#Can you imagine the emotion and the angst that Kara would go through!

[owl-with-a-pen]

If I could interest you in some more Naltorian mannerism headcanons, please allow me to introduce The Stare. They do this when they're nervous, anticipating some kind of trouble, or straight up expecting to be harmed.

I imagine it's not always subtle, and it can be very creepy. Just a wide-eyed, no-blinking-allowed stare that they will hold for a ridiculous period of time. It serves multiple communication purposes; clueing each other in on trouble, letting someone know they're freaking the Naltorian in question out, or even sometimes being indicative of hostility or an expectation that they're going to be fighting.

Nia does is unconsciously, as they all do, and it's actually really useful. Because her intuition is incredible, she'll start doing this before her conscious mind even realizes there's potential danger, and one of her friends will see her staring and be clued in to the fact that something's not right.

And if you want angst, I think that in the bad timeline, something that would temporarily bring back some semblance of Brainy's old self is the realization that Nia is staring at him. Something about her giving him the Naltorian sign for "I am afraid of you"/"I think you're going to hurt me" would have him feeling some type of way.

Back to less painful regular timeline things, I think it would be sweet if Brainy was always the first person to clock that she's not blinking and immediately check on her/check their surroundings for whatever's making her so nervous. He also trusts that stare, no questions asked. If Nia is staring at someone, even if they've done nothing wrong, that person is dangerous and he doesn't care what anyone else thinks. He knows she doesn't do that for no reason.

Ooo you know this ties into the intuition that dream-visions must give Naltorians quite nicely. While Nia can choose to try and scope the future through her dreams, a lot of her visions don't give her that sort of warning, so the idea that Naltorians have a more conscious instinct to their precognitive abilities as well is super intriguing.

"The Stare" is also quite a stark contrast against a dream vision. A vision gives a Naltorian an abstract series of images of a possible future that forces their eyes closed, but "The Stare" would be the opposite of this. An aggressive intuition that something is Wrong that forces their eyes wide open instead of shut. It doesn't give them quite as much insight and isn't even that easy for the individual experiencing it to read, but it's enough to let anyone around them know that they need to have their guard up.

Also oh my god though it hurts, having dark timeline!Brainy recognise Nia's stare when she sees him for that first time would be so good. From what we saw of the dark timeline, whatever Lena did to Brainy didn't totally eradicate his emotions like she'd wanted, but rather totally messed him up to an extent that he can't make the the right connections between what he's seeing and what he's feeling. I imagine him being curious when he sees Nia's reaction, like he can tell its affecting a part of him but he's not sure why. Even still, his eyes begin to burn and maybe he doesn't feel the tears on his face, but Nia certainly sees them.

Also also, to add even more Angst, what if Nia isn't alone when she first sees Brainy post his kidnapping? What if Kara or Alex or any member of the Super Friends are with her intending for this to be a rescue mission. But, the second they see Nia stop dead and just stare at Brainy with that gut instinct of 'something is horribly wrong', they don't even question it, they pull their weapon on Brainy immediately knowing Lena's done something irreparably wrong to him.

Okay okay, going back to the cuter aspect, I love that Brainy would be the one to clock Nia going into stare mode. They check in on each other so naturally ever since Leviathan and all that followed that Brainy is always the first to notice if Nia has frozen up. Just like he's always there for her when she falls into a vision, he'll be there to have her back if she has a bad feeling about any situation or person that they meet. They face that stuff together, always. 💜

[justmickeyfornow]

1) gay things and-stuff I'm sick and drowsy rn so idk if the way I word this question will even make sense but we'll see. So I was wondering if you're going include Argo city being alive/not destroyed (idk what other words to use) In PI? I was thinking about It because Kryptonian culture and Kara's past seems to have played a very big part of the storyline for PI, what with her sharing that part of her life with Lena.

Wow! Now this is my type of ask! The second part of your ask is actually a super brilliant idea btw! Why didn't I think of that! It could be like

Paranoia Incarnated Season 1 - - > Defeating Fright and Lex Luthor

Paranoia Incarnated Season 2 - - > Lillian Luthor is back

Paranoia Incarnated Season 3 - - > Resisting the pout of Leia Danvers Luthor

Oh God! I could literally see it happening! It would be such an awesome project. But it would also make PI 100 chapters longer wouldn't it?!! I don't know if I'm ready for that commitment to be honest. My commitment issues are tingling! But I'm also at the same time really tempted to do it!!

As far as how long I expect PI to go on... Well let's just saaaaaaaay.....

This story was supposedly supposed to be only like 5 or 6 chapters long!

Definitely not 40!

But now that's its 40 chapter long, I expect it to last until maybe - maaaaaaaybe - chapter 50. Basically in the next 10 chapters I have to include the following list of things

Defeat Lex luthor

Cure Kara

Plan a first date for Kara and Lena (can you believe 40 chapters later and they STILL haven't gone on a single first date??!! Talk about complicated!)

Have Kara and Lena say "I love you" (yup they still haven't said I love yous yet either!)

Adopt Leia

Maybe have Kara and Lena get married or something

+ a bunch of other plot holes that need to be tied that I can't remember at the moment (if you remember any, send em my way)

And I figured I could probably fit all of that in about 10 chapters so I've decided 50 would be the number to stop.

(I say this with the upmost uncertainty since I tend to change my mind like a teenager changes moods... A LOT!)

But, your idea seems like a nice way of extending the PI universe while at the same time putting an end to things in a way. Season 1 would be over but season 2 we would see a new villain just like how TV shows are usually. Don't know if I would be able to do it, but I'll definitely think about it!

And now moving on to Argo!

Let's get into it shall we! Now as we all know, Argo City is supposedly not "dead" per se, but is actually the only piece of Krypton still intact (and I say per se because eventually it does die... Sorry if that was a spoiler for some people). Protected by a dome around it, Argo City was saved from the destruction of Krypton by Kara's parents Zor-El and Alura. Not too sure how the CW Supergirl writers explained it, but this is what I know from the actual comics.

When I wrote the Krypton Chapters - which can I please mention that they're probably my favorite chapters!! - I had no intention of bringing back Argo City. At least not in the semi-plan I had in mind when it came to PI's plot. I knew that Argo was "alive" and I toyed with the idea of maybe putting in a small detail that acted as foreshadowing that Argo was still out there. But then I felt it would distract me from Fright and her arch, so I decided against it.

I figured maybe somewhere in the very long run, maaaaaaaybe. But I didn't have it planned that's for sure. Truth be told, the main reason behind the Krypton Chapters was that I I needed what I like to call "The Calm Before the Storm" type of chapter.

Basically it goes something like this. Your readers are reading a conflict filled story with a villain on the loose that hasn't been defeated yet. As a writer, you give them a little something to make them feel safe, some happy moments, some laughs, some making out on the couch, make them forget about the villain a tad bit and then BAM! You bring back the villain, shoot the main character, unleash hell, kidnap the love interest, evil laugh here, evil laugh there, and a gun to the head!

You wanna make it even worse for your readers? Tell them what's gonna happen! Show them the horrible thing before bringing the happy moments. Sorta like what I did in PI. I showed the scene where Kara got shot and then ended it on a cliffhanger. Then made the next scene to be a flashback just before the scene where Kara got shot. I put in two whole chapter of beautiful bliss, where Kara and Lena were never happier, having ample amounts of sex, making out randomly while preparing dinner, talking about their childhoods to one another, jokes and laughs, and pretty much all the good stuff! And then BAM! The next chapter is the scene where everyone was left at in the present time!

At the same time, I wanted Kara and Lena to really really connect after the whole reveal fiasco. A lot of my readers were a bit confused after the reveal as to how they would get back together when everything seemed like shit. If you recall, back in the chapters about the reveal, Lena was in a very very dark place. And Kara was equally in a dark place for feelingg guilty about lying. And many people thought that it would be impossible to build that trust back. And the Krypton Chapters were written on the basis of rebuilding that same trust. The first part of the Krypton Chapters was Kara telling her about Krypton and the second part was about Lena telling her about Lex, the Lex from her childhood. And that was something that Lena had never done before, not with anyone.

So, to answer your question, no I don't have a plan to bring Argo into PI. At least not yet. If I do, then get ready for PI to be extended to 80 chapters!

For now, I want to close all the plots I already have opened! Maybe take the two on a proper first date for God sakes!

[absentia-if]

I´m imagining what K and MC´s reunion is going to be like, like MC being very emotional and relieved to see K again, hugging them only to see Gabby right there and someone having to explain the situation and then mc being confused and withdrawn cause they don´t know to feel and feel kinda guilty? Oh the angst 😭

Also, I´d feel very much like an intruder into people´s life after being not a part of it for so long I can´t imagine the insecurities mc could possibly face, it must be a lonely thing 🥺 how would the RO´s deal with an mc who feels this way?

That’ll definitely be a fun scene to delve into it (I have the rough outline done but I���m excited to flesh it out). K will understand completely and feel anxiety bubbling within their chest because what are they supposed to do? How can their dreams be coming true and not turning into a complete nightmare? Gabby will read the situation within the room and politely excuse themselves after saying something to you; they don’t wish to impose their presence on anyone.

As for how the ROs would react?

Kade/Kara: “You’re not intruding on anything,” they immediately deny as they take your hand into their own. “Our life together isn’t over it—” They pause as they let loose a soft breath of air through their nose. “It was just put on hold for a little while, okay? You’re not on the outside looking in, I swear that to you, and I’ll do my best to prove that to you.”

Michael/Margot: A soft look etched itself across their face as they gently caress your cheek. The softest of smiles quirking their lips hoping to elicit the same reaction from you. “I’ve been the outcast for a very long time within my family.” They hook their fingers underneath your chin in order for you to look squarely into their eyes; they’re completely open gaze. “And, I swear on everything that I believe in, you’re not an outcast. You’re exactly where you’re supposed to be and I am exactly where I was meant to be. By your side.”

Blaine/Blaire: “Do you want to get away for a while?” The question was posed as they nuzzle happily into your neck; their arms looped loosely around your waist as they shift ever closer to you. Warm breath ghosting across your skin as a light chuckle escapes them. “You know my cousins have that cabin up north. I think it’d be nice to get away where it’s just the two of us. And I can show you that you’re not an intruder. You’re right where you’re supposed to be.”

Wren/Wynn: “I didn’t know you felt this way.” Their lips thin into a line as a troubled frown furrows their brow. “I wish there was something I could do, that I could say, that would change your mind but, I believe, that the only thing that can help is time. Time for you to see the happiness and joy that you bring into the lives of the people that love you. Time for you to see how much your mere presence helps them keep going. You’re not an intruder. You’re the farthest thing from it.”

Nicholas/Natalie: “How can you be an intruder when I’ve invited you into my life?” A confused frown furrows their brow as they gaze inquisitively at you. Their head tilting slightly, reminding you of Beau, as they cross their arms over their chest. “I don’t think you’re an intruder. You’re more like a very special guest that I’ve allowed into my life. That I’ve allowed into Beau’s. Don’t think that you’re unwanted because that’s the farthest thing from the truth. I promise.”

[thewitchandtheassassin]

What Would An Angel Say, The Devil Wants to Know Part Four (Lena Luthor x Reader)

(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three)

Summary: Why can’t you learn to control your emotions?

Words: 1576

Warnings: Language, angst, talks of violence.

Taglist:  @natasharomanoffswife @natasha-danvers @aaron-despair @username23345 @xjiasx @nowthisisliving27 @higherfurther-romanova @summergeezburr @marvels-writings @onlyafewfindtheway @captain-josslett @hayleyokami​ @aznblossom​

A/N: So I did a thing. And here we are.

-X-

Planning a demise wasn't terribly time consuming when someone like Lockwood was helping. Dastardly and vile, his ideas were straight to the point as you discussed your options. While you couldn't outright end the human's life with your own hands, he was quick to point out the most effective options that even a great angel like Lena couldn't stop. Cars were too uncertain and, while the elevator had been a good touch, something like that was too preventable.

"You need quick. Abrupt. No possible room for survival," Ben advised, sunglasses obscuring his face despite having no need for them as he eyed the blonde strolling briskly past you, none the wiser of your existences.

"True, but we have to be smart," you added, glancing around in search of Lena's tell: her "heavenly" glimmer.

"Yes, yes, I know. Your little angel is cunning but I think you give her too much credit," Ben replied, his eyes undoubtedly rolling as he sneered at the humans walking along.

Snorting, you jabbed your dagger into his side, ignoring his hiss of pain or the way he swatted at your hand. "No, I'm just not arrogant enough to underestimate her."

Your eyes strayed back to Kara as she slipped back into her office building and then - only then - did you seem the shine of the angel that often haunted your thoughts. The cretins of the earth couldn't see her but you could, her dark locks fluttering in the wind as she gazed back at you pleadingly.

Pieces of you hated her. Truly. Deeply. You would bear marks for the rest of eternity because of her.

But in the same token, you couldn't deny that your memories with her often left your stomach twisted in knots as you reminisced over the smile that made your heart ache. It hurt, remembering how things had once been. Before you were forced to fight with her; fight for your life.

You could see Lena's expression shift the moment it dawned on her who was standing beside you. The way her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed, defiantly glaring at the smug demon beside you.

"Uh oh. I think your little angel recognizes me," Ben cackled, fingers curled into a taunting wave.

Snarling your lip, you growled, "She's not my angel, you ass. Now shut up before I cut your fucking tongue out."

Ben clicked his tongue disapprovingly. "Testy, testy, (Y/N). Such a killjoy."

Cutting your eyes at him, your grip tightened on your dagger. "Shut. The. Fuck. Up."

You glanced back over to the building, but Lena was nowhere to be seen.

-X-

Querl studied his ward curiously, occasionally reading whatever Nia was writing though his stare always returned to the woman he was sent to protect. She was so entrancing and for once in his existence, Querl wished to be human again. If only for a day.

So enthralled by Nia, he didn't notice Lena's presence until her voice startled him off the desk he'd been perched on.

"Gods, Lena, you scared me!" he yelped, clutching his chest as he stared at the openly bothered woman.

"Maybe if you had been paying attention to your surroundings and not gawking, you would've noticed me," Lena scolded, though her words held no real bite to them.

"You seem troubled." Querl's brows furrowed together worriedly. "Are you okay?"

Shaking her head, Lena snagged her bottom lip between her teeth before sighing. "No. Complications have arisen and I'm unsure of what's going to happen."

"What complications?"

Peering over at Kara's messy desk, her nostrils flared slightly. "It appears (Y/N) has been given a helper. Lockwood."

Inhaling sharply, Querl's eyes flitted between Nia and Kara. "What should we do?"

"Be watchful. And careful. (Y/N) might have once been a friend but with Lockwood here, we must be vigilant or they'll both be dead before we can stop it."

It was difficult, accepting your new role in her life. Mortal enemies instead of teasing rivals you'd once been. Friends no longer, especially if you were willing to work with him.

A monster in every sense of the word.

"If she's working with him, you need to be careful. This seems way more personal than just an assignment," Querl advised sagely. "I want to believe it isn't but I can't imagine Ben will let this finish without trying to end you. Or having her try to kill you, to prove herself."

Your punishment had been no secret, most of the guardians far too aware of what your friendship with Lena had left you with, the bad blood thick and the scars deep.

"(Y/N) wouldn't..."

"Maybe the old (Y/N) wouldn't but now? Everything is different, Lena. You must accept that. Putting too much faith in her could cost us everything."

Swallowing dryly, the angel nodded. He was right...

She just wished he wasn't.

-X-

"We could always send a helicopter crashing into the building," Ben mused, scratching his chin thoughtfully. "If that didn't kill the human, surely the building collapsing would."

"That would kill too many others," you argued, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of your nose. "We're supposed to be discreet. Dropping a building on a bunch of them definitely wouldn't be discreet."

Lockwood shrugged, completely unbothered by his suggestion. "The human must die. At least we'd know for sure she was dead. Plus Querl's little charge is up there. Two sad, pathetic birds. One mighty stone."

"Not a chance, Woody, pick a new idea."

Ben sneered. He hated that nickname and you knew it, only using it to get under his skin. "Fine."

Smirking at his obvious annoyance, you peered up at the sky absently, noting the darkening clouds. You couldn't remember life as a human (if you'd ever been one to begin with) but you almost wished you could if only to feel the rain on your skin. It seemed like such a peaceful experience, the water trickling over flesh, soaking into clothes instead of rolling off dark wings.

"I'm going to see if I can come up with a better plan," you jeered, heading for the building before he could reply.

Stretching your wings, you kicked off the ground and slowly maneuvered to the floor your mark resided on, eyeing the oblivious blonde through the window. You were well aware you'd be attracting unwanted attention but you couldn't stand being around Ben any longer. If you didn't get a few minutes of space, you were likely to ram your dagger into his throat and send him back to the underworld without his body.

The shift of the air was apparent and you smirked knowingly at Lena's reflection in the glass.

"Stop smirking at me," Lena demanded, arms crossed in frustration.

Snorting, you twisted to face her, brow arching in amusement. "Or what?"

"You're working with Lockwood now?" she questioned, ignoring the challenge hidden in your words. "You hate that spawn of Hell."

You shrugged nonchalantly, peering at the throngs of people below. "He's my ticket to survival."

"He's a slimy coward who wants you dead!"

"Clearly so do you!" you shouted, eyes narrowing into a venomous glare dripping with disdain. "At least he's trying to keep me alive a little longer."

"You're an idiot if you really believe that."

Rolling your eyes, you inched closer to the infuriated woman. "No, I was an idiot thinking you ever cared about me, Lena. At least Lockwood doesn't lie to my face and pretend to be my friend."

"I am your friend!" Lena screamed, the green of her irises dissolving as energy flowed through her. "I don't want you to die!"

As if sensing the tension, the sky went alight with lightning as rain began to flow, startling the humans and hurriedly soaking them to the bone. If only it could wash away the anguish and pain twisting your insides; silence the beasts banging around in your head.

"Bullshit! You pretend to be some pure, precious guardian but you're really just as manipulative and cruel as every other angel. You think that energy of yours makes you above everyone but you're no better than me! And I should've seen that instead of falling in love with some white-winged bitch!" You shoved her, hard, barely containing the want to strangle the guardian who'd ruined you.

Fury washed over you in waves, rendering you heedless of the unwitting admittance that had passed your parted lips, only the sounds of your enraged breathes ringing in your ears. A flurry of emotions crossed Lena's features but you didn't care, simply wanting to either bolt away from the angel or toss her into the sun.

Whichever was easier.

"Y-you're in love with me?" she whispered, the power draining away and leaving behind imploring emeralds that were glassy with something.

The blood drained from your face as you poured through your last words. You had never meant to say that. Because you weren't in love with her. Couldn't be. There was no love in your heart, especially for her.

"I..."

Lena's fingers twitched, the urge to reach out overwhelming as she silently begged you to stay. To help her understand.

"(Y/N)-"

Shaking your head violently, you jerked backward. "No! No, no, no. I don't - I can't - fuck!"

Red lips dipped open but you didn't stay long enough to hear what she had to stay.

Fire erupted...

And then you were gone.

[dameronology]

asystole {obi-wan kenobi x reader}

summary: ‘the trouble is the way you stick, to any part of me that remains in tact/but if i pull the plug, it isn’t only me i’m holding back’ - asystole, hayley williams (a.k.a ‘the one where you’re the bane of obi-wan’s life, even as a force ghost’) 

warnings: mentions of death, swearing, angst, and me not having a single fucking clue how force ghosts work 

this was originally based on a random idea i had and also encouragement from kara/@hellotherekenobi who requested a prompt that i completely forgot to include but...we move. also, i would highly highly recommend listening to the above song just because it’s a real tear jerker and i lOVE it 

enjoy 

- jazz 

Loss, for Obi-Wan, was not a stranger. It was an old acquaintance, constantly lingering beside him -- not quite there, but not gone either. He could always feel its presence, a constant and painful reminder of everyone he’d lost. He could probably count them all one hand but that didn’t make it any better. Loss was loss, whether it were two people or ten. Even if his grief had stopped and started with the passing of his master all those years ago, it was still something he felt in its wholeness and in its entirety. Because that’s all Obi-Wan could do: feel. It was everything or nothing. Zero percent or one hundred.

And with you, he wished it were nothing. He wished that your sudden absence from his life was something he didn’t have to feel in every fibre of his being. It was hard enough to acknowledge and even more painful to comprehend. You were the one person he’d always just assumed would be there forever. How foolish it now seemed, he was very much aware. Everybody died -- Qui-Gon Jinn was a testament to that; as was Satine Kryze and quite literally every other person in the galaxy who’d had the pleasure of being reminded of their mortality. It was just that this was...it was you. You weren’t immortal by any means but maker, you had acted like it. The way you went about life with an air of recklessness and discontent for the rules, making even the hardest of missions into an adventure. His life had been a thousand times better since you’d come running - nay, stumbling - into it. You’d blown his entire world to bits and pieced it back together with tiny, intricate bits of yours. Filled it with chaos and laughter and a light he hadn’t felt since the days of his youth. 

Perhaps most importantly, you’d looked after one another. He would stay by your side 24/7 to make sure you kept your head screwed on your shoulders, and you would pester him to drink water and remember to eat. He would remind you when you had important missions and meetings, and in return, you’d proof-read his paper work. He remembered the first time he’d fallen asleep beside you, to wake up with a blanket wrapped around him and his boots pulled off. It was so clear in his head because it was the first time someone had ever done anything for him without asking. It became something you did often, and though he never said it, it was something he kept so close to his heart. 

Obi-Wan wasn’t a fool. He knew you weren’t going to be around forever - he just didn’t realise that not forever was going to be a whole lot sooner that he’d anticipated. He used to make jokes about how your recklessness would one day lead to your demise. The idea of it made him feel sick now. He’d been right the entire time. He didn’t want it to be real.

None of it felt real. The whole conversation he’d had with Mace Windu about you not making it felt like a distant nightmare, something he’d tried so hard to wake up from, only to find that he was wide awake the entire fucking time. Night terrors were bad, but reality was arguably worse. 

It didn’t feel right at first, to see your chambers still filled with your stuff and your lightsaber still resting on your nightstand. Obi had been the one to put it there when you’d been taken to the infirmary, thinking you would have asked for it when you woke up - but you didn’t. It went hand-in-hand with the robes he’d hung up on your door and the get well soon, moron card he’d brought you. 

Then, they emptied your room. Took your clothes and your books and every other worldly possession you had. Your name was removed from the door to your quarters and added to the list of Jedi who had died in combat on the stone in the Temple gardens. Aside from that, any sign that you had ever walked the halls or burst into council meetings at the last minute was gone. You lived on only in his memories, your lopsided smile ingrained into his mind and contagious laugh echoing constantly in his brain. 

Throwing himself into work was the only option for Obi-Wan. He already took on a thousand things at once, but without you to help bare the weight, it became a million. If he was busy, he didn’t have time to think -- about you, or how fucking fragile everything was, or about all the ways he could have saved you. You’d slipped through his fingers, even when he’d be holding on so tightly. It wasn’t his fault. It was just...life. 

A few weeks passed, and Obi-Wan continued to push himself. Everybody noticed it -- how suddenly busy he was, how quiet he’d become, how tired he looks. Blue eyes had grown exhausted with grief and regret, strawberry blonde hair becoming longer and unrulier than was characteristic for him. When you’d died, you’d taken a tiny piece of him with you. An important part. Maybe that part had been you. 

It was on a cold Tuesday evening that he heard the four words. Sat out on the balcony of his quarters, watching Coruscant and life pass by in a blur ahead of him, a tangle of traffic and noise and a million sounds that he couldn’t quite decipher. The sky was a navy blue, cast with the tiny little glints and dots of distant planets. All worlds that you’d once promised to explore 

‘You look like shit.’  

He thought he’d imagined it at first. In fact, it wouldn’t have been the first time in the last few weeks that the sound of your voice in his head had felt clear enough to be real. Imagining things - hallucinations and echoes of the long gone - was simply part of the grieving process. A process he’d gone through countless times before. 

 The sudden appearance of you in the corner of his eye jolted him like an electric shock. Perhaps not that far off of the emotional equivalent of being hit by a bus. Or a light freighter. Or...all of those things at once. 

You were ethereal. When he’d last seen you, you’d been...tired. Now, you were smiling and radiating some sort of energy that could only be described as quintessentially you. There was not a chance in hell that a grief-induced hallucination could be so life-like, so crystal clear. Plus, why would he have imagined you like this, slightly transparent and with a blue glow surrounding you? A fitting colour for your final form, he figured. 

‘Shocked to see me?’ Your drawl continued. ‘Because if you think you’re shocked, let me tell you. One second I was napping and the next I was a fucking Force ghost. Could you imagine?’

Obi-Wan smiled softly. ‘I don’t think I could.’

‘I can float through walls, though.’ You grinned. ‘How cool is that?’

‘It’s...that’s very cool.’ He replied. ‘I don’t suppose you can hug Force ghosts?’

Obi-Wan reached his palm out towards you - slowly but surely, as though he were scared you were going to fade away all over again if he touched you. You mimicked his actions, faded blue fingertips just moments away from his. When they finally touched, they didn’t. You felt nothing. He felt a rush of cold, as though somebody had poured a bucket of cold water over him.

He didn’t fully understand the concept of Force ghosts. Studied them, sure. Understood them? Not quite. There weren’t enough Jedi texts in the galaxy to fully capture the complexity of what made somebody come back. Often, they were linked to acts of heroism, or stemming from action taken when the person was still alive. That didn’t seem like you though. You weren’t the sort of person to try to fiddle with jinxes and hijinkery that would allow you to come back once you were dead - at least not purposefully. There was certainly every chance you did it accidentally. 

 ‘Guess not.’ You murmured. ‘Sorry ‘bout that.’

The icy feeling only grew closer as you took a seat beside him. It was funny, because he thought that if he’d had the chance to reunite with you, that it would have been more emotional than this. Something filled with more feeling and grandeur. Instead, you’d just appeared, and acted as though you’d never been gone in the first place. Obi-Wan preferred it that way. 

‘I’ve missed you.’ He continued to stare blankly ahead. 

When you died, there were a thousand things he’d come up with that he’d wished he’d said. They ranged from comments about the weather to grand declarations of...how much you meant to him. All things he would never dare say to your face, and that’s probably why he came up with them. Because he would never get the chance to say them. And now, here you were, right beside him, and he had a second opportunity to get that closure -- but the words didn’t quite come. They stayed on the tip of his tongue, there, but not quite there. Even if this wasn’t quite the version of you that he imagined himself telling them to, it was still undeniably you. 

‘I should hope so.’ You tried to nudge him with your elbow, but it was just another icy jab. ‘I would say that I missed you too, but I don’t know where I’ve been.’

‘What happened between then and now?’ Obi asked. ‘Between that and this?’

‘Okay, first of all - you can say my death. Coming up with a thousand other words for it won’t undo it.’ You said. ‘And...I don’t know. I just remember blaster fire, then some darkness, and then I was here.’

‘Did it hurt?’

‘Well it didn’t tickle.’ You replied ‘It was quick, if that’s any comfort.’

‘I suppose it is.’ He murmured. 

‘You’re being uncharacteristically quiet.’ You observed. ‘I can go away if you want. I’m not sure how this whole thing works but if you want me to leave, I can go and scare Dex-’

‘- that’s the last thing I want.’ He cut you off. ‘I just..I’ve spent the last few weeks trying not to acknowledge that you’re truly gone and it’s a little hard to do that when you’re quite literally a ghost.’

‘I’m not really gone though, am I?’ You said. ‘I’m still here. Not as I’d like to be, but I’m here.’

‘So as long as you’re around to irritate me and make snide comments, you’re here.’ He smiled. ‘Whether that’s in the flesh or...in the blue.’

‘I’m sorry it happened.’ You gently sighed. ‘Not sorry that I died for the greater good but sorry it was so..sudden.’

‘It’s not your fault.’ He wanted to reach across, to take your hand in his or run it down your arm - but he couldn’t. He couldn’t deal with another rush of cold in place of what used to be warm flesh. ‘It was still undeniably your most half-witted decision to date but you saved a lot of people, so I won’t hold it against you.’

‘Oh, how kind.’ You snorted. ‘I bet you’ve secretly enjoyed the peace and quiet, Kenobi.’

‘I miss it already.’

-- 

Obi-Wan woke up the next morning, still on the balcony. The air was cold -- as evidenced by his violent shivers -- and the sky had changed from navy, to a turquoise-tainted pink. The city below was moderately quiet, signalling that it was still pretty early. The only sounds were coming from traffic in the distance and the occasional whoosh of a passing jet in the sky above. He stayed like that for a moment, azure eyes clouded with some kind of apprehension as he watched the clouds slowly pass, not a care in the world for the fact it was fucking freezing. 

Last night had been real, even if there was no sign of your presence. Actually, that wasn’t quite true -- the robes he’d discarded before your appearance had been thrown over him like a blanket. They did little to protect him from the cold air, but it was a confirmation that you had been there. He wasn’t sure when you’d left - or how - but he was the only one on the balcony. 

There were a lot of questions floating about in his head. Why were you only turning up now after weeks? Why had you materialised by him? Why were you here at all? You were finally free, free to do literally whatever you wanted, and you’d wound up by his side. There were millions and millions of places in the galaxy and somehow, his balcony was the one where you’d wanted to be. 

After showering and shaving, Obi-Wan found himself heading towards the classroom of the best Jedi he knew: Yoda. If anyone was going to know anything about Force ghosts, it was him. He’d have to make sure not to let slip exactly what he was talking about - your relationship with him was far more attached than the code allowed, after all - in a more general sense, he must have had something to offer. It wasn’t the kind of thing they taught in Jedi training. If anything, it was the opposite. The lesson was don’t become attached enough to someone so that they haunt you! - and it was one at which he’d failed quite miserably. 

‘Master Kenobi.’ Yoda sat in the middle of the classroom, meditating. He didn’t have to open his eyes to know who it was. ‘Of assistance, may I be?’

‘Good morning.’ Obi-Wan greeted him with a bow. ‘I have some questions, and I was hoping you might be able to help me.’

‘Do go on. Help, I might be able to.’

‘Right.’ He cleared his throat, awkwardly taking a seat beside him. ‘What do you know about Force ghosts?’

‘Lots. Specific, you must be.’

‘Say you had a dear friend, and they died.’ He began. ‘Then they came back a little while as a Force ghost.’

‘Come back, they don’t.’ Yoda opened one eye, glancing over at him. ‘Never gone, they were. The Force takes time to manifest.’ 

‘So...the ghost version of them is still them?’

‘Very much so.’ He said. ‘Why, there are many reasons. Many Jedi study for a long time to materialise as ghosts after passing.’

‘What if they didn’t?’

‘Then unfinished business, they have.’ He replied. ‘When a Jedi dies, their Force connections do too. If they are left unbroken, exist as a ghost they will.’

Well, that explained it. 

‘Right.’ He murmured. ‘Last question, I promise - how long does that connection usually last?’

‘Months to years, it may be.’ He explained. ‘On their unfinished business, the connection depends.’

‘That makes sense.’ Obi-Wan nodded. ‘Thank you, Master Yoda.’

The little green creature simply nodded in response, turning his attention back to his meditation. He didn’t ask questions -- what was the point? He’d been around hundreds of years, and dealt with hundreds of similar things in that time. Truth be told, he didn’t have all the answers. He was just good at acting like it. 

Obi-Wan pondered on the conversation for the rest of the day. 

 There were a lot of things that could have constituted your unfinished business. The list was endless, especially given how suddenly you’d passed. Nobody knew you better than Obi-Wan, but even he struggled to decipher it. You weren’t the sort of person who would hang around for no good reason. It had to be something important -- something so pressing that you quite literally couldn’t pass away in its entirety without dealing with it. Part of him was worried that he didn’t know at all; you were always sneaking about, always doing something that you shouldn’t have been. That left a long list of possibilities. 

But Yoda had directly mentioned Force connections, right? Maybe he’d meant it in a general way, but Obi would have been a complete dumb-ass to think that the Jedi didn’t know what was going on. If the situation didn’t tell him, his seeming ability to know everything about everyone certainly would have. You were the only person he could have possibly been talking about. 

It was something he knew he had to bring up, and so he made the mental promise to himself. The best time would have been that night, when he saw you again. If he saw you again. He trusted you to return. You knew better now than to disappear forever without saying goodbye. 

And he’d been right. That evening, after he’d exchanged goodbyes with Anakin, Obi-Wan found himself wandering out to the balcony. Sure enough, you were leant against the railings, back turned to him as you peered down at the city below. The air was cold again -- maybe because it was Winter, but also maybe because of you -- and the harsh winds blew back your hair. He wanted to reach out and feel it, to feel you, but he couldn’t. A man whose love language was physical touch was sure to suffer when the person he wanted most was a fucking entity.  

‘You’re late.’ You glanced over your shoulder at him. ‘Don’t your meetings normally end at six?’

‘Anakin wanted to talk about something.’ He replied. ‘So is this your life now? Waiting for me to come home?’

You snorted. ‘Don’t flatter yourself. I’ve been at the diner all day moving stuff around to confuse Dex.’

‘That’s mean.’

‘And what would you do if you were a Force ghost?’

Wait for you. Follow you.

‘Explore.’ He lied, leaning against the balcony beside you. ‘I spoke to Yoda today about...this.’ 

‘Mmm?’ 

‘He said that people who usually come back either purposefully prepared for it when they were still alive.’

‘Or?’

‘How do you know there’s an or?’

‘Because I sometimes struggled to turn on my lightsaber. You think I’m skilled enough to do this shit on purpose, Kenobi?’

‘You’re…’ brilliantly intelligent, easily the smartest person I know, ‘...clever. Don’t put yourself down.’

‘Just cut to the point.’

‘Right.’ Obi-Wan cleared his throat. ‘He said that, or that they had unfinished business. Force connections still strong enough to keep them here.’

‘So, you and me?’

‘What?’

‘Our Force connection.’ You said it as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. ‘You do know what we have one, right?’

‘I...I figured we were always just...close.’ 

‘No, you dipshit.’ You shook your head with a laugh. ‘They can develop between best friends. It’s a little rare, but we’re both so strong with the Force that it just happens naturally.’ 

‘That makes sense.’ he turned to look out at the city. ‘I didn’t really have a best friend before you.’ 

You looked over at him, a smile playing on your lips. ‘Yeah, me neither.’

--

Obi-Wan quickly fell into a routine, post-you. Not post-you completely, because he still saw you every evening, but that had helped push him towards the transition. He adjusted to only seeing you after work - not in the mornings or during the day or every waking second like it used to be. Nothing was how it used to be. Not even close. You were no longer beside him during meets or climbing into bed next to him when you had nightmares. There were no more missions with you or late nights filled with paperwork and laughter. 

That was the problem. 

You were here, but you weren’t really. The ghost he saw every night had your eyes and your laugh and your personality, but it wasn’t really you. Obi-Wan couldn’t touch you; he couldn’t feel you in the same way he used to. It was like having a conversation with a figment of his imagination -- conversations of false hope and plans that would never come to fruition. Because you could banter and you could laugh and you act like things weren’t completely fucking different, but they were. You were a ghost. A ghost of yourself, a ghost of the past, a ghost of what used to be. 

It had helped the pain at first. Eased the dread of knowing that you weren’t ever going to be back, not properly. Obi-Wan had appreciated that. It made grieving a lot easier when you were technically still there to tease and jester him through the process. Knowing that his friendship was the reason you couldn’t fully let go of existing had both made it better and worse. Better, because it meant you cared for him as deeply as he did for you. Worse, because it was so open-ended. At what point would you be satisfied enough to finally let go? Would he get to say goodbye, or would you just be here forever? 

That was the problem, Obi-Wan had come to find. 

He was hopelessly in love with you - though that much was obvious - and he couldn’t deal with only having some of you. He wanted all of you, or he wanted none of you. Only being able to talk to a blue apparition of you just wasn’t enough. It was just a constant reminder that the person he loved most in the universe was gone, and that he’d never fully have you. He was kicking himself for that one. What if he’d said something to you when you were still alive? Declared his love for when he could still physically reach out to you? 

That was the thought plaguing his mind every night. With you beside him, a cold aura radiating towards him as you sat with your legs hugged to your chest. It had been a few weeks since your first appearance, and your nights together ranged from deep conversations to comfortable silence. The latter was always worse, because Obi-Wan constantly found himself teetering on the edge of saying something. It was hard, because despite everything, he found you to be more enchanting and peaceful than ever. More entrancing. 

‘Can I tell you something?’ He asked. 

‘Sure thing.’ You peered over at him. ‘You look worried. Is it serious?’

He paused for a moment. ‘Depends how you take it, I suppose.’

‘Try me.’

‘There are…’ he faltered again. ‘There are some things I regret not telling you when you were still here.’

‘I am here.’ You reminded him. 

‘No, I know that.’ He found himself unable to look at you. ‘I mean when you were here here.’

‘What’s the difference, Obi?’

‘Remember when you used to come to my bedroom at 2AM because you’d had a bad dream?’ He asked. ‘Or when you’d throw yourself into my arms after we’d been separated on long missions?’

‘Yeah.’ 

He absent-mindedly reached a hand out towards you; it went straight through you, a rush of cold shooting down his arm. ‘I can’t do that anymore.’

‘You can still talk to me.’ You urged. ‘You can still be with me-’

‘- not in the way I want.’ Not in the way I need.

‘What do you mean?’ You gently pushed.

‘You don’t need me to explain it.’ He finally looked at you, blue eyes shrouded with an emotion you couldn’t quite decipher. 

‘Obi-Wan, what do you think has been keeping me here?’ You asked. 

You knew. Of course you fucking knew. Try as he might to be mysterious and suave, but you could read him like a book -- and it was a shock to you that he hadn’t seen your feelings either. They were clear as day to both of you, and yet it had been easier to ignore them for the sake of your friendship, and for the sake of the code. You both always figured that you could deal with them at a later date, because that’s when you’d had a later. 

‘Just say it.’ You murmured. ‘Say that you love me too and I’ll go-’

‘- I don’t want you to go.’ He cut you off. ‘Because then you’re gone forever.’

‘And then you can move on.’ You smiled. Neither of you knew that ghosts could cry until now. 

This was the closest he would ever get to having you now. He could have just sucked it up and dealt with it, and kept you by his side in your ominous form - but would that have been fair on you? To keep you around, just because he was so full of regret over things unsaid and so full of fear over grieving? None of this was fair, on him or on you.  

‘I can’t say it.’ Obi-Wan murmured. ‘Not yet.’

‘It’s okay.’ You gave him a watery smile. ‘I know.’

Neither of you said anything else - maybe you didn’t want to, or maybe you were scared to. The fact you’d finally acknowledged the bantha in the room after years, finally admitting that love had been the driving force behind what made your friendship so good, for so long. The irony was that when you’d died, he’d wanted nothing more than for you to come back in some form. Now, he realised that it was holding him back from moving on -- and he couldn’t do that until he’d let you go. But he couldn’t do that either. 

Unbeknownst to Obi-Wan, his words had been a confession. Albeit a thinly veiled one, but a confession nonetheless. It had confirmed to you the only thing you’d wanted to know before you’d passed: that he loved you back. That was all you needed. It was all you’d ever needed. 

Eventually, the Jedi beside you grew sleepy. That’s how it usually went every night -- you’d talk, he’d fall asleep beside you, and you’d cover him with a blanket and slip out to wherever it was that Force ghosts went at night. He never asked, for fear of it ruining the mystery. Obi-Wan knew that he wasn’t the only person you saw, but it was a nice thought, and one he didn’t want to taint. At least you took more mercy on him than you did with Dex, who slowly thought he was going insane at all the random objects suddenly being moved around. 

When you heard him gently snoring, you stood up. Obi-Wan looked peaceful, as though he’d finally gotten something of his chest - even though he hadn’t realised he’d done it. He hadn’t realised that it had been enough.  

You leant down beside him, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. For the first time since you’d appeared, you could finally feel his skin against yours - no cold jolts, no body parts suddenly disappearing through the other. Just your lips against his; warm and...human. 

‘Good night, Obi-Wan.’ You ran a hand through his hair, before standing up and stepping back. ‘I love you. I’ll always love you.’

He felt it. He was asleep, but he felt your lips on his and your hand in his hair, and he’d secretly smiled to himself, not entirely realising what was going on. He’d thought it was a dream, or that he was simply imagining that you could finally touch him as though you were a human, and no longer a cold, blue ghost. 

Because you weren’t. You were no longer a ghost.

Obi-Wan didn’t realise till he rose the next morning, a blanket tossed over him and the feeling of your lips still lingering on his, even hours later. He even dared to smile for a moment, before the knowledge of what he’d done hit him. He’d given you what you wanted - an unintentional confession of love. The thing you needed to finally cut off your Force connection. The only thing still tethering you to this world.

You were gone, but at least he’d finally gotten what he wanted. You. Even if it was only for a few moments.

[pigeonp0st]

Oh you could write one where reader and Supergirl are fighting together against some supervillain and reader gets hurt and almost dies and Kara is freaking out because she can't lose her girlfriend and just... angst (please don't kill reader though, i'm begging you)

Kara Danvers x Reader #5

Words: 1,905

Warnings: Angst, Explosion not described in detail. Just an aftermath.

Notes:

MWHAHAHA! I technically didn’t listen to your plead...so i’m sorry? (Thank you for the request and sorry for all spelling mistakes)

——

They were kids.

You weren’t bulletproof like Kara, definitely not grenade proof, you knew that...but they were kids. Kids clutching onto their mom looking terrified. Terrified that their mom would get hurt, terrified that the three of them were going to die.

You’re terrified too. Lately as your life has gotten better with Kara, beautiful, caring Kara, you’ve been getting more scared everyday, scared that something was going to happen to ruin your happiness.

The fear is almost enough to paralyze you when you see the latest National City supervillain get ready to throw the grenade, but alas...when the man throws the grenade the stupid instinct to protect overtakes you and you jump into the air to catch it like a ball, before it can get to close to the family.

You’re more invincible than them, even if you’re not nearly as invincible as Kara...it’s time to test that theory, you think bitterly.

Turns out—when the grenade goes off and a piercing scream hits the air—you’re not that much more invincible than a regular human.

Kara, you think, tears running down your face, Kara, Kara, Kara. Kara. Everything hurts but all you can think about is Kara and whether or not she’s going to be okay fighting without you. Forever, possibly. Fighting without you forever, and just thinking about your death feels like ice water being poured over you until the cold sinks in and it’s just panic.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

It takes moments before she’s by your side, moments that feel like a lifetime, she was slowed by the kryptonite she was fighting against and wasn’t able to get to you in time when the grenade went off but now she’s here, and she’s sobbing. Sobs that wrack her body, and you’re trying to sit up despite the ringing in your ear.

“Kara!” You yell, eyes wide, and you don’t want to be doing this to her, you want to pretend like you’re okay with this—you want to be strong for her—but you can’t. You can’t, because holy fuck. Fuck. “I can’t feel my legs, Kara. Baby, I can’t feel anything. I can’t...why can’t I move?”

Kara places a hand on your chest, and you can feel that, it hurts, “Alex,” she says into the comms, “it’s Y/N...she’s badly injured. I can’t bring her to the DEO, I can’t fly; the kryptonite is still in the air around us, and I can’t move her away from it either.”

You hear Kara’s panicked voice next to you, and when you focus you hear it in your own comms.

Alex’s voice crackles through immediately, and even she sounds scared, “how bad, Kara?”

“She says she can’t feel her legs, and she...she’s losing a lot of blood. She’s cold, too, and her breathing is labored,” Kara’s practically ranting now, her fingers shaking against your chest. “I’d put pressure on the wound but there’s a lot of blood and I don’t know—”

You turn your face away from Kara when her hand travels to your cheek, and you try to tune her out, because her face...it really says everything about your condition, and you don’t want to hear Kara talk about all of the ways you’re dying.

You catch the last thing Alex says and it fills you with dread that makes your bones feel even heavier, “keep her awake, Kara. There’s no telling if she’ll wake up again if she falls asleep now.”

Kara’s resulting sob rips your heart to shreds.

“I didn’t realize until I met you how much I don’t want to die,” you tell her after a moment filled with her cries. You’ve never felt so scared in your life (besides after Kara’s fight with Reign) “but I really don’t want to, Kara. I really don’t want to.”

“You won’t,” Kara says, trying to give you a reassuring smile, “you won’t because I need you to stay. What am I supposed to do without you?” She tries to laugh afterwards but it’s really just a choked sound, and you can hear the fear in her words.

The iron taste that was on your tongue felt like death, but now as you slowly start to taste it less, and as the smell of gasoline slowly slips away, you wonder if this is really a sign of death. The reapers signature.

“You’ll live.” You say, “you have to. There’s no other choice.” Your voice is filled with too much certainty for a dying woman, “It’ll be fine. You’ll get to eat the last popsicle in the fridge,” a humorless chuckle forces its way out of your throat, “I hid it. It’s under the frozen peas.”

You can tell by the look on Kara’s face what she’s thinking about. A half empty bed when she goes home alone to your shared apartment, your favorite mug sitting on the counter half full of cold coffee, your dishes still in her sink—your sink—your clothes in the washing machine, your…

“I can’t,” Kara whispers, her voice filled with the amount of sorrow only she can manage, “I can’t lose two of my worlds. I’m not strong enough.”

Kara Zor-El not being strong enough. It’s a humorous thought. You know Kara will fight, she’ll fight because it’s all she knows. She’ll find her reason. She won’t give up on the world, even if she gives up on herself for some time. It’s the one thing you need to be sure of right now.

“Yeah you are,” you mumble, trying to lift your shaky hand to cup her cheek. She grabs a hold of your hand and helps you to your destination. You try not to scream curses at the world at the sight of your blood on her pale cheek. “You, Kara Danvers, are an anomaly in the way you never let anything knock you down.”

“This is enough,” Kara promises, and it’s the last promise you’d ever want to hear from her, “you’re enough to ruin me.”

“Kara,” you whisper, hating the world so furiously in that moment for all it wants to take. “That’s the last thing I want to hear...I only ever want to build you up.”

“And you do,” Kara says, “but love really does both, doesn’t it? Sometimes it hurts as much as it heals.”

“That isn’t fair,” you whimper out, and Kara nods against your hand, closing her eyes and trying not to breathe in the smell of your blood.

Moments later Kara opens her eyes in a panic after realizing that you haven’t spoken, only to see you trying to blink your eyes awake. She squeezes your hand repeatedly, trying to get your attention. “Y/N, it’s not time.” She tells you desperately, “it’s not time.”

One of her tears fall against your cheek, causing you to pout. “Stop crying,” you slur, delirious from the blood loss, “I resent it when you cry because of me.”

Kara shakes her head, only crying harder.

You smile up at her sadly, “I'm sorry i’m dying.” And you mean it.

“Stop saying that,” Kara pleads, like it’s breaking her, “stop.”

You wish you could give Kara what she wants but your eyelids are getting heavier and heavier and you don’t think you have much time. “Just tell Alex to name a kid after me, or at least tell her to name a fish after me.”

Kara’s shaking her head and shaking your arm, trying to get you to open your eyes again, “Y/N! Hey! Stop, come on, baby, just open your eyes…”

You try, you really do, you’ve never tried so hard to listen before, and it works for a moment, just for a second you manage to open your eyes, much to Kara’s relief, and that’s when you finally notice a crowd of people and a slumped alien (the man you two were fighting) a little ways behind you and Kara. When did Kara do that to him? When did the people come?

It’s when you see Alex though, rushing out of a black van, that you feel some sort of relief. Alex will protect Kara when you’re gone. You’re sure of it.

—

“Wake up! Wake up,” Kara sobs, “Alex, Alex—please, she’s not—”

—

“She died, Kara, in the van, we managed to bring her back...but things are looking uncertain right now. For now, the best thing you can do is look after yourself”

Kara’s glowing red eyes snap up from the floor towards Alex. Her powers have been going haywire since they arrived at the DEO. “Save her,” Kara pleads, voice hoarse from crying. “Please.”

—

It’s late at night after Kara hears your heart stop (the second time) that she gets placed in kryptonite handcuffs.

Alex doesn’t want to do it but Kara isn’t in control of her powers anymore, and she almost seriously hurt someone. Multiple times.

Kara doesn’t leave your side after they get your heart going again, she can’t hear your heart with the kryptonite on so the only thing she can take comfort in is the beeping of your heart monitor.

—

You wake up two weeks after your accident.

Kara’s asleep next to you when you do.

You’re confused and thirsty so it takes you several long moments for you to remember what happened, and once you do you’re sobbing hard, crying loud enough to startle awake a sleeping Kara.

She freezes when she sees you, you’re curled up in the hospital bed and shaking with your relief and the leftover fear, and she’s watching you like she doesn’t know what to do now that you’re awake.

She’s been praying for this moment, imagining it, waiting for it day after day, minute after minute, second after second, but now that it’s actually happened she’s paralyzed with her overwhelming emotions.

“Y/N?” Kara stutters, eyes filling with her own tears of relief.

You laugh at Kara’s face, loud and completely joyful, and suddenly she’s sobbing too, grinning all the while, because you’re here—finally— you’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna be okay, and you’re laughing, and the world is finally okay again too.

“Damn, weren’t we dramatic?” You smirk, paying no mind to the tears running down your or her face.

Kara laughs, pulling you into a careful hug (she got her handcuffs taken off only a day ago). “I missed you.”

“I missed you, too,” you whisper back, tightening your hold on Kara as much as you can and simply breathing her in. Breathing life in.

“I feel like i’m dreaming,” Kara says after a while, voice trembling. You feel like you're dead...and like you're in heaven. Is this heaven?

“You aren’t,” you reassure Kara anyways.

She nods against your shoulder, shaking even harder than you were. “Are you okay?” You ask worriedly.

“you’re the one who had to go and die two times.”

“Nearly three times,” Alex says from the doorway.

You notice Kara tense and shift in front of you until she realizes it’s just Alex, and you think that’ll probably be something you two will have to talk about, but for now you roll your eyes at Alex and say, much to both Kara’s and her amusement; “the only reason you tried so hard to save me is because you didn’t want to name your kid after me, isn’t it?”

Alex’s shrug and “maybe” gets a glare from Kara and a smirk from you.

[korra-the-red-lion]

Lonely.

I will forever be salty that LoT doesn’t let Sara explore her grief a bit more, it seems. Anyway, enjoy some angst with a happy ending!

---

Sara put down the make-up brush and stared at herself in the mirror. It wasn’t a lot, but she felt confident in what she did for herself. Lightly, she put on the finishes touches to her lips and was ready for the big event.

In just a few short hours she’d be marrying the love of her life.

But why did her heart feel so heavy? Shouldn’t she be overjoyed that she was marrying Ava? But it only took one quick glance to the photo sitting her in locket to remind her why she felt this way. Laurel and Oliver smiled up at her, their faces alive and happy. Sara picked up the locket, holding it gently in her hand. At least Oliver got to marry the life of his life, Laurel never even got that chance. Both men she loved were tragically ripped away from her, before her own life was as well.

Although Laurel told her it was the right decision, Sara couldn’t help but still feel guilty that she didn’t use the Loom of Fate to bring her back. Why did someone like her get so many chances at life yet her sister didn’t? It was a cruel thing, fate was. Sara would have gladly given one of her several returns to life in exchange for Laurel to be here on her wedding day.

And Oliver too, who would never see his daughter grow old. How was it fair that someone who gave so much and rarely asked for anything in return was not allowed this once in a lifetime opportunity. At least Mia had Felicity, who was one tough cookie. It just felt like some cosmic joke to her. Oliver wasn’t perfect, but he deserved to grow old with his wife and children.

Sara blew a frustrated breath through pursed lips. She needed to stop thinking about this. About them. Today was supposed to be about her happiness, her love. About her and Ava finally retiring from saving the universe and enjoying life. It wasn’t an easy decision for them to make, especially for her. Sara had been fighting since she was teenager. What would the domestic life feel like? Going for walks with having to watch your back? Talking about that silly thing the neighbours did with Ava? Sara honestly couldn’t even picture it in her mind.

There was a knock at her door, startling from her thoughts. Sara put on a brave face and called out, “Come in!”

Nyssa walked into the room with a smile adorning her face. Sara smiled back, but Nyssa was not fooled. She had known Sara for a very long time and knew when she was hiding her feelings. Nyssa closed the door softly before turning to face her former love.

“What is wrong, Beloved?”

Sara smiled softly at the familiar expression. “It’s nothing, really. Just got thinking.”

“Thinking about what?”

“How much I miss them,” she said, looking down at the locket again.

Nyssa nodded in understanding as she came to sit next to Sara. “I miss them as well. I cannot imagine how difficult this must be for you.”

Sara clutched the locket, holding it to her heart. “I wish they could be here to see this. I want to let them know that I only got this far because of their support. Especially Laurel’s…” the tears welled up in her eyes, but she refused to let them fall.

“Sara…” Nyssa reached for her hand, squeezing it in comfort. “They may not be here physically, but I know Oliver and your sister. They’re watching from wherever they are currently. They would be so happy for you, so happy that you found the love they wished for you. Do you understand that?”

“I do,” said Sara with a small voice, “but that doesn’t make me miss them any less.”

Nyssa hugged Sara tightly. All she could hope was that Sara could feel her emotions through the hug. That it was okay to grief those you’ve lost, you just cannot let it consume you. Sara hugged back just as tightly, wondering when the emptiness in her heart would finally feel a little more whole.

Another knock at the door broke the pair apart. Ray stuck his head into the room, his smile instantly dropping when he saw Sara. He wasted no time in walking across the floor and scooping the tiny assassin into a bear hug.

“I have no idea what’s upsetting you, Sara, but I’m not going to let it ruin your wedding day,” he said firmly.

“Ray…”

Ray put Sara onto the floor before getting to work straightening out her wedding dress. “Sara, I’ve known you for a very long time. Heck, I think you’re my oldest friend at this point. You were there for me when Nora and I tied the knot. We were there for each other through all the hardships that we’ve face. I would never let you do this alone.” Ray stepped back to make sure there wasn’t a single wrinkle left. With a satisfied nod, Ray placed a gentle hand on Sara’s shoulder.

“You deserve happiness and peace, Sara Lance,” said Ray with watery eyes. “I believe that more than anything else in the world.”

Sara swallowed thickly while blinking out tears. “Thank you…” She fanned at her laugh with a wet laugh. “Oh God, my make-up. Ava is going to freak out if I don’t get a move on things.”

“I believe I can help with that,” said Nyssa with a smirk. She held up the eye make-up with a fire in her eyes. “I am quite good with my hands, after all.”

Sara burst out into laughter while Ray looked pleasantly confused. Together, Ray and Nyssa got Sara ready to walk down the aisle.

XXX

Quentin looked like he was trying his hardest not to cry as he walked his daughter down the aisle. Sara squeezed his arm tightly as they did, trying to keep her raging emotions in check.

“I’m so happy for you, baby,” he said in a choked whisper.

“Thanks, dad.” Sara sniffled slightly. “I’m really happy too.”

He gave her a kiss on the cheek as he left her at the alter. He joined his wife in the front row. Sara took in the crowd. Jax and his wife were here with their kids. Thea and Roy were in the crowd chatting quietly to Dinah. Sara couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow when she noticed that Dinah had her pinkie finger linked with Laurel 2.0. That was unexpected. Barry and Iris were sitting next to Kara, Alex, Lena, and Kelly. Ray waved to her, his arm linked with a very happy looking Nora, who was also waving. Mona was seated next to Gary, who was already ugly crying. Nate was on Ray’s right side, and he was beaming up at Sara, Zari holding his free hand. Charlie was with her band, providing the music for the wedding. Amaya came from the past to also watch her former captain and friend tie the knot. She was seated next to the Hawks, which they had been hard to track down, but Kendra had been Sara’s first friend aboard the Waverider, and there was no way she was going to miss this for the world. Nyssa sat with Sin, who was looking so much older than Sara last remembered.

All her friends and family were here, and it was a wonderful sight to see.

Charlie looked up towards the doorway and motioned to her band to start playing the music. Sara’s heart was beating like crazy with anticipation as the doors swung open.

Ava walked out from behind the curtains. Her smile was wide and there were already tears in her eyes as she walked towards Sara. Her dress was nothing fancy, but that’s exactly what suited her best. Mick was walking her down the aisle. They had an unlikely friendship, but Ava had helped Mick with so many things in his life, he felt it only fair to return a favour. There were tears in his eyes as he helped her up the steps. He gave Sara a quick nod before clomping back down to take his seat next to Spooner, who was sitting with Astra and Behrad.

“Alright,” said Diggle with a clearing of his throat. “Sara and Ava both asked that this not be fancy. Sara said to me, ‘I already have enough drama in my life, I don’t need it at my wedding too,’ and I couldn’t agree more.”

This drew laughs from the crowd.

“So, Sara, do you have anything you want to say to Ava?” asked Diggle.

Sara nodded quickly. “Ava, I just want to say that you’ve made me the happiest girl in the world. You just get me, and that is so important. We’ve had our rough patches, but we always got through them together. You’ve been with me through thick and thin. I love you so much that it makes me lie awake at night thinking about it. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.” She smiled brightly, ignoring the tears that flowed freely down her face now.

“Ava, do you have anything you want to say to Sara?”

“Yes.” Ava took a deep shaky breath. Sara could feel the tremors in her hands as she spoke. “I hated you the first time I saw you.” Everyone laughed at that, including Sara and Ava. “But you slowly broke down my walls and taught me how to really live. If it wasn’t for you, I probably would still be working for Rip, without ever realizing the person I could have been. You helped me because the best version of me, because that’s what’s being a person is all about. Helping each other grow. I hope that we can continue to do just that, because you’ll be spending every moment with me, and I can’t wait.”

Diggle smiled at the two of them before saying. “Okay, well, go ahead then!”

Sara dipped Ava and gave her the most passionate kiss she could muster. It would take some time, but she was hopeful that Ava would help her fill the hole in her heart. She already had, in some way. Because Sara knew that this right here meant that she was no longer lonely. She would always grieve the death of her Laurel, her wonderful and beautiful sister, and her best friend in Oliver. But she also knew that Ava would always be there for her, every step of the way.

And she was ready to see where that path led.

[searidings]

i have thoughts on the wonderful “i can’t hold enough of you in my hands” and have decided to make it ur problem :)! (it was truly lovely btw)

“Lena.” A third time. An invocation, maybe. A prayer.”

reminded me of that text post that said kara means beloved (or something along those lines) in Gaelic so every time lena said her name, her heart would say beloved 🥲

“That’s how she’d come to pull just the right combination of discreet strings at Catco that had allowed her to investigate Kara’s desk and work computer after hours, checking for the recordings.” imaging for my own benefit that theres a photo of supercorp in one of the drawers, if not, a group pictured displayed with lena in it

“Lena doesn’t even realise she’s crying until the worn grey Henley she’s clutching fiercely between her fingers is spotted dark with tears, stained more black than anything” theres been a flood in the uhaul unit lena stores her emotional shit in cause bOxeS are LEAkINg

“There are tapes upon tapes upon tapes. Lena watches the immortalised image of Kara reveal her identity over and over and over again. Watches the onscreen version of herself take it badly each and every time.” kara, i would do anything for you, danvers vs. lena, i want you to love me like i love you, kiernan luthor

“To say, here I am. Love me anyway. Because of, rather than despite.” thanks for this bestie! going to see my therapist early this week! (sn: definitely going into my quote book, this is achingly beautiful)

“She sees, quite simply, that they cannot live without one another. And such a realisation, the bare-faced reality that their symbiosis is now so complete that separation has become synonymous with destruction” saw this and thought of, ”We make each other alive, does it matter if it hurts?” (Ingmar Bergman) just gonna yearn in tears

“On the fourth watch-through, Lena sees the tapes for exactly what they are. A declaration of love.” this gave me so much hope faye, and then i saw how much left i had to read and like lena ive had “emotion wrung mercilessly from her (my) body”

“If she ever gets Kara back, Lena will show her how much she’s learned.” hc that after kara brings her back, and they process in healthy ways, they just start conversing in kryptonian when its just the two of them. lena fumbles some of the pronunciation and kara always gets a small smile on her face before wrapping lena in her arms from behind, and whispering the correct way to say it in her ear. lena fumbles on purpose sometimes

“They’re too good, she knows now. Too noble. Too prepared to put the collective good above the individual. Lena has no such qualms. Not when it comes to Kara.” What am I Catholic? text post vibes. also violence is the question and the answer is yeS

“Lena can only imagine that Alex and J’onn would be vehemently opposed to involving the imp at all and so, she tells no one of her plan.” lena saving the day for the 16478th time, also im just imaging the superfriends all dejected in the tower and then kara ApPeArs and theyre like ????? and she realizes lenas not there but mxy iS and by the confused looks on space dad and alexs faces, they have no iDea what’s happening and she holds mxy against the wall by the throat (please release the written footage of kara threatening mxy please 🙇, would love to see kara crossing some lines)

“The imp has appeared in Rio de Janeiro, of all places.” this just made me smile cause i thought of rio the movie :)

“pulling out her phone to call upon the seemingly boundless resources the Luthor name still affords her.” sugar mommy lena would never leave herself without assets to spoil her baby 💅

“The imp mutters something that sounds suspiciously like oh Christ, and Lena swallows hard” i just KNow if theres nothing on his inter dimensional imp television, he checks in on karas life to see if obliviouscorp has gotten together yet

“One lifetime banishment for another.” totally thought she was gonna trick mxy into taking lex but the angst of her going was delicious

“Kara’s voice is so sweet, Lena muses. The sweetest sound she’d ever had the privilege of hearing. She should have appreciated it more while she could. At least she can hear it again now, though it’s a barbed facsimile at best. At least she can take comfort in this one small remnant of home before she’s inevitably forced to watch Kara die all over again.” just imaging lena with the cloudy eyes and a blissed out smile at karas voice and kara just getting increasingly more worried trying to get her to focus and shes like 💡 “ABS”

“Her milky eyes widen. Beneath the press of her palms is material, sleek and smooth, and beneath that there is warmth and a firm softness and the pounding thud of a heartbeat.” THE ABS HAVE REJUVENATING LUTHOR POWERS

“Now that she can feel Kara again, she cannot feel enough. Cannot get close enough, cannot hold her near enough, no matter how hard she tries.” they are attached now, after medical checkups no one is going see or hear from them for aT leasT a week, theyre too busy snuggling and possibly the deed

“ He didn’t dare refuse me,” Kara mutters, suddenly harsh against Lena’s ear. Her voice is dark and low, full of the wrath of an avenging god.” FUCK HIM UP BABY

“You know what I did. You have to know that I’d choose you, Lena. Every time. Over anything.” its summer, my eyes are sweating

this was so beautiful faye i- u are a *kith* GOD TIER WRITER and i hope YOU are having a wonderful day

broski when i tell you on all levels including physical this is me rn

[captain-josslett]

Broken Melody - Part Twenty Two

Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six, Part Seven, Part Eight, Part Nine, Part Ten, Part Eleven, Part Twelve, Part Thirteen, Part Fourteen, Part Fifteen, Part Sixteen, Part Seventeen, Part Eighteen, Part Nineteen, Part Twenty, Part Twenty One...

Summary: Grammy Award winning Emma Danvers is the first to say she has a pretty good life. But what happens when it implodes around her and it looks like things will never be the same again?

Words: 3.1k+

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, stuff... I’m so tried my brain can’t function.

Pairings: Emma Danvers x Lena Luthor

This Part: Lena and Emma share their news with Eliza and the sisters discuss if they are really ready to see their baby sister.

So sorry for the delay. A lot of stuff has been happening over the past few weeks and my heart is just really heavy at the moment. But keep calm, carry on and enjoy the ride... Right? Hoping the next part will be soon as I’m actually looking forward to it. The long wait is almost over. Almost. Maybe... Let’s see what tomorrow brings... If my brain functions...

Thank you for reading and let me know if you wanna be tagged or any general feedback will be greatly appreciated. Please! I like knowing your thoughts.

Taglist: @finleyfray, @life-is-hella-unfair, @natasha-danvers, @supergirl-writingz, @camslightstories, @thinking1bee, @aznblossom,

Gif by the awesome @missmaclay​

​

Emma is wrapped up in Lena’s arms as they watch a Friends episode. Well, they were trying to watch it but Emma keeps turning her head to gaze lovingly up at her girlfriend. Smiling and enjoying the feelings of happiness within her before focusing back on the tv.

The girlfriends had made out for some time after Lena asked Emma to move in with her. Until the pair were broken up by Lena’s phone ringing out, causing the raven haired beauty to groan deeply and rest her head on Emma’s shoulder. Her groan increased in volume when Emma moved off of her lap to allow Lena to get to the phone in her bag.

Emma had watched Lena pace back and forth while discussing the headache of an issue that has risen from the negotiations with Japan. Instinctively Lena wanted to rush back to L-Corp to sort out the problem immediately. But when the raven haired turned around to pace to the other side of the room her eyes met her girlfriend’s and Emma gave her a reassuring smile, indicating it was okay if she left. However Lena made the choice to stay and ended the call soon after. Stating she would deal with it first thing in the morning.

Finally getting back onto the bed and pulling Emma into her arms while voice commanding the tv to resume their favorite show.

Once settled, Emma snuggles her head further into Lena’s arm, placing a gentle kiss on the skin there. Warmth fills the CEO as she glances down and returns the kiss by placing one on the blonde’s head. Emma lets out a puff of air, like a sigh of content, and smiles into her girlfriend’s arm.

They watch a few more episodes before Lena lets out a big yawn that makes her body tense and shake.

Emma twists her head to watch her girlfriend and suddenly her mouth opens wide too with a yawn. Afterwards she sits up and studies the tired raven haired beauty.

“Aw someone is sleepy.” Emma signs and smirks when Lena blinks and shakes her head. “Love I can see how exhausted you are.”

“I’m okay.” Lena says but immediately yawns, causing Emma to yawn again too. She lightly pushes Lena’s shoulder and the pair laugh, Emma’s letting out spurts of heavy breaths of air as her diaphragm moves sharply.

The blonde then lifts an eyebrow up at her girlfriend. “As much as I love you being here, don’t you need to go home and sleep? Especially with the day you are going to have tomorrow?” Emma tilts her head to the side and gives Lena a questioning look.

“Are you sure love?” Lena asks as she intwines their fingers. The blonde nods, leaning in to kiss Lena’s lips softly.

“Keep doing that and I won’t want to leave.” Lena says with a deep moan, pressing their foreheads together.

A knock on the door pulls them apart and Eliza walks in.

“Oh sorry! I didn’t mean to interrupt.” Eliza keeps her hand on the door handle and looks ready to quickly back away.

Lena smiles and pauses the show. “It’s okay.” She says to the older blonde and feels Emma squeeze her hand to get her attention. Lena focuses back on Emma and watches her sign.

“Can you tell Mom our news?” Emma grins happily, bouncing on the bed excitedly and repeatedly glances at both her Mom and girlfriend. Causing her Mom to arch an eyebrow at her daughter.

“Eliza, please come in, we have something to share with you.” Lena says a bit hesitant. Realising she hadn’t asked Emma’s Moms opinion, which Lena greatly values.

“Alright.” Eliza gently closes the door behind her and makes her way over to the bed, sitting on the edge and waits expectantly.

“I-er-well-” Lena mentally slaps herself, fear of Eliza’s disapproval starts overwhelming her. Until Emma reaches out and holds her hand. Grounding the raven haired beauty. Lena swallows and clears her throat. “As Lucy may have told you Emma will be discharged soon and I-” Lena trails off for a moment. “I asked Emma to move in with me.”

Lena can’t help but whisper the last bit. Internally eye rolling at herself. ‘A Luthor must never show their fear, or any emotion that gives them away.’ Lillian’s voice echoes coldly in her ears.

That’s until Eliza’s face lights up with a beaming smile. “That’s wonderful news!” The older blonde claps and reaches out, engulfing the two women in a group hug. The Danvers matriarch pulls back, grasping both Emma and Lena’s hands before focusing on her daughter. “I’m guessing you said yes?”

Emma nods quickly and matches her Mom’s smile.

“That’s wonderful sweetheart. I was thinking what would happen when you’d leave here but I needn’t have worried.”

Relief fills Lena, until she quickly lifts a hand to her mouth and yawns. Emma turns her head to hide her yawning as well. No matter who yawns Emma can’t help but yawn as well. “Sorry.” Lena sincerely apologises.

“It’s okay sweetheart.” Eliza searches Lena’s fatigued eyes. “Looks like you need to head to bed.”

The CEO nods and squeezes Eliza’s hand before cupping Emma’s face and kissing her goodnight. “See you tomorrow love. Sleep well.”

Lena gracefully slides off the bed, slipping her feet into her heels. Almost moaning out in pain as her feet loudly protest.

“Goodnight sweetheart.” Eliza kisses Emma’s forehead and hugs her daughter close. She watches as Lena quietly slips out of the room and Eliza quickly gets up to follow. She gently closes the door behind her, watching Emma briefly through the glass as she immediately grabs her notebook, flicking through the pages and starts writing. Eliza recognises Emma’s expression and knew her daughter was writing something for a song.

Taking her eyes off her daughter Eliza turns to locate Lena down the corridor and spots her quickly heading towards the elevator. “Lena.” she calls and hastily goes after her daughter’s girlfriend.

Lena screeches to a halt. ‘Oh no, she disapproves.’ Lena thinks and feels her hands starting to get clammy. Slowly she turns to Eliza who chuckles at her expression.

“Don’t look so worried.” The older blonde tries to reassure the other woman. “I just wanted to see how you are after our last conversation.” Lena feels herself relax slightly at Eliza’s words, but her tension is still present, not allowing herself to fully let down her guard. “So, what I want to ask is, how are you?” Eliza kindly asks.

“I’m fine.” Lena answers automatically but Eliza gives her a knowing look.

“Really?” The older blonde states before taking a deep breath. “Look Lena, I know you struggle opening up to people. It’s not hard to imagine what life was like for you growing up in the Luthor household. But you don’t have to hide how you’re feeling. Really, truly feeling.”

Lena’s eyes widen slightly as she feels the tears build and her throat getting tight with emotion. She quickly lowers her eyes to hide it. Until Eliza places a hand gently on her shoulder.

“Lena, look at me.”

Glistening green eyes slowly lift back up.

“As I have said before, you are practically family and whenever you need me, whatever time it is, call me.” Eliza tenderly wipes a tear from the raven haired woman’s face.

Lean swallows to try and relieve the tightness in her throat. “I will.” Her phone buzzes in her bag and she quickly pulls it out. “My driver is here, do you need a lift to where you are staying?”

“No thank you, I’m going to work a little bit longer on the samples.” Eliza answers and they walk to the elevator. Eliza hopes her daughter’s girlfriend has heard what she said and taken it on board.

-- -- --

Alex breathes out quickly as she extends her arms, pushing herself up from the ground before slowly lowering herself back down again.

Kara lowers her book and stares at her redheaded sister from the bed. “Alex?” The blonde asks with concern, causing Alex to pause and lift her head up at her. “You’ve been working out for hours.”

“And?” Alex huffs out as she continues her push ups.

“And you should be winding down for bed.” Kara crosses her arms at her sister’s attitude.

“Can’t.” The redhead grits out. Her arms and shoulders are screaming from the strain. But she stubbornly pushes through.

“Why?”

Alex pauses slightly before continuing her push ups. “When I stop- doing something- my thoughts just get-” Her voice dwindles. Not wanting to say it out loud.

“They get really loud.” Kara finishes for her and Alex nods, jutting her jaw out. “Then, maybe you need to speak them out. To stop them overwhelming you.” The blonde repeats what Doctor Jackson had told her the other day in their therapy session when Kara had been tight lipped about how she was feeling.

“Yes Doctor Danvers.” Alex quips back, standing and grabbing a bottle of water from the table. Her eyes find the painting Emma had done earlier of Kara and Alex. Sam had placed it into the container and Kara eagly took it out to study it.

Alex eyebrows knit together as she looks down at herself. Knowing it had unsettled her seeing how Emma had captured both the carefree laughter but also the tears from her earlier confession about her impending break up with Kelly.

More than anything Alex wants to jump into the painting and get back to that moment. To stop Kara and herself going into the trap later that day that ruined everything.

Alex leans heavily against the table, her shoulders slumping forward. She is desperate to see Emma. To hold her and apologise over and over for the words she said. For hurting her mentally and physically. But her fear was holding her back.

“I’m scared too.” Kara’s voice whispers softly next to her. Sensing Alex’s distress and taking in her defeated posture.

“Are we strong enough?” Alex murmurs so quietly only Kara could have heard her.

“I don’t know.” Kara wraps her arms around her sister. “But I know we have to try. For Emma.”

Alex nods, her face distorts and the tears she had been trying to hold back start breaking free.

“Let it out. Emma once told me that you get sick if you hold it all in.”

Alex lets out a wet laugh. “Yea I remember. Wasn’t she ten?”

“A very wise ten year old.” Kara agrees, leading Alex over to their joined beds and sitting down. “But you are deflecting.” She gently strokes Alex’s cheek.

“I should have protected her.” A vein pulses in Alex’s forehead as she tries to hold back her building sobs. Her eyes squint and her face distorts.  “She’s a part of my heart. You both are. And I should- I should have protected her.”

“Me too. But it was out of our control.” Kara gulps out as her eyes well up with tears.

Alex rocks as the building pain inside her starts becoming overwhelming. The redhead lifts her fingers and pinches the bridge of her nose, signaling her distress.

Kara gently reaches out and takes her sister’s hand. “Let it go Alex.” Kara whispers softly, carefully squeezing the redhead’s hand.

Finally Alex lets out an anguished cry, her heart clenching in pain and Kara pulls her into a hug. Letting her own tears fall and their sobs echo around the cell.

-- -- --

Time stands still Beauty in all she is I will be brave I will not let anything take away What’s standing in front of me Every breath Every hour has come to this

One step clos-

Emma pauses her writing. She frowns at why she suddenly feels anxious. It’s been happening on and off since she woke up. Random moments where her heart would clench and she just wants to sob. The blonde stares at the love song she had been writing.

A Thousand Years

Was neatly written on the top of the page. But Emma quickly places the pen on the page and puts it down beside her. She jumps off the bed and starts pacing her room. Her frown deepens as she tries to figure out why she suddenly feels so restless.

Grabbing her new phone Emma opens her messages to her girlfriend.

Emma: Hi love, just checking you got home okay?

She sighs in relief when the three dots appear.

Lena: Yes I just got in.

Emma: Awesome, I hope tomorrow goes well. Sleep well!

Lena: You too. I love you ❤️

Emma: Love you too 😘

Emma throws her phone onto the bed and continues pacing. Placing her hands on her hips and lowering her head as she tries to identify the source of her sudden anxiety.

A loud, frantic knock halts her movements and she quickly turns to the door.

“Em? What’s wrong?” Lucy enters with a frown, having seen the agitated Emma through the glass in the door.

Emma runs a hand through her hair before shrugging.

“You don’t know?” Lucy tries to guess from Emma’s body movements.

Emma shakes her head in confirmation.

“Well, do you wanna write about it? Maybe we can figure it out?”

Emma grabs her notebook and makes her way over to the sofa, crossing her legs and leaning against the arm. Lucy follows her and copies her friend.

‘Lena asked me to move in, but I don’t think it’s that.’ Emma holds up the pad and Lucy smiles that Lena found the courage to ask Emma.

“What was your answer?”

Emma does a small smile and nods.

Lucy does a little squeal and claps happily, causing Emma’s smile to widen. “Are you worried about it?” Lucy tilts her head as she asks and Emma shakes her head. “Okay, keep writing.”

‘Are Alex and Kara okay?’

“Yea they seemed to be when I left them earlier. Said they were gonna think about seeing you soon and that they love you too.”

Emma's eyes light up at the news. She had heard it from Lena but having Lucy tell her as well gives her more hope.

But her smile fades and she looks down to write her next question. ‘Any news from Doctor Sloan?’

Lucy takes in a deep breath and Emma watches her carefully. “Yes there is actually.”

Emma fidgets slightly. Crossing her fingers under her notepad.

“He’s been researching and looking over the pictures he took. He would like Doctor Hamilton to take some more photos in a few weeks and would then consider operating after that from a few weeks to a month.”

Emma’s eyebrows shoot up into her hairline and hurriedly writes.

‘That’s quick.’

“Well, this hasn’t really been natural has it?”

‘Guess not.’

Emma leans back into the corner of the sofa as she ponders what Lucy has told her.

“Emma?” The brunette watches her friend’s face. The contemplation etched there. “Emma?” Lucy tries again and barely bloodshot eyes connect with her.

Emma doesn’t move for a moment. Her heart beats anxiously inside her. Slowly she lifts her pen and writes. ‘Do you think it will work?’

“Honestly, I don’t know.” Lucy swallows and keeps her eye contact with her friend. “I wish I could say, one hundred percent, that it would work. But with anything like this, there are always risks involved.”

Emma nods sadly, placing her elbow on the top of the sofa and resting her head in her hand. She picks up the pen with her left hand and starts writing.

“You're ambidextrous?” Lucy asks in fascination and Emma shakes her head, writing her answer after her question. Drawing an arrow to signal to Lucy to read her response first.

She holds up the pad with her left hand. Keeping her head rested in her right. Lucy blinks at the difference in handwriting. Still very neat but not as curvy.

‘I broke my right arm when I was a teen. This was before laptops became a regular thing, so I taught myself how to write left handed.’

“Make sense.” Lucy mutters before her eyes lift to Emma’s earlier question.

‘What would you do?’

“I can’t pretend to know what you are going through.” Lucy plays with her fingers. She had tried to imagine how she would feel if her sister Lois had attacked her and took something precious from her. However, it was impossible. “If it was me? I’d go for it.”

Emma clicks the pen a few times and twirls it between her fingers as she ponders Lucy’s words.

‘Everything has a risk.’ Emma thinks as she reflects her friend’s words back.

“What is your gut saying?” Lucy interrupts Emma’s thoughts.

The blonde bites her lip and she takes a deep breath. She clicks the pen and starts writing.

‘Mainly to go for it but part of me is hesitant. Like what if it doesn’t work? Would it damage everything further?’

“That’s something you would need to ask Doctor Sloan.” Lucy answers while she fiddles with a loose thread on the sofa cushion. “But whatever you decide I will be with you all the way.”

Emma lifts the corner of her mouth and reaches out to take Lucy’s hand.

“Has that helped?”

It had a little bit but Emma knew it wasn’t the issue she was trying to deal with. But Emma nods anyway after realising how late it was getting and not wanting to take up anymore of Lucy’s time.

“Great! Shall I send Doctor Sloan an email and we can get the ball rolling?”

Emma swallows and feels her heart start to pound. Suddenly the room flickers and the blonde blinks to clear her vision.

“Em?” Lucy notices how anxious her friend has become again. The grip around her hand tightens and Lucy squeezes back before Emma lets go and rubs her eyes. “Tired?”

Emma nods before writing. ‘Yes to emailing Doctor Sloan. Can you give him my email?’

“Er… I may have to give you a new email to correspond with him. We got alerts that someone tried to hack into your accounts.”

Emma suddenly straightens up, her eyes flashing with anger. Immediately feeling violated at the attempt.

“Don’t worry, Brainy and Winn have placed the maximum security around them.” Lucy tries to reassure the blonde, who takes a deep intake of breath and lets it out slowly. “Is there anything else?” Lucy searches Emma’s eyes.

Emma shakes her head.

“Alright. I’ll leave you to rest.” Lucy opens her arms and Emma shuffles forward to hug her. Emma rests her head on her friend’s shoulder and imagines Alex or Kara hugging her. But it isn’t the same. They pull apart and Emma watches the brunette leave. 

Slowly Emma stands and heads towards the window. The blonde crosses her arms and takes a few deep breaths. Trying to search for the answer of an unknown question. Her mind goes back to her sisters. Emma looks up at the barely there stars due to the light pollution. She focuses on the brightest and hopes more than anything that Alex and Kara are okay and prays she will get to see them soon.

(Part Twenty Three)

[imagine-lcorp]

My Love, Don’t Stop Burning (One Shot)

Request

can I get uuuuuhhhh...Lena and Reader having been pining for each other for ages, and finally acting on their feelings, but Reader is a secret superhero and has to respond to a threat to National City in the early hours of the morning, leaving Lena to wake up alone thinking Reader regrets what happened or sees it as a one night stand? Angst with a happy ending pls?

A/N: Hi once again my little beans, hope you enjoyed the holidays and everything is well. Now I hope we can get again on a regular schedule of me posting your request but that’s just me hoping, also lol this request did sound like a fast food order, but here you have it :) Kudos to the dear anon that sent this one and I hope you like this!!! Love u!!!

Lena Luthor x Superhero/Metahuman!R // Word Count: 2,511

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It was late in the morning when Lena finally opened her eyes to the light coming from her bedroom window. She felt warm and relaxed, even happy for what felt like the first time in such a long time. She smiled and turned to see the cause and reason for such a miracle only to find empty space beside her. The side of her bed where you had laid to sleep the night before was now cold with rests of your scent lingering between the wrinkles of her sheets.

She sat upright, pulling them to cover her naked body, and looked around in confusion. There was no sign of you around the room. For a moment she had worried something had happened to you while she slept, because after all that was said and done the night before she couldn't find a reason why you wouldn't be there.

It had been the last game night of the year, and the superfriends had convinced Lena to host it. You had spent quite a few hours playing and drinking and dancing and laughing between turns, and Lena had left herself enjoy every single moment of your company as it was almost rare of you to be around big crowds. She had noticed that from the first time she ever met you.

When you finally starter to really meet each other, Lena realized there was so much she didn't know about you. Your life seemed like a mystery, full of blank spaces she tried to fill with whatever little clues she could gather about you. She knew there had been an accident when you were younger, one that had took most of the things you loved and left you instead marked by tragedy. Which explained most of your personality and your mannerisms. For most people, at first sight, you were a cold person. You remained calm and collected, always in control of your own emotions, as if you didn't want to be bothered by the rest of the world, and you didn't speak that much unless it was required.But Lena knew what it was to go through tragedy too and she could see it was only a facade to what laid beneath the surface.

You had in fact one of the gentlest personalities she had ever encountered and she had been, inevitably, drawn to you. It was your shy and little smiles and sneaky jokes only the closest people got to see, the few but always true words that came from you when someone needed them, and your soothing presence that always brought a sense of ease to her, like the flame of a bonfire illuminating and warming up the night. She wondered how it was when you truly opened up.

"(Y/N), I'm serious. I can clean this in the morning." Lena had told you, picking up plates and glasses after everyone else was gone.

"It's alright. Besides I'm partially responsible for this mess as I'm the one that suggested we played this." You said picking up loose pieces of monopoly someone had tossed in a tantrum.

"Well, now I know why this game was banned in the Danvers family. I just never imagined Alex was this competitive." Lena walked to the kitchen counter, leaving the plates for later but discovering a little silver car in a plate. She picked it and walked back towards you to return it. "Here."

You looked up from the floor from where you had been searching for any other missing pieces to find the little car in her hand. You pushed yourself up and took it, brushing your fingers against Lena's palm as careful as it was possible for you. Lena noticed it enough for her heart to skip a beat.

"You don't want to see her when she really loses it." She saw you smile fondly. "She can be scary."

"I can imagine, but I do wonder if you ever get like that." She smirked. "I actually think I have never seen you other than really ...zen."

"That's by design." She saw your expression briefly change to a small frown and then look at the car in your hand.

"What do you mean?" She couldn't help but wonder if she had inadvertently changed the course of the conversation as she felt this wasn't just about board games anymore.

"If I get like that people can get hurt and I don't want to hurt anyone." She watched as you looked back at her with an expression that told her you had said more than intended.

Lena figured that was maybe the closest she would get to an opportunity to see you finally open up. She wanted to know you and decided to take the chance.

"How could you hurt anyone?" She asked stepping closer to you. You fidgeted with the little car, the proximity of your bodies making you nervous for a moment.

You could also sense what was happening at that moment. Without meaning to, you had opened a little breach on the delicate crafted mystery you had surrounded yourself with and it wasn't that you didn't want to tell Lena all about you, that had been the first thing you may have ever wanted to do when you met her, but it was complicated. Because you weren't ready to bring back the memories, because you were afraid she would be scared, because you knew Lena didn't get along well with secrets.

"I wish I could tell." You breathed in, trying to calm yourself but knowing if she asked you couldn't deny her anything.

"So you never lose control, (Y/N)?" She asked searching again for your eyes.

"You don't want me to, Lena." You said looking back.

"What if I want exactly that?"

The little silver car found itself a new place on the floor after you felt Lena's lips move over yours. Your hands couldn't keep holding it as they wrapped around Lena's body. She could feel your initial hesitation. The way your hands moved with just and enough pressure that she was sure you were holding back but were unable to stop yourself.

Lena had wanted to ask much more about you that she didn't think even for a second to stop what happened next. She had wanted to unravel the truths you held under yourself but she hadn't imagined the desire to unravel just you was going to be stronger.

Now, as she felt the morning getting colder, she imagined she had crossed a line you hadn't been ready to and cursed before getting up. She tried to call you but after the second unanswered call she gave up. It was clear for her what had happened. So she decided to go on with her day. She had a busy schedule, enough to keep her thoughts away from you. She could deal with her messy feelings later.

"I never thought I would say this but, Hellfire, uh, hold your fire." You heard Supergirl call from above you after you swept a line of fire to keep the aliens at bay. "We don't want to make them kebabs."

"Maybe we should." You replied with a hint of a grunt. "We could end this faster."

Kara could hear the annoyance in your voice. "That would be a bad example."

"Well, I'm sorry, but I'm trying to hurry up!" You said launching a small fireball to an alien that was coming directly for you.

Almost an hour had passed already and you weren't done fighting. It didn't help that Lena had called and you had been unable to answer. Suddenly, you also felt about to lose your temper.

Your morning had started as a dream, better even, as you woke to the most beautiful woman you had ever met. Then it was all ruined when you received an emergency call from the DEO. There was an attack from an alien group right downtown and you were required as a back up under Alex's direct orders. You knew you couldn't say no. The threat seemed serious enough and while you had wanted to wait till late morning in the Lena's bed, your fair conscience wouldn't let you leave your friends alone. You had spent one of the most incredible nights of your life, and you were stuck fighting aliens. Mostly, you were afraid this was the beginning and the end of your relationship with Lena.

"Why are there so many?" You grunted as you finally landed a punch who knocked one of those aliens.

"(Y/N), focus. Your fire may spread." Kara said and you realized a couple of your fireballs had hit a couple of small vending carts.

The flames around you were getting bigger, and you had to stop for a second to take a few deep breaths to lessen them. You also didn't want to cause more collateral damage with your powers.

"Alright then, let's finish this before you do decide to carbonize them." She joked.

"Good." It was all you said before continuing the fight.

Finally, you managed to end the fight. All aliens were taken to the DEO and while Alex and Kara had wanted you to accompany them to fill the reports you told them you had an emergency somewhere else. So you burned and used your flames to propel yourself into the sky.

Lena was taking a small break after finishing a meeting, watching the news a bout the alien attack downtown when her phone started to ring. She recognized your number and frowned for a moment before deciding to answer.

"I'm sorry." She heard you say and it wasn't something she had expected to hear first on this conversation.

"You don't need to apologize, (Y/N)." Lena responded with a coldness that made you wince on the other side of the line. "I'm sure you had something more important to do this morning."

"N-no. Yes." You rushed and Lena was left confused for a moment. You never stuttered. "I mean that I... I didn't mean to leave like that. I want to tell you what happened."

"You don't need to explain."

"I do." You replied with more confidence. "Meet me in the rooftop."

That left Lena startled and the fact that you mentioned the rooftop got her even more nervous. So she hurried, leaving a call for her assistant to cancel the rest of her appointments, and headed to the company's rooftop.

She couldn't start to imagine why you were there or how you had managed to even get there in the first place, it seemed so out of yourself that she almost feared she really pushed your buttons last night. Whatever you were planning, she was going to make sure you didn't do anything more reckless.

She pushed the door to the rooftop and found you pacing in the middle at the base of the helipad. She could hear the whole city from up there and the wind rushing in her ears.

"(Y/N), what are you doing?" She said as she approached you.

You walked towards her and stopped a few steps away. "I'm sorry."

"I know but why don't we talk about this somewhere else?"

"I figured your office had fire alarms." You said.

"Fire alarms?" Lena tried to take another step towards you and you had to take a step back. "(Y/N), I don't understand what's happening."

"Do you remember what we talked about last night?" You saw Lena frown a bit in confusion. "About me never losing control because that would get people hurt?"

"Yes." Lena watched you with attention, noticing the subtle hesitation behind your eyes and your words.

"It's just that..." You shook your head and then took a deep breath before raising your arm. "It's hard to look at."

"(Y/N), you don't need to-" She saw the exact moment your arm began to catch fire. You held your hand at eye level and watched it as it started to burn.

She opened her mouth in shock and surprise as it finally clicked in her brain. The news about the alien attack were pretty much excited to have a better look at National City's new hero known as Hellfire and while looking at you she thought the name was fitting. You had been right, it wasn't something easy to look at. Soon enough it wasn't just your arm but your whole body burning. The flames made their way consuming you and she could see your burning flesh through them. Skin, muscle and bone was burning the way she would expect some piece of carbon to do so. Then it was your eyes, glowing like molten lava.

You let Lena watch for a moment before meeting her eye. After seeing the shock in her face you decided it was enough for a show. You took a deep breath once again and let the flames die, leaving your scorched skin exposed but it healed so fast that it was barely noticeable what had happened.

"When I was younger, the building I lived in with my family burned. It was night and we woke up to late to escape the fire. I was caught in the fire, and I burned...and burned, and burned, and burned." You remembered the night it had happened, still fresh in your memory and as painful as ever. "I was found in that same building during the night. I had no burns, no wounds, no scars, and no one that could explain how that was possible. They took me to the hospital and when they told me I had been the only survivor, I got so angry and desperate that I started a new fire right there."

Lena went back to the night before, the way you seemed to hold yourself, the way your hands touched her body almost methodically, the air becoming hotter with each heavy breath. She had imagined you were about to burst, and she had no idea how literal that could have been.

This time when she approached you she was glad you didn't step back again. "Why didn't you say anything before?"

"Because I was afraid of a lot of things. Because you ignite something in me, Lena, something I have no real control over." You swallowed, her closeness making you nervous once again.

"Last night you were pretty much under control." She moved closer and closer towards you. There was certain relief in her words. All her fears and doubts had been erased as she realized you wanted this as much as her.

"That's because the thing I'm most afraid of is hurting you. I would go mad if that ever happened." You lifted a hand up to her face and traced the line of her jaw with your fingertips. "I can't lose you."

"You won't." She said before she pulled you in for another kiss.

She felt your lips against hers and she found herself thinking again about the flames of a bonfire, warm and soothing against the cold of the night. She thought it wouldn't it be that bad to be consumed by your fire.

[ssvgawara]

I know a place: Atsumu Route

↬Miya Atsumu x reader; Miya Osamu x reader

↬ In which Atsumu has developed feelings for the reader and after accepting to go on a date he takes her to his brother’s shop: Onigiri Miya. But what happens when after their date you text Atsumu asking for Osamu’s number?

↬wc: 1.1k

↬Warnings: probably cursing, time skip spoilers, fluff, angst

↬A/n: the first 300 words of this were written at 3am while i had Atsumu brainrot so please enjoy that i am not emtionally damaging atsumu in this chapter because all he gets in osamu’s route for at least a few chapters is just pain so take this good soft shit. also sorry that the tension was resolved so quickly here i am in need of soft tsumu so i made things better quick. Also!!! I promised whatever i wrote next was dedicated to @1-800-imagine​ just because jara deserves it so this is dedicated to u bubs sorry for the long note enjoy this chapter because its probably my fave <3

» ──────» ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐶ «────── «

“This wasn’t a good idea, I’m just going to go,” You say, “Bye Atsumu”

You turn and begin to walk away making it a few steps before Atsumu called out to you, making you stop and standstill.

“Y/n wait”

» ──────» ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐶ «────── «

Your best friend calling out for you had you hesitating before walking out, giving him enough time to get up and grab your wrist to stop you like this moment was some cliche romantic moment (which it is but you and Atsumu have yet to figure that out).

You turn to face him tears threatening to spill from your eyes. A look of hurt passed over Atsumu’s eyes. He hated seeing you so hurt, over words he had said to you. His need to care for you overtook him and he pulled you into a tight hug. Right in the middle of the cafe. But neither of you seemed to notice the stares, especially as the hug became longer. Finally, you pulled away to look up to the blond.

“I’m sorry,” You said for what felt like the millionth time that day.

“No, I’m sorry,” Atsumu said, “for getting mad at ya and not considering yer feelings in all this.”

A smile finally graced your lips.

“Can things go back to normal?” You asked that smile not leaving your face, “Or at least somewhat normal?”

“Sure babe, whatever ya want,” Atsumu smiled seeing you wrinkle your nose when he called you babe. He smiled because things were better. He smiled because you were happy with him again, even if it wasn’t how he expected he would rather be in your life like this then not be in your life at all.

“How about we go back to my place, and we order food, my treat,” You gave a slight grin. Atsumu nodded in agreement and without hesitation you grabbed his hand and led him out onto the sidewalk before heading in the direction of your apartment.

The walk back to your place wasn’t long, and there was a comfortable silence between the two of you. The entire time you didn’t let go of Atsumu’s hand, afraid of losing him yet again. The two of you made it back to your comfortable apartment still not having said a word since apologizing and agreeing to come back here.

Finally you let go of Atsumu’s hand and made your way to the kitchen where you kept a large amount of takeout menus. Handing the stack to Atsumu you let him pick the place. It felt normal, comforting even. The thought of Atsumu not being in your life was not one you dwelled on often. You didn’t have many friends considering you left your hometown after graduating high school, so you could pursue your dream career. You made it where you are on your own and that’s something your proud of.

But now you’re not alone, you have Atsumu by your side. He was there every time you felt down, or homesick, or were celebrating some promotion at work. He was there to celebrate birthdays and holidays and you almost felt empty without him around.

And

Oh god.

You did like Atsumu back. 

You began to sit there stewing in your emotions while Atsumu looked over the takeout menus. You couldn’t just tell Atsumu you did like him after tearing his heart into tiny pieces just to try and mend it with a couple of bandaids. You two just fixed the problem that could’ve been fixed if you had realized your emotions sooner.

“I’m thinking we should order from here,” Atsumu said waving a paper menu in front of your face pulling you from your internal thoughts. You swallowed nervously and nodded, hoping Atsumu didn’t notice your nerves (He did). Or at least won’t say anything (He won’t). You took the menu looking at which restaurant he had chosen. It was the one you two ordered from the most, you had the order memorized from the amount of nights the two of you spent sprawled out on your couch eating until you couldn’t and watching whatever mindless show was on that you could judge the characters and their bad choices.

The more you sat on it though, your life seemed to be becoming one of those cheesy tv romance dramas.

Of course the two of you ended up going through the normal spiel before the food made it to your home. Atsumu had to complain every five minutes and ask you when the food would get there, claiming he was, “going to starve to death if he didn’t eat soon.” And every time he complained you threatened with, “Tsumu I swear to god that if you don’t stop asking that I’m going to kick you out and eat all the food on my own while texting you about how good it is.”

He would then retaliate with, “Ya can’t even eat all of that!” And you would in your most serious voice tell him to “Watch me,” which normally shut him up for a few minutes before the cycle started again.

Finally after about 5 rounds of complaints and threats the food made it. You paid and got the food before heading back and setting it on the coffee table.

This night was giving you some serious deja vu and you didn’t like how it ended.

But luckily it didn’t seems as if it was going to end the same. You and Atsumu ate all the food you could and ended up watching garbage reality tv on Netflix. This went on for hours, unnoticed by either of you, you had begun to move closer and closer to him until he had an arm around your shoulders and you were resting your head on his chest. It was comfortable and domestic and you didn’t want to move, in fear of ruining such a peaceful moment.

Neither of you moved even as the evening became night and even then it got later and later. Your eyes began to grow heavy, the tv became mindless noise in the background lulling you deeper into sleep, You curled up closer to Atsumu and he pulled you closer. Between the warmth he was radiating and the mindless noise you fell asleep. Once the episode ended and Netflix finally bothered to asked if you even watch did Atsumu notice you had fell asleep in his arms.

Without thinking he pulled you into his arms and got situated, laying on the couch. It wasn’t the most comfortable but he didn’t want to move and end this moment.

“Night y/n” he mumbles pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of your head before getting as comfortable as he could and drifting off into sleep with you in his arms.

Even if the two of you wouldn’t admit it you wouldn’t admit it to each other, you were hopelessly in love.

» ──────» ᘛ⁐̤ᕐᐶ «────── «

Taglist: @meepeo​ @kuroosrighttoe​ @mochiiyaya​ @callmekda​ @dearkags​ @kara-grayson04​ @nicka-nell​

[skullsandwineglasses]

The Rebel Princess First Impressions (episode 16)

My first drama of 2021 and my first drama in 4 months. 

AvenueX’s harsh review piqued my interest, especially when she mentioned the high production quality of the drama and the list of talent that was behind the production of the drama. So I went into this drama knowing nothing about the plot, having high expectations for the production, and no expectations about the characters because of AvenueX’s criticism. I’ve always respected Zhang Ziyi because of her dedication to the art and her legendary filmography, but I wouldn’t call myself a fan. I agreed with AvenueX; ZZY has an aura and elegance that’s meant for mature, cold characters, so I was wary of her playing a Mary Sue who’s innocent and doted upon. 

I first saw Zhou Yi Wei when he played Zhao Liying’s classy, composed, protective, and rich older brother in My Glamourous Times. He’s not classically handsome, but there’s a measured confidence in the way he carries himself that exudes masculinity, and that’s also balanced by his more feminine qualities like his quiet, airy voice and his full lips. He also has an intense gaze that feels like he’s looking straight into the soul of whoever he’s speaking to. 

I also watched ZZY and ZYW’s collaboration on I Am an Actor, so I knew that the chemistry would be there between them. 

Okay, so enough preamble. Spoilers ahead. 

First 8 episodes:

I didn’t mind ZZY playing a young teenager. Yes, it does take a bit of getting used to, but kind of like the CGI in The Irishman, but it very soon doesn’t become distracting and you manage to suspend your disbelief. I came in expecting the worse, like an exaggerated caricature, but ZZY actually pulls it off quite well. Since this is a coming-of-age drama, it’s a given that the first few episodes are going to be about a main character who starts off as innocent, naive, and carefree. I’d rather have the main actress portray these young scenes than to have a completely differ actress do this. The first few episodes are meant to anchor you emotionally into the drama and to empathize with the FL. If you introduced ZZY after 8 episodes, you wouldn’t really emotionally connect with her since the trauma that catapults the character into maturity was experienced by the younger actress. So for me, the age was a non-issue. I was concerned that it would be cringey, but it wasn’t. It’s called acting ffs. Why can people play older characters when they’ve never been older, but people can’t play younger characters, even though they were once that age. I forgot how pretty ZZY is though. 

Sure, the FL is a Mary Sue, but I didn’t find her annoying. Maybe it’s because ZZY makes it work. Who knows. Essentially, everyone dotes in her, every man has a crush on her. She’s spoiled, she’s kind. She’s perfect. Her lineage is incomparable and powerful (even if a little incestuous). Not to mention a little corrupt as well. I guess she wasn’t annoying because she doesn’t try hard to be righteous. She has a privileged life and she’s just living with what she’s given. She only asks that she is able to have a love marriage instead of an arrange marriage. Typical, but understandable. 

My complaint is that I didn’t feel any chemistry between her and Zi Tan, the second prince. Unlike Ming Lan and Yuan Ruo in Story of Ming Lan, Awu’s first love just didn’t capture the imagination. Maybe it’s because ZYW’s Xiao Qi stole the show from early on, which made it hard to jump on board Zi Tan’s ship. 

Awu and Xiao only had a handful of interactions, but their chemistry is palpable (ZYW’s gaze is just....ugh swoon). They first meet that night at the festival where she unknowingly insults him and then he saves her and Zi Tan later that night. Then a couple episodes later, he saves her again when she falls off the roof during her escape from the crown prince. They only cross paths briefly 2 times in 4 episodes, and one of those times they weren’t even talking to ech other because she faints, and yet he’s totally taken by her. He’s a goner. But he know she’s out of his league, and so he keeps his feelings to himself, even though he can’t stop thinking about her and stays up at night staring at the moon remembering their 2 encounters. Talk about a slow burn. Insta love shouldn’t work, but again, it does here. 

I like Xiao Qi’s character. He doesn’t speak much, he doesn’t emote much, but he’s not the typical cold, distant, irritable ML from idol dramas. Xiao Qi isn’t afraid to love. He’s tender, gentle, composed, and calm. The sexual tension between him and Awu from when he rescued her to when they consummate their marriage is through the roof. He takes on the role of a husband by taking care of her, entrusting her fully with managing his household, puts her above everything else in his life, and always takes her side. He closes the distance between them while still giving her space, respecting her, and waiting until she’s ready. Even though he initially thought of himself ill-suited for her, once they’re married, he slowly wins her over. Episode 13 is obviously my favourite because that’s when Awu finally warms up to him. 

Honestly, this relationship only works because of the smitten looks that Xiao Qi gave her that night when they first met at the festival. Those few intrigued/amused looks carry this relationship for 13 episodes. And I love how he brings up that night again when he’s caring for her after he rescued her from Helan Zhen. 

Speaking of Helan Zhen, I find it funny how it sounds like Helian Zheng from The Rise of Phoenixes, and it’s played by the same actor too (edit: NOT the same actor. This is Yuan Hong who played Jin Si Yu in TROP, and a more veteran actor than than the one who played Helian Zheng. Should have known that ZZY would pick Justin Hong who has much more acting experience. TBF tho, with the facial hair, they look similar) and has similar costuming. 

In terms of the political storyline, it’s not bad, but it’s not great, so I see AvenueX’s criticism here. I haven’t watched too many political intrigues, but so far, nothing has been overly surprising or shocking. 

The level of acting and production definitely lives up to expectations, although I have noticed some jumpy cuts. Some of the night scenes in the palace also look kind of CGI though, especially the sky. 

General Song is great. The ML always has a loyal sidekick. The FL also always has a loyal maid, and a disloyal maid who betrays her. In this sense, the drama is quite formulaic. 

It’s also nice to see Kara Hui and Angie Chiu act opposite each other. Angie Chiu is obviously speaking cantonese, and it looks like Kara Hui also speaks cantonese when she has a scene with Angie Chiu, maybe to help her get immersed into the scene. 

Overall Impressions: My basic self is only watching this for the romance, which so far has been slow and minimal (but really good). Xiao Qi is completely absent in episode 16 unfortunately, which is about Awu gaining the respect of his army. 

I do think this is a good spot to pause though. There’s no angst yet. Awu and Xiao Qi are at a good place in their relationship, even if they’re temporarily physically separated for now. Emotionally, they trust each other. It’s them against the world. 

But I’m worried about the upcoming episodes. Based on comments from MyDramaList, it sounds like there are going to be misunderstandings by around episode 33ish, which I’m not happy about. I was hoping that it would be similar to Ming Lan and Gu Tingye’s relationship dynamic where they trust each other fully and there are no secrets or misunderstandings, and they work together against the antagonistic forces opposing them. But it sounds like the drama is going, to well, stir up drama between the leads. 

I powered through 16 episodes in 2 days, and only 41 raw episodes have been released. Which means that I’ll probably catch up within the next few days, and then I’ll have to play the waiting game until the finale at the end of February. So I’ll just take a pause now before things ramp up and I get too attached and maybe watch something else before coming back to binge this. 

[arowrimo]

AroWriMo 2020 Writing

Here’s a masterpost of the 36 works from Aromantic Writing Month 2020 (under the cut)

Do share, like, and comment on the works you enjoy!

Poetry:

Screams by @exhausted-queer

Prompt: Self-love Language: English Words: 464 CWs: self harm, depression, death, grief, abuse, sex, sexual abuse

Let Me Be by Anon (via ask)

Theme: Loveless Prompt: Acceptance Language: English Words: 86 CWs: Ableism, Aphobia

Ballrooms and Waves by @aro-ace-and-hungry

Theme: Loveless Language: English Words: 655 CWs: Romance mention, Anxiety 

Loveless by @soph00bear

Theme: Loveless Language: English Words: 207 CWs: Aphobia mention, Arophobia mention

Am I A Monster? by @wish-ful-thinking513

Theme: Loveless Language: English Words: 157 CWs: Arophobia, Blood, Aphobia, Gore

Short stories:

Loveless by @kitkatt0430 Ao3 link

Original fiction Prompt: Acceptance Language: English Words: 753 CWs: Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Unhappy relationship, Gaslighting,  Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Amatanormativity Summary:

She’s never been in love.  It’s an odd realization to have as she’s packing her things and he’s given up on asking her to stay. Now he just obstructs her on occasion, arguing that things which are hers are really his.

Some things are worth the effort to fight for. Others are not.

He is not.

Two by @junietuesday Ao3 link

Original fiction Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Community, Acceptance Language: English Words: 953 CWs: Sex References (character is aroallo), Homophobia, Brief Mentions of Racism + Ableism, Internalized Amatonormativity Summary:

The girl is a loner.

Of her own will and desire, of course. Not because she’s a little too open about her opinions (particularly about romance), and a little too closed-off when they ask her why she has them. Not because she’s terrified what her fellow ninth graders will do to her when they realize she has no soulmark. Not because she figures that she might as well just push them away first, before they can push her.

To Unmask A Witch by @agnezztealeaf

Original fiction Language: English Prompt: Friendship Genre: Fantasy Words: 4457 CW: Discussions around amatonormativity and heteronormativity, references to blood and violence

Summary:

It wasn’t that the cottage at the outskirts of the village was actually run-down or dilapidated, but if you squinted and looked at it through your eyelashes in dim light, you could imagine that it could be. It wasn’t that it was a ruckle, it was that the children thought it should be one.

You see, if a witch lived in a cottage, then that cottage should be falling apart, its windows murky with mould, the roof broken and roof shingles scattered on the garden path and in the flowerbeds, and the garden a mess of weeds and rotting greens. It felt insulting, the children thought, that an otherwise perfectly scary and threatening witch should live in such a charming and well-kept little house. So, when they hid in the forest near the cottage, staking it out, or walked past it on their way to a friend’s house, they squinted and imagined what should have been there, instead of what really was.

Annie of Anglesey by @writelikeanaro

Original fiction Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Self-love Genre: Historical fiction/folk tale Words: 4,676 CWs: Past marriage, Unwanted romantic interest, Public proposal, Grief

Summary:

Annie is living quite happily alone in the mountains, when the king comes to her for aid in a competition. Hoping to get something for herself out of the situation, she agrees to help him.

Seed of A Memory by @skylights422

Original fiction Language: English Theme: Subverting Romantic Tropes, Fantasy Prompt: Friendship Genre: Fantasy, Drama Words: 1907 CWs: Brief mentions of racism and arophobia

Summary:

Fiera Casales takes a stroll with her pretend boyfriend and ponders the importance of things like love and memory. 

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot by @wellintentionedbibliophile

Original fiction Language: English Theme: Subverting Romantic Tropes Prompt: Friendship Genre: Fiction Words: 1088 CWs: Breakup, End of the World, Neopronouns

We’re not quite a gang (more like a strange family) by @amanita-cynth Ao3 link

Original fiction Language: English Category: Short Stories Prompt: Friends and Pride Genre: Superheroes/Slice of Life Words: 5232 CWs: Background romantic relationship mentioned, discussion of aphobia and amatonormativity, bomb mention

Summary:

Some scars aren’t physical and can be all the worse for it. But maybe a woman brimming with her own hard-won self confidence and the new friends they pick up afterwards can help Allen overcome the hurtful words from his past. After all, if a dozen new friends think you’re great and a literal god chose you as a Champion it shouldn’t be so hard, right?

“Oh.” He blinked. “People usually say it’s weird that I don’t want people- women- flirting with me.”

“Boundaries are boundaries.” She waved a hand dismissively. From the depths of her hood, her eyes gleamed with light from a passing car and briefly lit up more details; the casual ease of her expression, her slightly lidded eyes, the soft curves of her warm, brown face. Shame it didn’t do much for him beyond the realisation that she really was that nonchalant about it, and also quite beautiful.

And A Monster Steals Your Children by @arosnowflake

Original fiction Language: English Prompt: none/belonging (loosely) Genre: Fantasy Words: 2170 CWs: heavy ableism (including internalized ableism), off-screen child murder, ableist language, mild amatonormativity.

Summary:

It is said that, in a tower rising above the valley, a monster lives, and that it steals children’s souls. Netel, one of those stolen children, goes to kill it.

Untitled by @wish-ful-thinking513

Original fiction Language: English Genre: Sci-fi Words: 951 CWs: Needles, injections

Summary:

This is a short story based on a prompt from @lgbtqwritingprompts. I don’t usually write sci-fi, so this was a fun change… I feel like it was obvious that science isn’t really my thing though. I tried to keep stuff vague (ie: are clones human??? The more I thought about it, the less sure I was)… well,  I tried my best!

November: The Hell Week to End All Hell Weeks by @eadrey-the-iptscray Ao3 link

Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013) Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Community and acceptance Genre: Slice of life Words: 2,776 CWs: Bigotry mentions, light marital romance

Summary:

The Shatterdome baristas meet the regulars. Teasing, pranks, and awkward small talk ensue.

Traditional by @amanita-cynth Ao3 link

Fandom: Leverage Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Acceptance Genre: Character study Words: 1393 CWs: References to sex (aro character is aroallo), romantic relationship in the background and referred to, marriage mentioned

Summary:

Eliot doesn’t so much fall in love as come to the realisation that he’s going to die for them.

Or: How Eliot learns some new things about himself and Parker and Hardison learn just how to stay with him.

February - Leap Year Sucks by @eadrey-the-iptscray Ao3 link

Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013) Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Family and self-love Genre: Slice of life Words: 2,866 CWs: Lingering grief over a parent’s death, light marital romance

Summary:

The Shatterdome baristas and regulars slog through a soggy February with all kinds of struggles. At least they've got each other to commiserate with.

Skywalker by @kitkatt0430 Ao3 link

Fandom: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy Language: English Prompt: Family Words: 2,964 CWs: Major character death, indentured servitude/slavery

Summary:

Rey’s family was never coming back for her.  In learning to accept this and move on, Rey builds herself a whole new family, one choice at a time.

A Place to Start by @kitkatt0430​ Ao3 link

Fandom: Supergirl (TV 2015) Relationships: Kara Danvers/James “Jimmy” Olsen Language: English Prompt: Acceptance Words: 2,993 CWs: Break up

Summary:

“I’m doing that thing again,” Kara told the duck. It ignored her for the corn. “Always happens. I was trying so hard not to do it this time, but there it goes. Happening all over again.”

(In which Kara doesn’t need Alex to tell her that dating James is making her miserable.  But she does wish someone would tell her why every time she starts dating someone, her romantic feelings fizzle out shortly afterwards.)

The Only Trope for Me is You by @tommytonebender​ Ao3 Link

Fandom: The Venture Bros Relationships: Billy Quizboy/Pete White Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Genre: Supernatural, character study Words: 4,338 CWs: Discussions of amatonormativity, non-explicit sexual humor, most references are there to make fun of fanfic tropes, language, brief heavy themes.

Summary:

Supernatural forces ensnare our heroes, forcing them to… have a grown-up conversation? [A fake episode B-Plot]

April - Confessions and Epiphanies by @eadrey-the-iptscray Ao3 link

Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013) Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Friendship and pride Genre: Slice of life Words: 2,261 CWs: Martial affection and love confessions

Summary:

Finally, communication!

Miss You by Dain Ao3 link

Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy Language: English Prompt: Friendship Words: 484

Summary:

Luke huffed. “Maybe I don’t want to leave.”

“You do,” Biggs said. “You know it’s worth it. You’ll do fine.”

Baby I’m Not Made of Stone, It Hurts  by @emjenwrites​ Ao3 link

Fandom: Peaky Blinders BBC Language: English Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Character Study Words: 22.6K (only the first 1.7K on tumblr, follow the links to AO3 for the rest) CWs: romance (character is demiromantic), implied/referenced sexual content, implied/referenced pedophilia (basically the same level of implication as canon), implied/referenced suicide, one instance of antiziganism, internalized arophobia (so much internalized arophobia), arophobia, self-hatred, canon-typical language, child abuse, parentification, codependency, prostitution, kidnapping, emetophobia, PTSD, traumatic brain injuries, headaches and migraines

Summary:

Things with the Russians and Section D had started bad and ended worse, and that was before Polly, Arthur, John, and Michael went and got fucking arrested. Or Tommy Shelby grapples with loneliness, guilt, health issues, and romantic orientation in the aftermath of s3.

Unease by Dain Ao3 link

Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy Language: English Words: 1,227 CWs: One-sided attraction, Unwanted romantic interest

Summary: Beritt was new, and not in Luke’s squadron, but you got to know people. There’d been barely anything to do for the last week but mingle.

Which would have been enjoyable, if not for the fact that Beritt was…interested in Luke.

July - Come Back Home, And Soon by @eadrey-the-iptscray Ao3 link

Fandom: Pacific Rim (2013) Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Prompt: Belonging and comfort Genre: Slice of life Words: 1,271 CWs: None

Summary:

Summer break means quiet days at The Shatterdome and the same old conversations with family.

The Only Demons Here are Mine by @amanita-cynth Ao3 link

Fandom: One Piece Language: English Prompt: Belonging and Comfort Genre: Character/Relationship Study Word count: 3048 Content warnings: Mental health issues including dissociation and suicidal thoughts and ideation. Medical/bodily things discussed. Spoilers for Law’s backstory and violence therein.

Summary:

But he’d said it, hadn’t he, at Dressrosa? That if it all went wrong Law wanted to die by his side. Naturally, it had been 80% about Doflamingo, but there had been a part of him screaming: he’s here and in danger because of you, because he does the right thing just because he can, because he is selfish and insanely determined about those he calls friends and you knew that and still let him get close, because he looked at you and called you a good man and the least you can do for someone like that is die alongside them.

Or: dealing with a pirate war and a sudden lack of life goals is bad enough without trying to figure out confusing new feelings.

Chapter 2 of The Coffee Shop AU by @theinvisiblegurlz

Fandom: Assassin’s Creed Movie Language: English Theme: Subverting romantic tropes Genre: Coffee shop AU CWs: Amatonormativity mention Summary:

A non-romantic coffee shop AU.

To Our Future by Dain Ao3 link

Fandom: Star Wars Original Trilogy Language: English Word count: 999 Content warnings: Grief, Anxiety

Summary:

Luke couldn’t keep the smile off his face.It was such a simple expression; the flexing of a few muscles, and not nearly enough to give full voice to his soaring, unrestrained joy, the lightness and fullness of spirit that made him ache until he thought he might burst with the strength of it.

Microfiction:

Rain by @wellintentionedbibliophile​

Original fiction Language: English Genre: Science fiction Word count: 319 CWs: none

Novel:

The Crystal Heart  by @twilight-lukos

Language: English Theme: Fantasy Genre: Speculative Fiction / Fantasy

Excerpt 1


Word Count: 931 CWs: Feeling pressure to choose a romantic partner

Summary:

Prince Haraq visits Princess Chareith, who has a reputation for being difficult to suitors. The two bond over a legend Chareith loves about the lost Crystal Island. Haraq expresses interest in her opinions but shows no romantic interest.

Excerpt 2

Words: 695 CWs: none

Summary:

After Chareith expresses her frustrations, Haraq suggest the two sneak out for a day and do some exploring. Chareith agrees, thinking to find some interesting relics in the nearby desert and marsh, maybe in relation the legend of the Crystal Island.

Excerpt 3

Words: 587 CWs: feelings of forced romantic normalcy or amatonormativity

Summary:

While on a secret outing, Chareith is abducted by a sorcerer and taken to an isolated tower with a mysterious history. The sorcerer tells Chareith that she has magical potential. Finding this to be true, she wonders what this means for her now.

Excerpt 4

Words: 846 CWs: none


Summary:

While on a secret outing, Chareith is abducted by an invisible, flying creature. Haraq sets out to find her. The stone fragment he and Chareith found has led him into a strange place, bordered by mist. A/N: this occurs before Excerpt #3; I wasn't going to post this but I've had it all nicely prepped to go since early February and I did want to share it, even if it's vaguer about the aromantic angle in-story

Non-fiction:

Aromantic Writing Month! by @anonymousaroace​

Language: English Theme: Acceptance Words: 487

Kricket’s First Zine by @autcore​ Direct link

Language: English

Summary:

Super short aro perzine about questioning and being lonely whilst aro

Game:

To Be Aspected (WIP) by @anonymaceally​ Latest update itch.io game link

Ally submission Language: English Theme: Fantasy Prompt: Mythos, fables Genre: Friend sim/Fantasy CWs: Some unwanted flirting. Discussions about gender and sexual identity. Adult language and situations like taxes. Content might be unfinished.

Summary:

The reader walks into a tavern owned by a squad of Aces called “Queen Anne’s Ace” . The reader stays for a week and enjoys has interesting conversations with the patrons there.

[aceofwhump]

Okay so I got back into my Supergirl binge, just finished season 3, and I HAVE THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS. So buckle up cause I'm just gonna put this all under post. There’s a lot here. It's really random and incoherent and long so I'm putting it under a read more.

If you’ve been with me a while you know I can get....passionate about characters I love so this probably won’t be anything new lol. For all you newcomers this is a good time to warn you that I can get long winded in my outpouring of affection for certain whumpees.

Also, spoiler alert I guess if you haven't watched. And if you are a Mon-El hater reading this please don’t interact. I won’t put up with that bullshit. This is positive Mon-El post cause I LOVE MON-EL SO MUCH

TW: discussions of child abuse, emotional and physical

First of all, you guys remember me posting about how much I loved Mon-El and how I had thoughts on how I wanted him whumped? I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED!!!! God he got whumped so good!! The gunshot! The Medusa virus!! The emotional angst! The stuff with Rhea!! The lead poisoning!! Him having to leave! HEARTBREAKING! WONDERFUL! I LOVE IT!! I NEED MORE!! He whumps so so good!! And there's still soooooo many ways I'd love to see but probably won't get to. Ugh so many opportunities and ideas I'd love to explore.

Secondly, I have feelings about Mon-El and Rhea and Daxam in general. 

Oooh boy do I have feelings. OH MY GOD the Mon-El angst that can/does come out of it all is so fucking delicious!

Rhea is one abusive, manipulative BITCH and I feel so bad for Mon-El! I can only imagine the things he went through a child if she is doing this shit to him as an adult. In the show we’ve seen that Rhea has physically struck him (not only did she slap him across the face but she also punched him so hard in the chest he went flying across the room), locked him up on their ship (and was going to keep him in caged for the next 4 years while she brainwashed him into being the "prince” he used to be), continually emotionally manipulates him, murdered his father and blamed it on him, repeatedly ignores his wishes and words, attacked the people he loves, threatens him, guilt trips him, tried to force him into a marriage using the lives of sick children to manipulate him into it, took locks of his hair without his consent in order to make a progeny with his dna (seriously what the fuck!), invaded his new home with an army, plays on his emotions and love for her as his mother to manipulate him, lies to him, and so much more.

Shes a monster and if she does this shit to him now then you can bet she did this shit when he was growing up. And that hurts me. Thinking about how emotionally and physically abusive Rhea must have been to Mon-El as he grew up in Daxam is heartbreaking

(Also, did Mon-El actually ever learn that his mother murdered his father!? Cause I'd have liked to see Kara tell him and his reaction towards it! He would have been devastated by it. And it would have been really hard for Kara to tell him something like that. Oh man can you imagine the guilt he'd feel over that!? My heart.)

Then there’s everything we learn about Daxam through things Mon-El says and how his parents act and my god if I grew up in that environment i’d be messed up too. I mean he’s canonically said in 2x20 that "we'd drug ourselves, so we literally didn't feel anything" back in Daxam. That’s so fucking heartbreaking! And he says this after he think he sees (he does actually see her but doesn’t believe he did) his mom on the streets and nearly has a fucking panic attack! 

Mon-El: I, um... (SIGHS) I thought I saw my mother last night. I didn't. Don't worry. I went and checked, and my parents' ship definitely had left for Daxam a few weeks ago. But thinking I saw her, it... I thought it would make me feel anger. But I felt, um... Other... Other stuff... I just... I hate... I hate that I still care about her.

Kara: Hey, we can't will ourselves to not feel anything. Life doesn't work like that.

Mon-El: On Daxam, that's exactly what we'd do. We'd drug ourselves, so we literally didn't feel anything.

Kara: You're allowed to miss her. She is your mother.

Mon-El: Well, she's gone forever. So...

AND! And! I was thinking about when Mon-El saw her on the streets and how much it effected him and how much of an emotional roller coaster that was for him. From the fear of seeing her again to realizing that he still loves her despite everything she’s done and it’s so heartbreaking seeing how much he doesn’t want to feel anything towards her but he does and it hurts him. God fuck Daxam and fuck Rhea. I’m glad he got out of that crap planet and into an environment where he can grow and heal.

Third: Mon-El has been through so much and I really really want to see someone talk to him about it and see him breakdown and someone hug him dammit!

Let’s take a look at everything Mon-El has been through for a second. I mean he witnesses the destruction of Daxam and is forced into an escape pod and is sent into space before he can even think anything. He crash lands on an unknown planet, is in a coma for a while, wakes up panicked and confused with a Kryptonian over him and for him no time has past since he escaped Daxam and he doesn’t know his people are dead so he runs and tries to get home. He’s in unknown territory and he’s in distress and gets caught by Kara who hates him because hes from Daxam and she knocks him and locks him up. So he’s confused and being confronted by a Kryptonian with a clear prejudice against him and then he learns HIS PEOPLE AND PLANET ARE DEAD and he is a refugee now and jeezus that must have been really hard to hear! But no time to process that I guess cause now you have to learn to navigate a strange world but oh you can't leave this facility yet cause we don't trust you. So here live in this random corner of this room. Who needs it to feel homey. Then he gets kidnapped by an evil organization while trying to help someone and gets shot in the leg. Then he gets infected with a virus and nearly dies. All the while he's hiding the fact that he's the prince of Daxam because he’s afraid if Kara finds out she'll hate him again like when they first met (I mean she flat out said at one point that she didn’t want to go on a date with him because of the way he is/who he is) and you know what HE WAS RIGHT! Doesn’t matter that he's trying to change or that his identity would have been a bad thing to blurt out to a Kryptonian. Kara breaks up with him and let's be real who can he go to to talk about this? No one. Cause they'd all take Kara's side. He maybe could go to Winn but not really. Things get better eventually and then his fucking parents show up and he’s back in that emotionally and physically abusive relationship and he’s trying to be stronger and better and he sacrifices himself over and over for Earth and for Kara. But no matter what he does he'll always be a Daxamite and never really trusted by them and that hurts. Winn (and yes of course Kara) was really the only one to truly care that the lead bomb would kill him too. That hurts me. Also! Also! He saw Rhea that day on the street and can you imagine the emotional tailspin that would have thrown him into!? Can you imagine if you saw you evil abusive mother on the street?

SOMEONE LOVE AND HUG MY SON!!

Wow sorry I got long winded there but god I have FEELS!!!!

Which I guess brings me to my next discussion: My feelings about Mon-El's return and the Legion.

Surprisingly I was not as upset over Mon-El and Saturn Girl (and the subsequent death of my favorite top Karamel cause fuck that hurts guys) as I thought I'd be and it took me a minute to work out why. The reason why is because the Legion are his family. Mon-El found his family and his purpose and he's happy. He lived 7 years in the future where he mourned his home and Kara and he found people who love him and he found purpose. He built a legacy, a family, based on everything Kara had taught him and that's amazing. I never felt like he fit in with the DEO group other than Winn and Kara. Even with Kara he sometimes still didn't feel like he fit. But with Imra and Brainy? It feels different. It feels good. They don’t see him as an untrustworthy Daxamite like the others did. To the Legion he’s just Mon-El. From the way he interacts with both Imra and Brainy and the quick lines he throws out about their lives in the future you can feel how different it is for him. They love him, they trust him. He called Brainy his best friend! It feels happy and they feel close just like a family. And I'm so so happy that its Winn who ends up going with him back to the future cause not only did Mon-El deserve to have his best friend back but Winn deserved that adventure and it makes me so damn happy.

I was really sad when he left again and really sad that he and Kara weren’t going to be together but it’s okay because he’s happy! Look at how much Mon-El has grown! He’s a true hero! He’s brave and smart and selfless and strong and I couldn’t be more proud of him. Being back was really hard for him but he tried to not hurt Kara and in the end he made the best decision for both of them. I’m so proud of him.

I wish so desperately that I could get a whole fanfic or series or even just tons of headcanons about his time forming and fighting with the Legion cause I want to see that family grow. That's a team I can get behind. I want to see everything that Mon-El went through from the time he landed in the future for the first time to him waking up in 3x07. I want to see how he adjusts and who he meets and see him slowly start fighting and finding others to fight with him cause Kara taught him to help people so he'll help people while he's stick here. I want to see him learn how to fight, him learning his cape tricks, getting his supersuit, fighting with the Legionnaires. But I also want to see him slowly lose hope of every returning home of ever seeing Kara again and how that affects him and hopefully see the rest of the Legion help him through that. To see that family begin to grow. To see him slowly accept that he won't ever see his home or Kara ever again. To see him reluctantly fall in love again. To see him accept his fate and make a home in the 31st century. To protect it and fight for it and his new family. To begin to feel happy and content in the future and finally feel at ease with his life again after years of closing himself of from others too afraid to lose them and hurt again. I want to see all of this. I also want to see what they're like now that Winn has joined them and how much fun those two have together in the future. How do the Legionnaires feel about losing Brainy? How do they feel about Winn? How do they bond?

One final thought. Less about Mon-El and more about the fandom.

You guys warned me about the hate he gets but oh my god I did not expect to see hatred in such a level as I did when I ventured into the tag looking for gifs. Jeezus fuck. I don't understand it. I do not understand how anyone could hate that adorable space puppy. Mon-El worked so hard to unlearn all of the bad things he's been taught since birth and is instead learning from Kara how to be a hero. And he does! He learns and grows and it's amazing and I'm so proud of him! He becomes a caring and supportive and loving boyfriend and is well on the way to being a real hero! He stands up against his evil abusive mother and turns away his people and fights for Kara and for Earth. I'm proud of him. Yes he makes mistakes but he recognizes it and tries really hard to learn from them and do better! How can you hate him with such vehemence!? How!? I've seen less hated towards actual villains! Villains who murder with glee and without remorse! Villains whose backstory is nothing than "I want to". But Mon-El is the one to get hated on? And for those fans to not just attack Mon-El going as far as to call him abusive (the fuck?) but to go after other fans who like him and ship Karamel? To go after Chris Wood himself?! The vitriol I've seen spouted is horrifying. I thought the hate I got for being a Grant Ward or a Roger Mackenzie fan was bad. And it was/is but this is....wow. Just wow. I'll never understand it.

I love Mon-El greatly. He's such a complex character. I love watching people grow and learn and his character development is a gift to watch. Seeing him go from the playboy asshole he started as to the caring and brave hero he is now is wonderful to watch. And I love him and Kara. You can see the love between Chris and Melissa every second the two of them on screen together and it warms my heart that they found each other, that after everything Melissa went through she found her happiness with Chris. And you can see that happiness with Kara and Mon-El. They were so cute and loving and so full of light. I love them and will continue to support and love Karamel forever.

[toalltheficsivelovedbefore]

Blind Date || johnny

childhood friend!johnny x fem!reader • fluff, tiny angst, friends to strangers to lovers, mention of cheating (not between the characters) • Your best friend sets you up on a blind date, but when the date doesn’t show up, Johnny swoops in to the rescue!

“I already told you no.”

“C’mon, please? It’s just one date!”

“Yeah, you said that last month too. And a couple weeks before that. I’m done meeting strangers.”

Kara, your best friend, pouts, flopping backward onto your bed, so she’s looking straight up at you. Luckily you moved your laptop in time or she would’ve fallen on it.

“Please? I swear this’ll be the last one. Hyuck vouched for him! He’s really nice and super sweet. And he’s not even anyone’s reject as far as I know.”

You quirked an eyebrow up, eyes still focused on the email you’re composing on your screen. “Obviously he is, or he wouldn’t be single. And like I’m gonna trust your boyfriend’s taste in men?”

“Going through a breakup and being rejected on a first date are not the same thing.” She sits up, folding her legs underneath herself so she’s crisscrossed. A hand comes to rest on your knee, finally dragging your eyes away from your work. For the first time, you notice how concerned your best friend looks. Concerned and worried for you, but you honestly don’t know why. “YN, it’s been so long since you broke up with… him. You keep refusing to put yourself out there and let someone love you. And refusing to let yourself fall in love again.” She patted your knee gently before standing from your bed, headed toward the door. “Just one last date, and if it doesn’t work out, I’ll never set you up again.”

————

The date is set for a Saturday, and Kara happily helps you pick out the perfect outfit and decide on makeup. She drops you off at the restaurant and promises to pick you up if you need it. You’d agreed to meet him at the bar, and now you’re wondering why you didn’t push her for more info on the guy. You were going into this practically blind, while he knew your name, face, and occupation. But Kara trusted him, so you just had to trust too.

No one stood out at the bar, no heads wagging around to get a look for any newcomers, so you found two open barstools. Your butt claimed one, and your purse the other.

Ten minutes passed without anyone coming up to you, so you ordered a drink. Maybe the wine would distract you from the fact it looked like you were getting stood up. Or walked out on. That was really the thought weighing on your mind, so of course, you didn’t turn the bartender down when he offered to refill your glass.

“YN?”

Oh, thank god! With a smile plastered to your face, you turned to greet who you assumed could only be your date. But the smile dropped when you saw the tall man occupying space next to you.

He was just as tall as you remembered, maybe taller. And he’d filled out in the shoulders and arms. Even though he wore a dark button-up, you could tell he’d added definition to his upper body over the years. Not that you were checking. And you definitely weren’t totally entranced at the way he had started styling his hair back with gel, a single piece slipped out to rest on his forehead. That one strand of hair calling back memories of being teenagers and carding your hands through his shaggy, overgrown hair while you told him he needed to start using gel to tame it. Oh, and that grin on his face, that caused whisker-like wrinkles that had always made you laugh and poke his cheek.

This could not be happening right now.

“Johnny Suh, I thought you were living in South Korea.”

You didn’t mean for your voice to sound so aggressive, but it did, and that gleam in his eye was disappearing.

“I thought you had moved away too.” He just stood there, looking over you, the grin faded, but still smiling. Always happy. Usually anyway.

“I moved back a few years ago.” Johnny looked at the stool you had your purse on, obviously signaling that he wanted to sit. Your watch told you that you’d been here for 30 minutes and there was no sign of a blind date. So with a sigh, you removed your bag, and let him climb onto it. Or slide onto it rather.

“Were you saving it for someone?” He waved for the bartender, his shirt sleeve slipping down to show he still wore that silver linked bracelet he’d got when you were 15 years old.

“Apparently not.” Your glass was empty again, and you let the bartender fill a third glass while Johnny ordered. “When did you move back here? Or are you just home for a visit?”

A cool, easy smile splashed across his face. “No, I’m here permanently. About a year ago I got offered a job here, so I made the trek home.”

“What kind of job?”

“Photographer for a magazine.”

You nearly spit your wine all over his expensive looking shirt. “P-photography?” He looked over at you confused, handing you a napkin to wipe your chin, a nod in answer. “But you said you were going to school to be a doctor. We argued over that for so long and then you just—” You cut yourself off. No reason to dig back into those old emotions.

He nodded again, understanding perfectly where you’d been going. He’d always been good at that. “No, yeah, I was originally going to school for that. Make the parents proud kind of thing. But once I got there, I realized it didn’t really matter. My parents would be happy as long as I was happy.” You nod. “Yeah, you told me that plenty of times. So I changed to an arts university but stayed in Korea. I liked it there and I’d already started to make friends anyway.”

It’d been too late, but at least he had finally taken your advice.

You looked over at him. He was drinking from his bottle of beer, and for a moment you remembered being 16 and sneaking into your parents’ liquor cabinet to try vodka for the first time. Johnny had nearly thrown up, and you’d told him you loved him for the first time. Your face went red at that memory.

“You should’ve told me. I would’ve been so proud.”

Johnny’s eyes found yours, a sad lift to his lips. “I tried. You blocked me everywhere, remember? Not even your friends would get a message to you from me. I gave up trying after your parents told me you’d left for college.”

You wanted to hang your head in shame. All those years of friendship down the drain because you were too stubborn to unblock him on social media. It occurred to you that he was still blocked, no wonder you hadn’t heard the news he was back.

“I’m sorry,” you mumbled. You’d never been very good at admitting when you’re wrong.

But his eyes perked up none the less and a grin found its way back to his mouth. “I’m sorry, what was that? What’d you say?”

You rolled your eyes. But a smile had crossed your face too, so you relented, just this once. “I said I’m sorry. For just ditching you back then. I should’ve been okay with the choices you made, even if they took—” You snapped your mouth closed real fast.

His eyes were nearly twinkling. “You’re not gonna finish that either? Nearly 10 years later and you still can’t admit that you cared for me?”

Brows furrowing, you turned to fully face him, a finger coming up to poke his chest. “I couldn’t admit my feelings? Are you actually being serious right now, John Suh?”

“You wouldn’t even tell me why you were so mad that I was leaving, just that it changed the future. What was I supposed to understand from that?”

“Are you saying that if I had told you I was in love with you, you would’ve stayed and gone to Northwestern with me like we planned?”

His face fell a little.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” You turned back to the bar, glad to have the break so you could take another sip of your wine.

You nearly jumped when Johnny’s hand brushed yours on the bartop.

“No, I wouldn’t have stayed. But we could’ve tried to work things out.”

You sighed.

This is not what you had signed on for. This was supposed to be a night out to meet a stranger and have a drink, not to open up wounds from the past. “Johnny,” you hesitated, took a breath. “I did tell you. I told you a lot that last year.”

His eyes went wide, mouth slightly falling open. “What are you talking about? When?”

A blush covered your cheeks. “Every time we got drunk and you kissed me.”

He looked like his eyes were going to pop out of his head. “What?” He pulled away, trying to think back to being 17 and 18 years old, getting drunk in your basement. Something seemed to click cause his eyes shut and he took a long swig of his beer. “I thought I made that up.” Another drink. “I thought I imagined the kissing and the confessions because I had gotten so drunk.”

You couldn’t help the laugh. With his eyes squeezed so tight, it was like he was trying to prevent them from falling out. “Nope, those were real. I thought you refusing to acknowledge or talk about it meant you didn’t actually feel that way.”

His eyes finally opened and he looked down at you, all soft and open and warm. “That explains why you had as much of a breakdown over it as you did.”

“I did not have a breakdown.” You felt indignant for all of 5 seconds before his eyes were calming you down again. “A tiny one, really. And like you said, totally justified. Mostly.”

He laughed then, and you felt like you could drown in it. You didn’t even know you could miss a sound so much.

Things were smooth from there. Johnny told you all about Korea and school, the friends he’d made, the jobs he’d worked. He told you about his two short, failed relationships, and about how he got the magazine job (“They liked my Instagram more than my portfolio!”). His parents were doing well, nearing retirement, and they were happy he was home (“My mom basically had a party the first night I was back, can you believe that?” Yes, you totally could.).

But then it wound around to you. You talked about school, how you’d decided to try California since you didn’t have a best friend for Northwestern anymore. You shared your horror stories from the part-time jobs you worked, and the excitement when you finally got hired as an intern at a publishing company when you’d moved back home after graduation. You’d worked your way up to assistant editor, and things were looking bright.

And then he asked the question you’d been hoping he wouldn’t know to ask.

“Now, I thought I had heard you were getting married.” You wanted to choke on your water. “But, no ring, you didn’t mention anyone, and you’re sitting at a bar alone on a Saturday night. What gives?”

A big sigh. You hated talking about this. But, maybe it would be nice to get it off your chest to someone who had never even known him and wouldn’t find some way to defend him. You gave Johnny a smile.

“Yes, I was engaged, almost two years ago. Things seemed good.” You shrugged. It wasn’t that you were sad about it, but the sting still felt fresh. “People tell me I worked too much and drove a wedge between us. Some people say they saw it coming a mile away. Which, if someone knows your partner is going to cheat on you, shouldn’t they tell you?” Johnny stiffened at that. You sighed again. “Some combination of us not being right, me working too many hours and not giving him enough attention, and him… not being ready to settle.” You looked over at Johnny, who sported a sweet frown and furrowed brow. “Honestly though, I don’t think we ever really loved each other.”

It felt like a boulder lifted off your shoulders. It was the first time you’d been able to get the words out. And you didn’t worry that Johnny would judge you.

His hand brushed over yours. “Why’d you say yes?”

“Cause I thought I had to. That’s what was expected of me after three years with someone.”

He nodded, but you could tell he didn’t really understand. Not that he needed to.

You let out a big breath and a giggle. The four glasses of wine were maybe starting to hit you now. But not too bad that you would regret your words tomorrow. “I don’t think I’ve loved anyone since you. You were the first boy I ever loved, and I don’t know that I’ll find someone worthy again.”

Johnny bloomed right in front of your eyes. His smile was blinding and his eyes soft, and you just wanted to bask in him for a bit longer.

But the bar was closing, and Johnny was offering you a ride home, and you accepted.

He walked you to your door, exchanged numbers, and promised to message soon so you could maybe have lunch. Before he could leave though, Johnny grabbed your hand.

“You know… I’ve never loved anyone but you either.”

His goodbye was a kiss to your forehead and a shy wave as he headed for the stairs.

————

You hadn’t even unlocked the door yet before Kara was calling. Her voice seemed exceptionally loud after the quiet goodbye from Johnny just a moment before.

“So? How was it? Did you have a good time? He’s cute, right?”

You laughed, sticking your key in your lock, and pushing your door open with your shoulder, just a bit wobbly. “He never showed.”

“What? What are you talking about?” She sounds absolutely scandalized. You’re sorry to ruin your friend’s (and her boyfriend’s) perception of this guy, but you weren’t going to lie to spare her feelings.

“He didn’t show up. I sat at the bar waiting for him until I was joined by an old friend. I kept an eye out, and no one ever came looking for me. Maybe you didn’t show him a good enough picture and he couldn’t recognize me.” You shrug even though she can’t see. Your shoes are kicked off by the door and you reach around to try to wiggle the zipper of your dress down.

“That—that doesn’t make any sense, YN.”

“I’m sorry babe, but that’s the truth.”

“But… YN he just told me he had a really nice time.”

You froze in the middle of your room, dress dropping from your shoulders. “What? But I didn’t talk to anyone else.”

“I swear. He texted me that he’d found you, that you shared drinks, and that you talked for hours.”

The both of you sat in silence for a moment, trying to process exactly what was happening.

“What’s your friend’s name? The guy you set me up with. You never told me his name.”

“His name is Johnny Suh.”

The noise that escaped you was halfway between a laugh and a sob.

“YN? Are you okay?”

“Hah, um…. I don’t know.”

“C’mon, talk to me. What’s going on?”

You ran a hand down your face, feeling hot and cold, and a little bit agitated. It would be just like him to pull something like this. “That’s who I was with. That’s my childhood friend.”

“Really?!” You pulled the phone away at her shrill voice. “Why didn’t he say anything? He recognized you? Why didn’t he say anything to me? I don’t understand...”

You laughed this time, finally moving toward your dresser to pull out pajamas. “Yeah, well that’s John Suh for you. He’s quite the enigma.”

She’s quiet, thinking over something quite hard. “What do you want me to do?”

“What do you mean?” You drop onto your bed, pulling your laptop open to search for his profile on your social media site. You’d got his number tonight, it was probably time to unblock him.

“He messaged me earlier, asking to set the two of you up for another date. What do you want me to do?”

You’d found his account. His profile picture was of him and his mom, and you couldn’t help the little smile that came to your face. After all these years, Johnny had been able to maintain a spot in your heart. Maybe you could give him the second chance you’d both been craving for so many years.

Even though the dork had just promised to set up a date while asking your best friend to do the same thing.

You let yourself smile more widely at the thought. “Yeah,” you said, closing your laptop and shoving it away. “Set us up.”

MASTERLIST

[searidings]

dude (gender neutral) ive spent the last few hours absolutely feral about the feelings “run the red out” had brought forth from my being. a few maximum damage moments:

- “Lena is her people, her person. Kara smiles at the man, slow and predatory. “Try me.” this quote literally hit so close to home, especially after yesterday’s ep with lena telling alex to tell her person. plus protective kara 🥵

- “Like, for example, the fact that she can’t stop touching Lena. She wants it, needs it like an insistent itch beneath her skin, addiction scratching through her veins.” this reminded me of a alex/sam+reign fic called “Don’t Close Your Eyes” by Promsie on Ao3 i definitely recommend it Reign had similar..trouble ;)

- “She was a weapon. They tried to turn her into— but what about us? Underneath the powers, what about us?” IM TAKING YOU TO COURT FOR EMOTIONAL DAMAGE U BASTARD /lovingly. that truth inducer scene where kara confessed her love is a joint filing

- “She never forgets Mikhail’s face. She still sees it in her nightmares. But the memories of his screams, of the burnt-out remains of his home, are joined now by memories of children smiling and laughing,”🥲 *whispers* stop

- “It wasn’t a one-time, Truth-Inducer-induced-only deal, you know. I told you I would keep telling you,” she says at Lena’s stunned silence. “Until you can believe it.” I saw the “i love you”, looked at how much of the story i had left and just kneww the angst train was coming 😃

- i cant even pick a quote to encompass all i felt about kara addressing her abandonment issues eleanor shellstrop im a legit snack meme totally cant relate to kara though

- “I want to. I want a record of you.” + “She fishes out the Polaroid camera Alex had given her last Christmas, invests in a few packs of film, and starts snapping.”= jail time, stop making me yearn dang nabb it

- “She follows Lena – at a frustratingly human pace – corners her at the end of the corridor and scoops her up....” before even getting here i was BegGing kar-bear to go after her cause all the straights™️ be like “i DidnT knOw tHat yoU wAnTed Me toO” looking at nick parker from parent trap DisRespectfully

- “Lena meets the children. They tug on the trailing belt of her winter coat, reach out stubby fingers to touch her silky hair. They’re enamoured by her, all of them, following her around as they stare wide-eyed and open-mouthed. Kara knows the feeling.” We’ve all been their for our favorite capitalist overlord gatekeeping girlboss 😌🤚

- “She’s very special, your girl,” he says, his strong accent rolling the words into something thick and warm and welcoming.” + “It’s not like I can’t afford it,” Lena mutters, embarrassed, ducking her head so her hair obscures her face as she confirms her account setup.” YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO COME INTO MY HOUSE WITH THIS!!! THE SOFT¡ THE tenDerNESSS!!! if you ever write a part two, can they adopt from this orphanage plz

- “We could take it back there,” just propose already jesus 🙄

- LITTLE DID I FREAKING KNOW HUHHHHH

- “She moves as you move.”  is a love language and no i will not take criticism

- “She pulls back after a moment to reach for a small box on her desk, which she presents to Kara with a tear-filled smile. “Hold on, and don’t let go.” even with the imPlicaTions i had not the imagination nor the hOpe to fully fathom how beautifully you would write it

- “Because the one thing they all have in common is that they all want you.” HOW DOES FEEL TO BE SO BIG BRAINED. all i could think about is ur young kara fic and the black mercy fic and now red daughter. just really makes me think of that post somewhere thats like “ i love fanfiction because i get to watch the same idiots fall in lover over and over again. in every universe, in every situation, they come together. against time, space, and any other obstacle- they beat the odds” anyway just wanted to say thank you for giving me that faye, i love your work

im. deceased