#Clint Beaver

[moviesandmania]

AIR FRYER SLAUGHTER Splattery Troma-style comedy horror - trailer

‘Time to fry up some fun!’ Air Fryer Slaughter is a 2024 comedy horror film in which an evil air fryer claims its victims in a Troma-inspired blood bath. Written, directed by and co-starring Matthew Mark Hunter. The MMH Productions movie also stars Matt Skinner, Lloyd Kaufman (natch), Jessa Flux, Riley Wade Chase, Kevin Duffy, Morrigan Thompson, Clint Beaver, Heather Harlow, Angel Nichole…

[flashfuckingflesh]

EVIL Explains EVILThings! "Mansplained" reviewed! (SRS Cinema / DVD)

“Mainsplained” on DVD. Do You Need Me to Explain It To You? Middle class professional Sara has just been mansplained how to be better at her job.  Numb by the experience, the humiliating moment eats at Sara’s sanity like a nagging drip of a leaky pipe.  In fact, drip sounds of a leaky sink invade her mental space as she nonchalantly places a towel and bucket under the constant dribble.  When her…

[themculibrary]

Bucky/Clint Road Trip Fics Masterlist

Americana is for Lovers (ao3) - ccbytheseashore M, 8k

Summary: Please tell me you are still alive, read Steve's text.

In Virginia, Bucky replied.

The hell are you doing in Virginia?

Would you believe me if I said trying to find a foam sculpture of Stonehenge?

Tony said to make sure his car comes back in once piece. Please don't shoot each other.

Clint and Bucky set off on an adventure to find an infamous work of Americana history, but find literally everything else (including love) instead.

Aw, Blood, No (ao3) - Reremouse (TheBelfry) M, 19k

Summary: Being turned into a vampire was never part of Clint “Mr. Actual Ray of Human Sunshine (sometimes)” Barton’s life plan. But they say life is what happens while you’re making other plans, and when an Avengers mission to take out a Hydra base goes disastrously wrong, Clint comes out of the fray undead.

Unfortunately for Clint, SHIELD has guidelines to deal with agents who have been turned into vampires: bring them in, or take them out. Fortunately, Bucky is both well-versed in vampires (Hydra—what are you going to do?) and evading SHIELD. Fortunately, Bucky is both well-versed in vampires (Hydra—what are you going to do?) and evading SHIELD.

And sometimes “I’m your hostage. Get moving,” is the way Bucky says “I love you.”

blank passivity (i'm hiding my shit-eating grin) (ao3) - WHYISEVERYNAMETAKEN T, 21k

Summary: Upon being handed a mission that includes a tiny car, a cross-country roadtrip, and also, oh yeah, the Winter Soldier, Clint can honestly say that he's not having a great time. Adding in the fact that Barnes doesn't even want to talk to him has Clint preparing himself for the longest drive of his life.

(Clint is also pretty sure that Captain America hates him, but that's neither here nor there.)

OR

If I had a nickel for every time [Bucky took a picture with a beaver], I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice -Dr. Doofenshmirtz

crying wolf out to the moon (ao3) - shatteredhourglass T, 3k

Summary: Clint decides it's a good idea to drag Bucky on a road trip on the day of the full moon. Bucky's too weak for Clint to deny him anything, even if it is in fact, a goddamn terrible idea.

drive ‘n whine (ao3) - hawksonfire G, 1k

Summary: Bucky’s been stuck in the Tower for too long, so Clint does something about it.

Liminal Spaces (ao3) - thepartyresponsible M, 20k

Summary: “Clint,” Steve says, and it’s that same no-bullshit, do-or-die, I really, really mean it voice he used to trot out in the last few innings of close games in high school. “Bucky’s not gonna fly. He’s not going to drive himself. He can’t— I need you to drive him here.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Clint says, and hangs up.

Runaways (ao3) - madetobeworthy G, 1k

Summary: Sometimes Bucky needs to be gone, and sometimes Clint goes with him. They don't need to speak, just listen to the radio as the car devours the miles ahead of them.

see the stars come out of the sky (ao3) - veryrach M, 11k

Summary: “Arrested, yeah, I remember. How the hell do you have ten grand in cash - no, you know what, don’t tell me, forget I asked,” Clint says resignedly. “So let me get this straight. You want me to drive all the way out to Niagara Falls, pick up what I’m sure is a totally legit random bag of cash from somewhere, use it to bail you out, and drive all the way back.”

In which Bucky helps Clint help Barney. There’s a road trip, slightly inept fumbling of the emotional and physical varieties, and a bit with a dog.

the search for clint (ao3) - pherryt G, 2k

Summary: It’s a long road Bucky’s on, and he can only hope Clint is at the end of it.

The Start of Something (ao3) - kookykoi T, 1k

Summary: Bucky had the bright idea of going on a road trip. Clint had the brighter idea of going with him.

worse than a motel 6 (ao3) - spiralsystem T, 7k

Summary: Nat and Clint are assigned to take down the remaining Hydra bases on the outskirts of civilization, the ones that the others clearly don’t have time for. Oh well, road trip for Clint! Until Nat, Clint, and the one person Clint Really wanted to avoid, run into each other at the shadiest motel Clint has ever seen.

you’re my best friend (ao3) - pherryt G, 9k

Summary: Clint and Bucky need to go on a road trip to get to their next mission which Clint figures is the best way to get to know Bucky even better. It goes better than planned!

[verdemoun]

What happens to camps in modern au? I can definitely see a few becoming tourist attractions. Shady Belle is Shady Belle, this was talked about a million times. But Clemens Point, for example? A calm lake, with a few bridges built, maybe for fishermen? A camping spot with just a few small buildings?

Beaver Hollow, now part of a legally protected forest? I don't mean national park, I'm 99% sure there was a phrase for that. But I think it'd be healing for someone (cough) Charles and Arthur (cough) to go on a hike, looking for Beaver hollow and spending some time there. The cave is probably sealed off due to safety, but probably with a tall fence or something. But the clearing is there. The memories are painful. But it's healing to see it so peaceful. No fights, no fire, no tents that'd remind them of that awful camp.

I think horseshoe overlook wouldn't share that fate though. It's close to a railroad. It probably became one of these small stations in the middle of nowhere (idk we have a lot of those here), but i doubt it'd just be left like that. Especially with limpany close. Maybe it's torn down, or reconstructed as a small tourist attraction in the middle of nowhere. I hc that Valentine is still a relatively small town. Sure, it grew a bit like most towns do, but it's still just a small town. Close enough to Limpany that people go there on a trip, and horseshoe overlook becomes a really cute scenic viewpoint? Something like that.

Colter is in the mountains. No sane person would do much with it. Hikers go there, sure. Maybe some- and i shit you not i just spent 5 minutes trying to remember the name. Maybe those are just a slavic thing. But these small cafes/hotels that are in the middle of a trail for people to rest up? Those? Something near colter? I can see that happening.

GUARMA. GUARMA IS A TOURIST ATTRACTION NOWADAYS AND NO YOU CANNOT CONVINCE ME IT'S NOT.

All of your asks are like a 1v1 where I have to write more than you.

Clemens Point becomes a very kitschy beach and tourist attraction for its naturally calm water, with long piers/bridges letting you walk out to most of the islands (with massive environmental impacts, the iguana population wiped out, and the islands themselves little more than sandbars) . Almost the entire shoreline has a timber walking platform. The field that once housed Clint and Clive's livestock sales is now a beachside campground instead of the point itself. At the point itself there are public bbqs and a viewing platform with a tiny plaque saying that 'Dutch's gang' were believed to have camped there in the early era.

Beaver Hollow is a nature preserve! Even Elysium Lake still looks semi-natural with the exception of a few lake-side holiday homes owned by millionaires who could afford to build on such hellishly sloped terrain. Arthur was mortified to learn people were swimming in the lake. While seeing the wilderness and trail trees nearby still growing, untouched and in place, was comforting, the cave itself has become a hiking hotspot and is well-lit with walking ropes and guided tours. It was very uncomfortable to see an overly enthusiastic man in his late teens give a speech about how it was believed the VDLs used the cave as an escape during the legendary assault on Beaver Hollow. But Charles and Arthur found peace hiding the mountain that had been the site of Arthur's last stand, which is now called the Arthur's Seat trail. They got to sit together amongst the red flowers where Arthur had once taken his last breath, share a bottle of whiskey, and then hike back down knowing they could go home to their little cluttered house and the gang waiting for them.

Horseshoe Overlook is private land, with someone building a McMansion on the site. The gang can no longer access it, but they looked at the property on google maps and were delighted to tell Kieran the tree he was tied to has been torn down. There is no mention of the VDLs having ever been at Horseshoe Overlook, but the bar in Valentine that Cornwall cornered them at is still standing and is very much a hotspot for vanderlindonians (middle-aged men who obsess over the gang).

Colter somehow became a ski lodge with only the original church restored and graves (including Davey's) still standing. There is also a plaque saying it is believed the VDLs had stayed in the area while escaping the law in 1899. Jack and Isaac took a selfie with it, even though Jack was too young to remember and Isaac - well, wasn't there. Isaac proceeded to break his arm skiing.

You make a literature major look at a map, you bastard. Guarma we know is the second island east of Cuba. Looking at maps, cross referencing the history of island sugar plantations, Guarma was most likely based off Puerto Rico. So yes it is absolutely a tourist destination. Dutch went with Habitat for Humanity (under Annabelle's supervision) and still complained about the humidity. Bill and Mac went on a romantic getaway only for Bill to hate it and want to go home. Javier and Kieran went and absolutely loved it (Kieran was drunk the entire trip and flexed his spanish (while drunk (which was... not good))). Arthur and Charles took Isaac and proceeded to lose him multiple times to bars and dances. By the end of the trip they kept him on a monkey backpack. Charles made many jokes about Arthur's complaints about Guarma and Arthur complained in response that it was very different back then.

[winterhawk-ao3feed]

blank passivity (i'm hiding my shit-eating grin)

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/54536521

by Anonymous

Upon being handed a mission that includes a tiny car, a cross-country roadtrip, and also, oh yeah, the Winter Soldier, Clint can honestly say that he's not having a great time. Adding in the fact that Barnes doesn't even want to talk to him has Clint preparing himself for the longest drive of his life.

(Clint is also pretty sure that Captain America hates him, but that's neither here nor there.)

OR

If I had a nickel for every time [Bucky took a picture with a beaver], I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice -Dr. Doofenshmirtz

Words: 21784, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies), Hawkeye (Comics)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes, Steve Rogers, Tony Stark

Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes & Clint Barton, James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, Avengers Team Members & Clint Barton

Additional Tags: Canon Divergence - Post-Movie: Captain America: Civil War (2016), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It for Movie: Captain America: Civil War (2016), (does it count as a fix it if the fixing occurs 3 to 4 years later), Found Family, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Humor, Bucky's morbid sense of humor catches everyone off guard, Bucky Barnes Being a Little Shit, Clint Barton Being a Little Shit, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Pining, Pining Clint Barton, Clint doesn't realize he's pining but he totally is, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Clint Barton, they're mutually protective of each other its cute i swear, Getting to Know Each Other, the longest game of "would you rather" ever, Coworkers to friends, Strangers to Friends to Lovers, Crack Treated Seriously, Roadtrips, Communication, No character bashing, even if it seems like that at first, their love language is calling each other assholes and also quality time (i don't make the rules), Implied/Referenced Abuse, Bucky Barnes-centric, Clint Barton-centric

https://archiveofourown.org/works/54536521

[xprojectrpg]

This Day in X-Project - April 7

2015: Kevin encounters Warren on the roof and is less than impressed and makes no attempt to hide it.

2016: Garrison points out that as it is both International Beer Day and International Beaver Day, he’ll be having a parade in his own honour down to Harry’s. Matt emails Clint asking if there’s anything he should know about Natasha, as he just ran into her in the city.

2017:

2018: Ready or Not: The kids prepare to go into the game; once inside, things go wrong very quickly, and they realize they can't escape; a news report drops about the game going haywire; Wade texts Doug about the game problem; another reports says they're looking for an engineer who was on the game, and is suspected of tampering with it; in the game, the GenX kids find another player and team up; the kids team up to fight the game and break free; one last news report updates on the final death count, the players being freed, and Marcus Seed being in custody; the real mastermind behind the game malfunction contemplates the events of the day; Clea asks Doug about finding the friend they made in game. Reed posts about wanting to speak with one of the survivors. Maya declares she'll never play another VR game again.

2019: Clarice posts music.

2020: Alex announces he’s cleaning out closets and apologises for inadvertent laundry theft.

2021: A Fistful of Nanites: On a nature hike, Maya suddenly collapses in pain and Arthur calls in Clarice; in the medlab, Clarice has to restrain Maya and give her morphine to calm her down; Clarice posts to the medlab staff about Maya’s condition and that it seems to be related to her cochlear implants; in the Danger Room, Garrison and Kitty are overseeing a mixed group training; the group begins with Plants v Zombies, but something goes wrong when Garrison and Kitty realise they’ve been locked out of the controls; Garrison lets the teams know the DR is malfunctioning; inside the Danger Room, Artie and Sue are in a space station, Wanda and Betsy are in the Wild West and Alex and Alison are in a musical - all three groups are being attacked by the Danger Room without restraint; Garrison and Molly try to open the doors manually, but Garrison’s omni-skin reacts to something and he loses his clothes while Molly identifies the problem - very familiar nanites; back in the Danger Room control room, Garrison and Kitty contact the untested Danger Room AI in order to fight the nanite invasion; Gabriel, Kurt and Sooraya have to break into the Security Rooms to shut down systems and trigger the evacuation alarm; Darcy posts to reiterate the need to evacuate immediately; Nica runs into Natasha and they go down into the labs to help, finding Matt and Bobby there already; they manage to slow down the creation of a robot in the labs and Nica discovers she can see the nanites with her powers and she and Natasha track them to the lake; Scott and Logan discover the Blackbird has been targeted and Scott is joined by Jean-Phillipe and Arthur in an attempt to EMP the jet’s systems in flight to prevent the plane being used against them; as the jet has a crash landing, Emma, Angelo and Meggan rush to the aid of those on board; Hope A., Stephen and Ty keep the nanites out of Avalon; Marie-Ange gives Jubilee a dangerous package to get out of the mansion asap; Nica posts en route to the lake about her discovery; Darcy and Laurie are evacuating the medlabs when Laurie’s arm is infected and attacks Darcy, who has to tase them both to remove it; Terry helps Jean to prep supplies in a hurry and Clarice uses a portable EMP to de-nanite Maya and get her out of the medlab; Nica and Natasha are joined by Kyle, Topaz and Molly and do their best to keep the villain - the Fixer in a robot body - from getting into the mansion and its tech; with the help of Viv, the Danger Room AI, those trapped in the Danger Room are able to join forces and break their way out (with Garrison and a prybar on the other side of the door); Doug refuses to evacuate and instead attempts to merge with the nanites and use his powers to reprogram them; Marie-Ange texts Emma and Jean from Doug’s phone to warn them he’ll need emergency aid; Emma telepathically assists Doug even as she heads to the Blackbird crash; Doug manages to override the Fixer’s control of the nanites, but loses half of his arm in the process; Jean is there to assist when he comes out of the labs; Felicia posts to Instagram about being evacuated; Topaz posts an update to the teams, explaining she was able to break the psionic connection between Fixer - who is somewhere else - and his robot body, and asks for super-sensed people to help track down the last of the nanites; Kyle, Logan and Matt clean up any remaining swarms, with the Cuckoos assisting telepathically from the safety of a hotel room, Fixer returns to Zemo with the bad news, which is not well received.

2022: Sarah and Darcy have a nice moment outside. Pytor posts regrets about training and drinking with Kyle.

2023:

[cultfaction]

Ebola Rex is coming this June!

Ebola Rex is coming this June!

This June, beware the diseased dinosaur! Starring screen veteran Mel Novak (Game of Death, An Eye for an Eye), and directed by Dustin Ferguson, Ebola Rex sees an infected T-Rex escaping from a Science Lab in downtown Los Angeles, destroying everything in its path! Clint Beaver, Shawn C. Phillips, and Mike Ferguson star opposite Ebola Rex, stomping onto DVD and Digital June 8th 2021 from Wild Eye…

[soupy-harry]

Clint Eastwood during lifeguard training classes at Beaver Lake, Sammamish Plateau, 1953 [X]

[mochapao]

animal crossing x stardew valley!

for interspecies family members i decided the kid takes a random species from either parent (so caroline was lucky abigail did not turn out to be a lion lol)

some extra stuff rolling in my brain but too much to draw:

-

-

-

leah- sisterly squirrel

elliott- smug horse

harvey- lazy bear

maru- sisterly owl

penny- normal cat

pam- peppy cow

robin- normal bird (robin ofc)

demetrius- cranky owl

marnie- sisterly sheep

jas- normal rabbit

shane- cranky chicken

jodi- normal kangaroo

vincent- jock kangaroo (baby)

kent- cranky wolf

lewis- lazy koala

linus- lazy tiger

willy- lazy beaver

clint- cranky rhino

gus- lazy hippo

[soyala23]

Clint Barton’s Family

I’m just here sharing my two cents that no one asked for. I read a post where someone wrote people are starting to like Clint having a family and that the only reason people where against it originally was because a group of fans were too vocal that their OTP wasn’t canon [that’s such an oversimplification]. Fans for years, no matter what the fandom, complain and nitpick on how Hollywood handles their favorite characters so it’s unfair to target a group of fans for doing the same. Fans have the right to their opinions/feelings and shouldn’t be attacked for it.

My initial issues with the Barton fam, outside its awkwardness and randomness, were primarily how it crippled MCU Barton’s character. The Hawkeye series keeps taking a dig, at Clint, suggesting Hawkeye has a branding issue … really? I think not.

The truth is a lot of MCU fans never got to really know who Clint was. [Honestly, I think MCU hates Clint for some reason. Like where was Clint in CAWS when it’s about the fall of SHIELD? Whatever. MCU seems to only support heroes with flashy powers or tech imo.]

I guess ...I can get MCU’s attempt of using the family as Clint’s cornerstone, his impetus in becoming Ronin and doing whatever it took to get them back, after Thanos, but creating this family also came with consequences. Early on as soon as the family appeared, his wife wanted him to retire (as early as the 2nd Avengers movie) because they were having another child.

This took Clint out of the Avenger picture and forced him to be the least used original Avenger member… like taking house arrest because it was too hard on his family. I wasn’t thrilled about that. Clint essentially only made a guest appearance in Civil War and was completely absent in Infinity Wars. General fans didn’t have the time to connect with Hawkeye because he wasn’t there enough. It also makes you wonder how MCU Clint previously worked as an assassin and a spy, being gone months at a time, killing people, and still making it back home to be the leave it to beaver dad, but being an Avenger is now a problem. This didn’t make sense to me but that’s what you get with a choppy storyline.

Okay, so they gave him a family…but a 1950s family? Joss Whedon stated he wanted Clint to be different and normal [what’s normal anyways] compared to the other Avengers. So does normal equates to having a cookie-cutter family with a white picket fence living in a small town where the ever so polite kids can be raised with good morals? Are we returning to this old-fashion narrative to what an ideal family is because I can’t relate to it. [Is this why MCU made Natasha feel less than because she couldn’t have kids or like she should sacrifice herself because she had nothing to lose (i.e a traditional family)? I won’t go down this rabbit hole but that is pretty fucked up for the modern era.

Shoot me but I like my characters darker and more complicated …sorry. Clint has just as much blood on his hands as does Natasha. Clint overcame a lot from his own broken family growing up. Bottom-line, there is so much to Clint that I didn’t think he needed a family to define his character, in the first place.

If you are going to keep going with this family narrative, it’s about time MCU added a little tension and some complexities. I love the scene with Clint and his youngest on the phone in Ep 3. I would have to be pretty heartless not to find this scene so emotional. Any decent parent will tell you that your kids matter most over any other relationship, so I get it. Now we see Clint alone without Natasha, SHIELD, and the Avengers so all he has left is his kids. Vulnerable Clint makes me sad. Here is a guy who is so used to being in control and now he is emotionally defenseless as he must figure out who he is, deal with being HOH, and rebuild his relationship with his kids. This scene did a great job portraying all these emotions with him breaking down and being forced to rely on the help from a young girl, he just met.

On the other hand, it bothers me that the kids keep guilt tripping Clint so hard. Clint was the one who lost precious time with his kids but for them they didn’t lose a second. He literally was on house arrest with his family, for 2 years before the snap, but they act like he is a deadbeat dad who was never around (okay idk what happened those 2 years after endgame though). Clint already spent alone time when the kids for holiday activities. I was like your dad almost died bringing you guys back… when he’s trying so hard and loves you guys more than anything. Makes me annoyed at the older kids because I can understand the little one not getting it. The kids are SO lucky, and Clint is actually a pretty great dad. He sacrificed so much for you kids, c’mon.

When it comes to Laura Barton, I’ll say this (before someone shoots me down). I respect Laura Barton’s character. She is (too) sweet but strong for she must be to essentially raise her family on her own while her husband was off being an assassin, a shield agent, and then an Avenger. Like I already said, I like characters who are more realistic and complex. It just bothers me that no matter what happens, Laura has a smile plastered on her face like everything is fine. I’m a woman and none of my girlfriends would show that much blind support and trust instead of some marital strain (that would be real and not necessarily a bad thing). Clint is not the same person he was pre-blip but Clint and Laura just picked up where they left off like nothing’s changed?

I’m not sorry to say I feel that the deep emotional bond (you can define this however you want because labels do not matter) between Clint and Natasha is a lot stronger than I feel Clint has with his wife. (Real life is complicated folks so it’s not a big deal.) I go with what feels natural to me. That’s not my fault… you can blame this on the poor character development from MCU. I need something more than just Laura’s existence to prove otherwise, but it seems now after 6 years they are changing Laura’s character (especially if she is who a lot of people think she is thus creating a new character angle). At least this makes me feel validated that the MCU also realized there were flaws they wanted to fix. I’m curious to see what they do with Laura, but no offense to Laura and even Kate (love her though) but neither can compare to Natasha. Like Clint said Natasha was the best that ever was.

Honestly, I think MCU likes messing and teasing both fandoms to keep all parties interested. I mean why would they juxtapose these two scenes back-to-back in the Hawkeye episode of Legends, prior to the launch of the Hawkeye series. (you can check for yourself)

Hawkeye is so good. I love how Clint is finally able to show his skills. The occasional sweetness is fine, but Jonathan Igla admitted he was inspired by Hallmark Movies (I dread those movies). I feel like even though my emotions are being tugged at endlessly, I don’t know where they are going with this. I’m hoping for a not so sweet/happy ending. I like drama. Just don’t make Clint a supporting character in his own show.

Some people will agree with all of it, some of it, or none of it. Others won’t even care. Let’s just agree to disagree.

Thanks for letting me rant. gifs from @theavengers, @nia-s-not-so-secret-diary, @clintfbarton, @rizahawkais @agentholland @mercury-is-a-planet​ and those that are uncredited

[durbanrifools]

Binnie Beaver: You are the worst person I met on Clint City.

Casagrande: You are deaf to the sins of this world.

[moviesandmania]

TEDDISCARE Mark Polonia's toy bear trash

Teddiscare is a 2024 American horror film about a young man who spirals into insanity after his father’s death. He lapses into childish nightmares that bring his fears to adult life. The mind can be deadly, but toys can be killer… This is presumably intended as a micro-budget cash-in on Imaginary and the Winnie-the-Pooh: Blood and Honey horror hit. The movie was written and directed by Mark…

[probablynotaninja]

Picture this-Avengers Narnia AU

Loki as The White Witch, Nicky Fury as Aslan. Coulson as Mister Tumnus. Steve as Peter Pevensie, Clint as Susan, Tony as Edmund, and Natasha as Lucy. Thor and Bruce as The Beavers. 

[themovieworldaccordingtotps]

WORST MOVIES OF 2020

1.     Angry Asian Murder Hornets Director: Dustin Ferguson Cast: Clint Beaver, Jarad Allen, Elizabeth Barstow Critic’s Notes: There have been many cheap COVID-exploitation movies that popped out last year. And this is perhaps the worst since its less-than-80-minutes running time is filled with disconnected old trailers and ads.   2.     Artemis Fowl Director: Kenneth Branagh Cast: Ferdia Shaw, Lara McDonnell, Josh Gad, Tamara Smart, Nonso Anozie. Colin Farrell, Judi Dench Critic’s Notes: Eion Colfer’s YA series is an intriguing antihero’s journey. So, of course, Disney butchered its adaptation with a hastily packaged fantasy that diluted Artemis’ menacing personality and failed capturing its “Die Hard with fairies” setup.   3.     Bobbleheads The Movie Director: Kirk Wise Cast: Cher, Jennifer Coolidge, Hala Finley, Karen Fukuhara, Khary Payton, Julian Sands, Brenda Song, Luke Wilson Critic’s Notes: From the producers of Foodfight. It is what you expect. But this is more painful to watch, as it contains the most nightmare-inducing final dance scene in an animated movie.   4.     Dolittle Director: Stephen Gaghan Cast: Robert Downey Jr., Antonio Banderas, Michael Sheen, Emma Thompson, Rami Malek, John Cena, Kumail Nanjiani, Octavia Spencer, Tom Holland, Craig Robinson, Ralph Fiennes, Selena Gomez, Marion Cotillard, Jason Mantzoukas Critic’s Notes: With cast and prestige like that, one can expect a true Oscar caliber. However, it is in a family adventure bomb with an embarrassed Downey Jr. phoning it in.   5.     Fantasy Island Director: Jeff Wadlow Cast: Michael Peña, Maggie Q, Lucy Hale, Austin Stowell, Jimmy O. Yang, Ryan Hansen, Portia Doubleday, Michael Rooker Critic’s Notes: Blumhouse’s take on the classic Ricardo Montalban TV series does not bear its charm or subtleties. Instead, expect a snore-worthy version of Truth Or Dare.   6.     Force of Nature Director: Michael Polish Cast: Emile Hirsch, Kate Bosworth, Mel Gibson, David Zayas, Stephanie Cayo Critic’s Notes: Force of Nature makes The Hurricane Heist look like The Impossible. And the presence of one Mel Gibson makes it a droning sit.   7.     Homeward Director: Michael Johnson Cast: Joey Lawrence, James Cullen Bressack, Kim Little, D.C. Douglas, Dylan Vox, Jamey Rimawi, Tom Green Critic’s Notes: Of course, The Asylum is active in bringing mockbusters. And out of their animated rip-offs, Homeward bears the most egregious resemblance to its superior source, Onward.   8.     Songbird Director: Adam Mason Cast: KJ Apa, Sofia Carson, Craig Robinson, Bradley Whitford, Peter Stormare, Alexandra Daddario, Paul Walter Hauser, Demi Moore Critic’s Notes: This is Michael Bay’s COVID-exploitation movie. So, it obviously contains numbing action scenes and tedious subplots in-between. Plus, given the situation, Songbird is tasteless.   9.     The Last Days of American Crime Director: Olivier Megaton Cast: Édgar Ramírez, Michael Pitt, Anna Brewster, Patrick Bergin, Sharlto Copley Critic’s Notes: There have been many movies last year that were released in bad timing. This actioner that glorifies its lawless violence is one of them. And it is best left rotting.

10.  The Last Thing He Wanted Director: Dee Rees Cast: Anne Hathaway, Ben Affleck, Rosie Perez, Edi Gathegi, Mel Rodriguez. Toby Jones, Willem Dafoe Critic’s Notes: A pure disappointment, given the huge talent on and behind the camera, The Last Thing He Wanted adapted an enriching source material about journalism and does nothing with it. Ironically, the title is enough a sign. Dishonorable Mentions: Christmas in the Rockies, Come Away, A Fall From Grace, Hillbilly Elegy, Wild Mountain Thyme

[xprojectrpg]

This Day In X-Project - April 7

PHASE 2

2015: Kevin encounters Warren on the roof and is less than impressed and makes no attempt to hide it.

2016: Garrison points out that as it is both International Beer Day and International Beaver Day, he’ll be having a parade in his own honour down to Harry’s. Matt emails Clint asking if there’s anything he should know about Natasha, as he just ran into her in the city.

2017:

2018: Ready or Not: The kids prepare to go into the game; once inside, things go wrong very quickly, and they realize they can't escape; a news report drops about the game going haywire; Wade texts Doug about the game problem; another reports says they're looking for an engineer who was on the game, and is suspected of tampering with it; in the game, the GenX kids find another player and team up; the kids team up to fight the game and break free; one last news report updates on the final death count, the players being freed, and Marcus Seed being in custody; the real mastermind behind the game malfunction contemplates the events of the day; Clea asks Doug about finding the friend they made in game. Reed posts about wanting to speak with one of the survivors. Maya declares she'll never play another VR game again.

2019: Clarice posts music.

2020: Alex announces he’s cleaning out closets and apologises for inadvertent laundry theft.

2021: A Fistful of Nanites: On a nature hike, Maya suddenly collapses in pain and Arthur calls in Clarice; in the medlab, Clarice has to restrain Maya and give her morphine to calm her down; Clarice posts to the medlab staff about Maya’s condition and that it seems to be related to her cochlear implants; in the Danger Room, Garrison and Kitty are overseeing a mixed group training; the group begins with Plants v Zombies, but something goes wrong when Garrison and Kitty realise they’ve been locked out of the controls; Garrison lets the teams know the DR is malfunctioning; inside the Danger Room, Artie and Sue are in a space station, Wanda and Betsy are in the Wild West and Alex and Alison are in a musical - all three groups are being attacked by the Danger Room without restraint; Garrison and Molly try to open the doors manually, but Garrison’s omni-skin reacts to something and he loses his clothes while Molly identifies the problem - very familiar nanites; back in the Danger Room control room, Garrison and Kitty contact the untested Danger Room AI in order to fight the nanite invasion; Gabriel, Kurt and Sooraya have to break into the Security Rooms to shut down systems and trigger the evacuation alarm; Darcy posts to reiterate the need to evacuate immediately; Nica runs into Natasha and they go down into the labs to help, finding Matt and Bobby there already; they manage to slow down the creation of a robot in the labs and Nica discovers she can see the nanites with her powers and she and Natasha track them to the lake; Scott and Logan discover the Blackbird has been targeted and Scott is joined by Jean-Phillipe and Arthur in an attempt to EMP the jet’s systems in flight to prevent the plane being used against them; as the jet has a crash landing, Emma, Angelo and Meggan rush to the aid of those on board; Hope, Stephen and Ty keep the nanites out of Avalon; Marie-Ange gives Jubilee a dangerous package to get out of the mansion asap; Nica posts en route to the lake about her discovery; Darcy and Laurie are evacuating the medlabs when Laurie’s arm is infected and attacks Darcy, who has to tase them both to remove it; Terry helps Jean to prep supplies in a hurry and Clarice uses a portable EMP to de-nanite Maya and get her out of the medlab; Nica and Natasha are joined by Kyle, Topaz and Molly and do their best to keep the villain - the Fixer in a robot body - from getting into the mansion and its tech; with the help of Viv, the Danger Room AI, those trapped in the Danger Room are able to join forces and break their way out (with Garrison and a prybar on the other side of the door); Doug refuses to evacuate and instead attempts to merge with the nanites and use his powers to reprogram them; Marie-Ange texts Emma and Jean from Doug’s phone to warn them he’ll need emergency aid; Emma telepathically assists Doug even as she heads to the Blackbird crash; Doug manages to override the Fixer’s control of the nanites, but loses half of his arm in the process; Jean is there to assist when he comes out of the labs; Felicia posts to Instagram about being evacuated; Topaz posts an update to the teams, explaining she was able to break the psionic connection between Fixer - who is somewhere else - and his robot body, and asks for super-sensed people to help track down the last of the nanites; Kyle, Logan and Matt clean up any remaining swarms, with the Cuckoos assisting telepathically from the safety of a hotel room, Fixer returns to Zemo with the bad news, which is not well received.

2022: Sarah and Darcy have a nice moment outside. Pytor posts regrets about training and drinking with Kyle.

[mysterioh]

BUSTED - b.b. 

PAIRING: PROFESSOR! BUCKY X READER

SUMMARY: Nat asks you about a certain contact by the name of “Bucky Boo Bear 🐻💖💕💗” and gets the surprise of a lifetime.

A/N: hi hi! so I was in a professor bucky mood and made this cute little drabble!

PART 1  | PART 2 

bonus #1: that one time your friend invaded your privacy

Nat chucked her keys into the bowl set on the table by the door with an exasperated groan. She kicked off her shoes and dropped her bag, letting it fall wherever it landed. She was dead tired and ready to keel over right there in the middle of the hallway. She made a mental note to herself to never double up on shifts. The money wasn’t worth it.

She trudged along the wooden floor of the hallway and stops at the sound of a low groan coming from your room. The door was closed, so she couldn’t see anything. Her first thought was that you must have fried your brain from always studying, but quickly changed the minute you said Bucky’s name. 

 "Some engineer you are,“ you sneered. 

 "This isn’t a part of being an engineer.“ 

 "It is,” you replied. “You suck at this." 

 "I’m doing my best, okay?" 

 Nat raised a brow in curiosity about what was happening behind the closed door. 

 "Just stick it in there,” you ordered. 

 "What do you think I’m doing?“ he retorted. 

 Natasha’s eyes opened wide as she pressed her ear against the door. Her sleepiness disappeared in an instant.  

 Bucky groaned in exasperation. "It’s tight. It won’t fit." 

 Natasha’s cheeks burn a bright red, redder than her hair. You couldn’t be doing what she thought you were doing. No, no, not you. That could never happen. The two of you made it a rule to keep the one-night stands and horny boyfriends out of the house. Although it was more for Natasha than you. 

 "Just wiggle it in there,” you replied with a sigh.

 Bucky grunted. “I’m trying to.” She could hear an effort of pushing something into something and she hoped it wasn’t what she thought it was. 

 "How about we both push at the same time?“ you asked. "It’ll be easier then." 

 Nat’s mouth parted in amazement. She didn’t know you could be so bold in bed. 

 "It’s gonna break like that,” Bucky deadpanned. 

 "It won’t,“ you sighed. "Alright on the count of three. One." 

 Unable to handle it any longer, Nat quickly slams the door wide open. "What the hell is happening in here?!?!” she shouted at the two of you, before completely going silent. 

 The scene in front of her was not what she expected. You and Bucky were sitting on the floor of your room holding a model airplane together. You were holding the entire place while Bucky was holding on of the wing that wasn’t fitting. The floor was scattered with various pieces with an instruction book laying wide open in front of you. 

The two of you look at the redhead in confusion and amusement while she stood extremely embarrassed. 

 "Uh, hey, Nat,“ you smiled, puzzled. "Everything alright?" 

 Nat stood straight as if to show she was completely fine. "Yeah everything’s great,” she murmured. 

 "You sure?“ Bucky asked. "You look kinda flushed." 

 "Mind your own business, geek,” she snapped at him. “What are you even doing here?" 

 "Bucky is helping me with a Physics project. We’re learning about 2D Projectile Motion,” you explained. 

 "What did you think we were doing?“ Bucky chuckled as if he knew exactly what Nat was thinking.

 "N-nothing,” she turned from them. “Y/N, why did you bring him here?" 

"Because I left my kit at home so I thought it would just be easier if we did it here." 

"You can’t invite him over to our house!" 

"I don’t see why I can’t,” you shrugged. 

 "He’s our professor!“

 "He’s my boyfriend,” you stated. 

 "Stop, don’t say that.“ Nat turned around, weaving her hands into her hair in stress. "I’m still trying to pretend you aren’t with this loser." 

 "Well I am whether you like it or not,” you replied nonchalantly. 

 "Tell him to leave,“ she ordered. 

 "No,” you said flatly. 

 "Why not?“ she whined. 

 "He’s helping me,” you retorted. “Besides I don’t complain when you’re eating out Clint’s face on the sofa every Friday night." 

 "That’s different!" 

 "It isn’t,” Bucky piped up. 

 "You stay out of this. It has nothing to do with you.“ 

 "This is a democratic household, Nat. Everyone has a voice,” you replied. 

 "I can’t believe you’re siding with him! Whatever happened to sisters before misters?“ she yelled, feeling betrayed. 

 "Nat, I love you but I love Bucky too.”

 Bucky chuckles, feeling warm inside while Nat gags at the sight of him. “He’s not leaving anytime soon is he?" 

 You shake your head and she lets out a shriek of annoyance. "Fine,” she huffs. “This door better stay open at all times. Do you hear me?” You let out an exasperated groan. “Don’t you dare roll your eyes at me! And you, beaver face, don’t try anything because I will not hesitate to kick your ass." 

 "I’ll try my best,” Bucky gives her a grin. “Thanks for having me over." 

 "You’re not welcome,” she groans. “I’m going to sleep so you better keep it down and G-rated here. You hear me?" 

 "Yes, mom, I’ll make sure of it,” you chuckled along with Bucky. 

 Nat rolled her eyes as she walked out of your room. “Dorks,” she mumbled. 

Bucky waited until he heard Nat slam the door to her room. 

“Sooo,” he said, reading the manual with a quizzical brow. “You gonna tell her about the couch,” he chuckled wickedly. 

A vein in your head popped and the next thing he knew there was a plane crashing into his face. 

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