#Cat Peeing And Throwing Up

[breeberrypies]

when your best friend on the planet ever scratches the surface of your autistic brain and picks out christmas gifts for you that feeds into your nerdy interests and favorite things.

@tallarurus 🫶

[sudokuplayer]

i'm so angry and heartbroken and i think this is all i will ever be

[majimassqueaktoy]

trying to make a gif but it just doesn't look right and I am confused \insert image of guy crying\

ignore that it says Fish and chips

[fellator]

kind of thinking of making a rule sheet for our own apartment too. luckily my roommates and I share many of the same habits so most of this stuff we never had to really talk about. and we all agree that we have to tell each other before taking any guests home. and ask each other before agreeing to let anyone stay overnight

[ninikrumbs]

fluff with boyfriend satoru. thats it.

boyfriendsatoru who's weary and exhausted from the weight of the world on his shoulders, fighting curses day in and day out.

boyfriendsatoru who's favorite part of the day is coming home to you, to the soft hum of your cozy apartment. Your warm smile and open arms a perfect remedy to melt away the exhaustion in his bones, along with the smell of a freshly made meal or takeout depending on how tired you were from your own missions.

"Welcome home, Toru!" The tender tone in your voice made his heart warm. Despite your tired eyes, you still stood up to greet him by the door. You wear wearing his shirt and nothing else with your hair up in a messy bun. And to him you looked so beautiful it almost hurt. How did he ever deserve you?

He closes the distance between you two, wrapping his arms around your smaller frame, hugging you tightly like someone was gonna take you away.

Tucking his head in the crook of your neck, he breathes you in and melts into your embrace. "Im home."

boyfriendsatoru who's house is now so full of life ever since you came in the picture, apartment now filled with cute trinkets, scented candles, plants and cozy throw pillows. A stark difference from his once cold and empty house that he only uses to sleep for a few hours before carrying the mantle as the storngest once more.

boyfriendsatoru who makes up for his absence due to long missions every chance he gets. He now demands for days off like other sorcerers and spends those days trailing behind you like a little puppy.

boyfriendsatoru who doesn't know what personal space is when it comes to you. Wanna shower? he's right there with you. Reading a book in bed? his using your chest as a pillow, purring like a cat every time your laugh reverberates from your body, might even offer to reenact your favorite scenes. Need to pee in the middle of the night? You get startled when he opens the door, sleepy face yawning as he scratches his toned tummy while he waits for you to be finished. Claiming that he can't sleep without you. Doing skincare? He's right beside you, waiting for you to pat in your toner and moisturiser on his face. Honestly, he's just a baby who loves you and wants to be included in everything.

"Toru, not that I mind..."

He looks up from his place on your chest, looking so sleepy and satisfied that you almost didn't wanna disturb him.

He yawns before answering you, voice laced with sleep. "What is it, sweets?"

You thread your fingers through his fluffy hair, giving him head scratches here and there and he basically purrs like a kitty on catnip. "You know you don't t have to spend every waking moment with me. I know you feel like you have to make up for the time we're apart, but its okay to make time for yourself you know."

In typical Gojo fashion, Satoru juts his lips out as his eyes water comically. "Does that mean you don't want to spend time me?"

"What? No!" You were somehow panicked and amused at the same time.

"You should've just shot me instead, that would have hurt less!" He cries, tightening his arms around your waist.

You shake your head at his theatrics, laughing fondly, "I didn't mean that you big baby."

Sparkly blue eyes stare back at you, "But Im your baby."

You snort in response. If only the world could see him now, the stongest so soft like this. But truly you felt lucky that monly you could see this side to Satoru. A side to him that you could keep all to yourself. The world can have the strongest, you only ever wanted Satoru. "Toru, I only meant that you might get tired of me if you don't have your personal space."

He scoffs, looking so offended. "First of all, there's absolutely no chance of me getting sick of you and second Ive had enough alone time to last me a life time."

The way he said the last part made it sound like it was no big deal but the thought of him coming home to an empy house with no one to turn to made your heart ache. "Toru.."

Seeing the look on your face, he quickly gives you a smile, "Don't look at me like that, sweets. Im fine, really. Its all in the past."

You were unconvinced but you didn't want to breach deeper into such a sad subject so instead you made a promise to yourself to make sure he never feels alone ever again.

You pull him up and wrap your arms around his neck, he snuggles into you but makes sure not to crush you under his weight. His warmth seeps into your skin as you caress his back. You murmur softly into his neck, "You have me, Toru. Always."

Gojo had to blink back the tears and stop his voice from shaking when he spoke, "And you have me."

--

"Just to be clear, you don't like personal space?" You ask, teasing lightly as you looked down at Gojo on you lap.

He gazes up at you, arms circling your waist, smirking cheekily as he answers, "I like your personal space."

[krbkitten]

the cat iS PISSING ON MY SHIT AGAIN

[mommypieck]

𑄽୧ mutual masturbation with yuuji𔓘 ᰍ

kinktober day 13: touch me please!!!

✿ aged up!yuuji itadori x jealous!reader

✿ warnings: masturbation, fingering, jerking off

You and Yuuji have been best friends ever since you were little. He was always the bubbly golden retriever, and you were his shy black cat. he always stood by you when you were little, and he always stands by you now.

"And then she asked for my number," he exclaims, showing his hands all around. His smile is bright, and you're happy for him. He's so delighted that a girl hit on him for the first time. But there's something inside of you, that tells you it shouldn't be that way.

"What do you think of her?" Yuuji asks, almost breaking your nose with his phone. The girl in the picture is pretty, but you feel like Yuuji could get someone even prettier. For example, you think you are way cuter than that girl.

"Do you think I could lose my virginity to her?" The questions throw you off guard. Of course, you know that Yuuji is a virgin, but you didn't think he would lose it to someone he just met.

"Maybe we can practice," you mutter shyly, you don't want him to go and fuck some other girl. He kissed you when you were little, and even though you're both adults now, you can still feel that kiss on your lips

"Like to have sex?" he asks you, his eyes wide. You snort at him, "Of course not sex, but you probably don't know where the clit is."

He almost looks offended by your statement. Of course, he knows where the clit is, he thinks to himself. Gojo told him it was another name for the pee hole.

"You can just teach me a bit," you tell him, looking at him skeptically. His face suddenly turns serious, and you can see the wheels turning in his head.

"Okay." he breathes into your ear.

"Is this okay?" he asks, his hand traveling up your skirt. He almost whines when his fingers meet the warmth of your pussy. Yuuji rubs you over your panties, he's inexperienced, but he thinks he has an idea of what he's doing. You let out a surprised moan when he finds your clit.

"Did I find it?" he shoots you a teeth-full smile. You nod, he, in fact, found it so quickly. he hooks his fingers on the hem of your panties, pulling them down your legs. It's awkward with you sitting next to him, but he managed to do it.

"Oh my god." he moans, staring wide-eyed at your pussy. You want to slap him at that moment.

"What's the matter?" you ask him as you bite your lip.

"It's my first time seeing real pussy." he confesses, making you roll your eyes. You open your legs a bit more for him to get a better look, earning a whine from him.

"Do you want to touch me too?" he asks you, grabbing the tent in his pants and shoving it in your direction. You nod shyly, unable to look at him.

Your hand reaches out to cup him over his own hand, moving your hand with his own. he pulls down his pants, giving him a perfect view of the bulge in his boxers. You suppose he's big even though you have never seen a dick before.

Your hand slides into his boxers, fingers just gazing against his hard-on. You feel the veins on his dick under your fingers flexing. Your hand finds his tip, and you cringe at the slimy precum on the top.

He pulls his boxers down, finally revealing the hard-on you were playing with. You shut your lips shut, he's so pretty. He's pretty pink with his tip being a bit darker than the rest.

Your body shuffles closer to his, and you lay your head on his shoulder. Your hand cups his dick again, and you wrap your fist around him. Yuuji moans, and you can't help but think about how perfectly he fits in your hand.

While you're occupied with studying his cock, his own hand finds your pussy again. He tries to look for your clit again, and after a few swipes, he finds it again.

You lay side by side, your hand on his cock while he is between your legs. Both of you don't say anything. The only sounds are heavy breathing and moans and whines.

His fingers tease your opening, collecting all your juices on his digits. You jump a little at his gesture, closing your legs around his hand.

"Come on, let me touch you inside," he whines, pulling your legs apart so he can touch you again. You shake his head, there is no way you are gonna let him finger you.

"I'm gonna give you a kiss if you let me put fingers inside." Yuuji offers you, and your ears perk up. Maybe if he kisses you, he's gonna forget all about that other girl. You think for a moment before pecking his lips in a quick kiss, catching him off guard. He smiles at you, and he plants a kiss into your hair.

He carefully pushes one of his fingers inside, making you wince in pain. even just one digit is too big for you. Your hand speeds on his cock, trying to find some distraction from his hand. You have to agree that his finger doesn't feel as bad inside of you. It's a bit strange, but the spot he massages makes you see stars.

His whole palm is pressed against your pussy, adding pressure on your clit while he discovers your insides.

You can feel his twitching in your hand, indicating he's super close. Your focus is set on his cock, you wanna see how it looks when he cums. You grip him a little tighter, jerking him faster. It takes a few tugs before he's cumming all over your hand.

His hand between your legs doesn't stop, in fact, it gets rougher, trying to bring you to your orgasm too. Your stomach feels weird, and your whole body tenses as you cum. Your body jerks on its own as you ride out your orgasm.

You don't realize you closed your eyes until you see him smiling up at you. He looks like an angel, his eyes screaming a worried look.

"Did you like it?" he asks you, making you hide your face in the crook of his neck. He can feel your hot cheeks telling him that you did.

"I am not gonna answer that girl. I liked being like this with you."

taglist: @mcharris747 @huuuuut30 @krispsprite @bejewelledd @cawwn @veryninjanacho @jamayah @dngerwayz @nwptune @universlypiratecolor @ffakegucci @merachannie @d1lf-luvr @th3girln3xtdoor @nobody289x @iheartpieck @gia999 @kawasgirl @st4rrlighttt @candyeyeroll @7haze @banchangsbbbg @nigthmar3moon @softlilpeachxx @d1gitalbath @jaenniii

@satorustar @balenciagarette

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

I'm not sure whether your request box is open or not, but if you do, I want to drop an idea

How about ot8 sleeping habit?

Thankies!

🧠🫶🏻

hehe this was fun... this is all my own personal opinion, not facts or based on anything specific

Bangchan

Sleeps like a Dad- he is ready to wake at any moment, ranging from a faint noise to a kitchen fire. (Most definitely not caused by Felix or Seungmin...)

Usually passes out mid writing session, with his notebook or laptop within arms reach

One of those is most likely being used as a makeshift pillow

Loves to sleep facing outwards on his side, arm tucked under his pillow (or laptop or notebook or other arm because lets be real he probably isn't aslepp in bed)

Likes sleeping outwards because it makes him feel safer, like he could easily spring into action if needed

Rarely moves when he falls asleep from pure exhaustion.

If he falls asleep on normal accord, he moves like a madman

Has a secret stash of hoodies he uses only for sleep

But even then...he likes sleeping naked. Only wears clothes if he's not sleeping at home. (dude literally walks around naked...)

Lee Know

Sleeps like royalty. Perfect posture. Doesn't move.

His cats tend to join him, claiming half the bed, and he does not mind that at all

If his cats don't join him, he'll let out little pspspsp's until at least one comes (and if none of them come he will go to sleep grumpy)

Prefers absolute silence, but if he is tired enough he'll sleep through an earthquake

Tends to sleep talk, but denies vehemently that he does (he knows he does, and he knows its mostly him mumbling about choreography)

Likes to throw his sheets in the dryer to warm them up when he is feeling fancy

Usually takes a while to fall asleep

Wakes up at least once a night

Usually its because he gets a paw up a nostril

Changbin

Likes to be surrounded by plushy comfy stuff

If he is sharing a bed, radiates warmth and tends to be clung to like a teddybear (he is NOT complaining about that)

He snores, but gets embarrassed if someone mentions it

Always has to shower before bed

Lots of thinner blankets (for some reason he gives me the type to love to be warm but hate comforters?)

Overheats easily thus why he loves the thin blankets he can peel back (he just seems like a warm bodied person)

Likes falling asleep to music but will get really upset if he wakes up with it still on

Seems like he's have a nightlight ngl, not because he is scared of the dark, but because he genuinely can't see for shit in the dark

Wakes up to go pee like three times a night because he'll drink a ton of water (and still continues to drink it even though he just went to the bathroom)

Also occasionally loves a midnight snack

Hyunjin

Dramatic sleeper. Dude is sprawled out everywhere yet somehow it looks artistic

Has to put his hair up or else it will be frizzy in the morning

Tosses and turns because he dreams vividly, often about very random things

Needs the room to smell nice- candles or an essential oil diffuser is a must (typically uses a scent that aids in sleep or health, like lavender or mint if his head hurts)

Opposite of Binnie- he gets cold really easily and needs all the extra comforters he can get

Loves doing before bed skincare. Its almost ritualistic for him. (it helps soothe him)

Like how he has a set routine for skincare, he has a set routine for sleep. Goes to bed and wakes up at the same time everyday

Or at least he tries to. He tends to sleep in a lot on the weekends due to staying up late painting throughout the week

Sometimes, he'll paint things he sees in his dreams (usually pretty abstract)

Jisung

Falls asleep wherever and whenever. No questions asked (has been found by numerous staff just snoozing around the jype building)

Occasionally its due to complete burnout, but usually its just because he likes sleeping

He also tends to have really vivid and random fever dreams (once dreamt of Felix being eaten by a Cheerio and wouldn't allow him to eat cereal for a week)

He talks in his sleep. Full on conversations that don't make sense 97% of the time.

When its actually time for him to go to bed, he has a specific set up for his pillow and singular plushie he needs (one pillow on the right side of the bed, then the plushie and then the second pillow on top of his head as he sleeps- don't ask its just what he needs)

Tends to kick off all of his blankets during his slumber, usually waking up with just his plushie on the bed, both pillows and all covers trashed on the floor

But if someone else is in the bed dude is as stiff as a rock

Usually falls asleep to funny videos, since it helps quiet his mind

Unfortunately, that means he laughs a lot in his sleep which is a bit creepy (scares the shit outta people)

Sometimes things are so funny he'll wake up from laughing so hard.

Felix

Sleeps like a literal baby. Quiet and still.

Enjoys soothing sounds like rain or waves to go to sleep.

Rarely snores

Sometimes wakes himself up with soft giggles (usually its because someone cracked a joke in his dream)

People sleeping next to him say he radiates a calming warmth. Like sleeping next to sunshine.

He usually hugs something while he is asleep, a pillow or a plushie (changbin body pillow ?????)

Likes falling asleep to the room being chilly, but needs it to be warm or else he refuses to leave bed

Meaning he needs to get up in the middle of the night to turn off the fan.

He is the type to "accidentally" steal blankets (he does it on purpose 100%)

Seungmin

The most disciplined sleeper; sticks to a consistent bedtime and wake-up routine no matter how busy his schedule is.

Prefers sleeping on his back with perfect posture, almost as if posing for a photoshoot.

Rarely moves in his sleep, waking up in nearly the same position he fell asleep in. (sometimes its a bit creepy)

Needs complete silence and will actively seek out a quieter spot if his surroundings are noisy.

Hates feeling too warm while sleeping; he often cracks a window or adjusts the thermostat.

Keeps his bed tidy with just one pillow and a light blanket. (its gets too stuffy with too much stuff on the bed)

Occasionally hums softly or sings a lullaby under his breath before falling asleep.

Gets annoyed by anyone who wakes him unnecessarily and isn’t shy about showing his irritation. (jisung is usually the one to wake him up with excited screaming- tied with changbin)

Wakes up refreshed and ready for the day, often teasing others about their grogginess.

Jeongin

Sleeps face down with his arms hugging his pillow tightly, often burying his face in it. (dude is literally close to suffocating himself, more often than not chan rolls him over)

Snores loudly but adorably, puffing his cheeks out as he exhales a snore that sounds like a 6.0 magnitude earthquake.

Loves being bundled up in a mountain of blankets, even if he ends up half-buried under them (again with the suffocation, he stresses chan out)

Wakes up with his hair sticking out in every possible direction, but it is heartachingly cute.

Talks in his sleep occasionally, mumbling random things (most of the time one of his Hyung's names comes up followed by an evil giggle, leaving them paranoid about what their precious maknae is plotting)

Kicks off the covers in his sleep but then immediately searches for them when he gets cold.

Prefers sleeping with the lights off but needs his phone nearby to check before bed.

Wakes up easily if startled but can fall right back asleep like nothing happened.

Usually wakes up groggy but his mood instantly changes at the mention of breakfast (which he finishes in about 4 bites max)

@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin

@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun

@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael

@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads

@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld

@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9

@minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg

@leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon

@night-storm7 @missmajdastark @axel-skz

[nachtai-ish]

Grown People Business

pairing: black!femalereader x Terry Richmond

mentions of: a child (idk having a child might be triggering for some folks), mutual verbal abuse, cancer, cloaked mention of abortion. non-canon, terry might be ooc.

notes: despite the above mentions....it's not a dark story.

                Your son was bouncing his knee, holding the football just under his little puffy jacket covered arms. Well, at least you thought he was bouncing his knee. Every time you would slide a look over to him, he would suddenly look very still and solemn. Serious, as if he was really contemplating the lyrics of Kokomo by The Beach Boys. You hid your giggle and continued humming along to the radio.

“Did you have fun at your dads?” You asked sliding another look at your son.

He nodded, as a smile appeared again. “So much fun. Me and Keke, and JoJo ate sundaes and we watched the football game on thanksgiving. Aunt Allison had some wine and she was dancing and she asked me to dance you know I had to show her how we do it now. You old people-“

“Old?” You scoffed. “Boy, who you think taught you those moves?”

“Old people. Anyway, we had so much fun. Christine bought me a ball and daddy and me, daddy and I, threw the ball so much. He said I have a good arm.”

You rolled your eyes and took a right at the red light. Yohan would not put football dreams in your son’s head but you couldn’t shake the joy out of his eyes. “Oh is that right. What about that book report?”

And there was the silence. You shook your head and chuckled. “…Cat got your tongue?”

“I forgot. But I can do it tonight. We still got the weekend.”

“Uh huh.” You shook your head again and pulled into your parking space in front of your town home. And suddenly your son was reaching for the door handle, rushing like he had to go to the bathroom.

“Slow down, what you got to pee?” You knew exactly what he was rushing for.

“I want to show Terry my new ball and see if he wants to see how I throw.” He nearly slammed the door hard enough to break the window. You laughed exasperated and your son’s energy.

“He might not be home Marcus.” You got out of the car yourself, straightening your slightly off-ivory sweater. Your words didn’t stop him from ringing the doorbell, bouncing on his toes. No more than a minute later, the door opened and Terry was standing at the door, bright smile on his face and blue eyes trained on your son.

It was enough to make you melt right on the asphalt you were standing on in the 55-degree weather.

“Marc, my man. Dang, you were gone like two months.” Terry said clapping hands with the much shorter boy, and then squatting to give him a hug. “How was your thanksgiving?”

Marc shrugged, and you rolled your eyes. Boys. “It was alright.” He said, voice suddenly calm conveying indifference.

“Just alright? What the macaroni wasn’t good?” He looked at Marcus then, eyes scanning his face quickly and then he looked over at you, concern in his eyes.

“He good?” He seemed to say, just with a slight shifting of his eyebrows.

You clutched your purse to your stomach, shaking your head and shrugging with a smirk on your face.

“Oh I see, you trying not to make me jealous cause you know I sat here and had a pot pie for dinner.” He shoved him a little and then looked down at the football in his hand. “What’s that?”

“Football, my dad’s fiancé got it for me. You want to see me throw it?”

“You ask your mom?” Terry looked at you then, and Marcus’ face soon followed, his face pleading with you to be cool and say yes.

“It’s cold.” You said, needling him a little bit.

“Ma, please.” He begged.

“Fine, but book report right after. And put your gloves on.” You said grabbing his suitcase out of the backseat.

“Aww Ma-

“Hey, football players wear them too. You want your fingers to be frozen and you mess up the throw? Do what your mom says.” Terry said, his deep voice gentle.

“You right Terry.”

You rolled your eyes again, and closed the backseat. “Of course, listen to Terry. Not your dear old ma, who only was in labor with you for 6 whole h-“

“Alright ma, we’ll be in the backyard.” Marcus walked into Terry’s house, knowingly heading straight for the back door that led to your shared backyard space.

“He a trip I swear.” Terry laughed. “You need help with that?”

“It’s just one suitcase. I’m not fragile.” You stood at your door looking over at Terry fiddling with your keys.

Terry smirked, “Never said you were. Just offering. …How was your thanksgiving? I didn’t see you.” He leaned against his doorframe. His eyes shifted a little lower. You ignored the rumbling in your lower half.

“I went out.”

“With who?” His voice was slightly deeper, his eyes snapped back on your face.

You chuckled looking up at the sky for help. Something, anything that would stop the tingles in your lower half. “30 minutes Terry. Have my child back in my house in thirty minutes.” And with that you walked in your home and closed the door, safe and away from blue eyes and pheromones.

                You sat at your dining room table, windows facing the backyard open so you could see Marcus and Terry throwing the ball back and forth. Your laptop was open in front of you and the grading software had been idling for 20 minutes now as you watched the ball go back and forth. Terry’s form was impeccable, but you knew that. You knew that when he moved in.

Before Terry, there was Mrs. Mable. Mrs. Mable was a sweet older white woman who had moved into the town home after her husband had passed from cancer. She had lived in some big house about 20 minutes away, but once her husband died, she couldn’t stand the silence. When you moved into the Town home, she had been so excited, bringing over cookies and making sure that you knew exactly what school to enroll Marcus into. In the two years that you were neighbors, she had become a sort of surrogate aunt, even watching Marcus during moments where you needed to run out for whatever reason. When her daughter had another baby, she decided to move in with her to help and suddenly the Town home was empty.

Enter Terry.

You hadn’t even seen him look at the place. Only saw the moving van pull up and him, green shirt and tan cargo pants, moving his boxes in all by himself. He didn’t have much but what he did have, he moved efficiently and quickly. You knew he was a force when he picked up an armchair sofa by himself and moved it into his home…almost with no sweat. You noticed the trails of it running down his thick neck.

“Jesus.” You mumbled, hand clutching at your own neck.

“I think he needs help.” Marcus, six then, said. He was sitting at the door, putting on his little sneakers in a hurry.

“And you’re going to help him?” You smirked, watching your child spring into action.

“Yeah, I helped Mrs. Mable move her stuff in the van.”

“So, you’re a pro at it.”

“Duh, mommy.” He opened the door and you followed him, standing on your stoop as your son traveled the few feet over to the new neighbor. You leaned on your door frame, admiring the neighbor from behind as he walked into the moving truck, not even noticing the little 3 foot moving professional walking behind him.

“Can I help?” Marc asked after a moment of standing just at the edge of the truck.

There was a little pause and then a voice, “Uh…yeah you can…but where’s your mom and dad? They know you out here?”

“Ma’s right there. She said it’s okay.” Marcus pointed at you then and a face looked out of the side of the truck. Your inhale was sharp.

His face was devastating. Big features, big lips, wide nose, big blue eyes. On someone else it could be cartoonish, but on him it was almost movie star handsome.

“Damn…” You couldn’t help but say. Fuck, I hope he didn’t hear that.

He grinned slightly, and waved at you. “Hey, I’m Terry. Is it cool if your boy helps me?”

You nodded, your sanity coming back to you. “It’s…it’s cool. But if he breaks anything, just remember you said it was okay for him to help.” You joked and then cursed. Probably not a good idea to tell your neighbor that your son was a little destructive.

Terry laughed; it wasn’t a belly laugh but it was enough to brighten his face. “I won’t sue you. No worries.” He held out his hand for Marcus and helped him onto the truck. “Grab those lamps for me.”

“Be careful Marc.” You shouted.

“I am!” He shouted back, making Terry chuckle again.

You spent at least an hour and 30 minutes sitting on your stoop watching Terry and Marcus pull things off the truck. And during that time, you got a good look at Terry. He had to be at least 6’1 maybe more, and he was broad shouldered. His posture was ram-rod straight like he had been in the military or something. He answered Marcus’ questions calmly, like they had all the time in the world. Like he had no issue with answering the inane questions of a 6-year-old. He was not annoyed and if he was, he was amazing at hiding it.

You were watching them; they had stopped so Marcus could show Terry a Pokemon card he had gotten in a trade. Terry was squatted low to look at the card, giving it all the attention in the world as Marcus explained all of its features. You had urged Marcus to stop holding the man up, but Terry encouraged him to tell him more about the card, making Marcus even more excited.

“He good mama.” He looked at you, eyes focused on yours, voice still calm. Your son was not bothering him. He looked at him then, “I want to know what Bulbasaur does.”

Your stomach clenched. Oh god. You could not sleep with this man. You could not sleep with this man because she showed your son decency. Your phone rang in your pocket then, and the name on the screen made you drier than the Sahara Desert.

Yohan.

You stood up then, going to the furthest corner of your stoop. You didn’t turn your back on the two, but you did turn a little for privacy.

“Hey. What’s up?”

A pause. “I can’t get him this weekend.”

“Yohan, what the fuck. It’s your weekend. You said you were going to take him to the fair.”You kept your voice down as much as possible, not wanting to alarm Marcus.

“…I gotta work. I know what I said. I told you I’m trying.”

“You always say you have to work but then you end up in the fucking club with girls all over you.” You turned then facing away from the men who now were moving a table, Terry was of course doing most of the lifting. “Nigga, I always have to cover for you. I’m tired of lying to my son cause you don’t want to be a father.” You whispered.

“Who said I didn’t want to be a father? I’m fucking telling the truth. I don’t have to lie to your ass. I have to work. Put my son on the phone.”

You looked back and gasped. Terry was watching you, concern on his face. Marcus was heading towards the moving van, not a care in the world. You forced a grin and nodded. You were okay. Terry stood there for another second, before nodding once and walking towards the moving van.

You let out the breath you were holding and focused on the phone.

“Did you hear me Y/N? Put Marc on the phone.”

“No.” You simply said. “He’s busy.”

Another pause and then a chuckle. “…I am not doing this with you. Put my son on the phone.”

“I said no.” You were being unreasonable, sure but this man was always doing this shit and you had enough. “You are not about to feed my son no bullshit so you can feel better about what you’re doing.”

“What you want me to send you the schedule? I got to work. Fuck! This is why I left your ass-“

“Left me? Nigga I threw that ring and your fucking shit to the left-“

“-You don’t trust me.”

“Oh, cause you gave me so many reasons to trust you.” You laughed. “There was Brenda, Latisha, Linda, Felicia, about three Kims’-“

He chuckled, “What you DMX now? Fuck this, I’ll tell Allison to come pick my son up since you want to be stupid-“

You rolled your eyes, “You tell Allison if she steps her drunk ass on my porch, it’ll be the last thing-“

“Mommy.”

You stopped immediately, straightening up and wiping your eyes. You didn’t even know you had starting to cry. “Hey, you done?” You said turning around when you were straight.

“I just gotta pee, and you’re in front of the door.” Marcus was crossed leg and shifting.

You laughed. “My bad, go. And wash your hands.” You called after him.

You sighed when he was out of sight and put the phone back on your ear. “I can’t do this anymore.”

“Good… So stop being stupid, and just be reasonable.”

“I’m taking you to court. Bye Yohan.” You hung up the phone, and turned it completely off, sitting on the stairs and putting your head in your hands. Your eyes wet your hands, but you were not crying. You would not cry anymore.

After a moment, there was movement next to you, and then warmth. You looked to the side and Terry was there, silent, not looking at you. Just there. It was oddly comforting although he was a stranger.

You chuckled, “You heard all of that?”

He shrugged and shook his head, “Heard what? …I’m just resting.” He said, still not looking at you. You shook your head.

“On my porch?”

“I’m tired. My porch is like…all the way over there.” He gestured to the right of you. “I’ve been moving all day.”

“Right.” You sniffed in, wiping your eyes. “I could spit the distance between your porch and mine.”

“1. That’s impressive. 2. Doesn’t mean I want to walk it.” He grinned then. “Let me rest, mama.”

“Fine, only because I know you’re tired.” You stood up. “And don’t call me mama. I’m not your mama.”

“My bad. …what’s your name?” He looked up at you.  “You never told me.”

“It’s Y/n. My name is Y/n.”

                It had been two years since then. And Terry turned out to be a pretty reliable neighbor as well, helping you when your tires were flat. Helping you carry in groceries. And entertaining your son’s every whim, including throwing various balls across your shared backyard.

“And you won’t fuck him why?” Keke said making you snap out of your daze. You were on a zoom call with her while working on your papers you had to finish grading. Keke might have been Yohan’s sister but she was also your friend, your best friend. “I know you ain’t still feenin for Yohan’s ugly ass.”

“Keke, please.” You said laughing. “Don’t nobody want your big head ass brother no more.”

“See that’s what you said before, then six months later there you go waddling around with Marcus in your stomach.” She laughed. “Listen, I love my bookie but I would have.” She made a sucking noise and crossed her hand across her neck. “Immediately. You know what I’m saying.”

“You stupid.”

“For real. Fuck the man. Get it over with. You know you want to. You know you going to. It’s been two years.” She grinned. “I saw how he was looking at you on the fourth. Like he wanted to bend your ass right over on that picnic table. Yes god! I would have LET HIM. You hear me?”

“Keisha.”

“I’m for real. I know he fuck good. When he over you with all that weight, and he-“ She clapped her hands in a rhythm that reminded you of an intense session of love making. “You can grab onto all that back he got and just let go. Just EXHALE GIRL. Woosah bitch.”

“Keisha.”

“I know he gone talk you through it too. …you gotta tell me all about it. Or hell move out the way and I’ll give it a go.”

“You’re married.” You nearly laughed but kept it in.

“Damn you right.-“

You laughed then.

“You gotta do it, for the both of us.”

“You don’t sleep where you…well sleep. He’s my neighbor and if things get messy, then I can’t escape it.”

And things always found a way of being messy with you. There was the guy from the supermarket, no you didn’t heed the warning that Troy shouted up at Robin in Waiting to Exhale, nor the warning from the cannibal movie from Hulu. He ended up having a girlfriend, who would go on to flatten your tires.

And then there was Kevin, the principal from your son’s school. You had only gone on one date with him, and it was HORRIBLE. So bad that you blocked him, and now ignore him at PTA meetings. And then there was…

Damn, maybe it was you.

“Yall are grown. If you tell him, hey big fine 6’3 ass man-

“He’s not 6’3.”

“Oh bitch, he’s 6’3. I know a tall nigga when I see one. Anyway, if you just tell the man, hey I just want to fuck…no strings, I know he’ll be cool with it.”

“I’m not a hoe, Keisha.”

“Who said you was! This is grown people business. Grown! If you set expectations in the beginning then no one gets hurt. Grown People business girl. Now…what you waiting for?”

You looked out the window, Terry and Marcus was still playing outside, neither one of them minding your 30 minute instruction that you had given earlier but you weren’t mad. It made you feel warm inside that your son trusted Terry so much, and that Terry was so warm to your son.

“Keisha…I don’t know.” You still were looking outside when Terry looked back at you too. He grinned, and you smiled. Someone could end up hurt…and more than likely it would be you.

“Girl…I told you. Set expectations up front, get what you want and if you don’t want it no more….no hard feelings. Grown.-“

You nodded, deciding to yourself.

“Grown people business.” -----

a/n: i don't know. this should be a series...but I'm not good at finishing stuff, so no promises. i hope you all enjoyed it. mwah. i can't remember the last time i wrote lol, so yeah...

[spencereidluver]

F is for First Date

september 15, 2008

summary: You and Spencer go on your first date to a little coffee shop before work. You convince him to try your coffee, and he finds he enjoys it.

word count: 2.8k

warnings: none. just fluff and spencer being a gentleman

You roll over in your bed, throwing the covers off of your body. It was hot. Why was it so hot? You look over to your alarm cock: 8:03 a.m. You were running late. 45 minutes late, actually. Luckily, your apartment is only a few blocks away from the office, however, you typically left at 8:10. That left you 7 minutes to do your normal hour long routine.

You quickly jump up from your bed, letting the blankets fall wherever they pleased. Honestly, what’s the point in making the bed? You’re just going to tear it apart in your sleep tonight, anyways. You jog slightly to your bathroom, grabbing your hairbrush and multitasking as you did your morning pee. You brushed your teeth in record time, definitely not two minutes, but at least the morning breath was gone.

You went back to your room, slipping off your flannel pajama pants and gray “Harvard” shirt. You didn’t go to Harvard. You just liked the oversized shirt. 

You grabbed a nude-toned bra out of your dresser and clasped it behind your back. You slid a white lace top over your head and threw a tan fuzzy cardigan on. You put a pair of dark tights on and pulled a dark brown leather miniskirt over them, tucking the white top in. You slid on thick white socks on, ones that ended at your mid-shin, and put on a pair of black converse. 

Good enough, you thought to yourself, not bothering to put on makeup. You planned to stay in the office today. No meetings, and pray to god no cases. You just wanted a chill day.

You left your apartment at 8:15, not much later than you normally did, you’d just have to take out the coffee stop this morning. 

______

You nearly drop your bag as you’re rushing through the parking lot, trying desperately to enter the building before 8:30. Not only were you up late this morning, but traffic was a bitch. It wouldn’t be a big deal if you were a few minutes late, however you’ve been petulant in your 9 months and don’t plan to start truancy now. 

Of course, Derek, who 9 times out of 10 is fashionablly late, sees you speed walking through the parking lot.

“Hey Sweetheart, what are you doing in so late?” He jokingly cat-calls you through the lot.

“Slept late,” You respond in a yell, not slowing your step at all.

“Aw, baby needs her beauty sleep?” “Something like that.”

You rush into the building, crossing through the glass doors of the BAU office right as the clock struck 8:30, Derek somehow a full two minutes behind you. You walk over to your desk and place your knitted tote bag filled with personal items on the ground beneath you. Sitting in your chair, you plop the stack of paperwork in front of you, and look at the man across from you.

“Morning, Spence,” You say as you open the file.

“Goodmorning, y/n. How was your morning?” He asks curiously. 

“Well, I overslept and didn’t have time for a coffee stop, but luckily I was having a good hair day so it doesn’t matter. How about you?”

“Well I couldn’t even tell. You look great. My morning was alright. I got my coffee.” He mockingly takes a big sip before standing up and excusing himself. 

You didn’t know where he was going, though you had enough paperwork to let it pass through your mind. You quickly began scribbling through the papers and placing files where they needed to go. You forgot how messy you’d left your desk Friday when you returned from a case. You were in a big hurry to leave and go to dinner with the team, you just threw everything from the case on your desk and scrammed. It wasn’t a big deal though, it was just easy, boring paperwork. 

Spencer returned a few minutes later with a coffee cup in hand. He approached your desk. “Hey, y/n,” he says, you move your attention from the paperwork to him towering over you. “I made you a coffee. I um, I put two sugars in it, I hope that’s alright, I’ve seen you drink it like that before and-”

“It’s perfect, Spence, thank you.” You say, taking the cup as he hands it down to you.

He hurries to his chair and hides his face. You curiously turned the cup around. There, you saw the inscription of his homely handwriting. “y/n: do you want to go out for coffee tomorrow morning before work? -Spence.” 

You smiled, and went to look up at him, but he instinctively scurried away. Though, he’d left his half drank cup of coffee on his desk. You walk over to his, and flop down in his chair, it almost swallowing you whole as the leather back had fitted to his broader shoulders. You grab the coffee and a Sharpie marker from his pencil cup. “Spence: of course I do… 7:30? <3”

You get up and return to your  desk, almost on cue, Spencer returns. You were unsure of where he came from, though it didn’t matter. He sat at his desk, and you nodded your head to the cup. He looked confused for a brief second, before bringing it to his eyes to read it. 

He looked up and smiled at you. “ 7:30 sounds great, I’ll meet you there,” he says.

“Okay! I’m parking here and walking, if you wish to join,” you say, taking a sip of the special made coffee. It was no different than how you normally made it, but it tasted special because of who made it.

“I’ll meet you in the parking lot here, then. How’s that?” “That’s perfect, Spence.”

You return to your paperwork, unable to hide the smile on your face. You’d waited so long for this moment, you couldn’t believe it was finally happening. You caught Spencer smiling a few times as well. You wondered how long he’d wanted to ask you out. You’ve found Spencer attractive since the day you started working here. You were so beyond ecstatic something was finally happening between the two of you. 

You finished your coffee quickly. It was the best coffee you have ever tasted. You thought briefly for a second, before going to the kitchen to clean the styrofoam cup out. You made sure it was no longer sticky or had any coffee residue before drying it completely and taking it back to your desk. You open the small pencil drawer of your desk and pull out four sticky notes. Notes Spencer had left you in the past few weeks. You placed the four notes in the cup and placed a new lid on it. Putting the cup in the side drawer, you smiled to yourself. You’ve kept every note Spencer has ever given you. And you don’t plan on stopping any time soon.

_____

‘7:28,’ the clock on the dash of your car read. You looked in your rearview mirror at the road behind you. There was Spencer in his old man car. You’d been early, nervous about your date, though you knew it would go good. You wore a fitted white turtleneck with a knitted tank top sweater vest of different shades of brown on top. You paired this with a khaki skirt and the same pair of black converse. You realized this was a very Spencer-esque outfit, and it was quite possible you and him could have nearly the exact same outfit on today.

Luckily, Spencer picked from the other side of his closet this morning. He approached you wearing dark brown slacks and black converse as well. He had his satchel pulled over his waist, drawing attention to the way he swayed as he walked. He had a dark, though not as dark as his pants, sweater that was open, and underneath was a collared off-white shirt and a diagonally striped tie. His left hand rested on his satchel, and his right was hidden behind his back. He did his little hoppy jog to your car, you having opened the door, grabbing your knitted tote bag, and beginning to make your way around to him.

“Good morning, y/n,” he says as he reaches you. 

“Hi, Spence,” You didn’t know why, but you were suddenly very shy. Maybe because this was a “formal date,” but you’d been on friend dates with Spencer so many times before. 

Spencer was clearly nervous too, though less than you. His hand from behind his back made itself known, in his fist was a single red rose. “I um, I got this for you. I know it’s only one, but I actually saw a flower patch on my way here and I didn’t want to take them all.” He was rambling.

“I love it, it’s perfect.” You grab the rose from his hand, letting your fingers run over the petals. They were smooth. He could see you were trying not to touch the stem too much, as you were trying not to touch the thorns. 

“I picked all the thorns off so you didn’t hurt yourself. I don’t have any water for it or anything…”

You examined the stem. You saw all the spots where thorns once laid. He was so sweet. Not only did he make a stop to pick you a rose, but he also safety coded it. You were going to keep this rose forever. You knew it. You planned on pressing the flowers once you got home from work that night. Maybe you could keep the petals in the “note drawer,” or maybe you could start a new drawer..

“Spencer, hey, I love it okay. Thank you.” You slid the stem of the rose between two knits of your bag, it poking inside and the flower on the outside like a pin. You saw Spencer smile. He was proud of himself. 

The two of you began to walk through the parking lot. Spencer paid careful attention to your feet, matching his gate exactly with yours. As you neared the end of the parking lot, reaching the sidewalk next to a fairly busy street, you felt a hand gently brush your waist. Spencer switched sides, him now being on the side adjacent to the road. First flowers, and now this? This boy was a true gentleman.

You smiled to yourself. Technically, the date hadn’t even begun yet, but you were already certain you wanted a relationship to blossom from this. You looked to the man to your left, the sun in a position to hit against his face in a way that made him look like an angel. You couldn’t help yourself. You reached over and took hold of his hand. He jumped slightly, before gripping a little too tight. He looked down at you and smiled. 

“You’re so pretty, y/n,” Spencer said. He’d been waiting what seemed like years- though only 9 months- to tell you that. You didn’t know where Spencer learned how to flirt, but frankly you didn’t care. You really liked this side of him.

“I think you’re pretty too, Spence.” You said. He smiled and ran his fingers through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead. Wow.

______

The coffee shop made itself known once you reached the top of a hill. The natural brick on the outside makes it look homey. It was about a 10 minute walk from the parking lot of the BAU, but Spencer and you were agents. You made the walk take a total of eight minutes. Speed walking isn’t a training module for the FBI, though it is definitely learned, and quickly. 

Spencer opened the door and allowed for you to enter first. Yet another gentlemanly move today. The smell of coffee filled your noses. It reminded you of Spencer. He always had coffee breath, yet not the nasty kind. He always seemed to smell so wonderful.

“Hello,” the barista at the counter cheerfully said as you and Spencer entered the small building. The two of you approached her. “What can I get for you guys today?”

You order your regular and Spencer orders a black coffee with a LOT of sugar. You retrieve the coffees from the pick up area and sit at a raised table in the corner next to a window.

“Why do you like black coffee?” you ask him. 

“I’m not sure. I always drank it when I was growing up and throughout college… and honestly, I’ve never tried it any other way.” He responded, taking a sip of his coffee.

“Really?” you said surprised. “With how much coffee you drink, I’m surprised you haven’t ventured into new territory even once.”

“Not once.” He took another sip. You noticed him kicking his feet beneath the table.

“Do you want to try a sip of mine?”

He smiled, crinkling his nose up. “Sure, do you want to try mine?”

“I guess I’ll give it a shot, though I will say I’m not the biggest fan of black coffee, so don’t be mad if I don’t like it.”

“I can’t promise anything, I can’t even say I’m going to like your girly drink.” He was teasing.

“I’ll tell you what Spence. You like my coffee and I’ll buy you a croissant. I like your coffee, you buy me a croissant. Deal?”

“It’s a deal, y/l/n.”

You switched cups. He gave it a sniff before popping open the lid to see inside. Tensley, he took a sip. You saw his eyes bulge. Licking his lips as he brought the cup down, he wrinkled his nose once again. He brought the cup back up, taking another sip. 

“You know what, I think you owe me a croissant.”

You smiled at  him, before taking a sip of his old man coffee, you cocked your head to the side. 

“You don’t like it, do you?” He laughed. 

You quickly sat the cup down and jumped up from your seat. You walked up to the counter, and ordered one regular croissant. Returning to the table with the plastic container in hand, you tossed in down in front of him. 

He opened the container, and tore a piece of the pastry off. He took a bite, and attempted to slide the container to you. In the process, it collided with his cup of coffee which was still situated on your side, causing it to spill all over your blouse. 

“Oh my god, y/n, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, at least it wasn’t hot anymore.” You reach for the few napkins on the table, trying to dry yourself off despite knowing it wouldn’t do anything.

You were giggling, but Spencer didn’t find this one bit funny. He felt awful. You began to attempt wiping the table with the napkins, but were stopped by Spencer’s hand grabbing your damp-sleeved arm. 

“Hey, don’t worry about the table. I got it.” He gets up to go get napkins from the counter, before stopping in his tracks. He turns around and comes back to you, sitting in the chair using the sleeve of your sweater to stop the liquid from pouring onto your skirt and the ground. “Y/n, do you want to wear my sweater?”

This takes you a bit off guard. For a second, you forget your soaking wet with warm coffee. Your voice catches in your throat as you try to speak, but Spencer is already unbuttoning the two fastened buttons and sliding the sweater off his shoulders.

“You can go to the bathroom and change. I’ve got the mess, okay?” He hands you the sweater and makes room for you to move around him. You rush to the bathroom, trying not to leave a trail of coffee droplets through the lobby.

Turning into a stall, you immediately begin taking your sweater and white shirt off, tossing white one in the small garbage can. There was no way you’d be able to get the coffee stains out, and plus, the shirt was only $4 on sale at WalMart. Only left in your wire bra, you slip the brown sweater on. You button it all the way up, but as it’s a men’s sweater, it’s a little more of a V-neck than you’d like, especially since you were going to work soon. You tucked one side of the sweater into your skirt, letting the other side hang over to create dimension in your outfit and make it less simple. You toss your damp sweater vest over your shoulder and exit the bathroom.

Spencer was waiting for you when you came out. He’d gotten the mess cleaned up and was ready to leave. He grabs your hand, leading you outside the doors to begin your walk back to work. 

_____

next chapter: G is for Girlfriend

other parts: Spencer Reid A-Z Masterlist

view the masterlist in a calendar version! 

_____

a/n: sorry it took so long on this chapter, i've been pretty busy. hopefully i can get the next few out quickly as i hope to release part m (the christmas themed) on christmas day.

_____

Have Recommendations? visit my recommendations page to submit your suggestion, no matter how big or small!

_____

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[kathrynmhahn]

please help me save my cats life

today my 8 month old cat started peeing blood, like...straight up blood. it's in his urine, but there's very little urine, so its mostly just dark red blood. he's very lethargic, constantly throwing up, and not acting like his hyper weirdo self and i'm so scared he's dying or going to die if i cant get him immediate help. anyone who has had, or has, pets know that vets will charge you thousands of dollars to keep your pet alive and won't really do anything to help you UNTIL you can pay. unfortunately, i have no money. i've been homeless and moving around the east coast for the last few years and i'm just now living in a house and trying desperately to get on my feet. (i have $4 to my name)

i know there are other causes out there that need the money and deserve the money, but i really can not handle another tragedy in my life right now. i hate asking for money, but if you can spare absolutely anything and share this post, i would really appreciate it.

right now i'm looking to raise at least $800.

i'm going to have to be annoying and constantly reblog this so i want to apologize in advance.

if you can't donate anything, i completely understand, please just boost this post in hopes that more people can see it. ❤️‍🩹

TLDR: my cat is very sick, peeing blood, throwing up, and is very lethargic and not his usual self. i need $800+ to get him to the vet asap.

i'm not using gofundme or anything similar bc i've heard horror stories of not getting the money released in time or at all, so i'm sticking with regular money apps. i promise anything sent to me is going directly towards my cats vet bill. c/ashapp: $airikahj v/enmo: airikah-j p/aypal: @/airikah

please feel free to send me an ask or direct message with any questions you may have. ❣️

[br4tphobia]

ellie was embarrassed, her legs spread wide open infront if her ex-girlfriend, cat. with a pretty pink wand vibrator sitting on her over-stimulated clit, her head throwing back into your shoulder as you coo sweet praises in her ear. twitching and whimpering as she tries to close her legs, only to have your warning tone and your free hand stop her. “aht. keep em open, el. let her know who owns this pussy.” with your hand moving futher to play between her silk folds, inserting 2 fingers before giving her no time to adjust, flicking your wrist. “oh my— fuck waitwaitwaittt” ellie took in her bottom lip which made you turn up the setting on the vibrating. “let her hear you..looks like shes enjoying it, yea? y’so pretty like this..” your paise made ellie do as you told, letting out all her sweetened sounds infront of cat. looking up to her, just to see her pressing her thighs together. meanwhile, the urge to pee took over el’s senses, “y/n..im g’na..shitt wait i—“ cut off by her exotic moan, twitching and bucking into the palm of your hand working your magic. dragging the vibrator up and down on her clit slowly, “there you go..this my pussy ain’ it, el?” — “yes.. shit..” looking up once again only to see that cat left, a smiling creeping up on your face. ellie tried to move, stopping her once again. “that doesn’t mean were done..relax.” pecking her cheek before turning the vibrator back on, immediately having her twitching again, gripping on your thigh right next to hers. having your session interrupted by a few knocks.. how rude. turning the vibrator on max, still fingering her pussy sloppily. “ohh shit—! turn it ahh down..” she’d beg, only to not be heard though. “whats my name, baby?” pressing the toy harder against her clit, having her yelp out. “fuck! y/n …ohmyfuckingodddd” — “again.” your voice is sterner, seeing the shadow still at the door. it was obvious on who it was..guess cat could never get the hint. “y/n..!” seeing the shadow slowly walk away, turning down the level, giving ellie some time to calm down from how stimulated she was :(

[im-robins-bitch]

16+ (gn) Dating Eddie Munson is:

Sharing a big bag of chips and Eddie catching your wrist and sucking on your fingers to get off all the crumbs that are stuck to them.

Eddie sneaking up behind you, pushing his icy fingers up your jumper and laughing hysterically when you cringe and shove him away. 

Baking together and both of you shoving your fingers into the mix to taste it when the other isn’t looking. Taking turns to lick the spoon clean. 

Smacking Eddie’s ass every time he bends over. 

Trying to throw food into each other's mouths and then fishing crumbs out of each other's hair. 

Eddie saying ‘Good yawn’ or ‘Good burp’ 

Alternatively, every time you yawn for a long time he’ll stick his fingers in your mouth. 

If he’s too tired to make it to the couch after work, he’ll collapse on his knees in between your legs and face plant into your lap. 

He doesn’t have an ulterior motive, apart from when he does, he just likes to be close to you. He claims you recharge him. 

Fake wrestling

He likes to bend at the waist when he runs towards you like he’s about to tackle you, but instead, he lifts you off the ground and spins you around. 

He’s an embarrassment at the airport if you ever need to go somewhere. Going and Coming back. 

Going he’s a blubbering mess. 

Returning he’s a blubbering mess, plus he’s delivering a monologue like you’re returning from war. You have received a ‘thank you for your service’ before because of his dramatics. 

The first time you fly together, he won’t admit it, but he’s terrified.

Will always pretend you need to hold his hand, rather than him needing to ask for it. 

Wearing an old comfy pair of underwear with a small hole or tear? Eddie finds that hole and digs his finger in to make it bigger and bigger. Likes that it gives him easier access. Will pull you towards him by the hole.

Like’s to have his hand down your pants just for comfort. He won’t even do anything just rest/cup his palm against you. 

If your is hand in or up his boxers? He’s dead. In heaven.

Goes feral when you rake your nails down his thighs or his happy trail. 

Hair-washing nights morph into self-care days, helping with his curls and painting his nails. 

Insists he does your eyeliner if you’re putting any on. Will straddle your thigh like a heathen and pretend he’s not borderline humping it while holding a pencil dangerously close to your eyeball. 

He believes in love boners. 

Wants a cat, but you’re worried about the responsibility so you get fish to get into the habit of feeding something daily. 

You both have names for the racoons that live in the trailer park and will gossip about what you saw them getting up to that day

Air guitar contests

Eddie writing you love letters in detention

Walking Eddie to the bathroom at parties when he gets too drunk. Holding one of his hands, the other wrapped around his waist. 

Sometimes he has literally asked you to hold his dick while he pees because he’s either too drunk to do it himself or thinks it’s funny. 

He’s a little fucking gremlin,

Your little fucking gremlin,

You love it.

masterlist

[armandisdaddy]

Arrogance (Modern Au!)

(Daemon Targaryen x Fem Reader)

(Content/ Warning: 18 +, Age-gap, cheating, angst, swearing, violence, avoidance, p in v penetration, sexual innuendos, cat and mouse.)

(Summary: After finding out your boyfriend and best friend have been screwing behind your back you find comfort in the one person you cannot stand…there won’t be any sex in this chapter. But it’s coming…)

Chapter One

Today was you and your boyfriend Aemond’s third anniversary. You enjoyed the three years you spent with him and even the thoughts of marriage and children bounced around your mind. Things weren’t perfect but beyond everything you were still “happy”. Today your best friend Alys was throwing a party in your honor. You were getting ready deciding on a dark green dress that hugged you just right and stopped just above you knees and two slits that came up either side. You looked amazing and you knew your man was going to love seeing you in it. You both showed up together looking like the perfect couple everything was going smoothly as everyone clapped or the both of you and your best friend was there to greet you. She gave you both a hug. “Oh my god’s y/n…you look amazing.” She gushed over you as she past you a drink.

The night was perfect and you and Aemond danced the night away along with a few of your other friends. You had a few drinks and the liquor was starting to set in when you notice your best friend and your boyfriend were no where to be found. You shrugged it off not thinking about it too much and then you realized you had to pee. Stumbling into the bathroom you heard a couple enjoying themselves in the stall next to yours and for a moment you cheered them on until you recognized the man’s voice that was echoing off the walls. You’re heart started to pound and your head was spinning so you leaned over to see the shoes that were planted on the floor it was Aemond’s dress shoes and Alys’s dress pooled on the floor. Being as drunk as you are you gasped and finally your presence was noticed. “Oh fuck…y/n..” Aemond said and you quickly got the fuck out of there. Running and sobbing Aemond was fixing himself tailing after you and so was Alys. Everyone saw it all and as you can suspect the party was over you were in your car too drunk to move it but you sobbed with your head pressed against the steering wheel. Aemond and Alys had been begging you to let them in so they could gaslight you into thinking you imagined what you heard and saw but after the first three attempts didn’t work they started going at each other yelling and cursing.

Your eyes were hot from all of the crying and your head pounded profusely from the pressure. You noticed that it finally got quiet they had decided to leave. “Thank the seven.” But you were yet again disturbed by a knock on your car window. This time it wasn’t Aemond or Alys it was his uncle Daemon. You were surprised to see him of all people at your car checking on you. He made it quite clear the first time he met you that he wasn’t too fond of you and after that you kept your distance. You let your window down a bit. “What do you want?” He wasn’t he usual arrogant self. His eyes were soft while he looked at you and finally he spoke. “Do you need a lift? You’re too drunk to drive.” You wanted him to say something snarky so you could come back with some witty comeback but he didn’t. “Yeah…I guess I do..” Stepping out you left the keys to Aemond’s porche inside it It didn’t matter at this point if someone stole it good for them you thought. “So where do you want to go?” He asked and you started to cry again realizing you couldn’t go back to the apartment you shared with Aemond and you could even go to your best friend’s place. “Hey hey…look you can come to my house I have a room you can sleep in yeah? Does that sound good?” You nodded still sniffling softly…, “Why are you helping me? I thought you didn’t like me..” He sighed and shrugged the question off, “Don’t worry about that right now. Let’s just get you somewhere warm.”

Pulling up to his house you had never seen it before but it was goregous…and of course it was he’s a Targaryen. He was holding your heels for you as you walked in and quickly led you to the room you’d be sleeping in. “There is a bathroom in this room if you wish to take a shower or bath.” His eyes were wandering a bit…You did look amazing in that dress… showing off just the right amount of skin… he shook himself from his thought. “If you need a change of clothes I can get you one of my shirts and some sweats.” You nodded softly and took down your hair. He left for a moment and came back in with your clothes for the night. “Daemon…can you help me unzip my dress?” He nodded and you could feel the warmth of his hands on your back. Slowly sliding down your spin as he unzipped the dress stopping just above your ass. He cleared his throat and left soon after. You took a quick shower washing away everything away. You cried in the shower and even in the bed not getting a wink of sleep. By the time you finally passed out Daemon was waking you up with breakfast. “Come on sunshine I’ve got pancakes waiting in the kitchen for you.” You were groggy and irritated; your head was stilling pounding as if someone was tap dancing on your head. Daemon smiled seeing you in your natural element passing you your plate. You weren’t in the mood to eat but he stared you down and didn’t touch his food until you took a few bites.

“Could you possibly find your own place in a few days? I’ll be happy to help you get your things today and you can keep them here until you do.” You sighed and took a sip of your coffee he had ready for you., “No…I just finished college…and needed to start looking for a job…Aemond handled everything.” He hummed drinking his coffee and finishing his plate. “Alright, well I needed a new assistant anyway so you will be working for me. You will atleast need a month to get on your feet and be on your way yes?” You were still very confused. “I mean thanks for the job but why are you helping me…remember you said you thought I was a cunt…” He chuckled remembering the day he met you. “Yes I did say that well honestly I thought if I had ran you off you would be saved from the cunt…my nephew that is.” You scoffed, “Don’t you think “he’s not a good guy” would’ve been more affective.”, he smiled, “Yeah you’re right…I just wanted to be a bit of a dick I guess. Well, the weekend is over so your first day is tomorrow. Let’s go ahead and get your stuff.”

It took about 30 minutes for the two of you to get to what was soon to be your old apartment. You were met at the entrance with all of your stuff on the sidewalk with a small note it saying trash…mostly everything you had of any value was ruined. Now this pissed Daemon off and he went up there to have a small chat with his darling nephew. You were still trying to pick through things and fighting back tears when Daemon pulled you back to the car. “Daemon…my stuff.” He groaned in a low tone, “I will get you new stuff don’t worry about it. I’m cooking dinner and we’re getting drunk tonight.” He knew this was what you needed after all this so he made a five star dinner for the two of you and paired it with some fancy red wine. “Listen y/n I know you and I aren’t the best of friends right now and I know you’re going through a lot so I’m trying to give you a helping hand. From what I understand you are a very self sufficient young woman. My brother was considering giving you a position with our company if you didn’t know so I’m making the call to put you on our team also because I know it’s going to pissed Aemond off to have to see flaunting in and out of my office every day. So do not disappoint me, understand?” You nodded and without another word you toasted to a wonderful working relationship together. The food was delicious you had no idea Daemon had so many hidden talents…interesting. After dinner Daemon offered to watch movies with you and obliged. The wine was flowing and he had made popcorn. You two were watching comedies to keep your spirits up and you ended up leaning on his shoulder which he moved away from but he ended up letting you nuzzle into him. He enjoyed this more than he’d like to admit but quickly his mind was taken from such a sentimental moment when your hand started to wander and it all seemed so innocent your hand was laying on his thigh then it eased up his chest. His breath hitched within his chest and he looked over at you only to see you looking right at him he chuckled nervously and moved your hand. “If I’m being honest y/n I’d enjoy fucking you into oblivion…but I uhhh…believe it or not I don’t like taking advantage of women especially you. Maybe we should go to bed we have a long day tomorrow with it being your first day and all.”, you sigh softly a bit hurt by the rejection but he wasn’t wrong you were very vulnerable right now and you appreciated his honesty nonetheless. The next day was the beginning of an interesting work life with Daemon. You were awakened by him he was acting as your own personal alarm. It was five in the fucking morning. “Why the fuck are we up so early the office doesn’t open until nine?”, He laughed placing her work clothes on the bed neatly. “Well, I usually go for a morning run before work so I figured you’d go with me to keep your mind off of that cunt of an ex boyfriend of yours. Especially since you will be seeing him a lot more these days.”, your groggy face twisted into a grimace. “I forgot he works in the family business fuck…me…great. I’m not going on a run today. I’ll be getting ready and I’ll make breakfast for you, deal?”, you held your hand out and he hadn’t experienced your cooking yet, but he figured what could it hurt so he shook on it.

You took a well needed shower did a simple make up look with lashes, lip liner, and lip gloss. You made bacon, eggs, and waffles for Daemon and decided to look at the outfit he had left out. A rather sexy secretary ensemble for you to wear a white button up with half sleeves, a tight pencil skirt, black panty hose, and black heels. You didn’t know what to do with your hair so you pinned it up. By the time you were ready Daemon had already arrived and was in the shower. While you waited at the door he approached you with his white tresses slicked back and a suite tailored just for him. You were taken aback at how well he cleaned up and he was speechless seeing how well everything fit on you. This was going to be harder than he thought., “You look nice.” He said rather plainly trying to hide what he was really thinking. You nodded in thanks and now you both were out the door getting into his car. The ride wasn’t very long but by the time you pulled up it was about eight-thirty. “Perfect timing. I can show you around and get you in the loop before we get busy.”, He spoke in an elated tone.

You had only been in this place once, you had forgotten just how humongous it was inside. It was as if you were seeing it all over again. Your new boss was showing you around giving you a quick tour of where to find the coffee maker, printers, bathrooms, and now his office. Your desk was right next to the entrance of his office and you placed down your things. “So y/n I know this is all new to you so I won’t be to harsh, but I will be stern and mistakes can be made but not too many will be tolerated, understand?” You nodded quickly and he sent you off to get coffee. The doors were open and everyone was rolling in. And of course the first person you see was a familiar one. Aemond but he had a black eye and a busted lip…was this the result of the conversation his uncle had with him. You were certain it was and while you waited to use the keurig Aemond finally noticed you. He was at a loss for words seeing you here and looking as good as you did. “Y/n what are you doing here?” You decided to ignore him as if he wasn’t even there. You made Daemon’s coffee and went back to your wing of the building and Aemond followed until he realized who you were working for. He was fuming when he stormed into his office. “Why the fuck is she here? I know you don’t care for me that much, but after what just happened you want her to work here.”, Daemon spoke it a rather conniving tone, “Your father, my brother planned on extending a job offer to her and you knew this already. So you think just because you fucked up by screwing her bestfriend that we were going to leave her assed out after all she’s had to deal with being with you? You are highly mistaken, Aemond. If this is all you came to speak to me about you can get back to work. I need my assistant in here to help me with a few things.” Aemond huffed in irritation and left to go speak to Viserys.

Daemon called you into his office and you quickly entered. “You alright?”, He asked and you sighed holding back tears. “Listen it will get easier don’t worry about that bastard. If anything seeing him squirm should be fun.”, You smiled. “You know I never thought of it that way.”

to be continued…

They make quite the conniving pair don’t they..?

[lilypadlys]

Some assorted ghoul headcanons

If Phantom falls asleep on your lap, prepare to be there a while. Part of it is cat logic: if the cat sits on your lap you sooner die than move. The other part is the fact that Phantom sleeps like the dead. Once he’s asleep, you could literally tip him onto the floor and he wouldn’t wake up. His packmates have had to get creative. The time Phantom cozied up onto Cumulus’ lap while she was crocheting she just barely was able to grab her yarn ball out of the way. Before she could so much as sigh, he conked out. With his middle splayed over her lap, cheek smushed into a throw pillow, and legs on the opposite armrest; there was absolutely no easy way to ease out from under him. With a sigh she just stuck her yarn ball on one of his horns and got back to her project.

When Aether does the dishes, he purposely puts Dew’s favorite mug on the top shelf. Aether does it so he can watch the way the fire ghoul’s back arches and his shirt rides up when he grabs it for his coffee in the mornings. Better still when Dew wanders into the kitchen in just his boxers or sleep pants. Dew knows Aether does it on purpose and in retaliation he puts Aether’s mug in the bottom cabinets so Aether has to bend down to get it and Dew can enjoy the view of his ass.

When first summoned, fire ghouls drink way too much water all the time. The area of the pits they come from is hot and dry so any potable drinking water is to be consumed on sight because one never knows how long they’ll have to go without or who they’ll have to fight for it. As a result, every newly summoned fire ghoul will be territorial about their drinks and down buckets of water like their life depends on it. They end up going through a period of learning how much water their body actually needs and that that water is always going to be available. Omega had to explain to Ifrit several times that “No, it’s not normal to pee that much”, “Please, stop drinking out of the sink”, and “Please stop hissing when someone else uses the Brita”. Dew is quite happy to have missed that phase.

Quintessence ghoul’s have a strange affinity for bananas. Aether adores them in any form. Omega keeps a jar of banana flavored hard candies on his desk in the infirmary. Phantom likes the taste but not the texture. However, the day Cumulus baked banana nut bread, Phantom was in love. Whenever she makes it, she has to make two batches; one for Phantom and one for the rest of the pack (which they have to hide) when Phantom quickly demolishes his stash.

Sunshine often gets a huge burst of energy right before bed. Her packmates have gotten up for a late night snack or water to find her rearranging her bedroom furniture, cleaning the pantry, or even simply having a dance party in the common room in an attempt to tire herself out. On those nights, whoever finds her will make sure she brushes her teeth, gives her a few melatonin, and drags her back to bed with them. Fortunately the melatonin usually knocks her out and she’s able to sleep the rest of the night.

[umeoniii]

aot men beige flags

eren, jean, reiner , levi , armin , connie

!: sfw

（＾∇＾）

eren:

☆ makes weird voices.

high pitched, low pitched, shaky he doesn’t care.

like sometimes as a bit he just uses weird accents and stuff.

he’ll speak like a caveman for one day.

“me want ooga burga” he’ll scratch his head like one too

and you’ll just stare at him like, “this mfs crazy” bcs literally wtf is he on about?!

the next day he’s trying to sound french

“oui oui mon amour”

and he’s wiggling his brows and has his imaginary mustache in between his fingers.

☆ his next one is he’s kind of oblivious to a lot of things.

you can pull out the ugliest outfit known to man to test him and he’ll say “that looks so good baby”

not bcs he’s setting u up. no, because he doesn’t think that lime green ripped jeans and a orange cropped hoodie look bad together.

you’ll have to show him what fashion looks like and he’ll get better as time goes on.

jean:

the tickle monster.

☆ when you’re around him u have to watch your back. he’s serious about it.

u can have a super cute sentimental moment with him and he’ll pull it out.

“i really love you baby.” you’d say

“who else do you love, because i know you’re cheating on me with him.”

and you’re like WHAT.

“with who?!”

he’d pause and stare at you for a few seconds.

“THE TICKLE MONSTER!”

and he’d tickle you until you can’t breathe and almost pee yourself.

and after that you don’t trust him but then proceed to slip up multiple times.

u guys are gonna hate me for this next one…

☆ he does “the face” when he’s gonna kiss u

u guys know what i’m talking about

“the face guys make when they go in for a kiss”

his isn’t horrid, only because he’s attractive

sometimes he actually over exaggerates it to piss you off.

it’s not super horrible but it’s giggle worthy

reiner:

☆ he’s a cringe bf. unironically. it’s sweet but not all the time.

by cringe i mean “i just found out about periods, god it must suck to be a beautiful goddess :/.”

or he’s like

“hey! tell you’re period it can’t hurt you like that, it’s not cool!”

☆ he’s also a scaredy-cat.

behind all that muscle is a big baby.

he jumps at scary movies even when he knows what happens next.

cannot play something like fnaf with him

he will throw the phone and scream like he got stabbed in his chest.

he’s probably still scared of the dark but it’s kind of sweet idk. he literally cuddles with you at night like a mother and her baby. you’re practically holding him like a frail little princess, except he’s kind of the exact opposite.

this is actually kind of cute though..

levi:

☆ now his beige flag is that he can be SUPER sarcastic. ik he is.

he’s super snarky and sassy.

like he’s the type to tell what’s considered a ‘corny dad joke’ but instead he’d say it with a stoic face.

like if youre talking and couldn’t remember and say something like “remember when umm…” and you just sit there and think, he’d come back with “no i don’t remember when that happened”.

he wouldn’t laugh or anything.

i feel like that’s why it’s funny. he could make a childish poop or fart joke and it would only be funny bcs he looks like this 😐

he would own a stupid t-shirt that says something like, “find your patience before i lose mine”.

☆ he’s a karen as well. he’s not super bad but like at restaurants and stuff when his foods not right or the tables are not bussed…

i’d be in the bathroom crying my mascara off if i was his waitress

armin:

☆ he’s scared of animals.

this includes typical house pets like dogs or cats.

it’s bcs “they don’t speak , so you’ll never know what they’ll do next.”

his fear stems from one small thing that happened when he was younger.

a cat jumped onto his lap.

he thought it was trying to attack him and so he screamed and the cat got scared.

that’s it.

he can’t even visit the zoo because he’s scared the animals will break out. (he’s super serious about it, it’s not even something he jokes about)

he’s tried to like animals and it worked for a while.

until the dog started to play a little too much to his liking.

☆ also he just randomly informs you of random facts.

completely random.

you could be on the toilet and he’ll come in the bathroom like, “a shrimps heart is in its head…”

no “did you know?” or “isn’t it cool that?” he just says it.

if you ever go onto a game show you’ll probably win it with all the useless knowledge he’s given u.

connie:

☆ you could tell him the most god awful thing happened to you and he’ll be like

“wait, this reminds me of something that happened in something i just watched.”

he’ll proceed to whip out his phone and show you the tv show, news report, tiktok. whatever it was he saw.

this tends to happen to every experience that you have.

you could be held hostage and they’ll call him for ransom and somehow it reminds him of this one part of a tv show.

sometimes it’s funny sometimes it’s not.

☆ he sleeps like he hasn’t slept since the day he was born.

he hops into the bed and sits there for 1 minute before he starts snoring aggressively.

he looks dead, like actually…

sprawled out and snoring with his mouth open.

one time he slept with his eyes wide open and you shook him awake panicking.

he belittled you and was all smart and cocky saying “i would never sleep with my eyes wide open” even though he did.

he sleeps to the rain sounds with the thunder. but sometimes is so sleepy and forgets about it.

tagz!🐬: @hangesgirlypop , @yiugen , @heartshapedtearss

♡

a/n: heyooo! b4 u guys request it, im doing girls next ;). i just think this trend is the cutest thing ever, plus it feels good to write fluff. also im actually getting back to requests. like frl this time, i’ve been grinding non stop all night so i could be done by hopefully friday. feel free to request cute things u guys, i will absolutely write it! and also feel free to request other characters, i feel like u guys don’t request them bcs u guys don’t see them and so u think i won’t do them. trust i probs will!