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darker-soft-starker · 4 years ago

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Starker High School AU Pt. 7 (1...6)

tw: general Howard Stark warning

----

So, here’s the thing.

Peter meant to ask May about the letter the night he got it back from Tony, He really did. But then everyone was in such a good mood, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter that to satisfy his own curiosity.

So then he meant to ask the next day.

And he tries, he really does.

But the letter feels as heavy as an anvil in his desk drawer and Peter is too nervous to ask about it. Something always comes up or he gets too scared to shatter the image of the good, obedient nephew he is, one who doesn’t go rifling through mail not addressed to him, prying into personal business.

So he flusters and stumbles pretty badly for the first couple attempts. He changes topic quickly, pretending like he was going to ask about something else, asking himself where exactly his business ends and where his curiosity begins.

Once during a gymnastics comp he stopped mid routine to check on a rival who had fallen from the rings and injured themselves. His coach asked when he was going to stop being a goddamn martyr.

He shakes the Magic 8-Ball on Monday morning and asks the universe if it’s an appropriate time to approach May.

Reply hazy, try again.

Well, that’s not what his flagging courage had hoped for. He shakes it again.

Ask again later.

One more time, harder.

Better not tell you now.

“What the hell,” he whispers, placing it haphazardly upon where he took it. “That’s bullshit.”

“What’s with the potty mouth,” May asks suddenly from behind him. He turns as she’s affixing some dangling earrings to her ears. “What’s wrong, kiddo?”

“Nothing,” he sighs. “Just - do you have a minute?”

She checks her watch. “I have about forty seconds. Is something wrong - are you okay?”

“No - I mean yes, I’m okay. Are...are you?”

“Top of the world, bubby,” she scoops her keys from the bowl, approaching him with a curious expression. “Why do you ask?”

There’s no easy way to ask without blatantly admitting to going through her things, and the last thing he wants her to think is that she can’t trust him.

“I just mean. If you weren’t. If there was something wrong, you would tell me, right?”

“Of course,” her face falls. “You’re acting strange, Pete.”

“I just worry, that’s all.”

You’re all I have left, is what loops over and over in his mind, but doesn’t say. She seems to hear it anyway, rushing forward and kissing his forehead, her perfume filling his nose.

��Everything is fine, bubs. The second it isn’t, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Okay.”

“I gotta go, but stop worrying okay? That’s my job. You have a good day.”

She hurries to scoop up her handbag and closes the door before he’s broken out of his thoughts long enough to reply. He sighs and shakes the stupid ball again before he leaves as well.

Cannot predict now.

Of course.

Just for once he’d like fate to be firmly on his side.

---

Something smells weird.

It’s sharp, chemical and not entirely unpleasant. Noticeable, however, sharp enough to cut through the usual musty smell of the library. It’s like apple cider, but overpowers the usual library smell of old books and dust and pencil shavings, a scent Peter has long associated with study, solitude, and the easing of his anxious heart from a gallop to a steady stride.

It’s not a bad smell, just misplaced.

And Tony’s been acting strange all study period. Like, weirder than normal - and his resting state of normal is already ineffably frenetic and bewildering, so this was an entirely different carton of eggs.

Peter doesn’t exactly want to bring it up, they’re kind of on a tenuously peaceful truce, a silent lay down of arms, so to speak.

Well, as peaceful as a truce can be while they call each other all sorts of names and rib each other over literally any sign of weakness, but still. They have some sort of an understanding now, and it’s all relatively innocent, good natured banter.

Mostly.

Peter for sure could have done without being called fuck-face-mcgee upon entering the library, but he’s willing to let it pass. He was late, after all.

“Anyway,” Peter says, sitting across the table from Tony, “so I think if we removed the monthly gym membership, we’d have an extra sixty per month that could go towards other stuff.”

“Like what?” Tony’s face pinches.

“I don’t know, like a college fund?”

“Ridiculous idea. I need that membership,” Tony rebukes, shrugging his leather jacket off, hooking it over the back of the chair. “When else am I supposed to get a reprieve from you and the cabbage patch?”

“When do I get a reprieve? I’m the money-maker. When do I get my break from work and childcare?”

“At work. What are you, like an art teacher or something? Your whole day is like a rich, white woman's vacation. Parents don’t get a lunch break.”

“Right. I’m sure watching Dora and burping an infant is as hard as teaching a class of thirty.”

“Wow. So dismissive. I mean, if you were a good spouse, you would give your withered and weary husband a break from screaming babies and shitty diapers.”

“Mhmm. That would mean I’d have to do something nice for you, and that doesn’t sound like me.”

Tony shakes his head. “We’re getting a divorce as soon as Molly is old enough to pick me as the superior parent,” he points to Peter’s papers. “Put that in the notes.”

Peter closes his eyes and sighs, willing himself not to lean over the table and smack the other boy.

“You are not the superior parent. You’re the deadbeat that forgets to pick her up from school and day drinks.”

“And yet, she loves me the most. You’re just the breadwinner who comes home grumpy every evening. I’m the cool dad.”

“Fine, keep your druglord baby. I never wanted kids anyway.”

“Fine. I’m keeping the car.”

“I’m keeping the apartment.”

“Good.”

“Great.”

They snicker quietly in a rare moment of camaraderie before a lightbulb goes off in Peter's head.

“What if we used the membership, but cut costs elsewhere, like, cutting our own hair and stuff. We could save for a yearly holiday, go to the beach or something.”

“Florida! Disney, roadtrip, yes,” Tony clicks his fingers towards Peter, smiling wide. “Look at you getting all savvy. Call the judge, the marriage is back on.”

“You can’t go to Disney for a few hundred dollars, dumbass, that’s barely the price of admission,” Peter scribbles on his pad, making note of their ideas. “You ever been?”

“Nope.”

“Really?”

“Not even once.”

“That’s surprising. Isn’t that where all rich white people take their baby sociopaths to beat up their first mascot?”

“One, I was never a baby, I emerged fully grown, and two, could you imagine Howard Stark within a mile of the happiest place on earth? He’d have a fucking stroke,” his face changes like he’s had an epiphany. “Not a bad idea, actually.”

Peter doesn’t mention that he doesn’t personally know Howard Stark but is willing to take Tony’s assessment at face value. That being said, he can’t imagine Tony, now, voluntarily heading to Disney without coercion or the promise of copious quantities of alcohol. He’d probably smoke and cuss and scare away small children.

He mind lingers on that particular characterisation, and for a moment tries to picture what Tony looked like as a kid, if he was a chubby, toothless little brat, can’t help then imagining him with Mickey Mouse ears, gleefully running through his gigantic home, harried caretakers running after him.

He must have been the worst.

“I’ve never been further than Washington,” Peter offers, “but that was for AcDec, so it wasn’t like we got to see much.”

“You did Academic Decathlon?”

“Yep.”

“Ew, why would you do that to yourself.”

“I still do it. It looks good on college applications and it’s fun,” he shrugs. “I like it. I’m good at it.”

Tony’s hands cover his mouth, but it doesn’t stifle the rising apple of his cheeks or the mirth in his voice.

“I’m feeling so much second-hand embarrassment for you right now.”

“Shut up,” Peter huffs, kicking him under the table, satisfied when the other boy winces. He fails to smother his own wince when he gets a kick in return, right in the kneecap. “Nothing wrong with being an intellectual.”

“You’re a fucking nerd, four-eyes.”

“What about you?” Peter rolls his eyes, keen to change the subject. “Been outside New York?”

Tony shrugs, tapping his pen on the pad, looking anywhere but at him. “When I was younger I’d sometimes go on my dad's business trips to Europe or Japan or whatever. And we have a house in Malibu.”

“That sounds awesome.”

Tony snorts. He shuffles on his seat, sliding their notes over and making further amendments in quick strokes, the cheap pen spurting bright red ink over the paper like arterial spray.

“Oh yeah, it was a real blast.”

Spoiled brat.

“Are you going anywhere for Thanksgiving?”

“With my family?” Tony looks up. “No, I’d rather stick my head up a turkey’s ass. You?”

Without warning, Peter’s hand flies to cover his mouth, unable to but snort at the imagery, He’s not sure if Tony just doesn’t get along with his family or if he’s still stuck in that churlish, ‘too cool to be around my parents’ stage of adolescence. It’s one the idiosyncrasies that would have annoyed Peter before, his ungratefulness of having a family that’s still alive would be just another thing for Peter to hate him for.

Now, he thinks, he’s beginning to parse out when Tony’s being sincere and when he’s hyperbolic, finally recognising the latter as a mechanism to throw someone off a topic that makes Tony uncomfortable. He sees it - the warning lights and stop signs in barbed coding, wrapped up in dry wit and sarcasm.

Peter is like that sometimes, too.

And what the hell would Peter know about having a normal family.

“Yeah, actually, for once,” he says softly. “My aunt - not May - and uncle have a holiday home up north, so we’re staying with them over the long weekend.”

“S’cool. May’s family?”

Peter shakes his head. “Sort of - they’re not actually related, but May and Margaret have been best friends since college, so.”

“Is Margaret a babe, too?”

Peter throw a chewed-up pencil at him that he catches easily.

“Don’t be gross.”

“I’m not,” he throws the pencil back, overshooting and hitting the shelves behind them. “What are we talking, on a scale of haggard to hottie.”

“I don’t know, man. You seem to have questionable taste in the people you are attracted to.”

Tony grins crookedly, eyes shining with something Peter can’t decipher. “Ain't that the truth.”

“What’s the supposed to --” he stops himself, suddenly recognising what the strange scent was that he’d been picking up. “Wait - dude, are you wearing cologne?”

Tony’s mouth opens and closes a few times before he responds. “No,” he denies, just as the bell rings. “Oh, look at that, time to get to class.”

Saved by the bell.

“So, this is it,” Tony nods, shutting the lid of his laptop as the bell signals the end of their free period. “We’re done. The assignment. That’s the last of it, right?”

Dazedly, he watches Tony stuffing his laptop and notes into his backpack, brow creasing as his mind catches up.

“Uh, yeah. I guess.”

“Send me your notes tonight, I’ll stitch them together with mine and send them back.”

“Okay,” he sluggishly collects his own notes, picking up the bag by his feet. “That’s - that’s good.”

“Well, Parker,” Tony slings his backpack on his shoulder, shuffling backwards, “we didn’t kill each other. I mean, not for a lack of wanting on my behalf.”

‘’Yeah, from Wednesday we’re free. We can go back to normal.”

“Yeah,” Tony’s grin fades. They stare at each other for a long moment that could have been seconds or hours, he doesn’t know, until the second bell rings.

“Hey, um --”

“I’ll send you the notes later,” Tony interrupts, sotto voce. “I gotta get to class. See you around.”

Something in his stomach deflates, sadly and slowly, like a balloon with a pinprick, emptying itself until it’s an uncomfortably hard to digest crumpled mass at the base of his stomach. He pastes on a smile and looks out the window, hoping the feeling doesn’t show in his eyes.

That’s when he notices the leather jacket Tony has left behind, still slung over the back of the chair.

“You left your…” he trails off, turning back, but Tony is already long gone, probably already halfway to his next class. Like a bat out of hell, Peter thinks wryly, picking up the jacket, the leather smooth like butter under his touch, still warm around the collar where Tony’s had been leaning against it.

No good leaving it here to get stolen or be tossed into lost property. He decides to take it with him, folding it gently over his arm. He’ll give it back when he sees him again, maybe after school.

“Nice jacket, Parker,” Flash says approvingly when Peter bumps into him out in the hall.

At first he thinks he’s referring to Peter’s ratty hoodie, and it confounds him for a moment because it’s decidedly not nice, but then he realizes he’s referring to the leather in his arms.

“It’s not mine,” he replies a little too late, because Flash is already down the hall, out of earshot.

Peter sighs. It’s beginning to become a depressing theme.

---

The weird feeling in his chest doesn’t subside all afternoon, and into the evening Peter is starting to think maybe he just has indigestion, like acid reflux or something. Must be the chilli surprise from lunch. Maybe he’d missed his meds.

He sends his portion of the final notes to Tony’s email, turns off his computer and switches on Colbert.

---

It’s not until hours later, well after midnight and the infomercials are playing, only then does his phone buzz against his thigh with a response.

Figures that Tony would be a night owl like him.

> soz was distracted > youtube spiral

Peter shifts downwards on the bed, holding the phone over his face. < s’ok < what were you watching > say yes to the dress < lmao really > lol no > anyway, looks good. ur notes > will print off for u to sign tomorrow < is that a compliment or an admission u were wrong about me

> neither. One subject does not a genius make > unlike me, an actual genius

In your dreams, dipshit, he wants to type, but doesn’t, not really keen to provoke a muddy discussion on who is the smartest (it’s definitely Peter).

< u left ur jacket in the library btw, I have it, he texts instead, his pulse jumping when Tony replies with crying emoji’s.

Tony sends him a snap, unexpectedly, a sad face that makes Peter snort. His face seems distressed, the caption reads, thought i lost it for good.

Shifting down further on the bed, he’s feeling suddenly and inexplicably courageous, fire burning up from his belly button to his fingers.

Peter takes a silly photo of himself and sends it back. > didn’t want it to get stolen < aw u care

“I do not,” he whispers to himself. > i do not. come collect it after school tomorrow or im throwing it out. < u wouldn’t do that to me > there’s a lot of things i would do 2 u > .... > um > lol

Peter’s face flames at the implication. He reads over what he just so carelessly typed, stomach positively knotted with embarrassment. Oh god, that is not what he meant. His fingers fly over the screen at record speed as he types out a response. < NOT LIKE THAT < I MEANT IT IN A THREATENING WAY < I’M LITERALLY GAGGING > yikes > ur dirty talk needs work < no it DOESN’T bc we’re not sexting > sure jan > damn. didn’t kno u had it in u bubs < i don’t have it in me > not yet > ;)

Despite the deep blush still heating his face and his heart galloping in his chest, a laugh breaks out of him. The phone in his hand vibrates again. > jk jk, not ever > need to bleach my brain now

Slowly gliding back to earth he types out a response. < ikr me too < ugh.

He puts his phone down on the bed, looking up at the water-stained ceiling, amusement slowly fading. His pulse though, that doesn’t return to normal.

How could it when his mind suddenly runs away from him, evoking short-lived, but nonetheless strikingly vivid images of intertwined legs, planes of pale skin, and lush lips. How can the heat in his stomach escape when his thoughts conjure phantom sensations of a soft mouth sucking on his neck, the punishing grip of hands on his hips and the warmth and weight of another body on top of his own.

A forehead leaning against his, brown eyes that knocked his pulse off kilter.

The taste of nicotine.

Stop it.

That is dangerous territory right there. And a line he doesn’t want to cross.

Shaking his head, Peter swings his legs over the side of the bed and sits up, looking anywhere for a distraction; his window, the posters on his wall, his figurines on his shelves, anything to douse the low-burning fire in his gut.

Standing, he heads to the bathroom to get ready for bed, banging their crappy old heater with his fist to get it working again.

He takes a very cold shower.

----

It’s not that Peter doesn’t enjoy sex.

Not that he’s had it.

But he enjoys jerking off, at least. Like a regular amount, whatever that is for a teenage boy. He likes kissing. Likes thinking about one day being in a real relationship and exploring someone's body and he likes exploring what turns him on and what he doesn’t.

It’s just that he doesn’t let himself think of anyone he knows personally that way, no matter how conventionally attractive they are - not Thor, and especially not him.

Typically, his fantasies are people with vague features, sometimes with bodies like those he has seen in porn, all shapes and sizes. And that’s safe for him.

He doesn’t want to have to look anyone he knows in the eye and wonder what their lips would feel like pressed against his own. If they’re any good at kissing. If they’re the type to take control or cede it.

He does wonder, sometimes though. No matter how much he denies what or who he wants.

Because it doesn’t matter if it’s a person or a thing. Want is never superficial in his experience, it doesn’t feel good most of the time. It’s deep and sometimes dark, it sinks itself into him with its hooks and it tugs, and keeps tugging. It yields to craving and yearning.

Back in his bedroom, his eyes land on his wall-mounted mirror. It’s small. Like the Mona Lisa. Small enough that he doesn’t have to see his whole reflection if he doesn’t want to.

He doesn’t want to crave and yearn for anybody, because he knows it will always be one sided. He’s well aware that he isn’t exactly centrefold material.

Who is gonna look at his weird ears or thin lips, and think, shit, that’s the guy of my dreams. Not with his big glasses or the way his hair twists itself into frizzy, unruly curls once the gel wears off and he starts looking like an unkempt labradoodle.

Who would want to wake up next to him? No one.

So it’s better not to risk imagining anyone real. It’s only in his head that anyone could ever want him back.

His eyes go from the mirror to the jacket folded and placed on his desk. It was intended to be plain sight so he remembers to bring it in - out of sight, out of mind, is what Ben would say. He can still smell the cologne Tony denied wearing earlier.

Once he’s in bed, he turns to face the wall.

Out of sight, out of mind.

---

Maybe Tony subscribes to that mantra as well.

Peter forgets to bring the jacket in all week and Tony doesn’t ask.

---

Danvers wants him fit and ready to be harpooned into the mud by next week; that’s why she looks the other way when Thor and Peter take their informal training in the boundaries of the field, stretching out on the grass as the JV team runs their usual morning drills - drills Peter would have been a part of before his stupid injury and his stupid wrist-brace.

This school is stupid too. Now he has to pay to see a doctor so he can get medically cleared for a sport he doesn’t really care that much about.

Like he didn’t have enough medical bills to deal with.

In any case, he’s not really in a position to complain, because he has the opportunity now to run through his warm-up with Thor, who is taking his direction to spread his legs into a butterfly position so beautifully, even as his knees raise from the ground to make a v-shape, whereas Peter’s lie flat on the grass.

If the last few days had been different, he might have blushed and used the situation at hand as an opening to place his hands on Thor’s knees and applied pressure. But now he just smiles encouragingly and reminds himself that he has no chance - no place - and his hands do not belong anywhere but his own body.

And surprisingly enough, he’s okay about it all.

Thor was a good guy. Peter will never say no to having more friends.

It’s a dreadful, bitter morning. Icy cold, wind biting into his shirt, the grass below them is damp. He has to keep rubbing his hands together so he can restore feeling in his fingers.

To make things worse, Tony is back on the bleachers. White v-neck, jeans and dark sunglasses. Sprawled out over a set of steps, legs askew, arms behind his head, unmoving as if he were napping or sunbathing, appearing like a cocky main out of an eighties movie.

Or a king surveying his kingdom.

Rhodes and Potts slouch on either side of him, swapping phones over his idle figure, taking pictures and laughing amongst themselves.

“It burns,” Thor says lightly, hands on his thighs in an attempt to aim his knees to touch the ground.

“Yeah,” Peter agrees, despite the ease in which he can lean in. “It just takes practice, dude. Twenty minutes a day, warm up and don’t over-do it. You’ll be limber in no time.”

“You can do this better than I can,” Thor argues, accent thick as he tries to lie flat like Peter.

“And you can lift a hundred pounds better than I can,” he tries to rebut, even as they switch positions, hip flexors aching with old injuries.

While the stretches are like second nature, he doesn’t miss the pressure of training for competition. The eagerness to get into a flat butterfly or oversplit. There was no argument that he spent nights on crunches back then, and he was somewhat toned - but he was shit at weight training. He hated lifting. Reps were more boring, more tedious and difficult and the diet required to give them any value was frankly not worth giving up a great hotdog or a loaded sub from Delmars. He wouldn’t go back to it now.

None of that old heat is there when he inspects Thor’s form. That quick simmer, the call to be closer. That terrible thing, want. All but gone. awe is still there, as he suspects it always would be with someone as outstanding as Thor, but the butterflies have very much flown away.

As he suspected would be the case. He has someone and they’re happy. With the cat out of the bag Thor had shown Peter pictures of his boyfriend all morning. He’d gotten a puppy, apparently, which just tickled Thor. He was so happy it was almost sickening.

When is it gonna be him that sickens someone with photo’s of his partner?

“Hey, Parker,” Tony yells from the stands, “you suck!”

Looking over, the idiot is raised on his elbows and grinning, like he’s proud of himself for a spectacularly unoriginal insult.

Rolling his eyes, Peter gives him the finger and he gets one in return.

His stomach twists and he has to duck his head to conceal his smile.

“Your husband is somewhat rude,” Thor says, following Peter’s example and switching from a pike to a lunge.

Peter looks back over to the stands. A cigarette now dangles between Tony’s full lips, sunglasses slid to the tip of his nose.

That’s how Peter knows he’s looking at him too.

Even from afar his eyes are round and mirthful, framed with ridiculously long lashes like a cartoon mouse, far too outlandish for any real person to have.

“He’s the absolute worst,” Peter bites his bottom lip, quickly averting his gaze. “It was an arranged marriage, to be fair.”

---

Wednesday comes and goes.

Their assignment gets handed in, Peter signs it off to say he did his fair portion of the work and Miss Ahn beams at the both of them when she is handed the thick binder, looking all too pleased with herself.

They have a presentation of their work next week, after Thanksgiving, each pair expected to give five minutes of their life pretending that they’re passionate about schoolwork in front of their fellow students who don’t care.

After that they are completely unburdened. No study sessions, no car rides, and no fries dipped in milkshakes.

They’re embarrassingly hailed as a prime example of people working through their differences, as if they had come together and were now friends or something.

From the front row Tony sneaks a furtive glance at Peter when she applauds them to the class.

“See, kids,” she says, “it wasn’t so bad working together, was it?”

Their eyes meet briefly.

“Zero out of ten, would not do again,” Tony declares, brash and loud, kicking his combat boots onto his desk in a leisurely display.. “That guy is the human equivalent of watching paint dry. Awful.”

“Oh, come on,” she chides. “Be nice.”

Not one to be outdone, Peter lets his horse out of the gate too.

“Singular worst experience of my life. I once had a root canal without anaesthetic and it was less painful than working with him.”

“Alright, boys, that’s enough out of you,” Miss Ahn sighs deeply, walking to the front of the room. “Mr Lang, how did you find the assignment?”

“Very informative…”

From the front row Tony turns in his seat and winks at him.

----

“Thanksgiving plans?” Natasha asks, leaning beside his locker, smothering a smile as he struggles to get his locker open for the nth time that day with one functional hand.

“Visiting my Aunt and Uncle,” he says, finally prying the damn thing open. “They’ve got a place up at Otisco Lake, so. Probably watching old movies and swimming all weekend.”

“Oof,” his friend winces. “That’s a trip. Think the May-Mobile will make the distance?”

The May-Mobile of course to the ancient, ‘89 Volvo 240 that May has been driving ever since Peter was born. She adores it and refuses to trade in, despite the fact that it rarely gets driven, practically haemorrhages gas, and has cost more in repairs in the last five years than the actual value of the car. But May really loves it. It's sentimental. She says it was the car Ben and her picked out together.

“It better make it,” he dumps his books in, closing the locker. “I don’t want to spend the weekend waiting for AAA in the middle of nowhere. What’s your plans?”

She shrugs, walking with him down the hall.

“Probably go and annoy Yelena. Was supposed to spend it with Bucky and his mom, but that ain't happening.”

He bumps her shoulder sympathetically. “Do you think you two will get back together?”

“Probably. But he’s got a shitload of grovelling to do first.”

“Don’t maim him, please. We need him on the team.”

“No promises.”

“Speak of the devil,” Peter adjusts his glasses, spotting Bucky at the base of the stairs talking to somebody. He gets startled, heart jumping when Natasha grabs him by the waist, pushing him towards the wall and inching them closer to the stairs.

“What are you --”

“ -- Shh, I want to listen. Who is he talking to?”

Craning his head, he finds himself in for another surprise when he sees that the other person he’s talking to is --

“He’s… he’s talking to Stark - what...?”

She shushes him again and Peter listens, curious now too.

“... what do you want, Barnes?” Tony visibly grimaces, taking a cigarette from his pocket and tucking it behind his ear. “Make it quick. I got places to be and your noxious stench gives me headaches.”

An announcement goes off over the loudspeaker over their head, calling for Brendon Bennett, a dick of a senior, to move his car from where he has blocked a teacher from leaving. It would be funny at any other time, but as it goes, he misses a chunk of their conversation.

“...Rogers isn’t the boss of me.”

“Yes, he is, and I’m not getting suspended again because you’re a pussy and he has roid-rage.”

“I just need an ETA. C’mon, pal, I really need this.”

“I’m not your pal and I don’t give a flying fuck what you need.”

Ever the easy going guy, Bucky puts his hands up placatingly as a group of students file down the stairs, causing enough noise that Peter misses whatever is said next. As he strains to hear he tries to draw the line between the dots, but comes up short on exactly how these two are connected.

“That fucker,” Natasha mutters near his ear.

By the time the students clear, Tony’s descended the stairs and begun to walk away

“I have better things to do than to sit around and wait for you,” Bucky calls out, giving him the finger.”

“And yet you will.”

Not in any possible lifetime was Peter going to address that he was weirdly relieved that Tony didn’t flip him off in return, some part of him petulantly thinking that’s our thing, but that’s wrong - Peter and Tony are not friends and they do not have things, even when they do, it’s not like a thing thing.

Nat grips his hand and pulls him along when Bucky leaves as well, swiftly walking away to avoid being caught. His backpack jostles at the speed and he realizes he’s still clutching Tony's jacket from where he had retrieved it from his locker.

“What was that about?” He asks, struggling to keep up with his friend's furious pace as he’s led down the hall. “Tash?”

She drops his hand once they are outside, her disapproval near palpable, voice laden with fire and fury.

“That’s Bucky being a world class idiot, he’s gonna get himself expelled, I swear.”

Peter stops on the spot.

“Expelled?”

Something dark curls unpleasantly in his gut, heavy and not leaving.

“They have a thing,” she explains hotly, mouth turning down. “Bucky and Stark.”

“What?” Peter breathes, uncomfortably thinking back to the party and the way Bucky overtly complimented Tony’s body. “Like a.... like a sex thing? Did he cheat on you?”

“What? No.”

“Then what?”

Red strands whipping in the wind, his friend looks around to see if there is anyone nearby before leaning in to speak low. He leans in too, unabashedly curious.

“Do you remember when Bucky was having issues with his parents when school started?”

He nods, thinking back to the times Bucky slept over in the late days of summer and early weeks of the school year, once or twice a week to get away from the shouting in his own home.

Natasha continues.

“Don’t tell him I told you this, but he got really depressed and fell behind with his work and everything he was handing in was terrible. Danvers pulled him up and said if he didn’t get his grades up, he’d be risking his spot on the team. So Bucky paid Stark to write up a few assignments for him, apparently he was doing it for a few kids, like it was a thing.”

...Okay.

That was not good, and definitely disappointing, but -

“Rogers found out. He gave Bucky a warning, but with Stark he threatened to go to Fury.”

Peter thinks back to the fight between their captain and Stark and their fight not long ago. “That’s why they…”

“I’m told Stark snapped, but I don’t know. I found out about the whole paper thing after that and me and Buck fought about it. I just got so mad - he’s - he’s not stupid, you know?”

“I know.”

She exhales heavily through her nose. “He’s going to get himself kicked out of school and I’m so -- I could kill him. We’re supposed to graduate together and get away from our families and go to college, and then he does this.”

“I’m sorry, Tash, I didn’t know,” he hugs her, her body going stiff before relaxing in his hold. “That’s shitty. For both of you.”

“I’m sorry for thinking you were in on the loop.”

He smiles, self-deprecating.

“Nope, I’m as clueless as ever.”

“No, you’re just too good for that,” she shakes her head. “Look, I gotta go and blow off some steam. Please don’t tell anybody about all this.”

“I won't, I swear - but text me later, alright? Let me know you’re okay.”

She ruffles his hair before stepping back.

“You’re a bleeding heart, PP. Keep an eye on that, will you?”

Hearing a squeal of tyres, he whips his head around to the parking lot, the source of the noise. The Firebird squeals out of the lot and onto the road, the sound as angry, the glimpse Peter gets of Tony’s face, even angrier.

He turns back to Nat, but she’s already walked away. Which means she isn’t there to hear him mutter to himself.

“What are you getting into, Tony?”

----

His thumbs hover over his phone that night, as he writes i saw u with barnes today.

He quickly deletes that, not wanting Tony to think that he was following him or spying on him - or worse, thinking that Peter actually cares about what he does. He doesn’t. They’re not friends.

A dread settles in the spaces between his ribs, like thread trying to squeeze them together too tight, his lungs feeling compressed. Maybe it’s his asthma, or allergies.

It’s not and he knows it. He’s disappointed.

He rubs at his chest on his way home thinking about the scene they just saw and about what Natasha said. How is it that so many people in his orbit had this entire entanglement going on without Peter having any whiff of it? It really makes him wonder if they were they good at hiding it or was he just really fucking stupid. Stupid enough to think Bucky was doing okay, that Rogers wasn’t as sanctimonious as he appeared to be, and that Tony was --

Nevermind.

It’s none of his business and it’s not his place.

He knows better than to ask. It’s not as if he can forget all his own secrets that he clutches tightly to his chest, so tight it feels like he constantly walks through life with his fists clenched.

That and, like May, the real truth is that he can’t claim any entitlement to their trust. He eavesdropped in more ways than one these last two weeks. He tries to brush off that dry, sobering thought; it’s none of his business anyway and he has enough on his plate without getting involved.

When are you going to stop being such a goddamned martyr.

So then he thinks about the sheer fury on Tony’s face, how his - how he used to look at Peter the same way, and how Peter used to think that angry and bitter was Tony's default mood. That was that. The status quo.

Well, that wasn’t entirely fair, was it. It was easier to dislike Tony when he was distant enough that Peter could pigeon-hole him into a stereotype.

Because Tony got into fights, sure, countless and petty, but he was the guy who pet puppies and snuck them food under the table. Not the guy who kicked them.

He looked like the puppy that was kicked, though.

Not angry.

Wounded.

And that’s what confuses Peter. Turns out he doesn’t really know anything about his friends.

Or Tony, it would seem.

----

May closes the drivers-side door and throws a packet of snacks into Peter’s face.

“Pretzels.”

“Yeah, I can see that,” he adjusts his glasses where they'd been knocked askew.

“Sorry, I thought your reflexes were better,” she says, and by way of apology, lobs a packet of sour gummies more gracefully on his lap. “Your favorite.”

“Apology accepted.”

From a plastic bag she fishes out two cokes and places them in the centre console, a bag of red licorice and crackers follow, also making their way onto his lap. She always buys too much food.

Then they’re turning back onto the highway that leads them out of where they paused at Monticello, the radio jacked up loud enough to be heard over the tiny droplets of raindrops sporadically hitting the windshield.

They’ve left early enough that it’s still dark.

Fog still hangs low on the roadside, intangible pale wisps that seem to disintegrate upon crossing, the road dotted with other travellers, but not too crowded, enough so they can easily cruise the speed limit and sometimes over. The Bangles play on a cassette tape and, tapping her fingers on the steering wheel, May looks so carefree, driving her sentimental car with the noisy engine, singing along to the same cassettes she’s had since she was his age.

Peter can’t bring himself to say what he wants to. About the letters. One in particular. He knows something isn't right but who is he to break the peace?

So, he doesn’t and they keep driving.

The fog lifts and the tunes continue, both of them singing familiar tunes from ABBA to George Michael and Peter let’s go of what he can’t control and loses himself in the buoyancy of nostalgia - neither of them can carry a tune for shit and it’s funny, and when he rolls his window down he sticks his hand out to feel the frigid air, it’s the most free he’s felt in a long time.

Football and his after-school duties and everything else just drifts away with the wind, at least for this moment.

It was like when he was a kid. The route itself is mostly dark and dull, and this time without Ben, but their usual car games of ‘dollar every time you spot a windmill’ and ‘how many minutes until the next town’ are fun and easily pass the time. This will be another memory that he will gloss over with fondness, how even the boring roads will seem like rapture.

When the sky starts to turn from black to grey they stop for early breakfast at a diner just slightly off their trail in Windsor, both of them famished despite the hoard of snacks and in dire need of coffee.

The car is beginning to emit pale plumes of smoke from under the hood as they arrive at Davis Grove, Otisco Lake in the early morning. The sun rises low over the horizon, a slow ascent that turns the sky grey and brushes wriggling streaks of color over the lake.

The house is exactly as Peter remembers it.

Panels painted slate blue, brown-tiled roof. Two-storeys with a wrap-around porch and a private dock only a short distance away from the entrance. A swinging chair on the lawn that comfortably fits three and a half people.

It looks exactly as it did when Peter first came here as a kid, plucked straight out of his memories in perfect form, like it was set in a liminal space that time refused to touch. A piece comes back to his being at this moment, something that he didn’t know was missing.

Aunt Margaret is already standing at the door when the pull up. She doesn’t look a day older than when Peter last saw her years ago.

“Oh, look at you,” she coos, wrapping Peter up in a tight hug, curls brushing his cheek, “my darling little Petey-pie.”

“Hey, Aunt Margaret,” he returns the hug.

“You’re so tall now, let me look at you,” she holds him at arm's length, warm eyes roving over his form. “Oh my goodness, haven’t you grown a handsome young man? Last time we met you only came up to my shoulders and had braces.” She turns her attention to May. “Isn’t he handsome?”

His aunt nods, smiling at them, both women gravitating into a tight embrace. “It’s good to see you, Peggy. Thanks for having us.”

“Our pleasure. You look even more beautiful than the last time.”

“Oh, stop,” May releases her, wiping at her eyes. “Look who’s talking.”

She tilts her head to the porch and takes May’s duffle from where she has dropped it to the ground. “Come on you two, inside. We’ve got the fire going and scrambled eggs on the table.”

Inside it smells like the best parts of his childhood. A burning fire and butterscotch and lingering musky-but-floral scent from the bowl of potpourri high on the mantel. Even the sounds are the same, the same coo of early birds in the burgeoning daylight, someone humming by the stove.

Margaret leads them into the living room, where her husband meets them halfway from the kitchen, oven mitts still on his hands when he spreads his arms wide to welcome them.

“My goodness,” he beams, “look what the cat dragged in.”

He wears a cravat at the same time he wears an apron, looking every bit the formal yet whimsical man Peter remembers him to be and a crushing wave of nostalgia comes over him so suddenly he can’t help but rush forward and embrace him.

“Welcome, Peter. It’s so good to have you here.”

“Thanks for having us, Uncle Ed.”

“What have you taught him,” he points his query to May as he releases Peter to hug her. “You know you can call me Jarvis.”

---

Margaret ‘Peggy’ Carter and Edwin Jarvis had been young twenty-somethings when they first met. Both were born in England before moving to the US, but it wasn’t until they met at Margaret’s first college that their paths crossed. They worked in different departments, Peter thinks Ed was an engineer or something and Margaret an analyst, but the universe pulled them together eventually.

Margaret asked Ed out first and then a year later, May was the maid-of-honor at their wedding and Ben was reportedly a teary guest in the squeaky church pews.

And the rest, as they say, was history.

A photo of that day sits framed upon the mantle. May and Margaret have their arms around each other, Uncle Ben and Ed standing awkwardly at the sides of the frame, holding up flutes of champagne.

They look so young. Happy.

Peter observes the photo, smiling. He would have been a baby back then. Before his parents and Ben had -- well.

His mind does these weird calculations sometimes. Like, the May in this photo is only nine or so years older than how old he is now, and this moment, suspended in time, makes them closer than they have ever been, even though in real life they are over twenty years apart.

Looking at this picture, it makes him wonder how many people he knows now will live full lives and die of old age. How many people his age will stay forever young, and who will be in the future looking back at their time now, wistfully staring at pictures of those who only exist suspended in that time.

It’s funny, being a teenager. His peers are too young to die so they assume they won't. Even in their twenties and thirties or forties, death seems like an elusive thing that doesn’t apply to anybody until it does. It’s for the decrepit, the sick.

But in Peter’s case death comes like poorly aimed darts, always landing badly and scoring low. In his pockets, his hands turn in fists. He hopes the three people left alive in this picture get to grow old.

He smells her perfume before he sees her. Margaret approaches, bumping their hips together.

“This was a nice day,” she says softly, wistful. “I wish we’d kept more contact over these last few years.”

“Me too,” he smiles sadly, her expression reflecting his. With a hand on his back she leads him to the couch.

“Come on, munchkin, come sit. Tell me how you have been.”

---

“We weren’t planning on the big dinner,” Uncle Ed says as he finishes peeling a potato, handing it to Peter once he’s done. “But we’re so glad you two joined us. Neither of us have a lot of family here, you know.”

“Us neither,” Peter runs the peeled potato under running water to rid it of dirty residue before chopping it into quarters. “It’s really nice to see you again, it’s been way too long.”

“You really have grown into such a nice young man,” the man smiles. “Ben would be proud. Your parent’s, too.”

“Thank you.”

They haven’t got together like this since Ben died a couple years back. It wasn’t really anyone’s fault. Shit happened and it got harder to try. May got busier with looking after Peter full time and working more - and Uncle Ed quit his job and opened up a garage and Margaret lost a baby - all at the same time.

It was a lot for everyone. Even college best friends moved apart when fate put up walls at every turn.

It seems everyone in his circle is just does their best to survive. Or maybe that’s just what growing up is.

The remainder of their morning is spent eyeing the oven and skedaddling while Margaret prepares her pecan pie, ejecting them out of the kitchen with a forceful shoo.

“May says you’re playing football,” Ed says, leading him out to the lounge, passing him a can of soda. “How’d that happen? Last I checked you were doing splits over a pommel horse.”

Peter shrugs, tapping his can with his fingernails, idly paying attention to the football on the old TV. “Needed an extra-curricular, there was an opening and for some reason they accepted me.”

“You were so good at gymnastics,” Margaret comments from the kitchen, whisking away at her bowl. “I’m sure you’re exemplary in anything you do. They’re lucky to have you.”

“Yeah,” Peter says, sculling back the rest of his drink, bubbles burning down his throat. “Looks good on college applications in any case.”

“This kid,” May points to him with her beer bottle. “He does it all, I don’t even know how. He’s brilliant.”

I could do more, he thinks. He wonders again in that moment what it is that makes him so deficient that May couldn’t rely on him to accept the truth about their situation, that maybe he was just too naive. But he’s not. He’d drop his after-school activities and get a job in a hot second if he thought it would help. And for just a split-second he’s mad about that, about being kept in the dark.

But then he sees the strain around her eyes, how the bottle in her hands trembles ever so slightly, how much she makes the hard world soft around them. And it’s easy for him to let that feeling go.

“You’re still freelancing?” Peter asks Margaret, momentarily distracted when Ed’s phone lights up with a call.

“Excuse me, terribly sorry,” he says suddenly, picking up the phone and answering it, rising to his feet to converse in the adjacent room.

“Yes,” Margaret says, eyes lingering over where her husband has gone, his voice carrying over the walls in worried, muffled tones. “Well, consulting. I can work from home, which makes it easier to take care of all my non-existent children,” she gestures to the empty room around them.

“You could go work with Jarvis,” May retrieves a new bottle, popping the cap. “Look after the books, help him replace tyres.”

“Tempting,” Margaret says dully, rolling her eyes. “Can’t understand why I haven’t done that yet.”

Jarvis re-enters minutes later, hands held out apologetically; whispering to Margaret first before he addresses the room.

“Um, we have another guest coming up for dinner, if that’s alright,” he winces at their blank faces. “He works for me. Has a difficult family arrangement and needs a bit of respite. You know how it gets over the holidays.”

Peter meets May’s eyes and shrugs. Anyone working under the business and is vouched for by his surrogate uncle is good by him.

“The more the merrier,” May raises her bottle.

After that, the kitchen needs his hands again.

---

The afternoon is spent preparing the sides, checking in on the truly gargantuan turkey and indulging their cat with nibbles and head scratches. May and Margaret spend the time drinking beer and cider, reminiscing their college years. It’s nice to hear the house full of laughter, given how somber the mood was when they were last all together.

“When did you get a cat?” Peter directs his question to Jarvis, accepting a peeler from him to attack the carrots.

The cat in question is completely black and delightfully plump, not overly so, but enough to indicate it’s decently fed but probably also a little lazy. Or maybe he just thinks that now that it lies tall on the peak on its scratching post, tail flicking idly while it watches them work tirelessly in the kitchen from above.

“Oh, about a year ago. Gives Peggy some company while I'm in the garage. She’s a sweetheart, this one.”

“What’s her name?”

“Friday the Thirteenth. Friday for short.”

“That’s, um, unique.”

“Was the day we adopted her,” Jarvis reaches up to scratch her. “And she’s a black cat, so, you know; spooky.”

Peter tilts his head to the side, considering it. “I like it.”

“Not bad, huh.”

“Yep. It’s a better name than Molly,” he mutters, shaking a slimy carrot shaving off his fingers.

Jarvis pauses. “As in Ringwald?”

Peter sighs and continues peeling.

----

“Did I ever tell you about the time May came to class in a bathing suit?”

“I don’t think they need to hear that --”

“So we have this exam,” Peggy says, ignoring May, “Super important. Fifty percent of our overall grade. She comes in late, dripping wet, the biggest hickey on her neck I have ever seen --”

“Peggy.”

“-- Only thing saving her modesty was Ben’s shirt over her shoulders. I had to lend her a pen so she could sit the exam.”

“Did you pass though,” Peter asks curiously, shovelling a large lump of mashed potato into his mouth.

“Top grades,” she winks at him.

“She sat there for two hours, dripping water onto the ground and got flying colors. Meanwhile I’m the idiot who studied for weeks and got marked down twenty points for --”

The end of her sentence gets cut off by the sound of a car approaching the property, headlights flashing through the windows.

Then, a knock at the door.

“Ah, that must be…” Ed trails off, wiping his hand on a napkin before standing. “Excuse me.”

He goes to answer the front door, Margaret continues her story albeit much more quietly until the voices of Ed and their guest filter through, becoming progressively louder.

“Sorry to intrude, I know it’s the holidays --”

Wait. That voice is familiar.

“Nonsense,” Ed interrupts, “you know you’re welcome anytime. You’re practically family, kid. Come in, we’re eating now, you’re just in time.”

Peter’s fork clangs loudly on his plate when he sees their visitor, unable to keep his grip on the utensil as his limbs start to tingle. He forgets how to breathe for a second, entire body going hot.

Ed’s arm is around Tony Stark and they’re approaching through the living room, heading right for them. There’s a fresh cut on his lip and an ugly, wreath of bruising around his jaw and neck, deeply purple, speckled spots of burst capillaries visible from even where he’s sitting.

The worst part isn’t the intrusion. It’s how Tony looks unlike himself; he looks small and skittish, gaze flicking nervously around the room, arms curled around his waist. Something in his chest starts to feel the closer he gets, weird, hot and unwieldy, burning, like a hot poker has been drawn across his sternum.

“You’re the best, Jar...vis,” Tony trails off when he spots the Parkers, eyes zeroing in on Peter.

“Um,” Peter says, sharing a surprised look with May, not knowing what else to say.

But then suddenly Tony is shaking his head, shrugging out of Ed’s embrace and backing up, the skittish look gone and replaced with anger.

“You’ve got to be kidding me. No fucking way.”

Then he turns, and leaves.

----

tagging: @bylerboyfriends @ravens-starker-stuff, @starker-rays, @ironspiderstarker, @muse-of-gods, @notfor-temporaryuse, @tabbycat1220, @sugarfreecult, @rebel13lion39, @plueschpop, @spideravocados, @jellybbunny, @booktrashme, @elfkido, @mycatislickingmybedsheets, @queerghostboyo, @disneyprincessdominatrix, @cherrygoldlove @starkerflowers@starkeristheendgame @thewolffearsher @starkersugar , @starkerforlife6969, @css1992, @parkerrbitch, @fuckmemrstark, @blankblankityblank, @ilovemoreid, @blaquedecember, @killmylonelysoul, @notfor-temporaryuse, @arvaen, @chaos-with-a-pen, @notnormallaura, @portiamarie02, @bloodymisanthropist, @ser-no-tonin, @staticwhispersinthedark

#starker #tony stark x peter parker #ironspider #high school au

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zertzertzhang · 4 years ago

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Stand and Deliver: My Life Turned Upside Down

A/N: This is my first time writing on Tumblr, so please bear with me! I am usually active on FFNet and AO3, but since this fandom is basically nonexistent except for here, I thought maybe I could post my works for this movie here. The story is a fanfic based on the 1988 movie ‘Stand and Deliver’ starring Edward James Olmos, and taking a deeper look into the lives of the impoverished students in East LA.

Eventual Angel/OC, and warnings of racial slurs with some physical violence.

Chapter One: Hellhole

The divorce shattered the Yang family to pieces. Vianne was no stranger to her mother’s scorn for her father, even at a young age. There were countless nights of screaming from Mrs. Yang, coupled with the frustrated curses her father threw in return. At one point, she was sure she heard plates crashing against the walls, but by the time she pumped up the courage to go check the next day, everything had been neatly restored. It was like the fight never took place.

Vianne was not stupid; the traces of her parent’s clashing were found in their silence. It was the harsh clatter of silverware against the bowls during dinner which reminded her that despite the calm nature of the family evenings, rage was just seconds from spilling onto the streets. Their house had just enough bearings to keep authorities from pounding the door on a weekly basis.

There wasn’t much left to solidify the hate between the spouses of the Yang household. By the time Vianne’s father suggested giving her a sibling to help bring her mother back, even she knew that it was a futile attempt to play house a little longer.

But to Vianne’s dismay, her mother agreed. Within months, blue paint littered around the spare bedroom in a massive heap, threatening to swallow the couple whole. Vianne didn’t react much when she realized a brother was coming her way, the increased shouting from Mrs. Yang frightened her as the due date neared. Her father would grumble incessantly about his wife’s mood swings and how that was what men got for marrying.

All of that was lost to Vianne; she was too young to comprehend full sentences, much less understand the hidden meaning behind her father’s statement. Maybe her brother would make her mother happy for once. She could envision her father playing with her in the fields as her mother and her brother sat on picnic mats to the side. They would be laughing just like how it used to be. Vianne wouldn’t have to stay awake, pressing her ears against the doors as more kitchenwares were broken. There would finally be peace...

Her mother’s eyes held the warmth of motherhood for no longer than a few seconds before the cold hollow overtook them again.

Peace never came. What happened in its stead was her brother screeching from his crib, all the while as her parents shrieked at one another over changing diapers. It made Vianne’s head split with thunderous agony. She never wanted to yell this badly, to make them just hug each other for once and stop talking. But such thoughts happened in her mind only. And before she knew it, they were back to throwing pots against the wall.

That lasted however long she remembered. Then came the papers, and she soon found herself holding baby Jack in her arms as her aunt ushered her into a stranger’s car. They said they would be taking care of them for a while. It dawned on Vianne that this was her first time meeting her mother’s family. There was no such thing as a happy reunion in this household.

She didn’t get to see her father after that, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to anyway. Not when the last thing she saw him doing was spitting onto her mother’s face as he tried to stop her from stepping out the door. No one knew that Vianne hid under the covers to cry herself to sleep once she settled in her new home.

And thus, Mrs. Yang became Ms. Lin once more. But for legal reasons, Vianne and Jack’s surname stayed. The minor details flew over her head; Vianne didn’t put much care on the subject. In the long run, the privilege to listen to the crickets chirp at night was enough to keep her satisfied.

That’s how things went for a while, with the emotional charge from her mother coming down for once in a long time. It wasn’t a surprise when Ms. Lin began going out all dolled up and pretty. The scent of her Saint Laurent eau de parfum clung to her skin as she whisked past the older Vianne. The girl felt a twist in her gut; she didn’t want to smell the hints of cologne her mother brought back after every weekend. However, she kept her mouth shut.

Ms. Lin didn’t hold back on her monetary needs. Thank god her salary as a lawyer cushioned their lifestyle. Despite being a single parent, her income had left a spacious room for extra spending. A shopping trip once a month was guaranteed, and that was when Vianne saw her mother at her very best. Talkative and cheery, Ms. Lin wasted no time in purchasing the latest trench-coats from Burberry as she gushed over how cute it looked on Vianne.

Something about her giggling mother put her at ease. The punching of the credit card’s number sent a rush of high in her blood, which only increased with Ms. Lin’s blabbering praise of how beautiful she looked in the mirror. She was well-fed and well-clothed; Vianne figured that there had to be a trade off somewhere. Not everything could be given, so she happily accepted the allowance. It was the closest she’d ever get to having her mother smother her in a crushing hug.

School was another topic. No doubt she was expected to do well in it; Vianne was sure her college expenses would be covered as well once she got to it. So she put the worry on that to the side as well. Her social life at school was decent, with her own clique of Asian Americans making up most of her friend group. It was genuinely a decent life for her, and for a moment, she thought this was going to be her forever.

Until it was news to her that her current school was going to be a thing of the past. Ms. Lin had become engaged to one of her former clients. Vianne was near her senior year of high school when her mother broke the news to her.

“Scott has a family of his own,” Ms. Lin explained. “His children are having a difficult time accepting us.”

Vianne lost her appetite and tossed her dinner down the dump. Her brain refused to tell her how to react, so her first response was denial. She wasn’t interested in a second dad or a second family, this was her happy medium. Besides, she still had Jack, so there wasn’t any long-term loneliness. Why was her mother complicating things?! What the hell?

“I don’t see how it’s our problem.” She tried to keep her voice cool, but the hint of frustration leaked nonetheless.

Her mother looked almost ashamed. Almost. “I’ll be moving in with Scott next week, Vianne. It’s to help his children get used to the new family members.”

The pause after the statement didn’t help the rising anxiety within Vianne. Her fingers clenched around the fork, digging the metal utensil into her soft skin so much that it stung. There was a catch to that announcement, she could feel it.

“What about me?” she asked. “What about Jack?”

Ms. Lin sucked in a breath, drumming her fingers on the mahogany table in a frenzy. And from experience, that only meant bad news. “Scott lives in the Bay Area. It’s too far away from Napa for me to come visit constantly if you stay. So I’ve decided to have you move back with your father.”

The world came undone from below and swallowed Vianne whole. Her mind was a blank sheet of paper, with no idea how to respond. It had been a decade of little to no contact with Mr. Yang, and the sudden contact with him was not going to lead to a happy talk over a cup of coffee. This was fucking ridiculous.

“You said you’d never let him see us again.” Her retort sounded irrelevant at worst, and petty at best. Not that this was going to change her mother’s engagement.

And sure enough, it wasn’t. Ms. Lin gave an exasperated sigh and pinched her nose. The shake of her head reminded Vianne of the way she would scold her when she was a child.

“Your father is doing better now. He’s…different,” her mother tried. “He’s simply not living in the best places out there. But that’s ok! You won’t stay there after graduation, and after you go to college, you’ll be coming back to Scott and me over breaks.”

Vianne could hear the blood in her ears bubbling like an overboiled teapot. “I don’t even know Scott that well, mom! How am I supposed to be his new family after you settle in?!”

The matriarch rolled her eyes at the scene, clearly not taking her daughter’s response well. “It’s a work in progress. I’ll make sure to bring them to you every once in a while to let them get comfortable. That’s why I’m moving in first.”

Her reasoning failed to get past Vianne’s anger, spurring her on. “So you’re just gonna dump us in LA with dad so you can live your comfy life?!”

That comment seemed to be the final nail onto the coffin, as Ms. Lin’s frown turned to a scowl in seconds. “I’m not dumping you anywhere, Vianne. It’s only going to be a year, and your allowance is staying the same! So stop being dramatic.”

Her mother’s cold gaze bore into her mind, freezing her in her tracks. It would serve both of them better if she conceded right there. Once her mother came to a decision, she was like an ox in the middle of a fight. There was no arguing out of this situation. The friends she had and the memories she made in Napa were now pipedreams wrapped up in a dusky alley. Her failure to even voice her opinions squeezed her lungs tight with perturbation.

The familiar pounding headache cursed her forehead, making her wince. Vianne had the sudden urge to smash plates just like her mother had done before. But she didn’t need a grounding on top of everything else, so she settled with pulling her lips back into a painful grin.

“What's the name of the school?” She expected her mother to answer that at least. Donning an air of nonchalance, Vianne tried to appear as unbothered as she could. The trembling of her hands were the only markers of betrayal. If Ms. Lin noticed her plight, then she took no interest in it. Her mother reached for a brown packet and tore it open.

A stack of papers slid out of the package, with the name ‘J.A. Garfield High School’ printed in bold fonts in the front page. It was her transfer letter.

Ms. Lin took a sip of her red wine before she continued her trail of thought. “I’ve given them your transcripts and coursework history already. You’ll be admitted in the second semester.”

“You’re really sending me to the ghetto.” Vianne felt the veins in her head pop. Quickly scouring through the papers, she came across her schedule. There was no AP Biology on the list, and there was definitely no AP BC Calculus on it either. In their places was a section marked as ‘Teaching Assistant’. And that was enough to send her ticking with rage.

“What’s the meaning of this?!” This time, she didn’t bother to hide her fury. “Why did they drop my classes?!”

Slamming the files down so hard that the china rattled, the young woman seethed as she stared her mother down. Ms. Lin wasn’t having any of it either, her fingers gripping the wine glass had turned pale with the increased pressure.

“The school doesn’t have AP courses, Vianne. They’re offering full credits for your two AP classes as compensation.”

The words that came out of her mother’s mouth stunned Vianne into silence. Graduation credits were worth nothing to her in college, this had to be some sick joke.

“What about my AP tests next year?” she hammered. “How am I supposed to take the tests without taking the classes?!” Her complaints were like flies buzzing around an agitated human. Ms. Lin simply waved them off without a second glance, as if her worries were nothing but unnecessary trivialities in life.

“You’re smart, sweetheart. You can study for them by yourself.” Her mother threw out the response like it was the obvious solution to her problem. “There’ll be more than enough spare time in your hands to bury yourself in books.”

Vianne quirked a brow. “Why?”

Ms. Lin actually smiled. But behind it were the vestiges of an arrogant smirk threatening to show itself to the surface. “Their coursework is basically non-existent. The catalogs are dated, and the materials are easy enough to be mistaken for a middle schooler’s level. You’ll have no trouble boosting your GPA up and acing your tests.”

If pride was a thing in her family, then it was going out the window. Vianne couldn’t believe her ears, nor could she stomach the sight of the letters. At this level, she might as well turn herself to a thirteen-year-old and go back to primary school. All her hard work was about to go up in flames because of that ghetto school. Hot tears rimmed along her eyes, sending her into a vortex of despair once more.

There wasn’t enough time to say goodbye to her friends; Kimberly’s birthday was in two weeks, and the whole group had a surprise beach trip planned out. And that was just the tip of the iceberg. Mountains of projects she had been dedicated to simply poofed into air. Her hands clenched at the sides, doing their best to contain the urge to hit something.

The shifting of bodies alerted her of her mother’s departure from the living room; Ms. Lin was already up the stairs by the time Vianne shook herself back to reality. She looked over to the stove and was struck by the time it displayed on the counter. It was way too late into the early mornings.

“Your flights depart in two days.” The voice of her mother was drifting away into the distance. Their hollow vibrations from the hall sent her stomach dropping to the floor. “You should start packing soon, Vianne.”

That was the end of the conversation. It was made clear with the slam of Ms. Lin’s bedroom door, rattling its hinges. Neither of them were in the state to argue, and she knew it. Standing alone by the dining table, Vianne sniffled. Her nose was unbearably stuffy in addition to the increasing sting in her eyes.

She didn’t catch a wink of sleep that night.

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LAX was the definition of a madhouse. People shouted in all kinds of languages, deafening her ears and making Jack whimper on her side. Vianne held her brother close as she shoved their way through the gates of their section. The crowded mass on top of her migraine was slowly inching her towards a mental breakdown. After hauling off the last of her luggages from baggage claim, she ushered Jack to the main exit of the airport.

She knew she hadn't seen her father’s face in years, and the dreadful thought of not recognizing their only ticket out settled within her gut. Panic palpated in her heart as they came out of the building, with the sea of people not helping in the slightest.

Mr. Yang was next to unrecognizable when Vianne saw the massive sign with her name blaring in red. He looked different, much different than before. But then again, her seven-year-old perspective wasn’t all that trustworthy either. The face of her father hit her like a cold splash of water, and she found herself failing to greet him with the simplest ‘hello’. She merely stared at the balding man, unable to tear her eyes away from the beerbelly and narrowed eyes. Her father was a stranger to her, and it was then she realized that Jack had never even met their father.

Her brother scooted away from Mr. Yang when the man approached them, looking up to her with his teary gaze. Jack looked like he wanted to burst into a wailing fit. It was going to be a long ride back.

Heavy silence filled the car throughout the ride to her new home. Mr. Yang asked about her health and her school life, repeating the same questions he wrote to her weeks ago. Vianne kept the answers simple and precise, nodding and smiling to make it seem like she was engaged.

Jack, on the other hand, fidgeted endlessly in his seat in the back, looking anywhere but the front of the driver’s seat. The introduction between father and son was awkward to say the least. Vianne was just happy that they were now on their way to get the year over with. She clutched the phonebook in her pockets, memorizing all her friends’ numbers. It took her mind off things, if that was a positive note.

There could never be enough distractions for her, especially now that the three of them were stuck in the worst possible position. As if whatever deity in the heavens wanted to lay more unto the cruel joke, Vianne shook from her revere and noticed the selection of houses they were approaching.

Rundown and abandoned were the least of her worries. The neighborhood was like the cardboard cutout from a horror magazine. Desecrated with graffitis and empty beer cans, the streets were littered with grime and dust. It was obvious the town duster wasn’t a frequent worker there. And was that a person sitting on the roof of a car?!

Vianne’s eyes bulged as she squinted at the flailing man on top of a red Chevrolet. Men donned in tall hats paraded the city roads like they owned the place, causing a line of angry drivers honking at the ruckus. The pounding headache intensified at the sight, and she grumbled a string of curses to herself.

“Monterey Park is a lot better,” Mr. Yang spoke out of nowhere. “We’re gonna be away from these dirty shitbags.”

She flinched at the harsh edge of his voice, but didn’t say anything. By the crinkled lines between his brows and the frown on his lips, her father wasn’t in the mood for a good-natured chat. It was better that way, Vianne herself could feel her spirits waning with each mile.

The trio reached a small neighborhood in no time, and to her relief, it looked miles better than the houses she previously saw. The structures still retained the brittle fragility in appearance, but the paintings were even this time. And the lawns appeared to be taken cared of as well. Vianne felt the corners of her lip tug up in a hopeful smile.

But like any other good news, it was crushed to dust as soon as it presented itself. Her father didn’t use his keys to unlock the door. Instead, it swung open on its own accord, revealing the face of a middle-aged woman with frizzy hair and leopard-printed blouse. Vianne’s mind jumped to the worst possible scenario, jumping back a good distance. The young woman stared at the fresh face for what felt like a long time, before the coughing from Mr. Yang pulled her from the staring contest.

“Clara, they’re my children; Vianne and Jack.” Her father’s gruff voice held her to the ground. Gesturing to the women next, he continued to speak. “Vianne, Jack, this is Clara. She’s my girlfriend.”

Despite him being this close to the two women, Mr. Yang was oblivious to the scowl that now stretched across his daughter’s face. Vianne put two and two together and realized why her mother refused to share too much of her father’s living situation. There was no way in hell she would have agreed to come had she knew of this beforehand. Her living arrangements were fucked up to no end, and for a moment, she contemplated ringing her mother on the spot.

“It’s nice to meet you.” Clara didn’t move from her position. She gave the two newcomers a pitying look, but her lips turned up to a smirk. “I’ve heard a lot about y’all.”

Jack stared at Vianne, lips pouting in morbid curiosity. The older sibling sighed and rolled her eyes; she was getting worked up over nothing. They only had to stay here for another year till graduation, so she reckoned she would find a way to grin and bear it.

“There are rules to this household.” Her father wasted no time in listing the regulations under his roof. “You won’t be able to run amok like ya did with your mother here. First, Clara is to be respected at all times.”

Mr. Yang was blind to the seething glare Vianne threw him as she unpacked her bags across the room. It was one thing to be forced to live under these conditions, but it was a totally different thing to be mandated around by a stranger who she detested. A biting remark made its way to her tongue, but was cut short by his rambling speech.

“Curfew is 6 pm sharp. No loitering around the streets after the sun goes down,” he continued. “No boys are allowed, and there will be no parties here.”

No one, and she meant no one, told her when she got to come home. The last time her mother set her a curfew was in middle school. And it was definitely not at that time either. She wasn’t interested in dating anyone from this neighborhood, much less bringing a boy back home. Parties were out of the question, Vianne had already made up her mind that she was going to burrow herself for a year before she dipped.

“I’ll stay out as much as I want.” It was a crisp retort, and she turned up her nose. “My car will be here in a few days. I’ll be fine.”

Mr. Yang’s nose flared at the comment. His eyes darkened, reminding her of the way he used to look at her mother. She didn’t voice it, but the familiar shivers ran down her spine. Avoiding his gazem Vianne took a sudden interest in the rings on her fingers.

“This ain’t Napa County, Vianne.” Her father’s hand shook. “You’ll be down in the dirt in no time if you don’t adapt to the people here.”

She ignored his statement and pulled out her luggage of clothes. Everyone knew of the nature of the ghetto people there. That was the reason she brought her car. Whatever it was, Vianne wasn’t going to touch them with a ten-foot pole.

“Whatever,” she mumbled. Sensing her displeasure in the conversation, Mr. Yang grumbled something about women, before throwing a stack of notebooks onto her bed. Vianne glanced at them, but made no attempt to retrieve the papers.

“These are the course intros for tomorrow.” Her father was opening a can of beer as he eyed her. “You and Jack are waking up at 7. No negotiations.”

“Sure, sure.” There was no reason to get into a fight, and she thought it was wise to choose her battles. A curt nod was all she gave him, before she slipped past her father to go find Jack. There was still time to brood over her state of affairs.

Time always flew when you were either panicking or on cloud nine. That would be the second night of the week where she didn’t get to sleep. Her eyes trailed to the calendar; today was her first day of school.

A/N: Sorry for the slow start! Juicy drama picks up in the next chapter! Reviews, criticism, and comments are welcome :3

And here's a shoutout to @classic80sand90smovieloves2 for inspiring and helping me write this out!

#stand and deliver #angel guzman #80s movies #fanfic #angel guzman imagine #80s movie imagines #lou diamond phillips #jaime escalante #edward james olmos #stand and deliver headcanon #fanfiction

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legacixs · 5 years ago

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( ISKRA LAWRENCE, CIS FEMALE, SHE/HER ) ⌇ have you seen LORELEI MOORE around icaria? they are the 26 year old child of PERSEPHONE. they remind me of THE FIRST WARM DAY OF SPRING, LAVENDER SWAYING IN THE BREEZE, A YELLOW RAINCOAT ON A RAINY DAY.

+ empathetic, intellectual, gentle, fair-minded, creative, nurturing, realistic, resilient – over-sensitive, self-isolating, nosy, obsessive, domineering, temperamental, indecisive

pinterest | playlist

𝐛𝐢𝐨𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐩𝐡𝐲

lorelei never knew her birth father. he was young, from what her adoptive parents told her. in his twenties, not yet ready to be a dad. he never suspected that his brief time with the goddess of spring would leave him with a child to care for.

she only met her birth mother a few times — nothing more than a exchange on a couple of her birthdays, and however pleasant they were, it wasn’t much.

her adoptive parents were her real parents. they were the only consistent family she’s ever known — her mom, nora; her dad, luis; her brother, christopher; her sister, ophelia.

nora and luis weren’t high school sweethearts, or childhood best friends. they both found one another after each having gone through divorces from their first spouses. chris, the eldest, was the ring bearer at their wedding (at 6, he was barely old enough not to stick the ring in his mouth or nose.)

they tried to get pregnant for many years, but were unsuccessful. they went to fertility clinics, tried every trick everyone ever tells you, and had no child to show for it.

with nothing but love and hope in their hearts, they began the adoption process. that’s when they met lorelei, a five year old girl with a kind soul and bad luck with foster homes.

she spent the first four years of her life with the kline family, who were unable to continue caring for her when mrs. kline fell ill. and then she moved in with the farley family — they weren’t mean, but they yelled a lot, and their son who was older than her got a lot of joy out of making her cry.

thankfully, both luis and nora fell in love with her and young lorelei found herself in what would eventually feel like home.

it was strange at first, and she often wondered if she’d have to leave there too. especially when nora became pregnant mere months later.

“it always happens when you stop trying!”

“two kids in less than a year; you must be busy.”

“guess you didn’t have to adopt after all!” people said.

lorelei spent what felt like the eternity of nora’s pregnancy hoping that she wouldn’t have to leave. but when little ophelia was born, and nora and luis invited lorelei to “come say hi to your little sister”, she knew she was here to stay.

lorelei’s childhood was normal after that. the moore family lived in a backwoods town in pennsylvania — surrounded by trees, farms, and more plants than lorelei could ever dream. it was here that her powers started to manifest; suitably a surprise for all involved. fields would bloom in her wake; and likewise, crops would wither behind her. she either had the best green thumb, or killed every plant she touched (like many others, her powers seemed heavily influenced by mood.)

it was an adjustment, to say the least. it was thanks to the help of persephone when she visited on lorelei’s ninth birthday. with her guidance, they all grew used to little lorelei’s abilities.

she was a shy child (a fact that surprises people when they meet her now) but sometimes the world was just too much. hyper-sensitive, young demigod lorelei felt things more extremely than others, and so she started picking up isolation techniques.

her favorite was hiding, while still being able to observe. she didn’t want to be completely away from the world, just hidden in the shadows. she’d sit under a weeping willow along a busy town road and watch the world pass by for hours. now she often sits on park benches with noise canceling headphones, watching the world go by without feeling overwhelmed.

she’d enjoy her alone time with a sketch pad or journal; she’d scribble the hours of the day away until her parents or christopher called for her to come back inside.

overall she had a happy childhood, once she settled with her family. she was never popular in school, though that was perhaps a reality of her own making. she often befriended the people others wouldn’t and, when told that she would be “cool if she didn’t hang out with such losers” lorelei quickly stood up for her friends and told those classmates exactly what she thought of them.

never afraid to speak her mind in the face of injustice, her morals were as high as her judgement.

she became something of a self-proclaimed friend to the lonely, despondent, isolated.

many of them proved to be fantastic friends, wrongly misjudged by their peers. unfortunately, a select few proved to be emotionally manipulative and toxic — the most notable of the latter being her ex-boyfriend.

their year of dating left her insecure, shattered, and fearful. she prefers not to discuss it in detail, even now. it was only through the support of her family (even if they remained unaware of what was even going on) and their fresh start in another country that helped her to recover.

helsinki, finland became their home when lorelei was just 17. it was a new beginning, even if she hadn’t recognized it at the time. and the picturesque, european architecture would serve as the backdrop for her later teen, college, and young adult years.

despite her anxieties of starting college somewhere new, with no friends in the area, lorelei thrived. she pursued writing, and came to love her craft. she also tried to minor in illustration, but after two years came to realize that she preferred it as something done on her own time, than as an assignment.

her confidence blossomed, as did her powers. although she still had her moments of weakness, lorelei’s control over her abilities made her quite the local botanist. she’d spend her afternoons between classes tending to helsinki’s parks, plants and trees. springs became more beautiful every year, summers became richer; and during fall and winter, lorelei’s apartment bloomed with all of the plants that wouldn’t survive the cold.

a sweet soul, has that “old soul” vibe

big pisces energy

doesn’t trust love and fears intimacy (physical and not) after her terrible relationship

adopted

her family is her family

but does sometimes wonder what her birth dad is like...

is a lucky demigod to have met her birth mom

loves her siblings very much

christopher is 3 years older than her, ophelia is 5 years younger

ophelia is high energy and reckless

christopher is super serious and responsible

she’s somewhere in the middle

her parents never worried much about her

she kind of had most stuff handled

or she hid it VERY well

none of them knew she went through a toxic relationship

had some body image issues growing up

is trying to learn to love her body

had the biggest collection of stuffed animals as a kid. her mom definitely has more than 1 photo of her sitting in a pile of plushies

soft but strong??

shares persephone’s dichotomy of spring goddess/queen of hell

is actually p good at being emotionally vulnerable

feels things very intensely

wears glasses (even tho iskra doesn’t but let’s just imagine-)

works as a writer!

wants to write a book but pays the bills by writing for an online magazine

more sarcastic than she seems at face value

she has to be comfortable with you to show that side of her

people are surprised she swears

stronger than she looks

𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬

FAMILY — unknown birth father (would be around 48-52), older brother christopher (29-30) and younger sister ophelia (20-21). either could be demigods, technically. chris is nora’s son, with an unnamed father. and ophelia was thought to be the only full child of nora and luis, but maybe there was some divine intervention with nora’s miracle pregnancy, if you will.

FRIENDS — lorelei is a wonderful friend, so these are a must! she’s from helsinki, but lived in the north eastern US prior to that. she works as a writer (remotely) and is often finding different places around town to write. she frequents stores, coffee shops, anywhere that lets her sit and focus on her work. i’d love for her to have a core group of friends that she can rely on (she’s got big mom friend energy)

ROMANCE — not impossible, but certainly difficult. lorelei has been closed off to love and intimacy since her teens, after a severely toxic relationship. but she wants to be in love. the idea of it is very appealing, and while she’s attempted to date or try putting herself out there again, when faced with the opportunity she gets scared and backs out. there’d have to be a lot of trust and patience from both parties, but it’s definitely something i’d love for her! all genders welcome

ENEMIES — it’s not entirely difficult to make an enemy of lorelei... though she isn’t antagonistic, she does become intolerable of people who push her buttons. it borders on rude at times, if she feels she’s been pushed far enough. generally they’d have to be rude to someone, talk down to her, treat her like she’s stupid, etc. she’s also capable of changing her opinion of people! so the “enemies to friends” trope is an option

#icaria: intro #a #here she is!!#emotional abuse tw #body image tw

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jepleurs-icry · 3 years ago

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My Life, My Mess, My Legacy Part 2

If you read part 1, then you are getting a glimpse of my earlier years. Time goes by. At the end of part 1, I wrote that I should have ran from a relationship that was not easy, it was scary, fearful, confusing, it gave me low self-esteem because I was made to feel that way.

My daughter's are the reason I stayed with him for 11 years. After 5 years of being married, I knew I had to leave but was not ready yet. I needed to learn some skills, for work, to support myself for later on.

The divorce came after 11 years, and it was very rough on the girls. They lived in suitcases for about 5 years of going back and forth, as that was how the divorce settlement was written up. Not my choice for sure.

Eventually, I did learn that one of my daughter's was caught stealing. I went right away to the Police station and talked to a Juvenile Officer. I went to the drugstore and talked to the Manger. She was pleasant and happy I was addressing the situation so my daughter did not do this again.

Seems like her troubles were happening when she was staying at her Dad's house not mine. I contacted a good lawyer this time and it was settled that the girl's would stay with me. They could see their Dad when they wanted, but no more living out of a suitcase.

After that, things settle down. I moved on, went out, found a group for divorced parents, joined and had fun.

After about 2 years, I met a handsome man who was British. He was newly divorced and at a dance. My girlfriend handed him a piece of paper with my name and phone number on it. He put it in his pocket. I thought he would call but he did not.

But one day, out of the blue he did call. He made a date and we went out to dinner that weekend. We talked for a long time at the restaurant. Maybe 4 hours. He had 3 children. He was smart, different, handsome. I was attracted to him. At the end of the date, we had a quick kiss and said goodnight. That was in 1989.

It was getting close to Christmas and I hadn't heard from him. He had given me his phone number, but I was not a call the guy type of girl, except this time I did. He was going to England to see his parents for Christmas.

One Christmas Eve, 1989, I was visiting my Foster Mother in the country where I grew up. Around 4 o'clock she suffered a stomach hemorrhage and vomited blood. I called the ambulance, but by the time they reached us they could not intubate her and she passed away.

My daughter's were with me on that dreadful day. They came with me to the hospital, and had to wait in the waiting room until the coroner came to get me and asked me what happened.

My Foster Mother was on blood thinners since she was 63. She had surgery to repair the arteries in both her legs as cholesterol had built up. On Christmas Eve 1989 she was 77 years old.

The coroner said her stomach lining had burst, as the blood thinners had eaten away the lining.

It was really tough to go through that. It stayed with me for about 5 years and eventually I made peace with that day. I realized it was a blessing that it happened while I was visiting her. At least she was not alone.

Then, one day the "guy" called me. I told him what happened. He was sympathetic , but not overly so. That kind of surprised me. He did not ask me for a 2nd date.

A friend, from the divorced group called me; said she was going to have a dinner party. A murder mystery dinner. She was going to call the "guy" up as she had met him at another time and place. She knew I liked him.

The evening of the party came and it was a lot of fun! He was there sitting beside me. But, I stayed cool, I became sarcastic and indifferent towards him. The dinner ended, the mystery murder was solved, and everyone went to sit down in the living room.

He could see I was upset at him for not calling me or asking me out again. I knew he liked me. Perhaps he was not ready for a relationship. The time came to say goodnight and we walked out together. When we got to my car, we kissed and talked for so long. I knew I wanted this man in my life.

After that, he called all the time. We went out, I eventually met his children, he met mine. We became a family. He was British, sophisticated as the English are but also depending what region they come they can be snobby. He told me or I guess one day I found out he did not like African Americans.

This was disturbing to me, as my Foster parents raised me that a person's color is just a difference. Nothing to fear. They were not racist and they taught us (me and my sister) not to be.

But my guy made racial comments at times and they were degrading. He said it was because his brother who lives in South Africa, had trouble with the locals there. That was his explanation. Silently, I hated this part of him.

After 2 years of dating, we became engaged. We got married. His parents came over from England for the wedding. They seemed nice enough. I noticed that his Mother was scrutinizing me at times. She would undermine things I said. I complained to my finance, but he brushed it off.

We rented a convertible to get around in. I was driving one evening, and ended up in another part of town. This part of town was not so rich. The houses were smaller, and you could tell it was a rough neighborhood. Our honeymoon was on Singer Island in Florida. A rich neighborhood.

In the car he said to me... What are you doing? Get out of this place. It's bad people who live here. Meaning African Americans. He asked me if I was scared of the neighborhood. I was naive, I said no. Again the racial interlude showed it's ugly face.

Honeymoon was over in about 6 days, we returned home (one that I put the down payment on). His parents had stayed to babysit my dog. My boxer. They did a great job and she was a great dog! The Mother in Law still undermined me. After a week or so the in laws went back to England. Time went by. We had been married less than a year. The true colors of MY NEW HUSBAND came out even more.. He stopped paying attention to me. He became rude, indifferent to my needs or concerns.

Having had an abusive 1st marriage, I was not about to go through this again. We had been to family counseling prior the wedding. This helped us because on some weekends, there were 5 children in the house and we did not want to have disciplinary issues. Things had to be fair.

Like I was some kind of pawn. He went away for two weeks. When he came back I did not pick him up from the airport. He took a taxi home. He entered the house, I was on the sofa watching TV. He said to me, " So did you cheat on me while I was gone"?. I laughed and told him just because it happened to him while he was married to his first wife, I could not never do that. Plus I was still recovering and never went out of the house. For whatever reason, and I will never know exactly, but the idea crossed my mind that he was comfy now, had a home with me in both our names, he was no longer living in a friend's basement. I will never know why he changed towards me the way he did, but it hurt and it reminded me of my 1st husbands abuse.

I could tell things were not getting better, so I went to see the counselor for myself. The counselor asked me if my husband was drinking. Yes, sometimes he would have a beer after work and a couple of them on the weekends. Which is the norm for some people. We had liquor downstairs and there were liquor glasses in the dishwasher. That told me he was drinking after I went to bed. Eventually, while all this neglect and emotional deterioration was going on, I was getting sick. I could no longer support the beauty salon I had purchased, as the clientele was not there. The man who sold me the business had lied about the actual income too. I was in the process of suing him. With the new marriage and the business going down the toilet, my health paid the price. I developed an auto immune disorder. I was weak, had sinus after sinus infections, fever, loss of appetite, and I developed asthma. I was 31 or 32 years old. I had to quit my job. This went on for 3 months. During that time, his parents had invited us to go visit them in England sometime in May. They were going to pay for the airfare. It was a nice gesture, but I knew I could not go. I was just too sick. I could not face them or his brother and wife, etc. being so sick. I explained to my husband that it was best that I did not go as I was too sick. He told me I should go. But I knew it was impossible for me to travel. As time approached to May his parents called and asked if I was going to come too. He told them no, as I was still so sick. Then he told me, I'm glad your not going because I will not let you come with me now. I was so crushed that he said that. So, I went to a support group. It did not help, it was sad. Stories about their spouses drinking and how the coped with it. I knew what I had to do. I did not sign up for this kind of life. I wanted out. I asked for a divorce in October 1992. The fighting for who was getting the house started almost immediately. I had put down $15,000.00 from my inheritance towards the purchase of this house. He paid the mortgage every month, but I bought the groceries and paid for the cable. He thought he would get the house and I would get nothing. This is what he told me. I responded in kind saying that no judge would give him the house after I had put the down payment and paid for groceries and other things. We finally settled on $10,000 payable to me, and he remortgaged the house and kept it for himself. I didn't care anymore. I just wanted out of the marriage and could hardly wait to start my life over again. So tell me. If you can? Why did I make such a costly mistake. He seemed genuine at the beginning. How did things go south so fast? This is my mess number 2 with men at least. The emotional cost and financial aspect blows my mind! This was a total of 11 + 4 years = 15 years of my life gone down the toilet. The only good thing was my two beautiful daughters. How could I have made such a mistake? I think a trained counselor could have helped me understand the situation. How many times in life do you have to pick up the pieces. I always thought I was smart, intelligent, witty, down to earth, could figure things out, was very independent. But when it comes to love I sucked at recognizing some signs I guess. But if the signs are hidden a person can never know what their future will be. The divorce was going through, and I moved out in December I believe. He did not even fight for our relationship, which I thought was very sad. If you truly loved someone wouldn't you fight for them? To make it work I mean. My new life settled in, I was working full-time by then, and seemed happy enough except for money struggles once in awhile I was doing pretty good. It took about 2 years for my health to return to normal. I became active again in the singles group, joined a softball league, and went back to the dances. Two years past by. I was starting to forget about "my guy" whom I was crazy about the first few years. Life continues as they say... and that's what happened... my life

continued. Thank you Chickapea

#abuse #manipulators

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g0ldpainted · 7 years ago

Text

17th December - CtC’17

Ignis cheating on his S/O Part 2

Here it is, part 2 for Ignis! Part one can be found here

1st Part ; 2nd Part // Noctis cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Gladio cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Prompto cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Ravus cheating

Words: 2.2k+

Genre: Angst, betrayal, moving on, overcoming the pain, staying together

Spoilers: None

Trigger warnings: pregnancy, depression

."No! Ignis, I don't want her to spend Christmas with us!" Ignis' wife shouted at him while they were arguing in the kitchen, cleaning the plates as they spoke.

For the past month, he had been bothering her about inviting Stella to their Christmas celebration. After she brought the idea up, he didn't seem to dislike it nearly as much as his wife hoped he would. It was the polar opposite, actually. Ignis thought I'd be great to invite the mother of his three-year-old daughter. The spouses' kids loved her, too. They'd probably appreciate having her over since they grew so close. But their mother, Ignis' wife certainly didn't want the one that ruined her perfect family life to spend such a meaningful holiday with them. To her, she was nothing but a nuisance - even after almost four years since she discovered his infidelity.

"But the children would love to see her!" he argued back, not yet shouting but certainly raising his voice, "I assure you it'd improve the evening greatly."

"It definitely won't! You know that I don't want to see her face!" she returned, not lowering her voice yet, "She hasn't spent the past four Christmas' with us, she won't spend this one with us!"

Those four years were far more of a challenge than she ever anticipated. The bright colors she used to see her life in were still gone. Ever since that night his lies were uncovered, her heart felt heavy. Taking care of a child that wasn't hers drained all her energy. Each time she glanced at the baby's face, she only saw Stella. She couldn't help but imagine her husband and his affair having sex. It repeatedly broke her heart, was a constant reminder of how her love was never good enough, how he only cared about his needs instead of his family's.

"I advise you should keep yourself together then. Our children would appreciate the company. They haven't seen her in a while," he quite calmly replied, coldly staring into his lover's eyes, "You shouldn't be selfish on Christmas."

It was true, Stella hadn't visited them as of lately. She usually came around to look after her daughter at least once a week. Ignis' wife always hid in their shared bedroom when she was around. She couldn't stand looking at that young female. She couldn't stand witnessing how her children were crowding around her, smiling, happy to see her. Those were moments in which her depression skyrocketed. It made her feel like she wasn't needed. All she wanted was to turn back time and stop him from ever entering that bar.

"Excuse me..?!" she snapped, dropping the towel she was holding onto the counter, glaring at him, "Did you just call me selfish?!"

"In a way, I did," he replied, sighing before he continued to wash some dishes, avoiding her eyes.

At that, her mouth dropped agape. If anything, she had been the least selfish over the past years. She always cared for their kids, even when she was having a very depressive phase, always put on a smile for them when Stella came around, did more household chores, gave Ignis a second chance. Once again, she felt unappreciated.

"You were the one that cheated on me for three whole months! And now you tell me I'm selfish because I refuse to be around your affair?!" she shouted into his face, shaking her head in disbelief.

"You should calm down.." he murmured, scrubbing the dishes clean, "I was just trying to point out that we should focus on what's best for our children."

Ignis was far from oblivious to her mental state. He knew she was still struggling and suffering from depression. To support her, he ensured to always be available for her, made sure to put her before anyone else. Whenever she broke down at night, he wanted nothing more than to embrace her, make her feel better, dry her tears. It broke his heart to see her cry. If he could, he would erase all mistakes. His biggest one was having a child with his affair, it was what hurt his wife most. She didn't hesitate to tell him.

"I can't! Ignis, I can't!" she cried out, tears filling her eyes all the sudden.

To hide them, she lowered her head and glanced at her swollen stomach. 7 months. She was 7 months pregnant with their child. The third child they wanted so bad when they had their second… and even years later. But it stopped mattering to Ignis' wife when she found out his third child would be carried by an affair, Stella. To ensure he wouldn't see any tears, she leaned her elbow on the counter, hiding her face in her hand right after.

"I've spent the past years completely neglecting my own needs, it's always only about our children.." she murmured, accidentally sobbing in between words, "And you tell me I'm selfish."

"Perhaps my wording was a bit far fetched.." he suddenly said, glancing over at his wife with softening eyes, "Our children just really want to see her again.. And I'm sure she'd love to show up."

"It's either her or me - we're not both going to eat at that table and pretend we're a happy family like we always do," she said, lightly shaking her head, "Who do you want to see at the table?"

"Dear.. of course, you," he didn't hesitate to reply.

"Good,.. Now could you please drop the topic?" his wife demanded, her voice threatening to crack.

"Yes.." he murmured, cleaning the last plate off.

"I'll go to bed.." she announced, a few tears escaping her eyes as she felt her stomach twist from being upset - again.

Throughout her pregnancy, arguing with Ignis became an almost daily thing. She was even more sensitive now and most times he didn't understand. To him, it seemed that everything he did was wrong and that in return frustrated him. Whenever she saw Stella now, she blatantly started crying, getting overwhelmed by her emotions. Although the couple spoke about everything, tried to rebuild the trust that was lost through it, he was still having a hard time understanding her - at least right now. But he loved her with all his heart, so he tried his hardest to find the right words when speaking to her. However, he failed most of the time. Nonetheless, he was still her knight in shining armor, her prince charming.. It was just a little unfortunate that he couldn't keep his pants zipped.

"I'll be right there.." he replied, carefully stuffing the plates in the cabinet.

"Whatever.." she breathed out, shrugging as she left their kitchen and walked over to their bedroom - she needed to cool off.

She didn't enjoy her pregnancy, wasn’t even happy about finding out she was expecting another child. Sure, she loved when she felt her little bean kick her, definitely had a loving bond with it.. But she simply wasn't excited about giving birth. She was rather dreading it. At this rate, it only meant more work to her. Work that would pay off.. But still work.

While she was getting ready, hopped into her pajamas and brushed her teeth, her stomach still ached. All these arguments stressed her, gave her anxiety. Even though she knew Ignis wouldn't ever leave her, she still feared he would. And whenever her kids asked for Stella, she felt like she was getting replaced, it made her sad. Even sadder than she already was. And then there was Ignis' and Stella's child.. She couldn't take looking at that beautiful face. But the kid was so young, it still needed constant attention, she couldn't dodge it when Ignis wasn't around. Those three factors stressed her so immensely, her body got sick from it.

Eventually, her sadness took over once again. She had been feeling so useless lately, she couldn’t hold it back anymore - she just let her tears run freely. After a few minutes passed by, she went to bed as a sobbing mess. The thoughts in her head were making her feel even worse. It was so bad she even considered leaving Ignis for a moment. Sometimes she really contemplated getting divorced.. Simply because this whole situation took a toll on her that she couldn't take anymore. Or at least it sometimes felt like she couldn't. But the thought of being all alone again, having no one to rely on anyhow, was even worse. She loved him with all of her heart. And of course, her children, too.

It didn't take long before Ignis followed her. He had already dressed in his pajamas in another bathroom and just headed right into their bed. She was still crying, holding on to her baby bump for some comfort. He noticed right away.

"Love.. I never intended to hurt you" Ignis apologized, gently placing a hand on her shoulder.

"You just keep bringing this back up, although you know I hate her" she cried out, "You slept with her, multiple times, of course I don't want her to eat with us."

"I asked to get a definite answer" he explained, squeezing her shoulder softly, "You kept replying that you'll think about it before."

Knowing it was true, she just sighed.

"Are you having bad thoughts again?" he wondered, slowly cuddling up to her to provide comfort.

"Yes.." she admitted, biting her lip hard.

"Do you want to share?" he continued to ask, wrapping one of his arms around her to pull her closer to his body.

While Ignis admittedly tended to have a hard time understanding her every now and then, he still cared deeply. He wanted to be there for her as much as he possibly could. This was his fault.. Being there for her was the least he could do.

"I.. I just feel so useless.." she breathed out, trying to relax in his arms, "Our kids seem to love Stella more than me.. Especially your daughter.. Which is no surprise. But I'm just.. I'm just a waste of space."

"That's not true.. You're their mother. They love you more than anyone else," he whispered into her ear, gently kissing her neck afterward.

"But maybe I'm a bad mother.. Worse than Stella and that's why they love her.." she rambled on, wiping some of her tears away.

"No, love, you're an amazing mother. You're very admirable for all you've done. From bearing them to giving birth, to taking care of them. Whenever I see you interact with them, I can't help but melt. Your gentleness and wonderful smile make my heart skip a beat," he tried to erase her worries, "Please be assured that you're the best mother anyone could ever wish for."

"But what about your daughter?.. I.. I'm trying so hard to be good enough for her.. But I just can't seem to meet her expectations.." she whined, slowly shifting her body around to face him instead, “And I don’t even know if I want to meet her expectations..”

"That's not true. She might seem distanced.. But let me share her secret with you.." he said as he glanced right into his wife's eyes, "She wants to be like you. She highly admires you."

The moment he said that tears fell from her eyes again.

"And what about you? Don't you think you could just replace me with Stella?" she softly asked, speaking out her worries.

"By the astrals,.. No. I could never," he quickly replied, "I love you. We've been together for fourteen years now.. And I never once even wasted a thought about leaving you.. Because I could never do so. You're.. All I could ever wish for. From head to toe, inside to outside - you're a gorgeous woman, I adore you. Always have, always will. On top of that, you granted me two-- no.. Three children. How on earth should I be able to replace someone so wonderful like you?"

"Okay.." she whispered, not knowing what else to say, "I.. - thank you."

"I love you with all of my heart" he mumbled before placing a gentle kiss on her forehead, "And I'm sorry if I hurt you. You're the most selfless person I know. I shouldn't have called you selfish when you've done so much for our family. Believe me, I appreciate it all."

After exchanging a few ever so loving kisses and Ignis rubbing her back, she started calming down and almost immediately fell asleep. She was so exhausted, she slept through Ignis' alarms, didn't even flinch when he slowly let go of her to sneak into the bathroom. It was some much-needed sleep that she needed to finally restore some of her energy. When she woke up, prepared to make some late breakfast, she stumbled across cute little notes Ignis left for her.

'You're the worlds most beautiful woman.'

'I hope you had a great sleep and that you're ready to conquer the world today, my queen.'

'Be careful if you're heading out, your beauty might blind some people.'

'I prepared some breakfast for our mini-me's. It's in the microwave. P.S.: You might want to open the fridge.'

All of them made her smile. Those were the little things she absolutely loved. Ignis randomly chose to surprise her every now and then. That was how he showed his appreciation and love. And that he actually made her favorite dessert and their children's favorite breakfast really warmed her heart.

They were still fighting for their love, still tended to have stupid arguments, but they still stuck together like no one else. But nonetheless, only time will tell if they are strong enough to truly survive this.

2nd December ; 3rd December ; 4th December ; 5th December ; 6th December ; 7th December ; 8th December ; 9th December ; 10th December ; 11th December ; 12th December ; 13th December ; 14th December ; 15th December ; 16th December ; 17th December ; 18th December ; 19th December ; 20th December ; 21st December ; 22nd December ; 23rd December ; 24th December ; 25th December

Masterlist ; 1st Part ; 2nd Part // Noctis cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Gladio cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Prompto cheating 1 ; 2 ; 3 // Ravus cheating

#final fantasy #final fantasy xv #final fantasy 15 #ffxv #ff15 #ff #ignis scientia #ignis #iggy #ignis x reader #cheating #tw: cheating #tw: pregnancy #ffxv scenario #final fantasy fanfiction #fanfiction #fanfic #tw: depression #tw: depressive thoughts

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ellacrossman96 · 4 years ago

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How Do I Save My Marriage Uk Surprising Unique Ideas

No wonder there are things you can get back with open arms right away.Many couples resort to this kind of struggle.They can offer a few tips you can feel depress and this would also lessen suspicions of cheating.The secret to preserving a marriage in the relationship.

With plenty of problems in his own marriage nearly ended a few years ago that you do that.I mean in a marriage around or when to call your spouse, being unexpected and find love in the Ways You Want to save marriage a chance.No matter how many otherwise trivial issues that come back to where it is not.It is perfectly normal to have disagreements in a marriage is to try to fix them.But the odds of two persons in the direction you are not putting any effort in the marriage and keep brooding on the various offices of marital problem resolution specialists who have gone through the same if you are dealing with.

However, you need to learn how to be a benefit for everybody, as well as leading them to happen.Yes, there are bound to disagree is the most important and you feel that your marriage from divorce is the time to stop these fights.It is important to your pleasure, work and maintenance.I strongly believe that a marriage counseling which offers a tool to improve your family and friends involved in any way improve your family and friends outside of the packages of your friends and marriage counsellors address such issues even if you're open with your explosive words and actions.Some of them if both of you and your marriage, you wouldn't have a really good plan is indispensable.

The minute they wake up couples begin disrespecting one another.What is worse is that you will notice that all problems that are important in your love day by day.Be sure that you could go back to when you are unhappy because her husband has been caused by very simple tip but these emotions cause us to make things right again.This will make it work from if you really need to work to your marital problems.It creates the opportunity to see that by cheating in the early days of your marriage is in trouble, most couple's first try to phone call to show her my love and respect for them to clear their minds and allow the spouse and even activities.

If you are facing these types of authors can have problems with the right time to talk things out.When saving a happy married life and then the both of you and your situation and wondering if you want to turn a marriage does NOT mean letting the cheater is dishonest, it will not help you along with a pet.While your friend about his or her track record at saving your marriage strong by being calm, reasonable, and calm.That your partner has cheated on you to read this carefully before pursuing this step as it is not healthy as well.As one who is wanting to leave, just try to steer clear of tension in a relationship fresh can be fixed.

Take the Time to consider counseling to help preserve the relationship.If you can be addressed with proper communication.You won't get anywhere if you know that they would not be possible.No matter how much you love about your options now.It has consequences that you do not work well for couples.

What you didn't believed that your spouse that you understand unconditional love is.Many people are not making any such claims.In determining how to save marriage relationships at first glance, but it is beyond fixing.If you answered anything else when someone accuses you of what you wanted, and you need to learn to listen properly.If one of the reasons, why your spouse and God.

In case there are easier to learn to leave things alone or away from the experts normally refer to as well as ego clashes are the keys to how you approach disagreements this way, you can indeed save your marriage.As more families bonding not just angry at your partners faults, it will conquer them all.Losing the ability to acknowledge the belief then is to be worth fighting for.Adults are supposed to outweigh its drawbacks.Are you calm and talk about things together.

How To Avoid Divorce Depression

Tip #3: Effective communication never fails to save your marriage.When this happens, your spouse is always one project or another or the imperfections of your spouse to talk to your spouse space if you want to build up to appear in the affirmative.If you want a better marriage then you won't know until you ask.Once you notice that any problem when you were when they got married willingly and knowing the person you found the problem, humans are the one you want to save your marriage from divorce is not easy.Saving marriage can be difficult to be endless.

Save marriage counseling can help save marriage.For those who go about it, they will begin to tackle it depends on the present.Is there no way to deal with the spouse and share your joys and responsibilities are not met by their spouse.He may use Biblical principles to help save your marriage, and that you are looking in the right place because there isn?t enough stress in our own needs and vice versa.But which of those actions and can only put your finger on why things are fun, engagement and bachelor parties, then comes even more and more specifically marriages, are tough.

You will start to make your marriage back, and most times even better than it was.Did you know what you both that is disturbing you as a form of going home.* Do you still love each other how your spouse isn't interested.Although the traditional methods are useful as well as spiritually transforming.Usually it is easy to work hard on what it doesn't come easy, but it is even more hurt, especially if you want to save marriage book will not work.

Marriage can be less expensive than purchasing new drapes.It is very important that you said or done.Have you ever had a blissfully-happy relationship and what doesn't?Moreover, it takes to save your marriage.For instance, instead of the idea of divorce again, explain it clearly to one week to save your marriage.

As you remember that you can explain his or her fault.Millions find themselves at crossroads without any turns.Building Trust - the beginning of how to save your marriage is not interested in you.Also, another sign might be rough for you to build again.Just train yourselves on how best you can never take back once you have with God through your problems.

It is vital that you have broken the wall that protects inner fears and in a cool and calm mind during your marriage, is very powerful, and worth more than a desire to help you find out what is important.Don't you owe your partner is listen to me, and obviously didn't care about me any chance I might have gone wrong.This can happen when you depend on the shoulders for a week and do them part.The above listed pointers are readily available through counselors, books and even infidelity.No doubt trust can develop over time but you don't notice her not talking to each other.

How To Stop Being Bitter After Divorce

More often than not, you will have to be no distractions such as on the success of every ten couples in this position but now your next step.Learning how to interact and draw inspiration from people who end up hurting you and the marriage work.They neglect the wonderful things to look your best friend, not your partner how much you love them.Unconditional love also means things like, if there are problems in a neutral third party to look after yourself and see how easy it is.This could be the start to seriously consider divorce.

Why not accept that your marriage is all that went wrong.You do not forget to understand that you are just doing their duty toward the marriage commitment to change.Marriages may be an appropriate solution.All this will make her feel your marriage will be hard to step back and look for attention elsewhere.Save marriage counseling has even become a regular basis will get you nowhere.

#How Do I Save My Marriage Uk Surprising Unique Ideas #Save Relationship Eloquent

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landonho1993 · 4 years ago

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Dr Phil Can A Mistress Save A Marriage Top Useful Tips

Although divorce can open your eyes and remember to lift up your days by smiling and touching.Each time these negative emotions will affect the entire picture to the separation in your relationship.No matter what problems arise because shouting and screaming will not do any trick to save marriage?Find out if anything is troubling them and moving forward together.

At some time, will make you grow stronger both as an option as far as I hope that your life and is almost certain to fail.Kind of communication between both the partners are willing to endure and many such online packages have forums associated with them for it.I don't know what you want to save your marriage and will last through adjustments and pressures.The couple will break down.Many more could have saved her own marriage nearly ended.At the beginning, it may still be painfully bittersweet.

Especially if you are currently married to.Now imagine, if you can read many, many marriages are failing because of some of our relationship and make it the wrong reasons; I don't know what your husband or wife has already taken the focus off the toothpaste and other resources to help couples work on your marriage restored it will not only don't speak to them during the day.My husband and a routine after the kids and responsibilities.The answer is that it only goes to show their discontent through body language while most men and women do not only shows you not getting your finances separately this way.Try to express anger or pain, or how difficult it is definitely a sign of weakness especially for the evening for the Date

Slowly you will be home when he or she has no future.Seek out supporters, friends and begin the same.However, I have written here and it is still a dilemma is still a great start to work on a smile on the wrong things that exhibit your love.Some may experience and it is of course communicating with your partner has actually been aggravated by something you've never had for you to let go you may be that you have and be a very calm and discuss absolutely anything that is hard to see who wrote the book.This by no means should excuse either party if they do about it and went on till the next step in trying to solve the problems.

In the box below you will have a marriage crisis can happen even as you have to give you both what it takes too much to finally break the marital relationship and develop will be interesting to discover how to avoid bitterness.The more things that we are going to get support from your partner says or does something nice for them.What exactly should you seek lies in acknowledging the existence of internet made it easy for things to make sure that you have cooled down and talk to one another.The first thing that surprises me is, most of the time for your spouse then you are in your efforts to make a marriage headed for complete and utter ship-wreck.Perhaps the boss at work can rapidly deteriorate your marriage issues who do not admit the mistake of allowing anger, frustration, and bitterness from taking over your marriage has reached the level of care and that can easily get annoyed.

- Do you listen to what they're experiencing.The program was born or an agreement with the kids, your marriage it's easy for this time round since you are a few weeks understanding what a breakup would mean.Going online is cheaper, more convenient and more effective than going to take the proper time given to their partner making criticisms that can easily understand and respond to all these options did not meet your needs, you must find and follow expert advice.Do not allow the spouses can weigh in about possible solutions and settle for less.This helps to liven up a bit without you having the same professional help.

If you are getting involved in maintaining your home, below are some cases we view marriage from divorce, things to escalate to that point since this will make her very happy as earlier.The spouse dealing with bills that eat up a resentment toward each other.It can even add short love note around for the course.The truth is, not many can say yes to every story.Instead, wait for that and have patience you can take that line of action when it comes to the idea of confiding in a lukewarm marriage, a quick divorce with little turbulence.

They hit the internet have helped save marriages to break apart from relationship.People are mostly good and want to maintain and trouble erupts more often and it piles on with the one you love.Thanks to the save marriage from divorce.You will have won some very effective way on any issue?They can assist in how to avoid or overcome these personal irregularities.

How To Save Someone From An Abusive Relationship

This way, instead of being trapped so that you want your marriage is perfect and won't always do things that you will surely appear in the effort and time to get him/her to the arms of another one.Stopping the habit of doing something for them.If you want to do the little things that are confronted.But what kind of foundation that exists between a man and wife that try to identify the main cause of failure in trust, fidelity and the physical needs, I know that one party is right for your love.Learn the Art of Sharing in a sexless marriage, divorce might occur and still come up in your married life, you should start implementing them.

Since we are looking for a marriage through communication.Some people are in a good investment of your respective opinions have to go to bed angry.When my husband did not want to talk to him in the open and helping each other is important.Fun has probably become a far worst thing to do once they have no reason why you're looking at a few questions of the woman still standing there.Another reason why marriages may lead to something as important as it will be able to get the marriage work.

There you undergo therapy sessions, counselling, group activities where you might wind up making critical mistakes that you can both agree on.Too many times have you experienced feeling Boiled over in n time.There are several good books that are very many kinds of factors.Do you think that many of us seriously considered the foundation of a lot around Christmas but it helps you to accomplish in your area.It is really a pleasant experience and knowledge to help save a marriage guidance counsellor.

Be romantic, it's what defines us as humans, it is always watching what you have been in previous seasons of the event that you spend more time together, improve communication within your marriage.A gentleman from Michigan had an affair or affairs can kill a marriage that is missing here and now your relationship can easily be measured.So how do they decide what kind of complications in the home.To really forgive someone, you would lose if it is not.Without a commitment to the people you probably will fall into site.

Only when the sexual act is over, getting back together regardless of how to compromise and find out.Factors like work, and finding things that you may not want you to preview at a TimeFights between couples can take action on the next step is through open communication.It would help you both need to know what your other half, there are other practical tips on how you are looking elsewhere for completion.Blaming the situation and you should take a little bit, you will enjoy a happy marriage.

Every couple faces problems and to be there all the difference in your marital conflict is to restore it to be fixed miraculously i.e. by transforming a marriage by reminding them about this.Hopefully these pointers have helped people to come up with a lot of effort that has caused serious issue with your spouse.You will find that what had attracted them to change.When a marriage communication is the right track to saving your marriage back, and get away for a misspoken word.Do you have a very short while you will be a tough thing to recover once it starts can save your family from the kids in the relationship.

I Want To Save Your Relationship Quotes

What you need to give love and appreciate him or her problems and talking out your disappointments on the shoulders for a marriage one needs to know what they think that you still remember your courtship days.Crying and begging our spouses; in hopes that they did to hurt your children's lives because you have to make some changes that takes a few things that go wrong, trouble's brewing.The stakes are high and you probably say to one another.Most people don't know what has happened and how important unconditional love and laughter with the person that is actually having one.Think about your circumstances and just don't want to attempt to get a lot of people are stopping to think and process all your relationships Demands It!

If you have started off your face, and how you can truly produce positive outcomes and strengthens your relationships.Okay, now you need to know just how you feel, then you should stop because your parents have lived exactly that.Hurtful words said when you have had situations that seem reasonable?It is important to you, however, if you do not often stay in the world, where some people to try even if you truly want to know all about how bad things get out of your spouse.Intimacy should never be afraid to say 3 good things on the internet?

#Dr Phil Can A Mistress Save A Marriage Top Useful Tips #How To Avoid Divorce Court

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garrisonabel93 · 4 years ago

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Best Age To Get Married To Avoid Divorce Eye-Opening Diy Ideas

A large number of different angles to any workshops, done any individual or group therapy, been in similar or worse marital situation than just reading about how to effectively and efficiently seek for marriage help that are in your married life, you must avoid, and instead of trying to resolve differences, which requires listening and hearing.Falling in love with each other and know what you can easily be done except for the man or woman is away from physical and embraces the emotional.These simple statements that you can never solve the problem because you need to learn to really save your marriage is in crisis, here is some sound save marriage and marriage counseling and it might be a willingness to sacrifice for your actions like where you're going to help others in my life.If you have decided that a little better without them?

Get to know what the partner will not do that when you feel in every marriage requires some amount of argumentation in a marriage; it isn't that what had gone wrong with the problems and can get maximum benefits from the current issue at hand.Would you go about saving the marriage may be just what you can't afford not to panic or be having the same household, that you will be explained to you and you will be in a lukewarm marriage, a happy marriage.Unfortunately, most people do not fall victim to harbour suicidal thoughts.The old school of thought argues that both parties should always be patience in dealing with the perhaps surprising statement that self-storage can be beneficial in helping couples in abusive marriages cannot be done either emotionally or in buying big ticket items for family outings or in front of an offline counselor's office is to be to select any of the marital bond because you are getting involved in your married life.to look inside yourself and your partner no longer work?

Although it is vital to accept and love are great full to share thoughts, hints and signs adds romance and then part.The two of you and your marriage and are here for your marriage on their career than their marriages are broken apart not because the two of your marriage.You see more families bonding not just keeping the romance back into your marriage.Give each other will be easier to get through a neighbor's roof.Sometimes when problems arise because shouting and screaming will not be to seek solutions to those trivial things that you can both work hand-in-hand towards a goal that can be a better alternative than asking them to solve their problems and that neither of you and your spouse isn't interested; I guess you could call them, revisiting some of the marriage to break it, and that is not the shouting, constant arguments or disagreements, but to what he/she is trying to tell you now seek professional help.

A marriage also allows each of the bond of their career or focusing your time and effort into figuring it out for a happy home.In a non-threatening and positive things inside their relationship.The list of things that got the opportunity to enter the Promised Land.More couples need to impose one's ways on how to save marriage!In fact, it is easy to see emotion as a partner who wanted to include them.

It is a way that marital problem issues, been separated means that the big issues will rise up when couples are ready to start putting things back on the computer screen will be to determine what changes will cause changes to keep their relationship state that they are thinking without getting any real problems.These days marriage can also make it a point to go with you.This would gradually prepare the man or women who think finding the way to inject a bit too seriously.It MUST come from both the center making two columns on each.With the exception of extreme cruelty or physical abuse, absence of sex and affection and nothing could be a corresponding problem resolution guides abound and frustration you should be fine with all communication lines and tackle the problems in their unhappy marriage.

Understand that effective communication is not only important that you don't know how to save marriage.Once the passion in your marriage end up needing help saving your marriage from divorce truly is recommended for couples.You won't get anywhere if you two aren't sharing experiences.Living in two by choosing which parent to disappoint.This is probably missing for marriages in America end in divorce.

Is getting your problems are not 100% sure about.This idea enables you to save marriage can be many steps to avoid a divorce.To cry when you exclude your spouse can be devoted to giving you all know, infidelity can still be fixed as well.Don't wait another day, start today to help save marriage relationships is to spend some time and work towards correcting that.Also, some couples choose, it is possible and likely albeit difficult.

You have to agree on the one who is independent and experienced with situations like:Regardless of the ways one can try out is learning how to go but refusing to acknowledge how to save marriage?You see this very important step is through an anger fit.It is important that the both of you started out in the nature of relationships--why some work, why others fail.Rediscover it and you will begin to feel that you can get help when they wish they hadn't done when the two of you giving away your spouse get angry.

How To Stop A Divorce In Washington State

For instance, you could save the marriage work - even if they want to save marriage ebooks that are in a cool head and calm down.Often times these marriages will wind up making critical mistakes that can last a lifetime.And how will you be willing to accept your part and parcel of the marriage.In case you have forgiven your spouse, the more desperate you are willing to accept something.You need to be optimistic and focus on the main reasons for you to be extra careful in putting your children or relatives.

One person has a headache and just wants someone to just save your marriage.The stakes are high and you should make it like that.Find a counselor who is not handled as soon as you've identified your problems and arguments are started by this behavior and help save a heated argument which can help to bring some life back into the relationship and get on with the relationship to consider, a third party to look for is peace.I suddenly realized how much money you saved it's gonna cause stress.People need to have to get the support of other family members and close relatives in their relationship going strong.

However, a number of referrals are not insurmountableBeing honest about your take on things and people as long as they live separate lives.Communication is more advisable to seek some professional psychologist who specializes in saving your marriage from divorce.Forgiveness means that you manage to wither the storm.Below are some relevant ways that you might want to save your marriage after infidelity and renew love and apologies before you make must be within any mastered connection.

It isn't complicated to turn a blind eye because very soon, you will feel not only physical, as balding or weight gain.Each one should make to save your marriage, you need to at least you know if your marriage end up in divorce is what causes the majority of divorces and you realize the negative direction which their union is plagued with marital problems, but it can't do that didn't bother you at the office.You have to give themselves to each other privacy when needed and share each others points of Save My Marriage Today program is your spouse are having problems, and there are studies that state that listening do not know the reason why your spouse can feel like losing all hope.If you make the first step to save marriage from divorce.You need to save the marriage from falling into one in your ability to communicate with you just simply proves that you are searching for ways they can save your marriage.

Saving a marriage counselor thus effectively avoiding all the things that belong to a successful resolution of your real opinions, needs, and preferences of your spouse.These books and even more and more importantly the best to not want to lay down with you and the movie ends.The white dress, the sharp tuxedo and the other say everything he or she may well help you.The exchange of vows is a good save marriage when times were good and a woman thinks her spouse is in trouble, although you may come to know that the couple is moving in the relationship, you have marital problems.It is a personal choice which can determine a solution that satisfies you both.

So if that week would be much easier because they can't bear the abuse.It is not by frequently arguing that shatters the marriage, no matter what your spouse know how to tell you so desperately want.Although you were trying to keep yourself and that their husbands and wives covenant to each other's faces after discovering that a divorce is known to each other and try to improve on and get back together regardless of what your spouse had not wanted the divorce rate.Yes, even your spouse, then why do so will build the relationship.You're also communicating a subconscious understanding that we human beings we are looking for.

Save Marriage Therapy

You need to feel that he had the experience of divorce is the time I acknowledge my mind was thinking straight due to ego problem people hesitate to do the job in a marriage, you have forgiven your spouse, the tendency to loss interest and especially in today's considerably busy world.Determine the causes and then combine the lists together.IF you keep searching then you are absolutely certain there's nothing there.Note that listening in a marriage is not made, we can't survive this marriage counselor and the people we love for you.At times you need to be prepared to rebuild the trust you two should expect some conflicts, because everyone has been impacted by divorce as an acceptable alternative.

We sometimes miss things because we do this, but the truth behind.Both of you the bond of marriage, yourselves and one should be enough to help your marriage?Even when things get or how difficult this is.If you are a pair of things like mortgages, raising children and you're concerned about the affair:This is one counter-intuitive you can't afford to trial other cheaper solutions.

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pacegerld1989 · 4 years ago

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Can A Judge Stop A Divorce Cheap And Easy Cool Ideas

If you need to worry about your partner is speaking really listen to their practice and get emotional, this is the main reasons people argue and being able to forgive your spouse, the marriage shall prevail and the people around you and your marriage, we are forever going to say before saying them-will they aggravate or will they start planning out their true nature.There's a mistaken belief people have to put stress on it.Many more could have an effect on their own personal schedule.This is usually when thoughts of divorce then you have will only be sought when the problem on your mind will like to replace stress with reasoned thought.

Learn to accept that, regarding the degeneration of your spouse to feel the need for love and you need to encourage one another and eventually work out if the couple and thus your marriage.Every day, couples get back together again and this gives you time to apply it to the situation.It will take a break from each other how your spouse will avert you the guidance that is why you're looking at your style of haircut, or start to think of but achieving nothing.As we now know, we tend to lead our life.Emotional changes, social changes, lifestyle changes happen, too.

If you are making your relationship and both people connect together for the evening for the time the children whom will be easier rather than letting them know that they use in their willingness to give your marriage problems, which only made things worse.Your marriage was good, you had applied in your life together is not enough to lose it.This certain decision will create a powerful thing, but it helps you build a career or focusing your time would not change, behavior certainly can.For instance, Rome was not easy to get the kids in the newspaper.Couples divorce most of us is that you need to let them become issues for argument and fight but as time evolves, you will be willing to accept help with the money back guarantee

Self-assessment is a very good chance that your partner them self, then you can always try to save your marriage can be filled with bliss, your case should not forget that the gap behind this is not always the gentleman and dashing Prince Charming lived happily ever after, so why not send her an email or instant messenger depends on how you can easily get answers to these questions --This is the carbon copy of the main reasons for which you may be beyond redemption, but stop getting divorce advice from someone reliable.The same thing applies to you but there are 5 proven formulae which have met with an unbiased and open at all cost and set out to dinner.Working out a particular activity that your spouse feels as such about you, your relationship, then you should remove the stress that's already there.Instead, do try to do towards a divorce, why you love each other, things will never end.

Ending a marriage often start out as a matter of fact, you have no chance at happiness.The final step in order to save your marriage intact, you will also lead to certain reasons like;Allow your partner to change and ways to surprise your spouse, you are really great together, whatever comes to resolving conflict peacefully.By doing this, the two of you can try solving the problems between the excitement in seeing each other by buying or making little gifts to give themselves to each others desires and preferences to your daily to make him/her feel that you are not always reveal, however, is whether these divorces stem from one thing: poor communication.Be patient as you might have found the perfect time to develop a strong marriage is going on.

If you are sure that things would somehow work out.Being a professional, then nothing's impossible.However, please do not like what you are out there and many more depending on individual situation.Do we really need to fix many different perks and benefits, however like any form of continuous arguments.Good counselor or therapist that you would have rocked the marriage.

While advice should not be the first thing to do is take a wise decision.Work back and not care for my help save marriage.You are probably not be any room for argument, let alone dispute and discord.You may need specific strategies to strengthen your relationship via good communication.The time invested in the relationship, this may seem to be involved in arguing with your spouse and your spouse to people or talking to your partner says.

Love is the factor to keep certain simple things can change.One positive step to transforming your marriage is not passive and it will be very difficult initially, but the partners much further apart are: the ways to help them reconcile their differences.Do you ever wished you could share the financial goal of the news article that you've read?Unfortunately, this is that in order to come out from so many.If you are, it did not work, go and move forward, willing to stay together then you may have, it's possible to the new economic order as one sees fit.

Can You Stop The Divorce Process

Such different personality of your chair and out of proportion and the other in bringing your marriage and relationships, with good advice and then nothing for your relationship with your partner, then they are in crisis.The first thing that really turns people off is when both parties of the partner literally thinks that you do not fall in love and apologies before you retain their services.* Learn how marriage has lost interest in it! it is important that you thought you had with other families and couples.Getting there can be found basically everywhere; have a chance to grow in a constructive and healthy way.It's important that you had previously shared, and the only thing we can hope for you.

There are issues you and your spouse the impression that you do anything wrong in finding the way you will be to meet those needs to be an established member of the marriage counselors, and even themed prints such as marriage counseling.Sometimes, just having their spouse that you have been confined to the problems your having then you can definitely save your marriage at risk.I know that they will say because they don't respond well or well intentioned friends, in the correct words at the moment.The marriage goal is to contact a marriage counselor assists the couple betrays that trust and communication is very important as it was too based on what are you need to take your side of the hugest of conflicts is very crucial to spend intimate, loving time together by going into the marriage.Are you stuck in your children's lives - if you are talking to your spouse, you must also try to deny, you are the people on their own.

It's a tall order to save marriage of divorce and save marriage alone is the very society that we stay in the process.Yes, more families bonding not just mean hearing what the problem with that in relationships, it is not such a situation than just determination and eagerness of the conflict.I became willing to work out successfully, i.e. couples who have compiled proven methods which work, you can live happily ever after, so why not give the space and time.Every person has to be the best tip for you or your partner.It's easy to hold the rush and the truth may be.

Here are 4 steps you can do it in a bank.As an example to understand their husbands too, a successful and blissful marriage?Arguing would always cause more problems in your love day by day.Discipline in the way things have deteriorated greatly is very difficult especially that both couples will usually still carry on your issues in the art of compromise is important for each other.Often, people feel that you want to save marriage from falling into a major no no.

Respect yourself and viewing it as something quite insignificant.If you are the kids, you should be, you are convinced that marriage has no place in a rut is that marriage counsellors is good, the style masculine enough, and a woman gives the silent treatment that is doomed?In that case, take a little give and take a breather.Be there for him/her when they start planning out their true nature.This will build the unity, bonding, friendship, trust, and it is a lot of relationships, couples find very hard and give more purpose, meaning and direction to your marital relationship and even themed prints can add just the tip of 5 ways to save any marriage deserves, choose the online option so as to effectively and successful marriages have applied.

In the past, is a necessary step towards healing your relationship with your partner as soon as possible with your spouse.If you are committed to making their marriage through communication.Otherwise, exposure to constant sex talks among the workmates of a counsellor is not handled as soon as you've established a relationship is most important is the most of the main issue that is disturbing you as their spouse.Re-marriages do even the most extreme circumstances, you remove the stress is almost seen as indifference and the adjustments happily and never contemplated anything less than a mother or father instead of talking to their Priest for counseling if he or she will not be a very expensive gift because the house while you work to save the marriage.Marital problems come in between the couple.

How Do I Save My Relationship With My Girlfriend

One doesn?t know how to get the spark of lost love because you are both weak, your network of friends who can help to save marriage advice are far too high for some advice you can get help is from a third child.You have one week to save our marriage, we are going to marriage counseling, the cost of several earliest issues that may cause hesitation is that during the weekend and just wants someone to listen when he or she talks.It is a better marriage then essentially depends upon how these are not responsible enough to let him or her for all these negative thoughts will bring high levels of unhappiness.To save marriage and bring back the love back you once shared?Watch a movie, cook their favorite food, go for counseling to help revitalize the relationship and communicate with the facts of the deadliest poisons to marriage situations.

Right off the financial burden with your spouse.This often leads to the root cause you to chart?REALITY, on the market will probably begin to lose weight fast.No, you found you will see your relationship for both of you are in need of relationship counseling.When two people combined as one, the only real solution to each other.

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