#CEPHALOPODS TAKING OVER MY LIFE

[bard4u]

CRIES AND SOBS AND CRIES AND SOBS INTO HANDS WHILE SINKING TO THE FLOOR

[vickysaurus-art]

One paleoart for each period since the Cryogenian

Thanks to the timeline on my walls that I've been trying to fill in with my art, I have now reached the point where I've done paleoart for every single period of the Phanerozoic, plus the Ediacaran and Cryogenian! That is to say, every period of the last 700 million years. So with that milestone, I thought it'd be fun to go through those periods in order and show off one paleoart of mine for each!

Cryogenian

In the Cryogenian, the Earth completely froze over. Twice! Life wasn't much to look at yet, but I enjoyed drawing what our planet might have looked like at the time. The girdle of lakes at the left is the equator, which may have had ice-free patches.

Ediacaran

When the ice retreated, animals first began to blossom into their endless forms most beautiful. Ediacaran life was strange and quite unlike the creatures that would come later, but it was nonetheless an incredibly important chapter in life's history. Here we see the Ediacaran weirdos washing up on shore after a storm.

Cambrian

The Cambrian explosion brought much more recognisable creatures. But one thing that's easy to miss is that they were all tiny! All of them? No, Anomalocaris was, with a length of about 40 cm, the dragon of the Cambrian.

Ordovician

Life continued to diversify in the Ordovician, and among this diversity were the cephalopods. They produced the largest animals yet to exist, the orthocones, who hung vertically in the water column and decended upon their prey like a claw game.

Silurian

Although fungi and bacteria had already made forays onto the land deep in the past, things began to get busier there in the Silurian. But these horseshoe crabs, and their larger cousins the sea scorpions, have not come to the shore to stay, but to mate and lay eggs. Unfortunately for the horseshoe crabs, they have come to the very same shore.

Devonian

Our own vertebrate ancestors, like Tiktaalik, were pretty late to the party, only taking their first steps on land in the late Devonian. That's no knock against them - there was plenty to do underwater! This Tiktaalik is busy guarding his eggs while his mate is busy hunting, for example. Who has time to step on land?

Carboniferous

The end of the Carboniferous saw some quite large bugs, like these two Mazothairos chasing off an interloping Meganeura. They're representatives of a pretty interesting group of basal insects called the Palaeodictyoptera, who have a set of weird little extra wings on their thorax.

Permian

Among the many fantastic creatures of the Permian were our own cousins, the synapsids, like these lovey-dovey Moschops. As you can see, this picture and the previous one are done in coloured pencils instead of watercolour, because they're the oldest images I'm including in this post. I only very rarely used watercolours before this year. I think it means I should do some more Permian art, it's such a cool and underexposed period.

Triassic

One mass extinction later, the archosaurs are diversifying all over Triassic Pangaea. Here we have the three main groups of them: Paratypothorax, a pseudosuchian in the background; Peteinosaurus, a pterosaur on top of the cliff; and Procompsognathus, a dinosaur climbing the cliff.

Jurassic

I had three different option for Jurassic paleoart to showcase, so I picked the most experimental one. These backlit insects are not butterflies, but kalligrammatids, a group of large-winged neuroptera, some of which even mimicked maniraptoran dinosaurs like this iridescent Caihong with their patterns.

Cretaceous

The Cretaceous featured some of life's most gorgeous crescendos of diversity, like the Yixian formation, where a Psitaccosaurus wants to visit the favourite tree of a group of Sinosauropteryxes, who are having none of it. This is still one of my favourite pieces I've ever drawn.

Paleogene

The Paleogene featured some of the highest global temperatures of all time, leading to tropical climates all over the planet, including at this lake in what will one day be Messel, Germany. Darwinius, a close cousin to our own ancestors, is having a staredown with the lizard Geiseltaliellus.

Neogene

The world turned colder and dryer in the Neogene, leading to the spread of large grasslands, like these South American ones. Phorusracos, a large terror bird, has caught a Thoatherium on the edge of the forest they both live in. South America was an isolated continent for the duration of the Neogene, leading to a quite unique fauna.

Quaternary

The Quaternary, our current period, is marked by the cycle of ice ages regularly freezing the northern hemisphere. But even during the ice ages, spring would come to the mammoth steppes, and these steppe mammoths are happy to celebrate its coming with a bath in the river.

[rassicas]

We are getting playable Cuttlefish in Splatoon 3.

i dont like saying im totally certain about predictions, but the evidence is so subtle, yet so very intentional in the exact way that the splatoon team would do if they were trying to hint at something. (under the cut because long post)

I’m sure some of you have seen PandaUniverse’s tweet introducing the cuttlefish evidence. first two images are from that tweet, putting it out there that i cant take credit for those.

exhibit A: train station gates

the splatoon team foreshadowed OE before release with a blocked off train station in inkopolis square....this seems even more obvious? no entry for squids, mysterious 2 finned squid thing can enter? exhibit B: weird hat

again, two finned squid thingy like in the ticket gates. i saw some ppl saying “its just a weird octopus” but like. why would the splatoon team purposely model an octopus hat super weirdly? also @sprousprou​ sent me a better image:

that is not an octopus lol After i saw the tweet, i remembered a thing that me and my friend dodo were scratching our heads at a few months ago while we were reconning all the s3 stages for details, because... Exhibit C: that’s a fucking cuttlefish

again, 2 fins. found in Mincemeat Metalworks, it’s in the same style as the Angry Squid and Angry Octopus graffiti that’s been seen before.

So how do I feel about this? well... not even a month ago i thought it would be weird to expect a new playable species, but the evidence feels so undeniable now. but i also mentioned in that ask, cuttlefish are pretty much the only species that would make sense with current lore. being ink-producing cephalopods in real life, unlike nautiluses or dumbo octopuses, i would expect cuttlefish to be ink-based shapeshifters like the inklings and octolings. and we have seen cuttlefish in splatoon’s canon before... albeit only once in the japan-only octo expansion artbook....and they look a lot like inklings. However i find it a bit... weird... that they’d be introduced like this with next to zero build up, unlike the playable octolings which were hinted at from the first game. i’m also deeply concerned about the idea of this truly becoming a pattern, like the splatoon team potentially introducing a new species in each DLC, leaning on "play as this New Guy” as the main selling point and not “play this cool story.” I also would prefer if they just expanded on customization for octolings and inklings and not added a new species. but i guess it’s splatoon 3, gotta have 3 species too. and ill take it any day over salmonlings also in the aforementioned ask, the only justification i could think of for a sudden introduction of cuttlefish would be that they happen to live super far away outside of inkadia/splatlands. combine that with the knowledge that the DLC is more than likely going to be a world tour of some kind...well, that’s probably gonna be the reason for their introduction: they just live far away. tl;dr im feeling 100% sure cuttlefish are coming to splatoon whether we like it or not

[wishfishy]

When I first heard that a new Endless Ocean was going to be released, I was incredibly excited. Just absolutely over-the-moon excited. You see, Endless Ocean 2: Blue World (also called Endless Ocean 2: Adventures of the Deep) is one of my favourite games of all time. Scratch that: it is my favourite game. It was far from perfect, but I loved it dearly and happily sank hundreds if not thousands of hours into it.

EO2 is a diving game for the wii that was released in 2010, and I have never been able to find a game quite like it. The main story was a bit cheesy, but charming and engaging, with a bevy of likeable if occasionally one-note characters, and the game itself had surprising depths (diving pun fully intended). The game had 12 different diving maps in 6 locations and while the specific areas were fictitious, they were based on very real places (the South Pacific, Mediterranean Sea, Red Sea, Arctic and Antarctic Oceans, as well as a freshwater river in the Amazon) and this was reflected in the species found in each area, with a few exceptions here and there.  You could explore shallow coral reefs, a sunken castle, ancient temples, abyssal depths, a kelp forest, sandy beaches, riverbanks, hidden coves with murals, and much more. You also had a small private island as a hub location, a personal reef you could decorate, and a public aquarium which you could fill with any of the non-legendary species you discovered.

Speaking of which, the game featured 340 different species of marine and freshwater fish, sharks, rays, marine mammals, penguins, shore birds, reptiles, crustaceans, cephalopods and other invertebrates. Some of these also had different models for young or different genders. You could find truly miniscule species that most other diving games overlook entirely in zoom-spots (such as gobies and nudibranchs), and you could interact with most by feeding, touching or even riding in the case of large marine life. And on top of this you could also find legendary creatures, which could be individuals of extant species with unusual colouring or size, or even extinct species, and could be exceedingly hard to find but entirely rewarding.

This is already getting to be much too long but on top of all this you could customize your diver character, buy things for your island hub, decorate and populate a private reef to propagate and release fish, create various aquarium exhibits, discover a great many side-quests, upgrade equipment, take and sell photographs, heal sick animals, search for and sell salvage, find collectable coins, train dolphin partners, take requests for guided tours, dolphin shows, salvage and photos, dodge or placate aggressive sharks, and more that I am probably forgetting. It’s been a while since I’ve played the game, as I no longer have a wii and don’t have the first clue on how to emulate games on my PC. All this is to say that this game was something special, and I have never been able to find anything remotely close to it. And seeing as how the last one was released almost 15 years ago, I had long given up hope for an Endless Ocean 3.

And then lo and behold, a trailer dropped from out of nowhere for Endless Ocean Luminous! And it was releasing in a month! Holy Shit! What!? Yes!

But alas, the more information came out about the game, the more that excitement started to wane. A focus on multiplayer? Procedural generation? Only one map? The only character being an AI that sounded like all those awful tiktok voices? To be clear, I wasn’t expecting Luminous to be the next GoTY. I wasn’t even expecting it to be an exact replica of EO2, or continue the storyline. If it had even a fraction of what I liked about the previous game I was going to be one happy camper. I assumed that the marketing was focusing on the multiplayer aspect instead of the single-player story, that hopefully the procedurally generated map was exclusive to that multiplayer. Surely the single player mode would extend past what little was shown in the trailers. Some things seemed promising, such as an advertised 500+ species, and even more prehistoric marine life. But again, alas, what I have seen since the release is the barest and palest reflection of what I enjoyed about the previous game. I could understand cutting some content, such as the dolphin training and shows, considering the controversy of cetaceans in captivity. But it seems like there is no aquarium, no central hub of any type, no characters beyond the aforementioned AI and a single faceless diver, salvage reduced to a single click, an incredibly reduced story consisting mostly of scanning fish, no ability to feed or interact with fish and fish behaviour also seems to be quite reduced. At least photography still appears to be in the game, though its unclear to what point. Are there still photo requests? The ability for some critters to swim along with or attach to your diver looks cute at least. But everything I’ve watched so far just feels so… lifeless. Empty. As if the whole game was AI generated, which I’m at least %75 sure isn’t the case.

But I’m left kind of baffled by the direction that this game was taken in. I’ve been trying to find any information about it’s development with little to no success. Why the focus on multiplayer to the exclusion of a single player story beyond the bare minimum? What lead to the choice to have a single, procedurally generated map instead of separate, smaller, but more scientifically accurate maps? Or even a single smaller but purposefully designed map? Was this game more like the previous games at any point in its conception or development or was it always intended to be such a departure?

[superluigiglitchy]

Some more stuff on my "Meggy gets raised by Mario and Luigi" au that I still haven't figured out the name of

Because of her being present Mario is considerably less chaotic and less of an asshole when he gets a face full of meme energy from the guardian pod but still pretty chaotic and stupid (basically a himbo)

This also has me making up dumb lore and I can't help but stuff @duckapus Splatoon ocs into Splatoon related aus so Paige basically runs away from home a lot sooner and ends up running into a disguised Callie and Marie upon arriving into Inkopolis after sneaking onto a metro train at the tender age of 10 whilst on the hunt for their missing older sister, Meggy whom was always talked about in hushed voices by their parents

Obviously this leads to Paige getting taking in by the Cuttlefishes

Yes this does in fact have the Cuttlefishes desperately hide the fact their essentially secret agents in increasingly more ridiculous ways on to lead to Paige following them sneakily into the manhole and finding out themselves cause why not

Mario and Luigi as I said decided to take a vacation to Inkadia with Meggy in order to learn more about her and her culture, this takes place when she's like 8 and during this she also meets Sam, Heavy and Kenji and ends up hitting off with them instantly whilst Luigi and Mario were discussing with a CPS member on how to care for a cephalopod child they were causing mayhem and chaos as toddlers do, go figure

Also during this trip the Superstar Siblings decide to watch and ongoing Turf War match and watch the Splatfest Champion Wren tear up the competition and little Meggy is instantly star strucked, silently slipping through the safety bars of the stands while Luigi and Mario were distracted to rush over to the champ himself when the bros. Found out they immediately had a heart attack and end up thanking Wren after he saved Meggy from being indirectly splatted

As a direct effect of Mario not being stupid, Peach is more tolerable of his shenanigans and not much of a prissy bitch so the Anime Ban doesn't happen however this does lead to a different arc

The Anime Cases Arc

In which Tari ends up put into a lead role and has to figure out a strange mystery in Inkopolis where dozens upon dozens of inklings have been disappearing over the last few weeks and ends up helping a Koopa Troopa named Detective Koopric and his adopted mouser daughter Daisybelle or Belle for short in solving this case after both Kenji, Sam and Heavy telk her they havent seen her in awhike and thought she was just hanging out with the glitchy gang (which was obviously not the case considering the fact the reason Tari asked about Meggy was because Mario worryingly asked her to help them find the missing inkling since she didn't come home on time) which obviously leads to some... Must justified panic

Not only that but Axol seems to be missing as well, which is understandably suspicious considering it lining up with the beginning of the disappearances

The events of the rest of the arc mimic that of the anime arc only with one difference

Desti doesn't die but is instead heavily crippled no thanks to Sephiroth piercing an area of nerves that mimic the spine leaving her in a coma, and even if she does its likely she'll never be able to walk normally again not with the state her nerves were left in, she'll need to use crutches for the rest of her life or a wheelchair even

Meggy now human (and recently reunited with the sibling she never knew she had, boy that was a reunion that's for sure) is extremely guilty over the state her friend has been left decides to fulfill her promise she made with the octoling

Win the Turf War Tournament

[calethelettuce]

SaSi Prinxiety Week 2/7: Feathered Fallacies

Prompt: Feathered Wings

Tags: @prinxietyweek

Synopsis: [Fallacy (noun): A false or mistaken idea.] Logan does an experiment incorrectly. To put it simply, Roman accidentally gains a pair of silky white wings. Virgil's simping over- I mean admiring how hot the Prince looks with them.

Relationships: Romantic Prinxiety

Characters: Brief Appearance Logan, Roman, Virgil

TW: Small panic attack, Remus being mentioned

~

“Erm…. Logan?”

Logan sat at his desk, working on schedules. He looked up as he heard Roman call his name. “Yes, Roman?” He called back, taking a sip of his coffee- was it actually wine? Who knew.

Roman paced outside the door. “We’ve got a problem!”

Logan leaned back in his chair, raising an eyebrow. “Which is?”

“It’s better if I show you.”

Logan stood up, adjusting his tie and glasses. What in the world could be so important? He unlocked the door, it open. He pauses mid-movement, looking Roman up and down.

“Roman, how on Earth did you manage to gain wings?”

Roman crossed his arms with a huff. “Gee, teach, I wonder. Think about it for a second.”

What- Oh.

Logan internally cringed. “You were nearby when I was working with those chemicals, weren’t you.”

Roman have him a look that clearly meant that he was. “No shit, Sherlock! Fix this right now!”

Roman’s newly gained wings lay folded against his back, the feathers a dove white. They were fairly large, though not large enough to be considered an issue fitting through doors. They were rather beautiful, Logan had to admit, although the princely side clearly wasn’t enjoying it much.

Logan sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “This is why I specifically state that nobody is to come near my house when I’m working with chemicals.”

Roman shrugged. “Patton said you might have an extra jar of Crofter’s! I ran out!”

“Terrible excuse.” The blue tied side summoned a clipboard and a pen. “Now, about your issue…” he scribbled a few things down before continuing. “I’m unsure if there is a cure I can conjure this very second. I’ll get back to you when I find one.” Logan went to close the door, but Roman placed a hand on the doorknob.

“What do I do in the meantime? If Remus finds out they’re about to be fried chicken wings.”

Logan thought about it for a moment. “Go to Virgil.” He forcefully closed the door this time, relocking it.

Roman groaned in frustration. “Damn you, scientific laws of the Mind Palace!!”

“I heard that!”

“Oh shi-“

~

“Virgil, stop petting them.”

Virgil ran another hand over the soft and fluffy feathers. “No,” he concluded, “I will not.”

“You’re acting like a five year old right now!”

“Okay, well you’re the one who decided not to listen to Logan!”

Roman felt a shiver run down his spine as Virgil continued to run his hands along the wings.

It wasn’t very often that Virgil was interested in things. But these wings? The greatest thing he’d seen his whole life. Period.

“So you can feel this?” He asked.

Roman was not about to admit he was enjoying this. “Sure can, emo. Can you stop that? I don’t like it.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow with a smirk. “Your face says otherwise, you royal pain in the ass.”

The prince blushed, scoffing. "Does not!"

Virgil rolled his eyes. "Okay, okay, fine." he removed his hand from the feathery limb. "There, are you happy now?"

Roman stared at him. "No." He grabbed Virgil's wrist gingerly, placing his palm back onto his wings. "Keep going."

"You confuse me."

"Just shut up and do it!"

The two sat in silence as Virgil continued to pet Roman's wings.

"They're very pretty," Virgil mused after a while, examining the feathers, "What the hell was Logan even doing that day?"

"I have no idea." Roman adjusted his sash, brushing off any possible dirt or lint that could have gotten on it. "I did see Remus at the door, saying something about 'cephalopods' and tentacles, but that was it."

Virgil hummed in response. "Your wings need to stretch," he concluded, standing up, "They look tense."

"Oh! Okay." Roman stood up as well, observing Virgil's room. Very emo. Just like him. "Shall we head to the Imagination, then?"

"You want me to come with you?" Virgil looked confused.

Roman gave him a soft look. "You're the only side I trust with this right now and Logan's busy. Patton would probably die from cuteness overload, Janus is Janus, and Remus- well, I don't want to become fried chicken."

Virgil snickered. "You got that right. They'd probably taste like glitter."

"Haha, very funny." Roman playfully nudged him in the side. "Now come on! I can sink us out!" He placed his hands on the purple-clad side's shoulders and sunk them out.

Virgil shrieked, not expecting the sudden change of gravity. He latched onto Roman, as he randomly shot out any curse he could think of.

It was certainly different than sinking into Thomas' house.

"Woah, are you okay, Virge?"

Virgil's breathing was rather heavy as he clung onto the prince from the side. "HOLYSHITDON'TFUCKINGDOTHATTOMEAGAINOFISWEARTOGOD-"

“Hey, hey! Breathe.” Roman brought him into a hug, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “4, 7, 8. Remember?” His tone was hushed, soft and caring. “Breathing is good for you, yeah?”

“We’re imaginary you- you dipshit.” Virgil was surprised he even managed to get that sentence out. His chest was tight and gee, was he shaking.

“Focusing on breathing, my prince.” Roman supplied, holding him in a gentle embrace, “you can cuss me out later.”

Roman helped Virgil sit on the ground next to him, keeping a protective arm around him. They were quiet as Virgil focused on his breathing.

The sides sat on a grassy hill, surrounded by flowers. The Imagination’s castle was in the distance, it’s winding and tall towers looking small from their spot.

Roman carefully opened his wings for the first time, being surprised at how big they really were. They looked much smaller folded, he decided. He tried flapping them very slowly as if he already knew how to use them.

Virgil had become much calmer by then, and watching intently.

Roman gave him a bright smile. “I have to admit, they are rather cool.”

“They really are..” Virgil cuddled up to Roman’s side, smiling. “I’m kind of sad I have to see them go.”

Roman chuckled. “Me too.”

The red-sashed side extended a wing, carefully folding it over Virgil’s like a blanket. “For protection,” was what Roman said, “Just in case.”

Virgil scoffed playfully. “Protection from what? Your terrible humor?” He pauses. “…it feels like a weighted blanket.”

Roman beamed. “Well, you look tired, creeping beauty. Why don’t you take a nap? I’ll protect you.”

Virgil blinks up at him. “Oh, okay. If you say you.”

There’s a blissful silence between them as Virgil drifts off to sleep. Roman observes the fluffy clouds, before looking down at his dark and stormy knight. He pressed a gently and loving kiss to the top of Virgil’s head. “Have a good nap, dear.” He whispered with a smile.

Roman wasn’t too happy when Logan called him a few minutes later.

“Not now, nerdy wolverine!”

“But-“

“If you wake Virgil up with how loud you’re talking through this receiver I’ll kick your ass.”

“Okay. I’ll just text you. Don’t do anything stupid.”

Roman rolled his eyes and hung up.

On the other side, Logan rolled his eyes as he grabbed an unopened bottle of red wine. “I can’t deal with this shit right now.”

He drinks half the bottle.

~

Listen, I just wanted some Logan in this- I thought it would be funny

[fipindustries]

my own take on the doctor

of course i toyed with very many different iterations on how i would like to write my own regeneration of the doctor, i have done everything from the manic to the somber, from the affable to the stern, from the artist to the scientist.

the most recent one that i actually got really invested in would be this: Jennyanydots the gumby cat, mixed with Minerva Mcgonogall and Mary Poppins, but the one from the books. The Mary that was a lot more serious and maybe even a bit menacing while still being a whimsical magical nanny.

we've had our fair share of manic, energetic, wacky doctors. and we've had our fair share of bombastic, larger than life passionate doctors giving these big poetic speeches about how heroic they are and what is the meaning of kindness and how much of a big damn hero they are.

here i would aim for a more pragmatical, phlegmatic doctor. one who lets the impact of her actions speak far louder than words. she would walk in, back straight, face calm into any battlefield and with devastating brilliance stop the entire conflict without so far as getting a spot on her clothes. this would be a doctor of precise, clear words. one who doesnt break frame and who is tightly in control of herself at all moments, who always knows how to follow protocol, wether it be the proper manners for drinking tea amongst airborn psychic cephalopods, how to properly land a ship careening into a colission course with the rings of a planet orbiting a neutron star or how to tie your shoelaces.

of course there would be place for fun and whimsy. She would be the kind of teacher who chides her students from misbehaving or pulling a prank but then couldnt help but let a cheeky vulpine grin slip into her face at the end because, fair enough, the prank was rather clever.

she would affect this really prim and proper attitude and yet an unexpected cuss or a completly deranged statement would come out of her, said with the most serious face ever. her humor would be as dry as paper, with which she would make a paper plane to fly over the enormous heads of those she is mocking.

she would show the wonders of the universe to her companions with the genuine love and passion for knowledge and learning as miss frizz or jane godall, if there is a moment where she has no compunction in getting her hands dirty it is when it comes to getting on her knees in the mud to enthusiastically teach someone about a really weird 4th dimensional fungus that only grows on the aurora borealis of planets.

of course her attitude doesnt stop her from being cosmopolitan and affable, she would have a kind genuine smile for every single person she meets wether they be a drunken brigand in the 16th century with a heart of gold or a creature made entirely out of slime, no person would be ever beneath her no matter their class, station, biology, identity or species. and she would try to instill this same attitude to her companions, for example

-please, do not stare dear, it is rather rude -but doctor! they have seven eyes! -well, dont let that make you self concious about your conspicious lack of eyes then

Her design

for the sake of diversity points, and also because i think it would look genuenly cool, i would go with a middle eastern woman in her 50's, with an air of math teacher, but also emphasizing her adventurous side.

couldnt decide between these two. maybe the fist but make her a bit less balenciaga hot, a little older, probably a little less "ethnically ambiguous" (thanks dalle-3). or the second with the hat of the first one and no hijab (it feels weird for the doctor to have like explicit religious attire, imagine seeing them with a crucifix)

if she wasnt french i would choose Laetittia Eido

sadly she's french so we would have to go with the closest birtish equivalent.

Her regeneration In

i would try to break tradition so that she regenerates before the third act of the current story. usually regenerations happen AFTER the mayor conflict has been dealt with and the bad guys defeated, in here i would have it so that she regenerates and then goes on to defeat the bad guys, with the previous doctor deliberatly pulling it as an ace up his sleeve, last ditch attempt or a last minute power up.

the way to make it clear who she is would be that, whilst the previous person regenerated spread eagle, arms in the air, she would immediatly snap into a more tight pose, then do a series of checks for eye sight, hearing, pulse, and hand eye coordination. (she is taking her sweet time to do this while explosions are going all around her) afterwards she shakes off the dust of her shoulders and says something along the lines of "well! now that that is quite done... back to bussines" and she goes on as if nothing happened.

if there is a companion nearby kicking up a fuss about how how strange this all is have her patiently but firmly explain this is all perfectly normal and no reason to make a big deal out of. if the companion or whoever insists that she used to be a man and now is a woman have her do some pithy comment like "i am a gallifrean, dear" or maybe "is not that much difference between one or the other, is it? although i suppose for you humans there is"

her overall arc

I like to think of each regeneration as saying something about the doctor as an overall character, each one's overall personality being an evolution or a response to what he did before. 9 as the weary, ptsd ridden man trying to process the recent war crimes in the time war, 10 as the man in the process of falling into denial and megalomania to cope with the guilt, 11 as the manchild who regressed in emotional maturity to be fully compartimentalized away from it all. then comes a break after going back to fix the time war and once he got rid of the guilt and the horror of having killed his entire race he is left confused, not knowing who he is any more, 12 is a way to take one final look back at who he used to be (the fact the he is back to a classic who look, a cranky old man with a stern look) whilst figuring out who he wants to be moving forward. and then 13 was her exploring new ground, reinventing herself, starting fresh. (although ill admit, i am not really familiar with jodie wittaker's tenure as a doctor of if this holds any water through out her series).

in an individual sense, her arc would be about going from a hypercompetent hardass, who uses her expertise and intelect to be a bit aloof and keep people at arms length because deep down she is afraid that if she is not perfect and in control at all times then the horrors happen, companions are left to die or worse and civilizations fall. and turning into someone who can relax a bit, who can trust others to handle things on their own, who can relax and not have to be in perfect form at all times.

within the larger context of the series i would like her to be in some sense a return to basics, her going back to the original formula, to what has proven to work in the past. is in many ways the doctor struggling to find comfort in old habits but eventually learning that she can move past them. i will leave it open to whoever comes next to decide what they want to do with the doctor afterwards.

her bowing out

i would have her regeneration being finally the one moment of big sentimentality in her series.

she is with her companions, in fact i would have her be surrounded by a multitude of people she just sacrificed for, many of them the friends and allies she made through the series.

i would have her try to keep her cool at first, put on a brave face for her friends but then deciding that its ok, for once to be vulnerable and allowing herself to break into tears ("i must confess... i am rather afraid of this whole process, i always am, and i always try to face it with a brave face but... maybe for once...i just wish it werent so") and the multitude of people she saved console her and reassure her that she did great and that she will be fine. for extra schmaltz i would have an orchestral rendition of "for she's a darling good fellow" play in the background. one final teary smile from her by seeing all this support, maybe even an actual bow or a curtsy and then finally letting go by saying "thank you my dears"(*), cue regeneration.

(*) yes, this is in fact a reference to the musical cats, fucking sue me.

[flaray25]

A Therapy Friend By Your Side

THIS FIC IS SOMEHOW CAN RELATE TO HOW PEOPLE ARE STRUGGLING/DEALING WITH DEPRESSION EVEN IF HOW I AM TOO.

<probably take this from your point of view on how you see negativity and positivity of life :)>

From the saddest moments of Squidward's life, had pressured him down to his knees. Falling hard from depression as he pressumed. Crying harder and harder from second by second, he was lonely.

A lonely old person who would die all alone that no one would come even if he died. Much better for him if he was DEAD already. But he couldn't do that either.

Squich came around, she was far off like how childish Spongebob would act. And sometimes she's just like how Squidward acts from time to time, but she's not that mean like him.

Into the space where he-himself alone...

Got down to his knees and cried. He didn't know what he was even doing. He didn't know why he ended up like this. Day by day, penny from penny, bills, bills, loans, bills again, some payments...

He was tired. He was unlucky, a loser, a loner, a sad and stupid ugly-

A plop of footsteps can be heard approached to him.

Squiches Millfenson. What was she doing here? Can't she see how down Squidward is right now? How- disgusting he looks? Why? Would some octopus like her would come up to the likes of him? He was an outcast.

"It's you." His voice deepened the tone, "are you here to also make fun of me?" "No, but I'm here to talk things out." She leaned against the wall right beside to Squidward.

"What could you possibly say anything? You're just like the rest of them- even Spongebob says that- that- stupid- COMFORT TALK!" He slammed his tentacles down to the ground. Anger roared, but sadness ruled over. Tears overflowed his eyes.

He knew he was weak.

"And so what if he still goes on with those comfort talks? Squidward, he cares about you. No matter how much he tried, he always thought about you to!"

"He's insane... he's not my friend! I DONT EVER consider him my friend! Spongebob is... he's..."

The cephalopod grumbled.

"Insufferable and- a doofus- NEPTUNIC- IDIOTIC- MORON! He doesn't know what I'm going through! He doesn't know WHY I'm like this! He-"

"Even tho Spongebob couldn't help dealing with your own pains- atleast he tried... He literally came to you, he hugged you, he made sure you weren't alone from those darkest hours in your entire life. Squidward Tentacles. Have you forgotten? Spongebob may not know what you've been through- but he kept you company, he stayed there and listened to the problems you've dealt with. Your unluckiest moments turns to the luckiest thing when he's there. Call it a luck but- you're lucky to have him."

Squidward's eyes were staring down at his own tentacles, could what have Squich been saying was true? Was he really "Lucky" to consider that SquarePants. Was the only one he needed? A bit of a joy- a positive side. Ray of his sunshine to make those things he kept to him. Fade away?

"You... you... c-can't- be serious... him?" "Trust me on this Squidward but to me honestly, if you didn't have Spongebob with you, what would you be in this situation right now?"

Squich pointed out to his tentacles. The urge of what the cephalopod was saying, was ridiculous to say. He should've thought first before he act.

Until it hit him suddenly..

"You're... you're just like me..." his head rose to look at her, her eyes staring down to the octopus feeling bad.

After he said those words, she stayed silent. Squich is a complicated person but she has the heart to pour it in.

Her gaze looked down to the ground, feeling her own emotions rise tense. That nostalgic yet a pain feeling. The traumatizing days she fought. She kept. Silent.

"God- dammit- You- YOU! You've been through something like this and you turned out- COMPLETELY FINE! I-" He couldn't believe it.

She had it burried down there inside of her.

Sadness and pity.

Empty and hollow.

Burden and lonely.

Like his.

But she turned out just like Spongebob.

Happy and Caring

Kind and sweet

Nice and optimisstic.

Like Spongebob.

... everything turned out fine for her... why... WHY...

Why couldn't Squidward do the same?

"You... son of a- everything worked out fine for you! You're completely stable! How... HOW... WHY..." Squidward looked at Squich who frowned by looking at Squidward.

Such pain Squidward kept inside him.

"WHY... WHY CAN'T YOU CRY?!"

"BECAUSE I CAN'T!"

Squich's loud voice shut him up...

Everything, her expression, her action, her emotion...

She was showing her truth.

That look from her face completely shook Squidward, Squich realize what she was doing. "I- I mean..." she backed away covering her mouth for a moment.

"Someone... once told me... 'crying is for the weak' I don't cry in order to not break my Father's rule. And especially even if how weak I am right now, I come to pretend that I was some strong and brave person even if I'm not."

She slowly sat to the ground, thinking about those darkest days of her life. Gave her a headache just by looking back at it.

"We can relate Squidward, but we're not the same. We can relate to saddest things, darkest past. But they aren't all the same. I changed for the better, because I moved it all. They were all in the past, it may be stuck on your head for that but you had to fight it, ignore them. And think about the bright side of life. Because that's what we're worth of fighting for, worth of surviving for."

"If those darkest memories you have doesn't stop, they really matter. It doesn't mean that if you're a loser then you'll continue to down grade yourself and say that you really 'are' a loser and continuously you'll keep on repeating whatever negative things people say to you then turn out to be the bad and meanest person you are. Then you aren't changing, you're suffering even more."

Squidward also leaned his head from the wall right beside Squich hearing her talk.

"If someone says- you suck. Do you want to believe that you ACTUALLY suck? Suck on something? Talentless? Loser? A nobody? No. No one has the right to intrude to how your brain is interacting with those bad thoughts and process to your heart to cry it all about it. Even if you kept it there for too long. It's not right. If it's pointless to them then SCREW those people."

"You Squidward Tentacles, are a talent and have lack of passion between arts and music. You have your own purpose. And a life. And no one can just say those meanest words for you to think bad stuff. Because once you did, you can never get it out. But you can if you could atleast try. Like how Spongebob did to his own."

"You can't assume someone who seems to live all happy and doesn't care at all- doesn't have these bad things. Some also happen to have this- even for him. For you as well. But you know how Spongebob did it? He bloomed. He changed. He decided to ignore those words away as if like they were just bugs. Like how I did it. And it would be your turn once you have the courage for it.

You must fight. And live."

Squich gets up on her feet, looking down at Squidward once again to lend him a tentacle.

"So I'm asking you this once again- are you gonna let this remain or are you gonna fight it? Because no one atleast you, deserve to deal with it."

His eyes were now staring at Squich's tentacle, he had no idea how Squich had manage to talk atleast all of these things- these feelings- Squidward had dealt with- and just- made him rethink again.

For those words to turn out to be letters all scrambled up from his head like it meant nothing at all.

Spongebob had dealt with it from the past, he faced it back whenever their boss took the spotlight of reminding him he was simple.

And he didn't care about those words after Eugene said that. After the town was saved all again by the poriferan himself with his team.

Squich was empathetic, much to Squidward's greatfulness to have her understand.

"No, I won't think much about it and start looking for the bright side as long as it makes me feel great." He caught her tentacle and gets up from the ground.

"Good, as much as I could tell- Spongebob is probably-" from a distance there was Spongebob waving at her and Squidward.

"Yep he's right there-" "Squich thank you... for speaking out loud... I was... kind of a jerk-" "don't say that to yourself- it was completely your big assumption between of how good a persons life is remains all good with no problems to deal with. Besides from all of that- you don't need to feel sorry for yourself about it."

Squidward wiped his tears before Spongebob could see him close. "Squich! Squidward! I knew it was you two! I could recognice you guys almost clearly far away- anyway- what's up? Why does it look like Squidward was crying?" "No I wasn't crying!" The cephalopod defended himself.

"But it looked like you were... you know what? Nevermind- maybe I was delusional- ahem- I wanted to ask if it's okay for me to invite you two for a 'hang out' this weekend?" Squich looked at Spongebob with a smile, eyeing to her side. Squidward was definitely staring at Spongebob. She could tell.

"Not me- I'm sure Squidward could if he wants to! I have upcoming commissions to finish and especially those hardest details-" a buzz on her phone caught their attention.

She pulled it out to read the front screen that it was from her sister. "Oops- that's my que- gotta go!" Squich purposely pushed Squidward to take the hand of answering his question and leaves.

While running towards the location to her house, she smiled. How lovely the day was, how nice it is outside, more happy she could ever be to know that someday Squidward would change into a better person because someone right there who is mostly right next to him keeps them away.

It's not too late to change. Especially to other people.

Change isn't something to mention about-

It's meant to bloom.

Darkest days fade them away

By a simple person who can talk to you

To let it all out

To have someone there

Atleast for the good.

It's something worth you're fighting for.

A lady dropped her wallet as Squich hurriedly picked it up before a man steals it and kicked his face without making the lady pay attention.

She sneakly puts it back to her bag without her knowing and ran happily.

She was glad to help someone.

Glad to change.

[splattales]

((Not sure how many of you are following the Queenie/Eelrune fluff since it's kinda side-story, but as a diehard fan I wrote a little fic a few months back and I want to share it here. Got the go-ahead from @grandpa-cephalopods - since I was experimenting with perspectives too. ))

((It's set before the human rocketship stuff happens, but apart from that it's pretty self-explanatory mushy stuff lol. Under the cut.))

Coughs and Sneezes

It was Eelrune’s day off. Her plans for a family visit had been cancelled due to transport issues, leaving her without much to do. She’d had a shower and watered her garden but was now struggling to find another means of occupying herself. She could read, or watch TV, or even try to study—but none of it felt particularly appealing. Something to drink, perhaps? That could waste about … five minutes…

After making herself some tea, she sat on the sofa to think. It was quiet. Things had been quiet for the past week and a half. Queenie hadn’t been visiting the clinic lately. She usually showed up every other day after work—Eelrune always finished much later. But recently, the human hadn’t shown up at all. Or called, or texted. Perhaps she was busy, but Eelrune had been contemplating the possibility that her friend had simply lost interest. After what she’d shared of her life; the little she did in her free time … it was highly possible Queenie found her boring.

Eelrune glanced at her shellphone. She could initiate a call herself, but knowing someone as talkative as Queenie, if she’d wanted to chat they’d be on the phone already. Then again …  the human was prone to stumbling into dangerous incidents. What if something had happened to her?

Before Eelrune could begin wording her message, the phone rang. Startled, she answered at once, barely registering the caller ID—but it was someone she knew. “Hello?”

“Oh, Eelrune—” The high-pitched, teary warble of a voice reminded the nurse of Marina’s first visit to the clinic, where she’d burst through the door crying like Queenie had died. “It’s Queenie, she—”

“Has something happened?”

“Well—sort—kind of? I know you don’t know everything about human illnesses, but T’s phone is engaged, I don’t know who else to ask, I really need your help…”

“Okay, try to calm down. What’s the problem?”

Marina took a long, whimpering inhale, trying to control herself. “Ohhh… She says it’s fine, but you know how she downplays stuff all the time. She’s really sick, she only gets out of bed to throw up, she keeps sneezing and snuffling, and she can’t stand up for long…”

“That certainly doesn’t sound good…” Eelrune considered where she left the human handbook. This didn’t seem like a situation where she’d have to operate, but the details on human anatomy and bodily functions might help with a diagnosis. While it seemed like Marina was overreacting, it had been worrying enough that Queenie had kept this to herself. “I’ll come over and see what I can do. Where do you live?”

Silence fell on the other end at Marina’s pause. Not a snivel could be heard. As Eelrune was about to ask again, the octoling finally said, “I’ll meet you at Grizzco Industries and we’ll go from there.”

Once she’d collected her things, Eelrune set off to meet Marina. She hadn’t picked up much, most of the useful equipment was at the clinic, but the handbook and a purse-full of medicine would be enough until she could determine which to use.

Grizzco Industries wasn’t hard to reach, but the octoling wasn’t prompt about appearing, and it was an unpleasant place to stand around. When Marina finally did arrive, Eelrune was losing her patience, but she held her temper for the fretting girl. Besides, she’d used the time to revise human anatomy. It had some surprising similarities to other species.

“Sorry, I … got lost,” Marina mumbled. “I can find my way back, though. For sure. We can’t take too long.”

Eelrune nodded. “Lead the way.”

Marina seemed certain of her lead, though some of her turns felt a bit directionless, making it clear to Eelrune why she’d become lost. Eventually, though, they arrived at the outskirts of Splatsville, where a large lone caravan stood.

“Here we are.” Marina gestured before stepping closer.

“Where—the caravan?” Eelrune’s eyes darted around. “You both live here?”

“Yeah,” Marina confirmed, not registering the confusion in her voice as they started up the entrance. “It’s real close to the dig site I work at, so it’s a pretty great location – can you make the step? There aren’t too many, but it’s the only way in, so…”

Inhaling deeply, Eelrune tried to focus on the matter at hand. “Yes, not to worry.”

Once inside, it was clear they’d entered the kitchen. It was a lot tidier than the eel was expecting; clean kitchen surfaces and a neat dining table for one. There was another room leading to the right, but Marina seemed more interested in the one on the left.

“Queenie, I’m baaaack…” She motioned for Eelrune to stay put for now. “How are you feeling?”

A response drifted from within the room, nasally and pathetic. “Awful. Did you get me the tea I asked for?”

“Yes—and something better.” This time, Marina motioned for Eelrune to come through instead.

The moment she laid eyes on Queenie, a look of pure horror graced the human’s visage, and she pulled the covers of her bed up to her face. Her hair was unkempt, the bed itself was strewn with tissues, and there was a (mercifully empty) bucket next to the side-table.

“No, don’t look at me—!” Queenie squirmed, curling her legs up beneath the covers. “Marina, why did you bring her? Seeing me like this … it’s just a cold, I don’t need medical attention. Now she knows what squalor we live in!”

The octoling didn’t take this very well, and her concern flared into anger. “You can sleep outside if you want! I didn’t have to get you anything, or anyone, but I was worried about you! Shows me!” She stormed out into the kitchen, and Eelrune was left to deal with the situation.

“Well, it’s nice to see you too,” she huffed, sliding further into the room. “Marina said you’d been throwing up, and that sounds worse than a cold to me.”

“I’ll be fine, I prom—prom—hatchoo!” Queenie’s condition made this entirely unconvincing. “I’ll get better within a week on my own.”

“You might be right, but I’ve been asked to make sure.” Eelrune tightened her grip on her handbag. “I also brought a decongestant and some painkillers, but I’d like to make a diagnosis before I risk giving you any medicine.”

“Alright, fine. What do you want to do to me?”

“I’d like to take your temperature, listen to your breathing, and look at the inside of your mouth. There’s not much I can do without equipment…”

Queenie glowered at the floor, reluctantly lowering her blanket shield. “Do what you must, but I don’t like the sound of that last one.”

“I don’t have any tongue depressors on-hand, so you might escape it.” She didn’t have a sterilized thermometer either, so she placed her hand on Queenie’s forehead instead. It was warm. Humans were hot-blooded, but not THAT warm. “I think it’s safe to say you have a fever.”

“I could’ve told you that,” Queenie muttered. “How are you going to listen to my lungs without a stethoscope?”

Eelrune gave her a look, barely stopping herself from saying ‘How do you think?’ by maintaining her bedside manner. “I’ll put my head on your chest. The stethoscope’s purpose would be to amplify that sound.”

“You—you’ll—” Queenie was flushed already, but now she looked hotter. “Ohhh, hurry up then...” She took a sharp intake of breath as Eelrune rested her head against her.

“Exhale slowly, please.”

Queenie tried to do as she was told but was interrupted by her own cough. “Ugh… I hate having you see me like this.”

“Oh, please. I met you in a much more compromising situation.”

“At least that was spontaneous and dramatic.”

Eelrune rolled her eyes. Queenie’s pride always came from an unusual perspective. Maybe it was a human culture thing. “Yes, well … I can’t listen when you talk to me, so take another breath.”

This time, Queenie managed to subdue her cough. She shut her eyes, savouring some unspoken feeling as Eelrune listened.

The nurse soon lifted her head, adjusting her hair-tails. “It doesn’t sound like you have much liquid in there, which is better for you than it would be for seafolk.”

“I don’t like how you said much instead of any.”

“Well … your breathing is laboured. But it could be far worse. I can safely confirm that you’re not dying, as Miss Marina feared.”

Queenie pouted. “I told you I was fine.”

“That’s the problem—you’re not fine, either.” Eelrune folded her arms. “Is it true you’ve been throwing up? Can you stand for me? Can you walk?”

Trying to prove her point, Queenie struggled out from underneath the sheets and emerged from the bed, holding her hands out to steady herself. She teetered, attempting to set one foot forward, all with a defiant look on her face.

Eelrune put her arms out to catch her when she inevitably fell forward. “That settles it. I think you should stay in bed and rest.”

Queenie clung to her, hiding her face in her shoulder. She shook slightly, and Eelrune felt the fabric of her clothes dampen, but the human didn’t make a sound.

She patted her on the back. “I’m trying to help because I want you to get better. I’m not trying to hold anything over you—everyone gets sick.”

“Please can I have the medicine you brought now?” Queenie’s voice was much meeker than it had been.

“I’d like to give you it – but I have one more question to ask. Have you had our medicine before? I wouldn’t want to cause further complications by giving you something that wasn’t designed for your species’ intake.”

“Well, nothing else I’ve had has killed me yet … I’ll have a look at the packaging though, for your sake.”

“For my sake…?” Eelrune helped Queenie back into the bed, where the human sat up and grasped onto the blankets. She didn’t elaborate at this confusion and was still sulking. Before Eelrune could prompt her further, Marina re-entered with a tea-tray. It seemed she’d let off some steam with the kettle, her concern greater than any offense she’d taken. There were two cups.

“I’ve brought your tea.” She offered the tray to Queenie, who silently took one. Marina turned to Eelrune. “Sorry, I didn’t ask if you wanted one, but I made some anyway. If you want, there’s some sugar in the kitchen.”

“Oh—thank you.” The eel slid her cup off the tray, placing it on the bedside table. She watched as Marina tucked the tray under her arm. “Aren’t you having any?”

“Mine’s in the kitchen. I don’t really want to interrupt whatever it is you’re doing in here. Um, how’s it going?”

“I was just about to give Queenie something for her sickness. She should be alright, as long as she keeps resting and drinks plenty.”

“That’s a relief…” Marina rubbed at her brow. “Anyway, I’ll leave you be.”

Eelrune passed over the decongestant she’d taken out of her handbag. “You can’t take both medicines at the same time. But do make sure this hasn’t got anything toxic to humans…”

“I’m familiar with most medicinal components, I assure you,” Queenie reassured her as she studied the packaging, taking a quick sip of tea with her other hand. She thought it best not to mention her poison studies again. “This should be fine.” A pause. “Thank you.”

As Queenie took the medicine with her tea, Eelrune dipped out to put sugar in hers, mostly unnoticed. On her return, she rolled a chair over from Marina’s desk at the back of the room and sat at the bedside.

“I’m not much to look at right now,” Queenie grumbled, blowing on her tea.

“I assumed you’d want some company. But I can go—”

“Don’t go,” Queenie sighed. She put her tea aside. “Let me be plain with you, Runey.”

The tip of Eelrune’s tail twitched at the nickname, but she turned her head away in a demure manner. “I’m listening.”

“I am quite guarded with my emotions. Preserving my ego is … excruciatingly important to me.” She stopped to raise a tissue to her nose, sneezing before she continued. “As such, I find myself unpractised with expressing how I feel. About people, about my passions—I am often at war with myself, and as a result, I tend to put my foot in my mouth...”

Eelrune didn’t think that sounded healthy, exactly, but she left room for Queenie to continue.

“Which brings me to what I’m trying to say now. You … are very dear to me. You’ve done a lot for me, and I enjoy my time in your company.” The human fought her nerves, swallowing. “So … please don’t ever think I want you to leave, or that I’d want to leave you, er, ‘high and dry’. If I’ve been acting strange, it’s because…” Well, she didn’t have to admit the whole truth. “I’m struggling between long-dead social expectations and being a good friend.”

Hearing that Queenie had finished, Eelrune exhaled a long sigh. The human’s hand was flopped on the bedsheets, and she took it gently. She probably couldn’t catch it, but she’d definitely be washing her own hands later...  “I understand. Well—more accurately, I understand what you’re trying to say. Your situation is practically unheard of. A fish out of water, if you’ll pardon the expression.” She looked down. “That must come with a lot to learn. Not just about Splatsville, but about yourself. I had a taste of that when I first moved here, but for you, well…” Eelrune looked up again to see how Queenie was reacting.

The human was regarding her with intense interest, patiently waiting for her to continue, so she did.

“It’s not surprising that you’d feel overwhelmed—nor will things magically fit into place.” She squeezed her hand, hoping to reassure her. “But if you want me here, then I’ll stay. I want you to get better.”

Queenie’s mouth half-opened, but she seemed to think better of whatever she was going to say. Eventually, she asked, “Is that because you’re a nurse, or because you’re my friend?”

“Well, take your pick.” Eelrune drew her hand back, reaching for her tea. “Because I’m both. But I didn’t come all the way here on my day off just because some patient of mine had the flu.”

The edges of Queenie’s mouth curled upward for the first time that day. It was weak, but the smile was there. “So … tell me what gossip I’ve missed while I’ve been sick in bed.”

[homemadegirlbossbattle]

ROUND 1 / SIDE B / POLL 13

Poppy (@stobotnik) vs. Estelle Reyes (@bashirs)

Poppy info:

Description: Octoling MILF who traversed the deepsea metro and all she got out of it was this loser robot husband. You can't spell 'unethical cephalopod experimentation' without all the letters of cute!

Crimes: Assisted Cdr. Tartar in omnicide, world domination, brainwashing, and eugenics. Allowed her daughter to destroy a world monument to also take over the world and assists them in their drug ring. Stole a cadaver to revive a rogue AI and allow it to continue living. Scrolls Pinterest on the clock at Grizzco while her co-workers get their shit rocked by flyfish.

Other notes from the submitter: Autism be damned my girl can work industrial machinery

Estelle Reyes info:

Description: Estelle is an ex-assassin making a new life for herself in France, because her home country's government revoked her citizenship and will have her killed if they ever catch her. She now works at a grocery store for a totally clueless manager and gets involved in all sorts of shenanigans in her free time, from party crashing to drunk kayaking. She'll talk big and walk around like a movie star, but she's really just looking to be loved. After getting dumped by her first serious girlfriend, she decides it's time to get her life together — if she even can.

Crimes: Killing people (is this one really that bad if they were mostly politicians?), lying to her ex-girlfriend to cast herself in a better light, lying to basically everyone in general, bribery, being a woman with toxic masculinity, and narrating unreliably.

Other notes from the submitter: N/A

[dogtoling]

On the topic of non-canon ways to interpret the inklings, my personal explanation/headcanon for how cap Cuttlefish and dj Octavio live that long is that inkfish live to be up to 150, which since those two are like. 130 puts them equivalent to a 80-90 year old human

I imagine that they develop/mature slowly and inkfish from 20 to 30 are still kinda kids in the same way a teenager is a kid (kinda like hobbits lmao)

I don’t have an explanation for how creatures like squids and octopi somehow have these ridiculously long lifespans when their wild ancestors lived for like. 3 years but I’m hand waving it away as just something something Alterna crystals

I like this explanation of inkfish having extremely long lifespans for several reasons. First off, many invertebrates are indeterminate growers, which means they keep growing throughout their whole lives, and for example some lobsters (i think) don't even HAVE a natural lifespan, they either die of external means or because they grow too big to molt. Inklings could easily be indeterminate growers, and DJ Octavio definitely fits that mold with some depictions of him in the game being like 3 or 5 times the size of the player inklings... on the other hand Captain Cuttlefish completely debunks it with him being even smaller than the player inkling. But honestly, neither of these are very good sources because DJ Octavio is scaled large due to being an enemy and a final boss due to Video Game Visibility Reasons and looks pretty normal-sized in the glass domes, whereas nothing about captain cuttlefish makes sense to begin with as his design is so early he still has VISIBLE BONES, way too many tentacles on the wrong spot, and is literally a dried squid jerky as of Splatoon 3 who has no organs and can float for some reason and SHOULD BE DEAD.

Anyway, inkfish having no natural end to their lifespan seems likely as they're molluscs, and in real life, cephalopods are quite low in the food chain. This would mean that overpopulation wouldn't really happen in Splatoon nature, because just about everything wants to eat squids and octopuses, so even if they lived to like two hundred years old, most probably wouldn't make it to 30 especially early in their evolution. That being said though, a long lifespan in combination with their insane abilities, intelligence, and social nature might have been driving factors in why they became the apex species of the planet (which they canonically are).

There are reasons I don't like the idea that they have super long lifespans. Obviously the first one is that they're cephalopods, which FAMOUSLY have very short lifespans, so it feels very out of character for inklings to be famous for the exact opposite thing. I'd like for them to actually live for slightly less time on average than humans do, maybe 50-60 years. This is also taking into account that a trend in nature is that smaller, more active and energetic animals typically have short lifespans - think especially rodents that are extremely jittery a lot of the time and very mobile - but only live like, max 5 years. Whereas the long-lived animals tend to be the ones that are large and slow and barely do anything, like tortoises, or just ones that are really big, like whales. Inklings clearly fall into the relatively small super-active species bracket with extremely malleable bodies and insane metabolic cost due to how much ink they create.

The other reason I don't really like the idea of Inklings having super long lifespans is that there is literally no other implication of it in the game. Which, duh, it's a game about teens, for teens. There was never going to be much talk about elder inklings to begin with. But with the assumption that Inklings would live to be over a hundred years old, it would mean that there should be a LOT of old inklings... EVERYWHERE. We don't see that side of society in the games of course which is a bummer, with pretty much every inkfish in the games and even the bands being a teen or young adult. It would also mean that family dynamics would be entirely different from human ones even under the assumption that inkfish had close familial ties to past generations, because not having natural lifespans would mean you could have a mom, a grandma, a great-grandma, great-great-grandma, great-great-great-grandma..... list goes on, alive and present at the same time and just chilling. There's barely any mention of families or parents in Splatoon to begin with, but there's also been like zero implication of this. The concept of a grandpa DOES EXIST as we know from Callie and Marie, so we at least know that inklings live long enough to sometimes be grandparents, but not much else.

And this is fully contextual based on the fact that this is a teen oriented game where the players are teens, so of course i'm making this assessment, but inkling society in splatoon being SO oriented towards fast paced death sports and catering to teens and young adults at all times implies to me more that teens and young inklings are the vast majority, which in turn implies that they do have relatively short lifespans. The way turf wars are as popular as they are and how teenage inklings as a collective don't seem too concerned about their safety, Inklings are very much a 'live fast, die young' kind of species. At least that's what they seem to me.

However it's an awful coincidence that in a species, or two species in fact which are implied to have human lifespans, the only two old people we've seen are fucking 130 years old. That is unprecedented for a HUMAN not to mention a damn squid. They're both insanely old and seem to be doing just fine (even Cuttlefish, somehow). We know Cuttlefish's lifespan is not natural, but instead Inklings around the age of 50 partake in sun-drying, in which they dry out their bodies to preserve themselves longer, which... seems counterintuitive but it's a video game and theres a fish that got sliced in half and fried so i'm not going to spend too much trying to make sense of it. So yeah, we know that Inklings do have lifespans and are considered at least some form of old around 50, which to me implies that their natural high-end would probably be 80 years.

DJ Octavio is where it gets messy, because unlike cuttlefish, he is NOT sun-dried. He is presumably just as old but he's sitting pretty in a mech and dancing going insane and hosting DJ parties and whatever, he might as well be 20. But he's not, and he's like ancient, and he's NOT sun-dried, yet he's over a hundred years old and COMPLETELY FINE. And he IS an OCTOLING, not an artificial octarian, for which I wouldn't question stuff like this. It is possible and likely that the devs just didn't consider this when making him and simply wanted a funny octopus nemesis to rule the story mode, but it still makes the whole inkfish age thing really difficult to work with because based on just the observation of those two, 130 is apparently just a natural age for Octolings to reach whereas squids turn into dust after they turn 60 and die forever. And I don't think that's the case at all but alas, it's the situation we have JUST based on canon. It is possible that Octavio is living this long because of Octarians' biotechnological prowess and science, but that's just pointless theorizing as of now.

Anyway long ramble post but I still haven't made up my mind on what I actually want to headcanon, the game doesn't exactly make it easy...

[friendly-neighborhood-gambler]

Rant/vent incoming

TL;DR Cephalopod women changed my life

So, Splatoon. It’s a game. About kids, who become squids. You know this shit. But the fact is, it’s so much more than that. The characters have in-depth relations and incredible personalities, and every single time they speak it makes me feel emotions like they’re meant to be felt.

For most of my life, I’ve been emotionally unavailable, typically being stone-faced or hiding behind exaggerated energy. And it really took a toll on me, to the point where I would resort to self-violence if I showed any form of emotion other than joy outside of a private space. And so many people knew me as this energetic bitch, who was pretty smart but probably Special Ed in some way.

Then 2014 rolled around. My grandpa had a Wii U, and although he didn’t get Splatoon itself, I still found a way to play it. Don’t entirely remember how, but I did. And that shit? That shit changed my view. Not the way I acted, but my life was different, and I didn’t know just how much. It all started with something simple:

A crush on Marie.

At the time, it seemed like yet another of my pathetic, short term mindsets that would fade away the instant I saw someone else. But no. This squid lady stuck with me, and is still with me to this day, to the point where most relationships I’ve had or strived toward were built off of a direct comparison between the other person and Marie.

And the story behind her and her cousin kept me within an arm’s reach of the series, constantly getting pulled back in by the gameplay and lore. And when Splatoon 2 came out?

DEAR. LORD.

LOOK AT THESE TWO AND TELL ME THAT THEY AREN’T A PERFECT EXAMPLE OF WHAT A NERDY LESBIAN CAN ASPIRE TO BE!!!

I used to look at Marina like the rest of the community did: w a h m a n

But as I look at her again, especially with Side Order and Octo Expansion, I see just how much I missed by skipping over the smaller details. And I’ll say one thing, just one more about her:

I would stay up for EVER rambling back and forth with Marina. Me and her? We could occupy each other for so long with just snacks and ranting…

And Pearl? She’s just SO COOL! I never looked at her as “big forehead bitch”, in fact the larger forehead had me feel kind of comforted since I felt like I had a pretty unnatural face. (I more just felt that way because I didn’t know I was trans yet) Even still, she’s such a comical character who can play both sides of the conversation depending on how Marina’s feeling, being both calm and serious and energetic and rowdy.

And then came Splatoon 3.

And oh. Boy. You already know what I’m gonna sa-

FRYE ATTACK!!!!

I LOVE THIS WOMAN. She is my everything, and if I could, I would legally marry her the instant I turn a legal age.

Call me weird all you’d like, but I get butterflies in my stomach whenever she calls my name during splatfests. I got my Frye amiibo, put her next to my bed, and I fell asleep staring into her eyes. I GOT BACK INTO WRITING JUST SO I CAN MAKE AN OC X FRYE FANFICTION!!!!

And Shiver? Not my favorite, but God do I love them regardless.

They’re snarky, sarcastic, and (in my headcanon) nonbinary. And they fit so well in the trio of Deep Cut. The three of them just make me so happy, even if they lack a bit of personality when they’re all together.

And, uh… the agents.

Yeah, the agents.

Captain 3? Her development is so neat, and her outfit is so awesome!

Agent 4? Don’t know much about him, but he comes from Splatoon 2 story mode so he must be cool.

Neo 3? I think the concept of someone getting recruited by Racist Fish, falling into an abandoned base for humans, taking treasure on accident and saving the world IN SPACE is epic.

And Agent 8… where do I start?

First off, the modes where you play as her are so cool! Octo Expansion is such a neat idea, and turning Splatoon into a roguelike on Side Order is SO DAMN COOL.

Secondly, her design? The FIRST OCTOLING most people played as? THE FIRST OCTOLING THAT WASN’T EVIL???? And the lore implications that she’s the way she is because of Calamari Inkantation????? Sorry, that’s just SO COOL.

Rant over now, long story short I have several sea-life wives

[slusheeduck]

Fictober 2023 Day 6 - Prompt: "Are you with me?" Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

“I say it’s time for a celebration. Are you with me?”

Falerin’s attention, drifting aimlessly as he sat on the rocks by the water, was abruptly caught by a bottle, shoved right in front of his face.

“Arkhen’s Hoard. Well, I think it is. The thing about found liquor is that the labels always seem to go missing.” The bottle gets pushed into Falerin’s hands, and Gale settled down on the rock beside him with a long sigh. “Tell you what: you get the honor of the first drink.”

“So you can be sure it’s good?” Falerin asked with a wry smile. He pops open the cork—seems like it’s already been opened and examined—and takes a drink. He pulls it away, squinting as he looked over it.

“Well?”

“…I have no idea what Arkhen’s Hoard tastes like.” Falerin passed it back, a little smile on his face. “But it’s good.”

“Then that’s good enough for me. In these circumstances, anyway.” Gale took a long drink, then passed the bottle back as he looked up overhead.

“So…what are we celebrating, exactly?” Falerin asked, tapping a nail against the bottle.

“Well, it’s another day past without sprouting tentacles! That’s good enough cause for celebration for me. Especially because we should have long since been reduced to a life of cephalopodic horrors.” He wiggled his fingers in front of his mouth for emphasis, making the half-drow laugh.

“All right, all right. I’ll drink to that,” Falerin said, and so he did. He grew thoughtful, though, as he passed the bottle back. He often did, really; seemed his head was in the clouds more often than not. Not a bad trait, as far as companions went. If anything, it made Gale’s conversations with him all the more valuable.

“Copper for your thoughts?” he chanced.

Falerin’s eyes fixed on him: one dark, and one a bright, nearly luminescent purple. The latter wasn’t an unusual color for drow, but there was something…strange in it. Otherworldly. Like someone else—well, a non-tadpole someone—was looking at him through it. Warlocks often bore marks from their patrons, but that didn’t make them any less unsettling…or fascinating, depending on who you asked.

“You were really upset when Nettie poisoned me,” he said after a moment. “I’ve been meaning to ask why.”

“Is that…not what friends do?” Gale asked, brows furrowing as he held the bottle to his lips. “Do let me know. It may be hard to believe with my charm and wit, but I’m a bit out of practice.”

“So am I,” Falerin said with a laugh.

“Ah, see, I knew you were a kindred spirit.” The wizard let out a sigh, looking up. “Do you ever just…click with someone? Where you meet, and chat, and it’s like you’ve known each other all your life? Granted, maybe it’s some form of…trauma bonding, but…” He held the bottle out to Falerin, who took a quick drink before passing it back. “In that moment, when that druid poisoned you, I realized just how devastating it’d be to lose a friend like you so soon after meeting.” He shook his head. “But that’s likely just the ramblings of a very lonely, very stressed man. Change the subject, would you?”

Falerin gave a little smile, warm and understanding, then rubbed his knee. “Guess how old I am.”

“If you’re having me guess, my answer’s not going to be right,” Gale shot back, passing the bottle.

Falerin smiled, swirling the wine. “I’m sick, too,” he said quietly. “My heart doesn’t work properly; I wasn’t supposed to make it to twenty-five. I did, I think through sheer spite, and I wanted to keep living. Initially, I turned to magic, but ultimately, I went to the fey.” He shrugged. “My patron…liked me, for whatever reason. Took me to her court and kept me there. I don’t know if she thought of me as a…a pet or a plaything or what, but I was comfortable, and my illness was halted.”

Gale regarded him for a moment. “So why leave?”

Falerin chewed his lip. “My illness was halted. I wasn’t cured.” He looked up at Gale. “I don’t expect you to know what it’s like, but…being in a place of such beauty, full of immortals who don’t know what it’s like to be sick, and feeling the…rot, the poison of your own mortality in your veins—it’s maddening.”

Gale’s eyes darted away. “I might know that better than you think,” he said quietly.

Falerin took a long drink, then passed it back. “So I asked to leave. My patron agreed—a lot more easily than I thought she would. She offered to give me power, to give me enough fey magic to not only survive, but thrive—for a time, anyway—in exchange for my right eye.” He tapped just below it, purple blazing in the dying light. “She wanted to see my adventures, because she knew I’d have them.” He shook his head, puffing out a laugh. “Obviously, she was right.” He dragged his heel through the dirt. “I thought I’d just been away for ten years. Turns out it was a hundred. My mother, my friends, my mentor…all gone. I was just trying to get my bearings when the nautiloid picked me up.”

Gale was quiet, looking off somewhere very distant. “For a time, you said. Do you know how long?”

Falerin shrugged. “With the fey magic in me? I’d guess about a decade.” His brow furrowed. “I feel…stronger, with the tadpole. Even more than I did in the Feywild. But it seems a shitty deal to keep living just to end up a Mind Flayer.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Gale said, tipping the bottle in a one-sided toast. “Tell you what. You’re already helping me with my condition. I’ll do whatever I can to help with yours.” He gave a grim smile. “If we both survive, obviously. But…I hope we do.”

Falerin gave him a wide smile, taking the bottle from him. “I’ll drink to that.”

Fictober 2023 Drabble Master Post

[20kmemesunderthesea]

🦑 Nemo's Fury 2: Octo War 🦑

There's a sequel, my lovelies!

When I saw "Nemo's Fury 2: Octo War" would involve a race of advanced, intelligent cephalopods called "Octopoids," my thought was, "My, that's...creative."

Perhaps a bit corny. Perhaps a bit cheesy. That being said, you know what else is corny and cheesy? Elote. Having grown up on a steady diet of Doctor Who and TOS Star Trek, I'm not one to judge. So just as at every local fair I make a beeline for the nearest elote stall, I enthusiastically made a beeline for Amazon to download "Nemo's Fury 2" onto my Kindle, metaphorical bottle of Tajin in hand.

Premise:

While "Nemo's Fury 2" takes place after the events of the first book, it's formatted as a standalone adventure so that the player doesn't need to have played the first book to follow along and enjoy it.

After having left the Nautilus, you (Irish-American journalist T.K. O'Connor), are picked up by another submarine, this one belonging to the navy of the Indian kingdom of Maharashtra. Maharashtra possesses submarines even more advanced than "The Nautilus," throwing onto question Captain Nemo's personal innovation. (Has he taken more credit for naval technology than is actually due him?!)

Because of your experience onboard the Nautilus, you're drafted into Maharashtra Navy and are sent to salvage a derelict submarine to get it operational once more. Along the way, you reconnect with some familiar characters, pilot a submarine and uncover a genocidal conspiracy which you set out to stop before it's too late!

As for the “Octopoids,” I didn’t think they were terribly corny. (Let me reiterate that "Alfa 177 canine" was seared into my memory at a young age.) In fact, the Octopoids are rather mysterious and I’m left wanting to know more about them. Space aliens are overrated anyway: it’s about time we had some ocean aliens. I, for one, am here for sentient sea life á la “Star Trek: The Voyage Home.”

Gameplay:

Like the first book, the gameplay of "Nemo's Fury 2" is a sort of hybrid between a "choose your own adventure" book and a DnD-type solo rpg. All that’s needed to play is pencil, paper and two six-sided dice.

There are added stats and rules in this book relating to navigating the submarine, repairing it, piloting it, etc, as well as additional hazards such as radiation poisoning and encountering a colorful menagerie of sea monsters. These new rules and game mechanics add more complexity to the gameplay, making it interesting and fun.

Other notes:

-> I personally preferred the storyline of the first book to the second; It felt a bit more composite. On the other hand, I enjoyed the gameplay of "Nemo’s Fury 2" and thought it was cleverly set up and more complex than the first. You might just have to purchase both to see if you prefer one over the other.

-> In the “Nemo’s Fury” game app, more of Captain Nemo’s backstory was explained than in the book version. Only having played the book version, I was left a little confused by how different he was from the the severely depressed middle-aged widower we've come to know and love.

A little more insight into Nemo's past was revealed in “Nemo’s Fury 2,” divulging a story very different from cannon. Avoiding spoilers, this Captain Nemo is in his late 20’s, never married and has serious mommy issues as well as deeply concerning personality disorders which, incidentally, was also the backstory of most of my college classmates.

I don’t necessarily mind a writer changing up a character, but I wish I’d understood right away in the first book that this was a different Captain Nemo than the one I’d expected. The exposition in "Nemo’s Fury 2" actually explained a lot about the first book retrospectively.

This different depiction of Captain Nemo, while angstier, is still objectively interesting and makes for an intriguing antagonistic character on the game's storyline.

In conclusion, "Nemo's Fury 2: Octo War" was an enjoyable sequel and left me eagerly awaiting part three!

[spiralwriting]

I really loved the Yandere reader. We need more of these. Can you make one of Azul Ashengrotto with a Dom Male Yandere S/O plz? Sfw and Nsfw.

Ah, my first request, thank you so much! I really hope you enjoy this one.

_________________________________________{Isolation, Intimidation, Sudo-drowning, Dependency, Non-con, Dub-con, Violence, Toxic Relationship, M!Reader}

_________________________________________><><><><>(Read at your own risk)<><><><><

Sfw:

Azul, by nature, is a nervous creature, he always has been, he's just gotten better at hiding it over the years. He struggled to fit in for so much of his childhood, that he eventually gave up on silly concepts such as love and fate, believing that nobody could love a strange, chubby little octo-twerp like himself.

So, it's fair to say that your behaviour is odd and horribly puzzling to Azul. You seem genuine about your pursuit of his love, you seem genuine in your words of encouragement and comfort, everything you do and say to him seems genuine, and he can't help but hate it.

It's so conflicting for Azul, because for so much of his life, he was preparing himself to spend the rest of it alone, yet here you are, heart is worn so visibly on your sleeve, waiting for him to take it and do as he pleases. He doesn't want to risk it though... What if you're lying?

Though, deep down, there's this twing of longing brewing within him, that so desperately wants to follow your bait and hook himself on your fishing line, ready to reel him in and devour him whole.

He knows that your behaviour is wrong, the things you say, the way you act, it's not natural to be so obsessed, but something in him tells him to ignore every red flag that pops up over your head. Cephalopods can't see colours after all.

He indulges himself unknowingly, every touch, every word, every service you do for him has him smitten, heart pounding out of his chest. Even when he jumps, even when he clears his throat and backs away, don't stop pushing your way into his lonely heart.

As time goes on and you only seem to get more intense, his feelings don't clear, but he's far more comfortable to let you do as you please. It's embarrassing, being pulled onto your lap, being slung over your shoulder or being pulled by his waist to the places he needs to be, but he has your undivided attention at all times, and it feels good.

However, it's almost too much to handle, all the attention you give him. The care behind your touches, the adoration behind your eyes as you stare at him, the sweetness in your voice as you praise him. He starts to get nervous when he notices just how much attention you are giving him, avoiding your gaze and chuckling uncomfortably. It's unnerving but so exhilarating.

He isn't used to being bossed around anymore, but he can deal with it, you're not cruel with it or anything. Yes, you tease him about the redness in his cheeks or how his glasses slid down his nose because of how sweaty he got from the lightest of touches, but you know when to switch it up and start reassuring, it's incredible.

He's been told by many people that the way you act isn't okay, but by this point, you have him hooked. He honestly doesn't think he could recover if you left him, he's so dependent on you for everything that he just couldn't handle it. He found that out the hard way.

He had told you one day that he couldn't be around you anymore if you keep acting the way you do, it's detrimental to him, yourself and everyone around you. By the time you'd come to visit him in his office that night, you didn't even have to open your mouth before he silently walked over to you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders as he silently sobbed in your arms. Safe to say he never tried that again.

That's how you punish him when he's out of line, talking to people he shouldn't, going places without you, etc. Simply spit a 'whatever' at him and walk away. Ignore him and watch the panic wash through him. It hurts to ignore him, but you know it hurts him more. There's just something so rewarding about having him grovelling on his knees, gripping tightly onto your trousers as he begs you to talk to him again.

He's too far gone now to realise just how toxic your relationship has become.

_________________________________________

NSFW:

- The two of you have fucked in his natural form. You downed that underwater breathing potion, forced him through that portal and fucked him until he was begging for more. It took some getting used to, but you had all the time in the world to explore his body and discover a whole new him.

He hated it at first, he wanted nothing more than to curl up in his pot but he couldn't do anything but watch as your hands so lovingly explored him, too frozen in shame and embarrassment to move.

He inked you. Not that you cared, you were learning so much about him. Though, he died of shame. He cried and cried the entire time you examined him, but it quickly stopped once you found where to shove it.

As for sex on land, Azul's preferred form of intercourse, things are a lot calmer in that region. Normally, it comes after date night, or when one of you really needs the release, but other than that, you're not flat out all the time. Azul finds it nice, but a bother to clean up. When he's exhausted, riding out his high and completely filled by you, the last thing he wants is for you to get up to clean the two of you.

Public is something Azul wouldn't ever consider, but boy, do you really love it. Watching him shift in his seat across the room when you turn the settings of his vibrator up, all while you glare at the person who flirted with him yesterday, knowing damn well who he belongs to.

Touching him during house warden meetings. Reaching your foot under the table and against his crotch as he presents his part of the meeting. Or reaching across to tease his thigh during a quiet part, watching him try not to shift or make any noise.

Sometimes getting rough with him. Whenever you've had a bad day and Azul's business is getting to you, you slap the papers out of his hand and slam him up against the lockers in the hall. You force him to the ground with a hand in his hair, unzipping your trousers with a simple demand. 'Suck it.'.

Cockwarming. He's signing contracts, doing homework, and all else that he is required, all while you harden further in his ass, stretching him well. Leaning back on his chair and watching him 'discreetly' shift for any kind of friction, only for you to stop him, and tell him to finish his paperwork first.

_________________________________________

Some things he likes about your relationship:

- You remember everything about him, it makes things simple for him when he needs to unwind. You know just how he likes his favourite drink, what show to put on, how he likes being held, just what to say. He appreciates your memory.

- You don't let him push you away. While yes, it's quite bothersome at times when he needs to be alone, it's also really good for when his thoughts get the better of him and he starts to push you away as a coping mechanism.

- Your gifts are meaningful. It's not empty money dumping for the sake of the price tag, it's special and unique to him. You give him coins from your homeland, homemade scrapbooks, and love letters every day. Literally, he never knows what to expect because it's seldom something mundane and cliche.

- You stand up for him. While he can do it himself nowadays, he really appreciates it when you step Infront of him and scare the shit out of the offenders. Never did he have someone so hell-bent on defending him at all costs before, it feels good to know you'd sooner die than let anything happen to him.

- You'd do anything for him. He likes the control (or what he believes to be control). It's scary to see you physically act on that promise, but he can't help but blush every time you tell him that, because he knows damn well you mean it.

(He wanted to test that theory once, and told you that someone hit him during his study time at the library. He followed you around until he watch you quite brutally beat the ever-loving shit out of the man, leaving him bleeding on the ground for someone else to find. He was shocked, but holy shit was he relieved that you meant it.)

- You don't let the twins deter you. Oftentimes, he finds himself quite isolated because the twins are so intimidating, it's hard for people to approach him. So, he likes that you genuinely couldn't give a fuck about them, and only care whenever Floyd gets a little too close or Jade's had enough time for business talk.

- When you go on dates. It's so intimate, so fairytale-like, he can't help but get lost in the moment. He forgets everything else and just relaxes and unmasks over dinner with you, or whatever else you're doing. It's nice to see him like that when he truly feels comfortable.

_________________________________________

Some things he hates about your relationship:

- How limited his alone time is. Azul, while starved for social connection, still values his time alone, which is very difficult to come by with you around. You're so... Suffocation. He appreciates the gesture, but let him breathe... *Please*.

- How limited his social circle is. He fought and struggled with you to let him sign deals with people alone, and he's only permitted 30 minutes before you storm in and kick the person out. He can't even go to his board game club and talk to Idia without you looming over him, scaring the ever-loving shit out of the poor introvert. Nobody is safe from your wrath, so it's better to keep you happy, right?

- Nothing seems to scare you off. He has tried on multiple occasions to ward you off by sending Floyd in your direction and he ended up in worse condition than you did. How you did it, Azul doesn't know and he's frankly scared to ask. He's even dragged you out to the middle of the ocean, dragged you down as far as possible and held you there until you couldn't hold your breath anymore, yet all you did was kiss him, make him breathe into your mouth and admire his octo-form. He was baffled.

- He doesn't have as much time for things he enjoys. You just require so much attention that he can't think about anything else. Maybe that was your plan, pollute his mind with nothing but thoughts of you, it's only fair that he returns the favour.

[birdo-is-here]

Naut lore dump below because I can and I love this weird looking squid

I was originally planning to properly write out the scene here but after several days of me getting a maximum of 40 words down, I decided i’d just explain what happens

Besides, the way his backstory is revealed is second-handedly so I wouldn’t usually have to write it anyway

Warning this is quite long don’t feel pressured to finish it immediately lmao, I also ramble for bits of it but I eventually get on track

Well. Speaking of squids, here’s a fun fact: Nautilus wasn’t always the squid man he is right now, did you know?

Actually, he looked like a normal human man at first, kinda long, curled hair with a darker skin tone. Just kinda a guy yk

What happened, you may ask? Well, i’ll get into that soon

Here’s another fun fact: Nautilus was the first Off-Scripter. Ever.

When he first popped up as an Off-Scripter, Birdo wasn’t entirely sure what to do with him. Taking her chances, she kinda just decided to… leave him be for the time being until something happened

Nautilus has always been a pirate. Even before he became the inter-dimensional one he is now, he was a normal pirate then as well. Now, his universe is from the 12th century, but that’s because that universe is what I call an “Early Bloomer”, which is fairly self explanatory. It’s a universe that is aging relatively faster than the others for whatever reason is given.

So currently for Naut’s universe, while it’s the 12th century, it’s really closer to the 17th - 18th century. Early and Late Bloomers are actually quite common in The Birdhouse, and are usually just left to their own devices to develop

Now, back on topic, you may be asking: How did Naut become an Off-Scripter? And my response to that is: No one knows! Not even Birdo knows, it’s a completely random and unknown phenomenon which can happen to anyone for any reason; intentionally or not (though it’s usually unintentional)

And here’s where an issue arises: When it was just Naut as the sole Off-Scripter, it was mostly fine. His own universe had a few… odd moments, but they were usually able to be steered back on course pretty easily.

That is, until more Off-Scripters began appearing over the multiverse. And so, Birdo acted accordingly. Well, only really on Nautilus first as a sort of “test subject” to see how their little method would go. What’s this method, you ask?

Well. While Birdo couldn’t directly get rid of an Off-Scripter, he could make the environment around the Off-Scripter inhabitable. Bring an indirect death on the Off-Scripter through storms, natural disasters, and for some reason, lots of water.

Basically, Birdo sent a storm of flood and fire on Nautilus’s universe in an attempt to kill him, figuring that if no corner of the universe was left untouched, there would be nowhere for him to go, and he’d die.

Fortunately, that did not work. At all. It certainly rendered Naut’s home dimension uninhabitable! In fact, there was not a single survivor in the entire universe. Twas not an infinite universe, that one, and there for it had a finite number of inhabitants. Well, not a single survivor save for Nautilus.

In the midst of the flood and chaos, Naut, still a human at the time, instinctively tried to save his own life in the quickest way he knew how at the time: He turned himself half squid. Well, half squid is debatable, he is some sort of cephalopod-adjacent humanoid creature

Now, previously, Naut did know he was not a ‘normal guy’, ykwim?? He knew he was an Off-Scripter, and had a natural knowledge of the multiverse to accompany that. Honestly, he’d mostly just been trying to live his life as a pirate back then, trying to ignore the big picture and keep to what he’s comfortable with (I get it bestie), but unfortunately, there’s never been a time where a good thing has lasted forever

What I mean to say without rambling is, Nautilus did have a general knowledge of Birdo and the other Founders, but never really paid much attention to them.

Until Birdo of course.

Naut, distraught and utterly traumatised; having nearly drowned in the floods before going squid, eventually spotted the culprit of his universe’s downfall

He confronted them on the elephant in the room that is killing his entire dimension, and Birdo explained the situation. They explained the problem with the Off-Scripters and what they had originally planned, and Naut asked if it was worth it to wipe out his entire reality, literally

Birdo waves it off, saying they can just make a new one and start over, which only pisses Naut off more, asking what’d happen to him and his home. Birdo explains that the universe will likely have to be cleaned up and absorbed by The Null (the Birdhouse’s garbage disposal)

They then go on to say, suddenly disappearing from sight, that they’re gonna give the “execution method” one last try, but do something a little more direct this time

Birdo then reappears in a form a little more menacing; An almost spirit-like, tall figure that looks similar to the small, robed creature Naut saw originally, only this time exaggerated to appear terrifying and divine; like the god they actually were

Naut is knocked over by an odd force, and he looks up to see Birdo brandishing a large spear, pointed directly at him. Their eyes are unreadable in this instance; Large, green inhuman eyes.

Nautilus is terrified, of course he is, he’s about to did, but… he doesn’t find himself doing much to fight back. I mean, think about it, he’s just lost everything he’s ever known, what point is there in going on, anyway? It’s best to just let the god get what she wants.

And so, while he raises an arm and prepares himself for his doom, he doesn’t do anything. Birdo watches him, studying his expressions, spear hovering in the air a moment longer… before she sighs, and lowers the spear to her side. She mutters something about how it “probably won’t work anyway”, her form growing slightly less imposing as she glances away from Nautilus.

And then, Birdo seems to dissipate into nothing. They disappear again, though permanently this time, their voice styaing a moment longer, mumbling almost disappointedly “do whatever you want, I don’t care that much honestly”

Naut took a moment to wonder if the god of this world was a teenager in disguise, before he stood again.

He looked out over the burnt, waterlogged husk of a world that was his home, and his brows furrowed. He hated Birdo with every fibre of his being. He hated all the Founders for allowing this.

But he decided to follow Birdo’s suggestion just this once: He was going to do whatever he wanted, and hell, he wanted to be a pirate

End of writing lore dump notes: If you’re wondering, yes he is afraid of water after this experience. Quite a lot, actually:(