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New reference of Lilli and Nox I have been drawing almost more in the few days of the new year than in the whole last one lol

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Despite me feeling down, I finished these two for my rp promo on Lilli's blog. Hadn't done a new one in a while ^^

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You okay? What makes your think so bad of yourself? :(

Ahhhh. I'm feeling better than earlier, after taking a nap.

And I don't fuckin know. While having my friend on the phone, and showing him my art, I came across old stuff I made for one of my ex-friends. One who I broke the friendship with while in a fight with her. She is a streamer and I used to make her emotes, screens, pannels, etc... And it reminded me about some of the shit she said to me.

Like. I drew her stuff more in my 'cartoonish' style. Because it's simple, and good for emotes than something more detailed. At least imo. And to her request, I showed her my actual artstyle. To which I got the comment like 'Well. I think you should stick to the cartoonish style. Because I think your artstyle kinda sucks'. Like yes, thank you. Great words to hear from a friend.

That's one thing that I remembered that got me in that mode but also. I saw a drawing I made for her birthday. As a gift. Of her and her cat. And I even went out of my way to do it traditionally instead of digitally, even tho I don't really do traditional drawing anymore. Made me remember the other gifts I got her. I was trying to be thoughtfull. And then the time came where I was doing my driving license, and work was hell. I barely had any freetime, so I couldn't join in on her stream as much as before.

She knew that, because we had talked about this before. But damn. It wasn't as accepted as I was thinking. The last time I joined in on her stream, it was almost her birthday. And there was some... hostility towards me in the stream from her? I brushed it off, and just thought she's stressed. But in discord I told her that I need a little longer to send her the gifts i got her. (again, it's not like I had that much freetime) And man. She read it, while streaming, and it was obvious that she felt so bad suddenly. For that moment at least.

Long story short, after the stream, she messaged me back. Told me that she had been acitvely ignoring me. Even ignored my birthday (that was a month prior) because she was angry that I wasn't as much active in her stream as before.

And boy oh boy. That hurt. Look, I am already thinking of myself as the shittiest friend, and everyone secretly hates me. Even tho I am aware thats not the case. So to hear that you have been ignored on purpose, because someone is butthurt, is like GREAT for the self esteem (spoiler: its not) And there was zero remorse coming from her. Even putting the blame on me, when I asked why she didn't simply tell me how she's feeling. (because surprise!!!! I am not a mind reader!!!!) And then I just... couldn't take that anymore. This was not a friendship I wanted to be in. (there had been other things said before, but I always ignored it) So I ended that friendship there.

........................ and yeah well. Seeing my old art for her, reminded me of all that shit and idk I felt pretty shitty. I should actually simply delete that stuff. I don't know why i haven't yet.

I'm sorry I ranted so much

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I love you so much I hope we get reborn as housecats who sleep together like puzzle pieces

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animation 🌨️

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kissing you on the forehead

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besides my usual stuff, i tried to get as much schoolwork done during the christmas break

my armadillo conductor oc, who is also canonically living amongst humans, struggling to reach the button that changes traffic lights (are these buttons a thing everywhere now i wonder? i dont think every country has them)

some more art of em below

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my partner is only 40 but nestled within him is the soul of an elderly man

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A friend asked me to show him the last art I did of thief Lilli, and we started to look at my old drawings of her and well

There is definitely some improvement in my art 😅

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New ref for medieval!Lilli because I started hating the old one

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what she listening to

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this callout couldve been a block button

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umm i need reassurance that my presence is wanted but i can’t ask for reassurance because that’s really Embarrassing and it wouldn’t feel genuine if i asked for it