#Coffee Bag Funny Bag
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Osrs Heart Hp Bag For Gift white bag For Friend For Gym A spacious and trendy tote bag to help you carry around everything that matters. • 100% polyester • Bag size: 15″ × 15″ (38.1 × 38.1 cm) • Capacity: 2.6 US gal (10 l) • Maximum weight limit: 44lbs (20 kg) • Dual handles made from 100% natural cotton bull denim • Handle length 11.8″ (30 cm), width 1″ (2.5 cm) • The handles can slightly differ depending on the fulfillment location • Blank product components sourced from Israel This product is made especially for you as soon as you place an order, which is why it takes us a bit longer to deliver it to you. Making products on demand instead of in bulk helps reduce overproduction, so thank you for making thoughtful purchasing decisions!
#OSRS Gnome Child Bag#Old School RuneScape#Coffee Bag Funny Bag#Gaming Merchandise#Internet Meme Dank#Nostalgic gamer gift#Gift for Gamers Bag#Meme of Gnome Child#Mug art gnome meme#christmas gift bag#Osrs Merch Bag#Osrs hp bag#Lv bag osrs
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Hi again 🧚 I'm here to drop headcanons off at your doorstep like how a cat would with a dead bird hope you enjoy
T.C. actually has a really nice singing voice and will in fact lull any of the gang to sleep if need be (it's usually Brain)
Benny has THE squishiest face. And he will absolutely let people squish his face because it's very therapeutic.
Chooch tends to make himself little nests wherever he sleeps. He'll go to bed an hour early just so he can get a nest going and have it be perfectly comfy by the time he's tired enough to go sleep. He usually makes it out of whatever's lying around and then tosses an old blanket on top of it and kneads/circles around in it until it's perfectly Choo shaped
Spook is very much a tea guy. Nearly every day he makes himself a cup of tea and will make tea for anyone else who wants any (and also usually forces T.C. to have a cup when he's high-strung)
Fancy would never admit it but he loves being like aggressively patted like y'know when people will play the bongos on their cat yeah he goes crazy over that shit but he'd NEVER admit that
Y'know those videos of cats hole punching cardboard with their teefs? Yeah that's one of Brain's favorite pastime activities. Crumchin on cardboard. I love it when cats eat crunchy things and they do the little thing where their face scrunches up like yeah put some oomph into that cronch
That is all byyyyye *flies away* 🧚
*lovingly holds all of these like Smeagol lol*
#Also side note..that gif?? #I LOVE CrunchyCat Luna #She's one of the most expressive cats I've ever seen and her meow is to DIE for #Her faces are so perfect I sometimes screencap her to use when I draw the gang I mean look at her:
What a princess💓
#she owns 99.9% of my heart#HOW ARE ALL THESE HCS so GOOD AND IN-CHARACTER#My faves are Fancy and Brain#And T.C. has a very good voice where's the lie#Dibble just facepalms when he's sitting with his cousin one afternoon#just chilling with some cake and coffee#and Patrick is just getting something from his duffel bag and accidentally#a bun ch of pics fall out#and 99% of them are just#the cats scrunching on his pizza#making hilarious faces#He thinks they're cute and funny#Dibble just questions his life#Top Cat#Don Gato#Top Cat 1961#Headcanons#Fandom
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meet a smap fan in the wild and they tell me they like kimura. girl everyone likes kimura, it came free with your liking smap*
#*quoting meme. i don't actually mean to be rude#GIRL IT CAME FREE WITH YOUR XBOX. WE ALL LIKE HIM#obviously i like him too but like. “smap fan who likes kimutaku” is redundant phrasing let's be honest#please give me some information actually that tells me something about you#though in this person's defence the context is#found out my highschool friend's sibling likes smap so my friend was acting as an in-between for this interaction#but i still found it funny. like YEAH I COULD'VE GUESSED. I COULD'VE ASSUMED AND STATISTICALLY IT WOULD BE LIKELY#jitxt#my friend going “my sister says she likes kimutaku i dunno what that means” and me going “that's kimura” did make me giggle though#anyhow imagine me sitting with my friend over coffee and going “oh.... the guy on my bag.... have you heard of smap?”#and i was fully prepared to pull out the Howl's Moving Castle Explanation as one does.#but then she hits me with that “oh like from johnny's?”#i'm sorry bestie i did NOT know your game. apparently she used to be into hey say jump#anyway this post was an excuse to talk about my good day i hope you all liked it
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Holy shit hello paian nation it's been so long. I didn't mean to abandon this blog but unfortunately I've been super busy :')
I thought about sharing this before and I figured I might as well, this is the first little RD drabble I wrote forever ago that would eventually evolve into my Paian fic "like real people do." Some bits are the same and you can probably see how this eventually grew into the longer version. I found it in my drafts again and I still like it a lot so I decided to polish it up a bit, and I thought people on here might enjoy it :)
Ian sighed, typing out the last couple sentences of a report for Dr. Edega before collapsing back into his chair. He squinted at the bright monitor screen, reaching up to rub at his stinging eyes under his glasses. He'd been staring at his computer for entirely too long.
He stood from his chair, yawning and stretching out his back until he felt it pop. He glanced over at the stairs that led out of the basement and wondered absently if Ada's shift was over yet. He was supposed to have left at five PM himself, but there was still so much work that needed to be done and Edega had really been breathing down their necks lately.
He shoved several of the scattered papers on his desk into his shoulder bag and trudged up the stairs to the first floor, making his way down the hall to Ada's office. He raised his fist to rap his knuckles against the wood, before the door abruptly opened inwards and he found himself nose-to-nose with Ada. They narrowly avoided knocking their foreheads together, and he stumbled back a little as he tried to ignore the way his stomach fluttered. She blinked at him in surprise. Her coat sleeves were rolled up to the elbows and her brown curls were tied back in a loose ponytail.
"Ian?" Her mouth turned down in a worried frown. "I thought you went home. Isn't your shift over?"
"Oh. Y–Yeah. Sorry. Just...had to finish a report for Edega," he replied, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. He checked his watch.
"The carer's with my mom until eight, so I still have some time."
Ada stared at him with a furrowed brow and big, brown, serious eyes. She sighed.
"Just...promise me you won't do this too often, okay? I'm worried that he's pushing you too hard."
Ian laughed softly.
"You're worried about me?" At Ada's stern look, he acquiesced. "Okay, okay, I promise."
"Good," she said, finally allowing herself to smile a little. Ian took note of the dark rings under her eyes, the coffee stain on her coat, the way several locks of brown hair were escaping her messy ponytail. She returned to her desk and started organizing the myriad papers that were strewn over it. He followed her inside and hovered awkwardly by the door. Ada looked up.
"Oh—did you need something?"
Ian froze, heat rushing to his cheeks. He looked at his feet and rubbed a hand up and down his arm.
"Oh. Uh...no, I guess not. Just—just wanted to say hi."
She gave him a small, bemused grin.
"Hi."
He watched her shuffle some more papers around on her desk, humming under her breath as she tucked a loose strand of hair behind one ear. Eight years was a long time to get to know someone, and he had spent those years memorizing all of Ada's traits and quirks and idiosyncrasies. He knew how much milk and sugar she liked in her coffee, the way she snorted when she laughed, which movies always made her cry. He knew all of her worst insecurities and how she covered them up with a smile. He knew how, whenever possible, she would take a few extra minutes to chat with the patients or reassure their nervous loved ones before an operation.
She grabbed a stack of loose patient reports and tapped them against the desk to straighten them. She looked so tired.
Wordlessly, he opened his arms for a hug, and it was only a moment before she dropped the papers and tackled him like a linebacker. He wheezed a little at the force of it but wrapped his arms around her just as tightly, and she leaned into him. They began to sway unconsciously back and forth, holding each other, and he could feel her smiling into his neck.
"What are we doing?" she asked, giggling deliriously. "Dancing?"
He was giggling, too. "I—I don't know. I'm so tired."
Ada snorted, and Ian's heart did a stupid fluttery thing that hopefully wasn't an arrhythmia.
"God. What a pair we are."
Ian took a moment to be thankful that she couldn't see his face just then, because he knew that he must be grinning like an idiot.
"I think my shift just ended, too, by the way," Ada mumbled into his shoulder with a yawn. "Intern's taking the night shift."
He huffed out a laugh, resting his cheek on top of her head.
"What would we do without the intern?"
Ada hummed appreciatively.
"They're a saint."
Ian closed his eyes and buried his face in her soft hair, letting himself feel her heart beating in tandem with his. After a long moment, Ada heaved another sigh and began to pull away. Ian immediately missed the warmth.
"Okay, I should probably head home. Gotta go scrounge up something for dinner."
An idea struck him. Ian willed his voice to sound casual, unsuccessfully. He tried to lean back against Ada's desk and almost slipped.
"Hey. Um. S–Since we're both off, do you wanna...come back to my place for dinner? I'm gonna be cooking for my mom anyway, and she—she always enjoys your company."
Ada blinked up at him. "Oh, are you sure? I—yeah. That would be nice."
"Okay! Cool!" He winced as his voice audibly cracked, but Ada only smiled before she bent down to grab her bag from under the desk.
"Cool. I can help you cook," she said over her shoulder.
"Uh...that's okay. I'll—I'll cook."
Ada popped up from behind the desk to glare at him in mock offense, placing a hand dramatically over her chest.
"You wound me. C'mon, I'm not that bad."
A grin stretched its way across Ian's face.
"Remember that time in college you nearly burnt down our apartment making a quesadilla?"
Ada held up a finger as she pressed her lips into a thin line.
"That was...once," she muttered. Ian laughed as she circled around the desk to join him.
"Our—our neighbors called the fire department," he added, chuckling at the memory. She rolled her eyes and bumped her hip against his with a smirk. A swarm of butterflies fluttered like a whirlwind in his chest cavity.
"Geez," she responded wryly. "You set one quesadilla on fire and nobody ever lets you forget it."
She was smiling at him now, all gentle and fond, her eyes crinkling at the edges. Ian found himself staring at the light smattering of freckles on her nose that were only visible up close. He could feel his face steadily growing warmer. He stepped forward and held the door open for her so he wouldn't have to keep making eye contact. As she passed, however, she casually snagged his hand in hers, pulling him out into the brightly lit hallway. Ian startled and stumbled after her, his stomach turning somersaults. He glanced around frantically to make sure Edega wasn't lurking around any corners.
"Okay. Let's blow this pop stand," Ada said nonchalantly.
"I—I don't think...I don't think anyone says that anymore," Ian mumbled vacantly. He stared down at their intertwined hands, uncomprehending. Another smile tugged at the corners of Ada's mouth. She laced their fingers together and brushed her thumb over the back of his hand, sending a feeling like an electric shock all the way up his arm and through his chest, straight to the heart.
"Well, I say it."
She tugged him down the hallway in the direction of the front lobby, her hand warm in his. Ian let himself be pulled along in confusion as his insides twisted themselves into knots. They emerged together into the brisk purple dusk outside, where the light was starting to fade over the tops of the buildings.
Ian was trying his best to remember to breathe, drawing air in and letting it out like a normal person would do. Dozens of clamoring thoughts raced through his head, the most prominent of which, flashing in his brain like a neon sign, was WHAT IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW?! Ada was still smiling placidly, though he could swear there was a hint of pink blooming in her cheeks.
She glanced back at him, her face framed by the soft glow of twilight. He took one deep breath, and then another. It didn't help; he still felt a little bit like he was drowning. She chuckled, though not unkindly, and it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard, which was admittedly what he thought every time she laughed.
"Are you okay?"
"Uh-huh," was all he managed to get out. Ada bit her lip against a wide grin and squeezed his hand, sending a honey-sweet warmth flooding through him that was stronger than the evening chill.
If this was drowning, then maybe he didn't mind.
#rhythm doctor#ada paige#ian rhythm doctor#paian#hello RD fandom. i offer this as an apology for dropping off the face of the earth for a while lmao#i love writing ian he's so funny. his autistic swag#also ada my beloved. she has bags under her eyes and a coffee stain on her coat. she's the perfect woman#i missed these losers#i hope you enjoyed!! this is essentially just the shorter original version of like real people do but i still think it's cute#unfortunately life is still dragging me back by the ankles but i would love to write more RD fic soon. paian specifically bc i love them#okay letting the void swallow me again gn
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ADHD meds + coffee + essential tremors = me shivering my timbers
#relatable?#funny#hilarious#lol#relatable#mental illness#adhd post#adhd#neurodivergent#neurodivergency#i can't tell if it's the coffee mixed with my meds#or the coffee mixed with my essential tremors#or the essential tremors mixed with my adhd#or a mix of all three#but i feel like i'm absolutely trembling#decisions have been made#and they were probably wrong#im no mathematician but this equation seems pretty solid#me shivering my timbers#i feel like i'm trembling#reminiscent of that time i packed my own bag for the first time and only brought sneakers on a whale watching boat in ALASKA in WINTER#adhd+coffee+essential tremors=me shivering my timbers
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Water’s safe, can make my own ice cubes again, can use my electric kettle again, there will be proper cold and hot beverages once more!
#funny the things you didn’t realize were load-bearing until you did not have them for nearly two months#also bagged ice is clearly only meant to just be dumped right in a cooler#it melts just enough on the way home that it just becomes a block in your freezer when it all refreezes together#anyway will this pull me out of the depression pit? absolutely not. but i can make my own hot coffee in the morning again so it’s a start
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Let's mind our own business? Mind this Tote Bag? Link: https://lalitabou.etsy.com/de/listing/1787678634/bridgerton-lady-cat-tea-baumwoll
Etsy Shop: https://lalitabou.etsy.com
#totebag #shoppingbag #reusable #tote #illustration #inspired #bridgerton #regency #victorian #lady #noble #cat #tea #teaparty #teatime #coffee #cartoon #catlover #etsy #funny #fun #cute #bag #garden
#etsy#funny#cute#girl#tote bag#totebag#lady#regency#victirian#inspired#bridgerton#tea time#tea lover#tea talks#tea cup#tea party#fun#funny stuff#funny shit#lol#haha#coffee#cat#cute cats#kitty cat#kitty#illustration#drawing#illustrators on tumblr#garden
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There's something about silly cafe AUs that soothes my soul so much
#hi. my name is pluto and i came up with yet another idea for a fic#will i ever finish the previous wips? who knows#anyways. imagine a spiderverse cafe au where the spiders run a small cafe/restaurant/bakery whatever#the parker surname is funny inside joke bc none of them are related#peter b is either that one employee whos been there longest (has a lot of experience) or is the owner#peter b's mary jane delivers the fruit and vegetables and whatnot. theyre exes and are trying to act professional#but they decide to try again (like in the movie). the drama is unreal and the rest of the spider squad tease him about it so much#gwen is that one punk teen thats kinda scary. feels like shes judging you but shes actually just tired#rude customers stand no chance against her. makes delicious coffee. makes the best playlists. chill coworker#peni is also a teen. the best coworker you could ask for. customers love her bc shes very pleasant and overall really really nice#miles is the fresh faced part timer. kinda clumsy. well liked amongst the aunties and moms#draws THE BEST doodles on the cups/bags and so on#noir is also the scary coworker whos very chill once you get to know him. takes care of the deliveries. makes the food#strong as fuck. all the moms and grandmas fawn over him but hes clueless#felix (male felicia hardy. kinda an oc at this point?? love him so much) is one of the delivery guys. very punctual and pleasant#also very charming. brings gifts and things like that to people he likes. sneaks in snacks#benjamin (noir) doesnt care much for him at the beginning but after some time he weirdly?? feels upset?? when the delivery person#is not felix?? they start talking while taking the stuff out of the delivery van. laugh. get to know each other better#then felix starts visiting the cafe/whatever. becomes a regular. benjamin starts giving him food/coffee 'for the road'#the rest of the squad thinks theyre disgustingly adorable and try to get them together#I JUST CAME UP WITH THIS BUT I WILL DIE IF I FORGET ABOUT THIS#midnightfangz.txt#fanfiction#writing#long tags#spiderman: into the spiderverse
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one way to wake myself up in the morning is to go out in the -20 cold to get myself a McDonald's breakfast... my hands are icicles but I'm no longer sleepy :D
#petchyposting#got a smoky gouda bacon egg mcmuffin and a caramel iced coffee cause their hot coffee is broken somehow. and hashbrown#and a lil donut but lmaooo they just put the donut loose in my bag which was kinda funny?#he was just in there naked on top of the hasbrown...
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Everything I need
Get products from here:
#sweatshirt#fashion#t shirt#hoodie#mug#funny#baby clothes#drawstring bag#oversize#coffee lover#coffee#camping#mountains#climbing#adventure
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We offer a variety of customizable composite packaging bags. Our products are sold nationwide and we also cooperate with international companies, exporting products to Europe, America Southeast Asia, and other regions.
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me and my collection of mostly empty lighters finding out i can only take one lighter on planes in the US ☹️
#i still havent booked a train or plane yet bc how i pack is going to rly affect the decision#but that also means i should ummm finish packing maybe#cause for trains my bags cant be over 22kgs but for planes i have the two carryon limitation... plus what about my weird shit!#trains dont care if you bring six lighters two knives a lightsaber an open can of tim horton's coffee & an entire bottle of japanese shampoo#RAGH i really need to be treating this like im moving overseas and just STICK TO THE SCRIPT TEDDY.#fiiiine ill book a plane... MY LIGHTERS... :(((#i only care bc one of them is the seventh house skull and i didnt get it custom i just found one like that#and then there's the 50th anni one i got in mtl that says flick my bic with this vaporwave pattern FUNNY and COOL#OKAY I NEED TO USE THE LITTLE ENERGY I HAVE i got the depression weird-hour energy burst#gonna eat dinner then write commission THEN pack bc i can pack at any time of the day!! theoretically i could do that with writing too if i#wanted it to be. bad. wkcnskxks#lessons of the hand and the mouth
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LMAO Carmen is so disappointed that we made the herbal mountain huckleberry tea and not the black mountain huckleberry tea
#original posts#silly goofies#pal we only have a 1oz bag of the black mountain huckleberry tea#and we have So Much Herbal Tea#''but it's so sweet :('' You Don't Have To Front For The Tea#''but it's mountain huckleberry'' it is not the mountain huckleberry you like#it's very funny because Carmen is usually very rational and calm and collected but whenever we make coffee or herbal instead of--#--the black mountain huckleberry tea zhe just act like a big sad puppy
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(via "Dog Ears Nature's Satellite Dishes" Classic T-Shirt for Sale by Guess4best)
#findyourthing#redbubble#dog lover#dog#t-shirt#swatshirt#stickers#phone cases#phone case#hoodie#tote bag#caps#mugs#coffee mug#tumbler#dog ears#paws#funny#meme#cute#french bulldog#german shepherd
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🗂️—𝙲𝙰𝚂𝙴 𝟶𝟶𝟷........... THE STRONGEST ......filed under the that's not my jjk man series
visitor log: its midday and your clingy-ass boyfriend—gojo satoru—should be hard at work right getting rid of these doppels not knocking at your door—gotta be a fake... right?! classifications: bimbo!reader (canonverse of otaku!gojo's bunny!reader), yandere-esque Gojo, nipple play, recorded sex, lots of sex toys, dirty talk, panty theft, extreme overstim + slight omorashi. incidents: 4.4k .......shout outs to @yung-notorious for beta-ing some of this!
*knock-knock-knock-knock-knock*
Rapid, insistent knocks interrupt your laughter as you chat with friends, carefully brushing a fresh coat of polish onto your toes. You weren’t expecting anyone, but the familiar, overly enthusiastic rhythm—knocking out the tune of Rick Astley’s "Never Gonna Give You Up"—leaves no doubt who it is.
Satoru.
You sigh.
Although you haven’t seen Gojo much lately and are usually happy to see him, his timing this time irritates you for a couple reasons—first, of course he’d interrupt right in the middle of your much-needed girl time! You were desperate to hang with your friends again, especially after being stuck in lockdown for the last 2 weeks.
There was some juicy tea getting spilled on the call too!
More importantly, you weren't in a hurry to get up from the sofa—especially with your freshly painted white toes you’d propped up on the coffee table to dry. The last thing you wanted was to ruin them by getting dust on them while answering the door when Gojo wasn’t even supposed to be here right now.
“BBL, y’all.”
Reluctantly ending the call, you switched over to your Ring camera app.
Sure enough, the security feed loads to reveal Gojo, grinning up at the camera with his glasses perched on the brim of his nose and a large pink shopping bag in hand.
Huh? There’s no way he’s off-work already!
Taking note of the time it reads 1:30 p.m. confirming that Jujutsu society’s strongest sorcerer is skipping out on work, again—pshh typical.
“C’mon babe, let me in!”
Urgh, what was he even doing here?!
Shouldn’t he be the one leading the charge to kill all the doppelgängers? The faster he exorcized them, the sooner you’d finally be able to go outside again.
This doppelgänger outbreak felt like covid quarantine all over and it sucked!
Satoru needed to get his ass back to work so you wouldn’t waste the best years of your life cooped up inside!
“Go away, doppelgänger!”
You use the intercom feature to speak to Gojo, still not budging from the sofa.
Gojo pouts.
“But it's me, baby! Open the door Bunny bae, please I missed you princess—it’s been too long!”
Satoru’s annoyingly pretty baby blues look even bigger as he pleads into the camera, his lip quivering, making you roll your eyes.
It’s barely been 48 hrs since you’ve last seen him and he still blows up your texts all day!
But the world’s strongest sorcerer was also the world’s clingiest—so you suppose his doppelgänger would be too. Although, you were pretty sure this was the real deal, that still didn’t mean you wouldn’t give him shit for skipping out on work.
“Huh, that’s funny because there's no way you could be my boyfriend, Gojo Satoru, the strongest—and the one who is supposed to be making sure I’m not stuck in the house for another 2 years. It’s been freaking 2 weeks already Toru, I’m going batshit in here!”
Pushing his glasses back in place Gojo hides his scoff, standing up straight.
Shit.
He hopes you aren’t onto him.
Sure, he could have contained this whole thing in a few days tops.
Despite the doppelgänger ability to mimic appearances and cursed energy patterns, Gojo’s Six Eyes could see right through it easily. His power allowed him to perceive the core of a soul with perfect clarity, instantly distinguishing the souls of a human and a curse.
But instead of resolving the problem quickly, Gojo made up all kinds of excuses to you (and especially to the higher-ups) about why it was taking longer than expected.
The truth was, simple though—for once, just this once, he decided he had earned the right to be selfish.
Not having met you until after the covid quarantine, Gojo had never experienced that kind of isolation with you—and was immensely jealous that your last boyfriend had. Now that he had a taste of it, there was nothing he wanted more than to keep his lil bun-bun safely caged up, waiting for his return everyday (and he did try to make it back everyday).
Okay, so he is in fact being really selfish.
Luckily for everyone else though, most of these doppelgänger curses are relatively harmless other than causing absolute chaos with their mere existence alone—unfortunately they could also be seen by people even lacking cursed energy.
Gojo took care of the stronger ones, the ones with more nefarious intentions, while letting the little ones continue to run loose—all so he could have you to himself.
Unbeknownst to you, Gojo is intentionally sentencing you to what seems like a never ending cycle of boredom so that when he finally gets home you cling to him like a grain of sweet sticky rice. So eager for any external stimuli or interaction you’d be up for all manner of his perversions you’d normally shoot him down for.
That didn’t mean you weren’t still a brat though, making him work for it—something that Gojo also noted was his fault though for spoiling you rotten, not being able to deny you anything. So you pretend to be annoyed when he showed up, but Gojo knew the truth—those thick thighs of yours would soon have your slick running down. Your cute, slutty lil pussy dripping would start dripping the moment you’d hear his voice.
Yeah, yeah, he’d get rid of those things eventually—but Gojo was going to enjoy this quarantine with you for a bit longer.
“Even the strongest need a break baby! I need my sweet lil’ energizer Bunny to recharge my batteries, eh?”
You crinkle up your nose seeing him wiggle his eyebrows on camera.
He's such a dorky cornball.
“And this break…it’s approved by Yaga, hm?” Gojo whines at your questioning, not wanting you to deny him any longer nor throw technicalities in his face he didn’t wanna have to answer.
“Come on, Bunny! I even brought you real nice gifts to show you how much I missed you!”
The hot pink shopping bag sways in front of the camera, Gojo dangling it as if it were supposed to be a tempting treat.
But he’d have to do better than some generic pink shopping bag to impress you!
You’ve gone back to your toenails, starting to apply the top coat while you let him squirm out there for a while longer. You knew he could break the barrier in the blink of an eye but you also knew that he was a big enough baby to want you to let him in on your own.
Well tough luck brah.
“That sure doesn’t look like a Chanel shopping bag, Toru!”
“Um, that’s cause it’s not—Bunny you told me you don’t even like me picking you out clothes anymore!”
You clicked your tongue and rolled your eyes—of course you said that as whenever Gojo picked something out for you, it ended up being the most scandalous or over-the-top piece in the store. How he would even managed that at a classy brand like Chanel, you had no idea. (Though, little do you know, in reality, he always acted they were ready-to-wear while they were custom-made—just for you.)
“I got us some toys, baby bun! Don’t you wanna play with me?”
You don’t need to ask him ‘what kind of toys’ from the goofy ass expression that is on his face.
“That’s not making me want to let you in at all, Doru!”
“Hah? Wha—Doru!?”
“Yeah, short for Dopple-Toru.”
You try to keep a straight face but can’t help giggling as you sneak a peek at your phone, still putting on as if you're completely ignoring him. His expression on the camera is priceless though and you wish you could snap a screenshot of his mouth wide open, glasses nearly sliding off, looking utterly incredulous.
��Hey! Come on, Bunny bae, that's not funny! I know you know it’s me—and I also know your pretty pussy misses me!”
Oh knew, it was your perv ass boyfriend and yeah you did miss him—but you missed your freedom more! And for that reason you are gonna make him think twice before trying to skip out on work again. Not to mention, for having the nerve to show up once you finally found something interesting to stave away your boredom other than him!
“Hmm, I don’t know—prove it then, Doru…”
While Gojo loves goading you into playing games and usually lets you win them too, after nearly 48 ‘grueling hours’ away from you, all he wants now is to simply relax in your company. Ya know, nothing too crazy, just the typical cuddles with him calmly resting his face on your titties while his cock nestles deep up against your cervix—just something casual.
Gojo calling your bluff, ups the ante.
“Heh, kay…”
You’re actually not paying attention this time, admiring your work on your toes and contemplating on the color you should paint your fingernails as Gojo goes silent for a moment.
Yet once you hear a loud zip, the rustling of fabric, and a belt clank to the ground your eyes practically bulge out of your head as you grab your phone, bringing it comically close to your face while blinking multiple times just to be sure.
Satoru quite literally has dick and balls out, dangling in the breeze, in front of the entire goddamn neighborhood!
And despite your initial horror and best efforts to remain upset, you pause, your inner slut causing a slight brain malfunction—as even from the small ring camera you can see his deliciously thick cock bobbing fully erect while his mushroomy tip shamelessly drips viscous globs of pre onto your welcome mat.
Thankfully your short-circuiting of common sense only lasts a few seconds before it starts functioning again.
“TORU HAVE YOU LOST YOUR FUCKING SUGAR-FUELED MIND!? YOU KNOW THE HOA IS ONE MORE INCIDENT AWAY FROM KICKING ME OUT, RIGHT!?”
Sighing, you groan in dismay as you’ve been on thin ice with your HOA for a while now because of Gojo.
Not only have you received the most noise complaints in the neighborhood by far, but he also made ‘alterations’ to your home by installing unsanctioned rows of cypress trees. Claiming it was a safety precaution to block the view inside your home from your ‘sketchy neighbors.’ He also ever so obnoxiously takes up 2 parking spots on the street so no one could even “park too close to scratch his Benz” and even sometimes double parked in front of your neighbors house when all the street parking was taken.
You would most definitely be kicked out if anyone in the neighborhood saw all of Gojo’s fairly large bits and pieces freely on display.
And yeah, Gojo did know that.
He also knew if you got kicked out and had to move you’d have no excuse then not to move-in with him.
Where else would you be able to stay on such short notice? He soon turn that temporary situation into a more permanent one too.
Finally leaping to your feet, you practically trip over yourself—all thoughts of preserving your polish forgotten—as you sprint to the front door.
You can’t get there fast enough, yet as soon as you do, you don't hesitate to lower the barrier and fling the door open.
“Hey sweetn—”
Cutting him off, you grab Gojo by his collar and yank him inside before slamming the door shut behind you.
But you don’t get a chance to scold him. The moment you turn to face him, your lips suddenly meet his, and his large frame envelops yours into a warm embrace.
Your first instinct is to push him away, but even when meeting your furious eyes he just grins knowingly—twirling his pointer finger in the air above him. You frown, confused, until it hits you—Gojo has set up another barrier over your own.
No one could have seen him, but he’d let you believe that so you’d let him in faster.
Urgh, Toru is far too crafty for his own damned good.
It's your turn to pout now, having clearly lost this round badly.
But Gojo doesn’t let the expression linger—his mouth is hot and hungry on yours again in an instant. Your soft lips are easily parted by his thumb as he slows to tease his way past your lips to glide his silken tongue into your mouth causing him to sigh—you taste sweeter than any candy to him.
The kiss soon turns more passionate as the strokes of his tongue flick longingly over yours, devouring you as he skillfully melts away your anger—in addition to all the bones in your legs. Reduced to a puddle of goo you completely forget you were just about to cuss him out as your legs now press together from the throbbing between your thighs. Your need becoming more agonizing as you grow dizzy from the lack of air.
When Gojo finally lets you breathe again, he chuckles at your dazed expression. Your lids are lowered and you press your body deeper into his own, clutching onto his collar as you nestle your face into his neck, savoring his scent washing over you.
“So despite all that sass, I take it you actually missed me then?”
You nod eagerly against his skin, in spite of yourself. Even though he isn’t supposed to be here right now, you can’t hold back any longer how happy you are to see him.
“And my pretty Bunny girl is going to let me play with her now?—All of her?”
You gasp as Gojo does not wait for an answer before slipping a hand into your shorts. Hissing at your heat, Gojo swipes his thumb over the outer folds of your cunt and his fingers quickly are becoming soaked before they even got the chance to get up inside you.
Placing a chaste kiss on your temple Gojo's agile fingers had merely confirmed what he already knew: You’re utterly drenched—his needy, cute lil’ pussy was quite literally begging for him and who was he to deny her?
ᡣ𐭩ᡣ𐭩ᡣ𐭩
“F—Fuck! P-pussy too good. Keep the phone up though, nice and straight Bunny! T-That’s it, you’re the best! SHIIIIT— n’you got the cutest sluttiest lil cunny! C-Can you get a close up of how well my cock is digging out your pretty lil’ bunny hole?”
“Mmmgh!”
Gojo’s filthy words and his even filthier fat cock are bringing you closer to your ecstasy filled ruin as they push you past your limits, engorged veins scraping your walls with every thrust. You're covered in sweat and your entire body buzzes—quite literally as there are vibrating clamps suctioned onto each of your nipples.
Mmmm, it all was driving you wild!
Not imagining yourself in this position when you woke up this morning at all.
Especially as initially, when Gojo said he bought toys, you thought he had meant fuzzy handcuffs, silken ropes or maybe even some more of that warm edible candle wax that tastes like strawberries—but all this!?
You could barely see out of your bleary, tear-filled eyes completely caking your cheeks in streaks of your mascara that while supposedly waterproof, definitely is not Gojo Satoru proof.
In addition to the mind-numbing bliss radiating off your swollen perky buds, your body was covered in some sort of edible oily slick. The warmth was initially similar to that of candle wax—yet morphed into anything but. This time the heat was coming from the flames your own body generated as the effects of the candied warming oil made every part of you saturated in the fluid buzz with need.
Of course, after soaking your body with it down the tips of your toes and paying extra attention to your nipples, Gojo had been thoughtful enough to pour the most of the remaining bottle over your throbbing lil’ clit.
Except now there isn’t just a shallow throb between your legs as the fiery sensation of every individual nerve in your cunt was cries out for him to ruin you harder.
Your legs are wrapped around him impossibly tight as your heels dig into the small of his back and yet somehow, he still manages to snake a hand between your slippery bodies to pet his favorite girly spot on you—your clit. Toying with the swollen nub in a painfully slow manner compared to the intensified thrashing of his hips against your own.
The motions only serve to push the heart-shaped platinum and pink sapphire adorned butt plug deeper into your ass with every loud vulgar smack of your wet bodies joining—the strange feeling of it jostling against the very walls his cock was drilling has you drooling as Gojo further tests the limits of passion he can push over.
“C’mon Bunny, you're going to miss the best part, ya better capture it really well how much squirt I can pump out of this cute cunny—or we’ll simply just have to do another take. Not that I’d mind spending all day in your pussy…”
You're not in your right mind to scold him for trying to skip out on more work and you certainly don't have the full capacities to hold his phone up any better—what with your hands were tied together over your head to the bed. Gojo utilizing the fuzzy cuffs afterall.
You can’t even really see if you are getting the right angle as you desperately hold onto the device, keeping it straight and upright lest it slip and drop right on your head.
“Always such a good girl for me huh, princess?”
Tuh—like he was giving you a choice!
You're unable to clap back though as your tongue, so lax from all the pleasure, sinks back to the roof of your mouth. The slobber gathered pools past your lips, over your chin, down your neck to your tits and Gojo is eager to slurp the train up your body and back to your lips, kissing you.
It goes without saying, but Gojo in ‘director’ mode is absolutely diabolical.
The reason being needs the perfect footage of him playing in your guts to make sure he had good enough material to fap to if you wanted him to spend more time away from you while he hunted down the doppel-curses.
“Be good for me a bit longer, ‘kay baby?”
Yet his gentle coos don’t match his demeanor.
Glasses long discarded, Gojo’s own blue eyes looked crazed. He’s unconcerned with the sweat matting his hair to the sides of his face or the wave of slick your pussy splashes onto his taut abs. Abs are shuddering from just how tight of a hold your pussy has on him—working him overtime as his heavy pants soon twist into deranged lil whines.
“M-Me and my lil’ buddy missed our two girls so, so, s-sooo much—AH-HAH-F-FAHHHCK! G-Gotta show ya just how much!”
Shamelessly, Gojo had dubbed his cock—his little buddy—the joke that would have emasculated some men but Gojo made it intentionally with the irony that he was anything but little.
“T-They were made for each other baby—lil’ buddy and the wet pretty girl between these thighs, yeah?”
The ham that he is, Gojo always sounds extra insane whenever a camera is recording, howling with amusement when he watches the playbacks. Yet in this very moment, he was as serious as a heart attack—and you definitely weren't laughing as your weeping pussy gets pounded into deeper into ecstasy filled oblivion.
“Shhh—Stawwp, S’toruuuuu!”
Tsk, you still could form a coherent thought?
That simply wouldn’t do for Gojo who is working so hard and bought all these new toys to see you come completely undone—and he needed you too soon as he wouldn’t last much longer in your squishy gooey core himself—not how your cunt was holding him in the wettest sluttiest lil hug.
There's still one item left that he hadn't used yet though, that in trying to keep up his sleeve he'd nearly forgotten about entirely—his own brain quickly leaving itself on simmer by your greedy lil’ pussy sucking him in so sloppy.
Slightly changing your position for more leverage, he throws one of your legs on his shoulder slotting himself between your cushy thighs while he straddles the other leg. Fucking you sideways with increasing intensity from the bruising grip on your hips pulling your pelvis towards on him as he meets your thrusts smacking directly into your cervix.
“Heh, I know what will finish you off! Ya ready to cum baby? Squirt all on this dick you love so much, eh Bunny?—Yeah ya fuckin' will.”
When you don’t answer right away Gojo delivers a harsh slap directly on your clit, the moisture causing the increased sting to intensify sending your senses into a state of floating. Yet, bringing you back to reality, another harsh smack lands on your cunt and you jerk against your restraints, nearly dropping the phone on your face for real this time.
You don’t understand what he's saying to you but you not regardless, eyes rolling back into your head—every single pore on your skin submerged in pleasure. Completely unaware, you don’t hear the additional buzz of the final toy until you feel its silicone lips latching onto your clit while the rigid faux tongue juts back and forth across your bud.
Eyes practically leaving your skull for the second time today, everything flashes white, blinding you even with your eyes wide open. A scream so guttural it comes out silent, the ball of tension in you finally bursting as releases flushes through your entire body.
Cumming harder than you ever had before, you just let go completely, gushing around Gojo’s thick cock still pistoning in your now drenched pussy. The splash zone from your cunt is quite a bit more than usual as a giant warm wet spot begins to soil and expand underneath you both.
Ears ringing, Gojo sounds a million miles away as you hear him chattering on about something—the phone?
You wiggle your fingers, realizing you must have dropped it, but you’re still clueless about what has him so excited—until Gojo’s voice finally slices through your haze, yelling out in absolute wonderment—
“HOLY SHIT BABY, DID YOU JUST PISS ON ME??? MMM FUCK ME FOR REAL!?—SHIT! YOU WETTER THAN A WATER PARK BUNNY—SO FUCKIN NASTY! PLEASEEEEEE PLEASEEEE TELL ME YOU GOT THAT ON CAMERA!”
Suddenly, it dawned on you that when you had let go, you had quite literally let it all go.
You could die—and if you could muster the strength to move you surely would have raced out to the backyard to quickly dig yourself a whole to do just that in. Yet that clearly would not an acceptable conclusion for your degenerate perv of a boyfriend who is acting like a sinner saved—praising pussy like a newly reborn evangelist baptized in the essence of your erotic filth.
His elation is simple as he figures how much you really had to trust him to be able to let go and lose yourself to him to that extent—now he wants to lose himself to you as well.
Easily drowning all inside your sloshing pussy like he never swam—Gojo doesn't stop, your pissing only encourages him to fuck himself further into a pussy drunk state to rival your own cock-induced stupor.
Yet, somehow he still maintains enough control to effectively lavish praises for how naughty and shameless your lil pussy is.
The frenzy drives him directly to his nut, eyes dilate further and slobber frothes past his lips while spearing his cock into you with renewed vigor. Whimpering and stuttering his words and hips alike. Gojo presses your leg draped across him back against you to be sandwiched between the two of you as leans forward to further ravage your swollen kiss bitten lips again.
Twisting you up like a pretzel and near the point of passing out from overstimulation you his insane joyous laughter sounds miles away as he topples over his peak pumping ropes of his vicious cum—that he’d been saving up for all you over the last two days—into your battered creamy core.
Gojo’s thrusts begin to slow but he’s in your guts just as far pushing cockhead right against your cervix stealing your lips into another fiery kiss.
Once Gojo finally lets you breathe air again, you’re completely out of it, the dopey blushing smile on your face. The embarrassment from pissing all over him is completely forgotten as hearts all for him linger in your eyes.
Sex with Toru was never dull to say the very least.
“There you go, there’s my good girl, huh Bunny? Not bored anymore baby?”
Gojo smirks down at you knowingly while peppering your face with sweet loving kisses as you’re steadily drifting off, allowing every exhausted nerve to claim you.
It's still a good minute before Gojo slides out of you, seeinghis discarded phone next to you—it's still recording. A mischevous smile plays on his lips.
Wanting to capture the aftermath of his handiwork, Gojo sweeps the phone across your body, thumbing off moisture from your dewy soft skin soiled with warming oil and sweat. Making sure to linger longer on your lightly heaving chest and the sporadic quiver of your thighs.
Zooming in even closer, Gojo’s two long fingers to part your swollen lips open, admiring more of his work—his masterpiece that was the copious amounts of cum and piss dribbling out of your abused lil’ hole down to the crack of your ass.
Now Gojo really has a dilemma—he wants to keep filming you as his cum, ever so slowly, trickles out of you. He thinks this scene would make the perfect time-lapse of the creamy sap seeping from your cunt like sugar maple. But he’s also fighting the urge to also suck all the creaminess out of you himself—the cum rimming around your puckered lower hole tempting him to Gojo start there and slurp and suck his way up your clit.
Truly, he never gets enough of how his taste mingles with yours—and he’s quite curious to know how the additional waterworks will add to your delectable flavor.
You were so fucking filthy and so willing to try new things all thanks to this doppel quarantine causing you to make this big a mess in the first place.
God he needed this.
More.
He had to have more from you.
Gojo couldn’t possibly bring this all to an end anytime soon. Cooing against your inner thigh Gojo makes a promise to your cunt.
“Heh, don't worry pretty girl, I'ma give you six more months of quarantine at least! Can't wait to—”
“—TORU, ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW!?!?”
Whoops.
Yeah he definitely thought you were already fast asleep—teehee.
......RESULT: PASSED 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚕𝚢 𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚏𝚒𝚎𝚍 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚘𝚠𝚗 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚑𝚊𝚖𝚎𝚕𝚎𝚜𝚜 𝚜𝚕𝚞𝚝 𝚘𝚏 𝚊 𝚋𝚘𝚢𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍—𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚚𝚞𝚊𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚊𝚒𝚗’𝚝 𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚢𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚘𝚘𝚗 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚎.
that's not my jjk man series (visit series page for full animation)
comment and reblog! next up toji, already finished posting—10/20
©blkkizzat 2024. do not steal works or gfx, do not translate.
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