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Kickstarting the Red Team Blues audiobook, which Amazon won't sell (read by Wil Wheaton!)
Red Team Blues is my next novel, a post-cyberpunk anti-finance finance thriller; it’s a major title for my publishers Tor Books and Head of Zeus, and it’s swept the trade press with starred reviews all ‘round. Despite all that, Audible will not sell the audiobook. In fact, Audible won’t sell any of my audiobooks. Instead, I have to independently produce them and sell them through Kickstarter:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/red-team-blues-another-audiobook-that-amazon-wont-sell
If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/21/anti-finance-finance-thriller/#marty-hench
Audible is Amazon’s monopoly audiobook platform. It has a death-grip on the audiobook market, commanding more than 90% of genre audiobook sales, and every single one of those audiobooks is sold with Amazon’s DRM on it. That means that you can’t break up with Amazon without throwing away those audiobooks. Under the 1998 Digital Millennium Copyright Act, I can’t give you a tool to convert my own copyrighted audiobooks to a non-Amazon format. Doing so is a felony carrying a five year prison sentence and a $500,000 fine for an act that in no way infringes anyone’s copyright! Indeed, merely infringing copyright is much less illegal than removing Amazon’s mandatory DRM from my own books!
I’ve got amazing publishers who support my crusade against DRM, but they’re not charities. If they can’t sell my audiobooks on the platform that represents 90% of the market, they’re not going to make audio editions at all. Instead, I make my own audiobooks, using brilliant voice actors like Amber Benson and @neil-gaiman, and I sell them everywhere except Audible.
Doing this isn’t cheap: I’m paying for an incredible studio (Skyboat Media), a world-class director (Gabrielle de Cuir), top-notch sound editing and mastering, and, of course, killer narrators. And while indie audiobook platforms like Libro.fm and downpour.com are amazing, the brutal fees extracted by Apple and Google on app sales means that users have to jump through a thousand hoops to shop with indie stores. Most audiobook listeners don’t even know that these stores exist: if a title isn’t available on Audible, they assume no audiobook exists.
That’s where Kickstarter comes in: twice now, I’ve crowdfunded presales of my audiobooks through KS, and these campaigns were astoundingly successful, smashing records and selling thousands of audiobooks. These campaigns didn’t just pay my bills (especially during lockdown, when our household income plunged), but they also showed other authors that it was possible to evade Amazon’s monopoly chokepoint and sell books that aren’t sticky-traps for Audible’s walled garden/prison:
https://www.publishersweekly.com/pw/by-topic/columns-and-blogs/cory-doctorow/article/90282-we-wrote-a-book-about-why-audible-won-t-sell-our-book-and-snuck-it-onto-audible.html
And today, I’m launching the Kickstarter for Red Team Blues, and even by the standards of my previous efforts, I think this one’s gonna be incredible.
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/red-team-blues-another-audiobook-that-amazon-wont-sell
For starters, there’s the narrator: @wilwheaton, whose work on my previous books is outstanding, hands-down my favorite (don’t tell my other narrators! They’re great too!):
https://wilwheaton.net/
Beyond Wil’s narration, there’s the subject matter. The hero of Red Team Blues is a hard-charging forensic accountant who’s untangled every Silicon Valley finance scam since he fell in love with spreadsheets as as a MIT freshman, dropped out, got his CPA ticket, and moved west. Now, at the age of 67, Marty Hench is ready to retire, but a dear old friend — a legendary cryptographer — drags him back for one last job — locating the stolen keys to the backdoor he foolishly hid in a cryptocurrency that’s worth more than a billion dollars.
That’s the starting gun for a “grabby next-Tuesday thriller” that sees Marty in between three-letter agencies and international crime syndicates, all of whom view digital technology as a carrier medium for scams, violence and predation. Marty’s final adventure involves dodgy banks, crooked crypto, and complicit officials in a fallen paradise where computers’ libertory promise has been sucked dry by billionaire vampires.
It’s a pretty contemporary story, in other words.
I wrote this one before SVB, before Sam Bankman0Fried and FTX — just like I wrote Little Brother before Snowden’s revelations. It’s not that I’m prescient — fortune-telling is a fatalist’s delusion — it’s that these phenomena are just the most spectacular, most recent examples in a long string of ghastly and increasingly dire scandals.
Red Team Blues blasted out of my fingertips in six weeks flat, during lockdown, when technology was simultaneously a lifeline, connecting us to one another during our enforced isolation; and a tool of predatory control, as bossware turned our “work from home” into “live at work.”
The last time I wrote a book that quickly, it was Little Brother, and, as with Little Brother, Red Team Blues is a way of working out my own anxieties and hopes for technology on the page, in story.
These books tap into a nerve. I knew I had something special in my hands when, the night after I finished the first draft, I rolled over at 2AM to find my wife sitting up in bed, reading.
“What are you doing?” I asked.
“I had to find out how it ended,” she answered.
The next day, my editor sent me a four-line email:
That. Was. A! Fucking! Ride! Whoa!
Within a week, he’d bought Red Team Blues…and two sequels. I finished writing the second of these on Monday, and all three are coming out in the next 22 months. It’s gonna be a wild ride.
Kickstarter backers can get the usual goodies: DRM-free audiobooks and ebooks, hardcovers (including signed and personalized copies), and three very special, very limited-run goodies.
First, there’s naming rights for characters in the sequels — I’m selling three of these; they’re a form of cheap (or at least, reasonably priced) literary immortality for you or a loved one. The sequels are a lot of fun — they go in reverse chronology, and the next one is The Bezzle, out in Feb 2024, a book about prison-tech scams, crooked LA County Sheriff’s Deputy gangs, and real-estate scumbags turned techbros.
The third book is Picks and Shovels (Jan 2025), and it’s Marty’s first adventure after he comes west to San Francisco and ends up working for the bad guys, an affinity scam PC company called “Three Wise Men” that’s run by a Mormon bishop, a Catholic priest and an orthodox rabbi who fleece their faithful with proprietary, underpowered computers and peripherals, and front for some very bad, very violent money-men.
Next, there’s three Marty Hench short story commissions: the Hench stories are machines for turning opaque finance scams into technothrillers. While finance bros use MEGO (“my eyes glaze over”) as a weapon to bore their marks into submission, I use the same performative complexity as the engines of taut detective stories. Commissioning a Hench story lets you turn your favorite MEGO scam into a science fiction story, which I’ll then shop to fiction websites (every story I’ve written for the past 20 years has sold, though in the event that one of these doesn’t, I’ll put it up under a CC license).
Finally, there’s a super-ultra-limited deluxe hardcover edition — and I do mean limited, just four copies! These leather-bound editions have Will Staehle’s fantastic graphic motif embossed in their covers, and the type design legend John D Berry is laying out the pages so that there’s space for a hidden cavity. Nestled in that cavity is a hand-bound early draft edition of The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues. The binding is being done by the fantastic book-artist John DeMerritt. Each copy’s endpapers will feature a custom cryptographic puzzle created especially for it by the cryptographer Bruce Schneier.
I often hear from readers who want to thank me for the work I do, from the free podcast I’ve put out since 2006 to the free, CC BY columns I’ve written for Pluralistic for the past three years. There is no better way to thank me than to back this Kickstarter and encourage your friends to do the same:
https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/doctorow/red-team-blues-another-audiobook-that-amazon-wont-sell
Preselling a ton of audiobooks, ebooks, and print books is a huge boost to the book on its launch — incomparable, really. Invaluable.
What’s more, helping me find a viable way to produce popular, widely heard audiobooks without submitting to Amazon’s DRM lock-in sets an example for other creators and publishers: we have a hell of a collective action problem to solve, but if we could coordinate a response to Audible demanding the right to decide whether our work should have their DRM, it would force Audible to treat all of us — creators, publishers and listeners — more fairly.
I’ll be heading out on tour to the US, Canada, the UK and Germany once the book is out. I’m really looking forward to as many backers in person as I can! Thank you for your support over these many long years — and for your support on this Kickstarter.
Today (Mar 22), I’m doing a remote talk for the Institute for the Future’s “Changing the Register” series.
[Image ID: A graphic showing a phone playing the Red Team Blues audiobok, along with a quote from Booklist, 'Jam-packed with cutting-edge ideas about cybersecurity and crypto. Another winner from an sf wizard.']
#pluralistic#wil wheaton#drm#chokepoint capitalism#Monopoly#audible#amazon#audiobooks#sf#science fiction#post cyberpunk#cyberpunk#technothrillers#thrillers#heists#cryptocurrency#red team blues#marty hench#kickstarter
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Octocon: A Review and Comparison. (Website link)
I am writing this on the 14th of July 2024, which is just three days after the first public release of the app(on the 11th). So some of the things I bring up here may no longer be reinvent, when it is updated in the future. I've also only just started using it, so there may be stuff I'm unaware of.
I think the 2 biggest advantage of octocon is, first the fact that it functions as jake of all trades, and second the safety features. The app has a companion discord bot, as well as in app journaling. Making it so it has features of simplyplural, pluralkit, and lighthouse all in one. In terms of safety, in addition to options for a pin lock, there are also a quick exit option and a stealth mod option. With quick exit enabled you can double top any unoccupied spot on the app to immediately close the app. The stealth mode being enabled makes it so when the launches it appears as a news app(pictures on the right below), to access the real app just double tap the logo. Also the app having no reference to systemhood or plurality in the name makes it more convert.
I could see the app being directly connected to the discord bot as being very useful for systems that split alters often. I know from our experience we often don't really bother with setting up PK profiles for a lot of our system(and doing with tokens every time is also annoying), so having the app and bot linked is useful. The discord bot commands are also more private than PKs.
The app can be used for front and alter tracking, you can also set an alter as primary front if multiple alters are fronting. Also alters in the app are given an ID number which can be changed to organize them, rather it being alphabetical(one of our pet peeves with SP is the fact you can't make organization non alphabetical, I say a host whose name starts with V) The app also lets you make alter folders, which can be used for subsystems among other things. It also let you add friends so they can see who is fronting, much like simplyplural.
There are also several different color options for the app.
As for the journaling, there's both individual alter journals and a journal
Now moving on the things I like less about the app. As a reminder the app just come out and the app will likely be changed in the future.
There is no in app way to edit the info for the system as a whole, this is done via the bot on discord. On a related note system usernames must be between 5 and 16 characters long, which as you might notice is to short for our system name.
The is no dashboard, and no chatting or polls in app, though chatting could still be done on discord with bot. Also there's no browser version.
All alter info is on one tab I could see this getting very crowded. there's less custom field options(not date options for example) and no markdown support(meaning you can't add images and such to bios and the like). There is also currently not wat to achieve alters.
There is no non folder way to represent subsystems in the app, mean there is also no subsystem specific group journals. (Side note lighthouse is very good for keeping track of subsystems, if your system has multiple I recommend you give it a try)
The app's current front history keeping is rather bare bones.
Closing thoughts
For now we are going to continue predominately using simplyplural and pluralkit. Simplyplural for it's better information keeping, and pluralkit do to its prevalence. However I am very excited to see what octocon's future hold and can absolutely understand why some systems would prefer it over alternatives. I am also always glad to see new system resources being created!
#system resources#system apps#did system#cdd system#system stuff#dissociative system#app review#long post#-v#sorry for the any spelling errors#y'know dyslexia and all#octocon
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Everybody Hates Neyo Round 2: Matchmaking Boogaloo
A/N: This is a standalone sequel to “Everybody Hates Neyo,” (NSFW) by @dystopicjumpsuit (that’s me), and “The Blacklist,” by the brilliant @blueink-bluesoul, who also generously let me borrow the character of Daria Trace (THANK YOU!). You don’t need to read those fics to understand this one, but you should because they’re great and they provide more background. I converted the Reader-insert into an OC because to be frank, she’s a piece of work, and I didn’t want to project that onto my readers. That said, as always, feel free to insert yourself into the story if you prefer; I haven’t described the OC beyond being a woman with hair long enough to pull.
Pairing: Commander Neyo x the Admiral (formerly Fem!Reader)
Rating: M | 18+ | Minors DNI
Wordcount: 6.5K (I know)
Warnings and tags: toxic, obsessive behavior; SO MUCH SMUT; hatefucking; rough sex; oral sex; PIV; hair pulling; biting; sex under the influence of alcohol; Neyo and the Admiral being absolute menaces to society
Disclaimer: Let me just put on my Auntie DJ hat for a second. *ahem* This is a work of fiction intended for entertainment only. Please do not take this as a guide to romance or a healthy relationship. Neyo and the Bad-miral are flawed characters in a wildly problematic relationship with more red flags than the Fire Nation. Enjoy!
Matchmaker extraordinaire Daria Trace was not accustomed to failure. When she applied her considerable intellect to a problem, she did not stop until she formulated a solution. Which was why her now-99% matchmaking success rate galled her so intensely. In all her years of matchmaking, she had never encountered a client so stubbornly determined to thwart her efforts as Marshal Commander Neyo. After twelve failed matches—one of which involved a call from an infuriated woman demanding to know “why the kriff you thought I was a good match for that sociopath”—she had reluctantly conceded defeat.
The blacklisting of Commander Neyo from the Right to Love Matchmaking Service spread like wildfire through the GAR gossip channels. Most of the troopers thought it was hilarious; others insisted that he’d finally gotten what he deserved. In fact, the only people who seemed to have any sympathy for Neyo were Commanders Bacara (to be expected) and Fox (somewhat less expected). And when Fox reached out directly to Daria and asked her, as a personal favor, to give Neyo one more chance, she agreed. One more chance, and ONLY to give her an opportunity to get that track record back up to a perfect 100%.
She glared irritably at Neyo’s file and clicked her stylus three times, twirling it between her fingers. The man was impossible. It was no wonder he’d turned to RTL for help finding a partner; any woman in her right mind would run in the opposite direction the minute she looked into those blank, frigid eyes. She shuddered involuntarily. Shark’s eyes. Daria had made a few discreet inquiries after he’d first signed up for the service, just to make sure she wasn’t about to set up some unsuspecting match with a serial murderer. Without fail, every single answer said the same thing: he was an ice-cold sonofabitch, but he had a strict code of honor, and no, he wasn’t a serial murderer. Probably.
She sighed and tossed his file to the side, to be revisited some other day. He was her most difficult client, but by no means was he the only problematic match candidate, and she had a small stack of what Blizzard liked to call The Hopeless Casefiles waiting for her to review. Just thinking about Neyo’s case had given her the beginnings of a spectacular tension headache, and she flipped through the folders quickly, looking for one that was a little less challenging. As she skimmed the stacks of flimsi, her eyes came to rest on one name: Reeda Wai’yen.
Now there’s a thought.
Daria was sure that Reeda was a lovely woman, despite all evidence to the contrary. She was just very… intense. Like Neyo, she had chewed through several potential matches, and the most frequent word that appeared in her failed matches’ post-date surveys was “intimidating,” followed closely by “terrifying.” Daria had sniffed disdainfully that those particular matches simply couldn’t handle a strong woman; however, she had to admit that after several months of trying, she had not been able to find a perfect match for Reeda. She pulled Neyo’s file and laid it out next to Reeda’s. As she compared their backgrounds and preferences, she became more and more convinced. This could work. Given their personalities, it might well be the best possible outcome for society at large if they were both removed from the dating pool. And if it happened to close out her two most annoying files, well. That would just be the cherry on top of her perfect-track-record sundae.
A timid knock sounded on Reeda’s office door.
“Come,” she called shortly.
Her assistant, Lissi, poked her head into the room. “Sorry to bother you, sir, but you’ve received a comm from RTL Matchmaking.”
Reeda cursed. She was up to her ass in flimsiwork, and she was meeting with the Senate Task Force on Galactic Security in ten minutes. She did not have time for this now.
“Take care of it,” she ordered.
“Sir?” Lissi asked, her wide, startled eyes giving her a distinct resemblance to a terrified ash-rabbit.
“Just take care of it,” Reeda repeated, tamping down her irritation at being questioned. “You know my schedule better than I do. Set it up. Somewhere nice—somewhere in the Federal district. I don’t have time to deal with traffic.”
Lissi blinked, nonplussed. “Don’t you want to see who you matched with?”
“No time,” Reeda said, rising to gather her materials for the meeting. “Just put it on my calendar, and I’ll be there.”
Three nights later, Reeda sat in the restaurant at the top of the tower where her penthouse was located, waiting for her mystery date to arrive. She had to commend Lissi’s efficiency in choosing the venue; the only traffic she’d had to endure was at the lift. And it was a lovely restaurant, she had to admit, with stunning views of the Coruscant cityscape. She had only eaten here once since she’d bought the flat, usually opting to have food delivered to her office at the Republic Center for Military Operations as she worked late into the night.
She had resisted the urge to bring her datapad with her to the restaurant, knowing that if she did, she would inevitably get sucked into work, but now she wished she’d taken a moment to review the file from RTL. It wasn’t that she thought all clone troopers were interchangeable; far from it. She had worked closely with them during the war, had fought by their sides, and she had found them to be brave, competent, and loyal. They were also notoriously attractive, but she was a professional, and she was their superior officer, and she had never allowed that line to become blurred—except on one memorable and highly regrettable occasion.
She had had no time for a personal life during the war, but now that it was over—well, to be honest, she still had no time for a personal life. Which was exactly why she had reached out to RTL; it was the perfect solution. She didn’t enjoy solitude. She wanted companionship, and maybe even something more. But she needed a partner who would understand the demands of her career, and nobody understood the burden of duty better than the clones. Now that she had separated from the GAR and returned to her post in her home planet’s military defense force, the rules regarding fraternization no longer applied to her.
She hadn’t bothered to review the file because she’d learned from the previous several failed dates that a promising file was no indicator of compatibility. Still, as she waited for her date, who was now seven minutes late, she wished she’d at least checked to see if he had any identifying marks or tattoos that would make him easier to spot. To be fair, though, the few clones present in the restaurant were already paired up with other diners.
Her stomach rumbled. She hadn’t intended to skip lunch, but she’d had back-to-back meetings with the joint chiefs of the Core Worlds Defense Alliance and the senate appropriations committee, and one thing led to another. The service droid had delivered a basket of fresh, hot bread rolls, which she had heroically resisted for the first six minutes past the scheduled start of the date, but now her resolve began to crumble. If her mystery date didn’t have the basic courtesy to be on time, by the Force, he wouldn’t have a leg to stand on if she ate all the bread before he arrived.
She buttered a roll and took a small bite. She couldn’t suppress the groan of relief at the buttery, yeasty goodness, and she quickly polished it off, then picked up another. She had just begun to butter her third role when the unmistakable voice of a clone spoke next to her.
“Admiral.”
She turned automatically, a smile just beginning to form on her lips, when she caught sight of a familiar set of numbers tattooed on a handsome, arrogant face.
“Oh, no,” she said with disgust. “What are you doing here?”
“I could ask you the same question,” Marshal Commander Neyo replied contemptuously. “I have as much right to be here as you do.”
“I’m on a date,” she snapped.
He looked pointedly at the empty chair across from her. “Looks like your date has a strong sense of self-preservation. Probably took one look at you and ran for their life.”
“He’s just a little late,” she said, tilting her jaw at a haughty angle to hide the flash of hurt at his words.
“That must kill you,” he said with a mirthless chuckle. “I remember the time you made a Jedi padawan cry for being three minutes behind schedule.”
“There were barely tears. Do. Not. Sit,” she gritted out as he made himself comfortable in the chair across from her. He picked up one of the remaining bread rolls and took a large bite, and she sighed. “Why are you here, anyway?”
“It just so happens, I am also on a date,” he said, mumbling around the bite of bread.
“Oh?” she wrinkled her nose at his table manners. “And who’s the unlucky lady?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Some civvie named Reeda.”
Her hand tightened dangerously around her butter knife. Neyo’s eyes dropped to the blade, and he smirked.
“Disappointed?” he asked.
“You could say that,” she said, grinding her jaw. “I’m Reeda.”
He choked on his bite of bread and wheezed a bit, pounding his chest to clear his airway. Alas, he survived.
“What?” he sputtered.
“You didn’t even bother to find out my first name after you were inside me?” she demanded. Her sharp tone attracted attention from the surrounding diners, and she heard a few quiet titters from the tables around her, but she was too irate to care.
“You didn’t even bother to find out who’d be eating dinner with you?” he retorted.
“Don’t pretend you aren’t just as surprised as I am,” she snapped. “Didn’t you read the file?”
“I didn’t get a file, just a call.” He grunted. “Apparently, ‘beggars can’t be choosers,’ and I was lucky to get a match at all.”
“Why am I not surprised?” she mocked.
“Careful, Admiral. Don’t forget they matched you with me.”
“I would be insulted if it weren’t so obviously a mistake. I can’t say I’m impressed with their performance thus far.”
“For once, I agree with you,” he said. “You’d have to be a special kind of incompetent to think we were a good match.”
The service droid approached the table and asked, “May I take your order?”
“He’s not staying,” Reeda cut in.
“I’ll have the bantha filet,” Neyo replied, ignoring her. “Bloody.”
He turned to her and arched his brows. The droid waited expectantly.
“I’ve suddenly lost my appetite,” she lied.
Neyo’s mouth twisted, and he huffed a breath through his nose. “The admiral will have the roast porg. And a bottle of Alderaanian red.”
The droid nodded and ambled away. Reeda glared at Neyo.
“I don’t eat meat, you presumptuous ass,” she said.
“Liar,” he said. “Unfortunately, the souls of the innocent weren’t on the menu, so I had to settle for your second-favorite meal.”
“At least you’re safe, since you obviously have no soul and you’re definitely not innocent,” she said in a pleasant tone.
Damn him for being right about the porg, though. How did he know?
The wine arrived, and he poured a generous glass for each of them. She didn’t toast; just downed half of it in a single swallow. Neyo sipped his and leaned back in his chair to observe her. His sleek, severe hair and the large tattoo on his cheek made him look menacing as hell, but it was his eyes that made brave men take a step back. She didn’t know how it was possible for his eyes to be that unnerving. Gods, why did he have to be so handsome? What a waste of perfectly good Fett genes to have a personality like that.
“Did you stay just to torment me?” she asked when the silence stretched beyond the limits of her endurance.
“And because I heard the filet was good,” he said affably. “What are you even doing on Coruscant? I thought you’d scuttled back to whatever hellhole spawned you.”
“Kuat,” she bit out from between clenched teeth. “I was assigned to work as our military liaison on Coruscant.”
“Couldn’t stand having you back on the planet?” he derided. “I don’t blame them.”
“I need to use the fresher,” she said, flinging her napkin down on the table with excessive force. “Feel free to die while I’m gone.”
She strode purposefully through the restaurant, her face set in a steely mask. She knew she was drawing attention from other patrons, but if she sat at that table and listened to Neyo needle her for one more second, she was either going to stab him or burst into tears. She pushed through the refresher doors and went to the sink, washing her hands just to give herself something to do. The face that stared back at her from the mirror was Admiral Wai’yen, not Reeda. Stern. Unyielding. Unaffected.
She swallowed, and her face crumpled. Tears of rage stung her eyes, and she ruthlessly wiped them away with her clenched fist. A soft noise at the door startled her, and she whirled to face the intruder. Horror flooded her. It was Neyo, and he’d caught her crying in the ladies’ room.
“What the kriff do you think you’re doing in here?” she demanded icily. “Get out.”
He stared at her for a moment, and then he locked the door. Stalking across the room, he cupped her jaw in his hands and tilted her face to get a closer look. She tried to pull away, to put her Admiral Wai’yen mask back in place, but then his thumb stroked softly next to her eye, wiping away the tear that had breached containment. She gasped involuntarily, and his lips collided with hers.
Reeda was so shocked that for a moment she went perfectly still, but then Neyo flicked his tongue across her lower lip, and her body remembered how to move. She thrust him away and stood back, glaring at him. His chest rose and fell quickly, and those cold eyes blazed with a dark and covetous fire. She raised a hand to her lips and felt the slickness left by his tongue. Something snapped inside her. She took two hasty steps forward, and she was in his arms again, his hands rough and dominating on her body as they consumed each other with a kiss that teetered on the edge of violence.
Lips, tongues, teeth crashed together. He clasped her tightly against his hard, unyielding body, and unbidden, the memory of him deep inside her came flooding back. He gripped her ass and ground his rapidly stiffening cock against her. Her reaction was electric. She rolled her hips, nearly climbing him in desperation. He dropped his mouth to her neck and kissed her once, roughly, and then to her breast, yanking aside her dress as he closed his teeth on her soft skin. He picked her up by the waist and set her on the edge of the sink, dropping to his knees between her thighs, rucking up her dress around her hips, and then his mouth was on her.
He didn’t even bother removing her underwear, as though he couldn’t wait another millisecond to taste her. He licked and sucked on her through the fabric, his mouth working frantically. Her body jolted and trembled at the effort of staying upright, and then his tongue snaked past the lace and dipped into her, smooth and hot and wet. He let out a vicious growl and grabbed her hips, settling her thighs over his shoulders, and then he pulled her off the sink and thrust her against his face as his tongue speared over and over into her cunt. She yelped and scrambled to brace herself with her hands, her arms shaking with exertion.
She couldn’t come like this, but kriff, it was hot to feel Neyo throw her around with such ease, like she was his own personal toy. How many nights had she fucked herself to sleep to the memory of their first encounter? The way he’d lifted her bodily off the ground and thrust into her, supporting them both with those powerful thighs—it played on a loop in her head for months, long after the bite marks and bruises had faded.
His tongue slid out of her cunt and swirled around her clit, and her legs spasmed around his head. She couldn’t come like this. Could she? All the muscles in her body began to tense, and her pelvis began to rock rhythmically against his face. Shit, I’m going to come. No sooner had the thought formed than Neyo dropped her back onto the sink and pulled away from her.
“No!” she wailed. “You bastard, I was right there!”
He shot to his feet. “Shut. Up,” he bit out, and kissed her punishingly hard. “Do you want the whole Federal District to know what we’re doing?”
He pulled her head back to expose her throat, and he scraped his teeth across her delicate skin. She felt his other hand fumbling in between them. Within seconds, his cock was free and thrusting against the scrap of lace that still covered her. She wrapped her legs around him and pulled him against her, determined to find the stimulation that she needed to reach completion.
“Get inside me,” she hissed.
“You aren’t calling the shots any more, Admiral,” he growled. “You don’t get to give commands.”
“I hate you,” she breathed.
“And yet here you are, begging for my cock,” he said coldly.
“I do not beg,” she said. “Ever.”
He released her hair and pried her legs away from himself, then took a step back. “You get nothing until you admit that you want me. I’ve waited a long time for this. I can keep waiting.”
“What the kark is that supposed to mean?” she demanded, sliding off the sink to stand in front of him.
“It means you give me what I want, or I walk out that door right now and you can figure your own shit out.”
Was this his twisted kriffing way of asking for consent? Because she was pretty sure she’d covered that when she all but ordered him to fuck her.
“Fine,” she said in a low voice. “I…” She nearly choked on the words, and Neyo’s intent gaze pinned her in place. “I want you.”
He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and pulled her in for a bruising kiss, then spun her around and bent her over the sink. He pulled up her dress, yanked down her panties, and thrust into her. She muffled a whimper at the intrusion and squeezed her eyes shut as she adjusted to the stretch. He wrapped his hands around her hair and jerked her head up.
“Open your eyes. I want you to watch,” he ordered.
She complied, shocked when she saw her own ravaged face in the mirror as Neyo pounded into her from behind. Her makeup was smeared, her hair was a wreck, her eyes were dilated with lust, and a sheen of sweat glistened across her skin. She flicked her gaze to stare at Neyo. His face was twisted into a scowl, and if she had any sense at all, she would have been frightened, but she was in too deep to care. His hard eyes met hers in the mirror, and his jaw tightened.
He released her hair and slid his arm around her body, between her breasts, to wrap around her throat, and he lifted her upright so he could whisper in her ear.
“Do you know what you did to me?” His voice was hoarse and anguished. “Every time I kissed someone, all I could taste was you. Every time I hooked up, all I could remember was this perfect fucking pussy.”
He pounded into her with bruising intensity, furiously working her clit with his free hand. Her head began to throb. This was so wrong. He couldn’t be saying what she thought she was hearing. She was confused from the lack of blood flowing to her brain.
“I got matched twelve different times, and not one of them was right, because not one of them was you,” he snarled. “You cursed me. You haunt me.”
The world began to darken around the edges as her eyes drifted closed, and he released her throat and forced her head to the side so she faced him.
“Look at me when you fucking come,” he ordered.
She gasped, and he clamped his hand down over her mouth to muffle her scream as he wrenched an orgasm from her body. He didn’t let up, chasing after her at a frenzied pace that rocked her entire body as she sobbed into his hand.
“Inside?” he asked roughly.
She nodded and whimpered as tears blurred her vision and spilled down her cheeks. He came with two brutal thrusts, and she felt the hot rush of his release deep inside. He shuddered against her hair as his cock softened and slipped out of her. At last, he loosened his grip and turned her to face him as he leaned against the wall for support. He wrapped her in his arms and stroked her hair as she rested her head against him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” she sighed as she licked his neck, unable to resist the temptation of tasting his skin.
“I’m sure there’s an official list in my GAR file,” he said, pressing a soft kiss to her temple.
Reeda cleaned up quickly while Neyo went back to their table so they wouldn’t be spotted leaving the refresher together. Her hairstyle was destroyed, so she hastily repinned it as well as she could, and then wiped off the mascara that smudged heavily beneath her eyes. A quick reapplication of lipstick, and she almost looked presentable—with the minor exception of her missing panties, which Neyo had silently retrieved from the refresher floor and tucked into his pocket while maintaining strong eye contact.
When she returned to the dining room, Neyo waylaid her with a ferocious expression. Force, what is he scugged about now?
“We’re leaving,” he said, taking her by the wrist and pulling her toward the exit. A few quiet murmurs whispered around the room as he dragged her behind him.
“What?” she asked, tugging her wrist to no avail. “Why?”
“The karking droid gave away our table,” he said.
“My deepest apologies, Admiral,” the droid said. “We can locate another table if you would care to wait.”
Reeda assessed the room quickly. Every table was occupied, and none of the diners were anywhere close to being ready to leave. Moreover, at least half of the customers were eyeing her and Neyo with expressions ranging from amusement to overt curiosity.
“No,” she said. “Have the food delivered to my flat.”
“Right away, sir,” the droid replied, waddling off to relay the order to the kitchen.
Neyo looked at her inquisitively. “Your flat?”
“I live in this building,” she said. “Come with me.”
She was keenly aware of the many sets of eyes that tracked their hasty exit, but before long, she led Neyo into the private, secure lift that opened directly into her penthouse. He stood silently next to her on the trip up, watching her with an inscrutable gaze. She tried not to give herself an opportunity to second-guess her decision to let him into her home. Strange, she thought, how this seemed more intimate than allowing him inside her body. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d allowed another person into her home.
The lift doors opened, and he followed her into the flat, pausing long enough to remove their shoes, then looking around curiously.
“Lived here long?”
“A few months,” she said. “I bought it when I found out I’d be stationed on Coruscant long-term.”
“It’s nice,” he said. “Very… clean.”
She laughed. “You mean sterile. I haven’t had time to do much decorating. I’m hardly here except to sleep, anyway.”
He nodded. “I thought I’d have more time for hobbies after the war ended, but now it’s just nonstop—”
“Red tape and committees,” she finished with a sympathetic grimace. He shot her a wry grin. She didn’t think she’d ever seen him smile before, and it did uncomfortable things to her brain. She tried not to think about it, instead asking, “What kind of hobbies? Aside from plotting my slow death, obviously.”
“Oh, you know,” he said vaguely. “Torturing small, adorable creatures; sharpening my vibroblade collection; collecting stamps; that sort of thing.”
She blinked. “I can’t tell if you’re joking.”
He regarded her steadily for a moment, eyes unreadable as ever. “You really think the worst of me, don’t you?”
She was taken aback. “I—”
Her reply was cut off by the chime of the door. The food had arrived, thank the Force, which gave her a moment to stop herself from blurting out her immediate thought: You’ve never given me any reason to think anything else.
Neyo was a competent soldier—brilliant, in fact. There was no question that he had one of the finest tactical and strategic minds in the GAR. But as a person? From the moment they’d met, he’d been antagonistic, sardonic, cold. He’d challenged her authority and provoked her in meetings. He’d only treated her with the barest semblance of civility in public, and in private—Well. They both knew how things went when they were alone.
The service droid rolled a cart into the dining room and began setting up the meal.
“Can I get you a drink?” she offered Neyo. “I don’t have any Alderaanian red, but I do have Cheedoan whiskey.”
“The good stuff,” he replied. “I’ll have a glass. Thanks.”
The droid finished setting up and shuffled out the front door as Reeda poured two generous glasses of whiskey at the wet bar.
“Ice?” she asked.
He didn’t answer, and when she turned around, she nearly dropped the glasses in surprise to find him standing close behind her. He locked his eyes on hers and never looked away as he took one of the glasses and drained it in a single swallow, then set it down with a decisive click on the counter. Her heart began to pound as he loomed over her. He traced his fingers from her elbow up to her wrist, and then he wrapped his hand around hers and raised her glass to her lips.
The whiskey burned a fiery path across her tongue and down her throat. A few droplets escaped and splashed coldly on her chest. Neyo didn’t let up until she emptied the glass, and when she was done, he leaned down and sucked the liquor off her skin. His hands dropped to her hips and slid up her back as he located the zipper of her dress and dragged it down excruciatingly slowly, and all the while, his mouth moved across her skin. He slipped the straps down over her shoulders and let the dress fall to the floor, and then he kissed a path along the lacy edge of her bra.
“Thanks for the matched set,” he said, unhooking it and pulling it off.
“Those were expensive, asshole,” she said unsteadily.
He didn’t reply, but she knew she was never going to see that bra again. He kissed his way down her breast and captured her nipple in his mouth, abrading it lightly with his teeth. She jolted, and the empty glass slipped from her hand and smashed against the hard tiles of the floor.
Neyo barely responded to the sound of shattering crystal. Reeda froze, keenly aware that the smallest movement could result in a bloody footful of glass. She stood utterly, helplessly still as he continued to explore her body with his teeth and lips and hands and tongue. He was thorough in his attentions, and something about being entirely at his mercy was wildly arousing. Her head spun as the whiskey began to work its insidious way through her bloodstream.
“I missed this perfume. What is it?” he murmured against the soft skin of her abdomen.
“I don’t wear any,” she said.
He nuzzled against her as though he could transfer her scent to his own skin. Without warning, he scooped her up and carried her out of the room, completely disregarding the risk to himself. But instead of dropping her as soon as they were clear of the broken glass as she expected, he asked, “Bedroom?”
“Left,” she said, and he strode across the flat and kicked open the door, to her intense irritation. “You gonna pay for the broken doorknob?”
He didn’t reply, just tossed her onto the bed and pounced on her as soon as she landed. He slid in between her thighs and gripped her hard as his mouth descended on hers, kissing her as though he were trying to devour her soul. He was still fully clothed, and she scrambled to pull off his shirt. He was completely unhelpful, too engrossed in her taste. She raked her nails across his skin as she yanked his shirt over his head, and he seized her lip in his teeth in revenge.
At last, the barrier of his shirt was gone, and she writhed against him, desperate to feel as much of his warm, smooth skin against her as possible. They clashed together, sinking nails and teeth into each other. At some point, Neyo got his trousers down enough to free his cock, and he shoved into her. His belt chafed harshly on her delicate skin as she wrapped her legs around him, urging him to go deeper, harder, faster. The sounds they made were unholy, primal: growls and grunts and screams of pain and ecstasy as they tore into each other with all the aggression that they had built over the years.
She pulled his hair; he clawed her back. She slapped his face; he bit her shoulder. She snarled that she loathed him; he interlaced his fingers with hers and whispered how beautiful she was when she came apart beneath him. She thrust him away and kicked him across the bed; he pinned her down and fucked her until she sobbed and begged for more. At some point, she tasted blood, and she didn’t know or care whose it was. And when at last she lost count of how many times he’d brought her to orgasm, he curled his body around hers and traced his thumb softly over her features as she drifted to sleep.
“If I die while I’m inside you, it’s the closest I’ll ever get to heaven,” he whispered.
“Force, you say some kriffed up shit,” she grumbled.
Reeda awakened slowly, aware of something blissfully warm and soothing moving across her skin. She cracked her eyes open. Neyo was lying on top of her, dragging his tongue lazily over her body. He roamed along her curves, and it wasn’t until he paused at her bruised wrist that she realized what he was doing.
“Are you licking my wounds?” she breathed.
He didn’t answer, but his eyes met hers with an intensity that bordered on madness. Gods, everything about this was so fucked up, and she didn’t dare examine too closely why she found it so incredibly arousing. He moved slowly, meticulously, his tongue gliding softly over every centimeter of her body, until she felt like a bomb, ready to detonate at the slightest spark. She came before he ever reached her cunt, and again as he rocked gently inside her, his lips soft against her mouth, silent tears spilling from the corners of her eyes to course down her temples.
After, he guided her into the shower, and when her legs gave out, he held her upright as the hot water washed over them. Once he’d massaged her entire body with his strong, soapy hands, he dried her off and laid her back on the bed while he spread bacta across the damage he’d inflicted. It was disorienting to be cared for so thoroughly by the man who’d spent the better part of four years making her life hell. He didn’t speak, and she didn’t know what to say, so in the end, she simply watched him in silence.
When he finished with the bacta, he retrieved their dinner from the dining room. The food had long since gone cold, but after hours of intense physical activity, they were famished, and they ate it anyway, sharing bites and sipping whiskey straight from the decanter. Neyo sat with his back against the headboard, his long, strong legs bracketing Reeda as she leaned back against his broad chest.
“How did you know porg was my favorite?” she asked.
He shrugged. “They’re tiny, cute, and innocent. I just assumed you would enjoy extinguishing the life from them and consuming their remains.”
She laughed and snuggled closer to him. “Is that why you order your meat rare? Because it’s the next best thing to drinking straight from the source?”
“Finally, someone who understands,” he smirked. “Truthfully, I overheard you tell Admiral Coburn that porg was your favorite during a banquet at the strategy conference at Valor.”
She turned to stare up at him. “Neyo, that was two years ago. That was before we ever…”
“I know,” he said, burying his face in her hair and breathing deeply.
“Stalker,” she murmured.
He dropped his mouth to her neck, and she tilted her head back against his shoulder as his lips glided across her skin.
“What does it say about you that you like it?” he whispered when he reached her ear.
He pulled her close, positioning himself between her and the bedroom door. From the proprietary way he held her, she knew it was a deliberate choice; any threat that came through that door would have to go through him before it got to her, and she had a feeling that there weren’t many beings in the galaxy that were brave or foolish enough to try.
Reeda jerked awake to a furious pounding at the front door. Neyo was already halfway out of the bedroom, stark naked and armed with a steak knife from their midnight dinner.
“Wait here,” he ordered, his voice hard and flat.
She rolled her eyes as she pulled on a bathrobe and grabbed a blaster from her nightstand. Neyo glared at her when she joined him, but didn’t bother yelling at her.
“Coruscant guard! Open up,” a modulated voice shouted harshly from outside the door.
Neyo glanced questioningly at her, and she shrugged, hiding the blaster behind her robe. He stepped out of view of the door, and she opened it to find none other than Marshal Commander Fox, flanked by two Corrie ARC troopers.
“Commander,” she greeted him, not bothering to conceal the surprise in her voice.
“Good to see you’re in one piece, Admiral,” he said. “Are you all right?”
“I beg your pardon?” she asked, baffled.
“We received multiple calls about a disturbance at your address. Are you alone?”
Reeda felt a hot rush of blood wash over her face and neck. “I fail to see how that is any business of yours, Commander.”
“Sorry, sir, but it’s my duty to—” He stopped abruptly, and his visor shifted to a point behind her.
“Isn’t this a little below your pay grade, Fox?” Neyo drawled close behind Reeda.
Fox’s visor turned back to Reeda, then to Neyo, and then back to Reeda again. The two ARC troopers appeared to be fascinated by the walls on either side of the front door.
At last, Fox spoke. “I don’t send shinies to wake up admirals.”
Neyo’s hand slid possessively around the front of Reeda’s abdomen, and he pulled her against his nude body. Something large and solid prodded against her backside. Dank farrik, is he turned on right now? Sick bastard.
“Thank you for your concern,” she told Fox, “but everything is under control.”
“So I see,” Fox replied. “Still, you’ll need to keep the noise level down, or I’ll have no choice but to arrest you for disturbing the peace.”
Neyo reached forward silently and shut the door in Fox’s face, then he spun Reeda around, picked her up over his shoulder, and carried her back to the bedroom. The last thing Fox heard was the unmistakable sound of Neyo’s hand slapping her ass as Reeda shrieked with indignant laughter.
Republic Military HQ buzzed quietly with speculation the next morning when not one, but two of the most senior command staff called in sick for the first time in either of their careers. Rumors swirled: some were convinced a secret bioweapon had been released by Separatist holdouts; others maintained that the stress of dealing with politicians was beginning to take a toll; still others claimed that it was a coverup and that the marshal commander and the admiral had been taken hostage by pirates. It was whispered that Commander Fox had a particularly haunted expression that morning, and two of the Coruscant Guard ARC Troopers had contacted the legal department to update their wills. In the midst of all this, the beleaguered Lissi received a brusque order to inform RTL Matchmaking that the admiral no longer required their services.
Daria drained her third iced caf of the morning as she flicked through her holomessages. Buried amidst the intake forms and meeting invitations was an abrupt-bordering-on-rude note from Marshal Commander Neyo ordering her to close his file.
“Why do you look like the tooka that got the blue milk?” her fellow matchmaker Tarsi Renda asked as she passed Daria in the corridor.
“Oh, no reason,” Daria smiled. “The galaxy is back to normal, that’s all—and my track record is once again perfect.”
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#tcw matchmaking au#clone matchmaking au#91st Mobile Reconnaissance Corps#commander neyo#neyo x the admiral#commander neyo x ofc#neyo x ofc#neyo x the bad-miral
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The Mosley Review: The Ministry of Ungentlemanly Warfare
Do you wanna know why we constantly revisit World War II in film? It isn't because it was the greatest war. It isn't because of the enginuity that came from it. Its because it features the most robust stories ever to be told or discovered whether its from the American or the European campaign. There are probably hundreds of classified documents that are still sealed to this day and it is always fascinating to see them revealed. Yes, we love the heroism in the stories about the front lines, but what's more interesting to see is the internal planning of all Allied Forces and how they're plans get executed. Whether they succeed or fail is the real drama and the stuff of legend that ends up inspiring fictional characters we all know and love. That is what this film lovingly highlights and I have to say it was a smooth and joyful ride has good suspense with great action and comedy. The tone was a bit off at times as it would struggle with wanting to be a smart espionage driven story and a adventure film with little consequence for the heroes in the story.
Henry Cavill truly charms every moment he's on screen as Gus March-Phillipps. He was a fun leader of the ragtag team of mercenaries and I liked his controlled nature. He never really seemed to have doubts, but he did have a moment or too that he felt challenged. The amount of glee and calm he has in this film was cool in the more action driven scenes. The most standout moment of the film truly comes from his introductive scene as within in five minutes, you understand the man and his motivation. Alan Ritchson was good and brutal as his fellow merc, Anders Lassen. I liked the banter he had with Gus as the film went along and how eager and efficient of a Nazi killer he was. Henry Golding was fun and smart as the explosive expert of the team, Freddy Alvarez. The banter between him and Anders was fun as they would tease each other often. Hero Fiennes Tiffin was good as Henry Hayes and even though he didn't have that much depth, he was effective and a valued navigator in the war occupied Atlantic Ocean. Alex Pettyfer was cool and collected as Gus's oldest friend, Geoffrey Appleyard. You really felt the bond and history between them in the scenes that they had together. Cary Elwes is always a joy to see on screen and as Brigadier Gubbins 'M', he was perfectly royal and commanding as the leader of the secret operation the team is recruited for. Freddie Fox was good as the iconic Ian Fleming and I loved that he was apart of the operation from beginning to end. He wasn't a forgotten character and I liked that he seemed to plotting out his soon to be famous character. Rory Kinnear was fantastic and steadfast as Winston Churchill. He had a dominating presence and sense of urgency that is needed for the legendary Prime Minister. Eiza González and Babs Olusanmokun were fantastic as Marjorie Stewart and Mr. Heron. Their chemistry together was great and I enjoyed their convert planning and business deals. Eiza charms the screen with such control in her more tense dialogue scenes and Babs was that quiet type of dangerous that you never saw coming. Til Schweiger is always intense as a hero or villain and as Heinrich Luhr, there is an amount of sinister motivation in his eyes that made him the marquee antagonist.
The score by the director's frequent collaborator, Christopher Benstead, was good, quirkie and epic toward the end of the film. I felt the tension in the finale the most thanks to his score as the action kicks off and the plan doesn't go as smooth. Like I said before, the tone was a little all over the place at times since you have so many parts moving at once. Director Guy Ritchie's flair for elaborate planning was on display, but it felt a little rusty in its execution. Its a massive cast so not everyone has a chance to have a moment to shine outside of the action. Maybe some of them didn't really have much to work with or the real people in the true story the film was based on weren't that deep. Either way, I still had fun with the film and I enjoyed the action. Is it gonna be one of the most memorable films of Guy Ritchie's filmography, no, but it'll be a fun one to view once in awhile. Let me know what you thought of the film or my review in the comments below. Thanks for reading!
#the ministry of ungentlemanly warfare#henry cavill#alan ritchson#alex pettyfer#henry golding#eiza gonzalez#babs olusanmokun#cary elwes#rory kinnear#freddie fox#til schweiger
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Voltron (two very different series with the same name set in the same universe? That's not gonna be confusing!)
[All images are owned by Toei Animation and World Events Productions. Please don’t sue me.]
As I mentioned before, my first exposure to anime (or, as I called it back then, “Japanimation”) was Star Blazers and an anthology series called Force Five (again, if anyone finds any footage of this series online, please let me know!)
However, years later I was exposed to another anime series that is likely to be more familiar to everyone.
[NOTE: As with Star Blazers, I am covering the American version of the series rather than the original Japanese, though there’s one difference between the two I’ll briefly mention when it comes up]
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(Thanks to Peacock Kids)
(Yes, the narrator is none other than Peter Cullen, who is the voice of Optimus Prime. Nice to know Voltron has the support of the Autobots!)
Voltron (AKA Voltron III, Voltron of the Far Universe,or Lion Force Voltron) tells the story of a team of five Space Explorers who travel to a planet known as Arus to assist the government against an alien invasion. The five are entrusted to reawaken the planet’s primary defense: Voltron (why didn’t they have Voltron online before the invasion?)
(Thanks to Al Kennon)
…a squadron of giant robot lions which…well, we’ll get to that in a bit.
The leader of the team (henceforth called the Voltron Force) is Kieth, who pilots the Black Lion.
Keith’s second in command is Lance, who pilots the Red Lion.
Sven pilots the Blue Lion…until he’s hospitalized by an enemy agent (here’s the one difference I'm discussing: in the Japanese version “Sven” (I’m not looking up his Japanese name) is killed in the attack (obviously we couldn’t have the kids see someone die!). However, his twin brother appears late in the series; the American version has Sven make a return after his recovery) to be replaced by…
…Princess Allura, ruler of Arus.
Pidge pilots the Green Lion
Hunk pilots the Yellow Lion.
The Voltron Force defends Arus against the forces of…
King Zarkon
Aided by the witch Haggar, who creates giant monsters (called Robeasts) to send against the Voltron Force.
Zarkon’s son Lotor commands Zarkon’s armies and has a bit of a crush on Allura, determined to take her for his bride.
The battles are pretty much the same: The Lions attack the Robreast Of The Week, but are overmatched until…
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(Thanks again to Peacock Kids)
After that, the fight’s a bit more even until Voltron finally creates its Blazing Sword weapon and slices the Robeast in half (why doesn’t it start with that?)
However, Voltron isn’t the only Defender of the Universe!
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(Thanks to T. Winters)
The Galaxy Alliance is overcrowded and it’s up to the Space Explorers of the S.S. Explorer (really original name, guys!) to find new planets to colonize. This inevitable puts them at odds with the Drule Empire (it’s never officially stated if King Zarkon is part of the empire, but Drule’s giant monsters are also called Robeasts)
Like the Lion Force Voltron, this version of Voltron (AKA Voltron I, Voltron of the Near Universe,or Vehicle Team Voltron; there was supposed to be a third Voltron series, but negotiations between Toei (the animation studio that produced the original manga) and World Events (the American company that converted the series into Voltron) fell through), the team consisted of smaller vessels that combined to form Voltron. Unlike Lion Force, the vessels were three squads of fighters that specialized in either air, land, or undersea combat.
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(Thanks to reminators)
As many of you are aware (mainly due to the fact that NO ONE remembers the Vehicle Team series), the Lion Force became the most popular of the two, and their story has been retold at least twice.
As always, if you would like to see an episode reviewed, please let me know!
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Lead Generation for Service-Based Businesses: Tailoring Strategies for Success
In the dynamic realm of service-based businesses, the art of lead generation has evolved into an indispensable cornerstone of success. Whether you helm a consultancy firm or curate a haven of beauty within the salon industry, the capability to captivate, engage, and convert potential clients has become the driving force behind growth. This comprehensive guide meticulously dissects ten meticulously crafted strategies, each an essential thread woven into the fabric of a comprehensive B2B lead generation strategy that seamlessly aligns with your industry and audience. From delving into the intricacies of your audience's unique needs to crafting resonant value propositions, from erecting a commanding online presence to harnessing the dynamic potential of content marketing, each dimension of this journey is explored in detail, leaving you armed with the knowledge and strategies needed to chart a course of sustainable growth and triumph.
DOWNLOAD THE INFOGRAPHIC HERE
Understanding Your Audience: Forging Bonds through Value-Centric Approaches The expedition towards effective lead generation commences with a profound understanding of your target audience. Immersing yourself in their pain points, aspirations, and hurdles becomes the bedrock for fostering meaningful connections. By resonating with their distinctive challenges and offering tailored solutions, you're not merely initiating transactions; you're nurturing bonds founded on trust and empathy.
Developing a Solid Online Presence: Beyond Aesthetics and Visibility In the digital epoch, your online presence stands as the gateway to your business's essence. Crafting a visually captivating website that harmoniously integrates with search engine optimization is no longer an option; it's a strategic necessity. A meticulously optimized website amplifies your online footprint, ensuring potential leads can effortlessly locate you amid the virtual cacophony.
Leveraging Content Marketing: Empowerment through Dissemination of Knowledge Content marketing has emerged as a bedrock within the realm of lead generation. It emerges in myriad forms, from insightful blog posts that dissect industry intricacies to comprehensive ebooks that serve as navigational compasses through business challenges. The creation of valuable content propels you into the role of an authoritative figure. By addressing the nuanced pain points of your audience, you're not just beckoning their attention; you're fostering trust and credibility.
Offering Free Consultations or Trials: Inviting Experiences of Excellence The influence of experiential engagement in lead conversion is profound. Extending the gesture of free consultations or trials offers potential clients the opportunity to immerse themselves in your services without obligation. This tangible involvement diminishes barriers to entry and showcases the tangible value they stand to gain, nurturing trust and accelerating conversion.
Utilizing Social Media Platforms: Strategic Engagement Unveiled The tapestry of social media is diverse, with platforms catering to distinct demographics and preferences. Pinpointing the platforms your target audience gravitates toward is a strategic art. Engaging them through informative content, industry insights, and behind-the-scenes peeks cultivates genuine interactions, seamlessly guiding them toward your lead generation funnel.
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Running Targeted Email Marketing Campaigns: Precision in Direct Communication Amidst the myriad communication channels, email marketing remains an enduring asset. Tailored email campaigns curate a nurturing environment for leads through personalized content and pertinent information. Designing emails that fluidly adapt to mobile devices guarantees your messages resonate, fostering interaction and ultimately conversion.
Encouraging Customer Reviews and Testimonials: The Sway of Social Proof In an era where trust shapes decisions, customer reviews and testimonials wield substantial influence. Positive reviews act as tangible social proof, validating the caliber and authenticity of your services. These testimonials resonate with potential clients, offering a glimpse into the experiences of their peers and significantly influencing their decision-making journey.
Implementing a Referral Program: Harnessing Organic Advocacy Tapping into the organic power of word-of-mouth advocacy via a meticulously designed referral program is transformative. Encouraging satisfied clients to advocate for your services within their network, incentivizing their efforts with discounts or exclusive perks, ushers in an era of amplified reach and engenders loyalty-driven organic growth.
Collaborating with Complementary Businesses: Synergy in Collective Growth Collaborations with businesses offering complementary services herald fresh avenues for lead generation. These symbiotic partnerships introduce your brand to a wider audience segment that may be in need of your services. The symphony of collaboration nurtures both entities, augmenting exposure and fostering a sense of shared vision.
Optimizing Your CRM Integration: Streamlined Lead Management Integrating your lead generation endeavors with a robust Customer Relationship Management (CRM) system refines lead management dynamics. This integration enhances follow-up efficiency, meticulously maintains comprehensive interaction records, and elevates conversion rates. With a seamlessly optimized CRM integration, your team is empowered to meticulously nurture leads and navigate them through a smooth conversion journey.
Embarking upon the lead generation odyssey for service-based businesses mandates strategic insight, adaptability, and innovation. By seamlessly weaving these meticulously tailored strategies into your approach, you're not merely generating leads; you're nurturing relationships, delivering value, and architecting a narrative of excellence. Remember, this is a perpetual voyage of
growth, an ongoing process of evolution and refinement. By infusing these insights into your lead generation efforts, you're not simply propelling sales; you're molding the trajectory of your business toward sustained success.
#AccountSend#B2BLeadGeneration#B2B#LeadGeneration#B2BSales#SalesLeads#B2BDatabases#BusinessDevelopment#SalesFunnel#SalesProspecting#BusinessOwner#Youtube
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Azalin Reviews: Elena Faith-Hold
Darklord: Elena Faith-Hold Domain: Nidala Domain Formation: 615 BC Power Level:💀 💀 💀 ⚫⚫ (3/5 Skulls) Sources: Islands of Terror (2e), Ravenloft (3e), Ravenloft Player’s Handbook (3e), Ravenloft Dungeon Master's Guide (3e), Van Richten's Guide to Ravenloft (5e)CW: Religious zealots, Genocide Twitter Thread Elena Faith-hold, who’s name clearly gives away her religious zealot ways, is the Darklord of Nidala. Nidala is a forested mountainous region that appears as a pure and noble land at its surface, but the further you delve into her realm, the more sinister it becomes. Just like Elena, who would love for all to believe she is a humble paladin and the chosen of Belenu. When she is, in fact, an utter fool.
Nidala is one of the Domains in the Shadowlands, which hold the Demiplanes of Nidala, the Shadowborn Manor, and Avonleigh. If you take pleasure in tales of corrupted holy knights, then you’ll love the Shadowlands as it ventures into all of those classic troupes. The whole power leads to corruption and all such nonsense is explored in the Shadowlands. I will note that 5e does mention Elena by name under the description of the Shadowlands Domain, but only by name. In this guide, van Richten deemed her less important than an evil sword and they’re not wrong.
Elena was a Knight of the Circle and trusted friend of Kateri Shadowborn (the holier than thou paladin who continually fights against the Darklord Ebonbane in Shadowborn Manor whom I reviewed previously). A paladin devoted to the sun God, Belenu, Elena rode forth on her unicorn mount to battle against evil. Her campaigns were successful and the people worshiped her with adoration. She bathed in the attention and many converted to Elena’s faith to further prove their devotion to her.
Eventually her campaigns against the evil forces of the land were so successful that all that remained were scattered, unorganized and weak. Elena was seen as a hero to her people and basked in her own glory. Of course, as many war heroes find, when there are no more wars to be fought, they become restless. Just look at the entirety of the Domains of Dread, they all started because a former Commander was bored and decided he wanted his brother’s fiancé instead of focusing on ruling a realm. Elena, took another route and focused her attention on converting the masses to her religion and condemning those that would not.
Being a paladin, this predictably led Elena to start a crusade against any that would not follow the “one true religion”. This hypocrisy is one of the many reasons I have never counted myself amongst the devout. They are nothing more than bleating sheep bowing before an unknown, unseen thing that calls itself a god.
Quite predictably, Belenu withdrew his favors to Elena, stripping her of her abilities to heal and smite evil and her unicorn mount abandoned her. Since these paladin types are always looking for a sign from their god, you would think that Elena would gather that Belenu was not at all pleased with her crusades. Having a brain as thick as her muscles, Elena believed Belenu’s withdrawal from her was a test and she continued on. Eventually, those she deemed “heathens” weren’t enough and she took up arms against any non-human.
In time something must have gotten through that thick, full plated head of hers and with none of her abilities returning to her, she prayed to Belenu for guidance. Belenu gave no response. Another force, a sinister force that locks us all away into our own personal eternal torments answered instead. The Dark Powers transported her into the lands of the Mists. This resulted in her roaming the realms of Ravenloft and finding corruption and evil in every town she visited, then she would proceed to slaughter everyone within to “cleanse” the evil. After slaughtering 10 such villages, the Dark Powers finally decided she was corrupt enough to imprison her within her own Domain.
The Dark Powers gifted her with “Faith Hold” Castle that looms over the walled capital city of Touraine and a dark unicorn mount that is essentially a hybrid nightmare/unicorn. As a Darklord, Elena is a true micromanager. She rides forth every week to personally inspect all of the villages within her Domain, searching for corruption and evil. She also makes weekly decrees of faith and those that do not follow these decrees are arrested and, more often than not, tortured or executed.
When she is not within ear-shot, her people call her “Elena Stranglehold”, which is quite accurate. She forbids any form of “merry-making” in her realm. Bards are not likely to find any work there. Elena retained some of her paladin abilities, but no longer can heal, only inflict wounds. She can detect life around her, but can no longer turn undead.
She believes she can detect “evil”, but in fact is only detecting strong emotions directed at her. This ability does not differ between positive and negative emotions. Those who love and adore her and those that hate her are both detected by this ability of hers, resulting in her executing both her greatest enemies and allies without realizing it. In combat, she is a warrior, wielding a bastard sword, and using her “see the light” ability, which acts similar to a charm spell, to attempt to convert her enemies to her cause.
In summary, Elena is yet another religious zealot too blind to see that her god left her long ago. Her rule is as oppressive and unoriginal as she is. I’ll reluctantly give her 3 skulls, but that’s mostly for her unique nightmare/unicorn mount than anything else.
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A Whovian Watches Star Trek for the First Time: Part 054 - Cavemen Planet
Star Trek: Enterprise - Season 3 Episode 3 - Extinction
This episode with a conversation between T'Pol and Trip, and they've gone a bit beyond just the Vulcan Neuropressure to help Trip sleep. Trip's now bringing T'Pol Gifts, it's kinda cute. Unfortunately for trip, the duo are interrupted by Archer, who has been looking through the Xindi database and has pieced together the flight history of the Xindi ship it was taken from.
The crew land on the last planet that Xindi ship visited and immediately start suffering from weird mutations. It's a mystery as to what's causing it. They haven't been bitten by anything or been exposed to any strange plants, and it more or less happens instantly, at least for the humans. T'Pol seems more resistant to it.
Phlox Theorises that the transformations are a result of the Expanse's weirdness, and that the Laws of Biochemistry my be just as non-existent as the laws of physics are. This is definitely the creative kind of use of the Expanse's nature that I was looking forward to!
As Trip manages to get Malcolm back up to Enterprise, allowing Phlox to study what's happening. Then, some unknown ships show up, and place Enterprise under quarantine. Archer's performance, especially when he find out the city was destroyed, was really well done, and the brief action scene where the infected Archer and Hoshi fight off the aliens coming to kill them was also great.
I really like the conflict of this episode, of curing the virus vs containing it. The stuff happening on the planets surface with the infected wasn't so interesting. The episode was okay, and it had a creative premise, I just don't have much to say about it. At the end though, Archer specifically requests that a sample of the Virus is put in Stasis, which makes me wonder of we're quite finished with this plotline yet.
Comparing my Enjoyment of this Episode with a Doctor Who Universe Story of the Same Title
Big Finish's Cyberman - Season 2 Part 4 - Extinction
Concisly reviewing the finale of an Eight Part Mini-series of which I haven't covered the first 7 parts... Easy job right?
Cyberman was a audio mini-series about the Cybermen, specifically their resurfacing in the 26th Century, against a backdrop of a three way cold war between Humans, Android Separatists and of course the Cybermen. Overshadowed by the absolutely phenomenal Dalek Empire series, which was released alongside it, Cyberman was always a hidden gem in Big Finish's large back catalogue, and Extinction was it's finale. I really do recommend listening to the whole series, you don't even need to know much about Doctor Who to Enjoy it.
Earth has fallen, not to invasion, but to subversion. The planet is currently under the leadership of Paul Hunt, a partially converted Puppet of the Cybermen. Liam Barnaby, former Commander in Chief of the Earth Empire and Main Character of the Cyberman Series has been sentenced to death, under accusations of being a collaborator to the Orion Androids.
The scenes between Hazel and Samantha, two characters who fall on the separate ends of the Human Android cold war, and their coming together to fight the Cybermen were great, and Liam's monologue about Death was brilliant, and so was his conversation with Paul about his ongoing Cyber-Conversion.
As for how my enjoyment compares with Enterprise's extinction, it's not really a contest. The Enterprise episode was okay, but Cyberman's Extinction is a fantastic display of my absolute favourite Doctor Who villains, and ties together the themes of the Cyberman mini-series beautifully.
#whovian watching star trek#star trek#star trek enterprise#star trek ent#star trek: enterprise#enterprise#ent
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AI ASSIST Review - 16X more powerful than ChatGPT & Google Bard
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AI Creative Suite Review: Transforming Content Creation in the Modern World.
Introduction
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AIBuilder Review
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Led by Glory Guard, the Lions of Justice, the highest ranking ENU-sanctioned superhero team on Earth. The Lions are Earth's last line of defense against the most powerful of supervillains and Great Beasts.
Euryale is second-in-command, and considered one of the smartest women on Earth. Her Astral Drift is "Crux Gorgon". It allows growth and manipulation of her hair, enhancing them on the molecular level to be able to camouflage in her surroundings, block gunfire and pierce through steel. The individual hair follicles are toxic, and when used to pierce human flesh can release a paralyzing agent into the body. Euryale is in her element as a stealth operative, using subterfuge to confound enemies and complete mission objectives.
Psynopsis is, in terms of firepower, the weakest on the team. Nevertheless she is crucial to the effectiveness of the team and singlehandedly responsible for many of their past victories. Psynopsis' Astral Drift is "Review Absolute". With enough time, Psynopsis can analyze a target and gain a general understanding for a wide variety of attributes about them. Their past, what they may be hiding, even their Astral Drift and possible weaknesses eventually become known to Psynopsis after enough analysis. As supervillains will do what they can to keep their Astral Drift's weaknesses and properties secret, and Great Beasts are certainly not going to explain their reasons for rampage, Psynopsis' analysis on the field becomes the lynchpin of nearly all successful missions. With unknown machinery and equipment, with enough analyzation Psynopsis can get a general idea on how to operate them (or whether doing so could lead to a trap). An advanced HUD added to her mask lets her pick up even more beyond her regular sight, augmenting her Astral Drift further. Combining her healing talents with Review Absolute's ability to analyze injuries, poisons, etc. also makes her the team's go-to medic.
Magi Rosa is the newest member of the Lions of Justice. As arguably the team's flashiest member, ranks as most popular tied with Glory Guard. Her Astral Drift is "Element Rose". Just as the name implies, Magi Rosa can conjure roses and thorny vines of either fire, water (or ice), or electricity. Their sizes and properties between these three states can vary as she deems, so a fire rose can simply be a torch or instead be a bomb as she wills it. Magi Rosa can also command and convert these elements on the field into new roses for her to command, making attacks of fire, water, ice or electricity null against the team. With her mastery over the three elements, Magi Rosa both a swiss army knife of combat capabilities and a massive boon during natural disaster missions. Fires, floods, live wires, all become fuel for elemental roses, eliminating hazards that can harm civilians.
Beedrive is the team's fastest member. His Astral Drift is "Hymenoptera Rex". Beedrive is able to command members of the Hymenoptera family, including wasps, bees and sawflies. Beedrive can command clouds that can cover buildings, and see through their eyes. The insects' scouting and infiltration potential are obvious as is their ability to overwhelm many villains, but on top of this, Beedrive is able to imbue the cloud with his Astra, fortifying the insects' bodies and granting them his speed. Practically, this allows the cloud to keep up with Beedrive as well as make beeline tackles that hit like bullets, giving Beedrive effective long range firepower against many supervillains. Beedrive's scouting synergizes with Psynopsis' Astral Drift, while his superspeed makes for effective defensive support (able to move teammates out of the way of attacks swiftly and safely) and distraction tactics against stronger opponents. Against Great Beasts, however, his options are limited, and he generally focuses on search and rescue in such situations.
Thundercrash is the second strongest member on the team. His Astral Application has fortified his defenses to be nearly as durable and strong as Glory Guard. Thundercrash's Astral Drift is "Rude Vibrations". Thundercrash can vibrate his own molecules to either allow himself to phase through solid objects or generate powerful sonic turbulence, strong enough to create sonic booms with a thought. With this much power in his hands he is frequently out in the front lines with Glory Guard against Great Beasts and the toughest supervillains. These frequencies do not have to be purely explosive, however; Thundercrash can adjust the frequencies of sound coming off his vibrations at such fine degrees that he can make them imperceptible to his opponents, yet still cause them vertigo as their inner ears are attacked and their equilibrium rocked. Thanks to his Astral Drift combined with his fortified body and enhanced strength, Thundercrash has received the nickname "Earth's Greatest Duelist" able to defeat most opponents in a one-on-one fight through the combination of his debilitating sonic frequencies and super strength. Were it not for his lack of flight, he might have been the number one ranked hero instead of Glory Guard.
#lions of justice#superheroes#comics#astral drift#original characters#character art#ocs#psynopsis#beedrive#magi rosa#thundercrash#euryale
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Oh look, more new pokemon opinions. 44-53
Frigibax
The Ice Fin Pokemon, a dragon/ice dual-type which is nice to see, I just have no idea what it’s supposed to be. At first look it looks like somebody tried to cross a frog and a koala. Fingers crossed the pokedex will be informative there. Until then, it has the new ability Thermal Exchange that makes it immune to burn and raises it’s attack when hit with a fire move. Apparently they live in forests and craggy areas, absorbing heat and then converting that heat into cold that it uses to chill it’s nest.
4/10, I have no idea what this it besides an air conditioner
Arctibax
Okay, at least this fucker looks like something. I sailfin dinosaur I guess? Or maybe one of those fuckers from before the dinosaurs, I know the name but damned it I can remember it off the top of my head. Don’t care, bitches look like something now. They freeze the air around them into an ice mask for their face and to turn their back fin into an ice blade, which they attack with by doing a front flip.
5/10, I have an idea what it is now, still not impressed
Baxcalibur
The Ice Dragon Pokemon that wants to be Godzilla. Seriously, it looks like a knock-off ice Godzilla pared way the fuck down. Again, maybe the 3d model is better, but this isn’t doing it for me. It launches itself into battle by flipping upside down and blasting freezing air at the enemy. Finishes them off with it’s dorsal blade, probably with another flip.
4/10, I know what it is now and it’s lost points for it
~
Tatsugiri
The Mimicry Pokemon, water/dragon dual type (never gonna complain about more of them). It looks like something you’d see in Putt-Putt, and I mean that in the most loving way. Comes in three color variations as well. New ability- Commander: goes into Dondozo’s mouth, can no longer take dmamage, Dondozo can no longer switch out, Dondozo’s stats go up two stages. Well that’s not too fucking broken. Apparently the forms change depending on where they were caught and are as follows- Curly Form: described by the pokedex as living inside Dondozo’s mouth to protect itself, also extremely cunning, it feigns weakness to lure in prey. Droopy Form: pokedex explains that the different forms are to better attract different prey, also that it plays dead to attract prey and uses it’s intelligence to survive despite being small and weak. Stretchy Form: Tatsugiri is, according to this one’s dex entries, one of the smartest dragon pokemon, this one hunts bird pokemon with it’s Dondozo partner and inflates it’s throat sac to lure then in.
8/10, not the best dragon ever, but certainly delightful in its own way
~
Cyclizar
Everyone knows this one by now. It’s a dragon, it’s a motorcycle, it’s a friend. Precious thing and the best dragon of this gen so far in these reviews. They’re depicted in 10k year old murals letting people ride them, can reach 70 mph, and enjoy the warmth human riders give off. It’s a mutual relationship.
9/10, good lizard
~
Pawmi
“Achi! Look! An electric type!” To which I can only say... eh? Not really impressed. I mean, look at the competition! Bellibolt exists! And Pawmi... tries, bless it’s little heart. It’s an electric type and so I give it more benefit that I would otherwise, but it’s not doing it for me. The sacs on it’s cheeks are underdeveloped and it needs to rub them to get them to generate power, the pads of it’s paws, meanwhile, can also generate power but to use it they have to stand up on their hind legs and they’re not good at it.
6/10, a serviceable electric type
Pawmo
Electric/fighting now, nice combo, it’s gotten lighter and can stand on it’s hind legs now. They defend their groups with attacks that combine hand strikes with zaps of electricity... Okay, they learn Thunder Punch, I’d have had to kill somebody.
6/10, still serviceable
Pawmot
The Hands-On Pokemon. Once a Pawmo walks 100 steps in the overworld they evolve, get darker, and get scruffy looking. Or maybe just fluffy looking. It’s fur can store as much power as an electric car, and while they’re slow to reach they’re lightning fast.
7/10, a bit better
~
Wattrel
We have a flying type, this is not a drill! And it’s an electric type too! The Storm Petrel Pokemon, with the new ability Wind Power- getting hit with a wind move boosts the power of it’s next electric attack. It looks, like a bird, bit of blue-grey, bit of black, bit of yellow. Makes me think a little of batteries and a lot of seagulls for something that’s not a seagull. These pokemon’s bones generate electricity while they coast along on the wind, then they use it to stun their prey while they dive into the water for them. Their nests are built on cliffs, have a crackly texture, and are- you guessed it- fucking eaten. This region, man.
6.5/10, it’s a good bird
Kilowattrel
Oh, this fucker looks cool. Darker colors, a more defined shape, the Frigatebird Pokemon is definitely an upgrade. A poor swimmer, it stores the electricity it’s wings generate in it’s throat sac. It can cover over 430 miles in a day.
8/10, better bird
~~~
Can’t have too many electric types, you really can’t
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A.I Funnels Review – AI Driven Funnel Builder & Free Traffic
Welcome to my A.I Funnels Review. For everyone working in the field of online marketing, automation tools are indispensable to keep up with the competition in the fast pace world. And one of these tools that quite a lot of people have been paying attention to is A.I Funnels, an innovative platform that enables the creation of sales funnels, all with a single click.
With this tool, users can generate up to $583.41 per day in revenue, in less than a minute, using AI driven funnels. Does A.I. Funnels actually live up to the hype? This is a comprehensive review, so we will take you down the alley of its features, benefits, pros and cons, and its comparison with other funnel building tools out there.
What Is A.I Funnels?
A.I Funnels is a highly advanced funnel building software that uses artificial intelligence to enable users to build, customize and launch sales funnels with virtually no effort (and no coding required). Unlike some other funnel builders, A.I Funnels is voice activated, so users can control and create funnels using nothing but a voice command. By using this hands-free approach, coupled with A.I’s strengths, users can generate quality funnels fast.
And the unique selling point of the tool is that it promises to offer you the possibility to clone a high converting funnel, change it for your needs and launch it in just a minute. Its creators claim that this tool has enabled them to make up to $583.12 a day to which anyone can achieve, even without any technical experience.
A.I Funnels Review: Overview
Product Creator: Billy Darr
Product Name: A.I Funnels
Launch Date: 2024-Nov-10
Launch Time: 11:00 EST
Front-End Price: $17 (One-time payment)
Official Website: Click Here To Visit Official Salespage
Product Type: Tools and Software
Support: Effective Response
Discount: Get The Best Discount Right Here!
Recommended: Highly Recommended
Bonuses: YES, Huge Bonuses
Skill Level Required: All Levels
Discount Coupon: Use Code “AIFUNNELS3” To Get $3 OFF!
Refund: YES, 365 Days Money-Back Guarantee
A.I Funnels Review: About Authors
Billy Darr, Dipanjan Goswami, and Justin Opay lead the software development and internet marketing team that created the A.I Funnels. This business has a solid reputation for producing creative digital affiliate marketing solutions. They have developed multiple successful products and established a loyal customer base of over 20,000 people who regularly use their desktop and online apps.
He has Some lots of launches, including, including A.I Podcastr, Topaz, Atlas, Helix, Ignis, Aero, Halo, Gizmo, Opus, Valor, Apollo, Comet, Gamma, Lynxx, NEBULA, JETT,Opal, ZEUS, Falcon, Sapphire, VEGA, Genesis, Luna,and many others, This seller has a lot of knowledge and has always offered high-quality products at low prices.
A.I Funnels Review: Key Features of A.I Funnels
A.I Funnels in 60 Seconds
Built-In A.I Powered Course Creator
100+ Funnel Templates to Choose From
Intuitive Drag-and-Drop Interface
Works With Voice Prompts or Keywords
Hundreds of Stock Assets Included For Free
Newbie Friendly Interface
App Works On All Popular Devices
All Major 3rd Party Integrations Supported
Automatic Funnel Creation
Create Landing Pages
Create Upsell Pages
Create Websites
Create Blogs
Send Unlimited Emails
OpenAI & ChatGPT4 Integration
A/B Split Tester
Lighting Fast Page Speed
No Monthly Fees
FREE Hosting Included
AutoDrive FREE Traffic from 100+ Sources
Send Unlimited SMS Too
Biz-In-A-Box Commercial Licence Included
Automated AiTraffic Feature Built-In
A.I Funnels Review: How Does It Work?
You’re Just 3-Steps Away – That Even an 11-Year-Old Could Do! (Or Heck Even A 70-Year-Old)
Step #1: Purchase
Grab A Copy of A.I Funnels, Before The Price Increases.
Step #2: Select
Simply Say a Voice Command or Click to Select from One of Our Proven Fully Customize able A.I Powered Funnels.
Step #3: Profit
We Click Go & A.I Funnels Promoters Our Aifunnel Resulting In Free Traffic, Leads & Sales for Us in 60 Seconds or Less.
A.I Funnels Review: Benefits of A.I Funnels
A.I Funnels App: Ai-Powered App that will do all the work on your behalf.
A.I Funnels DFY: Includes our $583.41 a day funnel you can clone instantly with a 7-second voice command.
A.I Funnels: Create high-converting funnels with a few clicks by leveraging AI technology.
A.I Funnels Mobile: Create high-converting mobile funnels too… With 50% of traffic now coming from smartphones you can unlock a whole new revenue stream with this one feature alone.
A.I Funnels-Emails: Generate and send emails with A.I Funnels Emails without paying monthly.
A.I Funnels Traffic: Instantly generates tens of thousands of targeted clicks for each campaign with ZERO ads.
Cell-Phone Edition: This will allow you to also operate A.I Funnels, even from your mobile phone… Whether it’s an Android, iPhone, or tablet, it will work.
Training Videos: There is NOTHING missing in this training… Everything you need to know is explained in IMMENSE details.
World-class Support: Have a question? Just reach out to us and our team will do their best to fix your problem in no time.
A.I Funnels Review: Old Way Versus New Way?
A.I Funnels Review: Who Should Use It?
Affiliate Marketers
CPA Marketers
Influencers
Housewives
Amazon Sellers
Video Marketers…
Product Owners…
Book Publisher…
eCom Store Owners
Coaches
Tiktokers
Service Providers
Website Owners
YouTubers
List builders
And Many Others
A.I Funnels Review: OTO’s And Pricing
Front End Price: A.I Funnels ($17)
THE WORLD’S 1ST One & Only Voice Activated a.I-Powered funnel Builder Complete With Course Creator, Traffic & More.
OTO1: A.I Funnels Unlimited Edition ($147)
Create unlimited podcasts, no usage restriction, etc.
OTO2: A.I Funnels DFY Setup Setup ($297)
In this upgrade, our team sets up the software for your customers.
OTO3: A.I Funnels AutoPilot Edition ($39)
Your customers will be able to activate all the automation tools within ONYX.
OTO4: A.I Funnels 200 DFY Campaigns Edition ($39)
Your customers will get 200 done-for-you proven money-making campaigns that have made us $50,000.
OTO5: A.I Funnels Franchisee Edition ($197)
Your customers will get bumped up to 85% across the entire funnel with additional tutorials on how to promote the funnel to make sales.
My Own Customized Exclusive VIP Bonus Bundle
***How To Claim These Bonuses***
Step #1:
Complete your purchase of the A.I Funnels: My Special Unique Bonus Bundle will be visible on your access page as an Affiliate Bonus Button on WarriorPlus immediately after purchase. And before ending my honest A.I Funnels Review, I told you that I would give you my very own unique PFTSES formula for Free.
Step #2:
Send the proof of purchase to my e-mail “[email protected]” (Then I’ll manually Deliver it for you in 24 HOURS).
A.I Funnels Free Premium Bonuses
A.I Funnels Review:nbsp;Money Back Guarantee
You’re 100% Covered By Our 365 Day Iron Clad Money Back Guarantee
A.I Funnels is not trash or untested app. We know what it can do. But what if you never use A.I Funnels for any reason, whatsoever? We demand that you email us. We only want your money if it’s simple, or you don’t make money.
A.I Funnels makes us more than enough. We will be sending you $250 and a gift for wasting your time and you don’t have to keep your money if you’re not gonna use it, not just that. That’s the worst case scenario: you get A.I Funnels and make no money.
A.I Funnels Review: Pros and Cons
Pros of A.I Funnels:
Quick Setup: It is user friendly for beginners, and one funnels saving time.
A.I-Powered Optimization: It gets conversion rates optimized without any optimization by itself.
Built-In Free Traffic Sources: It helps reduce reliance on paid ads – which helps reduce marketing costs.
Customizable Templates: It provided high converting, niche specific templates that are easy to customize.
Real-Time Analytics: It provides for valuable quick adjustments for improving funnel performance.
Cons of A.I Funnels:
No free plan: Paid subscription only.
Requires stable internet connection.
Nothing wrong with it, it works perfectly!
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQ’s)
Q. Why Will This Work For Me?
This will work because it’s personally proven and tested by us personally to produce results. Secondly, we’ve made it as easy as possible to get results, just set & forget.
Q. Why Is This Different To Everything Else?
Well, what you generally see on the market for sale right now is reliant upon beat-up old models that frankly speaking are not very effective anymore, A.I Funnels is in demand and hot right now.
Q. Is There A Money Back Guarantee?
Yes, you are covered by our 365-day money-back guarantee. There is absolutely no risk when you act now. The only way you lose is if you don’t grab A.I Funnels at a special discount.
Q. Do I Need Traffic For This To Work?
Free Traffic Is Included as Well As Our Promotional Tool So You Can Get Traffic In As Little As 60 Seconds!
Q. I Don’t Know Anything About Funnels Will This Work For Me?
Absolutely YES, zero previous experience is needed. It’s a case of setting up the app which takes 5 minutes and then letting it run to enjoy the fruits.
Q. Is This Compatible On Any PC, Mac, Android & iPhone?
Yes, you can use this on any device with a web browser.
Q. Are There Any Monthly Fees?
Right now, No! We’ve eliminated the monthly fee for the special introductory launch period. (But hurry because the price will revert to $47 a month AFTER the launch period ends)
Q. Do I Need Any Tech Skills Or Experience?
No tech skills or previous experience is needed to get results with the A.I Funnels app…No tech skills or previous experience is needed to get results with the A.I Funnels app.
Q. I’m Still Unsure If I Should Buy?
If You Want Different Results, Then You Gotta Try Something Different. A.I Funnels Is 100% Risk-Free Take It For A Test-Drive, If You’re Unhappy We’ll Send You Your Money & You Can Keep A.I Funnels.
My Recommendation
A.I Funnels is a very good tool for users who don’t want to take the time and take technical skills to make Funnels. A.I. powered optimizations and free traffic sources coupled with a one click setup give users a simplified way to build funnels that can help a wide range of users. While it won’t enable marketers to get as deep into the customization of their campaigns as those more advanced marketers crave, it will be a useful asset for new and intermediate marketers.
All in all, A.I Funnels is a good option for anyone that wants to get traffic and sales on autopilot for the least effort possible. A.I funnels is a cost effective user friendly tool to help you generate conversions if you are in market streamlining this service to your website.
<<>> CLICK HERE TO GET INSTANT ACCESS NOW <<>>
Check Out My Previous Reviews: OneAi 2.0 Review, UltraSuite Review, AIxmastore Review, AI Universee Review, and FreelancerPro AI Review.
Thank for reading my A.I Funnels Review till the end. Hope it will help you to make purchase decision perfectly.
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Optimizing Google Ads for Mobile: Best Practices and Techniques
Why Mobile Optimization Matters for Google Ads
With mobile traffic surpassing desktop, ensuring your ads are fully optimized for mobile isn’t just a best practice; it’s crucial for meeting your audience where they are. Mobile-optimized ads can improve your visibility on search results, boost your mobile conversion rate, and provide a smoother user experience, which ultimately benefits your PPC Marketing Agency in Pune and any business relying on effective ad campaigns.
1. Utilize Responsive Search Ads
Responsive Search Ads (RSAs) allow Google to automatically test different combinations of headlines and descriptions, finding the best-performing versions for each search query and device. This adaptability is essential for Mobile Google Ads Optimization as it customizes the display to fit various screen sizes. Make sure to:
Create at least three variations of headlines and descriptions.
Include keywords such as Mobile Google Ads Optimization and Google Ads Mobile Best Practices.
Use concise text that communicates value quickly since mobile users tend to skim content.
By using RSAs, your ads have a greater chance of appearing in the ideal format on mobile, which increases the likelihood of engaging potential customers.
2. Focus on Mobile-Specific Keywords
Mobile search behavior often differs from desktop due to users’ specific needs or situations. For example, someone searching for a PPC Marketing Agency in Pune on mobile might add “near me” to their query. Incorporate these mobile-specific terms into your Google Ads keyword strategy to improve relevance.
Additionally, remember that mobile users may search with voice commands, which tend to be longer and more conversational. Consider adding long-tail keywords that reflect common voice searches, as this can increase your ad’s visibility in mobile searches.
3. Optimize Landing Pages for Mobile
No mobile Google Ads strategy is complete without ensuring that your landing pages are mobile-friendly. Google assesses landing page experience when determining ad quality scores, which directly impacts ad rank and cost-per-click. For optimized mobile landing pages:
Implement responsive design so the page adjusts to fit any device.
Ensure fast loading times; ideally, mobile pages should load within three seconds.
Place clear calls-to-action (CTAs) above the fold, as mobile users often don’t scroll extensively.
This ensures that when users click through, they are greeted by an experience tailored to mobile conversion. Pages that load slowly or display poorly on mobile devices can drive potential customers away, harming your Google Ads Mobile Conversion Tips strategy.
4. Adjust Bids for Mobile Devices
Google Ads allows you to set bid adjustments for mobile devices, which is essential for optimizing ad spend. If data shows that mobile users convert at a higher rate for certain keywords, you can increase your bids for mobile traffic. Alternatively, if mobile conversions are lower for particular campaigns, consider reducing bids to prioritize higher-performing channels.
Regularly reviewing performance metrics for both mobile and desktop is a critical part of Mobile Google Ads Optimization. This ensures your ads are reaching the right audience in the most cost-effective way.
5. Leverage Mobile Ad Extensions
Ad extensions provide additional information and encourage more engagement by adding details like a phone number, location, or call-to-action. For mobile ads, prioritize extensions that directly support the mobile experience:
Call Extensions: Display a clickable phone number, allowing mobile users to call directly from the ad.
Location Extensions: Show your business location, which is especially useful for local searches like “PPC Marketing Agency in Pune.”
App Extensions: Encourage users to download your app, which is helpful if you have a mobile application that enhances your customer experience.
Using these mobile-specific extensions can help drive conversions directly from the ad, making your Google Ads Mobile Best Practices more impactful.
6. Create Mobile-First Ad Copy
Mobile users are often on the go and have shorter attention spans than desktop users. Craft ad copy that is concise, engaging, and action-oriented. When optimizing for mobile, consider these strategies:
Use short, impactful phrases that quickly communicate value.
Focus on urgency-based CTAs such as “Buy Now,” “Get a Quote,” or “Call Us.”
Incorporate terms that resonate with mobile users, like “fast,” “easy,” or “quick.”
This Optimize Google Ads for Mobile strategy ensures that your ads immediately capture the attention of mobile users, leading to better engagement and, potentially, higher conversion rates.
7. Test, Analyze, and Refine
Mobile advertising is not a one-time setup. Regular testing and analysis are essential to stay competitive. Use A/B testing to refine ad elements such as headlines, descriptions, and CTAs. Pay close attention to metrics specific to mobile performance, such as:
Click-through rates (CTR) and conversion rates for mobile versus desktop.
Bounce rates on mobile landing pages.
User interaction time on mobile landing pages.
By continually testing and refining, you can ensure your Google Ads Mobile Conversion Tips are always aligned with current user behavior and preferences.
8. Optimize for App Traffic if Applicable
If your business has a mobile app, target app users and integrate app-specific ads to drive in-app conversions. Google Ads provides various app campaign options that can help you reach audiences on Google Search, YouTube, and across the Google Display Network. When targeting app users, consider app promotion ads, in-app action ads, or remarketing ads to engage existing users and improve retention.
Conclusion
Optimizing Google Ads for mobile is crucial in today’s digital landscape. With users increasingly relying on their mobile devices, a strategy that prioritizes Mobile Google Ads Optimization can significantly enhance ad performance, drive engagement, and boost conversions. From using responsive ads to optimizing mobile landing pages and refining ad copy, these Google Ads Mobile Best Practices ensure your campaigns are tailored for mobile success.
#PPC Marketing Agency in Pune#Mobile Google Ads Optimization#Google Ads Mobile Best Practices#Google Ads Mobile Conversion Tips#Optimize Google Ads for Mobile
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KartFlow Review: Crush eCommerce Without Stores in 60 Seconds Using AI-Powered eCom Funnels
Introduction: KartFlow Review
New and attractive opportunities of performing the eCommerce site in today’s world are quite different from old-fashion methods like Shopify, Amazon, and common store. KartFlow, an eCommerce business that operates without any stores, says its selling technique involves the use of artificial intelligence. Through KartFlow, one can build 100% functional, high converting eCommerce funnels with the power of a keyword or voice command giving opportunities to both experienced sellers and newbies to make money with no products, stocks, shipping or customers services to deal with.
In this review, a detailed analysis of the operational methods, key features of KartFlow, its advantages, and potential, in the context of the mentioned claims of being a groundbreaking tool in the sphere of eCommerce.
An Overview: KartFlow Review
Creator: Seun Ogundele
Product: KartFlow
The official page: Check
Front-end price: $17
Discount: Check
Niche: Dropshipping, Ecommerce, Shopify,Artificial Intelligence (AI)
Bonus: Yes, Huge Bonus
Guarantee: 180-days money-back guarantee!
KartFlow Review: What is KartFlow?
KartFlow is an AI driven eCommerce application which does not involve any store provisions and assist the user in developing very effective sales funnels within a span of a few minutes through a keyword or voice command. Advertising all the benefits that the platform brings, it has to be mentioned that there are no maintenance of a typical online shop, stock, delivery, and customer service issues. As such, KartFlow allows users to create efficient funnels for current trend products without or with minimal physical store or website setup.
Simplification is at the forefront, and it guarantees customers to get their first lucrative funnel in 60 seconds max. In our case, KartFlow is interesting for those who are frustrated by the monthly charges like on Shopify, or even for those who do not possess technical background yet who wishes to tap into the billion-dollar industry of eCommerce.
#ecommerce#review#ecomfunnels#AIpowered#KartFlow#onlineshopping#digitalmarketing#ecommerceplatform#ecommercesolutions#ecommercetools#ecommercestrategy#ecommercebusiness#ecommercestore#ecommercewebsite#ecommercegrowth#ecommercetips#ecommerceadvice#ecommerceinsights#ecommerceexpert#ecommercehacks#ecommerceoptimization#ecommerceconversion#ecommerceautomation#ecommerceinnovation#ecommercefuture
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