#Capable of making us look for them
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Capaci di farci cercare - Capable of making us look for them
Capaci di farci cercare.L’arte della vita più difficile da imparare. Perché non dobbiamo interrogare nulla e nessuno, perché non dobbiamo viaggiare per luoghi o cuori.Non dobbiamo fare, ma stare.Sulla riva della vita, con lo sguardo sul reale mendicante dell’Invisibile in cammino. Continue reading Untitled
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#amore#battesimo#blog#Capable of making us look for them#Capaci di farci cercare#cuore#domenica#Giovanni Battista#heart#I never give up#life#love#myself#Non mollo#oggi#pensieri#real#reale#roberto perodi#Sunday#Sunday Gospel#thoughts#today#today&039;s gospel#vita
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not to terrorpost on main- but i'd like to say a sincere thank you to the temeraire fandom for introducing me to the terror.
i would also like to say FUCK you what the FUCK is up. what the FUCK is your problem. HUH? do you know what i dream about now? the terror. do you know how i spend my day? reading the terror. do you know how many times ive watched this edit? i couldnt even tell you (go fucking watch it RIGHT now this is a THREAT).
im in shambles, im a mess, im a different person than i was a fortnight ago and its YOUR FAULT 🫵
tuunbaq sketch <3
#this show has me sick to my stomach and I cant look away#temeraire enjoyers please watch the terror#terror enjoyers please read temeraire#please dont look too hard at the flag..#i really tried to make tuunbaq look angy but i just dont think im capable#used an actual art program and wow they have nice brushes#you will never see me use them again.#the terror#temeraire#go watch the terror 🔫#hold on hear me out#what if: tuunbaq.. but arctic dragon 🤔#DO YOU SEE MY VISION#PLEASE SOMEONE MAKE IT REAL IM BEGGING
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BE NOT AFRAID .
angel!edgar by zarla-s .
open to see the full pic
this little doodle here because eh why not
#vargas#edgar vargas#vargas zarla#zarla s#doodles#today noticed that i'm actually capable of drawing on paper .#so i did this with a ballpoint pen ! X3#drawing all those eyes was fun hehee#looks wonky and the proportions are a bit weird but but i mean i made this with a pen i cant erase anything#i was like “ hmmm what should i draw ”#and then i noticed that i've never drew any of them in their strangel form .#i just didn't think about it for some reason lol#anyways i think this is pretty neat actually#like a week ago i didn't think i was still capable of drawing traditionally lol#it makes me happy because that means i'm getting used to draw stuff again#pretty much . yeah#the arms should be longer and that's botheting me but meeeeehhhhhhhhhh#okay bye it's 3AM rn i should be sleeping#sunny's art
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So How Powerful Are you? And Can We Fight!
@coke-slenderman
Very. I fight to kill or to feed, not for fun.
#someone else#(( she's capable of forming as many extra arms as she wants#(( and making them as long/big as she wants#(( fighting CAN look a lil goofy because of this lmao#(( she mostly uses her claws#(( and is just generally very physically strong#(( probably higher agility rn cause she got catgirled by an m!anon? ik i havent been making that one very obvious
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fleetfinite posting hours, look at my goobers
#my art#shoves my fave rarepair in ur face LOOK!!! LOOK AT THEM#fleetfinite#infinite the jackal#fleetway super sonic#yeah i know super sonic isnt called fleetway shut up i just think its a cool name#sth#nobody touch me IM THINKING ABOUT THEM...#this is just a taste. i need to draw them more fucked up#bc their dynamic is a lot more imbalanced and toxic than u may think#obviously. otherwise why would i like it HAHA#the main thing to note is that fleetway is entirely more capable of killing infinite at any time than infinite is of killing fleets#but he chooses to keep infinite alive and around so he can fuck with him in every way#infinites ruby energy is also extremely intriguing and useful to fleets so he likes to use infinite as like a phone charger#hes more fixated on infinite as a tool than as a person. just like everyone else lol :)#but he does find value in infinite as an individual cuz hes really fun to mess with#fleets LOVES stepping over infs boundaries to piss him off and make him uncomfortable#especially bc he knows inf cant do much about it. its fun to watch him squirm#any time inf stands up for himself or appears to be in control its just bc fleets is allowing it to happen#and they both know it#tee hee :3
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"An Hour."
• Masterlist •
Warnings: Hospital settings, aftermath of captivity, mentioned death.
Medic, despite what their job would suggest, wasn't a caregiver. They were just a mechanic working on circuits, not who carefully kept the whole mechanism running. They could fix people, but it was that. Someone would have to take over the aftermath.
Much to Medic's relief, Leader was a caregiver. A good one, even.
Too good, they lately noticed. Too good that it was starting to make Medic worried. But just like every other day, Medic knocked the infirmary door in exactly same time, before opening it fully. Youngest was asleep in the hospital bed - Medic had said Leader that it was unnecessary, but Leader brought one anyway - and at last drops of their IV.
"An hour," Leader muttered. At this point it felt like a ritual. So, without a word, Medic moved and changed Youngest's IV to antibiotics as Leader deserted the room silently. Probably to sleep.
Good, Medic thought. Leader needed it.
Medic made their way to the armchair, only to see Leader's office keys on it. For a moment, they considered giving it back. They respected privacy, but they were also curious. For the last one month and a half, all Leader did was looking for Youngest, caring for Youngest or staying in their office. The first two was understandable, but the third...
Now Medic could learn whatever Leader was doing in their office.
Medic hesitated. They shouldn’t invade Leader’s privacy—Leader had done nothing to earn suspicion, at all. And Leader never broke anyone's boundries, so Medic doing it to them was just wrong. But something had been gnawing at the back of Medic’s mind for weeks now, something beyond the usual worry for Youngest. Leader’s behavior, so single-minded, so intense, felt wrong. So wrong for someone almost obsessed with making the future better. And if there was something in that office that could explain it...
Steeling themselves, Medic turned and walked down the hall to Leader’s office. The key slid into the lock with an ease that almost felt too simple. "Where's Leader?" Medic shouted. Leader's room was wide open and Leader wasn't there.
"Went for a quick walk," Right Hand shouted back.
Medic took a deep breath. "Okay," they muttered. With a simple twist, the door creaked open. Medic slipped inside, shutting it quietly behind them slowly. The room was dim, the only light filtering through the half-drawn blinds, casting long shadows across the walls. At first glance, it looked like any other office—neat, organized, professional. Just like how Leader liked to keep everything. Medic opened the lights.
Notes. Dozens of them, pinned to a board on the wall, scattered across the desk, and even taped to the edges of the bookshelves, almost creating a wallpaper. Most were in Leader’s precise handwriting, detailing locations, names, dates, and other pieces of information that, together, painted a picture out of a detective's office. Medic’s gaze was drawn to a map on the wall, marked with pins and red string connecting various points. They moved closer, recognizing the locations as places where incidents had occurred—break-ins, disappearances, attacks. All related to Youngest.
Their heart pounded as they picked up a file from the desk. It had a picture, the person's face partially obscured, but there was no mistaking who it was. Medic had seen that face around Whumper—one of the underlings of them. The person had been found dead two weeks ago, the cause still under investigation. There were detailed reports about them, autopsies, locations, biographies... informations that Medic doubted Leader had the authority to kno let alone storing.
They set the file down, their hands trembling slightly. Leader had been gathering evidence, but it wasn’t just about finding Youngest. It was about something more.
Another photo on the desk caught their eye. Medic took it, revealing more photos, more notes underneath. Some were crossed out, others highlighted. A list of names—people connected to the kidnapping—each one with a note beside it: confirmed dead, under surveillance, possible lead.
Some of these people were no longer a threat because they were dead. Was it coincidence, or had Leader...?
The sound of footsteps in the hallway snapped Medic out of their thoughts. They hurriedly closed the folder and placed thr picture back on the desk, glancing around to make sure everything was as they’d found it. The door clicked shut just as the office door opened.
Leader stepped inside, looking tired but alert. They froze for a moment, eyes narrowing as they stared in the sight of Medic standing in their office.
“What are you doing here?” Leader’s voice was calm, but there was an edge to it, a warning.
Medic tried to keep their expression neutral, forcing a casual shrug qs if they weren’t digging through the room for the last ten minutes. “You left your keys on the chair. Thought I’d drop them off.”
Leader’s gaze flicked to the keys in Medic’s hand, then back to their face. For a moment, neither of them moved. Then, slowly, Leader crossed the room, taking the keys with a nod.
“Thank you,” they said, their tone polite but distant. “Please wait for my return next time.”
Medic nodded, feeling the tension in the air like a physical weight. They turned to leave, but couldn’t help one last glance at the desk, at the folder now lying innocently on the surface.
Leader didn’t miss the look. “Is there something else?”
“No,” Medic replied quickly, shaking their head. “Just... take care of yourself, okay? You look like you haven’t slept in days.”
Leader’s expression relaxed, a smile so soft and tender taking over. “Don't worry. Byt you should get some rest too.”
How could Medic be suspicious of them when all Leader did was worrying and caring for the team? Shoving the guilt down, they forced a smile and left the office.
-•-
Later that day, Medic was in the break room when the news broke. The television mounted on the wall buzzed with static before the anchor’s voice cut in, somber and urgent.
“We interrupt this program with breaking news. Henchman, a key figure in the recent string of criminal activities linked to the late terrorist Whumper, was found dead earlier this evening. Authorities are investigating, but details remain scarce at this time.”
Medic’s blood ran cold. Henchman—another name on Leader’s list. Dead. Just like the others.
They stood frozen, the room spinning around them. The timeline didn’t add up. Leader couldn’t have done it—they had only left the office for ten minutes, not enough time to cross the city and back. But the coincidences were too many, too pointed.
When Medic next saw Leader, they couldn’t help but study their face, searching for anything. But Leader looked even more drained than the last time, still trying to hold it together desperately. When Medic mentioned the news, Leader’s response was calm, almost indifferent.
“Tragic, but not unexpected,” Leader muttered, shrugging slightly. They weren’t even focused— they looked like they could just collapse and take a twenty four hour nap. “Agency was after them. It was only a matter of time.”
Medic nodded slowly, but the uneasy feeling in their gut only grew. There was something, something that was beyond their understanding. But as Leader walked away, Medic knew one thing for certain— Leader was doing something wrong. It was either their sleeping habits or the team had a huge problem.
-•-
Soo, have another random one. This is standalone, but I wrote this with "A Score to Settle" in my mind. Not quite part two, but I began writing with that intention.
#whump#whump writing#hospital setting#aftermath of captivity#mentioned death#proofreaded but mught have typos#spoiler alert for the next tag >#implied murder#love me some overprotective leaders#have a dialogue that didn’t made into the piece:#“Do you think im capable? i failed. i failed to keep youngest safe.#And now im failing to take care of them. Do you truly believe i have the strength to go after the culprits?#yes i want to see all of them burn for what they did but look at me#all i can do is sit next to youngest and hope that i can lift some weight from their shoulders#because i'm not enough to do anything else#ive been never enough and now im paying for my shortcomings#now if youll be so kind i want to suffer alone#because im not even strong enough to stop myself from snapping at someone who did nothing but worry about me.“#and medic gets kicked out like that. just my brain decided to make a calmer leader so this doesnt fit anywhere#might use later in somewhere but just wanted to post#seriously someone stop me from posting at night or i ramble a lot in notes#anyway#im out#thanks for reading
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She heard me doing things so she came up to the side of her baby bin and blelelelele'd at me until I noticed her. She greets me every morning where we spend the first hour of every day together, her just resting in my hand and me holding her, often gently petting her head and tiny scales. If there is a heaven, that first hour we spend together is it.
She is getting a larger enclosure for her birthday in a month and a half. :D Hopefully I can get it done in time, as I haven't sculpted a custom enclosure before and will be trying some new artistic critiques. I do have experience sculpting though. My biggest worry is the paints and sealing them properly! Art I can do- but food safe art that will be in a moist bioactive enclosure is new for me.
#From her enclosure camera#hognose#hognose snake#snake#pets#She is getting a bigger enclosure soon it is preordered and we need to wait#She greets me like this every morning#She ate yesterday and should be in a food coma!#You can even see her lump#So I gave her pets and told her I love her#From inside her enclosure the photo of her being held is from yesterday#She really enjoys pets#Especially after a big meal#I need to get a video of her asking for pets#She will pet herself with her chin#And when I stop sometimes she will pet herself with her chin asking for more!#And then I will pet her and she will relax looking like she is in heaven#Those posts saying “snakes cannot enjoy being pet and will only learn to tolerate it” are absolute BS outdated information#from people who are insecure that they are less valid as humans if animals are capable of feeling love and asking for affection#My snake will LITERALLY ASK TO BE PET#And she will pet me too!#I think she saw me petting her#Thought “This feels nice. Is this what we do for each other?”#And when we are snuggling she'll wiggle over to my arm or shoulder and start petting me. She doesn't pet me in any other places.#It is a lot of effort as she has no hands and has to use her chin#moving her whole upper body#So she'll only pet me maybe 20-10 times and take a rest#Does anyone else's snake pet them?#It is unusual but I think maybe she learned it from copying me and it makes her happy ^_^#What a wonderful world we live in where snakes enjoy being pet
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I am somewhat tempted to write a fanfiction, not a romance one though as those things do not interest me so much. I wonder if anybody would read Noelle and Berdly being friends?
Furthermore, if there are any fanfictions already on this topic? I would love recommendations if so!
Whenever I try looking I just end up seeing lots of shipping stuff with all different characters, it's an oddly difficult search for me
#berdly#noelle holiday#deltarune#I use to enjoy romance shipping more#but my medications changed me HAHA#(I do not hate shipping but it's not what I look for when looking for Deltarune fanfictions)#nowadays I struggle to find much interest in romantic shipping. Sorry my krerdly followers#I always hear about how some of my past work made people enjoy krerdly#and while I still enjoy them being friends I don't think I am very capable of making shipping fanart anymore#that being said if I ever do make more fanart of them being friends I do not mind people seeing it as krerdly#I find it quite comedic how my meds are what made me stop shipping things and thus with it#krerdly#go to your local pharmacist to get your meds that stop krerdly shipping today!#(extremely lighthearted and joking)#(I still think that ship is fun and cwl if I had to choose a Deltarune ship as a favourite it would be thay one it's so entertaining)
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Breathing into a paperbag thinking about the possibility of Elbaf digging the conflict from Water 7 back up again and maybe exploring some long-term repercussions of Luffy and Usopp’s fight that not even they themselves were aware of and and and and and-
LISTEN. the Water 7 Saga absolutely rewired the way I understood the crew and how each member views themselves and the roles they play. And it’s been some time since the Strawhat’s exploration of the New World has allowed them to really take time and consider themselves and each other like that again.
And Elbaf just sounds (MUAH) like such a wonderful opportunity to do exactly that, it sounds perfect, primarily in the way it ties all the way back to the Strawhat’s early days on the Grand Line. And when you look at the presence of the Giant Pirates in Little Garden and Enies Lobby, what they share is that both times the Giants Served the purpose mirroring the conflicts between the crewmates and highlighting the importance of loyalty and comradery. Shit writes itself. Come on Elbaf don’t let me down. Come on Usopp I know you can hit us with another world shattering arc just take the stage love.
#remember when Dorry and Brogy’s story served to introduce us to Zoro and Sanji’s rivalry#by showing that even though they fight constantly theyd break if they lost each other and deep down they are still crew#and now we have an unresolved death pact looming over the two of them#Remember when Kashi and Oimo taught Usopp that the cost of loyalty can b great and harrowing but it is beyond rewarding for the right perso#just when he was doubting wether he was truly strong enough to stand at Luffy’s side or at all capable of the bravery needed to be a pirate#and now he’s going to have to look these friends and allies in the eye and be the one to show them all that his decision to remain-#-a Strawhat has brought him#when asked to look at his journey so far and ask himself if he’s truly reached his ideals will he be able to smile wide and say yes?#or will the seeds of doubt and anxiety start planting themselves in his heart again?#hell you know what would be rlly cool for me. If throughout this arc EVERYONE began losing themselves to their own doubts BUT him#Like okay okay thats an exaggeration but do you get what I mean?#Usopp staying calm and collecting and making tough calls and getting back up again all without realizing-#-that he’s truly acting like the Captain he always wanted to be#thatd be so good. god i hope this upcoming arc hits harder than crack#one piece#elbaf#usopp#monkey d. luffy#strawhat pirates
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Watching someone play afop and im so. Oh my god. Oh my GOD. It's literally just a fucking showcase of all the Exact type of shit that has been happening to indigenous people and people of color have been dealing with for Centuries at the hands of white supremacy and imperialism. Like its literally just Showing all that Shit from the perspective of a Na'vi in universe. So it "demonizes" the RDA accordingly. And uet so many fucking reviewers are joshing on it and calling it Boring and Slow and Uninspired and that it makes human's 'cartoonishly evil' LIKE YOU PEOPLE HAVENT LOOKED AT A SINGLE FUCKING CURRENT EVENT IN YOUR LIVES. Oh my god im so mad at all these fucking reviewers now. The fucking AUDACITY to look at something this fucking Honest about the cruelty humans are capable of, while living during the fucking day and age with all this Knowledge we have at our fingertips -- the fucking audacity to look at this game and what the character goes through and not being able to muster up ANY other fucking emotion besides "ubisoft never was great at story anyway so idc lol" fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. Like actually. You can't even fucking ATTEMPT to connect to this story emotionally? Not even a fucking Smidge? Jesus fucking christ people need everything to be spoon fed to them these days. God forbid a piece of media actually ask you to meet it in the middle for once.
#horse.txt#vent //#im mad lol. the farther i get into the story the more mad i get#oh oh the humans putting the Na'vi in cages is a bit extreme? a bit unrealistic??#what the fuck has been going on US borders for the past two decades then.#oh oh the pollution of the land and the water to hurt resistance efforts and native populations is so cartoonishly evil!!#HUMANS WOULD NEEEEVER DO SOMETHING SO DIABOLICAL 😱😱😱#get fucking real. i am so tired of people looking down on Avatar when it's one of the first pieces of mainstream media that ive Ever seen#cover these topics in a fictional lense with So candidly. and nobody wants to fucking take it seriously because it makes them Uncomfortable#to see humans be the fucking badguys#iTS NOT EVEN ABOUT /ALL/ HUMANS THE REAL VILLIAN IS THE FUCKING RDA! ITS CAPITALISM!!!!!#THATS THE FUCKING POINT!!! but noooo people are so fucking sensitive they cant see it as anything but 'misanthropic'#like all of the humans in the resistance arent RIGHT FUCKING THERE for one. and for two ACKNOWLEDGING HUMANITIES FLAWS ISNT MISANTHROPIC#humans have flaws!!! we are capable of great cruelty just as much as we are great kindness!!!#if simply acknowledging and exploring that fact in stories is 'misanthropic' and depresses you then thats on YOU.#grow some thicker skin or something dude idk lol
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#i wrote the arsl essay really emotionally if it's illogical i'm very sorry it's just my impression T0TTTTT.........#mumblings#EVEN THE SOLLUX ONE IS CRINGE TO ME I CANT LOOK AT IT ANYMORE i'm just glad people who've gotten something out of it can feel#more reassured in their enjoyment of these characters bcs theyre awesome & i like when people think abt them esp in relation to each other#i was so 👀!!! by how sollux detected his relevancy was reduced compared to the rest of the meteor crew and chose to step away with aradia#and since her arc was pretty much finished around the same time as his i rlly love how they complete their jobs then go off have fun#(well sollux is extra funny bcs he doesnt WANT to be a Main Character but mf can't resist adding his two cents backseat commentary LOL)#anw.. idk if ive ever mentioned but i dont care for pale arsl whatsoever skjskj highkey resent the popularity of that depiction but i don't#have grounds to complain since it gives people a reason to keep including aradia with sollux somehow#once again coming from a dvkt background i often saw aradia and sollux entering as a pair so it was wild to switch to slkt and#find out a lot of sollux shippers don't like aradia as much. or at all#<- was scrolling old posts and saw that people have been discussing this same exact thing years ago LMAO the cycle repeats itself#i think sollux should 🥺👉👈 for aradia forever its funnier to think he likes her so much and she's just. occupied by more important things#ANYTHING SHE NEEDS HE WILL COME.... SHE JUST HAS TO ASK. BUT WHAT CAN SHE POSSIBLY ASK FOR WHEN SHE'S ALREADY SO CAPABLE....... HSJAHAA#back when she approached him for tech and research assistance he could feel useful but now. he's huddled in the corner sad puppy#its so ;;; when ppl make him super relieved to see aradia like WAAGHHHHHH SHE'S HERE... SHE'S HERE FOR HIM!!!!!!!!!#sollux wanting to be more important to aradia is a thought i revisit a lot he just wants to know if there's anything there#but he can't pick Just One Thing and regardless of the outcome good or bad he'll always regret screwing it up#in reality its not his fault lol just like karkat dude's got the self-sabotage instinct for things no one holds him against for so. yeh#STILL don't take my opinions as truth gospel alright i'm a fangirl not a meta writer!!!!!!!!!
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what's wrong with the existing ship names why do we need new ones
#lohst.txt#answer: most of them are impossible to figure out#do you know how long it took me to figure out why expensive headphones was called expensive headphones#hi hey hello I'm just talking shit again#if i dont like the ship name then i wont use the ship name. simple solution#the new ship names are following the same 'rules' i guess as the pre existing ones#theres. like. very few ship names that are portmanteaus#like. richjake. meremine. meremy hell. bich. deere. dillinjer. a certain ship that i dont want to name#but. yknow. a lot dont make sense#pins and patches came from. i think. a headcanon#i could jave sworn boardwalk boys came from a boy band au#*have#ive always called dirty blondes flower kids. only because the one person who wrote flower kids fics called them that#and that makes less sense than dirty blondes#look. half of them dont make sense and i dont know why theres new ones popping up#but im attached to them and some of them are good#royal pains?? i love it. stagedorks? classic. pinkberry?? amazing#also theres. like. no nice way to blend brooke and chloe#i dont think. or nothing i like the sound of#and i started calling the popular kids polycule 'high school royalty' because. well. they are#anyway i have thoughts about ship names#but im currently only capable of just saying things with no substance. just expressing dislike#so. this is another post of lara just talking shit on a non rebloggable post#it is almost 2am. that is all. goodnight
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i've also realized that there is no therapy that can fix what's broken inside of me
#therapy wont give me a place to belong. a person to call my home.#therapy where i sit and talk about how all i want is to love and be loved and i'll never feel whole without it wont solve anything#guess i just need to study and get an education for a job that i think i could be capable of#and then distract myself with books and shows and nature#the problem is that loneliness permeates my every cell and my every moment and being#im losing interest in humanity and society#literature is barely even interesting to me anymore bc i feel so fkn far away from humanity#and what makes u human.. that i cant connect with any of what i try to consume#i just... dont care. music doesnt even do anything for me anymore#i feel so numb in one way#but also i often feel like im panicking. how is this possible? how did i end up here?#im like actually fading away from this earth and it sometimes feels like#it wont even matter if i do#what is trying to take ahold of me and stop me from fading....?#idec anymore. even if i do get a job and an apartment i'll still be empty bc all i want is. smth i can never have? is that really how it is#i dont even require that much#that is what is so .. terrible almost#i just want one connection that is special to us both. smth close smth deep smth that i can pour everything into#i look around and almost everyone have more than one person even by them.... what did i do wrong?#i must've done smth very very wrong from the start to even end up here#it doesnt matter. i fade and i fade and i fade... i think i will keep doing so#because no matter how much other ppl - ppl who themselves have love and closeness in their lives. who have friends and partners and family.#no matter how much they parrot empty lines of 'learn how to be alone!!' 'life can be whole and fulfilled even alone' ..#i dont want that. i really dont. deep in my soul i do not want that#so their words are completely... condescending even. yes i CAN do all of that. i mean fuck#i am surviving feeling alone more than most of them are since they have ppl around them lmao#but i just dont want it. i am a person meant for a deep connection... i dont even need it with multiple people#without that i feel like i am dying and nothing else matters#besides i know it's possible bc i have felt that with a person at this time of my life#so i know that it's not smth distant or unachievable... it does exist and i want it bc it's the only thing that made me
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decided that in my own personal canon, Santiago’s maker looked similar to Louis, simply because Ben Daniels stated that Santiago was very likely in love with his maker. and wouldn’t it be some kind of torture to fall in love with the man who murdered your first vampiric love? to then watch him fall in love with another, who bears an eerie resemblance to that first love? to be witness to something tender and affectionate blooming, every moment a memory of how none of those you’ve adored have ever wanted you back? it would be agony. it would be torture. god, you would just hate them to pieces, loathing even as you loved them. and you wouldn’t know peace - not until the whole pack of them learnt the horror of love, just as you have.
#I like to think that Santiago was courted by his maker. that it was a genuine interest#perhaps turned to be an immortal companion before his maker saw his mind and past and realised how dull he was#imagine being sold the beautiful dream of having an immortal companion who loves you and chose you out of everyone#to be the only they spend eternity with. forever in the arms of love#just for him to see you. truly see you as nobody ever has. and then instantly recoil#abandon you in disgust. he doesn’t care what you do. he doesn’t care where you go. he doesn’t care what you call yourself. francis.#santiago is a strange inverse of claudia#she is a grown woman struggling against her body - constantly being viewed as her past rather than who she truly is#but she is capable and knowing and refuses to pretend. she is Claudia the adult woman. she is Claudia the cage breaker. Claudia the killer.#while I think Santiago is still deep down Francis. lonely and needy and wanting someone to pick him. but nobody ever will#and so he covers himself up in lies and leather and performs on stage. and nobody thinks anyone is standing there but Santiago#I just LOVE torture. imagine how upsetting all of it would be#he’s still a foul cunt. but god the agony. Armand killing the man he loves. Armand falling in love with someone who looks so similar.#and Santiago can have none of them. will only be touched in anger. so make them angry. get them to touch him.#furious desire to hurt is a kind of desire. he’ll take what he can get. he’s going to get it.#he decides to become the new master of the coven when every part of him is clearly begging#please please please want me take me need me make me yours please don’t turn away don’t pick someone else#he’s so careless with the women because life’s not fair ladies! the powerful want you then they drop you after they’ve used you#if I’m a toy you’re all toys. if I’m used I’ll use up the lot of you.#exactly my favourite kind of guy. wants to be loved eternally would flinch if he received it because what even is this?#santiago iwtv#santiago#ldpdl#louis de pointe du lac#armand#armand iwtv#armand interview with the vampire#iwtv#interview with the vampire
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Ok, been sitting on this for a while, been trying to talk myself out of it, but here goes.
The book doesn't sell me on the love Theoden had for Eowyn.
I tried to read it and find something in his actions towards her that tell me he has proper regard, proper respect for her, that gives any weight or meaning to his love for her, but I can't find anything. He dismisses her before the entire court, doesn't consider her an heir or a proper part of his house, and has to have her virtues called out to him by other people, when she has been serving him for years.
Return Of The King sees him spout platitudes and declare her "dearer than daughter", but none of this is backed up by his general actions to her.
He loves Eowyn, fine. But he doesn't love her the way he loves Eomer, or probably loved Theodred. He doesn't love her as a fully realised being. Nor as someone to take pride in and carry on his legacy. He loves her a crutch, a tool, and something between pet and person.
He has affection for Eowyn, but his love feels more like a trivial thing, than something with any real worth or regard to it.
#Lotr#Lord of the Rings#Eowyn#Theoden#I don't think this is Tolkien's intent#I think I'm meant to believe that Theoden was awesome to Eowyn and did love her more than a daughter#but Tolkien never gave me a reason to believe that#can someone find me a moment in the books where Theoden's love for Eowyn feels like something substantial#where he loves her for who she is and not for the services she has provided#where he shows any respect for her capabilities and pride in her person#and not just going along with it when other people point them out to him#I love them in the films and I want to believe in their love so much#but Theoden's love for Eowyn in the books just feels perfunctory and leaves me feeling empty#I don't think this is how their relationship is meant to make me feel#Eowyn put her life on hold and endured hell for Theoden's sake#and we never even get an implication he regretted what she endured for his sake#we never see a hint of Theoden regretting how he snubbed her before the court#almost every scene between the two of them in Two Towers lacks warmth or regard between them#the minute Theoden's recovered he sends Eowyn away as though she's not longer of use to him#he forgets her bloody existence before everyone in the hall#he has her wait on him while Eomer Aragorn Gimli and Legolas all get to sit with him#and in turn all Eowyn can do is look at him with cool pity#and at their parting she focusses more on Aragorn than Theoden#she clearly isn't feeling the love right now and why should she?#it makes Theoden calling her daughter and showing her some morsels of affection in Return of the King feel empty#like now yeah he can be bothered to acknowledge Eowyn a bit now that it suits him#but when other stuff is going on she falls to the back of his mind#there's enough unseen moments or gaps where perhaps if Tolkien had written them I might have believed in Theoden's love for Eowyn#such as their parting before Pelennor which was described as “painful”#but that pain could have meant a variety of things
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Substance, Shadow, and Spirit [remixed, abridged] by Tao Yuanming
#liv in the replies#patrice bergeron#boston bruins#brad marchand#do you ever think about how brad marchand said that when bergy retired he would retire or are you capable of normal thought i'm not at all#please say a gratitude for both my sanity& y'all that this poem (which has been saved in my camera roll with the vague idea of using it for#??? long) & not one of the poems i had saved for carey for a really long time & remixed & everything with another poem until i found a poem#that absolutely murdered me in cold blood but there is an alternate universe where i did& then had to explain my unhinged thoughts to you.#anyway how are we feeling about bergy retirement. pspspspsp sara & luna are y'all doing okay like. the doc title for this one was#patrice the hockey player means a lot to me but patrice the person means so much more#which is why the end line of the other poem was so *%"@^)! (you love / what you are) because patrice does. like he is a whole ass good huma#& now since no one asked i need to tell you all the details about everything also y'all please clap i made an edit with NO baby pictures#although i did find one & save it & minimal genres of photo i always use in edits because they're my taste & aesthetic but anyway.#when i saved the first photo and marked it as one i wanted i accidentally wrote “how will he know they love him” which is not the line but#makes me feel feral about patrice & the rest of them all had hurtful names too but also. the third picture is literally a CELLY like brad#just scored a goal & he is clinging to bergy for dear life with that shit i saved that as “oh the agony on his face for unendurable”#& yes it is one of my cliches to have a draft day picture but in my defense the lifelong bond that patrice has/d with boston deserved to be#there even if i put in the love story & YES that picture is from the 2011 playoff right below it shared joy & pain & i couldn't tell you#when the brad marchy photo for together forever is except for the fact that i saw it & just the gut punch of oh my god the way he looks at#things men will praise you for is the stanley cup. duh. but i love the contrast of “some deed” being the stanley cup but then#bergy's choice to do noble deeds (ends up still earning praise &that's my note to his efforts outside of hockey we love a supportive captai#should also mention the first two i came up with & had the photos i knew i wanted for were the first and last one alskaldk but i KNEW i#wanted chara somewhere in the paragraph about leaving & then while i was looking found the one of bergy playing tuukka on accident & yes#i do have to make goalie jokes every time. no reprieve . no dice/no deal/no goal goalies have no rest/reprieve etc etc the one that killed#me though was looking for a patrice award pic & i wanted basically the one that i got for “how will you know any will praise you” & instead#also got the picture of patrice winning the some community hero award for charity work that he does & i love him mama & of COURSE that puck#is from bergy's 1000 game who do you think I am (if you guessed sleepy and emotional about patrice you'd be right) and ALSO please be ready#for all the patrice posts/bruins posts that have been sitting in my drafts to be released on this occasion of patrice retirement#I FORGOT TO MENTION THAT TUUKKA ALSO RETIRED THAT’S WHY HE WAS ON WISE OR SIMPLE NO REPRIEVE AND THAT LATE OR SOON WAS ALWAYS GOING TO BE#CHARA BECAUSE CHARA LEFT FIRST TO GO TO THE CAPS AND THEN LEFT IN RETIRMENT HE LEFT SOON BUT NOT FOR REAL THEN LATER LEFT FOR REAL (RETIRED)
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