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wonwoonlight · 3 years ago

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my daisy / chapter 7 | kim mingyu

➝ CEO!Mingyu x Secretary!Reader

➝ strangers to lovers // single dad!Mingyu // fluff // lighthearted // non idol!au // like pls dont expect any dramas here lol // tiny bit of angst ig

➝ series warning: mentions of sex, no smut but there’s implied sexual activities, insecurity (as always jshbdjhsfshbf am sorry), curses, food, let me know if theres more ^^

➝ word count: 3.6k

➝ A/N: HI HOW ARE WE HOLDING UP I AM GOING CRAZY BC THE COMEBACK IS TOMORROW AND I WANNA LISTEN TO THE SONGS ALREADYYYYYYY. on another note! surprise? haha decided to post a little earlier bc i dont see why not when im this happy over the comeback... anyhow!!!! we're finally here for Mingyu & OC moments!!!!!!!!

when your cousin asks you to be her substitute at SVT Inc. as she takes her maternity leave, you’re pretty sure this wasn’t what you signed up for.

series masterlist

The next few days pass by quickly. Either all of the companies here want to meet Mingyu while he’s in town or if it’s just Jennie’s efficient scheduling, you never seem to ever get out of a meeting until it’s at least 6 in the evening.

Two days more then you’re going home. Even though your bed isn’t half as comfortable as the bed in Triple W Hotel, you still miss it and you want to go back to your room already. Being in Japan for work and being in Japan for holiday are two different things, it turns out. You barely even have time to sit down and relax, let alone enjoy the Tokyo scene.

[19:01] SVT Kim Mingyu: have you had dinner?

[19:01] SVT Kim Mingyu: should we go outside and eat?

[19:02] SVT Kim Mingyu: or are you sick of seeing me already

That… is different, too. Spending days following Mingyu around without Seungkwan and any other familiar faces means he’s the sole comfort for your introverted ass. Given, the time you spend with just Mingyu is usually in the car when you’re moving from one place to another, it’s still enough time for the both of you to get even closer.

Because even for lunch and dinner the guy is packed with schedules to have meals with some kind of representatives (and a few friends, you think), you haven’t had the chance to eat with Mingyu again after that sushi place. You usually just eat by yourself while you wait for him to be done. On top of that, Mingyu would have room service for breakfast while you go downstairs to the hotel restaurant area to have yours.

You wonder if that’s the reason why your heart jumps at the invitation.

Huffing a little after replying to Mingyu’s text with a ‘sure! when?’, you quickly go through your suitcase when he replies: ‘in 15 mins?’. Maybe you should thank Jisoo for insisting you to bring more clothes than you would’ve, because there’s no way you’d be going out with Mingyu in what you’d usually consider casual. As much as you try to insist it isn’t a date, you should at least look decent going out with someone who looks like Kim Mingyu (or in general, really, but Mingyu makes you extra conscious even though he never says anything about the way you dress).

Taking one last look in the mirror, you nod to yourself before you step out of your room. Why are you even nervous? You’re just having dinner together, like you usually would with Jihoon, Soonyoung, or Seokmin. Mingyu probably doesn’t want to eat by himself and he’s finally out of dinner appointments. He’s just asking to go with you as a friend. Jennie would most likely have to accompany him eat like this too, you remind yourself.

“Oh? Hi,” someone greets you as you wait for the elevator. “A bit early, are we?”

You grin at Mingyu as your eyes flick to your own watch that says it’s only been 10 minutes since his text, pretending like you’re not flustered. Gosh, you practically see this man everyday and you still blush at his good look?

“Had nothing to do.”

“What, no report to finish?” he jokes, telling you to go in first when the elevator door opens.

“With all due respect, Sir,” you playfully clear your throat, flicking your hair back as he settles next to you. “I am off the clock.”

The sound of his laughter fills the elevator, one that brings a genuine smile out of you, too. Before he can say anything more, the elevator door opens again and a whole family enters the limited space, pushing you back closer to Mingyu. His hand reaches for your arm out of reflex when you stumble, and you can’t help getting warm at the feeling of his fleeting touch on your skin.

“You okay?” he asks as if you just got trampled on. But you nod nevertheless, telling him you’re fine and you just trip on nothing. He chuckles at this, leaning down to your ear and tells you to be careful which prompts your face to heat up over his breath fanning your hair.

You glance at the small drawing on top of the elevator buttons, a sign that says the elevator can only hold the weight of 15 people at most. You’re pretty sure there aren’t that many people yet, but the elevator already feels crowded as it is. Despite that though, of course, when the elevator opens again, the next group of people insists on coming in because there seems to be enough space for another three. The family from earlier shifts to make space, which forces you to press yourself closer to Mingyu.

The guy doesn’t seem to mind though, even pulls you further by the arm so you’re standing in front of him instead. His hands move to your shoulders, holding you in place so you won’t stumble again.

This is something that you notice just recently, but Mingyu, like Gyuri (or is it the other way around?), is just naturally touchy with people he’s comfortable with—which already extends to you, it turns out. You notice how Mingyu would absentmindedly reach for your arm when he’s calling you, or, now that you think about it, how he’d often place his hand on Seungkwan’s shoulder when he’s trying to point out something to the guy. Maybe that’s where Gyuri gets her touchy nature from.

You take in a deep breath at the proximity, thanking the universe at least Mingyu wouldn’t be able to see your nervous face from this position. He’s so close, to the point where you can feel his chest hovering against your back. One stop backwards and you’ll meet his chest.

—and that’s your cue to stop thinking about it before your body somehow registers it as a command instead of a passing thought.

You look down on your feet to mask your nerves as the elevator goes down further and further, the weight of Mingyu’s hands on your shoulders feeling heavier as seconds go by. Another minute and you know you’ll be thinking about this for weeks, the ghost of his touch haunting you until God knows when. Honestly, why are there so many floors in this building and why does everyone want to get into the elevator?!

You unknowingly release a relieved sigh when the elevator hits the lobby, and you can hear Mingyu chuckle from behind you as you do so. You turn to give him a confused glance, but he simply shakes his head then pushes you to get out of the elevator.

You hate the way you’re almost disappointed the moment he pulls away and pushes his hands into the pockets of his coat.

“What do you feel like eating?” he casually asks, matching his pace with yours.

“Um, just… street food?” you honestly say. “But I know that’s not a meal for you, so I’ll just follow whatever you feel like eating.”

Mingyu hums as he contemplates his options before eventually answering. “How about some ramen? Then we can go to this festival my friend mentioned.”

You light up at the mention of festival, having always wanted to go on one but you’re not really sure about when they even hold those kinds of things. Mingyu holds back a grin at the sudden change of your posture, excitement buzzing throughout your body.

“Let’s go then,” he says, signaling you to follow him. You happily trail behind the tall guy, sniffing a little the moment you step out of the hotel glass door as the chill night breeze greets you. Maybe you shouldn’t have just worn shorts and a sweater during this weather, but you honestly don’t want to go back and get another layer just for the sake of it. You can bear it; you’ve always liked the cold anyway.

Initially, you thought you’re waiting for Mingyu’s usual driver by the lobby. But when the valet driver instead comes out and gives the key back to Mingyu, you blink hardly at what this implies. Mingyu tilts his head to the side, telling you to take the front seat as he makes his way to the driver’s seat.

You exhale before you open the door of his car, hoping you would make it out of the night sane.

“Wow, it’s packing here, huh?” you exclaim as you join the short queue in front of the door.

“Yeah, which is why I usually order take out or have someone deliver it to the hotel,” he scrunches his nose. You’re glad he’s not fussy about the queue though. Yes, it’s not a long one, but you’re well aware that some people think they’re too good for queues.

“Why didn’t you?”

“Feels like going out,” he vaguely answers.

Mingyu steps forward after the person in front of you moves in, nodding at whatever the waitress is telling him and then holds up two of his fingers. You guess he’s telling her it’s just going to be the two of you, but she says something that gets Mingyu shrugging before he nods nonchalantly, exclaiming that it’s okay (evidently one of the few Japanese phrases you’ve picked up from the whole trip).

“She says the only available place for two is on a high table so we have to sit side by side instead of facing each other,” he briefly explains. “I guess people tend to want to sit facing each other, which is why she has to make sure we’re okay sitting on a stool bar. Plus, we might have to share the table with another party.”

You let out an ‘aah’ as you nod, taking in the weirdly luxurious design for a ramen place. You wonder if Mingyu has a thing for interior designs judging by the eccentric decorations you’ve found yourself surrounded in everytime you follow Mingyu to a restaurant. He gestures to you to sit on the end of the table before taking the seat next to you, another three seats beside him still empty.

But instead of complying, you tell him to order whatever he thinks is good because you need to go to the restroom real quick. When you come back, the guy is grinning on his screen and the seats beside him are already filled by some guys.

“Look, it’s Daisy,” Mingyu grins even wider that his cheeks hurts a little, moving the camera to you only for you to find Gyuri pouting on the screen.

“Hi Lili!!” you wave happily as you take your seat on the bar stool. “Have you been good?”

“Wanna play Daisy,” she whines sadly, which makes you giggle at her adorable pout. “Daisy come home.”

There’s a content smile on your face that warms Mingyu’s heart, and he doesn’t even realize he’s been staring until the waitress comes to put down the drinks he’s ordered for the both of you, prompting him to look up. He scoots closer to you, dragging the stool with him after he leans his phone on a tissue box so he doesn’t have to keep on holding it.

His scent engulfs you once again. But this time, instead of his usual cologne, it’s the soft smell of his coconut shampoo and fabric softener that floods your senses—and it’s bad because you like this much more than his expensive cologne; there’s a sense of domesticity to it, some kind of exclusivity that only you get to witness.

“Daisy?” Gyuri calls you again, snapping you out of your thoughts. “Miss Lili?”

“Always,” you answer without hesitation. “We’ll play with Auntie Soo, Auntie Nini, and Uncle Cherry once we get back, okay?”

“Promise?” she says her most famous line.

“Promise,” you grin to the screen, painfully aware of how close Mingyu is sitting beside you. Your eyes settle on the small window where you can see yourself and Mingyu on his phone, and you look like you’re leaning against him with his arm on the back of your chair. You’re pretty sure if you move even a bit your shoulder would brush against his chest.

Is that the warmth of his breath against your neck?

“Flower,” Mingyu softly coos, leaning his face forward that it almost looks like he’s leaning his chin on your shoulder from the screen. You can feel your throat tightens and it feels like forever before you’re able to breathe like usual again. “Our food is here. I’ll call you again later, okay?”

You don’t know how Mingyu knows the food is here, but just when Gyuri is about to answer, the waiter comes with two bowls of ramen and serves it to the both of you. Gyuri refuses to hang up just yet, insisting that she still wants to talk to you. So you tell Mingyu he’s welcome to dig in first while you entertain the girl some more.

He can’t help the fond feeling that overwhelms him at the sight of you speaking animatedly to his daughter, answering every single thing that comes out of her mouth as your legs bounce on your seat. Mingyu looks down on your bare legs, and then catches the way the guys beside him say something about you that makes him glad you understand not one of their words.

So he quickly takes the coat that’s hanging on the back of his seat, gently lays it on your lap to cover your thighs from the cold (and from wandering eyes of the three bastards beside him). You look at him in question, but he simply scoots his stool even closer and whispers that it’s cold against your ear. He doesn’t know if he’s simply imagined your soft gasp, but he knows for sure that the guys beside him have quieted at what seems to be an intimate gesture.

They shut up for sure later on when Mingyu sends them an icy glare when they start bringing you up again.

“—bye!” he hears you say at last, and then moves his face closer to yours to say his goodbye to Gyuri too.

“Love you, Papa!”

“Love you, Li,” he grins softly, melting your heart at the sight of it. After Gyuri hangs up, he puts his phone back in the pocket of his jeans and tells you to eat before the ramen gets soggy. So you do just that, thanking him for the food before you stuff your face with the most expensive ramen you’ve probably ever tasted in your life.

“Good?” he asks with an amused smile, chuckling at the way you simply give him a thumb up.

Mingyu lets you be after that, choosing to focus on his meal too because you two seem to be hungrier than you initially thought you were. When you’re both finished, Mingyu refuses your offer to pay for your own meal, saying that it was him who asked you to have dinner with him in the first place. But when you frown and insist, he says you’re free to treat him at the festival instead if you want.

It’s a little funny, if you think about it. To Mingyu, paying for your meal probably doesn’t even cost anything, but you can’t help but feel like it’s inappropriate to let Mingyu pay for everything when you’re out as friends and not as his secretary. It’s the least you could do to ease your conscience.

“We’re walking from here,” he says as he parks the car in a public parking lot. “We might need to walk for five minutes or so, but my friend said this is the nearest parking lot to the festival.”

“Heh, I’ll just consider it exercise,” you shrug nonchalantly.

“It’s not exercise if it’s only for 5 minutes, Daisy,” he playfully says with a nudge on your arm.

You scrunch your nose, hoping it masks the giddy smile on your face at your favorite nickname. “I consider everything that requires me to move my body as exercise.”

“You do know you need to move to eat?”

“Yes.”

“That exercise too?”

“Yes.”

Mingyu looks at you in disbelief, an amused scoff already out of his lips before he can hold it back. Have you always been this cute?

“Alright, you win. Shall we go exercise now?” he asks with a mock politeness. You laugh at this, then pretentiously nod your head with a ‘yes, we shall’ before you follow him and step out of the car. Mingyu stares at you from head to toe, ignoring the pointed look you’re giving him that’s basically asking him why he is not moving. “You… what makes you think it’s a good idea to be wearing shorts in this weather?”

“I… don’t like wearing long pants,” you truthfully answer.

Your boss blinks at the revelation, his mouth turning into an ‘o’. Mingyu still doesn’t move though, so you ask him what he’s waiting for. He holds up a hand, telling you to wait as he walks to the back of his car and rummages through the trunk. He comes back with a hoodie in hand, telling you to wrap it around your waist to help shield your legs from the cold even a little.

You stare at the hoodie, your heart beating way too fast for your liking at the situation, but your mouth sometimes has a tendency to speak first before you can even realize what you’re saying. “With your size? Wearing it will probably cover more of my legs than tying it on my waist.”

“Wear it then,” he tells you pointedly. You stare at him, dumbfounded, and Mingyu simply stares back at you in confusion. “What? It’s clean, I promise. I put it in the trunk the other day just in case.”

When you still keep your silence and stare at him, Mingyu sighs and takes a step forward. You immediately take a step back at that, which makes him scoff in amusement. So he takes another step forward, prompting you to step backward again.

“You really wanna do this?” he asks with a playful glint in his eyes. “You know my legs are far longer than yours?”

“Showoff,” you mumble in annoyance, more to yourself than to him. What happens next doesn’t quite register to you immediately, because how can your brain work properly when Mingyu is suddenly hovering over you, tying the hoodie himself around your waist then grins in victory at your dumbfounded face?

“Let’s go?” he says with a cheeky smile that you can’t help but mirror.

“This time, I’m paying,” you remind him sternly, pretending like his move didn’t startle you in the most pleasant way possible.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he answers with a nonchalant wave, leading you to where the festival is. You jog a little to catch up with him, pretending to be annoyed about how inconsiderate he is with his long steps. Mingyu simply lets out a hearty laugh at this, and then reaches out his hand for you to take so you ‘can follow my steps without getting left behind’. You almost blush at the gesture, but quickly regain composure as you snicker and slap his hand away instead.

“Is that how you get girls to hold hands with you?” you narrow your eyes playfully.

“I don’t usually try to hold hands with girls,” he sticks out his tongue.

This is a good look on him too, you decide. As much as the sight of him and Gyuri always manages to melt your heart, Mingyu looks his age like this; with playfulness painting his face and the youth within him seeing the sun (moon?) after so long. No matter how obvious that Gyuri is his whole world now, you’re sure there are times when Mingyu misses the time when he can be carefree without thinking about his baby back home.

Thoughts like this would make you wonder about the missing figure in the little family. You never want to pry it out of Mingyu (or anyone, for that matter), but it is true that you’d be curious from time to time. Gyuri is the loveliest kid you’ve ever encountered in your life and Mingyu easily fills in the perfect man category, what could possibly go wrong?

But you’re a new person in the scene, you remind yourself. You haven’t known Mingyu for long and there might be sides of him that you don’t know just yet. There are a lot of other possible scenarios: a child wasn’t in the original plan for them, or the mom might already pass, quite literally leaving Mingyu with Gyuri behind to go to heaven, and so on.

Mingyu’s warm hand suddenly finds yours, and your head snaps up in surprise at the touch. But Mingyu quickly pulls you with him, reasoning that the festival is a little too crowded and he doesn’t want to lose you in the sea of people.

Jennie’s words suddenly echo in your mind as your eyes refuse to stop looking at your joined hands: ‘You don’t have to deny your feelings, alright?’.

And this time, with Mingyu’s hand enveloping yours, you don’t see any reason to pull away when your heart hums in content at the touch and the warmth that waves through your body is pleasant for once.

So you squeeze his hand tighter instead, nervously biting your bottom lip just in case Mingyu pulls away in surprise. He catches your eyes then, and you can see him holding back a grin before he looks forward again and continues to pull you with him through the crowd.

You wish you weren’t imagining the way his hand tightens against yours.

A/N 2: this is for u @wwssi who somehow have predicted i'd be posting this earlier bc i literally have this queued before u sent that ask :p

taglist: @yslshua@penny-quinn@nollixtrml@dnylwoo@itsveronicaxxx@john-and-paul@wheeinz@rjsmochii@w0nuuu@boowanie@n6body@imtotallydef@wwssi@bythe8@cheolright@coupsiekkuma@hoe4wonwoo@kyeomjjigae@jh-fn@clairdelunesstuff@yoongischeeksluv@onlywonforhui@janandbeyond@treasure-hwa@teddy-cheol@tito-jun@projectjuvia@notscoupy@jeonshuawreads@cheoriemoawa@wtfkidult@itsdnguyenxoxo @nothingbutadeadesceane @juli-ssi

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shadowwalkerimagines · 2 years ago

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Hell’s Canyon

『 Hell’s Canyon: Run 1, Day 1: It’s You 』 Undertale - Convergent Mob AU | Sans (Various) / You; Papyrus (Various) / You; Reader Insert; Second-Person Point of View

Rating: M | Warnings for this fic: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Dark Fic, Dark Themes, Kidnapping, Drug Use, Non-consensual Drug Use, Obsessive Behavior, Manipulation, Unhealthy Relationships, Power Imbalance

Summary: Hell’s Canyon is a city plagued by crime and poverty. You moved here a few years ago, intent on following your dreams and bettering your career—you had no plans to linger any longer than necessary, after all, but... This city doesn’t just let people go. Especially not when you manage to catch the eye of those that run Hell’s underbelly.

You better make the right decisions if you want to make it out of this city in one piece.

At the end of each update Readers are presented with a choice. It’s up to you to make the right one.

It has almost been five years (that’s half a decade) since you moved here and you find yourself regretting the decision more and more with each passing day. You had told yourself it would be temporary—just a quick stint while you worked towards a better position and a comfortable cushion in your bank account; surely a better opportunity in a better location would open up soon! But oh, had you been so blindingly naïve back then—not yet jaded by corrupt management, nepotism, and the extent people will go to to ensure they come out on top. Five years and so many opportunities for advancement you have been passed over. Empty words and sorry attempts at sympathy replay in your mind—

“Oh, I’m sorry dear, you just don’t have the right experience.”

“You’re just not what we’re lookin’ for right now. Maybe give it a go next time.”

“He’s just more knowledgeable in this subject matter than you; you understand, don’t you?”

You crumple the paper in your hand and toss it in the garbage. If you slammed the lid down a little too forcefully… well, it’s not like there’s anyone around to judge you for it.

You might have only read the first line but you didn’t need to read anything else. It would just be more empty words anyway.

Rejection was still rejection, no matter how nicely it was fluffed up.

* * *

There is only a half hour left before your shift is over and as you watch the hands tick ever so studiously across the face of the clock, you find your mind drifting to the mini chocolate cake packed away in the back of your fridge. You had gotten it as a little treat to yourself on your grocery run, a cheap little $5 thing from the grocery store bakery, but after today… well, you were most definitely looking forward to treating yourself.

A day full of dealing with self centered customers and coworkers that seemingly have nothing better to do than pass their work on to you really wears on a person.

You most definitely would be taking the opportunity to treat yourself! Now if only time would hurry up.

“Hey there, Trouble!” comes the voice of your coworker, causing your mood to immediately plummet. Not this asshole again. You try (and ultimately fail) to hide your disgruntled expression at the man you had been passed over for a full time position, who was then quickly promoted to a supervisory role. How the lazy, corner cutting piece of—no. No. Stop. Take a breath and calm down. Don’t let him know how much he gets under your skin.

“What is it, Robert?”

“Aw, c’mon, don’t be like that! How many times’ve I gotta tell you to just call be Rob?”

You purse your lips as the man immediately invades your bubble to slap a hand around your shoulder, his palm grasping at your shoulder, pulling you against him. You immediately slip out from under him. He’s always been annoyingly “friendly”—invasively so. You’re sure that’s how he managed to weasel his way into his position, despite all the errors and half assed jobs he would inevitably push onto you.

“I don’t know, Robert, but you can add one more to the count. What do you want?” You pointedly look towards the clock and thankfully, as dense as the man pretends to be, he catches on.

“I know, I know,” he shrinks in on himself and you just know he’s about to ask for a favor. You’re about to give him a firm and solid “No,” but he starts back up before you have the chance. “I forgot we had a really important order for a customer that was due for delivery today but Naomi already left and this has to be dropped off today—no exceptions.”

“Okay?” You quirk a brow, entirely unsympathetic. Surely he’s not asking you to take it on.

The silence that stretches along with the pathetic pleading expression he gives you is answer enough.

“No way,” you sigh out, running a hand over your face and pulling it through your hair. “I’m done in a half hour, that’s nowhere near enough time to make a delivery and make it back in time.” Even with as good a brownnoser Robert is, even he has never been able to hold any sway over Deb and her ironclad control of ensuring people clock in and out on time. “Aw, c’mon,” he pleads, “you can take your own car and just head straight home after the delivery—I’ll clock you out!” When you frown and narrow your eyes at him, he goes so far as to clasp his hands together. “Pleeeease??? I’ll make it up to you, I swear!”

Yeah, like you haven’t heard that one a hundred times before. Another glance at the clock and you notice it somehow hasn’t even been five minutes. You heave a heavy sigh. It has been a pretty slow day, Robert could handle whatever came up in what little time remained (and if you gave a silent plea for the world’s most self-entitled, unreasonable customer with the most asinine of orders to come in… well, no one would know). You draw in a slow, heavy breath, hold it for a beat, and then breathe it out with a, “fine.”

It takes all your inner strength to keep from rolling your eyes at the little “whoop!” and jump Robert does. It’s not like you agreed to this with altruistic intentions—it’s the only way to ensure he will leave you alone.

“Great!” he explains at the same time he pulls a rather crumpled and crinkled looking envelope from his back pocket. He stuffs it in your hands and all but shoves you towards the back office, where your bag and the back door are. “The address is written on the envelope, just tell them you’re there for Bobbie!”

And the next thing you know, you’re standing in front of your car, a crinkled envelope in one hand and your bag in the other. You shake your head and blink a few times to clear the daze that overcame you, and proceed to fish out your keys.

“What in the hell was that about?” Sure the man always seemed to run on high but even for him that was a bit overly pushy. You ultimately decide to shrug it off, not nearly invested enough in the man to know the answer, as you get seated and remind yourself that Robert has always been weird. The sooner you get this delivery sorted, the sooner you can get to that cake waiting for you at home.

You cast a glance at the curiously beaten up envelope, squint at it, but when it doesn’t whisper the secrets of the universe to you, decide it’s not worth your job to pry.

* * *

You pull up to an unsettlingly empty looking strip mall. The parking lot is empty save for a stray car or two and most of the shop fronts have missing or damaged signage.

“Uh… did I get the address wrong?” With anxiety rising, you grab the beaten up envelope and read the address: 2435 Market Plaza, Suite 18. Staring back to the desolate shop fronts you acknowledge that it looks right… straight down to the numbers adjacent to each door. You’re sat in front of 12... there’s 13, 14, 15...

Something prickles along the back of your neck. Is Robert playing some kind of sick joke on you?

You need to make a decision. Do you…

[Check the suite?]

[Go home?]

#Undertale Fanfiction #Undertale Mob AU #Reader Insert #Hell's Canyon

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is0gild · 4 years ago

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Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Bonus Chapter 1

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 12,577

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER | | NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

"Do you think Kristoff is cute?" Anna asked, elbows propped on the table and chin in both hands as she watched the man in question from across the food court.

"You kiddin'? The dude's a hunkasaurus. Total dreamboat," Lea replied distractedly, not looking up from his current task. He was seated atop a different table, this one behind me, his feet perched to either side of me on the armrests of my chair as he played with my hair, slowly braiding and unbraiding it only to rebraid it again. "Better snap him up quick. If you don't slice yourself off a piece of that beefcake, I might beatcha to it."

My sister blew out an amused pft through her teeth as she looked over at him. "Sure, like he'd even give you the time of day."

"Oh-ho, trust me. If I wanted that boy, I'd have him."

"Anna," I sighed, interjecting myself back into the conversation. "Focus, please."

She blinked owlishly back at me, clearly having already forgotten my question. Or quite possibly not even having heard it in the first place. "...on…?" she asked at last, dragging the word out uncertainly.

I exhaled softly. "About Mother and Father?"

Her eyes darted to the left as she squinted and tried, "As in… do they think Kristoff is cute?"

My eyelids drooped and I gave a flat, "No."

Today found me with not one visitor on my lunch break, but two. Lea came as little shock. Even though he had the day off, he'd lately taken to doing his homework here in the food court whenever I was on the clock. That way, he could spend my lunches with me, not to mention score free ice cream throughout the day. Anna, on the other hand, had been an unexpected surprise, but always a welcome one of course. However, it was quickly becoming apparent that it probably wasn't really me she'd come to see.

Not if the way she kept eyeing my coworker as he ran the ice cream counter was any indication.

It'd been a few weeks now since her rather explosive breakup with Hans. Given that she normally got over past boyfriends in under a day, maybe two tops, the fact that it'd taken her this long to quit moping over him said something. But it seemed at long last she was back to her old, perky self again and all but wearing a "cute, single and ready to mingle" sandwich board sign. And apparently it was Kristoff's lucky day, for it seemed my sister had set her mingle-crosshairs on him as her latest conquest.

I didn't know whether to congratulate the guy or tell him to run. My sister would eat him alive.

Anna was now staring at me expectantly, waiting for me to elaborate. I bit my bottom lip, looking down as my fingers absently began to trace the snowflake pattern of my stockings. "I just… I was wondering… how Mother and Father were doing, that's all."

I'd still yet to speak to them since the little blowout at their house the weekend of Grandfather's birthday. If they weren't going to contact me, I certainly wasn't going to make any effort to reach out to them either. Still, I couldn't deny that it weighed on me a bit. I'd mostly been trying to keep my mind off it, trying to distract myself by throwing all my attention and energy into rehearsals.

She frowned then puffed out a heavy breath, causing her lips to flap. "Ya know, I'm not sure really… Fine, I guess? The same? They're not really on speaking terms with me since they found out about me and Butthead."

If you couldn't guess, that was her oh so charming nickname for Hans now.

Not to mention the only name anyone was allowed to refer to him as in Anna's presence these days.

"Ah," I breathed, fingers fidgeting with the hem of my work skirt. "...I see."

Her lips pursed to one side. "Now that I think about it though… them and Grandpa haven't really been on speaking terms either lately. But no clue if that's so much as his choice or theirs."

"Oh? Huh…" my brow furrowed and my head tipped to one side.

What could it mean?

"You should talk to 'em, ya know," came Lea's low voice suddenly as he hunched down next to my ear.

A tiny scowl twisted my face as I glanced over at him. He quirked an eyebrow back at me from beneath my Ice Palace cap, which he was currently wearing backwards. I huffed and crossed my arms, "If they want to talk to me, they know where to find me."

He snorted and sat up straight once more, his fingers returning to gently combing through my hair, eliciting a tingle in my scalp that made me shiver. "Someone has to be the first one."

"Yeah. Them," I harrumphed.

Now he pressed his lips to the back of my head before his hand ruffled my bangs. "You can be so stubborn sometimes, ya know that?"

No comment.

"Right!" Anna was abruptly hopping up to her feet and pumping a fist as she set her determined eyes on Kristoff once more. "I'm gonna march up to that boy and work my magic! Prepare to have your socks knocked off, you big sexy manbeast!" She then smoothed a hand over her hair, tugged on the neckline of her dress to flash a little more cleavage, and took one confident step towards the Ice Palace.

That was as far as she got before, "Hold it!" A hand shot out to snag her elbow, stopping her in her tracks. "We need to talk to you."

Anna blinked down at the offending hand, then at its owner, Rayne. She'd just shown up with a grinning and waving Kairi at her side.

Where'd they come from? I hadn't even seen either of them approaching.

"...me?" Anna asked, pointing at herself as both eyebrows flew up her forehead.

My roomie nodded then turned her eyes towards me to clarify, "Both of you."

Huh. This now brought the count up to four people dropping by to see me on my lunch break today. Never before had I been in such high demand.

Had I become, dare I say it… popular?

Dear god, I hope not!

Rayne's gaze narrowed on Lea. "Beat it, Red. This doesn't concern you."

"You beat it!" Lea shot back as his arms hugged me from behind, pulling me back against his chest. He made a small hmph that I more felt than heard as he rested his chin atop my head, "This is my El Time. You're not allowed to cut in on it, you live with her."

She rolled her eyes. "You two have plans together tonight once her shift is over, right?"

"So?"

"So you can give up five minutes of your precious El Time for me and Kai here to have a quick chat with her. Now go on, shoo," she dismissed him with a bored flick of her wrist.

He grumbled, "Ugh, fine. Looks like the kiddos just punched in over at Pizza Planet, so guess I could go grace their sad existences with my glorious presence." Releasing me, he pulled my elastic band off his wrist so he could tie my hair back into its ponytail. Then he was nuzzling his face into my neck, planting a quick peck there before whispering in my ear, "Be back in a sec. You'll miss me, I know, but try to keep the tears in check, hm?"

In response, I turned my head to kiss him on the nose… followed by smothering his face with my hand and shoving him away. He sniggered, pushing himself off the table.

"Hope you're ready to have your ass curb stomped tomorrow, Organization scum," Kairi slyly smirked at him.

"Big talk coming from someone's who lost the last two years runnin' now, Princess twerp," he tugged down his left lower eyelid with his middle finger and razzed his tongue at her before turning and jogging off, still wearing my cap.

Eyes flicking back and forth between him and Kairi, Anna asked, "What was that about?"

"Laser tag," I grinned softly as my gaze followed Lea for a second before I reached back to tighten my ponytail and glanced at the rest of ladies once more. "It's practically all he's been talking about for the last week."

"Mm-hm," Kairi nodded as she and Rayne pulled up chairs to sit with us. "It's also what we want to talk to you about. We're here to recruit you two!"

My head rocked back slightly. Then my brows knit together as my eyes darted about. Uh, heh… no thanks! Checking my phone, I stood up quickly, "Er… would you look at the time? I'm due back from lunch! I should go cloc-"

"Sit!" Anna snagged my wrist and jerked me back down into my seat with a firm thud. "You still got at least another ten minutes, liar!"

"Snitch," I grumbled back.

Lifting her chin with a smug little smirk, she looked back at the other two. "Please, continue."

"You know Space Paranoids, right? The laser tag place here in the mall?" Rayne began, addressing Anna more so than me, seeing as how I already had some clue as to what was going on, thanks to Lea. "Well some years back, a buncha us rented the entire place out for like a whole day and it was a total blast. We all had so much fun that we decided to make it an annual thing. More and more kept joining every year and as people kept getting more and more competitive, it wasn't long before two official teams were formed. Lea's group calls themselves the Organization."

"Such a buncha dorks," Kairi shook her head with a snerk. Then she was pointing back and forth between her and Rayne, "Our team is way cooler. We're the Princesses."

Anna bit back a grin and cocked one eyebrow at my roommate. "The Princesses? Really?"

She closed her eyes and heaved a sigh, "Kai's idea. It stuck."

"Hey now. Princesses are cute and kick serious butt," Kairi cockily flipped her hair back over her shoulder.

"Anyway," Rayne chimed back in, "we thought this year those Organization losers were gonna have to forfeit because they were down two teammates that moved away recently. However, not only did those jerks manage to snag the mall security guards as replacements, but now we're down two people ourselves."

"Really? Who?" Anna eagerly leaned forward in her seat, thoroughly invested now.

"Me," she muttered, face twisting sourly as she gestured down to her belly. At five months along now, she was starting to look very much pregnant. She huffed indignantly, "Some people think it might not be safe for the baby."

By the tone of her voice, I was guessing "some people" included her husband.

"You are getting pretty big now, Ray-Ray," Anna snickered. "Maybe it's a good idea-"

"Shush!" she glared, striking up a finger in warning. "I get enough of that from Riku!"

Kairi spoke up once more, "Our other person who's out this time round is Ariel. She's got bronchitis."

I blinked. "Again?!"

"Again," she and Rayne groaned in unison. Kairi then beamed, clapping her hands together once, "That's where you two come in! Could ya please, please, pretty please help us outta this major jam here and top off our team? Whaddya say?"

"Sweet! Count us in!" Anna declared, excitedly balling her hands into fists in front of her chest.

"Correction. You can count her in," I touched Anna's shoulder, then placed a hand over my chest, "and me out."

Kairi's face fell, "But we need you!"

I snorted, "No you don't, I'm the last person you need. I've never played laser tag before. I've never even held a, uh… um…" I grimaced, floundering for the right word before saying lamely, "...laser… beam… shooter… thingie ever in my life!"

"You can just call it a gun, sweetie," Rayne cooed, reaching over to pat my hands.

"But that's the beauty of it! That doesn't matter! We don't need you to be good," Kairi argued before a tiny, wicked smile broke out across her face. "We just need you to take care of Lea."

My head tilted to the right as I frowned. "...Lea?"

Rayne nodded, "Yup! He's one of their best players, along with Xigbar and Saïx."

"Saïx?" I echoed, squinting at her. "You mean to tell me he's awake during the daytime for this?"

"There's three days a year that dude'll brave the sun, and our yearly laser tag game is one of those days. He takes it surprisingly seriously," Rayne explained solemnly.

Wrinkling my nose up at the ceiling, I inhaled and exhaled loudly. "I still don't understand how I'm supposed to help you with Lea, especially if he's as good as you say he is."

"Simple!" Kairi chirped. "You just need to keep him distracted! Mess with his head a lil. Throw him off his game just long enough for the rest of us to knock him outta the match early."

I furrowed my brow at her. "...and how exactly am I supposed to do that?"

"Isn't it obvious?" She gave me an impish wink. "Use your feminine wiles."

"My…?" A crease formed between my eyebrows now as I stared down at my lap. "...do I even have those?"

Kairi laughed, "Course you do! All girls have them."

"Yeah, even you, Sis!" Anna pinched my cheek. I shut one eye against it, swatting her hand away.

"Trust me, all Elsa has to do is exist around that boy and he's a total goner. He'll be eliminated so fast, he won't even know what hit him," Rayne muttered to Kairi, who nodded in agreement. Then my roomie was locking eyes with me once more, "So how 'bout it, sweetpea? Will you help us out?"

I shifted in my seat uncomfortably. "I… uh…"

Anna nudged her shoulder with mine, "C'mon, Sis, pleeeeeeeease? I'm super friggin' pumped, this sounds like so much fun!"

Clasping my hands between hers, Kairi pleaded, "Help us, Elsa-Wan Kenobi! You're our only hope!"

"Well, I… er…"

Then they did it.

I was the victim of a triple-decker puppy-dog-eyes pout.

Perhaps I could have withstood one, even if it was Anna's. And maybe, just maybe I could've even resisted the combined force of two. But three?

I defy anyone to say no to that.

Shoulders slumping, I gave a long drawn out sigh. "...what time tomorrow?"

All three of them threw up their hands and cheered. After they took a few seconds to settle back down, Kairi said, "Don't worry, we'll get all the deets to you soon! And remember, you're our ace in the hole. Our secret weapon!"

A tiny gulp. "I am?"

"Yup! So don't breathe a single word of this to Lea!"

And breathe a word I did not. Thus, the next day…

"What the…? Oh, hell no!"

At Lea's outburst, I glanced towards him as Kairi, Anna and I walked out into the Space Paranoids lobby. We'd just been freshly geared up with blasters, half-helmets and vests - and by vests, I meant small, impossible-to-hit (at least I thought so anyway) targets over our hearts held in place by glow-in-the-dark, suspender-like straps that latched back behind our shoulders where a second target was located. The helmets also had targets on them, as well as see-through plastic visors that covered our eyes.

The lobby seemed to be split by an invisible line, with what looked to be the Princesses grouped up together on one side and what I could only assume was the Organization on the other, given that Lea was standing with them as he glared daggers at Kairi from across the room. She merely shot him a cheeky smirk and called, "Problem, beanstalk?"

He marched over, crossing enemy lines to glare down his nose at the considerably shorter redhead. "Uh-uh. Nope. Not allowed. I call foul. Objection!"

She snorted, unconcerned as she checked her nails and shrugged. "Dunno what has your panties in such a twist, big guy. Care to enlighten me?"

He jabbed a finger in my direction while still directing his snarl at her, "Get her outta here. She's not part of this, find someone else."

Kairi scoffed, "There's nothing in the rules declaring girlfriends off limits. In fact, there are no rules."

"Well there should be! In fact, I'll draw some up right this damn second!" he huffed, tucking his blaster into the back of his pants before storming over to a counter, behind which a pasty-complexioned employee currently stood. Lea snatched a pen off the countertop before stomping back over to us, angrily jamming his hand into one of his pockets and fishing out something crumpled. Then he slammed it to the wall and attempted to smooth it (without much success), uncapped the pen with his teeth and began scrawling across it.

"Rule 1…" he enunciated as his pen furiously scribbled, "...no… girlfriends…" He paused, then amended, "or boyfriends…" Another pause, then he scribbled it all out and started over. "Rule 1… no… smooch-buddies…" he underlined those first two words three times before continuing," ...on opposite… teams. Period. That's it. That's all… the rules." His pen stabbed down hard with finality before he shoved the crinkled thing with his handwriting all over it in front of Kairi's face. "There. Rules. Happy?"

Kairi dully stared at what he was holding, unfazed. Then her eyelids drooped. "...that's a napkin."

Lea rolled his eyes, "So what? Doesn't make 'em any less ironclad!"

She gingerly took "the rules" from him, eyeing them with a thoughtful nod for a second. Then she looked him dead in the eye as she ripped them in two, forcing a horrified gasp out of him as the shredded halfs fluttered to the ground. "Sorry, I don't recognize your napkin rules. She's playing, so suck it up."

He narrowed his eyes down at her. "I'm onto you. I know what you're doing."

"Oh? What, pray tell, is it that I'm doing?" she asked all sugar-sweet like.

His face pinched and there was a low, annoyed growl in his throat. Then he pointed two fingers at his eyes, then at her, then back and forth a few more times. "I see you, villain!" he hissed before turning away from her to address me now, his face and tone softening. "...can I talk to you real quick? Please?"

I fidgeted with my gun, struggling to keep a straight face after the sheer ridiculousness of the tiny spat I'd just witnessed, especially with them both wearing their little cheap, plastic helmets the whole time and looking absolutely absurd. At my nod, he slipped his hand into mine and led me over to an empty corner of the lobby where we could chat with some small amount of privacy.

"If those girls pressured you into doing this, you can ignore 'em, ya know," he told me quietly, shooting the Princesses one final scowl out of the corner of his eye. "You don't hafta do this if you don't want to."

I bit back a grin. He actually kind of looked adorable right now, sulking like an overgrown child behind that silly eye-visor he was wearing. It was hard to take him seriously. "It's okay. Really. I'll admit, I was a bit nervous and hesitant at first, but this also sounds like it might be kind of fun. It's fine. I want to play."

"But I don't want you to," he frowned, his fingers reaching out to idly fiddle with the tip of my braid. I don't think he even realized he was doing it. "...some of the guys don't hold back, El. Once that starting buzzer blasts, all bets are off and it can get pretty rough in there. You could get seriously hurt."

I slowly shook my head, "But the other girls-"

"-have played this before and know what they're getting into. You don't," he insisted.

I made a small hmph in my throat as my stubbornness began to spark. "How bad could it be? Really?" Glancing back towards the Princesses, I pointed out one of them in particular. "What about her, right there? She's, what… ten? Eleven years old? If you got grade schoolers playing, I think I'll be fine."

"She's one of their scariest players. Seriously, they hop that kid up on a mega shit ton of sugar from the Wonderland candy store until she's stark raving mad, then set her loose to wreak unholy hell in the laser tag grounds."

Huh. On second glance, the little girl did look twitchy. Almost freakishly so.

Sighing, I looked back up at Lea once more. "Look, I told Kairi and the others I would play, and that's what I'm going to do. I'd feel bad backing out now as I doubt they'd be able to replace me at the last second like this. I can take care of myself, you know. I promise I'll be careful, but I am doing this," I brought a comforting hand up to stroke his cheek, my eyes crinkling slightly. "So suck it up."

He snorted, dragging a hand along the nape of his neck and puffing out a heavy breath. "Fine, I guess I can't stop ya. But know this," he hunched down to my eye-level, tapping me lightly on the nose, "if we cross paths in there, don't think I'll go easy on ya."

"Good," I grinned back. "Neither will I."

"Oh-ho, pretty sure of ourselves, are we?" he smiled, rubbing a finger over his chin now. "In that case, care to put a lil wager on this?"

I turned my head to one side, shooting him some side-eye. "...I'm listening."

"How 'bout… whoever is the last one standing between the two of us, wins. And if I win…" his eyes hooded as he ducked down next to my ear, his voice silky and low as he continued, "...you ravage me senseless tonight. Maybe while wearing that lil mini skirt I like ya in so much."

My face warmed. Flirting was a part of relationships that I still wasn't fully accustomed to just yet. Hans had never really done it and it's not like I could simply brush it off as Lea's empty teasing anymore. Clearing my throat, I just asked, "And if I win?"

He gave a soft chuckle, nipping at my earlobe. "Then I'm the one who ravages you senseless."

A tiny smirk tugged at my lips. "...maybe while you're the one wearing the mini skirt?"

Lea shot up straight, eyes wide. Then he laughed, "Deal!"

I stared at him blankly. "I was joking."

"I wasn't. Be careful whatcha wish for," he singsonged, wagging a finger in my face. I merely drooped my eyelids at him and he snerked. Then his hand was cupping the back of my head, pulling me in for a sound kiss to the lips and murmuring, "Good luck."

"You too," my arms hugged his neck as I gave him a light peck in return. "You're going to need it."

"You have way too much confidence for someone who's never played before," he snorted and I just shrugged. Then we reluctantly parted and started making our way back to our respective teams.

I glanced around as I walked, getting a better look at the lobby. It had a very retro futuristic feel to it, what with all its hard angular lines that glowed neon blue and red decorating the walls, ceiling and floor. Even that pale employee behind the counter was dressed head-to-toe to match the room. His nametag read TRON - I had to wonder if that was an actual real name or (more likely) just the name he was assigned while on the job. On the wall beyond the two teams were a pair of doors, one that was dark grey and blue like the colors of the Princesses' helmets, while the other was white and red like the Organization's. I could only assume each group would enter through their matching door once the game was about to start.

Opposite the room from there was a wall made entirely of thick glass, through which could be seen the front desk where customers came in to sign up and pay for laser tag rounds. That area had several flatscreens hanging on the walls showing live feeds of various sections of the laser tag arena for onlookers to observe the match in realtime, so the place was currently packed with a small mob of people who'd come to watch our little face-off. It seemed this annual event drew quite the crowd.

While I didn't recognize most of the faces, there were a few familiar ones here and there. Aqua, Ventus, and Terra grouped together on one side… Yuffie and Leon on another… and over next to Sora, I could even spot Naminé there with a sketchpad in hand. I think she was drawing us players all decked out in our gear. And was that… Vanitas, of all people, trying to cozy up next to her? She seemed oblivious to him. Rayne, on the other hand, most definitely was not. She shoved her baby bump in between the two of them, forcing Vanitas to stumble back a step as she plucked Naminé's art pad from her hands and smacked the goth lord across the face with it. She then handed it back to Naminé, who just went back to sketching as if nothing had happened. Then Rayne was smiling and waving at me through the glass as Riku stepped up behind her to slip his arms around her waist and rest his chin on her shoulder.

As I waved back and took my spot next to Anna with the rest of the girls, I heard a wry voice coming from the enemy team, "Trouble with the lil missus, Flamesilocks?"

"Bite me, Cyclops," Lea snapped as he rejoined his team, his sour mood apparently resurging.

"Heh. As if," that same smug voice shot back. It belonged to a tall man with a jagged scar on one cheek and an eyepatch that looked rather odd to say the least when paired with his helmet's visor. His long black and grey-streaked ponytail swished as he then bent low into a dramatic, mocking bow directed towards another guy with long silver hair who I recognized as the supervisor over at Cinema XIII. "If I may do the honors, oh illustrious leader?"

The man - presumably their team captain - said nothing, just gave an uninterested flick of his hand.

That was all the go-ahead Eyepatch needed. Raising his voice so both teams could hear, he called, "Alright, listen up, scrubs! For most of you, this ain't your first rodeo, but I'll give a quick rundown anyhow seeing as we have a few first-timers in the ranks today. Here's the short and skinny of it: This first round - as in the only round that really matters - is one shot, one kill. Meaning all it takes is one hit and," he smirked, dragging his thumb across his throat, "you're out. Luckily for you gals, friendly fire has been disabled. This is where we separate the real men from the thumb-suckers. And there are zero points this first match, so when all you pretty, pretty Princesses are KO'd-"

"When?" Kairi sneered, narrowing her eyes at him from across the room.

He flashed her a toothy grin. "You hard of hearing, Strawberry Shortcake? Must be all that glitter and unicorns jamming up your earholes. Yes, when all you ladies are down for the count," he jerked his thumb to his chest, "we win. And for any boohooers out there who wanna play by points and multiple lives, don't worry. All the matches after this one are wimp-friendly. But might I suggest instead of relying on those lame handicaps, you all just get good like me?" he puffed up his chest, planting one hand on his hip while twirling his blaster in the other.

Suddenly the target on his vest lit up red and started beeping loudly, indicating he'd been hit. His assailant - a chick on our team with long, wild, curly red hair - lowered her gun with a snort before roaring with laughter while several of the other girls joined in.

Eyepatch chuckled, "Nice potshot, Hotshot. Save it for the game."

I had to wonder if this guy was Xigbar - one of the Organization's three best players besides Lea and Saïx, or so I'd been told. He certainly seemed cocky enough, that was for sure. Then again, cocky didn't necessarily mean he was any good.

As I eyed the other Organization members, I spotted a few I recognized from around the mall. The team leader wasn't the only one from the movie theater - that kid with the emo haircut was there too. So was Larxene, the blonde chick sporting the funky hairdo. I'd finally had a chance to learn her name, seeing as how she was assistant director in the musical I'd joined. The director himself, Marluxia, was there too, as well as Demyx who was helping provide our play's music and who also worked at The Blue Sitar, if I was recalling correctly. Then there was Roxas and Xion, who were doing their best to perk up a still slightly pouty Lea. Saïx was near at hand to those three, although he seemed to be keeping to himself and concentrating… or more like… meditating? Maybe... honing for the upcoming match? Wow, he certainly did take this seriously!

Next in the lineup were the two mall security guards who I'd met that night I'd accidentally pushed The Anger Button on the soft serve/milkshake machine - their names were escaping me at the moment. And lastly, there were two blondes. The first one had a goatee and piercings and I believe I remembered seeing him working at the magic shop here at the mall. The other one wore his hair long and had a chilly expression. I don't think I'd noticed him around the mall ever. In any case, I suppose there was a chance one of them could be Xigbar too.

A siren blast suddenly blared out through the overheard speakers, making me jump as the team doors slid open. Whoops and hollers from the players filled the room as they all started shuffling into their corresponding doorways. Anna hooked her arm through mine, flashed me a grin and dragged me along to follow the others.

"Don't worry, big guy, we'll try to return her to you in one piece," Kairi gave Lea one last parting shot. In response, he merely flipped her the bird as he disappeared through his door and all the Princesses erupted into cackles.

Beyond the doorway was a long winding hallway that got darker and darker the deeper we went, the only light source now coming from those neon glowing lines above, below and all around us. The further in we got, the more it began to look like we had somehow found our way inside a ginormous computer from the 80s. Eventually it brought us to another big room that was decorated in nothing but blue lines - our team's HQ, if I had to take a guess. There were three more sealed doors that would probably lead out to the rest of the map once they opened up, with huge, light-up timers over each one counting down until the start of the match. We had less than five minutes.

Quick introductions were made - I actually knew a handful of the Princesses already. There was Snow White and Tiana, who were in the musical with me. Aurora, who I remembered from auditions. Belle from Friday night drinks at the 7th Heaven. Then some girls I recalled seeing around the mall and was just now getting to know their names: Cindy from The Glass Slipper, Jasmine from Cave of Wonders, and Rapunzel from Hair, Here, Everywhere - gosh, how was she not going to trip over all that hair of hers while she ran around playing laser tag?!

"And this," Kairi went on, gesturing towards the redhead who'd landed a hit on Xigbar earlier during his little speech, "is Merida from over at DunBroch Goods, the camping and sporting goods store. She's our best shot."

"You're damn right I am!" she declared proudly in a thick Scottish accent. "And I've been putting extra time in over at the archery range! All those scaffy dolts aren't gonna know what hit 'em!"

Next Kairi was nodding towards the little twitchy girl. "This here is Alice. She's Luxord's baby sister from over on the other team." I smiled and Anna began to wave, but Kairi grabbed her wrist and lowered it with a subtle shake of her head, whispering, "Try not to make eye contact."

Apparently lost in the sugar-rush sauce, Alice just gave another twitch.

"And last but most certainly not least, this is Kida from Atlantis Electronics," Kairi pointed to a girl with long white hair and a blue face tattoo who grinned big, "annnnnnd Moana from Heart of Te Fiti, the lil surf outlet we have here." The chick with a mane of frizzy black hair next to Kida wiggled her fingers in greeting.

"Right, that's everyone! Now, onto the plan of attack!" Kairi clapped her hands and rubbed them together with an evil gleam in her eyes. "Everyone knows their positions except for the newbies. Anna, stick close to Alice and Punzie."

"Got it!" my sister nodded before giving a tiny squeal and bouncing on the balls of her feet. "Ahhh! I'm so excited!"

Kairi then looked to me, "As for you, you're with Merida and me. We'll keep you safe until we can track down your boy toy. Then it's all up to you to do your stuff!"

My forehead wrinkled. "My… stuff?"

"Ya know," she waggled her eyebrows at me. "Work that groove thang, girlfriend!"

...first it was feminine wiles. Now apparently I also had a "groove thang?"

I was learning so much about myself within the past twenty-four hours.

"Once you got him good and distracted and all puddy in your sweet lil hands, Merida and I will be sure to put him six feet under," Kairi smirked, squeezing one eye shut as she aimed her blaster and mimed firing it, shouting, "Blam!" before blowing the imaginary smoke away from the barrel and beaming.

"Blue combatants prepare to enter the Grid in sixty seconds," a synthesized female voice announced over the sound system.

Kairi glanced up at it, then added, "Now! Real fast before the game starts, let's show you ladies how these bad boys work!"

In the scant time we had remaining, Anna and I were given a quick rundown on how to aim and reload our guns. Then we broke into smaller groups that stood ready at each of the three doors that would soon open. As my teammates started giggling and counting down the final seconds in a loud chant, I swallowed hard.

All that confidence I'd been flaunting to Lea earlier? Yeah, nothing but talk. Now that the time was finally upon us, icy anxiety began to flood my veins and my free hand came up to twist at my braid. On its own, playing laser tag for the first time was scary enough since I really had no idea what I was doing. But all this talk tossed around about feminine wiles and, er… groove thangs? Wasn't helping. I wasn't sure if I could pull off what the Princesses were asking me to do.

...Rayne had said me just existing around Lea would trip him up. Maybe that would be enough? Maybe-

Another siren blast startled me once again and those big metallic doors slid open. Alice let loose a blood curdling war cry that was surprisingly loud for one so small before charging off out of her door. Anna mimicked her with a bellow of her own as she and Rapunzel raced after her. "Come on!" Kairi snagged my elbow and I staggered into a run between her and Merida as we exited through our own doorway with Moana and Kida bringing up the rear.

The place was an absolute maze inside. We took so many turns that it wasn't long before I was utterly lost and couldn't have found my way back to HQ if I'd even tried. Each new section we entered looked exactly the same as the last. It was all just dim lighting and those glowing blue, red, and now orange lines. Part of me was beginning to wonder if we were just running around in circles.

I could hear muffled shouts and digital blasts echoing from beyond the walls surrounding us, coming from somewhere that sounded far away and making me wonder just how big this map really was. Regardless, each zip and every zap that reached my ears had me flinching and almost stumbling over my own two feet as I ran. I was getting more and more on edge with every passing second.

Alright, Elsa, deep breath. In and out. Nothing to worry about. This is easy. This is fun, in fact… or so I'm told, anyway... Just relax and have a good time. It's a new experience. We like new experiences, right? New experiences are great. New experiences can be liberating. New experiences-

"Watch our backs!" Moana suddenly yelled.

I jolted and started to spin around to look back at her, "Wha-?"

She shoved me out of the way, getting us both around a corner to use for cover just as the sound of laser fire reverberated down the hallway we'd just come from. Breathing heavily, Moana gave me a firm nod and a fierce grin. "You're welcome!"

I just stared wide-eyed back at her, panting to catch my breath after all the running. Then she was ducking low and darting across to the other side of the hall, laying down cover fire as she went.

"Damn," Kairi hissed as she and the other two girls pressed their backs against the wall next to me. "How'd they get around behind us so fast?!"

"Embrace the nothingness!" someone roared from the other end of the hall before several blasts went off.

Returning fire, Moana called over to us, "Sounds like its Xemnas! He has someone else with him, but I can't quite make out-"

More rapid laser zaps cut her words off, followed by someone else snarling, "Grovel before me!"

Wait… I knew that voice… but no, there was just no possible way it could actually be-

"Crap," Kairi hissed, face turning stark white. "Saïx."

I stand corrected. Apparently, it could be and in fact was him.

Talk about being a completely different person! It seemed laser tag turned Saïx from Dr Jekyll into Mr Hyde.

As the gun fight grew louder around me, my heart began to pound in my ears, my knees shook, and my mouth went dry. I felt totally paralyzed and had to keep reminding myself that this was fun. Just... oodles and oodles of fun!

Oh dear, I was hyperventilating a bit…

...hyperventilating from all the fun, of course!

Kida was suddenly in front of me. I think she'd sensed my anxiety, because she was gripping my shoulder tightly and giving me a warm reassuring smile. "All will be well, Elsa," she told me calmly, soothingly… right before her face twisted ferociously as she leaned around the corner and shot off her blaster several times while letting loose a banshee shriek, making me flinch. Then she pulled back to reload and look me in the eye again, face serene once more. "Be not afraid."

...right. Okay. I came, I saw, I experienced… I'm done. Where's the exit to this ride? I want off.

To Kairi and Merida, Kida said, "The three of you keep going, find the target! Merida and I will keep them busy here and get them off your backs. Go!"

"Roger! Let's get outta here!" Kairi snatched my wrist, pulling me along with her. Merida shot off a few final blasts down the hallway behind us to help the other Princesses before dashing after us. I took one last look back to see Kida and Moana locked in a heated laser battle with our opponents before I lost sight of them as we took a sharp turn down a new corridor.

We hadn't been running for long when a tiny, red vertical slash lit up in the upper right corner of my visor. Huh… so these things had some kind of display built into them? But what did it-

The overhead speakers let out a long, resounding beep followed by that female announcer voice again, "Red combatant derezzed."

"Yes! We drew first blood! Take that, Organization trash!" Kairi crowed happily.

Ah, so the display was showing me a sort of… death count? I guess? I don't even know. There was a lot going on and I was just struggling to stay sane and-

"Freeze!" a new voice abruptly shouted.

So I did.

I froze.

Because, I mean, that's what you're supposed to do when someone yells that at you, right?

Apparently not. At least, not when you're playing laser tag.

"What are you- ugh, get down here!" Kairi was suddenly yanking me to the ground where she and Merida had dove for cover behind a low barrier just as I heard more blaster shots going off, presumably aimed right where I had just been standing like a deer caught in the headlights. Shaking her head at me, Kairi sighed, "Never fall for that. It's the oldest trick in the laser tag book. Vexen tries it every. Damn. Year."

As enemy fire abruptly died down, presumably so they could reload, Merida sprung up to her feet and released a torrent of zaps from her gun, roaring, "Choke on my laser, ye gutless, lily-livered bawbags!"

"Yeah! What she said!" Kairi popped up from our hiding spot as well to blast off a barrage herself.

Not wanting to feel left out and just now remembering I was in fact holding a gun that I'd all but forgotten about since the match started, I squeezed my eyes shut, lifted said gun up above the barricade and pulled the trigger, blindly firing several shots into the fray and hoping for the best.

Woo, look at me. I'm helping.

As my two teammates ducked back down to reload, Merida shouted, "Don't think I didn't see ye skulking behind that pylon, ye namby-pamby, scone-guzzling twat! Best get running with your tail tucked between those toothpicks ye call legs cuz we got ye outnumbered three to two!"

"My my, that does sound pretty grim for us, doesn't it?" a male, distinctly British voice called back. "But maybe the odds are more in our favor than you realize. By my count, we're the ones who have you outmanned four to three."

Merida and Kairi exchanged a look. Then Kairi scoffed, "You're bluffing!"

"Maybe… then again, maybe not… do you really want to roll the dice and risk it?"

Now Kairi lowered her voice so only we could hear her, "Definitely bluffing. Merida, let's go see if we can sneak around and get the drop on 'em." She then glanced towards me. "Stay here. I'll call out when it's safe for you to follow."

I blanched. "But-"

"You'll be fine, trust me. Just stay down, keep your back to this barricade, point your gun that way," she nodded towards the corridor we'd come from, "and pull the trigger if anything so much as moves. The advantage is yours from this position. We'll make it quick, so just keep your head down and wait for my signal." And with that, the two of them slipped off into the shadows and I quickly lost sight of them.

So I did as I was told. I stayed on the ground, knees hugged to my chest as I aimed my blaster and waited. There was a slight tremor to my fingers. The sound of blood rushing in my ears made it hard to hear much else.

Gosh, this was really just… so much fun.

It felt like an absolute eternity, but it was probably only seconds before I heard the fighting break out from beyond the barrier I was using for cover. Sounded like the girls had found them, as their maniacal laughter mingled with the digital blasts filling the air. Then Kairi was yelling, "We got 'em on the run! C'mon, Elsa!"

Jerking at the sound of my name, I scrambled to stand only to catch my foot on something and crash back down to the floor hard.

Ow.

Elsa, Queen of Grace and Dexterity.

Picking myself back up and dusting off the knees of my leggings, I ran towards where I'd heard her voice coming from…

...only to find no one there.

The area was completely empty except for me.

Fudge, they'd probably gone chasing after Vexen and that British guy, thinking I was right behind them. Which I would have been if I hadn't tripped over my own two friggin' feet. Worst still, I had no clue where they'd gone and three different archways to choose from.

Now what, oh Nimble One?

...should I just wait here and hope they come back for me? That'd probably be the smartest call. Better than blindly picking a direction to run off in and getting myself even more lost.

Several far-off blasts from behind me made me wince.

...then again, I was standing out in the open and an easy target. Maybe it would be better to just select a path, start running, and hope the next person I came across would be one of my teammates. But now, how to choose which way to go?

Eeny… meeny… miny…

More laser fire went off from behind, this time closer and making my heart leap up into my throat.

Screw it, that one, just go!

I didn't even know which hallway I'd picked, I just took off and didn't look back. My feet propelled me forward, not hesitating whenever new forks in the road appeared. I'd just take a turn on impulse and keep going. A left here, a right there, and another right. Far too soon however, I was puffing for breath. I couldn't keep this pace up, I needed a break.

As I slowed to a walk, sweating and chest heaving, I held my gun up at the ready. I was jumpy as I crept along now, twitching at every distant hollar, laugh, or laser burst. Something rattled behind me and I gasped, spinning on my heel and jerking my blaster around to point at… nothing. I narrowed my eyes and kept my weapon aimed behind me as I started inching backwards, heart jackhammering and breathing shallow.

If anyone was back there, they certainly weren't going to get the jump on me! No sir! I was vigilant. My eyes were keen, like that of a hawk! No one was going to be sneaking up on me, nuh-uh, not today, not-

"Pssssst."

The sudden low noise in my ear sent a chill running up my spine, making me yelp and nearly drop my gun. My hands desperately fumbled it for a second before catching it at last and I whipped around to target-

"Lea?!" I squeaked out.

Quite valiantly, I might add.

He'd already leapt back to put some space between us with his own weapon trained on the target over my heart.

So there we were. Locked in a mortal standoff. Our fated clash to the death would soon be upon us. You could all but hear the-

"You're holding your gun backwards, ya know," he said flatly, eyelids drooping.

...so I was. Heh… oopsie. I hastily corrected it, almost dropping it again before managing to direct the barrel at Lea instead of myself.

Now where was I...? Ah, that's right!

So there we were. Locked in a mortal standoff. Our fated clash to the death would soon be upon us. You could all but hear that whistling tune that plays in cowboy movies right before a pair of desperados have a shootout. Only one of us would be walking away the victor here.

...was it wrong that I was starting to relax and feel comforted by Lea's presence?

Yes. Yes it was. He was the enemy! And I had a job to do! To be fair, that job had only just been to play decoy while somebody else took him out. But seeing as how I was the only one here, looks like I'd just been promoted to executioner.

But now, how to get that killing blow? It wasn't just as simple as shooting. I could see the way he was warily watching me. I knew the second I started to squeeze my trigger finger, Lea'd be dodging out of the line of fire and then it'd be curtains for me. I had to catch him off guard first, distract him somehow or-

Ah-ha! This was it! The moment we'd all been waiting for! It was my time to shine!

Alright, feminine wiles… go!

...aaaaaany time now.

Hmmm… nothing.

Alright, you're up, groove thang. Care to take a crack at it?

...I'll take your silence as a no.

Well, fudge. Now what?

...wait! Hold on… something was possibly stirring…

Yes, I think I might be feeling a feminine wile coming on!

Oh yeah. This was definitely it. Get ready, here it comes…

I clicked my tongue and winked at him.

Nailed it.

Lea blinked at me. Then he snerked and choked back a laugh, shaking his head, "What was that?"

I hesitated, shifting my feet awkwardly. "...my, uh... my feminine wiles?"

Now he spluttered, struggling to keep his gun pointed at me. "El. Sugar-darlin'. Honey-boo. I adore you, you know I do. I worship the very ground you walk on and think you're smart, gorgeous, perfect and God's gift to all mankind. But babe… you wouldn't know a feminine wile if one came right up to you and bit you on the nose."

My spine snapped straight and I blushed. "I would too! I… I have feminine wiles!"

"Uh-huh, sure ya do. By the way," he pointed at a spot behind me, "what's that?"

I rolled my eyes at him, "You really expect me to fall for-"

In the blink of an eye, he'd kicked my blaster out of my hands and sent it clattering to the ground.

Huh. Guess he didn't even need me to fall for it. Apparently it was enough for me to just be irked at him for thinking me so easily tricked.

Crud, he was way better at this whole distraction thing than I was.

"Say goodnight, babydoll," he smirked, aiming his weapon at the target on my chest once again. I held my breath, screwed my eyes shut, twisted my face into a grimace, balled my hands at my sides and waited. Any second now, my target would vibrate and beep, announcing I'd been hit and taken out.

...only nothing was happening.

Why was nothing happening?

Slowly, I creaked one eye open. Lea was still standing there, still with his gun pointed at me… but for some reason, he hadn't pulled the trigger yet. Gone was the smug look on his face, now replaced with a tiny, sour frown. He grit his teeth angrily, his blaster wavering slightly before he lowered it and growled, "Goddamnit!" Then he ducked down and snatched my gun up off the floor, holstering it into the waistband of his pants at his hip.

I cocked my head at him. "Lea? What are you-"

That's as far as I got before he was then picking me up by the waist and flopping me over his shoulder like a rag doll. With one hand maintaining a grip on my legs to keep me secure while still holding his weapon in the other, he took off running.

I grabbed at the back of his shirt to prop myself up and turned my head so I could yell at him, "Just what exactly do you think you're doing?!"

He didn't break stride, just kept speeding straight ahead. "What's it look like I'm doing? I'm taking you hostage!"

"But that's not how the game is played!" I snapped back, making a grab for a metal bar sticking out of one of the walls as we rushed past, my fingers latching on.

He stumbled and nearly toppled over backwards, but caught himself. "Shit! Leggo, you lil..." he pried my fingers free before taking off again. "And I can play the game however I damn well like! Deal with it!"

Huffing out a grumbling breath, I just hung my head and let myself be carried off to wherever it was that he was taking me.

Turned out to be the Organization's HQ. I mean, that was my best guess anyway by the look of it, considering how similar it was to the Princess's HQ. The only difference was there were nothing but glowing red lines decorating every surface in here instead of blue.

"Now what?" I heard a voice unhappily mutter. Sounded like Larxene but I couldn't see her to verify, not with ninety percent of my vision being filled up by Lea's upside down backside and the other ten percent taken up by a lovely view of the floor.

"Whaddya mean, now what? What are you guys still doing in here?" Lea asked as he slid me off his shoulder and unceremoniously plopped me down onto one of the benches that lined the inside of the HQ's walls. I started to stand back up, but Lea narrowed his eyes at me and held a finger up in front of my face, "Ah-Ah!"

I sighed through my nose but stayed put, crossing my arms and slouching down into my seat.

Now that I could see the rest of the room better, I was able to confirm that it was indeed Larxene who'd spoken, with Marluxia in here as well. Larxene quirked an eyebrow at me but apparently decided not to comment just yet, instead opting to answer Lea's question. "We're trying to drag this dumb loser off his lazy ass and get him out into the fight," she ground out through her teeth, pointing at-

Oh! Apparently Demyx was in here too! Almost didn't spot him cowering behind that column over there.

Lea groaned, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Crap, this again? He does this every damn year! We seriously need to stop recruiting him!"

"That's what I keep saying!" Demyx piped up. Or rather, his voice did. The guy himself remained in hiding.

"Dude. Why do you bother signing up every year if you don't even wanna play?" Lea shook his head.

"Because Larxene always threatens to taze me until my nose lights up brighter than Rudolph's if I don't," he whimpered, just barely poking his head out now. Then he seemed to spot me for the first time. "Oh! Hey Elsa!" he waved cheerily.

"Hi Demyx," I mumbled, returning a halfhearted wave myself.

Larxene slammed the sole of her boot against the column, making him squeak and hide again. She snarled, "This fuckwit's actually a halfway decent player whenever we finally manage to chase the damn baby out of his hidey-hole and-"

"Lea! There you are!" Roxas suddenly came barreling in through one of the doors, his sneakers skidding to a stop as he doubled over, wheezing for breath. "We've been looking everywhere for you!"

Xion was hot on his heels, stumbling to a halt beside him and huffing, "You shouldn't have run off on your own like that! Why'd you come back- oh, hey there, Elsa!" she blinked at me in surprise, tilting her head slightly. "What are you doing here?"

Marluxia settled his cool gaze on me, "Yes… why indeed?"

Larxene pulled a face and spat, "Ugh, Firecracker! Please tell me you didn't sneak back here so you could make out with your little girlfriend! You seriously need to stop thinking below the belt all the time!"

"Agreed," Marluxia nodded with a frown. "You should learn to show some decorum. Xemnas will be most displeased when he finds out you were squandering precious game time to nurture your budding romance."

Shaking his head and rapidly waving his hands back and forth in front of him, Lea said, "Guys, guys, it's not- Ah!" he exclaimed the last syllable in warning to me as I tried to get up again to tiptoe off. Placing a hand on my shoulder and pushing me back down firmly into my seat, he addressed the others again, "It's not like that! I just-"

"We don't have time for this!" Xion cut in. "Why is half our team just chilling back here at the base? Get all your butts out there before everyone else gets slaughtered!"

Lea batted his hand through the air, "It's fine, Xigbar's out there! That psycho could take out the whole other team solo with one hand tied behind his back!"

As if on cue, two blue slashes suddenly lit up in the upper left corner of my visor opposite of the red one from earlier. Overhead, that synthesized female voice announced, "Blue combatant derezzed," twice, one for each mark.

"See?" Lea pointed up towards the speakers triumphantly.

"Wait…" Roxas's brow furrowed. "...those were the first two kills our team's gotten… meaning…" he was eyeing me now.

"Son of a… she's not dead yet?! Firecracker, you dumbass!" Larxene hissed, whipping her blaster up and aiming it at me.

Lea was quick to jump between her and me, his hands shooting up in a placating gesture, "Woah now, easy there!"

Not lowering her weapon, she yelled, "The hell do you think you're doing, bringing her back here alive?! Just shoot her already!"

"C'mon, give her a break, it's her first time playing!" Lea argued back. "I just wanna make sure she has a good time! She can't do that if she gets eliminated right out the damn gate."

Larxene made a noise of disgust in her throat. "You are seriously whipped, numbnuts. What'd she do to get you to fold like a wet paper towel, just bat her lashes and pout and go," she poked a finger into her cheek and mockingly cooed, "pwease don't shoot me, I'm just a poor, defenseless widdle girl!"

My shoulders tensed and I snapped, "I most certainly did not-"

"Butt out, Princess! This is Organization business," Larxene growled.

Roxas sniggered as he flumped down beside me on the bench, "Ignore her, she's just cranky."

"Yeah, we lurve you," Xion sat down on my other side, beaming and making a heart with her hands.

Lea was rubbing the back of his head with his gun. "Look, I just wanted her to have fun, is that so wrong?"

A scoff erupted from Larxene. "Yeah, sure, cuz getting taken hostage is so much fun!"

"More fun than being dead in the first five minutes!"

She was glaring down at his hip now, something having caught her eye there apparently. "Wait a minute, is that…? For fuck's sake, you brought her gun too, bonehead?! The hell is the matter with you, are you trying to get us all shot?!"

Rolling his eyes, Lea brushed it off, "Relax, I won't let her get her hands back on it. I just didn't want it to get lost or totally busted and for them to charge her with some bullshit replacement fee for the thing. And trust me: me taking her hostage is a good thing."

Larxene fixed him with a dull stare. "...I think your brain is what's lost or totally busted."

"No, hear me out!" He tossed a hand in my direction, "El is valuable to the Princesses and they know she hasn't been eliminated yet. Once they realize we got her prisoner, they're gonna make stupid moves trying to get her back. They'll be easy pickings!"

"It would seem to me that you're the one making stupid moves," Marluxia deadpanned.

Lea snapped his fingers and tapped his nose, "Exactly! That's why the Princesses'll want her back! To make sure she stays in the game and messing with my head! But if we keep her here and alive, then I'm less likely to screw up while the Princesses keep tripping all over themselves trynta to rescue her! It's a win-win!"

The silence stretched for a bit. Then Larxene sidestepped so she could point her blaster at me again, "I'm just gonna shoot her."

As Lea moved to block her again, Marluxia placed a hand on her weapon and gently pushed it down. "No, let's hold off. His plan, ridiculous as it may be, holds some merit. Let's see how it plays out."

Larxene wrinkled her nose and gaped. "You have got to be shitting me." However, Marluxia's stern look brooked no argument. Curling her lip with a tch, she grumbled, "Fine, whatever. But you!" She marched up to Lea, stabbing her finger into his chest several times, "This is your dumb idea, so your stupid ass gets to be the one to watch her!"

"Lea has so just earned himself a date with Larxene's taser after the match," Xion whispered with a giggle.

Roxas snerked under his breath as he looked to me, "Hope you like your boyfriends with enough electricity coursing through 'em to power a small toaster oven."

"What are you two twerps snickering about?!" Larxene turned her wrath on the pair of them now and they both yelped. "Get off your asses, get out there and bring me those Princesses' heads on pikes or don't come back all!" They leapt up to their feet and bolted out of there as if their lives depended on it. Which, let's face it… they very well might've.

Now Larxene's dark scowl zeroed in on the column that Demyx was using for cover as she snarled, "And you!" A terrified squeak could be heard from beyond the pillar. Muttering a long string of curse words, Larxene stomped over and disappeared behind it as well. Then there was a high-pitched scream before Demyx tore out of the base like a bat out of hell. Re-emerging and dusting her hands together, Larxene smirked with a satisfied sigh, "I do so love being part of a team. The feeling of encouraging and uplifting my fellow players can be so rewarding."

Retrieving her blaster from where she'd tucked it into the top of her pants, she glanced to Marluxia and jerked her chin towards one of the doorways. "Now let's go snuff out some Princesses!" However, as she was moving past Lea, she stopped to narrow her eyes at him. "...swear to god, Firecracker, if we lose because of your bullshit here, I'll-"

"Yeah, yeah, my head will be the one on a pike, I get it! Will ya just beat it already?" Lea lazily shooed her away with his gun.

She glowered but said nothing more, simply stepped outside the door and waited for Marluxia. As for Marluxia himself, he walked over to Lea and fixed him with a hard stare. "I trust when the proper time comes, you won't hesitate to pull the trigger," he told him, shooting a meaningful look my way out of the corner of his eye.

"Not for a heartbeat," Lea waved a dismissive hand. Marluxia squinted at him. "What, I won't! I hate losing just as much as you do, Mr Bubble Yum!"

If Marluxia felt reassured, he didn't show it. Regardless, he faced me now. "No hard feelings, of course. See you at rehearsal tomorrow."

"...looking forward to it," I muttered back as he slipped out the doorway to join Larxene, the two of them stealthily sprinting off.

Now that it was just down to the two of us, Lea glanced towards me with a tiny frown. Then he looked away and readied his weapon, poising it in front of him. He began patrolling from one HQ door to the next, keeping an eye out for any foolhardy, would-be rescuers.

The minutes slowly ticked by. Save for the occasional announcement whenever another player had been derezzed, the silence was absolute. Were this any other time, Lea would probably be cuddling up close to me and delightedly chatting my ear off. But not now. Not while there was a laser tag game to be won. Apparently, laser tag was very serious business. At least, if his expression and posture as he stood guard right now were any indicators, that is.

After a time, I released a low sigh. If anyone was trying to come save me, they were certainly taking their sweet time about it. I felt restless. My muscles were stiff from sitting still for so long. So, I gave a small stretch and began to rise to my feet.

In a flash, Lea had his gun's crosshairs centered on me. "Hey, hey, hey! Plop that cute lil butt of yours back down, Missy!" he ordered, gesturing the barrel of his blaster down towards where I'd been seated.

I hitched my chin. "The bench is hard and uncomfortable. Just let me stand and stretch my legs for a min-" I took a step forward and I winced, a soft hiss escaping me. "Ah, my ankle!"

He blinked, then his eyelids drooped. "Please, that lame ol' trick? Nice try, but I wasn't born yesterday."

"It's not a trick, I think I'm really hurt!" I huffed. Then setting my lips into a grim line, I gingerly tested putting some weight on it. "...you must have smacked it against something while you were manhandling me earlier and- ow!" My ankle gave out and I stumbled forward.

Lea instinctively moved to catch me, his arms wrapping around my waist while mine latched around his neck for support. But then his eyes were immediately suspicious and his empty hand clasped protectively over where he had my weapon holstered.

I rolled my eyes at him with a scoff. "You actually think I would go to this much trouble if I were only faking it? All just to get my stupid gun back? Seriously?"

He continued watching me skeptically, his hand remaining steadfast over my blaster. "...maybe, maybe not. Jury's still out."

"Damn it, Lea, this really hurts!" I snapped at him.

I felt his muscles relax somewhat as he puffed out a breath, bringing his free hand up to ruffle at his hair now. "Then why ya standing on it, dummy? Go on, sit back down."

"No," I turned my head to one side with a tiny hmph. "I told you already, that bench is uncomfortable."

"Whaddya expect, it's a bench. You'll live," he laughed incredulously. Then he was carefully shifting me around, mindful of my ankle as he took a seat himself to demonstrate. "See? Perfectly fine. Now c'mon El, please, if you would just-"

I finally sat back down.

Right on his lap.

I felt him tense beneath me. Then he was shaking his head with a chuckle as he brought up his hand to tweak my nose, "Cheeky."

Slipping my arms back around his neck once more, I drew in a deep breath before giving a pleased little exhale. "Ah, much more comfy."

"I would hope so," one corner of his lips twitched up. Then he was setting his gun down on the bench beside him and readjusting me in his lap a bit so he could more easily reach down, gently feeling my ankle. I flinched, sucking in a little breath. His eyebrows knit together, "Sorry… hm, doesn't seem to be any swelling, so probably isn't sprained or fractured. Guessing it just got banged pretty good. Probably only gonna leave a nasty bruise."

My eyes crinkled as I watched him. "...it's sweet."

"What's that?" he asked absently, still cautiously inspecting my ankle.

"The way you always take care of me." I leaned in closer to murmur into his ear, "It's sweet."

Lea stiffened, then cleared his throat as he straightened back up in his seat and laughed sheepishly. "What can I say? Gotta make sure my lady's taken care of!"

I gave him a warm smile before resting my head on his shoulder, my arms hugging more tightly around him as I sighed against his neck with a soft, "Hmmm."

He shivered and echoed a low, "Hm?"

"Nothing really." My fingers began to lightly toy with the hairs at the nape of his neck as my lips brushed along the side of his throat. "Just trying to think of how I might show you my gratitude later."

"...well, I might have a… few suggestions…" There was a gruffness to his voice now as I felt his thumb idly stroking along the curve of my hip.

"Mm, I'd love to hear them," I hummed a quiet laugh as I trailed my hand down his chest, avoiding the target strapped to it as I went. Then I lifted my head once more to meet his gaze while using my other hand to press a fingertip to his lips, silencing him before he could answer me. "But first… told ya."

His eyes hooded as he playfully nipped at my finger before ducking his head down to press kisses to my jawline as he whispered, "Told me what?"

"That I have feminine wiles."

His whole body went rigid. "Motherfu-"

Too late. I already had my gun back, barrel directly up against the target over his heart. I pulled the trigger and-

"Red combatant derezzed."

"Ha!" I dropped the blaster and shot up to my feet, hopping up and down in triumph on my fine, healthy, and one hundred percent pain-free ankles. Lea groaned and slumped down in his seat, thumping the back of his head against the wall a few times. His moping only made victory taste all the more sweet. Giggling, I lightly clapped my hands a few times before holding my palms together, pressing my fingertips to my huge grin.

My tiny victory party of one was interrupted however as someone else suddenly came charging inside the base. I turned and gasped as their feet came to a screeching stop, revealing the person to be none other than that weirdo with the eyepatch.

He took one look at me, both eyebrows shooting up his forehead. "What the…?" Then with a bemused smirk, he aimed his weapon at me, "Oh-ho no, not on my watch. As if!" He fired and, well… as you could probably guess…

"Blue combatant derezzed."

With a self-satisfied snerk, Eyepatch twirled his gun and took off running once more, disappearing out the door opposite the one he'd come in through.

...well then.

My stint as a legendary, professional laser tag assassin supreme may have been brief, but it had been undeniably glorious.

"That was a cheap, dirty underhanded trick ya pulled," Lea said, pulling my attention back to him as he stood up and removed his helmet, shaking out his crimson spikes. Then his lips stretched into a crooked smile, "One I completely saw through, by the way."

I arched an eyebrow at him, biting back a small grin. "Oh really?"

Tucking his helmet under his arm, he then reached out to undo mine as well. "Mm-hm! You were as transparent as a soap bubble."

"If I was being so obvious, why'd you play along then?" I challenged, crossing my arms.

"Rather, the question you should be asking is... why wouldn't I play along?" He ruffled my bangs before offering me my helmet with a wink. "Never have I more thoroughly enjoyed being proven so totally wrong."

I felt heat creeping up the back of my neck as I took it from him, averting my gaze with a dignified sniff. "I don't believe you. I don't think you saw through it at all."

He snorted, scratching a finger behind his ear. "Alright, ya got me. Can't blame a guy for trynta salvage what lil dignity he has left! But damn, El, you've been holding out on me. Where've you been hiding those lil moves of yours this whole time?"

Rocking on my heels a bit, I mulled over it for a second. Honestly, I'd even surprised myself a bit there. Only reason I hadn't been blushing furiously the whole time was because I wasn't really here to fraternize - it'd just been a means to an end. I'd had a job to do. Finally, I gave a tiny shrug, "Suppose I just needed the right incentive."

"That incentive being making me eat crow on this most holy of battlefields that is laser tag."

I smiled brightly. "Bingo."

He crinkled his eyes at me, then sighed and dragged a hand across the nape of his neck. "Shit, the rest of the team is gonna be out for my blood when they find out 'bout this. We're talking torches, pitchforks, the whole nine damn yards." However, he was next flashing me that dimple of his as he retrieved both our weapons, holding them together in one hand. "Still, was definitely worth it for this lil revelation. I'm telling ya, never woulda thought you had it in you, especially not while we were entertaining an audience no less."

"An audience?" I repeated, frowning. Then I slowly shook my head, "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Did you forget?" A half grin tugged at his lips as he pointed up at a corner of the ceiling where one of the arena's cameras could be spotted. "Big Brother's watching."

Just about every last drop of blood drained out of my face.

Fudge, the cameras! All over this damn arena! Feeding a live stream of events as they unfolded here back to anyone watching in the store front! And there had been a lot of people there, meaning…

...every single one of them had just had a front row seat for watching me seduce my boyfriend.

Bolting behind Lea to hide from the camera, my arms clutched around his waist as I buried my now roasting face into his back.

Oh, what I wouldn't give for the cold, sweet embrace of death right about now.

Laughing softly, Lea patted his hand over mine, weaving our fingers together but not removing it from where I still had it clasped against his stomach. "C'mon, we're not s'posed to linger this long after getting KO'd. Let's find a way out. Your adoring fans await."

Remaining firmly latched onto him from behind, I staggered as he began to lead us towards the nearest exit. "I don't think I can face any of them ever again," I muffled into his back. "I am never going to live this down."

"Well, we can hole up in one of the equipment rooms between matches, but that'll only buy you a lil time. Sooner or later they'll hafta kick us out when this place closes up for the night." As he pushed open a door beneath a glowing green EXIT sign, he glanced back at me over his shoulder with a smirk. "But you got bigger problems to worry 'bout now, boo."

I glanced back up at him, gnawing on my bottom lip. "...what do you mean?"

"Now that I know you've got feminine wiles, I'm gonna expect you to start using 'em more."

Author's Notes: It's the face-off of the century, the battle you've all been waiting for… Organization XIII vs The Princesses of Hearts! Gosh, now I want fanart of all of them decked out in laser tag gear and glaring each other down! Could look hella badass! Anyhoo, I think this chapter might have been even more jam-packed with references than that 7th Heaven chapter xD I went with OG Org as you can tell cuz, one, they're my fave incarnation of the Org, and two, let's face it… old man Xehanort would probably break a hip playing laser tag xD And of course, all the official Princesses of Hearts made an appearance, plus a few extras, any of which would get my vote for being one of the mystery New 7 Hearts that were never revealed in KH3! Minor fun fact: If you didn't recognize them, Xemnas's and Saïx's lines were direct battle quotes from the video games. I would've liked to have done the same for Vexen, but I couldn't figure out how to make any of his battle quotes fit, so I took the lame, cheesy way out by just having him shout "Freeze!" xD As for which team won this first match… Princesses finally managed to break the Organization's winning streak, woo! Yeah, Lea barely survived the wrath of his fellow teammates after their crushing defeat xD I was originally trying to figure out a way to fit this laser tag chapter into the main story, but decided in the end it would be more fun if Lea and Elsa were already a couple for it - certainly had more fun with the chapter's ending that way at least ;D

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

See ya next week for the next bonus chapter, which will have a lil more substance than this one xD Your clue phrase this time is... hair dye. What could that possibly have to do with next chapter?! Stay tuned and find out!

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER | | NEXT CHAPTER

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arsenicetvieillesenseignes · 4 years ago

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La sonnerie aigrelette retentit, tandis que dehors l’automobiliste pressé faisait des appels de phares. Un nerveux. Un Parisien. Ils étaient six en java dans une vieille Simca pourrie. Deux nénettes qui se faisaient peloter et quatre mecs complètement allumés. — Alors, esclave, fit le chauffeur, c’est pour aujourd’hui ou pour demain ? — Combien ? demanda Bensoussan sobrement. — Le plein. Tandis qu’une des nanas se lançait dans un long ululement hystérique, deux mecs se mirent à rythmer sur les portières un air de reggae qui sortait de l’autoradio poussé à fond. Bensoussan connaissait ce genre de largués, chercheurs de salades. Par le biais du rétroviseur, le chauffeur ne le quittait pas des yeux. Bensoussan le sentait. Ne pas regarder. Il ne savait que trop ce qu’un simple coup d’œil peut avoir parfois de provocateur. Prudent, il décida de n’accepter que de l’argent liquide. C’était le genre de loulou à payer avec un chèque en bois. Ou à ne pas payer du tout. Cloc, fit la pompe qui en avait à ras du goulot. Vroummm, lui répondit soudain l’embrayage de la Simca en s’arrachant au ciment de la station-service. Ils étaient déjà dans l’avenue Philippe-Auguste que la pompe lui pissait encore sur les pieds. C’était le genre à ne pas payer du tout. (Alain Page, Tchao Pantin, 1982).

Coligny, Ain.

#abandon #stationservice #commercedisparu #enseigne #droguerie #quincaillerie #avia #motul #primagaz #renault11 #ain #citation #alainpage #tchaopantin #coligny

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scowiosis · 3 years ago

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I hadnt even considered the possibility of vlad actually succeeding for real but that would be so good! Vlad would obviously use underhanded methods (mind control or something that makes the wearer trust more easily or maybe even doing a memory wipe on danny and starting with a clean slate?) but clockwork going absolutely ape shit on vlad afterwards with Offensive time powers????

That opens a whole new realm of possibilities; since he cant stop time to affect vlad, he’d probably have to do something more creative like speeding time on himself to move faster; distorting time around vlad instead of on him to mess him up; pariah cant help with fighting vlad cause hes dealing with the observants so when pariah comes back to see clockwork behaving so much like the chaos the ancients spawned from (rather than the cool and controlled “all knowing” time keeper) hes gonna be flustered

I cant see clockwork actually going through with killing vlad but ghost jail? For ghost crimes? That would make sense

The unlucky observants who had to deal with pariah on the other hand… yea, theyre gonna be more dead than they already were

Meanwhile danny’s ghost friends/enemies would be working with sam, tucker, and jazz to help him gain his memories back by traveling to the place where forgotten things are found (in fanfics i see ppl reference a river that makes you forget? So there must be a place where youre able to access what you’ve forgotten) and this is where danny has to do some internal work to find his memories and also ends up learning the memories of his past life

I imagine that danny, even without memories, would still be connected to clockwork and pariah (since they havent been destroyed) and feeling hints of their anger (and anxiety?) and would feel off or wrong about being with vlad in a way he cant figure out. He was told to stay put while vlad took care of the things he had to do, but of course it doesnt go like that cause danny doesnt listen and ends up trying to figure stuff out for himself

And then, with danny having his memories from both lives, the conflict between his feelings for his original parents vs his human ones will come into play and he feels like he has to pick between them and he really wants to go with his ghost parents cause they treat him so well, but he feels bad just abandoning his human ones and his feelings might be more complex depending on where the fenton parents on the bad to good parents scale for this au

What are your thoughts on how the fenton parents are for this au?

Danny waking up to see pariah proposing would be hilarious and i think it would be highlighted even more if thats a memory he has from his past life; pariah, known for proposing to clockwork again and again whenever his emotions towards clockwork get the best of him; pariah being a romantic at heart kinda guy and clockwork being mischievous would create fun dynamic too

With everything going on and danny being in the center of it, theres the potential for an identity reveal

If the fentons try to “protect” danny from the “evil ghosts” who are very obviously after him, it would create problems cause danny doesnt want either of them to get hurt; and then there’s the question: do the ghost weapons actually cause damage to the ancients? Or are they so high level that the ghost weapons dont do anything but sting a little?

Then theres the entirety of amity park watching this go down on the news and seeing danny fenton in the center of it; an identity reveal seems almost inevitable really cause how else would danny explain this situation (with the truth or a really bad lie made under pressure)

I love the idea that fright knight is just done with the whole thing and going along cause its related to his obsession to serve the king (maybe? Idk yet why fright knight serves pariah) and, when hes not being forced to baby sit, hes just enjoying the chaos unfolding

Not sure whether fright knight would be helping pariah take down the observants, back up clockwork when fighting vlad, or be accompanying danny, sam, and tucker but most likely the latter cause of pariah and clockwork wanting their safety

My head has been on blast with ideas after reading your post about danny being clockwork and pariahs kid reincarnated; there is so much potential with that

Clockwork and pariah being mad at the observants cause they had to have known that danny was their kid reincarnated and must have blocked clockwork’s sight so he wouldnt realize that danny is his kid so he would actually end up killing danny, but danny reminding him so much of pariah made him reconsider and also after losing a kid he wouldnt dare take the life of one if he could avoid it

Of course the observants would need a reason to want to have danny killed and maybe its cause they knew that if he wasnt, that theyd be found out and murdered so they keep trying to get him killed and are hostile towards danny in most interactions; maybe the even staged the whole thing that lead to him becoming evil so that theyd have a reason to have danny killed?

Then theres finding out what really happened that caused danny to get killed in his past life and getting justice for that

Im thinking that pariah’s more of an ancient than a ghost of a person since hes with clockwork; his obsession would probably be something related to justice and order and having his kid die? With an obsession related to justice? It would make sense for him to go to the extreme with it and seek vengeance and justice for his child

The potential for this whole thing to be orchestrated by the observants who saw that, if the timeline continued as it was with pariah having a good reign as king, that theyd lose power and, cause they didnt want that, they had planned on killing pariah but, as you stated, that fails and they realize that killing the kid would grant them the same effect and going for that or maybe danny wouldve died cause he tried to protect his dad? Depends on how old he is when he’d died; i think you said he died young so theres the guilt potential if he wasnt old enough to have his own persona yet (like a toddler or elementary school child) but then there’s also the guilt potential if hes a rebellious? Or reckless? Kid whos trying to get the attention of his (too busy) parents so when he catches the attack on his dad of course he tries to stop it and dies and then theres the potential for parental guilt due to this

In the later scenario, it’d actually be better if the observants didnt plan to kill the child and, because it happened, they realized they could take advantage of the ensuing fallout that ultimately leads to pariah dark being sealed away, the observants retaining their power, and clockwork being so focused on his duty and his grief that he doesnt really try anything to stop them

The observants potentially having a hold over clockwork due to some oath form the past would add to the plot and make it so its not just easy destruction; pariah having to redeem himself to the allies he turned against and no longer having the power of the crown or ring of rage would also be important for creating a fun and interesting plot

I love the idea of danny just going with the flow of it cause his core makes him trust them; there was a fanfic i read a long while back where danny was the reincarnation of a prior heir to the ghost throne and how he had started getting dreams that felt like memories or had things that occurred that reminded him of certain things from his past life; im almost wondering if this would be a fun addition to this au or if he’d be too young to have memories at all from his past life

Then theres the other ghosts realizing theyd fucked up big time which is hilarious cause on one hand, angry pariah and clockwork, but also danny wouldnt let them harm the other ghosts so theyd obviously relent for their baby boy; but maybe there’d be some kind of camaraderie that occurs due to this? Maybe skulker helping them uncover the truth or something like that? Idk yet

But the whole plot with the fentons??? That’s gonna be crazy and no doubt stressful for danny cause on one hand, his parents are all he knows even though he knows they arent the best; but on the other hand, clockwork and pariah treat him well and he feels safe with them and something about them is so familiar and he doesnt quite understand it; im wondering if maybe his appearance will change now that his core is connected to his parents? Then theres the ghost biology stuff to consider; is he absorbing ectoplasm from his parents now that the connection is there? Does he gain powers that his parents have due to this? Does he get more powerful now that his ghost half is eating properly?

And when he learns whats going on?? That’s gonna be a lot for him to digest; of course danny wants to help his parents again but theyre wayyy more protective this time around so danny, being who he is, will most definitely get into shenanigans that he shouldnt be getting into which both stresses out clockwork and makes pariah proud cause hes so much like pariah even if he doesnt remember everything

Dani getting added into the mix later on and clockwork and pariah being ecstatic about it; then that creates the question of how are ghost children formed? Their two ancients formed of ideas; is it something that happens cause they wish for it and the ghost zone answers their wish? Is it a sharing of ectoplasm that forms another being that they nurse until it forms into its own being?

And of course, with the fentons being as they are and clockwork and pariah not being cool with it, there’d be the anxiety that danny would have to go through with managing how to handle that whole scenario and being conflicted about what to do; im sure jazz would be involved with this in some way or form as he figures out how the family situation is going to be after this

Id love to hear your thoughts on this!! Also, are you planning on writing a fanfic about it?

No pressure if you dont want to respond!

Hey there! Thank you so much I’m glad you like the AU idea. Sorry I am not planning on writing a fic on this AU sorry.

Yeah I thought that somehow Clockwork’s sight being blocked, like the Observants saw that and put all their effort into making sure that one detail could not be seen, like instead just being static.

The observants would probably want Danny out of the picture because if CW and Pariah find out about him being their kid then that would encourage them to work together again and be a united front and if they worked together again all the other ancients could follow and all the ancients together against them could overthrow them (It’s why they were most definitely not so sad about Pariah going mad the first time after all CW was broken after losing his son and husband and defiantly less inclined to ’act out’ and all the other ancients split apart and the observants were still in power)

I don’t think they’d have been able to interfere and act on making Danny into Dan but definitely saw that one future and pointed it out to clockwork the one who could interact and try to make sure he’s taken care of and pushed very very hard for CW to ‘take care of it’ him not was worrying but…. CW met the boy and didn’t realize so they didn’t think there was a way for CW to realize, both parents met him and didn’t realize they must have gotten off scot-free…and then Vlad did the core thing.

YES! Pariah being a ghost of order/justice is so good him losing his Kid pushing his obsession his domain/powers to the extreme and him becoming a tyrant that is such a good idea.

I defiantly pictured Danny being a toddler or very young child killed in some almost assassination against Pariah…which would totally feed into that justice/order obsession or even protection obsession.

(Or perhaps Ghost Hunters which would make things so interesting with the Fenton’s)

I think the observants didn’t plan but totally took advantage of it like I said before it fractured the ancients and ensured their continued position and power…. It’s why they didn’t exactly warn either parent about what they observed or the possibility.

Oh clockwork having a vow to the Observants is so interesting, and that fic sounds really cool.

Oh yeah all the other ghosts realizing and freaking the FUCK OUT, they would totally help Pariah and Clockwork out and please Phantom tell them not to kill us…please.

Oh yep the Fenton thing would be very awkward (Especially if it was ghosthunters who killed Danny before) he’d defiantly develop different powers maybe completely different from both parents (He could have space powers maybe that would play into the space obsession Danny AU’s) I think he was already much more powerful than an average ghost or halfa but the core connection definitely speed the powers up.

Yeo all of this would be a lot for him, but at least now support structure to help him with everything, 2 very overprotective parents (Overprotective being an understatement) ….and fright knight stuck as babysitter/bodyguard, Fright Knight is stuck keeping Danny out of shenanigans and that is a full-time job and if he wasn’t already dead he would have died of the many heart attacks Danny has given him.

Clockwork is stressed but overly fond because yeah Danny is much like Pariah and him but also stressed out because oh god he’s so much like Pariah and him. Pariah is the parent whose told your son got into a fight and asks did he win? (Although either way he would obliterate whoever fought his son)

Yep Dani getting to the mixed would be so fun. Not sure about the ghost thing maybe core’s mixing between mates?

I can see Jazz somehow getting adopted by Pariah and CW to, her looking over the political state of the infinite realms and coming up with ideas.

Thanks the ask sorry if I didn’t answer everything I’m so glad you like this AU idea =)

#danny phantom #dp #pariah dark x clockwork #pariah dark #fic prompt #clockwork #dp au #dp royal family au #fright knight #reference #dark ages #vlad plasmius #the observants

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itsawinwin-ren · 8 years ago

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“Promise 2011″ | EXO FAN FICTION (semi-AU) | Ch. 3: ‘Some Harm, All Foul’

“Good freaking luck!? You crazy, batshit, insane, mental asylum PSA, Looney Tunes, lost marbled, wizard, psychic, witch, hag, ahjumma woman! I swear to God.” I can't even think about anything else but getting to my dongseangs… IF they are even here. I'm not even sure I'm in Korea at this point, or if I'm sitting in a nut house somewhere hallucinating all of this. I start to read down the page as I cross the street, and I stop suddenly being honked at by a taxi that almost slams into me. “YAH! I'm walking here!” I scream in irritated Korean. I begin to jog my way across the rest of the street. I crumble the “rules” paper and envelope up and throw it in my purse for now. I’m obviously and thankfully still the 2018 version of myself, as I remember Korean, which I didn't know in 2011. Helpful. I glance in a store to see my reflection as I'm rationalizing. Well, I still look my current, I mean, my future age? … 25 not 18 or 19. Great. I also remember the last 7 years, or… the next 7 years into the future from my current position in the timeline? My head hurts from this time travel and alcohol hangover. I'm thinking too hard. I’m NOT Martha McFly goddamn it all! I see the store I tried to buy the aspirin in; I know I'm getting closer to the alley I woke up in. I take a quick glance at the magazines on the street vendor shelves and I'm remembering things from this time in my life. Things I haven't thought about in a long time. This is SO surreal. My eyes light up as I see the old man that was trying to aggressively get me out of his alleyway earlier, sweeping the front of his store. I dodge out of sight, I don't want him to yell at me again. No, thank you. I wait until he's not looking and I dive back into the alley. I look around where I woke up trying to find my friends. On one hand, I don't want them here. It's dangerous and crazy. But on the other hand, I'm hoping I don't have to do this alone. Plus, I don't know if what I do here could make it to where I don't even meet them in the future at all. My head is throbbing from all of this thinking and inner monologue. “Meg?! Natalie!?" I yell walking further down the long alley, my shoes tapping the broken pavement; echoing off the walls. “Lexie?! Are you here!?" I'm beginning to panic the longer I go without finding them. What if they are here, but they got “dropped off” somewhere else?! There's a whole world they could be in! I start to feel a panic attack coming on and I have to stop to slow my breathing. I rest my forehead on ad brick wall closing my eyes. “Unnie?” I hear the most beautiful voice I've ever heard coming from the other end of a dumpster a few feet away. “Lexie! Holy hell! Are you okay?!” I run over to her and drop down on my knees. She's sitting upright against the wall. I pull off my thin jacket and put it around her shoulders, then I wrap her in my arms. She hugs me and chuckles. “Unnie, I've never drank, but is this what a hangover feels like?” “Oh baby, probably…” I laugh with a few tears in my eyes. “What happened? Why are we outside?” “I… you don't remember anything?” She shakes her head. Oh boy. “Okay, well-“ “UNNIE! LEXIE!” I snap my head down to the opposite end of the alley from where I woke up, and my tears double down my face when I see Natalie and Meg coming our way. “Baby, are you OK?” I quickly ask Lexie, who's still sitting on the ground in my arms. “I think so, unnie.” “Okay, I'll be right back! Just… Don't… Move… Okay?! K…” I smile at her standing up. I turn back to the direction of my other dongseangs and begin to run to them. Meg seems to be holding Nat up with her arm around her waist, and Nat’s limping. I immediately feel guilt. I did this to them. Me and my stupid, pathetic love for a man that doesn't even know of my existence! If I do meet you Park Chanyeol, I'm probably going to sucker punch you. Hard. “Holy crap, I'm so glad you guys are OK!” I pant flinging my arms around both of them. We hug each other tightly. “What happened?” I motion down to Nat’s foot she's elevating and I get on the other side of her, assisting Meg with the transport. We start to move slowly back to Lexie who is standing up, dusting herself off. “We're not sure. We both woke up over there behind that building… back there.” I look behind us at the back of the building where the 4 buildings’ converging back alleys are. One of the buildings has a gate and barbed wire surrounding it. Well, that's not seedy at all. Nope. “Well, she could have dropped us off somewhere less shady…” I whisper under my breath. I'm not sure they realize yet what really happened here. I want to break it to them gently, even though, I don't quite yet understand or accept this situation entirely myself. We meet Lexie halfway and she joins in with another family group hug. “Nat, are you OK? Meg?” “Yeah, we're OK, Lex Mex. I'm not sure how I sprained my ankle. Did we help you finish your bottle of whiskey last night and pass out back here? This feels like a massive hangover or something.” Nat laughs a bit. I bite my lip in response. Not even close. “Yeah, I feel like I got hit by a bus.” “I'm not sure. I don't think so.” I reply nervously kicking some rocks with my red Converse. “And not a bus, Meg. A giant clock maybe…” I have poker face as I trail off and I try to not bust out laughing. What? If I can't joke in this situation, what else can do?! Cry? Scream? Pray? Ball up and refuse to life? No. Not my style. “I don't like this at all.” I squeeze Lexie's hand to reassure her. “Unnie what? A giant cloc- wait, where's my phone?” Meg pats herself down and looks around frantically. We join in looking along the alley heading back to where they woke up. I decide to wait a bit to tell them what I think is going on. I know they'll try to throw me into a psych ward or rehab when I tell them. They'll have to come to my conclusion on their own… hopefully they'll accept this reality so we can move on faster to find a solution. We get to the middle of the back of the 4 buildings and after 5 minutes of looking, I spot her phone on the ground in some tall grass next to the fence with surrounding barbed wire. “Oh, Meg, I see it, hang on. I'll get it.” I unlatch my arm from around Nat and Lexie and trot over to where I saw the phone. Every second I'm outside, I'm getting more and more cold. My lips are trembling uncontrollably. I’m not really paying attention as I lean down to pick up her dead phone. Bam! I suddenly fall backwards, throwing Meg's phone, when some sort of ball hits the chainlink fence right near my face. I'm about to unleash hell on whoever threw that at me, which I now see is a soccer ball that's rolling to a stop on the pavement over the fence. My head throbs in response to the sudden stimuli. “Yah! Chincha?! Can't you see I'm on an important cell phone recovery mission?!” I say to anyone who’s listening on the other side of the fence as I stand up furiously dusting off my behind and black skinny jeans. “Oh! I'm so sorry. So sorry!” A voice says in Korean from over the fence. I glance over at him and he's bowing profusely; he's got his hoodie over his head concealing his features. “Yeah, you better be.” I mumble. 2 more guys run over to him and begin to bow and apologize too. “It's fine, really. It just scared me. No harm, no foul, guys.” I say in Korean, as I'm picking up Meg's phone again. I figure I'll need to speak Korean from now on. At least to the people here from this time. “We were just playing some soccer on break! We're sorry again, noona.” Noona? Well, thanks for assuming I'm older than you, you little brats. “Really…” My teeth are chattering, “it's okay.” I finally look up and my breath catches midway up my lungs making me cough and choke a bit. After composing myself, I squint at them. This isn't happening. “Aren't you cold? Don't you have a winter jacket? You're already getting sick!” The tall, lanky one says throwing the ball up in the air over and over. “Uh, yeah. I just, um… got into town. I wasn't expecting South Korean winter weather to be perfectly honest. Do I know you?” Fortunately and unfortunately, I know exactly who they are. “Probably not!” The smallest of the 3 says to me. “I'm Baekhyun, this is Kris hyung…” He motions towards the tallest, “and he's Chanyeol. What's your name?” “I… uh… I… Ren, Ren Baek. Baek Ren. Baek Seoyeon. Laur- Ren. I'm Ren.” I can't even get out my freaking name in this tornado of a scene. But, on the bright side, they now know my name and that I exist. Progress! I TAKE IT WHERE I CAN GET IT, PEOPLE. Touché gypsy ahjumma. Touché. I look back at my dongseangs still standing at the entrance to the alley talking amongst themselves and then back to the 3 SM rookies behind the fence. I literally have no idea what to do at this point. These are definitely not the seasoned, egotistical, untouchable EXO men I've been following for 6+ years. The same ones that looked right through us less than 24 hours ago. “Ren Baek? You're not from here, are you?” Baekhyun grins. “That’s the understatement of the century...” I chuckle nervously running my hands through my long red hair. They blankly stare at me blinking their eyes. I'm normally full of words, but I got nothing. I feel like I'm in a dream or on LSD. When I imagined the day I would meet Chanyeol and EXO, I can tell you… It wasn't like this. STAY ON SCRIPT, EXO. WHY. “Lauren Ashley! Come on!” I look back at Meg calling me irritated. They won't believe this. “Who is it, unnie?” Lexie yells across the courtyard. “What?!” I quickly spin around plastering my outstretched arms, back, and legs against the fence, to prevent them from seeing who I've “randomly” met, causing it to shake violently behind me. They aren't ready. I'm not even ready. “Just some amateur soccer player enthusiasts! I'll be there in a second!” She nods turning back to the group. I slowly turn back around still trying to conceal them. “Lauren?” “Ashley?” The boys say amongst themselves. Thanks, Meg. Kris links his fingers into the fence holes looking at me smirking and stepping closer. “Mmm yeah, that's m-my full name. Everyone calls me Ren though. She calls me that when she's irritated.” I laugh a bit as I look down at my feet and I shiver slightly. “I think I like Lauren better.” The young Chanyeol beams. “Me too. It's exotic.” Baekhyun and Kris nod. Exotic. K… we’ll go with that. “Come on! It's time for dance!” The 3 boys and I look behind them at the double doors, now held open by another young, future EXO member. Well, hello, long haired, crazy cute Suho, leader nim. We're in so much trouble. “Ne, hyung! Nice to meet you, noona!” “Sorry for the ball.” Baekhyun and Chanyeol wave running off towards Suho. I wave at Suho and smile, but he doesn't acknowledge me. Stranger danger alert mode much, Suho? Smart. Keep those sasaengs from well… Sasaeing. You can never be too careful. Noona mode: activated. I shrug and as I'm about to tell Kris to go and not get in trouble, my vision goes dark as something lands on my head. I hear the young Wu Yifan laugh as I pull it off my face slowly, pursing my lips somewhat irritated. I don't like surprises. “Stay warm!” The barely adult Kris runs off yelling back at me in English with a smile that makes me blush. “T-thank you!” I yell back at him before he disappears behind the double doors. It's quiet again with the exception of my friends chatting about 30 ft. away and the obnoxious morning birds hovering around. Get lost. This is no time to serenade me. Do I look like I need to be serenaded by a flock of birds right now?! No. I look down and I bring the hoodie up over my head, then smooth it out. He gave me his hoodie. Of course he did. I sigh biting my lip and prepare to rejoin my unsuspecting dongseangs. “Here's your phone, babe.” “Oh, thanks unnie. Who were those kids? Did he give you a hoodie?” She looks confused and curious. “Uh, I don't know and yes. He said I looked cold. Hey, let's go find an ER to get your ankle sorted out Nat, yeah?” I change the subject quickly looking towards Natalie and she really does need to get it checked out. “It's not THAT bad, but yeah, OK. Let's go. I don't want to miss our flights.” Nat says. I have a feeling we’ll be waiting for those flights for a long time. I return to Nat’s side assisting Meg in helping her to walk once more, and I grab Lexie's hand again. “Seriously though, what happened last night?” Meg chimes in halfway down the street. I'm waiting impatiently for them to get a crash course in our situation at any moment, like what happened to me earlier. I'm struggling to find an opening to tell them. Who knows? I might have just finally snapped and I'm hallucinating all of this. That would be preferable to this. “Oh look, I think that's a walk-in clinic across the street.” I say pointing. It's in Hangul and English. “Why is everything in Korean?” Lexie questions looking around as we walk the crosswalk. “Little Korea?” Nat answers. “I read about this area in my inflight magazine on the way here.” I huff in relief. Sure, we’ll go with that for now. We reach the clinic and I open the door for everyone. A tall Korean woman is standing behind the desk. “Hello.” I say bowing. The others join in my greeting. “I'll get you checked in, Nat.” “Thanks, unnie.” I walk to the counter and tell her what we need to be seen for. She hands me a clipboard to fill out. Great. Hangul it is, even though I'm rusty. I sit down next to Nat and instead of handing her the clipboard, I offer to fill it out for her. Thankfully, she agrees. I fill out what I can and ask her when I don't know the answers to certain questions. “Okay. I think that's it. Sign and date here.” I hold the clipboard as she signs. I smile at her getting up and as I approach the woman, I stealthily scratch out March 19, 2018 and write March 19th, 2011. I have got to tell them. Soon. After a few minutes, a nurse calls Natalie back to get examined. “You guys can wait here if you want. I'll go with her.” I help Nat sit down in a wheelchair the nurse brings over. Meg and Lex nod in approval. Nat and I sit in the exam room waiting for the doctor. I'm praying he speaks English. It's not like we can't understand, but I just don't want Nat to get suspicious when they start rip roaring in Korean. We're supposed to be in Los Angeles. “You OK, unnie?” Nat questions softly. “Yeah, I'm OK I think. I'm more worried about you though, you clutz.” I joke. She scrunches her eyebrows with a thoughtful expression, not the giggle I anticipated. “Wait, I remember we were in the hotel and… ET Korea was on. Didn't Chan and Dara get engaged? You were devastated. After that, it's all hazy.” I cringe inside at the thought of the impending engagement, but I hope the fog will clear. Fast. After a few knocks on the door, a doctor comes into the room. He begins his exam in Korean, but we talk to him in English. I'm beyond relieved when he picks up our queue and responses in broken, but decipherable, English. “Okay, we do an X-RAY now. Be back soon.” We bow and thank him. A few minutes later, a nurse comes in to wheel her off to X-RAY. I’m alone now. Just me and my thoughts. I decide to pull out the “rules” letter again. I better get aquatinted with this before I attempt an explanation to them. God help me. “Rules of Time Travel:” I sigh and roll my eyes. 1) DO NOT try to contact your “past” self or try to meet them. Stay far away from your doppelgänger. The consequences could be disastrous. You could consequently end up not existing at all, past or future. Just because you're here, it doesn't mean your past self disappears. I nod my head thinking this makes sense. I'm just about to read the 2nd rule when the door swings open violently. I jump. “Unnie. We need to talk. Now.” Meg and Lexie are standing there looking half panicked and half angry. I must have a horrified look on my face, because I have a pretty good idea what's coming next. “Show her, Lexie.” “Why does my phone say we're in Seoul, SK?” Lexie pipes up holding her phone in front of my face. She must have found her charger. I let out a breath I'd subconsciously been holding in. “Unnie, did you drug us and fly us over here in the middle of the night?! Just to try and stop this engagement or something crazy?! You know we'd never agree to this otherwise!” Meg stomps further into the room with her tirade. Oh. I’m dying laughing on the inside.

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artugattino-blog · 5 years ago

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Lavomatic

Tu veux pas m’accompagner à la laverie ? Histoire d’éviter que l’ennui ne me tej’ dans le tambour maxi format spécial couette pour imbéciles heureux, celle dans laquelle on se prélasse en amoureux les dimanches pluvieux …

Évidemment que non, qui vient faire sa lessive dans le 7eme, un mardi à 14h – à part la grand-mère qui me force à faire ma BA de la semaine. Seuls avec ces tambours qui vrombissent, je n’arrive même pas à lire deux pages du dernier Damasio. Alors je fixe, l’air livide, le tourbillon de linge difforme à travers le hublot. Ça va de plus en plus vite, 13 min left qu’il m’indique.

Et merde j’ai encore laissé un briquet dans une poche … clac cloc clac cloc, manquait plus que ça pour que je parte dans un état d’hypnose. Comme si j’avais pris je ne sais quel stupéfiant, ou bien serait-ce juste une remontée de celui de la veille. Il ne me manque pas grand chose pour me voir à l’intérieur.

J’avais jamais fait le rapprochement mais l’analogie du lave-linge me séduit au final. J’avale des fringues comme des émotions, des sentiments. Puis j’y saupoudre ma mélancolie et y verse un zeste d’amertume. C’est un très bon adoucissant ça, ma prof de français aurait aimé. Une douce amertume oxymore ta mère. Puis je ressasse mes vêtements, les imprègne pendant de longues rotations. On dirait presque que je les rumine. Que je les mâche. Quand ils n’ont plus de goût et ne ressemblent plus à rien, il est temps d’accélérer le mouvement, d’empirer la situation. 1200 tours/minute, je les essore. Les presse. Les agglutine contre mes parois. Ce barnum me file la nausée mais ce n’est pas encore fini, 2min left.

Eh oui chère madame, c’est toujours pas fini, et je suis à deux doigts de rendre mon repas de midi. Qui consistait en un café serré et une clope mal tassée. “Je suis lessivé” lui répondis-je … elle n’a même pas osé rigoler. Sans doute que tous les anxios qu’on lui file sont en train de monter tout comme moi devant mon hublot.

Bip sonne le glas de cette étrange digestion. Et enfin je peux dégueuler mon linge propre, tout seul. Même pas le temps de faire sécher ça chez moi, je repars ce soir … c’est parti pour le séchoir géant. Mais là je préfère les mots de Damasio que mes conneries. La vieille est partie, seul reste le souffle sourd de la laverie.

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universallyladybear · 6 years ago

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tcrouzet · 7 years ago

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Lire, jouer, écrire avec Lovecraft

Initialement publié sur tcrouzet.com

C’était une nuit de l’été 1984, fin août, un soir d’orage. Il pleuvait sur le parking de la résidence où je logeais à Montpellier, il pleuvait aussi autour du manoir que nous explorions à la recherche d’un assassin, suivi de meurtre en meurtre jusqu’à la demeure de son enfance, celle où nos pas nous ramènent presque toujours avec nos démons.

Sur la table, des bouteilles de Coca, de jus de fruit, des cendriers débordants de clopes, quelques dés, des figurines en plomb, jamais d’alcool, les esprits devaient rester clairs. Autour des étudiants, cheveux gras, mal sapés, mal rasés, yeux brillants. On ne les surnommait pas encore geeks. Mais voilà, ils étaient là, ils murmuraient pour ne pas attirer l’attention. Des gouttes d’eau dégoulinaient des arbres. Cloc. Cloc. Un grincement. Le goutte-à-goutte reprenait. Nous n’étions pas fiers, pourtant il fallait avancer. Pousser la porte vermoulue. Le vent s’était levé. Les branches d’un platane grattaient la façade du manoir. Ou peut-être c’était, dehors, vraiment je veux dire, sur le parking. Une tornade soulevait des feuilles mortes comme si nous étions en automne.

Nous avions tous lu L’Affaire Charles Dexter Ward, La couleur tombée du ciel, Dans l’abîme du temps, L’Appel de Cthulhu. Quand nous ne lisions pas les nouvelles de Lovecraft, ou de ses épigones comme August Derleth, nous les réinventions nuit après nuit, au risque le jour venu de passer pour fous, parce que nous racontions nos courses poursuites, nos combats, nos blessures, nos terreurs face à des monstres abyssaux échappés du fond des âges.

Dans les restaurants universitaires, dans les cafés, nous ne parlions pas des dernières fêtes, mais de nos parties de jeux de rôle. Nous vivions dans un monde immense, démesuré, qui étendait la réalité jusqu’aux confins de l’univers et du temps. Rien n’était impossible pour nous du moment que nous pouvions l’imaginer, et notre imagination était sans limites.

Nous avions conscience d’expérimenter quelque chose de neuf, comme la génération psychédélique avec le LSD. Notre drogue, c’était un jeu social, un jeu collaboratif, sans notion de vainqueur ou de perdant, c’était surtout et avant tout une expérience esthétique intégrale. Entrer dans une des plus grandes œuvres littéraires du XXe siècle, se l’approprier, la remixer, l’habiter. Je lisais les lettres de Lovecraft, je le suivais au quotidien pour mieux comprendre son univers. Je refaisais les trajets entre son appartement de Providence et la cantine où il rejoignait ses amis. J’étais Lovecraft, chacun de ses personnages, de ses monstres, de ses rêves et cauchemars. Il a dit : « Tout ce que j’ai écrit je l’ai rêvé. » Nous, tout ce qu’il a écrit et rêvé, nous l’avons joué.

Nous n’étions pas des acteurs, nous n’obéissions à aucun script, nous pénétrions dans une autre dimension de l’existence par la porte que nous ouvrait le maître du jeu. Nous n’étions pas en représentation. Nous étions nos seuls spectateurs avec pour seule ambition de plonger plus loin, d’explorer une autre possibilité de la réalité, un autre niveau de conscience.

Quand les deux dés à dix faces roulaient sur la table, le rouge pour les dizaines, le noir pour les unités, la Ford T sautait au-dessus de la rivière ou au contraire s’y noyait, le couteau atteignait sa cible ou la manquait, la folie nous frôlait ou nous ravageait. Un film, un livre, une pièce de théâtre, un concert jamais ne nous procuraient d’aussi fortes sensations. Pour une partie, nous étions prêts à tout lâcher, les amours, les cours, jusqu’aux examens pour les plus pénétrés par l’extase.

Nous avions la certitude illusoire d’être à part. D’être affranchis. De défricher des possibles. Avec toujours cette difficulté de ne pas comprendre ceux qui ne nous comprenaient pas. Pourquoi la plupart des étudiants se contentaient-ils encore des drogues anciennes ? Pourquoi la nôtre ne leur faisait-elle rien ? Pourquoi le jeu de rôle restait-il marginal ?

Il exige peut-être une topologie cérébrale particulière, une pensée réticulaire plutôt que linéaire. Je l’ai pressenti en initiant au jeu mes fils et certains de leurs amis. Quelques enfants franchissent immédiatement la porte. Elle s’ouvre devant eux, leur main se pose sur la poignée, ils la tournent et changent de dimension (et mes fils, comme si je leur avais transmis le don). Les autres, plus nombreux, se maintiennent en deçà.

Quand le maître leur dit : « La vieille route monte vers le sommet de la montagne », ils ne voient quasiment rien, là où un joueur en puissance sent la poussière de la terre battue, les cailloux prêts à rouler dans le vide, la résine des sapins dans la vallée, la neige des cimes, le ruisseau au pied du glacier, les frémissements de la nature, les bêtes à l’affût. Beaucoup de geeks ont ce pouvoir. Il les fait geeks, et geeks ils font le jeu, avec art, avec mesure, avec un goût évident pour l’indicible si cher à Lovecraft.

Tout ce qui ne peut être dit il faut le taire. Pas de grandes descriptions, d’envolées, d’excès de qualificatifs. Juste esquisser. Poser la montagne. La route. Éventuellement un pont branlant. Ne pas en révéler davantage, laisser les imaginations s’enflammer, entrer en résonnance, créer des déflagrations plus fortes que la réalité.

Le jeu de rôle est un art minimaliste, avec beaucoup de place pour le silence, pour les interstices que les esprits bien vivants peuplent et démultiplient. Un scénario, en lui-même, n’aligne que des faits. Il n’est pas plus art que le cahier des charges d’une installation dans un musée. L’art jaillit au moment du jeu, éphémère, non enregistrable. Il s’oppose à la numérisation du monde, à sa reproduction mécanique infinie, il ouvre une brèche qu’il réserve à la seule vie. « J’y étais ce soir-là et c’était extraordinaire. J’y étais et c’était un chef-d’œuvre. Il ne se répétera jamais, vous ne me croirez pas, je n’en aurais pas moins connu un frisson qu’aucun collectionneur milliardaire ne se payera jamais. »

Oui, de la fierté d’avoir éprouvé tout cela, et comme une satiété, une sorte de satisfaction. Plus aucune envie d’aller déterrer des trésors bien réels ou de faire fortune. Quand j’ai commencé à travailler, je suis entré dans une nouvelle histoire. C’était sérieux comme un bon scénario, avec tout le sérieux consacré à la beauté, mais seulement avec elle, sans le poids des emmerdements quotidiens. J’étais dans une grande partie, sauf que mes collègues ne jouaient pas. Je pouvais leur faire très mal. Ils ne soustrayaient pas les points de vie à leur feuille de personnage, mais à leur compte en banque ou à leur amour propre. Il valait mieux fuir. On ne joue bien qu’avec d’autres joueurs.

François Bon, dans ses textes dédiés à Lovecraft, qu’il traduit, qu’il ausculte, qu’il suit à la trace jour après jour, évoque « la force et la densité de l’écriture, sa capacité à susciter un monde ». Le jeu de rôle a le même pouvoir, il suscite des mondes, et aussi de la littérature, il est de la littérature orale interprétée sur une base écrite, le scénario. Il incarne une des métaphores littéraires les plus anciennes : la nuit, près du feu avec les lucioles des braises, l’aède brode tel un jazzman autour d’un thème ; ses auditeurs reprennent le fil, l’entraînent vers l’imprévu, il s’agit bien de littérature, d’une autre littérature, encore non identifiée maintenant que l’aède/maître du jeu n’est plus le seul conteur, une littérature fille en toute logique d’une époque qui place l’interactivité au premier plan.

Lovecraft entretenait une passion pour les géométries non euclidiennes, pour les portes dans les recoins des murs qui ouvrent sur des espaces vertigineux. La littérature jouée au cours d’une partie appartient à ces dimensions distordues jusqu’à nous faire perdre le sens du temps. Cinq comploteurs, le cul sur leur chaise, les mains sur la table ou agrippées à la clope, jouissent en égoïste. L’art pour l’art n’a jamais atteint un tel sommet. Le génie narratif, le suspens, la tension psychologique, les frémissements des corps, une fossette qui se crispe, un rien et le récit bascule vers l’imprévisible, vers une séquence avec laquelle il faut jongler, comme un Dieu qui jette des atomes vers le ciel et doit les faire retomber en une forme immédiatement cohérente.

Je retrouve ces plaisirs quand j’écris. Partir sur une idée, une esquisse, contempler des embranchements s’ouvrir d’eux-mêmes, les emprunter vaille que vaille. Un personnage s’ajoute, il a une relation avec un autre, je leur déniche un tiers qui les relie dans leur passé. Les choses se compliquent, s’obscurcissent. Je me fiche de savoir où elles conduiront, seule la route importe, celle de l’écriture, de la lecture, du jeu. Trois perspectives convertibles l’une en l’autre et que je confonds très souvent parce qu’elles se fertilisent.

J’ai cessé de jouer à la fin des années 1980, quand je me suis mis à jouer en grandeur nature, aussi quand je n’ai plus réussi à renouveler le jeu. En tant que scénariste, j’étais arrivé devant une espèce de barrière. Impossible d’aller plus loin, d’augmenter la dose du psychotrope. À cette époque, j’ai également commencé à « écrire » pour chercher ailleurs. Alors le jeu de rôle s’est déplacé pour moi. Il est devenu littéraire au sens traditionnel, mais cette littérature doit tout à cette forme antérieure, presque ésotérique, sans aucun doute initiatique, car on n’y vient jamais seul, mais toujours avec un guide, un peu comme les anciens Grecs qui entraient en philosophie avec un maître. J’ai eu des maîtres en littérature comme Lovecraft, Flaubert, Proust, et des moins connus, dont les prénoms, suffisent à les immortaliser : Denis, Jean-Hugues, Gilbert, Alice, Michel, Jean-François, Sylvie, Christophe… paradoxalement de grands lecteurs, comme par hasard.

Cette immense famille se divise entre les joueurs majoritaires et les rares maîtres, les uns et les autres pouvant échanger leur rôle, mais chacun avec une préférence bien marquée. Un joueur naturel peut animer un scénario, mais en écrire ne le passionne pas le plus souvent. Par analogie avec le théâtre, et elle ne vaut pas grand-chose, on a d’un côté des interprètes et de l’autre des auteurs, les hybrides également doués étant les exceptions qui confirment la règle.

Autant les joueurs peuvent lever le pied, moins jouer, autant les maîtres-scénaristes doivent tout donner. Leur art n’accepte pas le dilettantisme. C’est toutes les nuits qui envahissent tous les jours. Alors quand l’extase s’efface, quand le dépassement paraît inaccessible, et surtout quand on l’estime impossible, la retraite s’impose. En tout cas, j’ai effectué ce choix. Je me suis retiré du jeu de rôle.

J’ai arrêté le jeu non par manque de temps, mais parce que j’ai perdu la fulgurance du poète. Comme Rimbaud, j’ai renoncé pour mener d’autres guerres et vendre des armes. Je n’ai pas été le seul. Beaucoup de mes amis joueurs aussi ont perdu de leur virtuosité, de leur génie d’improvisation, de leur inventivité fabuleuse. À un moment donné, un rouage s’est bloqué en nous. Le jeu de rôle exige peut-être un don de l’enfance préservé le plus tard possible dans l’âge adulte. Je ne suis sûr de rien, je ne théorise pas, j’évoque mon ressenti.

Un lien éventuellement à suivre avec les illuminations des mystiques, des philosophes, des artistes, des scientifiques… Ces brusques surgissements du tout autre dont parlent Gandhi ou Sri Aurobindo. Elles frappent les jeunes spontanément, le plus souvent avant la trentaine. Cette capacité à l’extase est peut-être nécessaire pour faire de nous des joueurs de l’imaginaire. Après, ça devient plus difficile. Nous devons recourir à la méditation ou à des substances exogènes. Bien sûr, l’existence de cas particuliers et de phénomènes ne saurait contredire une tendance générale.

Un joueur âgé risque d’être blessé par mes commentaires. Qu’il n’oublie pas que je suis certainement plus âgé que lui. Je pleure les lumières perdues, mais sans nostalgie, parce que j’en ai trouvé d’autres, tout aussi grisantes en même temps que plus classiques. Avec le jeu de rôle, j’entretiens un rapport du souvenir. Cette expérience est irrémédiablement liée à une époque glorieuse de ma vie. Je ne la regrette pas et ne cherche à la ressusciter qu’avec mes enfants, pour les initier et que d’eux-mêmes, éventuellement, ils ouvrent les portes qui me sont désormais fermées.

D’autres joueurs de ma génération ont peut-être réussi à franchir la barrière. À transcender le jeu. Mais comment dépasser l’indépassable ? Cette impossibilité seule explique ma retraite. Je suis allé au bout. Je n’ai pas eu la lucidité immédiate de Rimbaud. J’ai tenté d’escalader l’obstacle, et je m’y suis cassé la figure. Alors j’ai renoncé, mes amis les plus créatifs avec moi.

Jouer pour jouer n’avait plus d’intérêt. Jouer pour passer le temps ou nous retrouver entre potes aurait été un sacrilège. J’ai joué pour vivre, non pas pour fuir une vie peu aventureuse. Il existe ainsi dans tous les arts des voies qui se ferment pour quelques auteurs ou même pour leur génération. Je l’ai accepté.

Le jeu de rôle a quelque chose de rock’n’roll : jeune on y atteint son meilleur, après on s’assagit. Dans certains domaines de l’art comme dans les mathématiques, les œuvres de génie sont presque toujours à chercher au début des carrières. Alors on change de registre, on expérimente des formes compatibles avec la vieillesse. Voilà que je vous raconte mes choix, comment j’ai basculé d’une écriture à une autre et même à d’autres.

Si durant ma vingtaine un de mes scénarios avait été édité par une maison prestigieuse, j’aurais peut-être persévéré, je serais devenu un professionnel du jeu. J’en doute. Je n’ai jamais eu besoin de personne pour continuer dans une voie que je croyais mienne. J’ai arrêté le jeu parce que j’en avais fini avec lui autant que lui avec moi.

Une brève histoire, commencée en 1980 avec le numéro 4 de Jeux & Stratégie et sa couverture sur Donjons & Dragons, une histoire lancée en 1983 à Montpellier quand je rencontre des joueurs et écris aussitôt pour eux, achevée avant la fin de la décennie. Rétrospectivement, j’ai l’impression que ces quelques années pèsent plus lourdement dans mon passé que toutes celles qui ont suivi, un peu comme ses deux années de guerre d’Algérie pesaient dans la besace de mon père, en tous cas d’un semblable poids en mots.

Pour lui tout s’est arrêté par la démobilisation, pour moi par un échec, la fameuse escalade interrompue avant le sommet. Je la comprends mieux aujourd’hui. J’ai tenté d’effacer la distance entre le scénariste et les joueurs, de confondre les rôles, de faire que tout le monde écrive et joue en même temps. Je n’y ai pas réussi, malgré quelques expériences rassemblant parfois une trentaine de participants. Je me suis vu dans l’obligation de conserver un démiurge, selon les vieux principes de l’auteur tout-puissant, et donc il était préférable d’en rester avec la littérature à l’ancienne.

Depuis, beaucoup de jeux collaboratifs inspirés du jeu de rôle ont été inventés. J’en ai testé quelques-uns, tous s’ancrent dans le ludique et nous éloignent de l’art, bien en deçà de ce qu’un scénariste en état de grâce atteint avec ses joueurs. Je n’ai retrouvé cette sensation que bien plus tard quand j’ai commencé à bloguer, à publier jour après jour, à la vitesse de la pensée, donnant l’occasion aux lecteurs de réagir, de critiquer, de proposer, de façonner. Alors le blogueur devient une sorte de scénariste, toujours tenté de réduire la distance avec son public de lecteurs/joueurs, jamais capable de l’annihiler.

À vingt ans, je suis ainsi tombé sans en prendre conscience dans le dernier grand mouvement esthétique du XXe siècle et qui préfigurait celui à l’orée du siècle suivant. Les critiques n’en ont pas encore pris la mesure. Il faut dire que nous formions une bande d’énergumènes chevelus, guère sexy, souvent boutonneux, éparpillés aux quatre coins du monde. Aucun New York ou Paris ne concentrait notre école, mais plutôt les sous-sols des amphithéâtres où par hasard nous poursuivions des études, parce qu’il le fallait bien, parfois les arrière-salles des maisons des jeunes, ou quelques villas secondaires délaissées durant la morte-saison. Tout s’est joué dans l’indifférence de l’intelligentsia de l’époque, alors occupée par des considérations dont nous avons déjà tout oublié.

Une esthétique radicalement nouvelle ne peut naître sous les projecteurs. Il est question avec elle de narration non linéaire, d’interactivité, de polyphonie, d’immersion mentale et physique, d’expérience totale et collective. Un cocktail unique dans l’histoire de nos arts, à la frontière extrême de la littérature, mais à coup sûr encore dans son champ, et encore très loin de celui du jeu vidéo.

C’est mon point de vue bien sûr. Qui explique pourquoi j’ai arrêté de jouer à force de trop attendre du jeu. J’ai cherché ailleurs et j’ai trouvé dans les arts une espèce de quintessence esthétique, jusqu’à réinventer une écriture interactive avec le blog. Boucle bouclée. Affermie en quelque sorte. J’ai dorénavant une bonne base pour continuer la route. La certitude que tout cela participe à une histoire, la mienne, celle aussi de ma génération, et de toutes celles qui lui succéderont, et qui à leur tour ouvriront la porte mystérieuse cachée par Lovecraft dans le coin d’une chambre biscornue.

PS : Texte écrit en 2015 quand j’ai commencé à retravailler L’Affaire Deluze.

#Deluze #NetLittérature #une

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