#Caitlyn's mother is a bastard

[thesopwithcamel]

My backstories and headcanons about the Hat Kiddos (TW: mentions of child abuse, neglect, child kidnapping and child murder, premeditated and otherwise

Caitlyn (1HT Hat Kid).

Had a pretty rough childhood, her parents divorced when she was about 78 years old (in her home planets time) her father would have custody and her mother would have to pay child support. Instead Caitlyn's mother took her and ran away to an isolated spacestation and turned possessive and abusive, eventually Caitlyn stole a recently decommisioned yacht to escape her mother's torment. Her father thinks she is dead and her mother went insane, what happened to her is unknown.

Caitlyn met Bow Kid in preschool and both became good friends and the two would keep in touch until Bow began her pilot training (around the same time Caitlyn was kidnapped) and the two would move on from each other, eventually though the two of them would reunite and they would have their shared adventure on Terra at the ages of 168 and 168 (about 12 in Terran years) respectively. Bow would perish in an interstellar accident delibrately caused by Caitlyn's mother known only as the incident of spaceport 63, Caitlyn wouldn't know of her passing until her final confrontation with 3HT Hat Kid.

Personality wise Caitlyn has mostly matured since her previous adventure and is now the alien equivelant of 15 Terran years old but has (mostly) retained her canon personality, she is experienced in her space faring shennanigans and engineering and is also really good at getting into places that she isn't allowed in.

Caitlyn is a selective mute and in her age she is more of a 'less talk and get shit done' then anything else. Caitlyn also has taken a liking to more brutish melee weapons like baseball bats, clubs and crowbars although guns are a close second as she can carry a ridiculous amount of weapons and ammunition on her person.

Caitlyn enjoys gaming, drawing, knitting and riding on her RUMBI unit, she also enjoys hitting the range and has a secret interest in military history. Caitlyn also has a Memory walking ability (explaining the events of Habboi's custom levels).

Caitlyn's physical strength is nearly immeasurable which not only allowed her to perform her feats of strength during her adventure but also allowed her to whoop Cavus so badly he became a black mass stuck in a jam jar in Caitlyn's freezer.

When the cataclysm occured it knocked Caitlyn's ship out of atmosphere and it ended up exploding due to the fuel tank cooking off (and unintentionally halting the Cataclysm), killing RUMBI and flinging Caitlyn and Jar Cavus out and into the sea where they washed up on the shore of 1HT Mafia Town (which had been melded with both the barbour and Calcite). Caitlyn was blamed for the whole Cataclysm and had to skulk around the area with gun and crowbar in hand before being pardoned by the town following a fight with the 2HT Mafia Boss and a corrupted Proto Kid.

Natalie (2HT Hat Kid) and Proto Kid.

Both have lived in Calcite for all their lives, Natalie was born to unknown parents and Proto was created by tim the CEO of Time in order to serve him. 2HT Bow moved here with her family when Natalie was around 3 and the two became good friends.

Natalie shares Caitlyn's personality minus a decently sized chunk of trauma.

Proto is more serious than Natalie and is generally more level headed, always focused on the task at hand. The problem is she is terrfied of failure since unlike Natalie she was created to serve, not born to a loving family.

It has been a few months since Tim's first meltdown.

Proto, Natalie and Bow had the privalidge of being under Tim's protection when the mafia arrived, 2HT Mustache Girl (or Mu) wasn't lucky. They also had the privalidge of being the first to explore 1HT Mafia Town just after the cataclysm.

Proto was the first to accuse Caitlyn of causing the cataclysm and caught up in pursuing her that Caitlyn literally shoved her in a freezer (alongside Jar Cavus) when the two forgave each other following Caitlyn's pardon.

Like Caitlyn, Natalie is really damn strong but like young Caitlyn her strength is RNG based. Proto isn't though and has to rely on agility.

Natalie does talk but is often shy, 2HT Bow does all the speaking and Proto never speaks (its kinda a 'I have no mouth and I must scream' situation).

3HT Hat Kid

her origins, real name and story are unknown but she is known to be 168 years old (or 12 in Terran years), meaning she shares Natalie's age. Unlike Natalie However 3HT Hat Kid is a huge piece of shit, forged by the world around her.

Singlehandedly abused the power of all the Time Pieces in order to make herself God, fuelled by years of repressed rage and anger she mashed three universes together and became a god in her quest to reset things to give herself a better life.

It is unknown how she ended up this way but due to 3HT Snatcher also surviving a rough guess can be made.

Following her defeat, 3HT Hat Kid layed low for a while before having the unfortunate exprience of encountering a certain thoroughly pissed off old Timeline keeper by the name of Lady Puella who proceeded to butcher the child in a manner so horrific that it would make death by Vita Carnis Harvester look tame in comparrision.

[bramblebeau]

Alright I told myself I wouldn't interact with fandom when s2 came out, and I haven't and don't plan to except to say this about people deciding Caitlyn is the Worst or that the writing is OOC.

As someone who has had a family member violently killed, I cannot stress how much it shakes up everything you thought you were and stood for. My beliefs in proportionate compassionate justice and the rights of all human beings are some of the strongest I have (stronger now because of the way that experience affected me personally), but they were pushed to the absolute limit when it came to an individual who had killed my loved one, showed no remorse, and laughed in our faces outside court, among other things.

People generally like to believe it wouldn't be them or their peace-loving family members being talked down from seriously considering violent revenge, consequences be damned. People like to believe they wouldn't lash out at people closest to them under that pressure, that they wouldn't build walls around the kindest and most sensitive parts of themselves because those parts are the ones feeling pain you never thought possible, that they wouldn't stalk the killer, make notes on all their family and friends, and fuck up their hands punching walls in anger wishing so badly it was flesh and bone because they can't handle the fact that there's no way to turn back time to stop it all from happening. People like to think they're "better" than that. But the reality is messy and painful as hell.

With Caitlyn, she has the added guilt of having actually had the opportunity to stop Jinx before she fired the rocket, but she hesitated just long enough for it to result in the deaths of her mother and other councillors and in the cities being plunged into chaos. Not only that, but the person close to her she's lashing out at is the person who caused her to hesitate, and just so happens to be the sister of the killer.

Furthermore, her behaviour is entirely in character. We have seen her set up as someone who becomes obsessed with achieving a goal and will do pretty much anything she wants to get there. In S1, we agreed with her methods because her goal was exposing and taking down Silco, and because it led to Vi being released. In S2, she's doing a similar thing but it's fuelled by fear and a type of pain she doesn't know how to deal with, rather than being fuelled by a need to prove herself and solve a case, and it leads to her making morally questionable decisions and to hurting Vi. She admits herself, albeit privately to Vi, that she does not know what she's doing and doesn't know how to fill this hole in her chest (and the hole in the city leadership). She has been sheltered from the real world for almost all her life, and as a result she has no experience of functioning or making decisions under this kind of pressure. The real world blew up in her face in the worst way and she was given power and a loaded rifle, and then shoved into an even more elevated position by a very experienced warlord who is manipulating the shit out of the whole situation.

I'm not saying that you have free rein to hurt people when you're grieving and facing extreme stress. (If you think that's what I'm saying then idk I'm not sure there's much hope for you in terms of critical thinking skills). What I'm saying is that Caitlyn is exhibiting pretty normal human behaviour that most people would be susceptible to in those circumstances, not the behaviour of someone who is some kind of heartless abusive bastard.

TLDR: Caitlyn is being written in a way that completely makes sense and is also not OOC, and if someone told me there would be no chance of them reacting in similar ways I simply would not believe them.

[2rats1gogh]

a thing that i really hate about team black is how they say that we can’t really be mad at Rhaenyra for having three bastard children as a woman, because men have been doing the same thing all the time and no one cared.

But they kinda always forget about a very important detail; Whenever men had bastard children, they pretty much never put them in line for inheritance. They were aware of the fact that some random children they had with some random women are somewhere out there living their lives. And they didn’t care. They didn’t put their lives in danger by saying “oh, yeah, they are my legitimate children” even though the children look nothing like their mother or something. And whenever they *do* have their bastards live with them, they always admit that they are their bastards and never put them higher than legitimate heirs to their house.

Like Ned Stark has always been like “hey, that’s my bastard son, Jon, he is living with us at Winterfell. We raised him, fed him and treated him right, but when it comes to inherit Winterfell, my legitimate son with my wife Caitlyn, Robb, who is the true heir to house Stark, will become the next Lord, not Jon”

Rhaenyra, well, did the exact opposte.

And if you say “oh, but she’s a woman, she can’t do that, since people will get angry if she admitted to having bastard children with a man that is not her husband!” I will say, as a woman myself, no matter how cruel that might sound: that’s Rhaenyra’s problem. She knew damn well that when a man and a woman have sex, it’s the woman that gets pregnant. And if she really wanted to have children, she could’ve had sex with someone that slightly looks like her husband. Like, what the hell did she, a blonde white woman, expect her children to look like, having sex with a dark haired white man?

Because that’s the world she lives in. A cruel and unfair patriarchal world. And she does absolutely fucking NOTHING to change it. She doesn’t fight for women’s rights, doesn’t call out this patriarchy that somewhat caused the war itself, she doesn’t do anything to get rid of it. So that’s on her

[fallingrealms16]

CAITVI FIC REC LIST PART 4 (???) <3333

MUAHAHAHA part 4 at your service and it smells like horny jail to me *salutes*

HERE WE GO! Lots of short fics because I’m also currently reading the long ones for you horny bastards (ily)

Also sorry not sorry, while I read the LONGGG fics, you guys are just gonna have to deal with these smutty (some aren’t tho) short fics for now. Again, I’m not sorry and it will most definitely happen again.

Reminder‼️ pretty please read all the tags on each fic before reading as I am not responsible for any emotional trauma you may experience ^3^ (more notes at the bottom ty, ily <3)

alleyways by lgbtocha @lgbtocha

2.2K Words // Chapters: 1/1 // 2K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT// +artist fanart on X/Twitter

Caitlyn and Vi take things further after the kiss, and Vi's gauntlets get involved.

Alleyways artwork by @CamSexily ^^^

more than enough by awarmspring

2.3K Words // Chapters: 1/1 // 8K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

“You do know how to unbuckle this belt by now, no?” Caitlyn's accent slips out as she looks down her pants and back at Vi with a smile on her face, visibly a teasing one.

“You don't like it this way?” Vi stops in her tracks, voice slightly hesitant for a moment before she moves her hands to Caitlyn's pants.

“I'm just teasing you,” Caitlyn giggles and Vi's eyebrows relax at the view. “This way is good, too.”

Vi raises an eyebrow at her, the fond memory of their first time together making her lips curl into a tiny smile, and she retorts. “Just good?”

Caitlyn and Vi try something new.

That Night by lettucehater007 @lettucehater007

2.9K Words // Chapters: 1/1 // 817 Hits // COMPLETED

//TEEN AND UP// pre season 2 fic

A continuation of the bedroom scene in epsiode 8, the part that we don't see on screen before Vi and Caitlyn talk to the council.

Desire Unleashed by elle_fics

5K Words // Chapters: 1/2 // 3.2K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

Vi surprises Caitlyn with a new and experimental toy, it opens up a new world of exploration and desire for both of them. Their connection deepens as they navigate new physical and emotional boundaries, discovering hidden desires and indulging in intense moments of passion.

ASSisted Lift by Kestra711

6K Words // Chapters: 2/2 // 5K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

Listen, Con posted a request out for artists and writers see the notes. My brain goblins supplied “You always said you could squat 3 of me, right?” “Well time to prove it Handsome” and then built a one-shot around a single line of dialogue. So here we are. Enjoy Jinx being a little shit to annoy her sister only to have it backfire when Vi and Caitlyn become inappropriate at the gym.

Overstimulated by visbutchh

6.4K Words // Chapters: 1/1 // 1.6K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

caitlyn’s jealousy leads them to vi making her come over and over again.

Visbutchh X^^^

your dearest fantasy (i could be a good mother) by shadowsandsouls @sapphicwiles <333

6.7K Words // Chapters: 2/4 // 8K Hits // NOT COMPLETED (yet)

//EXPLICIT//

“Family is the most important thing to you.”

“You are my family. That will always be enough.”

“That’s not what I meant. You want to be a mother.” It wasn’t a question.

Or

Vi and Caitlyn learn something new about each other through sex

STARTED THIS AND IT WAS COMPLETED 1/1??? You’re telling me there’s gonna be more chapters WHAT

Tastes like she might be the one by Hhehe

7K Words // Chapters: 2/2 // 7.7K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT// 1st ch. bottom Vi 2nd ch. bottom Caitlyn

Caitlyn has been given a really special gift to use it with her girlfriend.

Get well by Supposedly_Ivy

9.5K Words // Chapters: 1/1 // 1K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT//

Vi's old habits don't fit the same way they used to, and Caitlyn isn't very good at running from herself. In other words, they fuck on a Sunday night in June, and it doesn't mean anything. Right?

BONUS SAD FICS!!!

Angst/hurt/no comfort/some~comfort (pls read 🏷️ cautiously)

Icy Fingers Round My Skin by Mango_Magpie

25K Words // Chapters: 6/6 // 3K Hits // COMPLETED

//EXPLICIT// mainly E - violence, part 1

Vi loses everything in one night, her whole life incinerated in blue smoke. Now, stuck in a concrete cell with nothing but her own monstrous thoughts for company, she’s forced to contend with a world in which her home, family, and purpose in life have all been ripped away by a monster with an amber eye. This is a multi-chapter character study, centering on the trauma Vi endures while in Stillwater.

Part 2: Ginko (post prison Vi x Cait)

[unamedica]

Westeros AU - Princess Caitlyn of House Kiramman

Elora Flowers (a bastard’s surname), and a natural daughter, held no contempt for the families she worked for. She was wise after having spent a few years growing up alongside Lady Mel—A war general’s daughter.

Princess Caitlyn greatly enjoyed the stories Elora would share with her. They sat under the shade of the weirwood tree while Caitlyn read aloud the history of Queen Rhaenyra. Caitlyn thumbed through the pages, carefully reading the stories she could recite by memory.

“She had a ‘strangeness’ to her, did she not?” The princess inquired.

Elora was leaning over, reading through the same scripts. “And what do you mean by that?”

Caitlyn bit her lip. “Did she—favor women the way she favored men? She seemed quite close to her handmaiden. Perhaps they shared a bond closer than friendship. Wouldn't you agree?”

Elora shrugged. “The texts wouldn’t write that down. Not for highborns. It’s—ungodly.”

“For which gods?”

“What do you mean, ‘which Gods?” Elora arched her brow in wonder. “You question them?”

“Curious, more like.”

“Hm.” Her handmaiden hummed in thought. “I assume all of them, Princess.”

Princess Caitlyn didn’t like that answer. “Which gods abandon the children while they starve, let the wars destroy nations, allow corrupted kings to rule with an iron first, yet forbid honest love such as this?”

Elora’s jaw tightened. “Do not let your mother hear this from you.”

Caitlyn glared at her handmaiden. “My mother would be proved wrong once I’m queen. Love is not a sin, but a cherished jewel.”

“I’m not against you, Princess Caitlyn.” Elora gently whispered. “But the hearts of men are closed to the desires of women. Most do not care what we think. To them, we're only here to provide them heirs to further their reign.”

Caitlyn scowled. “And I’m to marry a man of great honor. Perhaps he will understand my heart is only for—,” she trailed when she saw the guards trailing after the King. “Father?”

Both girls quickly stood up as King Consort Tobias rushed to the Princess’s side. He looked worried. “My dear Caitlyn, it’s—” he was holding a small parchment. Hand trembling. “It’s Bran Stark. There’s been a terrible battle out at sea. He’s been lost at sea.”

Princess Caitlyn quickly shut the book she was reading, and felt nothing for her betrothed.

Was it ungodly to feel relief in that hour?

[reboundttv]

In a world where I have the infinite fuck you money glitch to make as much Arcane as everyone wanted, I'd have Season 2 really focus on Jinx and Caitlyn. They really are two sides of the same coin.

Jinx in the S1 finale does what honestly every Zaunite secretly wishes would happen: she hurt Piltover. She did lasting damage to those uppity rich bastards and no amount of money is going to change that. And rather than feel any kind of joy or sick satisfaction from it, Jinx feels EMPTY. Yeah she did it, but she can't even be happy about it. She lost her surrogate father figure (Silco), and she reasons that she'll never see her sister, the only blood relative she has left, ever again. She doesn't want to be a symbol. She doesn't want to be a hero. She just wants things to be like they were.

Caitlyn is the same way. She's lost her actual mother, and despite the fact that she's in her 20s that is hard shit to deal with. It's no wonder that Ambessa was able to worm her way in. Ambessa became a surrogate mother figure to Caitlyn, and in a shockingly similar way to Silco/Jinx, allowed Caitlyn to indulge in her grief and rage. But Caitlyn arguably never wanted that either. She also wants things to be like they were.

Why I Love Caitlyn, and Why You Hate Her

⚠️ READER DISCRETION: I am not condoning Caitlyn’s actions and behavior, I am simply exploring the depth of her character and explaining what motivated her pursuit of revenge.

There’s no denying the gravity of Caitlyn’s actions as they are unquestionably wrong. However, her character cannot be reduced to these actions alone. This sudden, devastating behavior of hers is shaped by a thread of complex motivations and circumstances, but many choose not to acknowledge this simply because of her elite background. 

Like many others, I initially overlooked the point of the gassing in Zaun, which I think is a crucial thing everyone must first understand before diving into the discourse over Caitlyn's character. 

The Grey, often misunderstood as being used indiscriminately, was strategically deployed against the Chem-Barons to limit collateral damage. Caitlyn chose precision over chaos, targeting those directly responsible for Zaun’s turmoil. Furthermore, Caitlyn didn’t kill the Chem-Barons; she captured them, with net-deploying bullets. While her methods are controversial, they reflect a calculated approach; mischaracterizing her raid as a reckless attack ignores these details.

This isn’t to deny or excuse the fact that Caitlyn did, indeed, gas Zaun. Who’s to say that gas didn’t seep into the streets where innocent Zaunites roamed, harming them in the process? It’s entirely possible that innocents were affected and devastated. However, my brief explanation is only added to gain better perspective over the objectives of the gassing itself.

Now moving on, despite her privileged upbringing, Caitlyn shows a genuine effort to understand and connect with Zaunites. She places her trust in Vi, a Zaunite she’s never met before, to guide her in her search for Silco. Her journey through the undercity opens her eyes to the struggles of its people, challenging her perspective.

In S1E4, when investigating the airship attack, she encounters an undercity resident and reassures him, “I can protect you.” Later in the season, when Vi gets stabbed, Caitlyn encounters someone formerly connected to Vi. He’s grown a distaste over himself due to his appearance, and yet Caitlyn embraces him with compassion and tenderness, as a silent sign of gratitude. Then, she surrenders her cherished firearm—her only means of protection—in return for a healing potion to save Vi. In S1E7, Caitlyn’s heartfelt monologue in her conversation with Ekko perfectly captures her hope and determination: “This city needs healing. More than I ever realized. Please, let me help you.”

When Caitlyn and Vi stand in front of the Council, Caitlyn declares: “Councilors, this is Vi. She was born in the undercity. Even though we failed her in countless ways, she risked everything to show me what life is really like down there. People are starving, sick, ravaged by Shimmer. They live in constant fear of the coordinated efforts of violent crime lords.” This monologue alone shows how Caitlyn embodies optimism, believing in the inherent goodness of people, even Zaunites. It also shows that she is very willing to fight for them; she sees helping Zaunites as an act of bringing justice and equality into this world.

Many overlook the depth of Cassandra and Caitlyn’s relationship, reducing it to a simple narrative of a daughter mourning her mother. However, Caitlyn’s mourning is more layered than that. Throughout her life, she has been rebellious, driven by a desire to uncover the reality her mother tried to shield her from. In S1E4, Caitlyn reflects on this by saying, “She’d do anything to keep me from seeing the real world.” Caitlyn’s defiance wasn’t just rebellion for its own sake—it was a stand for her ideals. She sought enlightenment and understanding, even if it meant stepping outside the privileged bubble her mother built for her. By venturing into the undercity and aligning herself with Vi, Caitlyn rejected her mother's own ideals.

Here's another scene in S1E8 that emphasizes this:

Cassandra: You're a Councilor's daughter. Your actions reflect on the entire body. Caitlyn: My actions? You know what else reflects on the Council? Its citizens living on the streets. Being poisoned. Having to chose between a kingpin who wants to exploit them and a government who doesn't give a shit!

In a way, her actions mirror Vi’s: just as Vi betrayed her people by working with the enforcers, Caitlyn betrayed her own mother by involving herself with Zaunites. Remember: The last time we see Caitlyn and Cassandra interact on-screen is during Caitlyn’s plea before the Council. And in that moment, Caitlyn was fighting to protect the very kind that would soon kill her own mother.

You say that Caitlyn’s drastic shift is unjustified, as she’s only experienced a fraction of the suffering Zaunites have been enduring. But that’s precisely the point! Her transformation shows how personal loss can drive the change of one’s entire character; she’s never experienced loss before which is why it feels so heavy for her. And unlike Zaunites, Caitlyn actually has the power to act on her grief. Zaunites have only known misery their whole lives. When their loved one dies, they know there is nothing more they can do but grieve. They don’t have an inch of the privilege and military support Caitlyn has. If you had given them the same resources as Caitlyn, they wouldn’t hesitate to bring ruin to Piltover. Simply put, they don’t fight Piltovans because they don’t want to, but because they can’t.

When Jinx takes her mother away, her compassionate ideals completely shatter. Having always sought justice and understanding for Zaun, Caitlyn feels deeply betrayed, as her faith in the good within every Zaunite is overturned. Her mother’s death becomes a turning point—driving her to abandon her ideals and adopt Piltover’s disdain for the undercity, finally understanding the resentment many Piltovans harbor.

We also tend to forget that, aside from losing her mother, Caitlyn has directly suffered under the hands of Jinx. Caitlyn was held captive by Jinx in Season 1—and God knows what was done to her during that period. In the tea party scene, we see Caitlyn break down in tears, visibly flinching when Jinx moves toward her. It’s clear that Jinx has traumatized Caitlyn not just once, but twice. These experiences deeply shape Caitlyn’s actions moving forward. The pain and fear she’s endured push her to a place where she’s willing to sacrifice almost anything, even if it means putting a child’s life at risk (Isha's) or severing ties with Vi.

While they share their differences, Caitlyn and Jinx are the perfect example of foil characters. Here’s an instance which proves this: Both allow themselves to be influenced by manipulative, powerful figures all while being in a vulnerable state of mind.

Jinx is haunted by guilt; her attempt to save her family only ended up killing them, leaving her with the crushing weight of self-blame. She clings to Silco, not because he was the father she needed, but because he was the father she wanted. Silco indulged her destructive tendencies, keeping her at an all-time high on the edges of chaos. Fragile and broken, Powder crossed paths with Silco at the right moment; he saw the perfect chance to mold her into someone bewildered, unrestrained, and astray.

Caitlyn has her own Silco: Ambessa, the ruthless Noxian leader with a brutal philosophy of war. Ambessa enters Caitlyn’s life at a pivotal moment, stepping in just as Caitlyn is grappling with the devastating loss of her mother. In a spiral of self-identity, Caitlyn struggles with the weight of Piltover’s expectations and her unresolved guilt over her strained relationship with her mother (as explained in previous paragraphs). Just as young Powder mourns her family, Caitlyn blames herself for the death of her mother. Caitlyn got herself involved with the Zaunites even when she was warned not to, and at the expense of her defiance came the death of her mother. Driven by guilt and a thirst for vengeance, Caitlyn steps fully into her role, declaring in S2E1: “I am a decorated officer. Leader of House Kiramman.”

Jinx and Caitlyn share a tragic parallel: they both lose everyone they hold dear. Jinx loses Vi, Vander, Claggor, and Mylo. Caitlyn is left without Cassandra, Vi, Jayce, Mel, and Tobias. Stripped of their support systems, they are left isolated, with no one to confide in or rely on. They become vulnerable, used as pawns in the larger schemes of Silco and Ambessa’s strategic games.

Caitlyn's inner turmoil is exactly why Ambessa’s manipulation is so effective. Caitlyn is compelled to take revenge, but she doesn’t know how to. And without anyone else to guide her, she places her complete trust in Ambessa's expertise. Ambessa doesn’t just give Caitlyn the authority and power to avenge her mother; she teaches her how to use them to their full potential. She toys with Caitlyn's vulnerability, making her adopt the Noxian values of wrath, bloodshed, and ruthlessness. 

It’s easy to downplay Caitlyn’s grief since she comes from an elite upbringing. While Cassandra Kiramman is laid to rest in a golden casket with a proper burial, countless innocents in Zaun become victims of merciless violence, being left to die on the streets. After the timeskip however, Caitlyn is shown to recognize the moral cost of her actions. Though the series portrays this realization subtly, it becomes evident that Caitlyn is grappling with the inhumanity and immorality of her pursuit of revenge. In S2E4, this internal conflict comes to light during her conversation with Ambessa. When Ambessa attempts to stoke her fury again, Caitlyn disarms her with a piercing question: “Why is peace always the justification for violence?”

Here's another scene that subtly depicts her realization and remorse:

Caitlyn: You're a monster. Why? Why do all this? Singed: Why does anyone commit acts others deem unspeakable? ... For love.

When Caitlyn steps further and sees Orianna, she realizes that Singed's revenge is a reflection of her own: a person grieving the death of their family member. Here, there's a saddened glint in her eyes. She finally understands now, that love and grief made her do things that once seemed so foreign to her. In this case, going against her own principles just to succeed in her revenge.

Caitlyn is now forever haunted by the outcome of her mistakes, but she knows her past cannot be erased. During her confrontation with Jinx in the prison, she admits, “No amount of good deeds can undo our crimes.” While this statement is directed at Jinx, it feels like Caitlyn also holds this against herself for her own wrongdoings. 

Caitlyn’s acts of atonement are done quietly. She’s not good with words; she’s bad at articulating how she feels. Ironically, Vi is much better than Caitlyn when it comes to confronting and vocalizing internal conflict. So instead, Caitlyn’s actions speak for herself. By removing the guards at the prison, she tacitly allows Vi the opportunity to rescue Jinx. She knows Vi will come to save her sister, and yet she lets her. She finally lets go of Jinx and the grudge she held against her, as a silent act of her love for Vi.

And in S2E9, Sevika is shown to be sitting among the Councilors. But thanks to a fan's keen eyes, we find out that she is sat particularly on Cassandra Kiramman's chair (which not many notice). By allowing a Zaunite to occupy her mother's seat, Caitlyn gives them a chance to be rightfully represented, a chance for their voices and suffering to finally be heard. It’s a quiet display of Caitlyn’s evolution and willingness to bridge the divide between Piltover and Zaun.

That said, Arcane’s ending left much to be desired regarding Caitlyn’s arc. The heavy focus on Hextech overshadowed the sociopolitical dynamics of Piltover and Zaun. This is the main reason a lot of hate is thrown toward Caitlyn—there is an act of accountability, but there a lack of consequence. While Caitlyn acknowledges her mistakes, her privileged status keeps her from real repercussions, unlike the tragedy other characters had to face. This is frustrating, even to me, as someone whose favorite character is Caitlyn. Yet, in a way, it realistically portrays the inequalities in our own world—where the elite are often shielded from justice, and repentance is the closest they ever come to redemption.

[amaryllisthegheist]

Blog Directory

Hello and welcome everyone, this is a blog primarily dedicated to the various stories I write and a lot of my art. Secondary blog to @myths-of-fantasy

Major Projects

Ignavus - A warrior ccats inspired Xenomoggy series with its own blog here on cohost.

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Sable Wren - An original story that started as a school project that is being developed very, very slowly

Troubled Times - A Percy Jackson Inspired story that will probably go on to be an original work, following twins Percy and Kiara as they navigate the supernatural world, get accused of serial murder and stop an evil bastard from manipulating children

Lesser Projects

Creed - A somewhat selfish assassin stumbles her way into becoming the respect lord of a city during the explosion of a violent gang-war and learns to love her found family along the way

Lurking Dragons - Before Caitlyn, there was a woman that Ned Stark loved beyond all else, a leader and spitfire that he was pained to give up for his duty. When he dies at King's Landing, Analliah flips out the dragon-queen seeks out the Mother of Dragons to right a few (hundred) wrongs.

Boss Music - Light Yagami's stunt as Kira attracts the attention of a particular powerful gheist who promptly performs an audit on Death's Servants, unknowingly setting off a ripple effect of events. The Shinigami King never saw her coming.

Exodus - A fic of a fic, Exodus is the 'what if Firestar left' of the story Exile

Sleeping Giants - The Gamer Naruto featuring a half yokai girl who has Player 2 mechanics.

Story Directories

Some of my works have fully assembled directories or multiple posts to be navigated

The Farlands - A post-magical apocalypse world originally inspired by warriors but well on its way to becoming its own thing with just a few name changes. Oh, and it was sparked by the idea that after enough time suffering, eventually life adapts. Ao3 | Wattpad

The Black Wolf Capers - A Carmen Sandiego AU series features magic and an OC known as The Black Wolf who gave up everything to keep Carmen happy. Ao3 | Wattpad

Impulsive works

A Stalwart Survivor - Lara Croft has forged herself into the perfect channel and champion of a long forgotten goddess of survival and everyone else deals with the insanity that follows it

Stardust in Her Eyes - A wordgirl fic but I went a little bit insane, invented a new species and really leaned into the underlying tragedy of what it means for this series to be based on Superman XD

Shadows in the Mirror - Rusty is a faefolk wandering among mortals running from his mother, who seized control of the summer throne after his father's death

The Outsiders - Rusty's sister Kite rules a powerful Syndicate of outside cats not far from clan territory, and it's there that he takes Ravenpaw, convinced that his little sister would take perfectly good care of him

[independentzaun]

❛  you want me, right? so hurt me, and leave them alone!  ❜ - Caitlyn / Jinx

If there was one thing Jinx utterly despised it was seeing Enforcers strutting through the streets of Zaun like they owned the place. Perched up on a building she had been using her spyglass to get a feel for just how many of them there were, and how they were armed. As it so happened she’d already decided to attack before even seeing Caitlyn, but spotting the blue-haired woman her lips pulled into a sinister smirk. How could she possibly pass up an opportunity to shove even more fear into her soul?

How much would it take before Caitlyn… broke?

It wasn’t long before Jinx made her way down towards the side street the Enforcers were practically marching through humming softly to herself as she went. Lately her head had been a bit more peaceful. Perhaps because of the time spent in her workshop crafting new rounds for Pow-pow, and chompers and other things. Creating, and decorating things always made her feel better. However that peacefulness was starting to swirl with an undertone of excitement, and delight. Killing Enforcers was always fun, and it wasn’t as though Jinx could just let people forget who she was after all much less what she could do.

The attack was sudden, and vicious. Smoke spilling out of an alleyway from two chompers she’d rolled across the ground, and than suddenly out came Jinx with a grin on her face. One chomper hit an enforcers leg not wanting to test if they had new body armor or not, and a moment later the man screamed as the explosive went off and dropping to the floor it was quickly evident he would never walk again without a prosthetic. Another chomper went flying past Caitlyn’s head with it’s jaws clacking as though taunting her before it landed on another enforcers arm ripping it apart with a sudden burst of nails and glass. Jinx quickly her pistol out, and shot one enforcer in the chest staggering them backwards before a kick slammed into their side knocking them off balance and than into the ground. Following the enforcer with all the savagery of a guard dog wanting to rip someones throat out her boot slammed onto his chest and Zapper was directed at his face yet she paused. It wasn’t due to any feeling of guilt. All she felt was delight, and excitement, and satisfaction at defending what was hers. Caitlyn’s voice however had caught her attention, and her head tilted just a touch before she turned. That boot stayed on the enforcer’s chest grinding into him as Jinx positioned herself so she could see Caitlyn, and the rest of the enforcers reeling and off balance from the sudden emergence of forced chaos every single moment of which had been utterly under Jinx’s control.

“Ohhhhhh there’s that Piltie arrogance. Always thinking everything is about you. Nice to see you too Caity Blue. I’d be disappointed, but I get it. I’ve practically spoiled you with my attention. Now here’s the thing…” Her boot slid upwards now pressing against the man’s throat just a few pounds of pressure away from crushing it. “Why would I stop when I could hurt you by doing what I already wanted to do anyways and killing each and every one of these jackbooted trespassing bastards? If you really want me to leave them alone you are going to have to be a bit more enthralling C.B.”

Should shave her head.

See how much Vi likes her when she doesn’t have hair like Mother’s.

How were even her roots blue? Didn’t her hair come from a bottle?

[gillywulf]

Something to Rely On

a short, late entry to caitvi week day 5, domesticity. unbetaed, unedited, based on that keane song, you know the one.

~~

The Kiramman Manor was a stately home. Tall, proud, and intricately designed, it had been passed down from mother to daughter for generations. Each family tended to it lovingly and with great care for the remainder of their lives until it was all the way down to Caitlyn and her wife Vi. 

Caitlyn worked more days than not and, for thirty years, upheld the manor as a part time side job that took almost as much energy. In recent months, she’d felt the toll more than she ever had. Her eyes weren’t quite what they used to be and the repeated shooting without ear protection meant her hearing was starting to go too. Between work as the sheriff, the aging house, her aging body, and trying to keep up with Vi, she was exhausted. 

Something had to change. 

When she got home after work, the smear of blood on the wall was evidence enough Vi had beaten her home. Caitlyn followed the smears, only a little nervous, and found her wife leaning over the kitchen sink, running her hand under a stream of water. She received a sheepish look for her trouble. 

“What did you do?” she asked with a sigh, already reaching for the first aid kit they kept stashed in the front cabinet. 

“I wasn’t as fast as usual. Bastard ducked out of the way and I punched a wall.”

Caitlyn vividly remembered their first meeting at Stillwater where Vi took special pride in breaking down bricks with her bare hands. She took her wife by the wrist and directed her to sit at their kitchen table as she took the spot across from her. 

“Did you get him?”

She dabbed disinfectant over the weeping wounds. Vi snorted a laugh and only jerked a little at the sting. 

“Of course. Easy peasy with the way we’ve trained the kids,” she answered, settling into the chair. 

It was true, they’d invested an unheard of amount of time and effort into training the Wardens to be better than their predecessors. Vi’s childhood and the history of Zaun was colored so deeply with the violence of the Enforcers that it had been one of Caitlyn’s first decrees as sheriff to clean up the whole system. Not perfect. But better. 

“Glad to hear. Wish I wasn’t patching you up,” Caitlyn teased. The antibiotic was next. Vi barked a laugh and shook her head. 

“Think you’ll always be doing that, Cupcake.”

Caitlyn frowned at the hands in her own. In recent years, Vi’s hands took on a tremor. Nerve damage the doctors had said. Her hands had dealt out so much abuse that they couldn’t fight their own comeuppance. Vi had difficulty holding things with any sort of hope for stillness. Soup ended up more on her face than in her mouth, papers crinkled when she tried to read them with her glasses, her signature ended up a slashing stab when she was required to give it. 

Caitlyn wrapped Vi’s hands and thought of how her own shooting had been more left of center than she wanted, her eyes fighting her as they stared down the barrel. She taped down the bandages and thought of how her hearing wasn’t what it used to be and how she was so much more tired than when they first started. 

Caitlyn pressed a kiss to wobbling knuckles and thought of a little house on the outskirts of town. 

“My love, do you think we may be getting old for this?” she asked into warm skin. Vi laughed, but when her wife didn’t join in, she abruptly stopped. 

“You’re serious,” she realized, raising her palm to press it to Caitlyn’s cheek.

“We can’t keep doing this. I shot outside of the bullseye last week.” She smiled at Vi’s awkward laugh. “We are older, Vi. Everyone we know is gone or able to take care of themselves. We can barely keep up with our own officers most days.”

Vi thinned her lips together and frowned. 

“Yeah,” she mumbled absently. There was no animosity or guarded posture. Instead, Vi’s soft agreement was laced with a reluctant acceptance. Caitlyn bit her lip. If there was ever a chance, it was here. 

“I saw a house the other day. Small, a yard, large windows, and planters under each. I was wondering, how would you feel about moving? Leaving here?”

The Kiramman Manor had been their home since almost the day they met. Even when they were near strangers, they curled up together in Caitlyn’s bed and napped the hours away until they were to speak to the council. It was never anything but theirs. There had never been a conversation about living anywhere besides the Manor, but Caitlyn had seen that little house and suddenly the too-big house seemed like an easy sacrifice for such a bright future. 

“Cait,” Vi’s nose scrunched in that familiar way she loved, broadcasting her concern, “I want to live wherever you are, I don’t care what it looks like as long as you’re on the other side of the bed. But, do you want to leave here? This is your family’s.”

Caitlyn let her thumbs stroke over the back on Vi’s available hand and smiled. It’d been difficult at first to reconcile, but she had been struck with an idea within a week of seeing the small house. 

“I want to donate the Manor. I want to make it a home for children who feel like they have no where else to go. I want to give children another option that is not a back alley.”

Vi’s pale blue eyes, lightened with time, stared wide at her. Then, slowly, like a dandelion drying in the sun of its morning dew, she grinned. 

“You’re something else,” she said with a shake of her head. “Yeah, I’m in. I think I’m getting tired anyway,” she laughed, pressing a kiss to the corner of Caitlyn’s mouth. 

“It’s somewhere to begin.” 

[quinntamsin]

Catch all my content early on my patreon!

"Hmmm," she reflected over the runes pulsate along her Hextech powered hammer. A smile came to her lips as she cocked her head, "Hmmm, yeah this is for those fucking Enforcer bastards."

---

Holy, fucking, shit, I was a fool to wait till early July to watch Arcane. Yup straight before I pulled a bloody 37 hour work week I binged the entire series. I can say I liked it, and here are my thoughts on it. Arc 1, which focuses on the build up of our young heroes. Vander is obviously a man trying to hold shit together. His adoptive daughters are making their way in the world and their friends are doing their best to help. Right away we get immediate foreshadowing of Jinx's future with her tinkering and her obvious mastery of Chemtech. Even more so we see how they mirror Violet's combat skills with an entire fucking scene of her punching someone. Now sliding in Jayce here was interesting, I like how both he and Jinx get a tie with their fixation with Hexgems. He will create a new magnificent technology and Powder creates a fucking bomb. In a lot of ways it shows two sides of intelligence. Jayce's was nutured, Powder while backed by her found family lost that connection. Plus instead of handling her trauma with support she fragmented and became umoored from reality. Playing of the ancient feud was Silco was also a nice touch. The scenes of the mutate Shimmer users really does lay all the groundwork for what we'll see later on. Violet while our primary protagonist really is here to show Jinx's transformation from Powder to her truly unhinged self later on. Arc 2, wow, straight away we see how Ekko has evolved his friends and started the Firelights. The scene where they all just drift out of the sewer work was ominous. Jinx going on to full JOKER level murder them all with her quirky bombs was another layer of psychosis of our kids. Here we got one hero trying to create a semblance of stability and safety. And one who is just fucking angry at the world. All the while the cartel under the control of Silco simmers along. Wow, shifting back to Piltver we are rushed immediately into Jayce's rise to power. We learn more about our major characters such as Elora and how she came to be. By the time her mom pops up our connections are more than just pretty faces and simple politics. The council is a vibrant cast of characters painted before our eyes in Arcane's unique almost Spiderverse influenced art style. I ended up reading a lot on Runeterra as I watched this series. I helped me understand more about Nox and Ionia. And the influences that led to the creation of Piltover in the first place. Now, as we see Caitlyn release Vi and the deep dive into undoing Silco's cartel more comes to the fore. First, Silco is a solid villain kingpin with a clear agenda and one we can connect too. The story of the underdog, and how yes, to create peace his "brother" basically betrayed him. Flashing back forth between his and Powder's own loss and sense of betrayal. Wow, it really hits home how family's can be torn apart through actions. If Vi had not hit her sister, she would have kept a stronger bond. If Powder had listened instead of rushing, the entire gang and vander would still be alive. These actions as well as the advancement of Hextech all show how much has missed as she delves back into the Undercity. Zaun is now a fully cyber / magicpunk slum filled with neon glowing chemtech and smoking addicts. Her father's own bar has been subsumed and taken over. Even as they both head deeper, the pressure on everyone increases. Jinx is busy building new toys and ends up murdering a few people for a gem. Vi's tunnels vision with her own sister means that a lot of actions that could have stopped Jinx arent' considered. Honestly, this story is at its best when everyone is blinded by their own prejudices. Jayce and Eliora try to see eye to eye as Jayce steps onto the counsel. Eliora pushes back against her mother's arrival in the shadow of her own exile. When we see what Ekko and the Firelights have done it only brings us back. An astonishing work of Chemtech that merges the growth of plantlife in a manner that doesn't extinguish the heart of Zaun. When Heimdinger sees it later in the series it made me smile as he admires the ingenuity of it all. Now, as this is my thoughts on Arcane Season 1, I'm not going to go totally in-depth on it. Conclusion Arcane was the literal fucking gay tension filled series I've wanted. While, I would love to do a super reaction episode by episode take on this series, I haven't the energy. I watched Arcane this July when I had a supreme bout of anxiety and was trying to write my next short. I will however, be putting off character profiles on my favorites as well as my thoughts on the Caitvi ship later on! I really am hyped for season 2 and I'm already loving the wave of new fanfic I get to read! Gay Thoughts Yeah, so I have to add this. I read a pretty good Alpha Omega story with a Norwegian Conductor Vi and Caitlyn as a Pianist from London. It was this pairing that finally pushed me to watch the series. The story builds really well, and yes I am totally on the Caitvi ship as she sets sail! Also, I want to write Ekko as a trans-kid dating a very - very awkward trans Powder! Need to add that to my fucking list of future stories. Honestly,, if Riot wasn't such a questionable country I'd drop some money on them. Still iffy on how I stand on them. Hottakes:

So - simple but straight forward foreshadowing with Jinx and her origins as Powder.

Killing off Sherrif Grayson was pretty straight forward, but was kind of a waste IMO.

Violet, you fucking foolish gay you.

I adore Caitlyn's tooth gap.

[sheriff-caitlyn]

The Harrowing is over, at long last. No casualties, the bare minimum of injuries and citations (fireworks, fire-handling, and three food allergies; public drinking, pranks that got a little too serious, and one non-fatal car accident from ice on a country road), and all international guests safely on their way out of the Ironspikes Cradle (by ship, by carriage, by zeppelin). Another successful year.

It is snowing. Piltover gets winter sooner than other nations. Year’s end has come and gone, and now they move into Snowdown. Shops close earlier this season; businesses have shorter hours, or are closed entirely, requiring Caitlyn to grocery-shop earlier in the day. She climbs out into the cold air, now, coming up from the underground (train stations, Triple-Wubs, and an array of much warmer stores, foodcourts, and market tunnels) with four canvas bags, two on each arm. One of them holds two books and a picture frame. She has Snowdown gifts to prepare.

As well as a brief stop to make before she returns to Faulkner Street.

Snow covers Piltover’s towers and streets, and most trees have long been denuded of leaves. It’s quite stark at the moment; crystaline and clean, though snow ploughs and shovels have bared the streets and walkways in a way that look almost like wounds. Caitlyn moves down one such road, to a statue that has not had time to verdigris under weather.

Trisha Littleford-Huxley smiles distractedly over Piltover, even in stone and bronze working on her next project, thinking about where the future will go next. The base of her monument has been cleared away of flowers and candles, for the sake of the growing snow, but there is still sign of visitors stopping by: piles of incense ash and puddles of wine and whisky poured out for her. Caitlyn smiles to see such a sign, and shifts the bags in her hold as she pulls out her own flask from her coat, emptying a dram on the statue’s base.

She wonders where she’ll see her mother, in the future. What bright sparks will join Piltover’s community next, what ideas will be inspired, what plants will grow strong in the spring to come. Trisha’s death has left a hole, yes, but the mourning is easing. 

Caitlyn is still packing up her home in Faulkner Street. Winter does not make moving house easy, but she is in no rush. She would rather her brother and sister-in-law get settled in the grand house before bringing herself into the mix. She will be visiting frequently, however.

Caitlyn puts her flask away, murmurs a quiet ‘see you soon’ in Westerly to the statue, then heads through the streets. There are still people braving the cold, in scarves and coats and woolen hats against the snow and chill. She is not alone on her travels, though for a time her thoughts are elsewhere. But as she turns the corner to Faulkner Street, and the bag containing the frame taps against her hip, she pauses.

The hair on the back of her neck prickles, and she stops, and looks back. She seems to be alone on the street, but she knows something is not right. Something has changed.

The feeling of the bag against her hip had not been straight lines, the spines of books and the wooden edge of a frame. There was something else within, something that had not been there before.

She opens the bag and peers inside. And there it is, the odd shape that had caught her attention. There is a cloth bag, filled with some kind of beads within, resting on the book spine. Caitlyn fishes this bag out, pulls open the drawstring, and sees… pearls. A string of them, in a particular number that means much to her, because it is a case she has yet to close.

“Ah.” She doesn’t waste her energy looking up and around at the empty street again, because the one who returned these would be gone from her sight by now. 

“You bastard,” she murmurs, almost fondly. Almost, but not quite, because he should have returned this years ago. There’s a scar in her ear and her mother is a memorial statue now. 

She closes and fastens the drawstring, and returns the bag to where she found it. She’ll have to take these home and re-string them with the rest of the pearls. Her mother’s necklace, finally returned, finally able to be complete. Too little too late, but apparently even the criminal C has a conscience, or at the very least is capable of a little sympathy.

Caitlyn breathes a weary sigh, and shakes her head, and walks on home.

[redrose-arrow]

Duncan x Halt anon here!!! this is one of the last coherent hcs i have about these two (the rest are kinda random, just cute little things I think would apply to this ship) ANYWAY IM HAVINF THE TIME OF MY LIFE LETS GOOOO

OKAY SO CAITLYN’S DEATH. I’m imagining this is set sometime after the Early Years series, before Halt takes on Gilan as an apprentice; anyway, Duncan gets a letter one day from Clonmel and he opens it to see that it’s an invitation to the funeral of the Hibernian princess Caitlyn O’Carrick—it’s protocol that whenever someone Royal/generally important dies, a letter is sent to all kingdoms who are on good terms with the deceased/kingdom of the deceased informing them of the death (along with an invite to the funeral). This was only put in place because it’s not great fun to show up at a ball or party and be like “Hey how is [blank] doing?” only to have [blank]’s mother burst into tears and run out of the ballroom—kinda puts a damper on the evening (Duncan has learned this the hard way. He’s not keen on repeating that mistake, so he makes sure to read through all his mail carefully)

So he gets this letter, goes “Clonmel? funny, that’s where Halt is from” and puts it aside for a second to continue rifling through his mail. Then the lightbulb goes off on his head and he‘s like “WAIT, THAT’S WHERE HALT IS FROM” and dives for the invitation. There’s more information regarding the place it’ll be held (a private funeral service in Dun Kilty, which will then be opened to the public so they can pay their respects) and other details like what time, the dress code, etc etc, but all Duncan can think right now is: Caitlyn O’Carrick is gone. Halt’s sister is dead.

Then another thought: does Halt know?

Duncan is pretty sure he doesn’t—Halt doesn’t keep in touch with anyone from his past, not that there were many people he’d want to keep in touch with anyway. But Caitlyn was important to him, the one person who’d actually given a damn about him, and Duncan realizes with a growing sense of dread that he’s gonna have to tell Halt about her passing. Reluctantly he sends a messenger boy to fetch the Ranger (“not extremely urgent, but I’d like to see him by the end of the day”) and excuses himself to his chambers. Halt rolls in sometime around mid-afternoon with a “you wanted to see me?” Duncan, letter in hand, pit in his stomach, tells him to sit. “If this is about the seal that I allegedly carry in my bag,” Halt says as he sits, “then you should know that Crowley is a lying bastard who couldn’t tell a horse from a boat. I don’t know how he manages to hit what he’s aiming at with that eyesight, but—“ he cuts off when Duncan holds the letter out to him. He raises an eyebrow, meeting Duncan’s grim gaze. Without another word he takes the letter, unfolds it, and reads.

There’s no visible change in Halt’s expression; he’s stoic as always, but Duncan knows him now, sees the way his fingers tighten on the paper, knows by the way he stills that his mind is struggling to process the information he’s been given. Neither man speaks until Duncan breaks the heavy silence: “The funeral is in a week’s time. I’ve already written and sent a letter confirming my attendance at the service.” No reaction from Halt, so Duncan takes a breath and says, “I think you should come with me.” He goes on for a little about how he can station Crowley at Redmont in Halt’s absence, how he’ll explain Halt’s seemingly unnecessary company for the trip, precautions they can take so nobody recognizes his similarities to the King Ferris; then he trails off when he realizes that Halt’s not really listening, just staring blankly at the unassuming letter that brought his entire world to a screeching halt. Duncan walks over and rests a hand on the man’s shoulder: “If you decide to come with,” he says quietly, “I’ll be ready and waiting by the front gate at dawn.” He spares one last glance at Halt’s frozen expression, gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze and walks out. When Duncan returns an hour later, Halt is gone, and the letter is resting on the chair where he’d sat.

Three days later and Duncan’s ready and waiting, sitting on his horse with a pack pony shuffling impatiently behind them. It looks like Halt isn’t coming and he’s about to leave when he hears the familiar clop-clop of a Ranger horse, just as Halt rides into view on Abelard. He slows to a stop, and if the shadows under his eyes are a little darker than usual then Duncan doesn’t mention it. The two of them share a look; finally Duncan inclines his head, turns to whisper a few instructions to his chamberlain, and takes off, Halt following closely behind.

The funeral is nice enough; Duncan attends the private service, leaving Halt alone in their shared guest room, and later in the evening Halt slips away to watch the public service from the shadows. When he leaves, there’s a brightly coloured wildflower in his hand that’s gone when he returns. Duncan doesn’t ask. (He doesn’t say all that much, actually; the sight of the grave next to Caitlyn’s, a polished gray slab with intricate patterns and a marking etched into the stone that reads ‘HALT O’CARRICK, CROWN PRINCE’ has him feeling ill for the rest of the trip.)

I’m still not 100% decided on the details—I’d like to think that Duncan wanders around the castle a little bit, stopping to stare at the portraits of the O’Carrick family hanging from the walls and trying not to do a double-take every time he sees and/or hears Ferris talk. And how would Halt react to seeing Ferris again? I am ALSO not sure about this but in general I think it would just be a lot of Halt grieving quietly with Duncan standing by him in a silent show of support. (after all, it’s not like anyone else can be there—nobody else can know that Halt’s sister has died, and even if he did tell anyone the abridged version without the gruesome details, they wouldn’t fully understand how much she meant to him. Duncan doesn’t say “I’m sorry for your loss”, because he knows Halt well enough to know that the man despises empty platitudes. So he just...stays with him, and watches over him, and reminds him that he’s not alone.)

if I hadn’t already shipped Halt and Duncan because of your previous headcanon, I would now. It is absolute b e a u t i f u l.

I love Duncan’s conflicted emotions, Halt’s silenced anger - Halt’s supposed gravestone?? I never even thought of that but it’s an amazing detail. The dialogue is spot on, too.

You too, anon, THANK YOU for dropping this in my inbox. I TOO AM HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE

[lobster-tales]

Face the Noise

Arcane Rock Band AU

Chapter 15: The Bridge

Summary: Grayson pulls Caitlyn for a chat; a friend reappears.

This work is available here on AO3. Chapter 1   2   3   4   5   6   7   8   9  10  11  12  13  14

“Come in.” The commandant’s muffled voice behind the door.

Grayson didn’t look up when she entered. A trail of red paper hearts led from a shoebox on her desk.

Caitlyn asked, “You wanted to see me?”

“I did.” Grayson caught her questioning gaze and indicated a pen. “I needed help addressing my grandson’s valentines.”

She blinked, unsure. “Commandant, with all due respect, I have classwork-”

“Not right now, you don’t.” Grayson pushed a sheet of paper with names. “Get to it; the little bastard has 3 different classrooms. You take this one.”

Caitlyn waited a moment before giving in. She no longer sat at attention, her movements weighed down by an invisible force. She meticulously began to write each name.

Grayson took quiet notice. After a moment, she asked, “How is training going?”

“Good.”

“... Marcus isn’t harassing you too much?”

“No.”

Grayson folded a finished valentine, placing it in the shoebox. She lingered there, watching Caitlyn. “He said you’ve been doing very well; no more ‘behavioral issues’.”

Caitlyn paused. “Did he say I had behavioral issues?”

“During all the fighting last month. Against the teenagers, then the other recruits.”

So the recruits had reported that night at the bar, despite Viktor’s threat. Caitlyn had wondered when she’d be punished for it. Perhaps now was the moment. “... Ah.”

“But to be honest with you, I like the troublemakers. At least they give a shit.”

“Ma’am, I can assure you that I haven’t been getting into trouble, not since-”

“No, I know.” Her pen scribbled. “That’s what worries me.”

Everything fell into place. “My mother asked you to check in on me, didn’t she?”

“Yes.” Not an admittance, but a matter of fact. “Though I did want to pull you in for a chat anyway. Considering your recent… change.”

Caitlyn remained silent. She had been so good about keeping it all to herself, giving her friends excuses when they wanted to spend time with her. Her grief was buried now, under layers of apathy; she would not uncover it that easily.

Grayson asked, “Do you still spend time with Vanders’ daughters? Powder and… what’s the older one’s name?”

“I don’t,” Caitlyn said firmly.

“Ah.” Grayson paused in understanding. “I see.”

They addressed the cards in silence; though Caitlyn’s handwriting was cleaner, Grayson was much faster at the task.

“I ask because Vander called me a few weeks ago,” Grayson said. “Wanted to know how long he had to wait before filing a missing person’s report.”

Caitlyn’s hand seized up, causing the ink to blot on the cardstock.

“I told him standard procedure was at least 24 hours, unless the circumstances were dire,” Grayson continued. “Then he just thanked me and hung up.”

Caitlyn couldn’t help it; she wanted to know. “Did he ever file a report?”

“That’s the strange thing: he never did.” Grayson met her gaze, questions lingering behind her eyes. “Do you-”

“I don’t know anything,” she said with a bit more bite than intended.

Grayson was undaunted. “Forgive me, Kiramman. It’s my instinct to investigate. You understand, you’re also a detective.”

She certainly didn’t feel like one. Not anymore.

“But if you… think back, to the last time you saw them,” Grayson treaded carefully. “Did they say anything unusual? Did something happen?”

So that was it. Grayson was worried about Vander. She just wanted to make sure her friend was okay.

But Caitlyn couldn’t offer that information. She knew she didn’t owe Vi anything, especially after the way things ended. Yet, she still couldn’t betray Vi’s trust. Even now.

“I’m sorry, Commandant,” Caitlyn murmured. “I wish I could help.”

She wondered if Grayson saw through her. If she did, she didn’t show it. Instead, Grayson gave her a simple nod.

Another quiet moment. “You know, Kiramman,” Grayson said, clearing her throat. “This kind of thing… it happens. It’s unfortunate, but we get through it.” She finished her final card. “Keep your chin up.”

Caitlyn, unconvinced, muttered, “Thank you.”

                                                 ☆ ☆ ☆                                                          

Caitlyn saw the familiar shadow before she left the academy doors. Ekko stood in the parking lot, a puffy coat protecting him from the cold. His eyes were tired, hands in his pockets, and when she approached, he only offered her a curt nod.

“Ekko,” Caitlyn said, in greeting, but also questioning. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, as if nonchalance was an option. “You wanna go for a drive?”

Caitlyn considered him, trying to discern his intentions.

“I just want to talk,” he clarified.

She finally got to see the old car from the inside. Ekko had rigged up multiple speakers, though as she examined the chaotic wiring, Caitlyn thought it may have been Powder’s work. Fervent rap mingled with soulful punk, the car’s bass thrumming with each new tune.

“So,” Ekko said, clearing his throat. “How are things?”

“Fine.”

“How’s cop school?”

“It’s fine.”

He nodded, his usual coolness interrupted by discomfort. “You uh… get tased yet? I heard you have to get tased to become a cop.”

“Ekko, what–what are we doing?” His grimace reflected her tone, but Caitlyn was past caring. She didn’t have time for this.

“Alright, alright,” he said, gathering his thoughts. “Well, let me start by saying–I’m sorry. I don’t know exactly what happened between you two-”

“Yeah,” Caitlyn scoffed. “Join the club.”

“But.” He tossed a glance her way. “I know… I didn’t mean for it to go down like that. I didn’t mean for any of it to play out the way it did, not just the stuff with you and Vi, but also…”

She flinched at the name, but closed her eyes and forced herself to relax. He was trying to make amends; she could respect that, even if she couldn’t quite forgive him yet. “It’s okay, Ekko. What you did was… well, to be quite frank, it was really stupid, but I know why you did it.”

“Yeah,” he said quietly. His gaze was trained on the road ahead. They seemed to have no destination, just passing through neighborhoods.

The silence eased them both, and eventually Caitlyn’s curiosity defeated her pride. “So how did it all… play out?”

His fingers flexed on the steering wheel. “Not… great.”

Caitlyn raised an eyebrow, prompting further.

Ekko sighed, his shoulders slouching in defeat. “You remember that night, the night of your prom thing-”

“Charity gala.”

“Whatever. Well, that night, when Powder and I were hanging out with Silco, we took some Shimmer and then things got… weird. He started saying all this law jargon and wanted us to sign some contract.”

“A contract?” Caitlyn asked, bewildered. “But that’s not legally binding if you’re under the influence, not to mention a minor.”

“I don’t know, okay? He, apparently, has a really good legal team.” Quieter now, under his breath. “Really. Good.”

A feeling of dread set in. “What did you sign?”

“I didn’t sign anything, but Powder did,” he said. “I don’t remember what it was. All I know is, that next morning, she was gone.”

“What do you mean ‘gone’?”

“She disappeared. Didn’t say goodbye, we don’t even know if she ran or if someone picked her up.”

Of course. The missing person’s report. But it was never filed, which meant “You found her, though?”

“We didn’t get a chance to look before someone dropped off an envelope for Vander. A court summons. When he went in, judge told him he was too late.” He grimaced. “Bastards gave him the wrong time.”

“That can’t be legal.”

“Who knows. Either way, he lost custody.”

Caitlyn’s jaw dropped. “Wh-what? You mean…”

“Yeah. Silco’s her legal guardian now.”

The Lanes passed by them, the houses melting into businesses. The engine revved as Ekko took the onramp.

Caitlyn couldn’t believe what she’d just heard. How could this man, this stranger just rip their family apart? “I’m- I’m so sorry, Ekko, that’s awful…”

“Yeah,” he repeated.

They didn’t speak for a long moment. Caitlyn tried to wrap her head around it, the unimaginable grief. She gathered her nerve to ask the question that was nagging her. “... How is Vi?”

“Not good. She won’t talk to me, or even Vander. She’s just angry and… quiet.”

“I see.” She knew where this was going; Ekko’s agenda was clear now. “That’s why you wanted to see me, isn’t it? You want me to talk to her.”

“... Yeah,” he admitted. “I mean, I wanted to apologize, too. It seemed like you two had a good thing going and if I hadn’t… well, she wouldn’t have broken things off.”

The grief returned, overwhelming her sympathy. “Did she how she ‘broke things off’?”

“No.”

She had replayed the night so many times in her mind. “At 2 AM, on a Thursday,” Caitlyn muttered.

“Ouch. Text or call?”

“Call.”

“Well at least it wasn’t a text,” he said.

Despite the situation, Caitlyn laughed dryly. “I guess.”

They were long out of The Lanes now, in the surrounding plains. Farmland stretched, the occasional small canyon breaking the land. They turned into a wooded area, the trees bare limbs arching over the road.

They were far from civilization, but for some reason, Caitlyn wasn’t nervous with him. Ekko had a soothing presence, one that she wanted to trust.

He pulled off to the side. They both stepped out of the car, and Ekko led her to the underside of an abandoned bridge. Every inch of the structure was covered in graffiti.

Caitlyn searched the myriad of names and images, picturing the people who left their mark.

“You know what a tag is?” Ekko asked.

“No.”

“Every graffiti artist goes by one. Something easy to recognize. Here’s mine,” he said, showing her a green, hourglass shape. “And here’s… Powder’s.”

Beside the first tag, the head of a pink, angry monkey. Caitlyn frowned. “What’s the monkey for?”

“It’s this toy she has; one of those wind up cymbal monkeys? She won it, that night she went to the carnival with Mylo and…” His voice trailed off.

Caitlyn winced. Another painful memory. How could one family be so haunted? “Does Vi have a tag?” she asked, hoping the subject change would help.

“Yeah.” He pointed to a black roman numeral. “She didn’t come out with us as often, though. Mostly it was me and Powder.”

Caitlyn searched his face. “Ekko, can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“... Are you okay?”

His face was stone, though she picked out the pain behind his eyes. “I… I don’t know. Life goes on, I guess.”

They stared at the wall, reading the memories.

“You know,” Ekko said. “When we were hanging out with Silco and his… goons, Powder acted really strange. It was like the attention, the VIP treatment, was getting to her head. She was actually kind of a dick…” His brow furrowed, lost in thought. “One of those nights, she got really drunk and told Silco how people call her Jinx. Then he started calling her that.”

“What?” Caitlyn asked. “He called her Jinx? Did she get upset?”

“That’s the weird thing. She didn’t. In fact, I think she… liked it.” He shuddered. “I don’t know, I… In those last few nights, she just seemed like she was a different person.”

Caitlyn understood. “You felt like you lost her before she was even gone. That’s why it’s easier.”

“Not easier,” he muttered. “Just… different. I did this for… all of us, yes, but mostly for her. I wanted her to have a way out, to have the life that she deserved. I just didn’t think she’d leave us behind. Leave me behind.”

She saw him more clearly than she ever had. “You loved her.”

Ekko smirked wistfully, saying, “‘I had a crush, until she started talking to the gun.’”

“What’s that from?”

“One of my new songs.”

Surprised, Caitlyn asked, “You’re still writing songs?”

“Yeah. The Firelights may be gone, but I’m still here.”

“I see…” She watched him. “Do you still want to make it big?”

“I want to make music.” He faced her, squaring his shoulders. “My music, authentic, none of this fake shit. That’s all Silco offered; he wanted us stuffed in a category, but fuck that. I want the truth.”

Caitlyn admired his passion. “Good. We need more of it in this world.” She paused, glancing around. “Do you… have any leftover spraypaint?”

He chuckled. “Heh, do I. What color?”

“Got any purple? Blue?”

“Sure.” He watched as she dragged out the first line. “What are you drawing?”

“My tag.” Caitlyn took a few moments, finishing the final touches before stepping back.

Ekko surveyed her work with his arms crossed, nodding in approval. “Nice.”

“Thanks.” Caitlyn took a deep breath, steeling herself. “I’ll talk to her. To Vi. I don’t know if she’ll listen, but… I’ll do my best.”

He smiled, and Caitlyn was reminded how young he was. “Thank you,” he said softly, then, “You going to the ABC party? For Valentines Day?”

“The what?”

“ABC? Anything But Clothes?” He shifted. “Like a lingerie party?”

Caitlyn felt the blood rush to her cheeks, though she didn’t know why. “Oh.”

“Are you going?” he asked again. “It’s at the same place we played the house show.”

“I… guess I can.”

“Good. I’m playing a set there; Vi promised she’d at least stay through my show. You can talk to her afterwards.”

“... Okay.”

Ekko took a deep breath, pulling his puffy jacket tighter around him. “We should probably go.”

Caitlyn lingered for another moment, getting one last look at her graffiti tag. The blue lines beneath met the purple cloudy lines above, creating the shape of a cupcake.

[araluen-arrows]

ode to caitlyn o’carrick

caitlyn was a sickly child. we all know that, right? the royal physicians always advised against the princess going outside for long periods of time. she was anemic. had asthma. her immune system was weak in general.

except what we don’t know is how strong her spirit was. cait was four years and change younger than ferris, and four years and change plus eight minutes younger than halt. so in many ways she was the baby of her family, but she never acted it. 

cait was stern and dark-haired and serious, like her oldest brother, but she had a flashing sense of humor and a witty smile, like ferris. except her smile didn’t hide secrets and political maneuvering—well, not until later, anyway.

she knew her brothers, both of them, from the outside all the way in. she knew ferris’ ambitions, halt’s fears, and a lot more besides. which is why, when ferris returns to dun kilty, dripping wet and holding only one oar, she does not believe him that halt drowned on accident. halt, who swam like a fish and loved the lakes and rivers of hibernia with his whole heart, could not possibly have died like that.

unless, obviously, someone had killed him. 

“cait?” ferris asks, and she realizes that she doesn’t know him any more. not really. “our brother is dead. please, you have to help me. I am King now.” 

caitlyn wants to cry and throw things at him. she wants to scream accusations for the guards and nobles to hear. she does none of those things. instead, she manages a nod and a quiet of course, brother. 

she attends the funeral, her face veiled, dark hair whipping in the wind, as she is expected to. the resultant cough hurts her throat for a week, but not as much as halt’s death and ferris’s betrayal hurt her heart. 

she sequesters herself in her room for that week, and no one bothers her. the castle and nation are in mourning, and they assume their princess wants space. but on the eighth day, ferris’s coronation, she makes an appearance. 

“might I be allowed to play at your coronation, my king?” she asks. “you know I have always had an affinity for the harp.” ferris pulls a face. his crown already sits atop his head like he was born for it. 

“that would not be proper,” he says sternly.

“come, now.” caitlyn lays a hand on his arm. she is the only one that is able to still do so. “you know well that I have not the stamina for dancing and speech-making. it would be my honor to play the harp while you dance tonight.”

ferris eventually agrees. something about caitlyn has always been impossible to deny. that night, she sits in the corner and plucks serenely at her gilded harp. it was a gift from the late king and queen when she turned six and clamored to join her brothers’ violin lessons. she took to music quicker and more readily than they ever had, and now, it is a skill that serves her well. 

as she plays, she keeps an eye on the dancers that twirl through the hall, and she opens her ears to the conversation as well. 

“...happened so soon after the death of the king...”

“a tragedy, to have lost the crown prince, king, and queen within a single year...”

“coronation seems to have been awfully soon, considering...”

at the next royal function, she asks to play again.

and again.

even as her health deteriorates, caitlyn remains a cornerstone at balls and galas, always sitting in the corner, fingers gliding over harp strings, ears and eyes peeled.

even as she is increasingly confined to her quarters by the order of the king, she gathers journal upon journal in the floorboards of her rooms, ledgers full of courtly gossip, files on every minor noble in the kingdom. 

especially those who believe ferris killed his brother. those who believe the monarchy should pass to a more able king.

when sean is born, he is half-royal, half bastard, the son of a guard that was always kind to caitlyn. she knows it does not matter, because he will be stronger than every noble that scorns him, and twice as smart.

“you will be the o’carrick that saves clonmel,” caitlyn whispers to him, her voice weak but determined. “you will be the good thing that comes out of this family.”

the irony to this statement, is, of course, all the good that caitlyn could have done if her brother had not kept her locked away like a damsel in distress.

she passes away, wilting in solitude, five months before she turns thirty. clinging to hope for her son and her kingdom even as she is no longer able to cling to life itself. 

those journals are left to sean as a birthright. a way to reclaim what should have been halt’s, but will now have to be his. they are his nursery tales, his prayer scripts, and his bedtime stories.

when he is older, he forms alliances with the right people, his mother’s voice whispering in his ear all the while. he brushes his fingers over her written words, feeling the press of a distant pen, and devours her political secrets like a starving man given bread.

he maneuvers and maneuvers, gaining favors from the common people. the army. the servants. the titled nobility. caitlyn left him books full of advice on them all. 

before he turns twenty, his uncle is dead, cut down by an assassin’s crossbow bolt. sean assumes the throne and brings the good his mother so desperately hoped for. clonmel is at peace, stronger and wealthier than ever before. 

and none of it would have been possible without caitlyn o’carrick, the woman who hoped and believed so fiercely in change that she wrought it herself. 

[gstqaobc]

Prince Harry and Meghan Markle 'are thinking of buying $7m Malibu mansion with a pool and tennis court and Robert Downey Jr and Caitlyn Jenner as neighbours'

£5.4m Malibu home boasts a swimming pool, tennis court and five bedrooms for Meghan, Harry and Archie

Mansion used to be home to Baywatch star David Charvet and his wife Brooke Burke

It would be short 30-mile trip to Meghan's mother Doria, 63, and near Hollywood for potential business deal.

YEAH RIGHT, I AM THINKING OF MOVING SOMEWHERE WARM, BEING HEALTHY AND BEING A BILLIONAIRE. MAYBE THAT AMOUNT IS HOW MUCH SHE OWES IN TAXES AND BACKTAXES SHE HASNT BEEN PAYING AND SHE IS THROWING THAT NUMBER OUT THERE SO HMTQ WILL PAY HER OFF. NO LUCK SUNSHINE,NO PUN INTENDED! YOU HAD THE DEAL OR NO DEAL ONE AND ONLY OPTION, YOU SAID NO DEAL. 

YOURE BROKE,  YOU SPENT ALL YOUR MONEY AND YOUR BACKERS SETTING UP SUSSEX ROYAL🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂 WEBSITES, DOMAINS ETC DIDNT YOUR MOTHER EVER TEACH YOU THE PHRASE DONT PUT ALL YOUR EGGS IN ONE BASKET??? I GUESS NOT. YOU GET NOTHING, EXCEPT AN ORANGE JUMPSUIT AND THE TITLE OF TREASON FOR ALL YOU HAVE DONE. YOUR ABILITY TO BASTARDIZE YOUR TITLE IS GONE. SOON YOUR TITLE, HRH, AND H, AS YOU REFER TO HRH PRINCE HENRY CHARLES ALBERT DAVID. SO DISRESPECTFUL!!!

DO YOU THINK HE CARES ABOUT THE TITLE DUKE OF SUSSEX???😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 HE WILL STRIP THAT TITLE HIMSELF NO MATTER WHAT HE IS A BLOOD HRH RACHEL AND YOU REMAIN A BLOOD CON, GRIFTER FROM THE FAMILY OF CONS ANS GRIFTERS.  I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT FEW WEEKS. WILL YOU AND ARCHIE SHOW UP?? WILL YOU?? THE WHOLE COMMONWEALTH AND ESPECIALLY THE WHOLE OF ENGLAND LOATHES YOU, YOURE A BIG JOKE AND HAVE DISRESPECTED OUR QUEEN. WE DO NOT TAKE KINDLY TO THAT. I AM READY FOR THE DOWNFALL, BRING IT ON RACHEL, WE ARE ALL WAITING AND WAITING. GSTQAOBC 🇨🇦🇬🇧🇦🇺🇳🇿 

[bloodyfeverdreams]

Whumptober Prompt #19- Asphyixiation

...

“Are you cooking?”  Len’s voice startled him, making him nearly drop the spoon he was using to plate.

Barry rolled his eyes at him, showing his progress. He’d been able to create a grilled chicken masterpiece, only slightly burned, with an asparagus rice pilaf on the side right under Len’s nose.  Granted, the man had been napping but it still counted.

Len raised an eyebrow at him, expecting an answer.

“I wanted to do something nice for my partner.”  Barry shrugged, trying to stamp down his blush.

“And instead you cooked?”

Barry glared at him.

Len snickered, uncaring.

“I’m not a bad cook.”  He defended himself.  “I was able to survive on my own before you started cooking for me.”

Len almost never shared the kitchen, a remnant from his past, to be able to control everything that went into his body.  Barry understood that, but he did like cooking, even if his skills were rather limited in that area.

“You were living on instant ramen, microwavable meals, and protein bars when I met you, Barry Allen.”  Len said, unimpressed.  “You couldn’t cook to save your life.”

Barry frowned.  Len hadn’t known, couldn’t know, that Barry had no issues cooking but he hadn’t wanted to show Len just how much food he truly ate.  When they’d first met, he hadn’t been used to his powers, and kept everything of a high calorie count on hand, no matter how bad it was for him.  Now, he kept most of his caloric bars and extra food at STAR labs.  Caitlyn and Cisco didn’t mind, and understood his need to keep Len out of his life as the Flash.  He’d already ruined his friendship with Patty, he wasn’t going to ruin what he had with Len.  It was too important to lose.  His mother had once said true love only came knocking once, so he better answer the door.  And he was damn well answering Len’s knock.

“Well then, you’re just gonna have to try some.”  Barry said, holding out the spoon with some of the pilaf on it.  “After all, if my life depends on it…”

Len laughed, shoving his hand away.  “I don’t think it’s your life on the line here, Scarlet.”

Barry gaped, thoroughly offended.  “You bastard.”

Len’s smile made up for it though.  “Alright, Scarlet, finish up.  I’m gonna finish up my last project.  Meant to do it before I fell asleep.  Then I’ll brave dinner.”

Len leaned over and Barry met him in the middle, sharing a quick kiss.

“Dinner will be ready in five, you better be too.”  Barry said, smacking Len’s ass.  “Or I’m poisoning it on purpose.”

Len’s laugh echoed all around the kitchen as he went back into the living room.

Barry finished plating the chicken and pilaf as best as he could, stealthy watching a YouTube video on mute.  He had no sense of style but Len liked the more sophisticated stuff, his fancy job as an architectural engineer gave him plenty of cash on hand.  Barry would’ve thought it suspicious if he hadn’t met Len’s boss, a Captain Rip Hunter, a retired RAF.

Now with dinner finished and plated, Barry thought to himself that it looked pretty damn good overall.

“Lenny!”  Barry called.  “Dinner.”

“Coming, Scarlet!”  Len replied at the same volume.

Barry shook his head, thinking if only he knew that his partner was the Scarlet Speedster, instead of turning the color scarlet when blushing.  But he knew he had to keep Len in the dark, no matter how much Len hated lies.  Len couldn’t protect himself from the likes Thawne or Zoom so Barry had to do the protecting.

“Alright, Scarlet, let’s see what creature you’ve sewn together.”  Len said.  “I’ll try not to become deathly ill at the sight of it and grace you with a name.”

Barry rolled his eyes but his laughter bubbled up anyway.  He loved it when Len showed just how much of a nerd he was, it had taken him months to get past those walls.

Len cut into the chicken, admiring it.  “Not pink in the middle, promising sign.”

Barry stared with bated breath, watching Len try a bite.

“It’s good.”  Len smiled, looking impressed.

Barry couldn’t keep the sigh of relief inside him.  “I worked really hard on this.  This is my first time cooking for you on my own.  I wanted it to be perfect.”

Len’s eyes softened, and he took Barry’s hand.

“It’s not your fault I’m a control freak.”  Len sighed.

“You’re not a control freak.”  Barry protested.

Len raised an eyebrow in sarcastic disbelief.

“You’re not.”  Barry insisted.  “You had a rough time growing up, and you’ve got some defense mechanisms, some intense coping techniques, but you don’t try to control me.  You don’t say I can’t see Joe even though you don’t like him much, or that I can’t be friends with Cisco because he’s interested in your sister.  You like to control your surroundings, Len, you’re not a control freak.”

Len pulled him into a kiss, this one more passionate, more intimate.  He knew Len had a hard time letting down his walls, his abusive father, people who only pretended to care because it got them ahead, people who didn’t like Len’s love language, it had made Len very jaded and lonely.  Barry had been one of the only ones who understood why Len did the things he did, and didn’t judge him for it.  Len once told him that he’d never understood how someone as wonderful as Barry had put up with him for so long.  Barry hadn’t gone on patrol that night, thankfully Central City got along just fine without him, and had spent the night having a serious talk about how Len was the wonderful one and Barry was the problem in their relationship.  A lot of tears had been shed that night, on both accounts, and they’d come out nigh attached at the hip.  Barry had realized Len was knocking on his door, and he knew Len had realized the same.

“Scarlet, come back to me.”  Len said, already having pulled back.

Barry snapped out of his trance.  “Sorry.  Guess I got a little caught up in the moment.”

“We could always skip dinner.”  Len teased.  “I’m sure it’ll keep.  We could continue this in the bedroom.”

Barry shoved down all the ideas that came to his mind.

“No, I want a nice dinner with you.”  Barry said, clearing his throat and purging his mind.  “I put a lot of work into this and I’m not reheating it.”

“Then dinner it is.”  Len said, scooping up a bite of the pilaf.  “I would do anything if it made you happy, Barry Allen.”

A rush of feeling washed over Barry.  Len had made declarations of love like that before, but it always felt like the first time each time.  It always made Barry fall just a little more in love with Len.

A small gasp escaped Len’s lips.  Barry blushed, he couldn’t believe his first attempt at cooking for Len was going so well.  He couldn’t believe in the three years he’d been with Len he’d never cooked for the man.

“Scar- Scarlet?  What is this?”  Len cleared his throat, wiping his face with a napkin.

“Asparagus rice pilaf.”  Barry said, frowning at Len’s unusual mannerism.

Len pulled at his throat, clearly in discomfort.

“Are you okay?”  Barry asked, his own food abandoned.  He knelt beside Len.  “Lenny, what’s wrong?”

“Is- sesame seed?”  Len choked, unable to draw a full breath.

“I used some sesame seed oil.”  Barry guessed.  “Only a teaspoon.”

While the Flash may be what he loved most, he was still a CSI by day, and he knew anaphylaxis when he saw it.

“Do you have an Epi-Pen?”  Barry asked, his panic seeping into his voice.

Len shook his head.  “Know… how to… avoid.”

Len’s lips were turning blue, as well as the skin under his eye from lack of oxygen.  An ambulance wouldn’t get there in time.  Len needed medical help immediately or he was going to die.

So Barry did what he did best.  He scooped Len into his arms, and ran.

They arrived at the hospital within seconds, Len’s eyes realizing how they’d gotten there.

“Somebody please help, he’s dying!”  Barry shouted as they entered the ER.

The ER staff sprung into action, helping Len onto a gurney and a nurse fetching an Epi-Pen, slamming it into Len’s thigh.  With a gasp, Len’s breath returned to him.  The nurses wheeled him behind doors Barry wasn’t allowed into, leaving Barry to talk to the nurse now assigned to Len’s paperwork.  He explained dinner, saying that the Flash had noticed Len being unable to breath and whisked them both to the hospital.  He left out the part where Barry had been the cook, and implied the restaurant they had clearly been out had left out the sesame seed oil from the menu, making up a false name for the restaurant.

“He’s lucky Flash saw you, hon.”  The nurse said.  “An ambulance might’ve taken too long.  The Flash saves the day again.”

“Will he be okay?”  Barry asked, unashamed of the tears now running down his face.

“He should be.”  The nurse said.  “The Flash is pretty quick, he seems to have gotten here in time.”

Barry nodded and started to fill out the clipboard the secretary had given him.

“Are you next of kin?”  The secretary asked kindly when he gave it back.

“His sister but she’s in Coast City right now.”  Barry said, knowing Lisa had gone on an impromptu business trip for the Snart family business, needing to promote Len’s particular brand.  “I can call her.”

“Just write her number here.”  The secretary held out the form and Barry dutifully wrote down the number.  “Are you his husband?”

“Partner.”  Barry said.  Len hated calling Barry his boyfriend, said it made him feel like he was twenty again and he had long left the embarrassment of his twenties behind him.

The secretary nodded.  “Just listen for his name.”

Barry nodded and sat down, hugging himself so tight, if he didn’t have the healing factor he did, he would’ve left bruises.

Forty-five agonizing minutes later, “Family of Leonard Snart?”

Barry had to stop himself from flashing over there.  “I’m his partner, Barry Allen.”

“Well Mister Allen, you were very lucky Flash was there.  Leonard is going to be just fine.”  Barry nearly collapsed in relief.  “Now we’re going to keep him overnight, just in case, but the worst should be over.”

“Thank you.  Thank you so much.”  Barry shook the outstretched hand.

“I will be prescribing him an Epi-Pen after this, by the way.” The doctor added.  “The pharmacist will go over how to use it.”

“Can I see him now?”

The doctor nodded and began to lead him through the door.  “He’ll be very tired, the medication can often make a person drowsy, so don’t be afraid if he falls asleep.  This experience must’ve been very frightening for you.”

“I didn’t even see it at first, didn’t see it.”  Barry admitted.  “I’m a bad partner, I’m sure he knows all of my allergies.”

“Cut yourself a break, you’re not the first nor will you be the last.  You know now, that’s what matters going forward.”  The doctor stopped just outside of a “room” that had no doors, only curtains.

Barry nodded, thanked the woman, and headed “inside”, past the curtains.  Len lay sleeping in a flimsy hospital gown, bed raised up, nasal cannula wrapped around his face, an IV in his arm.  Barry sat down in the standard uncomfortable hospital chair, waiting for Len to wake up.  He didn’t have to wait long.

“Who knew I had you right on the money, Barry?”  Len mumbled, his eyes fluttering open.  “You did poison me.”

“I’m so sorry.”  Barry said, a few more tears slipping down his cheeks.  “I should’ve known, I should’ve been more careful.”

Len cupped Barry’s face gentler than he deserved, wiping away the tears.

“I didn’t tell you, it’s not your fault.”  Len said.  “I should’ve figured you’d get tired of me cooking all the time.”

“No, Len, don’t blame yourself.”  Barry said, scooting closer to his partner.  “You’re the one who could’ve died, and it would’ve been my fault.”

Len shook his head.  “You didn’t know.  I didn’t tell you.  Looks like we’ve both kept secrets from each other.”

Bary blushed, unable to meet Len’s eyes.

“I guess I really do know you, even if it’s subconscious.  My Scarlet Speedster.��  Len muttered.  “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I’ve already lost so much to being the Flash.”  Barry admitted.  “My mother was murdered by a man from the future because he hated who I was going to grow up to be, my father was wrongfully convicted of her murder and I still can’t see him unless it’s behind glass, and I can’t have a normal life anymore.  I was given these powers for a reason, Lenny, not because of random chance, but because I’m supposed to be the Hero of Central City, the Fastest Man Alive.  But because I have these powers, because I chose to put myself on the line, it puts everyone I love on the line too.  Cisco and Caitlyn, my STAR labs friends?  They’ve both been kidnapped by villains who are trying to get to me.  Captain Cold once threatened Cisco’s brother to get him to build another gun for him and I just… I couldn’t bring you into that world.  I couldn’t do that to you.  You trusted me, you were supposed to feel safe around me.  And how am I supposed to do that if I’m the Flash?”

Len stared at him, his face mostly blank with a small frown, processing Barry’s ramblings.

“It’s not that I didn’t trust you either.”  Barry continued when Len didn’t say anything.  “I trust you with my life, Lenny.  I just wanted… I just wanted you to keep yours, without any of my problems putting you in danger.”

Something slid across Barry’s hand.  Barry nearly jumped in shock, before he realized it was Len’s hand, intertwining with his.

“That’s a pretty good reason, I guess.”  Len muttered, his eyes straight ahead.  Barry squeezed his hand, giving Len time.  He had trouble making eye contact in difficult conversations, so Barry just let him stare ahead.  “I… never really considered what Flash’s family would go through for what he does.  I don’t think many people do.  Our society takes heroes for granted, thinking that they’ll always be there for us.  It’s easy to critique and praise from afar, but you’re right in the thick of it.  And now so am I.  And I’m… surprisingly okay with that.”

“What?”

“Scarlet, you’re the one.”  Len pressed on, squeezing Barry’s hand like a lifeline.  “You’re the one I want to wake up to in the morning, and the last thing I wanna see before I go to sleep at night.  You make me laugh, you make me cry, you put up with my bullshit, and I put up with yours.  You make me want to go ring shopping, Lisa called it.  I’ve never wanted that before in my life.  I’ve never had anyone stick with me this long, let alone live with me who wasn’t a desperate roommate or Mick, and Mick doesn’t count.  I’ll admit, I’m a little freaked out, and I’m gonna be mad you kept it a secret a little later down the line, but for right now, with what I want… I’m good being the Flash’s partner.  I want to be the Flash’s partner.”

Barry stared at Len in amazement, unable to process Len’s words.

“That is,” Len hesitated, “if you’ll still have me.”

“Marry me.”

Len whipped his head around.  Both of them were surprised, even though the words had come out of Barry’s mouth.  But he wasn’t taking them back now.  Len knew everything and still wanted him.

“I know this is probably the worst time to ask, I don’t even have a ring or a speech, but I’m not an idiot.  You can’t say something like that and not expect me to react.”  Barry then proceeded to kneel on the ground.  “I love you, Leonard Snart, more than anyone I’ve ever loved in my life.  You’re my true love, my soulmate.  Marry me.”

“I’m taking your last name.”  Len whispered, his voice barely audible.

Barry gave a watery chuckle.  “Excuse me?”

“I’m taking your last name.”  Len said, his chest heaving, tears in his eyes.  “Always hated Snart.”

Barry felt tears well up in his own eyes.  “Is that a yes?”

“Of course it’s a yes.”  Len nodded.  “How could it be anything else?”

Barry laughed hysterically, emotionally exhausted with uncontainable ecstasy, the tears of happiness falling down his cheeks.  Even Len let a few tears slip.  Barry jumped up and kissed him, unable to control the heat and passion overflowing from the two of them.  Len pulled back sharply, coughing hard.

“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh, are you okay, I’m so sorry.”  Barry threw himself back.

“Water.”  Len gasped out, trying to get his coughing under control.  Barry grabbed the cup on the bedside table and held it up to Len’s mouth.  Len drank slowly, the strain on his lungs easing.  Once Len was able to breathe again, Barry set the water cup down.

“Maybe we should pick this back up when you’re not recovering from a near-death experience.”  Barry said, wiping at his eyes.

Len nodded listlessly, his body slumping against the bed.

“You’re exhausted.”  Barry maneuvered around the machines and tubes to lay down beside his fiancé, and didn’t that thought send a thrill down his spine.  He wasn’t entirely sure if the hospital would allow him to sleep beside Len but at the moment, he didn’t care.  “I’m not going anywhere.  Go to sleep.”

Len adjusted so his arm was wrapped around Barry’s shoulders, their legs were intertwined, and their foreheads were almost touching.  There wasn’t really room on the bed for two people but they made do.  They always had before.

“Goodnight my hero.”  Len mumbled, already half-asleep.  “My future husband.  Husband hero.”

Barry chuckled.  “Goodnight, my darling fiancé.  I love you.”

A soft snore was his only response.  Barry allowed himself one more small smile, but snuggling into his fiancé and slipping into sleep himself.