#Chile.. I felt that shit in my soul.

[cyarskj1899]

That. Very. Last. Sentence. This Black Queen needs to be writing speeches from her office in the West Wing. 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻🖤🖤🖤

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤ FUCK YASS. ✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿✊🏿

And that last line… that last motherfqucking line

...and they’re lucky that what black people are looking for is equality and not revenge...”

OUUUUUU!!!

[mysterious-moonstruck-musings]

Buried Secrets Masterlist || Main Masterlist

Hello my lovelies!

As I’ve recently mentioned, I’ve started planning and researching for my next fic adventure, Buried Secrets. Not to worry, I do still plan to finish up with our dear dancing Dieter before I officially begin to post this one. However, I am currently working on the characterization for Frankie and Mya in addition to developing the plot outline so that I have some time to stew on it.

Something fun that I did for Closed Position was a ‘Meet the Characters’ post. It really helped me get to know the characters a little better while also introducing them to you all before we dug into the story. So, without further ado, let’s get to know Frankie and Mya a little bit!

About Frankie Morales in Buried Secrets

Frankie wasn’t in the best place after he and the guys came back from South America. He felt a lot of guilt over what happened to that fucking asshole Tom and the men who were killed in the small village where he crash-landed the chopper. He still has it in his head that he took the first shot that was the beginning of Tom’s demise. Because of that, he had a little slip up and relapsed. It only happened once, but it was enough for his lady to leave him. Especially since she was already angry about him going to South America.

After losing his family, he realized he needed to get his shit together and figure his life out before he spiraled any further. He worked to get his pilot’s license back and also had the brilliant idea to start a private security business. He managed to convince Santi, Will, and Benny to join him in the new business venture.

Thus far, the business has been lucrative, allowing them to expand and take on able veterans who needed employment. They have created a pretty sizable team as a result. Benny and Will typically handle the day-to-day people part of the job while Santi is in charge of logistics. Frankie is the boss and gets final say on everything. If his gut tells him it’s a bad idea, he no longer hesitates to shut things down. He’s not willing to take unnecessary risks.

In order to keep himself busy (and away from drugs) Frankie helps Benny with his MMA fight training. He spends lots of time in the ring sparing and working out with Benny to keep his friend focused and in shape.

When Frankie isn’t training with Benny, he’s working on an old muscle car that he recently purchased. It needs a ton of work, but he’s got the time and needs the distraction. When he’s not working on his car, he’s with the guys at the local bar. He often plays darts to unwind and usually tries to keep his drinking to a minimum, if he even drinks anything at all. It’s on these nights when the guys reminisce and talk about Tom. He was an asshole, but he was still their captain and brother in arms after all.

Frankie has also begun to spend a lot of his time at the local gun range. He’s found that something about it helps calm and center him. It allows him to clear his mind and focus on hitting the target rather than his painful memories. In a strange way, it gives him a small piece of military life that he’s missing as a civilian.

Frankie often thinks about the money that they left in the mountains of Chile. He knows that the money could change all their lives in ways he can’t even fathom. He lays in bed at night going through every possible scenario for getting it back, but everything he comes up with feels too risky. He’s too afraid of losing another one of his teammates. So, he lets it fester. It’s a splinter which is slowly infecting his soul. It makes him angry that they lost so much for nothing. It dictates every decision, often forcing him to take the safest route on all things out of fear and makes him second guess his choices. It's a touchy topic for him that he immediately shuts down each time Santi brings it up.

Even though Frankie is now free to be with others, he actively avoids it. He is lonely but doesn't feel he is in a place to pursue anything serious...or casual for that matter. He is completely taken off guard the day Mya Carnahan waltzes into his place of business asking to speak directly to him regarding the specialized security services he offers. She makes him question everything about himself and what he knows about women.

About Mya Carnahan in Buried Secrets

Mya is going to be a little different than all my other OFCs. While they are all badasses in their own way, Mya will definitely take the cake. However, she does have somewhat of a shady past.

Mya's first choice of profession was in law enforcement. During this time, she joined the forces' SWAT team, allowing her to learn many special skills. She eventually gets caught up in a whirlwind romance with one of her arrestees, Damien, who turns out to be a rather charismatic individual that is involved in selling black market antiquities.

As Damien lures Mya deeper into his world, her love for history grows. She takes advantage of the large sums of money she begins to rake in as a black market dealer and puts herself through college in pursuit of a more reputable profession in archeology. She wants to be the person to find the artifacts, and maybe collect some things to sell on the side too.

As Mya delves into the myths and legends of ancient civilizations, she learns about the lost city of Paititi. She becomes almost obsessive over it, convinced she knows where to find it. It becomes her ultimate end goal, she only needs someone to fund a proper expedition to test her theories.

It's because of her relationship with Damien that she gets tangled in a mess that she can't find her way out of. In a transaction gone wrong with a prominent crime lord named Miguel Collazo, Damien runs off with the money and the artifact that Collazo wanted to purchase, leaving Mya to deal with the fallout. She makes a deal with Collazo, agreeing to lead an expedition to find the lost city with promises of finding a treasure like no other. Collazo agrees to be her benefactor for the expedition, with the guarantee of consequences if she doesn't deliver.

Through all of her past experiences, Mya learns how to become somewhat of a chameleon. She can present as a proper and sophisticated antiquities dealer, or she can suit up and handle business. She has a knack for blending in and manipulating situations in her favor to either get what she wants or save herself. In some cases, it’s both.

Mya has been trained to handle a wide variety of weapons and in mixed martial arts. Her favorite hobbies include knife throwing, rock climbing, and riding her motorcycle. She also loves research and solving puzzles. She is intelligent and very good at all aspects of her job, however, she can be extremely stubborn and fiercely independent to a fault.

As you can imagine, Frankie is not prepared when this woman walks into his life. Mya has his head spinning from the beginning and frustrates the hell out of him. Especially when she defies him, insisting he is there to protect her team and not her (because she can take care of herself). These two are so much alike, which creates an interesting dynamic and causes them to bump heads, A LOT. However, they can't help but to be attracted to each other. As we progress through this little adventure their relationship evolves, and they do eventually fall for each other. They will do whatever necessary to keep the other safe as both of their pasts collide, causing all hell to break loose.

I'm really excited to dig into this one and do something a little different. Are you excited yet? How are you feeling about these characters and the plot so far? Do you have any predictions or conspiracy theories (you know I love it when you all come at me with those).

In case you missed any of the teasers/asks that had other little tidbits of info, feel free to check those out HERE. I’ve also started my typical nonsense with collecting vibe posts for this fic (I know how much some of you love those). You can find them HERE.

Until next time, 💜Mysty

🔎P.S. There is a fun easter egg from one of my favorite adventure movies in this post. If anyone can guess it...I will give you another little teaser. 😏

👉 Tagging anyone who interacted with the masterlist and/or teaser post(s). Feel free to shoot me a DM if you would prefer to not be tagged for this fic going forward.

@2birdsofafeather @72scsuze @76bookworm76 @a-beautiful-but-sassy-world @almostfoxglove

@angelofsmalldeath-codeine @annalovesflorida @anniet852 @ashleyfilm @ashlovesdrpepper

@auteurdelabre @avastrasposts @biggetywitch @bitchwitch1981 @bluestar22x

@bunniboo0015 @burntheedges @captainredspade @chaoticfestninja @cheekychaos28

@christinamadsen @copperhalfcent @darkheartgatita @diabaroxa @din-cognito

@elisabethloves @fifitheragertot @for-a-longlongtime @girlofchaos @guelyury

@harriedandharassed @hisandsnakes @imdrinkingpedro @jackie923 @janeie87

@jeewrites @jensensational71 @jessthebaker @jessthebaker @joels-darlin

@kate-skates @katw474 @kels976 @lady-bess @gwendibleywrites

@ladyofmidlo72 @lizzie-cakes @madnessofadaydreamer @maggiemoo1892 @mandeepandee1997

@maried01 @maryfanson @missladym1981 @misstokyo7love

@notyouraveragemochii @nova-starlite @olafsmiles2020 @oliveksmoked @harrysrosetatto

@owlhypnosis @pasc4lfuzz @pearlthegurl @plancommence @purplewis44

@rav3n-pascal22 @readingiskeepingmegoing @runningmom94 @ryuzakemo128 @sandaltoesocks

@sherala007 @sjc7542 @southernbe @stevie75 @stileslvr

@sub-aro @sundaze29 @survivingandenduring @suziesc @the-strawberrythief

@thethirstwivesclub @timpletance @tiredandtwitchy @titlee78 @trulybetty

@tupelomiss @weho2kcmo @willcw-tree @xchar1 @yep531

@yesjazzywazzylove-blog @yopossum @yopossum-loves @yorksgirl @beefrobeefcal

@papipascaaaal @shadowpandas @tangled-tumbler-blog-blog @you-give-aspirin-headaches @jollybhie 

@sunshinehaze1 @diamondclit0ris @midnightbabylon @nerdieforpedro @cheyennerenee10

[eatmangoesnekkid]

Belly Dance Observations Week 4

I am now going on record to state that belly dance is an essential ingredient for every female body interested in accessing its innate divine feminine power in a more accelerated journey. What I noticed this week was that my breasts have reverted back to their 20 year old texture. But it’s not about the aesthetics —they are lovely don’t get me wrong, but I'm 47 and not looking for my 20 year breasts...it is just what happened naturally. What enlivens me, what lights up my eyes and dilates my blood vessels, is that I have accessed another portal to tapping into larger untapped kinetic potential (energy, mystery, and freedom) held in the female body. More inner sunlight!

Speaking to another dance student in my class —a 60 year old body-aware ex-ballerina, she shared how she felt the same way when she first started and continues to feel that heightened radiance after each class. I get it though! The hips, spine, and belly hold power that fuels our entire ecosystem. They are the sunlight currency systems! Because I’m a pole dancer, a building/strengthening and flexibility-inducing sexy art, I felt the clarion call to nurture my center of reality with more fluidity and yin, to soften my belly and hips sort of speak. A soft belly with strong flexible legs means that the body is receiving an abundance of earth and water energy from the ground, the earth. Water and earth energy create a strong healthy lubricated female body wellspring. A lubricated female body is actually pulsing with the universe, which isn't about sex, as lovely and delicious as heart-connected sex can be. It is about creation. The creation of new narratives. The shimmies, hip drops, and belly shakes/pumps heat up or activate kundalini to help clear densely-blocked channels in our bellies from unresolved emotions in this recent life and past lives and the detached depression we continue to carry from our foremothers/forefathers trying to navigate inhumane, insanity, predatory Western systems, AND the repression from violence against our grandmothers and the accompanying terror of living in a female body throughout lifetimes.

Whew chile! No wonder so many of us behave out of alignment with our highest potential. But the beauty is that we are shifts and plot twists in our grandmothers' narratives. We have the opportunity NOW to heal in ways that our beloved grandmothers didn't have the opportunity to. Couple that with the fact that if we had a rough childhood, we must process those suppressed emotions throughout our bodies—loosen the shit up so that they can decalcify and be transmuted into more space and love that opens the way to making NEW CHOICES and IMPLEMENTING NEW HABITS🕊️! If you are highly-sensitive and empathetic like I am as well and have been working to open up your heart—to increase your frequency/magnetism through accessing more of your heart space, belly dance (or some other passionate movement like belly self-massages or other belly/hip grabbing, ass-gripping, and spine-undulating, deep-breathing touch during lovemaking) is essential and completely non-negotiable. Hot damn!

My teacher asked the other day how old I was. And she had to sit down in a chair in disbelief when I told her. I live a regenerative life and am always discovering new ways this body my soul essence lives inside of can come alive so that I share the discoveries with other women and non-binary people. I am sooooo in love with belly dance! If you are not resourced enough to get to a class, go to YouTube and find tutorials there. Play around there with moving your belly, back and hips in 4-dimensional ways. Trance out with it.

Such a big part of what I believe my role as a woman/myth being is to bequeath other women with the wisdom to navigate this human existence, to land fully in their bodies in this incarnation, and know in deepest sense that all of us is worthy and welcomed. We get to be in relationship with our bodies and all the feels-- from deep love to deep anger to sadness to pristine ecstasy. To feel them and let them run/drip/leak/undulate and be seen/felt in them and sometimes go deeply into what’s underneath when desired. In my last class, I cried for some unknown reason. It was incredibly liberating to just let it flow and move on.

Sometimes what I witness happen with women is that when we start feel our denser suppressed emotions like anger or rage, we stay in them for years....unconsciously-- without awareness, creating other calcifications like fibriods or tumors from either being easily triggered by the external world, not detoxifying and moving enough through our processes, or of course, never accessing what has been suppressed. And I get it too--it's a lot happening all at once and it can be a tough game to play . But this is the times we are living in and sometimes it's just hard so learn to be okay with life being hard while also keenly aware that it doesn’t always have to be. We have to be lovers again. A lover state of being is essential for our bodies' highest harmonies. But we also must be a bit like martial arts and warriors. Capoeira-style in the shape of belly dancers. We have to be here for all of it.

With feeling, also *practice* feeling the emotions that may be less natural for you to feel right now like joy, gratitude, appreciation, tenderness, ecstasy, softness, sweetness, relaxation, and serenity. Normalize these states so that your body receives neurotransmitters, endorphins, oxytocin, and serotonin that help to nourish and repair it. Rest, hike, touching, kissing, really good sex, good nourishing food, healthy relationships, laughter, limiting social media/tv, creativity/finishing projects, good music, and of course dance. As you release and open, you may find yourself rarely usurping emotions like "anger." Not that anything is bad/wrong about the very useful emotion of anger but when you consciously create your life, the more fulfilled you become, the less necessary the energy of anger becomes for you in how you process or experience life. But if ever needed again, you know how to access your anger, embrace it, and hold yourself in it by feeling it into a warm flow.

[omarsfeverdreams]

I feel so out of...it? So out of the motions, out of the path.

I need to get back to where I belong rather than this weird limbo filled with lots of fake people and Carey. Carey is a real one though, I really hope I can see them again before I leave.

Anyways, I had am anxiety attack today in the middle of a titan fall 2 game. I literally had to get over it while performing high level game Play in an intense 1v1 Kraber only match against Elliot. It ended up at 15-14. It was intense.

Now I'm so...lost?

If anything , I'm looking forward to meeting new people, cooking and exploring new recipes , waking up at 4: 30 am , managing my finances and overall bettering myself.

I want to help look for missing people at the medical examiner's office and visit different churches of different faiths.

I want to go to the public library and check out books on science topics that draw my curiosity.

I want...to be loved and all that stuff. Saying that reminds me of the words of my master, " Omar, you seem to keep her around only because you want someone that tells you that they love you. ". Of course, he would refer to the human condition. It takes alot to detach from your own self and see yourself for what you really are.

In another topic, do I miss you? Maybe.

Do I love you? ...maybe tbh..idk anymore.

I think I'm just growing numb and everything I feel for you is withering away because I...can't do anything about what happened.

-No se Duerman from Alex Torres.

Chile bro, I'm only going to learn, grow and move forward from this shit. I can't believe that you didn't believe in me but that's more than enough reason to end it. To stop what I felt for you.

I'm sorry but you don't deserve me. I hold your memories and emotions so dear to my heart and soul so it really hurts to say that but dude, I can't let you keep hurting me and dominating me that way. Its not fair to me. What sucks the most is that ya Mero me la creía. Ya Mero creí que me amabas. That you finally loved me. Yes we kissed and did all those things of affection but I was always confused by what you felt and said.

You held back from saying ," I love you " to me because like you said " si lo digo, ya va valer madres." And as true as that maybe , I must ask yku these 2 things:

Did you hold back in fear of ruining things aka que valga madres or lack of actual love to give me ?

What was up with you?

I'm sorry that I put all that pressure onto you.

I just wish I understood you , like truly.

[wormstacheangel]

have some latinenatural for day 1 of @spnprideweek dean trying to come out to himself

Dean didn’t like going down this neighborhood. It never made him any money, plus the block is a dead end, so he always ends up circling back around with his heavy cart. His Tio always yelled at him for it, wasting precious time in a block where nobody paid him any attention because these Americanos aren’t used to people walking around selling comida.

Pero Dean always had one customer that always came running out whenever Dean came around, and he was worth the extra minutes he had to petal in the hot sun.

“Dean!”

Dean hears his name, expecting it but still feeling relief from hearing it. He looks ahead, his fingers stopped ringing the bells that have become background noise to him by now, and sees his favorite customer running out of the big white house Dean can only ever dream of renting. He wouldn’t ever dream of owning; he can’t have dreams so impossible.

Dean petals a little bit faster until he breaks in front of the pretty face he sees at least three times a week.

“Cas.” Dean practically beams at him even though he was trying to stay cool. Smooth. “Mi Angelito.” Dean winks, and he doesn’t miss Cas’s eyes widened and ears blushing at the nickname. “How you been?”

[continue reading under the cut or read on ao3]

Cas was dressed in his usual white button-up and slacks but they looked a lot more ruffled up than usual. His hair looked unkempt as it curled at the ends—Dean wasn’t complaining he loved it—and his typical neat shirt was wrinkled with sleeves pulled up to his elbows. He looked the guy up and down before his eyebrows creased together.

“You okay, Cas?”

“Yeah.” Cas sighed, shoulders slumping as he reached to run his hand through his hair—that probably explains the bed head—before smiling back at Dean with a deep breath. “Yeah. I’m fine.”

“If you say so.” Dean jumps off the bike and walks over to his cart. “The usual?”

“Please.”

Dean nods once before getting to work on a raspado de vainilla for Cas. He works in silence for a minute, just the sound of the ice scraping between them before Dean looks back at Cas.

“You know, si quieres, you can talk to me.” Dean looks up to see Cas was already watching him. “I know I’m a nobody, but I hear nobodies are great to vent to.”

“You aren’t a nobody, Dean.” Cas’s expression softens at the words. His eyes brighten as he looks at Dean, almost as if he can see into his soul. Then, just as Dean was about to drown in those baby blues, Cas looked away. His fingers started to twitch as he looked sheepishly at the ground. “Plus, my problems are small. I can deal with them by myself.”

Dean looks away, packing the ice into the cup before reaching to pour the vainilla as he talks. “Yeah, I know you can, pero; I just wanted to let you know that you don’t have to.”

Cas is nothing but a customer that Dean has been crushing on—it was a small, slow, and scary realization. The only reason they’re on a first-name basis now is because Cas once left his name tag on, and Dean asked what it meant.

Dean handed Cas his raspado across the cart, Dean needed to keep his distance, but he knew when Cas reached for it, their fingers would touch; he looked forward to the simple touch each time.

They did, and Dean’s breath catches in his throat before he works on chicharrones, lots of limon, and a little bit of chile.

“But I get it, you know, if you don’t want to talk to me.” Dean looks up to see Cas still staring at him but with eyes filling with tears. “Holy shit.” Dean put the bag down and walked around to stand by Cas’s side. He grabbed a napkin from his cart and handed it to Cas to wipe his eyes. “Dude. Dude, please no llores. Don’t cry. People are gonna think I did something to you, and I’ll lose customers.” Dean tries to joke, but Cas doesn’t crack a smile. Instead, he rolls his eyes.

“Dean, nobody but me ever comes out here.”

Dean shrugs. “Potential customers then.” Dean grabs another napkin and reaches to wipe the tears that were already falling. “Estas bien, Angelito. Talk to me.”

“I-I shouldn’t.” Cas accepts Dean’s kindness for a second longer before gently moving Dean’s hand away. “You’re working. Let me just pay you so you can stop wasting your time here.”

Dean nods, stepping away from Cas so as not to seem pushy. As much as he loved being so close to Cas’s face, he didn’t want to seem creepy about it. This neighborhood has eyes everywhere, and Dean couldn’t really risk having his cart, his livelihood, be taken away just cause he has a small crush on the white boy.

So Cas gives him the exact change to the quarter and smiles sadly before he waves goodbye. Dean waves back as he gets on his bike to pedal out of this neighborhood and into a more comfortable one. He didn't ring the bell until he was out of there.

Cas doesn’t come out to see him the next day or the day after that, and now he has to wait until next week to see him. If Cas still wanted to see him.

“I don’t know why you still go over there,” Sam says as he helps Dean unpack the car.

Dean’s side gigs included selling his homemade food Friday through Sunday—he can almost call himself a caterer—while on Thursday, he preps during the day and works as a janitor in a big law office at night. Today was Thursday, so Dean had to wake up early to go to the big marketplace downtown. They sold the chicharrones de harina in bulk for cheap, and they had all the ingredients he’ll need to make the syrups for the raspados himself.

Sam rarely comes with Dean to get all these things since he was always busy with school, but today he came along on the day that Dean ran out of maiz azul. It just meant more trabajo para los dos.

“Or why you still sell raspados when you make more money on the weekend with your food.” Sam continued as they struggled to carry the bag of maiz to the kitchen. They both let out a heavy breath when they finally dropped the bag in the kitchen. Dean’s going to spend the next hour cleaning and soaking the damn corn after this. That doesn’t even include cooking it and finally making the damn masa.

“El trabajo es duro but I like it.” Dean pats Sam’s shoulder before they go back to the car to get the rest of the things. “I like going down neighborhoods and saying hi to people.”

“I get that pero why do you have to go to their side of town?”

Dean doesn’t know how to answer that.

He hasn’t told anyone about Cas. About how one day he was bored and wandered over to that neighborhood only to find Cas laying on his front lawn with a book covering his face. Dean, for some reason, couldn’t help but to ring the bells louder, startling Cas. Dean laughed for half a second before a book went flying to his face, knocking him off his bike. Cas learned too many cuss words in Spanish that day, but the big bruise was worth it.

Still, Dean didn’t want to tell anyone about Cas. Afraid to even speak of him because that would mean that his crush was real. That he had actual feelings, romantic ones, for another guy.

He knows que su Tío no lo va sacar de la casa pero todavía Dean tenía miedo. He was scared to admit this part of himself was real when it felt like a sin in his culture. ¡Ser gay es una cosa pero bisexual! ¡Ni madres! That doesn’t exist. Not where he is from.

So he’ll keep it to himself. Keep Cas as his secret fantasy and nothing more.

“The houses are nice to look at. One day, Sammy!” Sam was already groaning at Dean’s words that sounded more like an old man’s recurring ‘when I was your age’ stories. “One day, I’ll get us a house like that! One where we can each have our own room. And bathroom.”

“Yeah. Yeah. Whatever. Let’s just finish this so I can go back to my homework.”

“¡Estas pendejo! After this, you’re gonna help me clean the bathroom and throw away the trash before Tio comes home.”

“But Dean,”

“¡Pero nada! ¡Piensas que soy pendejo como tu, pinche mamón! Don’t think I don’t know you spend that time babeando por tu novia.”

“Dean!” Sam quickly passes him in a huff of embarrassment while Dean laughed, following Sam back to the car to get more groceries.

When Monday rolls around, Dean forces himself to come down Cas’s street again. The bells rang softly at first, only getting louder as he came closer to the house. He didn’t see a car in sight, so he thinks maybe Cas isn’t home.

He was already pedaling away when he heard someone call out to him. He hits the breaks half haphazardly, and the gallons shake on his cart, threatening to fall out. He was about to turn around, but then he realizes he hears footsteps running closer, and then he hears heavy breathing by his ear.

“Fuck.” Cas hands rest on his knees as he tries to catch his breath. “Are you-are you trying to run away from me?” Cas looks up with a teasing smile, it was beautiful, and Dean didn’t realize how much he missed him until now. “I am your only customer around here, so that’s a pretty bad business decision if you ask me.”

“I-I didn’t think you wanted to see me.” Dean could have joked around with him, but instead, his mouth decided to kick the conversation off with some honesty. Dean looked down at the bike handles as he talked. “Since you didn’t come out last week, I just figured-”

“Oh.” Cas stood up straight as he ran a hand through his overgrown hair; his clothes looked neat again, though. “I didn’t mean to make you think-”

Dean holds his hand out to stop Cas from talking, feeling embarrassed with every word. “Para. You don’t have to explain. No me debes-you don’t owe me anything.”

“I know that, but I want to. Talk, I mean. If that’s okay with you.” Cas looks at Dean with soft, warm eyes, a drastic difference from the red-rimmed eyes from the last time they saw each other. “After you’re done with work, of course.”

“I um-I usually head home around six. I can um,” Dean rubbed at the back of his neck, not meeting Cas’s eyes as he carefully says. “I can come by after if you want.”

“I would like that.”

Dean's head shoots up to stare back at Cas, who looked shy, pero siempre más guapo que la última vez que Dean lo miró.

At that moment, Dean wanted to lean in and kiss him more than he has wanted to kiss anyone in his 26 years of life, but he won’t. He still wasn’t sure if this was Cas asking him out as a friend or as something more. He was scared, but he knew his heart raced in excitement more than anything.

Dean finally broke away from the staring contest as he cleared his throat to get off his bike. “Todavia quieres-Do you still want your raspado?”

“Oh. Sure!”

It was silent while Dean made raspado, but he couldn’t wait for their fingers to graze again when he handed the cup over to Cas.

“Just the raspado today.” Dean still loved when Cas said it, trying not to laugh even though he loved Cas’s embarrassed blushing. Cas reaches into his pocket, but Dean reaches to touch his shoulder to stop him.

“On the house.” Dean holds it out and just like before their fingers touch, burning him.

“No, Dean, I couldn’t.”

Dean shakes his head to stop him from arguing any further. He jumped back on his bike and looked back at Cas as he said, “You can get me something later. Is seven okay?”

“Seven is…perfecto.” Cas flinched at his Spanish, but Dean couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Pues, te miro mas tarde, Angelito.” Dean reached to pat Cas’s cheek before he started pedaling away.

“Dean! I don’t know what that means!” Cas calls out to him.

Dean doesn’t turn around to respond, mostly to hide the stupid shit-eating grin he had on his face. “I said I’ll see you later!” But he does wave goodbye, ringing the bell as he goes.

Dean really liked him, and it brought fear into his heart pero al mismo tiempo; he hasn’t been this excited to just be around someone in such a long time. So maybe this is his time to accept that maybe, for sure, he is crushing hard on a guy.

Dean sighs as he stops on the sidewalk to hang his head and quietly whispers, “For fucks sakes, soy un pinche gay.”

Well, at least he can admit to himself—sort of.

[hajim3]

𝙰𝚔𝚊𝚊𝚜𝚑𝚒 𝙽𝚜𝚏𝚠 𝙷𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚌𝚊𝚗𝚗𝚘𝚗𝚜

꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒦꒷‧˚꒦꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷

Honestly I was bored and just felt like posting something since I haven’t actually posted any writings in a while. I’ve been working on my m.list and that shit hard 😩

n e way enjoy😌💖

honestly idek what to put for the warnings just know it’s nsfw 👍🏾

nsfw under the cut; minors pls dni; gn!reader

word count: 489

꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒦꒷‧˚꒦꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷꒦ ꒷꒦‧˚.‧꒷꒷꒦꒷‧˚.‧꒦꒷

- First of all before I say anything’s else lemme get something out the way..... he’s kinky asf boo💅🏾✨

- Like seriously he will dead ass try anything as long as your cool with it

- If he’s whoreknee before a game he will MOST DEF pull you into the locker room and he either lets you blow him or he just full on rails you against the lockers y’all may or may not have gotten caught by Bokuto once or twice😗

- He is the KING of teasing

- Whispering dirty things in your ear in front of people, rubbing your thigh just a little bit to high and squeezing it, and don’t get caught lackin cuz he will slap your ass and you’ll be left limping

- Whispering dirty things in your ear in front of people, rubbing your thigh just a little bit to high and squeezing it, and don’t get caught lackin cuz he will slap your ass and you’ll be left limping

- If your being bratty and trying to tease him, he’ll act like nothing is wrong all day so you keep acting up like he’s not gonna bend you over his knee and spank you raw then fuck you till you damn near pass out as soon as y’all get home... lord bless your poor soul

- One time you were being extra needy while he was on an important phone call and he continuously told you to stop and wait but you obviously didn’t, so when he got done, he blindfolded you, tied your hands and ankles to the head board, and left a vibrator in you while he took a shower

- Even when he took the vibrator out, he still fucked you until you were a fucked out, crying mess🌟

- Aftercare is ✨immaculate✨

- He’ll run you guys a hot bath with candles lit around it and carry you to the bath tub and he’ll clean you up while showering you face with little kisses

- Then he brings you two back to bed and he whispers praises into your ears while you two cuddle and he massages your lower back with his thumb and rubs over and kisses the marks that the rope left

- The next morning he cooks breakfast and when he wakes you up, you’re all sore and bruised up and he just chuckles at how pathetic you look❤️

NOW LETS TALK DICC SIZE

- Soft- 7 inches

- Hard- 9.5

- Got some thicc to it, not to much but just enough to drive you crazy😩 and it’s literally so pretty like wtf; the tip is kinda pink and it’s got some veins running down it whew chile 🧎🏾‍♀️

-Nick Names-

For him~ babe/baby, sweetie, daddy

Contact name~ Lover Boy 😩💗

For you~ babe/baby/baby girl/boy, Darling, sweetheart (ok so I don’t like y*gami sharto anymore but I do feel like he would call you darling it kinda fits)

Contact name~ Darling 🌺❤️✨

FIN

 ⌜ •   °    +   °   •   ⌝

© original work of hajim3 (2021), do not modify or repost without permission.

Likes, reblogs and follows are greatly appreciated 💖

[kkeidawrites]

Castlevania spoilers!!!! If you don’t want to know how the show ends in season 4 please refrain from reading the rest of this post because I’m not holding back! Also I’m writing this as I watched so, this is my raw review!

Okay, so first off I want to say personally, I loved how season 4 brought heat to the finale of the show. Although I’m sad as hell that this is the last season for a great show.

Episode 1: Murder Wakes It Up- I thought that it was cool to see Trevor and Sypha fighting again after what happened in S3, obviously they are tired from the long four week journey of fighting night creatures, skeleton zombies, vampires from different countries, etc. but clearly the end game is that humans and vampires alike are working together to bring back Dracula. Like seriously, y’all might not know this but I hate, HATE when children become involved in stupid shit like human sacrifices like I can’t. Not the children. Please, not the babies. Sypha complaining she’s becoming like Trevor, and she’s so cute when she curses lol. Then when they arrive in Targoviste we have some new faces as potential enemies. I thought they were lame honestly lol I couldn’t take Barney-Larney whatever his dumbass was; he was mad annoying.

Then they shift over to Alucard…I have never seen a more broken beautiful drunk man in all my life. Like I had S3 flashbacks. He’s asked for help from a messenger who ended up dying on the way to the castle but his horse made sure he continued the journey and Alucard received the message for help in Danesti. Alucard fights with the horse, I thought that was funny. He was thoughtful enough to bury the rider, that was very sweet of him.

Also, shirtless Alucard will be engraved in my mind for life. Whew, chile that’s one fine man. He’s beginning to talk like Belmont and I can’t help how hilarious that is.

Episode 2: Having the World: Quite honestly this episode to me was meh. Hector talking with Lenore about how he needs this and that to create his hammer to continue forgemastering then Lenore talks with Carmilla and the white haired bat talks about how she is going to rule the world and what not, clearly losing her sanity.

Then it shifts over to Trevor and Sypha and they are fighting in a barn and new character Zamfir. Her character for me was also meh, but it’s nice to see more PoC in the show.

Episode 3: Walk Away: I liked this episode a lot. Issac altogether was nice enough to sit down and talk with a night creature and tell him/them that they were free of their original program, which was: eating humans, causing destruction, used as tools to forge masters. But man when he received that berry from Issac he realized that there is still some kind of humanity in them.

Issac is contacted by Varney to bring back Dracula but, Issac wants no business with that; he doing his own thing and seeing him being sassy again is so refreshing.

Morana and Striga scenes!!! I loved them, and then there was Striga’s day armor, man listen…I have never felt more closer to watching Berserk again than in that moment. They are hesitant to return back to Styria when Carmilla calls them, and it puts them in a bind to return home to continue through with Carmilla’s plans.

Sypha being annoyed by Zamfir was me the entire time. How you gone run a kingdom again with out a kingdom. Like girl, help the people instead of the royals, my god.

Episode 4: You Must Sacrifice: A cute little Trevor and Sypha scene. They decide to investigate Targoviste more before helping Zamfir. The scene shifts and Alucard is riding towards Danesti, donning a shield and a longer cape. Monsters are attacking the walls of the village, villagers are on the other side waiting to defend themselves. Some Castlevania popular screenshots appear here.

Then we meet Greta…Miss thang…that’s one beautiful woman okay. And she’s the chief of the village, cares for her people? Y’all I present. Her. And the fact that she is sassy too? I rock with her heavy as hell.

Saint Germain meets Alucard and I have a weird vibe coming from him. We see Saint Germain’s backstory or what little it will show us; he had a whole girlfriend, she a baddie too. Apparently she was like him? And she was the silhouette we saw in S3. Cool scene, inside the Infinite Corridor and I liked the library scene a lot too. Now he’s on a rampage trying to find access to the Infinite Corridor again to find his girl and he also wants to bring back Dracula? The fuck?

Refugees arrive at Danesti, and Saint Germain is acting very strange indeed. Like he’s desperate to go to the castle to help with the village “defenses”. Alucard agrees I guess? And he says another Belmont comment which I was happy to see again in the season.

Episode 5: Back in the World: Alucard leads Greta, Saint Germain and the villagers to his castle but, encounter a couple of night creatures on the way. Greta does Saint Germain y’all and I’m with her 100%. Alucard’s powers have definitely improved from last season. It was kind of interesting how Alucard willing told Greta what happened with him and you know who, kind of early in my opinion. Greta is bisexual?!!!! I love her 1000% now! I sense some chemistry between Greta and Alucard. I like that a lot.

Lenore really like annoys my soul, I do not like this mini bitch. I didn’t really care what Lenore and Hector talked about🤷🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️sue me. Bruh Greta, beating that monster’s ass with just a hammer and a sword?! And Alucard impressed by it?! I’m here for it!! Some cute moments between Alucard and Greta got me gushing over here😝😝. Poor puppy😢😢. Alucard decides to “grow up” which I think is a nice step forward. Saint Germain is really making me mad.

They arrive at the castle and here goes Saint Germain acting like a fan boy, I mean who wouldn’t but you know…Greta killed me when she said the castle was ugly as hell lol. Another little cutesy scene between Alucard and Greta. Like I really like their chemistry y’all I’m sorry.

Trevor and Sypha demand that Zamfir take responsibility to help the people and I forgot what it was called but, before that they are attacked and Zamfir has something placed on her neck by a night creature.

Then Issac, he’s ready to fuck some shit up. And I’m here for it. Get em, bitch!

Episode 6: You Don’t Deserve My Blood: Carmilla’s castle is attacked by Issac’s night creatures. Lenore old punk ass running away does not surprise me in the slightest. Hector betrays Lenore and locks her in a cage. Hector has contact with Saint Germain like what? I don’t understand but, Issac comes in and it looks like Hector has given up, wanting to die honestly. Issac decides against killing him and Hector asks for his knife. This boy cuts his ring finger that the Lenore placed the ring, in front of her. That scene was meh, I thought he would get pissed at her for what she’s done to him in S3 but, I guess not.

Issac literally stole this episode, from his fight with the vampires and night creatures to Carmilla that shit was -chef’s kiss- magnifico! I loved the animation the fight scenes, yooo I was hyped the whole episode.

Morana and Striga make their decision to go their own way, living their own lives in the west so, bittersweet ending with them, I wanted to actually Striga fight the main trio but, whatever I guess.

Hector still has plans to bring back Dracula and asks Issac if he’s doing the same. Issac has other plans obviously, and tells Hector that they need to find their path in their lives. I feel Hector never knew where he was supposed to be placed in the world but Issacs words are very inspiring in my opinion. May have woke Hector’s dumbass up a bit.

Episode 7: The Great Work: Varney and the other guy, I really forgot his name found out about the catacombs and head there. Trevor and Sypha demand Zamfir take them underground, which to me I think it’s nothing there but her shit. Sypha gets mad at Zamfir and I’m with her, how you part of the royal guard when the people above need your help girl my god.

The cutest scene ever in this episode, was when the kids from Danesti wanting to play with Alucard and this boy jumps off the highest part of the castle just to show off. There should be more scenes of soft Alucard with children. Saint Germain is placing these weird stones it looks like in the castle walls. What is going on with him?

More Alucard and Greta moments please and thank you. The artwork in the castle is fucking phenomenal work. Saint Germain just gave the location to a vampire it looks like, from episode 4 maybe? He looks familiar.

There is a freaking army coming to the castle…lord Jesus. Like can they catch a break please? The kids just got settled.

Trevor and Sypha go to the catacombs and it’s just as bad as the people above grounds. New weapon acquired for Trevor, pretty dope. The king and Queen are dead and Zamfir is officially insane. She really thinks that the king and Queen will come back alive and protect their people like she’s done them. Sypha tries to talk to her, that puts her in a weird daze, Trevor is just being Trevor. Varney and his lackey, come to the catacombs looking to kill I really do not know that man’s name y’all so I apologize for not giving a damn about him lol.

The castle is about to be under siege, I’m not ready. Having a whole heart attack over here from nerves.

Episode 8: Death Magic: Varney and his partner attack the people in the catacombs, Varney is looking for a giant mirror? Why I don’t know. Poor Trevor and Sypha they are soooo tired, I feel so bad for them. Zamfir is actually not bad of a fighter, I like that. Sypha still the goat, no cap.

The castle is under attack, it’s actually nice to see how diverse the vampires are in this show, you can tell what countries their from and I think that’s dope as hell. And then every time a human dies their souls are transferred to Saint Germaine? So is this another S3 human sacrifice crap again? Omg…I’m so sick of that. Saint Germain uses the key he received from the woman in the Infinite Corridor and it creates the symbol of the corridor’s portal.

Here goes Alucard being a badass again, I never tire of him being one. Greta holding it down too is really cool, I don’t care what nobody say, she is that bitch. Her and that hammer, a force to be reckoned with.

Everyone is overwhelmed and have no choice but to evacuate to the castle, right before those doors closed Alucard nods to her to leave him out to fight and she looks at him like boy bye. Get yo ass in this castle. Greta pulling Alucard in just shows they are compatible for one another. Even the playful banter between them is cute.

The discovery of the stones in the walls leads Greta and Alucard to his childhood bedroom and they find Saint Germain where he reveals he’s opening the Infinite Corridor to bring back Dracula by using death magic. Petty Saint Germain, I do not like him bro.

They have to deal with him later though to fight off the night creatures that got into the castle. Greta still holding it down.

Trevor and the vampire guy is still fighting but, Trevor being so tired he’s slowing a bit, and honestly I don’t know how he’s still able to function at this point. Sypha shows off her powers like a G that she is and Zamfir is doing some great damage with the knives she’s got and that’s crazy how little knives can do to the body.

Did Sypha always have lightning powers? I don’t remember. If it’s new I love it! Trevor’s almost killed but a woman and child save him in time but, unfortunately Zamfir is stabbed in the stomach when the vampire moves to kill them both. I’m going to be honest I didn’t really care for Zamfir’s character she was just…there lol.

Then that scene with Sypha basically incinerating the rest of the monsters is fire!!! No pun intended lol. Varney finds the mirror and steps through it where Saint Germain is. Trevor and Sypha goes through the mirror as well but in a different location in the castle.

Episode 9: The Endings: This whole episode was literally the best of the best in any other seasons. The fight scenes, the banter, the main three…oh my God I loved it all. Noooooo, the dolls!!!!!! You bastards!!!! Trevor and Sypha’s entrance was perfect. Muah! Perfecto! The rock monsters really confused me on how they were killed but you know what who cares?

Alucard has wings?!!!!! What?!!!!!!!!! The general of the caravan have brought in the man woman thingy to Saint Germain. Death has appeared. His character design is dope af. Noooo not mom and dad!!! Nooo! Poor Alucard had to witness his parents literally in pain and of course Trevor ends it again, somehow Saint Germain redeemed himself almost?

The four vampires fighting the main trio had me running for my money. I liked the whole scene it was nice to see at least one or two vampires almost have the upper hand on the main trio.

That general vampire? His fight was wild, throwing his arm as it was about to explode and use it against Trevor was genius. And main trio…they don’t need to have a plan to fight they just work so well together that it works out in end.

Trevor vs. Death. Also was that the first time Trevor told Sypha he loved her? I can’t remember. Anyway, back to the final battle. The quality of the fight, the sheer power between both characters, and then he goes and sacrificed himself like Trevor are you deadass? You deadass died? Unacceptable. And then episode just ends.

Episode 10: It’s Been a Strange Ride: Lenore died so lame, and she was drunk as well when she died. I really won’t be missing her because she was just a character I very much disliked. Hector is finally free, little dumbass.

I wanna see what Issac is up to and Morana and Striga seems appropriate. But oh well, I hope they are happy wherever they are.

Tombstone for Trevor, it’s not real. He ain’t dead, I don’t believe that. Omg, Greta and Alucard are together?!!! Whoooooo!!! And the village kids are calling him father? Yasssssssssssss!!!!! I’m here for it. Alucard saying he’s not used to people is 100% me in public I don’t like being around a lot of people and it doesn’t help I have anxiety either. Sypha being pregnant was a given she looked a little thicker in the hips from episode one. She can’t leave…we need her. Really Castlevania creators? Y’all gone play with all our hearts? Thinking Trevor was dead and he gone pop up on a horse?

And look at this⤵️⤵️

He’s smiling, happy, soft, has a boo thang I’m….😭😭😭I’m so happy.

Y’all….all in all this was a great ending to the show…a great ending…

Oh wait…wait…wait wait wait, mom and dad are alive?!!! But how? You know what I don’t care their going to travel to England and their heart shaped embrace is everything. Oh no I’m crying again….

[gummyvitamin]

𝑸𝒖𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒆 + 𝑾𝒂𝒚𝑽 𝑺𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒔: 𝑯𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓𝒚

♡ 𝒌𝒖𝒏 𝒕𝒆𝒏 𝒘𝒊𝒏𝒘𝒊𝒏 𝒍𝒖𝒄𝒂𝒔 𝒙𝒊𝒂𝒐𝒋𝒖𝒏 𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒚𝒂𝒏𝒈

college roommate!hendery x gender neutral reader

genre: fluff; college au; friends to lovers

words: 863

*disclaimer: this post is not at all meant to undermine the severity of the pandemic; this is meant to help cheer up those who are bored or in low spirits because of quarantine. it is so so important to be mindful and do what we can to stop the spread. stay safe, please please wash your hands frequently, and help protect others by avoiding public spaces, wearing a mask and maintaining social distancing :)

so ur spring semester at university had ended and it was finally summer!!

and u were currently isolating in ur apartment with ur roommate hendery

u were initially nervous before ur move-in day bc hendery had been a randomly assigned roommate

but he ended up being ur closest friend and u two got along really well:))

he knew when to be quiet if u had to study for a big exam

but he also knew when to be loud and energetic and a big ol positive ball of sunshine if he ever noticed u were feeling down

plus u had never expected ur roommate to be this good looking😳

but yea generally u had no complaints about living with hendery, but now that classes were finished he was having a liiiitle bit of a hard time sitting still

and by that I mean this boy was absolutely losing his shit from boredom🥴

like hendery was picking up the whackiest hobbies and consequently dragging u w him in his pursuit for entertainment

and he won’t admit it but he rly just wants to spend more time with u and doesnt want u being alone in ur room all day where he can’t see u🥺

like one time he made u try a chloe ting workout with him

which left u both so sore that it hurt just to breathe

and last week he insisted u dye his hair from dark brown all the way to platinum blonde because “it’s quarantine so no one will see me if i go bald! :D”

which u absolutely did almost bald him in the process

and recently hes resorted to just laying on the living room floor, yelling up at the ceiling about how bored he is

right now it was currently pretty early in the day, and u were sat on the couch messing with ur phone

and hendery just bolts out of his room like “Y/N Y/N Y/N !!!” and u swear u lose part of ur soul from the fright he gave u

hes excitedly shoving his phone in ur face with a screenshot of a recipe pulled up

he looks u dead in the eye and is like “yo, we’re making these cookies Right. Now.”

and considering neither of u know how to make anything other than instant ramen ur feeling kinda questionable about his newest proposition

but one quick trip to the grocery store later and here u are in the kitchen, sat on the counter while hendery is reading out the measurements

well u both realize very quickly that this recipe miiight just be a bit beyond ur baking skill level

so now uve got random misshapen blobs of colorful dough everywhere, 

there’s rainbow sprinkles spilled all over the floor,

and somehow hendery has a stripe of blue food coloring painted across his cheek that wont. come. off.

so now ur,,uhm,,,“abstract” rainbow cookies are in in the oven,

and hes sat on the kitchen counter by the sink while ur stood between his legs trying to scrub the mark off his face

the whole time hendery is like lowkey short circuiting bc ur /so close/ to him rn holy shit

ur just concentrating so hard and staring at him and he thinks u look sooo cute

and I don’t think u realize how gently ur caressing his face while holding his head still with ur other hand whew chile

lowkey in his head hes like ahaha are we about to kiss rn😳😏 

and without thinking he leans his head in a bit and ur faces get reeeeallly close

and ur a bit shocked by his sudden move so u jump back a bit looking at him wide-eyed like “????”

and henderys just like “idk i just rly felt like kissing u aha,,,ive wanted to do that for a while actually,,”

“hendery, is this like,,,a confession?”

“hehe maybe,, so u wanna kiss me or what ;P”

and so u do !!!

and it’s a really soft and sweet kiss🥺

he’s gently holding your cheek with one hand, his other hand lightly placed on the small of ur back, and uve got ur hand threaded thru his crunchy dead bleached hair

u pull back and look at him still sitting on the counter like o shit i just kissed my freaking roommate

but a loud beeping brings u back to reality and “oH shiT y/n theres smoke coming out of the oven !!!”

unfortunately there was not a single surviving rainbow cookie, but instead a whole tray full of blackened coals

and hendery just starts laughing and ur laughing too bc “why tf did we think we could bake LOL”

u two send a video of urselves knocking the burnt cookies against the counter to kun to which he just responds with “🙄”

and after hendery dramatically fake cries and sends the cookies into the trash, he pulls u into the living room and down onto the couch with him

and u end up peacefully napping and cuddling for the rest of the day🥺

[naturaldisasterfanfiction]

9. Part 2

I am on my third blunt, but yet my mind is on the fact Rihanna and Mel have both been at me to come to the home, for what. To throw it in my face about her being pregnant I don’t fucking think so, I don’t even want to see Rihanna pregnant, not when it is not mine. I am hurt about it, I feel like they want to get back at me, now I know they do because she mentioned Kae. Putting my blunt out as I got up from the couch “fucking sick of these bitches” making my way to the kitchen area, I don’t know why I am coming here but I am “move” I said to some random girl in the way “rude!” she spat, placing my hands on the counter, it’s driving me crazy that she is pregnant and I shouldn’t feel this way but I am, it’s like she laughed in my face with all that talk, she knew. She knew she would be fucking Drake, oh she fucking had sex with me with a condom on and him raw, see how foul she is about this situation “maybe this should be your last blunt” Krista said, she was about to touch my blunt but I moved it “don’t fucking touch my shit!” I shouted and walked off again “what is even wrong with you!” I don’t need another fucking female driving me crazy, Rihanna is doing it for me “it’s ok, you just leave him” Hoody said as I walked by him “aye!” he said behind me, I was going to kick my door open but I didn’t, it’s my home and I need to remain calm. I sure in hell banged the door shut to my studio, placing the blunt between my lips and lit it as I sat down in the chair and sitting back “bro, what is wrong? You are taking too much in, like you are mixing whippets and blunt together without having a break” blowing the smoke out from my lips “fuck you” I pointed at him “what has happened? You got a broken phone and all that shit, come on?” I laughed, I laughed so hard because they think I am crazy, but I am not, I know everything. Grabbing the dispenser from the side “leave me the fuck alone, nigga” I don’t need him.

Placing my hand over my head as a sob left my lips, I close my eyes and I fucking see her face and I don’t want it “not crying” I said to myself, throwing the dispenser to the corner and got up from the chair. Let me go, I want to know now what the fuck she wants. I am high enough to not care, or maybe I am just feeling emotional, but I don’t care nothing will hurt me now. Walking out of the studio room “clean this shit” I mumbled, I want a clean home when I come back but what do I know I am just out of my mind. Grabbing my Bentley key from the side “what are you doing? Aye, where you going” Sinko grabbed my shoulder, pushing him “don’t fucking touch me, I am going out” walking off to the front door “but you are out of it, if you get stopped nigga you will be locked up. We got everything here. What do you need?” he is asking what I need, that is laughable when they need me in everything, who are even these niggas to question me. They don’t care for my wellbeing; I am just a home for them to come too. I swear I am just going there because I am out of it, she can talk her shit and I will be there just not listening.

Who the fuck said I would get stopped, I know where I am going, I am a fucking robot. I am not even human anymore; I am outside the home and I fully knew where I was going to come here. I don’t even want to go inside this home at all, to think she is in there and wants me to come, why. What is even the purpose of this, I know it will be to throw that she is pregnant to my face and to say how happy she is but oh fucking well. I see she rented a place because she isn’t at Mel’ apartment, hiding as fucking always. I was going to get out of the car but then I heard a commotion coming out of the home, squinting my eyes seeing a group coming out of the home, she is having a party in that home and wants me to come there, she is a bitch. I know she is a bitch because she wants to just crush my soul and then stomp on it, opening the car door. I am surprised it’s not gated off but then this is a rich area, and nobody really comes here with the police constantly around, it’s rented anyways or knowing my luck she has moved here. Stepping out of the car, I feel a little weird actually. I have totally taken too much I think, turning around and grabbing my phone from the middle panel “what” I said to myself, when did my phone screen break. Kicking my door shut, I turned around a little too quickly I near fell “you dancing for us!” I am sure that is Jen’ voice, looking up and seeing her wave, locking my car door and walking across and then hearing a loud honk. Turning to see the bright lights “what the fuck dude!?” some guy shouted “suck my dick nigga, you fucking blind you saw me walking. Don’t fuck with me and that is on blood” I can’t see who this guy is but whatever, walking off anyways “he is dancing and stepping in front of cars now, hey!” Jen is funny but I don’t think I am in the right mind to care “chile” this bald headed dude said, looking at him as I walked by “are you ok?” Jen asked “huh, me? Yeah good” walking by her, I don’t want to speak to be honest “I am going now!” hearing Mel shout, I felt guilt seeing Mel. I was rude to her on the messages “the door is open, lets go bitches!!” Mel shouted as she ran by me.

The door is just wide open, stood staring at the open door. I have not moved an inch from when Mel flew by me, looking behind me and at the SUV that is being packed full of Robyn’ people. Turning my head and looking at the door again, it is fully opened, and I don’t actually want to go inside. Putting my head down, I mean I feel at ease but the thought of Robyn being in there pregnant, I just don’t want to see it. Lifting my head hearing the SUV drive off “I can’t” I breathed out, I am going “dat Melissa! You left the door open you stupid-” Robyn stopped shouting from the door looking at me, my eyes fell to her stomach. She is really pregnant; I felt the pain in my heart. I didn’t want it to be true in my own deluded mind I wanted it to be a joke, I hate that I love her, I really fucking do hate it. She still dogged me out, I won’t be slipping this time. I feel so awkward “when you want to come in” Robyn walked off back inside “fuck” looking up to the sky, I need a sign. Any kind of sign because I can’t do it, I am high as fuck and still I feel this way. Eventually she would move on, eventually Robyn was going to get pregnant, but I always wanted it to be mine. Turning back around on myself, I have whippets in my car, I need to feel the euphoria but then what if I am just out of my mind too much, just one shot I will be ok.

I am ready now; I can face a pregnant Robyn. Closing the door behind me I just laughed, I laughed because this is bullshit, there is no reason to feel like this when she isn’t mine, she is everyone else’s and whoever the father is, fuck this “man” I said laughing to myself, now I am giddy and I feel good about myself. Stuffing my hand in my pocket walking inside the home and laughing “woah” I moved back “sorry” staring at the wall “ok that is weird” that was somebody, I just know “hide and seek now, we playing” I am on some shit and I find it hilarious, looking around the home “huh” lifting my leg up looking at the floor “you got a dog!?” I shouted “clearly” placing my foot back down and looking at Robyn, I just laughed “well, well, well. A wild pregnant Robyn has appeared, I am funny” nodding my head smiling “if you were going to be high as fuck you shouldn’t have bothered, you’re not even high. You’re just fucking out of it” licking my lips still cackling to myself “well kick me back out, I don’t mind? You like that shit anyways; I think you should go Chris you said? Well! I am here, what do you want, oh and congratulations on the thing” I pointed at her stomach “thing?” Robyn is not impressed “you drinking? We are drinking, let’s get drunk. Remember” walking slowly, I don’t want to walk fast because I will end up breaking my ass on the ground. Robyn hit my hand before I touched her nose “we don’t talk when we sober, I remember” walking off, I know she got booze here “you got drink! Come on!” I will find it myself.

I laughed as a little bit of wine spilt on the side counter “ooppss” laughing looking behind me “you ain’t see that” I spoke to the statue “I don’t even like wine, but we are celebrating Rihanna, Roc Nations queen. The island queen” grabbing the glass turning around “woah!” I near fell, that was too quick “I am used to the face Robyn, unimpressed. Everyone is unimpressed but Drake, the fucking Jew got you knocked up. Pussy wasn’t too dry huh?” sipping the win “urgh! Nope, that is nasty. But I am happy for you, because you wanted that, but you didn’t need to fuck me, you were fucking him. But to Rihanna and Drake the perfect fucking parents, is that what you wanted me for?” I am unsure at what she wants, why she is wanting me here “you’re an actual mess Chris, I think maybe you need to just go and come back when you’re not like this?” placing the glass down “I can’t, I will come back again like this. I, I can’t see you like normal me, we don’t talk when we sober Rihanna!” I shouted, “you are holding onto every word I said, stop being petty” I sniggered, she really telling me what to do “you’re pregnant, what do you want from me!” throwing my arms in the air “Drake won! I lost, now what?” walking to Robyn slowly “I am not a fucking prize Chris, just relax. It’s not even that bad” she said “liar! You are a born face liar, come on. You everyone prize, Drake fucking got it! He got it all, and now this. Fucking luck” Robyn pushed at my chest “shut the fuck up, he is not the fucking father!” Robyn shouted “oh” I laughed “another drunken sex talk then!?” Robyn mean mugged me “you think like every man does of me! I fucked you Chris! I had sex with you! You were the only fucking nigga I had sex with and got pregnant, you are the fucking father, not fucking Drake!” Robyn pointed at my chest, I stumbled feeling the blood drain from me staring at her. Feeling dizzy with myself and stumbled back “Chris, hey!” that was the last thing I heard before I blacked out.

Staring at Chris on the floor, I did not expect such a reaction, but he was being erratic. Grabbing the pillow from the couch and making my way back to him “Chris” slowly getting on my knees at the side of him, I didn’t want him to hurt his head “Christopher” lifting his head him, placing the pillow behind his head, he is breathing. Touching his face “Chris” he groaned out, scrunching his face up as he did “don’t get up too quick, are you ok?” looking down at him, his eyes bulged out at me, he is confused “just lay there for a moment, it’s ok” getting up from the floor, I need a little peace from his mouth. I was losing the will to live hearing him rant on, I am a little hurt by some of the things he said that is why I had to just say it, he was acting like I am a whore and that I let any nigga fuck me, he judge me and I just snapped. Chris is going to give me heartburn now, my poor baby is just thinking what the fuck is happening. Grabbing my water bottle from the side, this is the most peace I have had all day. It’s been dramatic because of everything happening, I can hear him shuffle on the floor. Turning around as I drank from the water bottle, he is still a little shaky, but he wants to get up he can. I didn’t expect that at all, I did not think he would faint but I don’t know what drugs he’s had but they really did a number on him “you can sit if you want” I pointed at the couch “you said something, what did you say?” nodding my head “that I had sex with you, that was it. I found out I am pregnant, hi” Chris rubbed the back of his head “I need to smoke” he turned back around, he is shocked, and I don’t blame him.

I had to check on him, I didn’t want Chris to be out there fainting again, but he isn’t, he is just pacing and smoking but the knock has stopped him acting a whole ass to me. I should have kicked him out but it’s Chris, I know him, and he is hurt that I threw him out of the bedroom like what was we supposed to do after we had sex, cuddle. Hearing the door close, this is round two, this will be fun. Chris has come back with a whole new persona “so you are telling that the baby is mine?” nodding my head “you were the last person I had sex with Chris” which he was “we wore a condom, I mean I fucking remember that, you put that on me, well you checked it anyways. How can that be mine?” he is really questioning me “you wouldn’t be the perfect candidate to have a baby with, I have lasted this long without getting pregnant but look at that, now I am. I cried when I found out, then I cried to think it was you” Chris pulled a face at me “well if you told me, then I would have gave my blessing to get rid of it. You think I want a baby with you, the same woman to tell me to go. You used me! You fucking used me for a baby, used me for sex. You think I am stupid” rolling my eyes “you think I want you in my fucking life, you think you are so fucking hard done by because I told you to go, what did you want! To fucking hug you, you dogged me out with Kae, you made me look fucking stupid and I had to leave your ass, don’t fucking start with me, you did worse than me. I was so sick and upset when I had to leave you because you didn’t leave that fucking bitch! And you are crying to me about making you go, trust me Chris you are the last nigga I want in my life!” why is he making this such a fucking argument “you should be glad I am even telling you this, I don’t need you. I am telling you to give you a chance to be a father, I mean what was I thinking” I laughed turning away from him, what was I thinking.

I don’t think this heartache was worth it “well I assumed it was Drake’ baby because you are so far up his ass, and to be honest I don’t remember it. You have your team of people that you love so much, you chose them over me” he is starting again “over you! Are you kidding me!? I was busy on that fucking tour and you couldn’t stay faithful because you had that bitch on the side, it was done. You were the one running to me in New York, I chose you at that point! I chose you and you fucked it up” I pointed at him, I am fucking raging now “you had me Chris, you had me. Just that you lost me and yet again your sorry ass can’t even apologise after all this, you right. The reason we can’t speak being sober because of this! I still have your fucking heart and you know it Chris, why the fuck are you making this so hard” I need to relax “because you are dead ass wrong, you about to have the baby what you want me to do now?” sitting down on the couch “thank god you’re not a fucking doctor, my god. Talking about I am about to have it, I am giving you a motherfucking chance to be a dad now! What did you want me to do? Run to you and be one of your many baby mothers which I am but nobody knows” Chris sniggered “welcome to the circus!” he said with his arms in the air, I hate him.

Chris and I are quiet now, I rather be quiet with each other because this is not working out already, he doesn’t let go and I can’t be bothered anymore but I need him to go now if he doesn’t care “you’re either in or out” clasping my hands together “I am not shouting at you, we have too much past to argue on but you’re either in this or you can go and pretend like this never happened, I can raise the baby alone but I am not chasing you Chris, I am not doing that. You leave from that door then my door is closed from you and you just stay away, that will include Mel. You’re in this then we can work together but you’re in this on my terms” I just want him to answer and fucking go because it’s just petty back and forth now “I will take you to court, do what you like. I will take you to court, my terms. Just because you’re Rihanna you are talking my terms, I will get the rights to my child!” he is just pressing me today, licking my lips laughing shaking my head “take me to court to do what boo boo the fool?” now he has triggered me “what? So your mother can take care of it huh?” getting up from the couch “tell me Chris, tell where the fuck are your kids! You want to start let’s start. Royalty, your mother looks after, the boy is in Germany. You! Fucking take drugs, you have whore parties at your home, you have not a fucking clue. You know what you will gain out of it? A fucking clown hat, you don’t know a single fucking clue on how to be a father, what is your daughter’ favourite fucking toy? What does your son love so much. I have been watching you Chris, just like you said you watch me sometimes but since I have been pregnant I have done nothing but watch you, I bet you haven’t even changed a diaper. You half ass dad, your mother has that girl constantly, you know what I see in that house of yours!? Loneliness with random girls that can’t fill that void I left. You don’t feel a thing when you don’t see your kids, you have a title of being a father, that is it. I am not, and I am telling you now. I won’t have no half assed father in my child’ life, I am not having this. I had it with my own father! I won’t have what you are now to those kids! If you was a good dad then you wouldn’t be what you are now, a fucking mess. Yes, I am judging you, come for me Chris because I will fight for my baby. Whatever comes out of you mouth is non void because you can’t defend your actions, it speaks volumes to me that you came to me like this, you are still that man I met again in twenty twelve. Fatherhood hasn’t changed you, just gave you a collection. I am not going to kiss your ass in this, you think now. Because you are going to play by my rules until I know you can act right, and you know what? Your mother should have done this a long time with you. I will not have Joyce looking after my child, period. What do you honestly got going for you? A dead end life with a bunch of fools, I am sick of it. I don’t need your shit when I am pregnant, I don’t need it. I am going to pee, you do as you please. If you go then shut the door on your way out but this door won’t be open again” walking off to go and pee, I need it after all the commotion of Chris.

I feel like a bitch, I didn’t want to bring up his kids. That is not my issue but his cocky ass smiling like he is taking me to court, for what exactly. I am going to protect my baby whether he wants it or not, I will fuck anyone up when it comes to my baby. I feel awful but he just pushed it, I know I have upset him because he didn’t say a word to me at all but he doesn’t know anything about his kids, you can tell he don’t he has the fucking title and that is it. I have been hiding in the bathroom, I think in a way I don’t want to see he left because then everyone is riding on he would be there, but this Chris that is delving in deep drugs, I don’t know him “fuck it” I said to myself, I just need to face the music, if he has gone then I guess it’s just me and my baby. Walking back into the room, he is here then but he got up from the couch ever so quickly “I need to think” he said in a much calmer tone “about?” I questioned, staring at his face he is teary eyed and I feel bad “I uhm, I want to come back less high” he put his head down “I just need a moment, if I can come back if not then I will have to just, I don’t know”  he shrugged, he wants to cry “I will be back in the morning” he sniffled “I won’t tell anyone about what was said, I just need to think yeah?” I want to say no but I agreed, it’s been a lot and a lot has been said between us both, we have hurt each other but I think may have hurt him the most “I just need to gather myself, I will be back” he moved back a little “ok” I breathed out, watching him walk off “see you in the morning then” I added but he didn’t say anything back, he just was wiping his face as he left.

[blessedthot]

Otome in the devildom

hello! this is a chp from my fic on ao3, hi my name is MC i have a dnace battle tomorrow (long ass name i know), i hope you enjoy!

________________________________________________________________

The Devildom. How did you end up in this situation? Who knows. (I know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°))

It was your first day at RAD, and after returning to the HOL (House Of Lamentation was too long of a word for your lazy ass) (@ narrator can you stfu), you were sat in your room, blankly staring at your ceiling. You didn’t have any tasks, and you had finished reading the parts your teacher had asked you to. And now? You were bored. You might have appreciated the boredom, especially after so many impossible things had happened. (getting kidnapped by hot demons? It’s more likely to happen than you think)

So now what? Miel was busy. You weren’t close to any of the demons here. (yet ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)) What must a girl do to get rid of this boredom and stop her mind from wandering to dark places that would most likely cause another mental breakdown? (can we get an F in the chat)

“Who knew living with demons would be so boring.” You muttered to yourself. Suddenly, your phone (you refused to call it a DDD because that’s dumb) beeped, signaling a text.

Levi: hey normie

Levi: are you free rn

Leviathan? Why would he be texting you? He hadn’t even introduced himself at breakfast that morning. Miel was the one who told you his name. You stared at your phone bewildered, thinking before typing out a response.

Me: yeah

Me: why ??

Levi: there’s this new game I have

Levi: so u better come over fast

Huh. That’s surprising. You hadn’t expected him of all the demons you’d met to invite you over. He seemed like a person who…disliked, social interaction. And for him to invite you to his room? Suspicious. What if this was a trap? What if he wanted to steal your soul? (if only you had one lmao) (@ narrator can you stfu x2)

Well, at least you wouldn’t be bored anymore. However, there was one problem. Your hand-eye coordination. Or rather, the lack there-of. But you weren’t gonna tell a hot demon that you sucked ass at video games because that’s totally not cool! First impressions are important. Must appeal to the demon, or he might eat you.

Me: ok chile but like,, why do I have to be there ??

Hopefully, he’d think you were too dumb and not ask you to play something that could embarrass you. Hopefully.

Levi: the game needs two players

Well shit. You tried to worm your way out by pretending not to know anything, now he probably just thinks you’re dumb and not good at reading social cues. (I mean, where’s the lie-) (@ narrator why must you hurt MC so)

Me: oh

Me: um,, I suck ass at games tho,,

You really did. Anything other than Mario Kart, and you’d break the game. You’d even managed to fail at Animal Crossing. Animal. Crossing.

Levi: even a normie like you can play this game

Levi: so you better come over fast!

Levi: the door’s unlocked

Levi: but it won’t be for long

That’s…ominous.

Me: is that a threat

Me: hello ??

You know what, never mind, he was probably just dicking with you anyways. And besides, your bed was warm. And nice. And you didn’t want to get up. And you-

Levi: be faster !!!!!!!!!

Levi: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-better get going before you die on your second fucking day in demonville.

You arrive at his room pretty quick, being on the same floor was an advantage. You knock once before letting yourself in.

You’re stunned. His room was…beautiful. Bathed in a soft blue light, the most striking feature of his room was the giant aquarium. Your lips parted in wonder as wide eyes took in your surroundings. How rich exactly are these hoes, you grumbled to yourself as you tried to mentally calculate the money it might cost you to have a room like this back at home. So maybe selling about, both your kidneys, an appendix, and maybe your uterus?

“Finally! Took you long enough.” Leviathan’s voice shakes you out of your quickly morbid-turning thoughts.

“Sorry.”

“Ah, whatever. You’re here.”

He was sat in front of his TV, game console plugged in and ready to play. A pink glow from the screen in front of him illuminated his face. Damn, why are all of them so hot, you thought with a small sob. (horny 100)

“Your room is really pretty.”

“Oh. Um. T-thanks.”

You walked over to where he was sat on the floor, plopping down beside him. Well, not too close, because your brain would go ???  if you were too close to a pretty person. Unless you wanted to short-circuit when you played whatever you were going to play, it was in the best interests for your heart and brain to leave at least one bible distance between the two of you. Leave room for Jesus.

It was silent for a while, with both of you staring at the floor before you decided you might explode if this suffocating silence continued.

“So, what are we playing?” you asked, turning to him.

“Devilish Messenger! It’s a dating simulator where you get kidnapped by demons and you have to plan a party to be free again! It’s a really popular game and,” his eyes light up as he continues to ramble about the game. You on the other hand, are lost in your thoughts.

That sounded fun. But wait a minute. The plot of the game sounded awfully familiar…

Suddenly your eyes widened.

“FUCK!”

The demon next to you jumps 50 feet away from your now crumbling form.

“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh shit, how many chatrooms have I fucking missed, I don’t have the hourglasses for this, oh god I’m gonna get a bad ending-” you ramble as you realize you hadn’t loaded a save file to protect your progress in the game you were playing in the human world. (can we get an F in the chat x2)

Levi watches on, slightly terrified but also a bit…curious.

You were a strange human. He had been observing you since your arrival. As scared as you were to be here, you didn’t seem to close off to them. You probably also had no self-preservation instincts, considering you had agreed to come to his room. All alone. But he didn’t have any intentions of hurting you. Quite the opposite in fact. Ever since you’d arrived, he had felt a strong urge to protect you. To…get closer to you. (sO BABY PULL ME CLOSER IN THE BACKSEAT OF YOUR-) (@ narrator can you stfu x3)

“-viathan? Leviathan!”

“Huh? W-what is it normie?”

“Can I download Mystic Messenger on my…uh…” Shit, what was it called again?

“DDD! Right! DDD. Can I download Mystic Messenger on my DDD?”

…

…Mystic Messenger?

[artisticestheticreads]

Summertime Magic (III)

A/N: Okay, so I was in the middle of writing part two when I had the idea for this one. Yes, I write weird as hell but hey. In this chapter, we will see N’Jadaka and Y/N’s friendship actually grow a lot more.

WARNING: Contains alcohol use, drug use and so much more (GUARDS YA LOINS).

*Gif down below was made by me. So please don’t take credit. Thanks, loves*

SONG RECOMMENDATION: FORTUNATE by Maxwell

  It was the day of the party when Y/N was in her closet looking at what to wear. She had plenty of clothes but none felt “90′s” enough so she FaceTimed her best friend; her momma. “Hey, momma’s baby. How ya doing”, she asked with a huge smile on her face. Y/N loved her momma so much, she was her heart and soul. Since Y/N was the oldest, they were always very, very close. “I’m good, ma. I need your expertise really quick. Was ya busy?”

“Honey, I am never busy when it comes to you. Whatcha need”, her mom leaned up to the screen to get a better look at her beautiful daughter. “Ok, so I’m going to a party tonight. 90′s theme to be exact. We both know that all the girl are gonna have extensions down to they booty with bamboos and all but I wanna be different. What do you suggest?” Her momma chuckled as she thought of the fashion back then, bringing up old memories. “Well, baby. When I was growing up, I was very fond of the big ol hoop earrings that you can get at the beauty supply, clear gloss with a nude lip liner, mascara and beauty mark right on the right side of my mouth with a dark eyeliner. Now, with clothes, ya momma always stayed fly. I used to steal ya dads varsity jacket when he played football at Locke High with some either tight but baggy mom jeans, a bralette, and boots or a baggy jersey with some black bike shorts with scrunched up socks and sneaks.”

  Y/N smiled at her mother as she continued with her advice. Soon, she was getting ready to go in her flared red bottoms and white tank with her toes in Nike slides. She arrived at the Thrift store as soon as it opened and went over to the men’s section; they just seemed to fit better and was way more stylish. She found an old oversized red school baseball with the number 93 on it. She smiled as she made her way to the bralette section. N'Jadaka is gonna love this, she thought as her hand reached for a black bralette (which had plenty of lace) big enough for her breast. She spent only twelve dollars on everything and made her way back home to shower and get ready. 

  Once she was done, she matched her fit with some high waist shorts, knee-high sock, and her bright red combat boots. Her hair was in a high pony with beads on a few locs and a red bandana wrapped around by her slayed edges. She was dancing to “Don’t Walk Away” by Jade on the Apple Music’ 90′s playlist when she got a call. “Hey, N’Jadaka”, she said with a smile and he responded. “Wassup, little one. I’m on my way now so be ready.” She rolled her eyes and as if he can see here, he said “you better stop rolling those pretty eyes of yours before they get stuck. Now, I’m around the corner. Open the door.”

“Say please”.

“Please open the door”, he said with a chuckle. She went over to the window to watch him park and waited for him to knock. Once he did, she opened the door and Y/N couldn’t help but smile. Erik was in a black buttondown Dickie shirt with a bright white crew neck shirt underneath, dark blue jeans, black Adidas Superstars with the white lines and a chunky, gold chin with diamonds throughout it and a black cap on his belt loop that had Oakland in white cursive. “Well, well. You look good,” Y/N said as he gave her a side hug. “Thank you, thank you. I’m my favorite rap group.” She folded her arms and said “NWA. Well, hopefully, you ain’t Dre because I ain’t tryna get my ass beat by some nigga.” N’Jadaka stepped back chuckling. “Dammmnnnn, you just beating my nigga, Dre though, huh?”

“Not like he beat that singer but eh.” She locked her door before they got to his car; he opened the door for her and they were on their way. She watched him drive as Snoop Dogg playing in the background. He leaned with his left hand on the wheel and the right on the armrest. His lips licked, so soft and kissable. He was handsome when they met at the store but with a nice trimmed beard and locks all done, he looked like a freaking dream. “So, Y/N, what ya got a taste for? The party is in Inglewood by Century. I’ll pay.”

“Honestly, I'm not hungry. We can just get frozen yogurt at Yougurtland”, she lied looking at the door. She didn’t eat at all that day because 1) she was nervous as hell about being at a party with the most attractive man and 2) she liked how flat her tummy was when she didn’t eat. Her stomach was still fluffy but it looked slimmer. N’Jadaka said “little one, we getting real food. Especially if there is gonna be alcohol there. Frozen yogurt or whatever isn’t going to do anything for no damn body.” Y/N looked over at him to see he was looking back at her. “I’m serious. Pick something.”

“How about Mexican food? I know there is a Chile Verde around there.” He smiled and said “that's more like it. I can go for a big ass burrito anyways. Carne Asada with everything and a large drink. When I go there, I asked for the onions grilled, meat well done and the cheese gotta be on point.” As he was talking, a sound got his attention. He looked to Y/N who had her stomach over her stomach. As she felt embarrassed, she looked straight and heard a small chuckle when she heard it again but not from her end. “I guess I made us even more hungry, huh?” She laughed at them as he did the same. “You did.”

   Soon, they arrived in the parking lot and he opened the door for her to the restaurant. “Hello, welcome. How can I help you, sir” the young lady behind the register asked with a smile. “Yeah, can we get two Carne Asada burritos with everything? Then, I wanna add chips and guac and salsa and two large iced teas.” As he was talking looking at the menu, Y/N looked up too but when she looked at the cashier, the woman looked up and down at her with a brow raised. When Y/N cleared her throat and looked away, N’Jadaka looked at her and asked “are you okay”; she nodded and walked into a nearby booth. He paid the food and made his way, seating across from her. He noticed Y/N buttoning her top. 

    “Y/N, wassup? Why you fixing ya clothes?” He got no answer until he felt someone looking at their table. In his peripheral vision, he saw a dirty look from the woman who helped them. His eyes stayed on Y/N as he went to sit on her side. She looked at him as he wrapped his long toned arm around her neck slowly. “Y/N, don’t tell me you fixing ya shit because of the broad.” She tried to look down but he placed his finger on her chin. He held her cheek while he leaned into her ear to whisper. “I want you to look at her the whole time”. Y/N’s eyes lied on the cashier who was watching. “Don’t let that bitch make you feel bad about yourself, aight? She just mad she don’t look like you and can never look like you if she tried. She looks like she doesn’t even take care of herself. Her hair oily as fuck, skin ashy, and her lips looking like before Kylie.” She giggled in his ear while still watching the woman.

   “Now, when you are with me, I don’t wanna see any shit like this again, okay,” he said finally looking back to her face. She grinned with a nod and he said: “aight, lemme get our food”. He kissed her forehead and got up. When he looked back, she smiled but noticed a heavier older woman coming out. She saw N’Jadaka pointing back at her and the older woman looking at her cashier with folded arms. The cashier held her hands in front of her and tried to look sympathetic. The older woman pointed at the employee then to the back once N’Jadaka made his way over. “Hey, little one. Here we go” he said as he passed her food. He started eating but she just watched him, sipping her drink. “What happened up there”, she asked.

 He wiped his mouth and finished chewing, looking into her face. “Well, let’s just say when someone is fucking with my girl, I gotta check they ass”, he went back to eating and sipping his drink after he saw her smile and finally starting to eat. Once they were done, they stood to put their trash away when he noticed the cashier and the manager approaching them. “Excuse me, young lady. I am Gloria Gonzalez, the manager here and I would like to apologize for my employee’s behavior. It was very uncalled for.” N’Jadaka looked at her and Y/N said: “thank you, ma’am.” Gloria looked to her cashier with folded arms and said: “Selena, go on.” The employee said “I am very sorry for my behavior. I should be ashamed of myself.” The apology was very forced it was pathetic. 

  Gloria handed the money that N’Jadaka paid with and said “again, we apologize and your meal is on us.” N’Jadaka nodded, placing the money in his pocket and wrapped his arm around Y/N’s neck as they walked out. Once they got in the car, he started it saying “I told you. I keep muthafuckas in check.” She smiled and he did the same.

[This is How We Do It by Montell Jordans plays loudly in background]

   They finally arrived at the dark shaded house. There was plenty of people walking down to it in flashy 90′s clothing, cars parked everywhere and the silhouettes in the window indicated the party was jumping. N’Jadaka parked, let her out and wrapped his arm around her neck as they made their way. He pulled out his phone as they got to the door and as soon as he placed it back in his pocket, a man with the same fit as his came to the door. “Aye, my nigga here” Jerald gave him dap as his other hand was occupied with a red solo cup. “Wassup, J. This is Y/N.Y/N, this is my nigga, Jerald.” Jerald smiled at her and said “welcome, welcome to my casa, fellow negroes.” She laughed and said, “it’s nice to meet you.”

“Come in, y’all. My girl in the kitchen of course”, he said leading the way. The crowd was so thick but that was no match for N’Jadaka. When they got to the kitchen, there was a small crowd around a ton of food and drinks. There was a woman with a jet black pixie hair, a rainbow-striped crop top, mom jeans and matching converse serving drinks. Her skin was a caramel tone and her eyes were a jaded green. “Sheila Baby”, N’Jadaka said and she looked up with a huge smile. “N’Jadaka”, she yelled with excitement. The group went over and he hugged her with one arm still attached to Y/N. “Sheila, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is my baby sister Sheila. We went to school and the navy together”. Sheila pointed to her with a smile “you did, J’s hair?” Y/N nodded and Sheila put her hand up for a high five; Y/N gave her one. “Girl, you done blessed this nigga’s hair. He was walking around like a premature wet mop.” Jerald choked on his drink and coughed with a laugh. 

  N’Jadaka looked at her with a death stare and said: “don’t be mad at me because you look like a Nia Long reject.” She chuckled and said “alright Nappy with Attitude, don’t get roasted on in here. I’ll embarrass you in front of baby girl here.” N’Jadaka placed both hands in front of him and said “bet.” Jerald passed Y/N a cold cup of Jack and Coke as they watched. Sheila sipped her drink and started. “My nigga, don’t let me talk about how you looked before you removed your scars. This nigga looked like a vibrator after someone ate some Taco Bell.”  Jerald started dying laughing then Y/N sipped her drink with a smile because of Jerald’s contagious laugh. “Aight aight, don’t lemme get on that neck. Why the fuck did you rip ya pubs off to glue it on the nape of your neck?” This time Jerald and Y/N laughed. Sheila smiled with a nod and said “aight, but why you look like a fake ass Michael B. Jordan? He looks like Melrose Ave while you look like Slauson Swap Meet.” 

“Yooooo, I look way better that nigga. But you just mad because you look like Halle M. Berry. But the M don’t stand for Maria. Ya name would be Halle Moldy Ass Berry.” Jerry threw his white bandana as they all laughed and Sheila was the main one. “You win, big dawg. You win”, she said wiping her tears away. He took a bow and heard “Too Close” by Next playing. He looked at Y/N who was bopping her and drinking. He held his hand out getting her attention. “C’mon, you know you wanna”, he gave her cup to Sheila and they made their way to the floor. He danced backward as she tried to pull out from his grip. “C’mon, I don’t like dancing.” He spun her in a circle with both hands in the air. He stepped side to side and said “don’t lie to me, woman. Ya better shake those hips. I know you can.”

  She rolled her eyes and before she moved to the beat, followed by her feet. He watched her with a smile on his face and pulled her by her jersey to him. She giggled as she play swatted him away. The night was full of good, music and people. In the middle of the party, Y/N was in the kitchen talking to Sheila about setting an appointment when all the other ladies tried to squeeze in while she sipped more drinks. N’Jadaka was outside at the patio table occasionally looking in as his friends played spades. “BOOM, give. Me. Ma. Monaaaaaayyyyyyyy”, said Marcus. Jerald rolled up another blunt and whistled to N’Jadaka to get his attention. “Bruh, she good in there. Came hit this.”

“Pause”, said Trevon who looked at his new hand of cards and the fellas laughed. N’Jadaka took the blunt and lit it, taking a long hit. “Enjoy it, bruh. It’s yours.” N’Jadaka let the smoke out through his nose looking back at Y/N. “JD, stop sweating the girl. She having fun in there with all them females. Ya acting like y’all fucking.” N’Jadaka eyes went to Trevon and he said “Trey, I barely know the girl so why would we fuck. She cool and all-”

“Then, why you watching her like you her damn daddy”, Marcus asked sipping from his drink. “Because she around a bunch of niggas she don’t know. Tryna make sure she safe”, N’Jadaka said before taking another hit. Jerald looked at his best friend then to the others. “JD is right. He brought her here and we all know how he gets. Let the nigga be”, he said. N’Jadaka nodded and looked back at to see she was by the door. “Hey, N’Jadaka. When you coming back in? I kinda feel like dancing again.”

“Thought you don't dance didn’t like dancin’“, he said and she stated with a smile, “I don’t” before going back in. N’Jadaka stood and made his way back in and took Y/N’s hand into his. As the music faded into another, he held her arm around his neck. N’Jadaka placed his right arm around her waist as she placed her arms around his neck. He pulled her closer to him as the sound of Maxwell’s Fortunate played. He looked in her eyes as she smiled up at him. They rocked side to side slowly, in silent. He sipped from his red solo cup and handed it to her so she can have a taste. She finally was getting used to being out and around him. 

   Her left hand reached his to back while his hand went to her behind softly. She looked up at him but his eyes were closed as he let the song take him away. She noticed his lips moving to the words of the song. They were so soft looking. Her eyes traveled down his chest, abs and to his feet. Damn, he is beautiful, she thought to herself. She felt his hand cuffing her behind lightly resulting her eyes to get low. The way his hand held her close to his pelvis made her feel all warm inside. She looked up to him but by the time she did, his eyes were already watching hers. His brow was raised up and a smirk on his face. 

  “Y/N, you aight”, he questioned. She nodded with a smile and uttered “I’m good. Just, uh, a little tired.” He nodded and went over to the kitchen with her hand in his, getting Sheila’s attention. “Sheila Baby, we gonna head outta here. Thanks for having us.” She smiled and said “bwoy, you know y’all are always welcomed. Here y’all go. I packed a ton of food for y’all to go with some of my sweet potato pie.” He hugged her and took the bag. “That food is for both of y’all, J. Don’t be a Fatty Mc Fatty and eat up all the food.”

“Oh hush. Love you girl”, he kissed her cheek and Y/N gave her a hug before they walked out. He drove as she watched the streetlights pass by. They lit against the dark sky and so did the tall buildings. “Thanks for coming with me. I hope you had fun”, he mentioned with his left hand on the steering wheel. “Don’t mention it. I did have fun.” 

“So, In ‘N’Out still opened? Want a burger” he asked and she just nodded. “Y/N, you a grown woman who needs to use her big girl words. I need words.” She rolled her eyes and articulated “yes, I would love to partake in a cheeseburger meal, dear sir.” He side-eyed her with a smirk and said “jackass” making her laugh. They made their way to the restaurant, order two well-done double-double meals with chocolate milkshakes and ate in the parking lot. They talked for what it seemed for hours and before you know it, she had fallen asleep. 

   She felt the car stop and a tap on her thigh. When she opened her eyes, she looked around then to N’Jadaka’s smile. “Hey, you’re home. Lemme walk you to your door”, he said before hopping out. Y/N watched as he came over to open her door. He got to the door, opening it and taking her hand as she held their leftovers. “I’m glad you had fun tonight, little one. You made it not so borin’”, he said and she grinned. “Daka, that party wasn’t boring at all”, she added but didn’t get a response. “Y/N, what did you just call me”, he asked with a curious brow. “Oh, my bad. I called you, Daka. I did-”

   “Nah, I’m feelin’ in. Say it again for me”, he stepped closer to her making Y/N look up to his eyes with her big brown ones. “Daka, I called you Daka”, she responded in a timid tone. He held her chin up and said “got a nice ring to it. Doesn’t it?” She blushed at his touch and said: “yeah, it does.” She can feel his thumb on her chin, softly rubbing back to forth. “You need a nickname, too. Hm, let’s see. How about...”, he paused and looked down at her waiting eyes. “With f a face and eyes like this, I would call you baby girl. What you think?” She smiled and said “I like it. It’s sweet.” They stood for what it was like hours, his hand still her chin. He gently pulled her face forward as she to herself. Oh my God. Is he about to kiss me? She bit her lip, closed her eyes but what happened next surprised her; he only kissed her forehead. 

   She opened her eyes as saw that he was looking right at her. “You good”, he asked and replied, “yeah, just tired.” N’Jadaka looked around then back at her. “Ok, well Ima let go ahead and sleep but I’m gonna text you when I get home”, he said wrapping his arms around her for a close hug. When they separated and he started walking to his car, she looked down at the bag. “Daka, what? You forget ya left food.” He turned to her and said “keep it in the fridge for me. We can eat that for dinner tomorrow.”

“What if I was busy, Daka”, she said with her arms to the side. He reached the driver side of his car with his brow raised and said: “you not.” She placed her tongue inside her right cheek with a smile. “Mhm, I thought not. I’ll be here at 6:30, I’ll bring some drinks and shit. I’ll see ya tomorrow, baby girl.” He gave her a wink that made Y/N’s heart smiled and stomach flutter. He got into his car and watched her go in but she watched him pull out his phone; her phone rung and she answered. “Yes?”

“Stop watching me and take ya ass to bed.”

  She laughed and hung up, ready for what tomorrow had planned.

~

TBH, this was all over the place but the next chapter is on the way

𝒯𝒜𝒢𝒢𝐸𝒟 𝐿𝒪𝒱𝐸𝒮

@muse-of-mbaku

@im5ftbutmythroat66

@chaneajoyyy

@melanin-samii

@theunsweetenedtruth

@doux-ciel

@unicornluvin8765

@vikkidc

@wakandantings

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@madamslayyy

@yoyolovesbucky

@theogbadbitch

@wakanda-inspired

@bitchacho25

@toniilaney

@wakandascrystal

[lady-olive-oil]

Chapter 1

Prelude || Characters || Chapter 1

{A/N: First chapter of a new series for the new year! Let’s go! Let me know what you think and if you want to be apart of the tag squad! Huge thanks to my sis Maddie, she’s a character in this one by the name of Natasha}

Squad: @maddiestundentwritergaines

Word Count: 1,295

Warnings: none

Xhosa Translations; (loosely)

‘Ndifungela ndiya kukubetha ngolunye usuku

- I swear I’m going to hit you one day

———

Junior year. Near the final stretch for Nefertiti and her crew. It’s took some time to get here but, with a village she made it through. Getting a degree has always been at the top of her list, alongside becoming a Delta. Becoming a Delta meant that you held yourself to a high standard, a higher caliber of life and was apart of the Divine Nine. This second semester in particular, moving into a better part of the sorority house was the perfect way to start off the year. A room fit for an upcoming big sister.

With some old 80’s and 90’s jams, playing in the background, while sorting the boxes all out, Nefe was just in her element. With the help of her roomie Natasha, fellow Delta herself, she couldn’t help but love the new vibe she felt from Nefe.

“Honey, Chile. I don’t know what got into you, but I’m loving this new attitude of yours. It’s new and vibrant, I wonder what’s gotten into you?”

Natasha, or Nattie, has always been Nefe’s voice of reason along with the party queen. Kind of a contradiction isn’t it? Well that’s how she is: voice of reason and party queen.

“Well what got into me was Sean. Don’t tell M’Baku cause he’ll flip his shit.” A chuckle left her full lips as she opened the box of her room decorations, along with Southern University pennants.

“You mean Mr. Wakanda? Something about him just screams seduction. Why aren’t you with him? Sean isn’t what you need Nefe.”

Nattie did always have a way with words. Maybe she was onto something. But Nefe never really thought of M’Baku that way, and he didn’t think of her that way. Did he?

“Oh so Mr. Wakanda, will have something to say huh?” The infamous thick voice broke the silence, causing the girls to scream.

“Jesus M’Baku! Don’t do that. Ndifungela ndiya kukubetha ngolunye usuku”

To say he wasn’t laughing is an understatement. Along with teaching Nefe Xhosa, which clearly stuck with her like gorilla glue on a boot.

“Your pronunciations are getting better, intyatyambo. That’s flower by the way.”

Sitting on the loveseat by the bay window, giving his ever so sweet smile. He never ceased to amaze them. Okoye and Nakia were in their rooms but knew M’Baku came to visit Nefe. They’d tease her about it occasionally.

“Gee. Thanks great gorilla. I’m sure your home country will be proud.”

The teasing tone in her voice caused him to chuckle and Nattie to shake her head and help finish decorating.

“My parents miss me yes. But they’ll be visiting on parents day in September, along with me going home with you and your family. It’s tradition.”

He shrugged as he grabbed a Velcro command strip to hang up a framed picture. A family portrait that meant the world to Nefertiti. That’s one of the things he loves about her, how family oriented she is.

“Yeah yeah. Ok you two, the jams are on and we all have class in an hour. Gotta start junior year off right, right? So sister Queen Nefertiti, turn up the jams.”

Nattie grabbed another box, as Nefe turned up the song on her Logitech Clock radio, that was currently charging her phone. Prompting M’Baku to either join in or record it.

“I got all this love, waiting just for you I just got to know, that your love is true. Can't keep running boy, in and out my life. Want to be your girl, not cause the mood is right.”

Nefe lip synced into her hair brush, swaying her hips to the beat and making her way to her closet. Pointing to Nattie, and she gladly took the next verse.

“If I let you come inside Tomorrow will you hide? Will you be there for me? When I need someone to hold Baby don't misunderstand. I do want you for my man, I just need a little time, Before I invest my love”

Moments like these were what the group was looking forward to. The late night studying groups, sleepover, Greek recruitment days, parties and most of all graduation coming soon. It was gonna be a grand year.

M’Baku was taping them the whole time and was enjoying being back at SU with his friends. He knew he had to get the group together sooner or later to catch up. But for now he’d settle for this with two of his favorite girls.

“Don't walk away boy, My love won't hurt you. Don't walk away boy, I'll be right there for you!”

The girls sung in unison as they danced around in complete bliss and comfort. The two girls fell on top of a huge bean bag chair, and started laughing The three of them finished decorating and admired their work, ready to take on the year.

The rest of the day was filled with classes, introducing new students to the class; ye old syllabus and requirements to uphold. The old mumbo jumbo. But something in music theory threw Nefertiti off her rocker.

Melanie Davis was her name, being Nefe’s rival was her game. They’ve had it out for each other since high school. Even the delta house denied her application sophomore year, because of how she presented herself. Yet the AKA’s welcomes her greatly.

Sitting next to M’Baku on his left, she batted her falsies at him and smiled.

“So M’Baku, how was your summer? You should’ve went to Jamaica with me and the girls. We would’ve loved to have you there.”

Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard to Nefe. Her left eye was twitching and Okoye caught it.

“My summer was great Mel. It was good to be home. I’m sorry I couldn’t. Maybe next spring or summer break.”

He did find Melanie attractive. Who wouldn’t? He just let her down gently and she giggled. She made Nefe’s skin crawl.

“Want me to cut her? I’ll cut her for you.” she mouthed at Nefe which cause her to chuckle and shake her head.

“So the homecoming game is coming up. I’ll be cheering for you in the stands. Plus there’s a party afterwards, wanna go with me?”

He was so uncomfortable, and was about to reply till someone stepped in.

“He has plans already, Davis. Stop trying.” Nefe finally spoke up causing everyone around them to laugh.

“Listen here little miss soul sistah. If M’Baku wants to go with another melanin goddess like me, it’s his choice to go.”

Melanie never ceased to get under Nefe’s skin because she knew it bothered her that she could get to M’Baku. After all they did date before, but she ended the relationship because of his friendship with Nefe.

“No you listen here, Mel. He’s obviously uncomfortable with you still. So why don’t you sit ya ass down and chill. Aight?”

Erik always had Nefe’s back. She was like a sister to him. He’s T’Challa cousin and M’Baku frat brother of Omega Psi Phi.

Melanie scoffed and headed out with her little crew, once class was over.

“So y’all want dinner? Popeye’s or is Nakia making jambalaya?” T’Challa, also one of M’Baku’s friends, had asked the group as they headed out the class.

“I’m feelin Popeye’s. Let’s go.”

Once they agreed to Nefe’s statement, they headed that direction. What happened in the music room played again in Nefe’s head. Part of her knew M’Baku still had feelings for Melanie and that somewhat bothered her.

Nah, not somewhat. It fully bothered her to the fullest extent. This was going to be a long year till graduation.

[brattywriters-anonymous]

I Dedicate... IV

7 Days Later

Last weekend was... more than I ever expected. Luke and I spent those two and a half days eating, drinking, and making love. We barely even slept. I never thought I could feel like this again since I broke off my engagement. He was so attentive. So passionate. He felt so damn good, too. Neither one of us wanted it to end. He did invite me to his show tonight. I hope we can do it again this--

“Ahem!” Stassi clears her throat at me, giving me a suspecting look, “Y/N! I needed you to confirm that meeting in 20 minutes! You daydreaming about Godiva aren’t you?” I nod, biting my pen. “I can’t help it!” Stassi looks around then whispers into my cubicle, “Was the dick that good?” I instantly got flashbacks of him, ice, and the blindfold. I shiver at all the thoughts, “Damn girl! It was that good!”

I let out a hard sigh, “It was...everything.” “EVERYTHING!? Bitch. Cancel that meeting. We’re going on lunch.”

--

We decided on Goodfellas for lunch and since that was a couple minutes from work, we have enough time to embellish on my busy weekend. “So tell me everything.”

I carefully thought each event through, “Well.. we tried to get it in in his car--” “That baby benz?” “Yeah.” “Girl that ass is too fat for that!” Stassi taps it, I slap her hand away, “--Anyway, that didn’t work out so we went in the house, he ate me out on my stairs.” My best friend slurps through the remainder of her coke, “Excuse me? He couldn’t even make it to the bed!?” “Girl, he couldn’t even wait to get my clothes off. My bodysuit is in shreds.” She fans herself as I continue, “I damn near passed out from that, he got me to my bed and he blindfolded me...ate me out again, with ice.” Stassi interrupts again, “Oooooh! Girl! He doing some 50 Shades shit on you! Your night was ten times better than mine already!” “Can I continue!?” “Mhm. Gon!” Stassi shoos me to move on.

“We were doing it..and next thing I knew, I felt tears coming down my face.. It was just..all too much. He was fucking me like... like he needed me. Like he couldn’t take another breath without being inside me.” Stassi looks in awe, “Girl...what y’all got is deep. Already. Woo chile. This is tew much for a lunch break sis. We’ll talk more when we off these folks clock.”

--

I arrived home around seven, we had to postpone the meeting until after lunch which dragged on until a quarter till six, which forced me into Atlanta’s shitty traffic jam on 85 North, in which my phone battery died in.

I hopped out of my shower to see a text from Luke

hey, am I still gonna see that beautiful face tonight?

His inquiry brings a silly grin to my face as I reply

front and center.

I drag my feet through my closet to piece an old outfit together just in case Luke wanted to rip through this one. Stassi pulls up in her new whip that she finally bought after being cheap for a year. Of course she has to be ignorant, beeping the horn to let me know she’s outside. I grab my bag, lock up and meet with her brand spanking new beauty. “Stass, this is nice!” She let down her window, “I know bitty! Why you think I’m not bringing it near Cortland Street! Mm Mm! I’ll take Uber to work, thank you!” I fall out laughing, “You right. Those homeless folk would find a way to boost your shit.” “And I’ll have to boost they asses! You looking bomb bestie! Like you ready for some more Luke!” I shove her, “Girl bye! You looking good enough to pull two niggas for the both of us!” Stassi’s fit looked painted on. She paired that with her reflective yeezys and sheer jacket I bought her for her birthday that she begged for.

--

We hike to Center Stage from Atlantic Station where the bouncer already had us on the list to get in. We gain way through the crowd to get as close to the center as possible. As the band finally makes it to the stage, the lights turn to a purple hue that reminds me of the first night I met Luke. He slides across the stage to the mic and starts singing his song, “Drip” 

Feeling on your booty but I'd rather feel your soul (soul) soul Girl I know you ain't Janet but I like you in control (control) (I like you in control, I like you control)

My body jerks at the flashback of his voice,

“You’re safe with me Y/N. I feel you. Let go, stop holding back.”

the thought makes me press my thighs together, still swaying to the music. His eyes find mine as he finishes the song

You too fucking fine to be dealing with some bullshit Girl that pussy's mine I just gotta pick a bone with it

he winks after the line as he repeats the chorus and the crowd goes bananas.

--

The show ended about an hour later, Stass and I stick around until I get a text from him.

I’ll be on my way to your house in a while bae, let me wrap this up here.

“Stass. Lets cop from Xander and you can drop me off at the crib.”

[jaxcns]

y’all know this mans? yuh.. really gets ya thinkin that men might deserve rights after all huh? i mean they dont but it makes ya think! anyway.. i’m urayai ( uri for short ), eighteen, she/her, and from bumfuck nowhere usa over in the est timezone. we livin in a winter wonderland over here rn issa nightmare :) if ya feelin the vibe now then check out my statistics page yuh maybe i went the extra mile MXDDDN! anyway if ya poppin ya p*ssi to nct, love wastin time playin the sims, or are prayin for both taes scalps then smash that heart! we need validation in order to live in this economy laid ease!

basic details

( wong yukhei, cismale, he/him ) — meet jaxon wu, the nineteen year old sophomore at washington state university. i heard that the hedonist is a literature major who spends most of their time either practicing on the soccer field or interning at dorrance publishing two days a week. if you ask around, you’ll find out that the scorpio was born on october 28th, that the last song they listened to was uncomfortable by chase atlantic, and that they currently live in the kappa zeta nu fraternity house. ever since the death of carter hayes though, the only thing anyone can seem to recall when it comes to them is that they used to share a room with him at the frat house.

+ smoke-filled lungs, constellations in his eyes, denim jackets, disappearing acts that rival houdini, heart-shaped boxes, thumb rings, lazy grins, broken promises, and rainy mornings.

full sleeve on his right arm plus a chest piece in progress

ears and nose pierced but he doesnt always rock the nose

emotionally stable? no. financially stable? also no.

on an athletic scholarship for soccer but he loves hockey more so its #emohours

plays soccer, hockey, and baseball

loves the finer things in life but can barely afford the free breadsticks at olive garden ja feel

hes a snake who loves that 5 finger discount

selfish but also too invested in people he cares for

impatient as hell like.. chile

middle child ya he was dealt only the best cards in life

loves space and conspiracy theories #wow so original amirite

gets super obsessive over projects hes def a perfectionist

bisexual / bitter / bilingual

mom is a bank tell and dad is a professor at boston u

not very close to his older brother since hes off gettin his doctorates degree

very close to his little sister tho they’ve always been best friends

enjoys goin on hikes to clear his head

other than writing he also enjoys all other things creative like painting, drawing, sculpting, photography, etc

he attends a weekly art class in the city

he def dabbles in drugs so if ya lookin he can probs hook ya up

he was carters roommate 

ADAMANT — stubborn as shitttttt like fr. once he sets his mind on sumn and believes hes completely right cant be wrong then theres no changin his mind! at all! even if he realizes later that he was wrong he’d rather lower himself into the grave than admit it. he’ll also argue with you til the ends of the earth until the bitch literally dont have vocal chords anymore!

CONFIDENT — if i could’ve picked an alternate label for him then it woulda been the bellwether. he always carries himself with confidence which he gets from wearin nice clothes and accessories plus always bein well groomed ig? like his hair is always done, you’ll never find a speck of dirt on his shoes, that type of shit. even when his hair is messy it was done that way he would never go outside lookin like a wreck so jot that down!

IMPETUOUS — this bitch reckless af! he does things to benefit himself and only himself most of the time without taking into consideration other peoples feelings or how it might impact them. thats not to say that he doesnt regret it after the fact but lbr he normally? doesnt? see: selfish. hes just tryna get ahead tryna get dat coin tryna get him sum gucci slides!

PETULANT — sulky, bad-tempered, etc is jax thru and thru! and he aint afraid to take everyone down with him either. hes def the type to stir up drama ngl but he’ll back it up too and he aint afraid to throw hands! hes been in his fair share of fights and with his shiny new fake id y’all been knew hes been in more than one bar fight with more to come i’m sure!

plot ideas

MUSE — pretty self explanatory i think? this person just ignites fuckin inspiration for him whether it be thru takin pictures of them, writing about them, filmin them, drawin them, etc etc. jax always knows that when hes in a slump he can find them and that shit will come back as quick as flippin on a light switch!

RIDE OR DIE(S) — y’all already know wtf it is! we love those friends who just talk shit with each other, those that’ll go to bat for one another, but also arent afraid to be like “yo step back ur gettin a lil outta line” ja feel? literally gimme all that!

ANGST — i live for anything angsty tbh like im one of those bitches that gets bored when things are goin too well for my chara so i need someone to fuck that shit up fam!

RELATIONSHIPS — im here for it all! im talkin enemies, friends, rommates, party buddies, smokin buddies, fwb, exes, partners in crime, etc etc! im here and ready to snatch em all up!

TEAMMATES — jax plays hockey, soccer, and baseball so if ur chara does too then? uhhhh we def gotta plot cause we could go any way with the teammates thing like imagine teammates who hate each other and purposely try to hurt one another durin practices.. ugh we love pettiness!

ADVENTURE BUDDIES — hiking, goin to abandoned / haunted places, spontaneous road trips, etc! need someone or multiple people who’re down to just drop everything and go. doesnt even matter where tbh they’re just always up for a lil adventure.

SEESAW — lemme be basic for a sec ok just hol on! i rlly want a plot based off of yoongis song seesaw where maybe the two of them were together and at first it was great but then they just fell out for wtvr reason and obvs didnt wanna be together anymore. neither of them wanted to let go tho maybe it was like a comfort thing? so they just kept repeatin their same old shit and actin like everything was cool until one of them finally took the step and ended it just.. ik there’d be angst ik it and i need it!

PARADISE — the new song by chase atlantic! bitch! i felt it in my soul maybe i cried? jax dabbles in literally everything hes truly a mess so havin someone who just checks on him would rip my soul in half? someone who gives him a call randomly in the middle of a sunday night and is just like “hey ya been ok? not fallin back on bad habits are u?” shit like that. it would def be a thing where he falls a lil bit in love with them because its smth hes not used to tho that def doesnt mean at all that they feel that way about him! it can unrequited i dont rlly care tbh.

ik i forgot sum shit and ik this is a damn m e s s but if ya wanna plot then just lms and i’ll hit ya up! we can brainstorm or pick from one of our wcs idc just give this h*e sum plots i’ll literally die without em? im def the type whos down to prettymuch™ fill anything so if ya got a plot that ur rlly wantin but no one seems to be takin then give it to me i’ll 100% take it lmao! ya im desperate what about it?

[katestestkitchen]

•• Go Slow •• “Travel changes you. As you move through this life and this world you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life — and travel — leaves marks on you. Most of the time, those marks — on your body or on your heart — are beautiful. Often though, they hurt.” – Anthony Bourdain The scars are real. They’re on my soul and on my heart. Some days they felt like machete lashings. They are some of the ugliest days of darkness I’ve ever experienced, laid out on a bathroom floor sobbing to god to allow me to find the right direction. There are marks however. They didn’t come in the form of any tattoos but they will be there for the rest of my life. They’re friendships that made this all something I could keep pushing through on the harder days. They’re sunsets that made me believe that the morning would bring a better day. They’re talks over coffee about what inspires me and fuels my need to get up each morning. These are the marks and scars that have made me a bigger and hopefully better person than I was 8 months ago. That’s the person I’m taking home. Travelling has always been a passion of mine. I’ve experienced many places in my life with loved ones around the world. From driving Highway 69 in Northern Ontario, to across the border through the south to North Carolina, and through Parisian cobblestone streets, I knew that travel would always be something I strived to make happen in my life. The main fuel of my adventures has always centered around food. Stopping for bubble gum ice cream in Parry Sound, roadside cheeseburgers in America and twice a day hunts (minimum) for a French patisserie with macaroons. Ask me if I remember the date, or even the time of year I touched down in a city around the world and I’ll spend hours wracking my brain. Ask me what we ate in the middle of Florence, or at a hidden spot up a few flights of stairs, down a long dark hallway and behind a big blue door in a beautiful, lush garden in Rhodes and I’ll ramble on and on about the amount of salt on the lamb leg or the shredded beet salad in house made yogurt that turned the dressing the brightest colour of fuscia you have ever seen. I was born to travel because I was born to eat. A few years ago I left my hometown for my first solo adventure though South America. I touched down in Buenos Aires to dive into Argentinian culture. $5 bottles of Malbec, steak that melts in your mouth and enough dulce de leche to give you type 2 diabetes. I was in heaven. I walked the streets from morning to night picking out where I would eat that day, or the following. I perused museums just to pass time before my next meal and sipped some of the finest wines in the world while attending tango shows at night. The trip continued in very much the same way through Mendoza for Italian food served up twice a day by my incredible hosts at “Antigua Residencia”, and steaks over wood fires in the mountains after sunset horseback riding. Over to Uruguay, my travel buddies and I lived off empanadas fresh off food carts while roaming the streets snuggling puppies, hoisting 30lb watermelons over our heads and listening to curbside Ska bands. Last but certainly not least, Santiago, Chile. Pisco sours, the last of the great, cheap wine and the least amount of sleep I had on the entire trip, my new hostel friends and I roamed the streets in search of Churro’s. I’ll never forget the look on my new friend, Naomi’s face, when I walked her right up to the back of someone’s van to purchase churro’s. She was horrified, sputtering out stressfully in her Australian accent that we’d definitely need our health insurance to cover what we were about to ingest. Those were the best damn churro’s I’ve ever had. Piping hot, covered in cinnamon sugar and dipped in a hazelnut chocolate sauce. She ended up eating hers and half of my own. I will never forget the look on her face. We had found the holy grail of churros and we would never experience that moment with anyone else again. We stayed up until sunrise, climbing bridges over rushing traffic, danced to the Backstreet Boys in a bass pounding nightclub, and I didn’t even feel the Pisco hangover the next day. I left that adventure knowing that nothing could stop me from ever finding that feeling again. When I left for Caye Caulker, Belize late last year I had the same feeling of excitement as I did when I left Chile. Hungry. Hungry for travel, a warm getaway and a life based completely on my own twists and turns. I didn’t know much about this tiny island aside from a hurricane splitting it in half in the 60’s and that it was VERY small but I was excited to learn how to “Go slow” and finally start making the time to sit and write every day. Plus, it was right next to Mexico, so, tacos. My writing is fuelled from the same place as my travel goals. I’m sure you’ve picked up on how much I love to be in the kitchen, in a restaurant, at a table, at a bar, outside a food cart….you get my drift. I was finally going to find the balance between my restaurant work and my writing to make the time to cook, eat out everywhere and be inspired by the locals. Unfortunately for me, Belize didn’t offer half the things that South America had for me. This is in no offense to the local food here, but it’s certainly not for me. The lobster (during lobster season) is the freshest and meatiest I’ve ever had. Outside of that, I’ve had rice and beans less than times I can count on my fingers, I’d be happy to never see another snapper fillet again and there’s a sincere lack of vegetables here outside of a few consistent ones (thank god for sweet peppers). There are plenty of influences here from other countries and lots of street food, but there are few restaurants that offer much of anything different from place to place. Grilled meat/fish, two sides, and two rum punches for the lucky price of $25BZ! If you’re looking for a budget friendly island to focus on diving, snorkelling or just getting drunk, this place is a gold mine. If you’re diving the Blue Hole all day (especially for the price that diving runs you) you’d be more than happy to see a plate of fried chicken with rice and beans at the end of your day. Right before you pass out. Well I don’t dive, and I wasn’t interested in the food. The writing stalled quickly, the only times I felt inspired was when I was missing home and scoured the island or close by cities for ingredients that reminded me of the Pacific Northwest. The restaurant work was exactly what I wanted. Packed with people from around the world every night with incredible stories to share from their sunburnt selves. The energy was high and I found myself more immersed in them than I was in anything local. It worsened once high season ended, the island cleared out and felt like a ghost town overnight. The time to write was NOW! But there was nothing for me, to write about. I knew my journey was coming to a close when I thought back on my time here and couldn’t tell myself of a time I had tasted anything here that lit up my eyes when it danced on my tongue or left me scraping my plate for any leftover drops of sauce. If I was going to immerse myself in all the shit that happened on this island and not get anything life changing to eat out of it then it was time to head on home. I think it’s important for me to say that this is not a judgement call on the people of Belize. This is the third world. The culture and priorities are very different. Minimum wage is $3.30 BZ ($1.65 US) and many people here work more than one job with plenty of mouths to feed at home. Food is a means to survive, not to indulge in for the majority of residents outside of big celebrations. Rice and beans are cheap and filling, imported goods don’t even grace the list of necessities. Locals are fighting to just make each day better for their families. I’m very blessed and privileged to come from Canada. I was brought up in a family that didn’t struggle to make ends meet, keep our laundry clean or a roof over our head. We had opportunities well into our adult lives that provided us with a feeling of complete safety and stability. This isn’t just a problem in Belize. This happens in every single city around the world. In pockets of forgotten neighbourhoods your very own neighbours, even if they aren’t living right next door to you, are struggling. It’s time for me to go home to Canada and help the people of my hometown, through food and community support. I want to cook, write, host, and experience more of what my own people are going through. I want to share their journeys and stories. There have been scars through this adventure, but one of the marks of the Belizean people is their support of the community. When one person’s house falls over, they have an offer to stay with their neighbour. When one family’s food runs out, there’s enough in the pot for them down the road. When someone is sick and can’t care for their family, there’s a Belizean mama across the way that’ll care for them. Caye Caulker IS community and the world NEEDS more of that. I doubt I’ve made much of a mark on this island but it’s certainly left its mark on me. A BIG thank you to everyone here who I’ve had the privilege of positive contact with. Your stories, struggles and successes have been sincerely inspiring. There are no words to explain how much you lifted me up each day when I was feeling low or much I loved jumping into having fun in the sun with you on a hyped up Monday Funday. Your island is beautiful and I’m proud to say I know so many people who are working so hard to make a difference in Belize. I wish you all well. Don’t say goodbye, just say so long. I’ll see you again soon on the dance floor at Sports Bar.

[omfgthelife]

Track: Ellie Goulding ✕ Bon Iver - Lights ✕ Calgary

Video Samples Source: Chaalbaaz - Tera Beemaar Mera Dil

TL;DR version: I'm pretending to make music. Somewhere in 2007-08, I got introduced to the idea of "internet mash-up artist" when a friend living in the US sent me a link to one of the first mash-up artists to go viral on the Internet, DJ ToToM. He mixed everything we were listening to then. It was fascinating to listen to something like Bob Dylan through the gaze of The Pixies. It's a different song, it's the same two songs but now it's different. It means something else now. Yeah, you can still be attached to each of the two (or more) songs that make the mashup as well. But it's just that they were made for each other also.

Since then, mashups have become a part of my library. Every now and then, I go looking for some new mashup artist who is utterly mindblowing when it comes to their matchmaking abilities. Others just make remixes, where they take an electronic sample beat and then speed up/slow down two tracks to match beat with that sample beat and play them on top of it. Or my nemesis: Bands who play two covers clearled stitched together one after the other. Yes, I'm a mashup hipster. A mashup is all about sampling. If you're doing anything other than sampling then you're making music (it may even be amazing) but you're not making a mashup. A mashup is about an alternative reality's pop culture (as defined by all alternative reality references/imagined in popular culture).

2010 onwards, mashups became my way of celebrating New Year's Eve. Two of the biggest viral mashup hitmakers Dj Earworm and Daniel Kim would release their own year-end specials -- a mashup of the Billboard top 50 tracks of the ear -- titled United States of Pop and Pop Danthology. (In my head, it's like the mashup boxing match of the year. I'm sure neither of the two artists think that way.) Then I compare notes between the two mashups. Who made the smoothest, coolest mashup with songs put together in the least forced way possible. All of this is dependent on my own judgement of course, not some standardized guide or musical knowledge. Every year, I've spent a couple of days on Audacity trying to see if I can mash songs together before realising I know shit about creating music and giving up. (I actually know nothing, I love listening to music though.) I tried reading hack guides and watching terrible videos about how to extract vocals from a song. (Hey, it never works for anything but the song they're demonstrating in the video.)

Somewhere in 2011, I discovered Girl Talk. He has taken ‘mashup artist’ to a whole new level. His mashup albums are a like a reflection in the entire genre that would be made of mashups and samples. In his discography, you'll find everything from banging dance numbers to just good soulful listens to sometimes even an exploration in noise. I'm not sure I'll ever go that deep into the art/craft of mashups. You must listen to at least one full Girl Talk album to know what I'm talking about.

Recently, I started following oneboredjeu on twitter, who I consider perhaps one of the finest mashup artists that lives on the Internet. I walked into her YouTube channel for the Gambino and Gorillaz mashups and stayed for everything else. Among her recent uploads, her Sia-Lorde and SZA-Ariana Grande mashups are to die for. Through her, I found Raheem D. His Lil Kim-Ariana Grande mashup is da bomb. That was when I also discovered there was a mashup artist scene and their own space on social media. Reading them discuss mashups, hearing their uploads, I learnt two key things which I used when I restarted my attempts at mashing songs on Audacity:

1. It's best if songs are on the same key and close to each other in BPM (beats per minute) count. Because I know shit about making music, I couldn't guess what key any given song was, and I could never count beats already. 2. You can't just cut vocals out of a song like it works with image editing (which I had learnt already). Mashup artists source their stems (different tracks that make a song: vocals, strings, percussion, or the complete instrumental backing track) from all over the Internet.

Finally, we're at how did I end up here. A few weeks ago, I was hanging out with a friend from Chile. Our usual scene was sitting on his couch, and having a YouTube party where we'd keep showing each other videos or music. That day, the moment I entered his house, he jumped up.

"Duude! Do you remember the Asereje song?" He was doing the step. "The Tomatina girls or something?" "Yes, yes! That one." "We just called it the Ketchup song in India." "That's not the point. Somebody finally figured out what the gibberish part of the song was!" "There was a gibberish part?" "The lines that come after Asereje are all gibberish!" "They're not Spanish? They sound so much like Spanish!" "Yes, they do but they're Spanish gibberish. If you understood Spanish, you'd know." "So what's the meaning of Asereje?"

He then played a video from a Chilean news channel where they were reporting that a dude on Twitter had cracked the Asereje code. So in Spanish, the girls are singing the story of Diego. One night Diego is wrecked on alcohol and drugs and arrives at a club. The DJ starts playing a song, which happens to be Diego's favourite song. Y la baila (And he dances), y la goza (and he enjoys it) y la caaantaaa (and he siiings): Aserejé, ja deje tejebe tude jebere Sebiunouba majabi an de bugui an de buididipí Sebiunouba majabi an de bugui an de buididipí Sebiunouba majabi an de bugui an de buididipí So Diego's favourite song iiiiis: I said a hip hop, hippie to the hippie The hip, hip a hop, and you don't stop, a rock it out Bubba to the bang bang boogie, boobie to the boogie To the rhythm of the boogie the beat

Rapper's Delight! Yes, that blew my mind and I can no longer take The Ketchup Song lightly. I have regrets for taking it lightly when I was in college and the song was a sensation.

So at this end of this long detour in my mashup story: I got home that night and tweeted, asking the Internet for a mashup of The Ketchup Song and Rapper's Delight. Someone from my twitter social life was equally mindblown and asked for the same. Something hit me then and I made this just ffs. I'd successfully managed to get vocals only tracks of Rapper's Delight and The Ketchup Song, and an instrumental version of The Ketchup Song to put together that short clip -- in my head, it was more of a proof of concept that I can mashup AND that the guy from Chile was right, Asereje IS Rapper's Delight. Last Monday, I got bored one evening and also was itching to see if I could get even close to making a mashup. So as usual, my mashup attempt of 2017 was underway. I googled to see if somebody had compiled a song keys database and ta-da: I found Audio Keychain. While just clicking through their database to see if any song strikes me in particular that I wanted to try using in a mashup. I found Katy B's 5AM, which I really like. A reverse search told me that Blue Oyster Cult's hit The Reaper had the same key and almost the same BPM. There it was decided, for my first attempt, I was going to mash these two songs together. I found the Katy B stems on some filesharing platform after some searching. A decent instrumental (backing track) version of The Reaper on YouTube was found much easily and downloaded. I worked for a couple of hours and made an almost 2-minute draft. It was working but I hit a creative block there onwards. So I exported the 1:48 clip to mp3 from Audacity and sent it to the friend who first introduced me to ToToM and went to sleep.

The next day at office, I played the mashup over and over again to see if still made sense. I made a colleague listen to it because I was confident that I had no distance and it would sound amazing to me. He said, "I haven't heard either of these songs but I like this song I'm hearing." That was hella encouraging. Although, I was sure that it was a fluke that I managed to make that one. If I try once again, I'll fail miserably. On Wednesday, I opened Audio Keychain and decided to try again. After some hits and misses, I finally ended up with Billy Idol's Dancing With Myself (backing track) and David Guetta/Nicki Minaj/Bebe Rexha's Hey Mama (vocal track). After the first draft, there were lots of empty spaces for which I didn't find any vocals that fit. So I added the chorus from Charli XCX's Boom Clap, which doesn't really fit as well as the first two songs with each other. But it was all sounding pleasant and I hadn't fucked up as miserably as the last seven years.

Thursday evening, I didn't even think twice. I got home, logged onto Audio Keychain and started looking for tracks to mashup. A lot of random and terrible experiments later, Ellie Goulding's Lights and Bon Iver's Calgary seemed like they had promise together. Unfortunately, just like the bad Charli XCX stem from the previous mashup, I found a below-par vocals only track for Lights. I didn't actually care because all I wanted to see was if I could make a decent mashup again. I really, really liked how the two tracks came together. Hence, this decision of publishing the mashup. I would've published on Thursday night itself but I think I was too happy about how these two tracks worked together. I felt this track needed a video. And in a vision due to a fuckton of sleeplessness, Sridevi and my favourite song from Chaalbaaz came to mind - Tera Beemaar Mera Dil. So then I downloaded the best available YouTube video for that song and started to work on it. After quite a few drafts, a low-end machine, where every render takes 2 hours and the only way to see the video is to render it because otherwise everything starts malfunctioning due to the load, here's the final mashup video for a mashup track.