#COULD I draw their clothes on them for realism? yeah probably
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Molluck Sports
Yeah, you probably never thought of seeing Molluck playing Wii Sports... Me neither, until I got this random idea today (yesteday) and I had to sketch it... Oh, and yes, he has a golden Wii remote; he is a Gluk, he cannot just have a regular one.
It has came to my mind to sometimes think of how a Glukkon would be able to play video games but I never had an idea like this... Yeah, it's kinda tricky for them to use controllers and they should sit to be able to use both hands, but something like a Wii remote could be used while standing. Soulstorm Glukkons have those special 'arm holes' so they are able to use their hands 'as hands' and therefore they are probably quite good at standing on one arm.
I gotta say that my favourite stuff to draw is random silly stuff like this. That 'emotion effect' is actually an reference to the same effect used for Mii characters. Oh, and yes, I do have created a kinda cursed looking Molluck Mii but it's alright, he is still cute in a certain way. Yeah, I like those Wii games (all Wii sport/exercise stuff and Wii Party) and I barely have any other Wii games... I'm not good at getting into new games 'n' stuff, so I bet that that's also why it took me so long to get into Oddworld too since I had known it for many years before I found my interests toward it. I'm a person who just tends to replay the same games for decades.
But yeah, I imagine that Molluck is playing bowling here. Would you dare to play with him? I imagine that he ain't good at losing but he can keep cool when it's needed, oh and he got the wrist strap on, so no worries. I would at least like to play with him, love to actually. Also yeah, there probably ain’t video games in Oddworld but I just sometimes like to put Molluck into my own world, like here, when I create stuff about him.
I have also been back to Blender stuff now, doing a Molluck model. Just got the basic shape done, gotta sculpt it and then retopology it and do other 'fun stuff'... It's just a lot work, especially when I have never done it before, but it's what I wanna do. I'm trying to make the naked model first and then make him some clothing, like that his clothing isn't a part of his model, like I assume that in New 'n' Tasty there are two different Molluck models, a naked one and a clothed one. I wanna make him 'undressable', for realism and other reasons... This Glukkon is just all I want... I cannot help it, he just feels so right.
I have felt worse again but Molluck helps me to keep my head together and keep going, when my mind just tells me the worst possible stuff...
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RAAAAAAH i want a match ngl LMAO
Jjk match because Im a fucking simp, and a guy bcs I am in fact a straight woman thanks
I'm a big nerd. Like, a very big nerd. I do math for fun and I am not ashamed at all when I interrupt someone to correct them (I have autism and ADHD, how could you tell?)
I'm relatively closed off, and most of the time, insecure. I'm shy and I barely ever make the first move (unless I've had a couple of drinks or a lot of eyeliner). I think what people most define me as is the "old soul, young body). I'm like the mom of the group, though I am absolutely reckless when there's another mom in the group, since it takes the responsibility away from me.
I hate going out, and it's really hard to get me to go to the beach, for example. I think my best quality personality-wise is that I'm down to earth and realistic about my goals. A problem is probably how much self-doubt I have, since people constantly tell me I am capable of achieving more than I think I can. I don't settle for seconds, but I'm not too excited when I rech first, because there's always a new competition.
Oh yeah, I'm competitive. Very.
I'm a pessimist, though I like to say it's realism, because why be positive, hype myself up, only for it to go wrong and the disappointment hurt me? As I said, emotionally closed off.
My personality is the infamous black cat, and I think (though I'm not sure), that a golden retriever boy is what would fit me best. (even though I simp for other black cat guys)
For hobbies, I'm boring, though I do have many. I play the guitar, do martial arts (krav maga), draw, sing, write absolutely filthy smut, and, most important of all: do math and study. Yeah, my main hobby is studying.
I'm not sure how I show my love? I don't, usually. I can love someone unconditionally and be absolutely lovesick, but only after a very heavy emotional session, may it be a fight or drinks, will I tell soemone how much they mean to me. I spent the last four years with my best friend, and only after a day's worth of drinking and crying did I tell her how much she meant to me.
I'm a bit icky with physical touch, but if I trust them, I'll let them cling to me. Initially push people away and only after knowing them do I let them hug me, kiss me, cuddle me. I am awful when dealing with compliments, and I cannot take a gift. So probably quality time is my love-receiving language when generally speaking. A boyfriend/husband would probably work with physical touch and words of affirmation, though.
I dont think there's any big turn-off or turn-on in relationships? Maybe not giving me enough attention and helping me emotionally, because I'm easily falling into insecurity, feeling like I'm not enough.
I have like medium curly dark hair and dark eyes. Eyebags, and a lot of moles all over my face. My body is relatively fit? I have a bit of fat ngl but I also have muscles. A bit of a tummy and thicc thighs (they do, in fact, save lives) that double the size when I sit (insecurity alert!) I'm pale, though I am a mixed baby. I dress in all-black most of the time, and all the color variations are like red or dark blue. (I AM NOT EMO). I wear eyeliner from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep and I have pierced ears. I also plan on getting nip piercings and plan on getting
I think i need more songs to listen to, so I'm going with the three songs he associates wit me.
Congratulations! You have been matched with...
Choso Kamo
When people see you and Choso together, they immediately assume that you're just another average emo couple, quick to place stereotypes. But under the heavy eyeliner and dark clothes, are two people who are just trying to figure out life in their own way.
Choso is fascinated by your contradictions: insecure yet quick to correct others, pessimistic but burning with a competitive drive for more. Where some people may see indecision, he sees something much more real and human in comparison to the single-minded characters he's met during his time alive. Living is hard, has experienced it for himself, so he doesn't shun you for your contrasting perspectives. Instead, he wants to learn about the world alongside you, unpicking the way you think, wondering about your insecurities. Although he's been through a lot, there's something inherently innocent and simplistic in the way Choso sees the world. If you're an old soul in a young body, then he's a young soul in an old one. Perhaps by meeting somewhere in the middle, the two of you will get closer to unravelling the mystery that is life.
Choso doesn't mind that you don't like going out, but you often find yourself tagging along as he explores the world in small ways. A trip to the convenience store may as well be a museum visit, with the way he asks you about the products, eyeing them with confusion. He also admires the fact that you study math—to dedicate yourself to understanding anything in such depth is no small feat—and he's happy to sit next to you while you work, occasionally asking questions about your interest in the subject. His most common form of affection is just leaning his head against your shoulder, watching silently as you work.
Dates with Choso are pretty laid back, since he's happy to take the lead on whatever makes you comfortable. It doesn't matter to him where you two are. For him, understanding your mind (and falling in love with the way you think, the way you are) is what matters to him the most.
The Matchmaker's Gift:
Contrary to popular belief, Choso's music taste is rather soft. This song reminds him of the inherent dependence that comes with being connected.
Offering you this song with a curious tilt of his head, Choso asks you if this is how your pessimism feels like.
This is the song Choso uses to confess to you. His feelings are one of the few things he has to his name, and he wants to share them with you.
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Mortus mere moments before they are unwillingly thrown into The Pile (circa post Malaise, colourized)
#This image is called 'Art is 8ft tall.jpg' use that info as you will#You can convince me that Lucky's missing head isn't vital to the plot but I will DIE on the hill of Art being fucking massive#stir of the malaise#another high quality shitpost by yours truly#I should probably make one of Sentir and Moon t-posing over Bee#COULD I draw their clothes on them for realism? yeah probably#Will I? nah fuck that
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Minimum Distance
If there’s one thing Obi’s sure of, it’s that this is Hisame’s fault.
Not the lockdown-- though honestly, he wouldn’t put it past the bastard if it meant having things go his way-- but everything else. This fucking party. That stupid fake dating plan. The kiss.
He scrapes a hand down his face. This whole ‘day trip’ is turning right into a disaster weekend and god, if he had the ability to fly right back to DC right now, he would. But instead he’s trapped here, in the middle of the New Mexican desert, in the Smart House of some elusive and shady billionaire. He must have kicked a puppy in the last life-- no, bags of puppies-- if the universe is exerting this level of karmic violence on him.
His back hits the door. He needs like, five minutes. Just until he learns how to breathe again.
Which he’s not going to do, if he keeps replaying that kiss in his head. You know, the only thing he’s been doing for the past twenty-four hours, including breakfast, where Rougis just stared at him with that grin on his face. Like he knew. Like he could somehow see every last mortifying second of his dreams last night, and thought it was funny.
Doc’s informed him this whole pandemic thing is serious, that there’s stuff with r’s and knots and things being close to two. He is tangentially aware aware of how a logarithmic scale works, and he’d never wish anyone actually sick, but-- if Hisame could just shuffle off this mortal coil in the next few hours, that would really pluck one of the bigger monkeys off his back.
He takes a deep breath-- more like a deep hiccup, honestly-- and lets the tension fall out of him. It’s fine. He doesn’t have time to stand here and freestyle mental scream. He has to work on getting them back home. Which means getting this Rugilia guy to sign off on funding.
And then he can hop on a plane, pandemic permitting, and get instantly fired for kissing his boss’s girlfriend. Bingo bango bongo. Job well done.
God, it would be just great if he could resist fucking up just one good thing in his life. At least Ryuu will still write.
Right, no time for catastrophizing. They’ve got a billionaire to woo. Or something.
He swings open his door-- no, it’s her door, but also his, because switching rooms seemed prudent when the guy holding all the keys spent a night trying to get Doc alone in a garden-- only to run into Doc. Literally. Right there. In her borrowed pajamas.
Whatever intel Rugilia had on her was clearly not as good as his, since Doc is really a matching pajama sets kind of girl, and not--
Well, after living with her for three years, Obi can firmly say he’s never seen a cotton teddy. At least, not on Doc herself.
He could get used to it, though.
“Oh, Obi!” She blinks, taking a step back. Adjusts her glasses, too. Tugs at a hem that is not going to get any lower, no matter how much she tries. “I was just coming to see you.”
“Ah.” He scrubs at the back of his head; it gives him as good an excuse as any for looking anywhere else. If he gives her more than a glance he’ll start counting freckles, and well-- they have separate rooms for a reason “Me, too. I was thinking--”
“The room thing isn’t going to work.”
He blinks. Blinks again.
“I mean...” Her cheeks bloom to a pale pink, the start of what’s sure to be a painful blush. “We should be sharing a room.”
He hopes there’s an actual, medical doctor in this group of useless socialites, because he’s about to have a cardiac event, and Doc’s doesn’t have the right alphabet soup to handle that kind of thing. “UH.”
“No, no!” She waves her hands, and god, they’re so close her fingertips practically brush his chest. Which wouldn’t be a problem if she didn’t follow up with, “I just mean, we should be sleeping together.”
Oh, it’s too late for medical intervention now; he’s already dead. “Ah, Doc--?”
“I just mean,” she yelps, fingers fluttering nervously between them, making it real hard to not look down and get some solid ideas about her cup size. “I know we switched rooms. For safety.”
“For safety,” he echoes dumbly, because that’s the level of thought he’s at right now. Or at least, the level he can safely be at without risking a real containment breach on all the things he’s not allowed to think when Doc’s around, wearing almost nothing, and telling him they need to put their bodies in close, horizontal proximity.
“But if we’re trying to be a couple, I don’t think...” Her tongue pokes out, pink and spongy, and draws his eyes right to the lips he definitely shouldn’t be staring at. “Well, I just don’t think that we-- that you-- that it looks--?”
“You mean,” he says, so slow, like she’s a rogue possum and he’s animal control, “I don’t look like the kind of guy who wouldn’t be taking advantage of a king bed and silk sheets?”
“Ah...” She’s the one that blinks now, eyelashes fluttering against red cheeks that are begging him to take their temperature. “Not-- not the way you were, um...”
She lets the implication hand in the air, and god, fuck Rougis for putting that fucking idea in his head, for even allowing the memory of her against him like that, sighing into his mouth--
“I thought we were supposed to be keeping it on the down low,” he says, leaning in with a grin. “Since you’re slumming it with the help.”
Her mouth goes from sexy to scowl. “I’m not slumming it with anyone.”
“Right, right, I know that,” he assure her, “but Rugilia--”
“No.” It’s loud enough that he flinches, because fuck, he can pretend to be normal all the live long day, but the second a voice raises-- “Oh, Obi, sorry, I didn’t--” her palm wraps warmly around his arm, thumb rubbing over the cotton of his sleeve-- “I just meant that I’m not-- it’s not-- being with you isn’t slumming.”
It’s all a little much having her so close, having so little of her be clothed, and smell so good as she does. She must have taken a shower or something before rushing out here to make herself his own personal problem. In any case, all he manages is a half-dubious, half-distracted hum.
“Besides,” she adds, one of her eyebrows rounding in a teasing arch, “as far as I was aware, doctors and lawyers were considered the same pay grade.”
Obi coughs on his own spit. “I’m not a lawyer.”
“And I’m not that kind of doctor.” Her arms fold neatly-- distractingly-- beneath her breasts, A cups giving off a distinctly B-cup vibe. “But Eisetsu doesn’t know that. I told him I was here about a vaccine, and you said you were here to keep me out of trouble.”
And with a man used to dealing with pharma rather than the academic side, the legal representation would be implied. Obi scrubs a hand through his hair, staring down at his silk pajama set, and tries to discern what about him says ‘went to a four-year college,’ let alone law school. “Me?”
“Well...” She really shouldn’t look at him like that, all coy from the corner of those big eyes, if he can’t give her a repeat performance of last night. “It only makes sense. I mean, who else does Zen hang out with.”
Now, that-- that gives him pause. Mitsuhide, lawyer. Kiki, lawyer. Doc, doctor, but Not That Kind. Him--
“Fuck me,” he breathes, “that actually makes sense.”
“It does,” she agrees primly. “I’d thought the keeping it quiet angle was more along the line of, uh, conflict of interest, rather than, um, other reasons.”
Other reasons, like that half of his other aliases were on No Fly lists. “Conflict of Interest?”
“Well, um...” Her flush is brighter this time, spilling over her cheeks and down her neck, flirting with the lace edging her neckline, and he certainly is feeling both conflicted and interested about how far it might go-- “There’s probably fraternization rules.”
He blinks. “Fraternization?”
“You know,” she says slowly, taking a step back, right into the doorway of her-- his room. “That employees can’t date or, um--” her skin’s barely a shade lighter than her hair-- “do other stuff. At least without clearing with HR first.”
It shouldn’t be so cute that a woman with a doctorate can’t say sex, but this is it, this is his type now.
“Other stuff, hm?” He steps close, their toes sharing the jamb. So close that when she sucks in a breath, shallow and quick, her chest brushes against his. “If we’re supposed to be fraternizing in this room tonight, a few things are going to have to change.”
She shuffles back, an arm’s length--one of hers, at least-- toes curling on the carpet. “O-oh?”
The thing is: Obi can’t resist a good joke. It’s why he works so good with the boss-man; no matter how transparent, how dumb it is, all his teasing crawls right under that lily-white thin skin of his and sends Wisteria climbing right up the wall. It’s satisfying.
So when he closes the gap between them with a single long stride, he expects Doc to just-- tell him to quit it. Yelp maybe. Slap his chest. Scold him, if he’s lucky.
But instead she just peers up at him, chest quivering, and doesn’t get the joke. By the way she’s looking at him, she--
Ah, well, it doesn’t look like she minds overly much either. Which is going to make this Not Funny real quick in a southerly direction.
Strange, he doesn’t feel much like laughing either.
“The bed.” His hips guide her back a step, then two. “For one.”
She really needs to stop him, to put her foot down, to really get it through to the parts of him below the belt that she’s not interested in bringing some realism to this little show they’re putting on.
Instead, she lets him herd her four more steps back, body following every slow, rolling suggestion of his. “Bed?”
“Yeah.” Her knees hit the edge of the mattress-- well, considering how tall these beds are, her waist. She wobbles, hands bracing on his chest. “We need to get this bed messy.”
Her breath sighs into the air between them, eyes so round, so dark, and--
She realizes what he’s about to do five seconds too late. “Obi, n--!”
Feathers fly everywhere. Damn, this Rugilia guy really did spare no expense.
There’s a long, quiet moment, Shirayuki staring up at him with confusion and betrayal warring in her eyes, and she-- she laughs. It’s all the warning he gets before he’s blind-sided, pillow knocking him to his knees, and god, she’s going to regret starting a fight with--
Tap tap. Tap tap.
They both freeze, staring at one another. That was on the door. Her door. No, his door.
“It’s Eisetsu,” comes the soft voice through it. “Can we talk?”
#obiyukichopped#obiyuki#akagami no shirayukihime#snow white with the red hair#my fic#modern au#quarantine au#ans#this is another one of those fics where I really just gotta...write out the whole thing#and i will!#hopefully in Feb/March you'll see the first chapter of this particular fic#i have got some IDEAS for how this is going to go down#and oh boy is it gonna be fun
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Yo Hajime talk abt ur kin mems
since there were no specifications on which ones i am going to start from the beginning and go where my brain takes me from there. they're all gonna be for hajime bc i physically cannot think about my other memories anymore jsyk
also! this ended up being so long i had to put a cut. i will not be apologizing because i feel no remorse.
so first the basic stuff, i remember having a med skin tone and a FUCK ton of freckles like those motherfuckers were everywhere i had skin. also i was 5'7 i think?? or 5'6. i still can't remember exactly but it's something like that. i was also alloaro, some form of mlm, unfortunately cis, and autistic and probably had some other stuff like adhd or depression or whatever but i forgot. also i was kinda muscle-y but also chubby at the same time. and i had light green eyes. basically i was fanon hajime JSJSKDJDKS
and i was going over the wiki recently and my personality was EXACTLY how they described it like i'm genuinely surprised they got it so accurate
i don't remember much pre-game and post game, most of my memories are in game but i do remember pre game chiaki really well, honestly i rly miss her :( she would always reassure me that i didn't need a talent and i never even cared when she beat me in games cus just simply playing them with her was so fun .,.,,;:,,...,,!:&:&:jsjdjskskck</3
anyways. in game. ok. i'm gonna skip over memories where i just know feelings and not specific things like strong feelings or ppl saying stuff or else this would be so long. also obvious sdr2 spoilers
so i remember the party & blackout in the beginning of the game pretty clearly. i was mostly just standing alone in the corner and watching everyone have fun, but it was really freeing to see the others able to enjoy themselves in such pressing circumstances. then the blackout-- it was kinda like all that happiness going away and the dread and denial immediately setting in .
anyways i remember like panicking and wanting to cry when i lifted the table cloth cus i really liked twogami. i'm p sure i did end up crying cus i really liked them for their realism and leadership skills, and the realization that one of us killed them and that the killing game was actually real etc etc
anyway i don't remember much from the investigation or trial besides being really freaked out when nagito basically admitted to being the killer n stuff, and pretty much all the body discoveries after that (besides ch 5) we're just like "ah shit here we go again" but i do remember mikans trial really freaking me out when she just straight up shifted completely, and i also remember being really proud of fuyuhiko for putting his walls down a bit and deciding to help everyone out while the despair disease was going around
anyway enough of the boring stuff, i spent basically all my free time with komaeda, chiaki and mikan (in order of frequency) and with mikan i mostly listened to her talk about medical stuff and i comforted her when she needed to vent, but i didn't hang out with her much because the constant apologizing n stuff started to bother me since i really liked seeing her happy. chiaki i would mostly play games with and we wouldn't talk much, but she gave me a really strong sense of familiarity like when we played games together it gave me a shit ton of deja vu
AND i've already talked a lot about komaeda but idc i'm doing it again. so we started talking cus of him waking me up on the beach obvs and i was pretty attached right off the bat, but i stopped talking to him for awhile because the way he acted in the first trial REALLY scared me so i just got a pit in my stomach even being around him
but he was the one who started approaching me first, i'm guessing since he couldn't rly sense anything was wrong he just kinda picked things up where they left off and started talking w me at breakfast n stuff and it was pretty weird at first, but i wanted to give him a chance and didn't wanna be rude so i accepted offers to hang out in his cottage n stuff
i remember he has surgery scars tho and i'm rly mad ppl don't draw him with any!! i think he had about 5 and i don't remember all of them but i know one was a skin graft on his leg and the one on his side/stomach that i touched wassssss for appendix removal maybe???? mmmm i'm not too sure about that one tho
also !!!! his death. hoooooly shit. ok so yunno the despair that junko always talks about ?????? yeah <3!! i remember like once i saw his body and took the reality in i just. straight up could NOT stand i like fell to my knees and jsut . cried. like i had no thoughts my head was so full that it was empty i just kinda sat there and silent cried while chiaki stood next to me it was so awful dude
later while investigating n stuff i felt really bad ab how i treated him and thought about him, and i thought a lot about our last interaction. it was the first time i had ever approached him myself cus usually he'd come to me. i was gonna hang out with chiaki but i wanted to check up on him first, so i did and he told me to go hang out with the others and i just. knew something terrible was about to happen.
OH AND THE FUNHOUSE OMG ok i literally. i usually didn't mind being around komaeda like he was chill most of the time when he wasn't ranting about hope but when he was acting like such a bitch in the funhouse i wanted to punch his stupid twink ass so bad like...... what BUSINESS does this dude have being such an asshole. he doesn't even know what face wash is. what the fuck. which is another fun fact! komaeda did shower every so often which is why he didn't smell that bad but his skin was always so dry cus he didn't know how to actually wash right and do proper skincare so he just washed his face w soap and left it like that
also he didn't need to cut his nails cus they were so brittle they would just break off on their own <3 plus he had a nail biting habit so they just never grew ever
OH AND THIS IS THE SADDEST THING i remember feeling so bad for this man bc i would like put my hand on his shoulder and he would lean into it. i mean i'd tap his shoulder for a SECOND and girl when i let go hed be lowkey so sad i could just sense it like??????dude he needed a hug SSO BAD like when i hugged him in my cuddling memory he was like holding on for dear life but also was like "u dOnT hAvE tO tOuCh TrAsH LiKe mE hAjImE" like dude it was the saddest shit. i want to hug him forever. like what the fuck what the fuck!!!!!!!!!
also a thing hed do when he started ranting ab hope n shit like he would just go on and on and yunno that one sprite where he's hugging himself yeah he literally did that shit. also sometimes hed just stare dead at me and start backing me into a corner ((ish-- we were usually sitting somewhere but he mostly just got super close to me) and it was the scariest shit i. bro if i saw him like that on the streets i'd return him to the mental hospital like i can remember it somewhat vividly and that shit was TERRIFYING i mean obvs after i shoved him away and told him to cool it he'd apologize and go back to the way he was but jeez dude ....
also a little fun fact the only reason i really kept hanging out with him (i had a few ofc but this was the most prominent) is cus he was hot in my stupid monkey brain. yes that's it. like that's literally pretty much it. i hate admitting it but this post is SO fucking long i doubt anyone's gonna read it anyway so i'm admitting it now lol
anyway i hope u enjoyed :) i'm glad u asked btw! i'm sure you regret it though!
#do not fucking underestimate me#i feel like i'm not allowed to talk about myself in conversation so when i'm asked like this you're NOT hearing the end of it#kinblr#fictionkin#hajime hinata kin#nagito komaeda kin#putting this in tags bc theres so much and. i dunno ajdjdjsjdk#kin talk#ask#bestie neko 💕
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i’ve seen the discussion going back and forth on boundaries and sexual objectification, and i don’t have much to add to the conversation other than to say everyone is allowed to determine their OWN ‘lines’ and just because we don’t vocalize them doesn’t make them any less valid. but here’s the limits i set for my blog if anyone feels it is important for them to know (<3):
personally I consider ‘characters’ fair game for anything goes, with ‘public personas’ a little more iffy. ‘RPF’ isn’t new - it just takes on a new more accessible/visible form nowadays. i remember reading my first fic about a ‘real person’ back in my LOTR fandom days - it was a story in first person perspective about the main character meeting orlando bloom on a plane before he was ‘famous’. like a lot of these types of stories, it wasnt so much about the person as it was about the meet cute. the actor was just a convenient placeholder with a handsome face and some personality quirks thrown in to make the romance/dialogue more specific. i personally dont read much xReader fic nowadays, but mostly only cause i’m an old fart who can’t relate to the ‘you’ format. i miss the good old days when people actually created OC’s and then inserted them into things LOL. but also LOL if you think i’ve gone an entire year of quarantine without some imagined personal fantasies of joe mazzello (or steve aoki in the years before)(ramilicious can attest to this. she can also attest to most of these fantasies ending in friendship rather than anything explicit cause that’s just how i roll these days lol). the line i draw is i would never post these types of fics in a place where the subject could accidentally find them - you have to go looking for this stuff on tumblr, most fics are given explicit ratings and under read-mores. with the blacklist tags it’s pretty easy to filter things out. its even easier to add filters to ao3 searches. i am NOT going to do something like message steve aoki and say ‘yeah i watched that movie Ibiza like five times, here is my 1k fic where you’re the dj and i’m the one night stand’. but obviously people still enjoy imagining scenarios like these otherwise movies like Ibiza wouldn’t exist?
for art, i consider anything already on display up for grabs, we all know a certain person’s ass is all over the place...all you have to do is google ‘need for speed’ and rami’s name. HOWEVER, in the case of actors i personally would not draw anything more explicit than what’s already there. i’m not gonna draw full frontal nudity for rami (unless he gifts us with it in a movie, i suppose) or anyone. this is 100% a personal choice for me.
i was a sophomore or junior in college when i volunteered as a figure drawing monitor where i’d time the nude model’s poses and help them set up the stage and lighting and such. there was this one guy in his mid forties probably, a regular who came every week, and i always thought of him fondly till one day (the day after i ran into my Hot Programming TA during dinner and later sent him an email begging him to go on a date with me because i was desperate for kissing experience)(and Hot Programming TA emailed me back within minutes saying yes) this artist guy who i saw all the time and thought i knew fairly well, decided to draw me instead of the model. which would have been fine except he drew me naked. i was NOT naked at the time, i was wearing a shirt, and a bra, and a full prairie skirt with alternating calico and floral patterns. he drew what he imagined was underneath all that. he came up to me after the figure drawing session and showed me his drawings and told me i had been ‘glowing’ and my response was to laugh it off awkwardly and get the hell out of there as soon as i gave the model their pay check. but inwardly i was thinking a) i was NOT glowing for this creepy man twice my age and b) i did NOT give him consent to sexualize my body under my clothes and then SHOW me that objectification. i never said anything to him or anything else, i continued to be the monitor, and i continued to field off creepy advances from him including multiple job offers, but when i finally realized i could just...stop..and i passed the student volunteer monitor job on to my friend naeem, i also realized that what that older male artist did was NOT ok in my book. and it was probably not something he would do while naeem was monitoring.
nowadays im working in an industry that regularly objectifies female bodies. in the past year alone i have had to deal with requests to make breasts bigger, i have been given character rigs that in addition to the usual elbow, knee, and spine joints also have ‘nipple’ joints but ONLY for the women (to make them jiggle for animation), every time i send out a female pose i get it back with notes that push it further into the sexy type of body language reserved for women (twist the spine more! sway the back more! give it ‘energy!’), i have been told to erase wrinkles and fat and pores but ONLY for the women (men you ADD pores bc realism! and manliness!) and this is all me working for a company that is actually fairly progressive in terms of sexism compared to OTHER studios.
like it or not, sexual objectification is a huge part of specifically women’s lives and how we react to that is our business. for me, turning the tables and putting men on display feels like fair’s fair. i cant stop the men from doing it, so if i want to enjoy sexualizing male bodies, damn it im gonna! like dang it, boy do i want to send steve aoki a thank you note every time he posts a video of himself doing those ice baths during the sunset golden hour bc holy shit gorgeous or working out in his gym wearing VERY little clothes, but i dont because i know what its like when someone imposes their personal fantasies on the subject. or, god, there was that time i had to unfollow nicole’s insta for a while bc i had a very explicit dream about her and realized, shit, i need to take a break and get my emotions under control before i can refollow. and god some of the stuff i see dudes sending her during her live videos on mental illness/meditation is TOTALLY gross and not something they should be confronting her with. and she’s not even ‘famous’ famous. or how some fans send their idols explicit direct messages without consent. THAT feels inappropriate to me.
a part of me feels like i shouldn’t have to defend this. men don’t. they’re even encouraged in mass media to sexualize women. but i also recognize the importance of talking about consent. the importance of recognizing that a celebrity deserves to have their boundaries respected. these are my lines in fandom. other people have different lines they won’t cross, and that’s okay to me. i block or blacklist any blogs or tags i think go over the top.
heck, even in fandom-only spaces i still try to keep my own more sexual fantasies off this blog and only in private messages with my friends and mutuals, and i feel like that might come across as unintentionally prudish or judgmental sometimes. i’m not ‘horny on main’ very often. but like...every time i reblog that particular ‘washing machine’ gif of joe mazzello am i thinking about him naked and thinking about how he’s got very loooooong feet, and ‘gee i wonder if that means /other/ things are Too Big for my tastes’ but also ‘gosh wouldnt that make a pretty picture to draw’???? hell yeah.
i dont know who is gonna actually read this essay but yolo i guess :)
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struts onto the dash carrying this deliriously wriggling little elf in my arms like a swaddled bebe......... they’re genuinely my oldest muse of all time i think i created them when i was like. 13 possibly. n i haven’t written them in Years but. i’m literally so excited to jst vibrating w muse. smiles at u all demurely..... they have risen. u can find their pinterest here n their playlist here.
* alana champion, nonbinary + they/them | you know nyla palmer, right? they’re twenty-two, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, eight months? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to 6669 (i don’t know if you know) by neon indian like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole a two headed doll of a prairie girl with stitched on rabbit ears and butterfly wings, befriending shadow puppets & finding god with your eyes open underwater in a public pool you broke into thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is march 2nd, so they’re a pisces, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nai, 24, gmt she/her )
HISTORY:
was born in georgiaaaa georgiaaaa (phoebe bridgers voice holds my bang...) to a vry honest hard working man named george (omgggg he’s called GEORGE and he’s from GEORGIA? ahaaaaa fuckk ur jestinggg) nd a woman who did her best named pamela..... george worked on a construction site n pamela was a pharmacist..... their house was this small rickety white thing with a wrap around porch n a very rabid overgrown garden tht kind of looked like the earth ws trying to reclaim it bc nobody ever hd the time or motivation to mow the lawn.... there ws literally a piece of fold out furniture just entirely submerged by weeds n foliage
nyla ws always closest w their dad george..... he hd this way of looking at the world tht was seeing the best in all of it.... he took them on long walks where he talked abt how u have to respect the trees bc they’re breathing fr us n we’re breathing fr them..... he hd a strange whimsical sense of humour n a gnome alter ego called grundlebolt who always tickled them..... in a way this closeness created a distance between nyla n their mother but not so much that it ws rly a problem. just enough tht nyla sometimes waited until their mother ws out of eye n ear shot to tell their dad they loved him bc they didn’t wna make her sad >_>
(mental health, death & grief tw) pamela always struggled w her mental health but george ws great n understanding n knew how to help her thru this... nyla didn’t get it too greatly at a very young age bt they knew their mum got “the sads” sometimes (how their dad wld explain tht she needed to lay down in the quiet for a while or why she’d stood at the stove n let the dinner burn until the smoke detector went off without doing anything abt it). when nyla was 14 they got home one day to a police car in the driveway n came prancing in exuberantly as they always did. immediately hugged the legs of an officer bc this is hw they wld greet everyone they ever met. they only realised something was wrong when they let go n saw their mum sat at the table crying. essentially there ws an accident at the construction site george worked at n :/ yeah.
(jst mental health & grief tw now) this rly had an intense ripple effect on everyone tbh. pamela’s mental health deteriorated quite a lot without george there as her rock n nyla sort of had to step in as best they cld but it was....... hard. some days she ws better bt some days nyla had to sit her in the bath n stroke a wet sponge over her back bc they didn’t know how else to calm her down. nyla always had a very overactive imagination which george encouraged bt it ws like. losing him rly opened a window in nyla’s head n all rationality went floating out of it. their dreams seemed more real than being awake. fantasy wasn’t jst the way they coped bt it was the way they thought n the way they saw. everything on earth was alive. the trees n the clouds n the wall with a brick missing at the bottom of her road n especially their dad. their dad was alive in everything in nyla’s head. the sun shining extra bright in the morning was george. ponds were a veil they could dunk her head under and find george waiting on the other side. reality rly just pulled the plug n said bye tbh n they were ok w that <3
(abuse implied tw) their mum remarried too fast to a man named stephen n it was jst not a good arrangement. he was Not a nice man. i won’t go into this but home wasn’t a nice place for nyla any more n after a couple of yrs stephen wound up asking them to leave n their mum said nothing to contradict tht. there’s more to this bt long story short nyla left <3
(drugs tw) they couch surfed fr a while before settling living w their best friend. they got up to like... all sorts of trouble n grew up far too fast. nyla’s lack of sense n realism hd a habit of getting them into some sticky situations n these few yrs were a rollercoaster where they got by on the skin of their teeth. when they think of high skl they think of gravel and skinned knees and sucking sherbet dunkers to ignore the taste of pennies in ur mouth and getting lost in the woods a lot bc they’d take FAR too many drugs n be lead astray having conversations with kind trees whose branches held their hands
(drug mention) got by on odd jobs like making candles n selling them at market stalls. leaf blowing at cemeteries. face painting fr children’s parties (where they were blatantly high). random stuff. all over the place. in this time them n their best friend also hd a sugar daddy named tony who always wore very impressive colour block suits n mink stoles n jewelled fedoras n hd a swanky apartment w marble floors. rly just. surreal. lots of strange stories frm this time.
things kind of blew up in their friendship group n they fell out w their best friend raya bc she slept w this guy aj who nyla hd been madly in love w for yrs.... he was a Stinker n honestly so ws their best friend so good riddance i say bt obviously it felt like having their entire world flipped upside dwn fr nyla.... they split after this came out bc they just did Not want to b around these ppl any more n they decided to leave w this guy frm a band they barely knew tht much save fr a one night stand to tour w them..... this ws another whirlwind. jst chock full of them. it ws similar to being on a teacup ride at a carnival n spinning round n round n only knowing u were surrounded by lots of lights. tht’s how they’d best describe their time on tour.
SO in terms of them coming to irving 8 months ago they came w the band.... they honestly did pretty well on tour n wound up renting a big beach house on dorado as a kind of “retreat” sort of place fr them to shack up in while they worked on writing and recording their first big studio album (they gt signed w a label so it’s all vry exciting stuff). nyla among like 3 others were allowed to stay w them too bc they hd a lot of fun on tour. literally jst. taken on as professional groupies essentially. nyla loved it bc they’d never seen the ocean n when they first got there they jst threw off all their clothes n ran straight into the water. it was 3pm on a tuesday afternoon. they got arrested fr public indecency n didn’t get why bc they were like but i just wanted to hug the ocean u silly little oinker? i picture the beach house as like. the loudest one on dorado.... comes alive like a jungle at night..... they r probably bad neighbours. anyway. onto personality puts hand on hip.
PERSONALITY:
sets out patio furniture on someone else’s lawn n jst takes a seat n leans back like ahhhhh vat a nice day to be alive ya! (swedish accent suddenly bc they think it’s fun). they come out n start yelling n they’re jst so confused they’re like hey wat’s the big idea hey wat’s go on here why u angies why this happen?
likes drawing imaginary veins over their arms in all different colour blue pens in a sudden fit of hyperfixation n then forgets all abt it n goes out like tht n scares several townsfolk bt they’re oblivious they’re jst in her own world loving life already onto the next fixation. has many many different fads like this. one day will jst start snipping up a bunch of magazines bc they’re like EYES ARE COOL N THEY SEE EVERYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :P n they’ll stick a bunch of them over their wall n then forget they was doing that n leap onto the next. quite a pattern. bt they love the vein thing a lot it makes them feel like a walking planetarium like they have their own constellations
sometimes jst doesn’t make sense. they’re honestly kind of strange. pops up in places like they suddenly materialised there n it’s like how did u get there where have u been when were u last seen are u ok. has the energy of an ancient deity frm deep in a mountain cave n an ambiguous forest sprite all at once..... talks shit honestly. abt anything n everything. sometimes outrageous. sometimes plain incoherent. like what are u talking about? i dnt kno. even i dnt kno sometimes.
luvs stick n pokes will let anyone tattoo whatever they want on them for the price of a gummy bear kindly placed onto their tongue n swallowed whole
has this obsession w being underwater w their eyes open luvs it. calls it their tadpole time. runs baths just to lie there blinking looking around n drifting her arms. best friends w the bottom of any local swimming pool n hs probably given it a quick kiss so it knows they’re bff’s n then got sick bc there’s sm germs in a public pool. says the kgb probably poisoned their oatmeal n r finally here to deliver on their promise n THAT’S why they got sick unrelated to the pool incident. what promise? noone knows.
unclear if they believe what they say or if they jst has a very expanded sense of humour where they nvr let on if they’re joking.... lines r blurred a lot.....
loves excitedly shouting things. sometimes just screams at the sky bc they say it’s good to let the creatures in ur belly fly out every once in a while otherwise their wings get sore.
(drugs tw) still does an excessive amt of hallucinogens n it kind of shows. very bad fr their brain bt we’re going to ignore it.
dresses fun n strange n eccentric n careless. loves to experiment. does nt care abt what’s considered to be societally appropriate. living in their own world.
sleeps around a lot... jst doesn’t rly see sex as a big deal.... very free w themselves in that way..... sometimes greets their friends w a kiss on the lips they’re like awww :) kisses <3 when they run into them in the middle of the cereal aisle n then pulls away n suddenly breaks into a box tht has a free toy in it bc it’s a banana with googly eyes n that’s the best thing they’ve ever heard in their LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n isn’t he so HANDSOME????? enchante indeed my good sir ;)... gives the toy a kiss too.
WANTED CONNECTIONS:
other groupies of the band: self explanatory a little.... i dnt have a name for the band yet bt all can b worked out..... i picture them as kind of. not that nice but like. there for a good time........ rock genre.... bit chaotic...... to say the least........ they dnt have to have come there w the band like nyla n the others they cld have been adopted in their time there.... whoever wld b wild n down fr a good time <3
chaotic trash goblin friends: idk what this title rly means it just came to me in a vision....... jst ppl tht r rly kind of off the rails n don’t care abt anything...... they r who nyla tends to mesh very well w......... they rly r living in their own world n by their own rules n they like ppl who do this too <3 inevitably they get up to no good n party far too much...... cld be angst to this if they enable each other’s bad habits...... world’s our oyster. opens my office door. let’s talk abt it.
nyla set up camp on their front lawn: maybe jst w a fold out chair. maybe w a literal pop up tent w someone else too. genuinely so bizarre of them bt that’s what we’re dealing with. they poke their head into the tent n nyla’s lying down crunching on a cracker crumbs over their tits n they just hold it out to them nt even fully consumed n are like hey polly want a cracker? :)
they responded to her craigslist ad: they posted one saying they cld cleanse their house of demonic energy bc they’re an all seeing eye in touch w the spirits. this is a lie. they came n waved sage around n did a little dance as they did it w bird sounds playing on a special cd they brought fr the occasion (had weird indistinct doodles over the case it ws brought in) n then ws like OOH! scary.... n jumped at something in the hall. they go in thinking maybe they’ve seen a ghost bt they just were startled by their own reflection in a mirror n is like. scary mirror placement...... might wna reconsider that........ they charge them merely 10 dollars fr their time n is like this was so fun we shd do it again some time :) also i think u have mould on ur bathroom tile! vanishes. they dnt recall them ever going to the bathroom.
came knocking asking for items for a garage sale: yes. u heard that right. they’re asking for ur muses things to set up their own garage sale. selling items that do not belong to them. they think this is a genius business strategy n don’t understand why ppl think this is so strange or why they cant just ask ppl to donate them things to sell bc hey they’re an entrepreneur? they even had a pencil behind their ear when they knocked on the door so why aren’t ppl taking their business seriously? probably got distracted several times trying to explain their pitch n chattered abt random other things instead.
honestly anything... fwbs... flings... good influence... someone who cnt stand the fact they’re barely coherent.... someone they stopped on the street one day n asked for their opinion on water beds.... we cn do literally anything. fling ur chara my way n we can talk.
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Zombie Movie: I Am Legend (2007)
“Here’s Karen at the health desk.”
Karen from the health desk. (Picture: A female news anchor, Karen from the health desk.)
Language warning (sorry kids, but this is an MA15+ movie).
I shit you not, that’s one of the opening quotes of the movies. So, friends and enemies, welcome to the longest review I’ve done of a zombie movie yet. It’s 1:35am here in Australia and I’ve just finished rewatching I Am Legend, everything’s fresh in my mind and I’m hyped up on chocolate.
This movie has incredible tension, a fresh take on the zombie apocalypse, and it’s based on the 1954 novel by Richard Matherson, which inspired the modern day vampire and zombie movies. Why you may ask? Because it popularised the concept of a worldwide apocalypse due to a disease... now I’m beginning to realise that watching zombie movies during a global pandemic maybe wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had. Any who.
YouTube rewind made me forget how bloody good of an actor Will Smith is, and boy does he deliver in this movie. Robert’s (that his character, btw, though I will probably end up just referring to the character as Will Smith) interactions with Sam the goodest girl in the world (she’s a dog) and the mannequins is incredible.
The goodest girl in the world. (Picture: A dog (I’m sorry - I don’t know dog breeds! I’m 99% sure she’s a German Shepard) being given a bath and head scratches by Will Smith.)
Now: three things to look forward to in this “review” (assuming you read the spoilery section below). One: how realistic is this apocalypse? Two: there’s a dog. Three: zombie vampires. Vampire zombies?
Backgrounds details! (Picture: Will Smith opened the fridge. On the fridge door are photos of his wife and daughter, a calendar dated for December, a drawing with “Marley” written in kids handwriting, post-it notes, a pamphlet with the heading “Quarantine”, and a Time Magazine cover of Robert Neville (Will Smith). The title reads (heading) “Saviour?” (sub-heading) “Soldier, Scientist” (body of text) “In a Battle that Could Save Thousands of Lives, Lt. Col. Robert Neville Takes on the XV Virus.”
Also, there’s banging in my house at the moment and when I say I’m peaking. I’m going to need to listen to some music while I write this.
Read on for a fun time! Spoilers ahoy!
Realism (the really relevant part. Yikes)
Okay, so what’s this fresh take on the apocalypse? Basically, this doctor cures cancer and it all goes to shit from there. I’m not 100% on the logistical jump from “destroying cancer cells” to “humans (and animals) becoming bloodthirsty mutants that burn in the sun” - for instance, this is just my sci-fi high-school biology and physics brain working here, cancer is basically a rogue cell that mutates other cells and destroys them in the process, yeah? So if the doctor, like she said, uses these cancer cells to work for the body and in the process “cures” cancer, wouldn’t the humans just... infect each other and the virus would kill the host if it went south? Given, that did happen in like 90% of cases as Will Smith explains, but where does the sunlight allergy come in? Is cancer afraid of UV? Confused, but I digress.
... Is that my queen, Missy, from Umbrella Academy? (Picture: A woman with blood leaking from her eyes, holding a child and shouting for help.)
The scene where they’re listening to the radio and the guy is like we’re “issuing a military quarantine of New York City” I’m like bitch you wish. Unrealistic. The USA currently (9/10/2020) has the highest cases of COVID-19 in the world (for future historians and poor school children, it’s at 7.68 MILLION cases, no statistic for recovered cases for some weird ass reason, and sadly, 212,000 deaths. For reference, here in Australia we’ve had as of today 27,206 cases, 24,807 recovered and 897 deaths. New Zealand, who went into hard lockdown, had as of today, 1,864 cases, 1,800 recovered, and 25 deaths, with a period where there were 0 new cases for several days.)
Though, with that in mind, everyone going outside and gathering in large crowds? Realistic.
The actual movie part
Praises time! Will Smith has a stockpile of food. Also, him getting Sam (the dog) to eat her vegetables like she’s a little kid? Cutest thing ever.
Stockpilesss. (Picture: Will Smith wearing an apron and preparing a meal in a kitchen chock full of food items, including things like Pringles and spaghetti sauce.)
Setting alarms on his watch for sunset? Brilliant, smart idea, fantastic. Re-enforced windows and door, AND booby-trapped house? Incredible, genius. Setting traps to catch the zomvamps? (like the dumb name I just came up with? Don’t worry, I’ll reveal the stupid arbitrary name they ACTUALLY came up with later) Talent, intelligence.
Dude, why wouldn’t you restrain the head/chest? You know, the part that can bite you? (Picture: Will Smith in a lab coat standing over a female zombie-vampire who’s been secured to a metal bench by the wrists and ankles. Medical monitors are connected to her.)
Now, Will Smith is out here looking for a cure. And by looking, I mean actively creating. In a lab. He washes his hands before going in - *chef’s kiss* follow his example - and unlike other zombie movies where it’s super dramatic in the hunt for a cure, this is a lot more chill considering it’s a) been 3 years and b) is more like how science actually works. Trials, tests, animal test-subjects (there is a debate about the ethics of this which I won’t go into here) (I mean a debate in real life not in the zombie movie haha) and human test-subjects.
“Did you kidnap my girlfriend, bro?” (Picture: bald, pale muscular dude-bro-looking zombie-vampire roaring in rage.)
The mother-fracking zombies
I have to say it: these are the most dumbass looking vampire-zombies. I say vampire-zombies (zomvamps) because they avoid sunlight but also eat people?
Now, unlike most zombie movies, these are really bloody intelligent zomvamps. At one point, after setting a booby trap and catching a zomvamp after stumbling into a nest of them, Robert says “They’re not showing any human social behaviour.” Hahahaha. Okay bitch first of all dude bro screamed when you kidnapped his mate, secondly dude bro has pet dogs, thirdly dude bro fucking caught you in a trap. He took revenge on you there, love. He followed you home!
The zomvamps are apex predators, can climb, run, hunt in packs, communicate with each other, set booby traps, make coordinated attacks, follow you home, learn where you live and remember it, and holy fuck humans had no chance.
Thank you for clarifying, because I actually found this quite funny. Like, look at him! (Picture: dude-bro zombie-vampire from earlier growling in front of a flaming car. The zombie-vampires are very CGI, pale, fish-person looking things with pale skin and completely bald of hair. This guy is wearing ripped clothes. The caption reads “Growls menacingly”.)
Random things I have in my notes but haven’t mentioned yet (yes I took notes)
What’s with the apocalypse and mannequins? Looking at you, Five (Umbrella Academy).
(Picture: Will Smith looking at a “female” mannequin, who is dressed in a coat and black bob wig. They’re in a movie store. Funnily enough, behind the mannequin is the “Adult” section of the films.)
I agree with the fuck-that-shit sentiment when you see a mannequin suddenly appear in a different part of the city - like how in the hell??
(Picture: Will Smith aiming a rifle at a mannequin in an orange jumper. Mannequin is usually located outside of the movie store, yet here it is randomly in the middle of the street at the end of a T-section. There are tall glass windows behind the mannequin, and the window to the right has a giant, gaping pitch black hole in it. It’s presumed that there is a nest of zombie-vampires in there.)
... so is this a booby trap for humans or for zomvamps? Because the former makes sense if that dude bro zomvamp analysed Will Smith’s trap from earlier and remade it (hence dropped the car off a bridge to string him up), and the latter doesn’t really make sense because a) you’ll only catch (and probably kill) one zomvamp and why would you want only one unless you’re Robert and two why tf aren’t you meeting up with Robert he’s been broadcasting and racing around town hunting deer (elk?) in a sports car.
I’d like to know how hard it actually is to do like a weird sit-up and get yourself free of one of these kinds of traps. Am I dumb for thinking it’s not that hard? (Picture: Will Smith is suspended in the air by a rope tied around his ankle, the result of a booby-trap. He’s struggling to free himself.)
Come on, you’re literally a doctor and a soldier. Don’t tell me you’re actually considering pulling that out? (Picture: Will Smith has been impaled in the leg by something. It looks like he’s about to attempt to pull it out. He’s in the middle of the street as the sun sets, and Sam is right next to him.)
Sam is a queen. Here are some photos of her.
(Picture: Robert Neville’s wife carrying a baby Sam - Sam is a puppy, by the way, and very adorable. Neville’s young daughter is walking out of the gate to their house behind her mother.)
(Picture: Will Smith in a flashback saying goodbye to his wife and daughter and crying. Sam is licking away his tears.)
Sometimes I hate foreshadowing. (Picture: Will Smith searching a house. He opens a cupboard and there’s a newspaper article with a picture of a zombie-vampire dog. The article reads “Infected dogs can come out at dusk. Stay in the light.” There’s a number to call for questions.)
Worst birthday ever. Now I’m sad and there’s still half the movie left.
(Picture: Will Smith sitting on the floor of his lab, hugging Sam, who’s just been bitten by infected dogs.)
Get Shrek’d.
(Picture: The ‘Shrek’ movie playing on the TV in Neville’s house.)
Ma’am, do you not know how to ration? That is such a waste of food. (Picture: the woman and kid who rescued Will Smith have cooked breakfast. She’s cooked way too many scrambled eggs for two adults and a kid, and all the of the bacon for literally no reason.)
Oh yeah, wanna know what they call the zombies in this movie?
Dark Seekers. They dropped that one on us well into the final half of the movie. Dark Seekers? Really? I won’t get into how dumb that sounds when you had two options to choose from - vampires and zombies. Hell, go with my suggestion of zomvamps, even vampzoms. Dark Seekers? Sorry, I get hung up on dumb zombie-alternative names. Sure, I get the atmosphere might be ruined by calling them vampires or zombies, but not even lying I didn’t realise she said “Dark Seekers” until I turned the CC on to grab a quote. I thought she said “Dog Keepers” hahahaha. “The dog keepers got them.” My defence is that the dude bro did keep dogs.
Finally, wrapping this up at 2:15 before I add in pictures, you’re telling me approximately 100 zomvamps made a coordinated attack on Will Smith’s house to eat... 3 people? That’s like me and a hundred mates descending on the pentagon for a fucking snickers bar. We’d get like an atom each.
Oh, what’s that? They’re here to rescue one person? Really? Really? How in the fuck are they even zombies if their primary purpose isn’t to eat humans. I’m disappointed. But points for a fresh take, at least.
Now one of the things I remember about this movie is that is has an alternate ending. The actual ending (huge spoilers but then again, you’re in the spoiler section) has Will Smith sacrifice himself (read: blow himself and the zomvamps up with a grenade) to defend the cure and save his new friends. The alternate ending, which was scrapped due to negative audience reaction, has Will Smith communicate with the zomvamps who like actually calm down and listen to him. He gives the dude bro back his friend, and... no one dies.
I’m sorry, how is an ending where, sure, a cure isn’t found YET, but, the “villains” of the movie are humanised and a new side of them is seen that shows, hey, maybe there’s another way through this apocalypse, better than an ending where Will Smith dies? Make it make sense test audience. Because, remember, there’s still a whole bunch of immune people living out here, and three of them are currently in the same room. Robert’s only been working on the cure for 3 years. How many years do you reckon it takes to cure cancer? Hint: it’s ongoing in real life. Just because the cure isn’t found in the movie doesn’t mean it won’t be found. Ughhhh. I digress again.
I have more random photos but I am very tired. If anyone’s interested in hearing me roast butterflies, the world not actually ending in 2012, and a missed pun about Until Dawn (even though it was made like ten years after this), and a quick analysis on Robert Neville and God, let me know :)
Have a great day everyone, wash your hands, social distance if possible, and quarantine. Just because the COVID-19 virus isn’t turning us into zombies doesn’t mean it isn’t hurting us.
Worldwide statistics, 9/10/2020: 36.2M total cases, 25.3M recovered, 1.06M deaths.
(Picture: Will Smith saying “I like ‘Shrek’ after just quoting an entire scene of it to win a kid’s trust.)
#zombie#movies#I Am Legend#Will Smith#vampires#zombies#Dark Seekers#quarantine#doggos#shrek#apocalypse#mannequins#The Umbrella Academy
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Witchy Woman
Sorry this is so late! I’m going to give it one last proofread/smoothing over tomorrow before I post it on ffnet and ao3, but here’s a preview. Happy late Halloween, hope y’all like it! 💜
Eleanor is Rusty’s sister--she’s a few weeks away from turning 3 here.
"Here, honey, use the spoon." Sharon placed Eleanor's discarded spoon back in her hand and guided it back into the child-sized pumpkin. She gave Sharon a disbelieving look, dropped her spoon again, and dug back into the pumpkin with both hands. "Honey, no--oh, my god." Sharon gave up when Marie followed suit and started scooping out the pumpkin with her hands. "Hold on, let's get your clothes off so you don't make such a mess." After stripping Eleanor down to her panties and Marie to her diaper, Sharon stood back and let them go nuts.
"Don't worry about it, Mom, we'll just throw them in the bath when we're done," Emily spoke up. "This is probably the fastest way."
"You sure are calm..." Sharon turned around. "Ah, I see why." She took a glass from Emily and sat in one of the porch chairs. Now, this was her idea of a Friday afternoon. When Emily and Emmett didn't have plans, Emily usually showed up with fourteen-month-old Marie soon after her nap, and Emmett would come over after work.
Emily sat in the chair beside Sharon's. "Do you like that? I thought it would be fun to make it for your Halloween party tomorrow night."
Sharon took a long sip from her glass. "That is good. What's in it?"
"Vodka, ginger ale, pineapple juice, and some other stuff." Emily took a sip of her drink. "What are you guys going to be?"
Sharon rolled her eyes. "Andy and Provenza lost a bet with their commanding officer, so she got to pick their costumes. Which also means mine by default."
Emily wrinkled her nose. "It's Emmett's turn to get his way with costumes this year, so we have to do the couples thing. It's so lame."
"Oh, I'm sure Andy was quick to throw me under the bus to avoid something really bad. We have to be Gomez and Morticia Addams, and Louie's Uncle Fester."
"Oh, my god, that's perfect for Provenza!"
"I think that might've been why she chose that for us. Patrice is out of town, but she probably just would've said 'no' if she were given a costume assignment, anyway. Are you guys taking Marie trick-or-treating?"
"Kind of," Emily answered. "We're going to dress her up and walk around the neighborhood with our friends, but we're not taking her to houses for candy or anything."
Sharon winced as Marie's pumpkin-glob-filled hand went over her face and through her hair. "This is tearing my nerves up."
"It was your idea," Emily retorted.
"I know...I just wish we could do it without the mess." Sharon looked up as Rusty stepped onto the back porch. "Hi, honey, did you get much studying done?"
"I wasn't studying, I was getting my outlines and everything ready to study," Rusty corrected her.
Emily rolled her eyes. "Oh good god. Nerdiness takes on a new dimension."
"The Friday before Halloween is the best day for the library," Rusty continued, ignoring Emily. "Our Halloween party was last night, and that's always the last hurrah before everyone starts to study for exams. There aren't usually many people there on Fridays since only the 1Ls have class, but even a lot of them skipped today. The library was like a ghost town."
"Wusty!" Eleanor exclaimed, reaching a pumpkin-covered hand toward him.
"Hey, Ellie girl!" Rusty kissed the top of her head. "That's all you're getting from me until you don't have pumpkin gunk all over you, sorry." He looked at Sharon. "I didn't think she'd be here yet."
"Your mom had some things to do before going out of town this weekend and asked me if she could drop her off early," Sharon explained.
"All done!" Eleanor announced.
Sharon handed Rusty the cat stencil Eleanor had picked out. "If you'll trace that onto the pumpkin, I'll carve it."
"Deal."
Once the pumpkin was carved, Sharon lit a small candle and placed it inside. Marie squealed and pointed to it. "Ca!"
"When did she start saying 'cat?'" Sharon asked.
"Earlier this week," Emily answered. "It seems like she's saying something new every day."
Andy came home as Sharon and Emily finished cleaning up the pumpkin mess from the porch and the kids. "You're home early," Sharon commented after she kissed him.
"Yeah, we didn't have much going on, and we're due for a case. Hernandez let us go early...I picked up our costumes," Andy grumbled. "I can't believe Provenza and I lost that bet."
"I can't believe you guys thought you could outwit your commanding officer, especially a woman," Sharon shot back.
Andy pulled their costumes out of the bag in his hand. His annoyed expression twisted into a grin as he held up Sharon's long, black, low-cut dress. "Huh, maybe this won't be so bad...I can't wait to see you in this."
Sharon reached for Andy's costume. "Yeah, mine's not bad, but this is terrible...” She tilted her head up and kissed Andy again. “But I think you can pull it off."
"Ew, you guys, there are kids out here," Rusty whined.
The next afternoon, with the house ready for the party, Sharon sat on the back porch with a glass of wine. Andy joined her soon after, in his ugly striped suit with a scowl on his face. Sharon moved over to make room for him in the chair beside her and couldn't help but laugh. "You laugh, you die," Andy muttered. "She couldn't have at least let me wear the plain black one."
"I think I'll take my chances." Sharon curled up against him, as the late afternoon was starting to get cool. Rusty came outside with Eleanor in his arms, and she struggled to get down. "What an adorable little kitty!" Sharon cooed as Eleanor climbed up in the chair with her and Andy. "I'll do your whiskers and nose after I do Andy's makeup in a little bit."
"What?! I never agreed to makeup!" Andy protested.
"You're going to need a little powder to make your face more pale."
Andy shook his head. "No way."
Sharon shrugged. "Well, if we're not going for realism, then I'll probably be more comfortable with a camisole under that dress. It's a little low-cut-"
"Okay, okay, do whatever you want to me," Andy quickly amended, leaning more closely to whisper in her ear. "Before and after the party."
"We'll see, Casanova."
A little while later, Sharon was dressed and putting the finishing touches on her makeup, humming along to her phone as she applied gray eye shadow and red lipstick.
She held me spellbound in the night Dancing shadows and firelight Crazy laughter in another room And she drove herself to madness with a silver spoon
Woo hoo, witchy woman See how high she flies Woo hoo, witchy woman She got the moon in her eye
Well, I know you want a lover Let me tell you, brother She's been sleeping in the devil's bed And there's some rumors going round, someone's underground
She can rock you in the night-time 'til your skin turns red...
"Tell me about it," Andy commented, nodding at Sharon's phone as he entered the dressing area right outside of their bathroom.
Sharon rolled her eyes and stood up. "Sit."
Andy gave her a suffering look as he sat down. "I can't believe I agreed to this." He eyed Sharon, liking how she looked in the fitted, low-cut black dress. “Seeing you in that is the only thing getting me through tonight.”
"Relax, Andy, it's Halloween!" Sharon got a makeup brush and held her hand under his chin while she brushed powder over his face. Andy started to stand up when she closed the clasp, but she placed her hand against his chest and nudged him back down. "Hold on, I'm not finished."
"Not finished?! What else—"
"Just a minute." Sharon dipped an eye shadow brush into one of her palates and lightly brushed it under his eyes. "Now, a little lipstick—"
"Absolutely not. I draw the line there." Andy put his hand between his legs for a moment. "Just making sure my penis is still there."
"Oh, it is, I can assure you." Sharon put her hands on Andy's cheeks and kissed him before applying the mustache that had come with the costume. "For the love of god, don't ever grow a mustache."
Andy turned to look in the mirror. "I don't know, I think I could pull this off! What do the kids call it, 'no-shave November?' Maybe I'll try it next month."
"If you participate in 'no-shave November,' then so am I," Sharon cautioned.
"Never mind," Andy said hastily. "I mean, not that you have to—not that I expect you to—" he sputtered.
"I know, honey, I'm kidding. You're so cute when you stick your foot in your mouth." Sharon scooped up Eleanor as she scampered in, wearing a black leotard and leggings. "All right, kitty cat, let's get you fixed up." She held Eleanor's face still as she carefully applied whiskers and blackened in the tip of her nose with her eyeliner pen. "Try not to touch your face for a few minutes, okay?" Sharon lowered Eleanor to the floor and walked toward the kitchen when she heard the alarm system beep a couple of times, meaning that a door had been opened. "I bet Marie's here!" The sound of little feet answered her before she was even in the kitchen. "Hey, my little pumpkin! Where's your costume?"
"It would've been a nightmare in her car seat," Emmett answered.
Sharon wrinkled her nose as she lifted Marie into her arms. "Ugh, she's ripe, all right."
"Yeah, she was working on that in the car." Emmett got the diaper bag and took Marie from Sharon. "Let's go get you changed."
"No!" Marie protested as Emmett carried her out of the room.
"She's getting such an attitude," Emily commented. "When did my favorite word stop being 'no?'"
Sharon rolled her eyes. "I'll let you know when we get there."
"Ha, ha." Emily got a couple of martini glasses out of a cabinet. "Witches' Brew?"
"Don't mind if I do."
Eleanor ran up to Emily to show off her costume. "Look, Emmy!"
Emily smiled and picked her up. "You are the cutest little kitty I've ever seen!" She put Eleanor down and went back to making their drinks. "I brought some dry ice to make them steam later. They'll go perfectly with your costume."
Emmett came back in with Marie dressed in her pumpkin costume, and she grinned and reached for Sharon, who happily took her from him. "Look at my sweet girl! You're adorable," she cooed.
Provenza arrived not much later, huffing and grumbling in his Uncle Fester costume. "I can't believe I have to do this. Flynn, I blame you entirely."
Andy rolled his eyes. "Of course you do."
Captain Hernandez wasn't far behind him with her sons, and she broke into a laugh when she saw Andy and Provenza. "This is even better than I thought."
"I'm glad someone's enjoying this," Provenza muttered.
"This could've all been avoided if you had just admitted I was right to begin with," Elisa reminded him.
"Ye gods, we will never live this down," Provenza grumbled.
"No, you won't," Andrea agreed, as she had just arrived. She snapped a photo of Andy and Provenza standing next to each other, looking equally disgruntled. "Perfect. I'm sure Elisa can find the perfect place to put this to remind you of your stupidity."
"Ahh, I like the way you think," Elisa replied. "I hadn't even thought of that."
"That's what I'm here for." Andrea looked around. "I heard something about Witches' Brew?"
Before long, the party was in full swing. It was an eclectic mix of personal and LAPD friends and some of their children. Sharon found herself watching Julio with the divorced daughter of one of her friends, and she didn't realize how obviously she was staring until Andrea appeared beside her. "Playing matchmaker?"
Sharon jumped. "What? No! I mean, they seemed to hit it off at our Labor Day party, so I didn't think it would hurt to give them another chance to meet."
"Uh-huh."
A little while later, Andy finished getting ready for bed and climbed in beside Sharon. She couldn't keep her eyes open and was falling asleep. "Nooooo, don't fall asleep! What happened to-"
"Mmm, Morticia's sleepy," Sharon murmured. "Rain check?"
"You drive a hard bargain, Morticia." Andy kissed her forehead and curled up beside her.
Early on Halloween evening, Sharon sat on the front porch with a few friends from her old neighborhood. Andy had been rolled out on Sunday and would probably be late getting home, so she'd invited them over for the evening.
"Halloween with no kids. The best kind," Janet commented.
"I know, right? Who needs more wine?" Sharon asked. When their children were growing up, they'd had a tradition of pizza and cocktails before taking their kids trick-or-treating as a group. They would always reconvene at Sharon's afterward to keep the party going, and one by one the dads would take their children home for bed. That was always another tradition--Halloween was theirs, and they were recreating it tonight.
The temperature dropped as the sun went down, so Sharon went inside for a thicker cardigan and another bottle of wine. They talked and listened to music on the front porch, passing out candy as trick-or-treaters steadily arrived. She watched as families walked around the neighborhood, some in groups, and some by themselves, but almost all with cups in their hands of beverages that were most likely of the alcoholic variety. Some things never change.
Sharon was surprised when Andy pulled into the driveway a couple of hours later. She wasn't expecting him home until late, if even at all. He went into the house from the garage, so she met him in the kitchen. "You're home early."
"Yeah, we wrapped the case." Andy looked through the refrigerator for something to warm up for dinner. He just wanted to go to bed after a long week, but he had something else on his mind first. "I was, uh, kind of hoping to phone in my rain check," he murmured, pressing his lips to her neck. He started to pull away from her, but an intoxicating scent drew him back. "New soap?" He could also smell her perfume, so it wasn't that.
"Yeah. Rosewater. You like it?"
"You have no idea..." Andy inhaled again, unable to pull himself away from her.
Sharon leaned back and gently pushed his face away from her. "They'll be gone soon, and then I'm all yours."
"I'm holding you to that." Andy went outside to say hello before getting dinner for himself. True to Sharon's word, her friends were gone soon, and he was quick to take advantage. He was waiting for her at the door as soon as he heard them leaving. "Trick or treat?" he mumbled into her neck.
Sharon took his hand and led him toward their bedroom. "Surprise me."
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prompt: your version of the jacuzzi scene in Vegas! : D
Ahaha what a prompt! I honestly have NO IDEA how on Earth that scene is going to happen; and I have a feeling it’s going to be a DISASTER. But here’s a hopeful take from a S x R ship perspective anyway. PG rated, but only because Sam’s in it (language):
“I still can’t believe your room has a hot tub.”
He shrugs, as the elevator climbs. “It’s not that great.”
“Oh, come on—”
“I’m serious. It’s… noisy. And Federico keeps coming in to, I don’t know, clean it and shit? It’s just a huge fuckin’ distraction—”
“From what? The show’s solid. And it’s not like you have lines to learn.”
He makes an irritable sort of noise. “I’m still working on other stuff, alright?”
“Really?”
“Really.”
Silence, filled by the rattle of moving cables. She pushes her luck. “Like… a new script?”
“Oh, God.” He sighs heavily, shaking his head. “No.”
The lift stops; her floor. “No, what?”
He leans against the door as she steps out, stopping it from closing on their conversation. “No, you can’t talk me into letting you read it.”
She rolls her eyes, putting her own shoulder to the corridor wall, dragging out their goodbye. “I didn’t even ask.”
“I know, I just…” He stops, sighing again, long suffering. “Fine.”
“What’s fine?”
“You can – you can look at it, alright? But I don’t want notes—”
“So, the point of me reading it would be..?”
“I don’t know! You’re the one who—”
“Look, Sam. If it’s not ready, it’s not ready. I can wait.”
He deflates slightly, folding his arms. “Hmm.”
“Or, you know, I could come up to enjoy the trappings of directorship and just happen to glance—”
“Jesus. Are you really so keen to get in that thing?”
“Yes!” she grins. “It’s like… the most Vegas thing imaginable.”
And tonight has been all about the Sin City experience. Playing blackjack and eating dinner together. His grey sweater and her dowdy knitwear carefully signalling their activity as casual and friendly, rather than anything remotely date-like.
Admittedly they might be sailing a little close to the wind, climbing into a hot tub together… But, Ruth tells her rising sense of unease, is there any better way to draw a line under any romance between them, than being perfectly at ease together in their swimwear?
“It’s a fucking white elephant,” he growls, but it’s the rumble of the defeated. “Alright, alright. Just – just give me five minutes to make the place presentable. Okay?”
“Okay.”
*
She gives him fifteen, covering her bathing suit with tonight’s clothes, finding a towel and a hair tie. And a pencil, she thinks, plucking one from her desk. In case he rescinds his ruling on notes.
Reality catches up with her in the elevator, ascending to his floor. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea. But chickening out now surely means there is something unspoken still between them…
He opens his door under her slightly tentative knock. “Hey. Uh.” He coughs, clearly a little nervous himself. “Your, um, your Vegas experience continues.” He indicates his room beyond with his arm.
“Thank you.”
She steps over the threshold. He has a point she can immediately see. The room is too small, really, for the tub and the four-poster bed inside. There isn’t anywhere to put her clothes other than on his sheets or the back of his desk chair. He’s turned on all the lamps, but it’s still hotel-dim without Las Vegas sunlight streaming through the windows.
She takes a deep breath, squaring her shoulders. Determined to see a non-awkward version of this scene through.
“Do you want a drink?” he asks. “Cos I was probably going to have a drink.”
She shakes her head. “No, thanks.”
“Right.”
He turns to pour himself a scotch and she uses the break in his focus as an opportunity to strip down quickly. Doesn’t risk looking at him again until she is seated in the hot tub, where she finds him minutely examining his whiskey.
He must feel the weight of her gaze, glancing up to meet her eyes from across the room.
“Do you want me to—?”
“I wasn’t sure if—"
They stutter to a mutual halt. “You first,” he says, taking a sip of the liquid courage she now wishes she’d accepted.
“Um, do you want to…?” She baulks at the words join me in here, waving a hand at the frothing water as if that can convey what she means instead. He just looks at her blankly from Planet Idiot, so she tries again. “I mean, it feels a little awkward if you’re just standing over there.”
“Oh. Fuck. Uh. I just wasn’t sure if—” He grimaces. “Gimme a second.”
She definitely should have accepted the drink. If nothing else, it would be something to occupy her hands and eyes while he clatters about in his bathroom. Presumably stripping down to his own bathing suit—
How, she wonders, did she ever conceive of a reality where this wasn’t the most awkward moment, even in her long personal history of embarrassing situations?
She pretends to be watching the bubbling water when he eventually lumbers out. He drains the rest of his scotch in one fluid motion, slamming the glass down slightly harder than necessary, and comes over to join her. Even in her peripheral vision she can still see too much of him. All that’s usually hidden under old-fashioned jeans and faded shirts. Broad shoulders and biceps; a dusting of salt-and-pepper hair—
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“I told you it wasn’t that great.”
Now he’s safely in the water, bubbling up to his mid chest, she risks looking at him again. “You don’t take off your glasses?”
His face pinches behind those aviator frames. “I like being able to fucking see.”
“Don’t they steam up?”
“No.”
“Oh.”
He sits back in the intervening silence, stretching out, hooking his arms over the edge of the tub. “So, have you decided what you’re doing with your winnings yet?”
“No,” she admits. Starting to relax back herself now, her feet find the edge of one of the jets in the floor. “Maybe I should invest them in the show,” she continues coyly.
“Maybe.” His pulse, beating his throat, is all she can look at as he stares up at the ceiling in thought. “I mean, it’s going better than I thought it would with ticket sales. I guess I’m hoping…” He trails off with a sigh, realising he’s about to say something he shouldn’t.
“Hoping for what?”
Brown eyes find blue, flinty and dark. Deciding how far, she thinks, he can trust her. “Hoping I might be able to get enough of a stake together to make another movie.”
“The one you’re writing?”
“Ugh. I don’t fuckin’ know, Ruth…”
“You really don’t want any notes?”
He shakes his head. “It’s not ready.”
“Well. We could at least talk through the storyline—?”
“That’s not how I—” he starts to snap, but stops himself almost in time. “I don’t usually work that way,” he tries instead. “You know. Collaboratively.”
“Yes, you do.”
“Oh, this isn’t the same—”
“Why not?”
“Because! It’s just different,” he huffs. The roar of the jets is the only sound for a beat. “What, you think you could work with me? Outside of wrestling, outside of this… crazy fucking thing we’ve gotten ourselves into?”
“I like working with you.” She sounds too earnest, even to her own ears. “You know, when you’re actually working and not just self-destructing.”
“Hmm. Same.”
“Oh, ha-ha.”
“No, no, I do. It’s a… big fuckin’ surprise to me too. But… I do.”
Her mouth is suddenly very dry.
“I, uh… I like hanging out too,” he continues, more hesitant. “This. This has been fun.”
“Yeah,” she creaks. “I—um—”
And it’s time to leave, she thinks. Whatever her stupid plan was about coming here and making everything straightforward has boiled away. Her leg spasms, involuntary, and under the water her foot brushes against his. The contact seems to send her heart into her mouth.
“Ruth?” His voice is similarly thick.
“Uh-huh?”
“Why did you come here tonight?”
For a long moment the only sound is the water bubbling. “I don’t know. I think I was… trying to figure out what it is that I want.”
“And what do you want Ruth?”
“I don’t want to ruin what we have.”
“And what’s that?”
He can never make it easy for her. For either of them. She twitches her foot away from his.
“Friendship. Working together. Hanging out. Look, I know there’s an… attraction sometimes. But, really, how long do you think we could make that work? And then we’d lose everything. And I don’t think either of us has enough going on right now to want that…”
There’s a word for the look on his face, and it’s not one she thought could ever apply to Sam. He’s a terrible actor. A dreadful poker player. Everything is always right on the surface. And right now, in this moment, the only word she can think of that describes his expression adequately is heartbroken.
“I’m sorry,” she hears herself say. She really didn’t come here to hurt him. And a question occurs, one that she’s never really considered before. “What is it that you want?”
“Oh, you know. Friendship. Working together. Hanging out.” He sighs. “To be annoyed by you every goddamn second you’re around, and never understand why I miss that when you’re not. I wanna… be around someone who makes me into an okay kind of person. At least, you know, some of the time.”
She realises she’s holding her breath. “Woah.” Not the right word at all, but what could be?
“I want to make things with you,” he continues. “You know. Collaborate.” The word still sounds like it’s a bad taste in his mouth. “Even though you try way too hard all the time. I want to—fuck.” He chuckles to himself, darkly amused at what he’s about to say: “I wanted to be Hitch and Alma. I wanted to fool myself that I could ever be remotely capable of something like that. But you’re right. You’re right. I’m not… We’re not.”
The universe is flapping loose. “Hitch and Alma?” she hears someone say. She realises that it’s her. “You remember that?”
“Obviously.”
“I didn’t think you were really listening.”
“I’m always listening. Sometimes it just takes a while to process. Through the breathless enthusiasm.”
She laughs. “Hmm, same. But through the deep, deep cynicism.”
He tilts his head to one side. “Realism.”
“Pessimism.”
“Talk to me in twenty years, that’s all I’m saying.” He considers this. “Through a Ouija board, probably.”
“Sam! Proving my point much?”
“Sometimes I can’t help myself.” He sniffs. “I’m gonna get another drink. You want one?”
“No. I should… I should probably go.”
“Yeah,” he agrees, finding his feet and holding out a hand to help her up. “Probably.”
She takes his hand, and finds herself standing far too close to him. Wet and half-naked; the heavy weight of their confession in her chest making it hard to breathe.
“Ruth?”
“Mm-hm?” It’s a mistake to look up at him. His glasses are starting to fog, like she knew they must.
“Are we okay?”
She nods. “We’re okay. Yeah.”
She can’t kiss him. She won’t kiss him.
She wants to kiss him.
Instead, she presses her lips to his whiskery cheek. “I think we’re good,” she says, next to his ear. “I’m glad we talked.”
“Yeah. I mean, can’t pretend it wouldn’t have been interesting…”
“Definitely interesting,” she breathes, and she can feel him shiver involuntarily. Her hand is still in his. They seem to be stuck, cheek to cheek.
“Ruth?” This time her name is whisper quiet.
And she likes the way it feels, when he says her name. Likes how his nose bumps across her face as he draws back from her. She remembers him looking at her like this once before; the same hammering fear in her chest.
Only this time he doesn’t close his eyes, doesn’t move to kiss her. She could let go of his hand now and just walk away. The stage is set, the pieces all laid out. They can be Sam and Ruth, co-directors, friends. Forever.
And nothing more.
“Oh, God,” she says, with feeling.
His face asks the question before his mouth can move, frown beetling his eyebrows, moustache quirking as his mouth twists.
But what? he doesn’t get to say, because she’s kissing him like the world ends when she stops.
Maybe it does. Maybe it doesn’t. This is Vegas, after all. Sometimes you just have to roll the dice…
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Boy With a Haunted Past (part 1)
(Formerly known as "Haunted Mansion" when I posted it last year for Hannictober. Takes place in the early 1990s in some *vague hand waving* Southern high school. Brief homophobic interaction. Will is 16, Hannibal is 17.)
Hannibal Lecter was beautiful. He had skin like poets would write about, and a mouth that looked like it would be good at sharing secrets. He was the exchange student from Lithuania, and a grade ahead of Will even though they had two classes together. He was practically a man, really. Will had started to notice just the slightest hint of stubble on Hannibal’s chin by the end of fifth period. It was just plain mesmerizing.
Sometimes, Will was pretty sure Hannibal liked him. As in, liked him. His dark amber gaze always seemed to find its way across the chemistry lab to where Will was running his experiments. But then other times…other times, he thought he might be projecting just because he wanted it so badly.
“Most boys aren’t like you,” his dad had told him. “Most boys like girls. So just… just be careful about who you go confessin’ your love to, around here.”
So Will was determined to keep it to himself unless Hannibal made the first move. He got his chance late in October at the start of lab one day.
“I would like your opinion,” Hannibal said, sliding onto the stool beside him. “What do you think about that big haunted mansion thing they’ve been advertising on the radio?”
“Oh it sounds totally ridiculous,” Will said. “Imagine people paying ten bucks to go get scared by something that’s probably not even a little bit scary. Pssht.”
Hannibal smiled at him. “Does that mean you wouldn’t want to go with me?”
Will almost dropped a beaker of hydrogen peroxide. “Yes! I mean no. I mean no, it doesn’t mean I don’t want to go with you. I’ll go with you. I…yes. Yes, I want to go. With you.”
Hannibal’s smile widened, showing the perfectly imperfect points of his teeth. “I’ll meet you there at 8, then.”
Will debated with himself over whether he should show up right on time, or just a little bit late so he didn’t look too eager. In the end, he was almost ten minutes early.
Much to his relief (and joy), Hannibal was already there, too, holding a place for him in line.
“Hey,” he said, brilliantly.
Hannibal scooted over to make room for him. “I told myself I was going to be too early, but I couldn’t wait to get here.”
“Me, too,” Will said. Before he could stop himself, he blurted out, “I didn’t even finish my dinner!”
Hannibal looked surprised. And gorgeous. He hadn’t shaved, so the stubble on his chin was even darker than it had been at fifth period, and his hair was loose and soft instead of slicked back like it usually was. He’d traded in his usual blazer and button-up for an intricately cabled sweater in deep red, and dark gray corduroy pants that would have looked ridiculous on anybody else. Will was pretty sure Hannibal could make a clown costume look smooth, though. He was also pretty sure he was staring at Hannibal’s pants.
“Maybe we can get a pizza after this,” Hannibal said.
Will stuck his hands in his jeans pockets, fingering the ten dollar bill his dad have given him for the ticket. “Um…”
“My treat,” Hannibal said. “I’m of the opinion that the one who does the asking out should be the one who pays.”
Will’s head swam. Asking out. He’s asking me out. HE ASKED ME OUT. “Sounds fair,” he said, just managing to keep a squeak out of his voice.
“Hey, it’s that foreigner,” a voice said behind them. “And look, he’s here with Geeky Graham. Like two weirdo peas in a pod.”
Will struggled to keep from curling his hands into fists. “Hello, Matthew,” he said. “And look, you’re here with Frederick. What a surprise.”
The two seniors approached–Matthew Brown like a shark and Frederick Chilton stuck to him like a remora waiting for scraps. They tried to edge into line ahead of them.
“No cuts,” Will said, sticking his foot out to block them.
“Aw come on,” Matthew said in an exaggerated whine. “I promise not to tell anyone I saw you here together.”
Frederick tittered into his hand.
“Why ever should we care?” Hannibal asked, seeming genuinely confused. “It’s only the truth. We are here together, just as you two are here together.”
Matthew’s cheeks flushed blotchy and red. “Yeah, but we’re not queer like you!”
Frederick laughed and nudged Matthew. “My father says everyone in Europe is gay.”
“Yes, I recall seeing him at the last meeting,” Hannibal said coolly.
Will’s jaw dropped.
A scowl replaced Frederick’s laughter as he dragged away Matthew, who could be heard asking, “What the fuck does that mean? I don’t get it?”
Hannibal leaned closer to him. “Want to give them something to really talk about?” he asked, his breath warm against the side of Will’s face.
“Um, sure,” Will said.
An instant later, he felt Hannibal’s hand slide down his back and come to a rest at his waist. There it stayed, where Will could feel it burning through his denim jacket and sweatshirt, and he promptly forgot everything his father had ever said about “being careful.”
Customers were allowed into the “haunted mansion” in groups of two to five people with a couple minutes between each group. Will was so relieved he and Hannibal were allowed in as a pair that he almost pumped his fist. Only the overriding desire to maintain some pretense of cool kept him from doing it.
Entering the foyer, they were plunged into total darkness, and silence except for the distant sound of other visitors in the rooms ahead of them. Then, to Will’s complete and utter horror, his stomach grumbled audibly.
So much for seeming cool.
“Clever of you to bring your own sound effects,” Hannibal said.
“Yeah, well, I like to come prepared,” Will said, forcing a laugh.
A dim light flickered on overhead, giving off cold and intermittent illumination. Cobwebs draped the rusty fixture and the chain leading up to the ceiling. Black, gooey-looking paint streaked the walls, spelling out warnings like, “TURN BACK” and “YOU’LL DIE ALONE.”
“Quite atmospheric,” Hannibal whispered beside him.
The door ahead of them swung open with a squeal of its creaky hinges, drawing them into the next room.
This was a formal dining room, lit by a sputtering chandelier and draped in more of the spider webbing. Beneath that, a long table had been piled high with bloody human skulls and glossy pink entrails. A mannequin slumped over the table, dressed as if for a party.
“It looks kinda real,” Will admitted.
Hannibal sniffed. “Even smells rather realistic.”
Will took a step toward the table for a closer look, but the mannequin suddenly jolted upright. “Stay away!” it shrieked through hidden speakers. “Stay away or die!”
Will jumped back. “Gah!”
Hannibal held out a steadying arm just as he tripped over his own feet.
“Just so you know,” Will said, “I decided to show up tonight in my ‘total loser’ costume.”
“I’m sorry to tell you I find it very unconvincing,” Hannibal said. “Nothing about you reminds me of a loser.”
Will risked a glance upward to find Hannibal winking at him. He was especially charmed that Hannibal was kind of terrible at winking, partially blinking the other eye in unison.
As they followed a roped-off walkway away from the scene, Will heard an infant crying in the next room.
“Who the hell brings a baby in a place like this?” he wondered out loud.
“A terribly rude person at best,” Hannibal said.
They got their answer in the next room, which had been made to look like a cross between a bedroom and a surgery. A tray of tools and dirty rags had been strewn across the floor. A female figure had been arranged on the bed in a tattered white nightgown, her belly sliced open and empty. The way the flesh had peeled away from the wound made it look like something or someone had crawled out of it. A trail of blood led to the closet door, disappearing under it.
The baby cried again…from inside the closet.
Will swallowed hard. “Are–are we supposed to open it?”
“Only one way to find out,” Hannibal said.
He stepped back, letting Hannibal do the honors. He chastised himself for feeling so nervous. It wasn’t like an actual monster baby was going to explode out at them…right?
Hannibal slowly twisted the knob and let the door swing open.
Will burst out laughing and laughed until tears came to his eyes. The thing inside was a total letdown after the relative realism of the scene leading up to it. It was so blatantly a cheap plastic doll from, like, the K-Mart down the street or something, covered in red paint. It clung to the back closet wall, taped in place, with a length of its mother’s “intestines” dangling from its open mouth like a deflated balloon animal. A small radio continued to play recorded crying noises, but it sounded so fake and tinny with the door open.
“That is so lame,” he said when he’d recovered the ability to talk. “Right, Hannibal?”
“I want to leave,” Hannibal said, his voice quiet. “If you don’t mind.”
Will glanced over at him, saw him pale and stricken, his chin trembling just a little.
“Hey, are you okay?” Will asked.
Hannibal grabbed his hand and looked at him with pleading eyes. “Can we just leave?”
“Of course,” Will said, giving Hannibal’s hand a reassuring squeeze. He flashed him a bright smile. “I was getting hungry anyway, remember?”
On their way out, Will saw Frederick and Matthew just about to take their turn in the house. When Matthew glared at him, Will realized he was still holding hands with Hannibal.
He also realized he didn’t care.
Whatever had made Hannibal want to leave the “haunted mansion” so suddenly, he didn’t say and Will didn’t feel right asking. And anyway, he seemed like he was back to his regular smooth self as soon as they got back outside.
Will was both thrilled and horrified when Hannibal led him four blocks east to an actual sit-down Italian restaurant with cloth napkins and Chianti-bottle candles on the table. It was totally a date place, and the nicest restaurant he’d ever seen from the inside. He immediately felt out of place.
It must have shown, because Hannibal leaned across the table and gave him a smile. “Remember, it’s my treat, so order anything you want.”
Will thought of half a dozen appropriate things to say, but instead his mouth completely betrayed his brain: “My dad says this is the place people take their dates when they want them to put out!”
Hannibal’s eyes widened and his mouth fell open. He had been reaching for a complimentary bread stick, but now his hand paused in midair.
“Not that I’m saying you’re like that,” Will hurried to say. “Or that this..um…outing…is like that. I mean, I just… It’s just… Oh God I’m so sorry! I just can’t shut up!”
Hannibal’s look of shock gave way to laughter. “You know, I was worried I would be the only nervous one tonight.”
Will gawped at him. “What? You haven’t seemed nervous at all!”
“I hid it behind my very well-tailored veil of European coolness,” Hannibal said.
“You hid it a little too well,” Will snorted. “I mean, come on.”
“I changed outfits four times,” Hannibal said. “Even my socks. I was worried you wouldn’t like my socks. Convinced now?”
Will’s face was suddenly feverishly hot. He was sure he was blushing redder than a stop sign. He had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from grinning like an even bigger idiot than he already was.
“I’m sure your socks are fine,” he said.
“Well, play your cards right and you might get to see them,” Hannibal said, and gave him another terrible wink.
Will let out a laugh so loud and unrefined that half the restaurant turned to scowl at him.
“Now, hurry up and pick something to eat,” Hannibal said. “I’m starving.”
As Will turned his attention towards the menu, he caught a glimpse at the window. Matthew Brown was standing on the sidewalk just outside, glaring back at him through the glass. Will had never seen him angrier, and that was saying something.
(to be continued)
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i can’t believe i played myself like this
y’all: doing memes because people asked
me: doing a meme b/c i wanted to answer all of the questions anyway. if you don’t want to read them it’s all g! i took out any with spoilers, even though most of you know them already;;
1. A little-known talent of your OC?
Si-Hoo is a talented ballroom dancer!
2. What trait does your OC like best about themself? (Eyes, guitar skills, random bird facts, etc)
He really likes his looks and sense of humor. He’s a pretty vain kid, though, so this list is probably waaaay longer.
3. How many pillows does your OC sleep with?
One, but it’s one of those really expensive memory foam cooling gel ones that’s catered toward the style that you sleep. Bougie motherfucker.
4. Is your OC good at keeping secrets?
Yeah, very! He’s locked up tightly when it comes to secrets, but whether or not he’s trustworthy is a whole different beast.
5. Your OC's worst habit?
While it isn’t usually on purpose, Si-Hoo clenches his hands into fists and can occasionally draw blood, so his palms are covered in little scars. He does it automatically, at this point, though.
6. Does your OC prefer tennis shoes/sneakers or flip flops?
Ooh... neither, honestly? if he had to pick he’d pick sneakers, but he prefers dress shoes above all else- unless he’s going barefoot.
7. What is your OC's opinion on body modifications?
well,
8. Your OC is given a full-ride scholarship to any college they could want to go to. Where do they go and what do they major in?
a really, really expensive one. and he’d major in some sort of writing, or maybe history! or criminal psychology. it’s a good thing he’s not going to college because he has no idea. (same.)
9. What chore does your OC hate the most?
uhh.. he actually doesn’t mind most chores, but he doesn’t like washing dishes by hand! he much prefers dishwashers.
10. Would your OC prefer to live in the city, the suburbs, or the country?
the city! he loves cityscapes- the only places he’s lived are seoul and tokyo, after all- he’s a cityslicker who wouldn’t last five minutes in the countryside.
11. Is your OC a blanket hog?
oh, not at all! he’s good to share a bed with because he’ll let you have all the blankets.
12. Would your OC play by the rules in a fight or take cheap shots?
he’d play by.... Queensbury Rules.
13. Does your OC have a widow 's peak?
nope!
14. Happy birthday! What kind of present would your OC want?
shockingly, si-hoo likes books! specifically poetry- he’s a fan of neruda, because he’s basic, but he’ll take anything. if not poetry, however, his number two is snack food, of the cherry-flavored variety.
15. Something that grosses your OC out?
not very much, honestly! he doesn’t like when people are extremely double-jointed, though.
16. Your OC is suddenly on an adventure! Where do they go and what do they do?
si-hoo would really like to see europe! he’s kind of, again, basic, but he’d like to go to london (because he probably has 10,000 conspiracy theories about jack the ripper, yeah.)
17. Is there a real person that looks like your OC?
u,h,,, i mean, he has a faceclaim: cha hak-yeon (aka: vixx’s n). while, obviously, my oc doesn’t look Exactly Like This K-Pop Star (TM), i can’t draw realism so this is the best example of what he looks like that isn’t anime.
18. Something that makes your OC laugh without fail?
he likes stand-up comedy. basically, any jokes that take a lot of buildup, or that are said with utmost sincerity. that, and gallows humor.
22. Does your OC get frustrated when people forget to close the door behind themselves?
not really! he’s pretty easygoing about it, but you won’t catch him getting up to close it. he’ll just sit there, doing whatever he was in the first place, with the door wide open.
23. What is your OC's first memory?
playing with hyun-sik in the garden and meeting their parents’ friends’ son. wow. i wonder WHAT the SIGNIFICANCE of this MOMENT could BE.
24. Something you like that your OC would hate?
i like chocolate and coffee- neither of which si-hoo is really fond of!
25. Your OC is going into battle/on a mission! What song is their anthem?
i think it’d be this!
26. Does your OC have good or bad posture?
si-hoo has excellent posture! like, just, really good. no back pain in THIS house.
28. Is your OC a conspiracy theorist?
absolutely! it’s unknown just how seriously he takes them, but he does love a good conspiracy.
29. Someone does something awful in front of your OC. How do they handle it?
hmmm... that depends on what it is, but typically, si-hoo’s WAY too easygoing about it.
30. What is your OC's favorite drink?
si-hoo likes cherry cola and raspberry tea! (and the juice that maraschino cherries come in)
31. Does your OC prefer to sleep in a warm or cool area?
it doesn’t really matter to him- though if he had to pick, probably cool!
32. Would your OC like you if they met you?
lololol. no.
33. A song that reminds you of your OC?
this one- i’ve used it on a mix or two, actually!
34. Is your OC a nail biter?
no!
35. What is your OC's favorite quote?
anything edgy and murder-related, honestly.
36. Your OC's favorite fashion era? (20's, 70's, etc)
si-hoo likes current fashion, mostly- though he does have a fondness for 20′s fashion!
37. Does your OC get excited when they get mail?
he LOVES snail mail. writes a lot of letters himself, actually. anything with nice handwriting he actually keeps!
38. Random thunderstorm! How does your OC react?
he takes a nap..
39. A strange talent of your OC?
si-hoo’s pretty good with accents!
40. Assuming your OC doesn't have them already, what superpower would they want? If they do already, would they change it, keep it, or get rid of it?
he’d like to be able to read minds!
41. Does your OC like/make puns?
yeah. yeah. what a nightmare.
42. What kind of shampoo does your OC use?
expensive, fancy man shampoo. it smells herbal and a little like cologne and probably costs WAY too much.
43. Your OC wakes up with a coin super glued to their forehead. How do they react?
he doesn’t notice for a long time- but then he spends literal hours taking it off and fixing the surrounding skin. he probably cries.
44. Can your OC sleep if there's any kind of light?
yeah! he’s used to city-lights, and sleeps with the window open anyway.
45. What kind of self-esteem does your OC have?
good god. TOO high.
46. A word that your OC can't stand?
succulent.
47. Does your OC fold their clothes, hang them up, or just leave them in the basket/dryer?
he folds everything perfectly, like those people who work at expensive clothing stores and fold everything picture-perfect.
49. Your OC's most prized possession?
there’s two: his regalia, which i’ll talk about later, and his notebook(s).
50. What is your OC's happy place?
ideally, his apartment, with a cup of tea, writing, with the window open. it’s raining and smells like rain, but it’s not loud, and he can still hear the sound of the city. it’s midnight.
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Self Rec tag
“When you get tagged with this, reblog with your five or so favorite pieces and then tag five other artists”
Tagged by @ladywiltshire
I Will tag: @phantastus, @calangkoh, @nerieners, @haleyfandom19 and @holioc
Alright…here we go then.
1. “A Mother and her Cub”
Spring 2015, oil pastel. This was a project for my junior year art class where we had to take an image from a magazine and recreate it with oil pastels. I chose and image of a mother lion and her cub from a national geographic magizine which sadly I do not have for comparison. I’m really proud of how this turned out because it was one of my first attempts at true realism. The biggest challenge was getting the fur texture right, which I ended up using a scraper and my own nails for. You can’t tell from the resolution, but it ended up effecting the image a lot and I’m really proud of how it turned out.
2. Spring Rain
Spring 2016, water color and inking pen. This was something I did over spring break last year and is one that naver fails to cheer me up. It depicts two ocs of mine from a comic I was working on but is currently on indefinet hiatus called Game Kight. They hadn’t made it inot the series but they were planned to have a large role as the local vegitable and herb vendors and friends of the main character. They were a pair of brothers and are probably some of my favorite OC of mine. Also, yes, they are the ones currently featured in my icon.
3. Birds of a feather
Fall 2015, digital sketchbook express
Another project from my art class (where we were supposed to draw anthropormorphic animals) and my only piece to ever win an award. It wasthe first good peice I created with the program after i got it and it has been my main digital art medium ever since. The strange thing about this peice is that it was the only piece of mine that was accepted to the state competition when I had submitted other, objectively much better (yet not ones I actually like) pieces like this:
*shrugs* Go figure.
4. Plea of the Philosopher’s Stone
Summer 2016, scetchbook express. Sooo….yeah. Explainations are probably needed for this…so this was based on a conversation/pseudo RP I had with @kidsnextdoormoonbase824c of a fullmetal alchemist and steven universe crossover where the gems created a philosopher’s stone that could take on a light form like a gem…and it begged Ed to end its life…yeah it was a dark discussion. If it makes anyone feel any better, Philo (as she was dubbed) was not infact, shattered, and Ed helped her escape. Anyways, this was the first peice that I literally pulled an all nighter on to finish so I have a lot of sentimental attachment to it. Also, i’m really proud of how the folds in the fabric turned out.
5. Alchemy Lessons
February 2017, Sketchbook express. Probably my favorite piece of my big brother william au that I’ve posted so far. I have a lot that are much better than this, but I feel this one really captures the emotion of the whole au. The brothers having someone there for them to guid them, WIlliam/envy being happy and having a purpose in life, and just the over all theme of family. This was the piece I wanted to do since I first started thinking about this au and its one of the ones I’ve spent the most time on for it. In total it took me five hours to complete. I re drew the characters over and over until I was 100% satisfied. I ended up listening to the whole 2003 sound track several times (plus “With love, vincent” once or twice), particularly “brothers”. This is actually the image that comes to mind now when I hear that song. My only regret with this piece is it’s not quite as whimsical as It was in my head, and maybe one day when I have the time and talant, I can make it so.
6. Babysitting
Spring 2017, sketchbook express.
I know this is more than five, but I don’t care. This was another one I put a lot of time and effort into. Actually, I did ligitimate research for this one to try and find fitting traditional cloathing for the girls. Their clothing is one of the things I’m probably the prdest of with this peice. I spent a lot of time creating patterns and designs for them as well as picking colors that would suit them. I’m also really proud of how the shadows turned out. This is probably my favorite piece for my guard dog au.
There is only one other piece that I’m more proud of than these, but I can’t show it here because I haven’t posted it yet. It’s a very big project that took me a full week to complete. It’s current working title is “Sunshine” and although it is tecnically complete (I still have a few things to tweek with it) I can’t post it until FMA au week in july. For now, all I can share is this preview I posted earlier:
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🌠 💁 🌟 🌻 ☁️ 💥 😊 🎤 🎨 🍋 😔 😌 💭 💫 🎀 🍦
🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?
i would make it would be illegal to not have money equally distributed so better things can be produced from large sums of money- id also make reality tv illegal xD (probs with the exception of aussie big brother- if it ever comes back)
💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?
depends who but usually yeah, i really cant stand rude people
🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)
my teeth (trying really hard not to lose them young 😬) my sense of humour and my selflessness
🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change?gay marriage would legal everywhere, clothes shopping wouldnt be as hard and russia would let me steal kate whenever i want xD
☁️ talk about your dream universe.idk anything with kate i guess 😂
💥 what are some unpopular opinions that you have?
cherry flavoured candy is fucking disgusting- and i guess my tendecies towards realism can annoy people xD
😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?
i like singing, dancing, drawing, watching youtube, talking to kate xD
🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?
i dont remember cause i sang a little yesterday when i was bored but cant remember the specific songs
🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?
swirly lines or flowers
🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?
that is a rhetorical question I AM THE EMOTION
😔 what do you always do when you feel sad? does it help?
watch the vlogging channels im subbed to- always calms me down, especially during panic attacks
😌 what thoughts keep you going when you’re sad?
kate and i will meet one day and it shall be GLORIOUS
💭 do you keep a diary?
i do have one but i havent written anything in probably about a year
💫 who inspires you?
the DAAS boys are really great role models- especially Tim, that doesn't mean superiority cause up until we found DAAS it was Pauls turn for a good decade xD
🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?
does it fit? does it make look thinner? does it cover the melons? is it (usually) black? does it cost less then $10? if yes, then buy it 🤣
🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?
meeting my dog as a puppy, she was a tiny little puppy fat ball of fluff with floopy ears bigger then her body 😂
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FAQ#1
1. What can you see that is blue besides your tumblr dashboard? My pajamas
2. What have you eaten today? Chicken strips
3. What is your favorite food? Chocolate
4. What is your favorite color? Pastel pink
5. What is your least favorite color? Desaturated yellow (my laptop shows it instead of normal yellow and ughhhhh)
6. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant? I smooched my dog on the forehead. Of course it was
7. What color shoes did you last wear?
Black
8. What is your biggest vice? I pirate stuff? But tbh, there are some people out there who I hold grudges against and am unable to let go no matter how hard I try, so that’s that.
9. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week? My classmate
10. What is your favorite scent? Nothing too specific, mostly sweet/fresh/fruity smells. I do like the Body Shop Noir cologne tho
11. What is your occupation? Do you enjoy it? Still a student. I’m struggling quite a bit right now, but I love my friends and teachers :3
12. What is your favorite season? Why? Winter- I like cold, snow and ice, egg nog and the notion of reading next to the fireplace
13. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel? Nope 😅
14. What color are your nails? I don’t do manicure so just regular skin color
15. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be? A heart( Marina and The Diamonds style)
16. Describe your bedroom. Huge clutter - action figures, unfinished art, plushies, books and pajamas. White renaissance style furniture with pink bed sheets
17. What is something you find romantic? Poetry. I consider myself more of a logical person but actually find the traditional, cheesy romance endearing 💕
18. On average, how many hours per day do you spend on your computer? 10 or so. My school curriculum is online as well, so that kind of adds time
19. Are you happy? Not entirely at the moment, but it’s gonna get better
20. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad? My family dynamics are pretty intense - I’m not really meeting my parents’ expectations
21. Dogs or Cats? Both are great, but I own a wonderful pup!
22. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library? Forest. Forests are both beautiful, peaceful and extremely interesting
23. What is your style? Art style is somewhere between comic and realism at the moment, still working on it. Clothing style is mainly cute and cozy OR leather and spikes. Both are good too
24. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be? Drawing
25. Who is the closest person to you? Mom/brother, I guess. Hard to answer
26. What is the best movie you have ever seen? I liked Silence of the Lambs, Zootopia and Deadpool (a few more but you probably get the idea)
27. Are you in a relationship or single? Single
28. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now? I don’t actually like anyone right now, but I find myself liking shy people
29. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with? I am not exactly close with anyone but I don’t feel it would be fair to someone I’d be truly close with. Otherwise, I really like Jenny Lawson as a person :)
30. What is something most people don't know about you? Even though I massively overshare, my most childish and normal interests are the ones I can’t share with people, I may be talkative but trust is hard
31. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? The grudge above, I’m working on it
32. How did you celebrate last Halloween? Went trick or treating with my brother, dressed up as a Team Rocket grunt( met an awesome 90’s Shredder)
33. Have you recently made any big decisions? Yes, although I cannot disclose them here. They will likely affect my life quite a bit
34. Name three things that you and the person asking you this question have in common. Eh
35. Were you ever in a school play? Yep, several
36. What movie would you use to describe your life? Don’t know,really
37. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven't you done it? It’s physically impossible
38. Complete this sentence, "I wish I had someone with whom I could share..." cuddling
39. If you could invent a new flavor of ice cream, what would it be? Pop corn
40. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? I am pretty sure all tragic events have their “seriousness expiration date”, so not really anything. It’s just kind of wrong in my books to joke about a( relatively recent) event where innocent people got hurt.
41. Who is a famous person you have been compared to? Van Gogh ( as in “you’ll snap and chop off your ear someday “ kind of way... thanks Mom)
42. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex? Gender stereotypes and roles
43. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex? ^
44. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week? I drew something new
45. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it? My lack of certain emotions due to trauma
46. Would you rather be stranded on a desert island with someone you love for ten years, or someone you hate for one month? I don’t actually feel hate for anyone, so I’d much rather spend a month with someone annoying and get it over with
47. How long was your longest relationship? Haven’t been in one
48. Have you ever been in love? Not yet
49. Are you currently in love? Nope
50. Why did your last relationship end? It didn’t start
51. Would you rather live in a castle or a spaceship? Castle
52. What jewellery are you wearing right now, and where did you get it? None at the moment, but I do have a cute opal turtle necklace from Hawaii
53. Name three things which attracted you to your current crush. Voice, manneurisms, sense of humor/sarcasm
54. Is there something you have been keeping a secret? Yeah
55. When was the last time you cried and why? Today. I had to make a pretty big decision
56. Name someone pretty. Linus Wordemann. I had to google this
57. Do you have an ex who's name starts with a "J"? No
58. What did you receive last Valentines Day? Chocolate
59. Do you get jealous easily? Dunno, didn’t really get to experience it
60. Do you believe in the phrase, "If its meant to be, it will be?" Sure
61. Have you ever cheated on someone? No
62. Have you ever been cheated on? No
63. Do you trust your partner/best friend? Yeah, but to a limit
64. What is something you should be doing right now? Go do it. Sleep
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