#Chuuya does understand and is irritated with him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

thedarkdisgrace · 1 year ago

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skk threadfic from my twitter 🧵

Imagine skk thought a mission was done, Chuuya is bandaging Dazai up since he got injured as a “calculated risk” per usual but there’s someone left and they take a shot at them. Chuuya moves in the way on instinct but he’s still touching Dazai so his ability doesn’t activate.

Dazai doesn’t hesitate with his own weapon & the threat is dealt with. But now Chuuya is severely wounded & trying not to pass out from the blood loss just in case there are even more of them. Dazai’s still injured & he calls the extraction team because they need to get there NOW.

Chuuya’s blood stains his hands while tries to keep pressure on the wound that’s *still* bleeding too much & Dazai bitches at Chuuya for being so stupid to take a shot that was aimed at him with NLH nullifying his ability.

All while thinking about where he miscalculated. They knew the number of enemies, there shouldn’t have been more, did they get sloppy? They should’ve triple checked before taking care of Dazai’s own wounds.

Chuuya’s still fighting the blood loss, offering short responses to all of Dazai’s complaints.

A smirk plays on his face & Dazai’s irritation spikes because /what/ is he smirking for?

Dazai shifts his hands to get better pressure on the wound. “Has Chuuya’s tacky hat finally eaten the last of his braincells? Why are you smiling right now?”

A little blood trickles from his mouth as Chuuya chuckles. “Don’t get to see you sweat like this often.” He murmurs. “Nice to not to see that stupid mackerel face sometimes.”

Dazai knows his masks are useless around Chuuya, as much as he despises that fact.

So, he shoves aside the deeper implication of Chuuya’s words even as heat rises in his cheeks.

“The slug is delirious, he should focus on staying conscious instead talking nonsense.”

Chuuya only chuckles again, causing more blood to push against Dazai’s hands and he hisses for Chuuya to stop it.

“Chuuya doesn’t seem to be taking this very seriously, does is his chibi sized brain not understand the situation?”

He hears a token growl from Chuuya but it’s barely loud enough to exit his throat. “‘m not worried.” He manages to push out.

Dazai huffs. “Ah, so Chuuya’s hat really *did* eat his brain. I did warn him about that, this is what happens when you don’t listen to your master. Clearly Chuuya needs more training since he-”

“‘Samu” Chuuya interrupts, voice low & raspy & Dazai slightly jolts at his given name.

He meets Chuuya’s eyes & though clouded with exhaustion, they still shone sharp & unyielding.

“Samu.” He repeats, moving his hands to cover Dazai’s, still pressing heavily against the wound. “‘m not worried.”

With their eyes locked & few words exchanged, Dazai understands. They never really did need much to communicate a lot all at once, did they?

With mild surprise & a reluctant fondness reaching to grasp his heart he can’t help the small smirk of his own forming across his face.

A loyal dog indeed.

With a trust that’s so embedded in them that it somehow runs deeper than the blood in their veins.

His partner.

Always so confident, even now. Even like this.

Because /soukoku/ never fails.

Dazai lifts one hand from beneath Chuuya’s, still pressing against the wound & begins to unwind his bandages from his wrist.

“You think…i want your…dirty ass bandages…on me?” Chuuya asks, managing to raise an eyebrow with some effort.

Dazai gasps, feigning offense even as he reads between the lines of that insult.

(Back up will be here soon, are you sure you want to take them off?)

“What kind of owner would I be if I didn’t take care of my dog when he’s injured?”

(Don’t worry about that, idiot)

“Besides,” Dazai continues quickly, not giving Chuuya a chance complain, “as if my bandages are any worse than bare my hands digging into your open wound, Chibi.”

Chuuya grimaces as that. But Dazai sees his skin turning pale.

“You used our extra bandages on my leg, i could unwind those if you would prefer.”

“Shut the fuck…up..mackerel.”

Dazai gently pulls away Chuuya’s blood soaked clothes and begins wrapping up the wound with the bandages he pulled from his arm. All while doing his best not to aggravate the wound any further.

Chuuya’s abs are flexing with every move, every touch & Dazai can’t help but wish they could’ve gone home, where he could appreciate those abs moving pleasantly above him instead of in pained spasms.

Home. It’s a concept Dazai never thought would be within his comprehension.

Not truly, anyway. Not for someone like him. Someone buried in darkness with an endless wish for death.

Though he imagines Chuuya’s apartment might be close to what someone might consider a home. Along with whatever this thing /is/ between him & his partner.

It has been over a year & a half since the King of Assassins incident & it’s been around the same length of time since he all but moved into Chuuya’s apartment. They still bicker constantly & there’s nothing Dazai loves more than getting under the hatracks’ skin…

But there are /moments/.

Moments where they’re more than the roles they’re forced to play.

Moments where they’re just…them.

Though he would never admit such a thing out loud, there’s comfort in the routine they’ve established over that time. Their lives are ones filled with blood and pain and death.

Yet, there is a place where it doesn’t have to be *just* that darkness.

Who would’ve thought something so mundane would help hold his interest in his world?

Now, Dazai would prefer they get a chance to get back there. So when the shouts of mafia reinforcements reaches his ears, he’s quick to toss commands at the grunts as they approach.

After ensuring Chuuya wouldn’t bleed out on the way, they’re taken to one of the mafias medical facilities for treatment. Dazai complaining about Chuuya’s stupidity the whole way there.

After Dazai’s leg was fitted into his cast he, of course, found his way to Chuuya’s room.

And of course they nearly drove the doctor’s crazy with their constant bickering. They should be /resting/, afterall.

But later, if a nurse happens to find the two of them passed out, heads leaning against each other in Chuuya’s hospital bed…well, that’s no one’s business.

#skk fanfic #skk #soukoku #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #chuuya #dazai #chuuya x dazai #soukoku fanfiction

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dazaiilover69 · 25 days ago

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bungou stray dogs fanfic, chapter 1

(If it has support I will upload chapter two)

——————————————————

No more dreams

——————————————————

I’m dying.

I can’t feel my body, my vision is blurred, my legs are trembling, and my breathing gets shorter with every passing moment. I think there are people around me—I don’t know. I can’t hear them, see them, or feel them. Maybe it’s just my imagination, but does it even matter now?

I try to raise my hand to feel if there’s anything—or anyone—but it’s useless. I don’t even have the strength for that.

I guess I must’ve lost consciousness at some point. I feel like I should snap out of it to understand what’s happening around me, what’s happening to me, but my body won’t cooperate. I can’t do it.

I’m going to die.

Ten months earlier:

It was cold. I felt water around me. Feeling these things reassured me that I hadn’t passed out yet. I was still conscious, which was horrible. Sometimes it’s better to just stop feeling, to stop thinking.

My usual suicide attempts had already worn out the agency and my so-called “father.” He had even hired security to keep me from fulfilling my promise.

Soon, the numbing cold disappeared from my body, and I felt hands pulling me to the surface.

I couldn’t tell if my body was very light or if he was just very strong. But when I came back to reality, I was lying on the ground.

I couldn’t help but start coughing; the water in my lungs was beginning to feel irritating.

“We need to head back to the agency in five minutes. Your father wants to talk to you.”

Great.

They couldn’t even give me a moment to breathe. But it doesn’t matter—it never did.

I ignored the comment, which I think irritated him. I could tell by the disdainful look in his eyes. I was used to it.

I remember, as a kid, begging some higher god to end this misery. But of course, how can you beg something or someone that doesn’t exist?

---

If it hadn’t been for my “bodyguard,” I wouldn’t have even gone to see my father. It was tedious and exhausting. Talking to him took years off my life.

But here I was, standing before the grand door to his office, knocking lightly and waiting for him to give me permission to enter.

An overwhelming silence followed before he finally said, “Come in.”

I entered. There he was, sitting with his hands clasped together, resting on them. I didn’t speak. I waited for him to go first.

“Osamu, how have you been?” He probably already knew about the suicide attempt from minutes earlier. Not only was I soaked with cold water, but someone must’ve informed him as well. "I have something to tell you.”

“Get to the point.”

I could see a small, twisted smirk forming at the corner of his mouth.

“Lately, you’ve become lazier. We let you go solo in the music world because of your constant complaints about your bandmates. We let it slide because, for some reason, your mediocre voice is adored by your fangirls. But you haven’t released an album in six months. Have you even started writing one?”

He paused, waiting for me to respond. I didn’t.

“No, you haven’t even started. Great. Well, since you’ve become so useless, I thought about kicking you out of the company. But I can’t do that. So, to annoy you, I found the perfect partner for you. But there’s a catch—you’ll have to convince him.”

I stared at him for a moment. He was serious. I turned and headed for the door.

“I’m not recruiting someone who’s probably more mediocre than I am.”

Mori remained silent until I opened the door.

“If you do, I’ll fire the bodyguards.”

…

Damn it.

And just like that, I found myself among a crowd of young people around my age. The oldest among them couldn’t have been more than two years older than me. It was one of those typical places where teenagers gather to play—an arcade.

Mori hadn’t given me any information about the guy I was supposed to recruit. His words were, “You’ll know him when you see him. His name is Chuuya.”

I always hated when he said things like that. How was I supposed to know who he was? Should I yell his name until someone turned around? Was he dressed as a clown or something? Still, Mori was never wrong, and as much as I hated to admit it, he was right.

And how could he not be? Just as I was about to leave (since I was never a fan of crowds), I spotted a redhead—a little short, if you ask me—in a leather jacket and a half-ponytail “arguing” with another guy. They seemed close. And since interrupting was my specialty, I approached them.

“Hi,” I greeted, trying to sound friendly. “Excuse me… but are you Chuuya by any chance?” I asked, fixing my gaze on him.

He looked confused as he answered, scanning me up and down.

“Uh, yeah. Why?”

Bingo.

“Great. My name is Osamu Dazai. Just call me Dazai, not my full name. I’m a singer, in case you didn’t know. I’m part of Mori’s Company, a music industry giant. One of the most famous ones, by the way.”

If Mori had taught me anything, it was that no one would want to join unless they knew the place offered advantages and could take them to the top. So, I had to exaggerate.

“Mori, who runs the company, has heard about you and wants you to join to form a band—with me, of course.

Just in case you didn’t know, I’m part of Mori’s company, a music industry. One of the most famous, by the way.

I didn’t understand the expression on Chuuya’s face, but before he could even open his mouth, a girl with pink-dyed hair spoke faster.

—Dazai Osamu? —she asked, sounding excited. The other guy beside her nudged her, and she cleared her throat. —Whoever you are… I’m sorry to say that Chuuya already has a band, our band.

I smiled without my eyes; my gaze never moved from the boy’s blue eyes.

—Chuuya, what’s your decision?

I noticed his little forehead furrow.

—Are you an idiot? —I didn’t expect that reaction. —Or didn’t you hear? I already have a group, besides. —His gaze scanned my whole body; I felt naked in front of her— Do you want to be? There have been girls staring at you behind you for a while. Should I assume you’re famous or something?

… Well, after all, I was more known for having fangirls.

—And even if you are… —He spoke again—, I wouldn’t join even if they paid me; you have the face of a psychopath.

Oh? That was new.

—For your information, darling, this face you describe as “a psychopath’s” has been in many magazines… and I’ve been named one of the most handsome men in all of Japan. Apparently, you have bad taste.

—Or maybe this so-called “Mori” paid the magazines; after all, it sounds like he could do that.

—Pff. Do you really think he would take the time and dedication to do that? No, he wouldn’t, but do you know what he would do? Buy your whole band and you in a matter of seconds, I mean, for now, you’re priceless. You’re just a band of teenagers who think they can make music when clearly they can barely keep the band together.

—What do you know about us? —Now the guy with grayish hair, a bit taller than the redhead, decided to speak— You act like you know everything in the world, but you don’t even know the name of the band…

—Uh? Is that even important? … But, as I said, I’m so kind and a good person that —I raised a finger— I’ll give you a chance, what’s it called?

—Sheep.

… I stayed silent for a few seconds, thinking I hadn’t heard right, “Sheep”, wasn’t that… an animal?

I couldn’t help but start laughing; it was so funny, I had never heard a worse name. I even had to hold my stomach; I felt like I was going to fall from laughing.

I heard a couple of shouts; probably directed at me; they were Chuuya’s “friends”, but I couldn’t help but see their eyes; they looked at me with hatred.

I smiled; I don’t know if it was noticeable, it didn’t matter; I liked seeing spoiled kids angry because of me.

Ignoring the others at my sides, I gave the orange-haired guy a business card.

—If you regret your decision, come find me.

Without letting him speak or even look at me, I turned around with my usual air of superiority, to annoy him a little more, and headed back to the agency.

As soon as I arrived, someone was already waiting for me, and I wished they weren’t.

—So? How did it go?

He asked, I bit my lip and kept walking, ignoring him. Passing by him without even looking made me feel strange, uncomfortable. Still, I had the urge to run away as fast as possible. How weird it was, right? Passing by without greeting someone who you were always close to? … who was there in your worst moments, talking to you, looking at you, and being in each of your thoughts.

—… Aren’t you going to greet me? But we’re such good friends.

I was going to walk past him, it was obvious I was going to do that, I wasn’t the type to stay in uncomfortable situations for the other person’s pleasure, but when I was about to leave, I felt him grab my arm. A chill ran down my spine.

—Oda. —I spoke; miraculously, my voice came out from my throat, firmer than I expected.

He seemed to understand, as his grip weakened, releasing my arm.

I stayed still for a few seconds before leaving. I glanced at him sideways, was that his face? I remembered it differently; he used to look happy, more alive.

I headed to the office; it wasn’t a nice place even though it had one of the best decorations; every time I entered, I felt like cold air slapped my face.

I knocked on the door waiting to enter; I couldn’t pass without permission. It wasn’t something I wanted.

It didn’t take long for me to get the permission.

I entered. He was with Elise, trying on some dresses. I never understood her “taste” in boys; it seemed disgusting to me. I remember that when I turned fourteen (a year before the present), He replaced me with Elise.

I was happy.

I am.

—How did it go?

I tilted my head to the side before answering. Although my face hadn’t made any expression, I could feel a shiver when I heard those words. It reminded me of him, of what had just happened.

I wonder if Mori noticed.

—Meh. The kid is unbearable, he has an air of superiority and talks as if he owns the world. Do you really think someone like him would work for a company like this?

—Mm… —he stayed silent, thinking for a few seconds, then gave me a small smile— Didn’t you hear him sing?

—Uh? How was I supposed to have heard that? It was an arcade, not a stadium.

—You know… they usually do street concerts in that arcade; when it closes, they rent it.

I looked at him sideways and walked away; I wasn’t in the mood to talk to him or listen to him.

I left Mori’s office with a suffocating feeling. I couldn’t get out of my head what had happened with Odasaku. As soon as I stepped onto the street, the icy wind hit my face, as if it wanted to punish me, reminding me how soaked I still was after my useless attempt to end everything. But the cold was the least of it. What really burned inside was the damn encounter with Chuuya.

When I got to my apartment, I dropped the wet coat wherever and threw myself on the bed without even thinking about changing. I closed my eyes, but the images from the arcade kept playing over and over: Chuuya’s defiant face, his voice full of contempt. There was something in him that haunted me, something I couldn’t let go, something that pushed me to want to see him again, even if it was just to feel that frustration, to confirm that he was just as lost as I was.

I woke up with the first light of day, feeling trapped, as if I couldn’t breathe. It made no sense, but I needed to do something. I decided I would go back to the arcade that night when it closed. Mori had hinted at it, and although many times I could get away with not going, I knew this time wouldn’t be the same.

If Chuuya did those street concerts, I had to see him. I needed to.

Night came, and I dragged myself to the arcade, with my mask of indifference barely held together. From outside, the music filtered through the walls, hitting my chest. I stayed still, listening. The voice echoing inside was fierce, full of something I couldn’t ignore. A shiver ran through my body.

I entered without making a sound, without anyone noticing me, and there he was. Chuuya, in the center of it all, pouring himself into every word, every note. His voice, louder and more raw than I ever imagined, had something that tore me apart inside. It was as if all his pain, all his rage, was made of the same desperation I had been dragging around. And I couldn’t stop listening to him.

He seemed impressed by the way you came in

“Tell us a story, I know you’re not boring”

I was afraid that you would not insist

“You sound so sleepy, just take this, now leave me”

I said, please don’t slow me down if I’m going too fast

You’re in a strange part of our town

Yeah, the night’s not over, you’re not trying hard enough

Our lives are changing lanes, you ran me off the road

The wait is over, I’m now taking over

You’re no longer laughing, I’m not drowning fast enough

Now every time that I look at myself

“I thought I told you, this world is not for you”

The room is on fire as she’s fixing her hair

“You sound so angry, just calm down, you found me”

I said, please don’t slow me down if I’m going too fast

You’re in a strange part of our town

Yeah, the night’s not over, you’re not trying hard enough

Our lives are changing lanes, you ran me off the road

The wait is over, I’m now taking over

You’re no longer laughing, I’m not drowning fast enough

The lyrics weren’t the important part; in my opinion, they never are in songs—it was his voice. His voice and how it resonated against the walls, how his tone shifted after every verse, how I could hear the effort he put into making every note perfect, and how he would bite his lip anxiously every time he paused to let the instruments take over, waiting for his turn. That, that was what mattered.

After the concert, I waited patiently. I stayed in the shadows until Chuuya finished his last song. There was something in his voice I couldn’t ignore.

When I finally saw him alone, I approached him slowly.

“That voice… I didn’t expect it from someone so small.” I let the words spill out with a faint smile, knowing they would irritate him.

Chuuya turned to me, his eyes filled with disdain. I guess he wasn’t happy to see me again.

“You again? What makes you think I want to hear your nonsense?” he said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

I smiled again, more out of amusement than anything else. It wasn’t hard to provoke him, but I wasn’t here just for that.

“Oh, I’m not here to convince you of anything,” I replied, feigning indifference. “I was just enjoying the show. I was surprised by what I saw; for a moment, I thought maybe—just maybe—you could be more than a teenager playing in an arcade. Maybe you do have some talent after all…”

I watched his frown deepen. I’d hit a nerve. I knew his insecurities were there, waiting to be exploited. And I was more than happy to oblige.

After all, his personality was clear as day. His clothes, his hair, and his voice spoke for him.

“And what do you know?” he shot back, his voice tense. “You’re just an arrogant guy with too much undeserved fame. I make music because I care, not for money or fans.”

I looked at him, this time with more interest. His passion was undeniable, and that fascinated me.

“I know, and that’s what intrigues me about you,” I replied, letting my tone soften slightly. “You don’t care about the superficial. But how long are you going to keep pretending to be the leader of a band with no future? I’ve seen what you can do. You’ve got talent, Chuuya, but here you are, playing in an arcade. Do you really think that’s what you deserve?”

Silence.

But I knew my words were getting to him. The tension in his shoulders, the way he clenched his fists… He didn’t need to answer for me to know I’d struck a chord.

“Mori isn’t an idiot,” I continued, though I sometimes thought otherwise, maintaining eye contact. “He sees the same thing I do. He knows you have untapped potential. With him, you could go much further. I’m not asking you to change who you are. Just think about whether you want to keep being another sheep or if you’d rather be something much bigger. After all… sheep are nothing but prey.”

His gaze hardened; the hatred he felt for me was obvious… but at the same time, in those angry eyes, I could see something else—indecision.

He still said nothing, but the silence spoke for him. I moved a little closer and calmly handed him a card from the Agency.

“When you decide you’re ready to stop being the hunted, call me. I won’t promise it’ll be easy, but I promise it’ll be better than this.”

I turned around before he could say anything else. I knew my words had left a mark. There was no need for him to admit it then and there. It was just a matter of time.

I left the arcade, letting the weight of my words sink in. Chuuya didn’t know it yet, but his decision was already made. And soon, he’d be exactly where I wanted him to be.

Walking through the empty, dark streets, the echo of his voice lingered in my mind. It was clear he still had to improve in many ways; sometimes, he strained his voice too much, which could hurt it, and his high notes… left a lot to be desired. But despite it all, what stood out the most was the rage and passion in his singing—something I had lost long ago, if I ever had it at all.

Suddenly, Odasaku’s image invaded my mind without permission. I couldn’t help it. Every time I got close to someone, every time I involved someone else in my chaos, his face appeared as a warning. I didn’t want to see it, hear it, feel it, or touch it. I wanted it to disappear.

A sharp pain shot through my arm; it itched, it tormented me. No matter how much I scratched, the pain wouldn’t go away. I could only dig my nails into my skin until it reddened, enduring it until I got to my apartment.

When I arrived, the silence greeted me, as always, along with the night’s cold. I didn’t consider it a home; I didn’t deserve warmth. With each step, the pain intensified. I had to get it out. I had to get rid of it; I had to do something.

I tore the bandages off my arm. The old cuts were still healing; some scabs had formed. Was that what itched? I peeled each one off, making my arm start bleeding, but the itch persisted, growing stronger. Each drop of blood only increased the itch.

With effort, I grabbed the box cutter I kept in the drawer and began to “draw” on my arm. As the cut deepened, the itching disappeared.

I had to stop when I saw my arm trembling. After all, if something shakes, it’s because it hurts, right?

I carelessly threw the cutter aside. I ended up staining the wooden floor with my blood, filling the place with its scent. I was used to it; it didn’t disgust me. I lay down on the bed, letting myself bleed and staining the white sheets. I wasn’t going to die; the cuts weren’t deep enough. I just closed my eyes.

It burned—it burned too much; pain this intense was the only thing that reminded me I was alive.

The blood ran down my arm like little rivers, tracing paths on my pale skin.

Despite the chaos in my body, in some ironic way, I felt calm. The physical suffering was, somehow, easier to bear than the weight of my existence.

The cold and pain enveloped me with a kind of tenderness I’d never felt before. I was alone.

But the blood warmed me as if someone were embracing me, and the cold reminded me of reality.

My ears were still ringing from the loud music at the "concert," yet I could hear my heart pounding a mile a minute.

The images of the night kept replaying in my head—Chuuya and his defiant gaze, the rage in his voice, and… Odasaku had always been Odasaku.

Almost every night, I wondered why I was still here, why I tortured only myself. He gave me peace, and now he was just as bad, if not worse, than Mori.

I also thought about the "why" of so many things.

Why hadn’t I ended it all at once?

Why did I keep clinging to this miserable life, full of wrong decisions and wasted opportunities? Every attempt, every single one, had failed, and each day seemed more absurd than the last. Mori still controlled everything, no matter what I did.

Mori's words echoed in my head: "Chuuya has potential." No. It wasn’t tormenting me; I feared what he represented. Chuuya—young, full of life, and driven by a fury that made him stand out from the rest.

I didn’t care about that boy’s career, but he had something I wasn’t born with: passion.

I opened my eyes abruptly, my heavy breathing filling the room as usual. I forced myself to stand up despite feeling utterly drained. I wanted to remember why I was still alive.

I walked to the bathroom mirror.

My mirror… It reflected someone I barely recognized.

My face, marked by a lack of sleep, with dark circles and pale skin.

I was tired, exhausted by everything. And yet, I kept breathing, walking, surviving.

A bitter laugh escaped my dry, cracked lips.

It was all pathetic. I was waiting for a miracle to change my life—one that would never come.

I glanced at my arm. The blood had started to dry, but the emptiness remained. Bigger than ever.

I left the bathroom and glanced at the box cutter again. Just one cut—a deep, precise one—and all this suffering would end. But I didn’t even have the strength to end it all. I was a coward. A coward who couldn’t do something as simple as dying. A coward living in misery and destined to perish in it.

Once again, I let myself fall onto the bed, staring at the ceiling and feeling that familiar pressure in my chest.

Tonight, I wouldn’t sleep. I never did. The nightmares were always there—Oda tormenting me or old memories of Mori.

Everything blended in my mind, creating chaos I couldn’t escape.

And at the heart of that chaos was me. Alone.

The numbing cold of morning woke me, though not enough to make me move.

I opened my eyes with barely any strength, taking in the mess I had made just hours before. My poorly bandaged arm, the bloodstained sheets, and the metallic smell permeating the room.

The silence of the apartment was deafening—the kind of silence that forces you to think about what you’re trying to forget.

For a moment, I thought about staying there, letting the noise of my thoughts drive me mad, but at least I wouldn’t have to face anyone.

But the day would eventually drag me back into this endless story—Mori, Chuuya, and my inner void.

I got up from my bed without much haste. My body felt heavy, as if it weren’t mine.

I removed the bandages; they were starting to itch.

I looked at the cuts. They weren’t deep—nothing too serious, at least. But the pain was still there. Not in the skin. Deeper.

I ended up taking a quick shower, letting the cold water fall over me, trying to wash away what I’d done. Of course, it didn’t work; the scars wouldn’t disappear, no matter how much soap I used.

I stepped out of the shower, dressed, and rewrapped my arm in fresh bandages. I wasn’t ashamed of my scars, nor of my body, but I didn’t want people to pity me for what I’d done to myself.

The phone began vibrating on the table, a barely noticeable sound in the silence.

At first, I ignored it—it was probably just another annoying message. It almost always was.

But the sound distracted me. I wanted it to stop.

Before I realized it, I’d grabbed the phone and read the message.

"Let’s meet," it said, followed by an unfamiliar address. No name. No context. Just a mysterious location.

I stared at the screen, doubtful, letting the words echo in my mind.

"Chuuya?" Though he’d made his disdain for me clear last time, his final look had told me things wouldn’t end there.

I put on a jacket and left the apartment, letting the morning chill engulf me.

The place I was headed to was a café I barely remembered—a spot that would go unnoticed unless you were looking for it. It didn’t make sense for Chuuya to choose such a discreet place, but who knew? I barely knew him, after all.

I walked without hurry, thinking about how I would handle the meeting.

When I arrived, I saw the small café from a distance. There was no one outside, but through the window, I could make out a few shadows inside. Something told me to be ready for anything.

I pushed the door open and stepped inside. The warm air hit me immediately—a stark contrast to the hours before. The atmosphere was charged, but not in the way I’d expected. Sitting at a table in the back were the pink-haired girl and the gray-haired boy from the arcade.

I stopped for a moment. In that instant, I knew it hadn’t been Chuuya who sent the message. The atmosphere, the looks—it all made sense. It was them.

A slow, almost imperceptible smile formed on my lips. I approached the table, but this time without the urgency or expectation with which I had arrived. Now I understood the game.

“So, you called me,” I said in a soft tone, but one full of certainty.

Both of them looked at me, discomfort painted on their faces, as if they wanted to be somewhere else.

The girl spoke first, her voice barely a whisper.

“We wanted to talk to you… about Chuuya.”

I sat down in front of them, clasping my hands on the table. I knew where this was heading, and though I enjoyed playing with expectations, this time I let them speak first.

“Chuuya… Chuuya doesn’t listen. And while we respect him, we think we’ve reached a point where we need to make decisions for ourselves. We don’t want to be the vocalist’s shadow forever.”

There it was. The nail in the coffin that would ensure Chuuya for me. He himself had given them the opportunity to betray him, and they’d taken it with the desperation only youth and insecurity could generate.

“So, have you decided?” I asked calmly.

The girl nodded slowly.

“We talked about it. Tonight, after the concert, we’ll end the band. It’ll be the last time we play together. After that, we’ll each go our own way.”

I leaned toward them, letting my words be like sharp knives—soft, but cutting.

“Chuuya doesn’t know, does he?”

The boy shook his head, swallowing hard.

“No… he doesn’t. We don’t want to confront him. He’d take it badly, and the decision’s already made.”

I stifled a laugh. At the slightest pressure, loyalty vanished, and they crumbled before me.

“Fine,” I said, rising smoothly. “I’ll take care of Chuuya.”

I walked away from the table, but before leaving, I turned back to look at them one last time.

“And… don’t do anything stupid tonight. Let everything unfold as it should.”

I left the café with a faint sense of triumph simmering in my chest. I would be Chuuya’s only option if he wanted to continue his career.

---

Hours later, I found myself back outside the arcade—the place where everything was about to collapse and, once again, where I would emerge victorious.

From outside, I could hear the music, the voices, and, once more, Chuuya’s voice rising above all. But this time, things would be different. Chuuya would no longer be one of the prey; he would become a hunter, as he should have been from the start. And the best part? He didn’t even know it yet.

I waited patiently in the shadows until the concert ended. I didn’t want to draw attention.

From a distance, I saw Chuuya greeting his "friends," but his expression changed when the boy said something I couldn’t hear.

I watched as he slowly turned back, barely moving as he spoke, his fists clenched.

“It’s done.” I knew it. Everything was over, and something new had begun—for me.

I stepped out of the arcade, leaning against a wall next to the exit door. I wasn’t going to overwhelm him as soon as he walked out; I’d wait for him to come to me.

And he did. A few minutes later, he emerged. His eyes were slightly red—had he cried? His lips were raw, probably from biting them.

“Well, if it isn’t Nakahara himself.”

He didn’t speak. He looked at me, tired.

“That was quite the show you put on in there.”

He lowered his head for a few seconds, gritting his teeth.

“... Is the spot in the company still available?”

I feigned surprise and offered a polite smile.

“Oh? Changed your mind? You know… if it were up to me, I’d have given that spot to someone else by now. But my father is so generous, he kept it open… so I suppose it still is.”

“Can I…” He paused. “Join?”

“Of course.”

I smiled again. I had won.

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usagi-chwan · 2 months ago

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I won't do it again, I promise...

🌸 Characters in this chapter: Fukuzawa, Chuuya, Dazai (Agency), Yosano and Kôyô.

🌸 Spoilers: a rough knowledge of Chuuya's and Yosano's past is recommended to be able to read their parts. No spoilers otherwise!

This time I was asked how certain characters (those with more parental instincts than others, very exactly) react when their child does something stupid.

I have only one thing left to say: let's do it!

Fukuzawa

- I know in advance what some people will think, but no; the child in question here is not Ranpo.

- Well, as far as his (blood) child is concerned, the reprimand depends on the seriousness of the mistake.

- If it is a very small mistake, he will simply say “just don't do it again”, but no irritation or anything like that. On top of that, there is a good chance that his child will have learned the puppy dog eyes technique in the process, thus lessening the intensity of the reprimand.

- If it is a big mistake, on the other hand, anger can easily be read on his face, and an angry Fukuzawa is a scary Fukuzawa.

- Frowns, folded arms and a slightly dark look are enough. He has virtually nothing to say; the child understand immediately that they made a big mistake.

- Generally speaking, Fukuzawa is very calm (as is often the case), and educates his child with a certain authority, but one that remains gentle nonetheless. I am not sure how clear this is...? 😅

Chuuya

- He spoils his child a little too much, but he does not see the problem. He himself was not blessed with a lot of toys and love as a child and adolescent, so he makes sure his offspring do not go through the same thing he did.

- He has read dozens of manuals and articles for advice on how best to raise his child, but honestly he did not really need it; parenting is in his blood!

- On a day-to-day basis he is rather calm in the way he educates, but is quick to lose his patience if his child does something stupid, however small (although he adapts the level of his anger to the seriousness of the mistake).

- Even if he hates to see his child sad, if they have made a big mistake they deserve to be lectured accordingly, accompanied by a small punishment.

- Chuuya is absolutely against spanking and that sort of thing; as a punishment, he prefers sitting in the corner for a loooong time, copying endless lines... Basically, staying in one place without moving for a couple of minutes. And, as his child takes after him in certain ways (notably the fact that they like to move above all else), the little culprit welcomes this kind of punishment with unprecedented dread. They will never do it again, that is for sure!

- Basically, Chuuya is a super-cool dad, except when you do something stupid.... And the cute face does not work on him, unfortunately. He has learned to overcome it, unlike Fukuzawa.

Dazai

- We are talking about the most irresponsible father in the entire universe.

- My child does something stupid? Let's do it with him and help him to the best of our ability - the more the merrier, after all! Besides, spending as much time as possible with your child is the best way to forge strong bonds and reinforce your child's education, is it not?

- As mentioned in a previous headcanon, one of the first things this child will learn is a top-ten list of the best ways to annoy Uncle Kunikida (and then do the same with a certain horribly slobbery orange slug, as a little bonus. All we need now is for the other horrible pest with the hat to be jealous of Kunikida!).

- It is hard for me to imagine a mischief for which Dazai would become as serious as he was during his years in the Mafia, or even remotely serious... Perhaps something that endangered the life of the person who did it, and therefore his own child?

- Aside from this kind of highly serious nonsense, I think Dazai will take everything lightly. A responsible and exemplary father, in short...

-...

- Well... I do not even believe it myself...

Yosano

- She is rather permissive with her child, knowing her own dark past and childhood, where playing like someone her own age was repeatedly denied her.

- Unlike Chuuya, however, little misdemeanors are not really a source of irritation for her; she calmly settles for a slight frown, while observing her child attentively.

- As a rule, they know right away if they have done something stupid, and know perfectly well that there is no point in showing off; they just bow their head, clearly guilty. And, seeing this, Yosano simply strokes their hair with a light sigh, making them promise not to do it again.

- But she is much firmer when the nonsense gets out of hand.

- Generally speaking, unlike the hostility she shows towards those who annoy her, or when dealing with her beloved "test subjects", her teaching is gentle and calm, patient as can be. She always does her best to put herself in her child's shoes, to understand the reasons for the mistake, but still manages to be objective in her sermons.

- But, if her child ends up making the mistake several times on purpose, they can count on dear Mom to punish her child appropriately; a few small household chores will do the trick just fine... It all depends for whom, of course.

Kôyô

- She, too, knows how to be rather gentle in everyday life by her child's side; but this changes, sometimes completely, when the child commits the infamous blunder.

- For once, an irritated Kôyô is simply frightening, and there is usually no need for her to say much during the sermon.

- She does not really enjoy expressing herself during these moments, anyway; indeed, she fears she will find herself in the role of Mafia executive and head of the interrogation section, and thus totally ruin the bond that links her to her child, if she lets far too strong and aggressive emotions show through her words.

- So, and her child understands this perfectly... The quieter their mom is during sermons, the more upset she is.

The draft of the requested headcanon is already done, so it should not be long before the final version is ready :) until then... Byyyye!

- But there is one thing that remains and that Kôyô does not repress: body language. And the look on her face in such cases, when her child stands before her with downcast eyes after a slip-up, is terrifying enough to overcome any desire to repeat it.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #anime #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #fluff #bsd headcanons #ozaki kouyou #fukuzawa yukichi #yosano akiko

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strwcherri · 5 months ago

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Hello!!

Something that has recently come to mind is the impeccable usage of coats in Bungo Stray Dogs, and their different meanings — so I just wanted to quickly examine them!! (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

There may be spoilers for Stormbringer ahead!^^

UNBUTTONED COAT/OPEN COAT

Throughout characters such as Dazai, Tsujimura and Chuuya, we can see the pattern of open coats/jackets throughout their designs. I believe it can be summarized as 'resignation'. Within Dazai Osamu's The Setting Sun, self-resignation is a concept reappearing throughout the whole story. To resign oneself, is defined as submitting to something unpleasant in which you have no way of changing.

For Dazai, it can be taken as Oda's wish is something he must fulfill — and my particular reason for thinking it was unpleasant for him, was because of the conversation he has with Kyouka during season 2, detailing the struggle between being a good person when having a history of doing bad deeds.

Possessing a skillset which encourages him to remain Port Mafia black, how on earth is he supposed to assimilate to the light? Additionally, when he asks Atsushi, 'Do I look like such a good person?', Atsushi responds positively. His self-perception does not align with being in the ADA, but regardless — due to his friend — he has resigned himself to it.

For Tsujimura, though I have yet to read Gaiden, I believe this is the resignation she has come to after the legacy her mother left her, which she strives overcome due to her complicated relationship with her.

For Chuuya, despite the attempts of The Flags, he can only resign himself to being in the Port Mafia. Though, it is not unpleasant to him, I believe it is moreso a case of him not really seeing himself anywhere else. Though he used to be a member of The Sheep, he was betrayed and no longer held a place there. The Port Mafia is his home, in the same way one cannot help but call home, well, home due to the sentimentalities towards it.

Essentially, I believe the open coat represents a doubtful resignation to one's position, however an unwavering desire, or internal promise to remain there. Of course, this may be flawed! But that's how I've perceived it so far.

CLOSED JACKET

The closed jacket is one that took a while for me to understand, to be quite frank. Examining the designs of Ango Sakaguchi, Chuuya's outfit from Stormbringer, Dazai's design in The Dark Era & Atsushi's design from BEAST, it's reasonable to believe it is a shield against something internal.

Ango Sakaguchi works for the government, the Special Division, and therefore is thrown into whatever role suitable to get the job done. This was explicit in The Dark Era, where Mori and Takeda discuss his safety for the permit. His suit is a representative of how he uses his job as a defense of his guilt over Oda's death. His role gives him a sense of agency, which he can tell himself, 'I had no choice, it was for the sake of my job'. The reason I assume Ango feels guilty is because of how he takes care of Dazai, in a way. During the DOA arc, he assists Dazai. I believe it was also revealed he had went to the seventh agency to clear Dazai's list of crimes, in memory of Oda.

On Chuuya, I believe in his timeline, he was recovering from the sharp betrayal of The Sheep, and growing into his role in the Port Mafia. Though he had a similar demeanor in Fifteen, I believe it becomes more clear he is less trusting and more guarded about his relationships. His demeanor of being irritated or distant is merely a facade to keep him from being hurt once again.

With Dazai, his coat is buttoned up, which can be viewed as Dazai using his role and duty as a Port Mafia executive to shield him from the overwhelming indifference he possesses on why he should live at all. This is also voiced when he confesses it to Oda, feeling if he got closer to the raw instincts of humanity by being in the Port Mafia, he may achieve some sense of meaning.

Lastly, BEAST Atsushi was one of the points I think is most explicitly explained to the audience. He says:

In BEAST, Atsushi ensnares himself with Death to keep him from his fear of it. His jacket is zipped up, covering a portion of his face in pitch black. The cause of this is his guilt towards what he did to the orphanage director. Atsushi at his core, is a guilty person, irrespective of whether he has committed a crime or not. For BEAST, there is no alternative environment for him to atone, and leaves him isolated with Death.

Overall, I believe that the closed/buttoned up coat represents characters using their roles and duties as a shield from an internal anguish which they suffer from. Usually, this coat gets switched out for an open jacket, which could symbolize a form if closure with that chapter of their internal conflict.

COAT OVER THE SHOULDERS

As well as symbolizing authority, it may also symbolize a burden given to the character by society or another.

For example, to return to Chuuya again, he carries the burden of killing The Flags, however, it is also something that cemented him in the position of being a staple executive (that is, if he wasn't one already) due to his loyalty. I believe this is also intrinsically tied to his position as an executive, finding himself once again in a position of leadership.

Another example is Dazai, specifically at age eighteen. Mori views him as an heir of sorts, due to his intelligence and what he perceived as detachment from sentimentalities, which is a burden onto Dazai. He has no such desire or fondness of the position, constantly disregarding ranks and importance when befriending Oda and Ango. Furthermore, as he rushes to Oda's side as he bleeds out, his coat flies off his shoulders. He forsaken his authority, and loses his burden for the sake of Oda.

There are other characters with such a burden, such as Ayatsuji from Gaiden and Paul Verlaine — however I am unqualified to include them in this analysis because of my lack of knowledge on the two and their materials.

Overall, I believe it's such an interesting way to dress up characters whilst simultaneously discussing their journeys, even if that sounds pretentious. I look forward to seeing the progression of characters and, in general, the continuation of Bungo Stray Dogs.

Thank you for reading.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray thoughts #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #ango sakaguchi #to be honest I wrote this up because I thought I had my theory written up somewhere but... I didn't?? ??#So at least this can stay on archive for future use!!

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frost-eyed-autumn · 7 months ago

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@skilledsenses sent:

An exaggerated sigh as he shrugs, hands raised at his sides to add to his feelings. "It's been so long now, and you still can't let it go, now can you, Mr. Fancy Hat?" Ranpo shakes his head in dismay and another shrug. "Talk about being childish." Does he particularly care about how Chuuya felt during the time inside Poe's novel? Absolutely not. Is he getting tired of the younger continuously pointing fingers at him and acting hostile due to that? More than he probably thought possible, yes.

"Alright, alright. Here's the deal. I'm in a good mood today and seeing how you're stressed out with your silly little job, I'll be so kind to offer you my very expertise so you can finish up earlier and enjoy the holiday like every other person." Now that's not an offer anyone gets easily, not to mention that the consultation costs of the greatest detective alive doesn't come cheap, but ah, he supposes he can make a small exception in this particular case. "The culprit you're looking for is hiding with one of the groups opposing the Port Mafia, blending in with the masses tonight due to the festivities. If you're really clueless, try fishing." Now that must be more than enough hints for someone like Chuuya to understand, right?

He can thank Ranpo later. He'll accept some high quality chocolate and snacks, you're welcome.

It honestly doesn't take a lot of goading for Chuuya to feel his eye twitch in elevated irritation, for his pulse to beat a little louder in his ears dealing with this obnoxious jackass that had the nerve to call him childish. Maybe he was, a little bit. It wasn't exactly accurate to say he didn't hold grudges, but to hold the kind of grudge where he actually got pissed off just hearing about someone was uncommon and usually reserved for a certain shithead named Dazai.

But maybe that's just the thing. Ranpo's particular flavor of obnoxious could almost make him an identical twin to Dazai, and maybe that was part of what pissed him off so much.

Only part of it, of course. The similarities, he could have overlooked, if not for getting trapped in that damn book. And not just when he and the Agency were behaving as active threats towards one another, but even after the chaos had dwindled down. Still he had been left to figure his way out -- which he eventually did -- but it was annoying as shit. Especially when it meant that not only was he taken out of play from doing his job, he didn't even have a way of knowing what was going on outside or the status of his Boss's life.

So of course he held a fucking grudge. No one got between him and protecting his Boss like that and got off scott-free, even if he had to wait a while to cash in on that grudge. It was only by Mori's orders that they maintain a cease-fire that stayed him from pummeling the cocky bastard six feet into the dirt where he belonged. Even when the other was within easy distance and just so happened to end up in his path, holiday spirit or whatever be damned.

At first, he listens with an annoyed, clueless stare, turning over what Ranpo said in his mind. It itches on his tongue that if Ranpo really wants to help and not just be another irritation and waste of precious time on his list of many other irritations, he should be more straightforward. He hates when people are cryptic like that. Its just another similarity to shitty Dazai that makes him hate the other man all the more...

But maybe its those three or so years working alongside Dazai as his partner that's prepared him to deal with Ranpo, seeing as they both like to play a similar guessing game, and the most likely answer to the question he never asks comes to him quickly, furrowing a brow and touching a gloved finger to his chin.

"Fishing, huh...?" The port and the city canals were all too far away from the street festivals to be the answer, but there was always those stupid little fishing game booths... and there were only so many game booths set up in general, which narrowed the search area significantly. Could that be it...?

#Answered: skilledsenses #t: Holiday Hunting #skilledsenses #Canon verse #ic

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moonflowerfourever · 1 year ago

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Soukoku SFW Alphabets✨(Part 3)

Part 1, Part 2

O = Open (When would they start revealing things about themselves? Do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?)

Take one good look at them and think, 'Would they really reveal anything about themselves?' The answer is no, they don't reveal much about themselves. Words were never Soukoku's speciality. Telepathic understanding is more their thing. So yeah, they don't purposefully reveal anything about themselves to each other, they just see each other and just...understand. Dazai's predictions and calculations are almost always true, and the same goes for his observations about Chuuya, though the redhead manages to surprise Dazai himself in some moments. As for Chuuya, he mostly trusts his instincts when it comes to Dazai because he's subconsciously tuned to Dazai at all times.

P = Patience (How easily angered are they?)

Dazai has endless patience, but so does Chuuya. Their dynamic would never work out if any one of them did not have the patience. Chuuya may seem like he's angered too easily, but that's just him being irritated. It takes a lot for them to get angry. But when they do get angry, things'll get ugly. Chuuya becomes angry whenever someone poses a threat to his loved ones. If Dazai really becomes angry, then there's no telling why he's angry and what he'll do. So it's best to not make them angry at all.

Q = Quizzes (How much would they remember about each other? Do they remember every little detail mentioned in passing, or do they kind of forget everything?)

They remember every single thing about each other. That time when Chuuya said he liked a specific French wine? Dazai remembers it. That time when Dazai said that he hated high-pitched sounds? Chuuya remembers it. You can quiz them on every single detail about each other and they'd get every answer right. Dazai's observant mind notes literally everything(especially about Chuuya) and Chuuya just pays attention to Dazai and remembers stuff because at least one of them has to be good husband material.

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in their relationship?)

Many people would say that their first kiss was their most favourite, but Dazai and Chuuya shared their first kiss on a bloody battlefield, with corpses on the ground around them. While that is a favourite memory for both of them, it's not number one. For Dazai, his fav moment is when they held hands for the first time while fighting Rimbaud. For the first time in his life, Dazai felt a comforting warmth spread through his body, soothing his mind in an instant. Dazai didn't think about it at that time, but he knew he needed to feel that warmth again. Chuuya's favourite moment would be when they got married. It was a small wedding, with only a few close friends attending the ceremony, but it felt like a dream come true for Chuuya. He would never forget the way Dazai bent him in half to kiss him in the most endearing way possible. He still gets butterflies whenever he thinks about it.

S = Security (How protective are they? How would they protect each other? How would they like to be protected?)

They aren't very protective, because they know that their partner can handle any situation by themselves. But if push comes to shove, they won't hesitate to threaten or kill someone for each other. But this applies to everyone close to them, so there isn't any protective streak reserved just for their partner. They don't need it.

T = Try (How much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?)

A lot of effort goes into the dates Chuuya plans. Expensive restaurants, sometimes a honeymoon suite in an elite hotel, or tickets to some movie Dazai keeps yammering about. Dazai doesn't spend much money, but he makes them feel special anyway. The location and time don't matter much to him as long as he's with Chuuya. Chuuya is the same, but he also likes the romantic scenery, so he does his best to take Dazai to the most beautiful places he can afford. Dazai enjoys the scenery too, and makes sure that Chuuya feels well-loved for his efforts. Anniversaries are mostly spent at Chuuya's penthouse, with a romantic candlelit dinner, or with showering a lot of attention and love on each other with sweet words and praises.

U = Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

Dazai's bad habit is his way of hiding stuff that bothers him. Chuuya almost always finds out when something's wrong, but he can't tell what it is. He gets frustrated and sometimes he may even fight with Dazai because he feels that Dazai doesn't trust him. In the end, he always manages to coax the truth out of Dazai and does his best to see it through that Dazai is feeling better. It takes him a while to realise that Dazai does trust him, he just doesn't want Chuuya to worry. This makes him feel even more loved and he makes sure that Dazai knows Chuuya trusts and loves him as well.

V = Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Chuuya likes to make a strong first impression, and he likes to maintain the first impression. So he does his best to look good and spends a lot of time in his self-care routine. Dazai doesn't care much about appearances and self-care, but Chuuya makes sure that he follows a routine as well. But that's not to say that Dazai doesn't know how to dress. He knows how to make a lasting impression, or what type of impression it has to be, friendly or distant or threatening. But they don't care about looks to the point of being vain.

W = Whole (Would they feel incomplete without each other?)

Yup, definitely. They are each other's better half, and can't exist without the other. They may look like they're doing good without each other, but inside, they constantly feel like a part of them is missing. It's like asking Yin to exist without Yang and vice versa. In the end, they keep coming back to each other, like a moth to a flame.

X = Xtra (A random headcanon for them.)

Dazai likes having his hair and head played with. He likes it when Chuuya combs his hair, or when he plays with it absentmindedly, or when he scratches his nails against Dazai's scalp. It's comforting for him, and Dazai almost always falls asleep when Chuuya does that.

Chuuya likes to write poems. Some of them say how much Dazai annoys him, and some of them are cheesy as any lovestruck person would write. But most of them are about his life, all the stuff he went through, and they almost always have a philosophical touch to them. Dazai admires his poems and likes to read them in his free time.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?)

In a partner, Dazai doesn't like strict or close-minded people. He also doesn't like people who adhere to traditions and traditional values too much. He also doesn't like it when people try to change him. He knows he has a twisted view of the world, but he doesn't want to see it through the lenses of false hope and cheer others use. Chuuya doesn't like people who are too dependent or too clingy. Dazai may act dependent, but Chuuya knows full well that Dazai can handle things by himself. He also doesn't like people who only go after him for his wealth or status, it makes him doubt himself.

Z = Zzz (What are their sleep habits?)

Chuuya likes to starfish when sleeping, and many times Dazai has ended with a foot or an elbow into his stomach. Chuuya also drools when he's asleep, a fact that Dazai finds adorable. Dazai is a sleeptalker, and many times Chuuya has caught him saying questionable stuff like how he wants to skin Mori alive and feed him to dogs. Dazai also says a lot of sweet and a bit embarrassing things while asleep, and Chuuya never fails to tease him about it.

And that's about it! I hope you enjoyed it! (All of these are my headcanons)

#love #gay #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #headcanon #sfw alphabet #soukoku #dachuu #chuuya x dazai #dazai x chuuya #nakadaza #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #shipping

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foulfettedone · 4 months ago

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WHY BSD Latest chapter 121 or something I lost track and idgaf anymore...

Also no. Just....no.

Dazai’s latest chapter hallucination to Atsushi being like using fear to take action against another fear is… no. This just frustrates me because I'm seeing Dazai still just glorified for being an absolute fuck all logic kind of character who uses negative reinforcement to push the plot forward and he really doesn't do much to actually challenge his own view on the world for the better. There is no one to actually challenge this stagnant bandaged mummy and it SHOWS. Chuuya is a poor excuse because again....queer baiting... I read somewhere that according to official BSD wiki, "there are no defined LGBTQ+ ships in BSD" and I'm like...what the fuck does that mean? Kafka himself 'claimed' Sokoku was fucking canon back in the early 2010's. So this is just bullhonky. He's backtracking and yet he needs to keep the shipping fanbase for these ships appeased so he continues to see-saw on his actual stance in terms of what is canon relationships and what isn't. Same with Yumeno Q. He actually stated that Yumeno Q was in fact a 'They/Them' a while ago, but apparently that's a lie too.

ANYWAYS: The thing I have a problem with the most is just this execution for the latest chapter and here's WHY:

I understand that Atsushi is supposed to represent the little everyday guy who isn’t some anime hero protagonist but also… even characters in non anime do have some sort of character development. Even if it’s that they cannot change, that is their development.

The thing is Atsushi is meant to grow and evolve and he is just… stagnant. Even if some people relate to him not being a superhero, he still needs to grow himself as a character. People can be afraid of things outside of their control, but the messaging just feels like BSD condones having intense executive dysfunction as the accepted behavior… and so when a random act of sacrifice pops up it’s kinda like wait, what just happened? Character see-saws on this damn ride of character development like the same way the ADA skirts so many fucking government laws.

I’d argue that even if Atsushi is literally supposed to be a scaredy cat, then he should be turning his fear into strength, and insecurity into resolve, in order to actually do something, anything at this point to show that as a person, he is capable of proving something to himself, not just those around him. It’s true that in real life, there is raw inability to always be able to push oneself to actually be able to have that confidence in themself. I get it cuz I’ve been there my whole life. But…I just feel like it goes back and forth so much in this manga and not just for Atsushi, but other compelling characters that really could have been fleshed out way more but were only given surface level representation.

People are complicated and I won't dispute that to be in this situation as an outsider would be fucking terrifying. I absolutely get the flight or fight pumping through one's veins but still feeling absolutely powerless to do anything. But that's the real world. I like the idea that powers in this one isn't a substitute for actual inner resolve and strength though. Powers are a perk but they're not what actually drive these characters to want to be better versions of themselves for those they care about even if it is eating away at them inside and that is something I love that BSD does well…for the Bar Lupin Trio especially.

It’s really the only reason I’ve stuck it out for so long cuz I want Oda to come back and live with the orphans again or whatever weird shit Kafka is gonna pull out of his ass next. Including a potential self insert, just watch him do this and I called it since 2021. Anyhoowww, as it stands, he is still cowardly, flat, and rather irritating because he has amazing incredible moments of clarity and then he just default setting resets. Again, I understand that he is supposed to represent a ‘real’ person’s perspective but I just cannot accept it as an excuse to deny him his own character evolvement in this manga. This is totally open to discussion by the way. I actually read someone's interesting response (lost it now) but I liked how they actually pointed out that Atsushi represents the small guy who is always pressured by others to be a certain way before he's ready. I think that's an interesting perspective, and I really liked that food for thought. However, I would also just point out that while it may have made him more relatable for some people, what is it actually doing for himself? He is still at this point waiting for Dazai (hallucination or not) to basically tell him what he should do, think, act, behave. We're expected to buy into this idea that Atsushi is independent, somehow, sometimes from Dazai but he really has become Dazai's shadow right now. It is obvious that even the author is aware that without Dazai's presence, Atsushi just will not actually function. He will just shut down. The problem is, if you can't even stand up for yourself how can you find the strength to stand up for others?

I think I relate in an interesting way to both Atsushi and Dazai, it's why I find them the two most compelling characters in the show. But that's a separate diatribe for another rant hahaha. Akutagawa I'd argue actually has had the most character development in this entire circus de Bungou and I am happy to see how his character has stiffly progressed throughout the series.

Don't get me wrong, I love Atsushi Nakajima. He's such a sweet traumatized baby, and I want him to find peace with himself at some point on his journey. But, rarely is the tiger actually addressed, and Atsushi still sees himself as separate from his Tiger ... I think it'd be interesting going forwards to see if Kafka bothers to strengthen that bond between boy and his inner beast. Anyhoo... thanks for reading this diatribe :D

#bungou stray dogs #bsd angst #bsd analysis

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astro-can · 2 years ago

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Meaning of Life | soukoku | Chapter Two

"ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡɪʟʟɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴅɪᴇ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴍᴇ?"

Nakahara Chuuya’s one wish in life is for Dazai Osamu to disappear forever. Or at least, that’s what he thinks. Dazai Osamu’s one wish in life is to find a beautiful woman to commit double suicide with. Or at last, that’s what he wants Chuuya to think.

a short soukoku fanfiction (around 3-4 chapters) Chapter Two tw: suicide and blood word count: 1.3k this chapter doesn't have much action. chapter three will be more entertaining.

Two days later, it was Saturday.

The south docks were usually very busy, as it was where most foreign cargo came and went. Which meant that there were also a lot of foreign people, many who couldn’t understand or speak Japanese fluently. Chuuya kept a lookout for any members of the Guild he knew, ready for a fight just in case he ran into them. During the Guild battle, he and Dazai had gotten back together as Twin Dark for one more mission - destroy the Guild members guarding Q and get the young child back. Back then, Chuuya had used ‘Corruption’ because he trusted Dazai. And he still does…it's just that, whenever Chuuya thinks of Dazai these days, an unfamiliar feeling twists in his gut. Usually, all Chuuya wanted to do was pound Dazai to a pulp and throw him into the ocean to drown. Nowadays, he wants to…to…

ARGHHH SNAP OUT OF IT, YOU HATE DAZAI AND HE HATES YOU. Chuuya punched a nearby cargo crate, making a huge dent in it.

“How can a small creature store up so much strength and energy in such a tiny body?” Chuuya flinched at Dazai’s voice and swirled around.

“Ha?! What do you mean? I’m way stronger than you, regardless of height!” Chuuya wrapped his fingers around Dazai’s neck, activating his ability.

The latter smirked. “You need to get on your tiptoes to choke me.” he rested his own hand on Chuuya’s arm and nullified Gravity Manipulation. The veins in Chuuya’s forehead pulsed with irritation as he let go and turned back around, huffing

“Why did you call me here?”

“Ah, the President assigned me to a mission here!” Dazai exclaimed. His hair was rustling in his wind, and Chuuya noticed that he had new bandages wrapped around his arms and a big puffy band-aid under his left eye.

Did he get hurt?

Nah.

Knowing Dazai, he probably has a small gun equipped into his skin just in case something happens.

“...and why did you ask me to come along?”

“I thought I could use your help. Your ability would be quite helpful.” Dazai said. “But other than that, you’re useless!”

“Shut up! I’m one of the five executives in the Mafia!”

“I was an executive too. You ain’t special.” Dazai walked past him.

We were Twin Dark. The infamous Mafia duo. You would be the one to plan our missions and I would be the one to beat our enemies to a pulp. You were the youngest executive in the history of the Port Mafia, achieving the position only when you were around fifteen years old. That was also around the same time you and the Boss brought me into the Mafia. After you betrayed us and left to join the damned Detective Agency…how do you think I, your ex-partner felt?

I hate you so much. I want to kill you every time I look at you.

I hate you.

But now he doesn't believe himself.

Do I hate you?

Do you hate me?

“Wait up!” Chuuya ran after him. “Tell me the details, what’s the mission?”

“This is a foreign loading dock. After the battle with the Guild, we’ve been paranoid of anything coming from America. Recently, Ranpo-san deduced that there would be trouble here today, at this time. Other than that, he refuses to say anything else. He told us to figure it out by ourselves.” Dazai sighed in a whiny manner. “He’s a senior and is closest to the President, so I can’t even disobey him!”

“Aren’t you as smart as him, though?” Chuuya raised his eyebrows. Edogawa Ranpo… the brat who founded the Agency with Fukuzawa Yukichi. His ‘Super Deduction’ is never wrong. But Dazai should be able to figure out everything anyway. He’s super smart too, and his predictions are also never wrong.

Dazai chuckled. “I’m definitely not on the same level as Ranpo-san, but thanks for believing in me, Chuuya-kun~”

Chuuya blushed and tugged at his hat. “Shut up, you suicidal maniac.”

“Speaking of suicide, have you figured out my secret yet?” Dazai asked brightly. As they walked by the people unloading cargo, Dazai waved at them casually. The people exchanged confused looks but paid him no attention.

“Nah. I don’t have time to think about that stupid secret of yours. I’ve been spending my time trying to find you a beautiful woman instead,” Chuuya lied through his teeth. The truth is, he went to sleep the last few days wondering why Dazai hadn’t actually committed yet, even though he had met a bunch of hot women before.

“Awww, really?” Dazai said in a sad voice. “Oh well. We’re here.”

“...what.” Chuuya growled. They had taken a complete roundabout and exited the docking area, and instead had walked back into the main city area. More specifically, the part of the city the Port Mafia headquarters were. “Why the hell are we here, you fucking Mackerel? Didn’t you say that Edogawa brat said there would be trouble at the docks, not the Mafia??”

“Calm down, Chuuya-kun!” Dazai exclaimed. “According to my calculations, trouble will come for the Mafia from the docks. So it’s better if we just stayed here!”

“THEN WHY DID WE MEET AT THE DOCKS??!” Chuuya yelled.

“I just needed to look at something.” Dazai hummed, unbothered.

“Shitty Dazai…”

Since it was already 11pm, there were a lot less people roaming around. The Port Mafia building was just in sight, and they could probably reach it in about thirty seconds if they ran fast. Chuuya could sense a few members hidden in the shadows, no doubt confused why one of the executives was hanging out with an Agency member. He signaled them to back off, and they obliged, albeit very reluctantly.

“My subordinates have probably already informed the Boss of your presence being so near to our headquarters.” Chuuya said. “If trouble is coming for the Mafia, why are you helping us? Aren’t we, like, your worst enemies?”

“I would never give the Mafia the honour of being my ‘worst enemies’.” Dazai huffed. “No, my worst enemy would probably be Fyodor, the impressively intelligent Russian criminal. And to answer your first question…” he leaned down, his lips right next to Chuuya’s ear. “It’s because you’re a part of the Mafia. I’ll be the one to kill you, Chuuya-kun. That’s why I’m helping you - because I’d rather not have you destroyed by someone else.”

Is he trying to sweet-talk me?

…it’s working…

“What a shitty reason.” Chuuya muttered. He was thankful for the dark - it hid the dark red blush coating his cheeks. Dazai smirked and leaned back, shoving his hands into his pockets.

“Anyhow, I’ve known Mori-san for longer than you have. He knows why I’m here, and he probably won’t bother us.” Dazai said. “Unless, of course, the entire Mafia gets involved. Which it will be, soon enough!”

“We aren’t weak. I’ll fucking kill anyone who dares to defy the Mafia.” Chuuya snarled. “Even if the Mafia other than me gets involved today, it won’t be a big deal. Ane-san and I can easily chop up anyone who stands in our way.”

“Well, it’s not you and ‘Ane-san’ today. It’s you and me, and don’t you forget it~!” Dazai sang, throwing his hands up into the air. “Say, do you think any good bars are open right now? How about the one you were at the other day? Shall we go there?”

“I thought you said trouble was coming.”

“I know, I was just kidding. Jeez!” Dazai pouted. Groaning, Chuuya massaged his temples. This man called me here in the middle of the night and is now spouting ridiculous nonsense and making the butterflies in my stomach flutter. What a bitch!

“...Chuuya-kun.” Dazai lifted his head, his eyebrows furrowed. His silly expression was gone. “I can sense it now.”

“Sense what?”

A devilish smile spread across Dazai’s face, a hint of his old insanity coming back.

“Trouble.”

chapter one

#bungo stray dogs #chuuya nakahara #chuuya bsd #chuuya #dazai osamu #dazai bsd #bsd #soukoku #ssk #fanfiction #short fanfiction #wattpad #meaning of life #my story #twin dark #dazai x chuuya

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ashthemadwriter-archived · 3 years ago

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Getting to be your first time

Fandom: Bungou Stray Dogs

Pairing: Dazai, Chuuya X Fem!Reader

Request: "Chuuya and Dazai with a fem reader that’s a shy virgin that has never managed to pleasure herself, that’s what’s on my filthy mind rn" ◜By lovely anon!!◞

Genre: Smut

Format: Drabble

Warnings: NSFW! content, Pet names (Doll), Vaginal penetration, Cunnilingus, Oral (F receiving), etc

Word Count: 0.7K

A/n: Eye eye captain!

↳Osamu Dazai

The way you try to hide your face as his tongue goes deeper inside you has him losing his fucking mind. Dazai has taken a lot of virginities, he's been lots of people's "first time"; but not once he had ever felt special, not like how he feels now.

He's amused with how sensitive you are, and how you refuse to let go of his hand despite facing the need to squirm around. He's told you to let go and don't hold yourself back multiple times, but you just don't listen;

it's like you're asking him to take the lead and show you how loud he can make you become, without actually saying it.

Dazai is having the time of his life down there. He loves it when no matter how much he eats you out, your pussy still gets wet with even more arousal.

He decides to be gentle with you, to not rush anything and go on slowly. He takes his time, leaning closer to bask you with euphoria as he makes out with your cunt, delighted by the way you moan whenever he pokes your clit with his tongue.

"O-Osamu... I- I think I'm..."

No. He can't hold back anymore. Not when you call out for him this prettily.

Dazai Osamu is one greedy man, and he does not hesitates to show it off. He slowly rubs your entrance with one digit while focusing on the sensitive spot on your clit, and spares no pain to suck on the tender flesh to earn louder whines from you. Maybe you're just as greedy as he is; or else you wouldn't throw your head back and push his head further to your core, making the poor man suffocate between your thighs. But he is not irritated even one bit; Running out of breath while he has you screaming for him in his last moments are a dream he lives to see it becoming true.

He will try to be good for you, and maybe you will let him take his frustration out on your tight little pussy tonight,

and for many more nights to come.

↳Chuuya Nakahara

Chuuya can't decide if his pleased with the current situation, or annoyed.

Of course he's happy that he finally gets to have you all to himself, hell he will even refer to his current mood as "head over heels"; but it's not gonna work out if you keep hiding your face with your hands.

He gently grasps your hands and pulls them aside, revealing your gorgeous flushed face and an innocent look in your eyes that drives him insane. He just can't understand why you try so hard to keep him from seeing your pretty face and your cute little whimpers.

"Do you trust me, doll?"

Nod.

"Then stop holding back, ok? I wanna see you baby. All of you. You're so gorgeous sweetheart. Fucking breathtaking for me. So don't shy away anymore, alright?"

After seeing your nod of approval, he smirks and kisses your jawline as he starts rocking his hips back and forth again, satisfied when he finally hears your moans clearly. He hisses when he feels your hand approaching your mouth to cover it again, so he suddenly bites your neck.

Your loud whimper definitely fueled his ego, more than he expected.

Needy lips targeting the sensitive spot on your neck, attacking the warm skin with kitty licks and kisses are not exactly helping. You can't hold yourself from giving in anymore; digging your nails in his back while wrapping your legs around him are just making it more obvious.

Chuuya can clearly feel you getting closer to your release as your moans become louder and your grasp around him tightens, and he can't wait to feel your walls squeeze around him as you hide your face in the crook of his neck.

He would have told you that this was not going to be the end of the night, but the fun must be saved from ruining, right?

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narrators-journal · 3 years ago

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I was wondering if you could do Dazai, Chuuya, and Ranpo with an autistic reader. I read the one you did for Kunikida Akutagawa and Poe and really liked it

I haven't written for bsd in a bit, so sorry if it's a tad out of character. I tried my best.

Dazai

Dazai would be pretty indifferent to your autism.

He wouldn't be super malicious about it, as he is working to improve himself, but he'd get annoyed at some parts of it.

But, he's trying. He'll at least be mindful of if you're overstimulated, take note of your interests, and probably even find your way of thinking or world view amusing.

Though, it is good to keep in mind that Dazai is not a very communicative man, and he is bound to use your inability to thoroughly read a situation to his advantage if you get tangled up in his plans.

But, other than that, he'd be pretty unphased by it for the most part. Slightly annoyed, but he can tolerate and adapt for you.

Chuuya

Almost the polar opposite of Dazai, Chuuya would be very accomodating and aware of your autism. He's fairly aware of how it is to feel something like an outsider or 'not normal', so he'd do his best to not make you feel that way.

He'd do his best to avoid being too loud with you, would clarify his moods so you don't misinterpret or don't pick up the cues, and would snap at others who harrass you or insult you.

Granted, this upside comes with a pretty big downside.

While he tries his best to be mindful of your autism, he can get pretty annoyed at it sometimes. He's naturally got a short temper, so repeating phrases, reluctance to change, or your own irritability can sometimes set him off. But he does his best to lessen those instances.

regardless though, he'd definitely try and he'd still care, and would apologize when he loses his temper or upsets you too badly.

Ranpo

Ranpo would absolutely not give a fuck

He'd not go out of his way to avoid your triggers, but he wouldn't go out of his way to upset you either.

He expects you to be able to keep up with him, do what you must to do that, but do it regardless.

Despite his boastful nature and super intellegence, he wouldn't view you as 'stupid' or 'beneath him', because he understands that everyone works differently. He's got deductive skills to make Sherlock Holmes jealous, most people don't. He's no stranger to someone not thinking like he does.

Besides, your sometimes creative or to-the-left view on things can be amusing, and sometimes helpful, so he appreciates the help you give.

All around, he'd treat you like any other, which is a good and bad method, but he makes up for it by accomodating the cons of autism that deeply affect you as best he can.

#Ranpo Edogawa #bsd #Bungo stray dogs #Osamu Dazai #Chuuya Nakahara #headcanons #x reader #autistic!Reader #ask #a bit rusty

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spacexseven · 3 years ago

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(1/3) god akutagawa… he’d be so. Severe, about the whole thing, you know? from HIS perspective he’s going through a long and arduous journey of emotional turmoil that you, wretched seducer/seductress have cruelly damned him to; but for you it’s like he COMPLETELY turned on a dime. he wouldn’t really be the sweep-you-off-your-feet type, like chuuya or dazai would be in this situation. when he gets the order to get close to you for intel reasons (and the whole time he’s wondering why this is HIS job, when has he ever been known to be personable?) he might take on the persona of a newbie in your line of work or a new tenant in your apartment complex and you he’s always kinda… there. staring at you and looking mad about something. but hey! hes probably just shy, right? why not throw him a bone, you think. you live to regret this.

on akutagawa’s end, he doesnt know whether to laugh or scoff at your naivety. you really are making this MUCH too simple for him. like, come on now, discussing work over coffee? inviting him into your home? why don’t you go ahead and decapitate yourself for him while you’re at it. and what an irritating little insect you are, as well! constantly bothering him, talking to him, touching him… showing him affection, concern, genuine interest… completely ridiculous. he’s sure he doesnt dislike ANYONE as much as he does you.

OH GOD IF THEY PROTECT HIM??? FUCK!!!! he’d be SO touched. denies it, but he is!!! moved, even! after this, he gets really comfortable around you, moreso than he thinks he deserves. you’re just so. nice. he feels good when hes around you. the mission becomes more of a break from mafia life than an addition to it. he… likes you. no, he loves you. he loves you so much. if you express a similar romantic interest in him he’ll probably blow a gasket. he never thought he could feel this strongly about anyone (excluding his sister and dazai, ofc)

inevitably, you find him out. hard not to, when his end goal in this whole matter was to utterly destroy you. like you said, he leaves you no choice in the matter of coming with him. he needs you, and you need him, in his mind. he can protect you! no one else will EVER protect you or love you or WORSHIP you the way he does! you don’t need anything else but him, don’t you understand? this is for the best! youre angry, of course. you hate him, curse him, try to kill him. and akutagawa feels like his entire world is falling apart. please, please, please, you can’t hate him, anything but that. he loves you he loves you he loves you PLEASE he’ll do anything to prove it to you, ANYTHING. his life is almost entirely dedicated to earning your affection and praise from here on out, kinda like how he is with dazai. you’ll see it his way eventually…. you have to….. he wont accept anything else.

instead of compiling these together, I will be answering them separately for each character :> i'll get to the rest over the week as well, just need to focus on them individually to really flesh out the ideas :>> anything under this au thing will be tagged with #spy au 🐟 (short and effective, i hope)

cw: yandere characters, deceit, manipulation, obsessive behavior, imprisonment, stalking

akutagawa doesn't really strike anyone as the ideal person to send to infiltrate some place and charm someone for information, but he has a surprisingly useful ability to sort of...blend into the background. he knows what's expected of him, sent on to a mission like this. he's not expected to flirt or coo or wink at you until your knees buckle and you fall into his arms (though now, in retrospect, that would have been a sight he would love to see). rather, what he has to do is simply exist. exist and observe.

it sounded a lot easier in theory because nobody had said anything about you. all he was told was that you'd have the information he needed, and you were not so high-up that it was impossible to talk to you, and not so unimportant that you would be useless to listen in on. nobody said anything about that damned smile and the easygoing charm and the genuine concern that radiated off you. nobody told him that you would pat his shoulder and tell him he was doing great, buy him coffee and offer your support for anything he needed. and nobody even mentioned how kind you were, unlike anyone else he's met that worked for an 'enemy' organization.

(well, it was true that you were kind to all your subordinates, but he refused to see that. to him, it was only him that you cared about right?)

then there was the fact that he could never just 'exist' when you were around. you had an eye out for everyone—not out of paranoia or control, but concern. you noticed him hiding behind the crowd, awkwardly standing by the wall, and you'd bring him closer to everyone else. you saw him, despite him not being any use to you. he was not the ruthless murderer the port mafia wanted him to be, or whatever dazai thought him as. he wasn't a rival you were deadset on beating or a guard dog that patiently sat by your feet, ready to tear apart anyone who dared even look at you the wrong way. not that he would have minded that, if it meant he could protect you from those wandering eyes. in here, he was just another one of faceless lower-rank members, loaded with boring paperwork and forced to run after everyone else.

but to you, he was the new member under your care. you used the name he was given for the mission, you asked him if he had his lunch. you brought him some of your favorite tea to try when you learned he liked drinking tea (and he drank every drop. how could he not, when you looked so eager for his opinion on it?) he wouldn't have expected more than a nod after a job finished in the port mafia, but here, he was being celebrated like he had done something. like you cared. and that thought tormented him.

at first, he pretended to hate you for it. with the appreciation, you showed, your open nature, and your sympathy—you would be torn apart and crushed in the port mafia. such traits would only lead to your demise. he couldn't show that he appreciated it because he didn't want you to think you could keep this up, and endanger yourself. he wasn't the only one trying to infiltrate your group, he knew, and if anyone else learned about you, they would try to worm inside through you. and then what? you'd never see through them, would you? akutagawa was terrible at espionage and still, he made it this far with you, hadn't he? you didn't even consider his true intentions, even after a couple of slip-ups, that he was convinced you were truly helpless. it was deplorable.

and yet...

he wanted to receive more of your attention.

it was very embarrassing when he realized what was happening. automatically running to you after finishing any task, looking forward to your check-ins, taking on anything to try and lessen your workload...what had you done to him? sometimes, he thought of what dazai would think of him now, acting like a pathetic little lap dog, deprived of love.

what really sealed the deal was the moment you risked your life to protect his. undercover akutagawa did not have an ability. that was probably why you stepped in so quickly to move him away from harm. but something about how you grabbed and lifted him, fearlessly navigating the chaos to bring him to safety struck him. something about how easily you threw aside your life for him, how immediately you jumped into action. and after all that, when you apologized to him and swore you would never let him be hurt again...

what else was he supposed to do?

akutagawa was no fool. reckless, hardheaded, maybe. but not stupid. there was no place for that in his life. but at the moment he was at a loss for words and emotions. this overwhelming warmth, this gentle embrace, this wonderful feeling—it was all so new to him. he was used to being the one risking his life to further the port mafia, not fussed over like...like his life wasn't dispensable.

your tight hold on him, your frantic apologies, your commands for someone to come help him—akutagawa had never felt so wanted before. never felt so desperate for something before, either, except maybe dazai's recognition. funny how he could tear himself apart and stick himself back together and dazai wouldn't bat an eyelid, but one little scratch on him and you're tripping over yourself to get to him, huh?

that incident is what changes everything between you two. suddenly, akutagawa is more present, more expressive to you. he talks more (still not a lot, but he's getting there), he even lets the occasional smile slip. he brings you snacks he knows you like to eat, and he just starts being around more often. always behind you, like you held a leash that was connected to him. akutagawa was sure now, that he loved you.

the warm feeling, the nervous feeling he got around you, the way he couldn't stop looking and how he always wanted you to hold him. he loved you, so much. he knew you didn't think of him as a lover—not yet. but he didn't mind. this was fine, for now. until he settled things with the pm so you would never have to know his true mission.

what he didn't expect to happen was you finding out so soon. it all happened too fast. he got a message that he had done his job and shortly after the group you worked for was eradicated. when you were finally introduced to the port mafia, you met akutagawa as himself for the first time.

and just as he feared, you were disgusted by him.

he should have expected this, right? you had every right to be upset after you trusted him so much. that didn't mean it didn't tear him apart to see the hatred in your eyes and the way you flinched away from him. he thought you would be grateful after he convinced them to let you be with him, and not punished like your friends, but you were enraged. you screamed and punched and you looked so hurt that he wanted to fall on his knees and apologize until you accepted it. he would take any punishment as long as you stayed. and you would stay, wouldn't you? when you saw the evil that lurked outside on the streets, the terrors that awaited you. you would stay when he convinced you because he would convince you. show you that he always loved you back, and that he would protect you like you did him. nothing had changed, except his name, really! it was still him, the one you laughed with and bought tea for. it was still the him that you had held in your arms after bringing him to safety.

why couldn't you see that?

#I GOT SO TIRED AT THE LAST PART SORRY #yandere x reader #yandere bungo stray dogs x reader #yandere bsd #yandere bungo stray dogs #yandere bungou stray dogs #yandere bungou stray dogs x reader #yandere bsd x reader #yandere akutagawa x reader #yandere akutagawa #akutagawa x reader #akutagawa bsd #akutagawa 🐟#ask 🐟#anon 🐟#bsd 🐟#dazai 🩹 🐟#spy au 🐟#this got sooo long im sorry

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