#Chuck realizing his son ditched him for some human

[femlokii]

One thing I love about Midam is how insignificant it is to the overall story. Since Chuck wasn’t writing what happened in the cage Michael and Adam loved each other by their own free will!! It was never supposed to happen. Chuck wrote Adam as a throwaway character yet he convinces Chuck’s MOST LOYAL SON into betraying him!

He’s just some nobody from Minnesota but Michael was ready to throw away his entire past for him :((

[shirtlesssammy]

15x18: Despair

Then:

The entire fandom preparing for this episode

Now:

We literally start off right where we left off last week. Jack is a ticking time bomb. Sam hauls his nephew/son into the war room. Team Free Will freak out and try to come up with a plan. Jack wants to get far away from them. “Don’t let me hurt you.” AGGHH. We’re fine. It’s only 2 minutes into the episode, WE’RE FINE. Dean insists that they’re not giving up on him, and we love a good 180. 

Billie pops up and tells them all that she can’t stop what’s happening to Jack, but she can help. 

She sends him to the Empty where he promptly explodes. 

Billie explains to the trio that the Empty was the only place/entity that could absorb that kind of power. Jack could survive --and the Empty could survive, but it won’t be happy. Billie points out that the Empty will want her, but can’t get to Earth without being summoned (coolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcoolcool). 

Billie wants God’s book back from Sam. Sam Fucking Winchester confronts Billie about her end game plans of restoring order --and sending all of them back to their death. Billie tells Sam that if they want Jack back, he’ll give her the book. 

JACK’S ALIVE!

Petty, petty, sullen Sam brings Billie the book, but throws it on the table instead of handing it to her, and we love him and his insolent little heart. 

She grabs the book and starts to open it. Cas wonders what she’s doing. 

She tells them that God’s book has a new ending. Dean’s done and wants Jack back. 

Meanwhile, the Empty recorpealizes and is D O N E. She drags Jack to her and just as she’s about to HURT HIM, he disappears. 

He’s home, but Billie claims him. Dean doesn’t like that idea so he grabs Death’s scythe before she can ditch the bunker with the kid. He slices her arm and she sends him flying. Billie disappears without the book, her scythe, or Jack. 

Later, the Brothers Winchester take a moment in the library. Dean apologizes for pulling a gun on Sam. 

(Listen, if we’re going full Bicon clown with Dean these next couple of weeks, this shot reminds me SO MUCH of the shot of James Dean from Giant.)

He also breaks down that Chuck is probably now all powerful, they’re on Billie’s hit list, Jack’s powerless, and Michael’s in the wind. They toast to their impossible odds. 

*Charlie and her cute GF Alert*

Stevie, the cutie from episode 3 is making perfect scrambled eggs for Charlie, and I’m dying inside. Charlie suggests a hunter’s date, and they smile and ARE CUTE, and I’m dying inside. The eggs are perfect, but this story isn't. Stevie just poofs away before Charlie’s eyes. 

Cut to Dean and Sam checking out Charlie’s place to piece together what happened. Charlie tells the brothers that she didn’t see or feel anything before Stevie disappeared. 

Outside, Cas waits with Jack. Cas asks how Jack is doing. 

Jack feels “strange”. He doesn’t know how to feel now that he’s not needed for the big plan. Cas assures him that he wasn’t there to get absolution from the Winchesters. “We don’t care about you because you’re useful or you fit into some grand design. We care about you because you’re you.” BRB CRYING. 

Jack is crying, I’m crying, and the world is crumbling. Jack is scared, and Cas, gripping his son’s shoulder, tells him that he’s scared too. 

Inside, the brothers tell Charlie that they think that Billie’s killing people that shouldn’t be on Earth. Charlie gets upset and admits that she promised herself that she wouldn’t do “the love thing” again. Sam gets a call from Bobby. More people are disappearing. Dean points out that no one is safe. 

Sam instantly thinks of Eileen AND WE HAVE EMOTIONS. They take off to find Eileen. 

Sam texts Eileen as they drive, but doesn’t tell her what’s up. Sam watches the dots...until they disappear. Hahahahahahah, NOPE.

They get to Eileen’s place and find her purse and phone on the sidewalk. 

She’s gone. “If I let myself go there, I’ll lose my mind.” AND WE’RE RIGHT THERE WITH YOU SAMMY. 

Sam activates action mode. He tells the others that they need to protect the other hunters from Alt World. Dean tells Sam that he should do this, but he’s going to make Billie pay. “I’ll go with you, Dean,” Cas volunteers. OF COURSE. 

We jump to a close up on Donna and her fabulous D-TRAIN license plate. Readers, I love her. She talks to Sam over the phone. She’s found a silo they can ward up and hide out in while Dean and Cas try to take out Billie. When Sam hangs up, he notices that Jack’s looking unrooted and gives him a job to do. Jack “has to drive” so that Sam can do work. Jack scooches over to the driver’s seat, ready to do something at last. Readers, I love Sam.

Dean and Cas arrive at the bunker and make plans to barge into Billie’s library. Dean plans to trash the place like a particularly unruly raccoon who breaks into a kitchen, until Billie arrives to stop them. He grabs Death’s scythe and they’re off. 

When Sam and Jack arrive at the silo, Donna tells Sam that she’s there for him - whatever he needs. 

The hunter network is on high alert, and Bobby’s got his AU crew holed away in the silo already.  Charlie pulls up, transformed from her sunset bright t-shirt into apocalypse world Charlie again.

Sam joins the crew in the warehouse and reconnects with Bobby, who immediately informs him that Sam’s the boss of the operation. When Bobby told the hunters that Sam wanted them to head to the silo, “they came running, no hesitation.” ….Excuse me, I have something in my eye. They’ve warded the whole silo with every warding they can throw at it, and Sam’s using one of Rowena’s spells (EXCUSE ME, I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY EYE) to bolster the strength of the sigils. 

Jack and Donna are painting sigils together, when Jack notices a plant. She recommends pulling it to protect the warding, but when Jack extends his hand it withers and dies.

Dean and Cas creep into the library, where Billie stands waiting for them. Dean tells her that they’re after her because she’s been killing off his friends. Her only reply is, “Interesting.”

Dean jabs Billie in her wounded shoulder, and the pain is high enough that Dean can get the upper hand. She holds the scythe at bay with just her hand, and Dean orders her to call off the hits. Billie laughs right in his face. She’s not killing anyone! Dean’s little papercut to her shoulder is enough to kill her, so her only plan at this point is to kill herself a Winchester and go out in a blaze of vengeance. 

Sam powers up the warding in the silo, ready to defend against Billie. Meanwhile, Billie thinks Chuck’s the likely one who’s been disappearing people. Quickly enough, a little girl is the first to disappear. As her family breaks down into full freak-out mode, all the hunters hiding out in the silo flash away. ALL OF THEM.

Hey, if I have to suffer, you have to suffer.

Sam, Jack, and Donna can only watch this with horror and then Donna looks down at her hands. She smokes out too. NOOOOOOOOOO!

Billie power-smacks Dean across the room. It’s vengeance time! As much as I don’t want Those Two Idiots™ to die, it is lovely to see Billie storm around in battle-Death mode. 

Dean and Cas race into the bunker without a plan, Billie in pursuit. It’s only moments before Dean is buckling. As he collapses, we reveal Billie on the balcony. I do love how this is framed!

She’s clutching Dean’s heart in her grip and pursues them through the bunker. “I’ve got you,” Cas tells Dean as he supports him. HELP, I’ve been murdered by emotion!

Cas directs them to the dungeon, grabs Dean’s pocket knife from his back pocket (I’m FINE, btw), and slices his hand. Quickly, he wards the door with a sigil, and Dean recovers instantly.

That is, he recovers physically. Emotionally, he is in ROUGH SHAPE. While Billie pounds away at the sigil, Dean realizes that they’re trapped. He blames himself - he was angry and needed something to kill and that’s ALL HE KNOWS HOW TO DO. f r o w n y f a c e

Dean’s in a pretty bad headspace. He thinks Billie’s going to break in and kill Cas, then himself, and then EVERYBODY ELSE. He apologizes, while Cas puts his strategic commander-of-garrisons brain to work. There is ONE thing that Billie’s afraid of. 

Readers, it was at this point that Boris and I were shouting our usual gleeful shit at the TV. Things like, “Lay one on him, Cas, and the Empty can come!” And then CAS SAYS, “I made a deal.”

“Kiss ‘im,” I murmur while wondering WHAAAAAAT IS HAPPENING when Cas brings up the “moment of true happiness” requirement. At this point, I’m thinking they’re in the dungeon and it’s full of spellwork supplies probably. So, like, I guess they’ll light some quick candles and summon the Empty? 

We fall silent as Cas starts talking about FEELINGS. “The one thing I want, it’s something I know I can’t have.” He says this RIGHT TO DEAN’S FACE. RIGHT IN OUR FACES. “Happiness isn’t in the having. It’s in just being. It’s in just saying it.” 

We stop breathing.

And then Cas murders us forever when he shifts to talking about Dean. He knows Dean sees himself as a killer, a “blunt instrument.” But Cas sees him differently, and his way is true: Dean cares more than anyone Cas has ever met. He’s powered by love and not anger. “You’re the most caring man on Earth. You are the most selfless, loving human being I will ever know. Ever since we met. Ever since I pulled you outta Hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared, I cared. I cared about you. I cared about Sam. I cared about Jack. I cared about the whole world because of you. You changed me, Dean.”

Cas is crying and we are murdered dead in our beds by this show. 

Dean thinks it sounds like goodbye. “That’s because it is,” Cas tells him. And then he follows up with one last thing. “I love you.” 

And...it’s there. The love we’ve seen in his eyes for eleven seasons is there, out loud, and centered on Dean. We joke a lot at ShirtlessSammy about the need to just KISS ALREADY but this flayed us in the way a kiss could never do. It heightens everything. Castiel’s care for Dean, his loyalty and friendship now have a new layer - that of textual, unrequited love. We’ve obviously been personally clinging to the destiel train car for quite some time, but laying out Castiel’s feelings and saying it’s enough for him to acknowledge them out loud is SO POWERFUL. As a love story, it’s tragic beauty. As a personal coming out story, it’s just BEAUTY. 

For HARD TO PROCESS Science:

With this dropped between them, Dean can read the writing on the wall. “Don’t do this, Cas,” he begs. Immediately, gooey sounds begin to squish out from the brick wall behind Dean. 

The empty swirls in, and Billie breaks through the door at last. Cas grasps Dean by the shoulder. “Goodbye, Dean,” he says, hurling him away from the twin threats. 

In an instant, the Empty advances, swallowing Cas and Billie and retreating back into the wall without so much as a howdy. (Please join me for a displeased hiss at Billie’s apparent demise.)

Sam and Jack emerge from the silo, shocked. Sam tries calling Dean, while Jack looks around. Jack wonders if it was just the people in the silo who disappeared. 

The camera POV pans out to abandoned playground equipment, still-spinning bicycle wheels, and cars left behind on the road. It’s the end of the world, and suddenly the world feels too big. Too lonely.

We cut to Dean. He’s on the floor in the same place Castiel threw him. His phone rings. It’s Sam. Dean stares at it, before dropping it to the floor. He pulls himself inward, and the episode ends on the sounds of choked sobbing.

Boris and I are monsters, as WE end the episode entirely too jubilant for words. Here’s to being right! Readers, while Boris can’t fully hope for a happy ending (gotta protect that heart), Natasha has zero doubts. We’re getting them back, damn it! And love’s gonna light the way.

Never Gonna Quote Me Away (From You!):

I don’t wanna hurt you. Don’t let me hurt you.

To somehow

I wanted to make things right. And now I don’t know why I’m here

Let’s go reap a reaper

I brought a bucket

I guess this is the part where I say, “Hello, boys”

It’s you, Dean. It’s always been you. Death defying. Rule breaking. You are everything I live to set right. To put down. To tame. You are human disorder incarnate

You think that hate and anger - that’s what drives you. It’s not. Everyone who knows you sees it. Everything you have ever done - the good and the bad - you have done for love.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[gayliensav]

Heaven Knows How I Loved You

@bitteradamgirl​ prompted: Protective!Michael and the Winchester’s realizing just how much Adam and Michael care about each other.

This will be known as that time Sav accidentally wrote a finale for Supernatural.

Adam never intended to work with his brothers again, after helping them out, but after Dean and Castiel returned from purgatory, they contacted him and Michael again. At first it was just to check on them, then they asked for more help.

That’s how Adam ended up being a diversion, with Chuck still thinking that Michael was inside of him when the archangel had already taken a temporary vessel and was working on the spell nearby.

“Michael, if you’d just listen to me…” Chuck trailed off, studying him, “You’re my son, the one I had faith in. We’ve been together for all eternity, you’re going to give that up for what? Some insignificant human?”

Adam tensed slightly, trying not to let the words get to him. Why would Michael pick him over his father? He was right. They’d been together longer.

Adam grit his teeth, not saying anything as he glanced over to the window a few times, hoping he’d get some kind of signal from his brothers that they were there in case anything happened.

He rolled his eyes to himself when he saw Dean give a thumbs up at him.

“You...You created us to care for humanity,” Adam said, trying to sound as much like Michael as he could, “You were supposed to care for humanity and now you just want to end it? For what?” he demanded, “I’m...confused.”

“Michael, just come with me,” Chuck told him, “We can talk about this later, but you don’t need to be with the Winchesters.”

“Because I know too much?” Adam challenged, gripping his hands into fists as he looked nervously over at the window again. He knew he was pushing, but he genuinely wanted to know. He wanted justice for all the bad Michael had been feeling.

“Now, Adam!”  Dean yelled.

Adam lit the lighter and went to jump back, but Chuck was quicker, making his hand freeze in place.

“Nice try, guys,” Chuck said, using his free hand to snap his fingers and Sam, Dean, and Castiel appeared in the room, “Gotta say, didn’t expect you to use baby brother here as bait after everything you’ve been through with him.”

Adam grit his teeth, still unable to move. He struggled against the invisible hold on him, but had nothing.

“Then again, you did ditch him for ten years,” Chuck shrugged, “So why am I really surprised?”

“You ditched your son, you dick,” Adam choked out, gasping in pain when Chuck snapped his fingers and he fell to the floor, choking on what tasted like blood.

Not again, Adam thought, I can’t go through this again.

“Leave him alone, you son of a bitch!” Dean yelled, running over to him, “Hey, hey, deep breaths...we got you, Adam. We’re not leaving you again.”

Adam choked out a laugh around the blood, “Never thought I’d hear you say that, Dean.”

Sam held his hand up, starting to speak the spell, “Defendatur-” he started before he was thrown into the wall.

Adam groaned in pain, falling to the ground from Dean’s arms, “Michael…” he breathed out, “Mike, c’mon…”

“Adam, he can’t hear you-” Dean started.

“He can,” Adam choked out, “I know he can.”

“What-” Dean started, but Michael appeared then, driving the ritualistic looking dagger into Chuck’s back.

Chuck gasped in pain, turning to stare at him in shock, “Michael…”

“He’s weak, do it now!” Dean yelled.

Sam stood up, the pressure off of him suddenly. He grabbed the connected rings from his pocket and threw them down before rattling off the spell they’d used before, “Bvtmon Tabges Babalon!” he yelled, looking over at Adam nervously. His mind was obviously in the same place Adam’s was right now.

It was all happening again.

“I love you, Father,” Michael yelled over the wind, “But I will choose him over you no matter what.”

Dean and Sam watched on in shock as Michael shoved Chuck down and he fell into the pit with a scream.

“CHDR BVTMON!” Sam yelled and the hole closed up.

They all stood there, breathing heavily and in shock, watching as the ground closed seamlessly.

“Adam,” Michael breathed out, running over to him. He practically shoved Dean’s hands off of Adam, replacing them with his own. He pressed his forehead against Adam’s and his eyes glowed blue slightly.

“You’re okay,” Michael told him softly, healing him with his Grace.

The brothers and Castiel watched the two interact in shock.

Michael had just chosen Adam over his father.

Michael, the archangel, just chose a human over God.

The human being their brother, the normal nineteen year-old pre-med student.

Then said archangel kissed said normal nineteen year-old former pre-med student on the lips, causing Dean and Sam to look over at each other in shock, but Castiel didn’t seem too shocked.

Freakin’ angels.

Dean cleared his throat, “Okay, break it up, you two,” he said quickly, “Adam, you good?”

“Yeah,” Adam laughed weakly, “I’m good, thanks to Mike,” he said, getting up with the help of the archangel.

“Thank you guys,” Sam told them quickly, “You didn’t have to help us, but you did. Michael, you…” he trailed off, not sure if he should even say it.

Michael pursed his lips, “Samuel, I saw the truth...my father was not there for me, but there was the person who was...and that was your brother,” he looked over at Adam, “I would choose him over anything, even my father.”

The brothers stood there, not sure what to say.

“I should return to Heaven,” Michael said softly, “I’m sure things are going to need cleaning up after...all of this. We need to get back to some semblance of order...and I hope you can help me with that, Castiel.”

Cas blinked in shock, “Uh...yes, I can...do that,” he cleared his throat, unsure of what to say.

Michael linked his arm with Adam’s, “We’ll speak again soon.”

“Sorry, can’t get rid of us that easily,” Adam winked at them before they disappeared into thin air.

Sam looked over at Dean, letting out a shocked laugh as he did.

[tysonthebitcher]

The time i got arrested in Florida

*Names have been changed When you picture getting arrested on spring break, you picture things like getting in a fight, having sex in public, getting too drunk, or better – all three. But this wasn't anything like that; the time I got arrested sums up my life. When I was 17, I got arrested on Spring Break in Florida. I don't even bring this up when people talk about getting arrested. It’s by no means a "bad ass" story. But when I do tell people I was arrested, they automatically want to know why.  This isn’t your cool and normal Spring Break “who outdrank who” story. This is a random and "uncool" arrest story. I don't even like to tell people. Honestly, I’m not sure why I’m telling you now…but fuck it In high school, I went on Spring Break with my friend, John. Because I was 17, it was one of those “high school” Spring Breaks. We’ve all been on these “all-inclusive vacations.” You know, the trips where you just go with your friend’s family because you are too broke, too irresponsible, and just slightly too underage for your parents to let you go anywhere by yourself. So this is the best you are going to get.  But hey, don’t let the details get in the way of the facts, you get to tell people you went somewhere. This was going to be the first time I was on my own: It was a huge deal for me. My parents always thought I was too "irresponsible" to go anywhere or do anything, let alone wipe my own ass, by myself.  I had gotten caught in a few minor fuck ups, but I was right at the tipping point where I was starting to gain their trust back and things could go one of two ways: I could be the son they’ve always wanted, or I could go with John and be a 17 year old on Spring Break.  It took a lot of convincing but, the choice was obvious. My parents ended up letting me go.I was going to be with John’s family…what could go wrong? . Well...actually a lot can go wrong. ​ When Spring Break rolled around, John, his parents, and I drove down to Navarre Beach, Florida. I had never even heard of the fuckin’ place, but it was Florida. How horrible can it be? Wrong. It’s more than slightly horrible. It might as well be located in Satan’s asshole, and renamed to Dante’s 10th Circle of Hell. Like all naïve high schoolers, we were expecting rivers of beer, and mountains of topless college chicks. Wrong again. Upon arrival, John and I instantly realize there is a reason we had never heard of this place. It is one of those near death retirement communities, where the only women you will see are wearing a one-piece and a foam golf visor. It was one of those quiet, dust-farter destinations for the old people who came to Florida for long walks on the beach, and to watch the sunset. Throughout the week, we did boring touristy shit with John’s parents, like visit museums and sight-see. I'll admit it wasn't bad. Then again, at this point in my life, shopping at a Walmart in a different state would have been fun for me. Prior to entering this hellish wasteland in sunny Florida, John and I got some irresponsibly awesome 21 year old to buy us liquor before we left. We hid the vodka in a couple of water bottles and smuggled it down with us. Even though the place sucked, we still were excited. Our standards were still low; getting drunk in someone's basement was still considered "new and fun.” Drinking in Florida was more than good enough for us. Throughout the week, we made sure to conserve and ration the gut-wrenching warm vodka. When nights rolled around, we took shots and wandered aimlessly around the deserted hellscape, looking for any sign of human life. The whole week we hadn’t seen anyone that hadn’t been born when Richard Nixon was still in office, but on the last night we were there, slightly buzzed on warm water bottle vodka, we went wandering desperate to do anything. That’s when the warm vodka Gods spoke to us. When we got down to the pool, there was a small glimpse of hope. We saw some kids our age, so we approached them and started talking. Turns out they were 15 and from Indiana too, and in the same situation as John and me.  There was our glimpse of hope: two girls, and a douche. The brother, the douche, and sister looked inbred. But their friend, Jennifer, caught our eye with her big melons. John and I were so desperate, we looked past inbred Jack and Jill so we could hang with this girl and her big cannons.  There wasn't really anything for us to do so we started walking around, bitching about this shitty paradise we were in. ​ John and I were content; we were kinda drunk, and since we were in high school, just walking next to a hot female got our penises hard. While we were walking, Jack was telling us about how they were playing ding dong ditch earlier.  That stuff stopped being fun for me in 4th grade, so I instantly knew these fucking kids were even lamer than John and me. Feeling nice, or drunk, or bored, maybe all three, I chalked it up as they were probably just bored like us. We continued to walk, and Jack started to play ding dong ditch again.  I felt like I was babysitting this giant pecker.  I felt like I was too cool to be hanging out with these incestual people, and for me to think that is a huge red flag. John and I laughed and went along with it. Fuck it, I even joined in a couple times. Here we were, playing ding dong ditch in fuckin’ Florida. Other teenagers our age were on Spring Break having sex and lasting a whole two minutes. Or getting limp wristed hand jobs.  Either way, I was envious. Instead we were ding dong ditching condos of old fossils who probably couldn't even hear it. Although lame, John and I were glad to be doing something. But then shit got weird. Like one of those "you had to be there moments". These things happen for some strange reason, and when they do, and you really don't what the fuck you were thinking. A string of bad luck happens, and it's almost like it was meant to be. At this point, we are acting like a bunch deranged toddlers who escaped Chuck E Cheese, laughing and acting like reckless buffoons. The more we laughed and fucked around, the more of that reckless teenage "fuck it" chemical got pumped into our little bird brains.  We gave no fucks and just wanted to have fun. It was almost like we took a back seat in our bodies while some crazed maniacs were manning the control stations. We continued watching Jack ding dong ditch until we got to the garbage room where you throw trash down the chute. For some fuckin’ reason, Jack opened the door to look inside.  He flings the door open, and in the process, breaks the garbage room door. The metal rod snapped right off the door, and fell in front of his guilty feet. We look at each other…then like most teenagers, we just start laughing. I don't know if it is a phase or what, but fucking stuff up was just fun in high school. I don't fuckin’ get it now. But it was. It seemed like everyday something got fucked with. If something could be broken, it was.  Luckily ,I don't think it was just me; teenagers just like fucking with shit when they’re bored. Teenagers are just shitty selfish individuals who don’t even think about consequences. It's almost like that part of the brain isn’t developed yet. If you didn’t go through that "break shit" phase, this whole story will leave you even more shocked. When the door broke, and we all start laughing like a pack of wild hyenas, Jack got egged on even more. The difference between a teenager and an adult, is the adult stops, and the teenager keeps fuckin’ going to make his friends laugh. Then out of nowhere, Jack hurls this metal rod off the 14th floor and it hits the ground. We laugh at his Olympic javelin throw , and start going to the other floors to break other garbage room doors as we now know how much fun this teenager pastime is... The harmless game of ding dong ditch quickly turned in a category five shit storm. We were on a vandalism rampage. We broke three or four more doors and tore down some paper signs. Shortly, the storm was over.  We decided to go walk around outside and cool off. We walked around for an hour and headed back to our condo. While walking back we run into this 20-year-old dick bag with roid rage, wearing a pink polo. He stopped us to tell us that the cops are coming because that metal rod that came sailing off the 14th-floor balcony, almost hit someone.  Also, turns out that throwing anything off a balcony is considered a felony. Who would have thought? This butt fuck in the pink polo pointed to the condo behind him, and asked if we knew anything. John and I play dumber than my parents were for letting me go on this trip. Meanwhile, the other 3 dumb fucks go on to explain to this guy that we weren't doing it in the building he pointed at but we were in another one.  Like that fuckin mattered?! The guy then starts flipping out talking about how the cops thought he might have done it and if he gets arrested "hes going to crack our skulls." We then saw the cop cars parked in front of the condo. We decided we best just get the fuck away from the whole situation – a real ding, dong, ditch. We decide we probably should head to the beach and lay low until the cops left. We waited at the beach for a good half hour. Continuing on with the night like nothing happened; we walked to the lone gas station by our condo. As we got to the gas station, we saw three cop cars leaving the condo and driving away. They drove past the gas station. Suddenly, all three cruisers pull a U-turn and head back our way. The worst part is, if we would have waited at the beach one more minute, we would have been in the clear from all the shit that was about to rain down on us. They stopped us and told us that someone told them to look for a "red-haired kid" and someone with a blue hoodie on. The red-haired kid was John, and Jack was the hoodie wearing bastard.  We had figured the skull crusher ratted on us. It didn't take a rocket scientist to realize we were fuckin’ guilty. One by one, they talked to us to hear our stories. They knew they had caught us with our pants around our ankles. They hit us with all that cop bullshit, which if you aren't familiar with, you might as well just put the handcuffs on yourself. They said they knew the truth and were trying to break us. They actually didn't have any evidence, so if we would have just denied everything we could have walked away again. But we didn’t have a consistent story so we got fucked – and not in the envious limp wrist handjob type of way. After the brutal bloodbath,the cops told us to get in the car and we headed back to the condo, while they continued to mentally butt fuck us even more. We were grade A fucked, there was no getting out of this one. When we get to the condo there was a fuckin’ platoon of cops waiting. You would have thought we were clubbing puppies and not breaking door hinges. We get to the police circle jerk and notice there is a different group of kids in trouble too. We then found out they were skinny dipping when the cops came to investigate the garbage door massacre of the 14th floor. They saw them and arrested them. Lady Luck must have been sucking dick somewhere in a corner, because she wasn't with any of us that night. The cops continued questioning us and Jack started lying, saying I was the mastermind behind this circus show. It was every man for themselves at this point. I wasn't going to jail for that inbred fuck. I would have been home free again, but John "did the right thing" and told them I broke a door too. He really just wanted to save his own ass because he was going to be joining the Air Force – what a dick, but hey John, thanks for protecting our country. Jack and I got blamed for the doors, and Jill got charged because she ripped off the paper signs in the elevator.  John really should have been there with us, because he ripped some paper signs too, but I didn't want to ruin his chance at the Air force.  The only innocent one was Jennifer. I thought committing acts of vandalism was the best way into her pants, but she wasn't impressed. It was now 3 am, and the cop said she had to call my parents since I was a minor.  The cop put the call on speaker phone and called my house   A call from the cops is the last thing any parent fucking wants, let alone at 3 am during Spring Break. My dad picked up the phone half asleep and heard, "Hi Sir, this is Sergeant Kelly from the Navarre Beach Police Department. I am calling to inform you that your son is getting arrested."  There was a pause, where I could almost hear the brick my dad was shitting fall right out of his ass. They talked for a second, and then he did that white dad thing, where he thanked the officer and said he was glad I was at least safe. Glad I was safe? It probably would have been better if I was in a coma. The three of us on the freelance demolishing team, got corralled into the back of the cop car and made the 40-minute maiden voyage to my new home, jail. I was in and out of sleep most of the way there.  At one point, I woke up and the two cops were fuckin’ talking about Disney World. Here I am on the shittiest night of my life, and these guys were just calmly talking about visiting Disney World. Dicks. It wasn't really until I got to jail that it really hit me. There I was, in some random fuckin’ jail in buttfuckville, a thousand miles away from home. Everyone watches those cop shows and everyone tells themselves they are never going to jail. So, now being here, it felt surreal, and it was a total nightmare. They told me I was getting charged with "criminal mischief", and Jack with a felony for throwing the garbage room rod over the balcony. Jill got charged with "criminal mischief" for tearing paper signs off the wall…. I wish I could make this shit up. They took my belt and gave me some rubber slippers. I got processed and got my mug shot, and new Facebook profile picture taken, and thrown into a holding cell with Jack. If they hadn’t taken my belt, I most likely would have strangled him. Jack was acting like some big bad bad ass earlier. Now, he was laying on this concrete slab, bawling his eyes out and crying about how he wants his mommy. It's like I was in some stereotypical jail movie.   I was furious at that mosquito dick for getting me into all this, so I wasn't the most sympathetic to his river of tears drowning the cell. I told him to go cry on the ground so I could sleep on the concrete slab we called a bed. He continued his blubbering on the floor while I tried to get some sleep. When morning rolled around, John and his family came to pick me up. We were leaving that day, so the car was already packed up. We headed straight back from picking me up from Jail. You can only imagine how fuckin awkward the whole car ride was with John’s parents. Especially since John didn't get arrested, and this was really the first time I had met John's parents. They took me on vacation with them, and I get arrested. Apparently that’s frowned upon. The whole car ride I played back the whole situation and thought of all the things I could have done differently. We pulled into my driveway, and my dad was standing there.  He told me to go to my room, while he talked to John's dad. My dad came up later, and was surprisingly calm. Which made me more scared. I was wishing he would have yelled at me, so I could yell back. But instead, he took the other road. He was "disappointed" in me which made me feel even worse. To no surprise, I was grounded. This wasn’t my first rodeo, I knew the routine. I had just got ungrounded, and there I was grounded again. This time around, I was grounded for six months, and I had to pay $3,000  for a lawyer in Florida. Luckily, my lawyer was able to get the charges dropped. Worst part of the night? I didn't even get to see Jennifer's titties; all I got was an "I got arrested for breaking a garbage room door" story from Spring Break. At least Jack was a felon.                  

[shirtlesssammy]

3x16: No Rest for the Wicked

The Road So Far:

I want to write some flip comment that Dean’s going to hell, y’all, but man, this shit still messes with me.

Now:

Dean’s running for his fucking life through a forest, until he runs into invisible hell hounds. I’m guessing it was here that Jensen put his foot down about the Samulet --that thing had to be bouncing everywhere. Dean starts running in the opposite direction until they catch up with him --and he wakes up. 

Ok, I know that hell hounds are scary and all, but the open flames while sleeping? NOPE. Sam finds him and tells him that Bobby’s found a way to find Lilith. Dean’s sweaty and not as relieved as he should be --he’s got 30 hours until go time. Sam tries reassuring his brother that it’s all going to be okay --but Dean’s already starting to see the warped faces that the woman from the last episode saw. 

Pre-TFW perform a locating spell.

Dean is hesitant to head to Indiana, where the spell pinged Lilith. Sam wants to summon Ruby to help with the plan. “She is the Miss Universe of lying skanks.” Tell us what you really think, Dean. Dean insists they find another way. 

Sam does the summoning spell all on his own. 

Ruby arrives and admits that she knew that Lilith held Dean’s contract. Sam and Dean were not ready to know that. Sam demands her knife. She starts circling him and tells him that the knife doesn’t matter. He’s got not-God (*cough cough*) given talent that could defeat Lilith. Man, Ruby plays to all of Sam’s weaknesses. 

Dean pops in, throws out some insults, and demands the knife. We’ve been over this boys, the knife don’t matter. Sam wants to listen to Ruby, Dean doesn’t care. Ruby simply tells them that she wants Lilith dead. Yes, yes, you do. That is the truth. Very, very true. Dean’s gotta get to Hell and break that first seal first though, amirite?  

Fisticuffs ensue. 

It looks like the puny humans don’t stand a chance against the demon, but it was all a ploy to get the knife. THE KNIFE. Also, they trapped Ruby. Smart Dean is smart. 

Packing their gear, Sam starts having doubts. The co-dependency is strong with this episode, guys. Sam wants to save Dean. Dean wants to save Sam. Dean’s Theme starts playing and Dean admits that they’ll do anything for each other --and the bad guys know it. (Chuck knows it.) Dean wants to attack Lilth their way (yaaas --play your game, not hers). Sam admits that Dean should have been “jamming ‘Eye of the Tiger’” during that speech. Dean isn’t amused, but admits that he rehearsed the speech. Bby. Bby boy. 

New Harmony, Indiana

In a nice little gated community, two nice old men exchange pleasantries at their shared mailboxes. One grandfather slips the other man a note before heading back inside his home. It reads, “Help us.”

Once inside, the grandfather steps over a very dead body (his wife?!? MY GOD.) and finds his daughter/son in-law in the kitchen. They’re afraid of their Lilith possessed child/grandchild. The granddaughter shows up in the kitchen soaked in blood. It turns out that Freckles was mean to her. The family is horrified. Her mother tries to act normally. The dad asks the little girl if she’ll let them go. She gets suspicious and the tension grows. She’s good though, silly!

Sam and Dean try taking off but the Impala won’t start. Bobby shows up with a necessary part and is upset that they were trying to ditch him. 

*Iconic Words Alert*

Bobby utters, “Family don’t end with blood, boy.”

Bobby also knows about Dean’s hallucinations. They need his help. 

Later, Sam pushes for deep confessional mode in the car, only for Dean to spurn his attempts to get him to open up. No chick flick moments! Dean turns the music up. “Bon Jovi rocks…on occasion.” He sings “Dead or Alive”, and friends, I am DEAD.

They get pulled over by a cop who calls them out on the Impala’s busted taillight. Dean glances at the cop and then immediately kills him with Ruby’s knife. It turns out the cop was possessed - and Dean could see the demon’s real face. All it took was one look. Bobby tells them that Dean’s almost hell’s bitch so he can see hell’s other bitches. ELOQUENTLY put, Bobby. They realize that demons must be stationed all over town. 

Back with little homicidal Lilith, the family sits down before a feast worthy of Sully’s Imaginary Best Friends Club. 

The little girl asks grandpa why he asked the neighbor for help. He protests, but she’s clearly onto his plan. Her parents deny knowing anything about it and you can see doom scrawled over grandpa’s face. Lilith accuses him of not loving her anymore and snaps his neck right there at the table. The parents serve cake for dinner, utterly terrified. 

Outside, Dean can see that Lilith’s in the little girl. He sees her true face. Dean points out two other demons on patrol: the mailman sorting mail outside at night, and the neighbor that grandpa went to for help. (Wherps.)

Dean is low key horrified at the idea of killing a little girl to kill Lilith, but Sam and Bobby are ready to do whatever it takes. 

The Winchesters and Bobby kill the mailman and neighbor, then Ruby shows up. Dean does a double take at Ruby’s face, grossed out by her demonic visage. Them’s fightin’ words, Dean! Well, they could fight over it...except they’ve got bigger problems. An army of demons appears from all the neighboring houses, chasing them to Lilith’s door. Bobby peels off and we spy him with a bucket and a rosary. Soon after, the sprinklers turn on…it’s raining holy water! Hallelujah it’s raining HOLY WATER. Bobby, you smart son of a bitch. 

They stalk through the house, surprising the dad. Dean knocks him out and stores him safely in the basement behind a line of salt. They creep upstairs to the kid’s bedroom where Lilith and the mom are curled up in bed. The mom whisper-pleads for Sam to kill her daughter but Sam hesitates. He’s just about to bring down the knife when Dean stops him. Lilith has left the little girl! Hooray! Let’s all NOT stew on this extremely traumatized family unit and how this world MEGA needs therapists training in monster lore. Anyway. Bad news: if Lilith is no longer in the girl, then she’s possessing someone else now. 

Sam begs Ruby for help - he’ll do whatever she tells him to if it means he can save his brother. (Holy foreshadowing for Season 4, Batman!) Dean shouts him down. No stupid mistakes, Sammy! 

The clock strikes midnight dramatically. (Good thing this family has a big ol’ dramatic grandfather clock, to help us keep track of demon deals.) A hound growls from inside the house and everyone races for a room with a door that closes. Dean spreads goofer dust frantically along the window and doors of the office. Ruby demands the knife so she can try and keep the hellhound at bay and buy Dean some time. Dean takes a hard look at Ruby and realizes…it’s not her! He sees a different demon face now. It’s LILITH. 

Lilith pins Dean to the desk while she kisses Sam. NOT COOL, demons! What’s with demons and all the kissing? Smh. Dean tries to ask her about her plan and Lilith smirks in response. She opens the door to the office. 

The hellhound races in and tears into Dean while Sam’s pinned to the wall. Dean is pulled to the floor and torn apart while Sam watches. I think the worst part is definitely how Dean starts out screaming and then can’t even scream at the very end. SHUDDER.

shudder

After Dean dies, Lilith triumphantly raises a hand to smite Sam.

She can’t kill Sam, which is a huge surprise to both of them. Sam hauls out Ruby’s knife, only for Lilith to smoke out. He’s left alone with two bodies on the floor. He picks up Dean’s lifeless body and weeps.

The camera moves in, plunging us into Dean’s mind and through...to the other side.

We descend into another world, down to Hell. It’s dark and full of lightning, an endless spider’s web of chains and misery. Dean’s strung up by meathooks jammed into his skin. He screams for Sam, and his screams carry us into the black of the season break.

Holy Quotehounds, Batman!

Either we go in smart or we don’t go in at all

She is the Miss Universe of lying skanks

Um... demon. Manipulative's kinda in the job description

She probably wants you to become her little antichrist Super Star

Do I look like a ditchable prom-date to you?

I think you totally should have been jamming "Eye of the Tiger" right there

If this is my last day on earth, I do not want it to be socially awkward

Family don't end with blood, boy

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive! 

[shirtlesssammy]

The Third Man: 6x03 Recap

Then:

Sam’s miraculously out of the pit, I liked Lisa, and Cas is a BAMF

Now:

At the local cop shop locker room, Officer My Face is Sloughing Off is 1000% squicking me out. He quickly dissolves into a pile of goo in front of his fellow officers.

We cut to Dean and Lisa sharing a quiet, intimate moment in the small hours of the morning, only to have a Mack truck startle Dean out of what was actually just a dream. He’s on the road, sleeping in the Impala. This moment makes me wonder. I think it’s generally understood that Dean went to Lisa because he thought that was what Sam wanted of him. Hunting is a part of Dean --but I look at this dream and think that he’s lying to himself if he doesn’t also want ..something more, as Sam asked him in 11x04. This dream is between Dean and the audience. And it’s certainly coming at time when he’s struggling with what he wants/who he is.

Meanwhile:

Shirtless Sammy!

Sam’s so good in bed that the escort he paid to spend the night with (!!) is totes willing to spend time with him off the clock. Sam throws her number away (!!!). He then gets a call from his brother, and Sam informs Dean that he’s caught a case. Dean’s perplexed by Sam’s all-business attitude, but agrees to meet him in Pennsylvania. I just sorta really love Soulless!Sam.

In Speed Trap Dirt Road USA, Officer Lex Luthor enjoys a nice day of not making an effort at ticketing speeding drivers. He does have better things to do since his face is boiling off! These are really great/gross death scenes.

Arriving in Pennsylvania, Dean is preoccupied being a dad and chastising Ben over the phone for lying. Sarcastic!Sammy makes an appearance. I remember watching this the first time thinking Sam is so ooc and an asshole…little did I know. Sam assures Dean that ditching Lisa is “better for everyone” (!!), and the brothers share barbs about their respective cars.

Once inside the morgue, Sam gives Dean the lowdown on Officers Liquid and Boils. They decide to interview Ed Colfax, who witnessed his co-worker’s liquefaction. But first some Rad Racer:

Once at Officer Colfax’s home, Dean compliments the policeman on his snazzy get up --hat and all. Ah Dean, never one to not notice a man in uniform. Something’s off about the man though. He slams the door in Sam and Dean’s faces. Sam does the only logical thing and kicks open the door. I echo Dean’s sentiment with a “Dude!” Once in the house, they notice all the pictures on the wall have their faces scratched out, and Ed sitting at the kitchen table continuing to scratch out more pictures. 

He tells them “Don’t worry about it.” and then scratches at his head. They ask if his fellow officers had any enemies, and Ed admits that they both had it coming --him as well. Then he pours himself a generous cup of whiskey, telling them that God wants them dead because of Christopher Birch. He knocks the whiskey bottle over and can only stare as the golden liquid pours to the floor. 

Sam asks who Christopher Birch is. “Christopher Birch is a kid with no face, and a planted gun,” Ed responds, and then blood begins to trickle down his face. He falls over, dead. Sam removes his hat to reveal a giant hole and locusts crawling in and out of it. A+ death squickiness this episode.

Back at their hotel, the brothers start research on why ancient biblical plagues are terrorizing the people in this town. Sam confirms the Christopher Birch story. Dean is still skeptical that this is heaven’s work. He comes up with the brilliant idea of calling Cas.

Sam insists that Cas isn’t listening. He’s tried many times. Dean still wants to give it a go.

And much to Sam’s chagrin, Cas appears.

**CLASSIC TFW ALERT**

Sam mocks Cas’s greeting. Cas confirms that “Hello” is still the proper greeting. Sam gets indignant that Cas ignored him for so long, and yet Dean calls once and *Poof* he’s here.

Sam: So, what, you -- you like him better or something?

Cas: Dean and I do share a more profound bond.

Cas: (to Dean) I wasn't gonna mention it.

In all that’s been made of this little exchange, it’s not the “profound bond” that gets me --it’s the little aside, just to Dean, when he clarifies that he wasn’t going to bring it up but Sam forced his hand.

Dean chastises Cas a bit for ignoring Sam’s pleas. Cas couldn’t help, after all has has NO CLUE who *cough* he did *cough* brought him back from the cage. Also, Cas came back to check in on the plague situation. And let me pause right here and scream into the void over Edlund’s writing of Cas. I know I’m just one more voice that feels this way, but he does it in such a way to make Cas strong, and awkward, and smart. Over the years, Cas has sometimes wandered into broad naive awkwardness at times, but this whole scene highlights his foreign-ness in a hilarious but believable way.

Cas then tells the boys that heaven isn’t killing these people but one of heaven’s weapons is causing them: the staff of Moses. However, the weapon isn’t at full strength so Cas does a little detective work and rules out Moses as a suspect.

Dean wonders why “Chuck Heston’s disco stick” is Earth-side. Cas informs them that heaven is in chaos, and some weapons were stolen.

Cas asks the brothers for their help in locating this weapon. Sam scoffs at the irony. CHUCK DAMNIT, just help him! Listen to him! Let’s rewrite season 6! (Oh wait, they did with season 12! Ha, Cas STILL DIED. WTF, show? Why must you torture us? Haha, I’m fine, it’s all good. I’m not spiraling into late-season hellatus madness at all.) Needless to say, Cas is done with their crap. For the past “year”, he’s been a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. More people will die without the Winchester’s intervention.

So, back to the case, the only lead they have is the father of Christopher Birch asking for an investigation into his death.

Cas flaps in with the Winchesters to investigate Darrell Birch, the father of the person the cops framed. They land right in the guy’s living room. Sam bridges Darrell’s what-the-fuck gap by immediately flashing his FBI badge.

They immediately try to shake the truth from their purported perp.

Cas: You smote them with the Staff of Moses.

Darrell: What kind of Fed are you?

Cas: Real “Fed” up with your runaround.

Aaron, Darrell’s son, comes in pointing a segment of the Staff of Moses at the three. Cas flaps over and takes the staff from the boy. Aaron pleads for leniency - he was the one who brought destruction on the cops who killed his brother. They ask him where he got the weapon.

He prayed for help and an angel gave it to him, but never told him his name. Dean has a hard time believing that it was just a benevolent gift and he looms over Aaron, insisting on the truth. It turns out that Aaron bought a section of the Staff of Moses in exchange for his soul. Cas zonks Aaron out and flaps everyone back to the hotel room before you can say, “He really puts the ass in Cas.”

“Cas, you realize you just kidnapped a kid,” Dean points out, supremely weirded out. Cas explains that he wants to see the brand on the kid’s soul - that’ll tell him who bought it. Cas begins rolling up his sleeves so he can stick his arm into Aaron and get a read on his soul. It’ll be excruciatingly painful for Aaron, but productive. Sam’s on board with this plan and Dean is HORRIFIED. (Oh, Dean Bean.)

While Aaron gets tortured by Cas’s inquisition, Dean spares a glance at his stone cold brother. His spider sense is tingling… (Boris interjects: I think this whole scene is a great example of how casual viewers watch the show vs. fans that really take the time to analyze things. I was 100% casual the first viewing and I was eye-rolling through the whole season. Sam was such a jerk! Cas didn't care about humans? But this scene is just screaming at the audience that there's something amiss with both of them!)

Cas identifies the soul purchaser as Balthazar, just in time for one of Raphael’s loyal angels to spring in and attack. Cas and the other angel fight, eventually falling from the window and smashing into Sam’s car below.

“Okay, silver lining,” Dean remarks upon seeing Sam’s squished car. Cas flaps back upstairs and starts puttering around the kitchen. The Winchesters want to know NOW what the hell was going on with that angel attack. It turns out that Raphael wants to run Heaven and if he wins, the apocalypse restarts. So, it’s civil war up in Heaven. No wonder Cas is cranky.

Cas starts outlining a spell in chalk on a tabletop. He confesses that he didn’t talk to Dean and Sam because he was ashamed of the state of affairs up in Heaven. The spell activates and tracks Balthazar. Cas immediately flaps them to Balthazar’s little hidey hole: a giant, opulent mansion.

Cas infiltrates the mansion and tracks Balthazar to a swinging, disco-lit room. The doors slam shut behind him. Balthazar swans in, a drink held in his hand. He’s already fought off the other angel who had attacked Cas earlier and has clearly used the Staff of Moses on him. A frog emerges from the angel’s lips.

Balthazar: You know, the old frog in the throat. Castiel: Even I know that that's a bad joke.

(Me: Sasstiel… <3 )

Cas tells him that he mourned his death and then tries to get to the bottom of what Balthazar is up to down on Earth. Cas tells him that he’s an honorable soldier. He’s not a thief. But Balthazar contests that he stole Heaven’s weapon stash because he could. Free will!

“You're the one who made it possible,” Balthazar tells him. “The footsteps I'm following -- they're yours. What you did, stopping the big plan, the prize fight? You did more than rebel. You tore up the whole script and burned the pages for all of us. It's a new era. No rules, no destiny. Just utter and complete freedom.”

Cas disapproves. MEGA strongly. He begs Balthazar for the weapons. Only with those will he beat Raphael and his minions. Balthazar assures him that even if they manage to defeat Raphael, Cas won’t be able to put a stop to the angelic infighting.

Thunder rumbles...Raphael’s arrived.

Balthazar flaps out, leaving Cas alone in the house. Sam and Dean attract two minions and use an angel-banishing sigil to zap them away. Cas kills one other, then Raphael takes hold and starts kicking the crap out of Cas.

Things are looking bad for the Rebel Alliance when Balthazar sashays back in. He holds out a chunk of rock and turns Raphael’s vessel into rock salt. He’s about to peace out again when Dean lights a circle of holy fire around him. Dean demands that Balthazar free Aaron’s soul and under some duress (and some hard core looks from Cas - see Exhibit A below) he releases his debt.

Exhibit A

Souls are extremely valuable and furthermore, they imbue their possessors with immense power. Dean wants to keep grilling Balthazar but Cas puts the fire out, thus clearing his debt to his old friend. Balthazar flaps out, and Cas follows quickly thereafter, leaving Dean and Sam alone.

Sam and Dean pack up the trunk of the Impala (now that Sam’s car is totaled he’s back to riding with Dean). Dean asks if Sam’s feeling okay but Sam protests that he’s totally fine. Sam insists that he’s just rough around the edges but Dean’s not so sure. Sam was in Hell and Hell is...Hell. Sam floats the idea that Hell was torture for Dean, but Sam’s made of stronger stuff. (Me: wraps Dean in a soft, woolen blanket.) The episode closes with the brothers hopping in the car together, Dean intensely uncomfortable and suspicious.

The Last Time Someone Quoted at Me Like This, I Got Laid:

Who died and made you boss?

Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray to Castiel to get his feathery ass down here.

“It’s nice to know what matters.” “It does help one to focus.”

I think we can rule Moses out as a suspect.

Friggin’ angels.

I was expecting more Doctor No, less Liberachi.

You might as well blow coke and jump on the bed.

[shirtlesssammy]

Metamorphosis: Recap

Then:

Remember when Cas was Team Heaven? How far we’ve come. (Also, we’re neck deep in “Sam is loving that demon blood”)

Now:

Sam and Ruby have a demon held hostage, and after some fun back and forth banter, Sam sucks the demon out of his vessel and sends him straight to hell. Ruby’s proud of her little Padawan. Dean, who secretly witnessed Sam’s little trick, seems less than impressed. And as Sam is helping the former meatsuit stand, Dean reveals himself. Before Sam can explain himself, Dean demands to know who his buddy really is. “Good to see you again, Dean,” Ruby smirks. With Ruby’s real identity unmasked, Dean tries taking her out (with her own blade), but Sam intercedes.

At an impasse, Ruby takes the wounded man to the hospital, and Dean, too pissed to talk, walks away from Sam without a word.

Later, Sam is alone in the motel, presumably reading up on how to move beyond regretful sartorial choices, when Dean shows up. Dean’s still not talking, and just starts to pack his bags. Sam wants to talk, but Dean just punches him a couple times. “Do you even know how far off the reservation you’ve gone?” Sam tells Dean that he can send demons back to hell. Aggghhh, this whole scene is Supernatural 101. It’s so important for this season —for most seasons, for understanding Sam, who he was, who he thinks he still is. And it’s so great for how far Dean has changed. (Sidenote: I wonder if there’s a gif set of all the times Dean has smashed lamps in anger?) Sam pleads with Dean that what he’s doing is good. Dean wonders why he hid it from him then. Dean then says that “God doesn’t want you doing this.” Hmm, like we know that Cas didn’t get his orders from God, but Chuck will tell Sam that drinking demon blood is wrong!?!? Anyway, before the brothers can continue their conversation, Sam gets a call —they have a case.

Carthage, Missouri

A very hungry man is devouring his dinner. His wife is slightly concerned when he dives into his third steak of the night. He’s never felt better though! Later, as he’s brushing his teeth, his spine does some funky stuff. Looks painful to say the least.

On the road, Dean fills Sam in on his trip back in time.

“I can’t believe it! Mom? A hunter?” Hahaha. Oh, Sammy. Ok, I don’t think either son fully grasped that fact really. They continue discussing the craziness that is their Campbell side of the family, when Sam mentions demon blood. Dean didn’t tell him about the demon blood but Sam apparently knew about it for a year. Dean is A-OK with Sam keeping that little secret. Yep, totally cool.

Meanwhile, Hungry Man, or Jack, is impatiently waiting for dinner.

The boys are staking out Jack’s house. Their hunting buddy, Travis, told them to keep an eye out for anything weird. So far, Dean is less than impressed with this job.

Patience evaporated, Jack digs into some leftover chicken from the fridge. How disgusting is it to watch him eat? I know it’s the point, but ugh. Not a fan. He quickly goes from cooked chicken to uncooked beef. I can barely watch this. Blarf. Sam and Dean concur.

Back at their motel, Sam and Dean find Travis, the hunter buddy of John’s who called Sam. They briefly catch up before Travis reveals why he called them. “Boys, we’ve got a rugaru on our hands.” They start human but go through a metamorphosis, “like a maggot turning into a bull fly.” They’re hungry —for most everything, and then just “long pig”, or human flesh.

As Travis talks, we’re shown Jack, hungry as ever, stalking the family fridge, when his wife cuts her hand. She needs stitches, but instead of helping her, he runs. See, one bite of human flesh, the change is complete. “They feed once, they’re a monster forever.” *Is this relevant to the season 12 story? Alert* It seems that this particular form of monster is hereditary. Travis killed his father, and now Jack must go too.

At a bar, Jack is busy munching on very unsatisfying peanuts and slamming back whiskeys, and trying not to fantasize about his wife’s cut finger. He tries standing up for a lady towards some fat, sweaty dick, and ending up pulverizing the dude’s wrist. Shocked at his own strength, he leaves in a hurry.

Travis informs Dean that fire is the only way to take out a rugaru.

Sam comes back to the motel. He’s been doing research on rugaru lore. It seems that some rugaru never take that final step. They never transform. Travis calls the stories that Sam read fairytales. Sam insists that they need to talk to Jack, tell him what’s happening so he can fight it. And then we get the --don’t read too much into it because it’ll break your heart—exchange: Travis asks, “You’ve ever been really hungry? I mean, ‘haven’t eaten in days’ hungry?” and Dean’s very hungry response, “Yeah.” (Too late. My heart is broken.) Travis is on Team Kill Him No Matter What and Sam is on Team Only If He Kills Someone.

Back at the house Michelle prepares a nice, relaxing cup of post-ER coffee when Jack shows up again. He looms over her, apologizing profusely for flaking out on her. “Blood’s never bothered you before,” she says, softening towards him.

“Well,” he replies ominously, “I’ve changed.”

He passionately kisses her, but it swiftly turns rapey and she shoves him away, angry and disgusted. Jack runs off.

In the Impala, Dean asks Sam if he’s willing to finish the job, a.k.a burn a guy alive. “He’s gonna turn. They always turn,” Dean says. Sam still holds out hope for the guy, though. Dean, ever the subtle, tactful sort, says, “Nice dude, but he’s got something evil inside him. Something in his blood. Maybe you can relate.” (It is SUCH a dick thing to say. I have to remind myself that Dean just got out of Hell, he’s got angels all up in his business, and he chronically suffers from self-hatred that he liberally overflows onto others. Still. Dick move, Dean.)

Sam is NOT taking that shit (good on you, Sammy) and orders Dean to stop the car. They get out of Baby so Sam can read Dean the riot act. The reason he hasn’t told Dean is because Dean treats Sam like an idiot, a freak, someone who can’t tell the difference between right and wrong. 

“I’ve got demon blood in me, Dean. This disease pumping in my veins and I can’t ever rip it out or scrub it clean. I’m a whole new level of freak.” Sam is just trying to make something good come out of the curse.

Dean (to everyone’s surprise?) chills out a little bit. He agrees to go talk to Jack about his rugaru affliction before they make any kind of combative move.

They find Jack watering his garden disconsolately. 

Sam tells Jack that they want to talk to him about how he’s “changing.”

“Your appetite’s reaching hungry hungry hippo levels,” Dean helpfully contributes, telling Jack that he’s a rugaru. “Let’s skip the whole ‘you guys sound crazy,’ shall we?” They know Jack has been craving “long pig. A little man-burger helper.” (Damn it, Dean.)

To clinch their masterful hunter-savior sales pitch, the Winchesters tell him that his real father was killed by hunters for being a murderous rugaru.

That news goes over just about as well as you’d expect, and Jack orders them to leave his property.

Later that night, Jack sits at a bus stop listening to a voicemail from Michelle begging him to come home. He sees a woman who bears a close resemblance to his wife (I thought it was at first and was so confused - I’m terrible at facial recognition) at her window getting ready for bed. When she closes the curtains, he gets up from the bench and heads for the fire escape outside of her window.

“Damn it, Jack,” Sam says from inside the Impala where he and Dean have presumably been sitting and spying on him for...minutes or hours in their super incognito car. (Between them and Jack it’s like a nesting doll of spying.) They grab their improvised flame torches and head for the apartment complex.

From the fire escape, Jack watches the woman undress as he shakes outside the window. She turns out the light and he suddenly sees his reflection in the now dark window and gasps. He looks pale, sick, and half rabid. Horrified, he flees the scene. 

Meanwhile, Dean and Sam burst into the woman’s apartment. “We’re here to save you, I guess,” Dean says waving his flame thrower around awkwardly. They quickly realize there is not currently a bloody rugaru attack going down, they’ve become the creepiest people in the room, and they flee the scene as well.  

Jack heads home, calling for Michelle when he gets inside. He finds her tied to a chair. Travis sneaks behind Jack and drugs him with a chloroform soaked rag. Jack wakes to find himself tied up. He desperately tells Michelle to stay calm and give the crazy home intruder anything they want.

Travis reveals that he’s a hunter and Jack begs Travis for their lives - Michelle’s in particular since she’s innocent.

Travis apologizes but claims that Michelle is part of it now. When she opened the door to a crazy home invader, she begged for her life by saying, “Don’t hurt me, because I’m pregnant.” Fuuuuuuck.

Travis pulls out a gas can and starts shaking fuel all over the living room. Or...the couch? It was unclear. Regardless, Jack desperately begins to hulk out in a last ditch attempt to save their lives. The scene even intercuts to animations of blood pumping so you KNOW it’s serious.

JACK SMASH. He and Travis tangle on the floor until, what was briefly a normal desperate fight for your life situation, turns a bit more beastly. Jack rips open Travis’ shirt and takes a great big bite out of Travis’ neck. Travis dies quickly as Jack consumes his throat and shoulder.

Now that Jack has eaten “long pig” (UGH) he begins to transform into a pale, wrinkly creature (not unlike the first vampire from Buffy). Michelle weeps to witness this and Jack approaches her in comfort. Sorry, buddy. You are covered in man-burger helper. Jack unties her and begs brokenly as she runs out of the house. After she leaves he looks down at the hunter lying dead on the floor.

Sam and Dean pull up to the house, spotting Travis’ car outside. They tsk over Travis’ hotheaded ways, then walk inside to find an empty house, a massive blood stain on the floor, and a trail of gore leading around the corner. The bloody trail, like every rainbow in an evil mirror universe, ends in a pile of entrails.

“I guess you were right about Jack,” Sam sadly admits.

There’s no time for Dean to rub Sam’s face in it (gross), or to wax on about evil monsters never changing their ways. Out of nowhere Jack attacks Dean and knocks Sam out. Sam wakes up some time later, trapped in a closet. He yells for his brother.

“Dean can’t come to the phone right now,” Jack says brokenly.

Dean’s alive but knocked out and Jack stares and stares at his pretty, pretty throat. (Sorry, guys, that got weird.) ANYWAY, Jack tells Sam about Travis trying to burn Michelle alive. When Sam asks why Travis went after Michelle, Jack pretends not to know to protect her life and his unborn child’s.

Jack creeps up on Dean and licks some of his spilled blood from the table. “I can’t ever see my family again,” says the monster who now has nothing to lose.

Sam tries to stay calm and works at picking the lock. (In this rare Supernatural episode, Sam becomes the Winchester struggling to get out of the closet.)(Boris: Bwaahhh!)

He tells Jack that he doesn’t have to be a monster. “It doesn’t matter what you are. It only matters what you do.” Aw! Keep telling yourself that, Sammy. (Seriously, keep telling everyone that all the way through season eleventy-billion. They need to hear it.)

Jack writhes in agony and leans towards Dean with his hungry, hungry mouth opening hippo wide. Sam busts out of the closet just in time and torches Jack.

Later, in the Impala Dean tells Sam that he did the right thing - torching Jack. He had turned into a monster. Dean apologizes for being “kinda hard” on Sam. But “your psychic thing scares the crap outta me.” Good talk, Dean. A+ social skills.

In response, Sam is just done.™ Dean can’t understand where Sam is coming from and Sam is tired of talking to his judgy brother about it. “These powers,” Sam says, finally. “It’s playing with fire. I’m done with ‘em.”

Dean tells him he’s relieved and you can just sense he’s about to launch into another Mean Lean Dean Bean Lecture. He doesn’t get the chance, though. Sam tells Dean that stopping using his powers is his choice - he‘s not doing it for Dean or angels or anyone. So there. (Sticks out tongue.)

Natasha: It’s been such a long time since I rewatched this that I forgot basic things, like if Jack ever even fully transformed into a rugaru. I also forgot that this episode gave us the “whole new level of freak” quote and laid much of the groundwork for the tension between the brothers in the later half of the season.

Supernatural has revisited this question many times: does being a monster automatically make you guilty/evil by association? We’re examining that in season 12 with the British Men of Letters so the tension between the brothers in this episode feels especially relevant. They’ve both come a long way. Sam, in feeling less guilty and Dean, in chilling out and being willing to give people the benefit of the doubt. It’ll be interesting to see how their experiences shape the way they deal with the BMoL. I can imagine similar conversations with Mary, Mick, or Ketch in the future - probably, let’s be honest, in just two weeks when things get hairy for Claire-bear.

Quote-burger Helper:

The knife kills the victim. What I do - most of them survive!

If I didn’t know you, I would wanna hunt you.

I told you we shoulda hid the beer.

Sam loves research. He does. He keeps it under his mattress, right next to his KY.

We’re people who know a little something about something.