#College professors got pissed when I brought up that it was fanfiction

[lawbreaker13]

My favorite assignments in school were always the ones that were like

“Demonstrate a proficient understanding of the characters by writing an original story that could take place within or after the events of the book while maintaining and/or developing all proper character development as demonstrated throughout the story”

Like ma’am

That’s fanfiction

You’ve asked me to write fanfiction

[omgviolette12]

After Hours - Chapter 6 A professor Loki fanfiction

Previous Chapter

Summary: Evelyn Monroe has been a TA for professor Laufeyson’s Calculus course for four months now. He was known to be quite strict, but that never deterred her from applying for the position in order to be close to the man she had been secretly pining for. One evening, she returns to his office after opening hours… and with her bountiful luck, she walks in on something not meant to be seen.

Chapters: 6/?

Words: 2200

Warnings: Explicit sexual content

Tags: @milkymaidme @dangertoozmanykids101@alexakeyloveloki @little-moonbeam-666  @marvel-ous-fics@clovermariear@lynnesm@bitchyikes@moon-child-of-a-poet, @allthecraftandthings@bubblegumspitt @shockwavee @blondekel77

If you’d like to be added, let me know. I’ve also posted this on AO3

____________

You have not an inkling… of how long I've staved off the temptation of having you beneath me. Across my desk, and at the mercy of my cock.

At the mercy of my cock…

At the mercy of my cock…

Currently, Evelyn sat dazed in a bathroom stall as the filthy words from her professor echoed repeatedly within her mind.

She was not sure how to wrap her head around over what transpired. How could she, when the cold and untouchable professor Laufeyson, whom she secretly liked, practically dry humped her into oblivion?

Well, technically they weren't dry - but the concept still stands.

She could still remember it clearly, his disheveled appearance before she ran away in a panic. Due to how wet she was when he pressed against her, his white dress shirt had gotten wet as well. The material stuck to his body, revealing a tease of the lean, muscular figure underneath. His tie was off to one side, and his ruffled hair further accentuated the wild look in his eyes.

But the one thing that drew her attention the most was the prominent, impressive bulge that tented his pants.

Now there was no doubting it. At this point, she'd be an idiot to believe that her professor held no interest in her. However, his attack on her body came so suddenly that Evelyn did not know her next course of action, so she sat on the toilet endlessly pondering.

When she saw him next, did she act as if nothing happened? Was he interested in a relationship with her despite her status as a student? Or did he just want to use her for sex, as Candice suggested? And would sex with him be...rough?

She had just gotten a clear handle that he may not be a gentle lover - and that scared her all the more, especially considering his size.

Evelyn was a stone cold virgin. She was afraid to put in a tampon, much less the monster that currently nestled within her professor's pants.

Evelyn clutched her head in frustration, before sighing dramatically. Since she didn't know much about sex in general, she probably needed to do some desperate soul searching on porn hub and spankbang once she got home.

Evelyn eventually exited the stall, moving to stand before the mirror. In her haste to get away from professor Laufeyson, she ran straight from his classroom to the bathroom at the end of the hallway, hopping straight into a stall.

She neglected to check her appearance in the mirror at the time, so Evelyn couldn't help but gasp when she saw the current state of her neck.

"Lord have mercy…"

The right side of her neck was mottled with purples and reds, the hues deeply saturated against the brown of her skin. She was not one to bruise easily, so such a sight was shocking.

Evelyn lifted a hand to gently trace the bruises. As she felt them, she could once again feel professor Laufeyson's lips on her neck. She remembered the pain as he sucked against her skin, then the sensation of overwhelming pleasure that followed immediately after.

She could still feel his large hands on her body as he groped and squeezed her breasts, her butt, her thighs, her hips - just thinking about it brought back the throbbing to her lower regions.

Although what he did was essentially sexual assault - and against a student even, Evelyn was ashamed to admit that although she was scared...she also liked the rough handling of her body... especially coming from him.

She did not know what any of this meant. Wasn't she supposed to hate being treated so...roughly? Being manhandled?

Even with the strong infatuation towards her professor, this incident should be a glaring red signal to run the opposite direction.

In any case, Evelyn knew she couldn't walk around campus with blatant hickies across her neck, and Candice would definitely have questions once she got home.

So when she reached for her purse to cover the bruises with makeup, needless to say, Evelyn began to fret.

Because her purse was nowhere in sight.

She looked inside the bathroom stall, then on the floor, but nope. Nada. Gone.

She really, really did not want to go back to the classroom to check, especially after she had just ran away.

But her purse did not only have her make-up, but the keys to her apartment, as well as her wallet. She could only hope that he left the purse in the classroom, so she could get a janitor or something to open the door for her if it was locked.

At this thought, she gained a bit of hope.

Before she left the bathroom, Evelyn dried her dress underneath the hand dryer for a bit, before tying her jacket around her neck in an attempt to cover the bruises high and close to her throat. She looked a bit silly, but it was better than nothing.

She definitely received some weird looks from her fellow peers as she transversed the hallways of the science department like a spy agent; tiptoeing, peeking around walls, etc. Just to avoid a run-in with professor Laufeyson as she made her way to his classroom.

She became even more vigilant as she got closer to the classroom door - she looked left and right before standing on the tips of toes to peek into the lecture hall for any sign of her purse, and the professor she desperately wanted to avoid.

Fortunately, he wasn't there - but neither was her purse. That only meant that he took the purse with him, the worst possible scenario.

Frustrated, Evelyn began to curse fervently under her breath, and kicked uselessly at the door.

"The hell are you doing?"

Evelyn spun around so fast, she nearly fell backwards from the dizziness.

"Oh my fucking...Andrès! You damn near scared the holy ghost outta me!"

She placed a hand on her chest to calm her thumping heart as she addressed her friend, Andrès. Although they were in different departments, they had developed a close friendship during their foundation years of college, during which they took several classes together.

"Ha! Well, I ain't mean to. What're you doing here though?"

He then squinted his eyes as he pointed to her, "And why the jacket around your neck?"

Evelyn rolled her eyes, attempting to act natural. She was internally panicking, and moved to subtly adjust her jacket, "It's fashion, dumbass. And I just lost my purse."

As she looked at him, her eyes slowly began to shine as an idea began to form.

"Hey...Andrès. You got a class right now?"

He eyed her suspiciously, "...In like, thirty minutes. Why though?"

Evelyn put on the softest, sweetest voice she could muster, " Uhm...could you stop by professor Laufeyson's office real quick? I think I left my purse in the classroom and he has it with him and... I'm kinda in a rush to do some really important stuff right now. Could you like, pick it up for me, pretty please?"

Andrès looked as if she suggested that he jump off a cliff, “ Oh hell no! I skipped morning class today…”

“... I get that. But come on bro, you still owe me twenty dollars from when we went to Wendy’s. I'll forget about it, deal?”

“Twenty?! It definitely was like five dollars-”

“- Yeah yeah whatever, are you gonna help me or not?”

Andrès crossed his arms, “Man, I don’t know. He’s really gonna skin my ass...”

“Alright, here’s what,” Evelyn stepped closer, resting a hand on his shoulder, “Get me my purse, and I’ll treat you to tamales one of these days. How’s that?”

At the sound of tamales, Andrès' face split into a big grin, "You better! Even if I don't get it, you're still buying me food."

Seeing his grin, Evelyn couldn't resist smiling as well, "Ha-ha, sure. Hurry before your class starts, and thanks again. You're savin' my life here."

She stepped closer to give him a side hug in parting, "Just drop it off in my studio - I should be there doing some work."

"Aight, you bet."

At his confirmation, Evelyn happily skipped away with a light heart.

She just wasn't prepared to face professor Laufeyson, so she hoped Andrès follows through with his promise.

_________

"...What did you just say?"

Evelyn stopped midway through her painting to address Andrès, who stood outside the opening to her studio.

After she had asked him that favor, she went across campus to do some work in the art department. She busied herself with painting for several hours, waiting anxiously for Andrès to drop by. When he finally came, however, he was empty-handed with an extremely bitter expression.

"I said, he wants you to come get it yourself. He wouldn't give it to me. On top of that," Andrès' voice raised by a margin, his skin turning red, "He failed me for the entire fucking semester!"

Evelyn could only gape at him in shock, "Oh…"

" Oh? Oh?! That's all you gotta say?!" Andrès turned around to exit the studio, storming out. It took a few seconds before he ran back in to say one last piece, "You owe me much, much more than tamales! And I ain't helping your ass again." With that, he finally walked off.

Evelyn could only lean down in her stool to place her face in both hands, before whining despairingly, "Oh shit…"

She honestly should've sucked it up and asked for the purse, because she was now sure that professor Laufeyson was pissed for whatever reason - and she didn’t know what that meant for her, or her chastity.

Evelyn left the art building with a heart filled with anxiety, making her way towards his office expecting the unknown. Would he… pounce on her once again? If he did, she wasn’t sure her poor heart could manage.

It was pretty late in the evening, so the science department was pretty scarce, with the exception of those taking night classes.

As she walked to the door of his office, Evelyn couldn’t help but think of the time she spent with Laufeyson, and at what point her mysterious professor could’ve possibly developed an interest in her.

Now that she was thinking back, it was as if every little thing he did in the past gained significance. The extra tutoring sessions, their casual conversations - not to mention waking up on his lap. That should’ve been an obvious one, but at the time Evelyn’s low self-esteem insisted that it meant absolutely nothing.

She now came face to face with the door. Evelyn closed her eyes, and took several deep breaths to steady her beating heart. She raised her hand in a sudden jerk to knock before she chickened out, and waited with bated breath for his voice.

A voice that did not come.

Confused, she waited for several seconds before knocking once more. But silence was all that greeted her.

Did...did he already leave?

Evelyn felt half relieved, yet disappointed at the same time. Secretly within her heart, she wanted to see him.

During the hours when she was painting, various scenarios went through her head of what would happen between them in his office. They were all extremely sexual in nature - and that scared her. She never so much as thought about sex previously, but it was if he was the catalyst to all things dark within her heart.

She saw herself being harshly taken on his desk, the couch, even the blasted wall - and she could barely even concentrate on her work as he invaded her thoughts to a frightening degree.

Evelyn still stood aimlessly in front of his door, now at a lost. She rested her head against the wood, sighing to herself.

Why do I want him to treat me so roughly? It’s...wrong.

“Now, why would it be so wrong?” Evelyn froze as the voice of her professor sounded from directly behind her, his body heat warming her back.

"You're... you're here…" Her voice was quiet and meek, shocked that she said her thoughts out loud, and that he had heard them.

"That I am. Thankfully, I hadn't wandered far," Evelyn flinched slightly when she felt him touch her shoulders, but he merely moved her aside to open the door, "You're here for your purse, aren't you?"

He acted strangely normal as he entered his office, expecting her to simply follow.

His behavior was so confusing...was he acting as if he didn't just maul her hours earlier?

She entered the office cautiously, eyeing his back as he shrugged off his suit jacket.

Without looking behind him, he issued a simple command, "Close the door. I'd like our conversation to be private, if you wouldn't mind."

Evelyn would much rather have the door open. But when he turned around to give her the look, she reluctantly turned around to close it.

Once she did, he then began to speak, " Firstly, I'd like to apologize," he nodded towards her neck, "I did not expect you to mark so easily."

That's what he's apologizing for?!

Evelyn removed the jacket from around her neck, gaining the confidence to speak, "With all due respect professor, w..what you did earlier..um - it wasn't appropriate and, I'm not sure what you want from me -"

He raised a hand to silence her, "I understand, and I apologize for my actions. However,"

His expression was serious and stern as he said his next words, "I would not hesitate to have you again, writhing against me."

Evelyn was flabbergasted at the words that just left his mouth.

"...What...what do you mean by that - "

Her sentence was cut short when he made a step towards her, "To put things bluntly,"

Without warning, he grabbed at her waist to press her against him, chest to chest to whisper in a sultry manner, "I want to hear your sweet voice screaming my name repeatedly, as I fuck you against my desk."

Well... that was pretty blunt.

_______

A/N: Hey guys, the campers arrived and it has been SO HARD trying to find time to read, write, etc. because being a counselor is a full-time endeavor - from 7 in the morning, till 12:30 in the night. I finally found some lee-way, but there may be some grammar errors. Nonetheless, until next time!

[waitinginthedarke]

It Consumes Me

A BTS/Kim Namjoon Fanfiction

Summary: The minute he laid eyes on her he knew she was the one. But love is a battle of the mind and the heart, and when the voices in your head start winning, how can your heart possibly compete with a choice that consumed you before the very start…

Type: Angst/Love

Disclaimer: This story contains strong themes. Should a chapter be potentially triggering, it will be stated beforehand. (This chapter, is simply filled with fluff, with minor reference to strong themes.)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

Chapter 4

You could feel your phone vibrating for the billionth time in your pocket as you sat in your 4th class of the day, teeth grinding as you wonder what it was that your dad could be angry about this time, wishing you hadn’t pissed him off this morning.

Nervously looking around, you take the lifeline that everyone was silently studying to catch the professor’s attention to signal that you were going to the bathroom; with a barely susceptible nod of his head, you had bolted out of the door and across the corridor to the bathroom. Your hand shook as you took your phone out of your pocket, yet the second you see the caller id on the screen, your body floods with adrenaline and without hesitation you’re pressing answer.

‘Hello?’

‘Y/N? Are you okay?’

He sounded panicked. That was odd.

‘Uh…yeah…yeah, im in the middle of class though.’

‘Oh, im sorry. I-..You-..you just hadn’t responded to my text. …and I accidentally slept in this morning, so I haven’t had time to ring you back-‘

Taking the phone away from your ear momentarily, you see the message about your missed calls he was on about, frowning in annoyance at your own lack of awareness, before holding the phone to your ear once more.

‘-Y/N?’

‘I’m so sorry, Namjoon-ah. I’ve been in classes all day and I was just so focused on studying at lunch that-‘

‘Hey, y/n…calm down, its okay. …I was just-…what did you call me for this morning? Did you need me for something?’

His voice was calm and reassuring, with only a hint of concern lingering around the edges, the sound pulling your heart into a tumult of guilt as you think back to that morning and remember exactly why you’d called him.

‘Uh, yes…no, its fine now. I just…I ended up having to walk to college cause I couldn’t get a lift from my dad and I was just really upset--…actually it was really selfish of me to call you in the first place- I’m sorry for worrying you.’ You explain, skirting around the fact that you couldn’t get the metro because you didn’t want to waste money on the fair…and that really you’d only rang him because you’d wanted the comfort the sound of his voice brought you after your argument with your dad that morning.

‘Hey! You have no reason to be sorry,…I’m just sorry I couldn’t answer the call. I would have done anything to make you feel better…’

There is a breath of silence as you both imagine the feeling of being together again, the mutual thought floating through the phone and the overwhelming emotion that came with the feeling has you grappling for the sink to steady yourself.

‘…Hey, listen- are you doing anything later?’ he asks suddenly, breaking you out of your thoughts, and you open your eyes to see the tiles of the bathroom floor swimming before you as you draw in a breath, struggling to recall your later plans.

‘I-uh…I’ve got to go study at the library-‘

‘Would you mind if I came to see you? I’ve got a bit of time after seven…and I kind of really miss you.’

The statement was so timidly… bold. If you closed your eyes you could imagine the look on his face as if he stood before you there and then...- and that was all the incentive you needed.

‘Please.’

It wasn’t the word you’d wanted to say, and you could tell it was slightly awkward by the gentle chuckle that resonates through the phone from him, but its that same noise that has your shoulders relaxing again despite the distressed butterflies cascading around your stomach.

‘I’ll be there as soon as I can.’

The excitement of having his presence before you quickly bring’s your attention back to the present moment and you remember that you had to go back to class; a sad yet anticipatory goodbye later, and you’re back in your seat with your professor side-eyeing you due to how long you’d been.

----------------

‘Hey, do you wanna go for a walk, Namjoon-hyung?’

After visiting the flower shop earlier that day during break practise and storing the bouquet he’d bought in a hidden crevice by the recycling bins at the dorm, Namjoon had gone back to rehearsal, before finishing for the day and finding himself as he did in that moment; at the desk in his room feigning interest in a song he’d been playing around with for the past few days.

He was contemplating the best way to surprise Y/n when Jungkook had peeked his head around the door to his room, the beady eyed gaze of the younger guy boring into the back of Namjoon’s head causing him to quickly change his train of thought to how he would let his friend down easily without giving anything away.

‘Not right now, Jungkook.’ He murmurs, flickering his eyes over the screen before him as he dismisses him, believing that since he technically hadn’t given any excuse at all, he wasn’t lying to him about not wanting to go out.

‘Ah…okay…’

He’d thought that would have been it, the simple dismissal usually being all it took to evade one of the other guys, but after a moment or two of silence in which the light from the door continued to spill into the room, Namjoon realized that Jungkook still wanted something.

‘Is everything okay, Kookie?’

Its only as he turns his chair slightly so that he could see his friend, that he takes note of the deep in thought look on his face, slyly sitting to attention as he does so and watching Jungkook inquisitively.

‘I…Hyung, I’m going to ask you a question, and I really hope you don’t get mad at me cause I’m just concerned.’

Well, that wasn’t what he’d been expecting.

‘O-ka…y…’ Namjoon responds, narrowing his eyes at the other guy as he watches him enter the room fully and shut the door behind him, appearing to try to compose himself before speaking.

‘Who are the flowers for?’

Oh.

Namjoon watches his friend for a moment, eyes boring into eyes as his brain works over time to search for an out to the question.

‘What flowers?’

Wow, genius, Namjoon- evade a question with another question; brilliant ide-

‘The flowers you bought at the florist earlier and hid behind the recycle bins.’

…well fuck.

He pauses for a moment, eyebrows slowly pulling in as his thoughts turn from what to say to escape this line of questioning, to why Jungkook knew all this information.

‘Jungkook…have you been following me?’

It was that question that tipped Namjoon off, or more specifically his friends reaction to it; the slightly widened eyes, the immediate glances around the room, the fiddling of his fingers as he begins to stutter.

‘ah, no. I was just-…I was just concerned, cause- well because you haven’t been yourself lately…and-‘

‘What do you mean, ‘I haven’t been myself’?’ Namjoon presses, feeling his jaw tense as anger and confusion rolls into his belly, his logical side dismissing it immediately as his friend just being concerned about him, but a small part of him continues to fight against this line of inquiry…the jealous part of him.

‘You’ve just been more distracted than usual…but more excitable too, almost hyper in practise, and yesterday and today you were just so eager to finish practise-‘

‘Is it a crime to be excited for practise to be over? You know its not my favourite thing, Jungkook-‘

‘Yeah, but Namjoon-hyung, that still doesn’t explain the flowers-‘

At that point, Namjoon had had enough; in his mind, he knew he couldn’t and wouldn’t argue with his friend, and the clock behind the younger guy’s shoulder was only counting down the minutes faster till the time he’d said he’d meet y/n, and so pushing himself to his feet he gave in with a sigh.

‘You’re that concerned? Why don’t you come and meet who they’re for. But, please…please Jungkook-ah…I need you to promise me something-‘

God, he was going to hell for this.

‘- you can’t tell the others.’

-----------------

If you were being honest with yourself, not a single word on any page that you’d read for the past three hours had entered your mind, let alone settled into your memory. It had gotten to the point that you’d put earbuds in to try and block out any external distractions, but that had in turn just left you with your thoughts, and your imagination; …his hands holding your own, stroking up your arm, fingers curling around your waist, breath hot on your neck.

You cant help the loud gasp that escapes you when you suddenly feel the weight of a palm on your forearm, snapping your eyes open and twisting your head almost to the point of whiplash, before your mind registers the face in front of you that your mind had done no justice to in its feeble imaginings. It’s a moment of watching his lips move and hearing a dull mumble as you stare at him happily, before you realize you still had your ear buds in, and instinctively you hold your fingertips up to his mouth to stop him as you quickly tear the little rubber pods from your ears and proceed to grin at him as you place them on the table next to you before lowering your hand to allow him to proceed.

But in the manner that you’d already realized was only ever going to be his, he refused to let your hand leave his lips before he pressed a soft kiss to your fingertips, a shy smile creeping out from behind your palm on his lips as he brings your hand down to hold it in his lap.

‘Hello, beautiful.’

Those two words alone were enough to send a shiver racing down your spine, stomach contracting in want as you drink in the sight and feel of him, ears practically ringing happily with the welcome tones of his voice that were the first thing they were really hearing in hours.

‘Hey.’

The squeaky, almost whispered greeting was all you could manage with the way you felt so dizzy in his presence, not paying any attention to the goofy grin that was taking over your face as your mind completely forgets about your school work in exchange for honing all senses on the angel before you.

‘My goodness, I forgot how heavenly you were. …I’m sorry for scaring you, I just had to say hello before I let you get on with your work. Actually, first-‘

The way his lips pressed so surely against your own, his scent filling your lungs and dispersing itself around your body, drags you into him without the help of his hands that automatically reach out to pull you that tiny bit closer. Your hands were already reaching up to pull lightly on the collar of his shirt by the time his palms come to rest on your hips and without a thought you find yourself sinking your teeth gently into his bottom lip, pulling a light moan from him that has you both freezing in your motions as it echoes down toward the end of the library.

‘Oops.’ He mutters against your lips, and you quickly detach your mouth to smother your giggle in his chest, the noise traversing into a hum as his arms slip around you to crush you close against him, clouding you in his warmth as his lips settle a kiss to the top of your head.

‘So what are we studying tonight?’ he murmurs, the feel of his head turning to the side so that he could peer at your textbooks pulling a pout onto your face as you sense the end of the cuddle, regretfully pulling back as you read the title to him.

‘The fragmentation of identity in modern Japan.’

‘huh…nothing too deep then?’ he comments sarcastically, winking at you when you side eye him, and you can feel your cheeks immediately heating in response.

‘Its for my literature class; we’re currently studying Murakami.’ You explain, shuffling some of the papers that you’d been writing on around your desk as you try to force your brain back into the paper you’d been writing, remembering some jumbled theory of an Oedipus complex revival that lay in the hidden depths of the writer’s words.

‘Ahh…I vaguely remember reading ‘Norwegian Wood’; a meaningful writer, but not as philosophical as some of the stories I enjoy getting lost in.’ he murmurs, the comment contradicting his motions as he begins to pull your copy of ‘Burning’ towards himself and you watch his expression sink into interest whilst his eyes glide over the page. Until that moment he’d always exuded a feeling of cool, calm, collected business man come fashionista, but you couldn’t help appreciating the scholarly air that rolled off of him as you inspected his side profile whilst he read the book; taking in the defined curve of his jaw as he clenched his teeth in concentration, the way his eyebrows drew in as he processed the movements of the characters, these little details being washed from your focus as his thumb begins to rub gently over the backs of your fingers where his hand had come to sit around yours.

‘Your hands are cold.’ he mutters off-handedly, reaching his free hand up to turn the page before absentmindedly finding your other hand and enveloping them both in his grasp, rubbing his thumbs gently in circles to create warmth, the move being so caring that you feel your chest swell happily with emotion.

You leave him for a few minutes, simply allowing him to get sucked into Murukami’s deceptively indulgent words and watching him wistfully as your mind rolls out the billions of future possibilities your life could take on if it allowed you to stay with him.

‘I’m sorry, I know I’m not meant to be distracting you, I just couldn’t help myself.’ He says guiltily when the end of the chapter suddenly blocks off his progression into the rest of the story, his sudden awareness of himself amusing you so much that you lean over to press a kiss to his shoulder before removing one of your hands from his and reaching up to save the page, closing the book promptly afterwards and drawing his attention back to you as you smile up at him.

‘Whats that face for?’ you ask him, frowning when you see the curves of his face contorting into concern and worry, and what appears to be a hint of sheepishness.

‘Well firstly, I have a surprise for you.’ He starts without hesitation, his concern turning to a cheesy grin – with a tiny hint of embarrassment- before he motions for you to stay put, climbing up from his chair swiftly and bolting off towards the stairway, leaving you looking after him puzzled. He’s barely gone for a minute before he’s re-emerging, this time with a poorly concealed array of flowers held at his back.

‘You’re aware I can see those flowers behind your back right?’ you call quietly to him, not bothering to keep your voice quite as quiet as you should after realizing that you were one of the very few people in the library that evening – save the nerdy-looking guy that always sat in the corner-nook at the other end of the bookcases, using the computers as a means to up his score in starcraft.

‘Well pretend you cant until I show you.’ He complains sweetly, the frustrated whined tone in which he reprimands you causing you to conceal your laugh behind your hand, before resuming an oblivious expression to appease him, inwardly smiling as you watch him amble toward you whilst trying to compose himself, coming to a stop at the side of your chair as his face transforms into one of distracted happiness.

‘Y/N, I’ve wanted to do this for such a long time in my life; to find someone that I can do this for, and it makes me the happiest person in the world that I’ve finally been given the chance not just to do it, but to do it for someone I already know is…and will be for a long time… irrevocably important to me. So…’

His speech alone was enough to bring a tear to your eye, but the way he crouches down to your level as he brings the bouquet into your line of sight, presenting them to you by reaching for your hand to help you gain a good hold on them and keeping his grip warmly on you, has you biting your lip to choke back the tears, looking back at him after allowing your eyes to roam the lilies and roses, and chrysanthemums, and feeling a tear roll down your cheek as you laugh at your own emotional state, pulling the flowers out of the way slightly so that you could crash your lips to his.

The robotic voice in your mind that was overly conscious of your basic instincts couldn’t help compare the moment to that morning; when your father had driven away from the house and left you crying on the door step, expression completely free of concern over the fact that he’d left you locked out with no easy way of getting to school on time other than by running as fast as possible.

The tender caress of Namjoon’s hand on your jaw as his lips moulded themselves to fit yours so exactly, like your mouths were made to kiss over and over for centuries to come, had more tears streaming from your eyes as you clutched at his neck, not wanting him to ever leave his place in that moment; not wanting time to move forwards or backwards, but to stay put in that moment forever.

‘So, you like them?’

Your need for him in that moment had you wanting to smother his words with your mouth, your fingers crawling into his hair never wanting to leave, but the voice of reason in your mind, had you pulling back the most miniscule amount so that you could greet his eyes with your own, offering him a sad, yet simultaneously ecstatic smile as you nod your head gratefully at him.

‘They’re beautiful.’ You whisper, inspecting them once more, so consumed in the gentle, yet bright colours before your eyes, that you start a little when you feel his thumb come to swipe across your cheeks, wiping away the tears you’d shed.

He doesn’t say anything when your eyes lock onto his timidly, his expression seeming thoughtful, but no questions being raised as he leans forward once more to touch one last gentle kiss to your lips, before standing up and leaving the flowers in your grasp.

Its at that point that he seems to brace himself, and you feel tension fill you in reaction, waiting for whatever he was about to bring to the table.

‘I’m glad you think so. …Okay-‘

‘Namjoon, what?-‘ you go to ask, becoming uneasy with his stalling, before getting distracted by a new figure entering the library, and you narrow your eyes slightly as a white flag raises in your mind, your distant memory recognizing him in some way.

‘I wanted to tell you before I came, but I thought it was best to give you the flowers first as that was my original plan.’ He begins to explain, appearing a little frustrated by the unfolding events, and you frown in concern as you watch the figure come to a slow stop beside him, looking almost awkwardly between the two of you, despite his gaze lingering on you a little longer, and more curiously with each glance.

You remain silent as your brain processes his words and the appearance of this new guy, eyes grazing over him inquisitively as a multitude of resolutions begin listing themselves out to you in your head, but none of them filling the slot of explanation that your mind had set up ready as to why the guy was there.

‘Y/n, this is Jungkook.’ Namjoon begins, addressing you, but keeping his gaze locked on you as he switches stances, slipping into the seat beside you once more and reaching for your hand as a content, almost happily bemused smile creeps onto his face, and he addresses the other guy.

‘Jungkook, this is her…

...this is y/n.’

(T.B.C)

[loftyperch]

Endgame Review/Rant (huge spoilers)

Call me a cynical bitch, but I brought two travel packs of tissues and only needed one. Not one pack. One tissue. Am I disappointed that I didn’t bawl my eyes out? Yes. Yes, I am. Am I weirdly looking forward to seeing it again? Also yes. 

(EDIT: Saw it again and liked it a lot better the second time through. I think part of my initial dislike was the stress of expecting every moment to wreck me, and then not getting wrecked. Once I knew to expect a more lighthearted action-adventure, I was able to just watch and appreciate it for what it was.)

First, the bad news: I thought the pacing was choppy, and the time travel made very little sense. I was laughing and cheering and getting a little dewy eyed with the rest of the theater, but the continuity errors completely took me out of several key moments. Like, was that Pegasus in a pokéball this whole time or do they just breed them in Norway? And if past!Nebula used those Pym particles, then how did they shrink the ship?

And I have nothing against sloppy bear Thor, but they should have made him look more like Odin and less like Volstagg when in armor. Also it felt like his Endgame arc kinda undermined all his growth in Ragnarok … but whatevs, ppl regress sometimes. I can live with it if I grit my teeth.

I’m hella pissed that Widow got fridged (although I kinda liked that she died one-upping Hawkeye, lol). Where was her funeral? And I found Professor Hulk deeply unsettling. Good for Steve for staying in the past and all, but I always pictured him and Peggy kicking ass together, not slow dancing in their boring af house *shrug*

These are all annoying choices on the part of the writers/producers/directors, but they are nothing I haven’t had to deal with before in the MCU. Whatever character development we had in the last movie will be undone in the next. The women get treated as motivation for the male characters and as afterthoughts for the writers. The villain is back to being kinda lame. I’ll rant and whine and rail about how the MCU done me wrong … then I’ll keep on stanning Marvel forever because it’s one of the most interesting fictional universes out there, and because I can always take comfort in the classic comics and EMH and, of course, fanfiction. 

That is to say that Endgame falls somewhere in the middle of the MCU for me. Imho, it’s not nearly as well put-together as Black Panther or Ragnarok or Iron Man or Winter Soldier, but it’s a zillion times better than Age of Ultron or Doctor Strange or The Dark World. And it was a very good “passing of the torch” to the next generation of heroes. Part of my problem might just be that Infinity War was so emotional and subversive and fascinating that Endgame couldn’t possibly live up to it. At least now I have a sense of vaguely-disappointed-closure and am in a much better headspace to write fanfic than I have been in a long time (like ... since Civil War). A weight has been lifted, and the motivation is there to fix what I disagreed with.

Second, the good news: Despite my previous complaints, it was a rollicking, balls-to-the-wall adventure. I laughed a lot, and there were many lovely, touching moments. There was some high-quality Stony stuff, some arresting visuals, and the final battle was all the best kinds of epic. Ant-Man was great, Rocket was great, Nebula was extra great, and what little we got of Loki was delightful. 

America’s ass! I love you 3,000! Cheeseburgers! Scarlet Witch! Captain Marvel! Instant kill mode! I made it for you! Liar! There was no shortage of catharsis or badassery or quotable lines.

The “women of Marvel” moment felt super-forced, even a tad condescending, but I just can’t bring myself to dislike it. They just kept coming. And it can be read as a tribute to Tasha, which gives me the warm fuzzies. And that headbutt! Gonna be stoked about that for days. Lol, you thought, Thanos.

And, most importantly for me, who has loved Iron Man for over 20 years, this was a pretty good ending for him. He didn’t have to see all his friends die. He didn’t have to prove anything. He just had to do what he does best.

His journey has come full circle; from fighting the Dude, to calling Thor “Lebowski.” The end.

[thisismycursed3rdblog]

Thoughts on “After” (2019)

Sorry I'm going to be 12 for a moment "Hardin" hehehehehe

Omg this voice over...yeah I can tell this use to be fanfiction (btw nothing wrong with fanfiction I write it just not about real people)

There's just...after.....TITLE CARD!!!

I question Tessa color scheme like everything is very washed out

Why did the mom sit in back of the car?

Steph's actress is very pretty also her look is great (maybe minus the earrings but they just aren't my style)

Tessa and Noah look related are they?

No one would talk like that in front of someone's mom they just met

"thanks I got it from the GAP" ....-_-

How to show that the mom is over protective....make her the worst from the start

Oh is Noah her boyfriend. ...ok then

Steph vapes.....you know she cool now

Same Steph Noah comes off as brother not boyfriend

"who brings books to college" is my school weird because everyone does??

You know if Tessa falls in love with some who is "bad" I think Steph would be the best option

I'm not judging her clothes because I don't dislike them but going a little heavy on the good girl vibe...

Who is new boy so far he seems nice .... Landon is his name

How did her clothes get so wet from where she put them

Ok her room is small she would have definitely notices him when she walked in

Hardin (hehe) you are being an ass

Also random British man in a movie where so far no one else is British

....what book you reading Hardin

Steph so far the best in the movie and no that's not just because I think she's attractive...yes it is

Oh it was The Great Gatsby. . They are right that is a good book

....I'm only 10 minutes in oh dear

At least Hardin is polite to people who work in the coffee shop

I can't stop looking at his eye brows

Steph / Tessa the couple we deserves

The song playing is called "Say Hoe" amazing

Steph kissing a girl....I wish that was me

Zed.....I wonder who you are based on sir... hmmmmmmmm

I wonder is Molly is supposed to be a bitch? *She said sarcastically"

Zed actor looks familiar *pauses movie*

Oh shit that's Joe from Glee

Being a virgin isn't really a big deal ok ...she just got out if highschool not like she's 35 and still a virgin

"oh sucks to suck"....-_- -_-

She didn't want to kiss you Hardin no reason to have such a pissed off face ....you don't even like her ...I think

Also Noah stop being so judgemental

She had literally a mouthful of vodka ...that's not like drinking really

Oh look a union jack ....wonder who's room this is maybe the one British man in the movie

 Tessa that's not your room ....stop touching other people's things

 Are you looking for something.....you drunk ....like what that wasn't a weird question to ask Tessa

Who wrote this movie like what

Good Tessa even if your boyfriend is a dick don't cheat on him with another dick

How did Hardin get on the roof

" I'm disappointed in you" oh fuck off...

He told her mom she went to the party....what Noah you suck

Noah so far the worst character

They really want to show off Hardin's tattoos

Hardin talking about books is annoying me as an English major ok

Oh look at me I'm Hardin and I'm so edgy with my thoughts on classic literature

I don't think either of them really read pride and prejudice

Oh course Landon and Hardin are kind of like step brothers

Steph best character!!!

Does Hardin only own black shirts and ripped jeans ( I mean same)

Hardin having a sudden change if heart....I don't trust this

Oh she just decided to go with him....why?

This seems like a very long drive

Bring her to the woods? That's not creepy at all ...oh wait yes it is very

He's wearing all black and she's wearing all white ...you aren't clever movie

Did she forgot that she hated him like yesterday

Ok this lake scene is a little cute

Nice doesn't not mean boring ....that's a red flags  ...run Tessa run

With different music this movie would be a horror film a swear

Don't kiss.....well now they're kissing ....stop it

This kiss scene is edited kind of strangely

These actor don't have the best chemistry not sure if that's the acting or the fault of the writing 

Let's see how long this movie plays before they have sex

You still have a boyfriend Tessa

This so far the most normal scene in the movie...this burger date scene

Also now I'm hungry

You said you didn't believe in love you edge lord

How did those guys know they where there

Also Molly why you such a bitch ....does she do anything else but be a bitch

Also Tessa just left her burger ... wasteful

Hardin you were almost a nice person for a full 15 minutes

This isn't Avril Lavigne singing ...sad (complicated is playing btw)

She just woke up and Hardin is in her bed staring at her ...I hope this is a dream.. this is creepy

You're here isn't the reaction one should have

Oh good it was dream

Dump Noah... please Tessa he's the worst

Hardin got his pissed off face again...

This scene went 0-100 very quick

Like was Jace being creepy....I think he was but it went by way to quick

I like Tessa bike

I'm confused.. that's right Tessa what happened

YOU CANT BE MAD AT HER BECAUSE SHE HAS A BOYFRIEND AFTER YOU BLOW HER OFF LIKE A DICK!!!

So he has daddy issue

This boy is like a yo-yo he keeps going from one extreme to the other

Red flag ....so many red flags

And they are kissing again

So Hardin is a dick to Tessa makes out with her like once and only nice to her when it's just the two of them...and now they are having sex.. ok then

Also like 51 minutes into the movie btw

Did they have sex ...maybe I don't know ....everything is filmed weird in this movie

How did he get there so fast

Also this break up scene is Tessa best scene acting wise just saying

Steph has a cute little music note tattoo

Steph/ Tessa the only ship I support

When did Hardin get her number?

Do Noah and her mom have like weekly chats or something

Oh now she's talking to Hardin....is she no longer mad at him...ok then 

Oh time for a backstory...I see

You barley know Hardin .....I don't get how she fell in love him

It should not be that easy to sneak into a building

Also you couldn't read to her in like your room on your bed or something

I kind of dig this movies soundtrack not going to lie

Ok Hardin jumping over the entrance and Tessa just talking through was funny I'll give them that

Oh this is they in love part of the movie I see

Like these two could be really cute if not for any other scene in this movie that involves other characters

Wait now are they having sex for the first time?

GET BETTER AT EDITING YOUR MOVIE PLEASE!!

Uugghh the mom showed up

First her daughter's not a kid anymore and like it's confusing we haven't seen her skip class or even do badly in school so I don't get where the mom is coming from at all

You can't make your daughter break up with her boyfriend

Ok yes Tessa tell you mom off....please she needed to hear that

Tessa did like nothing and her mom wants to just cut her off... I take it back the mom is now the worst person in this movie

Landon why are you in this movie....you haven't really done anything at all

"oooh she paint's" I don't know why that made me laugh

This relationship is moving very fast....they now live together or want to

Also I pretty sure his plans just living at another person house and hoping know one finds out

All these scenes look like they were just shot for the trailer

Not this again.....when did the first time happen

There's like 35 minutes left.....how long till the big break up or fight . .only for them to get back together at the very end

Wait his father's not British?

They really didn't want anyone out side of Hardin to be British

Oh now his dad's a drunk....why is this only being brought up now

I keep thinking one of them are going to fall in the pool

FALL IN THE POOL FALL IN THE POOL

Wait is this their first time having sex

I'm going with yes? Maybe

Ok so sex is definitely happening this time

Also wear protection ...at least movie promotes safe sex

Ok I love the look of that bath tub

Molly can all she do is be a bitch to Tessa

Hardin you better not be dating Molly

Also Tessa don't go snooping around in his phone 

Jace....still creepy

Blind bobs? ...ok

Steph best person ....she's just a good friend

Tessa just be with Steph she'd treat her right

Oh Hardin no please

Hardin.... nooooooooooooo

Hardin you fucker

Like I kind of saw it coming up still Hardin no

Slap him Tessa do it do it

Or just leave that works too

Also we got like 16 minutes before the movie ends so let's see how long till the get back together

I mean they shouldn't because not cool Hardin

Did she just leave....doesn't she have school

At least her mom isn't being a bitch at the moment

Now she's going to talk to Noah....just say your sorry do not get back with him ....he's still a dick

Still into this soundtrack

Oh here mom stop cutting her off that's good

I hope her and Steph make up and stay friends

Be sad Hardin you dick

Also why are all his books so nice looking

10 minutes almost done

So Tessa is following her dreams and Hardin is sitting on a roof sad....again ...ha

A professor can't just give other students work away ....also why does the professor know it was for Tessa

What even was this final project

Darcy and Heathcliff are very different characters and stories I'm just saying

There making a sequel so I'm guessing ending means it's going to work out in the end

Fade to black

[merlevum]

Hetalia Fanfiction - Shoulder To Sleep on Ch 2

Summary: Matthew Williams commutes to college every day. On his way home one day, a certain Prussian ends up falling asleep on his shoulder.

For outside links please click here. There will be links to AO3 and FF.net. 

Previous | Next

Chapter 2:

Pacing back and forth in his small bedroom Matthew sighed for what seemed to be the hundredth time that day. It was Friday, the day he was supposed to meet up with Gilbert, but the hoser had yet to send a text message about a time. There were so many things Matthew wanted to say about the whole situation, but mostly he was just miffed at himself for actually getting his hopes up. It wasn’t like this was a date or something, it was just supposed to be a get together for Matthew to help Gilbert with his coding.

Checking his phone one last time, he tossed it on the bed, deciding to do something else for the rest of the afternoon. If Gilbert had forgotten, Matthew was not going to remind him. Leaving his room, Mathew went straight to the kitchen where Alfred sat on one of the bar stools, his upper body lying on the counter.

The two lived in a two bedroom apartment. Their neighbours varied from different parts of the world, including Francis from France and Arthur from England. The two were constantly fighting about something, but were some of the best people to go to for advice on life situations. On the other side of Matthew’s apartment lived Kiku, from Japan and Yao from China. Kiku normally played video games or read comics with Alfred, while Yao usually shared tea and sweets with Matthew and Arthur at times. The rest of the apartment was made up of other people from different parts of the world, which meant it was never a dull moment. Unless of course half the complex had mid-terms they either had to study for, or grade, in the case of Arthur who was a professor at the local community college.

“What’s wrong Al?” Matthew asked, heading towards the pantry to see if they had anything to make pancakes with. It was something he could eat all day, every day, and never grew tired of.

A grunt came from the general direction of Alfred before he shifted slightly. “Bored and hungry”

“Yeah? I’m making some pancakes and bacon”

“Great! Make me some too!” Alfred sat up straight and watched Matthew gather the materials to make pancakes. “Wait, you’re making bacon with it? You usually only cook bacon when you either apologise for something or you’re pissed off about something.”

“Still can’t cook for yourself?” Matthew glanced back at Alfred with a playful grin.

“I can cook better than Arthur that’s for sure,” Alfred said with a shrug of his shoulders before both snickered for a moment. “Although he bakes rather well. But hey! Don’t dodge the question. What’s going on?”

“So I’ve heard. He’ll have to—”

Matthew’s phone sung a song from Frank Sinatra as he stood mixing the batter for pancakes. Giving Alfred a pleading look, Alfred scooted off the bar stool to grab the phone. Matthew wondered who it could possibly be, when Five Minutes More stopped playing and Alfredo greeted the caller he was ready to pour the batter into the pan. It took another minute or two for Alfred to return.

“Sure, he’s just making pancakes. Hold on.” Alfred held the phone to Matthew’s ear as Matthew continued watch the pancakes, lest he burn them.

It was nice to live with someone who had essentially grown up with each other. There was no need to ask if they could hold up the phone while cooking, or to do something for them when they were busy. Alfred and Matthew had always been close cousins, from having close birthdays and celebrating them together, to visiting each other during the summer holidays. It was only natural for the two to end up going to college together; their parents were delighted since both would keep the other out of too much trouble. Matthew was taken on for the hockey team and given a full ride scholarship, while Alfred got in playing soccer mostly along with his excellent testing scores. Alfred had found the rather cheap apartment, but forgot to mention how far away it was from the college, but since the bus fare was free, neither complained too much.  

“H-Hello?” Matthew asked, wondering why Alfred had not told the other who was on the phone.

“Ah! Matthew, you have no idea how hard it is to get a hold of your phone number. Do you? You need more friends who have it I swear. Listen, my phone was murdered yesterday by some crazy accident that involved me climbing a tree to save a bird. Why did you never text me? Wait, don’t answer that I got a different number anyway! First off can I come over to get some help with my homework? I know it’s kind of late, but I really could use the help.” It was hard to understand every word over the phone with Gilbert rushing and his rather thick accent.

“Wait, you were in an accident? Are you alright?” Matthew asked, Alfred looked a little concerned at the phone. He mouthed the words is he alright to Matthew who only shook the hand with the spatula to tell Alfred to wait a moment.

“Ja. I’ll tell you all about it if you let me come over. Bitte?”

Matthew sighed, but nodded his head, forgetting he was on the phone. Realising his mistake, he quickly cleared his throat. “Yes, that’s fine. Listen I’m making pancakes, so I’ll make enough for you as well. Alfred can tell you the directions to get here.”

“Sounds good. Thanks again Matthew!” Matthew could hear the relief and just picture a bright smile on Gilbert’s face.

Alfred put the phone against his ear and took a few steps away from Matthew as he focused on the pancakes. So the Prussian had not forgotten him after all. Now Matthew just felt plain silly for getting so worked up, but he was a little concerned if Gilbert was alright if he had been in an accident. The scent of slightly burning pancakes caught Matthew’s attention before too long and brought him out of his thoughts.

“You better hurry up with those pancakes. It won’t take him that long,” Alfred said, a rather teasing grin on his face.

“What do you mean by that eh?”

“I mean, he lives like two floors below us.”

“Eh?” Matthew turned to face Alfred who just laughed boisterously.

“You heard me. He lives two floors down from us. Never knew that.” Alfred shrugged and went to the door, expecting it to ring any moment.

Mouth slightly agape, Matthew tried to comprehend what he had just been told. Why had he not seen the other until just the other day? When did Gilbert move into the apartments? Who was his roommate? So many questions. Matthew flipped the pancake before it burned and placed it on a neat stack he had prepared. Pouring more batter into the pan, he decided to ask some of the more polite questions when Gilbert actually got there.

“By the way, Al?”

“Yeah, what’s up Mattie?” Alfred asked, leaning against the wall.

“Could you possibly stay in your room or just go out for a bit while he’s here? We’re supposed to do homework and knowing how you are, you’ll just distract him.” Matthew turned his back to Alfred, not wanting to see hurt reflected in his eyes, but was rather surprised by the answer.

“Sure thing! I can take the pancakes and eat them at Franny and Artie’s place. I’ll just rub it in that I have pancakes and bacon.”

“Thanks Al,” Matthew said, knowing Alfred understood Matthew wanted some time alone with their guest instead of being overshadowed like he normally was in Alfred’s presence when others were around.

As Matthew started to cook the bacon, putting pancakes on another plate just for Alfred, the doorbell rang. The door opened and Alfred greeted Gilbert, allowing the other to come in. Swallowing thickly, Matthew took a deep breath to relax.

Matthew felt a hand on his shoulder, making him jolt from the contact. Turning, Gilbert snickered at him before giving him a small hug. A blush crept its way on Matthew’s cheek. Alfred muffled his laughter in his hands.

“Hallo,” Gilbert said, releasing Matthew from the hug and stepping back. “West said to bring a gift, so I brought beer. You guys are old enough to drink right?”

Both shook their heads and Gilbert smack his forehead.

[labradorloverr-blog]

My Zodiac: He’s gonna be the death of me.

GUYS I THOUGHT OF THIS AT 3AM. It’s going to be an amazing book I’m really excited. I hope everyone enjoys because for once I created something of my own. I am moving on up from fanfictions!!! Which I will still write of course.

                             Chapter One: James Olivia Franklin

   Zodiacs.

Honestly, a load of bullshit.  People use star constellations to tell them who they should fall in love with.  Or to justify their shitty personalities and guys use them as pick up lines. They shouldn’t waste their time like this.

When I was young and bedtime didn’t really exist, and the rare occasion my mom had a night off, I would be out in the fields behind our house with her. We would be wrapped in blankets, and have a telescope and hot cocoa.

        She would look up at the sky, with the stars reflecting in her eyes and tell me, “Jamie, they’re out there. They’re watching us.” She believes there is no god or jesus or Greek gods or literally any of them. “It’s the twelve Zodiacs that take care of us.” There’s probably a reason she’s crazy.

She's not really crazy, it’s only dementia.

She used to be an amazing astronomer, she would do lectures and teach college classes all about the sky. I share her love for the night sky. That’s what I’m going to to do when I get hell hole called high school. But I’m gonna make sure this silly zodiac crap is put to rest.

         My name is Jamie, or James Olivia Franklin, I’m eighteen and 5’3. My middle name is for a girl.  I have three older brothers, two live at home and one is a lawyer or something I don’t care honestly. My dad is an alcoholic and my mother lives in a special home downtown. I hate people. I hate talking to them, I hate them talking to me, I hate lunchtime, I hate parties and assemblies and pep rallies. It’s all pointless. I don’t need anybody to help me achieve my goals. I can do everything alone. I just hate things in general, kay?

         “Are you gonna finish your sandwich?”

Okay, I lied. There is one person.

Quinzel Martinez, 5’7, total math nerd, a hottie from Brazil, and everybody calls him Quinn, and my best friend. He’s the only person who listens to me. The only person who has helped me go through my mother’s sickness.

We’re in the cafeteria and he asks me the same question everyday, and he knows the routine. I take out an extra sandwich I brought just for him.

“You’re the coolest!!” He bites into it and swallows. “Screw being an astronomer, just be a chef. This sandwich is heaven in between two pieces of wheat bread.”

             “It’s whole grain.”

             “Same thing.”

              “No it’s not,” I look up from my college level textbook I took from the box of my moms stuff that was in the attic.

              “Are we gonna argue about this again?” I look back down at my book.

              “If you just admit I’m right then no argument is needed,” he laughs shaking his head continuing to eat. That’s another thing, I’m very stubborn. But he doesn’t get pissed off like other students, or smack me in the head like my brothers. I remember the first time we met in kindergarten, thirteen years ago.

               “My name is Quinzel Rivero Rodriguez Martinez! But please call me Quin,” his brown hair was really short back then and spiky. He had on a shirt with a college name on it that was too big and pants that sagged. His shoes were transformers like mine. When class started he sat next to me.

I had really big glasses that covered almost my whole face and my hair was long. My clothes actually fit, I found out years later  his clothes didn’t fit because his father had to steal them.

                 “I’m...I’m Jamie….” I wasn’t looking at him. Before I resented all other human beings I wanted friends. But I was shy. As the weeks went by in our first two year of school Quin would just talk and talk and talk, and I would just nod or shake my head. We would sit together in class and in lunch and he even came to my house a couple times and I went to his many times. His family loved me, gave me so much attention.    

     Attention I craved, my mother was working most nights, my dad was always drunk, my brothers wouldn’t talk to me unless they were yelling at me. Quinn’s family was so different, they ate meals together and laughed and played games. I remember the first time I made him laugh, in 2nd grade. It was on a beach his family took me too.

            “I love sand, it’s so great,” he had his hands elbow deep in the sand on his stomach. I was making a neat sandcastle. “Do you like sand Jamie?” I wasn’t going to say anything and I could tell he was about to say something else to continue the conversation on his own like always. Until I finally spoke.

            “One time I replaced my brothers protein powder with sand from my sandbox and it broke the blender when he made a smoothie.” He looked at me but I didn’t look up starting to turn red thinking I sounded stupid. Then he started laughing and laughed for a good five minutes. After that day we started having actual conversations. I now feel like I can tell him anything,he’s the only reason I use my phone.

                    Lunch is over and we go into our AP literature and sit next to each other as usual.

                 “Quin, What do you want to do in life?”

                  “Woah hitting me with the big questions today. Why do you ask?”

                  “Because it’s the one thing that doesn’t come out of your big mouth.”

                “Ow...that hurts me Jamie.”

                “Answer the question,” he laughs a bit and leans back in his chair thinking. Unfortunately the bell rang and class started. So I wasn’t going to find out till later.

         If I don’t go home immediately my dad would beat me. I need to be home by 3:30 and school gets out at 3:00 and so I walk home. I go into the house and I sit on the couch. The house was relatively quiet, so dumb and dumber are probably gonna be our late. Dad is in the kitchen drinking. I take out my homework planner and my laptop.

          “You still talking to that homo?”

           “He’s not a homo dad.”

          “He holds you back Jamie. You should be more like your older brother.”

          “Oh so do drugs?”

          “The other one”

          “The one that got his girlfriend pregnant?”

          “Your brother CAMERON!! Stop being smart with me boy!!” I flinched a little, I hated being afraid, my body clenches, I get a knot in my stomach, I starts shaking and just want to curl into a ball. It’s a horrible emotion. “Get your ass in here!! I’m gonna teach you a thing or two.” My brothers hate me, but they always protect me from him. I get up and go into my room closing the door and locking it. I sit against the door on the floor, it was happening again. “JAMIE!! Come. Here.”

My breathing started to quicken. My heart beating so fast and loud I could hear it in my ears. My hands started shaking and tears going down my fast. My phone went off and I pick it up trying to read the message. It’s from Quinn.

“Hey man I never told you what I want to do in life.” I can’t type, I was trying but my dad is still screaming my name. “Jamie???”  I put my phone down, I had to calm down. “Jamie are you okay?”

“Is he doing it again?”

“I need you to respond Jamie.”

“JAMIE” he starts calling me and I barely press the answer button putting the phone to my ear. “Jamie...What’s going on?”

“I-can’t b-breathe.”

“Hey buddy. I’m here it’s okay.”

“T-Tell me about w-what you want to be…”

“Alright...I want to become a professor at Yale. I want to do something that will make a difference but won’t put me in the spotlight. Plus it’s the same place your mom used to do lectures and you’re going there. I got my acceptance letter yesterday.”

“H-Haha...You’ll be able to talk all day perfect for you,” dad had gotten quiet, he probably passed out.

“Exactly, my favorite thing to do...Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” I get up and sit on my bed. “I’m good. Thanks Quinn.’

“No problem. I’m gonna do some homework. But I’ll send you memes.”

“Alright. I’ll do the same. Except no memes.”

“You will get sucked into the tumblr hole.”

“Whatever.” I hang up. I started having panic attacks when my brother Cameron had gone to college when I was nine. Dad was drunk and hit me calling me a loser and saying I needed to be like him. Kyle and Eric stopped him from doing anything too bad but I was emotionally scarred. Quinn has always been there for me, and now that I know we’re going to the same college and will most likely rent an apartment, we’ll be together forever.