#Carol you bitch why did you try to kill the child

[arisveah]

started watching quarentina yesterday, i love lucie dearly she’s such an older asshole sister.

As I am posting this she is being dragged away by the monster this is awful Lucie nooooooo

[justmeinadaze]

Head Filled With Demons Part 2 (Steddie X You)

A/N: If you haven't read that first one please do! It explains some things. Again, I play fast and loose with demon mythology and some things that happen in Season 4 of Stranger Things.

By the way! You guys ask a lot of thought provoking questions :). I love it! I do want y'all to know I plan on answering any things I allude to in any of the chapters in future ones so dont worry <3

There is a scene where they are talking in her head. Eddie's dialogue will be in red.

Warnings: Demon Steddie X Human Female Reader, SMUT, this dips heavily into their dominate side (smacking, rough smut, choking, taunting, holding her wrists down, undermining names like "Little Girl".), there are mentions of the readers past relationships with other partners crossing the lines (very brief). FLUFF, they do open up a bit more with her and vise versa.

ANGST: Lots of Angst! We do learn more about why both demons were banished. There are two killings including the HER Eddie has mentioned. Readers father is sick, talks about losing her mother, this chapter does focus a lot on the grief of losing any kind of loved one <3, mentions of blackmail (in a vision) as well as a sick child (very brief, not described just mentioned).

Word Count: 7545

It’s so warm…why is it so warm? 

As your eyes shoot open, you realize the room is on fire and you immediately jump out of bed. Bolting to your window, you try to pull it open but it won’t budge. The buildings outside are in just as bad a shape as you watch Hawkins residents run from the blazes that surround them. 

“Dad?!”

Quickly, you run to open the door and head to your father’s room, shocked when you don’t find him there.

“Dad! Where are you?!”

Sprinting into the burning living room, your stopped by the presence of your two demons looking down at you with soft smiles. 

“We told you what would happen, honey.”, Steve shrugs. “It’s kind of funny this is how we would go out, huh Ed?”

“No! I still have time!”

“No, sweetheart. You don’t…but you did the best you could.”

“Where…where’s my dad?”

They don’t answer as they continue to stare at you with those gentle brown eyes. It reminds you of how each of your parents looked at you when they told you they were sick; pain and empathy, mixed with…acceptance.

“You don’t have to stay here. Go to Oblivion. You said you could live there and be safe!”

Eddie stepped forward and tenderly ran his thumb along your bottom lip. 

“I already lost one princess. I’m not losing another.” 

Abruptly, he yanks you to his chest and wraps his arms tightly around you before you feel another set of limbs hook around your waist. The world around you seems to shake as the house caves in—

A gasp leaves your mouth as your body shoots up in your bed. Panting, you look around the room trying to find your bearings as you slowly begin to realize you’re safe and it was all just a dream. 

On impulse, you reach out to the other side of the bed behind you only to realize Steve isn’t there; neither of them are. Sighing, you rise from the mattress and get ready for the day.

***

“I see Space Cadet is back.”, Carol mocks as she smacks her gum. “Are you going to work today or are you just going to stand there staring into the void?”

You glare at her, flashing a fake smile as you continue to fold the clothes in front of you. 

“No one would blame you for killing that one.” You jump at the sound of Eddie’s voice. “After what she did to you and the fact that she still has the audacity to still be a bitch.”

“Plus, popping gum like that is fucking annoying.”

You smirk at Steve’s comment as you try not to look at either of them, not wanting to seem like a crazy person talking to yourself. 

“Y/N! My office, please.”, your boss shouts from across the store. 

“Geez, ok Dick, don’t need to yell.”, Eddie playfully whines as you head towards the back area. 

“Hey Richard. Is something wrong?”

“Um, yes, Y/N there is but don’t worry we’re talking to everyone not just you. It seems that…”

His voice drones on as both demons lean against the wall behind him. “He’s not an innocent for sure. He blackmails women all the time who are caught shoplifting.” Steve snaps his fingers and you see a quick flash of your boss sauntering around the office you are currently in as a twenty-something year old girl sits with her arms folded. 

“Now, I don’t want to call the police and I don’t have to…if you do something for me. A girl like you seems to be very good with her hands…”

“What do you think, Y/N?”

You rapidly shake your head and the image disappears. “Huh?”

“I asked if you noticed anything odd since we’ve been missing money from the till every night.’

“Oh! Um… no I haven’t but I’m also not here past six because of my dad…”

��That’s right. I’m sorry I completely forget that you look after him. Alright, just...you know…keep both eyes open.”

Politely nodding, you get up and leave the room as quickly as possible. 

“You need a new job, sweetheart. Maybe after you save the world from the apocalypse you can find something better with people who aren’t douchebags.”

“That’s every customer service job though.”, you whisper.

“She’s not wrong.”, Steve chuckles. “It’s like hell before you go to hell.”

Turning to face the wall, you pretend to organize some of the items in front of you. “Have you two ever been there? Hell?”

“Steve, I’m starting to think she can’t read. No, Y/N. We’re from a different realm, remember. Completely different place.” 

You scowl at him, stomping towards the backroom where no one could see you. As soon as you closed the door, they both appeared behind you. 

 “Why are you such an asshole to me? Aren’t you supposed to be like on my side or something? Didn’t that thing say you two were good at relieving stress?”

“I don’t know, you tell us. Did we do good last night?”

“That doesn’t give you license to be a jerk. And aren’t you supposed to be protecting me?”, you ask gesturing towards Steve. 

“From physical harm, not your personal feelings.” 

“Y/N!” You huff under your breath as Carol barges into the room. “Are you going to work today or what?!”

“No! No, Carol, I’m fucking not! I’m using some of my sick leave.”

“Y-you can’t do that!”

“I can’t? Well shit. I should stay here then. Maybe I can talk to Richard again about how great of an employee you are. I think he would love to hear about you fucking my boyfriend in the breakroom during business hours!”

“I-I-I…um…”

“Good. I’ll see you in a few days.” You give her a sassy wink as you storm out the front door.

########

You lean your head next to your mother’s gravestone as you exhale heavily. 

“That was amazing. Watching you standing up for yourself like that.”, Steve softly smiled as they both sat next to you. When you didn’t respond, he glared at his friend and nudged him with his elbow.

“Y/N, I’m…ugh…I’m sorry for…hurting your feelings.” Eddie winces at the last word like it left a bad taste in his mouth. 

“Have you always been mean like this?”

“Yes.”

“No.”

You giggle at their answers as you shift your body to face them a bit more. 

“Were you ever mean to her? Your princess.”

The metalhead’s eyes clouded over with anger as he growled and turned away. “I told you not to talk about that. You don’t know anything about it.”

“That’s why I’m asking.” When he growls again, you sigh turning your attention towards the gravestone next to you. “When my mother died, it killed me to talk about her. I know that sounds dramatic but it’s true. Anytime anyone would come up to me and give me their condolences or talk about some memory with her it was like being stabbed in the chest. I would always think ‘The fuck do you know? She was my mom and meant so much to me.’ People only knew her for small moments…I knew her my whole life.”

When you glance at Eddie again, you notice his entire demeanor has changed. He’s still glaring at the ground but his face softened as he listened to you speak. His jaw tightened before his eyes closed and he snapped his fingers. Images filled your mind of a beautiful, bright world with the sun beaming on a mansion style home. 

You heard sniffles from a figure sitting outside against the wall of the house. She was curled into a ball, crying into her arms as she hugged her knees to her chest. 

“Are you alright?” The girl jumps at the sound of Eddie’s voice. “Sorry! I didn’t mean to startle you, princess. I just…wanted to see if you were okay.”

“Yeah, I’m…can I ask you something?”

He comes to her side and slides to the ground. “Of course.”

“Do you…ever feel like…you’re losing your mind?”

Eddie flashes her a toothy smile before playfully pouting out his lips. “Oh, you know…just on a daily basis.” As she laughs, his smile grows. He loved the sound of her laugh. “What’s going on, Chrissy?”

She gazes up at him with her big, beautiful eyes before curling up in his side. “My dad wants me to marry someone I don’t want to.” She began to cry harder as he pulled her tighter to him, resting his chin on her head. “I just want to be with you.”

The memory cleared and you were back in reality. 

“She was gorgeous.”

“Yeah…she was.”

“Do you know what happened? To her I mean.”

“Does it matter?”, Eddie snapped. “She fucking died and they blamed me.”

Steve hesitated a bit before raising his fingers and snapping them together.

“Chris! Come on!”, Eddie whispers as he enters her room. “We need to go now, babe.”

His eyes scan the scene in front of him as his body freezes at the sight. Chrissy was on the floor with a knife in her chest as blood drenched the carpet around her. The weapon was one he had used before but gave to her so she’d feel safe. 

“Baby?” He fell to his knees as he reached out to touch her face…she was gone. “N-no. No, no, no!” Eddie pulled out the knife and threw it across the room as he lifted her into his arms. “Wake up, princess, please! Please, baby. I need you.”

The doors to her room flew open as her father’s guards charged in; people he knew Chrissy considered like family. 

“Come on, Edward. Don’t make this harder than it has to be.”

He tenderly kissed the princess’s forehead before slowly getting to his feet and bolting towards the hidden exit he entered through.

“You fucking asshole!” The memory shook from your mind as Eddie punched Steve in the arm. “Don’t you ever show her my memories again! You had no right!”

“To be fair, I got banished with you. I have every right.”

“Fuck you.”, he growled before abruptly disappearing. 

“Where do you guys go when you vanish like that?”

Steve sighs as he gestures absently. “Around. We can’t go far but…”

“Do you blame him? For getting you kicked out of your home?”

Without any hesitation, he shakes his head and snaps his fingers again. 

“Steven! How can you not know where he is?! He is your best friend!”

“Sire, trust me, I’ve looked for him. I want to talk to him to but he’s nowhere to be found.”

“Please…talk to him about what?! The only thing I want to hear from him is the sound of his screams when he’s tortured for all eternity.”

“Sire, if I may, he wouldn’t hurt her. They were friends.”

The king loses his composure and shoves the demon against the wall of his home. “I don’t give a fuck what they were. He KILLED my child. Now, either you bring him to me or you can join him in a cell. Personally, I don’t care where you end up.”

“I knew he didn’t do it. The three of us were friends. I saw the way they were together. She was always happier in his arms than anywhere else.”

Your heart breaks as you lean against his shoulder. “Did you ever have anyone you felt that way with?”

He grins as he leans back on his hands. “There was this girl I really fell for. Would you believe she ended up with a demon slayer?! Of all people!” His grin grows when you genuinely laugh. “Come on, honey. Let’s get you home.”

“You’re not going to harass me into killing someone tonight?”

“Not tonight. I think you earned a break.”

***

“Miss Y/L/N?”, the man greets you as you’re walking up the path to your house.

“Um, yes? Can I help you?”

“I’m Detective Hopper and I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions if that’s alright.”

“Oh, um, sure…of course.”

“Did you see anything strange last night or out of the ordinary? Maybe someone in the neighborhood you had never seen before.”

“Ah, no sir. I usually work until 6 and then I come home to take care of my father. He’s in bed most of the time so he wouldn’t have seen anything either.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. That he’s ill…not that he didn’t see anything… Look, here’s my card. If you remember something or if you see something suspicious just give me a call.”

“Yes, sir. Should I be worried? Did something happen?”

“Oh, nothing for you to be worried about ma’am. Just always make sure to think smart and stay safe.”

You nod and watch him get into his car before driving away. 

“You wouldn’t want to kill him. He’s actually one of the few good people here.”, Eddie exhales in frustration. “You two have a lot in common though. His daughter got sick and passed away a few years after your mom.” As he raised his fingers to snap them, you quickly closed your hands around his. 

“Please… not really something I want to see. I know what it feels like with a parent. I can’t imagine what he went through with a child and I don’t want to.”

He nods his head, affirming your request as you open your front door. 

“Dad, what did I say? You’re supposed to be in bed.”, you whine as you take off your jacket and head towards him. 

“In my defense, you weren’t supposed to be home for another hour.”, he chuckles. “Who are your friends?”

You freeze as you turn to give him your attention. He’s smiling directly at the demons in front of him but only you should be able to see them, right?

“My friends?”

“I know it’s been awhile since you’ve brought anyone over but yes, Y/N, friend.” Your dad rises to his feet and extends his hand to both of them, beaming proudly when they finally shake it. “What’s your name, boys?”

Holy shit. He can see them…

“I’m Steve and this is my friend Eddie.”

“Pleasure. How do you know my daughter? From work?”

“Something like that.”

“She’s never mentioned you but she doesn’t tell me much about that store to be honest. Well, I hope you’ll stay for dinner.”

“Which I will make in a bit. I just have to talk with them about something really fast here. Come on, guys.” You shove them towards your bedroom and shut the door. “Why can he see you?!”

“I, honestly, have no idea. Maybe family members can see us to.”

“Eddie, how stupid do you think I am? ‘Maybe family members can see…’ You two have been doing this for how long and you’ve never come across this before?!”

“No, we haven’t. I think more than anything though we should focus on the fact that we don’t eat.”

“Not food anyway.”, Eddie smiles coyly in your direction making you giggle.

“You’re so stupid. Ok, ok. I trust you. Um… you can’t eat any type of food?”

“No. We don’t get our energy that way like you humans do.”

“Shit.” You continue to think before clapping your hands. “I got it!”

###############

Your father laughed as he continued telling the demons the story of how he and your mom met. He loved to tell that story to anyone who would listen and to your surprise both of them did in fact listen. They seemed so entranced in his tale like little kids listening to an adult read them a book. 

“I’m telling you, boys. I literally fell for her, flat on my face! She was so beautiful though… I couldn’t take my eyes off her when she went out onto that stage and danced. I remember thinking ‘what the hell would a ballerina want with a greaser like me’? She got so mad when I actually asked her that.”, he chuckled. 

“Could she do the whole spinning on her toes thing?”, Steve asked as you came around to clear their dishes. 

You had decided to make a meal that required bowls instead of plates so their meals wouldn’t be on display and they could hide the fact that they weren’t eating anything. 

“She absolutely could. The first time she showed me, she explained how she was doing it like she was reading a phone book. Just so monotone!”

“Yeah, dancers have amazing strength in their legs and abs. Chrissy used do flips and stuff all around her house and I was just amazed.” Eddie paused then, realizing what he just said as he shifted his gaze down to the table. 

When you sat back down, you placed your hand on his lap comfortingly. You dad sensed the change in tone, knowing it all too well. 

“When my wife died…it was like getting hit by truck. We had so many more plans and things we wanted to do. I hate that we didn’t have more time but I’m so grateful for the time we had and the gift she gave me.”, he smiled as he gestured towards you. “No one can take those memories away from you, son. I’m sure while she was here you made her feel happy and loved.”

Eddie’s hand reached down to cover yours as he held your hand. You knew he was trying to not disappear again especially since your dad could see him. He as being forced to face this conversation and it was killing him. 

Your father began to cough and you quickly ran to his bedroom, coming back with his medication. 

“Stop! Don’t…don’t look at me like…like that. I’m fine.” You wrap your arms around his neck and he leans back into your hug. “Here…I’ve bothered your friends…enough. Go spend some time together…without this old man.”

“It was a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Y/L/N.” Steve politely grins down at him, Eddie doing the same. Before he can walkway though, your dad tugs on his hand. 

 “It’s…it’s ok to care about someone again…Eddie. You’re not replacing her…you’re just…opening your heart again.”

The demon gently pats his shoulder as he leaves him to head for your room. 

***

You sat on your bed, fiddling with their stone as you continued to examine it. 

“What’s it like for you guys in here?”

“We’re not genies, honey. We don’t literally live in the stone. It’s just a conduit, I guess you would call it.”

“We have kind of a whole little area to ourselves.”, Eddie adds.

“Can you show it to me?”

“Uh, unfortunately no, and trust me. You don’t want to see it.”

“Are you prisoners?”

Their eyes shoot up to fully look you over. 

“I guess it depends on your definition of ‘prisoner’.”

A heavy sigh leaves your lips as you meet their gaze. “Are you happy?”

“I don’t really remember what happy feels like.” Steve turns to glance at his friend, taken aback by his honesty. “After she…Chris… died, I felt so lost. I didn’t know what to do so I ran. While we were wondering around the realms, by the time we found the one who gave us this task I was elated. At least we could finally stop moving around and just do this.”

“Steve?”

“When the princess was killed, everything changed. Home didn’t feel like home anymore.”

His fingers hovered in the air again, pausing before Eddie nodded and he snapped them together. 

A front door burst open and Eddie was tossed violently to the ground at Steve’s feet. 

“Found him trying to get in a boat and swim across the shoreline there.” One of the demons boasted as he held the wanted demon down with his boot. “This is it. Imagine how the king will reward us when we bring him the head of the demon who brutally slaughtered his daughter.”

Eddie flinched as he laughed. 

“Wait. Who said anything about killing him here? We’re supposed to take him back alive.”

“I’m pretty sure his majesty won’t mind if we—”

As the demon kicked his friend, Steve shoved his chest knocking him back.

“No! We follow orders.”

“What do you care? Don’t get soft now just because he’s your best friend. I’ve seen you tear apart demons you’ve known longer than him just because you were told to.”

“That’s right. I was ordered to. Just like I’m ordered to bring him in, Jason.”

“The princess was your friend to. You saw what he did to her. Are you really going to let him get away with that? Don’t you want to fuck him up even a little bit?”

Steve looks down at his bleeding friend before growling low in his throat. “I do.”

“There we go! Let’s tie him up with that rope and—”

While the demon was talking, he made the mistake of allowing Steve to get behind him, giving him enough opportunity to ram his bat into his skull. Jason fell to his knees before slumping to the ground. He yanked his weapon back and pointed the end towards Eddie. 

“What. Happened?”

“I-I don’t know. She was dead when I got there, Steven. I swear. I would never do anything to hurt her.”

His jaw clenched as he extended his arm for his friend to take. 

You gasped as your reality came flooding back. 

“Whoa! Are you okay?”

“Yeah, just…gore…not a fan. Even after—”

“Sorry. You get used to a story so much you kind of forget details like that.”, Steve chuckles. “So, yeah, I didn’t really care to go back home if everyone was going to be like that especially since one of my friends was dead and the other was banished.”

“Aw, I love you to, man.”, Eddie smiled as he patted his back before turning to look at you. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just…you’re not like how I would expect demons to be…”

His grin grows as he covers the side of his face with his long hair. “Mean and scary?”

“Something like that.”, you giggle.

He and the other demon share a look and he knows without his friend having to say it; you are just like Chrissy. 

“We can be mean if you’re into that.”, Steve winks. 

“Oh, I don’t know. I’ve never… you don’t have to…”

“Don’t have to what?” His head tilts when you gesture towards your body, mimicking your movements. “I don’t know what this means. You have to say what you’re thinking out loud like a good girl.”

“You don’t have to…sleep with me again.”

“Did we sleep last night?”, Eddie asks playfully. “I don’t remember much sleeping.”

“Oh my God-goodness. I’m just saying you don’t have to! I’m not someone you have to please or whatever.”

“Why did you correct yourself just now?”, he inquires as he wiggles his finger in your direction. “You started to say God and then stopped. Why?”

“Um…I don’t know. I—”

“You’re a terrible liar.”, Steve laughs.

Your gaze shifts between theirs as their eyes heavily penetrate your own. “Eddie didn’t like it. I don’t want to offend you or anything.”

The demon softly smiles at your honest answer. “You listen. You are a good girl.” He turns to face his friend who leans his head against the wall behind him. “Now can we use her our way?”

A heavy exhale leaves your lips at his choice of words as they both focus back on you. 

“What do you think, Y/N? You want to play the demon way?”

“Will-will it hurt?”

Steve shakes his head as Eddie grins. “Not unless you want it to.”

“Is, um, is there a safe word or something…”

“Do you feel like you need one?”

“I think you forget, sweetheart, that we can read you. We know where your boundaries are.” The metalhead looking boy snaps his fingers and you see a quick flash of all your sexual counters. None extremely worthwhile but a couple of times, men had crossed a line. 

“Ow, Dean! Don’t bite me like that. It hurts.”

“Stupid whore. You like being fucked hard like this don’t you, slut?”

“Honestly, Kevin, you’re making me feel dirty not sexy.”

“Ow! Y/N! Jesus Christ, Stop!” The boy ducks as you try to smack him. 

“You’re supposed to go slow, you asshole! Not just ram it in. I told you I’ve never done anal before!”

“Hm, thanks for that.”, you whine as you wave your hand in front of your face like it wipes the memories.

“We wouldn’t hurt you like that but, again, if it makes you more comfortable…”

“I…I trust you.”

They both smirk in your direction and a shiver runs down your spine to your core at the sight. 

“So, I’ll ask again, do you want to play our way?”

“Yes.”

“Yes what?”

“Yes, Steve, I do…want to play the demon way.”

Both their heads straightened up as the smiles that had painted their beautiful faces began to fall as they starred at you. It felt like they were looking into your very soul and you couldn’t help but feel a little frightened. 

“Alright, little girl. Let’s play.”, Steve growled wickedly as his fingers snapped and your world went dark. 

#############

Your eyes snapped open as the breeze from outside hit your face. Rising to your feet, you realize you’re in a forest you’ve never been to.

“Have you ever done roleplay, Y/N?” You jump as Steve’s voice filled your head, quickly turning around to look for them and finding no one. “It’s ok, honey. You can scream and shout here. It’s part of the reason we chose this place.”

“We also kind of like the camp of it all. Demons fucking an innocent girl out in the middle of nowhere.”, Eddie giggles. 

“Where are you?”

“Around.” This time they both chuckle as the wind around you picks up. 

“I’m not innocent.”

“In life maybe not but sexually, sweetheart… You may as well be a virgin.”

“You of all people know I’m not a virgin.” When you turn around, you are suddenly met with Steve’s palm around your throat. 

“We aren’t people, Y/N. Never forget that. Never forget that we are demons. We are above small beings like you. Do you understand me?”

“Yes.”

“Yes. WHAT. You better show us some respect, little girl.”

“Yes…sir…” You gasped for air as he threw you to the ground. He looked down at you with amusement when you sat up and clung to his leg like a scared child. Abruptly, you fall forward and just like that he’s gone. 

“Aw, baby. Are you afraid?”

“No!”, you try to sound confident as you rise to your feet. 

“You’re right. She’s a terrible liar.”

“What frightens you more, Y/N? The fact that you have no control or the fact that you like it?”

A ringed hand brushes lightly through your hair as lips gently kiss along your neck. When you turn your head to kiss them, you find yourself alone.

“Answer. Me.”

“I don’t know how to let go of that control.”

“We can show you how. We can show you a lot of things, princess, if you’ll let us.”

“Is that the ‘demon way’? I thought creatures like you just take what you want.”

“Creatures. I like that. Good choice of words, little one. It’s never quiet that simple. We can’t just take…it has to be offered.”

“Then…then take me.” The wind around you stops as the woods become silent. “You both deserve to feel good to after what you showed me. I gave you permission to do it your way. I trust you.”

��As you wish. Hey, honey?”

“Run.”

***

You didn’t need to be told twice as you ran in no particular direction. Hell, you didn’t even know where you were, you just needed to go. You imagined wherever you were headed, they were leading you there. You understood that you had just asked two lions to be their prey and the thought drove you wild. 

Panting against a tree, you stopped to catch your breath. As you looked at your surroundings, a small rundown house that looked like it had long been abandoned suddenly came into a view. Carefully, you moved towards it, finding the front door open. 

“Hello?”

No one responded except for the creaks in the wood as the wind quietly blew. Powerwalking towards the fridge you were grateful to find cold water within it…almost like it was left for you. You chugged down as much as you could until you felt your thirst was quenched, placing it back where you found it before beginning to look around. 

There was really nothing of note that stood out. All the picture frames you passed were empty and besides the typical furniture there was no other decoration. As you glanced down the hallway, you noticed a faint light coming from one of the rooms and went to investigate. 

There were candles strategically placed everywhere illuminating the bed in front of you. A sudden chill caused you to rub your arms, making you gasp when you realized your clothes you had on abruptly changed. When you looked down, you were no longer wearing jeans and a t-shirt but a red silk nightie with nothing underneath, no bra, panties, or even stockings for your feet. You felt extremely vulnerable but as you started to back out of the room, your back hit something hard. 

“Took you long enough.” Eddie’s low, rough tone sent a shudder through your body. “Get lost?”, he asked as he grabbed your hair and pushed you to the floor. “I imagine your legs are probably tired from all that running. Don’t worry, we’re going to let your rest on your knees for a while.” 

A naked Steve sauntered into view from the side, his large half hard cock now level with your face. 

“Open up, little girl.” Your mouth had barely begun to widen before he shoved himself between your lips. His fingers gripped both sides of you head as he thrust his hips, pushing his length to the back of your throat making you gag. “Fuck, that’s it. Take it, honey. Take my dick like a good girl. Don’t forget about Eddie.”

Steve released you just long enough for the other now naked demon to thread his digits back into your hair as you wrapped your lips around his thick cock. He groaned at the feeling as you flattened your tongue and bobbed your head. “Good, baby. Keep stroking him. Last night was—mmm—was about you. Tonight is for us.”

As you alternated between them with your mouth and your hand, you felt your slick begin to drip down your thighs, your pussy desperately needing to be touched. 

“Hey!”, Eddie growled as he yanked your hair back, forcing you to meet his angry eyes. “Did we tell you to move? Huh?! ANSWER ME!”

“No…no, sir. I’m sorry!”

“If no one told you to fucking move then why are grinding your hips like that?!”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” Just like with his friend as soon as the demon let you go, you wrapped your body around his leg, holding him tightly. “I’m sorry.”

His large palm began to pet the top of your head making you feel like you were on the moon. He was accepting your apology; you were being forgiven. You were being good for them and right now that’s all you wanted, you wanted to please them. 

Eddie’s arms slide under yours as he lifted you off the floor and carried you to the bed, throwing you on to it horizontally as if you weighed nothing. Tugging you to the edge, he took the base of his cock in his hand and slid it between your glistening folds. 

“Fuck me. Are you really that desperate for us right now? Geez, Steven, these fucking humans are always so easy to please. Do you want my dick, Y/N?”

When you only nodded, his lust fueled eyes flicked above you before a hand flew across your cheek.

“Words, little girl. You answer him when he asks your something.” Steve’s massive fingers held your head in place, forcing you to stare at his friend. 

“Pl-please. I want—mmm—I want your dick.”

“Yeah? Keep begging, Y/N, because I’m not sure that I believe you.”

“Please! Please, Edward. I want your thick cock inside of me. Make me cum, please.” 

The demon’s head tilted at his correct name. Only other demons ever called him that but for many years now even he and Steve referred to him as Eddie. The last time someone else called him Edward was the last time he spoke to Chrissy. 

“Something bad is about to happen! I know it!”

“Chris, baby, hey.”, he wrapped his arms around her to stop her from pacing. “Nothing bad is going to happen. I won’t let it.”

“My father is having the ceremony tomorrow. After that, I’m never going to see you.”, she cried into his chest as he held her tighter. “Henry won’t allow us to—”

“Sweetheart, fuck that pretty boy alright? I mean not literally but…” Eddie smiles when he feels her giggle. “Why don’t we leave? Huh? Run away with me.”

“Run where?”

“Anywhere! We can go further out or hell we can hop to other realms. Steven knows all about that.”

She pulls back, gazing up at him with nothing but adoration. “Ok.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. Let’s do it. Meet me here at midnight and we’ll go.”

He grins as he kisses her forehead and runs towards the hidden passage in her room. “I’ll see you tonight. I love you, you freak.”

Chrissy laughs harder as she shoos him with her hand. “I love you to, Edward. Now, go!”

“Hey…” His curls move as his head shakes at the feeling of your thumb caressing his skin. “Are you okay?”

Eddie blinks before grabbing your wrist and shoving it to the mattress. “Why did you call me that? Edward? Why?”

The demon’s abrupt insistence startled you as his face hovered over yours. “I-I-I was being respectful. S-S-Saying your name properly. I’m sorry, Eddie.”

A loud growl mixed with a grunt reverberated through his chest as he guided his cock a bit roughly into your entrance. He didn’t inch his way in this time, fully thrusting into you as your back and neck arched up at the intensity. The demon’s lips whisper into your ear as he began to slowly slam his waist into yours. 

“You…you can call me that here, baby. I—f-fuck—I don’t mind. With pussy this good, you’re the only one who can.”

Your eyes rolled back at his words as you clenched around him. Standing again to his full height, Eddie held your legs open wide as he thrust into you. Knees straddled either side of your head as Steve’s cock came into view.

“Open your mouth, honey, and don’t move your head, okay?”

“Yes, sir.”

He grinned down at you before sliding his length between your lips. Your hands flew up to cling to his thighs as he began slowly fucking your face. 

“Good—mmm—good girl, Y/N.”, Steve moaned as his palms reached out to play with your tits.

You couldn’t see much from the position they had you in but out of the corner of your watery eyes you could swear you saw Eddie pull Steve’s face to his shoulder as they both grunted at the feel of you. Did you see him place soft kisses along the tattoos splattered along the demon’s chest or was your mind playing tricks on you?

You barely had time to gather any more thoughts as Steve placed his fingers onto your clit, rubbing circles to match his friend’s pace. 

Your eyes squeezed shut as you moaned around the demon in your mouth causing a deep growl to escape from his chest that startled you. His head quickly snapped down towards you sensing your fear and he promptly pulled his cock from your lips, pushing his body back so he could kiss you.

“It’s ok. You’re doing so good. That was a good sound, honey. Your mouth just feels so fucking amazing. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that.”, he whispered, gently trying to comfort you.

Eddie collapsed onto your body, rolling his hips roughly, tugging down the top half of your garment as he lightly licked and sucked on your nipple with his teeth. Steve leaned down to do the same with your other breast and you whimpered as you tried to keep pumping him with your fist. 

“I’m…fuck…”

Eddie’s long tongue licked up your sweaty chest to your ear as his head fell beside yours. 

“When you cum, princess, scream my name. Say it—mmm—say it the way you said it before.”

As his hips pounded into yours, you felt your body transport back to that floaty place before you were blinded by that white light and pulled back to earth by what could best be described as a lion’s snarl in your ear as you came.

“Fuck! Yes, Edward! Oh my…fuck, fuck, fuck!”

His rhythm sputtered as his fingers tangled in your hair and he released ropes of his seed inside of you as he grunted loudly. As he continued to lazily thrust into you, you tried to lift his head for a kiss but he hastily grabbed your wrist and held it against the bed.

“No…no, not yet. Give…give me a minute.”

“Are you okay?”, you asked and he nodded in response.

“I don’t …want to scare you. I just…need to calm down.”

“Please, Edward. Let me see you.”

He hesitated for a moment before letting you go and hovering his face above yours. Your fingers reached up to touch the splashes of demon skin that was displaying through his human one along his jawline. Eddie had to control every muscle in his body to keep from flinching. It had been a long while since anyone other than Steve had touched his original skin in anyway let alone as tenderly as you were. 

When he had lifted his head, his eyes had remained closed knowing they were his real ones and not the ones he displayed for you. 

“Can you open your eyes?”

Almost as if knowing what happen, Steve placed both palms on either side of your head again, holding you in place as the other demon sighed and did as you asked. 

You squeaked in terror but they were both holding you down so you couldn’t move away. His red, glowing orbs tried to look anywhere else before the shimmering suddenly stopped and you were able to look directly into his irises.

“Why…why do they glow?”

“Uh, they do that when we’re angry.”

“Are you angry with me?”

His look softened at your question and you watched as the red changed to the brown, chocolate color eyes you had come to know over the past couple of days. 

“No, sweetheart. Angry at myself for not being able to hold my appearance up for you.” His nose delicately bumped yours. “Hearing you say my name and then feeling your pussy cling to me like it does… I just couldn’t control myself there.”

Craning your neck, you leaned up to kiss his lips and he allowed it as he smiled against them. “I think it’s Steve’s turn. He’s been waiting very patiently to use you.” His eyebrows coyly raised as your cunt fluttered around him. 

Arms slid under you, pulling you away from Eddie, and place you on your tummy as your face hits a pillow above you. Forcefully, the demon lifts your ass in the air, groaning as he breaches your entrance with his hard, leaking cock. Laying his body flat against yours pushes him deeper into your pussy, allowing access to sensitive areas within you that no one besides them could ever hit.

“Do—mmm—can I call you by your name?”, you whimpered as he slowly rolled his hips, bringing his dick almost all the way out before slamming it back in.

“Is that what you want, honey? Do—fuck me—do you think you deserve to?” Steve’s palm wrapped around your throat as he grunted into your ear. “Do you think you’ve earned the right, little one? Hm? Answer me.”

“Yes, yes I do, Steven.”

This must have been what hit Eddie so hard; he felt it as soon as you said his name. Hearing someone use his proper name after so long poked at the beast inside of him. It awakened a side he hadn’t utilized since his time in his own realm and it felt good. He wondered if what his friend had said about that mixed with you climax would really cause him to lose control like that. He had to find out.

Pushing up to his knees, he grabbed your wrists placing them behind your back as he pounded into you. 

“When you cum, you scream my name like you did his. Do you hear me?”

“Y-yes. Fuck…please make me cum.”

For a few moments, only both your heavy pants and skin hitting skin were heard in the room but all the sudden, Eddie’s soothing, husky voice cut through. At first you didn’t understand why he was so far away until you realized…he wasn’t speaking to you but to Steve. 

“You think she feels good now, wait until she says your name again. I’ve never felt anything like it. I don’t know what it is, Steve, but fucking hell.” Turning your head as much as you could, you noticed how his fingers ran over the demon’s hairy chest as he leaned his chin on his shoulder. “The thought is just making me hard all over again. If I could keep my dick inside her 24/7, I would.”

“St-Steven, I’m about to—”

Yanking on your hair, he pulls your back flush against him. “You say my name with confidence, little girl.” His other arm wrap around your front, holding you tightly to him as he thrust into you faster. 

“Yes, Steven. Just like that, please. Don’t stop!”

Gravity left you and again you heard an animal’s rough growl before your face was pushed into the pillow as you came. The demon behind you pumped into you a few more times as red light flashed against the headboard in front of you and his spend warmed your insides.

He grunted, trying to catch his breath as both of them fell on either side of you. As soon as their heads hit the soft material, you blinked and found yourself back in your room at home. You tried to roll over so you could see him but Steve covered your eyes once you got to your back. 

“No, no, honey. I think…what you’ve already seen is enough to give you trauma for the rest of your life. Let’s not add to it.”

“Can I touch you? At least since you don’t want me to see you.”

“You promise you’ll keep your eyes closed?”

“Yes, sir. I promise.”

Gradually, his hand left your eyes but you did as he asked, keeping them squeezed tight. Taking a hold of your wrist, he guided you to his face. Like Eddie, his skin was a rough material that was exposing itself mostly on his cheeks but unlike his friend, as you shifted to his hair your fingers ran into the horns protruding from his head. Steve seemed to have a lot more trouble keeping up appearances than the other demon.

After you were done touching him, he assumed you’d recoil away but you didn’t. Instead, your roaming digits traced down to the back of his neck and pulled him into a kiss that had him softly humming. As soon as you disconnected, you two opened your eyes and you were greeted with the amber ones he always displayed for you.

You curled up into your bed, reaching behind you to bring Eddie’s arm over your waist. It startled him at first but he finally settled into it as he nuzzled his face in your hair.

“Do those woods and house have any significance for you guys? Or was it just a random place?”

“The woods are from our realm. Eddie and I used to hang out there when we were growing up.”

“The house is just a house. We didn’t think you’d be comfortable on the dirty forest floor so that particular home is a combination of places we’ve been to.”

“Oh? Is considering my feelings the demon way?”, you grin as your eyes begin to drift.

“It’s our way. Remember, Y/N, we’re still here to serve you. We protect and guide you while you complete your task. Plus…”, Steve exhales as his fingers caress your cheek, eyes scanning you as you sleep. “Demons usually don’t hurt the ones they care about.”

“Ah,” Eddie chuckles softly. “So, you do feel it to? How different this go around feels.”

“She’s not like the others.”

“I know but, Steven, after she kills that last person, we’re gone. We’ll never see her again.”

“I know, Edward.”, he growls. “Let’s worry about that later. I’m sure when this is all over she’s going to end up hating us anyway.”

###########

@unfocused81 @tlclick73 @iaminlovewithdilfs @tiannamortis

@steeldaisies @goodhappyfriday @paleidiot

@fireeys-on-teller-dixon-grimes @strangerthings64

@howlingco @hellfire--cult

[wandafiction]

Family - Just Us Chapter 44

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2686

Series List | Chapter 43 | Chapter 45

================================

"I love you nugget. I will see you later, yeah?" Morgan nods frantically with a wide smile on her face.

"Yes please sissy! We still need to do film night!" She hugs me tightly and I give her a small squeeze before planting a kiss on her forehead. 

"We do indeed. Right, go with Papa T and I will see you soon."

"I love you 3000 Y/n." I feel the tears sting my eyes at her words.

"I love you to nugget." She climbs off the bed, grabbing Tony and Pepper's hand walking in the middle of the two of them as she drags them out of the hospital room. I then turn to look at Carol.

"Are you going to be okay?" I hate making her worry, but that will never stop because she is my sister.

"Go be with your wife and child, before they think you've ditched them for me." Carol huffs out a laugh. "Oh and say hi to that stupid cat of yours."

"It's not stupid Y/n, it just doesn't like you." I hold a hand to my heart.

"Oof. What's not to like about me?" Carol raises a playful eyebrow towards me, so I grab the pillow from behind me and Wanda and chuck it at her, making the other two women who haven't left my side laugh out. 

"Rude."

"You love me."

"I guess." Before I can grab something to throw at her she rushes out of the door and looks through the pane of glass where she receives a middle finger from me, and she gives one right back in return. When she disappears my phone goes off.

Carol: Love you bitch.

Me: Yeah, Yeah. I love you too.

I lock my phone and place it on the bedside table, the room is engulfed in the most silence it has been in a few hours. After the questioning by Christina, we continued to talk about the legal proceedings and how my case is the cherry on the top in getting rid of ultron. I should probably explain a few things so you are all caught up too.

So I bet you are wondering what does Carl have to do with this? Well Carl is the son of Baron Zemo, yes that Zemo. Zemo and his wife could have been the next leaders of Sokovia and they would have been the best there was, they would have been able to create something good out of their ruling. Anyway, Ultron managed to scare them off by doubling his troops and creating fake propaganda. He was also able to get a hit on his son, Carl, the same boy I saved. He hired someone to kill the kid. Fortunately, I was there when this went down and was able to use my basic skills that Dr Cho had taught me to keep him alive until we could get him safely to hospital. 

When Zemo and his wife came to see him, they were still in hiding and I promised them I would make sure he was okay. I never break a promise. So that's why he stays with the woman at the coven café, hiding him in plain sight. I paid off all his medical bills so nothing could be traced to Zemo. Shield have been after Ultron since he came to power but they never had enough evidence behind them to put him away, he did a good job at hiding the fact he put a hit on a child. Even though everyone knows it was him. It seems that he did something wrong when covering his tracks up with the murder of my wife and child so now Shield has the authority from the UN to put him behind bars for good. This also means that Zemo will finally be able to make something good out of Sokovia. Let's just hope he can lead a country better than he can dance.

So yeah I kind of have a crazy back story, doesn't everyone in these types of stories? Doesn't it give me some humanity and something you guys can hold onto and I don't know, come up with theories?

"Baby?" Wanda's voice pulls me out of my world and I hum in acknowledgement to her voice. "Where did you go? I've been trying to gain your attention the past few minutes."

"Sorry I was away with the fairies, just thinking over everything that's happened today." Damn you fairies. 

"Well I was just going to ask if you were up for two more visitors?" 

"Sure princess." Wanda nods at Nat who comes and gives me a hug whispering in my ear.

"You have my number if you need anything." 

"Thank you." Natasha leaves the room, I'm assuming to go get our other guests. Wanda moves around on the bed, shuffling her body down the bed so her legs intertwine with mine and her head comes to rest in my lap as I am still sitting up against the head of the bed. She wraps one arm around my waist, while the other bends and she moves her head to use it as a pillow on my lap, her hands drawing small circles with her index fingers. 

"I'm sorry you went through all that Y/n. I know sorry doesn't offer much, but I truly am sorry that you have been through much hurt at such a young age." I can hear the sadness in her voice and when I look down at her I see the small pout on her lips.

"We all go through stuff Wanda, some people experience it over their lifetime and some people experience it close together. But we all experience hurt and heartbreak. It's just the way of life. I've come to understand that those sorts of things are out of control, even when I think they aren't. I know I can't control what is not in my hands." 

"Your therapy session seems to be helping already." 

"Why do you think that?"

"Because you said it was out of your control when earlier you couldn't help but pin the blame to yourself." Wanda's head turns in my lap to look up at me and I give her a smile and she beams up at me.

"That's because I know it's true. I don't blame myself anymore, not in my heart but when I have flashbacks that bad my brain takes time to reboot as I like to call it to remember the work I have put in to make it catch up with my heart." 

"That makes sense. Can I have a kiss?" She puckers her lips as I laugh at her goofiness as I lean down our lips touching in a gentle kiss. When I sit back up she rubs her lips together savouring the moment.

"You never have to ask for a kiss Wanda?" 

"Yeah but it's fun to hear you laugh about it. I love your laugh." Her nose scrunches as I laugh out some more and I can feel her whole body snuggle closer to me. 

There is a small knock on the door and when I look up through the pane of glass I can't see anyone which makes me scrunch my eyebrows. Wanda seems to know who is out there though as she giggles and tells them to come in. I light up with a huge smile on my face as the twins enter the room, closing the door gently being them. When I see the both of them make their way to the chairs in the room, I pat the bed instead telling them to join me and Wanda. I bring my legs up to sit criss-cross applesauce, but Wanda remains in her position obviously comfortable and content with where she is. 

"How are you feeling Y/n?" Billy asks as he sits down towards the end of the bed looking between me and Wanda with soft eyes.

"Better thank you Billy. You guys didn't have to come but I'm grateful you did." Tommy climbs up next to me, sitting against the head of the bed with me and I wrap a protective arm around his shoulders as his head rests against my shoulder.

"Of course we did. When we heard you were in hospital we wanted to come straight away, but thought it best that you see your family first. When Sharon let us know that you were awake we finished our game and came straight here." I pull Tommy closer and pat the space in front of me to signal Billy to come closer. He sits criss-cross applesauce right in front of me, our knees almost touching, Wanda's arm that was around my waist moves to drape over Billy's legs. I lean forward grabbing onto one of Billy's hands, and Wanda instantly places her hand on top as they all rest on Billy's knee. 

"You boys are so thoughtful, kind and caring. In the few days that I've known you I can see that, and I feel that. You have an amazing mom and you are two amazing children. There is just so much love that you three share and I'm in awe everytime I see it. I just need you to know that I care about you guys too, and I will do anything for you guys. Okay?" 

Wanda plants a kiss on my leg squeezing the small group of hands together and Tommy snuggles closer to me. It makes me smile wide and I can feel Wanda smiling too and I'm sure her nose is scrunched.

"Y/n?" There is a shyness to Tommy's voice, so I gently turn to look at him and he seems to shy away at the three pairs of eyes on him when he looks at Wanda and Billy.

"What's up Tommy." I keep my voice calm and collected, whatever he wants to ask he is nervous. 

"I know that we have only known you for like 4 days since we met on Friday, but after this weekend I have to ask something."

"You can ask me anything you want Tommy."

"Are we like a family now?" I smile at his question and internally scream with joy.

"If that's what you and Billy want."

"It's what I want." Tommy looks up to his brother for approval and Billy looks between me and him with a huge toothy smile on his face.

"So is this, like how we make this family official? Just say yes, because if so then yeah I love that it's the four of us." Billy says excitedly.

"The four of us against the world!" Tommy waves his arms about in the air to emphasize his point. "Is that okay mama?" 

"I love you two boys and I love Y/n, so I absolutely love the idea of having us as one big family." I lean down to kiss the side of Wanda's head and the boys cover their eyes jokingly.

"My poor eyes. I'm blinded!" Billy falls back, allowing his back to hit the bed as he pretends to be hurt. All it does is give me the perfect opportunity.

I quickly lean forward bringing my hands to his tummy and start to tickle him. His body wiggles underneath me as he arms flail about trying to get me off, but his giggles echo around the room. His brother teams up with me as he starts tickling Billy's side, Wanda sits up laughing at the site. Her smile grows bigger as she moves to hover her face over his and brings it down to leave a kiss on his forehead. 

"Mwuah." Kiss on the cheek. "Mwuah." Kiss on the nose. "Mwauh." Another Kiss on his forehead. 

We keep up the torment until he is telling us to stop, so we all pull back but his body is still squirming and his laughs don't die out for a while. Once he calms down and catches his breath he sits up and looks between the three of us with a small pout on his face.

"That was mean, my lungs hurt." He crosses his arms trying to act angry but I can see the smile on his face growing.

"Aww you love us really." Wanda coos at him like a little baby earning an eye roll from Billy.

"Yes I do." Billy replies without hesitation. "I love you all."

"We love you too Bill." His brother pokes his tongue at him.

"Yeah no I lied, I love 2 out of 3 of you. Sorry Tommy, but calling me Bill gets you left out of the club." My heart skips a beat at his words but I hide my elation at his words but Wanda can't hide hers. 

"So that means you love Y/n?" Billy simply rolls his eyes at his mother's question.

"Of course I do. She loves you, she makes you happy and we get on with her and we want to hang out with her more so yeah. I love all my family." He points at Tommy. "I will let it slide this time because Mama's going all sappy."

"Awww is Mama sappy at the fact we all love each other dearly." Tommy mocks her, earning a light smack to his leg by Wanda.

"It's okay Wanda I love you the most, but the boys are a close second." I see Wanda's hand move but hesitate from hitting my leg as she turns to look up at me with unsure eyes. "You're allowed, it's just when it comes close to my face or leaves my peripheral vision."

"So hitting your legs is okay?" I know Wanda is concerned but I can't help but wiggle my eyebrows at her and the boys scrunch their faces in disgust.

"Sorry! Yes you are allowed to playfully smack my leg when I'm being sarcastic." 

"Okay good." Her hand makes contact with my leg and all four of us laugh together at Wanda's child-like behaviour.

"So now that we are a family. Can we do family Halloween costumes this year and maybe a family holiday or something?" Billy asks, as Wanda settles her head back into my lap.

"I like that idea. What do you two think?" I turn to look at Billy and Wanda who are both smiling.

"Please mama! We can go on a small holiday and then come back for Halloween night!" Tommy leans forward slightly so Wanda can see his puppy dog eyes.

"Where would you guys like to go?" The boys celebrate as Wanda all but agrees to the idea.

"I didn't get that far ahead." Billy shrugs his shoulders.

"So, this is just an idea and your mom has to ok the idea. If she says no, then we can figure something else out." Wanda looks up at me from my lap, raising her eyebrows in question. "I do have that cabin Wanda."

"Oh right. Are you sure it would be okay to go there?" 

"Of course. We bought the place a few years ago, but I haven't really used it in a while. We can fly out and rent a car. Maybe go for the week and come back for the weekend of Halloween." Wanda hums in thought then looks to her boys.

"What do you two think about spending a week in the Canadian wilderness in Y/n's cabin?" Both boys bounce excitedly on the bed.

"Yes please!"

"Yes, that sounds really cool!"

"Well I guess we have a plan for the school half term."

"Just make sure you okay it with their dad, I don't want to take them to another country without him knowing." 

"I will baby." 

"Okay so what do you want to do for the rest of the night boys, as I am being discharged in the next hour." 

"Can we just have a family night on the couch again like yesterday." Tommy asks.

"Yeah what Tommy said, I just want a lazy night with you guys." 

"Sounds good to me. What about you princess?"

"Family night on the couch sounds good to me."

================================

[integra1127grimmreaper]

The Replacement - Part twenty-six

Negan Masterlist

Series Masterlis

Part 25

Warning: mention of murder

You were stumbling blindly about in the dark woods trying to find the others after having gotten separated while fleeing the chaos that was once Alexandria.

The night had seemed so peaceful earlier, when suddenly it wasn’t. Alexandria had come under attack; why and by whom wasn’t known, but you were quite sure that it was the same group that had attacked Maggie’s settlement and that had possibly tracked her down to here.

“Is anyone out there?!” you called out into the silent night.

“Carol?! Rosita?! Jerry?!... Anyone?!”

A rustling noise is heard from behind you, causing you to spin around in the direction.

“Hello…? Is anyone from Alexandria out there?”

No reply comes out, the woods were deathly quiet; there was absolutely no one to be heard or seen, not even a Walker.

In a fit of panic, you could feel your heartrate begin to dangerously increase then as you turn back to the direction you had been heading into.

You couldn’t be alone here in the woods, could you?

You couldn’t have been the only one to have made it out?

The others had to be somewhere out there.

You managed a few more steps before you were struck by the vice grip in your chest; causing you to drop to one knee on the ground as you clutched at your chest.

“Not now…” you utter out breathlessly while tightly gripping the dagger in your other hand.

Taking a deep breath, you force yourself back up onto your feet. Pausing for a moment then, shaking your head in an attempt to get your equilibrium back as you felt your vertigo kicking in.

You continue to stumble along on uneasy legs as you fought against the urge to blackout.

Fuck, I have to find someone.

Coming up to a clearing, you pause when seeing a figure lying face down on the ground.

Carefully scanning the surroundings to check if it wasn’t a trap; you slowly edged your way toward the body to investigate.

You frowned as you got closer when noticing something extremely familiar about the person.

It couldn’t be…? he’s supposed to be on his way to Meridian, not here.

“Negan?!” you rush forward, dropping down next to the body.

With trembling hands, you turn it over to find that your suspicions were correct.

“Negan!!!” you cry out at seeing the vacant dead stare in his eyes.

“Who did this to you…?” you sob, clutching him in your arms.

“Negan, please get up…!” you tearfully beg as you rocked him in your arms, but it was of no use; he was already gone.

“You knew that this was bound to happen…”

Recognizing the voice, you turn to find a smug looking Maggie standing behind you.

“What did you do?!” you screech out, tears flowing down your cheeks as you glared at her.

“I repaid him for what he did to my husband” Maggie grins at you.

“I was going to make him suffer the way I did, but then I found out you’re pregnant. So, instead I made him suffer the way my husband did. He’ll never get to see his child be born, just like Glenn didn’t get to.”

“You shellfish bitch!!!” you growl out in fury.

“Not only did you kill my husband, but you led those people here to destroy Alexandria too!”

“Your husband’s done far worse than I… he had it coming” Maggie remarks, staring smugly down at you one last time before walking away.

As much as you wanted to go after the bitch and kill her, you couldn’t tear yourself away from the lifeless body of your husband.

“Negan…” you murmur, sobbing as you gently stroked his cheek.

Slowly reaching up, you close his eyes, and the dam completely bursts then as you howl out your pain.

“NEGAN!!!”

With a silent scream, you catapulted up in bed, exhaling heavily as you scanned the dark room in confusion.

“It was just a dream, thank God…”

Although you were extremely relieved that it was just a nightmare, you still found it difficult to get your heartrate back to normal.

Deciding you needed some water to calm your nerves and having noticed that daylight had broken, you get out of bed and head downstairs.

You were drinking your glass of water; silently staring into the distance while pondering over the nightmare you had, when you heard a commotion coming from outside.

Placing the glass down, you rush for the front door. Opening it, you saw everyone rushing toward an opening in the wall where Walkers were now flooding in through a panel that had fallen.

After a lot of struggling, they finally manage to get the panel back up and secured.

“How did that happen?” you ask Aaron as he walked up toward you, completely out of breath.

“Not entirely sure, but my guess is; that the wind must have blown it over during the night.”

“That piece did look like it was about to give in at any moment” you mutter out, nodding while deep in thought.

“Are you ok?” Aaron asks noticing the weird look on your face.

“Yeah…” you shake yourself out of the daze you were in, faintly smiling.

“Just woke up from a bad dream and then right into this chaos.”

“Ok…” Aaron remarks, still a bit concerned at the traumatic look on your face.

“We’re going to Hilltop to scavenge for tools. Do you mind keeping an eye on Gracie for me?”

“Sure thing” you agree.

“I’m about to wake Judith them up for breakfast, so send her right over.”

“Thanks, Y/N” Aaron sighs out in relief.

“No problem” you nod.

Aaron leaves to go and get Gracie then, and you head back inside to go and wake up the kids.

After the little run-in they had in the woods, Negan and Maggie finally make it to the neighbourhood that housed the supply depot.

After having checked the house and its surroundings, Negan approaches Maggie while she’s busy removing the supplies from the hiding spot.

“Doesn’t look like anyone’s been here, so…?”

“So… we wait” Maggie responds.

“How long?”

“How long would you want someone to wait for you?” Maggie remarks.

"That's right... you don't have anyone that would wait for you. Well, I guess maybe Y/N would."

“I just think the longer we stay here; the more likely it is that these lunatics catch us” Negan comments.

Maggie doesn’t respond, ignoring him instead as she busies herself going through the supplies.

“How bout we take this food back?” Negan suggests.

“I know it's not a lot, but at least it’s something…”

“It’s nothing…” Maggie argues.

“We need to feed a whole community…”

“Maggie, you need to know when to cut your losses” Negan tries to reason with her.

Maggie silently gets up to stare him directly in the eyes.

“Those losses… are my people.”

“I know…” Negan replies.

“I do… but you still have people, you still have Hershel…”

Maggie shakes her head at him in disbelief.

“Do you think I don’t know that… it’s the reason we’re doing this. Or have you forgotten the reason why you’re also doing this?”

“We can’t… you see, that’s my point.” Negan tries to reason with her.

“Alright, look… I know, I don’t get a vote here and that’s fine. But here’s mine anyway… we give it till sundown, and if the others don’t show by then; they’re not coming…”

Maggie doesn’t respond to Negan’s suggestion, deciding to look away instead of answering him.

Negan and Maggie sat in different rooms as they waited for the others to arrive. After a while, deciding enough was enough, Negan gets up and begins packing the supplies into a bag.

“What are you doing?!” Maggie makes her way toward him.

“I’m leaving…”

“Not with those supplies, you’re not” Maggie comments.

“I’m taking ‘em back to Alexandria.”

“This mission isn’t finished” Maggie argues with him.

“It is for me” Negan responds.

Maggie grabs the bag from out of Negan’s hands; throwing it to the ground, and violently shoving him backwards then.

Negan grabs hold of her arms, giving her a light shake.

“Stop it!”

Maggie shoves Negan away from her as they silently glared at each other. She gives him another hard shove then, but before he could respond, the sound of the front door opening was heard.

Negan and Maggie grab for their weapons, and in enters Gabriel and Elijah.

“Oh my God… you made it” Maggie lets out a sigh of relief.

After having distinguished who was dead and who might still be alive; all to Negan’s disappointment, Maggie and the others make the decision to wait until Daryl and Frost arrive.

Part 27

tag list: @rockey258 @ultrasweetnephilim @twd-fanfics @starry-night-20 @dellsdeath  @vaaalexandra @thatgirljayy @aleemendoza2425-blog @conrzd​ @tonysterco​     @igotmajordaddyissues

[cerinsbloggingdead]

Season 1 and 2 Overview

So I didn’t make this blog until I got to the last episode of season 2, so I’m just going to compile what I want to talk about for those two seasons into one post.

Lori

So I remember back when the walking dead first came out and I was a kid watching it, I hated Lori with my entire being. I didn’t understand why she would cheat on her husband, thought her attitude was horrible, etc. watching now as an adult I understand so much more. Shane had told her Rick was dead, and why would she have any reason to believe other than that? I believe that she wanted to keep Carl safe and Shane was that protector for them in those times. She was most likely grieving or trying to distract herself from doing so. And I feel like it’s almost in a way like a rebound. She needed to move on and keep living for her son and so she found something in Shane that she needed to keep living. I can’t say that I blame her or dislike her for this at all.

Where I start to get confused is the back and forth that she has with Shane. One minute she’s telling him to leave her and her son alone, the next minute she’s mad when he doesn’t give Carl much more than a “listen to your mom.” I also can’t fathom how she can ask Shane to stay with the group after he assaults her.

Then there’s the situation after Rick tells her that he has killed Shane. When Rick is recounting the events she seems confused and sad/upset. Her big angry reaction though comes after Rick reveals that Carl “put Shane down.” I can see this as something where she’s mad at Rick for having their son be the one to kill the zombified version of Shane since she already thinks that Carl is becoming cold to the world. I do wonder though if part of it comes from anger that she no longer has Shane looking out for them or pining after her anymore - even as disturbing as he did it.

I wish Lori had a different way of being written because to me she is very unlikeable. I felt very much like she was wanting to be faithful to Rick but that part of her still wanted that attention from Shane.

Maggie and Glenn

So, hear me out. I know that they’re a solid couple from what I remember watching seasons in the past. I also am so aware that it’s literally the zombie apocalypse and that time is not a luxury that everyone is afforded now. But them confessing their love for each other felt so so rushed. And then when Glenn confesses his love he says he’s loved Maggie for a long time…. You’ve know each other maybe a week or two? It’s a small detail and it’s not that serious but good Lordy. I’m excited for their relationship to blossom though don’t get me wrong.

Sophia

Now before I get blasted I am so well aware that Sophia was a child. Children don’t have a fully formed mind and make stupid decisions that don’t make sense. With that out of the way, WHY??????? Why did Sophia get done and do that. First, the herd had not even fully passed. She had been quiet and still the whole time the large chunk was moving past. And then as soon as she doesn’t see feet move directly in front of her face for like 5 seconds she just gets out from under the car??? Like the walkers still turn around you know. They haven’t gone that far. But anyway, this was dumb. Then she runs into the woods. Okay fair decision honestly. But THEN Rick like helps her right? And he tells her to wait in the little like dug out thing and don’t move until he comes back. And then he also says if he doesn’t come back after a while to head the same way she came from. Rick literally leads the walkers off camera AND THEN THREE SECONDS LATER SISTER IS LEAVING THE DUG OUT. Now…. Now come on. I’m just so mad about it. I know that they needed it to happen to have Carols story but god damn it. It still makes me so sad.

Other Character Tidbits

Dale

I forgot how much I liked Dale. He always seemed to know what was going on in the gossip. He is a nosey bitch and honestly me too. Sad that he died how he did. Can’t say I agreed with all his actions and opinions but he was still cool and I liked his hat.

Carol

One of my favorite characters from what I remember. Her story starts so sad but she’s gonna become a badass soon and I’m ready for it.

Daryl

Everyone was also so thirsty for Daryl when I was growing up and like, honestly, yeah. I get it. Hate his brother (side note the full on N word really shook the fuck out of me when it happened in season 1) fully though.

Little Things from the Last Episode of Season 2

I don’t know why, but it drives me absolutely crazy that the group is always leaving their car doors open. It makes me actually insane. Please just shut the door. It isn’t that hard. Maybe it’s my own personal paranoia and my parents yelling at me to close the car door as a kid, but like surely it’s just not a good thing to do. What if someone or something crawls in? Just shut your damn car doors people.

MICHONNES ENTRANCE IS SO FUCKING SICK!!! I’m so excited to see more of her because I remember she was one of my favorites back in the day.

At the very end of the episode when the group is camping out by the wall and are questioning why they’re listening to Rick and why they don’t leave and Rick spits the line “this isn’t a democracy anymore.” I’m so interested to see if and how this forms later on. Because again, this was something I didn’t fully understand and catch on to as a child. I feel like it’s been less of a democracy anyway but still, with Rick making a big statement like this I’m excited to see what’s up.

[yikesharringrove]

Okay fuckers episode 5.

The sound design of this season is the best of all the seasons. They’ve taken some cues from the soundtrack of horror movies and I think they’ve created a soundscape that’s super intriguing.

Stranger things has a habit of going for body horror and gore and just. Not hitting the mark. They don’t make it gross enough or they don’t really take the time to show the damage. Like the kid that gets vecna’d over the water, they don’t relish those scenes of his body being fucked is when they should. I want these people to be having videodrome or re-animator level fucked up deaths.

(Merlin and I spent hours last night talking abt this and we were both saying season 3 would’ve been totally improved by upping the disgust factor in the meat monster by having it LOOK like it was made of body parts. Like if there were recognizable limbs and shit or if the characters made comments on the rotten horrifying smell of it. Think Tusk)

I also am just sick of cgi. What makes old school horror movies so scary and revolting is how real practical effects look. I know you can’t really crumple someone up like Vecna does without creating a fake body and that’s expensive and difficult, but it looks so much better

I’m still loving the scary vibes, especially the haunted house kinda thing but I just really really miss the season 1 low budget b horror energy. The show has lost all the things that made it really stand out to me as something exciting in the beginning

Notes:

I literally dread the moment someone in the California gang suggests going to Utah. It’s probably to use Suzie’s radio and I’m gonna throw up when they cross that state line.

Why is el constantly wearing like twelve layers of clothing

Idk this Nina project thing is giving me bad vibes

NO FUCKING WAY

Dude Bren we was fucking killed WHAT is going on I don’t need this I don’t want this

This man makes my fucking skin crawl “let us work together, daughter and papa” BITCH EW

Bro how many times is this child gonna be traumatized before I can sleep again????

Let hopper rest challenge

“I have a family, I have three kids waiting for me” YES YOU DO, JOYCE. THREE OF THEM I’m getting emosh

Eddie slamming his way through this house like he isn’t a murder suspect

NOT STEVE CURLED UP ON THAT CHAIR LIKE A LITTLE KITTY I love him I love him he’s perfect in every way someone please send me a high res photo of this (and I ignore my dirty laptop screen)

“Cold beer would really calm my jangled nerves”

Lmao Ted telling these kids to fuck off

Max literally listening to ONLY kate bush and ridiculous volumes that’s the vibe

HOLLY IS SO FUCKING GROWN WHAT

Loving Max’s shitty art skills

“Maybe the answer is somewhere in this incredibly vague drawing. God, we need Will.” I actually love this. How wills drawings were so important to figuring shit out in season 2 and max is trying to use that same process but she’s terrible at art bc she’s just a person love this I don’t know why it’s just making my heart happy

Nancy origami-ing this house together. Lowkey would’ve lost my shit if that had been Steve putting it all together. He needs a moment to be smart and I think something visual like this could really be in his wheelhouse. I’m gonna do a fic where it’s Steve that puts it all together

Also bc I could totally see him and tommy and Carol daring each other to go into the Creel house and shit (Ted bundy had a house in my home town and we used to dare each other to go to the porch and knock on the door and shit and Hawkins kids would totally be the same)

WAIT DID THEY SHAVE ELS HEAD AGAIN OR IS THIS A FLASHBACK??? I hate flashback story telling it’s so fucking confusing gd

Is this a truama response? I guess. Bro idk what’s going on

What is with those weird little shoes the older kids have on?

Okay this plastic face bitch needs to get out of my face I literally can’t stay him he’s like fucking Michael Langdon I wanna punch him

STOP calling her sleepyhead I can’t deal

I’m kind of here for this sucked up time loop though

NOT THESE FRUITS BURYING A BODY

Will is literally using a hoe to dig he’s a nightmare

Obsessed with argyle’s very real reaction

Lmao D.A.R.E. Officer will

I KNEW something was gonna be hidden in the pen these guys suck

Some of these Russian guys are super hot and for WHAT

WAIT SO MUCH OF WHAT I HEADCANONED FOR HOPPERS BACKSTORY WAS JUST MADE CANON him fighting in Vietnam (I mean that obv) but it being spurred on by his shitty father that ‘thinks he’s a piece of shit’ I mean. I’ve written shit where billy and hop bind over their fucked up dads and the way we REALLY could’ve had hop seeing through Billy’s facade I’m gonna scream

This agent orange story is so so fucked up and the way that this is REAL are you kidding? I’m freaking out

Oh rip Sarah

THEY DO NEED YOU HOP AND YOU NEED THEM IT GOES BOTH WAYS

I’m gonna cry omg

Oh Christ Chrissy’s mom can fuck RIGHT off

I have to say the music they use when someone sees the clock, and the chimes are like bassed up and slowed it’s really cool

Jason needs to fuck off i fucking can’t with him

Stupid fucking Jason writing reefer ricks instead of reefer rick’s

“Should I knock? See if anybody’s home?” Steve you just pried off the wood that was keeping this place boarded up

“I found a key” queen of chaos robin Buckley

Thank god Steve has the limbs of a giraffe so someone in this group could reach the knob

Okay but Steve’s blank look when Dustin “do you need to be told everything? You’re not a child”joe keery sometimes just goes so dead in the eyes sometimes and it’s my favorite thing in the world

Also “thank you” “you’re welcome” he’s my baby boy I love him

“Why’s this wizard obsessed with clocks?” Idk Steve why am I obsessed with you? Sometimes people are just obsessed with things

Let Steve hit Dustin over the head like real brothers would challenge

“Why’d you sigh?” “I didn’t sigh, just come on dude” love Steve playing this off like it wasn’t the biggest most dramatic sigh in the whole world

We had a very similar lamp in my childhood home lol

THIS CONVO ABOUT MURRAY’S KARATE CLASS IM OBSESSED Jeremiah is my new favorite side character

If I have to hear this whore say “well well…” I’m gonna go on a murder spree

These flashes between cgi little el and old el is making my vertigo act up

“Good morning children” “good morning Miss Hannigan”

Brenner can choke on the biggest fattest dick

Sensory deprivation tanks are one of my biggest fears ngl

Argyle is the queer that can’t drive we all needed in this show

no. No no no no NO olease DONT please don’t

They showed that map of Utah and I ralphed

Will singing never ending story lub him

Eddie looks like if Alex Horne and Erin mcgehey had a child

This fucker that wears a trucker hat everywhere, even while wearing a suit is such a douchebag jock vibe I love

Why do NONE of my green colored pencils function FUCK

“If there’s a spider nesting in there you’re never gonna find it u too it lays eggs and all the babies spill out” ROBIN PLEASE

I love Steve constantly being like “we’re friends we’re friends we’re friends” and saying how he WOULD date robin but she wouldn’t date him. I hate that he and Nancy are sniffing around one another but he makes it very clear that he doesn’t think he’s too good for Robin or that she’s not attractive, but that she actually wants nothing more than platonic with him without outing her. I just think it’s very sweet

STEVE STARTED TO TRY TO QUOTE THE SHERLOCK HOLMES QUOTE DUSTIN SAID QND I HAD TO LEAVE THE ROOM HES SO EMBARRASSING

And then he just walks away he’s such a baby such a baby

Kate bush will NEVER lose her magic powers that wuthering heights video is fucking amazing

Lucas being a lil dork I’m so so glad he’s a real character again after last season

I think the sound design is my favorite of all the seasons. The clock noise is cool and the way they’re using running up that hill to play quietly and distorted in certain scenes is really interesting

This whole flashback is like some umbrella academy rip off shit

Not them vying for brenners pocket taffy

Anytime this gross waxwork lookin bitch speaks I am filled with unspeakable rage

Bro where’s Kali in all these flashbacks??? I’ve been honking that since the beginning that first flashback really bothered me bc of all the kids besides 11 were killed how did Kali survive/did she escape earlier than that when she was like 4???? I hate it

“My fingers are like arrows!” The theatre if it all what a whore I love Murray

The karate has really payed off good for you dude

And then Murray and Joyce were frozen for sixty years like captain America

Yes Steve being the Scooby gang leader for five seconds loml

Eddie I promise you can paddle faster than he can swim

If Vecna can fuck with the flashlights he could totally fuck with the Walkman too

Lmao Eddie falling overboard

Good job girl FUCK brenner I hate him I hate him

Why did they reshave els head??? I don’t get it and bc it’s a wig it makes her head look oddly shaped

“Papa” “daughter” 🤢

[therealtsk]

tsk i’m DYING to hear your play-by-play on which worm characters have dumb fanon interpretations

UH OH YOU JUST OPENED THE FLOODGATES so the short answer is pretty much every major character but I am a high-effort bitch so let's do this: Taylor Hebert: jfc, I could probably hit a word count limit talking about Taylor alone. First you have the dumb as shit TINO (Taylor In Name Only) phenomenon where people just straight up SI as Taylor but pretend it's her and she's basically a different person wearing Taylor's skin like an ill-fitting suit. Then there's the Memetic Escalator Taylor interpretation where Taylor's Warlord era characterization is flanderized so hard that she turns into her world's version of Doomguy where her response to literally everything is ultra violence, mutilation and torture and she can totally beat up anyone you guys hahah coin sock goes brrrrr you go brutalize those totally deserving victims queen. And then there's shy, stuttering, soft spoken "useless lesbian" Taylor which is not as common but still, fuckin straight men and the way they infantize gay women. Taylor is perhaps the most consistently inconsistent characterization I've seen in fandom, it's fucking wild Lisa Wilbourn: Has two fanon settings. Taylor's best friend who exists solely to give exposition and get the "Stop Coil" subplot rolling (occasional gay subtext will be added in a way that feels fetishy) Or, the evil bitchy blonde who is first target of the SI. I constantly wonder if the people who write the frankly masturbatory SI's are aware that we can tell they're still bitter about girls not dating them in highschool. Brian: basically does not exist in fic aside from the occasional joke cause racism and also because of how popular wlw ships are in Worm fandom. you deserve better dude Alec: has a few token appearances in wormfic fandom that usually have him as the comic relief alongside Aisha, which might actually be for the best considering he's a rapist and the Worm fandom's uhhhh tendencies. Moving on- Aisha: prankster girl that alt!Taylor will adopt as a younger sibling. hopefully is not part of the totally-not-a-harem considering she's even younger then the rest of these teens Bitch: Another girl to fall into alt!Taylor's definitely-not-a-harem, but with more butch tendencies. Basically has no personality in fanon outside of her dogs Parian: SHE DOESN'T HAVE A SHOP FFS also another member of Taylor's totally-not-a-harem Flechette: yeah it's a harem Sophia: holy shit you think Brian's bad? The racism in pretty much every fanon depiction of Sophia is off the charts. Hyper-violent, super edgy, "predator/prey" speech inbound, will get humilated/killed in some new, supposedly satisfying but actually just deeply uncomfortable way, probably throw in some E88 shit too just because Emma: again, do the writers know we can tell they're still malding over the fact that the pretty girls in highschool didn't date them? fanon emma is pretty much a cardboard cut out of whoever was mean to the author. something something bitches three Madison: in fanon has a C53 fetish, occasionally is also Browbeat. don't ask why Victoria: gets hit with the blonde stereotypes even harder then Lisa, "Collateral Damage Barbie" is one of the phrases that activates my flight or fight responses. she basically is an entirely different character in fanon. bubbly dumb blonde girl with a massive temper and well other sexist bullshiit Amy: I hate even touching this character with a ten foot pole but basically is hit with the "soft useless lesbian" trope hard enough to make her into a completely separate person from her canon self. whether or not this is a good thing is still up for debate Carol: in fanon, an evil bitch who exists solely to bully Amy Mark: who? The rest of New Wave: cannon fodder for Leviathan Danny Hebert: literally stale milk instead of a personality, will probably die before the fic is over but we won't care because the author did not care either Armsmaster: hahaha robotman go brrrr or is an arrogant self-aggrandizing shit, can't interact with people without Dragon helping him 24/7 Miss Militia: fanon bat'd into team mom,

idk where this came from considering her first instinct upon seeing children is to pull out a gun holy shit wait is she actually Taylor's true mom- Velocity: canon fodder for levi Battery & Assault: sitcom wife, sitcom husband! please ignore how fucked up this relationship is if you look at it for more than two seconds Dauntless: haha armsy is JEALOUS also cannon fodder for levi Triumph: who? The BB wards in general tend to be incredibly bland, the only ones who have fanon personalities of note are Clockblocker and Vista. The former being such a huge prankster that every other line is a joke- or him complaining about how BULLSHIT Alt!Taylor's powers are. Vista is an angry kiddo who says that Shadow Stalker doesn't count as being a girl on the team The E88: no personality for any of them except that Kaiser is noble and really isn't that bad and also Purity did nothing wrong totally she's just a hot mom trying to do her best, please ignore how she exclusively targets characters of color and literally calls white criminals more civilized than miniorities- the worm fandom has something of a nazi problem i hate it here The ABB: racism and honorable samurai lung even though that has no canon basis so again, racist stereotypes The Slaughterhouse 9: This one makes me just as sad as the Lisa shit because dear god this is such a good cast of villains that fanon completely flattens to bowling pins for the Alt!Taylor of the week to mow down, why does this fandom suck so much. Anyway Jack is just the Joker, Crawler is masochistic, etc i'm moving on now The PRT/Protectorate as a whole: They are an evil paramilitary organization that pressgangs kids into signing up to become child soldiers, and somehow at the same time, they are a bunch of idiots who listen to the PR department and have stupid things like RULES that prevent capes from COMMITTING VIOLENCE. Being called "the biggest gang of all" is common and some shit like "at least the criminals are honest" is a likely statement. Cauldron: whoo boy this one really boils my blood but fanon Cauldron are just a bunch of evil idiots who can't even tie their shoelaces. basically a bunch of dudebros are upset that women run the world and that two of them essentially have "I win" powers so they have to make them lose to their SI- er, Taylor in fics so they can assuage their masculinity, which totally isn't pathetic Scion: Is at once the end all be all of worm you can't write a wormfic without scion or else it's TOTALLY MEANINGLESS because what is the point of a story if all the characters are going to DIE in a few years anyway, and at the same time is incredibly easy to defeat- this ties into how Cauldron is stupid. Scion Truthers pls shut up and go read something else okay I think that's everyone I would apologize but the only thing I'm sorry for is how messy this is

[rachaelswrites]

Green Light, Red Light

Spencer Reid x daughter!reader

Based on Criminal Minds Season 12 Episodes 21 and 22 “Green Light” and “Red Light”

Word Count: 1,796

Warnings: kidnapping, gun violence

A/n: Part of the Episode series (also was a request)

You were used to seeing Cassie in the mornings, but today she wasn’t there. There was another girl, but she looked too young to be a nurse. 

“Where’s Cassie?” you asked. Your gut told you something was wrong and your dad always said to trust your gut. 

“Cassie isn’t here today,” the nurse said, “I’m Carol,” she stuck her hand out for you to shake but you declined. 

“I’m sorry about her. She’s so much like her father,” Diana said, resting her hand on your shoulder. 

Carol bent down in front of you, “Speaking of your dad, I’m taking you two to visit him today. Would you like that?” she was talking to you like a child. You were technically a child, being only twelve but you were a lot smarter than kids your age. 

You shook your head, “No. JJ or Emily always take me.” 

“Don’t be silly Y/n,” Diana said, “Let’s go see Spencer.” 

You had no choice but to comply. Maybe this could be your way to warn your dad about what was happening. On the bus ride to the prison you sat in between Carol and your grandmother. 

“Come on Y/n, smile a little. We’re seeing your dad today,” Carol was trying to get you to trust her, but you were too smart. 

“I don’t care,” you moved seats away from her, “I don’t like you,” you said under your breath. The lady you were now sitting next to you heard what you said and laughed a little. 

You noticed as you were walking down the hallways to the visiting room, Carol acting strange. She would walk on different sides of the hallways and look down at certain times. You knew there was something up. 

You got to visit Spencer first. You were sitting in a chair and your dad was pushed inside. He didn’t look like himself, he looked like he hadn’t slept in days, “Dad!” you reached out to hug him but he stopped you. 

“We can’t touch,” he nodded over to the guard watching you two, “I’m sorry,” he sat down on the chair across from you, “What’s wrong? You look upset?”

“I mean my dad is in prison so, sorry if I’m upset about that.” 

“Besides that. Tell me if I can do anything.”

You sighed, “I don't know. Something just feels off about the nurse.”

Spencer raised his eyebrows, “I thought you liked her?”

“I’ve never met her before dad.”

Spencer leaned forward towards you. He had done some reading about kids acting up when something happened with their parents but this was something else, “Stop messing around Y/n,” he said seriously, “If something's going on, tell me.”

“I just did! I don’t know any Carols,” you didn’t understand why he was getting mad at you. 

“Who’s Carol?”

“Cassie’s replacement? Carol said you hired her?” you knew for sure there was something wrong now, based on the look on your dad’s face. 

“Y/n, I didn’t hire anyone besides Cassie.” Spencer was now confused himself. What were you talking about?

“But-” you were interrupted by the door opening and Carol walked in. 

“Come on Y/n, we have to go now,” she said, reaching her hand out for you.

Spencer grabbed onto you tightly, ignoring the no touching rule, “Y/n, no.”

“Dad?”

“Spencer I’m sorry but I have to get her back now. She has school tomorrow. I wish you could have more time,” Carol faked her sympathy. She knew Spencer would recognize her. This was her way of throwing him off. 

“She’s not leaving with you,” he turned to the guard, “I need Emily and my lawyer here. My daughter isn’t going back with her,” he was still holding onto you, “She’s not leaving here.”

“Back off inmate,” the guard said, pulling you away from him. He gently shoved you to the door and into Carol’s arms. She tried to wrap her arms around you but you pushed her off. 

“I want to stay!” you yelled but the door was already closed in your face. Carol grabbed you and started walking towards the exit. Diana was nowhere to be found. You heard your dad yelling for you but there was nothing you could do. Surprisingly Carol was a lot stronger than you and it was hard to get her hands off. 

“Diana said you were a good kid. I guess she was wrong.” she sneered.

“You’re not who you say you are. Why didn’t my dad want me with you?”

She laughed, “I’ll tell you later. We have someplace to be.”

~~~~~

Carol told you her real name was Lindsey and your dad worked a case that she was a part of. Lindsey had taken you and Diana captive. She put Diana in the truck of the car and put you in the passenger seat, “If anyone asks, I’m your babysitter. If you yell for help, I’ll kill her,” she gestured toward the trunk of the car as she got out at the gas station. 

“Can I get some air? I get car sick.”

“Sure. Just stay by the car.” 

You knew the team would realize you were kidnapped and would put out an AMBER alert on you, hopefully someone would recognize you. Lindsey had dyed her hair and cut yours. There was another person filling up his car. He smiled at you and then at Lindsey. You heard the AMBER alert go off on the guys phone and on Lindsey's. She checked it and whipped her head up to you, “Get in the car. Now!” she hissed.

You did as she told you and climbed back into the passenger's seat. 

“I think I see the people you’re looking for,” the guy had called the cops and was reporting you two, “Their hair is different but I’m pretty sure it’s them. I’m at a gas sta-” before he could finish, Lindsey shot him. 

You jumped back out of the car, “Why did you do that?”

“Are you really that stupid? Get back in the car,” she pointed the gun at you and shot. It just grazed your arm. Enough to scare you and make you bleed, “Put pressure on it. I need you alive.” 

You scrambled back into the car and found some napkins to cover the wound. Her phone rang and she answered. Her gaze kept shifting from you to the trunk. She opened the driver’s side and shoved the phone at you, “Speak.”

“Hello?” your voice was shaky.

“Y/n? Is that you? Are you ok?”

“Dad! Please help me.”

Lindsey took the phone back, “She’s alive,” she hung up and got back in the car, grabbing gasoline. She poured it around the car and opened the trunk. She yanked Diana out and shoved her into the guy’s truck. She walked around to your door and did the same. She then set the gas station and drove off, leaving the building burning behind you. 

Once at your new location, you were met by another man. He grabbed you, while Lindsey had Diana. 

“I thought they weren’t supposed to be harmed,” the man said, motioning to the napkins that were placed on your arm. 

“She’s a brat and needed to be shut up,” she replied

“And you’re a bitch.” you responded. 

The man laughed but Lindsey grabbed you roughly by your hair, “Keep talking like that and I’ll make sure you die slowly,” she let you go and shoved you forward, making you fall. 

“If your intention was to not hurt me, you’re doing an awful job,” you stood up and brushed yourself off. 

They led you into the cabin and tied you and Diana up in one of the bedrooms. 

“Y/n, you look awful,” she wasn’t in one of her clear head moments so she didn’t really understand what was happening. 

“Well, being kidnapped that happens.” you said blatantly. Not really thinking about softening the blow. 

Diana’s eyes grew in shock, “We’re kidnapped? How’d we get here? Where’s Spencer, is he coming?”

You shrugged. You could tell the injury in your arm was getting to you, because you were growing tired, “I’m sure the team’s working on it. They’ll get here,” you slurred. You heard Diana try to tell you something but you lost consciousness. 

You weren’t sure how long you were out but you remember being woken up by someone shaking you and calling for a medic. You opened your eyes groggily and saw a familiar face, “Emily?” you tried to move but you were still bound to the chair. 

“Oh Y/n, let’s get you out of here,” she helped Rossi untie you and helped you stand up, “Can you walk?”

You shook your head and she carefully lifted you into her arms, “Is my dad here?”

“He’s at Quantico. He’s been worried about you,” everyone was worried about you. There was no way Spencer would be able to handle losing either you or his mother.

“I was so scared. I didn’t know what to do,”

She set you on one of the gurneys that the medics had brought out, “You did everything right. Spencer would be proud,” she lifted your head up with her hands, getting a good look at your injuries, “They really did a number on you huh?”

You nodded and laid back on the gurney, “Can I see him soon?”

“Yeah. The medics just need to check you out,” she followed as the medics wheeled you into the ambulance, “I’ll stay with you if you want,”

You nodded again and she stepped into the back, sitting next to you. 

Your injuries weren’t bad so they were able to patch you up in the ambulance. Emily was with you in the elevator. Diana was cleared before you so she got back sooner. 

“Excited much?” Emily teased since you were bouncing up and down on your heels. 

“Sorry. It’s just been so long since I saw him as a normal person,” you explained. Emily placed her hand on your shoulder as the doors opened. The rest of the team was waiting for you. 

The doors had just barely opened before your dad pulled you into a huge bear hug. He wrapped his arms completely around you and rested his chin on the top of your head, “Oh my god Y/n, I’m so sorry,” he kissed the top of your head and pulled away, “This never should've happened to you,” he looked you over and saw the bruises on your wrists and the bandage on your arm. 

You noticed his gaze had shifted to your arm and you placed your hand over it, “I’m fine dad. I’m just glad everyone’s ok.”

He pulled you back into a hug, “I’m never leaving you again like this. Ever,”

Taglist

@ssebstann @peachyprincessss @emmy-writes-sometimes @dudele @kerrswriting @laura-naruto-fan1998

[walkerwords]

“In Her Sights” F!Reader & Negan (Daryl x Reader Background)

Summary: You are a former special ops member. When Negan killed Glenn and Abraham you were on a run for weapons. When you learned of what happened, you were pissed, especially since Negan now had your husband, Daryl. When Negan comes for week one pick up, you are waiting for him, unseen and with demands.

Word Count: 2250

Warnings: cursing

Song I Wrote To: “Bloodlust” by The Phantoms

Note: some things are different, just go with it! :) Requests are welcome, go ahead and send prompts for everything TWD.

-------

The rumble of the trucks alerted the scouts on the edge of the perimeter. 

Tobin immediately called in the arrival of the Saviors. You wasted no time in getting into position. Since you had arrived back in Alexandria and learned about Abraham and Glenn, the rage that you normally kept at bay boiled in your chest. Then Rick had told you about Daryl. You had destroyed half of your bedroom when hearing of that particular news.

The guilt was heavy in your heart. You were their wild card, the one that always kept them safe. You were the one who took out the snipers at Grady and even most of the Termites that threatened them when Carol attacked Terminus. It was your job to be invisible. You and Abraham were the two veterans of the group and while he took charge with war tactics, it was you, the former special-ops member, to take out their enemies unseen and show their true strength. 

However, the night that Maggie was sick and needed to get to Hilltop, You were out on a run to a nearby Air Force base with Jesus. You needed a few extra trinkets to work on your weapons and incendiary devices. When you had returned home to the news, you swore you wouldn’t leave them undefended again. 

You made your way to the vantage point in the trees. You and Sasha had managed to camouflage it perfectly with the help of Eugene and Carl. It was invisible unless you knew what you were looking for and it gave you the perfect view of the front gate and the hostiles that approached Alexandria. You readied your rifle, adjusting the silencer on it as well as the laser sight. Through your scope, you could see both sides of the wall. Rick and Aaron were waiting for your orders. Aaron on the ground and Rick hidden on the watch post. Two other weapons were at your side on the platform as well as three soaked sheets of Walker blood to detract the Dead from circling your hiding spot. 

You trained your weapon on the approaching vehicles, counting the Saviors and gaining a perspective on their weaponry. While they may have more ammo, they didn’t know about you, and Rick was careful to keep it that way for as long as possible. The Saviors exited their trucks and readied their weapons as the boss finally made an appearance. You sneered as Negan strutted towards the gate. His leather jacket hugging his broad chest and his infamous baseball bat hitched onto his shoulder as if he was putting on a show. 

“Little pig! Little pig! Let me in!” He bellowed and you switched on your laser sight. You aimed it right at Negan’s heart. Immediately, the man to his right pointed it out. The man with the pornstache, Rick called him Simon, pointed to his boss, taking a step back. Negan glanced down and anger filled his face. “What the shit!” he yelled. 

“Aaron,” you said into your walkie and the gate slowly slid open. The Saviors all turned their weapons on Aaron who ignored them and walked towards Negan. He held out the walkie to the leader without saying a word. Negan stared at him, unmoving, so you raised the laser to right between his eyes. Simon grabbed the walkie and offered it to his boss, a warning look in his eyes. Negan snatched the radio and Aaron walked back inside the walls, shutting the large gate behind him. Aaron nodded to you and you then lowered your sight back onto the man’s sternum. 

“What the fuck is this, Rick?” Negan said into the walkie. 

“This isn’t Rick, asshole,” you said calmly into the radio. Negan looked around, trying to guess where the shooter was, but he would never find you. Even if he discerned where you were held up, you had activated traps around the tree. The Saviors would be blown sky high before they even got the chance to reach you.

“Whom do I have the pleasure of speaking to?” Negan asked, slipping back into his cocky performance. 

“That’s not your concern,” you said, your teeth grinding together. “You know, we haven’t met, but I like to think we have something in common, Negan.” 

“And what’s that?” he asked, gripping his bat harder. 

“The whole ‘we are Negan’ bullshit. That’s how I work too. I’m everywhere you sick son of a bitch. The only reason you are still alive is because when you slaughtered my friends, I was out on a weapons run. If I had been in that RV, your first roadblock would be a pile of charred bones right now.”

“You’re real brave to threaten me, sweetheart,” he growled. “Why don’t you come on out and we can discuss this like grown-ups?”

“I prefer to keep my distance,” you responded. 

“Sounds a bit cowardly to me,” Negan spat back. 

“At least I didn’t kill an unarmed soldier and the husband of a pregnant woman who kneeled at your feet as she struggled to keep her unborn child alive,” you returned with as much venom as you could muster, feeling both Glenn and Abraham’s loss in your chest. Negan had gone quiet, looking at Simon.

“She was pregnant?” Negan finally asked. 

“No, she just had a bad case of food poisoning. God if you were even still remotely human you would have asked what was wrong with her. Not that any of that matters now. Maggie is dead along with her son.” Negan hung his head slightly as he heard the news. You, of course, knew that Maggie was fine. The widow was now at Hilltop with Sasha and Enid as she finished her pregnancy. However, Negan didn’t need to know that. “Congratulations, asshole, you killed a pregnant woman.” 

“What the hell do you want?” Negan fired back. “What game are you playing?”

“This isn’t a game, Negan, this is just how things are going to be from now on. I have some demands and you’re going to meet them or you die.” 

“Again with the threats, darlin’,” he said, still searching the trees. It was silent for a moment. “Did you disappear on me?” You raised the laser sight to his throat. 

“I know you have Daryl,” you said, your tone deadly calm. 

“I do,” Negan said smugly. “What interest is he to you?” You watched as the man on his left, Dwight, you figured, glance back at one of the trucks. Even at this distance, you could see the unmistakable mop of hair of your husband. 

“You’re going to release him,” you told him, “You are going to let him go and you will return both his vest and his crossbow or I start shooting.” Negan glanced around, nearly laughing amongst his Saviors as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. 

“Here’s a question for you mystery lady,” he said, taking a few steps towards the main gate. “Who is he to you and why shouldn’t I just put a bullet in his brain right now?” You flexed your hands around your weapons, trying to stay calm. Rick had warned you that Negan would try to get under your skin and that you needed to be careful. You were trained to control your emotions, but even you had to admit that this man knew how to get under people’s skin. It made you want to shoot him even more. 

“If you even try to pull a gun on my husband, I will fill your body with so many holes that even your Walker body won’t be able to get up and walk again,” you threatened evenly. Negan nearly dropped the walkie at your words. 

“Woah! Husband! Did you hear that, D? Your man Daryl has a goddamn woman to warm his bed!” Negan said to Dwight who was looking like a fidgeting weasel. “Well, shit, sweetheart, I didn’t know our Daryl was such a lucky man. Tell me, what it is that you find so fucking special about him? Cause if I’m being honest, he’s not much to look at, at least not since we’ve had him.” Negan sent a smile in your general direction, clearly enjoying all of this very much. However, you were tired of playing this back and forth shit. 

“You have ten seconds to do what I asked or my rifle finds its first target,” you said. 

“I have a better idea,” Negan said, “why don’t you take that rifle and shove it up your ass?” 

“Fine,” you said and then quickly retrained your weapon, “Ten,” you counted and fired, shooting a Savior right between the eyes. The body dropped quickly. “Nine,” you shot another man. “Eight,” a woman to Negan’s left went down in a spray of blood. “Seven,” the man next to Dwight dropped. 

“Stop!” Negan bellowed and your finger stalled on the trigger. Simon stared around in horror at the scene, seeing his four dead comrades creating pools of blood across the asphalt. 

“Daryl. Now,” you repeated. 

“Shit!” Negan cursed and then looked at Dwight. “Get him,” he ordered. Dwight wasted no time in running to the truck Daryl was being held in. You watched every move as Daryl stumbled out of the truck and besides a few bruises and cuts, he seemed to be in one piece. You would make sure Rosita took a look at the gunshot wound that must have still been bothering him. Dwight shoved Daryl towards the gate, past Negan who glared at him.

“And the vest,” you said into the walkie. Dwight shrugged out of the leather vest and shoved it into Daryl’s hands. Daryl approached Dwight, getting into his face. Leveling a stare that made the other man swallow hard. “I believe he wants his weapon,” you said, easily reading the body language of your husband. Dwight just stared back, being stubborn. Daryl took a few steps back and then raised his right hand hooking his fingers towards you. You adjusted your aim and shot at Dwight’s feet, causing him to jump a foot or so back. 

“Dammit Dwight!” Negan yelled and Dwight grabbed the bow from the back of his truck and tossed it to Daryl who caught it easily. You then moved the laser sight towards Aaron and then back to Daryl and Aaron opened the gate. Daryl wasted no time in turning and walking back into his home, not even bothering to glance back at his captors. 

“Great,” you said, “now, kindly fuck off because I still have six more bullets with Savior names on them.” Negan nearly crushed the radio in his hands. 

“I’m going to kill you,” Negan promised. 

“That’s funny,” you laughed, “my friend said the same thing to you.” You then turned to see Rick stand up and make himself known. Negan turned to the leader of Alexandria with a sneer. Rick stood on top of the gate like a king as he stared at the Saviors below. His hand was resting on his gun. Negan noticed that immediately. Rick smiled. “A friend recently made a visit to the Sanctuary while you were on the road,” you explained. “Don’t worry, Fat Joey is still alive, he’s just missin’ a few fingers.” Jesus had retrieved the colt only an hour before the convoy had arrived. It was just icing on the cake for your plan.

“Why don’t you just pull the trigger?” Negan said into the radio, but his eyes remained on Grimes. 

“All in good time, Negan,” you said, recentering your crosshairs on him. “I want you to live for a little bit longer knowing that any point I can blow your brains out with a twitch of my finger. It makes me sleep better at night. So, you’re going to get back in your cars and leave Alexandria and if you come back, I will not only kill you, but everyone with you and then take them all back and let them loose on the Sanctuary and have your people fend for themselves. Do you understand?” 

“We had a deal, dick!” Negan called up to Grimes, swinging Lucille around in his hand. 

“She doesn’t make deals, Negan!” Rick called back. “Now go before I do kill you.” You didn’t wait for another witty comeback as you took aim and fired on another Savior. 

“Six,” you said. Negan threw the walkie down on the ground and strutted back to his truck. You watched them leave, their vehicles disappearing down the road. You then turned the channel on your radio and called to Tobin and Carl who were on standby at the end of the drive. “You can release them now.” 

————

A mile or so down, Tobin and Carl released two Walkers that stumbled out into the road.

As Negan’s convoy came across them, he slammed on the breaks. You and Rick had taken your time to perfect the art project. Both Walkers were male, dressed in biker boots, jeans, and leather jackets that they had found in the back of the closet of an empty house in Alexandria. Rick then had found two baseball bats and tied them to the Walkers’ hands. Letting them loose for Negan to see was Carl’s idea and you had loved it immediately. 

Negan got out of the car much to Simon’s disapproval. He wasted no time in swinging Lucille and killing both of the Negan-Walkers. He smashed their heads until there was nothing left but red. He turned his face back towards Alexandria, roughly wiping the blood from his face. “I’m going to kill that bitch.” 

[troop-scoop]

Youth I

Chapter One -  Pilot

Word count: 2k

Series Summary: On a family trip to your dad’s home town of Hawkins, Indiana, you make a series of decisions that result in you ending up in the year 1983 with more questions than there are answers presently available. 

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Female Reader ( slow burn ) 

Chapter Summary: You go through what’s become your new ‘normal’ at Hawkins High School

⟛⟛

Nothing about your current situation was settling right in your stomach. There were no answers as to how you got here, and you didn’t have any questions that could easily be answered. A series of unfortunate events resulted in the attitude you carried. You used to be sweet, all smiles and laughter unless someone did something to make you upset.

What happened to that girl? The girl who grew up never experiencing fear to the point where it worried her parents and made teachers concerned because she’d climb so high on the playground that if you fell, you’d surely break something.

You’d climbed so high on something, and you fell into this situation, and something did break. Your bravery, your fearlessness, nothing physical, but those two things were shattered, and your ego bruised.

Nothing was like what you were used to. To you, everything in this school hallway was dated. The fashion, the haircuts, the textbooks, and the tech.

The stereotypes.

“L/n!”

You shook your head, already knowing whose voice that was. A teenage boy who fit the typical ‘jock’ stereotype that everyone knew. The kid who hated his small town, he got around, played a sport his father probably hated, who would likely never get out of said small town he hated. Yeah, you knew the pattern. Everyone, where you were from, did.

“No.”

You continued on your trek to the locker, but you could hear the slight squeaking of the soles of the older boy’s Nikes on the linoleum floor trying to catch up. Where you were from, people would be staring at this type of occurrence, but because none of the students surrounding you even batted an eye at the basketball player or you for that matter, told you that it wasn’t abnormal for him to be audacious.

“Hey now, I just wanna talk.” He defended, finally catching up to you, walking alongside, but a little bit behind so he didn’t get in anyone’s way.

“Harrington, the last time you wanted to ‘talk’ was when you needed my math homework.” A chuckle escaped you as you said it, finally stopping at your locker.

“In my defense, you don’t look like a sophomore.” He tried, standing next to you as you were spinning the knob in the locker to get it open.

“Whatever, what do you want?”

“Wow, you’re grumpy. Anyways, Tommy H, Carol, and I wanna hang out but my parents don’t leave for another week, and we can’t be at Carol’s place because her mom hates Tommy, and well, you know how Tommy’s dad is.”

You hummed in amusement. “Yeah, he’s a dick, how does that involve me?” You had your binder and pencil case in one arm, staring at him with your hand inside of your locker, holding onto the cup of coffee.

“Can we hang out at your place?”

Rolling your eyes you kneeled down, placing your things down on the ground before standing upright, grabbing the collar of his jacket and pulling it towards your locker, placing it inside before closing the door on it. “Not happening.” You responded, a bright smile on your face as you grabbed your things, taking a step to walk away.

“Y/n! This isn’t funny!”

“I’m gonna correct you on that, it’s not funny to you.” The situation was probably the funniest thing you’d encountered in weeks, and considering your day to day life before used to be full of laughter and playfully teasing, that then went to quiet days spent alone and pondering, this was a nice change.

“Unlock it or I’ll tell Mrs. Jensen!”

Steve’s threat caused you to laugh, holding your things closer so you didn’t drop any of them. “A tattletale? You always did strike me as the type to tease kids in elementary school, but you never did seem like a snitch, you do know the saying right? About snitches?”

“Yeah, from you!” he responded, and although he had a serious face, you knew he was fighting back a smile as well by his voice and how his brows weren’t furrowed in frustration or anger.

“Snitches are bitches, who get stitches and end up in ditches.” it wasn’t intentional for both of you to say it at the same time, but you had, but in two very different tones of voice. Your’s was more ‘matter of fact’ and he was amused.

You stared at him for a second, your smile remaining before you stepped forward,  turning the dial of your lock to open it, and once you lifted the lever for the door, Steve got himself out, standing up straight and staring down at you, his hands finding the pockets of his jacket as you closed the locker door again. “That wasn’t fair, you look innocent,” he mumbled to himself.

“I’ll see you later?” Steve asked after a second.

“We have study hall together, so. . . maybe,” you told him, stepping away from the locker and heading down the hallway to your English class.

Bulletin boards on the walls, spaced out between each other, with thumbtacks keeping flyers and announcements up for students to see, lockers for students to keep their things throughout the day. It was all odd.

At your previous schools, lockers weren’t available. That was until your freshman year where you had to pay five dollars a year if you wanted one. And instead of bulletin boards, flyers and announcements would just be taped to the walls, or given during morning announcements, or emailed to students and parents. You were pretty sure your previous high school got rid of lockers in the late ’90s when drugs became prominent in your area and then got rid of bulletin boards when one student sent the other to the hospital with a thumbtack to the wrist, but those types of stories always had a few details in them that never made sense, allowing you to cast doubt on them. But maybe the story had just been told so many times that detail got twisted, the truth of what happened got misconstrued. Like a game of telephone.

Reaching the English classroom, you found your seat, with your anxiousness rising as you sat down, placing your coffee at the upper corner of your small desk, keeping your school supplies close to your chest.

You’d been a happy kid growing up. You didn’t have very many friends, but you had your parents, your little brother, and a condo that you’d been brought home to as a newborn that you knew was a safe place. Unlike the few friends you did have, you never really experienced anxiety or symptoms of depression, but you knew the signs, your closest friend, Mandy, dealt with it, and she confided in you often about how it felt and what it was like, and you often did your own research on it to know what you could to help her.

There were weekends where you spent a good few hours learning different breathing techniques to help her whenever she would have a panic attack, but now that you were dealing with moments where your heart sped up, your hands shook and you felt like something was terribly wrong, it was like all of those hours had been a waste because you couldn’t use them without getting more anxious.

“You okay?”

Looking to your left, you were met with a curious glance from your partner on the English project. Giving an unconvincing nod, you looked down at the top of your desk, eyes tracing over the wood pattern, lines connecting that looked like they shouldn’t, forming shapes and allowing you to distract yourself as Jonathan set his things down as well, taking his seat next to you.

Mrs. Jensen went over the usual, giving instructions for the project that everyone already knew, before leaving everyone to work, with her sitting behind her desk, a book in hand and a container of what you assumed were grapes by the purplish color. Though they could have been large blueberries.

“What’s so important about a quote?” Jonathan mumbled to himself, though it caught your attention from your own worksheet, looking over to him.

“In what context?” you asked, taking a sip from your drink as he began speaking.

“We’re talking about Romeo and Juliet, everyone knows what it’s about, you don’t really need a quote to explain things.”

You nodded when he looked over to you. “A lot of people only really know that it was written by Shakespeare and it’s about two star crossed lovers who kill themselves in the end. Mrs. Jensen probably knew that’s all anyone really remembers, she wants to make sure people know what’s actually happening.

“It’s pretty obvious, ‘Romeo, oh Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?’ she’s asking where he is.” He shrugged a bit, placing the book down on the desk, pages open and light reflecting off of the glossy pages.

“No, she’s not,” you told him, getting an odd and questioning look from him. “Well, this was written in the 1500s, English is practically a new language at that point, getting its own footing for once, paintings of historical figures wouldn’t have the English spelling of their names, and English is a language that’s taken a bunch of different parts from other languages, mostly german. If you ever see a period piece that’s set around this period of time, if a child says ‘lady mother’ when they’re addressing their mom, they’re not acknowledging that their mother is a female. They’re acknowledging her title. So her husband is likely a lord of a piece of land, which makes her the lady of that land as well. It was an archaic way of showing respect to their mother by also saying she had a title.”

“How does that relate to the quote?”

“Well, early modern English had many different phrases, and things have changed, we’ve come up with ways to say things that are far more simple. While we think she’s asking where Romeo is, she’s actually asking why he’s Romeo. Why out of all the people she could have fallen for, it had to be him. The enemy. You could use that in the analysis, a bit of how it shows we don’t choose who we love, even if we know we shouldn’t love them.”

Jonathan blinked before looking at his worksheet, picking up his pencil and writing something down, paraphrasing what you had just said and only moments later the bell rang, signaling the end of the class period.

You grabbed your things, leaving as quickly as you could without looking like an idiot, trying to get away from what caused you to be so nervous and make you feel like you could be sick at any moment.

Growing up, you weren’t afraid of many things if any. But maybe you just needed something like this to make you afraid of everything and anything around you. To make you jump at the sound of a drop of water from outside your motel window landing on the metal railing of the stairs and walkway.

But you were terrified, and you wanted to wake up in your own bed, at home, with your dad gently shaking your shoulder to get you up and out of bed. You were terrified you’d never see your parents again, that you’d been too mean to your little brother growing up, and that the last memory he’d have of you was you being mean.

You hadn’t even been afraid to sleep on your own as a kid, and all the things that you weren’t afraid of as a child that you should have been, always seemed to worry your dad. But what would he say and think now? Would he be worried now that you lived in a constant state of fear? Just looking at clothing racks scared you.

Since July you’d been trying to act normal, trying to pretend everything was okay, trying to be your normal self, but your normal self would be odd to everyone else, you knew random things no one else did, you liked things no one even knew about yet, and if you tried to talk about those things, you knew it wouldn’t be a good outcome, not a sour one, but not happy.

⟛⟛

Add yourself to the taglist!

tagging who i know would want to be - 

@stonersteve​ @ilovebucketbarnes​

[bitchybutcher]

Texts I sent a friend the first time I watched The Boys, Season 2:

-        Gird your loins

-        I’m dying to know more about Black Noir

-        Ugh ffs Homelander smarming about on stage at Translucents funeral

-        It’s an empty box but I suppose how would people know cause invisible corpse

-        WHY IS ANNIE SINGING AT THE INVISIBLE PERVS FUNERAL

-        Aw no straight in with Sad Kevin

-        Oh ok angry drunk Kevin

-        Ugh not these Samaritans Embrace fuckers again

-        Oh Annie. Parroting the company line. I hope she’s gonna fuck them all over

-        SAD HUGHIE OH NO

-        BILLY JOOOOOELLLL

-        Aw Kimiko is learning

-        Her lil smile

-        Oooh Hughie is a liiiiiar

-        Meeting on the subway like a couple shifty teenagers

-        Oh I forgot they microchipped the supes like dogs

-        Oh nooooo young love angst

-        Oh no a Sad Kevin incident

-        Aaaaand he’s been arrested

-        A nice archer bailed him out

-        Omfg the fake Butcher re-enactment

-        Oh do NOT tell me this crazy bastard is gonna drink the frozen breast milk

-        Oh fuck he is

-        What the FUCK, HOMELANDER

-        This visually impaired ninja seems nice

-        That probably means he’s gonna turn out to be a dick

-        OH FUCK

-        Homelander what the fuuuuuck

-        Ok what the shit is happening here in the motel

-        WHAT

-        What the fuuuuuck

-        I – MM is making a dolls house? That’s so cute

-        Oh shit smuggled people

-        Homelander is nuts with power

-        Uhhhh who is Carol and why is she staring at Kevin while he sleeps

-        Finally an archer who is honest about how useless they can be once they run out of arrows

-        Oh noooo are they gonna try brainwash Kevin with homeopathic stuff? And why do they keep offering him Fresca

-        OH FUCK ME NOT ANOTHER RELIGION THING

-        Oh Hughie has grown a pair since last season. Good for him

-        Where’s Butcherrrrrrrr

-        Body gore porn dude is called Gecko that’s too cute a name for him

-        Stormfront seems like fun

-        She’s gonna be pissing off Homelander so much I like her already

-        OH WHAT THE FUCK THE CIA LADYS HEAD EXPLODED

-        I like Stan

-        Giving Homelander the dressing down he needs

-        I know it’s convenient for Toni to wear the padded suit all the time but does Homelander ever wear anything else

-        Oh hiiii Becca I still think you’re a bitch and Butcher deserved better

-        BUTCHERRRRR YASSSSS

-        “Daddy’s home”

-        I’m dead. It’s official.

-        The fuckin smirk and the voice I’m fuckin dead

-        OH NO KEVIN IS TRYING THE CHURCH THING

-        Is he making shroom tea

-        Why is Patton Oswalt voicing Kevin’s gills this is delightful

-        Atrain is awake again that’s not good

-        I’m cracking up at Sad Kevin and his singing gills

-        Homelander is gone way off the deep end oh boy

-        Awwww soft Maeve in the hospital with her girlfriend

-        I want to like Becca but I can’t shake the bad feeling

-        Homelander is a terrible father

-        I mean I know he has no role models to base his parenting on, but yikes

-        It’s like if Scar was raising Simba instead of Mufasa

-        ….are the gang raiding a party city store

-        I love how Frenchie always looks a mix of horrified and amazed whenever Kimiko kills someone

-        AWWW IT’S HER BROTHER YAY

-        Oh shiiiiiiiit

-        Butcher STOP JUST SHOOTING PEOPLE

-        You were right this season is weird

-        I like Kimiko’s brothers bedazzled denim jacket

-        Butcher don’t punch Hughie wtf

-        Starting with Hughie listening to the same song again, nice

-        Butcher is terrible at apologising it’s so cute

-        I’m sorry did Hughie just fall over trying to throw a punch

-        The kid’s a dandelion omg

-        Why are they on a boat? Did Karl just decide “I like being on boats lemme go on a boat”?

-        I see what you mean about Homelander being scary

-        He’s completely insane

-        Why does this storyboard guys shirt say assbinder

-        Chace Crawford is an excessively veiny man

-        BLACK NOIR IS CRYING

-        Or possibly laughing

-        Hard to tell when they have no face

-        Annie actually leaked all the compound V stuff good for her

-        FRENCHIE KISSED HUGHIE

-        Homelander is gonna get this kid killed tryna make him fly

-        Honestly the kid looks more like Hughie

-        OH MY GOD HE PUSHED HIM OFF THE ROOF

-        OH MY SWEET FUCKING JESUS HOMELANDER YOU CAN’T DO THAT

-        Oop there’s the laser eyes

-        Oh Homelander is back at the Tower and freaking Maeve out

-        OH FUCK THE BROTHER IS LOOSE

-        Hughie don’t do it

-        Oh ok I thought he was gonna jump off the boat

-        Kevin and the cult weirdos are up to something

-        Hughie no you don’t call the girl you like crying over Billy Joel lyrics

-        Oh god boyo you don’t then drop the L word in the same voice message!

-        He’s hopeless

-        Oh nooooo Kevin is attacking the boat goddammit Kevin

-        OH FUCK A WHALE

-        For fuck sake Kevin

-        Ewwwww

-        Butcher what the fuck

-        Hughie having a nervous breakdown inside of a whale

-        No but why is Karl so hot covered in blood

-        Actually I didn’t even need to include the blood part of that question

-        Oh boy here we go, the 7 show up to find Sad Kevin crying over spilt whale

-        ….why is Stormfront tryna get all up in Homelander’s ass?? I thought she was cool but now she’s all lemme suck that radioactive dick

-        OH NO

-        Poor Kevin he’s worked so hard to accept his gills and now Homelander has knocked him back down

-        Oooo dear Atrain is having a heart attack again this isn’t good

-        Oh fuck is Hughie gon get caught

-        Oh no it’s Annie it’s ok

-        OH FUCK

-        ANNIE WHY

-        THAT’S YOUR HUGHIE

-        OH MAN KIMIKO’S BROTHER IS BADASS YES SQUASH THE SMUG PRICK

-        Oh I do NOT like Stormfront holy fuckin shit what’s wrong with this woman

-        Poor Kimiko

-        What’s with the random woman talking about calling off her wedding?

-        Why is Frenchie taking drugs

-        FUCK SAKE FRENCHIE DON’T TRY KISS A GIRL WHEN SHE’S GRIEVING

-        What the FUCK is thiiiiis

-        Is he dreaming or is this the shapeshifter tryna stay alive by granting Homelander some sick wish

-        Yikes I feel bad for Doppelganger

-        I am fascinated by whoever and whatever the fuck Black Noir is

-        MM sees right through everyone’s bullshit

-        I feel so bad for Annie

-        Ooooo Atrain getting fired

-        MM having to put up with Hughie and Annie having a we didn’t start the fire singalong 😂

-        Ok who’s in the weird group therapy sesh with these women with strange views on love

-        Vending machine date so cute

-        Omfg ahahahaha the girl with the Ed Sheeran tattoo

-        I really want to like Becca cause she stands up to Homelander but I can’t shake the suspicions about her

-        I feel bad for Butcher

-        Homelander is a scary good liar

-        Oh shit interviewer lady is pulling out the diversity questions

-        OH FUCK

-        HE’S OUTED MAEVE

-        Poor Maeve what the fuck

-        Ugh Stormfront

-        Shut your racist hole bitch

-        Oh shit Kimiko on the warpath

-        Frenchie! Kimiko listen to him he’s tryna help

-        MM is doing a lotta sharing this episode

-        Ohhhh something bad is gonna come out about this Liberty lady they’re looking for oh fuck

-        Wait WHAT. STORMFRONT IS LIBERTY

-        Stormfront is like 70????

-        She’s really good with social media for an old bird

-        Ohhh fuck Homelander is pisssssssssed

-        Christ you’d know Homelander was an only child

-        Bitch you better not be fucking Butcher over

-        I FUCKIN KNEW IT

-        BECCA YOU RAGING BITCH

-        Got her goodbye fuck then called the supercops on him cause he’s a little broken? FUCK BECCA

-        Oh no Annie don’t give Hughie the “we can’t do this” talk

-        Pick your emo ass up and stop being melodramatic

-        All these women are chatting to Kevin?? Why??

-        Also this most recent one is super weird

-        THEY WERE INTERVIEWING TO BE KEVINS WIFE

-        This cult thing is so fuckin weird omfg

-        KEVIN GET YOUR SAD BUTT OUT OF THE CULT

-        Oh gross not the Doppelganger shit again

-        Doppelganger is really bad at flirting

-        ….

-        WHAT THE SHIT

-        Nonononono don’t do the selfcest

-        Not even Homelander is that fucked up

-        This is super weird

-        Why is Homelander crying

-        OH SHIT HE KILLED HIM

-        Uhhhh are they doing a lesbian scene in a vcu movie

-        Christ that was terrible and way too on the nose

-        “Strong female lesbians”

-        Homelander you himbo fuck what other kind of lesbian do you get

-        I feel bad for Ashley

-        She just wants to do her job well

-        Poor Butcher. His lil heart is broken

-        Oh no baby you’re hurt and upset? That’s so sad let me suck your dick about it

-        Oh no what’s he gonna do

-        BUTCHER WHAT THE SHIT

-        I mean it’s really fuckin hot but still

-        There’s always a cut on the cheekbone

-        “They’ve been moving her around like a Catholic priest” omg HUGHIE

-        Aww he called Hughie his canary

-        Oh shit are Frenchie and Kimiko missing?

-        KEVIN GOT MARRIED

-        BILLY HAS AN AUNTIE

-        Doggiiiiie

-        Awwwww soft Butcher with his dog

-        Aaaand now I feel bad for Atrain cause he’s being kicked to the curb

-        Oh gross this interview with Kevin and his cult wife

-        This is so cringe holy fuck

-        Bring back the Patton Oswalt gills

-        Why are the gangsters discussing musicals specifically Hamilton

-        FUCKING HELL KIMIKO PEELED OFF THAT GUYS FACE

-        Ahahaha the boys showed up at Butchers aunties house

-        The dog’s name is Terror that’s so cute

-        Hahahaha Hughie was holding the fuck pig

-        Why is there a sniper on the roof

-        Oh shit it’s Black Noir

-        Ugh what does Annie’s mom want and why is Stormfront being her friend

-        Oh hey it’s dickless

-        These two writer dudes are hella irritating

-        Poor Elena getting dragged into this shit

-        Yes Maeve scheme against his ass

-        Heartbroken Butcher is so tired

-        He needs a hug

-        Hughie give Butcher a hug please

-        Why is Kimiko in a church

-        Oh hey its Frenchie’s other girlfriend

-        Oh ok Kimiko is doing hits that’s fair

-        The old man just looking away like “I do not see it”

-        Aw no Frenchie don’t break up with Kimiko

-        Oh fuck off Cult Kevin

-        Stormfront again?????

-        Does this bitch ever fuck off

-        DID SHE JUST CALL ATRAIN GARBAGE

-        Wait why is Homelander giving an unapproved speech

-        This is gonna end in someone getting murdered isn’t it

-        OH FUCK

-        That’s a lot more murder than I expected

-        Ohhhh phew ok he was just daydreaming

-        Ashley is gonna go bald from stress

-        I adore grumpy Butcher

-        Omg auntie Judy is a drug dealer I love her

-        Ohhhh shit Homelander is having a nervous breakdown

-        BOBBY FROM X-MEN????

-        Uhhhh why is Homelander talking to Stormfront this can’t be good

-        Ooh MM set a trap this gon be good

-        BUTCHER HAS A BROTHER???? THAT HUGHIE IS LIKE

-        Oop Lenny is dead

-        The random explosions as Black Noir trips the traps

-        Oh shit Butcher locked the others out to face Black Noir alone

-        YES MM

-        OH NO MM

-        YES HUGHIE

-        Oh fuck did he KO Butcher

-        Shiiiit shit shit shit

-        Yes Butcher save your Hughie

-        Oh good they all survived

-        For fuck sake Kevin stop with the cult shit

-        Maeve please save Kevin from the cult

-        Annie why are you sneaking around don’t do it

-        There’s a lot of shots of Annie’s bum

-        What the fuck is Sage Grove

-        Stormfront needs to go choke on a bag of dicks

-        Oh fuck no not Homelander again

-        Uhhhhhhh

-        Stormfront x Homelander was not what I was expecting

-        These two have the WEIRDEST relationship

-        They’re gonna do some really fucked up supe bdsm shit aren’t they

-        Frenchie is Betty White. Fair enough

-        Wait what is happening. Why is Annie letting Frenchie at her with a lil saw

-        Ohhh the chip

-        “This might sting a little” FRENCHIE IT’S A FUCKIN SAW

-        Oh fuck that’s a big chip

-        Oh look it’s loves psychotic dream

-        Well that’s suitably gross

-        Aww Kimiko hugging Annie

-        Butcher is so menacing I love him

-        Kevin tryna be helpful to his buddies he’s so cute

-        NO! NO BAD KEVIN! STOP TRYING TO MAKE PEOPLE JOIN YOUR CULT

-        Kimiko with her brass knuckle

-        Oh man, flowers??? Homelander has it BAD

-        Annie back the fuck off and leave Butcher alone

-        OH SHIT IT’S STORMFRONT AT THE HOSPITAL NOOOO

-        What the fuck is going on at this hospital

-        OH FUCK BOBBY FROM X-MEN IS LAMPLIGHTER

-        Oh shit who got let out

-        What does Cindy do

-        OH SHIT SHE’S THE HEAD BURSTER

-        Aaaaaaand now they’re all out

-        Good job, guys

-        Ewwwwww acid vomit

-        OH NO HUGHIE

-        Are you kidding me?? Annie can’t go all Starlight unless there’s a power source in the immediate vicinity??

-        What kinda fuckin shite superpower is that

-        Aha Butcher agrees with me

-        Ok so I’m guessing Homelander went berserk on set

-        Uhhhh apparently Cult Lunch is a therapy sesh?

-        Atrain get outta there

-        This cult leader guy is an arsehole

-        Hospital escape lookin like a horror survival game

-        Awwww flashbacks to happy times

-        Omfg Butcher with the slicked back hair

-        Welp, Annie just killed a guy

-        Oh shit a baby seat

-        Annie is gonna have a bad case of the guilts now

-        Oh fuck ok Lamplighter killed the kids by accident

-        So Frenchie went to save his friend instead of tailing

-        Oh god that’s the penis isn’t it

-        Stormfront to the…rescue? Maybe? She’s gonna kill Lamplighter isn’t she

-        Oh, no ok she didn’t kill him

-        Aw no sad Butcher cause Hughie’s hurt

-        Oh nooooo Elena found a video from the plane

-        Mallory gon kill sad Lamplighter?

-        Stormfront is coming clean to Homelander? Whaaaa

-        She was buddies with the Nazis??? SHE WAS MARRIED TO THE VOUGHT FOUNDER GUY

-        Oh fuck the head burster is still alive

-        A montage of how Stormfront is brainwashing people into racist attacks, nice

-        I hate Annie’s mom so much

-        Black Noir has just fuckin LAMPED Annie

-        Butchers mum called him 😂😂

-        Oh shit his dad died

-        Why are Hughie and Lamplighter watching knock off supe porn

-        Oh boy a racist rally

-        Homelander just threw Annie under the bus

-        Hughie that’s a really weird pep talk

-        And he’s gonna get Lamplighter killed

-        BUTCHERS MUM IS ADORABLE

-        Oh shit it’s Denethor

-        And he’s not dead

-        Oh fuck he’s why Lenny died?

-        Shit Lenny shot himself

-        Butcher was SAS???

-        WHERE ARE MY PICS OF BUTCHER IN HIS ARMY UNIFORM

-        Ah fuck he’s bringing stepmommy Stormfront to meet the kid

-        I have an urge to run my fingers through Butchers beard

-        Frenchie and Kimiko are too cute she’s teaching him her sign language

-        Is this a cult birthday party?

-        Poor Eagle the Archer. He pissed off the cult so he’s gon be excommunicated

-        Uhhhh kiddo made a Lego film?

-        Good for him

-        I know it shouldn’t be sexy when Butcher starts threatening to brutally murder people in his growly voice, I know, but hear me out: sexy growly voice

-        11/10 would let Karl Urban murder me

-        Oh FUCK Lamplighter killed himself

-        Poor Hughie

-        Why do all the bad things happen to him, like having to saw off a dead guy’s hand with a broken whiskey decanter

-        Annie versus Black Noir, beat his/her ass girl!

-        HUGHIE COME SAVE YOUR ANNIE

-        YAY MAEVE

-        Black Noir has an almond allergy that’s such an off the wall weakness

-        Annie’s favourite chocolate bar saved her life

-        Well Maeve did, technically. But still

-        Omg Hughie accidentally saving Annie’s mom

-        Hughie and Annie are too cute

-        Oh shiiiiit Homelander screwed the pooch and showed the kid everything

-        HAHA SUCK IT BECCA

-        OH SHIT HEADS ARE BURSTING ALL OVER THE PLACE

-        Butcher in his lil jumper

-        For a non-American, this school safety psa video is supremely weird

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS CALLED BOB

-        BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURALS CHARACTER IS JUST BOBBY FROM SUPERNATURAL BUT FANCY

-        Annie’s mom critiquing her choice in boyfriends while in mortal danger is gas

-        And typical

-        The lads going nuts with weapons they’re so happy look at them

-        And Butcher in his lil jumper again he looks so comfy

-        I would very much like to cuddle him in the soft jumper and give him beard scritches

-        Annie ffs let Hughie enjoy his Billy Joel, that’s a good choice

-        Ahahaha Maeve just called Hughie a twink

-        She’s not wrong

-        Oh fuck off Becca

-        Uuuuugh OF COURSE Mr Edgar is in with the cult

-        Oop Atrain overheard all of that

-        Poor Ashley she’s going bald from stress

-        The kid is gonna have a meltdown

-        Poor Hughie with his mom leaving

-        I wonder if she’ll pop up at some point and turn out to be a supe that would be fun

-        ATRAIN YOU CAN’T JUST APPEAR IN A CAR LIKE THAT YOU COULDA KILLED SOMEONE

-        Hold the phone is Homelander actually being a good dad for a minute

-        What the actual fuck is Stormfront on with this white genocide shit

-        Ahahaha the news broke

-        Uh oh the Vought soldiers got caught by Homelander

-        OH SHIT

-        MM BETTER BE OK

-        Becca fuckin constantly squawking about Ryan is so annoying

-        WHY IS KIMIKO LAUGHING

-        It’s adorable but still

-        Oh FUCK she snapped her neck

-        She’ll be fine

-        She’s like a wolverine, snapped neck won’t keep her down

-        AYYYYY MAEVE

-        The lads just watching them kicking the shit out of her like uhhh

-        Oh hey Becca did something useful and stabbed the Nazi in the eye

-        Huh. The kid melted Stormfront

-        Good for him

-        AHAHAHA YES HE GOT BECCA TOO

-        BYEEEEE FELICIAAAAA

-        I mean yeah, heartbroken sad Butcher isn’t nice to see, but Becca sucked

-        Aaaand now Homelander covered in blood has arrived to listen to Stormfront babble in German

-        This is like in those scenes where it’s like oh who will the dog go to

-        Ayyy Atrain got back into the 7

-        Aww poor Kevin getting rejected again

-        See Kevin this is why we don’t join cults

-        Annie thought he was breaking up with her, girl don’t be daft

-        Butcher and the kid, not awkward at all

-        The one lesson Butcher can teach a kid – “don’t be a cunt”

-        Aww happy endings for all the boys

-        Aaaaand a “happy ending” for Homelander too by the looks of it

-        Oh ffs a corrupt politician in with the cult, what a surprise

-        HIS HEAD BURST

-        Wait the politician lady is the head burster? I’m so confused

-        Confusion may have been aided by it being almost 3am

-        Hughie getting a real job, bless him

-        Too bad it’s with the head burster

-        Oh this is such a good song to end the season with

-        Welp, now begins the long wait for season 3, I guess

-        Should I sleep or find fic to read

-        Body says sleep, heart says fic

-        That’s a lie, heart says Butcher

-        ….Butcher fics it is

[popculturebuffet]

Star Vs: Stump Day Review or The Why Are You Booing Tom He’s Right Holiday Special

Before we start a special credit to @jess-the-vampire​ who I discussed the episode with during the writing process and brought up a LOT of good points that ended up going into this review. She clearly hates it as much as I do and had even more good reasons for it.  Happy Hanukah, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays Everybody! And today we got a big, fat, grotesque lump of coal to smash to pieces. And after a long, draining, if worth the effort scrooge review, and with this being something I needed to cross off my to do list this holiday season, I put this one here as I could use the cathariss of giving this steaming bowl of elephant piss a good thrashing. As you can tell unlike my usual reviews, I do not like this episode. This isn’t the FIRST i’ve not liked i’ve covered, but it is the first rather infamous one to me i’ve covered and not just a dead possum of an episode I ran into while reguarly covering an otherwise good show like “Quaraller’s Pass” or “Strife of the Party”. This one’s had it coming, making my top 8 worst christmas specials list last year, and while not the series worst outing, that’s a toss up between the finale and marco jr, it’s easily one of them. So while usually I like diving deeply into something good and picking apart while it’s good, if not ignoring any bad aspects, here i’m just going to take a hammer to this thing to explain why it dosen’t work and why it sucks dirty ass in thunderstorms. I might be overstating it a bit but probably not.  Nothing really new has happened since the last episode so the only new thing to cover is why i’m doing the episode here instead of after Monster Bash. And the simple reason is that like the Ducktales Halloween and Christmas specials, this episode clearly does not take place in the same time frame of the episode before or after it, with the next episode, The Bog Beast of Bogabah, taking place the day after Monster Bash. It’s most likely they simply held this episode over till Christmas and it dosen’t really fit in AFTER the huge game changer that is monster bash, especailly since the next three episodes after this all take place in rapid sucession, two on the same day one the day after them. So yeah i’m doing this one first and putting it ahead of monster bash on my episode guide for clarity’s sake. 

Good, so with all that settled, let’s unwrap this complete works of pauly shore shall we? We open on the titular Stump Day, essentially mewni’s christmas complete with Cocoa, carols and a gay couple and their equally adorable child. And Star, unsuprisingly is giddy for it as the actual chlidren, and wearing an adorable santaesque dress complete with horns on her santa hat. Seriously you cannot tell me tom didn’t get that for her. Fucking precious. Marco is more just confused and has his hood up and one of Star’s cousins asks uncle river to tell him the origin of stump day. River’s response.. is easily the best joke of the episode. 

“(in a jolly tone) ha ha, you don’t tell me what to do”

He does so anyway though: Basically when settlers arrived on Mewni they found themselves cold and griping with each other, and soon found a blizzard had struck.. but by huddling together under a magic stump, they all learned to get along or something like that and now once a year everyone gathers in warmth and camraderie.. or else. Before Marco can understandably question what “or else” means in this context, Star butts in when one of her cousins chastises the younger one who asked river the question for beliviing and says he’s real. It’s a nice touch as it fits star perfectly to still belivie in mewni’s horrifying version of santa. I forgot just how adorable and likeable the character was before the final season shot that to hell. How her energy could be infectious and how Eden Sher really brought her all to the performance, which is still the performance of her career and hopefully like Rider Strong she’ll do more voice acting eventually.  So that night as Star tucks in after wonderful  night of sleep, and to avoid her dad’s usual drunken chorus of Tom Jones “Sex Bomb”, and gets woken up by Marco who leads her to the dining hall because a windows broken to fix it with magic. Star entirely buys this flimsy story.. but as Jess pointed out, and as I missed hence the credit up top... she dosen’t bring her wand. She.. dosen’t bring her wand.. to go fix something with magic. Now i’ll grant next season shows she CAN fully do magic without it, and while not as powerful like her mom still has plenty of punch behind it.. especially when she does the rainbow fist thing. But it’s still.. weird she dosen’t think to grab it and feels out of character. While Star’s learned by this point not to rely on it, and as we’ll see gives it up entirely, one of the few bits of her character development that actually sticks, it still seems resonable she’d take it with her wherever she goes.. and usually SHE DOES. And her jammies, which are also adorable, seem to have pockets so the animators had no reason to not just stuff it in one. It would’ve made their job harder yes.. but then don’t have marco use an excuse that directly requires it then and draws attention to the fact the wand is missing, and the fact you blatantly just hoped we’d forget about it as it’d ruin the climax. 

It’s far from the worst thing in this episode..trust me we’re almost there. But this does bring me to a point.. so far the episode is GOOD. The comedy’s good, the setup for what’s about to happen is good, the holdiay setting is warm and inviting but weird enough to perfectly fit mewni, and River, much like his VA and homosexual talking boat portrayer Alan Tudyuk, is a national treasure as always. Whelp it’s all down hill from here bitches! Giddyup. 

So Marco announces a SUPRISE PARTY! And everyone’s there: Tom, Kelly, Ponyhead, Starfan14... oh yeah this is the first ep i’ve coverd with Starfan14 isn’t it? Starfan14 is star’s insane fangirl, voiced by series creator Derfron Nercy herself, who star happily tolerates despite clearly wanting to wear her skin. We’ve all been there. Also Jackie is transparently missing, though at least it’s SOMEWHAT reasonable as she and marco broke up a few .. months ago? I mean it is winter on mewni for this episode but the end of season 4 and the series is set at the start of summer, yet months still pass..... 

Confusing timeline aside, Jackie has every reason not to attend a party thrown by her ex for the girl who confesed she had feelings for said ex and it’s probably the only good decision Marco makes this entire episode that he wisely decided to give Jackie some space. And it says something a decision made entirely off screen that was probably because the creators genuinely forgot Jackie once she was out of the way so they could shift the love triangle stuff to Tom, Star and Marco instead of you know.. not doing that because most love triangles are annoying at best and utterly insufferable at worst. Case in point this episode but I can give out more about this aspect of things in a bit with more context. 

And to his credit, and as Jess backed me up on, Marco’s gesture is genuinely throughtful.. at least to start with. He got her a choclate fountain, brought all of her friends, and geninely just thought Star never celebrated her birthday on her birthday because it was you know the same day as christmas. As someone whose birthday is a week before christmas, December 16th if you were curious, I understand the pain of having your birthday in the same month as christmas. Of having all your presents clustered at once and of having to manuver around a very stressful season, though it does sometimes have perks like getting to celebrate your birthday and christmas, it also means your birthday is secondary and always will be to most people due to proximity. And Star has hers ON mewman christmas, so it’s even worse. So from Marco’s perspective, TO START, his best friend constantly had to share her birthday with her faviorite holiday and just wanted to do something nice. SO FAR, he’s done nothing wrong and just means well. That’s... about to end.  Star.. instead of being greatful.. starts muttering no before going on an manic rampage and destroying everything including hte band’s insturments. And apparnetly star’s gotten some flack for her behavior.. but I understand it. To her the stump is VERY real, and will be very angry if someone else celebrates so to her all she’s doing is saving her best friend from the holiday equilvent of the trees from evil dead, and when Marco asks about it she GENUINELY is sorry, getting he meant well, that he was being sweet, and that he did a lot of nice stuff for her.. she just can’t celebrate not because she loves the holiday but because again, from her persepctive, the stump will kill them all if they don’t support it. She is genuinly affraid for her friends lives and given she could go grab her wand and fight it, clearly thinks she, with all her CONSIDERABLE powers, cannot win this, and neither can tom whose powers are almost entirely fire based. Star is just trying to protect her friends from being horribly murdered. And she turns out to be entirely right about it so no, star was not a jerk here. A bit over the top, but she was not insensitive, she was not mean, she just didn’t want a party for understandable reasons.

So let’s get to actually insensitive shall we?! Marco’s reaction to this is at first confusion as he didn’t realize the stump was real, though Tom, Kelly and Pony are convinced it’s not. Also this episode implies Kelly is from mewni, but she turns out not to be so why she knows about the stump I genuinely don’t know. They think it’s just a baby thing.. though in Tom’s defense he dosen’t phrase it that way, thinks star still beliving is cute, which for a teenage boy finding out his girlfriend belivies in santa is very sweet and mature of him, and is trying to be nice about it even if he doesn’t believe.  But Marco.. his response to his friend having a good reason for not wanting to have the party.. is to complain about how much effort he put into it and try to guilt and bribe her into having it by mentoining he got her faviorite cake flavor, rainbow. Just.. WOW. I’ve seen some bad turns from characters, but WOWWWWWW. Holy shit.. I mean at least other jerkass marco episodes before this had SOME reasoning to them. Sophmore Slump had him clearly sublimating his feelings for star combined with the usual obnoxiousness of someone having gone abroard for the first time, which as Letterkenny recently went into, the only thing worse is Stillborn Puppies. Nothing else. 

And with Lint Catcher while he was presumptive and not blameless.. river still outright lied to him. Here? It’s clear star dosen’t want this, cake can be refigirated, he only takes a loss on the choclate fountain and he could still just let everyone have some and say it’s for stump day to appease her. He dosen’t have to take a loss on this finacially or morally and there would be no harm done. But that’s.. not what HE wanted, not waht HE set up and he wants what HE wanted, which was to impress star with a thoughtful gesture. But that’s the thing bud: Gestures aren’t about you or what you get. Their about doint something nice for another fucking person. It’s the whole point of christmas and birthdays: To just give someone something to be ncie and to celebrate the day and them respectively. If she dosen’t WANT your gift for understandable reasons and isn’t being rude about it you don’t have any leg to stand on you seflish twatwaffle. 

So already Marco is not coming off well.. and if you know this episode you know it gets worse. Oh god it gets worse. So first PONYHEAD of all people calls out Marco.. and for once, PONYHEAD, the most selfish, most unresonable and a character whose tolerablity varies on the episode, tells him he’s being selfish and is only pressing on because of his need to control things. So not only is Ponyhead right but the episode LIKELY wants you to feel she’s wrong because she’s pony which is not how this work as she knows star well and thus, while unaware she still belivied in the stump, which tracks as while it’s obvious she does Pony is so up her own whatever she has that functions as an ass, it’s understandable she’d miss some details. So no Pony’s right, and the fact PONY is one of the more resonable people in this episode is both a sign of the apocalypse, which is thankfully starting to recede, and a clear marker of just how bad Marco’s being if someone who torments him and disagrees with him out of principal is entirely right. 

Oh but it gets worse as next up, Tom steps in and tries to get Marco to back out, admitting he told him this was a bad idea. Now granted Tom did mess up by not stepping in to stop this a bit.. but he A) didn’t know how much his girlfriend genuinely belivied in the stump and B) Probably assumed Marco meant well, as would I before he whined about not getting his way, and decided it was worth a try. So he’s not that bad, and while it is a bit ehhh to try and take back credit for this when he participated, it’s still minor and Marco is still being a huge dick who refuses to help shut things down when it’s clear the party is only causing star to have a panic attack and assault some humble marachi players. He sees nothing good is coming from this and just wants what star wants. Also it paints Marco in a worse light as he was warned about this, and was so obssed with making it a suprise party because that’s how his plan went, he refused to just.. talk to her about it. Hell he could’ve just casually asked “Why do you never celebrate your birthday on your birthday”. It’s an easy question, dosen’t give the game away and allows him to gage if this is a good idea or not BEFORE baking a cake , hiring a band and getting a chocolate fountain. Instead he just went ahead with it.  And he did so.. because this ISN’T about making Star happy. This is abotu HIM making star happy. Him showing her how thoughtful, and considerate and sweet he is and how he’s always been there for her and how maybe she should be with him instead of Tom. I mean it just comes off that way.. he made it a suprise party because in his head that’s how it worked and she was super impresed and left tom that day to be with him in some elaborate fantasy. Granted the episode dosen’t say this.. but it sure as hell acccidently implies hte hell out of it by having marco act like a selfish ass who refuses to take what STAR wants into consideration, and just wants to get his fantasy back on track. What supports this to me is how he treats tom, you know one of his best friends: He, again, accuses him of forgetting.. then calls him a bad boyfriend.. a bad boyfriend for NOT wanting to force a celebration on his girlfriend she does not want, and for not forcing it on her. For you know GROWING AS A PERSON.  Beacuse here’s the pickle pumpernickle: This thing Marco’s doing? Is exactly the kind of thing a pre-character development TOM did, that was rightfully framed as bad. Being controlling, wanting things to go JUST a certain way instead of letting them flow naturally, not getting the hint star isn’t intrested, and not caring about what she wants and only what you want. Marco is doing the same thing Tom used to do. And for starters i’ts already bad because you know MARCO WAS THE ONE WHO FINALLY GOT IT THROUGH TO TOM THAT THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR WAS TOXIC AND SELFISH. But apparently when it’s Marco himself doing it it’s fine. If there was ever any clear evidence Marco regressed as a character, there it is.  Him actively unelarning a lesson he taught someone else and then getting combative when that person rightly tries to call him out. Marco is just insufferable in this episode: He’s being selfish, creepy and posseive and he’s apparenlty supposed to, at least on some level BE RIGHT.  But.. we will get to that. Consider a pin put in this rant. 

So Tom overreacts, and throws some fire at marco, which is genuinely wrong and Kelly’s right to call him out, and then headlocks him asking marco to say he’s a good boyfriend. Marco screams out ‘NEVVVEEEERRRR”

I just made this, by hapinstance, while watching the video I put up there. I.. I did not think i’d get to use this so soon but my god. Just my god that’s a terrible thing to say.  So the party soon breaks down elsewhere as Kelly is mad at tom for.. understandable reasons again the guy she has a crush on was just nearly set on fire, even if i’m still on Tom’s side overall here, it’s still not right. Janna points out it’s probably because she has a crush on marco, which while acurate dosen’t mean she was wrong and Tad pops out to be upset about that. Even though you know you two are broken up and as Kelly points out he needs to move out. Pony is mad she’s not getting any attention and Starfan is mad because star’s mad. Star results to desperate measures, opening the windows to try and repeate the act of the settlers.  She didn’t however count on the Janna factor as she throws the stump in the fire, which is in chracter. What’s not, and again I give Jess full credit for this one, is that everyone just starts.. warming around the stump and not caring like a bunch of jackasses not caring about their close friend, and in tom’s case, girlfriend’s feelings. Also tom and marco apparently stopped fighting just to be this stupid. 

But naturally burning the symbolic stump is a bad idea and the real one attacks. Protip: If you live in a world of magical nonsense, maybe don’t discount the magic stump. Everyone’s captured, including moon and river, with River also being suprised and replying to Star’s annoyance at him not beliving with “Sweetie it’s a stump!”. Alan Tudyk is a god and I feel you all should acknowleddge that. But yeah everything seemsm to be bad but everyone apologizes, if not for the right things in Marco’s case, and Tom says “I’m sorry i’m a bad boyfriend!”. You .. you aren’t. You did nothing wrong. I feel like this is tom for the last agrivating 6 minutes of the episode

He did SOME THINGS wrong but he is NOT a bad boyfriend. He is throughtful, kind and while he has flaws, SO DOES STAR. He is not a bad boyfriend for not wanting to repeat past abusive actions! GAH. Let’s just get on with it. They all hold hands, they thiunk this is what made the stump go away but Star is sure it was just going to kill them, Moon and River have a thousand yard stare as they realize they both have to get repairs for this room now and do an extra big stump day next year to make sure it dosen’t come back. And Marco apologizes to star.. for not beliving her. Not for forcing this on her, not for causing all of this, not at all to tom, but for not beliving her while star FUCKING APOLOGIZES TO HIM.  Pin removed, bullshit falling to the floor... Trunks if you would. 

Thank you. Star DID NOTHING WRONG. Tom DID LESS WRONG THAN MARCO. WHY ARE THEY APOLOGIZING. Why is this little shithead getting everything he wants as the party happens after all, if a day later, and he gets to dance with star, while everyone else is painted as being in the wrong? That’s what makes this special so putrid: that MARCO is apparently in the right for doing the same , if on a smaller scale, manipulative shit tom used to do before he grew as a person, yet the episode sides with him, props him up and teases Starco. If it’s Starco it’s okay apparently and that’s.. not okay. You can’t .. build a ship on a character acting like a jackass. That’s not how this works. Marco was wrong, he was bad and he should FEEL bad. Instead he’s just a creepy jerk this entire episode, being entitled, manipulating star, screaming at tom.. and gets REWARDED FOR IT. Fuck this episode. 

FINAL THOUGHTS: I believe I said Fuck this episode.  This is easily one of star vs’ worst episode and much like the season after this episode it gets worse the more you think about it. I put it on my worst holiday episodes list for a reason.. and frankly even with the decent first 4 mintues it should be higher. It’s an unplesant mess that throughly ruins Marco’s character and takes him from a kind, upstanding, polite and bright young man to a creepy manpiulative jackasss. Fuck this episode and have a happy holidays. 

[yesloverboy]

She’s Thunderstorms (Billy Hargrove x Reader) Part 2

Part 1

SUMMARY: Despite the fact that you continue to reject his advances, Billy refuses to let you get away that easy. Halloween is approaching and, after a month of chasing after you, Billy decides it’s finally time to take matters into his own hands. 

word count: 4,242

[Warnings: swearing, smoking, mild kidnapping, smut in the future but none for now.]

NOTE: Wowee zowee, we’re back at it for the month y’all. I really wanted to finish the entirety of this series before Halloween but alas, life gets in the way. This series is a favorite of mine and, as always, let me know what you think!

tags: colsonbakersnoseringmain, @lululovesgwtw, @kingbouji3, @speedmetalqueen​, @billysgodcomplex​, @all-time-otaku​

 You stare down at the blank composition book in front of you, feeling as though you don’t recognize yourself. English is your favorite class of the day, but nothing could will the words out of your mind and onto the pulpy, white pages. You don’t dare even hold your pen for fear of writing Billy, Billy, Billy until it runs out of ink. 

 The last class of the day goes by in the blink of an eye. After your run-in with Billy, and about a thousand confused looks from Jonathan, you’re unable to focus on anything but the memory of Billy’s lips grazing your skin. Initially, you were infuriated by the way he touched you, but now your anger had twisted itself into something that felt a lot more like anxiety. That level of closeness stirred something inside of you toxic and volatile to the tough outer shell you’d spent all of your time cultivating. The threat of vulnerability leaves your skin burning red hot with irritation as a bitter taste settles onto your tongue. 

 The final bell lets out one last screech, and you reluctantly pull yourself from the safety of your desk, lagging behind the rush of sneakers and brightly colored backpacks that flood the halls. Your stomach churns uneasily with the knowledge that you inevitably have to pass by Billy’s steel blue Camaro before facing the walk home. As you trudge across the tiles and past the rows of lockers, your boots kick up piles of Carol’s neon orange flyers like dead autumn leaves.

 As you step out into the crispness of the afternoon, you fantasize about being able to waltz past Hargrove and go home to your trusty record collection. All you want is to be alone and return to your regularly scheduled programming of getting lost in your thoughts– yearning to focus on anything but the events of the afternoon. Unfortunately for you, Billy seems to have other plans. You feel his eyes burn into you as you walk in his general direction, trying to look as if you didn’t know he parked next to the school’s only exit every single day.

 “There’s my favorite girl!” Billy booms, ensuring that the entire parking lot can hear him, “Did you miss me?”

 Reluctantly, you stop and turn to face him, not wanting to give your peers a reason to stay behind and ogle at the two of you. “Well, distance makes the heart grow fonder and I assure you, Hargrove– it has not been long enough.”

 “Now baby,” he says, stepping in front of you with a patronizing stare, “don’t be like that.”

 “Is there any particular reason why you feel entitled to my attention, or were you just dropped on your head so many times that you can’t remember how much I don’t like you?” you snap, allowing the exhaustion of a long day get the better of you.

 In all honesty, you aren’t sure why you’re being so defensive. Typically, Hargrove’s antics were annoying at best, but something about the way his touch made you feel has put your smart mouth into overdrive.

 Billy winces a little and places the cigarette that was resting behind his ear in between his teeth. “Goddamn you’re mean,” he hisses, the flame of his lighter catching the end of the cigarette with a soft crackle.

 “Oh I’m mean?” a bitter laugh escapes your lips at the sheer ridiculousness of the concept, “I’ve literally seen your kid sister and her friends tremble at the sight of you– unless, of course, you expect me to believe you’re blind and stupid.”

 “Ouch, princess,” he tuts, clutching onto his muscular chest as if his heart were spilling onto the gravel at your feet, “All I want to do is take you to a movie or somethin’ and you’re still insisting on being a cold-hearted bitch.”

 “We’re dishing out compliments now, too, Hargrove? Please, don’t quit while you’re ahead.”

 Billy lets out a hearty laugh, shamelessly enamoured by your unrelenting wit and stubbornness. His sapphire eyes glisten in the afternoon light as he studies you, cigarette still dangling between his lips. Once the two of you had started bantering, most of the students decided waiting around to watch wasn’t worth the effort anymore. Now the lot is nearly empty, leaving only you, Billy, and the occasional after school club member passing through. 

 “Look,” Billy starts again, taking a wide step towards you, “what would it take to make you go out with me? Hmm?” 

 Refusing to be intimidated by Billy’s blatant disregard for personal space, you keep your feet firmly grounded to the spot. “Listen, Hargrove, I wouldn’t go to a movie with you even if you picked me up and dragged me there yourself.”

 Billy’s eyes flutter from your face to the ground, his thick eyebrows furrowed together in concentration. As he plucks the cigarette from his lips and tosses it to the ground, you think for a moment that maybe your words finally penetrated that thick skull of his.

 “Alright, princess,” he huffs, pausing momentarily to crack his knuckles, “have it your way.”

 Billy is crouched beneath you before you even get the chance to process his words, thick arms wrapping around your legs and tossing you over his shoulder as if you weighed nothing at all. The bookbag on your shoulders slides downward at the sudden motion, jamming the corner of your algebra textbook directly into the back of your skull.

 Squealing in aggravation, you begin to pound your fists into Billy’s back and thrash harshly against his grip. “Put me down you fucking psycho!”

 “What’s with all the whining, princess?” Billy tuts as he carries your squirming form around to the passenger side of his car, “I’m just doing what you said.”

 Billy tosses you in the passenger’s seat, smirk never faltering as he secures the child lock on the door. You hit the leather with a growl, tossing your bookbag somewhere in the backseat while frantically clamoring against the jammed door handle. Just as you feel the lock begin to give, Billy is already seated comfortably in the driver’s seat with his finger firmly pressed against the lock button by his window.

 You turn to Billy, blood boiling from the pit of your stomach as your face goes flush with a mixture of anger and disbelief. “This is kidnapping, Billy! You do know that, right?”

 “It’s not kidnapping if you told me to do it,” he states matter-of-factly. Billy turns the key in the ignition, the Camaro roaring to life with such ferocity that the engine’s rumble vibrates directly through the leather soles of your boots. As utterly insane as Billy is acting, you can’t stop the thrill of the moment from strangling your heart and chasing your pulse down to the tips of your fingers.

 Running a hand through your hair, you watch through the window as the last few stragglers of the day gape at the sight of you driving off with Billy Hargrove. “Well, at least there’s more than one person who saw me while I’m still alive,” you grumble, not caring whether or not Billy actually hears you.

 “Do you actually think that’s what this is?” Billy laughs, “That I’m going to kill you?”

 “It’s hard to say, Billy, considering I have no fucking clue why you even bother at all.”

 As Billy pulls out of the school’s parking lot and onto the main road, you can hear the faint sound of him chuckling under his breath.

 “Something funny?” you ask, the question leaving your lips in the form of a demand. Billy flexes his hand atop the steering wheel, shaking his head with an amused smirk tugging at his lips.

 “I was just thinking–”

“You? Thinking? Somebody alert the press,” you interject, unable to resist the opportunity of hassling Billy just a little bit more.

 “I was thinking,” he reiterates, raising his voice for emphasis, “that if I wanted to kill you, I most likely wouldn’t have literally dragged you into my car at the very last place that the both of us were last seen. Don’t you agree, princess?”

 It would appear that you have something of a brain after all. Congratulations!” you reply, taming your nervous energy by rifling through the cassette collection in Billy’s glove box. Your fingertips settle on Mötley Crüe’s, Shout at the Devil, tape and you feel the warmth of familiarity settling in your chest. The feelings you have for the boy next to you may be confusing, but your love for music still remains the same as it ever was.

Billy takes his gaze off the road for just a moment and bats his eyelashes at you knowingly. “Oh, but that’s not all I was thinking about.”

 You feed the tape inside of the stereo, quite literally tuning Billy out by cranking up the volume and rolling down your window. The biting chill of October floods the Camaro, ruddying your cheeks and moving in chills down the neck of your sweater. Houses become more sparse as rows of corn invade your view and, before you can ask Billy where the hell you’re headed, he’s already switching off the stereo.

 “Seriously, Hargrove? That was the only part of being kidnapped that I was actually enjoying.”

 “But that’s just it, baby,” he slaps your denim clad thigh playfully, “you didn’t call me Hargrove last time– you called me Billy.” 

 Despite the cold stream of air seeping in from the outside, your face flushes red hot at Billy’s observation. Billy has never been just Billy to you– no, he’s always Hargrove. First names are for friends and last names are for demands; however, Billy seems to exist somewhere in between. Although, that space in between seemed to be closing more and more with each passing second you spent with him– making you wonder what would’ve happened between the two of you if you hadn’t always been the one to walk away.

 “That, uh, is your name– isn’t it?” you flounder, awkwardly shifting in the passenger’s seat to fish a flattened carton of cigarettes from your back pocket.

 Billy passes his shiny silver lighter to you, and you find your hand instinctively accepting it without so much as a second thought. “I always knew you were the smartest girl in Hawkins,” Billy teases, his foot weighing down the gas pedal just a little more as the two of you speed even further into the countryside.

 “Where are we going in such a hurry, anyhow?” you huff, refusing to meet his arrogant smile with your cheeks still ablaze.

 “We’re going to see a movie, but we have to get there before it’s too dark.”

 “Why? The Starcourt Mall is back that way, and I’m pretty sure their theater doesn’t give a shit if it’s dark or not, doofus,” you retort, punctuating your insult with a few heavy puffs of your cigarette. You think that, if you’re lucky, you might be able to smoke your lungs into submission before you and Billy ever reach your destination.

 “Yeah well everyone in this garbage town knows that the drive-in is still way better than that commercial theater, doofus. Besides, they’re showing a movie I think you’ll really dig.”

 “How would you know if I’m gonna dig it or not?” ask, brow furrowing in confusion. 

 “Let’s just say our little birdy from earlier has an even bigger mouth than you thought, sweetheart.”

 You stare at Billy slack-jawed, unsure of what he’s talking about until your conversation with Carol suddenly comes into view. When she pulled you aside earlier that day you mentioned watching a bloody movie with Byers, but you have no idea how Billy could have possibly heard. As a matter of fact, when Carol pulled you aside, he hadn’t even stepped outside yet.  

 “But, Carol she didn’t–?” you utter, but are quickly stopped by the change in Billy’s demeanor.

 In an instant, the once confident Billy begins to squirm uncomfortably in the driver’s seat. His posture still radiates control, but the way that his eyes are suddenly trained on the road after fifteen minutes of glancing over at you tells a different story.

 Is Billy Hargrove embarrassed?

 “Wait,” you start, unable to contain the shit-eating grin that is now stretching across your face, “did you ask Carol about me?”

 “I, uh– may have run into her after free period, yeah,” Billy tugs at his golden curls, sharp jaw flexing in frustration as a touch of pink colors his cheeks.

 If there is one thing you know for sure about Billy Hargrove, it’s that he’s a smash and pass kind of guy. Every other girl he’d come into contact with since the dawn of puberty hadn’t meant a single, solitary thing to him. They were a notch on his bedpost– another babe for the body count.

 Billy didn’t ask about girl’s favorite movies or stalk them for weeks on end, but now he’s doing it for you. At first you thought he was bull-headed, blatantly refusing to be bested by the new girl on the block. But now– maybe, just maybe, Billy Hargrove is sweet on you after all.

 “So, you’re telling me that you, Billy Hargrove– the Billy Hargrove –asked Carol about what she thought would be a good date idea?” you giggle, the teasing tone in your voice almost sounding flattered.

 Billy grips the steering wheel with white knuckles, “Well who the fuck was I supposed to ask, princess? Byers? He isn’t exactly a talker.”

 “Oh sure, Hargrove, blame it on Jonathan,” you guffaw, unable to resist giving Billy’s free arm a gentle slap.

 With a cheshire grin, you move to prop your feet on the dashboard of the Camaro, eliciting a sharp swat on the ankles from Billy’s free hand. “You’re a handful, you know that?” he huffs, the butt of a burned out cigarette still trapped in his clenched teeth.

 “Don’t I know it,” you wink as you crank up this stereo once again, this time with no protest from your captor.

...

 During the remainder of your journey to the drive-in, you found out that you and Billy actually had far more in common than you were willing to give him credit for. A quick rifle through his tape collection showed that his taste in music was phenomenal. Mötley Crüe, Led Zeppelin, The Clash, Slayer, Metallica, Venom– he had it all. Granted, you were quick to inform him that he was missing out on the likes of The Runaways and Siouxsie and the Banshees, but there was always time to fix that. Assuming, that is, you actually wanted to see him after this.

 Shockingly, even the one book Billy could remember reading was one of your favorites. He was swift to credit his love for The Man in the Iron Mask on account of his mother reading it to him as a kid, but you could tell he was holding back. At the mention of his mother, your eyes couldn’t help but fixate on the way he gripped the gold pendant of Mary around his neck with white knuckles. You understand it’s probably best not to ask why.

 There’s a pain in your chest, knowing that his bravado is just a red-hot, candy coating for whatever he was hiding beneath. Much like a jawbreaker, Billy is sugary sweet and difficult to digest– but even hard candy has to melt. To your dismay, you realize you aren’t sure how many layers the kid’s got left.

 After a few moments of surprisingly comfortable silence, Billy makes a gentle left turn off of the main road and onto a side street that flanks the forest’s edge.  “Are we there yet?” you grumble, mostly to yourself.

 Billy huffs and attempts to light another cigarette, one hand on the wheel and the other clutching his boxy, silver lighter. “You’re real impatient, you know that?”

 “Tell me about it, stud,” you sneer, doing your best to mock Sandy’s sultry voice. “Remember what I said about dishing out compliments so early in the game, Billy.”

 “Yeah, yeah, yeah…” he mumbles, unable to conceal the impish smile that dances on his face the minute you utter his first name. While Billy is usually cocky and arrogant, there’s something about that smile he shares with you that almost makes him seem boyish– maybe even happy.

 For a moment, you think it might even be cute. The thought alone is enough to make you wrinkle your nose.

 Just as you’re about to make another quip about Billy secretly driving out into the middle of nowhere to murder you, the road turns to gravel and fans out into a clearing in the woods. The flattened landscape looks like it may have been a cornfield once, but had now become bulldozed and scorched to nothing long ago. There’s just enough space for several rows of cars to pack in tightly, with a sunny yellow concession stand tucked away in the corner. Overhead is a large projector screen, its white surface colored with an animation of personified movie snacks marching in a merry line. You had to give it to him, Billy found a hidden gem.

 “How did you even find this place?” you wonder, awestruck eyes dancing from the scene before you to Billy’s suntanned face.

 “Well, you know what they say sweetheart,” Billy smirks as he pulls up to the center of the second row, “all the best things on this planet are just outside of Hawkins.”

 “Duh,” you chide, immediately digging around Billy’s car for yet another cigarette to burn through. Finding Billy’s carton of Pall Malls in the cupholder you look up at him with pleading eyes, “May I?”

 “Anything for you princess,” he grins, “Speaking of, what kinda snacks does a girl like you get at the movies?”

 Lighting up one of Billy’s cigarettes, you take a pensive drag and kick your feet up on the dashboard. Giggling you watch Billy fight off the inevitable cringe that twists his smile at the sight of your dirty boots on his prized car. Surprisingly, he saves you the grief of delivering yet another dismissive smack to your legs.

 “Promise not to poison me?”

 Billy just rolls his eyes, “Promise not to be such a bitch?”

 You mouth falls open in mock surprise as you pretend to be offended, but Billy can see the smile that threatens to pull your face wide open. He just gives you a pointed look and throws a hand on his hip, making it more than apparent that he’s not backing down on this one. In his defense, you could kind of be a bitch sometimes.

 “Fine,” you concede, “I’ll take popcorn–Oh! And Twizzlers, if you can find them.”

 “Back in a flash,” Billy pulls himself out of the Camaro and dusts the nonexistent dust off of his jeans. Just as you think he’s about to leave you for the concession stand, he leans back in and places a firm peck on your cheek. The kiss is quick, but the impression of his lips burns a hole through your skin.

 With a noise of disgust, you push Billy away hard enough to make him smack his head against the interior roof of the Camaro. Feeling a blush betraying your face, you immediately began to rub your hands against where Billy made contact with your cheekbone.

 “Do you wanna get yourself killed, Hargrove?”

 “Worth it!” Billy laughs, a ring-clad hand rubbing the back of his head as he struts off to the concession booth.

 You stare at your boots on the dashboard, watching idly as the sun begins to lose its golden glow to the silvery dip of the horizon line. All the while you wonder about Billy and why it is exactly that he rubs you the wrong way so fiercely. Here you are, in a position that most girls at Hawkins High would only dream of, and yet you feel hesitant. It is almost as if you still don’t trust the fact that the most popular boy in this podunk town could actually like a girl like you. Or maybe, just maybe, you were afraid to let him.

 Billy returns shortly with a striped carton of popcorn and a plastic package of Twizzlers crinkling beneath the crook of his arm. “Well then, pretty girl” he sighs, bending down slightly to dip his head into the open drivers side window, “Why don’t we take this party to the hood of the car? I think I’ve got a blanket in the back.”

 After assessing the confused furrow in your brow, Billy continues, “Just think of it as my way of keeping good on my promise of ‘no funny stuff’.”

 “Oh he has thoughts and he’s considerate?” you feign a romantic sigh as you step out of the Camaro, pausing only to shove the glowing cherry of your cigarette into the decaying earth. “Remind my dad to write up the dowry, would ya?”

 Billy, all too accustomed to your jests, simply sets the snacks down on the hood and fishes a southwestern style quilt out of his backseat. The bright orange and yellow tones are in stark contrast with the gloomy midwestern sky, and you can’t help but wonder if this is another fragment of Billy’s old life. A life where there may have been far more to look forward to than a drive-in date with the only girl in town that can hardly stand the sight of him.

 After the blanket is spread out to Billy’s liking, he sits on the hood of his car and reclines backward so that he can better reach the popcorn as it rests against the windshield.  

 “Come on, now,” Billy smiles, pearly white teeth sinking into a handful of of bright yellow popcorn, “I don’t bite unless you want me to.”

 “Jesus Christ, Hargrove, give it a rest already. You’ve already got me here, there’s no reason to keep up the act.”

 Billy’s perfect brows knit together in mild aggravation at your accusatory tone, “Act? What fucking act?”

 “Please,” you insist, propping yourself up high enough on the car’s hood for your feet to dangle carelessly above the ground, “You’re human, Billy. I know you can’t be Casanova all the time.”

 Taking another fistful of popcorn from its carton, Billy points the candy striped box in your direction. It’s obvious that he doesn’t care to entertain your theory, but also doesn’t want to fight about it right now. You decide it’s enough and gladly oblige, taking a small pile of the buttery snack for yourself.

 “So,” you take a piece of popcorn between your fingers contemplatively, “what’s the flick called anyway?”

 “Fright Night,” Billy answers cooly. When he watches your eyes light up in unbridled excitement, Billy’s chest swells with a wave of pride.

 “You picked this out all on your own?” you scoff, knowing full well that, while Carol may have tipped him off, his informant would never have been able to make such a good film recommendation.

 Billy shrugs, “What can I say? You’re not the only one in Hawkins that likes heavy metal and horror, even if you try to be.”

 You launch the piece of popcorn you had been holding at Billy, watching triumphantly as it sticks to one of his sandy curls. “I guess that makes two of us, then.”

 Billy swats blindly at his hair and, for the first time, a genuine laugh bubbles up from his chest and hangs warmly in the chilled autumn. The flush of his cheeks is hot like an indian summer, and for a moment you swear that you’d never felt so warm. Biting your lip, you see something soft in the way that Billy averts his eyes from yours, fixating instead on the snacks in his lap and the vibrant colors of the blanket beneath your jean-clad thighs. For all the harassment you had endured since you moved to Hawkins, it’s nice to know him like this– for bits and pieces of the boy he is, not the man he’s pretending to be.

 It isn’t long before Billy’s gruff voice shakes you from your thoughts and brings you back to earth. “See something you like, space cadet?”

 “Oh please, if I ever–” you start, but are quickly interrupted by the sound of the film’s opening credits flashing blood red across the projector screen. Try as you may to shoot Billy an icy glare he melts right through it with a satisfied smirk, cocking a brow knowingly as if to say, I won this round.

 With an irritated huff, you scoot back towards the windshield to see the screen better, inevitably rubbing shoulders with King Billy in the process. Despite the fact that Billy could probably spare you some room on the car’s hood, he doesn’t move a muscle. Instead, his sapphire eyes remain trained on the screen in front of him, the flashing bursts of color glistening in his irises like an independence day sky. Your heart strangles out a nervous thump in your chest as a lump rises painfully to the back of your throat.

 Oh fuck, you think as your hands knit nervous circles through the sleeves of your sweater. You had your suspicions about the feelings you’d been experiencing around Billy lately, and chasing the movement of the film through Billy’s eyes rather than on screen told you everything you were afraid to hear– you like him.  

Masterlist

Part 3 (coming soon)

[kitcat992]

Endgame thoughts and emotions: A proper review

Yeah, I did the unthinkable today. I saw the movie for a second time. And in my defense, I did not want to. I laid in bed as my friend literally tried to pull me out of my blanket burrito and drag me to the movie theater. The issue is, he bought me a ticket and really wanted me to go with him for his first time showing. After much commotion, I dragged myself into a theater seat, pouted, and watched it for a second time.

I decided to try and find a silver lining in my misery: Now I can view the movie with a much clearer mindset, without the fog of fan excitement and the years worth of anticipation. Plus, it was a matinee showing, so I was sure the crowd would be a lot less rowdy and I would be able to really immerse myself in what was happening. And most of all, if I was going to bitch this much about the movie, I decided it was only fair I really give it a good watch.

So here I go: Thoughts and emotions the second time around.

Too long; didn’t read: It’s still shit.

Tony’s opening scene in the Benatar remains to be the best part of the film, along with his confrontation with the team, specifically Rogers. These moments are why the film started off so strong – we were receiving exactly what we waited for since Civil War. I repeat, we waited 3 years for Civil War to finally pay off. But it’s really pathetic that the only good parts of this film are the beginning, right before the 5 years later cue card.

Despite the amazing pay off from the fallout in Civil War and the incredible acting from RDJ during that confrontation scene, the pacing of the beginning STILL felt all sorts of weird. For starters, did Marvel just assume that every single movie-goer would watch Captain Marvel/Captain Marvel’s end credits scene?

Without that scene, without the whole “We found Fury’s beeper.” and “Where’s Fury?”, Captain Marvel’s entrance makes ZERO sense. And ya know what? Even after seeing the movie [Captain Marvel] it STILL makes zero sense. This is one of the many moments in the film that we’re left to assume. We’re left to assume that the team told Carol about Tony having flown to space to stop the doughnut ship, and we’re left to assume that she went and spent 3 weeks looking for him.

I was flooded with questions before the title card even rolled: When did they find Fury’s pager? And how did they find Fury’s pager? Were they just walking the streets and came across it, or did it have a GPS of sorts on it, or did it have an alert set to notify the compound in case of emergency? Did they tell Carol to go search for Tony or did Carol come across Tony on her own accord? How did they know Tony fought Thanos?? Tony even asks “Who told you that?” Well, who told him that? Did they receive the messages from his Iron Man helmet from when he was onboard the Benatar?

And let’s talk about Irondad&Spiderson moment that wrecked me – “I lost the kid.” Don’t get me wrong, this had me peeing my pants a little bit. But HOW did Steve know about “the kid”? His face says he knows, the way he reacted says he knows. Does he just know Spider-man is a kid, and he knew Spider-man went to space with Tony Stark, thus that’s the kid Tony refers to? Or did Steve also know about Peter before Civil War? Perhaps he was someone they both were planning to recruit, but Tony got to him first. How does he know about “the kid?”

That’s a lot of questions for the first, what, 10 minutes?

Immediately feeling the pacing so off balance in the movie this soon was incredibly troublesome. It only gets worse once they go off to kill Thanos. Because the moment Thor walks out of that hut, the movie takes a nose dive it never stood a chance to recover from.

5 years later.

Fuck that noise.

Okay, so the “5 years later” part didn’t bother me during my first watch. Because I so strongly (and naively) thought time-reversal was the end fate for this film. It was the only goddamn thing that made sense. But, to say the least, nothing following this cue card makes sense.

For starters, there’s just NO information given to the viewers about what happens from the fallout of The Decimation. So once again, we’re left to assume. Did the Avengers hold a press conference? Does the world now know about other universes and infinity stones and magic? Was Carol Danvers the one to explain that? Or Tony? Was the world angry with the Avengers for not stopping Thanos? Does the world even KNOW about Thanos? Does the world know what we the audience know or did the government sell them a lie? How about the Accords – did that dust away too, because we see Natasha handling business with the help of Nebula, Rocket, Rhodey and Carol.

But there’s not even a HINT of what civilians think or what they were told. We’re left to assume.

It turns out Steve’s little support-group-talk about “Some of us moving on” was actually a way for The Russo Brothers to completely erase his character development of the past handful of movies. Here we naively thought he was talking about moving on from the loss of Bucky and Sam and the other half of the universe…nope. All a ploy to remind the audience that despite the fact Steve Rogers said goodbye to Peggy Carter, buried her body, and began to live his own life in this new time and world, he still hadn’t moved on from the woman he loved for 21 months. Not only is this a giant slap in the face to Steve’s narrative, but he’s turned into a hypocrite by preaching “move on” without actually moving on himself. “Some of us move on…but not us.” is NOT a way to justify his actions at the end of this film.

I’ll say it now and here: I’m positively sick of Hollywood preaching that happy endings only come in the form of romantic relationships.

Natasha’s little spiel about family was sweet. I knew she was dead the moment she said it. My first viewing, I was okay with this. I actually felt a little touched, knowing that she got redemption from her red ledger by making the sacrifice for the family that she found. Upon my second viewing, I actually got pissed. Very pissed. Ya know why? Because Clint deserved to make that sacrifice. Nay, he needed to be the one to make it. But I’ll get there.

Paul Rudd’s acting for his reunion with Cassie was actually really touching. In fact, Scott Lang probably suffered the least amount of character-development-fuckery in this entire film. It probably helps that he was stuck in the quantum realm for 5 years instead of living with the others. I guest we’re just supposed to assume these characters changed over the course of 5 years, because they sure as hell aren’t acting like themselves.

*sigh* Tony…*bigger sigh* Morgan Stark. I know I’ve said it once before, if not multiple times already. I’m sorry for being a broken record. But Tony did not need to have a kid. She only served purpose to the narrative if time had been reversed. Perhaps Tony procreated with Pepper after Infinity War because he felt he needed to contribute to society and help get the universe back to how it was. Okay, I can flow with that. Even his insistence later on that they bring the dusted back but “keep everything from the past 5 years, at all cost” would play majestically into the ultimate sacrifice of losing his daughter for the other half of the universe to return. Watching these scenes [with his daughter] the first time around wasn’t as painful when I so naively thought time reversal would occur. My unbelievably intense opinion that Tony and Pepper did not need a kid keeps me from even remotely enjoying them now. Another thing Hollywood so wrongly assumes and pushes on audiences: If you’re a couple, you have to have a kid. Tony and Pepper were just fine without one and bringing a child into their story only prevented Tony from reversing time.

Also, the little girl who played Morgan was horribly directed. I know she was young, and I know kid actors aren’t great to begin with. But she mumbled all her lines and never looked anywhere but the ground. I will give credit to RDJ for playing the fantastic Irondad we all knew at heart he was, and I’ll treasure those moments with Peter in mind instead of Morgan.

But again, more questions arise from here. Steve, Natasha and Scott come to talk Tony into doing a time heist. The way Tony looks at them all…I can only assume he hasn’t spoken to them in years. But when? When did they all fall apart? Was it directly after he slammed his arc reactor/nano housing unit into Steve’s hand and passed out? Was it after the team told him, off camera, that Thanos was dead and the stones were gone? Have they kept in touch at all?

For the most part, Tony seems civil to them – “Table is set for 6, if you don’t talk shop you can stay for lunch.” and even pours them all drinks. But so much was left unsaid/off screen that I have no idea what’s gone on between these characters in the past 5 years. A cue card doesn’t tell me narrative. At this point in the film, I’ve already got a headache. I’m asking too many questions and getting so little answers.

I cannot even begin to express my utter disappointment in how they handled Professor Hulk. Even during my first viewing of this film, I had face palmed at this diner scene. Mark Ruffalo had a very well-thought out mini story in every Avengers film and even during Thor: Ragnarok. His struggle to control the Hulk, and Hulk’s distaste for Banner, all led up to Professor Hulk. How Banner described him is exactly how he was supposed to be – brains and brawns, the best of both worlds.

He was instead used for jokes. And lets be honest, he just looked weird. He acted weird, he looked weird, and every time he had a moment on screen I was just uncomfortable. So uncomfortable. I loved Ruffalo’s performance of Bruce Banner and all that just went away with this film. I don’t even like to think of Bruce Banner in this movie. Science Bros went away, his dynamic with the team went away, so much went away.

It felt like watching an alternate universe Avengers at this point, it really did.

Tony’s desire to get Peter back saved the universe: That is fact, that is canon. He was adamantly against time travel until he saw that photo and then BAM, he figures it out. I will take joy in this moment, despite wanting it to be something else. I really wanted this to be a grieving moment, I really wanted him to be at May’s place (who be are left to assume got dusted) or at a makeshift funeral/memorial or something. I’m happy to have gotten this scene, I really am. But I also feel empty from it. Perhaps that’s because so much is left unsaid that we’re left to assume the nature of Peter and Tony’s relationship since Homecoming.

So again, I get my hopes up for this time reversal that never pans out. Tony  has a conversation with Pepper about how he figured out the time travel nonsense, but he could put a pin in it immediately and forget all about it. Pepper, softly and a little heart broken, said he wouldn’t be able to rest if he did. In my honest opinion, that was Pepper telling Tony “I don’t want to lose what we have…but so many others lost so much more. We can try this again. We can have a second chance.” That, to me, was Pepper accepting the possibility of time being reversed to 2018 and losing Morgan and their cabin and all they had done in the past 5 years. In that moment, she accepted that. She gave him her blessing.

This made sense to me, this made sense to the narrative. Because this would leave Tony with a heart breaking choice of choosing the universe over his daughter. But he would, because that would be his ultimate sacrifice. One last sacrifice, to quote his movie poster. He’d be absolutely heart broken but he would know that his loss was nothing compared to all those who were dusted, all those who lost their lives by the dusted (falling air crafts, ect) and all those who took their lives due to the grief. He’d make that decision. And we’d go back to 2018 where time would be restored to how it was. If the writers really wanted to keep the Morgan nonsense, they could have even give him a happy ending by Pepper announcing she’s pregnant in 2018, showing that he’ll still have Morgan and his happy life.

Ultimately, this is not what pans out. Things only get worse from here.

Tony returns to the team, who failed at managing time travel with Scott due to lacking a time-travel-GPS. I’m not even touching that scene, it’s just sorta pointless and there were pee jokes and…yeah. Tony invents this time gps and agrees to help them, so long as nothing changes from the past 5 years. He gifts Steve a new shield, admitting that resentment is corrosive.

So…I’m left to assume he and the team really did split ways after his return from space. I mean, it’s a sweet moment….but I’m also left to assume what the shield is made out of. Is it Vibranium? Does that mean Thanos’ sword can cut through Vibranium, as it goes on to cut through his shield during the final battle?

A throw away line here was vital and never received. Steve’s shield was widely known for being made from the strongest metal in the world, and if you’re going to recreate it, you need to establish if it’s made of the same material. A simple “You better not toss that around like a Frisbee all the damn time, it’s not made of the worlds strongest metal, ya know.” or “It cost me an arm and leg to get some of that glorious Vibranium from Wakanda. Be careful with that thing.” And all you’d have to do to make time for this one throw away line would be cut one of the many unnecessary childish jokes in the movie, or reduce the “Nah, take a picture with him, ‘cmon!” scene from like, a solid minute to 30 seconds.

Its small things like this sprinkled throughout the entire film that goes to shine a light on how awful the script really was.

They decide to get the team back together, which includes Rhodey, Rocket and Nebula. And Thor.

Pour one out for Thor. He ain’t dead, but his character development sure as hell is.

My anger with Marvel, the MCU, Kevin Feige and The Russo Brothers stands to be for so many reasons, but this one might just take the cake. Once all of my anger dissipates from bad writing, the destruction of character development, the immature jokes – this will be the one thing that remains. I will never forgive any of the parties involved for turning Thor’s clear-as-day PTSD into a fat joke. Thor became a depressed, traumatized alcoholic.That is NOT something to make light of, and yet at every corner there was a joke for him.

His one serious moment – when Professor Hulk mentioned Thanos’ name and he was so clearly triggered into a state of emotional distress – was laughed off by Rocket telling him they had beer on the ship. So not only was his depression laughed at with the fat jokes, but his alcoholism was turned into jokes as well. As someone who grew up with an abusive alcoholic father, I cannot condone this type of humor, especially for young children. There are some things you just do not make fun of.

I wrongly trusted Marvel to be able to handle mental health issues with grace and dignity, as seen in Iron Man 3. They did more than drop the ball on this. They played skee ball with it.

Oh, and Hawkeye is now Ronin (was his name actually said, though? I guess we’re left to assume again) and he’s been murdering a shitton of people. Natasha finds him, says a sad line about “not being able to give hope sooner” and recruits him. So that’s cool, I guess. Problem is no one cared about his family to begin with and they still sorta don’t. But, yeah…everyone bring the murderer onboard. Cool. It’s sorta telling the audience (which includes kids) that its okay to murder as long as you actively kill bad guys, but yeah, whatever.

Now, things have been bad up to this point. Very bad. But it just gets so much uglier from here. The team discuss Time Travel and try to tell the audience how it REALLY works in their universe – by dismissing the notion of “you mess with the past, you mess with your future” theory all movies tend to have. This is essentially the butterfly effect and its really the only way to go about time travel.

But they couldn’t do that, because then we couldn’t have the time travel shenanigans that follow. And honestly, I’ve seen a LOT of things with time travel, and their explanation still doesn’t make sense. “You can’t change the past, only your present, which then becomes your past.” Whatever, Russo Brothers. You’re just trying to pass off a shitty time travel plot without actually caring about it.

Clint does a trial run of time travel, it works, and then they go about figuring out where the stones were so they can travel back to get them. None of this was entertaining. Rocket calling Scott a puppy fell flat, for starters. Thor having an obviously distressful triggered moment recalling his mother and Jane was painful to watch and equally painfully to hear the audience howl in laughter from it. It was nice to see a 15 second shot of Tony, Natasha and Bruce laying against each other, surrounded by books as they try to figure things out but these type of brief, fleeting moments were why I was so found-family-trope baited in the first place. 4 movies too late, MCU.

Also, Nebula tells them clear as day that Vomir is a place of death and Thanos went and came back without his sister, to which Scott jokes “Not it.” So SERIOUSLY, Nat and Clint knew something was up before they even went. Dick move to whoever sent them there.

Time travel shenanigans from here. They split into teams and go to their past locations where everyone fucks up everything in every timeline, but there are no consequences because the narrative established “you can’t change the past”

Listen, I do not even WANT to try and understand this. I don’t. It’s why I don’t mess with TheFlashTV anymore. Professor Hulk goes to get the time stone but The Ancient One won’t give it to him and they have this long drawn out discussion about how if the team doesn’t return the stones, her new timeline/reality is doomed. So Bruce’s astral form promises to bring them back and he tells her Strange gave it up willing and she gives it to him and…*sigh* Again, the Russo Brothers using cheap lines to try and explain their shitty use of time travel. This scene exists solely for Steve Rogers. It gives him his reason to travel to the past at the end and return all the stones to their rightful place (and, as it will later be discussed, say Fuck You to everyone in the year 2023.) That’s all this scene is here for.

Loki got away with the space stone/tessract, Thor gets to talk with his mother while Rocket grabs the reality stone, Nebula somehow connected with past Nebula’s harddrive and Thanos got to see her memories and Clint and Natasha did a little remake of the Thanos and Garmora sacrifice from Infinity War. To make matters even WORSE, because Loki got away with the space stone, Steve and Tony have to travel to 1970, to the SHIELD bunker seen in The Winter Soldier and where the space stone/tessract is being kept, as well as grab some additional Pym Particles on the way since they didn’t have enough for the additional jump.

This entire scene is garbage. Tony runs into a young Howard Stark. And I guess because Tony’s a dad now, he goes on to forgive his own dad for abusing him. As a child of abuse, fuck that noise. Howard is made out to be a man with good intentions and Tony even hugs him before he travels back.

It’s like the Russo Brothers wanted to write Tony having everything he ever wanted (a family, a kid, closure with his father) before they killed him off. This scene served nothing to the movie, nothing to Tony’s narrative and really sent a harsh message to victims of parental abuse. The mix messages with Howard along the way of the MCU films are so flawed I cannot even begin to describe them here.

Oh, and Steve runs into Peggy’s office where he stares at her from afar. This is the Russo Brothers once again shoving down the agenda that Steve Rogers needs to be with Peggy Carter if he’s to be happy. Despite having said his goodbye and having buried her body, he’s still hung up on the woman he knew for 21 months over 16someyears ago since coming out of the ice. So we get that.

Rhodey and Nebula grab the power stone. Rhodey spends like, 1 minute talking about the temple being boobytrapped only for them to walk into it fine. Not sure what that dialogue was there for. Nebula burns her hand off getting the power stone, they go to travel back but 2014 Thanos links with 2023 Nebula’s mind harddrive and accesses her memories and discovers the future and…yeah, I’m just not even in the mood to explain this. Nebula was kept around as a plot device. It’s a real shame to see her character reduced to that. Also, jumping way ahead here — someone seriously needs to explain to me how she still exists after killing her past self. I need that explanation like whoa.

Thor’s conversation with his mother about “being who he’s meant to be, not who he’s supposed to be” would have been more touching if the fat jokes weren’t tossed in every other line. He legit had a panic attack, even SAYS “I think I’m having a panic attack.” and how do the writers go about this serious mental health issue? By having Rocket slap him.

I was sitting near a middle-aged man who howled SO loudly with laughter at this, it reminded me of how people laughed at the 3 stooges. Way to go with that one, Marvel.

I think that about sums up the time travel shenanigans. While it was fun to watch the 2012 Battle of New York from a different perspective, everything just got so royally fucked up that my headache was turning into a migraine at this point in the film. But again, it doesn’t matter. Time travel in this movie is explained as “You can’t mess things up. You can’t change the past.”

But wait. The best is yet to come. Our first death of the movie. It’s bad enough that Natasha died instead of Clint, but to have her death be such a blatant rip off of the Thanos and Garmora scene in Infinity War is a real slap in the face.  All the way down to the usage of the same score music. Why? That only made the scene less emotional and moreso, took away from the impact of the Thanos and Garmora scene in Infinity War. The entire time, I felt like I was watching a fanfic with that scene. Among many others.

Clint deserved/needed to die instead. I get that they “battled it out” to be the one to jump, and he wanted to be the one to die – I get it. But that’s just…sorta not good enough. Because the writers wrote all that in when it didn’t need to happen. For starters, the entire fight over who jumped was drawn out and quiet frankly, hilarious. Sure, it showed a bit of their personalities and what friendship they had, but it ended up laughable. Maybe that’s because everything leading up to this felt like such a joke as well that I couldn’t take any of it seriously.

Regardless, while I’m not nearly as angry at Natasha’s death as I am Tony’s, I still strongly believe Clint should have been the one. Otherwise, the message I walked away with is: It’s okay to go on a murdering spree when you’re feeling hurt and bummed out, as long as you say sorry for it and try to take the spot of sacrificing your life. 

I would say that Marvel didn’t want to kill off a “family man” with Clint, as he had his family and kids, but Tony had that at this point as well. I feel they killed Natasha off because they didn’t know what else to do with her, as so clearly evident in her other films. She had no direction with these movies, no real character arc to go off of, and even with her solo movie in the works (an obvious prequel) she was sort of an empty slate waiting for her story to be told. Marvel never used her properly, never really took advantage of her, and at one point even gave her a relationship that did NOT need to be [Brutasha] because they were so clueless as to what to do with the only female Avenger. (Which means she HAS to have a love interest, right? RIGHT? God, Hollywood sucks with females)

They return to 2023 with all their stones and without Natasha. There’s a 1 minute grieving scene where Professor Hulk throws a bench in the lake and Steve blinks a tear and that’s…it. I mean, christ, don’t dedicate another second  longer to the poor woman, we couldn’t have that. Gotta make room for all those fat jokes. /s

They put the stones into Tony’s nano gauntlet and fight over who should put the gauntlet on – Professor Hulk wins. He says some shit that’s pulled straight out of his ass about gamma and how much gamma is surrounding the glove and that only he can handle it because Hulk is gamma. “It’s like I was made for this.”

Okay, whatever. Seriously, all this is so out of nowhere that I can’t muster the strength to care. A universe that always relied on collective narrative and plots weaved throughout movies is just pulling shit straight out of their asses at this point and I’m supposed to eat it. Please just snap your fingers and reverse time to 2018, Professor Hulk. That’s all I’m waiting for.

Tony once again says DO NOT lose the past 5 years and I guess the stones work off of what you’re thinking (ie: why they won’t let Thor do it, he’s too much of a mental mess) so Bruce…thinks about the dusted and snaps and…yeah. The dusted are back. A bit anticlimactic.

This also raises SO many questions about so many other things…what about those that got dusted in crashing airplanes? Are they just falling from the sky now?  People who were in boats that are no longer there, or in trains, or cars? What if they were dusted where a wall is now built? Are they morphed into the wall? Not to mention, bringing the dusted back in the year 2023, 5 years from when they were dusted…the legal problems that will occur. What if you had an apartment and someone is living there now? Where’s your stuff? What if your spouse married another person? Not to mention, what if your loved ones who survived The Decimation committed suicide in grief?

What about all that life insurance that was dished out?

None of this is explained. I doubt any of it ever will be. As the audience, I am once again left to assume.

So anyway, cue final battle scene. Thanks to time travel fuckery, 2014 Thanos is in 2023 and he bombs the shit out of the compound and it’s all CGI action from this point forward.

I mean, the fight was pretty cool. It was just…it was a lot of CGI, and to be honest, it was dark. Like, hard to see kind of dark. I get the tone and atmosphere they were going for, but one of the reasons I loved the Wakanda battle scene in Infinity War so much is because it was during the daylight. Even the battle of Titan was bright. Again, I get the tone they were going for, but I had a lot of trouble seeing what was going on, and it was a lot at once.

The OG 3 fight Thanos alone at first, which was cool. They all get their asses handed to them and Steve’s the one left to try and finish him off, solo, when Doctor Strange opens portals around the universe and brings all the dusted and army’s to the fight. I’d like to say I felt the same excitement watching this the second time around as I did the first, but I just…didn’t. Knowing the ending of this movie robbed a lot of initial joyful moments and if you ask me, a movie shouldn’t do that.

Also, yes, the fanservice moments exist. Steve lifts Mjolnir and says Avengers Assemble. I’m sorry, that’s not enough for me to forgive the mess of this movie.

A few pairs have their reunion scattered along the battlefield. I absolutely adored Peter and Tony’s, though I remained vastly uncomfortable that Peter was suddenly 5 years in the future and even addresses it as much. “And then Doctor Strange said you gotta hurry, it’s been 5 years!” Like…again, if this was reversed, that’s fine. But friggin hell. At this moment he doesn’t even remember turning to dust and how much pain he was in. Simply “Remember when I got all dusty? I must have passed out.” They hug though, so at the end of this shitshow at least the Irondad&Spiderson fanbase got their hug.

Rocket and Groot exchange a look and say nothing.

Fucking Steve and Bucky don’t even talk or see each other in battle. Probably because the Russo Brothers reallllyyy wanted to push that Steve/Peggy agenda and not remind anyone of Stucky. I look back on my complaints about the Irondad&Spiderson in this movie and take my grateful’s that we got the hug, because the poor Stucky fanbase got friggin robbed.

So again, big giant CGI battle fest. At one point they’re playing Hot Potato with the gauntlet trying to keep it away from Thanos and get it to Scotts van. I will admit, seeing Peter get like, 11 moms all at once was badass. Though it broke my heart to see him curled up in a tight ball holding the gauntlet like that…boy gunna have some real PTSD that Far From Home will likely brush off with more jokes disregarding and disrespecting the seriousness behind mental health and trauma.

I legit forgot about Captain Marvel until the moment she showed up.

I repeat: I legit forgot about Captain Marvel until the moment she showed up.

I know this moment had a LOT of characters to balance, but christ. If the writers can’t handle multiple characters with grace, they shouldn’t be handling multiple characters to begin with. Most were in this battle scene for the sake of showing their face. I mean, did Mantis even fight? So much was going on I couldn’t see past the center focus.

And I know a LOT of people complained that they didn’t want Captain Marvel to be the one that saves the day, but honestly, she would have been the better fit.

Tony making the final snap was done for shock factor. I stand by it. The narrative called for Steve Rogers to lay down his life in a blaze of glory, and because people predicted that – which is NOT a bad thing! It just means you’re telling your story well! – they took a hard left. Steve Rogers was a man out of his time, and his narrative told us time and time again he struggled with his life without a war. He needed the fight, that was his purpose. And his purpose should have ended with that final snap.

Instead, because movies want to be edgy and unpredictable, they ruined the narrative of Tony Stark and the final snap kills him. It’s horrific to watch. His last audible words are “I am Iron Man” and his last mumbled words are “Hey, babe” to Pepper. He gurgles blood out of his mouth, his brain is melting from the sheer power of the stones, Peter legit just sobs over him and he dies after Pepper feeds him some poetic, flowery shit about “You can rest now.”

This would be an immensely touching moment if it weren’t telling the audience that death is rest and the only way Tony could rest is if he died. First and foremost, I’m sorry, I do not consider death to be rest. Death is the end of existence. And Tony Stark had plenty of opportunities to rest without death. But the Russo Brothers decided 5 years of happiness was enough for him (when honestly, was it truly happiness? We all know he was harboring guilt from the Decimation and still mourning Peter) so they gave him those 5 years and then killed him off.

Between Thor, Natasha, and Tony, the MCU has taken society’s fight against the stigma on mental health back like, 25 years. Their answer to those who have mental trauma is to make fat jokes or kill them because that’s the only way they’ll be at peace. I guess this means Spidey is next, because there’s no way a 17 year old teenager is walking way from that without some serious PTSD.

Just by watching it I have PTSD.

I’m just not even touching this one in full extent. I’m sure other people will say it better than me and already have. All I will say is this: The past 11 years of film and subsequently the collective narrative told over the course of 22 films created a purpose for each of these two characters — Tony Stark struggled to move on from the fight, to truly let go of being Iron Man and retire. Steve Rogers struggled with his place in the world, moving on from Peggy Carter and finding purpose in fighting the battles that needed won.

Tony Stark deserved an ending of retirement, or even semi-retirement, perhaps taking on an advisory role at Shield. It would show the audience that sometimes you shouldn’t fight what feels natural within yourself, and Tony had a natural urge to be involved in this superhero life. He still could be, from afar, like a new Nick Fury.

And Steve Rogers, a man out of his time, deserved to win that battle in the blaze of glory, laying down his life for the other half of the universe. I really can’t believe I’m saying this, but I feel cheated for not seeing his death.

The Russo Brothers got this wrong. And shame one everyone who supported them along the way. These character’s had arcs established for many films prior to this and with a “5 Years Later” cue card all that just goes out the window.

Tony’s funeral exists solely for the purpose of doing a slow pan shot of a ton of faces standing around somberly. As an Irondad&Spiderson fan, it hurt to see Peter directly behind Pepper, Rhodey, Steve and Happy. May looked to be the same age/not aged up so I have to assume she got dusted as well. And since I’m being honest here: I know a lot of people fawn over Harley and Tony, but him being there made little to no sense to me. Plus, 95% of the audience didn’t even know who he was.

But again, this scene exists solely so we can show a bunch of big name faces at once, the big “group shot” that’s been spoken about so much during the hype of this movie. Even General Ross is there, the little fucker.

And to be even more of a bitter little sarcastic ass — the sailing away of his first arc reactor was sweet, truly, it was. But I look at that lake surrounding their cabin and think…it’s just gunna float around out there, making it’s laps around the cabin. I’d hate to be Pepper, waking up one morning and seeing it near the front porch. Unless they go and collect it once everyone leaves…I dunno, fuck, I just don’t even like thinking about this part of the film. It all played out like so much fanfiction I’ve read waiting for this movie. This just wasn’t supposed to be the movies ending, I really can’t say that enough.

Clint and Wanda have a moment that, I suppose, is there to tell us they’re grieving over Nat and Vision. It all felt like cheap throw away lines. Natasha deserved so much more than that, and hell, so did Vision. And hell, so did half of Asgard, and Loki, and all the people who died because of The Decimation.

But it’s okay. Steve’s going to return the stones back to their proper timelines, as promised to The Ancient One, and with that opportunity of time travel he’s going to give the middle finger to the remaining team members he has by staying back in time and “living some of that life Tony told him to get.” How, you ask? By using his other hand to give his other middle finger to the life Peggy Carter established long after him, with a husband and children and a career at SHIELD, so he can marry her.

😑

Imma be honest, when I first watched this movie, it was the cheeseburger line that really broke me. Up til that very moment, I held strong. I ignored all the shitty jokes, the shitty unraveling of character development, the shitty use of time travel, the shitty death of Tony Stark – I ignored it all. For some reason, the cringey-as-fuck “Your father liked cheeseburgers. I’ll get you all the cheeseburgers you want.” line just broke me. It read so much like badly written fanfiction that to sound like the obnoxious white girl I am, I couldn’t even anymore.

But once this scene hit, I was done. This was my “Nah, fuck this movie.” moment. This was my “I absolutely do not accept this” moment. This was when I walked out of the theaters, not waiting for an end credit scene that didn’t even exists anyway, or the credits of all the actors who’ve been in the MCU since 2008. I walked out the moment that dance ended, furious. And honestly, sticking around for that montage the second time around was rough. The anger hadn’t gone away yet.

So, to sum up? Avengers: Endgame played out like a fans poorly written, rushed, badly scripted fanfiction. But that fan had only watched Infinity War and read a couple of fanfictions afterward to get the gist on how to even write in the first place.

I’ve defended the MCU up until this moment. I know a lot of people jumped ship after Civil War; clearly the Russo Brothers were doing something wrong then. But they absolutely destroyed the universe with this movie to the likes that I’ve personally never seen before. What should have been a proper send off for characters (death or no death) ended up being a laughable joke of bad script writing, poor treatment to characters who had been around for a decade, and an idiotic usage of time travel.

Doctor Strange saw 14 million futures. In my head, Endgame was merely one of their lost battles. In my head, I have disowned this movie from the franchise. And while I will always be a Marvel fan, I’m likely done with the MCU moving forward in this odd universe of 2023. It’s just sad that I have to say goodbye with such a bitter taste in my mouth.

Thankfully, that’s what fannon and fandom is for.

[lesbian-deadpool]

Tony, His Adopted Blue Murder Child, And Co.

Tony has created a chat.

Tony has renamed the chat: Fuck Space. Fuck This Shit. I Want Pizza.

Tony: All byyyyyy myyyyy seeeeelf.

Tony: Don't wanna be.

Tony: All byyyyyyyy myyyyyyy seeeeeeelf!

Nebula has joined the chat.

Tony: Tf? Leave me alone to my suffering.

Nebula: Bitch make me.

Tony: Okay, Smurfette fite me.

Nebula: Nah, can't be bothered.

Nebula: Come over here and let me shoot you.

Tony: Don't wanna walk.

Tony: Messing with this ship has exhausted me.

Nebula: Fuck that cable...

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade: I don't think I need to elaborate on that.

Wade has left the chat.

Nebula: What? Who was that?

Tony: I have absolutely no clue.

Nebula: Anyway... how long till we touch solid ground again?

Tony: Please refer to my previous answer.

Nebula: Well ain't you just 190lbs of sarcasm.

Tony: Hey! This body is a tight 171lbs.

Tony: But you're right, the majority of it is sarcasm, yes.

Nebula: And what's the rest of it?

Tony: Trauma.

Nebula: Well, I'm sorry, but I can't help you with that.

Tony: Peter used to help me.

Nebula: With your trauma??

Tony: Peter told me he was sorry.

Nebula: What?

Tony: Peter used to say that.

Nebula: Okay...

Tony: Peter used to say that, too!

Nebula: Are you crying?

Tony: Fuck no. Tony Stark doesn't cry for anybody. You can thank my abusive father for that :)

Nebula: I know how you feel.

Nebula: We both have bad fathers.

Nebula: Thanos will breathe his last breath soon enough. Then your son will be avenged.

Tony: PETER USED TO BREATH!

Nebula: Tf?

Nebula: Seriously, stop crying.

Tony: I'm not crying.

Nebula: Then what's that coming out of your eyes?

Tony: Oh, this?

Tony: This is just some depression leaking from my eyes. It's a natural occurrence.

Nebula: ... so, crying?

Tony: HOW DO YOU KNOW?

Nebula: I can see you dude, you're bawling your fucking eyes out.

Tony: SHUT UP.

Nebula: Hey, now you can drink your tears!

Tony: I'M NOT CRYING. I told you, it's liquid depression!

Nebula: Ffs.

Nebula has renamed the chat: Drink your tears, Tony.

Tony has renamed the chat: Go fuck yourself, Nebula.

Nebula has renamed the chat: Drink your liquid depression, Tony.

Tony: That's more like it, thank you.

Nebula: Are all humans like this?

Tony: Only the ones with issues.

Tony: So yes.

Nebula: What a race.

Tony: You can't tell me you've never cried.

Nebula: When I was a child. Before Thanos removed my ability to cry, along with most of my body parts, and organs, replacing them with metal.

Tony: ...

Tony: You're my child now.

Tony: I'm signing your adoption papers. You're legally my child now.

Tony: I've always wanted a daughter.

Tony: You will be safe with me. I promise.

Nebula: ... that was really sweet, and I don't know how to reply to that.

Tony: My God, you are my daughter.

Tony: Don't worry, I will give you the fatherly love you deserve.

Nebula: Your son was so lucky.

Tony: Wait, son? Huh?

Nebula: Yes. That little spider child.

Tony: Peter?

Nebula: Yeah, that one.

Tony: Peter wasn't my son.

Nebula: He wasn't?

Tony: No.

Tony: Yes, I loved him like he was my son. Tried to guide him with what fatherly wisdom I may have. I tried to protect him with my heart and soul. Was proud of every-single-thing he did. Went to every special event he had. He won his high school decathlon you know. He's so smart. And special. I was lucky to have someone so happy in my life. OMG, I miss him so much. Come back, my son!

Tony: So, yeah. Not my son at all.

Nebula: Right... whatever you say...

Tony: Oh my, I almost forgot I was so excited. Consent is key.

Tony: Would you like to be my daughter?

Nebula: Aren't I a little too old to get adopted?

Tony: Idc.

Tony: ???

Nebula: .............. yespleaseIwouldlovethatverymuch............

Tony: Alrighty then. You are my child. I love you, daughter.

Tony: Don't worry. I'll teach you what love is. Me and my to be wife, Pepper. She's your mom now. If she's still alive, that is...

Nebula: Thank you.

Tony: You are welcome.

Korg has joined the chat.

Korg: Hey fellas, fancy joining a revolution?

Nebula: Fellas?

Tony: Who the fuck is this?

Korg: Hi, I'm Korg. I'm made out of rocks, but there's no need to be frightened. I'm a kind guy.

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade: The Thing. But space.

Wade has left the chat.

Nebula: There he is again!

Korg: Who was that? A friend of yours? Does he want to join a revolution?

Tony: I am way too sober for this.

Nebula: I can kill him for you.

Tony: How about we don't do that?

Valkrie has joined the chat.

Tony: Now who the hell is this?

Valkrie: Who the hell are you?

Tony: I'm the hell person whose chat this is.

Valkre: Oh. Well trust me, I don't want to be here as much as you don't want me to be here.

Nebula: So why are you then?

Valkrie: Korg. Stop talking to these weirdo's, and come help me build this fucking ship.

Korg: A revolutionary ship?

Valkrie: Korg, you do know that we don't need the revolution anymore? We won.

Korg: There's always a need for a revolution.

Tony: I actually agree with the space rock here.

Nebula: Same.

Nebula: Especially if it's against Thanos.

Tony: I'm pretty sure that's not how that works.

Nebula: Whatever. As long as I can stick my blade through Thanos, I couldn't care less.

Valkrie: Who's this Thanos?

Tony: You know how people/aliens/whatever turned to dust around you?

Valkrie: Yeah?

Tony: Yeah, well that was Thanos' doing.

Nebula: And also half of the universe turned to dust, not just the things around you.

Valkrie: Oh.

Valkrie: Yeah, let's kill him. Brutally.

Tony: Glad you agree.

Valkrie: Korg, come on, let's build this ship. And help kill this fucker.

Korg: ... a revolutionary ship?

Valkrie: It can be whatever type of ship you want. As long as you help me build it!

Korg: Okay! Bye guys, I'll send you some pamphlets, if I find out where you are.

Korg has left the chat.

Tony: Hold on, what revolution?

Valkrie: I don't actually know. I black out every time he talks about it. All I know is there was a lot of fighting, and we won.

Nebula: Who mentioned a revolution?

Valkrie: See? Just like that.

Valkrie: Anyway, I gotta go lose what's left of my sanity... maybe I can get drunk.

Tony: Get drunk?

Tony: Where? How? Can I have some?

Tony: Please. I'm so sad. I have lost so much, and I don't know who I've lost on Earth.

Tony: Please help me dull this pain.

Nebula: Jesus man. You need help.

Tony: Hey, that's dad to you. And yes. Yes, I do.

Tony: So, about that booze.

Valkrie: No. All mine.

Valkrie has left the chat.

Tony: Oh, gee thanks.

Nebula: Want me to kill her for you?

Tony: We really need to have a discussion about your immediate reaction with murder.

Nebula: So, is that a...?

Tony: No. That is a firm, no.

Nebula: Do you want me to kill ANYONE?

Tony: No, you don't have to murder for me, or my love.

Nebula: You really are the best dad.

Tony: That is the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Nebula: Are you crying again?

Tony: No.

Nebula: I can clearly see you.

Tony: ... no, you can't.

Nebula: Just because you're now wearing your Iron Man helmet, doesn't mean you're not crying.

Tony: Yes it does.

The Grand Master has joined the chat.

The Grand Master has changed their name to: TGM.

TGM: Does my name sound weird like this?

Tony: Anybody who calls themselves 'The Grand Master' is a narcissistic weirdo.

Tony: At least 'TGM' can be an acronym for something better.

Nebula: Like 'The Great Mistake'.

Tony: And 'This Guy is Measly'.

Wade has joined the chat.

Wade: 'Tomg it's Gjeff Mgoldblum'.

Wade has left the chat.

Tony: Huh?

Korg has joined the chat.

Korg: 'To Ghost Men'.

Korg has left the chat.

Tony: What?

Valkrie has joined the chat.

Valkrie: 'To Get Masacered'.

Valkrie has left the chat.

Tony: What?!

Nebula: I like her.

Tony: Of course you do.

Tony: Oh my God, you and Nat are going to take over the world.

Tony: If she's still alive that is...

Nebula: Only one world?

TGM: Oh, oh, can I join?

Nebula: No.

Tony: Leave now.

TGM: This wouldn't happen if I still had my champion. Fucking sparkles.

TGM has been blocked from the chat.

Nebula: Who was he talking about?

Tony: Idk.

Tony: Probably some aliens or something.

Thanos has joined the chat.

Thanos: Sup losers?

Tony: Oh daughter of mine, do you notice something?

Thanos: Daughter?

Nebula: No, my father, I do not.

Thanos: Wait, father?!

Thanos: What have you done to my second favourite daughter, Tony?!

Tony: So, daughter. You were telling me about your sister... like an hour ago.

Thanos: Ahh, yes. My favourite daughter.

Nebula: Gammora. She was an assassin, just like me. I love her. But SOMEONE threw her off a cliff.

Thanos: It was the price to pay for the stone.

Tony: If she were still here I would adopt her, too. Skrew it! Dead or not! She is my daughter, too!

Thanos: WHAT?!

Nebula: She would have liked that.

Nebula: And so would I. Because it would annoy her boyfriend.

Tony: Who's her boyfriend?

Nebula: That imbecile Quill.

Tony: ...

Tony: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

Nebula: Nope.

Thanos: I hate him, too.

Tony: I suddenly like him more now.

Nebula: Same.

Thanos: Are you ignoring me?

Tony: Do you notice anyone else in this chat, daughter?

Nebula: No father, I do not.

Thanos: I know what you're trying to do.

Thanos: And I hate you both.

Thanos: I'm glad I destroied half of the universe.

Thanos: Well, screw you two. I'm not going anywhere.

Carol has joined the chat.

Thanos: Oh, shit...

Carol: Hey you purple fuck!

Carol: It's time for you to, gtfo!

Thanos has been blocked from the chat.

Tony: Well thanks for that.

Carol: It's aiite.

Tony: ...

Tony: I'm sorry what?

Tony: Why are you speaking like its the 90's?

Carol: Cuz I'm HELLA cool like that.

Tony: Oh God.

Nebula: Want me to kill her?

Tony: Thinking about it.

Carol: Geez chill. I'm on my way to get you right now.

Tony: Second thoughts! I love her!

Nebula: So do I!

Nebula: Do you have food?

Tony: And water?

Nebula: And oxygen?

Carol: Yes, yes, and yes.

Carol: I also have some guy named Phil, he says he knows you.

Tony: Oh, yeah... I'm hallucinating.

Carol: No you're not.

Tony: I gotta go pass out now.

Tony has been disconnected.

Carol: Drama queen.

Nebula: Good night, dad.

Nebula: See you soon, Carol.

Carol: Cool beans.

Nebula: I don't understand you...

Nebula has left the chat.

Carol: I dig that.

Carol has left the chat.

Somewhere in the soul world

Bucky has created a chat.

Bucky has added Sam, Peter.

Bucky: What is this place?

Peter: I don't know, Terminator Jesus Sir.

Sam: Terminator Jesus!

Sam: That's amazing!

Bucky: Can we be serious here?

Sam: I am being serious! That name is amazing. Screw you and your bad tastes.

Peter: Are we dead?

Bucky: I think so.

Peter: Meh.

Sam: Woah, kid, are you okay?

Peter: Yeah. Man, Aunt May's gonna kill me when she finds out I'm dead.

Bucky: H... how?

Peter: She'll find a way.

Peter: I hope Mr Stark doesn't blame himself.

Sam: Wait, 'Mr Stark'? Are you that spider-kid?!

Peter: Spider-MAN.

Sam: You are!

Bucky: Who is?!

Sam: He is!

Bucky: Oh!

Peter: What is going on?

Sam: YOU WEBBED US UP NEXT TO EACH OTHER!

Peter: Ohhhh, you're those guys.... hi?

Bucky: HI?!

T'Challa has joined the chat.

T'Challa: Death meeting. Now.

Sam: What?

Bucky: How did you even get everyone to listen to you so fast??

T'Challa: A king has his ways.

T'Challa has left the chat.

Peter: He's so cool.

Peter has left the chat.

Bucky: I'm cooler...

Sam: Dream on, Barnes.

Sam has kicked Bucky from the chat.

Sam has left the chat.

(Bonus)

Carol has created a chat.

Carol has added Y/N, Natasha, Thor.

Carol: Right I'm gonna go get your friends.

Carol: Brb.

Carol: Oh, and don't let Goose eat you.

Y/N: Eat us? What?

Natasha: How can a CAT eat us?

Carol: You don't want to know.

Thor: But he is so tiny and fluffy.

Carol: Yeah, you'll be fine. Just don't lather yourself in bacon grease, or have him anywhere near your eyes.

Y/N: Well there goes my bathing plans.

Natasha: And why no eyes?

Thor: It's fine I've already lost one!

Carol: Exactly.

Carol has left the chat.

Y/N: Should we be scared of the cat?

Thor: Probably...

Natasha: We should be scared of every cat. This one more.

Thor: I agree.

Y/N: Hmmmm

Y/N: Gonna go poke him.

Natasha: Wait Y/N...

Y/N has been disconnected.

Natasha: Jesus Christ.

Natasha: Let's go help her.

Thor: And cuddle Goose!

Natasha: Thor no.

Thor has been disconnected.

Natasha: I work with children.

Natasha has left the chat.

[wolfpawn]

I Hate you, I Love You Chapter 5

Chapter Summary -  Danielle helps Benedict with Christopher while the pair talk.Tom goes into his mothers and is brought to a realisation that the world is not, contrary to recent belief, all about him.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long.  This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

I think it goes without saying that I am taking some serious artistic licence with Tom here. I would hope he is more copped on than this......actually, considering the last few months, I think it may be somewhat true, hopefully, he isn't so naive, he is, after all, a (then) 35-year-old man, but let's face it, this makes the story more dramatic.

If you wish to be tagged, please let me know.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog  @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer

“How are you feeling?” Ben asked. He had met Danielle a few times through Tom and his family, she was incredibly normal, which was refreshing when you’re surrounded by actors and Hollywood. “I heard you yell at Tom about your night.”

“I just…Today is not the day for unimportant bull…” She caught herself before she swore. “Sorry.”

“I keep getting caught myself.” Ben dismissed changing the nappy. “Can I be so rude as to ask to heat some food for him too?”

“Sure, get him sorted and then we’ll organise that then.” She smiled. “It is nine in the morning, did you drive from London?”

“Someone, and I am not pointing fingers,” He pointed to his son. “Is getting up early, and Sophie is in Scotland, so I didn’t know what to do, I thought I would visit Tom, but well…”

“That blew up in your face.”

“That’s the polite way of putting it. This is so…not Tom.”

“Tell me about it, Diana is completely at a loss, so are Emma and Sarah, and for some reason, because he does not want to confront whatever or whoever is eating at him, I am Public Enemy Number One. Does he eat porridge?” She indicated to Christopher.

“Yes, but there’s no need to go to the trouble.”

“I usually have a bowl before I go to bed anyway,” she shrugged. “It’s only a little extra scoop; unless you want some yourself.”

“I am fine, thank you. Strong coffee is good. So you are…”

“I will be fine, I will go to bed for a while, then head to work early and get an assessment and an obligatory counselling session then be back to work.”

“That…Jesus, that’s rough.”

“You get used to it, in some ways, if that makes any bit of sense.”

“Do you not ever get nightmares?”

“Most weeks that something terrible happens, yeah.”

“Jesus.”

“I should have just gone to acting college.”

“Could you have afforded it?” There was a clear hint in Benedict’s voice that he was being sarcastic, clearly having heard everything Tom had said.

“Any other day, I’d have kneed him in the nuts for that, but today, I just can’t care, besides, it is clear, he is not the guy he was.” She sighed.

“Is that…?” Benedict pointed out the window.

“Mac, get down.” Elle didn’t even have to look, she knew it was the dog. “He’s the dog Tom found, yeah.”

“He looks good.”

“A bit scraggily, but yeah, he is doing well now.” She smiled.

“I am sorry.”

“What for?”

“Tom.”

“No one can apologise for him but himself. I only hope he sees sense, and when he does, that everyone is still here for him, because I think I am officially at the very precipice of telling him to go take a running jump off the nearest cliff.”

“No one would blame you. Thank you.” He took the fresh porridge and coffee from her and blew on it.

Half an hour, and a fed waddler later, Benedict thanked her, and left her home, tying Christopher into his car seat, before looking at Diana Hiddleston’s house and sighing.

*

“What was that ruckus outside Tom?” Diana asked, still in her nightgown.

“Benedict has gone into Danielle’s.” He stated angrily.

“I am not sure I follow.”

“He came here, supposedly to see me, but instead went into hers, and is in there now.”

“And why is that?” Diana looked at her son, she knew when he was at fault for something as a child, he would just give the start and end of a story, but nothing of what occurred in the intervening period.

“I was talking with Elle, and she went off on me, and he took her side.”

“Thomas,” Diana warned.

“I was tired and angry, and I may have said something, and she…”

“Gave you the truth?” Diana interjected. “You are my son Thomas, and I will always love you, but you need to get yourself in check, you are going to allow everything you worked for go down the toilet, and for what? When you were dating Susannah, you broke it off because you knew you would be too busy and did not want to drag her along, and now, you are going too far the other way, dropping it all for a woman, one who is not ready to settle down, and at twenty-six, that is fine, she is young, but you are putting it all on this one horse Thomas, and I am not sure the horse will even run the race.” Tom frowned. “Elle has a difficult job, and she wants her life outside it to be as smooth as possible, please do not make that any harder on her.”

Tom said no more, he knew once his mother found out the difficult night Danielle had, she would murder him for adding to her misery. “I need to get showered.” Diana nodded and went into the kitchen, turning on the radio.

“There was a road traffic accident in the early hours of this morning in Suffolk, a woman, and her two children were travelling back from a trip to Legoland when a truck driver fell asleep at the wheel, killing the occupiers of the car. The woman, named as thirty-four-year-old Carol Johnson originally from Brighton, residing in Suffolk, was recently widowed and had taken her children, eight year old Jeffery and five year old Jessica to the famous theme park following the death of her husband in a workplace accident in the North Sea on an oil rig earlier this summer, Jessica was said to be excited to start school next week, having bought her school supplies while in London with her mother. Police and paramedics at the scene said it was a devastating reminder of the dangers of driving while tired, and urge drivers to pull in and sleep if they feel themselves dozing off at the wheel.”

Tom sat on the steps of the stairs, listening to what Danielle had dealt with at work, feeling guilt riddle him once more. Diana came into the hallway, her face pale at what she had heard. “You don’t think…”

“She mentioned it, yes.”

“She was there?” Tom nodded. “And you were…”

“I didn’t know.”

“I think it best you leave her alone from now on Thomas,” Diana stated coldly.

Tom went upstairs without another word as Diana left the house to check on her neighbour.

*

For the rest of the time he was in Suffolk, Tom did as his mother suggested, and left Danielle alone. He was opening the window of the bathroom to leave out steam after a shower, and saw her in her back garden, a cup of coffee and a slice of apple crumble on the table, on a recliner garden chair, with Mac Tíre curled up on top of her. The dog, though small for a Sheppard, took up most of her torso, as she curled her arms around him, the dog clearly sensing her distress. He felt terrible for her, and was about to go apologise to her when his phone went off, looking at the screen, he noticed it was Taylor and clicked accept; since she was supposed to be in LA and that meant she was ringing him at five am there. “Hey.”

“I have the best night.” She half sang at him.

“I’m glad to hear that.”

“I sang with Nelly at Mike’s birthday.”

“What?”

“Mike Heis, the oil heir, I sang at his birthday, here in the Hamptons.” She repeated excitedly.

“The Hamptons, isn’t that on the East Coast?” Tom frowned.

“Eh, yeah, here in Long Island.”

“I thought you were in LA, that’s what you said yesterday?”

“OMG, I decided not to go, a party is so much more fun, especially for Mike, he is super rich and sweet, so I said, how could I say no, right? I mean he is practically squad approved awesome, by the way, I kissed him, so don’t be surprised to see a photo.”

“What?”

“Oh there’s nothing behind it, totally platonic, it’s on the cheek, so you’ll get over it.”

“That’s sort of, inappropriate, though, isn’t it? I mean if there are pictures.” Tom broached.

“It was a friendly one, and besides, I am not changing myself for anyone, and it keeps the cameras where they need to be. I’m tired, so I am going to bed, you’re here again tomorrow, right?”

“I need to go straight to Australia, there is one scene that went a bit awry, so I am to go there and then I am free for a week, yeah.”

“Tell them you are busy til Thursday.”

“That’s not how it goes with Marvel movies Taylor, they are in charge, not me.”

“I told my parents you are going to be here, so be here Tom.” She demanded petulantly.

“I cannot be there until I do the scene, they’ve paid the flights, I have to go.”

“Fine, but I am coming too.”

“Great.” His tone did not match the word.

“What’s wrong with you?”

“Jetlag, and a small argument with my mum’s neighbour I have to sort.”

“That woman?”

“Danielle, yes.”

“She is such a bitch, Johnny, my bodyguard, told me she was trying to sneak into your mums when I was there with you, as though she owned the place, and had like a camera phone in her hand, you are better off away from her, I bet she has a hoard of things on you, waiting for the highest bidder, you should have a high fence and an NDA put on her ass. I mean, what is she paying for that house with?”

Tom’s brow furrowed. “I never asked.”

“Maybe you should, your family has money, and she is some nurse or something, and she can live next door to your mum, and only did so after you got famous.” Taylor planted a seed in his mind; he looked down, looking at the woman that had been close to his family for so long. “I mean, it’s so cliché, use the family to get to your celebrity crush.”

“Crush?”

“Yeah, she is totally in love with you, why do you think she is always running around to your mothers, dying to see you no doubt, I mean, I bet she accidentally walked in while you were there, pretending not to know you were home.” Tom thought of the first day, and her arriving home just after him from work. “I’m right, you know it. I am used to it all, I have been in this game long enough, she is practically a stalker.”

“Tom, are you there?” a voice called from outside the bathroom.

“I better go; mum is calling.”

“What time are you into JFK tomorrow?”

“Actually, it’s to Florida.”

“What, no that’s unacceptable, change it.”

“I am afraid not everyone has private jets, love.” Tom chuckled.

“You should, fine, I will send mine to get you.”

“The next flight is from there to Hawaii and then a connection to Brisbane.”

“God, that’s a joke.” She commented.

“Get some sleep love, I will see you soon.”

“You better.” She signed off, hanging up before he could say anymore.

“Tom?” He heard his mother call from outside his room in the hallway.

“Yeah,” Tom looked at the phone. “I’m here.”

“I am going to Emma’s for a few days with Danielle, what time is your flight?”

“What?” Tom demanded, opening the bathroom door.

“Emma’s, Elle and I are going there for a few days.” Diana jumped slightly when Tom opened the door.

“Why?”

“Because Elle took that crash badly, she is not sleeping at all, apparently those children, they are keeping her awake,” Diana stated sadly. “She’s been giving compassionate leave for a week, she needs a break.”

“So she is on the verge of a breakdown, that is what you are saying, that she is nuts.”

“Thomas!”

“What, that is what you are saying, is she even safe to be around?”

“How could you say such a thing, you heard the news report, and saw the photo’s in the paper, you can see her, trying to get into the car. How she hasn’t had one is a miracle. Don’t you dare speak badly of her for it.” Diana snapped.

“She is too close to the family, you need to step back from her. How do we even know her family are dead?”

“Thomas! What has gotten into you?”

“Taylor was saying…”

“I should have known.” Diana walked off. “That girl has cost you a lot of late Thomas, I have to wonder how much you will lose before you wisen up. She is off snuggling up to billionaires sons and kissing them all too closely and you are here losing everything for her.”

“She told me about that, it was platonic.” He called down the stairs.

“And yet when I met that Australian girl from The Night Manager, she said she tried to ring you about your Emmy, she was met with an automated answer, as has Elle, and I bet others too. You cannot be friends with women, but she can snuggle men, trust has to go both ways in a relationship Thomas.” She stated back to him, opening the front door. “Ready sweetheart.” He heard her call. “Tom’s car is in my way, put Mac in and we’ll take yours.”