#also bagged ice is clearly only meant to just be dumped right in a cooler

[waywardvagabonds]

Water’s safe, can make my own ice cubes again, can use my electric kettle again, there will be proper cold and hot beverages once more!

[greenergrassinsafermeadows]

Chapter 13

“........................You… really do love me right? Not just because I’m what’s available?” Clara regretted speaking as soon as the words left her mouth. Craig turned to her, clearly some sort of upset but unreadably so.     “What?” He put his phone down and faced her fully, “Of course I love you? Clara why is that even a question?” She hesitated, shifting her eyes down to the floor. “I- I dunno. I just think about it. Sometimes. It’s stupid.”     “Yea, it really is.” He slid forward, grabbing one of her hands. “Stop thinking about it sometimes. Stop thinking about it any times. It’s dumb Clara. I absolutely fucking love you.”        “It’s. Yea. Just when you were with… Clara. You said it was always her or nobody. I just hope you don’t, y’know, think the same thing about me…”       “Clara.” He scooted forward even closer, “Clara, Clara, Clara.” he climbed into her lap, squishing her face in his hands, “Are you done being stupid now? Are you finished with that?”          “Yes?” “Ok good. Because that was terrible.” He stayed where he was, but opted to let go of her face. “I could’ve asked you the same thing, we both know I’m a cooler, more attractive version of this dimensions sad excuse for a Payton. How do I know you’re not just leveling up?”       She looked hurt for a second, and opened her mouth to object. Craig beat her too it though. “Yea, see, how does that feel?” “...Bad. You’re right, I’m sorry.” She resigned. Both of them slipped into silence for a moment before Craig spoke again.      “If it makes any difference… I’ve known since October. Before… all that shit happened.” “...Known what?”     “That I was into you Clara,” He said with an exasperated sigh, “It felt… Gross for awhile. Like I was cheating or something. So I just kinda banked on telling myself it was because you were… y’know, her.” He sighed, scratching at the back of his neck, “You’re really not. I don’t think I’ve ever even seen you wear makeup- not that that’s, bad.- just. You’re also kinda ripped? Which is nice she couldn’t even carry her own shopping bags. I’m off topic now.”     Clara managed a smile, “You just like that I can pick you up.” “That’s true. I won’t actively deny that.” He leaned in and kissed her, “But I do love you a lot ok? So stop being dumb.”     “I love you too,” she started, then laughed sheepishly, “I’ve uh. Known since my last birthday. But then you read my diary and I kinda wanted to break your face for awhile.”                   “Well!” He threw his hands up before crossing his arms and pouting, “How  else was I supposed to know if you thought I was cool.” “Payton. I’ve never once in my life thought that you were cool.”          He gasped, scalded. “How could you say that! I’m the coolest person you know! You can’t deny it I know the people you hang out with!” “You don’t know all my friends. Some of them smoke the dank kush and fight possums at 1am in the morning.”     “That’s a lie. You’re lying to me right now.” “I am not.” She said with a laugh, “But the point is I love you. Even though you’re kind’ve an asshole.”      “That’s really cheesy. Like romcom cheesy. Hey, wanna watch a romcom?” “Payton I’m not in a place where I’m emotionally strong enough to comfort you when you start crying during ‘The Notebook’.”       “You don’t know I was gonna pick that one. There’s more than one romantic comedy on the planet.” “Unfortunately you’re right.” There was no real spite in her words,  just laughter. “But hey, really I’m- I’m sorry. About doubting you. I guess- I mean I know I was never her replacement but. I was also the closest person there.”        “That’s really not how it was Clara. For awhile- no offense but for awhile even thinking about you fucking hurt by extension.” “I’m.. Payton I’m sorry-”        “Nah, don’t be,” he waved her off, “It was usual post break up stuff, you cry a lot, eat some ice-cream, violently shit for an hour because you ate too much ice-cream, think about just fucking offing yourself, cry some more, listen to sad songs-”     Clara’s face shattered, “You…. you what? ” “I’m lactose intolerant Clara, it wasn’t the best idea but sometimes Ben and Jerry are the only friends a guy has-”    “Payton!” She grabbed his hands, looking horrified, “That’s not what I meant and you know it!” He looked down at her, a bit surprised at her sudden change in demeanor, “What? The ‘offing myself’ thing? It’s obviously not like I actually  did it Clara.” He gestured to himself, still present and alive. “It’s just one of those normal ‘post getting dumped’ feelings.”    “Payton that’s- that is not how people normally react to breakups.” “You put yourself in the hospital when you got dumped- or, did the dumping? How did that even work?”     “I- I don’t know but that’s not the point! I didn’t put myself in the hospital on purpose! I definitely never wanted to die!” “Really? That’s like, the usual post-break-up nihilism and depression though isn’t it?”    “Payton. Thinking about suicide isn’t usual. That’s terrifying.” “Well I’m not thinking about it now!”     “Yeah but- but just-” Clara didn’t really have a response. Holy shit was that really how bad things had been after? She stopped herself, took a deep breath, freaking out wouldn’t help anything. He was ok at the moment. That was what mattered. Still, she pulled him into a nearly crushing embrace, resting her head on his shoulder.     “Clara.” He started after a moment, “I’m fine. Really.” “Do you want me to let go?”      “....No. Don’t do that.” “Didn’t think so.” She did however, pull back enough to kiss his forehead. “I’m…” She hesitated a moment, wondering if saying it out loud would jinx things. “I’m glad you’re here. In this- this general plane of existence? I mean? Dimension? Whatever, I’m glad you’re in it.”       “Yeah…” For a moment, he looked contemplative, oh god she’d just said she was glad he got ripped away from everything he’d ever known or loved, Clara what the fuck were you thinking?! But then, he smiled. Leaning forward and kissing her again, “Yeah, I am too.”