#Christine Baranski the icon that you are

[jayteu]

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[arachniasbride]

"I put that son of a bitch through med school." Maryann Thorpe: best moments | Cybill (S01E02)

[djkerr]

Christine Baranski was a Golden Goddess at this year's Emmy Awards show, perfectly in theme with her nomination as Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Drama Series for The Gilded Age.

Always the Queen 👑

[broadwaydivastournament]

Broadway Divas Tournament: Round 1B

Lea Salonga (1971) made history in 1991 as the youngest performer to ever win Best Leading Actress in a Musical for Miss Saigon. She was just twenty years old at the time, and now all these years later, she qualifies for our MILF tournament. Lea has starred in six Broadway shows including Les Miserables (as first Eponine and then later Fantine), Once On This Island (2017), and most recently a brief stint in Here Lies Love (2023). She is also the singing voice for Disney's Mulan.

Diva, icon, certified GILF Christine Baranski (1952) has a theatre resume a mile long. A two-time Tony winner, Christine has performed on and off-Broadway, regionally, and internationally in shows such as Mame at the Kennedy Center, the pre-Broadway workshop of Sunday in the Park with George, and the infamous flop that was Nick & Nora (1991). She can be seen alongside a slew of other Broadway Divas in HBO's The Gilded Age, and has also participated in at least ten Sondheim shows and concerts over the years.

PROPAGANDA AND MEDIA UNDER CUT:

"Lea Salonga was our only major Asian representation on Broadway for decades, and yeah okay, Miss Saigon was the single most racist, orientalist, offensive show I've ever seen on Broadway, but-- Actually, no, I have no "buts" for this. It's just a bad show, and Lea Salonga deserved a better star vehicle."

"If you didn't turn into a raging lesbian from the moment you watched Christine Baranski perform "Does Your Mother Know?" in Mamma Mia, then are you really queer? THE GILF, and still able to be a high kicking bitch when she wants to."

[droughtofapathy]

The Gilded Age's Broadway Divas: Agnes van Rhijn (Christine Baranski)

Christine Baranski plays the curmudgeonly head of the van Rhijn household who always has a sharp word for everything. A bastion of Old New York, Agnes detests change and challenges to tradition.

In contrast, Christine Baranski has had a long and illustrious career in the theatre, even before earning mainstream recognition in movie musicals such as Chicago (2002 - a delight), Mamma Mia (2008 - an icon), and Into the Woods (2014 - the highlight in a dismal movie). In the theatre, she has taken on seven of Sondheim's finest works to much better success, including the original pre-Broadway workshop of Sunday in the Park with George (Clarisse, later named Yvonne), regional productions of Sweeney Todd (Mrs. Lovett), and the exquisite Encores! production of Follies (Carlotta) alongside Donna Murphy, our Mrs. Astor at large.

Christine is a two-time Tony winner for Best Featured Actress in a Play for The Real Thing and Rumors. We all know her iconic Tanya Chesham-Leigh of the Mamma Mia cinematic universe, so you'll forgive me if I neglect those performances in this list.

#1: "A Little Priest," Sweeney Todd (1999)

With Sweeney Todd raking in over $1.7 million weekly, let's start with one of many Sweeney Todd productions that's just so much better than what they've got going on at the Lunt-Fontanne Theatre these days.

The act one closer is considered by many as Sondheim at his lyrical best. A comedic killer of a number, nailing the intricate lyrics would give even the strongest theatre veteran anxiety (I have seen many a delightful disaster and brutal butchery of this number), but Christine does so with aplomb.

This performance alongside Kelsey Grammar as Sweeney is from the 1999 Reprise! L.A. 20th anniversary concert production at the Ahmanson Theatre. Three years later, Christine would go on to reprise her role as Mrs. Lovett at The Kennedy Center opposite Broadway's leading man Brian Stokes Mitchell. Also featured in this production is another Gilded Age actress, but more on that later.

#2: "Everybody Wants to Do a Musical," Nick & Nora (1991)

Based on the book/film/tv Nick and Nora Charles, this musical is infamous for being one of the most notorious flops in Broadway history. It had a then-record breaking preview period of 71 shows, and closed after just nine performances, proving not even an all-star cast (including Joanna Gleason, Chris Sarandon, Debra Monk, and Faith Prince) and creative team can make a hit.

Here, Christine plays Tracy Gardner, a fading starlet whose comeback is threatened by an untimely murder. There's really not much that can be said about the plot, but if anyone wants me to recite an oral history of everything I know about this flop, DM me.

It's a miracle we even have a cast album to commemorate this...special show. A full bootleg can be found HERE on youtube, if you want to see this masterpiece for yourself. I can't imagine why you'd want to though.

#3: "A Fact Can Be a Beautiful Thing," Promises, Promises (1997)

Once again proving her comedic chops, here Christine plays a one-scene wonder barfly named Marge MacDougall in the 1997 Encores! production of Promises, Promises opposite Martin Short. The height difference really elevates the comedy. Her character shows up for one scene (and a half) and in every production, has stolen the show. You can see why. The number really has no plot value, but it's perfect in every way.

A note: Encores! for those unfamiliar, is a series of limited run concert-style productions put on by New York City Center. It was originally conceived 30 years ago to highlight hidden gems and forgotten pieces, but has included more mainstream shows in recent years (y'know, to keep the lights on).

Incidentally, Christine is not the only Gilded Age actress to take on this role to great success. The other actress has a...wildly different approach to the role. But more on that later...

#4: "I'm Still Here," Follies (2007)

I love Follies. I would commit atrocities you cannot fathom to have seen the 2007 Encores! production of Follies, starring fellow Gilded Ager Donna Murphy as Phyllis, Victoria Clark as Sally, and featuring Christine Baranski as Carlotta. Here, singing one of Sondheim's greatest hits, Christine plays an aged former Follies girl whose big number was cut, but is happy to serenade her audience with it now. My kingdom for a high quality bootleg of this show, please someone must have it.

Full disclosure: this is not my favorite rendition. That honor goes to Elaine Stritch in the Sondheim 80th Birthday Concert. But this one is damn good, now that I'm reviewing it. It showcases Christine's fantastic vocal and acting abilities, and that's Sondheim for you.

In 2015, Christine would go on to play Phyllis in the Royal Albert Hall production of Follies. And I love you, Christine, but you are a Carlotta through and through.

#5: "Welcome to the Theatre," Applause - Kennedy Center Honors (1997)

This past week, Christine Baranski honored opera diva Renee Fleming at the Kennedy Center Honors, but that was not only time. In 1997, she was one of three mega talents honoring the gorgeous, the glamorous, the golden girl from the Golden Age of Hollywood, Lauren Bacall.

She opened the tribute with a song from Bacall's Tony-winning Applause, a musical based on All About Eve. Side note: people have divisive opinions on Lauren Bacall's singing voice. I love it.

While Christine's isolated performance can be found, I elected to link to the full tribute so you can all enjoy this delight. Following Christine is my beloved Bebe Neuwirth, and the late Ann Reinking (singing songs unrelated to Lauren Bacall, but fuck it). The final trio of all three women is the stuff of my dreams. I need you to witness it too.

Bonus: "Hot for Howie"

Nothing I can say will add to this. I'll just let the song speak for itself.

LINK TO MASTERPOST

[nysocboy]

"Christmas on the Square": Be thankful you haven't seen this movie.

Brax Alexander is promoting his 2020 movie, Christmas on the Square.  Usually I stay away from Christmas romcoms that preach how wonderfully fulfilling small towns are, as opposed to those soulless, heartless monstrosities, big cities, because I grew up in a small town.  But Christmas on the Square was written by gay icon Dolly Parton, and stars gay icon Christine Baranski, plus Josh Segarra (left and below), who has played gay characters several time (he even played RuPaul's boyfriend). Furthermore, Dolly promotes the movie in an interview in Pink News, the gay magazine.  Surely this is a gay-positive Christmas romcom.  So here goes:

Scene 1:  A sound-stage town square in the town of Prairie View, with folks making merry.  Some very hot guys rush past, doing a high-step dance number -- but they ruin it by double-taking, en masse, at the hot girl who walks by.  At the end of their dance, they pair off, each boy with a girl.  Yuck!  This is the same brainwashing  I grew up with: "Every boy will fall in love with a girl!  There's no way out, no escape!  You are doomed!" 

A car drives past, with the evil, sunglasses-wearing Christine Baranski.  She sings: "Forget the past, be free at last, gotta get out of this town."  I like her -- she's the voice of thousands of LGBT people growing up in homophobic small towns, longing for a place where they can be free.  Of course, she's the villain. 

Amid the dancing, frolicking characters, the white-haired guy who runs the general store, no doubt Christine's Love Interest (played by Treat Williams, left) sings that "lovers walk in pairs." We only see male-female lovers.

 Focus character Felicity drives up and greets the stereotyped 1950s mailman.  She's the assistant of evil Christine Baranski, who continues to sing: "I know in time I'll lose my mind, if I don't get out of this town."  I had the same thought many times, back in Rock Island amid the "what girl do you like? what girl? what girl? what girl?" interrogation!

I'm getting angry.  They should have a trigger warning for all LGBT people who get trapped into viewing this thing.  I won't last much longer.

In his Christmas shop, Josh Serrano and his wife talk about new fertility procedures, then sing about how much they want a baby. Good lord, it never ends..  

I'll just go through it on fast fast-forward, to check for any same-sex bonds.

Nope.  I couldn't keep track of all the boy-girl couples finding love, but the only reason guys interacted was to console each other over not having the Girl of Their Dreams, or to congratulate each other for finding Her. Where's the darn trigger warning?  I'm literally nauseous.  Braxton Alexander's got a lot of explaining to do.  Come to think of it, he has never stated that he is gay-friendly.  I just assumed.

He's definitely going on the Naughty List.

The full review, with some nude dudes, including Treat Williams and Josh Serrano, is on RG Beefcake and Boyfriends

[church-of-lilith]

Ah, Christine Baranski! The sole reason why I didn't turn that movie off when I decided to watch it, what a queen! I kinda like the vibe of the movie, but there's something that just doesn't click for me :/

and dude that’s so valid of you! that movie isn’t for everyone, as most musical movies aren’t.

but if there’s one thing we can all agree on it’s that christine baranski is a legend, an icon, and the true queen to all the queer girlies everywhere

[rhaelynn]

I have thoughts™️ on the reviews for this movie!!

sometimes a family is a mother and a daughter and a gay dad and two straight dads and two vodka aunts

The golden standard fr >>>

the ‘lay all your love on me’ scene invented bisexual culture

*cue le scandalous gasp* are you saying that when Agnetha sang ‘I wasn’t jealous before we met / Now every woman I see is a potential threat’ she didn’t ENABLE the bisexual culture to be invented???

LITTLE BOYS WHO PLAY WITH FIRE (idiots who think this is a bad movie) GET THEIR FINGERS BURNT (by the cold hard fact that this is The Greatest Movie Ever)

I CONCUR THIS WITH EVERY FIBER OF MY BEING >>>> Christine Baranski you absolute icon 🤌🏻 teach me how to kick my legs that high when I’m in my fifties please

the dancing queen scene invented feminism!

BECAUSE NOTHING SCREAMS JOY LIKE WOMEN RUNNING AROUND THE ISLAND LIKE THEY OWN IT (and they actually do in this case?)

in case you can’t tell, this movie is the love of my life 😩💗🏝️🇬🇷☀️💍👰🏼‍♀️

Mamma Mia! (2008) + letterboxd reviews

[haleysmoviebracket]

Round 1, Match 3

Dolly Parton's Christmas on the Square (dir. Debbie Allen, 2020) VS Oculus (dir. Mike Flanagan, 2013)

Okay, so I wasn't exactly expecting a masterpiece out of Christmas on the Square, but I was at least expecting it to be watchable. Dolly's an icon, Christine Baranski's one of my Hollywood crushes, and I like a reasonable amount of holiday cheese. But this just wasn't for me.

Oculus is pretty underrated (love you, Mike Flanagan), and the way these two go about trying to prove that this mirror is evil and trying to kill them is kind of brilliant. I love it.

WINNER: Oculus

[drewsaturdays]

I don’t have anything important to say I just need everyone to appreciate this picture of Maryann 

[itsdelicate]

omg i remember u mentioning getting a new tat and wanted to ask what u wanted to get but completely forgot dkjfns. so what did you get?

yes it isss!! it took me forever to properly get into music like the only reason i ever started liking specific artists was quarantine lmao. that is so wow omg. so like fearless era? that mustve been fun tho!! honestly i would love to spend half my life a swiftie lol. i was i was!! like omg the bad blood mv is prob one of the biggest "omg girls?!!?!??!!?" moments of my life like that scene w her velcroing on the boxing glove w her teeth,,, the hair, the makeup, just everything. i still scream a little when i see that scene lmao. and also like ybwm, love story, ikywt, blank space (another mv i was obsessed w), etc etc. the popular ones!! and my vocal teacher actually introduced me to cruel summer (which i loved) and also her cover of riptide. like now thinking ab it,,, how did he even know omg??? SO TRUE like inject ivy into my veins its so *chefs kiss*. YES YES YES mad woman is so scream in the car or into a pillow while crying i love her sm. LMAO YES i remember seeing it and genuinely thinking. huh. a happy song cool! and then its just pain for 5 mins which i absolutely LOVE.

AWWW THEYRE SO SWEET I CANT JKMDWMV i would cry if any of them did that to me. so valid so true shes just so !!!??!??!??!?!?!?

yessssssss. rapunzel is such an icon <3 she so issss!!!! OMG I LOVE MAMMA MIA SM!!!!! abba is obvs everything and meryl streep???!?!?!!!! AND amanda seyfried AND julie walters AND christine baranski???!!?!!!? AND colin firth and pierce brosnan?!?!?!?! its such a classic and i could watch it forever jkdmsfvjnm. yes omg i immediately stop the second i feel a bit annoyed w it. okok i def will!!

it is it is njskodjn. haha yea ik a lot of ppl dont really like it lmao but the second i heard it was obsessed. RIGHT??? makes me cry everytime. im very much a sad songs lover <3

yea me too!! like to go to a mall and seeing the massive tree and all the decorations?? so pretty so fun i love it.

glad i could be of service lol ajnsmf <3 yes it did thanks!! my friends and i are planning on watching the black panther movie together so that hopefully!! have u watched it? and wbu do u have any plans? also i realise that i totally spam u in these replies iwdkfvs im so sorry i talk and ramble a lot lmao

xxx ur secret santa

very rude of tumblr not to tell me i got your ask 😒 anyway! it’s a little mermaid rat!! it has the prettiest colours in it’s tail and the design was to raise funds for the mermaids charity who support trans, non-binary and gender diverse kids and families <33333

oooh gotcha i totally get it a lot of my friends aren’t into music like at all but i’m so glad you found a love for taylor’s music hehe yess fearless era!! but you’re here now!! you can be an honorary since-fearless-era stan 😌 love that for you omg the scene you’re talking about it,,, Yes whew on this topic i didn’t know it then but the story of us mv was a gay awakening for me ahdjfj and yes the blank space mv was SO good!! (is it your fav music video?) i will never not be upset that cruel summer didn’t become a single IT WAS RIGHT THERE!!! omgggg stop her cover of riptide is my fav thing ever i listened to it obsessively for ages your vocal teacher knew what he was doing 😌 help i didn’t even process that it’s over 5 mins long it’s so 🥲

EXACTLY EXACTLY!!! i had like post concert (convention 🤔) depression for days after lmao

YESSS it’s such a classic and so feel good i love it so so much!! my cousin introduced me to all the abba songs when i was like 7 and she burned them onto a cd for me under the instructions that id stop singing mamma mia at all hours cause i was annoying her 💀 and then i proceeded to audition with mamma mia the song for my school’s talent show and all the teacher’s laughed cause i was literally 8 years old singing about how i’d been cheated on and i was brokenhearted 😭 shfkgk i have to do that when i overplay taylor’s songs sometimes like ok i have to listen to another album now or i’ll burn myself out smh

it had such a different sound! but i love it now and omg i always find myself avoiding really sad songs 🤧

yeah!! it’s such a lovely time and i adore going to christmas markets <3

omg nice! no i haven’t ahdjf i actually haven’t seen mcu movies 🫣 i never got into them and my friend’s a huge fan who keeps asking to me watch them but it feels like there’s too much to get into now from the beginning shdjf and no omg i love it!! spam away 😌

i hope you’re having a good week!! 🥰

[swiftzeldas]

watching psych is SO funny bc you never know who’s going to guest star. will it be beloved childhood heartthrob cary elwes, icon of stage and screen christine baranski, or jim beaver from supernatural

[mariacallous]

I wasn't following you when chris evans accidentally posted a dick pic, but I imagine that was a fun time on this blog, anyway what is your fave chris evans movie? Do you also like any of the other plethora of chris'?

The Chris Evans Accidental Insta Dick Pic Incident of 2020 is forever burned in my mind, along with this

I have so many questions and Thots about the incident.

Favorite Chris Evans movie is probably Gifted because Frank Adler is basically the ideal man. Before We Go and the first Captain America movie also rank up there, of course. 

Naturally I like Chris Pine, and there’s Chris Meloni and Chris Noth. Younger me was not immune to Chris O’Donnell in the Batman movies, certainly.

OMG CHRIS MESSINA. Julie and Julia I was distracted by the food and by the man, and I feel like he’s not as featured as he should be.

Christine Baranski and Christina Hendricks, naturally, are icons and #goals.

[silverinia]

I came for Baranski, I stayed for Baranski - a quick Christmas On The Square review someone* actually asked for

(* thank you, anon)

Disclaimer: I am in no way a professional of any sorts when it comes to film and I'm not a journalist either. The last movie review I've written was probably for a school assignment in eighth grade. I didn't do research for this and I've watched the movie exactly one time, so this is just for fun.

It was a Sunday, Sunday the 22nd of November, nearing the end of the train wreck of a year that is 2020. I woke up on an air mattress around seven am, my head aching, my throat itching with pyrosis and light nausea, it was still dark outside behind the closed blinds in front of the windows, when I slowly realised where I was, one of my best girlfriends sleeping next to me in her bed. I had crashed at her place after a warm, fuzzy evening of mulled wine, tacky Christmas movies I would never watch alone (Christmas Chronicles and Holiday Calendar, which I quite honestly didn't enjoy at all, but the company made it fun anyway), doing our nails, wearing the fun kind of face masks for a change and smoking too many cigarettes, as the soft pain in my head informed me right now. She woke up an hour later and the morning went by with coffee and reheated pizza for breakfast, when we decided to watch another movie and I realised that it was THE Sunday I'd been waiting for through Zoom interviews and Dolly Parton twitter memes and the infamous wig gate that will be briefly discussed in the following, and so we clicked on the small icon in the Netflix menu that said "Christmas On The Square".

And oh boy, was it a ride.

To start off, I should mention that I have a hard time watching most modern day American Christmas movies, as I noticed quite vividly again when I watched the two aforementioned Netflix productions last night. The character development is always foreseeable to say the least, the plot lines are plain clichés hunting each other like they're the kids in The Hunger Games, and the writing is generally so bad that you can join the actors in reciting the entire scripts on your first watch. I watch How the Grinch Stole Christmas once a year while I'm gift wrapping and pause every fifteen minutes to shamelessly stare at forties Christine Baranski (I think we should all turn away from the birth of Jesus and instead count our years based on Christine Baranski's date of birth) in flamboyant nightgowns and short Christmas themed dresses, looking so fabulous that every interpreter of Santa Baby ever could only dream of it, I watch Love Actually at least five times a year to lust over Hugh Grant, cry with Emma Thompson and miss Alan Rickman, I enjoy Bridget Jones, which I would definitely consider a Christmas movie, and that's it. That's my yearly Christmas time entertainment routine and I can barely tolerate anything beyond, because I'm still traumatised from the time when I was around five years old and on a holiday family visit where had to sit through National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, the dumbest movie I have ever seen (my apologies if you like it but also, who hurt you?), with my cousins. I hated it. I hated every minute of it. And it scarred me for life.

But this was a Christine Baranski movie, I knew she was going to play the lead and so I was pretty much as excited about this as I could. And the fact that Dolly Parton wrote the whole thing didn't hurt either. As I said earlier to my friend I was watching it with, I have the pop cultural taste of a fifty year old gay man, a quality I am most proud of, and this simply ticked off all my boxes.

I expected something similar to a Mamma Mia experience that wouldn't cause me to crave packing my bags, give Covid the finger and run off to Greece. Light-hearted entertainment, easy to stomach, uplifting music and so little plot that the simplicity feels like a creative choice. That's what my pained, hungover brain knew it could cope with and that's not what I got.

The movie started and I was immediately in the zone. I saw Christine Baranski's name in the front credits (an experience that never fails to make me scream "Yass Queen" at the screen, regardless of where I am and who I'm with, as if I'm the sobering result that pops out of the package when you order Jonathan Van Ness on Wish), the setting was wonderfully corny (I grew up watching Gilmore Girls once a week, so give me warm fairy lights and a gazebo and I'm perfectly happy) and as my friend wondered whether Dolly Parton, in her exaggerated homeless attire that didn't make her look shabby at all, was green-screened into the setting because she stood out so much (which she was because the background dancers were dancing in slow motion, but to be fair, we were probably still a little too drunk to notice that from the start) and I told her I thought that it was just the natural glow someone who's Dolly Parton simply carries with them everywhere they go, I was happy. This was the movie I was prepared for. A movie in which the most problematic thing would be stereotypical characters and the wig they hid Christine's real, flawlessly handmade by God herself hair under.

And then, around five minutes in, Christine Baranski's childhood love interest was revealed as she pressed her perfect pointy nose against the window of his shop and sang about her unrequited love.

And suddenly, things started taking turns at a pace I was still way too sleep-deprived for.

Suddenly, in the middle of my general amazement at seeing Christine Baranski do literally anything and laughing loud at her impeccable comedic delivery, there were unresolved daddy issues, hanging prominently at the wall in her marvellously designed house (she literally says "Daddy" at one point and I couldn't help but think that only someone with her vocal skills could keep from making it sound cringe-worthily kinky). One moment, I was clutching my chest above my heart while she was bonding with little bartender Violet and munching on pretzels while downing some whiskey in that elegant way only Christine Baranski can bond with ten year olds who had it rough, eat pretzels and down whiskey, and the next she felt responsible for said girl's mother's death (which she kinda was too, but I'm not the boss of her). I was still busy making fun of how the very annoyingly, but when you're snacking on pizza with extra cheese at nine in the morning also highly funny, slow talking pastor's name was Christian, and suddenly there was a cancer scare.

It was a lot, a hasty sprint from major issue to major issue with a hint of comedic relief every now and then, and it didn't get any less until the very, rather poorly resolved, end.

The entire, constant up and down was followed by the movie's peak of suspense, the near death of precious Violet, something I couldn't even get too invested in because I was still so busy worrying about Christine's MRT results (I was truly fucking worried), not to mention that I hadn't even started to really process the sudden revelation of the love child and how it had affected her character's actions until this point. Was her constant tendency of pushing people away, as we've seen most clearly with her angel in training assistant who's name I cannot recall right now, the result of her broken trust in her father who practically ripped her son away from her after she had just given birth to him? Was it a result of her never getting the closure she needed with plaid flannel wearing Carl she was clearly still in love with? Maybe both? And what of the many issues was it that made her so incredibly shaken up when Violet blamed herself for her mother's death? Was it 'just' due to the fact that the closed pharmacy was on her, or was there more to it? Was it because she had grown up without a mother herself? Or did I miss a major piece of information because I was momentarily distracted, dumbfoundedly staring at Christine's very blue eyes? No time to ponder on that, little Silverinia, because here comes unconscious Violet in an ambulance, WEE WOO WEE WOO WEE WOO!

I'm not going to go in depth about what plot lines I thought were especially carelessly handled and why, real standouts were the sudden forgiveness towards her father who had still acted like a shitty asshole even though he might have had his reasons, because giving the baby up for adoption just wasn't his choice to make, and the fact that I kind of didn't buy how quickly Regina managed to forgive herself, especially for Violet's mother's passing, considering how deeply her tall, slim, dare I say angelic and entrancing figure was buried beneath the weight of all her issues. It felt rushed and incomplete, but that's as detailed as it gets because my major point is something else.

I think this movie made the great mistake of trying to be more than your average, flat, happy ending Christmas movie. I think no one involved thought it was possible to make it a big hit if the only real plot would've been great Dolly Parton music, fun ensemble dance choreographies, Christine Baranski's outstanding acting skills, fun settings and costumes and a redemption arch with as little plot as it could possibly take to make Christine likable to those who aren't already lost forever in the rabbit hole of being obsessed with her (poor fuckers, can't relate). They didn't notice that with the legends that were involved, they could've easily gone the Mamma Mia way. And I think that's why they tried to include heavier plot lines than most creators would've chosen, experiencing loss at an early age, struggling to find closure, dealing with sickness, teenage pregnancy, parents forcing their choices on their children when they affect their childrens' lives first, adoption, and the fear of losing your kid.

It was a lot and I don't want to say that it didn't work because my friend was crying, like, pretty hard and I questioned my entire existence all through the movie in not the worst way, and I did enjoy it a lot while watching. The "grief is love with nowhere to go" line was a real standout, for example, where the attempt of complexity DID work. It positively gave me fleabag season two, "I don't know what to do with it now, with all the love I have for her." - "I'll take it. It sounds lovely. You have to give it to me." feels, and that's about the biggest praise I can come up with. BUT (and this is written in capital letters because it's the big but) I'm also totally convinced that I wouldn't have enjoyed it if they hadn't cast Christine Baranski for the lead role. In my humble opinion, the hasty, not really at all resolved plot of this movie only worked because Christine Baranski is just a fantastic actress. She quirks a mocking eyebrow and you laugh. She parts her perfectly painted red lips and you immediately hang on them because you don't want to miss a single breath she, a literal goddess, graces us mere peasants of people with. She smiles and you're happy. She laughs and even while she's still laughing, you can't wait to hear her do it again. Her eyes fill with tears and you feel goosebumps on your arms, her voice slightly trembles, a breath hitches in her throat and you feel your heart shattering to pieces. As Chuck Lorre once said, this woman could read you the phone book and you would end up laughing tears because she just gets the job done. She knows what she's doing, she's an absolute pro in her game, and it doesn't matter, not even a little bit, what she's working with, because the work she eventually delivers with it is always at a minimum of 200%. I forced my friend to watch this movie with me because I adore this woman, and I felt for this movie because I felt for her. It wasn't the plot that sadly brutally overestimated itself, it wasn't the songs that I obviously enjoyed, nor the comedic elements that truly made me laugh a lot, it was all her. I came for Baranski, and I stayed for Baranski. This woman can do anything. She can even look graceful in a terrible wig job.

(side note / unpopular opinion: I actually didn't think the wig was all too bad. It wasn't good, actually far from good, but for me, nothing can match the awful wig game of Mamma Mia 2. I loathed that wig, I absolutely cannot stand it. So this didn't feel all that terrible. It definitely wasn't the most problematic part about the movie.)

I enjoyed watching this. It was a nice distraction from all the bullshit in the world. Watching it today was the first thing this year that actually brought me something close to excitement about the holiday season, even though everything will be very different and probably not quite as jolly this year. But it just gave me good vibes and as someone who did not watch this as a film reviewer, that's the biggest part of what leads me to enjoy a movie.

Will I watch this again? For sure. Will I enjoy it when I'm not hungover, having freshly done nails and munching delicious pizza for breakfast? Probably not as much, but it'll still have Christine Baranski in it. Would I recommend watching this? If you share my obsession with Queen B, one hundo. If you don't, probably not.

[broadwaydivastournament]

Broadway Divas Tournament: Semifinals

Six-time Tony winner Audra McDonald (1970) holds the record for most Tony acting awards a person has ever won. She is one of five actors to be nominated across all four respective acting categories and the only person to win every one (and the only actress out of the three who is still living...). Her stage work includes: Ragtime (1998), Porgy and Bess (2012), and Lady Day at Emmerson's Bar and Grill (2014). Internationally acclaimed concert tours, Tony host, crown jewel of the American Stage. Grammy winner, Tony winner, Emmy winner. Get this woman an Oscar, stat. This is a BROADWAY Diva tournament, and it doesn't get much more BROADWAY than this.

Legend, icon, certified GILF Christine Baranski (1952) has a theatre resume a mile long. A two-time Tony winner, Christine has performed on and off-Broadway, regionally, and internationally in shows such as Mame at the Kennedy Center, the pre-Broadway workshop of Sunday in the Park with George, and the infamous flop that was Nick & Nora (1991). She can be seen alongside a slew of other Broadway Divas in HBO's The Gilded Age, and has also participated in at least ten Sondheim shows and concerts over the years. This is a Broadway DIVA tournament, and it doesn't get much more DIVA than this.

NEW PROPAGANDA AND MEDIA UNDER CUT: ALL POLLS HERE

"Okay, so. I've seen Audra McDonald in concert three times, and each time has been a soul-ascending experience. She is *THE* Diva of Broadway in every single definition of the word. Most Tonys, tied for most nominations, critically acclaimed. I'm listening to "I Could Have Danced All Night" as I type this out, and the high note she just hit at the climax almost knocked me out of my seat. If you do not vote for Audra McDonald in this BROADWAY DIVA TOURNAMENT, what are you even doing here?"

"Did you know that Christine Baranski has a lakehouse in Connecticut, and she invites all her famous friends to go swimming "with or without" swimsuits? Cherry Jones is particularly fond of staying out on the lake all night long. If that's not icon diva behavior, what is? Christine may be a big screen star with some Emmys and whatnot, but she started on the stage, and she remembers her roots fondly. I long for the day when she comes back, if only for a special one-night-only extravaganza."

[droughtofapathy]

rank every production of: company and follies, then rank every performance of

- not getting married today

- ladies who lunch

- being alive

- losing my mind

- could i leave you

- (anything else.)

What do you *mean* every performance? There's unhinged and there's batshit unstable because fuck's sake, how is this even possible? I'm putting it all under a cut. We're going to be here a while.

Okay, so given that I've only ever seen the recent Broadway revival of Company live, and otherwise only have a passing familiarity with the original and the two other subsequent revivals, I'll say that the real answer is Elaine Stritch best Joanne, Katie Finneran best Amy, Jennifer Simard best Sarah, and objectively Raul Esparza best Bobby. And that's all I have to say about that.

Follies: 1. Encores! 2007 for that sublime trio of Donna Murphy as Phyllis, Vicki Clark as Sally, and Christine Baranski as Carlotta. However, points off for not being a full maximalist design (y'know, being an Encores! and all). 2. Original 1971. Yes, there have been more talented performers, yes there have been better sets, yes it was kind of a nightmare to put together. But I've read Everything was Possible and I am deeply besotted by what was. 3. NT 2017. For the design and some of the background direction, full honors. That set is everything I have ever wanted from a Follies set. Gorgeous costumes. Love the execution of the ghosts. The actual performers...? Well...let's just say I can count on one hand how many West End performers I actually respect. 4. 2011 Broadway revival. Jan Maxwell, my beloved. The design may not have been as grand as it should have been, the casting of Bernadette might have been a little underwhelming, the drama backstage might have been harrowing, but Jan Maxwell may well be the best Phyllis we've ever had in a full production. 5. 1998 Papermill Play House. There were rumors of this transferring to Broadway but that got axed, alas. Instead, we got the 2001 production (starring neither rumored Donna Murphy nor Jean Smart, so what was the point?). But Dee Hoty is one of the great Phyllis performers. She did "Ah, But Underneath" instead of "The Story of Lucy and Jessie" and you know, I'm not mad about it. Honorable Mention: the Follies concert this past June at Carnegie Hall. It's been enough time that I can make up a laundry list of what I didn't like. But what I did like made for a magical night.

As for ranking the songs, you're getting my top three-to-five and you'll be happy about it:

"Getting Married Today" 1. Madeline Kahn Hands down, no question, zero contest, everyone else pack it up. This is it. The pinnacle of the song. She is everything and her "I'm not well" runs on constant loop in my head. 2. Katie Finneran Truly an ideal role for her, and this rendition is as nerve-wracking as it should be. Extra points for being post-partum and leaking breastmilk into that white dress. 3. Veanne Cox I've seen her do this live, and it's an impressive feat. She's got the neurotic panic down to a science. 4. Julie Andrews Do I think it's anywhere near the best rendition ever? No. But am I endlessly entertained? Absolutely. Julie Andrews, my beloved. 5. Marin Mazzie (technically) You never said it had to be the Amy part of the song. Marin Mazzie as the soprano Wedding Singer deserves a spot on this list, and while the video I'm thinking of seems to have vanished into the aether, there are a few clips of her doing it at different concerts, and I think of them fondly.

"The Ladies Who Lunch" 1. Patti LuPone But not the one she did for the recent Broadway revival. It was fine and all, but not her best. I do like the 2011 concert version, but I'm going with the Ladies in Red version specifically here. 2. Elaine Stritch The original. The blueprint. The ideal. 3. Christine Baranski, Meryl Streep, Audra McDonald It's iconic and feral and I don't think anyone's going to argue. 4. Debra Monk and/or Barbra Walsh I don't listen to them often, but solid takes either way.

"Being Alive" 1. Marquee Five I've said it before, and I'll say it again, but this song was only ever just kind of there for me until I heard an alto woman sing it. Now I get it. Obscure choice, yes, but argue with the wall. 2. Raul Esparza Okay, so I did hear him do this live during an unexpected appearance at a 24 Hour Plays event, and okay yeah, I get it. I understand the hype. It was incredible. Other than that, I don't really listen to others aside from Marquee Five.

"Losing My Mind" 1. Marin Mazzie This is everything to me. The gown, the silhouette, the sheer size of her mouth. And the little gasp at the end? I am in a puddle on the floor. 2. Kate Baldwin The pause at the climax of the song is one of the singular most transcendent moments of live theatre I have ever experienced. Total silence as nearly three-thousand people witnessed utter perfection. I am haunted by this performance. 3. Victoria Clark The best Sally, and I'll die on that hill. She gets it. And her costume, hair, and makeup for the 2007 Encores! concert has me so in love. Almost enough to make me overlook how delusional she is and propose marriage. 4. Liza Minnelli Yes, in case you didn't know, there's a Liza Minnelli disco version of this song, and I just... I... yeah, you're going to have to see for yourself.

"Could I Leave You?" 1. Donna Murphy Shocker. Who would have guessed that DroughtofApathy would put Donna Murphy's definitive rendition of this song at the top slot? She goes somewhere during this number, and I haven't seen a performance come close to touching what she does yet. 2. Jan Maxwell My beloved.

But let's be honest here. I'm not listening to any other version aside from Donna's. So here's just a few I think are very good, but given the choice, I'd never voluntarily listen to any of them if Donna is also an option: Julie Andrews, Dee Hoty, Emily Skinner, Alexis Smith, Janie Dee, Lucia Spina, Bonnie Milligan. Basically any woman. (Though I'll be honest, I didn't really care for Beth Leavel's during the Follies concert.) No man ever. Every time a man does this number at a cabaret, just know that beneath my mask, I am hissing and spitting in disgust.

And that's all she wrote.