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crowning-art · 2 years ago

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TGCF SPOILERS HAHAHAHA :(

So.

Yesterday was a day.

What happened post reading;

Shut my laptop, and started scrolling through tumblr. Its been 30 mins but I haven't liked or reblogged anything. I'm just scrolling and scrolling and my mind is absolutely blank. Nothing is registering. (Denial)

After I while I turn off my phone too and just sat.

My sister asks me if I'm ok. I respond, "Ya, of course, why wouldn't I be?" She gives me a look, "You're crying."

I'm obviously shocked cuz I didn't even register I was crying and I'm like NO lol I'm not crying What are you talking about?? (Anger) Except now I'm full on crying (depression) but it was so weird cuz my eyes were crying but I was laughing SO HARD, like I couldn't stop laughing, and I'm like wtff??? THERE IS LITERALLY NOTHING FUNNY???? and so to distract myself, I searched up why in the absolute hell was I laughing so hard when my heart was literally squeezing in pain cuz like THIS HAS NEVER HAPPENED TO ME BEFORE?? (Bargaining)

Anyways, I found smt interesting; an article that discussed a study done on opposing emotions, why people say "Aww it's so cute, I want to squeeze it sooo hard', or start laughing when they are nervous, or laugh while crying, and it was really cool what they said;

"If you get into a very high or very low emotion that you're almost to the point of being overwhelmed, you become incapacitated so you can't function well,” Aragón tells me. “Emotional homeostasis is important for people so they can be in control of their cognitive, social, and psychological functions."

In other words, people may laugh when they’re nervous in order to moderate their nervous feelings; likewise, people may cry when they’re happy to recover from distracting giddiness."

Def an eye opener for me cuz I'm just not a crying type of person and I was literally so confused lol But I didn't know this was thing til yesterday so I was likke ohh I should share this!

Anyways, I'm going to be make this post reflect EXACTLY how I felt yesterday lmaooo (acceptance)

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You know that feeling of dread? That looming, heavy weight that you feel on your shoulders as you watch and you watch and you know what's going to happen and as each scene unfolds, it starts making sense and that dread turns into down right horror and all you can do is helplessly watch....

Am I talking about me or Hua Cheng???? Perhaps both :(

I think that anxiousness had started building up when Mu Qing left and I felt so angry but it's like how can you blame him? But the absolute respect I got for this funky lil dude when he comes back with bags of rice and money and I'm I LOVE YOUUU SO MUCHHH YOU DON'T DESERVE THIS AHHH I LOVE YOUUUU

(You too, Feng Xin efbfjefjn I literally want to shrink them and put them in my pocket and protect them from the evil, mean, scary world)

ok...now for the actual stuff......

What absolutely fascinates me is that I have come across so many villains from innumerable books, shows, and movies and I have seen stupid villains, pitiable villains, and down-right psycho ones too, but something about White No-Face hits different.

This is a villain that is truly terrifying. A villian that truly understands what it means to destroy someone. And no, it's not about killing their loved ones, it's not about physical torture, it's about breaking the person inside out. It's about ripping their soul out and gently putting it back, only for them to rip it out with even more viciousness. It's about taking away the one thing that keeps anyone alive...hope. I'm reminded of an arabic proverb that I heard once and really stuck with me;

What is worse than death is that which makes you wish for death.

I think every painful moment in TGCF just embodies this quote so well; when Xianle falls, when Windmaster is confronted with the truth, and now the temple scene and it literally hurts so much to read it and it's so lovely and beautiful how MXTX writes scenes that make you FEEL exactly what the people you are reading about feel.

Like yes Xie Lian was screaming 'It hurts' but I can guarantee that EVERY reader also felt the same as they read that part.

And what makes White No Face terrifying is that he KNOWS his subject, knows him so well, that he first takes away what's beloved to him, which is his kingdom, then his godhood, then his friends, and the final straw? His parents. He breaks him and breaks til there is nothing left to break and then rebuolds it just enough to break it again. He takes away his sanity so agonizingly slowly and you just want to scream as you just watch the descent into hell occur...

Could it be that Feng Xin couldn’t see the mask on his face in the mirror at all?!

Xie Lian blurted, “You don’t see it? There’s something on my face!”

Feng Xin was puzzled. “What thing? What exactly do you mean? I don’t see anything?” Xie Lian looked at the mirror again. “That’s impossible! I…”

However, when he looked again this time, the mask on his face in the mirror had disappeared, and what reflected was that panicking face of his.

And what's crazy is that yes, White NO Face wears the mask of half laughing, half crying, but Xie Lian EMBODIES that. He is always in a state of laughing and crying simultaneously. And it just shows how broken he is.

But you know what's insane???? Xie Lian has never ONCE felt like this with Hua Cheng! It's like somehow, he is suddenly in control of his emotions and feels true sadness, true happiness and not this broken confused mixture of laughing and crying, yknow?

And the comfort he gives him? Xie Lian actually felt comforted by this monster, completely. He actually felt calm and I'm like how incredibly sick and terrifying of a person to destroy someone and then provide them with such a comfort that feels real only to shatter it the next second.

And God, oh God! My heart was dying watching a small, inanimate ball of fire express SO much fear and sadness and agony.

From deep in Xie Lian’s throat there came waves of suppressed sobs, shaking harder and harder. That ball of ghost fire flew to his heart, looking as if it wanted to warm him, but it wasn’t confident that it could help chase away the cold, so it didn’t press close

and this part

A ball of ghost fire flew to his side and moved up and down, like it was nodding in agreement. However, wicked wisps like it were all around, so Xie Lian didn’t notice this particular one.

And my god, the absolute twisted mind of White No Face, like 'YEs Your Highness, YOU said it yourself "I want to save the common people!" So here! Save them!" And it's so goddamn twisted and sick and ridiculous but like how do you argue with that when you YOURSELF proclaimed that proudly?

Watching the struggle unfold, White No-Face mocked, “The common people are here, waiting for you to save them. Please, go ahead.”

And what's worse? Xie Lian is watching people destory his temples, spit on his statues, and here, in one of the last remaining temples of the crown prince, he is on top of an alter, and he is being looked up to and you can HEAR the mocking tone of White No Face like you want to be worshipped? Here, have all these people bow to you! And he is getting that, and it's so sick and horrific;

As they tried to atone for their actions wearing ashen expressions, they bowed many times in front of Xie Lian before returning to the crowd with their child. With thick layers of blood clogging up his throat, Xie Lian was about to throw up until he heard White No-Face snicker beside him.

And just when you think that it couldn't get worse, I could feel the ear-piercing scream that Hua Cheng lets out and I think that was truly the moment when my heart completely shattered.

He couldn’t hear his own heartbreaking scream, but instead, he heard the sound of another heart-wrenching wail, and it seemed as if it came from that ring of flames. Although it didn’t come from him, the pain that he could hear was the same as his, as if he was the one that had made that sound.

This was the birth of a malicious creature, the signs of a Savage ghost taking form!

and I think this scene just shook me most to the core because it put EVERYTHING into perspective, the fear of rejection that Hua Cheng has, the overprotective nature, the way he doesn't spare a glance towards Fengqing, it all makes sense because he has been through HELL and watched beloved go through worse than hell.

He died that day with Xie Lian despite going through a rebirth.

And the literal shivers of rewatching the donghua scene, when he first meets Xie Lian where he is dressed as a bride and his hand reaches out confidently, hesitantly and it's the first time in a long time he is able to be face to face with him and he's looking at him and he's just thinking that from now on, you will never know what pain is. I will never let that happen. and you BELIEVE him and Xie Lian BELIEVED him even though he doesn't believe in anyone anymore...not even himself.

Like all the cute scenes? the gambler's den, the confession, the way Hua Cheng lay beside Xie Lian he reaches out to him but sees the shackles and hesitates, the way they both set up Puqi shrine,

just everything

everything

it's so much.

You just can't see them in the same way anymore. Like I really looked at it from surface level, but there was so much behind every action; every atomic shift in their movements towards one another is accompanied by colossal weight and suffering of the past.

Oh boi, this scene too, like no words. It felt like the world stood still in this moment...

Some kind of power forced him to his feet and he stumbled out to look. He walked for a long time before he finally realized those were the sounds of celebrating the newly-built Imperial Palace, after Yong'an was established as a new kingdom and the royal capital was moved. Even the heavens were celebrating! All the once-citizens of Xianle were now cheering for Yong'an. On the main street, everyone’s faces bore such bright smiles; so familiar. Xie Lian remembered. This was also how the people at the Xianle imperial capital cheered during the Shangyuan Heavenly Ceremonial Procession.

and right by his feet lay the corpses of the King and Queen of Xianle...his parents....his dearest.

Boi deserves to go a little ape-shit but also, isn't that giving in to what White No Face wanted?

The expression on his face was like crying but laughing, like joy and sadness mixed together, and he slowly rose to his feet alongside the wall.

And he KNOWS what he's doing? He wanted Xie Lian on his side? He got him! He goddamn this absolute MONSTER UGHHHHH HE GOT HIM!! WHAT MORE DOES HE FREAKING WNT AAAAHHHHH

But I must say, I can't hate White No Face, because from a literary standpoint, he is such a wonderfully written villain. One of my all time faves just because of how well he was written. Again, just the whole book is so perfect and well-executed beyond a shadow of a doubt.

So ya!

It was ALOT to take in and I just had to let it all out.

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megalony · 8 days ago

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A Little Too Eager- Part 2

Here is the second part to my Eddie Diaz imagine, thank you all for the lovely feedback on the first part. I hope you will all like it.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyje @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra848484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17

@zoeybennett @mrspeacem1nusone @zephyrmonkey @estella-novella @eleventhdoctorsangel @kniselle @senjoritanana @shauna-carsley @dottierose @cfdhouse51 @darkfemme1 @rainechase45 @lolalolsstuff @jupiter1700 @ashdoctor @an-aliens-ghost @lunaroserites @houseoftwistedspirits @callsignwidow @winterreader-nowwriter @reneinii @bellsbomb @western-pyro @itsgigikay @harry-satellite @midsummereve1993 @babyqueen17 @buckyyyismahhlife @sammiejane22 @mrsyixingunicorn10

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: (Y/n) and Eddie are excited to expand their family with Chris and their daughter, and now the prospect of having triplets together. Five kids.

Enjoy.

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A tired smile fluttered across (Y/n)'s lips and she leaned her head on her hand while her elbow pressed down into the arm rest of the sofa. She curled her legs up beneath her and relaxed down into the cushion like she was starting to melt on the spot.

All she seemed to want to do recently was sleep. It wasn't as if she was doing too much or even in the later stages of pregnancy. She was about five months pregnant now, but she didn't look it. She looked further along, just like everyone kept telling her. No one seemed to have a response when she told them she was having triplets.

If she was feeling like this now, (Y/n) dreaded to think what she was going to be like once she hit seven or eight months along.

Her eyes cast down to her daughter and she smiled again. (Y/n) had put a Disney movie on tv and she was eager to turn it off and watch something else, but she knew she couldn't. Winnie wasn't exactly watching the movie, but she would cry if it got turned off. It was serving as a background stimulant for her while she sat in front of the sofa playing with her toys.

The little girl never seemed to play with toys when she was a baby or a toddler, it was one of the things (Y/n) noticed first. Where Jee would want to play and throw and interact, Winnie was distant and unbothered by any kind of toy, even teething toys. Winnie and Jee were only a year apart but it had flagged up all the ways in which Winnie acted different to other kids her age, it was what got them onto the track of getting her diagnosed.

But the four year old was slowly getting more involved with playing with toys and interacting with other kids.

"Okay?" She watched the way Winnie drifted from one toy to the next, not really attached to any of them but wanting some kind of stimulation.

She was sat cross-legged on the floor, softly rocking back and forth while she murmured and babbled incoherent noises (Y/n) couldn't make much sense of. But it was good to see Winnie trying to make some sort of chatter and she was clearly happy.

The little girl lifted her head, a sparkle glinting in her eyes and a smile splashed out on her face that brightened up the whole room.

Winnie lifted the toy in her hands which had taken most of her attention for the last few minutes. It was a baby doll. They were the new toys she was starting to become fascinated with. Last year, when she started to play with toys a bit more- mainly because she started nursery school- she had been playing with a lot of Chris's toys. She liked his race cars and the stretchy elastic figure toys he had.

Although Eddie had to tell her she couldn't play with the cars anymore when he found her trying to chew on them. If she licked the paint off she could make herself sick and they couldn't have that.

But now she had moved onto dolls after seeing some of Jee's dolls which had taken her fancy.

"Baby." The four year old wiggled the doll in her hands before she lowered it down and cuddled it to her chest with a toothy grin.

"Is it a baby?"

"Baby." She repeated firmly as she started to sway from side to side. She was beginning to speak a bit more, she wouldn't say sentences, they were very far from that. But Winnie understood the names of things and how to interact on a one-word basis.

"Mummy's got a baby too." (Y/n) pointed to her stomach and ran her palm across the side of her bump.

When she had Winnie, Chris had been so happy and eager to have a sibling, he absolutely loved the thought. He was the same this time too. But Eddie and (Y/n) had been worried about Winnie. They didn't know how she would react to a baby in the house, or how she would cope with needing to share her parent's attention. They were hoping that because she was still young, she would adapt a lot better than if she were older. And the fact that she had Chris too meant she knew how to share attention, at least somewhat.

Having three babies in the house at once was really going to test the boundaries and Winnie was either going to adapt quickly or react very badly. They were hoping for the former.

When (Y/n) glanced back over at her daughter, she was surprised to see a light sparkle in Winnie's eyes and the little girl shot up from the floor. 'Baby' rambled past her lips as she shot over to the sofa and leaned her arms on the edge so she could be close to (Y/n).

She balanced on her toes, pushing into the edge of the sofa as she leaned on her arms. Her head tilted to one side, curiosity burning in her deep eyes as she watched (Y/n) move her hand along her bump again.

They didn't have anyone in their family who was or had been pregnant recently, so Winnie wasn't sure what this meant or what was going on. (Y/n) wondered if Winnie thought she was just getting fat or if she had some sort of inkling that something different was happening to her mum.

Reaching down, (Y/n) gently took one of Winnie's hands and held it up in between them before she started to tap on her fingers.

"Mummy's got three babies. One… two… three." She counted on Winnie's fingers before pointing to her tummy. Winnie would eventually understand when three babies turned up in the house that this is what they had been preparing for and talking about.

When Winnie didn't react and stayed unusually still, (Y/n) pointed around her bump, counting again. She didn't know exactly how the babies were laid, they were starting to move and kick a lot. But she had a rough idea from their last scan whereabouts they were all crammed together.

"Baby."

A grin danced across Eddie's face when he heard Winnie's voice as he walked down the hall. He scratched the back of his neck, leaning his head to one side as he followed the sound of her voice. He briefly peeked into the kitchen when he passed, seeing Chris sat at the table with a colouring book and music blasting on his phone.

He padded across into the living room, trying to be quiet and he stood just behind the sofa to see what both girls were up to.

He loved the way Winnie was leaning on the sofa, as if she as listening to a story- something she rarely had the attention span to do unless she was sick. She seemed to be balancing her weight on her elbows, and she ran her hand timidly along the side of (Y/n)'s stomach, just for a few seconds. She looked as if she thought (Y/n)'s bump was going to move or suddenly change shape, or maybe she thought it might hurt (Y/n) to touch her there. But she was still smiling.

Eddie watched curiously as his girl stood up straight again so she could reach out for the baby doll resting next to her on the edge of the sofa. She held it out towards (Y/n), changing from a repetition of 'baby' to 'babies' which made both parents smile.

(Y/n) sat up a bit straighter when Winnie suddenly started to tap the baby doll against her stomach. She was getting excited. (Y/n) wasn't sure what her daughter was trying to do or if she was just happy at the thought of having three babies in the house at some point.

But when the four year old got a little too eager and bashed the doll quite harshly into (Y/n)'s stomach, (Y/n) leaned back and held her arm out in front of her bump.

"Don't be rough."

Moving around the sofa, Eddie leaned down and held onto Winnie's shoulders, causing a small gasp to tumble past her lips and a cheeky grin lit up her face when she realised who it was standing behind her. She leaned back into Eddie's legs and held up the doll in her arms as she giggled.

He bent forward and pressed a kiss to the top of her head while he squeezed her shoulders.

"You be careful with that, girlie. Don't hurt mummy, play nice." It was lovely to see her getting excited, but she couldn't play rough.

A quiet "Mama," left Winnie's lips while she bound the doll to her chest, her eyes focused on Eddie as he crouched own to be level with her. He curved an arm around her waist when she shuffled back so she was stood in between his thighs with her head on his shoulder.

He leaned his left arm on the sofa and looked over at (Y/n) as she reached across to brush her hand against the back of his neck. The touch had shivers rolling down his spine and his grin softened as he nudged his nose against her wrist.

When Eddie leaned forward, his little girl leaned with him, watching his every movement as he moved his hand to cradle (Y/n)'s stomach. He pressed three delicate kisses to her bump, something he had taken to doing a lot lately. And as he glanced his eyes over to Winnie, he noticed she was watching him again.

She had her doll pinned against her chest and she was tilted forwards near (Y/n), but her head was inclined in Eddie's direction and her smile was clearly a confused one. She didn't know what he was doing.

A chuckle rumbled past Eddie's lips when he watched their daughter twist her head to the side with an open-mouthed smile, presenting her cheek to Eddie. Something she did when she saw him kissing (Y/n) or Chris and she expected one too.

"You're cute," He murmured softly and kissed her cheek before he looked up at (Y/n). "Want a drink?"

"Please." (Y/n) leaned her head back when Eddie got up and hovered over her, curling his fingers beneath her chin so he could steal a kiss from her lips. The touch was warm and inviting and (Y/n) had the urge to reach out and drag him to sit down with her.

But she watched instead as he kissed her cheek, then the top of Winnie's head before he headed off into the kitchen.

She thought for a moment that Winnie would trail after him, but the little girl clambered up onto the sofa instead and hummed and whined until (Y/n) opened her arms. She twisted around with great effort so she was laid out on the sofa rather than sitting with her knees curled up. And Winnie made herself comfortable in between (Y/n)'s side and the cushion with her head on her mum's chest.

(Y/n) had been the one to get Winnie up and dressed today and had spent most of the morning with her. She seemed to cling to whichever parent got her up or picked her up from school. Unless she wasn't well, then she would glue herself into Eddie and scream if he left her sights.

Heading into the kitchen, Eddie flicked on the kettle and grabbed some cups, as well as a beaker because he knew Winnie would only try and take (Y/n)'s drink if she didn't get one too.

"Want a drink, bud?"

"Juice please."

Eddie set about making them all a drink, but he glanced across to Chris every now and then. He could feel his son's gaze burning into him; Chris would usually stare him out or follow Eddie around if he wanted something or he had something playing on his mind.

He could feel his mind wandering as he looked around the kitchen counter. It was going to look different in a few months. The kitchen would be overwhelmed with bottles and formula and bibs and hundreds of baby clothes all strewn about the place. Their home was going to be packed and loud and rowdy and full of mischief and overwhelmed with love.

He stayed quiet, making two cups of tea and fixing the kids a drink while he waited for Chris to speak.

"Dad?"

A soft grin spread across Eddie's face when he felt Chris wander over to stand beside him. He watched him tap his hands against the counter and tilt his head at an angle so he was looking up at Eddie with those big eyes that could get him almost anything he asked for.

"Yeah?" Eddie slid a glass of juice across to Chris and finished pouring the milk in the teas before he turned to face him. He leant his hip on the counter, pressing one hand to the counter while the other fell to his hip.

"Now there's gonna be five of us," He began shuffling his weight from foot to foot as he looked down at his hands rather than up at his dad.

Five siblings was a big change, although Chris had been surprised at first, he was happy to have four younger siblings. He loved Winnie, sometimes when they went out and she got nervous, he felt like her protector. Especially when their grandparents came round, because they didn't always know her stimming or what made her anxious so Chris would tell them and keep them up to date on all the new things she was doing.

And he was secretly hoping to have at least one brother this time, three babies gave good odds at one of them being a boy and Chris wanted a brother to play with and teach and grow up with.

"Hm,"

"(Y/n) will be their mum, but can… can I call her mum too?"

Eddie was glad he wasn't holding the drinks yet because he feared he might have dropped them in shock. He wasn't expecting that. The sheepish look on Chris's face made it seem like he thought he was going to get in trouble for asking. Maybe that's what he believed.

Maybe Chris thought he would be damaging Shannon's memory or betraying her if he called someone else his mum. But that wasn't the case. If Shannon were alive, then things would be different. But she wasn't, and she would want Chris to be happy at any cost, Eddie knew that.

He also knew that (Y/n) thought of Chris as her boy, if anyone asked her about her kids she would tell them she had two- although that would soon be changing to five.

She promised Eddie when they got engaged that she would always put Chris first and do what was best for him and she had proved that every single day. It would make Eddie happy if Chris called (Y/n) his mum, and that was never something Eddie would have contemplated before he got into a relationship with (Y/n). The thought filled him with love rather than with dread.

"Of course you can, if that's what you want, buddy." He wouldn't want Chris to think that he had to if he wasn't sure or he didn't really know. There was no obligation, just like there hadn't been when (Y/n) and Eddie had Winnie. They would never push him in this direction if it wasn't what he wanted.

"Yeah, will she mind?" Chris finally lifted his eyes to look up at his dad, and he was shocked to see that his dad looked like he was about to cry.

"Go and find out."

Twisting to the side, Eddie held one of the cups out towards Chris and patted his shoulder. When he winked and grinned, a smile flashed across Chris's face and that was all the encouragement he needed. If Eddie thought (Y/n) would be happy about this, then there was no need to worry.

He cradled the cup in both hands and steadily made his way out the kitchen and into the living room.

He found (Y/n) laid on the sofa with Winnie tucked under her arm and a new Disney movie on the tv. He could feel his heart beginning to hammer against his chest as a new bundle of nerves ignited in his stomach when he drew closer to them.

"Here's your drink, mum."

(Y/n) felt her jaw slack and her head whipped up to look in Chris's direction where he stood by the arm of the sofa. She could see the nerves pooling in his eyes and in the way he kept darting his eyes across to the tv to stop himself from panicking in case (Y/n) had a bad reaction.

She shakily reached out for the cup and creased her stomach forward so she could set the cup down on the table before she dropped it from the adrenaline coursing through her blood.

Her eyes melted with tears when she looked back up at Chris and she tenderly took his hand to tug him closer to her. He wasn't quite sure what she was doing, but he sat down on the very edge of the sofa beside Winnie to be closer.

A broad grin spread across Chris's face when (Y/n) looped her arm around his shoulders and leaned in enough to kiss his cheek.

"Thank you, baby."

***

"Hi,"

A soft look crossed (Y/n)'s face and she cracked her eyes open to lock her gaze onto Eddie. Her blurry vision followed him as he shuffled up from sitting on the end of the bed to hover over her. One hand rested near her shoulder and the other moved to cradle her stomach while his head tilted to one side.

"Hey," She murmured back softly while he swooped down to steal a kiss from her lips. (Y/n) could already tell by the little noises in the air that Winnie had followed him into their room, it sounded like she was sitting on the floor at the foot of the bed.

"Feeling any better?" Eddie slid his hand beneath (Y/n)'s top, a wicked grin overtaking his features when his cold touch made her squirm and groan into his mouth when he stole another kiss.

(Y/n) hadn't been well today. She and Chris had spent the morning watching movies in the lounge while Eddie took Winnie shopping with him, the little girl loved going to the shop whereas Chris wasn't too keen.

And just over an hour ago (Y/n) sheepishly asked Eddie if he would mind if she went to bed. She could barely keep her eyes open even though they had just had dinner. She had been about to tell Chris he could watch a movie with her if he wanted when Eddie conscripted Chris into playing a video game and ushered (Y/n) off to bed.

If she didn't feel well Eddie wanted her to go and sleep and rest, he would supervise the kids. (Y/n) was technically already looking after three kids so far, it was only fair Eddie watched the other two.

"I think so." She didn't have a horrible headache like she had earlier, and a bit of sleep had actually made her feel better rather than making her drowsy and unwell.

"Good, I'm just gonna grab a shower, you need anything?"

(Y/n) shook her head as she brought both hands up to cup Eddie's face. Her thumbs brushed across his cheekbones and she smiled as she brought him down for another kiss. She could feel the tension in his arms when he leaned down a bit more until his chest was against hers.

And the tell-tale way he groaned against her lips was a sign that she needed to release him before he climbed into bed with her. His fingers danced along her stomach and near the waistband of her shorts before he grumbled something incoherent and sank his teeth down into her lip.

She wasn't sure what else he muttered into her mouth, but when she opened her eyes, (Y/n) loved the love-drunk look swirling in those dark brown eyes. She pecked his cheek before letting her head sink back into the pillows when Eddie shuffled off the bed.

His hands fell to his hips for a moment before he looked down in Winnie's direction. She had one of Chris's big fire truck toys that she had been pushing around the house.

"Hm, I don't think so." He murmured softly while he leaned down and scooped Winnie up and nudged the truck out the way with his foot.

He was going to sit Winnie in here with (Y/n) while he went for a shower and Eddie didn't trust her with that big toy. She might throw it or try and play rough with (Y/n) again.

He set her down on the bed where (Y/n) instantly opened her arms and brought her girl in for a cuddle. And when Eddie pulled off his shirt, he held it out towards Winnie. He knew she had a strange fascination for clothes, she liked the different sensations and materials and immediately, she snatched it from him and started to cuddle it.

He muttered "Be good," to Winnie and the same against (Y/n)'s stomach before he grabbed his lounge wear and headed off to the bathroom.

"Want the tv on?" (Y/n) sighed and heaved herself up into a sitting position so she wouldn't fall back to sleep, although it was tempting. She needed to stay awake so she slept tonight as well.

She leant back into the pillows and tucked Winnie up into the side of her bump while she put the telly on and switched to a cartoon channel.

For a few moments, she kissed the top of Winnie's head and started to hum with her. But then the little girl started to wriggle. She didn't want to sit here. Being in bed meant going to sleep and she only stayed in her parent's room if she was ill or couldn't get to sleep.

A whine passed her lips as she wriggled out of (Y/n)'s embrace and shuffled to the end of the bed. She started to shake Eddie's shirt in her hands before she looked over her shoulder at (Y/n).

"Daddy."

"Let him get a wash, you've got mummy." She patted her chest and sat forward to tug Winnie back towards her for a cuddle, but the four year old wasn't impressed.

She shook her head and started to mess with the shirt again like it was a flag she was waving for attention.

When she huffed and whined in defiance, (Y/n) rose a brow and gave her the same look back. And when Winnie pointed towards the bedroom door, (Y/n) shook her head with a firm 'no.'

Couldn't she just lay with (Y/n) for a little while? Couldn't she be happy to sit with (Y/n) and have a cuddle? (Y/n) wished she could tell Winnie that she didn't feel well and have her daughter sit with her rather than fidget and become desperate for Eddie.

But all day she had been following Eddie around. He got her dressed, he took her out shopping and he had been tidying up with Winnie right beside him like a shadow. She had even hovered in the kitchen while Eddie and Chris prepared dinner. Going to (Y/n) might make Winnie feel as if Eddie was going out without her or that he didn't want her anymore.

She knew he wasn't going to work. He would show her his uniform and kiss her goodbye if he was going to work. He hadn't done that, so he had to be in the house and if that was the case, Winnie wanted to be with him.

The little girl tossed Eddie's shirt on the other side of the bed and tried to break out of (Y/n)'s arms. When she heard 'leave daddy to shower', she responded with a loud screech and some frustrated tears trickling down her face.

Her feet started to kick into the bed and she broke out of (Y/n)'s arms and tumbled off the bed, on a mission of her own.

(Y/n) could feel tears welling up in her own eyes as she threw the covers aside and swung her legs over the side of the bed. It took some effort to get her body working and get up when she felt so tired she could barely focus. She wanted to lay down. She hadn't even felt hungry when it came time to eat. All (Y/n) felt like doing was going to sleep; the triplets were draining her.

A chill tore through her and she realised she was only wearing her night shirt and some shorts because she hated sleeping in leggings or joggers.

Reaching out, she snagged one of Eddie's jumpers that were on top of the dresser and she tried to hurry as she yanked it over her head and dragged the soft material across her stomach. (Y/n) was starting to doubt if any of her maternity clothes from when she had Winnie would even fit her. She looked nine months along already and she had another three months to go until she would be at eight months which was the cut off point for multiple pregnancies.

Her hand traced the wall to keep herself upright and she shivered and gasped at the cold floor against her bare feet when she hurried out into the hallway to follow her daughter.

She cringed when she found Winnie.

The four year old was stood outside the bathroom. She knew Eddie was in there, and she had clearly found that he locked the door because she was patting her palm against the door. She wasn't hitting it or banging furiously, just little taps.

She only hit or banged on the walls as a behaviour when she was very distressed and she knew Eddie would tell her off for it if she tried.

A loud sob passed Winnie's lips and tears started to trickle down her face while her free hand pressed to her mouth so she could bite down on her thumb. A habit that made her look so much like Chris as it was one of his stims he still did to this day.

"Baby, come on. Daddy's getting a shower." (Y/n) sighed and reached out for her baby girl but Winnie wriggled and patted the door again.

"Daddy,"

"He's busy, come with me."

"Winnie, go with mama."

The little girl jumped at the sudden sound of Eddie's voice that travelled through the door. His tone wasn't as smooth and loving as usual. There was a sterness to his voice and a warning tone, he was telling her and it wasn't often that she didn't listen to him.

"Daddy," Her voice was feeble and she stopped patting the door in favour of looking down at her feet and feeling sorry for herself.

"Winnie." Eddie's voice came right back to her with a sharper edge that had the little girl shivering and her tears stopped immediately.

Eddie tilted his head to one side, tangling his fingers in his hair while he closed his eyes and strained to listen for the girls on the other side of the door. As soon as he heard Winnie patting the door, he stayed quiet. He didn't hum to the music playing on his phone, he didn't say her name or make any sort of sound.

He couldn't open the door every time she shouted out for him, she had to learn that she was safe in the house if Eddie or (Y/n) were in another room. And she couldn't demand for him to come out and have him right there at every beck and call. He would be with her in ten minutes.

He sighed in relief when he heard their footsteps retreat and he knew Winnie was going with (Y/n). At least she hadn't gone into a meltdown. He would hate to have to tell her off, dripping wet from a shower with a towel around his waist.

He knew it was worse when either of them were alone with the kids. If Eddie had the kids while (Y/n) was at work, he had Winnie waiting outside the bathroom each time he went to the toilet. She followed him in the kitchen while he made tea. He couldn't shower until either (Y/n) came home or he relented and let Winnie wait in the bathroom with him.

And he knew it was worse for (Y/n) when he was at work recently and she didn't feel well. She had to watch Winnie who followed her around, and (Y/n) had their daughter following her to the toilet every time she went, which was often now she was having triplets.

Rather than going back to bed, (Y/n) took Winnie's hand and let her daughter steer her into the living room.

Chris was perched on the sofa watching a movie and (Y/n) could of cried in relief when Winnie clambered onto the sofa.

(Y/n) followed after her and sat down in the middle of the kids, tilting her head back on the sofa while one arm hooked around Winnie and her other hand flopped onto her stomach. It didn't feel great to have three wriggling babies pressing down on her back and weighing her down, she felt better lying on her side, but at least she was sat down now.

She rolled her eyes softly but smiled when Winnie sniffled and leaned into her belly, clearly feeling sorry for herself.

Closing her eyes, (Y/n) snuggled her head down into the back of the sofa but she kept her arm bound tight around Winnie's waist, just in case she tried to scarper off again. And she focused her hearing on the movie so she wouldn't totally fall asleep. Her lips curved up when she felt Chris tenderly lean his head on her shoulder and cosy up into her other side.

The three of them fell into a cosy silence together, with the odd hum or sniffle from Winnie every now and then. But as soon as the bathroom door clicked open, the little girl perked up and lifted her head from (Y/n)'s tummy.

Eddie headed into the living room, changed into some black shorts and a tight-fitting white shirt he usually wore to bed. He looked over at the sofa, grinning down at his family.

When Winnie made grabbing hands towards him he sighed and scooped her up.

"I'm here, see? Daddy didn't disappear." He pecked her temple before he leaned over the sofa and kissed (Y/n). He ruffled Chris's hair before moving his hand to cradle (Y/n)'s chin. "Go to sleep." He murmured against her lips. If she didn't feel well she should sleep.

"It's still early," (Y/n) tried to keep her voice quiet because she knew Chris was enchanted in the movie.

Her eyes locked with Eddie's and she nudged her nose up into his as if to entice him to take another kiss, which he did, gladly. She couldn't sleep now and then go to bed later and sleep again. She felt like she could, but too much sleep might not help and she had barely done anything today. (Y/n) didn't want to be useless around the house.

"And you're drained, so rest."

Pulling back, Eddie let go of (Y/n)'s chin in favour of reaching down for her ankles which he carefully lifted and set them on the coffee table. So she was laid out in the way he normally was in the evening. Eddie then swiped the blanket from the armchair and held it out to Chris until he got the message and draped the blanket over himself and (Y/n).

He set Winnie down to her feet, but the smile on his face silently told her she could follow him. If she wanted to stick with him, she could gladly follow him around the house while he did some odd jobs.

The little girl trotted behind him like a faithful shadow, dipping in and out of each bedroom so Eddie could get the washing.

"Kitchen please." Eddie handed Winnie some of the washing from her room and pointed to the hallway while he tucked the wash basket under his arm so it rested on his hip. If she was following him around, she could help him too.

She had a skip in her step and started to trot when they headed down the hall and the sight made Eddie's lips quirk into a grin.

When he pointed to the washer, Winnie made a big effort of leaning and tucking everything neatly into the washer. And whatever Eddie held out to her, she gladly put in the washer for him.

Her fingers curled and her hands waved at her sides while she watched Eddie put the wash powder in and turn the machine on. Her feet tapped and stomped happily on the floor and she squealed when Eddie started to sing. He wasn't the best singer and he knew it, but Winnie seemed to love the sound of his voice.

He sung an old tune stuck in the back of his head while he put the pots away and Winnie happily wriggled beside him. He found it funny how, at her age, Chris would want to be playing games or colouring or doing something to occupy himself. But Winnie was most content when she was watching over her parents like this.

Drawing, playing games or with toys or watching tv didn't interest her like this did. Being with her parents at all times and helping them in the house was what she wanted to do.

A sudden bang caught Eddie off guard and he snapped his head to look out the kitchen window before his shoulders dropped and he sighed.

Fireworks.

His eyes immediately cast down to his daughter who was no longer squealing or happily stomping her feet. She looked frozen to the spot, arms out at her sides and eyes wide as she stared up at him in panic.

"S'okay girlie, all gone." His smile calmed her down and when he started to sing again, Winnie went back to shaking and stimming her hands.

Eddie hated this time of year.

He hated bonfire night and he wasn't a fan of Halloween. He loved dressing up with Chris, and they dressed Winnie in small, sweet outfits because scary ones frightened her. He liked taking Chris trick or treating, something Winnie didn't like to do.

But he hated the fireworks that came along with it and all the prank calls they got at work. The people messing about, kids being silly, throwing things, ending up hurting people. It was a mess at work and at home, it was simply unsettling for Winnie.

She didn't understand Halloween, the only thing she liked was the sweets that would suddenly appear in the house.

And fireworks frightened her. The loud noises were terrifying to her, as if she thought she was going to get shot. She would have so many meltdowns over bonfire night and the weekend before bonfire night because of the amount of loud bangs that sounded throughout the nights.

Eddie understood completely; when Chris was little he didn't used to like them and Winnie was autistic, she didn't understand and wasn't likely to understand anytime soon either. And Eddie himself had suffered many panic attacks on bonfire night when the noises made him think of his time in the army.

He went to put another plate in the cupboard but it almost smashed out of his hand when a round of fireworks went off.

Bang. Bang. Bang!

The scream Winnie let out was ungodly and the thump that sounded afterwards made Eddie snap his head to look over his shoulder in her direction. The four year old slammed down onto her bum on the floor like she had fainted.

She stuck her fingers in her ears and screeched as tears began to stream down her face and she started to gasp. Her head thrust back and forth, her jaw dropped like she was silently screaming, one of her new stims, and she kicked her heels against the floor so harshly she would bruise her feet.

"Okay, okay baby come to daddy." Eddie lifted her up and snuggled her down into his chest, but he was deflated to find that she didn't cling to him.

She screamed into his chest and smothered her face in his shirt, but she wouldn't take her fingers out of her ears. Usually she would loop her arms around his neck and cling to him. Her legs were tight around his torso but she started to shake against his chest.

"You're okay, I've got you. I've got you." His lips smothered her temple and he started to rock her up and down in one arm while he reached over the sink and shut the window.

He closed the blind and kicked the cupboard shut and swiftly headed into the lounge. It was going to be a long night if they were starting this early.

At least the neighbours didn't set any off. One neighbour was an elderly couple so they never bothered with Halloween or fireworks. And the other side knew Winnie was sensitive and either set off silent ones or went out to do fireworks.

When he headed into the lounge, Eddie silently pointed at the tv while he closed the curtains and Chris got the message. He grabbed the remote and turned up the volume on the tv.

(Y/n) leaned her head back and inched a bit closer to Chris so she was in the middle of the sofa, leaving room for Eddie to sit down with them. As soon as he sat down, (Y/n) laid her head on his shoulder and draped her arm over to brush up and down Winnie's back.

Sinking down into the sofa, Eddie slouched down a bit and eased Winnie into his chest so she was almost laid down. Her head stayed tucked up into the middle of his chest, but she slowly stopped shaking and when Eddie kissed the top of her head, she gingerly pulled her fingers from her ears.

"All gone." (Y/n) whispered and leant across to kiss her temple before she snuggled further into Eddie's arm.

A comfortable silence fell over them while they tried to watch the movie. A few odd bangs sounded distantly and each one made Winnie shudder against Eddie, but he started humming to distract her.

Chris reached out for one of the smaller, stuffed teddies on the floor and he laid over (Y/n) to hand the toy to his sister. She seemed apprehensive, but he smiled triumphantly when Winnie snatched the toy and huddled it into her chest. She might not want to play, but it might give her some comfort.

After a while, Eddie leaned his cheek on top of (Y/n)'s head and he was sure she had fallen asleep beside him. Her head kept sliding down his shoulder until she was practically lying on his chest and her arms were loosely wrapped around his bicep which made him smile. He could see Chris laid out on the other end of the sofa with his head on (Y/n)'s bump.

A frightening commotion which sounded like a bomb exploding rattled through the air and Eddie groaned. Someone in the street was setting off fireworks now. Another firework fizzled in the air and sparked off into another explosion that sounded like bacon sizzling in a pan and it had Winnie screaming into Eddie's chest.

Her scream jolted (Y/n) awake and shook Chris who had been in a trance watching the movie.

"It's okay-"

Eddie locked eyes with (Y/n), brows raised when they both listened to what Winnie was babbling over and over like a mantra into Eddie's chest.

"Bad. Bad. Bad."

She was frightened.

Another continuous set of fireworks crackled in the air and Winnie screamed so loudly Eddie's ribs felt like they were vibrating and his body shuddered against her. He cupped the back of her neck when she started to scratch one hand down her cheek and dug the other hand into Eddie's chest as if she were pleading with him to do something.

Something akin to 'ow' blundered past Winnie's lips on a loop that soon meshed into a jumble of incoherent noises, but it showed how scared she was. It didn't matter how loud they turned the tv up, either the fireworks would frighten her or the volume would overload both her and Chris's senses.

"Baby, can you go and get the cover from our bed please?" (Y/n) whispered into Chris's hair and she pecked his temple when he shot up and scurried down the hall towards her and Eddie's room.

"Shh, little girl. It's alright, you're okay." Eddie cradled the back of her head and tightened his arms around her to try and stop her from sobbing and shaking in his arms.

He couldn't take her to bed because the tv would have to be loud in there too to block out the noise and Winnie wouldn't sleep if she could hear other noises to focus on. And a bath or a shower wasn't going to be loud enough either. Staying in here with everyone was going to be the best thing for her.

Eddie's brows furrowed when he watched Chris trot back into the room, heaving the large quilt from his parent's bed.

"Thank you."

(Y/n) grabbed the cover and sat forward so she could tuck it around Eddie, who watched curiously as (Y/n) covered him up. But a light went off in his mind when he watched her completely enclose the cover around Winnie so she was hidden away.

The cover and the loud volume might just block out the fireworks enough to stop scaring her. In the least, it would make all the other sounds fuzzy and distort them a little.

(Y/n) leaned her head back on Eddie's shoulder and tucked into his side while Chris fiddled with the cover so it was around her and him too, keeping them all cosy. Chris seemed to like this idea as he twisted around and nuzzled his cheek into the cover with his head on (Y/n)'s waist again.

"Don't let me fall asleep," She murmured softly in Eddie's ear, doing her best to keep her eyes open. While she moved her arm so it was draped around Eddie, allowing her to trace her hand up and down Winnie's back.

The cover seemed to make her feel safe as she stopped trembling and instead curled up smaller against Eddie, though both hands were now clutching his shirt tightly.

"Mi amor, if you fall asleep you know I'll carry you to bed."

It was as if Eddie could read her mind. He knew the only reason she was worried about sleeping on the sofa was the fact that she would find it very hard to wake up and go to bed when it was time. It would be tempting for (Y/n) to just lay here instead.

"What, all four of us?" She muttered into his neck, already half asleep while she tiredly moved one of Eddie's arms from Winnie so he could feel at least two of the babies kicking up a fuss.

She didn't want Eddie carrying her anywhere, not when she felt like the triplets weighed a ton. But the way he smiled and laughed into her hair made her stomach flutter with adrenaline. Part of Eddie's job was training to carry people out of emergency situations, lift heavy loads and move debris. (Y/n) and the triplets were no match for him.

"Yes, all of you, mi amor. Now get some sleep."

#911 imagine #imagine #eddie diaz x reader #pregnant! reader #evan buckley #eddie diaz imagine #eddie x reader #eddie diaz #a little too eager

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