#ChristopherDang

[nickeless]

I’ve been pretty blessed so far in my life that I haven’t really had to deal with death of a loved one too often. In my life I’ve only lost two family members and I’ve been lucky enough to not lose any close friends.

When I was young my great aunt passed away. My sister and I were very close to her. I was only maybe seven or eight when she passed, but I can still remember the exact moment my mom told me she was in the hospital. At the time it was just me and my mom. My sister was still living with my dad. We were living in Fox Chase apartments at the time and I was in my mom room jumping on her bed watching tv. My mom came in with a worried look on her face and she broke the news to me. I don’t think I really understood the full extent of going on, but I remember seeing my moms face and I instantly became sad.

I don’t remember anything after that. I don’t remember going to the hospital. I don’t remember if she passed right away or if I got to see her again. I don’t remember her funeral. I don’t remember that I had to go to counseling because I had a hard time dealing with the loss. I don’t even remember having a hard time with it.

I do remember how she smelled. I remember that she was the one who taught me how to Đọc kinh (pray in Vietnamese). I remember the way her Thịt kho tasted. I remember that the reason I love the smell of moth balls is because her house always smelled like them.

I wouldn’t have to deal with death again until my early 20′s when my grandpa on my mom’s side passed. To be honest, I wasn’t very close to my grandpa. I rarely saw him and we never really talked when I did. I was sad for sure, but more so sad for my family. My uncles, my cousins that were close to him, my mom. I was sad for them and about the fact that I didn’t know how to comfort them. All I could do was be there. Then one Wednesday a couple of weeks ago I get a phone call from my uncle at 4 in the morning. I didn’t wake up to it. Then my dad calls me a little later and I half woke up, but my dad calls me at random times all the time so I thought nothing of it and decided I would call him back after I woke up. Then my mom calls me. The fact that she’s calling me this early I already knew something was wrong. When she answered the phone my heart dropped. When she told me about your passing, I broke. I didn’t know I could sob so hard. I don’t know how long I was kneeling at the foot of my bed crying in disbelief. I’ve never felt such a deep level of despair, I just couldn’t grasp the idea that you were gone. 

When the tears finally stopped and I could breath again, I just sat there. I called my family members, they all insisted that I either go to my uncles or go to work to stay busy. I couldn’t call your brothers, I couldn’t imagine the pain they were going through and I know that I wasn’t strong enough to handle it. My uncle had a class and my aunt was at work, so I decided to go to work. I couldn’t focus, I randomly had mini break downs. So I left after only a few hours of being there. I had no idea what to do. So I went to church. I went to the chapel, sat in the back and just cried. I remember my cousin posting something about how when we had a scare with her brother and his surgery she went to the same chapel and cried, and others who happened to be there just sat next to her and held her hand while she cried. I wanted that. I wanted someone to just sit with me, with out any questions, let me cry and just hold my hand. But no one ever did. I guess that’s the difference between seeing a young girl and a grown man crying. Everyone just avoided me as I sat in the back trying my best to not disturb their prayers. I prayed and I cried and I felt so alone for hours.

I got no comfort sitting there praying. I was lost. I had no idea what I was supposed to do. How was I supposed to feel? I didn’t want to be alone, but I don’t want to be around anyone. I called a couple of my friends, but what was I supposed to say? I called my friend Jon Jon to see if he wanted to grab some coffee, but he was having lunch with a friend. He invited me to lunch but I declined, and we decided to meet up after his lunch. So with no where to go I just sat there in my car. I felt numb, alone. I knew everyone in my family was trying to be strong and put on a brave face, and I wanted to do that as well. But I didn’t know how. I didn’t know how to process my emotions. I didn’t know how to handle the emptiness I felt. After some time Jon Jon finished his lunch, we met up and grabbed some coffee. I told him what was going on and as I did I just broke down again. There are only a handful of people who I’ve ever cried in front of. That didn’t help.

That night I picked up my aunt, took her to my uncle’s house and we just sat together and talked. None of it felt real, I still couldn’t come to terms with the fact that all of this was actually happening. I told my aunt about how I just talked to you that Saturday. How you wanted to go see a movie the day before but I was busy, and how you wanted to get dinner on Sunday but I was busy. I felt so guilty. On the night you passed I was literally down the street from your apartment Chris. I should have been there for you. I fucking always talk about how much I love my family and how lucky I am to have such an amazing one, but I constantly get caught up in my own shit and take for granted what I’ve been given. I didn’t even get to see you again. I was right fucking there. I could have walked to your house. I should have come over. I should have invited you out. I should have told you how much I love you. Growing up always feeling like an outcast, you always made me feel like I was your brother. You stood up for me, and you were the first person to say I’m proud of you. I felt like such a failure in the family’s eyes, a huge disappointment. But you were the first to see how hard I was working, and how proud I was of myself for what I’ve managed to accomplish. And where was I when you needed me most, two fucking blocks from your house getting drunk.

I saw your baby brother the next day, your parents and him flew out to Houston to start the process of collecting your belongings and bring you home to Jacksonville. I held your weeping brother trying to keep it together for him, trying to be strong for him.

I wouldn’t cry again until I saw your casket. I couldn’t cry at your funeral or the many prayer sessions that were held in your name. What the fuck is wrong with me. The only time I could cry was when it was just the family and you.

Chris, I love you so much brother. You were such a bright light in all of our lives and your passing is a great loss to humankind. I’m still lost. I still don’t know what to do or how to move forward. Being with the family laughing and crying helped. But now that I’m home and back to my every day I don’t know what to do. I miss you so much

[schattenmagier]

[ Continued from here // @christopher-danger ]

She had told him to get lost! To leave her alone! But did the man listen? Apparently not. So she had to get her point across in a different way it seemed. And so the thief had stabbed him. It had been so easy. He had given her enough time to figure a way out to get one of her blades behind his armor. But even though Lilli had done such a violent act, she had made sure to not hit a critical point. There was no need to spill more blood than needed, and a warning should be enough… at least thats what she hoped.

After her attack the girl quickly brought a small distance between her and the mercenary, just in case he decided to attack her too. But it seemed like he didn’t… He was to busy with enduring the pain apparently.

                     “I warned you… More than once…”

Well, she did and he got more warnings than she would usually give someone. And Christopher was lucky that she hadn’t slit his throad…

[scribblytchotchkes]

It’s everyone’s favorite hobo! Christopher Danger!

@christopher-danger needed some new expressions for his RP blog, so I hooked him up. <3 These were fun to do, I never get to draw beards so YAYAYA--

[rnayhern]

christopher-danger replied to your post: // AND THEN I IMAGINE CHOUX LEADING SOME SORT OF...

“…Am I shitty Miss Choux?” SAD HOBO D:

   “Chrihihiiis, buddy! Don’t--...don’t gimme that look, hah? You’re basically a toon, arready! Rememba that one time? Eh?”

[isi--peasy]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @christopher-danger!!!!!!!! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

[spiral-cursed]

@christopher-danger ll From Here

“Honestly, I’m in tha’ same boat as ya'self lady, jus’…Ah…Smile an’ wave an’ hang by me…” Chris smiled awkwardly as he stood beside them, glancing around the bustling room…Of targets. Chris didn’t know the lady too well, but maybe she could be helpful for his thieving ways!

Or a disaster.

๑ - She had meant that phrase to be muttered out loud to herself, not really expecting anyone else to hear her. Kirie hadn’t realized how much more nervous she had become of large crowds until now- hand reaching to the back of her head to make sure her hair wasn’t growing out again. 

With a shaky sigh, she closed her eyes, pressing her back against the wall and her hands against her ears to try and block out as much of the noise as she could.

“I don’t want to be here right now...”

[the-self-exiled]

dangerous-times:

Chris stumbled out from the door behind Crystallin, and gave himself a swift tidy as he brushed down his hoodie, carefully set his hat in the comfiest of positions, and adjusted his beard accordingly. He was ready to behave!

“I’ll be tha’ judge of how nice these seats are, ma’am! An’ best I get round an’ used t’everywhere else, can’t coop myself up in tha’ bedroom all tha’ time, right?” Though, likely the best way to make sure he doesn’t misbehave.

“Good,” she nodded. She wanted to stay too. It would be quite nice to sit and eat out like she’d seen people do. It looked fun. “This way then. It’s supposed t’ be right down the street. We’re looking for a sign for cafe Marigold,” she explained, already heading of down the street.

At least she remembered to keep to the sidewalk.

@the-self-exiled

[dahsar]

FASHION DESIGNER CHRISTOPHER DANG in our 'TELE' 5PANEL #christopherdang #dahsar (at Downtown Chestnut Street)

[schattenmagier]

[ Continued from here // @christopher-danger ]

What? Was he trying to play the tough guy now or what? If he indeed was trying to appear so, Chri was doing an awful job. Even a kid would be able to tell that the man was nervous… Geez. Why were some guys just like this…

                “… You don’t… have to act zhis vay…”

Lilli muttered after a moment of hesiation, and gave him a short glance before she also started to lick at her ice cream. Hell… Why was she trying to be nice to him now? She shouldn’t even have gotten herself involved into his mess! The young mage wasn’t the ‘hero’ type, so why had she the feeling that she had to help the blonde? Shit…

“Uh… I zhink I asked you already everything I had to know…                                   So, yeah… I dunno…               Maybe… You vant to tell me something…?”

Was she really offering him right now if he wanted to vent to her? Well… yes. Even if it was badly expressed from her side. She was also acting awful nice towards Chris. And that was unusual too. She guessed that he would notice that too, and quickly added before he could get any stupid ideas:

“Except it’s flirting… zhen you can shove zhat up your ass…”

Nailed it…

[schattenmagier]

🍦- Vanilla with sprinkles! "Might as well enjoy tha' good weather tha' best way we can!"

[ Treat my muse // Accepting ]

🍦- some ice cream (specify what kind)

That he would want to get out in such a moment surprised Lilli. Some Mafia-guy, who wants to kill Chris is around these parts, and the hobo wants to go out and treat her to ice cream… She seriously wondered about Christopher’s sanity sometimes.

       “Kind of… a veird moment to treat me to ice cream…                                        Don’t you zhink?”

The girl asked when the blonde returned to her with the promised cold food. Quickly she took the ice from him as he handed it to her, and gave Chris a silent ‘thank you’. Then she sat back on the park bench where she had waited of his return before, but her eyes never left the man. Wasn’t he… nervous? Because she was! Hell, who wouldn’t if they were in such a situation like him?

[schattenmagier]

christopher-danger replied to your post: “… I vant to punch zhat guy-”

“Is…Is it me this time?” Curious now, as this was sometimes the case!

“Zhis may be surprising for you now... But no. It isn’t you zhis time, Chris...”

That could change any moment tho...

[schattenmagier]

°•°

[Get a nickname from my muse! // Accepting ]

She should give him a nickname? Hell, she didn’t even knew his real name! Well, perhaps she should just choose one of the words she had heard on her travels. Something that fit this mans character.

                                         “… Churl…”

An insult…

[schattenmagier]

[ Continued from here @christopher-danger ]

                            “Vhat? An insult? From ME?                  Chris, I am hurt zhat you vould zhink zhat! Vhy should I use an insult as nickname for my favorite ‘Gratler’?”

Aaaand more german words...

[rnayhern]

💯

💯 What is my muse’s ideal date?

Drinking, dancing, and making mischief by painting the town red. Those are usually the staples to any date with Choux. Although she’s really not opposed to staying in and watching old cartoons and movies, either.

[rnayhern]

@christopher-danger ❤’d for a starter!

   “Well, look what the cat dragged in!“ She’d almost forgotten about the blue-capped, British wanderer. Giving him a chummy and slightly hard slap on the back, a noodly arm snaked around his shoulders.

   “How you been, Blondie? Not lookin’ any worse for the wear. Heheh!”

[rnayhern]

📚

   “Ou-yay are-ay a elly-smay obo-hay~!”