#Carlos Begins

[chaotictarlos]

how did we (i) get here?

ship: Tarlos | fandom: 911 Lone Star | author: chaotictarlos | read on ao3

Rating: Mature Warnings/ Tags: Angst, Internalized Homophobia, 4 x 01 spoilers, Carlos Reyes, Iris Blake, TK Strand, Character Study, Carlos Begins, of sorts, mild sexual content, feelings, lots and lots of feelings

Summary: A look at Carlos, from when he was younger to present.

Or, in which I meant to write a Carlos POV Coda and wrote a Carlos begins and so much more.

Authors Note: I sat down to write a Carlos POV to go with the TK one I posted yesterday (where do we go from here) and the story took a turn. Instead, I explore Carlos as a person with this new information and explored his life is leading up. I made discoveries about myself, about Carlos, and reshaped how I feel about this secret along the way. I enjoy where this ended up, and I hope you do too. Thoughts and comments are appreciated.

Thank you to L for beta'ing for me. :)

for @tylerkennedys

--

Carlos Reyes never claimed to be a perfect man.

He knew that some people saw him as such. He’s always been able to put out the vibe that he has his life together, that he’s not falling apart and as broken as everyone else is.

He’s always been good at pretending.

It’s just something he’s always had to do.

Growing up, Carlos tries to be the perfect son. He never wants to disappoint his parents but something always seems to be wrong with who he is, pieces of him that they don’t seem to like. 

When he was 10, his dad commented that he is “too soft” as a boy because he choices schoolwork over playing football. 

Carlos internalizes that and the next school year tries out for all the sports, hoping it will make his dad proud, but all his dad can focus on were the things that he wasn’t getting right.

So Carlos works harder and throws his all into the game.

He just wants to make his parents proud.

READ THE REST ON AO3

tags: @strangefurychaos @ronensass @sapphire11 @first-kanaphan @angeltk @noxsoulmate  @beautifulhigh @rangergurlgleek1211 @detective-giggles @tarlos-spain @lonestardust @bubblesandroses8 @thebumblecee @mooshkat @importantbailiffpaperpony @cowlos-reyes @bonheur-cafe @kiloskywalker

[f1-stuff]

...why does it look like Charles is preparing to watch a striptease?

[artemispt]

The whole garage scene! The way Lando just stays behind…

[perfectlycleverduck]

carlossainz55: man in lycra>>>man in finance😜😜

[leclercskiesahead]

“Eyy, what are you doing here?”

Carlos guarding the Ferrari secrets

[aeaiila]

Carcar is so delicious when you factor in Carlos Sainz’s serial schemer tendencies.

In any situation he’s in, Carlos is always trying to gauge everyone else’s emotions and motivations (and how he can leverage them) (generational trauma response). Carlos Sainz being faced with Oscar whose own mother calls “conservative”… I can see Carlos initially being uneasy around Oscar because he can’t get a read on him. No motivations. No sore spots. Nothing. And then Carlos’s unease turns into annoyance when he wants a response from Oscar and he can’t figure out what levers he needs to press to get Oscar to do what he wants.

Hilariously, I can see Carlos getting kind of flattered that Oscar, immovable Oscar, only gets seems affected a few times the entire 2023 and it’s because of Carlos? Carlos’s lizard brain betrays his tightly run ship of a forebrain and jumps to the conclusion that Oscar thinks he’s special and gets very giddy over the idea.

Carlos’s lizard brain insisting he tries to provoke a response from Oscar so he can get a hit of the “im special :)” validation cocaine. It will become very addictive because Oscar wouldn’t take the bait every time so the times he does the dopamine hit is crazy. (Also if he did respond every time, Carlos would feel like he cracked the code and he was in control and that would be boring).

Meanwhile, Oscar just thinks Carlos is annoying but also hot.

[strungcheese]

Hats, fireproofs, helmets...I need to study how often they share stuff

[masonjarsmoments]

Casper calling Carlitos Bro is something so personal to me

[alexturntable]

Charles and Carlos talking about Monza on F1 TV

[whewchilly]

vía Scuderia Ferrari

[f1-stuff]

Miami GP '24 // P3 in Quali

"It hasn't been an easy weekend up until now. It's a very tricky track... I think with two cars up front, we can try and put Max and Red Bull a bit under pressure. So, let's see. Eye on the podium and, hopefully, something better."

[alrightbuckaroo]

what is a promise if not your hand in mine?

When TK can’t suppress his nerves, he has a very easy tell. He holds his hands to his mouth; as if he’s stopping all the words he actually wants to say.

When TK wants to comfort Carlos, he expresses it in the softness of his touch. He’ll place a gentle hand on Carlos’ face, reminding him that he’s here.That he’s still right here.

TK might not wake up, and Carlos can’t even hold his hand. TK might not wake up, and all Carlos wants to do is hold his hand.

—

Carlos doesn’t know where he went wrong; where they went wrong. What he does know, is that he’ll do anything he can to fix it.

He chooses not leave the hospital until TK wakes up. At some point, he doesn’t think he can leave. All the weight of “what happened” has weighed him down.

At some point, he thinks, maybe it’s best if he leaves. Carlos tells Nancy that he’s holding a vigil for a man who doesn’t he want him in his life.

Nancy doesn’t buy it; she tells Carlos that TK loves him.

Carlos doesn’t buy it; he asks Nancy why she would say that.

Nancy looks at Carlos, confused, and answers, “Because it’s true,”

Nancy tells Carlos that she can’t even say his name around TK because it’s too painful for him to hear. “It’s obvious,” Nancy says, as if it’s obvious. “He loves you.”

With watery eyes, he looks at Nancy and asks, “If he loves me so much,” His voice is tight, an edge to it. “Why did he break my heart?”

—

Carlos allows himself to be upset, and he tells TK how he really feels. He knows TK can’t hear him, but he thinks it might make him feel better.

It doesn’t, not really.

—

TK wakes up.

He wakes up and the first thing he does is call Carlos, “Baby.” He reaches out and grabs Carlos’ hand. To remind him, he’s here. He’s still right here.

It’s in that moment, Carlos can feel his broken heart slowly start to mend itself together again.

—

A week later, Carlos asks TK what he’d like for dinner. TK says red snapper will always sound good.

On the drive to the grocery store, TK asks Carlos what he’d like for dessert. Carlos says cookies will always sound good. TK suggests they make the cookies he always made with his mom growing up.

Carlos is touched; he asks TK, “Are you sure?”

TK shrugs, “You’re sharing your home with me; the least I could do is share a piece of mine with you.”

—

They grab all the necessary ingredients. Pretzels, chocolate chips, shredded coconut, and candied pecans. They’re standing in the baking aisle when TK asks Carlos if he remembers what the secret ingredient is.

“Toffee?” Carlos asks as TK reaches for a bag of brown sugar.

TK smiles at him, and Carlos loves everything about it. “Love.”

—

They thank the cashier and head back to their apartment.

Walking through the parking lot, all Carlos can think about is TK’s hand in his. He asks the question he already knows the answer to. He says it out loud; to make it real, to make them real.

“Can I hold your hand?”

“Of course,” TK reaches his hand out, grabbing onto Carlos’ hand without a second thought. “That’s what it’s there for.”

Cross posted this from ao3 as it's not only topical but one of my personal favorites. Hope you enjoyed <3

[janesurlife]

I need criminal carlos, son of Fernando Alonso to come out for sprint (cause I don't take it seriously) so he can make everything 100 times more interesting

[leclercskiesahead]

shellmotorsport It's here! Part two of @charles_leclerc and @carlossainz55 playing Two Truths and a Lie! Watch and guess along. (Part 1)

[vroomvroomsposts]

I just wanna know how much good fortune did Ferrari use up for Monaco. Because ever since then it hasn’t been great!

[lewishamiltonstuff]

How did they even hold it together for so long? 😭😭😭