#Carisi is protective over reader

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Mr Right

So, anonymous requested this request. And not gonna lie it was hard to write in so far as making Rafael a dick but otherwise I loved writing adoring Carisi caring for pregnant reader.

Warnings: Swearing, threat of violence, angst

Master List

Prompts

You casually walked through the squad room, smiling at your fellow detectives as you made your way to Liv’s office. You paused briefly as you saw them all look at each, their smiles not quite convincing. You shrugged before continuing on, thinking that they were just concerned with how you were handling the baby Drew Incident. Which…fair, you probably weren’t handling it as well as the others, and Rafael hadn’t answered your calls or been at home when you went by his place. The two of you had been dating for around six months and you wanted to check on him and not being able to tell if he was okay was worrying you. You hoped that he had at least talked to Liv which was why you were making a beeline for her office.

“Hey, Liv,” you leaned against her doorway rapping your knuckles against the glass.

“Y/n,” Liv waved you in, you noticed her smile was forced as well and you could see the strain around her eyes. “Come in. I wasn’t expecting you to be in today.”

“Oh?” you asked tilting your head as you stepped through, closing the door before taking a seat in-front of her desk. “Why?”

“I thought maybe you might take some time off or even request a leave of absence,” Liv sounded confused. “Maybe even talk about a transfer once you two had discussed where Rafael was moving to.”

“Moving?” you asked even more confused. “Rafael, is moving?”

“He hasn’t told you?”

“We haven’t talked since his trial, he said he needed some time, and I gave that to him but when I tried to call him or go by his place there was no answer,” you could feel your heart speeding up, as a burning sensation built at the back of your throat. “Rafael talked to you?”

“Yes, he said he had put in his papers and was thinking of leaving,” Liv’s voice turned to steel as she put together the pieces you were still missing but were slowly putting together.

“He…he’s leaving, and he didn’t even tell me,” your voice quivered as your vision became blurred as your eyes filled with tears. “He’s left me.”

“I am so sorry,” Oliva stood up and moved around to you. She wrapped her arms around you holding you close to her as you cried. Your chest felt tight as you tried to get your breathing under control, but it was difficult as the buzzing in your head got louder.

“I can’t believe he wouldn’t even call me,” your voice was soft but measured as the buzzing in your head slowly disappeared. You could feel your body slowly starting to heat, you took in a deep breath before letting it out in a shaky exhale. Anger started to fill your veins, pushing away from Liv you started to pace, your hands running through your hair. “I mean what the fuck?! We were together six months we were even talking about moving in together, getting a place. I-if I ever see him again I…I’ll…fuck!”

“Your anger is understandable,” Liv stood up watching as you paced. “Take the day, more if you need.”

You spun around to face her, your chest heaving as you tried to get control, not wanting lash out at your friend. Just as fast as the rage hit you it was gone as your body sagged as if someone cut your strings. Tears filled your eyes again as you nodded. Liv’s eyes softened as she watched you switch emotions so quickly; she couldn’t believe Rafael wouldn’t even call you. She was going to kill him for hurting you.

“I’ll get Carisis to drive you home,” Liv’s voice was gentle as she reached for you again. “I don’t want you driving like this.”

You just nodded, following her out like a lost puppy. Now you understood the looks the others gave you. They knew. They bloody knew. Great so everyone but you knew that Rafael left you. You braved a look at the others, and was a little surprised. Finn looked murderous; it seems Olivia had enough time to tell them that you had in fact not known that Rafael had left. Amanda looked torn between helping Finn commit a crime and comforting you. Carisi, well, Carisi looked like someone had kicked his dog as he came towards you, his jacket in hand.

“Hey,” his hands started reaching for you but aborted their movement before they dropped to his side. You tried to smile at him but you were sure it came off a little more like a grimace. “Come on, let’s get you home.” Once again you followed after one of your friends like a lost little puppy.

--

It had been over a month since you found out that Rafael had left you like the bastard he was. And your sadness had almost completely been replaced by rage. The others had taken to be careful not to mention his name around you. It wasn’t that you would start frothing at the mouth in rage but rather you would shut down and that apparently made the others uncomfortable. Well, Carisi got more concerned then uncomfortable. He had started bringing in an insane number of baked goods and would also show up at your place with ingredients to cook dinner.

It was probably the best you had eaten in that month, or well ever apparently. Your favourite pants had gotten a little tight, actually, all of your pants had gotten tight. And that didn’t make any sense, because you were throwing up randomly throughout the day, which also tended to coincide with when someone mentioned Rafael. The throwing up just made Carisi even more concerned for you, which had him making you even more food. It was a little vicious cycle. You stared down at your pants that you were currently struggling to do up. You pouted as you tried once again to get the two sides of the pants to come together, your eyes narrowed as they once again did not come close to touching.

“What the fuck?” you whispered frowning as tears started to fill up your eyes, chest heaving as a sob crawled up your throat. “Great now I’m crying. Again.”

Giving up on your pants you fell back onto your bed allowing the sobs to run their course. You couldn’t wait for whatever this was to end. Hopefully, it would be soon. You couldn’t take much more of this. It was ridiculous. It was worse than the ups and downs during your cycle. Wait. You bolted up into a sitting position. Your sobs stopping just as quickly as they started.

“Not possible,” you whispered, grabbing your phone and opening your calendar. The date stared at you, like some big massive joke. “Nope, nope, nope.” And, yep, there are the sobs again. Flopping back onto the bed you threw the phone to the side, covering your face with both hands you sobbed harder. “Maybe if I ignore this, it will go away.”

Your little session was interrupted by a knock on your front door. Groaning you sat up, glaring down at your jeans before aiming the glare in the direction on your front door. The knock came again, dragging out another groan from you as you forced your body up tugging your shirt down as much as you could to cover your undone pants.

“I’m coming,” you called out as the knock sounded again. “Don’t be so god damn impatient.” You yanked open the door, glare firm on your face even as you continued to cry.

“Hey-woah, are you okay?” Carisi stood on the other side, the smile freezing on his face as it morphed into a concerned frown.

“Do I look okay?” you demanded turning away from him and walking back towards your kitchen leaving the door open for Carisi to walk through.

“I mean…no?” Caris seemed unsure if he should answer that question honestly. You huffed reaching to get a glass, Carisi’s eyes zeroed in on your undone pants and the swell of your stomach. His eyes slowly moved up, taking in any other changes he could see. Only to stop when he caught your eyes, your puffy, wet, red eyes that were currently glaring at him.

“Can I help you?” your voice was cold, almost seething, as you set the glass down and tried to tug your shirt back over your pants again. “I am aware that my pants can’t do up at the moment, but that is no reason to look at me with judgy eyes.” You voice broke as the tears started falling again. “And fucking hell, can I stop crying for five minutes please?!”

“Trust me I was not looking at you with “judgy” eyes,” Carisi promised, arms twitching as he resisted the urge to hug you. “I was concerned. And I think I may know what is going on.”

“Of fuck off, with your knowledge because you have sisters,” you cursed. “I am not…I can’t be…pregnant.” Your voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear you but it broke his heart. You sounded so scared.

“You’ve been throwing up a lot, and your body has changed,” Carisis thought better of using the phrase “gained weight”, his sister did not appreciate it one bit. “Not to mention how you’re switching between emotions really fast. It might be a good idea to take a test. Just to be sure.”

You looked up at him, all the anger fading from your face as you heard someone else voicing the thoughts that ran through your head once you realised it had been nearly two months since your last period. Shaking your head, you closed the distance between the two of you and fell against his chest. Carisi was always an affectionate person with his friends and right now you needed his hugs and you knew he wasn’t going to offer, not after the last time. Where you may have bitten his head off. Which you now at least had a theory as to why you reacted the way you did. Even if you really didn’t want to entertain the idea, you knew taking a test would be the smart thing to do.

“Can…I mean, will you be here, when I take it?” you asked in a tone so close to broken that Carisi wanted to hunt Rafael down.

“Of course I will,” Carisi soothed, running his hand up and down your back. “I’ll go out and get a test. You stay here, want me to maybe also get you some different pants?”

“Yes,” you nodded, hiccupping as you refused to let him go. “But just...stay here for a moment.”

“I won’t leave until you want me to,” Carisi promised, arms holding you tight to him.

“You promise?” you couldn’t help but ask him. You couldn’t help but fear that one day everyone you cared about would decide to leave you, with absolutely no warning. “You won’t leave?”

“Never,” Carisi pressed a kiss to the top of your head, heart finally shattering. It was then that swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to help you believe he wouldn’t leave, that there were people in your life who cared about you and would never leave you. It doesn’t matter what it will take, or long it will take until you believed him.

--

“You have to come out of the bathroom eventually,” Carisi called knocking against the door. “It’s been long enough, what does the test say?”

“I think the fact that I am in here having what is most definitely a panic attack should answer that!” you tried to sound angry but the sobbing and fear in your voice did not help.

“A panic-I’m coming in,” Carisi frowned, opening the door he found you sitting on the floor against the bath tub, the test in your hands. At the look on your face, he once again found himself wanting to hunt down a man he once considered a friend. You were so pale, your chest heaving as your breath came out in rough pants, your eyes looked unfocused.

“Oh, darling.” He couldn’t help the pet name as he kneeled beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you against his chest. His other hand carefully took the test out of your shaking hands, noting the positive result before setting it aside so he could rub your arm in comfort.

“What am I going to do?” you asked, voice shaking. “I can’t, I’m pregnant.”

“It’ll be okay,” Carisi whispered.

“How?! How the hell is this going to be okay?” you demanded pulling back from him, eyes blazing, panic seeming to fade as the anger at your situation hit you full force. “I’m pregnant, and the bastard of a father left without even so much as a good bye! I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can,” Carisi assured you. “You are so insanely strong, not to mention brave. You would be an amazing mother. Whatever decision you choose I will support you.”

“You will? Why?” you asked confused.

“You’re my friend and I care about you,” he answered, voice firm.

“Regardless of my decision?” you wanted to confirm, knowing that Carisi had his faith. “Even if I decide I don’t want to keep the baby?”

“Yes, it is your decision,” Carisi nodded. “But, again, regardless, I will support you through it. Now come on we need to get off this cold floor and you need to eat something.”

“Carisi, I can’t,” you whined, mood switching again. “My pants don’t fit.”

“I got you new ones remember?” he gently pulled you up off the floor, pulling out a handkerchief and wiped away the tears that had started to fall down your cheeks again as your rage ebbed away at the thought that your pants don’t fit.

“Oh, right,” you bit your lip as your eyes drifted up to Carisi’s face, taking in his features as he wiped away your tears. “Thank you.”

“Any time,” he smiled tapping you on the nose. “I also got some ingredients for a pasta dish.”

“Ooh, can we have that garlic bread you made the other week?” you asked brightening. Carisi’s food always made you happy, even if at first you thought it was making you gain weight.

“Yes, of course I got ingredients to make that garlic bread,” Carisi couldn’t help but laugh at not just your quick change in emotion, he was use to that, he thought it was adorable you got so excited about his food.

--

Amanda, Liv and Finn all stood around staring. Watching as Carisi handed you a container with what looked like homemade food, and he then placed a bottle of something on your desk.

“You need to remember to be taking your vitamins,” they heard him scolding you. “The Dr said your levels were low.”

“…they tasted funny,” you pouted, hand settling a little on your stomach that had started showing.

“I know that is why I went and got some different ones, apparently they taste like orange, which I know if something you are currently craving,”

“Is Carisi smiling differently?” Amanda asked, head tilted to the side.

“Yeah, he looks like y/n hung the moon,” Finn huffed.

“It’s kind of adorable,” Amanda muttered.

“She looks happy,” Liv smiled softly. She was glad to see it, you hadn’t looked so happy in months. And she was worried about what being pregnant with Rafael’s baby would do, but apparently Carisi had it all under control.

“Carisi, never brought me home made food when I was pregnant,” Amanda complained.

“That’s cause he wasn’t in love with you,” Finn chuckled as he walked away leaving the other two to watch Carisi moon over you. It was sickeningly adorable and for Carisi’s sake Finn hoped nothing went horribly wrong between the two of you. Finn would hate to have to add a list to the names of those he would shoot on sight. It currently had one.

--

You pouted. And pouted some more. Staring up at the poor man through your lashes. Said man was trying, rather admirable, to ignore you, blue eyes looking anywhere but at you. Your eyes narrowed as you stepped closer to him, puffing out your cheeks.

“Please?” you asked.

“No,” Carisi sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“Carisi,” you whined. “Please.”

“It’s nearly midnight, I am not going out to get you ice cream,”

“But I want pickles and ice cream,” you huffed. “And we only have pickles and no ice cream…oh and sprinkles! With peanut butter, that sounds sooo good. Doesn’t that sound yummy?”

“Sure,” Carisi laughed, this was the fourth time in two days that you had started out wanting something only to find several things to add to it.

“So, you’ll get the stuff?” you bounced lightly on your feet, hands moving to hold your stomach. You were entering your second trimester, and the cravings were only getting stronger.

“Fine, but you are coming with me,” Carisi tapped you on the nose, grinning when you scrunched it up.

“Good idea!” you nodded. “We can get pizza as well.”

“Pizza?” Carisi asked, face scrunching in confusion as he led you out of your apartment. You nodded, grabbing his hand without thinking and tugging him along.

“Yes, now come on.”

--

You weren’t entirely sure when your feelings for Carisi changed from friendship to wanting to always be around him. On the odd night when he wasn’t at yours you missed him, when he went out into the field and you were stuck at the desk doing paperwork, you missed him. And also worried about him an insane amount. You weren’t sure what you wanted to do with this change but you were happy to let things happen when they happened. And you didn’t wanna read into too much but he had been spending more time with you lately, it was very rare that he wasn’t over at yours or you weren’t over at his.  Like right now, the two of you had just finished an amazing dinner that Carisi had made you, and were now watching tv. You had curled up against him resting your head against his chest as his arm wrapped around your waist. You felt content in a way you hadn’t for the longest of times, and you didn’t want anything to change.

Just as you were reaching for the popcorn, your separate bowl that was drizzled with salt, sugar, caramel and chocolate, you felt a pressure in your stomach. You gasped sitting up hand pressed against your stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Caris moved with you, the arm wrapped around your waist tugging you to his side as his eyes moved between your face and your stomach, his other hand hovering over yours. “Are you in pain?”

“No, that’s not it,” you shook your head. “Oh, oh!” you grabbed his hovering hand and placed it where yours was. “The baby is moving.”

Carisi’s whole body felt warm as he felt the light pressure against his hand. His chin came to rest on your shoulder as he looked down at your stomach where your hands were joined together. He tried so hard to ignore the feelings that were building the longer he was around you, this wasn’t suppose to be anything more than a friend helping a friend but the more he watched you bounce happily when you ate his food. Or every time you looked at him with those soft eyes, pouting at him to get your way. It was near impossible to do anything but fall for you. That small little crush of his that had started when he joined the team, that he tried to ignore when he saw you liked Rafael, came back full force about two months into helping you.

“Look at that,” he whispered, his voice directly in your ear causing a small shiver to run through your body.

“Our baby has a strong kick huh?” you asked turning your head a little, nose rubbing against his cheek.

“Our baby?” Carisi felt his brain screech to a holt. You jolted, eyes wide as your own words repeated themselves through your head. Echoing a little in Carisi’s head as well.

“What?”

“You called the baby, ours,” Carisi moved his chin from your shoulder so he could look at you properly, trying hard to keep the smile from his face but there was no way to keep those blue eyes of his from shinning.

“I guess I did,” you nodded slowly licking your lips, suddenly finding it difficult to look at those eyes.

“Did you mean it?”

“I…I did,” you nibbled on your bottom lip, stomach fluttering. “I mean, you’ve taken me to every appointment, you’ve gone with me when I needed to get new clothes, you put up with every little craving I have and…you’re always here for me. Just like you said.” Your hand shook as it rose to cradle his face, thumb stroking just under his eye.

“Darling,” Carisi lent into your hand, those eyes burning bright with hope. “Can I kiss you?”

“You better,” you demanded leaning close to him.

“Gladly,” Carisi chuckled as he closed the distance between the two of you.

The feel of his lips brushing yours made your heart quicken, your hand cupping his cheek moved to cup his jaw as you angled your head, moving your lips against his. His hand on your waist stroked up to hold the back of your head, lightly tangling with your hair and tugging it gently as his tongue swiped out teasingly. You gasped into the kiss when you felt a slightly stronger kick, pulling away from the kiss you looked down where Carisi was stroking your stomach.

“Someone’s a little excited,” you smiled, pressing a kiss against his cheek before leaning back and putting both hands against your stomach. “Do, you wanna stay the night?”

--

“I want this baby out,” you groaned lowering yourself onto the couch next to Carisi holding your shoes in your hand. “I can’t put my shoes on.”

“Give em here,” Carisi rolled his eyes grabbing your shoes and kneeling in-front of you. “It won’t be long now before you give birth.”

“Thank fuck,” you rubbed your stomach giggling at Carisi when he raised an eyebrow at your comment. “Hey, you try growing a baby in you, carrying it for nine months, getting cankles, craving the oddest combination of food ever, having your body change in ways you never even thought about, your back constantly hurting, and finally needing to pee every five minutes.”

“Fair enough,” he focused on putting your shoes on, knowing already not to comment on anything that you just said. Last time he did, you cried. Although when you were crying about having cankles and he tried to be supportive you threw a pillow at him. So really, it was a fifty-fifty how you would respond.

“Come on, let’s go,” you held out your hands making grabbing motions at him.

“Alright, up you come,” Carisi grabbed hold of you and helped you up. You grinned up at him and took a step just before a sharp pain radiated from your stomach. You gabbed hold of it wincing in pain. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m totally fine,” you waved him off. “It’s just my stomach trying to kill me, been happening on and off for like the day.”

“Wait, you said your back was hurting?”

“Yeah so, I’m carrying around a watermelon,”

“Normally, constant back pain can be a sign that you are going into labour,” Carisi said. “And you are getting cramps?”

“Well, I’ve gone nearly two decades with getting cramps and while those where definitely painful these are something much different and are coming closer and closer together,”

“Um, honey,” Carisi started. “I think you might be in labour.”

“What like three weeks early? Pfft, unlikely, my family has a history of being like either exactly nine months or like two weeks late,” you shrugged just as your felt a gush of something wet leaving you. “On the other hand, I think you might be right…my water just broke.”

“Oh shit!” Carisi started to panic. “We don’t have your hospital bag ready and we don’t have our route to the hospital!”

“Dominick!” you shouted lightly tapping him on the cheek. “It’ll be fine. Let’s just go, we can always ask one of the others to get me some things.”

“Right, right,” he nodded. “Let’s go.” His arm automatically wrapping around your lower back to help support you as he offered his other arm for you to take as he led you carefully to the car.

--

“Dom, look it’s our daughter,” you whispered breathlessly staring down in wonder at the beautiful little girl in your arms. You had been worried that she would noticeably look like Rafael but thankfully your baby girl had inherited nearly everything from you, and you hoped that it stayed that way. But it truly didn’t matter. Carisi was her father in every way that counted, and every way that mattered.

“She’s gorgeous,” Carisi’s breathed, eyes wetting with tears as he carefully reached out and gently stroked her cheek. “Just like her mother.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t wipe the smile from your face. Your eyes drifted to the bag that Olivia had brought in for you, when she came in to say hello to your beautiful baby girl, and leaving with a wink.

“Sweetie, can you get something from my bag? It should be right on top,” you nodded towards it, breaking Carisi’s little mutterings that he was making towards your daughter.

“Oh, sure yeah,” he nodded distractedly. You grinned down at your daughter in secret, leaning to press a kiss to her soft little forehead.

“I’ve got a little surprise for your daddy,” you told her.

“Um, babe, is this? Is this what I think it is?” Carisi turned around holding a ring box in his hand, the lid opened to reveal a man’s ring. The band a gorgeous mixture of black, gold and silver intertwining with a hint of blue.

“Dominick Sonny Carisi, you have been my rock for the past near nine months, bringing so much happiness and light into my life,” you started, feeling yourself getting choked up. You blinked furiously. “I fell for you without even noticing. You are the father of my daughter, and without a doubt you are the love of my life. We’re already a family but I think we should make it official. Will you marry me?”

Carisi’s mouth was open, his eyes welling up with my tears as he stared at you, sitting there in the hospital bed holding his daughter. Looking more radiate than he had ever seen you. And all he could do was nod silently and take the ring out of the box and put it on his finger.

[remand-me-barba]

okay okay but imagine this

barba who fucks u, carisis little sibling, cause he wants to catch sonnys attention, make him jealous.

its after hours and u r bent over his desk as he just rails u, and... sonny comes in.

Summary: Defense attorney Rafael Barba uses you, ADA Sonny Carisi’s baby sister, to get back at him during a case. And then your big brother walks in on the two of you.

Tags/Notes: Barba x Reader, Carisi x Reader, oral sex (reader receiving)

Content: Fem!Reader (sorry i know i try to be gn but), mentions of kinda stalking, possessiveness, manipulation, fauxcest (?), Rafael is revealed to have increasingly fewer morals, and a little anti-rollisi as a treat for just logan

A/N: So uhhh this is definitely kind of incest but you’re adopted? fauxcest? idk you’re not related but I do say “big brother” and stuff so if you’re not comfy with that, here’s the door no judgement: 🚪but idk this lowkey sucks shit anyway so whatever and also ur kind of annoying sorry :// also i literally did not even reread this

Word Count: 7k

Nobody had been surprised when Mr. and Mrs. Carisi started fostering teens once all their own children had moved out of the house. They loved kids and they wanted meaning in their lives. What did surprise people, especially their biological kids, was when they adopted you, making you an official member of the Carisi family (though you kept your last name, the only relic of your deceased parents) and the new apple of their eyes.

You’d always been troubled, of course, after years of bouncing around the system, and it didn’t stop just because you’d been adopted by a good Catholic family. You still struggled in school and swore like a sailor and pretended you never smoked weed all while being a sensitive, vulnerable kid. The biggest bright spot was that your new ‘big brother,’ a cop with a cocky smile and a chip on his shoulder, had been protective of you since day one. He was still in college when they adopted you, so he stayed over at his parents’ place most weekends in his old room. He’d drive you to school on his way to work so you didn’t have to take the bus, stand up for you when older kids treated you like shit (nothing like a grown man with a gun on his hip to make a teenage boy run away), and always made sure you had what you needed. 

All of that meant you were much closer to him than your ‘sisters,’ who were even older and who rarely visited and never tried to include you in conversations, writing you off as too young and inexperienced to join in on their talk about careers and relationships and adult responsibilities. Mostly because of Sonny, though, you like to think you’ve done a pretty good job making yourself a respectable adult. You’ve got a full-time job, your own apartment (with roommates, but still), and a bank account with more than $50 in it for the first time in a long time. The only issue is that you’ve bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend, never finding one who met Sonny’s strict standards for you. His approval meant the world, so you kept on trying.

Rafael Barba’s by far the best boyfriend you’ve ever had. He stops by your work to drop off flowers on his way into the office, he never forgets or cancels date night, and he makes you feel like you’re worth everything in the world. You’re certain that he’s the one Sonny will finally like enough to accept. It never even crossed your innocent mind that maybe Sonny never liked your boyfriends because he was jealous.

Your mom’s practically dancing around the kitchen as you and your sisters help her prepare Thanksgiving dinner. They’d all brought their own sides, too, and the whole house smelled of garlic and butter and goodness. Nieces and nephews sprinted around the house with happy shrieks while your dad sits in the living room with the husbands watching football.

Sonny arrives after everyone else – without his fiancee, Amanda. She’s been a mainstay at family events for a few years now and everyone feels her absence but nobody says anything. Sonny plants firm kisses on your sisters’ and mom’s cheeks and then pulls you into a warm hug. You notice he holds onto you extra tight this year; things have been rocky with his Amanda lately and seeing you always makes him feel better. He gives your forehead an extra kiss, his hand still on your lower back, and asks, “How’s my baby sister, hm? Been a few weeks since I’ve gotten to see you.”

Before you can answer, your mom’s lilting out, “Y/N’s boyfriend is coming to dinner tonight, so it’s safe to say she’s doing well, I think.”

“Oh yeah?” Sonny clenches his jaw briefly as he digs in the fridge for a beer. Once he pops it open and sips it, he gives you a prying gaze. “Finally someone worthy of meetin’ ma?”

You beam, unable to conceal your excitement at the idea of your family embracing the suave, sexy man you’d come to adore over the last few weeks. “Yeah, I think so.” You check your phone and smile at a few texts from him; you love having a man who isn’t afraid to double or triple text you. “He’ll be here in half an hour; he’s wrapping up at work now.”

Sonny’s eyes narrow. “What kind of psychopath works on Thanksgiving?”

You nudge him in the ribs. “Didn’t you have court this morning, counselor?”

With a conspiratorial glance, he smirks. “Yeah, but I have an important job.”

Mock-offended only because you fully expected Sonny to be standoffish and protective, you reply, “What makes you think he doesn’t?”

He mutters, “Because all your other boyfriends have been losers.”

Your dad enters the kitchen, too, and drops a hand on Sonny’s shoulder. “Don’t be rude, junior. I feel good about this one.”

Sonny grumbles and swigs his beer. “Your good feelings let Gina marry a dud. That’s not gonna happen to Y/N if I have anything to do with it.”

With an eye roll, you excuse yourself, “I’m gonna go get dressed. Mom, I’ll come back and set the table in a minute, alright?”

She waves her hand dismissively. “Go, go, get all dolled up.”

You hear Sonny mumbling something about how you shouldn’t be dressing up for some asshole as you cross the house. Upstairs in your old bedroom, which they’d kept exactly the same, like Sonny’s, you rummage through your suitcase for the outfit you’d brought. You’re staying for the long weekend and mainly packed ugly pajamas to lounge around in while your parents wait on you hand and foot. But you brought a showstopper for tonight. For Rafael, really. Not too much for a family dinner but enough to drive him crazy. A cozy, oversized sweater to appease your family’s more conservative side but a tiny, tight skirt to encourage wandering hands in secret moments and beneath the table.

A shy knock on your door pulls your attention from touching up your makeup. “Y/N? It’s your sunshine.”

You roll your eyes; he only goes for that particular nickname when he’s trying to be cute and sweet and pathetic. Angling for sympathy. You open up the door with pursed lips. “What?”

He steps into your room and closes the door. If nothing else, it was nice of him to knock on your bedroom door instead of coming through the bathroom of the jack and jill suite you shared like he did when he was being extra annoying. “C’mon, sweetheart, don’t be like that with me.”

You shake your head and continue getting ready, slipping on a pair of sheer black over-the-knee nylons with lace details at the top. Sonny’s addicted to watching your legs move. “I won’t be like that if you won’t be like that.”

Crossing his arms over his chest, Sonny huffs, “Like what?”

“Dom,” you say seriously, putting away your things and finishing off your outfit with a pearl of pearl earrings. “I don’t want you to be an asshole to him. I know you’re my older brother, but you don’t always have to do the whole ‘bad cop’ routine. I want you to like him. I’m an adult. Treat me like one for once.”

Sonny sighs heavily. Even if he knows nobody will ever be good enough for you, he definitely doesn’t like to cause a frown on your pretty lips. “Okay, fine. Go ahead and tell me about the bast- guy, then. What do I need to know so I can play nice?”

You squeal and sit down on the bed next to him, your shoulders brushing. “He’s great, I promise. He treats me really well. Always pays for me, opens doors, shows me off to his friends.” Dreamily, you add, “I swear every word out of his mouth is more romantic than the last one. And, fuck, he’s so sexy. Like, his hands are-”

“Spare me the gory details.” Then, after a beat, you watch his eyes rove across your body in a way that feels anything but fraternal. Quietly, he asks, “And he, y’know, satisfies you?”

You snatch a pillow and bash him with it. “Sonny!”

He throws his hands up, snickering because he just said it to bug you. “That’s important in a relationship! I need to know you’re gettin’ taken care of.”

Cheeks turning deep pink, barely concealed by your foundation, you punch him on the arm, put on a voice that one-ups his, and decide to lie just to get him off your back, “You really wanna know? Fine. I always finish first. Usually more than once. He’s very good with his hands and his mouth and his dick is-”

“Okay, Jesus! I concede.” Sonny’s cheeks are even redder than yours and he stands up straight, cheating his body away from yours. He prays to god you can’t see his dick straining against his slacks. “He sounds great, kiddo, I’m glad you have someone who, ah, who takes care ‘a you.”

The truth is that, like all the guys you’ve been with, Rafael mostly gets you off by fucking you, not taking much time for foreplay. But that’s what you’re used to, so that’s what you take. You stand up with a laugh and try to keep your tone casual, blasé, as you add, “The only thing you’re not gonna like-”

“Here we fuckin’ go.”

“Dominick Carisi! Holy fuck, he’s not a murderer.” You shove him hard on the arm and sigh, “It’s just that he’s a little older than me.”

“A little?” He knows you well enough to know you don’t mean a year or two. “How much older are we talkin’ here, kid? Five years? Ten?”

Sheepishly, you cross the room to stand against the door, ready to get out of there. “I dunno. He’s, like, a few years older than you, probably.”

“Older than me?” Sonny storms over to you with fury in his blue eyes. He presses his hands to the door, trapping you between his arms. Something unfamiliar rockets up your spine as you see his taut arms on either side of your head. Matched with his aggression, it’s confusing the feelings in your stomach. “What the hell does a guy that age want to do with you? You’re a fuckin’ child!”

“Oh my god,” you protest, exasperated, “I have a bachelor’s degree and a 401k; stop treating me like a baby.” More than a little venomous, you add, “And stop acting like a pathetic jealous boyfriend. You’re gonna interrogate me about my sex life and then call me a child? You’re gross.”

At that, Sonny startles back, realizing he’s pinning you against the door, and curses under his breath. He runs his hand through his silvering hair and calms himself down with a deep breath. ‘Gross’ isn’t exactly the worst insult you’ve ever thrown his way during your heated arguments, but he knows how accurate it is this time around. Gently, pinching the bridge of his nose, he whispers. “I’m sorry. Really, I am. I’ll be nice, okay? I promise.” Taking your hand in his, Sonny touches your chin to make you look at him. You both hate fighting with each other even if your tempers match. “Forgive me, doll? Please?”

Looking into his puppy dog eyes, you sigh and say, “You know I can’t stay mad at you, sunshine.”

He wraps you up in a hug, lifting you off your feet until you shriek out a laugh, and kisses your forehead. “Thank you. Let’s go and help ma set the table, alright?”

You nod and head back out to the family behind him. In the chaos of your family, you find routine in setting out the plates and glasses just the way you know your mother likes them. Sonny, of course, follows just behind, correcting your askew silverware and rearranging centerpieces because he does it the nicest. Even you can admit that.

Before long, a knock at the door snaps you to attention. Your siblings give a low ooooh like you’re heading to the principal’s office, but you just roll your eyes, too excited to see Rafael to mind their teasing today. You practically skip across the house to the front door and fling it open, feeling Sonny only a few spaces back, ready to pounce. At the door, Rafael’s standing on your front porch in a terracotta three-piece suit, the details all cream and gold, perfectly tailored to the occasion and his strong frame. His salt-and-pepper beard is neatly trimmed and he’s got a pricey-looking bottle of wine under his arm. The picture-perfect boyfriend.

As soon as he sees you in that tiny skirt, he can’t help tugging you onto the porch with him, away from prying eyes. He kisses you hard, free hand going directly to your ass, and you melt into his commanding grasp. From the first moment, he’s known exactly how to touch you. As he nibbles up your neck, not hard enough to leave any trace but definitely enough to get you going, he groans, “God, baby, you’re so gorgeous.”

With a girlish grin, you giggle, “Hi, Rafi. You’re not so bad yourself.”

He hugs you close and sighs, “Mmm. I’m nothing next to you.”

You take a deep breath of his woodsy cologne before untangling your bodies. “Thanks for coming today. I know Thanksgiving’s kind of an intense ‘meeting the family’ date.”

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he replies easily, placing another kiss on your cheek. Then he takes another look at your outfit, noticing those sinful stockings for the first time, and he’s back on you. Because you’re on the front stoop, the curtains drawn and your family clustered inside, you let him grab hungrily at your body, fingers skating underneath the skirt’s hemline as his heavy breaths drive you absolutely crazy. Against your ear, he murmurs teasingly. “Of course, we could always skip this thing and go fuck in my car.”

You giggle against his lips. “Mmm. Tempting, but I t hink my brother would come looking for me.”

“Of course,” Rafael replies, dipping down to kiss you one more time before giving you a cute wink. “Your big bad brother. Come on, let me go and charm him into submission.”

When you turn around, you bump into Sonny waiting in the doorway. Watching. A little startled by his presence, you laugh, “Speak of the devil. Dominick, this is-”

Sonny eyes Rafael up and his voice is darker and meaner than you’ve ever heard it. “Counselor Barba. What are you doing here?”

Rafael’s expression is softer, smirking. As his left hand settles possessively on your waist, Sonny watching his every move, he reaches out his right hand. Sonny shakes it; you don’t notice the way they crush each other’s grips. “ADA Carisi. Good to see you outside of the courtroom.” Then he looks down at you and chuckles, “You never mentioned that your brother works at the DA’s office.”

Of course, Rafael knew that already. He’d seen your picture on Sonny’s desk months ago when they sparred over a minor case and had casually looked over your social media profiles back then because, well, you were cute and he was only human. When it became clear that Sonny would be his opponent on one of the most high-profile cases of his career, he’d gotten familiar with your schedule, slowly deciding that there was no better way to get in the prosecutor’s head than to toy with his baby sister.

On the exact opposite end, you know they’re both lawyers, but it never even occurred to you that they might know each other. Rafael’s firm is out in the Bronx defending wrongful convictions and Sonny’s some fancy government guy in Manhattan. In your mind, they occupy completely different worlds. You ran into Rafael randomly at the Bronx zoo, bumping into you as he picked out a present for his godson, not even close to the courthouse or the precinct you associate with Sonny’s career. But there’s a tension between them that you read right away that feels deeper than your brother being protective.

Through clenched teeth, Sonny eyes Rafael and confirms, “You’re dating my baby sister? You?”

You furrow your brows and cling closer to Rafael, searching your brother’s face for an explanation. “What’s going on?”

Rafael squeezes you and kisses the side of your head, soothing your nerves slightly, and lies, “Just your classic defense lawyer versus prosecutor animosity.” He gives Sonny a challenging look. “I’m sure by the end of the night we’ll be fast friends.” He gives you a smile and caresses your cheek, every gesture oozing with affection. “After all, we both love you, nena. Right, Dominick?”

You smile and give Sonny an expectant glance and a little nod to encourage him. He looks between the two of you, feeling his stomach turn with disgust, and forces a grimace for your sake. “Sure, Rafael. We’ll get along fine.”

You squeal happily and drag Rafael deeper into the house to meet your sisters and parents. It doesn’t surprise you that he’s effortlessly charming with your mom and just the right amount of masculine with your dad. Your sisters oooh and ahh over how smart and put together he is. By the time you all sit down to eat, you’re absolutely glowing from being on his arm (and from a few heavy-poured glasses of wine he hands you, always topping off your drink without asking).

The whole evening, Sonny’s lying in wait for a moment where he can corner Rafael and strangle him to death. Or at least interrogate him. He’s torn between his desire to protect you and his desire to make you happy. His absolute disdain for Rafael Barba and his better nature to give him the benefit of the doubt. He’s only ever seen Barba as a sleazy, slimy defense attorney with a mean streak and a knack for exploiting the legal system, but it’s not like Sonny knew him personally. Work Barba and boyfriend Barba might be completely different animals. At least he hopes that’s the case.

Over the course of dinner, though, he gets the sense that Barba’s exactly the man he thought. He schmoozes your mom with a heavy dose of compliments and talks about sports with your dad like he actually watches them, which Sonny knows for a fact he doesn’t. It’s like he’s done research to make each of your family members tick, from somehow magically knowing Gina’s old college roommate to making Bella tear up with some speech about the beauty of forgiveness and motherhood. It’s all so rehearsed, so calculated, and Sonny’s disgusted by the fact that you don’t see it. 

The thing he really doesn’t like, though, is how handsy Barba is with you. During dinner, with your boys sitting on either side of you, Sonny watches how Barba’s free hand is always on your thigh, way too far between your legs for him to be comfortable with. After, you help with dishes and he stands behind you, arms around your waist, resting his chin on your shoulder. Sonny’s jealousy forces him to wonder what it must feel like to have your ass pressed up against him instead. Once the family’s moved into the living room, Sonny notices how Barba follows every time you get up, his hand possessive on your lower back or between your shoulders.

And he’s shocked most of all by the fact that, when you leave the room with Barba, all the rest of the family does is gush about how wonderful he is. Your dad would’ve killed any of your sister’s boyfriends for touching them like that, but for you, the baby, whatever you want is what makes them happiest.

It comes to a head when, after your sisters and their families have left, Rafael kisses you long and deep and says, “I think I’m turning into a pumpkin. I’m going to get ready for bed, but stay up as long as you want, nena.”

You smile up at him, catch him in another kiss, and reply, “I’ll be up in a minute, just gonna finish my wine.”

He kisses your forehead. “Perfect.”

As soon as he’s up the steps, Sonny’s voice drops low and dangerous; you’d seen him reach for his gun alongside that voice plenty of times. “Ma, are you fuckin’ kiddin’ me? You’re lettin’ some stranger stay under your roof with your daughter? Whatever happened to your-”

Dad smacks the back of his head and glares. “Don’t talk to your mother like that, junior. Rafael’s a good man and he knows our rules.”

Sonny’s hands curled into fists at his sides. “C’mon, dad, you know he’s gonna go up there and-”

You sigh as the fight continues, not wanting to listen anymore, and head upstairs without another word, leaving your unfinished wine behind. You feel Sonny’s eyes on you until you’re out of sight. Frustrated, you push open the door to your old bedroom – and find Rafael reclining on your small bed half-naked, in only his boxer briefs, playing with a skimpy, lacy pink thong you’d been planning on showing off to him tonight after you showered.

Once you’re in the bedroom, your stress melts off at his teasing gaze. “Are these an early Christmas gift for me?”

“Yeah, I think you’d look incredibly cute in pink lingerie.” You raise an amused eyebrow at him and climb onto the bed, straddling his lap and not caring that your skirt hikes up. “And why are you snooping in my suitcase?”

Rafael takes you by the hips and pulls you close, his fingers greedily running up your thighs. He lies effortlessly, “I was looking for some conditioner, amor. I thought you’d be more than thirty seconds so I figured I’d have a shower. Didn’t realize mine was empty.”

“You can shower in a minute.” With an accepting nod, you sigh and nestle into his shoulder. “I’m sorry Sonny’s been so…well, you know.”

Rafael tilts your chin up and cups your cheek. “Don’t worry about it, baby, he’s just being a good big brother.”

“He’s not,” you sigh, annoyed. “He’s being…I don’t know. Weird.” You cut him a curious look, not sure how much to pry. “You know each other, right? Why doesn’t he like you?”

Rafael shrugs nonchalantly. “I’m a defense attorney; he’s an ADA. We’re natural enemies.”

You giggle as he pushes you backwards, running his hands up underneath your sweater and beginning to massage over your unlined bra. But you try to focus as he touches you. “C’mon, I can tell it’s more than that. I’m not stupid.”

Rafael suppresses a laugh at that; if you weren’t stupid, you wouldn’t be here about to get fucked by him, blindly going along, believing his kindness, not knowing he was going to be gone before the night was up, leaving you spent and heartbroken just to get under your brother’s skin. He bites at your earlobe, trying to distract you, as he explains, “We have a case coming up against each other. You’ve probably seen it on the news already; that rapper the state is accusing of all kinds of bullshit.”

“Got it,” you breathe out as he tugs your sweater off and bends down to mouth over the tops of your breasts. “I’m sure he’ll get over it.”

Just to lay it on thick, he pauses and adds, “If I’d known he was your brother, I wouldn’t have intruded on your family dinner. I would’ve-”

“Don’t say that,” you whine, rolling your hips upward for more attention. “It doesn’t matter who my brother is; I want you to be here.” When he hikes up your skirt and shoves your panties to the side to expose your wanting pussy, you gasp out, “Need you, Rafi.”

“Is that so?” He chuckles against your lips, practically tears off his bottoms, and plunges his cock inside of you. You’re so turned on that you take all of it easily, breathless but knowing it well. “How about we stop talking about your brother and start talking about getting you off?”

You nod into his strong bicep as he starts to fuck you in earnest. It’s way too easy to get you to stop looking at whatever he doesn’t want you to. You’re too desperate for attention, for love, to ever question him when he’s taking you like this. You’ve made it so simple for him to get ‘caught’ fucking you so that he can shatter you into pieces and leave your perverted brother to clean up the mess he’s made. He knew Carisi would be so angry at him that he’d be distracted enough to lose just because of Rafael’s presence in the courtroom.

A soft knock on the door steals the moan from your throat. Sonny’s voice follows and blush shoots up to your ears. “Mom and dad went out to a movie; they wanted me to tell you before I head out. Can I get a hug to say bye, doll?”

Barba’s still unrelenting inside of you, his hand over your mouth, and he doesn’t stop as your eyes dart over to the door. He’s smirking devilishly as he calls back, “She’s, ah, indisposed at the moment. I’ll tell her to call you tonight.”

You hear the pained sigh in Sonny’s voice. The sound of him makes your pussy clench around Rafael and you pray he doesn’t notice. “C’mon, kiddo, I know you’re in there with him. I get that you’re mad at me, but-”

You accidentally let out a muffled moan against Rafael’s palm when he angles just right against your G spot. Sonny definitely hears it. His voice catches in his throat and white hot rage blanks his vision. Before you can even wonder if you remembered to lock the door, Sonny’s pushing it open and slamming it shut behind him.

You make eye contact.

You, skirt shoved up around your waist, a man’s hand over your mouth, your makeup smudged, your hair mussed. Him, anger written in his furrowed brow, sleeves rolled past his forearm, features contorted into something like a snarl. Rafael, above you, thumb firmly on your clit, fucking you senseless, moments away from making you cum.

Time slows to a stop, each beat of your heart feeling like a full minute. All you can do is watch as your brother barrels into your bed and harshly shoves Rafael off of you with a harsh growl of, “Get your fuckin’ hands off her.”

You let out a shriek and scramble up the bed to cover yourself as Rafael tumbles to the floor with a harsh thud. Sonny’s shoving Rafael’s clothes at him and creating a physical barrier between the two of you.

“Relax, Carisi,” Rafael spits as he struggles to his feet, “we were just having some fun.”

They’re chest to chest and you can barely breathe as he replies, “She’s not some toy for you to screw with.”

You try to speak, to protest, to calm things down, but it stifles in your throat when Rafael laughs, “She’s made an awfully good way to screw with you, though, hasn’t she?”

The floor drops out from under you as you realize exactly what this is. What you’ve been. A pawn in his game. Just a new type of courtroom strategy.

Sonny’s voice is made of ice. “You used my baby sister. She had no idea. She trusted you.”

“She didn’t exactly ask many questions,” Rafael chuckles, wiping spit from his lip. No shame on his face, he adds, “For such a supposedly smart girl, she was pretty easy to-”

Sonny snarls and grabs Rafael close by his shirt. “You don’t get to talk about her like that.”

“Sure I do.” Rafael sneers, “You’re mad because I touched her, but it’s not because I disrespected your sister.” His eyes are mean and cold and he’s smirking. “It’s because I beat you to it.”

Sonny clenches his jaw. “I don’t know what you think you’re talkin’ about, Counselor Barba, but you need to get the hell out of my house before you regret it.”

“Like you’d ever-”

Sonny’s fist collides with Rafael’s nose – sharp, pointed, quick. A single hit informed by a decade as a cop. Rafael staggers back. Blood streams down, staining his shirt, and he draws in a sharp hiss. He lifts his shirt to his nose and sighs, “Good luck hanging onto your license after assaulting opposing counsel.”

Sonny steps behind him and shoves him forward, toward the door. “Good luck hangin’ onto your life if you stay in this room another goddamn second.”

And Rafael’s gone.

At the same time, you realize the Rafael you thought you knew never existed in the first place.

With your bra somewhere on the other side of the room and your skirt up around your waist, you fold over yourself and cry. Your arms are wrapped around your chest and you feel so small and ashamed. Tentatively, Sonny walks over to you and touches your shoulder. He’s worried that you’re freaked out by what Barba said, especially being mostly naked, so he treads lightly. “Do you want me to leave you alone? Or should I-?”

But you grab him, tug him down next to you on the bed, and curl against his chest like you have a thousand times before. “Please don’t leave me alone.”

“Never,” he soothes as he wraps long arms around you, wholly enveloping you like only he can. As soon as you feel his comfort, your tears turn into sobs that make your body shake. Sonny holds you close and kisses the top of your head, trying so hard not to think about the way your bare breasts feel against his chest. “No, c’mon, y/n, love, don’t cry. He’s not worth it.”

You know he’s right – you should be angry, not pathetic and weepy – but you can’t help it. There’s still that small, vulnerable side of you that’ll always exist underneath your skin. So he holds you until it subsides, your tears drying up and leaving your lips and cheeks such a lovely red. Your cheeks turn even redder when you realize how naked you still are. You snatch up a blanket, pull it around your chest, and give a bashful smile. “You’re the best, Sonny.”

He wipes the tears from your cheeks with his strong hands. “You know how it is; if you need me, I’m here for you.”

You lean forward again so he’ll hold you more, which he does happily. After a minute, you murmur against his shoulder, knowing you’re staining his shirt with makeup, “I always need you.”

“Doesn’t seem like that much anymore,” Sonny laughs softly. “You’re all grown up now. Don’t need your mean big brother to fight your battles.”

“Clearly I do,” you snort and give his hand a quick squeeze. “Thank you, Sonny, for always watching out for me.”

He presses his lips to your forehead and sighs, “That’s what I’m here for.”

You hold onto his shirt a little too tight and ask with a wobbly tone, “Stay over tonight, sunshine?”

Sonny sighs, voice fraught with regret at what he’s about to say. “I’m supposed to go over to Manda’s and-”

“Forget I asked,” you dismiss with a wave. You try to offer up a brave smile. “I’ll see you for Sunday dinner anyway, right?”

Sonny pauses. He looks at the softness written all over your face and can’t resist giving in. “I’ll stay, baby girl. If you need me, I’ll stay.”

You pick at the skin by your thumbnail. “What about Amanda?”

“She won’t miss me,” he sighs. “You’re my girl anyway, right? At the end ‘a the day, I need to be there for you a lot more than I need to grovel for her to forgive me.”

Your brows furrow; Amanda’s always been way too critical of Sonny. To you, he can never do anything wrong. “What did you do?”

“She hasn’t told me yet,” he jokes, trying to change the topic. There’s a little bit of an edge to it, though. There always is. He pats your thigh, letting his hand linger, and says, “Let’s get you ready for bed. Y’need some rest after all that bullshit.”

With a sigh, you nod and hop out of bed. Sonny politely averts his eyes as you find your bra and tug it back on followed by shimmying your skirt back over your butt. That’ll do for now. You open up the door to your shared bathroom, his bedroom on the other side of it, and shake your head. “I just don’t know why I always go for men who just- who just wanna fuck me and then get rid of me.” As he follows behind, you look over him like you might find the answers in his eyes. “What’s wrong with me? Don’t I deserve better than that?”

Leaning on the countertop next to you, Sonny’s on the verge of tears as he says, “Don’t ever doubt yourself like that. You deserve to know what it’s like to have sex with someone who actually cares about you. Who isn’t just usin’ you. You deserve everything good, kid.”

You sniffle, mascara still running down your cheeks as you gaze at him with red-rimmed eyes. “I really thought I had it this time. Love, I mean. Respect. I thought he-” You sigh and huff at yourself. “God, I’m so stupid.”

“Hey, wait,” Sonny protests. He catches your wrist and says, “You’re not stupid. Assholes take advantage ‘a you because of everything you’ve been through. They see how sensitive you are. How sweet. How good. But that doesn’t say anything about you, got it? It says somethin’ about them that they think it’s okay to hurt you.”

You try to sit with that, holding onto Sonny’s praise with everything you have. After a quick, gentle touch to his face, you grab a makeup wipe and roughly remove the mask you’d put on for yet another man who’d never treat you the way you wanted to be treated. Sonny watches as you wash your face until it’s pink and clean.

With your hair down and your skin fresh, you go back to the bedroom and rummage through your suitcase, grabbing a pair of soft lounge shorts and a ratty old NYPD tee that Sonny had given you when he left the force. This time, you turn around to change, and Sonny drinks in the view of your back as you unhook your bra and tug on the familiar shirt without it holding you back. He can’t bring himself to drop his gaze when you bend over to peel off your stockings. He gets an ever-so-brief look at your pussy when you touch your feet and the sight goes directly between his legs. Clearing his throat, trying to sound casual, he stares unabashedly at your ass as you wiggle out of that too-small skirt and into something cozy.

“There we go,” you sigh and turn around, “back to myself.” Finally, you look at him with a sad little smile and shrug. “Who was I trying to fool, anyway? Nobody’s ever gonna want me like that.”

It’s too much.

He can’t bear to watch you, so effortlessly beautiful and kind and sweet, disparage yourself for another second. In a few long strides, he crosses the bedroom, takes your face between his strong hands, and kisses you without hesitation. Shock bubbles up in your chest and widens your eyes, but it softens quickly as you begin to melt. His lips are more tender than you’ve ever felt. A barely audible whimper falls from your throat and pools in your gut. You step onto your toes and let your hands go to his chest, feeling the strong muscles underneath his clothes.

But, despite your obvious want for more, Sonny doesn’t push. He pulls back. He presses his forehead to yours and closes his eyes. With a shaky voice, Sonny admits out loud for the first time, “I already want you like that, doll.” Brushing your cheek with his thumb, he murmurs, “I swear, baby girl, you’re so worth it all. You’re worth everything. I wish- I’m sorry nobody’s been able to show you that before.”

“Show me,” you whisper, desperate and needy. You take his large hands in yours, dwarfing your little fingers, and place them at your waist. An invitation. “Show me what it’s supposed to be like.”

Sonny drags in a long breath. He’s never been so tempted by anything; he’s reciting the lord’s prayer when he hasn’t been to mass in a decade. His voice is gravelly and mournful. “You don’t mean that, kiddo. I shouldn’t’a done that. Kissed you like you’re not my- I’m sorry. We shouldn’t-”

You cut him off with a kiss so soft it’s barely a breath. Then you tell him, “Don’t let my heart get broken twice in one night, Sonny. I need you.”

When  you say that, every dam inside of Sonny breaks. His hands tighten on your waist and then slink around to pull you into an embrace. “Oh, love. I’m so sorry.”

You breathe in his sharp, masculine cologne, letting it steady you. “For what?”

“You just needed me this whole time,” he breathes, looping his arms underneath your ass. He hikes you up off your feet and you cling to him as a giggle boils from your lungs. Nobody’s ever swept you off your feet so literally. He spins you around, drops you on the bed, and bears down on you in one fluid motion. His lips go to your neck and you whine for more, so much more, as he says, “I’m sorry for not givin’ it to you sooner.”

He kisses you again. You can’t believe how different it is from kissing any boy you’ve been with before. His lips aren’t frantic. It doesn’t feel like he’s just killing time to get from one thing to the next. To push you forward.

Sharing breath with you, he promises, “Gonna treat you so good, baby. The way you deserve. Nobody’s ever gonna hurt you again.”

Still feeling the sting of Rafael’s actions from earlier, you mutter, “You can’t promise that, Dom.”

His look is deathly serious when he pulls back. Sounding possessive and intense and warm and adoring, he assures you, “If we’re doin’ this, then we’re doin’ it all the way. You’re movin’ in with me and I’m gonna take care ‘a you.” His hand is on your neck but it’s not threatening or controlling; it’s grounding. It’s a foundation. “No more Amanda. No more boyfriends or hookups. If you’re mine,” he repeats, “nobody’s ever gonna hurt you again.” He slips down and removes your sleep shorts. When he spreads your legs and finally gets a full-on look at you, his voice is so thick with arousal it makes you squirm. Once again, he insists, “I’m gonna take care ‘a you, baby girl. You’re never gonna worry about anything.”

Then he drops down to your pussy, musky and ripe from already having sex once tonight, and inhales deeply. Consuming you. You expect him to be ravenous, to take, but he’s not. He’s so slow. He noses along your inner thighs, kissing lightly and activating the nerves on your soft skin. It’s almost ticklish but not quite. Spine tingling. His hands drag around your hips and waist, drawing you close, worshipping your every inch.

By the time he actually puts his mouth on you, you’re done for. A loud moan billows out of you and Sonny smiles into your cunt. “That’s right, angel, lemme hear how good I’m makin’ you feel.”

No sooner are the words out than he’s back on you. His tongue is mature and experienced and it’s clear there’s nothing on his mind other than getting to explore the depth of you. He’s gentle on your sensitive, swollen clit, keeping his tongue nice and flat and slow. Somehow that’s a thousand times hotter than if he fucked you hard and fast likes you’re used to. By not rushing, he’s showing you just how much he wants to be there. This isn’t about getting his dick wet; it’s about making you his.

When he slips two of his slender fingers inside of you, your whole body arches and tenses. Fuck fuck fuck. He curls his fingers back toward himself, right against your G spot, knowing how to stroke it firmly to make you roil. “That’s it, doll.” He smiles up at you, lips slick with your wetness, as you buck onto his fingers. when he touches his thumb to your clit, adding just the right amount of pressure, you whine loud and true. He praises, “Just like that. So good for me. God, your pussy’s pretty. Beggin’ for as much as I’ll give her.” As he kneels back down again, he says, “You’re beautiful, baby. I’ve gotta taste you when you cum.”

Now accompanied by his fingers, Sonny takes your clit once more. He’s thorough and sweet, only getting faster and harder until he finds the exact pitch and tempo that has you moaning and writhing to every single touch. And then he keeps you there. Not a single change to rush you through it or keep you away so he can fuck you. No, he works on your pussy like it’s a case, checking every box and leaving nothing unturned.

Warmth tightens in your abdomen and Sonny groans against you, feeling the contraction of your cunt around his fingers. He doesn’t let up at all, working you through it, making sure to give you every second of pleasure he can. If he’s going to blow up his own life for you, it’s going to be worth it. When you cum, shattering apart, he clings to you, savoring the new rush of sweeter slickness that coats his fingers as you clamp down over and over. He can’t wait to feel that same sensation around his cock, milking him dry.

Sonny brings you slowly back down to earth. When he removes his fingers, you sigh out heavily at the lack of fullness. You miss him filling you in any way you can get, even as he props himself up on his elbows to kiss you. Still breathless, you kiss him back, tasting yourself on his tongue, and grip his hair and beg, “Fuck me, Sonny.”

“I don’t usually bring condoms to holiday dinners,” he chuckles, clearly struggling to resist you. He can feel the heat radiating from between your legs against his clothed thigh. “Next time, love, I promise.”

You sigh, but you know he’s right because he always is. Soft and sure, you reply, “I like the sound of ‘next time.’”

“Oh, there’s definitely gonna be a next time,” he says with a lopsided grin that only comes out when he’s blissfully happy. He peppers kisses over your face until you’re laughing, too, and tells you between them, “When I leave in the morning, I’m breakin’ up with Amanda, pickin’ you up, and never lettin’ go again.”

For some reason, you feel like crying. His tenderness unravels everything you’ve been holding onto. A little tentative, you tell him, “I love you, sunshine.”

“I love you, y/n. You’ve got no idea how much.” The reply comes so quickly and effortlessly you have no choice but to believe it. Sonny turns on his side and holds you close so you can nestle into his chest, breath finally slowing and relaxing. “Your heart’s done bein’ broken, baby. I’ve got you now.”

[amica-aenigmata-naboo]

Strip

Dominick "Sunny" Carisi Jr. x Y/N - drabble - 2K WC

Masterlist

Warnings: undercover Carisi, stripper reader but nothing described, threats, trafficking, abuse, mention of SA, basically all the warnings that come with SVU as a whole

-------------------------------------

Carisi sighed as the colorful flashing lights made the club feel ethereal. The naked flesh around him emanating the pungent smell of sex, money. He would never get used to that part of the job. He always felt bad for the women in this place. Not because they were sex workers, but because of how the men viewed them, treated them. As if they weren’t human, something to use. And the men always had these dark hollow eyes, like sharks. Throwing money like that somehow gave them permission to do as they pleased. The mic in his suit scratched against his skin as his arm stretched to follow you. 

Sitting him in the large chair of the private suite, you closed the curtain, turning around to face the man. You walked towards him with a sway in your hips.

“Is it ok if we… don’t?” the man said.

You stopped in front of him with a confused and shocked expression. “You don’t want a dance?”

“No… but I can pay,” he said, fumbling with his wallet before he handed you $200. “I just needed to get away…” he mumbled trying to remember the name you had told him over the thumping music.

“Candy.” you shrugged, taking the money from him and putting it under the strap of your bra. “Not a fan of clubs?” you asked him before sitting on the arm of the chair as it was the only place to sit in the tiny room. 

“Sunny,” he said, shaking your hand like a gentleman, “And no not really, especially this one.” he said, looking up at you. 

You let out a chuckle, “No? I’ll let you in on a little secret - me neither.” you took out a cigarette and lighter from behind the chair, you and the other dancers had them stashed in almost every room.

“Oh? And why is that?” he asked, taking the lighter from you and holding it out for you to light the cig. 

“Strippers don’t have worker protections ya know? And our boss, yikes.” you said, letting out a drag.

“The uh, the big Russian guy?” Carisi asked. The Russian owner was the target, after one of the girls from the club had been found dead in an alley with a surprising amount of “work” to make sure she was hard to identify. 

“Vladimir Kosorovka.” you said, even his name sent a chill down your spine. “He’s…” you paused, realizing what you said next could earn you one of Vlad’s punishments.

“You’re safe, I promise.” Carisi said, instinctively going to hold your hand.

“He’s a monster.” you shuddered. “Diamond went missing and he didn’t even sound concerned… and when she was found… dead, all messed up… I swear he smiled? Like he was happy that it took the police days to figure out she worked here, and that's only because Daisy called the tipline because she was worried.” you said, your hand trembling in his grasp. “I think he did it.” you whispered.

“Why’s that?” the man asked, his eyes told you he wanted to know but that he would also protect you from Vlad.

“Ya know, its never been hard for me to tell when a cop comes in, especially undercover. You all look around too much.” you said, pushing Carisi’s shirt aside slightly, seeing the mic taped to his chest. Carisi looked down, trying to think of what to do now that he was compromised. “You’re safe, I promise.” you said, squeezing his hand for reassurance. 

“What can you tell me about your boss?” he said, much more confident in himself now that he wasn’t hiding. 

“Like I said, he’s a monster. He beats us. Robs us. Rapes us. We’re his and we all owe him a debt… If I knew the price I never would have come here…” you sighed.

“Come here?” Carisi asked.

“He brought all of us to the USA, all the dancers out there are illegal, including myself. It's why we don’t leave… can’t leave… until we work off our $20K debt. If we have sex with him he takes off $100. Even if he forces us… how generous.” you said with a nervous smile, trying to conceal your anxiety. You had never told anyone this, but something about the man in front of you made you feel safe.

“What do you want to do, if you didn’t have to stay here?” he asked.

His question stunned you for a moment, realizing it was coming from him and was completely unrelated to police work. “I… want to become a citizen and go to school…” you said.

“And then what?” he said, his eyes encouraging you to go on. 

You smiled softly at him, “I want to be a lawyer… to put people like Vlad away.” 

Carisi broke out into a bright smile, he couldn’t help it. “I’m gonna be a lawyer too, maybe I’ll see you in class sometime.” 

You put your cigarette out on the back of the chair, flicking the butt behind it as well, “Wouldn’t that be nice?” you said, a tinge of sadness in your voice.

Suddenly you heard stomping, the pattern was familiar - Vlad. You could hear him yelling in Russian but only one word stuck out to you -  конфеты. Candy. Without thinking you pushed Sunny back against the chair, your fingers running through his silver locks to mess his hair up. You tugged at his tie, covering the mic.

“Trust me?” you said, looking at him with panic stricken eyes.

He nodded quickly, hearing the steps get closer. 

You dropped to your knees, undoing his belt quickly before dragging down his zipper. Carisi’s face was burning red but he played into it when the door swung open, throwing his head back and gripping your hair.

“Move it Candy.” Vlad said with hostility in his tone, yanking you up by your arm. 

“Hey man I paid $200 for this action, let her finish eh?” Carisi said with faux irritation.

Vlad looked between the two of you, he snatched the $200 from your bra strap before tossing you back towards Carisi. Your tall heels made you stumble backwards, landing straight in his lap. “Make him happy, then come to VIP.” he said before slamming the door shut.

Carisi felt you tense when Vlad mentioned VIP. “What’s in VIP?” 

You remained frozen on his lap, “Nothing good… It’s the last place Diamond went before she…” your hands clenched into fists.

Carisi gently switched places with you, sitting you down before he straightened out his clothes. “Stay here.” he said.

You snatched his hand, “Please don’t leave. You’re the police, you have to protect me… something awful will happen to me if I go up there.”

“Trust me?” he asked, squeezing your hand. 

You looked between his eyes for any signs of deception but found none, you nodded watching him open the door to leave. “My name is Y/N. Y/N L/N… just in case something happens to me.” you blurted out.

“Dominick Carisi, nothing is gonna happen to you. I promise.” he said before shutting the door. 

You stayed still and silent, after a moment you heard screams, yelling, the music cut off and it sounded like people were raiding the building. You stayed where you were not wanting to bump into Vlad or any of his friends. When the door burst open you saw a woman with brown hair and eyes. 

“Hey you’re ok, my name is Olivia, you’re safe.” she said, shrugging her large jacket off before handing it to you.

You took it, nodding at her gratefully as you put it on. Anything was better than walking into the cold New York air in a tiny string bikini if you could even call it that. Olivia led you out slowly, red and blue lights flashing everywhere. 

“I want Sunny.” you said randomly as EMT’s sat you down, covering you with a shock blanket.

“Ok honey, I’ll send him your way.” Olivia said before re-entering the club.

After a while you saw him emerge and come your way. You don’t know why but as soon as you saw him your eyes watered and you couldn’t help but hug him.

“Thank you…” you whispered. 

He hugged you back, trying to comfort you.

The embrace didn’t last long, Vlad was dragged out in cuffs but as soon as he saw you hugging a cop he rushed you. He knocked you to the ground before the cops could restrain him. “You are dead little one. You cannot hide from me in this city. I own it, I own you. You and Diamond will both belong to the gutter. Slut.” he said, spitting at you with his final insult before being dragged off.

Carisi helped you off the ground, “That was a direct threat to a key witness.” he said to Olivia.

“I know. She needs a safehouse.” Olivia said.

“No please! Vlad has friends in the police, I am as good as dead.” you said with a watery voice.

“No you’re not. I’ll take care of this.” Carisi said to Liv, she nodded at him despite not knowing his whole plan. 

Carisi left you with the EMT’s while he had his wire removed and stored with the rest of the evidence. As he sauntered back to you, he couldn’t help but notice how beautiful you looked in the early morning light. The sun had yet to rise but it was slowly making its way there. 

“Come on.” he said, holding a hand out to you.

“Where are we going?” you asked as he led you to his cruiser. 

“Home. It’s safe, warm, and nobody will know you are there.” he assured you. 

“Is that allowed?” you asked out of curiosity.

Carisi shrugged, “Our secret.” 

You smiled and nodded. The drive was quiet and you were sure you fell asleep at some point because when you woke up you saw the city behind you. “Staten Island?” you asked.

Sunny nodded as he parked before running around to your side to open the door. He walked ahead of you, showing you to his apartment. Inside you finally stopped shivering, you kneeled down finally taking off your heels. When you stood on your feet you let out a sigh of relief. Now you had to look up at Sunny when he spoke.

“I’ll get you some clothes.” he said before walking off. You remained where you were, feeling awkward. 

When he returned he handed you some pajamas that were soft to the touch, “They’re my nieces, should fit you.”

“Thanks.” you said, dropping the coat Olivia had given you to put them on. You noticed the blush on Carisi’s face as you dressed. “Don’t get embarrassed now.” you chuckled.

His laugh was the most perfect sound you’d heard in so long. Genuine and full of heart. “Italian?” you said.

He looked at you with intrigued eyes, “What gave it away?” he asked.

“You put your heart into everything.” you said. You were always so perceptive, it saved you more times than you could count.

Carisi smiled at that, “Are you hungry?” he asked.

“Honestly I’d love to just sleep… Vlad kept the club open 24/7 and made us do coke to keep up. I don’t remember the last time I slept in a bed.” you said, crossing your arms in front of you to hold yourself.

Carisi’s smile dropped to one of knowing sadness. He nodded for you to follow him which you did. He opened a door at the end of a narrow hallway. A large bed with blue bedding. 

“She’s all yours.” Carisi said.

You smiled at him before running and jumping onto the bed. Your body melted instantly at the softness of it all. The second you closed your eyes you felt yourself drifting off. You could hear Sunny giggling at your actions before you felt him pull a blanket over you. 

“I’ll be here when you wake up, just down the hall. Come get me if you need anything.” he said before leaving. 

As you drifted off you couldn’t stop thinking about the man who not only saved you but made you feel something other than terror. It wasn’t lust, it was more pure than that. Butterflies? God you hoped so, and hoped that just maybe he felt them too.

--------------------

Naboo's Note:

Merry Crisis everyone lol my brain is so fried and its only going to get worse over the next three days. Hope ya'll enjoy, XOXOXOX!!!!!!

[noellawrites]

Distance - dark!Sonny Carisi x sibling!reader

summary: your big brother Sonny comes home to visit and finds he has a lot to catch up on.

warnings: incest (kissing and touching), forced touching

notes: reader is gender neutral/no gendered terms, although ‘sweetheart’, ‘kid’, ‘kiddo’ and ‘baby’ are all used as terms of endearment.

requested by and written for @rafaslittleboy ❤️

----

You usually kept your distance from your older brother. It was easy most of the time. He had a busy job as an ADA, a girlfriend (whom you didn't like) and her kids in the mix, not to mention the two of you living in completely different boroughs.

Deep down, there was one reason above all others, though. You both loved each other... in a way that wasn't normal for siblings.

When the holidays came around, it was unavoidable. Your siblings brought their kids or step-kids or husbands or partners and you were always just there, alone, listening to your Italian-American family get louder and louder as the night progressed.

And today was definitely not an exception.

The whole family was home celebrating your parents’ wedding anniversary. It was different from the typical family holidays where everyone and their own families came, sharing sleeping bags and blow up mattresses.

"(y/n), are there any boys or girls we should know about?” Gina’s voice cut through the room as the rest of your sisters and your brother turned around to watch your reaction closely. Your family was quite protective and romantic relationships were no exception. You and Bella still talk about how much you hate Amanda behind her back.

“No, I’m not really into the dating scene. I’m too busy with school and work,” you explain. Everyone nods in understanding and goes back to their conversations. All but Sonny, whose gaze lingers on you for another moment.

After dinner, you take a seat on the couch next to your niece, Mia, who was basically the same age as you so it felt weird calling her your niece. Amanda's kids somehow still hadn't run out of energy, so they were running around the kitchen and dining room. You said a silent prayer for your ma's china cabinet.

You nodded along deftly to the discussion, which had recently descended into an argument about having a family vacation next summer. It got hard to fake your interest after a while, so you decided to excuse yourself and go upstairs.

Checking your phone, you realized how late it was. You hoped to god that Amanda wouldn't be staying over. The last time that happened, you had to sleep on the couch while her two daughters got to sleep in your bed.

You crept into Sonny's childhood room, relics of his past still gracing the walls. Old sports trophies, stuffed animals, old toys.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a large book peeking out of his bookshelf. You remembered this vividly: it was one of the Carisi family photo albums.

You inch it off of the shelf and carry it over to Sonny's bed, sitting down on it while flipping open the photo book.

You skimmed through pictures of him as an altar server at your family's church, school field trips, pictures from the Police Academy, old girlfriends, family vacations.

And then you came to the page. The very first image was your mother holding her small bump, looking old and exhausted, pregnant at almost fifty. A twenty-three year old Sonny with his arms around her. You kept flipping. A messy-haired Sonny holding his little infant sibling and looking so proud.

You thought looking through the photos would help you realize how wrong you felt, but the lump in your throat grew. There were so many more photos of you and Sonny.

“Hey kid, what’cha doin’?”

Your heart banged in your chest and you turned your head, seeing your brother leaning against the doorframe.

“I-I’m sorry, Sonny—“ you said, hurriedly shutting the photo album and setting it on the floor.

“Nah, don’t be sorry. I look at ‘em sometimes too, feels like just yesterday I was holdin’ ‘ya in my arms,” he smiles, walking over and sitting next to you on his bed.

Your bodies draw into each other and you instinctively lean into his chest. There was something so special about your big brother, so much comfort in the fact that he’s always been there for you.

“I’m happy ‘ya home, kiddo. I miss seein’ ‘ya,” he smiles, ruffling your hair.

“I miss seeing you too. It’s not the same, living without my big brother,” you sigh.

You look up at your brother. Since he’d been promoted to detective and sent to Manhattan’s Special Victims Unit, you’ve noticed changes in him.

“I miss 'ya too, but it won't be too bad, me livin' in Manhattan. 'Ya always welcome to come 'n stay, kiddo," he says, and you nod, giving him a tight smile.

As you lean back into his chest, you feel his fingers tracing lower, lingering past your waist, in a move disguised as comfort.

"'Ya body's changed a lot since I last saw 'ya. Lookin' real good, kid. Really growin' up," he hums.

A soft blush rises up your cheeks. “That’s what happens when you’re too busy with work to come visit us,” you nudge playfully.

“I’m gonna change that, kiddo. I’m gonna be ‘round here a lot more, gonna make sure I ain’t missin’ nothin’,” he reassures.

You turn and press your face into the soft fabric of Sonny’s dress shirt, inhaling the smell of his woodsy cologne and bergamot laundry detergent.

“Good,” you smile, reaching a finger up to play with one of his shirt buttons.

Sonny looks down at your soothed expression as you toy with his shirt playfully. After stealing a quick glance at the door, he looks down and puts his hand over yours.

“Why don’t we take this off, hm?” he asks, starting to unbutton his shirt from the top.

Now, it was your turn to look at the door, still slightly ajar. Your heart pounded at the thought of one of your family members catching you in such a compromising situation with your brother.

“Go close it, sweetheart,” he orders, placing his hand on your cheek softly. You nod and mechanically obey.

You turn back around to see your big brother leaned back against the headboard, smirking, shirt open to expose his chest and slightly rounded stomach.

“Whatever this is… we shouldn’t be doing it,” you say hesitantly.

“Nah it’ll be our lil’ secret, kiddo. Been wantin’ ‘ya like this f’so long,” he groans.

You glance back to the door, even though you know you’ve already shut and locked it.

All of a sudden, your brother’s hand pulls you onto the bed and into his lap, laughing at your skittishness.

“Kiddo, ain’t nobody gonna hear us, alright? Banged plenty’a chicks in this room ‘n my day,” he laughs, reaching up to cup your cheek. “Jus’ gotta focus on me, hm?”

You lay across his parted legs, both of you shimmying further down the bed so you could lay comfortably on top of him. You could feel his hardening member against your legs and it made you want to curl up and turn away from him.

But you couldn’t.

Your big brother leans up slightly, placing his soft lips on yours. He deepens the kiss and you let out an accidental, blissful moan.

“‘Ya like that, baby?” he asks, amused, one eyebrow cocked.

You lean up to meet his lips and he sticks his tongue in your mouth, deepening the kiss, touching all over your body as you focus on him.

“Sonny, n-no—“ you gasp, moving his hand away from where it rested, toying with the band of your underwear with his long fingers.

“‘S okay baby, gonna feel good,” he promises, fingers dancing below the elastic and touching your nerve-filled skin.

As Sonny sticks a finger inside your hole, you try to hide your pained, uncomfortable wince.

Sonny leans into your lips again, kissing you passionately and leading you into a heated makeout session. You weren’t quite sure what to do except follow his lead, so you push your hand down to his crotch and rub at his hard cock.

“Fuck, sweetheart!” he hisses, mouth hanging open.

“Is th-this okay?” you squeak, eyes wide.

“God, kiddo, yeah, ‘s more than okay,” he moans, throwing his head back.

You’re not sure what else to do, so you lean down and give him a few soft kisses on his long, open neck.

You’d seen people do that on TV and it seemed to make them feel good, so you figured it couldn’t hurt.

“Pull ‘ma cock out, sweetheart,” he breathes, guiding your fingers to his pants zipper.

“Sonny, I-I don’t know if—“

“C’mon, sweetheart. ‘Ya wanna make ‘ya big brotha’ feel good, right? Wanna make me happy?” he urges.

“I-I guess so,” you say, voice wavering.

As you feel around to grab his cock and pull it out of his boxers, you hear your mom’s voice ring out from downstairs.

“Dessert is ready, everyone!” she calls, immediately causing an uproar from Amanda’s rowdy children and Bella’s little one that you could hear all the way upstairs.

You and Sonny looked at each other, wide-eyed.

“Go downstairs, kid. I gotta take care’a this first. ‘N later, we’ll have s’more fun,” he promises, giving you a dizzying kiss on the lips before nudging you off the bed.

You turn and walk to the door, your brother behind you jerking his cock off with labored breaths.

You opened the door, walked through and closed it behind you, knowing nothing would ever be the same between you.

[storiesofsvu]

WIP Roundup!

Alright, I've completely cleaned out the inbox and deleted "all" messages that I didn't respond to/that were "ghost" messages driving me insane saying they were there when they weren't.

Which ALSO means I've gone through my entire WIP folder and narrowed things down. Some got deleted, some I'm going to sit on for a little bit and see if something sparks, others I went through and added nearly 3000 words of blurbs/notes/ideas on how the fic is gonna go. The creativity is *flowing* so here's what we're working with now!

Addison Montgomery: A twist on the Seattle Grace prom ep. This time it's Addi off in an on call room cheating. She knows she shouldn't, that it's wrong and tells reader this, who agrees with a laugh. Problem is Addi knows it's not gonna be the last time. Amanda Rollins: her girl is supposed to be her gambling good luck charm. Amanda's not very happy when she ends up being someone else's and takes her home to be punished. Barhoun: 1 angst piece delving into one version of how/why they break up for good. Why things would never workout between them. 1 poly!fic where they frequent a high end sex club in the city and see a little timid thing that needs *guidance* (will end up w multiple parts) 1 poly! pure smut fic where they've both had long weeks and need someone to take it out on. Alex Blake: a minor hurt major comfort piece. Reader is hosting the team for post case drinks, but the case hit hard and she gets incredibly overwhelmed with the environment in her apartment. Blake is the one she trusts and wants around. Sonny Carisi: 1 hurt/comfort of him having to deal w his cop wife being undercover. He's now the ada and can't be on scene to help her/protect her and man does he ever hate that. 1 hurt/comfort potentially related to s26. Sonny needs someone, he needs to be comforted and taken care of by someone he trusts completely, someone he can relinquish all control to. CM Ladies: 1 comfort of reader coming out as bi/coming to terms with it and feeling a little bit insecure about it because she's only dated/been with men. Reassurance from the rest of the girls 1 mega smut club sandwich: Reader is friends with JJ, she's casually dated a couple other members of the team over the years and everything is on good terms. When she gets invited out for a night of drinks she meets the newest team member and is conflicted about how her night will end. Naturally, one of the girls comes up with a much spicier idea. One that reader doesn't need to make a choice. Elizabeth Donnelly: 1 mini series where Liz's relatively new gf starts to see the way other prosecutors act around her gf, how often Liz drops things to attend to their needs and how much she mentors them. She starts to get jealous/insecure about it and their relationship, wondering if she's enough or if Liz deserves/wants more. Emily Prentiss: 1 hurt/comfort in s17. Instead of getting high, emily devolves even more as she starts to spin out. It's only when reader shows up to yank her out of it that she finally gets a reality check from someone who cares and is worried about her. 1 smut. a continuation of "Seventeen" if you will, where em has tried to be good and play by the rules but she can't help it. Work's been busy and she's *needy* Olivia Benson: 1 mommy!olivia smut 1 that's a 5 times + 1 style of Olivia secretly dating Elliot's younger sister. Sara Kingsley: 1 either multi part-er or a 5 times where Sara has a crush but doesn't want to admit it. Joe Velasco: a 5 times one i've been working on for ages. Where he and reader have been sleeping together for a while but are in denial of all feelings and pretending their fling is a secret when.. yeah... everybody knows.

There's 20 all together in my WIP folder, but some I am sitting on to see if they develop something that might be deleted so I didn't include them.

That gives you a nice idea of what style/who is in the wip folder and what y'all have to look forward to!

Requests remain OPEN, so feel free to check out my pinned post and prompt lists to get some ideas. I generally DO like to get more than just the prompt as a request, send me even just a pretty vague setting/thought/what kind of situation they're in/how they got there. It helps me come up with someone more and there's a higher chance of it not getting deleted further down the road lol.

Happy Wednesday! <3

[metalmonki]

Objection! Part 3

Rafael Barba x fem!Carisi!reader

1k word count

Summary All you wanted was to be a lawyer like your big brother Sonny. So what happens when you get a job working under the famous ADA Rafael Barba

slow-burn, colleague to friends to lovers

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Coffees and food in hand, I made my way back to the district attorney's office. As I walked through the door, I heard a familiar voice call out behind me.

"Y/N, Rafa is really putting you to work, isn’t he?" Olivia smiled as she caught up and fell into step with me.

"Lieutenant Benson, hardly. This is just a thank you for everything, and something to tide us over while we look over a case together," I smiled back at her.

"Oh, please, call me Liv," she laughed. "I hope my team didn’t scare you off."

"No, they're wonderful! If anything, I’m mad that Sonny didn’t introduce us all earlier."

"If it makes you feel any better, we all thought he only had one sister until Fin overheard him talking with Rafa about getting you a job. Then he tells us he has four sisters!" Olivia laughed, holding open Rafael's office door for me.

Rafael looked up from his desk, raising an eyebrow when he saw us all smiles and laughter.

"Getting along well, I see," Rafael remarked, keeping his face neutral.

"Yeah, just talking about Sonny," I smiled, placing a coffee and a sandwich in front of him. "This is a thank you for saving me at the courthouse earlier."

"Oh, no thanks needed. We all get lost there our first day," Rafael smiled. "Now, Liv, what can I help you with?" He turned his attention to her.

"The guy we arrested yesterday wants to make a deal. He’ll give us all the other guys he knows who are holding girls in exchange for a reduced sentence and protective custody," Olivia quickly switched to business mode.

"Tell him I’ll be in to discuss a deal first thing in the morning," Rafael sighed.

"Great, I’ll leave you two to whatever it is ADAs do," Olivia smiled, walking out of the office.

Rafael waved a hand at her as she left, then picked up a pile of papers from his desk and brought them over to a coffee table on the other side of the room. He motioned for me to sit down on the lounge next to the coffee table before retrieving his coffee and sandwich. He handed me some paperwork from the pile and directed me to read while he ate. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him trying to eat in manageable bites while fighting the urge to just devour the entire sandwich. It was clear this was his first meal of the day—or at least since breakfast. I felt a pang of guilt for not getting something more substantial. Mental note: find a good takeout place nearby to keep this man fed. Sonny would probably know a few spots.

I turned my attention back to the paperwork, my heart sinking as I read the case summary and saw who the defense attorney was.

"You're in for one hell of a fight here, Barba," I looked over at him.

"You got all that from just reading the case outline?" Rafael asked, taking the final bite of his sandwich.

"That, and the fact that the defense attorney is Buchanan. It's glaringly obvious from the outline what tactics he'll try to use," I sighed.

"So, you know about Buchanan?" Rafael smirked.

"And you, Cabot, Novak, Langan, Calhoun, Ellis... If they’ve worked in New York, I’ve likely studied them," I admitted, a little embarrassed.

"Know thine enemy," Rafael chuckled. "So walk me through it."

I nodded and began breaking down the case for Rafael. If Buchanan wasn’t the defense attorney, I’d say it was open and shut. But with the victim being a prostitute, it was a given that Buchanan would try to use that as a justification. Clearly, Rafael had already anticipated this, as there was an in-depth criminal record for the defendant and even evidence to make the victim look more like a saint. It was a strong case, and I told Rafael so—the real hurdle was Buchanan. We spent hours going over every piece of evidence, discussing everything, every possible defense, every argument that could be made. By the time we finished, the city outside was lit up with its nightlife. The clock on the wall read 9:30. Rafael had a massive smile on his face.

"You're every bit as good as Carisi said you would be," he smiled.

"I have to be," I replied with a small smile.

I could tell he wanted to press on my answer but held back, choosing to nod instead.

"So, you're happy to keep working for me?" Rafael asked.

"It would be my pleasure," I smiled.

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow at 8 at the 16th because, for every bit of good you are, you somehow managed to forget to pick up the files I asked for," Rafael smirked, my eyes widening in realization.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I completely forgot! Sonny is still working; I can run over to the 16th now and grab the files," I rushed to grab my phone, but before Rafael could speak, it rang. "Speak of the devil. Sonny, I was just about to call you."

"Great minds think alike. You still burning the midnight oil with Barba?" he chuckled.

"Yeah, I’m here with Barba. Why?" I asked, glancing at Rafael.

"Great! We’re all taking a break for dinner and wanted to see if you wanted to join us at Forlini’s?"

"That actually sounds amazing! We were just wrapping up here, so we’ll meet you there. Also, Sonny, could you bring along any cases you need us to look over? Please? I completely forgot to pick them up earlier," I added, feeling sheepish.

"Uh oh, first-day foul," Sonny laughed. "But yes, I can be an awesome big brother and bring them with me."

"Thank you, I owe you one," I hung up the phone and turned back to Barba. "The team is headed to Forlini’s for dinner and asked us to join."

"Sounds great to me," Rafael smiled.

We began packing up all the paperwork, slotting it back into the various files they had come from. Once everything was returned to its place, Rafael placed the files into a cabinet by his desk, grabbed his jacket, and slid it on while holding the office door open for me. I walked out as Rafael grabbed his briefcase and fell into step beside me, chatting about how, if he hadn’t been asked out for dinner with the team, he likely would have gone home and crashed without eating. I had to laugh and agree that I would have done the same.

I’d never been to Forlini’s, but Sonny had brought me food from there a few times, so I was looking forward to actually eating there for once. Rafael waved down a cab and told the driver where to go. When we pulled up in front of Forlini’s, Rafael had his wallet out and paid for the cab before I could protest. He climbed out first, holding the door open for me. My heart raced—he really was a gentleman.

Forlini’s was crowded, and Rafael placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me through the crowd. He said something about knowing where to find the others, but I couldn’t hear him over the noise. We came to a stop in front of a group of tables in the far back corner where Sonny, Fin, Amanda, Nick, and Olivia were already sitting, drinks in hand, laughing away.

"Should you be drinking if you’re still working?" Rafael chuckled, taking a seat and motioning for me to sit next to him.

"The only one here still working is Water Boy over there," Fin smirked, pointing at Sonny.

"Yeah, someone’s been neglecting their paperwork," Amanda laughed.

Sonny gave them a "stuff off" look before turning to me.

“Come è andato il primo giorno?” Sonny asked, leaning back in his chair. (How did the first day go?)

“È stato fantastico, perché?” I replied with a smile. (it was great, why?)

“Volevo solo assicurarmi che Barba ci andasse piano con te,” he said, a hint of concern in his voice. (I just wanted to make sure Barba went easy on you.)

“Ti preoccupi troppo,” I giggled, reaching for a menu in the middle of the table. (You worry too much)

It was at that point I noticed the entire table had fallen silent. Everyone was looking at Sonny and me with wide eyes, and Rafael looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. Clearly, Sonny hadn’t mentioned to anyone that he knew Italian.

“You speak Italian too?” Rafael was the first to break the silence.

“Uh, yes. Sonny never told any of you he could speak Italian?” I asked, looking around the table.

“No, he didn’t,” Olivia said, turning to Sonny. “What does Rafael mean by ‘you speak Italian too’?”

“Oh, I also speak Spanish,” I shrugged casually.

“Wow, Carisi, your sister’s amazing,” Nick smiled. “Veo que nos vamos a llevar bien, señorita.” (I can see we’re going to get along well, missy.)

“Hey, Amaro, eyes off my sister, alright?” Sonny pointed a finger at him, half-joking.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the two of them, and the rest of the table joined in. Rafael, however, seemed to be glaring at Nick. I decided it would be best to wait until it was just Rafael and me before asking what his problem with Nick was. I joined the conversation at the table, and the whole team treated me like I’d been working with them for years. I felt at ease with them faster than I had with anyone else. For the first time, I felt like I’d found where I belonged.

When dinner was over, Sonny handed the files I had left behind to Rafael and excused himself to return to the office. The others wandered off to their various homes, and Rafael offered to see me home, even though it meant traveling further than his own place. He hailed us another cab and held the door open while I climbed in. I gave the driver my address before turning to Rafael.

“Okay, spill it,” I said, watching him.

“What?” Rafael looked at me, caught off guard.

“You don’t like Nick. Why?” I asked directly.

“He’s a playboy. Ever since his wife divorced him, he’s been running through women like he needs them to breathe,” Rafael said, looking out the cab window. “I just don’t want to see him do the same to you. He’s already slept with Amanda and half the female officers in the 16th, so I wouldn’t put it past him to target you next.”

“I can take care of myself, but thank you for your concern,” I smiled, appreciating his protective nature.

The cab came to a stop in front of mine and Sonny’s apartment building. I wished Rafael goodnight before making my way inside, desperate for sleep before I had to be at the 16th at 8 a.m.

[idonthavefriends46]

Yandere!Sonny Carisi x Female Reader

Warnings: Yandere themes, possessiveness, obsession, manipulation, emotional control, unhealthy relationship dynamics.

Summary: Reader catches up with an old colleague and Sonny gets jealous and possessive over her.

The precinct was buzzing with its usual midday energy—phones ringing, paperwork shuffling, detectives moving from desk to desk with coffee cups and case files in hand. You were used to the chaos. It had become your white noise, a background hum that barely registered as you focused on wrapping up the latest case.

But there was one thing—or rather, one person—who could always break through the noise.

Sonny Carisi.

Your partner. Your shadow. The man who had been glued to your side since the moment you were paired together.

At first, you had chalked it up to his natural protectiveness, the same kind he showed toward victims, witnesses, even the barista who got his coffee order wrong but “looked like she was havin’ a rough day.” But then you started to notice the way he watched you. The way he hovered when another man spoke to you, his jaw tight, hands clenched at his sides like he was holding himself back from something dangerous.

And today?

Today was no different.

You just hadn’t realized it yet.

“Hey, I know that face. That’s the case closed face.”

You laughed as you turned, looking up at the familiar voice. “Damn, McAllister, you still think you can read me that well?”

Detective Jake McAllister grinned. He had been your colleague back when you first started in SVU, before he transferred to another unit. You hadn’t seen him in over a year, and running into him today had been a pleasant surprise.

“Some things never change,” he said, leaning casually against your desk. “I hear you and Carisi are partners now.”

“Yeah, it’s been—”

“You like him?”

The question caught you off guard. “I—yeah, of course. He’s a great detective.”

McAllister gave you a look, one eyebrow raised. “That’s not what I meant, but okay.”

You rolled your eyes. “Shut up.”

He chuckled. “Relax, I’m just messing with you. Anyway, I gotta head out, but it was good seeing you. We should grab a drink sometime, catch up properly.”

“Yeah,” you said with a smile. “That’d be nice.”

You barely had time to sit back down at your desk before you felt his presence.

“Hey.”

You turned your head, surprised to find Sonny standing beside you. Hands in his pockets, casual slouch, easygoing smile—almost like his usual self.

“Hey,” you greeted, still slightly distracted as you shuffled some case files into a pile.

“So, uh… who was that guy?”

The question was smooth. Too smooth. Like it was just an afterthought. Like he wasn’t already running every possible scenario in his head.

You glanced up at him. “McAllister?”

Sonny hummed, nodding. “Yeah. Didn’t recognize him.”

You shrugged. “He used to be in SVU. We worked together before he transferred out.”

“Ah.” He rocked back on his heels, eyes flickering toward the door where McAllister had left. “Seemed… friendly.”

You let out a small laugh. “I mean, yeah. We were close back then. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him.”

Sonny smiled, but there was something in his eyes—something too sharp, too assessing. “Close, huh?”

You hesitated, sensing a shift. “Not like that.”

His smile didn’t waver, but his fingers tapped against the edge of your desk. “You sure?”

Your brow furrowed. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Just sayin’,” he said, voice still light, still easy. But his eyes… his eyes had darkened, locked onto you like a predator waiting for the right moment. “Guy like that, lookin’ at you the way he was… talkin’ to you all close, smilin’ like he had a claim on you…”

You sighed. “Sonny, come on. It wasn’t like that.”

He tilted his head, watching you carefully. “No?”

“No,” you insisted.

Silence.

Then, slowly—so slowly it sent a shiver down your spine—his entire demeanor changed.

The slouch disappeared. The lighthearted act evaporated. He leaned in, resting both hands on your desk, effectively caging you in.

“That so?”

Your breath hitched.

His voice was different now—lower, quieter, dripping with something dangerous.

“You smiled at him,” he murmured. “Laughed at his jokes.”

“Because we were catching up—”

“You touched his arm.”

“It was nothing—”

“Nothing?” The word was almost mocking. His fingers twitched against the desk, his whole body coiled tight, like he was holding something back. “He asked you out.”

You swallowed. “He said we should grab a drink sometime.”

Sonny hummed, nodding slowly. “And you said yes.”

“I—”

“Didn’t you?”

His voice was like a vice, squeezing the air from your lungs.

“I—Sonny, I didn’t mean—”

“Didn’t mean what?” he pressed. His knuckles whitened against the desk. “Didn’t mean to let him think he had a chance? Didn’t mean to act like you’re available?”

Your pulse spiked. “I am available, Sonny, I—”

Wrong answer.

His jaw clenched, and for a long, suffocating moment, he just stared at you.

And then, very quietly—very deliberately—he exhaled.

“Sweetheart.” The word dripped with something possessive, something final. He shook his head, a slow, almost pitying gesture. “No, you’re not.”

You blinked. “What?”

“You’re not available,” he repeated, his tone eerily calm. “You’re mine.”

Your breath caught. “Sonny, I—”

“I don’t share,” he murmured. “And I sure as hell don’t let some other guy think he’s got a shot with what’s mine.”

It wasn’t a declaration. It wasn’t a confession.

It was a fact.

“Sonny—”

“You won’t see him again.”

The words hit you like a command. Unrelenting. Absolute.

Your throat tightened. “Sonny, you can’t just—”

His hand moved—slow, deliberate—trailing up your arm before his fingers curled around your wrist. Not tight. Not painful. But firm. Claiming.

“You won’t see him again.”

Your heart pounded against your ribs.

You knew—God, you knew—this was a fight you wouldn’t win.

Because Sonny Carisi didn’t lose.

And that look in his eyes? That slow, satisfied curve of his lips?

He already knew it.

“…I won’t see him again,” you whispered.

Silence.

Then, a soft, approving hum.

“Good girl.”

A shiver ran down your spine.

Sonny squeezed your wrist once—gentle, almost affectionate—before finally stepping back.

But the weight of his words, the weight of his claim—that didn’t leave you.

It never would.

And the terrifying thing?

You weren’t even sure if you wanted it to.

[slvtrlv]

~ WHAT WE LEFT BEHIND ~

part 4. Sun and fog

Relationship: Rafael Barba x Female Reader.

Warning: little bit spanish, 18+, smut

Words: 2776

A/N: comments and reblogs are appreciated

_ _ _

The early morning light makes its way through the cracks between the curtains, the rays of the sun run over Rafael's sleepy face. He wasn't going to fall asleep on the couch, but my head was resting so gently on his shoulder that he didn't want to disturb me. He could feel my slow, warm, and steady breathing. His arm was wrapped around me, protecting and comforting, as if it had always been there in its place.

Once again, sunlight filtered through the curtains and Rafael blinked, then moved slightly, trying not to wake me up. But it was too late, my sleepy and soft eyes flew open. I didn't pull away when I noticed the position we had spent the night in together.

— Good morning - I whispered, still staying close to him.

— Morning - he murmured, his voice still hoarse and low from sleep.

— You're warm - I said softly. For a moment we remained in this position: my hand was on his chest, and his fingers were lazily and absently tracing circles on my arm.

— You too - he replied, looking at me with a smile. It wasn't the temperature, it was the fact that after so many days away from each other, we were finally able to feel each other. My hand slid to his face, my thumb tracing the line of his jaw, where a fresh stubble was already showing.

— You look different - I said softly, feeling every part of his skin — But you still look like the Rafael I loved.

— I've never stopped loving you, Y/N - Rafael said with a heavy sigh. My lips parted as if I wanted to say something, but instead I leaned closer to him and kissed him slowly, hesitantly. The kiss wasn't greedy or hasty, it was careful, as if we were both afraid it might all disappear if we moved too fast. When we pulled away from each other, neither of us could move.

— I'm scared - I whispered against his lips.

— Me too, amado - he nodded, keeping his hands on my face.

— But I want it. You. Us... - I said, looking into his eyes and noticing something flashed in his gaze. And that's how something real, fragile, new, but growing began to take shape again.

Back at the special forces, things quickly got confusing. Olivia was standing by a murder bulletin board, putting together photos of missing children, human traffickers, and adoption agencies on the black market.

— It's not just one person - Olivia said — It's a whole network.

— Interpol has recorded activity in the Bronx that coincides with the route of our last suspect. The two previous abduction cases involved the same disposable phone numbers. Now imagine, we have a name: Arlo Cavicchi. A former lawyer who was deprived of the right to practice law. His file is closed, but he rotates in non-profit organizations that support displaced children – Rollins says, passing a new folder to her colleagues.

— To put it simply, if you translate it, he hides in plain sight like a rat - Fin muttered.

— We need to get to him, Barba. He's smart. He knows the law. But you know the law better - Olivia said, turning to Barba.

— Give me the folder. I'll tear him apart - Rafael replied through gritted teeth, nodding towards the folder.

— Are you sure you're okay? You just brought your child back into your life. Do you really want to take on this case, Barba? - Carisi bent down and looked at Rafael.

— I have to do this because of my child - Rafael said tensely, looking up.

Arlo Cavicchi's office was located in a corner of a dilapidated building in Riverdale. It said «The Children's Future Initiative» on the outside. Inside, it looked like a cemetery: the walls were covered with outdated educational posters, and the air smelled of dust and mold. Rafael Barba entered the room alone. Cavicchi was already over 60 years old, with gray hair, clean glasses and a kind smile. With a face that would probably fool thousands of people.

— You're not from the police - Arlo said without looking up — and as I understand it, you're not here to donate.

— I'm here because the children are missing. And they are all related to you - Barba picked up the folder with documents with a familiar movement.

— I help children, and I don't harm them - Cavicchi said with a smile and without batting an eye.

— No. You just place them. You are laundering their lives with the help of financial agencies and falsified custody orders. It's not a help. This is selling people - Barba said firmly, coming closer. The smile disappeared from Cavicchi's face, he got up and quietly locked the drawer with the documents behind him.

— You have no proof - Cavicchi said sharply.

— Not yet - Barba's eyes narrowed. Not yet. There was silence for a moment. And then:

— You have no idea what kind of people you're dealing with - Cavicchi said in a low and venomous voice — Before you know it, they'll be in your life.

Rafael Barba froze. Into his own life.

— Was that a threat? - Barba asked coldly.

— No. I'm just reminding you that good men have children too.… They have weaknesses - Cavicchi grinned. And Rafael's blood froze in his veins.

After talking to Arlo Cavicchi, Rafael did not return to his home. He came straight to me. I opened the door in surprise, but when I saw his face, I silently stepped aside and let him inside. He walked in didn't say anything for a while just exhaled as if he'd been holding his breath all day. I came up behind him and put my hand on his back.

— What happened, Rafi? - I asked him. Stroking his back, feeling his muscles tense with my hand.

— He knows – he slowly turned to face me, my face changed.

— Knows what? - I asked, worried.

— About Alfi. About you - Rafael said, taking my hands in his.

— How? – I paled at what I heard.

— I do not know - Rafael whispered - But he said it as a warning. And I believed him.

I squeezed his hand and looked at him.

— Then we should be more careful. We'll protect Alfi, and we'll protect each other - I said carefully, and Rafael looked at me for a long moment, then hugged me.

— I can't lose either of you, Y/N - he whispered in my ear, squeezing me tighter.

— You won't lose - I said fiercely — We've lived without you before, Rafi. But now you're here with us. And we will not give up. We'll do it together…

And he interrupted me with a kiss, harder this time, but still with a sense of awe. He held me like if he let go, I would disappear, this could be the last moment we had. And I kissed him back, just as passionately.

We only broke away from each other when we heard the footsteps of small feet on the hallway floor. Alfi appeared with sleepy eyes.

— Daddy? - Alfi stammered sleepily.

— Hey, buddy. Sorry to wake you up - Rafa said, turning to his son.

— Can you and mommy sleep with me tonight? - Alfie asked, rubbing his eyes. I looked at Rafael and my heart sank.

— Sure, hijo - Rafa said, getting down on his knees and scooping Alfi up in his arms. We went to the Alfi’s bedroom together. Together we covered Alfi with a blanket, and for the first time Rafael Barba sat down on the edge of the bed and told a bedtime story – not from a folder, not from law textbooks, but one that he composed himself. About a brave boy with a green dinosaur and a very tired lawyer dad who could still be a hero. I watched him leaning on the doorframe, and was touched by how good Rafael was with our son. This man, who once left without saying goodbye, was now the safest place our son knew. And maybe, just maybe, he was my safe place too.

When we lay down, Alfi was already dozing off between us, pressing his small body against me. Rafael did not move, gently stroking his son's hair with his fingertips until he was sure that he was fast asleep.

— You're doing well - I whispered.

— I had a good assistant - Rafael looked up with a calm smile.

— You're lucky he didn't cross-examine you - I grinned, my eyes tired but soft — He would have won.

We lay there for a while, still watching Alfi's breathing, as if afraid that if we turned away, the world would turn upside down again. But in the end, we dimmed the lights, left the room, and closed the door behind us. It was warm between us, while the hallway was dark, if count the soft light of the kitchen lamp. As I walked past him towards the kitchen, Rafael gently reached out and took my hand. I stopped, turning to face him. I keep thinking that I've already lost a lot of time with him. And now this case, this man, reminds me that the clock doesn't stop just because I want it to.

— You're here now. You're back - I said, lowering my voice and moving closer to him.

— I don't want to waste a time - he said softly, and there was desire in his voice — I don't just want to be in this life, Y/N. I want you. Still. Always.

— Then show me - I tell him breathlessly.

And before he could respond, I kissed him, clutching his lapels with my hands. He pulled me closer to him, returning the kiss, allowing the years-long tension between us to dissipate. Now there was no hesitation, no doubt about the time. We move through the apartment slowly, towards my bedroom with quiet urgency. Rafael runs his warm hands under my sweater, running all over my back, feeling the softness of my skin and taking sweater off me. At this time, I switch to his neck, gently sucking and nibbling at his skin. Taking off his jacket, throwing it somewhere to the side. Now it's time for his shirt, I quickly undo the buttons and run my hands over his torso, feeling how every muscle responds to my touch.The space between us was hot with emotions, pain, and new discoveries. Every touch to the skin was something memorable. Every breath was something returned.

When we finally got to the bed, hitting a couple of corners along the way, he laid me down gently without haste, supporting my head with his hand. It was reverent, as if he had been waiting in silence for this moment for many years, when his heart was broken only to find his breath again.

— Nunca he dejado de amarte - he whispered against my neck. His hand went down to my shorts and he took them off, along with my panties. He ran his hand along my thigh and touched the most desirable place, which had been without his care for a long time. At first, it was light touches to the clitoris, but when he heard a soft moan, he immediately plunged two fingers into my pussy, inserting them inside and then back.

— I know - I answered him, panting with excitement — But don't run away now. Don't disappear.

And then he kissed me again and everything slowed down, running his tongues over my lips so that I could let him inside. His rhythm of fingers inside me remained smooth, but faster. He already felt how wet I was for him and couldn't wait any longer. Tearing himself away from me for a couple of seconds to take off his trousers and underpants, Rafael leaned back towards me, looking straight into my eyes, as if asking my permission. And after making sure that I didn't mind, he penetrated my pussy with his horny cock in one thrust. I let out a groan that he missed so much and hadn't heard from me in the last 6 years.

— So tight - he growled, feeling my pussy walls tighten around his cock.

— It's all yours, Rafi - I moaned, keeping my hands on his shoulders and my legs wrapped around his waist. He kept moving, caressing my hand. He bent down to my neck, bit it slightly, and made a couple of deep thrusts while my nails dug into his back, leaving scratches. I helped him with my hips, lifting them to his rhythm, and each time his push felt deeper and deeper.

After that, his attention shifted to my breasts, where he immediately wrapped his lips around one of the nipples sucking, and with one hand began to caress my other breast. And I turned into a moaning mess, writhing under the weight of his powerful body.

— I can't take it anymore, I'm going to cum - I breathed, lifting his head from my chest and whispering in his ear.

— Then cum. Now, Y/N- he growled, picking up the pace and kissed me. I moaned in the kiss, feeling a big wave of bliss cover me from head to toe.

At first, I felt my legs shaking, and I let go of Rafael's waist. He noticed this and put his hand on one of my legs feeling my tremor. And then there was a strong discharge. And I cum pulsing around Rafael's cock, enveloping him with my milk. And he couldn't stand it, I felt a few twitches of his cock and a growl coming from his throat. He came right inside me, filling me completely, leaving his seed as deep as possible and coming from above, breathing heavily.

And at that moment, there was silence. No courtroom. There is no threat. The clock is not working. Only two naked bodies covered in sweat. Just us. And under each other's breath, hugging and holding each other as close as possible, we fell asleep.

It was over one o'clock at night when Rafael kissed my head and slipped out of bed grabbed the file folder that Olivia had given him. He couldn't read it in detail because he didn't want to do it. But now that I was asleep and Alfie was safe, the prosecutor was awake in him. He flipped through the pages, looking at the transcripts, pausing at the list of international calls made through the non-existent charity office that Cavicchi used in Prague. Rafael frowned. There was a very familiar name at the bottom of the witness statement. Santiago Navarro. In his first year at the prosecutor's office, Barba led a criminal case that almost cost him his license. This man disappeared after the conviction was overturned.

— No, it can't be - Barba muttered. But it was possible, because Navarro was connected to Cavicchi. Many years ago, they worked together in a proposed child rehabilitation program in Cuba. It was a program that

Barba's own mother had advised him to stay away from when he was still young and angry enough to fight everything in the world.

He ran his hand over his lip. It wasn't an accident. This case wasn't just a criminal investigation, it was related to him and his past. With enemies he had made long before Alfi was born.

The following morning, when Rafael Barba met with Olivia Benson, the air was stale, the city was already buzzing with sirens and traffic. He slid the folder across the table to her.

— It's not just about human trafficking - he said — It's about revenge.

— From whom? - she frowned.

— From Navarro. And maybe from other people like him. The people I was hunting. People who lost everything in court. Yes, they use Cavicchi’s front agencies to launder children, but they also target families that exposed them - he said firmly, his eyes blazing with anger.

— You mean it's personal? - Liv leaned closer to him. Barba nodded with a stony face.

— Now it's not just about saving children. It's about protecting our children - Rafael exhaled, feeling like the whole world had fallen on his shoulders again. Olivia clenched her jaw.

— We'll get through this. We'll look after you and Alfi - Liv promised.

— No – said Barba, getting up – I'm tired of playing defense.

— Rafa... don't go back there - Olivia looked at him, and her heart skipped a beat.

— I've already done it - he said confidently — Now I'm going to burn it to the ground.

[pascalispretty]

Sonny Carisi and the cabin/camping prompt ♥️

summertime, and the livin' is easy

Sonny Carisi x F!Reader

Rating: Gen

Word Count: 1.6k

Tags: fluff, vacation Sonny, implied friends to lovers, Sonny being adorable, Sonny being a hypochondriac

Summary: Sonny has special plans for your anniversary. (ao3)

A/N: Written as a request for @storiesofsvu's birthday bingo, filling the square 'Camping/Cabin Retreat'!

Though it was well into the evening, the sun still shone brightly as Sonny led you outside. The cabin that the two of you had rented for the long weekend backed onto a pretty lake, surrounded by trees. It was a postcard-perfect place, one that you had happily agreed to renting as soon as Sonny had forwarded you the link.

Sonny, being Sonny, found a way to improve upon perfection.

He had packed you off to shower with the promise of plans for dinner, and he had certainly delivered. The little stone-flagged terrace at the back of the cabin has been cleared, the patio furniture shifted to the sides and the chairs liberated of their cushions. Just beyond, on the grass between the terrace and the jetty, Sonny has spread blankets and pillows out for a picnic.

Calling it a picnic is a disservice, really. There are citronella candles staked into the grass to keep bugs away, and a champagne bucket cooling in the middle of the blankets. There’s already a charcuterie board laid out as a starter, covered with a glass cloche to protect it from insects. Before you can take a step further towards his carefully laid-out display, you turn and throw your arms around his neck.

“You did all this for me?” You ask into his shoulder, holding him close against you. One of his large hands comes to rest between your shoulder blades, his bare skin on yours making you shiver in spite of the heat.

“Of course I did. Happy anniversary, Doll.”

“You’re making my scrapbooking efforts look bad.” With the cost of the cabin, the two of you had agreed not to buy one another gifts to commemorate the two-year anniversary of your first date. You had, instead, emptied the keepsake box under your bed out and pasted everything – ticket stubs and flower petals and Polaroids – into a book that you’d given him earlier that day.

“I couldn’t ever make that look bad, Doll. I still can’t believe you kept all that,” he says softly, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “C’mon, let’s sit down before the ice melts.”

The two of you take your seats on the cushions pilfered from the patio furniture, your sundress riding up past your knees as you sit. You can’t help but notice Sonny stealing a glance at the glimpse of your thigh on display, narrowly missing his own nose with the pop of the champagne cork. Instead it flies over his shoulder, landing somewhere behind him in the grass. You can’t help but giggle at the look of surprise on Sonny’s face, and soon enough he’s laughing along with you.

Still giggling, he pours you both a glass of champagne. You take a moment just to admire him as he pours; the flex of his hand around the neck of the bottle, the way his Fordham t-shirt stretches over his shoulders, the lock of hair falling across his forehead. Handsome and kind and thoughtful; you wonder sometimes how you ever got so lucky.

The food is, as always, delicious. You’ll never get tired of Sonny’s cooking, his ability to make even basic meals taste incredible. You’re not sure you’ll ever be over his garlic bread, which you had pronounced as ‘better than sex’ before you started dating and which had earned you a flushed look from Sonny.

He leaves you with the last of the prosciutto roses, heading back into the cabin to fetch the main course. You nearly squeal with childlike glee when you realise what he’s made for dinner, barely resisting the urge to grab the serving bowl from him as he settles back down on the blankets.

“I cannot believe you made penne alla vodka. Did you really get all that from the farmer’s market?” You ask in disbelief as he spoons it onto your plate. He had left you browsing the cute bookstore in town while he went shopping for food earlier, but you hadn’t thought he’d bought this much. It smells mouth-watering, topped with just the right amount of cheese. You dig in with indecent haste once Sonny passes the plate to you, a soft smile on his handsome face.

“Nah. I made the sauce before we came and brought a jar with me. And the pasta is store-bought.” Before Sonny, you would never have thought of having any other kind of pasta. Now, it’s not unusual for you to come home to Sonny with flour on his cheek, kneading away at dough to slice into neat noodles or perfect squares for ravioli.

It’s not the most complicated dish he makes, but it’s one he knows you like. He made it the very first time he cooked for you after you’d finally started dating. Much later he had confessed to elaborate plans for a veal dish that hadn’t worked; the penne alla vodka had been a last-minute replacement, and you had loved it all the same.

The conversation comes in fits and starts as you both eat your pasta. Sonny has plans for an early morning run around the lake tomorrow, which means you have plans to come down with a headache tomorrow morning. The sun slowly sinks lower in the sky, casting longer shadows and turning everything soft and golden.

You both have to take a breather after dinner. Sonny reclines back against the cushions, his long legs sprawled out in front of him.

“Maybe we should leave this set up,” he says, stretching out. “I could take a nap out here.”

“It’s very comfortable. Be nice to read out here.”

“Maybe we should do that after dinner. It’ll probably still be light out,” Sonny suggests, his shirt riding up just enough to give you a glimpse of his stomach. He sits back up, rearranging his legs underneath him.

“Can you do me a favour please, Doll?” He asks, rubbing his side. “Could you grab my water bottle from the refrigerator? I think I need a break from the champagne.”

“Of course! I’ll be right back.” Stuffed full as you are, it takes you a moment longer to stand than perhaps it should. In the interests of saving time, you grab the pasta dishes and take them inside on your way, stacking them by the sink to worry about later. Grabbing Sonny’s water, you return outside, the grass soft under your bare feet.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Sonny smiles gratefully up at you before taking a sip of water. “Oh hey, that candle behind you has gone out.” You’re already sat back down, so you half-turn to see what he’s talking about. The citronella candle staked in the grass a foot or so away from you has indeed gone out.

“Here, you should relight it. I’d hate for you to get bit.” He hands you a long lighter, and you roll your eyes as you turn around to light it. It’s far enough away that you have to get on your knees, your back to Sonny as to try to produce a flame from the lighter.

“More like you don’t wanna get bit. I’ve told you before Sonny, you can’t get malaria in New York.” Finally, a flame appears at the tip of the lighter, and you relight the tall candle. Satisfied that the fire has caught, you start to turn around. “There, are you-” You freeze midsentence. While you were turned around, Sonny moved.

He’s on one knee in front of you, an open ring box in his hand.

“Sonny-?” You start, your brain not quite catching up to the image in front of you.

“I had a whole speech planned out. About- about all the little things I love about you, and how even when we were just friends I was crazy in love with you. And how much I love the way my family loves you, even when you help my sisters pick on me. I don’t know, I guess I shoulda written it down, but – I love you so much, Doll. More than anything. And I wanna spend the rest of my life doing that, so will you marry me?”

Sonny’s beautiful blue eyes look glassy with emotion, his breath catching just enough for you to notice.

“Oh, Sonny-” Your stupid, traitorous voice cracks, and you furiously rub your prickling eyes. “Dominick Carisi, of course I’ll marry you.”

He nearly drops the ringbox in his haste to pull you close, and you go eagerly into his arms. His kisses are frantic, peppering your lips, your cheek, your temple. It’s only when one of you manages to knock over one of the champagne glasses that you come back to yourselves, laughing as you try to soak up the spill with napkins.

“I think you’re supposed to put that on my finger,” you say teasingly, unable to keep the gigantic smile off your face. Sonny’s dimples are on full display as he takes the ring from the box and slides it onto your finger. It’s a beautiful ring; it looks vintage, and something you’ll gladly wear for the rest of your life.

Through a mix of laughter and tears, you grab Sonny’s hand and squeeze tightly.

“I can’t believe you!” You exclaim, a worried look flitting briefly across his face. “We said we weren’t gonna buy each other an anniversary present!”

“This isn’t an anniversary present, Doll, it’s an engagement ring. It doesn’t count as a gift.”

“God, spoken like a lawyer,” you say, having to rub your eyes again to chase away any lingering tears. Rather than continuing to sit opposite him on the blanket, you move to sit beside him, his arm immediately coming up to wrap around your shoulders.

“You’ll have to get used to it. You’re gonna be married to one,” he says, pleased. You tilt your head up to kiss him again, softly and slowly. When you finally break apart, you bring up your hand to cup his jaw, engagement ring glinting in the light of the sunset.

“I can’t wait to be married to you.”

Taglist:

@avengersfan25 @misscharlielulu @apenny4thots @irishavengersassemble

[etclouie-navigation]

𝐄𝐓𝐂𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐈𝐄'𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐏𝐒

— back to navigation?

— from oldest to newest, post date's unknown // 30 reqs listed here

— all of my writing can be found under #[ 💌 ] louie writes —, and requested fics come under #[ 🤍 ] anon asks — and #[ ❤️ ] asks —

— ୨୧₊˚ protector

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ “Hey I was wondering if you could write for Luke Alvez where maybe y/n works with Penelope and she asks Luke to teach her self defence, they have a friendship much like Luke and Penelope where they make fun of each other but also secretly pining after each other but thinks the other one doesn’t feel the same. So it’s like lots of tension where he is rough but gentle with her (soft dom vibes) because he wants her to be able to protect herself and ends very steamy and passionate “

— ୨୧₊˚ loving hands

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ “Heeeeyyyy, just came across your acc and wanted to see if you'd be willing to write a deadpool smutfic, where fem reader gives him a massage after a long day >:)”

— ୨୧₊˚ falling into you

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ “Could you do a Luke Alvez x reader where she had unrequited love for Reid and he has unrequited love for Penelope so they decide to be FWB after being rejected and end up falling in love? “

— ୨୧₊˚ little lamb

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ “can you make another one shot for rick, please? age gap and *cough* cream pi3? 🤭😉 Hope u open for this one request, and have a good day, thx!”

— ୨୧₊˚ eyes that know

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ “Hi, saw that youre taking omb requests 🩵 Can I get one with reader is secretly in love with Spooky and only Sad Eyes knows?”

— ୨୧₊˚ cold hands, warm mischief

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ “poly!maraurders with a s/o whos hands are always cold?”

— ୨୧₊˚ in his arms

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ “tom riddle x reader who has low iron and forgets to take her supplements?? how would he react if his partner just suddenly passed out or felt nauseous? :3”

— ୨୧₊˚ a whisper of home

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ “Heyyyy ! first of all i really love your work ! I have a request for a Darylxreader…Can you make thr reader having an accent? Like a French accent pls!! I’m french myself and i would love to see that!!!🩷🩷”

— ୨୧₊˚ adored

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "Babe you can pick the topic but I would LOVE some adoring sex with barba!!! Maybe with an age gap?"

— ୨୧₊˚ don't let go

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "Hii! I love your stuff! Could you pls do a Poly marauders x reader. but all of them are a year ahead of her and shes really anxious about them graduating because shes really shy? If not no worries! Thank you so much!"

— ୨୧₊˚ please stay

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "part 2 to the ‘get out’ luke alvez fic? need a sweet resolution :("

— ୨୧₊˚ crosshair confessions

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "would you be willing to write a sonny carisi fic where reader is a detective (detective sonny, they're partners!!) and she is caught in a hostage situation and sonny realizes how much he loves her, as more than just his partner/friend?? and then she survives and they end up confessing maybe?? no worries if this doesn't inspire you <3"

— ୨୧₊˚ the edge of control

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "Haiii can you do like a sub!rafe X bitchy reader please"

— ୨୧₊˚ opposites attract

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "hii, how are you? i have a request for fred weasley. so imagine fred being absolutely head over heels for a ravenclaw a year younger than him, but she genuinely has no idea! she is kinda the opposite of him so she just can’t wrap her head around the fact that he is into her! thank you so much 💓"

— ୨୧₊˚ softest beginnings

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "hi!! how would you feel about writing some super soft first time smut with our under appreciated man steve murphy? 👀❤️"

— ୨୧₊˚ breaking the best friend code

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "Hi! Could you make a fic about falling in love with Fred Weasley but with the trope best friends older brother. You can choose who is the best friends and what house is the reader. Thank youuuu"

— ୨୧₊˚ the future in his arms

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "Sonny wanting to start a family after a year of being married but doesnt know how to bring the subject up. Maybe some gentle yet passionate smut"

— ୨୧₊˚ behind the mask

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "hi!! I was wondering if you could write a billy loomis fic? smut or horror it doesn't really matter much. I haven't seen any lately and I would really appreciate it! thank u <33"

— ୨୧₊˚ jealousy's edge

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "Hello, I have a lot of requests ahahah. I imagine Emily and Reader who are not in a relationship but it teases a lot. Emily becomes jealous when a suspect or tara starts to get too close to reader"

— ୨୧₊˚ strength in silence

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "Emily and reader her very friend, and Emily begins to feel new things when she sees reader doing a somewhat muscular interrogation"

— ୨୧₊˚ onstage confessions

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "rockstar!sirius black x ex girlfriend!reader where he invites her onstage at a sold out show  and confesses that he still loves her"

— ୨୧₊˚ behind the song

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "more rockstar!sirius ideas sorry :0 he releases a new song that’s like about his and ex girlfriend!readers relationship so the media speculates and he invites her over to talk about it"

— ୨୧₊˚ still in the picture

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "rockstar!sirius and ex girlfriend!photographer reader that gets hired by his team to shoot pictures while he’s on tour they haven’t spoke since they broke up but there’s still tension and feelings between them"

— ୨୧₊˚ written in tension

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "songwriter!ex girlfriend reader who sirius’s band wants to hire but there’s still tension between them but they need to be professional"

— ୨୧₊˚ saftey in her arms

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "messy breakup with rockstar!sirius where he’s been like self destructing and realizes he’s lost his way so reaches out to reader for a second chance and to help clean up his act (professionally and personally)"

— ୨୧₊˚ the calm in his fire

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "girlfriend!reader being rockstar!sirius’s anchor when performing and your gets overwhelming"

— ୨୧₊˚ fames shadow

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "underground!singer sirius who meets reader and they hit it off, but as he starts to grow bigger he fears losing her because of his fame"

— ୨୧₊˚ the girl that got him

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "rockstar!sirius being a womaniser who all his fans fawn over and dream of being able to tame him but it’s actually bsf!reader that manages to tame him and get him to settle down"

— ୨୧₊˚ layers of love

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "college!lip gallagher x art major! girlfriend reader and she paints his back one day"

— ୨୧₊˚ comfort and care

╰┈➤ˎˊ˗ "maybe some fluffy smut with Ron Weasley?🤭 like, him talking you through it and being gentle with good aftercare?"

requests can always be made here

© 2025 etclouie. I do not condone reposting, plagiarising or translating my work in any form. my blog is 18+, strictly no minors !!

[sematarygirls]

Ooh okay! What about Sonny being obsessed with a detective and he’s an ADA? Maybe he recently divorced Amanda and he’s been lusting over the reader. He ends up stalking and kidnapping them, maybe not a traditional “kidnapping” but he drugs reader at dinner in his apartment and keeps reader there? Feel free to change anything to make it more comfortable for you!

꒰ i need him to kidnap me so bad, bro ꒱ 𝅄

  ／ you had grown quite close to ada carisi over the past couple weeks. you felt bad for the guy, honestly. he seemed so stressed—a neverending mountain of cases always seeming to be stacked on his desk—and he also seemed incredibly sad ever since he returned from his temporary leave from the da's office.

you noticed how he seemed to be throwing himself head first into work more than usual and couldn't help but wonder what was wrong. you had a nasty habit of always needing to fix other people's problems. you didn't like unresolved conflicts and seeing how they effected people, so you started trying to befriend him.

surprisingly, he was very receptive to your gestures of baked goods and checking up on him every now and then. in fact, he was very enthusiastic to get to know you more.

of course, you brushed this off. you'd heard that he was a particularly friendly guy, and after learning of his recent divorce—the very reason for his aforementioned absence—you figured he just needed a friend, someone to talk to.

admittedly, sonny had never noticed you before. he was always so caught up with work and amanda and her daughters, but now that he had noticed you, he never wanted to let you go. you were the most attractive person he'd ever seen, and your kindness was so alluring. you were so soft, a rarity in this world, and practically unheard of in this field. he felt a fierce need to protect you that he'd never felt before.

it wasn't his proudest moment when he'd followed you home. he told himself he just wanted to make sure you were safe. he knew better than anyone that anything could happen, especially in the middle of the night on a new york street.

and once he realized that you didn't even notice that you were being followed, well, he just knew he had to keep following you. it was for your own safety. you were so naive and trusting; you needed someone to look after you—someone like him.

and so he began to stalk you. though, he didn't like that word. it was so harsh, so criminal, and what he was doing was out of the goodness of his own heart. he was simply looking out for you.

he watched you from a distance, observing your daily routine of going out for breakfast before work. you went at the same time every day to the same place, always sitting in the same table.

he tsked. you were just asking for someone to try something. your routine was too predictable, too easy to follow. you were lucky that you had someone like him to look out for you.

all throughout this, you were completely unaware of his presence constantly looming, always watching. you continued up appearances at work, always smiling and joking with him. you two started growing close, very close.

you were so happy to have such a kind man to call your friend. he was always offering to take you out to eat and calling you to check in. he cared about you, and you cared about him.

that's why, when he invited you over for dinner at his apartment, you enthusiastically accepted the offer. you thought the intimate environment would allow you two to get to know eachother better, something you were eagerly looking forward to. you were dying to know all about him, your excitement showing through when you showed up half an hour early.

you two talked and laughed as he made you dinner, eventually sitting down to eat. it was so comfortable, so normal. you never would have expected the sinister plan that was going to unfold at the hands of someone you considered such a close friend.

"wow, sonny, that was incredible," you grinned as you finished up your food, tilting your wine glass to your lips to drink the last bit remaining. you hadn't noticed the way he stared intensely everytime you took a sip, a satisfied smile pulling at his lips when you finished the glass.

"i'm glad you liked it," he said, eyeing you oddly, like he was expecting something. "i love having someone to cook for."

"well, you're very good at it," you complimented him. he was so sweet to do this for you, to invite you over and cook for you. suddenly, you felt a wave of nausea hit you, your bright smile faltering. "um," you cleared your throat. "could i use your bathroom?"

"yeah, of course," he nodded, smiling. "it's the first door on your right." he pointed down the hallway. you smiled gratefully and stood, feeling lightheaded. you blinked, your vision starting to blur as you gripped the edge of the table, stumbling. you were suddenly feeling very strange. "are you okay?" he asked, feigning concern as he made his way to your side, wrapping his arm around your waist to keep you upright.

"i just-" you felt your limbs growing heavier by the second. "something's wrong," you gripped him for support.

"geez, i didn't think you were such a lightweight," he laughed, wrapping both arms securely around your waist. even now, you were still completely oblivious to what he'd done.

"i-i think i'm gonna- gonna..." you drifted off, your eyes drooping shut as your body fell limp. his grip around you kept you from falling to the floor. he hooked an arm under your legs, lifting you up to carry you bridal style to his bedroom.

he laid you gently on the bed, smiling fondly as he brushed your hair from your face. you looked so peaceful, so safe. he reached into his bedside table, retrieving his old handcuffs from when he was a detective and locking one around your wrist and the other to the bedframe to keep you from leaving.

he needed to keep you safe and sound, and the only way to ensure that would happen was if you were with him. he could look after you, take care of you, keep you from doing stupid things—it was the only way to ensure that you stayed out of danger.

he had to do it.

he really hoped that you would understand when you woke up, and he explained that it was for your own good, but he knew that, if you didn't at first, you would in time. you would learn to appreciate his love and attentiveness to your wellbeing. soon you would see that it was all for you.

he waited eagerly for you to awake, so he could just explain what was going on. he knew you were going to be scared, but it wasn't him you should be scared of—it was out there where he couldn't protect you!

finally, your eyelids began to flutter open, a soft groan leaving your lips that had his ears perking up. he was holding your hand—the one that had been handcuffed— and his grip tightened as you stirred.

you rubbed your eyes with the hand that wasn't being held. your mind was hazy, and you didn't notice the cold metal locked around your wrist until you tried to sit up.

"what the..." you trailed off, your eyes finding the handcuff that had rattled against the bedframe as you moved. you followed the chain to your hand, engulfed by his. a pit of unease formed in your stomach as bile rose to your throat.

"shh," he cooed, running his thumb over your skin to soothe you. "it's okay." the look in his eyes was one devoid of guilt or shame. in fact, he looked completely and utterly proud of himself.

"sonny, what's going on?" you asked, your voice shaking with fear as you tugged against the handcuff.

"I just want to protect you," he said softly, reaching out to caress your cheek. he frowned when you jerked away from his touch. "now, don't be like that," he said firmly. "i'm doing you a favor. you should be thanking me."

"thanking you?" you asked incredulously, searching his eyes for any sign that this was just some sick joke, but his expression was dead serious, his eyebrows furrowing in that manner they always did when he was focused.

"yes, thanking me," he reiterated. "the world is so cruel, especially to pretty little things like yourself," he brushed your hair from your face, and it took every ounce of control in your body not to jerk away again. you didn't know what he'd do if he was mad, and you didn't want to find out. "so, i'm going to keep you here, with me. that way, nothing can happen to you."

you wondered how the man in front of you was the same man you met all those weeks ago. the same man who would hold doors open for you and take you out to lunch. how was that the same man who thought it was completely rational to handcuff you to a bed?

"sonny, please," you pleaded, your eyes darting around the room. "let's just talk, okay? just uncuff me and we can talk."

"i'm not stupid," he said, standing from the bed and crossing his arms. he looked down at you, his expression darkening. "i know you'll try to run."

"i-i won't!" you assured him helplessly. "i promise!"

"don't lie to me," his jaw clenched, his brows furrowing farther. "maybe, if you're a good girl, and prove to me that you will behave and not try to leave, i will uncuff you, but until then, you're staying put."

you felt like a weight had been placed on your chest, panic beginning to set in as the gravity of your situation dawned on you. you had been kidnapped, and you had no idea how you were going to get away.

he headed toward the door. you had taken so long to wake up that now, he had to get to work. "oh," he said, stopping in the doorway to turn to you. "and don't even try to scream. i soundproofed the whole apartment."

it was a lie. he didn't have the time or funds to do that, especially not after the divorce had drained him of his savings. besides, it would have looked suspicious to do so. but, you didn't know any of these things, and you were so afraid and he had said it so confidently that you had no choice but to believe him. he had you eating out of the palm of his hand.

as you watched him leave, hearing the bedroom door lock behind him, you couldn't help the tears beginning to fall. you felt hopeless, afraid, alone, and utterly betrayed. this man you thought you knew—you thought was your friend—had done the unimaginable. you didn't even know who he was anymore, and you were locked in his apartment, completely at his mercy.

[bullet-prooflove]

Past Mistakes Part Twenty: Bad News - Mike Duarte x Reader (feat: Joe Velasco)

Tagging: @mysoulisasunflower @resonmalvo @@littleone65 @thesandbeneathmytoes @mydarkestsecretlol @evee87 @wooshwastaken @hearthockey @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @rosaliedepp @thatesqcrush @storiesofsvu @whateversomethingbruh @burningpeachpuppy @legit9thlunaticwarrior @kiwiithecrazybird @spooky-pomegranate @telepathay @weiwei0210 @spaghettificationandpretzels @plaidbooks @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @withakindheartx

Past Mistakes Series:

Part One: Try - Mike turns back up in your life after three years apart.

Part Two: Hope (NSFW) - Mike and you get reaquainted.

Part Three: California - Mike and you discuss the past.

Part Four: Favours - Mike asks Liv for a favour.

Part Five: Choices - Mike comes face to face with someone from his past.

Part Six: Truth Hurts - Mike begs you to tell him the truth about what happened three years ago.

Part Seven: Sharing - Mike and Joe have a conversation.

Part Eight: Buried - Mike discovers that McGrath’s misdeeds go far futher than he thought.

Part Nine: Complicated - Mike discusses moving forward.

Part 10: Feral - Mike returns to the apartment to find you’ve disappeared.

Part Eleven: Torture - You wake up in the basement.

Part Twelve: Fire - You and Joe discuss moving forward.

Part Thirteen: Lost Time - You and Mike get real on his porch.

Part Fourteen: Plan B - Mike always has a plan B.

Part Fifteen: Proud - Mike tells you how proud he is of what you’re doing.

Part Sixteen: Mattituck (NSFW) - You show Mike how much you love him.

Part Seventeen: Seven - Joe makes a discovery.

Part Eighteen: Patterns - Benson and Murphy discover the reality of McGrath’s misdeeds.

It’s done.

The case has been handed over to Carisi and the indictment comes down tomorrow. All of the work they’ve undertaken over the past few months finally comes to fruition. There’s no more subterfuge or embargoes there’s just the reality of the situation laid out on a whiteboard in the incident room they’ve been working out of since this whole thing started.  

Joe stands before it with his arms crossed over his chest, his gaze studying each picture of the victims. There are eight of them including you.

You’d assumed you were just another victim in the long line of women that McGrath had assaulted but you weren’t, you were the catalyst, you were Victim Zero.

Yours was the crime that McGrath emulated over and over again, perfecting his technique because he hadn’t managed to succeed the first time.

Joe’s eyes come to rest upon McGrath’s final victim.

Number Eight: Detective Cass Matthews.

She’d committed suicide by overdosing in a motel in Bronx last month, because she hadn’t wanted her sister to find the body. Laura had come forward not long after Cass’s death, submitting a complaint because Cass had told her she was being repeatedly assaulted by one of her superiors, she just hadn’t said which one.

The thing is straight after the first attack, the one where McGrath had injured Cass so badly, she’d had to tell her Captain she was mugged, she had gone to the hospital. She’d had a rape kit completed, there were photographs of her injuries. She hadn’t wanted to press charges, so Bronx SVU had let it slip through the cracks.

Cass’s sister had given Joe permission to run the kit. He wasn’t surprised when the results came back to McGrath. He hadn’t bothered using protection, he’d had a vasectomy years ago, Joe remembers him complaining about it after he’d knocked his wife up for the third time.

Joe doesn’t say anything when Murphy enters the room. He’s too busy thinking about all the lives that have been destroyed by his former mentor, how McGrath had sat there and told him it was all consensual, that each and every woman had wanted him. He’d seen the pictures of what he’d done to Cass that night, the bruising on her arms and legs, her throat, her mouth. He knows what violence looks like.

“I’ve called Duarte, let them know the indictment’s coming down tomorrow.” Murphy informs Joe, his hands coming to rest on either side of him as he leans back against the desk.

“I guess we won’t be the only ones losing sleep tonight.” Joe says quietly as he tilts his head towards Murphy. “What they went through… What they’re going to go through…”

Joe shakes his head because it isn’t right. You shouldn’t have to be raked over the coals by McGrath’s lawyer, you shouldn’t have to relive the most traumatic moments of your life in front of an entire courtroom because the bastard refuses to admit what he’s done.

“It’s a means to an end.” Murphy says knowingly. “It’s shitty and-”

He’s cut off by the sound of a gunshot. It erupts through the building with a loud retort, the boom echoing through the quiet corridors. Murphy’s already in motion, his hand on his own weapon as he rushes out of the door.

Joe doesn’t bother to follow.

There’s a heaviness in him because he knows where the gunshot came from, what Murphy will find when he steps inside McGrath’s office. He doesn’t want to see that, the brains of his previous mentor splattered across his desk. There’s a bitterness in his mouth because yet again McGrath has escaped justice and Joe just can’t stomach it.

It’s a couple of hours later that he picks up the phone, he watches McGrath’s body being wheeled out in a black bag as his thumb hovers over Duarte’s number.

It rings three times before Duarte picks up.

“Velasco,” He says, his voice rough from sleep. “I take it you have bad news.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[mx-pastelwriting]

Sneaking Glance

Sonny Carisi x GN! Reader

Summary: For a week you hadn’t been able to have Sonny's hands on you, but tonight all you could stare at was his lap, so you chose to make the first move.

Warnings: Slight Smut

Minors do not interact!

Sonny kept his eyes on the road as he drove you both home. He had picked you up from your work after his. You shared a car with each other, and depending on when you got off, either you or he would pick up the other.

You kept your hands in your lap as you stared at him. Sonny talked about his work, but you tuned it out. Though you had been dating him for two years, your sex life had not been as active as it used to be in the last week. Sonny was so calm he hadn’t made a move, but you did, but you could see he was tired most of the night, so you stayed distant.

Tonight you made a plan to try a bit harder, but if he didn't want to, you would have to wait again. Sonny looked over at you, pulling you from his thoughts. As he got closer to your shared apartment, he put his hand on your thigh, making you bite your lip. He drove up the street, parking the car on the side. He talked on more before getting out of the car and quickly making his way to your door.

Opening the door, he watched you get out and bring the takeout he had gotten for the both of you. You walked to the door, and Sonny opened it quickly to get you both out of the cold of the night. You rushed to the couch, setting the takeout on the coffee table, turning on the TV, and unpacking it before putting it in front of his empty seat.

Sonny was in the bedroom but came back out wearing only his button-up and pants. He sat down with a sigh and dug into his food. His eyes were quickly drawn to the screen as he ate his dinner, unknowing that your eyes were catching glances at his lap. How he sat always made you crazy, but not having his hand on you for a week made things stir inside you.

You took a bite of your food while lying back on the couch. Sonny looked relaxed, his legs opened wide. How badly you wanted to saddle him, tell him you can't take it anymore, just to fuck you on the couch. But as you ate more, you thought against it, wanting him to have his full attention on you.

Finishing up with the food and the show, you put down yours, and seconds later he did the same, opening his arms and letting you cuddle into his chest. You put your hand on his upper thigh, giving him a little indication of what you wanted, but he was oblivious to it and continued to watch the TV.

You shifted your weight quickly, putting your legs on his side and saddling him. You looked into his eyes before kissing him. He kissed back eagerly, quickly putting his hands on your thighs as yours went up into his hair. You moaned into the kiss, feeling his hands squeeze your thighs before moving up and into your pants. He breaks off the kiss to trail down your neck, leaving his soft kisses behind before pulling your shirt up and off.

He lays you on the couch, lending him time to take off his, His lips once again meet yours as both of your hands roam each other's bodies. Your moans mix with his. He firmly planted himself between your legs, his hips moved against you, creating fiction that sent you over the edge of waiting. "Please, Sonny," you gasped, feeling him thrust into you. He kissed your neck one last time before his hands found familiar places leading into the night.

Hello, I hope you enjoyed if there is any grammar mistakes or misspellings sorry about that feel free to let me know in the comments, have a great day/afternoon/night!

♥ mx-pastelwriting does not consent to their fanfiction being copied, copied & credited, translated, used in videos and/or audios, screenshotted, used in AI.

Fanfiction is protected under copyright law when plagiarism is involved. If you plagiarize my work, either a piece or whole in any language, I will take legal action. Inspiration or the same idea does NOT apply to this, only word-for-word plagiarism in any language.

[noellawrites]

Isolation - Yandere!Rafael Barba x reader

requested by @detectivebarba

summary: After you are shot while on duty, Rafael manipulates both you and the SVU squad to get what he wants.

warnings: shooting, bullet wound, reader is hospitalized, angst, lying, manipulation

A single shot rang out, causing you to turn your head towards where the commotion was coming from. Your service weapon was drawn, but you didn't have time to shoot. The bullet hit you right below your chest.

You slammed into the ground with a groan. Pain ricocheted through your body, but you knew you were lucky. Your vest had caught the bullet.

"11-41, we got an officer down. I need a bus to Irving and East 17th ASAP," you heard Sonny call over his radio.

Liv was on the ground next to you in a flash. She had pulled your vest off and was examining the damage.

"It looks like the vest caught most of the damage. You're going to be fine, (y/n)," Liv assured you.

You watched from the ground as Amanda and Fin apprehended the shooter and wrangled him into the backseat of the squad car.

"P-please c-call Raf," you rasped, and Liv nodded. Your breathing sounded erratic and you were coughing and wincing in pain. Sonny turned around, bending down to the other side of you.

"I think you've got a punctured lung, (y/n)," Carisi explained.

Your eyes widened and tears threatened to spill from them. You couldn't speak, so you only shook your head vigorously.

Liv stood up and dialed Rafael's number. She wasn't looking forward to breaking the news to him, as he was extremely protective of you.

"The vest caught the bullet, but it looks like they have some broken ribs and they're having trouble breathing. I know, Rafa. We'll meet you at Mercy."

—

Everything became a blur once you were loaded into the ambulance. Liv rode with you while Sonny drove the squad car to Mercy. Fin and Amanda were booking the shooter and finishing the paperwork, but promised to come to visit as soon as they could.

A flustered Rafael was already sitting in your room once you were brought back from your emergency surgery. He stood up as soon as he saw the nurses wheeling your hospital bed back in.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, concern thick in his voice.

"Better, now that I can actually breathe. Hey, where is everyone else?" you asked, looking around your private room. There were already four vases of flowers, but no one else was there besides your boyfriend and the two nurses hooking up your IV bags.

"They'd only let one person in at a time, so I told them I was your husband. I'll go out and tell everyone that you're awake and out of surgery, though," Rafael promised.

He leaned over, kissing you on the forehead and smiling at you before he exited the room.

—

Rafael was stunned at just how many NYPD employees had showed up to support you. He walked into the lounge and guessed there had to be at least thirty people. There were lots of beat cops, mostly people he recognized as old friends and co-workers of yours.

He spotted Liv and Sonny standing in a corner with Chief Dodds and IAB Captain Tucker. Rafael approached them and took a deep breath.

"They're out of surgery and conscious. They don't want any visitors, though. Any idea why that son of a bitch would do this?" Rafael said, clenching his jaw in anger.

"Fin and Rollins are workin' on it, but we got nothin' so far," Sonny explained.

"No visitors? Any idea why?" Liv asked, narrowing her eyes.

"They said they didn't want to see any of you. I'm pretty sure they're planning on leaving the squad after this. I'm sorry."

" Well, give them these if you could, counselor. It's from all of us down at 1PP," Tucker explained, handing Rafael a bouquet.

"I will, thank you," Rafael nodded, taking the flowers.

"And these, my ma made an emergency cannoli batch when she heard," Sonny added, shoving a Tupperware container into Rafael's other hand.

Rafael couldn't wait to get back into your room, take your phone and block each and every one of them. He would take care of you and nurse you through your recovery without the squad to bother him.

He was quite proud of this plan he'd set into motion. He paid the shooter handsomely, as he would be serving a few years in prison. It was airtight, nothing could be tracked back to him. And now, you were all his.

—

You woke up from your nap and turned to your left side, where Rafael was sitting. He was texting something on his phone and hadn't noticed you'd woken up.

"Rafa?" you mumbled, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

"Hey, baby. You have a good nap?"

"Yeah. Did anyone come by to visit?" you asked. You wanted to see your friends more than anything.

"Just Tucker to drop off some flowers," your boyfriend explained.

You frowned, glancing out the window at the New York skyline. You got shot, broke two ribs and your lung collapsed, and your friends couldn't even bother to come see you in the hospital?

"I'll call Liv, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. Maybe they think I'm still in surgery or something," you said, grabbing your phone from the tray table beside you.

You clicked on Olivia's contact and tried to press the call button, but your call was immediately rejected.

"That's weird," you remarked, and tried again. Again, the call rejected.

You narrowed your eyes and tried Sonny's contact. Then Amanda. Then Fin. All rejected calls. You turned your phone off, tears welling up in your eyes. Why would they ice you out like this?

"I'm sorry (y/n), but they don't want to hear from you or see you. I tried to call them earlier and only Liv answered. She said you're off the squad. I'm really sorry," Rafael explained, standing up from his seat and moving to stand over your hospital bed. He wiped the tears from your eyes and looked at you with an expression of pity.

"Why would they do this?" you sobbed, covering your eyes with your hands.

"Once you get out of here, I'll move you into my apartment. I'll take care of you, okay? I promise," Rafael said, smiling at you and bending over to give you a hug. He would always protect you, and you would never have to know the truth.

[bi-bard]

Usefulness - Sonny Carisi Imagine (Law & Order: S.V.U)

Title: Usefulness

Pairing: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi X Reader

Word Count: 1,135 words

Warning(s): discussion of people-pleasing tendencies

Summary: Sonny's interference in an interrogation that (Y/n) was leading ends in a serious discussion about what the true intention behind his actions were.

Author's Note: Carisi is a people-pleaser, tell me I'm wrong.

--------------------------

It all started with an event during an interrogation.

The interrogation itself was going fine. The guy was confrontational, but that wasn't anything new. I felt confident, comfortable. No matter what the guy was saying, I had control over the room. It was good.

Then, he made some off-hand, disrespectful comment.

I didn't get a chance to respond before the door into Liv's office opened.

"That's enough."

I looked at Sonny, who was now leaning through the doorway. In the hopes of making it look like we were on the same page, I stood up, following him out.

"You had no right to do that," I muttered once the door shut.

"We were getting nowhere with him."

"Yes, we were, that's why he was getting personal," I replied. "And then, you pulled me out. We are back at square one."

"I was trying to stand up for you."

"I know, I know," I nodded. "But... this is my job, Sonny. You can't do that kind of thing just because a suspect pokes fun at me."

"I was keeping you safe."

I didn't have a chance to talk back before Sonny walked out of the office. I just took a deep breath before turning to face Liv.

"I can't go back in, can I," I asked. "Guy wouldn't hold any respect for me. All progress... gone."

"Sonny means well," she replied.

"I know, I know. I just... I feel like there's something more going on."

She nodded.

I didn't get a chance to talk about it with him until we got home.

When I walked in, Sonny was already home. At least he seemed to have more straightforward hours than I did. He had changed and was sitting at the table, hunched over the next case he was working on.

"Hey," I said.

He stood up as soon as I spoke. "Hey."

I grinned at him as he walked over and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"How was your day," he asked.

"Funny that you ask," I replied. "I was gonna ask to talk about what happened today?"

"The interrogation thing?"

I nodded.

He let out a sigh.

"Sonny, I know that you meant well, but you can't do that," I explained. "It undermines my authority in the room, sets back progress, and it looks like the A.D.A is trying to steer the case, which is not your job."

He looked down.

I bit my lip and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I was just trying to help," he mumbled after a minute of silence.

"And I appreciate that, I do," I said, stepping forward. "I... I just want to understand why you felt the need to do that."

"What?"

"You're protective," I explained. "And I adore that. I think it's great. However, there are times when it's almost like you're overstepping. And I don't think you're aware of the fact that you're doing it."

His eyebrows furrowed. "So... you think it's great, but it's upsetting you."

"Sonny," I sighed. "I think you're protective and helpful streak is honorable. It's sweet and it shows that you care and it's one of the things I first noticed about you when I started getting feelings for you. However, when you storm into the interrogation room because a suspect is getting a little too aggressive or rude, it's overstepping."

Sonny looked down.

"I was trained to handle those situations, just like you were. I know when to step out. And when you interfere like that, no matter the intentions, it's not going to look good."

He didn't speak up.

"Why did you do it? Honestly."

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. When he looked up again, he still didn't meet my eyes. His gaze was still shifting around the room.

"I... I'm supposed to take care of you," he admitted. "We're... We're a couple. I am meant to take care of you. Protect you. It's... It's my job now."

I almost wanted to cry.

He scoffed like he was trying to convince me- maybe both of us- that it was a joke. "I mean, you're not gonna keep someone around that you can't trust to protect you and help you. That's not useful."

The last sentence left me stunned for a moment. He truly thought that the reason I was with him was because of how useful he was.

My hesitance made him want to backtrack. "Y'know what, I shouldn't have said anything about this. It's not your job to worry-"

"Sonny, Sonny," I touched his upper arms as he tried to wave the whole thing off. "Hey..."

He finally looked at me, a clear frown on his face.

I stepped forward, leaning in to peck his lips. "You don't need to fix me or save me in order to convince me that you care. I love you. No conditions attached. I promise you that."

His face softened a bit. "You love me?"

I paused for a moment. I hadn't said that out loud before. I had thought it for years- even before we started dating- but saying it... that was a new monster.

"Yeah," I nodded. "You have nothing to prove, Sonny. You never did. I don't need you to hold me together."

His smile could've melted my heart.

"What I want," I continued, "is for my very handsome, very tired partner to lie down with me. If that's what he wants."

Sonny slowly nodded.

I stepped back, taking his hand and leading him out of the living room. I was stopped in the doorway by Sonny. I chuckled as he pressed his lips to mine. My back hit the doorframe, digging into my spine as his hands cupped the sides of my face.

"Sonny," I placed my hand on his chest, pushing him back enough to speak. "Lie down with me. Nothing else. Not tonight."

He nodded again.

I pecked his lips again.

Sonny didn't speak up until we had both curled up under my covers.

"I love you too."

It was so quiet. Whispered as one arm wrapped around my shoulders to hold me closer and his other hand cupped the side of my face. His thumb ran along my cheekbone.

My eyes already felt heavy as I hummed back to him. He made me feel so safe. It was just so easy to fall asleep with my head resting against him.

"And you said I was tired."

"Stop being such a teddy bear then," I grumbled.

"Oh, never," he mumbled. "Wouldn't get to hold you as tight as I want if I did that."

"You can hold me as tight as you want, Carisi."

I had to bite back my smile a bit as I felt his arms tighten around me.

It was about time he focused on what he wanted.

--------------------------

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[thelemontree]

Muscle Memory (Rafael Barba x Reader)

Paring: Rafael Barba x f!Reader

Summary: You hadn't seen Rafael in nearly three years. When he left—and shattered your heart in the process—you didn't think you'd ever recover. But now, just as you finally starting to feel like you might be okay, he waltzes right back into the SVU precinct, into your life, and fucks everything up.

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, explicit language, canon typical rape mention (off-screen, no details), breakups + makeups, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, p in v sex, praise + dirty talk, mentions of a sex toy

A/N: Rafael Barba my beloved <3 my first SVU fic after being a long time reader! I love this show and I love Barba. Takes place during the episode "Sightless in a Savage Land." (Rafael Barba + a beard = my untimely death.) I was listening to Muscle Memory by Lights when I got the idea for this, so it's very loosely based on that song. Anyways, enjoy, and be prepared for more SVU fics in the future bc I am deep in that rabbit hole hehe.

The last time you ever saw or spoke to Rafael Barba was nearly three years ago, when he decided to leave both the DA’s office and New York City. And, in turn, you.

He asked you to go with him—begged you, really. Told you he loved you and couldn’t see a life without you. After years of casual flirting and simmering tension, you both realized how badly you wanted—no, needed—each other. At that point, you had been together for almost a year and you were completely, head-over-heels in love with him. You wanted to go with him, but you couldn’t leave your job at SVU and your life behind. As much as it hurt, you told him no. An explosive fight ensued and you both said things you’d later come to regret, but in the moment you were both too hurt to care. He stormed out of your apartment and slammed your front door behind him, leaving you a sobbing mess in your living room.

It took time, a whole lot of effort, and a little bit of booze along the way, but now you felt like you were finally in a good place. You were back to cracking jokes with Carisi, going out for girls' nights with Liv and Amanda, and Kat, the SVU newbie, even got you to consider starting to date again. You still missed Rafael, but the hurt had dulled over time, and you found yourself wanting to move on, once and for all.

All of that came crashing down, though, when you walked into work one morning and came face-to-face with Rafael, exiting Olivia’s office. When you saw each other, you couldn’t help the pained gasp that you let out. Hot tears started to well in your eyes at the soft look he gave you. The whole precinct seemed to come to a standstill—Amanda looked at you from her desk, concern etched on her face; Olivia looked a little guilty; Fin looked like he was waiting for a bomb to go off; and Kat’s eyes moved between you and Rafael, her brows drawn together in confusion before she finally realized what was happening.

Rafael breathed your name out in a pained whisper, and that’s all it took to break you out of your reverie. Before he could say anything else, you squared your shoulders and walked straight past him to your desk. You didn’t say a word to anybody as you got to work, focused solely on not letting yourself cry in front of everybody—especially him. You could feel everyone’s eyes on you and it made you want to scream.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Olivia place a hand on Rafael’s shoulder. She said something to him, her voice too quiet for you to know what it was, and he nodded his head solemnly. He looked over at you for a moment before he went to the elevators. Olivia turned to her squad of detectives, who were all still stunned from the quiet scene that just unfolded. With a small sigh, Olivia clapped her hands together, bringing everyone to attention.

“Back to work, everybody. We’ve got lives to save and people to protect.”

Reluctantly, your fellow detectives turned back to their work, but you could still feel their occasional glances your way. As Olivia walked past your desk to her office, she stopped and put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Want to come into my office for a minute, detective?”

You followed Olivia into her office, plopping down on her couch as she closed the door. You sighed, running your hands over your face. The tears were still threatening to fall from your eyes, and you did everything you could to will them back inside your tear ducts.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t expecting him to show up like that,” Olivia said, her voice apologetic. You looked at her and offered her a tired smile.

“It’s fine, Liv. I just… Was not prepared to see him again, not like this. Everything just came flooding back and hit me all at once,” you replied. “Why was he even here, anyway?”

Olivia sighed and shook her head. “When I heard he was in town, I asked him to meet up for coffee and may have suggested that he talk with Mickey Davis, just to hear his story and see if there was any way he could help him out. I didn’t think he’d take Mickey on as a client.”

You rolled your eyes at that. Rafael taking Mickey on as a client didn’t surprise you in the slightest. You didn’t blame the guy for killing his teenage daughter’s abuser—you probably would have done the same thing if you were in his position. And if you were in Rafael’s position, you would’ve been lined up to defend Mickey, too. But hearing Olivia say she didn’t expect him to take Mickey on did surprise you—she knew Rafael as well as you did and that he couldn’t just walk away from this once she brought him into it.

You weren’t mad at her, though. Just because you and Rafael had a rough break-up didn’t mean everyone else had to cut him out of their lives. You knew Olivia just wanted to help Mickey the best way she could, and you’d be damned if you didn’t agree that Rafael would be his best shot.

“Well, that makes sense, I guess. Can’t say I’m surprised,” you huffed. “At least I wasn’t on that case. Minimizes my interactions with him.”

Olivia chuckled. “Yeah, I guess there’s that bright side.”

You stood from her couch and gave her a small smile. You could tell she had more apologies in her, knowing how hard it must’ve been for you to see him so out-of-the-blue, but you waved her off before she could start. “Don’t worry about me, Liv. I’ll be fine. And I’m not mad. Honestly, if things were different, I probably would’ve gone to Rafael, too.”

You walked out of Olivia’s office and were relieved to find that everyone had returned to work as normal. Amanda looked up at you and gave you a reassuring smile, letting you know she was there for you if needed anything. Over the years, you and her had become two peas in a pod, and you were grateful to have a friend and a partner in her. You sat down at your desk and got to work going through your case files.

Your desk phone rang and you answered it, “Detective L/N, Manhattan Special Victims Unit.”

And now your work for the day has really begun.

***

You were dead on your feet by the time you got home. You and Amanda had picked up a new case—a rape victim found in Central Park—and spent a majority of the day working on that. Neither of you had gotten very far on it, which wasn’t unusual, but you always felt a little defeated when you went home at the end of the day with little to show.

When you stepped into your apartment, all you wanted was to take a hot shower, order take-out, and crash. After putting all your stuff away, you walked into your kitchen and pulled out the take-out menu for your favorite Chinese place. As you scanned the menu and thought about what you were going to order, there was a knock at your door. You looked up and scrunched your eyebrows together—you weren’t expecting company, and none of your friends were the type to just show up to your place unannounced, especially on a weeknight. With a sigh, you set the menu down on your counter and walked over to your front door. You looked through the peephole and took a surprised step back when you saw who was on the other side.

Rafael.

You stood there for a few moments, staring at your front door, too shocked that he was at your apartment to do anything. He knocked again, this time a little more insistently, and said, “I know you’re inside, Y/N. Please open the door.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. When you opened them, you lifted shaky hands to the locks on the door and undid them, slowly pulling it open. Without the hustle and bustle of the police precinct and the surprise of running into him at work, you could stand there and take him in. He looked different—a little bit older, a little bit grayer—but just as handsome as the last time you saw him. There was a pang of sadness in your chest. You were reminded then, standing in your doorway and just staring at each other, how much you still missed him.

“Hi,” he said lamely, breaking the silence. He looked just as nervous as you did, a hesitant smile visible behind his full beard. (You took note of his new feature a little ruefully—you had wanted him to grow out his facial hair, but he always told you, saying beards made him too itchy.) You stood there and stared at him for a second more before replying.

“Hi.”

Before, conversation always flowed so easily between the two of you. You hadn’t realized how much of a chatterbox Rafael was until you started dating, but you found it endearing. You liked hearing him talk about the things he was passionate about. Now, the uncomfortable silence felt so foreign, and it made you fidget.

“I, uh, I don’t know why I came here, to be honest,” Rafael said, clearing his throat. “After seeing you this morning, I just… I don’t know. I wanted to see you again.”

You felt your resolve start to crumble. You’d spent so much time trying to get over him, trying to move on with your life, and just when you felt like you were starting to get somewhere, he shows up out of the blue and wrecks it all. You wanted nothing more than to drag him into your apartment and pretend like the past three years hadn’t happened, that you were back to where you were before you broke each other’s heart.

Rafael must have taken your silence as disinterest rather than being at war with yourself internally. He sighed and shook his head, making to turn around and leave. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just shown up like this. I’m going to go.”

You felt panic rise up in you at the thought of him leaving again and before you could stop yourself, you said, “Wait! Don’t go. Come inside. Please.”

Rafael looked at you, surprise etched on your face. He hadn’t expected you to invite him in so suddenly, but he wasn’t about to let the opportunity to talk to you slip from his fingers. He nodded and stepped into your apartment. You closed the door and slipped the locks back into place before joining Rafael in the living room.

You cleared your throat and gestured to the couch. “You can, uh, sit down, if you want to.”

“Yeah, okay. Sure. Thanks.”

Rafael took a seat at the end of your couch and you moved to sit on the opposite end of it. Now that he was inside of your apartment, you didn’t know what to do, what to say. You hated how awkward and uncomfortable the air surrounding you two felt.

“I’m sorry,” Rafael blurted out after another few minutes of silence. He turned on the couch to face you, his eyes filled with tears and his face pulled into a grimace. “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have left you the way that I did. I shouldn’t have stormed out of here and took off without another word. I was an idiot—such a fucking idiot—and I’m so sorry for hurting you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I fucked it all up.”

You scooted closer to him on the couch, taking one of his trembling hands in yours. The tears you had successfully kept at bay all day had started to fall, and you tried to steady your breathing to avoid breaking out into a full on sob. You looked up at him and broke when you saw his tears falling, too.

“Rafael,” your voice broke and you could barely get another word out. Looking back on the fight that ended your relationship, you knew you were both to blame for it. You were both cruel to each other, saying things you didn’t mean but knew would cut the other deeply. You called him selfish and accused him of not truly loving you if he expected you to give up your career just because he gave up his. He said the only thing you were capable of loving was your job and that you were his biggest mistake. It was messy and awful and you wished that you could take that night back.

He lifted his other hand to push your hair behind your ear and cup your cheek. “I still love you, Y/N. I never stopped.”

You couldn’t find the words to express what you were feeling. Instead of trying to articulate everything going on in your brain, you leaned forward and kissed him. You figured that if your words were going to fail you, you could just show him.

Rafael was surprised at the first brush of your lips against his, but he quickly warmed up. He kissed you back with equal fervor, tracing his tongue against your bottom lip. You moaned quietly into his mouth when you opened up and felt the first touch of his tongue against yours. His hand slid into your hair, pulling you even closer against him. You pushed him into the back of the couch and moved to straddle his lap, not once breaking the kiss.

The hand that wasn’t tangled in your hair ghosted up your front, his fingers lightly tracing your skin over your shirt. He took one of your breasts in his hand and squeezed it, grinning into the kiss at the sound of your resulting groan. He wrapped his arm around you, planting his hand in between your shoulder blades so he could pull you flush against him. There was virtually no space between the two of you anymore, and you couldn’t shake just how right it felt to be back in his embrace.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, you leaned your forehead against his, your eyes still closed. You breathed in each other’s air, both panting heavily. When you finally opened your eyes, you saw Rafael staring up at you, his eyes a mixture of tenderness and wonder.

“Bedroom?” you asked him shakily. He nodded his agreement, and you reluctantly pulled yourself off of him. When he stood from the couch, he took your hand in his, pulling it up to his lips. He kissed each of your knuckles, looking at you through his lashes the whole time. The moment was both incredibly intimate and arousing. Your heart was practically beating out of your chest, your breaths were coming in short pants, and you were uncomfortably wet. He still knew how to get you riled up.

“Lead the way, cariño.”

You pulled him into your bedroom and once the door was shut behind you, you pulled him into another kiss. It was hot and desperate, all teeth and tongues. He gripped your hips tight enough that you know there’d be fingertip-shaped bruises in the morning. The thought sent a shiver through your body. He remembered how much you liked finding his marks on your body.

The next thing you knew, Rafael was gripping you even tighter as he lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he turned and took the few steps over to your bed. He laid you down gently, settling himself in between your thighs. He ground down into you, and you could feel his hard cock through his slacks, and you broke away to whimper.

Rafael took the opportunity to start peppering kisses over your cheek and jawline. He moved down to your throat, sucking and nipping at the base of it. You gasped at the sensation, your hips bucking up against his, and he groaned against your skin. Even though it’d been years since he last touched you like this, he still knew all the things you liked and all the ways he could unravel you underneath him.

He unbuttoned your shirt, trying to restrain himself from just ripping the damn thing off of you. Once it was gone, he sat up so he could rid himself of his own button-up and undershirt. While he took off his top two layers, you arched your back to reach behind you and unhook your bra, tossing it to the floor. He let out an appreciative groan at the sight of you.

“So fucking beautiful,” he said, his voice hoarse. You leaned down to kiss you again before moving his mouth down to your breasts. He took your left nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it while one of his hands tweaked your other nipple. He laid there for some time, lavishing your tits with attention, moving his mouth from one nipple to the other, his fingers following, while you squirmed and whined underneath him. The scratch of his beard against your skin burned in the best way possible, and you wanted nothing more than to feel it in between your legs.

Rafael must’ve read your mind, because he started to kiss down your stomach, occasionally sucking and biting at the soft skin there. He sat back on his heels to undo the button and pull down the zipper of your pants. You lifted your hips off of the mattress to help him pull them off of you. Once your jeans were gone, Rafael’s head was between your legs, nipping and sucking at the flesh of your thighs. You whimpered at the feeling of his beard scratching your sensitive skin and could feel him smirk against you as squirmed and tried to get closer to his face.

Ghosting his lips over your clothed pussy, he reached up and hooked his thumbs into your panties, slowly pulling them off of you. You could feel his breath against your slick folds and it made you shiver. Rafael looked up at you—his pupils blown wide, lips red and kiss swollen.

“It’s been too long since I’ve had my tongue in this pretty pussy” Rafael said, one of his thumbs running up your slit lightly, stopping just short of your clit. You gasped at the sensation. “Can I taste you, sweet girl? Please, let me taste you.”

“God, Rafa, yes,” you answered, nodding your head enthusiastically. Without missing a beat, Rafael ducked his head, flattening his tongue against you and licking a broad line up your pussy. You let out a broken moan, your hips bucking up, trying to chase his tongue, but he gripped your hips and pressed you down into the bed.

He moved to your clit, sucking it into his mouth as he brought one hand down to tease his fingers through your folds. Slowly, he pushed one finger inside of you and began pumping it in and out languidly. You gasped, throwing your head back into your pillows as your hands sought purchase in his hair. You tugged on the short strands, pulling his face closer to you. He groaned into your pussy, the sound reverberating through your body. He pulled off of your clit with a lewd pop, slipping another finger inside of you. He leaned his cheek against the inside of your thigh, his breath coming out in short pants.

“You feel so good wrapped around my fingers, baby. So tight and wet.” He started to speed up, crooking his fingers and finding your sweet spot right away. “I missed you so much, Y/N. I thought about you, about this, about being back in your arms, every day.”

His words and his fingers were too much. The coil in your belly started to tighten and you were gasping for breath. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t think—all you could do was let out tiny, broken moans and focus on how good Rafael was making you feel.

“You’re close, cariño, I can feel it. Can feel the way your pussy is tightening up. Come for me, Y/N. Come for me, let me feel it, let me see it.”

He took your clit into his mouth and sucked hard at the same time he hit your sweet spot again, and you were done for. You came with a gasp that turned into a long, drawn-out moan as your pussy spasmed around Rafael’s fingers.

Rafael worked you through your orgasm with his fingers, whispering praises into the skin of your thighs. “That’s it, baby, that’s it. Good girl. Such a good girl for me.”

When you finally came down and your breathing evened out, you slowly blinked open your eyes. You looked down to find Rafael staring up at you, his gaze a bit softer than before. His fingers were still inside of you, and as your eyes met his, he slowly pulled them out, smirking at the soft whimper you let out at the slow drag of his fingers.

Rafael kissed his way up the length of your body until he captured your lips with his. He kissed you slowly, taking his time to explore your mouth with his tongue. You wrapped your arms around his back and your legs around his waist, angling your hips upward to brush your bare pussy against his cock, hard and still trapped beneath his slacks. He pulled away from your mouth to hiss at the slight friction. You did it again, smirking as he dropped his face to the crook of your neck and groaned. He nipped at your pulse point, just hard enough to leave a mark that’d last for the rest of the night but be gone before you had to go to work in the morning.

“Rafa,” you breathed out, still softly grinding up against him. “Take your pants off. Want you to fuck me.”

He nodded, his face still buried in your neck and the feeling of his beard against your skin making you shiver. He pulled away and stood from the bed, eyes never leaving yours as he removed his pants and boxer briefs, leaving him bare before you. You took your bottom lip in between your teeth as you openly ogled him. Your pussy clenched at the sight of his cock, just as beautiful as you remembered it. He wasn’t overly long, about average length, but he was on the thicker side and filled you perfectly. When you finally dragged your eyes up back to Rafael’s face, he was looking at you with a smug smirk.

“Like what you see, cariño?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Always.”

Rafael opened the drawer of your bedside table to pull out a condom. He didn’t even ask if you’d moved them, moving on muscle memory. You knew he’d find them, though, because you hadn’t moved them since the last time he pulled one out. There was a new addition to your bedside drawer, though: a purple rabbit vibrator that you bought while drunk, sad, and horny. It was one of your best purchases of the last three years. Before grabbing a condom, Rafael pulled the vibrator out and inspected it with a smirk.

“Hmm, you’ll have to give me a demonstration of how this works one of these days.” Your heart fluttered at the idea of whatever you two had going on right now not being a one-time thing.

He set the vibrator back down in the drawer and pulled out a condom. He joined you back on the bed, giving his cock a couple of strokes before tearing open the little foil packet and rolling the condom onto himself. He leaned down to kiss you, putting some of his weight onto you and pressing you into the mattress. Feeling him on top of you like that was always one of your favorite things.

Rafael pulled away and smiled at you as he grabbed his cock in one hand and guided himself to your entrance. He teased you a little, barely pushing the tip in. He liked watching you squirm underneath him.

“Please, Rafa,” you whined, trying to get him to push into you more. “Please don’t tease me.”

“Shh, cariño,” he soothed, his other hand coming up to stroke the side of your face. You nuzzled your cheek into his hand, turning slightly to press kisses to his palm. “I’ll take care of you, don’t worry. Just be patient.”

Finally, Rafael started to push his cock into you more. He went slowly, relishing the feeling of your walls being wrapped around him again. You both groaned at the feeling. It didn’t just feel good—it felt right. Like you two were missing puzzle pieces, finally locked together. You knew then that you never wanted to let him go again.

When Rafael bottomed out, he crushed his forehead against yours, his eyes scrunched shut. He was breathing heavily, and as much as you wanted him to move, you knew he was trying to hold back. He wasn’t going to last long, but that was okay—neither were you.

“How long?” you asked breathlessly. He sat up a bit, blinking his eyes open. He looked at you, confusion etched on his face.

“Huh?”

You rolled your hips a little and gasped, hoping he got the message. He groaned, dropping onto one of his forearms as his hand gave out. He was panting into your ear, trying to gain a little bit of composure.

“Not since,” he panted, giving his hips an experimental thrust that had you both moaning. “Not since the last time I was with you.”

“Me neither, Rafael. Me neither. I couldn’t do it, not with anybody but you,” you said, grasping his face in your hands and pulling him down to kiss you. He moaned into your mouth, not really trying to kiss you back, but wanting to feel your mouth on his.

Finally, he started to move. At first, his pace was slow—he took his time pulling nearly all the way out before thrusting back in. He liked watching your face when he did this, how your eyebrows would scrunch together and your mouth would fall open in small moans. But soon enough, his resolve began to crack, and he started to pound into you harder, punching the breath from your gut. You ran your fingers through his hair at the back of his head, holding onto dear life.

“Yes, Rafa, just like that,” you moaned, trying to roll your hips to meet his thrusts. “Don’t stop.”

Rafael grunted in response. He dipped his head down to your neck, placing open-mouthed kisses all over your skin. One of his hands snaked down between your bodies, finding your clit with his thumb and rubbing it in small, tight circles. You let out a cry at the sensation, the coil in your belly beginning to wind once again.

“I’m so close, Y/N,” Rafael said into your neck. “Want to feel you come on cock. I need it, baby. Need you to come for me.”

You nodded your head, unable to form any words. There was too much happening—the feeling of Rafael’s cock dragging along your walls, his thumb on your clit, the dirty words he was whispering in your ear.

“Come on, Y/N, I know you’re close. Be a good girl and come on my cock, cariño.”

When one particularly hard thrust had him hitting you just right, you couldn’t hold it back any longer. You came with a loud, broken moan, your back arching off the bed as you nearly ripped Rafael’s hair out. Your pussy clenched Rafael’s cock in a vice as he kept fucking into you, chasing his own orgasm. After two, three more thrusts, he let out a deep, low groan as he came. His hips slowed as he worked you both through your highs.

When you came down, your legs were shaking and you could barely open your eyes. Rafael kissed his way up your neck and across the side of your face until he could capture your lips between his. It was slow and sweet, and you whined as he pulled away. Carefully, Rafael pulled his softening cock out of your pussy, making him hiss and you whimper at the feeling of being empty. Your eyes were still closed, so you didn’t see him get up from the bed and stand on wobbly legs.

You had started to doze off when you felt the cool washcloth start cleaning up in between your legs. It made you jerk awake, your eyes shooting open. Rafael was silent as he cleaned you up and you watched him work. Once he was done, he got up to put the cloth into your hamper and started to pick up his clothes.

Frowning at him, you asked, “what are you doing?”

He looked up at you, a bit of a solemn expression on his face. He looked like he was about to cry. “I was just, uh, getting my clothes together. I don’t know if you want me to stay, and I don’t want to be presumptuous.”

You sighed and used the rest of your energy to sit up. “Come sit with me,” you said softly.

Rafael set his clothes back down on the floor as he sat down next to you on the bed. His hands were fidgeting in his lap and he stared at them. You placed one of your hands on both of his and he looked up at you, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

“Rafael, I still love you too, you know. I never stopped. When you left…” you huffed out a sigh and a dry chuckle. “I was in hell. I didn’t think I was ever gonna get over you. I never really did, if I’m being honest. Recently I thought I was in more of a better place, but I still missed you. I still wished that I was yours and you were mine. Not going with you has been one of my biggest regrets.”

You thought that hearing how much you still loved him would’ve made Rafael feel better, but you weren’t anticipating the opposite reaction. You didn’t think it was possible for his face to fall even more than it already had.

“Please don’t say that, Y/N. I shouldn’t have asked you to come with me. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I knew how much you loved your job—how much you still do—and I shouldn’t have asked you to give that all up for me. I don’t want you to regret not coming with me, because I regret not staying here and rebuilding my life with you.”

You leaned into Rafael for a kiss, leaning your forehead against his when you pulled away. The two of you sat like that for a while, content to just be near each other. You had missed this more than anything—just being able to be with him.

“How long are you in New York for?” you asked as you pulled away. Rafael sighed and lifted one of his arms to put around your shoulders. You cuddled into his side, wrapping your arm around him and resting your head on his chest.

“For good. I took a job with the Innocence Project in their New York offices.”

You sat back up to look at him, scanning his face for any indication that he was lying. He wasn’t. Your heart felt like it was going to burst from your chest.

“Are you serious? You’re back for good?”

He nodded, a soft smile on his face. “I am, cariño. And I promise you, I’m not going anywhere this time.”

You knew you both still had a lot to work out and things to settle from the last time you saw each other, but in that moment none of that mattered to you. All you cared about was that the love of your life was back home, back with you, and you felt whole again.