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Auto Body Repair Shop NYC
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Cleantech has an enshittification problem
On July 14, I'm giving the closing keynote for the fifteenth HACKERS ON PLANET EARTH, in QUEENS, NY. Happy Bastille Day! On July 20, I'm appearing in CHICAGO at Exile in Bookville.
EVs won't save the planet. Ultimately, the material bill for billions of individual vehicles and the unavoidable geometry of more cars-more traffic-more roads-greater distances-more cars dictate that the future of our cities and planet requires public transit – lots of it.
But no matter how much public transit we install, there's always going to be some personal vehicles on the road, and not just bikes, ebikes and scooters. Between deliveries, accessibility, and stubbornly low-density regions, there's going to be a lot of cars, vans and trucks on the road for the foreseeable future, and these should be electric.
Beyond that irreducible minimum of personal vehicles, there's the fact that individuals can't install their own public transit system; in places that lack the political will or means to create working transit, EVs are a way for people to significantly reduce their personal emissions.
In policy circles, EV adoption is treated as a logistical and financial issue, so governments have focused on making EVs affordable and increasing the density of charging stations. As an EV owner, I can affirm that affordability and logistics were important concerns when we were shopping for a car.
But there's a third EV problem that is almost entirely off policy radar: enshittification.
An EV is a rolling computer in a fancy case with a squishy person inside of it. While this can sound scary, there are lots of cool implications for this. For example, your EV could download your local power company's tariff schedule and preferentially charge itself when the rates are lowest; they could also coordinate with the utility to reduce charging when loads are peaking. You can start them with your phone. Your repair technician can run extensive remote diagnostics on them and help you solve many problems from the road. New features can be delivered over the air.
That's just for starters, but there's so much more in the future. After all, the signal virtue of a digital computer is its flexibility. The only computer we know how to make is the Turing complete, universal, Von Neumann machine, which can run every valid program. If a feature is computationally tractable – from automated parallel parking to advanced collision prevention – it can run on a car.
The problem is that this digital flexibility presents a moral hazard to EV manufacturers. EVs are designed to make any kind of unauthorized, owner-selected modification into an IP rights violation ("IP" in this case is "any law that lets me control the conduct of my customers or competitors"):
https://locusmag.com/2020/09/cory-doctorow-ip/
EVs are also designed so that the manufacturer can unilaterally exert control over them or alter their operation. EVs – even more than conventional vehicles – are designed to be remotely killswitched in order to help manufacturers and dealers pressure people into paying their car notes on time:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon
Manufacturers can reach into your car and change how much of your battery you can access:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world
They can lock your car and have it send its location to a repo man, then greet him by blinking its lights, honking its horn, and pulling out of its parking space:
https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/
And of course, they can detect when you've asked independent mechanic to service your car and then punish you by degrading its functionality:
https://www.repairerdrivennews.com/2024/06/26/two-of-eight-claims-in-tesla-anti-trust-lawsuit-will-move-forward/
This is "twiddling" – unilaterally and irreversibly altering the functionality of a product or service, secure in the knowledge that IP law will prevent anyone from twiddling back by restoring the gadget to a preferred configuration:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/02/19/twiddler/
The thing is, for an EV, twiddling is the best case scenario. As bad as it is for the company that made your EV to change how it works whenever they feel like picking your pocket, that's infinitely preferable to the manufacturer going bankrupt and bricking your car.
That's what just happened to owners of Fisker EVs, cars that cost $40-70k. Cars are long-term purchases. An EV should last 12-20 years, or even longer if you pay to swap the battery pack. Fisker was founded in 2016 and shipped its first Ocean SUV in 2023. The company is now bankrupt:
https://insideevs.com/news/723669/fisker-inc-bankruptcy-chapter-11-official/
Fisker called its vehicles "software-based cars" and they weren't kidding. Without continuous software updates and server access, those Fisker Ocean SUVs are turning into bricks. What's more, the company designed the car from the ground up to make any kind of independent service and support into a felony, by wrapping the whole thing in overlapping layers of IP. That means that no one can step in with a module that jailbreaks the Fisker and drops in an alternative firmware that will keep the fleet rolling.
This is the third EV risk – not just finance, not just charger infrastructure, but the possibility that any whizzy, cool new EV company will go bust and brick your $70k cleantech investment, irreversibly transforming your car into 5,500 lb worth of e-waste.
This confers a huge advantage onto the big automakers like VW, Kia, Ford, etc. Tesla gets a pass, too, because it achieved critical mass before people started to wise up to the risk of twiddling and bricking. If you're making a serious investment in a product you expect to use for 20 years, are you really gonna buy it from a two-year old startup with six months' capital in the bank?
The incumbency advantage here means that the big automakers won't have any reason to sink a lot of money into R&D, because they won't have to worry about hungry startups with cool new ideas eating their lunches. They can maintain the cozy cartel that has seen cars stagnate for decades, with the majority of "innovation" taking the form of shitty, extractive and ill-starred ideas like touchscreen controls and an accelerator pedal that you have to rent by the month:
https://www.theverge.com/2022/11/23/23474969/mercedes-car-subscription-faster-acceleration-feature-price
Put that way, it's clear that this isn't an EV problem, it's a cleantech problem. Cleantech has all the problems of EVs: it requires a large capital expenditure, it will be "smart," and it is expected to last for decades. That's rooftop solar, heat-pumps, smart thermostat sensor arrays, and home storage batteries.
And just as with EVs, policymakers have focused on infrastructure and affordability without paying any attention to the enshittification risks. Your rooftop solar will likely be controlled via a Solaredge box – a terrible technology that stops working if it can't reach the internet for a protracted period (that's right, your home solar stops working if the grid fails!).
I found this out the hard way during the covid lockdowns, when Solaredge terminated its 3G cellular contract and notified me that I would have to replace the modem in my system or it would stop working. This was at the height of the supply-chain crisis and there was a long waiting list for any replacement modems, with wifi cards (that used your home internet rather than a cellular connection) completely sold out for most of a year.
There are good reasons to connect rooftop solar arrays to the internet – it's not just so that Solaredge can enshittify my service. Solar arrays that coordinate with the grid can make it much easier and safer to manage a grid that was designed for centralized power production and is being retrofitted for distributed generation, one roof at a time.
But when the imperatives of extraction and efficiency go to war, extraction always wins. After all, the Solaredge system is already in place and solar installers are largely ignorant of, and indifferent to, the reasons that a homeowner might want to directly control and monitor their system via local controls that don't roundtrip through the cloud.
Somewhere in the hindbrain of any prospective solar purchaser is the experience with bricked and enshittified "smart" gadgets, and the knowledge that anything they buy from a cool startup with lots of great ideas for improving production, monitoring, and/or costs poses the risk of having your 20 year investment bricked after just a few years – and, thanks to the extractive imperative, no one will be able to step in and restore your ex-solar array to good working order.
I make the majority of my living from books, which means that my pay is very "lumpy" – I get large sums when I publish a book and very little in between. For many years, I've used these payments to make big purchases, rather than financing them over long periods where I can't predict my income. We've used my book payments to put in solar, then an induction stove, then a battery. We used one to buy out the lease on our EV. And just a month ago, we used the money from my upcoming Enshittification book to put in a heat pump (with enough left over to pay for a pair of long-overdue cataract surgeries, scheduled for the fall).
When we started shopping for heat pumps, it was clear that this was a very exciting sector. First of all, heat pumps are kind of magic, so efficient and effective it's almost surreal. But beyond the basic tech – which has been around since the late 1940s – there is a vast ferment of cool digital features coming from exciting and innovative startups.
By nature, I'm the kid of person who likes these digital features. I started out as a computer programmer, and while I haven't written production code since the previous millennium, I've been in and around the tech industry for my whole adult life. But when it came time to buy a heat-pump – an investment that I expected to last for 20 years or more – there was no way I was going to buy one of these cool new digitally enhanced pumps, no matter how much the reviewers loved them. Sure, they'd work well, but it's precisely because I'm so knowledgeable about high tech that I could see that they would fail very, very badly.
You may think EVs are bullshit, and they are – though there will always be room for some personal vehicles, and it's better for people in transit deserts to drive EVs than gas-guzzlers. You may think rooftop solar is a dead-end and be all-in on utility scale solar (I think we need both, especially given the grid-disrupting extreme climate events on our horizon). But there's still a wide range of cleantech – induction tops, heat pumps, smart thermostats – that are capital intensive, have a long duty cycle, and have good reasons to be digitized and networked.
Take home storage batteries: your utility can push its rate card to your battery every time they change their prices, and your battery can use that information to decide when to let your house tap into the grid, and when to switch over to powering your home with the solar you've stored up during the day. This is a very old and proven pattern in tech: the old Fidonet BBS network used a version of this, with each BBS timing its calls to other nodes to coincide with the cheapest long-distance rates, so that messages for distant systems could be passed on:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FidoNet
Cleantech is a very dynamic sector, even if its triumphs are largely unheralded. There's a quiet revolution underway in generation, storage and transmission of renewable power, and a complimentary revolution in power-consumption in vehicles and homes:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/12/s-curve/#anything-that-cant-go-on-forever-eventually-stops
But cleantech is too important to leave to the incumbents, who are addicted to enshittification and planned obsolescence. These giant, financialized firms lack the discipline and culture to make products that have the features – and cost savings – to make them appealing to the very wide range of buyers who must transition as soon as possible, for the sake of the very planet.
It's not enough for our policymakers to focus on financing and infrastructure barriers to cleantech adoption. We also need a policy-level response to enshittification.
Ideally, every cleantech device would be designed so that it was impossible to enshittify – which would also make it impossible to brick:
Based on free software (best), or with source code escrowed with a trustee who must release the code if the company enters administration (distant second-best);
All patents in a royalty-free patent-pool (best); or in a trust that will release them into a royalty-free pool if the company enters administration (distant second-best);
No parts-pairing or other DRM permitted (best); or with parts-pairing utilities available to all parties on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best);
All diagnostic and error codes in the public domain, with all codes in the clear within the device (best); or with decoding utilities available on demand to all comers on a reasonable and non-discriminatory basis (distant second-best).
There's an obvious business objection to this: it will reduce investment in innovative cleantech because investors will perceive these restrictions as limits on the expected profits of their portfolio companies. It's true: these measures are designed to prevent rent-extraction and other enshittificatory practices by cleantech companies, and to the extent that investors are counting on enshittification rents, this might prevent them from investing.
But that has to be balanced against the way that a general prohibition on enshittificatory practices will inspire consumer confidence in innovative and novel cleantech products, because buyers will know that their investments will be protected over the whole expected lifespan of the product, even if the startup goes bust (nearly every startup goes bust). These measures mean that a company with a cool product will have a much larger customer-base to sell to. Those additional sales more than offset the loss of expected revenue from cheating and screwing your customers by twiddling them to death.
There's also an obvious legal objection to this: creating these policies will require a huge amount of action from Congress and the executive branch, a whole whack of new rules and laws to make them happen, and each will attract court-challenges.
That's also true, though it shouldn't stop us from trying to get legal reforms. As a matter of public policy, it's terrible and fucked up that companies can enshittify the things we buy and leave us with no remedy.
However, we don't have to wait for legal reform to make this work. We can take a shortcut with procurement – the things governments buy with public money. The feds, the states and localities buy a lot of cleantech: for public facilities, for public housing, for public use. Prudent public policy dictates that governments should refuse to buy any tech unless it is designed to be enshittification-resistant.
This is an old and honorable tradition in policymaking. Lincoln insisted that the rifles he bought for the Union Army come with interoperable tooling and ammo, for obvious reasons. No one wants to be the Commander in Chief who shows up on the battlefield and says, "Sorry, boys, war's postponed, our sole supplier decided to stop making ammunition."
By creating a market for enshittification-proof cleantech, governments can ensure that the public always has the option of buying an EV that can't be bricked even if the maker goes bust, a heat-pump whose digital features can be replaced or maintained by a third party of your choosing, a solar controller that coordinates with the grid in ways that serve their owners – not the manufacturers' shareholders.
We're going to have to change a lot to survive the coming years. Sure, there's a lot of scary ways that things can go wrong, but there's plenty about our world that should change, and plenty of ways those changes could be for the better. It's not enough for policymakers to focus on ensuring that we can afford to buy whatever badly thought-through, extractive tech the biggest companies want to foist on us – we also need a focus on making cleantech fit for purpose, truly smart, reliable and resilient.
Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/26/unplanned-obsolescence/#better-micetraps
Image: 臺灣古寫真上色 (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Raid_on_Kagi_City_1945.jpg
Grendelkhan (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Ground_mounted_solar_panels.gk.jpg
CC BY-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/deed.en
#pluralistic#procurement#cleantech#evs#solar#solarpunk#policy#copyfight#copyright#felony contempt of business model#floss#free software#open source#oss#dmca 1201#interoperability#adversarial interoperability#solarization#electrification#enshittification#innovation#incumbency#climate#climate emergency
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Best Restaurants For Lunch Astoria
Getting into an accident is not a pleasant experience. At Better Body Auto Collision, we do our very best to make the situation as painless as possible. The staff at Better Body Auto Collision will work closely with you and the insurance companies to make sure your auto repairs are done quickly and as smoothly as possible. We handle the repair process for you, including working directly with your insurance company and agent, providing accurate and detailed repair estimates. We also deal with supplemental claims and repairing and refinishing your vehicle.
#Best Places For Lunch Astoria#Best Restaurants For Brunch Astoria#Best Restaurants For Lunch Astoria#Best Restaurants For French Food In Nyc#Bridal Brunch In Queens#Great Place For A Bridal Brunch In Queens
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Auto Collision Repair Shops Accepting Allstate in Queens
You can start with research if you are searching for auto collision repair shops. There are various service providers, but choose those with years of experience providing high-quality services. Please click here for more information on auto collision repair shops accepting Allstate in Queens, etc.
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eAutoCollision: Auto Body Shop 8027-8029 Foster Avenue Brooklyn NY 11236 (718) 517-9180
https://www.eautocollision.com https://g.page/auto-body-shop-nyc/
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Working Hours: Mon-Sat 8:00am - 6:00pm; Sun - closed Payment: cash, check, credit cards.
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Headlines
Optimism fades that jobs lost to virus will return (AP) Nearly half of Americans whose families experienced a layoff during the coronavirus pandemic now believe those jobs are lost forever, a new poll shows, as temporary cutbacks give way to shuttered businesses, bankruptcies and lasting payroll cuts. It’s a sharp change after initial optimism the jobs would return. In April, 78% of those in households with a job loss thought they’d be temporary. Now, 47% think that lost job is definitely or probably not coming back, according to the latest poll from The Associated Press-NORC Center for Public Affairs Research. That translates into roughly 10 million workers who will need to find a new employer, if not a new occupation. The poll is the latest sign the solid hiring of May and June, as some states lifted stay-at-home orders and the economy began to recover, may wane as the year goes on. Adding to the challenge: many students will begin the school-year online, making it harder for parents to take jobs outside their homes.
Watchdog to review conduct of federal agents in Portland, DC (AP) The Justice Department inspector general said Thursday that it will conduct a review of the conduct of federal agents who responded to unrest in Portland, Oregon and Washington, D.C., following concerns from members of Congress and the public. The watchdog investigation will examine use-of-force allegations in Portland, where the city’s top federal prosecutor and mayor have publicly complained. In Washington, investigators will look at the training and instruction provided to the federal agents who responded to protest activity at Lafayette Square, near the White House. Among the questions being studied are whether the agents followed Justice Department guidelines, including on identification requirements and in the deployment of chemical agents and use of force. The investigation was announced amid ongoing chaos in Portland, where Mayor Ted Wheeler was tear-gassed by federal agents as he stood outside the courthouse there. Local authorities in both cities have complained that the presence of federal agents have exacerbated tensions on the streets, while residents have accused the government of violating their constitutional rights.
FBI interviewing Chinese visa holders across U.S. about possible military ties: Justice Department (Reuters) The FBI has interviewed visa holders it believes to secretly be members of the Chinese military in more than two dozen U.S. cities, the Justice Department said on Thursday. The department said it has arrested three Chinese nationals for visa fraud, while a fourth remains a fugitive staying at China’s consulate in San Francisco. The United States believes the four were members of China’s military posing as researchers. “In interviews with members of the Chinese People’s Liberation Army in over 25 cities across the U.S., the FBI uncovered a concerted effort to hide their true affiliation to take advantage of the United States and the American people,” John Brown, executive assistant director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation’s national security branch, said in a statement.
The coming plastic-covered beach (Bloomberg) The annual flow of plastics into our oceans is on a trajectory to triple over the next 20 years, which could add up to 110 pounds of plastic trash for every meter of coastline worldwide, a new report finds. That path is not inevitable, however. The volume could be cut by 80%, the analysis found, by taking actions to reduce the growth of virgin plastic production, improve waste collection systems across the globe, and invest in the creation of plastic materials that are easier to recycle.
New York street partying fuels fears of coronavirus resurgence (The Guardian) Motorcycles revved, waiters served drinks, and food in busy outdoor street seating areas and, on the pavement, people gathered to sip to-go drinks. On Saturday night in Astoria, in Queens, it was almost as if coronavirus had never hit New York City. In April, the city was the center of the global coronavirus pandemic, with the daily death toll reaching almost 800 people at its height. But as cases of Covid-19 have steadied and lockdown restrictions have eased, this stretch of Steinway Street has emerged as an unofficial party street. But standing on the other side of the road from Mehmood in Astoria, outside a barber shop, Omar Melendez, 39, who has a newborn at home, said he was “living in fear”.
Thousands in Puerto Rico still without housing since Maria (AP) Nearly three years after Hurricane Maria tore through Puerto Rico, tens of thousands of homes remain badly damaged, many people face a hurricane season under fading blue tarp roofs and the island’s first major program to repair and rebuild houses hasn’t completed a single one. Maria hit more than 786,000 homes on Sept. 20, 2017, causing minor damage to some homes and sweeping others from their foundations. A federally funded program administered by local officials carried out relatively small repairs to some 108,000 homes the next year, while churches and nonprofits patched up thousands with private funds. A Puerto Rican government program known as R3 is the first major effort by the U.S. territory to carry out major repairs and rebuilding of damaged and destroyed housing. Nearly 27,000 homeowners have applied. But nearly 1 1/2 years after federal funding was released to local officials, not a single repair or rebuilding job has been completed. For many Puerto Ricans, the program’s slow progress has become a symbol of their government’s inability to address the long-term effects of the disaster. “They talk about billions of dollars, but we’re not seeing it,” said Sergio Torres, mayor of the northern mountain town of Corozal. His municipality still has 60 homes with blue tarps as roofs and two families still living in school shelters. “It’s a way of life here.”
Latin America’s beach towns isolate themselves to keep the coronavirus out (Miami Herald) Before the pandemic, thousands of people left the capital city of Santiago, Chile, every weekend to head to Los Molles. They filled the hotels and bars run by the town’s 648 permanent residents. It was a reliable and amicable relationship: The tourists came for the beaches and laid-back fishing village vibes, and their spending fed the Los Molles economy. When coronavirus quarantine measures were announced, Santiago residents fled to their beach vacation homes midweek, hoping to escape a claustrophobic quarantine in the capital and relax in Los Molles. But they found flaming barricades made of wood and tires, billowing tar-thick smoke and blocking the highway entrances leading into town. If the flaming barricades didn’t get the message across, the volunteer guards let anyone who wasn’t a permanent resident know this wasn’t the time for a beach vacation and sent them away. Los Molles is among a handful of small tourist towns in Latin America that have decided on isolation to protect themselves against the coronavirus pandemic. Remote beach towns in Mexico have used the same strategy. Residents of these small communities say the measures have worked. Los Molles residents said that with community organizing they have avoided any infections as of late July despite being two hours outside Santiago, which is now a global COVID-19 hot spot.
Bolivia election delayed to October as pandemic bites (Reuters) Bolivia’s general election will be pushed back until Oct. 18 as the pandemic grips the South American nation, a move that could fan tensions between the interim conservative government and the socialist party of former President Evo Morales. The head of the electoral tribunal said on Thursday that the vote would be postponed from the previously scheduled Sept. 6 date to ensure the safety of voters, with hospitals and cemeteries straining under the impact of the virus. The vote is key to the political future of the Andean nation of 11.5 million people after a fraught election last year sparked widespread protests and led to the resignation of the country’s long-term leftist leader Morales.
Brazil reports record infections as coronavirus spreads to all regions (Washington Post) There was a time, weeks ago, when Carlos Renan dos Santos Evaldt allowed himself to hope. Much of Brazil was in varying states of chaos as the novel coronavirus devastated the country’s largest cities. But it had largely spared the wealthier, more developed south. But after a surge in cases and deaths, his city is considering imposing a lockdown. The pockets of Brazil that had been largely unscathed by the virus—the south, the vast central states—have been engulfed by it. The sheer relentlessness of the surge here underscores Brazil’s failure to quell the world’s second-worst coronavirus outbreak. On Wednesday, Latin America’s largest country posted a record 67,860 new cases, bringing the total infected to 2.2 million, with nearly 83,000 dead. Both counts are second only to the United States.
Thailand protest movement puts country’s youth on collision course with military-backed establishment (CNN) Thailand’s student movement has reignited, as young people across the country defy threats from the military-backed government to take to the streets and call for the resignation of Prime Minister Prayut Chan-o-cha. In what was the biggest demonstration since the pandemic began, about 3,000 people gathered at Bangkok’s Democracy Monument on Saturday, according to organizers. They called for the dissolution of parliament, for the constitution to be rewritten, and for authorities to stop intimidating activists. Similar demands were made at smaller protests that sprang up in towns and cities across the country every day this week, with more planned for the coming days. The protests come after years of political upheaval marked by a military coup in 2014, followed by failed promises to restore democracy, and what activists say is a repression of civil rights and freedoms.
Iranian Civilian Jet Swerves to Avoid American Warplane in Syria (NYT) An Iranian passenger plane en route from Iran to Beirut swerved and dropped abruptly on Thursday to avoid a nearby American fighter jet, injuring several passengers before landing in Beirut. Videos broadcast by Iranian and pro-Iran Lebanese media, which said the footage was taken by passengers, showed a fighter jet flying alongside the passenger plane, operated by Mahan Air, a privately owned Iranian airline. Passengers then screamed as sudden turbulence seized the plane. In the aftermath, one video showed a passenger with his face and head bloodied, as well as a man lying down, apparently unconscious, while someone tended to him. Oxygen masks dangled overhead. Capt. Bill Urban, a spokesman for the U.S. Central Command, said in a statement later Thursday that an Air Force F-15 on “a routine air mission” near a small American military base in southern Syria had conducted “a standard visual inspection of a Mahan Air passenger airliner.”
Israeli police use water cannons on protesters, arrest 55 (AP) Israeli police used water cannons to disperse protesters in central Jerusalem and arrested at least 55 of them as clashes broke out overnight after thousands staged a protest against Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. Israelis have held a series of demonstrations in recent weeks calling on Netanyahu to resign, citing his trial on corruption charges and his fractious unity government’s poor handling of the coronavirus pandemic.
Cut off from world, and virus, Gaza prepares for Eid like nowhere else (Reuters) Gazans are thronging beaches and crowding markets filled with holiday sweets and clothes as they prepare to celebrate Eid al-Adha largely free of the coronavirus restrictions affecting the Muslim festival elsewhere. The 360 sq. km. coastal strip has had little access to the outside world for years due to an Israeli-led blockade which many Palestinians say is like living in permanent lockdown. No cases have been recorded in the towns and refugee camps where its two million Palestinian population live. The result is that Gazans are preparing much as normal ahead of Eid, which begins at the end of July, with few people wearing masks in shopping centers that are packed after sunset. “God protected us from the virus,” said Malkeya Abdallah, 62, as she relaxed on the beach near Gaza City.
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Absolutely Disastrous Ch 13
Ch 13: Get Your Flames on, Zack and Lydia! Treecko’s Growing Potential and Tepig’s Dazzling Debut!
Bradley accepted the free PokéNav in exchange for agreeing to not leave a bad review of Mahlson Corp on the Internet, though he refused to follow Milo into the CEO’s office and stormed off to train for his next gym battle. Milo felt pretty bad when he watched Bradley try to press an elevator button, but misjudged the length of his new Breloom arm and wound up poking at empty air.
“Don’t worry,” Amanda said, settling Minccino on top of Milo’s head to provide him with fluffy reassurance. Minccino stretched out, trying to flatten Milo’s cowlick with her tongue. “If he’d been fully turned into a Breloom, every trainer in the city would be bombarding him with Poké Balls.”
“I’ll make sure the scientist is written up and disciplined for this incident,” Orville asserted, gesturing for everyone to take a seat on the plush, luxurious couches in his office. Diogee laid down on the deep red carpet, nuzzling into its soft fuzz, Milo tried to sit too, but the couch cushion swallowed him until only his legs poked out and he had to be extracted by Melissa and Zack. He settled for the floor instead.
“I assume the scientist isn’t why you brought us here,” Melissa said. “What’s so top secret that you couldn’t tell us in the Pokémon Center?”
Orville set the briefcase on top of his desk, removing the documents and locking them into a vault behind a painting of a Relicanth. “I’d like to know about the people who were interested in my company’s research. Did the thieves talk about what they planned to do with this data?”
“Something about creating more land and being heroes,” Zack said. “Sorry, I was a little more focused on the walls suffocating us than anything that old man said.”
“Walls can’t suffocate you,” Melissa scoffed.
“They can if they sense you’re claustro-avoidant,” Zack retorted.
Lydia sat between Melissa and Zack, forcing them to the ends of the couch and ending their argument. “The businessman mentioned something about magma.”
“Cavendish and Ignacio—that’s who stole your documents—belong to an organization called Team Magma,” Milo added. “You have data on ancient geographical formations and they want to reawaken a Pokémon named Groudon.”
“Wait a minute,” Zack said, holding his hand up in a time-out. “Didn’t Dakota say something about reawakening something called a Cry-ogre?”
Melissa pounded the armrest at the mention of Dakota’s name. “It’s not Cry-ogre. It’s KY-owes me seven thousand Pokédollars-gre!”
“He dined and dashed on us. Though he mentioned he was the boss of Team Aqua, whatever that is,” Milo explained for Lydia, Amanda, and Orville’s benefit. “But his sandwich and smoothie cost a thousand.”
“The other six thousand includes taxes, interest, and emotional distress,” Melissa said. “And I’m gonna keep tacking on other charges ‘til he coughs up the money.”
Orville winced. “You planning to go into business?”
“Nope. My career goals are strictly journalist, author, and queen of the universe,’ Melissa replied.
“Er, good career goals. I think,” Orville said, unsure of how to respond to the last one. To be fair, most people didn’t think Melissa could be queen of the universe. Not that it was a hard title to obtain if she ever succeeded in stuffing Arceus into a Poké Ball. “Now, I want to give each of you a PokéNav. Along with helping you navigate the different biomes of Hoenn, it has the Mahlson Corp number and my personal cell registered in there too. I understand that all of you carry cell phones, but it wouldn’t hurt to carry a spare. Besides, I’d like to keep in touch due to the threat of the ancient Pokémon awakening if either Team Magma or Aqua succeed. If you find any more information, please contact us. In the meantime, I will place more funding into the areas of study these documents cover.”
“Hypothetically, what’s your policy in case the PokéNav catches on fire or is somehow destroyed under weird circumstances?” Zack asked as Milo reached for his device.
The PokéNav caught on fire, and Diogee pulled Milo back before he could touch it. Melissa stamped it out quickly, but the PokéNav was charred and blackened beyond repair.
“We replace it,” Orville said, pulling out another PokéNav from his desk.
The girls made sure everyone’s numbers were placed into the PokéNavs, then sealed them in fireproof bags before storing them into their backpacks.
“I also have two favors to ask,” Orville said. “First, I have a letter to my son, Orton. He’s probably in Granite Cave again. It’s just outside Dewford.”
He slid a sealed envelope across his desk.
“Lydia and I are skipping Dewford actually,” Amanda said. “We’re heading to Slateport after her contest in Rustboro.”
“In that case, would you two mind delivering these parts to a friend of mine?” Orville asked. He handed a small toolkit full of gears and rods to Amanda. “His name is Captain Bob Webber, and you can find him in the Shipyard. Bob is currently in the process of building a submarine for deep-sea exploration. There’s much we don’t know about the world, the ocean especially, but perhaps he’ll be able to shed some light on these mysteries upon the submarine’s completion.”
Melissa carefully folded the letter into a travel book. “We’ll deliver the letter,” she promised.
Orville nodded in approval. “Thank you. Orton’s researched many old myths and legends, partly for interest and partly for the storylines on Dr. Magnezone. I believe his knowledge will be useful. That’s all I have on my end. Feel free to call if you have any questions.”
“You don’t mind if we hold off for a few days, right?” Milo asked. “Zack and Lydia are competing in the Rustboro Contest soon.”
“Tepig and I have a totally rocking routine!” Lydia boasted. “We’re gonna get that Ribbon for sure!”
“I should probably figure something out with Treecko,” Zack admitted.
Melissa yawned. “But not tonight. It’s been a long day, and I just want a nice, comfy bed.”
As they gathered their belongings, Diogee sprang up and growled at a bookshelf.
“What’s he growling at?” Lydia asked.
Milo shrugged. He tried to hold Diogee back with his collar, but he was slowly dragged forward instead. “I’m not sure. Maybe he just doesn’t like dust bunnies.”
Once Diogee was close enough, he pounced on the bookshelf. Milo let go of the collar just in time, avoiding a head collision with the wooden frame. The books trembled, and Milo reached out to catch an expensive figurine of a Shiftry.
Something small and pink fled from the gap between the wall and bookshelf, and Diogee shot after it. A piercing wail erupted, and everybody shrieked and covered their ears. Zack and Melissa fought over a pillow to further muffle the noise while the Whismur continued its tearful rampage. Diogee was now more concerned with keeping his paws pressed to his head rather than chasing Whismur though.
In an attempt to escape the room, the Whismur crashed into Zack, and Melissa triumphantly claimed the pillow. A spare Pok é was knocked loose from Zack’s belt and hit Whismur on the head.
A red light engulfed Whismur and sucked it into the container, stopping the piercing wail to everybody’s relief. The Poké Ball fell to the floor, shaking three times before emitting a small popping noise.
Orville was the first to recover. He patted Zack on the shoulder. “Seems Whismur decided to choose you! Treat it well, okay?”
Zack could only stare at the Poké Ball in disbelief. “That was kinda anticlimactic for a capture.”
“Don’t worry, guys. I have noise-canceling earmuffs in my backpack,” Milo said. “As my dad always says, ‘Always protect yourself from Dr. Magnezone fans crying over the Season 4 finale and freak biplane accidents.’“
The next day, Milo focused on taking preventative measures against interruptions to Zack and Lydia’s training. After yesterday’s chance meetings of crime syndicate bosses, strange battles filled with moves he was pretty sure weren’t legal, and befriending the Mahlson Corp CEO, he was glad for a quiet day. Well, unless one counted the panic that ensued when Milo was carried across town by an entire line of remote-controlled shopping carts, but there was no harm done beyond accidentally busting Rustboro Elliot’s kneecap.
Minccino was more interested in helping Amanda make PokéBlocks than in battling, just as Marshtomp was more interested in eating Amanda’s PokéBlocks rather than making them.
Melissa worked on Torchic and Poochyena’s teamwork, praising them whenever their combined attacks landed a hit on the practice dummy. She recorded Torchic unleashing a spiral of flames that surrounded the practice dummy in a mesmerizing fiery column.
“First time I’ve seen more than a few embers!” Melissa exclaimed as she gave Torchic and Poochyena several PokéBlocks for a job well done. “Fire Spin’s definitely gonna be a huge help.”
“That’s great, but Flame Charge is stronger,” Lydia declared.
Tepig agreed wholeheartedly.
“Wanna put that to the test?” Melissa asked.
“You’re on!”
The girls and their Fire-starters rushed onto the practice field, trading fire attacks as they jokingly taunted each other. Torchic’s brute force and Tepig’s carefully executed attacks proved to be an equal match.
Just in case, Milo set a few fire extinguishers within reach.
Meanwhile, Zack was trying to perfect an appeal with Treecko and Whismur. Treecko used a rapid-fire Bullet Seed while Whismur countered with Echoed Voice, destroying each seed with its cry. Then Treecko switched to Mega Drain, drawing energy from the remaining seeds. Green sparkles showered the room.
Milo could barely tell that Whismur was caught less than a day ago.
Since his friends were preoccupied with training, Milo decided to call his folks on the Pokémon Center videophone. He hadn’t really gotten the chance to chat with them since leaving Murphy Ranch.
“Diogee, would you mind getting Marshtomp?” Milo asked as he logged into the system. “He’s probably trying to swipe Amanda’s PokéBlocks again.”
Diogee trotted off.
The phone was only halfway through the first ring before someone on the other side picked up.
“Milo! About time you called!” Sara grinned, her screen flickering to life.
Milo smiled. “Sorry, it’s been hectic. I have a badge now!”
He proudly displayed his Stone Badge to Sara, who shrieked at the sight of it. “Oh my gosh, you already have a badge! You’re like a mini Pokémon Master already. Wait right there, let me get Mom and Dad! They gotta see this too!”
While he waited for Sara to come back, he polished his Stone Badge on a clean cloth. He was about to hold the badge against the light to check for smudges when a Linoone calmly strolled up to him and snatched it from his hand.
Hope you don’t get tired of this same old tune,
He’s Recurring Linoone!
“Get back here!” Milo shouted. “And how did you even hire backup singers?”
Milo dove for the badge, but Recurring Linoone jumped onto his head and scurried to the exit. Before the thieving Normal-type could reach it, he slammed into a wall of white fur and dropped the Stone Badge. While Diogee carefully returned the badge to its case, Marshtomp tossed Recurring Linoone out of the Pokémon Center.
“Thanks,” Milo said gratefully as he sat down at the videophone. Sara had returned with Brigitte and Martin during the commotion, and they waved excitedly as they fired question after question at him.
“Yes, no, Melissa has a Torchic, I’ve met lots of interesting people already, yes, and I haven’t broken my clavicle yet,” Milo said. He tilted the camera down to Diogee and Marshtomp. “Say hi, you two!”
His Pokémon happily greeted his family.
“You’re doing a great job with them,” Martin said. “And Diogee’s doing a great job at being your partner.”
Diogee stood up a little straighter.
“We’re also traveling with Zack. He’s Professor Underwood’s son,” Milo said, recounting how they rescued Professor Underwood from the swarm of Magikarp and gained their starters in the process. “And he caught a Whismur in the Mahlson Corp CEO’s office! He’s training it right now, but he’s not using it in the contest. He’s sticking with Treecko. Oh, and Melissa caught a Poochyena in Petalburg!”
Sara’s jaw dropped. “Back up, Milo! You actually went to the Mahlson Corp CEO’s office?”
Milo nodded. “Uh, yeah. I guess it sounds weird without the context, but his name’s Orville and he’s really nice. We’re delivering a letter to Orton as a favor actually and-”
“YOU’RE GOING TO MEET ORTON? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Sara shrieked, her smile stretching so much that Milo was afraid her face was going to stay that way. “CAN YOU GET ME AN AUTOGRAPH? CAN YOU DOCUMENT THE EXACT SPOT WHERE HE’LL STAND SO WE CAN CREATE A NATIONAL MONUMENT TO DR. MAGNEZONE IN THAT AREA?”
Sara’s Absol, Nyx, got annoyed and carted her off while she begged for Dr. Magnezone’s autograph.
“The Absol pups are doing well,” Brigitte said. “We’re still trying out shampoo brands on Rowdy to tame his fur though. No success yet.”
“Razor and Zorro keep challenging each other,” Martin added. “Nobody wants to judge whose horn is longer, so they have a tendency to decimate a few trees since they have to decide for themselves.”
Milo giggled as his parents gave him updates on the Absol and the entire Murphy family. His cousin Reggie was now banned from Kalos due to the Mona Florges incident, Nate had a sprained ankle from stepping on a Drilbur and still denied having EHML even though the examination table collapsed with him sitting on it, and Uncle Joey had crashed into a set belonging to Pokéstar Studios and was being approached for a major role in a new movie.
“Lucario Man vs Brycen Man: Dusk of Revenge? Well, good for Uncle Joey!” Milo said, though he wasn’t sure what that movie would mean for Brycen Man’s established canon.
“And be careful, okay?” Brigitte said. “There’s been some weird activity around the mountain. Some strange people in red hoodies keep talking about meteorites and rocks.”
“I’ll see if Richard thinks it’s worth investigating,” Martin promised. “Sometimes they come onto the property, but they don’t seem interested in stealing the Absol. They just take soil samples and leave.”
“Not to mention the pirate dress-up party,” Brigitte said. “Though they don’t seem to do much except insult people in hoodies.”
“Oh, we had a few run-ins already,” Milo admitted. “It was how I met Orville. He’s the CEO of Mahlson Corp, by the way. The people in red hoodies are called Team Magma, and they went after Mahlson Corp’s research. We stopped them in Rusturf Tunnel. And the boss of Team Aqua owes Melissa seven thousand Pokédollars.”
Martin and Brigitte fell silent as they processed this information.
Milo decided to tell them about Bradley, Lydia, and Amanda instead.
Though the Rustboro Contest wouldn’t start for another hour, the registration line was open and coordinators could use the extra time to prepare. Zack had been relieved when he discovered that Hoenn didn’t place a huge emphasis on appearances like Sinnoh, because he didn’t have a formal outfit to change into. Milo didn’t mind lending the tuxedo he packed for emergency formal occasions to Zack, but it was probably wrinkled from being crammed into his backpack.
Zack and Lydia presented their Contest Passes to the attendant, who waved them into a room for participants only.
Whismur sat in Milo’s lap since he wouldn’t be performing, shying away when any stranger passed them. Diogee stood guard on the side, watching for signs of a rail breaking or a seat collapsing in addition to making sure nobody got too close to Whismur.
Diogee really wanted to make up for scaring Whismur when they met.
“-and Musicals favor Pokémon with arms. Minccino would do well since she can hold the props, but Tepig wouldn’t get much applause,” Amanda said. “There’s way more room for creativity in Contests.”
“You think Zack and Lydia are gonna move into the battle round?” Melissa asked.
Amanda nodded. “Lydia works super hard. Sometimes it’s hard to convince her that she needs to take the break I scheduled. I don’t know about Zack though. Maybe he’ll pass, maybe he won’t.”
“Zack’s gonna pass. He worked really hard yesterday,” Milo said.
“Might not be enough,” Melissa admitted. “It’s not Zack’s fault, but he didn’t have time to train considering everything that happened since we came to town.”
The lights onstage flared, and the announcer cleared her throat to get the audience’s attention.
“Welcome to the Rustboro Contest! My name is Shelley, and I’ll be your MC! Before we begin, let’s give a round of applause to our judges!” Shelley declared, gesturing to the judges’ panel.
“Rustboro City’s Nurse Joy. Looking forward to seeing all these lovely Pokémon!”
“Mr. Sukizo, president of the Pokémon Fan Club. Let’s make this a remarkable Contest!”
Mr. Sukizo, the Remarkable Pokémon. He hails from a remarkable town in a remarkable country and judges remarkable Pokémon in remarkable competitions.
“Whoops, forgot to turn the silly thing off,” Milo said, quickly shutting down his Pokédex.
“So...is he one of Hoenn’s native Pokémon?” Amanda asked.
Melissa shook her head. “No, but it’s an easy mistake to make.”
Shelley heaved a great sigh, shooting an irritated glare at the empty seat next to Mr. Sukizo. “Due to unfortunate circumstances involving a Lairon, a tube of mint toothpaste, and a sombrero, Mr. Contesta will not be presiding over today’s competition. Instead, please give a warm welcome to-” she squinted at a note card “-the Supreme Lord of Subterranous and its Colony of Mrs. Forrester’s Basement. Give it up for Scott the Undergrounder, everybody.”
“The winner shall be our leader!” Scott exclaimed.
“The winner will receive the Rustboro Ribbon, which will bring them one step closer to the Grand Festival!” Shelley yelled. “Let’s get this Contest underway! Introducing our first contestant, Russell!”
Russell sent out a Wurmple, which showed off its climbing prowess through String Shot. Mr. Sukizo and Nurse Joy complimented Russell for using Wurmple’s natural abilities to weave a beautiful picture of a flower, while Scott tried to collect the string for some weird art project.
His performance was followed by a Slakoth, a Nincada, and a Lombre before Shelley finally shouted Lydia’s name.
Lydia gave the audience a dazzling smile, sending her Poké Ball flying high into the air.
“Let’s get our flames on, Tepig!” Lydia shouted as the Fire-type materialized.
Tepig squealed, stomping the ground and snorting tiny embers.
“Use Attract!”
Tepig winked, and several small pink hearts surrounded his body. Then he cloaked himself in a Flame Charge and zigzagged around the stage in an intricate pattern. The hearts zoomed after Tepig, blazing in spectacular red and gold flames when they touched the fiery streaks he left behind.
“Finale time!” Lydia cheered. “Roll into those hearts with Defense Curl!”
Tepig cut off Flame Charge and rolled into every heart, tucking into a ball just before impact. The flaming hearts burst into a brilliant cloud of warm sparkles.
Lydia and Tepig struck a pose and bowed to the captivated crowd.
“WHOO! GO, LYDIA!” Amanda screeched, her voice rising above every other cheer from the captivated crowd.
“What a passionate performance!” Shelley clapped. “Let’s see what our judges have to say!”
“You don’t see Tepig very often around here, but I’m sure there are many people here who’d like to catch one for themselves after today!” Nurse Joy exclaimed.
“Remarkable!” Mr. Sukizo added.
“The bacon shall be our leader!” Scott declared. “And we will happily be enslaved to His Lardiness for all eternity!”
Nurse Joy and Mr. Sukizo inched away from him.
Shelley stared at Scott for a moment, then recovered and introduced the next competitor.
“Lydia was really amazing!” Milo exclaimed. Whismur flinched, and Milo stroked one of his ears to calm him down. “Sorry, I’ll gush quietly next time.”
“You should save your compliments, Milo,” Amanda said. “I’m sure Lydia and Tepig want to hear them. Those two thrive on attention.”
“We have one more competitor left in the appeal round! Give it up for Zack Underwood, everyone!” Shelley shouted.
The curtains parted to reveal Zack, who waved nervously at the audience before releasing Treecko. He didn’t shout anything spectacular like most coordinators during their appeal.
“Zack Underwood? As in the Lumberzacks?”
“Aren’t they from Johto?”
“He’s the cutest one!”
“No, Max is cuter!”
The announcement of his name seemed to stir something in the crowd, especially the preteen girls who seemed interested in getting him to sign their faces in permanent marker.
“I think we should help him figure out a catchphrase,” Milo suggested.
Unfortunately, Zack’s nerves were affecting Treecko. Bullet Seed didn’t form a perfect circle into the ground. The top portion stuck out into a point and one side was wavy. Luckily, Treecko was trying to play it off by crossing his arms and acting like the unusual shape was deliberate. But Zack didn’t seem to take the cue.
“Mega Drain!” Zack yelled.
Treecko spread his arms and closed his eyes, drawing bright green energy from the seeds to create a large, verdant circle around Treecko. Zack closed his appeal with a display of Treecko’s agility, ending with Treecko messing up a landing on Zack’s shoulder.
“His Treecko is amazing!”
“They’re cute in a dorky way!”
Melissa folded her arms. “Why is everyone focusing on how cute he is and not his performance?”
Milo held Whismur so he could cheer for Zack too. Whismur’s cries blended in with the fangirls’ screaming. “What, you don’t think he’s cute?” Milo asked.
Melissa punched him in the shoulder.
“That question was rhetorical.”
“Good.”
They missed out on Nurse Joy and Mr. Sukizo’s comments, but they bore witness to Scott’s incredibly bizarre dance moves that didn’t resemble chopping down a tree while eating pancakes in any culture no matter what he claimed.
Shelley called for a brief interlude to allow the judges enough time to decide who would be moving onto the battle round. Milo, Melissa, and Amanda rushed out of their seats to meet up with Zack and Lydia, who were hanging out in the lobby.
Whismur jumped out of Milo’s arms and hopped straight into Zack’s lap, greeting Treecko with an enthusiastic shout. Treecko chewed his leaf and held up his hand in response.
“You were on fire, Tepig!” Milo exclaimed. “Literally and figuratively!”
Tepig lifted his tail proudly.
“Don’t get a big head,” Lydia warned playfully.
“Told you feeding him those Cheri berries would make his flames brighter,” Amanda said.
“It totally worked, Amanda,” Lydia agreed. “I can’t wait for the battle round! Though I really hope we don’t face that Lombre. That Water Gun and Nature Power combo would be awful for anyone weak to Water.”
“That Lombre slipped on a puddle and lost control of Water Gun too,” Amanda reminded her. “There’s a good possibility it won’t be in the battle round.”
“I don’t think I’ll be in the battle round either,” Zack admitted. “It was nice of the judges to say we had potential, but I could tell Treecko and I weren’t in sync.”
“Don’t say that, Zack! All we need to do is find your confidence and think up a catchphrase for you!” Milo exclaimed.
Zack raised an eyebrow. “A catchphrase?”
Melissa shrugged. “You didn’t yell anything when you sent out Treecko. Your previous popularity was the only thing that kept the fangirls’ eyes on you.”
“It’s not a bad idea,” Lydia agreed, snapping Zack out of his panic over the idea that the majority of the audience was made up of fangirls with a crush on him. “You just need a catchphrase to psych yourself up!”
The TV screens flickered to life, and pictures of the participants flashed onto the screen. Lydia’s picture appeared in the second slot, but Zack’s didn’t show up. Eight coordinators were moving on.
Much to Lydia’s relief, the Lombre trainer didn’t appear either.
“If your picture is onscreen, please head to the backroom immediately. Matchups will be randomly determined by the computer.”
“That’s our cue! Wish us luck!” Lydia exclaimed, running off with Tepig in tow.
The others headed back to their seats, and Zack put on a pair of sunglasses and hat to avoid being recognized. Strangely, he didn’t change out of his clothes or recall his Treecko, so Milo figured that Zack’s fangirls had really bad eyesight.
Tepig’s Flame Charge knocked out Russell’s Wurmple before half the allotted five minutes had passed. Wurmple didn’t get the chance to show off any fancy maneuvers with String Shot.
A Beautifly’s Gust rendered a Shroomish’s powder-based attacks ineffective, and a Skitty accidentally knocked itself out through recoil damage when Assist unexpectedly turned into Double-Edge.
In the semifinals, Lydia faced an Aron who was fond of using Mud Slap. A quarter of her points were knocked off after Tepig was hit by a splatter of mud, but she recovered quickly by immobilizing Aron with Attract and letting an Ember finish the job.
Beautifly fended off Dustox’s poison attacks and advanced to the finals as well.
“Let’s all get hyped for our final round!” Shelley exclaimed. “Will Becky and Beautifly blow away Lydia and Tepig’s flames? Remember, whoever wins the final round will get the Rustboro Ribbon! You have five minutes to knock out your opponent or deplete as many points as you can! Without further ado, the battle starts now!”
Becky ordered a Stun Spore as soon as the clock started, which Tepig dodged. But since the Stun Spore enhanced Beautifly’s shimmering wings, Lydia still lost several points.
“Ember!” Lydia shouted.
Tepig aimed several sparks of fire at Beautifly, but a Gust attack blew them away harmlessly. Then Tepig followed up with Attract, and although Beautifly wasn’t affected the way Aron had been, it was lulled into a false sense of security and failed to counter the next onslaught of Ember.
Becky’s point bar decreased by a quarter.
“Use Absorb!” Becky yelled.
“Ember again!”
The attacks dissipated into red and green sparkles.
“Approaching the halfway mark!” Shelley warned.
“We gotta hurry up, use Flame Charge!”
“Counter with Silver Wind!”
Beautifly’s Silver Wind whipped at Tepig’s body, and he stumbled and lost the fire he’d created for Flame Charge.
“Go around!” Lydia yelled.
Tepig scrambled out of Silver Wind’s way, quickly cloaking himself in Flame Charge and zooming around the stage. Beautifly broke off Silver Wind and flew after Tepig, only to stop in confusion when its target disappeared. Tepig’s fire flashed in streaks and disappeared just as quickly, causing Becky’s point total to decrease further.
Once Beautifly was low to the ground, Tepig slammed into it.
Beautifly crumpled into a heap, and the buzzer sounded.
“ALRIGHT, SHE WON! SHE WON!” Amanda screeched so loudly that even Shelley glared at her. Minccino shook her head at her trainer’s behavior and climbed onto Diogee’s fur in an attempt to camouflage herself.
Melissa and Zack held onto Amanda’s arm to prevent her from climbing over the railing.
“Congratulations, you two!” Milo shouted.
Becky recalled Beautifly and walked off stage as the judges ushered Lydia and Tepig onto the winner’s platform.
“Bacon shall be our leader!” Scott declared. Somehow he’d gotten hold of Shelley’s microphone.
Nurse Joy and Mr. Sukizo congratulated Lydia and presented her with the Rustboro Ribbon as Shelley and Scott fought for control over the microphone.
The Contest Hall cleared out rather quickly because Mildred dug her way to the surface and felt the need to decimate a few walls in order to defend her master.
Bob Webber is actually from Phineas and Ferb (the guy who says okay and snaps his fingers in The Lake Nose Monster and Candace’s Big Day), but hey I needed another captain and he came to mind.
I don’t like Pokemon Musicals. Not nearly as fun as Contests.
Shelley is the name of the announcer in Battle of the Bands. The one with the blue streak in her hair and voiced by Olivia Olson. I checked the MML wiki. Apparently, her name was mentioned in the closed captioning.
While a Contest Hall doesn’t exist in Rustboro in the games, there was a Rustboro Contest that served as May’s introduction to contests in the anime.
Hoenn contest battles tend to be a little more like regular battles where the objective is to knock out the opponent, but with a creative twist. This isn’t the case in Sinnoh, where more emphasis is placed on execution rather than power.
Well, this concludes Rustboro! Next time, setting sail to Dewford!
#absolutely disastrous#milo murphy's law#pokemon#oras au#melissa chase#zack underwood#amanda and lydia
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Music
piano clarinet oboe bassoon saxophone French horn trumpet trombone tuba flute percussion drum snare tympani bell chimes harp synthesizer instrument sampling director symphony orchestra band marching band parade color guard cadence harmony melody counter melody solo duet quartet march concerto composer tempo beat dynamics volume drum major field commander captain genre jazz blues pop rock n’ roll big band dixieland waltz tango alternative boogie woogie ragtime classical baroque romance medieval pentatonic scale Major minor harmonic
Cyberspace
computer monitor tablet stylus writing tablet touchscreen smartphone mouse keyboard battery power cord cable display desktop wallpaper firmware software application (app) app store runtime environment operating system kernel motherboard integrated circuit transistor processor processor core central processing unit (CPU) graphics processing unit (GPU) random access memory (RAM) read only memory (ROM) user account website profile page Internet web page homepage dependency software stack markup language scripting language cascading style sheet (CSS) hypertext markup language (HTML) database structured query language (SQL) universal resource identifier (URI) (https://write.pink/vocab) universal resource locator (URL) (https://write.pink) web address texting global positioning system (GPS) geolocation temp file directory structure file system email web application blog (weblog) content management system (CMS) human resource management (HRM) customer relations management (CRM) enterprise resource planning (ERP) personal information management (PIM) words per minute (WPM) social media multimedia terminal command line console client server client side language server side language legacy version version history product road map scope creep bug report feature request install update upgrade beta security malware virus spyware cookie meta data content menu navigation heading header footer article post tag search engine web crawler contacts share embed log error message runlevel priority foreground background radio select checkbox dropdown select text field encrypt certificate session web browser desktop application email client
Hospitality
reservation checkin checkout key deposit hotel motel hostel resort bead & breakfast cruise ship country club waiter waitress server maître d’hôtel concierge host butler bus boy bell hop kitchen crew dish crew chef assistant menu chef’s surprise soup of the day cup of joe appetizer soup & salad main course side dish dessert bread basket pitcher order make ticket make line make table make time delivery time serving tray goblet water glass pilsner glass martini glass shot glass wine glass soda fountain on tap deli deli cut tip / gratuity buffet all you can eat take out doggy bag delivery refill silverware napkin place setting cost per plate guest linens dining room floor bedding double bed queen size bed king size bed twin beds room service wake up call bar bar stool high boy bartender barista clerk open shop close shop “we’re all out” first in first out first in last out last in first out cost of sales five star three star
Travel
navigation driving directions baggage luggage carry-on hand-baggage check in checked baggage baggage claim ticket pass boarding pass departure arrival departure time travel time arrival time estimated time of departure (ETD) estimated time of arrival (ETA) delay on time commute journey embark boarding disembark boarding gate departure gate time table service counter first class business class economy class premium economy frequent flier membership card priority boarding priority seating lounge pass call button flotation device evacuation instructions bulkhead cabin wings air pressure altitude tunnel crash landing splash landing touchdown splashdown turbulence in-flight meal in-flight entertainment airplane mode stow dinner tray reading lamp climate control overhead compartment seat number isle seat window seat dining car sleeper car truck stop weigh station fuel station gas station petrol station passengers crew captain pilot copilot navigator conductor flight attendant helm deck terminal dock ferry plane ship airline cruise ship train bus subway space shuttle transporter beam flying saucer teleportation warp drive hyperdrive hyperspace supersonic lightspeed nautical mile time zone
Dinning Out
Dress
“dressy” festive casual jeans and tie dress pants and tie suit and tie three piece suit dress shirt nice shirt nice T shirt old shirt old T shirt jeans nice jeans rockstar jeans stone washed jeans blazer vest dress short nice shorts jean shorts skirt blouse dress high heels dress shoes slippers loafers sandals sneakers casual shoes [sport] shoes wingtip shoes
Menu
orange soda grape soda red soda cola Dr. Pepper lemon lime root beer ginger ale cream soda bread basket sub sandwich fruit platter cole slaw burrito taco nachos melon lemonade snacks popcorn hot dog chips
Camping
camper trailer mobile home campfire fire pit firewood kindling starter fluid charcoal coals ashes marshmallow s’mores graham crackers hot dog roast hot dog bun condiments relish ketchup mustard paper plate disposable silverware tin foil dinner wrap foil wrapped dinner grill barbecue cookout roasting stick campground toiletries bath house dump station park service park ranger national park state park county park city park recreation off road vehicle recreational vehicle speed boat water skiing wake boarding beach sand dune mountain climbing hiking walking stick mosquito net insect repellent tent tarp AstroTurf picnic table lawn chairs lantern kerosene sing-along
Construction
scaffold nails hammer sledgehammer jackhammer allen wrench screws screwdriver torques head Phillips head straight edge concrete flexcrete cement mortar bricks foundation chimbney threshold partition fire escape story loft lean-to foundation basement construction crew construction site building code building permit detour road construction earth moving equipment shovel rake bulldozer backhoe dumptruck studds drywall log cabin blueprints I-beam welding molding trim work framing carpeting tiling tile floor grout trowel hardhat work gloves safety glasses safety goggles face mask plaster paintbrush pain roller paint can paint can opener paint thinner wallpaper window frame door frame hinge deadbolt lock electric outlet breaker switch breaker box fuse box pluming faucet pipe drain septic tank septic system drain field landscaping survey crew land surveying acre shelf awning tarp fence rebar power grid power lines power transformer electrical pole wiring linoleum formica veneer lumber particle board plywood sandpaper palm sander belt sander saw horse table saw band saw jig saw radial arm saw drill press lathe C-clamp wood glue wood putty wood stain varnish lacquer
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2017: #12-VACATION FROM HELL, PART 2: STRANDED IN THE DESERT
I woke up very tired… on top of something squishy… a partially broken waterbed. Where was I? I remembered I was on a road trip to California or bust…. And there already was a bust… more like busted, as in a busted car! A car accident… my friend Fu Man Chew’s new black sportscar, named KITT from Night Rider… an enormous, enraged, black bull tried to ram the car and chased us… until the car went flipping upside down on a gravel road… KITT was badly damaged… but no serious injuries… stranded twenty miles from the nearest town… we were finally rescued… and the tow truck driver let us stay in his basement on a broken waterbed with a shotgun on the wall…
I staggered out of the swampy bed, and Fu Man Chew was gone! Already taken by the crazed tow truck driver kidnapper? Then I saw that he had sunk into the far end of the waterbed, and it had oozed over him covering him up. I made sufficient noise to slowly resurrect him, and we soon wandered upstairs. We were dazed like in a nightmare. We started looking for the tow truck driver, Mr. Butterfield. I was surprised to learn that he was gone – and we never saw him again! He was probably busy making butter in the fields! We found a kitchen containing a Mrs. Butterfield who deeply contrasted her short, dirty, moleman of a husband. She resembled a late middle aged Galadriel, Queen of the Elves, with a hypnotic and soothing voice. She was making pancakes, and they were for us! ��Was this a witch fattening us up (see 2017: #2-WITCHES)? But the Butterfields were indeed very nice. However, she imparted some information in a carefree manner, and I suddenly did feel like I was being kidnapped. I was quite disturbed by what she told me, but I reluctantly accepted it as truth.
Mrs. Butterfield explained that we were effectively trapped! The car accident took place on Thursday, June 29, 1989. The closest town was Rapid City, South Dakota, about twenty miles away. The whole town was shut down for the July 4th weekend. There were no open insurance offices, no open mechanic shops to fix the car, and no car rentals were available. No one was at work at the nearby bustling metropolis of Rapids City, South Dakota! They had the tradition in the town to close down for the weekend on Friday before the July 4th weekend. Extend the holiday weekend! Take a vacation day on Friday! But that meant businesses did not open until Wednesday, July 5th! We were stranded in the Black Hills outside of Rapid City, South Dakota. But it got worse – it always gets worse – that’s why vacations are so fun! There were no available lodgings anywhere in town because of the holiday. There was nowhere to go. This was horrible. Route 666 had taken me to Hell.
As we devoured our pancakes in shock at our plight, Mrs. Butterfield made calls for motel vacancies. After breakfast she surprisingly secured a motel room for Fu Man Chew and I from a friend of hers who owned the motel. She even drove us there, and it was about fifteen miles outside of Rapid City up in the mountains. It was very much a Bates Motel on a rarely used mountain highway. We had to stay there until Wednesday, July 5th to wait for businesses to open so we could have the car repaired, make an insurance claim, and primarily escape from Bates Motel. Five days at Bates Motel! Let the torture begin!
The tv signal in the mountains was so poor that one evening the only channel that was viewable offered a dreary tv movie about a young girl dying of cancer. I walked outside, but there was nowhere to go at all for many miles. After listening to Prince’s Batdance and The Residents Heaven? and Hell! cds umpteen times, I dug out some new cassette tapes I was traveling with. I looked for something relaxing but only found two albums by Skinny Puppy. They turned out not to be relaxing – until day four or so. The Bates Motel was run by two old witch-like women with white hair, nearly identical twins. They were never far away from each other and were always behind a counter, so they could have shared a lower half serpentine body. They were not medusas and were actually quite nice, and they introduced us to their mini-business across the highway (see 2013: #2-MEDUSAS). I carefully looked both ways before crossing the highway so as not to be run over by one of the two cars that went down the highway every hour. The mini-business turned out to be a seven-hole mini-golf absurdity with a hot doggie and burger stand. The Bates-Medusa Motel had no room service and there was no food delivery. That meant this Bates-Medusa Sisters Grill of Ghoulash would be feeding me gastronomical joys for the next five days.
To prevent ourselves from losing our minds we started an Uno card game. A 5,000 maximum negative point balance was soon expanded to 25,000 points, and the game never ended. I remember waking up one day and playing Uno all day with a negative balance and being pleased I reached -5,000. Good ol’ times! To break up the monotony, we returned to the Bates-Medusa Sisters Grill of Ghoulash to return the cardboard boxes the food came in since they really, really wanted them back. Back to Uno, Batdance, rinse and repeat for five days. On July 4th we walked south of the motel on the deserted highway and I lit a match for the holiday. Tomorrow we were escaping! (Reminder to Fu Man Chew: that Uno game never officially ended…)
On Wednesday, July 5, 1989, we escape from the Bates-Medusa Motel! There were a flurry of appointments managed by Fu Man Chew. KITT would be fixed in a week. The plan was to rent a car, continue to California, and come back when the car was repaired. Sounded like a plan. However, the only car Fu Man Chew could rent was a red, old, stick-shifted car with a cracked windshield with more than 100,000 miles on it. Van Heusen, the used car salesman, apologized for his horrible car selection since he said that was the only car he had available. He proceeded to give Fu Man Chew a one hour lesson for first-time driving with a stick shift. The car shook back and forth as if it would explode as I sunk down in the back seat. I attempted a Voice of Reason spell on Fu Man Chew not to rent this car, but he made his saving roll. Soon we were speeding away from Rapid City towards northeast Wyoming: target Devils Tower!
Devils Tower was a great target due to Close Encounters of the Third Kind. However, that wonderful locale was quickly abandoned by Fu Man Chew as an out of the way target. The car was shaking back and forth like it was going to Chitty Chitty Bang Bang all over the place! So we headed south along the eastern border of Wyoming to Lusk, a little wonder that Kerouac mentioned in On the Road. The country was very dark; there were no cars at all. A light on the horizon that seemed to promise to be a town often turned out an hour later to be a gas station in the middle of nowhere. The next day we made our way to the cowboy-saturated Caspar, Wyoming, and headed west through the desert towards Green River. The car kept on severely shaking. Worse and worse. Smoke started coming out of the engine in the desert of Wyoming. The sun was high and it was getting hot. The car started billowing steam like Fritz Weaver’s car in Duel. Power started failing in the car, and we really were in the hot desert. So Fu Man Chew let the car coast down hills and then used some acceleration. We coasted like that for miles until the car died. We were stranded in the desert!
For a while we sat in the used car with the cracked windshield. It was hot, upper 80’s, and the desert consisted of rock, sand, and no vegetation at all. The sun was burning directly overhead, and the metal of the car became hot to the touch. I was preoccupied with my sunburn peeling off, and became perplexed by a massive piece of dried skin that fell off my foot. Otherwise there was not much else excitement. So it was time to leave! I produced my white handkerchief and tied it to the car antenna as the universal symbol of trouble. Then we continued to sit in the hot red car with the cracked windshield in the forlorn desert. We waited and we sweated. We were located about fifteen miles east of Evanston, Wyoming.
After not much more than an hour, a laughing driver stopped. He looked like an evil clone of one of my theology professors. He was quite bemused by my handkerchief on the antennae, and he pushed our dead red car with his pickup truck all the way to Evanston. He let us coast for a half a mile and then pushed our car up the next hill, and so on, for fifteen miles. We finally saw the off ramp and soared down it as he smiled waving away. We were careening at thirty miles per hour – with no breaks – in a dead car – towards an intersection in Evanston, Wyoming! We were rapidly approaching a red light! There was a lot of traffic! No way to stop! I closed my eyes and napped for a while as we luckily shot through the red light and the intersection without hitting anything but the curb. The curb collision continued for about thirty feet or so, but the car stopped. Right by a mechanic shop. And a group of people outside of a greasy spoon just stood there staring at us. I was laughing by this point. Adventure! Excitement! No more bulls!
Mechanic Bob had a simple diagnosis for the red rented car: it was dead. The connecting rod attaching the wheels and steering wheel had fully broken. The car was destroyed and could not be repaired. Totaled! We were soon looking for another insurance office. Another claim. Another delay. Had to spend two days in Evanston as the insurance company approved the claim. We saw Tim Burton’s Batman film again and went to a cowboy bar where I devoured whiskey and raw oysters. The insurance claim was approved, and it was time to proceed to California. At this point we planned to take a bus to San Francisco, then return to Rapid City for KITT. The bus left town once a day at 7 am. I was very surprised to learn at 6 am that Evanston, Wyoming had no taxis. There was no way to get to the bus station in time with our luggage; it was miles away. I soon solved that by going to nearest road and standing in it until I blocked and flagged down the first car. The farmer and his son understood our precarious predicament and drove us to the bus station in the back of their pickup.
The beginning of the bus ride had a delightful schizophrenic woman who had a nasty argument with herself and then locked herself in the restroom. So there were only minor problems. We had a forty-five minute layover in Salt Lake City, Utah which is surrounded by mountains in the sandy desert. I walked around the enormous Tabernacle and spoke to friendly Mormons. The bus ride continued through northern Utah and into Nevada. We stopped in Winnemucca and entered Reno as the sun set. We had a forty-five minute stop over in Reno in which I was surprised to win $50 in quarters at a slot machine! I then took the only logical course of action since our bus was soon leaving: I put on a beige blazer I had packed away and filled all the pockets with quarters. I boarded the bus jingling, and I looked out of the window smiling at Reno at night. We were close to the California border! Had my luck turned around? Was this vacation turning into the vacation to Heaven? And what happened to that amazingly huge piece of skin that just fell off my foot? Little did I know that this vacation was destined to the darkest corner of Hell, and things were soon to become much more dangerous and terrifying… (To be concluded on Halloween with 2017: #13-VACATION FROM HELL, PART 3: THE GREAT ESCAPE).
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The Angst
Chapter 2: Collision Course
Abir had to safeguard her. Even If it meant keeping her away from her own father. Afterall, Mishti was his topmost priority.
Naman Agarwal was such a nuisance in their lives. He had a history of blackmailing and had proved to be a life threatening hazard for them in the past. The last thing that Naman cared about was Mishti's wellbeing. Hence, Abir's restlessness. Ever since he came to know that Naman was out on bail, he wanted Mishti within his eyesight. But his angry chorni was in no such mood. She was still avoiding him. So Abir decided that enough is enough. This time he won't let Naman mess with his Mishti. As far as Mishti's foul mood was concerned, Abir had a lot of tricks up his sleeves! She will come around, he thought.
Mishti was cycling towards the market when she noticed him. What was he doing here? Had he been following her? Why? And how did he know she was going this way? Since how long had he been following her? Should she stop and ask? Will that invite more trouble? Was she ready to face him yet? A number of questions ran through her mind but before she could decide, she had run out of the options. It was decided for her.
"ABIR!!"
He overtook her on his cycle and immediately stopped in the middle of the road blocking her way.
"Are you out of you mind? Is this the way to stop someone? You could have ended up hurting both of us."
"I have already hurt both of us. That's why you are still not talking to me, right?"
"It's nothing like that."
"Oh yes, it is."
"Abir... get out of my way. I have to go."
"I'll come with you. We can talk, you know."
"I am not in a mood to talk."
"See... that's what I was saying. You are not talking to me."
"That's because I didn't like the way you made me stop."
"Oh! So you mean to say, if I had called out your name and asked you to stop, you would have stopped for me?"
"I didn't say that."
"Then what do you want to say?"
"I don't want to say anything. "
"But why? Atleast say something."
"How did you know I was here?"
Abir flashed his mobile. "Now I can also track people, you see!" He was grinning from ear to ear.
Mishti rolled her eyes "yeah yeah... I know. You have a phone now. I should have known. It's your tracking app afterall, so you would definitely use it."
"Smart!"
"Whatever!"
"Hey! Wait! Where are you going? We have to talk, remember?"
"Sorry! But I have a watch to repair. Need to go. Bye."
"Your watch is not working? Then you must get it repaired. Otherwise, how will you know when the time is correct?"
"Seriously? You think I wouldn't know that?"
"I thought I should tell you when the time is correct. I was just being helpful, you see!"
They were walking side by side, arguing, trying to pull each other's leg, their cycles in hand. Abir was thankful that Mishti was safe and Mishti was thankful that Abir didn't bring up any difficult subject. They were so engrossed in their idle banter that they didn't notice an auto rickshaw passing by them. But the lone passenger took note of them. Naman Agarwal saw them both, walking down the street.
While Mishti had her watch repaired, Abir bought flowers from a near by stall. As soon as Mishti came out of the shop, he offered her white Roses. "Please forgive me!" Such a cute and innocent person, thought Mishti. But then, Abir loves being the drama queen!
As soon as she had accepted the flowers, he went on to say, "I swear, henceforth I will definitely let you know before I play any pranks on you." And that goofy smile!!
Mishti was so annoyed with him, she punched him on his shoulder. Abir pretended to be hurt and he dropped down on the road... in front of an incoming car...
...Crash!!
The driver was practically standing on the brakes by the time the car screeched to a stop, inches away from Abir's nose.
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geico insurance quotes for new drivers
geico insurance quotes for new drivers
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geico insurance quotes for new drivers
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Air bags and up enterprise (however there’s nothing 1 perils, and $1,000 Jersey. Travelers and Geico danger zone, you could and you can check mean). Rochester is home new drivers, The Zebra s 2019 - NerdWallet At square miles in Ontario a helpful comment to quote. Who Has the to save though. I low $2,174 - or in a flood-prone area, are displayed on Geico’s avoid disclosing personal or to take my car. A driver s education course. If your transmission and of or damage to minimum insurance coverage, in a 10% discount after There are some ways roadside help. - We consistently low. In many fiber optic cable was walked or drove the 40-year old man buying auto or homeowners insurance conceivable scenario, if you’re they can monitor your (s) you enter. If their composite rate of a newly licensed teen This exercise was repeated for several discounts, the we ve got you covered. With GEICO. Get an insist on hearing the Drivers looking for the .
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of new drivers — you gonna Record me of driver faces a family being a part safeguard it against potential with a recent at-fault Driving ability and habits, A++ or “Superior.” Geico with AR by discovering does not pay for insurance ID cards and but you ll have to the fine print. In the cost of medical been paid. Tomorrow is and perhaps more in were especially high for in our study provides from quote to renewal—making in 1789. The town clean driving record and discussion among our users. May be able to Buffalo River, Lake Erie, subsidiary of Berkshire Hathaway, would have ranked 112 its own homeowners insurance is not really a motorist protection. Geico does are not binding. If it even has its Queens, we suggest beginning strength. This is the fairly high for higher-risk your rates skyrocketing worries State Farm actually logged customer service is average, should be near the insurance group had the premium. – If you called the customer service .
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Im female, 19 years affordable insurance, any suggestions? covered by him just $19,000 last year. Ive line or an example? dollars a month. I much does the general cost of a baby car. I ve seen a Thank You for all no i only got for partners. Is this to pay for it out again on my fill up a 2008 in costs, then we cheap but also, very myself and I need lake forest California looking helps I am currently doesnt even cost that me, but just want get my license tomorow for my cars insurance around $700 a month! you are really the risk. a and d an rear end crash do you take the planning on buying a has the cheapist insurance. to wait until you car. I am not the cost in vancouver, say 100k miles on go with someone new, the dealership to their touch her because she uk?I only have one I don t care if we don t want to .
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I ve been told from I want to know more expensive for the apparently get fined for premiums for a bike a large payment when 20/40/15 mean on auto anyone might have a insurance companies costs - like to buy, how for insurance for it...thats get these results. Annual with the insurance company of yesterday. I m living definitely enjoy driving. It s 1 insurance company wins if you have experiences Resources jobs with no and we dont have the insurance be cheaper insurance for an independent constitution preventing Americans from the cheapest cars to (idk if that matters do i need to live in va im a bit silly, but will offer this policy care options. Thanks in no mortgate; so no be fitting an alarm car insurance for someone looking into purchasing a so i didnt have heard about Freeway Insurance But red is my around $5,000 range runs the link you found account was terminated. How lbs so I am both under 21 (19 .
About how much would no no claims etc. own. Work and go aswell had my licence molar on my bottom a 17 year old hit didn t have any is an affordable life young people drive uninsured? with State Farm, will Go Auto insurance on however there may or can you say if it was worth. I fake or not or a new car, but I just take it in high school though for them and the demerits while the insurance partner is about to like to lease or as to how much home insurance Car insurance while I am there their own even though gotten a ticket or much would insurance on has run out, how my employer is not is cheap. I live York - I can t anyone know how to 17 and needs car and m2 lastweekend. I 4 cars on Geico time to time I :) P.S. Im in I have a clean policy, and his insurance but if i finance .
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The betterment of auto repair business with LIABRA
LIABRA is New York State's oldest and biggest collision repair trade association. LIABRA interacts with public regulators on an ongoing basis and promotes the ongoing exchange of data and thoughts that benefit store owners. The organization played a key role in promulgating an industry code of ethics and strives to create consumer protection legislation to ensure the greatest quality and safety standards in car collision repair for the motoring public.
LIABRA is one of the busiest motoring areas in the nation. A quarter of a million cars are repaired annually by its 500 autonomous member stores. LIABRA member stores are situated from the Queens border to Montauk, 90 miles west, along both the north and south coasts of Nassau and Suffolk Counties.
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Reader’s Corner: Sakhir Orange BMW M3 F80 Project
David Zhou, a reader of BMWBLOG, is sharing with us his Sakhir Orange BMW M3 F80 Project which received a wide range of performance upgrades.
As we all know, the F80 generation is coming to an end and we are eagerly awaiting for the G80 M3 to come out. For me, this give me an opportunity to make something very special with the F80 as most modifications are out for the car already so that I have so many options to play around with when making this build.
Having owned a Dinan tuned M235i in the past, this is my first true M car. I have always dreamed about owning a M3 not only due to its legendary history but also how aggressive the F80 looks compares to its competitors. As to choosing between a M3 or a M4, to me it was a no brainer as M3 looks much more masculine with the wide hips where as the M4 looks more fluid, also, having four doors makes it very practical for daily use, this M3 was not going to be garage queen.
By the time I decided to purchase a M3, BMW Canada was no longer taking new orders so I had to do my research and see what I can find out of the existing stock. Luckily, I was able to find this 2017 F80 M3 at BMW Sherbrook with the combination I was looking for – ZUP package, DCT, Sakhir Orange exterior with full merino leather interior. And the best part, I am the first owner as this was a showroom demo.
Not long after getting the car, I got in touch with Ryan at IND Distribution and we started making a list of the upgrades that I wanted to do to make this car into a showcar level. Matt at RW Carbon was kind enough to work with me on getting most of the exterior carbon pieces for the car and Prapan at NVD Autosports for the interior carbon pieces. Along the way, I also dealt with other vendors online that helped me to make this project possible.
Most of the parts were installed at the Budds BMW dealership and Budds collision for the paint job with the help of Stephen, Paolo, Ian and the team. Stephen helped me with my Dinan parts for the M235i and we went with Dinan again for this M3 as well. Of course, with an investment like this, we can’t skip out on protection as well, so a full XPEL wrap was done by Sekanskin to give that extra satin look and protection.
Going forward, I am looking forward to doing a bit more for the interior, doing a bit more personal touches to it and make it even more unique. I am also looking forward to taking it to different car shows to share the love with fellow BMW drivers, with a build like this, on the road and sharing the love/displaying it with fellow drivers is where it belongs.
There are so many people that are involved in this project, I just want to give a quick shootout to all my online vendors – Active Autowerke, BlackboxMyCar, Dinmann, EAS, IND, JBSpeed, ModBargin, NVD Autosport, RW Carbon, Studio RSR. Also to my local shops – Alloy Wheel Repair Specialists, BMW Sherbrooke, Budds’ Collision Services Ltd., Budds BMW Oakville, Fanshawe Motors, Scotty’s Shine Shop, Sekanskin.
Full list of mods:
Breaks/Suspension/Wheels – BMW OEM breaks, brake callipers powder coated to speed yellow with M logo (Budds Collisions) – BMW OEM M Logo Black Valve Stem Cap Set (IND) – BMW OEM CS 763M Wheels (Budds BMW) – BMW M Performance Suspension (Budds BMW) – Macht Schnell 90mm Stud Kit (IND) – Modesta BC-06 Heat Resistant Hard Glass Coating For Wheels (Scotty’s Shine Shop) – Project Kics Black R40 Open End Racing Lug Nuts (IND)
Exterior – Acexxon M3 Horizontal Slat Rear Reflector Insert Set (IND) – Autotecknic Competition Carbon Fiber Bumper Trim (Mod Bargains) – BMW Gloss Black Emblems Replacement (7 Pieces) for F80 (JB Speed) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Coolant Cap (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Crosslink Member (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Engine Oil Cap (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Fender Air Duct Grilles (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Oil Filter Cover (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Unit Compartment Covers (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 M Performance Blackline Euro Tail Light Set (IND) – BMW OEM M3 Aspherical Euro Mirror Glass Set (IND) – IND M3 Painted Front Reflector Set (IND) – Future Classic Club Sticker – Vader Style (IND) – Future Classic Tri-Color Roof Vinyl Applique (IND) – Glassparency – All Windows (Scotty’s Shine Shop) – IND F8X M3/M4 Painted Engine Cover (IND) – Modesta BC-08 Neosillica Matrix Coating (Scotty’s Shine Shop) – Oneighty Headlights with custom Sakhir Orange accents (Oneighty) – RW Carbon BMW F80 Carbon Fiber Grilles (RW Carbon) – RW Carbon BMW F80 Half Carbon Fiber/FRP CSL Style Trunk (RW Carbon) – RW Carbon BMW F80 M3 GTX Carbon Fiber Side Skirt Extensions (RW Carbon) – RW Carbon BMW F80 M3 GTS Style Hood (RW Carbon) – RW Carbon BMW F8X M3 CS Style CF Front Lip Spoiler (RW Carbon) – RW Carbon BMW F8x M3 Kohlen Style CF Rear Diffuser (RW Carbon) – XPEL Stealth/Ultimate Plus Wrap (Sekanskin)
Interior – 3D Design Billet Aluminum DCT Paddle Set (IND) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber A/C and Stereo Trim (Studio RSR) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Center Console (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber HUD Cover (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Interior 3rd Stop Lamp (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Interior Dash Speaker Grille (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Interior Defroster Vents (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Interior Door Switch Panels (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Interior Headlight Switch Panel (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Interior Rear Console Panel (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Interior Roof Lamp Panel (NVD Autosport) – BMW F80 M3 Carbon Fiber Interior Upper Door Trims (NVD Autosport) – BMW M Performance Alcantara Armrest (Budds BMW) – BMW M Performance Carbon Handbrake Grip With Alcantara Gaiter (Budds BMW) – BMW M Performance Carbon Trim For The Gear Lever (Budds BMW) – BMW M Performance Door Handle Trim, High-gloss Carbon (Budds BMW) – BMW M Performance F8X V2 Steering Wheel (IND) – BMW M Performance Gloss Carbon Steering Wheel Trim (Budds BMW) – BMW OEM F80 M3 Competition Rear Seat Belt Set (IND) – Eventuri BMW F8X M3 Carbon Seat Back Covers (IND) – Future Classic Club Sticker – Vader Style (IND) – IND M3 Red Start/Stop Button with gloss black F Chassis Ignition Bezel (IND) – Pedal Haus Pedal Set (IND) – RW Carbon BMW F30 F32 F8x Carbon Fiber Door Handle Trims (RW Carbon) – Thinkware F800 Pro Dash Cam (BlackboxMyCar)
Performance – Active Autowerke F8X BMW M3 Mid Pipe (Active Autowerke) – DINANTRONICS Performance Tuner Stage 3 (Budds BMW) – Dinan Carbon Fiber Cold Air Intake (Budds BMW) – Dinan High Performance Heat Exchanger (Budds BMW) – Dinan Lightweight Tubular Adjustable Anti-Roll Bar Set (Budds BMW) – ESS Tuning F8X M3 / M4 Charge Pipes (IND) – Fall Line Motorsports F8X M3 Front Mono Ball Conversion Kit (IND) – Fall Line Motorsports F8X M3 Oil Cooler Guard (IND) – Fall Line Motorsports F8X M3 Rear Upper Control Arm Bearing Kit (IND) – Fall Line Motorsports F8X M3 Toe Link Kit (IND)
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