#Can't have him end up *too* traumatized yk

[lil-gae-disaster]

I have decided to not further torture sunshine boy.

[stormylewirmy]

Time for my Entity lore dump

So I HC him to he be a Avantasian (elf to specify), in my vision I like to think Avantasians have some kind of powers (Yk all that generic fantasy stuff)

So Entity being Entity he can't control his powers which resort into some traumatic events!

Ok now the nap thing, I like to think elves can do some kind of healing in their sleep once again Entity being unable to control his powers ends up sleeping too long and in the process it "heals" his trauma resorting in him forgetting most stuff

[bluelolblue]

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app? 

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

AAYAYA THANK YOU 💖💙

YAPPING TIME

📚 The last thing I have in my notes is me loving my two oc's. These two are special in some way

Okay, Romano and Luna complete each other. I honestly love this ship so much, and yeah it's canon. Just that I'll make it more meaningful. Romano x Luna is living in my head rent free. Romano needs someone like Luna and Luna needs someone like Romano, they are perfect for each other.

Nothing too exciting, but they mean a lot to me ^ ^

I'll also give what I have last written for a wip fic, why not :>

“What are you doing?” He asked, slightly annoyed with that action. “Just focus on what you're doing, Santi. Everything's okay, I promise,” Gianna said,

❄️ AAHHHH ommgg but there's so many ideas that I have in mind for Santino and John... like not just me writing it, but in general, it would be amazing if it was written by anyone. I was gonna say something with omegaverse, and yk it can be that, too why not but it's not necessary.

Hmm, a long plot of them never having peace. OOOH Santino having arranged marriage to keep the bloodline going (so he would also have to have a kid), even though he doesn't want that, he wants to be with John. Yk, Camorra... D'Antonio's... old-fashioned and have very strict rules. I mean, it can be without this, but it's something I was thinking about. Can't go without Santino having childhood trauma. Just make it even more intense... like it's really bad (why... why can't I just make him happy?) Hmm why not throw in the impossible task and them both nearly dying in the whole process. Basically, one nearly ended up sacrificing themselves for another. Like, it's really intense. Blood, crying... panic attacks >:] oof I got a bit too evil... and I'm not done yet! I had this idea of John cutting off his finger (like that scene in the 3rd movie), but like idk he had to do it for some other reason and it's not in the desert. And Santino managed to find him, sees all that, and wants to help him but ends up getting pushed away for his own safety. So everything kinda becomes too much for Santino and he has a breakdown and ends up destroying his room or idk wherever he is, he just destroys things. And even if Gianna or someone else tries to stop him, he pulls out the "I'll kill everyone and myself" talk. Like... he lost it a little (a lot 💀). So it gets dark... BUT OF COURSE it gets horny, too. We can't forget the horny ^ ^

So that's a big idea for a fic I kinda can say that I dream about. I did say anyone can write it, I'll gladly read more Santino x John fics. BUT @mrssimply I think is already doing such a great job of writing something already traumatizing and hot, like you have a fic that makes you feel it emotionally, that's a win for the writer (remembering how I was a little sobbing puddle with so many compliments and was shaking irl HHSHS). The way she writes Santino and John is really unique, and I think this could definitely work in that way. So, I think this idea would be written amazingly and make you really feel it! ^ ^

Ask game

[rou-luxe]

Ikevil OC: Elsie Juniper

The Juniper Tree fairytale is very violent. If you search it up, do so with caution.

I drew this a while ago but I forgot about it 💀

more under the cut

Elsie Juniper. Quiet and deadly. If she snaps, no one is making it out alive.

Birthday: May 14th (Taurus)* Height: 160 cm Affiliation: Theater, Crown (temporary) Curse: The Juniper Tree: Marlinchen *not intended to be recently, that's just a coincidence

"My mother she killed me, My father he ate me, My sister, little Marlinchen, Gathered together all my bones, Tied them in a silken handkerchief, Laid them beneath the juniper-tree, Kywitt, kywitt, what a beautiful bird am I!"

In "The Juniper Tree", Marlinchen's tears assist in bringing her brother back to life. Following the tale, her tears provide physical comfort to someone for a set amount of time, but like numbing rather than anesthesia. She tends to use it more on people suffering a fatal wound, to let them pass in peace. Elsie is rather sensitive and prone to crying... in conjunction with her ability, her ability tends to be rather inconvenient for herself...

She hates the stench of blood and flesh. However, her ability does come in handy when helping out Roger (he tends to accidentally cause more damage to the person when this happens because he doesn't know when he's going too far) Roger sometimes uses the tears as numbing.  Then the members have to drag her away from Roger lest he get turned-

She works as a costume designer for the theater where Liam works at. Occasionally she writes her own plays. Sometimes she'll go to the bar and write with quill and pen for hours on end...

Relationships (read: delusion / headcanons)

oh lovely sylvatica... yk how Alfons loves watching Liam at plays? Elsie likes to watch front row seat to see all her hard work and Liam usually has them sitting next to each other* Elsie can't take much more flirting. Save her. Please. + their relationship is a complicated one. might write sometime.

Ah, yes. Coworkers and great friends. Elsie loves designing new outfits for Liam ❤️ He's really good at comforting her and Elsie repays him any way she can. Always the small things. She probably loves messing with his hair.

Elsie is painfully honest. Harrison teases her a lot about how obvious it is whenever she lies. He doesn't even need to use his ability. They both love sweets, though, and Harrison loves treating Elsie to the bakery. (BIG BROTHER FIGURE SPOTTED!!)

William and her are on okay terms. Elsie respects him a lot. wtf what else do I say (<- just finished William route but is still confused)

Elsie feels really comfortable around Elbert. They can have silent moments in peace, and she likes taking care of him, whether it's making sure his hair is brushed or making him tea. He is ADORABLE.

Victor has too much energy for her, but she sometimes helps him take care of Crown. She loves messing with Victor's hair also...

Other than to study her ability, Elsie and Roger don't interact often...

She's constantly under the impression that Jude is really scary. She once bumped into him and wouldn't stop apologizing

*I CAN SEE LIAM BEING A MATCHMAKER SO BADDD THIS HEADCANON LIVES IN MY BRAIN I NEED TO SEE MORE LIAM AND ALFONS RELATIONSHIP PLEASE CYBIRD

In the Victorian era, if a woman was single, it was commonplace for a woman to be escorted by an older male servant (like a butler) or an older family member. If she was NOT single, the woman would typically be escorted by her lover. Alfons takes advantage of this fact

Of course, Liam wants Elsie to be safe, so he asks Alfons to sit next to her. Alfons is already there, anyway. He can trust his coworker enough in case anything goes wrong... right? 😇

(she has her own backstory with explanations of certain likes / dislikes, but I'm not revealing it. maybe in a separate post. I don't want to traumatize anyone just looking at this)

watch me forget she exists

"...What do you want from me?"

[yugiamaneisdead]

Quick post debunking those half-baked opinions I'm seeing on tiktok and Twitter using just Journal 3:

1. "Mabel was selfish/mean/ungrateful/ an awful person etc" let alone the fact she's a 13 yr old girl and also regularly risked her life for him... The point is that they grew and learned. They made mistakes and apologized for it, and they forgave. They moved on. (Something Stan and Ford could never do -- a contrast)

2. "Stanford just used Fiddleford and was the sole reason for the falling out" Ford obviously cared a lot about Fiddleford, but the fact was that they didn't trust each other as much as they should've, and Ford was being manipulated 24/7 (add on sleep deprivation, mind manipulation, etc.) That's the point of the "TRUST NO ONE" message being debunked - there are things you can't do on your own, and you need someone you trust to fall back on. But they didn't have that. (Second pic is of Fiddleford talking to young Blind Ivan, and it's implied this is where he got the memory gun idea, due to his traumatic experience striking a cord in Fiddleford.)

3. "Ford is a bad person, used Stan, etc, all that shit." Ford fucked up. Literally everyone knows that. But after seeing who Stan was, who he really was, Ford was forced to confront the fact that his image of his brother was warped from years and years of being on his own, running for his life, living in constant paranoia, being manipulated into trusting no one but a dream demon, and yes, his ego. He admits it himself. And Stan isn't a perfect person, but the image (in the beginning) of him is inaccurate in the Journal, because it's written from Ford's pov. He hasn't had to look from someone else's POV in years, so he sees Stan's actions as selfish and unreasonable. But later on, he realizes it. He's been living like he's simply better than others due to his intelligence, criticizing everything Stan does, but in the end, he realizes he was wrong, and the brother he loved has been there the whole time, risking his life readily and daily just for a chance to protect his family, giving up everything for them. He realizes he was unjust. And it's not an excuse -- but a reason, one that shouldn't be dumbed down to "Oh he's a bad person". And he recognizes that Stanley has every right to deny his dream after Ford belittled Stan's.

He kept films of when they were kids, and stayed by Stan's side constantly while his memory was returning. Stan is important to him, he was simply in an awful situation that caused him to act awful. Stan is Ford's hero.

4. "Ford abandoned Fiddleford/Fiddleford got a bad ending". Be so fr, even disregarding the credits scene where Fiddleford is with his son, and the scene where Fiddleford says he can start forgiving instead of forgetting what Ford did and put him through, there are full pages of this guy's ramblings abt him. And he remembers such minute details about his friend, such as the rubix cube. He went out of his way to help rebuild Fiddleford's life.

Bonus number 5: "The road trip episode wasn't logical to put into the second season because they were trying to be protected from Bill. " that was explained too! Though it was only in the Journal so I get it yk? But Ford's aim was the protect the kids in case he made a mistake.

Anyways that's all for now, just a bunch of things I noticed ppl forgot or didnt know while reading Journal 3.

[limoncats]

hey, remember the tag on this post?

you know what? i'm gonna explain.

quick apology if the post sounds weird, it is currently 1 minute away from 11 pm as i'm typing this sentence.

ig this is a vent? anyway long post up ahead so !!

also apologies if this sounds stupid.

btw this post is not a self-diagnosis post

TWs for: mentions of self-h@rm, discussion of trauma

if these trigger you, don't read this! or do, but just be warned.

okay, so,

am i disabled?

alright, so am i physically disabled? no, not to my knowledge.

am i mentally disabled? i have no official diagnosis, but i am speculating. the speculation in question? this whole post

i have speculations that i have Asperger's Syndrome and possible selective mutism

Asperger's Syndrome

okay so. let me show you the symptoms and i'll explain

according to nationwidechildrens.org, the symptoms for Asperger's are:

i'll go over each one and tell you my experiences with each

now uh. i don't actually know what this means ;; but if this counts, i'll put it here: whenever i'm supposed to say basic things like "good morning," or "thank you," i can't seem to verbally? like the words don't seem to be able to come out of my mouth. it actually is more like that i don't even think to say them, so i don't. i remember this whole thing resulted in a fucking argument i had with my mother and her friend JUST because i didn't say good morning to him. as you can imagine, it was pretty traumatic. i think this may actually be more of "struggling to understand social cues," but eh.

i– yeah i can understand emotions usually (if i can clearly see it/tell based off of a person's facial expression what emotion they're feeling.) and i think my expressiveness is fine? idfk however kill me.

i can understand gestures just fine, unless i don't clearly understand what the person means? it's like if my mum points to something but i don't know where she's pointing to because i can't tell (and then she gets mad at me ;;). it might just be a thing on my mum's part but honestly i don't fucking know.

yes! irl the only thing i talk about with my school friends is CoAD since they like it too, and it's usually super awkward when i try to talk to an irl friend who doesn't know/enjoy CoAD so ;; and if they don't, sometimes i tell them about it and keep rambling on and on about it. now regarding the "convos revolving around them," part, i'm also pretty sure that's a yeah too? like yk when i ask a question like "guys what (insert thing here) am i"? i feel that i do that pretty frequent and i think it counts so ?

nah i think my speech is fine

mfw CoAD

auhhh???? i don't know i don't have memory of it so i think no

uh. if getting mad at my mum for making me do chores while i'm having fun either watching a video, talking to friends or drawing counts then uh. yeah

oh ofc. like i memorised how tall Wadanohara's familiars (Memoca, Dolphi, Fukami and Samekichi) are and when Yonaka's birthday is instead of memorising what the word "verbatim" means (it took me some time to memorise)

i don't think i'm that clumsy + my handwriting is fine and it's easy to write so

ohhhh Hm. so i can hold emotions pretty fine (it does sorta hurt to hold in so much anger) but sometimes they do come out a little and i end up like punching my thighs or something. it's happened at school before (yes, i've actually punched my thighs out of anger before)

uhhhhhhh??????? i feel like i'd have to get reeeeally specific for this one and i'm not feeling it right now

now to lights and touch i'm fine, but sound? lemme explain. so i can listen to like a video at (somewhat) loud volume while at home, but if i overhear like loud music coming from a club i get uncomfortable and i sometimes cry

so that's that for the Asperger's part, now let's move on to:

Selective mutism

i'll format it basically the same as the previous section so.

according to NHS, symptoms of selective mutism are:

"characterised by a sudden stillness and frozen facial expression when they're expected to talk to someone outside of their comfort zone" is so real ngl

anyway

yeah i do get nervous. i assume i look so too

my mum tells me i come off as rude, she says like, "hey you can't just stay silent! that's really rude!" wow mum i feel so much better! (<- lie) also i'm pretty sure i come off as sulky because whenever i frown around my mum's friends, once we're separated for something, my mum always says "suratına asma," which basically means "stop frowning." you have no idea how angry i get when i hear that my god.

nah i'm like. 99.9% sure that i come off as the opposite of clingy

yeah i sometimes describe myself as shy (sometimes is emphasised because i usually don't like calling myself "shy" because it makes me feel cringe.)

i. don't know lol. i guess so yeah? yeah i think so actually

i'm not aggressive (at least not physically or verbally), but i do get pissed when my mum asks me. ofc i don't let it out because i don't want to fucking assault mother

now i didn't include this because i don't think it's a disorder, but whenever i go through something traumatic (or the aftermath of something traumatic), i question if i'm real? like i think i sorta put myself in this sort of delusion that i'm living in a nightmare i can't wake up from whenever i go through something traumatic

also i hate looking in a mirror due to questioning who i'm looking at

i still question who i was looking at in the mirror that one day to this day.

i'm not sure if this is dissociation because i don't understand the definition of dissociation, or if it's part of a disorder. i did suspect DPDR, but i don't know i don't think so ? i'm also not sure if this is just puberty with the whole "questioning who you are" thing (though i think that's in terms of identity, not fucking questioning your REALITY 💀)

have i tried getting a diagnosis?

yes, i have, actually, so let me explain:

i wrote a text document to my dad about my speculations on having Asperger's, but he just laughed it off and said "i've met people with autism and you're NOTHING like them haha!!!" which was just. okay dad.

he suggested i tell my mother and i agreed

now this is when things go downhill 😭😭

so i told my mum when i went back to hers and she also basically had a similar response but she agreed to get it diagnosed one day.

then some time later she tells me that i might have to wait 2 years to get my diagnosis so 💀💀💀

and then one day i start telling her that one of my school classmates recommend talking therapy and all of a sudden she gets all hostile like "why do you need to label yourself? what difference does it make? it's unnecessary" which is VERY funny considering this woman is a FUCKING SOCIOLOGY LECTURER WITH A PHD.

we've had a couple arguments about it and it still pisses me off. she even practically made fun of me to her friend's husband when i went to The Netherlands last week and she was like, "yeah i think her generation has a weird obsession with needing to label themselves?" mum do you hear yourself. oh i'm sorry i want to improve my mental health by knowing what's up with me and attempting to get support.

SPEAKING of trying to get support once diagnosed, during one of our arguments over if diagnosis really does anything at all, in response to her saying, "what do you do with it?", i said, "i can well. try and get support ??" and then HER ASS responds with, "THERE IS NO SUPPORT."

FUCK YOU MEAN THERE IS NO SUPPORT???? YOU'RE A SOCIOLOGIST YOU KNOW DAMN WELL THERE IS.

i haven't told either of my parents of my speculations for having selective mutism, though i feel it'll just go the same as what happened with the Asperger's shit so

i think my parents just have stereotypes of autism that i don't fall into so thErEfoRE YoU'Re noT aUtistiC!!!!11!1!!

anyway so that's practically it. thanks for reading what absolute insanity i've gotten myself into, and also what state my mental health is in!!! (ofc this isn't the entirety of my mental health lol.)

have a good day/afternoon/evening/night ♡

— limoncats

[devvinn1ie]

Avgust lore drop + some Avgust art

First half! The Kao Revstar piece really like rewired my art cuz now I just draw like this now. That's it. Avgust's piece is the second attempt at this style; it's basically what I did with Kao but with Avgust instead. It eats tho. I don't tend to draw my genshin ocs outside of drip marketing posts, so it's cool to have like an example of what they'd look like in my usual style.

~~~~~

Anyways lore time! Avgust's lore is kinda of crazy, probably the second/third most lore-filled genshin oc. For the most part, a lot of my ocs just kinda vibe, but Avgust, Yohei, and Felix have crazy lore

so you guys know the movie Misery? Avgust's backstory is basically the plot

Here are some points from the genshin oc Google doc I made on his backstory since 1.) I cant write for shit and 2.) The bullet points themselves don't seem to make sense but ill try my best

anyways ye:

Avgust was born as a normal child to a very normal family! He lived with his mother and father

Family drama! His father was initially supposed to marry his aunt but ended up with his mother instead. Enraged by this, his aunt kinda just plans to kill them all and actually does carry this plan out (kinda like the "if I can't have him, then no one can" mindset yk)

so now, Mom and Dad are dead. Avgust is about to be killed off too. But then he isn't since he "resembles his dad"

From there, he is "taken to live with his aunt", but more like she just throws him in the basement and hides him from the rest of the world (so ig kidnapped).

His family's murder case yk revealed to the public, with the whole family being presumed dead. The dead bodies of his parents were found, but Avgust's never was (but was still presumed dead).

So Avgust is like 7 years old when this whole debacle is happening. And since he's a kid, he kinda has no idea what's actually going on . He's being told that his parents are going on vacation for a while, so they left Avgust to stay with his aunt until they come back. Initially, he believes all of this and assumes his parents are gonna come back soon, but years go by and he eventually catches on.

Growing up, Avgust was incredibly sheltered. He was never allowed to go outside, with basic necessities handed to him. To prevent him from venturing beyond the house, his legs were essentially fucked up to the point where they were permanently weakened. If Avgust were to misbehave, he would be "punished" (beaten, broken bones, etc etc)

As mentioned before, he eventually catches on to what actually going on. He learns that his parents are dead and have been dead for years. He tries to escape multiple times but is never really successful

The one successful escape (age 14): One day he finally snaps and tries to escape, but gets into a fight with her (like "physically beating the shit outta each other" kinda fight). this fight is kinda crazy. AVGUST GETS HIS LEFT EYE GOUGED OUT and also other major injuries. Mid-fight, a cryo vision appears, Aunt thinks its for her but it doesn't work. Avgust takes vision, and uses it to finally kill her (impales her with ice)

Using whatever strength he has left, he drags himself out of the house and tries to look for help. But then he just passes out in the snow.

A lady finds him and brings him to the closest orphanage

He stays at orphanage for a year (15) before deciding to leave (“aight bye guys”)

~~~~~

Avgust is so silly guys (he is severely traumatized)

GUYS, THAT TOOK LIKE A WHOLE CLASS TO WRITE OUT WTH.

anyways bye guys

[faenemy]

Hii don't mind me, just wanted to ramble abt Mark and friends series in ur ask box cuz why not :3 (you've drawn fanart of them b4 btw!)

SO LETS START OFF WITH SOME CONTEXT. Mark and friends is a completed series on YouTube made by this guy ashur gharavi, it follows the story of Mark blah blah i can't talk in this format snymore I need to go silly mode holf on. SO MARK IS GHIS 'LITTLE MONSTER' KID RIGHT, AND ANOTHER CHARACTER IS BILLY WHO IS AN ADUKT HUMAN. SO THE SERIES IS KINDA LIKE A KIDS CARTOON BUT WITH BLOOD AND MURDER. BILLY KIDNAPPED MARK AND FORCED HIM TO DO STUFF FOR CAMERA. AS THE SERIES GO ON, THERE WILL BE LITTLE HINTS IN THE FORM OF NEWSPAPER OF LIKE WHATS ACTUALLY GOING ON AND WHY HES FOING THIS. READ EVERY SINGLE BACKGROUND NEWSPAPER EVEN IF IT DOESNT FEEL IMPORTANT, THE LITTLE DETAILS ARE SOOOO GOOD. MARK IS LIKE 10 YEARS OLD AND HES LITERALLY SO CUTE, HE DONT DESERVE EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENWD TO HIM. IM NOT GONNA SPOIL THE ENDING FOR U, CUZ ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD I REMEMBWR WHEN I FIRST WATCHED IT AND THE ENDINV IS JUST SO PULLING MY HEAET STRINGS AND LIKE SUCH A TENSE SCENE YK. ITS LITERALLY SO GOOD, THERE ARE 3 COMPILATIONS OF IT (PART 1,2 AND 3) I THINK ITS LIKE 2 HOURS LONG PLEASE PLEASE WATCH IT (ONLY IF U WANNA OFC NO PRESSURE) I LOVE THE CHARACTERS SO MUCH THEYRE SO WELL WRITTEN, I HATE BILLY BUT I LOVE HOW WELL HIS CHARACTER AND MANIPULATION IS WRITTEN HES SO FUCKING CRUEL. I LOVE HOW ASHUR ISNT AFRAID TO JUST FUCKIMG MAKE HIM DO TERRIBLE AWFUL SHIT. I LOVE IT SO MJCH ITS SO CREATIVE I LOVE MARK TOO, HWS SO CUTE I LOVE DRAWING HIM. OH AND ALSO, ITS CANON THAT TWOMP TAKES PLACE AFTERRR THAT SERIES AND MARK IS FRIENDS WITH ARGOS AND MR PLANT. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH THEYRE SO UGHHHHH. THE ACTOR IS EYE CANDY TOO HES SO COOL. PLEASE WATCH IT ILL GIVE U A COOKIE IF U DO (AGAIN, ONLY IF U WANNA THO NO PRESSURE) :3

SOME PICTURES ^^

(This ask wasn't proofread btw)

HI HI HI Thank you for the ask box rambles I love them <3

Definitely did not go and binge the whole series, nope, not me

ANYWAY MY RAMBLINGS AS I WATCHED AND THOUGHTS UNDER CUT

I love this little green guy!

Marks parents seem to be murdered (go figure)

I'm assuming he was kidnapped in an ice cream truck/van??

Mark is kept in a cage without an actual bed it seems, at least when he isn't on camera

Are the puppets the actual children, or do they just represent them?

Mark keeps rubbing his side/stomach, maybe where his kidney was removed??

Child star shows an actual person so kidnapper might have started as a child star?

Grandma knows her kiddo is still alive (GET HIS ASS)

Is the plant guy who killed Big Monster Mr plant?

Donovan escapes???

Cupcake monster gets killed (very sadge)

WHY THE FUCK DID THEY PUT TOMATOES IN A FRUIT SALAD??? JAIL!!!!

apparently monsters are edible, might be some cannibali going on?

Also humans are considered monsters in this world

In "cooking" the newspaper is obscured, but it seems to read (missing childs body found, but not his head) Cupcake Monster???

UPDATE DEFO CUPCAKE MONSTER NOOOOOO

No Illinois, Minnesota or Indiana

Maybe the other kids were from Minnesota and Indiana, since Mark is from Illinois?

Aight my man was defo the child star, I'm assuming he is repeatimg the crimes of big monster???

Oop so search led to Indiana, snap my prior theory lol

Big monsters cousin changes last name

Frame lasted long on that, so I assume it's important

I keep forgetting Billy's name LMAO

Big monster and sewer? Seems like an It reference

So they're near Michigan now, noted

WHY MUST YOU TORMENT ME :(((( I luv paper bag dog NOOOOOO

Mark seems more vocal and challeging billy more now

Billy straight up gave the kids psychedelics my god

Someone save the child pls

Donovan my beloved is traumatized:((((

Oooooh the photos in the background are crying now, I think those are Marks parents?

Mr plant defo killed Big Monster, king shit

OOOOOH

okay so kid star (johnny) met with big monster in the sewer, got murdered

But Billy was the one who encouraged him to, Billy was going to star in the movie before Big Monster was convicted. So he was the kid who was crying in the article because his role was dropped

NOOOOOO MARK IS ADDICTED TO DRUGS

Get HIS ASS GRANDMA

I can't read the teleprompter, get this dude some glasses.

Just remembered how Mark cannonicly has his photos taken???? And sold I think??? Wtf???

Donovan had started a charity:((( he thinks his friends are gone

The date on the newspaper in the back keeps changing

Can I fight Billy??? I think I could take him easy

Mark straight up ate a razor blade get this kid a doctor

OH MY GOSH THEY'RE GOING TO THE DOCTOR

APOLLO HAS BLESSED ME

the eye test in the back reads "Mark has one more week before I kill him" if my new son dies I riot

Can I adopt Mark

Goal list; dispose, replace, repeat

I wonder if there are other shows featuring Donovan and Cupcake Monster?

Why were they kidnapped?

Befriend that strange man??? NOOOO

Did my son just kill Billy???? HELL YEAH

RUN BOY RUN

MY SON IS SAFE!!!!

In conclusion, I would like to adopt Cupcake Monster, they are now my child. I would also like to punch Billy repeatedly :D

[christianbalelover]

I'm back :)

(sorry if this is worded weirdly and doesnt make lots of sense, i'm kind of dizzy and nervous ) heyyy guys, so i literally left for like months and i dont know if anyone really noticed or something but i just wanna come here and give an update on my situation.

The reason i wasn't for all this time is cause i got kidnapped, it lasted for about a month and it was both me and my mom, i know this sounds fake and all but it like actually happen and even to this day i can't believe it happen.

The reason this even happen was cause i lived in a very very dangerous area and i even got warned to move out months prior but my parents decided to stay cause we had a really good house for a low price (i know it sounds like a lame excuse to stay, i thought so too but my mom insisted cause she said it was her dream home). It was thankfully only for ransom and even now i don't know how much said ransom was cause my dad never told me, i guess he didn't want me to worry but all that i know is that it was a lot.

It went better then i expected cause the kidnappers were surprisingly nice and gentle but that still doesn't excuse what they did but i'm happy i at least got lucky in that aspect, they fed us and gave us water but it was still a pretty small amount so we were really dehydrated and didn't feel well most of the time.

The day we got released was probably the best day of my life, i still feel like crying whenever i remember how it felt hugging my dad again after i thought i'd never see him again, or how everyone looked so happy to have us (me and my mom) back. I'm obviously not saying every single thing that happen as it was a very traumatic experience but also cause i don't want people i know to recognize me but what i'm saying is basically the summary of what happen, it was really rough and scary and there were so many times i though that this was the end for me but at the end i made it and i'm feeling better then ever, i haven't gotten therapy yet (still waiting for it, mom said she'll put me in therapy soon) so i still struggle with ptsd but over time its honestly gotten better and its way better then when i first got released cuz during that period it was so bad that every time i heard a slightly loud noise i panicked and thought i wanna get kidnapped again, yeah it was really rough but i always felt to scared to tell anyone cuz it felt embarrassing to tell people that, like i felt like they'd think i was weak yk?.

Its been a good amount of time since that happen now but i never came back to my account cause i wanted a break, but i finally felt ready to come out about it now. I honestly never thought i was important enough to even be a victim of something like this tbh so it was such a surprise for me, also something thats really crazy but like literally MINUTES before i got kidnapped i actually came here and i made a whole post saying i was scared cuz my parents werent safe (my grandma told me they were in trouble but i didn't get that she meant that my mom got taken and my stepdad was in trouble) but i never posted it cause my grandma interrupted me so i just saved it to drafts and like 5 minutes later while i was just sitting in my room waiting to get picked up, we heard someone coming up the stairs and then i got taken, i'm not gonna post it cause when i made that draft there was too much information on me and my family and where live and just allot of private stuff i can't post here but maybe I'll take a screenshot and like blur out something so you can see a little bit of it cause its just that crazy but just let me know if you want me to post it and don't be afraid to ask cause i really don't mind doing that and blurring the important stuff out.

Its crazy cuz if i had posted that, you guys wouldve probably known about my situation like days after it happen. This was super long and probably didn't make lots of sense lol sorry i'm just really nervous and don't really know what to say also i'm sorry if i said crazy to many times i js realized i like overused it.

I just wanna clarify that i'm doing better now and i also don't know if i'm gonna immediately gonna start posting again but i want abandon my account cuz i love this account so much so im gonna still stick with it. I love you guys so much and stay safe <333

[sharonisthebettercarter]

no hate but i don’t think madelyn was actually written to be romantically interested in or even really attracted to homelander. she definitely groomed him and would actively take advantage of his vulnerability which still really doesn’t make her any better but yk

i get what you're sayin' sweetheart... don't worry, i'm not gonna blow up on you, you were polite and for that at least i can thank you<3

it's up to interpretation and i think most in fandom actually see it this way too, but for me?

ultimately, i don't think it matters cause she still fucked him up pretty bad.

to a degree, i actually think this makes it worse (albeit a different kind of worse... but certainly not any better for sure) because it would mean that she was consciously aware that she was manipulating and leading on a child and didn't actually care or give a shit about him as *a child*, or even want him as an adult.

grooming him was just a means to an end and there was no pedophilic disorder (yes this is a real thing, not all people with it are actual predators that harm anyone and they can get treated for it before they harm anyone just the same, altho research to help has unfortunately been minimal) of any kind to attribute her actions to. which probably means that in the end...

she didn't see him as human either. just as a weapon or tool or an animal to use as she saw fit and that's... that's um... it's a lot.

honestly the whole situation with madelyn made me super uncomfortable watching and later thinking back on it, i know the ship is great for some and they should be allowed to explore that to the heart's content, have at it y'all.

but it's super triggering for me and i just... i can't.

if i'm honest, it really makes me wanna cry or vomit or somethimes both. it is one of the darkest things that happens to homelander, and i feel like *the* thing that is most likely to be dismissed in fandom, *especially* by some of those that proudly proclaim to love him.

i would even wager it's possible that *this* particular trauma that stillwell gave him is *exactly* the trauma that stunted his growth. i think he's *stuck* at the specific age he met *madelyn* and started interacting with her as his attachment to her even after he killed her was...

and that could mean a number of things, including the possibility that *a lot* more happened than we actually know about (and i would not at all be surprised if they confirmed this later as it would explain... well, let's just say it'd bridge a few more things)

lots of people think their relationship went the furthest it had ever gone at the end of the first season, and that it's mostly just *homelander* being attached and weird, but his *attachment* always struck me as way *way* deeper and traumatic than that, and that mindset has always felt a very dismissive to me. i don't know if i believe that and i wouldn't be surprised if the story proved otherwise eventually.

also anon... you made me sad and now i'm sad :(((((((((((((((((((((((( if at least a bit calmer with my blood pressure gone down, so again thanks for being poiite ;) still sad tho :(((((((((((((

[unhonestlymirror]

Yk, I was wrong. Scarlett O'hara is not stupid, she's just very VERY traumatized, people like her don't obey any logic.

The book constantly emphasises what a bad mother she is, how careless she is about her children - well, she had to sell her body to men she didn't like TWICE, she was 17 when she gave birth for the first time, she had to marry a literalp grandpa to save her family from poverty and hunger, and for that she had to give birth the second time, she was almost raped by some guys once - why the hell anyone who went through the same experience would love children? It's a miracle she didn't commit a suicide. It's a miracle she didn't hate her children. The fact that she loved parties and being rich is pretty innocent. Plus, she has a war trauma. For someone who had to walk through thousands of dying agonising friends, who had to help Melani give birth during shelling, who lived in occupation, who had to break the occupation with two children and one dying woman and find only ashes (metaphorically) instead of a home, dead mom and mentally disturbed father, who had to kill an occupier, who had to work in the fields day and night - for someone like this, Scarlett is extremely fast healing. And the only person who truly understood that was Melani, not even Rhett, because she saw that all.

Scarlett says, "I'll think about it tomorrow," not because she's too foolish to think but because she would have committed suicide if she thought about everything. And she has people to care about, she can't afford suicide. Her life does not belong to her - this is scarier than death. That's why her obsession with money and Ashley is not funny because his image has been something which really helped her to survive the war, to forget about how awful her life is, like alcoholism, and it's really hard to give up on habits like this even when you're safe. That's why she forbade herself subconsciously to realise she loves Rhett Buttler - she already had enough experience with her first two husbands. So often, everyone perceived her simply as a body to fuck, even Ashley eventually, she got used to that, and she believed it was normal, although it was never normal and she never liked it. Rhett was the only man who perceived her more than a body, but his constant dirty jokes played a cruel joke on him back.

I feel so sorry that Scarlett's life in the book ended like this. Tears well up in my eyes when I think about her.

[apoptoses]

Followed @desertfangs' advice and dropped everything I was doing so I could read chapter 2. As usual I thought I was ready and it turned out that I wasn't, not even a little bit. THIS!!! "Daniel didn’t meet his eyes. He was trying to bite back his smile, his teeth trapping his lower lip and holding it still. Armand’s last remaining resolve shattered", queen of characterization I swear. Your words evoke such clear images and capture the essence of the characters so effortlessly. This is one of those moments for both of them I think, specially re: how they play off each other. Daniel making every single victory count and Armand being unable to say no to him. Not when it truly counts at least. And then there was Daniel not knowing how to drive a modern car, Armand WANTING to be petty about it (he would lmao) but not succumbing to his impulses and actually guiding Daniel along. The role reversal to end all role reversals. Daniel's hand on his neck in the car, just perfection. “I certainly hope you’re watching the road" I mean SAME but I also want Daniel to keep petting him like a cat pls 🥹 Every single touch feels so immense, almost hurts to read. These are two people who know each other inside out, quite literally, they're experts on each other's bodies, to quote Anne herself, of course every intimate gesture would feel monumental after years of not touching each other.

And you were NOT kidding when you said they would be taking no prisoners and would get to have every single conversation they needed to have. "And how many of those times did I sit at home wondering if it would be the last, if you were done with me for good? The running, the begging for me to bring you home- do you not understand what it did to me?" LIKE THIS FOR INSTANCE. Yes, Daniel is rightfully angry about many things, but the fact that he pulled that move on heavily traumatized 500 y/o teenager with major abandonement issues time and time again for YEARS and didn't stop to think about the repercutions is worth talking about. Worth bringing up at a Waffle House in the middle of nowhere, USA, in fact lmao. Actually one of my biggest vc fandom pet peeves is how some people claim Armand left/"abandoned" Daniel shortly after turning him like... are we remembering things differently here? Did they read the same books? Are they just parroting stuff they've read on twitter? tf? Armand was nowhere near a perfect partner don't get me wrong but like, that part of the story is pretty clear cut in regards of who left who yk... like pls y'all be serious and stick to the facts. Goddamn. ANYHOW, I digress. They're in pain, I'm in pain, but god they need to talk about this before they can properly heal and get back together and try again. It's very much of a case of "if I loved you any less, I would be able to talk about it more" between them, isn't it? xoxo DA I love this sfm and can't wait for more 🥹 

DA 🥹 It took a hot minute to respond because your message struck a chord in me, and I ended up seriously redoing a conversation between Armand and Daniel in chapter four. But we'll get to that!!

I am so so so happy to hear that all of their little touches and expressions and gestures add up to create who they are!! I worry a lot about like...am I describing what Daniel is doing with his hands too much or is this building up the scene? Because I am aware I have a hand fetish and might be gratuitous but I feel like the micro-expressions and gestures are what make the scene come alive!

But YES to your point about role reversals and them knowing each other inside and out! I get so emotional about that, in the next chapter Armand will go on about all the secret things he knows about Daniel and how he changed his body and just. It's so much. It's a lot!!

And even BIGGER YES to the point about nobody getting off easy here, Daniel included.

We're gonna go in pretty hard on some of Armand's mistakes because he's so closed off and Daniel needs to open those wounds and find out what was going on underneath. But Daniel's running isn't getting ignored. I've really tried hard to have them both keep mentioning that they BOTH fucked up, that it's BOTH their faults the relationship failed, and they BOTH have to change. Nobody is a victim. Nobody is perfect.

And I wish Daniel's running got talked about more, though I understand why it doesn't. We never get a single word about their time together from Armand's POV until TVA and he goes into so little detail. You have to piece together the hurt yourself and these books have so much going on I think his wider abandonment issues (aside from Marius not rescuing him) end up falling through the cracks for all but the biggest Armand fans.

You held Daniel accountable here and now you've got me combing my draft to make sure all these loose ends are properly tied up ♥

Thursday we'll get a sweet moment between them so get ready for a break in the clouds. I hope you'll like it just as much!

[mortiflyer]

okay I have way too many thoughts about sab season 2 so here goes *deep breath*

on the "main storyline" side: as someone who hasn't read the sab books but has read soc duology, I rlly liked alina's storyline this season and thought it was decently paced for how few episodes there were. i loved mal and nikolai being friends and not having a random awful love triangle and that alina didn't love nikolai except for platonically! made sense.

baghra kicked ass and ben was again amazing as the d*rkling. loved seeing alinas struggle and his side even though i hate him, because we got to see genya. (SIDE NOTE GENYADAVID WRECKED ME.)

mal being sturmhond was actually a nice twist imo. the twins ROCK and i love tamar and nadia sm. adrik too he's so cute.

on the crows side: even though i adore the crows (and there were zero faults with the cast's performances, as usual), i found myself a little disappointed with some of the writing. some decisions to put book scenes in early made sense (MORE SENSE THAN SOME OF YOU WILL GIVE THEM CREDIT FOR, considering they want to feed us crumbs IF the show gets cancelled), but generally it was disorienting to see the ck plotline, or at least part of it.

i think that the one great thing abt the ck plotline is that it opens up new implications for matthias and pekka's motives, both towards each other and towards kaz, and i love that idea. it's something i'm the most excited for, honestly.

kaz's backstory was well-done and well-acted by jordie, young kaz, and current kaz! freddy continues to be an absolute superstar and one of my favorites in the cast. one thing about kaz, tho: i HATED that the dregs weren't already his crew...like girl who tf is running the crow club. kaz is older in this iteration but not by THAT MUCH...anyways i do think it'll provide basis for the big bolliger/not trusting kaz scene at the beginning of the real soc plot but i still didn't like it.

the other major thing i hated was how rushed wesper was (this one is pretty obvious), but let me also volunteer this: it made sense. of the crows, they have the least traumatic relationship (even tho they have personal traumas yk), and because we can't guarantee that the show will get a spinoff, SOMEONE has to end up happy. thus, no slow burn. annoyed about it, but it's not unreasonable + i adore jack and kit together.

kaNEJ THIS SEASON OMG. the scene in the chapel at the end of the season...wow. i thought it was superbly done and made sense in the storyline of the show, despite being from the books. yes, they had some slightly rushed moments, but again, no guarantees for another season. also this means they're probably planning even more development for a spinoff!!

helnik...cal and dani blow me away even when they're not together?? how do they do that?? amazing. i loved the tension; it was just like the books.

jesper's powers becoming stronger after he hallucinates aditi were a nice touch imo. when colm comes around he'll have to reckon with himself even more now, so that's actually interesting + good setup. he was amazing in episode seven!!!

INEJ SAVING ALINA AGAIN. the implications it has for her religious beliefs are so wow. also, her looking for slavers with sturmhond (MAL!) and the crew is great bc we'll see her again, but it also gives her a minor amount of closure. not full closure, but enough to keep fans wanting to see her again.

on a general note: my favorite episodes were five and seven. i thought five did character interactions super well (specifically nina/kaz and kanej), and seven brought the characters from both storylines together in a way that was, imo, better than last season. also, in episode eight: ALINA USING THE DARK CUT ON THE PAREM SOLDIER?? WOWOWOWW I LOVE THAT I'M SO EXCITED. people will be mad kaz knew about parem before van eck told him but my guess is that the van eck kidnapping stuff DID happen and we just didn't see it yet (wait for spinoff!!)

i'll definitely have to write more posts as it settles in, but yeah...that's the gist of it lol. basically: i will always be a show defender, even if there's clumsy writing and some hamfisting!! i love that damn show!! i am really excited to see them again (praying for a spinoff) and i loved the way the season ended tbh.

[obsessedwiththedragonprince]

se4 ep2 thoughts

love that Claudia has a boyfriend getting on Viren's nerves like lmaooo

also there's a cloud of doom over that mountain and everyone's just like ehh it's fine?

why does everyone has shorter hair? Literally everyone.

That transition from Zym (not) eating his veggies to Claudia, Viren and Terry walking up the mountain and the veggies falling down? Creative. Love that.

That reminds me. I just feel like the end of every episode is just like weird? Just fades away. Anticlimatic.

Also love that they're actually talking about PTSD after a traumatic event with Viren!! Like the dude died! That has consequences on his mental health!

And Terry just being supportive of Claudia and caring about Viren because she does? Gimme that. Just a bit weird to me how he ignores the dark magic part. Like okay if he just looked away(methaphorically) but he uses it too? And isn't weird about it? What's up with that?

Love that Bait and Callum are closer, even tho that prolly means Ezran isn't as much anymore? Which not okay.

I'm writing this as I watch so myb at the end of the episode I'll already have a different opinion but. Viren showed a lot of potential to be redeemed imo. In all those flashbacks, he seemed like a misguided but genuinely good person. And he really loves Claudia. That DOES NOT in any way mean what he's doing and how he behaves is okay(it's clear how he sees Soren as someone lesser, and despite loving Claudia, he often uses and manipulates her) but I'm in the middle of that scene where he's thinking about just living those last 30 days and I have a feeling Claudia will not accept that and now the roles will reverse and she'll be the one who pulls him away from possible redemption because she can't lose him.

I WAS RIGHTT!!! I mean kinda obvious because Claudia is who she is but. Yk.

Idk if I've mentioned before but I love how much representation there is in TDP! Like LGBTQIA+ is not just one side couple to tick off a box but many important characters with meaningful roles in the story! Such a long way from not being able to give us one Korasami kiss(if u watched LOK - same creators but nickelodeon - u know what i mean). Also love Amaya being deaf and it not being her defining characteristic.

Rayla is backk!!! Yass!

So I forgot ending credits are actually great but I stop watching on those anti-climatic black ones lol.

[globodamorte]

...is jeongdo planting memories in seongbin's head. hear me out.

ok first of all I literally almost threw up reading this episode. the music was a cool touch but the way jeongdo was pressing seongbin like "I need to humiliate him" "he's thinking he's better than us bc were being slandered by the media" (which btw way to make your personal feelings seep into the investigation asshole. the media is slandering y'all bc y'all are incompetent pigs. like. sometimes I thought I was going too far with jeongdo's obsession with seongbin but this confirms it for me. he's making it personal. he's making it about himself) "I need to come up with something doesn't matter if I'm wrong" "you were scared of being just like your mother" idk felt so icky to me. literally how dare you talk about his mother like that. how dare you bring up his abuse and purposefully trigger him.

"uuuhh but investigation tactics" if purposefully triggering trauma in people is investigation tactics then they're are abusive end of story lmao fuck off. there's ways to interrogate people without traumatizing them.

anyway.

we know seongbin said "I don't think I would do that". this highly indicates he doesn't remember killing anyone.

God fucking dammit I can't write properly I'm just so disappointed. I hate this lmao

anyway wtf was I saying. yeah he doesn't remember much and so the pressure of a policeman saying "we know what happened even though you don't" can fr just. make seongbin accept those "memories" as the truth. jeongdo may be literally gaslighting seongbin into believing that he did it.

like. idk how relatable this is. but yk that feeling when you don't know if something that seemed to have happened in your childhood actually happened or if it was a dream? also sometimes when I'm asked to recall something I don't remember, often I'll think "I can imagine/see myself doing this" but I'll still not know for certain. does that make sense? now imagine this feeling while being under severe mental distress

what I mean is seongbin is not in the right state of mind to be able to say for certain that he's remembering things. also jeongdo kept pressing and triggering him of course he'll not be stable enough to think properly. his mom just died too and the pigs that tased him are shit talking her.

I'm seriously so upset I might cry. bashi I'm gonna grab your foot when you're asleep.

I'm also so pissed at jeongdo fr IDC anymore. fucking pig I hope he chokes on mud

everyone in this webtoon is an unreliable narrator. so I can safely say that no, we can't be sure those "memories" are even real they could just be jeongdo's re-imagining of the murder

I hope maybe Dr. ju intervenes somehow. as the psychiatrist I hope she can do something. isn't this a thing like in trials? where you can object bc they're inducing the person to think/answer in a specific way? maybe she'll intervene bc his testimony won't be reliable idk whatever

I don't know what to say. this doesn't feel satisfying. the puzzle pieces seem to be falling into place but I keep thinking "this can't be it... it's too easy"

I can only hold on to the hope that I'm right on my meta analysis of the series as a whole and boy if I am right... oh boy...

but on the other hand I literally can't help but think that something's wrong. and idk maybe it's because I keep thinking there's No Way they'll go through this cliched overused and most of all offensive and ableist route. but what if they do? what then lol I'm seriously so sad

I can't even joke about how if there's a twist and it's not seongbin then I'll suck bashi so silly and sloppy like i feel defeated. they're torturing me they don't deserve my tornado blowjob... not now at least. even if bashi defeats the ableist allegations they won't defeat the psychological torturer ones 😔

to the one person who reads these. I'm so sorry this is so messy

[spacedykez]

a breakdown of why killing kind is a tma song, which makes sense to Me And Only Me, because I Have Brainrot. disclaimer there WILL be spoilers for mag200

I roam these halls, search the night, in hopes that I may see A remnant trace, a glimpse of you

listen. listen okay. literally everyone. they have all changed so much none of them are the same ppl they were at the beginning. any of them could be saying this, saying "i miss the person i knew"

"I stare into the deep" & "the deep stares back, speaks to me"

the deep is the entites, any and all, no i cannot explain no i cannot elaborate. perhaps this is jon and the deep is the eye.

Saying I know, I know, I know, I know, I know my love can be I know my love can be the killing kind

jmart <3 particularly jon thinking that martin wouldn't have been dragged into any of This is not for him

What if I was wrong by never moving on? I didn't realize who's gone

not!sasha

The ghost in me was true but you were haunted too just Didn't see it all along

any of them not realizing how badly the others are traumatized by literally any event

Nevermore to leave here Nevermore to leave here You should never be here

idk why but this just feels like jmart to me. like. u shouldn't be involved in this but you Are.

Here and now, if this is it Can't get out from under it

can't get out. can't escape. kidnappings. reading statements. yknow.

There and then, I should have known It was me all along

jon realizing he's an avatar & probably feeling guilty as he does

Try and try to let you go, and I'll just disappear Go down below where children go and we all float down here

feels very hopeless, very i-have-given up. s2 jon distancing himself from everyone.

Stirs of whispers trail and linger You still haunt the corners of my heart

look. look okay. there are better connections im sure but. the whispers line feels very lonelycore and this just feels jmart yknow

Singing "Don't love the bottle but the bottle loves me" One for the memory, two for the pain Singing "Don't love the bottle with the deeper disdain"

discord has heard this before but if we make the bottle is a metaphor for the Beholding then this line woks very well

I think of you I dream of you Evermore

literally just they okay

Hey, do you hear me, do you hear me now? On a midnight dreary Stay, stay near me, stay near me now

Oh yeah (Do you hear me?) Don't you hear me? (Do you hear me?) Don't you hear me? (Do you hear me) Don't you hear me now?

mag159-160 iykyk

If madness overtakes us both Then nobody would be alone The ghost of us can linger here Forever not to disappear

if they sacrifice themselves then nobody will be alone aka nobody will be consumed by the fears. their ghosts (the stories of jon and martin, as well as the trauma of the eyepocalypse) will linger long after and will not be forgotten

I, oh, here and now If this is it Why don't we just savor it?

mag 198-199. jmart... *cries*

and finally, the climax where the music swells and the song is screaming and its intense and yeah yk?

thats mag200 thats the climax thats the overwhelming energy of the panopticon thats. brb crying about the ending again