#Ciconia Fanfic

[connan-l]

bittersweet

Fandom: Ciconia: When They Cry Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Mariana/Noor Summary: While Cairo Squad is on a trip to Lubango, Mariana invites Noor to eat cakes with her. [Femslash February 2024 Day 3: Cake] Words: 3,118 Link: AO3 | Fanfiction.net

Notes: Late annual Ciconia FemFeb fic delivery. It’s meant to be for Day 3: Cake, from those prompts.

I feel like the Cairo Squad girls could be a fun OT3 in and of itself, but admittedly Gannet is like Naima to me in which she feels too… young and childish compared to the others to really ship her with them? I know we don’t have canon ages for the Ciconia kids, but in my head Gannet and Naima are more 12-13 years old, whereas the others are 15-17 years old. (Though I admit I’m a bit of a hypocrite here as I do enjoy Naima/Rukhi as a pairing, if only for the pink/black aesthetic.) So that’s why I actually settled for Noor/Mariana as a ship, even though admittedly Mariana really don’t seem to appreciate Noor whatsoever so that was a bit tricky to do. As a result the fic feel more like an unrequited crush-fic than an actual pairing-fic, but I hope that’s still satisfying.

In Mariana’s profile, it is mentioned that she went to the “Lubango Toddler Brainpower Research Center” as a child, so that’s why I decided that Lubango was her hometown — though obviously I don’t know if it’s actually the case in canon. Noor’s profile also mentions her “ancestors,” so although it could mean anything I interpreted it has her having an actual biological family instead of being born through a factory.

Also I never went to Lubango or even Angola before and I know very little about the culture/country, so I hope I was able to be mostly-accurate from the tidbits about it I put in there. If I wasn’t you’re free to yell at me about it!

On the other hand, I still haven’t replayed Ciconia since. Well, 2019 now. And truthfully we don’t know much about Cairo Squad girls, so, not sure how… accurate to their game-self they feel. But it was still fun to try writing them.

No spoilers here except for the start of Phase 1, or content warnings except for the inevitable vague mentions of war/child soldiers.

* * *

The trip to Angola hadn’t been planned.

They were still in Cairo this morning when suddenly their superior let them know that because of some political complications their squad was needed in Lubango. Nothing serious, he’d assured them — and truthfully they were only needed to make act of presence more than anything — but they couldn’t just ignore it, either. So here they were, a few hours later, in Lubango. They’d taken part to the needed boring reunion, during which they hadn’t even been allowed to say a single thing. They should be used to it by now; as soldiers, the only thing expected of them was to listen to orders, but it was still frustrating to be treated that way sometimes. And once that had been over, their superior gave them permission to have a break and to do whatever they wanted. They’ll go back to Egypt tonight, but for now they had the whole afternoon entirely free.

Noor didn’t know Lubango. Since she’d become a Gauntlet Knight, she’d visited a lot of cities throughout the whole continent and even outside of the continent. She might not be as familiar with ACR’s countries as Princess Rethabile, but she still went multiples times to Lagos, Abidjan, Alger, Lubumbashi, Douala or Gqeberha. However, it was the first time she’d ever set foot in Angola; she’d never even been to Luanda before. The only thing she knew about it besides some surface-level history was the fact it was where the famous Lubango Toddler Brainpower Research Center was, and that it was Mariana’s hometown.

Which, despite how interesting the city might be otherwise, was actually what interested Noor the most. She tried to appears as her usual, composed self, but inside she actually felt herself fidgeting as soon as they landed to Lubango Mukanka Airport. As they strolled through the streets, she couldn’t help but look around left and right, trying to imagine a little Mariana running around here and how cute she must have been all while her ears kept catching bits of Portuguese and occasionally Umbundu conversations. Noor had decided to not use her Kizuna translator here, as she thought it would be good practice for her — she’d decided last year to start learning Portuguese and Umbundu not only because it could be useful even in their era, but also because she hoped Mariana would be more open to her if she were to communicate in her native languages; but so far, as usual with Mariana, her efforts had been in vain.

Even though they’ve been teammates for a while, Noor didn’t know much about Mariana. She’d heard about her being born in Lubango; about how she was the only one of the children who received mental training at the Lubango Toddler Brainpower Research Center to achieve the highest P3 levels of her country, and that the ACR Royal Brainpower Research Center has set up a research team just to raise her Aerial Augmented Infantry aptitude. But all of these were information anyone could know about her. When it came to more personal things, like how she grew up, whether she had a family or was born through a factory, if she had any friends or siblings… There was nothing. And whenever she tried to make conversation to know more, Mariana always shot her down right away. Gannet had no idea how lucky she was, to be able to gain her affection like that with no effort whatsoever — and yet she always rejected it. That was how their squad’s relationship had been since the beginning, but it was not any less so frustrating.

“Wow…! That looks so cute! Hey, hey, big sis Noor, have you seen this? Do you think it’d look cute on me?”

The smallest girl of their trio excitedly tugged at Noor’s skirt with a wide smile spread on her face and her blue eyes sparkling, but Noor only groaned. At the start of their break, Mariana had been kind enough to accept to take them on a tour to show them around — although it had only been at Gannet’s insistence that she’d accepted — and yet that damn puppy had not stopped being overexcited for one second, stopping and pointing at every little thing; and, of course, specifically soliciting Noor’s attention. It was always like that, so Noor should be used to it by now. She wasn’t.

“I told you to not pull on my clothes. And no, I don’t think it would.”

“How shameful to say something like that. You truly have no heart,” Mariana suddenly argued back with her usual blank face, although Noor could tell she was annoyed at her comment. “Don’t worry, Gannet. Of course this looks cute on you. You look adorable in everything. Come here.”

Mariana tried to pet Gannet, but the girl avoided her with a pout. “Stop petting me! You know I hate that. I only want to be petted by big sis Noor!”

And then she yet again tugged on her skirt, and Noor sighed, making it clear that no, she would not pet her, stop asking. She would never ever understand what Mariana found so endearing about that idiotic child. She was so immature and noisy and irresponsible; just the sight of her managed to give Noor headache.

And yet, Mariana spent all of her time fawning over her. Noor knew that it was silly of her, to be jealous of Gannet like that — but she couldn’t help it. No matter what she could try or not try, Mariana always favored Gannet over everything, and she always refused any attempt from Noor’s part to get closer to her.

That was, until today. Allah may have finally answered her prayers then, because right after that Gannet actually got lost.

Or, well, it would be more accurate to say she vanished on them. It wasn’t something unusual exactly, as Gannet was never able to stay in a same place for too long and always ended up wandering about — but that didn’t mean it was any less annoying when it happened. Still, in general Gannet would use her Kizuna to contact them right away, asking for help — but this time, there was nothing but silence from her. Mariana got worried of course, and admittedly, so did Noor; she might not be fond of Gannet even at the best of time, but she was still her teammate and she certainly never wished any real harm upon her. Thankfully, they finally managed to reach out to Gannet half an hour later, after they’d run around Lubango’s streets while screaming her name.

“Sorry,” the girl said, having at least the modesty to sound a little ashamed. “I needed to go to the bathroom and then I got lost. So I asked to find my way and realized we were close to the military base, so I went back there.”

“Why did you not contact us then? Couldn’t you hear us calling you?”

“I just forgot! Sorry!”

Noor tried not to get too mad at her in Mariana’s presence, but it was hard when Gannet had made them run around the city for no reason — and she suddenly felt angry she’d ever let herself get even slightly worried for her sake. Mariana was only relieved to know Gannet was fine, and they promised her they’ll find her back to the base once their tour was over.

And then, just like that, it was just the two of them; just Noor and Mariana. An embarrassing silence spread between them, and suddenly Noor — the top scorer of the ACR Egypt Aerial Knight Corps, one of the most talented teenagers in the world who received perfect training — simply didn’t know what to do with herself anymore. She kept steeling glances at the pretty girl next to her, wondering what she should say or do; and weirdly enough, she now actually thought that she missed Gannet. At least when she was here, there never was such awkwardness between them.

Mariana, as always, appeared completely unperturbed. She let out a small sigh, looked to her right and left — and then said the last thing Noor would ever expect to hear from her:

“Do you want to go eat cake with me?”

* * *

Of course Noor loved cakes.

She loved sweets in general — like most Gauntlet Knights. She didn’t think there was a single one of them who didn’t. Noor’s father was a big sweets lover himself, and when she was little he would bake her the best basbousa and qatayef that she’d ever eaten.

So, Noor loved cakes, absolutely. She’d just never thought she ever would have the opportunity to eat some alone with Mariana in a shop in Angola. It wasn’t even the first time she’d eaten cakes with Mariana, exactly, as their squad ate together most of the time; but it was the first time she’d ever ate with her alone — especially when it was something Mariana herself had initiated — so the situation was so strange and unusual to Noor that she honestly didn’t know how to handle it.

“Have you chosen yet?”

Mariana asked her in her perfectly controlled, monotonous voice, but Noor knew her well enough that she could detect the slight movement of her eyebrow, signaling her annoyance at her indecision. That hint of a scowl was a shame, as she otherwise looked quite cute sitting here in the middle of the shop. The place Mariana brought her to was a cozy, colorful little place decorated with curtains and garlands and traditional trinkets Noor couldn’t identify, with joyful Ovimbundu music resonating around them. It was small, with very few people, but it felt nice and familiar. Mariana told her she found this shop by coincidence once when she was a child, and she’d loved it ever since — it had become a bit like a secret base of hers. And Noor would’ve felt honored that Mariana opened up enough to her to show her such a place from her childhood if it wasn’t for her adding afterwards that she wished she could’ve shown it to Gannet as well.

“I-I’m still… trying to decide. I just don’t know any of these cakes, so…”

Mariana sighed, then looked the menu. “… Bolo de ginguba is very popular around here.”

“I can’t. I’m allergic to peanuts.”

“…Well, their bolo de fubá is quite good.”

“I… don’t like corn…”

“…I guess you can try their cocada amarela then.”

“…That’s not a cake, though, is it?”

Mariana stared straight into Noor’s eyes, and then, bewilderingly, threw at her an actual, expressive exasperated look, before putting down the menu. “See,” she declared. “That’s why I can never stand you. You never make any effort to be likable whatsoever.”

Noor felt herself flushing. “I-It’s not that I’m not making any efforts, it’s just… I haven’t decided on anything yet, that’s all.”

Mariana, of course, didn’t seem convinced by her excuse at all; she just sighed, then looked away at the street by the window.

And Noor… Noor just didn’t know what to do. Mariana was never satisfied with her, no matter what she did. She could try anything, and Mariana’s image of her never seemed to budge in the slightest. Noor never let this kind of things get to her usually, but today, she just couldn’t ignore the weight in her stomach.

“Did you bring me here just to be cruel?”

Her voice was soft, a murmur, a drop of water falling in a sea of strangers’ conversations and background music — and Noor hated how fragile she sounded right now. That wasn’t like her at all. Noor was a confident person, proud of who she was, of her heritage and ancestors and accomplishments, and she never spoke so shamefully. But somehow Mariana did always have that ability to makes her feel that way.

The other girl looked at her, and for once, there actually seemed to be a slight… surprise, in her pretty amber eyes.

“I know you don’t like me,” Noor continued, unable to look at her teammate and instead staring down at the table. “I’m not an idiot. Of course I’m aware — you don’t like me as much as I don’t like Gannet. But you know— I’m still trying, most of the time. And I just thought…”

She trailed, and couldn’t even finish her sentence. Honestly, she didn’t even really know what she was saying. The air between them felt so thick now, and Noor might hate herself a little bit. It was such a rare opportunity, to have just the two of them without Gannet around and for Mariana to propose on her own that they do something together… and here she’d messed everything up, again, somehow.

Why couldn’t she do anything right when it came to Mariana?

“…I don’t dislike you.”

Noor felt her breath get caught up in her throat. She swallowed, and with an insurmountable effort, stared at Mariana. Her teammate was staring straight ahead, her shoulders steady, her chin up; almost as if she was trying to challenge her.

“—What?” Noor blurted out, because surely she must have not heard that correctly; in what world had Mariana ever showed anything other than contempt towards her? Had ever extended any kindness to her?

And that was fine; Noor was used to that. She could wait and continue to make efforts for as long as it was needed, until Mariana finally realized Noor was someone worth investing in. It might be frustrating and hurt a little sometimes, but Noor was strong, and patient, and Mariana honestly just meant that much to her. But that was the thing — for now she still hadn’t showed any signs of progress, so what was she—

“I don’t really like you either,” Mariana continued. “But… I don’t dislike you.”

“But you… I mean, you always shot me down. No matter what I do or say.”

“Yes, because you annoys me. If you tried to be less coldhearted, or to actually be nice to Gannet, then…”

Noor almost snorted at this, because of course everything came back to Gannet in the end — but the way Mariana slightly vacillated at the end of her sentence here caught her attention. Her heart skipped a beat, and she stared at Mariana expectantly.

“…Wait. Are you saying that… that if I was nicer to Gannet, then… then what?”

“…Nothing. Just, it would be better.”

“Do you mean that you’d give me a chance then?”

“I have not said that.”

She pretty much had, but Noor knew now wasn’t the time to push her on the issue. Mariana sighed, then looked down, as if she’d suddenly noticed a very interesting thing on the ground.

“I wouldn’t have invited you here if I disliked you,” she added, her voice a lot softer than usual. “You’re still my teammate. You just could be cuter sometimes, that’s all. …Sorry about being mean about the cakes earlier, though.”

Noor should probably feel a little embarrassed about it, but she couldn’t hide the wide smile spreading on her face even if she tried. And she knew Mariana noticed it, too, as she could almost sees her rolling her eyes.

“…So. Have you chosen yet?” She repeated, and Noor could tell she was trying to not be as curt as before.

“Hmm, well…” She looked up at Mariana, then smiled. “What about you?”

“Me?” Mariana briefly glanced at the menu, as if hesitating. “My favorite is the bolo de cenoura.”

“Cenoura… Carrots?!” Noor exclaimed after a moment of doubt, unsure of the word’s meaning at first; without Kizuna, the translation didn’t instantly came to her mind as she almost never used that word. “Carrots in a cake?”

“Yes. You’ve never eaten one?”

“No…”

Somehow, the idea seemed a little ludicrous to her. Carrots weren’t common in Arab cooking in general, but as a dessert?

But Mariana had said it was her favorite.

“…In that case, I’ll take one too.”

Mariana blinked at her. “What?”

“You said it was your favorite, right? Of course I need to know all of your favorite things too. Maybe I could try cooking one for you, too. I’m a pretty good cook, as my father taught me when I was young.”

Mariana stared at her for a moment in silence. Her face was just as blank as usual, but there seemed to be something, in her eyes. Something more , that Noor couldn’t entirely figure out. It disappeared just as quickly as it appeared — but Noor wondered, then, if it would be possible to get her to have that something in her eyes while looking at her once again. To get her to smile, just because of Noor.

The thought made her feel dizzy, and she couldn’t wipe out her smile even after they left the shop. After tasting it, Noor decided that she didn’t like bolo de cenoura in the end — but that didn’t really matter much. She still would do her best to cook it for Mariana once they’ll be back.

“In Cairo,” Noor said as they walked slowly in the street, a bit shyly. “There’s, um. A cake shop I like quite a bit. They make great basbousa there. Not as good as my father’s, but… still good.” She took a quick glance at Mariana next to her, who seemed fairly determined to stare at the road and not at Noor. “I’ll… take you there, when we have time.” And then because it sounded a bit too commanding, she added: “I-If you want to. Of course.”

Mariana stopped walking for a moment, a slight frown on her face, as if thoughtful. Then she finally glanced up at Noor, very slowly.

“Is that a date?”

“…Wh-What? No! Just, erm…”

“All right.”

And then she started walking straight ahead again.

Damn. Maybe I should’ve said it is a date, after all.

She caught up with her teammate, and then suddenly felt a hand slip into hers, pulling her in the right direction. Mariana claimed it was because the streets were starting to get quite crowded, so she didn’t want to lose Noor and have to run after her like they did for Gannet earlier — but her grip still tightened firmly on her hand, their fingers intertwining, and Noor made no comment on it, simply enjoying the moment for as long as it could last.

When they finally got back to the military base, Gannet got jealous about their hand-holding; but Mariana reassured her it was nothing and only petted her, much to the girl’s dismay. Even so, to Noor’s surprise, she didn’t say a word about what they had done during the afternoon.

A brief, quiet encounter in a cake shop that would stay only between the two of them.

[mylittlemiyaomeow]

Here's my fanfic account with the 4 Ciconia fics I ever wrote (+ like 1 Higurashi fic).

Main is @magicalmelancholy-blog1

I tend to bitch about the system rep in SubaHibi but I am not a system myself. I just know systems and have experience being mentally ill in other ways.

[kvetas]

NAME: jackie / sloth mama MUN FC: i just use both misaki takasaki and hanabi yasuraoka because they bASICALLY LOOK THE SAME I MIGHT AS WELL - GENDER: Female HEIGHT: 5′1′’, allegedly HAIR COLOR: black EYE COLOR: brown RELATIONSHIP STATUS: taken, my s/o hangs out on twitter tho SEXUALITY: demiromantic, asexual BIRTHDAY: Oct 12th ZODIAC SIGN: libra NATIONALITY / ETHNICITY: filipino-american TIMEZONE: CST HOBBIES / LIKES: drawing, reading, video games, anime/manga, overanalyzing series that i like, historical/cultural facts, eating, mythology/folklore/fairytales, cartoons # OF SIBLINGS: 3 CURRENTLY HAVE A JOB: technically, no, but i should be getting paid for babysitting :/ FAVORITE COLOR: idk fam FAVORITE SINGER/BAND: i’d say kenshi yonezu, but i like a bunch of singers/bands LAST SONG LISTENED TO: ff14 x nier:automata yorha - dark apocalypse theme CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: witch’s heart - unknown past, dorothy’s secret op LAST MOVIE WATCHED: it was either into the spiderverse or the youjo senki movie FAVORITE BOOK:  fanfics and visual novels count right. signal to noise by twigcollins xoxo LAST BOOK READ: fanfics totally count so i’d say Shadow Gate by SomewhereFlying CURRENTLY READING: visual novels totally count so i’m gonna say Ciconia no Naku koro Ni BEST SCHOOL SUBJECT(S): Art, History MAC OR PC?: i own a Macbook but PC DAY OR NIGHT?: Night SUMMER OR WINTER?: Winter MOST-VISITED WEBSITE?: twitter

tagged by: @trophyeve​

tagging: HONESTLY anyone who wants to do this go for it my dude, feel free to tag me if you take this from me

[connan-l]

Insignificant

Fandom: Ciconia: When They Cry

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationship: Lilja Viljakainen/Koshka

Summary: It was a long time ago since she had stopped caring about the things and people of this depraved world. Or at least, that was what she'd like to think.

Content Warnings: Vague mentions of human experimentations, child soldiers/child abuse and allusions to traumas.

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Link on Archive of Our Own

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Notes: This is a thanks gift for @TimeTravelTiddy on Twitter!

I originally didn’t intend to write something for Ciconia until we had more of the story because, well, it’s just the beginning and I don’t think I have a good grasp on these characters and their relationships yet. Which is why I tried to stay pretty vague and made it short. But well, here we are I guess, and these girls are good and deserve it.

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She was staring vacantly at her drink.

Her thick green mane was messily cascading on her shoulders, her burgundy long skirt falling all over her chair and on the ground, her hands circling her cup limply.

She was all alone in the cafeteria, with no apparent expression on her bandaged, disfigured face. She wasn’t moving, didn’t even seem to breathe at all, like a corpse — a heartless, soulless mannequin. An equipment.

The only thing she was doing was looking fixedly at her drink — a weird bluish milkshake — as if she was hypnotized by it.

And it bothered Lilja.

It shouldn’t bother her, but for some reason it does. And as she couldn’t pinpoint why it bothered her so much, it was starting to piss her off — her teeth grinding, her fingers taping on her arms and her feet stomping on the ground.

“Um… What are you doing?”

It was a small, hesitant voice that got her out of her frustrated thoughts circle. She shrieked, quickly turned around and saw a young girl with blue hair and timorous golden eyes. As soon as she recognized her fellow teammate, her irritation just get only an inch further, annoyed that she had let this moron of all people sneak out on her.

“Since when what I’m doing is any concern of yours, Chloe?” She snaps back. “You better take a look at yourself before playing busybody, meow!”

Chloe shrank under Lilja’s glare and uttered a sound that could only be described as a mouse suddenly founding itself cornered by a cat.

“I-I didn’t mean to play busybody!” She countered. “I-It’s just, well, you’ve been standing there staring at Koshka for quite some time, so I was wondering—”

“I wasn’t staring at her, meow! Who would’ve even stare at this gloomy chick? I can’t even stand to feel her presence!”

The other girl grimaced, her mouth making that weird distorted thing she did whenever she was in a pinch. But strangely enough, for once, she didn’t back down from Lilja’s verbal attack. She sustained her glare, and softly asked:

“Then what were you doing?”

Lilja blinked, not expecting Chloe to retort something to her, which was pretty unusual. She looked away and groaned, crossing her arms. “Nothing,” she mumbled.

“But you’re still acting weird?”

“I’m not acting weird, meow! Koshka’s the one acting weird! And if she wasn’t acting weird then I wouldn’t have to be acting weird, meow!”

“So you’re still admitting you’re acting weird then…?”

“Ahh, don’t try to be a smartass with me or I’ll tell Okonogi you called him a blockhead!”

“No! I’m sorry, I’m not a smartass! I’m not a smartass at all!”

‘Okonogi’ had become the secret magic word that would make Chloe do anything Lilja wanted. Well, it worked with Chloe, but not with Chloevil, and Lilja was never sure when that one was gonna pop up so she had to stay vigilant. Though it didn’t seem like it was gonna be the case right now. Currently, her teammate was fidgeting all while looking nervously from right to left, probably afraid to once again say the wrong thing that would trigger Lilja’s annoyance.

But, to be honest… she would never be as anxious as Lilja was in her presence. Chloe was so unpredictable, and although it was fun to tease her, Lilja couldn’t help but always have her guard up around her, to always be tense. She would never admit it to anyone, of course, but that uneasiness wouldn’t leave her.

In a way, she felt that way with Koshka too, but with her, things were even more complicated.

“So… why is Koshka acting weird?” Chloe finally asked tentatively.

Lilja looked at her, then sighed, and redirected her eyes towards the last member of Grave Mole who was a few meters away from them. She still hadn’t noticed them, and seemed a lot more interested in her gross-looking milkshake than in anything else. Was that thing even a milkshake to begin with?

“Lilja?”

“She’s just been weird since this morning. Like, she’s…” She hesitated, and winced instinctively. “Depressed. Or something.”

“Oh. I… I think I noticed that a little, yeah. She was acting a bit off during our training session…”

That she certainly had. Miyao had reprimanded her about how she was slacking off even more than usual, and even Gunhild had given her a gentle warning. But it wasn’t that she was being lazy. Lilja knew when Koshka was slacking off, and this wasn’t it. There was… something different. Like she was just… feeling down. And it was weird. And it irritated her that it was weird.

“Are you… worried about her?”

Lilja’s mind had gone blank at Chloe’s suggestion. Then she was annoyed, and angry. And then she felt like laughing. So she did.

“Me? Worried? About that stupid hick?” She repeated after calming down, her voice full of disbelief. “Geez, I’ve always known you were an idiot, Chloe, but here I’m really stunned, meow! Do you honestly think I would ever be worried about her? Or about anyone? Do you really love Okonogi’s chops that much, meow?”

Chloe squealed, and all while muttering “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” she quickly jumped away from Lilja like a rabbit, her blue ponytail bouncing back at the same time. The blonde let out a sigh, finally being alone and in peace. Or so she thought, because as soon as she did Chloe’s voice yet again interrupted her:

“You should go talk to her.”

Lilja’s green eyes widened. Chloe had an odd, small smile on her lips. But she didn’t add any more that she quickly ran out of the cafeteria, disappearing behind the door. Lilja just stared at where she had been in astonishment. Once again, she felt completely baffled by Chloe. That girl made absolutely zero sense. But…

She looked over at the table where Koshka was sat, just as still as ever. Chloe was a weirdo, but maybe she wasn’t entirely wrong this time. She certainly couldn’t stay here in the middle of the cafeteria staring at her teammate silently. It was even creepier and wackier than Koshka herself. But even so, she was just… unsure how to approach her.

Lilja wasn’t worried. She really wasn’t. After all, their entire relationship rested only on lies and deception. There was nothing genuine in there, so nothing like care or concern could ever birth in her mind. No, it was nothing like that. She was just…

She inspired profoundly, placarded her usual smug grin on her face and finally took a few steps forward. Once she reached Koshka’s table, she forcefully put her hand on the surface — practically hit it, really — making the other girl jump and almost knocking over her drink.

“Heya! There you are, you gloomy hick! Meow, meow, meow!”

Koshka slowly raised her head towards Lilja, and stared at her in silence. Well, at least Lilja thought she was staring at her. It was hard to say really, given her eyes were always hidden behind all her cluster of hair and bandages.

Sometimes, Lilja wondered what Koshka’s eyes looked like.

What shapes they must have, what color they must be tainted of. What sort of glitters and sparkles they must shine with.

But then she wondered why she was even thinking about it at all and got weirded out by her own self.

“Well, well, you’re just as peppy and chatty as usual, huh?”

“Shut up. I don’t want to see you. Go away.”

Lilja’s smile disappeared and she frowned a little, but it was only for a brief second. It wasn’t unusual for Koshka to speak to her dryly, but again, there was just something off with it today. That didn’t mean she was gonna listen to her, though. At the contrary, she took a chair and sat at the table in front of her rival. She crossed her legs defiantly as if she owned the place, and glared down at Koshka.

“For real,” Lilja started off in an atypical serious tone. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing. Go away.”

“C’mon! You can do that with Miyao or stupid Chloe, but not with me!”

“This is none of your business.”

“Oh, really now? You’re really playing it like that?”

“Why are you insisting so much? Since when do you even care?”

Koshka raised her head towards her once again, and although Lilja was still unable to see her eyes, she was pretty sure she was glaring at her. And for some reason, this made her freeze. Somehow, there was something in Koshka — in her mannerism, in her voice — that felt… wrong. There was no biting remarks, no insults, no snappy comebacks. Just coldness and indifference. And it made her uncomfortable.

“I…”

She hesitated. Stopped. Looked away, looking outside the window while putting her chin in her hand.

The response was obvious. She didn’t care. She had no reason to care. This was all lies and falseness and pretense. What was there to care about?

“It’s just… You’re weird, and like, not in your usual, depressing weirdness, and I… don’t like that. Okay? It pisses me off, meow! So, yeah, if you wanna know, I don’t care! Sheesh, I’m just angry.”

And this, this wasn’t a lie. She was angry. How could she not be angry, when Koshka was acting like that? Still, the other replied nothing, seemingly preferring to go back at staring mindlessly at her cup of milkshake. Lilja sighed.

“Does it… have something to do with the experimentations? With Geroy?”

Lilja thought that whatever happened, it was probably the only thing that could put her in such a state. But Koshka stayed quiet. Not that she was truly expecting an answer — especially if it was related to Geroy, it was unsurprising that Koshka didn’t want to tell her anything about it. Lilja knew that, despite the fact she had managed to create some sort of bond with Koshka, managed to more-or-less crack up her shell a little, the other girl was still deeply suspicious of her. Of everyone, really. After all, Koshka said it herself all the time — she believed in no one.

Not that Lilja blamed her. She was the same, after all.

Maybe it was why, out of everyone, she was able to understand Koshka the best.

Slowly, she extended her arm, and with a gentleness unbecoming of her, she touched Koshka’s hand. She was pretty sure she heard her gasp slightly, but that didn’t stop her. Her fingers tentatively brushed her skin, searching for a reaction, a yearning, a warmth maybe. She intertwined them with her own, clumsily, as if it was the first time she was doing something like this. But then she realized that it really was, actually, the first time she was doing something like this.

Initiating contact with someone else. Holding a person’s hand. Reaching out to another human being.

As human as the two of them could be, anyway.

Koshka’s hand was cold and rough; her fingers were pudgy and her skin was covered in small scratches and scars, both old and fresh. Lilja always thought she was a really plain and ugly girl, really — and she was sure she would still be one even without her mutilated, grubby body. Still, she didn’t let go of her hand.

She’d first thought Koshka was going to protest — slap her hand away, throw at her a few insults and leave the cafeteria. But oddly enough, she didn’t. Maybe there truly was something off with her today, because she just kept staring at Lilja’s hand holding hers in silence — and Lilja would have honestly killed to have a clear view of her face right now, to know what her expression was truly like.

And when she felt Koshka’s hand move and returning her grasp, her heart genuinely skipped a beat for a second. What the hell was going on? She had no idea. But she didn’t dare to do anything, to say anything, for fear to break this moment.

It seemed as if the entirety of the cafeteria had disappeared — the entirety of this cursed world even — and for this fluttering, fragile moment, they were just the two of them in the whole universe, and nothing else mattered.

None of them said anything. There was no bickering, no insults, no silly rivalry or noisy bravado.

And maybe everything was all lies and falseness and pretense, and maybe genuineness was something Lilja annihilated from herself a long time ago.

Maybe this moment meant nothing at all, in the middle of their twisted, unstable world — something that was soon going to be destroyed and forgotten, like everything else.

But still, in this tiny, silent, inconsequential short time, this suddenly felt real.

It still existed. It still was there.

This was a pointless, worthless moment between two broken girls, and maybe among all the deceptiveness, this was genuine, and so maybe the rest of the world didn’t matter.

[connan-l]

unafraid

Fandom: Ciconia: When They Cry

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Sujatha/Rukhshana

Summary: Suparna’s training session is cancelled for the day because of a sudden storm, which Sujatha is absolutely not scared of, and that might or might not creates tensions with her girlfriend.

[Femslash February 2023 Day 3: Storm]

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Link on Archive of Our Own

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Notes: Hi here’s your annual Ciconia FemFeb fic from me! Yes you’ll get one until Ryukishi finally decide to release Phase 2. Anyway this is very late but it’s meant to be for Day 3: Storm, from those prompts.

I don’t know why, but at first I didn’t want to write any Sujatha/Rukhshana piece for FemFeb; not because I don’t like them but for some reason I really wanted to write a proper one-shot for them and not something based on a random prompt. But technically speaking they’re still one of the most obvious F/F ships of the VN so far, so I thought they were just the next obvious choice, especially given I’d already done Lingji/Aysha and Valentina/Maricarmen before. So yeah it’s just a small cute fluffy thing without a lot of substance.

Given it’s going to mark the third year since I’ve last read the VN I admit I forgot a lot of stuff about the characters, so I really don’t feel confident in how I characterized them here. Especially Rukhshana. (And I know it *seems* like Phase 1 implied she was a CPP as well like Miyao, but we don’t know much about that yet so I didn’t want to touch on the topic). So I hope they don’t feel too off.

Also, it’s a small detail in the fic but — if you’re like me and haven’t played the game in a while, I feel the need to mention that COU is the one country that has ‘traditional’ families; so I’m assuming Sujatha, Rukhshana and Andry probably have ‘normal’ parents like Lingji & co.

Now on a small caveat I have that made me hesitate while writing this fic: I realized that, obviously we don’t know anything about whether or not Sujatha is religious, but as she is from India and that we’re told the COU is very traditional, IF she is religious then she would probably follow one of the many Hinduism faiths; however, on the other hand, given Rukhshana is from Saudi Arabia and is clearly wearing a hijab, she has to be Muslim. Queerness aside, I know interfaith relationships can be a bit of touchy topic in Islam; some might tolerate it and others do not (one of my non-Muslim cousin dated a Muslim woman for three years, but he had to convert when they got married), and it would be especially so for a Saudi girl given ‘dating’ in the Western sense in general is frowned upon over there. Not sure how things would be in Ciconia’s futuristic, post-World War III universe, but it did seem to imply Saudi Arabia is still very traditional similarly to how it is in our world because of how they mention there were issues with Rukhshana, as a girl, joining the team while there was a boy in it. The VN is very scarce when it comes to giving details about the religious/cultural practices of the characters (hell even the hijabi girls are never actually called ‘Muslims’ in-universe), so I can’t say how pious Rukhshana must be or how important it would be for her to only get together with someone who’s Muslim. So the way I see it in this fic, is that she must probably be respectful of the faith and wouldn’t marry a non-Muslim person usually, but she can give herself some leeway if this is with someone she really loves (and that the other person can potentially convert)? (And well, Muslim communities exists in India too so I suppose you can headcanon Sujatha as such as well). I dunno, maybe I’m just overthinking about it; and of course like I said this is just a short fluff piece and not some exploration of any of these topics anyway lol, but I am not Muslim myself, so I’d understand if any actual Muslim people don’t like it or take issue with this.

All this aside, there’s no spoilers (except for like, the start of Phase 1 I guess) or content warnings except for the inevitable vague mentions of war/child soldiers.

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Sujatha was absolutely not scared.

She had sworn to herself, from a very young age, to never become a person who got scared.

Fear was only meant for the common people. Fear was for normal girls; ones who didn’t have any responsibility, who weren’t soldiers, who weren’t part of the elite of the COU India Aerial Augmented Infantry, leader of Suparna.

Sujatha was anything but a normal girl — had worked very, very hard to not be one; so it was only natural she wouldn’t be scared.

And, most of the time, she did a good job at suppressing the feeling, even when it threatened to bubble up at the surface in the pit of her stomach.

Right now, however, as she heard the news that their training for the day was going to be exceptionally canceled because of some weather turmoils, the wave of anxiety started to overwhelm her in a way she didn’t think she could easily appease.

“What a pain,” Andry declared, letting himself fall all over a nearby couch. “What are we supposed to do now? They warned us at the last minute, so it’s not like we can quickly make other plans.”

Rukhshana made a weak noise of agreement buried under her black hijab. “Maybe… maybe we could play a game together? Until noon, at least…”

“Guess so,” the boy replied, but he didn’t seem very enthusiastic at the prospect. Then again, Andry never seemed very enthusiastic about most things. Everything seemed to pass through him like water; which could be both a relief and frustrating, depending on the situation.

“What do you think, Sujatha?”

“Huh? U-Um…” Sujatha’s eyes darted towards the dark sky, full of threatening gray clouds, trying not to fidget. “S-Sure. Probably.”

At this, both Rukhshana and Andry stared at her as if she was a ghost. They exchanged a brief, skeptical look with each other, before the boy straightened up and arched an eyebrow in Suparna’s leader’s direction.

“You sure?”

Sujatha frowned, feeling as if she was missing something obvious or was left out of an inside joke between her two teammates. Which, unfortunately, happened often.

“Of course I’m sure,” she responded sharply. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“W-Well…” Rukhi bit her lip, looking up at her hesitantly and wriggling her hands like she did whenever she felt unsure of herself. “It’s… not really like you to say something like this…”

“What?”

“Rukhi’s right,” Andry added. “Usually, you would’ve gone all ‘Who have time for games, you lazy scoundrels! If you only think about playing, we’ll end up the weakest of all Gauntlets Knights!’ and then Rukhi would have freaked out mentally over it, or something.”

Sujatha puffed out her chest in an irritated manner and glared at her teammate. “I do not sound like that.”

“But… you are acting weird, aren’t you?”

Rukhshana took a step towards her, and while Sujatha was about to snap back at her that she was imagining things, her mouth shut up instantly the moment she saw her eyes.

The other girl was looking at her with a concerned gaze, the one she took when she was genuinely worried about her; and instantly Sujatha felt herself softening against her will and guilt clogged up her throat. Had she really done that bad of a job to hide her anxiety?

“You’ve… been odd for a while now,” Rukhi continued. “And… it’s been worse since our training was officially canceled… I know you always think training is important, but… Is there… something else?”

Rukhshana stopped right in front of Sujatha, catching her off-guard, and her eyes staring straight into hers instantly pinned her into place. She gently reached out to her, her fingertips cupping her cheek in a tender, intimate gesture; and Sujatha flushed bright red, froze, then panicked.

“Th-There’s nothing else!” She exclaimed, snapping Rukhshana’s hand away and glaring at the other two teenagers. “But you’re right! You’d better find another way to exercise or study if you have nothing else better to do!”

She turned around before almost running away from the room; which still didn’t prevent her from hearing Andry snorting from behind and Rukhshana squeak and grumbling to herself ‘What’s this, she’s the one who said it was okay for us to play!’

Sujatha paid it no mind. She headed to her bedchambers, her face still feeling hot and her chest about to explode because of embarrassment.

She couldn’t believe how… open Rukhshana was with her in public, sometimes. Well, in private as well.

The two of them had been dating for about three months now, but everything still felt very new and surreal to her. No one knew, of course, with the exception of Andry — who had somehow grilled them only a week afterwards — and it did bring in some new challenges to navigate, but so far Sujatha didn’t regret it. She didn’t, but… she had to admit sometimes it felt a bit too… overwhelming, and she wasn’t always sure how to act towards Rukhi as a result (not that she knew how to handle her before, though).

She sighed, closing the door behind her, and let herself fell on her bed.

Rukhshana was going to be so angry for snapping at her like that, she knew. And maybe she deserved it, too. That… hadn’t been really fair from her, after all. She probably should go apologize before things get worse.

She might not look like it, but Rukhi was a pretty grudgeful person; and if she felt wronged, she was absolutely not going to let it slide. She could stop talking to Sujatha for months because of something like this — and the simple idea made Sujatha’s stomach turns into knots, even more so than it already was.

She knew she was the one who had to apologize, and that she had to do it now, but she couldn’t bring herself to get out of her bed.

The gray sky and future storm that loomed over outside seemed to have drained her entire energy. She wasn’t sure how long she stayed like that, but the moment she heard the ripple of the rain on her window’s glass she tensed, then hurriedly buried herself under the blanket, as if this could protect her from the foreseeing tempest.

Sujatha wasn’t scared — she just… didn’t like the rain. And gray skies and clouds. And the dark. And thunders.

And it was absolutely not because she was scared that when she was a child she would stay hidden that way under the blanket back in her hometown in Hanumangarh, and that she would spends hours praying to Indra that the sky could finally light up.

She definitely never came to her parents for comfort, because Sujatha wasn’t destined to be a normal girl and not-normal girls were never scared.

So she also definitely didn’t jump when she heard a timid little knock at her door.

“Uh… S-Sujatha…?”

The voice on the other side was barely audible, especially with her ears camouflaged by the blanket and the heavy sound of the rain that seemed to get more and more violent as the minutes passed by — but of course Sujatha still recognized her.

She’d recognized her girlfriend’s voice everywhere.

“R-Rukhi?”

She distinguished some grumbling from the door, which confirmed her visitor’s identity and at the same time furthered her confusion.

She’d never thought Rukhshana would ever come to see her first. After what had happened earlier, she would’ve been way too mad for that.

“Um… I… I wanted to… uh, check on you…” Rukhi’s voice let out hesitantly. “Can I… come in?”

Sujatha bit her lip. Her heart screamed Yes please, her mind yelled back God no. Sujatha wasn’t scared, but she still refused to let anyone see her… like that.

Even Rukhshana. Maybe especially Rukhshana.

“No,” she finally declared, with a voice a little too shaky.

There was a sigh. And then the door opened anyway.

Sujatha almost jumped off the bed.

“I just said no!”

“I know,” Rukhshana said, glaring at her. “But it was one of your ‘no’ that actually meant ‘yes, please, I need you horribly.’”

Her frame was hallowed of light from the corridor’s luminosity, and Sujatha could see she was still wearing her hijab, albeit another, more casual one along with a long, dark dress.

She clenched her jaw, glared at her girlfriend, flushed, and then threw the blanket over her head yet again. Damn her.

She couldn’t see her, but Sujatha was pretty sure Rukhi rolled her eyes at this. There was a few footsteps sounds, then the mattress moved, tilted under an additional new weight.

“So. Can I stay?”

“A bit too late for that now,” Sujatha mumbled, and the more this situation kept on the more she felt ridiculous. She acted just like a child — completely unbefitting of her.

“Yes.”

And then they fell into an awkward, deep-seated silence for what felt like an eternity.

“Why…” Sujatha started, succumbing to the discomforting tension, before hesitating. “Why are you here, anyway? I thought you wouldn’t…”

“Talk to you for a while? Yes. I didn’t want to. But…” She sighed. “Andry convinced me it was better to not be stubborn, for once.”

That made sense. Andry seemed to be the only other person Rukhshana actually genuinely listened to.

“But he agreed you owe me an apology.”

Well, she supposed that was true. All three of them were on the same page, for once.

“…I’m sorry… for snapping at you… It wasn’t your fault.”

“That’s fine. I forgive you. But… you’ll have to tell me why you did it.” Of course, only silence met her and Rukhi grumbled. “Come on. Why are you acting like this since this morning? What’s going on? You know you can talk to me.”

And Sujatha knew she could. She knew. She just wasn’t…

Well. She wasn’t used to it. Talk, and be open, and be… be scared. That wasn’t a thing she’d been taught. Not even to someone she, apparently, loved.

Sujatha buried her face into her knees, debating what to do with this overflow of contradictory feelings, when it seemed the sky decided to answer for her.

A booming, deafening thunder ripped the room apart, bathing the place in a wide splash of white light. Sujatha then lost all self-control and dignity and actually screamed, her heart stopping and her breath getting caught in her throat. A couple of smaller, other thunders outside left her a trembling, weeping mess under the blanket, rolled into a ball as if she was hoping to disappear.

For a while, the room stayed quiet except for the sound of the rain, but then finally Rukhi raised a small, doubtful voice:

“W-Wait… Could it be… that you’re scared of the thunder?”

Sujatha made no attempt to try to answer this. She didn’t think Rukhi needed and answer, anyway, as even a three years old could have come up with one.

And then the next second she was greeted with loud, unadulterated laughters.

“Oh no! That’s what this was all about! You’re scared of the thunder!”

“D-Don’t laugh! I’m not—”

Sujatha flushed red as she tried to disentangle herself from the blanket to glare at the other girl; but then another thunder resonated behind her, and she shrieked. Rukhshana gave her a smug look, raising an eyebrow.

And stared.

“…F-Fine,” Sujatha admitted, before hiding her head into her knees. “Maybe… Maybe I’m…”

She felt like someone was tearing out her teeth one by one, having to make such a statement. It would have probably hurt less if it had actually been the case.

Vulnerability was the worst, most humiliating thing in the world. She would rather die than appear weak to anyone, least of all Rukhshana.

Least of all Rukhshana, but…

But, maybe, at the same time, if she had to choose just one person who could see this side of her… then Rukhshana would be the one.

“Maybe… I am… a little scared…”

She wasn’t sure what to expect from her teammate, friend, lover. Maybe some teasing mockery and more laughters; that sounded like something Rukhshana would do, because she sure loved to tease her.

Instead, she felt something warm and soft on her back; a hand, she quickly realized, and when she raised her head, she was meet by a pair of soft, kind violet eyes that shined in the dim room.

“You are so ridiculous,” Rukhi said, but there was only fondness in her voice for once. “You know you got me and Andry actually worried here, right? If it was just about something so silly then you could’ve just told us. We’re your comrades.”

Of course she couldn’t have just told them, and of course it wasn’t just something silly; no matter how ‘ridiculous’ it seemed, it was still a weakness to Sujatha, and she could never let any weakness be seen to anyone. Well, except for now, it seemed.

“We’re all afraid of something. What’s the point of being friends if we can’t rely on each other to parry our weaknesses?”

Sujatha didn’t feel like fighting on the topic, so she just looked away, escaping Rukhi’s dark, deep eyes. Maybe the other girl knew it was a pointless argument to have at the moment, because she just shook her head before sitting right next to her girlfriend, their shoulders brushing. She pulled the blanket and covered up both of their heads with it.

When Sujatha looked at Rukhshana again, her face was only inches away from her own, her breath on her lips.

“Don’t be scared,” Rukhi said, smiling. “I’ll stay with you for the entirety of the storm. Okay?”

Rukhi extended her hand toward Sujatha, and while the former muttered a small ‘Idiot,’ she grasped it without a second thought. Rukhshana then leaned in and pressed her lips to hers, giving a gentle, comforting kiss as she was oft to do.

Sujatha let herself melt into her lover’s embrace, hiding her head into the corner of her shoulder, retracting into her arms every time a thunder shattered their peace.

And here, hidden under the blanket, away from the storm and from the whole world with only Rukhshana’s heartbeat and warmth for company, she didn’t feel so scared anymore.

[connan-l]

Crossing the Milky Way

Fandom: Ciconia: When They Cry

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Lingji Liu/Aysha

Summary: Lingji cannot sleep because of some old pictures of the stars making some bittersweet feelings resurfaces, but thankfully she doesn’t have to be all alone with them.

[Femslash February 2022 Day 8: Constellations]

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Link on Archive of Our Own

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Notes: Trying to make a new tradition of writing a F/F Ciconia ship for every FemFeb lol. This is for Day 8: Constellations, from those prompts! Though as it is often the case with my FemFeb stuff I don’t like it much orz. But I’m still glad to have been able to write anything at all given how little energy and motivation I have lately! So yay

Anyway, it’s going to be almost 2 years since I last played the VN now (cry) and I don’t remember if they ever mention anything about the state of the stars or of the sky in Cico-verse so sorry if there’s inconsistencies, but given how bad the climate and the pollution is after WW3, I’m guessing it… must not be great. I wanted to make more references to Chinese astrology/constellations initially, but then I don’t know THAT much about it and it can be a bit complicated so I didn’t want to make mistakes.

This takes place somewhere within Phase 1 after Miyao & co creates the chivalry order (but before everything goes to hell, obviously), sooo brief spoilers if you haven't finished it I guess? And there's no particular content warnings except for vague mentions of war/child soldiers, which is kind of obligatory par with this story anyway.

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Her eyes were starting to grow weak.

It was way too late, and Lingji had been staring at those old photographs for much longer than she’d planned. She really should just go to bed now — but her mind refused to let it go. Her fingers gently traced the speckles of lights and white on the decrepit glossy paper, frozen sparkles of a time forgotten, and as she did so a strange feeling blossomed in her heart.

She looked behind her, towards the large windows that harbored the hall she’d been resting in. Outside the military base, it was completely dark — and while the lights of the faraway city illuminated the surrounding well enough, there was no sign of stars in the sky above. Well, it wasn’t like she had expected it to be otherwise. It was how it had always been, since even before she was born — since even before her parents, her grandparents were born.

Being able to see the stars at night had become a rarity in this world. It was possible only in a very few specific, key isolated places, completely cut from all civilization, that had managed to be slightly spared from the pollution and the environment damage of World War III. But Lingji had never visited such a place, so she couldn’t attest of its veracity.

The only stars she’d ever seen were on pictures, sparse remnants of the past from before the war, such as the ones she was holding in her hands. It made her feel odd and melancholic, like she was in possession of something incredibly precious and common at the same time.

“Princess?”

A voice she knew intimately well got her out of her thoughts, and when she raised her head she saw Aysha walking down the corridor towards her. She was wearing casual clothes, a pretty elegant nightgown long enough to brush her feet, as if she was about to go to sleep… or maybe had been sleeping and had just woken up. Lingji had been the same a few hours prior; ready to go to bed, brown braids undone and golden nightgown put on, but in the end she hadn’t been able to close her eyes, not since her grandfather had given her this box full of ancient photographs. She didn’t know how late it was now exactly, but she knew it must’ve been quite bad if Aysha were staring at her with this much surprise.

“My, that’s really you,” her teammate continued, as if she had thought her sight had been tricking her. “What on earth are you doing so late outside your room?”

“I was… well, I got busy with something and couldn’t concentrate in my room.”

Aysha’s eyes narrowed in a malicious or teasing way; Lingji was never really able to tell with her. “Is that so? If a supervisor were to see you out there like this, you’d be badly scolded. Is our princess starting to become a delinquent?”

Lingji chuckled softly, but she didn’t really feel in a mood where she could humor Aysha’s teasing, her eyes still clinging to the photos between her hands.

The other girl stopped in front of her, and stayed silent for a moment. Then her gaze fell on the pictures Lingji was holding, and she tilted her head.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, not particularly…”

“Then what are these?”

“Ah, they’re… pictures my grandfather lend to me. Pictures of constellations, that dates from before the war.”

Aysha’s turquoise eyes widened, in a way that was very unusual to see on her face. “Wait, you mean these things are at least one hundred years old?”

“Apparently, yes. Grandfather told me they have been carefully conserved by our family for decades. He recently found them back and thought I’d appreciate to look at them.”

“Huh. Well, if they’re from the Liu family, no wonder they were able to get preserved for such a long time.”

There were thorns hidden in Aysha’s words. There almost always were thorns hidden in every single one of her words; Lingji was well-aware of that. A needle soaked in poison — not to kill or even hurt, but bitter enough to make you wince as if you’d just drink vinegar.

Lingji knew that most of the time, Aysha didn’t like her very much. From time to time, when she looked at her, when their gaze crossed, she could see a myriad of conflicted feelings shine in her eyes; jealousy, annoyance, resentment, grudge.  

Lingji wasn’t the best at reading others, but even she had been able to realize this after a while.

But she didn’t know how to deal with that, so she just kept coming back to her ignoring the issue.

“Are you knowledgeable about stars and constellations, Aysha?”

“Hah. Not for the life of me, Princess. The only thing I could tell you is if they look pretty or not.”

Lingji’s expression softened, and she smiled. “So? Are they pretty?”

She turned the pictures towards her friend, and Aysha arched one eyebrow. For once, she seemed to hesitate a little; a rare sight to behold. “I… suppose so. But it is hard to tell with only this old picture.”

“It is, isn’t it…”

Lingji sighed, then let her gaze fell once more on the old, dead immortalized sparkles that had shined a century ago. She heard a faint sigh, then suddenly the cushion on the bank next to her flattened before she realized Aysha had just sat to her left. She was so close that Lingji could feel their shoulders brush each other.

“Grandfather Tiankai once told me… that in ancient China, my people held constellations in very high regard. They considered that someone who could read the stars could read the future. That they could rule China.”

“Hmm… then what about you?”

“Huh?”

“Can you? Read the stars.”

Lingji lifted her head, golden eyes crossing turquoise ones. Aysha was staring straight at her with a strange mischievous expression, and she felt as if she was being tested.

As if she was asking her if she was worthy to lead them, to lead Baibao, to be a Gauntlet Knights, a master of the chivalry order Miyao had just created.

Lingji had been raised to be a leader; that had been decided, drilled into her from even before she was born. She never doubted it, and was confident in her abilities. That was how others had always saw her too, be it her parents and grandparents, Momotake, the other Gauntlet Knights, the other soldiers — she was at the very top, and all respected her as such.

All but Aysha. She would never voice it out loud, would never show it openly, but she’d learned, through little hints and gestures, that the other girl refused and challenged her birth-bestowed authority at every turn.

And somehow, while under every other circumstances, in front of any other person, Lingji never wavered in who she was and what she was capable of, she did in front of Aysha.

“I…” She swallowed. “I cannot. I can… maybe recognize two or three of them, but…”

“Hm. Well, yes, that makes sense. It’s not like we can practice a lot over there, huh.”

As she spoke, Aysha turned around and looked at the complete darkness of the sky through the window, like Lingji had just done a little while ago. For a moment, a heavy silence installed itself between the two of them, and finally Lingji hesitantly moved her lips.

“Do you wish we could still see the stars?”

Aysha didn’t look away from the sky as she answered: “No.”

“No…?”

“I mean… I guess it’d be nice, cause it’d mean our world wouldn’t be as polluted as it is currently. But… I don’t really care for the stars myself. No offense, Princess, but I think your people of ancient China were a little silly. Someone reading the stars can in no way rule over anything.”

Lingji stared at her for a while, then smiled, even if Aysha still couldn’t see it.

“I… wish we could. I wish we could still see the stars and the constellations.”

Aysha snorted. “Of course you do. That’s just like you. Always dreaming.”

“Is that a bad thing? I just wish… You know, I just wish we could’ve gotten to admire the stars in the sky, just like our ancestors did. I wish we’d be able to fly as high as those stars, too. Our gauntlets can only go so far.”

“And what would you do then, all up there? It’d be boring as hell, if you ask me.”

Lingji laughed out loud at this, and Aysha looked up at her curiously.

“Well, that is just a dream, after all.”

She reached out her hand, and took Aysha’s in hers. That seemed to take her teammate off guard, as she widened her eyes with a start. She was usually always putting on this meticulous, cunning joker facet contrasting Momotake’s earnest and open personality, so that wasn’t often Lingji was able to surprise Aysha and get a reaction like this out of her. However, in this instant, just for a second, she looked very vulnerable; and she couldn’t really tell because of the dim light, but she could’ve sworn she even saw her blush.

More importantly, she didn’t try to disentangle her hand away.

“I’m… not saying I don’t completely understand that,” Aysha suddenly said, frowning slightly and looking back at the window. “It would nice, to fly to the stars and… maybe be able to start again in another, completely new planet. A completely new world.”

But that’s just not realistic. She didn’t say that part out loud, but Lingji could hear it all the same. Because, unlike her, Aysha wasn’t a dreamer.

“Heheh. Does that mean you’d come with me, then? Across the Milky Way?”

“If you find a way to do it, who knows. Maybe. Maybe not.”

Lingji wasn’t as much of a dreamer to think that something like that was actually possible. But, sometimes, impossible dreams were the only thing that was able to keep you alive.

Without saying a word, she let her head fall on Aysha’s shoulder. She could feel her body tense at her contact; feel her breath on her forehead; feel her fingers intertwined with her own.

There was still no sound and no other people in the corridor, just the two of them, in the middle of the night with pictures of dead constellations in their hands, in front of a black, starless sky.

Even so, the Milky Way must still be somewhere out there, hidden deeper and farer, concealed from their eyes. It must still exist, even if it was inaccessible to their broken world.

Lingji felt at peace thinking like this. No matter how much Aysha might dislikes her, she loved her and felt safe by her side, more than with anybody, and that was enough for now. Aysha helped the dreamer she was to stay grounded, helped her be the leader she wasn’t in her eyes. She wondered if she was aware of how much she was irreplaceable to her.

Still, she said nothing about it. A part of her felt Aysha wouldn’t take it well if she were to say this to her right now.

Reaching Aysha’s feelings felt as difficult as crossing the Milky Way and be able to see those hidden stars, but at least Lingji could keep dreaming about it.

[connan-l]

To reach her

Fandom: Ciconia: When They Cry

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationship: Valentina/Maricarmen

Summary: Sometimes, Maricarmen really couldn’t stand Valentina’s haughty blue eyes and contemptuous secrets. But that didn’t mean she couldn’t try to understand her. [Femslash February 2021 Day 9: Shame]

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Link on Archive of Our Own

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Notes: Written for Femslash February 2021 Day 5: Orange, from those prompts.

Bleh, this one was hard to write cause in Phase 1 we really only have a few glimpses of these two’s relationship, so I extrapolated a bit and it’s possible their feelings about each others are nothing like that at all lol. It doesn’t even fit the prompt that well. But well, I still wanted to write about them here haha.

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“God, that’s why I hate these old men.”

Valentina let herself fall on the chair with a sigh, crossing her legs and taking the glass of water on the table. She finished the cup in one shot, then ran her hand in her long, wavy blonde hair — in a way that was much too elegant for such a casual gesture. Maricarmen stared at her without a sound for a while, eyes narrowed, before finally opening her mouth:

“Well, that was unusual.”

Her teammate turned her gaze towards her and arched an eyebrow. “How come?”

“Seeing you lose your cool like that. Over something silly, too. I mean, you don’t see that everyday.”

Tina had just been arguing with a superior officer about something trivial like a bad training schedule, which for some reason had triggered and unleashed her full anger on the man. Maricarmen had been unable but to just stare at the other girl with wide eyes as the spectacle unfolded, as if she was watching some of those bad soap operas on TV.

Valentina wasn’t the type to let herself be overcome by her emotions, even less so in front of her superiors.

She was the kind of girl who knew how to be in perfect control of herself, and she would never get annoyed or disturbed or saddened openly — that was the very first thing Maricarmen had learned about her. In fact, it might actually be the first time she’d ever seen her getting angry like that, so ‘unusual’ was actually a rather tame word to describe this.

Being this rational and composed was probably a good thing to have for a soldier, but on a personal level Maricarmen couldn’t help but feel frustrated at this.

It was an attitude that sometimes made her unable to stand her.

It just irked her that Tina was so much better than her at keeping her head and thoughts straight while Maricarmen was so easy to get flustered and struggled to maintain her cool. One could say that was why they formed such a great team, but most of the time it only managed to makes Maricarmen feels inferior.

Tina only shrugged. “Well, I’m not a robot. It’s just a bad day for me, that’s all.”

“Hmm, bad day how? What happened?”

“Is that any of your business?”

“C-C’mon, Tina! You’re my partner, right? You can tell me anything!”

Maricarmen first thought she would get sharply shut down, as it was usually what happened whenever she tried to pry a little too much into her teammate’s problems, but strangely enough, Tina only stared at her with an unreadable face for some time, before a strange smile spread on her lips.

“Why would you care so much about what put me in a bad mood?”

Okay. That was new.

“I-I don’t! I’m just curious,” Maricarmen stuttered, trying to deflect, but somehow Tina’s smile only grew wider. Suggestively, almost.

She leaned on the table and put her chin on her hands, blue eyes shining maliciously.

“Careful, Mari. If you want an advice, it’s a bad idea to pry too much into other people’s problems.”

There was what sounded like a warning in her voice.

‘Don’t get too close, or you’ll get bite off.’

Maricarmen hated when Tina was doing this with her. She always tended to have that habit of looking down on her, as if she was some naive child who didn’t know the hard truth of the world. She looked down on others pretty often too, in fact, but because of how good she was at camouflaging her true feelings, people who didn’t know her well wouldn’t be able to tell.

Maricarmen could tell, though. People tended to take her for a silly, funny girl, which was partly intended on her part, but she was much more perspective and clever than she let on. She wasn’t as skilled as Tina to control her emotions, but this she could do almost like a second nature.

She wondered sometimes if Tina was able to tell, or if she was too busy with her little secrets and looking down on others to notice.

“I can deal with the consequences of my actions when it happens,” she replied, almost provocatively.

And, for a brief second, something happened. A faint glow shimmered in Tina’s eyes — a glow that Maricarmen couldn’t identify. Something akin to surprise, maybe? But before she was able to tell, it disappeared, and her teammate’s face was back to being indecipherable again.

“I wonder about that,” the Brazilian murmured.

But before she could even ask what she meant by that, the other girl rose from her seat and leaned towards her in a quick movement. Blond curls fell in front of Maricarmen’s sight, and a blue as clear as the sky eat away her vision while a warm breath brushed her lips. Tina was suddenly so close to her she could almost kiss her if she wanted to — and for a moment, Maricarmen almost thought she would.

“In that case, I’ll be clearer,” Tina repeated, her voice lower.

Slender fingers grabbed Maricarmen’s light purple hair and started playing with it, and suddenly all of her breath got knocked out of her lungs. LATO might have the reputation of having the purest air on the planet, but right now it felt really hard to just inhale.

“Don’t try to pry into my problems, or you’ll get into trouble.”

Maricarmen was frozen in place, petrified by Tina’s intense blue eyes piercing her own gray ones, until she pulled her face away from hers and smiled again.

“Well, it has been a hot day, so I’m going to take a shower now,” she said spontaneously while standing up. “I’ll see you later for dinner, right?”

She didn’t answer, but it seemed Tina didn’t expect any as she just walked past her without adding anything. Only when the sound of her footsteps vanished that she found herself breathing again, and she slowly brought her hands to her face, her cheeks feeling way too hot even with São Paulo’s ambient heat.

Sometimes, Maricarmen couldn’t stand Valentina.

She disliked her level-headed approach to everything, her ability to have complete control over her emotions and body, her haughty behavior and the way she looked at her as if she was so much more intelligent and gifted than her.

It made her feel like an ashamed child who tried to desperately follow and cling to their much talented and superior sibling — which was silly when she knew that as a Gauntlet Knight she was already one of the most talented children in South America, and even in the whole world.

But that didn’t matter if she could beat every single Latino kid at every single subject if she couldn’t even reach her own teammate’s ankle.

She disliked Valentina for not letting her reach her, but she still refused to abandon trying, because regardless she was still her only and unique partner and she would keep on standing by her side and sustain her arrogant gaze and try to piece together every single one of her secrets.

Even if that means she’d get burnt by doing so.

[mylittlemiyaomeow]

Oh yeah I wrote some Ciconia fanfics.

This first one is about Miyao and Koshka discussing the complications that (I headcanon to) arise when gaming as a CPP (I wrote this one before finishing Phase 1).

This next one is about a future after Phase 1 where not even Meow has heard from Miyao (ignore the inappropriate word count).

I plan on writing more in the future so stay tuned (or not, my motivation is very inconsistent).