#Cause the fucking professor would be sitting there grading and cringing as well

[torchstelechos]

The funniest consequences for Bonnie being a child during All Of That is if they grew up to study social sciences and kind of just. Oh it's Frin :), Oh it's Frin :(

[thecapricunt1616]

Thinking about College Lip again, genuinely ever since @mouseymilkovich came on the scene I’ve been once again shameless obsessed (Thank you mouse🐁 we say in unison)

TLDR: Once again I haven’t been able to watch shameless in a moment - this is all from my memory & tik tok clips & edits I’ve been obsessively watching that I think lip acts. If it’s not perfectly canon, I’m sorry! Feedback is always greatly appreciated but try to keep it kindly constructive as I’m just a girl in the world already having a hard time and writing is my outlet so - I love feedback and constructive criticism but don’t just say something like “wow that part made me cringe” without adding how I should make it better or something. Sorry for rambling & thank you for listening if you did.

But I’m thinking how pissed he would be if you were good friends/fuck buddies, and he found out that a professor was being creepy with you

(Warnings for BTC: Creepy teachers (power imbalance), Mentions of sexual harassment, Angry!Lip, Drunk Lip )

Okay so I imagine you’re sitting in his dorm one day, talking about the weirdest things that have happened in college. Lip had told you he had fucked one of his professors but called it off, and you laughed -

“No fucking way!!! Professor Simmons literally held me back after class one day and told me if I wanted a better grade on my last essay I could suck his dick!” Shaking your head at the stupid memory and taking a swig of lukewarm beer he had given you hours ago.

“Wait- huh?” He asked, tone now much more serious. You just shrugged, smile fading a bit. Suddenly you felt almost…judged? By the way his lips curled into a bit of a frown when you said that, his brows knitting together in that classic Lip way, ever angry. You’d teased him that he reminded you of the ‘Anger Emotion’ from inside out that you’d taken him to see with Liam over spring break.

“I- I didn’t do it - like- ew!” You laughed nervously, eyes flicking to your lap, cheeks feeling suddenly hot, and your mouth feeling dry. “Hes…so gross- you thought I would like- do that?!” You asked defensively.

“No- what the fuck? Why the fuck would I be questioning you?! That motherfucker is- is married, Tink! And old as fuckin’ dirt!” His voice raises slightly to drive his point home. The use of that nickname, Tink, short for Tinkerbell. He had started calling you it after you wore a dark green mini skirt and brown turtleneck to class one day, the name was quite perfect for you considering your small stature and affinity for short skirts like the cartoon fairy.

You shrugged, picking at your nails and nibbling on the inside of your lip. “I didn’t let ‘em touch me- only you do that. “ you muttered, feeling embarrassed and small now that you felt as if you’d made him worry after you, like he didn’t think you could take care of yourself. He grabbed your chin, making you look at him - his glazed over eyes told you he’d already finished his 7th beer without even having to look at the nightstand.

“Good- cause if he did?” He said softly “I’d fuckin kill em” he assured you, brushing his thumb over your cheek, before pulling you to his chest and wrapping his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

You sighed softly, nuzzling your face in his neck and inhaling the scent of his spicy cologne, and the stale smell of Marlboro cigarettes that stuck to his skin and clothes permanently. “M’sorry- didn’t mean to make you upset” you said gently, wrapping your leg around his frame and gently kissing his tanned skin, even though he was staunchly Irish - summer did the gallaghers well, maybe not Ian, or Debbie- or, Frannie… but the rest of them, sure.

“What did I say about the sorrys, kid?” He squeezes your ass firmly, before giving you a light spank that caused you to giggle a bit.

“Ok! Ok I’m not sorry, s-“ you stop yourself and he looks down at you with a smirk to which you scrunch your nose and smile big “soooooo not sorry “ you correct yourself and he chuckled, shaking his head and grabbing his beer, finishing it off.

The next time you heard from Lip was the following night, at 4 am. On an unknown number. You woke up in your dorm to your phone ringing and didn’t even bother looking at the name before sliding it to answer, knowing no one in their right mind that didn’t know you would call you so late. “Yeah?” You said groggily into the phone.

“Heyyyyy, Tinker” Lip said into the phone and that woke you up fully.

“Lip- what’s wrong?” You said concerned, knowing he would never be calling you so late unless he was in some kind of trouble.

“I uhhh” he slurred, obviously drunk. “I think I got myself expelled? Dunno…can you pick me up? Just go to my house- tell Fiona I’m locked up. I need 800- she’s gonna give it to you. Make sure you take Ian with you I don’t want you gettin robbed- tell er’ T’take it from the squirrel fund- been stockin’ it f’this shit just in case. ” he explained, of course breaking to hiccup drunkenly.

You quickly stood, pulling sweatpants over your spandex shorts and pulling a hoodie on. “What did you do?! Lip! What the hell how will I survive Trig without you!” You said worriedly, putting on your messenger bag quickly and holding tour pepper spray in one hand ready to pull as you rushed out the door.

“I dunno!! I’ll tutor you, Tink! Just come get me. M’stuck with this guy that smells like a fuckin sewer.” He groaned.

“Of course I’m coming! I’ll see you soon - don’t get yourself shanked!” You hung up, frustratedly beginning your walk to the L

You were shivering by the time you were pounding on the Gallaghers door, finally Fiona opens the door “WHAT?! WHAT WHAT WHAT!!!” She screamed on her way down the stairs, and when she opened the door to see you shivering there in a hoodie and sweatpants in the 30 degree fall weather her expression softened.

“What’s wrong with Lip?” She asked, pulling you inside and grabbing a blanket “Jesus- Tink! Your lips are nearly fuckin blue!” She wrapped you up, taking your trembling hands and pulling them to her lips, warming your icy fingers with her warm breath.

“He- he’s in jail? I think? He said s-something about a fund, squirrel fund? Bail is 800 and he said to- to take Ian so I don’t get robbed for it.” You stuttered due to your teeth chattering, and being catcalled and followed for 2 blocks on your walk to their house.

“Okay- yeah. Fuck. What did he say he did?” She tugs you to the kitchen, pulling an old Twinkie box from under the sink and pulling out a huge wad of cash, beginning to count out $800. Your eyes widened, shrugging and mouth dropping as she shoves it into an old IRS ‘OPEN IMMEDIATELY’ envelope before folding it in half and shoving it in her bra and screaming

“IANNNNNNNNN! IAN! GET UP!! YOUR BROTHER IS IN JAIL!”

You flinched a bit at her sudden outburst, and there is pounding footsteps down the stairs “what did he do?” The redhead asks and Fiona shrugs

“What the fuck did he do, Tink?!” Fiona asks again and you shrugged quickly, shaking your head confused

“He- he said he was gonna be expelled?! I don’t know- I- he just- he called and said to come here and that Ian could protect me- and- and he gets really angry I don’t want him to be angry if you come with us-“

She cuts you off and holds her hand up

“He’s not gonna take it out on you he fuckin knows me. Ian go tell Debbie to watch Liam. I need to find fucking pants” she muttered heading over to the large laundry pile on the kitchen floor and digging through it as Ian raced back upstairs to do what he had been instructed.

Fiona thankfully drove you 3 to the police station, thankful for a warm car instead of taking the late night train. When you got inside the station, she thankfully took over.

“Gallagher? Phillip- Lip- Lip Gallagher- here-“ she drops the envelope in the little box that went behind the window. The woman looks at the three of us, then the envelope, then the computer.

“Phillip?” She repeated, unenthused and Fiona nodded quickly. “That’ll be 800, I’m assuming -“ she picked up the crinkled, (slightly sweat damp envelope) that Fiona had tossed into the box “this-“ she holds it up by her bright red acrylic nails like it was diseased

“S’all there!” Fiona nods and smiles kindly, likely hoping her kind demeanor would cause the woman to take pity on us.

“Let me just- count this” the woman opened her drawer, pulling out a pair of black latex gloves and snapping them over her hands before pulling the envelope open and counting out the cash, popping it in the drawer and printing a ticket. “RON!!!” She screeched.

An overweight, brunette man is startled awake behind her sitting in a rolling chair and jumping slightly when he was called. “Huh?! I’m awake!” He barked defensively. Ian and I look at eachother, with a ‘are they fucking kidding?!’ Look

“Gallagher! Paid bail. Cut ‘em” she said and went back to scrolling on Facebook.

You followed the large man when he beckoned you all, back to a cell where Lip was curled up to himself on the bench, arms crossed over his tummy and head to his knees protectively while he dozed.

“GALLAGHER!” The man barks, causing Lip to jump with a startled snore. When he saw you his expression softened, jumping up and rushing to the bars, reaching for you. You gave him a hug as the oaf got the cell unlocked.

“Quit scarin’ me like this, Lip” you mumbled into his greasy cigarette stale curls.

You got Lip back to the Gallagher house, helping him up the stairs to his room and setting him on the bed. He was utterly exhausted, nearly so drunk he was passed out. So you went down to the kitchen, and made him a double pack of beef ramen and came back upstairs, giving it to him to eat and distract him while you tended to his wounds.

He nearly burnt a hole in his throat wolfing it down, hissing and trying to swat your hands away when you cleaned the beer bottle glass from the gash In his forehead. Through mumbles and coaxing kisses you’d found that he hunted down the same Professor Simmons that beckoned you for a blowie in turn for a better grade - and nearly beat him to death.

After he’d told his wife what he did- she begged him that if they didn’t press charges- she wouldn’t go to the police for the assault and Lip agreed. As awful as it was to have your somewhat situationship bleeding in front of you - it made your clit throb slightly that he went out of his way and nearly ruined his life in your honor. Like some kind of fucking knight in shining Armour.

The next morning, lip woke up to yet another throbbing headache, atop of a dislocated nose, and a nearly bitten through tongue that made him wince when he barely even swallowed. “Open” you beckon gently, already having been awake for hours, changing his bandages and ever-so carefully tending to his wounds.

He doesn’t even try to open his bruised black eye, not even caring to know what happened to him and weakly opens his mouth.

“You gotta learn when to call it quits, Gallagher” you said gently as you placed 3 extra strength Tylenol on his tongue and gave him a mouthful of water to swallow it down.

A/N P2: I know this isn’t my usual MO? I am sorry haha. I wanted to try writing something sweet and angsty. Sorry I just wanted to try something new! LMK if you liked it, xoxo- Capri ❤️

[quandaryqueen]

Butterflies

Year One Jonathan Crane X Reader

Set in the "Evermore" universe, I'd like to write more wholesome, sweet relationship between the two to quell you of the angst that happened to them. Also, note that these mostly take place in their college professor days.

Happy Valentine's Day!

Also writing it because I just got a shot off fluff in my veins and I'd like to share them with y'all. I was listening to Mitski's "Me and my husband" then suddenly boom, this:

🧡 Professor Crane and Professor Crane, teach psychology and literature respectively. It might be confusing to some students, so you opted to go as Professor Y/N instead to make it easier, much to Jonathan's chagrin because it really does mean to him that you have his last name.

Not that you entirely changed it back, but it irked him a little. Why can't the little rascals differentiate you instead? But of course, you care about the students so he lets you be.

🧡 Let's get this out of the way, some of students ship you intensely. Romeo and Juliet? Edward and Bella? Fuck no, I want what these bitch have.

"Ugh, look at them," dreamily sighs a student amongst her table of close friends.

They follow her gaze, landing on their Professors, who is probably bickering about what to buy for lunch, whilst holding hands. They too find themselves sighing dreamily and staring at them.

🧡 Whenever he's grading papers, he'd be complaining about the students, ranting about how some of them had the audacity to bribe him.

"Hear this, Miss Giovanna had the gall to show her face at the faculty office demanding I give her the points she 'deserves'! Children these days, have they no decorum?"

"Mhmm..." You sleepily nodded, resisting the urge to doze off whilst in the middle of a conversation. Though, you find the pleasure to rest your head in a nestle out of your arms atop your husband's desk.

"Additionally, I've yet to mark her as present in any of my classes! Nor has she passed any of the assignments—" Jonathan halts, his attention snagged by your sleeping figure on his desk. He sighs. "Just as I was about to get to the good parts. Oh well."

He sets his pen aside for a moment to drape a blanket atop your shoulder before returning to his pile of papers.

🧡 You know how some students would fucking want to sleep with their professors for some ungodly reasons? Yeah.

"Repulsive," cringed Jonathan, causing you to wrap your arms around his neck whilst he grades papers.

"What's wrong?" You asked, your fingers finding its way through his hair and lightly scratching his scalp.

On one of the papers, written in pink ink, "Call me ;)" then a set of numbers.

"Oh." You sighed, just as repulsed as your husband. "Can't blame them, Professor Crane is quite the dashing one~"

Jonathan rolls his eyes at your remark, holding back the smile of flattery. "Oh please, clearly this student is desperate for extra credentials to survive this semester."

Or alternatively:

"Typical that freshmen won't break out of their high school mentality just yet. They travel around in flocks to single out an individual. Makes it the more difficult to get through places, the reprobates do tend to clog the corridors." Jonathan mutters to himself.

And it was fucking Valentine's Day. As if things couldn't get more annoying.

He arrives at the faculty office and immediately noticed your table practically overflowing with gifts, that he didn't spot you sitting behind your desk.

"Jon!" You call out enthusiastically, rising from your seat to skip beside him, before scooping him up for an embrace, peppering his face with kisses while you were at it.

In light of the commercialised holiday, you were more affectionate with him. Holiday spirits, he supposes... Though, he's not complaining. He hides his smile through a grumpy frown, turning his face away. Thankfully, none of the other professors were there. He'd cultivated his reputation, and he can't let them know how much of a softie he is for you.

"I honestly can't wait for tonight!" You finally stop with the kisses, but your arms remain around his neck.

"I noticed." He flatly remarks. He then point his attention to your table that is, again, flowing with gifts. Flick a match at it and your table will go off in flames so easily.

"Yeah, um... I guess they're desperate for extra credits from me too." You sheepishly chuckle.

"No I don't believe they need extra credit from literature of all classes." He narrowed his gaze at your table, perhaps taking names from whom did you receive those gifts and... Deal with them. Personally.

"Are you jealous?" You raise a brow at him.

"No, I'm your husband." Though it was an unintentional dad joke, he finds himself shaking his head when that pulled a giggle out of you.

"Yes, you are." Your finger light flick at the tip of his nose with a giggle. He rolls his eyes at the childish gesture. "And I think half of these gifts are of platonic love. Just appreciating their loveliest, most angelic teacher. And if they aren't, well I'd turn them down. Because I'm married," you flash his your hand, fluttering your fingers where your wedding band glimmers under the light. "And I'm married to you."

Another kiss landed on him, on his lips this time. God you best be thankful you're his spouse.

🧡 👏Jacket👏Sharing👏

"I didn't expect it to be this cold. Is it October already?"

"I'm afraid it is, dear."

"Heh... Autumn air certainly hits different in Georgia then." You chuckle to yourself, rubbing your arms, when a coat lands atop your shoulders. You look up at your husband, who then looked away from you, whilst supressing a besotted smile. "Oh you absolute softie..." You tease, nudging him by the arm before shrugging his coat on.

🧡 He's clingy and he doesn't want to admit it. Well, not that much as he'd state something along the lines of, "I recognise you as your own person, therefore I needn't be attached to at all times even if we are betrothed."

But then you left him for like a week when you were required to get out of the city for your seminars in the university and when you got home you walked in on him like this:

"Woe is me my feathered friend," sighs Jonathan, resting his head in a nestle of his arms by the window ledge. The aforementioned feathered friend came at the form of a crow perched a few inches away from him. "One has not truly suffered if they've not felt the extent of the saturnine silence from the absence of their other half... And I thought I've felt agony at its finest under that wench of a woman's thumb."

"Caw!"

"I concur."

And then when he realised you're there he acts as though the 'lovely feeling of solitary retreat' is now gone and you've ruined it. But you know 😄 We do stan a histrionic king.

🧡 Clings to you in his sleep, so I guess he's the big spoon. You'd feel his arms around you tightening at the smallest movement, groaning and nuzzling his face against your back. But there are times where he also wants to be held, engulfed in your arms, head buried in your chest.

🧡 Hand holding with you is the most calming, most therapeutic thing he has. In public, during walks, sex, etc. It's a feeling that grounds him, reminds him that you're there for him, just as he is for you. Affections are reserved at the privacy of your shared residence, but he likes to hold your hand when you're outside.

🧡 He is highly sentimental. Every letters, gifts, to the random things you give to him that you happen to pick up during walks, photographs... The way he also details every moment with you in his journals in a passing manner.

🧡 Being there comforting whenever he'd have flashbacks and nightmares from when he still lived with his absuive great grandmother. At this times, he liked being held, the warmth and firmness of your hold is what keeps him grounded in reality, along with your sweet whisper against his ear, telling him you were never going to leave him and that his great grandmother was no longer there to hurt him.

🧡 Sharing each others wardrobe is common. Some students can easily identify you wearing Professor Crane's sweater vest whilst he wore your tie. At some instances during chaperoning students at a foreign country where the weather is cold, some of them audibly "awwwwed" when you lent him a coat. They were met with threats of demerits, courtesy of Professor Jonathan.

🧡 Date nights are mandatory every one in a month, just a simple dinner date is the best way to unwind from work. Not only that, it was always at the time where your monthsaries occur, so that's also a plus. He always greets you with gifts spanning from practical gifts, the traditional flowers and sweets, to your interests.

🧡 Sometimes he would be caught in a daze with you in his line of sight, something that typically occurs when you're grading papers together. He has yet to comprehend that he finally had taken the reigns of his own life and paved his own path, leading to you— a spouse of course, peaceful residence where he awoke and first thing he sees is you, a stable job he loves where you happen to be doing the same as well... It was a course his younger self would have never thought his life would turn to, as he mostly thought about perhaps being outlived by his great granny.

Because of this, he cherished every moment with you, as you were always there in his every step of life and wants nothing more than you spend the rest of his life with you by his side.

[hwangsies]

LIMERENCE

(n) the state of becoming infatuated with another person

pairing: hyunjin x female reader

summary: you haven’t spoken a word to hyunjin since he ghosted you after a fun new years eve together, so what’s the worst that could happen when fate (or chaeryong,...well, same thing) pairs you up for a road trip across the country?

warnings: e2l (ish), university student!au, non idol!au ,a lot of swearing. alcohol consumption,long flashback, mentions of infidelity, hyunjin is a giggly sweetheart, smut as in: dom!hyunjin, unprotected sex (wrap it up luvs),fingering, oral (f recieving), slight choking, praise kink, hand & strenght kink (manhandleing oopsie), slight overstimulation, hyunjin is really enthusiastic about consent (as you should be, periodt), reader is nervous and scared of hyunjins big pickle (ew i hate myself), motel sex (but it’s not trashy i promise!)

8.6 k words ,meaning grab a snack and a drink,

and enjoy!<3

---

"alright everyone" your professor rubs his hands together "that was it for today... i hope you all have a great break and i'm very exited to see all of you again next semester. hopefully in person again" he chuckles.

You and your classmates exchange goodbyes with him before one after the other exits the zoom call.

"fuck" you sigh after closing your laptop and lean back on your bed.

"you did it girl" your dormmate chaeryong claps, at which you giggle before shifting your eyes to her on the other side of the room.

She's sitting on her bed, folding her clothes before putting it in her suitcase thats placed in front of her.

"finally" you sit up and watch her roll up a pair of socks.

"my last class was yesterday and mrs kim teared up" she giggles "it was kinda cute not gonna lie"

"oh god" you snicker.

"hey did you find someone to take to yongin?" you ask, remebering chearyong talking about wanting to find someone to share gas expenses with in exchange for a ride to her hometown.

"oh yea, i did" she turn to you "i think you know him, seo changbin?"

You furrow your brows in thought, you feel like you've heard of the name.

"he's a music major, one year above us, hes also from yongin" she continues folding a pair of jeans "funny you'd ask actually cause he told me one of his friends was looking for a ride to seoul, isn't that where you're going?"

"Yea i was thinking about finding someone honestly because gas is really fucking expensive if you aint rich" you say, placing your laptop onto your nightstand.

"Mm you aint gotta tell me girl" chaeryong mumbles, folding a sweatshirt.

"so who's that friend?" you ask, stretching out on your bed.

"he's in his grade, hyunjin"

Your neck almost cracks from how fats you whip your head “hwang hyunjin?”

"Oh yea" she points at you "you know him?"

"unfortunately" you huff.

"o-oh, what"s the tea?" your roommate wiggles her brows at which you shake your head.

"nothing much really" you sigh, leaning back again "he's just like the most arrogant and stuck up fuckboy ever"

"wow, well thats not nothing" chaeryong laughs "any reason as to why you think that?"

"you could probably ask any girl on campus and she'll tell you the same" you scoff.

"really girl?" chaeryong squints an eye at you playfully "cause i've only heard of him being hot but never of him being a hoe. And you know i'm the first to know the hot gossip" she winks.

Laughing defeatedly, running your hand through your hair.

"it's just- we hit it off at the campus' new years eve party, like really hit it off- at least thats what i thought"

"oooh spill it spill it" chaeryong leaps over to your bed to sit at the end of it.

"well there's really not much to spill, i gave him my number and he was talking all that smack about taking me out and stuff aaand to make a long story short i never heard from him again"

"well" chaeryong speaks slowly, biting her lip guiltily "i dont think you'll be very happy about me giving changbin your number for him, then?"

"you did what???" your eyes almost pop out of your head.

"sooorryy" she jumps up from your bed, clutching her hands apologetically "i didnt know"

"aaaaarghh" you whine, burying your face in your pillow.

"maybe he won't even text you though" chaeryong tries to console you, but the damage is already done...

-

unknown number - hey i got this number from changbin, i heard you're driving up to seoul, i'd love to tag along if you're looking for someone to share expenses with -recieved at 9:12 am

You huff looking at the message on your phone.

After chaeryong had left last night you really convinced yourself that he couldn't possibly dare to reach out to you.

But here you are reading his message after just waking up, and your day is already ruined.

you - who is this? - sent at 9:56 am

You know who it is, but you're not going to give him the satisfaction of thinking that you do.

Scoffing when he answers almost immediately.

unknown number - this is hyunjin, did i reach the right person? - recieved at 9:57 am

You have two choices at this point.

1. be petty and bitter about a boy who probably doesn't even remember you.

Or 2. move on and help someone who is also just trying to get home and also maybe get some closure.

So you curse your mother for rasing you so well and suck it up.

you - yea sure, i planned on leaving tomorrow at around 6 pm - sent at 10:02 am

Damn you and your common human decency.

he sus - oh okay great :) i only have one suitcase and a backpack btw so i wont take up alot of space or anything - recieved at 10:05 am

he sus - also i feel weird bc i dont know ur name or anything changbin literally just sent me the number and nothing else lol, also 6 sounds good should we meet at the main building then? -sent at 10:06 am

You're quite honestly not shocked that he seems nice over text because he was the same when you met on new years eve.

you - sure lets meet at the main building, my car is white and my name is y/n - sent at 10:09 am

Cringing as you press the send button because you are 99% certain he won't answer anymore; not that you'd care, obviously.

he sus - alright y/n see you tomorrow at 6 then :) - recieved at 10:14 am

You raise your brows when your phone lights up with his message, does he really not remember you?

Was he that drunk?

Well, it doesnt matter because you don't want to pay for all this gas alone and he seems to be the next best option to fix that.

So you shrug it off and get out off bed to run some last errands and start packing.

-

Your heart is beating unreasonably fast when you take a turn towards the main building at 5:55 pm the next day.

Calm down y/n it’ll just be 5 hours and who says you have to talk to him?

However you do know deep in your heart that you only wanted to arrive just a little early so you could complain about him being late.

That plan got cut short because your eyes fall on him as you pull up to the main building.

He’s- oh my god he’s blonde. You stop your car and he looks up at you.

“it is you!” hyunjin smiles at you when you step out of the car.

“who else would it be?” you ask, a little irritated at his reaction.

His face drops a bit when he sees you clearly annoyed by him, but the doesn’t blame you; he’d be mad too.

You open your trunk for him to put his weirdly small suitcase into, looking him up and down as he lifts it inside.

He’s wearing dark baggy pants and a windbreaker jacket, the top part of his chin-length blonde hair is pulled back into a messy ponytail.

He seemed to have bulked up as well, shoulders looking broader than what you remember.

The hair is different than the jet black hair that you remember on him, but it suits him very well; to be honest he would look good in any hair colour, not that you’d care though.

The first thirty minutes of the ride go by agonizingly slow and in complete silence.

When you drive onto the freeway you can’t take it anymore and mumble something among the lines of ‘wanna listen to some music?’.

You don’t wait for an answer, pressing the radio button right as you finish your sentence.

“uh, actually” hyunjin starts, his hand lifting to turn the radio back off, your eyes snap towards him, is he serious? Turning off your radio in your car?

“I wanted to address this situation” he says rather quietly.

You scoff “what? You realized that this is awkward just now?”

“no- I mean- yes I understand why you would think that but I just really want a chance to explain myself” he stutters.

“explain yourself” you repeat after him before mumbling “sure because there’s so much to explain”

“listen, I know you think I’m an asshole who just ghosted you b-“

“listen, I can handle rejection, you could’ve just said that you weren’t looking for something serious and I would’ve accepted that. The thing I’m mad about though is you literally making false promises and shit” 

Hyunjin blinks at you “can I please just explain to you what happened?”

You let out a long huff “sure” you wave your hand “go ahead”

“when you and your friends left at around 4, you wrote your number on my arm with your eyeliner, correct?” he asks.

Glancing over at him, you nod.

“after you where gone, I was already pretty drunk but then my friends decided to drag me with them to a different party that was still going” you see him fiddling with his hands in your peripheral “well I got super fucking shitfaced at that party and ended up puking on this one guys shoes”

You raise your eyebrows and hold back a laugh, which he notices.

“its okay you can laugh” he chuckles as well.

“anyways that guy was not very happy about it and busted my lip before kicking me and my friends out, so then back in the dorm my roommate sat me in the shower because I was full of alcohol, blood and puke”

“ew” you chime in.

“and when I woke up the next morning your number was gone” hyunjin looks over at you “we don’t have any mutual friends, I didn’t know what your major is so I couldn’t even asks for you in the administrating office, and then the covid lockdown happened and here we are”

“you called the administrating office?” you look over at him, he nods a little smile on his stupid pretty lips.

“yep, so, sorry to tell you but your eyeliner is not waterproof” he jokes at which you playfully knit your brows at him.

“believe me, I wanted to text you. I really wanted to take you out; and when you sent me your name yesterday I didn’t know if this was a lucky coincidence or if you’re a different y/n, that’s why I didn’t say anything” he explains.

You take a deep breath as you realize you have to apologize for going off on him just now, you believe him but you hate apologizing.

“well, I feel like an ass for going off on you like that after hearing all this” you chuckle “I’m sorry” you eye him shortly before looking back on the road.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to apologize I get how it looked, very much sus” he laughs with you.

-

Coming back to your car after you took a bathroom break on a highway rest-stop, you see hyunjin sitting in the drivers seat.

“what do you think you’re doing?” you smile as you sit down on the passenger seat.

“I thought maybe you’d like to sleep since its dark already and you’ve been driving for almost 3 hours” he suggests while putting on his seatbelt.

“well, I wont say no to that” you shrug and put your seatbelt on as well.

“so when did you go blonde?” you ask curiously.

“uh- around end of june” hyunjin chuckles “it was a dare if I’m being honest but I ended up liking it and got it redone”

“oh okay” you check out his profile once more and follow his hair with your eyes “I like it”

“yea?”

“yea, which is weird cause I’m usually not into blondes at all” you wonder.

“hm” he grins “must be me then” he says before winking at you.

“pfff, in your dreams” you rebuttal playfully, at which he laughs and mumbles a ‘true’.

You don’t react to it because you think your ears are playing tricks on you.

“hey I have a question too” hyunjin says.

“what’s up” you lean your arm against the window as you look over at him.

His face is slightly lit by the lights of the other cars, no seriously, how can a side profile be so perfect?

“why did you even agree to take me with you if you thought I ghosted you?” he grins.

You laugh “well, I’m a nice person and I know not a lot of people there are from seoul and my mom raised me right, okay?”

“okay okay” he giggles, the way his eyes crinkle when he does makes you smile everytime.

“or…did you have such a good time with me on new years that you just had to jump on this opportunity?” he quips, carefully stealing a peek at you.

“sure, why do you think I was so upset when you didn’t text” you feign sadness.

The both of you laugh before falling into comfortable silence.

When looking outside your window, you think back to said new years eve.

-(flashback)

“oh my god” you said, stepping into the big hall that usually is the universities gym. But whoever planned this outdid themselves.

A dj was placed on one of the tribunes and a whole buffet of drinks and punches on the other, as well as a big disco ball hanging from the ceiling, making the room shimmery and shiny.

You could see people coming out of the doors that connected into the universities hall on one side and into the locker rooms on the others, as if it wasn’t already packed.

“this is fucking insane” lia, your roommate from last semester, squeaked while grabbing your arm and jumping a little, her voice overpowering the blasting music..

“I wanna get fucking hammered tonight” you turned to her.

“oh babe don’t worry,  we didn’t come here to drink soda” she laughed before spotting some of your other friends.

About five minutes before midnight you and some more girls gathered at the buffet of drinks and started doing shots.

You all had decided that instead of kissing someone at 12 o’clock you’d ring in 2020 with a shot, because alcohol can’t cheat on you.

You were laughing at something when some people started the countdown.

10!

9!

8!

7!

6!

5!

4!

3!

2!

1!

“HAPPY NEW YEAR”

Every one shouted and celebrated in union as you downed your shot.

“happy new year babe” lia hugged you after downing hers.

“happy new year!” you shouted into her ear, full of relief that this stressful year was over.

“lets do another one” she grinned widely after your whole friend group had shared their wishes with each other.

A girl you didn’t know very well handed you another shot, just as you emptied your glass you heard a guy yell something before stumbling into your back.

“jesus” you stumbled forward a bit before turning around, ready to throw someone a dirty look.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” in front of you suddenly stood a tall dark haired young man with almost too perfect facial features, frowning a little out of concern.

“nothing happened” you smiled, taking a step towards him so he’d hear you better.

“I’m glad” he replied, a grin slowly stretched across his handsome face

“I’m y/n” you giggled as you held out your hand.

His eyes crinkled with his smile as he took your hand in his “I’m hyunjin” he said before pressing a kiss to the back of your hand.

“okay guys let her have her fun lets go over there” you hear lia usher your friends away from behind you.

“happy new year y/n” he said before instinctively pulling you a little closer to him when a group of people passed behind you.

“happy new year hyunjin” you replied, a slow blush creeping on your face from how intensely he was taking in your appearance.

“well yea happy fucking new years to me for running into you” he joked before taking a sip, your brain wasn’t able to function anymore so you just giggled and nervously pushed your hair behind your ear.

It had been way too long since you’d talked to a guy, especially someone as attractive as him

“you’re fucking stunning” hyunjin complimented you and lifted your hand with his to make you spin for him, to which you complied because you took a long time getting ready and always appreciate being appreciated.

“thank you” you were crimson red by now but hoped he wouldn’t see because of the dimmed lights.

“how come I’ve never seen you around? I would’ve remembered you” he tilted his head.

“oh this was my first year here and I live on the other side of campus so…” you nodded slowly “but yea I would’ve remembered you too”

He grinned before downing his drink and putting on the table next to the both of you.

“wanna dance?”

That’s how you found yourself on the dance floor with hyunjin pressed against your back.

Slowly but surely the alcohol made you braver; and it didn’t take long for the dj to play perfect songs to grind yourself against his toned body to.

His reaction was instant, hands gripping even harder at your waist and his own movements matching your own.

You looked back at him just to have the air knocked out of your lungs, a barely there sheen of sweat was covering his forehead; his pupils were dilated and his lips were slightly parted before his tongue swiftly swept over his lower lip.

He looked like sex on legs and moved like it too.

His plump lips formed into a grin when he noticed you staring, you didn’t know if it was the alcohol running through your system but you so desperately wanted to kiss him.

“can’t stop looking at you either, pretty” he lowered his head to mumble against your cheek before pressing a kiss there.

“you’re so goddamn sexy” you blurted out as you turned around to face him, running one of your hands through his dark hair before positioning them on his firm chest.

He threw back his head as his chest vibrated with laughter.

“don’t laugh at me” you laughed as you locked eyes again.

“you’re cute when you’re drunk” hyunjin brought one hand to your face to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear.

“you dont even know me sober” you giggle “also i’m not drunk!” you protested playfully, his hands found your waist in the meantime to pull you flush to his body; at which you gasped almost inaudibly.

“oh really?” he looked down at you, clearly amused “didn’t you drink like 5 shots half an hour ago?”

“well well well, I didn’t know I had an audience” you countered, looping your arms around his neck.

Hyunjin prodded at the inside of his cheek with his tongue before looking away for a swift second, slightly embarrassed because he just exposed himself.

You felt yourself gush a little when he licked his lips again after bringing his gaze back to you.

“so you almost knocked me over on purpose?” you grinned even bigger when he shook his head laughingly.

“listen” he chuckled, leaning down unnecessarily close because you could hear him perfectly fine but you weren’t going to complain.

“I actually didn’t run into you on purpose, that was my friends doing after he saw me notice you” he said.

You mouthed an ‘ahh’ while nodding, feigning disbelief.

“I’m serious” hyunjin laughed “I still have to thank him later; I would’ve probably chickened out”

He got quieter at the end of his sentence, his eyes jumping to your lips when you wet your lower lip with your tongue quickly.

“i-m glad he pushed you then” you replied, trying to hide the fact that your heart was pumping your blood in record time.

“yea” he inched his face closer to yours as you tilted your chin up to meet him in the middle “me too”

His eyes switched from your lips to your eyes one more time before closing the gap between the both of you.

His lips were firm but soft at the same time in the way they moulded against yours, you swore you could hear lia squealing from somewhere but maybe you were just hearing things.

But when his tongue touched yours in the most tentative way you lost contact to what was going on around you, slinging your arms tighter around his neck and deepening the kiss.

A tiny groan escaped hyunjins throat when you carded your fingers through his hair to tug on it and release some of the adrenalin that rushed through you.

He was slow and explorative and let you take control from time to time before sucking on your lower lip and making you loose it.

You didn’t know how many songs had passed; to be honest you didn’t even remember what song was playing when you started kissing.

All you knew in that moment was hyunjins lightly flushed cheeks, swollen lips and dark glistening eyes.

“let’s go somewhere else?” he questioned in a whisper when you bit your lip, nodding at his question.

He grabbed your hand in his before manoeuvring the both of you through the dancing and celebrating crowd.

Before you knew it, hyunjin pulled you into the entrance hall of the university where multiple people had the same idea as you.

Couples scattered across the big room, some just talking, most of them however making out heavily.

“come on” he softly tugged at your hand, smiling when your gaze falls on him.

He lead you up the big flight of stairs onto a floor of the building you’ve never been to, stopping in front of a random room before pulling a small set of keys out of his back pocket.

After unlocking the door, he opened it to let you step inside.

It was a dance studio, the wall right across from you was just one huge mirror through which you could see the big couch in the back of the room and the water dispensers next to it.

“why do you have the keys for this room?” you asked, giggling.

Hyunjin grinned as he closed the door “I’m a dance major, we all have keys for the practice rooms”

“that’s so cool” you beamed “I wish I could dance” you looked around the room, walking towards the mirrored wall a little bit.

“you were moving just fine earlier” hyunjin came up behind you, nimble hands finding your waist as he looked you up and down through the mirror intensely, now that you were under the bright lights of the room.

You couldn’t help but to smile a little at that, the tight little glitter dress that you had chosen really did accentuate your curves in the best way possible, paired with the cute black heels which made your legs look way longer than they actually are.

“but that was like club sexy dancing, you know?” you elaborated.

“hm” he hummed amusedly “whats wrong with sexy club dancing?” you turned around to him.

He didn’t look to shabby himself, all in black, a chic button up with some jeans and a belt; accessorized with rings on his pretty fingers, a  dainty silver necklace and some small earrings.

Some might say he was underdressed, but the way he carried himself with such confidence, and that face of his must for sure be a panty dropper, you thought.

“nothing but… I don’t know, teach me something” you pleaded.

“what do you want me to teach you?” he laughed.

“I don’t know a pirouette or something” you suggested, laughing as well.

“okay” he grinned “this is like the base stance” he positioned himself correctly before looking at you to see if you were following his instructions.

“mhm” you hummed, replicating what he was doing.

“and then you get momentum with one leg to be able to swing yourself around, like this” hyunjin explained before executing a perfect pirouette and ending it back in the base stance.

“that was fast” you chuckled.

“your turn” he grins before moving behind you “try to keep your eyes on yourself in the mirror otherwise you’ll loose balance”

“okay” you said unsurely.

“I’ll catch you if you fall” he winked at you, at which you scoff playfully before carefully swinging yourself into a pirouette.

You landed on wobbly legs but before you could tip over hyunjin stabilized you with a firm grip on your hips.

“you’re a natural” he grinned at you through the mirror.

“well thank you” you playfully feigned cockiness before he spun you around himself.

A few seconds pass of the both of you taking in each others features in silence, the only thing you could hear was the faint music of the party downstairs, before hyunjin spoke up.

“can I kiss you?”

You fell into giggles again as you let your forehead rest against his collarbone before looking up again “we’ve kissed before”

“yea but that was like a moment and I don’t want to catch you off guard or anything” he mumbles cutely.

“mm” you nod “ you can kiss me”

And with a smile, he does.

You weren’t surprised when his first gentle ministrations turned into more desperate ones rather quickly because you could feel the warmth spread in your lower regions as well.

He walked the both of you over to the couch, only parting from your lips when he sat down on the black leather material of the couch.

“come here, pretty girl” he took your hand to help you straddle him, your dress riding up but you couldn’t care less if he saw your safety shorts, and he didn’t seem to care either by the way he feverishly connected your lips again.

His hands travelled down to squeeze at your waist before smoothing over your ass and grabbing a handful of each cheek, you moaned into the kiss when you realized how big his hands were.

Your own hands were squeezing at his shoulders before one moved into his soft hair while the other softly rested on his cheek.

The kiss was messy and desperate, teeth clinking together and tongues licking at each other.

The things that riled you up the most however were his groans and praises.

“you’re so fucking sexy” he groaned before moving down to kiss at your jaw and down your neck.

A needy whimper escaped from your throat when he started suckling the sensitive skin at the base of your throat.

“fuck-hyunjin” you moaned when his teeth grazed over your clavicle.

Your hands fumbled before landing on his belt, at which he pulled away from your skin, gently taking your hands off of his belt.

“I’d love to take you out first, actually” his pretty kiss swollen lips twitched up into a shy smile as he pants.

“oh” you were taken aback, you were almost certain that this was something regular for him “I thought-“

“I mean if you just want to fuck we can fuck of course” he chuckled “but- I actually think you’re really cute and fun and I’d love to get to know you better”

Your mouth stood a little agape “uh- I mean-I” you stuttered, your brain not functioning properly because of the alcohol running through your veins but also him!

“its okay if you just want, you know-“

“no!” you blurted out all over sudden, making him flinch a little “sorry, uhm- its just been a while since I had a date” you smile apologetically.

His expression visibly brightens “that’s okay” he giggled “so is that a yes?”

You grinned, leaning in to just barely brush your lips with his, his head twitching upwards in an attempt to connect them fully.

“yes” you whispered, at which he smiled brightly before pulling your in for a kiss by your neck.

-(flashback end)

“y/n”

“hey, y/n” you grumble when you feel someone gently rocking your shulder.

“mmm-what?” you peek your eyes open just to see hyunjin smile at you.

“good morning sunshine” he teases as you sit up in your seat when you realize you aren’t driving anymore.

“just kidding its not morning” he says as you look around your car, realizing your on a parking lot.

“where the fuck are we?” you whip your head towards him “did you bring me here to kill me? kidnap me?”

“wha?- no” he laughs “no, I’m sorry. Right after you fell asleep there was this huge traffic jam because of an accident and we stood there for almost 3 hours so I drove off and found this” he points out the rear window, where you see a small motel building.

You look back at him before checking the time on your phone, seeing it was indeed almost midnight.

“fuck” you swear to yourself.

“I didn’t know if you wanted to keep driving because I was getting tired so I thought maybe-“ hyunjin starts rambling guiltily, not wanting you to thing that this was an attempt to get in your pants.

“hey” you put your hand on his shoulder after taking off your seatbelt “this is good, you made the right decision I think we both could use some sleep” you say.

You each take your suitcases and walk inside, it’s an old building but it looks pretty clean for a motel off of the highway.

“good evening you two” an old lady sits behind the, probably just as old, reception.

“good evening, could we get 2 single rooms, please” hyunjin speaks up politely.

“I’m afraid we only have 2 double bed rooms available, if you’d like to take them, they will however be more expensive than the rooms for one” she explains politely.

“its okay, we’ll take one of those, please” you decide, hyunjins head snapping towards you.

“is that okay?” you ask him.

“yea- sure” he nods.

“alright, room 301 it is” she hands you the key before stating that you’ll have to checkout before 12 pm and what the room costs.

“do you accept card?” hyunjin asks at which the friendly old lady nods before taking his card and swiping it through her little machine.

“I’ll venmo you half of what you paid” you say after unlocking room 301.

He tsk’s at you before shaking his head ���don’t, it was my idea so I’ll pay”

“are you sure?” you ask closing the door behind you when he turns on the lights.

“yup-oh” he exclaims.

“this room is cute” you say, it’s small but the walls are a soft sunflower yellow, decorated with paintings of autumn leaves .

The bed looks clean, and when you smell the mouse gray blankets and pillows, they smell fresh as well.

“stop smelling the pillows” hyunjin laughs.

“I’ve never been to a motel, I thought everything would be dirty or ancient” you confess comically.

He chuckles as he comes out of the small bathroom “the bathroom is clean too, don’t worry” he says when you look at him expectantly.

“I’ll sleep on the floor if you want” he offers as you open your suitcase to get out your toothbrush and pj’s.

“it’s fine, hyunjin I’ve slept in the same bed as a male before” you joke.

“well how am I supposed to know that?” he counters, at which you throw your pj shorts at him out of reflex.

When you realize what you had done it was too late, he was already holding them out in front of him before giggling.

“very cute choice” he mocks the small white shorts with red hearts all over it.

“stoop” you whine, trying to fish it out of his hands but he holds them over his head like a kindergartener.

“I remember why I don’t like you” you pout, crossing your arms.

His face drops alongside with his arms “I thought we were past that”

You use his moment of weakness to snatch your shorts out of his hands “gotcha”

-

“see I told you I was gonna take you out” hyunjin beams at you before looking down at the various snacks he took from the motels vending machine, which were laying in between the both of you on the bed.

“and so luxurious too” you joke, crossing your legs.

“only the best for you” he grins when you open a pack of fruit jellies.

“you know, I was thinking about new years” you say “ and I realized that it was your fault!”

Hyunjin throws his head back as he groans playfully “why?”

“if you hadn’t lost your phone when we got back downstairs, I wouldn’t have had to write my number on your arm; or you could’ve just given me your number and I could’ve text you. But you didn’t even know your own number!” you laugh in reminiscence.

“listen” he laughs “I was drunk and you’re hot! I couldn’t think” he defends himself before taking a bite off a chocolate bar.

You blush a little but play it off with a laugh.

“but yes, I admit, it was indeed my fault” he dramatically holds his hand in front of his eyes.

“yeeees!” you exclaim victoriously.

“I’m kidding though” you pat his knee “I forgive you”

“I’m glad” he smiles.

After the both of you are done eating way too many sweets, you find yourself being really comfortable when talking to hyunjin.

He’s funny, doesn’t seem like he’s full of himself and just in general seems like a very kind person.

“I thought you were a fuckboy when me met” you confess, looking at him.

Propped on one elbow looking down at you, while you lay on your side towards him, his face illuminated only by the little lights on each of your nightstands.

“you did?” he asks confusedly.

“yea” you chuckle “you were so confident and…sexy I don’t know” you place your hand over your face in embarrassment.

“oh that was the liquid courage talking, I’m usually pretty shy” he shakes his head smilingly when you peek through your fingers.

“don’t lie” you push his shoulder softly.

“I’m serious!” he laughs.

“you were the first guy to approach me at a party” you pause “like ever”

“no way, you’re lying now” he furrows his brows.

“nope” you shake your head.

“but I was really close to not talking to you as well, I’m sure there were many guys before me that just didn’t have the liquid courage, like I did” he speculates.

“maybe” you say.

“have any exes?” he asks after a few seconds.

“yea, one”

“well how did you meet him?”

“he showed me around on my first day of freshman year, I transferred like in the middle of the first semester so I wasn’t with any other freshmen” you tell him.

“why’d you break up if I may ask?” hyunjin asks carefully.

“oh we were only together for like three weeks, you can’t even call I relationship. He used me to make his hot ex jealous and cheated on me with her” you say “but hey they’re back together at least” you scoff.

“i’m sorry” he mumbles at which you look up at him.

“it’s not your fault” you chuckle.

“well, still no one should feel that way” he says “you know that you were way too good for him right?”

You nod.

“what about you? Have any exes?” you ask back.

He snickers “only one in seoul”

“why didn’t you last?”

“it was a long distance situation, she was super jealous and couldn’t trust me. which I can understand to a certain degree but everytime I went out she wanted me to facetime her and show her what kinds of people were there with me. That was just too much” he explains.

“wow” you chuckle “that doesn’t sound fun either”

Hyunjin shakes his head “nope, but hey we got rid of ‘em, didn’t we?”

“yea” you giggle “plus if I hadn’t broken up with him I would’ve probably never gone to the new years eve party”

“I guess I owe him something then” he grins as you scooch up on the bed.

“can I kiss you?” you ask after a few seconds of silence.

“hm?” hyunjins eyes almost spring out of his head.

“I don’t want to catch you off guard” you grin as you repeat his words from the night you met, sitting up.

He licks his lower lip as a grin stretches over his face as he sits up as well “do your worst”

You get up on your knees to shuffle over to him, when you get close enough hyunjin grabs one of your thighs and lifts it over his legs so you’re straddling him.

Once you sit down on his lap, your eyes lock again and you’re once again baffled as to how someone can be so god damn attractive.

His eyes flicker from your eyes to your lips expectantly, a shaky breath leaving his lips when you lean in.

Your lips connect and it feels like all the pent up energy of liking him since that night finally gets set free, sparks glowing behind your lit and his hands leaving a trail of fire where ever they go.

They squeeze at your thighs and waist, pulling you impossibly close to himself.

A whimper tears from your throat when his tongue licks at yours, he tastes like chocolate and what could only be described as him.

He moans into the kiss when you tug at the blonde locks that weren’t pulled back into the ponytail; before pulling the hair tie out of his hair to free it and finally card your fingers through all of the blonde glory.

Before you realize what’s going on, hyunjin lifts the both of you before dropping you on your back and crawling above you.

The fact that he just lifted the both of you from a sitting position as if you weigh nothing makes you feel all types of hot.

“you’re so hot holy shit” you pant as you push his long hair out of his face.

“ditto” he only grins before attaching his lips to your exposed collarbone and sucking a bruise into the skin.

“take it off” you moan as you tug on the dark blue calvin klein shirt he’s wearing.

His lips release the skin of your collarbone before sitting up to pull the shirt over his head.

If your mouth wasn’t already open from your heavy breathing, you would’ve opened it now because his body is more sculpted and toned than you had expected.

Your hand lifts to smooth over his abs, muscles flexing as he connects your lips again.

His one hand slides from your waist up to cup one of your breasts, gently palming the soft flesh.

“I know I said I wanted to take you out first but-“ he mumbles against your lips.

“you bought me a lovely dinner” you interrupt him, threading your fingers through the hair that’s falling down into his vision.

He grins, dropping a short peck to your lips before his the grin gets wiped off his face “I don’t have a condom with me”

“I’m on the pill” you let him know “I got tested before the lockdown and I haven’t been with anyone since soo…”

“yea, me too, I was tested a few months ago” he nods.

You nod back, biting your lip as you absently play with his hair.

“do you trust me?” hyunjin asks, observing your demeanour.

“yea- yea I do I’m just nervous” you smile awkwardly.

“no” he coos before kissing you “why are you nervous?”

“just haven’t been with anyone for a while” you confess.

Hyunjin nods understandingly “if you don’t want to do this we’ll stop”

“no I really want to” you look into his eyes as confidently as you can.

“okay” he smiles, planting his lips on yours again.

“can i?” his voice gives you goosebumps when he mumbles against the sensitive skin under your ear, his fingers slowy undoing the loose knot of your heart shorts.

“yes” you say when he locks eyes with you.

“I love these shorts” he softly presses a kiss to your knee, trying to calm your nerves a little, before he gently rocks your hips to pull them off of you.

You blush a little out of embarrassment but smile when you lift your hips to help him.

“cute” he whispers when he see’s your panties have a little bow on the front.

He chuckles when you hide your face in embarrassment, pulling you closer to him again by your thighs before you let him kiss you again.

“can I take this off too?” hyunjin whispers, softly pulling at the fabric of the tank top you’re wearing, at which you nod.

You are still wearing a bra when he pulls it off so you take it into your own hands and unclasp your bra.

Your nipples stiffen a little at the sudden exposure to air, as well as to hyunjin’s admiring gaze.

“fuck” he muses when palming your breasts in his big hands, gently pushing them together an running his thumbs over your nipples.

A whimper involuntarily leaves your lips when he wraps his plump lips around one of the perked up nubs and sucks gently.

“so fucking pretty, princess” you feel yourself pathetically clench around nothing at his praise.

You feel one of his hands wander downwards to provide some friction for you, he slots his lips against yours when you tentatively roll your hips against his hand.

Hyunjin feels his cock get even harder when an almost desperate moan tumbles from your lips against his. So he ads a little more pressure and starts circling your clit with two fingers, your sighs of pleasure mixing into the kiss.

“you’re so sensitive baby” he whispers as he parts his lips from yours “can I go down on you?” he grazes his lips over your chest, looking up at you seductively.

You nod as you bite your lip, hyunjin placing a few kisses on your tummy before shortly sitting up to also free you from your soaked panties.

The first stripe he licks up your slit, and how he swirls the tip of his tongue around your clit expertly sends you to heaven.

His hands are gripping your thighs to prevent you from closing your legs, your hands are tangled in his hair and the sheets.

“hyunj-fuck” you cry out when his tongue enters you.

He carefully prods one finger at your entrance “is that okay?” he asks, his voice hoarse and dripping with lust.

“yea” you sigh.

Once you adjust to one finger, he adds a second one, curling them upwards to search for that specific patch inside of you.

“yes-fuck right there” you moan when his fingers press onto the sweetest spot inside of you, tugging at his hair a little harshly. But you feel him moan against you, getting lost in your taste as he sucks your clit in between his soft lips.

Your hips buckle against his mouth as your eyes roll backwards, feeling the warmth of your orgasm approach rapidly.

“fuck fuck yes-hyunjin” you cry out just before he tipped you over the edge with his skillful ministration, your orgasm rushing up your spine and into your head, endorphins spreading everywhere.

A cry of pleasure fills the room as your thighs starts trembling with the aftershocks, clamping around his head when he drives you into overstimulation.

“oh-shit-“ you pant as you softly pushed on his forehead to get him away from your clit, his fingers still inside you, guiding you through your high.

He nibbles on your inner thigh apologetically. You can still hear your heartbeat in your ears after hyunjin removes his fingers from you and sits up, gently holding your legs together to help you calm down.

“fuck” you mewl, a soft smile tugging at his lips.

He’s wanted to do this for so long and there you are, with all of your naked glory in front of him.

While he’s daydreaming about you, you sit up and start fiddling with his sweatpants.

“you want more?” he quips, once he realises what you’re doing, leaning in to kiss you.

“mhm” you humm into the kiss affirmitavely when his hand holds you close to him by your jaw.

With a quick last peck to your lips he simultaneously shimmies the soft black sweats and his boxers off of himself.

You apparently visibly gulp at the sight of his cock because hyunjin smirks cockily “like what you see?” as he crawls above you again, his lips finding yours again and not waiting for an answer.

“I don’t know if you’ll fit” you mumble when he suckles at the soft nook of skin under your ear.

“we can stop here” he offers softly before locking eyes again.

You shake your head as you reach down to fist his length, slowly pumping it and smearing the few drops of precum around.

“no, you’re just really big” you huff with a shy smile on your lips at which hyunjin groans.

“you’re gonna be the death of me, you know?” he mutters against your lips before kissing you deeply, his hand smoothing over the slope of your waist before coming up to gently pinch at one of your nipples.

Eliciting a soft high pitched moan from you, this only spurs him on.

Rolling his tongue against yours desperately and making you taste yourself before sinfully sucking at the wet muscle.

All the while you’re stroking him with your small hand before cupping his balls, as if he didn’t already feel like he’s gonna blow his load way too early.

“please” you whine, guiding his reddened tip towards your entrance.

Hyunjin releases a shaky breath before replacing your hand with his, rutting his hips against yours a few times, coating his length in your wetness.

This already had your toes curling, suppressing a whine as you lock your legs around his waist.

“tell me if it hurts, yea?” he breathes, only pressing inside you after you nod, dropping a kiss to your swollen lips.

“fuck” he swears softly, tucking his face in the crook of your neck when he breaches your tight walls for the first time.

Your fingers tighten in his hair at the back of his neck when a subtle sting flares up inside of you.

“ah-“ your body flinches a little when he presses further inside, hyunjin notices, observing your expression before kissing your cheek and sitting up slowly.

“you’re doing so good, baby” he lifts his thumb to his lips, swiftly kitten-licking the digit before bringing it to where your bodies join.

Gently rolling your clit under his thumb to distract you from the pain.

“you look so perfect like this” his other hand travels over your stomach to gently squeeze at your breasts “all spread out for me”

You whimper, arching your back when hyunjin thrusts into you carefully; the pain slowly subsiding and the ache to be fully filled up by him growing exponentially when his cock rubs against your g spot.

“hyunjin” you moan, gripping onto his hand, which is resting atop your breast.

“yes baby, I’m here” he groans at how tight you feel once he’s balls deep inside of you, abandoning your clit to grab you by the hips for leverage.

His other hand resting on your cheek now, after a few trusts you moan “harder, please”

Hyunjin groans and fulfils your wish, at one particularly harsh thrust, you latch your lips around his pointer and middle finger, sucking at them.

“oh my god-that’s so fucking hot” he grunts through clenched teeth.

His cock dragging along your walls deliciously, filling you up to the brim as you hum around his slender fingers in pleasure.

“you like my hands that much baby?” his jaw is clenched and the grip on your waist is rough , the contrast to how sweet he was just a few minutes earlier had you clench around him furiously.

“fuck-“ he breathes when you nod to the best of your abilities, eyes wide open and holding his gaze.

You only release his fingers from in between your lips in favour for a loud high pitched moan when his other hand finds your clit again, rubbing harsh circles into the bud.

“-gonna cum-huynjin” you dig your nails into his biceps, eyes squeezing shut.

“yea?” he grits through his teeth the fingers that were previously trapped in your mouth now wrapping around your bared throat.

Not squeezing tightly, just resting there as if to show you that you’re his now.

Your thought gets confirmed when he rasps “you’re gonna date me after this, right pretty girl?”

You do look so pretty right now, tits bouncing and skin slapping because of the fast rhythm that he’s snapping his hips into yours, not to mention the subtle sheen of sweat that’s coating the both of you.

A desperate breathy chuckle tumbles from your lips “ yes-yes fuck” you feel your second orgasm creeping up on you.

“cum for me princess, all over my cock” he urges you on, his tip hammering into the sweet spot inside of you repeatedly before you crash into your second high of the night.

Your body convulses in pleasure as you call out his name mixed with profanities, your toes curling so hard you’re not sure if you can ever uncurl them again, and your nails probably leaving painful indents in his skin.

His thumb on your clit slows down until you grab his hand for him to stop, his hand around your neck grabs your free one, holding both of your hands over your head now.

“so good, baby” he mumbles, kissing your lips; mostly just breathing into each other as he rocks you through every wave of your orgasm.

Hyunjin looses himself in you not long after with a guttural moan and his eyes squeezing shut.

You coax him through it when he rests his face against your neck again, running your fingertips through his damp hair and over his broad back, muscles tensing under your gentle touch.

i“don’t fall asleep on me” you whisper sneakily, grinning when he chuckles against your neck, tickling the soft skin there.

He props himself up again to scan over your features, pushing some hair out of your face before kissing you tenderly.

“you okay?” his hand resting at your temple as he gently runs his thumb over your hairline.

“more than” you assure him, cupping his cheeks to pull his lips onto yours again.You think you can never get enough of his lips, anything about him for that matter; not when he makes you feel so cared about and safe.

“so does this mean we’re dating now?” he whispers after he has cleaned you up and tucked the both of you in bed.

“hmh” you nod your head sleepily, positioned on his bare chest.

“so I can spoon you once we fall asleep?” he asks, grin evident in his voice.

“you can spoon me but you can’t wake me up in the middle of the night if you get horny” you mumble jokingly, enjoying his fingers running down your spine as your eyelids get heavier.

“okay” he giggles softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before you whisper your good nights to each other.

And as promised, he doesn’t wake you up in the middle of the night because he’s horny.

It’s you who wakes him, because after 10 months of wasted time, you have a lot of catching up to do.

-

a/n: oml this is my first ever long fic so pls pls pls give me feedback, i had so much fun writing his even though it made me feel even more single but hey :))))

allsooo i waited til after work to publish this and i just saw i hit 500 followers?!?!?! thats crazy to me omg i started this like 2 months ago and so many ppl liked my stuff so much that they decided to follow me?? so i just wanna say thank u thank u thank u for hitting the follow button even though im very unorganized and everything i do is spontaneaous and not thought out well. but hey i guess there is a reason that u followed me so thank u!

(i’d love if u sent me an ask with the first one of my writings that u stumbled across, and how <3 ...only if u want tho no pressure) 

anyways thank u so much for reading if you’ve made it this far! i hope you have a great day/ night! much love

-aj

(this is a work of fiction and does not represent the real actions of stray kids or hwang hyunjin)

[softyoongiionly]

Fear and Dumplings: Chapter Seventeen

Confronting your fears for a final grade sounds unappealing but, with Yoongi as your partner, things might not be so bad.

Summary: You’re in your final semester at University when your Abnormal Psychology professor assigns you a partnered project surrounding your greatest fears. Lucky for you, your partner just so happens to be a cute boy named Min Yoongi.

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Underground Rapper! Yoongi, Soft!!! Yoongi, Fluff!!!, College! Yoongi, Sub! Yoongi

Word Count: 9.1k

A/N: Hi friends! Here is a new chapter for you. I know it’s been a super duper long time since I’ve updated this series but, I plan on wrapping up the current timeline (wink wink) within the first half of the year! Special shoutout to my amazing friend @bulletproofbirdy​ who I love so so much. Without her big genius brain, I would literally not be able to get through any of my wip. Another huge shoutout to @gldnrecs​ @kithtaehyung​ @yoonia​ and @randombtsprincessa​ for being my lil hype team. I love you! Also, thank you to everyone over at @bangtansorciere​. I am so grateful to have met so many lovely new friends this year! okiii bye. I hope you like it!

NOTE: all bolded words indicate when characters are speaking Korean

Warnings for this Chapter: ok here we go…(TRIGGER WARNING)

moderate angst, drug use (marijuana), mentions of anxiety, brief allusions to physical abuse, very brief allusions to drug addiction, alcohol 

Chapter Seventeen: Daegu and Dirty Laundry

No thoughts, head empty (and in Yoongi’s lap)

The two of you are in his living room, bags packed by the front door, awaiting the cab to take you to the airport.  

In a few short hours, you were leaving on a plane to Daegu to visit Yoongi’s older brother and, you can tell by the way he’s shuffled around all morning that he’s anxious.  

Thankfully, Hoseok and Namjoon woke up with him, knowing that emotions would be high and well- offered to get him high.

“This is a really good indica strain hyung,” Hoseok assures him as he hands over a zip-lock bag, “I rolled a joint with this last night and passed out in like 30 minutes.”

Yoongi, dressed in an all-black sweat outfit, accepts the bag into the palm of his hand, before grabbing the pipe that’s resting on the couch cushion beside him.

“Did you get it from that same guy?” Yoongi asks, his voice heavy beneath the obvious tension he’s feeling.

Despite his attempts to remain casual, you know him well enough to feel how nervous he is. He’s practically vibrating beneath you but, you know that pointing this out will only make it worse so instead, you merely rub the outside of his thigh whilst he packs his pipe. 

“Yeah, Jin’s friend-” Hoseok responds before nodding to Namjoon, “He’s honestly killing it right now. Jin told me he’s made like 5 grand already.”

Namjoon raises his brows, “Really? Damn, that’s impressive, I’ve never heard of anyone taking off that fast.”

“Jin has a lot of contacts-” Yoongi offers, adjusting the bud once more before grabbing his lighter, “it probably helped him get started. Plus, I think a lot of people around here have been looking for a good plug. Whatever he’s doing is working though, the high from last night was pretty good.”

At Yoongi’s comment, Hoseok’s lip melt into a salacious smirk as he raises his brows and jerks his chin towards you, “Are you sure it had nothing to do with that one over there?” He teases, “Yah, what are you so quiet for? You haven’t given me shit all morning...”

His comment makes you giggle but Yoongi cuts in before you’re able to respond.

“She’s tired, leave her alone.” He scolds but his lips twitch at the sound of your laughter.

Hoseok snickers as you finally decide to sit up. You can feel Yoongi’s eyes on you even as he lifts the pipe to his mouth. Tucking yourself into the side of the couch, you finally decide to add to the conversation.

“Is the guy you pick up named Yugyeom by chance?” The sleepiness in your tone is more obvious than you were expecting and, it makes Yoongi smile to himself whilst he lights his pipe.

Namjoon nods, “Yeah, it is. Do you know him?”

Yoongi’s attention is on you even as he inhales his first hit, the nerves in his body standing at attention, waiting to be soothed.  

“He was in my human sexuality class.” You remember, with a grin on your lips, “That’s actually where I met Jin too. I just had a feeling that it was him because, he literally always came to class high. Plus, him and Jin were like inseparable.”

Namjoon winces, “Of all the people to get stuck learning about sex with. I’m sorry...”

This makes you laugh, as your mind journey’s back to all the days you spent trying not to make a scene as Jin made sexual puns in the middle of a serious lecture.  

“It definitely kept things interesting...” You offer, “I’m glad to hear that Yugyeom is thriving on his own. He mentioned his dad wanted him to join the family business but, I could never picture that man in a suit.”

Hoseok chuckles before his face tightens with intrigue, “Oof that makes one of us. He would look fine as hell in a suit.”

Namjoon grins, nudging Hoseok with his foot, “You got a thing for him?”

For the first time, you see a hint of shyness overcoming Hoseok’s demeanor but he shrugs it off, trying to appear casual, “I mean- I don’t know about all that. I’m just saying that he would look good in a suit.”

“You’d both look good in suits- together...” You offer, grinning at him, “Maybe in a private venue somewhere...”

Hoseok rolls his eyes but the smile creeping onto his lips is unmistakable, “Shut up- you guys are fucking wild. All I said is that he was hot...”

Giggling, you shrug your shoulders before nodding over to Yoongi, “Yeah well that’s how it starts-” You warn, “Then the next thing you know, you’re sitting on the subway, simping over a selfie he sends you.”

Yoongi’s soft lips immediately turn up in a small smile, the shy boy in him peeking out. At first, he says nothing as he merely passes the pipe to Namjoon, who mirrors a similar expression.

Hoseok is back to his normal mischief, feeling relieved that the heat is off him for the time being.  

“Are you saying you’d marry Yoongi then?”

He expects you to be flustered by this question but, the answer is simple.  

“This man?” You raise your brows as you point to Yoongi, “You’re asking me if I would marry this man right here? Hoseok- I would wife this man up so quickly, it would give you whiplash.”

Your comment causes the three of them to laugh and, to add to the shifting vibe of the room, you feel Yoongi wrap his arm around you in an effort to pull you into his side.

“You can’t say shit like that right in front of them, they don’t need to see me soft...” He mumbles shyly in your ear before kissing your cheek, his heart singing with validation.

“Hyung, you act like we don’t already know who whipped you are for this girl.” Hoseok laughs, eagerly accepting the pipe from a coughing Namjoon.

Yoongi ignores him with his arm still around you, checking his phone with the other hand, “The cab should be here soon, do you need anything before we go?”

“Hyung, you’re gonna leave your piece here right? Cause we kinda need it-”  

Namjoon eyes him suspiciously, “What happened to your bong?”

Hoseok cringes, “I may have accidentally dropped it off the rooftop...”

Namjoon’s eyes blow wide open, “What the fuck were you doing on the rooftop to begin with?”

“I wanted to vibe! The bud was good and, I wanted to listen to the J. Cole album and get in my feelings hyung, get off my dick-” He laughs, playfully defensive.

“Hey that’s J Cole song-” You point out giggling at the double meaning, the exhaustion from earlier finding you once again.

“Exactly, I’m glad you caught that-” Hoseok winks at you before Yoongi finally responds.

“I’m not going to take my pipe through international security. Pot isn’t legal in Korea so, I wouldn’t be smoking while we were there anyway.”  

“Oh shit that’s right-” Namjoon remembers, “I really need to keep up with what’s been going on back home, I heard they were opening the discussion about it recently but, I haven’t kept up with it.”

Hoseok interjects, “What about your brother? He probably has connections.”

Yoongi shrugs, “He might but, I'm not going to worry about it.” He glances at his phone again before turning it towards you, “Our car is here, you ready to go?”

You offer him a small smile as you nod, your cheek tingling still as he places another kiss to it.

He stands up first before holding his hand out to you. Eagerly, you lace your fingers with his and, hoist yourself off the couch.

“Alright you two-” Namjoon stands too, brushing his hands over the front of his hoodie, “Try and send us updates when you can yeah?” He shoots a look towards Yoongi that is filled with an emotion that breaches casual concern.  

Yoongi understands perfectly, offering Namjoon a solemn nod in return as he pats his shoulder, “Yeah I will. I’ll text you when we land...”

Moments later, the two of you are in the back of the cab. Yoongi takes the middle seat so he can be close to you, his fingers are interlaced tightly with your own despite the fact that his hand is already sweating.  

He’s anxious.  

You can feel it and, you’re faced with two options.

Address it

Distract him  

It’s not an easy choice but, you figure this weekend will already be filled with heightened emotions so, you’re not sure if you should breach this topic so early. At the same time though, you don’t want to act like nothing’s wrong and dismiss what he’s clearly feeling.  

So, you land somewhere in the middle.  

Yoongi’s jaw is loaded with tension as you reach over and turn his face towards yours. He doesn’t register what you’re doing at first but he is in tune with your touch as always so, he doesn’t question it.    

Leaning in, you tuck your lips between his own, whilst your free hand comes up to encase the side of his face. You feel him relax beneath your kiss, a sigh leaving his nose as he kisses you back slowly.  

You pull away, pecking at his lips a few times, your thumb rubbing over his cheek.

“It’s going to be ok.” You murmur softly for the sake of his privacy, “We’re going to get through this.”

Yoongi’s eyes open just enough to show you the sheer amount of trust present in them.  

He believes everything that comes out of your mouth and, despite the anxiety that’s raging inside of him, he knows you’re right.  

Pressing his cheek against your hand, a soft smirk graces his lips as he resists the urge to pour his heart out to you for the millionth time.

“I wish it was socially acceptable for you to kiss me like that every time I feel like this...”

You giggle, pecking his lips again for good measure, “It would make our psych presentation really interesting that’s for sure.”

He chuckles, his face adorably smushed against your hand, “I keep forgetting that we have to do that. I don’t even remember the last time we worked on it...”

“Me neither.” You say at first before your eyes light up with realization, “Oh my god wait- the last time was when we watched that horrible spider movie at my apartment! Ugh no wonder I couldn’t remember, I’m pretty sure I've blocked those images from my mind as a coping mechanism.”

Yoongi’s face lights up along with you, “Oh shit, that’s right-” He laughs, “Did we even finish our lists?”

The two of you share another round of laughter, caught up in the ridiculous realization that you had lowkey abandoned your final project.  

You lean over to pull your phone out of your purse, “Here let me check-” Scrolling through your notes app, you find the project tab before allowing your eyes to wander over it, “It looks like I still have deep water and you technically still have night clubs and horror movies. But I mean- you did perform in a night club recently so I feel like that should count.”  

He nods thoughtfully before his face lights up with realization once more, “Oh yeah, I already wrote about that in the research journal, I forget to tell you. That was definitely more of a direct confrontation than I was planning.” He chuckles, “We did sit on the beach and read terrifying facts about the depth of the ocean for mine, would that be enough for you to write about?”  

The two of you have maneuvered so that you’re tucked into Yoongi’s side again, his arm draping comfortably around your shoulders.

“You still have horror movies left though so, I feel like I should maybe confront one more directly too. Besides, I have a feeling that I’ll be able to distract myself in the water if you’re there-” You mumble suggestively, which causes him to smirk as he leans his head back against the seat.

“Oh yeah?” He jerks his head towards you “How so?”

Resting your face on his chest, you smile to yourself and think of a response that’s appropriate for a perfect stranger aka your cab driver, to hear.

“Cause if something touches my feet in the water, I could simply latch myself to your back for safety purposes.” You explain matter of factly.

“If something touched your foot while we were in the water, I’d swim away so fucking fast- I don’t think you’d have time to latch on.” He explains through his laughter

Scoffing, you smack your hand against his chest as you sit up fully, wiggling out of his grip, “So you’d just leave me to die???” You accuse, “Also, last time I checked- you weren’t an Olympic swimmer, what makes you think you’d just zoom out of there???”

Yoongi’s cackling at this point, his hand on his stomach, his previously tense features now smoothed out beneath his amusement, “I’m not saying I would leave you necessarily-”

“Necessarily!” You point out, laughter erupting from your lips as you pinch his side, “After everything we’ve been through, you’re really just gonna let a sea monster eat me!?”

His eyes widen, as his laughter increases, “A sea monster?! Who said anything about a sea monster? Where did they come in????”

“I said something touched my foot???? Obviously that means there is a sea monster, lurking in the depths, trying to eat me and you-” You poke his sternum, “You just said you would leave me to die!”

Yoongi’s face is reddened with the force of his own laughter, his hand subconsciously coming up to cover your own. With his eyes tearing up and his mouth parted to make way for his giggling, you can’t help but admire how beautiful he is.  

Especially when he’s laughing...

He wipes his eyes with his free hand, still chuckling lightly to himself even as he brings your hand to his mouth, “Alright, alright- let's be clear- I would never leave you to die.” He promises, still smirking as he kisses the back of your hand, “Realistically, I’d probably panic and jump on YOUR back.”

With narrowed eyes, you wiggle the fingers he has pressed to his lips, “Well I don’t know how that would work out because, I’d probably you know- swim away so fucking fast that I don’t know if you’d have time to latch on...”

Yoongi snickers as you imitate his voice but, rather than retaliate he simply tugs you by the hand his currently holding and, kisses you.  

It’s soft and sweet- lasting only for a few seconds until he’s pulling away.

“Thank you for coming with me.” He says suddenly, the volume of his voice decreasing significantly.

And as usual, you know that he wants to say way more than he does. But you’re perfectly fine with that.

Yoongi’s subtly is a specific brand and, you’ve grown to love how the little things he does allows him to pack so much emotion into a simple phrase.  

You feel lucky to love such a special person.  

“Of course.” You return his simplicity, pecking his lips once more before settling back in your original position.  

The airport was a blur.  

You’re thankful it passes quickly because, the process of getting through security makes you anxious.  

Yoongi ushers you into your seat before taking both of your bags and, storing them in the overhead compartment. You can’t help but smile as he turns to help an older woman with her luggage as well.

He smiles ( :] ) at her, bowing his head slightly as she thanks him. Yoongi offers her a tiny wave and takes his seat beside you, not noticing the way you smile fondly at him.  

When he takes his seat beside you, the two of you settle into a comfortable silence. Once the flight crew permits it, Yoongi takes his laptop out and begins toying around with one of his songs. You pull your headphones out as well and find one of your favorite playlists. Leaning back against the seat, your eyes eventually begin to droop until you can no longer keep them open.  

The next thing you know, you’re being woken up by someone gently patting your thigh.  

“Sleepy girl...” Yoongi croons in Korean, the sound of his voice alone making you smile, “We’re landing soon.”

Slightly disoriented, you blink your eyes a few times before you’re finally able to focus on your boyfriend’s face.  

You slump against him, rubbing your cheek against the material of his hoodie. He chuckles softly, his arm sliding out from underneath you in order to drape across your shoulders.  

“I’m sorry I fell asleep.” You mumble

He chuckles again, nodding with a false sense of consideration, “Ah yes, you missed so much. Two hours ago, the flight attendant came by and asked if we wanted anything to drink. It was a wild ride...”

Giggling sleepily, you shake your head at his sarcasm before pointing at his laptop.  

“Were you working on your composition project?”

He bites his bottom lip and shakes his head, a bashful expression on his face “No, it was just a song I’ve been working on for a while now.”  

He leaves it at that and, due to the signal from the flight crew, Yoongi begins putting his stuff away as the rest of the cabin prepares for landing.  

“Are we taking the train?” You mumble, still fighting off the remnants of your nap.

Yoongi purses his lips, his eyes narrowed in concentration whilst he scrolls through his phone.

“No, I have a cab waiting for us.” He responds, “It says it’s already here. So, when you get out of customs, just meet me right outside. It should just be a straight shot from immigration.”

You nod and rest your head back against his shoulder, “Okay.”

He puts his phone away, allowing his hand to find yours. Intertwining your fingers, he takes a deep breath- his mind clearly elsewhere. You squeeze his hand to acknowledge this but, the two of you don’t comment on it.  

There is no need.  

With the tightening of your grip, so much has already been said.  

Less than a half hour later, the two of you are once again seated in the back of the cab.  

“It’s probably going to rain a lot while we’re here.” Yoongi explains, his voice low and slow, “This is Daegu’s rainy season. I’ve been checking the weather periodically and it looks like there might be a storm coming but, it doesn’t look too severe.”

You look at the window after his comment, noticing that the sky is overflowing with heavy clouds, swollen and gray with the promise of rain.  

“We’re approaching monsoon season, we call it uh- jangma.” He tells you and his explanation makes you smile.  

Despite the circumstances, you’re very honored and excited to be in Yoongi’s hometown. You know the memories he associates with this place are complex but, there is a shift in his tone now and, he sounds eager to teach you about this place: the place he called home for so long.  

And you’d gladly listen for hours.

“Jangma-” You repeat, trying to get the pronunciation right, causing him to refocus his attention back on you. He smiles softly and nods,

“Good job.”  

Your heart skips a beat at his approval as you return his smile, “Is there gonna be thunder?”  

Yoongi chuckles, “Do you want there to be thunder?”

You nod eagerly, “I love storms. When I was little, I would just sit at the window and watch them go by. I’m pretty sure our neighbors thought I was crazy. But I don’t know- I've always had a thing for bad weather...”

He smirks, glancing out the window and then back at you, “That explains a lot.”

Giggling, you cock your head, “What do you mean?”

Yoongi gestures to himself, his now playful gaze looking at you expectantly. You laugh at his insinuation,

“I see the resemblance.” You concede, gently patting his cheek, “You’re not nearly as gloomy as you think you are though.”

“To you-” He retorts, “You always forget that...”

“Pleaaaase.” You disagree, “You’re soft for other people too, don’t lie. I’ve seen the way you deal with Namjoon and Hobi...”

He shakes his head, “Yeah but things are still different with you, I don’t think you realize that.”

You nudge yourself underneath his arm once more, cuddling up with him as best as you can in the back of a cab.

“I know you’re especially-” You emphasize the word, “soft for me. I’m just saying that you come across more approachable than you think you do.”

Yoongi smirks to himself, seemingly understanding something that you don’t.  

“Soft is an understatement.” He retorts, turning to kiss the top of your head.

“Whateverrrr.” You tease him, your eyes trailing down to focus on his hands, “I’m still right.”

He chuckles, his figure shaking lightly beneath you, “You usually are.”

The cab pulls off of the highway, and it’s then that you begin to notice the way the scenery around you shifts from a middle class/ metropolitan vibe to something much much...fancier.  

Through the winding streets, the cab begins taking the two of you up a pretty steep hill before turning onto a street full of ridiculously nice houses.  

White marble, giant glass windows, and driveways filled to the brim with luxury vehicles zip by as the car turns down another street. Similar in theme but greater in size, the new street had much larger houses on more sizeable plots of land- likely designed to give the owners privacy amongst their neighbors.  

You can feel Yoongi’s eyes on you then and, you know very well that he’s observing your reaction.

He knows that even though he told you his brother was wealthy that, that phrase alone wouldn’t be enough to properly convey what that entailed.  

“This neighborhood is really beautiful,” You observe softly, eyes still glued to the window, “The architecture is so different than anything I’ve ever seen.”

And of course, this makes Yoongi smile.  

Because of course, you aren’t making a fuss about the degree of luxury before you. You’re finding the beauty in what otherwise is a very stressful situation.  

Finally, the cab pulls into a driveway right behind a black Tesla before putting the car in park.  

He and Yoongi exchange a few words in Korean as Yoongi hands him a small wad of money.  

“Thank you.” You murmur to the cab driver with a slight bow of your head to which he responds with a tight smile and a similar bow.  

You and Yoongi unload your bags from the trunk and as he is reaching for your hand, the front door of the house swings open.  

A man a few inches taller than Yoongi steps out. His black hair is neatly arranged in a middle part and he’s dressed in a beige turtleneck and white slacks. As he comes closer, the resemblance between the two of them is staggering.  

“Hello!” He calls with a warm smile, his voice bright, “Welcome! Come on in, the rain is supposed to pick back up soon.”

His expression only glows as he spots his younger brother. He looks excited to see him but, his movements are apprehensive.  

The unspoken tension is already present and, you can feel Yoongi almost freeze up as he draws near. Subtly, you coax him along offering his brother a warm smile as the two of you approach the landing just in front of his door.  

Normally, you don’t get nervous when meeting new people but, this situation is laced with so much complexity- you aren’t sure how to act.

Thankfully Yoongi finally speaks, “Good to see you hyung. Thank you for having us on such short notice.” His tone is almost unrecognizable as he gestures to you, “This is my girlfriend Y/N. Y/N-” He gestures back to his brother, “This is my older brother Geum-jae hyung.”

Bowing your head slightly, you smile once more, “It’s very nice to meet you, thank you for having me.”

Geum-jae nods, eyeing you softly as his lips press into a tight line, “It’s so nice to meet you Y/N. I promise you, the pleasure is all mine.”

Yoongi motions for you to step in front of him so, you follow his lead and trail behind his brother through the doorway.  

Geum-jae's home resembles a marble statue. It’s clean, beautiful and, elegant- but lifeless. Geum-jae has artwork of various styles all over his walls, crisp white couches, sleek granite countertops and, stainless-steel appliances however, there is not one bit of evidence that anyone even lives here. The house feels empty despite the amount of effort put into its appearance.  

It makes you sad.  

“You have a beautiful home.”  

Your voice echoes off the dead weight of the walls, the paintings themselves seeming to arch a brow at your comment. Geum-jae however, smiles and nods graciously,

“Thank you. I just moved in not too long ago so, there is a lot I want to do. I definitely could have used this one’s expertise-” He nods to Yoongi, “He was always really good at that kind of stuff...”

Your boyfriend smirks, his eyes taking in his surroundings but failing to really focus on anything; he was too wound up, “You could have. I would have charged you though...”

Geum-jae chuckles and you see him glance at Yoongi fondly for a split second before he quickly reverts to his casual demeanor.  

“I put you guys on the second floor facing the skyline-” He gestures to the ivory staircase, “I’m sure you want some time to freshen up and relax so, please take all the time you need. I’m having BBQ brought over tonight but, if you’re hungry- feel free to help yourself to whatever is in the kitchen.”

Yoongi allows you to step in front of him whilst taking the suitcase from your hands. The two men follow behind you as Geum-jae continues laying out the plans for the evening,  

“I have a few virtual meetings to attend that I wasn’t able to move around but, I will be free as of 7 this evening. Until then, please make yourselves at home. I am really-” He seems to take a deep breath for emphasis, “really happy to have you here.”

“Thank you hyung.” Yoongi smiles slightly once the three of you reach the outside of the guest room, “Good luck with your meetings. Let me know if you need help with dinner.”

Geum-jae responds with a tight nod, “Will do. I’ll be in my office so, feel free to explore.” As he pushes open the door for you, he allows his own pained expression to meet yours, “I’m honored to meet you Y/N. Thank you for coming all this way with my brother.”

“Well-” You squeeze Yoongi’s hand gently, “He’s lucky I like him so much...”

Cheeks flushed, Yoongi rolls his eyes and shakes his head, but his lips are practically puckered against the smile he’s trying to stifle.  

“That’s fair.” Geum-jae chuckles, “Let me know if you two need anything. I’ll just be downstairs...”

With that, Yoongi pushes open the door and allows you to step inside before following behind you.

“Wow.” You whisper to yourself as you take in the scene before you.

The walls are painted a soft gray and surrounding only three sides of the bedroom. The fourth wall is made entirely of glass and given that the house rests upon a hill, you’re able to make out the skyline of the inner city. A giant four poster bed sits in the middle of the room, covered completely in a white duvet and three rows of pillows. Dark gray curtains sit on either side of the massive window as various muted colors accent the room in the form of a dresser, two nightstands and, a set of couches at the end of the bed.  

Yoongi is silent behind you as he sets the bags down at the entrance of the room. He pushes the door shut and allows his eyes to move over the space for a moment.  

It's nice, he thinks, but he can’t find himself to be very impressed.  

He knows where this money comes from and, even though his brother is out of the crime sector now, it still feels strange to acknowledge his wealth.  

Noticing his silence, you turn towards him, eyes tracing over the features of his face to assess his mood.

With a slight and subconscious pout, he looks at you, his body seemingly full of a breath he wants to take.  

“Do you want to lay down for a bit? I know you didn’t sleep on the plane.”  

At your offer, he seems to deflate slightly, lips turning up at the corners, “I think I want to shower first...”

Immediately, you nod with an encouraging smile, “Yeah go shower babe, I’ll just-”

He interrupts you, sticking his hand out and flexing his fingers in a grabbing motion, “Come with me.”

His offer makes you giggle, “You want me to shower with you?”

Yoongi closes the distance between you, using his grabby hands to lock onto your hips, “No, I meant like come with me as in come watch me...yes I want you to shower with me.”

Your laughter heightens as you pinch his side, causing him to recoil before chuckling.

“You’re such a punk today...” You scold.

Yoongi simply chuckles warmly as he kisses the side of your head, the tone of his voice lowering significantly, “That usually means something to you doesn’t it?”

It does.  

It usually means he’s having trouble vocalizing his needs and, he’s in need of attention. And the type of attention is usually a specific brand.  

And it usually comes with a little bit of pain.  

However, you don’t think it’s a good idea to indulge that side of Yoongi’s desires at the moment because, his emotions aren’t fully organized. You know the talk with his brother is causing him a lot of stress and, as much as you liked to wreck his body right now- you know it’s best to wait until later.  

That doesn’t mean you can’t take care of him though...

“Come on-” You urge him, grabbing his hand and practically running towards the bathroom, “Let's get you clean, king.”

He laughs, stumbling into the bathroom which is just as nice and similarly colored as the room.

“I’m a king now?”

His question goes over your head as you notice the ridiculously oversized bathtub in the center of the room. Biting your lip, you turn towards him and point at it.

“Do you want to take a bath instead? The shower looks amazing and all but- this thing literally looks like a jacuzzi.”

Yoongi eyes it curiously, his teeth finding his bottom lip, looking a little apprehensive, “How would you want to sit in it though? I kinda uh- I kinda thought maybe we could stand under the water for a bit together, like last time...”

He wants you to hold him.

He’s not going to say it but, he needs it.  

Like really bad.

You can see his nerves creeping into his posture so, you decide to act quickly before he somehow convinces himself that he’s being too needy.  

Looking around the room, you spot a few things that could aid in his relaxation: candles, bubble bath, a neatly folded pile of fluffy gray towels...

“I’ll show you.” You assure him, “Close your eyes really quick- no peeking. I have a plan...”

Yoongi looks at you, suspicious all over his face, “I’m scared.”

Giggling, you raise your brows for emphasize, “Oh you should be-”

He can’t help but smirk at your tone despite the anticipation swimming in his gut. He trusts you though so, instead of arguing- he shuts his eyes.  

Shuffling around the bathroom, you set things up in record time, turning the water on, pouring the rose scented bubble bath beneath the stream, and lighting a few candles along the ivory counter. Yoongi maintains his smirk the entire time, folding his arms across his chest, stifling his desire to make a snarky comment.  

“Alright,” You sigh, dusting your hands off, “Ta daaaaa.”

Yoongi opens his eyes, blinking a few times before taking in the scene in front of him. It changes his smirk into a grin really quickly as his cat-like eyes flit over to you.

“Are you planning on sacrificing me?” He quips, nodding to the candles.

Snorting, you roll your eyes, “If you keep talking shit, I just might-” You threaten, laughter forming on the tail end of your sentence, “Get naked...”

Yoongi snickers, his face full of satisfaction as his finger tuck beneath his hoodie to tug it over his head. The two of you undress in a small bout of silence and attempt to sneak glances at one another’s naked form.  

“I’m going to get in first and then you’re going to sit in front of me, between my legs...” You explain, trying not to shiver as the cool air of the bathroom begins to grow uncomfortable.

His brows raise, “Between your legs?” He confirms, “Say no more...”

Once again, your eyes are rolling but this time, there is a smile on your lips as you move to take your spot beneath the warmth of the water. Yoongi has to take a deep breath as he watches you, his emotions brewing dangerously beneath the surface at the sight of the woman he loves.  

He still doesn’t fully understand it.  

He is still meet with endless confusion when he starts to think about why you’ve chosen to be with him but, he knows better now than to question it.  

You have your reasons, he thinks, and he has a million of his own.  

Looking up from beneath the mountain of bubbles, you pat the top of them, looking at him expectantly, “Come here.”

He grabs the hand that you extend towards him, balancing himself on it whilst he steps into the tub. Modestly, he turns his body away from you for a second so he’s able to bend down before pivoting beneath the water and settling against your chest. The bathtub is big enough for the water to go past his shoulders and, he feels his entire body relax once he feels your body against his.  

“Comfy?” You check, draping your arms across his chest.  

Yoongi nods, his head leaning back and resting against your left shoulder. Once it lands there, you turn and kiss his temple which then prompts one of his hands to reach up rest on yours. Silently, you place a few more kisses against his hairline, allowing him to decompress however he wants to, not wanting to pressure him into talking about anything.  

And he doesn’t, at least not for a while.  

The only sounds between the two of you are the dribbling of water from the faucet and the low whisper of breathing. Every so often, you kiss his temple, just so he knows that he isn’t alone.

“Seeing my brother is really difficult.” He mumbles, eyes still closed, hand still on top of yours, “Even just seeing his face- it brings back a lot of memories.”

You nod, “I can imagine- especially since it’s been so long.”

Yoongi sighs, his eyes fluttering open and honing in on the ceiling, “I haven’t seen him since I was 18. He came to Sejin’s place just before I moved in with Namjoon. He tried to talk to me to let me know that he was leaving the business but, I barely said anything. I was too angry at him.”

Using your free hand, you rub softly at his chest under the water, silently encouraging him to continue.  

“He never helped me when my father would-” He takes a deep breath through his nose, his throat bobbing as he swallows on the exhale, “the time I told you about, when my father hit me...that wasn’t the only time. It happened often towards the end.”

Your eyes shut momentarily, the pain of Yoongi being harmed stinging your heart like a shot.  

“I’m so sorry.” You whisper, kissing his temple again.

Yoongi’s face turns slightly into your lips, his hand squeezing over yours, “Don’t be. It was a long time ago. I held onto my disappointment in him for a while until I realized something: the only reason my father every laid his hands on me and not Geum-jae hyung was because, I stood up to him.”

“Geum-jae hyung never did and, I think he still carries that regret to this day. I can see it all over his face...” His voice is so low now that it barely makes it above a whisper, his eyes seemingly elsewhere. “Is it wrong that I feel like- like I didn’t just come here to save Sejin’s studio?”

You shake your head, “Not at all...”

He swallows again and takes another deep breath through his nose, “It’s hard you know- during winter break especially; everyone would leave campus and go home for the holidays...and I never knew where to go. For the first two years at school, I spent Christmas alone until Namjoon’s mom finally called me and told me that if I didn’t come back with him, that she was going to make him sleep outside.” He chuckles, smirking slightly at the memory.

Your heart fills with despair then. You didn’t piece it together that Yoongi would have stayed behind during the holiday season. There was so much to unpack from the tragedy that he’s endured; it didn’t even cross your mind.  

“Namjoon’s mom was right to threaten you-” You affirm but then you shake your head, “I don’t think there could be a wrong reason to come here. You deserve to have whatever kind of closure or healing that you need.”  

“I wish I knew what I needed...” He admits, licking his lips before turning towards you, his brown eyes holding all the emotions he can’t vocalize, “I wish everything was as easy as this.”

Following suit, you turn your head so that you’re facing him, “So do I. But I’ll always be here through all the not-so-easy stuff.”

Yoongi smiles then, soft and sweet, delivering a kiss to match. He relaxes into you, brushing his tongue along the inside of your lip just for a moment before pulling away.

“I love you Y/N.”  

“I love you too Yoongi.”  

Eventually, you both got out of the bathtub and into the shower so, that you were able to get clean properly. After a few hours of catching up on missed calls/texts and relaxing, Yoongi gets a text from his brother saying that dinner would be ready in 15 minutes.  

Geum-jae had the finest BBQ in the city delivered and prepared right in his dining room. Banchan lined the center of the table, slabs of meat were grilled one right after the other until the three of you tapped out.  

It passed easier than you thought it would. Yoongi and Geum-jae relaxed in the face of a meal, the conversation flowing effortlessly between them as if no time had passed. It was a touching sight to see and, you hoped that it meant their discussion would come out easier.  

You take your leave after you help clean up, thanking Geum-jae for the incredible food and, letting Yoongi know that you’d be up in the room checking on something for school if he needed anything.  

Which was a total lie but, you needed an excuse to leave them alone for a bit.  

Yoongi feels his heartbeat pick up a bit as he watches you leave the room, the realization of what was coming finally hitting him.  

“Hyung-” He wants to rip the band aid off. “Is it alright if we talk for a moment?”

Geum-jae raises his brows at the switch in languages and nods immediately, gesturing to the table, “Of course. Can we sit here? Or would you rather talk in the living room?”

Yoongi shakes his head, “Here is fine.” He sits back down in his original seat and, rubs his palms against his jeans.

Geum-jae takes a seat across from him, gazing expectantly at his younger brother, “What did you want to talk about?”

Despite Yoongi’s anxiety, he understands that being to the point would be the most effective way to communicate. He wasn’t sure if any past issues would come up but, right now his concern was on Sejin.  

“I know that I told you I needed your help with something but-” Yoongi begins, “It isn’t me who needs your help exactly...it’s Sejin.”

Geum-jae purses his lips, his hands coming out to clasp rest on the table, “Is he alright?”

“The landlord for the studio he runs is increasing his rent again and, he doesn’t have the money to keep it open...” Yoongi’s explanation gets a little rushed as he gets more and more nervous, “I have some money in savings to help out with rent for the next few months but, it’s not enough to keep it open long term and-”

Geum-jae cuts him off, “Tell Sejin to call me. I will send a team to his location to sort everything out. It wouldn’t be a bad building to purchase but if Sejin is willing- then maybe he can look at other properties and I’ll have the money wired over to him.”

Yoongi can’t hide the shock on his face, “Wait- are you serious?”

“Of course. Sejin is one of my dearest friends. I owe him a lot for what he’s done over the years.”

In this moment, regret washes over Geum-jae's face, his eyes reaching out to Yoongi’s in hopes that he understands what he’s alluding to.  

And obviously, he does.  

“Why didn’t you just call me?” Geum-jae continues, tilting his head to get a better look at Yoongi’s expression, trying to read him, “I’ve always told you that if you ever needed anything-”

“I haven’t talked to you in 8 years hyung, I wasn’t just going to call and ask you for a favor.”  

Geum-jae nods, his face tightening with solemnity, “I understand.” A brief moment of silence passes between the two of them before a sigh comes from Geum-jae, “There is so much I want to say to you Yoongi, I don’t even know where to begin...”

Yoongi stays quiet.  

He doesn’t know either.  

He just knows that the only way to get rid of the heaviness in his chest is to talk about it.  

“I suppose I could start with an apology.” Geum-jae concludes, shaking his head as a light scoff leaves his lips, “I could never find the words to express how much regret and shame I feel inside. I could never explain how sorry I am for not protecting you, for not being a better example, for not having a backbone, for being selfish...I was blinded by greed. I couldn’t see what was in front of me.”

Yoongi swallows back his emotion, dreading the way his eyes begin to sting.  

Geum-jae continues, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, “I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness. I just want to apologize and tell you that, even though I played no part in the man you’ve become, I am incredibly honored to call you my brother.”

It isn’t easy but, Yoongi manages to contain the tears that desperately want to fall from his eyes. His chest tightens as he hears his brother’s words. He wades through all the bitterness he feels towards him, allowing himself to feel the full force of his approval.  

“I forgave you a long time ago.” Yoongi swallows, avoiding direct eye contact with him, “I just wish I understood your actions. You were my hyung, I thought you would have protected me and-” Yoongi blinks away the tears as quickly as he can, “and I still haven’t been able to accept the fact that you didn’t...”

Geum-jae shakes his head, “I wanted to protect you. I just didn’t know how- I was scared of him too. You had more courage than I did. It doesn’t excuse my actions but, it’s the truth.”

Suddenly, he reaches out and places his hand overtop of Yoongi’s, a pleading expression on his face, “That’s why you got out. That’s why you have a life. You have friends, you’re about to graduate university and, you have Y/N...” Geum-jae's voice breaks at the end, “Because of your strength, you finally found happiness.”

Yoongi looks at his hand, observing the evidence of his life present on his skin. Scars, burns, callouses, needle marks...

“Are you saying that you haven’t?” He asks, still not meeting his brother’s eyes.

“I’m not even close.”

Finally, the two meet each other's gaze. For a moment, they just stare, glistening eyes to glistening eyes. Overcome with years of repressed emotions, fueled by the desperate need to try and break the cycle, they wordlessly convey an unspoken emptiness.  

They have missed each other so much.  

“I am here now.” Geum-jae promises, the first tear dangerously close to falling, “Hyung is here if you’ll have him. I want to be in your life but, I understand if you want nothing to do with me.”

Yoongi blinks now, and the tears land upon his cheeks, “You’re my hyung...” And it really is a desperate proclamation, “...you’ll always be my hyung...”

The chair screeches against the tile, causing Yoongi to jump in his seat until he realizes what his brother is doing. Rounding the table, stands to the side of Yoongi with open arms and his own tears atop his cheeks.

He eyes him for only a few seconds before standing up suddenly and accepting Geum-jae into his arms. The two of them seem to collapse against one another. Yoongi breaks down and sobs in the arms of his older brother.  

Just as he would have when they were young.

When times were hard and he could take shelter behind the one person who made him feel safe, the first person who ever showed him love.  

“I’m so sorry Yoongi-ah.”  

His words cause Yoongi to squeeze his eyes shut as he nods against the expensive fabric of his brother’s dress shirt, “I know.” He sniffles and pats his back, “I know you are.”

Meanwhile...

You’ve been upstairs, straightening up the bedroom and trying to pass the time without worrying excessively about your boyfriend’s well-being.  

Which turns out to be impossible...

Cleaning around the room/bathroom only takes you about 20 minutes before your flopping onto the massive bed and, pulling out your phone. Scrolling through Tik Tok, you hope for a substantial distraction and, lucky for you- one arrives.  

But, it isn’t on Tik Tok...

Jungkook: So you know Jimin right...  

The text from Jungkook confuses you as you’re pretty sure it's like the middle of the night back home and, it’s not like him to text you outside of the group chat.

You: I have heard of him yes

You: Isn’t he like your boyfriend or something?

Jungkook: ha ha

Jungkook: about that

Jungkook: what if he wasn’t my boyfriend anymore?

Your eyes widen and, you immediately sit up in bed and hover anxiously over your phone.

You: !!! WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Jungkook: shhhhhh don’t yell

Jungkook: my future fiance is sleeping...

You’re about ready to get on a flight back home to kick his ass before your vision focuses on the word he’s just sent.

You: excuse me  

You: YOU’RE WHAT ???????????

Jungkook: …

Jungkook: What did I just tell you smh

You: *whispers* WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT JUNGKOOK

Jungkook: -____-

Jungkook: can I call  

You: ?????? Obviously!!!!

Seconds later, Jungkook’s name illuminates your screen.

“Good evening,” He begins calmly, “I’m having a panic attack...”

You giggle, “What’s going on????”

“Well you see- I am in love with Park Jimin and I fear it may be terminal.”

“Terminal huh? Is that how you describe a lifelong partnership with your one true love?”

“...yes.”

“Jungkook,” You urge him through your laughter, “What is going on?”

You hear him sigh, “I think I’m going to ask Jimin to marry me.”

Squealing, you jump up on your knees, “Wait seriously?! Jungkook!”

“Yah! Don’t yell at me! This is all your fault!”  

“My fault??? How is this my fault?”

“Well technically I guess- it's Yoongi’s fault because, he’s the one that convinced me to get in touch with my feelings or whatever- either way, I am STILL the victim. And now I want to be with him forever and it’s disgusting...”

You flop back against the pillows and laugh again, “If Jimin knew this was how you were telling people you were proposing, he would kill you.”

He doesn’t hesitate, “He’s going to kill me either way Y/N...it’s bad- the other day, he sent me a selfie and, I had heart palpitations for like 15 minutes.”

“If your man doesn’t give you heart palpitations then, that isn’t your man.” You conclude.

“Y/N...” Jungkook whines now, sounding very much like the boy you met back in middle school.

“Jungkook...” You whine back causing him to finally chuckle on the other end of the line.

“I’m scared...”

“I know but, you and Jimin are so perfect for each other, there is no way that this wouldn’t work out.”

“More perfect than you and Yoongi?” He teases, reverting back to being a little shit.

And his question makes you scoff, “Oh sweetheart- obviously not. But second place isn’t bad!”

He laughs now and it’s the full bellied sound that you love hearing.  

“You really think we’re perfect together?”

Despite his inability to see you, you smile at his need for validation,

“Duh. You two are literally soulmates.”

Jungkook is quiet on the other line but when he speaks again, you can hear the giddiness in his voice, “Ok so...will you help me then???”

Back downstairs, Yoongi and Geum-jae are sat at the bar in front of the window that faces his backyard. As he predicted, the rain came back in full force and is now propelling itself against the clean glass. After their emotional encounter in the dining room, Geum-jae suggested that they have a drink together and relax for a moment.  

He had poured each of them a glass of wine, ensuring not to fill his glass up too much.  

“Your girlfriend is a wonderful woman; you made a good choice.”

At the mention of you, Yoongi’s lips twitch, his eyes watching the droplets of water chaotically race down the window, “Thank you. But, it was her who chose me, I’m still working out exactly why.”  

Geum-jae chuckles, “I see you’re still selling yourself short ah? Did you two meet at school?”

Yoongi smirks, “Yeah, we met 6 months ago in my psychology class. She was my partner on our final project.”

“Ah.” He nods, “Things blossomed that way then?”

Yoongi’s heart throbs a bit as his brain begins its recollection of his time with you.  

So much has happened during your relationship, he forgets that he hasn’t known you all his life.

It certainly feels like he has.  

“Yeah.”

Geum-jae chuckles, “You’re so reserved about her.”

Yoongi knows what he means. In the Min family, you always say things as they are. You don’t sugarcoat your sentiments and you definitely don’t play coy.  

“I can’t help it-” He admits, and he can feel the heat on his cheeks now, “I find it difficult to talk about her...”

His brother bites his bottom lip, unable to help how endeared he is, “Can I ask why?”

Yoongi leans his cheek against the palm of his hand, still focusing on the rain, “It’s overwhelming.”

Geum-jae seems to understand but he chuckles anyway, “Do you plan on marrying her?”

His question hangs in the air for a moment. Yoongi’s brain once again travels elsewhere, and he is bombarded with images of you walking down the aisle. He has to take a deep breath as he forces the thoughts out of his head; he’s cried enough this evening.

“I would marry her tomorrow.”  

Geum-jae's laughter increases now but now it bubbles over his lips in an excited fashion.

“Yahhhh! Look at that eh?” He congratulates him, “It’s safe to say you’re off the market for good then? Because I have a few of my friends who have been asking about you.”

This finally makes Yoongi laugh as he turns towards him, “That’s flattering.” He means it too but, he speaks the next set of words with all of the conviction he can muster, “There is no one else for me though.”  

Geum-jae grins proudly and with a raise to his brows, he lifts his glass, “Well, let’s drink to that then.”

The clinking of crystal signifies so much. For now though, Yoongi allows it to represent the future and, all of the possibilities it may bring.  

[holykillercake]

Sweet Doctor

TRAFALGAR LAW  X  f. READER

word count: 1.4k

highlight:  ¨Law doesn't think it's fair that he does all the hard work and people thank God.¨

notes: Very first one shot! Gimme your thoughts and requests, folks!

¨Thank God my shift is over! That was insane!¨ the blonde man threw himself on the couch of the break room covering his eyes with his arm.

¨You don't get me started with this too, Marco-ya.¨ the grumpy doctor sitting close to you mumbled, sipping his ¨please I need help with my addiction¨ sized coffee.

¨Y/N, do you mind explaining? I'm too tired to think.¨ you laughed at Marco's request.

¨Law doesn't think it's fair that he does all the hard work and people thank God.¨ you explained. Even after all those years you still couldn't believe he was for real when he said this.

¨Uhm, whatever, yoi. I blame you, Y/N.¨

¨Wha- wait! How come you blame me?¨ you asked confused and outraged.

¨One of your residents said the Q word while I was on call! I did so many chest compressions I'm skipping gym tomorrow!¨

You couldn't help but laugh at his drama and even Law seemed slightly amused.

¨Maybe you're just getting weak, Marco-ya.¨ he said and dodged a pillow thrown by his friend, you let out an 'ouch' and laughed more. ¨But he's right, Y/N-ya. This is a basic concept, how disappointing.¨ he clicked his tongue and shook his head, those tired grey eyes fixed on yours.

You and Law have known each other for a really long time now. First, you entered the same college and during those years you fought each other for the best grades. It became a little difficult since you always scored the perfect A+. You couldn't convince the professors to give extra pluses for the better answers, though.

After college you both were accepted in the best hospital of the country, you went through residency together, and your rivalry turned into a strong bond.

¨Maybe you should apologize to God, Law,  cause you're meeting him soon.¨ you kept staring at each other with narrowed eyes.

¨Let me know if you're gonna start making out so I can kill myself, yoi.¨ Marco said half-asleep.

¨We'll make it on your dead body.¨ you almost choked on your coffee when Law said it so casually.

He held a smirk while you coughed and slapped him gently on the arm. Your cheeks were so hot you could fry eggs on them.

¨You're so disgusting, yoi.¨ he stood up lazily and dragged himself around the room, gathering his stuff ¨I'm going home. No, better, I'm asking for my resignation!¨ he came closer and placed a kiss on the top of your head, a habit that you grew fond of. You'd always muffle his fluffy blonde hair.

¨Keys.¨ you opened your hand waiting for him to give you his car keys. You never let him drive whenever he was tired like this, last time ended up in a mess. ¨We'll miss you when you're gone.¨

¨I won't.¨ Law kept giving him a hard time.

¨Yeah, keep lying to yourself, punk.¨ Marco patted him on the shoulder on his way out ¨And quit drinking that shit, yoi!¨

The room got quiet after the blond left leaving you and Law in a comfortable silence. That was what you loved the most about him, he always made you comfortable.

After a few minutes of you peacefully rolling through your phone and Law deeply entertained with a medical book, the two of you heard a shy knock on the door.

You shared a look, knowing that it was one of your residents. After all, attendings didn't knock before coming in and the other staff would just beep you.

¨I bet one of yours killed someone.¨ he smiled and raised an eyebrow.

Those moments were precious to you, the way he let himself be relaxed in your presence to do stuff like smiling or even telling some stupid joke. Although you could count in three fingers how many times he had done it.

¨I hope it was Shachi.¨ you teased him and went to get the door.

When you open you saw a girl, you didn't know her name but you knew that she was one of Law's residents. She had her hands behind her back and she seemed jittery.

¨What did Shachi do?¨ you ask her, trying to break the ice.

¨Uh? Uhm, no! No, he didn't... Uhm-¨ she stumbled on her words and you felt a little sorry for her. You tried to be friendly and nice but it didn't work really well.

¨Do you need something, Ikkaku-ya?¨ Law appeared behind you, stepping in since it was one of his. You made your way back to the table, giving them some privacy.

¨Uhm, Dr. Trafalgar, I'm sorry to bother you, but.. uhm...¨ she sounded so nervous and you knew exactly why.

You were pretty aware that Doctor Trafalgar D. Water Law did more than just fix hearts, he stole them. Numerous times you've had old ladies insisting that they were having heart attacks so they could see him. The younger ones were more discreet, though. Not that it'd bother you if they weren't.

¨Dr. Trafalgar I wanted to give you this!¨ she yelled, but maybe not aware of it, you saw how much she struggled to say that.

The girl had a little paper bag in her hands, you saw by the logo printed on the front that it was from a bakery near the hospital, they were famous for the croissants.

¨Oh, poor thing.¨ you thought.

Law seemed pretty confused now. Why was she giving him that? And why that?

You decided to step in and help before you cringed to death. Was that how Marco felt? Poor Pinneaple.

¨I love that place. Which one did you choose?¨ you spoke from the table, trying not to laugh at their helpless expressions.

¨T-The traditional one, with a sugar glaze.¨ she was so red, but at least she could say words now.

¨That's the best one, good choice!¨ she smiled at you ¨I wish my residents bought me stuff too, you got the good ones, Law. ¨

You called him, fishing him out of the ¨need to find a scientific answer for this strange human behavior¨ void in his head. His gaze met yours and you had a telepathic conversation.

< The fuck you're doing? The ¨ignore until she flounders and dies¨ technique?>

<Why is she giving me bread?>

<It doesn't matter! Just accept it and thank her!>

¨Ah, Ikkaku-ya, you didn't have to. But I really appreciate it.¨ You wanted to give yourself a face slap.

¨When you say things like ¨really appreciate it¨, you have to sound like you appreciate it, Law.¨ you thought again.

¨They are fresh from the oven!¨ the girl said cheerful ¨I hope you like it! See you later Dr. Trafalgar! Bye, Dr. L/N!¨ she waved at you before leaving, skipping down the hallway.

You let the laugh you were holding out while the raven-haired man made his way back to the table. He sighed and placed the bag on the corner.

¨She's going to ask later, you know?¨ you pointed at the pastry.

¨You know I don't like it, Y/N-ya.¨ he mumbled like a man-child ¨You can eat it and tell me if it's good.¨

¨I already had and I will, thanks.¨ you grabbed the croissant and began to eat it, internally blessing the baker's soul.

Suddenly, Law found really difficult to focus on his book while you were eating. Maybe he never noticed before or maybe you never ate something so good but the suggestive sounds that came out of you made him get tighter in his pants.

¨Actually, Y/N-ya... I want to taste it.¨ you couldn't believe this guy.

¨Now that I ate half of it?¨ you asked after swallowing your huge bite.

¨It doesn't matter, I'm pretty sure they taste better on your lips.¨

Before you could process his words, he leaned closer and found his way to your mouth, kissing you in a way he never did inside of the hospital.

His hands traveled on your body with an urge, stopping on your waist and bringing you closer to him. Your hands ran through his dark hair as he explored the sweet taste of your mouth.

You had to break the kiss to breathe, your chest was going up and down heavily and your mind was still resetting from his sudden action.

¨Sweet.¨ he licked his lower lip, his eyes exalting lust and passion.

¨I thought you said PDA inside the hospital was unethical?¨ you asked panting.

¨It's just that... you made it look so good I needed to try.¨ he said before kissing you again.

[fweasleyswhore]

Who We Are - F.W.

Chapter Four: Nothing More

Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three

a/n: the world may fall apart idk but rn i kinda have hope and that was enough to get me goin and fucking finish this chapter omg, im sorry i hope im providing a small amount of solace i know its hard rn

summary: Executing the prank leads to a moment alone with Fred that leaves you with butterflies and more questions than you can keep count of. 

word count: 3.1k

warnings: fluff, just fluff and some shet writing baybeeee

tags: @you-make-children-cry @bohemianspacebabe @levylovegood @louist-pics @rochellestark @hufflepuffzutara @weasleybeb @whoreforfredweasley

The end of term quickly approached. I stood in my green dorm throwing things messily into my trunk. Today was the big day and my nerves were showing it. I had to help the twins prank Snape, that I was ok with, then I was spending the break with the twins and their family, that was scaring me. I was aware that all of the Weasleys were in Gryffindor, even Bill, and Charlie who had since graduated. I knew that my friendship with the twins, as well as Ron would give me cushioning but people, especially Gryffindors were never too inviting to Slytherins. I understand why Slytherins are seen as mean and cold, and I won’t lie I have been cold before. I turned people down often to focus on my studies and I don’t realize how I come off doing so. That was a bit of a curve in my relationship with the twins. They were apprehensive in continuing our friendship after my sorting and when they did I was thrilled, but we had a lot of issues none the less. 

“Cmon, transfiguration can wait.” A second-year George pushed. I rolled my eyes, unable to study or keep focus as they continued to pester me. 

“No, it can’t.” I snapped. “I need to do this, so please just let me finish it.” They glanced at me, obviously on edge due to my outburst before walking away. I sighed in relief and continued to scribble down notes. I had to get perfect marks to become a Healer, that was my dream and that was why I was sorted in Slytherin, my ambition and goals were at the top of my mind at all times. I was going to be a Healer. I knew since I was a child I wanted to help people. 

I cringed closing my trunk as the memory resurfaced. I remembered the fight that followed that, I never meant to upset them or hurt them but I would put my studies first. I have loosened up since but I have shared my goals with them and they have been extremely understanding and stopped pushing me as much, giving me time to study. They understood my curtness and I promised to be kinder even when I was stressed. My temper caused some tension between us especially at the beginning of our friendship, but now they don’t see my house or the color on my robes but the girl they met on the train four years ago. My favorite days were the days where I would sit with Fred and George by the lake, they would work on a prank invention and I would work on my homework. It was comfortable and homey, they always made me feel at ease. 

I picked up my trunk, pulling it out of the dorms and common room. There was eagerness in my steps as I made my way to the Gryffindor common room,  levitating my trunk up the stairs I felt my heart rate pick up. I had never spent the holidays with friends, much less with the family of the boy who I had a crush on. I tried to regain my breathing walking into the common room. It always felt warm and comforting, a stark contrast to the Slytherin common room. Dropping my trunk by the portrait hole I scanned the room for my redheads. Spotting them, their backs to me as they talked feverishly to Lee Jordan who sat in front of them. 

Jumping over the back of the couch I plopped in between them. Lee erupted into a fit of giggles as both boys jumped away from me. George glared, shoving me with his shoulder. This didn’t discourage my grin, looking over to Fred I saw him pouting. I bit my lip, reaching up I ruffled his overgrown locks. His pout transformed into a small smile. Seeing his features transform caused my smile to grow. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me into him. His scent engulfed me much like he was, cinnamon and fireworks overpowering the rest of my senses. I smiled as my hand traveled up to his chest, resting on it to steady myself as I crashed into his chest. I didn’t notice George and Lee staring with amused looks adorning their faces, all I was focussed on was Fred. His fingers traced small patterns on my arm. 

Instead of address his affections he steered the conversation back on track. “So Lee, any thoughts.” I turned to see Lee, he looked as though he was going to burst into laughter, swallowing his amusement he shook his head no. I looked over to George who had a very similar look on his face. I realized their amusement was directed at Fred and I and I felt my cheeks heat up as I looked at the floor, slightly embarrassed. 

“Are you ready?” I pulled my gaze up to Fred. He was looking at me concerned, the weight of his arm was lessened and I felt him pulling back, seemingly aware of my embarrassment. I quickly forgot about it as I nodded up to him smiling. I squeezed his jumper slightly with my hand. 

“More ready than I’ve ever been.” I gushed. His arm relaxed and he pulled me closer laughing lightly. I tried to focus on him as the butterflies erupted inside of me. 

“More ready than the last test you took? I swear you studied for two days straight.” I glared at him as he laughed more at my expression. It was true, I did study a lot, I was worried about my marks, but that was justified with the perfect score I received. 

“It was worth it, besides I forced you to study and you did well, don’t make fun of me you benefited from it.” He sighed defeated. 

“Let’s go lovebirds! I do believe you need to talk to your professor.” George threw a pillow at us and got up. His long legs pulled him up and in a few strides, he stood waiting for us at the portrait hole.  I blushed and pulled myself off of Fred, putting my hand out to help him up which he gladly took and we ran off to the potions classroom. 

I peaked my head inside, seeing Snape. From behind my back, I waved the twins off, signaling for them the hide as I walked inside the classroom clearing my throat. 

“Mr. Snape?” He aggressively shut the book in his hands and turned to see me, his black hair swaying slightly. He raised an eyebrow, nonverbally telling me to continue. “Could you help me pick out a potions book to study over break? I haven’t been very happy with my marks and I wanted to improve, I just wasn’t sure which one to pick and Pince isn’t here.” He let out a short groan, placed his book down, and strode out of the door. 

“Follow me.” His monotone voice rang through the hall. I skipped slightly trying to keep up with him. I glanced behind me and I watched the twins slink into his room, Fred sent me a wink before going into the room. I blushed and turned back towards Snape as he led me through the hall towards the library. The library visit was long and aggravating, Snape made a lot of remarks about my grades, calling them less than, but I pushed my anger aside and tried to focus on the task at hand which was to distract him for as long as possible. Eventually, once I had checked out three potions books, filled with information I already knew he was back on his way to his classroom and I ran up to the common room to find the twins. Walking through the portrait hole I was met with roaring laughter, the common room was packed with people all adorning red. Finding the source of their laughter wasn’t hard. As my eyes looked through the crowd I saw Fred and George, covered head to toe in a pink paint like substance, both of them looked extremely happy despite the color of their robes.

“I did not just spend half an hour with Snape for this to backfire.” I said walking up to them, I tried to sound serious but it was hard to contain my laughter as I got a better look at them. 

“You didn’t! Let’s just say the cauldrons weren’t the only thing that turned pink.” George said sheepishly. 

“Yeah let’s just say it was the desks as well…” Fred added. 

“And the chairs…” George continued. 

“And the walls…” Fred cringed. 

“Don’t forget the ceiling.” George laughed out.  

I shook my head at the two boys. Fred smiled at me and it made my heart race. “You two should clean up, before Snape sees you looking like his classroom.” They nodded and we all walked up the dormitory stairs toward the bathrooms. 

I watched amused as George walked through the doorway, he was pulling clumps of pink paint out of his hair. Fred turned to me. 

“Do you want to wait out here?” He asked. 

“Well I didn’t think you wanted me in there while you showered.” I laughed out. “Give me your robes when you get out and I will try to get the pink out.” He nodded and walked in after George. I leaned against the wall trying to imagine Snape’s classroom, wishing I could have seen his face. Soon enough a dripping George walked back out of the doorway, he had a towel in his hands and another wrapped around his hips. 

“Like what you see?” He winked as he used the towel in his hands to dry his hair. Dramatically he stopped and flexed, turning around and doing different poses. 

“Will you go get dressed.” I laughed out. “Are your robes in there? I’ll try and get the pink out after Fred’s out.” He nodded and walked up the steps, he didn’t leave without showing me a few more poses but eventually he disappeared into his dorm. 

“Y/N?” My head picked up at the sound of my name, I recognized Fred’s voice although slightly muffled by the door. “Will you come in here?” 

I walked tentatively toward the door. I pushed it open and saw the big bathroom, the left side had multiple shower stalls and there were benches and cubbies to my right. Looking around I saw Fred leaning against a sink straight in front of me, he had a towel wrapped around his hips much like George but it sat slightly lower. I closed the door behind me and took a few steps forward. 

“You ok Freddie?” I asked. He turned to face me and I gulped, his toned torso and pale skin was dripping due to the humidity in the room. The room itself was slightly foggy and the longer I looked at him the more hot I felt. The damp air caused my clothes to latch onto my skin and seeing him in front of me made my breathing hitch. 

He let out a short groan. “I can’t get the pink out of my hair.” Looking at his hair instead of his body I could see the clumps of pink he couldn’t get out. I walked forward and reached my hands up to move his hair, our chests were close to touching, I could feel his eyes on my face which was getting hotter the longer I stood there. I kept my focus on his ginger locks, moving them around to inspect them the best I could considering our large height gap. 

“Did you use cold water?” I asked. He nodded curtly and swallowed, I couldn’t help but laugh. “Well you hardened the paint and it’s practically dried in your hair now.” 

He groaned again. “So I bloody gave myself hypothermia for nothing?” I bit my lip to suppress another laugh that was dangerously close from escaping. I watched as his eyes travelled down to my lips momentarily causing a new wave of heat and nerves to hit me like a bus. 

“I’m sorry Freddie, I can try to get it out for you if you want.” I offered, I felt bad for him, I knew he didn’t want to cut his hair and if we didn’t get it out we might just have to. 

“You want to shower with me?” He smirked down at me. I felt my cheeks warm up and my mouth go dry. 

“I meant in the sink.” I gulped and slapped his chest lightly. His smirk didn’t falter as he lowered his head in the sink. I turned on the hot water, testing it to make sure it wasn’t too hot I directed his head into the line of water. I massaged his head lightly and I felt him relax as I did so. I saw the way his shoulders lost their tension and the muscles moved lightly as he sighed. I felt accomplished seeing that I was helping him. 

I took my eyes off of his back and watched the water turn pink and go down the drain. When the water was looking clear again I racked my fingers through his hair to make sure I didn’t miss any clumps. Satisfied I turned off the water and turned around to grab a towel for his head. Drying my hands I heard him ring out his hair. 

“Wow, thanks.” He said breathily, I turned to see him inspecting his hair in the mirror. I walked up to him with a smile on my face. 

“No problem.” He smiled back, leaning down he went for the towel in my hands. Before he could grab it I threw it over his head. He pulled the towel off his face with a pout. 

“That wasn’t nice.” He began to dry his hair, moving his arms up and fast which caused his muscles to ripple beneath his skin. I gulped eyeing him as my body felt warmer than I would have liked in that moment. 

“Maybe that's my definition of nice.” I said breathlessly. My voice was a little weak and I knew my cheeks were flushed. He eyed me before halting his actions, the familiar smirk grew on his face and he walked up to me, closing the distance between us so there was less than an inch separating our bodies. 

“Is it?” He drawled, looking down at me. I looked at him from beneath my eyelashes, watching every movement he made as my heart felt like it was going to explode. I watched his eyes as they flickered between my own and then down to my lips. I felt us get closer but I wasn’t aware we were moving. “You know I quite like-” 

“Oi, stop snogging!” George’s voice made us both jump away from each other. I looked toward the door but it was out of sight. Relief washed over me as I realized that probably meant he didn’t see us so close together. “The train is leaving in less than an hour and I want to get food before we leave.” I watched as Fred collected his things, he sent me a sympathetic smile and walked towards the door. I didn’t move both confused and embarrassed. I heard a smack followed by a yelp from George before the door shut leaving me alone with their soiled robes and my racing thoughts. 

- 

The train ride was full of chatter. Pushing past people to find an empty compartment I heard a lot of whispers about Snape's classroom, the boys behind me were trying to suppress their giggles as we walked down the tight hallway. I stumbled a bit but towards the end of the train cart but I found one. 

“Finally.” I exclaim, I pushed through the door and struggled to lift my trunk over my head. Suddenly it became lighter and I watched it move above my head and onto its rack. Turning I saw Fred pushing it into place. “Thanks.” I breathed out. 

He smiled down at me. His hand lingered on my trunk caging me between the seats and him. Seeing him above me made my heart flutter, his hair was getting longer and it fell into his eyes, leaning up on my toes I brushed it out of his eyes slightly. I watched him tense slightly and sputter for a moment. He froze and I sat down happily knowing I made flush. He sat down next to me, leaving little room between us despite the empty bench. I looked across to the other side of the compartment where Lee and George were eyeing me amused. Rolling my eyes I tried to send them my best ‘drop it’ face. 

The train ride was filled with giggles and Fred and George telling us about the prank from their point of view. Half way through their story I zoned out, eyeing the rolling fields in through the window. My thoughts traveled back to the bathroom, what happened there and what could have happened if George didn’t interrupt. 

Was he about to kiss me?

My logical side said I was crazy for considering it but my romantic side couldn’t deny the fact that he kept looking at my lips. I brought my hand up to trace my lips, imaging what could have been as the scenery outside changed from farm land to the city. 

“Almost there!” I announced. I remembered I was staying with them and I was put on edge immediately. The thoughts of doubt resurfaced about being rejected because of my house. I felt my heartbeat quicken and my palms get sweaty. 

“Mum’s so excited to meet you.” George said snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked at him puzzled. 

“She wouldn’t stop writing about it,” Fred laughed from beside me. “You’re going to room with Ginny is that ok?” I nodded as a response still feeling the nerves buzzing around inside me. 

“Yeah,” George snorted. “She didn’t us to sleep in the room, I don’t blame her though, I don’t want to be up all night because you and Fred are snogging or more than that.” He feigned disgust and I tried to push down the embarrassment as I pushed my focus on the window. I watched as the train entered the station, out of the corner of my eye I watched Fred chuck a chocolate frog box at his twins head and Lee laughing only to be kicked by George. I suppressed my smile and watched the station change from a blur of people into more recognizable shapes as the train stopped.

[mrsbhandari]

Artsy As Fuck - Charcoal

Author’s note: HIIIII i decided to post pretty much all of my writing on here, just to make it more accessible!! I hope you like it!!

Word count: 1718

Warnings: language, colt is ~nude~ in this chapter but it’s not sexual teehee, there will be eventual smut in this fic tho....

Summary:  Colt picks up an extra job for some extra cash. He doesn't expect standing naked for an hour every few days to actually land him a date.

Masterlist

--------------------------

“Go ahead and take off your robe, Mr. Kaneko.”

“Sure. And...it’s Colt. Don’t worry about formality when I’m going to be naked in front of you for an hour, sir.”

The professor laughed, clapping Colt on his bare shoulder. Colt had at least a foot on him and was significantly beefier, but he was almost knocked off his footing by the older man. Colt took the robe off but kept a towel wrapped low around his hips to keep his modesty until the art students arrived.

“You ever model before, Colt?” The professor was moving around the room quickly, tidying up and preparing the easels for the students who were supposed to be arriving any minute.

“Can’t say I have,” Colt admitted, positioning himself on a large white platform in the middle of the easels arranged in a circle on the light wood floor. Each wall of the room was a window with three of them facing outside. Colt had been reassured that each window was one-way, so passersby couldn’t see in. He didn’t particularly care, but figured that the studio wanted to avoid complaints about a naked man being so...displayed, even if it was in the name of education.

“Well, that shouldn’t be a problem. The artists will tell you how to position and move, so just listen to them and you’ll be fine.” The professor ended his advice just as a student walked in followed by a stream of classmates with pencils and charcoal at the ready. Colt kept his cool and ensured that his face remained neutral, not wanting to give away too much to a room of strangers. Each student surprised him, though, by asking his name and how he was doing. He was expecting pretentious artists who couldn’t give less of a fuck about him; what he got was a group of kids his age who were polite and just as poor as he was. Another thing he was expecting was at least a little bit of discomfort at drawing him naked, but once he dropped his towel and struck a final pose on his platform, the class just began with no objection--all but one.

A girl with a braid down to her waist had caught Colt’s eye as she walked in, eyeing his chest and suggestive towel placement with an indecipherable expression. Her true feelings were painted in the soft blush coloring her tan cheeks pink. After looking him in the eye and giving a brief greeting, she immediately averted her gaze and practically ran to an easel. Colt didn’t have time to worry about it with the rest of the class eager to begin, but the girl’s face still stayed in the back of his mind as the room filled with the sound of light joking from the artists and the scratch of their utensils on paper. As soon as the students began drawing, different demands were called out at him as politely as possible.

“Can you put your fingers under your chin, please?”

“Colt, would you be comfortable if you stretched your arm behind you?”

“Would it be alright if you spread your legs just a little bit wider, Colt?” He raised his eyebrows at that last one, but figured he wasn’t paid to question it. The girl he’d noticed before happened to sit in the seat he was facing, and Colt enjoyed watching her features contort in concentration. She had never asked him to move or change how he was sitting on the chair on the platform, but she seemed to take every movement in stride, never letting frustration show on her face. She had chosen charcoal as her tool and his eyes traced her hands and fingers, stained black with her effort to capture Colt on the page. Her eyes flicked back up at him to study another line of his body to soon be translated to paper, but they met with his gaze instead. A fresh coat of pink was  brushed across her neck, blooming from the collar of her plain white t-shirt that was stained almost as much as her hands. She moved her eyes down to her paper to sketch out his body more and Colt took the chance to study her a bit more.

Her eyebrows were knit together and her hands were making measured strokes against the paper before gently blending out with her fingers. He wondered how he looked to her and what she would show of him on the easel. He knew that with the way his legs were posed, his muscular thighs were on display for her, which he reasoned could be the cause of her blush. Maybe she had never been with anyone before, he thought before pushing it out of his mind. Now wasn’t the greatest time to be thinking of sex. The girl leaned closer to her paper before blending more and Colt fought to suppress a laugh as her tongue barely peeked out her lips in concentration. The irony of the innocence of her action next to the picture of the naked man she was drawing was definitely bringing him to the brink of falling off the chair.

“Colt? Are you alright?” His expression (of course) didn’t escape another girl a few spaces down. Colt tore his eyes away from the beauty in front of him and looked at the girl who had exposed him, trying to come up with a reason for his face in the split second it would take to turn his head.

“Uh, yeah. Sorry,” he answered lamely. Inwardly, he cringed at his response but remained cool.

“No need to apologize, Colt! I was just about the call time anyway. Alright, put a name on the back of your art and leave it on the easel,” the professor announced, clasping his hands together. “Go get some lunch and I should have these graded quickly.”

As the students began to pack up, Colt hopped off his platform to quickly dress in the small bathroom connected to the studio, splashing water on his face before exiting again. Glancing around the room, he had to admit that he was slightly upset that he never got the mystery girl’s name before she left, but he figured that if he was going to ask for it, she would be more receptive to a dressed man. The professor spotted him and invited Colt to look at the different artworks, but to avoid seeming oddly fixated on one of his students, he leisurely walked around the circle of easels, staring at each picture of his naked body. It was weird to him, seeing the lines of his anatomy so clearly sketched on the paper. Colt did consider himself somewhat attractive, but in the rugged way associated with being a mechanic. He was grease and sweat and muscles. The sharp lines of his face and pointy corners of his attitude defined his physical being.

These sketches though...they were all graceful waves and soft shading. They made him look...beautiful, unlike any way he had ever seen himself.

“Good, aren’t they?” the professor asked, watching Colt’s amazed expression with amusement. “They’re one of my best classes. Don’t tell them that, though.”

Cole smiled as he reached a specific girl’s paper and let out a small gasp. The other students had only included his body due to the specific assignment being about anatomy, but this girl somehow found time to draw his face as well. The professor whistled next to him.

“Roze doesn’t disappoint. She’s always been quick!” he exclaimed, leaning closer to the paper for a better look. “The detail is immaculate.” Colt figured he should have been uncomfortable or at least weirded out at how closely the professor was studying his body, but after looking at his own face etched into the paper, all thought left his mind.

Colt’s face was depicted with a slightly amused look, complete with a barely-there smirk and a single raised eyebrow. He could feel the snark that so many people knew him for dripping from the paper. The way this girl seemed to capture it without ever having a conversation with him bewildered him beyond belief. The blending created shadows accentuating his cheekbones and sharp jawline, bringing out the masculine qualities typically associated with him.

Colt’s eyes meandered down the page and saw that his collarbone was also dramatized with shadows, muscles impeccably defined, and the pose she had caught him in only emphasized the overall sass of the picture. He had been instructed to raise his chin and place his fingers under it, which gave the picture the haughtiness of a prince being told to work; the stretch of his torso and the flexing of his abs added a seductiveness Colt had never been expecting the girl to really sketch. This girl--Roze--was talented.

The ringing of his phone pulled Colt away from the picture and he hurriedly answered it. “Hey, Pop. What do you need?” Colt would’ve been foolish to consider his father was calling for any other reason than a job.

“Are you finished with your thing, son? We have a customer that stepped in just as I was about to step out.” His father’s voice crackled through his phone’s speaker and Colt could hear the exhaustion.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in five.”

“Fantastic.”

Walking into the shop and hearing laughter wasn’t uncommon; hearing it when it was just supposed to be his father and a customer was definitely not normal. Cautiously, Colt parked his bike and took his helmet off, trying to gain information from the scene before he entered it. Unfortunately, the two were in the office, so the only way to learn was to walk directly into the lion’s den.

“Hey,” he greeted his father as he stood in the doorway to the office. As the customer was turning around, Colt thought to himself how familiar the braid going down her back was. He realized why when he faced Roze, the girl who had drawn him so perfectly that he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about the picture as he rode over to the shop. The blush returned to her neck and face as she undoubtedly thought about him naked just half an hour before.

“Colt!” she exclaimed, lip immediately becoming worried under her white teeth.

“Uh, hey.”

[221bshrlocked]

Starstruck (1)

Pairing: Chris Beck x Reader

Words: 3445

Warnings: Bullying. Nothing else.

Prompt: “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

A/N: This is for one of my absolute favs @moonbeambucky . I love you dude :) Congrats on the milestone friend and yeeepepepe I hope you like this. Chris is getting his MA degree and reader is an undergrad. I don’t remember writing anything for our favorite spaceman so tell me how it is please and thank you. And sorry it is so last minute I am still struggling with writing.

Part 2

Pretending you didn’t just hear Emily mock your major for god knows what time this week, you plugged your headphones in and blasted some music in hopes to tune her out. You laughed at your own joke, and read the paragraph again to try and learn something.

Hmm, tune her out, that was funny Y/N!

But the harder you tried to focus, the louder and more obnoxious everyone became. You knew what they were doing, you knew why they kept on teasing you, and you thought ignoring them would eventually make it stop but that wasn’t the case. You’d never feel self-conscious about your major but sometimes, they hit you right where it hurt. Too many nights were spent crying just because they called you stupid or slow or unnecessary. 

It’s okay, they don’t understand what the world would be life if music didn’t exist. Just ignore them. Don’t let them get to you. 

Thinking back to when you started living here, you couldn’t help but sigh because all of this was avoidable had you not listened to your friend. Yes the price was lower than everywhere else, especially for this campus, and you weren’t far from where your classes met, even the grocery store was a minute away. Fine, this was the best deal and you’d probably not change your decision just because some assholes had issues. 

They’re all leaving this weekend anyway so just power through this Y/N alright. You can do this. Fucking power through it and you’ll do gr-

You looked up as soon as you heard the front door opening, a part of you for once wishing this man was not walking through the door right now and was that his friend behind him? 

“How did I just get to see your place man?” The blonde man asked before remembering he should probably leave his umbrella outside. You frowned when you noticed just how much it was raining, realizing there was no way you’d attempt to go to the library now.

The brunette glared at him before turning to you, a small smile adorning his face for a second right as he walked past you. You heard him ascending the two flights of stairs to your floor, probably to get something from his room and leave again. He was the only one living on the same floor as you, the other six being on the first and ground floors. 

You snapped out of your haze when you heard someone tapping on your book, causing you to jump and take your headphones out.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. I’m Liam by the way.” He pulled out a chair and sat next to you, flipping the book to see what you were studying.

“Well this is fun,” he commented while pointing at the organic chemistry problems, making you cringe at his reaction because who in their right mind would call organic chemistry fun?

“Easy for you to say, this isn’t my major and frankly, I can’t stand it.” You crossed your arms, smiling a little because there was a cute blondie laughing at what you said. “I’m going to be honest with you, this is the shit I deal with on a daily basis and I agree with you. Can’t fucking stand it most of the times, especially when that genius upstairs makes it look like a piece of cake.”

“Oh? W-what’re you guys studying?” Knowing you’d never have the guts to ask your ‘neighbor,’ your curiosity got the best of you and blurted out the question before you can stop yourself. “We’re not in the same program actually but I’m in biomedical engineering and Chris over there is m-”

“Your late friend.” Chris came running down the stairs, wearing a NASA sweatshirt and a leather jacket on top and if you weren’t so occupied with what you just heard the girls in the other room were saying, you’d have gotten a better look at him. “Hey man we have a few minutes, I was just telling your cute housemate what you’re doing. You know she’s studying organic chemistry right? Maybe you c-”

“Liam I told you we needed to cut lunch short and now you’re being a dickhead again. Let’s go. Sorry Y/N!” Chris grabbed his friend and shoved him out the door but not before you heard his friend looking back at you and whispering “the Y/N? That’s Y/N??” You waved goodbye when they left, turning around and seeing Emily and Letty staring you down while the guys tried to catch their attention again. You’d think people would grow out of that phase in university but nope.

You dove back into your book and ignored them, trying your hardest not to think about Liam and who you now know as Chris. An hour later, you finally had the house to yourself, knowing fully well that everyone else was probably partying somewhere. Everyone has finished their finals, including you, except unlike everyone, you didn’t pass all of yours. Luckily, your professor grew very fond of you and appreciated how much time and effort you put into his class, informing you that while he takes your improvement into account, he couldn’t possibly pass you with that final grade. So you concluded with an agreement, if he gives you a chance to retake the final, you’d help him grade the other classes’ finals as well. When he smiled and shook your hands enthusiastically, you were relieved.

Two chapters and three cups of coffee later, you knew you couldn't stay awake any longer. As you packed your stuff and headed to your room, you couldn’t help but remember what happened a few hours ago again.

Wait, how did he know my name?

Thinking he probably just heard it from someone in the house, you threw your books on the desk and headed to your dresser, grabbing a pair of panties and your hair products before walking to the bathroom and hanging your towel near the curtain. 

As the water warm water hit your back, you silently prayed the next week would pass by as peacefully as possible. But those thoughts scattered away when an image of Chris popped up in your head. Of course you had to fall for the quiet, uninterested, probably rude science dude, knowing fully well he wouldn’t give you a second glance. If only you wouldn’t freeze up whenever you saw him. Thinking back to when you were checking out the house, you smiled at what your friend said when she saw him walking into his room. And it took you two whole semesters to convince her he was definitely not the reason you moved here.

Well, he wasn’t the main reason but he was among the pros on your list. Rinsing your hair, you shut the water off and stepped out, wrapping the towel around your body before looking for your panties. When you couldn’t find them anywhere, you thought you probably just forgot to bring them, unlocking the door and heading to your room. Shutting your door, you were about to let go of the towel when you heard a knock on your door. 

Pulling open the knob, your eyes widened in horror when you saw Chris standing in the middle of the doorway, hands crossed and-

Shit shit shit this is not happening.

“Hey Y/N you dro- fuck…” Chris knew he should shut his eyes but seeing you in nothing but the towel, hair still wet and thighs peeking from below the towel made him shift in his place. He realized he swore out loud and swallowed thickly, blinking before looking down at his feet. “S-sorry to bother you I know it’s late but...I umm, you seem to have dropped these and- well, here you go.” Chris held out his hand to you, fingers entirely intertwined with the soft cotton of your pink panties. 

“Th-thank you, I...was just, sorry it’s uhh, getting late. Good night.” You didn’t wait for his response, stepping back and shutting the door quickly before resting your back on it. You heard him bid you goodnight from behind the doorway, steps leading away from your door letting you know he already left. You tried to calm your heart for a few minutes before slipping into your pajamas and rolling under the covers, pretending the last fifteen minutes never happened.

Chris on the other hand paced back and forth, the image of your body so slick and shiny under your bedroom light making him hiss before looking down and seeing his hard-on pressing against his sweatpants. He only just spent the last three hours telling his friends to fuck off because there was no way a girl like you was single. He came up with so many excuses to not ask you out, knowing the only thing stopping him is his fear of rejection. But now that he got a glimpse of you, he knew he had to at least try, even if it made things awkward later on.

When you woke up the next day, and walked downstairs to make breakfast, you’d completely forgotten everything that happened the night prior, cooking some waffles before pouring yourself some coffee and sitting down to check your emails. As soon as Chris walked in, hair messy and sweatpants hanging low on his hips, you choked on the liquid, holding your hands up when he stepped closer to you and patted your back.

“Shit you okay?” You tried to not think of the very tight white tank top he was wearing but the coughs only grew louder. “W-wrong pipe,” you managed to say between attempts to clear your throat. “Yeah just don’t speak, deep breathes, leave this for now.” He pushed the mug away and continued to rub your back, failing to notice how you’d already stopped coughing. You looked up at him and smiled, noticing the blush creeping up his neck when he realized he was still touching you. Chris pulled away reluctantly, rubbing his thighs before returning the awkward smile and heading to the coffee maker. 

You stayed silent, afraid to say something because all you could think about is Chris holding your panties in his hands. He’d turned around and leaned against the sink, drinking his coffee and staring intently at you.

“You take your coffee black?” was the only thing you managed to come up with, cringing at your attempts of making conversation because of course he does, he’s drinking it right now isn’t he? 

“Yeah, like my soul!” Chris chuckled before shaking his head and mentally slapping himself. But then he heard you snort at what he said, face beaming from happiness. 

She thinks I’m funny? Okay, so she likes a little bit of dark, weird humor, cool. I can do that. Definitely doable.

Before he could say anything else, you were already getting up and rinsing the plate and mug, putting them in the dishwasher before telling him you’d see him later.

“Great job man.” Chris murmured to himself, finishing the rest of his coffee before heading upstairs to get dressed. He walked past your room and stopped, finally understanding why you probably almost died downstairs not ten minutes ago. He completely forgot about last night and realized you didn’t and shit shit shit did he need to apologize again? When he heard some rustling behind the door, he ran to his room and shut it as silently as possible. 

What are you five years old? Get your shit together and act like an adult. You’re in medical school man for fuck’s sake!

You weren’t planning on leaving the house today but this was the first time you’d seen him in the morning and you panicked because what if he was going to stay inside for the day? It wouldn’t end well because at some point, you would’ve made a fool out of yourself, again, and that wasn’t going to be good for your already stressful self.

Chris was in fact planning on staying inside, even though it was Friday. But he didn’t want to run into you again, knowing he was completely unprepared and needed to ask one of his friends for advice, much to his dislike. 

You thought the library would be the perfect place to get your head in the game but you couldn’t have been proven more wrong. You couldn’t stop thinking about how more talkative he became around you in the span of a day, occasionally zoning out and thinking of different scenarios where you weren’t a complete dork and actually held up a conversation with him.

Chris spent the day helping his friend plan some of the talks he and the others were going to give during the Annual meeting for the American College of Surgeons. But as hard as he tried to be of use, he wasn’t able to do much, mind running a hundred miles in attempts to come up with something to say to you. By six o’clock, his friend told him he should go home and get some rest before next week, and when he apologies for not helping out as much as the others, she told him not to worry about it and to try and talk to you.

“Wow, might as well give Liam a fucking mic so he can tell everyone.” Chris didn’t bother tying his shoes or changing out of his scrubs. “Relax, he said it by accident and let’s be honest, there is no way anything else can get the famous Chris Beck this distracted unless it was a girl. Seriously just be yourself and I’m sure she’ll like you.”

“I can’t even say one word without making a fool out of myself.” He stood up and put on his NASA sweatshirt. 

“Well maybe you can help her out. Liam was telling me she was doing some chemistry stuff and was close to crying because of it. Come on Beck woe the girl, buy her some coffee and help the damsel in distress and you’ll see how far that goes.” Chris laughed at what Diana said, shaking his head before turning around and leaving.

“If that works, I swear I will help you out all of next week.” He pointed at her and shut the door behind him, heading to the nearby coffee place with a smile on his face. 

You’d already left the library with a friend and decided to go to the coffee shop just around the corner with your friend, immediately regretting it when you entered and saw the rest of the house crew sitting on the couches. 

“Hey look, our very own Mozart has a social life.” One of the guys yelled and made everyone around stare at you. Your friend asked if you wanted to leave and you told her it was fine, ordering a hot cocoa and keeping busy with talking to her about your new assignment. You could distinctly hear them still teasing you, shaking your head and laughing when your friend told you she can easily hit them with her cello. 

“Let’s just leave,” you grabbed your cup and were about to head out when you hear some ruckus from behind you. 

“What do you mean we have to leave?” Emily yelled at the barista standing in front of her group. 

“It means, if I don’t see your little butts making their way out that door in the next minute, I will call campus police and file a report against you.” She placed her hands on her hips and didn’t budge when one of the guy stood up and got in her face. “Oh yeah and why should we believe you?” He pulled up his sleeves and smiled down at her.

“Because under Section 2.7-C, I have the right to kick you out for not only being unreasonably rowdy, and having already finished your orders an hour ago, but also lacking adequate hygiene seeing as you are, I’m assuming, football players and frankly, smell like ass. Since you’re in a public restaurant, it is my responsibility to keep this space clean and peaceful.” None of them said anything to the barista, blank expressions making everyone laugh and clap before Emily stood up again.

“You’re bluffing.”

“Sweetheart, I’m in three-L, I’m getting hired to become a prosecutor, and the Bar exam in this state is a piece of cake. So I would leave if I were you. Enjoy your pumpkin spice latte!” She smiled at her before looking at you and winking, crossing her arms and seeing the entire group ignoring you as they left. You walked up to her immediately to ask her what that was all about.

“Thank you so much you we were just leaving and I-”

“Don’t worry about it. There’s no place for bullies here and honestly they were too fucking loud.”

“That was so freaking cool and I’m in awe.”

“I may have pulled that law out of my ass but technically, it still applies. Just forgot what section it was under.” She rubbed your shoulder and told you to enjoy the rest of your night. You left with your friend and headed to your place, laughing along with your friend because how scared they looked.

“You have it bad Chris. Make a move on her or else I will.” Angela threw her towel at the corner where Chris stood the entire time. “Don’t you fucking dare!” He pointed at his friend and grabbed the coffee meant for you. 

“Thank you by the way. I owe you one.” Chris lowered his head, clasping his hands together to thank his friend.

“Hell yeah you do, got get’em tiger,” she smiled before pushing him out the way and getting back to her work. When he made it back to the house, he smiled when he saw you making dinner in the kitchen. But that smile evaporated as soon as he heard the obnoxious yelling coming from the second floor. Ignoring them, he walked towards you and cleared his throat, waving when you turned around and and said hi.

“So Liam was telling me you needed help with some chemistry and I- well I was on my way back and thought....umm, you’re probably going to study tonight and instead of making yourself some coffee, I got this.” Chris placed the cup on the kitchen table and stared at you.

“Oh, wow god you didn’t have to Chris that’s, you’re too nice.” 

“I asked for hazelnut, I know you like it so, yeah it it was nothing really.” He stuttered and if you weren’t blown away by what he did, you would’ve found it really cute that a man like him was shy around you.

“I’m sure you’re really busy and I’d hate to have you waste your time helping me out with something like that and-”

“No no seriously it’s nothing. I’m already done with my exams and I’m not doing much next week.”

“You’re not going back for Christmas?” You didn’t want to sound too desperate to have him around but you couldn’t help it.

“Nope, I’m doing some interviews here then I leave to Pennsylvania for another one and then Washington and then California but until then, I’m a free-ish man.” Knowing it wasn’t in your place to ask him about the interviews, you just nodded and shut the stove off, telling him you’ll eat quickly before bringing down your stuff.

“How about we just stay upstairs? Avoid those idiots and wait until they leave.” He tried not to look to nervous asking you that question and relaxed when you took it with the best intentions.

“Yeah sounds good, and thank you so much it means a lot. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but I just can’t seem to understand any of that stuff.”

“It’s definitely not for everyone. I can barely stand it sometimes.” Chris wasn’t one for showing off and he raised his hands when you called him on his bullshit. “What do you mean?” 

“I was talking to your friend and he told me you were a genius when it came to all of this...he even told me you make him feel stupid sometimes.” You laughed when Chris looked offended by what you said, and thought this wasn’t too bad of a start after all.

“I never!! I just happened to study more than him and don’t fuck around when the professor is lecturing.” He grabbed a cookie from his bag and started eating. You tried not to let it affect you but the way he swore made you feel some kind of way that you hoped would go soon.

[zweiginator]

Duality

Brian May x Reader

Summary: It’s the end of the semester and with final exams in a week, you’re desperate for physics help. Your professor recommends Brian May, a bright young student who is seemingly unsure, anxious and apprehensive at life. So when he invites you to a Queen gig, you’re shocked to see another side of him. 

Warning: DEFINITELY REALLY INAPPROPRIATE AND SMUTTY I WARNED YOU!!

This semester had taken a physical strain on you. You had transferred to a new university, and the pressure of making all new friends and having all new classes, which were much more strenuous than those of your old school, was weighing down on you, causing you quite a few breakdowns throughout the transition period.

Now, final exams were approaching quickly, and you had piles of assignments to complete, seemingly thousands of dates to memorize for your Renaissance history course, a few hundred thousand words to write in essays for your composition class, and worst of all, terribly complex equations to master for your physics class, all before next week. Why you had decided to take that class was beyond your locus of understanding, you weren’t majoring in anything of the sort, and you weren’t a very math or science enthused person.

All you did know, was that you were on the verge of failing the class, by the scarlet red marks which covered the top of each of your exams, the midterm being the worst score you had ever received in your life. You’d always worked hard in life and achieved grades you were proud of, for the most part, so struggling in a class was foreign to you and you hated the feeling. Worst of all, you didn’t want to admit defeat, to ask for help was the stripping of your dignity to you, and you were dreading the conversation you were about to have with your professor.

As the 10:30 AM lecture ended, your peers packed up their belongings, heaving their giant backpacks over their tired shoulders, shoving crumpled assignments and exams with near-perfect marks into their folders, making weekend plans with their friends. You slowly stood up from your desk in the front of the room, neatly putting your unsightly exams into your portfolio and sighing, before walking towards your professor’s mahogany desk, which was cluttered with red and blue ballpoint pens and coffee-stained papers.

“Um, Professor Prescott?” You inquired, taking a deep breath as you met her blue eyes.

“Y/n, I’m afraid if you need extra help today, I’m not able to do that. I’m awfully busy tonight with appointments, and the rest of the semester is booked with grading and conferences with other professors.” She looked at you with pseudo-sympathy, pursing her lips as she slung her brown leather teacher’s bag over her willowy shoulder.

“Professor Prescott, I really need help. I know I’m close to failing this course, and I need to do well, considering my position at this school depends on it. Please, is there any way you can help me?” You felt tears begin to prick the corners of your eyes and you scolded yourself for being so dramatic in front of an authority figure.

She sighed and tore a piece of yellow paper from a legal pad underneath a mass of quizzes and exams. “I suppose I can recommend a bright student of mine to help you. He’s in a course a few levels above this one. He does exceptionally well, and I’m sure he’d be happy to help you, y/n. Just tell him that I sent you, he tends to be very anxious.” She gave you a small smile and scribbled a name and a phone number before handing it to you, leading you out of the classroom and into the crisp fall air, wind nipping at your exposed skin.

“I hate making phone calls, Debbie.” You complained, rolling your eyes at your roommate, who was sitting across from you, eating a small sandwich.

“No, you hate admitting you need help, y/n.” She retorted, cocking her blonde eyebrows at you.

“I mean, you’re right, but I don’t want to get help from some random guy and it be awkward and terrible. Maybe I’m just not meant to be at this school.” You took a chip from her plate and mirrored the judgmental look on her face.

“Y/n, you’re going to call this random awkward guy and you’re going to get a passing grade on this exam, and you’ll be fine.” She smiled and cocked her head towards the pastel peach phone hanging by the humming refrigerator.

You scour your pockets for the paper and take it out, looking at the number before quickly dialing it on the rotary, holding the phone between your cheek and your shoulder as you tied your hair back. The phone rang only twice before somebody picked it up, muttering a confident, “Hello?” in a deep, raspy voice.

“Hello? Is this Brian May?” You were afraid she had given you the wrong number, this guy sounded self-assured, cocky, and nothing like the anxious, shy boy professor Prescott had described to you.

“And who would be asking?” He retorted.

“Um, my name’s y/n, Professor Prescott gave me this--your number because I need help with physics. Desperately.”

“I’m no Brian May, but I can help you with something else if you so desperately need it, sweetie.” He chuckles and you cringe at his words, before you hear the shrill sound of the phone being knocked out of his hand, and a loud, “ROGER” from the other side of the line, and then a raspier, “fucking teacher’s pet,” from who you assume to be this Roger character you were just speaking to.

You begin to hear shaky, heavy breathing on the other line, which sounded a lot less self-assured, and a lot more like who your professor described. “Hello?” He asked, barely above a squeak. You were about to answer him when he started apologizing profusely. “I’m-I’m sorry if my roommate--Roger--was offensive towards you or said anything inappropriate, he’s very, um, outspoken, especially with girls--not that that’s an excuse, but I’m sorry.”

You giggled a little, finding his care for your feelings charming and cute. “No, no it’s not your fault, you don’t need to apologize. I just-really need help with physics, and professor Prescott recommended you. If you can’t or don’t want to help me then I understand but--it’s worth a try.” You felt stupid for rambling but his nervousness was transferring onto your demeanor.

“Oh! I’d love to help you--uh, I’ve helped a lot of students study for this exam so I know more or less the material that’s on it so I can just teach you that stuff and not bother with the other material so as to not waste time--not that I don’t want to help I just don’t want to waste your time..um, what did you say your name was? I’m terribly sorry.” You heard loud giggling in the background of the call and mocking sounds from more than one person and you felt you face turn bright red.

“Oh, I’m y/n, where would you like to meet up? We can in about an hour if that works for you?” You licked your lips, waiting for his reply.

“I always go to this café on twelfth street when I tutor, it’s very ambient. And an hour from now would be perfect, y/n. It was nice talk-”

You interrupted him, tripping over your own words. “Wait-wait, Brian how will I know it’s you?”

“Oh, I never thought about that.” His voice was shaky yet impeccably smooth, almost sultry, even though you could feel the anxiety seeping through his tone. “Um, I will be sitting at the first booth you see when you walk into the door. I’ll be hard to miss.”

And then the call ended, and you reluctantly set the phone back onto the receiver, noticing that you had bitten your nails down quite a bit during the awkward encounter.

For the next forty-five minutes, you sat at the dining room table nervously tapping your patent leather boots against the oak floor, circling terms and concepts you weren’t sure about on the exam outline your professor had given your class weeks before. You sighed as your paper was soaked with red ink; you didn’t know a thing.

You stood in front of the antique mirror which was perched by the front door of your shared apartment, fixing stray strands of hair which had fallen from the back of your topknot. You quickly applied some brick-red lipstick and put some hoop earrings in, trying to look somewhat decent, as the stress you were under had made your confidence plummet recently.

“Isn’t this just a tutoring session?” Your other roommate, Alison inquired, raising her eyebrows at you, almost accusatory.

“I mean, yeah, but I want to look decent, Alison.” You retorted, grabbing your purse from the coat hook by the door.

“Who is this guy who’s tutoring you again?” Debbie questioned, fixing the hood of your coat.

“Brian May,”

“That sounds vaguely familiar for some reason.” Alison countered, as you left your apartment.

The November wind nipped against  your skin, making goosebumps form against your rosy skin. The streets were bustling with midday traffic and you walked the short trek to the café, listening to your boots click against the cement, and the occasional sound of a rust-colored leaf crunch beneath your feet.

As you reached twelfth street, your heartbeat began to quicken as you had no clue what this Brian looked like, you only knew the sound of his voice, and he didn’t give you much to go off of. You peered into the window which extended across the front of the old brick building, but the tint prevented you from looking too long. You walked to the door, a dark stained wood door with an old copper handle, eroded from years of use, cold against your already numb fingertips.

You turned the corner as you walked into the café, and saw a sea of dark, chocolate-brown curls atop who you assumed to be Brian May’s head. He was hunched over in concentration at the booth, working on a physics problem, you could see the familiar assignment, and the buttons of his calculator reflecting against the ambient light. He looked small, curled into the corner of the booth, so you were more than surprised when he stood to greet you and was towering above you, thin, jean-clad legs taking up most of his body. He wore a simple white button-up which had all but one button fastened. You could see the top of his bony sternum, and the sleeves to his shirt were messily rolled up, revealing muscular yet dainty forearms, and his fingernails were short, contrasting with his long, slender fingers, and had the remnants of white nail polish on them.

His face was even more handsome than you could have ever imagined, and you felt your face redden at the sight of it. His eyebrows were dark, and tapered off towards the tails, giving his warm hazel eyes a kind, almost ethereal look. His cheekbones were high and elegant, his nose aquiline and prominent and quintessentially masculine, stopping just above his light pink lips.

He gestured for you to sit down and you took your coat off hurriedly, as he scooted over to make room for you next to him. You felt nervous and uneasy, sitting next to this gorgeous guy, and you were glad you put extra time into your appearance today.

“Okay, y/n, what do you need help with?” He met your eyes only briefly, and blushed a little, flashing a toothy smile at the table where his large hands rested upon the paper he was working on.

You scoured your bag for the review sheet and handed it to him, giving him a nervous laugh. “Pretty much everything,” you answered, sighing. He handed you his pencil, which was chewed around the barrel, and you could see the embarrassment in his eyes; he regretted giving you the pencil. Your fingers touched briefly and he stuttered his words as he began to teach you the material. As the session continued you got closer and closer to each other, and he ordered you a snack and a coffee, and you noticed he accidentally drank out of your cup a few times, but you didn’t mind enough to tell him; you knew it’d embarrass him.

He was hunched over, helping you enter something into your calculator correctly when you asked him more personal questions.

“So, Brian, do you have another hobby, other than physics?” You joked, looking at him intently as he chewed on his pen, scribbling the answer on the messy paper in his illegible handwriting.

He met your eyes, and bit his lip lightly. “Um, yeah, I’m in a band actually. I play the guitar. It’s mostly a weekend thing, at pubs and bars.”

“Oh really? When is your next gig?” You fiddled with your own calculator, mindlessly pressing the buttons.

“Tonight, actually. At a pub just down the street. You’re welcome to come with some friends if you want.” He flushed pink and grinned at you, warmly.

“I’d love to come! What time is it?” You took out the paper with Brian’s number on it and flipped it over, ready to write the details. He took the pen from your hand and wrote the address and time in his best handwriting and then a small smiley face on the bottom corner, before folding the paper up and handing it back to you, along with the pen, which was impossibly small in his hands.

He looked at his watch and bit his lip. “I’m sorry y/n, but I actually have to go help set up the gig. If I don’t they will be mad. It was great meeting you, see you later?” He rubbed the back of his neck and you watched as a curl bounced back to its original position after being caught on a ring of his.

“Oh, of course, sorry for keeping you so long. Good luck, I’ll see you later. I’ll bring my roommates.” You stood up to let him out of the booth and he gave you an awkward kiss on the cheek, not knowing the correct etiquette for this type of situation.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As you walked back to your apartment, you couldn’t wipe the smile off of your face, even though the piercing wind was making your face numb to any feelings. You were excited to go to a concert, and excited at the prospect of having something other to focus on than final exams, even if it was just for one night. Your roommates noticed your heightened mood when you got back.

“How did it go? Was it terrible?” Debbie greeted you at the door and smirked at you when she saw your grin.

“Why are you smiling like that, yn?” Alison inquired, following behind Debbie.

“He’s super attractive, ok!” You replied, feeling your face burn up.

“Oh my god, really?” Debbie looked shocked.

“A physics tutor?” Alison looked doubtful.

“He’s cute--really cute. And he’s in a band. He’s the guitarist, and he has a gig tonight. He invited me--us. He said I could bring friends too.”

“A concert? Nice, y/n, you’re getting out there!” Alison playfully shoved you and led you over to the couch.

“What type of music is it?” Debbie sat down next to you and Alison.

“I’m not sure, but I’m guessing something acoustic and folky, I just got that feeling from him.”

“Cute,” Alison exclaimed. “Y/n got herself a catch!”

You unfolded the paper Brian had written on and looked at the time and address. It was 7:20 PM, and he wrote eight sharp on the paper.

“Shit, it’s in 40 minutes.” You quickly got up and changed your outfit, opting for something casual but classy.

As you left your apartment with your roommates twenty minutes later, you felt nervous once again, but the walk calmed you down. The atmosphere was different from what you expected when you arrived, there were a lot of people you recognized from college who were into harder stuff--druggies and metal-heads lined up at the door, and you felt overdressed when you saw everyone’s attire: layered band tees and flared pants which contrasted greatly with your outfit.

The line was surprisingly long and energetic, with hundreds of people packed onto the sidewalk mingling with the others, talking about new albums for bands you couldn’t begin to understand. The red lights from the inside of the bar cast a bright rosy red glow amongst the street, like its own personal spotlight. You vaguely heard drums and the tuning of a guitar as the door occasionally opened and closed as the bouncers let people in.

When the bouncer let you and your roommates in, you felt out of place. You weren’t expecting the venue to be so hardcore, there were crude posters messily hung about the building, and the lighting was dark and red, making everything glow with something akin to anger, making you tap your foot anxiously as you ordered a drink. You and your friends moved up to the front of the crowd, silently pushing through the sea of people to the front of the crowd. The bar owner climbed onto the stage and introduced the band, telling the crowd to get ready for Queen. They all cheered as if this wasn’t new, as if they knew what to expect. You were excited.

The drums matched your heartbeat, heavy and rhythmic, yet somehow a little irregular. You could feel the bass vibrate in your feet and the heavy riff of the guitar ringing in your ears. A flamboyant frontman came to the front of the stage, wearing an angelic white pleated white shirt, tight white pants and tall heels, with his nails painted an impossibly deep black. He grinned and danced around the stage, commanding the audience as he introduced the band members. As the light shone upon the stage, illuminating the other three men, your heart skipped a beat as you saw the same Brian you had nervously chatted with hours ago, the Brian who had an impermeable uncertainty about him, who wore conservative clothing, stuttering over his words, no matter how confident and skilled he was about the topic, towering above his bandmates, wearing a flowy, lacy top and a statement necklace which adorned his thin neck. His eyes were shadowed in dark makeup, his slender fingers now painted opaquely white, contrasting against his tanned, smooth skin. His eyes were smoldering, certain and beautiful, the eyeshadow complementing the golden brown irises.

As Brian saw you at the front of the crowd, you knew you were ogling him, but you couldn’t look away. You were awestruck by his presence, his stature, which was heightened by 3 inch heels. His eyes bore into yours and he didn’t look away. He licked his lips as he strummed the first cord of the song. Although the talent of the rest of the band was amazing, Brian was mesmerizing you with his every move. His nimble fingers struck every cord perfectly, strummed every string without fail, without taking his eyes off of you. His mouth was slightly open, and he briefly looked down to watch his own work, his fingers moving ridiculously fast over the strings and frets. He strummed with unduly passion and you could see the sheen of sweat covering his face as he turned on the delay pedal. During his solo he commanded the crowd with no words. His shoulders contracted as he moved about the stage, his long legs making him look angelic, but his smoldering look giving him an alluring, unexpected sinful appearance that was impossible to look away from.

He stared at you as he wrapped his fingers around the microphone singing into it forcefully as he played his guitar simultaneously. He and Freddie were a unit on the stage, moving together in something alike a dance between the musicians. He began to strum with more fervor, brows furrowed in concentration, breathing heavily as he swayed around the stage, entrancing the audience  as if he were a bonafide pendulum in human form, hypnotizing them with his pure talent. Your mouth was agape looking up at him, unable to believe this was the same Brian who was stumbling over his words hours before, punching numbers into an old calculator. It felt like the show had barely begun when Brian strummed the last cord, and the lights were cut, casting the four members in a shadow, shrouded by stage smoke. You were speechless as you turned to your friends, your face red dripping with sweat. You hurried to the bar and asked for a glass of water.

“So that was Brian?” Debbie looked at you with awe.

“I guess so. He was stuttering in a coffee shop with me 3 hours ago.”

You, Alison, and Debbie gushed about him as you sipped your water, unable to believe the duality of him, how a jean-clad physics tutor could command hundreds of people with an English sixpence and an old guitar. You felt a warm hand on the small of your back, the unmistakable feeling of a hard-on pressing into your back as you leaned against the bar. You quickly turned around only to realize it was Brian, motioning for the bartender to pour him a glass of water. He smirked down at you, his eyes shimmering, his cheeks flushed pink, pupils dilated so much that the golden brown irises you’d grown to love were invisible now.

He put his long arms around your waist, lifting you onto the barstool with confident ease, standing between your legs, your roommates feigning conversation four feet away.

“I want you,” Brian almost growled into your ear, nibbling at your earlobe, his hands rubbing your inner thighs, causing you to moan quietly into his own ear.

He pulled you off of the stool and held you close to him by your waist, almost as a shield for his boner as he led you backstage, where he took you into the greenroom, gaining attention and a few odd looks from his bandmates. He shut the door and didn’t even bother to lock it before he pushed you against it, pushing his hard thigh against your aching clit, holding your hands above your head with one hand, holding your waist tight with the other, hungrily kissing your neck as you ground yourself against his thigh, moaning into his mouth as he kissed you hard.

“I fucking need you.” He whispered, pressing his sweaty forehead to yours. You tangled your hands into his thick curls as he basically threw you onto the couch, set papers flying in every direction as he pulled your jeans down your legs, kissing your thighs as he pulled your panties aside, sucking on his own fingers and rubbing them against your heat, before entering 2 long fingers inside, making you arch your back. He used his thumb to rub your clit and you moaned loudly, which only spurred him on. His fingers were rough and calloused, the texture driving you crazy as he moved pulled your shirt up and quickly unclasped your bra, kissing your breasts and sucking on your nipples, hardened from arousal and the cold air of the room. He looked up at you and groaned at your face, contorted with pleasure as he continued to finger you hard.

“Fuck, Brian.” You whimpered, your legs shaking. He firmly gripped your thigh and held your hips down as he went faster, scissoring his fingers, making you cry out. You didn’t care if anybody could hear you at this point.

“Say my name again,” He commanded.

“Brian, please.” You moaned again, close to your impending orgasm. You looked at him intently, furrowing your eyebrows as he continued his movements, not taking his eyes off of you for a second. You came as soon as you felt the cold metal of his ring touch you, arching your back as you screamed his name. He took his fingers out of you, sucking them clean as he grabbed a condom from his wallet. You sat up and unzipped his pants, pulling them down his slender legs, palming his cock through his now-tight briefs. His head lolled back as you touched him, and he whimpered your name before handing you the condom. You tore it open, before pulling his briefs down, revealing his impressive length. You rolled the condom on locking eyes as you did. You could hear his heavy breathing as he pulled you up, kissing you feverishly on the mouth before flipping you over, pulling your hips up and lining himself up with your entrance.

“Are you ready?” He said against your neck.

“Please,” You pushed back into him, and he entered you, slowly at first, but then with more fervor, holding your hips as he pushed into you repeatedly, groaning into your neck as he held your ass. You buried your face into the pillows, unable to contain the pleasure.

“I’m so fucking close,” Brian groaned into your neck, causing you to clench around him. He came at the same time as you did panting as he fell against your back, unable to move for a few minutes, basking in the pleasure you shared together. He eventually pulled out, helping you get redressed, blushing as he put his underwear back on. He looked wrecked, his neck was covered in love bites, his face flushed, hair matted in some places and unruly in others, his chest still heaving as he handed you your panties.

“Do you still need help with physics?” He almost gasped as he pulled your panties up your legs, kissing right above your belly button, looking up at you with a huge grin.

[inkskinned]

literally just a dumb unorganized list of school tips

source: im a grad student. i’ve had a lot of school. also i’m adhd & mentally ill and require +8 organization. this is mostly directed @ college students, but maybe high school students can use it too, fuck, idk, it’s been forever since i was stuck in that hell hole

just say “professor” either ur using the correct title for a person (will make them feel good) or you’re giving them a bigger title on the assumption they deserve it (which will make them feel good) and also prevents having to ever i mean ever use their names

talk at least 1 time a week in each class, aim for 1 time a day. even lecture classes. i fucking hate talking in front of more than 5 people, so what i would do is prepare a question about the hw/etc (even if i didn’t need it answered) to ask the professor after class so they saw me and got used to me and saw i was invested in their class. about 89% of teachers - if they see you try, they will pass you. i mean it’s literally that easy. i know people who went from like a c- but because they legit tried, their grade got bumped up to a b-. 

if u have to bring a laptop, pre-download the required material/screenshot it, and then turn off your wifi. it’s too easy to not listen.

physical writing will always give you more information recall over typing.

nobody cares about stupid shit anymore trust me they don’t remember that you were accidentally locked in a towel out of your room bc they have their own dumb shit that happened.... in college all the “cringe culture” turns into “god i wish that were me” culture ... wear ur onesie to a party trust me you make +800 friends and 799 of them will be girls telling you you’re adorable and they’d die for you

about locking urself out.... if ur like me and can breeze past post-it notes placed in obvious areas, don’t be a dumb bitch and rely on post-it-notes. while most schools offer 1 free lockout, dont rely on it - it once took 2 hours before someone could get to me. i was in a towel, which meant no phone. so like. anyway, what i do now is i put something on the handle of the door i have to open/unlock. i can’t just open the door w/out the thing falling down and making a loud “you dumb bitch unlock the door before u shower” sound. 

this works for all important don’t-forget it things. other obstacles i’ve used to remind myself to do something include: putting a chair with my wholeass posterboard in front of the door, an entire printer with a single piece of paper that just read “for the love of god check to be sure you have that essay”, and a recycling bin i kept forgetting to empty. guess what bitch finally emptied the bin once it was between me and a swift exit!

no offense and like the whole “it’s the best years of your life!” thing is great but in reality everything goes better scholastically when you treat it as “i came here to win, not to make friends.” i still did make friends, went to parties every weekend, was popular enough i’d be invited to several on one night - but i came there to win. when i put my scholastic life and my mental health first, i went from a 2.0 to a 3.98. yes you can, bitch.

you’re spending the money. don’t squander it. trust me when i say i know plenty of people who breeze through, bc you often can. but like. don’t. challenge yourself bc like. talk about an investment.

if you hate your major, change it. don’t make your life something you can’t stand. on that note, do NOT agree 100% to a track until you have at least some experience in the field. i cannot tell u how many ppl i know who got their whole masters/phd program done, walked into their new profession, and were like, Oh Fuck, I Can’t Live Like This.

college literally offers so many free things and if you’re not taking advantage of them whenever possible i get it but like. try to take advantage of them. this is everything from your gym (which probably has free classes dude) to clubs to like. sober events. these sober events are so ... fuckin good dude i’ve made mason jars with little plants in em... bee aviaries... candles.... go to the free stuff

oh ps on free stuff i wanna say about 4 of 5 days there’s free food on campus just look for things like job fairs, presentations, or discussion groups. also while you’re there at the job fair like. u know, go to the job fair in earnest

i took off 2 years to work and also to just. recover from my bullshit. and it took me 6 years and 3 schools to get my bachelor’s. it wasn’t easy but bitch i lived. there’s no such thing as “too long” to graduate if that’s truly what you want to do.

if on the meal plan, eat as clean as you can the first week. then introduce each part of the cafeteria’s possibly-food-poisoning-creating foods one at a time. give @ least 2 days between each experiment so you know for sure if you get sick what caused it. i literally never eat meat at school but you can still get sick off of unwashed lettuce/salad dressing that hasn’t been refrigerated properly/weirdass things you won’t even think of. this prevents like. dying in a public bathroom.

white loaf bread can be gross & boring. discount bakery section for your slightly chewy artisianal bread needs. if overstale, either toast it or dunk it into water and microwave it (unless u got an oven. use the oven if u can)

steal as many apples from the dining hall/events/etc as physically possible just do it they keep FOREVER and @ some point you’ll be like. fUCK i need a nutrition. ps if you’re keeping them in ur backpack (i wouldn’t keep more than 2) make sure to wrap w/a few paper towels so if you drop your bag you don’t get apple mush

write it all down bitch. “i’ll remember it” no you won’t. unless you are capable of remembering every idea on this list and in order, you won’t remember it. in general, if you write something 3 times, you will recall it correctly at least 80% of the time. i also read it out loud to myself, bc, you know, auditory recall

DO NOT just put your assignment at the top of your notes, unless you’re 100% sure that will work for you. in most cases, it’s much better to have a planner/agenda/place you expect to look for assignments. +7 points if you lie to yourself about deadlines and move them all up.

like not to sound too much like a DARE ad but like. if you don’t like it/don’t want it, don’t fuckin do it. the idea that “there’s nothing to do if you don’t party” is such bullshit. like i promise if you’re like “i am a grouch and want to stay in and binge netflix” about 45 ppl will show up in pjs like “bitch fullscreen it, im a grouch too.” there’s also like. the chance to just.... not overindulge. on wednesdays i have “wine wednesdays” where we sit around and drink a glass of wine while we do our hw. it’s chill and friendly instead of like. drink until u vomit. don’t feel like you either gotta slam the breaks or the gas pedal, is what i mean.

PLEASE know the signs of alcohol poisoning/overdose. most schools have a “Safety Always Matters Most” policy, which means that you can call for help w/out getting into trouble. if you think someone is in danger, act. this also goes for making sure ppl get home safe even if they’re just incapacitated, not poisoned. step in, dudes.

also just. notice when ur starting to rely on stuff too much. i’m super easily addicted to things, so i keep a healthy distance from liquor. i don’t let myself “drink to feel better” bc that’s a scary, scary thing to link to feeling better. if you or somebody u know starts drinking all the time/gets anxious if they don’t drink/drinks in the daytime .... get help. schools have counselling services for a reason.

you’re gonna get a cold/flu of some sort in the first 2 months just brace for it. in the meantime, drink vitamin c, try not to touch too many handles, and when people say “there’s something going around” believe them.

watch kaplan nike just do it 

if you can teach it, you know the material. a super good way of knowing if you studied the right way is to try and teach the material to a stuffed animal/imaginary class.

“i don’t know how to study” bitch me too the fuck. this is usually bc we’ve been taught that studying is just sitting down and staring @ ur notes. it’s not. it’s different for everyone, and you need to understand it’s 99% preventative care. if you don’t go to the class or do the homework, studying is going to fucking suck, bc you’re learning the material all at once for the first time. the place you should consider “studying” is “i’m confident in 70-90% of the material, but need to review.” do not let yourself fall behind .... just go to office hours and ask questions if ur not getting something. studying should feel like you’re remembering what you already knew but kinda forgot, not like you’ve been blindsided.

the whole “writing it down in ur own words” while u have been told this 700 times it really helps bc it means u gotta translate it through your own understanding. if you can’t, and it’s not bc the material seems too obvious to you to state in another way - ask yourself if you don’t understand the material. chances are u are missing a bit of info.

i know it’s like A Thing that Some People do but i never had the mental health points for it but i know some people just take 15 minutes after every class to review their notes. since i’m 100% early to every class ever, obnoxiously so, i try to do it before class. having the last class’s notes up in my head super helps. like. put down the phone i know you’re socially anxious me too but review those notes. chances are if u start flipping through pages other ppl will too. this is also fun bc as soon as you start this whole thing, at least one person will be like “is there a test?” no bitch there’s no test but im gonna be ready when there is!

literally so much of success is fucking posturing i could link about 800 peer-edited studies that show that when a student is expected to do well (and knows they are), they do well. like i literally didn’t change my appearance at all, never bothered to look nice (once winter hits i wear 67 layers all the time), but when i showed up after my 2 years off from school, i presented myself with the whole “i came here to win” vibe and people... really respected me? i mean in hs i remember ppl saying shit like “yeah, well, you aren’t gonna have the homework”. by the time i was in college i had an honest-to-god conversation which included someone being like “so tell me what you’re overachieving at right now” like they just expected it from me. wild.

i live by “bite off more than you can chew, and then CHEW IT” but it’s probably unhealthy. the truth is that i have a lot of energy all the time (lmao adhd!!!) and i used to get told i was “trying too hard” and for a long time (still???) i didn’t (i don’t?) know what that was, you know, bc i had a D average, clearly i wasn’t trying. it turns out i was just. putting all my energy into stuff that wasn’t making me happy like toxic friendships etc. when i decided “nope, all this energy is for me and my schoolwork”..... uhhhhh suddenly i was a golden child and everyone praised my try-hardness ... it’s a fuckt up system tbh

take at least 1 class just for fun. i try to do that every semester. it helps break up all the requirements. if you’re like an engineer and got no time or credits left to spend, try to audit your fun course.

make ur advisor love you i don’t care what it takes make them cupcakes show up to thank them i dONT CARE just do it 

the library isn’t always the best place. if i start getting anxious bc i pavlovian train myself that library=work, i find a new place to go to do hw. try to go outside if you can!!! not like where i live bc like it’s snow all the time but try. a little green really really really helps depression. 

if you’ve been in the same “Studying” place for 1 hour and haven’t done anything the chances are Something Isn’t Right. first, look @ ur body. are you not focusing bc of some pressing physical need? sometimes just taking a shower and coming back helps. are you uncomfy? are you too comfy and going to sleep? if body okay, look @ the material. do you not understand it? do you just need to switch to a new topic for a little bit? can you find a youtube video that will help you better understand it? make notes on what you don’t get so you can ask in the next class. if it’s not the material, it’s not ur bod, check the Actual Space. sometimes just getting up, going for a short walk to a new place, and trying it there actually? really works? if none of this is working.... try ur brain next. hardest to reset bc like, what, turn it on and off again? i use things like caffeine, a short workout, a nap, or a podcast all to just... give me a little boost. 

don’t be afraid to leave. i mean this about class, friend groups, and the college ur at. just get up on outta there if ur not feelin it. i cannot recommend “drop the class” enough. even if it’s a required course see if u can switch the times if u hate the professor day 3 it’s not gonna get better just get the fuCK out

don’t nap in the same position u go to sleep in, nap upside down w/ur head away from ur pillow. don’t ask me why but it works to 1. fall asleep faster 2. make sure u sleep okay at night and 3. wake up less annoyed 

on that note don’t ever do anything in ur bed in a sleeping position unless it’s genuinely sleeping in it. body will get confused. just sit up, lazybones.

when/if the library has those therapy dogs during finals week.... just go pet them make the time for it

ask before hugging people, but don’t expect a “yes”

get a backpack that fits and doesn’t hurt ur back u fuckin hippie idc how cool it is to wear ur backpack super low just don’t do it it’s not worth it

the tutoring center is a fucking goldmine.... free essay edits my dudes

bring a fan dorms are always hotter than u expect

switch dorms if u can if u realize ur in the wrong room/wrong roomate like just don’t bother with nonsense

when in doubt, follow preschool rules. tell ppl when they did something cool, just ask when u need help, and be confident even in your mistakes, because at least u tried

[megwritesfanfiction]

Kacchako Secret Santa - College AU

Hey @novocaine-sea , I was your secret santa! You gave me a challenge not being able to write fluff and writing an AU, but I hope you like it. 

That fucking fine art credit.

Katsuki wasn’t sure what sadist decided to make fine art a requirement for graduating with a business degree, but he was sure there was a special place in hell for that asshole.

His advisor suggested that he get the credit out of the way. Any fine art class he took would be an introductory level course, but he was warned that students had a nasty habit of putting it off until their last semester when they were buried in papers, internships, and projects. Though the course would be easy, the time he’d have to put into the course would be a nuisance later.

Any fine art course met for four hours once a week and required outside hours of work to complete.

Denki and Hanta signed up for Figure Drawing the moment they learned that the class came with live models for them to drool over.

Eijiro picked Creative Writing. The class ended the semester by hosting a coffee house where students in the class had to share a piece of original work they’d created during the class.

Katsuki decided he wasn’t interested in babysitting tweedledee and tweedledum while they giggled behind their drawing easels, and he wasn’t about to perform a piece of poetry in front of the theater kids and other random college students trawling for free snacks. So he’d chosen photography.

He figured all he had to do was take a couple of pictures on his phone, change the filters using one of the apps, and print them out for a grade.

The first day of class, Katsuki was hit with a startling realization when he was handed a massive supply list and an inch thick syllabus.

This wasn’t digital photography.

It was black and white film photography.

Katsuki couldn’t recall what happened in that first class, but he walked out with an assignment due for the next week. Their professor wanted them to photograph around campus to practice using the f-stop.

He wasn’t sure what an f-stop was, but he seemed to be dropping a choice “f” word every time he had to work that damn assignment.

Somehow he managed to load the camera and take the pictures.

“Do you want some help?”

Katsuki’s head popped up, teeth gnashed together in frustration as his fingernails dug into the metal top of the roll of film. “What?”

“Um,” the girl cringed. Slowly lowering the physics textbook in her hands, her chestnut eyes stared pointedly at the roll of film in his hand. “I think you need some help.”

He hadn’t noticed her sitting across the room, stool scooted next to the door and belongings scattered across the table. “I don’t need your damn help,” he growled, nails digging at the top of the film again. “I can print this shit on my own.”

“You mean process.”

“Same fucking thing.”

“Actually,” she started, folding her arms across her chest. “It’s not.” Brown eyes drifted back to the tube of the film in his hands as she frowned. “You need to process the film so you have negatives so you can then develop the film in the dark room.

Katsuki blinked, hands stilling as his brow wrinkled in confusion, “Fucking what?”

She shook her head, “Are you gonna let me help you or what?”

“It’s your time, not mine.”  

“Um, yeah, I get paid whether I help you or watch you struggle-”

His eyes widened at her tone.

“So, answer me nicely or I’ll go back to my physics homework and let you ruin your film.” She rested an elbow on the table, shooting him an unapologetic stare. “Got it?”

“You don’t have to be such a bitc-”

Her eyes narrowed.

“Yeah,” he scoffed, tossing the roll of film on the counter. “I obviously don’t know what the fuck I’m doing so some help would be nice.”

“Okay then,” she nodded, closing her textbook and hopping off the stool. “I’m Uraraka Ochako by the way.” She walked over to the counter he’d been working at, pulling a box from one of the shelves above.

He stepped to the side, watching her. “Bakugo Katsuki.”

“Alright Bakugo,” Ochako placed a tube of film in front of each of them. “First thing, if you open your tube of film out here the lights are gonna ruin it and you’ll have to retake all your pictures.”

“What am I supposed to do then?”

“We have a room that is completely pitch black that allows you to safely open your roll of film and transfer it to the drum.” She picked up a black container, opening it up to reveal an empty reel for the film.

Katsuki looked from the unopened tube of film she’d set in front of him to the empty reel. “How the am I going to do that without being able to see?”

“Well,” she started, picking up her roll. “We’re going to practice it in the light with these rolls, and then we’re going to take your film into the dark room and place it on the roll.”

“This is fucking ridiculous.”

“Yeah, well,” she snorted, shoulders shrugging unsympathetically. “You signed up for the class under your own free will.”

“I needed the fine art credit!” Katsuki couldn’t help but wonder if it was too late to withdraw from the class and find something easier to stomach.

Writing poetry wouldn’t be so terrible...

“I’ll tell you this, it gets easier the more you do it.”

He snorted, “Says the photography major.”

“Astronomy with a minor in art actually-”

Katsuki’s brows furrowed trying to connect the dots between her interests.  

“Okay, so your materials-” She placed several items in front of her. “In the dark room, there is a light in there that will be on when we get started. You wanna lay out your tools first, so that way in the dark you can just find everything. We have our scissors, can opener, developing tank-that should be open and taken apart so your reels are ready-and our film. So I want you to do everything I do, got it?”

“Yeah.”

“Alright, first we pop open the lid on the film,” she told him taking the can opener and opening the side of the film easily. “Your turn.”

Katsuki rolled his eyes, popping the lid off as she had done.

“Great!” Ochako smiled. “Remember it’s going to be the flat end-”

“I got it.”

“Okay next we take the film out, so you wanna feel for this curved edge and we wanna cut this part off cause it will be easier to put on the reel,” she instructed, running her fingers along the curved edge of the film.

“How the hell do I keep myself from cutting my damn pictures?”

“By feeling,” she repeated. “Feel the edge so you can get into practice.”

“This is so fucking stupid.” He obediently ran his finger along the edge of the curved piece of the film then cutting as she’d said.

“You picked it,” she cut the edge of her film. “Okay so now we have to place it on the reel. This is gonna be tricky. So you have to line up the film so it goes through the notches and then turn them back and forth. You’re gonna hear a shuffling sound, kinda a clicking too.” She wound her film, watching as he did the same. She looked over at him, smiling brightly.

Katsuki ignored the rosy tint of her cheeks.

“Next, we place this in the developer tank, and make sure that it’s locked tight! Because after it’s in the tank you have to come back out here to that workstation.” Her head tilted toward the sink across from them. “That’s where you add the chemicals to develop your negatives. They have all the steps with the chemistry on a poster. It’s not too bad.”   

At the moment, Katsuki disagreed.

“Alright,” Ochako grinned up at him, setting her tank on the counter. “You ready?”

“No,” he told her sourly.

“Well, that’s too bad.”

His eyes narrowed.

“Come on let’s go,” she picked up an empty developer tank, a can opener, and a pair of scissors before walking to the black revolving door.  

“Tch.” He snatched his film, shuffling toward her and stepping on the platform.

“I’d suggest you make a friend in class to do this with, but-”

Over his dead body.

“I don’t think that’s really your style,” she smirked, pulling on the sliding door. “Okay, the first opening in the developing room and that’s after you have your negatives and-” Ochako pulled again coming to a dark space. “This room is for you to load your film to the reel.” She reached into the room, tugging on a silver chain and causing the small room to flood with a dim red light. “This light is supposed to be less harmful, but it will still ruin your film.”

They stepped off of the platform and into the small room. It was no bigger than a closet and only contained a small table mounted against the short wall.

“Okay,” she dropped the things on the table. “Get yourself set up and let me know when you’re ready.” Her fingers hooked around the chain above him as she looked to him with a nod.

“Whatever, just turn out the damn light so I can get this over with,” Katsuki grumbled, throwing his back against the wall.

She frowned, eyes drifting to the scattered supplies on the table, “Alright then.” With a quick flick of her wrist, darkness surrounded them. “Let me know when you have your film secured in the reel and I’ll turn the lights back on.”

They weren’t kidding when they said dark room. “Is it going to be this damn dark when I develop the fucking pictures?” he grumbled, placing his hands in front of him as he felt for the table.

“No,” she chuckled.

He could hear the crinkle of discarded film beneath her tennis shoes as she shifted.

“It will be dark, but not pitch black like this.”

Grunting, he nodded as his hands fumbled for the bottle opener. Katsuki secured his roll of film and the bottle opener in each hand. His thumb traced the top of the film feeling for the smooth end as he’d watched her do in the light before removing the cap quickly. The film uncurled into his hand with a light clink.

“Good you got the film out!”

“How the fuck did you know?”

She laughed, “When you spend enough time in here you don’t need your eyes.”

“Yeah, well it would be nice to fucking see,” he grumbled, feeling the spirals of film fall between his fingers.

“You need to find and clip off the curve.”

Easier said than done. “I’m trying.” His fingers frantically moved between the now tangled mess of film as he fought to find the end. Katsuki was able to feel the end where the little roll was but the beginning eluded him. The film tangled around his forearms as his hands fumbled for the beginning. “Stupid piece of-the fuck!”

“Sorry!” Her hands released his wrists as she took a step away. “I didn’t want you to tear your film so I was going to help you untangle it.” Ochako gingerly placed her hands on his wrists to still him. The tips of her fingers slid down to his hands, coming to rest at his pulse points.

“Your fucking hands are rough,” he grunted, ignoring how nice it felt having her small hands around his. His eyes drifted closed as he lost himself in the feel of her hands over his skin, holding still as she slowly removed the film from his hold.

“When you do this,” her voice was low as she took a little step closer to him, the front of her shoes brushing against his toes. “You wanna be careful to catch your film before it spills out.”

He snorted as she removed the last piece of film. “Good to know.”

“It is.”

“Okay hold out your hands.”

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

Katsuki huffed, placing his palms out in front of him, staring into the blackness ahead. “Whatever.” His lips twisted and his stomach fluttered, feeling one of her hands grab the top of his hand.

“Alright,” she muttered softly. “Here is the the edge of the film.” Her other hand placed the curved edge at the center of his palm. A rough patch on her fingertips lingered as she pulled her hand away from him.

“How the hell did you find it so fast?” he mumbled, face heating from her touch.

“Practice,” she snickered, removing her hand at the bottom. “Now, I want you to pick up the scissors and cut the curved end off. I’m going to hold my fingers at where you’re going to cut.”

Katsuki’s hand fumbled along the table as he searched for the scissors she dropped earlier. “Got ‘em,” he announced.

“Alright.” She took his free hand, moving it to feel where she had two fingers sandwiching the film. “Cut there.”

He moved the scissors close to her fingers, feeling their knuckles bump, “Move your fingers.”

“No just place the blades next to my fingers.”

“Move your damn fingers.”

“Just make the cut.”

“I don’t need you bleeding all over my damn film.”

“I’m not gonna bleed all over your film,” she huffed, firmly taking the wrist holding the scissors. “You know where my fingers are, so you aren’t going to cut me.”

Katsuki growled.

“Plus those scissors aren’t sharp enough to cut through flesh, so….” Ochako grabbed his wrist, moving it to where she held the film. “Cut.”

He brought his hand to her arm that held the film, tugging her closer to him. The scent of her hair tickled his senses as his thumb crept over her hand, brushing over her fingers as he felt for the scissor blades. “Hold still,” he grunted.

“You’re not gonna cut me.” He didn’t need the light to see her rolling her eyes at him.

The side of the blade bumped the tips of his fingers. He cut the edge of the film.

“See.” Her voice tipped up in his direction.

“Don’t fucking look at me like that.” Katsuki hadn’t realized the error of his words until they spilled from his lips. Feeling something bump the front of his chest, he looked down at the blackness as he narrowed his eyes.

“Well, your new found sight will come in handy with this next step huh?”

Katsuki’s smirk was concealed by the darkness.

[thequeenofcronuts]

Uncertainties - Tales of the Past Flashback 1

Tales of the Past Flashback 1 - Flashback to the group during Spring Term at USC

AU Summary - Career life is busy for a group of six friends when they meet a captivating woman with a beautiful soul. New friendships are forged and new romances revealed. All the while hearts are torn and closets are cleared of skeletons. True love always wins in the end, right?

AU Warnings - This Stand Alone will include the following 18+ subjects: Language, NS*W, Verbal Abuse, and Abortion. If ANY of these subjects will cause pain or hardship in reading, please skip reading Uncertainties. That being said, each chapter will include its own specific warnings.

AU Uncertainties Pairings and Characters: Drake x Riley /  Liam x Riley  /  Liam x Olivia  / Drake x Olivia / Maxwell x Savannah, including Hana, and Madeleine, and OCs

Tags @client-327 @dcbbw @carabeth @drakesensworld @purplegreyshrimp

Tales of the Past Flashback 1 Summary - Take a look back at memories the group share from their Spring Term, Freshman Year at the University of South California 

Tales of the Past Flashback 1 Warnings - NS*W, Language 18+. By reading this you consent that you are 18+

Chapter Word Count: 5,000 give or take

**All characters from the Choices Book: The Royal Romance are owned by Pixelberry Studios (Any other characters are the product of my brain…I probably should apologize now. 🙃😉)

Olivia and Liam are sitting out on the grass in the quad, soaking in the sunshine, while studying for their Spring midterms. Well, she's studying for her last exam while Liam is writing an essay. “I can't fucking believe for a History course your midterm is not an exam but writing an essay.” Liam gives her a wry smile. “Not my fault you chose to take Hell- manities, aka Humanities, this semester. You know that prof’s intention is to make as many of his students fail as he can.” Olivia scoffs. “My guess is the old man takes it out on us because he’s not getting any. His cringe worthiness is like a 20 out of 10, while his sexual attraction is so low it can't even be measured. Liam is lost in a sea of laughter while he falls backward onto the grass. “True enough, Olivia. From what I’ve heard from Drake he hates the prof as much as you do.” “Walker is a dumb ass, but for once he is correct in his description of the prof as the ‘Professor of Rapacious Evil’. I would feel sorry for the prof’s wife, but I don't have it in me. Her choice after all.” Liam looks up at the blue sky. “You know Olivia, we really can be big assholes.” “Meh,” Olivia shrugs, “It’s all apart of the college experience.”

It's quiet between them for awhile, campus life swirling around them, when finally Olivia clears her throat causing Liam to look up into her deep emerald eyes. “So Liam. I kinda need to tell you something and I’m not sure how you’ll react.” She takes a breath. “During the Midterm party at your guy’s frat house I slept with someone.” She looks trying to read his expression but gets nothing. After a moment Liam does a very tiny shrug. “Well I’m not saying I’m thrilled, but we have agreed not to be exclusive, and we’ve only been together since a few days before Thanksgiving Break. And come on, Olivia, it was a frat party after all.” Liam quirks a brow and chuckles, but she lowers her eyes. “Well, there's a bit more. The rest of the story is it was with Drake. I really fucked up Liam.” She pauses. “Ok, maybe that was the wrong phrase to use. Anyway Liam, how pissed are you?” Liam does swallow hard before answering, “Ok, so now I’m really beyond not thrilled at this point, but I know you two were…active most of last semester.” He looks back up the sky for a minute.

“Olivia, the six of us have only known each other since the beginning of the year, which obviously isn't that long, yet we all have become rather close quickly. We do spend all of our free time together. Hell, I think Maxwell and Savannah may actually be very serious already. If we were in a different stage in our relationship then this conversation is quite different. Right now you're not leading me on and Drake and I aren't in some backstabbing competition.” Liam leans up and gives her a sweet kiss on the cheek. She can finally look him in the eyes. “You know Liam, I’ve honestly come to hate him over these last couple months. He's an egotistical jerk who acts like it pains him to be around, I guess, anything.” 

She looks out over the quad with a frown on her face. “I can see your point,” Liam lays back on the ground again as he plucks a blade of grass turning it over in his fingers, “but as Maxwell and I are getting to know him more it seems that it might not be his ego so much that holds him back. There may be something else.” She gives him an over exaggerated sigh. “Well think what you want, I’ll just keep on hating him, a lot.” He laughs at her matter of fact tone. “What's so funny over there, Rys?” “Olivia, you find so much joy in pushing all of Drake's buttons. You really are a certain brand of evil when it comes to him, and if I wasn't getting to know you better, I’d be scared.” She flops down on the grass next to him and takes his hand, he chuckles as their eyes meet and gives her hand a gentle squeeze. “"No matter, Liam, I blame what happened during party on alcohol. Lots, and lots of alcohol.”

A few days later Olivia and Liam are in the dining halll for lunch. “Olivia,” Liam said over the chatter of the dining hall. “The Humanities exam is only three days away. You're going to have to put your pride aside and ask him to help you study for this exam. Only you two, out of the six of us, are in Humanities this semester. It could be, ummmm, let me think a moment.” he shoots her a devilish grin. “It could be a very….cathartic experience for you and this certain Humanities classmate.” As he finishes her eyes spit daggers into his soul and she hisses, “You know, you’ve been finding way too much joy in toying with me about all this.” Liam cocks his head, “Well, my minx, can you blame me? You have to admit we both benefit immensely when you’re all riled up.” He wiggles his brows at her. “Fine. Yes it is hot and amazing when I’m riled up.” He kisses her with a growl while those around their table look up and stare. “It seems, Liam, we agree on our stance when it comes to PDA, but back to the matter at hand. It's not all about pride in needing help for the exam. Around our small group of friends he’s using innuendo as his ammo to push my buttons all the time now, and it sucks.” With her arms crossed, and jaw clenched she looks expectedly at Liam for his response. “Well Olivia, what can I say? Karma’s a bitch. Look, just study together and pass your exam, okay. You need your GPA this semester to be better than last, or my little minx won't still be on campus with me Sophomore year.” His kisses her on the cheek and spots Drake, he waves him over.

“Hey Drake, we were just talking about you. Come on over and sit with us.” Olivia kicks Liam hard under table as Drake looks at them both, shrugging, while turning his eyes to Olivia menacingly.  “Heh, sure, thanks. So what's up with you two on this fine afternoon?” Drake asks as he sits. Liam glances at Olivia out of the corner of his eye as he answers, “Oh not much. We’re just sitting hear eating lunch and talking about midterms, especially Olivia's Humanities exam.” She would have Liam incinerated into ash that very second, just by one look, if at all possible. “Thank god all I have left that Hell-manities exam.” Drake looks at the textbook next to him and winces.

“Yeah, Olivia was talking about needing a study partner for that one, thinking two classmates getting ready for the exam would help out both.” Her eyes bore into Liam while Drake gives him a smirk as he replies, “Why the hell not? It's going to be a bitch of an exam, so sharing notes sounds good. My night class tomorrow doesn't get out until after the library and Student Union close. We can study in the lounge of our frat house. Those sorority girls in your house can't ever stop squealing or squeeing or whatever the hell you all call it.” Drake takes a bite of his burger and Liam slaps him on his shoulder. “Sounds like you and Olivia have a plan. Well, we’re off. See you later Drake.” When Liam and Olivia reach her sorority house she grabs him by the arm yanking him to halt. “So help me Liam, if you weren't so sexy and good in bed I’d wrap my hands around your neck and choke you hard right here.” Liam chuckles. “Oh Olivia, promises, promises.

The next night she is sitting in the lounge of the guy’s frat house simmering heading quickly into full on fuming. All the pool tables are being used by drunken guys and girls, liquor flowing, and couples are making out everywhere. Included Maxwell and Savannah which causes Olivia to visibly cringe. Finally Drake shows up finishing off some fries. “You went on a stroll for food after class while I’ve been sitting here in an ocean of morons?!” “Hey, the body and brain need fuel. So, shall we?” “Fine,” she sighs. “Let's just get this over with as fast as possible.” “Well, well, Olivia,” he pauses for effect, “I’ve never heard you say that to me, ever.” He raises an eyebrow and smirks. ‘I so want to slap you right now’. She stands to leave when she remembers, ‘I have to pass this exam, it’s almost fifty percent of the entire semester grade. Fuck.’ “Walker, just shut the fuck up and study.” 

With that she takes a seat again while they pull out their notes. Not long after Olivia realizes that Drake is actually smarter than she had originally pegged him to be. Definitely takes better, more detailed notes. ‘Shit, I really am going to need his damn notes and explanations for this exam.’ After about a half an hour later they can't even hear each other thanks to the college night life buzzing around them.  So Drake nods to upstairs with Olivia shaking her head vehemently. ‘But…Shit, I really need to pass this course. My GPA has to be better to stay in the Sorority House next year. Fuck.’ They reach Drake's room. “Door.stays.open. Walker.” Drake throws his hands up in surrender. “That was my plan.”

Studying for about forty-minutes the antics out in the hall are just as bad as they are downstairs. Drake gets up to shut the door but before he latches it closed he turns to her, “Would you rather leave?” ‘I so hate myself right now.’ “No. I’ve noticed how shit my notes are.” He shuts the door and she eyes his every move suspiciously. “For gods sake I’m not a jackoff. I never have nor ever will take advantage or force something on anyone. You even told me you remember your ‘yes’ this past party.” Drake says wholeheartedly meaning it all,  and she knows it's true. He wouldn't ever. “I know it, Drake.” But he does decide, however, to use this time to pay her back for the comment she made about him yesterday loudly in the crowded Student Union. “You just forgot I know how act appropriately with ladies because you never, ever told me ‘no’. You only screamed ‘yes’.” Her jaw clamped. “Is it not true, Miss?” ‘Oh I hate him.’ “That was low. I really do hate you Drake Walker. Actually I hate you even more.” “Guess that answers my question.” ‘After what she had said yesterday and the look on her face right now, yep. Worth it.’

She takes a few minutes to string together sentences of all curse words she can think up directing them at him, then sits back down. ‘Oh so totally worth it. Epic win. Put one the scoreboard board far Drake Walker.’ It takes her a bit, but she finally listens as he describes various art techniques and their major time periods. ‘How does remember all this?!’ “When in the nine hells did you actually get smart, Walker?” It has to be some sort of accident. Did you get your head pounded by another frat guy and it resulted in this miracle?!” Seething, “I’m not just a dumb piece of shit, you know Olivia!” ‘Hmmm, his intelligence, that was a fun button to push. I’ll remember that one.’ “Oh just shut up Olivia. Let's finish the art section and skip the western culture section. Then you can show yourself out.” “Fine.” She yelled. “Fine.” He yelled back. And before either knew it their lips were crashing together with Olivia’s hands grasping his shaggy brown hair. Like so many times before he slid her onto his lap first, as their tongues danced, his hands sliding up her thighs landing on her waist. And like every time before he stopped to asked her. And like every time before she answered with a yes.

He trails kisses from her shoulder blade, up her neck, across her jaw and their lips met again. She runs her tongue along his bottom lip, and as he opens his mouth his hands started to wander under her shirt moving up her stomach going up to… and then she goes tense and completely froze. Drake immediately stops looking at her for an answer. ‘I will not be some girl flitting between men. Especially when I actually care about a really good man. Done. Over.’ “No more. Not tonight, not ever Walker. I’m done. So many months wasted on you. Those months were all about living the freedom of college in my first semester. But that's it. That's all it was and ever will be, nothing.” Olivia gets up and gathers her things. ‘Fuck. Ouch Olivia. That was all it was? Damn.’ “Whatever Olivia. Whatever makes yourself feel better. Funny how it meant nothing, oh how many months later!” Drake is yelling while Olivia walks to the door. With her hand on the door nob she looks back. “What the hell has been wrong with me all these months.” ‘Oh no, you don't get walk out the door with that being the last words.’ Drake shrugs. “Great sex is great sex, friends with benefits?” They both look at each other for a long time, having an unspoken escalating argument. Finally Drake spits out, “See you Friday night when the group celebrates the end of midterms.” Olivia rubs her temples and answers in complete frustration. “Yes. See you then. We both care about all of our friends, Drake.” ‘Unfortunately, Walker, you have to be there.’ One last glare at each other. “But you and I, Drake, we will never be friends.” ‘Couldn't agree more.’ “Neither one of us would want to. Now get out of my room.” Olivia stomps out and slams the door.

As soon as she's out of Drake's room she heads down the hall to Liam's and pounds on the door. He opens it and she shoves him hard back into the room. He can't help but laugh at the look on her face. “I take it the study session went well?” Not saying a word she drops her things to the floor and slams the door shut. Liam quirks an eyebrow and before he can move she pushes him down on the bed crawling on top of him, straddling him as she immediately starts to unbutton his shirt tugging on it until she unfastens the last button. Liam sits up to shrug it off while Olivia grabs the hem of his undershirt pulling it off before he's even gotten the first shirt off. She pushes him back down, while he starts to speak, “Trust me, I’m not complaining but wh-“ Her lips are on his before he can finish. Her nails dig into his shoulders while his tongue runs over her bottom lip. She invites him in, soon tongues wrestling for dominance. Liam grabs her ass squeezing hard enough she yelps into his mouth. He loves that. His hands travel slowly up her hips, up her stomach and cup her breast while she begins to grind her hips on his. She pulls herself back up and throws her shirt to ground while he unfastens her bra which hits the ground as well.

Liam lavishes one breast nibbling and sucking on its bud until it's a hard peak, while he massages and twists the other. A moan rolls off her lips and he takes it as a sign to move to her other breast. Her taste drives him to wanting so.much.more. In an instant Liam is making quick work of the button and zipper of her jeans, sliding a hand down her pants rubbing her folds trough her panties. “You are so fucking wet for me.” Her eyes meet his as she responds in authoritative tone, “Up now. Time to get these pants off.” They stand and he slides her jeans and panties down while she uses his shoulder for balance kicking them off. She unbuttons and unzips his jeans then stands back, watching him pull them and his boxer briefs off.

Liam’s eyes rake her up and down, “Damn you're sexy. I can never get tired of seeing you like this.” Olivia just gives him a wicked grin as she slowly drops to her knees in front of him placing her hand around his hardened length, stroking it a few times before taking him into her mouth. “Shit.” Liam's head falls back as her tongue circles around his tip tasting the little bit that's already escaped him. He grabs a hold of her hair as her lips firmly surround him while moving him in and out. She lets out a deep moan against him as she moves. “Fuck, babe!” Liam begins to buck his hips while she takes him in fully. He feels himself hitting the back of her throat, while in his mind cursing and thanking at the time. ‘Not going to make it much longer if she doesn't stop this.’ He looks down and barely gets out with a husky voice. “Olivia, I,” he moans “You have to stop.” She looks up at him trough hooded eyes and he knows she isn't planning on stopping.

He gently starts pulling her back. She sighs against him one last time and lets go with a pop. “Liam, if you're stopping me from this you better do one hell of a job.” He whispers back, “I accept your challenge.” He grabs a condom while Olivia makes the decision to rest on her knees with her elbows down on the mattress. Liam turns and lets out a primal growl as his tongue meets her folds. Her breath hitches as he licks up to her nub while pushing a finger into her dripping wetness. He nibbles the sensitive spot with gentle pressure and circles it with his tongue. He slides in a second finger and moves them both back and forth. “Shit Liam, more! Now!” He sucks her harder as his slides in the third finger curling them just right reaching that spot which makes her knees weak. She arches her back and pushes herself into him. “Fuck! I’m…C…“ She yells his name and it's the best sound in his life. He gives her a moment while rubbing soft circles on her back. “Enjoy, a breath for a minute baby. We’re not finished.”

Waiting he licks and sucks his fingers clean as he strokes himself a few times before grabbing her hips sliding in his solid length. He waits a second as they adjust saying each other's name then he immediately starts with a hard thrust. He hears her throaty voice, “My, my. Impatient aren't we?” That’s all it takes for him to grab her hips firmly and thrust harder rocking back and forth as she moans his name over and over. They hit their rhythm and she pants “Harder Liam! Give me hard now! I need more of you!” ‘Shit, I’m barely hanging on as it is.’ Their skin slaps together as he reaches one hand around to wet his finger drawing tantalizing circles around her nub as he continues to thrust harder and harder. “Fuck Liam! Just…a…little…more...I’m, I’m-“ he begins to feel her grip around him start to tighten. “Liam, oh fuck. YES!” He sloppily thrusts twice more while she completely unravels. He stops holding himself back finding his own release. He smirks proudly as Olivia screams his name once more while they both ride out their waves of passion.

Soon they are falling onto the bed. Olivia grabs him close and lays her head on his chest as they work to slower their breaths while laying in their euphoria. “So, did I do one hell of a job? Enough to win your challenge?” Liam chuckles kissing the top of her head. “My god yes! I’ll happily lose that challenge to mind blowing sex any day. But, I don't lose other challenges.” He laughs as she kisses his chest and begins mindlessly running circles around his strong abs, while he looks at the ceiling twirling a piece of her long vibrant red hair around his fingers. Suddenly Olivia remembers the words she heard earlier “…Great sex is great sex. Friends with benefits?…” She raises to an elbow looking deep into Liam’s crystal sea blue eyes. “You know Liam, mind blowing is far superior to great.” He looks at her completely confused. “Just trust me here, babe. Mind blowing is so fucking superior to just great.” She smirks as she lays back down again resting her head on his chest. “Liam” she says into his chest with a kiss. “Yes babe?” “I think we should start seeing each other exclusively.” A few seconds later he kisses the top of her head and she can feel his smile. “Mmmmm, I like this decision of yours. A lot.”

A few weeks later after Spring Break, Maxwell, Olivia, and Drake are sitting in the Student Union waiting for Hana, Savannah, and Liam to show for their night out to celebrate the group’s reunion. While hanging out there Maxwell tilts his head to Olivia and wiggles his eyebrows, “I hear you and Liam are officially exclusive. Awesomeness!!! Now you guys can double with me and Savannah!” Olivia rolls eyes and flatly responds, “Oh, yay.” Maxwell smiles, “I know, right? It will be epic!” Drake sits back somewhat amused by the interaction. “Yeah, you four should start planning your first double date tonight.” Then he mumbles something about someone under his breath as quietly as he can, but Olivia notices. “Why Drake, are you jealous?” He is completely unfazed knowing she's just trying to push his buttons. Maxwell, on the other hand, grins from ear to ear. “Oh trust me Olivia, and let me assure you, he is most certainly not jealous. If Drake was actually under any kind of spell of your’s it's been bro-“ Drake snaps at him, “Beaumont! Why the hell are we celebrating tonight being back here for just more classes? Only you would think of something so ridiculous.” Maxwell looks over shaking his head, “This is about the six of us being back together after spring break, man. We gotta catch up.” Drake tilts his head backwards and shuts his eyes. “It was only a little over a week for gods sake.”

Olivia catches the extra sour tone in Drake’s voice. “I didn't know you could get any grumpier, Walker. What exactly is your extra problem? Are you going to continue to be such an ass all night? Staying away while radiating your extra bit of chilly venom.” Drake doesn't answer, but yet again Maxwell does. “He’s just pissed on an missed opportunity. Possibly a chance of a lifetime.” Maxwell is so focused on Olivia he doesn't register the rising anger on Drake’s face. “Ok, Olivia, so check this out. So you know how Drake stayed here over break and I got back a little earlier than the rest of you? We were in one of campus books stores, you know this campus has way too many all over the-,” “Focus Maxwell, and get this Walker story over with as fast as possible.” Olivia crosses her arms. ‘Ok, focusing and speed talking initiated. So me and Drake we’re chilling out in the book store when I see my old pal here intently staring off to something a few aisles over. I follow his line of sight and saw what he was checking out. His eyes were completely locked on this girl. I mean not blinking, breath hitching sort of thing. Anyway, while we all know that I have the lady love of my life, I’ll admit she was quite stunning. Long raven black hair, porcelain white skin, and these really deep piercing blue eyes. Drake's feet were glued to the floor when she moved to us and starts to look at the books next to him. I of course step out of the way, but not Drake here, he still can't move. So he’s standing like crazy still as she looks up to him to say excuse me or probably something like that, except she stops and stares at him. Complete radio silence. Eventually, I clear my throat and they snap out of their trance while I smoothly walk away, as you know how I do. So I buy my stuff and head outside to wait for Drake. While waiting I see the girl walkout with this huge smile and this dreamy look in those piercing blues. Suddenly, though, she stops in her tracks looking back to the store bewildered. I thought maybe she just forgot something, and I didn't even really think much about it as she leaves. She's gone when Drake walks out and I see he has nothing in his hands, totally forgotten to get what he needed to buy. Except Drake had a gigantic smile on his face. For real, Olivia, I had no idea a shit-eating grin was possible for our guy here. I figure he at least he found something in there, even if he forgot what he needed to buy.” Maxwell winks, “So I asked him to spill. And get this Olivia, come to find out he was so lost in her beauty he totally choked, like in the worst way. No name, no phone number, no dorm or sorority information. He was so lost in loveydovey-land all functioning abilities went out of his mind. He’s been extra grumpy, brooding, and not going anywhere or talking anyone since. He’s got it bad for her, but we have no idea who she is. But he did tell me that they’d talked the whole time after I left, feeling like there was mutual interest, and from what I saw when she walked out that store I’d completely agree. I’m a believer in love at first sight, enter my lady love into the story again, but if this girl had just stood there like a minute longer or if he had walked out a minute sooner, bam. He’d have a different story to tell right now.”

Drake was sitting with arms crossed, jaw clenched, and his lips pressed in a hard thin line. Finally he spoke, “You know I’ve actually been sitting here the whole time Maxwell. And furthermore, Beaumont, do you ever take a breath when talking, or even better yet, do you ever shut the fuck up?!” Olivia looks at Drake shaking her head. “Way to go dipshit. Try to find her again on a campus with around 20,000 undergrads, and that doesn't account for the number of graduate students either. Good luck with what sounds like the screwup of lifetime. She's the one that got away before you were close enough for her to get away.” Maxwell cuts in with, “Well, with what I saw, I’d venture to say he stared long enough he could definitely pick her out of a lineup, or better yet work with one of those sketch artist for a ‘Have you seen this girl?’ poster.” Olivia can't stop herself, doubled over in wild laughter, while Drake stands up with a force so intense the big bulky armchair he was sitting in moved a bit across the floor. Then shoving his hands in his pockets he picks a wall to sulk against.

Finally Liam, Savannah, and Hana show up; along with another girl. Hugs and kisses were given all around, except for Drake. They all felt an aura of something between rage, frustration, and “leave me the hell alone” radiating strongly off him. Hana introduced everyone to Allison, who she was set up with for a blind date over break. With everyone finally there Maxwell directs the group onward to his club of choice, and once there the couples hit the dance floor as Drake finds a table in a corner for the night. He never was one that went out of his way to dance, but he definitely would with any girl that caught is eye. Uncharacteristically, though, this night he wasn't looking for any random girls to dancing with, and he wasn't there too long before he let his friends know he was heading back to campus calling it a night. Which of course Olivia took advantage of and starting to call him “grandpa” at every chance she got everyday afte

A few months later, Spring Term is finished, bringing the group the end of their Freshman year. They all decide to stay on campus together for the Summer Semester to have a stellar time doing everything college kids can think up to do. And damn did they make the most of their freedom. Liam and Olivia had taken a short trip right after exams were over, but back in a few days. Maxwell and Savannah basically lived together most of the summer, while Liam and Olivia out right lived with each other. Hana and Allison were adorable together and Alli fit in with the group extremely well. Most surprising to everyone though was that Liam and Olivia actually enjoyed spending time with Maxwell and Savannah. Savannah was so much fun and just lovely, but if Maxwell were to survive the summer, Olivia could only take meeting up with them in small doses.

Drake, however, chose to take a course over the summer which everyone else thought was crazy, but it kept him busy. With his course work he wasn't around the group as much, but he did join them for their antics when he could. They all noticed, though, that he hadn't gotten out of that funk he’d been in since spring break; but honestly he had always been the curmudgeon of the group.

And like that, Sophomore Year found them.

[romanceinthevice]

Early Refills for the Lonely Girl’s Soul

Chapter One: “Life Skills to Kill”

“The tide is high but I’m holding on.”

And the tide is made up of 75 (edit: 80mg actually, they allowed me an increase today) milligrams of thick Methadone that runs a marathon through my bloodstream. It always wins the race for nothing. It’s all for big nothing.

Welcome to the static years. I’ll be your unreliable narrator with a heart of a darkness. Did anyone else read that in University English-lit? I couldn’t get through that book. Then again, I could barely get through campus mid semester.

Die with the lie? (Insert French for yes)

I’m questionable at best. And a terrible fake crier at worst. I need my Methadone every morning or I think about stabbing the walls of my apartment. I need my coffee for the ride to the clinic or I think about crying in the middle of the parking lot. Middle-class tragedy. Spoiled since day one. I NEED. I NEED. I NEED. I need you to read this.

My death wishes used to be bad-girl-charming at 22. Cute in that worried type of way. “She’s such a mess, isn’t it fabulous? I just love how complicated Cat makes everything.” Fast forward three psychiatrists, two evictions, one overdose and a series of voided lovers. Currently they’re just a broken record of empty. No! Really! I look in the mirror and regret it instantly. These days I see right through my own smoke and static; the attempts to distract my social circle from the rattling pharmacy bottles. There’s not enough black lipstick to mute a friend who cares. But there should be. (MAC, take note.)

Mirror mirror on the wall, who’s the shameful of them all.

You are. You really are.

End of Chapter One

But maybe it’s mandatory for an author to have a loud reputation. You know what?A writers persona should be shrouded in rumors anyway. Fuck it. The checkered past. An affair with their professor. Or maybe their student. A secret arrest during the holidays years back. Maybe a forgotten relative with unfinished business. A hit and run inspired by Johnny Walker Red. A blood soaked sweater in the back of their closet to remember.

I have convinced myself that every writer deserves a notoriety to keep the masses at arms length. My, my, my, the mystery!

But the troubled-addict-writer is a cliche. And writers hate cliches. But writers also hate themselves.

Well, the good ones do anyway. What? Too far? And where was I before I launched a tangent of misplaced-poor me-bullshit?

Mmmmm. Methadone. My clinic has the pink kind.

I’m not the only one hurting myself, I tell myself over and over.

I think about how dramatic I’m trying to be, wanting to sound right and profoundly right at that. I feel like a bad actress in a dying career resurrecting a classic play. No need for an encore. Just cut. Besides there’s an after-party that I need to disappear into for eight hours.

I hate introducing myself in the first blog. Anything I write feels like the wrong thing. It’s so forced, I’m convinced no one knows themselves that well. Especially not I. Isn’t it better to keep a distance? Perhaps we can be strangers who make prolonged eye contact across the room.

Hi, I’m Cat. I feel like I just moved here. (Wherever here is.) I don’t know how to describe myself without comparing myself to the status quo. So, shallow generalizations about women, here I come!

Most girls find peace in an afternoon of shopping. Or make-up at Ulta. They get lost in the aisles and yell funny remarks to their friends about fashion sensitive culture. Maybe I’m jealous. And by maybe, I mean, absolutely.

Or perhaps They stalk their ex’s social media for clues about them, as if they were solving a murder. A new Facebook friend? An instagram story that makes no sense? It’s not adding up now, but it will. Oh, it will. By the way, who the fuck is Alicia and why are you tagging her?

I’ve always been sicker than the others.i win! Damnit. As the in crowd of seventh grade used to call it, I am “fuckin’ weird, no offense.”

“None taken” I nodded back taking a knee during gym class.

I do like to shop, although always by myself in the lonelier corners of shopping centers. And duh! I stalk many lucky persons on a semi-regular basis. It’s the American way at this point, I do it for my country. But on top of these typical hobbies of the expected feminine divine, I’m orbiting a different side of town. The side that no one thinks to go to for good reason; it smells weird and has no relevance to most standards of living.

Bare with me.

I’m a curious party. I’m also a drug addict in the harshest way. The combination of these two factors equal my favorite hobby; reading pharmacology research papers. Yes, sir. complete with abstracts and hypothesis that outlines the right balance of factual accuracy. Gets me giddy just thinking about it!

I like knowing what the new, FDA approved antidepressants are categorized as. And why they aren’t as good as Prozac. But better than Paxil. And less harmful to the female orgasm. Ladies, you know what I mean. It’s a cruel game when you finally stop thinking suicidal thoughts but suddenly can’t orgasm. God is really a piece of work. A sexist piece of work, come to think of it.

These new prescriptions hold possibilities, a potential change for an addict in the screaming cycle of addiction. It’s hope, baby. I’ve got that shit, I can’t play the bad ass who doesn’t care about anything anymore. I’ve been there and got the t-shirt. I had to rip it off.

Goodbye apathy. I’m blowing you a kiss. Of death.

I’ve been a pharmacy baby since day one. Hell, I was a pharmacy baby hopeful-groupie-wannabe-poser before ever cashing my first Celexa prescription. Or maybe it was Lexapro. Oh well. Same thing. I was so excited to be an official member of all the statistics I read about.

The few. The proud. The prescribed.

It began with therapy in ninth grade for a knot of emotional problems that caused me to isolate and skip class 80% of the school day. My counselor found this worrying. I thought nothing of it. Who gives a fuck about geometry? I wanted to listen to Celebrity Skin on my disc man and walk around the outdoors. If life was a one off, I was going to sit in this meadow with Malibu blaring my ears into deafening bliss.

Girl power. I understood my selfishness on a promising level, one that spoke volumes about who I was going to be, a stunningly poised sociopath with nothing to offer most of society. Adults felt the aura on me most of the time and soon their would be meetings about my “goals” and “friends.”

No wonder people were worried. I was a walking red-flag of rage and I hadn’t even gotten my first period. I didn’t have many good reasons to be pissed off and I was usually morbid about something if I wasn’t in my bed. This wasn’t looking ideal for a freshman with zero college ambition and no interest in recreational activities that would accompany academia and no doubt introduce me to new social groups. I wasn’t athletic enough to play school sports, and I was too wrapped up in my depression (which had no real cause, according to my family).

And they were rightful in their judgment. I was better off than most of my school friends, sporting the latest lava lamp that glowed my room a deep purple or concert tickets that we would countdown the days too. I got to see Ja Rule and Ashanti up close and personal much to the dismay of my classmates deep in the bleachers bitching constant complaints.

I didn’t have it bad. And I knew it, which made me feel worse. I hadn’t the faintest idea what my problem was. I couldn’t smile anything or even pretend to for the sake of my parents, who just wanted me to have a normal teenage existence that didn’t kill every mood with some invisible, existential threat. I must have been the most annoying fourteen year old with a lava lamp.

This stubborn depression led me to weekly ninety-dollar checks that were flawlessly made out to one Dr. Pat. Pharmacy Baby’s first shrink. Awww!

We all have to start somewhere. My start was Thursday’s at 4pm. This appointment made me vacate the bu on an earlier stop than the routine one. Kids soon began to take notice. And they couldn’t comprehend why I had to see a doctor four times a month. I must have leukemia or some other young person disease they saw on Dawson’s Creek. I must have been really sick, dying really! Afterall, my sole school-bus pal Kendra saw her hair stylist more than her primary care physician and the dentist combined. Highlights are a serious thing, she would state this as seriously as a heart attack. It made me chuckle and she never understood.

Unfortunately, the punchline was that I was dying. At fourteen years old I knew this was the start of a love-hate relationship with “irony.”

At my worst I was existing and not knowing why. I was wanting to sleep life away. Sleep was the answer.

At my best I was killing my old-self, the girl who reeked of unexplained trauma and bad moods and now this annoying trademark “irony.” The metamorphosis came around the third month of counseling. An anniversary with Dr. Pat meant we drank hot cocoa and did worksheets revolving around behavior and choices. Fuck prom, I had Dr. Pat! I was blossoming.

And i was learning about the power that was “change” and how it could empower you like a butterfly. Or whatever insect fit the worksheets. I sometimes felt like a spider, but I never told Dr. Pat this.

It’s never easy to kill the old you. Even more demanding to bury the old body, and just praying it won’t come back from the dead and replace you. Hoping wasn’t enough. I had to ask with my eyes closed.

I wanted to be a butterfly. I needed my wings. (Commence the beginning of secret plans that were thoughtlessly detailed in my diary, ready to be exposed any minute to a league of jealous girls re-enacting Mean Girls). The writer inside me cringed. Privacy truly died before Twitter. No girls thoughts were safe. They would never be safe. I would need to find new ways for my secrets and dreams. Then, I would fly away into the night, into a new city of strangers, outside of a small minded town of familiars. I wouldn’t need numbers in my yearbook. I was going to find what I was looking for.

But what the fuck was I looking for. Sweet sixteen started to taste sour.

I remembered Dr. Pat told me, “Happiness is a butterfly.”

I wrote it down in my diary, much to my own dismay, hoping that it would be both safe and true.

By: Caitlin Alysabeth Thomas, March 10, 2020, “pharmacy baby blogs,” “Romance in the Vice.”