#Code: Realize Guys React to Seeing Their Newborn Child

[writtenbyrosey]

Why I Think Steven Is Making Himself Into A Monster While Blaming It On His Gem

I’m going to start by talking a lot about Pink Diamond.

Yes, yes. We all know that-

...Right. That she’s gone.

But.. with everything that’s been happening during Steven Universe FEAR, I can’t help but think back to 3 Gems and a Baby, Change Your Mind, and the movie.

Here’s what I think’s goin on...

In Three Gems and a Baby, Garnet Amythest and Pearl each had different theories in regards to who or what Steven was. 

Amythest thought Pink was simply shapeshifting into Steven, Steven merely being a disguise and Pink pretending to be Steven. Garnet thought Steven was a fusion between Greg and Pink, also assuming that Pink was aware and that she was only remaining fused as Steven as to not be rude to Greg.

But Pearl’s theory is what’s been bothering me lately...

We know that in a way, all three of them are correct. 

That in order to even carry a fetus, Pink must have shape-shifted a womb inside her body so that she could properly incubate a child with Greg’s DNA. In order to mimic DNA that could ‘fuse’ with Greg’s, I speculate that she became one with the fetus upon his birth somehow. I’m guessing that once Steven no longer resided in her shapeshifted womb, where a child’s normal umbilical cord would be, that was also a shapeshifted part of herself. She used that cord to connect Steven to her gem, not to provide him with food (although she probably HAD to eat organic food so that Steven’s organic body could grow), but to provide his developing anatomy with her own ‘data’ so that the child would absorb aspects of herself. 

Once Steven was born, the shapeshifted illusion of what allowed Pink to be an individual while he grew would no longer be enough to keep him alive. This explains why she had to give up her physical form. This is where Pearl’s theory takes effect. During his birth, she had to poof so that her gem would always be able to provide Steven with half of what makes him whole. I couldn’t really see properly in ‘Growing Pains’, but I don't think Steven had a heartbeat at all! That would make sense because, without Pink’s gem, he wouldn’t be able to exist in the first place.

So all that being said, I believe Pink’s gem DID hold her consciousness while Steven developed his own. Remember what Pink said in her video to Steven. 

“Steven, we can’t both exist. I’m going to become half of you. And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you. Because you’re going to be something extraordinary. You’re going to be a human being. Take care of them, Steven.”

(This sentence is important and I'm going to mention it for another point later on: And I need you to know that every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you.”)

If gems are computers, their ‘soul’ would be equivalent to a user’s files where their data would be stored, and the FOLDER that data is stored on would be the physical GEM. When Pink became Rose, nothing was changed in terms of her soul or her files, so it would be the equivalent of just renaming that folder something else. That is what pure shapeshifting would be in this case.

When Steven was conceived, Pink preparedly provided a shapeshifted female human reproductive system, which like the rest of her abilities, was powered by her Gem. When uh.. ermm... pink diamond’s file was edited with a sort of... ‘unrecognized genetic coding’ (I didn’t want to straight-up say Greg’s jizz lol) those files would begin to dramatically alter as Steven developed his own consciousness. So once Steven was born and began to experience life (ie: develop his first memories, learn skills like talking, develop likes and dislikes) every new development in Steven’s brain, every ORGANIC development from his human side began to OVERWRITE Pink diamonds files. It’s like when your computer begins to run out of file space, out of memory, what does it do to make space? 

It deletes old files.

Going off of this logic, by the time Change Your Mind aired, Pink, or to make this simpler we’ll just say Pink’s gem, had existed as half of Steven for 14+ years. I think it would be the equivalent of two users sharing a computer. Whenever Steven was running low on memory, Pink very willingly began to purposely and consciously delete parts of what made her well... her. So that Steven could be anyone he wanted to be.

Her words in that video:  “-Every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you. Because you’re going to be something extraordinary. You’re going to be a human being.”

Now I’m gonna be real with ya’ll. I believe that Pink AT THE BEGINNING wanted Steven for a selfish reason. Put down your pitch forks okay?? I said at the beginning! Originally, YEAH. She DID want an escape. She DID want to avoid taking responsibility for all her mistakes! I believe from when Steven was a newborn until he was like 7 or 8 probably, Pink was FULLY aware, she was FULLY herself and COMPLETELY feeling/seeing everything Steven could. She was literally an AUDIENCE member in Steven’s mind, watching and experiencing THROUGH him what it was like to BE him. Like a demon possessing a person, but not trying to control them in any way. Just.. squatting. Chilling in there and sharing in everything Steven felt or saw without him even realizing. 

ONLY MAYBE did she make her presence known through relevant dreams now and again, when her memories were stirred by what Steven was living.

ANYWAY like I said, I think it started this way. But I believe just like Steven has done for every other damn character in this fantastic show, Pink changed because of her experience being him. And let me ask all of you this. 

Would the OLD SELFISH SPINEL ABANDONING BISMUTH BUBBLING PEARL DUMPING GREG ABANDONING FALSE PROMISE INSTILLING CONDESCENDING PINK WE KNOW, WILLINGLY allow herself to slowly and completely fade away from existence, just to give this weird human gem hybrid experiment she created his own identity? 

No. 

But the Pink that spent almost a decade in the shoes of (thanks to Greg’s intense empathy soaked parenting) the most selfless, kind and innocent child? The Pink that FELT how good Steven felt when he helped others? Would THAT Pink just take away the life she’d given to him, just because if she didn’t she would cease to exist?  

Obviously not. I mean..

GUYS. Can you IMAGINE how HORRIBLE it would be to SLOWLY, memory by fucking memory, erase yourself? Like it’d probably be painful, confusing, just day by day slowly forgetting who you are, who you knew, your friends, your memories, your IDENTITY, your CONTROL! OH MY GOD WHAT WAS MORE IMPORTANT TO PINK THAN CONTROL?? Nothing! That’s all she wanted! That’s all she was after! Control over her own life! Freedom! Being able to change! To GROW! 

And yet.. she gave ALL OF THAT UP so that Steven could be who he is.

And the proof of that is 100% at this moment when White rips Pink’s gem OUT of Steven, and when it forms without him, all that’s left is the SHADOWS, the ECHO of who she used to be once upon a time. Because that gem is like 1% Pink, 99% Steven.

Without Steven, her gem is aimless, purposeless, devoid of ANY emotion or personality. It has ONE GOAL. To become Steven. The only part of Pink that may have been aware from within Pink Steven, that teeny tiny sliver of her data that might have remained. All it wanted was to be Steven. 

THAT would have been an amazing place for the series to end, at least for the sake of Steven’s identity crisis. When he saw his gem half, he was so relieved to not see his mother. Because his whole life he was struggling with NOT BEING HIS MOTHER. He FINALLY FIGURED OUT that HE IS HIS OWWWWNNNNN PERSON! 

YAY! 

...

And then THIS shit happened.

UGH. That rejuvenation... It RUINED EVERYTHING for him.

We know from the movie that it set back all of the gems to factory settings. To their default. It completely wiped their memories!

The movie insinuated that it set Steven back to when he was a kid, and that he regained his abilities when he regained his sense of how he grew and changed from that helpless kid with no powers..

But is that all there is to it? A lot of people bring up the possibility that Pink Diamond was reset from within Steven, that she’s trying to get out from the inside of him, hence everything going on with his body in SUF. The enlarging of his body makes some people think that Pink diamond doesn’t recognize Steven, is somehow completely aware that she is trapped within him, and that she is fighting for freedom etc.

I don't think that’s it at all.

I think the rejuvenator did more than what the movie concluded, but I don’t agree with the pink diamond is corrupting steven from the inside out theories. Not at all.

If Pink Diamond and Steven were still sharing his gem, just like I had speculated before, in his early development, if they were struck with the rejuvenator THEN? Yeah. Then I’d think there was some merit to the “Pink is trying to escape Steven’s fleshy prison” theories. But what happened during Change Your Mind, that completely convinced me that if not 100%, then at least 98-99% of Pink’s data has been overwritten with Steven’s data. Resetting a computer would NOT restore data that has been overwritten. 

Therefore, I think Pink Diamond has absolutely NOTHING to do with Steven’s corruption. He is 100% corrupting because of his own mentality, because of his gem reacting to puberty charged testosterone mixing with the cortisol surging through him due to his untreated PTSD. 

Think about it.

What happens when you take a hormonal teenager and cross it with a shell-shocked war veteran who’s been having an identity crisis since he was ten?

Well. You get Steven. 

I think the rejuvenator erased everything he was able to realize at the end of Change Your Mind. It took away his sense of self. At the end of that episode, after he fused with his gem half, he said “It’s me. I’ve always been... me.”

I find it very suspicious that each gem struggled with memory loss, not only as Steven acknowledged in the movie, that he forgot ‘how much he’d changed’ and that he ‘was capable’. He also forgot AND HAS YET TO REMEMBER that he is himself. He may have inherited his gem from his mother, and with that comes her IMMENSE powers and abilities. But that’s all. Maybe that, and a tiny teeny ghost of a sliver of how much she loves him. 

BUT REMEMBER THAT LINE I SAID I’D BRING BACK FROM HER TAPE??

“every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you.”

“every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you.”

“every moment you love being yourself, that’s me, loving you and loving being you.”

Hey, guys? Does Steven still love being himself?

Or did he forget the very reason why he once did?

That’s why he’s physically beginning to look like his mother. Because that is who he is blaming for all of his self-hate. Because he looks at his gem and these stress-related painful changes and BLAMES his mother, as if she is somehow currently punishing him, trying to force him to become her.

But it’s ALL in his head.

He hates himself because, thanks to the rejuvenator, he’s forgotten the reason why he loves himself. He hasn’t remembered because he doesn’t realize that’s what his problem is! He was sent back to thinking he still is his mom.

He gets these flashbacks, these moments where his gem is struggling to remember why he is allowed to love being himself, only remembering the pain of his gem being ripped out and the fear it causes prevents him from remembering anything after that. I’d be shocked if he remembered what his gem turned into once he was separated. It’s not like anyone ever mentioned it again? Or brought it up to him. He hasn't been ASKED. 

So because he forgot, he’s just left with this emptiness. With this horrible gaping question of “Who am I?” 

And he tried all the unhealthy ways of coping. #relatable

-Controlling others lives so he could feel a sense of control over himself (Little Homeschool/Guidance)

-Replacing the idea of his mother with something new / forcing himself to be okay with the idea of his mother and faking a normal family context around her (Rosebuds)

-Fixing unfixable problems so he could feel like he doesn’t need to be fixed (Volleyball)

-Justifying his own paranoia by projecting it onto other unrelated situations, only to second guess his originally correct intuition about a malicious individual, and then figure out he was right in the first place. Instead of confirming to himself that he has decent intuition, he doubles down on deciding not to trust the advice of others. Also begins focusing on the constant presence of threats, as if he will never be safe.(Bluebird)

-Burns himself out from throwing himself into activities that keep him busy, even though he doesn't really feel passionate about those activities anymore, because instead of doing little homeschool cuz he enjoys it, all he wants is the resulting approval from others. he does. whatever anyone asks him to resulting in exhaustion and feeling like a failure, all in an attempt to feel like he is needed in order to emulate a form of love he cannot give himself. (very special episode/In Dreams)

-Misinterprets the gems concern and nostalgia cravings because of insecurities in which he feels like the others want him to be someone he's not and becomes resentful for not being respected for ‘who he is’, even though he won't admit that he doesn't actually even know who he is (because he doesn't fucking remember!!) (Snow Day)

-Feels like he’s being personally victimized and abandoned when his friends begin to move on without him to pursue their own dreams and ambitions, and allows that resentment to build while lying and saying he doesn’t blame them for leaving him behind. (Little Graduation/Prickly Pair)

-He focuses on what he can’t relate to when it comes to the human side of life that he feels he's been robbed of. Proceeds to try to solve this and everything mentioned before by running away and becoming someone else (Stevonnie) with no regard for how Connie would feel as an individual (Kinda sounds like what his mom and Greg did - the thing he was super pissed at them for. Ahhh projection and lack of self-awareness in teenagers is staggering) (Bismuth casual / together forever / growing pains / Mr. universe)

-Completely gives into his rage as an outlet, but allows it to overtake him. Having immense power + PTSD induced cortisol + Rage + Puberty charged testosterone = a very dead cheeto puff. Steven does something horrible that he himself said was something “a crystal gem would never do” and as far as we know, is something his own supposedly HORRIBLE mother didn’t even do. So he forces himself to believe he's not only done something a diamond would do, but by seeing the diamonds, he realizes that the diamonds are actually bettering themselves and trying to make up for the crimes they committed, while Steven thinks there's no way he could ever make up for what he did, even if he was able to bring Jasper back. Hits rock bottom. (Fragments / Homeworld Bound)

Shattering a gem betrays who Steven is at his core, and even if he remembers who he is and that he IS his own person, now he has no choice but to believe, at least according to his own morals, that he’s an even worse person than every single individual he had been resenting/judging. 

This isn’t Human Steven VS Gem Steven.

This isn’t Pink Diamond trying to take back her gem.

This is Steven hating himself and making himself suffer. This is Steven never asking for help out of fear that he might somehow destroy the happy ending that he helped everyone else achieve. This is Steven forgetting who he is and failing to realize that he can’t do everything on his own, that he can’t fix everything, and that he can’t make it through life without letting people help him when he needs it.

This is Steven believing that he doesn’t deserve to be happy.

I anxiously anticipate this Friday, and I hope that all the people who love him can save him before he destroys himself. 

This is and will always be one of the best shows I’ve ever seen.

[coderealizeheadcanons]

Hello! Oh man this blog is so amazing! I cant get tired of it! ＼(☆o☆)／ I didn't have the chance to read throughout the blog, so I don't know if it has been resquested already but, how would our guys behave when a pregnant Cardia gets in labor and how would they react seeing their newborn for the first time? Could you please include Herlock Sholmes? Thank you so much!!!

Mod S again! 

I actually did a headcanon already where the guys reacted to their partners going into labor. I did not do them reacting to seeing their newborns, though, so I’ll do that one for you. I also did not include Sholmes in that ask, so the ask is being edited to include him and should be up soon. He will be in this one, too C: 

Here’s Code: Realize Guys React to Seeing Their Newborn Child! 

Arséne Lupin: When Lupin first sees Cardia holding their newborn daughter, he can’t wait for his turn, but he is patient. As soon as Cardia offers to let him hold her, he eagerly yet gently takes her from Cardia’s arms. He cannot help but whisper how much he loves her and her mother, and that he will always be there for them. He confesses that he is afraid to be a father (of letting them down) but that he will never stop trying to be good to his family. 

Abraham Van Helsing: Van his terrified when he sees his newborn son for the first time, but he feels such strong emotion that he can’t bear to look at Cardia or his child without fear of crying. Van can’t hold the baby at first; he’s too afraid that he will hurt or scare the child with his deep voice. However, Van watches the baby from his crib and vows to never let harm come to his child or Cardia. It takes him a month or two before he can hold the baby. 

Impey Barbicane: Impey has to hold himself back from snatching the baby right out of Cardia’s arms when he first sees his newborn daughter. Cardia has to constantly shush him from how loud he is being. When he upsets the baby and it cries, Impey gently rocks her and tells her how wonderful that she is. Cardia has to fight Impey over getting to hold the baby, but when she does, Impey is beside himself with joy upon seeing his family right before his eyes. 

Victor Frankenstein: When Victor first sees his son, he cries. He’s just so enraptured with his own child that he cannot stop the tears from falling. He constantly has to wipe his eyes for fear of dripping on the baby. Once he can calm himself, he constantly checks on his son to makes sure he’s not hurt and breathing correctly. Cardia has to take Victor aside and tell him everything will be all right in order to calm him. He just wants his son to be safe. 

Saint Germain: Saint Germain cannot speak when he first sees Cardia and his new daughter, so Cardia has to speak to fill the silence. She comments how she looks like the both of them combined, and she thinks it’s beautiful. She offers to let Saint G hold the baby, and when he does, he cannot stop the tears from falling. He just cannot believe that his life has become so wonderful, and he vows to himself that he will never let anything take that joy away. 

Herlock Sholmes: Sholmes has a lot of mixed feelings when he first sees his son and Cardia. The feeling of fatherhood hasn’t quite hit him yet, but the feeling protecting his family comes to him all at once, and he holds onto Cardia and his son at the same time. He says he cannot wait to teach his son all that he knows, yet Cardia tells him to enjoy the present because he will miss it eventually. Sholmes already thinks they should have more children. 

[ikon-scenario]

The Boys’ Reaction To Their Girlfriend/ Wife Giving Birth

Junho:

You waddled around the kitchen of your apartment muttering to yourself. “Come on little guy. Momma is getting tired of carrying you around all the time” You continued to talk to your unborn child, and didn’t even notice that Junho had came inside. “What are you doing”, he laughed. “Wha- oh! Hi love. Just talking to our unborn child” “You are an interesting character” We laughed and continued our nightly schedule. After showering and getting ready for bed, you felt something dripping down your legs. “Junho.....JUNHO” you gasped in realization. “IT’S TIME IT’S TIME” “Why are you yelling? Let’s just o to the hospital” You rolled your eyes at his f*ck boy attitude an waddled your way to the car. Once at the hospital, you were ready for baby to come out, and so was Junho. He kept is cool throughout the entire process and as soon he saw you with your new born baby girl, he looked at you and said, “My girls.”

Bobby:

“Is it time yet?” “Bobby, come on. This is the third time you’ve asked in the past 10 minutes.” “I’m excited. I can’t wait for my little son or daughter to arrive!” Bobby wouldn't stop asking if the baby was about to come out. You just wanted to relax with your swollen feet up and eat your bowl of ramen. Bobby couldn’t seem to calm himself down. He kept walking back and forth and continued to ask you if you were ready to give birth. You got up, trying to ignore Bobby’s questions and then it happened. You looked at Bobby with wide eyes. “It’s time.” Bobby’s eyes matched yours, wide and excited. He immediately brought you to the hospital, ready to meet his first child. When he was able to hold his newborn son, he had a huge smile on his face. “Hi baby!!”

Hanbin:

“Hanbin, stop playing with the baby’s stuff” “It’s not the baby’s yet. The baby is not here. Plus, I paid for most of this, so it’s mine” You laughed and rolled your eyes and began to clean the kitchen. Hanbin is usually the serious type, so to see him in such a good mood was refreshing. He continued to play with all the baby toys and gadgets. You laughed and began to wonder if you needed another baby if you had Hanbin. You were finishing up your cleaning as you noticed Hanbin staring at you. “What are you looking at?” “Get in the car, now.” You gave him  confused look. “It looks like your water broke” You looked down at your already soaked clothes and noticed the stream going down your pant leg. Once at the hospital, you went through the process of giving birth and when you held your baby girl in your arms, you looked over at Hanbin with a big grin on your face. He danced around saying “I’m a daddy, I’m a daddy!”

Donghyuk:

  Throughout your entire pregnancy, Donghuk has been so kind and caring. He would do anything and everything for you, just to make sure that y and the baby were safe and that you were comfortable. He massaged your feet when you came home from work or after you cleaned the house, he would deal with all of your weird food cravings and mood swings, and he would try to clean the house himself. When he knew that it was almost time for the baby to be due, he made sure to get the hospital bag ready and would constantly ask if you were okay. You loved him for caring so much. When it was time to give birth, he was prepared and brought you to the hospital. When he was able to meet his baby boy, he had a huge grin on his face, and you were able to see tears begin to well up in his eyes.

Yunhyeong:

Yunhyeong is loving and caring towards you during your pregnancy. You were trying to do some exercises and yoga to try to keep your body healthy. As you were watching your workout video and trying to following what was being done on the video, Yunhyeong came back home from practice. He chuckled to himself as he watched you, very round, attempting to do your workout “Don’ stress yourself out jagi.” “I am trying to make sure I keep myself in shape”, you stopped at looked at him. “What?” “If the baby is not out yet, that’s not really gonna help jagi.” You sat down and sighed. “You’re right.” Yunhyeong laughed at your reaction. “It’s okay. AS soon as you are able to be out of the hospital, you can work of the baby fat.” “I won’t have a lot of fat though. I hope.” you giggled. “Hopefully, this baby will come out soon so that I can start working out properly.” “And it sees as though the baby is ready to come out now.” You looked down and saw a puddle around the area that you were sitting in. “Let’s go! Let’s go!” you said, excited to meet you baby girl. After you had the baby, both you and Yunhyeong were smiling like idiots. Yunhyeong gave the doctor a camera to take a picture of your new family.

Chanwoo:

Chanwoo gave you your space during your pregnancy. He never really knew how to react to your sudden outbursts of both anger and sadness due to your raging hormones. You knew that you were about to give birth, but you didn’t want to sit around and do nothing. You wanted to clean the house and run errands. “jagi, you shouldn’t be going out and doing too much work. Your feet are already swollen.” “Chanwoo, I don’t want to be lazy. I need to do something to get my mind off of being as big as a house.” Chanwoo just nodded and allowed you to do what you want. When you returned from running errands, you immediately told Chanwoo that he needed to bring you to the hospital. He did as he was asked, and took you to the hospital. When it was time for you to give birh, Chanwoo said that he had to leave the room. When he came back, he was welcomed by the faces of you and your baby girl and he greeted you with a soft smile. “She is precious.”

Jinhwan:

Jinhwan as anticipating the arrival of your baby girl. He took the initiative of painting and decorating the baby’s room and getting all of the baby supplies, such as diapers, a car seat and many other things. “Jagi, I can’t wait for our daughter to arrive.” “I can see that.” you giggled at his excitement. ‘Jagi, I want you to see what I did to the baby’s room.”, he grasped your arm and dragged you to the room he set up. He made it look so cute, he even had stencils on the wall and kept everything color coded. “Wow Jinhwan, you did an amazing job.” You looked down at your stomach and rubbed it “Do you see how daddy did your room? Isn’t it pretty baby?” “I can’t wait for her to arrive.” “Well, you don’t have to wait much longer. It’s time.” Jinhwan’s eye got wide with excitement. “This is amazing!” After you gave birth, he looked at your daughter with a smile on his face, “Hi baby, I’m your daddy”

[theatlanteanangelofwriting]

Monika Halloran

My name as you may already know is Monika Halloran. I am one of the younger Travelers at the time of this writing. Along with having a different point of origin compared to the others as to speak. But enjoy, hopefully. It all started back when I thought I was a normal girl just living a normal life. Merely growing up and being a normal child. Parents taking me on great trips across the country or even to other countries. I was happy, but never realize until later those were just lies. And used to make me believe I was a real normal person, because they gave me awareness of more than just what goes on around me. Because I was merely designed to be a guide of sorts in a dating sim kind of game. Rather strange one when I think back on it. Though I am aware of that sounding like I am the Monika everyone knows and loves or hates from a certain game. But all we share in truth is a genre, eye color and name. Maybe because my creator or creators were influenced by her, or maybe we have the same creators. Or maybe simply pure irony. But I'll never know, nor do I care about something like that. Anyway, back on topic. After enjoying my fake childhood and almost all of my teen years. I was push into the reality of the game I was born in. Going from no care of what happens, to realizing everything about me and what is around me. Needless to say I went from happy to just outright shocked and scared. So horribly scared about what this truth means for me and what I was suppose to love... Yet I forced myself to keep moving like the game wanted me to. Going to my first class of the day at "my" school. But yet there was something that only fate itself could tell would happen. What was suppose to be the player's avatar, was in fact a real person. Somehow real and within the real spaces of my "life". But it I would be lying if I just calmly accepted it like I was suppose to. Instead I just scream, for this was wrong and not suppose to be possible. And I was already in a very fragile state mentally and emotionally. Yet, while the game didn't react. The person did by coming over, allowing me to see his rather beautiful green and brown eyes, to go with his dark brown hair. "Relax, Monika. Everything will be alright. Just go and sit down and get through this day. And yes we'll fix this by lunch." He said before giving me a tight all too warm hug before going to his seat. I would be lying if I spent my time trying to relax and focus on what the game wants me to focus on. But I just couldn't understand why he was here, who he was. But most importantly if he merely wanted to "fix" me as I would no doubt cause troubles for them and their player base... So I spent my few classes I had on trying to figure out how to "break" the game and who this person instead of a player avatar was. Yet in the end when it came for lunch time I had nothing. Nothing that would have help me at that moment. So I merely skip lunch and went into the library to try and forget what was going on. While also creating a stronghold of sorts for myself, only for both plans to lead to nothing as well. For the books were nothing but images, trying to interact with one was like trying to pull a brick out of a wall. Well a somewhat horrible pixel looking wall... The creators really didn't care about the book images I guess, much to my sorrow now I think about it. And the stronghold part well... Given that I could only move the chairs in one or two ways. With everything else in library that could be used to making a stronghold was unable to move. Plus the fact that the guy just walk into the library and over to me when I was too focused on trying to move a table didn't help... "Honey, just relax. Not here to hurt you, or quote and quote fix you or anything of the sorts. Too old anyway to be dealing with that kind of stuff." He said in a calm tone of voice, almost felt like honey. I couldn't help but freeze in fear, barely even taking in his words with how scared I was. And I think he knew that given how he help ease my fear away and replace with with a calmness. Later learn he did that by just using his psionic energy in a minor way that can relax a person. Normally that is... "Who are you and why are you here!" I said as I somewhat snap at him, with my fear coming back upon remembering a few questions I had. Which he replied with putting his hands up in the air a little, along with a small smile on his face. "A friend, Monika. But if you truly wish to know, I am The Traveler. Otherwise known as Keaton. And I'm here because of fate and you." So yeah... I couldn't help but sit on the table with a loud bang and moving back a little. "Are you the one who is messing up with my "life" in this game?!" "That was purely the game, and the fact that you are someone different. Weren't suppose to be this aware or anything from what the game devs wanted. Dam people and trying to make people like AI's in their games these days." He said before shaking his head with a look of sorrow in his eyes. So I move forward a little and for once that day I felt somewhat relax. And safe for some strange reason for the time. "So I'm just some faulty AI then? And what even is a Traveler anyway? Some kind of bird?" I asked, which he couldn't help but laugh a little at my last question. "No I'm not some kind of bird. Rather a very complex energy being that would take forever to explain. Also on the AI part... Depends on how you want to view it as one way you're alive and that's what they wanted but not the way you are truly aware. On the other hand you are too aware, causing problems, and other things on top of that. Their fault at this DLC thing they're trying." Funny enough as he said this he was moving his hands about in such a way that he was making little gestures. Either by design or just simply being himself. "Okay, but what does this mean then?" I asked, only now realizing my little digital heart was racing. "Two things, I can either fix this so you are basically what the devs wanted and have no real freedom. Or I could take you away so you can be a normal person, which I rather prefer." It was a bit shocking to me at the time since he said it in such a manner as if this was just a normal thing for him. "And how would I live a normal life at all if you took me away? And why do you want to do that?" "Because you're alive and as such. You deserve to know what life truly is with memories of your own instead of lies. Among many other things as after all, it is the right of any true living being like yourself." "Don't you mean ourselves? Because you're clearly a living being too." I retorted along with sticking my hand out to lazily point at him. "Yourself, ourselves, no different here. At least not one I currently care about at this moment. But which path do you want?" I think some part of me wanted freedom so badly, as if it knew what I wanted and what this place would mean for my future. Maybe it was a glitch, part of my personality my creators wanted. Or maybe something else, I'll never know. I do know that I leapt on his offer of freedom, to have real memories but most importantly what wasn't said. To be able to live as who I am and not by the rules of coding place on me. I didn't need to say a word to tell him I accept, mainly due to the big dorky smile on my face. But also because he read my mind as he told me later. And just quickly as I came into this digital world, I left it all behind. And with it the fake memories, and maybe some digital friends I had there if I had any. Next thing I knew I was somewhere else, somewhere real. And on the floor because it felt like someone kicked me in the stomach, no wait. More like someone took the power of a train and kick me with it in the stomach. Even though the pain was throughout my body and some parts of my mind... From what Keaton told me, he simply just pick me up and took me to somewhere to relax and get use to my "new" body. As he did more than just take me away, but also replaced my digital body with a real one. Much to my displeasure at the time. But a few weeks would pass by as he got "me" a apartment, but really it was more of us given that I was like a newborn. Well, a really big newborn and worse... Anyway, during those weeks he taught me the basic things from eating to how to take care of idiots. Basically everything a person needs to know and some more for living a good but also somewhat safe life. I say somewhat safe because well, I was a little careless back then. I still have no idea how many times he save my butt on many things from spending money, saving the food I was cooking from burning, etc. But I was glad he did, even if I was a pain in the butt for him. Yet he stayed, just helping me and being a friend that I needed. Though I couldn't help but fall in love him, not just because he save me from a possibly horrible life. But help take care of me, teach me, and being far too kind. Plus making him laugh or smile with my dumb stuff only made it better or worse depending on how you view love. Though I did make friends and all mainly thanks to going forward with some of the things he taught me. But they just didn't have the same energy as he did. To be honest, I was glad I did. As he taught me about the (what I call the second) most powerful thing in the multiverse. Love, and everything that comes with it. The pain, the joy, the sorrow, just everything. Also think some part of him was just as happy as I was then. A part of him that just wanted someone to truly bond with that almost never happens for a Traveler. I had a wonderful first life with him, though he also taught me what a Traveler is. A Traveler is a being of pure psionic energy that more or less "travels" across the multiverse. Living countless lifetimes to help people, save them, and more. And with someone like me, he save me from a possible dark pit of Hell. Giving me the chance to know what real happiness is, to live a real life. And because of that, I chose to become a Traveler too when I was on death's row of old age like two other Travelers before me. Because I have to repay the price that give me this chance in the first place. To repay him, but most importantly. To be the saving and helping hand to others no manner where or who they are. As such I was reborn as a Traveler through the flames of psionic energy. Now forever cursed with immorality and never knowing what death is truly like. But even now it was worth it. More so since I got to meet Grace and Ares after my rebirth. As I was sent to the Hyperion. "So Keaton brought another human into our group." Ares said before snorting. Being his "tough" (and somewhat old anti human) self to see what new Travelers are like for himself before being his normal self. "Another Traveler? Been a few million years or something since we got a new one." Grace said with a big smile on her face, until her cat bat pet thing bit her leg. "Hi... I'm Monika." I replied as I was somewhat scared for a number of reasons. Mainly due to new people and being far too aware of the energy of things. "Have fun, Grace." Ares said before walking away. Grace simply shake her head as she grab her pet. Holding it in her arms to keep it from flying away, or maybe to stop it from biting me... "So, do you know what a Traveler is at all, Monika? Or did Keaton forget to tell you that?" "I know what a Traveler is and what we're suppose to do..." I said, warming up to her a little. "Do you know how to use your psionic energy? How to fight with swords, guns, spears, etc? Or anything else along those lines?" She asked, with her grey eyes filled with warm to go with her smile. Which I replied with shaking my head and saying. "I only know how to be a pro video game player and being a wife..." I couldn't help but look down as I felt she was going to scorn me. But instead she merely came over to me and lift my head up by the chin. "Well that is a good start given how mean the pro scene can be. But don't worry, we'll help you learn what you need to learn." Needless to say they taught me when they could between their lifetimes. Anything from fighting with my fists, to controlling a battleship on my own. Well one of Traveler origins... But mainly they taught me how to use my psionic energy, and the new psionic trait I had with it. Which now as I sit here with my wife Nina next to me, using me as a pillow. I only now realize that my psionic trait was a foreshadow of one of the next Travelers some few hundred thousand years after I was reborn as one. Mainly one who said she would never become a Traveler. And one of the newest Travelers that I didn't help become one, unlike Nina. Which to be honest even now... I still somewhat regret it given the trouble it caused for one I call sister... But I must adapt like before and do what's right. And Nina's story, along with every other Traveler's story of origin is there own. Though Nina's will explain how we got married despite the trouble we went through at the start. Fate is a very funny thing, who is also too much of a sadist.

[thebibliomancer]

Legends Liveblogging: Star Wars: Dark Empire #5

Are you all ready for sexy Palpatine?

BOOK 5: EMPEROR REBORN

As the Emperor’s World Devastators continue to savage the Alliance, Princess Leia and Han Solo embark on a quest to free Luke Skywalker from the grasp of the Dark Side.

With Chewbacca and C-3PO, Han and Leia journey to an ancient spaceport moon, refuge of Corellian smugglers. There they encounter bounty hunter Boba Fett, who survived being swallowed by the Sarlacc on Tatooine.

Thanks to Han’s old friends, Salla Zend and Shug Ninx, the Millennium Falcon and its crew escape to hyperspace aboard Salla’s Starlight Intruder - a hot rod freighter licensed to haul military cargo to the Deep Galactic Core.

Boba Fett pursues the Intruder, but meets disaster over Byss - the Emperor’s throne world - when he attempts to sneak past the planet’s security shields.

Once in port, Leia uses her Jedi powers to guide the Millennium Falcon to the citadel where Luke now reigns as the Emperor’s protege. A vicious fight ensues, but according to plan, Ninx and Salla save the Falcon - and Leia, Han, Chewbacca, and C-3PO allow themselves to be captured.

Brought at last into the presence of Emperor Palpatine and his Supreme Commander Luke Skywalker, Leia makes a valiant attempt to save Luke, using her intensifying control of the Force.

But the Emperor cannot be overcome so easily. He gives Leia a painful demonstration of his ever-expanding power, crowing in triumph that he has finally captured the last of the Jedi!

Well, that’s not even remotely true.

There’s Vima, a dude we’ll meet in Dark Empire II, the guy that becomes Darth Krayt, K’Kruhk and his sweet hat.

Anyway.

We start off with Salla and Ninx. They’re hiding the Falcon inside another freighter called the Hyperspace Marauder. Who taught these smugglers how to name ships.

Salla receives a call from Han requesting pickup but before the Falcon can take off, its detected by an Imperial Hunter-Killer. Which is like a probe droids but huuuuuuuuuuuuuge.

Salla and Ninx try to get away but the Hunter-Killer swallows the Falcon in its hellishly red glowing stomach.

So much for the secret getaway plan.

We cut to Leia being brought to Palpatine’s quarters.

He tells the guards to screw off because he has secrets he can only share with a Jedi.

And that secret is... a glowing cube of vast import!

Also known as a Jedi Holocron.

Jedi Holocrons are cool. Despite being ‘primitive hologram technology’ it seems way more advanced than a lot of stuff in Star Wars. Because a holocron is a record of Jedi history and teachings and also sort of an AI of the Jedi Master that recorded it. The recorded Jedi judges what a person is qualified to hear. In the Jedi Academy trilogy, Luke even remarked that a holocron was withholding stuff even from him, the masteriest Jedi Master in existence.

Leia says that the holocron is a Jedi teaching device and Palpatine has no right to it. Palpatine disagrees. He is currently the master of all the Jedi. As in, Luke and Leia. Womp womp.

Anyway, he puts the holocron back in its holocron pedastal, next to his uncomfortable space bed. And since it doesn’t stop glowing, you’d think that would make it hard to sleep. Because sleep is what he intends to do.

He has Leia ‘help a dying old man into his bed.’ And then pays her back by talking shit at her. He explains that the Dark Side has given him the power to body surf. Although he has used this only to enter his own clones, he can do this to anyone and overshadow their soul.

Strictly hypothetically, he could soul surf into say... yeah. Her unborn child.

(+1 to the womb obsession tally)

Leia reacts predictably to a creepy old man telling her he is going to possess a fetus.

Oh and because she’s rad, she also swipes the holocron on her way out.

Han may be the scoundrel but Leia is the one who rolled a rogue.

There’s seriously nothing funnier than Palpatine laying on the floor in a heap and smirking that all is transpiring as he has foreseen before realizing Leia fucking robbed him.

Anyway, our less rad twin is getting a hand out. Oh, also suppressing information that someone sabotaged three of the World Devastators.

Also, he has jammed R2 full of data. I wonder what in the world devastating data could it be?

Oh and Leia shows up and tells Luke that its been fun but they seriously need to gtfo. She doesn’t mention that she’s been taking everything not nailed down but I think it goes without saying.

But Luke insists that he totally knows what he’s doing. Oh also, her presence helped break the grip of the Dark Side on him. So hey, not a wasted trip!

‘Luke you idiot, the Emperor is toying with you’ she says in not so many words. You can’t become an accessory to a genocide and keep your alignment, probably. I’d have to check the dungeon master’s guide.

But Luke agrees that they can go. He stuffed the master control code and the Emperor’s priority battle plans into R2 so they just need to gather Han and Chewie and find some way out of here.

Meanwhile, in the detention level, Han is cracking an ingenious escape plan. They may be twelve stories up in a doom tower but if Chewie will only let Han shave him, they could braid a rope out of his fur and escape out a window.

But before they can enact that thrilling escape, a Hunter-Killer droid shows up.

The very same one that ate Ninx and Salla in fact! And in fact in fact, the two somehow got inside and hot wired the droid off-panel. They might even be approaching Leia levels of competence.

They use the droid’s weapons to blow a hole in the side of the tower so Han and Chewie can escape. But what a coincidence, Leia and Luke have just shown up too.

... And Leia has another lightsaber? I was joking about her stealing everything not nailed down but damn I think she really did just rob the Emperor blind.

Because I just went and checked. SHE DID NOT HAVE THE LIGHTSABER WHEN SHE WAS TALKING TO THE EMPEROR.

Anyway, Han assumes the worst when he sees Luke but Leia stops him from shooting. Luke promises that with the information he has stolen, the Empire will be finished forever but Han wonders why they don’t just take the Emperor out, y’know, as long as they’re in town.

They don’t get the chance because a security patrol arrives. Ninx sets the Hunter-Killer to auto-fire and everyone escapes on the Falcon just as the tower defenses hit the droid.

But once the Falcon escapes Byss, Luke reveals he pulled a fast one. See, he was never really on the ship. It was but a ruse. He is still on Byss.

He still has one task to accomplish.

Which is why we find him in the Emperor’s clone lab. He’s here to stop the Emperor from moving into a fresh body.

So the Emperor kills himself so he can respawn before Luke can Attack on the Clones.

He does manage to kill all but one though. Although it is that last one that is a problem. A sticky, naked problem.

I had hoped this day would never come but here it is. The lightsaber battle between sexy naked Palpatine who looks like David Bowie and weirdly evil looking Luke.

(Things Palpatine did not think his clones needed: a dick, toes)

Anyway. Maybe he’s too distracted by sexy Palpatine or maybe he’s just not a bad enough dude to beat a sticky newborn in lightsabers but Luke loses. The Emperor knocks the lightsaber out of his hands and knocks his ass to the ground.

But he’s not going to kill him. He’s still betting on Luke submitting to the Dark Side.

But for right now, the Emperor is going to put on some pants, get in his hot rod/war crime, and go get Leia so he can get back his holocron and get him some of that destiny fetus.

Its good to have goals?