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livin4woso · 4 days ago

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Its not a problem if you have self control- (barca femini x teen!reader)

Summary- old habits die hard especially ones that are addictive. It's common for teens in the UK to turn to some bad activities to take off the edge however it's not so acceptable in spain.

Before your move to spain it wasn't uncommon for you to go out and have a bit of fun. since you had turned 16 you had been borrowing peoples IDs to get into the local clubs with your teammates and being out till morning came. It wasn't harming anyone,except your liver but you had more control than some of the girls in the academy system as they had been drinking so much they were left with a choice clubbing or football, it was just unfortunate they picked clubbing.

Drinking wasn't a main concern for you, you never craved for the buzz off alcohol and it was just expensive when you went out so you only rarely accepted invites from your friends. However it was nicotine that you really craved, you couldn't stop after you started, it really is a catch especially when you feel it rush to your head. But in your defence you would have never tried it yourself if it wasn't for peer pressure as your friends knew you wouldn't dare touch a ciggarete so they settled for a vape.

The first hit had knocked you and as you inhaled the vapor it hit the back of your throat and it came coughing back out but after a few tries you started to relax into the feeling and you couldn't resist. It started off small just stealing off friends when you were with them but as your career took off the stress to preform was weighing down and the thing that made you feel lighter was nicotine so you bought your own...

You had a good control on your intake and you barley went through liquids it was just now and again, as you were cautious if it would affect your performance but you saw no decline. But when the week after you had turned 18 at the start of the summer transfer window barcelona came calling for you which lead your anxiety to increase and so did the vaping.

Moving from one country to another was stressful,especially at 18 with the only knowledge of spanish being is whats inside your pencil case (curtiousy from your year 9 spanish lessons) you couldn't help but feel the anxiety simmer in your chest like a nagging feeling you couldn't get rid of. You were lucky that barcelona had sent you housing recommendation as that would have been more to add to your plate as well as applying for working visa's ect.

you had chosen a high rise flat with a balcony which meant you could enjoy the weather but also not hotbox your new flat. Settling in fast was an understatement for the first few weeks you were dragged around the training grounds taking pictures then signing contracts and finally interviews. It all was a blur you didn't have a chance to take it in as you were being shoved room to room as barca worked on a tight schedual. you had met the staff and had slowly picked up some names,as you were being ran down on what would happen which was starting with fitness tests and medical checks which would progress to team training as the coaches knew it was a massive step up in intensity and load especially for an 18 year old.

Fitness testing was ruthless, sprints, lactate testing, VO2 max tests your body was tense as your muscles were sore and cramped as you walked back to the car to drive yourself home. The week felt like a never ending cycle and every day ended with you sitting on the balcony chair,vape in hand and your laptop playing some netflix show you were hardly paying attention too as you would scroll through your friends instagrams from back home. You felt so alone and you had only been there a week and the homesickness was hitting hard and you just wondered if moving was the right idea.

Pre-season had started and it was finally time to meet everyone and you normally kept your vape at home however the anxiety in your chest needed calming so just incase it was needed. you had arrived in your new kit, the crest on your shorts feeling strange yet not an unwelcoming change, as you walked into the changing rooms you were lucky to be one of the first people there as it gave you time to put your kit in the cubby as well as your boots back from home as they had become a superstision to wear them as you played your best in them.

There was only Alexia, Patri and Marta in the room as they were on captianly duties to make you feel welcome "hola welcome to Barca" Alexia said reaching out to shake your hand " thank you im Y/N " you said returning the handshake as you settled into a normal conversation. The other girls slowly began to enter each taking there time to introduce themselves everyone was kind to you but then mapi entered the room and it was like you had changed "so what position do you play?" she asked "erm center back same as you" you replied " AHH i can see it now we take over together me and you" she responded and you would have laughed if she didnt look so serious " mapi stop pestering your going to scare the girl off" ingrid chimed in sending a pointed look towards mapi "its fine i dont mind" you replied and you noticed that mapi had sent you a sneaky hive five too you. It was after that conversation Mapi had took it upon herself to be your big sister at barca as she wanted the best for you and she could tell you looked like you knew how to have fun.

walking onto the pitch was like a dream come true however the drills were relentless they required so much technical percision you understood why you were put through so many tests before hand. It wasn't a stressful environment everyone was kind and made sure to explain the what the coaches were saying as you still hadn't got round to learning spanish but the pressure to kept up with the girls was piling up and weighing onto your shoulders and the only thing you wanted to do in that moment was have a go of your vape as you knew it would ease the tension off your body. Deep down you knew it was wrong you weren't blind to the negative impacts it had but each time you had nic rush everything was quiet and it kept you hooked to the small device.

After the first week of training you were less anxious and had made a few friends with some of the younger girls and Mapi of course which made it easier for you and you could leave your vape at home as you didn't feel the urge to use it. I mean if you don't need it for hours when you're at training you aren't addicted, you can always stop when you want too. While you where finding coming to training easy and adjusting to the lifestyle and play style Barcelona had the one thing you couldn't do was Spanish. You were never good at school with languages so when you were forced during school you never paid attention as no matter what you did it wouldn't stick in to your head so why bother trying?. But now you find yourself sat in the canteen, headphones in, with duolingo open on your phone and safe to say it wasn't going well. That stupid bird telling you not to lose your streak was making you want to throw your phone across the room as it was so frustrating to think you were getting the hang of it then all of a sudden you would have no lives left and have to wait half an hour.

Mapi spotted you from the other side of the room as she saw you hunched over a chair fork in one hand phone in the other and you look rather stressed fro what was meant to be a relaxing part of the day. she waltzed her way over to you and patted your back which you responded by removing your airpods "hola chica what are you doing?" she questioned you "i'm trying to learn your stupid language however i'm having no luck and this app isn't helping" you complained to the older woman and she thought for a few seconds before she came up with an idea " how about i teach you, i'm not sure how good ill be but i'm better than bird app" she said which made you laugh at her last remark "yeah that would be great" you responded and you didn't realise but the weight on your shoulders felt lighter by the second "i'll text you later and we can sort something" she said and you nodded sending her a thankful smile.

You and Mapi had decided to meet at your flat as you were only a 20 minute drive away for her and she thought that you would feel more comfortable at your own place than hers. you didn't think to do much as your flat was clean just a few misplaced items around and you assumed mapi wouldn't mind. However what you didn't realise you had left a bottle of your liquid on your kitchen table and before you could even notice it there was a knock at your door. Mapi barreled through the door and you were greeted with a joyous look as she wrapped you in for a hug "hola chica, you ready to learn" she said as she released you from her hug "yeah im ready" you said grimacing as you knew this wasn't going to go well. "we can go into the kitchen" you said as you walked to the kitchen counter as she followed behind you as you set up for your studying session mapi's eyes scanned the room and for someone who didnt seem it she was rather observant especially when her eyes caught a hold of the bottle of liquid and she was curious about why you would own it. She walked over and picked it up "this yours?" she said raising an eyebrow and the panic raised as you turned around internally cursing yourself you had been so careless to leave it out "oh no its not its from my cousin he came and visited the other week he lives out in madrid" you replied to her however it wasnt a full lie your cousin had come visited just that he didnt leave that because it was yours. "he must have forgot it, i'll throw it out after" you said to her and she sent you a reassuring smile believing you.

The spanish lesson was going exactly as you thought it was going to go and suprisingly Mapi wasnt a bad teacher you were just a horrible learner "dios mios you need a lot of help" mapi state her hand on her face as you couldn't even say half the words she was trying to teach you. "right same time next week, however we are going to learn the words for needing football" she said in broken english as she pat your back. She stood up getting ready to leave as you followed her out to let her out the door as you waved her goodbye. Once the door was closed you internally cursed yourself and you got so lucky that Mapi had belived you otherwise you truly would have been into shit and maybe even in serious trouble.

You and Mapi had fallen into a routine and your spanish was improving which you were happy about and over that time you guys had become closer than ever. You had even given her a key as you trusted her more than anyone else on the team even over the younger ones. Since then you had been gaining more and more playing time and you were finally rewarded with a place in the starting XI. standing in the tunnel made you were rather nervous as you had never been here before you were normally on the bench. The game was going well for you, you were keeping possession on the ball rather well and you had made some solid tackles and you were proving why you had been signed however things turned south when you were tracking the striker of Athletico when she decided to play dirty and instead of trying to push the ball out her feet she tried to be sneaky and clip your heel to get an advantage out of you but she mistimed her placement and stood right onto your ankle leaving you stumbling to the floor as you heard and felt the crack as you cried out in pain rolling on the floor.

As you lay there on the grass tears fell and you have never felt so small in your life as the girls ran towards you mapi was the first by your side as Alexia protested to the ref that the striker deserved a red card yet it was clear she wasn't listening. The medics ran to the pitch to help mapi didn't leave your side as she held your hand and refused to let you go as she needed to know you were going to be okay. You finally managed to get up with one arm wrapped around the medic the other around mapi as the fans clapped you off the pitch and into the tunnel. As you sat in the medical room you prayed it wasn't as serious as it felt because the pain you were experiencing surely was exceeding the pain scale. You were put through so many scans time felt different every minute felt more like an hour to you.

"Y/N we can confirm you have broken your ankle you will be out for 3 months at the shortest time possible but until month 2 you wont be able to complete any rehab you need to rest and ice it" the team medic began to talk to you and you nodded aimlessly as you zoned out as the thought of 3 months of the pitch made you feel neausous. He handed you a pair of crutches and you then realised you had no way home as you couldnt drive luckily you managed to call mapi before she had already left the stadium. " hey maps would you be able to take me home i broke my ankle they confirmed it" you said trying to hold back tears " yeah of course carino i'll come meet you" she said hanging up the phone and racing to find you.

Mapi arrived and wrapped you into a rather awkward hug as you were stood with crutches yet that didnt stop the older woman as you cried into her shoulder. " i can't do this maps, i really cant" you sobbed into her shoulder it was practically unintelligable yet she heard you, she always did. "you can it might not feel like you can but i know you can and you'll be back on the pitch in no time" she said to you and the tone she spoke she made you feel like you could do this even when you wanted to move back home and retire at 18.

The drive back to your flat was quiet, you had de-attached all your emotions and you stared out the window to the streets of Barcelona as the radio gently played in the background. It was a gentle hand on your leg that snapped you out of your trance like state "we're home chica" Mapi said in an almost whisper tone and with that sad smile on her face, you had to get used to looking at that facial expression as it seemed that's all people thought about, pity. She helped you out of her car and up the stairs of your apartment block "just text me if you need anything and i'll be here, i have a key so i'm not afraid to break in if you blank me" she said with a serious look on her face which put a slight smile on your face "i will, thanks mapi i really appreciate it" you replied to her with genuine gratitude to the Spaniard as right now she was the closest you can get some sort of family. Once the door was closed you couldn't hold yourself together as the tears began to fall, it was almost cathartic as you let out all the emotions you had been holding back as you replayed the moment in your head trying to think of a way you could have avoided the injury.

After 20 minutes your crying had subsided to sniffles when you decided to ring your mam, talking to her just made everything feel easy again. For the next two weeks you were on strict rest and you were practically locked into your flat, it was like isolation of Covid all over again. You mainly spent your time in bed with your ankle propped up against a pillow or outside on your balcony with your vape. It was the only thing that you felt gave you a sense of stability and control. Maybe that's what you needed most control .you couldn't control the fact you were injured and you can't control anything about your recovery other than showing up.

Your first week of being on rest felt anything like a rest you were restless and sick of being stuck in one place and you had now opted for taking naps when needed which meant you were up at the early hours of the morning sat on your balcony watching the people outside or just taking in the view. It was rather theraputic while you couldn't do anything watching other peoples little moments especially when it was a group of young drunken girls dancing down the streets, it reminded you of home and what you gave up to be here which helped with motivating you to come back stronger and even better.

It was a Tuesday when it all happened, it was a normal day at first you sat and watched netflix and drank coffee until you were bored. Normally Mapi texted you when she came over too see you which was nearly every day and sometimes she would bring ingrid or one of the younger girls you were friends with. However today she didn't text you maybe it slipped her mind but she didn't think it would have been an issue when she decided to bring some dinner round for you as ingrid had cooked extra pasta and she thought you would appreciate it. When she arrived to your door she used her key to let herself in which she always did, the two of you were way past the knocking stage. The living room was empty and there was no sound of tv coming from your bedroom but there was a faint glow of light from outside so she knew you would be there, you once briefly mentioned you sit outside to take your mind off things. She dropped off the pasta in the kitchen and then began to pad her way over to the balcony doors.

You didn't hear the lock opening or the sounds of footsteps inside. You were sat with your laptop open on some shitty youtube documentary about true crime that you were only half paying attention to as you inhaled the vapor when your balcony door cracked open and a familar voice rang in your ears "hola guppa i just come round to drop off some food ingird made..." Mapi began speaking as her eyes scanned you as you exhaled the vapor from your mouth as the vape was clearly in your hand "Y/N what are you doing?" she said as the conversation changed and you knew there was no easy way getting out of this but god you were going to try. "nothing just watching my laptop" you began "i can see that but i more meant what is in your hand" she deadpanned to you as you were trapped in this conversation, like figureitavly and literally trapped you knew you had to come clean to it "ermm.. it's nothing" you said back as you didn't want to admit to it "mhm the vape in your hand is nothing right?" she questioned you.

"okay fine you caught me yeah it is" you admitted as you struggled to look at her "how long has it gone on" she asked "since i was 16 but its not a problem i can quit whenever" you started to ramble but mapi was quick to cut you off " okay then hand it over" with her hand stretched out to you "no its the only thing keeping me slightly sane at the minute" you retorted back to her " seems like you're addicted and can't quit whenever" she said looking at you disapprovingly which made you cave " okay fine" you snapped and shoved the small device into her hand "good now tell me where the rest of it is, if you tell me now i won't get the team involved otherwise you would be in serious bother" it was almost an threat that was far too risky to take. " the rest is in my bedroom stand and the top kitchen draw on the right" you said and she just nodded at you as she left the balcony to raid your draws of where your best kept secret lied.

She threw all of the liquid and pods into her bag as well as your vape and it was like a part of you had been took away from you "we start now and you'll be vape free forever" she said and you just blankly stared as you couldn't think of lasting forever without another go of a vape. " also you're coming to live with me and Ingrid till you are better because you need someone to take you to rehab soon" she said with a tone that left no room for arguing. "I'll help you pack and we'll get through this together no matter what" she said as she began to leave you alone again in your flat "see you tomorrow " you said to her and gave her a slight wave " Goodnight chica" and with that she left your flat with a new mission not just get you through rehab but over an addiction she never you had to begin with.

Moving into Mapi's was one of the best choices you had made as rehab was hard not seeing any progress constantly and just being miserable which put you in a bad mood but quitting was even harder as every time things became stressful and tense the need for nicotine rushed through your body to calm you down yet you had no access to anything and it felt like your body was missing something. In an effort to cheer you up when you had reached the milestone of being able to run she decided that the team should go out drinking for a few hours. Safe to say you were estatic and you wasted no time getting changed into black jeans and a matching silk button up. I mean the next best thing to nicotine was alcohol in your mind, so when you pulled up to the club your first round was buying shots for you jana and vicky who were also in the same boat as you were,get drunk as fast as possible.

In the process of downing your 4th shot of vodka you noticed a girl who looked around your age checking you out " you like what you see?" you questioned as you flexed your biceps cockily "mmm i did but i don't like girls with an attitude" she quipped back which almost left your jaw hanging open " i don't usually but something about vodka makes me wayy to confident, if you stick around a bit longer i'll show you i'm more than what you see maybe even let you touch" you said winking at her. "i'll take you up on that offer" she responded and swiftly pulled you to the dance floor as her hips grinded agaisnt yours, you were just lucky it was crowded and mapi couldn't see what was going on.

"wanna come outside with me" the blonde slurred into your ear "mhm lead the way gorgeous" you replied taking her hand that was waiting for yours. The fresh Barcelona air hit you and it was refreshing compared to the humid air of inside the club but as you turned around you saw her have a hit of her a vape and it made you crave the nicotine more than ever "want a go?" she questioned with her eyebrow raised at you. "erm yeah sure one go won't hurt" you said as you grabbed the device and put to your lips a wave of guilt hit you but you were drunk out of your mind so you took a hit and it just felt so much better and made you question why you were even trying to quit.

Meanwhile Mapi was searching the crowd and couldn't see your face as she was trying to tell you the uber was going to pick the 3 of you up in 15 minutes, so she went to ask jana and vicky if they had seen you "have you seen Y/N?" she questioned the younger girls " she's not with us but we saw her go outside with this girl 10 minutes ago" jana replied and didnt understand when mapi bolted off to the doors to outside as she hoped to god you weren't doing what she thought you were.

The outside doors flew open and her eyes had never found you so fast leant against a wall laughing with a girl who was clearly passing you a vape into your hand. Mapi was at least kind enough to walk over casually as you were old enough to not be publicly embarrassed as it was clear you were drunk as you hand swayed when dramatically recounting a story to the girl. Her arm slid around your waist to keep you from running away from her as she knew you would bolt "hey chica, hope i'm not interrupting but we need to head of home now" she said as you looked at her clearly dazed off into some other place "awh really i'm having a good time" you pouted back at the older girl "yes carino now say goodbye to your new friend" mapi said sending an apologetic smile to the other girl as she helped you back through the club you turned around and mouthed to the blonde girl "call me later " with your hand gestured like a phone which made her laugh.

The next morning you woke with the worse hangover you think you'd ever experienced as that was hard to top after the hangover you had from yr11 leavers where you had thrown up 15 times. Ingrid had been kind enough to bring you a glass of water and some paracetamol which would hopefully dull some of the ache in your head. Before heading into the kitchen you threw on one of Mapi's old training tops and made your way to breakfast bar however being half asleep meant you did walk into the kitchen door which was signaled with a loud thud and a groan from you which made mapi smile even if she was mad at you.

"How are you feeling?"Mapi asked "like i just got ran over by a bus i don't even remember half of it" you confessed which now made Mapi slightly less mad at you as i mean your drunken self wasn't going to have the control of saying no and the girl who you found out was called eden wasn't to blame and she had no idea that you were trying to quit. "last night i caught you vaping but it's clear you didn't do it with the intention to go against quitting so i'll let you off but next time i'm going to have buy you a kiddies leader to keep you in my sight" she said joking and ruffling your already tangled hair. "oh shit i'm so sorry i really don't remember it" you responded feeling guilt through your body "its okay pequna you made a mistake you're human" she said smiling at you.

Since your slip up at the club you did continue talking to eden during your recovery and she was really sweet. You even brought her round to mapi's a few times with her and ingrid getting on really well and you eventually asked her to be your girlfriend the week you had been cleared to join back at team training. Things were good, really good, you had a new support system in spain and things were falling into place. While you were a bit rusty the first week back at training you were back to yourself putting in amazing performances during training putting your defensive skills on display.

After training you were asked to hang back as pere wanted to speak to you "Y/N i'm delighted to say that you have put the work in and you're going to be on the bench the next game" he told you and shook your hand "Gracias this really means a lot" you smiled at him and he dismissed you back to the changing room. To say you were excited was an understatement you skipped back to the changing room and you noticed it was just mapi and ingrid in the room soo you did the first thing you could think off "I'M BACK ON THE BENCH" you shouted and ran to mapi who embraced you in a hug with ingrid quick to join the huddle "we're so proud of you" mapi said pressing a kiss to your forehead.

Game day had rolled around quicker than you had expected and you made sure that eden had a ticket in the family and friends section to come and watch you even though you weren't garanteed to play. You smiled all the way through warm ups and sent a cheeky wave to eden which she gladly returned. The crowd roared when your name was mentioned on the list of girls on the bench and it felt like you were back at home,where you needed to be, where you belonged. It was the 60th minute when you were called to warm up down the side with esme to come onto the pitch and as you ran down the side lines applauding to the fans you were estatic to be back. When you were called back to the bench to lace up and take your bib off you felt the surge of adrenaline and nerves rush through you but you were ready.

As you looked up to the subs board you saw you were swapping for Mapi which you weren't suprised about she was having a good performance but since you had gotten injured her minutes had increased rapidly so to giver her break you came onto the pitch. Once she had walked up to you she wrapped you in a hug and whispered into your ear "i'm so proud of you chica now go and play some football" which made you tear up a little bit but you wouldn't tell anyone that.

For the next 30 minutes you had never worked so hard in your life, you put everything into every sprint into every pass and into to every perfectly timed tackle. When the final whistle blew you were quick on your heels to see mapi and ingrid and the rest of your team smothered you in love and praise especially jana and vicky who were recounting your sliding tackle like it was some scene out of an action movie but there was one more person you needed to see. You jogged over to your now girlfriend and planted a kiss on her lips "you played so well amor "she said to you as she leant over the barrier " thank you bebe i couldn't have done it without you" you responded and taking your shirt off to hand it to the older girl " a souvenir for you my lady" you said winking "i thought you only said you were cocky when you were drunk" she responded laughing "hmmm times change" you responded shrugging your shoulders.

And in that moment everything just felt right as you stood taking in the atmosphere and how 3 months ago you didn't think you would have been back here considering that night mapi barged into your flat you finger was hovering over buying a one way ticket back to england. But barcelona was your home now and one that you could see yourself sticking around in for a while especially with your girlfriend your friends and most of mapi the girl who had stuck around the whole time through thick and thin.

A/N- this isn't proof read so sorry if there's any mistakes (just ignore them) but this took me ages to write so hope you enjoyed it.

#woso x reader #woso #woso imagines #woso blurbs #barca femeni #mapi leon #woso community #woso fanfics #ingrid engen #barca femini x reader

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jaegeraether · 5 days ago

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The Runaway - Chapter 1 (Alexia Putellas x original character slow-burn)

Jae's Masterlist

CHAPTER 1

DELANEY

In the world of female football, there had been only one name on everyone’s lips for the last three years. Delaney Baker. That was for many reasons. In her three-year professional career, the Australian had two A-League championship trophies and after she’d received a phone call from billionaire businesswoman Michele Kang herself, she’d moved to London to help Kang’s London City Lionesses get promoted into the WSL.

Beyond that, there was her character. Not only was she well-spoken, charismatic and humble, but the thirty-year-old was unstoppable on the field. Unstoppable to the point where a game without scoring a hat-trick was considered a bad game for her.

She had it all – a strong left foot, strong right foot, a playmaking ability beyond her experience, a high football IQ, precision and leadership. Unfortunately, regardless of her talent, there was a lot of scepticism about her popularity.

There were a few reasons for this. One – football hadn’t been her life, having only gone professional three years back. And two, was because she had only played in the A-League in Australia, and the second-tier league, The Championship, in the UK, which were both seen as much less competitive than other leagues such as the WSL, NWSL, and Liga F.

For Delaney, she didn’t mind about the noise. She’d always been raised with the ability to block out the negativity.

She drank her Powerade to soothe her thumping headache from the drunken night before, having celebrated a successful promotion for the Lionesses into the WSL. She wished she was rude enough to wear her sunglasses inside but alas, she was not.

Smiling to the press in front of her, she was given her next question.

“Aren’t you worried that you’ll be battered in the NWSL?”

Her smile didn’t falter. “I’ve heard the NWSL is a great competition, but I’m unsure where I’m going just yet. I move from goal to goal. My first was to bring more attention to the A-League in Australia which I feel proud of. My goal this year was to help the Lionesses get promoted into the WSL, which we succeeded at, as is evident by my current state...” That comment earnt several chuckles from the press. “From there on, I’ll assess where I can best help, regardless of its stigma.”

This Australian mentality she had was not so easily understood by football fanatics outside of her country. In Europe, they had an unwavering dedication and obsession with whichever team was theirs. Delaney had never been that way. She appreciated teams, of course, but primarily she appreciated individual players, and the growth of women’s football in general. The feeling of being helpful fulfilled her more than anything else.

“Is it a wise decision?” Another reporter asked. “I mean, you’re a great player, but you’re in the end of your career. Would it not be smarter to stay dominant in Australia and retire there?”

It was the typical opinion that most people had these days. All she could do, was repeat herself and hold strong her position. “I do acknowledge that I started playing professional football late in life, but I don’t see my age as any reason to impact my ambition or decisions. I’m in good form, I feel strong, and I like challenges. I like to think I’ve accomplished what I can here and would like to move on to whichever team would like the support.”

“There are rumours of Portland, Arsenal, Bayern, Chelsea or another season with London City. Which one will it be?”

She was a little surprised that he hadn’t mentioned the Barcelona coach saying publicly that she was a “social media trend” and “wasn’t needed” there. It was said condescendingly, but their team was already full of superstars, and she justified the comment as a language barrier in her mind. Regardless of how much she would have loved to train amongst the best in the world at Barca, she’d never go somewhere she wasn’t wanted.

Another fact about Delaney, was that she was never secretive unless necessary. “I won’t be playing for the Lionesses next year. I’ve already had a conversation with Michele about it, and we’re parting ways on a happy note. However, I haven’t made a decision on my next move.”

She tried not to laugh at the several shocked expressions at her nonchalance.

“You don’t have a contract?”

“There are several options that I’m considering.”

“What is there to consider?”

“For me personally, I’m in the midst of visiting clubs to get a feel of the atmosphere. I won’t move to a club that don’t treat their players well or have a mentality that I don’t agree with.”

Silence. And then… “Aren’t you worried?”

“Not at all. I’m happy to wait for the right door to open. For now, I’m focusing on the upcoming friendlies with my Aussie girls.”

The rest of the press conference was a bit louder, and more chaotic. She’d finished her entire electrolyte drink and had to ask for painkillers just to get through the strong opinions being thrown her way.

ALEXIA

For the first time in her career, Alexia would be playing against Delaney Baker, the girl that nobody would stop talking about. She’d done well for herself, having several high-value sponsorships and bringing attention to teams and leagues that needed it. Alexia respected that. There was also something else about her that was so… attractive.

At first, Alexia had tried not to Google her. It hadn’t worked. Not when Delaney kept appearing in clips and interviews and training photos, looking like a dream someone else had, and she’d only just remembered. After she’d slipped the first time, she found herself always stopping to watch her videos, interviews and highlights, without any idea as to why, as Alexia was never the type to do this, especially when it was in English.

Today though, she was interested to see what it would be like to share a field with her.

Spain and Australia never had friendlies, primarily due to the geographical distance, but with most of the Australians now playing in Europe, it had finally worked out.

Delaney wasn’t in the starting line-up, which was very common for her. She seemed to have a natural game analysis ability which meant that she was usually standing where she was right now, next to the coach. Alexia couldn’t help but watch as he asked her a question and she responded, gesturing to players. This was not a usual thing in their world. There was a large separation between the coaching staff and players in every team Alexia had played for. She would have assumed it was because Australia seemed to be struggling to find a permanent coach that they wanted, however she’d done this with all her other clubs too.

She tilted her head as she watched her, able to tell that she was explaining something to him. It was never a condescending way at all – she seemed to have the ability to be involved in anything without coming across as controlling, but rather curious and compassionate.

She’d said as much in her interview. She’d also said that after analysing the first part of the match, she would only come onto the field if she felt she “would be useful to the team or strategy they’re implementing.”

Watching her now, the Spaniard hoped that would be the case because while watching her, there began a tingling in her body that built the longer she-

-Alexia caught her breath before shaking the feeling off—she had never been one to stare, but for a brief moment, Delaney’s presence anchored her attention. Her own thoughts felt foreign, like she had misplaced them as the Australian’s quiet confidence reached her from across the field. She shouldn’t have been watching her this much. She knew that. But Delaney had a way of drawing her attention like it was borrowed — and she wasn’t ready to give it back.

The whistle blew, tearing her attention away from the Australian as play resumed. At half time, Alexia was confident with her team. Spain was up 3-0 and taking advantage of the injuries in their midfield. She’d expected Delaney to come on at half-time, but she didn’t. Instead, a few other players were subbed in for fresh legs. It slowed down Spain’s ability to score, but the Spanish coach, Montserrat, didn’t see this as a reason to sub any Spanish players just yet.

In the 64th minute, Delaney was began warming up. Alexia knew this, because of the sudden excitement of the European crowd, which was surprising. Nothing she was doing was specifically to get attention, but she did smile almost embarrassed. Alexia’s heart skipped a beat, and her bodily reaction immediately frustrated her. She wanted to find something about this woman she didn’t like. Anything.

In the 75th minute, she was subbed on to even louder cheers. Unsurprisingly, she was fouled on her first touch of the ball, with Olga Carmona barrelling into her, her elbow connecting with her eye and earning a yellow. Alexia cringed at the sight of Delaney’s split eyebrow. She was taken off-field for butterfly stitches and to clear the blood away while play resumed.

With a yellow as a warning, Olga needed to be careful. Unfortunately, it meant she was too careful, and the Australians managed to push up into the box, the Spaniards defending for their lives. Just because they were leading by three goals did not mean they wanted to give any away.

Caitlin Foord struck a hard ball towards the goal and Cata tipped it with her gloves. The ball hit the crossbar so fast that when it rebounded, it landed outside the box. Alexia turned to chase and was caught off guard by the figure of Delaney striking the ball at full stride.

Without even turning, she knew that no one had a chance of stopping it. There was the sound of the ball hitting the net, and then… the shouting started. The automatic reaction of the Spanish team against the referee who had allowed her to come back into play at such a vital moment.

Alexia knew it wasn’t illegal though. She was all patched up, and she had sprinted over from the touch line. Nevertheless, she’d already made an impact on the supposed “friendly.”

3-1 Spain.

Play started again from the centre, with the Spanish managing to push up close to the box again almost immediately. When they were within shooting distance, the mentality changed from their coach’s instructions of “stay on Delaney” to “let’s score.” Delaney forgotten, most players focus was on the ball which was ping-ponging towards the goal and back by either the goalkeeper or the Australian defenders throwing their body at it.

At this point in games, it would go one of two ways. Either the defenders would clear and there would be a quick rebound for the opposite team, or there would be a goal. Usually, it was the latter. This time though… Alanna Kennedy from Matildas managed to clear to Steph Catley, who was the current Matildas Captain. She spotted Delaney somehow forgotten in the middle and sent the ball her way.

Panic ensued. The Spaniards started backtracking, fast. There were none faster than Mapi Leon and Ona Batlle who both managed to get up either side of her, but at this point, Delaney was sprinting through the midfield, dodging left and right like she was playing FIFA.

Alexia heard Montserrat yelling from the boundary line. She had been yelling since they’d shifted their focus away from her.

Delaney ran straight into the box, flicking the ball up and over Ona as she slid through, dodging Mapi on the left, she slid the ball home through Cata’s legs to a crowd who were half outraged and half in awe.

3-2 Spain.

She’d been on the field less than ten minutes, with half of that time being patched up. Alexia could feel her frustration building and yelled towards her players to keep to the strategy.

She made eye contact with Delaney for the first time in her life and if she hadn’t seen it, she wouldn’t have known she’d just scored an outrageous solo goal. The Australian gave an empathetic look and returned to her position.

Who was this girl? And why did she seem to not care? It’s not like she wasn't passionate, she absolutely was. But to barely react beyond a thank you and high five to her team was not something she’d ever seen.

For some reason Alexia’s inability to understand evolved into frustration.

When they started again from the middle, she took it upon herself to control the ball. This meant fighting Delaney. Both were immediately at the ball, fighting for possession and getting up close and personal with each other. It’s the closest she’d ever been to her, and the smell of perfume… was something she certainly shouldn’t be focussing on.

The rest of the players seemed to be hanging back to see what would happen as the two grabbed onto one another, stealing the ball and losing it continuously as they danced around the midfield – both letting it play out between them rather than pass to a teammate. Alexia had control of the ball, using her body to block Delaney who, in a sneaky move, slipped under her arm, using Alexia’s unbalanced position to kick the ball free and get a head start towards it. She tried to grab her, but Delaney was already gone, passing the ball back to a midfielder who felt that pushing forward was the right move.

Alexia caught Delaney, making it her intention to not let her get any free movement, which must have surprised her because she spun, eyes widening at the sight and tripped backwards as Alexia barrelled into her. They fell, Alexia landing on top of her body hard, both just as surprised as the other. Their eyes met, which was just enough to make Alexia pause as she noted her blue eyes, the sweat dappled onto her forehead, the pinkness in her cheeks and her slightly parted mouth as she regained her breath.

Their bodies were tangled on the grass, and for a moment, Alexia felt the weight of Delaney's breath against her lips, too close, too intimate. She could hear the thudding of her own heart, and yet she couldn’t move, couldn’t break the gaze between them that felt like an eternity. In that split second, she had a feeling—something deep, something inexplicable. She was so beautiful, Alexia found herself frozen on the spot.

Delaney broke their moment first, her eyes flicking away and filling with worry. In the second that Alexia tried to get up, she felt arms moving around her, their bodies entangling further as Delaney rolled herself on top and put her arms around Alexia’s head. She felt her cheek touch the Australians neck, her own hands grasping onto her shirt, ready to push her off when suddenly a pack of players hit them. The sound of body on body was brutal as Alexia realised that Delaney was taking the brunt of it for her.

She was protecting her.

Alexia felt a cleat on her thigh, ripping it open, and the sound of feet around them. Delaney was hit several times, knocking her body around and her head into Alexia’s. Her heart sunk as she heard her whimper in pain.

The whistle was blown and the Australian whispered “Sorry” as she rolled off her with a groan.

“Is everyone okay?!” The referee asked. Players were all around them, some with injuries and some there to help. Alexia saw the gash on her leg, the blood seeping out and turned to Delaney who was clutching her head and already being attended to by the medics. They tenderly pulled up her shirt, giving Alexia a good view of the damage done to her back. She shivered.

“Are you okay?” The medics are her in Spanish.

“Yes, just my leg.”

“You’re lucky it was only that!”

She looked at Delaney’s back again, which seemed to be bruising already. “Yes, I am.”

After they’d fallen, a few midfielders had stumbled through in a group, trampling on one another. The referee stopped play for at least six of them to be patched up. One of the younger Spanish players, Athenea del Castillo had to leave the game entirely with a twisted ankle.

Alexia couldn’t stop looking at the back of Delaney. The Spaniard had been the stupid one, barging into her and knocking her over, and yet, she’d protected her. Alexia felt a strange pressure in her chest when the medics swarmed over Delaney. The instinct to help tugged at her, even though she knew it wasn’t her place. She hadn’t realized how much she cared until the sight of Delaney’s blood made her breath catch in her throat.

She shook her head, hoping it would rid herself of the conflicting emotions bubbling up, and turned her attention back to the medics bandaging her thigh.

There was still a game to finish.

She made sure her team was okay before play of this overly aggressive “friendly” resumed. Unsurprisingly, the heat hadn’t died down. There was only ten minutes left, after all.

Spanish players kept their focus on Delaney, which made Alexia feel uneasy and conflicted. The poor girl was already battered to a ridiculous point.

She stayed close to her as possible in an attempt to protect her. Her shirt in her hand whenever they were close, their bodies against each other. It reassured her for some reason.

At the end of the game, though, Alexia had tired. She’d played from the very first minute, and Delaney was on much fresher legs.

She managed to get away from her as the Australian defence pushed up. Somehow, she was on the far right of the field, running into the box and yelling to Steph, pointing to where she wanted it. Steph kicked the ball from the centre line, long and high towards the box. Delaney flew, her body leaping so high into the air, that her hip was at Cata’s head. Cata, in frustration, made a dumb decision. Eyes off the ball, she shoved her shoulder into Delaney’s waist and dumped her onto the ground head first. The ball flew straight over them, the crowd even against Cata’s decision.

The referee blew the whistle and ran over, hand reaching into her pocket. Cata had her hands out, arguing against it. But Alexia wasn’t looking at her. She was looking at the battered Australian on the ground, who was rolling in pain. She’d landed on her head and shoulder which she was clutching. Delaney was never one to stay on the ground.

Alexia automatically ran over to defend her player. It was her job as Captain, after all.

“What were you thinking?! Are you stupid?!” Caitlin yelled as she got in Cata’s face. Steph pulled her back and began talking to the referee.

“That has to be a red card. It has to! Look at her!” Steph accused.

Alexia’s gaze moved to where she was pointing. Delaney, seemingly stubborn, was pushing herself back to her feet.

“No red,” Alexia defended without any confidence in English. “It was player… playing…”

Alexia was always highly regarded by referees and players. She saw respect in their eyes when they looked at her. But she could always tell when a referee had made a decision.

Alexia went to open her mouth again and a hand touched her arm softly.

“It’s okay.” Delaney reassured… her? She turned to the referee. “No red… it’s okay. It was my fault.”

The response was shock. “What?”

“It was just a playing incident. We both went for the ball. Just let us play on. This is what the sport is about after all. We’re here for the fans.”

Cata and Alexia went silent with shock.

The referee made an exasperated sound as she looked from Alexia to Delaney who was still clutching her shoulder. “Well, I must admit, this is a first. A straight red or a yellow with a penalty. Make a decision between the two of you.”

Steph Catley stepped forward and Delaney shook her head to stop her. She looked straight at Alexia.

“Whatever la Reina wants. Red or yellow?”

Alexia’s decision? Her jaw flexed as she looked at her kind expression, clearly trying to hide her pain. The split on her eyebrow had opened again, blood trickling down her face. The medics had just then arrived and began cleaning it.

“Are you okay to continue?” They asked her.

“Yes,” she murmured without hesitation, and without taking her eyes from Alexia’s.

Alexia looked at Cata with a disappointed expression. Cata looked guiltily back. She deserved a red. But she was the Captain and needed to defend her players.

“Yellow…. with penalty.”

The referee looked like she didn’t agree but lifted the yellow card and made the penalty gesture. The crowd sounded stunned. Alexia looked back at Delaney who gave her a knowing smile, as if she’d just worked something out about her.

Alexia knew Delaney shouldn’t have still be on the field with that shoulder, but she didn’t tell the referee. Delaney wanted them to play? They’d play.

She was given the ball to take the penalty and as everyone was getting into position outside of the box, she turned it over in her hand. And then she did another unthinkable thing.

“Kyra..” She called.

Kyra ran over, confused. There were only a few minutes left in the game, and she wanted one of their youngest players to take the penalty?

Delaney handed her the ball and walked with her up to the mark, murmuring in her ear as they went, Kyra nodding as she listened to Delaney instructing her on how to take the penalty. There was no panic in her – the calm she exuded was the kind of leadership Alexia always felt she had and for a moment, that connection flared again. Why did she care so much?

Kyra looked nervous, but Delaney looked confident. Proud. As if there was nothing that would result in anything but Kyra scoring.

Kyra nodded and Delaney walked back over the line, analysing Kyra rather than preparing to run in. That was real leadership.

Alexia watched as Kyra stared at the spot to the right of Cata, with a nervous expression. She caught herself looking. Stopped. Got scared. Looked back at the right. Cata smiled. She knew exactly where the youngster was putting it. She teased and intimidated her by jumping up and down on the spot.

Kyra’s eyes landed back on that spot. She lined up. The whistle blew. She took her penalty kick. Cata lunged.

And Kyra kicked it the opposite direction to where she’d been staring.

The ball hit the back of the net, and she turned, grinning with pride and cheekiness. She pointed to Delaney to acknowledge her as the Australian girls swarmed.

3-3. Tie.

The game ended like that. No one had any more chances within the next few minutes. The Spaniards were tired, but still managing to hold off the Australians.

The final whistle blew, and everybody took a breath. Alexia shook everyone’s hands, realising too slowly that Delaney wasn’t there. She looked around and saw the medics walking with her towards the changing rooms, clutching her shoulder.

Her stomach sunk. She’d hoped she would have had the chance to talk to her. Swap jerseys. Anything, just to get to know her better.

Delaney looked over her shoulder as if she knew she was watching and smiled. Right then, Alexia knew her world had changed.

((Let me know if you like this as I already have the next 5 chapters written. :) )

#woso #womens football #woso community #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso soccer #barca femeni #fc barcelona #alexia putellas

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howtofightwrite · 1 year ago

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Most traditional boxing instructors will tell you that if the opponent is taller than you, has longer arms than you, or is heavier than you, you're fucked and you need to stay extremely aware and work really hard to compensate for all the advantage he has over you.

In a recent forensic survey, it was determined that most traditional boxing instructors who get into real world altercations die when they're shot in the head.

This is the problem with a lot of these kinds of arguments. No one practices traditional boxing. At least, no one does so publicly. How do I know this? Because traditionally boxers fought in the nude. Yeah, we're not seeing that, are we? Now, maybe they meant bare knuckle boxing, but really no one does that either, these days. Boxing without safety equipment is not a particularly good idea, for fairly obvious reasons.

The only reason the word, “traditional,” is in the ask is to lend their statement unearned credibility. It's an attempt to make their statement sound more authoritative, without offering any evidence to support the statement.

Who said that?

“Traditional people did.”

Okay, but, 'traditionally,' people cleaned shit off their ass with a stick. So, maybe appealing to Hellenic sports isn't the best gauge of how a fight will play out.

Also, I know I just said it, but, who are these authoritative sports guys? Because they're not named. We're simply told, “most,” of them agree. Which starts to sound a lot like “four out of five dentists agree.” Who are these instructors? What do they teach? Why are the currently in prison for indecent exposure? And how much did you pay them to get their uninformed opinion? Salient questions which may need to be answered, if the original question wasn't invalid on its face.

Why do I say it's invalid?

Because boxing isn't fighting.

Boxing is a sport.

Boxing has rules.

Kick your opponent in the groin, or shin, and you're punished.

Step on their foot, push them, and watch them tumble to the ground before you start stomping on them, and you'll be punished.

Throwing your opponent will be punished.

And of course, as mentioned at the top, pulling out a gun and expanding your opponent's mental horizons is extremely frowned upon.

These are all things that can happen in a real fight.

These are all things that do not benefit from increased height or reach.

There is one genuinely accurate statement. In a fight, you do need to be very aware of what's going on around you. Everything else is the product of someone who's been punched in the head repeatedly until the CTEs got them thinking that boxing is analogous to a real fight in any way. (And, statistically, will probably end their career sitting in a jail cell over an aggravated assault charge, because their emotional self-control was completely destroyed by those same head injuries.)

The rules that boxers need to follow are designed to (somewhat) protect the participants. It reduces the dangers of a boxer being killed in the ring. In an observation that I would hope to be self-evident, those rules don't exist in actual combat.

It's also amusing, because the original Asker had to go so far as to single out an ill-defined, “traditional” boxing, because no other martial art they checked gave them the soundbite they wanted.

And, of course, women box. Historically, you could say, “traditionally,” there were even boxing matches between men and women. It wasn't until the 1880s that women were excluded from competitive boxing in the UK. (I'm not sure of the exact date when women were banned from boxing in the US, though that prohibition lasted for less than a century, before the modern return of women to the sport.)

So, either these “traditional instructors” don't know the history of their own sport... which doesn't sound particularly “traditional” to me, or they're full of shit.

My advice to everyone would be, maybe, don't take the advice of a sports coach about how he's secretly an absolute badass in all the delusional fantasies he's cooked up about how he'd like to inflict violence on others because they wouldn't date him.

-Starke

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#writing reference #writing advice #writing tips #how to fight write #starke answers

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bidisharay · 3 months ago

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interview-skill-coaching · 2 years ago

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savagewildnerness · 8 months ago

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The Vampire Lestat notes...

OK, so I am taking part in a The Vampire Lestat read along on Discord (organised by @old-long-john& @inkyblotposts!)

Don’t expect me to be this in detail every week as I absolutely cannot… but I realised I went SO in detail with my notes/thoughts on my read of the first part that I can’t share it all on Discord! Hahaha! So, instead, I’ll post it here, link it there and maybe you’d like to discuss here too? Look, I don't do things by halves, OK!? So did I write nearly as many notes as there likely are words in this part of the book? Maybe... And...?!?!?!?! But this is my Tumblr and so I can post the notes in full here and what's more, I WILL!

Introduction:

I enjoy how out-of-touch with 'the youth' of the 1980's Lestat sounds and I hope that the TV show retains this in some way. Lestat, of course, would be pretty out of place in the modern era in some ways in how he speaks, particularly given that it seems the majority of the last century he's been hibernating with a plank piano and an iPad..?

Lestat says that "there was a romance" to modern music and I'm so curious if that's how he'll feel about some kind of modern music now, or, whether Lestat’s rock star career will just be 100% about Louis on the TV show?

"the way electricity could stretch a single note forever; the way harmony could be layered upon harmony until you felt yourself dissolving in the sound. So eloquent of dread it was, this music." - This reads to me like a musical description of vampirism?!

It makes me laugh when we juxtapose how Louis and Lestat describe how broken and scared of everything he is in his wilderness years in the books... yet Lestat here is like "Yeah, I was a bit scared... but in THREE DAYS I was roaring around on a motorbike...!" hahahah... I don't know whether to believe you or not, Lestat?! I also note here that it's impossible for Lestat's strength to have increased like it has here in the book on TV as he's already too strong on the show for that!

Quote I thought might be used on the show - "All people had a right to love and to luxury and to graceful things.”

Potential episode title - "Pure evil has no real place."

Surely this quote will be on tv… “It was enough to make an Old World monster go back into the earth, this stunning irrelevance to the mighty scheme of things, enough to make him lie down and weep. Or enough to make him become a rock singer, when you think about it…”

I was interested how Lestat describes how he jams with the musicians. Will The Vampire Lestat's music incorporate old French songs and brutal rhythms - eerie and disjointed music, as Lestat describes his playing?

"When I Iose my confidence, my powers drain." Found that interesting…

We'd better see Lestat standing stock still beneath a street light, whipping through IWTV at an insane speed till he exasperatedly tears it to shreds on TV!

Lestat dreams of "unprecedented rebellion, a great and horrific change to my kind all over the world." !!!

Lestat had better use the phrase "A velvet-lined motor coach" on telly! MAKE IT SO ROLIN! Please!

The ache for Louis Lestat has - for “his romantic illusions”, “his gentlemanly malice and his physical presence, the deceptively soft sound of his voice.”

There's a self-destructive excitement to how Lestat talks of being hunted and known "as no mythic monster has ever been fought by man before.”

Lestat's psychology… “How could I not love it, the mere idea of it? How could it not be worth the greatest danger, the greatest and most ghastly defeat? Even at the moment of destruction, I would be alive as I have never been.”

Lelio Rising.

So first of all… I noted the timeline as I went this time:

Lestat kills the wolves aged 20 (he specifically states that he is 20 on p38 if you have the new UK paperback version of the book… “The Winter of my 21st year” - your first year you are aged 0… when you turn 1 that is your second year. So Lestat’s 21st year is from the day he turns 20 until the day before he turns 21.

As far as I can tell, all of Lelio Rising takes place when Lestat is 20 (apart from the flashbacks when he is younger.) Lestat meets Nicolas and they begin their conversation as Winter turns to Spring in the year he is 20…. He first performs as Lelio in late-August of the year he is 20… and he talks of seeing Magnus in October of that year… soon after which, he is made a vampire. Thus, I think Lestat will have been made a vampire weeks/days before he turns 21. I’d personally like to imagine it happens on Halloween.

Regarding Lestat’s family… Gabrielle has 8 children. The oldest boy is Augustin… there is one girl, but we don’t even know where she came in the birth order. Lestat is the youngest boy. Only one more boy survives… a boy whom for whatever reason, Lestat doesn’t mention by name even once!!?!

How Lestat self-describes: The dreamer, the angry one, the complainer, the hunter, unhappy, ferocious, a wild creature, bitter (haha, I typed BUTTER first!)

OK… on to the chapter!

The book starts describing the Winter and I was struck by how later in the chronicles, Lestat will often dream of this snow and how this bitter Winter is the opposite of death for a vampire - who die in fire or The Sun…

“In the winter of my twenty-first year, I went out alone on horseback to kill a pack of wolves.” Wouldn’t that have been magnificent as the actual first line of the novel?! Just saying…! I mean, it kind of *is* the first line! I wonder if Anne wrote the introduction first, or this?

Lestat being brought back with his wings broken made me see Nicolas’ mind-bird in my mind.

“White-wigged Parisians in high-heeled satin slippers” was so redolent of Louis and Lestat at the Mardis Gras ball in S1 to me.

“Though I speak of them as dogs now, they were known only by their names to me then.” What a beautiful, sideways way of expressing what the dogs meant to Lestat.

I love how hunter-Lestat is described almost like a beast himself and it makes me so excited to see this on screen. I also love the way he understands the wolves’ strategy - thinking like the wolves think. We’re gonna see a FLAIL, folks!

Lestat’s horse’s death is the first truly gothic description…. It always makes me wonder too whether that Lestat found it in himself to kill his horse in mercy for her suffering isn’t as much a reason for Magnus to pay attention to him as the fact that he killed the wolves? Also I’ve begun to notice Anne Rice loves to compare things to insects…

When Augustin says Lestat didn’t kill the wolves, then retracts it & Lestat says the next thing he knew he was lying alone in his room… I mean… it can be read at face value, but I also wonder - is there something that happened here that Lestat doesn’t write? And if so, might the TV show go there?

Breaking the bullet points up as tumblr won't let me post...

I noticed a lot of what Lestat will later seek in his relationships and how he is in relationships in his relationship with Gabrielle. Gabrielle is not a touching-person, but the moments she allows a tiny bit of conversation… it leans into me thinking of Lestat and Nicolas’ conversation… the way she gives him gifts and *things* when he struggles… it creates Lestat the gift-giver, it seems to me…? This is how he is shown love and so this is how he learns to give love. The way withdraws surely creates Lestat’s sense of being “too much” as much as his Father and brother telling him his is ‘wrong’ does?

“I wanted to be enclosed forever with people who believed I could be good if I wanted to be.” - I wonder if the TV show will go down the route of Lestat’s quest for goodness? I hope so! At this time, I think 12-year-old Lestat found goodness in the order of the monastery versus the chaos he felt in the family castle (haha, the family castle!) And I also feel like he felt goodness in being made “ordered” rather than “chaotic” himself. However, I don’t think Lestat would have been happy in the end in so restrictive a place, much as I am sure he would have loved learning.

Gabrielle buys Lestat his first mastiff puppies, a good horse and a rifle when he is 12. She creates Lestat-the-hunter. She later will say she feels Lestat is the man in her, the man she cannot be in this era. And she literally chooses what Lestat will be. She doesn’t teach him to read, even though she knows his curiosity to learn, even from the way he talks. No, she decides the boy will become a hunter and so Lestat does. Becoming a hunter is also something that will bond him more tightly to his home. It’s not something that’s ever going to lead to a route to escape for him. Teaching Lestat to read might have led to Lestat fleeing for Paris far sooner…. I don’t know. Gabrielle will later say she kept Lestat prisoner as surely as his Father and brothers and I really felt that on this re-read…. Even when Lestat runs away with the theatre at 16 and so Gabrielle truly then knows how Lestat wants to escape… what does she buy him? A fancier rifle. A thing to keep him more tightly where he is, hunting here for the family. She begins to talk to Lestat in conversation. But it’s like she’s placating on both sides - so Lestat will stop getting beaten (to keep him here) and so he’ll have just-enough mental stimulation to keep him where he is too: here with her…? I understand it from her perspective. Imagine how alone she’d be otherwise. But it’s interesting to me.

“The silent ebb and flow of life felt deadly to me.” - surely Lestat will say this on TV?

I got annoyed thinking about Lestat playing Harlequin as I read the Commedia Dell’ Arte talking about how an actor plays a single role for life… although… metaphorically, could we say Lestat truly *is* kind of playing Lelio for life once he is immortal?!

After Lestat returns from the theatre, this is when he really begins to despair and to believe he will never be free. I was struck by how he says he becomes more useful in this time. Isn’t it often the way - with no hope for his own future, he sinks into the role of provider and caregiver and the only way he can ‘be good’…. It also makes me think how in the future, when in despair, Lestat will rush to *do* some mad scheme or other.

Hahaha at Lestat valuing his Mother’s physical beauty as having inherent value, the vain little irritant!

I did wonder, when Lestat tells Gabrielle how he dreams of killing his family… given how they have made all the characters worse on the show, I really HOPE they don’t make Lestat LITERALLY kill his family. It crossed my mind that they *could*… PLEASE DO NOT. I don’t think they will as it counters the ensuing conversation, but I had a sudden flash of FEAR!

This conversation though, Gabrielle takes Lestat seriously. She always takes Lestat seriously, which I love her for. Much as I believe Gabrielle doesn’t love Lestat enough… I think it’s probably pretty rare and a very special thing for a parent to take the thoughts of their child and who they are so seriously and not to dismiss them?

Gabrielle seems to love Lestat more now he’s 20 as she can see him as a man rather than as her son. She likes to talk to him as if he were not her son. She hates to be called Mother. She seems to love to feel him as a comrade. And I will say here that if I feel Lestat isn’t loved enough by Gabrielle… his brothers… she literally despises them. I know they seem awful, but imagine not receiving even one iota of love in your entire life from your mother, which must be their experience.

“You don’t have to take upon yourself the burden of murder or madness to be free of this place. Surely there must be other ways.” - This is the spark that makes Lestat first believe he might not have to be obedient in order to be “good”.

I love Gabrielle’s quote “I am purely myself. I belong to no one.”

I love too that even in this introduction we get Lestat the hunter, the killer juxtaposed with Lestat the aesthete and Lestat the thinker, feeler and (he wishes!) learner…

Little break, because my favourite time is now starting - it’s Nicolas time!

Lestat describes Nicolas (at different times) as: a vision, witty, dismissive, sneering, excited, sarcastic, intelligent, melancholy, cynical, bitter, full of energy, passionate, handsome, ironical, sad, scornful, mocking, miserable, weary, dejected.

Will Nicolas say “I too am impossible, Monsieur. Only the impossible can do the impossible.” Surely he will, and surely “Only the impossible can do the impossible” will be the title of the episode where Lestat kills the wolves?

Lovely foreshadowing that Gabrielle says Nicolas was inspired to play violin by watching a virtuoso so impressive people said he sold his soul to the devil and then suggests that maybe Nicki can do the same. “I laughed a little uneasily. It sounded tragic.” Oh Lestat, you have NO IDEA!!!!!

Will Mozart be in S3? I HOPE SO (& think so!!?!). And Marie Antoinette, too! Surely!

Obviously we’ll hear Nicki’s Father was threatening to break his hands for the foreshadowing too!

“I think I loved him already, doing what he wanted like that.” A few pages later… “I think I loved him.” Lestat falls hard and fast, like love at first sight.

I just want to add here that it’s an absolutely ridiculous concept that Nicolas STARTS playing the violin aged 20 and immediately is able to be as good as he gets! He might feel he can never be good enough… but he must be literally a genius if he’s become even that good at the violin when he’d never even picked one up a year ago! How do you think playing an instrument works, Anne?!?!?!?! You just pick it up and instantly - BAM you not only can just do it, but you’re great! If only! And Mozart is willing to take on a complete beginner as a pupil, too?!

In Lestat and Nicolas’ first conversation, it feels to me as though Lestat is infecting Nicolas with his light and optimism and it really made me understand how much Nicolas truly did need Lestat - like he is Nicolas’ hope. Until…. (We’ll return here later in the book!)

I wonder how the fact that Lestat is born in The Enlightenment - a new age of Reason will impact how he is portrayed on the show? Obviously we’ve seen already how it’ll affect Armand!

When Nicolas brings up The Witches’ Place, Lestat doesn’t immediately remember - as if he has repressed the memory as it is traumatic. I need The Witches Place on TV, but I can’t imagine how we can get to it? Nicolas would have either not yet been born or have been a baby when this happened, so he cannot remind Lestat; Gabrielle would absolutely never bring up such a story in retrospect… and Lestat has repressed the memory… so how can we now get to The Witches’ Place? Also, I find it interesting that Lestat says Nicki studies him as they talk about this… to ascertain how Lestat feels about it now?

I spoke of Lestat’s love for Nicolas, but when Nicolas is saying “Ah, you are a dreamer! My lord, the wolfkiller.” It feels Nicolas loves Lestat as well. And of course, Nicolas also says “I love you” to Lestat, in Paris. I love how, in this first conversation they both discover what it is to be truly known by another being - in how they share their lives and their longings and their dissatisfactions and they truly listen to and empathise with each other. It definitely feels like (beyond his Mother, who really was more sporadic in her attention), this is Lestat’s first experience of truly being seen by another being.

“I think I was happier than I had ever been in my life.” Lestat is so joyous here. When he hears Nicolas play for the first time, he kisses Nicolas on both cheeks and then the violin! You can just imagine the infectious joy! And it’s such a contrast to how Lestat is afraid to touch his Mother

Lestat then (of course!) promptly cries! (Is Sam’s Lestat going to burst into tears as often as Lestat describes it, because get him ten thousand gallons of water to drink - he’ll need them!!!! Lestat also cries at the most random moments… but we know Sam is up to the task!) Nicolas seems deeply moved too that his music had this effect. Perhaps Nicolas initially expected to find a kindred spirit in ferocity and rebellion in Lestat? And he did! But he found a match in sensitivity too.

As conversations go on, Lestat and Nicolas find their differences with opposing worldviews and interestingly they often clash about the goodness inherent in art… and yet they then come together in art (for example as Nicki plays violin and Lestat dances…)

The idea to go to Paris actually comes from Nicolas - he is the instigator. And it feels like they are both, at this point trying to escape the meaninglessness of life.

Lestat’s “Oh, oh, oh!” crisis moment really reminds me of… *warning - slight spoiler for first time readers* what Lestat will later see in Nicolas’ mind… and it gives a different vibe to things to know that Nicolas is Lestat’s comforter in this moment and tries to relieve Lestat’s pain, but basically this is Nicolas’ mind 100% of the time.

“It was not better in the morning.” In fact this existential crisis, his malady of mortality becomes Lestat’s eternal yearning ache of questioning than can never be fully assuaged (maybe on the TV show, the answer will be - Louis’ love.) It never goes away, and any time someone describes Lestat as just FUN, I think back to this - because at the core of Lestat (and as I see it, at the core of The Vampire Chronicles) is this terror that existence is meaningless and that no life has any meaning at all. That there are no answers we’ll ever receive, not even when we die. That there will be no retribution or reward or even knowledge in any way. That all there is is existence and non-existence. This will obviously only be heightened once Lestat becomes a vampire, so must take life in order to survive and force countless souls into non-existence…. In in fact, Lestat’s focus on death and chaos has this nihilistic hint to it which is so the opposite to how Lestat is generally perceived.. and, admittedly how he tries to come across, too! Lestat says he doesn’t believe in presentiments, but narratively this all is a presentiment and literally it is to be Lestat’s eternal malady of immortality as well.

I had some very personal thoughts at this point, when Lestat goes about questioning everyone… which perhaps I won’t share…. Well just to say that sometimes when something big happens in your life, you literally see the world in a different way. I am thinking on a time when all of a sudden I began to look at people & it felt like I could *see* the weariness of their souls and internal fragilities, just looking at strangers’ faces and it was really unnerving and overwhelming, especially going about in crowds…

“Drew me as strongly as it scared me.” Isn’t this always the way? I hope the writers always have this quote in mind throughout the entire show’s creation!

It’s interesting that before Lestat heads to Paris he is now toning down how much he tells Gabrielle and instead it is Nicki he will fully open up with.

I love the part where Lestat hugs Gabrielle and she gives herself over to him and he witnesses her cry for the first time and loves it. I had a very similar experience with my Dad once when I was a child, heading into being a teen and I can still conjure the scene and how it felt… and I felt similarly about it too…

At the end of chapter 6 it seems Gabrielle is saying she’s always lived vicariously through Lestat & now in sending him away as she’s dong, she hopes to continue to live vicariously through him still in some way as she approaches what she thinks will be her death? Reading this time gave me big Magnus vibes in how he perceives Lestat too… weird! Like somehow, both seem to desire to live vicariously through Lestat? Could we even say it of Nicolas too, in a way? He needs Lestat, to feed on his capacity for joy… hmm… I don’t know… I’m thinking as I type…

I love the feeling of freedom and optimism when Lestat and Nicolas first arrive in Paris - the true start of living life!

And yet, Lestat still talks of his trembling, terrifying existential dread that settles upon him every night and which Nicolas tries to encourage him to let go.

Vampires have preternatural ability to mimic, but as described, Lestat already learned in this way it seems, in the theatre. I love how he describes his fear evaporating and how he loved being on stage. I love his determination and how convinced he is he will be a great actor. I love how Lestat and Nicolas are described here and there’s a tantalising feeling of how their future might be…

The Autumn arrives with it’s personification of Dread.

Malady of mortality surely has to be an episode title?

When Lestat wraps he and Nicki together in his cloak against the show and rain, it feels simultaneously real and metaphorically poignant.

Lestat genuinely thinks if he could just get Nicki to understand the truth Lestat feels certain of (goodness in art and making others happy through your art), all would be well, but Nicolas still believes goodness can only come from obedience and self-sacrifice and denial and, thus, he knows himself to be evil.

“Light and beauty come together in you in a thousand different patterns” is such a beautiful thing Lestat says to Nicolas.

Nicki’s final words to mortal Lestat are a soft “Let’s go to bed.” (Do you think show-Lestat will be ripped out of post-coital Nicolas’ arms..?)

Finally: Questions:

At the start of TVL, Lestat has been In The Earth. Do you think he will have been In The Earth in this era on the TV show? (As Louis has seen him pretty recently, which makes it seem like perhaps he won’t have been?)

The ‘spirit’ of 1984 reminds Lestat of the 1700’s. Will there be anything about the 2020’s that Lestat will associate with/that will remind him of the late eighteenth century?

“I did a lot of thinking about this sinless, secular morality, this optimism” - will this be a driving force for modern day Lestat? What will he think about in relation to right now?

What music will Lestat listen to? He listens to a lot of Bach when he first rises in the book (while driving his Harley-Davidson. Is there a security both in the structure of Bach and in the fact his music is from an era predating even mortal Lestat that makes Lestat feel safer entering the modern era?

Lestat talks about coming back after killing the wolves and feeling that he was ‘not-Lestat’, so I thought we could discuss - did killing the wolves change Lestat, and if so: how?

When Lestat goes into a depression post-killing-the-wolves, is this essentially a human version of “Going into The Earth” as Lestat will do numerous times as a vampire?

How will the French Revolution impact the TV telling?

When Lestat talks of how he could have poisoned meat to kill the wolves, but meat was too scarce… is he in a veiled way saying that his life has less value than a piece of meat?

“I don’t think I felt the slightest fear then. But I felt something, and it caused the hair to rise up on the back of my arms.” What exactly is the “something” Lestat feels when he sets out to kill the wolves? And why is he not afraid? Bravery? His hunting spirit? His impulsive, adventurous nature? Stupidity? Naivety? Only feeling truly alive in moments that contain the potential for death? A lack of care whether he lives or dies (borne of despair}?

Reading the wolves section, with the dying animals and even after this too when Lestat talks of his ignored/thwarted farming plans for his family’s land… It made me wonder, just a curious ponder - if Sam might have had any experiences in real life connected to any of this stuff, given his family’s line of work…?

Is performing with the theatre troupe at 16 the first time Lestat truly feels pure joy - he describes it as ecstasy?

How can we now get to The Witches’ Place if Nicki can’t have witnessed child-Lestat there, Gabrielle would never tell the story and Lestat has repressed the memory…?

#interview with the vampire #anne rice #amc interview with the vampire #lestat de lioncourt #the vampire lestat #amc iwtv #iwtv amc #iwtv lestat #iwtv louis #louis de pointe du lac #gabrielle de lioncourt #wolfkiller #lelio #lelio rising #malady of mortality #lestatcore

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glennk56 · 1 year ago

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Jefferson Mappin in 1980s & 1990s.

Jefferson Mappin is a Canadian actor born in Montreal. His film career started in 1978 with a small role in the Canadian/UK crime drama Tomorrow Never Comes starring Oliver Reed and Raymond Burr. I had never heard of him until I saw him in The Freshman a couple of weeks ago. At 6'5" he is always able to find work.

Jefferson Mappin

Most of Mappin's early work was in small roles in Canadian films that as of yet haven't been digitalized. The above stills are from the 1988 Canada/US Sitcom about a professional wrestler, Learning the Ropes, starring football player Lyle Alzado and often real professional wrestlers of the time made guest appearances. Only 13 episodes were produced. The first photo was from the pilot episode and it looks like it was from somebody's old VHS home recording. The next photo is a little better. Jefferson Mappin played a wrestler called Cheetah. It isn't known how many episodes he appeared in.

In 1990 Mappin played a pro wrestler again on an episode of the US/Canada crime drama, T and T, starring Mr. T of course.

Jefferson Mappin played an insane asylum resident in the film Beautiful Dreamers based on true events in 1990.

The Freshman, 1990, starring Marlon Brando and Matthew Broderick would fit in right here but Jefferson was barely visible in his scene, so I left it out any photo.

In 1991, Jefferson Mappin plays a real estate agent in the fantasy/drama White Light.

and Mappin as a dry-cleaning employee in an episode of Tropical Heat (nee Sweating Bullets).

Here is Jefferson Mappin as Fatty Rossiter in 1992 in Clint Eastwood's western, Unforgiven.

Here is Jefferson Mappin as a gun shop owner being questioned about a gun purchased in an episode of the TV series Counterstrike in 1993. I like the way he is pressed up against the counter.

Jefferson Mappin is a suspect responsible for a missing girl and human trafficking in this TV movie Spenser: Ceremony in 1993 made 5 years after the series Spenser for Hire ended.

Jefferson again as a gun shop owner in 1995 in an episode of the comedy/drama Due South.

Jefferson Mappin as a tech scientist who loses his memory in an episode of TekWar in 1995.

Jefferson Mappin as a Little League Coach in the TV Movie Shining Time Station: Second Chances in 1995.

Jefferson Mappin plays a Federal Agent in the Sci-Fi Action film Expect No Mercy in 1995.

#Jefferson Mappin #character actor #Canadian actor #fat actor #1980s #1990s

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retiredkat · 10 months ago

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Red-UK Magazine Raising the Stakes interview with Jacob Anderson

Must give email address to read the full article

“Jacob Anderson has a very sweet tooth. ‘I’m, like, addicted to sweetness, ever since being in America,’ he says, sipping tea with a sheepish smile. Having come to meet me in North London after dropping his daughter at nursery, the 34-year-old star of AMC’s hit series Interview With The Vampire is sitting with his face towards the morning sunshine, a move unlike the supernatural being he plays. ‘It’s good to have everything in moderation,’ he muses, opening a sachet of sweetener. ‘But the minute you start paying too much attention to quantities of things…’ he pauses, ‘it’s like sucking the joy out.’

It’s an apt metaphor for the show we’re meeting to discuss. Based on Anne Rice’s 1976 novel, the lavish revamp sees Anderson play the brooding vampire Louis de Pointe du Lac as he recounts a life of eternal love and bloodlust to journalist Daniel Molloy (Eric Bogosian). In an era when television feels increasingly bland, the show pulls off theatrical magic with its epic, queer reinvention of Rice’s work. ‘You don’t really get weird stories with scale,’ notes Anderson. ‘And I feel like this show has managed to hit the sweet spot of scale and oddness.’

Having attempted to despatch his paramour Lestat de Lioncourt (Sam Reid) and then moved to Paris with his adopted daughter Claudia (Delainey Hayles), Louis works to untangle his manipulated memories in the second season. ‘There’s a lot of tension building,’ says Anderson. ‘In episode one, in particular, I remember thinking Louis has a tension headache for years. It affects his decision-making, and his outbursts. And he makes a lot of poor decisions in season two.’ There’s a great deal of unresolved trauma, he observes, ‘Louis is very emotionally constipated in that way. I think he’s not quite able to embrace his grief, embrace his first 30 years of vampirism. He’s also unravelling in the present; all of that suppression and repression is coming back to get him.

Therapy is the place where Anderson goes to figure things out. ‘I don’t want to be like a ball of confusion and contradiction. I have two daughters to raise,’ he smiles. ‘I don’t want to be another angry man, because they’re gonna meet a lot of angry, oppressed men in their lives.’ Since playing Louis, though, he suspects the boundaries between fiction and real life have become blurred. ‘There are things about Louis that I justify, like, “I understand this decision, and therefore we’re the same.”’ he laughs. Getting deep into character, I suggest, must lend itself to overthinking. ‘Yeah, I’m a huge overthinker,’ he says emphatically. ‘Sitting here, I just noticed my own body language, and my brain is firing off.’

Despite having been in the public eye for most of his life (both on TV and in his music, which he records under the name Raleigh Ritchie), Anderson keeps a low profile. ‘I’m quite a private person,’ he chuckles. He largely avoids social media, as he has an ‘internal compass’ that guides him towards negative criticism. ‘I think it would be unhealthy to spend too much time indulging in how other people are looking at me,’ he says. ‘I feel like I’d lose my sense of self; the sense of self that I’ve been trying to build up all this time.’

As a child, he was always waiting for adulthood to begin. He moved to London at the age of 17, not specifically to pursue a career in acting, but mainly to leave his home city of Bristol. ‘I have a really healthy relationship with my home city now,’ he says, ‘but at the time, I just wanted to escape.’ He was always resourceful in his pursuit of opportunities. ‘In the beginning, I would get coaches up to London at four in the morning to get to an audition at nine. And I would do that a few times a week. And then if I stayed over for some reason, I’d stay at like a backpacker’s hostel for £19.’ Since that point, he’s worked solidly. ‘I think I have a bit of a work thing,’ he confesses. ‘I really feel like myself when I’m working. I feel like I can key into the version of myself that I most want to be, and it gives me a real sense of purpose.’

Playing the stoic Unsullied warrior Grey Worm in HBO’s Game Of Thrones was an ‘emotionally taxing’ experience at times. ‘The challenging bit was giving myself something to do sometimes, like, keeping myself alive in the scene,’ he recalls. ‘Trying to stay present was a real challenge.’ But it also proved to be a valuable learning curve. ‘You don’t need lines, you don’t need words to tell your part of the story. You can do it with your face. You can do it with your body language. So I learned a lot from doing that. But I was ready for it to be over.’

When he finished the show in 2018, he felt burnt out. ‘That last year was so brutal. It was an amazing experience in lots of ways, but I was also very low and so I just took a break for a bit.’ He considered giving up acting. ‘I was just losing my love a little bit,’ he says. The thing that inspired him again was playing recurring character Vinder in Doctor Who, a show that he aspired to be on as a child. ‘That gave me back my play. It re-energised me.’

He certainly wasn’t prepared for the phenomenon that Thrones would become. ‘It was really surprising,’ he recalls. ‘Whenever we went through the press for it, it felt like being in The Beatles or something. But when we were making it, it was really intimate.’ In any case, he isn’t driven by conventional measures of success. ‘The processes are really important. I’ve really learned that, for me, it doesn’t matter if the thing is good. If making it isn’t a pleasant experience, or joyful in some way, fulfilling or cathartic, then it wasn’t worth it. I don’t really care if something is, like, quote unquote, a hit or success, if making it was miserable, you know?’

What really drives Anderson, is creating work that helps people feel seen; and the enthusiastic response to Interview With The Vampire (plus an early season three renewal) has proved that it’s resonating with audiences on a deep level. ‘To be a part of something that people take into their hearts so much is really special,’ he says. ‘Through music and films and TV was how I learned how to be a human, you know?’ He pauses, looking deep in thought. ‘To see that I’ve contributed in some way to something that does that for other people gives me a sense of “it’s the right thing to do”. Like, I’m still doing this for the reason that I got into it.’ He smiles, ‘So yeah, it’s lovely.’”

#iwtv #amc interview with the vampire #jacob anderson #louis de pointe du lac #amc iwtv

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