#Carisi Imagine

[cathrrrine]

Perfect / Love Won’t Die

Dominick “Sonny” Carisi x Reader • Law and Order SVU • Domestic Fluff, AFAB!Reader

Summary: Sonny happily holds the bouquet of flowers he bought for his girlfriend only for her to open the door and start crying. He immediately panics, but soon finds himself amused when she reveals the true reason for her tears. AO3

A/N: I’ve never posted any of my SVU imagines, but I had to with this one :) Happy 2024! My resolution is to post more of my work so I’m digging through all my drafts and posting them lol. Enjoy husband material Carisi <3

In all the six months you had been dating Sonny, there were never many problems that couldn’t be resolved with a simple conversation or a hug and a kiss on the cheek. As far as Sonny was concerned, it was the perfect relationship. He had gotten to know all your little habits; likes and dislikes, pet peeves, niche obsessions. Six months wasn’t exactly a super long time but it wasn’t short either. After only half a year of dating each other, he’d confidently testify that he had fallen in love with you deeply, enough to want to spend the rest of his life with you. He was happy to get married, have babies, grow old together…the whole shebang.

Things were going steady with you. He couldn’t imagine himself being with anybody else, and he was over the moon to know that you felt the samw way. Long late-night conversations about the future the two of you dreamed of revealed that you wanted him to be a part of it as much as he wanted you. Sure, Sonny was aware of how much of a (hopeless) romantic he could be sometimes, but that was in the past, and all of those relationships weren’t with the right people. His sisters had been talking his ear off ever since high school, warning him about women that would only break his heart. It made him wince just to think about all the red flags they ticked off angrily; gold-diggers, manipulators, emotionally unstable women, emotionally unavailable women…and the likes of it. That and their own broken-heart experiences that prompted very fuelled lectures of examples of men Sonny shouldn’t follow always rang in his mind, even until now.

He’d also been made well aware of how right they were about his exes with a bunch of ‘I told you so’s’ and narrowed eyes, but those relationships were in the past and he was much, much younger (and dumber) than he is now. He only had a couple of serious relationships in his adulthood, which ended up not being the right fit for either parties. Then, his love life got buried under the heavy, heavy load of police work and law school and he never found the time to make himself available in the dating pool. He was always too tired, too beat, too mentally drained. It was never a priority.

Then everything came to a stop and his whole world wouldn’t do anything but revolve around you. Sonny was smitten, like a lovesick puppy who got shot by cupid’s nuclear-powered bazooka as fate would have it.

He never felt this way about anyone in his life before, it was a feeling he relished in and was adamant on not letting go.

You were perfect.

Obviously, you had your flaws, but all only human, none of them fatal. Like how you had a habit of ordering too much food but he ends up being the one to finish it up when you realised your eyes had been bigger than your appetite — but he didn’t mind that at all, in fact he secretly loved being able to feast like a King — or how sometimes, you would arrive 10 minutes late to your dates on one of your busiest weeks, which he never complained about because he had his fair share of being unpunctual as well. Plus, you always made it up to him one way or another.

You were absolutely perfect, inside and out. Sonny thanked God everyday for sending a woman as smart, beautiful and kind as you his way. He’s never felt so lucky.

Sonny knew and loved everything about you, down to your weirdest quirks. If there was a Jeopardy! game where the topic was You, he’d be waving around his trophy like a mad man. What you didn’t tell him, he learned. It was the same way you got to know him. The two of you were always honest with each other, trust being the pillar of your relationship, it was why you got along so well. You knew how to make him happy, as he did for you.

So, why is it that you were crying as he handed you a bouquet of your favourite flowers as soon as you opened the door to your apartment?

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?” His sweet smile dropped to a concerned frown, uncomfortable and nervous at your sudden reaction.

There you were in front of him, dressed in your most comfortable pair of pyjama pants and an oversized tee that he was sure once belonged to him, messy hair up that he found extremely adorable. Nothing seemed out of place, except for the fact that…well, you were crying.

He always brought you flowers. Was he late? He glanced at the clock on your wall. No…was it something he said? Something he did? Something…he totally forgot about?

“Nothing- no, everything’s fine, nothing’s wrong.” You sniffed, hugging the fresh bouquet close to your chest, dipping your nose into the floral fragrance to smell it only to find that the tears had triggered an onslaught of snot. That only made you cry more.

The bubble of nerves in Sonny’s chest was bursting at this point, he was almost worried he was having a heart attack. “Doll, you’re crying, something’s wrong.”

He held out an arm to pull you into a hug and you eagerly sunk into his embrace. You buried your face into the fabric of his suit jacket, breathing in what you could of his faded perfume. His calloused hands stroked your hair, softly caressing your head as he cradled it. He gently peeled you off of him to get a better look of your face, now red and eyes puffy from sobbing.

He held your cheeks between his palms and you pouted, looking up at him with sad doe-like eyes, and if that didn’t break his heart that he must not have one because the look on your face was shattering him in every possible way right now. One of his thumbs swiped a fresh tear off your cheek, he felt you nuzzle into his hand.

The tall blond gently led you to your couch and set the flowers down on the coffee table before cuddling up with you close to his chest. You wrapped your arms around him desperately, wanting nothing more than to be absolutely engulfed by everything Sonny — scent, skin and biceps.

“You’re killing me sweetheart, you gotta tell me what’s gotten you all upset like this.” You felt him kiss the top of your head and love bloomed in your chest immediately. “Come on, doll, what’s up?”

You sighed, big and loud, huffing away all the choked up tears with one big breath. “I swear it’s nothing. I’m so stupid.”

He was quiet for a while until you felt his voice vibrate from his chest again, “Was it…me? Did I do something wrong?”

You whipped your head to look at him, only to be greeted with a very worried expression.

Oh, Sonny. Oh, sweet heavenly innocent Sonny. How could you not love this man with every fibre of your being when he’s got that look in his eyes? The one where his pupils are so dilated, you could see your reflection in his big, blue puppy eyes.

How could you have been so careless?! Of course he’d think you were crying because of him, the sweet stupid man — God, you loved him so much. The thought only made you more emotional…and just like that the waterworks came rushing back in.

“Oh, God, Sonny-“ you hiccuped, pulling yourself away from him to put your face in your hands. “I’m so sorry- it’s not your fault at all,”

The lovesick, worried-sick man shot up next to you to pull you into his arms once again, stomach churning at the wave of emotions you were going through. He couldn’t even detective his way through this, his mind going haywire with every sniff that came from you.

“Then what is it?” He tried to keep the panic out of his voice, “Did something happen at work? Is it that asshole again?”

With what he dealt with at his job, it wasn’t out of the question for his mind to be going down that dark path, but he shoved his anger and panic down to focus on your well-being, remaining rational until you were calm.

That made you shoot up to look at him again, words tumbling out of your mouth hurriedly to curb his worries. “No, no! I’m okay, I’m absolutely fine, Todd — that ass — didn’t do anything to me, I promise you, I swear to God. And it’s not you, it’s not anything even remotely related to anything sane at all. I don’t even know why I’m getting all worked up over a bunch of random things, it’s just so—“

“Doll.” Your boyfriend’s voice pulled you out of your rambling. The loving concern that radiated off of him was enough to bring you back to your senses. Gently, he asked again. “What is it?”

You melted immediately, both embarrassed and exhausted from all the sobbing you had been doing. “I’m on my period.”

Oh.

Oh!

“I know, I’m not usually this emotionally affected but my hormones are all over the place and my TV decided to autoplay The Notebook, now I’m a mess.” You sniffed. “I’m so sorry. You shouldn’t have seen me like this, much less deal with me.”

It was only then that the detective noticed the TV screen, paused on Ryan Gosling’s frowning face.

He tried to stifle his amusement, but it came out in a fit of giggles, much to your dismay.

“It’s not funny.” You pouted.

“I just— I thought—“ His laughter consumed him, shoulders shaking as he held up his palms to his face and ran his fingers through his hair, uncaring of how it would mess it up. Sonny leaned back into the couch and continued to laugh with his hands over his face.

“I’m sorry.” Your voice was so quiet it came out like a squeak, ashamed of how you cried like a baby in front of him. Although the two of you spent plenty times over at each other’s places and hanging out with each other, over the six months he knew you, you never had your hormones hit you this hard. It wasn’t uncommon to you, but it wasn’t a regular occurrence either, and it certainly wasn’t an event Sonny had the pleasure of experiencing…until today.

“It’s okay if you’d prefer to be at your own place right now, I totally get it. I won’t be offended in the least, okay? I’ll call you in the morning.” Some men in the past have been weirded out when this happened to you, so you weren’t lying when you said you wouldn’t be offended — it was ‘your fault’ anyway, that was what you had grown accustomed to.

But Sonny, the ever-loving and understanding guy, did not share the same view. Of course not! Raised-with-sisters, loves-his-mother, thoroughly Italian, good-Catholic-man-who-respects-women Sonny, would never in a million years ever even think about being upset with you just because your period messed with your emotions. And that’s why you weren’t sure why you were so surprised when he responded to your offer with a kiss.

This was Sonny. He would never think lowly of you because of something you couldn’t control.

“That’s crazy talk, doll.” He mumbled into the kiss, smiling as he continued to love on your lips. “I’d never leave you alone like this.”

You pulled away a bit to properly look at his face, “Really?”

This was the man your heart belonged to. You don’t know how you didn’t explode when he gave you the most charming smile that ever graced his lips.

“Really.”

Everything you were worried about solved itself into place, like sentient puzzle pieces figuring themselves out with confidence.

“You’re too good for me.”

Unabashedly, you continued to make out with your boyfriend on your couch, a newfound appreciation driving you mad with love.

“I’m only for you, babe. Don’t need anyone or anything else but you.”

———

Now that the two of you were freshened up and settled down with mugs of hot cocoa in your hands, you and Sonny were much more at ease.

There was nothing better to Sonny than to be cuddled up with his girlfriend with her head laying on his chest. You practically clung to the arm draped over your shoulder, making a nest out of his bicep for your face — which reminded him of a koala bear, but he kept that thought to himself. He was so comfortable, so happy that this was his life. His nose pressed against your hair, the scent of your shampoo reminding him of a holiday well-spent together in Mexico. Deja Vu hit him the minute he kissed your head, laughing through his nose when he remembered the events that happened just a few hours prior.

“Hey,” he nudged you with the arm you were glued to. You pulled your focus from the movie you were watching — a comedy, nothing that would make the ‘bloody demon hormones possess me’ as you put it — and raised your eyebrows curiously in response. “I’m just wonderin’…”

“Hmm?”

“Why did you cry when I gave you the flowers?”

You groaned, still somewhat embarrassed at the flurry of emotions you attacked the innocent man with. But you humoured the question anyway, “I opened the door and you were standing there, so handsome and so sickeningly charming, holding up flowers that you brought for me. You should be worried if I didn’t cry.”

“Wow,” he whistled. “I’m really that handsome, huh?”

You playfully hit him in the chest with your fist as you resumed your initial position, “Shut up.” A smirk managed to rip it’s way through your lips. “But mostly, I was crying because I was so sad that the flowers were going to die. I don’t know, just weird how my brain works on my period.”

It was a nonchalant mention, nothing big to you, but it stuck to his mind. Flowers dying made you upset. How precious was that? He catalogued the thought, filing it away for the future. The inkling of humour tempted him, though.

“So, not so much on the handsome part?”

You snorted, “Eh, I’ll give it a 60/40.”

“It should be in the news or something. ‘Guy So Handsome, Makes A Grown Woman Cry’” he gestured in the air as if there was a banner.

“How about, ‘Girl So Hormonal, Makes A Grown Man Cry With Her’?”

“Psh, I didn’t cry.”

“You so were.”

“Was not.”

You laughed, thinking he’d given it up when the sound of the movie began to fade into your hearing again.

“You should come over the precinct, tell the guys how I can make the ladies cry just by showing up at their door.”

He wore that goofy, toothy grin you were so accustomed to whenever he was joking around.

You rolled your eyes. Then decided to mess with him. “Excuse me? Ladies? Plural?”

The grin immediately wiped off of his face. “No- I meant lady, as in singular.”

“Mhmm.”

“I mean— no, that’s not what—“

“Sure, Son.” The monotonous voice you used made him sweat.

“You know you’re the only gal for me! I was just joking…hey, baby, come on, look at me…”

———

Months passed by and relationship milestones came and went. You finally met his family on month eight, and him yours. Month ten, you got a promotion at work and thankfully — not by your doing — Todd left the company. Sonny and the rest of the SVU team made a breakthrough on a case, you met his coworkers you heard so much about for the first time when he brought you along for their celebratory dinner. He was teased relentlessly for ‘keeping such a wonderful woman from us all this time’. You enjoyed the camaraderie that they shared with each other, and felt like you won a prize when they extended it to you.

Time passed by you so fast that you barely noticed it was almost a full year since you and Sonny made it official.

The day of your anniversary, he made reservations for the two of you at a fancy restaurant — Italian, of course. You reminisced the journey of your relationship together over some fine dining and a delightful bottle of wine. The ambiance, mixed with the light-headed feeling from one too many glasses of wine, only made the love you had for Sonny so much more emphasised. It was a dream, to be loved by such an amazing man, to have found your soulmate. If you weren’t at such busy points of your career, you’d literally have his babies right then and there. A couple of mini Sonny’s would do the world good, you pondered. Unbeknownst to you, the subject of your thoughts was thinking the exact same thing, only he was dreaming up a babble of mini You’s instead.

Sonny and you walked home together — he had basically moved into your apartment by now, he was finding it harder and harder to be separated from you at night. Having you next to him made him sleep better, and just generally being around you made him feel better — the two of you never made his move-in an official thing, but there was no need to. It was almost like you shared a telepathic connection. Although, Sonny being Sonny, will make the moving in an official thing whether you needed to or not. Maybe into an actual house, with a backyard and a huge kitchen and a family to raise in to make it a home. One day. Maybe even tomorrow. He’d do anything, anytime with you.

“Got you something, by the way.” He grinned, keys jangling on the doorknob as he swung it open for you.

“Sonny, you didn’t have to.” You blushed. One year together and he still had that effect on you.

“Well, I wanted to.”

While you were taking off your shoes, he used it as a distraction to take it out of the hiding spot he so carefully planned — his height being an advantage to said plan — and waddled over in his socks to where you were sitting on the couch, handing it to you once he was sat as well.

It was a daintily patterned gift bag, not too big and not too small either, with a card attached to it on the front. You carefully removed it to read his words in neat handwriting.

Happy 1 year anniversary, doll. I love you so much. You make me the luckiest man alive. My love for you will never die.

You wanted to cry, so touched by his short but undeniably sweet words. He saw how your bottom lip jutted out, the way it usually did when emotions got the best of you, and smiled to himself with a bit of pride in getting his words right.

Slowly, you pried the top of the bag open, only discovering a plastic dome. “Careful.” Your boyfriend noted.

You wondered what it was, going over all the possibilities in your head as you took it out of the bag; lava lamp, necklace, tiny bottle, lantern…only to gasp when you saw what it really was inside.

A small sphere-shaped cactus with a crown of pink flowers, placed inside a white ceramic pot with the words, ‘My love for you will never die’ engraved in cursive writing around it.

Ahhhh, here come the waterworks.

“Sonny,” your eyebrows scrunched up, lips fully pouting now. “This is the sweetest fucking gift ever.”

Your use of words didn’t go unnoticed by the smiling man, earning you a chuckle out of him. “I remember the time you cried when I brought you flowers, and you told me it was because you were sad ‘bout them dying…it’s cheesy, I know. Corny, a bit. But I thought you’d like it.”

The rising inflection of his voice gave away his nerves, but you were quick to make your appreciation known. “I do, I do! It’s just the most beautiful and thoughtful gift anyone’s ever given me. Thank you, baby. I’m- Aw…“

You choked up and he took that as his cue to pull you into his arms, careful to set the prickly plant down so you wouldn’t accidentally get hurt.

“It’s true though, my love will never die. You’re stuck with me for as long as you want me.”

“You know I’m shit at keeping plants alive, Son!” You couldn’t help the wavering in your voice, “Oh, but this is just so, so sweet. You’re just too cute for your own good.”

“Well, I was cute enough for you to accept the babbling guy who asked you out a year ago.” The giggling that followed made his blue eyes seem brighter.

“Yeah, I couldn’t say no to that face.”

You took the comfortable silence that ensued as a segue to your own offering to him, “Speaking of this cactus being put at the risk of dying, I’m gonna have to appoint someone to remind me it needs water every now and then.”

“I’m assuming that would be me?”

“Yup.” You shifted around to look through your purse. “So, I was thinking…”

Sonny narrowed his eyes at you, “Thinking…?”

You held out your palm and reached out for his, dropping a familiar weight into his hands. As soon as you pulled your hands away, the object revealed itself to be a single silver key with a brown leather strap keychain attached to the ring, ‘Det. Carisi’ engraved on one side and ‘Sonny’ on the other.

He looked up at you, meeting eager eyes that matched his own. You were practically bouncing with giddiness, excited to reach yet another milestone.

“Move in with me? Officially?”

God, you were so perfect.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.”

[x-bluefire-heart-x]

Mr Right

So, anonymous requested this request. And not gonna lie it was hard to write in so far as making Rafael a dick but otherwise I loved writing adoring Carisi caring for pregnant reader.

Warnings: Swearing, threat of violence, angst

Master List

Prompts

You casually walked through the squad room, smiling at your fellow detectives as you made your way to Liv’s office. You paused briefly as you saw them all look at each, their smiles not quite convincing. You shrugged before continuing on, thinking that they were just concerned with how you were handling the baby Drew Incident. Which…fair, you probably weren’t handling it as well as the others, and Rafael hadn’t answered your calls or been at home when you went by his place. The two of you had been dating for around six months and you wanted to check on him and not being able to tell if he was okay was worrying you. You hoped that he had at least talked to Liv which was why you were making a beeline for her office.

“Hey, Liv,” you leaned against her doorway rapping your knuckles against the glass.

“Y/n,” Liv waved you in, you noticed her smile was forced as well and you could see the strain around her eyes. “Come in. I wasn’t expecting you to be in today.”

“Oh?” you asked tilting your head as you stepped through, closing the door before taking a seat in-front of her desk. “Why?”

“I thought maybe you might take some time off or even request a leave of absence,” Liv sounded confused. “Maybe even talk about a transfer once you two had discussed where Rafael was moving to.”

“Moving?” you asked even more confused. “Rafael, is moving?”

“He hasn’t told you?”

“We haven’t talked since his trial, he said he needed some time, and I gave that to him but when I tried to call him or go by his place there was no answer,” you could feel your heart speeding up, as a burning sensation built at the back of your throat. “Rafael talked to you?”

“Yes, he said he had put in his papers and was thinking of leaving,” Liv’s voice turned to steel as she put together the pieces you were still missing but were slowly putting together.

“He…he’s leaving, and he didn’t even tell me,” your voice quivered as your vision became blurred as your eyes filled with tears. “He’s left me.”

“I am so sorry,” Oliva stood up and moved around to you. She wrapped her arms around you holding you close to her as you cried. Your chest felt tight as you tried to get your breathing under control, but it was difficult as the buzzing in your head got louder.

“I can’t believe he wouldn’t even call me,” your voice was soft but measured as the buzzing in your head slowly disappeared. You could feel your body slowly starting to heat, you took in a deep breath before letting it out in a shaky exhale. Anger started to fill your veins, pushing away from Liv you started to pace, your hands running through your hair. “I mean what the fuck?! We were together six months we were even talking about moving in together, getting a place. I-if I ever see him again I…I’ll…fuck!”

“Your anger is understandable,” Liv stood up watching as you paced. “Take the day, more if you need.”

You spun around to face her, your chest heaving as you tried to get control, not wanting lash out at your friend. Just as fast as the rage hit you it was gone as your body sagged as if someone cut your strings. Tears filled your eyes again as you nodded. Liv’s eyes softened as she watched you switch emotions so quickly; she couldn’t believe Rafael wouldn’t even call you. She was going to kill him for hurting you.

“I’ll get Carisis to drive you home,” Liv’s voice was gentle as she reached for you again. “I don’t want you driving like this.”

You just nodded, following her out like a lost puppy. Now you understood the looks the others gave you. They knew. They bloody knew. Great so everyone but you knew that Rafael left you. You braved a look at the others, and was a little surprised. Finn looked murderous; it seems Olivia had enough time to tell them that you had in fact not known that Rafael had left. Amanda looked torn between helping Finn commit a crime and comforting you. Carisi, well, Carisi looked like someone had kicked his dog as he came towards you, his jacket in hand.

“Hey,” his hands started reaching for you but aborted their movement before they dropped to his side. You tried to smile at him but you were sure it came off a little more like a grimace. “Come on, let’s get you home.” Once again you followed after one of your friends like a lost little puppy.

--

It had been over a month since you found out that Rafael had left you like the bastard he was. And your sadness had almost completely been replaced by rage. The others had taken to be careful not to mention his name around you. It wasn’t that you would start frothing at the mouth in rage but rather you would shut down and that apparently made the others uncomfortable. Well, Carisi got more concerned then uncomfortable. He had started bringing in an insane number of baked goods and would also show up at your place with ingredients to cook dinner.

It was probably the best you had eaten in that month, or well ever apparently. Your favourite pants had gotten a little tight, actually, all of your pants had gotten tight. And that didn’t make any sense, because you were throwing up randomly throughout the day, which also tended to coincide with when someone mentioned Rafael. The throwing up just made Carisi even more concerned for you, which had him making you even more food. It was a little vicious cycle. You stared down at your pants that you were currently struggling to do up. You pouted as you tried once again to get the two sides of the pants to come together, your eyes narrowed as they once again did not come close to touching.

“What the fuck?” you whispered frowning as tears started to fill up your eyes, chest heaving as a sob crawled up your throat. “Great now I’m crying. Again.”

Giving up on your pants you fell back onto your bed allowing the sobs to run their course. You couldn’t wait for whatever this was to end. Hopefully, it would be soon. You couldn’t take much more of this. It was ridiculous. It was worse than the ups and downs during your cycle. Wait. You bolted up into a sitting position. Your sobs stopping just as quickly as they started.

“Not possible,” you whispered, grabbing your phone and opening your calendar. The date stared at you, like some big massive joke. “Nope, nope, nope.” And, yep, there are the sobs again. Flopping back onto the bed you threw the phone to the side, covering your face with both hands you sobbed harder. “Maybe if I ignore this, it will go away.”

Your little session was interrupted by a knock on your front door. Groaning you sat up, glaring down at your jeans before aiming the glare in the direction on your front door. The knock came again, dragging out another groan from you as you forced your body up tugging your shirt down as much as you could to cover your undone pants.

“I’m coming,” you called out as the knock sounded again. “Don’t be so god damn impatient.” You yanked open the door, glare firm on your face even as you continued to cry.

“Hey-woah, are you okay?” Carisi stood on the other side, the smile freezing on his face as it morphed into a concerned frown.

“Do I look okay?” you demanded turning away from him and walking back towards your kitchen leaving the door open for Carisi to walk through.

“I mean…no?” Caris seemed unsure if he should answer that question honestly. You huffed reaching to get a glass, Carisi’s eyes zeroed in on your undone pants and the swell of your stomach. His eyes slowly moved up, taking in any other changes he could see. Only to stop when he caught your eyes, your puffy, wet, red eyes that were currently glaring at him.

“Can I help you?” your voice was cold, almost seething, as you set the glass down and tried to tug your shirt back over your pants again. “I am aware that my pants can’t do up at the moment, but that is no reason to look at me with judgy eyes.” You voice broke as the tears started falling again. “And fucking hell, can I stop crying for five minutes please?!”

“Trust me I was not looking at you with “judgy” eyes,” Carisi promised, arms twitching as he resisted the urge to hug you. “I was concerned. And I think I may know what is going on.”

“Of fuck off, with your knowledge because you have sisters,” you cursed. “I am not…I can’t be…pregnant.” Your voice was so quiet he almost didn’t hear you but it broke his heart. You sounded so scared.

“You’ve been throwing up a lot, and your body has changed,” Carisis thought better of using the phrase “gained weight”, his sister did not appreciate it one bit. “Not to mention how you’re switching between emotions really fast. It might be a good idea to take a test. Just to be sure.”

You looked up at him, all the anger fading from your face as you heard someone else voicing the thoughts that ran through your head once you realised it had been nearly two months since your last period. Shaking your head, you closed the distance between the two of you and fell against his chest. Carisi was always an affectionate person with his friends and right now you needed his hugs and you knew he wasn’t going to offer, not after the last time. Where you may have bitten his head off. Which you now at least had a theory as to why you reacted the way you did. Even if you really didn’t want to entertain the idea, you knew taking a test would be the smart thing to do.

“Can…I mean, will you be here, when I take it?” you asked in a tone so close to broken that Carisi wanted to hunt Rafael down.

“Of course I will,” Carisi soothed, running his hand up and down your back. “I’ll go out and get a test. You stay here, want me to maybe also get you some different pants?”

“Yes,” you nodded, hiccupping as you refused to let him go. “But just...stay here for a moment.”

“I won’t leave until you want me to,” Carisi promised, arms holding you tight to him.

“You promise?” you couldn’t help but ask him. You couldn’t help but fear that one day everyone you cared about would decide to leave you, with absolutely no warning. “You won’t leave?”

“Never,” Carisi pressed a kiss to the top of your head, heart finally shattering. It was then that swore to himself that he would do everything in his power to help you believe he wouldn’t leave, that there were people in your life who cared about you and would never leave you. It doesn’t matter what it will take, or long it will take until you believed him.

--

“You have to come out of the bathroom eventually,” Carisi called knocking against the door. “It’s been long enough, what does the test say?”

“I think the fact that I am in here having what is most definitely a panic attack should answer that!” you tried to sound angry but the sobbing and fear in your voice did not help.

“A panic-I’m coming in,” Carisi frowned, opening the door he found you sitting on the floor against the bath tub, the test in your hands. At the look on your face, he once again found himself wanting to hunt down a man he once considered a friend. You were so pale, your chest heaving as your breath came out in rough pants, your eyes looked unfocused.

“Oh, darling.” He couldn’t help the pet name as he kneeled beside you, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you against his chest. His other hand carefully took the test out of your shaking hands, noting the positive result before setting it aside so he could rub your arm in comfort.

“What am I going to do?” you asked, voice shaking. “I can’t, I’m pregnant.”

“It’ll be okay,” Carisi whispered.

“How?! How the hell is this going to be okay?” you demanded pulling back from him, eyes blazing, panic seeming to fade as the anger at your situation hit you full force. “I’m pregnant, and the bastard of a father left without even so much as a good bye! I can’t do this.”

“Yes, you can,” Carisi assured you. “You are so insanely strong, not to mention brave. You would be an amazing mother. Whatever decision you choose I will support you.”

“You will? Why?” you asked confused.

“You’re my friend and I care about you,” he answered, voice firm.

“Regardless of my decision?” you wanted to confirm, knowing that Carisi had his faith. “Even if I decide I don’t want to keep the baby?”

“Yes, it is your decision,” Carisi nodded. “But, again, regardless, I will support you through it. Now come on we need to get off this cold floor and you need to eat something.”

“Carisi, I can’t,” you whined, mood switching again. “My pants don’t fit.”

“I got you new ones remember?” he gently pulled you up off the floor, pulling out a handkerchief and wiped away the tears that had started to fall down your cheeks again as your rage ebbed away at the thought that your pants don’t fit.

“Oh, right,” you bit your lip as your eyes drifted up to Carisi’s face, taking in his features as he wiped away your tears. “Thank you.”

“Any time,” he smiled tapping you on the nose. “I also got some ingredients for a pasta dish.”

“Ooh, can we have that garlic bread you made the other week?” you asked brightening. Carisi’s food always made you happy, even if at first you thought it was making you gain weight.

“Yes, of course I got ingredients to make that garlic bread,” Carisi couldn’t help but laugh at not just your quick change in emotion, he was use to that, he thought it was adorable you got so excited about his food.

--

Amanda, Liv and Finn all stood around staring. Watching as Carisi handed you a container with what looked like homemade food, and he then placed a bottle of something on your desk.

“You need to remember to be taking your vitamins,” they heard him scolding you. “The Dr said your levels were low.”

“…they tasted funny,” you pouted, hand settling a little on your stomach that had started showing.

“I know that is why I went and got some different ones, apparently they taste like orange, which I know if something you are currently craving,”

“Is Carisi smiling differently?” Amanda asked, head tilted to the side.

“Yeah, he looks like y/n hung the moon,” Finn huffed.

“It’s kind of adorable,” Amanda muttered.

“She looks happy,” Liv smiled softly. She was glad to see it, you hadn’t looked so happy in months. And she was worried about what being pregnant with Rafael’s baby would do, but apparently Carisi had it all under control.

“Carisi, never brought me home made food when I was pregnant,” Amanda complained.

“That’s cause he wasn’t in love with you,” Finn chuckled as he walked away leaving the other two to watch Carisi moon over you. It was sickeningly adorable and for Carisi’s sake Finn hoped nothing went horribly wrong between the two of you. Finn would hate to have to add a list to the names of those he would shoot on sight. It currently had one.

--

You pouted. And pouted some more. Staring up at the poor man through your lashes. Said man was trying, rather admirable, to ignore you, blue eyes looking anywhere but at you. Your eyes narrowed as you stepped closer to him, puffing out your cheeks.

“Please?” you asked.

“No,” Carisi sighed, rubbing his forehead.

“Carisi,” you whined. “Please.”

“It’s nearly midnight, I am not going out to get you ice cream,”

“But I want pickles and ice cream,” you huffed. “And we only have pickles and no ice cream…oh and sprinkles! With peanut butter, that sounds sooo good. Doesn’t that sound yummy?”

“Sure,” Carisi laughed, this was the fourth time in two days that you had started out wanting something only to find several things to add to it.

“So, you’ll get the stuff?” you bounced lightly on your feet, hands moving to hold your stomach. You were entering your second trimester, and the cravings were only getting stronger.

“Fine, but you are coming with me,” Carisi tapped you on the nose, grinning when you scrunched it up.

“Good idea!” you nodded. “We can get pizza as well.”

“Pizza?” Carisi asked, face scrunching in confusion as he led you out of your apartment. You nodded, grabbing his hand without thinking and tugging him along.

“Yes, now come on.”

--

You weren’t entirely sure when your feelings for Carisi changed from friendship to wanting to always be around him. On the odd night when he wasn’t at yours you missed him, when he went out into the field and you were stuck at the desk doing paperwork, you missed him. And also worried about him an insane amount. You weren’t sure what you wanted to do with this change but you were happy to let things happen when they happened. And you didn’t wanna read into too much but he had been spending more time with you lately, it was very rare that he wasn’t over at yours or you weren’t over at his.  Like right now, the two of you had just finished an amazing dinner that Carisi had made you, and were now watching tv. You had curled up against him resting your head against his chest as his arm wrapped around your waist. You felt content in a way you hadn’t for the longest of times, and you didn’t want anything to change.

Just as you were reaching for the popcorn, your separate bowl that was drizzled with salt, sugar, caramel and chocolate, you felt a pressure in your stomach. You gasped sitting up hand pressed against your stomach.

“What’s wrong?” Caris moved with you, the arm wrapped around your waist tugging you to his side as his eyes moved between your face and your stomach, his other hand hovering over yours. “Are you in pain?”

“No, that’s not it,” you shook your head. “Oh, oh!” you grabbed his hovering hand and placed it where yours was. “The baby is moving.”

Carisi’s whole body felt warm as he felt the light pressure against his hand. His chin came to rest on your shoulder as he looked down at your stomach where your hands were joined together. He tried so hard to ignore the feelings that were building the longer he was around you, this wasn’t suppose to be anything more than a friend helping a friend but the more he watched you bounce happily when you ate his food. Or every time you looked at him with those soft eyes, pouting at him to get your way. It was near impossible to do anything but fall for you. That small little crush of his that had started when he joined the team, that he tried to ignore when he saw you liked Rafael, came back full force about two months into helping you.

“Look at that,” he whispered, his voice directly in your ear causing a small shiver to run through your body.

“Our baby has a strong kick huh?” you asked turning your head a little, nose rubbing against his cheek.

“Our baby?” Carisi felt his brain screech to a holt. You jolted, eyes wide as your own words repeated themselves through your head. Echoing a little in Carisi’s head as well.

“What?”

“You called the baby, ours,” Carisi moved his chin from your shoulder so he could look at you properly, trying hard to keep the smile from his face but there was no way to keep those blue eyes of his from shinning.

“I guess I did,” you nodded slowly licking your lips, suddenly finding it difficult to look at those eyes.

“Did you mean it?”

“I…I did,” you nibbled on your bottom lip, stomach fluttering. “I mean, you’ve taken me to every appointment, you’ve gone with me when I needed to get new clothes, you put up with every little craving I have and…you’re always here for me. Just like you said.” Your hand shook as it rose to cradle his face, thumb stroking just under his eye.

“Darling,” Carisi lent into your hand, those eyes burning bright with hope. “Can I kiss you?”

“You better,” you demanded leaning close to him.

“Gladly,” Carisi chuckled as he closed the distance between the two of you.

The feel of his lips brushing yours made your heart quicken, your hand cupping his cheek moved to cup his jaw as you angled your head, moving your lips against his. His hand on your waist stroked up to hold the back of your head, lightly tangling with your hair and tugging it gently as his tongue swiped out teasingly. You gasped into the kiss when you felt a slightly stronger kick, pulling away from the kiss you looked down where Carisi was stroking your stomach.

“Someone’s a little excited,” you smiled, pressing a kiss against his cheek before leaning back and putting both hands against your stomach. “Do, you wanna stay the night?”

--

“I want this baby out,” you groaned lowering yourself onto the couch next to Carisi holding your shoes in your hand. “I can’t put my shoes on.”

“Give em here,” Carisi rolled his eyes grabbing your shoes and kneeling in-front of you. “It won’t be long now before you give birth.”

“Thank fuck,” you rubbed your stomach giggling at Carisi when he raised an eyebrow at your comment. “Hey, you try growing a baby in you, carrying it for nine months, getting cankles, craving the oddest combination of food ever, having your body change in ways you never even thought about, your back constantly hurting, and finally needing to pee every five minutes.”

“Fair enough,” he focused on putting your shoes on, knowing already not to comment on anything that you just said. Last time he did, you cried. Although when you were crying about having cankles and he tried to be supportive you threw a pillow at him. So really, it was a fifty-fifty how you would respond.

“Come on, let’s go,” you held out your hands making grabbing motions at him.

“Alright, up you come,” Carisi grabbed hold of you and helped you up. You grinned up at him and took a step just before a sharp pain radiated from your stomach. You gabbed hold of it wincing in pain. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m totally fine,” you waved him off. “It’s just my stomach trying to kill me, been happening on and off for like the day.”

“Wait, you said your back was hurting?”

“Yeah so, I’m carrying around a watermelon,”

“Normally, constant back pain can be a sign that you are going into labour,” Carisi said. “And you are getting cramps?”

“Well, I’ve gone nearly two decades with getting cramps and while those where definitely painful these are something much different and are coming closer and closer together,”

“Um, honey,” Carisi started. “I think you might be in labour.”

“What like three weeks early? Pfft, unlikely, my family has a history of being like either exactly nine months or like two weeks late,” you shrugged just as your felt a gush of something wet leaving you. “On the other hand, I think you might be right…my water just broke.”

“Oh shit!” Carisi started to panic. “We don’t have your hospital bag ready and we don’t have our route to the hospital!”

“Dominick!” you shouted lightly tapping him on the cheek. “It’ll be fine. Let’s just go, we can always ask one of the others to get me some things.”

“Right, right,” he nodded. “Let’s go.” His arm automatically wrapping around your lower back to help support you as he offered his other arm for you to take as he led you carefully to the car.

--

“Dom, look it’s our daughter,” you whispered breathlessly staring down in wonder at the beautiful little girl in your arms. You had been worried that she would noticeably look like Rafael but thankfully your baby girl had inherited nearly everything from you, and you hoped that it stayed that way. But it truly didn’t matter. Carisi was her father in every way that counted, and every way that mattered.

“She’s gorgeous,” Carisi’s breathed, eyes wetting with tears as he carefully reached out and gently stroked her cheek. “Just like her mother.” You rolled your eyes but couldn’t wipe the smile from your face. Your eyes drifted to the bag that Olivia had brought in for you, when she came in to say hello to your beautiful baby girl, and leaving with a wink.

“Sweetie, can you get something from my bag? It should be right on top,” you nodded towards it, breaking Carisi’s little mutterings that he was making towards your daughter.

“Oh, sure yeah,” he nodded distractedly. You grinned down at your daughter in secret, leaning to press a kiss to her soft little forehead.

“I’ve got a little surprise for your daddy,” you told her.

“Um, babe, is this? Is this what I think it is?” Carisi turned around holding a ring box in his hand, the lid opened to reveal a man’s ring. The band a gorgeous mixture of black, gold and silver intertwining with a hint of blue.

“Dominick Sonny Carisi, you have been my rock for the past near nine months, bringing so much happiness and light into my life,” you started, feeling yourself getting choked up. You blinked furiously. “I fell for you without even noticing. You are the father of my daughter, and without a doubt you are the love of my life. We’re already a family but I think we should make it official. Will you marry me?”

Carisi’s mouth was open, his eyes welling up with my tears as he stared at you, sitting there in the hospital bed holding his daughter. Looking more radiate than he had ever seen you. And all he could do was nod silently and take the ring out of the box and put it on his finger.

[megalony]

Main Masterlist

As my other masterlist is rather old and made on an old template, I decided to create an updated one with the main fandoms I'm open to writing for.

This is mainly just so it is easier for me and to keep everything neat and in order.

Evan Buckley Masterlist (911)

Eddie Diaz Masterlist (911)

Twisters:

Tyler Owens:

Just Hold On

Top Gun: Maverick:

Jake Seresin (Hangman):

Don't Worry Darlin'

You Called My Wife?

Wait And See

They Call Me Hangman

Divergent:

Tobias Eaton (Four):

Fight To Kill

Sealed Their Fates

Gladiator II:

General Marcus Acacius:

Aiming For Her

Joseph Quinn:

Emperor Geta:

Near Death Experience

Valuable To The Emperor

A Hindrance

Maimed My Wife

Like A Flower

No One But You

Cast Under This Spell

I Don't Like This

Secure The Succession

Merciless Wrath Part 2 Part 3

Heir To Rome Part 2

Undo What's Done Part 2

Stranger Things:

Eddie Munson:

Learn The Signs

You, Me and Them

Somewhere Safe

Bring Her Back

A Quiet Place: Day One:

Eric:

Horrors To Overcome

Silence Is Golden

Safety And Sanctuary

Hoard:

Michael:

I'm So Cold

Wrongful Touches

X-Men:

Charles Xavier:

Use Your Voice

Extinguishing Flames

Henry Cavill:

Collateral

Everything Will Be Alright

Like father, Like son (Series masterlist)

His Queen

My Hero (Series masterlist)

That’s my son

Look at us (Series masterlist)

Painless (Series masterlist)

A man named uncle (Series)

Jonah Hauer-King:

Finally Coming True

A Touch of Blue

Talk to Me

We’re Occupied

What Do I Do     Part 2

I Know The Solution

Hidden Truths   Part 2   Part 3

Bound To Her

Worst Nightmare

Don’t Leave Me

It's Happening

Dark! Jonah:

Oh Dear

Twisted Lover 

Pretty Little Thing

Chris Evans:

The Evans boys (series)

Little one

Sleepwalker

Soft Spot (Series)

Part 2

Law and Order SVU:

Nick Amaro:

Help A Girl Out

Leave Her Out Of This

You Are Home

Bed Rest

Little Flirt

Who's Getting Married

Rafael Barba:

Courtroom Chaos

Safe in my arms

My counsellor, my lover

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Reliving the dream   (Series)

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Dominic (Sonny) Carisi:

Hostage

Stay with me

Purple

Abandoned

Close call

An eventful night

Elliot Stabler:

Baby boy

Screaming

His Little Surprise

Special Victim

[teddykisser]

Protective & Possessive

Part 2 to Our Little Family

Beautiful Things

Captain Olivia Benson x Pregnant Female Reader

Warnings: Pregnancy, Kissing, Fluff, Mean Remarks, Secret Pregnancy, Protective Rolline, Posessive Reader, Massage, Dead Bodies, Suggestive Themes, Horny Reader, Brief D/S Dynamic Mention, Slight Smut Towards End.

You were back at work the next day. Your lunch break spent in Olivia's office. You rested your hands on your stomach, in awe that there was really a baby in there.

Olivia sat at her desk, admiring you. A soft smile was present on her face as you touched your stomach. Olivia herself was still in shock that you were pregnant.

She gently turned your head back up to meet hers, giving you a sweet kiss before pulling away and looking at you. "Are you sure you're okay?" She asked softly, still holding your waist.

Her gaze fell onto you.

"Mhm, better get back out there.." You nodded, beginning to detach yourself from her arms.

"I'll see you later, sweetheart. Let me know if you need anything." Olivia added.

You closed the door behind you as you watched Rollins return from her break.

"Hi Y/N" She smiled, sitting at her desk.

"Hey Manda, what's new?" You spoke, brushing a strand of hair out of your face.

"There's been a break in the case" Munch interrupted.

As Munch briefed the team, Olivia focused on the work in front of her. She was only half paying attention to what was going on. She was still thinking about earlier, thinking about you being pregnant with her child. The thought alone filled her with warmth. She knew this would be something she'd be thinking about for the rest of the day.

The case required the team to go into the field. Olivia grabbed her coat and bag to follow everyone else into action. The case wasn't too bad, thankfully. She walked with the team, making sure to keep an eye on you throughout. She couldn't help but be a bit protective, especially knowing that you were now carrying a baby, her baby.

There was a dead body that had been dead for a few days so it had a rancid smell. You tried to resist gagging and keep your composure. This action didn't go unnoticed by Liv.

She saw your expression as you saw the body and inched closer to you. Olivia placed her hand on your back, rubbing it gently. "You okay, dear?" She asked. She didn't want you to be too stressed, especially now. She was a bit concerned for your health.

"Y-Yeah.. it's just the s-smell" You admitted, whispering in her ear. You didn't want the rest of the team to know the news just yet. Didn't wanna jinx it.

Olivia nodded and kept a hand on your back, gently rubbing circles with her thumb, trying to comfort you. "Oh. My love.. It's going to be alright. Just breathe for me, okay?" She knew the next few months wouldn't be easy for you but it will be so worth it.

"You alright, Y/N? It's not your first dead body, is it?" Munch remarked, his eyes judging you.

Olivia looked up, her eyes glared at the other detective. This wasn't the time or place for jokes. She moved her hand from your back, instead putting it on your stomach, rubbing it softly. "It's alright," she reassured you, ignoring the other detective's comment.

"You know she's one of the younger agents leave her alone" Rollins spoke, referring to your age. Rollins was very motherly to you, and protective of you so she came to your rescue.

"Thank you, Amanda" Olivia turned to Rollins, giving her a nod. She hated when her teammates made comments that were just insensitive. She knew they didn't mean to be rude, but now was certainly not the time. The captain kept her hand on your stomach, rubbing it gently.

"In public?" You mouthed, refering to Liv's hand caressing your stomach. You didn't want your team to find out and this was a dead giveaway.

Olivia knew what you meant. She couldn't help but feel a bit protective and wanted everyone to know, but she also wasn't quite ready for anyone to know yet. She knew it would only be a matter of time before someone put the pieces together. "You're doing so well, don't worry about the others." She whispered, trying to reassure you.

༘˚⋆𐙚｡⋆𖦹.✧˚

The team had returned back to the office, wrapping up the case. You were in Olivia's office, relaxing. The team knew of your relationship with the captain but they didn't know that you two were trying to have a child.

Olivia's hovered behind you, her hands working the knots in your shoulder. "You're so tense, my love.." Olivia spoke softly.

You closed your eyes, lending your hand back slightly. A quiet groan escaped from your lips.

"That's it baby, let it all out" Olivia encouraged. Her lips ghosted your neck.

"You're such a good girl, my best girl" She praised.

You stood up, backing Liv against the wall. Your gaze darkened, you bit your lip as your hand found it's way around her neck.

"Shh.. Gotta keep quiet Captain.." You smirked, you sucked on the skin on her neck, taking it between your teeth.

"Mine" You whimpered against her.

Olivia couldn't lie, she was turned on by your possessiveness, and slightly curious of where it came from. She wasn't complaining though.

"B-baby.. we're a-at work" She reminded you, trying to keep her composure and not submit to you. She didn't want to give up her power but God you felt so good against her.

"Mmm.. don't you want this Liv.." Yiu mumbled against her, your other hand snaked down to her stomach, resting just below her pants.

"We're still at work, we'll have time for this later." Olivia added gently, pulling your face away from her neck.

"Benson! Y/L/N!" A voice exclaimed from the briefing room.

Olivia jumped, pulling away from you. She straightened her shirt and ran a hand through her hair to mess it around a bit so there wasn't as much evidence of what had just happened.

[noellawrites]

Belly of the Beast - Sonny Carisi x reader

summary: Reader has been hooking up with Sonny and gets kidnapped by William Lewis, who is determined to get them pregnant against their will. Reader does eventually become pregnant and is unsure of the paternity of the baby.

AFAB reader but no specific pronouns used.

warnings: rape, abduction, torture, pregnancy, discussion of abortion, canon-typical violence

The night before you were taken was completely normal. No alarm bells ringing in your brain, no voice telling you not to go into work the following day. You were spending the night with your co-worker, Sonny Carisi, and having amazing sex as usual. It was the kind of intimate intercourse that was normal with him, making you feel so special and loved.

As detectives in the same Manhattan SVU squad, you had to keep your companionship a secret. You both loved your jobs and you knew it could cause trouble if anyone found out. Besides, Sonny was brand new to the squad, and you knew Liv would transfer one of you in a heartbeat if she found out.

It happened so fast. One moment you were grabbing a cup from the cabinet in your apartment, the next moment a gun was being held to your head.

“N-no, please—“ you gasp, mind racing. You were wearing your holster, but your gun was still locked in your safe. You weren’t thinking this morning. Your mind was scattered from last night’s events, and it was about to massively screw you over.

“Gotta say I’m offended, sweet cheeks. No warm welcome for an old friend?” William Lewis says with a sinister smile, “I just knew I had to come back for you, such a sweet young thing. Couldn’t stop thinking about what I wanted to do to you, to Olivia Benson’s protégée. Hit you both where it hurts.”

His sentence is punctuated with a swift slam of the gun to the side of your head, knocking you out cold on your kitchen floor.

—

The first thing you notice after regaining consciousness are the handcuffs attaching your hands to the pipes on the wall and binding your feet together.

The room you were in was bare except for the pipes, the cuffs and you. It looked to be a utility closet with no windows, only a lone lightbulb above you with a string attached.

Duct tape covered your mouth, leaving you unable to scream. You thrashed around, tugging on your cuffs, hoping someone might hear.

Your eyes darted around the room. Were you still in Manhattan? Were you even in New York anymore? You had no idea what time it was or even what day. Your squad had to be looking for you by now, after you didn’t show up at work.

You didn’t have to guess for long, because the door swung open to reveal William Lewis, smiling down at you.

“God, you’re even cuter than I remember. Knew I needed you right away,” he sighs, stepping inside and closing the door behind you.

“You scream, I shoot,” he says, hand moving to his side as he pulls out a gun and fixes it on you.

He leans over, tearing the duct tape off your mouth along with some of your skin.

“Gotta say, I’m pretty hurt. Detective Amaro leaves, new guy comes in and you start hooking up with him?” Lewis sighs, shaking his head.

“What do you want from me?” you huff, tugging on your handcuffs again.

“This time, I’m taking what’s mine,” he smirks, “I’ve got a bed set up for us. Thought of you with all the other holes I fucked, and I knew I had to get my hands on you myself.”

“What, you mean all the women and children you raped, beat and killed?” you snap, writhing around as he un-cuffs you from the pipes and then re-cuffs you.

“Don’t worry, I’ll give you the royal treatment. I’ve got something special for you, little one. You might’ve started out as Benson’s protégée, but you’ll end up carrying mine,” he laughs.

Your blood runs cold at his words, knowing he must be planning on raping you. You wracked your brain for all the delaying tactics that Olivia’s taught you, and everything she’s told you about Lewis’ temper.

Lewis leans over and pulls you up, grabbing his gun with the other hand and fixing it on you.

“You’re insane, you know that? I’m not letting you do this,” you grunt.

Lewis yanks the door open and pushes you out, hand holding onto your cuffed ones. You look around what appears to be an abandoned warehouse for a few seconds before you are pushed down onto a dirty mattress.

“Olivia wasn’t enough of a thrill, so you just had to come for me, is that it? What about Amanda, is she next?” you challenge.

“Olivia is boring and Amanda’s all used up,” he laughs, “you, however, are perfect for this.”

“What are you gonna do to me?” you hiss as Lewis turns you over, pinning your hands under your back.

“This sweet little womb is going to carry the next rapist, the next little life-ruiner,” Lewis says, fingers tracing over your lower stomach, “first, he’ll rip out of you, ruining your body forever. And then he’ll follow in his daddy’s footsteps when he grows up.”

“What makes you so sure you’ll get me pregnant? And that it’ll be a boy?” you huff.

Each word that came out of William Lewis’ mouth made you even more terrified, your mind racing to rescue yourself from this situation.

“I’m more than just a pretty face, Detective (y/l/n). Right now is your most fertile time, according to the chart you keep in your desk. And we both know you’re too sappy and weak to get an abortion,” he laughs, shaking his head at you. So weak, so pathetic. An SVU Detective who couldn’t even save themself from becoming a victim.

“That’s— you have no idea what you’re talking about,” you gasp, thrashing around.

“Now you’re gonna make this hard on me? Fine,” he sighs, grabbing a bottle of alcohol from beside the mattress and unscrewing the cap, “drink up, baby.”

—

Over the next few days, you were out of your mind. If you weren’t passed out or asleep, you were drunk or high at Lewis’ force, shoving edibles down your throat and washing them down with bottles of cheap vodka.

Your throat burned, stung red with pain, and your body was dirty and disgusting. As if the drugs weren’t enough, Lewis was getting off on burning and scarring you, too. Lighters, cigarettes and metal objects were on rotation across your skin.

The worst was the rape, for which you preferred to be unconscious for. At least if you weren’t mentally there, you weren’t being traumatized again.

After the first few times, you knew you would never get a good night of sleep, never have a calm moment, never become intimate without feeling what you felt when William Lewis forced himself inside you, fucking at a brutal pace, spitting and screaming and grunting horrible things as he used and abused your body for his own pleasure.

He came inside of you as much as he physically could, getting off on mocking you for becoming his rape victim and eventually the carrier of his monstrous offspring.

After a few days, he figured SVU would be catching onto him, ever loyal to their own. He couldn’t risk moving you so he cuffed you back to the pipes, kissed your lips and disappeared. William Lewis had his fun with you, but he needed to keep moving if he was to avoid arrest.

You hadn’t been fed the entire time, barely given any water and mostly having had drugs and alcohol forced down your throat. You didn’t hear anything as SVU busted in, Olivia and Sonny leading ahead as they sprinted towards your weak figure.

“(Y/n)? Oh fuck— oh ma’ god—“ Sonny’s voice breaks, looking up at Olivia with tears in his eyes.

Liv pulls out her radio, immediately ordering a bus for an officer down.

“Baby, c’mon, it’s Sonny. ‘M right here—,” he coos, taking off his jacket and laying it over you to give you some privacy. You were fully naked and chained up, blood and burn marks everywhere. It didn’t take a genius to understand what had happened.

“Mmmph—“ you mumble as he unlocks the cuffs with the standard key used by NYPD.

“Ah know ‘ya can hear me, jus’ hold on. We’re gettin’ a bus, okay?” he sniffles, hand on your arm. Sonny wished more than anything that he could take your pain and make it his.

Sonny scrambled to grab a water bottle before Liv stuck her hand out, keeping him back.

“I know you want to help, Carisi, but the inside of their mouth could have DNA evidence,” Liv says with a pinched expression.

“I’m gonna fuckin’ kill whoeva’ did this,” Sonny growls, looking around as his blood boils. You had only been gone for three days, but it had felt like an eternity. Sonny had never been so afraid in his entire life.

—

If you ever had any question of what you and Sonny were to each other, it was answered in the days following your attack. Sonny spent a week and a half straight with you in your apartment, doing anything you needed. He bathed you, cooked for you, gave you space if you needed and held you when you woke up shaking or crying from a nightmare.

You returned to work a month later, even though Liv wanted you to take a longer break. She kept a close eye on you, having gone through multiple horrific William Lewis experiences herself, although none included rape itself.

A week into your return, Olivia pulled you into her office and gave you the grim update that there were basically no updates. Very much unlike him, Lewis had disappeared or gone into hiding. And Liv had one request for you: she wanted you to take a pregnancy test.

You laughed, taken aback at the absurd notion. Sure, you hadn’t had your period yet, but it wasn’t uncommon for survivors of extreme trauma. But Liv wanted to be sure, as Lewis’ mission with you was to force you to carry his offspring.

“I-I think the worst part is—“ you gulp, “he was right. I don’t have the balls to get an abortion. I’ve always wanted a baby, and I just— god, Liv, if I’m pregnant by my rapist, I have no idea what I’ll do.”

“And what about you and Carisi?” she asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Me… and Carisi?”

“(Y/n), I’m not blind,” she smiles softly.

“We haven’t— you know, since the assault. I just can’t. But that would be even worse, I mean, I know Sonny would stick around. Both of us together, raising Lewis’ baby? A-and with the threat of him coming back and wanting custody? It’s just too much. I would put that poor baby up for adoption,” you sigh.

“Take the test and we’ll figure things out from there, Detective (y/l/n). I’ll be here for you every step of the way,” Olivia promises.

You both stand up and she gives you a hug, noticing how your body trembles. She had a hunch you’d been like that since the assault, and she couldn’t blame you. She’d be lying if she said Lewis didn’t haunt her dreams sometimes, too.

You took the test in your apartment, alone. Sonny’s shift ended two hours after yours, which gave you enough time to grab some tests from the bodega and take them with your fingers crossed praying to not be pregnant.

You still had flashbacks to those moments, the ugly ones where you were drunk or high and still awake with Lewis on top of you. You saw his repulsive smile every time you closed your eyes, hearing him babble about knocking you up and wrecking your life even more.

Your job was everything to you and you loved helping people, but you had never fully understood how it felt to be a sex crimes victim until it happened to you. Until your power was stripped away, every piece of your humanity torn to shreds. You never knew what it felt to want to burn your body, to destroy the evidence, to put an end to the agony plaguing you day in and day out.

You never wanted to die as much as when you flipped over those tests, seeing the plus signs and knowing you were giving William Lewis exactly what he wanted.

After a few days of moping, Sonny sat you up in bed and reminded you of the small, but still possible, chance that it could be his baby. You hadn’t used a condom with Sonny on the night before your abduction, though you usually did.

“Baby, jus’ get it checked. If it’s ours—“

“And what if it’s not, Sonny? You really want to raise a baby conceived with my rapist?” you cry, burying your head in your hands.

“Wouldn’t want t’give Lewis the satisfaction of lettin’ him raise it himself, doll. ‘N it’s still gonna be ‘ya baby, have ‘ya DNA either way,” Sonny reminds you, stroking your arm softly and gently.

“I-I’ll go in for a fetal DNA test,” you agree, allowing Sonny to call and make an appointment for your next day off.

In those moments between, you lived in a sweet purgatory outside of your body. The only times you felt grounded were when Sonny’s hands were on you, holding you, kissing your forehead, lacing your fingers together.

You couldn’t believe a tiny organism was growing inside of you, relying on you for nutrients and nourishment and love. Something so innocent that might be born from something so awful. You couldn’t even close your eyes when you thought about it, you just saw Lewis’ scarred face and his eerie, victorious smile.

“You’re sure you don’t want me t’come with ‘ya?” Sonny frowns, turning to face you as he buttons up his dress shirt.

“I’ll be okay, I promise,” you say, though you’re not so sure.

“If not, call me or Liv, alright? One of us can come, we don’t want ‘ya t’be alone,” Sonny says, stepping towards you and placing a hand on your shoulder gently.

“I will, Sonny. Don’t worry,” you smile, leaning into his warm embrace.

You were told the results could take up to two weeks to arrive, so you went back home and looked around your apartment. It was a one bedroom, barely big enough for you and a baby. If the baby was Sonny’s, would you move in together? Would you have to switch departments? Would you get engaged?

And if it was Lewis’? You loathed the thought, but it was the more likely possibility. You wish you could give it up for adoption, but the truth was that it would be your baby too. Could you really give your baby away just because it was conceived through rape?

—

Two weeks later, like clockwork, your phone rang. The caller ID was your doctor’s office, so you glanced at Sonny. He was none the wiser, sitting on the couch and reading through case files.

“H-hello?” you answer, ducking into the bedroom. Your hand shook as you held your cell phone up to your ear.

“Hello, is this (y/n) (y/l/n)?”

“Yes, that’s me,” you say nervously.

“I have the results of your fetal DNA test. The sample from Dominick Carisi Junior is a 99.7 percent paternal match.”

“Wh— a-are you sure?” you whisper. Your shaky hand comes up to your mouth as you blink slowly, hardly believing your ears.

“Yes, with a match that close, it is virtually impossible to have another paternal match,” the voice on the other line explains.

“Okay, thank you. So much. I-I really appreciate it,” you smile.

You exchange pleasantries and hang up, tiptoeing out of your bedroom as you glance at Sonny again. Your last look at him before telling him he would become a father.

“Sonny? I have some really good news.”

[escapingrealtiylovinginsanity]

Sonny Gray Sweat Pants (NSFW X-Ray) 

This is for @polkadotpenguin16! Your support is everything <3

You had been dating Sonny for just over a month and things were going well. He was old-fashioned and you could tell he had been raised in a two-parent home with a religious upbringing. He was respectful and didn’t push anything. Your first date ends with a chaste kiss at your door. While it surprised you, you appreciated him wanting to take things slow. It felt like he actually cared about getting to know you- not just what was in your pants. 

This was the first causal date night you had ever had. Sonny had got home late and when he had called, you could hear the exhaustion in his voice. He apologized, telling you he did want to see you but he didn’t think he had it in him to leave the house. When he had hesitantly asked if you would be okay with a night at his apartment watching a movie you had easily agreed. And you were so glad you did. 

He answered the door in his Fordham sweatshirt and gray sweatpants hair still damp from his shower. You had never seen him in anything besides a suit and you weren’t disappointed. He might be even sexier in his causal clothes than the suits he seemed to always be sporting when you were together.  

You were glad you had forgone the jeans for leggings. He stepped aside and when you walked in your chest brushed his side. He had ordered a pizza and it along with a salad and breadsticks had shown up just a few minutes before you. You didn’t know why you were surprised when he led you to the couch instead of the kitchen table. You shake your head at yourself trying to merge Catholic gentleman Sonny with relaxed at-home Sonny. 

He offered to let you pick the show and you made your best guess of something he would also enjoy off his just-watched movies. You picked an action comedy- had some grit for Sonny but was also lighthearted by its improbability and over-the-top scenes. For the exhaustion on Sonny’s face, you didn’t think he could handle anything heavy right now.  

You didn’t want to ask if he had a hard case. He worked in SVU, and you were sure all the cases were hard. You knew you couldn’t do his job. It didn’t take long after eating for Sonny to throw his arm around the back of the couch. You took the cue and didn’t make Sonny wait, curling into his side. You were engulfed in his musky smell with a zip of something sharp. His warm body felt scorching against your chilled frame.  

He must have noticed the temperature difference too. “You cold?” He didn’t give you a chance to answer because even as the words came out of his mouth, he had shifted to grab the blanket behind you. His shift had made you slide and you had used your hand to try to catch yourself. Your hand slid and connected with his cock. It had been a reflex when your fingers had closed slightly before releasing. 

Holy fucking hell- he was huge. 

You tried not to jerk out of his grip with embarrassment. Your gaze shot to the floor wondering what his reaction would be because there was no way in hell he hadn’t felt that. But Sonny didn’t say anything as he wrapped the blanket around you. Like you hadn’t just got a handful of his junk. 

You waited stiffly for a few painfully long moments. But the only reaction you got was the slight shift of his hips as he settled back into the couch. You leaned back into his side grateful for him not making it any more awkward for you than it already was.  

But as you sat there curled up with him you couldn’t concentrate on the movie playing on the screen. Your imagination was running wild. He had been soft when you had groped him or at least mostly so. You wondered if you had made him harden with that touch.  

And just how big was he? Would it be a tight fit? Would it stretch your pussy more than it had ever been? Fill you up to bursting? Your thighs unconsciously squeezed together as you felt a familiar heat start in your lower belly. You knew you needed to calm yourself down but your mind was like a damn bursting. 

Images of Sonny hard. Him rubbing the head of his cock against your soaked folds. The slight sting of the stretch as he entered you then pleasure as he bottomed out. It would take a few minutes for your body to adjust but when it did. 

Oh god, when it did you would feel everything. Every thrust and drag of his cock brushed against your walls. His groans, his hot body sliding against yours making your hard nipples sensitive to every touch. When he realized how sensitive you really were he would take them into his mouth sucking and licking- maybe even nipping. You would hold him there tugging at his locks arching your back and pushing them farther into his greedy mouth. The pace of his thrust wouldn’t slow keeping a steady rhythm bringing you closer and closer to your release- 

You felt Sonny’s fingertips graze against the skin between your shirt and leggings. Forcing you back to the present as you feel a gush of arousal soaks your already wet panties. You could feel the pulsing of your core through your entire body. You can’t take it- you didn’t care if it made you seem easy. Just as you are about to boldly fling yourself around to straddle him you hear it. The soft snore. You glance up to confirm what you already know. 

Sonny was fast asleep.       

[polkadotpenguin16]

Subtle Hints

Fills the Only 1 Bed square for @storiesofsvu's Holiday Bingo 2024

Pairing: Sonny Carisi x female reader

Tags: smut (that might be a strong word for this—smut lite?)

Word count: 2K

Beta'd by: @misscharlielulu + @escapingrealtiylovinginsanity

A/N: my Christmas present to you – my first attempt dipping my toes into smut! I’m very much a beginner writing in this genre, and want to improve my skills so I can do my saucy ideas justice. So please bear with me as I’m learning <3

Also posted on AO3

Today was your first holiday spent with Sonny’s family. While you’d already met his parents and sisters individually, this was your first time fully immersed in the Carisi clan. Sonny wasn’t worried about it, but you were irrationally concerned about making a good impression. It was important to you that they thought you were a good match for Sonny. 

His sisters seemed to like you, and his nieces and nephews thought you were pretty cool. But you had a hard time getting a read on his mother. She was cordial, smiling whenever you chatted. But her demeanor seemed guarded, if not a little cold. Definitely not the enthusiasm you’d hoped for. But you were dating her one and only son, her baby boy, so her trepidation was not unexpected.

It was getting dark outside, and the snow was falling much harder than forecasted. Because of the late hour and the unfavorable weather, Sonny’s parents offered to let everyone stay at their house for the night. When Mrs. Carisi divvied up the rooms amongst all the guests, somehow, the only one left for you and Sonny was Gina and Bella’s childhood bedroom. Which you wouldn’t have minded, except for one thing…

Gina and Bella had shared bunk beds.

Mrs. Carisi tried to play innocent. “What do you want me to do? It’s the only bed left. You wanna sleep in the closet?” But you strongly suspected this was her not so subtle way of hinting that she didn’t want any out-of-wedlock shenanigans happening under her roof.

You and Sonny entered the bedroom, dumbfounded how you found yourself in this situation. The walls were covered in pastel floral wallpaper that reminded you of the 80s. Next to the closet sat a well-worn oak dresser with scuffs along the side—probably from having the closet door slammed into it. The window was adorned with pink striped curtains that appeared to have been homemade, perhaps by Mrs. Carisi. And at the back of the room stood the dreaded set of bunk beds. 

The closer you got, the smaller the beds seemed. 

“You have got to be kidding me.” Sonny rubbed the back of his neck nervously. He’d like to say he was surprised, but this honestly wasn’t even the craziest of his mother’s antics. “I, uh, I could go talk to Ma…” he trailed off as he glanced at you hesitantly, looking for you to tell him what to do next.

You thought about it for a split second, but the defeated look on his face told you that Sonny didn’t want to fight with his mom tonight. “No, it’s fine. It’s just for one night, anyways.” As utterly silly as this was, you were still worried about making a good impression with his mother. You thought there was the slightest chance you’d earn her respect if you went along with this madness.

Relief washed over Sonny’s face. He made a mental note to thank God at Mass tomorrow for blessing him with such an understanding girlfriend. He looked back at the bunk beds, reminded of the uncomfortable night ahead of him. With a deep sigh, he accepted his fate. “Okay, roomie, which bunk do you want?”

“Which would you be more comfortable in?” You wanted to be mindful of his size. You weren’t necessarily tiny, but certainly smaller than him.

His eyes darted between you and the beds before gesturing to his lengthy frame. “Babe, it’s not gonna make a difference.”

“Well…” A wicked smirk crept onto your lips. “I’ve never slept in a bunk bed before.” You mischievously climbed up the ladder to claim the top bunk as yours.

Sonny rolled his eyes, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t charmed by your childish spirit. “Alright, doll, you can be on top tonight.” You glared at his immature joke, but desperately tried to suppress the warmth rising in your cheeks. “Why don’t you get down from there so we can get ready for bed?”

Sonny stripped down to his boxers and undershirt, offering you his dress shirt to sleep in. He had worn his blue and white polka dot one, which was your favorite on him. You shamelessly held the shirt to your face. Breathing in its musky scent, enjoying the warmth still clinging to the fabric.

While getting ready, you turned to see Sonny struggling as he tried to squish himself into the bedframe. He regretted he hadn’t taken you up on that offer to join your yoga class. He bonked his head against the wall and jammed his knee into the bedpost. Too exhausted to be fighting a literal piece of furniture, he resigned himself to sticking his feet off the edge and resting his arm on the floor.

Swallowing your giggles, you tiptoed to the bed, kneeling to look at a very defeated Sonny. “Are you going to be okay down here?” You had to whisper otherwise you’d bust out into a cackle.

“Oh, yeah, just like a five-star hotel.” At least he was able to fit his sense of humor in there.

You exchanged “I love yous” and a quick kiss, then you climbed up to your own bunk. It took a minute of tossing and turning, but you found a comfortable position for the night.

Fifteen minutes later, you were on the edge of sleep when you heard Sonny let out a disgruntled groan. The bed started to shift. Before you knew it, Sonny was up the ladder, crawling into your bunk.

“No, no, Sonny! What’re you doing?” You quietly tried to shoo him, afraid he’d break the bed. Ignoring your protests he tried to squeeze in beside you.

“Doll, it’s cold down there,” he whined. You knew that was a lie. Sonny, true to his name, radiated heat like the sun. He was never cold.

You playfully tilted your head and raised your eyebrow. “You sure you weren’t just lonely?”.

Sonny was grateful the darkness hid his boyish blush. It was an awkward dance trying to get you both to fit. Giggles erupted as your legs and arms tangled together. Eventually, Sonny pulled you on top of him, wrapping his arms around your waist. You curled up under his chin, finally settling.

You tried to fall asleep but were distracted by the gently snoring man beneath you. You felt enveloped by his warmth, intoxicated by the smell of his cologne. You knew this was quite possibly the worst time and place to be horny, but you couldn’t ignore the heat growing in your belly. You needed to relieve the tension, so you slowly ground into Sonny.

You felt a groan reverberate in his chest. “Doll, whatcha doin’?” His voice was low, thick with sleep.

“Well, you were complaining about being cold.” You ground your hips harder into his, hoping he would get the message.

Sonny’s laugh was cut off by a wanton moan. He slowly tightened his hands around your hips. You felt him growing hard beneath you.

Your message was clearly received.

He gently flipped you onto your back. “You're gonna be the death of me, ya know that...possibly literally.” He looked over the side of the bed, gauging how far the ground was.

He knew this was a bad idea. But you were so effortlessly beautiful laid out beneath him, wearing nothing but panties and his shirt. His desire for you had been building all night. Watching you blend in so easily with his crazy family, strutting around in your green party dress. He’d barely been able to keep his hands to himself. Now, hovering above you, his resolve was quickly slipping away. Your skin was soft under his fingertips, and he could smell remnants of your gingerbread perfume. You felt like the perfect Christmas present—handpicked just for him, waiting to be unwrapped. How could he resist?

He pulled you into a searing kiss. You kissed him back with the same intensity, rubbing your hands up and down his back. You moaned into his mouth, louder than you’d intended. Sonny shushed you, reminding you that you had to be quiet. You carefully peeled Sonny out of his undershirt. A goofy smile spread onto his face as he watched you struggle against the fabric. He realized how juvenile this was, but he was enjoying every minute of it. He looked deeply into your eyes, feeling the closeness he’d been desperately craving the whole evening.

He balanced himself on his forearms, wanting to make you as comfortable as possible. He hiked up your shirt just enough to gain access to your chest. He gently massaged your sensitive breast. His calloused fingers dragged gently against your skin and across your nipple, making it harden beneath his touch. You gasped as you arched your back to meet his hand. The whimpers coming from your throat were nothing compared to Sonny’s.

He enjoyed giving you pleasure infinitely more than receiving it.

He tried to ignore the burning in his shoulders. But suddenly his muscles gave out, throwing him off balance. Making a split-second decision to avoid collapsing on top of you, he tumbled over the side of the bed. He landed with a comical thud that echoed throughout the silent room.

“Sonny!” you whisper yelled, as if you hadn’t just awakened the entire house with your raunchy escapades. You quickly climbed down to check on Sonny where he lay groaning on the floor. “Are you okay? Is anything broken?”

He propped himself up on his elbows, taking stock of his body. “Besides my pride?” Wincing as he rubbed the back of his head. “I think I’ll live.” You kissed his forehead. Thankfully, the bed hadn’t been that tall, so a serious injury was unlikely.

As you sat on the floor looking up at the bunk beds, a thought popped into your head. “Hey, Sonny?”

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t we just put the mattress on the floor?”

Sonny’s face went blank at the realization. He closed his eyes and pursed his lips tightly. He groaned in frustration as he laid his head back on the floor, and you busted out into a fit of giggles. You pulled the mattresses off the bunks and lined them up next to each other on the floor. You couldn’t help but feel incredibly stupid that you hadn’t thought of this in the first place.

Well, hindsight is 20/20…or about 5 feet off the floor.

You cuddled up under the blankets, much cozier on the floor than in the beds. Sonny’s eyebrows were laced together deep in thought.

“You doing alright, sunshine?” You brushed the hair away that had fallen into his eyes.

His face relaxed under your touch. “Yeah, I’m just wondering why I couldn’t be the favorite child.” You shook your head in amusement, a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. “Bella would never have been asked to share a bunk bed.”

You scooched in close to teasingly whisper in his ear, “That’s because Tommy popped the question.”

Sonny threw his head back and laughed so hard, you worried it would wake up the house yet again. “Ya trying to tell me something, doll?”

“All I’m saying is maybe some new jewelry could get us better accommodations next year.” You wiggled the fingers of your left hand.

He took your hand and lovingly kissed each of your fingers, pausing before your ring finger. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

You snuggled deeper under the covers, happily entangled together. You closed your eyes, playing back the evening’s events in your mind. It was certainly a night you wouldn’t soon forget. You wondered how big the lump on Sonny’s head would be. Or if maybe you’d be engaged by next Christmas…

And how to explain all of this to his mother in the morning.

[p3ndeja6]

₊ ⊹🪻 ✧ ˚. ᵎᵎ 🔮

n.amaro x reader

summary: you were younger then nick by a couple of years, and sometimes he’d come over to your apartment after late nights at the precinct, he’d come over to just enjoy peace and serenity

content: fluff, reader is in school (2nd or 3rd year of college) suggestive acts (nothing extreme), age gap!, mentions of sexual abuse due to svu cases, nothing too triggering, just a fluffy one shot overall

super short

✧ ✧

it was late at night, you were working on an essay that was due by the end of the week.. you were getting strained and decided to take a break and call it a day.

You made yourself a quick meal, spicy buldak noodles, a sandwich and your favorite drink that was saved in the fridge. You prepared your meal as you were watching your favorite show. you were almost done preparing your late-night snack when you heard the doorknob shake.

You lived a pretty safe vicinity so the chances of a burgler were slim, but you still were vigilant about your safety, you quickly grabbed your broom and held it tight.

Upon your discovery, the door opened and you saw your boyfriend… nick.

You sighed of relief, and he looked at you worried

“Jesus Nick, you scared me!” “geez sorry, i thought this neighbor was safe?”

you put the broom down, “I mean it is but you never know” “yeah.. tell me about it”

he walked to you as you went back in finishing preparing your ramen, he went behind you and grabbed you hips and nuzzled his head in between your neck, kissing you, making you giggle due to his stubble

he continued and you moved your head slightly to give him more access, he took this as a sign to continue. You tried not to get distracted but you let a soft moan escape.

he laughed,and started moving up your body; cupping your boobs. You laughed and finally pushed him away

“stop Nick” you laughed “I want to eat, I’ve been working on an assignment for the past 5 hours.” he let go and laughed “my hard working girl, okay okay I’ll let you eat but next time, you’re all mine!”

you shook your head in sarcasm, he took of his jacket and unbuttoned his white shirt a couple of buttons down, and took off his shoes. He adjusted himself on your couch, and laid there with his eyes closed taking in the aroma therapy essential oils diffuser thats going around your room.

you look at him, now realizing that he’s here strangely. Nick stops by late nights most weekends or if it’s a weekday he’ll let you know earlier in the day if he’s stopping by, but it’s currently a Tuesday at 12:36 am.

“hey Nick?”

he hummed in response, most likely getting sleepy

“not to sound rude or anything.. but why are you here? It’s late on a Tuesday night, shouldn’t you be at your place?”

He opened one eye and looked over at you

“do you not want me here?” He said a bit suspicious

“oh god, no like yeah I do, but I just realized what day it was and you know you usually let me know when you’re coming over and it’s usually weekends you spend the night with me, I just found it odd you came to visit me tonight” “I love it when you’re here really”

you finally finished your ramen and took it towards the couch where Nick was, and started eating as you waited for a response.

he was hesitant in his answer, he seemed stressed and frustrated.

“today we had a tough case.. a rape case..”

you look at him attentively, making sure you are hearing him and that he has your fullest attention.

you nod in continuous

“and well… it’s about a 8 year old girl who’s after school teacher has been acting inappropriately with her.. you know like touching her where she shouldn’t be touched”

“oh my god” was what you let out

“yeah, and her home life isn’t easy, this one was a bit tough to work on dude to how young and bright this little girl is. I hate to see anyone take it away from her”

you put your ramen down and get close to him, caressing his hand.

“and being here.. with you just brings me peace. All is perfect here, so sorry i came unexpected but i really needed to see you”

you smiled at him

“awe baby, you know you are always welcomed here, I love having you here, never goes a day where I don’t miss you”

you make him look at you and caress his cheek, looking so attentively at his eyes, leaning in and kissing him so gracefully.

he takes you in, and guides a hand on your neck. You move to his lap and continue to kiss him, sucking on each others lips, and you slightly grinding on him

he groans a bit and you continue to bit his lip. You pull away with his lip in between your teeth and stare at him and run a finger across his now plumped lips

“thank you for coming over”

“thank you for having me”

[gardens0fbabyl0n]

Good Girl

Dominick Carisi x Reader warnings: smut, language

It’s late at night and you’ve been needy for him all week. Regrettably you both had been too busy but now he’s finally here and you’ve been making out heavily for a good while. You were growing impatient. He could sense it. Finally, you had shed your clothes and relocated to your bedroom. 

Dominick asks if you're gonna be a good girl for him but you just laugh and whisper a 'no' while he kisses down your neck. He stops and looks up at you, his brow furrowed, and you grab his jaw and kiss him again before you push him off of you. You turn around and get on your hands and knees in front of him, biting your lip, feeling so damn cheeky. He gasps, and you roll your hips forward, your wet pussy in his face now and his hot breath on you is already making your arousal drip out of you.

'No?' Dominick repeats and you feel his fingers spread your lips, dragging between your folds, playing with your juices. 'You're gonna be bad? You're gonna be a bad girl? What am I supposed to do about that?'

You swallow a moan, shaking with anticipation, knowing you got him where you wanted him - absolutely fucking feral.

'Put your big cock in me and fuck me hard, make me scream. Please, Dominick.' you rock back on his hand, desperate for more contact, just as he withdraws.

You can hear him lick his fingers, then curse under his breath before he finally grabs your hips and with one rough thrust he is inside you, filling you to the hilt. You cry out his name in pleasure, knees already threatening to buckle. He sets a hard, fast rhythm, fucking into you relentlessly, just like you wanted him to, and god, does it feel good.

'Mmmhmmm I want to fuck you until I feel that sweet little pussy clenching around my cock.' Dominick moans, his fingers finding your clit to rub circles there while he fucks into you roughly.  

[ccarisi]

sonny carisi: law & order: svu | 26x12

[evan4ever]

You Left Me

Warnings— angst, that’s about it! And I did not proofread lol

a/n— I’ve wanted to write for Barba for so long and this popped in my head tonight so I hope it’s good, it’s my first Barba x reader!!

*******

“I’ve got donuts!” You chirped as you strolled into the station, holding the box of donuts up high for everyone to see, though blocking your own view momentarily. Thankfully, you knew your way around well enough that you maneuvered your way to your desk, still holding the box in front of you waiting for someone, anyone, to say something about the donuts— but when no one did, you finally lowered to box to see Amanda, Sony, Olivia… and Rafael staring at you.

Your heart nearly stopped. It had been nearly 3 years since Rafael had left. Left the squad. Left town. Left you.

No call. No text. No nothing. After a nasty case that left everyone confused and devastated, you arrived home to the apartment you had shared with your long time boyfriend, Rafael Barba, for all of his belongings to be gone. Nothing of his left, but a note.

“I love you. I’m sorry.

Rafi”

You were left broken beyond what you thought could ever be repaired. It took a lot of time, a lot of therapy, a lot of “self love” and time off for you to even come close to healing from that. You still weren’t completely healed. You were just on the mend, finally seeing light at the end of the tunnel, thinking that maybe things could be okay again. You were finally finding love towards your job again after spending the last three years being so angry and taking that anger out on every perp you could. Olivia knew what you were going through, thankfully doing her best to hold you together knowing you had no one else to do it for you. She never fired you when you were out of place, she never judged you when you blew up at anyone who looked at you wrong, no, she simply turned you in the direction she knew you needed to go.

And now, the moment your eyes landed on Rafael’s, they quickly diverted from his and found Olivia’s.

You swallowed hard, feeling uncomfortable with everyone’s eyes on you and the way silence filled the room. You dropped the box of donuts harshly on your desk and cleared your throat, running your hand through your hair, something you did often when nervous.

“Um, I can’t… this isn’t..” you stuttered, shaking your head, “I’m not doing this here.” You stated, turning and making your way into the break room, away from the wandering eyes, knowing Rafael would follow you.

The air felt thick around you, your skin hot and wet. You almost didn’t want to believe he was really here, that this was really happening. Why? Why now? After all this time? After all these years you had to spend healing the parts of you that he broke? Why now?

You felt the presence as someone entered the room, and it was all too familiar even after three years. Your ps were currently pressed against the counter, your body hunched forward.

“Close the door, please.” You demanded, quietly. You knew you weren’t going to be able to keep your temper under control when the two of you begin talking, and the others really don’t need to hear your dirty laundry.

You listen as he obliges, the door latching giving you the okay to push yourself away from the counter. You still couldn’t bring yourself to face him yet, so there you stood tall, facing away from him, staring at the white kitchen cabinets in the break room filled with only the presence of yourself and the man who was at one point the absolute love of your life.

It was dead silent, as if both of you were terrified to speak first. Or maybe neither of you knew the right thing to say. All you did know was you weren’t going to be the first to speak, and he had no right to make you.

“Can you turn to me?” His voice finally filled the room, filled your ears. “Please?” It was so soft, and still so beautiful, if you weren’t so pissed off at him, you probably wouldn’t buckled there.

“I don’t know if I can face you.” You admitted in a shaky whisper, you weren’t sure if he even heard.

“I know you’re angry, but if you would just listen—“

“Angry?” You cut him off, whipping yourself around so quick that he wasn’t expecting it and took a few steps back out of surprise. “No. I’m not angry, Rafael. I’m furious. I’m livid. I could kill you if it wasn’t illegal and I didn’t love my job.”

You stepped towards him with every one of your words, now chest to chest with him. Your noses were nearly touching as you stared up at him and he down at you, a look of pure despise mixed with betrayal in your eyes.

You stayed like this for a moment, almost threatening him to move away from you. When he didn’t, you finally backed off and put space between you, shaking your head at him.

“I know that I’ve hurt you y/n.” He states, his eyes remaining on you.

“You left me.” Your voice nearly squeaks in reply, causing Rafael to flinch slightly. “I would’ve done anything for you, Rafi, and you left me.”

“I had no choice!” He finally raises his voice, a hint of his own hurt showing. “I couldn’t make you give up the job that you worked so damn hard for all because I did what I did? I wasn’t going to make you pack up your life and come with me all because of a screwed up case! Don’t you get any of that? I was trying to spare you. I was trying to give you another chance at this beautiful life you built. I wasn’t going to make you follow me. I would never do that to you. Not because of my poor choices.”

You stared at him for a moment in disbelief, as if the last nearly decade you guys had spent together he truly had never heard a word you had ever said to him. Yes, you could see he was looking at your best interest, but he failed, miserably, at seeing what YOU would have wanted. What YOU would have thought was best.

“I would have gave up my entire life for you. My career, my home? Those are just things to me. You knew this.” You spoke slowly and clearly to him, making sure he understood you. “There was nothing else in this world I wanted more than to be with you, wherever you were, wherever you would go. I would have been there.” Your eyes stared directly into his, holding contact for a moment while he thought over what you just said. “But you took that choice from me when you left me here.”

Turning away from him now, you took a deep breath almost feeling free, finally getting that off your chest to him. He took that choice from you. He thought he knew what was best for you, and that’s what really hurt.

“And you didn’t even give me the courtesy of a phone call or… or a goddamn text message.” You laughed harshly. “No, I got to find out from a note Rafi! A note, and all your shit gone from our apartment! But hey, thanks for paying the rest of that year’s rent. You really did me a favor there.” You sarcastically joked, rolling your eyes.

All Rafael could do was stand there, thinking over your words again and again. He really did think he was doing what was best for you. That’s all he wanted, what was best for you. He didn’t want to make you pick your entire life up for him.

“I’m sorry y/n. I only wanted what was best for you. I didn’t think you—“

“No, you didn’t.” You cut him off, nodding in agreement. “You’re right. You didn’t think.”

He just stares at you, his mouth opening to say something but quickly closing on second thought.

You both now, once again, just stares each other down, neither daring to break eye contact. Though, his stare at you is filled with sincerity and warmth while your stare at him is still filled with anger and coldness.

“Do you know what I had to do to pick myself back up from that?” You once again break the silence, referring to his leaving. His eyes quickly meet the floor, almost scared to find out what his disappearance in your life had done to you. “I was in therapy FOUR DAYS a week with Olivia’s freaking shrink for months. Then it was three days a week. Now I’m finally at two days a week so, we’re making progress huh? I was on desk duty for a year because I would beat the living shit out of every perpetrator I could get my hands on. I had like.. four different lawsuits on my hands that, thank god for Olivia and the rest of my squad, they got me out of. I lost a partner to a bullet because my mind was on YOU. I lost the privilege to talk to victims for a year because my mind was on YOU.” His eyes remained on the floor as you flooded him with everything he had caused you to go through. “You left a hole in me, so big, that even three years later Rafi, I’m still working on filling it. All because I would have went with you.”

“So come with me now.”

His words take you back, nearly making you trip over your own feet as you process what the hell he just said. You stare at him, your eyebrows pushed together, questioning if you heard him right. Surely, he didn’t just say that now, after all this, after all this time.

“What?” You whisper, deciding you need to hear him say it again to confirm it.

Rafael pushes himself a few steps towards you now, maybe a foot between the two of you, and looks down at you carefully, and gently repeats himself. “So, come with me now.”

Your mouth drops open in awe, and not the good kind.

“Are you kidding me? Why now? Why now and not then?!” You raise your voice again, feeling the anger once again rise, though he quickly grabs either side of your arms and gives them a small squeeze.

“Please. Just listen to me.” You want to object but instead, you sigh and allow him to continue. “I realize now how wrong I was for not giving you the choice. Y/n, leaving you was the biggest mistake I have ever made in my entire life. A mistake I have been dwelling on since the day I left. But I needed to hear you say, from your own mouth, your own words, that you would’ve came with me. I would’ve never forgiven myself if I forced you to come and you hated it. Please understand that.” You slowly relax at his words, in his touch, feeling slightly more confident that he truly meant well by his actions, though they still weren’t okay. “There’s nothing I love more in this world than you. There’s nothing I want more in this world than you by my side wherever I go. And if you still want that, so do I.”

He lets his jabs gently run up and down your arms, in a familiar way he used to years before, and God it felt so good. Your eyes flutter shut as you replay his words in your mind, your stomach turning in all which ways making you almost nauseous. You’re not ever sure how to feel at this point, you don’t even know what to say or how to respond.

Maybe it was instinct, or maybe it was just so natural, but you found yourself leaning into him and allowing him to hold you. He was careful not to overstep any boundaries you may have put up, only holding onto the sides of your arms and allowing you to rest into him as you pleased, your head lying against his chest. You felt his chin finally rest on the top of your head after some moments, like he wasn’t sure if you’d allow him to or not.

Here, like this, you guys stayed for some minutes in silent. You had no idea what to do, or what to feel. All you did know was in this moment, it was the most whole you have felt in three years, since before the day Rafael left you. It might seem silly, or cheesy or cliche, but you really would have given up your entire life for this man. He was your everything. He treated you with the utmost respect, kindness, love, he treasured you. You guys had a good thing going. And you had no one else. Sure, you had your squad and they were the closest to a “family” you were going to get, but Rafael was the one.

“I have to get going mi amor.” Rafael finally pulls himself away, your heart skipping a beat at his use of Spanish, something you haven’t heard in so long and god, something you have missed. He looks down at you, you quickly squeeze your eyes shut to hold back the tears that suddenly tried to push themselves out, then blink a few times before looking up and meeting his eyes. “There’s that case, with the veteran and his daughter, Nydia.” You nod, knowing which he’s talking about before realizing he must be going against Carisi. Rafael notices your realization and a small smirk grows on his lips. “Yeah” he confirms. You clear your throat and nod. “We can talk later, if that’s okay?”

You nod again as he back away towards the door, watching him carefully but staying where you are.

He stops before he leaves and looks back at you one last time, meeting your eyes, “just think about it, okay?”

[cathrrrine]

how the svu characters would react to you pranking them by texting “i miss being single”

Sonny Carisi

Amanda Rollins

Nick Amaro

Casey Novak

Alex Cabot

Rafael Barba

Olivia Benson

Fin Tutuola

Elliot Stabler

[adalwolfgang]

Me:

The wife in question: 🧔‍♂️

[kryptonitejelly]

Hello! LOVED your Sonny Carisi first kiss 😍 How about some pillow talk with our favorite ball of Sonnshine 😏🌞

send asks for sonny carisi x reader (5 sentence baby blurbs!)

“Would you still love me if I was a worm?”

“Yes,” Sonny’s eyes are still closed, his arms wrapped around you, but his answer to your ridiculous question is immediate.

“What if I was a -”

“Yes,” his voice is thick with sleep, but he cuts you off with a quick answer.

“But I haven’t finished my question,” you protest as Sonny’s eyes flicker open. He flips you in one swift motion; you are with your back on the bed, Sonny’s arms caging you in.

“Doll,” he drawls, lips going down to the column of your neck; you can feel his voice against your skin, “the answer is always yes.”

[collecting-stories]

Not in Chronological Order ch. 5 - Orange Magic

setting: Central Park// Saturday morning

summary: Reader and Sonny are watching his niece's softball game on Saturday morning and he is interrupted by a series of work calls.

A/N: This takes place 13 months into their relationship. Also, I mentioned on the series page that I've taken some creative liberties with Sonny's nieces and nephews, which still stands. I'm giving his sister Teresa three kids, including a daughter named Sofia.

<- Not in Chronological Order Masterlist | Lie Like This ->

...divider by @saradika

“Thought ya weren’t gonna make it,” Sonny called his tone light and teasing. It was still cold for the middle of March and he had his Fordham hoodie on, hands in his front pocket though he took them out as you approached, pulling you into a hug. You were careful of the coffees in your hands as you wrapped your arms around his waist, pressing your face against the collar of his hoodie and kissing the side of his jaw. 

Once you’d extricated yourself from his embrace and handed him one of the coffees you said, “And miss a softball game for six year olds?” You asked, “doesn’t sound like me.”

“Yeah, alright, I don’t appreciate the snark,” he joked. 

Dating Sonny had just been dating Sonny until about three months into the relationship when he decided he’d waited long enough to introduce you to his family. Now, over a year into your relationship, you felt like you were dating the entire Carisi clan. Dates turned into family parties or Sunday night dinner or watching his nieces and nephew play sports early on Saturday mornings and it all felt bizarrely more domestic than any of your previous relationships. Maybe that was simply because the last time you had a serious boyfriend was ten years ago when you were twenty. 

Today you’d gotten yourself out of bed early and taken the subway into Manhattan to see Teresa’s youngest daughter’s softball game. You’d been invited by Teresa before Sonny could even remember the date. She’d texted an entire schedule for each of her three children’s sports and school activities to you at the beginning of their school year when you’d only been dating Sonny for six and a half months. 

“Just FYI,” you mentioned, shifting your coffee to balance between the crook of your arm and your body so you could clap as Sofia came up to bat, “I’m mad at you.”

Sonny’s eyebrows furrowed, looking at you with a mix of concern and confusion, trying to wrack his brain for a reason that you would be upset with him. Between both of your busy schedules you’d managed to keep any dates that you scheduled and he’d been on time to every apartment tour for the last two weeks. 

“What? Why?” He finally asked, unable to think of any particular reason you had for being mad at him. 

You turned your face toward him, that sly smile creeping over your features, causing him to realize that you’d been teasing him. “Because you didn’t tell me about that Italian place on Locust.”

“Near my parent’s house?” He asked, not concerned anymore but twice as confused. The two of you had been over the bridge almost every week for Sunday dinner but he couldn’t think of another reason for you to trek to Staten Island, at least without him. 

“Yeah, I went last night with your mom." 

"You went to dinner with my ma?” Sonny was more than positive that you hadn’t mentioned a Friday date night with his mom at any point during the week. 

“She said she wanted to take me to dinner for my birthday, just the two of us,” you shrugged. 

“Ya went to dinner with my ma?”

“Yes. She texted me like, two weeks ago, and asked if I wanted to have dinner,” you explained, “anyway…the point is, why didn’t you ever take me there? The food is so good!" 

"I can’t believe you went to dinner with my ma and didn’t even tell me about it,” he replied, “I can’t believe she’s texting you.”

“Jealous?” You joked, bumping his hip with yours. “Where’s Teresa anyway?”

“Paul’s got the kids this weekend,” Sonny replied, nodding his head in the direction of the bleachers on the other side of the diamond where his ex-brother-in-law sat with two small children. 

“Oh fun,” you muttered. Teresa had introduced you to Paul only once but that had been more than enough for you to get a measure on him. 

“So, what did you and my ma talk about?” Sonny asked, looking at you over the rim of his disposable cup as he took a sip. 

“Well, she spent a good half of the time asking me when I was planning on making her a grandmother again,” you replied, “although, at least your mom has more of a filter than you do." 

Sonny had ungracefully blurted out, halfway through dinner on your second date, that he wanted to have kids someday and he was looking for a serious relationship. As if two dates in a week was enough to know whether you were going to devote the rest of your life to him. You were planning on it, in fact, though you had avoided saying so two dates in. 

"What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked, looking incredulous at the accusation. 

Before you could answer, his cellphone went off and Sonny stepped away from you to answer it, already falling into ADA mode. You turned your own attention back to the game, scanning the game to see where Sofia was and finding her in the dug out, waiting for her turn to bat again. 

“…I can email it to ya first thing tomorrow morning. I’m not in the office right now,” Sonny said, looking back toward the Little League diamond, his gaze softening as he watched you clap for his niece. “Yeah, yeah…I’ll talk to ya later, alright, bye Liv.”

Sonny made it over to you after hanging up, wrapping his arms around your waist from behind and kissing your cheek. 

“Do you need to go?” You asked, turning your head to meet his eyes. 

“Nah, just some paperwork. Nothing I can’t get in the morning,” he replied. 

“Are you sure?” You knew you sounded surprised as he looked over at you, the beginnings of an apology already forming on his tongue.

“Yeah, ya just got here and we’re supposed to look at that apartment after lunch.”

“I know,” you turned back to the game, “but if you have to-”

“I don’t." 

A year and a month into dating Sonny, you knew that his job was more than important. It was demanding on a good day and soul-draining otherwise. The work he did was necessary and hard and you understood. Yours wasn’t an easy job either, though you had more structured hours than Sonny sometimes got. Both of you had brought up jobs and relationship expectations somewhere around the three month mark but neither of you had really gotten anywhere solid and the discussion had been shelved for later. For further down the road when things were more serious. 

Talking babies with Serafina Carisi and apartment shopping seemed like the time to unshelf that conversation but neither of you really wanted to. 

"So, dinner with my ma?” Sonny asked, trying to get back whatever you’d had before Sonny had answered the phone.

“Oh yeah, we covered all the topics. Jobs, children, future wedding, why you haven’t proposed yet,” you laughed at Sonny’s expression, “her question, not mine.”

“She’s something else,” he muttered, pressing his face into your neck. 

You reached up with one hand to pat the top of his head, running your fingers through the soft, salt and pepper, waves. No work meant no hair gel. “She told me that we should move to Staten Island so when we have kids she can babysit and we don’t have to worry about work or daycare.”

“We just have to worry about commuting back into Manhattan?” Sonny asked, slightly muffled by your sweatshirt. You could feel his mouth against your neck as he spoke, breath warm in the cold morning air. 

“What, you don’t wanna sit in hours of traffic every day?”

“Dream come true,” he hummed. 

Sonny’s phone rang once more and he groaned against your neck, giving you a gentle squeeze before he pulled away. You heard Liv’s name leave his lips as he stepped further away from you and the game. Serafina had referred to the relationship as a test of patience. You wouldn’t put all the blame for busy schedules on Sonny though, there were plenty of dates that you had interrupted with a phone call or times when you’d brought work to his house when you were supposed to be having dinner together. 

“Are you sure you don’t need to go in?” you asked when he made his way over to you again.

“No,” he pocketed his phone, “sorry.”

“No you aren’t,” you laughed, stepping away to throw out your empty coffee. When you came back over he was frowning. “What?”

“I am-”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you sighed, wrapping your arms around his waist and tucking yourself into his side. He slung an arm around your shoulders instinctively. “I just meant, I’m not mad that you have to work when you’re off the clock. You know I get it, I just…wish you wouldn’t apologize. It gives me false hope that maybe next time you won’t go into the office or answer the phone and I know you won’t.”

“It’s just, the case we’re working on-” Sonny started to explain.

“Dominick,” you huffed, cutting him off, “I literally just gave you an out, you don’t have to explain. I’m not mad.”

“You seem a little mad.”

“Well…” You turned into Sonny more, fiddling with ties on his hoodie for a moment before meeting his eyes, “it’s 10am on a Saturday and I’m watching your niece play softball and thinking that maybe your mom wasn’t so crazy for asking me about kids cause I could totally rock being a ‘soccer mom’ someday and then I just spiral further into my head like…will Sonny answer the phone when our future children with Italian names are running around playing baseball and then I realize I’m being totally irrational because half the time I’m the one on the phone and then-”

“Hey,” Sonny cut you off this time, pulling you closer to hug you, kissing the side of your head, “we both have crazy jobs and we knew that getting into this and I know you are more than understanding about my schedule but that doesn’t mean I’m not sorry that I gotta answer the phone when I’m with you." 

"I know,” you replied, “I just feel like, the interruptions happen whether you make excuses for them or not…I just don’t want us to be those people that like, make the excuses. I don’t wanna lie and say that next time I won’t pick up a second shift and I don’t want you to say that you won’t stay late at the office cause then we’re just lying to each other.”

Sonny looked contemplative as he considered what you had said to him. Finally, he nodded, “I agree…I just feel guilty sometimes hassling you with interruptions when we’re supposed to be off.”

“I don’t think this is a compromise we can figure out over the course of one conversation,” you replied. A Little League baseball game probably wasn’t the best place to be hashing out your feelings as it was but there was certainly no easy end or compromise to the situation at hand. Down the road, you imagined, it would have to evolve into other conversations too, more nuanced, about family instead of just you and Sonny. “But if you do have to go in to the office…”

“Just for like an hour tops, I promise we’ll make the open house." 

"We better,” you tried to sound threatening but it was hard to do when you were smiling, “cause I showed Serafina the places we were looking and it’s the only one she likes.”

“She’s not living in it,” Sonny pointed out.

“Yeah but she said it’s got three bedrooms so that’s at least two grandkids.”

“With Italian names,” he teased.

“Depends,” you replied, detangling yourself from Sonny as his niece ran over to say hello. 

“On what?” He asked, though he was looking at Sofia and waving, a massive smile on his face.

“I’ll tell you when little ears aren’t around,” you joked. 

Sofia made impact with his legs before he could answer you and Sonny lifted her up, settling her against his hip despite her being six and all limbs, happily kicking him as he hugged her. She launched into a recounting of the game, as if neither of you had been there and seen most of it. You couldn’t help thinking that maybe Serafina was right when she told you that a year and a month was not too short a time to already be thinking about kids of your own. Interruptions be damned, you’d spend the rest of your life with Sonny if you were given the opportunity.

[noellawrites]

Dark!Sonny Carisi R*pe and Impregnation HC’s

a/n: happy anniversary my love @rafaslittleboy <3 also gender neutral but afab reader

warning: DARK CONTENT AHEAD, please do not read if this disturbs you! includes: rape, impregnation, virginity loss, inaccurate portrayal of abortion laws, manipulation, forced pregnancy, lmk if i missed any

- As Dominick Carisi Junior’s paralegal, you have a very professional relationship with him. Always running errands, filing papers, gathering reports

- But one day, he asks if you’re free that evening to babysit his three kids

- And you agree, of course, knowing he’s been going through a rough period with his wife

- But when you arrive, only Sonny is there

- “Sorry kid, there’s been a change ‘a plans. ‘Manda’s mom’s watchin’ the kids, ‘n ‘Manda’s off doin’ work stuff,” Dominick sighs, welcoming you in

- You’d been alone with Mr. Carisi many times, but this felt… different. The vibes were off

- He tells you to stick around, that you can help him out with work stuff and he’ll still give you money for it

- You share a few drinks, not unlike some of the late nights you’ve spent in his office together

- Later on, you’re definitely tipsy and sitting on the couch next to your boss

- All of a sudden, his lips are on yours in a passionate kiss, and you feel sick and confused

- Your brain is lagging behind your body, and Mr. Carisi is pulling your underwear and bottoms down your legs

- “Shh, this is jus’ between us, kiddo. Lemme make ‘ya feel good,” he say in your ear as your head lolls back

- At some point, you end up on the bed and he’s pulling his dick out of his pants

- “Been waitin’ so long f’this,” you hear him growl before he pushes in, painfully taking your virginity as you lay paralyzed with fear

- “Mr. Carisi, s-stop!” you whimper, which is pretty much all you can do as he fucks you deeper and more passionately

- He’s thrusting so roughly, and after a few moments you can feel him blow his load in you as he tells you how tight your hole is

- You pass out at some point and wake up in his marital bed the next morning with a dull, throbbing pain between your legs and a check for seventy-five thousand dollars on the nightstand next to you

- You think you must’ve imagined it, you’re in shock and disbelief. Your boss, the man who has worked to bring sexual predators to justice for the last decade? Raping you?

- And the next day at work, Mr. Carisi acts totally normal. Talks about how proud he is of his kids, how his son just took his first steps. It’s almost like nothing ever happened between you

- He gives you a wink, saying he’s always down for some more fun, and that’s the last you hear of it

- You love your job, and you need it, so you go back to acting normal with Mr. Carisi

- Until six weeks later, when you start arriving late and disheveled, sometimes calling out entirely

- “What’s goin’ on with ‘ya, kiddo? C’mon, talk t’me,” Sonny presses, putting a hand on your shoulder comfortingly

- He hasn’t crossed your boundaries since that night, so you’ve gotten more comfortable with him again

- “I’ve just been really sick,” you mumble, rubbing your forehead

- “Maybe ah’ should take ‘ya to a doctor,” he frowns, feigning concern. He knows exactly what’s “wrong” with you.

- “I’m fine,” you mumble, but after a few moments you get up and run to the bathroom to puke again

- “Let’s go,” you sigh, “I probably have the flu or something.”

- The doctor writes down your symptoms and orders a blood test, and you wait in the lobby with Sonny for about an hour until your results are ready

- You know you must be imagining it when the nurse tells you that you’re pregnant, about six weeks along

- Sonny hugs you, tells you how amazing it is that you’ve created the miracle of life together, and you stand still in shock.

- The first words to come out of your mouth are, “when can I come back for an abortion?”

- Sonny’s smile falls and he grabs your wrist, “what tha’ hell?”

- You tell him you don’t want a kid, you’re too young and not ready for it, but he’s not listening

- "'Ya really want an abortion? I ain't gonna let that happen, kiddo. I'll see 'ya in court," he snaps.

- The nurse gives you some resources but you know that Mr. Carisi will find a way to get what he wants, like always

- Your lawyer tells you that Amanda has been unfaithful to Sonny and he just found out that Nicky Carisi isn't his biological son, which is why he's so adamant on forcing you to carry to term

- Your lawyer goes for the rape angle, since you were actually raped and shouldn't be forced to carry the child

- Needless to say, Sonny and his lawyer eviscerate you on the stand, and it's emphasized by the sob story of what happened with Amanda

- He truly sees you and this child as his second chance, and there is no way he's letting you ruin it

- You can't take care of your newborn in New York City on a paralegal salary, and Sonny convinces you to move in with him and out of your shitty apartment

- You share custody, but slowly you can feel yourself becoming more attached to both Sonny and your baby

- You have to work from home, both the new baby and the postpartum struggles making it too hard to go in and do your job

- Before long, Sonny is already talking about baby number two. He needs this family, needs to rebuild what he lost through Amanda's infidelity

- That's when you realize, it was hopeless to ever try and leave