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The Outsiders: A Trip To Santa Monica

The Outsiders: A TRIP TO SANTA MONICA (Episode 3)

Published: 10-16-19 - Updated: 10-17-19

They head to Button's house at Santa Monica. Brain's gotta new girlfriend called Tara, Button's sister. He has to man himself up and stop being a pussy so he can finally get it on. Which means, he needs an advice of how to make this scenario better without screwing it up. Will Brain get it? This is episode 3 of The Outsiders. Rated R for Strong Language/Sexual References

Part 1: Brain's New Girlfriend

(Squit N/R: So Brain whisked Button's sister, Tara, away for their romantic weekend, and it's fair to say it wasn't exactly as she'd imagined it.)

Tara: Can you slow down a bit at least, Brain?

Brain: OK, Tara. Sorry.

Pinky: Christ, what's got into you? We're only doing fucking 65!

Tara: I get carsick, especially in the back.

Squit: (sarcastically) There's no rush. Let's enjoy the drive. This is one of the more beautiful stretches of anonymous American highway.

Brain: It's not Tara's fault she gets carsick.

Tara: I can speak for myself, Brain.

Pinky: Oooohhhhh! Beep, beep, beep, beep!

Brain: (swats Pinky in the head) Pinky, shut up!

(silence)

Tara: OW! Something hard's digging into my leg.

Pinky: (scratching his head looking dizzy) Ha. Don't look at me. Although my ding-a-ling could reach from here! (laughs)

Brain: (annoyed by Pinky's comment) Pinky, prepare for more pain when we get there.

Tara: Shit, what is this? (picks up a bottle of orangeade from outta nowhere)

Pesto: Oh, sorry. That's mine. My bad.

Squit: Why are you taking a four-litre bottle of orangeade to Santa Monica?

Pesto: Well, duh. Polite, being a good guest, bring a bottle.

Squit: Bring a bottle means alcohol, Pesto.

Pesto: Nah, everyone likes orangeade. You make cocktails with it, like vodka and orangeade, or whisky and orangeade, or wine and orangeade.

Squit: Those aren't cocktails. That's just the names drinks with orangeade added to it.

Pesto: Ayy, coo off! At least I'm being polite here!

Tara: Thank you, Pesto, I'm sure my brother, Buttons, will appreciate it.

Pesto: But ya know what he wouldn't appreciate…(grunt)

Pinky: Oh, no, Pesto, you didn't?

Pesto: Fuck yeah, I did. (laughs)

Wakko: (holds nose) I'm gonna throw up.

Tara: What happened?

Squit: Unbelievable.

Tara: (sniff) Oh, my God, that stinks!

Brain: Pesto, have you farted again?

Pesto: Not sure. Could be fart, could be worse. (laughs)

Brain: (annoyed) For fuck's sake, open a window!

Squit: You really need to see a bowel specialist.

Wakko: Or a bowel exorcist.

Pinky: (teasing) Or he could ask his gay-ass dad. He likes inspecting men's anuses.

Tara: Oh, I feel really sick. Brain, can you pull over?

Pesto: Relax, it was only a Sausage and Cheese McMuffin.

(Tara moans again)

Pesto: No, wait. (farts again) Oh, forgot the hash brown.

Brain: PESTO!

Squit: Oh, for christ's sake!

Tara: Can someone please open a window?!

(Squit N/R: Fortunately, Pesto''s McFarts calmed down just outside Santa Monica. Which is more than could be said for Tara.)

Tara: They're getting the train back or I am.

Brain: Look, it'll be fine. Let's just remember why we're here, okay?

(Buttons saw Squit, Pinky, Brain, Pesto and Wakko as he knows them again but he looks unimpressed.)

Buttons: Oh no, It's you five again.

Pinky: We've just came to hang out, OK? No biggie.

Pesto: (points at Squit) Apart from him, he's lonely.

Squit: Some of us are going to work at the animation department next year, so I thought I'd come along, check the place out, maybe even make a few friends in case worst comes to worst and I end up at Santa Monica.

Buttons: Meaning?

Squit: Well, just it's not my first choice.

Wakko: It's your last choice.

Squit: But it is a choice. I think that's the key point.

Pesto: I've bought orangeade for the party.

Buttons: There isn't a party.

Pinky: Good. 'Coz we could make it a party.

Buttons: You couldn't. God, it's bad enough that Concord Condor's idiotic friends descend on us practically every night.

Squit: Jesus, is he still a nightmare?

Buttons: God, he's a complete tool, all he does is drink. I don't know why we agreed to share with him.

Squit: I know him before, interesting. Bit of a social hub is he? The big man on campus, the go-to guy?

(All of them, even Buttons, look confused by Squit's comment.)

Buttons: Whatever. Christian's away, so I suppose those four can sleep in his room. I'll share with Heike, although she's got the flu. That'll mean me catching it. Tara, you and Brain can have my room.

Brain & Tara: Thanks.

Buttons: I'm not keen on you having sex, but at least I know you're doing it somewhere comfortable.

Brain: Phew. Absolutely. Only in her vagina.

Buttons: Uhhh...I meant in my bed.

Brain: So did I?

Pinky: Then, why did you say "vagina"?

Brain: (confused) Huh, weird.

(awkward silence)

Buttons: Come on, Tara, I'll show you where the condoms and spare sheets are.

Pinky: Nice to see ya back, bruh.

(Buttons and Tara went inside.)

Wakko: Wait. Who's Heike?

Brain: Roommate. Sexy. Also Dutch.

Pesto: Cool, I've never met a Dutch.

Pinky: How comes you never met a single Dutch?! They're always the filthiest!

Pesto: You know this?

Pinky: Well, duh. I fucked a Dutch bitch. Remember?

Brain: (disbelief) Bullshit. Never been to Holland.

Pinky: Yeah, I have! It was when I had my Sweet 16.

Squit: (sarcastically) And what did she do to you at your 16th birthday that was so filthy? Give you a blow job in a windmill? Jerk you off with clogs?

Pinky: No, but I wish. Look, it was properly filthy, I shouldn't tell.

Brain: Oh, really. Go for it.

Pinky: Fine. (thinks of something) When I fingered her, she shat down my arm.

(All 4 look confused and disgusted by Pinky's story.)

(awkward silence)

Pesto: Shall we go and look where we're sleeping?

Squit: Yep. Good Idea.

(All of them went in Button's house.)

(Squit N/R: And to think, I had a Sweet 16. Huh?)

Part 2: QUESTIONS! DOWN IT!

(Squit N/R: We'd only travelled as far as Santa Monica, but Button's roommate, Concord, the one we know, and his friends including, Willie Wombat and Axl Gator, the actors from Taz-Mania are the ones I have known them before, but now they seemed to speak a different language for some reason. And yes, they're actually rappers.)

(Concord opens the door for Willie and Axl.)

Concord: Good evening, Commander, Bombardier.

Willie: Good evening, Admiral!

(Buttons came to the door, looking dead inside.)

Axl: All right, Butto, where's dat lil' sis of yours?

Buttons: She's upstairs with her boyfriend.

(They all gasp)

Willie: Boyfriend!?

Axl: Denied!

Concord: Denied!

Willie: Denied!

Concord: Come in, gentlemen, and we'll commence!

(They came in.)

Buttons: Don't break anything.

Axl: Chill, speccy.

(Squit N/R: Speccy. An insulting nickname. I think it meant they like you. Meanwhile, it was a good job that Pinky, Pesto and Wakko had their sleeves rolled down, cos there was a Dutch gal on the loose.)

(In the bedroom.)

Heike: Hello!

Pinky: Hey there, what's up?

Heike: You are Button's sister's friends?

Wakko: Oh, absolutely.

Heike: OK, very welcome. I have a fucking cold, so I am looking for the bloody tissues. (sneezed)

Pinky: Bless ya.

Heike: Thanks! (Pick up a box of Kleenex from the table) There are the bloody things. See you, guys, have a super fun night.

Pinky: Oh, we will have a super fun night. If ya know what I mean. (elbows Wakko softly) Heh, heh?

Wakko: Most definitely.

Pesto: Um-hm.

Heike: Great. Bye to you.

(She leaves the room.)

Pesto: (whispers to Pinky) She's hot!

Wakko: She looks like she loves dick.

Pesto: Do you have to do it different with dis Dutch ho?

Pinky: There are 3 things you need to know about European hoes, homies. They're filthy, they're hairy and they don't mind if you wipe it on the towel.

(Wakko and Pesto look confused by Pinky's comment.)

(Squit N/R: I'd always imagined my evenings at Santa Monica would consist of studing animation and filmmaking, heated intellectual debate and avoiding elderly homosexual hip-hop lecturers. The reality over here was a little different.)

Willie: The next game is Fuzzy Duck.

Axl: Duckmaster General, to da left, fuzzy duck.

Concord: Fuzzy duck.

Willie: Did he?

Axl: Fuzzy duck?

Concord: Drink! Yo lost, son!

Axl: Damnit! (drinks a bottle of wine.)

(Squit came into the living room to get a can of beer.)

Squit: Hey, fellas, you don't mind if I join ya, do ya?

Concord: Questions, motherfucka! Two fingers.

Squit: What? What does "two fingers" mean? Two fingers of what? (points at beer) This?

Axl: (singing) Pointiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggg!

Willie: A fine, Admiral? Mah only wan.

Concord: And the fine is…

Concord, Willie & Axl: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

Squit: Y'okay?

Concord, Willie & Axl: ...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…

Squit: Uhhh...do ya need help or something?

Concord, Willie & Axl: ...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...DOWN IT!

Axl: Yeah, c'mon!

Squit: Fine. But after that, can we speak proper English, please?

Concord, Willie & Axl: QUESTIONS! QUESTIONS! DOWN IT! DOWN IT! DOWN IT!

Squit: (slightly annoyed) Fine! I was about to drink it anyway, gosh! (he opens the can and drinks)

Concord, Willie & Axl: (rapping) Down it! Down it! Down it! Down It! Get it down ya, Zulu warriah! Get it down you, Zulu ho!

Squit: (confused) What? Zulu? Why Zulu?

(Pinky and Pesto ran to the living room.)

Pinky: Dafuq's dat noise?!

Pesto: Yeah. What's all da ruckuss?

Axl: Question! Down it! (hands 2 beers to Pinky and Pesto)

Squit: (annoyed) I honestly have no idea what's going on anymore.

(Wakko came.)

Wakko: Can I play?

Concord, Willie & Axl: Questions! (hand a beer to Wakko.)

(Squit N/R: It seems like a vaguely ghetto-gangsta moronic drinking game. But as these guys were real rappers, I assumed it was irony. In the kitchen, nothing ironic was happening.)

(Brain and Tara were kissing in the kitchen but Buttons came along.)

Buttons: Not in the kitchen, please. I eat in here.

Brain: Hi, Buttons. Didn't notice ya here. Heh, heh.

(Buttons ignores him.)

Buttons: Tara, did you find those towels to put down?

Tara: Yep.

Buttons: And the lotion?

Tara: Yep.

Buttons: Good. Well, just remember, it's when you're ready, not when he's ready, OK? It doesn't have to be tonight and it certainly doesn't have to be in the kitchen either.

Brain: (butting in) So what's your new career anyway, Buttons?

Buttons: Look, you probably won't enjoy it, but just make sure you don't regret it, OK?

Brain: (still butting in) You said you're directing, right?

Tara: Jesus, just give it a rest, please.

Buttons: Look, I'm only saying these things because I love you, okay?

Tara: Yeah, I know, but your friend loves me too.

Buttons: Huh. Does he?

(Buttons looks at Brain, as Brain was gulping, looking shy.)

Pesto: (from the living room) FUZZY DUCKKKKKKKKK!

Brain: Sorry, that was my friends. I should go and check on them.

Buttons: No, don't worry, I'll do it.

Brain: Bye, Buttons! Great to see ya again!

(Buttons looks at Brain angrily and leaves the kitchen.)

Tara: I think he really likes you!

Brain: Yeah, he LIKED us. I don't understand. We use to work together since 1993, now he seems like he hates me.

Tara: No, he's probably just jealous.

Brain: Really?

Tara: Yeah, cos I've got you. Let's not wait any longer, let's go to bed and get it on.

Brain: Great. I just need to run that by my friends first.

Tara: For what? Are you gonna ask them for their advice?

Brain: (shocked) Oh, shit, did Pinky tell you?!

Tara: I was joking!

Brain: Ha, good one. But I do need to talk to them about dinner, though. Pinky gets grumpy if he doesn't eat.

Tara: (gets annoyed) I don't give a flying fuck!

Brain: Look, why don't you go upstairs and get yourself ready, and I'll tell them they can order pizza.

(Squit, Pinky, Pesto and Wakko came into the kitchen.)

Pinky: Those motherfuckas are dope as fuck!

Squit: Yeah. Like dopelly need help! Do they even speak english?

Pesto: (he whacks Squit in the head) Ayy, quit ya whinin'! You're just dead inside because we fit in with da posse because we're da homies and you don't because you're a pussy!

Wakko: I love it. I think I wanna be a rapper now.

Squit: I wouldn't bank on it, Wakko.

Pesto: Ha. Good times.

Brain: Anyway, Pinky, I just wanna talk about dinner. (Hands Pinky $50) Here's $50, just order some pizza.

Pinky: Sweet, thanks, mah boy!

Tara: Brain, c'mon! Let's go.

Brain: Okay, just a sec, I just need to sort this out.

Tara: God! Fine! (she was about to leave)

Brain: But, don't worry. You won't forget the flaw, right?

Tara: What flaw?

Brain: The flaw is I'M GONNA FUCK YOUR FUCKIN' FANNY OFF, YOU FUCKIN' WHORE!

Tara: Nice, now your talking! That's what I need from a man like you! See ya in the sec, hot boy!

(Tara goes upstairs)

Brain: (he suddenly panics) Guys! Listen, I need your advice. You know you said I'd have a problem getting it up? I've got the exact opposite problem, it won't go down. If she touches it, I'm sure it'll go off, straight away. What am I gonna do?

Squit: Just be yourself, be honest with her.

(Pesto facepalms.)

Pinky: (in disbelief) Worst advice ever.

Brain: Pinky, help me!

Pinky: Look, it's somethin' simple. If I were you, go and jerk off now, then when she puts some protection around it, you'll be able to go for hours.

Brain: Pinky, you're a genius! Good idea. (looking confused) Wait...is it?!

Pinky: Fuck yeah! Now shut da fuck up, get up there, knock one out, start on her and don't embarrass yourself and most importantly, don't...be...a...pussy.

Pesto: Yeah, try and forget about how dis is da biggest moment of your life.

Brain: Thanks. See ya.

(Brain runs upstairs.)

Pinky: Good luck.

(Squit N/R: So Brain chose Pinky's advice over mine and as a result was now masturbating into a sink whilst inhaling his girlfriend's thong.)

(In the bathroom, Brain was masturbating.)

Tara: (outside the bathroom) Brainy-Poo, come on. Come to bed.

Brain: Coming, I'm just doing a...number 2. Promise, I'll be quick.

Tara: (outside the bathroom) OK. Wash your hands. (leaves)

Brain: Phew. (carried on masturbating)

(Squit N/R: Downstairs, after only a couple of hours in their company, I was already hopin' the Commander, the Bombardier and the Admiral - would get sent to Afghanistan.)

Willie: Yo, MC Pest, dare ya to down this shit?! (Holds a bottle of orangeade, but now with cigerette butts inside.)

Pesto: Oh, what, no way. (slience) Ahhh...fuck it, let's do dis!

Squit: You don't have to bow to peer pressure, Pesto.

Pesto: Ayy, coo off! I'm talking here! (silence) BITCH-MAGNET! (chugs down a bottle of orangeade with cigerette butts inside)

Squit: No, Pesto, c'mon! It's disgusting! Look, it's got fag butts in it!

(Pesto finishes the whole bottle and spits out a cigerette as everybody cheers.)

Pesto: HA! Smokinggggggg.

Squit: (sarcastically) Oh, great, cheer for dat. Because that was so impressive! What would you like for an encore, Pinky to punch himself in the fuckin' face?!

Pinky: Sure, why not. (punches himself as the other's celebrated.)

Axl: Y'some pussy-ass motherfucka.

Squit: No, no, I'm not.

Pinky: Y'still a bitch tho.

Squit: What, because I don't do dares?! It takes no time or effort or skill to down half a bottle of orangeade!

Wakko: Takes big balls, tho.

Squit: Well, I've got balls! More than you!

Concord: More than 2? Go ahead, do a dare!

Pesto: He won't, dat bitch is a bitch, son.

Axl: I know, look at dis dude.

Squit: So what, if I eat this…(grabs the bonsai tree)...bonsai tree, I automatically become more dope, do I?!

Everyone (in unison): FUCK YEAH! DOWN IT! DOWN IT! DOWN IT!

Axl: Do it.

Squit: Fine, I will!

(There's a short silence as Squit decides whether to eat it or now, despite that he's worried. Then he takes big bites out of the bonsai tree as he really is daring. The others are cheering for Squit.)

(Squit N/R: Unfortunately, it turns out bonsai doesn't mean "delicious little tree" in Japanese. Upstairs, Brain was striving to get some wood of his own.)

(In the bedroom.)

Brain: It is cold in here, isn't it? Like, really cold.

Tara: Cuddle up tighter?

Brain: Good idea.

(They cuddled up tighter as they kiss again.)

Brain: Jesus, does Buttons ever turn the heating on in here?

Tara: (unimpressed) Your sex talk is getting worse, Brain.

Brain: Sorry.

(They carried on kissing.)

Brain: Wait...is it gonna be his first directorial debut?

Tara: (annoyed) Look, he's a filmmaker, it's expensive, OK?! Do you wanna go and talk to him about gas prices?!

Brain: God no!

Tara: Good.

(Brain takes his top off.)

Brain: Are you gonna take your top off?

Tara: I'm cold too, you know.

Brain: Of course, sure, we established. Gimme the condom.

(Tara gets the condom for Brain until…)

Brain: Wait...could you put it on me? It's sexier.

Tara: OK, bad boy!

Brain: Are you ready?

Tara: I dunno. It doesn't look ready.

Brain: No, I'm fine. I just think it would help my, y'know, readiness a little bit, if you put it on with your mouth.

Tara: (confused) With my mouth?

Brain: Or ass.

(Tara looks even more confused.)

(Squit N/R: Or ass. Those two little words every girl dreams of hearing on her first time. Tut, tut, tut. Brain, what are ya doing?)

FINAL PART: The Night's Ruined, Literally

(Squit N/R: Back downstairs, I was halfway through dinner.)

(Squit is still munching up the bonsai tree and the others still cheering. Buttons came to the living room shortly after.)

Buttons: Guys, I'm going to bed, so can you try and keep it down 'coz my head is fuckin' killing me…(looks at Squit disgustingly) The fuck are you doing?!

Pinky: (tried offering Buttons a can of beer) Question! Two fingers. Therefore yo bitch!

Squit: I'm sorry! (burp) I was trying to satirise their bravado. But if you think about it, it worked.

Buttons: (looking disbelief) You ate a bonsai tree.

Squit: Yes, but...

Buttons: (annoyed) I think you should go to bed, and y'all should leave!

Concord: Yeah, fine, we're going back to the studio anyway.

Axl: (looks at Squit, sarcastically) Nice one, Specs, thanks for ruining da night.

Willie: (looks at Pinky) Oh, Pink-Boi, remember what we told ya about Heike, yo?

Pinky: Don't worry, my boy. No regrets!

Concord: No regrets.

Willie: No regrets.

Axl: (singing) NO REGREEEEEEEETS!

(They left as they shut the door, Squit was about to leave the living room.)

Buttons: Uhhh...where do you think you're going?

Squit: Bed. You told me to, remember? I'm tired anyways.

Buttons: Well, not without them, you're not. (sarcastically) Oh, and if you fancy a midnight snack, there's a spider plant in the bathroom. Night! (he goes upstairs)

Pesto: This has been the best night of my life.

(Squit N/R: So, while Pesto got emotional about drinking orangeade and fag butts, Tara was also doing her best to get something disgusting in her mouth: Brain's flaccid penis.)

(In the bedroom.)

Tara: I can't put it on at all when it's like that! Is it nerves?

Brain: Look, just stop talking about it, OK? It's not helping. Just get it on.

Tara: It's not working, it's too soft!

Brain: One more time, please.

Tara: Okay. Just don't push my head down so hard!

Brain: Sorry.

(Tara was choking on the condom but spits it out.)

Brain: Shit! Are you OK? Sorry, but you gotta be more careful. I was scared shitless.

Tara: Brain, it's still not doing anything!

Brain: I know. Oh, God, why won't it start? I do think if I could see your boobs, it would help.

(Tara looked slightly disgusted.)

Squit N/R: Unlike Brain, I could see nipples. Unfortunately, they were hairy and attached to 2 dickheads who wouldn't shut the fuck up.)

(In Button's bedroom, Pinky, Squit, Wakko and Pesto were in bed ready to sleep.)

Pinky: I know Heike wants to fuck me first.

Pesto: Uhhh...no. She wants to fuck ME first. Like the way she looked at me after she sneezed.

Squit: (half-asleep) Shhh. Sleepy times now.

Pinky: No! I've got young meat.

Pesto: No, I'VE got young meat! The Commander said she'd chose me first!

Pinky: Uhhh...no he didn't, motherfucka!

Pesto: Y'calling me a liar, bitch!?

Pinky: Y'calling me a bitch, ya bitch-calling liar!?

Pesto: DAT'S IT!

(As they were about to fight, when they were supposed to be asleep by now, Squit loses his temper and throws a pillow at them.)

Squit: (frustrated) You know what, I have a better idea! Why don't you two imbeciles go and do it together or something?! Get out of the bedroom, and ask her for the fuck she so famously wants! Just let me FUCKIN' SLEEP!

(They pondered as they agreed.)

Pesto: Ayy, good idea.

Pinky: Dude, you're a genius.

Pesto: We'll be right back.

(As they leave.)

Squit: No, guys, come on, I wasn't serious.

(The door shuts.)

Squit: Fine, fine, have it your way! I don't care. I'm sick and tired of babysitting you spoiled brats anyways. (he sleeps in piece)

Wakko: (whispering in his sleep) Ugh, it feels so gooooood.

Squit: Yeah, it does feel so…(He jumped out of the bed and finally realises Wakko was pissing in the bed.) Wak! WAK! WAKE THE FUCK UP, YOU PISSED THE BED!

Wakko: (finally woke up, but still pissing) Oh, no!

Squit: Stop! Stop pissing!

Wakko: I've gotta problem with that!

Squit: Well, go to the fuckin' toliet next time, how about that!?

(Wakko finally gets up and stops pissing.)

Squit: Oh, God, Button's gonna murder us! Why's it so green?

Wakko: Uh. My head hurts.

Squit: (furious) Well, thank you very much for reminding me this 'coz I'll suspend your sympathy once I get uncovered in your piss!

Wakko: It's good for you.

Squit: (sarcastically) Well, whooptty-doo! I'll piss on you, shall I?!

Wakko: Wait, really?

Squit: NO! GET THE FUCK TO THE TOILET!

(Wakko goes outside the bedroom.)

Squit: Ugh, it smells like pissy Sugar Puffs!

Wakko: I'm a mess. Which one's the bathroom?

Squit: More worryingly, where's Pinky and Pesto?

(Heike screamed from the other bedroom.)

Squit: (sarcastically) Well, what a surprise.

(In the bedroom.)

Pinky: Come on, Heike, just gimme a little fuck, I know you wanna.

Buttons: (angrily) Get out! You've got ten seconds to get out of my fucking room!

Pesto: Don't worry! I've got enough young meat for ya both. How about a fourway?!

Buttons: (gets out of bed and kicks them out) Get fucking out!

(Squit N/R: So while these two idiots had to get out, Brain couldn't get in.)

(Tara and Brain were trying to have sex, but it wasn't going so well.)

Tara: Brain, Brain. Nothing's happening.

Brain: (frustrated) I know, do you think I don't fucking know that?! I know that better than anyone! I know it's floppy!

Tara: Sorry! I was just saying.

Brain: Well, don't just say, OK?! I know better than anyone that my penis isn't fucking working!

Tara: It's OK.

Brain: (gets furious) It's not fucking OK! It's not OK! (looks at his penis) Why won't you start?! Every time I don't want one, you're actually there, and yet the one time I actually need it, nothing!

Tara: OK, you're scaring me now.

Brain: Just work, you stupid fucking thing! Get big! Get big!

Tara: (scared) Brain!

Brain: Why aren't you doing it?! Do it! Get big! Oh, please just work, you ugly cunt! (he burst into tears as he was hitting his penis)

Tara: (scared) Brain, stop it!

(Meanwhile, Buttons kicks Pinky and Pesto out of the bedroom and saw Squit and Wakko covered in piss.)

Buttons: What the fuck, man, have you pissed in my fucking room?!

Squit: Well, Wakko… (looks at Wakko angrily)

Wakko: My bad.

Squit: ...just had a little accident. But look, none of this is ideal, I am aware of that.

Buttons: (getting furious) You are disgusting! Disgusting! Oh, my God, the smell, the mess!

(Tara gets out of the room and hid behind Buttons to get away from Brain as she's scared.)

Tara: Buttons, Buttons, he's gone weird just like you said he would.

(Brain also gets out of the room.)

Brain: Yes! Tara, Tara, Tara, look, I've almost got it! Oh, hi, everyone.

(There was a short silence as Pinky facepalms and whispers "I told ya not to be a pussy", Buttons look disgusted, Pesto and Wakko looked confused and Squit looks shocked.)

Pinky: Buttons, look. I know we had some shitty times but look around us now!

(Buttons looked at them as the others were naked.)

Pinky: WE'RE NAKED!

(short silence)

Buttons: (getting livid) I swear to god! If you don't get outta my house right now, I'm gonna call the fuckin' cops!

(Pinky turned his smile into a frown.)

Buttons: GET OUT! (as he gets the phone)

Pinky: (angrily) Well, fuck you! It worked anyway!

Squit: Okay fine, this isn't perfect, sure, but let's be reasonable here, none of us have any clothes on.

(Buttons still looks disgusted.)

Pesto: Are we havin' dis four-way or what?!

(Buttons was losing his patients as he threatens them by calling 911.)

Squit: OK, OK. Fine. We're going. We're sorry.

(They all leave.)

(Squit N/R: No, we weren't gonna have a four-way, we were gonna spend the night in Brain's shitty-ass car naked and then when we'd sobered up, drive home at stupid 5 o'clock the next morning.)

(In a car, Brain, Squit and Wakko were still upset about earlier while Pinky and Pesto were vomiting in the doggybags.)

Pesto: God, I think I regret drinking a whole bottle of orangeade wit cigarettes in it! (vomits again)

Wakko: Didn't Tara want a lift back, Brain?

Brain: I think she's OK, Wak. (sarcastically) Oh, and I forgot to thank y'all for the advice, by the way, it went perfectly. I'm so glad y'all came along.

Pinky: I told ya not to pussy out. What exactly did you do to her anyway?

Pesto: Yeah, what happened?

Brain: (sarcastically) Nothing. I think that's what happened.

(Brain's phone rang from the floor.)

Brain: Get it, Squit.

(Squit picks up his phone and checks.)

Squit: It's Tara.

Pinky: (dizzy) Beep, beep, beep, beep.

Brain: Oh, cool.

Squit: (still checking) She says never contact her and Buttons again or Buttons will kill you.

Brain: Cool.

(Pinky vomited in the bag again as Brain tapped him in the back.)

(Squit N/R: I'd been inspired by my trip to Santa Monica. Inspired to get the best career I possibly could so I didn't end up at the asylum with Pinky and Pesto. But one good thing came out of the weekend: Tara dumping Brain meant I got my friend back. My silver-tongued,... (Brain (flashback): FUCK YOUR FUCKIN' FANNY OFF, YOU FUCKIN' WHORE!) ...slightly weird and still a "pussy" friend.)

Pesto: Guys, pull over to da hospital, I think I need ta get my stomach pumped! (farts) Whoops. (laughs) I think the orangeade and the cigarettes just slipped outta my rear end for somehow. My bad! (laughs again)

Squit: Oh, for Christ's sake!

Brain: PESTO!

THE END!

I hope you enjoyed my 3rd fanfiction episode of the Outsiders. Thx. Peace!

#animaniacs #theoutsiders #goodfeathers

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