#Chitchat | Replies

[imababblekat]

Raph:

Venom: pussy.

Raph: >:O

Jksgvekciahalasszi-

This is even funnier if you consider the fact that Venom said this to Eddie when he took the elevator instead of jumping out the window because he has a fear of heights. Well who else do we know has a fear of heights to a certain degree?!

[sporeclan]

i know for sure if Dawnpelt was a tom everyone would want her dead and no one would bat an eye, but bc she is a lil messy girl it's 'mean spirited' and 'too intense'? okay lmao 👍

HUH??

[aidanchaser]

hello chase!!!! i wanted to insert my own question so ❓what is your thought process when you edit your own works and what are some rules of thumb you use when editing?

oh noooooo you had to ask a hard one ahah. Thank you very much; I'll do my best to do it justice

I have common mistakes I look for, like I'm constantly using seemed/thought/appeared when simply stating what is happening is far more effective. But, ultimately, when editing my own work, my primary question is, "Does this [sentence/word/paragraph/scene] communicate what want my reader to feel/understand a)effectively b)efficiently c)creatively?"

Everything I change as I read and reread and reread my writing revolves around that question.

A really great example is the editing I just did on the 1920s AU! I'll do a side-by-side comparison for anyone who's interested under the cut

Here's the link to the first draft of the 1920s AU smoke-break scene. It was edited for grammar, but the first pass is never the best pass, and I revised the scene more intimately the next day.

The beginning of any scene needs to set a specific tone and communicate key details of the setting to the reader. This paragraph wasn't very effective at that.

It wasn’t snowing, though it certainly felt cold enough to. Marinette pulled her collar closed against her throat and cheeks, keeping herself as snug as she could. She had some privacy in the dark alley that guarded the back entrance of the Lucky Lady, but the click of her lighter must have attracted attention from the street. She saw the white suit jacket and vest that was becoming painfully familiar approach.

So I revised it with just a few concrete details just to add dimension to the space, so that I could more effectively introduce the setting.

It wasn’t snowing, though it certainly felt cold enough to start. Marinette pulled her collar closed against her throat and cheeks, keeping herself as snug as she could. She had a fairly narrow view of the street, illuminated by a nearby lamp, but the corner of the theater that backed the Lucky Lady cut through that light, giving her a space of quiet darkness to enjoy a reprieve during the chaos of an evening shift. There were not many out on a cold night like this, but a painfully familiar voice cut through the crisp air.

I also shifted from the visual of the white coat to the sound of Adrien's voice because I wanted to draw out the scene a little bit more! This dialogue from the original, while snappy and efficient, didn't give the feeling I wanted it to.

“What happened to your coat?” she asked. “I gave it to a gentleman who looked like he needed it more than I did.” The tip of his cigarette glowed orange, and he returned her lighter to her. His eyes looked warm in this dim light. She tucked her lighter back into her coat. “And what happened to your date?” “I called her a cab. I was hoping to chat with you before returning home.”

The beginning of this fic spends a lot of time dwelling on how suspicious Marinette is of Adrien's motives. This scene offers her a glimpse of his kindness for the first time, forcing her to reexamine her assumptions. The dialogue wasn't very effective or emotionally charged, so the quippy dialogue instead became:

It was indeed Adrien Agreste, chatting with a young man in a threadbare coat that looked like it might have once been a blue officer’s uniform, but had weathered enough snow and shrapnel to be little more than scraps. The right sleeve was pinned up to the shoulder. Adrien shrugged out of his coat and handed it to the young man. “There’s some spare bills in the pocket. Get yourself something hot to eat and a room.” He sounded like the boy who had abandoned her, not the man who had returned. His voice was gentle, uncertain. There was none of the swagger she’d seen in the young man in her shop that morning, nor the cold grin he’d sported when he’d entered the Lucky Lady.

Even though it's less efficient, it is much more effective. It allows me to linger in Marinette's loneliness a little bit longer before Adrien approaches her, and it lets me flesh out the post-war Paris setting with a bit more atmosphere.

I also spent some time revising the angelic metaphor paragraph. It was really important to me to include saint-reminiscent iconography around Adrien during this scene. I want my readers well-aware that even though Marinette is suspicious of Adrien, he's still the Adrien we know and love, and they can trust that I am going to explain his suspicious actions.

“I heard a rumor that if a gentleman is down on his luck, you’re the lady to see.” “I’ve been known to reverse fortunes,” she murmured. “From toppling those on thrones to lifting up those in the gutter. You don’t strike me as a man in a gutter.” He turned his head to blow a lungful of smoke away from her. The street lamp glinted off of his hair, creating a golden halo. “One man’s heaven,” he shrugged, and let the rest of phrase disappear behind a rueful smile. 

The above metaphor works, and I didn't change it a whole lot, but there are a few key shifts in the revision below:

“I heard a rumor that if a gentleman is down on his luck, you’re the lady to see.” And Adrien, like she had just moments ago, took in a long draw on his cigarette and held it in his chest.  “I’ve been known to reverse fortunes,” she murmured. “From toppling those on thrones to lifting up those in the gutter. You don’t strike me as a man in a gutter.” He shrugged and turned his head to blow the smoke away from her. The street lamp glinted off of his hat and his bangs, creating a golden halo. “One man’s heaven.” He let the rest of phrase disappear behind a rueful smile.

The added inhale on the cigarette, harkening back to an earlier moment Marinette had where she holds onto the heat of it to try to forget her heartbreak, implies that Adrien is hurting just as much. It tells the reader he's still pining for Ladybug, too.

Moving the shrug from the end to the beginning stretches out that longing and it gives the dialogue more room to breathe. It's a tiny change from "'heaven,' he shrugged" to "'heaven.' He let the rest" but it does make a difference in the tone. It's not a blow-off response. It's pointed. It emphasizes his hurt more neatly, and even if Marinette can't recognize it, the reader hopefully can, even if unconsciously.

Also I forgot when I wrote the halo description that Adrien would of course be wearing a hat; it's 1920-ish.

So there you have it! A couple of changes made for creativity and efficiency, hopefully making the scene just a little more effective!

[uhzuku]

anyways i’m gonna finally do the arlecchino story quest so i can level her then maybe even dip my toes into shou-nya as a lil treat <33

[melvinthedepressedrobot]

I really do hate when people DM you acting all buddy-buddy and try and string you through a bunch of empty niceties before dropping that they're actually just trying to sell you a commission like

that just seems like a shitty way to try and advertise, you're going to end up with way more figurative doors slammed in your face than not, right??? it's irritating at best, manipulative and suspicious at worst

[pileofsith]

Sorry to be making text posts every single day, I'm being unusually chatty here. I'm super busy with work and I think my social levels are slowly approaching 'deserted island dweller'.

There might be a comic page update in a few hours, it's a doozy to colour in 12 figures, though.

Additionally, I tend to draw things on a smaller scale, but I made a mistake here and drew them waaaay tiny on paper. There's a panel of six figures who are all together about as big as two of my fingers.

I like to do a different main colour for different scenes, I'm happy that I managed to finally fit in purple. :3

[sunjaywoning]

hellooooo:)) how are youuu?🤍

hi!!! im doing well :)

i’ve recovered, and i justtt went to taylor swift’s concert, so i was pretty inactive 😭 sorry

but i’m dropping something really really soon!! fr this time

thanks for checking up on me 💕💕 i hope you’re doing good as well~~

[grimmweepers]

almost 4am and i’m doom scrolling bc i got rudely awakened

[electric-charm]

She / Her || Adult || Galarian

Don't really know why I'm making an intro- Just here to look at cute pics. Maybe I'm doing it for the thrill lmfao

Main hobbies are writing + baking. Favourite Pokémon are Yamper, Sinistea, and Bewear. Currently studying Galarian History and Dynamaxing.

If you gotta call me something, go with Maggie. If you know me irl no you don't <3

//woah! It's a "mystery" character??? Hahaha...anyway. This blog is primarily running on in-game canon, with some aspects from the manga! I also apologize if she sounds ooc- I am trying my best o7

unless otherwise stated or cleared beforehand, everything except Mystery Gift is off. No NSFW. Any blog with any canon can interact!

Blog will touch on topics such as depression, self-worth issues, and things in a similar vein. Please let me know if anything needs to be tagged.

mod can be found at @skrelps-cafe.

IC Tag List:

#replies : Asks!

#chitchat : Interaction Tag

OOC Tag List:

#darkest daze : Posts related to the story in some shape or form. Will become...increasingly relevant.

#wild charge : posts that aren't necessarily related to the story, but are important! They have! Info and stuff. Yeah :)

[imababblekat]

I love any version of the tmnt turtles with a spiderman character, but can you imagine if you threw in a symbiote (venom, carnage, etc.) into the mix and the boys helping them get their now very toothy suit off without hurting their friend ?

Honestly all I can think about with this is the absolute stupidity and comical chaos that would ensue, most especially if this is in the case of Tom Hardy’s Venom.

[sporeclan]

Don’t you hate it when a terrible fungus spreads and severes your connection to your dead ancestors?

ugh i know right. every other tuesday i tell ya

[totheecore]

FMDBDJDBDJD so apparently being 57 won't stop my grandma from asking you so are you finally going to find a wife 😭😭😭

[axewchao]

Would you like a heart container, or a stamina vessel?

I'll take the stamina vessel, please.

All the hearts in the world don't matter as much as being able to friggin' RUN FOR DEAR LIFE—

[vampirevatican]

to the ppl that like josh hutcherson's mike schmidt... you like sad boys don't you?

[moonrpg]

their names are now shit and piss

[sylksheeeee-a]

what if I wrote replies not on paper like a normal person.