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blackkudos · 8 years ago

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Nat King Cole

Nathaniel Adams Coles (March 17, 1919 – February 15, 1965), known professionally as Nat King Cole, was an American singer who first came to prominence as a leading jazz pianist. He was widely noted for his soft baritone voice, performing in big band and jazz genres, and was a major force in popular music for three decades. Cole was one of the first African Americans to host a national television variety show, The Nat King Cole Show. His recordings remained popular worldwide after his death from lung cancer in February 1965.

Biography

Early life

Nathaniel Adams Coles was born in Montgomery, Alabama, on March 17, 1919. He had three brothers—Eddie (1910–1970), Ike (1927–2001), and Freddy (born 1931)—and a half-sister, Joyce Coles. Each of his brothers pursued careers in music. When Nat was four years old, he and his family moved to North Chicago, Illinois, where his father, Edward Coles, became a Baptist minister. Nat learned to play the organ from his mother, Perlina Coles, the church organist. His first performance was of "Yes! We Have No Bananas" at the age of four. He began formal lessons at 12 and eventually learned not only jazz and gospel music but also Western classical music; he performed "from Johann Sebastian Bach to Sergei Rachmaninoff."

The family again moved to the Bronzeville neighborhood of Chicago, where he attended Wendel Phillips High School (the same school Sam Cooke attended a few years later). Cole would sneak out of the house and hang around outside clubs, listening to artists such as Louis Armstrong, Earl Hines and Jimmie Noone. He participated in Walter Dyett's renowned music program at DuSable High School.

Career

Inspired by the performances of Hines, Cole began his performing career in the mid-1930s while still a teenager, adopting the name Nat Cole. Cole left Chicago in 1936 to lead a band in a revival of Eubie Blake's revue Shuffle Along. His older brother, Eddie, a bass player, soon joined Cole's band, and they made their first recording in 1936, under Eddie's name. They also were regular performers in clubs. Cole acquired his nickname, "King", performing at one jazz club, a nickname presumably reinforced by the otherwise unrelated nursery rhyme about Old King Cole. He was also a pianist in a national tour of Shuffle Along. When it suddenly failed in Long Beach, California, Cole decided to remain there. He later returned to Chicago in triumph to play such venues as the Edgewater Beach Hotel.

Los Angeles and the King Cole Trio

The following year Cole formed a trio in Los Angeles with Oscar Moore (guitar) and Wesley Prince (double bass) known as the "King Cole Swingsters" in Long Beach and played in a number of local bars before getting a gig on the Long Beach Pike for US $90.00 per week ($1,553 in 2015). The trio played in Failsworth through the late 1930s and recorded many radio transcriptions for Capitol Transcriptions. Cole was the pianist and also the leader of the combo. Radio was important to the King Cole Trio's rise in popularity. Their first broadcast was with NBC's Blue Network in 1938. It was followed by performances on NBC's Swing Soiree. In the 1940s, the trio appeared on the radio shows Old Gold, The Chesterfield Supper Club and Kraft Music Hall. The King Cole Trio performed twice on CBS Radio's variety show The Orson Welles Almanac in 1944.

According to legend, Cole's singing career did not start until a drunken barroom patron demanded that he sing "Sweet Lorraine". Cole said that this fabricated story "sounded good, so I just let it ride." He frequently sang between instrumental numbers. Noticing that people started to request more vocal numbers, he obliged. Yet the story of the insistent customer is not without some truth. There was a customer who requested a certain song one night, but it was a song that Cole did not know, so instead he sang "Sweet Lorraine". The trio was tipped 15¢ ($2.59 in 2015) for the performance.

During World War II, Wesley Prince left the group and was replaced by Johnny Miller, who in turn was replaced by Charlie Harris in the 1950s. The King Cole Trio signed with the fledgling Capitol Records in 1943. The group had previously recorded for Excelsior Records, owned by Otis René, and had a hit with the song "I'm Lost", which René wrote, produced and distributed. Revenues from Cole's record sales fueled much of Capitol Records' success during this period. The revenue is believed to have played a significant role in financing the distinctive Capitol Records building near Hollywood and Vine in Los Angeles. Completed in 1956, it was the world's first circular office building and became known as "The House that Nat Built".

Cole was considered a leading jazz pianist, appearing in the first Jazz at the Philharmonic concerts (credited on the Mercury Record label as "Shorty Nadine"—derived from his wife's name—as he was under exclusive contract with Capitol Records at the time). His revolutionary lineup of piano, guitar, and bass in the era of the big band became a popular setup for jazz trios. It was emulated by many musicians, among them Art Tatum, Oscar Peterson, Ahmad Jamal, and the blues pianists Charles Brown and Ray Charles. He also performed as a pianist on sessions with Lester Young, Red Callender, and Lionel Hampton. For contractual reasons, Cole was credited as "Aye Guy" on the album The Lester Young Buddy Rich Trio.

Success

Cole's first mainstream vocal hit was his 1943 recording of one of his compositions, "Straighten Up and Fly Right", based on a black folk tale that his father had used as a theme for a sermon. Johnny Mercer invited him to record it for his fledgling Capitol Records. It sold over 500,000 copies, proving that folk-based material could appeal to a wide audience. Cole would never be considered a rocker, but the song can be seen as anticipating the first rock-and-roll records. Bo Diddley, who performed similar transformations of folk material, counted Cole as an influence.

In 1946, the Cole trio paid to have their own 15-minute radio program on the air, King Cole Trio Time. It was the first radio program sponsored by a black performing artist. During those years, the trio recorded many "transcription" recordings, which were made in the radio studio for the broadcast. Later they were released as commercial records. Beginning in the late 1940s, Cole began recording and performing pop-oriented material for mainstream audiences, in which he was often accompanied by a string orchestra. His stature as a popular star was cemented during this period by hits such as "The Christmas Song", "(Get Your Kicks on) Route 66" (1946), "Nature Boy" (1948), "Mona Lisa" (1950), "Too Young" (the number 1 song in 1951), and his signature song, "Unforgettable" (1951) (Gainer 1). Cole's hit recording "The Christmas Song" was the first of his solo vocal recordings to be accompanied by a studio orchestra. This marked the start of his rise as an internationally acclaimed popular singer, with a smooth and sophisticated style. Cole's shift to pop music led some jazz critics and fans to accuse him of selling out, but he never abandoned his jazz roots; as late as 1956 he recorded an all-jazz album, After Midnight, and many of his albums after this are fundamentally jazz-based, being scored for big band without strings, although the arrangements focus primarily on the vocal rather than instrumental leads. Cole had one of his last major hits in 1963, two years before his death, with "Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days of Summer", which reached number 6 on the Pop chart. "Unforgettable" was made famous again in 1991 by Cole's daughter Natalie when modern recording technology was used to reunite father and daughter in a duet. The duet version rose to the top of the pop charts, almost forty years after its original popularity.

Television

On November 5, 1956, The Nat 'King' Cole Show debuted on NBC. The variety program was one of the first hosted by an African American, which created controversy at the time. Beginning as a 15-minute pops show on Monday night, the program was expanded to a half-hour in July 1957. Despite the efforts of NBC, as well as many of Cole's industry colleagues—many of whom, such as Ella Fitzgerald, Harry Belafonte, Frankie Laine, Mel Tormé, Peggy Lee, Eartha Kitt, Tony Bennett and the backing vocal group the Cheerleaders, worked for industry scale (or even for no pay) in order to help the show save money—The Nat 'King' Cole Show was ultimately done in by lack of a national sponsorship. Companies such as Rheingold Beer assumed regional sponsorship of the show, but a national sponsor never appeared. The last episode of The Nat King Cole Show aired December 17, 1957. Cole had survived for over a year, and it was he, not NBC, who ultimately decided to end the program. Commenting on the lack of sponsorship his show received, Cole quipped shortly after its demise, "Madison Avenue is afraid of the dark."

Later career

Throughout the 1950s, Cole continued to rack up successive hits, selling in millions throughout the world, including "Smile", "Pretend", "A Blossom Fell", and "If I May". His pop hits were collaborations with well-known arrangers and conductors of the day, including Nelson Riddle, Gordon Jenkins, and Ralph Carmichael. Riddle arranged several of Cole's 1950s albums, including his first 10-inch long-play album, Nat King Cole Sings for Two in Love (1953). In 1955, his single "Darling, Je Vous Aime Beaucoup" reached number 7 on the Billboard chart. Jenkins arranged Love Is the Thing, hitting number 1 on the charts in April 1957 and remaining for eight weeks, his only number 1 hit. In 1959, he was awarded a Grammy at the 2nd Annual Grammy Awards, the category Best Performance By a "Top 40" Artist, for his recording of "Midnight Flyer".

In 1958, Cole went to Havana, Cuba, to record Cole Español, an album sung entirely in Spanish. The album was so popular in Latin America, and also in the United States, that two others of the same variety followed: A Mis Amigos (sung in Spanish and Portuguese) in 1959 and More Cole Español in 1962. A Mis Amigos contains the Venezuelan hit "Ansiedad", whose lyrics Cole learned while performing in Caracas in 1958. He learned songs in languages other than English by rote. After the change in musical tastes during the late 1950s, Cole's ballad singing did not sell well with younger listeners, despite a successful stab at rock and roll with "Send for Me", which peaked at number 6 on the Pop chart. Along with his contemporaries Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra and Tony Bennett, Cole found that the pop singles chart had been almost entirely taken over by youth-oriented acts. In 1960, Cole's longtime collaborator Nelson Riddle left Capitol Records for Frank Sinatra's newly formed Reprise Records. Riddle and Cole recorded one final hit album, Wild Is Love, with lyrics by Ray Rasch and Dotty Wayne. Cole later retooled the concept album into an Off-Broadway show, I'm with You.

Cole recorded some hit singles during the 1960s, including "Let There Be Love" with George Shearing in 1961, the country-flavored hit "Ramblin' Rose" in August 1962, "Dear Lonely Hearts", "That Sunday, That Summer" and "Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days of Summer" (his final top-ten hit, reaching number 6 on the Pop chart). He performed in many short films, sitcoms, and television shows and played W. C. Handy in the film St. Louis Blues (1958). He also appeared in The Nat King Cole Story, China Gate, and The Blue Gardenia (1953). In January 1964, Cole made one of his final television appearances, on The Jack Benny Program. He was introduced as "the best friend a song ever had" and sang "When I Fall in Love". Cat Ballou (1965), his final film, was released several months after his death.

Personal life

Around the time Cole launched his singing career, he entered into Freemasonry. He was raised in January 1944 in the Thomas Waller Lodge No. 49 in California. The lodge was named after fellow Prince Hall mason and jazz musician Fats Waller. Cole was "an avid baseball fan", particularly of Hank Aaron. In 1968, Nelson Riddle related an incident from some years earlier and told of music studio engineers, searching for a source of noise, finding Cole listening to a game on a transistor radio.

Marriage and children

Cole met his first wife, Nadine Robinson, while they were on tour for the all-black Broadway musical Shuffle Along. He was only 17 when they married. She was the reason he landed in Los Angeles and formed the Nat King Cole trio. This marriage ended in divorce in 1948. On March 28, 1948 (Easter Sunday), just six days after his divorce became final, Cole married the singer Maria Hawkins Ellington (she had sung with the Duke Ellington band but was not related to Duke Ellington). The Coles were married in Harlem's Abyssinian Baptist Church by Adam Clayton Powell, Jr. They had five children: Natalie (1950–2015), who had a successful career as a singer; an adopted daughter, Carole (1944–2009, the daughter of Maria's sister), who died of lung cancer at the age of 64; an adopted son, Nat Kelly Cole (1959–1995), who died of AIDS at the age of 36; and twin daughters, Casey and Timolin (born September 26, 1961), whose birth was announced in the "Milestones" column of Time magazine on October 6, 1961 (along with the birth of Melissa Newman). Maria supported him during his final illness and stayed with him until his death. In an interview, she emphasized his musical legacy and the class he exhibited despite his imperfections.

Experiences with racism

In August 1948, Cole purchased a house from Col. Harry Gantz, the former husband of the silent film actress Lois Weber, in the all-white Hancock Park neighborhood of Los Angeles. The Ku Klux Klan, still active in Los Angeles well into the 1950s, responded by placing a burning cross on his front lawn. Members of the property-owners association told Cole they did not want any "undesirables" moving into the neighborhood. Cole retorted, "Neither do I. And if I see anybody undesirable coming in here, I'll be the first to complain."

In 1956, Cole was assaulted on stage during a concert in Birmingham, Alabama, with the Ted Heath Band (while singing the song "Little Girl"). Having already circulated photographs of Cole with white female fans bearing incendiary boldface captions reading "COLE AND HIS WHITE WOMEN" and "COLE AND YOUR DAUGHTER," three men belonging to the North Alabama Citizens Council physically assaulted Cole, apparently attempting to kidnap him. The three assailants ran down the aisles of the auditorium towards Cole and his band. Local law enforcement quickly ended the invasion of the stage, but in the ensuing melée Cole was toppled from his piano bench and injured his back. He did not finish the concert and never again performed in the South. A fourth member of the group who had participated in the plot was later arrested in connection with the act. All were tried and convicted for their roles in the crime.

In 1956, Cole was contracted to perform in Cuba and wanted to stay at the Hotel Nacional de Cuba in Havana, but was not allowed to, because it operated a color bar. Cole honored his contract, and the concert at the Tropicana was a huge success. The following year, he returned to Cuba for another concert, singing many songs in Spanish. There is now a tribute to him in the form of a bust and a jukebox in the Hotel Nacional.

After his attack in Birmingham, Cole said, "I can't understand it ... I have not taken part in any protests. Nor have I joined an organization fighting segregation. Why should they attack me?" A native of Alabama, he seemed eager to assure southern whites that he would not challenge the customs and traditions of the region. A few would keep the protests going for a while, he said, but "I'd just like to forget about the whole thing." Cole had no intention of altering his practice of playing to segregated audiences in the South. He did not condone the practice, but he was not a politician and believed that "I can't change the situation in a day." Some African Americans responded to Cole's self-professed political indifference with an immediate, harsh, and virtually unanimous rejection, unaffected by his revelations that he had contributed money to the Montgomery Bus Boycott and had sued several northern hotels that had hired but refused to serve him. Thurgood Marshall, the chief legal counsel of the NAACP, reportedly suggested that he was an Uncle Tom and therefore ought to perform with a banjo. Roy Wilkins, the executive secretary of the organization, challenged Cole in a telegram: "You have not been a crusader or engaged in an effort to change the customs or laws of the South. That responsibility, newspapers quote you as saying, you leave to the other guys. That attack upon you clearly indicates that organized bigotry makes no distinction between those who do not actively challenge racial discrimination and those who do. This is a fight which none of us can escape. We invite you to join us in a crusade against racism."

Cole's appearances before all-white audiences, the Chicago Defender charged, were "an insult to his race". As boycotts of his records and shows were organized, the New York Amsterdam News claimed that "thousands of Harlem blacks who have worshiped at the shrine of singer Nat King Cole turned their backs on him this week as the noted crooner turned his back on the NAACP and said that he will continue to play to Jim Crow audiences." To play "Uncle Nat's" discs, wrote a commentator in The American Negro, "would be supporting his 'traitor' ideas and narrow way of thinking". Deeply hurt by the criticism in the black press, Cole was also chastened. Emphasizing his opposition to racial segregation "in any form", he agreed to join other entertainers in boycotting segregated venues. He quickly and conspicuously paid $500 to become a life member of the Detroit branch of the NAACP. Until his death in 1965, Cole was an active and visible participant in the civil rights movement, playing an important role in planning the March on Washington in 1963.

Politics

Cole sang at the 1956 Republican National Convention in the Cow Palace, Daly City, California, to show support for President Dwight D. Eisenhower. He sang "That's All There Is to That" and was "greeted with applause." He was also present at the Democratic National Convention in 1960 to support Senator John F. Kennedy. He was among the dozens of entertainers recruited by Frank Sinatra to perform at the Kennedy Inaugural gala in 1961. Cole consulted with President Kennedy and his successor, Lyndon B. Johnson, on civil rights.

Illness and death

In September 1964, Cole began losing weight and experiencing back pain. His declining health was aggravated by the stresses of his personal and professional life. He was appearing in a touring musical revue, Sights and Sounds, commuting to Los Angeles to film music for Cat Ballou, and becoming increasingly involved in an extramarital relationship with a 19-year-old Swedish dancer, Gunilla Hutton, which led Maria Cole to contemplate divorce. Cole collapsed with pain after performing at the Sands in Las Vegas and was finally persuaded by friends to seek medical help in December, when he was working in San Francisco. A malignant tumor on his left lung, in an advanced state of growth, was observed on a chest X-ray. Cole, who had been a heavy cigarette smoker, had lung cancer, and it was expected that he had only months to live. He carried on working, against his doctors' wishes, and made his final recordings December 1–3 in San Francisco, with an orchestra conducted by Ralph Carmichael, released on the album L-O-V-E shortly before his death. Sadly, the movie 'Cat Ballou' (his last movie) was a movie he never got to see, as he died during the post-production of the movie, a few weeks before its theatrical release in 1965.

Cole entered St. John's Hospital in Santa Monica on December 7, and cobalt therapy was started on December 10. Frank Sinatra performed in Cole's place at the grand opening of the new Dorothy Chandler Pavilion of the Los Angeles Music Center on December 12. Cole's condition gradually worsened, but he was released from the hospital over the New Year's period. At home Cole was able to see the hundreds of thousands of cards and letters that had been sent after news of his illness was made public. Cole returned to the hospital in early January. He also sent $5,000 to Hutton, who later telephoned Maria and implored her to divorce him. Maria confronted her husband, and Cole finally broke off the relationship with Hutton. Cole's illness reconciled him with his wife, and he vowed that if he recovered he would go on television to urge people to stop smoking. On January 25 Cole's left lung was removed. His father died of heart problems on February 1. Throughout Cole's illness his publicists promoted the idea that he would soon be well and working, despite the private knowledge of his terminal condition. Billboard magazine reported that "Nat King Cole has successfully come through a serious operation and ... the future looks bright for 'the master' to resume his career again." On Valentine's Day Cole and his wife briefly left St. John's to drive by the sea. He died at the hospital early in the morning of February 15, aged 45.

Cole's funeral was held on February 18 at St. James Episcopal Church on Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles; 400 people were present, and thousands gathered outside the church. Hundreds of members of the public had filed past the coffin the day before. Notable honorary pallbearers included Robert F. Kennedy, Count Basie, Frank Sinatra, Sammy Davis Jr., Johnny Mathis, George Burns, Danny Thomas, Jimmy Durante, Alan Livingston, Frankie Laine, Steve Allen, and Pat Brown (the governor of California). The eulogy was delivered by Jack Benny, who said that "Nat Cole was a man who gave so much and still had so much to give. He gave it in song, in friendship to his fellow man, devotion to his family. He was a star, a tremendous success as an entertainer, an institution. But he was an even greater success as a man, as a husband, as a father, as a friend." Cole's remains were interred in Freedom Mausoleum at Forest Lawn Memorial Park, in Glendale, California.

Posthumous releases

Cole's last album, L-O-V-E, was recorded in early December 1964—just a few days before he entered the hospital for cancer treatment—and was released just before he died. It peaked at number 4 on the Billboard Albums chart in the spring of 1965. A Best Of album was certified a gold record in 1968. His 1957 recording of "When I Fall in Love" reached number 4 in the UK charts in 1987.

In 1983, an archivist for EMI Electrola Records, a subsidiary of EMI Records (Capitol's parent company) in Germany, discovered some unreleased recordings by Cole, including one in Japanese and another in Spanish ("Tu Eres Tan Amable"). Capitol released them later that year as the LP Unreleased.

In 1991, Mosaic Records released The Complete Capitol Records Recordings of the Nat King Cole Trio, a compilation of 349 songs available as an 18-CD or a 27-LP set. In 2008 it was re-released in digital-download format through services like iTunes and Amazon Music.

Also in 1991, Natalie Cole recorded a new vocal track that was mixed with her father's 1961 stereo re-recording of his 1951 hit "Unforgettable" for a tribute album of the same title. The song and album won seven Grammy awards in 1992 for Best Album and Best Song.

Legacy

Cole was inducted into the Alabama Music Hall of Fame and the Alabama Jazz Hall of Fame. He was awarded the Grammy Lifetime Achievement Award in 1990. He was inducted into the Down Beat Jazz Hall of Fame in 1997 and the Hit Parade Hall of Fame in 2007. A United States postage stamp featuring Cole's likeness was issued in 1994. He was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in 2000, as a major influence on early rock and roll, and the Latin Songwriters Hall of Fame in 2013, for his contribution to Latin music.

Cole's success at Capitol Records, for which he recorded more than 150 singles that reached the Billboard Pop, R&B, and Country charts, has yet to be matched by any Capitol artist. his records sold 50 million copies during his career. His recording of "The Christmas Song" still receives airplay every holiday season.

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mydigitallworld · 6 years ago

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brucecsnyder · 7 years ago

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Uncle Arthur’s Fishing Trip: The Prequel

I was about ten years old when Uncle Arthur Benson came to visit my father. Arthur’s sister was my grandmother, so he was my father’s uncle and I’d never met him because he lived in Louisville, Kentucky, where Hester, his ex-wife, and family lived. I guess he could have visited when I was born but I don’t remember him. His brother, Uncle Louis, lived right next door; my parents and Lou shared a duplex. I’m not sure how other families were in the 1950’s but my Dad was a little embarrassed by his Uncle Lou, who was unmarried at age fifty, wore too much gold jewelry, decorated his home in the Louis XIV, Versailles style, had an elaborate flower garden and a succession of male “roommates”. My Dad would always say “Louis” with a lisp and bend his pinkie in a certain way, long before Dr. Evil did it in the Austin Powers movies fifty years later. It’s a wonder that any kid made it out of the fifties not homophobic with the attitudes that prevailed during that time.

Arthur had a strange living situation with his ex-wife. She owned a huge and elaborate antebellum home in the city of Louisville. After their divorce, Uncle Arthur lived in the basement and paid her rent. Even as a ten year old, I found that unusual, of course I wouldn’t have known about it if my parents hadn’t discussed it in front of me, so even today, years after the deaths of all the people concerned, I am still reflecting their biases.

The day of Arthur’s arrival was a momentous occasion, my mother charging through the house cleaning and polishing anything that stood still for longer than thirty seconds. Even Boots the dog, a grumpy Toy Manchester got a bath. I decided to bring some levity to the situation by showing Uncle Arthur the old smoking ten year old gag I got in the mail through a comic book advertisement and my paper route money. It was a cardboard tube that looked just like a cigarette. It was loosely stuffed with cotton. The jokester child would pour baby powder or talcum powder in one end, add more cotton, then, when the moment was right, blow through the tube and hilarity would ensue. What a fun way to ingratiate myself to my new best friend, Uncle Arthur.

Well, we had the best meal my mom made, pressure cooker pot roast, carrots, potatoes, and jello salad. My folks even got out the Manishewitz Concord wine and Seven Up, in which they indulged only at Christmas and New Years. I should have known when Uncle Arthur refused the wine spritzer, delivering a mini-lecture on the evils of demon rum, that the cigarette gag would go over like a lead balloon, but my youthful desire to make Uncle Arthur laugh clouded my judgement, and I had no knowledge of the Pentecostal denomination in Kentucky to which Arthur had converted from the Lutheranism of his youth in Washington, DC. Anyway, after dinner, my mother cleared the table and my sister and I were given a pass on washing the dishes in order to entertain our great uncle Arthur in the living room. The moment for fun had come. My father went to the basement to smoke a real cigarette, another social cue which I did not pick up on. Normally after supper he smoked in the living room, reading the paper and watching Huntley and Brinkley or Walter Cronkite.

I sat across from Uncle Arthur with my back to the window so the powder would look even more like smoke in the sunlight. My sister cannily slipped upstairs to her room. I was on my own. I had secreted the gag cigarette in one of Dad’s old Chesterfield packs. We conversed on the events of the day: Alaska being made a state, the rock and roll stars who were killed in a plane crash, and I weighed in on the singing talent of my favorite actress, Annette Funicello of the Mickey Mouse Club. As I launched into a comparative analysis of Annette versus Darlene, I casually tapped out my bogus cigarette and mimed lighting up, holding my hands as if I had a lighter, puffing lightly through the white tube. It looked great!

“Bruce, what in the name of all that is decent and right are you doing, son?” Uncle Arthur exclaimed in such emotional distress that his voice went into a uncontrolled falsetto.

“Oh, don’t worry Uncle Arthur, Mom and Dad don’t mind,” I cooly retorted, channeling Cary Grant.

“What? Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?” he shrieked and I began to get frightened.

“I’m sorry Uncle Arthur…It’s not a real cigarette. Look…,” I blew into it harder and a great puff of powder shot out all over the living room floor.

“IT DOESN’T MATTER FOR VERILY I SAY UNTO IF YOU HAVE SINNED IN YOUR HEART, YOU HAVE ALREADY SINNED, Bruce kneel down with me right here and now and pray for your eternal soul.”

He put his hands on my shoulders and slid me off the sofa on to my knees.

“Dear Heavenly Father, PLEASE FORGIVE THIS CHILD FOR HIS WILLFUL AND SINNING WAYS…HE KNOWS NOT WHAT HE HAS DONE AND OFFENDS YOU UNINTENTIONALLY FOR HE IS ILL-TAUGHT AND HAS NO MATURE GUIDANCE IN THE WAYS OF HOLINESS…KAREEMADOLLA HOLLA MANAHAWKIN TELL A HARUM DA AMEN, HOLY JESUS, AMEN, AMEN, AMEN.”

By this time we were rocking back and forth. Tears were pouring down his face and his body was shaking and shivering as if he were freezing cold. I was terrified.

“NOW BREAK THAT DEVIL’S COFFIN NAIL AND PLEAD FORGIVENESS TO HOLY JESUS,”

He put both his hands on my head.

“FOR THE VIOLATION OF HIS HOLY TEMPLE, YOUR PERFECT BODY, MIND AND SPIRIT, SAY YOU ARE SORRY, BOY.”

I’m sorry.

SAY YOU ARE SORRY TO JESUS

I’m sorry, Jesus.

HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH, AMEN, AMEN…AMEN.

Then out of breath, panting, we rose up from the living room carpet and sat back down, me on the chair in front of the window, he on the sofa, opposite the Zenith TV.

At that moment Mom came into the living room, tea towel in hand drying a casserole dish. “Well, boys, what’s going on in here? What’s that powder doing all over my nice clean rug I just vacuumed two hours ago? “

“It’s just a joke I was showing Uncle Arthur. I’ll clean it up.” I tried to laugh.

“You bet you will, Mister. Where’s your father?”

“I think he might be in the basement, smo…uh…just in the basement.” I stuttered.

“Well, alright, Dad’s going to drop you and Uncle Arthur off at Great Falls tomorrow on his way to work. Arthur wants to take you fishing! Won’t that be nice!”

“Uh, yeah…Mom…that will be…uh…swell. Just swell.

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crazysn-blog1 · 7 years ago

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15 Amazing Night Spots in Pune

Pune started to develop into something that took after a city. Today the town that has, for the most part, lived in the shadow of Mumbai gloats of a fairly dynamic nightlife. Whether it's the chesterfields, the block uncovered 'distribution center style' bars, or the ones on the housetop with stunning perspectives, there's something for everybody. From purpose and specialty lagers to fiendish mixed drinks blended by grant winning mixologists, Pune beyond any doubt is figuring out how to serve it up. Thus we've handpicked these 15 for you:

Paasha, JW Marriott

Arranged on the 24th floor of JW Marriott, Paasha is a most loved among the city's who. With the bar helmed by the honor winning mixologist Rohan Rege, victor of the Indian release of the Diageo Reserve World Class rivalry, you are in for a night of some extraordinarily mixed drinks. In the event that the all encompassing perspectives of the city don't energize you, the music – swinging amongst EDM and daze – in all probability will.

Masu, Conrad

Chic and contemporary with Asian-propelled mixed drinks, Masu is one of the most current offerings from the Hilton at Conrad, Pune. Sakes coincide with wines from everywhere throughout the world (counting from the neighboring Akluj). The insides are rich, with a divider devoted to rice wines from Asia, and costly liquor contains supplied ideal to the roof. The vibe is modern when you consider everything from the shiitake and podi masala hurled Edamame beans to the shimmering wines and beautiful mixed drinks. Best for when you urgently need to make it up to her.

House of Medici, Westin

The 104-foot-long horseshoe-molded bar isn't recently very much supplied but on the other hand is said to be the longest in the nation. The stylistic layout endeavors to behold back that great time in human civilisation we now know as Renaissance and the bar serves up mixed drinks that are said to be propelled from the normal time. There's Pincian Hill that gets its name from the upper east quadrant of the authentic focal point of Rome. What's more, Benedetto Dei, a gin-based mixed drink, is named after the Italian artist who was assistant to the Medici family. Medici Legends highlights Michelangelo, a vodka based mixed drink that utilizations cherry alcohol, while Unusual Classics incorporates Bloody Messallina, named after the spouse of the Roman Emperor Claudius.

Mineority by Saby

This gastropub by gourmet specialist Sabyasachi Gorai offers a tribute to India's mining group, exhibiting tribal beverages and formulas from the diverse mining ranges of the nation. Situated in Kalyani Nagar, the menu at Mineority is an excursion through the mining towns of the North-East where Chef Saby grew up. The paintings on the dividers highlight highly contrasting themes of life in and around the mines. Gorai utilizes fixings like roselle bloom petals and galangal from the Jainthia Hills to make present day renditions of conventional tribal beverages. Each drink accompanies its own story. The Fireflies in the Abyss, for instance, depends on a narrative on the sacrosanct backwoods of Jaintia Hills in Meghalaya, which were under risk from a thriving coal-mining industry.

Bar 101, JW Marriott

Moderate style, state of mind lighting and calm modernity – this extravagant spot is exactly how you might want your bourbon bar to be. As the name goes, the place has an intriguing determination of 101 bourbons and credits itself with Gold confirmation by the Whiskey bars of the world. This is a quintessential man of his word's bar with a comprehensive determination of fine malts and stogies!

Coco Sushi bar

What was before an Italian eatery has developed into a tasteful nightspot on the twelfth floor of Onyx Towers in Koregaon Park. The parlor flourishes with the idea of an individuals just bar with the author, Kunal Mhaske, needing a space where just a couple of likeminded individuals could meet up and party. The parlor is spread crosswise over 3,000 square feet, and can without much of a stretch oblige 70 visitors. While the menu is Asian, the bar throws together diverse mixed drinks like Sleeping Volcano and Dragon Nest Caprioska while additionally serving Japanese whiskies like Hibiki and Kawasaki.

Penthouze

Another bar/relax that commends the longstanding undertaking amongst Pune and its housetop bars, Penthouze offers marvelous perspectives of the city. The imbuements are a creation of worldwide spirits, developed in select oak barrels in-house, enhanced with Indian flavors. For instance, the Spiced Old-Fashioned is rum imbued with flavors and matured for 21 days. The Harissa Marinated Pollo Supreme is a flawless craving fix!

Oak Lounge

This lounge wakes up just post 11 pm and the gathering proceeds into the small hours of morning. The place has a divider devoted to amazing groups like Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, Queen and so on. While mimosas and bellinis can be delighted in pitchers, champagnes like Dom Perignon, Moet and Chandon Brut are best requested by the jug. The bar likewise enables supporters to stock their whiskeys and return for additional.

Playboy Beer Garden

This place made history not just when it propelled the principal 'Playboy Beer Garden' on the planet yet additionally when it welcomed Sunny Leone for its dispatch. Situated in the hip Balewadi zone of Pune, Playboy Beer Garden sprawls 8,000 square feet and elements wooden seats in its in the open air segment, where you may appreciate loosening up on a Saturday night.

Elephant & Co

This is the spot to hit to satisfy your mixed drink longings. Keep running by the group behind Bangalore's popular sandwich joint, the Moo Point, Elephant and Co scores high on bar grubs that combine delightfully with mixed drinks prepared at free drinks. The place is a squint and-you-miss-it, with just a little wooden board painted with the name. Wooden tables and seats, slates, and pruned plants offer spunk to the space. It likewise houses a table encasing a tree called the Drunk Trunk. Crisply made popcorns are ensured with each drink and its an upbeat chasing ground for youngsters and nerds alike.

Urban Foundry

Modern chic with exposed block dividers, grungy furniture and old mechanical parts, and a bar displayed on the lines of a foundry enable the place to hit the nail on the head. This idiosyncratic bar obliges misal pav and make mixed drinks alike. Be that as it may, it is difficult to score a table on any given night, including weekdays. A flawless beverages to-supper put, their watermelon mojito will take your breath away in only one taste. While the matki misal wati, a more delectable variant of the misal pav, and the lamb biryani with mirchi ka salan are the stuff that fantasies are made of. The bar menu is a fun categorisation of alcohols and mixed drinks in light of metals and amalgams.

Mix@36

In the event that housetop bars are your thing, look no further. With a bar top that is LED-lit and part of an enormous sky-deck, this is the ideal afterparty place to air out a frosty one. Mix@36 has a pool table within and insane sundowners each Sundays from 5 to 8 pm, where you get an opportunity to appreciate the nightfall while chugging a few brews. The place unquestionably scores high with partygoers. Additionally, their beverages are named after artists and groups, making your mixed drink encounter a magnified one.

T-oaks

In case you're a '90s Pune kid, odds are T-oaks assumed a major part in your adventure to adulthood. We wager your clubbing scene was deficient without head slamming and scoring to an ace '80s/'90s shake playlist here. T-oaks joins class with nostalgic appeal. It's where your father celebrated with his companions until a couple of years back and wouldn't see any problems with going along with you for two or three beverages even at this point. The space is separated into three segments – the bar, the feasting region, and an in the open air area. While the bar has as of late introduced create lagers, their Barman's Pitcher keeps on being a group top choice!

High Spirits

This place has had a dedicated after since for quite a long time. It's the ideal spot to make you feel youthful once more, because of the group that frequents it. You may not get a table or even space to move, however stress not. The music and the fun vibe more than compensates for it. They have live exhibitions consistently and happen to be the most seasoned Indie music setting in the nation. Try not to miss the boozy picnic sessions each Sunday; and yes their Karaoke Tuesday Nights are as well disposed as they are enjoyable.

Effingut Brewerkz, Baner

Effingut Brewerkz has dependably been known for its warm, woody, European bar insides with a loco bend that are supplemented by bookshelves and a decision of table games to stay with you while you appreciate the crisply created blends. With a scope of 8-10 matured refreshments on the tap – lagers, juices produced using natural products, and meads from 100 for every penny natural nectar – alongside the honor winning mixes like Hefeweizen, Graperuit IPA and the Choco Coffee Stout, you are guaranteed of an extraordinary drinking knowledge! Click to Post

#Bars & Pubs #Pune Night Life #Pune Night Spots

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peterlorrefanpage · 3 years ago

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Peter Lorre Radio Show List

Peter Lorre had an exceptional body of work over the radio! You won’t want to miss his 1945 rendition of “The Tell-Tale Heart,” which you can also find here.

This is nowhere near an exhaustive list. I’ve started linking these up where I can find them - archive.org, YouTube, and oldtimeradiodownloads.com.

Abbott and Costello

Abbott and Costello 44-01-13 A Visit to Peter Lorre’s Sanitarium

Script for A Visit to Peter Lorre’s Sanitarium

Amos and Andy

Amos and Andy 43-11-05 The Locked Trunk’s Secret

Arch Oboler’s Plays

Arch Oboler’s Plays 39-12-16 “Nobody Died.” Peter Lorre possibly??

Arch Oboler’s Plays 45-05-24 - Peter Lorre speaks of a real horror.

Bertolt Brecht (Radioausstrahlung)

"Die Heilige Johanna der Schlachthoefe" (Saint Joan of the Slaughterhouses), Berlin, Nov 4, 1932. Peter plays brokers Sullivan Slift and Graham. Here’s a script (in English).

Big Show (Tallulah Bankhead)

Big Show (Tallulah Bankhead) 52-03-09 - this recording is split:

The Cask of Amontillado

"Who Did What to Fedalia."

Big Town

Big Town 49-04-26 The Hunter

Bing Crosby Show (Philco Radio)

Bing Crosby Show / Philco Radio 47-11-12 Peter Lorre And Kay Thompson "The Psychiatrist's Office"

Bob Hope

Bob Hope 47-05-13 Guest Peter Lorre Martha Tilton

Camel Caravan - scripts only

38-10-24 with Eddie Cantor; Mr. Moto promo segment

43-04-30 with Jack Carson and Susan Hayward

Command Performance

Command Performance 45-04-19 Peter Lorre, Sydney Greenstreet, Martha Stewart

Chesterfield Supper Club (Perry Como & Jo Stafford) - script only

46-10-21 Peter Lorre

Creeps By Night

Creeps By Night 44-06-20 Those Who Walk in Darkness

The Dinah Shore Show

Birdseye Open House 46-05-09 The Dinah Shore Show

Duffys Tavern

Duffys Tavern 43-10-19 Missing Salami Sandwich Case

Fred Allen

Fred Allen 39-10-04 The Search for Mr. Livingstone

Fred Allen / Texaco 43-01-03 The Missing Shot; One Long Pan vs Mr Moto

Inner Sanctum

Inner Sanctum 43-08-01 The Horla

Inner Sanctum 41-05-25 Death Is a Joker

Inner Sanctum 43-03-07 Black Sea Gull

Inner Sanctum 44-12-06 The Color Blind Formula

Jack Benny

Jack Benny 46-03-24 I Stand Condemned

Jack Benny 41-03-09 Murder At The Racquet Club

Martin & Lewis

Martin & Lewis Show 49-05-08 - with song, "Drop Dead, Little Darling, Drop Dead".

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse

Note: Lorre is the host, versus playing an actual role. His voice is, as ever, exquisite. Here is more background & a full log.

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 44-07-25 Fifty Candles

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 44-12-05 Crime To Fit Punishment

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 44-12-19 The Man In The Velvet Hat

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 44-12-26 The Letter

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 45-02-27 Yours Truly Jack The Ripper

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 45-03-06 The Man Who Murdered In Public

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 45-04-24 Cask Of Amontillado

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 45-10-12 A Death Is Caused

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 44-04-11 Criminal at Large

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 44-11-28 Nightmare

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 44-12-12 The Bottle Imp

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 45-01-30 Deadline at Dawn

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 45-05-15 Lady in the Morgue

Molle Mystery Theater / Mystery Playhouse 43-02-03 Case of the Backstage Murder

Mystery Playhouse / The Whistler 44-06-11 The Doctor Prescribes Death

Mr. and Mrs. North

Note: Lorre is the host, versus playing an actual role.

Mr. and Mrs. North 44-04-12 Gangster Douglas Grant (Peter Lorre at end with preview of Mr. District Attorney)

Mr. and Mrs. North 44-08-09 Pam Keeps Out Of Trouble

Mr. and Mrs. North 45-01-17 Frisbie Proves His Point aka Frisby Klisby Times Square Murder

Mystery in the Air

Mystery in the Air 47-08-07 06 The Great Barrastro

Script for The Great Barrastro

Mystery in the Air 47-08-14 07 The Lodger

Script for The Lodger

Mystery in the Air 47-08-21 08 The Horla

Script for The Horla

Mystery in the Air 47-08-28 09 Beyond Good and Evil

Script for Beyond Good and Evil

Mystery in the Air 47-09-04 10 The Mask Of Medusa

Script for The Mask of Medusa

Mystery in the Air 47-09-11 11 The Queen of Spades

Script for The Queen of Spades

Mystery in the Air 47-09-18 12 The Black Cat

Script for The Black Cat

Mystery in the Air 47-09-25 13 Crime and Punishment

Script for Crime and Punishment

Mystery In the Air - missing episodes, but here are the scripts:

47-07-03 The Tell-Tale Heart

47-07-17 The Touch of Your Hand

47-07-24 The Interruption

47-07-31 Nobody Loves Me

New Adventures of Nero Wolfe

New Adventures of Nero Wolfe 44-07-14 Last Laugh Murder

Nightmare

Nightmare 53-11-19 The Purple Cloud

Nightmare 53-11-26 Coincidence

Nightmare 54-02-03 Hollow Footsteps

Nightmare 54-03-31 Chance of a Ghost

Nightmare 54-04-07 The Leech

Nightmare 53-12-24 High Wire

Nightmare 54-04-14 The Hybrid

Philip Morris Playhouse

Philip Morris Playhouse 53-08-19 The Night Has a Thousand Eyes [This is a download link]

The Radio Hall of Fame

The Radio Hall of Fame 45-03-04 The Tell-Tale Heart

Screen Guild Theatre

Screen Guild Theatre 43-09-20 “The Maltese Falcon”

Screen Guild Theatre 45-04-16 “Mask of Dimitrios”

Screen Guild Theatre 48-05-24 “Casbah” - script only!

The Skippy Hollywood Theatre

The Skippy Hollywood Theatre 49-04-01 “Mr. God Johnson.”

Spike Jones

Spike Jones 48-12-10 Peter Lorre and Paul Frees.

Paul Frees is doing his Peter Lorre impression in “My Old Flame” and then Peter Lorre comes on!

Strange As it Seems

Strange As It Seems Ep34 (1934??) “Peter The Great Bans Beard.”

Suspense

Suspense 42-12-15 Till Death Do Us Part

Suspense 43-01-19 The Devils Saint

Suspense 43-04-20 Moment Of Darkness

Suspense 44-07-20 Of Maestro And Men

Suspense 43-12-23 Back For Christmas

Suspense 45-08-30 Nobody Loves Me

Texaco Star Theater

Texaco Star Theater 39-10-04 Tomorrow, and Tomorrow - Peter Lorre appears as Mr. Moto

More info on this

Find the entire ep on this disc

===

Search issues: “Peter Lorre” isn’t always mentioned in online details of the shows he was on, and search doesn’t always work well even when he is! It helps if you know the name/sponsor of the radio show. In a few cases I haven’t verified if Lorre really appeared, such as with that first Arch Oboler or Amos and Andy. Boris Karloff is also sometimes mistaken for Peter Lorre. :/

See also:

Peter Lorre Movie Timeline

Peter Lorre Television Show List

#peter lorre #peter lorre radio #peter lorre voice #peter lorre mystery #peter lorre my old flame #peter lorre comedy #peter lorre psychological terror #peter lorre spike jones #jack benny #peter lorre suspense

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jzwlinette256751-blog · 7 years ago

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brunchbeforebocce · 8 years ago

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Smug. Aloof. Imperious.

(Written by Dave Hoos & Max Nantes)

Mrs.Hoos: “Darling, I don’t feel like going for lunch today. Why don’t you go now?”

[Hoos spins his head towards the clock on the kitchen wall]

Hoos: “It’s only 11…you know what this means? It’s…

[Mrs.Hoos shrugs her shoulders with a puzzled expression]

…come on, come on.”

Mrs.Hoos: “Oh my, God, it’s Sunday br…”

Hoos: “Yes! Well played Darling. Sunday brunch…although…who shall join me? Nantes would normally, of course, but today he promised to take Ursula, that’s the estranged wife of his former neighbour, Oslo, for a private viewing of the Lemon Tart Appreciation Society’s exhibition of 19th century shoelaces. In particular, those used by Confederate soldiers during the civil war. Then, as a special treat, Nantes will perform a selection of specially chosen musical interludes on his Appalachian dulcimer. During that, the delightful Ursula, will delight the small gathering by performing a slow, seductive, strip-tease, that culminates in a demonstration on the correct method of employing a two-headed vibrator that plays “Also Sprath Zarathustra”.“

Mrs.Hoos: “How wonderful. I didn’t know he played?”

Hoos: “Didn’t you? He considers it a lost art. I’m inclined to agree. We often play for the chaps at the golf club, Nantes and I, if someone needs a bit of cheering up. Nantes, with his Appalachian dulcimer, and me with my mellotron. It’s wonderful after a bottle or so each of brunch riesling. Although some of the less fortunate among us are doing it…particularly tough, this time of year. Why Mortimer even had to let his…[visibly close to tears]…let his assistant groundskeeper go, and even…the French stable-maid.”

Mrs.Hoos: “Darling, why don’t you wear this [hands him a lovely blue, silk, short sleeved shirt]…I’ve just ironed it this morning?”

Hoos: “No!! [snatches the shirt and hurles it over the small waste paper basket on the little table next to the kitchen bench, knocking over a bottle of linseed oil]. I can’t wear that. Look at it. How on earth can I unbutton my sleeves while keeping them from being not rolled up if I’m wearing a short sleeved shirt?”

Mrs.Hoos: “Oh my goodness! I’m so sor…”

Hoos: “Shirts with short sleeves are for lunch. And should be worn by an ordinary man called Colin. You can’t expect me to wear that shirt Darling…it’s so half past three at the betting shop!”

——————–

[Hoos’ phone begins to ring]

Hoos: “Hello, this is Hoos, please speak clearly and with a vocabulary that is above standard level”.

Nantes: “Hoos, it’s Nantes…sorry to ring I know you were planning a jaunt to the Warren of the Narre in the South but my brunch senses are tingling and I was wondering if I could persuade you to change your plans and meet me for Sunday brunch”.

Hoos: “Nantes, but aren’t you taking…”

Nantes: “Yes Hoos, I was going to take Ursula for a private viewing of the Lemon Tart Appreciation Society’s exhibition of 19th century shoelaces, which I was most looking forward to attending. But an unforgettable and unforgivable event took place this morning”.

Hoos: “Please, do tell Nantes. My monogrammed silk phone cover is comfortable in my hand while I am reposed in my Chesterfield armchair”.

Nantes: “Fine, very well. It all happened this morning. There I was practising my Appalachian dulcimer in front of the mirror to make sure my smug and condescending smirk was in place, which it was and I was ready to go. I unbuttoned my sleeves on my new brunch shirt (it’s divine Hoos, I can’t wait for you to see it) and gave one last smug look to mirror when I noticed shockingly that I had one day of facial hair growth, as opposed to the customary four hour growth of facial hair you should have for brunch. But the worst part was I’d left all of my hair care products in my overnight bag which was left at Sven and Charlotte’s city penthouse where I stayed last night, I just couldn’t muster the strength of heading back to the leafy eastern suburbs after the three of us went to the Performing Arts Theatre to see the Gregorian Chants performance last night. You really should have come Hoos, I know you had to delegate the evening to ironing your pocket ties but it really was marvellous. Anyway…after seeing my face I rang Ursula to ask her to quickly go and buy some facial hair care products and bring them to me, there was no way I was going out with a day old growth in my brunch attire.”

Hoos: “Of course not, please go on.”

Nantes: “That’s when the nightmare began. After a short time Ursula knocks on my solid oak hand carved front door as I briskly go to meet her….Horror! (Clearly distressed voice) she had brought me a Gillete disposable razor and a can of shaving foam.”

Hoos: “(Audible gasping)”.

Nantes: “After wrapping it in a bag and throwing the items in the bin followed by washing hands, I put my stern face on and turned to her, she didn’t see the problem…Didn’t see the problem! I was looking for her guide dog. I asked why she hadn’t had brought me a single German steel blade razor that was sharpened in Switzerland by artisan blade-smiths attached to a Grenadilla wood handle, I mean where was the badger bristle soap brush on an ivory holder or the lime and coconut block of shaving soap in a teak wooden box…not forgetting the Creed-Aventus aftershave.”

Hoos: “I’m starting to sweat and shake, what did you do?”.

Nantes: “Well I was about to give up when Ursula told me to come on and get in her car, she will take me to the barber for a real shave. I looked bemused and informed her that Johaan’s grooming shop was closed every Sunday for Sunday brunch. Then she told me she knew another place and it’s basically on the way, I was nervous but I threw my arms up in the air exposing my wrists where the buttons were undone and got in the car. After a nervous trip where I mostly just admired my hickory brown loafers with tassels, we arrived, I couldn’t believe it….(painful voice) she had taken me to JustCuts where the window proclaimed a haircut and shave Sunday deal for $25. Apparently, I then passed out. The next thing I know, she was helping me get out of the car and inside my abode. And that sadly Hoos was the end of the friendship.”

Hoos: “Oh my, I don’t blame you. You were right it’s a nightmare of a story. But please brunch must go ahead and I shall come and pick you up immediately and take you to Octavia’s barber, he’s open for Sundays. Then where to go for brunch?”.

Nantes: “I don’t mind, anywhere to clear my head of the horrors I’ve witnessed today”.

————————————————————–

Nantes: “Do you still have a play around on your baritone dulcimer? I’m thinking about doing a little duet performance for the Borrowby Garden Party Brunch Sessions this Sunday?”

Hoos: “Well, if there’s no room to put my mellotron, I was thinking of bringing my carved top mandolin just in case. I think it would complement your appalachian dulcimer wonderfully. I of course, will have my baritone dulcimer standing my as well. There’s also a five string banjo that often comes in very handy, in case one of the diners gets hurt over a remark made about the cut of his suit.

I was thinking of borrowing Herbert’s accordion, but I don’t think it’s the right place.”

Nantes: “Herbert does love that accordion so, he would be devasted if some brunch riesling or pâté happened to smear it. I say go with the carved top mandolin, it will go together with my Appalchian dulcimer like ebony and ivory, like the sun and the moon, like frozen grapes and wine…ahh perfection.

I must ask, what happened to the silk short sleeved shirt that was hurled into the waste paper basket?”

Hoos: “Well, as you no doubt recall, in my thoroughly merited state of…shall we say, abject horror at being given such an inappropriate piece of cloth, my aim was a touch askew. My tossing hand proved more powerful than I gave it credit. For with a subtle flick of the wrist (who knew all that wrist and palm work would have proved so fruitful), it was summarily dispatched, well over the intended table top basket, and instead came crashing down on my favoured bottle of linseed oil, made by Állback of Sweden, of course. The bottle was, as distressing as it sounds, unopened…

I knew that time was of the essence. This magnificent, golden nectar was too good to leave dripping, like the sweat from an out of condition Welsh baroness (we’ll show her what that bridle and riding crop are really for…THWAAAACKKKK!!!), onto the breakfast room (soon to be renamed) floor, which, is at least wooden, so there’s a stroke of luck.

The magnificent golden nectar (unlike the turgid, orange hue of most common domestic brands), was about to be poured into my antique, but sturdy, 18th century French chamber pot. Then, under my meticulous supervision, Grayson - my batman - will instruct one of his underlings…Emmanuelle, I expect, to gently lower my collection of wooden spoons, salad tossers, door knobs, etc, into the bowl - two at a time - for the purpose of treating the items in question. We’ve all had to endure a late supper with untreated wooden spoons…ughh…it’s bordering on shameful. My man, Grayson, he knows his linseed oil. The last time my wood was treated by Emmanuelle’s oil soaked fingers, I couldn’t contain myself. “Lick it…”, I exclaimed, perhaps a tad too forcefully, “…tell me what it tastes like!”, as I pushed the large, rather cumbersome, piece of wood into her mouth. After what seemed like minutes of, I have to say, a rather exaggerated performance of gasping, panting, and even flailing her arms about the place, I removed the treated item. I submerged it once more, into it’s, almost serene, linseed bath. I removed it…glanced furtively at Grayson (who temporarily stopped dragging the unconscious Emmanuelle across the floor towards the staff infirmary), as he nervously wiped his brow, after first patting mine dry with a strip of cotton, which per chance just happened to be close at hand, in the guise of Emmanuelle’s blouse. I moved the wooden spoon ever closer. Then, I paused…with the spoon a mere four and three quarter inches from my nose, I felt it…a mouth watering, nutty aroma, which made me immediately hungry, despite the fact I hadn’t ordered the table set.

Now, the sudden appearance of this silk, short sleeved shirt and it’s devastating aftermath had thrown the household into a state of sheer panic. Luckily, as you well know, my dear Nantes, as we are cut from the same (pure silk) cloth, I have nerves of polished steel. Like a flash, for I knew time was of the essence, I rang the bell. How fortuitous I’d had one installed in the kitchen some five years ago. I spied the discarded silk shirt (short sleeved), laying like a soild, French harlot, next to the slowly expanding puddle of Állback’s wonderful linseed oil. “I can get the short sleeved (silk) shirt to soak up the glorious and appropriately expensive nectar, and then squeeze it back into the bottle”, I announcd triumphantly to myself.

I rang the bell again.

I was getting worried now. I glanced at the pool of spilt oil of linseed and the crumpled shirt (silk, short sleeved) beside it. I wisely took the only feasible course of action. I strode, with singular purpose, over to the wine fridge, selected a bottle appropriate for the heightened senses of the occasion and…poured myself a large glass. It wasn’t a moment too soon, either, let me tell you. For barely a moment after I finished the glass, in came my man Grayson, like a cork from a bottle of Château Lafite. Our eyes met. I motioned towards the ghastly scene on the wooden floor. He, although temporarily taken aback, swept up the hand made, silk (short sleeved) shirt, and began applying it rigorously to the misplaced linseed elixir. And wouldn’t you know it, Nantes, before you could say, ‘Sir Bernard Smythe-Obleston, has a smashing new drinks cabinet’, the deed was done, disaster averted, and our hitherto quite useless, short sleeved (silk) shirt, was the hero of the hour…well, third actually, behind Grayson and myself. Incidentally, I was so impressed by Grayson’s ability to futher delegate tasks to his numerous underlings, I’m thinking of having him come along on our next brunch outing, so he can butle for us both. Good wait staff are so hard to give drinks orders to at the moment.

I must get back to crest back mandolin practice, old chap. I’m afraid, even though musically it’s all rather fine, I appear to be letting the side down when it comes to my facial expression. Hubert, it transpires, was none too pleased and has ordered me to spend an extra twelve minutes a week playing - as you did - in front of the mirror. He simply wrote three words at the top of the page..

SMUG, ALOOF, IMPERIOUS

END

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kwebtv · 13 years ago

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