#Changsub imagine

[blu-joons]

When He Notices Your Baby Bump For The First Time ~ BTOB Reaction

Eunkwang:

“I can really see it now,” Eunkwang accidentally spoke aloud as he watched you walk around the apartment, getting a rare side view of you that allowed him to see your bump.

Your shoulders shrugged as a giggle escaped trying to figure Eunkwang out. “I’m hoping your talking about the bump and not my bum, it’s all getting big with this pregnancy.”

“Of course, I mean the bump, but the bum thing isn’t such a bad thing either.”

Your head shook at Eunkwang’s remark, a snigger coming from him as he knew he was pushing the boundaries. “You’re lucky I’m pregnant otherwise you’d be in big trouble for saying that to me Seo Eunkwang.”

“I can definitely see that you’re pregnant now,” Eunkwang chuckled, “I’ve blinked and suddenly you’re really pregnant Y/N.”

“I’ve not been faking it for the first few weeks,” you laughed in reply, “I’ve really been pregnant all this time you know.”

“But seeing it is different,” he whispered, “like there really is a little life there.”

“I know, our little life too.”

Minhyuk:

“Since when did you suddenly have such a prominent bump,” Minhyuk mumbled behind you, wrapping his arm over your waist as he cuddled up to you, waiting for his alarm.

You nuzzled back to press yourself against Minhyuk’s chest, “doesn’t it just feel like all of a sudden it’s really starting to show? A couple of days ago there was nothing there to feel.”

“It feels like the first proper sign that we’re having a baby, it’s finally sinking in.”

You hummed in agreement with Minhyuk as his hand traced over your bump, trying to encourage you to sleep for a few more minutes. “Just wait until we lay like this and you start feeling their little kicks.”

“Don’t,” Minhyuk chuckled, already feeling his stomach knot with excitement. “I can’t wait for what we’ve got to come our way Y/N.”

“Me too,” you smiled, closing your eyes as a yawn escaped from you. “Do you think we’re ready to have a baby Min?”

“It’s too late now,” he teased, “but I do. We make the best team in my opinion.”

“And in my opinion too.”

Changsub:

“There really is a bump there,” Changsub murmured as he came up behind you, snaking his arms around your waist and feeling against your tummy, catching the curve of your bump.

You tilted your head to look back at Changsub, looking at him in bemusement. “What did you think I was growing here? You sound surprised to realise that there’s a bump here.”

“It’s overwhelming being able to finally feel it for myself, not just hear about it.”

Changsub’s hands continued to move around your stomach as he searched to find out all of the little features of your bump. “How do you think you’ll be in a few months when my bump sticks out so far?”

“I think I could cry already,” Changsub honestly admitted, “I think the best way to describe how I’ll be in a while is just a complete mess.”

“You can’t cry on me, my hormones are all over the place and can’t be dealing with you,” you joked, hitting against his arm.

“We can cry together,” Changsub suggested, “this poor baby will be a wreck.”

“What are we going to do Sub?”

Hyunsik:

“Wow,” you heard Hyunsik whisper as you massaged your hands over your bump, rubbing around it in circles as you tried your best to keep it moisturised. “It’s really there now.”

A chuckle came from you as Hyunsik commented on his observation. “You know this bump has been here for a good few weeks now, it’s not just magically appeared like nothing.”

“I’d never really spotted it before, but watching you then I could really see it.”

You smiled widely across at Hyunsik, enthused by the excitement that was so clear in his voice as he watched on. “It’s already getting so big to care for, who knows what I’ll be like taking care of this in a few months.”

“You’ve got me to help you,” Hyunsik reminded you, offering you a wide grin, “you’ll be fed up with me sticking around that bump of yours.”

“No way,” you protested with a laugh, “these days I think I’ll be glad of all the support that I can get in a couple of months' time.”

“I bet you’ll get annoyed,” Hyunik vowed, “you’ll be kicking me out of the house.”

“I bet that’ll never happen.”

Peniel:

“I can see it,” Peniel suddenly announced as you lifted your shirt over the top of your head, brows furrowing as you looked to him in confusion whilst getting your pyjama shirt.

You’d not seen Peniel’s smile so wide in a long time as he refused to look away from you. “What can you see?” You asked him, not making sense of what was going on at all.

“I can see your bump, just then, I could really see the definition at the bottom.”

You glanced down to your bump, cupping underneath it exactly where Peniel had noticed it beginning to show. “This past week it's grown loads, I’ll be huge in a matter of days at the rate I’m growing.”

“I’m so excited,” Peniel whispered as you placed your new shirt on before walking across to the bed, taking a seat right beside Peniel.

“It feels a bit more real now being able to actually see it,” you whispered, deciding to rest your head against Peniel’s shoulder.

“I’ll take care of you,” he promised, “and this ever growing bump at the same time too.”

“We’re both very lucky with you.”

Sungjae:

“Look at you,” Sungjae chimed as he watched you walk down the stairs in your dress for the evening, unable to hide his smile as he noticed a hint of your bump showing through.

As you looked to Sungjae you followed his gaze to where he was looking. “It’s a little tighter than I wanted it to be, I don’t think I’ll be able to hide my bump tonight though.”

“I don’t want you to hide your bump, I want to show it off to everyone who’s there.”

A chuckle came from you as Sungjae closed the distance between the two of you, wrapping his arm around your waist. “Half of my wardrobe isn’t going to fit me soon, it’s already a bit of a struggle to find something.”

“Don’t worry,” Sungjae whispered, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “you could wear anything and you’d still look beautiful in my opinion Y/N.”

“You have to say that,” you jokingly challenged, “I’m pregnant with your baby, if you’re mean to me then I’ll make sure I get my revenge.”

“I’m being serious,” he assured you, “you look even better now your bump is showing too.”

“It’ll take a while to get used to this.”

---

Masterlist

[bangtanboyz22]

hiiii

can you do a 2+8+9(list3) lee changsub?

tks

I finally had some time to write this!!

Pairing: Lee changsub x reader

2. “You’re kind of cute, you know…only kinda.”

8. "We can do anything you want to do today."

9. "I'm cold. Can you warm me up?"

---------------------------------------------------------------------

It was a cold winter day when Changsub messaged you asking if you wanted to hang out for the day. Him being your best friend and crush of course you said yes. Changsub responded to be ready in half an hour so you rushed to get ready and sure enough, he arrived in half an hour.

"Hello love, what do you want to do today?" he asked as soon as you got into the car.

"We can do anything you want to do today" you responded with a smile after buckling.

He ended up taking you to your favorite restaurant and all your favorite places before going to the park to enjoy a nice little stroll with the light snow.

You thought he wasn't looking and were trying to catch some snowflakes on your tongue and hands. Once you heard him chuckle a little, you knew you were caught so you blushed looking away.

"You're kind of cute, you know...only kinda" he told you before the two of you decided to sit down on a bench for a little bit. The two of you lost track of time sitting there talking with each other and before you knew it, it was dark outside and slightly colder than before.

"I'm cold. Can you warm me up?" you asked him expecting him to laugh and say something sarcastic. He wrapped his arms around you before rubbing your arms. He then started showing some signs that he was nervous so you sat up a little more before turning to him.

"I've liked you for a little while now and I don't know if you feel the same but you've been my best friend that I have feelings for," he told you taking your hands into his. You sat there in shock for just a little bit before confessing back to him. The two of you then walked back to the car hand in hand with smiles on your faces.

[ateeznoa]

RELATIONSHIPS | OUTSIDE ATEEZ.

red velvet yeri

• besties for the resties

• bffls

• her first friend when she joined sm

• yeri truly got noa to come out of her shell

• they have friendship rings

• believe it or not, they’ve even been embroiled in a dating scandal

• that’s how close they are

seventeen seungkwan

• if there was ever a person that trolled her more than anything

• it’s seungkwan

• no lie, when she first met him, she thought he was the leader of svt

• imagine her surprise when she realized the dude who talks so much and presents himself so much isn’t the leader

• *surprised pikachu face*

• you remember that jeju island jingle…yeah he hates it because of her now

viviz sinb

• seungkwan was the perfect segway into these two meeting

• hit it off almost immediately due to their mutual disdain of seungkwan (im totally kidding guys, they love kwannie)

• had seungkwan not introduced them, noa never would have had the guts to say anything to sinb

• has been a fan of sinb since gfriend

• sinb thinks that noa just shines in ateez. wants to be the very first feature on noa’s future solo

btob changsub

• lol, there has to be something in the water with btob

• they do what they do best and that’s attracting fanboys and fangirls

• noa has literally been a fan of btob since debut

• so when they were on kingdom together, noa almost lost her shit

• he introduced himself because he could tell she was too nervous to say anything

• he was so sweet to her too

• the boys thought it was funny because here’s noa meeting her bias of her favorite group and he’s asking to be her friend

• he made her feel so relaxed and even let her drop honorifics

• truly adopted her as a little sister and brought her under his wing

lee know

• wooyoung likes to say that noa gathered admirers during kingdom

• and yes, lee know is one of them (well lee know and all of 3racha)

• they got along well due to their mutual love for dancing

• they didn’t have a lot of interactions with each other

• once again, nosy wooyoung says it’s because they were too shy to interact

• the little interactions they did have were cute though, like when noa congratulated skz when they won

• the first person she hugged was lee know

• they may or may not like each other (i won’t elaborate any further)

the boyz q

• remember noa’s admirers….

• well q is one of them

• dude was MESMERIZED by noa

• dude was so mesmerized that he had no intentions of introducing himself to her in fear that he might embarrass himself

• leave it to his trusty maknae eric to embarrass him

• noa thought q was really sweet

• they get along well

• they’ve exchanged numbers and hang out when they have free time

• purely a platonic relationship

sabrina carpenter

• YOU MEAN DA DOLL?????

• omg sabrina thought noa was GORGE

• sabrina downright enjoyed ateez’ coachella stages and had to meet the pretty girl that had her drawn in from the beginning

• noa thought it was so cool how much of a fan sabrina had become in such a short time

• they exchanged numbers and now they talk all the time

• noa is pretty sure her english has gotten ten times better since meeting sabrina

• and that’s facts

[lovericky]

I need more btob fanfiction, PLEASE. IM ON MY HANDS AND KNEES BEGGING. they are my favorite group rn, and i have read all their fanfiction on here. also, i need more melody friends

[kangyeosaang]

BTOB · 나의 바람 (wind and wish) teaser #2

[kpopjust4u]

I’m always here

Post Date: 10th March 2023 Content: Fluff - BtoB Changsub x GN!Reader WC: 1K TW?: Colleagues/ Coworker!Changsub/ Two curse words Request?: Yes

Masterlist                                    Prompt list

Prompts: 8 - “Did you mean to say that?” 17 - “I care for you” 45 - “Please don’t cry”

Just another day in the office, another day where you're ready to slam your head against your desk.

It wasn't that you hated the job itself, the pay was pretty decent, and you got on with your colleagues, but the customers you have to deal with over the phone regularly test your patience. No matter how hard you try to be polite and patient with them, they push every button.

"Please bare with me, I am only trying to help you." You sigh down the phone at the customer screaming at you down the other end, in fact bursting your eardrum with how loud they are.  

Opposite you, your coworker, Changsub, looks at you with worry plastering his face, watching how your eyes well up with tears. You massage your temple as you try to get a word in but the customer on the phone doesn't give you a chance to even open your mouth.

"I'm sorry. I'll transfer you to another person who'll be able to help you better." You manage to get out, nodding at another coworker from across the room who picks up their phone, taken back by the rage they receive.

"Y/N..." Changsub calls out in a whisper, but you're in your own head, unable to hear him with your hands covering your ears as your head hands low, looking at the keyboard beneath you. Holding back the tears that sting the corners of your eyes.

Shifting from behind his own desk, he moves to your side, kneeling beside you. "Y/N. Let's go take your lunch break." He smiles at you, takes your hand and pulls you away from your desk.

The best thing about working with Changsub was the fact that he's best friends with the manager and owner of the place, and puts them in their rightful place when they try to debate about mental health in the workplace. Thanks to him, if anyone gets stressed and needs five minutes, they wouldn't be scolded for it.

This has made the workplace much easier to cope with, and nicer to be in with everyone understanding that someone may just need a minute to collect themselves before going back to work.

Mainly more you than anyone else does Changsub actually cares for. He couldn't help it. Though he knows you only see him as a coworker and a friend at best, he couldn't help but have feelings for you. He knows he's out of your league so he doesn't try.

Gently nudging you into the break room, he closes the door behind him, letting you take a seat across the room, arms folded in front of your chest as you try to keep a steady breath. To stop the tears from escaping.

"Customer's are pains in the arse today, huh?" He lightly scoffs, handing you a freshly made cup of coffee that you grab off him, smiling up at him as a gesture of gratefulness.

"Could say that again. He didn't want to listen to me..." You shrug, thinking it's best to put up a wall against how you actually felt, not to add your own issues to Changsub's own struggles, "Maybe I'm not fit for this job at all, I can't handle the customers."

Changsub takes a seat next to you, shaking his head and placing a gentle hand over yours, "Don't say that, Y/N. You're one of the best, hard-working people here."

You briefly look at him, forcing a smile and shrug. You want to believe that what he's said is true but you honestly feel as though you'd be better off somewhere else.

At this point, you can't help but let the tears fall, unable to hold them back as you break down, placing the coffee on the table so you could hide your face behind your hands, apologising to Changsub for crying.

"Please don't cry. The customer's aren't worth the tears, don't let them hurt you and the beautiful soul you have..." He softly coos at you, pulling you into his light grasp, an arm around your shoulder as you bury your face in his arm, "Honestly, you're one of the reasons why we're still in business."

"I'm not. You are." You quip back with a little giggle, looking up at him as you go to try and wipe a tear off your cheek, but he beats you to it. Face soft with a gentle, reassuring smile.

He couldn't help but laugh at your comment, shrugging, "Okay, maybe if I didn't put my foot down to make sure people actually got to have a quick break to calm themselves down from dealing with assholes over the phone then maybe we wouldn't be in business." He replies back, exaggerating the word 'maybe'.

"But I care about you more than anyone else, Y/N. We'd be lost without you here. I'd be lost without you here." He shyly adds, watching your face contort with confusion at his words.

Choking on yours, you flutter your eyes at him, mouth opening to go to say something but nothing comes out, yet again but for another reason.

"Did- Did you mean to say that?" You stutter, watching the blush appear on his face, stuttering himself as he unconsciously takes your hand into his, caressing the back of it with his thumb. 

“Yeah, I guess I did.” He replies quietly, unable to keep eye contact with you as he looks at your hands, watching how your body moves closer to him, head resting in the crook of his neck. 

Feeling the warmth of your body pressed against his, his arm wraps around your shoulder, pulling you in for a tighter hug, gently resting his cheek on your head.

"Are you feeling better now? You ready to go back?" He asks, scoffing to clear his throat first before helping you up to your feet even though you were more than capable.

Nodding at him lightly, you smile at him, taking back his hand that disappears from yours, pulling him back towards you before he could take another step towards the door.

"I never got to say thank you..." You shyly fidget on the spot, pulling his hand back around you, but this time your waist, "Thank you."

"Seriously it's no-" He tries to speak, stunned when your lips press against his cheek, lightly pecking it before leaving the room, smiling and giggling.

"Come on, you have work to do." You lean back around the door for him, smiling with the brightest smile ever, his favourite smile in the world.

~

Tags: @scuzmunkie, @ateezreactionsandscenarios, @trashlord-007, @fanfictrashlord-007, @icyllic​

[etherealyoonghwa]

Btob Recommendations

Minhyuk

The Fan Meet @blu-joons

My Ideal Type @blu-joons

Ot6

When He Carries An Item Specifically For You @blu-joons

[commajade]

they're looking for the broadcasting club and find a small dance practice room and knock on it and there's a single guy in there and when he opens the door u can see his entire thought process

first he sees the camera and he's like !!!????!!!

then he sees changsub and he's like !!!!????!!!!

then he sees key and he's like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

imagine being a nerd that got into seoul national university and being in the dance club and practicing popping just by urself over winter break and u open the door and see 2 idols who dance as their job, esp key cuz his dance clips go viral every week they're even shown on buses

[ilhoonftw]

I hope one day your BtoB polls will infact include some fake options 😭 like some of these had me so surprised, how do you leave Peniel at a convenience store and Changsub being a pro skater like whaaaat I literally cannot imagine him doing that especially with his vocals 😭 that's so crazy

😭😭😭 bestie it best part of that v live is when eunkwang finally realised they lost peniel 😭

the main reason changsub didn't go pro is he kept getting injured, his mom was super worried about him wanting to drop out of school 😭 then he started winning singing competitions so he switched gears and later on ended getting into this super prestigious university music course, in the same year as hyunsik so they were classmates

[blu-joons]

When He Calls You Mine ~ BTOB Reaction

Eunkwang:

You wore a nervous smile as you were greeted by some of Eunkwang’s family, not recognising any of them. “And who are you?” One of them asked as they went over to greet Eunkwang.

“This is Y/N,” he proudly smiled, wrapping his arm around your waist, “she’s actually mine, Y/N is my partner auntie.”

Her smile turned up as she met your eyes, “it’s lovely to meet you Y/N,” she told you, her smile genuine and her eyes bright as she then looked across to Eunkwang.

“It’s lovely to meet you too,” you smiled back across to her.

After a few moments, his aunt walked away, leaving you and Eunkwang alone again. “They’ll be a lot of introductions today,” he warned you.

“You’re not going to keep telling everyone that I’m yours, are you?” You asked Eunkwang, letting go of a chuckle when his head nodded in reply to you.

“You are mine,” he reminded you, pressing a kiss to your cheek, “it’s not making you shy hearing me call you mine by any chance?”

“A little,” you smirked, “it’s just around your family too, it feels like a pretty big deal.”

“I’m just being honest with them.”

Minhyuk:

A lump ran down your throat as you felt a presence just beside you at the bar, looking around in a bit of a panic. “What are you doing all by yourself?” The figure soon asked you.

“I’m waiting for my boyfriend,” you told them, avoiding eye contact with them, “he’s just gone for a couple of minutes.

A snigger came from the guy beside you, “I’ve heard that trick before, pretend you’ve got a boyfriend because you don’t want the guy to speak to you, right?”

“Hey, she’s mine,” a voice called out, as if on cue.

Your eyes looked past the guy’s shoulder to see Minhyuk with his arms folded across his chest. “Is it still a trick?” You asked him confidently.

“I’m sorry,” Minhyuk whispered across to you as the guy backed away, walking straight over to you and wrapping his arms tightly around your frame.

“It’s not your fault,” you hummed as you rested against Minhyuk’s shoulder, letting go of a bit of a sigh of relief to be with him.

“No one talks to what’s mine,” he told you. “There’s no way he’d have had a shot with you.”

“He’s not as good as you anyway.”

Changsub:

His eyes watched as Minhyuk grabbed you, pulling you across to sit beside him on the sofa. “Hey, Y/N’s mine,” Changsub called out to him as he watched Minhyuk take you.

“Y/N’s on my team,” Minhyuk responded, but Changsub’s head shook as he reached forwards too to pull you back to him.

You didn’t quite know what to do as both of your arms were held onto, “you said earlier that you wanted to be on Hyunsik’s team, so I’ll take Y/N onto my team.”

“That was before I knew Y/N was playing,” Changsub argued.

A sigh came from you as you looked between the two of them, “maybe it’s best if I go on Changsub’s side, why don’t you take Hyunsik instead?”

“Sure,” Minhyuk agreed, unable to bring himself to look across at Changsub, unable to imagine how smug the smile was that he wore, “I’m happy with Hyunsik.”

“I knew you’d come and play with me,” Changsub proudly smiled as Minhyuk dropped your arm, “Y/N prefers me to you Minhyuk.”

“Hey,” you scolded, “I’m only on your side so no one has to deal with you pouting.”

“I never pout, what do you mean?”

Hyunsik:

The eyes of the boys watched you both as you and Hyunsik walked into the studio with your hands intertwined. “Is this…have you guys…are you finally together now?”

“I finally asked Y/N to be mine,” Hyunsik laughed, raising your hands up in response to Sungjae’s stuttering question.

The volume in the studio quickly picked up as the boys cheered for you both, “it’s about time, we thought you two were just going to be in denial together forever.”

“We were never in denial,” you laughed at Eunkwang.

His eyebrows raised questionably back across at you, “we were starting to bet whether we’d have to force you guys together instead.”

“We weren’t that bad,” Hyunsik chuckled, “but you’ll all be pleased to know that we’re together, and you guys don’t have to pull any of your stupid pranks.”

“Agreed,” you spoke up, “you guys have been far from subtle in trying to do things to bring the two of us together.”

“You noticed,” Minhyuk sniggered, “we just wanted you guys to be together.”

“And at last, here we are.”

Peniel:

You were tentative as Peniel walked back across to you after greeting a few of his fans. “Are you alright?” Peniel asked you as he quickly realised how distant you were.

“They’re a lot,” you told him, nodding in the direction of his fans, “it’s not really my kind of style I guess with them.”

Peniel nodded as he reached across and took a hold of your hand, “some of the fans do like to try and be a little bit flirty, I never quite know what to do myself.”

“They definitely like you,” you muttered under your breath.

A sigh came from Peniel as he tried to bring your eyes back to him, “you’re mine, none of them, let them do whatever they want to do.”

“I know,” you weakly smiled, glancing up and meeting Peniel’s eyes, “it’s just such a weird thing to watch, all these fans throwing themselves at you.”

“I wish there was more that I could do to stop them,” he admitted, “but you know that I’m with you, you’re the one I want.”

“I do,” you agreed, “like you told me, I’m the one that gets to be yours, right?”

“Exactly, you’re mine Y/N.”

Sungjae:

You didn’t quite know where to look as one of Sungjae’s managers cornered you, wanting to know who you were. “I’m here with Sungjae,” you nervously stuttered to them.

“Are you though?” They challenged, firmly glancing down at you, “do you know how many people like to say that.”

As he fell silent, a voice cleared from behind them. “Y/N’s mine,” a familiar voice told them, watching on as the confidence that was in his manager fell apart.

“Oh, I see, sorry,” he told you, stepping aside for you.

Sungjae immediately made his way over to you, draping his arms over your shoulders. “I’m sorry I didn’t come and find you Y/N.”

“It’s alright,” you sighed, resting your head against Sungjae’s shoulder. “I really thought that I wasn’t going to be allowed backstage for a second there.”

“Like I told him, you’re mine,” Sungjae proudly smiled, “there’s no way that I wouldn’t find a way to bring you in here.”

“Thank you,” you chuckled, “it feels pretty good to hear you call me mine too you know.”

“You better get used to it.”

---

Masterlist

[riversonfire]

2, 5, 13, 20 for Pentagon ~

2. How did you decide on your bias?

Well, I was a casual fan of Pentagon for the longest time and during that time, based on what I knew of the members, hongseok was my favorite/bias bc he fits my bias type (tall, muscular, cute, sexy). But after kino's appearance on hyunsik's radio show, I fell in love with him and reassessed everything in my life lol not exactly but it caused me to take the leap to stan Pentagon and after further research, I realized kino is my bias (I also love kind, super creative, cute, talented dancers lol)💖

5. What is your favorite era?

Musically- Daisy/Feelin' Like. Conceptually- Dr. Bebe (I LOVE dark, sexy concepts 🔥)

13. Who would be your best friend and why?

Oh gosh. I imagine it'd be hongseok or kino. honk would be my workout buddy while I'd just chill and hang out in kino's studio as he makes music or he'd be my art gallery buddy 😌 Or maybe shinwon just because he reminds me of changsub (btob)- the type who'd make me laugh all the time and be very trustworthy.

20. Favorite live performance?

I haven't watched nearly enough of their performances tbh but I'd choose either yeoone/kino doing taemin's move or this. Someone in my NCT 127 group chat showed me this kingdom performance and you wouldn't believe the way I CRIED (at work too lmao) 😭

OH and I almost forgot- THE BLACK HALL!!! 🔥

Send me a K-POP group and a number!

[oraclekleo]

thx for answering my question and thx for always taking your time to do so 😗

So im asking my question differently. Who in your opinion could play joker in a movie?

My favourites would be Taeyong, Key and Jooheon 🤔

Hmm...

I agree with Key.

However, I can also imagine Hongjoong (Ateez) or Moonbin (ASTRO) or Changsub (BtoB) or Hwanwoong (ONEUS) or Eunhyuk (Super Junior) or Ayno (VAV) or actor Lee Min Ki as Joker. Each one of them would make a special Joker. 😁

[bangtanboyz22]

Hello, can you do a 7+8 (PrompList1) BtoB Lee ChangSub?

Thanks

Pairing: Lee ChangSub x reader

#7: "You look really cute in that sweater."

#8: "I can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

The two of you were getting ready to go out to eat with the rest of the group. You were struggling to find a shirt that you wanted to wear until you caught a glimpse of one of ChangSub's sweaters. Once you put it on and were satisfied with how you looked, you made your way to where he was sitting on the couch scrolling through his phone.

"Wow! You look really cute in that sweater," he said smiling at you. At first you could tell that he hadn't noticed it was his sweater. Recognition flows through him making his eyes go a bit wider.. "Wait, isn't that my sweater?" he asks you touching the material.

"Yes I couldn't find anything I wanted to wear and saw your sweater that looked really comfy," you began explaining to him why you chose to wear his sweater and not a shirt of your own. Before you could go on and explain further he brought you into a kiss.

"It's okay I like seeing you in my clothes. Let's get going before we're late." he said kissing your forehead before taking your hand and leading you out to the car.

Once the two of you were in the restaurant and were about halfway through your meal, you felt him lean over to whisper in your ear.

"I can't believe you're actually wearing my clothes." he told you before kissing your cheek and rubbing his hand up and down your arm. You blushed a bit in return not expecting him to whisper that in your ear. The two of you then finished your meal with the boys before heading back home to relax before going to bed with you still in his sweater.

[vitaminbtob]

I had so much fun working on this video 🙈 hope you guys enjoy it too 💙

**********************************************

[Like/reblog if use 🌸 Please don't repost]

[inspired-by-the-music]

The Gentleman (Changsub)

requests are encouraged! please read my guidelines before submitting your request!

Genre: slight angst, fluffy ending! best friends to lovers

Word Count: 849

You were an understanding person, so when your unofficial boyfriend stood you up, you warily accepted his explanation that he had forgotten about your date.

“Even if that’s true,” your best friend spoke after taking a loud sip of coffee, “and believe me, I really doubt it’s true, you should still break up with him. How could anyone be dumb enough to forget about dating you?”

Deep down, you knew Changsub liked you— no, you knew he loved you, and that love motivated all of his actions. And deep down, past the fear of feeling something so real, you knew that if soulmates exist, Changsub was yours. 

Still, you responded, “He gets one more chance. And if he wastes it, I’ll move on.” 

“Whatever,” Changsub frowned and dropped his fork onto his plate. When the clatter compelled you to look at him, Changsub begged, “Will you be so understanding of me when it’s my turn to love you?”

How would you have reacted if Changsub hadn’t rushed out of the cafe, carelessly forgetting his coat?

Most of the time, he was so funny, but the way he glanced back at you before opening the door with a thrilling chime of the bells— there was no hint of laughter, only eyes darkened and lips weighed down with sadness. 

Did you like anyone enough to justify breaking Changsub’s heart? No; and you especially didn’t feel so strongly about that guy who so easily forgot about your dinner plans. 

Just thinking of how you hadn’t been upset enough by his actions to make last minute movie plans with Changsub that night, it was obvious that you had fallen in love with your best friend. But did he have to look so crushed for you to acknowledge your feelings? 

When you typed out your breakup with the guy you hadn’t even dated once, you didn’t expect him to reply just seconds later to confess that he didn’t really like you that much from the beginning. But that mild embarrassment and discomfort didn’t compare to how you felt minutes later when, while walking away from the cafe in Changsub’s coat, you saw Changsub scolding your now ex-almost-boyfriend. 

Through the window, you watched Changsub tower over him and some girl. Even before you walked into the restaurant to collect him, you could hear him yelling, “You didn’t deserve to have her attention for even a minute!”

“Not when you’ve been waiting for her for years?” The guy challenged. Noticing you approaching, and with Changsub effectively silenced, he said, “Don’t sweat it, man. You’ve got a chance with Y/N— we just called it quits a few minutes ago, right Y/N?”

When Changsub whirled around to follow his gaze, he blushed at the sight of you. “A few minutes isn’t long enough to find a new girlfriend,” he mumbled. 

You pretended not to notice Changsub’s blush or his remark, refused to give into the urge to spit in your ex’s face, and focused on saying, “Yeah. It turns out my best friend is right about a lot of stuff.”

“Ooooh, best friend.” Your ex clapped, laughing. “Hear that, Changsub? You’re at least in the friend zone.”

As even Changsub’s ears burned red while more people turned to observe the dispute, the other girl grumbled, “Why are you being such a jerk?” And she apologized to you and Changsub before storming out of the restaurant. 

“See what you did?” Your ex glared at you and Changsub before bumping past you to chase after her. 

“What a loser.” You rolled your eyes as you rubbed at the shoulder he ran into on his way out. “C’mon Changsub— that’s out queue to get out of here.”

The two of you walked in uncomfortable silence for a few minutes before Changsgub finally dared to ask, “You broke up with him? Even though you said you’d give him another chance?”

“Yeah— it turns out I didn’t like him enough to forgive him,” you shrugged. “Oh— you left your jacket—” 

Changsub stopped you from taking it off. “Just wear it, Y/N— it’s kind of cold out here.”

Having fully acknowledged your feelings for him, you blushed at the gesture. “In hindsight, I know I made the right choice.”

“Because he was dating some other girl?”

“Well, kind of.” You stuttered, wrestling with how you should confess your feelings. “You know, I’m a lot more into gentlemen: the kind of guy who is willing to yell at someone in a restaurant to defend me, and let me wear his jacket when it’s only kind of cold, and remind me when I deserve better.”

“You always deserve better.” Changsub studied your expression before brushing his hand against yours. He gasped when you laced your fingers with his, but he managed to say, “You’ll always deserve better.”

You shook your head. “No, there’s nobody better than you.” Then, suddenly embarrassed by your boldness, you quietly added, “To answer your question from the cafe— I’ll always understand you as long as you love me.”

“Guess you’ll be understanding me for a very long time.”

[killingmebtob]

I Have To Go // Lee Changsub

Title: I Have To Go

Author: @killingmebtob // Sara

Characters: Changsub and Reader

Rating: G

Summary: I wanted to turn back, to run back. I couldn’t because I also had a duty to fulfill as a soldier of this country.

Author’s Note: I’ve finished it! Hoorah! I hope you like it. I miss Changsub. AND HE LOOKS SO GOOD IN THE PHOTO. It also inspired this thing you’re about to read.

---

One of the things that give us a sense of pride is our duty to our country. Just like most of us, that duty continuously motivates me to push myself harder while performing my mandatory service. It was one of the things we learned in training camp: to put our all into what we were being trained to become not only for ourselves but also for our loved ones and our country.

But it wasn’t easy.

Trainings were not just physically exhausting but mentally as well. Staying away from our families and friends made the experience more difficult as well. Communication with them was rare. There were days when we wanted to call home to feel reenergized and to hear how they were doing to pull us through our toughest days but we weren’t allowed to do so. That’s why we cherished our vacation leaves. It was the only time that we truly get to spend with them.

However, everything started to change.

What was once a peaceful land became one that was subjected to war.

Every waking moment became riddled with fear. Fear for our country, fear for our families, and fear for our fellow soldiers. Underneath it all, even if most of us tried not to show it, there was also a fear for ourselves and our assignments. Fear that we might never get to see the people we cared for.

With a war ongoing, none of us knew if and when we were going to be called out to the frontlines. We may be serving a mandatory service but we’re still part of the country’s military power. We may not be the first in line to head out onto the battlefield but we were on the list. It was just a matter of time until we were going to be called out. No one was safe from it.

As the number of soldiers in our camp lessened, it was getting harder to keep holding on to my sense of duty. Many times, I’ve wanted to pack my things and head to the confines of my home. Many times, I wanted to rip off the patches on my uniform and leave my military life behind.

Then it came in the form of a letter.

Wobbly and sweaty hands opened the sealed crisp envelope. My heartbeat was drumming loudly in my ears. I thought that it was going to jump out of my chest with how fast it was beating. A shaky breath escaped my lips as I pulled a crisp, white paper out.

//

I thought that I was ready. I assumed that I’ve conditioned myself and my mind enough for what was happening. However, no amount of preparation could’ve prepared me for the world of pain that I had to endure. The moment she shakily opened her mouth as tears started forming in her eyes, my world had collapsed.

I wanted to hold her, to assure her that it was going to be okay—that I was going to be okay—but I couldn’t. I stood frozen because I knew no words could ever take away the fear and the pain that she was experiencing.

“Why?” She finally found her voice. It shook and it was almost inaudible. I wouldn’t have heard her if not for the silence that was wrapped around us. “Why you? Why does it have to be you?”

The only thing I could do was lower my head. I didn’t know why and even if I did have the answer, I wouldn’t have been able to bring myself to say it and break her even more. All I knew was it was something irreversible, unless an unforeseen event occurs.

“It’s my duty,” I replied but to my ears, it was as if I was convincing myself. My usual conviction and pride weren’t there. At that moment, the word duty felt too much to carry on my shoulders. “It’s my duty as a soldier of this country.” I continued but even that statement was mechanical.

“Duty?” She scoffed. “Then what about your duty to me? To your family? You’re just going to set it aside because your country called on you? Are we less important than your country? You’re only serving mandatory service and you’re about to finish in a few months!”

I could feel her anger and her fear seeping through her words, no matter how selfish they sounded. They were like knives digging into my skin and deep into my bones. I knew that she didn’t mean to compare. I knew that the words coming from her lips were becoming unfiltered the more we stood in our living room.

“I have to go,”

“That’s all you can say? You’re not even going to try to appeal to whoever decided to send you out?” She ran her fingers through her hair as she started to pace in front of me. Her lips twisted into a frown, eyes confused and frantic.

“I don’t want to leave you and my family but I have to go. Please, you have to understand that I’m doing this so I can help protect this country, most importantly you.”

That statement about protection that we were repeatedly taught and told had been so deeply engrained in my soul that it was the only thing I could defend myself with. Yet, it left a bitter taste on my tongue.

“You don’t have to go to the frontlines to protect me!” she raised her voice. “You also have to understand that I’d rather have you here safe and away from the battlefield. There are so many other people who can go in your place. It doesn’t have to be you.”

I kept silent as I watched her start biting on her nails. I wanted to reach out to her and hold her still. I wanted to hold her tightly and closely to my chest but the moment I took a step closer, her hardened eyes shifted to me, making my knees lock. She continued to pace.

“You know that I can’t do anything about their decision,” I pleaded with her. It was my last saving grace in this situation. I was desperate to get her to understand that I was just following what my superiors told me to do. After all, who was I to go against their orders? I may be serving mandatory service but that didn’t exempt me from my title as a soldier.

“Have you even tried?!” At that, she stopped walking and faced me. “Huh? Have you tried, Changsub?”

I bit my tongue, not wanting to say anything wrong. I was threading on thin ice and one wrong statement would break that surface.

She sighed in exasperation as she shook her head. “I can’t believe this,” she uttered. “When are they making you leave?”

In three days, my mind answered but my lips were sewn shut. If she knew that I was getting deployed on Monday, she would break. However, I couldn’t hide that from her. She had to know. She deserved to know. Then maybe we can spend the rest of the days cherishing the last few moments we had together until I return.

…If I return.

“When?” She continued to press.

I deeply exhaled and shakily answered, “Monday.”

A flurry of emotions crossed her features as we stared at each other. Neither of us spoke a word for a full minute. Neither made a move nor a sound. Then she scoffed and rolled her eyes. With a shake of her head, she turned her back towards me.

“I can’t do this,” she stated and walked towards the couch. I kept my eyes on her slouched figure that sat quietly. Once in a while, she would heavily sigh.

My gut twisted and my heart clenched in pain. I could barely feel anything aside from that. I was lost. I didn’t know what to tell her to make it better because I knew that there was nothing I could say that would make her feel at ease. Despite having no words for her, I moved to sit beside her but she scooted a few inches away.

A sigh left my lips as I did my best not to let it get to me.

“Hey,” I softly and gently called as I reached for her hand. I laced our fingers together and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “You know I’ll come back, right?”

The glare I received made me shut my mouth. She even withdrew her hand from mine and crossed her arms tightly before looking away. I silently scolded myself, knowing that I was being insensitive with my statement. With a shake of my head, I tried again.

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

Silence.

“Are you hungry?”

No response.

“Do you want to go to the bookstore?”

It was our favorite spot in our small city so I was holding onto a small bit of hope that she would respond. But she didn’t. She kept her body turned away from me. All I could do was rub the back of my neck as I thought of what I else I could try.

“Ice cream?” I started to name all the different comfort food that she usually consumed but it was the same. I received no response.

Part of me was annoyed. I knew she was scared but so was I. She wasn’t the only one suffering from this situation. I knew I was leaving so many people behind with no assurance that I’d come back safely. However, I acknowledged the fact that acting out on her attitude and getting mad wouldn’t do us well. I’ve wanted to spend the next few days I have making different memories with her that would last for a long time. I didn’t want to spend it fighting.

“I know that this is difficult to accept. I know because it’s also a hard pill for me to swallow. I’m sorry if I came across as insensitive to how you’re feeling. I just don’t know how to go about this. I know you don’t want me to go. I don’t either but I also have a duty to our country. I’m afraid. I’m terrified but this is something that I have to do.”

She didn’t say a word as she continued to keep her back towards me. I couldn’t see the emotions in her eyes.

“It’s been a long journey coming home.” I tried to sound as if I wasn’t hurting inside. “I’ll take a rest first and let you think, okay?”

Slowly, I reached for her shoulder and gave it a light squeeze of reassurance that she could talk to me about whatever it was that was going on in her head—her fears, her doubts, everything. However, I acknowledge the fact that she needed some time to think things through as well. She needed her own space.

With one last sigh, I silently made my way to our room.

I did my best to sleep after changing into more comfortable clothes but all I could do was lie on our bed and stare at the dull ceiling. My body was physically exhausted but my mind was bouncing and juggling different thoughts all around. I’ve tried closing my eyes and wishing for sleep to overcome me but all I could see behind my eyelids was her saddened eyes. Bored, I turned to the side and faced my bedside drawer.

The dog tag that I wore every day since I graduated from military training sat silently on top of it. It was something I continuously wore with pride.

Then my gaze moved to a framed photo standing behind it. The frame held a photo of us sitting side-by-side on the floor of a library, our backs against the shelf, and our noses buried in two different books. It was a photo taken by a friend of ours back when we were in our last year of college. The memory was a little hazy but the warmth I felt in my chest every time I looked at it told me that it was a good and happy one.

Her question kept ringing in my ear.

Have you even tried, Changsub?

What could I do though? Pretend to get into an accident and have myself confined in a hospital until they don’t need any more soldier deployed?

I know that I didn’t try but I’ve seen fellow soldier who have and none of them ever came with good news. If anything, the frowns on their faces deepened as if they’ve been given more burden to carry.

Slightly, I shook my head and tried to sleep once more. I wasn’t sure how long I stayed in that way but when I blinked my eyes open, there was no more light filtering through the window and I was lying on my back. The room had turned dark, minus the light coming from the opened bedroom door.

I noticed how the whole house was still silent. I shifted, getting ready to stand, when I felt the weight of another body curled up against my side. In the dark, I was slowly starting to see her figure as my eyes adjusted. Carefully, I turned a little to my side so that I could see her better.

Her eyes were gently closed, her lips slightly parted, as she deeply breathed in and out. One of her arms was lightly draped across my torso. I smiled at how peaceful she looked. It was a complete 180-degree turn from her distraught features earlier.

Lightly, I ran my fingers through the soft strands of her hair.

If only we could stay like this. If only I didn’t have to go. Different kinds of fear struck my heart as I absent-mindedly continued brushing her hair with my fingers.

What if I get injured? What if I lose a leg, a foot, a limb, or any kind of body part? What if I get caught as a prisoner of war? What if we get sent off to a distant place where there were barely any supplies?

What if I get caught in a rain of bullet? In a grenade’s explosion?

What if I couldn’t go back home?

What if I die?

The thoughts made me freeze, the cold slowly prickling my skin and my insides.

It was only when I felt her small hand gently circle my wrist that I realized I had stopped my movements. My eyes, which were filled with fear, gazed down towards her curious ones. The frown that was pulling down at her lips told me that she had an idea of what was going through my head. Before she could even say anything, I gave her a small smile.

“Seeing that you’ve snuggled up to me while I was sleeping,” I teased. My lips were slowly pulling up into a smirk. “Is it safe to assume that you’re going to talk to me now?”

She rolled her eyes, pulling at my wrist to remove my hand from her hair. I watched as she pushed herself up to sit before crossing her arms in front of her chest. Her cheeks were a bit puffed, her eyes cast towards the side. In a low voice, she said, “I still don’t understand why you, of all people, have to go.”

Piece by piece, I could feel my heart breaking.

“But,” she continued. “I do understand that there are things out of our control. I’m sorry for acting the way I did earlier.”

I shook my head as I shifted on the bed so that I could sit up and lean back on the headboard. “You don’t have to say sorry. There’s nothing to apologize for,” I assured her.

Only a hint of a smile made its way to her lips before she asked, “Is the offer to go for ice cream still available?”

It was adorable how she shyly asked. I couldn’t fight how my lips pulled up just to one side in an amused smile. “Oh, now you want ice cream?”

Her nostrils flared as she pouted. “Fine. Let’s not go for ice cream,” she huffed before crawling off of the bed. However, before she even got to move away, I had leaned forward to grab onto her forearm.

“Not so fast.” I chuckled before tugging at her arm to pull her towards me. She whined and made sounds of protests as I held her to me, her back against my chest. When I had secured my arms around her waist and brushed the tip my nose against the crook of her neck, she deeply inhaled and held her breath, her body stiff.

“C-Changsub,” another whine but it was obviously forced. I could almost hear how her heart was pounding wildly.

I didn’t say anything and just breathed against her skin. I took in the way she smelled and tried to embed it into my memory as much as I could. I did my best to memorize how her body felt against mine as we stayed in that position. Gradually, I could feel her stiff body loosening and molding into mine.

“Let’s have ice cream later,” I mumbled, closing my eyes and just relishing the moment. I knew that when this weekend was over, neither of us would know when this could happen again. “I want to stay like this for now,” I whispered against the exposed skin of her neck before slowly peppering butterfly kisses on it.

She let out a shaky breath and slowly nodded her head. “Okay,” she squeaked out softly and adjusted herself so that she laid comfortably against my chest.

----

They were right. The days you want to last forever pass by quickly. Part of me refused to believe that it was already Sunday evening. Even if we’ve done so many things and visited so many places over the past days, it still doesn’t feel enough. I still wanted more time to spend with her. There were still so many things I wanted to do with her.

“What’s the first thing you want to do together when you get back?” She softly asked, her eyes locked on mine as we lay on the bed facing each other.

“I want to spend it at home, with you,” I honestly told her. “And rest. Take a long sleep.”

“And what am I supposed to do while you’re sleeping?”

“Sleep?”

She rolled her eyes at that. “So, the first day you come back, we’re both going to sleep? Nice.” I didn’t miss the sarcastic tone laced in her words.

I gently smiled. “We can do all the things you want to do after I sleep. Is there anywhere you want to go?”

She thought about it, her lips pouted a little like a kid. ��Coffee shop. While you’re away, I’m going to go to different coffee shops and try everything I can. When you get back, I’ll take you to the best ones I find. Bookstores too!”

I nodded at her, keeping the smile on my lips. She kept on listing down the places she wanted us to visit together. Slowly and little by little, my heart ached the more she continued. Her eyes shone with hope.

I didn’t want to disappoint her but I also didn’t want to put a damper onto her mood. The only thing I could do was to hold onto those places and make them a motivation for me to get out alive and to get back to her.

“Changsub? Are you still listening?” She huffed.

“Of course.”

“Really? Then what was the last thing I said?”

Nervously, I laughed. “Coffee shop,” I sheepishly replied.

The girl in front of me groaned as she shook her head. With a sigh, she uttered, “I knew it. You and your love for coffee.”

I moved so that I could stretch out my hands and hold hers. “Whatever it is you want to do and whatever place you want to go to, I’ll go with you. I promise,” I warmly stated, meaning each and every word of it despite the uncertainty of my return. “I’ll come back and we’ll do all the things you want to do together.”

She gazed up at me for a long time. Neither of us said a word. The only time the silence broke was when she sighed.

“Make sure you come back, okay?”

I smiled but I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. I had to fight the frown that was threatening to pull down at my lips. “Of course,” I whispered. “I’ll come back. I promise.”

“Okay.”

Even if we both knew that there was no certainty, we both relished in that promise that may or may not be empty in the end.

“You should go to sleep. We have to go to the pier early tomorrow,” I told her when I realized that it was almost close to midnight. She had wanted to send me off even when I told her that she didn’t need to. But I folded in when her eyes reflected disappointment and sadness. Even if it would be difficult for the both of us, I ended up agreeing in the end.

“I don’t want to,” she mumbled like a kid. “I’m not sleepy.”

“Your eyes say otherwise,” I mused. “I know you’re tired. We’ve had a long day.”

“I don’t want to yet. I want to spend more time with you,” she shyly mumbled, a blush dusting her cheeks.

“We can sleep together.”

“Do things while awake!” She rolled her eyes. I laughed.

“Okay,” I caved in. “Reruns of your favorite show?”

Eagerly she nodded her head, the tiredness in her eyes fading away. She quickly jumped out of bed and made her way out of the bedroom. Fondly, my eyes trailed after her before I moved. I brought along with me our blanket.

I found her sitting with her legs crossed under her on the couch. The television was on and she was searching for her favorite episode.

“Come on,” she urged. “I found it.”

Smiling to myself, I situated myself next to her and wrapped the blanked around us from behind. I relaxed back onto the couch, my arm draped around her shoulder underneath the blanket. She moved so that she could easily lean her head on my shoulder.

“You better not fall asleep on me,” she threatened.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll end up falling asleep first.”

---

I didn’t realize I had fallen asleep until the stiffness around my neck woke me up. It was a little disorienting at first to wake up on the couch, with the television still blaring brightly as it continued to show episodes of the show. It took a while for my eyes to adjust thanks to the light.

I glanced to my side to see that she had fallen asleep as well. Her arms were lightly wrapped around my torso, her legs above mine and parallel to the couch, and her head was rested against my chest.

I took in the sight of her sleeping face. I memorized it all.

In the dark, I whispered how sorry I was for having to leave her alone, for having to be away for a longer period of time, and for bringing fear and uncertainty of my return.

The past few days have been filled with memories I would cherish forever and the following ones would be filled with yearning to be home and back into her arms. I was afraid, I admitted it to her yesterday. She was too but she told me that she believed that I’ll be back home before I knew it. Before both of us knew it.

She’d wait.

I’d wait as well.

I couldn’t sleep afterwards even when I moved us both to the bedroom. She had shifted when I moved her but she was back in her comfortable sleep. I just sat there, watching her. Even then, time seemed to have moved quickly. She started stirring awake.

“Good morning.” She lazily smiled.

“Good morning to you too, sleepy head.”

“Did I fall asleep? Who fell asleep first?” Her voice was still laced with sleep as she yawned through her words.

“I don’t really remember,” I admitted. “Breakfast?”

“Yes, please.”

We moved quietly. There was a solemn air around us. We both knew what was coming but neither of us talked about it vocally. However, our actions screamed how much we would miss each other.

Hands would often brush against each other. Hands holding onto and tightly grasping the other’s. Hugs that felt like an eternity. Smiles and frowns shared in between meals and short conversations.

Even when we were on our way to the pier, neither of us spoke that much. I could feel how tense she was with her sweaty palms. Her eyes would keep on darting back and forth, never staying on one point for a long time. She would keep on chewing down on her lip as well.

All I could do was hold onto her hand tightly.

“We’re here,” I whispered as the bus stopped in the pier’s terminal.

Silently, she nodded. She didn’t look up at me. Even as the bus stopped, she kept her gaze down. People were starting to unload the bus but we were unmoving.

“Hey,” I whispered, releasing her hand so that I could cup her face and gently turn her towards me.

“I don’t want you to go,” she brokenly stated. I knew there was a lump in her throat at how she forced those words. “Changsub, please.”

I silently sighed out her name as I pulled her towards me, her face pressed against my shoulder. I kept on apologizing to her in my head for putting her in this kind of situation. Slowly, I rubbed her back up and down as I felt her shoulders start to heave up and down. Muffled sobs reached my ears, urging me to hold onto her tighter.

Don’t cry, please. I wanted to plead selfishly. Over the past days, it was only now that she had openly showed her tears.

My chest was tightening as well but I couldn’t cry. I didn’t want to cry because I knew it would be harder for the both of us. I had to be strong for her.

“I’m sorry.”

She shook her head. It took a few more moments for her to calm down.

“I’m okay.” She sighed and pulled her self away. “Come on.” She stood up before smiling down at me.

My heart was in pieces but I had to move. I wore my backpack and we both went down, dreading each step.

There were soldiers and families scattered all around. You could hear the loud cries of both adults and children as they let their loved ones go. All the while as we walked, I held tightly onto her hand. If only I could keep on holding it, I would’ve.

We stopped at a relatively less crowded area. We both stood, hand-in-hand, facing the warship that I was going to board along with the other soldiers. Neither of us said a word. I felt like I couldn’t without breaking.

“You promised, remember? That you’ll come back,” she mumbled loud enough for me to hear. “You have to make good with that promise, all right?”

I glanced towards her but she kept her eyes forward.

“When you come back, we’ll visit your parents. Then we’ll visit mine. We’ll go to the different coffee shops I’ll discover while you’re away. So, you have to come back. You have to come back to me,” her voice trailed off at the end before she finally turned to me.

Tears filled her eyes but she was doing her best to keep them at bay. I noted how her shoulders rose and fell deeply.

I nodded my head at the empty promise. “You have to make sure that their coffee is great.”

A small smile. “Of course.”

We were silent once again.

I could feel my free hand twitching, wanting to hold onto her for as much as I could. A deep breath passed my lungs before I pulled her towards my chest. Tightly, I held onto her; one hand on her back and one hand on the back of her head.

“Take care of yourself. Don’t skip your meals and don’t sleep so late. I know that there will be days when work will be tough but please don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m sorry that I won’t be able to be there with you physically and even through the phone. I’m sorry that I have to leave you like this,” I poured out.

I felt her wrap her arms around me under my backpack, her hand grasping onto the back of my uniform.

“Stop talking like you’re not coming back.” Her voice was muffled against my chest.

I dryly laughed. “I didn’t mean to.”

“Don’t worry so much about me. I’ll be okay,” she said, peering up at me as she moved back a little. Our arms were still around each other.

I looked into her eyes for a long time before I firmly nodded. We both tried to smile at each other encouragingly but there were times when we ended up grimacing. Still, it gave a small sense of comfort.

Gently, my hand on the back of her head moved towards the side of her face to cup her cheek. My thumb moved in slow circles, rubbing at her skin. Slowly, I lowered myself, my forehead touching with hers.

I watched as she slowly closed her eyes and leaned a little upwards. Just by a tiny bit, her arms had tightened around me. With my hand on her back, I pulled her towards me once again as I finally place my lips on hers. Eyes closing the moment her soft lips were against my own.

Neither of us rushed. Neither of us cared about everyone else around.

I engraved into my mind how her lips moved with mine and how she seemed to have filled all my senses with her taste, her smell, and the feel of her lips. My chest felt like it was about to burst from the emotions I was keeping inside added with those that she was making me feel through the kiss. Everything she didn’t say, she poured out into the gesture.

Hesitantly, we both pulled away a little.

The deep sound of the ship’s horn loudly rang through the air. It was time to go.

“I guess this is it,” she whispered.

Neither of us wanted to let go. If anything, she held onto my uniform a little more.

“I guess so.” I sighed, blinking my eyes open only to see her staring up at me.

“You’ll be okay. We’ll be okay.”

I shortly nodded.

The horn rang once more. I could also hear the shuffling of boots on the cement. The cries were getting louder as well.

“You have to go,” she said but she didn’t move away.

“With how you’re holding onto my uniform, I don’t think I’ll be able to,” I teased her a little, making her laugh just a bit.

“Is it that obvious that I don’t want you to go?”

I pretended to think about it for a while. “Not so much.” I grinned before leaning down once more to kiss her for probably one last time in a long while. This time, my lips moved more fervently.

“I love you,” I whispered against her mouth when we had pulled away. “I’ll always love you, no matter how far away I am.”

I watched her smile. “I know. I love you too. As much as I want you to stay, I have to let you go now.”

We wrapped our arms around each other for one last time before we stepped away. Slowly, I walked backwards, my eyes still glued onto her. With her finger, she gestured for me to turn around so that I wouldn’t bump into anyone.

A sad smile showed on both of our faces. I stopped and gave her a salute. Even from where I stood, I clearly saw how she bit down on her lip before she nodded. She mouthed the words ‘I love you’ as I placed my hand down.

With that, I turned and started to walk along with my fellow soldiers. I wanted to turn back, to run back, and to go to some place far away. I couldn’t because I also had a duty to fulfill as a soldier of this country.

But I allowed myself one last look at where I left her. She was still there and she kept her eyes on me. Grandly, she waved her hand so that I could see. I nodded at her in acknowledgement but I couldn’t bring myself to smile anymore.

I faced forward once again, walking towards the ship that would bring us to the war zone. None of us knew who was going to come back and who was going to die on the battlefield. It could be the person in front of me or beside me. It could be me.

Just like how we were taught, all of us had to put up a brave front for the people we were leaving behind on this pier.