#Chuuya needs a hug :(

[amber-sekio]

One-Shot Prompt

Title: And if you can forgive, love will truly live PT: 2

Fandom: BSD -Bungo Stray Dogs

Ship: Dazai x Reader

Prompt: “'Sorry for showing up like this.’ You sighed, your shoulders relaxing in silent defeat. ‘Come in.’”

!Gender of reader is not specified!

A/N: I don't believe there are any major triggers in this part, correct me if I'm wrong though. Also, I feel like Dazai was very ooc which is partially why this took so long, of course, the main problem was writer's block

Word count is about 2.7k

Part 1 of And if you can forgive, love will truly live

Tag: @foulwaterss

Warmth. 

You pulled the person in your arms further into your chest. 

... 

Person? 

You opened your eyes, blinking rapidly as the morning sun pierced your eyes through the open curtain. 

As your vision adjusted you could make out a head of soft, fluffy brown curls tucked against your chest. 

The memories of the previous day, or rather night, seeing as you slept through most of the day, came flooding through your brain. 

Right. 

Dazai knocked on your door last night. 

Soaked to the bone from having likely walked to your place with no umbrella despite the fact it had been raining the entire day. 

And then... you let him in. 

A dangerous decision both for him with his new job and for you with the Mafia. 

But he listened to you, took a shower, ate most of his food, and he even let himself be vulnerable with you, choosing to forgo his bandages because he trusts you. 

You looked down at him as you brought your hand up to card your fingers through his hair, a smile pulling at your lips as he nuzzled into your chest. 

He reminded you of a cat. 

Cute. 

More like a black cat with all the bad things people thought of him. 

Either way, he was cute. 

Your smile turned bitter as the thought crossed your mind. 

Even after four years, you still had feelings for him. 

You sighed softly, letting your face relax, enjoying the soft moment before Dazai awakes and you have to talk about everything. 

You had almost soothed yourself back to sleep with the methodic movement of your fingers through Dazai's hair when Dazai finally began to stir awake. 

You watched as Dazai's eyes fluttered open slightly before he whined as the light hit his eyes, shoving his face half into your chest and half into the sheets. 

"Evil... leaving the curtains open just to blind me..." His voice was pitched with a whine yet rough from having just woken up. 

You chuckled softly. 

"Eh, the sun blinded me too when I woke up." You spoke up, your voice soft in the morning. "I would've gotten up but someone was busy nuzzling into me." You teased softly as you began running your finger through his hair once more. 

"What time is it?" He spoke softly into your chest. 

"I don't know..." You yawned softly. "I was about to fall asleep again before you woke up." 

Even without seeing his face, you could tell a smirk pulled at his lips. Seems like you still knew him pretty well. 

"Were you watching me sleep? How perverted~." He teased softly. 

"Oh shut it. I wasn't thinking anything like that. Of course, you know that though." 

Dazai hummed softly pretending to be unaware. 

"Oh~? Then what were you thinking, hm?"  

You stopped carding your fingers through his hair to reach down and lift his chin up, forcing him to look at you in the eyes. 

"Thinking about how much like a cat you were and how that made you cute." You spoke honestly and directly, not breaking eye contact. 

You watched in amusement as his still-not-fully-awake brain processed your words. A soft blush bloomed on his cheeks that steadily grew darker in color before he shoved his face back into your chest, whining softly. 

"Evil. Your evil." 

You laughed softly as you let him hide his face. 

"Like I said, cute." 

"Shut up." 

The conversation lulled after that, as the both of you took in the comfort of waking up in another person's arms, warm. 

"Do you want some coffee?" 

He hummed softly as he processed the unspoken words. 

'We need to talk about it.' 

"Sure" He spoke yet didn't move from the warmth of your body. 

You sighed as you ran your hand down his back before forcing yourself out of the warmth of your bed. 

"I'll call to you when the pot is done." You remarked as you walked out of your room toward the kitchen. 

You hummed softly as you waited for the pot to brew, your mind drifting. 

You knew roughly the reason behind Dazai's leaving but you still wanted to hear him explain his thought process. 

And, more than anything, you wanted to hear a damn apology. Not just for leaving you, but for leaving Chuuya, and for blowing up his car, because that was a low blow. Yet you also still understood his reason behind that action as well. A silent message to not follow, to not look for him. 

It would be nice if you could get Dazai to apologize directly to Chuuya, but you knew that it would be like trying to pull teeth. 

You were jolted from your thoughts as the coffee pot beeped at you. 

You methodically pulled out a mug and began filling it, leaving enough space for creamer. 

You blinked. 

Right. 

You reached for another cup, placing it on the island counter as you called out for Dazai through the silence. 

You began to fill his cup when you heard a thump from your room followed by what sounded like cloth against the floor. 

You looked up as you were about to start pouring creamer into Dazai's mug, you paused at the sight of Dazai being practically swallowed by the fitted blankets he had pulled from your bed. 

You chuckled softly. 

"It's cold. Stop laughing." He pouted, his lips pulled down in a way that only made you chuckle more. 

Cute. 

"How are you planning to drink your coffee with all the blankets on?" 

He didn’t respond as he walked, or rather waddled, over to a stool at the island counter. You finished pouring the creamer into his coffee as he maneuvered himself onto the stool with the blankets still practically swallowing him. You push the mug towards him as you take your own mug in hand. 

You watch as he brings up his hands, wrapped up under the edges of the blankets, to wrap around the mug. The blankets keep him from moving his arms much, so he has to hunch forward to take a sip of his coffee. 

“You know it’d be easier if you just took the blankets off?” 

“It’s cold.” A pout pulled at his lips again and a petulant whine left him. 

“I have jackets that should fit you.” 

“The blankets were right there though.” 

“More like you're just lazy…” You mumbled under your breath, sipping at your coffee. 

You cleared your throat. 

“So…” 

He didn’t speak up, but he glanced up at you from where he was hunched over his mug. 

“I… already know mostly everything with Oda…, but could you tell me what solidified your decision?” You asked, tone hesitant and unsure. 

You watched as he stared into his mug, worried he would try and avoid talking. He never did like talking about his problems. Not that you could talk, you were the same, preferring to simply enjoy each other’s company without ever talking about your problems. Of course, that was before he left, now you spent your time having a glass of fine wine with Chuuya. On those nights, typically, only Chuuya would talk, with you speaking up mostly to keep the conversation going. 

“There were… many reasons… behind my decision.” He paused; the silence awkward but he clearly was going to say more. “Odasaku’s… um…” He didn’t look up at you, but you could hear as he tried to hide the cracking of his voice. 

“Take your time, there’s no rush.” You hummed softly as he struggled to find his words. 

“Right.” 

You sipped from your mug as you waited for him to continue. 

“Odasaku’s last words to me… he asked me to…” 

“I understand.” You didn’t want to force him to answer when you could put the pieces together yourself. “And the… other reasons?” 

He idly sipped at his coffee. 

“Well… before I continue, can I ask a question?” 

You looked up from your mug. 

“Um… sure, what is it?” 

He let out a sigh, it sounded tired. It seemed like he was forcing himself to ask you his question. 

Almost like he was scared of what your answer would be. 

He huffed out. “What is your opinion of me?” 

He didn’t look at you, gaze fixated on his own reflection from where he stared down at his coffee. 

You hesitated, not having expected his question. 

“My opinion of you?” 

You asked more to fill the silence, to allow yourself time to think about it. 

You knew that he could be cruel. 

You knew that he could be kind. 

You knew you felt an amalgamation of feelings towards him. 

You felt sadness, that he didn’t tell you anything. 

You also felt angry that he left, that he didn’t tell you cause you would’ve- 

You would’ve… 

You would’ve joined him. 

You would’ve left with him. 

Because you loved him. 

More than anything, you loved him. 

Despite everything, you still loved him. 

You let out a soft breath. 

Looking down at the half-empty mug in your hands. 

“Well… I know that you can be cruel, but I also know that you're capable of being kind, of caring for others. And I feel sad and betrayed that you didn’t tell me or leave anything for me to know what you were doing. Angry that you left me because…” You could feel a lump in your throat as you tried to force the words out. “Because despite that… if you had come to me that night… I would’ve joined you.” 

You looked up to find him staring at you with a shocked expression, and somewhere in the back of your mind, you found it cute. 

“After everything we’ve been through… I’ve seen your highs and lows, I’ve seen you mercilessly kill and torture, but I’ve also seen you with Oda and Ango, with Chuuya. And I… have never hated you. I’ve never thought you to be inhuman.” 

You paused. A gentle smile pulled at your lips. 

“I still don’t, Dazai.” 

“I-…” He looked almost on the verge of tears, and you felt compelled to rush to his side on the other side of the kitchen island and comfort him. 

“Well… the main reason I didn’t tell you, or Chuuya was because I was absorbed by my own view of myself… that I didn’t think anyone could possibly see me differently. Especially you… we were similar and so I figured your opinion of me was no different than mine. I believed that with how similar we thought that you must have hated me because-… because I hated myself.” 

He looked down at his mug, unable to meet your gaze. 

Your heart ached at his words. 

“Dazai…” You spoke hesitantly. “Dazai… what is your opinion of me?” 

He looked up at you. “My opinion of you?” He repeated your words back at you. 

His gaze shifted to the side as a soft pink tinted his cheeks. 

“I always thought of you as something of an angel. You were smart but quiet, stern as a mafioso should be, but you were also kind. You formed a connection with me similar to the one I have with Chuuya but different. You understand me in a different way. Like a guardian angel, you’ve stopped me from many of my suicide attempts, maybe even more than Chuuya has. When I watched you fight it was like I was watching an angel of death, bloody, but still pure in a way only you could ever achieve.” 

He stopped himself, looking up at you. 

You could feel your cheeks burning as he spoke, looking into your eyes. 

“I have always loved you. As undeserving as I am, I have always loved my guardian angel.” 

“I- you… love me?” You found yourself short of words as your brain tried to process that Dazai, who you have loved for longer than you would like to admit, loves you as well. 

As your brain finally caught up, the vibrant blush on your cheeks softened, and the smile that pulled at your lips was just as soft. 

Placing your mug down, you reached your hands across the island counter to grab his hands, pulling them from where the blankets were still wrapped around them. 

“I love you too, Dazai.” 

You watched as the blush on his cheeks grew a few shades darker. 

Cute. 

You dropped his hands as you walked around the island to stand next to him. He turns towards you, cheeks still vibrantly flushed. 

You reach out, your hand hovering over his lower cheek, prompting him to tilt his head up at you. 

“May I?” 

You could see as he swallowed, calming himself. 

“Only if we remain exclusive.” 

“And this remains secret.” You added, smiling at him. 

You let your hand rest on his cheek, bringing the other one up to rest on the back of his neck, still bare of bandages. You leaned down the rest of the way, connecting your lips with his. 

His lips were soft against yours, and the kiss was sweet. 

A soft sound akin to a whine left him as you pulled away slowly. You chuckled as he flushed, embarrassed by his own neediness. He pulled you into a hug, wrapping his arms around your waist as the blankets fell off his shoulders hanging off his waist. 

“Shut up.” His voice was slightly muffled from where he pressed his face against your chest. 

You laughed. “But I didn’t say anything~.” 

“I said shut up.” 

“You're even cuter when you're flustered, you know?” 

He whined into your chest, refusing to let you see his face. 

You stopped teasing him, letting the soft moment consume you in warmth. 

“I’m glad you're safe. He’d be proud of how far you’ve come.” 

The arms around you tightened and you could barely make out a sharp intake of air. You brought a hand up to his hair, running your fingers through it comfortingly. 

“I know he would.” 

“I-… thank you.” 

A comfortable silence settled on the two of you for a few minutes as you held each other until Dazai spoke up, mumbling softly. 

“I’m sorry for hurting you and Chuuya…” 

“I forgave you a while ago, and while Chuuya would never say it out loud, he has as well, even if he’s still angry about it.” 

“I missed sitting on the dock with you.” 

“Those moments of serenity in between the chaos were nice.” 

“You have the day off, right?” 

“I don’t have work until tomorrow morning. Though, speaking of work, shouldn’t you be at work right now?” 

“Unimportant. Anyways we should cuddle and watch something.” 

You laughed joyously, your arms tightening around him. “Even after four years, you're still you, huh? I’m glad you’re more open though. Honest. I like being vulnerable with you.” You smiled down at him, moving the hair from in front of his face to behind his ear. “The light suits you, Dazai.” 

Dazai hid his face against your chest again, though you could tell he was flushed with how red his ears were. 

“I thought I told you to shut up. I demand you carry me to the couch now.” 

You scoff playfully. “What are you, a princess?” 

“Yes, and you must serve me.” He replied matter-of-factly. 

“Right.” You reached down with one hand to grab the blankets that had fallen around his waist, pulling them up around his shoulders and then wrapping them tightly around him. You pick him up effortlessly, chuckling as he lets out an involuntary squeak. 

You carried him over to the couch, laying him across your lap as you reached to grab the remote off the coffee table. 

“What shall we watch, Your Highness?” 

You watch as he thinks over your question before you notice a drop in his mood. 

“Is something wrong?” 

“I don’t like how good you’ve gotten at reading me.” 

You chuckle as he pouts. “I’ve always been good at reading you, I’m just choosing to mention what I see now. So, what’s up?” 

“Do you still have that watchlist we made when we were 17?” 

You smiled at his question. 

“Yeah, I never deleted it. And I don’t think I’ve watched anything from it.” You hummed thoughtfully. “Not that I’ve really had the time to anyway.” 

“Good. Pick something off of that then.” 

“No specific genre?” 

“Not really.” 

With a soft smile, you click into the playlist of unwatched shows and movies. You pick a random one and start it, more focused on the unguarded and genuine smile on Dazai’s face. 

It was nice. 

He was alive and doing better than before. 

Everything would be fine. 

And hopefully, you get him to actually apologize to Chuuya.

[anidealistatbestburntoutatworst]

chuuya: “can i drink alcohol on this medicine doctor?”

doc: “well one drink will make you feel like you’ve had four,,,,”

chuuya: “oh so i’ll be saving money!!”

doc *concerned*: “well i suppose?”

[enevera]

it’s safer to sleep with all weight consolidated in the middle of the bed when you’re on a job, okay?!

[karmicpunishment]

Atsushi & Dazai Reunion (REAL) (colorized)

[shitogori]

Post dark era skk (is just vhuuya being sad and delulu)

[sensitiveheartless]

this was a result of me reading this post/conversation between @originalaccountname and @iwritenarrativesandstuff (hope you guys don't mind the tagging skjfksdjf) and getting really sad about Chuuya — and I had been rewatching the Dark Era episodes for the billionth time and was thinking about Oda and Dazai hugging Ango while they're all smelly to make him go with them, and so I thought "ok what if Dazai did that to Chuuya but in the process they both accidentally discovered how touch-starved Chuuya is"

[chuuyascumsock]

I’m Here // Minors DNI

Summary: Chuuya doesn’t remember his dreams, but he feels it. [Based off the canon fact that Chuuya doesn’t dream/doesn’t remember his dreams.]

Tags: Nakahara Chuuya/ GN Reader (referred to as Doll once but gender isn’t specific), SFW, Hurt/Comfort, Not Much Warning, But Chuuya Cries, Also Mentions Chuuya’s Thoughts Of Not Feeling Human So Dehumanizing Feelings Of Oneself.

Nakahara Chuuya/Reader Drabble

Chuuya doesn’t dream, or at least he doesn’t remember them.

And yet there’s an overwhelming feeling of grief stirring inside of him when he awakes abruptly, a sheen of sweat drenching his face and around his neck. Soft pants fall from his lips as he sits upright, one of his calloused hands flying up to smooth over the left side of his chest where a dull ache throbs within. He doesn’t know why this happens, but it does. He knows that even if he doesn’t remember his dreams, he subconsciously knows what they’re about. Feels what they’re about. His past— the people he’s lost— the things he’s had to do to survive.

Chuuya doesn’t cry.

But he does tonight, melancholy overtaking everything else in him. His tears are silent and scarce, the feeling unusual and almost surreal to him. When did he become so weak?

“Chuuya?” Your voice is groggy and slurred from sleep as you shift beneath the covers to slowly move to sit up.

Chuuya’s breathing hitches, thankful that the room is pitch black. He can barely make out your figure next to him, but see that you’re moving to lean closer to him. Chuuya clears his throat and responds quietly, “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you, Doll… Go back to sleep.”

Your hand moves to feel out next to you to find him until it lands splayed out on his back, “Why are you up? What’s wrong?” You ask, worry lacing your tone.

“Nothing, m’fine…” He sighs out, making a move to wipe his damp face with his hands. His hands stop though when he feels your warm hands cup his face and wipe away his tears with your thumbs.

“It doesn’t sound like nothing,” You murmur, shuffling to switch positions, though slightly difficult due to your limited vision. You face Chuuya now, hands moving from his face to smooth down his wild bed hair from tossing and turning. “Why are you upset?” You’re just the slightest bit confused having known about Chuuya’s inability to dream— or that he doesn’t remember them, so it couldn’t be that. Could it?

“I…” Chuuya sniffles, but it’s barely discernible. “I had a bad dream,” He pauses before letting out a shaky exhale, “I feel it.”

You almost frown, but it curls into a gentle smile, though you know Chuuya can’t see it in the dark. “You feel it?” It’s an innocent question, much like your touch as you tuck some of his damp bangs behind his ear. You feel him nod, leaning into your touch for comfort— seeking you out in a moment of vulnerability. You don’t elaborate on your thoughts about the three simple words he spoke— that you think he’s more human than any other being you’ve met— that you wish he’d look at himself through your eyes and see how living he was beneath his flesh and bones. But you push it to the back of your mind for a later conversation.

“It aches,” Chuuya’s voice strains, wishing the throbbing would disappear from his chest.

“I know,” You whisper. Your hands find themselves slipping around his waist to hold him from your position next to him, “But I’m here.” You reassure, head resting into the crook of his neck.

He turns his head to place a gentle kiss to your head, arm looping around your back to caress along your spine soothingly, “You are.”

Chuuya survived all his life, but with you, he felt like he was living.

[thetinyzaiofbuffoonery]

The boys are taking a break from squabbling to give Catsushi some much needed hugs in this trying time

[dailynakaharachuuya]

I need a hug

Hug!

[ssaraexposs]

Yet the Sheep didn't hesitate to attack you and betray you, because they didn't trust you after all

[lnkedmyheart]

This one is in response to @fizzytastic asking

"I would LOVE to know what you mean regarding the light novels."

Dazai in the light novels has been down BAD since the day he met Chuuya.

I know the whole "must be because I love you" can be viewed as a joke but my man actually "whispered with a look of regret" at being shot down.

He also proceeded to cheat during the game by tampering with the machine to ensure Chuuya would lose the bet and become his dog. He was also stated as being in awe of Chuuya's fighting ability, repeatedly refering to him as "incredible". Dazai also flat out admits to wanting to try out living because "Chuuya convinced" him.

He is even described as having forgotten how to breathe watching Chuuya fight.

Moving on to the events of Stormbringer, Dazai spends too long exposing his obsession with Chuuya, telling the big bad that he spends all his "days and nights thinking about ways to annoy Chuuya".

He further proceeds to insist that Chuuya is human because of how strongly he hates Chuuya and due to a specific word it can be viewed as him saying Chuuya would hate him less if he wasnt human as was stated in the stage play of the same.

Furthermore at the end of Stormbringer he offers to come up with a new plan to give Chuuya an out if he needs one when he has to use corruption as a last resort. And he fully intends on coming up with a new plan within 2 minutes.

In general Dazai does a lot of staring at Chuuya throughout the light novels. On a lighter note Dazai jokes about wanting Chuuya as his personal maid at one point and demands that Chuuya let Dazai look inside his head and know everything there is to know about him.

But then we move onto the dragon head conflict as mentioned in Dead Apple where after making light of an executive's death and getting punched in the face by Chuuya, Dazai is so shaken up by Chuuya implying he's inhuman, he actually pulls strings to try and bring the conflict to an end. He also stops corruption by touching his cheek and pulls Chuuya's head into his lap while he is unconscious after his fight with Shibusawa. The following is from the manga.

Now everyone knows about the whole Snow White and Prince reference but in the light novel its clarified that Chuuya's ability was not affected by the fog and Dazai knew this but he still forces his head down. Even more telling is that Dazai cradles Chuuya's face for no real reason because Corruption had already been nullified when Chuuya made skin to skin contact when punching him in the face.

And of course that was how their expressions are drawn in the manga panel

Then we move to the present day and you have Dazai saying this to Sigma about Chuuya

But then his comment about Gide has him claim the exact same behaviour is romantic in his messed up troll brain

Basically Dazai has a history of staring at Chuuya in awe since 15, "jokingly" confessed at 15 and then got somewhat upset about the rejection, cheated to be able to keep Chuuya as his, repeatedly makes remarks that imply he is vaguely obsessed with him at 16, tends to let Chuuya rest his head in his lap post corruption, has nullified him twice that we have seen by touching his cheek (as per the movie and once as per the ln). Is actively affected by how Chuuya views him (which was shocking to me).

Aside from that he has also talked about Chuuya to the ADA off screen because Yosano knew about Chuuya and his ability (though this could just be a random update about the membera of the mafia to watch out for during meetings) and I heard he talked about Chuuya to Oda in The Day I Picked Up Dazai ln.

This is not counting any of the seriously insane amount of wan content because I dont view it as canon or atleast entirely canon but there Dazai admits to keeping 27 journals detailing things about Chuuya and its an exaggeration of the canon fact that Dazai prides himself in being a Chuuya Nakahara Encyclopedia. It also plays with how close they both actually are with several character refering to them as besties, Chuuya being forced to admit he doesnt actually hate Dazai.

(Oh and this is not even considering just how much Dazai touches Chuuya, like in the manga there is a part where Dazai keeps tugging at Chuuya's hair and refusing to let go while complaining about how much he doesnt want to touch him. Just let go dude...)

So yea, I would not be surprised if Dazai has his vows prepared by the time the last pre defection ln drops. Ofcourse this is mostly a lighthearted joke about Dazai being down bad but in all seriousness, Dazai genuinely cared about and still cares about Chuuya and its made extremely obvious throughout the novels. Its actually worth noting that it was actually Chuuya who seemed to be more vitriolic towards him until the end of Stormbringer where Dazai actually gives Chuuya a choice and shows open concern for Chuuya's needs. Hell Dazai was also the one insisting on Chuuya's autonomy, while he keeps insisting Chuuya is his dog, he hates the idea of people using him like a tool, its why he always gives Chuuya a choice. Chuuya always actively chooses to go rescue Dazai in Dazai's plans of getting kidnapped. Chuuya can always go, "nah, I dont wanna use corruption" but he doesnt because he knows since the events of stormbringer that Dazai will always give him a choice even if corruption seems like a last resort.

Chuuya has good reason for trusting Dazai. Its cause Dazai has in fact proven to him that he can trust him. Its why he went in to fight a dragon despite being told Dazai was possibly already dead.

(And yea I know the current arc would have people go "lol he tried to drown Chuuya, he clearly doesnt care" and you know what? That's so dumb. Dazai tried to drown Chuuya, yes. But we dont actually know what is happening with this arc rn and what he is doing or if Chuuya is in any way involved in whatever he is doing. Dazai said all those things and there was no need for him to say that but the fact that he even remembered several moments they shared, yea no, he was clearly affected by it. Maybe I am wrong and Asagiri decided to yeet out all of Dazai's characterization we saw with his behaviour towards Chuuya in 2 entire novels of his past but IDK I think I'm gonna wait till this arc ends and everything unfolds before making a conclusion about how Dazai is such an asshole he tried to drown his partner.)

Seriously, vows are like the least they could do at this point.

[renabunss]

Chuuya can't go too long without an older sister figure/drinking buddy. Meanwhile, Akutagawa is in emotional turmoil.

I had to do something for this. It was a given.

( @muaviinu 's swap au)

[silverbladexyz]

Blue Skies, Tainted Sorrow

TW: Mentions of death. Stormbringer spoilers below!

The Yokohama sky was an exceptionally sorrowful blue.

Normally, the colour blue was associated with stability and harmony, granting a sense of tranquil peace wherever it descended. Favoured in the eyes of many, outshining numerous other shades- with such positive attributes, it was almost laughable, really, how it was also the epitome of sorrow.

But on this particular day, sorrow was the perfect reflection of the sky.

Chuuya sat, unmoving, on a particular protrusion of the building; his vacant eyes staring at the endless expansion of blue stretched out above him.

Calls that were sent to him were left unanswered on his phone, whether it was from you or from the supercomputer Adam that was assisting Chuuya in this case.

You understood your friend all too well to know what he was thinking.

"The hell is he doing?"

Shirase's impatient voice cut through the silence, and you turned your gaze towards him, glaring slightly. Despite all his proclamations about being the future 'King' of the disbanded organisation called the Sheep, he couldn't read the room to save his life, and was a coward in times of true danger. Talk about being a king of foolishness instead.

"I imagine he doesn't want to talk to anybody right now," Adam replied, as he looked up at the motionless teenager. You frowned slightly, glancing back towards the figure sitting on the building. Even though the latter could put on such a convincing act that could fool Dazai himself, anybody could tell that Chuuya was suffering in remorse and self-blame.

You didn't want him to suffer anymore.

"... Please excuse me."

Activating your ability, you teleported right to the same ledge that your friend was situated on, trying not to slip off the uneven surface.

If Chuuya heard you, he gave no sign of acknowledging your presence.

Taking a small breath, you tried to relax yourself as you slowly approached the teenager, speaking in a soft voice.

"... Hey. I just wanted to check up on you. You've been up here for a few hours, and I was starting to get worried."

There was no reply, but you waited patiently, not wanting to overstep his boundaries.

"... I'm fine. There's no need for you to concern yourself over me."

It was an usual curt answer that you'd expected to hear from him. You knew that he was like this because he wanted to solely shoulder the guilt of their deaths on his shoulders.

But you weren't going to let him go this easily.

"... This is about the detective, isn't it? And the Flags, as well-"

Before you could finish your sentence, Chuuya had already shot up and faced you, gritting his teeth as he glared silently. You only stared back at him calmly.

"I'm right, aren't I?"

"..." He stared off in another direction for a while, before his gaze returned to you again. But instead of anger, there was only a vacant emptiness in his eyes.

"The Flags and Detective-san all died because of me. I'm the one responsible for their deaths. And I have to be the one to stop Verlaine so that there won't be anyone else who end up with the same fate as them."

You stared at him silently, before opening your mouth to speak.

"'You're the one responsible for their deaths'... is that truly all you believe in?"

Chuuya stiffened, and you continued before he could get a chance to rebut.

"You were not the one who murdered them. Verlaine did, in order to 'set you free'. But he doesn't want to force you to come with him, because it'd be going against your own freedom of choice. Instead... he wants you to blame yourself for their deaths. To feel guilty about those lives that he cut away. And make you approach him of your own accord, so that-"

"But Verlaine killed them because he knew I wouldn't leave the Mafia. Even if I wasn't the one who performed the physical act, I'm still the sole reason why they're dead! Can't you see? None of this would have happened if I had just gone with him that time."

The sorrow was evident within him, even as he resorted to his usual angry façade.

"... It is agony. I feel it too. But," you tentatively placed a hand on Chuuya's shoulder, feeling his muscles tense up underneath your touch.

"Just as Mori-san had said, the dead feel no emotion. Things such as revenge and guilt are for the living. However, blaming yourself for their deaths is going to get you nowhere. It hurts, but it is only through this hurt that you can remember who you are fighting for. And please remember that you are not alone. I'll be here for you, and you can rely on me whenever you need me."

"..." Chuuya looked down towards the ground, his body starting to turn away, but you weren't finished yet.

His eyes widened as he felt your arms encircling around him.

Chuuya's instant reflex was to flinch and back away, but you merely tightened your hold on him. His hands lay by his side, but your warmth encouraged him to relax into the hug. It was slightly awkward, as the two of you weren't too well-versed in platonic affections, but that didn't matter in this moment.

"I know that it's been hard for you. I know that it isn't easy to keep on fighting when you have struggles of your own. But I just wanted to tell you... that you'll always be a human in my eyes. And that will never change."

The silence that followed was deafening- and with that, you felt a twinge of panic in you.

Did you happen to say something that upset him? You always knew how Chuuya felt about his humanity, but you never knew how he would react if someone believed that he was human. Your grip around him started to loosen slightly.

Only for two strong arms to hug you back, alongside a face being buried into your shoulder.

It was the first time you ever felt him smile.

Hopefully this did justice to Stormbringer!Chuuya ❣

@circinuus @riiwrites @sariel626 @ruanais @kolyakisses @chocsra @oldworldpoolhall @chunshiya @yuugen-benni

[ohhcinnybuns]

Thinking of random corruption-related hcs for Chuuya.

Every time Chuuya uses corruption, his memory deteriorates since he's quite literally hemorrhaging from the inside.

He doesn't notice it the first few times at 15 and 16 because whatever memories he suddenly lost are inconsequential.

Days later after the Dead Apple incident, he has the terrible feeling that something amiss. Like he lost a major memory. And then he realizes he doesn't remember a lot of what happened in Dragonhead and he has to slyly toe around getting Dazai to remind him what happened. Chuuya just nervously laughs, like, 'oh, right, duh, I'm just running on no sleep right now.' And Dazai kinda squints but lets it go. (Weird reaction when Dazai's used to seeing Chuuya go from 0 to 100 about the friends he's lost, and Chuuya's just kinda taking it in stride now)

(Wait, now I'm realizing this could be an interesting fic idea...)

After the Steincraft fight, Chuuya wakes up and doesn't remember why he joined the Port Mafia.

Oh, you pulled in with an angst train, I see

Him forgetting core memories that make him HIM hurts… especially with how traumatizing and painful his life has been, and how the memories were moments with some of the most special and influential people in his life…

BUT! What if… now he’s not tied to Port Mafia and now he can step into the light?

What if Chuuya entirely forgets more than the mafia… What if Dazai finds out that Chuuya has lost his memory and gives him the option to come with him to the ADA, and we get ADA Chuuya? Or, like, what if Chuuya gets to live the life he wants now, away from pain, and gets a do-over?

OR... What if Dazai gives him the option to choose whether to live as a blank slate or to remain in the dark? Would Chuuya do it all over again? Would he want to learn about all the hurt, his past, and live it again?

Would the Mafia let it go? Would Mori attempt to take back Chuuya? THERE ARE SO MANY IFS…. SO MANY QUESTIONS. SO MANY DIRECTIONS!

[tamashiarts]

Crying Dazai is my fav thing to draw

I love seeing him all miserable and vulnerable :3

[savasavva]

fem beast skk