#Carisi is protective over reader

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Mr Right

So, anonymous requested this request. And not gonna lie it was hard to write in so far as making Rafael a dick but otherwise I loved writing adoring Carisi caring for pregnant reader.

Warnings: Swearing, threat of violence, angst

Master List

Prompts

You casually walked through the squad room, smiling at your fellow detectives as you made your way to Liv’s office. You paused briefly as you saw them all look at each, their smiles not quite convincing. You shrugged before continuing on, thinking that they were just concerned with how you were handling the baby Drew Incident. Which…fair, you probably weren’t handling it as well as the others, and Rafael hadn’t answered your calls or been at home when you went by his place. The two of you had been dating for around six months and you wanted to check on him and not being able to tell if he was okay was worrying you. You hoped that he had at least talked to Liv which was why you were making a beeline for her office.

“Hey, Liv,” you leaned against her doorway rapping your knuckles against the glass.

“Y/n,” Liv waved you in, you noticed her smile was forced as well and you could see the strain around her eyes. “Come in. I wasn’t expecting you to be in today.”

“Oh?” you asked tilting your head as you stepped through, closing the door before taking a seat in-front of her desk. “Why?”

“I thought maybe you might take some time off or even request a leave of absence,” Liv sounded confused. “Maybe even talk about a transfer once you two had discussed where Rafael was moving to.”

“Moving?” you asked even more confused. “Rafael, is moving?”

“He hasn’t told you?”

“We haven’t talked since his trial, he said he needed some time, and I gave that to him but when I tried to call him or go by his place there was no answer,” you could feel your heart speeding up, as a burning sensation built at the back of your throat. “Rafael talked to you?”

“Yes, he said he had put in his papers and was thinking of leaving,” Liv’s voice turned to steel as she put together the pieces you were still missing but were slowly putting together.

“He…he’s leaving, and he didn’t even tell me,” your voice quivered as your vision became blurred as your eyes filled with tears. “He’s left me.”

“I am so sorry,” Oliva stood up and moved around to you. She wrapped her arms around you holding you close to her as you cried. Your chest felt tight as you tried to get your breathing under control, but it was difficult as the buzzing in your head got louder.

“I can’t believe he wouldn’t even call me,” your voice was soft but measured as the buzzing in your head slowly disappeared. You could feel your body slowly starting to heat, you took in a deep breath before letting it out in a shaky exhale. Anger started to fill your veins, pushing away from Liv you started to pace, your hands running through your hair. “I mean what the fuck?! We were together six months we were even talking about moving in together, getting a place. I-if I ever see him again I…I’ll…fuck!”

“Your anger is understandable,” Liv stood up watching as you paced. “Take the day, more if you need.”

You spun around to face her, your chest heaving as you tried to get control, not wanting lash out at your friend. Just as fast as the rage hit you it was gone as your body sagged as if someone cut your strings. Tears filled your eyes again as you nodded. Liv’s eyes softened as she watched you switch emotions so quickly; she couldn’t believe Rafael wouldn’t even call you. She was going to kill him for hurting you.

“I’ll get Carisis to drive you home,” Liv’s voice was gentle as she reached for you again. “I don’t want you driving like this.”

You just nodded, following her out like a lost puppy. Now you understood the looks the others gave you. They knew. They bloody knew. Great so everyone but you knew that Rafael left you. You braved a look at the others, and was a little surprised. Finn looked murderous; it seems Olivia had enough time to tell them that you had in fact not known that Rafael had left. Amanda looked torn between helping Finn commit a crime and comforting you. Carisi, well, Carisi looked like someone had kicked his dog as he came towards you, his jacket in hand.

“Hey,” his hands started reaching for you but aborted their movement before they dropped to his side. You tried to smile at him but you were sure it came off a little more like a grimace. “Come on, let’s get you home.” Once again you followed after one of your friends like a lost little puppy.

--

It had been over a month since you found out that Rafael had left you like the bastard he was. And your sadness had almost completely been replaced by rage. The others had taken to be careful not to mention his name around you. It wasn’t that you would start frothing at the mouth in rage but rather you would shut down and that apparently made the others uncomfortable. Well, Carisi got more concerned then uncomfortable. He had started bringing in an insane number of baked goods and would also show up at your place with ingredients to cook dinner.

It was probably the best you had eaten in that month, or well ever apparently. Your favourite pants had gotten a little tight, actually, all of your pants had gotten tight. And that didn’t make any sense, because you were throwing up randomly throughout the day, which also tended to coincide with when someone mentioned Rafael. The throwing up just made Carisi even more concerned for you, which had him making you even more food. It was a little vicious cycle. You stared down at your pants that you were currently struggling to do up. You pouted as you tried once again to get the two sides of the pants to come together, your eyes narrowed as they once again did not come close to touching.

“What the fuck?” you whispered frowning as tears started to fill up your eyes, chest heaving as a sob crawled up your throat. “Great now I’m crying. Again.”

Giving up on your pants you fell back onto your bed allowing the sobs to run their course. You couldn’t wait for whatever this was to end. Hopefully, it would be soon. You couldn’t take much more of this. It was ridiculous. It was worse than the ups and downs during your cycle. Wait. You bolted up into a sitting position. Your sobs stopping just as quickly as they started.

“Not possible,” you whispered, grabbing your phone and opening your calendar. The date stared at you, like some big massive joke. “Nope, nope, nope.” And, yep, there are the sobs again. Flopping back onto the bed you threw the phone to the side, covering your face with both hands you sobbed harder. “Maybe if I ignore this, it will go away.”

Your little session was interrupted by a knock on your front door. Groaning you sat up, glaring down at your jeans before aiming the glare in the direction on your front door. The knock came again, dragging out another groan from you as you forced your body up tugging your shirt down as much as you could to cover your undone pants.

“I’m coming,” you called out as the knock sounded again. “Don’t be so god damn impatient.” You yanked open the door, glare firm on your face even as you continued to cry.

“Hey-woah, are you okay?” Carisi stood on the other side, the smile freezing on his face as it morphed into a concerned frown.

“Do I look okay?” you demanded turning away from him and walking back towards your kitchen leaving the door open for Carisi to walk through.

“I mean…no?” Caris seemed unsure if he should answer that question honestly. You huffed reaching to get a glass, Carisi’s eyes zeroed in on your undone pants and the swell of your stomach. His eyes slowly moved up, taking in any other changes he could see. Only to stop when he caught your eyes, your puffy, wet, red eyes that were currently glaring at him.

“Can I help you?” your voice was cold, almost seething, as you set the glass down and tried to tug your shirt back over your pants again. “I am aware that my pants can’t do up at the moment, but that is no reason to look at me with judgy eyes.” You voice broke as the tears started falling again. “And fucking hell, can I stop crying for five minutes please?!”

“Trust me I was not looking at you with “judgy” eyes,” Carisi promised, arms twitching as he resisted the urge to hug you. “I was concerned. And I think I may know what is going on.”

“Of fuck off, with your knowledge because you have sisters,” you cursed. “I am not…I can’t be…pregnant.” Your voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear you but it broke his heart. You sounded so scared.

“You’ve been throwing up a lot, and your body has changed,” Carisis thought better of using the phrase “gained weight”, his sister did not appreciate it one bit. “Not to mention how you’re switching between emotions really fast. It might be a good idea to take a test. Just to be sure.”

You looked up at him, all the anger fading from your face as you heard someone else voicing the thoughts that ran through your head once you realised it had been nearly two months since your last period. Shaking your head, you closed the distance between the two of you and fell against his chest. Carisi was always an affectionate person with his friends and right now you needed his hugs and you knew he wasn’t going to offer, not after the last time. Where you may have bitten his head off. Which you now at least had a theory as to why you reacted the way you did. Even if you really didn’t want to entertain the idea, you knew taking a test would be the smart thing to do.

“Can…I mean, will you be here, when I take it?” you asked in a tone so close to broken that Carisi wanted to hunt Rafael down.

“Of course I will,” Carisi soothed, running his hand up and down your back. “I’ll go out and get a test. You stay here, want me to maybe also get you some different pants?”

“Yes,” you nodded, hiccupping as you refused to let him go. “But just...stay here for a moment.”

“I won’t leave until you want me to,” Carisi promised, arms holding you tight to him.

“You promise?” you couldn’t help but ask him. You couldn’t help but fear that one day everyone you cared about would decide to leave you, with absolutely no warning. “You won’t leave?”

“Never,” Carisi pressed a kiss to the top of your head, heart finally shattering. It was then that swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to help you believe he wouldn’t leave, that there were people in your life who cared about you and would never leave you. It doesn’t matter what it will take, or long it will take until you believed him.

--

“You have to come out of the bathroom eventually,” Carisi called knocking against the door. “It’s been long enough, what does the test say?”

“I think the fact that I am in here having what is most definitely a panic attack should answer that!” you tried to sound angry but the sobbing and fear in your voice did not help.

“A panic-I’m coming in,” Carisi frowned, opening the door he found you sitting on the floor against the bath tub, the test in your hands. At the look on your face, he once again found himself wanting to hunt down a man he once considered a friend. You were so pale, your chest heaving as your breath came out in rough pants, your eyes looked unfocused.

“Oh, darling.” He couldn’t help the pet name as he kneeled beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you against his chest. His other hand carefully took the test out of your shaking hands, noting the positive result before setting it aside so he could rub your arm in comfort.

“What am I going to do?” you asked, voice shaking. “I can’t, I’m pregnant.”

“It’ll be okay,” Carisi whispered.

“How?! How the hell is this going to be okay?” you demanded pulling back from him, eyes blazing, panic seeming to fade as the anger at your situation hit you full force. “I’m pregnant, and the bastard of a father left without even so much as a good bye! I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can,” Carisi assured you. “You are so insanely strong, not to mention brave. You would be an amazing mother. Whatever decision you choose I will support you.”

“You will? Why?” you asked confused.

“You’re my friend and I care about you,” he answered, voice firm.

“Regardless of my decision?” you wanted to confirm, knowing that Carisi had his faith. “Even if I decide I don’t want to keep the baby?”

“Yes, it is your decision,” Carisi nodded. “But, again, regardless, I will support you through it. Now come on we need to get off this cold floor and you need to eat something.”

“Carisi, I can’t,” you whined, mood switching again. “My pants don’t fit.”

“I got you new ones remember?” he gently pulled you up off the floor, pulling out a handkerchief and wiped away the tears that had started to fall down your cheeks again as your rage ebbed away at the thought that your pants don’t fit.

“Oh, right,” you bit your lip as your eyes drifted up to Carisi’s face, taking in his features as he wiped away your tears. “Thank you.”

“Any time,” he smiled tapping you on the nose. “I also got some ingredients for a pasta dish.”

“Ooh, can we have that garlic bread you made the other week?” you asked brightening. Carisi’s food always made you happy, even if at first you thought it was making you gain weight.

“Yes, of course I got ingredients to make that garlic bread,” Carisi couldn’t help but laugh at not just your quick change in emotion, he was use to that, he thought it was adorable you got so excited about his food.

--

Amanda, Liv and Finn all stood around staring. Watching as Carisi handed you a container with what looked like homemade food, and he then placed a bottle of something on your desk.

“You need to remember to be taking your vitamins,” they heard him scolding you. “The Dr said your levels were low.”

“…they tasted funny,” you pouted, hand settling a little on your stomach that had started showing.

“I know that is why I went and got some different ones, apparently they taste like orange, which I know if something you are currently craving,”

“Is Carisi smiling differently?” Amanda asked, head tilted to the side.

“Yeah, he looks like y/n hung the moon,” Finn huffed.

“It’s kind of adorable,” Amanda muttered.

“She looks happy,” Liv smiled softly. She was glad to see it, you hadn’t looked so happy in months. And she was worried about what being pregnant with Rafael’s baby would do, but apparently Carisi had it all under control.

“Carisi, never brought me home made food when I was pregnant,” Amanda complained.

“That’s cause he wasn’t in love with you,” Finn chuckled as he walked away leaving the other two to watch Carisi moon over you. It was sickeningly adorable and for Carisi’s sake Finn hoped nothing went horribly wrong between the two of you. Finn would hate to have to add a list to the names of those he would shoot on sight. It currently had one.

--

You pouted. And pouted some more. Staring up at the poor man through your lashes. Said man was trying, rather admirable, to ignore you, blue eyes looking anywhere but at you. Your eyes narrowed as you stepped closer to him, puffing out your cheeks.

“Please?” you asked.

“No,” Carisi sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“Carisi,” you whined. “Please.”

“It’s nearly midnight, I am not going out to get you ice cream,”

“But I want pickles and ice cream,” you huffed. “And we only have pickles and no ice cream…oh and sprinkles! With peanut butter, that sounds sooo good. Doesn’t that sound yummy?”

“Sure,” Carisi laughed, this was the fourth time in two days that you had started out wanting something only to find several things to add to it.

“So, you’ll get the stuff?” you bounced lightly on your feet, hands moving to hold your stomach. You were entering your second trimester, and the cravings were only getting stronger.

“Fine, but you are coming with me,” Carisi tapped you on the nose, grinning when you scrunched it up.

“Good idea!” you nodded. “We can get pizza as well.”

“Pizza?” Carisi asked, face scrunching in confusion as he led you out of your apartment. You nodded, grabbing his hand without thinking and tugging him along.

“Yes, now come on.”

--

You weren’t entirely sure when your feelings for Carisi changed from friendship to wanting to always be around him. On the odd night when he wasn’t at yours you missed him, when he went out into the field and you were stuck at the desk doing paperwork, you missed him. And also worried about him an insane amount. You weren’t sure what you wanted to do with this change but you were happy to let things happen when they happened. And you didn’t wanna read into too much but he had been spending more time with you lately, it was very rare that he wasn’t over at yours or you weren’t over at his.  Like right now, the two of you had just finished an amazing dinner that Carisi had made you, and were now watching tv. You had curled up against him resting your head against his chest as his arm wrapped around your waist. You felt content in a way you hadn’t for the longest of times, and you didn’t want anything to change.

Just as you were reaching for the popcorn, your separate bowl that was drizzled with salt, sugar, caramel and chocolate, you felt a pressure in your stomach. You gasped sitting up hand pressed against your stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Caris moved with you, the arm wrapped around your waist tugging you to his side as his eyes moved between your face and your stomach, his other hand hovering over yours. “Are you in pain?”

“No, that’s not it,” you shook your head. “Oh, oh!” you grabbed his hovering hand and placed it where yours was. “The baby is moving.”

Carisi’s whole body felt warm as he felt the light pressure against his hand. His chin came to rest on your shoulder as he looked down at your stomach where your hands were joined together. He tried so hard to ignore the feelings that were building the longer he was around you, this wasn’t suppose to be anything more than a friend helping a friend but the more he watched you bounce happily when you ate his food. Or every time you looked at him with those soft eyes, pouting at him to get your way. It was near impossible to do anything but fall for you. That small little crush of his that had started when he joined the team, that he tried to ignore when he saw you liked Rafael, came back full force about two months into helping you.

“Look at that,” he whispered, his voice directly in your ear causing a small shiver to run through your body.

“Our baby has a strong kick huh?” you asked turning your head a little, nose rubbing against his cheek.

“Our baby?” Carisi felt his brain screech to a holt. You jolted, eyes wide as your own words repeated themselves through your head. Echoing a little in Carisi’s head as well.

“What?”

“You called the baby, ours,” Carisi moved his chin from your shoulder so he could look at you properly, trying hard to keep the smile from his face but there was no way to keep those blue eyes of his from shinning.

“I guess I did,” you nodded slowly licking your lips, suddenly finding it difficult to look at those eyes.

“Did you mean it?”

“I…I did,” you nibbled on your bottom lip, stomach fluttering. “I mean, you’ve taken me to every appointment, you’ve gone with me when I needed to get new clothes, you put up with every little craving I have and…you’re always here for me. Just like you said.” Your hand shook as it rose to cradle his face, thumb stroking just under his eye.

“Darling,” Carisi lent into your hand, those eyes burning bright with hope. “Can I kiss you?”

“You better,” you demanded leaning close to him.

“Gladly,” Carisi chuckled as he closed the distance between the two of you.

The feel of his lips brushing yours made your heart quicken, your hand cupping his cheek moved to cup his jaw as you angled your head, moving your lips against his. His hand on your waist stroked up to hold the back of your head, lightly tangling with your hair and tugging it gently as his tongue swiped out teasingly. You gasped into the kiss when you felt a slightly stronger kick, pulling away from the kiss you looked down where Carisi was stroking your stomach.

“Someone’s a little excited,” you smiled, pressing a kiss against his cheek before leaning back and putting both hands against your stomach. “Do, you wanna stay the night?”

--

“I want this baby out,” you groaned lowering yourself onto the couch next to Carisi holding your shoes in your hand. “I can’t put my shoes on.”

“Give em here,” Carisi rolled his eyes grabbing your shoes and kneeling in-front of you. “It won’t be long now before you give birth.”

“Thank fuck,” you rubbed your stomach giggling at Carisi when he raised an eyebrow at your comment. “Hey, you try growing a baby in you, carrying it for nine months, getting cankles, craving the oddest combination of food ever, having your body change in ways you never even thought about, your back constantly hurting, and finally needing to pee every five minutes.”

“Fair enough,” he focused on putting your shoes on, knowing already not to comment on anything that you just said. Last time he did, you cried. Although when you were crying about having cankles and he tried to be supportive you threw a pillow at him. So really, it was a fifty-fifty how you would respond.

“Come on, let’s go,” you held out your hands making grabbing motions at him.

“Alright, up you come,” Carisi grabbed hold of you and helped you up. You grinned up at him and took a step just before a sharp pain radiated from your stomach. You gabbed hold of it wincing in pain. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m totally fine,” you waved him off. “It’s just my stomach trying to kill me, been happening on and off for like the day.”

“Wait, you said your back was hurting?”

“Yeah so, I’m carrying around a watermelon,”

“Normally, constant back pain can be a sign that you are going into labour,” Carisi said. “And you are getting cramps?”

“Well, I’ve gone nearly two decades with getting cramps and while those where definitely painful these are something much different and are coming closer and closer together,”

“Um, honey,” Carisi started. “I think you might be in labour.”

“What like three weeks early? Pfft, unlikely, my family has a history of being like either exactly nine months or like two weeks late,” you shrugged just as your felt a gush of something wet leaving you. “On the other hand, I think you might be right…my water just broke.”

“Oh shit!” Carisi started to panic. “We don’t have your hospital bag ready and we don’t have our route to the hospital!”

“Dominick!” you shouted lightly tapping him on the cheek. “It’ll be fine. Let’s just go, we can always ask one of the others to get me some things.”

“Right, right,” he nodded. “Let’s go.” His arm automatically wrapping around your lower back to help support you as he offered his other arm for you to take as he led you carefully to the car.

--

“Dom, look it’s our daughter,” you whispered breathlessly staring down in wonder at the beautiful little girl in your arms. You had been worried that she would noticeably look like Rafael but thankfully your baby girl had inherited nearly everything from you, and you hoped that it stayed that way. But it truly didn’t matter. Carisi was her father in every way that counted, and every way that mattered.

“She’s gorgeous,” Carisi’s breathed, eyes wetting with tears as he carefully reached out and gently stroked her cheek. “Just like her mother.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t wipe the smile from your face. Your eyes drifted to the bag that Olivia had brought in for you, when she came in to say hello to your beautiful baby girl, and leaving with a wink.

“Sweetie, can you get something from my bag? It should be right on top,” you nodded towards it, breaking Carisi’s little mutterings that he was making towards your daughter.

“Oh, sure yeah,” he nodded distractedly. You grinned down at your daughter in secret, leaning to press a kiss to her soft little forehead.

“I’ve got a little surprise for your daddy,” you told her.

“Um, babe, is this? Is this what I think it is?” Carisi turned around holding a ring box in his hand, the lid opened to reveal a man’s ring. The band a gorgeous mixture of black, gold and silver intertwining with a hint of blue.

“Dominick Sonny Carisi, you have been my rock for the past near nine months, bringing so much happiness and light into my life,” you started, feeling yourself getting choked up. You blinked furiously. “I fell for you without even noticing. You are the father of my daughter, and without a doubt you are the love of my life. We’re already a family but I think we should make it official. Will you marry me?”

Carisi’s mouth was open, his eyes welling up with my tears as he stared at you, sitting there in the hospital bed holding his daughter. Looking more radiate than he had ever seen you. And all he could do was nod silently and take the ring out of the box and put it on his finger.

[rafaslittleboy]

I need to say this anonymously because I feel so dirty for thinking this but oh my god step brother Sonny with a breeding kink (maybe his wife can’t have kids but Sonny wants some?) so he holds you down (dub-con? I suppose, maybe a slightly established relationship.) and pumps you full of his cum going on about how you’ll look so good with his babies HAHDQJFJANDNAJ I NEED TO TEAR MY SKIN OFF I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT IT ugh just give me your babies pls Sonny

OMFGSHSB tws: stepcest, breeding kink, consensual step-incest, sly sex, quiet sex, dirty talk, coercion, AFAB reader, no gendered pronouns or persons or names, slight religious guilt.

NSFW under the cut

@noellawrites ❤️

Sonny’s hand was pressed against your mouth, trying to keep you as quiet as possible. The carisi household was either a quiet house or a house that was a few decibels higher than it should be. And right now, there was an unnatural middle—kids running around, the adults laughing downstairs—but if you made any noise higher than a whimper or a low moan, there would be a fifty percent chance it would be heard.

Tucked away in a bedroom closet, sonny was grinding his exposed cock on your wet with arousal underwear. Propped up on a low shelf, the position was just good enough for a quick, good fuck.

But sonny liked to take his time, to tease you.

“please,” you begged. It was muffled by his hand, and you tore your eyes from the cock that was rubbing against your clothed swollen clit.

“What was that?” Sonny teased, “couldn’t hear ya, need to speak up, kiddo.”

your hips tilted to try and catch the tip of his cock, but he was more skilled than you and continued to drag his cock on your crotch.

Sonny was kind, though, and he took his hand off your mouth temporarily to hear you out.

“please put your cock in me,” you begged, lust took over your body and mind that there wasn’t any shyness behind your voice. Only need.

Sonny smirked, “depends, baby… ya gonna make me put on a condom?”

Sonny knew your thoughts on protection; you figured you were too young to have a baby, with your whole life ahead of you—you didn’t want a baby to throw your life off track. With a shitty barista cafè job, still living with your mom and step-father at twenty-one years old and in college debt; this would be the worst time to get pregnant.

“Sonny…” you closed your eyes.

“C’mon… baby, would it really be that bad? Ya could move in with me—I’ll take care ‘a ya n’ the baby,”

Sonny’s mind was lust-clouded as well, but he meant what he said. If you got pregnant with his baby? He’d step up, be the father he was born to be.

“I can’t, sonny…”

Sonny pulled your damp underwear to the side and the fat, red head of his cock kissed your clit and you let out a low moan.

“Ya ever thought ‘bout how good it’ll feel when I go in raw, baby? Ever touch ya’self to the thought of me cummin’ in ya?”

You have, and you did. The condom was always put on because sonny respected you and respected the fact you didn’t want to get knocked up—and if you did, explaining to your parents that the father of your child was your own step-brother wouldn’t go down easily, either.

Your legs spread a little wider when he started to grind his cock through your wet pussy lips, closing your eyes to focus on the delight between your legs.

“Least lemme put it in raw, doll,” Sonny asked and he placed the pad of his thumb on your clit and rubbed slowly to further convince you. And it didn’t take much to do so.

“fuck… okay,” you breathe, agreeing.

Sonny smiled, gleefully, and bit his bottom lip as he eased the tip of his fat cock inside you.

The burn was what got you first, and after so long without having your big brother inside you, it felt brand new.

The moan that left your mouth was louder than he wanted, “shh—quiet,” he warned, and he slid a hand from your thigh to your cheek, and he put his thumb in your mouth.

“Feelth’s s’tho goothd,” you slurred around his thumb, and your eyelids were half-lidded. And his tip was barely inside you.

“Feels betta’ without a condom, huh?” Sonny smirked as he eased more of himself inside your sopping, tight pussy.

You nodded repeatedly, and your eyes glanced down to his cock slipping inside you and your eyelids fluttered shut.

“‘Magine how good it’ll feel if I cum in ya, baby.. feelin’ me spill inside of ya, fillin’ ya up….”

You moaned around his digit and tipped your head back against the cramped wall. His cock started to move inside of you, and you had forgotten what he felt like inside you, and then you wondered how you went so long without him pumping inside you.

Sonny took his thumb out from your mouth and used it to rub your clit, and you had to bite your lip to keep yourself quiet. “Really wanna fill ya up, baby,” Sonny moaned, tipping his head to the side.

Your pussy was unlike anything he’s ever felt before, so tight and grips him in the best way possible—and all he thinks about is cumming deep inside of you, filling you up and knocking you up. Hell, if his own girlfriend put out a little more then he wouldn’t have to drive all the way home to fuck his step-sibling—but by god, he loves it. Addicted, almost. The way your body gripped him and never wanted to let him go, how your arousal dripped from your pussy as he fucked you—no one has reacted as you have.

Your walls fluttered around his cock, the first telltale sign that you were close to an orgasm and with the added pleasure of his thumb rubbing your clit, it was happening fast.

You never expected a nice, long, sensual fuck in a cramped bedroom closet. The top of your step-brothers head had to hunch over as not to smack against the high shelf with each hard thrust of his hips. And Sonny knew your body somehow better than yourself, playing it like an instrument for so many years now. Imagining it as he touched himself as night.

“Ya gonna cum, baby?” Sonny groaned.

You nodded, feeling your lower pelvis bubble with anticipation of the orgasm creeping up on you.

“Uh huh,” you moaned.

Sonny’s cock moved inside you harder, banging you hard against the wall as he chased his own orgasm.

“Gonna cum inside ya baby,”

Your eyes fluttered open, “n… no, sonny—can’t,”

“‘M gonna fill ya up with my baby, honey, see ya swell with my baby, fuck ya everyday til’ ya give birth.”

before you could say anything, your jaw dropped ever so slightly as sonny fucked you into a powerful orgasm—an orgasm only he could give you, you’ve come to learn. Your velvety walls sucked him in and that was just enough to tip sonny over the edge.

His back bowed over you and he stifled his groan by pressing his lips into your neck, pumping his cock somehow even deeper inside you as he came. You gasped as you felt the spurts of his cum inside you, your hands grasping at him and you didn’t know whether to push him away to pull him closer.

“Sonny,” you moaned, and your step-brother peppered kisses on your neck as he prolonged his orgasm.

“see? felt real good, didn’t it?”

What sonny didn’t expect was a hit to his solid chest, and he removed his face from your neck.

“I told you not to cum in me!” you told him in a hushed whisper, finger pointing into his chest.

“Too late now, anyway,” he said as he stood (as straight as he could in the closet) and his cock was still inside you. You couldn’t deny how good it felt, and he was totally right about that; but you told him from day one that you never wanted to even risk being knocked up.

“you’re gonna have to buy me a plan b,” you told him, “I can’t… I’ve told you i can’t get pregnant,”

“I ain’t buyin’ you plan b, sweetheart, it’s against our religion. hey, if god wants ya knocked up by me, then he’ll do it.”

Sonny only chuckled and kissed you, and you hesitated for a moment but you were always weak for him, kissing him back as he pulled out and the first thing you felt was your argument falling apart as you felt so empty, his cock filled you in the best possible way. Sonny watched in the dim light as his white cum started to drip out of you; then he took his finger and fucked it back inside you.

“Ain’t wastin’ that,” he commented.

“I hate you,” you mutter, and you don’t know if there’s any meaning behind it as he softly fingers your raw, swollen pussy; pushing his cum as deep as it could go.

“nah, ‘ya love me. or at least ‘ya pussy does,” he laughs, leaving a kiss on your cheek.

your stepbrother knew he had you hypnotized by his cock, and now his DNA was inside of you, ready to start making a baby inside you.

[noellawrites]

Distance - dark!Sonny Carisi x sibling!reader

summary: your big brother Sonny comes home to visit and finds he has a lot to catch up on.

warnings: incest (kissing and touching), forced touching

notes: reader is gender neutral/no gendered terms, although ‘sweetheart’, ‘kid’, ‘kiddo’ and ‘baby’ are all used as terms of endearment.

requested by and written for @rafaslittleboy ❤️

----

You usually kept your distance from your older brother. It was easy most of the time. He had a busy job as an ADA, a girlfriend (whom you didn't like) and her kids in the mix, not to mention the two of you living in completely different boroughs.

Deep down, there was one reason above all others, though. You both loved each other... in a way that wasn't normal for siblings.

When the holidays came around, it was unavoidable. Your siblings brought their kids or step-kids or husbands or partners and you were always just there, alone, listening to your Italian-American family get louder and louder as the night progressed.

And today was definitely not an exception.

The whole family was home celebrating your parents’ wedding anniversary. It was different from the typical family holidays where everyone and their own families came, sharing sleeping bags and blow up mattresses.

"(y/n), are there any boys or girls we should know about?” Gina’s voice cut through the room as the rest of your sisters and your brother turned around to watch your reaction closely. Your family was quite protective and romantic relationships were no exception. You and Bella still talk about how much you hate Amanda behind her back.

“No, I’m not really into the dating scene. I’m too busy with school and work,” you explain. Everyone nods in understanding and goes back to their conversations. All but Sonny, whose gaze lingers on you for another moment.

After dinner, you take a seat on the couch next to your niece, Mia, who was basically the same age as you so it felt weird calling her your niece. Amanda's kids somehow still hadn't run out of energy, so they were running around the kitchen and dining room. You said a silent prayer for your ma's china cabinet.

You nodded along deftly to the discussion, which had recently descended into an argument about having a family vacation next summer. It got hard to fake your interest after a while, so you decided to excuse yourself and go upstairs.

Checking your phone, you realized how late it was. You hoped to god that Amanda wouldn't be staying over. The last time that happened, you had to sleep on the couch while her two daughters got to sleep in your bed.

You crept into Sonny's childhood room, relics of his past still gracing the walls. Old sports trophies, stuffed animals, old toys.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw a large book peeking out of his bookshelf. You remembered this vividly: it was one of the Carisi family photo albums.

You inch it off of the shelf and carry it over to Sonny's bed, sitting down on it while flipping open the photo book.

You skimmed through pictures of him as an altar server at your family's church, school field trips, pictures from the Police Academy, old girlfriends, family vacations.

And then you came to the page. The very first image was your mother holding her small bump, looking old and exhausted, pregnant at almost fifty. A twenty-three year old Sonny with his arms around her. You kept flipping. A messy-haired Sonny holding his little infant sibling and looking so proud.

You thought looking through the photos would help you realize how wrong you felt, but the lump in your throat grew. There were so many more photos of you and Sonny.

“Hey kid, what’cha doin’?”

Your heart banged in your chest and you turned your head, seeing your brother leaning against the doorframe.

“I-I’m sorry, Sonny—“ you said, hurriedly shutting the photo album and setting it on the floor.

“Nah, don’t be sorry. I look at ‘em sometimes too, feels like just yesterday I was holdin’ ‘ya in my arms,” he smiles, walking over and sitting next to you on his bed.

Your bodies draw into each other and you instinctively lean into his chest. There was something so special about your big brother, so much comfort in the fact that he’s always been there for you.

“I’m happy ‘ya home, kiddo. I miss seein’ ‘ya,” he smiles, ruffling your hair.

“I miss seeing you too. It’s not the same, living without my big brother,” you sigh.

You look up at your brother. Since he’d been promoted to detective and sent to Manhattan’s Special Victims Unit, you’ve noticed changes in him.

“I miss 'ya too, but it won't be too bad, me livin' in Manhattan. 'Ya always welcome to come 'n stay, kiddo," he says, and you nod, giving him a tight smile.

As you lean back into his chest, you feel his fingers tracing lower, lingering past your waist, in a move disguised as comfort.

"'Ya body's changed a lot since I last saw 'ya. Lookin' real good, kid. Really growin' up," he hums.

A soft blush rises up your cheeks. “That’s what happens when you’re too busy with work to come visit us,” you nudge playfully.

“I’m gonna change that, kiddo. I’m gonna be ‘round here a lot more, gonna make sure I ain’t missin’ nothin’,” he reassures.

You turn and press your face into the soft fabric of Sonny’s dress shirt, inhaling the smell of his woodsy cologne and bergamot laundry detergent.

“Good,” you smile, reaching a finger up to play with one of his shirt buttons.

Sonny looks down at your soothed expression as you toy with his shirt playfully. After stealing a quick glance at the door, he looks down and puts his hand over yours.

“Why don’t we take this off, hm?” he asks, starting to unbutton his shirt from the top.

Now, it was your turn to look at the door, still slightly ajar. Your heart pounded at the thought of one of your family members catching you in such a compromising situation with your brother.

“Go close it, sweetheart,” he orders, placing his hand on your cheek softly. You nod and mechanically obey.

You turn back around to see your big brother leaned back against the headboard, smirking, shirt open to expose his chest and slightly rounded stomach.

“Whatever this is… we shouldn’t be doing it,” you say hesitantly.

“Nah it’ll be our lil’ secret, kiddo. Been wantin’ ‘ya like this f’so long,” he groans.

You glance back to the door, even though you know you’ve already shut and locked it.

All of a sudden, your brother’s hand pulls you onto the bed and into his lap, laughing at your skittishness.

“Kiddo, ain’t nobody gonna hear us, alright? Banged plenty’a chicks in this room ‘n my day,” he laughs, reaching up to cup your cheek. “Jus’ gotta focus on me, hm?”

You lay across his parted legs, both of you shimmying further down the bed so you could lay comfortably on top of him. You could feel his hardening member against your legs and it made you want to curl up and turn away from him.

But you couldn’t.

Your big brother leans up slightly, placing his soft lips on yours. He deepens the kiss and you let out an accidental, blissful moan.

“‘Ya like that, baby?” he asks, amused, one eyebrow cocked.

You lean up to meet his lips and he sticks his tongue in your mouth, deepening the kiss, touching all over your body as you focus on him.

“Sonny, n-no—“ you gasp, moving his hand away from where it rested, toying with the band of your underwear with his long fingers.

“‘S okay baby, gonna feel good,” he promises, fingers dancing below the elastic and touching your nerve-filled skin.

As Sonny sticks a finger inside your hole, you try to hide your pained, uncomfortable wince.

Sonny leans into your lips again, kissing you passionately and leading you into a heated makeout session. You weren’t quite sure what to do except follow his lead, so you push your hand down to his crotch and rub at his hard cock.

“Fuck, sweetheart!” he hisses, mouth hanging open.

“Is th-this okay?” you squeak, eyes wide.

“God, kiddo, yeah, ‘s more than okay,” he moans, throwing his head back.

You’re not sure what else to do, so you lean down and give him a few soft kisses on his long, open neck.

You’d seen people do that on TV and it seemed to make them feel good, so you figured it couldn’t hurt.

“Pull ‘ma cock out, sweetheart,” he breathes, guiding your fingers to his pants zipper.

“Sonny, I-I don’t know if—“

“C’mon, sweetheart. ‘Ya wanna make ‘ya big brotha’ feel good, right? Wanna make me happy?” he urges.

“I-I guess so,” you say, voice wavering.

As you feel around to grab his cock and pull it out of his boxers, you hear your mom’s voice ring out from downstairs.

“Dessert is ready, everyone!” she calls, immediately causing an uproar from Amanda’s rowdy children and Bella’s little one that you could hear all the way upstairs.

You and Sonny looked at each other, wide-eyed.

“Go downstairs, kid. I gotta take care’a this first. ‘N later, we’ll have s’more fun,” he promises, giving you a dizzying kiss on the lips before nudging you off the bed.

You turn and walk to the door, your brother behind you jerking his cock off with labored breaths.

You opened the door, walked through and closed it behind you, knowing nothing would ever be the same between you.

[mx-pastelwriting]

Kinktober Day 8: Handcuffs

Sonny Carisi x GN! Reader

Summary: Sonny having taken his cop belt home accidentally you make use of the mistake, picking out the metal handcuffs that hung on them.

Warnings: Established Relationships, Smut, Roleplay, Little bit of Cop Roleplay, Cuffed Reader

Kinktober Masterlist

Minors do not interact!

Seated on the couch watching whatever was on to stay awake, waiting for your Sonny to come home. Both of you have an equal amount of hate for his late nights, barely spending time with him, not counting the quick mornings when he speeds out the door.

Hearing the sound of the front door opening then closing, you turn to see Sonny. Tired, handling multiple things at once. Getting up from the couch, coming over to help while scanning him, feeling as if something looked out of place. Grabbing the bags of takeout, leaving him with his coat and keys, finally realizing what it was.

"You have your cop belt still on," you say, causing his attention to snap down to his hips. "Shit," he curses tiredly, you watch as he rushes over the kitchen counter, throwing down everything.

As he undid the belt, you caught a glimpse of something that shined in the dim kitchen light. Putting down the bags of takeout, paying little attention to Sonny's distress as he called Olivia, standing nearby, staring at the shiny metal handcuffs that were clipped, oh, so safely onto the belt.

Ending the call, still turned away, you quickly took the cuffs, only to hold them up dangling from your finger. Hearing the sound of metal, Sonny turned, seeing you smirking, knowing already all the ideas that ran through your head.

"Come on, give them back," he says, accent thick, shyly smiling at your playful demeanor. Swinging around the cuffs with one finger pulling away as he tries to grab them.

"And what if I say no? You going to arrest me?" you ask, holding up the handcuffs high with a raised brow, hoping for him to play along a little longer.

"I just might have to," he says, securing that hope a little more as he moves in closer. Inch by inch until your lips met, only for him to take his opportunity, snatching away the cuffs, leaving your plans null and void.

Breaking away, seeing his grin, you frown, only to hear a repeated clicking sound coming from your raised arm. Barely having time to look before being turned around and pressed against the kitchen counter. Feeling something poked your ass, knowing it wasn't Sonny's belt as it lay right in front of you. Shifting your hips around, hearing as he groaned, only leaning in harder.

"What are you going to do to me, Officer?" You tease, hands now fully cuffed as his own traveled to your hips, failing to hold them still. Quickly giving up, removing his hands from your body, hearing the familiar sound of his work pants being undone.

From the button being undone to the zipper, the sound of each step made you squirm on full display for him to devour. That he did, though slowly, softly, his fingertips played with the hem of your bottom clothing, with one quick motion pulling them down, leaving you to shiver in the cold apartment air.

Half naked in your shared kitchen, yearning for your Sonny's cock, cuffed, unable to hold yourself up. Laying halfway down on the cold granite counter, but warmth quickly sparks in you. Bliss flooded up through you as Sonny's warm cock was engulfed by your soft, wet walls, moans echoing out from both of you.

Sloppily thrusting, too impatient to recover from the overwhelming feeling of your euphoric walls, though quickly getting bold with each thrust. Feeling as he pulled firmly on the cuffs, ensuring no squirm as he took the rains of the night's plans.

Hello, I hope you enjoyed if there is any grammar mistakes or misspellings sorry about that feel free to let me know in the comments, have a great day/afternoon/night!

Fanfiction is protected under copyright law when plagiarism is involved. If you plagiarize my work, either a piece or whole in any language, I will take legal action. Inspiration or the same idea does NOT apply to this, only word-for-word plagiarism in any language.

♥ mx-pastelwriting does not consent to their fanfiction being copied, copied & credited, translated, used in videos and/or audios, screenshotted, used in AI, or reposted on any other platform without permission.

♥ mx-pastelwriting does give consent to "reblog," sharing links to direct work, and being in recommend lists.

Kinktober Taglist: @reidsbookcase @vaexox @hope69world @jaeminsmilk

@raajali3 @crustyowos @fly-on-the-wall @alexdoesart9 @www-interludeshadow-com

@carolb111 @thays0 @theescorpiolovechile @lokiiified

[metalmonki]

Objection! Part 3

Rafael Barba x fem!Carisi!reader

1k word count

Summary All you wanted was to be a lawyer like your big brother Sonny. So what happens when you get a job working under the famous ADA Rafael Barba

slow-burn, colleague to friends to lovers

Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

Coffees and food in hand, I made my way back to the district attorney's office. As I walked through the door, I heard a familiar voice call out behind me.

"Y/N, Rafa is really putting you to work, isn’t he?" Olivia smiled as she caught up and fell into step with me.

"Lieutenant Benson, hardly. This is just a thank you for everything, and something to tide us over while we look over a case together," I smiled back at her.

"Oh, please, call me Liv," she laughed. "I hope my team didn’t scare you off."

"No, they're wonderful! If anything, I’m mad that Sonny didn’t introduce us all earlier."

"If it makes you feel any better, we all thought he only had one sister until Fin overheard him talking with Rafa about getting you a job. Then he tells us he has four sisters!" Olivia laughed, holding open Rafael's office door for me.

Rafael looked up from his desk, raising an eyebrow when he saw us all smiles and laughter.

"Getting along well, I see," Rafael remarked, keeping his face neutral.

"Yeah, just talking about Sonny," I smiled, placing a coffee and a sandwich in front of him. "This is a thank you for saving me at the courthouse earlier."

"Oh, no thanks needed. We all get lost there our first day," Rafael smiled. "Now, Liv, what can I help you with?" He turned his attention to her.

"The guy we arrested yesterday wants to make a deal. He’ll give us all the other guys he knows who are holding girls in exchange for a reduced sentence and protective custody," Olivia quickly switched to business mode.

"Tell him I’ll be in to discuss a deal first thing in the morning," Rafael sighed.

"Great, I’ll leave you two to whatever it is ADAs do," Olivia smiled, walking out of the office.

Rafael waved a hand at her as she left, then picked up a pile of papers from his desk and brought them over to a coffee table on the other side of the room. He motioned for me to sit down on the lounge next to the coffee table before retrieving his coffee and sandwich. He handed me some paperwork from the pile and directed me to read while he ate. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed him trying to eat in manageable bites while fighting the urge to just devour the entire sandwich. It was clear this was his first meal of the day—or at least since breakfast. I felt a pang of guilt for not getting something more substantial. Mental note: find a good takeout place nearby to keep this man fed. Sonny would probably know a few spots.

I turned my attention back to the paperwork, my heart sinking as I read the case summary and saw who the defense attorney was.

"You're in for one hell of a fight here, Barba," I looked over at him.

"You got all that from just reading the case outline?" Rafael asked, taking the final bite of his sandwich.

"That, and the fact that the defense attorney is Buchanan. It's glaringly obvious from the outline what tactics he'll try to use," I sighed.

"So, you know about Buchanan?" Rafael smirked.

"And you, Cabot, Novak, Langan, Calhoun, Ellis... If they’ve worked in New York, I’ve likely studied them," I admitted, a little embarrassed.

"Know thine enemy," Rafael chuckled. "So walk me through it."

I nodded and began breaking down the case for Rafael. If Buchanan wasn’t the defense attorney, I’d say it was open and shut. But with the victim being a prostitute, it was a given that Buchanan would try to use that as a justification. Clearly, Rafael had already anticipated this, as there was an in-depth criminal record for the defendant and even evidence to make the victim look more like a saint. It was a strong case, and I told Rafael so—the real hurdle was Buchanan. We spent hours going over every piece of evidence, discussing everything, every possible defense, every argument that could be made. By the time we finished, the city outside was lit up with its nightlife. The clock on the wall read 9:30. Rafael had a massive smile on his face.

"You're every bit as good as Carisi said you would be," he smiled.

"I have to be," I replied with a small smile.

I could tell he wanted to press on my answer but held back, choosing to nod instead.

"So, you're happy to keep working for me?" Rafael asked.

"It would be my pleasure," I smiled.

"Great. I'll see you tomorrow at 8 at the 16th because, for every bit of good you are, you somehow managed to forget to pick up the files I asked for," Rafael smirked, my eyes widening in realization.

"Oh my gosh, I am so sorry! I completely forgot! Sonny is still working; I can run over to the 16th now and grab the files," I rushed to grab my phone, but before Rafael could speak, it rang. "Speak of the devil. Sonny, I was just about to call you."

"Great minds think alike. You still burning the midnight oil with Barba?" he chuckled.

"Yeah, I’m here with Barba. Why?" I asked, glancing at Rafael.

"Great! We’re all taking a break for dinner and wanted to see if you wanted to join us at Forlini’s?"

"That actually sounds amazing! We were just wrapping up here, so we’ll meet you there. Also, Sonny, could you bring along any cases you need us to look over? Please? I completely forgot to pick them up earlier," I added, feeling sheepish.

"Uh oh, first-day foul," Sonny laughed. "But yes, I can be an awesome big brother and bring them with me."

"Thank you, I owe you one," I hung up the phone and turned back to Barba. "The team is headed to Forlini’s for dinner and asked us to join."

"Sounds great to me," Rafael smiled.

We began packing up all the paperwork, slotting it back into the various files they had come from. Once everything was returned to its place, Rafael placed the files into a cabinet by his desk, grabbed his jacket, and slid it on while holding the office door open for me. I walked out as Rafael grabbed his briefcase and fell into step beside me, chatting about how, if he hadn’t been asked out for dinner with the team, he likely would have gone home and crashed without eating. I had to laugh and agree that I would have done the same.

I’d never been to Forlini’s, but Sonny had brought me food from there a few times, so I was looking forward to actually eating there for once. Rafael waved down a cab and told the driver where to go. When we pulled up in front of Forlini’s, Rafael had his wallet out and paid for the cab before I could protest. He climbed out first, holding the door open for me. My heart raced—he really was a gentleman.

Forlini’s was crowded, and Rafael placed his hand on the small of my back to guide me through the crowd. He said something about knowing where to find the others, but I couldn’t hear him over the noise. We came to a stop in front of a group of tables in the far back corner where Sonny, Fin, Amanda, Nick, and Olivia were already sitting, drinks in hand, laughing away.

"Should you be drinking if you’re still working?" Rafael chuckled, taking a seat and motioning for me to sit next to him.

"The only one here still working is Water Boy over there," Fin smirked, pointing at Sonny.

"Yeah, someone’s been neglecting their paperwork," Amanda laughed.

Sonny gave them a "stuff off" look before turning to me.

“Come è andato il primo giorno?” Sonny asked, leaning back in his chair. (How did the first day go?)

“È stato fantastico, perché?” I replied with a smile. (it was great, why?)

“Volevo solo assicurarmi che Barba ci andasse piano con te,” he said, a hint of concern in his voice. (I just wanted to make sure Barba went easy on you.)

“Ti preoccupi troppo,” I giggled, reaching for a menu in the middle of the table. (You worry too much)

It was at that point I noticed the entire table had fallen silent. Everyone was looking at Sonny and me with wide eyes, and Rafael looked like he was about to have an aneurysm. Clearly, Sonny hadn’t mentioned to anyone that he knew Italian.

“You speak Italian too?” Rafael was the first to break the silence.

“Uh, yes. Sonny never told any of you he could speak Italian?” I asked, looking around the table.

“No, he didn’t,” Olivia said, turning to Sonny. “What does Rafael mean by ‘you speak Italian too’?”

“Oh, I also speak Spanish,” I shrugged casually.

“Wow, Carisi, your sister’s amazing,” Nick smiled. “Veo que nos vamos a llevar bien, señorita.” (I can see we’re going to get along well, missy.)

“Hey, Amaro, eyes off my sister, alright?” Sonny pointed a finger at him, half-joking.

I couldn’t help but laugh at the two of them, and the rest of the table joined in. Rafael, however, seemed to be glaring at Nick. I decided it would be best to wait until it was just Rafael and me before asking what his problem with Nick was. I joined the conversation at the table, and the whole team treated me like I’d been working with them for years. I felt at ease with them faster than I had with anyone else. For the first time, I felt like I’d found where I belonged.

When dinner was over, Sonny handed the files I had left behind to Rafael and excused himself to return to the office. The others wandered off to their various homes, and Rafael offered to see me home, even though it meant traveling further than his own place. He hailed us another cab and held the door open while I climbed in. I gave the driver my address before turning to Rafael.

“Okay, spill it,” I said, watching him.

“What?” Rafael looked at me, caught off guard.

“You don’t like Nick. Why?” I asked directly.

“He’s a playboy. Ever since his wife divorced him, he’s been running through women like he needs them to breathe,” Rafael said, looking out the cab window. “I just don’t want to see him do the same to you. He’s already slept with Amanda and half the female officers in the 16th, so I wouldn’t put it past him to target you next.”

“I can take care of myself, but thank you for your concern,” I smiled, appreciating his protective nature.

The cab came to a stop in front of mine and Sonny’s apartment building. I wished Rafael goodnight before making my way inside, desperate for sleep before I had to be at the 16th at 8 a.m.

[pascalispretty]

Sonny Carisi and the cabin/camping prompt ♥️

summertime, and the livin' is easy

Sonny Carisi x F!Reader

Rating: Gen

Word Count: 1.6k

Tags: fluff, vacation Sonny, implied friends to lovers, Sonny being adorable, Sonny being a hypochondriac

Summary: Sonny has special plans for your anniversary. (ao3)

A/N: Written as a request for @storiesofsvu's birthday bingo, filling the square 'Camping/Cabin Retreat'!

Though it was well into the evening, the sun still shone brightly as Sonny led you outside. The cabin that the two of you had rented for the long weekend backed onto a pretty lake, surrounded by trees. It was a postcard-perfect place, one that you had happily agreed to renting as soon as Sonny had forwarded you the link.

Sonny, being Sonny, found a way to improve upon perfection.

He had packed you off to shower with the promise of plans for dinner, and he had certainly delivered. The little stone-flagged terrace at the back of the cabin has been cleared, the patio furniture shifted to the sides and the chairs liberated of their cushions. Just beyond, on the grass between the terrace and the jetty, Sonny has spread blankets and pillows out for a picnic.

Calling it a picnic is a disservice, really. There are citronella candles staked into the grass to keep bugs away, and a champagne bucket cooling in the middle of the blankets. There’s already a charcuterie board laid out as a starter, covered with a glass cloche to protect it from insects. Before you can take a step further towards his carefully laid-out display, you turn and throw your arms around his neck.

“You did all this for me?” You ask into his shoulder, holding him close against you. One of his large hands comes to rest between your shoulder blades, his bare skin on yours making you shiver in spite of the heat.

“Of course I did. Happy anniversary, Doll.”

“You’re making my scrapbooking efforts look bad.” With the cost of the cabin, the two of you had agreed not to buy one another gifts to commemorate the two-year anniversary of your first date. You had, instead, emptied the keepsake box under your bed out and pasted everything – ticket stubs and flower petals and Polaroids – into a book that you’d given him earlier that day.

“I couldn’t ever make that look bad, Doll. I still can’t believe you kept all that,” he says softly, his lips pressing a gentle kiss to the top of your head. “C’mon, let’s sit down before the ice melts.”

The two of you take your seats on the cushions pilfered from the patio furniture, your sundress riding up past your knees as you sit. You can’t help but notice Sonny stealing a glance at the glimpse of your thigh on display, narrowly missing his own nose with the pop of the champagne cork. Instead it flies over his shoulder, landing somewhere behind him in the grass. You can’t help but giggle at the look of surprise on Sonny’s face, and soon enough he’s laughing along with you.

Still giggling, he pours you both a glass of champagne. You take a moment just to admire him as he pours; the flex of his hand around the neck of the bottle, the way his Fordham t-shirt stretches over his shoulders, the lock of hair falling across his forehead. Handsome and kind and thoughtful; you wonder sometimes how you ever got so lucky.

The food is, as always, delicious. You’ll never get tired of Sonny’s cooking, his ability to make even basic meals taste incredible. You’re not sure you’ll ever be over his garlic bread, which you had pronounced as ‘better than sex’ before you started dating and which had earned you a flushed look from Sonny.

He leaves you with the last of the prosciutto roses, heading back into the cabin to fetch the main course. You nearly squeal with childlike glee when you realise what he’s made for dinner, barely resisting the urge to grab the serving bowl from him as he settles back down on the blankets.

“I cannot believe you made penne alla vodka. Did you really get all that from the farmer’s market?” You ask in disbelief as he spoons it onto your plate. He had left you browsing the cute bookstore in town while he went shopping for food earlier, but you hadn’t thought he’d bought this much. It smells mouth-watering, topped with just the right amount of cheese. You dig in with indecent haste once Sonny passes the plate to you, a soft smile on his handsome face.

“Nah. I made the sauce before we came and brought a jar with me. And the pasta is store-bought.” Before Sonny, you would never have thought of having any other kind of pasta. Now, it’s not unusual for you to come home to Sonny with flour on his cheek, kneading away at dough to slice into neat noodles or perfect squares for ravioli.

It’s not the most complicated dish he makes, but it’s one he knows you like. He made it the very first time he cooked for you after you’d finally started dating. Much later he had confessed to elaborate plans for a veal dish that hadn’t worked; the penne alla vodka had been a last-minute replacement, and you had loved it all the same.

The conversation comes in fits and starts as you both eat your pasta. Sonny has plans for an early morning run around the lake tomorrow, which means you have plans to come down with a headache tomorrow morning. The sun slowly sinks lower in the sky, casting longer shadows and turning everything soft and golden.

You both have to take a breather after dinner. Sonny reclines back against the cushions, his long legs sprawled out in front of him.

“Maybe we should leave this set up,” he says, stretching out. “I could take a nap out here.”

“It’s very comfortable. Be nice to read out here.”

“Maybe we should do that after dinner. It’ll probably still be light out,” Sonny suggests, his shirt riding up just enough to give you a glimpse of his stomach. He sits back up, rearranging his legs underneath him.

“Can you do me a favour please, Doll?” He asks, rubbing his side. “Could you grab my water bottle from the refrigerator? I think I need a break from the champagne.”

“Of course! I’ll be right back.” Stuffed full as you are, it takes you a moment longer to stand than perhaps it should. In the interests of saving time, you grab the pasta dishes and take them inside on your way, stacking them by the sink to worry about later. Grabbing Sonny’s water, you return outside, the grass soft under your bare feet.

“Thank you, sweetheart.” Sonny smiles gratefully up at you before taking a sip of water. “Oh hey, that candle behind you has gone out.” You’re already sat back down, so you half-turn to see what he’s talking about. The citronella candle staked in the grass a foot or so away from you has indeed gone out.

“Here, you should relight it. I’d hate for you to get bit.” He hands you a long lighter, and you roll your eyes as you turn around to light it. It’s far enough away that you have to get on your knees, your back to Sonny as to try to produce a flame from the lighter.

“More like you don’t wanna get bit. I’ve told you before Sonny, you can’t get malaria in New York.” Finally, a flame appears at the tip of the lighter, and you relight the tall candle. Satisfied that the fire has caught, you start to turn around. “There, are you-” You freeze midsentence. While you were turned around, Sonny moved.

He’s on one knee in front of you, an open ring box in his hand.

“Sonny-?” You start, your brain not quite catching up to the image in front of you.

“I had a whole speech planned out. About- about all the little things I love about you, and how even when we were just friends I was crazy in love with you. And how much I love the way my family loves you, even when you help my sisters pick on me. I don’t know, I guess I shoulda written it down, but – I love you so much, Doll. More than anything. And I wanna spend the rest of my life doing that, so will you marry me?”

Sonny’s beautiful blue eyes look glassy with emotion, his breath catching just enough for you to notice.

“Oh, Sonny-” Your stupid, traitorous voice cracks, and you furiously rub your prickling eyes. “Dominick Carisi, of course I’ll marry you.”

He nearly drops the ringbox in his haste to pull you close, and you go eagerly into his arms. His kisses are frantic, peppering your lips, your cheek, your temple. It’s only when one of you manages to knock over one of the champagne glasses that you come back to yourselves, laughing as you try to soak up the spill with napkins.

“I think you’re supposed to put that on my finger,” you say teasingly, unable to keep the gigantic smile off your face. Sonny’s dimples are on full display as he takes the ring from the box and slides it onto your finger. It’s a beautiful ring; it looks vintage, and something you’ll gladly wear for the rest of your life.

Through a mix of laughter and tears, you grab Sonny’s hand and squeeze tightly.

“I can’t believe you!” You exclaim, a worried look flitting briefly across his face. “We said we weren’t gonna buy each other an anniversary present!”

“This isn’t an anniversary present, Doll, it’s an engagement ring. It doesn’t count as a gift.”

“God, spoken like a lawyer,” you say, having to rub your eyes again to chase away any lingering tears. Rather than continuing to sit opposite him on the blanket, you move to sit beside him, his arm immediately coming up to wrap around your shoulders.

“You’ll have to get used to it. You’re gonna be married to one,” he says, pleased. You tilt your head up to kiss him again, softly and slowly. When you finally break apart, you bring up your hand to cup his jaw, engagement ring glinting in the light of the sunset.

“I can’t wait to be married to you.”

Taglist:

@avengersfan25 @misscharlielulu @apenny4thots @irishavengersassemble

[sematarygirls]

Ooh okay! What about Sonny being obsessed with a detective and he’s an ADA? Maybe he recently divorced Amanda and he’s been lusting over the reader. He ends up stalking and kidnapping them, maybe not a traditional “kidnapping” but he drugs reader at dinner in his apartment and keeps reader there? Feel free to change anything to make it more comfortable for you!

꒰ i need him to kidnap me so bad, bro ꒱ 𝅄

  ／ you had grown quite close to ada carisi over the past couple weeks. you felt bad for the guy, honestly. he seemed so stressed—a neverending mountain of cases always seeming to be stacked on his desk—and he also seemed incredibly sad ever since he returned from his temporary leave from the da's office.

you noticed how he seemed to be throwing himself head first into work more than usual and couldn't help but wonder what was wrong. you had a nasty habit of always needing to fix other people's problems. you didn't like unresolved conflicts and seeing how they effected people, so you started trying to befriend him.

surprisingly, he was very receptive to your gestures of baked goods and checking up on him every now and then. in fact, he was very enthusiastic to get to know you more.

of course, you brushed this off. you'd heard that he was a particularly friendly guy, and after learning of his recent divorce—the very reason for his aforementioned absence—you figured he just needed a friend, someone to talk to.

admittedly, sonny had never noticed you before. he was always so caught up with work and amanda and her daughters, but now that he had noticed you, he never wanted to let you go. you were the most attractive person he'd ever seen, and your kindness was so alluring. you were so soft, a rarity in this world, and practically unheard of in this field. he felt a fierce need to protect you that he'd never felt before.

it wasn't his proudest moment when he'd followed you home. he told himself he just wanted to make sure you were safe. he knew better than anyone that anything could happen, especially in the middle of the night on a new york street.

and once he realized that you didn't even notice that you were being followed, well, he just knew he had to keep following you. it was for your own safety. you were so naive and trusting; you needed someone to look after you—someone like him.

and so he began to stalk you. though, he didn't like that word. it was so harsh, so criminal, and what he was doing was out of the goodness of his own heart. he was simply looking out for you.

he watched you from a distance, observing your daily routine of going out for breakfast before work. you went at the same time every day to the same place, always sitting in the same table.

he tsked. you were just asking for someone to try something. your routine was too predictable, too easy to follow. you were lucky that you had someone like him to look out for you.

all throughout this, you were completely unaware of his presence constantly looming, always watching. you continued up appearances at work, always smiling and joking with him. you two started growing close, very close.

you were so happy to have such a kind man to call your friend. he was always offering to take you out to eat and calling you to check in. he cared about you, and you cared about him.

that's why, when he invited you over for dinner at his apartment, you enthusiastically accepted the offer. you thought the intimate environment would allow you two to get to know eachother better, something you were eagerly looking forward to. you were dying to know all about him, your excitement showing through when you showed up half an hour early.

you two talked and laughed as he made you dinner, eventually sitting down to eat. it was so comfortable, so normal. you never would have expected the sinister plan that was going to unfold at the hands of someone you considered such a close friend.

"wow, sonny, that was incredible," you grinned as you finished up your food, tilting your wine glass to your lips to drink the last bit remaining. you hadn't noticed the way he stared intensely everytime you took a sip, a satisfied smile pulling at his lips when you finished the glass.

"i'm glad you liked it," he said, eyeing you oddly, like he was expecting something. "i love having someone to cook for."

"well, you're very good at it," you complimented him. he was so sweet to do this for you, to invite you over and cook for you. suddenly, you felt a wave of nausea hit you, your bright smile faltering. "um," you cleared your throat. "could i use your bathroom?"

"yeah, of course," he nodded, smiling. "it's the first door on your right." he pointed down the hallway. you smiled gratefully and stood, feeling lightheaded. you blinked, your vision starting to blur as you gripped the edge of the table, stumbling. you were suddenly feeling very strange. "are you okay?" he asked, feigning concern as he made his way to your side, wrapping his arm around your waist to keep you upright.

"i just-" you felt your limbs growing heavier by the second. "something's wrong," you gripped him for support.

"geez, i didn't think you were such a lightweight," he laughed, wrapping both arms securely around your waist. even now, you were still completely oblivious to what he'd done.

"i-i think i'm gonna- gonna..." you drifted off, your eyes drooping shut as your body fell limp. his grip around you kept you from falling to the floor. he hooked an arm under your legs, lifting you up to carry you bridal style to his bedroom.

he laid you gently on the bed, smiling fondly as he brushed your hair from your face. you looked so peaceful, so safe. he reached into his bedside table, retrieving his old handcuffs from when he was a detective and locking one around your wrist and the other to the bedframe to keep you from leaving.

he needed to keep you safe and sound, and the only way to ensure that would happen was if you were with him. he could look after you, take care of you, keep you from doing stupid things—it was the only way to ensure that you stayed out of danger.

he had to do it.

he really hoped that you would understand when you woke up, and he explained that it was for your own good, but he knew that, if you didn't at first, you would in time. you would learn to appreciate his love and attentiveness to your wellbeing. soon you would see that it was all for you.

he waited eagerly for you to awake, so he could just explain what was going on. he knew you were going to be scared, but it wasn't him you should be scared of—it was out there where he couldn't protect you!

finally, your eyelids began to flutter open, a soft groan leaving your lips that had his ears perking up. he was holding your hand—the one that had been handcuffed— and his grip tightened as you stirred.

you rubbed your eyes with the hand that wasn't being held. your mind was hazy, and you didn't notice the cold metal locked around your wrist until you tried to sit up.

"what the..." you trailed off, your eyes finding the handcuff that had rattled against the bedframe as you moved. you followed the chain to your hand, engulfed by his. a pit of unease formed in your stomach as bile rose to your throat.

"shh," he cooed, running his thumb over your skin to soothe you. "it's okay." the look in his eyes was one devoid of guilt or shame. in fact, he looked completely and utterly proud of himself.

"sonny, what's going on?" you asked, your voice shaking with fear as you tugged against the handcuff.

"I just want to protect you," he said softly, reaching out to caress your cheek. he frowned when you jerked away from his touch. "now, don't be like that," he said firmly. "i'm doing you a favor. you should be thanking me."

"thanking you?" you asked incredulously, searching his eyes for any sign that this was just some sick joke, but his expression was dead serious, his eyebrows furrowing in that manner they always did when he was focused.

"yes, thanking me," he reiterated. "the world is so cruel, especially to pretty little things like yourself," he brushed your hair from your face, and it took every ounce of control in your body not to jerk away again. you didn't know what he'd do if he was mad, and you didn't want to find out. "so, i'm going to keep you here, with me. that way, nothing can happen to you."

you wondered how the man in front of you was the same man you met all those weeks ago. the same man who would hold doors open for you and take you out to lunch. how was that the same man who thought it was completely rational to handcuff you to a bed?

"sonny, please," you pleaded, your eyes darting around the room. "let's just talk, okay? just uncuff me and we can talk."

"i'm not stupid," he said, standing from the bed and crossing his arms. he looked down at you, his expression darkening. "i know you'll try to run."

"i-i won't!" you assured him helplessly. "i promise!"

"don't lie to me," his jaw clenched, his brows furrowing farther. "maybe, if you're a good girl, and prove to me that you will behave and not try to leave, i will uncuff you, but until then, you're staying put."

you felt like a weight had been placed on your chest, panic beginning to set in as the gravity of your situation dawned on you. you had been kidnapped, and you had no idea how you were going to get away.

he headed toward the door. you had taken so long to wake up that now, he had to get to work. "oh," he said, stopping in the doorway to turn to you. "and don't even try to scream. i soundproofed the whole apartment."

it was a lie. he didn't have the time or funds to do that, especially not after the divorce had drained him of his savings. besides, it would have looked suspicious to do so. but, you didn't know any of these things, and you were so afraid and he had said it so confidently that you had no choice but to believe him. he had you eating out of the palm of his hand.

as you watched him leave, hearing the bedroom door lock behind him, you couldn't help the tears beginning to fall. you felt hopeless, afraid, alone, and utterly betrayed. this man you thought you knew—you thought was your friend—had done the unimaginable. you didn't even know who he was anymore, and you were locked in his apartment, completely at his mercy.

[bullet-prooflove]

Past Mistakes Part Twenty: Bad News - Mike Duarte x Reader (feat: Joe Velasco)

Tagging: @mysoulisasunflower @resonmalvo @@littleone65 @thesandbeneathmytoes @mydarkestsecretlol @evee87 @wooshwastaken @hearthockey @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @rosaliedepp @thatesqcrush @storiesofsvu @whateversomethingbruh @burningpeachpuppy @legit9thlunaticwarrior @kiwiithecrazybird @spooky-pomegranate @telepathay @weiwei0210 @spaghettificationandpretzels @plaidbooks @crazy4chickennuggets @kmc1989 @withakindheartx

Past Mistakes Series:

Part One: Try - Mike turns back up in your life after three years apart.

Part Two: Hope (NSFW) - Mike and you get reaquainted.

Part Three: California - Mike and you discuss the past.

Part Four: Favours - Mike asks Liv for a favour.

Part Five: Choices - Mike comes face to face with someone from his past.

Part Six: Truth Hurts - Mike begs you to tell him the truth about what happened three years ago.

Part Seven: Sharing - Mike and Joe have a conversation.

Part Eight: Buried - Mike discovers that McGrath’s misdeeds go far futher than he thought.

Part Nine: Complicated - Mike discusses moving forward.

Part 10: Feral - Mike returns to the apartment to find you’ve disappeared.

Part Eleven: Torture - You wake up in the basement.

Part Twelve: Fire - You and Joe discuss moving forward.

Part Thirteen: Lost Time - You and Mike get real on his porch.

Part Fourteen: Plan B - Mike always has a plan B.

Part Fifteen: Proud - Mike tells you how proud he is of what you’re doing.

Part Sixteen: Mattituck (NSFW) - You show Mike how much you love him.

Part Seventeen: Seven - Joe makes a discovery.

Part Eighteen: Patterns - Benson and Murphy discover the reality of McGrath’s misdeeds.

It’s done.

The case has been handed over to Carisi and the indictment comes down tomorrow. All of the work they’ve undertaken over the past few months finally comes to fruition. There’s no more subterfuge or embargoes there’s just the reality of the situation laid out on a whiteboard in the incident room they’ve been working out of since this whole thing started.  

Joe stands before it with his arms crossed over his chest, his gaze studying each picture of the victims. There are eight of them including you.

You’d assumed you were just another victim in the long line of women that McGrath had assaulted but you weren’t, you were the catalyst, you were Victim Zero.

Yours was the crime that McGrath emulated over and over again, perfecting his technique because he hadn’t managed to succeed the first time.

Joe’s eyes come to rest upon McGrath’s final victim.

Number Eight: Detective Cass Matthews.

She’d committed suicide by overdosing in a motel in Bronx last month, because she hadn’t wanted her sister to find the body. Laura had come forward not long after Cass’s death, submitting a complaint because Cass had told her she was being repeatedly assaulted by one of her superiors, she just hadn’t said which one.

The thing is straight after the first attack, the one where McGrath had injured Cass so badly, she’d had to tell her Captain she was mugged, she had gone to the hospital. She’d had a rape kit completed, there were photographs of her injuries. She hadn’t wanted to press charges, so Bronx SVU had let it slip through the cracks.

Cass’s sister had given Joe permission to run the kit. He wasn’t surprised when the results came back to McGrath. He hadn’t bothered using protection, he’d had a vasectomy years ago, Joe remembers him complaining about it after he’d knocked his wife up for the third time.

Joe doesn’t say anything when Murphy enters the room. He’s too busy thinking about all the lives that have been destroyed by his former mentor, how McGrath had sat there and told him it was all consensual, that each and every woman had wanted him. He’d seen the pictures of what he’d done to Cass that night, the bruising on her arms and legs, her throat, her mouth. He knows what violence looks like.

“I’ve called Duarte, let them know the indictment’s coming down tomorrow.” Murphy informs Joe, his hands coming to rest on either side of him as he leans back against the desk.

“I guess we won’t be the only ones losing sleep tonight.” Joe says quietly as he tilts his head towards Murphy. “What they went through… What they’re going to go through…”

Joe shakes his head because it isn’t right. You shouldn’t have to be raked over the coals by McGrath’s lawyer, you shouldn’t have to relive the most traumatic moments of your life in front of an entire courtroom because the bastard refuses to admit what he’s done.

“It’s a means to an end.” Murphy says knowingly. “It’s shitty and-”

He’s cut off by the sound of a gunshot. It erupts through the building with a loud retort, the boom echoing through the quiet corridors. Murphy’s already in motion, his hand on his own weapon as he rushes out of the door.

Joe doesn’t bother to follow.

There’s a heaviness in him because he knows where the gunshot came from, what Murphy will find when he steps inside McGrath’s office. He doesn’t want to see that, the brains of his previous mentor splattered across his desk. There’s a bitterness in his mouth because yet again McGrath has escaped justice and Joe just can’t stomach it.

It’s a couple of hours later that he picks up the phone, he watches McGrath’s body being wheeled out in a black bag as his thumb hovers over Duarte’s number.

It rings three times before Duarte picks up.

“Velasco,” He says, his voice rough from sleep. “I take it you have bad news.”

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Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

[bi-bard]

Usefulness - Sonny Carisi Imagine (Law & Order: S.V.U)

Title: Usefulness

Pairing: Dominick "Sonny" Carisi X Reader

Word Count: 1,135 words

Warning(s): discussion of people-pleasing tendencies

Summary: Sonny's interference in an interrogation that (Y/n) was leading ends in a serious discussion about what the true intention behind his actions were.

Author's Note: Carisi is a people-pleaser, tell me I'm wrong.

--------------------------

It all started with an event during an interrogation.

The interrogation itself was going fine. The guy was confrontational, but that wasn't anything new. I felt confident, comfortable. No matter what the guy was saying, I had control over the room. It was good.

Then, he made some off-hand, disrespectful comment.

I didn't get a chance to respond before the door into Liv's office opened.

"That's enough."

I looked at Sonny, who was now leaning through the doorway. In the hopes of making it look like we were on the same page, I stood up, following him out.

"You had no right to do that," I muttered once the door shut.

"We were getting nowhere with him."

"Yes, we were, that's why he was getting personal," I replied. "And then, you pulled me out. We are back at square one."

"I was trying to stand up for you."

"I know, I know," I nodded. "But... this is my job, Sonny. You can't do that kind of thing just because a suspect pokes fun at me."

"I was keeping you safe."

I didn't have a chance to talk back before Sonny walked out of the office. I just took a deep breath before turning to face Liv.

"I can't go back in, can I," I asked. "Guy wouldn't hold any respect for me. All progress... gone."

"Sonny means well," she replied.

"I know, I know. I just... I feel like there's something more going on."

She nodded.

I didn't get a chance to talk about it with him until we got home.

When I walked in, Sonny was already home. At least he seemed to have more straightforward hours than I did. He had changed and was sitting at the table, hunched over the next case he was working on.

"Hey," I said.

He stood up as soon as I spoke. "Hey."

I grinned at him as he walked over and pressed a kiss to my forehead.

"How was your day," he asked.

"Funny that you ask," I replied. "I was gonna ask to talk about what happened today?"

"The interrogation thing?"

I nodded.

He let out a sigh.

"Sonny, I know that you meant well, but you can't do that," I explained. "It undermines my authority in the room, sets back progress, and it looks like the A.D.A is trying to steer the case, which is not your job."

He looked down.

I bit my lip and crossed my arms over my chest.

"I was just trying to help," he mumbled after a minute of silence.

"And I appreciate that, I do," I said, stepping forward. "I... I just want to understand why you felt the need to do that."

"What?"

"You're protective," I explained. "And I adore that. I think it's great. However, there are times when it's almost like you're overstepping. And I don't think you're aware of the fact that you're doing it."

His eyebrows furrowed. "So... you think it's great, but it's upsetting you."

"Sonny," I sighed. "I think you're protective and helpful streak is honorable. It's sweet and it shows that you care and it's one of the things I first noticed about you when I started getting feelings for you. However, when you storm into the interrogation room because a suspect is getting a little too aggressive or rude, it's overstepping."

Sonny looked down.

"I was trained to handle those situations, just like you were. I know when to step out. And when you interfere like that, no matter the intentions, it's not going to look good."

He didn't speak up.

"Why did you do it? Honestly."

He sighed, closing his eyes for a moment. When he looked up again, he still didn't meet my eyes. His gaze was still shifting around the room.

"I... I'm supposed to take care of you," he admitted. "We're... We're a couple. I am meant to take care of you. Protect you. It's... It's my job now."

I almost wanted to cry.

He scoffed like he was trying to convince me- maybe both of us- that it was a joke. "I mean, you're not gonna keep someone around that you can't trust to protect you and help you. That's not useful."

The last sentence left me stunned for a moment. He truly thought that the reason I was with him was because of how useful he was.

My hesitance made him want to backtrack. "Y'know what, I shouldn't have said anything about this. It's not your job to worry-"

"Sonny, Sonny," I touched his upper arms as he tried to wave the whole thing off. "Hey..."

He finally looked at me, a clear frown on his face.

I stepped forward, leaning in to peck his lips. "You don't need to fix me or save me in order to convince me that you care. I love you. No conditions attached. I promise you that."

His face softened a bit. "You love me?"

I paused for a moment. I hadn't said that out loud before. I had thought it for years- even before we started dating- but saying it... that was a new monster.

"Yeah," I nodded. "You have nothing to prove, Sonny. You never did. I don't need you to hold me together."

His smile could've melted my heart.

"What I want," I continued, "is for my very handsome, very tired partner to lie down with me. If that's what he wants."

Sonny slowly nodded.

I stepped back, taking his hand and leading him out of the living room. I was stopped in the doorway by Sonny. I chuckled as he pressed his lips to mine. My back hit the doorframe, digging into my spine as his hands cupped the sides of my face.

"Sonny," I placed my hand on his chest, pushing him back enough to speak. "Lie down with me. Nothing else. Not tonight."

He nodded again.

I pecked his lips again.

Sonny didn't speak up until we had both curled up under my covers.

"I love you too."

It was so quiet. Whispered as one arm wrapped around my shoulders to hold me closer and his other hand cupped the side of my face. His thumb ran along my cheekbone.

My eyes already felt heavy as I hummed back to him. He made me feel so safe. It was just so easy to fall asleep with my head resting against him.

"And you said I was tired."

"Stop being such a teddy bear then," I grumbled.

"Oh, never," he mumbled. "Wouldn't get to hold you as tight as I want if I did that."

"You can hold me as tight as you want, Carisi."

I had to bite back my smile a bit as I felt his arms tighten around me.

It was about time he focused on what he wanted.

--------------------------

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[thelemontree]

Muscle Memory (Rafael Barba x Reader)

Paring: Rafael Barba x f!Reader

Summary: You hadn't seen Rafael in nearly three years. When he left—and shattered your heart in the process—you didn't think you'd ever recover. But now, just as you finally starting to feel like you might be okay, he waltzes right back into the SVU precinct, into your life, and fucks everything up.

Word count: 5.3k

Warnings: angst with a happy ending, explicit language, canon typical rape mention (off-screen, no details), breakups + makeups, oral sex (f receiving), vaginal fingering, p in v sex, praise + dirty talk, mentions of a sex toy

A/N: Rafael Barba my beloved <3 my first SVU fic after being a long time reader! I love this show and I love Barba. Takes place during the episode "Sightless in a Savage Land." (Rafael Barba + a beard = my untimely death.) I was listening to Muscle Memory by Lights when I got the idea for this, so it's very loosely based on that song. Anyways, enjoy, and be prepared for more SVU fics in the future bc I am deep in that rabbit hole hehe.

The last time you ever saw or spoke to Rafael Barba was nearly three years ago, when he decided to leave both the DA’s office and New York City. And, in turn, you.

He asked you to go with him—begged you, really. Told you he loved you and couldn’t see a life without you. After years of casual flirting and simmering tension, you both realized how badly you wanted—no, needed—each other. At that point, you had been together for almost a year and you were completely, head-over-heels in love with him. You wanted to go with him, but you couldn’t leave your job at SVU and your life behind. As much as it hurt, you told him no. An explosive fight ensued and you both said things you’d later come to regret, but in the moment you were both too hurt to care. He stormed out of your apartment and slammed your front door behind him, leaving you a sobbing mess in your living room.

It took time, a whole lot of effort, and a little bit of booze along the way, but now you felt like you were finally in a good place. You were back to cracking jokes with Carisi, going out for girls' nights with Liv and Amanda, and Kat, the SVU newbie, even got you to consider starting to date again. You still missed Rafael, but the hurt had dulled over time, and you found yourself wanting to move on, once and for all.

All of that came crashing down, though, when you walked into work one morning and came face-to-face with Rafael, exiting Olivia’s office. When you saw each other, you couldn’t help the pained gasp that you let out. Hot tears started to well in your eyes at the soft look he gave you. The whole precinct seemed to come to a standstill—Amanda looked at you from her desk, concern etched on her face; Olivia looked a little guilty; Fin looked like he was waiting for a bomb to go off; and Kat’s eyes moved between you and Rafael, her brows drawn together in confusion before she finally realized what was happening.

Rafael breathed your name out in a pained whisper, and that’s all it took to break you out of your reverie. Before he could say anything else, you squared your shoulders and walked straight past him to your desk. You didn’t say a word to anybody as you got to work, focused solely on not letting yourself cry in front of everybody—especially him. You could feel everyone’s eyes on you and it made you want to scream.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Olivia place a hand on Rafael’s shoulder. She said something to him, her voice too quiet for you to know what it was, and he nodded his head solemnly. He looked over at you for a moment before he went to the elevators. Olivia turned to her squad of detectives, who were all still stunned from the quiet scene that just unfolded. With a small sigh, Olivia clapped her hands together, bringing everyone to attention.

“Back to work, everybody. We’ve got lives to save and people to protect.”

Reluctantly, your fellow detectives turned back to their work, but you could still feel their occasional glances your way. As Olivia walked past your desk to her office, she stopped and put a comforting hand on your shoulder.

“Want to come into my office for a minute, detective?”

You followed Olivia into her office, plopping down on her couch as she closed the door. You sighed, running your hands over your face. The tears were still threatening to fall from your eyes, and you did everything you could to will them back inside your tear ducts.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry. I wasn’t expecting him to show up like that,” Olivia said, her voice apologetic. You looked at her and offered her a tired smile.

“It’s fine, Liv. I just… Was not prepared to see him again, not like this. Everything just came flooding back and hit me all at once,” you replied. “Why was he even here, anyway?”

Olivia sighed and shook her head. “When I heard he was in town, I asked him to meet up for coffee and may have suggested that he talk with Mickey Davis, just to hear his story and see if there was any way he could help him out. I didn’t think he’d take Mickey on as a client.”

You rolled your eyes at that. Rafael taking Mickey on as a client didn’t surprise you in the slightest. You didn’t blame the guy for killing his teenage daughter’s abuser—you probably would have done the same thing if you were in his position. And if you were in Rafael’s position, you would’ve been lined up to defend Mickey, too. But hearing Olivia say she didn’t expect him to take Mickey on did surprise you—she knew Rafael as well as you did and that he couldn’t just walk away from this once she brought him into it.

You weren’t mad at her, though. Just because you and Rafael had a rough break-up didn’t mean everyone else had to cut him out of their lives. You knew Olivia just wanted to help Mickey the best way she could, and you’d be damned if you didn’t agree that Rafael would be his best shot.

“Well, that makes sense, I guess. Can’t say I’m surprised,” you huffed. “At least I wasn’t on that case. Minimizes my interactions with him.”

Olivia chuckled. “Yeah, I guess there’s that bright side.”

You stood from her couch and gave her a small smile. You could tell she had more apologies in her, knowing how hard it must’ve been for you to see him so out-of-the-blue, but you waved her off before she could start. “Don’t worry about me, Liv. I’ll be fine. And I’m not mad. Honestly, if things were different, I probably would’ve gone to Rafael, too.”

You walked out of Olivia’s office and were relieved to find that everyone had returned to work as normal. Amanda looked up at you and gave you a reassuring smile, letting you know she was there for you if needed anything. Over the years, you and her had become two peas in a pod, and you were grateful to have a friend and a partner in her. You sat down at your desk and got to work going through your case files.

Your desk phone rang and you answered it, “Detective L/N, Manhattan Special Victims Unit.”

And now your work for the day has really begun.

***

You were dead on your feet by the time you got home. You and Amanda had picked up a new case—a rape victim found in Central Park—and spent a majority of the day working on that. Neither of you had gotten very far on it, which wasn’t unusual, but you always felt a little defeated when you went home at the end of the day with little to show.

When you stepped into your apartment, all you wanted was to take a hot shower, order take-out, and crash. After putting all your stuff away, you walked into your kitchen and pulled out the take-out menu for your favorite Chinese place. As you scanned the menu and thought about what you were going to order, there was a knock at your door. You looked up and scrunched your eyebrows together—you weren’t expecting company, and none of your friends were the type to just show up to your place unannounced, especially on a weeknight. With a sigh, you set the menu down on your counter and walked over to your front door. You looked through the peephole and took a surprised step back when you saw who was on the other side.

Rafael.

You stood there for a few moments, staring at your front door, too shocked that he was at your apartment to do anything. He knocked again, this time a little more insistently, and said, “I know you’re inside, Y/N. Please open the door.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. When you opened them, you lifted shaky hands to the locks on the door and undid them, slowly pulling it open. Without the hustle and bustle of the police precinct and the surprise of running into him at work, you could stand there and take him in. He looked different—a little bit older, a little bit grayer—but just as handsome as the last time you saw him. There was a pang of sadness in your chest. You were reminded then, standing in your doorway and just staring at each other, how much you still missed him.

“Hi,” he said lamely, breaking the silence. He looked just as nervous as you did, a hesitant smile visible behind his full beard. (You took note of his new feature a little ruefully—you had wanted him to grow out his facial hair, but he always told you, saying beards made him too itchy.) You stood there and stared at him for a second more before replying.

“Hi.”

Before, conversation always flowed so easily between the two of you. You hadn’t realized how much of a chatterbox Rafael was until you started dating, but you found it endearing. You liked hearing him talk about the things he was passionate about. Now, the uncomfortable silence felt so foreign, and it made you fidget.

“I, uh, I don’t know why I came here, to be honest,” Rafael said, clearing his throat. “After seeing you this morning, I just… I don’t know. I wanted to see you again.”

You felt your resolve start to crumble. You’d spent so much time trying to get over him, trying to move on with your life, and just when you felt like you were starting to get somewhere, he shows up out of the blue and wrecks it all. You wanted nothing more than to drag him into your apartment and pretend like the past three years hadn’t happened, that you were back to where you were before you broke each other’s heart.

Rafael must have taken your silence as disinterest rather than being at war with yourself internally. He sighed and shook his head, making to turn around and leave. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have just shown up like this. I’m going to go.”

You felt panic rise up in you at the thought of him leaving again and before you could stop yourself, you said, “Wait! Don’t go. Come inside. Please.”

Rafael looked at you, surprise etched on your face. He hadn’t expected you to invite him in so suddenly, but he wasn’t about to let the opportunity to talk to you slip from his fingers. He nodded and stepped into your apartment. You closed the door and slipped the locks back into place before joining Rafael in the living room.

You cleared your throat and gestured to the couch. “You can, uh, sit down, if you want to.”

“Yeah, okay. Sure. Thanks.”

Rafael took a seat at the end of your couch and you moved to sit on the opposite end of it. Now that he was inside of your apartment, you didn’t know what to do, what to say. You hated how awkward and uncomfortable the air surrounding you two felt.

“I’m sorry,” Rafael blurted out after another few minutes of silence. He turned on the couch to face you, his eyes filled with tears and his face pulled into a grimace. “I’m so fucking sorry, Y/N. I shouldn’t have left you the way that I did. I shouldn’t have stormed out of here and took off without another word. I was an idiot—such a fucking idiot—and I’m so sorry for hurting you. You were the best thing that ever happened to me, and I fucked it all up.”

You scooted closer to him on the couch, taking one of his trembling hands in yours. The tears you had successfully kept at bay all day had started to fall, and you tried to steady your breathing to avoid breaking out into a full on sob. You looked up at him and broke when you saw his tears falling, too.

“Rafael,” your voice broke and you could barely get another word out. Looking back on the fight that ended your relationship, you knew you were both to blame for it. You were both cruel to each other, saying things you didn’t mean but knew would cut the other deeply. You called him selfish and accused him of not truly loving you if he expected you to give up your career just because he gave up his. He said the only thing you were capable of loving was your job and that you were his biggest mistake. It was messy and awful and you wished that you could take that night back.

He lifted his other hand to push your hair behind your ear and cup your cheek. “I still love you, Y/N. I never stopped.”

You couldn’t find the words to express what you were feeling. Instead of trying to articulate everything going on in your brain, you leaned forward and kissed him. You figured that if your words were going to fail you, you could just show him.

Rafael was surprised at the first brush of your lips against his, but he quickly warmed up. He kissed you back with equal fervor, tracing his tongue against your bottom lip. You moaned quietly into his mouth when you opened up and felt the first touch of his tongue against yours. His hand slid into your hair, pulling you even closer against him. You pushed him into the back of the couch and moved to straddle his lap, not once breaking the kiss.

The hand that wasn’t tangled in your hair ghosted up your front, his fingers lightly tracing your skin over your shirt. He took one of your breasts in his hand and squeezed it, grinning into the kiss at the sound of your resulting groan. He wrapped his arm around you, planting his hand in between your shoulder blades so he could pull you flush against him. There was virtually no space between the two of you anymore, and you couldn’t shake just how right it felt to be back in his embrace.

When you finally pulled away to catch your breath, you leaned your forehead against his, your eyes still closed. You breathed in each other’s air, both panting heavily. When you finally opened your eyes, you saw Rafael staring up at you, his eyes a mixture of tenderness and wonder.

“Bedroom?” you asked him shakily. He nodded his agreement, and you reluctantly pulled yourself off of him. When he stood from the couch, he took your hand in his, pulling it up to his lips. He kissed each of your knuckles, looking at you through his lashes the whole time. The moment was both incredibly intimate and arousing. Your heart was practically beating out of your chest, your breaths were coming in short pants, and you were uncomfortably wet. He still knew how to get you riled up.

“Lead the way, cariño.”

You pulled him into your bedroom and once the door was shut behind you, you pulled him into another kiss. It was hot and desperate, all teeth and tongues. He gripped your hips tight enough that you know there’d be fingertip-shaped bruises in the morning. The thought sent a shiver through your body. He remembered how much you liked finding his marks on your body.

The next thing you knew, Rafael was gripping you even tighter as he lifted you up. You wrapped your legs around his waist as he turned and took the few steps over to your bed. He laid you down gently, settling himself in between your thighs. He ground down into you, and you could feel his hard cock through his slacks, and you broke away to whimper.

Rafael took the opportunity to start peppering kisses over your cheek and jawline. He moved down to your throat, sucking and nipping at the base of it. You gasped at the sensation, your hips bucking up against his, and he groaned against your skin. Even though it’d been years since he last touched you like this, he still knew all the things you liked and all the ways he could unravel you underneath him.

He unbuttoned your shirt, trying to restrain himself from just ripping the damn thing off of you. Once it was gone, he sat up so he could rid himself of his own button-up and undershirt. While he took off his top two layers, you arched your back to reach behind you and unhook your bra, tossing it to the floor. He let out an appreciative groan at the sight of you.

“So fucking beautiful,” he said, his voice hoarse. You leaned down to kiss you again before moving his mouth down to your breasts. He took your left nipple in his mouth, swirling his tongue around it while one of his hands tweaked your other nipple. He laid there for some time, lavishing your tits with attention, moving his mouth from one nipple to the other, his fingers following, while you squirmed and whined underneath him. The scratch of his beard against your skin burned in the best way possible, and you wanted nothing more than to feel it in between your legs.

Rafael must’ve read your mind, because he started to kiss down your stomach, occasionally sucking and biting at the soft skin there. He sat back on his heels to undo the button and pull down the zipper of your pants. You lifted your hips off of the mattress to help him pull them off of you. Once your jeans were gone, Rafael’s head was between your legs, nipping and sucking at the flesh of your thighs. You whimpered at the feeling of his beard scratching your sensitive skin and could feel him smirk against you as squirmed and tried to get closer to his face.

Ghosting his lips over your clothed pussy, he reached up and hooked his thumbs into your panties, slowly pulling them off of you. You could feel his breath against your slick folds and it made you shiver. Rafael looked up at you—his pupils blown wide, lips red and kiss swollen.

“It’s been too long since I’ve had my tongue in this pretty pussy” Rafael said, one of his thumbs running up your slit lightly, stopping just short of your clit. You gasped at the sensation. “Can I taste you, sweet girl? Please, let me taste you.”

“God, Rafa, yes,” you answered, nodding your head enthusiastically. Without missing a beat, Rafael ducked his head, flattening his tongue against you and licking a broad line up your pussy. You let out a broken moan, your hips bucking up, trying to chase his tongue, but he gripped your hips and pressed you down into the bed.

He moved to your clit, sucking it into his mouth as he brought one hand down to tease his fingers through your folds. Slowly, he pushed one finger inside of you and began pumping it in and out languidly. You gasped, throwing your head back into your pillows as your hands sought purchase in his hair. You tugged on the short strands, pulling his face closer to you. He groaned into your pussy, the sound reverberating through your body. He pulled off of your clit with a lewd pop, slipping another finger inside of you. He leaned his cheek against the inside of your thigh, his breath coming out in short pants.

“You feel so good wrapped around my fingers, baby. So tight and wet.” He started to speed up, crooking his fingers and finding your sweet spot right away. “I missed you so much, Y/N. I thought about you, about this, about being back in your arms, every day.”

His words and his fingers were too much. The coil in your belly started to tighten and you were gasping for breath. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t think—all you could do was let out tiny, broken moans and focus on how good Rafael was making you feel.

“You’re close, cariño, I can feel it. Can feel the way your pussy is tightening up. Come for me, Y/N. Come for me, let me feel it, let me see it.”

He took your clit into his mouth and sucked hard at the same time he hit your sweet spot again, and you were done for. You came with a gasp that turned into a long, drawn-out moan as your pussy spasmed around Rafael’s fingers.

Rafael worked you through your orgasm with his fingers, whispering praises into the skin of your thighs. “That’s it, baby, that’s it. Good girl. Such a good girl for me.”

When you finally came down and your breathing evened out, you slowly blinked open your eyes. You looked down to find Rafael staring up at you, his gaze a bit softer than before. His fingers were still inside of you, and as your eyes met his, he slowly pulled them out, smirking at the soft whimper you let out at the slow drag of his fingers.

Rafael kissed his way up the length of your body until he captured your lips with his. He kissed you slowly, taking his time to explore your mouth with his tongue. You wrapped your arms around his back and your legs around his waist, angling your hips upward to brush your bare pussy against his cock, hard and still trapped beneath his slacks. He pulled away from your mouth to hiss at the slight friction. You did it again, smirking as he dropped his face to the crook of your neck and groaned. He nipped at your pulse point, just hard enough to leave a mark that’d last for the rest of the night but be gone before you had to go to work in the morning.

“Rafa,” you breathed out, still softly grinding up against him. “Take your pants off. Want you to fuck me.”

He nodded, his face still buried in your neck and the feeling of his beard against your skin making you shiver. He pulled away and stood from the bed, eyes never leaving yours as he removed his pants and boxer briefs, leaving him bare before you. You took your bottom lip in between your teeth as you openly ogled him. Your pussy clenched at the sight of his cock, just as beautiful as you remembered it. He wasn’t overly long, about average length, but he was on the thicker side and filled you perfectly. When you finally dragged your eyes up back to Rafael’s face, he was looking at you with a smug smirk.

“Like what you see, cariño?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at you.

“Always.”

Rafael opened the drawer of your bedside table to pull out a condom. He didn’t even ask if you’d moved them, moving on muscle memory. You knew he’d find them, though, because you hadn’t moved them since the last time he pulled one out. There was a new addition to your bedside drawer, though: a purple rabbit vibrator that you bought while drunk, sad, and horny. It was one of your best purchases of the last three years. Before grabbing a condom, Rafael pulled the vibrator out and inspected it with a smirk.

“Hmm, you’ll have to give me a demonstration of how this works one of these days.” Your heart fluttered at the idea of whatever you two had going on right now not being a one-time thing.

He set the vibrator back down in the drawer and pulled out a condom. He joined you back on the bed, giving his cock a couple of strokes before tearing open the little foil packet and rolling the condom onto himself. He leaned down to kiss you, putting some of his weight onto you and pressing you into the mattress. Feeling him on top of you like that was always one of your favorite things.

Rafael pulled away and smiled at you as he grabbed his cock in one hand and guided himself to your entrance. He teased you a little, barely pushing the tip in. He liked watching you squirm underneath him.

“Please, Rafa,” you whined, trying to get him to push into you more. “Please don’t tease me.”

“Shh, cariño,” he soothed, his other hand coming up to stroke the side of your face. You nuzzled your cheek into his hand, turning slightly to press kisses to his palm. “I’ll take care of you, don’t worry. Just be patient.”

Finally, Rafael started to push his cock into you more. He went slowly, relishing the feeling of your walls being wrapped around him again. You both groaned at the feeling. It didn’t just feel good—it felt right. Like you two were missing puzzle pieces, finally locked together. You knew then that you never wanted to let him go again.

When Rafael bottomed out, he crushed his forehead against yours, his eyes scrunched shut. He was breathing heavily, and as much as you wanted him to move, you knew he was trying to hold back. He wasn’t going to last long, but that was okay—neither were you.

“How long?” you asked breathlessly. He sat up a bit, blinking his eyes open. He looked at you, confusion etched on his face.

“Huh?”

You rolled your hips a little and gasped, hoping he got the message. He groaned, dropping onto one of his forearms as his hand gave out. He was panting into your ear, trying to gain a little bit of composure.

“Not since,” he panted, giving his hips an experimental thrust that had you both moaning. “Not since the last time I was with you.”

“Me neither, Rafael. Me neither. I couldn’t do it, not with anybody but you,” you said, grasping his face in your hands and pulling him down to kiss you. He moaned into your mouth, not really trying to kiss you back, but wanting to feel your mouth on his.

Finally, he started to move. At first, his pace was slow—he took his time pulling nearly all the way out before thrusting back in. He liked watching your face when he did this, how your eyebrows would scrunch together and your mouth would fall open in small moans. But soon enough, his resolve began to crack, and he started to pound into you harder, punching the breath from your gut. You ran your fingers through his hair at the back of his head, holding onto dear life.

“Yes, Rafa, just like that,” you moaned, trying to roll your hips to meet his thrusts. “Don’t stop.”

Rafael grunted in response. He dipped his head down to your neck, placing open-mouthed kisses all over your skin. One of his hands snaked down between your bodies, finding your clit with his thumb and rubbing it in small, tight circles. You let out a cry at the sensation, the coil in your belly beginning to wind once again.

“I’m so close, Y/N,” Rafael said into your neck. “Want to feel you come on cock. I need it, baby. Need you to come for me.”

You nodded your head, unable to form any words. There was too much happening—the feeling of Rafael’s cock dragging along your walls, his thumb on your clit, the dirty words he was whispering in your ear.

“Come on, Y/N, I know you’re close. Be a good girl and come on my cock, cariño.”

When one particularly hard thrust had him hitting you just right, you couldn’t hold it back any longer. You came with a loud, broken moan, your back arching off the bed as you nearly ripped Rafael’s hair out. Your pussy clenched Rafael’s cock in a vice as he kept fucking into you, chasing his own orgasm. After two, three more thrusts, he let out a deep, low groan as he came. His hips slowed as he worked you both through your highs.

When you came down, your legs were shaking and you could barely open your eyes. Rafael kissed his way up your neck and across the side of your face until he could capture your lips between his. It was slow and sweet, and you whined as he pulled away. Carefully, Rafael pulled his softening cock out of your pussy, making him hiss and you whimper at the feeling of being empty. Your eyes were still closed, so you didn’t see him get up from the bed and stand on wobbly legs.

You had started to doze off when you felt the cool washcloth start cleaning up in between your legs. It made you jerk awake, your eyes shooting open. Rafael was silent as he cleaned you up and you watched him work. Once he was done, he got up to put the cloth into your hamper and started to pick up his clothes.

Frowning at him, you asked, “what are you doing?”

He looked up at you, a bit of a solemn expression on his face. He looked like he was about to cry. “I was just, uh, getting my clothes together. I don’t know if you want me to stay, and I don’t want to be presumptuous.”

You sighed and used the rest of your energy to sit up. “Come sit with me,” you said softly.

Rafael set his clothes back down on the floor as he sat down next to you on the bed. His hands were fidgeting in his lap and he stared at them. You placed one of your hands on both of his and he looked up at you, eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

“Rafael, I still love you too, you know. I never stopped. When you left…” you huffed out a sigh and a dry chuckle. “I was in hell. I didn’t think I was ever gonna get over you. I never really did, if I’m being honest. Recently I thought I was in more of a better place, but I still missed you. I still wished that I was yours and you were mine. Not going with you has been one of my biggest regrets.”

You thought that hearing how much you still loved him would’ve made Rafael feel better, but you weren’t anticipating the opposite reaction. You didn’t think it was possible for his face to fall even more than it already had.

“Please don’t say that, Y/N. I shouldn’t have asked you to come with me. I shouldn’t have put you in that position. I knew how much you loved your job—how much you still do—and I shouldn’t have asked you to give that all up for me. I don’t want you to regret not coming with me, because I regret not staying here and rebuilding my life with you.”

You leaned into Rafael for a kiss, leaning your forehead against his when you pulled away. The two of you sat like that for a while, content to just be near each other. You had missed this more than anything—just being able to be with him.

“How long are you in New York for?” you asked as you pulled away. Rafael sighed and lifted one of his arms to put around your shoulders. You cuddled into his side, wrapping your arm around him and resting your head on his chest.

“For good. I took a job with the Innocence Project in their New York offices.”

You sat back up to look at him, scanning his face for any indication that he was lying. He wasn’t. Your heart felt like it was going to burst from your chest.

“Are you serious? You’re back for good?”

He nodded, a soft smile on his face. “I am, cariño. And I promise you, I’m not going anywhere this time.”

You knew you both still had a lot to work out and things to settle from the last time you saw each other, but in that moment none of that mattered to you. All you cared about was that the love of your life was back home, back with you, and you felt whole again.

[shedaresthedevil]

Stardust, In You and In Me

Pairing; Matt MurdockX ReaderOC (nonbinary reader, uses she/they pronouns)

Warnings; Ahem, TWO IDIOTS PINING AFTER EACH OTHER. Afab!reader, Hurt/comfort, heavy angst, poorly timed blind jokes. FLUFF.

Y'all know the drill; if you see a mistake- no you didn't.

Based on this Ask combination from @freshabogados ; this ones for you babes.

*A quick guide for this fic. Anything in blue and italicized is dialogue from the movie. Anything in blue and in standard font is being spoken along with the dialogue.*

@matt-erialgirl @loki-silver-tongued-god @e-dubbc11 @lexlovescoffee @pleasedin @candyello @carisi-sonny

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The fall breeze swept softly over you as you leaned your head back, sighing as your eyes closed. Matt had agreed to come out to your other property after quite a bit of convincing. The pair of you sat on the carved plane on the east side of the hill. The barn that layatop it cast a shadow that narrowly covered him and entirely evaded you.  You had gathered up components from your fridge to create a makeshift charcuterie board as you and Matt looked down into the pastures, watching the horses graze and play with each other.  

Matt had been extremely hesitant to meet your horses, even though he adored how passionate you were for the misfit ones you had taken in. You had only made a point to introduce Matt to your four personal equine companions. Upon meeting Tristan, Matt had taken an entire step back. 

“He’s uh..wow. He is really, really big.” He chuckled, tongue sliding out from his nerves.

“He’s only 18.2 hands, Matt.” You had replied, scratching the large black horse’s forehead as he licked at your hand.

Matt had given you one of his signature head tilts, unsure of what exactly that meant. You often forgot that most people did not have an equestrian centered vocabulary.

“From the ground to the top of his shoulders, he’s about six feet tall. That’s what 18.2 means.”

Matt had been floored, eyebrows raising. 

“That doesn’t include his head? That’s insane.”

You had shaken your head and asked for his hand, and Matthew gave it over reluctantly. You had placed it in front of Tristan’s muzzle but did not make contact. You waited for Tristan to come the rest of the way. Matt had felt the breath come from his nostrils and nearly pulled away. He trusted you, and resigned to stand his ground. The giant beast of a horse touched his nose to Matt’s palm, breathing lightly and smoothing his nose against his skin.

“See? He’s just a big baby. All he wants is scratches and treats. Gets that from his mom.” You teased, moving his hand higher to Tristan’s forehead. 

“Something is different about him.” Matt commented, raking through the waves of his mane. He could now picture the horse’s face more clearly. 

“Different how? Different from my other three?”

Matt had nodded, feeling over Tristan’s face to confirm what he had realized.

“He doesn’t have eyes. At all. He’s blind.” He concluded, feeling over the concave flesh where his eyes should have been.

“I told you, we take in horse’s people just throw away. He was born with a condition called moon blindness, so the owners removed them instead of treating it constantly, and then sold him for next to nothing. His breeding is impeccable, but cosmetically he’s ruined to most people. Tristan is worth far more than what Da- we paid for him. He’s worth more than any price tag.”

Matt had not missed the abrupt correction in your sentence but felt it wise to not press the issue. You would talk about it when you were ready. 

“I’d ask if you want to get on him, but you wore your nice pants like I asked you not to.”

You had both laughed and agreed that next time, he would get on with you.

Now you were eating cheese and drinking blood orange soda in the grass with your best friend. 

“Thank you.” Matt said suddenly, pulling you from your sun basking.

“Hmm? For what Matty?” 

You turned to him, shifting on the blanket you had laid down to protect his clothes.

“Sharing this part of you with me. It’s personal to you and… for people like us being vulnerable is difficult.”

You smiled at his words, knowing, with or without heightened hearing, that he was being honest with you.  

“You’re welcome…” your words trailed off as you felt it.

The creak of the aluminum gate was so much sharper than normal as a stable hand closed it behind them. The sun that you had been enjoying only moments before was  far too bright.

“No. Not here, not now.” You pleaded silently, willing it to stop.

Matt heard your pulse increase, almost as if you were panicking. 

“Are you feeling alright?” he asked, brushing the back of his hand against your arm.

You had begun to shake your head and regretted the decision immediately. It felt like someone was pounding on the inside of your skull. Your eyes screwed shut and you inhaled through your teeth. 

“I um… I have a migraine coming on.” You whispered, attempting to stand. You swayed, becoming dizzy as your vision tunneled. You just needed to get to your house on the property before you passed out. 

Matt was up almost instantly, reaching to steady you as you stumbled. You felt his arms encircle you. 

“Let me help you, what do you need?” Matt asked, trying to be even more soft spoken than usual. 

“T-t-t-to ge-et to m-m-my ho-use.” You stuttered out, beginning to shake. 

Matt supported you as you walked toward the ranch house at the edge of the property. The world began to spin violently, and you felt the wave of nausea roll over you.

“S-s-slow d-d-down. I t-t-think I’m going to be s-s-sick.” You murmured, trying desperately to not throw up on the grass. 

You felt Matt’s hand slide down behind your knees, waiting for confirmation before moving you so suddenly.

“Let me carry you. You can close your eyes, so you won’t have to worry about staying upright and I’ll get there faster.”

You shakily agreed, crying out as he lifted you.  Matt apologized, picking up his pace as he made his way to the house. You reached a quivering hand down to punch in the code to unlock the door. Matt nudged the it open with his foot, carefully moving sideways to get the both of you through the entryway. Your tongue felt heavy, and your words slurred slightly as you stuttered the directions to the bathroom for your Excedrin. You took the two Matt gave you with a handful of tap water, uncaring and in too much pain to bother with a glass. You felt cold, so very cold and you were shivering so badly that changing into warmer clothes proved to be a difficult task. 

“Should I call an ambulance? Because we both know I can’t drive.” Matt suggested, just outside your door in case you needed him. You fell into the door frame, using the black painted trim to keep you upright. 

“Easy, easy.” Matt whispered, reaching to steady you again.

“N-n-n-no. They’ll j-just s-s-s-send me h-home.”

You explained to Matt that the last time this had happened to this degree was several years ago, and that the hospital had run dozens of tests and found no reason for it at all. 

“A-a-a-ll t-t-that and the b-b-bullshit b-b-efore it j-j-just t-t-to be to-old to g-g-go h-home.” You grumbled, making your way to the long side of the sectional to sit down. All this stuttering and shaking; you were embarrassed to show any sign of weakness in front of Matt.

“What happened before you went to the E.R?”

“M-my s-s-tupid boyfriend at t-t-the t-time w-w-w-wouldn’t t-t-ake me. I c-called the am-ambulance myself. H-he was t-t-too b-b-busy trying to f-f-fuck me.”

Matt was beyond words for a moment.

“While you were like this? Are you serious?” he asked, appalled.

“I b-begged h-h-him for t-t-two d-days.”

Matt sat down beside you, and you moved closer to him, trying to soak up some of his body heat.

“He let you suffer like this for that long?” 

You saw Matt’s fists clench and then release in irritation.

“T-t-three days t-t-t-total. I t-t-thought I w-was d-dying.”

“What a dick. What’s going on right now, what can I do?” 

Matt’s tone was soft, gentle even. He hated seeing you this way, and knew that you hated him seeing you like this even more.

“B-blankets. I can’t s-seem to g-get w-warm when this h-h-happens.”

Matt stood, going to your bedroom to retrieve every blanket he could get his hands on. He set them down on the back of the couch and began to take off his belt, tie, and button-down shirt.

“w-w-why are y-you und-dressing in m-my living r-room?”  

He had left his white t-shirt that he wore underneath on, to your relief and simultaneous disappointment. You tried to smile, attempting to ease Matt’s concern but could not manage to make any movement without a sharp, blinding pain behind your temples.

“Because you always comment that I’m a furnace, so I intend to put it to good use.” 

Matt arranged the multitude of pillows at the corner of the sectional for his back, sitting down on the couch. The long part of the sectional was wide enough to open his legs and spread out. 

“Come here, sweetheart.”

You did not have the will to even argue; you laid down between Matt’s legs as you had many times when you would read aloud to him with whatever book you had in hand. You curled up against his chest, exerting so much effort into not making noise as you moved that your breathing grew heavier. Matt could taste the salt from the tears in your eyes as he draped the blankets over you.

“You can cry if you need to. I swear I won’t tell a soul.”

“And have y-y-you think that I’m m-m-more of a baby than you p-p-probably already do? I think n-n-not.” You scoffed, lips turning upward for just a moment.

“I don’t think you’re a baby at all. You’re in pain, and it’s okay. You don’t have to be strong all the time, not in front of me.”

Gods, he was so warm, and breathing in the oak and amber scent of him was soothing. The sound of his heart beating against his chest was somehow not loud to you, even in your current state. It was…comforting. You moved your head to face the couch, turning away from the light of the window, and finally let yourself cry. You would not wish this pain on your worst enemy; between the thrashing in your head, the tunnel vision, and the uncontrollable shaking you would rather die than endure it for any length of time. Unfortunately, you did not have a choice in the matter. You were slowly, slowly warming up. Being this close to Matt was a place of solace for you, but very rarely did you allow yourself to be this…intimate with him. You could not let it go too far-Matt was one of the few good things in your life, and you’d be more damned than you already were if you ruined it. The two of you understood each other, this life, your mutual struggles- and that had to be enough.

Matt held you to his chest, running his finger through your hair and shushing you gently as you whimpered when each new wave of pain coursed through your head. Eventually, you had fallen asleep, and Matt had dared not move for the sake of you getting the rest you clearly needed and the fact that your cat, Thor, had taken residence upon you as well. Matt had thought it amusing that you traveled with him depending on which house you stayed at, but it was clear to him now that the cat knew you needed him. You had one hand on top of the feline, and the other lightly grasping Matt’s free hand beneath the covers. He breathed you in and felt more at home than he had in recent months. Soon enough, he drifted off to sleep himself, thinking that this was wonderful, but that it was something he could not have, nor deserved. You were worthy of so much more than he could give you.

A few hours later, Matt felt you shift above him as you awakened. Your shaking had ceased for the most part, a light intermittent tremble had replaced it. Your head still did not feel great, but it was certainly better than what it had been. You were now too hot, and you pulled all the blankets off you, save for the softest one that Matt had placed on you first.

“Feeling better?” Matt mumbled, voice deep with sleep. 

You nodded, rolling over and reaching into your coffee table for a bottle of water for each of you.

“There’s a refrigerated drawer in your coffee table?” Matt mused, cracking the lid and drinking the water down.

“I’m just,” you gasped, downing your own bottle in between words, “full of surprises.”

“I’m glad that your migraine is gone.” Matt said, running his fingers through your hair again.

“Not quite. We’ve downgraded to a normal headache, but I can live with that.”

Matt frowned, his full lips tilting into a full on pout.

“Well that simply won’t do.” He teased, holding you tighter to him. “What can I do to help you feel better?”

Comfortable with each other. That’s all this was.

A smile spread across your face and then faltered.

“What is it?” 

You shook your head, signing simultaneously.

“Nevermind, it was a dumb idea.” You sounded defeated, sad.

“Just tell me, I’m positive it wasn’t dumb.”  Matt encouraged, his crooked half smirk returning.

“I wanted to watch my comfort film but you can’t even actually watch it. That would be two hours  and seven minutes of your time that I would waste.”

“You even know the run time for it? Must be good if you know exactly how long it is.”

“I could probably recite the entire thing from memory if I’m honest. My mom put it on when I was sick in seventh grade one day and I’ve watched it when I’m sad or sick ever since.”

Matt grinned once again, an idea forming in his brain.

“Well, since you’ve seen it so much, why don’t you tell me what’s happening while you watch it?”

“Are you sure that won’t be irritating?”  you whispered, unsure. 

Matt gave you a reassuring squeeze on your shoulder. 

"I promise it won't be. It'll be like you're reading to me, with ambient noise."

You could not hold back the wide smile that formed on your lips. Matt was such a good friend.  

Friend…

You used your phone to turn on the TV and open Netflix. You had no idea where the remote was, and you were comfortable, having no intention of getting up any time soon. You shifted so your back was against Matt's chest and his arms settled around you. Scrolling through Netflix, you found your favorite comfort film.

The opening music of Stardust filled the living room, and Ian McKellen's narration began. 

 “A philosopher once asked, "Are we human because we gaze at the stars, or do we gaze at them because we are human?" Pointless, really..."Do the stars gaze back?" Now, that's a question.”

“I don't need to tell you what is happening yet, the narrator will explain the backstory and set up.” you whispered to Matt, who smiled down at you. 

He continued to smile every time you spoke, whether it was explaining that “Victoria is the girl that Tristan likes, but he deserves better than that.” or that the star had just fallen out of the sky and Tristan had promised to go over the wall and bring it back for her. 

An ethereal song began when the scene transitioned to the star.

“That’s Yvaine, she’s the star. She made this huge crater and is in a very pretty light blue satin dress with blonde hair. She sat up and looks confused, but she sees the necklace the king threw into the sky that knocked her down. She’s reaching for it and she put it on.”

“Wait, Tristan? Yvaine? Like your horses? Is this what you named them after?” Matt mused, adoring the thought.

“Yes, now shh. So Tristan’s Father just gave him a parchment letter from his mother that is trapped over the wall, and inside is a Babylon candle. You light it, and think of where you want to go and it takes you there. That’s important later. ”

“I have a mother. I mean, I have a mother. She could still be alive.”

Matt couldn’t help the twist in his chest at the words. He still didn’t know his own mother, wasn’t sure if he ever would, or even wanted to sometimes.  You felt the grip of his hand on your waist tighten, just for a moment. You reached down and squeezed it back gently. Your mom had been your anchor, and you couldn’t imagine not ever having known her, even though she was gone now.

“He lit it and crashed right into Yvaine. Poor thing, she’s having a rough night. Knocked out of the sky, confused, hurt her ankle, ya know, just star things.” 

Matt chuckled at your description, and then again at Yvaine’s boldness. It reminded him of you.

“And right here, this is where it got hit by a magical, flying moron!”

He heard you give a small giggle at Tristans realization that Yvaine was in fact the star. Then heard the rustling sound of metal as Tristan apologized.

“What just happened?”

“He put the piece of enchanted chain around her wrist that he got from his father.”

The film continued with you occasionally narrating what was happening during scenes with no dialogue, and sometimes even saying the dialogue yourself as it went on. 

“Shining has been suspended until further notice.”

“Yvaine, hold me tight and think of home.”

“If there's one thing I’ve learned in all my years watching earth, it’s that people aren’t what they may seem. There are shop boys, and there are boys who just happen to work in shops for the time being. And trust me, Tristan, you’re no shop boy. You saved my life, thank you.”

Were among Matt’s favorites that you had quoted thus far.

“Oh, he jumped a little bit because she grabbed his hand. They’re in love counselor.”

Captain Shakespeare began his interrogation, and you were practically radiating with delight. 

“He just threw Tristan out of the window of the sky vessel.” you said casually, as though the main character being tossed to his death was unimportant.

Matt did not quite believe you and a few moments later, he was proven right.

“So right now he’s disguising Tristan so he doesn’t look the same. Longer hair, better clothes.  Yvaine just picked out a navy blue dress.”

“Surely it would make you happier just to be yourself. Why fight to be accepted by people you don't actually want to be like?

“Yeah. Why would anyone do that to himself? That sounds familiar. Gods, he’s so dumb. Obviously Yvaine is better than Victoria. Least she treats him like a person.” you grumbled, snuggling down further into the couch.

“She reminds me of you.” Matt said before he could stop himself.

Your eyebrows raised, and you shook your head.

“Nah, I’m not that beautiful. She’s a whole star, she's an ethereal being and I’m just…me.” 

Your answer back was deflective out of reflex. Taking compliments was still hard for you, even after all this time. 

"I disagree." Matt countered, unable to listen to you talk about yourself that way. 

"And how exactly would you know, Mr. Justice is blind and so am i?" 

You tilted your head upward to look at him, smirking at your own wit. Matt was staring back down at you in his own way, glasses gone and set aside on the couch. 

"I know that your nose scrunches up when you're annoyed.And that your mouth twists back and forth when something is bothering you and you think too hard about it. You have this glint in your eyes when you're determined. I can't see it, but I can feel it. I know that you are fiercely loyal to the people you care about. And that is more divine than any star. That's an entire universe of beauty."  

You felt a light heat spread across your face.

"I see why you win your court cases, Matt. You just bewitch the jury with your words."

He laughed, rubbing the back of your hand with his thumb. 

"No, I just tell the truth."

You shook your head once more, turning back to the movie. 

"They just spent the week learning to dance and sword fight. They're about to drop Tristan and Yvaine off on land. Captain Shakespeare just whispered something in Tristan's ear."

"What did he say? I didn't hear it."

"You're not supposed to. No spoilers Matt. Now they're walking…and now he's on top of her in a bush to hide her."

"Really now?" Matt whispered, brow raising.

"Aren't you tempted?" 

For a moment, Matt thought you were talking to him. But he was indeed. Having you this near was dangerous, but he would not dare take advantage of that. That's not what you wanted, not what you needed. You needed a friend-someone who understood you. That was all this could be, and that would have to suffice.

"Tempted? By what?"

 "Immortality. Let's say it wasn't my heart. Not me. Just a star you didn't know."

"You seriously think I could kill anybody? Even if I could, I mean, everlasting life? I imagine it would be kind of lonely. Well, maybe if you had someone to share it with. Someone you loved. Then it might be different."

“Speaking of people being reminiscent of other people, the actor that plays Tristan kind of looks like you. Not exactly like you, but maybe you when you were younger? A college era Matt if you will.”

Matt tsked his tongue against his teeth. 

“I don’t see it.”

He swore he could feel your eyes roll as you groaned at the joke. 

“You don't say? That’s three bad blind jokes between us in less than twelve hours. New record I think. You would know if I’m lying, so why don't you just take my word for it, Matt?” you replied, turning your head upward once again.

“While that sounds enticing, truly, I think I need more evidence to be convinced. Could you describe him for me?”

You turned your body completely to face him, your face hovering above his own,  burying your hand in his hair. It took every ounce of will Matt had to not let his head fall back and moan aloud. 

“You have the same colored fluffy hair. It's a warm brown with an auburn undertone.” you began moving down his face.

“Fluffy? I don’t know if I would describe it as fluffy.” he protested lightly, grinning wide.

“Good thing it's not your description that you asked for then. He gets these charming little crinkles next to his eyes just like you do when you smile, like right now. And the dimple that surfaces when you smile as well.”

“lAnything else?”

“He has these kind brown eyes, much like yours. His jawline is not as strong as yours, but that’s why I said perhaps college age you. I would love to see a picture of that by the way.”

He reveled in your touch, and prayed you would never stop. It felt right, it felt like home, even though he knew that it was something that could never happen. This was as far as anything between you two ever went; only light touches of reassurance or description.  You confided in each other and felt safe in each other’s spaces.  

“You would have to ask Foggy to dig them up. Is… that all?” Matt’s words faded as he felt your thumb brush across the lower line of his bottom lip.

“You have the same mouth shape as well.”

You were so close to him and the thought that all it would take was mere centimeters more for the two of you to make contact crossed your minds. 

You swallowed quickly, recapping what you had both missed of the film. You settled back down between his thighs once again, but ventured to place your hand on the side of Matt’s neck, as he often did to you. It was a strange, but comforting habit; it seemed to ground you both to feel each other's pulse, to convince you both that you were here, you were alive, and that this was real. You felt his hand rest upon yours too, and smiled at the reciprocation.

“Tristan just got turned into a mouse by the witch who cannot see Yvaine. Their trip has been expedited and now it won't take two days to get back to Wall.”

Your favorite monologue was coming, and Matt heard your heart rate increase. He was about to ask what was happening when you began to recite it alongside Yvaine.

“You know when I said I knew little about love? That wasn't true. I know a lot about love. I've seen it, centuries and centuries of it, and it was the only thing that made watching your world bearable. All those wars. Pain, lies, hate... It made me want to turn away and never look down again. But to see the way that mankind loves...  I mean, you could search to the furthest reaches of the universe and never find anything more beautiful.”

Matt listened intently on the sound of your voice, not daring to interrupt you.

 “So yes, I know that love is unconditional. But I also know that it can be unpredictable, unexpected, uncontrollable, unbearable and strangely easy to mistake for loathing, and... What I'm trying to say, Tristan is... I think I love you. My heart... It feels like my chest can barely contain it. Like it doesn't belong to me any more. It belongs to you. And if you wanted it, I'd wish for nothing in exchange - no gifts. No goods. No demonstrations of devotion. Nothing but knowing you loved me too. Just your heart, in exchange for mine.”

You shifted once again, looking back up at Matt, only to find that his head was tilted downward and he was already facing you.

“You really love this movie, huh?” 

You nodded in response, turning back to the screen.

“ I have a stardust tattoo in my mom's handwriting, too. Now they’re at an inn, Tristan is no longer a mouse and Yvaine is taking a bath. ”

“Did you really mean what you said in the caravan?”

“What I...? But... You were a mouse! You were a mouse... you wanted cheese! You didn't... I asked you to give me a sign!”

“And risk you being too embarrassed to keep saying such lovely things?”

“He just kissed her forehead.”

“You want to know what the Captain really whispered to me that day?

“She started glowing.”

"He told me that my true love...was right in front of my eyes. And he was right.”

“Oh, that’s what he said to him. I figured it was something like that.”

“Told you it was important later. ”

Matt heard the distinct sound of a knife.

“What happened?”

“He cut a lock of her hair and is going to take it to Victoria. He is a man of his word so he has to bring her something.”

Matt listened to Tristan convey a message to the innkeeper to give to Yvaine and immediately tilted his head.

“I have a feeling that isn’t going to translate the same to her when she wakes up.”

“That is an understatement. Now she’s walking towards Wall and she’s sad because she thinks he doesn’t love her, and that it was a lie.”

Tristan made it to Victoria’s home, and she met him at the door.

“He’s dipped her down, and is very close to her face and….”

“You want to grow up and get over yourself.” 

“He dropped her. And now Humphrey is here. Tristan has brandished his sword and Humphrey backed down. Victoria has opened the piece of cloth Tristan wrapped Yvaine’s hair in and it's turned to dust.”

“She can’t cross the wall.”

“Like the witches said earlier.” Matt remembered.

“Exactly, now Tristan is running as fast as he can and then the montage of Septimus, Lamia, and Tristan’s mom trying to stop Yvaine from crossing the wall starts. Tristan’s Mom got there first. Now Lamia has Yvaine and his mother.”

“You mean to tell me that Tristan didn’t run fast enough? I don’t like that outcome.”

“Yeah, I didn’t either the first time I watched it.” You agreed, mind wandering to the one and only time you needed to run like that. The time that you were not fast enough.

“Tristan stole the caravan horse and is now hauling ass to the witches castle. Septimus is there. They go in to fight and it doesn't go well. Septimus almost killed his mother, who, surprise, is their lost sister Una, which makes Septimus his uncle. Septimus is killed fairly quickly and Tristan has to fight the reanimated corpse of him and her sisters to get to Yvaine after some encouragement from his mom. ”

“That sounds so fun.”

“Tristan's sword is shaking in his hand, and I can’t really blame him. Lamia is terrifying. But that’s what courage is, I guess. It's being afraid and doing it anyway. You wouldn’t know anything about that, would you? You’re not scared of anything Matt. ”

“I’m scared of a lot of things, actually.”

“Oh, yeah? Like what?”

“The people that I love getting hurt. Losing this city to Fisk. Large horses, apparently.”

Matt heard Lamia tell the lovers to go, and then heard laughter and glass shattering. 

“Oh, She lied? Shocking.”

“Yvaine’s going to save them both.”

“How?”

“Just listen.”

“Hold me tight and close your eyes.”

“What? Why?”

“What do stars do?”

“Shine.” You breathed in unison.

“You came back.”

“Of course I came back, I love you.”

“Oh, now the ruby has returned to red because Tristan is the last surviving male heir of stormhold.”

“That’s convenient.” Matt concluded, nodding his head.

“Now they’re all together again, and his mom has just given them a Babylon candle.”

The voice of Ian Mckellen began again; 

“But no man can live forever, except he who possesses the heart of a star.”

“So they both became stars at the end?”

“Mhmm. This movie is why I love space, and stars and fantasy. And also why I took sword fighting classes.” you admitted.

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me. "

"Yeah just tally it up with the rest of the nerdy things that I do. Sword fighting is how I got into participating at the Renn Faire. I've got two swords, two practice swords, and a couple of lightsabers."

"You own physical swords?" He queried. Matt never ceased to be amazes when he learned something new about you. 

You began to move to get up, but Matt's hand touched your hip, and you paused. 

"You can show me tomorrow. Stay." 

You lowered back down, burrowing into the warmth of the blankets and Matt once more. You rested your head against his chest, already tired again from the stress of the migraine.His hands found your hair, stroking and running his fingers through the dark waves. 

"Okay, I'll stay." you whispered, feeling safe with Matt near you. 

You were asleep shortly thereafter, and Matt was not far behind.

[tropes-and-tales-archives]

Rafael Barba:  Watching, Waiting

Word Count:  3625

TW:  Smut (Threesome - Barba and Carisi and Reader; voyeurism; male masturbation, PiV, protected).  18+ only.

AN:  Part two of a two part series:  Part One

The single time you had opened your relationship with Rafael Barba to an outside party – his coworker, Sonny Carisi – was a couple months ago.  While it had been fun, it had also been fairly tame by your experience.  Extremely tame, in fact.  There had been some standard dirty talk between the two men, but that was about where their interaction had ended.

And then a few months passed, and Rafael never brought it up.  

You would have worried that the night together had somehow shifted the tenor of your relationship, but it didn’t:  you and Rafael worked just as well as ever, in the bedroom and out of it.  But he had become close-lipped about his desires suddenly, and you wondered why.

You waited for him to broach the subject, but he never did.  When he mentioned Sonny casually when chatting about work, you tried to nudge the topic of conversation to that night, but Rafael remained stubbornly silent on it.

It wasn’t until one weekend that you finally brought it up.  Rafael was sitting on the couch and reading through a law journal, and you sat beside him, writing up a shopping list for the week.

“I was thinking of making that honey chicken tomorrow for dinner,” you said, and Rafael gave a grunt that either meant “fine” or “sure.”  

“We haven’t had it in a while,” you reasoned in a tone that you hoped sounded casual.  “Not since Sonny was over that time.  A few months ago.”  You kept your eyes trained on the notepad in front of you, and you missed Rafael’s knowing smirk as he glanced at you.

“Are you trying to lead the witness?” he asked.  He tsk-ed at you in disappointment.  “Amateur stuff, counselor.”

You sighed and sat the notepad down, then turned to face him.  When he kept reading his journal, you eased it out of his hands and sat it down too.

“Can we talk about it?” you asked.  “We haven’t talked, and I feel like there’s a wall up now.”  You bit your lip and tried to read the expression on his face, carefully neutral.  

“I’m not sure what there’s to discuss, cariño.”

You watched him for a moment, and he only watched you back.  “Well, did you enjoy it?  Hate it?  Are you sorry we opened up the relationship for a moment?”

He shook his head but then shrugged because you had asked too many questions at once.  “I did enjoy it,” he replied.  “I did not hate it.  I am not sorry we did it.”

“So…”

“So, what?”

You rolled your eyes and took his hand in yours.  “So why do I feel a weird vibe when either of us get close to discussing the subject?”  You noted the way his brow furrowed, and you added, “you can tell me anything, Rafi.  Anything at all.  I would never judge.”

He took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose, and you took his other hand in yours.  He was such a conundrum:  extremely sexual, sensual….but remarkably closed-off sometimes.  You weren’t a psychologist, but you guessed it was his upbringing.  He wasn’t a practicing Catholic by any stretch, but that sort of cultural heritage still affected him.  He wanted to explore more, but that little voice in the back of his head kept telling him that his feelings were sins.

“When I think back to that night,” he began, “I feel like I was disappointing.  Like I disappointed you.  And Sonny.”

“How so?”  You tilted your head, genuinely curious.  You hadn’t been disappointed at all, and you didn’t think Sonny had been either.

Rafael shrugged.  “Because I’m the oldest.  Because I talked a good game but got cold feet at the end.  I feel like you and Sonny had…expectations for what might happen, and I didn’t do any of it.  I just sort of…froze.”

You’d had no expectations for that night, but you understood what Rafael meant.  He was far more comfortable talking to Sonny in the moment, and he barely touched the man aside from a few tentative kisses.  

“And I feel like I ruined it, and now nothing else will ever happen,” he concluded, and you felt a glimmer of hope.  So he did want to explore more after all.

You leaned forward and kissed him gently.  “Rafi, nothing was ruined.  Sonny practically bounded out of here when he left, he was so happy.  I was happy too.  And no one was expecting that single time to be a bang-fest.  Both you and Sonny are novices.  We have to work up to it.”

Rafael’s lips quirked into a smile.  “Bang-fest?  Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.  The most important thing around a threesome is communication.  Maybe we need to be more clear in our discussion beforehand.  So there’s no confusion in the moment or after.”

You didn’t miss the way Rafael’s eyes lit up in hopefulness.  “You’d want to do something again?” he asked.  “With Sonny?”

You nodded.  “And I would bet you my salary that Sonny is up for it again.  How about we discuss what exactly you are comfortable with and go from there?”

He nodded so strongly and eagerly you couldn’t help but laugh, and you spent the rest of the weekend – in bed and out of it – discussing Rafael’s most deeply buried desires.  And, come Monday, you called Sonny to see if you could grab a drink alone with him some night to discuss the same with him.

-----

Like before, the negotiations were endless, but with you running point, it went a little smoother.  Everything was clearer.

This time, though, Rafael was crystal clear about what he wanted.  He had been candid about what he had liked best from the first time together, and how he wanted to ease into more.

“I liked watching you with Sonny,” he had said honestly.  “I want to do that again, but only that.  It might help me…get used to seeing him our bedroom.  Take the pressure off of me that I might have to perform.”

Sonny agreed so eagerly, you didn’t even get the entire sentence out before he said “yes.”

So, as before, you set a date and time that worked for everyone, and you marked the days off in breathless anticipation.

*****

Rafael knew it was the right move the moment Sonny turned up at your door.  Already his anxiety was lower, knowing that he didn’t have to do anything other than watch.  Well, he didn’t have to do anything before, but he still felt that self-imposed anxiety that he had disappointed both of you.

Dinner felt less tense.  The three of you ate and talked and laughed, and Rafael was able to enjoy it.  He wanted to do so much more with both of you, but he needed time to work through his own hang-ups first.  The fact that both of you were willing to give him that space meant more than he could ever say.

Like before, you all settled into the living room for after dinner drinks, but unlike before, you all settled on the couch – you between the men, each of your thighs pressed against the length of their own legs.  It was like you were a conduit, connecting Sonny’s energy to his own and vice versa.

And like before, you were the one who finally stood up and led them each by a hand into the bedroom.  You released Sonny first and then led Rafael to the armchair set up unobtrusively in the corner, and you laid a long, lingering kiss on him.  

“You still sure about this?” you whispered against his lips, and Rafael nodded.  The two of you had talked honestly about it.  If he felt jealous, he could say stop and everyone would stop.  He gave you a playful swat on your ass as he settled back into the chair, and he was rewarded with one of your brilliant smiles that made his heart melt.  He loved you more than he had loved anyone else before, and the fact that you were willing to explore all the parts of him that he’d kept hidden?  

He watched you make your way over to Sonny, who (as before) stood a little uncertainly by the bed.  He looked as handsome as ever – this version of Sonny was a little more casual than work-Sonny; his hair was less styled, and the blue checkered shirt he wore made his eyes even more blue than usual.

“Are you still sure about this?” you asked Sonny, and the man swallowed hard and nodded.  While you and Sonny had made out last time, and he had gone down on you, you hadn’t actually had penetrative sex.  Until now, if all went according to plan.

“Are you sure?” he asked you, repeating the question, and his voice was already tight with lust.  Rafael glanced down and saw that the man was already straining for you, and it made his own cock stir.

But then you both turned to look at Rafael, as if waiting for instructions, and that made all of the blood in him head south.

“Take his clothes off for him,” he ordered, and he was rewarded by your compliance.  You undressed Sonny, one piece at a time, until the man stood naked, his erection bobbing proudly.

“Take her dress off,” Rafael told Sonny.  The older man had picked out your lingerie for the evening, and he wanted to see Sonny’s reaction when he saw it.  It was far more risqué than your usual fare – a black basque of sheer chiffon and satin straps that hid absolutely nothing, matching panties.  Sonny’s expression was worth it – his jaw fell open as his eyes raked over your form, and his cock twitched in anticipation.

“Are you already wet, cariño?” he asked, and you nodded mutely at him.  

“Take off your panties and give them to me,” he continued.  “Then go show Sonny how wet he’s making you.”

You complied, bending at the waist as you worked the black material down your legs.  You were facing Sonny, so he got the benefit of your cleavage pushed up in the half-corset, but Rafael got to see your sex, already swollen and glistening.  It pulled a low groan from him, and when you walked over to hand him your panties, he couldn’t help but pull you down to his upturned face for a deep kiss.

“How do you want us?” you asked, your voice low and husky, but Rafael only shook his head as he pointed back at the bed with his chin.  You walked back over the Sonny.

“Just pretend I’m not here,” he said as he unzipped his straining pants and eased his erection out.  He wrapped your soaked panties around his cock and fisted it lightly, waiting.  “Just…talk about how you’re both feeling.  And Carisi – “ Here his voice took a warning edge to it.  “Don’t you dare hurt her.”

*****

Sonny nodded at Rafael in the corner, but he turned to gaze deep into your eyes as he answered.

“I would never hurt you,” he said, and you rewarded him with that soft smile you had.  You reached up and touched his face, the first time you had really touched all night, and Sonny sighed at the feeling.

“I know.  I trust you.”  Your hand reached further up as you threaded your fingers through his hair, and your other hand took his hand and pulled it to the junction of your legs.  Sonny twisted his palm to touch you, in awe of how wet you already were.  He stroked at your seam, teasing at your folds with his index finger.  

“So how do you want me, counselor?” you asked him.

A stupid question – he wanted you every possible way, and he’d never be able to choose.  He was conscious of Rafael’s heavy gaze on him, so he only said, “however you want, counselor” and hoped that was the right answer.

The hand on his chest slid lower, down the planes of his stomach, then shifted over to his hip, then finally – finally – grasped his erection.  He huffed at the sudden contact, and his own hands reached for you.  Suddenly the voyeur in the corner fell away, and Sonny’s entire focus was on you.

He had despaired that your lone night together might never get a sequel.  Rafael remained distant and snippy at work, so Sonny had been thrilled when you called him to get a drink a few weeks ago.  You had explained over beers that Rafael – and you – wanted to see him again, but that it needed to be a slow progression.

Sonny was more than fine with that.  Patience didn’t come naturally to him, but he could be patient for both you and Rafael.  He felt like the reward for such patience would be worth it.

Now, he didn’t mull over the future too much.  He only grabbed at handfuls of your flesh – those amazing breasts, framed by black satin straps.  That shapely ass, bare.  He bent his head to kiss you, and he groaned against the taste of you, mingled with the wine you’d had for dinner.  You were an excellent kisser, nipping at him and sucking against him, pulling his breath from him until he was panting against you.

“How about you lie down?” you offered, and Sonny eagerly did just that.  You stood over him and then had him turn a bit on the bed, and when he gave you a quizzical glance, you leaned down and whispered “so Rafi can see you sliding into me.”

Sonny let his head fall back against the pillow with a groan, and you shot him a sultry grin as you reached past him to the nightstand to grab a condom.  When he reached for it, you waved him off, and rolled the latex onto his length.

“You have a beautiful cock,” you told him seriously, and Sonny laughed.  No one had ever told him it was beautiful before, but it made him twitch with pride.

“Seems a shame to cover it up,” Rafael offered from his corner, and Sonny glanced over to see the older man stroking himself at a languid pace.  “Something to consider for next time.”

Sonny felt that bolt of lust deep his belly.  So there could be a next time.  Jesus, just the thought nearly made him come right then.

“Would you like that?” you asked him as you swung your leg over him so that you were straddling his thighs.  “Would you like to slide your bare cock inside me and mark me, Sonny?”

He nodded, tried to respond.  Nothing came out by a dry croak, so he cleared his throat and tried again.  “I would.  Like that, I mean.  A lot.”

You gave him that smile of yours again that made his heart ache a little, but then you moved up a bit and lowered yourself against him.  He felt you through the latex, incredibly hot, as you slid back and forth on his length, coating him in your arousal.  You paused to look over your shoulder at Rafael, but your grinding continued until Sonny felt the head of his cock catch at your entrance.  You froze and looked down at him, and Sonny swallowed and nodded at your unasked question.

You moved forward, and he felt the tip of him slip into you.  You went slow – far too slow for his taste, but Sonny knew it was as much for Rafael as it was for you.  You narrated how you were feeling, just as your boyfriend had asked, and it made Sonny’s pride swell as you described how good he felt inside you, how he filled you, how you could feel every ridge and curve of him.

You rode him slowly, leaned forward a bit to offer a premium view of the action to Rafael.  Your hands were on Sonny’s chest, and you leaned forward now and then to kiss him.  Sonny kept his own hands on your hips, guiding you but not driving you.

“This okay?” you asked, and your voice was breathless.

“Fuck, yes,” he replied.  He was grateful for the condom – if he were inside you bare (god, the thought alone made his stomach twist in anticipation), he would have finished shamefully fast.  Even now, he could feel how well your core clenched at him, and even through the condom, he could feel your delicious heat.

“You want to change it up?” you asked, and you quirked an eyebrow at him in the exact same expression that Rafael sometimes got at work.  

When Sonny didn’t answer and only looked confused, you leaned down and whispered in his ear.  “I think Rafi might enjoy watching you take me from behind, Sunshine.  And you don’t need to be so gentle.  I won’t break.”

*****

Rafael thought he’d be more jealous, but oddly, he wasn’t.  He chalked it up to you – how open you were, how much you always made sure he felt your love for him.  You had really helped him work through all the issues other women had left him with and now, this was the payoff.

He could have come quickly, but he purposely backed off when he felt his orgasm approaching.  The scene before him was too good – the two of you stripping each other until Sonny was naked and you were in that lingerie he loved.  The two of you tentative at first, then getting lost in your kisses.  Then you mounting Sonny slowly so that Rafael could see every blessed inch disappear into you.  

You knew him so well.  As much as he enjoyed watching you ride Sonny, he couldn’t see either of your faces.  Without a single prompt from him, he watched as you leaned down and whispered something inaudible to the younger man.  Then, you dismounted, and for a moment, Rafael was confused.  Had someone come without him realizing it?  

No, that wasn’t it at all.  You actually winked at Rafael, then laughed at his stupefied expression.  You knelt on the bed and faced him, and Sonny crawled behind you.  Then the man placed a firm hand between your shoulder blades and pressed you downward, and that action – Sonny confidently dominant, you happily submissive – made Rafael grip his cock at the base to stop his quickly approaching orgasm.

The expressions on your faces were extraordinary as Sonny slid into you in one strong motion.  It jolted you forward, and you moaned, and Rafael saw your eyes flutter shut at the feeling.  He couldn’t help but wonder how it felt, and as Sonny set a pace – slow and deep at first, then harder at your urging – Rafael imagined that it was him on his hands and knees in front of Sonny.  

It was exactly what he had wanted when he suggested just watching the two of you.  A safe space, a moment to explore his imagined desires without any pressure.  Sonny’s face was pure concentration, but yours was going blank which meant you were close to finishing.

“You like that?” Sonny growled, and his voice was deeper than usual.  You only choked out that you were close and Sonny, unexpectedly bold, backed off.  Your groan of frustration made Rafael smile.

“Please, Sonny,” you whined.  “I’m so close.  Just a little more.”

Sonny resumed his thrusting.  “Like that?”

“Yes,” you hissed.  “Harder.  Please.  Harder.”

“Since you asked nice, doll.”  He held your hips hard enough for Rafael to know that there’d be fingertip-sized bruises tomorrow, and the thought of the younger man marking you pushed Rafael closer to coming.

It only took you half a moment longer, and then you gave that tell-tale wail you had when you were being fucked especially well.  Your face scrunched up as your body tightened in release, your legs trembling under you and your arms struggling to hold you up.

Sonny took the opportunity to push your front down, hauling your ass closer to him as he pounded a final few strokes into you.  Then he gave a deep groan and stilled, his own face tight as he came.

Which was all that Rafael needed to come too – your dying wail echoing in his ears, Sonny’s own groan of release, and the two of you panting and still joined.  Rafael noted the way Sonny’s hand drifted to your back to rub a comforting circle against your skin, and he heard your breathy little huff of laughter you always gave post-orgasm.  His own tight coil of tension snapped, and his orgasm flooded through his body, left him boneless and weak as he spilled his own release over your ruined panties and his fist.

*****

The post-sex moment was far less awkward this time around.  You each cleaned up, and you threw on a silk robe.  No sense in getting dressed.  You were either going to fuck Rafael after Sonny left, or you were going to fall asleep and not wake up for two days.  Either felt acceptable.

Before there had been awkward, stilted small talk, but this time, the atmosphere felt more relaxed.  Sonny seemed happy (obviously), and Rafael didn’t seem to have a bit of jealousy.  Instead, the two men had made a few jokes about some coworker at SVU, and it made you smile to see it.  

The best part?  When Sonny went to leave, he paused self-consciously by the door and stammered out something about how he thanked you for the opportunity, and you joked that it sounded like he was leaving a job interview.

“Well, I had fun,” he replied a little defensively.

“Me too.”

Rafael added, “I enjoyed it too.”  There was a beat of silence, and then he added, “we’ll have to do this again sometime.”

[noellawrites]

Isolation - Yandere!Rafael Barba x reader

requested by @detectivebarba

summary: After you are shot while on duty, Rafael manipulates both you and the SVU squad to get what he wants.

warnings: shooting, bullet wound, reader is hospitalized, angst, lying, manipulation

A single shot rang out, causing you to turn your head towards where the commotion was coming from. Your service weapon was drawn, but you didn't have time to shoot. The bullet hit you right below your chest.

You slammed into the ground with a groan. Pain ricocheted through your body, but you knew you were lucky. Your vest had caught the bullet.

"11-41, we got an officer down. I need a bus to Irving and East 17th ASAP," you heard Sonny call over his radio.

Liv was on the ground next to you in a flash. She had pulled your vest off and was examining the damage.

"It looks like the vest caught most of the damage. You're going to be fine, (y/n)," Liv assured you.

You watched from the ground as Amanda and Fin apprehended the shooter and wrangled him into the backseat of the squad car.

"P-please c-call Raf," you rasped, and Liv nodded. Your breathing sounded erratic and you were coughing and wincing in pain. Sonny turned around, bending down to the other side of you.

"I think you've got a punctured lung, (y/n)," Carisi explained.

Your eyes widened and tears threatened to spill from them. You couldn't speak, so you only shook your head vigorously.

Liv stood up and dialed Rafael's number. She wasn't looking forward to breaking the news to him, as he was extremely protective of you.

"The vest caught the bullet, but it looks like they have some broken ribs and they're having trouble breathing. I know, Rafa. We'll meet you at Mercy."

—

Everything became a blur once you were loaded into the ambulance. Liv rode with you while Sonny drove the squad car to Mercy. Fin and Amanda were booking the shooter and finishing the paperwork, but promised to come to visit as soon as they could.

A flustered Rafael was already sitting in your room once you were brought back from your emergency surgery. He stood up as soon as he saw the nurses wheeling your hospital bed back in.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, concern thick in his voice.

"Better, now that I can actually breathe. Hey, where is everyone else?" you asked, looking around your private room. There were already four vases of flowers, but no one else was there besides your boyfriend and the two nurses hooking up your IV bags.

"They'd only let one person in at a time, so I told them I was your husband. I'll go out and tell everyone that you're awake and out of surgery, though," Rafael promised.

He leaned over, kissing you on the forehead and smiling at you before he exited the room.

—

Rafael was stunned at just how many NYPD employees had showed up to support you. He walked into the lounge and guessed there had to be at least thirty people. There were lots of beat cops, mostly people he recognized as old friends and co-workers of yours.

He spotted Liv and Sonny standing in a corner with Chief Dodds and IAB Captain Tucker. Rafael approached them and took a deep breath.

"They're out of surgery and conscious. They don't want any visitors, though. Any idea why that son of a bitch would do this?" Rafael said, clenching his jaw in anger.

"Fin and Rollins are workin' on it, but we got nothin' so far," Sonny explained.

"No visitors? Any idea why?" Liv asked, narrowing her eyes.

"They said they didn't want to see any of you. I'm pretty sure they're planning on leaving the squad after this. I'm sorry."

" Well, give them these if you could, counselor. It's from all of us down at 1PP," Tucker explained, handing Rafael a bouquet.

"I will, thank you," Rafael nodded, taking the flowers.

"And these, my ma made an emergency cannoli batch when she heard," Sonny added, shoving a Tupperware container into Rafael's other hand.

Rafael couldn't wait to get back into your room, take your phone and block each and every one of them. He would take care of you and nurse you through your recovery without the squad to bother him.

He was quite proud of this plan he'd set into motion. He paid the shooter handsomely, as he would be serving a few years in prison. It was airtight, nothing could be tracked back to him. And now, you were all his.

—

You woke up from your nap and turned to your left side, where Rafael was sitting. He was texting something on his phone and hadn't noticed you'd woken up.

"Rafa?" you mumbled, rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

"Hey, baby. You have a good nap?"

"Yeah. Did anyone come by to visit?" you asked. You wanted to see your friends more than anything.

"Just Tucker to drop off some flowers," your boyfriend explained.

You frowned, glancing out the window at the New York skyline. You got shot, broke two ribs and your lung collapsed, and your friends couldn't even bother to come see you in the hospital?

"I'll call Liv, I'm sure it's just a misunderstanding. Maybe they think I'm still in surgery or something," you said, grabbing your phone from the tray table beside you.

You clicked on Olivia's contact and tried to press the call button, but your call was immediately rejected.

"That's weird," you remarked, and tried again. Again, the call rejected.

You narrowed your eyes and tried Sonny's contact. Then Amanda. Then Fin. All rejected calls. You turned your phone off, tears welling up in your eyes. Why would they ice you out like this?

"I'm sorry (y/n), but they don't want to hear from you or see you. I tried to call them earlier and only Liv answered. She said you're off the squad. I'm really sorry," Rafael explained, standing up from his seat and moving to stand over your hospital bed. He wiped the tears from your eyes and looked at you with an expression of pity.

"Why would they do this?" you sobbed, covering your eyes with your hands.

"Once you get out of here, I'll move you into my apartment. I'll take care of you, okay? I promise," Rafael said, smiling at you and bending over to give you a hug. He would always protect you, and you would never have to know the truth.

[plaidbooks]

Aw imagine what ADA!Sonny would be like if he got a phone call from Liv or Rollins or someone else saying that his Wife!Reader had been attacked? He would drop everything and run off to the precinct or hospital ASAP.

CW: stabbings, rough pregnancy/birth (baby is fine), blood

Sonny's phone had been vibrating in his pocket in trial, but he ignored it when he saw it was Olivia--work could wait a moment. He knew she'd understand. But then she called again. And again.

"Um, can I get a recess, your honor?" he finally asked, and was granted fifteen minutes. He left the courtroom as he answered, a little more curt than normal, but Olivia didn't give him a chance to talk.

"She was attacked, Carisi--we rushed her to Mercy--"

"What?!" he yelled, heart stopping. The bailiff was standing nearby, and Sonny told him that he had to go, family emergency, and that he'd send a replacement.

*********

By the time he got to the hospital, a thousand different situations had run through his head. He skidded up to the nurse's station, out of breath from running through the parking lot. His hair was a limp mess, and his suit was rumpled, but he didn't care. All he cared about was you and the baby.

"Carisi!" Amanda called, waving him down the hall before he could open his mouth. He ducked around the nurse's station, booking it to his old partner.

"Is she--"

"In surgery--the doctors said the baby had to be born now--"

"This early?!"

"...she was in bad shape, Carisi," Amanda said, voice soft.

He clenched his jaw against the panic rising in him. "I need to see her; I need to be there to help her through this."

"They might not let you--"

"That's my wife! My child! I need to be in there!" he asserted.

But Amanda was right; he was relegated to the waiting room. While waiting, he asked Olivia and Amanda for details. At first, they were unwilling to tell him, not wanting to stress him out more, but he needed to know.

Apparently, you had been stabbed multiple times by a man that you had arrested a month or two ago, and Sonny had failed to put him behind bars. At this moment, there was no telling if the baby had been harmed. Once at the hospital, they had taken you directly into surgery for an emergency c-section, and for a blood transfusion.

He blamed himself for it, for not putting the bastard in jail. He should've tried harder, should've known something like this could happen. The guilt was starting to eat him alive before he finally pushed himself to his feet.

Olivia and Amanda watched him slowly wander out. They called to him, but he didn't hear--he just needed to work out the energy that was slowly killing him.

He wandered blindly, and when he came to his senses, he found himself in a blood donation center. He thought about how you needed a blood transfusion, about how some random stranger saved your life, and he went up to talk to the nurse.

***********

It took another two hours of sitting in the waiting room, ignoring the tight bandage on his elbow, before Sonny got to go see you. You were still unconscious in bed, the machines softly buzzing around you.

Sonny sat next to your bed, waiting. Waiting for you to wake up, or for your baby--a little girl, who was unharmed in the stabbing, but still had tests to pass. Just waiting. Again.

There was a soft knock, and a nurse brought in a little swaddled bundle. She passed Sonny his daughter, and he gave her the name Angelina--it wasn't set in stone yet; you and Sonny had gone over baby names during the pregnancy, but right now, she was Sonny's little angel.

He unbuttoned his shirt quickly, placing her on his chest. He muttered to her in both English and Italian, rubbing her back soothingly. She grunted and cooed, and Sonny couldn't stop the tears that came to his eyes. He had held newborns before with his sister's children, but this was different. He was already in love with his daughter, a strong bond forming between them, and he wanted nothing more than to protect her from the world.

Finally, your eyelids fluttered, and you let out your usual "just woke up in the morning" grunt. The sound alone was enough to get an audible sob out of Sonny.

Instantly, your eyes went to him, then to your baby girl. "Dominick, what--"

"Oh, thank God you're okay--how're you feeling? Need water? A nurse? Want me to--"

"Dom, babe," you groaned, trying to blink some focus into your eyes. "Too many questions." You rubbed your eyes, then looked back to the baby on his chest. "Is that...ours?"

Sonny looked confused and then his eyes widened. He quickly stood, leaning over you. "Right, sorry doll. Say hello to our daughter. Angelina, this is your mommy," he introduced, passing you the girl.

"Angelina?" you asked, bemused.

"It doesn't haveta stay--I just thought with all that happened...she's our little miracle...our angel."

You looked up into his eyes with a smile. "I like it," you replied. You shifted so that you could feed her, and Sonny sat back down. Then memories started to crash over you.

"Fuck! I--I was stabbed--that man from the case back in July--"

Sonny took your hand. "I know, doll."

You looked over your husband again, recognizing his work clothes from this morning before he left for work. "Oh god, you were at work. I'm so sorry, Dom--you must've been panicking--"

"Hush, I'm not letting ya apologize for being stabbed. Besides, I should be the one sayin' I'm sorry for not getting the conviction--"

"It was a shit case with little evidence. It's not your fault that the jury botched it."

You both sat in silence while your daughter fed. Finally, Sonny said, "as long as you and our lil girl are safe, I'm happy, doll."

"We are; we're together, as a family."

"Yeah we are," he smiled at you, "and this time, I'm makin' sure he rots in jail for even daring ta hurt you."

[fatalitysficbakery]

That Girl Is Mine. (Sonny Carisi x Black Fem!Reader Ft. Rafael Barba)

Genre: A Teaspoon Of Angst/Fluff.

Warning: Possessive Dom, Dad Figure Odafin, Light Asshole Barba, Mentions of Rape, SVU stuff, Smutty No Full Smut.

Synopsis: Barba takes a little too much of a liking to Sonny’s girl.

❤︎ Heaven’s Baked Goods (Masterlist) ❤︎

There was one thing you just didn’t fuck around with; Sonny’s woman. Y/n Y/ln was Sonny’s the moment she transferred to the precinct, second she walked in Benson and Rollin’s could see him sit up straighter, stumbling over his words trying to talk to her.

You were a plus sized curvaceous woman, a red lochead with a skintone like a starless night, average height but still shorter than Sonny, two sweet dimples poking in each cheek, and a gap between your teeth that never stopped you from smiling big. It was a wonder he’d gotten to you before someone else— Lord knows how shy Sonny is. It took him a year to even work up the courage.

Now that you were Sonny’s, ain’t nothing was gonna change that. You were his. He was yours. End of discussion. But… You were alluring, the sexiest woman Sonny had ever laid eyes on, charming with a sharp tongue, it wasn’t shocking to Sonny that other people may have admired you— As long as they didn’t cross any lines. He was a jealous, protective individual but he could be rational until in the face of blatant disrespect; Namely, ADA Barba Rafael.

“Eh, Counselor. So, whaddya think? Grounds for a warrant”? Carisi crossed his arms, leaning against the wall, everyone gathered around in the precinct, a whiteboard with suspects and victims on the front. You stood next to him, your head leaned on his shoulder, hoping this was enough to get an arrest warrant.

“All 4 kids are strangers? No connections”?

“Yup. And they all identified David Martin as the assailant that molested them in the backroom of his bodega with the red dog and jesus statue”. You confirmed, crossing the room to the board, feeling Sonny’s eyes burn a hole through you; Proud. He was always insanely proud of you and loved to see you work.

Barba contemplated for a moment, and then he sighed— “How fast do you need it”? he asked, that familiar ‘yeah, i’m that bitch that can get you what you need’ smirk on his face. It thrilled you all each time.

“Now would be nice” Benson replies to which Barba smiles, nodding softly. Benson turns to Rollins and Fin, “Go pick him up”.

After they’d gone, that left you, Barba, and Sonny. Benson went back to her office to call Chief. You and Sonny were to prepare for the perps arrival since Olivia was clear on it being the two of you to lead the interrogation being the two most warm personalities on the team, “Whadda we have on David”? you asked, sitting on the table, scrolling through David’s file.

“24. Inherited his rents family bodega and works beside them in it, lives back home with said rents…Oh…” His eyes lit up at the arrest info, smirking at you and Raf.

“Sexual misconduct. He was a tutor outside of being a college student, 8 year old girl told her mutha he’d been playing other games with her outside of tutoring like—” He sucked in his teeth when he said it, “Mommy and daddy”.

You groaned; This never got easier. These scumbags never failed to disgust you, sending anger to the very pit of your stomach, “Grade A Douchebag, got it”. You rolled your eyes, facepalming. Rafa laughed, patting your shoulder.

“Well, we’ve got no reason to worry. I’ve got complete faith you’ll get this guy to confess like you always do, Mi Amor. It’s your talent”.

Sonny’s eyebrows rose, suddenly watching the two of you intently, clearing his throat. “C’mon, Doll. Cap wants us at the interrogation room”. He grabbed your arm, relieved when your attention finally went back to him, grabbing your tablet and following behind him energized and ready to dig into the scum. Rafa happily watched you walk away before following.

Of course Rafael loved Sonny, he loved everyone on the team even when they butted heads but you; You had a hold on Rafael, reminding him of an old love. Maybe it was only infatuation what he felt for you but he couldn’t hide his attraction. He only hoped he could back off for fear of losing two of his closest, oldest friends, scared out of his mind that either of you would catch on and shun him. His hand shook a little at the thought watching the two of you disappear into the interrogation room, chewing roughly on his lip; A habit he’d mostly gotten rid of before this whole debacle had started it back up.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

“Barba likes ya”.

That was the first thing Sonny had said the entire time you were in the car on your way home. You could see his hand gripping the steering wheel, making his arm flex. It was a statement you’d like to refute, argue against but deep within your soul you knew Sonny was right and it would have to be nipped in the bud soon because truly; You were only in love with Dominick.

“Maybe it’s just a small crush he’ll get over” You mumbled, not believing your own words nor wanting to risk upsetting Sonny further; His shoulders relaxed, a sigh on his tongue. He was only worried, you knew. Sonny was packed full of insecurity although he was the best that ever happened to you.

“Ya right, Sweetheart. It’s just— Raf’s one of my close friends. Kinda like, uh, uh, a bee sting in da ass”

You snickered, sitting up in your seat and looking over at your boyfriend. “A bee sting in the ass? That’s a new one fa me”.— Leaning over, you kiss his cheek, smiling brightly when your driveway came into view. Home sweet home.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

you and sonny’s outfit:

The next time you and Sonny saw Rafa was outside of work after the David Martin trial. No surprise that you and Sonny got him to confess, it all unraveled from there. You and Sonny wanted to have a dinner with the team and as the ADA who got the guilty verdict, of course Rafael was invited. You both still had mad love for him and that wouldn’t ever change.

Benson volunteered her house since you and Carisi were currently renovating.

“Uh, man do you ever dress in something other than a sweater vest”? Fin questioned, helping him, Kat, and Amanda grab the drinks. You chuckled, Sonny did love his sweater vests but they looked amazing on him so you definitely weren’t complaining. Not one bit. The rolled up sleeves were the cherry on top.

“I was always taught to dress like a gentleman” Risi winked, earning a snort from you and Amanda.

“That, and the fact Y/n can’t stop drooling when you wear em” Rollins teased, making you blush like a maniac which Sonny took notice to and adored, his lips curling into an amused smile.

Rafael’s smiled seemed to drop a bit at the conversation, but again, he knew he could never move in on you, he was still a close friend to the two of you and he valued all of you. However, his heart still clenched knowing in your eyes— He was only a friend.

“I can’t help it. Do you see him, Manda? He looks like a delectable italian meal. All for me”. You met eyes with Sonny, emphasizing the last three words possessively, your eyes hiding a darker meaning behind them; Sonny licked his lips, his eyes meeting with Rafael’s, a simple nod would suffice.

“So, ladies and gents I think we should make a toast for our lead detective on this case. Miss Y/LN, wanna take a bow”? Olivia speaks up, everyone stood in front of their chairs, holding up glasses of wine; You were a blushing mess with the spotlight on you, a peculiar fact about you given the occupation you’d chosen especially when the spotlight was always on you, SVU, and the entire NYPD as a whole.

Although all eyes were on you, there were two pairs trained in on your every move specifically; Enthralled by you just simply existing. “Well, I can’t take all the credit. Not when Son was here every step of the way being the amazing partner he is”. You leaned into Sonny, rolling your eyes when everyone started cooing— Well, everyone but Barba that is.

“And also…ADA Barba. You did your damn thing as always”. You winked at Rafa, friendly yet it made his heart leap for joy; As if he’d just made it atop Mount Everest. He still wasn’t sure if this was love but he knew he’d do anything to continue seeing you turn that beautiful smile in his direction. Carisi’s jaw clenched just a bit, not because of you talking about Barba but because of the familiar twinkle in Rafael’s eyes when you looked his way— A look Carisi knew well because it’s the same one he’d had when he’d first fallen head over heels for you.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

“Sonny’s out sick so I’m partnered with Y/N. We’re chasing our suspect and I completely fall on my ass, meanwhile Y/LN over here is running like fucking sonic the hedgehog. Didn’t slip not once, did this dramatic ass flip right onto the douchebag while I’m still trying to stop the burning in my ass” Rollin’s tells a story from your very first days at SVU, before you and Sonny were anything more than bestfriends; Laughter erupts throughout the table while you groaned.

“I was the rookie, had to show my skills off. Best believe I felt that flip in my back the next day”. Rolling your eyes, Rollins loved telling that story. You used to do some crazy ass shit back in the earlier days; Even now you were still pulling the craziest stunts that left Sonny’s heart racing with concern.

“And yet yuh still up ta no good even today”. Sonny glared at you, a playfulness behind it but you knew he was serious— You’d given that man every grey hair he’d earned on the job. You felt another glare on you, however; Your eyes met Rafael’s, he shifted in his seat uncomfortably before his eyes moved from you to Sonny. It was a tender thing, love was. In this situation there would be a difficult choice for all parties. You and Sonny could handle this in only so many ways, finally sit Rafa down and tell it like it is, ignore it altogether and watch him hurt himself trying, or…break off the friendship for the blatant disrespect.

—Rafa’s POV

Y/N looked gorgeous, before I knew it I was outwardly staring at her while she chatted with the table, admiring every freckle and dimple on her face along with the small gap shown each time she smiled or giggled— Sigh. I was really walking a thin line; Looking at Dominick, I saw a lifelong friend who’d been there for me through some of the darkest points in my life. Helping me through tough cases and being there when I fell with my back against a nearby wall, sobs wracking through my body; Yet here I am…in love with his girlfriend and no doubt future wife. Estoy tan jodido.

I was quiet the entire time, couldn’t find it in me to be chatty. I’d probably just blurt out my love for the woman in front of me if I did. After her eyes met mine for a fraction of a second at the table, she got up from the table and made her way to the balcony; I don’t know why, and I know I shouldn’t have but…I followed her.

Dios estoy tan jodido. I promised myself I wouldn’t do this.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

—Sonny’s POV

I was no dummy, the moment I saw Rafael follow my woman out to that fucking balcony, I was seethin’. Mama raised a gentleman, and Rafa was a friend but if he was thinkin’ of doin what I thought he was; I was gonna blow my lid. So much for friendship.

“Ah, Sonny? You alright”? Kat spoke up, I guess I’d zoned out because the entire table was looking at me as if waiting for my next move. I wonder if they could see the bullshit that was happening— I felt betrayed, not only that, but I knew Y/N was uncomfortable with this situation, she’d told me many a night and it took everything within me not to go confront Rafael myself.

“I’m good, yeah”.

Rollins and Benson looked at each other before Benson sighed and nodded her head towards the balcony, “I’d go nip this in a bud if I were you”.

Licking my lips, I nodded. It was time to put a stop this. I’m sorry Rafael, I love ya like a brother but Non lo sopporterò.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

“It’s pretty out here, isn’t it”? Barba snuck up behind you while you watched the stars; Poor thing, you even flinched a bit. You were hoping it would’ve been Sonny who joined you on that balcony— A hidden grimace when you’d realized it was Rafael of all people. The man you wanted most to avoid. How he could even think of doing this to Dominick was insane to you. That was his longtime friend, he’d known him even longer than he’d known you and yet here he was willing to risk everything; Even you. The woman he claimed to love.

“It is. I was just going back in, though. It’s a bit chilly”. You stood there awkwardly, watching Rafael’s body language. He was about to confess, you could tell and you weren’t ready for it— You needed Sonny, but knowing him? He was already on his way and about to blow up on Barba any second.

“No, wait a second, Querida. Please”. He reached out, catching your arm in his hand. You looked at it, contemplating your next move.

Well, you stopped, which was a mistake in and of itself. The first thing Sonny saw was you wiping your lips and storming past Barba to the front door with angry tears rolling down your cheeks and Rafa stood with a red handprint on his cheek, looking guilty and apologetic— Anger filled throughout Dominick but his main concern lied with you at the moment. He’d deal with Barba later.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

“What’d he do, Sweetheart”? Dom’s voice was thick with gruff, his sleeves rolled up. He’d taken you home after informing Benson and the team, shooting a glare to Rafael as he told them that you “suddenly” didn’t feel so well. The room fell silent, and eyes moved to Barba before Benson and the rest came to see you two out; Odafin hugged you particularly tight that night, you were like his daughter, best believe he rained down hellfire on Barba after the two of you left.

“He kissed me”. You spoke weakly, afraid that Sonny would blame you, blow up at you; With a past filled with abusive relationships, it’s what you were used to. You nearly flinched when you saw how angry your words made Carisi— He was angry but not at you, never at you. He was angry that Barba would disrespect your boundaries and kiss you without your full consent, he was angry that his friend would kiss his future wife without any shame. The disrespect left Dominick speechless. His eyes, however, softened when he saw how afraid you looked, rushing to your side and pulling you into his embrace “I’ll fix this, Doll. I’m not mad at ya, I’m mad at Barba”. he was worried when you didn’t say anything, continuing to hold you to his chest nonetheless.

“Did y’know your accent gets thicker when you’re angry”? You mumbled, pulling away from his chest, a small smile on your face as you wiped your tears; Sonny chuckled, he knew his woman well. You were strong. He was still gonna light Barba’s ass on fire but you were strong. He’d tell anyone he ever met the same thing.

“You’ve told me once or twice. C’mere. Let’s get you into a bath, darlin’. Go get some sleepwear while I run the water, okay”? He pressed a kiss to your forehead and disappeared to the bathroom with his phone in hand, he hadn’t forgotten what Barba done; As Carisi said himself. Revenge was one of an Italian’s major food groups. While he waited for the bubble bath to fill up, he shot a text to Rafael.

“Ya fucked up, Barba. Meet me tomorrow at 7. Y/N doesn’t need to know.”

With that he turned his phone off, ready to focus on you and only you for the rest of the night. When he turned to see you, his smile could get no bigger. You were his calm in the middle of every storm, when he was tense, frustrated, angry, sad, etc— You were there to remind him he was human, one deserving of love and right now? You both needed each other, more than ever.

Sonny beckons you over with a finger, sighing when you’re finally in front of him, “Lift”. he instructed softly, removing your bra before helping you remove your underwear, when he was about to leave and let you relax, you grabbed his arm shaking your head.

“You don’t think I know you better than I know myself, Dom? You’ve had a rough night— No, a rough couple weeks dealing with your friends betrayal as well. Come bathe with me…We can make each other feel better”.

Man, he loved you more than anything in this world.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

The next day Sonny awoke early, careful not to wake ya when he did, ready to confront Barba since the two of you were off today— Told to take the rest of the week off by Benson after the whole thing with Barba went down. Carisi was at first not sure that Rafael would even show up while he pulled on a simple white tee and some grey sweats; Maybe Barba really didn’t have any shame and gave zero fucks but this wouldn’t go for Sonny, not when he’d made his woman cry last night running out of Olivia’s house uncomfortable and enraged by someone she thought she could call a friend, a longtime one at that. He was just starting to debate leaving you at home when a text came through his phone, Barba, Rafael flashing across the screen. Usually Dominick loved getting a text from his friend, but now seeing his name left a sour taste in his mouth. He was hesitant when he picked up the phone, hoping Barba wasn’t argumentative— He was an ADA though, arguing was literally his job but protecting you? That was Sonny’s job. His purpose.

Barba, Rafael; Starbucks. 7. I’m already here.

Carisi stared at the message for a bit, taking a deep breath, he looked at you sleeping peacefully and put his phone in his pocket remembering just what he was doing this for. Who he was doing this for, and that gave the fairly non-confrontational man the push he needed to possibly go and break off an 8-year-long friendship. Walking back over to you, he leans down and kisses your forehead, “I’m gunna protect ya, Bambi. I swear ta ya”.

—

Walking into the Starbucks was nerve wracking, Sonny used to think of Rafael as a brother and to have him betray their brotherhood like this was insanely hurtful— Sonny is a sensitive, affectionate, and loving person. Hell, he’d shed a tear or two when Amaro came back after all these years. After this altercation with Rafa, he’d definitely come home to you and melt into your embrace, maybe finally let out the emotions he’d been holding in since this whole thing started. Looking around, his eyes meet Rafael’s and he smirked, he smirked at Sonny and that smirk seemed anything but friendly given the situation. Deep breaths, Sonny. This is your woman we’re defending here.

And so, he walked over to the booth and took a seat.

“What were you thinking, Barba”? That was the question that had plagued him since Barba kissed you that night without asking if you were okay with it; In their line of work, they couldn’t afford to do anything without consent. Seeing so many cases where consent wasn’t in the perps vocabulary, Barba should’ve known better.

“I was thinking, I love her, I need her” Barba responded coolly as if he didn’t care that Y/N had run from him crying after slapping the fuck out of him for even thinking she’d be okay with him kissing her. Dom scoffed, looking at the man as if he’d grown two heads.

“And Y/N, uh, she said she was fine with this”? Sonny raised an eyebrow, leaning across the table— Anger was painted on the Italian’s face, his voice low but threatening depending on Rafael’s next words. Barba’s face noticeably dropped at this which made Sonny snort a little.

“Tell me Raf, What’s her favorite food? Hm? Her favorite book? Movie? What’s her biggest insecurity? Go on, tell me”.

Rafael looked stumped, a deer caught in headlights, “I-I wasn’t thinking”. was all he could say, Carisi nearly laughed, a laugh that would sound bitter, humorless, ANGRY.

“Yeah, ya weren’t thinking, were ya? Yuh claim to love her and yet yuh’know nothing about my woman. Y-you kiss her without her explicit permission for yuh own selfish reasons when ya can’t even tell me the basics…Tell me, Raffy. What’s Y/N’s favorite color? Take a wilddddd fuckin’ guess”, Dominick was erratic at this point, his mouth dry and forehead creased, and yet Rafael still looked unashamed.

“It’s purple. And don’t you dare do that to me, Sonny. I would never hurt her, me entiendes? Huh”!?

That’s when it came out, that bubbling angry laughter Dominick had been holding in since they’d started talking; His sparkling blue eyes trained in on Rafael’s threatening and unwavering, “Her favorite color? It’s Brown. That was a fairly easy one too, Raf. Everyone who knows her knows it, she wears it more than any color. Our home is decorated with mostly brown, hell our fucking walls are brown, Barba. That tells me all I need ta know about yuh little crush”.

Rafael looked taken aback, but Sonny wasn’t done yet— Oh no, he was gonna let Rafael have it.

“We’ve been friends for what? 8 years? And you’ve known Y/N fa 4 years now, Raf. This is an extreme disrespect I won’t stand for any longer. To not only betray me as a friend and brother but ta cross boundaries with my woman yuh claim to love and make her so uncomfortable she runs out crying afta slapping you? That was fucking low, Rafael. So, here’s what’s gonna happen now”.

He stood up, gripping Rafael’s shoulder tightly and leaning down to whisper in his ear, his accent significantly thicker than when he first arrived, voice 3 octaves lower than before, “Until ya can learn basic respect and come to terms with the fact she’ll never love ya— Which I don’t even think ya love her in the first place… I don’t want you near us unless it’s fa work, when you can be a grown man and keep yuh hands to yourself? Respect Y/N and I’s boundaries? We can sit down and talk. Until then? Our relationship is strictly professional. Capisce”?

Before Rafael could even answer Dominick’s longer legs had taken him to the door in 3 short strides, he looked back at Rafael with one last “I’m not fucking playing” stare down before leaving to go home to his woman. His lady.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

When he got home, he was relieved to be there, ridding himself of his shirt before gladly joining your sleeping figure back in bed to rest some more and to hold you. He needed to hold you, to feel you safely there in his arms and no one else’s. His alone.

Before he could, you’d rolled over and put your head on his chest, mumbling sleepily. “Where’ve you been, handsome”? your nails glided down his chest lightly, a tired smirk on your delicate features; Dominick’s chest filled with pride and happiness. There it was. That calm after a storm again. Now that you were there. He hummed, there was no use in lying, you could read him like an open book anyways so he might as well tell you.

“I went to have a chat with Barba”.

You sighed, looking up at him with concern written over your features, the hand previously on his chest moving to his cheek, “How did that go, Mon Monde”?

He scoffed, putting his hand over yours, his eyes rolling slightly remembering what went down. “He knew nothin’ about ya, Doll. You’ve been friends for 4 years, him and I for 8 and he knew nothin. about. ya. Pure infatuation and nothin’ else, didn’t even know yuh favorite color and he had the damned audacity to have zero shame for what he’d done to ya. His only excuse? He needed and loved you. As if that made not asking bettuh— Took all my fuckin’ strength not to fight him, Sweetheart. That was my friend but…No one fucks with my woman. So, I told him to stay away until he can learn to respect us, mainly you. Told him we’d only be working with him and nothin’ else until then— But God, it pissed me off how he didn’t care and it pissed me off even more remembering him kissing on ya. Without consent too? You’re so lucky I’m not in a jail cell right now, Bella. I’d go ta hell for ya if I had to. I would”. After his little rant, he brought your hand to his lips; A kiss placed to the knuckles of that hand. It all made you so flustered, your heart swelled 10x it’s size just seeing how passionate Dom was about you; It also helped that he looked damn hot when he was possessive and protective over you.

“Hey, Dom”? You spoke up, looking up into those beautiful blue eyes you’d fallen in love with 3 years prior— He looked back down into your big hazel ones, reminded and reassured that you were all his when he saw the love in them.

“Yes, Amore”? He whispered, his eyes getting lower scanning your features and retracing the little details over and over again— Only ended by you climbing on top and straddling him, a smirk on your face.

“You’re so damn sexy when you’re all possessive”, leaning down, you kiss from his chest to his collarbone then his jaw, making Sonny shudder before you finally made it to his lips, tugging on his bottom lip with your teeth before finally planting a deep, passionate kiss on the males lips.

Your next words had Dominick’s eyes darkening and he promptly flipped you over after hearing them, nibbling on your ear lobe before whispering his own response,“Remind me who I belong to, Dio”? was what you said, and Carisi was quick to respond.

“My pleasure, Dea”.

~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~ + ~•~~•~•~~•~•~~•~

A/N: I love Barba so much but I saw this gif and felt COMPELLED to write this. he still my baby, doe.

[lannister-slings-and-arrows]

An Early Christmas Present

A Story in the Rafael Barba x Rita Calhoun/Sonny Carisi x Reader Law School AU Keeping Young Talent Coming Our Way

Written, as ever, in collaboration with the talented and beautiful @pascalispretty who was, also as usual, in charge of our moodboard because there are some things that I just cannot be trusted with. Cross posted on ao3!

For @storiesofsvu 's Holiday Bingo, fulfilling the Home for the Holidays square.

Warnings: porn: p. in v. sex, mentions of sex in public places, dirty talk, getting caught, mentions of comeplay, mentions of sex with Rafael and Rita, large families and everything that entails, swearing, drunkenness, childhood photos, relatives with Opinions, invented backstory (don't @ us you know we're right), get a room Sonny, kissing, teasing, over protective sisters, slight unpleasantness resulting thereof, Sonny is adorable, and Sibling Relationships. Rating: Explicit Word Count: 11299 Summary: Sonny brings you home for the extended Carisi family Christmas party. You meet some relatives, you see his childhood bedroom, and Gina sees a lot more than she bargained for.

“Are you sure this is a good idea? Your sisters really do not like me and I’ve heard all your stories about how they get when they’re drunk,” you hedge, allowing Sonny to give you a hand stepping over a puddle of slush and onto the curb. He keeps a tight hold of you as he closes the door of the Uber and turns to face the blue and white house, helping you navigate the snow covered block of ice that is the sidewalk and down onto the scraped-to-the-pavement front walk. You thank every single star in the universe that convinced you to put your heels away and grab your cute fur lined snow boots instead. You have a feeling that falling on your ass and showing up freezing and covered in dirty snow would not earn you a higher place in the Carisi girls’ regard.

“Oh, come on, that’s not true,” Sonny protests, excitedly taking the wooden steps up to the porch two at a time. He turns around once he reaches the door and waits impatiently for you with a wide grin on his face, surrounded by the glow of cheerfully twinkling multi-colored Christmas lights. “They love you! And they’re hilarious when they’re drunk.”

You’ve been working on your ‘are you fucking serious?’ eyebrow since the two of you had started fooling around with Rafa and Rita--since you had two masters of the art to learn from--and you pull it out now as you stand next to Sonny at the door. He either ignores it or doesn’t notice and the smile on his face only gets wider as he grabs the doorknob and walks into his parents’ house.

Entering the mid-sized home that somehow managed to fit six people and multiple pets, you’re hit immediately with the warm, welcoming smell of food and fireplace and the cacophony of an entire clan of loud, happy (and likely a little drunk) people. This is how you always imagined holidays were supposed to be rather than the small quiet affairs you always had with your parents that were planned to every last napkin holder and looked like they came out of a Better Homes and Gardens magazine.

There’s a small mountain of shoes by the front door that Sonny immediately kicks his into with abandon, unwinding his scarf and shedding his coat with a hollered,

“MA!”

A couple of people poke their heads into the tiny front hallway from the two rooms off to either side and grin at Sonny. You listen to an enthusiastic chorus of “Sonny!” as you carefully toe off your shoes and place them neatly next to the footwear pile, wincing at how cold the linoleum is right in front of the front door. Sonny tugs on your elbow to pull you further inside of the house and removes your coat while returning a few “merry Christmas”’s and introducing you to the handful of people now crowding both doorways.

He takes your hand and practically jogs up the stairs immediately facing the door, taking a hard right at the top while explaining,

“Our rooms are over there,” he nods to the hallway to the left of the stairs. “We can dump our coats in my parent’s room.” There looks to be upwards of thirty coats on the bed already and Sonny unceremoniously tosses both of yours onto the pile before making his way back down the hall.

“Bathroom’s right there,” he points out as you’re almost to the top of the stairs. “And you know where the downstairs one is. Come on, let's go grab some drinks and say hey.” You can tell it’s a struggle for him to not run down the narrow staircase and you delay him even further when you spot all the pictures lining the wall.

“No, stop, I am looking at every single one of these,” you insist, laughing at the frustrated groan the comes out of him and his insistence that you don’t need to see pictures of him from when he was younger when you can just look at a less pimply version right now. With a couple of beers and a plate of hors d’oeuvres in front of you both.

“Oh wow, you really were always this lanky weren’t you,” you tease him, pointing out a picture of him in a Little League uniform standing a head taller than every other boy in the group and about ten pounds lighter. Sonny rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically, moving to deliberately stand in front of a picture two steps down and looking significantly at the front hallway. You ignore him and continue perusing, laughing at a few school pictures and unfortunate haircuts before pushing him out of the way to see what he had been trying to hide.

It was a picture of the front of this house, probably in mid-summer, with a bunch of people milling around the yard and the back of a stark naked toddler streaking through the frame. You snort before taking a closer look at the color of the hair. You turn to your boyfriend with a smile that you can feel stretching wider and wider over your face.

“Sonny.” He’s turning red at the ears and is looking at the ceiling like it’s the most fascinating thing in the world.

“You know, we really should go say hi to my mom, maybe start making the rounds of people I want to introduce you to.”

“Sonny.”

“I mean, she’s probably going to want to put dinner on the table soon and we still have to figure out which table she wants us at.”

“Dominick Carisi Jr. is that you running naked as a jaybird through your front yard?”

He groans and covers his face with his hand, shaking his head and walking down the last few steps.

“Yes, okay, yes. I had a bit of a nudist streak when I was a kid, alright, just. I have no idea why my mother insists on keeping that damn photo, it’s humiliating.” Sonny beckons you again, his eyes pleading. “Come on, baby. You can tease me later, I wanna introduce you to my nonna.” Those baby blues are hard to resist and you find yourself sighing exaggeratedly.

“If you insist on making me wait to make fun of you...” You can’t help laughing as you walk down the rest of the stairs, taking his hand again.

“The next time you house sit for your parents, I’m digging through the attic until I find your baby photos,” Sonny promises, squeezing your hand as he leads you into the kitchen. Every surface is covered, either with booze or food, and Sonny’s mother is bustling around the kitchen, gossiping with her sister as she puts the finishing touches on dinner.

“Hi, ma,” Sonny greets, letting go of you as his mother envelops him in a hug that looks like it could crack a rib.

“Oh Sonny, we were wondering if you were ever gonna get here!” Angela leans back, her hands on Sonny’s arms as she examines her son. “Too skinny,” she pronounces, poking him in the stomach. “And you have this weird growth on your face--you should get that checked out by a doctor, could be dangerous.”

“Ma…” Sonny groans, swatting her hand away from his beard, failing to hide his pleased smile. Angela Carisi tugs on her son’s beard again and rolls her eyes.

“You look homeless. I know you aren’t homeless, Sonny, not with that fancy pants new place the two of yous are living in.”

“It keeps my face warm, ma,” Sonny protests, already turning to the fridge.

“So does a scarf,” his mother retorts before turning to you with a welcoming smile.

“Hi, honey, it’s nice to see you again! Merry Christmas!” Angela hugs you too and adds a pinch to your cheek. “You feel cold, sweetie, do you want some coffee? Get the girl a drink, Sonny, and then get outta the kitchen unless you’re planning on helping. Go see your nonna,” she orders, pointing towards the family room. “She’s been complaining all day that she never sees ‘her precious Dominick’, like it’s somehow my fault that you never visit.”

“I visit her all the time!” Sonny defends, popping briefly out of the fridge to frown at his mother.

“Unless you lived with my mother you could never visit her enough, baby, you know that. Now go, shoo, come on!” Sonny throws his hands up in mock surrender.

“You want something hot or cold?” Sonny asks, grabbing a beer for himself.

“One of those is fine,” you reply, your cheeks burning slightly. You wish your own mother was as welcoming to Sonny as Sonny’s is to you. He opens a can and passes it to you before reaching for your free hand again, towing you through the room until he spots the person he’s looking for.

The old woman you presume is Sonny’s only living grandmother is sitting next to the fireplace, holding court amidst a bunch of people who all share Sonny’s wide smile and nasally accent. She somehow manages to make herself heard over the commotion of half a dozen people all talking loudly and simultaneously, alternately critiquing various children and grandchildren for not visiting often enough (apparently that is a common theme) or for doing something she disapproves of with their hair and praising others for always being available to her or for popping out more great grandchildren for her to brag about.

She doesn’t look that much like Sonny, but you see a bit of a resemblance between her and his mom. She’s a gruff looking woman, small but not frail, with the marks of hard work and lived experience written all over her face. She still retains a strong Italian accent and you observe her more than once forget the English word for something and substitute its equivalent from her first language.

Sonny stops at the edge of the circle to watch and listen to his grandma with a fond smile on his face as the woman slaps a man a few years older than Sonny on the back of his hand.

“Ardwin! You watch your mouth! Apologize to Fr. Michael right now!” she scolds, waving to a priest sitting on the other side of the fire and wearing the ugliest Christmas sweater you have ever seen. The chastised young man winces and looks over at the priest, grimacing and shrugging meekly.

“Sorry, Father.” The priest waves his hand tranquilly with a smile that you’ve seen on countless drunk patrons at the bar Sonny works at.

“Why can’t you be more like your cousin? He would never take the Lord’s name in vain, would you Dominick?” The woman turns her eyes towards you and Sonny and you see they’re the same bright blue as your boyfriend’s, if a little sharper and less jovial. Sonny’s grin somehow widens further and he pushes through his family, dragging you along behind him.

“‘Course not, nonna! You’d know and I don’t wanna have my mouth washed out with soap,” he jokes, sitting on the red brick hearth that had been built up to a height that made it a nice little bench in front of the fire. The woman scoffs and proceeds to rearrange Sonny’s hair until its to her liking, correcting,

“No, you wouldn’t do it because you’re a good boy and you know it’s a sin. Dominick, why are you always such a mess? I swear, it’s like your First Communion all over again.”

The woman moves from his hair to the collar of his shirt and finally combs through his beard, saying with a fond smile and a gentle pat,

“I’m glad you kept the beard, paperotto. Real men have facial hair. You look strong. Not so much like a baby. Not as much like your father either.” Three older women snort quietly behind you and your boyfriend rolls his eyes good-naturedly. Sonny sits still and puts up with his grandmother fussing over him with equanimity, gesturing to you with the hand not holding yours, saying,

“Nonna, I’ve got someone I want you to meet.” The woman doesn’t spare you a glance until she’s satisfied with her grandson’s appearance, and when she finally does turn in her chair to face you, you get her full and complete silent attention as she looks you up and down. She stares you straight in the eyes until you clear your throat and are forced to glance away.

“Merry Christmas,” you greet her politely. “It’s nice to finally meet the woman who’s recipes I’ve been sampling for the past year.” You agonize for a second and finally decide that it’s better to be safe than sorry and stick out your hand. The woman continues to stare at you and you hold your breath until she finally smiles widely and brushes your hand aside.

“Get down here and give me a hug,” she orders, and you see Sonny’s shoulders slump a little in relief out of the corner of your eye. “It’s good to finally meet the girl my favorite grandson has been talking my ear off about.” You grin back at her and do as you’re told, and before you’re allowed to stand all the way back up she takes your face in her hands and kisses both your cheeks.

“He says you’re a smart girl--going to be a lawyer like him. That’s good,” she lightly smacks your cheeks and nods decisively. “Young women need skills to support themselves. Don’t ever rely on anyone else to pay your butcher bill.” You nod and she nods back, smacking your cheeks once more before letting you go. “Dominick got you something to drink? Good.”

She turns her attention to a great grandchild that had managed to wriggle his way between the legs of the adults surrounding her and you are dismissed to back up a step to stand next to Sonny on his perch on the fireplace again. You look down and find him grinning up at you. He takes your hand and kisses it before standing and pulling you to the edge of the circle again where the crowd of relatives isn’t quite so thick.

Dinner isn’t served much later and you end up sitting at a table in the living room with his sisters, their various spouses, a few of his cousins, and by now slightly inebriated Sonny. Sonny has been not so sneakily staring at you and your legs all throughout the meal, and gets progressively more obvious about it with the more beer he consumes.

During dessert, and when Sonny’s sister Theresa’s loud story about her weekend in Lake George with her latest boyfriend is distracting the table, you notice Sonny sneaking another glance down at your legs. Taking a sip of your wine, you cross your legs, shifting the napkin in your lap and the hem of your skirt to allow the band of your stocking to peek out from under the black and red plaid.

Sonny looks up at the rest of the table to make sure none of them are looking in your direction before reaching his hand out to brush the delicate lace with his fingertips. You jump when he moves them higher, briefly stroking the bare skin of the top of your thigh. He’s had a little more to drink than you have and it’s making him unexpectedly and pleasantly bold. Before you can enjoy it too much, he hooks a finger under the elastic of the band of your stockings and pulls, letting it snap back against your thigh.

“Ow,” you mutter under your breath, glaring at him. Sonny just smiles beatifically at you and goes back to his cake, though he at least has the good grace to top your wine up from the bottle on the table in between taking huge mouthfuls of tiramisu.

It’s not long before the plates on your table are cleared away, gathered up by one of the numerous teenaged nieces and nephews and cousins that Angela had bribed with the promise of extra Christmas cookies into helping clean up. You stick with Sonny during the post meal rush, loosely holding hands as he introduces you to yet more relatives--you’re pretty sure you might need him to make you a chart for next year. This has the added benefit of preventing any of Sonny’s sisters from cornering you while you’re alone.

You could say you aren’t slightly intimidated by Sonny’s sisters, but that would be a lie. They adore their little brother and always seem to regard you with suspicion--a wariness that you might hurt Sonny. You’re pretty certain that Sonny told them what a disaster it was when you had tried to host a dinner for your parents at the newly decorated apartment you share and you are definitely certain they hold your parents’ opinion of him against you. Your natural (slight) fear of them wasn’t helped when Sonny told you about the time seventeen year old Theresa was suspended for three days for slapping a friend of hers for the crime of kissing her little brother. Taking both of those things into consideration, you feel more comfortable around the Carisi girls with Sonny there as a buffer.

You watch contentedly as he helps Gina’s husband build up the fire, his sleeves rolled up for the task. He notices you watching and smiles, standing and wrapping his arms around you with a chuckle when he’s done. He smells like woodsmoke, and you breathe in deeply as he hugs you.

“See something you like?” he asks, pulling the two of you a little further away from the circle of relatives around the fire.

“I could ask you the same,” you tease, his hands warm on your back even through the wool of your cream sweater. Sonny grins wickedly at you, one of his hands sliding down to pinch a fold of your skirt between his fingers.

“God, I couldn’t stop staring at you.”

“I noticed.”

“You encouraged,” he grumps, but is unable to keep the smile off of his face for longer than a couple of seconds. You bat your eyelashes up at him and shrug.

“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about, Sonny. That doesn’t sound like a very nice thing to do.” He pulls you even closer, briefly glancing over your head to make sure the rest of his family is suitably occupied and not paying attention to either of you. “And I am a very nice person, after all, so that would be completely out of character and not at all in keeping with the spirit of the holiday.”

Sonny growls playfully and bends down to nibble briefly at your neck. The soft, yet faintly scratchy, hair on his face rubs pleasantly against your skin. You shiver slightly, smiling to yourself and thanking God that Rita had shown you how to best cover up beard burn when Sonny had decided to keep his finals beard.

“I’ll show you ‘spirit of the holiday’, Miss Suddenly A Nice Person. You know what would be really in keeping with the spirit of the holiday?” He runs his hands down your sides, stopping when he has both of them on your thighs. “Letting me unwrap those fucking stockings.”

“Now Sonny,” you scold, not bothering to remove his hands or remove yourself from the tight circle of his arms. “We agreed that we would unwrap presents on Christmas morning, I’m not really sure that I should let you have one this early.”

He backs you against the corner and kisses you, capturing your startled gasp with his mouth and pressing you against the wall. You can feel him smiling against your lips and his cock pressing hard against you. Sliding your hands up his back, you tangle them in his hair before moving your face away from his and pushing him back a step or two.

“Sonny, your family is going to definitely notice if you try to fuck me against the family room wall.” He snorts and bends down to kiss you quickly.

“Well then let’s go upstairs where they won’t see anything.”

You stare up into his bright blue, slightly unfocussed, eyes and can’t help but smile at the dopey hopeful grin he’s giving you.

“We can’t just leave, they’ll notice that too,” you point out, slipping from between his arms and moving to stand in front of him to watch as adult Carisis start piling presents under the tree opposite you both. You hear him huff an impatient sigh and he tugs you backwards to rest against him, his big warm hands on your hips pulling you insistently closer and closer to his body. You feel his cock against your ass now, still hard, and chuckle fondly.

“And what do you think you’re doing, Dominick Carisi?” He grinds against you and leans down to whisper,

“Giving you an early Christmas present in hopes of reciprocity.”

You sigh contentedly, unable to help the flutter of your eyes as he keeps pressing against you. The warm, happy, and aroused feeling that has been building for the past few minutes in the pit of your stomach only grows the longer you feel his cock against you and his breath fanning across the back of your neck, disturbing the few hairs that had escaped the careful style you had put it in. He slips a few fingers under your sweater to gently touch your skin.

“Come on, please?” he asks softly, swaying slightly to Bing Crosby crooning promises to be home for Christmas. “I know for a fact you’re gonna love it, and it’s wrapped up so nicely--”

You can’t help giggling at him, throwing your head back against his shoulder and grabbing his hands to prevent them from going any further.

“Sonny, did you just compare your underwear to wrapping paper?”

“Well, when you put it that way it sounds stupid,” Sonny pouts behind you, squeezing his arms tighter around you. “Come on, I can show you my room? Please?”

You can hear the puppy dog eyes in his voice, you don’t need to turn around to see them. You are determined not to give in to them this time--you can’t just run upstairs for a quick fuck while his entire family is a floor away from you. There’s a priest in the next room over, if his mother ever caught you she’d probably make you get married on the spot!

And then Sonny drags his nails lightly over your bare skin underneath your sweater.

You shudder and practically melt against the solid lanky body behind you and Sonny bends down to smile against the shell of your ear.

“Please can I give you your present now?” he breathes, rutting gently against you, nails dragging in circular patterns against your skin, raising goosebumps that the pads of his fingers immediately soothe. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about that skirt all night.”

“I’m well aware,” you hiss quietly, trying to get a hold of yourself and ignore the wobbly, melting feeling that’s spreading down your legs and settling in your knees. “You’re only slightly less obvious then the Christmas lights on the front of the house Sonny, why don’t you try a little harder?”

“No one’s watching us,” he promises, sliding one of his hands to your stomach to hold you against him while he keeps slowly swaying to the music. His cock has got to be uncomfortably hard by the feel of it and you’re resigning yourself to staying strategically in front of him until he can calm down.

“They’re going to be if you keep doing this.” You gasp as his little finger slides under the waistband of your skirt, continuing to caress your skin.

“Did I ever tell you what color plaid the girls in my high school wore?” Sonny whispers in your ear, nipping quickly before looking up and watching as one of his uncles dangles a niece over the fireplace, loudly threatening, over her shrieking giggles, to drop the girl in if she doesn’t stop trying to sneak presents before everyone’s seated.

“Let me guess,” you hedge, smiling at the antics and at the man’s wife shouting at him to put that girl down, he’s had “three too many to be playing with fire”. “Red and black?”

You feel Sonny nods against you.

“I can’t tell you how many times I fantasized about one of my sisters’ friends coming into my room wearing one of those things--”

“Was this before or after Theresa nearly broke her best friend’s nose?”

“Both.”

“Jesus Christ, Sonny,” you laugh, holding onto his forearms. “Someone is going to notice.”

“Do you see how big my family is? No one is going to miss us, whereas I miss you,” he pleads, burying his face in your neck and sighing pathetically.

“We had sex this morning,” you remind him, feeling your resolve caving as your cunt gets wetter and wetter, the warm feeling of arousal spreading through your whole body the longer Sonny keeps hitching his hips and his hard cock against your ass.

“I know,” he whines. “It’s been so long, I think I forgot what you feel like around my cock.” You sigh heavily, sagging against him, unable to fake annoyance very well.

“Well, since we can’t have that…”

“Yeah?” he asks eagerly. “Present time?”

“That is not going to be our code for sex going forward,” you warn him, fighting a smile. “Rafa would never let either of us live that down. That ends right now.” He nods against your neck and gives one last hitch of his hips against you. Before he lets you move away from him he untucks his shirt, presumably in an attempt to make his erection seem less obvious.

“C’mon, before I get roped into making hot chocolate for the kids.” Sonny tugs on your hand, pulling you after him and back into the tiny hallway. There’s nobody there and you manage to sneak up the carpeted stairs relatively stealthily considering how much alcohol has been consumed between the two of you.

Sonny’s bedroom is at the end of the hallway, though you only get a glimpse of a twin bed made up in blue bedding and a Yankees hat hanging from a bedpost before Sonny pushes you against the wall and kisses you. He groans softly into your mouth as he presses his cock against you, his large hands sliding under your sweater to cup your breasts.

“You’re wearing a lot of lace for someone who said she was a good girl and didn’t wanna come upstairs for a fuck,” Sonny teases, his fingers running over the lace of your bra. You know that you’ll get too hot if you keep your wool sweater on so you pull it up over your head, throwing it in the direction of Sonny’s bed.

“I am a good girl,” you protest, watching as Sonny looks down at your newly-exposed skin like it’s the best gift he’s ever been given. “Can I prove it to you? Wanna play out that high school fantasy of yours?” Your fingers find his belt and start to unbuckle it and Sonny shakes his head, still staring at your chest and your black and red bra.

“No games, just want you.” He leans down to kiss you again, his tongue dipping into your mouth as you slide his belt from around his hips. “We can play it later?” he asks when he breaks the kiss, mouthing his way down your throat.

“God, yes,” you whine, biting back a groan when his hands slide under the hem of your skirt. Sonny peppers kisses and nips across the tops of your breasts, sinking down until he’s kneeling on the floor in front you. “I thought you were desperate,” you pant.

“I am. I just wanna get a closer look at this fucking skirt.” His hands slide under the hem, his warm palms on your thighs only adding to the warmth of the arousal that’s spreading through your body. He moves in inches, leaning forward to press small kisses to your stockinged thighs as he slowly pulls your skirt up higher. You tilt your head back, gasping softly when his lips finally meet your bare skin, only to panic when you realize that your underwear will soon be on full display.

“Sonny, wait, stop a second--” You flush, covering his hands with yours and trying to pull him away. “I needed to do laundry, they look stupid.”

“I don’t care what they look like, I just want them off,” Sonny huffs, pulling your skirt up anyway.

They were a gift from Rafa, a stupid pair of cheap black cotton novelty panties emblazoned with ‘I’m on the Naughty List’ in gold glitter on the front. You had only worn them tonight out of necessity--it was these or an old, holey pair you kept for when you were on your period.

Sonny takes one look at them and bursts out laughing. Your face burns in embarrassment as he sits back on his heels to get a better look, his hands still holding your skirt up over your hips.

“Where on earth did you even get these, baby? And why are you wearing twenty dollar panties with a bra that probably cost ten times that?” Sonny manages breathlessly, dissolving into laughter again.

“Rafa bought them for me! He thought they were funny, and it's not like Rita would ever wear them. It was these or some old ones with broken elastic.” Still snickering, Sonny pulls his phone out.

“Oh, well we gotta send Rafa a photo of you wearing his present. Rita’ll die, hold still--” He struggles for a moment to keep your skirt pulled up high enough with one hand and to keep his phone steady enough to take a photo in the other but eventually he manages. He looks so gleeful that you can’t help but smile, even if it’s at your own expense.

“You were practically dry humping me in a room full of your relatives a minute ago and now you want to stop for a photo shoot?” you huff teasingly, running your fingers through his hair. There’s already a little grey growing in at the temples and it somehow only makes him look more attractive. Sonny briefly lets go of your skirt to tap out a quick message and then abandons his phone on the bed.

“You’re right, I’m sorry sweetheart,” he murmurs, leaning closer and pressing a kiss to your cunt over your underwear. You have to bite your lip to fight back a groan as his nose bumps against your clit through the thin cotton.

“So wet, baby. I can feel you through these.” Sonny hooks his long fingers into the waistband and pulls them down your legs, helping you step out of them and leaving them in a heap on the floor. Still on his knees, he nips at your thigh. “Can I just fuck you? Please? I’ll make it up to you later, I’ll eat your pretty pussy out till you drag me away by my hair. I just need to be inside you, please--”

“God fine, just hurry up,” you sigh, tugging at his hair and trying to encourage him to stand back up. He rises quickly, unfastening his dark jeans as fast as he can and pushing them and his boxers down just far enough to free his cock. He bats your hands away when you try to touch him, instead guiding you to wrap your arms around his neck.

In one fluid, practiced motion Sonny lifts you up and pulls your legs around his waist. Even drunk as he is now, Sonny knows exactly what he’s doing.

You had never been all that enamored with having sex standing up until you met Sonny, but it’s one of his favorite positions and he had taken it upon himself to change your mind on the subject. Between being pinned against walls with your legs around Sonny’s hips while gravity did the work like this, and Sonny pressing you into walls while he fucked you from behind, you’ve grown to love it. It had certainly come in handy when the two of you had started dabbling in having sex in more public places--you hardly could attempt missionary in the bathroom stall of a nightclub or a closet at a party.

You reach down between your bodies, wrap your fingers around Sonny’s cock, and guide it to you. Sonny’s breath hitches and he bites down on the curve of your breast to cover a groan as he starts to push into you. The stretch of his cock makes your eyes flutter closed, your teeth digging almost painfully into your lower lip to prevent any noises from tearing their way out of your mouth.

“Fuck, sweetheart--” Sonny gasps, his hands squeezing your thighs as he bottoms out inside of you. He always feels bigger like this, gravity pushing you down onto his cock and making him feel deeper than if you were lying down. He can never help the desperate hitch of his hips as he tries to get even further inside of you and tonight is no different, though he stops himself when you gasp and dig your nails into the back of his neck.

“Sorry, sorry,” he pants, pushing his face against your neck and breathing hard, fingers clenching around your thighs and his arms trembling around you as he stops moving to let you adjust to the girth of him inside you. His hair is soft against your face and you close your eyes and breathe deeply through the initial stretch and burn of your cunt getting used to his cock. The smell of his shampoo--your shampoo, the bastard has been using your expensive conditioner again and is going to hear about that when you can string two sentences together--is strong in your nose and after half a minute you nod and card your fingers through the short hair on the back of his head.

“Come on Sonny, what are you waiting for,” you goad breathlessly. “I thought you were desperate. Am I going to have to wait till we see Rafa and Rita later to really get fucked?”

Sonny groans deep in his throat and grinds his hips against you, nipping your throat and shaking his head before carefully pulling his cock out then sliding it back in. He starts up a slow rhythm that increases in speed and force the longer he continues and you throw your head back against the wall, mouth open and praying silently that you can keep quiet. With every hard thrust the head of his cock passes that soft spot inside of you and you both moan quietly--you at the sudden shock that runs through every nerve in your body and Sonny at the way your cunt clenches around his cock.

The soft sound of skin against skin seems so much louder and more noticeable the longer he fucks you and you’re sure that every single one of his relatives downstairs must be able to hear what you’re doing by now.

“Sonny, fuck, baby come on,” you encourage, squeezing your legs tighter around his hips.

“Jesus Christ sweetheart, you’re so fucking tight like this,” he groans, pulling his cock almost all the way out before slowing pushing back inside of you and resuming his hard pace. “God damn it I love fucking you like this, love how wet you get, and how hot you are, and I love you, you’re perfect,” he keeps babbling, face warm and breath hot against your skin.

He hitches you higher in his arms and you gasp sharply as gravity takes you back down again onto his cock--you’re sure the head hits the end of you and you shudder at the vague, dull, achy pain deep inside of you. Fuck, you’re not going to be able to walk for the rest of the night. Maybe you can pretend you’ve had too much to drink. What’s worse, getting tipsy in front of his family or having post-sex legs?

Your body feels like it’s on fire and every slide of his cock rubs against your clit as well as your g-spot--you’re starting to become convinced you’re going to come like this even without Sonny specifically trying. He’s so warm and solid, pressing you tight between his body and the wall, and you scratch your nails hard against his neck.

“Shit,” he shivers and you can feel his cock twitch inside of you. “Damn it, doll, keep that up and everybody’s gonna think we got a cat or somethin’,” he warns.

You tip your head forward to whisper in his ear,

“Or they’re gonna know exactly what you ran up here so eagerly to do.” Sonny groans and fucks you harder. “Oh, do you like the thought of that? Getting caught’s something that turns you on now? Maybe next time I let you pull me into a bathroom at a club we should be extra loud. Hope some--fuck, Sonny, oh my god, just like that, right there, right there--stranger comes in and sees us?”

He’s panting and whining softly with every breath, thrusts harsh and uncoordinated, hard and getting faster with every word you breathe into his ear.

“Is it the thought of getting caught or someone staying and watching you fuck me? Knowing exactly how you like it, what your cock looks like as it slides into my cunt--oh!”

Sonny bites down on your shoulder and shudders, fingers digging hard into your thighs, before he hitches you higher again, arms practically shaking when you fall back down onto his cock once more.

“You already know I don’t mind bein’ watched, doll,” he pants, readjusting his grip on your legs and then planting his feet to keep fucking you.

“Baby, shit, love the way your cock feels in me right now,” you whimper, tightening your hold around his neck. “But that’s Rafa and Rita, they’re safe, what about a complete and total stranger seeing that?”

Sonny whines again, his teeth going back to your shoulder.

“Gonna leave a mark, hon,” you warn with a smile.

“Something for them to find later,” he promises, panting in your ear. He pauses, catching his breath before admitting bashfully, “I’ve thought about it.”

You rub the side of your face against his soft hair, unable to help clenching around his cock.

“A stranger watching you fuck me?” He nods quickly and you feel his face getting even warmer against your bare skin. “Fuck, so have I.”

“So wet and so warm around my cock, does that make you hot baby?” he asks quietly, desperately seeking release now, his hips making even harder wetter slapping sounds against you. “Cause it feels kinda like it fucking does.”

“Yes, yes, okay, fuck, yes, I’d be so embarrassed and so turned on, fuck, Sonny, want you to fuck me like that and know somebody’s getting off on it too, shit, baby, I’m getting so close, harder, harder, please….” you beg, scratching against his scalp helplessly.

“Fuck-shit-crap-hell, sweetheart I’m going as fast as I fucking can, Christ--” Sonny swears, trying to pull you close to him and push you harder against the wall at the same time. You’re going to have bruises on the backs and insides of your thighs tomorrow morning and the thought of Rafa playing with them the next time you see him makes you whine and encourage Sonny to go faster.

“OH MY GOD, SONNY WHAT THE FUCK?!”

The next thing you know Sonny’s cock isn’t in you anymore and you’re on your ass on the floor in front of him, watching as he scrambles to turn away from the door, pull up his pants, and shove the tails of shirt over his crotch at the same time. You have no idea what just happened--you don’t know who’s screeching and you are about to start shouting at him yourself when you look over to see one of Sonny’s older sisters standing in the open doorway of his childhood bedroom with a horrified look on her face.

You quickly pull your skirt as far down your legs as you can before realizing that you’re sitting there in just your bra and that your sweater is definitely out of reach, laying in a pile on Sonny’s bed. You don’t know if your face is red because of the interrupted orgasm or the embarrassment, but you do know you want that door closed so no more people come traipsing in to see this.

“SONNY?!” she screeches again and Sonny finally has the sense to step sort of between you and his sister, angrily hissing,

“Gina, Christ, shut the damn door! What the hell are you doing in here--I swear to fucking God, I’m going to kill you!”

She shuts the door with a ‘snip’ of the latch and continues to stare at the both of you.

“Oh my god, Sonny what are you doing?!”

“If that isn’t fucking obvious Gina, go get your Barbies and I’ll fucking give you a clearer demonstration!” Sonny nearly shouts back, arms waving until his pants start slipping back down and he has to scramble to catch them before he gives his sister even more of a show. She makes a strangled dramatic noise in the back of her throat. “Shut up before the whole goddamned family hears you!”

“Jesus Christ, Dominick, it’s been decades since I’ve seen that much of you and I was kind of hoping to keep it that way!”

“Well then you could have knocked before opening the closed door to my fucking bedroom!”

“Oh my god, oh my god I saw way more of your ass than I needed to ever again.”

“Knocking! You should try it! You wouldn’t have seen my ass if you had!”

“I did! Twice! And I saw a lot more than just your ass alright, I am scarred for life! Oh my god I can’t believe you’re fucking your girlfriend when the whole family is literally right downstairs! Do you have a death wish!? What if mom had come up here!?” You want to crawl around the other side of Sonny’s bed and hide. All the talk of finding it hot to be caught by a stranger has completely left your head now that you’ve found the reality entirely humiliating. With a wince, you notice that your underwear is crumpled on the floor near Sonny’s feet, in full view of Gina.

“Ma would’ve knocked! And wouldn’t have come in unless I said it was okay!” Sonny snaps.

“She learned her lesson about that one, huh?”

“She just has more respect than some people.”

“Respect? Our eighty year old nonna and our priest are downstairs, don’t talk to me about respect you little jerk.” You wince at the reminder and fold your arms a little tighter around your chest. There are already the beginnings of marks across your shoulders and breasts—not to mention the obvious almost raw looking patches where Sonny’s beard has irritated your skin—and you don’t need a snarky comment about them from Gina. The movement makes you wince again, this time at the pain in your hip and backside where you landed with a thud when Sonny dropped you.

You must make a noise because Sonny half-turns towards you.

“Fuck, are you okay sweetheart? I’m so sorry--” he starts before turning back to his sister. “What did you want anyways, Gina?”

“For you to limit yourself to having sex in your own home like a normal person?” Gina hisses indignantly. “So I don’t end up being traumatized?!”

“I swear to god, if you don’t shut up Gina I’m gonna tell ma about the time you had sex with Theresa’s ex boyfriend.” That makes Gina fall abruptly silent and she stands up a little straighter, glaring at her brother.

“You wouldn’t.”

“I would. You can’t tell anyone, Geens, nonna’ll hit me with a wooden spoon and probably make Fr. Mike marry us before we go home.” Gina snorts inelegantly and folds her arms.

“Unlikely. Her daddy hasn’t had time to write her a prenup yet, you’d never get away with it--”

“Enough, Geens,” Sonny says, surprisingly sharply. The look on Gina’s face very clearly tells you that she wants to keep going and you’re relieved that Sonny is standing between you. “Was there something you wanted when you burst in here?”

“Oh, yeah. Ma wants you to do a beer run. She’d ask pops, but he’s busy telling everyone about how he rescued ‘Alec Baldwin’ from an elevator. For the hundredth time.” They share an eyeroll. “Our uncles are all too drunk to drive and so’s everybody else.”

“...That was why you came barging in here? I’m too drunk to drive Gina, and we took an Uber here--I’d have to take someone else’s car. Go tell ma I can’t.”

“Oh no, you can tell ma that you’re too drunk to drive. I’m sure she’d love to hear that straight from you.” Gina smirks, but there’s a fondness to it.

“I’ll be down in a minute, Geens. And not a word to anyone, or I go straight to Theresa and tell her that you and Tommy Fitzpatrick had sex a week after he dumped her,” he threatens and Gina holds her hands up in mock surrender.

“I’d hurry up getting back downstairs. Ma’s already looking for you.”

“Bye, Gina,” Sonny says, closing the door on his sister and sighing deeply. “I’m so sorry about that, are you okay? It sounded like you fell pretty hard.” Sonny extends a hand to help you up, sitting you down on the end of his bed. You shrug, running your hand up and down his leg.

“I’m fine, really. I think my ego took a harder hit than my ass,” you assure him with a smile. He throws himself down next to you and stretches out with a groan. “You need to go talk to your mom?”

He brings his hands up to cover his face and shakes his head.

“Not for a bit. If those idiots have to go without beer for an extra couple of minutes it won’t kill them.”

“You're not really going to go out and get some are you?” He sighs and grunts.

“No, probably not. I’m not as drunk as I was when we came up here but it’d be just my luck that they’ve got a checkpoint set up at the end of the street.” He’s silent for a few seconds and lifts his shoulder vaguely. “Might have to go with one of the younger cousins to buy some though. I think Becca just got her license. She doesn’t drink so she could drive me.”

You scrunch up your nose, trying to place a girl named Becca.

“Which one is she again?”

“Tall, skinny--”

“That’s most of your family.”

“Ha, ha. Blonder than a haystack, lots of pimples? Purple glasses?” You sort of recall a teenager matching that description and shrug it off, lying down next to Sonny and patting his thigh.

“Gonna do something about that hard on before you go talk to your mother?” you tease, running your hand up his leg to ghost over the still unbuttoned crotch of his pants. Sonny doesn’t dodge away from the touch like you expected he would, instead he lifts his hips to meet it and moans softly.

“Fuuuuuck,” he hisses softly. “I’m sorry my sister was kind of a bitch. She doesn’t like surprises.”

“Well she certainly did get one, I guess I can try not to hold it against her,” you reply, stroking a little more firmly over his cock, the hard warm feel of him arousing and familiar against your palm.

“And I’m sorry I dropped you,” he apologizes, eyes squeezed shut, hips trying to chase your hand and hold still at the same time.

“That you definitely are going to have to make up to me. I’m thinking maybe a bubble bath. And then a massage from Rafa while I watch you and Rita give each other head.”

“Christ,” he groans deep in his throat. “I think I can work something like that out.”

You stop stroking him and rest your hand on his cock, only his boxer briefs and jeans separating the definitely leaking head from your hand.

“Your mom?” you ask again and he shakes his head a little too quickly. “Gina’s not going to say anything is she?”

“She can wait. And not if Gina knows what’s good for her. Theresa was humiliated when Tommy broke up with her in front of the entire baseball team, she’d kill Gina if she ever found out they fucked in the back of pop’s old Mustang.” You snort and roll your eyes. God, having siblings sounds exhausting sometimes.

Sonny cracks open a pretty blue eye and watches you carefully as he asks,

“You wanna go back downstairs?” You lift a shoulder uncaringly before glancing significantly down at the very obvious tent in his pants and grinning. “....You still game?”

“Wall or bed?” you ask casually. Sonny sits up quickly and pulls you in for a hard kiss, licking into your mouth with an aborted gasp and holding your face firmly in his big hands.

“God, I love you so much.” He kisses you again, shuffling closer to you and nipping your lips before breaking off and panting, “I just want to make sure that little asshole is really gone.”

“Language,” you reprimand, laughing as he slides off the bed and flips you off, walking over to the door and sticking his head out for a few seconds. He closes it firmly and after a second’s thought drags his desk chair across the room and jams it under the doorknob.

“Um, not that I don’t appreciate the precaution, but why don’t you just lock the door, hon?” you ask, wrinkling your nose at him. Sonny turns back to you and rolls his eyes.

“Because our bedroom doors don’t lock.” You widen your eyes. “Growing up Catholic. Don’t ask. Now, you comin’ over here or am I comin’ back to you?”

“Frankly, as long as we both actually come this time I really don’t fucking care,” you joke, smiling cheekily up at him. He huffs a sharp laugh and puts his hands on his hips.

“You’re just full of it tonight aren’t you? Come on, pick one or I’m pickin’ for you, doll.”

“Well get over here, what are you waiting for? Or am I gonna have to finish this myself?” The words are barely out of your mouth before Sonny is on top of you again, dragging you towards the middle of the bed and covering your body with his. He leans down to kiss you, hips shoving insistently against yours. The wooden frame of the bed squeaks gently and you break away from him to look at one of the bedposts in concern.

“Is that going to be a problem?” you ask doubtfully. Sonny shakes his head and bends down to nibble at your breasts.

“No, it’ll be fine.”

He kisses every inch of skin he can before hitting against the top of your bra, and then bites where he thinks your nipples are through the lace. He guesses pretty well and you arch your hips off the bed, trying to press harder against him, your heart beating fast and your cunt clenching around nothing at the feeling.

“Fuck, please, Sonny come on, we don’t have all night,” you egg him on, reaching to undo the button of his pants and shove them down his hips. He grunts and moves to help you, brushing his shirt out of the way and shoving your legs apart to settle between them.

“God, this is one of my favorite places to be,” he sighs, lining his cock up with your entrance and kissing both your cheeks softly.

“One of your favorite places?” you ask, eyebrow arching.

“Well, it’s tied with having my face between your thighs, yeah. How can you expect me to pick between those?” You roll your eyes and arch your hips again, ignoring the sound the bed makes. Sonny takes the hint and slowly pushes inside of you, trusting that you’re still wet enough from earlier. You are and his cock feels wonderful--long and perfect--filling you up in one smooth slide till there’s nowhere else for him to go. He’s settled on top of you and so deep inside of you that you feel like one fucking person.

“Fuck, oh my god Sonny, how do you feel this amazing every damn time?”

He groans and flicks his hips.

“I could ask you the same fucking thing baby, shit, it’s like you were made to fit around my fucking cock.”

He sets a fast hard pace, clearly determined to come before someone interrupts you again, and while you love it you notice quickly that his childhood bed clearly does not appreciate it nearly as much. The squeaking only seems to get worse until you have to hit his arm and shake your head.

“Sonny. Sonny stop, there is no way someone isn’t going to hear that.” Sonny pulls out of you completely with a curse and sits back on his heels, glaring at the wall with his cock hanging out of his pants, glistening with your slick and his precome. You lick your lips and contemplate just going down on him--he can get you off with his fingers if you need him to. Before you can suggest it he’s reaching over you for both pillows at the head of the bed and throwing them on the floor.

Sonny gets off the bed and holds his hand out for you to take, nodding impatiently when you stare at him.

“Come on, we’re making this fucking work. I am going to crawl out of my fucking skin of I don’t come inside of you in the next three minutes and I need to get back downstairs.”

You take his hand and he helps you off the bed and onto the pillows, kneeling over you and kissing you again as you wrap your legs around his hips. You sigh happily as he rests more of his weight on you than he had originally intended when his socked feet slip on the wood floor.

His cock is back inside of you in under thirty seconds and he’s groaning loudly against your shoulder, hips working again and desperate to finally get off.

“Not gonna fucking last baby, you gonna come like this?” You shake your head, legs squeezing him tightly.

“No, gimme your fingers Sonny, please, please, please…”

He quickly obliges, barely missing a beat as he reaches between you to flick and pinch and press hard against your clit with a couple of his long fingers, grunting at the feel of your cunt fluttering around him.

“Fuck you’re so wet and so warm, shit, baby, I’m going come--” Sonny moans and you swallow a whine as he buries his face in the crook of your neck and bites down on your skin to muffle his moan. You can feel his cock jerk inside of you and he grinds his hips down harder against yours, trying to push himself as deeply inside your cunt as he can.

“Fuck, fuck Sonny, fuck, please--” you beg, not sure for what but he seems to understand, whining sharply into your neck as his fingers keep circling your clit. He thrusts his spent cock a couple more times into you, panting at the wet sound your cunt, now full of his come, makes. You come to that sound and his breath on your neck, choking back a sob and digging your teeth into your lip.

“Sonny, fucking Christ, I love you so much,” you moan, holding him tightly as his cock softens inside of you and your thighs quiver around his sides.

“Love you more,” he argues weakly, nuzzling your neck and smiling.

The two of you lay like that on top of his pillows and the floor of his childhood bedroom for a few minutes before he sighs grumpily.

“I need to go talk to my mom.”

“Sonny really? Could you remove your cock from my cunt before you start talking about your mother?”

He snorts and pinches the inside of your thigh, shuffling backwards on top of you. You both shiver at the feeling of his cock slipping all the way out of you and he sits back and stares hungrily at your cunt, pretty red lips hanging open slightly.

“Fuck I love looking at your cunt like this,” he sighs longingly. “Clenching around nothin’ with my come starting to drip out of you.” Before you have a chance to say anything he presses his thumb into your cunt, helping his come back inside of you.

“Jesus--” you gasp, hands clenching into fists and eyes rolling back into your head. Sonny stretches across the floor to grab your underwear and he slips them up your legs, settling them back into place around you and snapping the waistband with a laugh.

“God, I take it back, I hate you so much,” you tell him with a shudder. He helps you up off the floor and shakes your sweater out before handing it back to you. Once the two of you are redressed and his bed has been remade he takes you by the hand and leads you back down the hallway, pulling you into the bathroom.

It’s small and you can only imagine the fights it caused when the four kids--three of them teenage girls no less--had to share it.

“Figured we should check if we need to fix our hair before we go downstairs,” Sonny says with a chuckle, tugging on a strand of your hair that has worked its way free. It’s a good idea; both of you have messy hair and your mascara has run a little from squeezing your eyes closed so tightly. You fix his as best as you can and you’re playing with your hair, trying to figure out best to manage yours, when Sonny grabs a fold of your skirt, turning the faucet on and splashing water on it.

“What’re you doing?” you ask, jumping when a few stray drops of cold water hit your leg. Nonplussed, Sonny dabs a little more water onto it.

“Giving us an excuse for spending so long upstairs. Something got on your skirt and you needed to clean it off before it stained. Being the good boyfriend I am, I offered to help.”

“Oh. Clever.”

“I have my moments.” When the two of you finally look presentable again, Sonny takes your hand and you warily make your way downstairs. You’re suspicious that Sonny’s threats will not have worked on Gina, and you fully expect a crowd of angry Catholic women to descend on you and start scolding you for leading their precious boy astray.

Instead, hardly anyone seems to notice that the two of you have reappeared. Most of the attention in the family room is on a wailing child sitting near the Christmas tree, tears running down their chubby cheeks and a bloody paper towel held to a skinned knee by a harried looking older woman.

“We’d better go and find my ma--” Sonny says, looking over the heads of his relatives to see if she’s in the concerned circle around the distraught toddler.

“Hey, Casanova.” Bella appears by Sonny’s side and elbows him in the ribs. “You’re pretty brave--don’t you remember what happened when ma found condoms in our room?”

“Can’t imagine how much more pissed she’d be if she’d actually caught any of us in the act,” Theresa adds, linking arms with Bella.

“I’m gonna fucking kill Gina,” Sonny promises through gritted teeth. You clutch his hand a little tighter, not really looking forward to a repeat of Gina’s catty comments about prenups.

“What was I supposed to do, Sonny? Lie to our sisters when they asked me what was so damned funny?” Gina tells him nonchalantly, sauntering up to the group. “Relax, I didn’t tell anyone else.” She completes the little circle of Carisi siblings you seem to have found yourself trapped in.

“You were teenagers when ma found those in your room. I’m almost thirty. And we live together, it’s not like she doesn’t know,” Sonny tries, but Theresa shakes her head.

“It’ll break ma’s heart if she finds out you’re not saving yourself for marriage Sonny.”

“I still don’t know how you convinced her that you did, Theresa. Not when I remember you climbing back into the house through my bedroom window from the time you were fifteen.” Sonny taunts back.

You feel intensely awkward and unnecessary in this sibling banter and you push the sleeves of your sweater up a little just for something to do. You hate feeling like you have to depend on Sonny to stand up for you, but there are three of them and one of you; you’ll take what you can get to even the odds.

“Aw, sorry he dropped you on your ass princess. I hope he didn’t get your pretty sweater dirty,” Bella coos, the movement apparently having attracted her attention.

“Oh, don’t worry, she wasn’t wearing her sweater,” Gina reminds her younger sister, exchanging a meaningful look with her that you don’t know how to interpret. Beside you, Sonny frowns and opens his mouth to say something.

“We’re only teasing, loser, there’s no need to look so pissy,” Theresa interrupts, rolling her eyes at her baby brother. You shift awkwardly, biting the inside of your cheek and trying to decide how to handle this situation. The gleeful look on the other women’s faces settles your dilemma and you stand up a little straighter, arching an eyebrow at them that even Rita would have been proud of, and saying blandly,

“It wouldn’t have been a problem if it did get dirty. The palace dry cleaners are excellent,” you say as evenly as you can, squeezing Sonny’s fingers. He laughs, squeezing back and shaking his head at Bella’s affronted look. It even makes Theresa crack a smile, and you feel oddly proud of yourself.

“You shouldn’t dish it out if you can’t take it, Bells,” Sonny gloats. “Besides, people who aren’t polite to the princess don’t get a couch to crash on when they have an argument with their boyfriend.”

Bella opens her mouth to definitely make this a fight when you hear a throat being loudly and deliberately cleared behind you. All three girls stand up straight, Bella shuts her mouth with a click, and you see Sonny pale a little next to you and start fidgeting.

“This couldn’t possibly be my four beautiful babies, my angels who have never done a thing to disappoint me in their entire lives fighting with each other. During the Christmas season no less,” Angela Carisi remarks, stopping behind you and Sonny.

“Definitely not, ma,” Theresa assures her, elbowing Bella in the side. Gina smiles innocently at their mother and you bite down on a very unladylike snort. Sonny’s middle sister looks like butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth and all you can think of is the string of curses that flew out of her less than an hour ago upstairs.

“I was just going to come looking for you ma,” Sonny says, turning to face her, smiling sweetly down at his mother. “Gina said you needed me to go get beer?”

His mother looks the two of you up and down and you hold your breath as her eyes stop at the wet spot on your skirt. She passes over it after a few seconds and raises a blonde eyebrow at her son.

“Upon further reflection; while you aren’t as drunk as your father, I don't want to be responsible for you being unable to take the bar exam due to a DWI on your record. I sent your cousin across the street to your aunt’s house for more beer.” Sonny shrugs.

“Well, then if you don’t need anything else…” He edges between his sisters at his back and his mother who is still staring at the both of you like she somehow knows that you were up to something, she just can’t put her finger on exactly what. Sonny pulls you along behind him and escapes to the family room, stealing a chair as soon as his brother-in-law gets up. He pulls you onto his lap and sighs in relief when he cranes his head around to watch his mother return to the kitchen and his sisters disperse.

“I don’t know how she does that, I was sure she was going to ask me why I thought it was appropriate to fuck you during the family Christmas party,” he mutters in your ear, settling into the chair and wrapping his warms around your waist.

“Oh my fucking god, so did I. She knows Sonny, somehow she knows.” You try to get comfortable on Sonny’s lap as he pulls his phone out of his pocket. Leaning against his chest you turn your head to watch his dad stand up and start pulling a handful of nearly equally drunk Carisi relatives, and the priest from earlier (somehow still standing upright), in front of the fireplace. You try to adjust yourself on Sonny’s legs, shivering a little as--

“Oh that fucking bastard,” Sonny growls quietly, face turning a bright red as he reads a text.

“Who’s a bastard?” you ask distractedly, shifting around some more and trying not to be obvious about it.

Sonny gives you his phone with a few more muttered curses. It’s his conversation with Rafa and you blush when you see the picture of your underwear, quickly scrolling down to Rafa’s response.

I can’t believe you two are going to get stains all over my present.

You do realize she’s going to have to talk to your family for the rest of the night with your come dripping out of her, right? Good planning, kids.

Rafa has described the exact problem you are having right now and you cough, flushing, and shoving Sonny’s phone back to him quickly. You turn back to face his family attempting to agree on what Christmas song to sing and Sonny awkwardly asks,

“Do you have--”

“Yes, okay, and it feels weird just pooling in there, shut up I hate you,” you snap. His father drunkenly starts yodeling the opening lyrics to “Hark! The Herald Angels Sing” and you feel Sonny start to laugh under you. He does an excellent job being quiet about it but you still elbow him in the stomach.

“Knock it off! This is your fault, you wouldn’t be laughing if it was Rafa’s dripping out of you, mister,” you hiss as his nonna starts heckling the drunken carolers.

Sonny can’t contain his mirth any longer and starts giggling like an idiot, thankfully along with the rest of his family as Fr. Mike veers abruptly into a chorus of “God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen”--oblivious to Dominick Sr. glaring at him and gesticulating wildly for him to stop. Sonny hugs you closer to his body and you wince at the unpleasant feeling between your legs.

“Merry Christmas, sweetheart. I think this party has gone wonderfully.” You allow yourself to be hugged closer and can’t help the smile that flashes across your face as Sonny’s uncle… Diego? Donny? covers the priest’s mouth with one hand and his brother’s with the other so he can sing “Silent Night” uninterrupted. His grandmother is still heckling when you mumble,

“Oh please don’t tempt fate Sonny, the night isn’t over yet.”

Tag List (because I finally fucking remembered to make one!! Lemme know if you want on or off or if I am a jerk and forgot to put you on this thing!):

@sassyada , @dreamlover31 , @prurientpuddlejumper , @thatesqcrush , @storiesofsvu , @madamsnape921 , @melk917 , @ashtheironbat