#Clifford Road car park

[insidecroydon]

Norbury and Norwood Junction council car parks to be sold off

CROYDON IN CRISIS: Town Hall reporter KEN LEE on how 157 Brick by Brick flats in Coulsdon were sold below the market rate, as the council continues to overspend on Mayor Perry’s unbalanced budget Property speculation: council car parks in Norwood Junction and Norbury are among 13 properties listed for sale Anything that is not nailed down is being put up for sale by cash-strapped Croydon Council,…

[writersdare]

Don't Be a Stranger | Michael Clifford

Pairing: Michael Clifford x Reader (she/her)

Summary: The tour was over, and Michael and Y/N finally met again. Both were uncertain who they were to each other after months being apart.

Warning: slight angst

Word Count: 1 097

Author's Note: Just a small episode that popped into my head the other days. Hopefully you'll like it! Also, requests are open and encouraged ♡

The cold air hit the lungs as Michael left the airport and saw her. She was standing next to a greasy column numbered “four”, wrapping in a dark blue jacket and holding a black one for him. Y/N was shifting from foot to foot, trying to keep herself warm as he landed later than they expected, and she had to wait there longer than necessary. She could come back to a car she parked nearby, but stupidly felt like if she’d keep stare at the exit, Mike would appear earlier.

A short smile sparkled on his face as he came closer and hugged the girl tight. Y/N only sighed and closed the eyes, nuzzling his shoulder. They kept silence just for a moment but for some reason it felt like eternity. None of them felt happiness from seeing each other, or better to say the sadness simply was stronger that night.

She was tired. He knew she was, and he could tell that not just by her sleepy eyes and messy hair. He could tell that by her replies that became shorter through the weeks being apart and by the hug at that particular moment while she was barely touching his back. 

Y/N knew it was vividly his fault, and she knew what she was getting into by dating him. They just didn’t expect it to be that hard, apparently. Three months apart, less than a week together, and five more months separated. Were they even in relationships at all? 

“Hey,” Michael finally said quietly, not expecting his voice to be so hoarse. The guy broke the hug and took the jacket from her, feeling rather uncertain if he could even leave a kiss on his girlfriend’s lips. He still saw a person he loved in front of him, and he only hoped he didn’t look alien to her after months being away from each other.

“Hey,” she smiled in the same sad manner and gave a short smack on his lips herself. The taste still was able to awake little butterflies in the stomach. Y/N wanted to say many things, how she missed him or how she hated them being apart, but instead the girl silently turned to the car, being ready to head home with him.

“I’ll drive,” Michael said and hurried up to the driver’s side after putting his suitcase and a backpack in a trunk. He was drowsy, but he knew Y/N was no less, so he just couldn’t allow her to drive all the way back. She didn’t even argue, only nodded and chose a passenger seat next to him. 

The road was rather empty. They were passing by few cheap hotels and convenience stores; the lights illuminated the road which at some moment started to seem almost endless. Mike saw how Y/N’s head slowly sank to a side, her eyes were shut closed and the breath became steadier. He hated himself for what he was planning to do, but the silence was truly killing him and he couldn’t hold the bitter thoughts to himself any longer.

“Look, I’m sorry,” he started and glanced at Y/N, as she sighed heavily and opened her eyes. “I know it’s not easy, but–”

“Are we really going to talk about it now?” she interrupted him irritably, although still with a sleepy voice.

But it was enough for Mike to get annoyed, too.

“When then? Tomorrow morning you’ll head to work and–”

“Not you talking about my working schedule,” she smirked.

“Stop interrupting me,” Michael spoke out every word and squeezed the steering wheel. He hated being interrupted, and she knew that.

“Don’t tell me what to do,” Y/N mumbled under her nose but loud enough for him to hear and turned a head to the side window of the car.

No one said anything else after that, and the silence in the car became even more unbearable. 

She didn’t fall asleep on the way home, and no one said anything else until the end of their trip.

“Welcome home, Mike,” Y/N was the first to break the silence, as they entered their house and turned on the light.

“Thanks…” Michael mumbled and looked around. He had a minute to adjust to the place, as the house seemed as if not his for a moment. That’s how long he was gone.

The girl looked at Michael, observing his haggard face. It felt odd to see him there, in their house. Her eyes became wet all of a sudden, Y/N stepped forward and hugged the guy tight, touching his cheek with her. Mike reacted right away, catching her in the arms and leaving a kiss on her cheek before giving a deep one on the lips.

“I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered. “I’m sorry it was a mess, Y/N. I know I promised to be here for you. I know I…”

“It’s not your fault, Mikey,” she sighed, hugging her favourite boy only tighter. “I know it’s your work and you are trying your best. It’s just…”

“Can be really hard sometimes.”

“Yeah…” the girl agreed quietly.

The time zones sucked, sometimes they couldn’t talk for days because of the time difference. He’d leave a message early morning and she’d be able to read right away only if she had insomnia once again and couldn’t sleep without him by her side.

“I took few days off so we could spend some time together…” she added in whisper.  

“Really?” Mike pulled away lightly to see her face and smiled wider. “Y/N…”

He knew how important the job was to her, it was not like he was putting his career higher than hers. But still he appreciated such gesture a lot. The happiness, though, was replaced by another sadnesss almost immediately. Michael started to feel awful as when he had few days doing nothing, he was lying in bed in a hotel room without any powers to buy a ticket and fly home instead. The touring was exhausting, no matter how much he enjoyed to perform.

Y/N was simply trying to save what was left between them. It was still a long way back to the relationships they had when they’ve just met, she missed their candy-bouquet period. But she believed they could overcome the issues and find compromises as they both wanted it.

“I love you,” he said and simply lifted her off the floor.

“I love you, too, Mikey,” Y/N whispered back with a smile on her face.

And the happiness from the fact that they finally saw each other filled their hearts again.

– gif and photo aren't mine and belong to the rightful owner –

© writersdare | all rights reserved

All stories are original and written by me. Do not copy, trace and post anywhere without permission and credit. The stories are fictional, they do not correspond to reality and written just for fun ♡

[universe-in-the-void-in-the-cube]

Fair warning there are 59 songs on this list. And don't get on me for being to much, you should see my music collection it is 105 GB! Yeah at least a couple 1000 give or take. But I narrowed them enough to list them.

And I want to thank @tomboyjessie13 for tagging me on the list. Now I have a working soundtrack for NaNoWriMo this year!

Those were the days my friend - Mary Hopkins

One Night In Bangkok - Murry Head

All I Need Is A Miracle - Mike and the Mechanics

Believe It Or Not - Joey Scarbury

Breakfast in America - Supertramp

Baby What A Big Surprise - Chicago

If You Leave Me Now - Chicago

Devil Woman - Cliff Richard

Dangerous - Roxette

I Touch Myself - Divinyls

What A fool Believes - Doobie Brothers

Girls - Dwight Twilley (My favorite song of all time)

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road - Elton John

Fading Like a Flower - Roxette

Family Man - Hall & Oates

Tusk - Fleetwood Mac

All Those Years Ago - George Harrison

The Logical Song - Supertramp

I Hear You - Wilson Phillips

Fame - Irene Cara

Centerfold- J. Geils Band

Beautiful Life lyrics - Ace of Base

If My Friends Could See Me Now - Linda Clifford

Holiday Road - Lindsey Buckingham

Something In Red - Lorrie Morgan

You Should Hear How She Talks About You - Melissa Manchester

How can we Be Lovers If We can't Be Friends - Michael Bolton

So Many Men So Little Time - Miquel Brown

Twist of Fate - Olivia Newton-John (This is my husbands and mine song)

Opportunities (Let's Make Lots of Money) - Pet Shop Boys

Paradise By The Dashboard Light - Meatloaf

It's A Sin - Pet Shop Boys

Another Brick In The Wall - Pink Floyd

Princes of the Universe - Queen

Super Freak - RICK JAMES

No No Song - Ringo Starr (The funniest anti-drug, anti-drinking and anti-smoking song you will ever hear.)

Simply Irresistible - Robert Palmer

Little Red Riding Hood - Sam the Sham & the Pharaohs

Oh Sherrie - Steve Perry

Hello Again - The Cars

Vacation - The Go Gos

Start Me Up - The Rolling Stones

She's A Beauty - The Tubes

It's Raining Men - The Weather Girls

Torn Between Two Lovers by Mary MacGregor

Legs - ZZ Top

Pressure - Billy Joel

Dark Lady - Cher

Don't Bring Me Down - ELO

Hotel California - The Eagles

Bad Boy - Miami Sound Machine

You're Breaking My Heart - Harry Nilsson (This song is so funny.)

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

Shadows Of The Night - Pat Benatar

Souls - Rick Springfield

Uncle F'ka - South Park Bigger Longer Uncut

Blank Space -Taylor Swift

Macho Man - Village People

Copacabana - Barry Manilow

Hey eyeone! I want to know what your favorite songs are, if you see this post you are CONTRACTUALLY OBLIGATED to reblog with at least 1 song you have listened to and enjoyed but if you have more you'd like to share then go ahead! Also tag your friends!

I'll start, I'm going to list 5 of my favorite songs

Dr Sunshine Is Dead by Will Wood

134340 Pluto by Cojum Dip

Vulture by Bear ghost

Dear John by I monster

And finally: playing places: Oceans by Cosmo Sheldrake

Here's the people I want to tag

@f4y3w00d5 @ashen-the-tiefling @terrencetheshark14 @underpaid-guard @blacktipreefsharkwizard @the-gnomish-bastard @thatgayforkcrow @lixorloveslicorice @yourlocalbreadenthusiast @agentldiddy @aileaxthevoidien @slutty-wizard-council @monsterfucker-research-wizard and anyone else who wants to play!!!

[ifwallscouldtalkkkk]

"Look, I'm not gonna kidnap you" - Michael Clifford Oneshot (COLLEGE)

Female reader × Michael Clifford

Mentions of alcohol, slightly tipsy (consensual) interactions, swearing, SMUT.

____________________________________

You miss your bus home after a night partying with friends. Luckily, you meet a guy willing to give you a ride home, and his playful pinky promise to not kidnap you somehow convinces you to accept.

The smut in this story is fairly short. This was my first ever attempt at writing fanfic back in 2018, and I was a bit scared of sounding stupid

____________________________________

Your shoes clacked as you ran on the cobblestones. You were so close to the bus station that you could see the bus driver flicking a cigarette butt onto the ground and leaving the embers glowing on the dark cobblestones, before taking his seat behind the wheel. You picked up your pace even more and frantically waved a hand in the air, hoping that you could cut ahead as the bus made its turn around the station back and onto the road. You cursed under your breath, mentally labeling yourself an idiot for staying at the party a couple of extra minutes to say your goodbyes to a friend who was too preoccupied with shouting random answers to the ongoing pictionary game to even hear you.

You skipped every other step on the small set of stairs to reach the platform, and when you reached the corner where the bus would turn, you started jumping up and down and waving in a feeble attempt to get the driver to stop and pick you up even though you weren't technically in the pick up zone. You could see him seeing you, it was a clear summer night and thus barely even dark! But the near empty bus didn't stop. The driver probably saw you as an entitled child who was too drunk to be on time, and maybe he was at least 25% right.

”Fucking bastard” you squeezed out through clenched teeth as you stomped around in a little circle with your head thrown back in frustration. Calling your parents to drive an hour in the middle of the night to come pick you up and let you off at your dorm was not ideal. You knew that they would do it for you, not wanting you to walk the 6 miles home. No, this was definitely not your plan, but maybe it was a bit irresponsible to plan to take the very last bus for the night. You stomped one last time and breathed out deeply.

”What the fuck are you doing, girl?”, someone called out in a humored undertone.

You swiveled around and your eyes landed on a car parked a short distance away, at the designated pick up- drop off parking area. The boy whom the voice belonged to leaned out the open window of the driver’s seat, with his arms folded and propped up on the edge of the window. His smug smirk felt hurtful in your frustrated state, but it brought you back to reality somewhat. You could admit that you probably looked like a child who didn't get a pony for christmas – and to be honest, you felt the same amount of betrayal.

”What a fucking jerk!”, the guy in the car yelled when you didn't answer. ”Where ya heading to?”

You donned a tortured expression, brushed out your skirt, picked your bag off the ground, and started walking home.

You heard the lone car start and you put a bit more speed in your step. It soon pulled up mere inches from you anyways.

”Come on, you're not seriously walking home? You obviously live a ways away since you were supposed to take the bus”, he said with the same amused tone in his voice.

”I'll be ok, and you're probably wanting to get home yourself”, you said, trying to politely reinforce the idea of him leaving you alone

”Look, I’m not gonna kidnap you, I pinky promise”, he chuckled at his own words but continued when you kept your eyes locked straight ahead. ”Girl, I’m guessing that you live on campus, and that's like a billion miles away. I’ll drop you off all gentlemanly at your doorstep and tip my imaginary top hat at you as I drive away, never to be seen again.” You stopped walking and he had to jerk his car to a stop along with you.

”The fact that you know that I live on campus is not very reassuring”, you replied.

He rolled his eyes and let out a little laugh. ”That bus-” he pointed down the road that your planned ride home had disappeared along a few minutes earlier ”-goes straight to campus. I just dropped my pal off here to avoid driving him all the way to the uni, but looks like I’ll have to go there now anyways.” You looked him in the eyes. The way he spoke elicited a strange amount of trust, and although a couple of piercings and a questionable hair color for an adult could be spotted under his beanie, he didn't seem like bad news. ”Look, the door doesn't even lock properly, I wouldn't even be able to kidnap you!” he demonstrated the faulty lock on the passenger door. You had to smile at the enthusiastic way he presented it.

”You promise you won't leave serial killer notes in my mailbox?” He lit up even more at your reply.

”Promise”, he said. You swung your bag up on your shoulder and reached for the door. This was in no way the wisest thing to do in the situation, but you were already overwon by his goofy charm.

You climbed in and kept your gaze forward, feeling the boy's eyes on you, and you caught yourself subconsciously holding your breath. You caved and looked at him when it became clear he wasn't going to drive forward before you gave in.

”Seatbelt.” he said with a parental tone. ”Can't have such a pretty girl making unsafe choices!” It wasn't as funny of a comment as his facial expression suggested, but he really knew how to lighten the mood. ”Michael.” He stretched his hand out to shake yours formally. You replied with your name and a firm handshake. ”Oh girl, with that grip, no one could even dream of succeeding in kidnapping you" he said, laughing at your overly stern behavior.

”I just hate limp handshakes", you smiled, rummaging around in your bag after a snack. ”Damn it I left my granola bar at home”, you muttered under your breath.

”Oh uh, I've got a bag of peanuts somewhere…” Michael trailed off, reaching over to the glove department to rummage through his own stuff. His warm hand grazed your bare knee while reaching and you tensed up at his accidental touch.

”Dude, eyes on the road!” you exclaimed and he chuckled in response.

”I thought risk taking was a theme tonight – oh wait, here they are!” He plopped a bag of salted peanuts in your lap.

”Wait, you're not allergic, are you?” he asked. ”Some risks are not worth taking.”

”No, I love peanuts, no worries”, you poured a handful out and put a few in your mouth. After a night consisting mostly of liquor and dancing around, something to eat felt heavenly.

Michael asked you a couple of standard questions about your studies, and you gave all the standard answers.

”I kinda miss studying. Never thought I'd say that." Michael smiled. His hand dipped down into the bag in your lap to get some peanuts, getting dangerously close to between your thighs. You stumbled for a few seconds.

”Um oh, ok really?” His behavior was so unlike anyone else you knew. He was so daring and sure of himself, but he felt so warm and fuzzy in contrast. Maybe the previously ingested alcohol skewed your judgement, but you couldn't help but find this stranger utterly charming.

”Yeah… I'm on the road a lot nowadays for work", came his reply.

”Oh, what do you do? Uber driver for college girls who can't keep track of time?” You saw one corner of his mouth pulling smugly upwards at your joke.

”Uh no, I'm in the music producing business.”

”Huh, that's fun. I wasn-" you didn't finish your sentence as a deer jumped out onto the otherwise vacant road from between a few bushes on the side of the long stretch of asphalt nearing the campus grounds.

”Oh shit", you heard Michael exclaim while swerving a bit and stepping hard on the brakes. The deer stared confused at the headlights before scurrying off towards the other side of the road. ”You ok?!” the boy asked between quick breaths. Your breath was labored too, but your eyes and mind were mostly focused on the male hand that had instinctively been placed protectively on your thigh while braking. Michael unfastened his seatbelt and leaned closer when he didn't get an answer.

”Uh, yeah…” your eyes now focused on his light, green, worried eyes.

You just stared. You didn't mean to, but you didn't make an effort to look away either. He had gotten so close. His left hand was on your upper arm in a protective manner, and his face was just inches away from yours. You didn't mean to stare, and you most definitely didn't mean for your eyes to briefly flicker down to look at his lips. He noticed. He must have noticed given the way you were both so focused on each other.

”Wa-", you began, but didn't finish the sentence. To be honest, you couldn't even remember what you were about to say. Your eyes flickered down again, when your vocal cords failed you.

‘Shit!’ Your mind blasted out inside your own head, but Michael didn’t pull away, or look alarmed. If anything, his brow furrowed deeper, all the while he was trying to calm his own breath. After a couple more sharp exhales his grip on your arm tightened, and he pressed his lips to yours quickly, as if he was taking a running start. You kissed back automatically before you even registered what was happening. You tensed up and felt Michael’s grip loosen as if to retreat. 'No no no', you were not gonna lose this moment. No way. To signal that you were on board with what was happening you brought your hand up to his neck. ‘He can't stop now’, you were aching for him to continue touching you.

He got more involved in the kiss in response, and your other hand found its way up to the back of his neck too. The hand that had previously resided firmly on your arm now fell to your thigh and snaked its way to the back of your knees, pulling you closer still. Your voice had given up any sort of attempt of self control, and a short moan escaped your lips. The man reacted to your premature excitement and his right hand fumbled to find your seat belt button. In a surprisingly smooth motion for the situation being, he simultaneously pushed his own seat back from the steering wheel, and pulled you onto his lap as soon as the belt let go of you. Both your hands braced against Michael's chest, while his own hands pressed into your sides. Your fingers curled to grip his shirt, and his fingers mimicked yours by curling too, his nails digging into you. You could feel your pulse going crazy. Michael's heartbeat was probably also going off the rails, because he lifted you off of him a couple of inches so that he could grow more comfortably in his pants. He looked you deep in your eyes the entire time and let out a lengthy exhale.

“Girl, I don't even know what to do with you.”

He grabbed your ass to grind you into him. You let yourself angle your head back in reaction to your core finally being stimulated, and Michael straightened up his upper body to nibble at your neck. You helped him by moving your own hips along with the rhythm, but his hands still stayed firmly on your ass. When you couldn't take it anymore, you reached down to unclasp his belt, but your fingers fumbled more than you intended. You hadn't noticed how much you were shaking in excitement before now.

The stranger turned lover stared into your eyes patiently while you unbuttoned his jeans, but as soon as you managed to slide them down his thighs he pressed you hard against him, almost as hard as he pressed your lips together. Your underwear starting to become soaked from the thought of what was to come. Michael shifted his underwear down to meet his jeans. His hands couldn't decide where to rest, alternating between your hips, your chest, and your neck.

When focusing on your hips, his fingers on one hand slid up ever so slightly underneath the hem of your underwear, and his touch left you grinding harder into his thigh. You could tell that Michael knew how wet you were, your panties practically gliding around. His fingers found your hemline once more, and he slowly let his fingers follow the leg seam downwards. He let two fingers slip between you and the fabric to rest right outside your entrance for what felt like several minutes, but then inserted them forcefully when your whimpers became more desperate. He groaned too, from getting to feel you from the inside and knowing what pleasures it gave you. As if this didn't feel explosive enough already, his thumb joined his other fingers and circled your clit carefully.

You felt your cheeks turn red from the blood rushing fast through your body. Feeling sparks in your lower stomach already was not something you anticipated. Michael seemed to understand though, because he stilled you from assisting his fingers’ movement. He had stopped his movements too to make sure you would focus on his face. The look of his eyes as he kept them locked on yours was piercing and the icy-ness of it felt amazing on your hot cheeks. He held one hand deep inside of you, and the other on his own throbbing organ. He slowly replaced his two fingers with his cock, letting you get used to him gradually. You sank down, and the pain of stretching was miniscule compared to all the pleasure in the air. Once Michael was sure that you were comfortable with him, he elevated his hips just enough to push your limits. He finally let out a well kept-in moan. The subtle hip movements turned more and more intense until the point where you could tell you would end up with leg cramps in a few hours. The car wasn’t gigantic by any means, but you found ways to make do. With your hands behind your back, you could hold onto the steering wheel for support, with the added benefit of letting Michael’s hands roam over your torso freely.

Eyes watering, heart pumping, and legs trembling, you could feel your orgasm coming closer. Both your moans blended together into an audible mess as the electric pulses took over your body. After your release, your body relaxed heavy against the steering wheel.

A long, loud honk sounded out before you could get the chance to lift yourself off in horror. ‘Oh shit.’ The motion of lifting yourself off and plopping down in the passenger seat again wasn’t graceful, but it was at least fairly quick. You sat paralyzed holding onto your seat as a dog barked loudly at the sudden interruption of the usual peace and quiet. A lamp lit up in a house a few hundred yards away. It took a minute, but Michael finally chuckled - his hands rubbing his face. You cracked a smile too, but your stiffened posture would take a few minutes to get rid of. Michael clearly had a more easily relaxed personality than you.

The back of his head lay on the head rest, and he let it fall to one side to turn towards you. The same all-too-humored look that he had when you missed the bus was painted over his face. He didn't say anything, and neither did you. Words didn't really help in this predicament. He just pulled his pants up to waist level again and turned the car keys. You two drove in silence the few minutes left to reach campus grounds.

He crawled to a stop outside of the main dorms, and turned his head lazily again. You had quickly gathered your stuff in your hands as he pulled in, and you got out the second the car stopped.

“Well, uh… Thanks for the ride”, you said politely.

“You’re welcome”, he replied just as politely, and with a rare sincerity.

You raised your palm up in a subdued goodbye as you took a few steps backwards, and then turned around to walk away. Your shoes on the asphalt click-clacked loudly in the silent summer night. You reached for the door handle, the cool metal feeling sobering in your grip.

“HEY!” a word sliced through the silence.

You spun around on your toes quickly.

“Hey girl!” Michael continued when he knew he had your attention. He was leaning out the rolled down window again.

“I know where you live!” The grin on his face almost bursting by the seams.

A huge smile immediately spread across your face too.

ifwallscouldtalkkkk MASTERLIST

[winnix85]

About Lewis Nixon’s mother Doris Ryer Nixon (Mrs Stanhope Nixon)

Source: mostly from old newspapers and digitized documents (I can’t guarantee the accuracy because they are fragmented information. I will just put it out there for someone may find some interesting useful backstories).

Doris Ryer was born on Oct 1 1894.

Her father Fletcher Ryer was a wealthy pioneer agriculturalist in California. He owned 6,600-acre (27 km2) ranch on Ryer Island, which was named in their honor. Because Doris was his only heiress, this ranch all went to Doris and then to Lewis Nixon III and ultimately to Grace Nixon. It's an agricultural (instead of livestocks) ranch. They grew crops, fruits and vegetables such as wheat, milo, safflower, pears, apples, cherries, grapes, tomatoes and asparagus. They produced such large amount of asparagus that Doris's mother, Mrs Ryer was nicknamed Asparagus Queen back then. This farm is still up and running today, managed by Clarence Hester from 1950s to 1990s (Nix' war buddy, the regimental S3, the one who wrestled with Dick in that photo), after him by his son Thomas Hester.

Doris was educated at Madame Payen's school in Paris from 1906 to 1914 (her entire high school).

Fletcher Ryer died an early death in 1911 (when Doris was about 16). Doris was close to her mother Mrs Blanche Ryer. Mrs Blanche Ryer, though very charming, married very very young. As a pretty, attractive, wealthy widow she determined to ensure that her daughter Doris have a brilliant "bellehood" as a girl. She took Doris to tour around the world. For example, in Sep1913, they traveled to Russia to present Doris at the court of Tsar Nicholas II (Very inconvenient timing, I have to say).

Doris was very sweet and attractive, with pretty black eyes. Her mother has always been most ambitious for her handsome daughter. She aimed to marry Doris to British aristocracy. Doris was presented at Buckingham Palace in 1914, wearing "a white satin princess gown embroidered in pearls and brilliants". Mrs Ryer has had her eye on several members of the British aristocracy for Doris, "but this cruel war, of course, smashed all of her well-laid plans to smithereens." She has to stoop so low to choose from American heirs.

Doris married Stanhope in Jan 1917 in New York at Church of Heavenly Rest. Their wedding was the social event of the year. Guests from coast to coast attended Nixon-Ryer wedding.

The bride's costume was soft white satin, made in combination with pearl embroidered net. She worn a lovely veil, the same that had been worn by her grandmother at her wedding, which was held in place with a band of diamonds. Her only other ornament was a necklace of diamonds with a large pear-shaped diamond pendant, the gift of the bridegroom.

Because the father of bride has died, she was given away by governor of New York Charles S. Whitman. Among those in attendance were the Brazilian ambassador and Argentine ambassador.

After the wedding the new couple went to Bermuda for honeymoon and then they lived at 52 East Fifty-second Street NYC (but later moved to 46 East 65 Street). In 1920 census, the household of the new couple included Stanhope the head of the house, Doris the wife, Lewis the one and half yr old old baby son, and a butler and 3 maids. They also have a suburb house at 167 Grange Ave, New Jersey (a 20-room estate, equiped with oil burning hot water heat, a 4-car garage, servants quarters, a boat house and a stable).

After marrying off her daughter to the Nixons, Mrs Blanche Ryer re-married in 1920 to Clifford Erskine-Bolst, a British conservative party politician. Mr Erskine-Bolst was elected to the British House of Commons in 1923 and again in 1931. To help him win the election, she made generous donations to King George's Hospital in England. She campained hard for him, making speeches and appealing to the constituency in the South Hackney district. 

In 1920s, mama Doris bought a villa at Riviera France from the late Grand Duchess Anastasia of Russia. She lived there until her death in 1939 (This villa went to Nix. But he didn't like living there, too much hassle to open the house. He prefered to stay at the hotel Cap Estel. In 1950s he leased it to the Kennedys).

Doris and Stanhope seemed to be ok in 1920s. They attended social events together and traveled to England together. After Lew, they had a baby boy in 1922 (who tragically died in 3 months. Doris' mother went to New York to be with her.) Then they had Blanche Nixon in Aug 1924 (also born in NYC). While living in NYC, it seems little Lew was often spending time with his grandfather. Grandpa often took him to play at central park. For example, he took Lew to that model yacht regatta in central park when he was 7, and to skate in central park in Jan 1927 when lew was 8. In 1927, Doris took 2 yr old Blanche to France to visit her mother, but she didn't take Lew (maybe he was too naughty?). Anyway, Doris took Blanche to see grandma almost every year but Lew was only with them on one visit when he was 10 yr old.

Doris appeared to be lonely and out of place in the social circle of New York. Here is a social note about her in 1929: "A remarkable girl with her embroidery frame, actually engaged in a simple, normal occupation in a land where the atmosphere is charged with hang-overs, gambling-losses and mistrust. Nobody around here looks twice at a woman with mauve hair like Madame de Roch, or at a man with ear-rings and a bracelet on his ankle. But let a girl take out a half-finished centerpiece and commence embroidering and every lorgnette in the crowd is whipped into place."

At the end of 1920s, Doris seemed to be so unhappy to live on the east coast anymore, and she still regarded CA to be her real home. Stanhope sold their house in New Jersey and bought a new house in Montecito (also a mansion with a large stable and everything). In the 1930 census they were living at 180 Cold Spring Road, montecito, CA (Stanhope, Doris, Lewis (11yr), Blanche(5yr), and a French governess, and 2 servants). Lew attended boarding school at Cate School in Santa Barbara.

In social notes in 1930s, Stanhope and Doris mainly attended social events in CA (Santa Barbara and San Francisco), they also travel to New York to visit Mr and Mrs Lewis Nixon Sr.. The family traveled a lot, not only back and forth between east-west coasts, but also trips abroad. Doris always took Blanche with her, but Lew traveled on his own even when he was as young as 15 yr old. It appears that Doris and Stanhope's relationship has gone sour in 1930s. For example, in this 1934 social note: "The Stanhope Nixons will spend the Christmas holidays with his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Lewis Nixon. Mr Nixon will return to California on Jan 1, and Mrs Nixon will sail for Europe to spend six months on the Riviera with her mother." (almost as if Doris was running away from Stanhope and hide in France after briefly met him on Xmas day. Meanwhile 15 yr old Lew was at boarding school in CA).

In 1940 census, Doris and Blanche were still living at 180 Cold Spring Road, montecito, CA (with a housekeeper, a cook and a maid). Stanhope was no longer in this household. Maybe they have separated. Lew was also not in this household for he has left for college.

Among the CA high society, Doris was a all-around likable person: "Doris is always bubbling over with enthusiasm, her joy of living and her wit making her a welcome guest at any affair". She was very enthusiastic about opera (and art events in general, such as oriental dance). She attended the openning of Opera Season at San Francisco every year (usually with Blanche, and she will grab Lew when she can catch him). In 1940, she offered a prize for the "Best one act play" to stimulate interest in the Lobero Theater of Santa Barbara. She also went to see excellent plays in New York when it's in season and made some witty comments about the remarkable fashion trends in New York: "The only lavender and old lace that you see today is on the individual--the lavender in the tinted hair, and the lace on the dainty unmentionables."

After the Pearl Harbor Attack, Doris turned from a socialite to a civic leader. In 1942 she became the national vice-president of the American Women's Voluntary Services (AWVS) (and during ww2). The AWVS recruited and trained women to harvest crops, do nurse works, driving trucks and sell war bonds. She encouraged women to show more interest in international affairs. She also founded Guide Dogs for the Blind in 1943 (primarily to help the blinded veterans) and she made generous donations. In addition, she was the state commander of the California Cancer Society.

The AWVS duties kept her so busy, she has to relinquish her box at the opera house. She only had long enough time to have a toasted chicken sandwich for lunch. She put generous amount of English mustard on her sandwich. When her friends cautioned her not to put too much, she said:"If it puts me out, I will be a most excellent subject for the first aid class I am about to attend, and we will all find out how much we know!"

In the summer of 1945, Doris and Stanhope finally divorced (Stanhope even filed counter-suits seeking divorce on the grounds of desertion). They divorced in August, and Stanhope married "the Blond" in September 1945.

In June 1948, Doris died at home (944 Chestnut Str San Francisco CA). She had a stroke (and she always had hypertention). It seems her death was an unexpected sudden death because one month before she was still traveling around France with her daughter Blanche. Her will dictated to split her legacy equally between Blanche and Lew. She also left generous amount of money to employees such as housekeeper, secretary. For a former maid, she gave her $225 monthly for life.

[iguanalysis]

Clifford The Big Red Dog and the Natural Interpretant.

Clifford the big red dog as a puppy is an object of castration, not because he exists to begin with as a red dog who is separated from his genetic family, but because the cars on the road which almost run him over don't acknowledge what he is.

Emily, the main protagonist, a young red-headed girl, gets called “Food stamp” at school because she is not from a wealthy family, and as a result, she takes the good of society more seriously, but doesn't understand how to be understood as someone who is doing so. She finds Clifford in her backpack one evening, after visiting an animal tent run by an eccentric Englishman, Bridwell, who hangs out in the park a lot (which is where he first picked up the red dog). Overnight, Clifford grows into an enormous red puppy dog, only to be discovered in the morning by Emily.

This discovery is shared with her young gay uncle Casey, who lives in an illicitly parked trailer-like structure, and is a very goofy loser type of guy, who also lives in utter poverty and disarray despite his up-beat disposition.

Then the owner of a bioengineering company named Lyfegro, Tieran, which is trying to make money by genetically engineering livestock that are larger than normal in order to feed more people more efficiently, catches wind of the giant red puppy dog’s antics at a park in Upper Manhattan. Tieran schemes to fool the public into believing that Clifford is originally the property of Lyfegro, presumably so that his staff of engineers can appropriate the dog's genetics in order to learn more about engineering larger animals for his company's profit.

The moral conundrum presented by the struggle to save Clifford from the geneticists at Lyfegro is therefore the allocation of public versus private knowledge.

In all honesty, I was hoping for a movie that more simply “hangs out” with the goofy-looking big red dog at first, but it wraps up very quickly and nicely, to be fair. There could have been more about Clifford's family and whatnot, but the story is lighthearted, stays focused on something else, and ends up becoming somewhat unique. The symbolism of the big red dog is so innocent and clarifying at the same time: for example, the way that the valuation of communal knowledge as the collective hope of poverty, culture, and childhood might just get shipped off to China, instead of having a fair chance to function in the New York City community. I wonder about the uncanny comparisons to my own life story as well, but I won't go into it here.

This phenomenon of the biological miracle of Clifford's color and size brings me to my elaboration of a natural interpretant. The fundamental tension of the plot is derived from the referent of its central enigma, that of the ultimate purpose of Clifford's genetic phenotype. The “social” interpretant is the one I would attribute to that of Charles Sanders Pierce, and to the pivoting action of a “sème”, one which is determined by isotopy. A natural interpretant is one which determines the course of an organism’s genetic expression through senescence, and the interactions with its surrounding environment. The ideal of the young girl Emily is to keep this natural interpretant of Clifford's bizarre existence free to act however it might or may prefer to function. The conflicting ideal of Tieran and of his company Lyfegro is to appropriate the social interpretant for its own agency, and make Clifford's existence about something completely different from the purely genetic intentions which nature allows Clifford's organism to exert on a non-social or individual behalf.

For this, I would like to emphasize the castrational symbolization called castration–frustration. The natural interpretant I just described is the “real object”, which forms an imaginary relation with the real father, in this case, Clifford's big red dog body/existence. Clifford's existence for Emily forms the moment of castration whereby her imaginary object, Clifford's organic freedom, which represents both her dream for her community as well as for her own humanity, can be allocated into his (biological) agency.

Thus, the real father once more is the utmost touchstone of reality itself. This is not a scientific or philosophical movie, I would also like to point out, because it lacks the anti-Oedipal agents (imaginary mother, symbolic father, real mother) who are involved at the level of “memories”, or inscriptions. Hence, its light-hearted and uplifting nature.

— (5/7/2022)

[allsassnoclass]

The Inherent Domesticity of Target’s Home Decor Section

Pairing: Michael Clifford/Calum Hood Rating: Teen Word Count: 2076 Read on AO3

Michael has mixed feelings about Target.  On one hand, Target is better than Walmart, and he appreciates that they get to design different album covers and sell special editions there.  On the other hand, walking into Target makes him feel like he should have his life together more.  That’s not to say that his life is a disaster; his life is actually pretty great, and he feels like a fully functioning adult.  However, the store still gives him the niggling feeling that he should buy a planner and some post-it notes and turn into a suburban mom.

“Do you think I should buy a planner?” he asks.  Calum hums, reading the back of a DVD that’s on sale for $5.  When he shifts to put it back on the shelf, Michael shifts right with him, arms around his stomach and cheek plastered against his shoulder.  It’s earlier in the morning than Michael would like, so Calum gets the privilege of holding him up as punishment for dragging him out into the world at this time of day.

“Why do you need a planner?  Ashton takes care of that stuff for the band,” Calum says.  He picks up another DVD and flips it over.

“Yeah, but maybe I should put down everyone’s birthday or something,” he says.  Calum snorts and Michael pinches his side, because he’s apologized for forgetting his birthday that one time sincerely and profusely and gave Calum a pretty spectacular blowjob to make up for it.

“Would you even use it?” Calum asks.  Michael considers and has to concede his point.

They look at DVDs for a few more minutes because Calum gets a kick out of what a place like Target choses to stock in their meger selection.  Michael lets him slip some animated thing he thinks he watched once as a kid into the basket, content to stand there while Calum takes his time and just breathe him in.  He loves being close to Calum, letting his familiar smell fill his nostrils and leeching body heat.  He lets their breathing sync up and imagines that he can hear his heartbeat, slow and steady and almost putting him to sleep standing up.

Nowhere feels like home quite like Calum does.  Even in the middle of Target, Michael feels better than he ever has alone in his house.  It makes him wonder why he’s even living alone, and why Calum pulled away and they stopped messing around when neither of them have girlfriends.

The bottom line is that he misses Calum nearly every moment they’re apart, but he doesn’t know how to articulate this without the crushing fear of rejection.  Calum loves him, and he knows that a significant part of Calum’s world revolves around Michael, but that doesn’t mean they necessarily love each other in the same way.  Michael wants grocery shopping and kisses and late night cuddles regardless of if they have somewhere to be in the morning and lazy sex and laughing at each other’s ridiculousness so hard that he can’t breathe.  Calum wants a platonic best friend.

“What else do we still need to get?” Calum asks, shaking Michael out of his reverie.

“Toothpaste, I think.  And vitamins.”

“Look at you, being healthy and shit.”

Michael pokes his side and Calum tries to wriggle away, giggling because Michael knows exactly which spot tickles the most.

“Just because I don’t let Ashton drag me to yoga like you do doesn’t mean I’m unhealthy.  I get the most sleep out of any of us and I drink a fuckton of water.”

“I know, I know,” Calum says.  “Want to check the CDs?”

It’s a distraction tactic, because Michael will always check the one-shelf CD selection, especially so soon after one of their own releases.  Michael makes the conscious decision to allow himself to be distracted.

“Okay.  CDs, then toothpaste, then vitamins, then I want to look at the home decor.”

“What do you want to look at the home decor for?”

Michael shrugs, knowing that Calum can feel it.  There’s just no non-incriminating way to say I like to see your reactions and pretend that we’re picking out stuff for our house because I might be fully in love with you and I want you in every single crevice of my life.

That’s the issue with Target: it makes him feel domestic and long for things he can’t have.

“Excuse me?” a new voice says, and Michael first feels a twinge of annoyance at someone interrupting his moment and then a twinge of panic that it could be a fan when he definitely doesn’t have the emotional or physical energy to put on a public persona.  One look at the owner of the voice dispels that notion.  The woman is on the later side of middle-aged and looks pretty much exactly like the kind of woman who cooks meatloaf and has 3 cats and actually does go to Target to buy planners.  As inclusive as the band tries to make their music, Michael can admit that she’s not exactly in their immediate wheelhouse for fans.  Nevertheless, he straightens up a bit, but the woman is smiling so he thinks he can maybe get away with still locking his arms around Calum’s waist.

“Sorry to bother you, but I just wanted to say that you boys make such a cute couple!  It’s so nice to see young people in love.”

Michael stiffens, but Calum puts a hand on his arm, effectively anchoring him in place before he can pull away.

“Thank you.  It’s nice to be in love,” Calum says, and Michael’s breath stutters in his throat.

The woman beams and for a moment Michael thinks she’s going to reach out and pinch Calum’s cheeks, but she just bids them a good day and continues towards the books.

“CDs?” Calum asks, casual as anything.  Michael nods and fully pulls away, not trusting himself to speak or to touch.

It was just a nice thing to say to a romantic woman, but it’s nice to be in love plays on repeat in his head like a broken record.  He knows, he knows that it doesn’t mean anything, but Michael would give almost anything to have it be the truth.

There are five copies of the Target exclusive edition of CALM on the shelf.  There’s also a Neil Diamond greatest hits collection and a few random soundtracks that Calum points out, but Michael can barely focus.  He kind of wants to skip the toothpaste and go straight home, but he also doesn’t want Calum to question why that small interaction with the woman threw him so off kilter.  By the time they make it through the checkout and back to Michael’s car, he feels like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin.

Calum waits until they’re out of the parking lot to start talking.

“I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable earlier.  That wasn’t my intention.  I just figured that was the easiest response.  I know we’re not--I know we don’t do that anymore.”

In a different world where Michael hasn’t kept a very tight lid on his feelings for his best friend for the past eight years, he would have crashed the car.

“I know,” he says instead.  Silence fills the space, heavy and uncomfortable.  Michael keeps his eyes resolutely on the road and tries not to read too much into how Calum keeps taking a breath as if he wants to talk before cutting himself off.

“And I understand,” Calum says suddenly, almost causing Michael to swerve.  “I understand why we’re not together anymore.”

“What,” Michael says.

“I’m not trying to get you back, or whatever.  I know you don’t think of me like that.”

“That I don’t--” Michael chokes.  “I’m sorry, what?”

“Come on, don’t make me say it,” Calum says, shifting in his seat.

“No, hang on.  I don’t understand what you’re saying to me right now.”

“Mike, stop it.  Now you’re just being mean.”

“Calum, you’re the one who pulled away from me.  Personally, I don’t understand why we’re not together anymore.  I didn’t even know that we were!”

“That’s bullshit!  What did you think we were, if not together?”

“I don’t know, fucking around?  I thought we stopped because you got bored of me.”

“Michael, we stopped because we got asked about ships in an interview and you got really weird about it.”

“Yeah, because I’ve been in love with you for half my life!”

Silence descends, and Michael absolutely cannot look at Calum right now.  The only things that exist are the steering wheel in his grip and the strip of road in front of him.  There’s still a good ten minutes until he reaches his house, and Michael is very content to spend those ten minutes pretending like he is alone and has not just revealed his biggest secret during an argument that he still doesn’t quite understand.

“Pull over.”

No such luck, apparently.

“Michael, pull over right now.”

He eases over and puts the car in park, letting his hands fall into his lap.

“You’re in love with me?” Calum asks.  Michael nods.  “We’re so stupid.”

“What?” Michael asks, finally looking over at Calum.  He doesn’t look uncomfortable or sad, he looks exasperated.  Michael isn’t sure what that’s supposed to mean.

“We’re idiots.  We could’ve been happily dating this whole time.  Hell, we probably could’ve been married by now,” Calum says.  “I’m in love with you, too.”

Michael blinks at him and really wishes his brain was operating a bit faster.

“Calum,” he says, for lack of anything else.

“Michael,” Calum grins right back.

“Are you serious?” he asks.  Calum rolls his eyes.

“Why would I joke about this?”

Michael shrugs helplessly.

“Michael,” Calum says seriously.  “I made you park the car.  We just had a conversation that obviously made you uncomfortable.  Why the fuck would I be joking right now?”

Michael shrugs helplessly again.

“You love me?” he asks.  Calum reaches over and grabs one of his hands.

“I’m head over heels, crazy in love with you.  It’s pathetic.  It’s ridiculous.  I want to jump you in this car right now.”

Michael laughs.

“Not in broad daylight,” he says.  Calum smiles in a way that makes something settle in Michael’s stomach, something that he hadn’t realized had been unsettled ever since they stopped seeing each other.

Fuck.  He’s so lucky.

“I’m in love with you, too,” he says.  Calum’s smile widens.

“I know,” he says.  “You just told me that.”

“Well, I wanted to tell you again.”

“Well, I’m in love with you, too.”

They’re talking in circles now--wonderful, love-sick circles--and Michael is thankful for multiple reasons when Calum breaks it by leaning over the center console to kiss him.  Calum’s lips are familiar under his, and even after months without feeling them Michael has them memorized.  This kiss feels different, though.  There’s a surety to it that they haven’t had before, a question and agreement that thrills him.

“You’re sure you don’t want to roll around in the back seat right now?” Calum asks softly when they part.  Michael grins and knocks their foreheads together.

“You’re funny,” he says.  “Ha, ha.”

Calum kisses him again.  Michael could definitely get used to this.  If their previous conversation is any indication, he’ll have plenty of time and opportunity to get used to this.

This time when the kiss breaks, Calum fully leans back rather than keep breathing his air.

“Okay,” he says.  “Let’s go home, Michael.  We’ve got years of a honeymoon phase to catch up on.”

Michael puts the car in drive and eases back onto the road.  They’ll have time to drive around again later, because Michael definitely wants to do another circuit of the Target home decor section with this new revelation.  Maybe he’ll try to find a card for the woman who confused them for a couple, just in case they happen to run into her by the post-it notes or planners.

Either way, Michael thinks that Target might be his favorite store now.  He glances at Calum to find him already looking at him and his chest warms.

Yeah, Target is definitely his favorite store, but he’d be okay with never setting foot in it again if it meant he could keep spending time with his favorite person.

Thankfully, the way that Calum leans over to kiss him at a red light seems to mean that he agrees.

[simpleserendipity]

letdown | Michael Clifford

Pairing: Michael Clifford x Reader (established relationship) Warning: angst, drug use, effects of drug use Word count: 1,470 words

This was inspired by the song letdown by nothing,nowhere.

You knew that you had to do something about this. You never ate, you never slept, you couldn’t work, you were only worried about your next fix. You knew it hurt your friends, you could tell by the way they went running. You knew it hurt your family, evidence from the multiple interventions and eventually being cut off. You had one person in this world though, your boyfriend, Michael. He knew about your problem, he was always trying to help you, pushing you to fight to recover. He’s tried every method, cutting you off money-wise, sending you to multiple rehab centers and so many therapy sessions, literally nothing was helping. You loved that about him but something about the sweet feeling of shooting up would always draw you back.

You came sneaking into the house after another late night, shooting up in some random public bathroom since that was the only place you knew Michael couldn’t get to you. You walked past his dark office, a sign that he had long abandoned the office. You crept into the bedroom expecting to see your boyfriend asleep or scrolling on his phone or watching TV. Instead, you’ve met but a completely made bed with a note on Michael’s pillow. You come over and sit down beside the note picking it up to read it.

Dear ______,

I remember the day we met. I never thought I would meet the love of my life in a gas station. I was at the counter paying for some snacks, it was literally 3 in the morning. You were coming out of the bathroom, I figured you were on a road trip but now that I look back, you were probably just shooting up. You went to leave the store but instead, you walked into a display knocking over about 50 cans of pringles. I remember laughing thinking you were just clumsy but now I know you were high out of your mind. I remember talking to you and helping you pick them up. Then I made some stupid joke about pringles and you laughed so hard I thought you were going to pass out. I bought each of a can of pringles and we talked together. You asked if I wanted to go for a walk in the park together. I asked if you were sure because it’s 3 in the morning. You were giggling and said it was on your way. In hindsight, I shouldn’t have left my car at the gas station but a pretty girl like you was giggling asking me to come with her to the park, I couldn’t go home. I also knew that if I wasn’t there with you, you would find someone else and I couldn’t stand the thought of you being by yourself. So I followed you and we spent hours wandering the park like we were lost kids, laughing. I swear to god there hasn’t been a better day I’ve ever had. I wish I could go back to that day often to feel something like that again.

I hate that I’m even writing you a letter like this. I think that there are a million words for me to say what I want to say and they might come off better if I said it in person. I can’t look you in the eyes and say this but ______ I love you and I can’t take this anymore. I can’t look at the light fading in your eyes anymore, I can’t watch you skip meals, shaking from withdrawals, or getting sick. I can’t watch you wither away in front of me. I hate watching you lie in bed unable to move, going in and out while I check every minute if you’re even breathing. It’s even worse watching you scratching until you’re raw or bleeding or pacing the room until you pass out on the floor. I can’t stand watching you, my once driven and ambitious girlfriend loses her job and not be able to work for more than a week before getting fired. You aren’t even the girl that I met 2 years ago, the girl I fell in love with. You’re the empty shell of the person you used to be, more concerned about being a drug. 

I want to be sorry for leaving you on your birthday but I doubt you even remember that’s today. It may be your birthday but it’s not only you impacted anymore. I can’t remember a time where I haven’t had to tell you what day it is or remind you of someone’s birthday. I doubt you even remember the promises you’ve made me, promises to get clean, or even the plans we made. I can’t watch you disappear before my eyes when we had planned so many things together. With the way you are right now, I doubt you’ll ever make it to see anything we planned. We’ll never get married, we’ll never buy our house, we’ll never travel the world and we’ll never get to raise our kids. I used to think it was partly my fault, wondering what I could have done to make things better and how I could have helped you but I realized it isn’t my fault. You have a problem and if you don’t admit it, you’ll never get better. At this rate, you’re never going to get better because no matter how many people try to help you, you never help yourself. I love you so much but I can’t be the only one fighting for us, for you. You were supposed to be the love of my life and I was supposed to be yours but you always chose heroin over us. I never thought I would be losing the one I love like this, I always thought we would spend years together before losing one another. I didn’t think that I would lose you this soon.

Maybe one day in another life, a better life, you and I are happy but I don’t think this life is the one for us.

Love always,

Michael.

You had to wipe your tears from the page because the ink was starting to blur. Michael had done it, he had left you. After years of trying, Michael had reached the end of his rope. You couldn’t blame him though because you had given up on yourself a long time ago. You were just left shocked because the one person you thought you would always have, has left you. You set the page on the nightstand. Your heart was weakly beating but was still echoing in your head. You move slowly, your head spinning from the thought of never seeing Michael again and coming down from your high. Your mouth was dry, painfully dry. You wipe your tears and head to the bathroom. You flip the light on and it flickers for a moment. You look at yourself, moving to grip the sink edge to make sure that you don’t fall over. You were shaking slightly as you looked up at yourself. The bags under your eyes were dark and your eye sockets were sunk in. Your whole body was shaking and your skin was getting paler. Michael was right you don’t look like yourself and now you don’t feel like yourself.

You sigh, hands shakily coming up to turn the faucet on. You splashed your face a bit, the water stinging as the cold water drips down your face. You looked at yourself in the mirror again, this time you focused on your arms, scarred up and covered with little scabs and bruises. You make eye contact with yourself again. You pull back, flip off the light and turn to go back to the room. You’re tired and feeling yourself fading. You flop onto your back on the bed, you pull your phone from your pocket. You shoot a text to your dealer, its only been hours but you were desperate again. He says he’ll send someone over and you sigh. You click through the phone, hovering over Michael’s contact. You debate nervously whether or not to click it but you cave. Maybe just once you can hear his voice one more time.

“Michael please…” You whisper, feeling sleep washing over you. You set the phone beside you on speaker, hearing it ring as you fade in and out. It rings all the way through and right to voicemail, “I’m sorry Michael.” Is the last thing you say before you lose consciousness. You aren’t sure if you’re going to wake up after this one but it doesn’t matter, you’ve lost everything this time and if you woke up again, you would only chase more drugs. Michael was right about everything he said, you love him but you love the drugs more.

[itisannak]

High Speed (Michael Clifford Smut)

Summary: Michael and (Y/N) go on a little date while on tour, which makes (Y/N) crave more of Michael. Based on Sexual Prompts #33: "Good girl.", #45: "Take your panties off.", & #64: "I can't stop thinking about your hands on me." And 100 ways to say I love you Prompt #80: "Is your seatbelt on?" (Smut/ Unprotected Sex / Choking / Oral; Male Receiving) (Request) (Words: 2.8k)

"Is your seatbelt on?" Michael asks me as he pushes the key in the ignition. I sigh and nod, pouting at him and earning a confused look from my boyfriend. "What? I thought you had a good time on our date..." He states, a bit of complaint in his voice. "I had the greatest time I have had in a while. I just don't want to go back to the bus. This was great because it was just the two of us, which in the bus is considered an unaffordable luxury." I explain, reaching to stroke his cheek softly. "I promise we will have a date as soon as possible." He purses his lips to kiss the inside of my palm, right on the part that connects it with my thumb. "Why do I feel like we are running out of time now?" I ask him, resting back in my seat. "Because we are. I don't for how much longer they will be waiting for us in that Target parking lot." He chuckles, starting the car. "It sucks that we missed it. I needed some stuff and I wanted to see if Calum would pick a roll of fabric for a blanket..." I giggle, turning a bit to look at Michael as he drives. My comment brings a throaty laugh out of my boyfriend, the kind that pushes his cheeks up and nearly reveals all of his teeth. "You can message them and see if they can pick up whatever you need." He offers, making me bite the inside of my cheek. "Smart cookie." I coo, ruffling his hair as I fish my phone out of my purse.

Michael brings his hand to my thigh, just a bit above the hem of my dress, letting it rest there for a moment before his thumb strokes infinite patterns. It makes me smile, how he always finds the perfect moment to be soft with me, letting intimacy flow between us. I send a shopping list to Ashton while biting my bottom lip. I wish Michael would creep his hand up a bit, making this moment a little more smut for us. "Are you ok?" He asks me just as I lock my phone and leave it on the car's dashboard. "Yeah, why?" I ask him back casually. "Your cheeks are red and your lip is nearly bleeding. What's going on?" He cocks an eyebrow at me. I fix my posture and bring my hand to press it against my cheek, feeling my skin burning. "I just... I can't stop thinking about your hands on me... Touching my thighs, grazing my spine, holding the back of my head steady to kiss me deeply..." I sigh, closing my eyes to picture what I am narrating. "Oh..." He yelps, tickling his fingers down towards my knee. "Yeah... You have gotten me fucked..." I admit, making him clear his throat. "I didn't know I influence you that much..." He replies, taking his hand away from my leg and causing me to whine. "Are you kidding me? I practically melt every time you touch me..." I watch for his reaction. I feel weirdly annoyed by him depriving me of his touch, my stomach tightening as I crave a bit more from him. "Well, we are not far from going back to our bunk..." He smirks devilishly, speeding up the car. "I don't know. It feels kinda weird, with our friends so close to us while we fuck..." I shrug. "Oh, baby... Don't pretend like we haven't fucked semi-publicly in the past. Plus, I know you like putting on a show for the neighbors when we are together." He chuckles. "First of all, I am not putting on a show. And second... Well, there is no second. My point is, it is weird fucking just a bed below your friends..." I reply, making him hum. "So what? Like they haven't been fucking their girlfriends in their bunks..." He scoffs. "Not to mention there is hardly even room to have sex in those bunks..." I point out, but Michael muses at me. "Trust me, there is plenty of space in there." He assures me. "And how exactly do you know that?" I ask, arching an eyebrow at him as I wait for an answer. "What? You think I don't have a past?" He asks me back; I am not going to lie, a sting of jealousy covers my stomach, making me cross my arms before my chest. "What? Babe... Don't tell me you are jealous." Michael gasps, pulling over. He turns to look at me, while I bounce my leg in agitation. "What? No... I just... Fuck it. Yeah, I am jealous. And what about it?" I ask him. He has a stupid smile on his face, making me squint at him for how confident he turns from me being jealous of his past. He pries my chin closer to him, leaning in for a kiss, softly brushing his lips over mine. "It is just my past. You are my present... Hopefully, my future too..." He assures me, bringing his lips to the tip of my nose for a quick peck before he turns back to the steering wheel. I stare at him as he pulls in the road again, definitely turning softer after his comment.

"Have you ever been sucked off while driving?" I ask him, making him furrow. "Why?" He asks me back. "Just answer my question, Clifford." I press on it, making him shake his head. "No. It sounds kinda dangerous, to be honest." He states, making me hum. "Well, there is a first time for everything, I guess." I chuckle, undoing my seatbelt and bringing my hand to trace over his crotch. "What are you doing, princess?" He asks me, not taking his eyes off the road. "Nothing..." I purr innocently, unzipping his jeans. I take his cock out of his boxers, stroking it in my hand slowly as Michael shifts in his seat. "Doesn't look like nothing to me..." He clears his throat, gripping on the steering wheel harder while I pump him, trying to get him hard. "Want me to stop, daddy?" I ask, running my thumb over his tip. He gulps thickly, groaning a little as he shakes his head. "Please don't." He begs, making me smile for my achievement. My hand moves on his length with a tempo now, twisting a little on the way to the base of his cock. He seems to be excited about what is going on but still focused on the road ahead of us. That's until I wrap my lips around him, swirling my tongue against his tip as I hallow my cheeks and take his cock deeper in my mouth. "Oh shit." He groans, accidentally speeding up as his leg tenses. "I am going to fucking crash..." He sighs, pulling over the car so we can both stay safe. I slurp on his cock, moaning a little to provoke him. "Fuck, baby... Look at you..." He groans, bringing his hand to tangle in my hair. My hips move from side to side happily, enjoying the sting in my scalp while I take his cock deeper. It turns me on so much, to the point I have to press my thighs together to ease the feeling in my core. "Oh my... God, fuck..." He slurs, pushing my head down. I choke on his cock, eyes filling to the brim with tears as he fucks my face, moving his hips up to make sure his cock goes all the way down my throat. He lets go of my hair, letting me bring his dick out of my mouth while I gag. I tilt my head to the side, pressing my lips along his length as I look him in the eye. "Fuck me... Why do you look so good like that?" He asks me stroking my hair softly. He relaxes back on his seat, studying me as I try to get his dick coated in slickness. "You have no idea how wet I am right now..." I moan, taking his tip back between my lips. "Don't make me harder than I already am..." He hisses, just as I suck my cheeks in and bob my head along his length. "I probably shouldn't fucking cum in a rental car... But you are so good with those lips, so good with that mouth..." He mumbles groggily, his trail of words becoming incoherent as I suck him off. "Fuck, princess..." He pulls his cock out of my mouth, tapping it on my face as he strokes it, closing his eyes and moaning with his head thrown back until he cums on my lips. I lick them quickly, before licking his cock clean. "Shit... Look at you..." Michael cradles my face tenderly, looking at me with his usual post-orgasm face. I go back to my seat, lowering the shot-gun mirror to check myself. I clean the bit of cum that stains my face, while Michael fixes his clothes, eyeing him with the corner of my eyes.

We park by the tour bus in the Target parking lot, taking a second before we step out of the car. He turns to look at me, jaw clenching and eyes turning darker. "Take your panties off." He commands, making me gawk at him. "What? Why?" I ask him, feeling my core spasming around nothing. "You heard me... Take your panties off, hand them in." He demands, his voice stern and steady, causing me to obey him without thinking of it again. My fingers hitch in the waistband of my underwear and I buck my hips up to remove them, bunching them in my hand and hand them to him. "Good girl... Let's go in. You are very tired and we are going straight to bed. Do you understand me?" He asks, gripping at my jaw and looking at me in the eye. I nod my head at him and fix my dress, picking up my purse before stepping out of the car. Michael hands the keys to one of the assistance, wrapping his arm around my waist as we walk on the bus. "Hey. How was your date?" Luke asks us as we walk through the lounge they are gathered. "It was good. (Y/N)'s a bit tired so we are heading off. See you all in the morning." Michael quickly shuts them off, making me smirk to myself. It doesn't sound much convincing, even if I wasn't aware of his plans. I kick my shoes off before stripping off my dress and climbing in our bunk, looking at Michael as he does the same. He pushes me with my chest flat on the mattress, raising my hips as he presses himself against my back. "I will need you to be quiet, princess. We don't want our friends hearing your pretty, filthy moans..." He muses, bringing his hand between my folds and feeling my wetness. "You are soaked, baby... Look at you coating my hand..." He moans by my ear, biting on my earlobe softly. "Bet you will feel so good around my cock, princess..." He teases, making me hum in agreement as I buck my hips up involuntarily. "Oh, honey... Someone looks a bit too eager..." He grabs me by my hips, keeping me steady as he spreads my sex and lines his cock to my entrance. With a quick thrust, his length is inside me, spreading my walls to wrap around him. His lips are pressed against the back of my neck, planting kisses as he moves inside me. I grip onto the pillow, biting my lip as I take his thrusts. He moves his hand to stroke my body softly before he decides to grab my wrists in his hand and pull them behind my back, forcing me to arch my body more. "That's my pretty babe... You look like art..." He praises me, his lips marking my neck for everyone to see. "You feel so good inside me..." I whimper, trying to keep my voice quiet. The literal last thing I want is for the guys to hear us and ruin this. There is limited space in the bunk bed as it is, so Michael being on top of me makes the room available seem cramped, seemingly causing Michael to be closer to me than he normally would. "It's hot, isn't it? Me on top of you, fucking your tight little hole... It is going to be interesting just sleeping in here from now on..." He teases me, bringing one hand around my throat, causing me to extend my neck and push my chin up. I feel myself getting hotter, damp with sweat as the temperature rises in the small place. And Michael feels exactly like that against me, his hot skin rubbing on mine as he thrusts his hips on me making me feel even warmer. "Touch me..." I rasp, hoping he will get where exactly I want him to touch me. "My cock is not enough for you, princess? You are craving more?" He asks, with a groan covering the silence at the end of the sentence. His hand snakes from around my wrists down to my sex, fingertips lingering over my clit until I practically press my sex down on them. It feels like heaven, him thrusting inside me, fingers rubbing my clit, and a hand around my throat. My head feels heavy, eyes flickering open and shut. He is slow and deep with his thrusts, still close to the high from his recent orgasm. And I was ready to cum the moment he touched me; it has been too long since I felt all of him, too long since the last time we fucked, and watching him reach his orgasm as I had him in my mouth has gotten me so aroused, I swear I will burst any moment now. "Why are you pulsing around me already, princess?" Michael asks, pecking at my cheek softly. "I wanna cum... So bad." I cry, bucking my hips up against his. His fingers now work faster on my clit, causing my whole body to shake. "Do it... Cum, princess. You've earned it." He encourages me, sucking a hickey on my neck as I focus on letting go. I have to bite onto the pillow to keep myself from screaming, the euphoria coursing through my body overcoming me. Michael seems to enjoy my reaction, pulsing inside me as he rests on top of me, feeling my pussy tighten around him. "Fuck, baby. Wanna milk me dry?" He chuckles, kissing down my neck. "You don't want me milking you dry?" I whine, still feeling his hand on my clit. He doesn't respond, he just grunts and thrusts his hips on mine once more, before coming undone inside me. There is an animalistic sound coming from deep in his chest as he hits his high. His fingers are still toying with my clit, making me jolt with every stroke of his fingertips.

We are both calm and breathing regularly, but refuse to untangle from one another. He is stroking my hair softly, kissing down my shoulder blade as we relax more, silence taking over the cramped bunk bed. "I love you so much." Michael whispers softly, tracing his fingertip over my shoulder blade. "I love you too..." I smirk, turning my head to look at him. He is now laying on his back and I move to rest my head on his chest, planting a kiss or two in there. "You know you are my heaven on earth? You are the only one who can make me feel this way..." He explains, resting his hands on my back. "Is that the orgasm talking?" I chuckle but he shakes his head. "No. You truly are." He insists and I hum, pleased to hear his little confession. "I am glad I have that privilege." I reply, leaning up to kiss him softly. "I am so tired." I yawn, burying my face in his chest. "Makes sense. We should probably sleep. Or maybe we can have another round..." He wiggles his eyebrows at me, earning a laugh. "I am going to fall asleep halfway through, so... pass. But maybe if we wake up before everyone... We can have a go at the shower too..." I suggest. "That place is tiny..." He protests. "When that has stopped us exactly?" I ask, winking at him.

My Masterlist 

[littledrummeraussie]

darling of mine.

Word count: 4900+ Author’s Note: Found a promp post on Pinterest, and this happened.

masterlist.

”On a scale from one to ten, how bad of an idea do you think it would be if we got married?”

We were both lying on Ashton’s couch, lounging in the sunbeams shining through the windows. I was tucked against his side, one leg resting over his as Ashton’s hand held onto the bare skin on my thigh, pulling me closer. His other arm was curled around my waist under the shirt I stole from him, his fingers drawing patterns on my side or lightly drumming the songs that came to his mind.

I was sleepy and content wrapped in his embrace, my face buried in his neck – his scent clouded my mind, and I wasn’t paying attention to what I was saying. That is, until the drumming stopped, then Ashton’s fingers grabbed onto my hips and suddenly I was under him, his massive figure leaning over me with a mischievous smile all over his face.

”Off the charts,” he replied with a glint in his eyes. ”Let’s do it.”

”Ash, I was joking,” I said, sliding my hands onto his cheeks to make him look into my eyes.

”Well, I wasn’t” he tipped his head forward and planted a quick kiss on my lips. ”Come on, if we go now we can make it to Las Vegas a little after noon.”

”But…” I sat up as soon as he was off me, his fingers already typing up coordinates, looking up the route to the city. ”We have a lunch date with Calum?!”

”I’ll buy him a burger on the way, and he can be the witness. We do need a witness, right?” he looked up at me quickly, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth.

”I– think so…”

”You see? Clearly a win-win situation!”

”Wait, you can’t be serious!” my eyes widened when he started grabbing his things from the living room. Ash gave me a look, almost like he was challenging me. He crooked an eyebrow at me when I still haven’t moved from the couch.

”I’m wearing YOUR CLOTHES,” I looked from him back to myself; we wanted to spend a lazy day together, and I didn’t feel like putting on my own stuff, so I stole an old band shirt and a flannel from Ashton’s closet that morning. ”They are at least 3 sizes bigger than mine!”

Ashton came back to me, put both his hands on my knees, then started leaning closer, kissing my lips slowly, but deeply. One of his hands came up to my face, brushing my hair behind my ear, nuzzling his nose to mine when he pulled away.

”You’ve never looked more beautiful,” he whispered with a smile. ”Come on, it’s just a road trip. If you don’t feel like marrying me by the time we get to Vegas, that’s okay too. Then we still just had a fun day, right?”

”Alright you,” I’ve rolled my eyes at him, but returned his smile. ”Let’s go on a road trip.”

”Yes! Now come on, we have to pick up Cal!” he pulled me off the couch, sending me away to get my stuff.

”Oh, and Ash,” I’ve turned back to him from the door. ”One burger is not going to be enough.”

* * *

 ”What about Luke and Michael?” I asked Ash as we were waiting for Calum.

”They could be the perfect flower girls!” he grinned back at me, reaching for his phone.

”Who’s going to be a flower girl?” Calum’s head appeared between the two of us from the backseat. ”Is someone getting married?”

”Yes, we are,” answered Ashton, already explaining something to one of the guys on the phone.

”No, we are going on a road trip,” I looked back at Cal. ”It was just a joke.”

”We’re going to Vegas! I’m picking the others up as well!” Ash put his phone down, starting the car.

”Cool. But we are getting burgers though, right?” Calum asked, leaning back in his seat. ”Cause you know, you two promised me lunch, and I’m really hungry.”

”Everyone’s getting burgers, just help us get married today,” exclaimed Ash, making his way towards Luke’s house.

”You can’t bribe everyone with burgers,” I shook my head, but he just looked at me over the rim of his sunglasses, giving me a wink.

”Watch me, Y/L/N.”

* * *

We ended up getting 20 burgers, 10 big fries, drinks for everyone, and some kind of dessert that caught Michael’s attention; he demanded Ashton buys him some of that stuff, otherwise he goes back home and there will be no road-trip-wedding-extravaganza without Michael Clifford himself. The cashier looked at me questioningly while the guys were ordering – I was sure he thought I was being kidnapped by these four weird tattooed guys with their Aussie accents, arguing over cheese and onions and ketchup. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the cops pulled us over before we’ve reached the outskirts of LA.

As we went back to the car Mikey called shotgun, and already started eating his fries by the time we made it there. I gave a quick kiss to Ashton’s cheek, and sat on the backseat between Luke and Calum. Soon it really started to feel like a real road trip you take with your friends. There was music playing, the guys were joking and laughing, making comments about each other. Ashton was driving, his toothy smile never leaving his face as he sneaked looks at me in the rearview mirror. Michael was navigating, and Cal and Luke were trying to catch fries thrown at each other.

”I think we are going the wrong way,” frowned Mikey, still looking at his phone. ”We should have left the highway miles ago.”

”Don’t tell me we are lost,” said Ashton, already pulling over and parking the car. ”Give me your phone!”

”Hell no, you have your own!”

”Michael. Give. Me. The. Phone. NOW.”

As they were arguing, I’ve noticed Calum and Luke starting to munch on their leftover burgers, watching Ash and Michael like they were their favourite TV show. Without taking their eyes off of them, Cal offered me some burger and Luke his fries, both which I have declined.

”Mom and Dad are at it again,” commented Luke, and I needed to laugh at this. This caught the other two guys’ attention, and they slowly looked back at us.

”If you two are done with your old married couple fight, do you think we can continue this trip?”

”Please, come and sit back next to me before I strangle him,” pleaded Ashton, but I just shrugged at him.

”I’m perfectly fine just here between the cool kids,” I winked at him.

”There, Irwin,” said Michael finally, pushing his phone in front of Ashton’s face. ”Back that way, and we should be good. You happy now?”

”I’ll be when we get to Vegas,” he answered, casting me another look, then started the car. ”We have a wedding to get to.”

”Oh, this reminds me…” Cal was excitedly bouncing next to me, then gave me a grin and started singing. ”Goin' to the chapel and we're gonna get married…”

They were all singing the damn song for the next 20 miles or so.

* * *

Luke wanted to get coffee before we’ve arrived, so Ash stopped again at the nearest gas station, making the others buy us all drinks. I was leaning against the door, watching cars passing by on the highway, waiting for the guys to come back. I was drawing patterns on the pavement with my shoes, until Ashton’s sneakers appeared in front of mine, pushing our toes together, and I’ve looked up at him.

”Are you okay?” he asked me, already reaching for me to pull me to his chest.

”Yeah,” I breathed, slipping into his arms. ”I’m fine.”

”Y/N,” his fingers went under my chin, tipping my head up to look at him again. ”Is this wedding thing bothering you? You really don’t want to marry me? Cause you know you don’t have to. I would understand.”

”It’s… all just really quick, I guess,” my eyes slid down to his jacket, and I started fussing with the pins on the lapel. ”We’re not even engaged, we’ve… we’ve never talked about marriage and stuff. I’ve only moved in with you like… five months ago.”

”Do you think we should turn around?” he asked again, his fingers sneaking into the loops of my jeans. ”You just have to say the words, and we will go home. Really, it’s okay.”

”Ash, what is that you want?” I looked back at him, tugging on his jacket. ”Do you really want to get married?”

”I just want you,” he rested his forehead against mine, closing his eyes for a long moment, then looked at me with something that could only be described as: ”I love you. And god knows I wanted to do this the right way, buying you a ring, properly ask you, maybe even make an announcement filled with heart emojis and stuff. But then everyone would be all over us, and I… I want it to be about us, just you and me. So when you’ve asked me this morning, it just felt like the perfect thing to do.”

”I’ve thought you would want a big party with friends and family. You know, all dressed up, fancy food, crazy best friends making speeches, maybe even fireworks…”

”We have the crazy best friends with us. And anyway, you’ve asked me what would happen if we’ve got married,” he booped my nose with his finger.

”It just slipped out,” I blushed, casting my gaze down.

”But you’ve been thinking about it, right?” he asked again, and I nodded.

”Of course. Every girl does that. I’m no exception,” I shrugged my shoulder with a smile.

”I could go down on one knee right now and ask you to marry me, if that’s what you want,” Ashton put his hand on my cheek, caressing it. ”We can forget about the trip and just go home. I’ll buy you a ring, and we can start planning the big day. You can have the wedding of your dreams, you can have anything. Just say the words.”

”Ash, it really doesn’t matter how we do this. As long as I’m marrying you, any wedding is my dream wedding.”

”So what do we do now?”

”I say we go to Vegas,” I’ve put my arms around his neck, pushing myself up on my tiptoes so I could look into his eyes. ”We get married, because you’re right, this is just for us. And then we can always just throw an afterparty to those who feel like they’ve missed it.”

”God, I love you so much!” he planted a kiss on my lips, which earned us some catcalls from the guys who were just coming back from the shop.

”Did we miss something, lovebirds?” asked Michael, offering me one of the drinks in his hands.

”We’re getting married!” I smiled at him while holding onto Ashton.

”For real?” asked Luke.

”For real,” nodded Ash with a grin, giving me another kiss on the top of my head.

”Took you long enough,” said Calum, passing Ash his coffee while going for the passenger seat. ”So let’s go!”

”Two more things,” I turned back to Ashton, squeezing his hand in mine.

”Anything for you,” he returned the squeeze, still smiling like the happiest man on Earth. And I was sure he was exactly that.

”If we’re gonna do this, let me get an appropriate dress when we arrive. You can get us rings while I do that,” I leaned up to him to kiss his cheek. ”And… I love you too.”

* * *

”You’re stalling,” said Calum as he held the pile of clothes I wanted to try on.

”No, I’m looking for a dress,” I answered as I went through the next rack.

When we’ve arrived to Las Vegas, we quickly decided on a little chapel that we’ve both liked, and made plans to meet back there once we have found everything we needed. Luke and Michael went with Ashton to buy us some rings, and Calum came with me to a nearby thrift shop to look for a wedding dress. We were really doing it – we were getting married.

”You know he’s serious about this, right?” Cal stopped me, turning me around to face him. ”Sure, I’ve thought he was joking in the beginning, but… I can see how he looks at you, especially now. He is dead serious about you.”

”I know, Calum,” I nodded, smiling at him. ”Me too. I’ve never been this serious about anyone else. Ashton is… special.”

”Then why not just do it? Get married and be done with it? Why the dress and the ring?” he asked me as I made my way towards the changing room.

”Because Ashton is special,” I repeated it. ”I know he would love me dressed in his clothes too, but I want to look pretty for him today.”

”You’re always beautiful for him, that’s no question,” he finally smiled at me. ”I’m sure he appreciates the effort.”

”Thanks Cal. Now, I will need your amazing taste to find me the perfect dress,” I said, kissing his cheek, and disappearing into the changing room.

We spent the next half an hour going through the dresses I have picked out, until I’ve finally found the one. Calum took it from me, saying he will pay for it as a wedding gift, and it made my heart melt. As I made my way after him, my eyes landed on a pair of shoes that I’ve thought could be perfect with my new dress, and I’ve added it to the pile of things at the cashier’s desk. Cal crooked an eyebrow at me.

”And those?”

”My shoes,” I smiled, bouncing on my toes next to him.

”You’re definitely the perfect fit for him,” he laughed, reaching for his wallet.

”And what’s in that?” I asked, reaching for a package I knew I did not choose.

”That’s a surprise,” he pulled my hands away gently. ”You will see it pretty soon.”

* * *

There was a knock on the door of the small room in the back of the chapel where I’ve changed into my wedding dress. I’ve stopped fiddling with my shoes, waiting a few seconds before finding my voice and asked who it was.

”It’s Luke. Are you dressed? Can I come in?”

”Yeah, it’s okay,” I answered, and he stepped into the room.

”Look at you,” Luke smiled brightly, spinning me around to see all the details. ”Damn, Ashton is one lucky man.”

”Is he alright?” I couldn’t keep my nervous question to myself, and Luke just let out a laugh.

”He’s down the hallway in the other room with Cal and Michael. Pretty sure he’s fussing with his hair or something. He’s fine. Wants to already put a ring on this,” he winked at me, and his cheeky comment made me laugh as well, making my nerves go away.

”Well, I’m actually ready, so… we might as well go and make this happen,” I smiled at Luke, who nodded, but then held up his hands.

”Oh, I’ve got you something,” he quickly stepped outside to retrieve a bouquet of flowers and a simple flower crown that he placed on top of my head. ”There. Perfect.”

”Luke, this… this… I just… thank you,” I started to tear up, and he hugged me immediately.

”Please don’t cry, Ashton will think I’ve made you upset or something, and…”

”No, no, he won’t,” I laughed, hugging him back. ”This means a lot to me, thank you. Really.”

”There’s no wedding without flowers,” he said with a smile, then wiped my tears away. ”I’m gonna check in with the guys and after that – may I walk you down the aisle, Ms Y/L/N?”

”It would be my pleasure, Mr Hemmings.”

* * *

We were standing behind the door, waiting for the music to start. Luke promised me that they have chosen an appropriate song for us and that I don’t have to get married to some tacky radio hit. I was already holding onto his arm, waiting, waiting, waiting. I was getting more and more nervous – it felt unreal; a few hours ago we were lying on the couch with Ashton, just basking in the early morning sunlight, and now I was wearing a white dress in a chapel in Las Vegas, ready to promise him forever and always. Luke squeezed my arms when the first chords started playing, giving me an encouraging smile.

”Ready to steal our drummer?”

”You’re never getting him back,” I squeezed his arm, and he nodded.

”Good. He was annoying as hell,” he commented with another smile, and opened the door, leading me inside.

I didn’t have time to look around, because my eyes were already focused on the back of the room where Michael and Calum stood with matching grins, looking from me to Ashton, and then back. And Ashton – he was everything.

He was wearing a black button-up shirt with a red rose pattern and his signature leather jacket, hair styled to perfection, with the biggest, happiest smile on his face. He couldn’t take his eyes off of me, and I felt exactly the same way – I just wanted to look at him forever. Luke gave me one last hug when we’ve arrived next to the guys, and one after the other they stepped to me. Calum embraced me, giving a kiss on my cheek; over his shoulder I could see Ashton quickly wiping his eyes while Luke patted him on the back.

”Because you are special too,” Calum whispered quietly in my ear. ”And you deserve a well-dressed man on your wedding day as well.”

”Was it your idea?” I asked with a smile, but he shook his head.

”All his. I was just the errand boy,” he returned my smile, and slowly let go of me. ”I’m really glad it’s you. My boy chose well.”

”Thanks Cal,” I gave his hand a squeeze as Michael came and looked me up and down.

”Are those… pink Converse?” he quirked an eyebrow at me, and I grinned at him. ”Damn, you guys really are perfect for each other.”

”Michael, are you… crying?” I asked when he rubbed his face, turning away a little.

”No, it’s just a… fuck it, yes, I’m crying!” he shook his head, quickly hugging me. ”I’m just happy for you idiots, that’s all. I’m allowed to cry!”

We held each other for a little more, then I gave him a kiss on his cheek, and Mikey gave me the thumbs up, then lead me up the two steps so I was finally standing in front of Ashton. Calum took the flowers away from me, and Ash reached for my hands, interlocking our fingers and squeezing them.

”Hey gorgeous,” he smiled at me, his eyes never leaving mine. ”Damn, look at you.”

”You’re not too bad yourself, Irwin,” I winked at him, and he just started laughing.

”You know you’re gonna be wearing that name from now on, right?”

”And I’m gonna enjoy every second of it,” I promised him, making Ashton’s smile even brighter.

The officiant welcomed us all, quickly starting the ceremony itself, not wasting any time. All I could see was Ashton, smiling and looking back at me with love and adoration all through the service. I felt like the luckiest girl alive, standing there in my short dress and pink shoes, flower crown on my head, with the man I loved, and our three amazing friends supporting us all through our sudden and crazy decision. I knew I wouldn’t have this wedding any other way – it really was perfect for us.

Then suddenly Michael stepped up to us, holding out two simple silver wedding bands, giving us both smiles as we took them from him. Ashton slowly turned the ring around in his hand, then took my hand and slid it on my finger.

”I’m crazy about you – so crazy that when you jokingly asked me if us getting married would be a bad idea, I knew that there’s no way I’m not marrying you today,” Ash started, looking up at me, brushing a lock of hair behind my ear. ”You’re perfect to me, and before you start arguing, yes, you are. Because there’s nobody else who would have said yes to such an insane idea this morning. And I want to thank you for that. You’re the cherry on top of this crazy life I have, and I’m lucky to call you mine, darling.”

”Damn, even I would marry him,” we all heard Calum whispering, and a laugh ran through us all.

”Too late,” I scrunched up my face at him, and after he blew me a kiss, I turned to Ashton, slipping the ring on his finger too. ”This morning I’ve thought you were crazy, bribing people with burgers to take a road trip with us to Vegas. And yet, I knew there was no way I would skip this trip. Somehow… I knew that we would end up here, and I don’t mind it at all. Not even a little. I still think you are crazy, but I want to be crazy with you for the rest of my life. I love you Ash. There’s no one else I’d rather call my husband than you.”

Ashton blushed, trying to blink away his sudden tears, mumbling something about flowers and allergies, but there was no way you could wipe the smile off of his face. The officiant said a few more words, then smiled at the both of us.

”And with this, I now pronounce you husband and wife,” he nodded at Ashton. ”You may kiss your bride!”

”Oh hell yeah, I will,” Ash stepped closer to me with a grin, his fingers sliding up my jaw to hold my face.

”Too much talk, Irwin,” I started to tease him. ”And not enough kissing.”

”We can’t have that now, can we?” he crooked an eyebrow at me, and when I started to laugh again, he pulled me closer and pushed his lips against mine, kissing me passionately.

There was clapping coming from the guys with bonus catcalls and shouts, and it just fuelled Ashton to kiss me as long as he can – and honestly, I was more than happy to let him do it. I would have given up on breathing if it meant that I can keep his lips close to mine.

”Oh my god, stop it!” finally one of the guys shouted at us, but Ash just smiled into the kiss, whispering. ”Never.”

* * *

”Can I just steal you away for a few minutes?”

”Sure.”

We were piled into a booth at a close by diner, eating another round of burgers, pancakes and waffles. It was getting dark, and we still had the whole journey back to LA before us, so we decided to take the time and have dinner, a nice way to finish our day together. Ashton’s hand never left my waist as we sat next to each other, sharing fries and smiles all through dinner. My flower crown wandered over to Ash while we were taking photos, then Luke put it on for a while, and now it was sitting on the top of Mikey’s head as he devoured his pancakes.

”Don’t have sex in the bathroom,” Luke called after us as Ash took my hand, leading me to the door.

As we stepped outside, he took his jacket off, putting it over my shoulders, then he found a nearby bench and sat down, pulling me into his lap. My arms went around his neck, and leaned my head against his as his fingers caressed my side. We were so close to each other that our foreheads and noses were touching. Ashton’s eyes were searching me, and I silently waited for his next words.

”We’re married,” he said finally, then his face split into a wide smile. ”We’re married!”

”You officially can’t get rid of me,” I ran my fingers over the back of his neck, sliding them into his hair. ”You’re stuck with me now.”

”It’s a dream come true,” he pushed his lips against mine for a quick kiss. ”And now that you’re off the market, I don’t have to worry about anyone else stealing you.”

”Ash, you know there was only ever you,” I kissed him back, then nuzzled my face into his neck. ”I love you, silly.”

”And I love you, darling,” he pulled me closer to his body, locking his arms around me. ”I love you.”

We sat there together, quietly confessing our love for each other until the guys gave up on the waiting game, and came to pick us up. Michael offered to drive, so with Luke on the passenger seat, and Calum, Ashton and me in the back, we started to make our way home. Luke was the first one to fall asleep, feet up on the dashboard and head lolling to the side. I was leaning against Ashton’s shoulder, battling sleep as well, but both his and Calum’s body on my other side were warm; in the end Cal’s light snoring and Ashton’s fingers in my hair slowly lulled me to sleep.

* * *

”Y/N? Hey, we’re home,” Ashton’s soft words woke me up, and I looked up at him.

The others were already out of the car, yawning and stretching – the flower crown ended up on Calum’s head, and the white flowers looked absolutely amazing in his dark hair. Ashton rubbed my arms, trying to warm me up a little as I was trying to work through my sleepy haze. He opened the car door and helped me out, pulling me to his body, keeping me warm there as well.

”Just take the car, you can drop it off tomorrow,” he said to Michael and the others. ”Thanks for coming with us today. And for bringing us home.”

”Thanks for not eloping without us,” smiled Calum, giving us a half hug. ”That wouldn’t have been fun.”

”Is this the part where you all give your best man speeches?” I mumbled against Ashton’s chest, and all four of them started laughing.

”There will be a time for that as well,” said Luke, and I smiled at him. ”You will be getting embarrassing stories about your husband. A lot of them, actually.”

”I can’t wait,” I winked at him, and Ashton huffed out another laugh.

”Gee, thanks guys. Where’s the bro code? What about my dignity?”

”She already married you, she’s stuck with you, Ash!” Michael shook his head, and patted Ashton’s back. ”You’re fucked, my man.”

”Talking about being fucked,” I heard the smirk in Ashton’s voice. ”Maybe it’s better if you bring back the car the day after tomorrow…”

”Oh my gOD, I’M OUT OF HERE!” Michael was already back in the car, so Luke and Calum took their seats, and waved at us as the car disappeared down the street.

We made our way up the stairs, but before I could go inside, Ashton picked me up, bringing me over the threshold, planting a kiss on my lips after closing the door. He did not stop there though, but started to go up the stairs again until he reached our bedroom. He put me down on the bed, first taking his jacket off of me, then started to pull off my shoes as well. I leaned back, getting comfortable on the bed, until he finally lay down next to me.

”Hey,” Ash smiled at me, reaching over to caress my face.

”Hey you,” I turned to face him, catching his hand to plant a kiss on his palm. ”Husband.”

”Hmm. I like that, Mrs Irwin,” he dropped his hand to take mine, bringing it up to his lips to kiss the ring on my finger. ”Has a real nice ring to it.”

”Well, I do have a nice ring,” I booped his nose, making Ashton laugh. ”You also have a really nice ring to yourself.”

”It’s definitely my favourite one,” he interlocked our fingers, resting our hands between us on the bed. ”That, and the one you are wearing. You are… mine. And I can’t get enough of this feeling. Or you, for the matter.”

”You can prove that in the morning,” I leaned over to kiss him. ”I’m looking forward to a full day long wedding night.”

”You’re definitely getting fucked in that dress,” he gave me a smirk, and I rolled my eyes at him with a smile.

”Always the romantic, Irwin,” I cuddled up to his side, and he pulled the covers over us, holding me close to himself.

”You signed up for a lifetime or sarcasm, Y/L/N. Just saying,” he yawned, then started running his fingers through my hair. ”Do you think you can handle that?”

”It’s on, Irwin,” I nuzzled my face against his neck. ”It’s so on.”

I was already falling asleep, and Ashton’s fingers were also slowing down in my hair. I felt his hand sliding down to my waist, drawing a simple pattern there like he did in the morning. There was a moment of silence, then he pressed a soft kiss against my temple.

”Y/N?” I felt him smile against my skin.

”Ash.”

”I love you. Wifey.”

”I love you more. Husband.”

”Say it again?” he whispered once more, and I gave him one last squeeze before falling asleep.

”Husband.”

[magpiemorality]

Hi, I just went to a funeral, so can you write something? Perhaps Moceit with toll Patton making fun of short Deceit. Sorry if uts to much of a bother!

Something sweet to ease the day a bit

AO3

***

“Hey, short stuff.” 

“Don’t start,” Delaney grumbled, carrying the heavy shopping bags in through the apartment door and setting them on the side to begin unpacking. “Hi,” he added, flashing a quick smile in greeting like he always did, despite his mood. “The traffic was so bad, ugh. I know I’ve only got a small car but like, that does not give those damn four by four drivers the right to just cut in like that I swear-” 

Patton watched him from the kitchen table with a fond grin, leaning his chin in his hands as Delaney ranted about the various injustices he’d faced on the road home, interjecting with the odd hum or appropriate comment. When Delaney realised he was being watched he faltered, turning round to raise an eyebrow at Patton. “You gonna help with the tall shelves, beanpole, or are you gonna make me pull a chair over while you grin like a big ol’ chump?” 

“Beanpole is it, squirt?” 

“Squirt! I’ll squirt you with the super soakers I hid away if you’re not careful mister.” 

“Huh, I thought you’d thrown those out because, and I quote; ‘you are a hazard to society when armed with even a harmless weapon such as these’?” 

Delaney stuck his tongue out, dumping a few cans of soup into Patton’s arms when he joined him by the cupboards. “You were a hazard to society. Just because someone starts doing it on the internet does not mean you should too.” Patton raised an eyebrow, still grinning as he reached up to the higher shelves to stack the cans away. “But no, I didn’t throw them out. But they’re under close guard, so don’t go snooping for them or I will be forced to…”

Patton laughed. ��Alright, alright. I won’t go snooping. But can we please get them out at the weekend? It’s supposed to be gorgeous weather and we can take them to the park!” 

“Okay, Clifford, sure thing.” 

“Clifford?” 

“Yeah like the dog. The big one. Cause of those darn puppy eyes of yours.” 

“I knew you liked me really…” 

Delaney hid a smile as Patton leaned down to pick him up in a tight hug. “I hate everything that’s happening right now,” he said, but Patton knew the truth. 

“Love you too. Shorty.”

“Hey-!”

[jpgluke]

Animals // AI

Warnings: smut and swearing

Word count: 1k

Summary: bad boy Ashton picks you up for a night ride ;^)

A/N: ok so I wrote smut for the first time the other day now I can’t stop. Someone stop me please. Anyways please let me know if y’all liked this. If you didn’t then I didn’t write it hehe xD love y’all also if u couldn’t tell this is based off Animals by nickelback

ASHTON IRWIN X READER

You knew your parents didn’t like Ashton. He was trouble for sure. But you didn’t care. You were old enough to make your own decisions. You checked your phone to see the time, 12:27 am. Ashton should be pulling up soon. He was never late to pick you up.

You walked down the hall standing near your parents door peeking in to make sure they both were tucked in and asleep. You twisted the doorknob and closed the door as quietly as you could. You could hear the gravel from him pulling into your driveway. You threw a couple pillows in your bed just in case your mom woke up and checked on you. Checked your appearance in the mirror puffing your hair and rubbing your lips so they looked fuller and red.

You slipped out your bedroom window and approached his all black car. He already had the door swung open for you to get in quickly.

“Hey good looking.” He placed a kiss on your lips and pulled away almost as fast as it started. You wanted more but you needed to get out of your driveway. Ashton looked great he was wearing a silky red shirt buttoned up a few buttons too high. You reached over and unbuttoned a few buttons to expose his chest and all his necklaces. A quiet “Fuck” escaped your lips while your fingers grazed his open chest toying with the necklaces. Pulling on one of the chains so he would lean over and kiss you. His eyes stayed on the road while you reached over and started squeezing his thigh. Every time you squeezed he would accelerate sending a rush of adrenaline through you both.

“When’d you get your car back?” Your hand remained on his thigh while you spoke loudly over the blaring music. “Today.” He laughed when you squeezed and the speed increased again. “Fuck I’ve missed these hands” he took a sharp turn down a path you two knew all too well.

He put the car in park by the hidden train tracks. He grabbed your hand off his thigh and kissed the back then placed small kisses all the way up your arm before dropping your hand to move his hands to cup your face. His lips were slightly chapped from the cold weather outside but that didn’t stop you two. His hand traveled down your face to wrap around your neck putting the slightest bit of pressure. The metal rings on his fingers provided a slight chilly sensation. One hand stayed on your neck while the other started unzipping the jacket you had thrown over yourself on your way out the window. You had passed on wearing a shirt underneath the jacket because you knew it wouldn’t be on long anyways.

“You comfortable?” His voice was low and raspy turning you on even more. You nodded your head to signify you were okay. You tilted your head back as Ashtons hand found your center. He gently rubbed on the outside of your pants.

“Fuck baby I can feel it through these layers.” His hand on your throat dropped down to caress your thigh while the other rubbed circles over your clothes. Ashton tilted his head indicating he wanted you to get in the backseat. You crawled over the center console awkwardly. You’ve done this a million times yet can never make it look graceful. You two probably spent more time in the backseat of his car on top of each other than in the front seat. Ashton got out of the car to crawl in the backseat sitting next to you. He slid into the middle seat and you climbed on top of him. The jacket that once was slung over your shoulders got flung into the passenger seat along with Ashtons shirt. You started moving your hips in a circular motion to cause some friction between you and Ashton. You could feel him getting hard underneath you. His hands found their way to the back of your bra unhooking it and adding it to the growing pile of clothing. The contact of your bare skin to his sent tiny electric shocks throughout your body. Ashton grabbed all your hair up in one swoop pulling it out of the way. Your neck was calling his name. He placed a few soft kisses before he started nibbling at it. He knew it would leave a mark in the morning. He wanted everyone to know what you had been up to.

“Switch me spots baby girl.” Ashton’s hands were barely present on your body. “I want to please you.” He sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and bit down on it while you took your bottoms off and leaned against the car door. Both his hands slid up your thighs meeting at your pussy.

Just as he was about to dip down and devour your sweet juices you heard a noise come from outside. The windows were pretty fogged up.

“It’s probably just the wind. Don’t worry about it.” Ashton continued where he left off and slid his tongue down your entrance slipping his index finger inside you. The feeling of him inside you made you forget about the noises outside the car and your paranoia faded away. That’s when the headlights lit up behind Ashtons car.

“That’s my dads truck Ash!” You tried as fast as you could to reach for something to cover yourself with. Ashton crawled into the front seat fumbling to find the keys. “What the fuck where are the keys?” You could hear the panic in his voice before he grabbed the keys off the floor boards jamming it into the ignition and firing up the car. He didn’t even give it any time to warm up before he was ripping out sight.

“Oh fuck Ashton I’m so screwed.” You put on the rest of your clothes in the back seat while Ashton mindlessly drove. “What am I supposed to do?” You crawled into the front seat and joined Ashton.

“Fuck if I know?” He shrugged his shoulders like always. Not really caring about the situation as much as he should.

“Ugh. Just take me home then.”

Ashton pulled into your long gravel drive as you saw your father sitting on the front porch waiting for you to arrive. You turned and looked at Ashton getting one last long look. You knew you wouldn’t be seeing him for awhile.

“Good luck baby girl” he grabbed your face and placed a long hard kiss against your lips as you gathered your things and headed to your execution.

TAGLIST:

@gigglyirwin @exoticcal @mysticalhood @cashton-queen @hemmomfg @calthesensation @you-of-ghost @norawashere @itjustkindahappenedreally @cold-coffee-clifford @softboycal @fremioneforalways @missingyoucth @addaams @suburbanaesthetics

[wildmichaelflower]

Oml fluff 10 w mikey please? Hes so cute I love 1 dumbass 😫😫😫

10. Are we on a date right now? 

You bit your lip as you wipe your hands on your jeans, waiting for your friend Michael to pick you up. You were nervous, to say the least, as this was the first date with the man you had been crushing on for at least six months. You mustered up the courage to ask him out last week, when he admitted that he was thinking about dating again. 

You smiled as he pulled into your driveway, giving you a wave as he got out.

“Hey Bug,” he opened his arms, inviting you into a hug then wrapping his arms around you once you were close enough. 

“Hey Michael,” you smiled and melted into the hug, “Ready for dinner?”

“Yep! We’re going to your favorite!”

Your smile grew as you pulled away, “Really?”

“Yep,” he smiled as he walked around, opening the car door for you, “My date.”

You giggled and got in, “Thank you kind sir,” you buckled up and watched him go back around to the driver’s side, getting in and pulling out to the road.

You had the radio on, but the car was filled with your conversations and laughter, beginning with your day then discussing the upcoming tour.

“I wanted to get back into dating, but with tour coming up, it would be hard to start something unless I already know the person or dated someone from the industry, which just seems like a mess,” Michael laughed.

You nodded, “So option one then?” You smiled.

He nodded in agreement, pulling into the parking lot then getting out to open your door. You blushed as he offered his hand, smiling as you took it and following him inside. 

“Hi, I have a reservation for two under Clifford,” he smiled as he greeted the host, who took a second to check the monitor in front of him. Once he found it, he smiled and grabbed two menus.

“Follow me please,” he turned and led you two to a booth, waiting for you two to sit down before handing you your menus.

“Your server will be right with you,” he smiled and disappeared back to his section. 

You smiled and looked around, “I love this place, not just the food, but the aesthetic and the atmosphere.” 

Michael smiled and nodded, glancing at his menu before looking around too before focusing his eyes on you. You glanced at him and blushed, pretending to read your menu into the server came.

“Hi there, I’m Hannah and I’ll be your sever tonight,” the young woman smiled, “Do we know what we’d like or would we like more time?” 

“I’m ready if you are Bug,” Michael smiled and you nodded in response. You both placed your orders and the server smiled as she disappeared into the kitchen.

You smiled, “Thanks for agreeing to come out with me Mikey.”

“Of course, but I was surprised you had just asked me out and not the other boys, but I’m guessing it’s because I’m your favorite,” he winks.

Before you could respond, the waitress came back, setting your drinks down. 

“Your food will be out in about ten minutes. Is there anything more I could grab the lovely couple before then?” She smiled and you shook your head.

“No, thank you,” you smiled as she walked away and turned back to Michael.

“Wait..” Michael’s eyes widened, “Are we on a date right now?” 

You couldn’t help the giggle that escaped in response to his outburst and nodded, “That’s what I was hoping this would be.”

Michael grinned, “Oh thank god! I was hoping to ask you out after tonight, but it seems you beat me to it. Now I understand why the other boys weren’t asked to join us.”

You smiled and took one of his hands and yours, “Does this mean I’m your option one?”

He chuckled and nodded, kissing your knuckles, “You’ll always be my option one Bug, never forget that.”

You blushed and, later that night, you smiled as Michael walked you to your front door. 

“Next time, I’ll surprise you with a date,” he joked, “And I’ll do it right, get you some flowers.”

You laughed and shook your head, “I just need you Mikey.”

He smiled, “Am I your option one too?”

“Mm, more like my only option,” you winked.

He laughed and nodded, looking into your eyes before slowly stroking your cheek, smiling as he blushed, then whispered,

“Can I kiss you?”

You nodded, closing your eyes as you felt his lips connect to yours, smiling as he pulled away.

“Wow..” He grinned, “That was..”

“Perfect,” you finished, “The only way to end the night right.”

He nodded in agreement and gently kissed you again, “Or maybe that was it.”

You giggled, “I think the only option is for to end an a kiss, no matter how many we do before.”

He smiled, “Here’s to us being each other’s one and only’s.”

You nodded, “Here’s to us,” you smiled as you kissed him again

-----------------------------------------------

I hope you enjoy Bug! I’m so sorry this is late!! 

[georgiaoutloud-blog]

5sos Preference: First date

Luke: You frantically finished up your makeup as you heard Luke's car pulling into the driveway. His worn out converse making a familiar pitter patter against the concrete as he walked to your front door, giving it a solid knock.

"(Y/n)! Luke's here." Your mum called up the stairs, startling you slightly. You recomposed yourself before excitedly skipping down the stairs to be greeted by a handsome Luke.

"Damn, you look amazing." Luke complimented making you blush, his arm slipping around your waist.

"Thanks, so what's the plan Lucas?" You tease with a cheesy smile.

He groaned, "Um, it's a surprise, I guess." He unsurely said making you feel a little disappointed. Moments later you were in Luke's car driving to the mysterious destination, it was dark out so you didn't recognise your surroundings until the car stopped.

"We're at the park?" You said feeling confused, you had no idea what the night would bring, leaving Luke to make the plans.

"That is correct." Luke hopped out of the car doing a brisk jog around to open your door like a true gentleman. "Come with me." Luke took your hand and lead you into the park, coming across a picnic blanket that had been delicately decorated with candles, blankets and a picnic basket. "I know this is cliche but do you like it?" Luke asked nervously playing with his hands.

"Luke I love it." You hugged him, pulling him down to sit on the blanket with you. You spent the rest of the evening talking, cuddling and stargazing.

* * *

Calum: It was finally the night, the night you had been counting down to.

You were finally getting to watch a Greenday live, well that and you were going on a date with Calum Hood.

You were upset when you found out the tickets had sold out, you told Calum and somehow he managed to get two tickets. You both loved Greenday, one of the many things you had in common, so you agreed to go on a date with him to the concert.

Calum's large hand had a firm grip on your wrist making sure he would not lose you no matter what, you both fought through the crowds to get near the front. The music was blaring and people were going wild as the band entered the stage, it was almost overwhelming but exhilarating at the same time.

You and Calum were both screaming and cheering as the music played. "Go Greenday!" Calum screamed like a teenage girl which was something you found amusingly adorable.

You held tightly onto Calum's toned arm as everyone pushed and danced, you both sang along to all the words, not caring that it was out of tune.

You could see Calum's mouth moving but his words were overpowered by the loud atmosphere.

"What?" You mouthed back.

He leaned in closely to talk in your ear, you felt shivers rising up your spine when his hot breath was fanned over your face.

"Are you having fun?" He spoke loudly into your ear.

You gave him a thumbs up and he smiled back.

"I know what could make this even funner." You spoke into his ear.

He furrowed his eyebrows and had a questioning look on his face.

You got on your tiptoes, leaning closer to his face and left a gentle kiss on his plump lips.

* * *

Ashton:

You huffed, falling back into the leather seats of Ashton's car, he was taking you to school as usual. Ashton smiled as you got in, he was looking extra good today, you on the other hand looked like a mess, a hot mess that is.

"Hey, change of plan, how about we go on a date today?" A cheeky smirk crept onto his face as his eyes concentrated on the road.

"What about school?" You asked, not fully rejecting the idea of the date, it sounded fun and Ashton was a great guy, who cared if he was a little older than you.

"It's only one day, nobody will notice and if they do you can blame me." He tapped the steering wheel, waiting for your final answer.

"Okay, where are we going?" You tilted your head, looking at him expectantly.

"Uh well, it was kind of a last minute decision to ask you so I have no idea." He bit his lip, deep in thought.

"How about ice cream?" You suggested.

"Sure, we could also go to the arcade or something, if you want to that is." Ashton smiled as the plans started coming together.

You and Ashton spent the whole day at the arcade located on the pier, so far you had won every game, you had your suspicions that Ashton had been letting you win "Stop letting me win." You complained as you both started a game of air hockey.

"I'm not, you're just good." Ashton shrugged from the other side of the table.

You ended up winning yet another game. "Ok, I guess I am good." You giggled.

After you both left the arcade, Ashton bought you your favourite flavour ice-cream. He got himself a chocolate chip ice-cream which was apparently his favourite. You both shared each others, which neither of you minded.

You and Ashton sat by the sea, hand in hand, watching the sun set. It was a perfect date and well worth skipping school for.

* * *

Michael: At first, it started out like another ordinary day, that was until you went over your best friend, Michael's house. It was like a daily routine for you and him to play video games, eat pizza and talk bullshit about everyone and everything.

"Do you want some cookies and milk?" Michael's mum popped her head around the door to ask you both while you were sitting in his room in the middle of a game.

"Mum, go away! We're busy." Michael yelled angrily as he was losing the game.

"Sure, I'd love some cookies." You smiled gratefully, obviously you wouldn't give up the chance to have cookies, Michael's mum made the best cookies. Michael rolled his eyes at you, his mom happily skipped down to the kitchen to fetch you the cookies.

"What game do you want to play now?" Michael asked, shuffling though the box of games he owned.

"How about (insert game name)?" You grin, Michael knows it's your favourite game.

"Fine but take it easy on me." He chuckled, pulling the game out and setting it up.

"I can't make any promises Clifford." You smirked grabbing the controller.

After a very intense game of (whatever game you chose) you had to go home because it was getting late and your mum wanted you to get something from the store on the way home.

"Bye see you tomorrow." Michael waved at you as you left down the street.

"That was a great date." You smiled.

"What?" Michael furrowed his brows but had a small smile growing.

"What?" You shrugged before leaving, a smirk on your face.

[allsassnoclass]

i blame it on the weather (can you make it better)

Pairing: Michael Clifford/Calum Hood

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences

Key Tag(s): College AU, Cold, Angst with a Happy Ending

Word Count: 6,177

Read on AO3

A/N: this was tailor-made for @michaelownsmyheart​. I hope you like it darling <3 also big shout out to @clumsyclifford​ for looking this over and giving me Good Advice

—

Michael doesn’t remember the dorm being this cold when he left in December.  He doesn’t know how the space between him and Calum got that cold, either.

—

The drive back to campus feels shorter than normal, songs on the radio flying by with other cars on the highway the further Michael gets from his family and the closer he gets to the loneliness of an empty dorm.  Normally he wouldn’t mind having the place to himself, especially because that means he can blast music as loud as he wants and no one else is going to take the shower with the good water pressure, but there’s something foreboding about it now.

His phone is still empty of messages from the one person he’s been waiting to hear from.  Two weeks alone in the dorms wouldn’t be so bad if he had Calum on the other end of the line to keep him company.

He pulls into his parking spot right as snow begins to fall, a little earlier than predicted.  He sends a quick text to his parents to let them know he made it safe, then grabs his bags and makes the trek to his dorm.  It’s an older building elegantly nestled between the newer residence halls with better air conditioning or elevators that don’t break down every month, but there’s more character to it.  The other dorms are boxy and made of dark brick, but this one is lighter with turrets at the top and heavy wooden doors.  It looks more like a fantasy castle than a dorm building, and Michael’s mum had fallen in love with it immediately on their campus tour a few years ago.  Now that Michael is living here it’s lost some of its luster, but it’s also the only building to have single rooms, and while having Luke as a roommate turned out alright in the end last year, he likes being able to have the room to himself all of the time.

Michael fumbles for his key card to swipe himself in, biting off one of his gloves so he can get it out of his wallet.  Thick flakes land on his coat and hands, the kind that would probably be good for making snowmen if he still did stuff like that but that will be hell to drive in later.  Hopefully the roads will be clear enough by tomorrow, and he probably has some ramen that he never made from last semester that he can heat up for dinner tonight.

Inside doesn’t feel much warmer than outside, but there’s no snow or wind.  Michael stomps his feet in an attempt to get all of the snow off his boots, but freezes as soon as he glances up.

Nestled amongst the armchairs, big windows, fireplace, piano, and little side tables that make up the front lounge, Calum Hood stares back at him like a deer in headlights.  He’s got a notebook and pencil in his hand and a textbook open in front of him, blanket wrapped around his shoulders in a way that Michael wishes he were.  He looks exactly the same as he did when Michael last saw him a few weeks ago, except he’s fully clothed this time.  He looks good.  He looks cozy.

He looks like Michael is the last person he wants to see.

Michael clears his throat.

“I didn’t know you were back on campus,” he says.

“I’m taking a j-term and thought it’d be easier to focus here,” Calum replies, lifting the notebook halfheartedly.  “It’s a prereq for my chem class this semester.  It turns out that switching majors put me a bit behind this time.”

Michael nods.  Calum started as a music education major, then switched to an elementary education major before realizing he didn’t want to deal with little kids.  Now he’s studying to be a high school science teacher, which means he has a few freshman science classes he needs to squeeze into his schedule.  He hadn’t said anything about a j-term to Michael when he registered, but they also haven’t exactly been communicating much since before finals.

“I didn’t expect anyone back yet,” Calum says eventually.

“I got permission to come back early so I can take a few more shifts.  Gotta pay for college somehow, you know…”

Michael trails off, unbalanced and uncomfortable.  It feels wrong to be reacting like this around Calum, just like it felt wrong to not hear from him during finals or break, but after a few more moments of uncomfortable silence and chewing his lip he hefts his bag higher on his shoulder and makes an excuse about wanting to get his room back to rights.  He feels Calum’s eyes on him as he leaves, the weight of his gaze lingering even after Michael has entered the stairwell, dug out his key, and entered his room.  When he takes off his jacket he immediately reaches for a blanket, wrapping himself up and trying to suppress the shivers threatening to erupt throughout his body.

He doesn’t remember the dorm being this cold when he left in December.  He doesn’t know how the space between him and Calum got that cold, either.

-/-

Once he has a bowl of instant ramen in front of him and his stuff more or less put away, Michael calls Luke.

“Good morning,” Luke answers, a leftover joke gone stale from when they were roommates with opposite sleep schedules.  It almost makes him wish for a simpler time when Luke was forcing him to go places like Welcome Week events and they were literally running into people like Calum and Luke was forcing them all to be friends even though Michael’s smoothie got spilled and Calum dropped his nachos.  Michael would take being newly flustered over a hot guy who got a strawberry drink all over his favorite sweatshirt rather than having Calum not fucking talk to him.

“Did you know that Calum’s doing a j-term?”

Luke sighs on the other end of the line.

“I’m doing fine, Michael, thank you for asking.  How are you?”

“I’m bad.  Calum is here and no one warned me.”

“If it makes you feel better, I didn’t tell him that you would be back early, either.”

“That much was obvious.”  Michael stirs his noodles, suddenly feeling like he doesn’t have the right appetite for this.  “He looked like me showing up was the worst thing in the world.”

“Don’t exaggerate.”

“I’m not,” he says.  “You should’ve seen him.  He hates me now, and I still don’t know what I did wrong.”

“He doesn’t hate you,” Luke says.  “He misses you, too.”

“If he misses me so much, he should respond to my texts.”

Luke hums on the other end of the line.

“You’re both in the same place now.  Maybe you can corner him in person.”

“I wouldn’t have to do that if someone would just tell me what happened.”

“What happened is that you two slept together and then Calum ghosted you,” Luke sighs.  “If you want his reasoning, you have to ask him.  I will not be a messenger pigeon for you two.”

“I feel like that metaphor works best only if he’s been asking about me, too,” Michael says.  Luke doesn’t respond right away, a drawn out pause that makes Michael look up from his noodles.  He wishes they were video chatting so he could see what sort of expression Luke is wearing. “Luke, has he asked about me?”

“I’m not doing this with you right now,” Luke says.

“You fucker, he has talked about me!  Do you know why he ghosted me?”

“Stop using me as a go-between!  If you want to know why Calum hasn’t replied to your messages, ask him yourself.  You both need to get your heads out of your asses and communicate.  I can’t believe I’m the one who has to say that.”

Silence descends and Michael pulls his phone away from his ear to see that Luke hung up on him.  Michael huffs.  A second later his phone lights up with an incoming call, a very unattractive picture of Luke staring at him from his screen.  He considers letting it ring out and go to voicemail, but in the end he decides to take the high ground and answer.

“What,” he says flatly.

“Sorry I hung up on you,” Luke says.  “I don’t like being caught between you both.”

“Yeah,” he sighs.  “I don’t like it, either.”

“Will you try to talk to him?  He’ll let you if it’s in person.”

“I guess.”

Luke hums.  They stay on the phone a little longer, small talk filling the silence so Michael doesn’t have to be alone while he eats, but he knows he’s being a bad conversation partner, too distracted by what Calum may or may not have been saying about him to Luke.  When they finally hang up Michael flops back on his bed and groans, wondering if he should just move to Antarctica and change his name rather than put himself through this.

-/-

He manages to go the rest of the night without any indication that Calum is there.  They miss each other in the bathroom, but every sound in the hallway has the hair on his arms standing on end, wondering if it could be Calum or just the settling of the near-empty building.  He sleeps fitfully, tossing and turning on the sub-par dorm mattress, cuddling deeper into his blanket in an attempt to find some much-needed warmth.

The last night he spent with Calum, and the first night they’d spent together in that way, Michael fell asleep warm.  It was almost too hot, sticky under the covers and burning wherever their skin touched, but he loved it.  He’d take the heat over the cold any day, and he hasn’t felt warm since he woke up alone, bed feeling too big without the other boy in it to act as his personal space heater.

That morning the sheets had still smelled like him, but they were cold.  He’d left long before Michael woke up.  Michael’s first morning back feels like a mirror of that day.  Right before he fully wakes up he catches himself reaching for Calum and coming up empty.  When he realizes what he had been doing, he forces himself to get up rather than stay in bed and wallow only because he can’t afford to be late to work on his first day back and he doesn’t trust the roads to be cleared yet.  The college is situated on the outskirts of town, an odd placement that puts a woodsy area to one side and only a few smaller shops next to it.  Michael hadn’t managed to land a job in one of those places, but the family-owned restaurant he works at pays enough to be worth the gas it takes to get there.  He throws on a hoodie and slippers and shuffles to the bathroom to brush his teeth.

Calum is already at one of the sinks when he enters.  Michael doesn’t let his eyes stray from his face, refusing to take in the tan shoulders and torso or the drops of water glistening against him, leading down to the towel wrapped around his hips.  He has a toothbrush in his mouth, foam gathering at the corners of his lips, lips that Michael has--

No.  He can’t think about this now.

“Morning,” he says, clearing his throat to get it to work properly.

“Morning,” Calum replies around his toothbrush, consonants muffled.  He spits into the sink and Michael makes himself focus on his own morning routine, meticulously putting toothpaste on his own brush and hoping it’s not obvious that even glancing at Calum is dangerous for him right now.

Neither of them try to say anything more, and Michael wonders if the silence is hanging as heavily in the air for Calum as it is for him.  Before break, silences between them were the only types of silences Michael could stand.  He’s fidgety by nature and gets uncomfortable without background noise, but Calum always managed to temper that a bit.  Being around him settles something inside, something that right now makes Michael want to scream.

He’s about to try to break the silence when Calum picks up his bathroom caddy and leaves without so much as a glance his way.  Michael tries not to let it bother him, but he misses the weight of his gaze.  Calum used to look at him fondly, filled with enough affection that Michael could feel it in his heart.  He doesn’t understand why that would have to change now.

By the time Michael goes to start his car for work, Calum has set himself up in the lounge again, laptop open in front of him.  He’s turned on the fireplace, something that Michael thinks they're not technically supposed to do but that he’s certainly not going to call him on, and he doesn’t look up when Michael comes down the stairs.  Michael lingers by the doorway longer than he should.

They’ve spent a lot of time in this room, whether doing homework on the couch, trying to play duets on the piano in the corner, or hogging the chess set by the window, figuring out how to play and passing the time.

The chess board is set up for a fresh game.  In a naive fit of hope Michael walks over to it and moves one of the pawns forward.  Calum doesn’t glance up from his computer, but he’s still in a way that means he knows what Michael is doing.

On his way out he thinks he hears someone say drive safe, but the howling of the wind is already filling his ears and he can’t be sure.

-/-

Michael gets sent home early because of the snow.  He fights it all the way there, pulling in late because he had to move so slow, and halfway through his shift the manager calls it, deciding to close up for the day.  Right after he clocks out Michael gets a notification on his phone for a severe blizzard alert, and he steels himself to face it before leaving behind the warmth of the restaurant.  Outside the world is covered in a thick sheet of white, plows not able to keep up with the large flakes still falling from the sky, and Michael wills his car to survive the drive, windshield wipers going furiously in an attempt to keep him seeing as much as he can.  The drive takes three times longer than usual, and when he finally spots his dorm through the snow it comes with a sigh of relief.

Calum is still in the lounge when he comes inside and stomps his feet to get some feeling back into them.  With the snow came a biting wind, and even after barely being outside he feels frozen.

“I was getting worried,” Calum says, startling him.  “It looks like it’s bad out there.”

“It is,” Michael says, taking off his hat and shaking snow off of it.  He squints at Calum, in a different position and bundled in a blanket now, the big blue one that Mali got him as a grad present.  Michael once again has to push away the urge to cuddle up to him.

“It’s fucking cold,” he says instead, because it’s true and if he doesn’t make small talk he’s going to blurt something embarrassing like I’ve been thinking about you all the time or why did you leave me or I love you I love you I love you I’m sorry please can we be friends again?

“Going to be a cold night for us, then,” Calum says.  “The heating’s been shit this break.  I don’t think they keep it up as high when there’s only one student here.”

“I’ve had a few cold nights,” Michael snorts before he thinks about it.  “I mean--I’ll use some extra blankets.”

Calum nods once.  He opens his mouth like he’s about to say something, then snaps it shut again, looking down at his computer.  It feels like a dismissal, like Michael isn’t worth his time anymore, and it stings.

He should go upstairs, anyway.  He needs to find some blankets of his own.  He glances over the piano and the fireplace, eyes landing on the chess game by the window.

Someone has moved a pawn on the other side.  He glances at Calum, then moves a knight, continuing the game.  He wants to ask Calum to sit down and play a proper round with him, but one glance at Calum’s posture has him biting his tongue.  He’s closed off, blanket wrapped around him securely and face tense, and Michael can’t bring himself to bother him, not when interacting with Michael seems to be the last thing he wants to do.

Michael looks back at the chess set, three pieces out of place, and heads to his room.

-/-

The night comes simultaneously fast and slow in the way that all boring winter nights do.  Michael sits in his room scrolling through social media while the sun sets around him, and when he does eventually get up it’s only so he can make more ramen to eat.  He had lunch at the restaurant and never did get to the grocery store, but he has a few snacks to munch on and if things get really bad he can always see if Calum has anything he’s willing to share.

Calum initiated conversation earlier, so things can’t be too bad between them, right?  It’s still terribly stiff and uncomfortable, but at least he’s not getting the silent treatment anymore.  At least Calum looked at him for a little bit.

He plays video games until he’s too bored to continue, then showers and crawls into bed.  It’s still cold, just like Calum said it would be, but they haven’t lost power yet.  Michael piles on the blankets and pillows, but his sheets are frigid, not yet warmed by his body heat and making him shiver.  After a few minutes of tossing and turning he considers boiling water just to have a warm mug to hold in his hands.

Maybe it’ll be better in the lounge with the fireplace on.  No one’s here to get mad at him for falling asleep on the couch, but then he’d have to haul all of his blankets down there, something that he doesn’t think he has the energy for right now.

He wishes Calum were here.  It feels like all he’s done since getting back to campus is think about Calum, his presence in the building affecting him more than it would have if he was fully alone, but in a pragmatic sense he also really wants a warm body next to him right now.  Two people under the covers are warmer than one, and he’s already put on socks and a hoodie.  Wrapping himself in Calum would keep him warm on a physical level, and maybe it’ll settle him enough that he’ll actually be able to sleep without having weird dreams or waking up every few hours.

He hasn’t even gotten close enough to touch him since getting here.  Before break, he and Calum were always handsy with each other, personal space a myth with the two of them.  It feels wrong to have seen him and not immediately gone in for a hug.

He flops onto his stomach, trying to get comfortable without disturbing the blankets too much, but sleep isn’t coming easy.  When a knock comes on his door, he’s immediately awake and alert.  He wonders if it was a piece of a dream instead, given that there’s only one other person in the building and late night visits did not seem to be an option on the table, but after a few moments someone knocks again.

The light of the hallway is bright after the dark of his room, making him squint at the silhouette of Calum standing before him, wrapped in a blanket like he always seems to be right now.  His hair is messy, no doubt from his own fitful attempt to sleep, and Michael wants to run his fingers through it and put it back to rights.

“Hi,” Michael says.

“I called maintenance about the heat,” Calum says.  “They said they’re having a bit of issue with it and will send someone out, but with the road conditions it could be a little while.  I think they forgot that there were people here.”

“Oh,” Michael says.  “Okay.”

He stares at Calum again, cataloguing how tightly he’s wrapped up and the way he’s chewing on his lips.  Michael waits for him to say what he really came here to.

“It’s really fucking cold, Michael,” Calum blurts finally, a little desperate.

“I know,” Michael says, not sure how to tell Calum that he’d set the world on fire for him if it would help.

“It’d be warmer if we were together.  Like, scientifically speaking.  If we cuddled, it would warm us up a bit.”

“Well, you are the scientist in this duo.  You would know.”  Calum finally meets his eyes, looking up through his eyelashes a little in a way that’s completely unfair.  He’s already got Michael wrapped around his finger, heart skipping a beat at the simple occasion of having his attention again.

He has it so bad that it’s pathetic.

“Is that all?” Michael asks, trying to scrape together some of his dignity.  Calum has been ghosting him for weeks, and a conversation about the bad heating isn’t exactly what Michael wanted from a real conversation with him.  He’s too tired for small talk and much too cold to be standing here when he could be under the covers.

“You’re shivering,” Calum says.  Michael hadn’t noticed the small tremors, but now that Calum pointed them out he can’t ignore them.

“Come on, Mikey,” Calum says, stepping closer.  Michael wants to lean into him and the warmth he promises.  “I promise it’ll be warmer if we cuddle.”

“Do you want to come in?” he asks.  Calum nods, so he steps aside.

Having Calum in his room again when the last time included one of the best and most overwhelming experiences of Michael’s life is weird, to say the least.  It’s like Michael can see two versions of him: the current Calum, wrapped in a blanket and closed off in every conceivable way, and the Calum from that night, laughing at all of Michael’s jokes and spouting off facts about gravity to explain how they kept getting closer and closer.

“See, everything with mass exerts gravity on everything else, except typically it’s not enough to be noticeable compared to the gravity of the Earth.  Your gravitational field must be really strong today.”

“Are you calling me fat?”

“No, Michael, you idiot.  Stop misinterpreting what I’m saying!”

Calum surveys the room, the safety light reflecting off the snow outside just enough to give him silhouettes to work with.  Michael wonders what he’s remembering.

“How do you want to do this?” Michael asks when the silence has stretched on for too long.  Calum shrugs, so Michael climbs up onto his bed, sliding under the covers and leaving a corner flipped up in invitation.  Calum hesitates, and for a moment Michael thinks he’s going to turn tail and run, but he throws his blanket on top of the covers and joins.  The bed is too small to avoid some awkward elbows and involuntary brushes of clothing, barely big enough for one person, let alone two.  Michael holds his breath while Calum gets somewhat settled, pressed against the wall to give him as much room as possible.

“It’ll be warmer if we’re touching,” Calum whispers, words hitting Michael like a shout with the close proximity and otherwise silence of the room.  If the lights were on, Michael would probably be able to count his eyelashes, but now his face is a combination of different shadows.

“How do you…” Michael trails off.  Calum reaches out first, a cold hand wrapping around his own and pulling him closer.  They end up with Calum on his back and Michael’s head on his shoulder, legs tangled together.  Michael’s sure that Calum can hear how loud his heart is beating, but he can feel Calum’s own beating in a similar pattern so he can’t be too upset about it.  He can hear every inhale and rustle of clothing, can feel the soft cotton of Calum’s shirt against his cheek and smell the faint remains of his soap.

He’s warm.  It’s not the burning heat from their last night together, but it’s almost worse with the gradual way that Michael can feel himself unthaw in his presence, slow enough that he could forget it’s happening only to wake up as an irreparable puddle.

“Okay?” Michael asks, sending flashbacks to the last few times he had asked that question and Calum’s answers: always positive, whether a verbal yes or a nod or a fierce kiss and wandering hands.

“Yeah,” Calum says.  Michael swallows.

Calum starts tracing a design on his back with his finger, barely-felt with Michael still bundled up.  Michael wills himself to stay in the moment rather than slipping into the past or wishing for a different future.

It’s not bad like this.  He gets Calum close at least, receiving that little piece of contact from him that he’s been craving.  If this is the last time they’re like this, he wants to enjoy it if he can.

He shifts, Calum freezing under him for a moment until they both exhale and relax a little more.

Michael closes his eyes and wills himself to sleep.

“Michael?” Calum whispers after a few minutes.  For a moment he considers not answering, sure that anything Calum might think to say in the dark of the night will be something he doesn’t want to hear, but all he’s been asking for the past few weeks is his attention, and it seems vindictive to reject it now.

“Yeah?”

“I’m sorry.”

Michael should ask for clarification on what, exactly, Calum is apologizing about.  He’s opened the door to this conversation, and Michael should take the opportunity to finally walk through and get their wires straightened out, but he can’t bring himself to do any of that, not like this.  Not when Michael is breathing him in and stealing his warmth and there’s absolutely nothing between them to act as a buffer.

In the dark cuddled up together, Michael can keep pretending that Calum isn’t about to crush him.  As long as he doesn’t ask for clarification, it’s like Schrodinger’s heartbreak: Michael can be both loved and lonely at the same time.

“Can we talk about it tomorrow?” he asks.  “We need to talk about it, but I’m tired.  And cold.  Not tonight.”

“Okay,” Calum says.  Michael waits to see if there’s anything else, but Calum just resumes tracing his secret design on Michael’s back.

Michael closes his eyes and hopes they don’t freeze to death in the night, twin skeletons found tangled together by some unsuspecting third party when the thaw comes.  He’s not sure when he falls asleep and begins to dream, but in his mind Calum presses a kiss to his hair and Michael tries not to let such a simple action break him.

-/-

When he wakes up the bed is cold and empty again.  It shouldn’t be surprising, certainly not after last time.  There was less expectation to stay here, but everything is ugly in the cold light, shattering the fragile balance of the night before.  Michael feels a pit in his stomach, but also a hot flare of anger.

Calum is the one who came begging for his company yesterday after completely ignoring him for weeks.  Calum is the one who left without a trace after Michael showed him he loves him the best way he knows how.  Calum is the one who keeps running away from this, but Michael is the one who keeps getting hurt and that’s not fair.

It’s a little warmer in the building now, the heaters likely getting sorted while they were sleeping, but Michael still grabs a blanket.  No one answers Calum’s door and the bathroom seems to be empty.  He heads downstairs to see if he has set himself up in the lounge again and knows he’s on the right track when he starts to hear piano music drifting softly towards him the more he descends the stairs.

Calum is one of the only people who ever uses the grand piano in the lounge.  It’s slightly out of tune, just enough for Michael himself to notice but for Calum to complain about a lot.  Michael has spent a lot of later nights in the lounge listening to him play, whether he was practicing back when he used to be a music major and take lessons or just playing for fun.  Calum curses a lot when he practices, but Michael has also caught him with his eyes closed and a content smile on his face, letting the music take him away.  Watching him like that, Michael sometimes wonders why Calum switched from music to science, but the rarity of the moments makes them all the more special.

He’s playing a piece that he’s been working on for a while.  Michael tries not to disturb him, walking slowly towards the chess set where another piece has been moved in a continuation of the game.  Calum must have pulled the curtains by the windows up, deep drifts of snow piled against them and sunlight reflecting off the white to set the entire room aglow.  In this setting and with this soundtrack, the morning feels less frosty.

The last note hangs suspended in the air and Michael holds his breath until it dissipates.  Calum sighs, breaking his posture to slump down, and turns to face Michael.

“You’ve gotten better at that one,” Michael says.

“Easier to practice when I don’t have to go to the music hall and no one’s here to use the piano.”

Michael studies him, taking in his rumpled appearance.  He doesn’t look like he’s been up that long, still in the same pants he went to bed in and already folding the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands to keep them warm.

The sweatshirt he’s wearing is one of Michael’s.  His heart flip-flops.

“Did you want to talk now?” Calum asks.

“Yeah,” Michael sighs.  Calum nods once.  He scoots over on the piano bench, making room, and Michael gingerly sits next to him.  After a moment’s hesitation, he offers part of his blanket, nearly sighing in relief when Calum accepts it.

“I’m sorry for how I left, and for not replying to any of your messages,” Calum begins.  “That was a jerk move.”

“It was,” Michael says.  “You’re my best friend, Calum.  If I had known that’s how you’d react, I wouldn’t have--”  He stops, because he doesn’t want to say he regrets sleeping with Calum unless he has to.  It would be a lie.  He’d rather have Calum as a friend than nothing, but the will-we-won’t-we would’ve killed him eventually, and the night itself was amazing right up until Calum left.

“I don’t want to jeopardize that,” he says instead.  “You mean a lot to me.”

Calum presses his lips together.

“Why did you leave?” Michael asks.  “I thought we were on the same page.  I mean… you wanted it, right?  You said you did.  I thought you did.  I didn’t--”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Calum interrupts.  “I did want it.  I really wanted it.  Too much, probably.”

“What does that mean?”

Calum sighs, looking down at his lap and fidgeting with his sleeves again.  Michael wants to know why he’s so nervous.  He wants to grab his hands and hold him steady the way that Calum does for him when he’s freaking out, but that wouldn’t be welcome right now.

“Michael, I can’t do something casual with you.  You’ve said before that you’re not looking for anything serious, but I can’t be friends with benefits, not with you.  Not when I’m in love with you.  It’d tear me apart.”

“What made you think I wanted something casual?” Michael asks.  “Apparently you couldn’t tell, but that night was kind of a big deal for me.  I’m not exactly known for sleeping around.”

“Michael--”

“I’ve been crushing on you since we met, okay?” Michael says, turning to face him more fully.  “I wasn’t looking for something serious with anyone else because I’ve been hung up on you.  That night was one of the best nights of my life, and then you weren’t there in the morning.  I thought I had fucked up.  I thought I had ruined one of the most important relationships in my life.”

“You didn’t,” Calum says, grabbing his hand.  “I should have talked to you instead of running away.  That’s on me.”

“Yeah it is,” Michael sulks.  “Why didn’t you?  Why’d you just assume what I wanted instead of bothering to ask me?  That hurt, Cal.”

“I know.”  Calum grimaces, then shrugs.  “I don’t know.  I thought I knew what you wanted.  Or didn’t want, I guess.  I didn’t consider that you could like me until you kissed me, and you’ve never shown interest in an actual relationship.  I wasn’t ready for you to reject me.”

“But I wasn’t going to,” Michael says.  “You’re you.  You’re the exception.”

“I didn’t know that, though.  We didn’t exactly sit down for a conversation.  Our mouths were otherwise occupied that night, if I remember correctly.”  Michael opens his mouth to protest, then snaps it shut.

He doesn’t remember exactly what he said in the heat of it, but he remembers biting back I love you, knowing it was too early to be throwing that phrase around, no matter how true it was.  Maybe he ended up hiding the sentiment a bit more than he anticipated.

“You still should’ve talked to me,” he says.

“I know,” Calum replies, squeezing his hand.  “I’m sorry.  I’ll do better with that.”

Michael squeezes his hand back.

“So,” he says, “you like me?”

“Yeah,” Calum says.  “A lot.”

“You got that I like you, too, right?  I said that.  I’ve had it bad for you since we met.”  Calum frowns.

“You took a while to warm up to me.  I thought you were still holding a grudge because I spilled your smoothie.”

“No, you had me tongue-tied,” Michael says.  “I had to figure out how to function around you.  You’re really hot and it made me flustered.”

“Shut up,” Calum says.  He’s blushing, crimson staining his cheeks enough for Michael to see, sending a strong thrill of satisfaction through him.

“I’m serious,” he needles.  “You’re ridiculously attractive, dude.  You’re not going to hear the end of it from me now.  I’ve said it once and now there’s nothing to stop me from saying it five times a day.”

Calum laughs and tucks his face into Michael’s shoulder.  Michael feels his own happiness bubble up inside him, threatening to burst.  He brings Calum’s hand up to his lips and kisses the back of it in an attempt to release some of the pressure.

“Are we boyfriends now?” Calum asks.

“Fuck yeah,” Michael says.  “Unless you don’t want to be, but that’d be lame.”

“I want to be,” Calum says quickly.

“Good,” Michael says.  “Then we are.”

“Good.”

They sit for a while, and this silence feels comfortable again, like their old ones.  Michal could stay suspended in this moment like the final note of Calum’s piano song and feel content with it rather than uncomfortable.  That more than anything lets him know they’ll be okay.

“I’m cold,” Calum says eventually.

“We should move by the fire.”

“We should eat breakfast,” Calum counters.  Michael hums and gives Calum’s neck an exaggerated sniff, making him squirm and giggle again.

“You should shower,” he says.

“Fuck you.  That’s rude.”

“I could join you?” Michael offers.

“These showers are not big enough for two people,” Calum says.  “Nice try, though.”

He stands and kisses Michael on the forehead, tucking the blanket back around him.

“Can I kiss you properly?” Michael asks.  Calum nods and leans down again, the gentle press of his lips both familiar and thrilling, sweeter in the morning light.

“Breakfast, then I’m going to shower alone, then I think we have a chess game to finish.”

“Or we could make out all day while we have the lounge to ourselves.”  Calum considers him, tilting his head and giving a wry smile.

“We can do that if you win the chess match.”

“Deal,” Michael says.  It’s an easy bargain, because Michael is better at chess than Calum is, and with that prize on the line nothing’s going to distract him.

“Breakfast,” Calum repeats, tugging on his hands until he’s standing, too.  Michael leans forward and kisses him again, just because he can now.  Calum beams and leads him to the stairs, Michael tripping over his blanket and Calum’s laugh filling the room.

It could just be the heating kicking in more, but Michael isn’t sure he needs the blanket right now, not when Calum is here warming him from the inside out.

[hoeplesswriter]

Easier [LRH] — 3.0

Waking up in the morning was one of the best things Luke liked. Especially when he's about to snatch the multi-million dollar merger. He was suddenly awaken by a sound of a cry. Not just any cry, it was coming from a baby. Puzzled he tried to get some sleep, when suddenly.

" Luke, it's your turn for Robbie. " a voice of a woman whispered to his ear.

He opened his eyes in surprise, and jolted up only to find himself in a bedroom. Not just any bedroom but it's a mess, beside him was a woman. Unknown, then suddenly a little girl came rushing inside the messy bedroom, wide eyed Luke stood up and took anything he thinks is his.

" Daddy ! It's christmas ! It's Christmas ! Robbie made a weewee ! " The little girl stood up in the queen size bed, and started jumping waking up the woman hidden on the sheets.

" Luke ! Take Robbie's diapers ! Cecilia stop jumping ! " the woman shouted as the little girl giggled.

Luke had his heart beats loudly on his chest. ' What the fuck is going on ?! ' he asked himself before he pulled on his hair, and wore the pajamas and the shirt.

" Daddy ! Where are you going ? " the little girl asked as he ran down the stairs, she looked at him curiously, he returned a nervous smile as he wore some shoes.

" Fuck it's 7 ! " he hissed under his breathe as he went pass by the kitchen. He frantically made a dash to the front door when he was greeted by an elderly couple.

" Luke Happy Christmas— christ where are you off to ? " He recognized the faces of the couple but decided against it, he saw a couple of keys hanged by the door then took it.

He saw one family van parked, looking at the symbol it was the keys he took. Apologising to the owner in his mind, he opened the car door and hopped in. He saw the woman he was in bed with by the front door, his breathe hitched it can't be. A confused look was evident on her face before he stepped on the pedal and drove away.

He was puzzled and scared, he was in New Jersey. The snowy roads were cleared up, it was 8 in the morning when he finally arrived at the building, parking at the front he dashed towards the door.

" Woa— woah wait up man ! We're closed. " The guard, Marty was his name said as Luke tried to punch in the elevator.

The building was desserted as expected, and only Marty who was the guard on the lobby. Luke sighed and breathe heavily before he composed himself.

" I— Am I late ? Did they left ? " he asked walking towards Marty who scanned him up and down which annoyed him.

" Man, are you okay ? Who left ? What are you talking about ? " Marty scratched the side of his head as Luke stared at him unbelievingly.

" Man ? Marty don't shit me, it's me Luke ! Croix most trusting executive ! " he raised his voice a little, making Marty raise his eyebrow.

" Mr. Croix doesn't have an executive, because he's an executive himself. " he said a matter of factly.

Luke looked at him annoyed, he laughed sarcastically. Was it how Croix wanna played it ? He thought about the joke they once pulled up for him.

" Very funny Marty, my name is on top of that list ! " he then pointed at the directory, which surprised him.

Luke almost throw up when he walked towards the directory and he looked at the list, his name wasn't there. Even Clifford's or the other executives. And his boss was still just an executive of his retired boss. He had his hands on his hair, pulling at it in frustration.

" Stop making fun of me ! It's not Funny Arthur if this is how you pull Christmas spirit on me ! " he shouted at the lobby, Marty suddenly took his arm and before he even knew what was going on, he was thrown out of the building.

He laid on top of the snow, as he stared up at Marty who shook his head at annoyance before he locked the doors. Luke got up quickly, not bothering the melting snow on his pajamas and shirt.

" Marty ! I'm Luke Hemmings ! An executive of this building ! Let me in ! " he shouted as he knocked on the door.