#Cassandra took forever for me to figure out but I got it

[chloepleasestopdying]

I am honestly just using the dai AU for an excuse to do my favorite thing: make up random lore headcanons.

[softboo]

love me, ever so gently - part IV

pairing: austin x reader

summary: you recently moved to a new apartment, making some new eccentric friends along the way. but what you didn't expect was falling in love with a stranger. a stranger you somehow couldn't stop thinking about

words: 4.8k

warnings: depictions of alcohol, certain scenes that pertain to dark themes of domestic abuse in relationships, *minors please don't interact*

author's note: hiii here is the next part of the story... i genuinely have no words to describe how grateful i am that there are people out there who have fallen in love with this story as much as i have. i'm still debating whether or not i'll write more just because i still want to live in this world lol. but thank you so much for all your support. it really means a lot to me and i am forever grateful :3 hope you enjoy <3

previous part

part IV

you groaned as you woke up, yet again, to a blaring headache and the door being pounded on. and you couldn't figure out which one was coming from where. you slowly eased yourself up out of bed, which made you feel even worse, shuffling yourself along for a million years before you answered the door.

"wow... you look like you got hit by a bus again."

george's voice rang in your ears. you could've sworn you had your eyes open, but it felt like they were closed. you tried to glare at him, but everything in your face felt numb. cassandra and evelyn caught up with him and both exchanged a look of concern.

"george, i think we need to talk to her alone."

he glanced over at cassandra and then back to you, the joy in his eyes disappearing for a brief moment. he just nodded in response, obliging without fighting them. you suddenly felt this wave of emptiness as you saw him walk away, whispering to cassandra before leaving.

and a part of you wished you never heard it, but you did.

"get our favorite girl back. i don't see her anymore."

~ ~

the silence hung low between the three of you, as you swirled your spoon meaninglessly in the mug. you glanced down at yourself, feeling as if you've sat here before in this exact situation just a few days ago. but then again, when have they not tried to get you out of your apartment.

"my love, i think it's time for you to move on." cassandra began, her soothing tone compensating for the bluntness of her statement. you just aimlessly nodded to her request, which was something she grew familiar with after the third or fourth day.

your empty promises were piling up and it was only a matter of time before it actually had to have meaning behind it.

"come with us tonight to the movies," evelyn suggested, offering her hand for you to take. "it'll be a great way for you to get your mind off of him."

your heart sunk even deeper when they mentioned him again, that night flooding your thoughts as you were reminded of what was going to happen tomorrow. it was inevitable.

she was inevitable.

"please love, you need to get out of this apartment. you can't just stay here and wait until they come back."

you scoffed at such a thought, thinking of what a sight that would be seeing them come back together from the airport, pretending you were preoccupied with anything else that wasn't him.

evelyn's hand still laid on the table, waiting patiently for you to reconsider the option of coming. of just going with them for once instead of drowning yourself in another day of being alone.

you hesitated for a moment, glancing at cassandra and then to evelyn. the thought of him being reunited with her made your heart sting, but you knew being physically here when they did arrive would ultimately make you feel even worse.

so you took everything in yourself to consider the possibility of actually being okay again.

and you slowly let your hand fall into hers and gave the smallest smile in the world.

"okay. i'll go."

~ ~

"are you ready sweetie?" cassandra called back to you, as the three of them waited outside of your apartment.

you checked your reflection once more, letting your hair flow freely and naturally down to frame your face. and a maroon dress that cassandra and evelyn insisted that you wear.

and for the first time in weeks, you felt beautiful, elegant, and untouchable. like all those days of being alone and rumminating on your feelings dissipated into nothingness behind you.

like heartbreak anniversaries were no longer written on your calendar.

you stepped into some heels before meeting them at the door, blushing immensely as they looked at you.

"there's our favorite girl."

george's voice broke a little as he dramatically wiped his eyes for tears that weren't there yet. cassandra walked towards you, her hands taking yours as she gently caressed your cheek and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

"you look lovely sweetie," her voice giving you a familiar comfort to your heart.

"so do you," you smiled back as you all gazed at everyone's attire.

george insisted on wearing something formal, wanting to make your little outing a special occasion. according to him, it was a great excuse to wear his suit again. and according to cassandra, it was the only suit he owned, which was from their wedding day.

"alright you old folks, let's go!" george bellowed, letting out that same laugh from when you met him for the first time. cassandra smacked him in the arm before he responded with a sweet kiss on her cheek. evelyn offered her arm for you to hold as you all went downstairs.

and you didn't even look at his apartment.

~ ~

"you have everything right?" cassandra asked george, who was very insistant on being responsible for the tickets. the showing was for one of their favorite old hollywood movies, you weren't sure which, but you were as excited as them to see it.

when you all entered the old theater, the employees shot you a complete and utter face of confusion as you all roared into the empty area wearing the most elegant attire. not many people knew of the showing, which was why the entire theater was relatively empty.

as you all settled into your seats, a sudden wave of calmness came over you as it started to sink in that you weren't there to just forget about him. you were there to spend time with your friends as well. their voices echoed in such a big theatre, not even minding the few stares and looks they got from some of the people there.

"george you're stepping on me again."

"can you pass the popcorn please? no, i want the whole bucket."

"evelyn, i can't see anything. what are you pointing at?"

it wasn't long until the lights completely disappeared and you were swallowed by the darkness that surrounded you in the theater, all of you eager and excited for the film to begin.

that calmness and comfort slowly took over and you suddenly felt at ease with being there, with your friends, and the world you were going to enter inside that movie theater.

~ ~

"goodnight everyone!" you echoed from the top of the staircase. you vaguely heard a reply from evelyn who was on the second floor as the other two were already calling it early. you waved frantically at evelyn from the bottom, who mimicked that same overdramatic wave from the movie. you couldn't help but laugh.

"go to bed already! i want to sleep!" she screamed back at you, flashing a smile at your little figure from above.

you gave her one final goodbye wave for the night, feeling like an entirely new person after spending time with them. you couldn't even stop smiling as you replayed the little remarks all of you made after the movie ended. the way evelyn was so certain of her theory, while george laughed at how the romance didn't make any sense. and cassandra, she fell in love with the film as much as you did.

as you stopped at your floor, your heart dropped from your chest.

austin was there, sitting outside his door like he'd forgotten something. his hair looked disheveled, the blonde messiness matching his loose tie and unbuttoned dress shirt. it was the first time you'd seen him since that night, the memories drowning you in an endless sea.

"hey, are you okay?"

he looked up to find who spoke and you saw those oceans come alive once more, like a second home to your heart. his expression was as shocked and confused as yours, his eyebrows furrowed to try to make sense of you actually being there. after so many days of avoiding him, he had the right to contemplate if your existence was even real to him.

"yeah, i'm okay."

there was an emptiness there and something pulling at your heart. you didn't believe him.

"can i join you?"

"of course," and he moved over for you to sit next to him on the floor. his doormat being a cushion you were both sharing.

"you look nice... did you go somewhere?"

his low tone still sent ocean waves through your body, like he was inviting you all over again. something you convinced yourself for days that you never needed, but somehow he still had a hold on your heart. and you melted right into his hands.

"oh, thank you," your voice merely a whisper in the air, "i came back from the movie theater."

austin looked at you amused, a small smile forming.

"you wore a formal dress to the movies?"

you nodded, "yeah, because i wasn't feeling like myself for the past few days."

it was like you struck a chord in him because he turned to look at you, wanting to figure out what was making you feel that way. but he didn't know how to ask.

"and how do you feel now?"

"better."

something in the way you held yourself in that regard, knowing when to pick yourself back up. he admired that about you, wishing he could maybe do the same.

there was a shared silence between you both before he spoke again.

"do you remember that night... in your apartment?"

you felt everything inside you go numb as he mentioned it. because no matter how long you tried to forget that it happened, he remembered for you.

"yes..."

he let out a soft sigh, as you noticed the way he tensed up a bit. stiffening his stature and playing with the cloth of his dress shirt.

"did you really mean what you said? about my girlfriend..."

you closed your eyes at his statement, the way she still lingered between you two. you mustered up that same strength from before, a lie you repeated to yourself because he wasn't yours to begin with.

"yes, i meant it. she's lucky to have someone like you in her life."

something about you saying it again didn't seem to convince him at all.

"you say that but i don't feel lucky."

you turned to him, looking at his prominent expression of utter defeat. like he'd given up on something. you could see the oceans drying out in his eyes.

"what do you mean?"

and it was like he felt his bruises again, clutching his torso like he was protecting himself. he couldn't look at you.

"austin?"

you saw him soften a bit when he heard your voice, letting it sink in that he was here with you and not her.

you hesitated for a moment, knowing fully well you were going to overstep a boundary and meet him at the bottom of the ocean.

"does she hurt you?"

you felt your heart speed up in anticipation for his answer. he met your gaze for a split second before both of you turned to the elevator, hearing its normal ding.

and out came the last person you wanted to see.

his girlfriend walked out with her long dark red hair flowing effortlessly behind her. she was carrying her bags and screamed when she saw him.

"austin my love!! surprise!! i came back early!!"

a squeal that stung at your ears as she dropped her bags and flung herself into him, ultimately pushing you to the side. she eagerly covered him in messy kisses, like she was marking territory.

like she was marking property.

when she finally let go and austin gave her a weak smile, she eyed you with a suspicious look on her face. that somehow you offended her by merely your presence.

"i didn't realize there was help working late at night."

you clenched your jaw at her sudden assumption of your position. a fire igniting once more inside your chest and you wanted her to walk right through it.

"she's not an employee." austin stated firmly, his face tightening at her insult.

your eyes widened at him and how he held his ground when defending you.

"she's my—"

"well love, whatever she is, she has no purpose in staying here with you. let alone, no reason to be in your life."

she flashed you that creepy little grin that stretched too far on her face, pulling austin closer to her, tightening her grip thinking if she ever gave him a chance to breathe, he'd escape.

"not sure where you belong sweetie, but it's definitely not here."

she purposely shoved you to the side, dragging austin along with her. soon enough, she slammed the door on your face like last time.

and all that was left were her forgotten bags in the hallway, the blinding rage boiling inside of your heart, and the fire that lingered near the ocean.

~ ~

you stared at your ceiling, thoughts racing in your head of what you could've done. what else could you have said. you glanced over at your clock, sighing in disappointment as the numbers barely changed. it was exactly eleven minutes since you last checked, now reading a dreadful 2:16am.

you hated this feeling, of wanting to do something but not being able to. of wanting to save him from something that you knew he had to save himself from. cassandra's words from before rang right in your ears again:

are you doing this because you care about him or because you like him?

did there really have to be a difference?

you felt so frustrated that somehow after two weeks, he still had a space in your heart. no matter how many times you let the alcohol numb you sometimes or how many times you stayed in your apartment watching reruns of your favorite movies and shows.

it all ended the same. your heart was screaming at you for it.

and yet, just when you finally had a chance to drift off into sleep, you heard a noise.

you sat up quickly, facing where the sound came from. you glanced down at the clock, which barely moved, now reading 2:20am. you slowly lowered yourself back to bed dismissing the sound until it repeated again, multiple times.

it was a knock, faint but you knew what you heard.

you slowly got up from your bed, walking slowly to the main door, hearing that faint noise again. there was an occasional loud sound, but the smaller ones were more consistent.

as you slowly approached the door, it was like the stranger on the other side heard your footsteps and for a moment, you heard the sudden weight of something leaning on the door. you froze, but soon enough you heard the faintest voice in the world.

"i don't know if you're awake... but if you are, it's austin."

your eyes widened when you heard his voice, quickly opening the door for him.

and you saw him, dressed entirely in black. his hoodie covering his face a bit and his sweats covered in something that you couldn't really see. his breath stopped for a moment as he saw you, his entire body suddenly relaxing into you. his head falling on your shoulder as if his body was about to give out, his face nuzzling right at your neck.

and you felt this overwhelming wave of warmness hit you, not being able to hide the blush that appeared on your cheeks.

"i... i didn't know where else to go..."

your breath hitched at the realization. at the worst possible scenario. because everything you were thinking about was true. because it happened. and he was all the proof you needed.

you quickly shut the door behind you as he leaned right up against you. you wanted to be so careful with him, being in such a fragile state. you thought about putting him in your bed, but he couldn't hold himself up much longer and soon enough, he collapsed onto the floor leaning up against the door.

"i'm so sorry for..."

"you don't have to be sorry for anything austin... really. i mean it."

he just nodded, wincing at the minimal movement he made with responding to you.

you sat with him, gently taking his hood off from his face and bracing yourself to see what he had to endure before seeing you.

and you felt the tears come as you saw what was left of him.

his eyes were swollen, bruised. he had cuts all over his face that somehow went down his neck. there were more bruises down his arms and a decent amount of blood coming from each and every little scar that decorated his body.

but what made you feel even worse was the lack of water in his eyes. there were no longer raging oceans swimming with life or the blueness that covered the endless body of water. it was empty. dry. like a desert.

and yet, when he saw you looking at him, truly looking at his scars and still trying to find the beauty in him, he couldn't help but give you the smallest smile in the world. he noticed your eyes water and gently grazed his thumb on your cheek to wipe it away.

"don't cry... i'm going to be okay, i promise."

you wanted to hate him, that somehow even when he's the one holding all these bruises and scars, he still had the strength to comfort you.

but you couldn't hate him. not one little sliver of anything inside of you could hate him.

~ ~

austin woke up slowly, his head pounding in his ears as he rubbed against his temple. he had to blink a few times to realize that he wasn't in his own apartment at all. and somehow he fell asleep on the floor. he tried to get up, but noticed a shadow of someone next to him. and it was you.

and the moment he saw you, everything from last night came rushing through him. the stumbling into your apartment, the way you complimented his cologne, you kicking him out from trying to help you change, and the last thing you said to him before he drifted off to sleep.

"your girlfriend is so unbelievably lucky to have you."

it was something that should've initially made him feel grateful because it was true... wasn't it? so then why did it feel like his chest was suffocating on air?

the memories and the alcohol were mixing together, he couldn't make sense of his emotions. what all of this meant to him.

but what he did know was how much you meant to him. he just couldn't decide where you stood in his life yet.

he found it quite amusing that you wanted him to leave, that you were very adament that he couldn't sleep here. and yet, you collapsed right beside him on the floor.

he checked his phone briefly, a bright 4:32am appeared on the screen. he knew he couldn't stay here, but he also knew it would be rude to leave you on the floor.

and so, he gently crouched down next to you and tucked his arms right under you, lifting you up. making sure your head was leaning on his chest, he slowly walked towards your bed and laid you there under the blankets.

he looked at you for a moment before leaving, letting it sink in that you might not even remember where you fell asleep.

and a part of him hurt when the thought crossed his mind.

~ ~

"george... can i ask you something?" austin began as they finished packing up evelyn's cooking supplies from her latest class. george beamed at him, leaning against the boxes on the counter, waiting patiently for him to continue.

"of course elvis my boy! you can ask me anything!"

he hesitated before speaking, thinking it was too invasive to ask, but he had to know if what he was feeling was normal.

or if he was genuinely crazy.

"how did you know... you wanted to marry cassandra?"

george stared at him, his eyebrows furrowing to a point. the question took him off guard, something he never quite expected from austin, but he couldn't help smiling at the thought of his wife and how they first met.

"well..." his voice drifted to piece together all the right words, "i knew i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life when she took me as i am."

george's loudness became merely a softness when he spoke about cassandra and austin could feel that sense of love radiating off of his friend. george began animating his life with her, the way she always seemed to be there whenever he spoke about his passions, and how cassandra fully accepted him as himself.

"usually, people say they drift apart during a marriage because their partner changed. but for me, i just wanted to be there through every changing moment."

george gave him a warm smile, as his words weighed heavy in austin. he lingered on the thought, the possibility of fully letting himself dive into those waters. letting his heart sink into something completely unfamiliar, knowing somehow, somewhere, you would be there sitting with him right at the bottom.

willingly. voluntarily.

along with something else he wasn't ready to face yet, nor was his heart ready to resurface among calm waters.

"thank you..." austin drifted, his voice shrinking smaller and smaller as it disappeared into the walls of the kitchen. it wasn't long until he pulled george into a warm hug, fully appreciating the story his friend shared.

"anything for my boy, you know that."

george's voice slightly broke, feeling as if austin wasn't being fully honest with him or to himself rather. like there was something else hidden under those waters.

it wasn't long until george broke the kind gesture, holding austin firm right on the shoulders, a reminder of his strength. that there was something in austin that he wasn't yet ready to face.

"you're still going to the movies with us right?"

austin blanked at his question, scrambling for the words to answer. he wasn't sure if he should, but he knew that this was his only chance to see you before she came back into his life tomorrow.

that there was a sliver of a possibility that you would be sitting next to him again.

he let out a soft sigh and smiled.

"of course i am."

~ ~

she pulled austin, hard, her face burning with a fire that dried out the oceans in his eyes.

"and you had the nerve to make plans on the day i was coming back."

"i didn't ask for you to come early."

her emotions were boiling over now as she pushed him against the door, her face contorting into a scowl.

"and what does she even have that i don't? what's wrong with me then?"

she paced around the kitchen now, grabbing whatever glass container they had and throwing it on the ground. each one breaking into tiny little pieces.

and all austin could do was stand near the door and take it.

"tell me what's wrong with me then austin. TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG."

her screams echoed across their apartment, drowning him in an endless noise. he clenched his jaw as he mustered enough energy to say something back. because anything would be better than nothing.

"you never fell in love with me. you fell in love with my name."

she paused, her red hair messily laid behind her. her hand gripping the last few glasses they had left as she aimed it right at austin.

"your name? bullshit, i've been there through everything. you're MY everything. she's NOTHING."

"but you don't know anything about me."

and he knew he struck a chord when her eyes began to water. she screamed at him again, a high pitched screech that killed his ears. she threw something else at him, but it didn't matter. he wasn't looking anymore.

she approached him now, holding whatever else she could find to use against him.

"and what makes you say that austin?"

she scrambled to find anything as leverage to use against him, to show she still had power over him.

but she didn't.

"because you never chose me. and i will always choose her."

~ ~

you gently pressed the wet towel against his forehead, soaking up whatever was left of his scars. he closed his eyes to your touch, letting you take control of everything. your legs tangled into each other as you sat together on your bed.

there was something so natural with the way you took care of him, bandaging his wounds, and icing the bruises on his skin.

like you'd been doing this for years.

and he would let you do it forever if he could.

"austin?"

"yes?" his eyes fluttered open to your voice.

"you're not going back there with her right...?" your voice merely just a whisper, feeling as if your words were passing a boundary.

a boundary that you didn't know no longer existed.

he shook his head no, smiling weakly, still trying to remain strong in front of you.

"then stay with me."

your heart speaking faster than your mind could catch up and you panicked at the words. you were so preoccupied by how embarrassed you felt that you didn't notice how red austin had gotten as well.

"i mean... you can sleep on the bed and i can take the couch," you quickly corrected yourself and austin let out a small laugh. something you haven't heard in weeks.

"it's okay, i can take the couch. this is your apartment after all."

there was a calm silence between you two, as you slowly finished placing the last bandage on, pressing the adhesive gently on his skin. and as you leaned back to fully look at him, you could still see the marks that she left behind on him, even when you tried to cover it.

she still lingered in the air between you.

and because of that, your eyes began to water again.

austin quickly reacted, seeing the way you moved away from him. like you were afraid to break him.

"what's wrong?" his voice wavering as you searched through everything to find the right things to say. to find anything to say.

"i just... i don't understand people who hurt people, especially when it's someone like you."

the way you reacted swelled something in his heart and all he could think about was finding a way to comfort you. to take your pain away.

and so, he pulled you towards him, where you were tangled up into each other again. pain shot down through his body at the effort, but he didn't care. he just wanted to ease your pain.

his hand reached your cheek, gently placing a strand of hair behind your ear. and he leaned in to take away the distance between you two, as his lips met yours.

and he kissed you.

the kiss was so soft, so comforting. and you melted right into him like your heart had always wanted to for all those months, since the first time you met him.

he pulled you closer to him, as if there was even a sliver of something keeping you two from being together. he held your face in his hands, easing himself into you gently.

he was so afraid to hurt you, but there was something about the way you explored him, the fragility of your touch against his skin. it felt so unfamiliar yet comforting to his heart.

and yet, it broke yours.

he let himself get lost in you, the warmness surrounding him as you caught every little drop of water from falling into the abyss at the bottom.

the way your fingertips grazed each and every little scar, every bruise, like you were reassuring him. acknowledging its presence but knowing, it would never define him.

you slowly let go, fully gazing into his eyes and seeing those oceans coming alive again, just by the way he was looking back at you. and you saw something that you only wished to see months ago.

love.

his fingers wiped the remaining tears from your cheeks as yours just traced little circles around his, ending right at his lips again. your bodies tangled into each other once more, as you played with his hair.

he closed his eyes again to your touch and you saw him smile.

and it was one of the most beautiful things you've ever seen.

he gently caressed your cheek, gazing at you like he was afraid to lose you. like he was afraid to forget you.

"stay with me... please."

his voice wavered, as if he doubted that your heart would ever let you leave him.

"always."

[awgeezitsthetoiletnator]

your mind !!!!!!!! literally it's that its the desperate plea of them both being like this meant something to us both??? it didn't just irrevocably change my world view alone right? and now i've got to pretend to be normal about it because we are forever linked in the same circle like!?!?!?!

this is why i feel so unnormal about them both- Tracker being a crutch for Kristen when they were dating because her whole life has been her living a lie. She's moving in because she can't be with her parents but I'm sure she wonders if it's just because they are girlfriends. I wonder how Kristen feels about living in Mordred and Jawbone being one of her guardians (not even mentioning how she struggles playing like a child role- being that shield for her brothers and how we often see her square up to Sandra Lynn) now they aren't together, like does she feels out of place there? I also think that feeling of being out of place was echoed in the recent episode of oh Kristen's address hasn't been changed either- like none of the parental figures in Mordred did that for her- especially Jawbone who works at the school and would have know that was kinda important.

Similarly I think Kristen provided that role on Sophmore year (even being in a messy arc) to Tracker of being that support and the one who does listen to her. Like I wonder how Tracker felt when Adaine & then Fig joined the household- because she's no longer getting priority attention from Jawbone since he's so busy. Yes she's very independent but that's because she's had to be. Even looking after Jawbone before he got better- like they did live together she's probably seen the ins and outs of all his business. The way I see her definitely has a heavy influence from you recommending scream by beach bunny for Tracker because wow- just incredible no notes. Her just moving on to looking after Kristen- like to make herself feel useful and needed- like when she gets brought along for spring break she's like oh I thought you were going to abandon me. Like. Head in hands. My poor girl. (Tracker being an npc is so hard i need all her lore now brennan)

I think it's also why it's so like explosive with the withholding stuff about Jawbone because her and Kristen have become this codependent team because there is so much going on its like oh your my person right now and you still did this, you know all these things and yet my feelings weren't considered & were pushed aside.

Like even after this happens- Kristen then starts unravelling Tracker's religion through finding Cassandra. Which tears them apart. They are both so influential in each other's lives its so crazy.

Apologies for the ramble as this might all be so incoherent but i just have so many thoughts on them and their dynamics- but I think it's like the tragedy aspect of it all that is so aligned with this music. Like the greater the risk the higher the reward and all that- they are built up to be so life changing that the fall consistently follows them. Like we haven't spoke in months but I'm still happy that your religious uprising is going well- even in my commune with my own Goddess you still linger there too. (Not even getting into the Goddess being sisters it's just so much)

Like the Bang the Doldrums line of better off as lovers and not the other way around vs Kristen trying to be normal about calling them friends to her cleric teacher. Just rattling them in my brain for real. I also like Bros by Wolf Alice for them because it's such energy of like If i did come back would you still be there? I know it's selfish of me to ask but would you do it anyway. And definitely less emo but Renegade by Big Red Machine gives them so much. like specifically the post chorus and second verse. again sorry for the ramble but these new episodes are just making me think so intensely about them :P

please never ever apologize for sending such thoughtful asks to my inbox!! i’m sorry it took me so long to reply, but you gave me so much for think about…

- you’re so right about how layered and complicated kristen’s feelings on living at mordred must be now. they were probably a lot easier to overlook when she and tracker were together. the current status shift of “i’m living with my partner” to “i’m crashing with my friends” is wild to me. while i think sandra lynn and jawbone do their best to be good parents for the teens living in their house, there’s just so many of them that it’s probably be easier to parent the ones that usually lean on them for help (adaine) or show clear red flags (fig). (i know this is most likely because beardsley was the one who started the tremors bit during the last episode, but the way jawbone leapt up to protect adaine and fig but not kristen gave me pause. not because jawbone (or brennan for that matter) did anything wrong, but it made me wonder how many little things like that must happen every day in front of kristen and how she might feel about it). given kristen’s reluctance to their parenting and tracker’s personal, recent experience with leaving the church of sol, tracker probably seemed like the best person equipped to support kristen, even if it put her in a weird, uncomfortable corner where she is constantly caring for the person who is supposed to be her main carer as well - although it’s never as reciprocal as it should be. tracker leans heavily on her own experience to try and help kristen, which is why she works so hard to support kristen in establishing her church. she wants kristen to experience the deep, primal connection to YES!? that she experiences with galicaea, but it’s not the necessarily the same situation as kristen is the sole cleric responsible for her gods. due to how much is resting only on her shoulders, kristen’s issues always seem to eclipse tracker’s, but that doesn’t make it fair. tracker tries to help in the way she knows how and it’s still not enough. i’m so excited to learn more about why tracker wants to talk to kristen in the present day. in part, it’s probably because at some point they will be living in the same house again and they should be on good terms. but i also wonder if tracker sees the same pattern with kristen’s gods that cassandra does, and wants to offer kristen an out of her current situation by asking her to join the wolfsong revival. i don’t think there’s any universe out there where kristen would have ever chosen galicaea over cassandra when that path was first offered to her in sophomore year, but tracker could argue that lots of things have changed since that initial offer. in joining her, kristen would be one of many clerics and share the burden of responsibility for keeping a god alive. and maybe that’s a way they can actually be together again. 👀

- kristen’s aversion to being parented is so fascinating to me that it needs to be its own list item. it feels so relatable as an experience of an eldest daughter who’s been parentified for longer than she can remember. because i don’t even think it’s an aversion to being parented really - i think she’s expecting to be treated as a child in a way that’s familiar to her. when you combine kristen’s eldest daughter position with her status as the golden child due to her connection to helio, it’s not a far reach to say that the applebees treated kristen closer to another adult in the family than a child when she lived at home. i’m guessing she was privy to way more information and it was her job to shield and distract her brothers from it or filter it in a way that her parents approved. this is one of the reasons why i think she struggled so much while questioning her faith - her parents had always communicated with her in a straight and simple fashion and this suddenly shifted to unsatisfactory, emotional answers to her questions. (granted, i don’t think any answers the applebees would have given would be satisfactory based on how stuck they are in their worldview, but they jumped really quickly into just shutting kristen down instead of actually hearing her out) i think she’s seeking out that kind of straightforward parent-child relationship she used to have with her parents when she approaches sandra lynn after the tryst with garthy, like “tell me what’s going on and we’ll find the best way to share this with the rest of the kids.” i know that moment is followed by a “classic ally chaos moment” of kristen asking for whiskey, but i wonder if there’s a way to recontextualize it here. maybe she sees herself falling into an old pattern. maybe she can’t resist the temptation of actually being treated like a child instead of a pseudo-adult. maybe she’s worried that whatever answer sandra lynn could give her isn’t worth her positioning herself like this. no one wants sandra lynn and kristen to bond this season more than me i’m awake at night wishing as hard as i can believe me when i say this but i do think that she’s still trying to be a shield to the best of her ability from afar. i think the underlying question behind kristen’s decisions now when it comes to her brothers is “how do i turn the selfish action of leaving them behind into the best decision for everyone in the end without compromising my own autonomy or putting them in a situation where they get hurt?” she stays away from the applebees house so that her brothers don’t have to deal with the tension she would inevitably bring with her. she leaves them gold but without a note so her parents can’t interrogate them about their contact with her. and even in the last episode - choosing to simply confuse her parents and keep her cool instead of actively arguing with them is interestingly as calculated as it is chaotic because she probably comes off as less of a threat to bucky’s devotion to helio and more as a neutral eccentric. for now, it’s easier on everyone in that house if she is cast as someone whose head isn’t screwed on straight rather than a complete villain.

- i too would love to know more about tracker. all of your questions about how she might have felt when jawbone’s attention shifted from her to adaine and fig are right on the money. add all the codependency with kristen to the mix, it makes me wonder if tracker feels like she missed out on having deeper, possibly sisterly friendships with adaine and fig. i think trackerbees being so joined at the hip resulted in her holding fig and adaine at arm’s length as “kristen’s friends” as opposed to new family members. it’s telling that she only chose to leave mordred once she was certain that she could trust that jawbone would be safe with the people surrounding him AND that they were taking care of him as much as he was taking care of them. i don’t think she was waiting for something to go wrong per say, but the fact is that something DID go wrong and her instinct to hang around was justified. she watches sandra lynn and jawbone reconcile and that point in time happens to coincide with her decision to start the wolfsong revival and then she’s finally ready to leave with ragh at her side - the only other teen she allowed herself to get close to probably by accident bc they spent a good deal of time together when the PCs were off on bad kids only mini-missions during spring break. (also how are they going to share ragh. i’m hoping it’s all cordial in the end but how do you share a person who was a bodyguard / confidant for one of you but also was the cofounder of the lgbtq+ student union / honorary party member for the other for much longer than that. how do you do that) i’m so curious about her place in the birth order, but given that we’ve never heard about any siblings, i’m inclined to believe she’s an only child and it seems to fit. i’m an eldest daughter with a couple of only children as best friends and the dynamic of how straightforward tracker is in her actions while kristen is constantly playing 4D chess in her head to figure out the best solution for everyone rings very true for me. we know that her parents kicked her out after she was bitten, but she didn’t stray super far - not even outside the same pantheon of gods. granted, I think the lycanthropy made galicaea a natural fit for her, but i don’t think the journey to get there took as long as kristen’s journey to YES!? two sides of the same coin and all that

- ANYWAYS. the music of it all. i completely agree with your assessment of the tragedy and risk that emo music usually lends itself to, but i also like your other recs here! i was racking my brain trying to think of where i’d heard bros before - it was featured in the life is strange prequel (that also happens to center around another tragic sapphic couple). i absolutely love renegade for them and it made me think of “the 1” - another swift / dessner collab that feels very of the moment for them. i think about them a lot when i’m listening to adult mom. most songs i feel apply directly to one or the other, but i feel like “checking up” from their most recent album feels very attuned to their relationship right before they broke up when tracker was first on the road.

for anyone who has made it this far down, thank you for coming for my ted talk! i guess i have a lot more thoughts about these two than i knew. thank you again @sabrirene for sending this in!

[dove00]

Stephcass wedding short?

(Hi! Thank you for the ask! I love StephCass! They’re awesome! I hope you (and everyone) enjoys the story!)

Send me a wlw and nblw dc ship and I’ll write a story for it!

No warnings—other than a lot of fluff.

1 month before the Wedding

“I personally think it would be hilarious to sit Bruce and Ollie together.” Steph said with a smile and a mischievous twinkle in her eye.

Cass laughed, making Steph’s smile widen.

Cass moved the chair to put Ollie next to Hal and Dinah. Barry was also at that table, so that’s going to be fun.

“Compromise.” Cass said.

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Tell me again.”

“I love you.” Steph said with a kiss on Cass’ forehead.

“I love you, too.”

1 week before the Wedding

Cass can handle a lot, but when the person marrying them got sick, the florist quit, and the bakery won’t call them back, Cass feels herself start to panic.

Barbara must see it on her face because she promises Steph and Cass that she’ll figure something out and just worry about their vows.

The vows.

Cass has never been good with words, especially in front of so many people. She’s sitting in front of her computer and trying to think of what to say. She loves Stephanie—like she’s never loved anyone before. Cass types, deletes, types more, closes the computer, then gets out of the chair.

She stretches and starts dancing around the room.

When she’s out of breath, she stops and sits back down with an idea.

The Day of the Wedding

Steph has no idea how many favors Babs had to call in but she’s not complaining.

The wedding is outside and there are sunflowers and tulips all around them.

There’s bouquets, flower statues, and rose petals on the ground in the center. She sees the cake in the kitchen.

“Not half bad, huh?” Babs said, appearing behind her in her chair.

“This is great. How did you…”

“I have my ways.”

“What about the official person?”

“He’ll be on time.”

Soon, it was time and Steph watched Tiffany Fox walk down the aisle with flowers, their courts, and then Steph and finally Cass. Steph reached the end and looked at Dick.

She looked back at Cass and nearly started crying.

She looks beautiful. She always looks beautiful, but especially with that smile. Even in a room of people, it feel like they were the only two in the room.

They held hands.

“You may be seated.” Dick said. Everyone sat. “I know you love each other but nobody wants to hear it from me, so it’s time for the vows. Steph?”

“Cass. We didn’t have a love at first sight but our love story is still my favorite. It’s filled with tragedy and pain, yes, but also filled with so much love. You are my rock, my closest friend, and the love of my life. I promise to keep loving you forever. We will find each other in every time, place, and every life and I love you.”

Cass squeezed her hands and then let go. She pulled out a paper from her suit and gave it to Dick.

“I have trouble with words so…” Cass trailed.

Dick opened the paper and began reading. “Steph.” He said and Cass got in her first pose. “Words have never been my strong suit.” Cass started dancing. “So I’ll have to show you through dance. My life has been defined by hurt and pain before I met you. Since then, my life has been filled with friendship and later love. You helped me accept all of myself. When I look at you, when I hear your voice, I am filled with joy and my heart is full. I promise to love you even when death tries to separate us. I will find you. I love you.”

Cass stopped dancing and took a breath. She took Steph’s hands back and Steph squeezed them.

Dick smiled. “If there is anyone who has reason to object on why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.” Nobody spoke. “Then may I have the rings?” Damian gave him the rings, who gave it to Steph first. She held Cass’ hand. “Do you Stephanie Brown take Cassandra Cain to have and to hold, to cherish forever?”

“I do.” She put the ring on her finger.

“Do you Cassandra Cain take Stephanie Brown to have and to hold, to cherish forever?”

“I do.”

“Then it is the power vested in me and the internet and the state of New Jersey that I pronounce you wife and wife. You may kiss.”

The kiss had everyone jumping to their feet with cheers and applause.

Cass and Steph walked down the aisle and Cass caught a hint of her mother hidden in the forest. Her mother smiled and disappeared in the next second.

~~~~

Inside, the reception was really entertaining.

Too bad Cass and Steph snuck away to make out under the stars before they had to go in.

“No! Barry, put down the fork!”

——

(Hope you enjoyed!)

[the-coffee-fandom]

Thanks to @abyssal-ali for the tag! This took so long to compile lol

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first fic you ever published there, the last fic you published, any fic that you wrote for a fandom/ship only once, your favorite fic you wrote in the fandom/ship that has the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonized over the most, the fic that sprang fully formed from your mind without any effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason.

Uh oh 😅

❥ My first fic was actually a disgustingly long word doc that glitched out my computer and someone deleted 😔 just for a fun fact ✨

❥ My first fic would be Will you be my fairy tale?

𓍊𓋼𓍊 Agents of SHEILD 𓍊𓋼𓍊

❀ Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa

✐ Set in 7x07, beginning of 8. Daisys in the healing chamber and Daniel Sousa decided to stay there with her. Just a cute little snippet of what he was up to while he was waiting for Daisy to arise from her slumber/healing.

❥ Last fic published was Dreaming Of Anemone (though my last work published was HaiBOO but it’s an original work)

𓍊𓋼𓍊 Maribat 𓍊𓋼𓍊

❀ Bio dad au

✐ The Wayne's might have been public figures, but there's a lot of mysteries behind those grand closed doors. Mr. Wayne for one was quite suspicious. They were hiding something and Marinette would figure out what. Even if it exposed a secret or two. Identities weren't the only thing they were hiding.

Flowers can kill after all.

❥ A fic with a ship I’ve only written once is Coming Home To Peaceful Disaster

𓍊𓋼𓍊 Maribat 𓍊𓋼𓍊

❀ Luka Couffaine/Marinette Dupain-Cheng/Damian Wayne

✐ Damian is so tired, all he wants to do is come home, have a cup of his girlfriends famous hot chocolate, and fall asleep in his loves arms.

But this isn’t too bad either.

❥ My favorite fic. That’s a hard one. I think it have to be Dreaming of Anenome despite its incomplete status but since that one’s already on this list I’ll promote another: Death Bouquet

𓍊𓋼𓍊 Maribat 𓍊𓋼𓍊

❀ Cassandra Cain/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

✐ It's hard to figure out whom your heart longs for when you've spent so long ignoring it. Letting the flowers bloom in your throat as you struggle to breath always left wondering.

Marinette lived her days in Pairs, her eyes on Adrien. But...was that truly what her heart wanted? Or was it a face she hadn't seen in a long time but still haunted her thoughts like the scorch marks left after a fire.

❥ The fic I wish more people would read is Rose Gold Eyes

𓍊𓋼𓍊 Maribat 𓍊𓋼𓍊

❀ Selina Kyle/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

✐ The rooftops were often silent at night, the streets were where havoc rained.
The rooftops were often silent at night, a cat endlessly chasing darkness.
The rooftops were often silent at night, and so that’s where she lay.
The rooftops were often silent at night, so was her suffering.

❥ The fic I agonized the most over is literally any fic in my Flowers Aren’t Always A Love Language series (especially Dreaming of Anenome) because I always try to put as much flower language in as possible to put a story within the story. Otherwise it’s An Angel With Demons Wings. I wrote that to get back into writing after a tough time and put a lot of pressure to get it perfect for my wonderful friend @tylindel whom I love. I did a lot of dancing research and made art to go with it.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 Maribat 𓍊𓋼𓍊

❀ Damian Wayne/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

✐ “They call you a demon but all I’ve ever seen in you was an angel.”

“Even in my worst moments?”

“An angel with anger issues.”

❥ The easiest fic is From Your Favorite Chaos Gremlins. I was spouting ideas like a sprinkler and was really ahead of my writing partners to the point they couldn’t keep up with me. I got overexcited and wrote all but one line of the second chapter. Of course this fic has ended early despite all the ideas left over as authors split so it remains forever unfinished.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 Maribat 𓍊𓋼𓍊

❀ Platonic Marinette Dupain-Cheng & Tim Drake & Damian Wayne

✐ Family is defined as a group of people related to one another by blood or marriage.

None of them were related by blood nor marriage nor any magical force, only their own love for one another.

Family to them was each other.

And all it takes is a pinch of coffee and a whole lot of chaos.

On the streets of Gotham, the chaos gremlins reign.

❥ A work I’m proud of is Hold Me Tight Till Morning Light. Originally written for the lovely @tylindel ’s birthday, I wasn’t sure how much I liked it though but @tree-reads really helped my confidence in it with her appreciation of it and it makes me love it too. Otherwise it be Dreaming of Anenome or anything in my Flowers series because I work hard on them and I love hanahaki so much.

𓍊𓋼𓍊 Maribat 𓍊𓋼𓍊

❀ Damian Wayne/Marinette Dupain-Cheng

✐ Sometimes your demons take control of your body and mind, you never had full authority over yourself as your plagued with memories time and time again, filling your head with thoughts you'd rather rid. Sleepless nights were always in the cards. But that's why there's always your rope, your light, your love, your life, that will be there to pull you back from the darkness.

OR

3 times Damian helped Marinette with her demons and one time he didn't have to.

❦ My Ao3: The_Coffee_Fandom

❦ My Insta: the_coffee_fandom

✮ No Pressure Tags: @tylindel @tree-reads @tim-drake-is-underrated @timinette-is-best @velveteenshadow @verymuchimmortalcat @the-witches-you-couldnt-burn

[sanssouci-sims]

jumping on the reaper's rewards bandwagon

Hey hey! It's about time I posted content from my own game, don't you think?? Well here ya go - a break from all the CC finds I keep spamming.

So the "Reaper's Rewards" event is a thing going on now. I saw quite a bit of people in several Sims 4 subreddits showing off their goth/emo/vampire/that kind of dark aesthetic sims they're using to participate in the event (with a few of them also romancing and having kids with the Grim Reaper as a result), so I thought I'd contribute my own character!

Sanguinaria Addams ("Gwen" for short) is going to be the Grim Reaper's little assistant in this event! I've actually shown her before in a previous post where she happens to be the girlfriend of Cassandra Goth. She's actually my Addams Family fan character, though she's kind of a general, all-purpose character as well. She's a mall goth who loves to mix her love of 'girly' things like fashion, hair styling, and makeup with her interest in all things dark and macabre.

She's also quite the enthusiast in seeking out supernatural creatures, including the Grim Reaper himself!

I took a pretty long break from the game, so Gwen had quite a bit of catching up to do with a bunch of weekly tasks that have already been released. ^^;

First, Gwen got some mail from the Ambrosia Society Newsletter, which basically told her to start planting snapdragons so she could harvest and cook with them to make ambrosia. She planted a snapdragon as well as a lily, and did a bit of research on them. She learned a lot!

After that, Gwen figured she needed a break from research for bit, so she decided to head to the Willow Creek Archive Library to just chill and read just for fun. While there, she ran into her girlfriend's little brother, Alexander! Poor kid was all alone, lmao. He seemed to be having fun playing on the computers, though!

yall remember playing games on the library computers when you were kids?? i know i did irl ahahahah

Gwen and Alexander got along well (they had good compatibility!), so she figured he might be interested in what she'd been researching........ though she tried not to mention anything scary or related to death/the Grim Reaper.

Gwen: "Fishing, huh? That's cool. Seems like you know quite a bit about the stuff meant to make you live forever."

---

I just thought it was pretty cute how Alexander was so happy to talk with Gwen. Such a pure boy, protect him at all costs. (and hope he doesn't go bald when he ages up into a teen)

After a bit, Mei Prescott (the principal of Copperdale High School) showed up and Gwen figured she might as well talk to her too. I imagine she and Cassandra went to Copperdale as students and only really saw 'Mrs. Prescott' one or two times for minor misdemeanors (mostly not following the dress code), but were otherwise good in their classes and graduated with decent grades.

Unfortunately, good old Mrs. Prescott didn't seem too thrilled to engage in such a 'trivial' conversation with her former pupil. She told Gwen what she already learned from Alexander, after all.

Then again, it could have been worse: if Gwen hadn't changed into a more 'proper' outfit, maybe Mei would have yelled at her even more for dressing inappropriately and 'not learning' from the times she spent in her office.

...Or maybe it's already kind of bad, considering Gwen thinks good old Mrs. Prescott is old and used up, LMFAOOOOO

also thanks game for reminding me to turn off the attraction system, it always bugged me when my otps/favorite couples didn't find each other attractive

---

Finally, Gwen spoke with the librarian...

...who also basically just told her what she already learned.

So we DEFINITELY gotta go fishing in order to make ambrosia. THANKS, GOT IT

Peep a wild Katrina Caliente in the background lmfao

---

Finally, after cooking a recipe (you actually have to be level 3 or higher and I just maxed out Gwen's cooking level with cheats so it was more convenient lol) and replacing her old record player with the "Grimophone", Gwen got to summon and meet the Grim Reaper himself........ without having to sacrifice another sim!!

I think I actually took the above screenshot because Gwen was sharing melancholy thoughts with Grimmy (she has the "gloomy" trait) and I just thought it was funny how he looked super shocked about it. Go figure, the harbinger of death and despair itself acts all surprised Pikachu at a goth girl (probably) talking about death.

or maybe she just divulged her self-insert fanfiction she'd been writing with him in it.

Did I mention Grimmy showed up in a flirty mood??? 😂

I'm going to be posting more about Gwen's adventurers as the Reaper's little assistant, so stay tuned!! Maybe I'll file these under their own tag, lol.

Next Part

[kittyofalltrades]

Hi for Ficmas can I request.

Benny+fluff+Fake dating for an office holiday party

Office Party Love

Benny is your date to the Christmas office party

Word: 1771

Beta: myself I can't spell sorry fam

Warnings: Not a single one in sight

You’d been waiting near the entrance to the building for a half hour for your best friend Benny to show up. He worked in the same building as you but not with you, so you knew the promise of free food and drinks would be enough to lure him back to the building. Once you spotted him you pounced, pulling him to the nearest empty conference room.

“Quick you’re my date tonight,” You rushed out.

“I feel you started that conversation in the middle,” Benny told you with a sweet smile.

You groaned and ran a hand over your face. Apparently you hadn’t been clear with your intent. “Cassandra made a fuss about me showing up to parties alone. And since you don’t work in my department I need you to pretend to be my date tonight,” you explained quickly. 

“Cassandra? The one you said kept accidentally crushing your lunches?” Benny asked curiously. 

“Yes her, but since she’s enlisted others I’m kind of in a jam, I can’t just show up alone. And since you’re gorgeous and single, I figured I’d ask you,” you told him. 

He knew all about your ongoing feud with Cassandra and how much you hated her. That you were willing to entertain her at this Christmas party meant there was more going on than you were telling him. Benny reached out and captured your chin making you look up at him. “What aren’t you telling me?”

Your breathing changed and skin warmed at the touch of his hand and for a second you forgot how to speak. When you found the words, they came out softly and almost painful. “For Secret Santa, she got me a speed dating pass and a card that said maybe now I’ll find somebody for the holidays. And it just got to me, I didn't want to show up alone just to hear her tittering about what a loser I am.”

Benny dropped your chin and pulled you into a tight hug. “Oh Bumblebee, why didn’t you tell me sooner? I’d have straightened her out,” Benny whispered gently. The old nickname that he used for you was almost as comforting as the hug.  

You sank into his arms allowing his body heat to seep into you and bring you comfort. “I thought I could handle it. I thought if I ignored her she’d stop, but it just made things worse.”

You stepped out of the circle of his arms with a small sigh. You wanted to stay there forever in the safety that was Benny, your best friend and first love not that he knew about that. Tilting your head back made it easier to meet his baby blues eyes, so you could give him a smile that you hoped inspired confidence. 

He took your hand pulling you out of the conference room and to the party room. “I’ll tell you what Bumblebee, this party, with the two of us, is going to be great.”

You smiled widely at him. You knew you could always count on him to make things better. He pulled you to the back of the conference room and to the party room. They decorated it with twinkling lights, balloons and a half dozen Christmas trees making it feel more festive than usual. You pulled him deeper into the party room finding tables groaning under trays of food and drinks. 

“Whaddya think of the spread?” you asked while giving a wide sweeping gesture at the table. 

Benny didn’t have time to answer before Cassandra stepped in front of you, blocking the food and drinks. Cassandra’s permanent sneer was firmly in place as she flicked her snake green eyes between you and Benny. You watched as she sized him up and decided that beautiful Benny was just her type. And you couldn’t fault her, she was built like a model with full lips, long brunette curls, a pert little nose, and an hourglass figure that gave her a leg up in the dating pool. 

“Well, who have you brought here tonight?” She asked without pulling her eyes off Benny. 

“Ben. Boyfriend and you are?” Benny asked like the proper gentlemen he was. 

Cassandra smiled at the introduction, clearly ignoring the boyfriend portion. “I’m Cassandra but you can call me anytime.”

You stepped between Cassandra and Benny forcing her back a few steps. “I don’t think my boyfriend wants your number.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes  but sauntered away all the same. You couldn’t believe her audacity, to offer her number to the man that literally introduced himself as your boyfriend. You glared after her for a few seconds before Benny’s nudge to you shoulder brought you out of the angry thoughts you were having. 

“Come on, Bumblebee, it’s party time,” he told you happily like the entire interaction didn’t happen.   

The next few hours were like a dream. You spent time on the empty dance floor dancing with Benny, fast and slow songs alike. Laughter surrounded you while he twirled you across the dance floor, taking full advantage of the wedding dance lessons Will paid for. When a slow song played and he pulled you close your heart almost burst out of your chest as the scent of leather and his cologne surrounded you in a smell that was uniquely Benny. He swayed with you and for a few seconds you let yourself pretend this wasn’t a fake date, or that tomorrow you’d have to go back to pretending like he didn’t mean the entire world to you.

After the last dance you pulled away from Benny, to grab a drink from the table. After all the dancing and fun you were having, you had worked up a thirst. 

“Grab some food and meet me at our table,” you threw over your shoulder as you walked away. It shouldn’t take either of you long to retrieve your respective items so many you could meet in the middle. That was the original thought until you reached the drink table and had to fight your way to the drinks. It took ten minutes to reach two bottles of water and a can of Benny’s favorite soda. 

Your table was situated away from the dance floor and partly hidden by balloons so that you didn’t have to face the evil stares from Cassandra when you sat down. But that didn’t stop voices from carrying to you. Cassandra’s voice followed by a deep rumble from Benny. You carefully walked closer to hear what was being said.

“-and she didn’t mention you before today so I know you’re lying about dating her,” you heard Cassandra say confidently. “So just give me your number and she’ll never have to know.”

“She will know because I’ll tell her. I will not break the heart of the woman I love because you are a low class mannerless woman that tries to make people feel inferior,” Benny growled. “You are in no position to replace her in any shape or form. So how about you leave both of us alone before I break my mama’s heart and insult a lady.”

“You two are made for each other,” Cassandra hissed while she stormed away. 

“You say that like it’s an insult darlin’,” Benny called after her before dissolving into a fit of laughter. 

You stood there listening to him chuckle taper off before he called out to you. “You gonna hide behind the balloons all night, Bumblebee?”

Panic filled you at being called out for hiding but stepped out, anyway. You offered him the water and can of soda to him suddenly feeling shy. You didn’t know how to handle what you’d heard of his confrontation with Cassandra, so you sat across from him and poked at the shabby sandwich he pushed towards you. While you took a bite of your sandwich, you tried to process what you’d heard. 

“Aren’t you going to ask?” Benny asked suddenly.

You finished chewing thoughtfully, giving yourself time to come up with an answer that wouldn’t break your heart. “I figured you just told her whatever would get her away from you.”

Benny shoved his half-eaten sandwich away almost angrily and dragged his hand through his dirty blonde hair. “You really think that?”

“Benny we’ve been friends forever, and you gave no hint that you cared for me beyond that.”

“How was I supposed to Bumblebee? By the time I realised I cared, you already found somebody. That guy Beau? Or Sam after him? What about Garrett? How was I supposed to watch my first love go off with other men while I stood on the sidelines and told her everything was fine?” Benny asked softly.

“You were supposed to stop me, stupid,” you growled at him. “I don’t know how you’ve survived this long being so damn du–” 

Benny’s lips slotting against your stopped your words. He cupped the back of your head pulling you closer making you sigh softly and part your lips for him. You brought your hands to his broad shoulders not sure if you wanted to stop him or pull him closer. A sound of disgust over his shoulder had you pulling away in an instant remembering you were at a work party. 

“That behavior isn’t appropriate for a work function,” Cassandra tutted. 

“Neither is attempting to steal someone’s boyfriend you no good two faced twat yet here you are,” you hissed back. You didn’t have to look at Benny to know he was beaming at you. 

“I’m your manager, you can’t talk to me like that.” 

“Can and did. Bye,” you waggled your fingers at her and stood up lacing your fingers with Benny’s. “And since you’re my manager, you shouldn’t have a problem dealing with the 18 clients, the spreadsheets, the time cards and the ordering schedules because I quit.”

You pulled Benny out of the party room leaving Cassandra sputtering in your wake. You might have quit your job with no notice but the satisfaction of knowing her workload had tripled made it worthwhile. Once out he pulled you to the nearest conference room and sat you on the table.

“I’m proud of you Bumblebee.”

“I’m proud of me too,” you told him with a radiant smile. You were proud you’d finally stood up to Cassandra even if it had cost your job. But it had gained you Benny. “So your first love, huh?”

“Yup.”

“Mine too.”

Benny rested his forehead against yours with a brilliant smile on his lips. You met his baby blues and wondered where he’d been all your life. Standing right next to you the whole time was the apparent answer. 

[caterpillarinacave]

"Send me a character" Matthew and Alastair.

favorite thing about them

Matthew is genuinely hilarious. Very fruity. Would leave my drink with him at a bar. He’s a very genuine person, and his banter with just about everyone is one of the most entertaining parts of TLH. 

least favorite thing about them

Mmm, I don't know? I really like him in the book, however I’m not sure how I’d get along with him in real life. He’s very… loud. 

brOTP

Naturally, James.

OTP

Idk, Matthew x Therapy? Matthew x Relaxing?

nOTP

Probably Matthew x Alastair. For one thing, Thomastair is forever and ever, for another I just don't like it. 

random headcanon

Matthew was one of those kids who just really wanted to be held. Or, rather he just wants to be a part of whats going on. Frankly, that worked out pretty well for him, as he could usually just sit with his father, or cling to an aunt or uncle. Spent half the time he was supposed to be in bed as a little kid trying to get into his parents room, because how is anyone supposed to sleep in a room all alone??? What if he missed something fun and important in the morning??? If hes a whole ten feet away, then who knows what adventures he might miss out on in the thirty seconds it takes him to cross the hallway? Travesty! 

 Yeah, he usually ended up back in his own room. 

unpopular opinion

I really don't want Cassie to put him in a relationship. I would much prefer if he had his healing without getting into a romantic situation. Personally, I like to believe he was the token single family member for several decades, then met a guy once he was like, 40, then went and lived on a beach somewhere. Living his best life. 

song i associate with them

I've actually got a playlist on him ___ . But Icarus by Bastille, and Shampain by Marina and the Diamonds leap to mind. 

favorite picture of them

Could not for the LIFE OF ME find the source, but I’m pretty sure this is by Cassandra Jean. If anyones got the source please, let me know. 

 I know this is James and Matthew arguing, but the lighting? The color? The expressions? Love it. 

favorite thing about them

He's just so pleasantly cynical. He definitely feels like someone you might meet IRL. His sibling role mixing with the “stand in father figure” is very interesting, and its very apparent throughout the books how much he genuinely, dearly, loves his family. His almost deadpan demeanor is straight up hilarious, and the thinly veiled romantic interest in Thomas, that very quickly turns into “lets have sex in this carriage” is a highlight of TLH.

least favorite thing about them

Uh, I don't know, he's a pretty solid character. Not much I don't like about him. 

brOTP

He and Cordelia are sibling super besties. She'd die for him, he'd die for her. Broskis. Besties. Love each other. Sibling goals. 

OTP

Thomastair, naturally. 

nOTP

Well, anyone who isn't Thomas. 

random headcanon

He cant cook for shit. He tried once, and did something simple successfully, which lulled him into a false sense of security. Thomas took him to a suite in London for a sort of honeymoon and Alastair tried to live out his aesthetic dreams by cooking. Pan is on fire. Apartment is on fire. Apartment building is on fire. The poor mundane police who can't really tell what's going on, but something feels super weird? On fire. Thomas decides he will do any future cooking. 

unpopular opinion

Alastair was in the wrong in Nothing But Shadows, and Matthew wasn't in the wrong for not wanting to like him. I see a lot of people on tumblr talk about how it's ridiculous that Matthew is mad at Alastair years later, because it's like “being mad at someone for a jab in highschool”. But the thing is it really isn't. This was Edwardian england. Theres few things more offensive than directly insulting your close family. On top of that, the shadhowhunter gossip chain (which, at that moment, involved Alastair.) was spitting directly on everything both Henry and Charlotte had ever done, and boy all boy did they do a lot. I genuinely have trouble thinking of anything Alastair could say that is worse than this.

 Obviously,  I love Alastair as much as everyone else. His behavior during his time at the shadowhunter academy is nothing more than a traumatized adolescent trying to make sense of the world. 

However, that doesn't mean he wasn't super out of line. Personally if I was Matthew, Alastair would have to grovel for my forgiveness, and even then I wouldn't be interested in forging a very close relationship.

song i associate with them

Actually got a playlist almost done for him, but “Gossip” by manskin nails his cynical, early tlh vibe and Iris by the Goo Goo Dolls is a Thomastair song from Alastairs POV fr. 

favorite picture of them

(Closest to original post I can find, the blog that first posted this doesnt seem to exist anymore https://theredcarstairs.tumblr.com/post/612828735833505792/tea-time .) Technically this is both Alastair and Cordelia, but nonetheless, its one of my favs. This or that one where Thomas and Alastair are staring at each other with nothing short of adoration. 

[ofspvrta]

She never had to explain this before, it felt strange having to explain this to anyone, let alone the one person who she couldn't figure out where exactly they stood. Her eyes finally looked back to Cassandra, unsure where to even start. Perhaps the beginning was best. All those many, many centuries ago. A frown crossed her face, a realization dawning on her just how weak she probably looked right now. Maybe it was vanity, but she hated how she came off in the moment.

"I took a job I shouldn't have. Well, the job wasn't the issue, my curiosity and need to fill my purse was. I was to kill a man in Elvhenan and bring back a relic he had. I did it, but the man had a key on him and there was this vault in the room. I thought maybe I could take a few other items, and sell them for some more gold for food and better armor." She paused, the memory still so vivid in her mind. "There was an ornate golden staff with snakes wrapped around the top. It looked expensive so I grabbed it... immediately something felt wrong, a tingling in my arm, and then the room washed in gold and I blacked out. The staff was gone when I woke up and I just hurried back to my client. I got ambushed on the way back and was run through, should have been fatal. It healed. In less than a day."

She indicated a gilded thread that shone under her skin. "The staff bonded with me. I am its Keeper now, forever. I don't age, I don't need to eat or drink." The obvious question came and her eyes closed for a moment. "Over two thousand years old now. My family line has long since dead and regulated to the tombs. Never found out if they made one for me."

CASSANDRA HUFFED, LIKE SHE WAS GOING TO SNAP BACK OR EVEN LAUGH, BUT THE SUDDEN MOOD CHANGE LED HER TO REMAIN SILENT INSTEAD. There was a sense of wonder to it all: the intricacy of the webs lining her skin like a safety net over her wounds, the heat emanating off of Kassandra's skin in waves hot enough to warm the Seeker on a cold night. And there was Kassandra herself, normally so brazen and stalwart, who laid on the ground now looking more vulnerable than ever before.

"What happened?" She asked quietly, as if she were frightened that she would disturb the magic embued in Kassandra's body. "What did you do to gain such a thing?" Not a blessing, the Seeker had decided. A curse, if anything—look at what immortality had done to someone such as Corypheus. She leaned over and stabbed her blade into the dirt decidedly. It seemed like they were going to be there for a moment.

Another beat. The question was more hesitant, this time: "How old are you, then?"

[newsies-of-corona]

Varian & Affirmation

Analysis:

And we’ve got another one, folks! This one hit hard for me for sure. Just the way that the show set it up...it’s incredible. So without any further adieu...

“Well, shall we get started?”

Motives

So I’m just going to come right out and say it: Varian is selfish in Season 1. The whole way through. (Now don’t leave yet! If you know me you know how much of a fan I am of this complex alchemist and this is not a hate post by all means!)

But yes. Throughout the whole of Season 1, Varian has a very self-centered mindset that’s hard to pick up on at first, but it’s there. Here’s some dialogue examples:

“I am sure that I, Varian, can unlock the mystery of your hair with the power of science!”

“Hey Flynn Rider? Wanna come with?”

“It doesn’t matter. The truth is all I really wanted to do was impress you, I thought that if I showed you what I was capable of you might see something in me.”

“Actually he’d probably be impressed. At least I hope he’d be impressed.”

Most of these quotes sound perfectly innocent, and they are! But it’s the motives behind them that make them more self-centered. Varian’s main goal, his life blood practically, is affirmation. He yearns to be adored and recognized for his achievements. It’s a perfectly normal and human want. I myself struggle with this all the time. But when it’s the only thing that you strive for? The only thing that makes you happy? It effects everything that you say and do. If you dig deep into these quotes, you can see what he’s really craving.

By discovering the mystery of Rapunzel’s hair, Varian gets credit and especially admiration. By showing his idol his inventions, he’s expecting Eugene to tell him what a genius he is or how amazed he is that this fourteen year old kid could build all this. The third one is just wanting Cassandra to recognize him since he looks up to her, and went to great lengths to impress her. Even when he helped her, it was still because he wanted to impress her and get her to help him in return. Throughout that episode he’s trying so hard to get her to compliment his work. In three of these examples, he gets the adoration he asked for. But that’s the problem: he asked for it. Eugene and Cass essentially tell him the same thing, “you’re a great, smart kid with good intentions.” And both times he responds more...despondently. For Cass it’s “thanks for saying that.” For Eugene it’s just looking at him sadly because this wasn’t what he wanted to hear. In essence: it isn’t enough.

And the last quote obviously represents the affirmation he craves the most, his father’s, and the one that he doesn’t get.

Even slight comments like “I build it myself,” “of my own design,” and “wanna see my new invention?” all have the underlying motive of craving affirmation from his peers. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but since Varian often has tunnel-vision and can’t see the consequences of his actions, it quickly becomes an issue. Especially in the case of, of course, the black rocks.

Taking it Too Far

We find out that Varian discovered the rocks in Great Expotations. Rapunzel inadvertently tasked him with figuring out how to get rid of them, and in his mind he needed to. To impress her and possibly all of Corona. So he ran tests and got reprimanded by his dad probably more than once. But this is the biggest thing he could ever do: rescue his village and the kingdom and make his dad proud in the process. That’s why he wanted to come with him and hopefully talk to the king. Yes, in this case he actually wants to help his village, he’s not heartless and he cares a lot, but he’s predominantly focusing on the rewards that will come after he figured it out.

Of course we know his plans go awry again, but he never stops focusing on his goal of making his dad proud of him. Seriously...NEVER.

Taking it WAY Too Far

Enter: Villain Arc. Suddenly his need to be adored and affirmed flips upside down. He doesn’t want compliments anymore, he wants people to fear him, respect him, and listen to him.

Examples:

“I have asked for help and have been ignored, I will not be ignored any longer!”

“I tried asking for help in a civil manner but was denied by everyone in Corona. So, unfortunately, this is my only remaining recourse.”

“I’ll make them hear me...”

I touched on this in my Confidence analysis, but Varian never loses his drive. And his want to be revered, consumes him. Even when he goes to prison, he joins Andrew and takes over Corona to be feared. But he soon realizes, it’s still not enough. His want for revenge doesn’t satisfy him or make him happy, it just makes him feel worse as the weight of what he’s done gradually crashes down on him.

By the time Rapunzel comes back, it’s all an act. He’s not craving adoration anymore. He just wants a way out of this cycle of disappointment that isn’t getting him anywhere. You can tell from the lines, too.

“Me? No, not really.”

“So that no one will forget they turned their back on my father!”

“I took their queen prisoner! I threatened their princess! I helped these guys take over their kingdom!”

Now the first one is small, but it actually shows a lot of development (even if he says it in a rather dorky way) because he’s not taking credit for something or taking the “fear” that he wanted so badly. The second one just sounds like a threat but it’s not “they turned their backs on me,” like it was in season 1. It’s back to his father, and it’s, in a way, humbling Varian by taking himself out of the picture. And of course the last one is the most evident: he’s listing his faults and realizing he doesn’t deserve the adoration he used to crave so much.

Making it Right

During Varian’s redemption...we see these thoughts really come to light.

“All I ever wanted was for my father to be proud. But if he were free from the amber now, and saw everything I’ve done, well he’d be ashamed.”

This is his turning point. This is where he owns up to how warped and twisted his mindset was and makes an effort to fix it with Rapunzel. Not for himself; not for the glory, but because it’s the right thing to do. He knows he messed up with the Quirineon, and he’s literally willing to die to make up for his mistakes. This is a direct contrast to his previous statement: “I will make you proud of me, dad. If it’s the last thing I ever do.”

Because if he dies fixing his mistakes, he doesn’t expect any kind of praise. He’d leave a legacy of horrible deeds that would never make his dad proud; but he’d be saving Corona and that’s all that matters. Of course he doesn’t actually die, thank goodness, and Rapunzel saves Corona instead, but he’s learned something from this whole experience. And one thing he especially didn’t expect was for Rapunzel to keep her promise after everything. And even when his dad finally says those words...they were supposed to mean everything, but they don’t. It still isn’t enough. Especially not after everything that’s happened. I touched on this in another analysis as well, but he feels like he doesn’t deserve those words.

From this point, Varian has a whole new outlook on life, not dependent on gaining recognition. He’s still the cocky, confident alchemist we know and love, but he shows off his inventions because he’s proud of them, and that’s enough. He saves Corona from the red rocks because he genuinely wants to help his kingdom, he doesn’t have any underlying motives whatsoever. He helps with the Demanitus Scroll because he wants to help Rapunzel figure everything out. And at the end he helps defeat Zhan Tiri because he knows he can help, and he genuinely wants to. (And here’s where I get emotional.)

Varian doesn’t once ask for compliments or a “thank you” throughout season 3, yet that’s exactly what he gets. After all of those years of seeking and yearning for adoration, he finally gets it when he doesn’t need it anymore.

In every selfless thing he does for Corona, he gets a reward in some way. When he rescues the kingdom from black rocks, he didn’t ask for anything in return, yet his reputation was restored. When he agreed to help with the scroll, he actually got to work in Demanitus’ Lab, someone he’s admired forever. And when he helps with the portal, he gets to go see Demanitus’ tomb and I mean...

that’s the happiest we’ve ever seen him. And it isn’t just the big things either, it’s the little ones. The way that Rapunzel calls him “a genius,” when he doesn’t ask for it or allude to it in any way. The “good job, buddy,” that Eugene tells him after he fixes up the balloon. And every time he’s complimented, he stays humble. He even responds one time with “just doing my part.”

And at the very end of his arc, after all of that selfless work he did for Corona out of the goodness of his own heart, he’s given his very own title of “Royal Engineer.” An official position in the kingdom that people truly look up to and respect.

Conclusion

This is honestly one the most well-done character arcs I’ve ever seen, because it’s absolute poetic justice. At the beginning, Varian is so focused on his own need of affirmation that he forgets everything else, and jeopardizes himself on multiple occasions. Especially when his motives become warped. But when he finally sets his pride and his own ambitions aside and realizes he’s already enough, that’s when he gets the respect and adoration that he had always wanted. And that my friends...is CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT.

[storiesforallfandoms]

stay ~ 10k;z nation

part one

word count: 1397

request?: yes!

“Part 2 of the Powerful~ 10k fic

It's sooo lovely and fluffy💖💖💖”

description: when they wake up, she must face her family and reveal the truth about herself

pairing: 10k x female!reader

warnings: swearing

masterlist (one, two)

“I found them!”

I was startled awake by the sound of someone yelling. I wasn’t sure where I was at first, or why there was a heavy feeling on my chest. It took me a moment when I opened my eyes and saw the familiar messy black hair still laid against my chest.

Standing over me was Doc, looking down at 10k and I with a sort of relieved look. 10k started to stir and sat up, rubbing his eyes and looking up at Doc as well.

“What’s going on?” he asked.

Before Doc could respond, the rest of the team came running up to the two of us with concerned looks on their faces. Addy dropped to her knees next to me first, wrapping her arms around me and hugging me tightly. It caught me off guard at first and I gently patted her back.

“Thank God you two are alright,” Warren said. “We were so worried.”

“Yeah, we thought the She-Hulk took the kid like King Kong,” Murphy commented.

I looked away from them as I remembered why 10k and I had been sleeping so far away from the group. I had promised 10k that I wouldn’t leave, but my original plan was to wake up before him and continue with my original plan. I was still set on not seeing everyone when I woke up the next morning, but I had been so sound asleep that I hadn’t even realized how much time had passed.

“Murphy,” Warren snapped.

“We were worried you two had gotten hurt,” Addy said. “You left without telling anyone.”

“Why the hell are you two asleep so far from the camp?” Doc asked.

10k and I shared a look. I knew 10k wouldn’t tell them if I didn’t want him to, but I knew it was time I finally explained myself to the group. After my slip up the night before, I had to make things clear with them about what I was and judge their reactions from there. I had to decide if their reactions were enough of a reason for me to stay or to leave.

“I tried to leave last night,” I finally said.

“Where were you going?” Addy asked.

I shrugged. “I don’t know. Just...away from you guys...for your own safety.”

I watched them all exchange looks. I couldn’t read what their looks meant, not even Murphy’s. I couldn’t tell if this was something they had wanted or if they were feeling guilty for making me feel that way. Maybe both.

“I think it’s about time you explained what happened yesterday,” Doc told me. “And why exactly you kept it a secret from us for so long.”

10k reached over and took my hand in his. I smiled at him, grateful for the reassurance, even though this would be the first time he’d hear my story as well.

I told them everything; about what I was, about my heritage, about what it all meant. I explained what had happened the day before - that I was so powerful that sometimes my power lashed out without me wanting it to. I hadn’t gotten the time to be trained before the zombie apocalypse had begun.

“I tried so hard to keep it a secret,” I told them. “I didn’t want to scare any of you. I wanted to find the right time to really sit down and explain all of this to you guys.”

“You’ve been travelling with us for months, you didn’t think any of those times would’ve been right?” Murphy asked.

I glared at him. “Oh yeah, sure. I was totally thinking about it when Garrett was killed, or when we lost Cassandra, or Mack, or all those times we were getting chased by Zs or by a crazy, all ladies cult that wanted to keep me, Warren, and Addy, and try to get knocked up by you. Those were definitely the times I should’ve said, Hey guys, I know shit is fucked right now, but I’m a mythological being that is all powerful and my powers could pop off at any minute because I never got proper training before the apocalypse.”

For the first time, I had managed to render The Murphy speechless. The rest of the group didn’t try to hard to hide their amused expressions.

“Touché,” Murphy finally muttered.

“And your answer to all of this was to run away on your own?” Warren asked.

I nodded. “Well...yeah. I figured it would be safer for all of you if I left. It’s not like anything could happen to me out there. As you all saw, I’m more powerful than any Z that could come after me.”

“That doesn’t mean you’d survive on your own, (Y/N),” Doc said. “These are crazy times we’re living in. Anyone could come after you, Z or not. Especially those psychotic former scientists looking for a cure. If they caught wind of you, they’d probably experiment on you until you died and turned into an all-powerful Z.”

I hadn’t thought of that.

“She’s not leaving,” 10k said. He wrapped an arm around me protectively, holding me close to him. “If she goes, I go.”

“Awe,” Murphy commented. “The kid has a crush.”

“So what if I do?” 10k retorted. “She’s my friend. She’s been there for me through everything. She’s been there for all of us. We’re not abandoning her because she was too scared to tell us the truth.”

I looked at 10k in shock. I couldn’t believe where this was all coming from. Sure, 10k was assertive enough, but he had always been the quiet type. Even when we started getting close, he had never talked to me all that much.

“We’re not leaving anyone,” Warren said. “(Y/N), you’re part of our family. What you are beyond that doesn’t matter. We don’t leave family behind here.”

“Even if the family could pop off and hurt you guys at any moment?” I asked.

Warren smiled at me. “You didn’t hurt us yesterday. I think, even subconsciously, you know not to hurt us when you’re using your powers. Besides, we could probably find a way to train those so you’re not so worried about it.”

“It’s great Z fighting tool,” Doc agreed.

I felt tears stinging my eyes as I stood to hug Warren. She chuckled and pulled away from me.

“Thank you,” I said.

“You don’t have to thank us. Family doesn’t leave family behind. Now, get your things, we should get moving soon.”

I started packing my sleep things back into the bag I had been carrying. Once I was set to go, I followed behind everyone else as we went looking for a road, and hopefully another working car.

10k walked beside me, his hand brushing against mine every so often. I kept looking up at him to see his cheeks were a light shade of pink, but he wouldn’t look down at me.

“If you want to hold my hand, just hold it,” I told him. Instead of waiting for a response, I laced my fingers through his.

“I’m glad you stayed,” he said.

“I promised you I would.”

“I could tell you were lying, though. I was sure I’d wake up and find you gone, but I was too tired to fight it.”

I squeezed his hand slightly. “I’m sorry I was so obvious, but I was only thinking of what was best for you guys.”

“I know. I’m still glad you stayed.”

We were walking in silence for some time, letting the others trail a bit further ahead than the two of us.

“Do you still want to...be with me...knowing what I am?” I asked him.

“Of course I do. (Y/N), I don’t care about what you are, I care about who you are, and I’ve really liked who you are since we first met.”

I couldn’t stop the wide smile that spread across my face. I playfully bumped against 10k as a response. “You really know how to make a girl blush, 10k.”

“The only girl I want to make blush is you.”

“That’s so cheesy, I love it. Keep saying cheesy things to me.”

“I’ll say whatever you want for as long as you want.”

Forever, I decided as we finally caught up with the group again. I want to hear these things forever.

[discoscoob]

Your Judgement | Loki x Female Reader

Loki (Marvel) x Doctor Who

Loki loses control in more ways than one and secrets are revealed, leaving you with a decision to make.

Part Two | Part Four | Chapter Index

Words: 6.6k

Warnings: angst, threats, blood and injury (this makes it sound a lot worse than it actually is)

Read on AO3

Loki despised feeling out of control. Everyone had always told him how to behave, what to say, what to do, who to be and he thought he had finally escaped all that, he had found the power that he had always sought after, he finally felt a sense of ownership over himself and it was so quickly snatched from him right under his nose in the worst possible way.

 Sure it was suffocating on Asgard and yes he was being influenced by the mind stone on Midgard but he had never lost control quite like this before. Every movement he made wasn’t his own, his limbs moved with an invisible force, even the words coming out of his mouth weren’t his. He had been turned into a living and breathing puppet, to be used as a vessel to preserve the life of a deranged mortal who refused to die. 

 He was humiliated, how could he let a weak, insignificant Midgardian possess his body? He was a God and a supreme sorcerer, she should be no match for him but he struggled to force her out, she stubbornly clung on tight.

 The pressure in his head was intense, due to the fact his brain was being compressed to make room for Cassandra’s consciousness. For someone like Loki, who always preferred fighting with his mind over his fist, shaking someone out of his head should’ve been child’s play but the compression on his own mind was making it weaker which made him more vulnerable to her control.

 “I’m getting jealous ex vibes. I swear to God, Doctor, if my niece got possessed because you’ve got a jealous ex.” Donna warned the Doctor who looked like he was about to choke on his own saliva.

 “Her?” The Doctor screeched.

 “You should be so lucky.” Cassandra made Loki glare at the Doctor.

 “Let him go, Cassandra.” The Doctor ordered the consciousness possessing Loki.

 Cassandra made Loki pout. “And why would I do that? I finally found the secret to immortality.”

 “The psychograft you used is banned on every civilised planet, including this one, what you’re doing is illegal. All I need to do is take you into the city and hand you over to the authorities.” The Doctor warned.

 The force inside Loki’s mind made him laugh wickedly. “Oh Doctor, I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

 “Why not?”

 “You can’t hand me over without handing Loki over too.” Cassandra explained before she suddenly gasped as if finding out a secret. “Oh, he really doesn’t want that.”

 Suddenly Loki’s body jerked, as one would when you hit the emergency breaks and he quickly slapped his palm against the wall to steady himself as his breath came out in heavy pants.

 “Get out of my head!” Loki growled, he held his eyes shut tightly which caused his eyelids to crinkle as he clenched his teeth and brought the tips of his fingers up to his temple. He strained as he tried to maintain in control of his own mind, while Cassandra fought to regain dominance.

 “Loki? Listen to my voice. You can fight her. Hold on.” The Doctor encouraged Loki who let out a frustrated cry as he attempted to force Cassandra out of his head.

 You could see the pale golden mist slowly surround him like a halo as he continued to strain, you could see how much it was exhausting him, his already compressed mind was being pushed to its limits. 

 “That’s it, Loki, you’ve almost got her out.” The Doctor continued to encourage him, as he was really starting to struggle.

 Before he could completely expel Cassandra, Loki’s mind succumbed to the fatigue of using powers while being compressed and failed him as the gold essence sunk back into his skin and he collapsed to the floor. His chest rose and fell rapidly as he panted from the exhaustion.

 “That was a very foolish thing of you to do, Loki.” Cassandra addressed the God using his own voice which sounded tired from the strain of trying to force her out. “Don’t forget, I’m inside your head. I can see everything. There are things in here that I am sure you wouldn’t want your new friends learning about, so I’d advise you to behave.” 

 The Doctor, Donna and you, glanced at each other wordlessly, as the atmosphere instantly changed. Cassandra knew she had caught everyone’s attention as she flicked Loki’s hair out of his face and watched you all through his eyes as she forced the corners of his lips to lift into a wicked smirk.

 “What do you mean?” The Doctor took the bait, and Cassandra made Loki’s smile widen in twisted delight.

 Your chest tightened with anxiety as you worried about what Loki was hiding. You weren’t daft, you were fully aware that within the two days you had spent within the company of the God, it wasn’t enough time to properly know him and it definitely wasn’t enough time to trust him. However you couldn’t deny the fact that you had developed an attachment to him and the prospect of that potentially being cut short left a feeling of despair that was difficult to ignore. 

 “Let’s just say, the God of Mischief has been up to a lot of mischief.” Cassandra made Loki chuckle at her own joke as she forced him to climb back up onto both his feet. 

 Without warning the laughter abruptly cut short and with an unexpected jerk, Loki regained control. This time he moved without hesitation or delay as both his palms filled with glowing balls of green smoke and with a loud growl that caused you to startle, the light from his palms turned into an aurora which flowed halfway across your bedroom. The golden mist evaporated from his skin more rapidly this time, as it chased after the green light. You watched on, completely captivated as the gold and green swirled together and began to intertwine. Your focus was torn away when you heard Loki collapse to the floor, completely drained after focusing all his energy on removing Cassandra from his mind while using his magic at the same time.

 “Doctor.” You heard Donna whisper and you looked up at the pair to find your auntie rapidly tapping the Time Lord on his upper arm to get his attention, while she stared across your room, the Doctor’s eyes widened when he saw what she was looking at and you looked over to see what had grabbed their attention.

 “How clever!” A figure identical to Loki, spoke with wonder as it patted itself down to check it was a solid form. “I suppose this solves all our problems.”

 “Oh this isn’t a solution,” original Loki spoke with a heavy sigh as he was still trying to catch his breath and you turned your attention back to him. “You think I would let you remain in my form forever?”

 “Well, there are worse people to spend eternity with.” Cassandra, who you realised was in control of the Loki clone, shrugged.

 “I’d throw you into the nearest burning sun before I let you stay by my side for the rest of eternity.” Loki threatened his possessed clone, his tone harsh and abrupt. “You’re an insignificant and wretched mortal who has deluded herself with the notion that she is worthy of immortality but you are nothing but a worthless creature. You don’t even have your own form to sustain you and so you live off others, like a pathetic parasite, and if you think I will allow your revolting existence seek life support through my Godly form for a whole day, much less an eternity, you’re sorely mistaken.” 

 Loki had stalked towards his carbon copy, as he spoke his monologue with such a threatening force that it had even sent shivers down your spine, despite the fact that it wasn’t even directed towards you. 

 “You best pray that the Doctor doesn’t send the both of us away, because as soon as you’re alone with me no one will be there to protect you, and since you have been inside my mind, I am sure you are fully aware of the things I am capable of doing to you.” Loki finished, once he was stood mere inches in front of his double, who was now visibly cowering away from him. 

 The light of your bedroom reflected off the moisture which had built on the waterline of the duplicates eyes, as they stared into the Gods face with pure terror. 

 The cruel things Loki had said and the intimidating manner of which he had delivered them in, struck fear through your chest. His voice had dripped with pure threat and menace, even the tone he had used when you first met him and he had trapped you against that secluded wall, paled in comparison to the one he had just used towards Cassandra. 

 Loki had unleashed a side of himself that you had yet to see, or even knew existed, and you would be lying if the things he had called Cassandra didn’t sting, of course he could’ve been speaking to her as an individual but what if he held these views towards all mortals, were you merely viewed as ‘worthless creatures’ by the immortal God?

 “Loki, that’s enough.” The Doctor had sternly told him and you weren’t sure if you imagined it but could have sworn that you saw regret flash in Loki’s eyes as soon as he turned and saw you, the Doctor and Donna all staring at him. It seemed your presence had slipped his mind while he had succumbed to his more sinister side and now he was realising you had all just witnessed it first hand, on top of Cassandra revealing that he was hiding secrets which he didn’t want any of you to discover.

 Loki opened his mouth to try and say something but nothing came out, eventually he gave up and let his lips form a thin line as his head tilted downwards to avoid all your eyes.

 Silence laid heavily over the room as no one wanted to be the first one to break it, what could anyone possibly say after that? After a short period of time you heard footsteps softly tap against the floor and you looked up and saw Loki lower himself into your armchair. He rested his elbow upon the armrest and cradled his chin in his hand, covering his face from the nose down with his fingers as they anxiously rubbed over his lips. It appeared as though he had a million thoughts racing through his mind, you couldn’t help but wonder what they were.

 “I think, I would like to leave now.” Cassandra eventually announced.

 The Doctor had explained to her that he could take her into the city where they would provide her with a skintank for her consciousness to live in and she was more than happy to go anywhere the Doctor took her as long as it was away from Loki.

 “I thought you of all people, Doctor, would be careful with the kind of people you let travel with you.” You heard her quietly comment, as she made her way out of your bedroom, the Doctor paused under the doorway and looked at Loki, while he considered what Cassandra had said before he silently turned and followed her to the control room.

 “Are you coming?” Donna looked at you, ready to follow behind the Doctor. 

 You had noticed the way the Doctor looked at Loki and you realised he was considering whether or not he should allow him to stay on the TARDIS, before you turned your attention back to Loki, observing the way he seemed lost in his own world. 

 The way he had lost his temper had startled you, however you didn’t believe his reaction towards Cassandra was unwarranted. You knew exactly what it felt like to have her inside your mind, controlling your body like a puppet. It felt violating. You weren’t sure whether or not his threats toward her were empty, you were sure that was something you didn’t want to find out, but either way Loki hadn’t actually laid a single finger on her, so it seemed as though his tactic was just to frighten her. It may have not been the most conventional approach but it had worked and as a result the Doctor was now taking her to the city.

 “I think I’ll stay here.” You decided.

 Donna didn’t say anything but she glanced over to Loki, who was still slumped in your armchair, his gaze unmoving from the floor, and you understood that she was nervous to leave you alone with him.

 “I’ll be fine.” You assured her, despite the fact that you couldn’t say for certain that you would be, but you wanted to try and talk with Loki. You knew that there was a lot that the Doctor would want to discuss with him after he returned from the city and if you could talk with Loki beforehand, one to one, maybe you could help him.

 “If you’re sure...” Donna sighed, clearly not happy about leaving you alone with Loki but she knew that you were an adult and responsible for your own choices and she respected that. After leaving a kiss on your temple, she reluctantly made her way out your room. Pausing under your doorway she looked between you and Loki with a sigh and you could see the worry all over her face but you gave her a reassuring smile, which she returned, before she finally disappeared down the corridor to join the Doctor.

 You weren’t even sure if Loki was aware of his surroundings anymore as he had hardly moved an inch since he collapsed into that seat. He didn’t even seem to notice that it was only you and him left in your room as you cautiously made your way towards him. Once you were stood around a meter in front of him you stopped and he still hadn’t registered your presence, if he had, he wasn’t acknowledging it.

 “Loki?” You softly spoke.

 The God slightly jumped as his gaze caught yours, he looked startled before his eyes bounced around the room and then finally rested back on you.

 “Where is everyone?” He asked, his voice small, it was the softest you had ever heard him speak, you almost couldn’t hear him.

 “The Doctor and Donna have left to take Cassandra into the city.” You gently explained.

 “They left you alone with me?” Loki looked at you with disbelief and you looked down for a moment, realising Loki was more scared of himself right now than you were of him.

 “Loki, we need to talk.” You stated, your tone was still gentle but you tried to sound stern to make him realise you weren’t offering him a choice.

 “What is there to discuss? As soon as the Doctor returns he will hand me over to the TVA and I will be erased from existence.” Loki dismissed your proposal to talk.

 “You don’t know that.” You tried to reason, this time you crouched down, so you were balanced on the balls of your feet and you could talk to Loki from a more equal level. “I don’t know what the Doctor will decide to do when he returns but if you talk to me and explain everything, I might be able to persuade the Doctor to trust my judgment.”

 Loki seemed to consider it this time as he glanced at you, a frown formed over his face and his dark brows shadowed his eyes, which appeared to be filled with sorrow. He finally broke his eye contact with you to look down at his hands as he fidgeted with them between his spread legs.

 “Okay.” Loki agreed.

 You drew your lips together and looked around as you considered what you could address first and it was hard to ignore the one thought that was dominating your mind.

 “The things you called Cassandra... is that how you view all mortals... is that your view of me?” You asked Loki, now you were the one avoiding his gaze as you rubbed your eyebrows with embarrassment and kept your eyes on the floor.

 Due to the fact you weren’t looking at him, you missed the way Loki had instantly looked at you with eyes full of remorse, he hadn’t even realised that you might have connected his words towards Cassandra to yourself after he had addressed her as a mortal. His jaw was slack as he didn’t even know where to begin telling you how wrong you were and how you had singlehandedly gave him the power he needed to feel in control for the first time in his life.

 “Gods no!” Loki rushed to answer, mindful of the fact that if he allowed the silence to settle too long after you finished your question, it might have seemed like a confirmation that that was truly what he believed you were. 

 When you continued to avoid looking at him, Loki sighed as he pulled his palm down his face. He slid himself off of the armchair to make your heights more equal as he sank to the floor and sat with crossed legs, before he continued, determined to rectify your belief of how he perceived you. 

 “Listen to me, you hold so much power. You have done more for me in two days than anyone else has in my thousand years of existence and you don’t even realise it. I think what... daunts me the most about you all learning the things which Cassandra had mentioned I wouldn’t want you finding out, isn’t that the Doctor might end up taking me back to the TVA. It’s the fact that you will see me as everyone else does, validating that they were right about me all along, and when you inevitably do, it will strip me of the control I have felt over myself these last few days, because you were the one who bestowed it upon me. Someone who holds that much power could never be a worthless creature.” Loki confessed and you furrowed your brows as you lifted your head to look up at him, processing what he was telling you because it was a lot to take in, you weren’t even sure you understood what he meant. How could you have been the one who gave him his sense of control over himself, what had you even done?

 “How... how did I do that?” You asked in disbelief. 

 “Everyone I have ever known in my life has always decided who I was before even getting to know me, but you had no preconceived notions about me when we met. For the first time I had control over who I could be and who someone could see me as, you gave me that control.” He explained to you.

 “Loki, that sounds like manipulation.” You realised with alarm. “You can’t just control which parts of yourself you decide to let someone see and expect their perception of you to be an accurate one.”

 The God paused, seemingly taken aback as if he was realising this for the first time and once it sunk in he looked genuinely ashamed.

 “You can control who you are, but you can’t control how people see you and how people see you, doesn’t control who you are. Does that make sense?” You tried to explain to Loki, who was staring at nothing in particular as he attempted to grasp what you were telling him. 

 “But if everyone shares a certain view of me, how could that not possibly be who I truly am?” Loki argued.

 You paused for a moment, as you pondered over his question.

 “Do you believe this view people have of you to be true?” You asked Loki.

 He shrugged after he allowed himself to think about it for a moment.

 “Do you want it to be?” You asked instead.

 This time Loki didn’t need any time to think about his answer as he immediately shook his head.

 “Then, that must not be who you truly are, if it is not who you want to be.” You concluded.

 Loki looked at you with hopeful eyes before they fell to his lap as he thought about what you said.

 “I think you should tell me what it is that Cassandra said you didn’t want us learning about you.” You decided. You didn’t promise Loki that it wouldn’t change how you viewed him, that would be unwise since you had no idea what he was about to tell you, but whatever it was, you would allow him the opportunity to explain himself so that maybe you could understand.

 Loki swallowed nervously as his eyes fell to his hands and he focused on picking at some loose skin near the side of his nail. You observed him closely and you were astounded by how a powerful God could appear so vulnerable and so... human. When you saw his brows pull together with frustration as he was unable to figure out where to begin, you gently put your hand on his knee and gave him a small smile of encouragement.

 “I killed my father.” Loki finally confessed, just straight to the point as if he were ripping off a band-aid, “my biological father.” He added, to clarify. 

 Loki hadn’t delivered his confession with much emotion, however his chest and shoulders did fall ever so slightly, as if a weight was being lifted off of him. 

 As soon as the words fell from his lips, you retracted your hand from his knee and Loki lifted his eyes to watch your reaction, apart from breaking physical contact you tried to not react, keeping your expression as neutral as possible.

 “Why?” You eventually asked, sticking with your decision to let him explain.

 “To prove my loyalty to Odin – my adoptive father, and to Asgard.” Loki explained, before elaborating. “Laufey, my biological father, was the King of Jotunheim and an enemy of Asgard. The realms were on the brink of war after my brother, Thor, lead an attack on Jotunheim, as a result, Odin banished him to Midgard as punishment. During the attack, I had discovered my true heritage as a frost giant while fighting by my brothers side. When I confronted Odin about it, he told me he had found me abandoned in a temple on Jotunheim, during one of his attacks and he took me with the plan to use me to unite the two kingdoms and form an alliance. Suddenly everything made sense, why he had always favoured Thor, how could a frost giant ever be worthy? Much less the King of Jotunheim’s unwanted, bastard son.” Loki’s voice dripped with disgust and you saw moisture gather in his eyes but he quickly blinked it away before continuing. “After I confronted him, Odin collapsed and fell into Odinsleep. With Thor banished and the King in a deep sleep, Asgard was vulnerable. I knew it was my chance to show Odin that, despite my Jotun heritage, I could be just as worthy as my brother. So I tricked Laufey into believing I had betrayed my adoptive father by luring him to Asgard with the belief he could assassinate the King as he slept, but I killed him as he was about to plunge his spear into Odin’s chest.”

 Loki hadn’t planned to share so much, especially to someone he had only known for two days, but he found that with each word that poured out of his mouth, he felt lighter and before he knew it he couldn’t stop. 

 Except for sometimes his mother, he had never really known the privilege of being listened to. He didn’t know how you were going to react to what he told you but you had listened and he hadn’t realised how much he truly needed that until now.

 You were stunned to silence by everything you had just heard Loki tell you. What flooded your heart with so much sorrow that it weighed heavy in your chest, was the way Loki had spoken about himself being unworthy and unwanted, you had decided in that moment that you couldn’t let him be kicked off the TARDIS and abandoned again. After learning about the kind of example Odin set his two sons, you thought Loki’s actions were hardly surprising and despite what Loki had said about Odin favouring Thor, you couldn’t help but think about the fact that Odin had punished Thor for leading an attack on Jotunheim, when he himself had done the same. Instead of holding himself accountable and teaching his sons to not make the same mistakes he had, he let them follow in his footsteps and then punished them for doing so. He raised Loki to see his own father as an enemy and he kept the truth from him, and you imagined that he probably never would’ve told Loki about his true heritage had he not discovered it for himself.  

 You struggled to gather together the words which felt right to say in the moment, wondering what words of wisdom, which you had collected over your 20-something years, would be worth something to the centuries old God. Despite not knowing what Loki might have needed to hear, you knew of something that he needed, and that was a place to belong.

 “I’m going to talk to the Doctor as soon as he comes back and I’ll make sure you get to stay.” You promised him, as you once again returned your hand to his knee and offered him a reassuring smile. 

 Loki’s brows pulled together and his lips fell slightly apart, as he stared at your hand before his eyes travelled up your arm and connected with yours. He studied your expression carefully, trying to find any hints of fear, disgust or doubt. Being the God of lies, he could sense when people were lying or trying to deceive him, but you looked at him with nothing but sincerity. 

 Loki’s eyes dropped to your hand again and he was conflicted. He was in a state of disbelief over the fact that you still wanted to support him after everything he confessed, however you failed to realise that there was still one secret remaining to be divulged. You had assumed he revealed everything, he could have easily gone along with it and increased his chances of maintaining his place on the TARDIS. He would be lying if he said that wasn’t tempting, deceiving people was second nature to him, however when he looked back into your eyes and saw how much compassion they held towards him, compassion he was certain he didn’t deserve, he couldn’t find it in his heart to deceive you.

 Unlike almost everyone else in his life, you had shown him an unlimited amount of kindness and understanding. Most times when he tricked, double crossed or misled people, he believed they deserved it but to do that to you would just be cruel and it was not a level of cruelty which Loki possessed. 

 So, reluctantly Loki took a gentle hold of your wrist and removed your hand from his knee and returned it to your side.

 “I can’t let you promise me that.” Loki rejected you.

 “You’re right, I shouldn’t promise something which is beyond my control but–“ You misinterpreted what he meant.

 “No,” Loki quickly cut you off, “I can’t let you because there’s still one more thing I haven’t told you and I think once I do, you will change your mind.” Loki explained. 

 You remained silent, though you felt anxious about what he might confess, you were also struck by the fact he chose honesty. If he wanted to, he could have easily played along, let you believe he had confessed everything and secure his place on the TARDIS, yet he put it in jeopardy just to ensure that you weren’t misguided and you couldn’t help but admire that. You believed it was a testament to his character which you decided you wouldn’t let go unnoticed, while you nervously waited for him to reveal his final secret.

 “After everything that happened, Odin rejected me and I fell into the hands of a mad titan. I was without purpose, he used that to his advantage and I didn’t need much convincing to join his cause. He desired to posses more power than even the mightiest of Gods, with the use of all six infinity stones. He provided me with an army and instructions to deliver him the tesseract and in return he granted me access to the mind stone. It influenced my feelings and increased my desire for power and need to prove my worthiness, and so I used the army to attack New York city, in an attempt to take over Midgard and rule it as my own.” Loki confessed. 

 You should’ve been horrified, part of you definitely was, but it was heavily diluted by your confusion.

 “I... I don’t remember any of this ever happening.” You admitted, you were very certain that you would recall a God invading one of the most famous cities in the world with an army.

 “It hasn’t happened for you yet.” Loki explained.

 “Time is confusing.” You nervously laughed before you fell silent as you let what Loki told you really sink in. 

 He had attacked earth and attempted to rule over the human race. The way he spoke about it, implied that he didn’t succeed and surely if he was the King of Midgard he wouldn’t be sat on the floor opposite you right now.

 “What stopped you?” 

 “My brother and the avengers. They captured me but I got hold of the tesseract and used it to escape, I didn’t get very far before the TVA found me.”

 You had no idea who the avengers were but you assumed they were some sort of military organisation who were able to defeat Loki and his army, you imagined having the help of Loki’s brother on their side would’ve been a massive help. You considered the fact that when Loki spoke about being captured by them, he didn’t sound upset or angry about it, almost as if he didn’t really care that much about his plans for world domination. You recalled what he had said about the mind stone and how it had influenced his feelings and desires and you wondered how much it was responsible for his actions on Earth.

 “Do you think you would’ve still done it without the mind stone?” You asked him, because you considered this to be very important in judging whether or not you would advocate for his place on the TARDIS. If he believed he wouldn’t have done it without the influence of the mind stone, then his actions weren’t completely his own and therefore you wouldn’t expect him to take total blame for them.

 “No,” Loki furrowed his brows. “but I am a God, I should have not been so easily influenced.”

 “Loki, you might be a God, but you’re still a complicated and complex living being. You’re allowed to be vulnerable at times, you’re allowed to have flaws and make mistakes, you’re allowed to feel emotions and they will get the better of you and control you sometimes, it happens to all of us. Being a God doesn’t make you immune to it.” You told him, realising that Loki had a lot of work to do when it came to accepting his vulnerability.

 Loki remained silent, but it did at least seem like he was considering what you told him as he had a contemplative look on his face. Deciding to leave him in peace to think about it, you pushed yourself off the floor and began to make your way towards your door, but the broken glass, which Donna had dropped earlier, caught your attention.

 You crouched down to start cleaning it up, the bottom of the glass was still some what in tact which allowed you to gather all the broken shards inside it. As you were dropping one of the last pieces into the base of the glass, the broken side of the base pierced the palm of your hand.

 “Shit!” You cried under your breath as you quickly retracted your hand and cradled it close to your chest with your other. Blood was pooling in your palm and began running in singular drips down the side of your arm.

 Loki gasped your name and rushed over to you as soon as he noticed you were injured. Once he reached you, he lowered himself to his knees and held out his hands beside yours, but he didn’t touch you yet.

 “May I?” Loki politely asked for permission to look upon the damage caused to your hand.

 Reluctantly, you granted him access as you placed the balled up fist of your injured hand into his waiting palm. You hissed as he gently prised your fingers open and he mumbled a quick apology as he finally examined your wound.

 “Come on.” Loki encouraged you to your feet, with one of his hands under your elbow and his other still gently cradling your hand.

 You silently allowed him to move you, your eyes focused on him with wonder as he guided you into the en suite of your bedroom.

 Once he sat you down on the closed lid of the toilet, he left your side to run a fresh flannel under the faucet. Your eyes didn’t leave him once, as you watched every move he made. After wringing out the excess water of the flannel, he returned to your side and started tenderly cleaning up your cut. With all the blood cleaned away, Loki could properly inspect your wound.

 “It’s not too deep, I used to inflict much harsher wounds on my brother when we were children, a bandage should do.” Loki casually commented as if it were nothing, when he noticed your alarmed face he simply laughed.

 “Don’t worry, it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle and he gave me his fair share in return. We’re much more resilient than mortals, it was the equivalent of human children pushing or kicking one another.” He assured you, as he opened the cupboard below the sink and searched for a first aid box.

 Your alarmed expression relaxed into a some what fond smile upon learning young Loki wasn’t actually inflicting grievous injuries upon his brother, as you imagined the siblings play fighting as children.

 “Are you close to your brother?” You asked Loki, as he returned to your side with a bandage and started wrapping your hand. For a few moments, silence fell between you and you began to think he wasn’t going to answer.

 “We used to be,” Loki finally answered, avoiding your eyes as he focused on bandaging your hand. “I admired him a lot, I still do, but I fear I have irreparably ruined our relationship.” 

 “I’m sure that’s not true.” You carefully argued.

 “I tried to kill his father.” Loki reminded you and your lips fell shut defeatedly.

 “If he is immortal, he will have plenty time to get over it.” You lightheartedly added, trying to avoid the tone of the conversation becoming too serious.

 “Maybe in 5,000 years or so.” Loki estimated as he tied off your bandage, you inspected his work while he tidied away the first aid supplies back into the cupboard.

 “I haven’t changed my mind.” You admitted to him while his back was turned to you. 

 Loki immediately paused his actions after hearing you, you caught his reflection in the mirror above the sink and watched as his expression filled with disbelief before he glanced at you from over his shoulder.

 “About... me?” He hesitantly checked, certain he had misinterpreted what you meant.

 You simply nodded and Loki looked downwards as a shy ever so slight smile curved on the corner of his lips.

  ***

  “So technically it’s New New New New New New New New New new New New York.” You heard the laughter of your auntie and the Doctor as the entered the TARDIS, and you made your way around the console.

 The Doctor stopped when you caught his eye and said your name, surprised to find you waiting in the control room, while Donna smiled at you from beside him.

 “I have to talk to you about Loki.” You told the Doctor.

 Donna’s smile instantly and was replaced with worry as her eyes dropped to your bandaged hand.

 “Did he hurt you?” She fretted, as she stepped towards you.

 “No,” You immediately assured her, glancing at your injured hand. “No, I cut myself on the glass you dropped.” 

 Donna looked down with guilt as she realised your injury was caused by her accident.

 “I think we should let him stay.” You immediately returned to your original point, deciding there was no need to dance around it.

 The Doctor sighed your name, as it seemed like he was about to disagree while Donna looked at you as if you had grown a second head.

 “Please, you can trust my judgment.” You gave your auntie your best puppy dog eyes and she tilted her head in contemplation before looking towards the Doctor, who seemed to be considering it as well.

 “What do you think?” The Doctor turned to Donna, “if you’re not comfortable with it...”

 Your auntie sighed in defeat after giving it some consideration.

 “Your judgement better be good.” She pointed her finger at you, and you smiled. 

 “It is, I promise!” At least, you hoped it was.

  ***

  Just like the night before, there came a knock on your door just as you were about to climb into bed and just like the night before, you were greeted by the sight of Loki when you opened the door.

 “Is this going to become a nightly occurrence?” You joked.

 “If you would like it to.” Loki played along.

 “So, to what do I owe the pleasure?” 

 Loki’s features dropped into a more serious expression and he took in a deep breath.

 “I realised that earlier I never got the chance to apologise.” Loki began, his hands were held behind his back, hidden from your view, so you couldn’t see the way he nervously played with them.

 “Apologise?” You questioned with a slight tilt of your head, wondering what he felt the need to be sorry for.

 “I know how violating it felt to have Cassandra inside your mind–“

 “That wasn’t your fault.” You cut him off before he could finish.

 “No, I know, but I kissed you,” Loki’s eyes were trained on the floor as he spoke and your mouth fell in the shape of an ‘o’ as you realised that is what he came here to apologise for. “And you weren’t in control–“

 “You weren’t to know,” you quickly reassured him, as heat rose to your own face as you both acknowledged what happened between you. “She kissed you first, you don’t have to apologise.”

 “Even so, I would like to,” Loki finally lifted his gaze to look at you, “I’m sorry, if you felt uncomfortable or...”

 You couldn’t admit it, but uncomfortable is not a word you would use to describe how kissing Loki had made you feel. Once the pressure had began to slip from your mind and your lips were still attached to his, you felt a wave of pleasure flush through your stomach while goosebumps rose on your skin leaving a tingling sensation in their wake. 

 You pulled yourself back from the memory as you nodded and offered Loki a smile and accepted the apology which he felt he owed you, while you tried hard to push your desire for the kiss you shared to be repeated, to the back of your mind where you hoped it would soon be forgotten. 

[writtenjewels]

Switch part 3

Part One, Part Two

Dorian took the poultice the healers recommended for his headache, but he chose not to mention losing his magic. He had a suspicion the spell he cast was involved. He headed back up to the library to read over the wording again. It seemed very vague to him. What is mine, is yours. Move through this open space to share and understand the heart. What the hell did that mean and why did it result in him losing his magic?! He read on but there were no other clues in the text or any way to break the spell once it had been cast. Did that mean he was powerless forever?

“Dorian!” Solas called up. “Cassandra is looking for you!”

“What for?” he shouted back.

“I'm uncertain, but she seemed agitated.” Wonderful, just what he needed. Dorian closed the book with a sigh and headed back downstairs to the courtyard. He was outside for perhaps a minute when Cassandra pounced on him.

“There you are, you wretch. Just what do you think you're doing?!”

“Solas said you wanted to see me,” Dorian explained, a bit taken aback by her aggression. The two of them weren't exactly friends but he had hoped all this time together at least put them on a level of amiable acquaintanceship.

“When you joined the Inquisition, it was with the understanding that you wouldn't be going around performing magic whenever the mood struck you.” Dorian just stared at her. How in the world could she have known about the spell he cast earlier that day? And why would she be angry about it? He was the one who lost his powers! “Send your undead things away right this instant!” Cassandra demanded.

“My... what?”

“Don't play innocent! They've been seen crawling along the ramparts!”

“I really don't know what you're talking about,” Dorian insisted. He was starting to get a little irritated with her. “And I don't care for the insinuation that I go around raising the dead willy-nilly.”

“You're the only mage here who studied Mortalitasi. If you didn't call them, who did?”

“How the hell should I know?” Dorian snapped. The flare of temper startled Cassandra, and Dorian a little as well. He took a breath to calm himself. “I'll go see what the trouble is.” Not that he could do much without magic, but at least he could see what she was talking about.

When he got up to the ramparts Dorian saw that there were in fact several bound spirits roaming around. They seemed aimless, roaming back and forth and toppling over the side only to make their way back up again. Whoever bound them gave the spirits no direction but had shown enough control so the creatures weren't running wild. It was curious-- it was almost like the spell had been cast as an emotional response rather than a focused will. As he pondered this he noted how the spirits seemed to be gravitating toward Cullen's office. He doubted that was being received well by the former Templar.

“Be at peace,” Dorian commanded. He had no magic to banish them but he hoped his authoritative tone would do something. Predictably, he was ignored. So it would have to be severing the spirit's connection to the body by brute force. He moved toward Cullen's door to ask for his help but found the door barred by magic. Now that was very strange.

“Cullen?” he called out. “Are you all right in there?”

“Dorian?” Cullen answered. Dorian heard movement on the other side of the door. “Thank the Maker. Help me, please!”

“What's happening? There's a magical barrier on your door.”

“Yes, I know, I'm aware of that. It's to keep those bound spirits from getting in. They won't leave me alone!” One of them approached the door as if to prove the commander's point. It was stopped by the barrier and fell over the side of the castle. Falling to the ground didn't bother it and moments later it was back on its feet making its way back up.

“I just want you to know I had nothing to do with this,” Dorian assured him.

“I know. I did.”

“Ah... sorry, I must have misheard you,” Dorian frowned. “What do you mean, you did?” There was a moment of silence and the door opened. The barrier shimmered in the open space. Cullen's face was even more pale than usual and the fur mantle he usually wore was blackened and smelled burnt.

“I mean I summoned them somehow.” Dorian's frown deepened. Cullen lifted a hand and the magical barrier dropped; Dorian's jaw dropped a moment later. “You see?”

“How... but... did you just use magic?!” Dorian sputtered.

“Yes. Now get in quickly so I can put the barrier back up.” Dorian saved his questions and obediently stepped over the threshold. Cullen lifted his hand again and the barrier resumed its place. He shut the door for good measure. “That one I've mastered, at least,” Cullen huffed. “But I've no idea how I even brought those creatures here, let alone how to get rid of them.”

“Nevermind all that!” Dorian exclaimed. “You just used magic! How is that possible?!”

“I haven't the slightest idea. One moment I was going over some things and thinking to spend some time in the training yard, the next I'm casting healing spells and creating fireballs.” If it were anyone else, Dorian would find some delight in the irony of a Templar becoming a mage, but this was Cullen and he actually liked the man.

“Right. We'll worry about how that happened later. First we need to release those poor souls out there.” He coached Cullen through the releasing spell. Seeing the pulse of energy from the outside was a very surreal experience. Dorian opened the door just to make sure. “They're gone,” he reported. “Well done.”

“I'm glad you showed up,” Cullen sighed. “You like researching; you can help figure out how this happened.”

“I may know,” Dorian admitted. The pieces were coming together in his mind. “You see, I cast a spell earlier today. So I think I somehow gave you my magic. Unintentionally.”

[cjfritos]

In Dreams Begin (Jessa wedding story)

Obviously written by Cassandra Clare. I own no rights to this. This was included in first editions of The Lost Book of the White by her and Wesley Chu. It tells the story of Jem Carstairs and Tessa Gray’s wedding and explains why no one remembers it.

Unfortunately it does include some spoilers from LBW so if you have not read it yet, I don’t recommend reading it. Otherwise, enjoy :)

~~~

Magnus Bane was scheming.

         To an untrained observer, the High Warlock of Brooklyn wouldn’t look like he was doing much of anything at all. For one thing, he was wearing purple silk pajamas. For another thing, he was in bed, leaning back against a pile of pillows with a spell book open in his lap.

         Beside him, Alec Lightwood was stretched out on his side, deeply asleep. Earlier that day, Alec had taken their son, Max, to the Brooklyn Botanic Garden. This had been at Magnus’s request—he wanted Max to have ample opportunity to tire himself out before bedtime. It worked almost too well. Max had made fast friends with a werewolf toddler named Eliza, and the two of them tore around the gardens blissfully for about three hours straight, Max crawling while Eliza ran, albeit unsteadily. Eliza’s mother had been quite surprised the first time Max levitated. Luckily, he was glamoured so only she and Alec noticed.

         Though not possessed of much vocabulary, Eliza clearly wanted Max to levitate her as well. Fortunately, Max did not yet have that sort of skill. Alec and Max returned home happy, covered in mud, and—best of all—exhausted. Magnus really wanted them all to sleep through the night.

         Magnus shifted position and peered across the room at the mantel clock atop the dresser, a hideous thing covered in putti that Ragnor had given him years ago. The room was lit only by a candle that burned with a blue flame on the table beside him, but he could make out the numbers. It was one forty-five a.m. Surely that was late enough. Surely even the Shadowhunters and Downworlders of the West Coast would be turning in. He’d given Catarina and Jem and Tessa a heads-up, after all, and as for the Blackthorns and Emma Carstairs, they were kids! And not even babies, with their bizarre and erratic relationship to sleep. Surely the would be asleep by now, worn out from running around on the beach or whatever it was that the residents of the Los Angeles Institute did all day. Yes, it was time.

         Snuggling a little farther under the blanket, Magnus looked fondly over at Alec’s sleeping form, his black hair like spilled ink across the ivory pillowcase. He closed his book and set it on the bedside table. He mentally reached within, feeling about for a particular pocket of magic folded away deep inside, a self-contained bubble. I had been two weeks since he’d been freed from the influence of the Svefnthorn, and while the markings on his skin had faded, his teeth had shrunk back to their normal size, and the overcharged magic of the artifact had left his system, this one reserve of magical energy had lingered.

         At first, Magnus had considered hanging on to it as a sort of insurance policy. A little extra magic went a long way, especially when the magic was this potent, and Magnus was quite certain that he and Alec and their friends would have plenty more dangers to face in the years to come. That was their job, after all. But clinging to the magic out of fear of imagined dangers didn’t feel good. It felt like letting demons have a small victory over him, playing right into their scaly, demonic hands. No, instead he had resolved to use the power in a decidedly un-demon-sanctioned manner—to create joy.

         Magnus shut his eyes. Oneiromancy, the study and practice of dream magic, had never been one of his specialties. But with the added kernel of power from the Sveftnthorn, he felt quite confident that he could pull of this one feat, even as complex as it was. The trickiest part, it seemed to him, was holding himself in that drowsy state between waking and sleeping, while maintaining enough awareness to cast the spell. He lay back against the pillows, letting his eyelids flutter shut for just a moment….

~~~

When Magnus opened his eyes again, he was standing in the middle of Blackfriars Bridge, the panorama of London spread out around him in all directions.

         He took a deep breath of river-tasting air. The sky was a dark violet, the sun only just beginning to rise. There was no traffic, which was a distinct advantage to throwing a party on a dream bridge rather than on the real thing. There was a warm breeze in the air, and the Thames danced beneath it, silvery in the dawn light. Had he ever noticed wind in a dream before? Magnus wasn’t sure. He admired the view from the bridge—it seemed just about right, though he hadn’t been here for a couple decades. Perhaps some ugly new construction had taken place since then, but who would fault him for omitting that?

         “Magnus!”

         He turned and saw two figures hurrying toward him. It was Tessa and Jem, both in what Magnus assumed was their pajamas. Tessa’s were gray with white rabbits on them. Jem’s were dark-green-and-navy-blue plaid. They were barefoot, but that wouldn’t matter on a dream bridge. He started to smile as they got closer and he could see that they were both giddy and laughing, a hint of disbelief on their faces.

         Tessa threw her arms around him, knocking him off-balance. He marveled at how solid and real she felt.

         “It’s working!” she said in wonder.

         “A magical discipline unexplored is always worth exploring,” Magnus said, stepping back. “I may be late to the game with oreiromancy, but I plan to make up for my tardiness all at once, right now. Is that what your planning to wear to your wedding?”

         “It’s not traditional, but neither was the yellow cotton shirt dress I wore for the courthouse wedding. And I do love bunnies,” said Tessa. “I’m all right with it if Jem is.”

         “I would marry you if you were wearing a barrel,” said Jem.

         “But why would I be wearing a barrel?” said Tessa.

         They were both grinning at each other stupidly. Magnus decided something needed to be done; he wasn’t sure how long his magic would hold out.

         “I won’t have it!” he said. “If I’m to throw you a dream wedding, you must be properly dressed for the occasion. It’s in my contract. I do hope you read the fine print.”

         He snapped his fingers, and Jem’s pajamas were replaced by an exquisitely cut black suit. Magnus aimed for something that suggested the style of the Shadowhunter gear Jem had worn long ago, in the first years he knew Tessa. Wedding runes were intricately embroidered on the lapels in gold thread. As Jem marveled at the excellent fit, Magnus turned his attention to Tessa.

         “I know,” he said, “a wedding dress is a highly personal choice. But as our other guests will be arriving momentarily, and time is of the essence, I’m going to take a stab at it.”

         “You have my express permission,” Tessa said.

         Magnus snapped his fingers again, and the Tessa was wearing a beautiful sleeveless gown of pale silver, with a full skirt that reminded Magnus of the first time he’d met her, at a vampire ball. A couple more flicks of his fingers, and her hair rearranged itself beautifully into an updo, with a few tendrils loose around her face. One more gesture, and Tessa’s familiar jade pendant appeared around her neck—as did the pearl bracelet she always wore, a gift from Will on their thirtieth anniversary.

         Tessa looked startled, reaching up to touch her hair, then brushing her hands over the gown. “How do I look?”

         Jem looked very young again as he gazed at her, his dark eyes full of emotion. “Ni hen piao liang,” he whispered. You are very beautiful.

         Magnus turned away to give them a moment—and felt familiar arms close around him.

         Alec kissed Magnus on his forehead—being slightly shorter than Magnus, he had to pull Magnus down a bit to do it, which Magnus didn’t mind at all—and muttered, “You’re a sentimental bastard, aren’t you?” in his ear.

         But he was grinning all over his face as he turned to greet Tessa and Jem, congratulating them. They both looked delighted to see him.

         “So let me get this straight,” Alec said. “You, me, Tessa, and Jem will all remember this with perfect recall. For the other guests, they’ll remember it at first, but then it will fade away, the way dreams do?”

         “That is correct. They won’t recall it the way we will, but their souls will be present, and glad for it. Well, mostly glad for it,” Magnus said.

         “What do you mean, ‘mostly’?” Jem said nervously.

         “I mean that I’m not sure how Church will feel about the whole thing.”

         “Church!” Alec and Jem exclaimed at the same time, and turned to see the grumpy Persian cat sauntering toward them down the center of the bridge.

         Tessa laughed. “Well, he does sleep twenty hours a day. I suppose we shouldn’t be surprised.”

         “I took the liberty of adding him to the guest list you gave me,” Magnus said. “I’m trying to get on his good side.”

         “Why?” Alec asked, incredulous. “He’s a cat.”

         “So he won’t hate me forever when I do this.” Magnus snapped his fingers, and a silver bow in the same fabric as Tessa’s dress appeared around Church’s neck. Church’s eyes widened for a moment. Then he sat down, and after a moment, became very focused on cleaning his front paw.

         “Now,” Magnus said, “I simply must get this bridge decorated.”

         “It’s decorated perfectly,” said a voice from behind him. Turning, he saw Clary, who was holding Max. Behind her was Jace, followed by Isabelle and Simon, who were leaning together, whispering conspiratorially. Jocelyn and Luke were there, looking slightly unkempt, and Magnus remembered that they were in the process of remodeling a barn at Luke’s farm so Jocelyn could expand her painting studio. Ragnor and Catarina had also appeared, as well as a whole gaggle of kids—the Blackthorn clan. Julian and Helen, Tiberius and Livia, Drusilla and Octavian. Emma Carstairs was with them, though she broke away from the group immediately, running to hug Clary. They were the same height now, Magnus noticed with amusement. Max had escaped from Clary and was riding on Alec’s shoulders now, babbling a story to Helen Blackthorn and her wife, Aline. They looked very amused, though it was unlikely they understood even a quarter of what he said.

         Maryse and Kadir were there too, already deep in conversation with Jocelyn and Luke. Kadir hadn’t been on the guest list Jem and Tessa had given Magnus, because they didn’t really know him, but Magnus had added him as Maryse’s plus-one. It never hurt to butter up your boyfriend’s mother, especially when she was willing to babysit for days at a time.

         A couple Silent Brothers had appeared—Enoch? Shadrach? Magnus was slightly embarrassed to admit that they all looked alike to him, now that Jem was no longer counted among their number as Brother Zachariah. Magnus hadn’t known if the Gregori would be able to attend, since they didn’t normally sleep. One of them—Enoch?—inclined his hooded head slightly at Magnus, acknowledging this mad thing he was doing as worthwhile. At least that was how Magnus chose to interpret the gesture.

         Octavian was climbing Jace like a jungle gym. Clary was talking with Julian and Emma, while Tiberius stood near his older brother, looking around at London with fierce curiosity in his gray eyes. Livia and Drusilla were perched on the railing of the bridge, Livia chatting animatedly with Simon and Isabelle, Drusilla looking around shyly. Catarina went to lean beside her, asking her a question. Magnus looked at the motley assortment of clothing on the assembled group. Mostly casual, though there were more pajamas as well. Magnus made two sweeping gestures, and all at once everyone was looking very sharp in formal attire. Even better, they barely seemed to notice the change. Magnus was impressed. Oneiromancy—who knew!

         A hand gripped his arm. It was Tessa, who looked close to tears. “Magnus. I can’t believe you’re doing this for us. I…” She trailed off, at a loss for words.

         Magnus regarded her fondle. “Tessa, most people’s idea of a dream wedding is not a literal dream wedding. But since yours is, I am happy to oblige. Shall we get this show on the road?”

         Jem and Tessa took their places on either side of Magnus, and the guests gathered around. The sun had climbed well above the horizon, casting rays of warm light between the long shadows of the wedding guests.

         “Dear friends,” Magnus said to Jem and Tessa, “we are honored to share this moment with you, and I am doubly honored to be given the chance to speak. Several hundred years ago I got very drunk and woke up as ordained minister. Today I have decided that doing so was a wise choice after all.”

         Jocelyn snorted, then looked embarrassed. Luke grinned at her.

         “Joking aside, it is impossible to stand here with you all and not feel that there is some greater plan at work, some greater force that has brought these two souls across more than a century to be joined as one.”

         Clary’s eyes were glistening. Jace reached into his pocket and offered her what looked like a handkerchief but was more likely a soft cloth for polishing blades. She gave a wry smile of recognition, and sniffled into it.

         “I debated which customs to follow in officiating this wedding,” Magnus went on. “Whether to conduct a Shadowhunter ceremony, or a warlock ceremony, or even a mundane ceremony, for many worlds have been united in the two of you. But none of these traditions seemed quite appropriate on their own. So I’ve attempted to tailor a ceremony that will honor your unique paths.”

         Magnus nodded to Jem, who reached into his pocket and produced a gold ring. Jem had requested a single word etched around the outside of it: Mizpah.

         “It has been said,” said Magnus, “that when two people are at one in their inmost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze. Theresa Gray, are you at one with James Carstairs in your inmost heart?”

         Tessa’s eyes were wide, her face serious as she gazed at Jem. “I am,” she said, offering her hand to him. He slid the ring onto her finger.

         The Magnus nodded at Tessa, who produced another ring, this one from thin air. Magnus had to suppress the grin that threatened to break his calm officiant expression. It delighted him that Tessa was engaging in a small amount of oneiromancy herself, and Jem looked as pleased by it as Magnus felt. This ring was the exact match of the first, and he knew what it said as well: May the Angel watch between me and thee when we are absent from one another.

         “James Carstairs—Ke Jian Ming—are you at one with Theresa Gray in your inmost heart?”

         “I am,” Jem said, delight visible in his dark eyes. Tessa put the ring on him, and they stood for a moment, holding hands and smiling at each other like they couldn’t quite believe this was happening.

         “For I am persuaded,” said Magnus, and Jem and Tessa both looked up at him, recognizing a piece of the old Shadowhunter wedding ceremony, though he had altered the wording, “that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor demons, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate these two.” He stretched out his arms. “Therefore I am overjoyed to declare this marriage consecrated, here in the presence of your friends and family. Tessa Gray and Jem Carstairs, you are married, and the world is better for it. You may kiss each other, not that you really need my permission.”

         The assembled crowd cheered as Jem and Tessa kissed, a kiss that had been long delayed. The kiss continued, and Magnus slowly backed away, joining the cheering audience. “Let’s give them a moment,” he said, and happy chatter swelled around him.

         Magnus noted that Alec was looking very foxy in his Armani suit, laughing with Maryse. Ragnor and Catarina were cackling over something, glad to be reunited now that Ragnor didn’t have to pretend to be dead—or at least, didn’t have to pretend with them. Clary had her arm draped over Emma’s shoulders, and Jace was arguing with Simon about how to properly tie a necktie. Tiberius and Drusilla were watching this argument as though it were a tennis match. Julian had lifted Octavian up so he could look down at the river flowing by beneath. Isabelle was joking with Livia, who was giving Max a piggyback ride. It was a miraculously good wedding.

         Here they were, his friends. They’d literally gone into Hell twice with him now. He found himself reflecting on how much had changed. At first his life had felt like Magnus against the world. Then for years and years it had been Magnus, Catarina, and Ragnor against the world. Now his community was a much larger group, one that had spread wide enough that instead of Magnus and his friends against the world, it felt like Magnus and his friends, a part of the world. Probably the best part of the world.

         It was a good feeling.

         “Look!” a girl’s voice cried. It was Drusilla, pointing up into the sky, eyes wide with wonder. There was a collective gasp as the crowd saw what she had spotted. Two figures flew overhead, riding a translucent white stallion with two gold hooves and two silver. One of them was a blond boy in ragged clothes, who looked down at the Blackthorns and waved. The figure in front of him was harder to make out—a gentry faerie in clothes just as ragged, only he was as translucent as the horse. The blond boy must be Mark Blackthorn, Magnus marveled. He’d “invited” the whole family, not knowing whether those who rode with the Wild Hunt could be summoned by dream magic. He had his answer, but it came with another mystery. Who was this companion, so close to Mark that they would appear together in a dream?

         The riders made a circle overhead, while the Blackthorns shouted and waved, and Mark waved back, smiling an odd smile down at them. Then they faded away into the morning air.

         Magnus saw with relief that Jace, Clary, Simon, Isabelle, and Alec had all move in around the Blackthorn kids, giving them an opportunity to talk about what they had just seen—their stolen brother, visiting so briefly.

         He glanced over and saw Tessa and Jem still standing by the railing. There was a shimmer beside them, at the edge of the bridge, and the hair on the back of Magnus’s neck rose.

         He knew Will Herondale had never haunted the moral world, because he had lived and died happily and had no unfinished business among the living. While Magnus didn’t subscribe to any specific set of beliefs about reincarnation or the afterlife, he had always had a strong sense that Will was waiting on the other bank of a dark river—be it Lethe, or some other border between the living and the dead. He was there among the green grass, the sky above as dark a blue as his eyes, waiting patiently for Jem and Tessa to join him, that he might lead them by the hand to whatever wonders lay beyond the veil.

         The philosophers of ancient Greece had believed dreams and sleep to be the twin of death: Morpheus and Hades, standing side by side. And here, in that space, Magnus would not have been surprised if Will stretched out his hand to those he had loved best in life—to Jem and Tessa.

         He was, after all, a Herondale, and very stubborn.

         Alec sidled up to Magnus, leaving the Blackthorns in the capable hands of his siblings and their partners. The kids seemed to have taken Mark’s appearance as a sort of wedding favor created especially for them.

         Alec twinned an arm around Magnus’s waist and pulled him close, kissing him on the temple. “It was very kind of you to use the last of your Svefnthorn magic on this,” he said.

         Magnus leaned into Alec. “Well, it wasn’t enough magic to send us to the moon, or get us into the front row at the Alexander McQueen runway. So I figured, next best thing.”

         Alec smiled at him pointedly. “Actually, I happen to know that you did it because you are an incredibly kind person, and that is one of the many things I love about you.”

         “Oh dear,” Magnus said, turning to face him. “You know all my secrets.”

         Then they were kissing, and kissing in a magical dream turned out to be just as perfect as kissing in the waking world.

[flour-cloud]

Henlo fandom! Now we explore that angst situation where Alcina is drunk by a excessive amount of maiden's blood and passed out in front of Donna's door. Mention of: self-inflicted pain, blood, tortures and loss of children.

It is a cold, dark night. When that forgotten-by-Gods village had a night with a full moon and shining stars? Something that was remotely...nice? Alcina was devastated by Ethan's murder of her daughters, she managed to survive by pure accident and the basements smell so good, that place looks so inviting and tempting: darkness, loneliness, silence. Peace. A dead woman rotten to the core clearly belonged to a place with that aura. A long,red,solitary tear run from her eyes to her neck all the way down that white, burned and ripped dress she loves so much. Alcina put her head under the blood line in a tub full of sanguine Virginis than she walks out the door. That disgusting human stole the body of her angels after the fight. If the vampire had a heart she probably would ripped it off her chest. The lady of the castle try to sit on chair made of iron spines in order to feel something different. Maybe that inflicted pain is the proof she has a heart,but one that does not pump anymore. If she peeled her skin maybe she would find crystals, something more noble than that rotten corpse that she is.That numb in her mind ... she was unable to say a single word about anything. The blood she drunk is restoring her body-structures and organs, but she has no urgency of breathing. Suddenly,when the moon reveals itself trough clouds Alcina decides to stand up and drink some more. Her head only reminds her how disgraceful that behaviour is.

So Alcina walks for minutes,for hours, ignored by monsters on the streets,by animals. And she passed out in a foggy zone she does not remember .

Angie opened the door.

"Mom! That tall busty woman smalls bad! Maybe is dead! Can we use her skin? May I have her claws? We can cut them off! " suggests the creature .

It is not usual that Donna moves to the front door from her chamber and her laboratory in the house,but when Angie calls mom should be there, no? A woman passed out at her door? A tall,busty woman? Maybe Alcina? That sounds bad. She paused for a moment and she looks down at her feet the big, stained and smelling body. "Call for help,Angie " Donna decides abruptly "no,darling, you can't have claws from her,she is alive. Very alive, stinky, but alive".

A bunch of clowns and creepy broken dolls help to transport Alcina inside.

Donna is disappointed when Alcina's blood stained the elegant sofa, she scrunch her nose a bit. "Now what? I am bored,mom". "Now we wait, Angie, come here" that authoritative and quiet calls is enough for the doll to obey happily.

Alcina opens her eyes.

"What happened?"asks Donna "miss, what happened?".

"I ... Bela,Cassandra...Daniela" the vampire tried to speak with a bit of fake confidence "they are gone. My precious angels are gone" more blood more tears more stains shaking in her big, massive body.

"Ethan" Donna is clever and fast in deduction "I have to give him the second piece of that baby".

"Miranda will scold you" a fake answer to something that was not a question.

"I am not afraid of her" Donna answers "are you afraid of Mother Miranda?"

"You should. She is immortal until we gave Rose pieces" tells the vampire. Alcina breathe instinctively for a moment and she looks at the veiled woman "she took you,darling,why disrespecting her?"

"Why fight to live without hope of a win? Why to live without the ones we love? We were chosen by mother's, but we are us, we ... feel. She doesn't. I am supposed to be grateful but Mother Miranda only expanded my sorrow."

The whole debate happened trough a doll. A demonic,creepy,doll that Alcina found incredibly creepy but well preserved. The lady scans the room with the eyes able to see in the dark: well dressed dolls with perfect hair and the finest jewelry on the shelves, the flowers and the toxic flowers on the table, the finest piece of furniture. That woman shows taste in art and wood pieces. Alcina looked at her hands: pale long fingers with nails painted in black.

Donna suddenly look distressed and she disappeared in the deep of the house. The conversation was too much for her fragile mind. She need some space and Alcina was not in the mood to follow her.

Time goes by, Ethan got the baby part, but Donna is still alive. Alcina hide while all happened.

Alcina does not know why that dolls were so fascinated by her. Not only Angelica was possessed and possessive, but she started to follow her with a big scissor in her tiny hand. The woman takes her up one day:"Mom she picked me,mom!"the doll screams from the top of her lungs.

Donna remained silent.

Alcina show a vague interest in the demonic creature, but she acts sweetly when the focus is on her: someone like her cannot be bothered by a minuscule doll.

"Are you afraid of heights?"

"I want your claws! Mama does not want me to have them, but they are beautiful and sharpened!" she laughed hysterically.

"You have to listen to your mother, sweet creature" she whispered "mother knows best".

"You have daughters! I remember mama told me about them".

"I had . They were killed by Ethan". It is the first time Alcina can say it out loud, verbally. That sentence sounds unbreakable and definitive, but true.

The doll sits on her shoulder:"You are so tall madame, I can climb you. I still don't get why you choose my door to pass out a week ago".

Ah,the voices shifting, Donna is back from darkness.

"Do you want to climb me specifically, Donna,or is that a little joke from your doll?". Alcina does not have idea if she was flirty and why. The artist does not want to makes Donna close herself again inside her dark mind.

Alcina thought about the last time she met the dollmaker, that elegant, dark and melancholic figure that speaks only by her doll. In the past week she saw Beneviento dress, the creative process of her creatures. "She has daughters that will never be corrupted by Miranda" she thoughts feeling the sadness arise in her chest.

Donna in her room is sewing faster than usual. She missed a point. She is distracted, she is afraid and that sentence in mind:"Do you want to climb me?" What does that mean? That woman has no shame literally and Donna does not want to be touched by anyone. Maybe Angie could do some work with her body and that vampire was enormous. Ugh. Too much to process.

Donna Beneviento decide she should do something about the vampire question in her room downstairs.

"I am sorry for the loss you experienced " Donna declared with her firm and soft voice "I want to give you something" . The creative act is sacred to Donna, she infused the presents with magic and dark force but the looks,oh, the details, the refined painting and the matching capes. Every doll has its own blade and insects made by gemstones on the dresses.

Alcina collapsed on her knees and then looked to Donna who keep an unreadable expression under her curtain. "You should stop drink this much, madame. I cannot stay here every night of my life listening to bad jokes about sapphic sex".

Donna run away and Alcina takes two big breaths in, two out. These dolls were identical to her daughters, it was a gift by Donna , a sign of her attention to the loss and mourning the woman faced.

No, her daughters did not die forever. She takes the dolls and cuddle them, she held them onto her chest.

What was that about sapphic sex? The vampire rolled her eyes.

Also Angie climb up to her. She wants to be cuddled and hugged.

"You'll may be my new second mum if you stop scaring mama Donna" she warning the woman.

"I am not scaring your mother and I was still drunk".

"Don't try to justify yourself!" That scream again from empty lungs not used to work properly. Alcina avoided a blade from Angie. "Mom appreciated you eradicated flowers Miranda gave us. Mom wants to be happy. Mom wants to be safe ".

Alcina ripped the horrendous flowers from the house and the garden one of the morning after she get drunk. Alcina as a perfect lady was not able to keep her hands out of Donna's house that was... dirty, if she had to say kindly. The lady decided that an act of good can do better than a dozens words of wisdom.

"I did it because it was necessary: if she wanted to be freed from Miranda's power the flowers are a first step".

"Mom knows that you are kind and considerate. Sometimes. When you do not eat human flesh, she doesn't like that behaviour ".

"It is not something I decided to start: It is a consequence of the mutation Miranda induced" the vampire defends herself.

"She knows,but she does not like it anyway" replied Angie" and she also think you two have two talk when she feels better". Alcina agreed

The next monday Donna feel better to face a conversation. At 9.00 in the morning,Donna shows up at the table .

Alcina looked at her:"How are you,darling?".

"Scared" answered Donna " and tired. Do you still have some jokes about sex? I find sex repulsive".

"I find sex interesting. But I am the one here who is trivial and coarse isn't it?" She smiled " so you are interested in me but not in sexual situations. Ok" she sipped a little of blood tea.

Beneviento didn't expected that fast acceptance for her condition about their relationship. Relationship? Oh God. She looked at Alcina.

"Is that ok for you?".

"Incredibly ok" answered the vampire lady "you host me in your home, you gave me your couch and you use your magic for me without doubting a moment. If I have to renounce sex for all of this...fine. your doll is far more interesting to me than a vagina".

"Thank you". The only thing miss Beneviento was able to think about was "thank you" like a broken neon.

The vampire nodded :"yes,I know, I am fabulous and awesome and I eat human flesh but darling,I would be too perfect If I didn't. You have fetus in the hall".

"It is an allucination" said Donna but she laughed "do you like it? Sometimes I call it Roger".

"You give your hallucinations names?"asked the woman.

"They were the only thing I had before your drunk depressed night walk".

"So I did the right thing somehow" decided the brunette, happily .

"No, but I am not in the position to criticise your choices ".

"You did it right now".

"I prefer to call what I did - exposing facts-" Donna take the tea.

Alcina laughed and also Angie.

"You have very strange reaction when you are afraid. So you need another mom for Angie?"

The dollmaker was quiet for a moment:"Yes. And weren't you the one who was happy with climbing up to each other?".

Sassy. Donna Beneviento is incredibly sassy when she feel enough strength and emotional involvement with someone. Alcina loves it.

"So can I climb on you?"asked Angie to Alcina" now you are my mom!" The little doll was delighted with her new person in the house.

Alcina gave to Donna a long,intense and funny sight. The question implied is clear to them both.

Maybe Donna also needed a mom sometimes. Maybe her damaged mind blurs the lines between the affection she missed and the affection she is getting,but that's not important. She is happy again, the house is full of living presences. A vampire. Oh,the irony...

The doll hugged mom Alcina strongly.

Miranda punished Donna for the misbehaving and the Ethan question, she suffered again and she came back home struggling to breathe properly because of the tortures she faced.

Alcina preserved her and protected her till the end of their time. The explosion and the mold died was a relief to both of them. Angie was broken,but Donna opened her single eye with the face covered in blood. She snuggled into Alcina arms for a moment covering her dress with stains, the vampire cleanse the veils in a fountain and put them back on Donna's angelic face, giving her a kiss.

"Sleep,darling, you are tired" Dimitrescu murmured while caressing the hair of the other woman on her lap "sleep,I am here. We did it. Ethan won".

"I want to be drunk right know" Donna declared and gives Alcina a kiss, a long, intense blood-tasting kiss.

"Nah,darling,better this way. I am sure tomorrow you will be at work for something that can climb up to me and I have a maiden to crush".

"Probably " answered Donna "but please,do not left the couch dirty. I have only one couch" and she fall asleep after a long time, hand in hand with someone who loves.

[remmushound]

Toddler Mutant Ninja Turtles, chapter 6: Time to Grow up @selfindulgenz @scentedcandlecryptid @digitl-art-monstr

The three friends split up to cover more ground. Traveling by the fading light of day was a risk, but a risk they were willing to take. There was only six hours left to find that jellyfish before the change was permanent, and there was no time to lose. All they had to go off of was what Michelangelo had heard Donatello say about the mutant. Her habits lead the three to split their attention between any buildings that had any shiny or unique artifacts on display. It was easier for the girls to get through the crowds unseen, their designated babies tucked safely against their chests and out of sight of any prying eyes. For Michelangelo, traversing the buildings while also having Leonardo strapped to his plastron was proving more difficult than it should have been.

“Any update?” Michelangelo whispered into his wristband; he had just cleared another building with no luck and had taken to the roof. Leonardo was secured to him in a blanket expertly tucked and knotted into a baby carrier, the two of them plastron to plastron. The toddler was sucking on a pacifier and hugging onto his childhood unicorn, safely pinned between him and Michelangelo so it wouldn’t fall. Finally, he had started to drift to sleep.

“None here.” April said; she had Donatello in a similar blanket bouncer, except with a bigger blanket so there was more slack to cover the turtle. Finally, there was a period of silence from the colicky toddler as he squished his baby shell armor— it was really just an old sponge with plastic wrap on it, but Donatello didn't seem to care either way as he deeply breathed in the scent of his special spongie.

“Me either.” Cassandra reported; it had proven difficult to hide all of Raphael within the baby bouncer, so Cassandra had grabbed one of Raphael’s oversized sweater to cover both herself and the baby. It came down below her knees and she had to constantly reposition the hood so it wasn’t blinding her, but it was preferable to the baby being seen. Currently, Raphael was gnashing on a frozen rubber ring and having a good time doing so.

“Well keep looking!” Michelangelo groaned.

“Really? I thought I’d stop for an ice cream.” April grumbled.

On they searched. Six hours turned to four, and then to two. Two hours to one. Sunset had come and gone, the night taking hold so progress was faster and easier. Building after building was cleared with no sign of the mutant jellyfish. Forty minutes left. Michelangelo was getting desperate, and he was running out of ideas. He was sure he had gone to every potential building, some even twice!

Thirty-five minutes. Cassandra was starting to panic. She was exhausted, and having to haul a twenty-pound weight on her chest was doing her no favors. Raphael wasn’t a big fan of the long restraint either and had started to wiggle and writhe in an attempt to free himself so he could stretch out his stiff muscles. Every time he’d get close, Cassandra would simply shove him back in and the baby would have to start all over again.

Twenty minutes. April didn't know what to do. Checking building after building was getting them nowhere, and with time ticking fast she had to try a different approach. Pacing the empty streets, April stared intently at her phone begging it to load faster. She googled immortal jellyfish— she had heard something about it on the internet and figured it was a good place to start. Dohrnii jellyfish was what they were called, she soon learned, and she used that to search up facts about them.

When endangered or threatened, these jellyfish can revert to a polyp, April read. First discovered in 1883, Mediterranean Sea, blah blah blah. They’re saltwater animals. April hurmed and looked out past the buildings and to the Hudson river. It wasn’t exactly salt water, but it wasn’t quite fresh water either… and it was close to the target zone that Donatello had marked out.

Ten minutes. April got to the docks, and she saw her. The jellyfish was drifting in the air just above the Hudson, tracing her tentacles across the surface and humming softly among the mist. April ducked behind a shipping container.

“I found her.” April whispered to her bracelet. “Down at the Hudson near the docks.”

“I’m on the way.” Michelangelo’s voice came back, “Just stay where you are!”

“That’s the plan.” April said.

Six minutes left. Four minutes left. April hoped they would hurry. Donatello was getting fussy, babbling softly as he pulled his spongie free and started to lift it up and down, squeezing the soft texture in his hands. He ended up tossing it a little too high though, and the sponge slipped from his hands and fell. He couldn’t see where it went, and he certainly couldn’t reach it! The toddler started to whine and, in an attempt to get his caregivers attention, he tugged at her hair.

“Ow! Donnie!” April growled softly.

Donatello tried to ask for his spongie, but all the came out was babble, and she couldn’t understand that. Donatello tried again and again until he got so frustrated and upset about not being heard that he started to cry. April covered his mouth, but it was too late.

The jellyfish disappeared under the water before April could silence the cries and was out of sight at the very moment that Cassandra and Michelangelo arrived.

“April!” Michelangelo announced his presence in a hushed call, “We’re here! Where is she?”

“She…” The words felt horribly bitter on April’s tongue, “She… she just went under the water…”

Michelangelo's face said nothing but pure fear as he ran from his cover and to the very ends of the docks, peeking into the water to try and catch even the slightest glimpse of the fleeing jellyfish. There was nothing, and when the alarm they had set went off, he sank to his knees. Their time was up.

“No…”

April covered her mouth. Cassandra had come to her side; when the timer went off, she finally picked Raphael up out of the jacket he was struggling against and she could have sworn the snapper understood what was happening. The sad look on his face was unmistakable.

“Mikey, I’m so, so sorry…” April said, near tears as she took only a few steps toward Michelangelo. She noticed Raphael at that time and, instead of getting closer, she picked Donatello out of his bouncer and set him down so both toddlers could make their unsteady way over to their brother. Her foot brushed against the sponge and she knelt to pick it up. “He… he dropped his spongie and… and he started crying…”

“I want my big brothers back…” Michelangelo was in tears. He pulled Leonardo out of his bouncer so he could hug the toddler; Leonardo seemed concerned when he felt the tears drip on him, and he raised a hand to gently wipe Michelangelo’s cheeks while babbling softly. “I miss them…”

Leonardo frowned. He stopped wiping his brother's tears when he saw Donatello and Raphael crawling over, not to Michelangelo, but toward the water. Leonardo gave an excited squeal and crawled after them while Michelangelo stared out at nothing. One by one, three tiny plops came as three tiny turtles climbed into the water.

For minutes, nothing was said. Cassandra just happened to look up at the perfect time to be the first to see a blue light start to glow from under the bubbling water. Then April noticed, and then Michelangelo. Under the surface, three tiny silhouettes became three large ones, and out onto the docks climbed three confused teenaged turtles.

“Uh. Why are we naked?” Leonardo said, looking down at his bare body and grasping at his naked head; sure, there was nothing to be seen beyond the shell, but privacy was still a thing!

“BROTHERS!” Michelangelo tossed himself at them, and all three older brothers were there to catch and hold him in a shared embrace. “OHHH! I love I love you I love you!”

“Hey!” Raphael laughed, not understanding what was happening but enjoying it anyway. “Hey—what happened?”

“OH MY GOD IT WAS SO HORRIBLE! You were babies an I wasn’t so that meant I was older than you three when you three were supposed to be older than be and that meant I was the older brother and not you three and then Splinter went on vacation and we couldn’t find the jellyfish but then April found the jellyfish and she called us but then Donnie dropped his spongie and started to cry, very rude BTDubs, and then time ran out and I thought you were babies forever but you’re not and now you’re here and we’re hugging~” Michelangelo ended the breathless speel by pressing his head into each of his brothers' chests.

“Anyone get any of that?” Raphael asked, looking to his brothers.

“Not a clue.” Donatello said.

“I did.” Leonardo nodded, “But that still don’t explain where our clothes went.”

“Ohhh I’d take you naked or not!” Michelangelo declared happily, and then his expression darkened, “I’d prefer not though. Let's get you guys some clothes.”

“Now wait just a babylonian minute— April!” Donatello separated from his brothers and stomped over to April, snatching the purple sponge from her hand. “What are you doing with my spongie?! It’s mine! You can’t have it!”

“I don’t want it.” April smirked.

Donatello gasped and held up the sponge. “How could you not want it? This is the most perfect, most nostalgic, most explanatory sponge thou hast ever laid thine eyes upon—“

“Wait— but the time ran out!” Cassandra said, ignoring April and Donatello’s antics. “How are you guys… well— you again?”

“I mean… I wasn’t probably wasn’t completely accurate down to the minute.” Michelangelo admitted shyly, and then added just as shy, “And all she said was that I had 24 hours to find her… not what happened when the time was over. I thought she meant that the change would be permanent, but it’s not! So… yay!”

Cassandra took a sharp breath. “Yay.”

“But… I wonder what she meant…” Michelangelo trailed off staring into the river that had welcomed the jellyfish mutant back into its murky depths where her new treasures would provide for her in her next life. She prepared to make the reverting change, satisfied her final lesson had left its mark on the turtle mutant.