#CBD Store near you
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I have been given a mission from God.
#i really really want cacio e pepe for lunch but the only place you can find it is dine in restaurants#but legends tell of a meal kit available at the david jones near my office#i fucking hate the cbd department stores but i will embark on this quest for my beloved#like actually id rather slay a dragon than go in there theyre multistoried labyrinths and everythings so damn expensive#one of em has a floor almost entirely dedicated to fucking Christmas#its closed most of the year#hamb goes on a ramb
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Double Derek
Derek Danforth x GN!Reader
Summary: You spend time with your boyfriend, Derek, before he would leave for a week-long business trip away from home. As a joke, you propose that you should purchase a ‘Clone a Willy’ kit, in case you miss him during his absence. But Derek wasn’t truly against the idea.
Word Count: 4.3k
Content: 18+ smut, MDNI, gender-neutral reader, mentions of sex toys (they’re literally making one), raunchiness, slightly OOC Derek, too many damn time skips, more plot than porn, the silliness is more prominent in the beginning but not so much the smut, penetration (unspecified genitals for reader)
(A/n: thankyou thankyou so much to @g0ry0re0 for proofreading, you are literally a lifesaver ilysm. thank you for everyone’s support and anticipation for this fic, you all keep me going ❤️ enjoy!!)
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“Uhh… ‘CBD-infused intimate oil,’” Derek reads off the box in a curious mutter, turning it around to examine the product and its written features. Then he looked at you with a knowing grin. “Yeah?”
“Yeah,” you nodded in agreement, chuckling under your breath as you watched the imminent purchase remain inside of your boyfriend’s grasp.
You and Derek, since being in a relationship of nearly three years, had always found several ways to spice things up in your sex life. The two of you experimented with almost everything in the book, be it edging, near exhibitionism, toys, food play, etc. And of course, while romantic relationships overall meant way more than just the sex, your sex life with him was just too incredible to ignore. Jesus, you could go on and on for days about how amazing the sex was.
Therefore, it wasn’t unusual at all to find the two of you inside of an adult store. Sure, you mostly bought your things online, but since you two were already out and the shop was nearby, you figured it wouldn’t hurt to go in. Plus, the other times you went to the in-person stores were quite beneficial; you were able to see certain sizings of different products and got the necessary and helpful advice from the clerks there.
You and Derek had continued to browse through the raunchy products as you walked down each aisle together. And while the two of you were almost in your thirties, absolutely nothing could deter you two from giggling at some of the ridiculous things sold there. This time, however, you suddenly stopped in your tracks and opened your mouth in complete awe once your eyes had laid upon it.
“Holy fucking shit!” You blurted as you instantly grabbed the tube-shaped box from the shelf in front of you:
‘(GLOW IN THE DARK) CLONE-A-WILLY: THE IN-HOME PENIS MOLDING KIT
MAKE A VIBRATING SILICONE REPLICA OF ANY PENIS (EASY TO MAKE)’
“Is this actually—?” Derek nearly snatches it from you with a fascinated scoff, reading over the description on the packaging. “What the fuck? Do—do people actually do this?”
“Of course they do, I see them, like, everywhere!” You cackled, trying to steal back the box from his grasp. It wasn’t the first time you’ve ever seen it, but it does surprise you every damn time that you do.
“Okay, okay, so… So if I’m getting this right, you could basically make an entire fuckin’ dildo at home… by molding somebody else’s or your own dick?” He raises an eyebrow incredulously.
“Yeah, pretty much,” you wheeze, nodding at him until your smile grew wider in sudden realization. “Shit, baby, you’d take ‘go fuck yourself’s to a whole new level!”
“What the hell, Y/n?” He chuckled, trying not to burst out into any more insufferable laughter, “okay, first of all, who would—Why the fuck would I want to use a replica of my own fucking dick on myself? Like, if anything, it’s you who should be taking it.”
“Hey, you can’t just say that!” You hissed playfully, still smiling from the entire situation you found yourselves in. Suddenly, however, your eyes widened insightfully from an absurd epiphany you just had.
“Wait,” you began. “I mean… You do have a point, considering that your trip is coming up already… Holy shit, imagine that! While you’re going to be gone for a whole fuckin’ week, I could always use this weird clone shit on myself whenever I’m horny! Hell, it’s perfect since you’ve been going to so many business trips lately!” You joked exuberantly before letting out a delighted sigh. “Jesus, baby, this is so ridiculous…”
Chuckling to yourself, you placed the box back on the shelf, prompting a perplexed gaze from Derek—or rather, as he stared at it, a gaze of deep contemplation. You recognized this damn shit-faced look of his. After all, you’ve known him for years.
“Derek—” you began skeptically.
“Hold on, I’m thinking,” he interjects with a thoughtful finger to his chin before a sudden and mischievous smirk appears at his lips. “You know, that actually isn’t a bad idea.”
Completely dumbfounded and taken aback, you raised a suspecting eyebrow. “Wait. You’re not actually considering… I mean, I was just joking around earlier, I wasn’t actually being serious—”
“I know, but think about it, babe! I mean, hell, you even said it yourself! Every time you feel… needy while I’m out, especially on my long business trips, you could always, well… you know,” he grinned darkly, glancing toward the ridiculous sex toy, “and if you want, I could even call you while you—”
“Shush!” You hissed with a slight laugh. “Holy fuck, you’re actually turned on by this freaky shit, aren’t you?!” It was actually quite hypocritical of you to call him out like that, as you tried to push your own feelings of arousal to the side. “I mean, I’d be down, but… Are you actually being for real right now?”
He scoffs at your remarks, crossing his arms. “Yeah, I mean… I’d be lying if I said that the thought of you being that desperate for my cock wouldn’t turn me on.”
“Really? You’re kidding.” You gasp in utter disbelief. Frankly, you never would’ve expected Derek to be into this kind of stuff, even knowing firsthand that he could be pretty extreme. It was most likely the fact that it was a ‘penis molding kit’ that caught you off guard when your boyfriend genuinely considered it. “You’re actually—Because like, while I was joking, you know, I actually still wanted to get it, but I didn’t know if you were down, or—”
“Babe, this might be the weirdest yet sexiest fuckin’ thing I’ve ever thought of us doing. Of course I’m down.”
***
After bringing home the very ‘unique’ product the two of you purchased from the adult store, you and Derek had set up in the spacious kitchen of his (which was technically yours too, since you practically lived with him now). With all of your necessary supplies laid out on the counter as well as the kit’s included materials, you made it to the fifth step together. The counter’s surface was crowded with measuring cups, bowls, and the other required items as Derek’s lower half had been completely naked to prepare for the molding process. He was actually already jerking off vacantly, a cock ring against the base of his dick to keep him as hard as he could be for the mold.
“Oh my god, I can’t stop thinking about that,” you chuckle as you began to stir the mix of water with the kit’s included molding powder. “That was so fucking hilarious!”
“You’d think that—” Derek scoffs in amusement, practically interrupting himself. “When the cashier said I looked familiar, you’d think that she would’ve mentioned Danforth Enterprises or, hell, even my mom, right? But she thought—she fucking said—”
“Robby Apples!” You nearly cackle, continuing to mix the bowl’s contents after setting a timer for a minute, “She thought you were a fuckin’ porn star!”
“I—” he scoffs with a wide, amused grin on his lips, “Personally? I don’t see it. I don’t think we look alike, like, at all.”
“Right, right,” you chuckle softly, “but it’s the hair. It’s the hair, baby! The curls and stupid frosted tips, I bet that’s why she assumed that!”
“I mean, yeah, but Y/n… I’m way more famous than him. Like, I’m literally CEO of my company—hell, my mother is the President of the United fucking States! Like, how the hell do you mistake me for someone else?! Let alone a fucking porn star!” Derek huffs playfully, surprisingly not too offended by the mix-up. Usually his ego would be heavily bruised whenever someone didn’t recognize him immediately, but he was having way too much fun with you to even be serious about it. And you loved it.
“But, like…” you began with a slight smile, “to be fair, babe, she works at that sex shop. Her mind must be porn over politics.”
“Hey, just because she works at a sex shop doesn’t mean she’s a porn addict.” Derek then raises an eyebrow as he attempts to call you out, “Now that’s just assuming, isn’t it?”
You scowled, yet a small smirk still creeped upon your lips. “You’re talking to me about assuming? You’re—You say that as if you’re not the most judgmental asshole in the fucking world.”
“Ugh, fair point,” Derek shrugged in acceptance and self-awareness, not even bothering to argue because he knew you were right. Then, he paused thoughtfully. “That is a great slogan, though.”
“What, about assumptions?”
“No, ‘porn over politics.’”
“Oh, yes,” you nod with a hint of sarcasm, “The epitome of Derek Danforth.”
“Uh, no,” he scoffs quickly, “money and superiority is the epitome of Derek Danforth.”
You paused with a grimace on your face. “You did not just refer to yourself in the third person.”
“Wh—You do it all the time!” He exclaims.
“Uh, yeah,” you scoff, “ironically!”
Somehow, you didn’t notice until now that Derek was holding his phone in his hand, looking at the screen as he continued to stroke himself to sustain his erection. “Hey, what are you looking at, by the way?”
His eyes went up to you with an innocent, neutral expression. “Uhhh, your nudes.”
“You’re fucking kidding,” you chuckle.
“Uh, no,” he says, turning his phone around in an attempt to show you. “I’m literally going through them right now—”
“No, ew, don’t show me!” You laugh from embarrassment as you looked down at the mixing bowl you stirred, covering the peripheral view with your hand. As sexy as they were to Derek and to you during the time you were taking them, you really couldn’t take them seriously afterwards.
“Oh, don’t tell me you’re embarrassed, babe,” he teases knowingly, making you roll your eyes. “You look so hot in them.”
“Dude—Of course I’m fucking embarrassed!” You reasoned, “I thought it was hot until the post-nut fuckin’ clarity kicked in!”
Suddenly, the timer went off as the two of you laughed softly at your last comment. You were then prompted to instantly focus as you turned off the blaring alarm and grabbed the tube closer to yourself on the counter.
“You fully hard, baby?” You ask casually, beginning to pour the white mixture inside of the tube.
“Yup,” he nodded simply, watching you prepare for the molding process.
After you finished pouring in all of the thick molding substance, you grabbed the tube and walked closer to your boyfriend. “Okay, so we’re just molding your dick now, for like, two… two minutes, I think? And you’re just gonna have to stay hard like that and don’t move too much,” you giggle, “I have to act fast, though, because there’s a reason why the water had to be ninety degrees, alright?”
“Alright,” Derek chuckles, “go ahead, babe.”
After setting up a two minute timer on your phone, you slowly placed the tube full of the ‘molding gel’ over his dick, making some of the white, thick substance drip out onto the floor. The two of you already began to cackle, Derek groaning in slight disgust from the weird feeling that the texture of the paste gave him around his cock.
“This is really fuckin’ messy,” he raises an eyebrow as he watches the leftover mixture spill onto the smooth, quartz tiles of the kitchen floor. “And it feels really… really weird around my dick,” Derek laughs softly.
“Well, we were warned about the mess but… damn, I didn’t know it’d be this crazy,” you chuckle, holding the tube in place, allowing you to stand close to Derek’s naked body. “Also, I know what you’re thinking—You’re not allowed to make a joke about how the molding gel resembles your fucking jizz.” Derek frowns immediately as you giggle at his reaction.
Rolling your eyes, you lean in closer to your lover, placing some soft kisses on his bare shoulder and collarbone. You always believed that Derek’s body was so beautiful, and you couldn’t help but show him how much you loved it all the time. “I’m gonna miss you, you know that?” You mumble with your lips pressed against the warm skin of his shoulder.
“Me too, baby,” he sighs softly, “but I’ll be back before you know it, alright?”
“I’m gonna fuck myself so fucking hard with this weird ass thing when you’re gone.”
“Sorry,” you mumble afterwards, realizing what you had blurted caused Derek to become speechless.
Your filthy words had been delivered so bluntly and casually, gaining a low groan from Derek’s throat. “Fuck. You can’t just—Baby, please tell me you’ll get me off after we do this because, fuck, I’ve been so hard for so fucking long and you’re already making things worse with that kind of talk,” he complains, nearly pleading.
“Jeez, I said I was sorry...” Chuckling, you bury your face in his neck affectionately. “Don’t worry, babe, we have so much time after this. You can fuck me as hard as you want.”
“Fuck…” he moaned at the visual you gave him with your words.
Resting your lips contently in the crook of his neck, you let out a small snicker afterwards. “Dude, I can’t get that stupid fucking meme out of my head…”
“What meme?” Derek asked curiously, no longer focusing solely on his arousal he had for you.
“The fuckin’—Your mom, the Jessica Danforth one that they would—”
“Oh, my god,” he scoffs lightly with a smile, amused by recollection of a popular, new internet meme they made of the US President. “But that one is so fucking stupid.”
“Nuh-uh, it’s iconic because your mom is iconic,” you retort playfully, “and those ‘stupid’ memes ended up being genuine, effective marketing strategies towards her campaign.”
Honestly, it was kind of adorable to Derek that you thought that lousy, new generation memes of her was what mainly helped his mother’s campaign. It was less adorable, however, that it wasn’t really the case. If only you knew…
You leaned in, briefly connecting your soft lips with his, appreciating the intimacy of your closeness that this position bestowed upon the two of you. Your kiss had pushed his underlying guilt aside for now, melting in the short moment of sweetness.
“Hey, when can I get this thing off of me?” He asks suddenly once your lips had parted from each other.
You pursed your lips curiously. “Uhh, well, is it hard yet?”
“Baby, my dick has been hard the entire time for this, you know that.”
“No, I meant—” you giggled breathlessly, “I meant the molding gel, has it hardened yet?”
“Well, it feels like it, sort of,” he remarked with a shrug.
“Eh, we can just wait for the full two minutes,” you suggested, prompting that you both should wait until the timer ends.
Soon enough, the two of you had gone through the entire procedure. You removed the tube from Derek’s cock, placing it on the counter as you mixed the silicone packets together to pour that mixture into the mold. Then, you placed the included vibrator inside the tube through the hole of a cardboard cover that rested on the top of the rim to keep it from sinking completely down into the mold.
“We are… done,” you laugh softly, the two of you looking at the tube filled with liquid silicone, most certainly taking the form of Derek’s dick. “I don’t know what I was expecting, but we are going to have to wait, like, twenty-four hours until we can take it out of the mold.”
“Well, shit. I am actually both fucking terrified and excited to see how it’ll end up looking like,” he shrugs with a slight scoff.
“Your dick, but in a glow-in-the-dark green,” you reply with a simple nod. “So… What now?”
A thoughtful yet mischievous grin appears on Derek’s lips as his eyes trail hungrily over your body.
After eagerly stripping your pants and underwear down, Derek lifted you up on the edge of the kitchen table, lips never leaving yours as he kissed you deeply and passionately. He grabbed onto your thigh, lightly gasping at the rough grip as his other hand slipped under your shirt to feel the soft skin of your back. Derek actually used the hemp oil that you two purchased earlier (alongside the Clone-A-Willy), rubbing it over your sensitive groin, then pleasurably lubricating your entrance. “God, I need you so bad, baby,” he mumbles lustfully, pulling your hips closer to the edge of the counter to line himself up with you.
A soft, yet vocal moan escaped your lips as you feel his rock hard, throbbing cock stretching and pushing through your tight, needy hole. “Fuck, you feel so fucking good,” Derek grunts, eyes half-lidded as he looked at you with lust and admiration. And from this heavenly sensation, you had been reminded that he still had that cock ring on.
You giggled immaturely, “you know, I forgot you even had that o—” He moved both his hands to spread open your thighs, trailing back up to grip your hips as he began to slowly thrust inside of you, making you whine as you placed your hands on his shoulders. “D-Derek—” You choke out a moan as he gradually increases his pace, firmly pushing his hips against yours to get as deep inside of you as he could. His cock was so fucking hard, indisputably caused by the pressure of the ring, but also from how much your sole body turned him on.
The two of your moans echoed in the atmosphere of the kitchen, especially as you wrapped your legs tightly around his back, pushing him in even deeper. “Fuck,” you whined softly, feeling one of his hands trail under the back of your shirt again during each heavy thrust until he finally lifts it off of you, throwing the piece of fabric onto the floor.
Your insides had deliciously gripped Derek’s firm cock so tight, withdrawing a low, prolonged groan from his throat as he then picked up the pace. He pounded deeply into you, head hanging low as he focused on his hard thrusts.
“Shit!” You nearly cry, wrapping your arms around his neck as you started to feel more sensitive. “You’re so fucking hard, hell…”
“Am I usually not?” He teases with a smirk, not ceasing his movements anytime soon.
“Ugh, you know what I mean,” you panted breathlessly. “The fucking cock ring’s, like, making you even harder than you ever been. I can’t believe this only, like, the second time we’ve ever used it.”
“Are you implying that we should use it more?” He raises an eyebrow.
“Hell, yeah,” you replied with a satisfied moan.
“Fuck, baby,” Derek groans, hiding his face in your neck, briefly nipping at your flesh. “Fucking love how tight you feel around my fucking cock.”
You moaned at his sultry words, your arms leaving his neck and holding yourself up with your palms flat on the counter behind you, attempting to grind against his movements. “Fuuuck,” you mumble as your palms shifted behind you, nudging and almost knocking down the Clone-A-Willy tube that was still filled with un-solidified silicone. “Oh, shit!” Gasping in a short panic, you held it steady before it could fall and moved it away to the side.
“Jesus, babe, you almost spilled over my dick,” he scoffs with a chuckle, his thrusts slightly sloppy from this distraction.
“Oh, I’ll spill something over your dick, babe,” you joked swiftly with a playful smirk.
“Oh my god, you’re fucking terrible,” he groaned as a mere, amused smile formed at his lips.
“Shut up, I’m not the one who got mistaken for a porn star,” you retorted, flashing a teasing grin.
“God, never fucking bring that up again,” Derek huffs, rolling his eyes.
“Oh, I will, baby, I will so use it against you,” you claim humorously.
Suddenly, he lifts you up by your ass, away from the counter as he was still pressed deeply inside of you. Holding you up against him in the center of the kitchen floor, he thrusted up inside of you, creating a strong wave of pleasure throughout your entire being.
“Fuck!” You cried as his fingernails dig into the skin of your ass, pushing his cock in and out of your sensitive hole. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ, babe, you might not be a porn star, but you sure as hell fuck like one, shit…” The harsh sounds of flesh slapping against flesh echoed lewdly in the kitchen as he continued holding you up, and even guiding and pushing your hips skillfully against his.
Finally, he brought the two of you over on a chair, sitting down against it as you were positioned on top, his dick completely inside of you. “Ride me, baby,” he mutters, cupping your face gently, yet pulling you in urgently for a deep, wet kiss, shoving his tongue through your lips.
Breaking the kiss, Derek’s hands explored and caressed the warm, smooth skin of your body, muttering lustful praises to you. This prompted you to begin moving, placing your hands on his shoulders as your hips would gently grind against his. “Mmm,” you hum softly in pleasure before your head is thrown back the moment you increase your pace.
You let your knees assist you in bouncing on his thick cock, feeling his arms being wrapped around your back tightly to bring you in closely and intimately. “Fuck, baby…” Derek huffs, attempting to move his hips up with yours.
This position was short-lived, however, because of Derek’s urgency to fuck you fast and properly, lifting you back up once again. He made out with you as he held you, kissing your lips roughly and hotly while we stumbled towards the living room to finally throw you down on the couch.
He immediately grabbed your legs, lifting them up to place your ankles over his shoulders, nipping softly at your legs in admiration before thrusting back in.
“Fuck!” He groans, moving his hips at a much rougher and faster rate, practically pounding into you with both lust and love.
“Shit, Derek!” You whimper, feeling his cock slide in and out of you so fluidly, stretching and caressing your sensitive walls. From all the buildup of the previous positions, you felt so close already. “Fuck, baby. I—I’m gonna cum—”
“Just—fuck—hold on a little longer, baby,” he mutters, ramming his dick inside of you without faltering, focusing on driving the both of you to the very edge.
“Baby…” You whined desperately, looking up at him as you felt yourself begin to clench around him. And that really did it for him.
“Fuuuck,” Derek moaned, his movements against you beginning to stagger, “Cum for me, baby, c’mon.”
A loud, whiny moan escaped your lips as your back arched up against him, tensing up as you finally released. Your tight, fleshy walls around Derek prompted him to come right after, spilling his warm, white semen deep inside of you, muttering a few curse words before collapsing on top of you.
The both of you panted heavily, struggling to catch your breaths as you felt each other’s sweaty, naked body against one another’s. You chuckle breathlessly, feeling so content from the overwhelming ecstasy that your orgasm bestowed upon yourself.
“So good,” Derek whispered, kissing your lips in a sloppy, lazy manner, “you did so good for me, sweetheart.”
***
“What in… the actual fuck.”
The next day, after it had been exactly 24 hours since you’ve poured in the silicone inside of the mold, you and Derek took it out, revealing his glow-in-the-dark, cloned dick.
The two of you looked down at the new dildo, then looked at each other before cackling loudly and heartily, your laughs echoing in the kitchen where you had done the reveal.
“Oh, my god, it looks—it looks exactly fucking like it, babe!” You exclaim in disbelief, nearly wheezing as you hold the light green, phallic object in your grasp.
“That is,” he began, trying to recover from his previous, hearty laughter, “fucking insane. It’s so uncanny, like… it looks so real.”
“Dude, look at all the detail!” You urged, small snickers escaping your throat, “like even the veins and the fucking—what—frenulum, like… What the hell?!”
“And it’s such a bright ass neon green, holy shit,” Derek chuckled, continuing to examine the silicone.
“Hey, it matches your entire vibe, at least. You know. Green. Money. Ehh?”
The two of you giggled childishly, enjoying the absolute absurdity of this entire situation. “God, only you, Y/n, could get me to do the stupidest fucking things that I would never be willing to do for, like, anybody else,” Derek remarked with a slight smile.
”Hey, you were up for it too,” you scoffed, rolling your eyes, “I was joking about it first, but you were the one who took it seriously!”
“Uh, you were the one who grabbed it first,” retorted Derek.
“And you were the one who took it seriously when I was joking,” you repeated, chuckling softly in amusement.
“I—” But before he could say anything, he realized that you were right. “God fucking dammit.”
***
Tomorrow, Derek would have left for the business trip, the two of you saying your goodbyes before he would disappear into his private jet. And the day after, as your lover stayed at a luxurious hotel, lounging comfortably on the bed, he received a few texts from you during the night:
Y/n: hey
Y/n: it actually does glow in the dark btw
Y/n: [sent an attachment]
Derek’s eyes widened instantly, jaw dropping at the sight of the diabolically lewd image you had just sent him. Including the familiar, bright green item in the frame, of course.
“Holy fu—”
#derek danforth x reader#derek danforth smut#derek danforth x you#derek danforth x gn!reader#derek danforth fluff#the beekeeper#the beekeeper fanfic#the beekeeper movie#the beekeeper 2024#Josh hutcherson#josh hutcherson x reader#josh hutcherson x you#josh hutcherson x gn!reader#josh hutcherson characters#josh hutcherson smut#mike schmidt smut#josh futturman smut#silly smut
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Did you think we were done with the merchandise roundup? Nope--yesterday's post was only the beginning.
Months ago, I ran into a guy at the mall who said that he found his Rick and Morty T-shirt at Burlington Coat Factory. My area doesn't have one, but I was in a different city that had a location and decided to stop by.
That turned out to be a smart decision because I found these items on the racks:
I spotted a couple of nearby head shops on Google Maps, so I dropped by the first one, which was awkwardly placed near an intersection. But the Rick and Morty pipes near the entrance made the effort worthwhile.
When the owner saw me taking pictures, she said I can take photos of anything and share them online. That was a good reaction to have. I've gotten in trouble a couple of times before 😬 One store accused me of sticking something in my purse (it was my phone), and another politely said they don't allow pictures.
But that wasn't the case this time. The owner was delightful and gave me free bottled water and snacks, plus a free $10 item after I bought CBD gummies.
Pickle Rick had his own tray:
Silicone is all the rage.
Head shops always have a few miscellaneous Rick and Morty items. I'm not weed-savvy enough to know how to use these.
Hey look, Bender's getting blasted!
The other head shop in the area had some decent pipes. I LOVE the bee design. Don't know where it came from, but it's becoming a smoke shop staple.
I see that the world hasn't forgotten about the Joker. Zombie Rick and Morty lurk in the back.
A couple of rolling trays. Rick's looking a little short and stocky in that first one.
Pickle Rick also looks different. Maybe this guy is Cucumber Rick.
For the record, smoke shops (and stores in general) have more merchandise that I don't photograph. They just have a lot of overlap, so I try not to share the same items more than once.
Stay fresh, everybody!
#rick and morty#rick sanchez#morty smith#pickle rick#futurama#bender#bender bending rodriguez#burlington#head shop#long post#roundup#cannabis culture#cannacommunity#cannabis
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Smoking With Dieter!!
This one’s for my fellow stoners😌 (I’m from Canada and above 18/19+) obviously talks about weed but that’s it, no other warnings I can think of:)
Dieter Bravo x Reader
•First off I’d like to start this off by stating I firmly believe my man would be extremely knowledgeable about everything cannabis related from experience and be one of those “it’s a plant not a drug” people. I don’t necessarily see him being the kind of guy to use a lot of pieces or using different methods to consume CBD daily but I see him owning lots of smoking pieces because they look cool and make dope home decor, also for visitors to use when over.
•basically I see him more as a rip a few green bowls from time to time but preferring joints and blunts or edibles, like Pedro himself seems fond of, because as he’s gotten older smoking from a bong or doing anything like lungs has gotten a lot harsher. I could 100% see him carry around a dab pen and smoke it like anyone else would a nicotine vape. Anything rolled is preferable though, definitely see him being the guy who’d show up to a dispensary just to buy 50+ prerolls.
•this adorable grown ass man would become a giant, giggling, cuddle bear. Super touchy and hyper sexual for sure. His senses are amped to 10.
•if you’ve never smoked before or aren’t into being anything but sober, Dieter would be understanding and respectful. I really don’t see him as a peer pressure type guy, (“that’s fine, more for me!”) if weeds not your thing that’s totally cool and he’d probably cut back on how much he’d smoke around you hoping it wasn’t making you uncomfortable!
•but if you do smoke! Dieter is 100% that friend that’s constantly calling you over to smoke and hangout. He always has prerolls in that old green robe that’s damn near fused to his body at this point. He’s that friend that always seshes you up if you’re out and complains if you don’t pack huge bowls with their weed.
•Owns the BEST walk in snack pantry (room) you’ve ever witnessed. A god damn store. You name it he has it. Always ends up ordering food after the second joint because he’s too lazy to cook and whines about how he’s starvinnnnggggg.
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i'm visiting my parents so i didn't want to get high but i was like maybe i will get a cbd bath bomb at the weird star wars-themed cbd store near them since my apartment has a very shallow bath and it might be nice and appropriate for weed day. but i went in and picked out my scent and when i went to the counter the lady was like "oh! that's 1000mg of cbd, are you sure you can handle that?" and i didn't want to be rude and say "cbd doesn't do anything........" so i just said "oh haha how silly of me!" and picked out a b-tier scent 😔
#the first one was rosemary lavender and orange 🥺 and this one is just lavender which is fine but oh well#also she gave me a 4/20 discount so i didn't want to be mean#personal nonsense#weed mention
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hiiii, I am travelling to Singapore for the Grand Prix this year and was wondering if you had any recs of things I should do while I’m there? 🩷
helloooooo omg how fun!! I love the Singapore GP it's really fun and it's such an accessible circuit. Tbh I'm the worst person to ask because a) i love niche boring stuff b) the only things my friends and I do in Singapore is eat and hang out because that IS the national past time but let me see hmmmm
I'll just recommend some stuff that's not like. Gardens by the Bay. Sentosa. Universal Studios. The Zoo. All VERY nice places tbh and highly recommend but these are just some tiny Nadia-based reccs that you might not get from a google-able list I guess?? If you're here for a short time and you're only at the Marina Bay Sands/CBD area that's totally fine but just know that that IS the most expensive area of Singapore.
Well if you're here for a while and you're a history person I'd recommend going to the National Museum and then right down the road from there is Peranakan Museum which is tiny but fun. The National Museum is one of my favourite buildings in Singapore I just think it's so beautiful. And if you REALLY like history and museums I'd super recommend the Asian Civilisations Museum which is criminally underrated imo. If you're staying near the circuit the National Gallery is literally right there you can even pop in in the morning before the race, there's some really good local and southeast asian art in there if that's your thing.
My personal favourite place to have a wander is the Botanic Gardens. If you're a picnic person just grab some bits and bobs from Cluny Court (Plain Vanilla cupcakes are soooo good. And there's another really good bakery on the second floor) and have a nice picnic and stroll in the garden. It's pretty massive so make sure you know what you're getting into. Do NOT go on a weekend. That's crucial.
The whole Kampong Glame/Arab Street/Haji Lane is a vibe 100%. Get some boba from PlayMade, get some teh sarbat from the old man that's been serving tea there forever. There's this really good burger place like right near the mosque it's called Mahmud's Tandoor I'm obsessed with it. DO NOT let the Turkish restaurants hassle you be strong! There's some thrift stores there too but it's mostly like really good food, really nice art. The Malay Cultural Centre is like a really nice space too if you need a break.
If you want local food I'd rather you go to Maxwell's then Lau Pa Sat I actually HATE Lau Pa Sat it's theeee definition of a tourist trap. Newton Food Centre which is where they filmed that scene in Crazy Rich Asians is like fine too if you're looking for local food. If you want LOCAL LOCAL come to Al Azhar at Bukit Timah because I'm literally telling people that the steamboat fish that's there is Michellin star good. That's also a good frog porridge place down the road if you're feeling adventurous.
And my last recc is the Tiong Bahru area which is the area I used to work at. If you want cute little souvenirs or local bits and bobs there's a very cute store called Cat Socrates that I buy everything from. The Plain Vanilla there is also BEAUTIFUL it's my favourite cafe to work at. There's also like beautiful street art all along the whole area so it's just nice to walk around cause it's all just nice shophouses and art. And then there's Tiong Bahru Market which has some of the best local food. Go in the morning for this.
If you want like fancy food recs that aren't local food but are like actually good and not a scam, my personal favs are Miznon on Stanley Street, Ms Maria and Mr Singh, Five Oars Coffee Roasters on Upper East Coast. Oooh if you go to Neptune on East Coast Road you can see the pretty Peranakan buildings.
UHM YEAH! Singapore is really beautiful but VERY warm please bring sunscreen. PLEASEEEE venture outside the circuit area if you have the time because while that area is gorgeous I just think places like Haji Lane, or Tiong Bahru, or Bukit Timah, or East Coast Road are just so much more local. (Any Singaporeans reading this you know what I mean la. Nice Local. I'm not gonna recommend them to go to the coffee shop downstairs your house k)
#and don't eat rice with a fork that's really strange#I hope this is at all helpful??? if you want like more specific things/areas let me know or you can DM or whatever hahaha#ALSO BAUKE IF YOU SEE THIS I NEED TO REPLY YOUR INSTAGRAM MESSAGE BUT THESE ARE GOOD RECCS TOO#love singapore it's very safe feel free to walk the streets at 3am. 24h Fairprice Finest at 3am is the place to be#asks
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** *Three Dead in NYC Stabbing Spree: Suspect with Long Criminal History Recently Released from Jail**
A man accused of fatally stabbing three people during a violent spree across Manhattan was recently released from jail and had a lengthy criminal record spanning multiple states. The suspect, 51-year-old Ramon Rivera, was arrested shortly after the attacks, which unfolded within 2½ hours Monday morning. His release and prior offenses have sparked renewed criticism of the criminal justice system’s handling of repeat offenders.
Deadly Timeline of Attacks:
8:22 AM – Angel Lata Landi, 36, a construction worker, was stabbed near his worksite on W. 19th Street in Chelsea.
10:27 AM – Chang Wang, 67, was fatally attacked while fishing along the East River at E. 30th Street, roughly 2.3 miles away from the first crime scene.
10:55 AM – Wilma Augustin, 36, was stabbed near E. 42nd Street and First Avenue in Midtown.
Witnesses reported hearing her cry for help before Rivera fled the scene. Augustin, a mother of an 8-year-old, was reportedly staying at a shelter for newly arrived migrants.
Rivera was apprehended shortly after the third attack, found wearing bloodstained clothing and carrying two knives. According to a criminal complaint, Rivera admitted to stabbing all three victims during questioning by NYPD Detective Yeoman Castro.
Rivera’s extensive criminal record paints a troubling picture:
Rivera was released from a New York City jail on October 17, serving time for burglary and assault. Hours after his release, he allegedly committed grand larceny at a Manhattan store.
In the past year, Rivera was arrested eight times in New York City and has prior charges in New Jersey, Ohio, and Florida.
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The violent spree has reignited scrutiny over the justice system’s handling of repeat offenders. New York City Mayor Eric Adams voiced frustration:
“He was sentenced a few months ago, and there’s a real question as to why he was out on the streets. Severe mental health issues should have been addressed.”
Adams lamented the human toll of Rivera’s actions, particularly the loss of Augustin, a mother seeking a better life:
“How do you explain to an 8-year-old child that their parent was killed while pursuing the American dream?”
Police described the attacks as "unprovoked," leaving no apparent connection between the victims and the suspect. Rivera now faces three counts of first-degree murder and remains in custody following his initial court appearance Tuesday.
The case highlights the recurring challenges in balancing public safety with judicial reforms. As details emerge, Rivera’s rampage is poised to become a flashpoint in debates over the effectiveness of pretrial release programs and mental health interventions for repeat offenders.
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Getting the perfect cannabis resin in thailand Are you preparing a trip and curious about experiencing cannabis in Thailand We've obtained you covered in this cannabis-friendly location that has gone through significant adjustments in its marijuana legislations. Considering that the legalization on June 9th, 2022, smoking weed is currently allowed, even for tourists, without a prescription. Although public usage is still prohibited, you can enjoy cannabis in your home or designated smoking areas and locations. Discover the joy of checking out Thailand's vivid society and enjoying the advantages of cannabis without any problem. Thailand is recognized for its beautiful beaches and incredible food and is currently among the world's most cannabis-friendly. Whether you're a regional or a tourist, you can not help yet notice the prevalence of weed in Thailand. However what are several of the most effective areas to smoke up? Right here's where to head to smoke primo weed in the land of smiles. For the most considerable listing of cannabis dispensaries and weed stores near you in Thailand, we recommend that you look into ThaiWeedGuide. If you're additional fortunate, you might also discover the famous Thai stick. When it pertains to cannabis tourist, Bangkok has a lot of alternatives for you. From the top of the city's most popular resort to a dining establishment that focuses on meals made from cannabis plants. There are lots of means for you to experience Thai weed firsthand while visiting this amazing city.
You can also obtain a massage at a health club where they use weed-infused oils! If you're trying to find something a bit a lot more casual, however, one of our favored areas is a spot called Leaf Cannabis Cafe. They have both interior and exterior seating offered, in addition to a menu loaded with scrumptious alcoholic drinks and treats. Their drinks are instilled with THC or CBD so you can enjoy all the benefits without obtaining high. But if you do want some additional relaxation time, they have some outstanding pressures of cannabis in Thailand available too! Right here is a listing of renowned dispensaries in Bangkok that can be found in useful when strolling the streets. If you're taking a trip to Phuket and trying to find some cannabis, it's truly easy to find.First, have a look at this Phuket weed map. There are great deals of dispensaries throughout the island, so you don't need to go much to obtain your hands on some cannabis. If you have time and intend to check out the island a bit prior to begging a dispensary, we suggest heading to Patong beach. It is usuall known for its nightlife and celebration scene. There are tons of clubs there that have online songs having fun from sundown until daybreak! Just make sure to bring some cash in instance you want to buy anything at the club most places just take cash payments. If you're searching for something extra subtle, we suggest checking out Beach. Both are sandy beaches with clear blue water and white sand that go for miles in either direction. It's absolutely spectacular and wonderful locations to smoke some buds.
As we go into 2023, the landscape of cannabis in Thailand continues to advance. Given that the historical legalisation of cannabis on June 9th, 2022, Thailand has actually seen a substantial cultural shift in its perspective towards this as soon as prohibited plant. In this travel overview, we'll take you on a journey with Thailand's blossoming cannabis scene. We'll be sharing insights right into the legal framework, the arising cannabis society. Below's the most effective means to experience cannabis in this lively Southeast Asian nation. Prepare to check out the globe of cannabis in Thailand like never prior to! Chiang Mai is one of those locations that can look like a desire come true. It has stunning architecture, delicious food, and a lot of possibilities for people-watching. Chiang Mai is currently not just the resources of the north, however the weed funding of surprisingly grown cannabis in Thailand. If you want to know details about Thai Weed Map then visit our site. However where do you go if all you wish to do is get high You may not find yourself looking any kind of additionally than Nimman Road. Ann area that's home to many restaurants and bars and also has lots of weed stores marketing marijuana items! Seeing Chiang Mai is sure to be an unforgettable experience regardless of what your plans are while there. However if they consist of partaking in some natural herb while discovering this extraordinary city then make sure not to lose out on the Old Town and Nimman roadway. When it concerns cannabis, Pattaya is a city that's all set for you.From your initial day in the city, you'll see indicators of marijuana's approval: from the ubiquitous ads for weed shipment, to the many dispensaries offering free samples, to the citizens that are happy to direct you in the appropriate instructions.
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