#Can A Landlord Throw Out My Belongings? (In Florida?) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked · 6 years ago

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New Beginnings (Part 1)

Frank Adler X OFC

A/N: I literally spent like FOREVER working on this storyboard LOL I hope you enjoy this series! Ignore the piece of shit wattpad cover... It looked too plain, and I wanted a picture. *shrugs*

Warnings: None really... yet. Swearing, mostly.

Main Masterlist // Series Masterlist

“It’s too hot, here.” Annie sighed to herself, air conditioning cranked to the max in her older model truck. Honestly, how do people like this weather? “What do you think, Elena?” She glanced up in the rearview mirror, spotting her snoring toddler in her car seat.

With an eye roll, she went back to concentrating on the busy road, squinting behind her sunglasses to find her little street. “Seriously, kid? We’ve only been driving for, like, twenty minutes.”

Florida was a completely different atmosphere than northern Minnesota.

It was a million times hotter, there were more people in the major cities, and the people were always so busy. Luckily, Annie could get used to the warmer weather, considering she’d decided to move in mid-September. It was still hot as shit in Minnesota, but she knew that would change fairly quick. Minnesota weather was completely unpredictable, but Annie had respected that. She was used to dealing with the rain, heat, snow, and cold – sometimes all in the same damn week.

Now, she was going to have to learn to respect the tropical weather – considering she was moving to Florida during hurricane season.

Hurricanes were nothing like tornadoes…

If there was a hurricane any time soon, she was going to have a goddamn heart attack.

It was a bright, sunny day, though. She picked a great day to leave the hotel and move into her new… apartment? The landlord had called it an apartment, but the pictures made it look more like a small house; and though she hadn’t seen the place in person, she already loved it. It was the only pink house in the little community that she’d found on a renters website.

Moving had been a spur of the moment decision, on her part, because… well… her parents… they died in a car accident back in early June.

Her dad had hydroplaned during a particularly bad thunderstorm, causing the car to collide with a large semi-truck, and they’d lost their lives. Luckily, the other driver was unharmed. Her brother, Gavin, had been on his way home to visit from his first year at North Dakota State University when the accident had occurred.

Unfortunately, Annie and her small toddler, Elena, had been at home – waiting on their arrival back from the store.

Receiving the news about their parents’ deaths devastated the siblings. Elena was too young to understand why her mother and her uncle were huddled together on the couch, sobbing uncontrollably, awaiting the arrival of their grandparents to help with funerals and insurance. Gavin’s girlfriend, Grace, had driven all night to come to Gavin and Annie’s rescue. She helped cook and clean, and she helped with Elena – much to Annie’s admiration.

Gracie had been a friggin’ godsend to the siblings.

When Annie and Gavin decided to sell the family home, they – drunkenly – decided the best thing for Annie to do was throw a dart at a map of the United States and choose a state.

Because mixing alcohol and darts was the best idea they could come up with.

After three tries to get the damn dart to stick in the damn board, it landed near Tampa, Florida. Not wanting to completely live in the city, they’d done some online research and found the apartment – at an amazing price – which was move-in ready by the beginning of September.

That was the reason for the 1,900-ish mile trip from Thief River Falls, Minnesota, to the little town outside of Tampa, Florida. The landlord – Roberta – had promised that the place would be painted, carpets would be cleaned or replaced, and that the place was quite spacious for a single-mother and a toddler.

Not that Annie couldn’t afford to do all the work herself, after she received the ghastly life insurance – blood money – check with too many zeros. Her and her brother split the check down the middle for life insurance, and the house. He got their mother’s fancy Jeep, and she got her father’s old – but reliable – pickup truck. It made more sense, with the move. Not that she had much stuff to move, anyways. She’d wanted a clean break from her life in Minnesota. She’d broken things off with her boyfriend, Lance, and donated all her belongings – only keeping the important items.

The usual type of ‘I need a change of scenery after my parents’ deaths’ move.

Right?

Her brother tagged along on the trip with her, to make sure that the apartment was really ready. All the while, Annie found a job at a local elementary school as an office secretary, which provided daycare for Elena.

Unfortunately, Gavin had to leave early in the morning, due to college starting back up and having an early exam he needed to finish studying for.

So, he had to catch a flight at an ungodly hour, earlier that morning.

“We’re almost to our new home, Mija.” Annie smiled, knowing full well that her daughter was still snoring away in the back seat. That kid could sleep through anything. “You shouldn’t be napping. It’s almost ten in the morning. You should be wide awake, kid.”

Glancing at her phone – which was attached to a vent-clip, so she could see the GPS – she realized that she’d actually missed the turn into the neighborhood, prompting her to sigh in frustration. Whipping around when she could, she followed the road back to her turn, which was partially hidden by a few annoying trees.

Commit that to memory, Annie.

…Stupid ass trees.

“Elena, baby, time to wake up.” When Annie entered her little neighborhood, she reached back to gently shake her daughter’s chubby, little, tan leg. “We’re home.” Annie immediately knew which house was hers… since the bright pink stuck out like a sore thumb. She loved it! “Mija, look.”

She heard the grunt and whine of her little girl, who was not a happy baby when she was woken from a nap. Elena – who’s dark hair, dark eyes, and tanned skin resembled her father – was glaring at her from her car seat, pissed off. Though Elena’s features didn’t resemble Annie’s, in the slightest, her facial expressions completely matched Gavin’s facial expressions – much to Annie’s dismay and humor.

“Oh, come on, Mija.” She laughed, pulling into her designated parking space – which was a small, grassy area next to her new home. “At least show me your beautiful smile. Today’s a happy day.”

The second the car stopped moving, Elena started straining against the bonds of her car seat, lip protruding in a pout and whining loudly.

“Alright, alright.” Annie sighed, unbuckling her own seatbelt, before reaching for the door. She was immediately hit with a wave of humid heat, which seeped into the air conditioned truck and fogged the windows. “Fuck, it’s hot.”

She hopped down, her five foot three inch stature appearing even smaller next to the height of her dad’s older truck. Walking around the front of the truck, she saw a young girl running around in one of the yards, blonde hair swishing behind her as she chased around a fat, orange and white cat. A woman, who was seated on her concrete steps, was laughing, watching the young girl with the adoration a mother would have for a child.

Speaking of children…

Annie ripped open the door, unbuckling her own child from her car seat and turning back towards their new home.

The pastel pink home had a lot of character, reminding Annie of a small doll house she’d had as a child. The plants around the house looked as if they’d been well cared for, the concrete steps – though slightly uneven – were lined with a metal railing, which would be good to have when Elena learned how to walk properly down the stairs, versus sliding down on her butt or belly. The roof looked a little worn, but that was understandable with Florida’s stormy weather, and the accents of the house were a newly painted white.

The neighborhood, though dated, looked beautifully kept-up.

Elena, whose mood had improved in the last couple minutes, whined to be let down and thrashed against Annie – pissed that she wasn’t immediately able to run around and cause a ruckus.

“Stay close to mommy, okay?” Annie told her, setting her down on the grassy lot, “Mommy doesn’t know this neighborhood, yet.”

Elena immediately ran circles around Annie’s pale legs, which were donned in some jean shorts, and started a fit of giggles – stomping around like a tiny, little weirdo.

“Let’s get the stuff from the back, yeah?” She smiled, watching Elena run to a bush to check out the little yellow flowers blooming, eyes full of wonder. “Then we can tour the house.”

Ignoring her, Elena picked a flower from the bush, plopping down on her butt and examining the flower with her dark brows pushed together in concentration – slightly humming to herself.

With a small chuckle, Annie moved to the back of the truck, moving the cover back so she had access to the few belongings that she’d brought with. There were only a few boxes of belongings and necessities, three suitcases, a portable crib for Elena, a large cooler of food Annie had purchased that morning, some grocery bags, and a blow up mattress for Annie.

That was it… At least, until the furniture arrived.

Grabbing Elena’s things first, she hauled them off the truck, calling for Elena to follow her as she brought them to the front steps. Elena, who had thrown the poor flower onto the ground and trampled it to a mangled mess, toddled over to the front door.

After struggling to get the door unlocked with her arms full, Annie stepped into their new home for the first time, followed by Elena’s little body.

The carpets – which had been replaced, recently – where a brilliant off-white, as were the walls. The front door lead into the living room, which – though small – was perfect size for the Annie and her toddler.

Gently setting her belongings down, she stood there for a moment to take it all in.

She took a deep breath, the natural floral scent of her new house – which covered the smell of fresh paint – wafting through the open windows and tickling the inside of her nose. They’d probably been opened earlier that morning to let the breeze naturally cool the house a bit, since it was hot as balls.

To her left was the kitchen, which was a little more dated than the living room but did have newer appliances. There was a back door, in the kitchen, which was closer to the yard that the young, blonde girl and the older woman had occupied previously. The kitchen was big enough for a small kitchen table, and Annie could already picture how she wanted to decorate.

Luckily, white and light wood were easy to work with.

So many options…

There was a hallway that connected the kitchen to the two bedrooms and one bathroom. The bigger bedroom was, obviously, Annie’s. It was big enough that she could fit a queen size bed and a dresser with plenty of room to walk back and forth – not that she’d spend much time in her bedroom, anyways. The second bedroom would be perfect for Elena to have a crib, a small double bed for guests, and a large bin for her toys.

Annie, in awe of her new home, carried Elena’s portable crib and suitcase to her new bedroom. “This is your room, Mija! Do you like it?”

Elena followed Annie into the bedroom, frowning at her new environment with the look that Gavin got when he was thinking hard. Her little dark brows were pulled together, pink lips pursed into a tight frown, and eyes narrowed as she scanned the area.

God, she was never allowed near her uncle, again. Those two were peas in a freaking pod.

“Once we get it decorated, you’ll like it more.” Annie sighed, thankful that the only stairs in the house were the front steps. “Stay here while mommy gets the rest of our things, okay?”

Elena ignored Annie, again, going for the zipper on her suitcase and trying to unzip it, herself.

While the toddler was distracted, Annie quickly started hauling her items into the home, putting each box and suitcase in the appropriate bedroom and making a mental list of things she was going to order online and shop for.

Once all of their possessions were out of the truck, Annie set to work on setting up the portable crib for Elena and the air mattress for herself.

Shit, why do the stupid sides never want to lock up? Why did you have to become a magic fucking wizard to set up a portable crib?!

A knock sounded at the back door, startling her while she made up Elena’s bed – after she somehow got the sides to lock up.

She didn’t know anyone, yet… Who would knock on her door?

Maybe the landlord?

She did say that she was going to check in…

Annie, leaving Elena to play with her book in her bedroom, made her way towards the back door, spotting the woman and child from earlier – the young girl holding a giant plate of chocolate chip cookies, with an annoyed frown on her face.

“Well, hello.” Annie smiled, opening the back door and waving them inside the empty kitchen. “I’m Annie O’Hara. Are you my new neighbors?”

“I’m Roberta. I’m the landlord.” The older, dark-skinned woman smiled, a hand on the young girl’s shoulder. She recognized Roberta’s voice from speaking to her on the phone. “This is Mary.”

“Hi, Mary.” Annie greeted, opening the door wider to let the duo step inside. “You can come in if you’d like. I still have to order the furniture, though, so there’s not really anywhere to sit.”

“We wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.” Roberta chuckled, entering the home with Mary following closely behind. “It’s been a while since we’ve had new neighbors, but Bernadette’s health just kept declining… Her children had her in assisted living, before she passed.”

“I take it Bernadette was the previous tenant?” Annie asked, leaning against the counter and watching as Mary set the plate of cookies beside her. “She kept the place up really nice. This house looks like it’s seen some love.”

“She loved to tend to her plants. It was therapeutic for her.” Roberta sighed, leaning against the wall opposite from Annie. “She, also, made a mean apple pie.”

“Well, I haven’t baked in a long time, but I do love to cook.” Annie shrugged, crossing her arms over her chest, “My daughter likes my homemade macaroni and cheese.”

“You have a daughter?” Mary asked, eyes lighting up and all traces of a frown disappearing. “How old is she?”

“She’s almost two.” Annie replied, lips lifting into a smile at the potential play-mate for her daughter. “She loves to run around outside if you want to meet her.”

“Can I meet her?” Mary grinned, practically vibrating with excitement. “We haven’t had any kids in the neighborhood in forever.”

“Of course, you can.” Annie pushed away from the counter, walking towards the hallway and calling out, “Elena, come here, Mija!”

The sound of uneven footfalls stomping around the hall could be heard from the kitchen as Elena ran from the bedroom to where Annie was calling her name. She came barreling around the corner, a large grin on her face, and an excited cry echoing through the empty house.

Scooping her giggling form from the ground, Annie gave her a sloppy kiss on her little cheek. “This is Elena.”

“Hi, Elena.” Mary waved, excitement rolling off of her in waves. “Can I show her my cat? His name is Fred. He has one eye.”

“Only one eye?” Annie asked, cocking a confused brow as she tried to keep her hold on her struggling toddler – who still wanted to run around and explore. “What happened to his other one?”

“Don’t know. He doesn’t like to talk about it.” Mary shrugged, like she’d answered the question multiple times, before. “Can Elena meet Fred? I think he would like her.”

“Of course.” Annie held the door open for the duo, still holding Elena, before following them outside into the sun. “Elena loves animals.”

Setting Elena into the plush grass, Mary grabbed her little hand, leading her into the other yard, where the orange, monocular cat was stretched out – sunbathing. Roberta and Annie sat down on the steps, watching the young girls as they pet the rotund cat.

“So, is Mary your daughter?” Annie asked, watching as Elena gently pat the cat on the side of the belly. “She’s adorable.”

Roberta laughed, leaning back so the sun was shining on her face. “Does she look like my daughter?”

“I’m a pale, Irish redhead.” Annie shrugged, closing her eyes as the sun warmed her arms and cheeks. “Does Elena look like my daughter?”

“I guess not.” Roberta replied, and Annie could hear the smile in her tone. “As much as I wish she was mine, she’s not. I just love spending time with her.”

“Well, hopefully her and Elena can spend some time together, too.” Annie opened her eyes to watch the young girls run around the yard, chasing the cat. “Elena doesn’t have much interaction with other children.”

“Where’s her father, if you don’t mind me asking?”

“Mexico.” Annie replied, a small wave of guilt washing over her. “I was on spring break when I met her father. Marco worked at a bar just outside of Cancún, where we met. We had a small fling, and one thing led to another… I didn’t get his number or any other information on him, because it was just a one night stand, so I couldn’t exactly contact him.”

She gulped, getting that lump in her stomach that appeared any time she thought about how other people perceived her after learning the truth about Elena’s conception. “I remembered that… I remembered his mother’s name was Elena, though. I wanted to make sure Elena knew her heritage, as much as I could. I’m trying to learn Spanish and named her after her grandmother. I want to educate myself, so she doesn’t feel like she’s missing a part of herself, you know?” Annie frowned, watching Elena giggle as she ran away from Mary. “I googled the bar, after Elena was born… but it burnt down. I have no idea where Marco could be, or even what his last name was.”

“So, you’ve been raising her all on your own?”

“My parents were a big help,” Annie’s shoulders sagged in grief, the familiar pang of loss ripping through her chest. It was never going to get easier to mention them… “They died back in June, and my brother’s in college at NDSU in North Dakota… So, I decided it was time to move on. I needed a change, as cliché as that is.”

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Roberta laid a warm hand on Annie’s arm, face soft with sympathy. “Losing your parents is hard. I know the pain. I’m sorry you have to experience it so young.”

“I’m just glad to have Elena, Gavin, and Grace – his girlfriend.” Annie smiled, sun starting to leave her pale skin a little pink. “I’m sorry that you know the pain of losing your parents. When did it happen?”

“Oh, honey, it was years ago. Eventually, you learn to appreciate the time you had with them, instead of missing the time you didn’t.” She sighed, patting Annie’s arm before looking over at a truck that was pulling up a few houses down. “Frank’s here. He’s Mary’s uncle. More of a father than any man I’ve ever met.”

Annie watched as Mary abruptly stopped running, a large grin stretching her face as she spotted the older truck. “FRANK!” Mary shrieked, running toward the taller man who was exiting the truck.

“Shit.” Annie whispered as Elena followed Mary, confused that they were no longer playing, and going to investigate. “Elena! Mija!”

Annie jumped up, jogging after the toddler, who had already made her way over to the confused man and joyous child. Mary, who had jumped into her uncles’ arms for a moment, squatted down next to Elena – who was holding her arms out to Mary to pick her up – and lifted her with a small grunt, talking to Frank.

“Frank, this is Elena.” Mary introduced, as Annie quickly made her way over, “Her and her mom are our new neighbors. They’re where Bernadette used to live, before she got too old.”

Frank was a tall man, tee shirt tightly stretching over his broad shoulders but bunching up at his narrow waist. He looked as if he had just gotten home from work, arms and tee shirt stained with oil and grease. His face was unshaved, but kept pretty tame, and he was tan – as if he worked outside.

The look in his eyes was one of a parent, and he looked at Mary like she was his entire world, tired eyes lighting up at the sight of the blonde, little girl.

Well, shit, Annie thought to herself, He’s attractive.

“Mary.” Frank sighed, shaking his head, trying not to smile. “That’s not a polite way to put it.”

“What! She was!” Mary shrugged, as Elena laid her head on Mary’s shoulder in exhaustion from running around. She spotted Annie and gestured over to the woman. “That’s Annie. Elena’s mom.”

“Hi! Sorry about Elena! She really likes Mary.” Annie smiled, brushing her stray red hair from her face, holding out her free hand to Frank. “I’m Annie O’Hara. I just moved into the pink house.”

Frank cocks a brow at her, blue eyes scrutinizing her as he grasped her hand with a stiff handshake. “Frank Adler.”

“Nice… to meet you?” Annie replies awkwardly, watching as Mary and Elena run towards the cat. “Your niece is such a sweet girl. Elena is already fascinated by her. They’ve been playing since Roberta and Mary came to meet us.”

“Nice.” Frank replied, curtly. He watched Mary, paying no attention to Annie as Mary and Elena plopped down in the grass to pet Fred.

“Anyways…” Annie gulped, starting to awkwardly walk away. “Nice meeting you.”

“Yep.” He replied, turning and walking towards his house, before calling out to Mary. “Mary, come eat lunch.”

“Okay!” Mary called back, standing quickly, and turning to Elena. “I have to go eat lunch. We can play, later, okay?”

“Come on, Mija.” Annie walked over, scooping Elena up from the ground, dusting the grass from her little shorts. “Say ‘bye-bye’ to Mary.”

Elena lifted her hand, waving her hand back and forth with a small pout, and Mary ran off to her house.

Well… that was awkward. Annie thought to herself, shaking off the negative vibes from the encounter. He was kind of a dick. Jeez.

Annie and Elena made their way back over to Roberta, who was still sunbathing on Annie’s step. “I don’t think Frank likes me much.”

“What makes you say that?” Roberta frowned, dark eyebrows pulling together, confused. “Was he rude to you?”

“Not exactly.” Annie shrugged, sitting on the step with Elena in her lap, bouncing the toddler as she played with the neckline of Annie’s shirt. “Just… a little standoffish.”

“They went through a lot, last year.” Roberta sighs, gazing over at the Adler residence with a sad look in her eyes. Annie could see her swallow thickly, before continuing, “They’re still recovering from it.”

“I won’t ask.” Annie sighed, pressing her face against the warm curls on the top of Elena’s head. “That’s their business. I just hope that Mary and Elena can play together. It’d be nice to have another child in the neighborhood, so Elena can become more social. I want her to be a kid and be more social. She’s always around adults.”

“That sounds familiar.” Roberta smiles at Elena, holding out her hand for Elena to grasp and examine. “So, why don’t you have any furniture, yet?”

“I wanted a clean break.” A small pang pierced at Annie’s heart as she thought about her childhood home. She missed it. She missed the smell, the squeaky door to the patio, her bedroom, and… her parents. “The house just wasn’t the same without my parents. I wanted to be able to start a new life with Elena. Gavin was already gone, so it was just me and Elena in the house. It didn’t feel right.”

“So, you lived with your parents?”

“Yeah.” Annie replied, replaying the past in her mind like a footage reel. “After I found out I was pregnant, I quit college out of panic. I was newly twenty-one, and only on my second year of doing my generals at the U of M.” A small sigh escaped her, before she could help it. Quitting college was something that she really regretted doing, but she didn’t want to dwell on past mistakes. “I really panicked, but I was lucky to have parents who wanted to help me. They let me come back, gave me a room to stay in, loved their grandchild with their whole hearts, and never judged me for my actions. They were truly the best parents I could’ve asked for.”

“They sound like great parents.” Roberta smiles, brushing her fingers over Elena’s dark curls. “I have a son. He lives in the Miami area. I only see him a few times a year. He has a family of his own, and a life of his own.”

“Do you miss him?”

“Every day.” She smiles, dark eyes shining with unshed tears. “I have Frank and Mary, though.”

“Well,” Annie grasped Roberta’s hand in comfort, “I hope you know that… You have us, too.”

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Part 2

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ephemeradio-here-to-staydio · 6 years ago

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2018

January --

Trip to Florida with Grandma in the first week. Dark when we leave New York. The under-the-belly fly away feeling when the plane takes off. The loudness of the plane (I didn’t remember it being that loud). There is no forgetting that we are in a giant metal tube barreling through the air. Florida is strange. The warmth is unnatural. I realize I’ve finally come to accept New York winters and the beauty of rest. Florida lives in a state of constant temperance. The trees look exhausted.

We stay in a giant apartment complex next to eight or nine similar buildings on the same street that runs parallel to the ocean front. They stand unnaturally like giant dominoes, fifty feet apart. Boca is extremely cultivated. We go to Wal-Mart, we eat at P.F. Chang’s.

We go to the beach. There is no salty sweet smell here (like the one at the beaches in Jersey). Uncle (with whom we are staying) is unwell and has been for years. He repeatedly tries to get me to down alcoholic beverages and whenever my grandma isn’t around, talks about sex. He brushes my ass with his hand on the beach as we walk, and I ball my fists up in anger and walk faster. I don’t tell my Grandma because she is hesitant about staying here, and I want her to enjoy her time.

I fly back after two days, as was the plan. I am relieved to get back to the small, cold airport in Westchester, to see my little red Civic and rich, who drives it up to the pick up area.

On my first night back, I realize how good it is to be home, and also how much it feels like home, more home than original home, my little family with rich and crowdog. I ask him to marry me and he says yes. The next day he buys a ring-pop and leaves it on my nightstand.

February, March, April --

Back to School. I left in 2015, and am finally back. Spring Semester. I’m taking the Novel with Michelle Woods and Seminar in Critical Practices with Vicki Tromanhauser. I’m amazed how each class goes by so quickly -- I am always disappointed to hear that final tone-shift in the professor’s voice when she says that’s enough for today, we’ll pick up here next class. I read Anna Karenina, Crime and Punishment, The Master and Margarita, We, Lolita, The Waves by Virginia Woolf, The Year of the Flood by Margaret Atwood, St. Mawr by D.H. Lawrence, a short story by Ursula Le Guin, and the eco-critical theories of Morton, Harraway, Derrida.

I’d forgotten how much I loved reading and learning. I raise my hand in class and talk to other people. We go on a field trip to the Nature Sanctuary for my Seminar class and take a class photo. I save it to my computer when I realize it’s full of friends.

I write two papers that I’m extremely proud of, one about peasant dreams in Anna Karenina, and another about listening to Joanna Newsom’s Have One On Me as an eco-critical breakup album.

May, June --

My first semester ends, and my sister graduates from high school. I’m definitely old. I take an online summer class on Utopia/Dystopia with Cyrus Mulready.

July --

A trip to Long Beach Island, my place. rich and I stay crammed with my parents and my sister and her boyfriend in a two bedroom upstairs rental --the one that we used to stay at when I was little. We sleep on the pull-out couch, which was even less comfortable than that sounds. We stay for two nights. I eat oysters for the first time. My mom and I play kadima ball along the shore, and I eat a Spongebob Pop on a hot day, and his red pants drip down my hand. It’s a short trip, but enough. The year has been full but relentless, and here I have a few moments of actual content.

On the way back home, my radiator blows on the Garden State Parkway. We pull over and call rich’s cousin, and then we macgyver the shit out of it so we don’t have to get towed home from Jersey. The GPS decides to almost take us through the city instead of the normal way home, so a three-hour trip turns into seven hours -- but it was nice. We stayed fairly calm and worked it out, and it made me appreciate the shit out of our relationship.

August --

The dog days of summer. Everything is wet. We’re in the process of moving houses (something that I’ve done every summer for the past six or so years). Dealing with the old landlords in the final weeks is absolute hell. But we end up getting all of our security back, and we’re moving to a good house --it belongs to the Grandmother of the kids I used to babysit when I was in high school/early college.

We move in and I love the smell of the house. It’s a good place next to a stream. Everything is so wet that we start to notice mold on the furniture in the sunny room, and we fight it back.

September --

This is a very hard month. In late August, I wait and wait and wait for my period. It keeps threatening with cramps, but never comes. I take a pregnancy test and it’s positive. I make the decision that would be best for another human, not for myself. I can’t just have a baby because I want something cute, or because it’s “possible” to do so. We’re not ready for a baby, now or even ever --I’ve always been theoretically conflicted on if I wanted to bring someone else into this whole Thing against their will. And now I have to confront that hypothetical in my reality.

I make an appointment at planned parenthood after rich and I talk about it for a few days. It’s hard to get in, so I have to wait a few weeks. The house starts smelling awful. I get debilitatingly nauseous every time I go home. The smell of lavender dryer sheets (that I used to love) make me want to die. The world becomes a constant state of nausea. I get nose bleeds, I find out, because pregnancy changes SO MANY THINGS about how your body operates. Your body temperature goes up and your blood thins. Your teeth are more prone to infection and your body is circulating much more (like up to 50 percent more) blood.

At the appointment, the nurse is extremely nice and takes my blood without making me feel lightheaded. I find out I’m eight weeks pregnant and that I’ll need to schedule a termination procedure for the next week. I’m nervous but I want to get it over with. The doctor takes an ultrasound and shows me a picture of the “fetus” - it’s a small, black and white oval dot.

In the middle of September, I go to the Poughkeepsie planned parenthood to get the procedure. I decide not to take the sedation. I take four ibuprofen and they take me to the pre/post waiting room. I meet a woman who’s stocking up on granola bars, ginger ales and condoms, shoving them into her purse. She tells me this is her sixth procedure. “Are you nervous?” she asks. I say “no.”

It’s over quickly and it’s not more painful than some of the periods I’ve had. I get lightheaded afterwards and they keep me for an extra 20 minutes or so, but then I can walk out and go home. I tell rich to stop at mcDonald’s and we get burgers, and then I go home and sleep.

The first two days after the procedure I feel amazing. I’m no longer nauseous and I don’t have cramps. On the third day, the cramps start and so does constipation. I have extremely painful anal spasms at work one day. The bleeding and cramping stops around 2 weeks after the procedure, but begins again when I start birth control.

This all happens while my Fall Semester is starting, so there is no time to stop and rest and consider this whole thing. I keep going at the same pace because that’s what I have to do.

October --

My Fall semester is really great despite all the stuff of the previous month. I’m taking my Senior Seminar class about the Materiality of the Text with Mulready, and I’m taking The Epic Tradition with Thomas Festa. I read the Iliad, the Odyssey, the Aeneid, and Dante’s Inferno, Frankenstein, Hamlet, and a ton scholars that focus on materiality: Ong, Calhoun, Silverman, Sherman, etc etc etc. I’m energetic but anxious.

We have a housewarming party and it’s not a disaster. It’s mostly family and then some friends afterwards, but we’re old and tired and clean and go to bed pretty early, and I’m okay with that.

November, December --

Extremely exhausting and busy two months. Throwing myself into school work, I write two more papers that I’m fairly proud of: one on the materiality of Dante’s Inferno and the other about the myth of diaries, explored by looking at a few weird Frankenstein diaries.

Even New Year’s Eve was shot with a full day’s work followed by my first BioAnthropology exam (I’m taking a winter class), and I fell asleep at 10pm. Things will calm down in a few weeks hopefully (I’m done with classes after the 17th!!) and I can actually reflect on all the nonsense that happened this year.

Things are pretty good though, and I’m thankful for a lot. I challenged myself this year and it paid the fuck off. I made some new friends and wrote some things I’m proud of and I live in a pretty nice house with my family. I finally stopped bleeding, and I’m doing okay physically now too.

For Next Year:

- I want to bring my lunch to work at least twice a week!

- I want to stretch and do some type of exercise (so I don’t get winded so easily)

- I want to save some money and take a good trip.

- I want to stop scrolling so much!

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