#Clean Development Mechanism
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nepalenergyforum Ā· 2 years ago
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Carbon Trade: Rules Obstacle
Initiated by Sustainable Prosperity Initiative Nepal (SPI-Nepal), a meeting of different stake holders agreed to establish an Association of institutions engaged in the voluntary carbon trade Environment and Forest Rules have thwarted stakeholdersā€™ attempts to enter the market, despite the significant interest they have demonstrated in participating in the voluntary carbon exchange. Except forā€¦
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tastycitrus Ā· 10 months ago
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was anyone going to tell me there was a postgame for ranking up to tamer legend where you fight against julia and glare from dawn/dusk or was i just supposed to find out a year after i beat the main game from someone else's screenshot and suffer through a whole lot of grinding and farm quests to get there
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femenaces Ā· 5 days ago
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I cannot stress enough to you that all American government agencies are falling apart at the seams right now and they will not be put back together for the foreseeable future. EPA DHS ED VA FDA NIH IRS CDC HHS NPS etc... Elon Musk is dismantling everything. Anyone who resigns or is laid off now, the word we (I am an agency employee) are receiving internally is that their position will be abolished, not backfilled.
Do you like eating clean, safe food?
Do you like having clean, safe air and water?
Do you want experts monitoring developing infectious diseases?
Do you like getting tax returns?
Do you want your children to have free, quality, public education?
If so, you need to write to your senators and representatives RIGHT NOW. Trump is not obeying the rule of law. He is illegally firing all the inspectors general of these agencies (they are literally being escorted by security out of their offices) so that there is no one left to stop him from doing quite literally anything he wants. He has bypassed the internal structure of all of the agencies by plugging in external email servers to push typo-filled emails and memos written by employees of the heritage foundation directly into the inbox of every federal agency employee in the country, threatening to terminate them.
The rule of law is dead. The only mechanism left to stop any of this is mass public outcry via convincing your state's congressmen & women to do something, because right now they are staying absolutely silent and none of us in these agencies can figure out why. A massacre is happening right now and every single American will feel the material, concrete consequences of this in their daily lives very soon if nothing is done.
Please help me boost this information.
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mirnaheadlines Ā· 3 months ago
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Government Policies for a Green Economy: Incentives and Regulations
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Green Economy A successful transition to a green economy requires a combination of public and private sector efforts, Green Economy with governments playing a crucial role in setting the framework for this transformation. Policies often target sectors such as energy, transportation, agriculture, waste management, and construction, which are significant contributors to environmental impacts. In this context, incentives and regulations serve as two sides of the policy coin, ensuring both the encouragement of sustainable practices and the enforcement of environmental protection.
One of the main goals of government policies for a green economy is to shift economic activity toward more sustainable practices. This involves reducing greenhouse gas emissions, promoting renewable energy, and ensuring that economic growth is decoupled from environmental degradation. To achieve these goals, governments employ a wide range of tools, including tax breaks, subsidies, grants, carbon pricing mechanisms, and strict environmental regulations.
A green economy also emphasizes social inclusiveness, Green Economy ensuring that the transition to sustainability benefits all members of society, particularly vulnerable groups who are most affected by environmental degradation. Green Economy Government policies often include provisions for job creation in green industries, education and training for new skills, and social protection measures to ensure that no one is left behind in the transition.
This section will delve into six key areas of government policies for a green economy: renewable energy incentives, carbon pricing mechanisms, green transportation policies, sustainable agriculture support, waste management and recycling regulations, and financial incentives for green innovation.
Renewable Energy Incentives Green Economy
One of the cornerstones of any green economy policy framework is the promotion of renewable energy sources. Governments have introduced a range of incentives to encourage the production and consumption of renewable energy, such as wind, solar, and hydropower. These incentives are critical for reducing reliance on fossil fuels, which are the primary source of greenhouse gas emissions.
Renewable energy incentives often take the form of subsidies and tax breaks. For instance, many governments offer production tax credits (PTCs) and investment tax credits (ITCs) to companies that generate renewable energy or invest in renewable energy infrastructure. These financial incentives lower the cost of renewable energy projects, making them more competitive with traditional fossil fuel-based energy sources.
Feed-in tariffs (FITs) are another common incentive mechanism. Green Economy Under a FIT program, renewable energy producers are guaranteed a fixed price for the electricity they generate, often over a long-term contract. This provides a stable revenue stream and reduces the financial risk associated with renewable energy investments. Net metering programs, which allow individuals and businesses to sell excess renewable energy back to the grid, are another way governments encourage the adoption of renewable technologies.
Governments also support renewable energy through research and development (R&D) funding. Green Economy By investing in the development of new technologies, governments can help bring down the cost of renewable energy and make it more accessible. Many governments also provide grants and low-interest loans for renewable energy projects, particularly for smaller-scale projects such as rooftop solar installations.
In addition to financial incentives, governments often mandate the use of renewable energy through renewable portfolio standards (RPS). An RPS requires utilities to obtain a certain percentage of their electricity from renewable sources, creating a guaranteed market for renewable energy. This not only supports the growth of the renewable energy industry but also helps reduce the overall carbon footprint of the energy sector.
Green Economy The combination of financial incentives and regulatory mandates has been instrumental in driving the rapid growth of renewable energy in many parts of the world. Countries such as Germany, Denmark, and China have become global leaders in renewable energy production, thanks in large part to strong government policies that promote green energy development.
Carbon Pricing Mechanisms
Carbon pricing is a critical tool inĀ the fight against climate changeĀ and a key component of government policies for a green economy. By putting a price on carbon emissions, governments create an economic incentive for businesses and individuals to reduce their carbon footprint. There are two main types of carbon pricing mechanisms: carbon taxes and cap-and-trade systems.
A carbon tax directly sets a price on carbon by levying a tax on the carbon content of fossil fuels. This encourages businesses and consumers to reduce their use of carbon-intensive energy sources and shift toward cleaner alternatives. The revenue generated from carbon taxes is often used to fund green initiatives, such as renewable energy projects or energy efficiency programs, or to provide rebates to low-income households to offset higher energy costs.
Cap-and-trade systems, also known as emissions trading schemes (ETS), work by setting a limit (or cap) on the total amount of greenhouse gas emissions that can be emitted by covered entities, such as power plants or industrial facilities. Companies are issued emission allowances, which they can trade with one another. Companies that can reduce their emissions at a lower cost can sell their excess allowances to companies that face higher costs for reducing emissions. This creates a market for carbon allowances and incentivizes businesses to invest in cleaner technologies.
Both carbon taxes and cap-and-trade systems are designed to internalize the environmental cost of carbon emissions, making it more expensive to pollute and more profitable to invest in sustainable practices. These mechanisms can drive innovation, as businesses seek out new technologies and processes to reduce their carbon liabilities.
Several countries and regions have implemented carbon pricing policies with varying degrees of success. The European Unionā€™s Emissions Trading System (EU ETS) is one of the largest and most established cap-and-trade programs in the world. Canada has implemented a nationwide carbon tax, with revenue returned to households through rebates. In the United States, some states, such as California, have implemented their own cap-and-trade programs in the absence of a national carbon pricing policy.
However, carbon pricing mechanisms face challenges, including political opposition and concerns about economic competitiveness. In some cases, businesses argue that carbon pricing increases costs and puts them at a disadvantage compared to competitors in countries without similar policies. To address these concerns, governments often include provisions to protect industries that are vulnerable to international competition, such as offering rebates or exemptions for certain sectors.
Green Transportation Policies
Transportation is a major source of greenhouse gas emissions, particularly in urban areas. To promote a green economy, governments are implementing a range of policies aimed at reducing emissions from the transportation sector. These policies focus on promoting the use of public transportation, encouraging the adoption of electric vehicles (EVs), and improving fuel efficiency standards.
One of the most effective ways to reduce transportation emissions is to encourage the use of public transportation. Governments invest in expanding and improving public transit systems, such as buses, trains, and subways, to make them more accessible and attractive to commuters. By providing reliable and affordable public transportation options, governments can reduce the number of cars on the road and lower overall emissions.
In addition to improving public transportation, governments are offering incentives for the purchase of electric vehicles (EVs). These incentives often take the form of tax credits or rebates for EV buyers, which help offset the higher upfront cost of electric vehicles compared to traditional gasoline-powered cars. Some governments also offer additional perks for EV owners, such as access to carpool lanes or free parking in city centers.
Governments are also investing in the infrastructure needed to support electric vehicles, such as building charging stations. A lack of charging infrastructure is often cited as a barrier to EV adoption, so governments play a critical role in addressing this challenge. By providing grants or partnering with private companies, governments can help build a network of charging stations that makes EVs a more convenient option for drivers.
Another important component of green transportation policies is improving fuel efficiency standards for cars and trucks. Governments set regulations that require automakers to produce vehicles that meet certain fuel efficiency targets, which helps reduce the amount of fuel consumed and the emissions produced by the transportation sector. Some governments also implement vehicle emissions standards, which limit the amount of pollutants that cars and trucks can emit.
In addition to these policies, governments are encouraging the use of alternative modes of transportation, such as biking and walking. Investments in bike lanes, pedestrian infrastructure, and bike-sharing programs make it easier for people to choose low-emission forms of transportation. These efforts not only reduce emissions but also improve public health by promoting physical activity.
Sustainable Agriculture Support
Agriculture is both a contributor to and a victim of environmental degradation. It is responsible for significant greenhouse gas emissions, deforestation, water use, and pollution from fertilizers and pesticides. At the same time, agriculture is highly vulnerable to the impacts of climate change, including more frequent droughts, floods, and changing weather patterns. As a result, governments are increasingly focusing on promoting sustainable agricultural practices as part of their green economy policies.
One of the key ways governments support sustainable agriculture is through financial incentives for farmers who adopt environmentally friendly practices. These incentives can take the form of subsidies, grants, or low-interest loans for practices such as organic farming, agroforestry, and conservation tillage. By providing financial support, governments encourage farmers to invest in sustainable practices that might otherwise be cost-prohibitive.
Governments also provide technical assistance and education to help farmers transition to more sustainable practices. This can include training programs on topics such as water conservation, soil health, and pest management, as well as access to research and technology that supports sustainable farming. Extension services, which provide hands-on assistance to farmers, are another important tool for promoting sustainable agriculture.
In addition to financial and technical support, governments implement regulations to reduce the environmental impact of agriculture. These regulations can include restrictions on the use of certain pesticides and fertilizers, requirements for buffer zones to protect water sources from agricultural runoff, and mandates for the reduction of greenhouse gas emissions from livestock and manure management.
Governments are also working to promote more sustainable food systems by encouraging the consumption of locally produced and organic foods. Public procurement policies, which require government institutions such as schools and hospitals to purchase a certain percentage of their food from sustainable sources, are one way governments support the development of local, sustainable food systems.
Another important aspect of sustainable agriculture policies is protecting biodiversity and promoting ecosystem services. Governments often provide incentives for farmers to preserve natural habitats on their land, such as wetlands, forests, and grasslands, which provide important ecosystem services such as carbon sequestration, water filtration, and pollination. By promoting biodiversity and ecosystem health, governments help ensure that agricultural systems are more resilient to environmental changes.
Waste Management and Recycling Regulations
Effective waste management is a critical component of a green economy. Governments play a key role in regulating waste disposal, promoting recycling, and encouraging the reduction of waste generation. These efforts are aimed at reducing the environmental impact of waste, including greenhouse gas emissions from landfills, pollution from improper disposal, and the depletion of natural resources through excessive consumption.
One of the main ways governments regulate waste is by setting standards for waste disposal. This includes regulating landfills, incinerators, and hazardous waste facilities to ensure that they operate in an environmentally responsible manner. Governments also implement bans or restrictions on certain types of waste, such as single-use plastics, to reduce the amount of waste that ends up in landfills or the environment.
In addition to regulating waste disposal, governments are increasingly focusing on promoting recycling and waste reduction. Many governments have implemented extended producer responsibility (EPR) programs, which require manufacturers to take responsibility for the disposal of the products they produce. This can include requirements for companies to fund recycling programs or take back products at the end of their life cycle.
Governments also implement policies to encourage households and businesses to recycle more. This can include providing curbside recycling services, setting recycling targets, and offering incentives for recycling, such as deposit return schemes for beverage containers. Public awareness campaigns and education programs are also important tools for promoting recycling and waste reduction.
In some cases, governments use economic instruments to promote waste reduction, such as charging fees for waste disposal or providing financial incentives for businesses that reduce waste. Pay-as-you-throw programs, which charge households based on the amount of waste they generate, are one example of how governments use pricing mechanisms to encourage waste reduction.
Another important component of waste management policies is promoting the circular economy, which focuses on keeping materials in use for as long as possible through recycling, reusing, and remanufacturing. Governments support the circular economy by providing incentives for businesses that adopt circular practices, such as designing products for durability and recyclability, and by setting targets for reducing waste and increasing recycling rates.
Source :
Government Policies for a Green Economy: Incentives and Regulations
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fictionalsweethearts Ā· 1 month ago
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THE COMMISSION PT. 2 | SEVIKA X READER | ARCANE
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'The Commission' series: pt. 1, pt. 2, pt. 3, pt.4, epilogue.
Synopsis: You've been her personal mechanic for two years, but your growing reputation in the field has earned you dozens of clients and commissions. Sevika was looking for something fresh, durable and of good quality, and when it came to her sexual appetite, she only accepted the best. So she turned to you for a special commission.
Contains: arcane!sevika, feminine reader, lesbians, lots of dialogues, arcane universe, cannon sevika, mechanic!reader, wlw, slow burn baby šŸ’‹, several parts btw
Word count: 2,330
Note: English is not my first language, so I apologize in advance for any mistake in my writing. Enjoy!
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Sevika trusted your good work but your integrity mattered to her as well. The intimidating facade, her bearing and her gaze made her look lethal, but the truth was that Sevika protected the people she cared about and was extremely loyal. After years working for Silco and cleaning up Jinx's messes, Sevika had developed a special fondness for you and your good humor, as well as your eyes and your easy smile. She wanted to protect you for this commission as well.
A couple of days after the meeting, you were outside The Last Drop, waiting for Sevika while smoking a cigarette. "What did I get myself into." you whispered, exhaling before stepping on the butt with your heel, watching the woman approach from the distance. Next to her was one of her lackeys and another man you didn't know, a tall, dark-haired man with slanted eyes, veiny hands and good-looking, presumably a worker at the House of Pleasure. The candidate.
She gestured for the man next to her to approach and spoke up. "I want you to meet my friend, Silas." Sevika said, her voice a little gruff. "He's here to... provide for your mold-taking."
Gosh, this so embarrassing you thought, giving Silas a nod. "Nice to meet you, I assume Sevika explained you the uh... reason you're here."
Silas nodded, still smirking. "She did." He replied, his eyes roaming over you. "And it's a pleasure, lovely."
"Huh, sure." you mumbled, as Sevika made her way into the Last Drop, towards her personal room. The place was set up. Sevika took care of your requests and had a powerful spotlight installed in the center of the room, next to a backless chair and a work table, where the materials to make the mold were spread out and ready to be used. Sevika sat on the couch, lighting a cigarette while Silas undressed from the waist down. You focused on preparing the mixture, ignoring the blush on your cheeks at the rather peculiar and embarrassing situation you found yourself in.
"Robin asked about you." Silas said to Sevika. "You haven't visited her in a while..."
"Yeah, I've been busy." She replied gruffly. "With... business and such."
"You sure you haven't found another girl?" asked Silas. "It's quite odd to not see you around the brothel."
"I've been..." She paused, her gaze shifting briefly between you and the supplies on the table. "...busy. I don't have time for that right now." The truth was that, recently, her visits to the brothels of Zaun had decreased. The reason was sitting not ten feet away from her.
You gulped. "Please stand in front of the spotlight, legs apart." you said somewhat shyly, to which Silas complied with a rather pleasant and welcomed confidence. He certainly wasn't embarrassed, but you were. "Oh, I'm sorry to be so blunt but... you must be..."
"Hard?" Silas asked, to which you nodded.
Sevika chuckled, watching the interaction. She was amused by your attempts to be professional, trying your best to handle this with grace despite your embarrassment. "Don't apologize." He said, a hint of amusement in his voice. "It's a reasonable request."
You looked at Sevika with pink cheeks, before she turned to Silas in a non-serious tone. "Do you need magazines or something for the imagination, Silas?" she asked.
Silas chuckled, his eyes moving between Sevika and you. "No, I think I'll be alright." he said "But I wouldn't mind a little assistance..." He added, his eyes slowly roving over you, a smirk on his face.
Sevika's gaze was firm as she looked up at Silas, her voice cold. "Hands off, or I'll cut them off."
Sevika handed him the pills and a bottle of water. It only took a couple of minutes for Silas to be rock hard after taking them. Not that you found him appealing, but the manā€™s sexual aura stirred something inside you. However, you were here to work and Sevika would certainly disapprove of anyone putting their hands on you or you putting your hands on someone else. Sevika watched the whole process, focusing on the gentleness of your hands, the way you immersed the candidate's phallus in a container with the hypoallergenic plaster and the shy smile that were drawn on your lips while you took the time for it to harden. She thought about the privilege Silas was receiving, to have your complete and undivided attention on his body and to be touched by such angelic hands. Sevika grunted, pouring herself a whiskey.
"And... done." you said after the time passed. You removed the now hardened mold, satisfied with the result. You carefully placed it on the table, while Silas got dressed.
"I know I have a good cock, but I never thought I was worthy of being turned into a mold," the man joked.
Sevika chuckled, taking another puff of her cigarette. "Don't flatter yourself, sweetcheeks. We just needed someone qualified."
"Whatever you say, boss." He replied, his gaze shifting to you. "How long will it take for the final product?"
"Four to six days," you replied. "The material I'll be using is quite sensitive and capricious, plus incorporating the Shimmer system will take a couple of failed experiments," you explained, to which Silas laughed.
"Shimmer?" he asked, looking at Sevika. "You're planning on making a fucking Shimmer strap?"
Sevika leaned back, her expression cool. "Problem?"
"No, no problem. I'm just... curious. You never fail to surprise me, you know that?"
Silas gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm leaving now. Good luck with your little toy," Silas said, giving you a warm smile. You were focused on the mold when you and Sevika ended up alone in the room.
"You handled that well." She commented, her voice low and gruff.
"You think so?"
"Yeah, I do." She replied, exhaling a plume of smoke. "You managed to keep your focus and didn't let that hothead get to you."
ā€œI know my job and what itā€™s worth,ā€ you assured as you poured the second mixture into the cast to make the mold youā€™d be working with later. You were tired, however, this time of year people usually got their prosthetics renewed and everyone turned to you to do it. Youā€™ve been using Shimmer again to keep the workflow going and it was starting to show.
Her sharp eye was trained to pick up on even the smallest details, and it was clear that you were exhausted. "When was the last time you slept a full night?
"Does it matter?" you inquired, focused on your work
"Of course it matters." She replied, her voice firm. "If you're exhausted, it will affect your work. I need you to be sharp, to be able to keep up."
"When's the last time you slept, really?"
"Mhm... two days ago?" you said, not sure. The truth is that Shimmer affected your perception of time and hunger, it was as effective as cocaine but more accessible, since it was Sevika who provided you with doses at a good price. However, she was regretting having done it, seeing you in this state.
"Are you kidding me? How many boosters have you taken in that time?"
"Don't remember." you shrugged. "I'm overflowed."
Sevika's jaw tensed as she watched your tired, sluggish state. The realization of what you'd been doing to yourself hit her like a ton of bricks. She put the cigarette away, standing up. "You're not going home. You're staying here." She said firmly, her voice leaving no room for argument. "I won't have you passing out from exhaustion."
"Excuse me?"
Her voice took on a softer tone, but her eyes held a hint of command. "I won't negotiate on this. It's for your own good."
"I have more comissions waiting for me at my workshop." you insisted. "And I can't afford to deliver them late."
She leaned forward, her voice dropping lower. "Those orders can wait. Your health cannot. I won't take no for an answer on this, understand?"
ā€œHow bold of you,ā€ you scoff. ā€œYouā€™re asking me to rest when youā€™ve asked me for one of the strangest and most complex commissions this month.ā€
"And you took the commission, didn't you?" She retorted, her voice cold. "You agreed to it willingly. Don't act like I forced it upon you."
Before you could protest, Sevika's metal hand covered yours and she lowered herself to your level to say, leaving no room for argument: "You will quit work for today, I will get you dinner and you will go to sleep. Do you hear?"
You'd never seen Sevika this protective, this... bossy before. And honestly? It was kind of attractive. Her dominant aura was on full display, and the way she left no room for argument was both intimidating and thrilling.
"I hear," you managed to reply, your voice a breathless whisper.
Twenty minutes later, you popped a piece of turkey into your mouth, Sevika had brought you dinner and a glass of lemonade to go with your meal, as she watched you eat, she poured herself a cup of tea. She had had enough to drink for the day. By the second or third bite, you sensed the sudden comedown and felt nauseous. The shimmer was wearing off and Sevika was quick enough to kick the wastebasket towards you so you could throw up in it.
She moved quickly, resting a hand on your back as you wretched, attempting to provide some form of comfort. "Easy," she said quietly, rubbing slow, soothing circles on your back. "Just get it out."
The Shimmer comedown wasn't pleasant, it felt like all your energy was suddenly drained and replaced by an overwhelming feeling of malaise and despair. Your body was begging for more, and it was precisely that feeling that pushed people to buy more doses until they were in misery, but Sevika wouldn't allow it. Not when it comes to you. "It'll pass," she murmured quietly, her voice a soothing murmur. "Just breathe. It'll pass."
"Another one won't kill me..." you slurred with your head buried into the basket.
"That's where you're wrong," she replied, her voice firm. "It won't stop at just one. It never does. Especially not when you're already in this state."
Sevika straightened you up, handing you a bottle to rinse your mouth out. She then slid the plate over to you. "Eat."
"I don't..."
"I know you don't feel like it." She admitted, her voice softer now, "but you need to eat something. You haven't been taking proper care of yourself, and it shows."
You forced yourself to eat and drink the lemonade. Soon enough you were lying on the soft sofa in the room. Its walls were dark and seemed stained by the passing of time and cigarette smoke, it was lit by lamps in red and mustard tones. In the distance was the betting table, next to you the minibar and in front of you, sitting on a chair, Sevika was watching you. The withdrawal effect had already worn off, now you were just very sleepy.
"Are you feeling any better?"
"I'm... I wanna sleep." you slurred.
She took another puff of her cigarette, tapping the ash into the ashtray beside her. "Close your eyes. Sleep."
You clossed your eyes, the smell of the cigarette entering your nostrils. "You shouldn't smoke that much." you mumbled.
"Oh, really?" She replied, a hint of playful sarcasm in her voice. "And who's gonna stop me?" She took another long puff of her cigarette, the smoke wafting towards you, the scent musky and alluring. "You, perhaps?"
"I don't have any power over you." you admitted.
"No, you don't." She agreed, her expression softening slightly. "But," she mused quietly, her voice barely above a whisper, "sometimes, I wish you did."
You didn't know what to make of that, but you understood that Sevika wasn't joking. You felt a hand on your forehead, Sevika checking if you were feverish or cold, and luckily for you, you were fine. You shifted on the couch, before your curiosity got the better of you. "Silas said you've barely been to the brothel lately..."
"Are you concerned for my wellbeing?" She asked, her voice laced with a hint of sarcasm. "Or are you simply curious?"
"You're a woman of habits and you're missing that one."
"Yes, I suppose I am a woman of habits." She leaned back in her chair, her eyes still fixed on you. "And that one habit in particular... I've been avoiding it."
"Why?"
"It's... not as satisfying as it once was." She replied, her voice quiet, almost lost. "The same faces, the same encounters, the same routines. It's all... so hollow, now. Empty. Meaningless."
Suddenly you felt that the commission you're working on was meaningless. "Then why the hell am I fabricating a strap for you?" you asked with sleepy amusement.
"What do you mean 'why'?" She retorted, her tone sharp. "Because I asked you to, that's why."
"But you're saying you don't like to attend the brothel anymore." you inisisted. "Who will you use it with then?"
"I'll use it with whoever I damn well please," she continued, her tone growing sharper, "and it's none of your business who that is."
You noticed her tone change, she was closing up and it was best not to probe further. Not with Sevika. You simply nodded, closing your eyes against the potent spell of Shimmer's downturn and the days and days of work taking its toll on your body.
You felt her scent close by, a warm hand on your forehead and then tracing circles on your hair. You thought you were dreaming, or it was just the Shimmer messing with your mind, but you felt like you were in some kind of enchantment with those fingers massaging your scalp and the weight of her body next to you on the couch. "Get some sleep," she said quietly, her voice gentle. "I'll be here when you wake up."
To be continued...
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taglist: @lez-zuha @amoraeu @nikaachuuuu @furrytaesss @elliecoochieeater @n-noctiss @emmanetalias
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reasonsforhope Ā· 8 months ago
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"A 1-megawatt sand battery that can store up to 100 megawatt hours of thermal energy will be 10 times larger than a prototype already in use.
The new sand battery will eliminate the need for oil-based energy consumption for the entire town of town of Pornainen, Finland.
Sand gets charged with clean electricity and stored for use within a local grid.
Finland is doing sand batteries big. Polar Night Energy already showed off an early commercialized version of a sand battery in KankaanpƤƤ in 2022, but a new sand battery 10 times that size is about to fully rid the town of Pornainen, Finland of its need for oil-based energy.
In cooperation with the local Finnish district heating company Loviisan LƤmpƶ, Polar Night Energy will develop a 1-megawatt sand battery capable of storing up to 100 megawatt hours of thermal energy.
ā€œWith the sand battery,ā€ Mikko Paajanen, CEO of Loviisan LƤmpƶ, said in a statement, ā€œwe can significantly reduce energy produced by combustion and completely eliminate the use of oil.ā€
Polar Night Energy introduced the first commercial sand battery in 2022, with local energy utility Vatajankoski. ā€œIts main purpose is to work as a high-power and high-capacity reservoir for excess wind and solar energy,ā€ Markku Ylƶnen, Polar Nigh Energyā€™s co-founder and CTO, said in a statement at the time. ā€œThe energy is stored as heat, which can be used to heat homes, or to provide hot steam and high temperature process heat to industries that are often fossil-fuel dependent.ā€ ...
Sandā€”a high-density, low-cost material that the construction industry discards [Note: 6/13/24: Turns out that's not true! See note at the bottom for more info.] ā€”is a solid material that can heat to well above the boiling point of water and can store several times the amount of energy of a water tank. While sand doesnā€™t store electricity, it stores energy in the form of heat. To mine the heat, cool air blows through pipes, heating up as it passes through the unit. It can then be used to convert water into steam or heat water in an air-to-water heat exchanger. The heat can also be converted back to electricity, albeit with electricity losses, through the use of a turbine.
In Pornainen, Paajanen believes thatā€”just by switching to a sand batteryā€”the town can achieve a nearly 70 percent reduction in emissions from the district heating network and keep about 160 tons of carbon dioxide out of the atmosphere annually. In addition to eliminating the usage of oil, they expect to decrease woodchip combustion by about 60 percent.
The sand battery will arrive ready for use, about 42 feet tall and 49 feet wide. The new projectā€™s thermal storage medium is largely comprised of soapstone, a byproduct of Tulikiviā€™s production of heat-retaining fireplaces. It should take about 13 months to get the new project online, but once itā€™s up and running, the Pornainen battery will provide thermal energy storage capacity capable of meeting almost one month of summer heat demand and one week of winter heat demand without recharging.
ā€œWe want to enable the growth of renewable energy,ā€ Paajanen said. ā€œThe sand battery is designed to participate in all Fingridā€™s reserve and balancing power markets. It helps to keep the electricity grid balanced as the share of wind and solar energy in the grid increases.ā€"
-via Popular Mechanics, March 13, 2024
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Note: I've been keeping an eye on sand batteries for a while, and this is really exciting to see. We need alternatives to lithium batteries ASAP, due to the grave human rights abuses and environmental damage caused by lithium mining, and sand batteries look like a really good solution for grid-scale energy storage.
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Note 6/13/24: Unfortunately, turns out there are substantial issues with sand batteries as well, due to sand scarcity. More details from a lovely asker here, sources on sand scarcity being a thing at the links: x, x, x, x, x
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queenimmadolla Ā· 1 year ago
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(dad!eddie x mom!reader)
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Summary: Eddie has to shower before he can hold his impatient baby. She's having none of it.
a/n: i was attacked by yet ANOTHER cute baby tiktok so here we are with a little bit of grease monkey!eddie and another little drabble. set in the early days of the pennyverse. and yes, i've used this gif before but he's dead so i'm running out of them. mistakes might be fixed later, i dont know :)
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ā€œAre these your little fingers?ā€ You asked your baby, tone saturated in honey and affection as you held the chunky palm in question, lips pressed to her pudgy fingertips.Ā 
Ā  Despite your aversion to it prior to your pregnancy, youā€™d inevitably developed a baby voice when Penny had come into the world and you couldnā€™t be blamed. Not when she was all squish, delicate cheeks holding so much chub they bulged, and rolls decorated her little limbs. She was a glutton, always demanding your milk and you couldnā€™t deny her; those big, gorgeous eyes sheā€™d inherited from her father made it nearly impossible to, even when the wetness welling up in them were completely alligator tears. And those curls.Ā 
Ā  Regardless of taming them with some water, a brush and maybe some vaseline, they ended up wild, flying about or mussed and matted to her head with sweat because your baby was a little heater when she slept and napped. Just like her daddy.
Ā  Your smile widened in size when you heard the sound of keys slotting into place at the front door, the lock mechanism giving away. It tripled when you realized your baby also recognized the sound, head turning to stare at the door as she bobbed in place, thick legs squatting and then popping back up as you held her by her waist with your other hand, assisting her with standing.
Ā  The moment Eddie opened the door and came into view she began cooing and squealing in excitement, mouth parting in a wide smile as drool raced down from the corner of her mouth.
You laughed, and so did Eddie as he heard his baby welcoming him home.
Ā  ā€œYou excited to see me, sweet pea?ā€ He cooed right back, walking over to squat in front of the two of you, eyes raking over you momentarily in appreciation before focusing on the little one in your arms.Ā 
Ā  She let out another long coo that ended on an airy sigh, pulling her hand from your grasp to reach both of her pudgy ones out to him, practically begging him to hold her as she began wiggling in your arms.
Ā  Eddieā€™s head tilted, lips curling into the most tender smile as he stared down at her with nothing but love swimming in those eyes heā€™d shared with her.Ā 
Ā  ā€œDaddy missed you and mommy so much.ā€ He whispered, a hand reaching out, almost close enough to caress her soft cheek but it hesitated before he could touch her. His rough, grease covered finger was a stark contrast to her clean, smooth skin. Clearly, youā€™d given her a bath before he got home because her mouth and cheeks were usually covered in the food you were starting to offer her (sometimes baby food, but mostly bits of your food because she wouldnā€™t accept any offerings of mushed up veggies and fruits if there was something else on your plate, hence why your diet had been pretty bland and not at all a result of the tight budget your maternity leave left you on).
The rest of his hands were no better, palms stained, streaks all over his arms as a result of shucking the top half of the monkey suit and rolling up his sleeves at the garage.Ā 
Ā  There were even a few streaks of grease and maybe oil on his face and neck. Your husband smelled more so of tires than he had the spicy cologne that surrounded you when heā€™d kissed you goodbye in bed this morning.Ā 
Ā  And he knew it.
Ā  Penny didnā€™t let that stop her, still eagerly reaching out for him as she grunted to try and provoke him in swooping her up into his embrace.
Ā  ā€œAs soon as daddyā€™s clean, okay? Iā€™ll pick you up and my sweet girl can give me all the cuddles she wants.ā€ He promised, hands on his knees before he stood back up, leaning over her to give you a sweaty, greasy oh so sweet and firm press of the lips kiss before he swiveled around and disappeared into the small bathroom as quickly as he could to be out of hearing range when Penny began whimpering at his absence.Ā 
Ā  You heard the shower start running at the exact moment she began to cry and you offered a sympathetic whine of your own as you adjusted your grip on her, bringing Penny up to your chest, your cheek smushed against her more plump one.
Ā  ā€œShhhā€¦itā€™s okay, my love. Daddyā€™s just showering. Heā€™ll be back.ā€ You stood up, hitching Penny on your hip as you walked to the entrance of the small hallway so the bathroom door was visible to her. Eddieā€™s humming floated out from underneath the crack of it.Ā 
Ā  Penny was Eddieā€™s daughter, alright, full of dramatics as her breathing remained heavy, chest rising and falling quickly with the hitches in her breath as a chunky fist gripped onto your blouse, lower lip curling out and wobbling. She didnā€™t seem satisfied with your explanation but that didnā€™t worry you. If Penny was awake when Eddie left for work in the morning, sheā€™d start bawling.Ā 
Ā  The first couple of times sheā€™d started reacting to his departure, heā€™d ended up full of guilt and late to work. It still wasnā€™t easy for him, even after youā€™d finally convinced him sheā€™d have the same reaction whether he left in the morning, afternoon, or evening. Regardless of the time, she was going to be upset that she wouldnā€™t be able to see her daddy, probably convinced in her little baby mind that heā€™d abandoned her (heā€™d nearly quit the shop when youā€™d phrased it like that) but heā€™d always come home to herā€”and youā€”and thatā€™s what mattered.
Ā  You were positive sheā€™d start yelling and shrieking when it came time for you to go back to work, too. She was just a baby, so she was being a baby.
Ā  You carried your huffing and puffing daughter back to the living room, placing her down on the carpet in front of some toys she had been playing with earlier in the day. Maybe theyā€™d distract her.
Ā  Wrong.
Ā  She sat on the carpet, chunky legs strewn out for just a few seconds before she was moving forward onto her belly and propping herself up. Then she was off, crawling as fast as she could towards the hallway while breathing heavily with exhilaration. You trailed after her, amused at how stubborn she was when she stopped directly in front of the bathroom door, propping herself up on her bottom.
Ā  You watched Penny reach out with shaky palms, pressing them gently against the door. It looked like they were feeling around it before she began slapping them against it as hard as she could as she yelled her baby babble, no doubt demanding her daddy open the door, pick her up and love her right now.
Ā  Giggles were muffled into your palm, as she kept up with it.Ā 
Ā  Eventually, maybe when she realized that wasnā€™t working, Penny leaned over, wiggling around until she was on her tummy and the side of her head was resting on the carpet. You realized she was trying to look under the door for him and your heart clenched, hand flying over your chest as if you could grasp the organ.
Ā  You expected her to sit back up and go back to smacking the door but she remained there, a stubby finger absentmindedly trailing through the carpet as she stared through the thin crack, warm bathroom light and Eddieā€™s voice flooding out from underneath to comfort her as she waited.
Ā  Picking her up had crossed your mind, and so did the idea of how loudly sheā€™d probably start screaming and crying if you did.Ā 
Ā  The two of you didnā€™t have to wait for long, the shower shut off and you could hear the sounds of the shower curtain rings scraping against the rod as Eddie pulled them back.Ā 
Ā  Panic briefly filled your chest as you realized Eddie probably wasnā€™t expecting his baby to be lying on the floor directly outside of the bathroomā€”heā€™d step on her, so you called out, ā€œHeads up, Eddie, youā€™ve got a visitor.ā€
Ā  You didnā€™t hear a response, but a few moments later, the door opened to reveal your husband. Water droplets slipped down his neck and chest. He had one towelā€”that had definitely seen better daysā€”wrapped around his waist and another (yours) he was using to scrunch up his sopping wet curls to dry them.
Ā  Eddie had heard you, shooting you a smirk before he addressed the baby beaming up at him, ā€œShowerā€™s free if you wanna hop in, stinky.ā€
Ā  Penny had no idea what he was saying, it didnā€™t matter anyways because he said it in the same voice he used when he gave her kisses and held her to his chest so she was reaching up for him and he finally reached downā€”with clean handsā€”grasping her sides before she was hoisted into his arms. Penny wasted no time, mouth parting wide to mouth aggressively at his face and chin while she shook her head and wiggled about.
Ā  She was giving him kisses.
Ā  Or trying to eat him, she had little bursts of energy where sheā€™d do thatā€”attack you out of nowhere while you held her causing the both of you to break out laughing.
Ā  Eddie let her get it all out, and when she cooed, resting her cheek on his shoulder, he retaliated. Her cheeks and little neck rolls were smattered in his smacking kisses as she squealed and shrieked and wiggled but there was no escaping her daddyā€™s clutches now that she was finally in them.Ā 
Ā  When every inch of her available to him had been kissed, he turned towards you and you suddenly found yourself victim to two sets of identical crinkly brown eyes. A deep chuckle rumbled from Eddie as he padded over to where you stood, mischievous smirk making another appearance.
Ā  ā€œMommyā€™s turn.ā€
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inkskinned Ā· 2 years ago
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you were raised in comparison.
it wasn't always obvious (well. except for the times that it was), but you internalized it young. you had to eat what you didn't like, other people are going hungry, and you should be grateful. you had to suck it up and walk on the twisted ankle, it wasn't broken, you were just being a baby. you were never actually suffering, people obviously had it worse than you did.
you had a roof over your head - imagine! with the way you behaved, with how you talked back to your parents? you're lucky they didn't kick you out on your ass. they had friends who had to deal with that. hell, you have friends who had to deal with that. and how dare you imply your father isn't there for you - just because he doesn't ever actually talk to you and just because he's completely emotionally checked out of your life doesn't mean you're not fucking lucky. think about your cousins, who don't even get to speak to their dad. so what if yours has a mean streak; is aggressive and rude. at least you have a father to be rude to you.
you really think you're hurting? you were raised in a home! you had access to clean water! you never so much as came close to experiencing a real problem. sure, okay. you have this "mental illness" thing, but teenagers are always depressed, right. it's a phase, you'll move on with your life.
what do you mean you feel burnt out at work. what do you mean you mean you never "formed healthy coping mechanisms?" we raised you better than that. you were supposed to just shoulder through things. to hold yourself to high expectations. "burning out" is for people with real jobs and real stress. burnout is for people who have sick kids and people who have high-paying jobs and people who are actually experiencing something difficult. recently you almost cried because you couldn't find your fucking car keys. you just have lost your sense of gratitude, and honestly, we're kind of hurt. we tell you we love you, isn't that enough? if you want us to stick around, you need to be better about proving it. you need to shut up about how your mental health is ruined.
it could be worse! what if you were actually experiencing executive dysfunction. if you were really actually sick, would you even be able to look at things on the internet about it? you just spend too much time on webMD. you just like to freak yourself out and feel like you belong to something. you just like playing the victim. this is always how you have been - you've always been so fucking dramatic. you have no idea how good you have it - you're too fucking sensitive.
you were like, maybe too good of a kid. unwilling to make a real fuss. and the whole time - the little points, the little validations - they went unnoticed. it isn't that you were looking for love, specifically - more like you'd just wanted any one person to actually listen. that was all you'd really need. you just needed to be witnessed. it wasn't that you couldn't withstand the burden, but you did want to know that anyone was watching. these days, you are so accustomed to the idea of comparison - you don't even think you belong in your own communities. someone always fits better than you do. you're always the outlier. they made these places safe, and then you go in, and you are just not... quite the same way that would actually-fit.
you watch the little white ocean of your numbness lap at your ankles. the tide has been coming in for a while, you need to do something about it. what you want to do is take a nap. what you want to do is develop some kind of time machine - it's not like you want your life to stop, not completely, but it would really nice if you could just get everything to freeze, just for a little while, just until you're finished resting. but at least you're not the worst you've been. at least you have anything. you're so fucking lucky. do you have any concept of the amount of global suffering?
a little ant dies at the side of your kitchen sink. you look at its strange chitinous body and think - if you could just somehow convince yourself it is enough, it will finally be enough and you can be happy. no changes will have to be made. you just need to remember what you could lose. what is still precious to you.
you can't stop staring at the ant. you could be an ant instead of a person, that is how lucky you are. it's just - you didn't know the name of the ant, did you. it's just - ants spend their whole life working, and never complain. never pull the car over to weep.
it's just - when it died, it curled up into a tight little ball.
something kind of uncomfortable: you do that when you sleep.
#writeblr#warm up#my dad was actively doing bad shit to us and we STILL were told we were lucky . and to a point i do think im lucky#i just think also there's somethin to be said about like. how about we stop using comparison to dismiss ppls individual struggles#yes there are people who have no perspective. for the reference tho having perspective actually made me really unwilling to get help#for what was a serious and debilitating mental health issue. bc i thought i didnt DESERVE IT#and i would rather have 600 ppl who aren't THAT bad get help and get heard and get seen#than make any 1 kid. do the math that i did: look at the world that is dying and the people who are hurting and say#''oh. okay. others have it worse. they are probably better people than i am. i am being unreasonable. i cannot ask for help#i am not good. i am taking too much space. i am not worth saving.''#bc our WHOLE lives we are taught a scarcity mindset - that you can 'steal' from someone. so that instead of changing a system that doesn't#actually offer fair support to everyone#we put the impetus on the individual to just... demand less.#and here's something - there are probably ppl who think i DIDNT deserve to get help#bc i DID have it better than other people#and something about that is ... so sickening. bc i think all of us in some way at some point WILL need help.#we were supposed to make communities. we were supposed to offer our hands. we were supposed to raise the barn#instead we said: it could be worse. now handle it yourself
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natalievoncatte Ā· 5 months ago
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The yawn stretched Lenaā€™s jaw to the point that she felt like a cat, baring her fangs. Naturally, it prompted a Kara Danvers Pout, which was utterly devastating. Kara looked at her over the top of her drink cup, straw still pursed in her delicate pink lips as she frowned slightly.
ā€œHow long have you been awake?ā€
ā€œI had a half hour nap this morning,ā€ Lena sighed.
Sheā€™d been in the office for three days, but she didnā€™t admit that.
ā€œLeeeenaaaaaaa,ā€ Kara said, drawing her name out into a gentle rebuke. ā€œYou promised me youā€™d stop doing that to yourself. Iā€™m taking you home.ā€
Lenaā€™s heart skipped and Kara abruptly jerked upright, briefly glancing at her. Lena hated when that happened, when her body betrayed her. Kara meant escort her home; Lenaā€™s thoroughly tired mind had supplied another scenario, one where Kara carried her onto the bed, relieved her of her clothes and dove between her legs, but that was never going to happen. Lena let out a long sigh of resignation, trying to be satisfied with best-friendship.
She hoped Kara hadnā€™t suddenly developed telepathy.
If you took me home Iā€™d never leave. I could make love to you for a hundred years.
Kara smiled back at Lenaā€™s wistful look. ā€œI mean it.ā€
ā€œOkay. I can come back to it tomorrow. Besides, Iā€™m too full of grease and cheese to stay awake. Should weā€¦ā€
Lena never finished her sentence. There was a crackle in the air, a sudden wet smell of ozone, and the thunderous boom that made her ears ring.
Kara flashed in front of her at super-speed, yanking off her glasses and tossing them on the couch in a smooth motion.
Hovering in the middle of her office was some ramshackle contraption resembling a mechanical eye about the size of a basketball that scanned Kara with a faint purple energy ray.
ā€œKara Danvers. Supergirl. I am Zeglos, Regent of the Alotian Republic. I am calling to you from the home of my people, located in what is to you a subatomic realm we call Universe Q. We need your help, you are our only hope. The invaders are slaughtering us and razing our home. There is no time.ā€
Kara glanced back at Lena. ā€œIā€™ll help if I can. Let me-ā€œ
ā€œThere is no time. You must come with me now.ā€
ā€œWait, hold on a second-ā€œ
The machine flashed, thrumming as it powered up, and blasted here with a wave of light that surrounded them both, and then in a crackling boom they both vanished, leaving behind the ozone smell and a faint impression of Karaā€™s boot heels in the carpet.
Lena stared into the empty space for a moment, then shot to her feet, snatching the phone off her desk, where it had lain ignored since Kara walked into the room.
She called Alex, shocked at the blubbering panic in her own voice. Within a few minutes, everyone was there, piling into the room. Lena warded them off from the spot where Kara had stood. Alex was cold and calm, her voice clinical, and she immediately began issuing orders. Jā€™onn took Lena aside and gently asked her probing questions in the manner of an old detective, coaxing every meager detail of the event out of her.
Within half an hour, Brainy and Lena had set up all sorts of equipment around the room, scanning, hoping to find some energy signature or other clue that could enable them to bring Kara back from wherever sheā€™d been taken.
It proved fruitless. They tried everything.
Minutes stretched into hours. Lena was exhausted, heavy with fatigue.
ā€œGo home, get some sleep,ā€ said Alex. ā€œWe canā€™t help her if we pass out on the floor.ā€
ā€œIā€™ll sleep here.ā€
She did, throwing a thin blanket over herself on the couch. It was Alex, not Lena, who cleaned up the Big Belly Burger mess. Lena slept fitfully, showered in the en-suite attached to her office, and changed into an old hoodie that she kept there and wore when no one was looking.
It wasnā€™t hers. Threadbare, a maroon color faded to a soft red, the back still emblazoned with a cracked and fading Midvale Mathletes Club logo, it was Karaā€™s. Lena had snatched it from Karaā€™s sofa and put it on one night when she was feeling bold and then, as now, felt surrounded by it, the oversized garment swaddling her.
And it smelled like Kara, just enough. Kara had stared at her intently for a moment when she took it that night but said nothing, a wistful sad look on her face before the moment was broken by Wynnā€™s bad joke at the table. Wynn was gone now, but the hoodie remained, just as it had remained when they were fighting, when she thought sheā€™d never see Kara again. Sheā€™d worn it then and cried herself to sleep in it.
Just like now.
A day became two. Then three. Five. Lena tried everything, pursued every theory. They called in every favor, human and alien. Brainy tried to send messages to the future. Nia dreamed fruitless dreams. Alex paced like a caged animal and Kelly kept the peace, keeping them all fed, making sure everyone slept, talking things out whenever tempers flared.
Nothing worked.
Lena even tried praying, something she hadnā€™t done since the last time she was in a small church in Ireland. It didnā€™t work this time, either.
Lena was seated next to Brainy on the couch, going over a design for a new device to try to follow what was by now a thoroughly cold trail. Alex stood at the balcony door, staring out into a slashing summer rain squall that buffeted the glass with distant thunder and gusts of wind.
The ozone smell tickled Lenaā€™s nose and she looked up, just as Kara took a stumbling step out of nowhere, appearing in her office with an utterly bewildered look on her face.
ā€œKara?ā€
Alex snapped round, adding her voice to the chorus. ā€œKara?ā€
Kara stared at her sister, open-mouthed, tears welling in her eyes.
ā€œAlex?ā€ she said. ā€œAlex, youā€™re alive? How is that possible?ā€
ā€œAlive? Why wouldnā€™t I be?ā€
ā€œKara!ā€ Lena cried, her voice ragged in her throat.
At the sound of her voice, Kara snapped around, eyes wide. Her knees buckled and she sagged, almost falling. She stumbled forward as Lena stood and they fell into each other, Lena hurling herself, reckless, into an embrace that revealed too much. She almost climbed Kara, all but throwing her legs around her as well as her arms as she buried her face in the Kryptonianā€™s neck.
ā€œOh God. Oh Rao. I thought you would all be gone. I begged them to let me leave but they wouldnā€™t let me go, I had toā€¦ā€
ā€œKara?ā€ Alex asked, cautiously. ā€œWhy would we be gone?ā€
Kara barely seemed to hear her as she gently twined her fingers in Lenaā€™s hair and wrapped her powerful arm around Lenaā€™s waist, encircling and shielding her.
ā€œHow long has it been?ā€
ā€œAbout a week,ā€ Lena choked out. ā€œI was so scared.ā€
ā€œA week?ā€ Kara blurted. ā€œItā€™s only been a week here?ā€
Alex put a reassuring hand on Karaā€™s back, standing next to them. ā€œYeah, you were taken on Tuesday, kiddo. Itā€™s Wednesday, the 17th.ā€
Kara stared past Lena, resting her chin on the shorter womanā€™s head, and began to sob with relief.
ā€œKara?ā€ said Alex.
ā€œTime dilation,ā€ said Brainy.
ā€œThey told me time would pass slower up here but I didnā€™t believe them. Iā€™ve been gone forā€¦ forā€¦ā€
ā€œItā€™s okay, Kara,ā€ Lena whispered. ā€œYouā€™re okay, youā€™re back.ā€
ā€œEighty seven years, four months, and eighteen days,ā€ Kara sobbed. ā€œItā€™s been so long, I thought you were all dead.ā€
Alex stiffened. ā€œKara. Oh my God.ā€
Kara buried her face in Lenaā€™s hair and breathed her in, shuddering. ā€œIā€™d given up. All that kept me going was hoping I could see you again. This is a gift. A gift. I love you all so much.ā€
Kara still held her, rocking slightly, her big shoulders shaking with powerful sobs.
ā€œKara,ā€ Lena whispered. ā€œKara, itā€™s okay.ā€
ā€œI love you,ā€ Kara blurted. ā€œI love you. Itā€™s okay if you donā€™t love me back, I just need to tell you, I have to tell you. All I could think about down there is how stupid I was and how stupid Iā€™ve been and how none of the reasons I never told you made any sense,ā€ she sucked in a breath as if sheā€™d briefly forgotten how, ā€œI love you, I love you, I love you.ā€
There could be no mistaking her intent. She seethed with it, it radiated from her very bones. Lena hugged her hard, crushing her with all her might as if to crawl inside her.
ā€œGod, Kara, Iā€™ve dreamed of hearing you say that. I love you too. Letā€™sā€¦ mmmph!ā€
Kara was kissing her. Lenaā€™s brain briefly froze, then she realized the full magnitude of what was happening. Kara was kissing her. Kara was kissing her. Then Lena was kissing her back. There was so much in it, need and lust and adoration and an unbelievable desperation, but above all love. Lena felt her heart open as if hadnā€™t in a long time, like a flower unfolding to receive the nurturing warmth of morning sun.
ā€œIā€™ve been waiting for this for so long,ā€ Kara whispered when they finally broke and Lena again could breathe.
ā€œLet me take you home,ā€ said Lena.
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synchodai Ā· 2 months ago
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Arcane S2 wasn't as good because it wasn't about air
The common critique of Arcane season two was that "it didn't let the story breathe." I'm going to one-up that and state that season one set up an entire story about breathing and forgot that in season two.
Yes, yes, Arcane was a story about Piltover oppressing the undercity, but unlike a lot of other stories about social stratification, Arcane was very explicit about the methods Piltover uses to disenfranchise Zaun. Season one was clearly a story about eco-apartheid maintained through extractivist practices.
WHAT IS ECO-APARTHEID?
Ecological apartheid (also known as enviromental racism) is a form of disenfranchising and spatially separating a class of people through pollution, exploitation, and abuse of their local environment.
[E]nvironmental apartheid was largely instituted throughĀ rural marginalization, the use of rural space as an environmental means of marginalization... - Environmental apartheid: Eco-health and rural marginalization in South Africa
Topside and the undercity are basically one nation state with a blindingly stark fence between them. Piltover and Zaun are simultaneously connected and separated by the Bridge of Progress. Progress unites them and alienates them from one another. Progress is why Piltover is wealthy and clean, and it is why Zaun is impoverished and polluted. It is was on the Bridge of Progress that Silco incited the riot that led to Vi and Powder's orphaning and Vander's betrayal. It's where Ekko and Jinx have their standoff, and where the Hextech core is exchanged. In other words, progress is a border.
WHAT IS EXTRACTIVISM?
Prior to the proliferation of shimmer and the chembarons, industry in the undercity appears to be heavily centralized around one thing ā€” fissure mining. Vi and Powder's parents used to be miners along with Vander and Silco. Jayce and Vi visit one of these mines and she explains the masks the workers use. Oh, and let's not forget the children don't have to yearn for the mines when they're dying in the mines!
The Zaunites' livelihood being dependant on the extraction of natural resources for the benefit of the Piltovans is what is known as extractivism ā€” the exploitation of a resource-rich land and its people by a separate "global North."
In practice, extractivism has been a mechanism of colonial and neocolonial plunder and appropriation. This extractivism, which has appeared in different guises over time, was forged in the exploitation of the raw materials essential for the industrial development and prosperity of the global North. - Extractivism and neoextractivism: two sides of the same curse
The "North," in this case, clearly being Piltover. The resources being abused and exploited here aren't only the fissure mines, but also the bodies of the workers and those born around them. Viktor's illness, for example, is a product of growing up around the gaseous waste of the fissure mines. The Zaunites take the brunt of the side-effects of the pollution so that the topsiders don't have to. The "dregs" are kept below while materials, both people and things, that are deemed useful get to rise to the top. The processing of raw materials and shipping happens in Piltover, so it's the Piltovans who get a final say on the profits.
Silco and the chembarons establish their power by creating an industry that operates outside of fissure mining that doesn't rely on the patronage of the global North. Needless to say, drug dealing isn't exactly a noble trade, but extraction, processing, and distribution are mainly controlled and operated by Zaunites, which allows them a source of wealth and power that they can leverage against Piltover. To use a more recognizable phrase, they own the means of shimmer production.
I find it fascinating that shimmer is made by killing innocent underground creatures. Cannibalizing your own kind for a temporary boost of strength that eventually turns the user into a monster? It's a poignant metaphor about the infighting of not just the chembarons' gangs but of oppressed groups in general. And while shimmer offers power and brings in wealth, that's not what the undercity truly needs and only corrupts it even further.
Nah, the show has been very clear that what Zaun needs is breathable air.
SEASON 2 FORGOT ABOUT AIR
Even outside of the air pollution caused by fissure mining, the theme of breathing and air is everywhere in season one. Ekko and the Firelights' community is built around a tree ā€” the clean air it provides is the reason they've been able to sustain themselves. It is considered an oasis in polluted Zaun. Jinx's is often heralded by brightly colored smoke, and the way she signals to Violet is through a flare that emits it. Silco's altercation with Vander involves him almost drowning ā€” Vander literally choking the air out of him. Silco, in reponse to this traumatic event, teaches Jinx to willingly submerge herself in a place without air by baptizing her in the same filthy water he was choked in.
In other words, air is life and purpose. Zaun's aesthetics are defined by gas masks and smoke. Meanwhile, the scenes in Piltover are clean and clear. Ekko and the Firelights' tree represented hope and the possibility of clean air in Zaun. Viktor was similarly associated to flowers that grew in the underground, symbolizing how beautiful things can live even in the harshest circumstances.
Environmental degradation, more specifically air pollution, is the raison d'ĆŖtre of topside-undercity conflict. Silco says as much when he threatens the other chembarons and reminds them of why he's in charge.
Have you forgotten where we came from? The mines they had us in? Air so thick it clogs your throat ā€” stuck in your eyes. I pulled you all up from the depths, offered you a taste of topside and fresh air. I gave you life. Purpose. But you've grown fat and complacent, too much time in the sun. We came from a world where there was never enough to go around. That is why we fight. Do you remember? - The Boy Savior, Arcane S01E07
But by the second and third acts of season two, pollution may not as well exist in Zaun. How does Viktor's commune plant its flowers and grow its fruits? Does the Firelights' tree ever get cured of its corruption? Did everyone forget that the undercity is literally suffocating? Seriously, why is Ekko's storyline with the tree never resolved? Why give Jinx that monologue about a wispy goddess of air the fissurefolk pray to and never go anywhere with it?
JINX SHOULD HAVE BEEN ASSOCIATED TO JANNA
The Grey presented an opportunity for Jinx to be the revolutionary hero Arcane wanted her to be. The enforcers have clearly aligned themselves with pollution and poison, and Jinx could have been the herald of their wind goddess come to answer the people's prayers for relief. But the people don't rally behind Jinx because of her association to Janna, clean air, or her repelling the invading cops using bioweapons.
I firmly believe that Jinx being a symbol of the revolution because she blew up a government building is missing a few steps. She'll get radicals who already hated Piltover behind her, sure, but the everyday Zaunite would more likely blame her for causing chaos and bringing trouble to their streets. Because the average person doesn't really care who's on the council or if a politician so far from them dies. But they do care if the cops are suddenly at their door with tear gas because an extremist junkie decided to commit arson.
The first act of season two had me very optimistic that the show was picking up where it left off with its enviromental themes. The enforcers use The Grey, polluted air, to surpress dissent and hunt down Jinx. Jinx fights back under a mural of Janna, the goddess of clean air. Her plan involves her using air to push back The Grey and send the gust up to Piltover. After being actively gassed by the enforcers, Jinx and her association to colorful wind becomes a symbol of hope and revolution to the people of the undercity.
Except that's not what happens. The Grey is only shown affecting targeted criminals with no collateral damage to civilians despite it being deployed all over the trenches. The gusts of wind Jinx pushes up to Piltover don't make topsiders experience the air pollution Zaunites suffer. Instead, it just midly inconveniences them with paint splatters. In the end, The Grey is forgotten and has nothing to do with their fight in front of Janna's mural. Caitlyn gets a promotion despite gassing the entire underground with nothing to show for it, and the undercity idolizes Jinx despite her being the reason they were gassed in the first place.
ECOLOGICAL RESTORATION IS INTERPERSONAL RESTORATION
Unlike in the game, Arcane chose topside and the undercity to be originally established as one city ā€” and I don't think that was done without reason. The nation of Zaun and its identity is established as a reaction to the suffering of those underground. A community developed centered around helping one another cope and survive through the pollution. In short, Piltover created Zaun.
Thus, the interplay between Piltover and Zaun extended to all plotlines and the relationships they explored and developed. Jinx and Vi, Vi and Caitlynn, Viktor and Jayce, Ekko and Heimerdinger ā€” these are all relationships that reflect the tension between Zaun and Piltover. Family torn apart by civil war, bitter ex lovers, different ideological approaches to scientific advancement, intuitive inventiveness and practiced genius. Their relationships are born from a common desire and degrade because of that looming border inflicted by the pursuit of progress.
Piltover and Zaun is a single house fractured because of how it threw all its detritus in the basement as it sought to build a tower that will reach the skies. The whole building is threatening to crumble, especially now that someone threw a bomb at it like in the finale of season one. The status quo Arcane and we as a globalized eco-apartheid have is extremely precarious as is any foundation built on abuse and exploitation. A lot of people will cheer on the Jinxes who don't care so much about fixing it than they do burning it all down to express their understandable rage and grief, but that doesn't really fix the problem of having breathable air, does it?
Unfortunately, we'll never know how the show will wrap up the Zaunite plight because it was all but forgotten in season 2. The problem of Zaun was never that they needed to evolve or be perfect ā€” it's that their environment and the people by extension were being suffocated.
In my perfect world, the finale would have addressed the lack of light and clean air in the underground. It would have mirrored how some bodies and relationships can never truly fully recover the damage that has been done. As in real life, restoration is not a substitute for not doing harm in the first place. But it could have ended with a hopeful message that burning it down and running away isn't the answer either.
When Viktor was healing Vander and decided that, despite the unprecedented effort and time, his natural, non-weaponized humanity was worth saving because of how much he means to his local community, I thought that was what they were going for. Alas, they didn't let the show breathe.
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nataliescatorccioapologist Ā· 10 months ago
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Letā€™s talk about one of the most underrated dynamics in Yellowjackets: Nat and Tai
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Nat and Tai have such a troubled little sister/protective big sister dynamic that is not talked about enough.
Before the crash, there is clearly a lot of tension in Nat and Taiā€™s relationship. Their personalities clash a bit, as Tai is driven and ambitious while Nat is more reckless and directionless. Tai doesnā€™t understand Natā€™s drug use and promiscuity and openly criticizes her for it. Tai is focused on the success of the team and she sees Nat and her behavior as an obstacle to this success.
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However, I think there is some care behind her harsh statements. We can see her tough love approach towards Nat starting to develop. She wants Nat to get better, she just has a gruff way of showing it.
We see Tai begin to develop more of a softness for Nat after the crash. I think, as Tai begins to experience what it feels what itā€™s like to be in survival mode (and starts to lose control of herself) as Nat has been for most of her life, she begins to understand Nat and her coping mechanisms more.
Another important part of their dynamic is that they were the last two skeptics remaining in the Wilderness. When Natalie would challenge Lottie, Tai was often the first (and only) person to back her up. They are both grounded in pragmatism and logic.
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Nat and Tai also have the shared experience of watching their partners ā€œgo the the dark sideā€ (AKA join Lottieā€™s cult). Van and Travis are arguably some of Lottieā€™s most devoted followers towards the end of Season 2, and both Tai and Nat struggle to grapple with this and the rift it creates in their respective romantic relationships.
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After they are rescued, Taissa manages to pick herself back up while Nat falls apart, and their little sister/big sister dynamic grows even more as a result. Tai pays for Natā€™s rehab, tries to keep her away from Travis because she knows heā€™s bad for her, keeps pulling her back up and trying to keep her on her feet. I think it says a lot that Tai is the first person Nat thinks to call when sheā€™s arrested.
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And then, of course, thereā€™s the scene where Tai defends her decision to pay for Natā€™s rehab and continue to try to keep her clean. This scene breaks my heart and shows the caretaker role Taissa has taken on for Nat after the crash. She understands why Nat copes the way she does, and she knows that, unlike Shauna and herself, Nat doesnā€™t have a support system to rely on.
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Even when Nat is being crowned as the new AQ I feel like you can see the concern on Taiā€™s face. Tai pledges her support of Natā€™s new leadership, but you can tell she is also wary of the burden being placed on Nat, and how that might affect her.
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Taiā€™s face is somber like sheā€™s worried about her, but she gives Natā€™s hand a small little squeeze of reassurance.
Anyways, I just love how Nat and Taiā€™s relationship transforms and grows over time. Tai has an empathy and care for Nat that the other survivors just donā€™t seem to have. I canā€™t wait to see more of their dynamic post-rescue as Tai struggles to keep Nat afloat and pick up the pieces after her toxic stints with Travis.
This has been way longer than I intended it to be, Iā€™ll just leave yā€™all with this last clip of Nat giving petulant little sister vibes with Tai that I absolutely loveā€¦
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sofs16 Ā· 1 year ago
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tissue love
pairing ferrari engineer x charles leclerc
warnings a few point of view changes but thereā€™s bold text that would indicate it
note would be a nice christmas gift if you guys followed my x account lecls16 :,)
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ynslife
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liked byĀ charles_leclerc, andĀ 974Ā others ynslife last gp of the season ā¤ļø so glad to be part of this team!
view all 28 comments ferrariloverz best ferrari engineer !! user itā€™s the end of the season and charles is still lurking in her likes šŸ˜­
charles leclerc has been admiring yn yln from afar for the last 5 months. she was charming, a little shy, fun to be around with, and absolutely beautiful to charles.
he hadnā€™t yet mustered up the courage to ask her if she wanted to hang out with him; more so on a date with him. the most charles has ever gotten was a 15 minute chat with her as they both went to the wrong meeting and had the wrong time. ironically it was the perfect time for charles to talk to the young blonde.
oh! and also the time charles stalked her instagram and accidentally followed her. she followed back within the hour.
anyways, today was the last gp. it wasnā€™t exactly his year, nor ferrariā€™s year, but today was also the last day before he most likely wouldnā€™t see yn for another 2 months. or last working day as the ferrari team will have a christmas party tomorrow night.
charles put his balaclava on and saw yn giggling with the other engineers as she covered her mouth. they both made eye contact and she smiled and held up a thumbs up to charles.
he was ready
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the night of the christmas party, he could already see ynā€™s bright red shoes peeking out of the photobooth.
the party was held at a house and there was so much red that charles felt a little ā€˜fomoā€™ with the lack of red he was wearing as he was just in a simple pair of jeans and a white shirt.
he waited outside the photo booth with no one in line too busy talking and drinking, hoping that yn would notice him and maybe even take a few with him.
you did.
you sat at the edge of the seat, moving the curtain to the side while waiting for the photos to develop. you saw a looming figure and looked up to see charles. you hadnā€™t talked much but he was a talented man and incredibly kind.
ā€œhi, charles!ā€ you smiled to him ā€œhello, yn! you look good ā€” not to be weird by saying that! but youā€¦ get me, right?ā€ he rambled as you giggled ā€œthank you, charles! yes i get youā€ you chuckled ā€œyou clean up wellā€ you added
he shook it off with a laugh ā€œdo you want to take a photo?ā€ you shuffled to the end of the booth and he sat with you. you smiled at each other and you pressed the button before doing multiple seriesā€™ of goofy poses.
after a few minutes you both took a moment to laugh at the outcome. neither of you left the otherā€™s side. that night you were glued to the hip with charles that even carlos wiggled his eyebrows at the monĆ©gasque, unbeknownst to you.
you even sat together at the dinner table and bumped shoulders while the others cracked jokes.
but what really was the highlight of your night was the games. specifically the tissue drop game.
the host of the night asked all single women and men to go to the middle of the room for the games. you still stood beside charles and so, you both ended up being partners despite other of your colleagues asking if he wanted to be partners with them.
he shook his head with a smile and said he was already partners with you. blush crept onto your cheeks every time your fingers would brush against his.
the mechanics made you burn ferrari red. ā€˜we will drop a tissue and you and your pair must both catch itā€¦ in between your lipsā€™.
charles was trying his best not to sweat it.
charles was nodding along with the words going over his head. he might be able to kiss you tonight, even through a tissue. the thought of it sent him through a spiral ā€œare you okay with thisā€ he whispered to you, leaning closer to your ear.
you nodded with a smile, feeling a little giddy.
the both of you were the last pair. only 2 of 12 pairs had successfully caught the tissue between their lips. the other 10 just laughed the kiss of with a friendly slap on the arm.
you stood in front of charles, just a little bit shorter, and he stood in front of you as the host made their way in between. obviously all eyes were on the both of you.
you with charles leclerc.
ā€œoneā€¦ā€ you sucked in a breath ā€œtwoā€¦ā€ he shuffled on his feet and you both screwed your eyes shut ā€œthree!ā€ the tissue dropped and it hung on just on the bottom of both of your lips. the top part feeling electrified as you both stood the frozen in that position.
the whole roomā€™s cheers and shrieks were faded out and you both opened your eyes. you could only feel him and thoughts of him were swirling in your head.
he couldnā€™t think straight. your perfume was infiltrating his mind. your shaky hand was touching his elbow. and the clink of your red shoes as you stopped tiptoeing and took the tissue. ā€œwe said itā€™s enough guys! damn this is a new matchā€ the host chuckled as the pair laughed. he returned to his seat and pulled out your chair for you, holding up a thumbs up to make sure you were okay, and you were.
that night charles had the courage to text you.
ynslife
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liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 1,684 others tagged: charles_leclerc, and scuderiaferrari ynslife glad to have spent the season with such a fun team ā¤ļø
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charles_leclerc ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
[ liked by ynslife ]
user1 is that yn and charles in the last slide?!?
carlossainz55 I have an extra tissue if you need ā¤ļø
ā¤· ynslife ill be sure to shove it up your mouth!!
ā¤·carlossainz55 tranquila! calm down! user37 ynā€™s posts are just full of ferrari gratitude and red posts AHAHAH
[ liked by ynslife ]
scuderiaferrari šŸ¤§šŸ˜ā¤ļø
ynslife
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liked by charles_leclerc, and 1,338 others
ynslife SOMEONE had to physically hold me back from buying all the vogue issues šŸ˜ž
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carlossainz55 is she hard to hold back charles_leclerc ? :)
ā¤· charles_leclerc šŸ«„ ā€¦ yes
user48 how do you feel after being the vogue queen of ferrari with your fits? šŸŽ¤
ā¤· ynslife too tiring. have to dress up lil carlitos and charlie šŸ˜
ā¤· charles_leclerc hey!
charles_leclerc
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liked by 13,594,292 others
charles_leclerc Last 2023 picture dumpšŸ¤
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ynslife oh mygod
ynslife I GOT HARDLAUNCHED šŸ„¹
ynslife and now i have 100 angry girl dms šŸ¤Æ
ā¤· charles_leclerc Noooooo! guys stop:(
ynslife
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liked by charles_leclerc, and 183,383 others
ynslife back to work with the only dmer who matters ā¤ļø
view all 318,393 comments
charles_leclerc Can you answer me please, Amour šŸ„¹
ā¤· ynslife OOPS SORRY LOVEU
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queers-gambit Ā· 5 months ago
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Careful What You Wish For
prompt: he's highly reactive, you're incredibly enduring. he's a righteous dick, you're criminally empathetic. he's temperamental, you're amenable. but you're done being his doormat. -> or in which Billy resorts to breaking up when you two fight, but when he comes to make up (like clockwork), you finally have a change of heart.
pairing: Billy Hargrove x female!reader
fandom masterlist: Stranger Things
word count: 5k+
warnings: it's not much so don't expect a lot! author has Daddy Issuesā„¢ļø and you're gonna deal with it, cursing, drama for drama's sake, Billy Boy's trauma translates into a toxic relationship, feelings are hard, abrupt ending, angst, hurt not a lot of comfort; healthy parent relationship? wild.
and NO this is NOT influenced by Hoover's book / Blake's movie! i have NOT read the book nor seen the movie, so if you recognize similarities, it's 100% unintentional!
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To be reactive means to impulsively act upon circumstances instead of rationally considering situations that would asses a humane, clean, agreeable, "legal" response. To be reactive is exactly what it sounds like. It's reacting. It's not thinking, it's not being considerate or logical. It's being fueled by emotion, to be impulsive and rash. To be reactive was borderline selfish as the response is one-sided and results from only a single person's perspective.
Part of growing up is learning to handle your reactions; to absorb situations and consider the best possible option forward. Thing is, it's not a skill people could master in a day, week, month, year - it took a lot of time, focus, and constant, conscious dedication. People in high school were attempting to master this skill; people in college, their 20's - hell, there's even people in their 30's and 40's still trying to learn and perfect the ability to fucking handle their reactiveness.
So, in actuality, you couldn't fault Billy for being "this" way. It's not like he was doing it consciously, maliciously, or on purpose; he genuinely didn't know better and it's hard to unlearn lessons life taught you. Considering the environment he grew up in, you knew Billy stood absolutely no chance to learn and develop healthy coping mechanisms and forms of communication - but Christ, it was difficult to date him.
All romantic bullshit aside, Billy's attitude was increasingly concerning the further your relationship progressed. He required a lot of love and patience - of which, you had an abundance of and was happy to give. Yet that's the key word, abundance - NOT unlimited. He's sensitive, meaning easily irritated; damn near any and everything inconvenienced him. His mouth moved before his neurons could fire. He refused to compromise or admit defeat like Flat Earthers refuse scientific evidence. He would always choose throwing a fist over using his words. He embodied the cutting image of "bad boy", but he also lived it if his lack of manners and foul mouth was any indication. He was aloof, malcontent, egotistical, had the emotional intelligence of a fucking jellyfish, operated as an iron lock with a thrown-away key.
And Billy loves you. You knew, in his way, he loves you. But you also knew how hard it was for Billy to have any degree of emotion for any given reason. This meant more often than not, you worried his feelings for you were forced, or at the very least, ebbed and waned. Odd, isn't it? How his trauma causes a trauma response in you?
Billy was far from perfect, but you didn't need him perfect. You needed him to be loving, supportive, kind and caring, honest, empathetic... All things nobody would EVER think of when trying to describe Billy.
Yet you two worked. Polar opposites; two ends of the spectrum; a flowery romance novel and a doomed tragedy.
You used to think he was the ebony ink and you, the pure snow in the Yin and Yang symbol - or a taijitu. He was dark and brooding and abused and hateful - but with you, as that single dot of white, he felt balanced. You're bright, blinding, glittering, passionate - and with Billy, he added that speck of darkness (or realism) to your purity.
Sure, this could mean literally since you lost your virginity to him within a couple months of dating, but more so in the sense that Billy's pessimism was darkening your optimism; almost as if he was pouring water from your glass into his to force you to see your glass (read: reality) as half empty. It was as if he was corrupting you. Yet perhaps not in the sense we all might think - like he takes you to party all weekend, blow off school, engage in sketchy or concerning or dangerous activities, experiment with drugs and sexual positions that border on acrobatic. His corruption was more along the lines of draining you; where you were once bright and happy, so excited to love and be loved, to live life; you're now just tired and passive and accepting.
Billy wasn't easy to love. When you first started dating, it felt like a challenge - winning him over. You were determined to prove yourself ideal, capable, and willing to endure him and all his (and his family's) antics. Yet as time passed, you fell so deeply in love with him that you didn't even remember why you first kept coming back for more. He was intoxicating; he invades any space and commandeers not just attention, but leadership and control.
Billy was the flame. You, the moth. Yet eventually, fires will die. They will not burn forever. Whether from a lack of oxygen, wood, or something like the wind snuffs it, no flame ever endures forever. And now, the flame was dying and you were finding lesser reason to linger around dwindling warmth.
You see, there's only SO much a person can take. Being so reactive, fighting with Billy is fucking clockwork. It's eerily like a science the way you two will always fight when one of you has the realization, "Wow, things are SO peaceful and SO nice right now!" Naturally, because God (or karma, the universe, whoever) had a sense of humor, would choose that moment to cause issue.
Fights with Billy were usually sparked by something decently simple - like you being paired with Jason Carver for a tutoring session, or taking an extra 10 minutes in the shower after your sports practice, or telling him, "Sorry, I can't go out Friday, baby, I told the Wheeler's I'd babysit." This would cause Billy to spiral. Akin to a ripe, seasonal Kansas tornado.
Fights with Billy usually got personal, and since you knew and trusted one another so well, there was plenty of ammunition. Insults were hurled for an unGodly amount of time, but it was because Billy loved pulling loose threads to watch everything unravel.
Fights with Billy usually ended in a single, consistent manner: with him breaking up with you. Oh, it was infuriating! Billy had both fight and flight instincts - you know, from being so reactive - that he was all for throwing a punch, but when it came to real accountability or resolution, he'd flee; never caring about who he might hurt in the process. He'd engage his "fight" response, and then turn around and "flee", only to return later and resume fighting! Talk about fucking whiplash! Billy was like a wrecking ball, and if you were gonna fight, he was gonna make sure he was ready for it.
This fight was no different.
You can't even remember why it started, but it did and now, you sat on the front porch stairs of your family home, head bowed into your arms while silently weeping. Was it sadness? Was it despair? Acceptance? Frustration? Defeat? Was it anger that made you cry? Were these tears of humor? Disbelief? Exhaustion?
Perhaps all of the above at once.
"Look, I just think we need to take a break. From each other."
You held your breath, rolling your lips between your teeth and slowly looking up at the boy you loved and hated most in this world. Billy was standing at the bottom of the stairs, one arm propped on the freshly painted wooden bannister to hold his balance; watching you with mild remorse, mostly neutrality. You smirked mirthlessly, nodding, "Right, okay."
Billy scoffed, ash falling from the end of his lit cigarette, asking, "Really not gon' say nothin'? Don't wanna fight or argue 'bout this?"
"Why bother, Billy?" You snipped, wiping your tears. "You do this every time. Fuck's sake, it's like something gets a little hard or inconvenient and we break-up."
He scoffed, "Yeah?"
"Mhm."
"Well, maybe this is the last time, sweetheart."
You just sighed, "Okay, Bee. I'm gonna go in, you kinda interrupted movie night to do this. So, now that you have, cool if I go in? Great, get home safe." You stood without waiting for his answer, turning for the front door and immediately seeking refuge inside. You locked the doorknob, then the deadbolt, and just for dramatic flare, latched the chain, too.
Using the sleeves of your shirt, you dried your face.
"Who was that, honey?" Your mother asked as you entered the dark living room, sighing as you dropped into your spot on the sofa; taking your little sister in arms as she settled on your chest once more.
"Just Billy."
"Oh, he didn't want to come in?"
"No, Mama, he had to go."
"Shame," she sighed, "I thought he would like this movie."
You only hummed, draping a thin blanket over you and your sister. "Pops. Hey, hey," you whispered, hand out, wiggling your foot into your father's thigh, "dad, hey. Daddy." Without looking, he handed over the bowl of popcorn mixed with Peanut M&M's and jumped when the sound boomed and the screen flashed with blinding action.
No matter how hard you tried, you couldn't focus on the heavy Austrian accent of the time traveling Terminator. Your head repeated the argument with Billy; how it had now spanned over several days and he had the audacity to knock at your door tonight, interrupting the week-standing movie night he KNEW your family participated in, and proceeded to break-up with you - AGAIN!
Yet something felt so fucking different this time.
You weren't sad by this "break-up" (yet) because you knew he was just being reactive and sensitive, but something didn't sit right about tonight. Your parents both worked incredibly long hours at tedious, stressful jobs, but they were very firm that every Thursday night was movie night - and Billy knew this. He knew where you were every Thursday. He knew better than to interrupt, he knew this time together was sacred since your parents worked so frequently but also actually seemed to like family time.
So, he chose tonight as the best time to initiate this break? Your heart hammered as you began to convince yourself this was a malicious move; he knowingly came to your house to inflict emotional turmoil when you were with family. It was deliberate, it was a manipulative power move; knowing he had such a hold on you that even during your beloved family time of bonding, despite being in a fight, you would still receive him; still come back to him.
Angry tears coated your eyes as Sarah Connor fought for her life. Where Billy was always highly reactive, being the eldest daughter, you were resilient and enduring; able to handle anything thrown your way. You were rational, decently calm; able to think through a storm, being only motivated by the sight of the sun. Billy had a bad attitude, he was arrogant, his ego inflated by the small town girls all drooling over him, but it was his abuse and lack of coping ability that made him into a righteous dick. Perhaps that was why he was attracted to you, being so empathetic and understanding that it bordered on criminal - especially with the way it slowly drained you of life. Billy was temperamental, angry and hurt by the world; and you were amenable, agreeable - not a pushover, but similar to water in the sense that you could adapt and conform to any space, shape, or circumstance you're put in (willingly or not).
Something in your gut finally clicked.
You're done being his doormat. Loving Billy was dismantling you brick by brick; he thought because you were so accepting and understanding that he could act anyway he wanted, get away with it, and you'd always forgive him. You'd always take him back. He could rip your heart out of your chest, crush it into dust, and you'd still thank him when he sprinkles it in your hands - because at least he did that. At least he gave you a sprinkle. You were supposed to be grateful - never-minding that he was the one who continuously hurt you in the first place.
Your eyes drifted from the television to your mother and father sat together at the far end of the couch. 20 years married, and they still sat together like high school teens; his arm around her shoulders, kept close, sharing snacks, a throw blanket cocooning their legs. They were so gentle with one another; relying majorly on nonverbal communication, like when there's a jump scare, your father's thumb would sweep over the back of your mother's hand resting on his lap. It was a grounding technique you have long taken note of, but seeing it now just made you sad.
The desire to have a relationship like your parents was strong, but what was even stronger was simply setting a good example for your sister. You'd be devastated if you ever learned she dated a man like Billy; who put her through the emotional wringer for no direct or good reason. You thought you'd tell her it wasn't her job to fix anyone; it wasn't her responsibility or burden to help mold a boy into a man. Your heart would shatter if you learned she was like you - crying to sleep, throwing towels over all mirrors to avoid any reflection, walking on eggshells in an effort to keep the peace you weren't even charged with!
Watching her eyes glittering in the glow of the action movie, you knew what you had to do. If you didn't practice what you preached, you had no true leg to stand on; your words become contradictory, your concerns warped by perspective. You didn't want her to look at your parents, then at you and Billy, and think someone was wrong - or that love was somewhere in between your relationship examples. You wanted her to know love wasn't supposed to hurt, and if you needed her to understand that she deserved the best of the best, you needed to walk the walk that you talked.
Blinking back tears, you resigned yourself to forcing the feeling of contentment; hugging your sister closer, relishing the feeling of your father's warmth against the bottom of your feet where they laid. And as if he could read your mind, your father mutely kept his one arm around your mother, the other laying on your ankle; glancing over to catch your eye and offer a small, soft smile before focusing on the movie again.
You pecked your sister's forehead quickly, whispering, "You okay, Bug?"
"Uh-huh."
"Not too scared?"
"No," she answered, completely entranced by the television.
"Sure?"
"Uh-huh. Can you pause it?" She asked your father, who almost instantly reached for the remote to hit pause. Your sister jumped up and rushed from the living room before quickly doubling back to hang in the doorway, "I'll be back." Then she dipped behind the wall, only to pop back out a second later and punctuate, "With weapons!"
The living room was full of boisterous laughter as she scampered off to the bathroom.
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There was a gentle knock at your closed bedroom door, head lifting from the lowered crane it unconsciously drooped into while reading the novel on your lap. With a grimace, you rubbed your neck and called, "Come in!"
"Hey, honey," your father spoke softly, poking his head in, "got a second?"
"Yeah, sure, Daddy, c'min."
He offered a small smile and entered at full, shutting the door behind him and confirming what you sensed - this was sure to be a serious conversation. He sat gingerly at the foot of your bed, heaving a great sigh, asking, "Whatcha readin'?"
"Oh, uh, just," you showed him the cover of your book, "it's for school, I have to write a report on it."
"Is it interesting?"
"It has a good message," you allotted, making him snicker. "I'm trying to be nice!"
"Uh-huh," he nodded, sighing again. "Listen, honey, I just wanted to talk to you about... You know, Billy."
"We use condoms, Daddy, and I'm on birth control."
"While that's great and exactly what every father wants to hear," he whined, "that's not what I meant."
"Oh," you sat up, book marked and set aside, "you mean tonight?"
"Yeah."
You shrugged, "It's not that big of a deal."
"You sure?"
"I got a handle on things, Daddy."
"I don't know if I can believe that, honey," he frowned, dimples on display, "because - you've - you're just..." He paused, shaking his head, "Your mother and I are worried about you. You're different since dating Billy and it's hard to ignore. I know it might not be comfortable to talk about, but you know you can always come to us, right?"
You nodded, "I know, Daddy."
"Good. 'Cause, he's 18, right?"
"I'm almost afraid to answer that, but yes...?"
Your father nodded, "Good, so I can legally kick his ass."
"Being friends with Hopper helps."
"Damn straight," he confirmed. "You sure everything's okay?"
"Yeah, we just broke up."
"What!?"
"Daddy, chill," you chuckled, "we do this every few weeks."
"Oh, Jesus - "
"But it's the last time!"
"Well, how can you be sure?"
"'Cause I deserve better."
The sigh your father released was out of relief, musing, "Goddamn right you do! Good girl!" He leaned in to peck your forehead quickly, patting your leg. "Well, I'll let you get back to reading..."
"Hang on," you halted him, feeling your heart lurch, "can I ask you something?"
"Anything, kid."
"Do you... not... like Billy?"
"Well, now that I know you two break up every few weeks, less so."
"Daddy."
He nodded, "I thought he was an all right kid, and you never had an ill word to say about him. But he was always kinda troubled, something about him always made me a little suspicious. Is there reason I shouldn't like him...?"
You stared at your father for several long seconds, both with varying expressions as you tried to telepathically communicate. When you understood his meaning, you blanched, "Wait - woah - hey - what!? No! No, Daddy!" You groaned, "Jesus, no! Billy's - Billy's troubled, yes, but he's not abusive or aggressive - not with me! I swear!"
"I'm sorry, I just - I needed to be sure! There's no easy way to ask these things, you know?"
"I know," you nodded, "and I appreciate you checking, but I promise, I'm okay, Billy's not like that. He's abrasive, yes, but he's still respectful."
"Noted," your father breathed, "that's actually relieving. So, uh... Am I supposed to bring you ice cream? Or rent some romcoms? This is your first break-up and I'm not sure what to do."
Your eyes rolled lightly, "Not yet, but keep that energy for when the emotions really set in."
"I'll stock up after work tomorrow," he promised.
"You're... Home this weekend?"
"Your mother and I thought for the next couple months, we'll take a break from conferences," he grinned, "spend some time with our favorite girls. Maybe even take a family vacation this summer!"
You grinned, "You mean it?"
"Of course!"
You launched into his embrace with a laugh, both full of mirth and amusement. Instead of leaving, your father actually situated comfortably on your bed and listened to your read your book - reminding him of the days he read you bedtime stories. He eyed the essay prompt your teacher had passed out with his listening ears on, and when there was a quote or relevant detail he thought related to your thesis, he made sure to speak up.
It was the most at-peace you've felt in ages.
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"Bug! You have exactly 90 seconds to get down here!" You hollered into the house, walking out the front door while storing your novel in your book bag. Turning forward, you gasped when you nearly ran into Billy - standing before you, fresh as a fucking daisy. "Jesus Christ, Billy, you scared me," you scolded, keys jangling.
"Sorry," he muttered, sighing, hands going to his back pockets, "didn't think you'd be comin' out so quick."
"We gotta catch the bus," you told him, turning to holler again into the open door, "BUG! LET'S GO!"
"Why? You know I normally drive you two."
"Yeah, but we broke-up last night, Bee, didn't think you'd wanna play taxi driver still."
"It's not bein' a taxi - "
"You live on the other side of town," you scoffed, "my house is literally out of your way. So, don't feed me that line." You could see Max leaning on the passenger door from where Billy's Camaro was parked on the street, waving to her; watching her grin and wave back. "What're you doin' here?" You asked him pointedly.
"Look, I know we argued and I got a little mouthy, but I was just pissed off and reacted poorly. But I slept on it, and I'm sorry for what I said. Can we please just try to move on?"
You scoffed, "Billy, you do this so often, I can't keep up anymore. Your insecurity isn't your fault, you're not to be crucified for it, but I can't be your punching bag. You can't lose your cool and yell and get 'mouthy', break up with me, run away for me to deal with shit, and then come back the next day. So, I appreciate the offer, but Bug and I are gonna catch the bus 'cause... Because..."
"Because why, baby?" He asked, voice hazy and thick.
"Because you should really be careful what you wish for, Billy, you might just get it. I think we should honor this break-up."
"What?" Billy breathed in earnest confusion. "No, hold up - "
"Billy, I'm sorry, I am. You know I love you - "
"So you're breaking up with me, 'cause you love me?"
"You're the one who broke up with me, Billy," you reminded, "and yes, I do love you, but I have to love me, too. I can't do them simultaneously, it seems."
"Of course you can - "
"Loving you means disrespecting myself," you told him. "Every time I come back to you, I'm chipping away at who I am. You and I - we used to be so good for each other, Bee. Remember? But now? You're just on this warpath and I refuse to be a casualty. So, yes, I love you, I love you so much, but I don't think we should be together anymore. I need time alone, to breathe and figure out who I am outside of you - and you obviously need time to process and get your shit together. If we stay together, we're only gonna hurt each other. But apart, we can freely move and improve and curate change without risk of harm to the other."
You both just stared at one another, the sound of thundering footsteps heard from behind you. "Bee!" Your sister squealed when she rushed out the door.
"Hey, Bug!" He beamed, bending to scoop her in his arms - just like she wanted. "Woah, woah, woah - when did you get such cool shoes, kid?" He asked her, holding her ankle to show off her tie-dye canvas shoes.
"Daddy got them! Aren't they cool!?"
"So cool."
"Do you want a pair? We can match!"
Billy smirked, setting her on her feet, "Tell you what, Bug, if you can find a pair my size, I'll match with'cha, yeah?"
"I'll tell Daddy!" She gasped, turning to look up at you. "Can we ride with Billy to school?"
"Not to - "
"'Course, kid, c'mon," Billy cut you off, and it was like you never even opened your mouth with the way your sister bounded down the porch, over the yard, and towards Max.
"Billy," you grumbled.
"You really wanna break the kid's heart this early in the day?" He asked, sighing and offering his hand. "C'mon, just until the end of today - she'll have the weekend to process."
"You know we're not a married couple getting a divorce and Bug is our kid?" You grumbled, slapping your hand into his and allowing him to lead you towards his car; where his sister was settling yours in the backseat.
"Might as well be."
"You're dramatic."
He only hummed, opening your passenger door and waiting until you were inside safely before shutting the door. You greeted Max happily in the backseat, Billy getting in the driver's and pulling off safely - slowly - to start towards the elementary school. While the middle and high school conveniently shared a lot, the elementary school was just a couple streets over. Bug was excited to tell the car all about her upcoming "field day", where the entire school participated in these outside courses, doing various physical activities - it was all good, honest fun.
"What team were you on?" Bug asked Max. "I'm on the Blue Team!" She proudly pulled out the bottom of her shirt; showing off the color. "We won last year, too!"
"Woah! That's so cool, you gonna win again this year?" Max asked.
"Uh-huh! Did your team win?"
"We didn't have field day."
"What?" Bug asked, sounding heartbroken.
"They didn't go to school here, Bug," you told her from the passenger seat, "they lived in California. Remember?"
Bug frowned, "You didn't get to play?"
"We had other activities," Max assured, "we just didn't have a whole day of it - your school sounds so cool!"
"You should come!" Bug gasped. "Today! You and Bee should come! Then you could have field day, too!"
Your heart melted listening to Max tell her why she and Billy couldn't - but that she needed Bug to pay extra close, extra special attention to the games so they could all play together later in their very own field day. You didn't have the heart to halt the plans, to tell Bug why that wouldn't be happening.
You felt Billy's eyes on you periodically through the drive, sisters in the back discussing what California was like. Bug was fascinated by the beaches - having never been - and asked all kinds of questions, nearly exploding in excitement when she learned Billy knew how to surf. You knew it was a source of anxiety for him; you knew Billy associated surfing with his mother and that ever since she left, he couldn't ride the waves. He wouldn't. It hurt too bad to look back on shore and miss that bright smile, yellow blonde hair he inherited, loose, free-flowing dress, and floppy straw hat.
Yet talking to Bug, he seemed relatively at ease.
From the back, Max watched as you, who hadn't so much as looked at Billy since he got in the car, reached over for his hand to hold in silent support. He held on tightly.
"All right, Bug," you called when Billy pulled up to the elementary school, getting out to pull the seat forward and assist her out.
"Bye, Max!" She hugged the redhead, then lunged between the seats, "Bye, Billy!"
She clamored out of the car, Billy fixing the seat for you as you knelt on the sidewalk and helped fix her backpack. "You good?" You checked, smirking at her.
"Uh-huh."
"Good. Listen, we'll take the bus home today, okay? Billy's got practice, so, remember - it's bus 104. Got it?"
"Bus 104."
"That's right, good girl. You get on bus 104, it'll take you to the high school and pick me up. All right?"
She took a deep breath, nodding, "I can do this."
"I know you can, Bug. All right, big hug!" You hummed as she wrapped her wee arms around your neck. "Oooooh! All right! That's good stuff!" She pulled back. "Have the best day, Bug. Love you."
"Love you," she messily pecked your cheek before rushing to join the procession of streaming kiddies. You stood straight and dusted off, sliding back into Billy's car, and once clear of the children, let his lead foot drop on the gas and speed into the school lot.
"Jesus," Max grumbled when the car swung into a parking space, "inna rush or something?"
"Just," Billy sighed deeply, shaking his head, "get out. You," he pointed at you, "stay put, we gotta talk." You remained, wishing Max a good day, watching her climb out of the car with her skateboard. As the redhead rode off for the middle school, Billy dropped back into his seat, slammed his door, and lit a cigarette with slightly trembling hands.
Silence echoed between you both, Billy handing over the cigarette mutely; students, peers, and faculty all milled around the Camaro to head into school. Smoke wafted from the rolled down windows. When time, the butt was tossed out and the silence remained.
"Bee," you whispered finally.
"I'm just..." He trailed, sighing, "Trying to savor this. Don't know when I'm gonna have you this close again."
He took your hand gently and stroked it with his thumb, emotion heavy in both your chests. "It's not like we're not gonna see each other again," you whispered.
"Not in the way I want."
"It's not like I want this, either."
"Then why're you doing this?"
You scoffed gently, "It's not me doing a damn thing, Billy, you've already done it all. I'm just holding you to your word because I know how fearful you are of commitment." You tossed his hand to his lap and grabbed your bag, reaching for the door handle, then pausing. "For the record," you ended softly, "I'm sorry, and I love you. I hope you find what you're looking for, Bee."
As you finally climbed from the sports car and into school, you felt like you were breathing air for the first time. Like you were feeling sunshine after a decade underground, like there were springs in your sneakers; vigor in your blood, optimism misting your mind into new possibilities. Yet, behind you, in a navy blue Camaro, Billy loosed two tears before tearing out of the parking lot in a fit of anger. Rage. Sadness. Desperation.
He wasn't seen at school the following week, but by the next weekend, rumors spread that he hooked up with both Allison Scott and Kimberly Jones at Donald Reefer's weekend party - so, you know, he seemed to be handling this break up well. It was what he wanted, after all.
And you? Let's just say, you were finally happy, healthy, feeling confident, rejuvenated, and ready to move forward and ONLY accept that which you KNOW you deserve.
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requesting rules and masterlist
Stranger Things masterlist
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thedaythatwas Ā· 5 days ago
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on nagito komaeda and love
I just think itā€™s sort of funny that for a character whose (arguably) most well-recognized CG is this:Ā 
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komaedaā€™s narrative so heavily centers love. and I donā€™t just say this because Iā€™ve had komahina brainrot for years (though this is true!!). even if you donā€™t care about komahina, itā€™s tough to deny komaeda is a walking tragedy in large part because of the role that love plays in his life. his characterization is driven by the way his luck has denied him love, and how he seeks it out regardless. in that sense, I think that without understanding komahina as at least one-sided, you miss out on one of the juiciest, most miserable pieces of komaedaā€™s character development.
tldr; a love-centered reading of komaeda makes sense, recognizing komahina as ā€œa thingā€ in DR2 (whether you ship it or not) is pretty important to understanding how komaeda operates, and Iā€™ll try to prove it right here under this page break!!
Part 1: Komaedaā€™s Love Life (or, his life without love)
I think itā€™s safe to assume that if you clicked here, you know about komaedaā€™s absurdly miserable, tumultuous childhood, but Iā€™ll do a quick recap just in case! meteor kills his parents on a plane, he inherits a ton of money. heā€™s kidnapped by a serial killer, he finds a winning lottery ticket in the garbage bag heā€™s thrown out in. heā€™s diagnosed with terminal cancer and dementia, he gets into hopeā€™s peak.
in his free time events, komaeda *explicitly* frames his luck cycle as something that takes away the people he loves. it only ā€œtakes actionā€ against him after his relatives have died (for the sake of this essay, letā€™s assume that komaeda loved his parents, or would have at least been hurt by their passing). by way of other close connectionsā€¦ well, his wording here implies that by the time of his diagnosis, he didnā€™t really have anybody in his life.Ā 
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either komaeda didnā€™t allow himself to get close to anyone after the meteor incident, or he did, and they were taken away by his luck. at some point during his childhood, komaeda learned he should view himself as a death sentence.
so, how does this loss of love shape the komaeda we know? Iā€™ll talk about this in terms of four of his defining (and connected!) traits in DR2 canon ā€“ the ones that really make his actions make sense: his self-loathing, his hope-seeking, his learned helplessness, and his certainty that his existence poses a threat to those around him. komaedaā€™s experience with loss makes him view himself as a source of death, which in turn fuels these tenets of his character. ultimately, his loss and the complexes that arise from it give him good incentive to push people away.
his self-loathing
komaeda hates himself. he views himself as worthless outside of his potential to serve as a ā€œstepping stoneā€ for the hope of the ultimates. he claims that this is driven by his beliefs around talent, which are in turn linked to the way his worldview rests on viewing hope as ā€œabsolute good.ā€ the talentless (himself included) are only good for advancing the hope of the talented. still, his self-loathing is a bit more personal than that. take what he says and dig just below the surface, and itā€™s a clean cut trauma response all the way down. which leads us directly toā€¦
his hope-seeking
komaeda is willing to do literally anything to serve hope. on the island, this (in short) means dying. this is where I prod at komaedaā€™s reasoning a bit more: komaedaā€™s willingness to act the way he does in canon also stems from his belief that his dying would be a net good for the world. his existence kills the people around him. his illness will kill him anyway. he has less than no value, and hope is invaluable. to go out for the sake of hope would give his wretched life purpose; itā€™s his dream come true.
and itā€™s no mystery why komaeda cares so much about hope: again, itā€™s a coping mechanism! komaedaā€™s belief that all bad luck is a necessary precursor for good luck and that hope will always triumph over despair is (as he himself says!) the only reason heā€™s managed to stay alive. Iā€™ll say it again because I really canā€™t emphasize it enough ā€“Ā komaeda thinks that just by existing, he kills the people he loves. ouch!
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learned helplessness / his existence as a threat
komaeda has, essentially, learned to submit to his luck cycle. all bad luck is good luck in the end ā€“ isnā€™t that amazing?! almost paradoxically, heā€™s hyper-vigilant about the negative impact his luck has on those around him. this is a tricky one. I make sense of it this way: komaedaā€™s perception of how much his luck impacts the people close to him isnā€™t inflated, like, at all. the supernatural way the world bends around komaeda to screw him over really does pose a danger to himself and others, and he takes measures to minimize that danger. his stated acceptance of his luck cycle isā€¦ well, again, heā€™s coping.Ā 
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if komaeda really thought that all bad luck is ultimately good luck, he wouldnā€™t try to protect his classmates from his bad luck. but, as we see in island mode, he does!
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but really, who could blame komaeda for lying to himself? Iā€™ll restate the facts. komaeda thinks that luck is absolute power. he says that heā€™s powerless against it. his luck has taken his family, and itā€™s left him with nothing but money that he doesnā€™t want. heā€™s certain heā€™s a curse, and thereā€™s no end to that in sight: so long as komaeda exists, heā€™ll keep on losing ā€“ murdering ā€“ everything he loves.Ā 
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in the face of all of that despair, what can you do but abandon your self-esteem and pray for something good to come out of all of it? how else could somebody possibly survive carrying that burden, truly believing that load will never be lightened?
tldr; komaeda thinks his existence is a threat, and a big chunk of his personality is a frankensteined way of surviving the pain that comes with that. still, we should question how much of his worldview komaeda has really internalized without inner conflict.Ā 
Part 2: Enter Hajime Hinata
we get some answers on that front when we see that despite the clear and obvious danger it poses, nagito komaeda still finds himself falling hard for hajime hinata. thatā€™s really, really loud.
Iā€™ll preface this part by saying that you donā€™t need to actively ship komahina to understand what Iā€™m trying to get at here. this said, Iā€™ll be recapping an argument youā€™ve almost definitely seen before: komahina is definitely ā€œa thingā€ ā€“Ā at the very least as a one-sided thing. to this, Iā€™ll add the (perhaps bold?) claim that without recognizing that much as true, youā€™re missing out on a big part of what makes komaeda so interesting.
komaedaā€™s FTEs make it abundantly clear that komaeda has feelings for hinata. apart from his famed failed love confession, the fact that komaeda is willing to allow hinata to get close enough to learn about his views on hope and luck is telling.Ā 
(the smoking gun here hinges on trusting that komaeda was telling the truth during the time you spent with him; in so many words, that he only lied about lying. so, for the sake of argument, letā€™s assume this is true! thereā€™s good proof for it, anyway.)
if you read his final FTE as komaeda flashing his soul to hinata and making a decision at the very last second to retreat, turning to old coping mechanisms to protect hinata from his luck, itā€™s sort of a komahina bombshell. that capitulation spells out for us that komaeda understands sharing his life experiences with hinata to be one of the most intimate things he could possibly do.
he recognizes the exact moment he lets hinata get too close ā€“Ā when his life story is finally told ā€“Ā and he does what heā€™s learned he needs to do to get them both out of that situation safely: he tries to make hinata hate him, and tells himself (and hinata!) that he did it for the sake of hope.
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(and yet, komaeda let hinata approach him every FTE, knowing damn well that they were both playing with fireā€¦ very interesting.)
now, letā€™s say you donā€™t consider the FTEs to be integral to canon. I mean, you can really easily miss out on all of komaedaā€™s content if you choose not to hang out with him in chapter 1! so, for the skeptic, in the unskippable main story, komaeda tells hinata this:
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komaeda cares about hinata despite everything. and I really, truly mean despite everything. at this point in the story, the fact that he still cares about hinata calls into question basically every single one of his core beliefs. heā€™s read his final dead room prize ā€“ not only does hinata not have a talent, we can presume that komaeda also knows hinata became ultimate despair along with the rest of them.Ā 
hinata has continually sought out komaedaā€™s company, even though komaeda knows himself to be worthless at best, lethal at worst. komaeda was willing to let him get closer, even though he knows how dangerous that is for hinata. he canā€™t help but let hinata try to know him.Ā 
isnā€™t he awful? to want what he knows he canā€™t have, even though that wanting has never done anything but cause pain? heā€™s really the lowest of the low, to love someone who destroyed the world, who makes him question the views that will allow him to do the only good thing heā€™s ever been able to do for it: to die for hope.Ā 
and yet, itā€™s a nod to how incredibly capable of love komaeda is that heā€™s still willing to reach out for it, no matter how many times itā€™s burned him in the past, and how much it hurts him in the present to want it. he understands more than anyone that his feelings can only result in disaster. reading komaeda as someone who canā€™t help but go on loving anyway makes his story hurt so much worse.Ā 
but, you miss a whole lot of that without an eye for komahina. seeing hinata as the eye of komaedaā€™s emotional hurricane (and keeping tabs on their connection accordingly) allows us to glimpse past the cracks in komaedaā€™s front. we see that komaedaā€™s worldview is less stable than he presents it as ā€“Ā hinata is where komaedaā€™s coping mechanisms, for better or worse, run up against a wall. that tends to be uncomfortable for a guy whoā€™s just barely coping in the first place. then again, growth is supposed to be uncomfortable, isnā€™t it?
Part 3: The Future He Chooses
so, all of this considered, I think one of the most interesting ways you can flesh komaeda out post-canon is by asking how heā€™d find himself willing to accept love. whether that love is from hinata or the ultimates, whether itā€™s platonic or romantic, love is the thing that komaeda wants AND fears in equal measure more than anything. itā€™s the source of his self-loathing and his obsession with hope. itā€™s the reason heā€™s lived the way that he has for so long ā€“ lonely, and afraid of being anything but.
getting into a relationship wouldnā€™t solve komaedaā€™s problems for him, and thatā€™s a good thing.Ā it would force him to confront old ones, and probably create dozens of new issues for him, too. writing him through that makes for great character study!
hinata (or anyone else, for that matter) canā€™t love komaeda into loving himself, but he can give him a shoulder to cry on while he works through 22 years of fear and sorts through the wreckage of a worldview thatā€™s long since stopped serving him. I donā€™t think his progress would be linear. but, I think that he could do it. komaeda learning to accept care is what his healing looks like.Ā 
(well. and physically recovering from cancer and dementia. but thatā€™s neither here nor there!)
a post-canon komaeda learning to love narrative is also in line with the themes of DR2. hinata leads the survivors out of the neo world program because he makes the decision to choose his own future, creating a new version of ā€œhopeā€ for himself and his classmates. likewise, komaeda can make the decision to save himself. that is, if he trusts himself enough to actually touch and hold the thing that heā€™s never been able to stop reaching out for, anyway.
after all, hinata is lucky too. (and if it turns out he isnā€™tā€¦ y'all like angst fics, right?)
(shoutout to @cynopter for looking this over and confirming that I'm not spouting nonsense <33 thank you for reading my thesis of the week <33)
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crj-200 Ā· 2 months ago
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PSA for anyone tending aircraft!!!!!!!
The FDA, CDC, and FAA have identified a HUGE uptick in cases of PS in Boeing planes over the past 3 months, with 737s being the most vulnerable to critical symptoms and autoimmune complications after infection.
For those who don't know, PS (Pteroium saprosis, also known as Boeing's Flap, Wing Rot, or Aileron Disease) is an autoimmune condition that can develop as a result of a fungal infection of the plane's dermal layer of skin, caused by the Sapromyces fungus native to North America. The condition causes the dermis to weaken and die, which in turn leads to chunks of tissue rotting and falling off of the wing, further infections, and potential death. This condition is not curable and can be very quickly fatal when not managed properly. Currently, the best we can do to treat this is to replace components as they decay. [X]
While most aircraft will experience very few (if any) symptoms of infection if caught early, aircraft that do not receive treatment or become highly symptomatic regardless of treatment are at extreme risk of developing the condition. Extreme risk meaning 93 out of 100 highly symptomatic planes will get PS.
There is no commercial vaccine currently available. Right now the University of Washington's AiRR (Aerozoology in Research and Rehabilitation) Zoo is in the process of developing one that looks promising, but it won't be available to the public until at least 2032. If you want to support the AiRR Zoo's research you can donate here.
How can you limit exposure and keep your plane safe?
Test your aircraft DAILY.
If a positive case is found, the infected aircraft must be immediately quarantined and be seen by a medical/mechanical professional within 24 hours of the first positive test. Outside of this window, it's 3x more likely your aircraft will develop the disorder. [X]
Clean bedding every other day at MINIMUM.
The fungal spores that cause Boeing's Flap thrive in areas that attract dampness, dust, and waste, making your aircraft's hangar bedding an ideal place for it to spread. Replacing or cleaning their bedding every two days drastically cuts down the amount of fungi in the hangar at any time. The International Civil Aerozoology Committee identified this as a "best practice" when handling sick and recovering aircraft in any setting. [X]
Watch what goes in their mouth.
The top way aircraft get exposed to the fungi is from chewing on fallen tree limbs and shedded car parts. If you see ANYTHING in their mouth while they're outside, TAKE IT OUT. I know a lot of aircraft like to gnaw and will get upset by this, but this could ultimately save their life.
Bring your aircraft with you.
If you're able, keep your aircraft near you at all times to monitor what they're getting into. Check if your employer has an ACI/WO (AirCraft In/Worker Out) policy that provides either a plane-friendly workplace for you to bring your aircraft to work for health monitoring, or allows you to work and monitor your aircraft from home. Not every employer will have this, unfortunately. You are able to use AMLA (AeroMedical Leave) to care for sick aircraft, but a lot of requirements need to be met: the type/infectiousness/severity of illness, living within 30 miles of a commercial airport, and your status as their legal owner. Note that this doesn't apply for preventative care, just the care and maintenance of already sick aircraft.
ANYWAYS I know this post got super long but PLEASE spread this so more people are aware. Any aircraft lost to PS is too many, and if this spreads to working planes the results could be catastrophic. Keep your critters safe guys <3
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postcrashcurly Ā· 1 month ago
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A short list of Jimmy headcanons I've been tinkering with for a bit. CW: OCD and Hoarding Behavior, Trichophagia, Body Image, and a lot of other triggers tbh it's far too long to list just prepare for anything.
One. On earth, Jimmy has a hoarding problem that stems from not having a lot as a kid. His dad was physically abusive and his mom was emotionally absent, so he wasn't allowed any privacy, personal belongings, or comfort objects. So as an adult he keeps EVERYTHING. Every single birthday card, every receipt, boxes, old clothes, certain food wrapping items and empty cans. It's chaos but it's somewhat organized, and piles move around here and there. It's not necessarily *gross* in the traditional sense. There is no rats or roaches or anything like that- its just overwhelming to the outside observer. It has the potential to be much worse depending.
He compulsively reorganizes his belongings but he'll be sent into a blind rage if he feels he's lost something. Piles move back and forth from the living room and bed room. Certain objects of interest are always within eye-shot, specifically things like gifts or photos. He has a particular affinity towards gift-cards and enjoys the elaborate designs (even though he pretends he doesn't).
Jimmy gets incredibly defensive when anyone offers to help him clean up or move things around and worries greatly that someone may steal from him. The only person who's ever seen the inside of his place is Curly, and he's also the only person Jimmy has ever left unattended in his home. Every so often Curly is able to nudge him to pack things in different areas so it isn't such a fire hazard (because of the hoarding, Jimmy has a massive fear of house fires and losing his things), and so he can have better access to rooms.
The only "clean" areas are the kitchen and bathroom, and they are remarkably clean. This is something Curly doesn't understand but doesn't really bother to question because he knows Jimmy needs to have things a certain way.
Two. As a child Jimmy developed really poor coping mechanisms to deal with his home life. He used to eat his own hair, and because of this his parents always had his hair cut as short as possible. This is why he keeps it long as an adult, and even though he doesn't eat/swallow it anymore he likes to suck and bite on the ends sometimes when he's self-soothing.
Three. Jimmy struggles with his body image and isn't quite sure what he looks like. If you asked him to draw a picture of himself, it wouldn't resemble him well. He feels that he looks much smaller, weaker, and uglier than he really is, for which he overcompensates. This also means he is a lot rougher when making physical contact with people.
It is also why a lot of his clothes are ill fitting.
Four. Jimmy loved cats when he was younger. When he was a kid he used sneak around his parents to feed them dinner leftovers. He was particularly close with a little tabby that cried at his bedroom window every night and he'd always sneak out to pet her. His father grew sick of the strays hanging around the property and put out poisoned food, which unfortunately took out his tabby. To this day, he blames himself for making the cats comfortable enough to take food from his house.
Five. Jimmy has experimented with many drugs and had mostly positive experiences with them. He's particularly fond of Kratom.
Six. Jimmy doesn't try to understand people, he only learns what they expect of him and changes his approach depending on the person. Everyone is so vastly different that he struggles to keep up appearances with most people, so he often latches onto one person (Curly) and puts most of his energy into that.
Seven. Jimmy is the type to give up a hobby if he isn't good at it right off the bat.
Eight. Jimmy can't swim, he doesn't want to swim, and you cannot make him swim. It stems from having a fear of water, specifically fully submerging his head/face.
Nine. Jimmy has food sensory issues. Sometimes he even needs to spit out things he likes because his body refuses to swallow it. To avoid this in public spaces, he takes very small bites and eats very slowly. He orders comfort meals and if he wants to try something new, he'll just pick of the plate of who he's with.
Ten. Jimmy is a Red Bull guy, specifically the Coconut Berry one. This is very oddly specific but it just feels right to me.
Y'all should send me asks with some of your Jimmy headcanons (if you want) because I love to hear other peoples opinions and perceptions of his character, especially if you don't agree with mine I'd love to hear why!
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