#CAUSE WHAT IS THAAAT

[sugucidal]

toji is never gonna escape these alaskan bullworm allegations.

[todayisafridaynight]

tumblr keeps showing me Actual Genuine Coochie on my damn dashboard so they better not burst a blood vessel the second i start posting dicks

[lxnarphase]

GOOD MORNING, BABY

ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...ft. : h. hiromi + k. shiu + r. sukuna + h. kinji + t. aoi

ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...cw : somnophilia (pre-agreed on), thigh fucking, penetrative sex, pre-established relationship, dirty talk, praise and degradation, breeding kink, sukuna is a dickhead, shiu really loves his girl, hiromi loses his shit, aoi is a great boyfriend, it's just really fucking dirty im not sorry

ᯓ ❤︎₊‧⁺...synopsis : which jjk characters would fuck your thighs while you're sleeping bc they're horny but don't wanna wake you up !!

who does it to tease you ↴

✧ k. shiu ; he's slow, purposefully grinding right against your sex, his cock leaking precum all over your thighs when he pushes through them. shiu thinks it’s so fucking cute how you try to grind against nothing in your sleep, he can’t help but tease you a little bit, a little smirk on his face at all your reactions

“always makin' me do all the work, aren't ya? hm, got a pretty lil' pillow princess on my hands...” “your man had such a tough day, and your here all comfy and sweet, waiting for me t' touch you. tsk, should've come home sooner, didn't mean to leave my girl waiting." “god, always loved how damn soft you are, angel. mm, so so soft and warm, jus' for me. don't worry, i'll wake you up with my cock cummin' all over your pretty skin.”

✧ h. kinji ; to be fair, you caused this. you teased the poor man all day, and kinji knows he's getting you back when you telling him you're gonna take a nap, rubbing your hands against his chest while wearing nothing but his t-shirt. since you're soooo eager to tease, he had no issues with teasing you back.

“hm? going to pretend you sleep? c'mon, sweetheart, don’t you want to be fucked? you're so fuckin' cute when y'wanna try and be stubborn, hun." "i know you’re awake, i see your pretty eyes trying not to open. all you have to do is open them and i’ll stop fucking your thighs and fuck you instead.” “thaaat’s it, baby, tha's my girl. rubbing up against me while looking so pretty. let’s give you a reward, hm? gonna pop the tip in an' see how fast we can get ya to cry for the rest of it.”

who does it because they are desperate ↴

✧ h. hiromi ; there’s no knowing what caused him to snap, but hiromi comes home practically feral. it's hot, so hot as he quickly takes off all his clothes, uncaring about his expensive suit jacket on the floor. he’s been thinking about you ever since he left his office, thinking about every curve of your body, every sweet noise you’d make, and how delicious you sound saying his name.

“honey, wake up, please. ’m not fucking you until you wake up and look at me. you're not getting my cock til you look at me.” “beg? oh, no, no, no, pretty thing, no teasing and no playing around. the only one that’s going to beg is you, baby. now stop being a little brat and be good for me, yeah? don't wanna punish you, not when you look so cute right now." "how about i just fuck your thighs and, cum all on them? you want my cum to go to waste? or do you want to be fucked full of my cum like a good girl? make your fucking choice.”

who wakes you up ↴

✧ r. sukuna ; sukuna doesn’t even go to thigh fucking, he skips that. no, he’s grumpy his sleep was interrupted by the annoying rush of blood to his dick. so now, he's biting your thighs, sucking on them before going down on you, using his tongue and fingers to prep you lazily shoving his stupidly big cock inside you, humming when you moan yourself awake.

“look who's awake. took you long enough, I put so much effort into making you feel good before I shoved my dick inside ya. hey, don't smack my tits, brat, i'll bite your damn hand off.” “hm? you want me to move? mm. why should i? ...because i woke you up? tch...you're lucky you're s' fucking pretty or i'd just jerk off and cum all over your face.” "fuck, always take me in s' fuckin' good...i trained this cunt right, now she knows how t' handle my cock. 'member when you couldn't even take half of it in? look at you now, turned ya into my nasty little cockslut."

✧ t. aoi ; you fell asleep in aoi's lap, arms wrapped around his neck as you rested your head against his shoulder. the thigh fucking was supposed to happen, yes, but you were tired, opting out for cockwarming him as he watched whatever show he put on. but then you started squirming around, whining so cutely in your sleep. how could he not take care of his girl?

“oh, hiii, bunny...you’re finally awake? hey, shhh, shh, 's okay, i've got ya. feels real good, right? y'just sounded so cute, i couldn' help myself, pretty, you were squeezing me so tight.” “too slow? do you want me to go faster, darling? all you have to do is ask....heh, no, 'm not being mean! i just think you're cute all sleepy, is all.” “it’s hitting deep? yeah? maybe i should lift you higher and slam you down to see how deep i really can go.”

[toovaeloe]

curse biologist!reader x assistant!gojo hc’s

content: gojo pining off his ass . little flirty lab partners . tw for sliiighhtest mention of an autopsy and related tools . warning for gojo poppin’ a stiff one in the lab cause he’s a freak like that (ur a freak like that), so mildly suggestive

mdni

curse biologist!reader— the higher ups want you dead and gone, that’s for sure. You, who has a cursed technique that turns cursed energy into something tangible. After applying your technique to a cursed spirit, it becomes visible to a naked human eye, and instead of disintegrating, leaves a corpse behind. You’re dangerous. Crazy. And well…too weird. But they just hate progress, don’t they?

Not Gojo. He really doesn’t think you’re doing any harm to be honest (and he’ll do just about anything if it creases another wrinkle into Gakuganji’s ugly mug)

I mean, who else has been able to make waves in the integration of curses into science like you have? You’ve uncovered an exponential amount about the inner workings of curses in a few years when the rest of Jujutsu society’s had centuries, only to scratch the surface. It’s really admirable how you deep dive into the nitty gritty, as he calls it.

assistant!gojo— who loves being your little go-getter. Your own personal cursed spirit Fetch-Fido— maybe if you squint hard enough you’ll be able to see floppy ears perked to attention in his snowy hair or an eager tail whipping up a hurricane behind him as he brings you back his latest catch: a detained grade 2 curse manifested by the fear of monsters under the bed. Yeah, he knew you’d like something like that.

assistant!gojo— loves witnessing the way your eyes light up and it’s as if he can see the cogs immediately gearing to life in your smart little brain. He’s saluting exaggeratedly with a puffed out chest when you give him the go ahead to kill the thing after you’ve had your hand at it. It’s all he can do not to ask for a pat on the head and praise of how well he did. Getting a “Good boy,” out of you is on his mental vision board.

assistant!gojo— sticks around for the autopsies. Likes watching you poke around inside the creatures and is waiting on your hand and foot through the entire process. Scalpel? Bone saw? Enterotomy scissors? The bread knife??? He’s even starting to become attuned to your whims, tool already in hand before you extend your palm.

If you murmured an awed, “look at thaaat,” he’s quick to huddle in close under the pretense of observing whatever oddity that’s intrigued you. Only to squish his cheek against yours with a feigned, “hmm…mhmm…” nodding stiltedly, and not so discreetly nuzzling his face closer to yours with an impish glint in those azure eyes as he casts a sidelong glance to your skeptical neutrality.

assistant!gojo— staring at you with the widest puppy dog eyes as you discard your gloves and begin sketching diagrams of the latest brain you’ve picked apart, comparing it to the contradicting one of another curse, and contrasting from the drastically different human model you have. He can listen to you babble for hours, if only absorbing every other word of your theories on why a curse’s blood runs violet or how you’re so excited to get these samples to the lab. He’ll still chip in with his own question or hypothesis from time to time, because he’s curious too, but more than that he loves the way you answer.

assistant!gojo— purposely uses candy and sweets as a metaphor whenever you plead with him to explain how he views the electromagnetic spectrum through those eyes of his, just because he thinks it’s funny how desperate you are to know. To this day you can’t decode however the fuck that analogy about laffy taffy and rock candy was supposed to relate to infrared waves.

assistant!gojo— Satoru can’t decide what’s worse; the fact that he can’t get you out of his head or the fact that you want inside of his head

This whole situation is basically him giving you googoo eyes and kissy faces as you scribble down something on your clipboard and try to stick him with a needle

assistant!gojo— who’s willing to be a bit of a lab rat for you. He’s all giggles as he prances up to your vertical operation table, huffing lightly when you strap him against the cool steel. “Don’t be shy now, y’could go tighter than that. You know I like it when you tie me up,,” he encourages oh so unhelpfully.

assistant!gojo— chiding you to be careful when you begin application of the biosensors across his chest, cause he’ll get “a little too excited.” You don’t pay mind to his little quip until you see his already irregularly R-R intervals spike impossibly short on the electrocardiogram readings. And then again as you finish hooking him up to the machine.

assistant!gojo— thinks you might be overthinking what environmental stimuli might have caused that anomaly, or maybe judging by that poorly veiled smile and half-hearted “My mistake,” you’ve purposefully placed that one sensor node a little too low on his pelvis this time. Now that he’s thinkin’ about— yeah—there definitely wasn’t any need for you crouch so low until your nose was practically level with the apex of his thigh. Or for you to look up at him in a way that had him failing to suppress a shiver and his breath hitching when you smoothly rubbed the padding of the damn thing into his hip with your thumb. Aaaand fuck, he’s bricked in the lab. (again.)

He’d kill to know what’s going on in your noggin. And frankly he’s dying to get the pants off his fave smartypants.

a/n: as soon as I got this idea i was like ooo biting my lip and bigbig smile,, onto something? am I onto something??? would anybody maybemaybe read a one shot with this concept 👀? okay I love you byyyee

[sturnioz]

shy!reader getting fucked by chris so good that she gets caught up and let’s something dirty slip out of her mouth. fratboy!chris is surprised but INSANELY into it and proud to say the least.😮‍💨

"thaaats it — fuckin' take it." chris grunts from above, relishing in the sounds of your broken cries and whines as he fucks you against his bed, the wooden frame rocking against the floor.

your bodies are pressed together, sweaty and sticky, and your arms are wrapped around his shoulders, your fingernails digging into his back, creating small, red indents.

he's hitting all the spots deep within, causing you to squeeze around him as more pathetic noises tumble from your lips. chris hisses at the tightness of your cunt, his hands gripping your hips tighter as he picks up his pace, the wet, squelching noises of your cunt making you feel a little embarrassed — but its nothing you haven't heard before, not with him.

its when his head drops down to your neck, his lips nipping at your skin that the words resting on the tip of your tongue come spilling out;

"you fuh... fuck me s'good."

chris stills above you, and it takes a few moments for your brain to fully register what you just said, and the embarrassment hits you ten times harder than before, immediately squeezing your eyes shut and covering your face as chris leans up, repositioning himself to sit up between your legs.

you hate how quiet it is between you both now — apart from chris' laboured breaths. you peek through your fingers to see chris staring down at you with a surprised look sketched on his face, and his head slowly tilts to the side, squinting his eyes as his hands squeeze your hips.

"yeah?" he hums his first words, wetting his bottom lip with his tongue. "do i fuck you that good? can't get enough of this fuckin' dick? s'that right?"

you whine softly, bottom lip formed into a pout as you weakly whack his arm. "chris.."

"heard you, bun — heard you loud 'n fuckin' clear," chris grins, moving his hand to press down firmly on your stomach, rolling his hips forward, feeling his cock move beneath the skin and you gasp. "didn't uh... didn't think you would say some shit like that, y'know? ever. but... i'm into it. don't stop on my account, yeah? let it alll out f'me. know you can now."

[l13]

spiderverse twt links<33

WARNINGS : NSFW, 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI, f!reader, the links are literally p#rn, proceed at your own risk, there's also peter x miguel soo yknow

CHARACTERS: miguel o'hara, peter b parker, hobie brown, spider noir

miguel o'hara

♡ miguel fucking your pretty throat and holding your head till you're almost choking on his cock, his thighs shaking as he shoots his cum down your throat- knowing damn well you're gonna be a good girl and swallow for him, "Fucking choke on it, baby.." "S fucking good for me.. taught my pretty girl so well.."

♡ brain empty only miguel rubbing your pussy while he's snapping his hips up at you, snarling when he feels you clamping down on his cock, as you squirt messily, but oh he's not stopping yet "Thaaat's right.. That's. fucking. right," "Fucking cum for me now, baby"

♡ miguel playing with your pussy till you're clamping down on his fingers, gushing prettily as you cum, and he's barely holding himself from bending down and tasting your sweet cunt, his hard cock pulsing each time you tighten around his fingers, and he so badly wants to replace them with his cock, but he reminds himself to be patient 'cause he also just loves to see you fall apart like this:(

bonus miguel fingering you again (he's obsessed)

peter b parker

♡ peter + side fucking while you're facing himmm. he gets to have you pressed up against him, fucking into your pussy, and he gets to see your face? oh, yeah he's sold. gets SO fucking pussy drunk it's insane, "'h my God, baby- you're so fucking pretty- pussy's so pretty too. Doing so good for me, ah-" just can't seem to stop thrusting into you, coming in you over and over again

♡ peter thrusting his hips up to no use- literally humping the air as you kiss him, your hands running up and down his body, and he's whimpering, so so happy that you're even letting him cum that he doesn't even care that you're not touching his cock<33 "You're gonna make me come, baby... mmffuck yes, please-"

♡ peter humping the bed cause he misses you sooo much:( that's it that's the post

hobie brown

♡ hobie loves when you're on top of him, but that doesn't necessarily mean he lets you control the pace. he just loves pushing you down on his cock as he bucks his hips up, chasing your tight little pussy, as you mewl above him sweetly, "Cunt's suckin' me in, love, Christ-" "Greedy lil' thing, ain't ya?"

♡ gjdfkgjdkgj yeah yeah yup yeah. no yeah. YEAH. HOBIE jerking his cock while you're riding his face??? "Like that, lovie, mmf ride m'face harder-" his words are muffled against your drenched cunt, and he's slurping it all up greedily. 'nd then almost coming when you're riding him, thinking it's so unfair that you stopped- and he chooses to chase after you, start fucking you from behind, head tilted as he stares at where you're joined, slack jawed, squeezing and slapping your ass for good measure. "S rude, love, leavin' me like tha'. Not that rude now, are you, pretty?"

♡ very very very rare BUT when it happens it's absolute *chef's kiss*, pretty boy hobie thrusting his hips up to meet the pace of your hand, his pants and moans are so pathetic and it's so cute, and he's being so obedient for once:(( just sitting there taking what you give him- "FFuck yeah, love," "Ah just like that, you're s'good oh-"

spider noir

♡ shower sex with noir:(( where you're both just so infatuated with each other, stopping your kissing just for him to rub at your pussy before sliding his cock in, both of you letting out moans at the pleasure you're getting. he literally can't keep his hands off of you<33 "So God damn beautiful.. you're perfect, honey.." "I can't stop- Christ, you're tight,"

bonus :')

♡ mm he loves letting you take control once in a while, just absolutely losing himself when you tease him, showing him just what modern vibrators can do(LMFAO), he's moaning so sweetly for you as well, pretty boy just wanted a break:( "S-slow down a bit, Jesus christ- y're gonna kill me,"

♡ he loves to rub your pussy over your underwear so much, he's drooling at the sight, making sure to circle your clit as well, "Oh, honey... 's there something you want, hm?" "Look. at. that."

miguel x reader x peter

♡ um yeah.

miguel x peter

♡ ♡ ♡ i had to 🤭

[jesuistrestriste]

whispering in art’s ear, playing with his sensitive nipples, putting ur fingers in his mouth as u give him a reach-around while he’s sat on ur lap… ugh, the dream.

art’s bare back rests against your clothed chest, warm and slightly shaky, as your firm words keep his legs obediently spread apart.

“thaaat’s it, hon,” you purr into his ear, nodding, as your fingertips on both hands work to rub little teasing circles over his nipples, “good boy… it feels good, yeah?”

he squirms.

“mm—“ he whines out softly, and his head tips back against your shoulder, but he nods a little to appease you anyway.

his hands move to grip your ankles—the ones keeping his limbs caged in with yours—and he squeezes gently as he lets out a sharp moan and shudders forward. you watch his spine curl over.

“oh!” you smirk, leaning forward a bit to look down between his legs where his darkened boxers barely contain his arousal, “so cute.. you’re wet just like a girl, baby—“

art keens, his abdomen tensing and shaking as a heavy blurt of precome spills into the confines of the material, and he shakes his head.

“can i come?” he whispers breathlessly and desperately.

“nuh uh. not yet. i haven’t even started playing with you properly, you know that. what ever happened to slowing down and just enjoying the ride?” you tease, your hands slowly gliding down his abdomen.

he shakes his head.

“i gotta come, it hurts—“ he whimpers.

you sigh tiredly, but there’s no real anger or annoyance to it.

you just need him to learn when to shut his mouth. and if he won’t do it, you’ll do it for him.

“i’m getting sick all of this whining, art. now be good and open up,” you hum.

he obeys, no surprise there, and you reach your right hand up and gingerly slide your middle and ring finger over the soft, wet warmth of his tongue. he immediately moans and closes his eyes, his mouth working to envelop your digits as he suckles and drools around them helplessly like a starved puppy.

your left hand goes down into the front of his boxers and you wrap it around him as you feel him suck your fingers to the back of his throat.

“MM—! Mmmph—!” he whines loudly and pathetically, his hips arching up into your touch.

he licks and gasps and murmurs around your touch in his mouth like he’s worried you’ll pull away at any second, and your other hand starts to fist his cockhead wetly as his cries get louder, and louder, and louder, and louder—

“AHHMMPH—“ the blonde shakes in his seat between your legs, sticky saliva finally dripping down over his toned stomach as his jaw drops into a sinful ‘o’ and his blunt nails dig into your skin. you pull back your fingers from his mouth, and thick transparent strings of spit follow suit.

art doesn’t waste a second. he can’t.

“ohhh, can i come now..?” he breathes out urgently, like he’s one wrong move away from blowing his load before he can get your say-so, “can i please? oh god, please, i need to come, i wanna come for you—“

it’s hard not to give in when he looks like such a pathetic mess.

“fine,” you say gently, leaning in to kiss the side of his neck, “but i better hear how grateful you are. i wanna hear you say it when you feel it coming out, ‘kay?”

art braces himself, the suffocating flood of pleasure causing his limbs to lock up as he nods the best he can.

“ohh, my god, oh my god, oh my god, yes yes yes, i will, i will i— im— im about to—“

the first squirt of his orgasm catches him completely off-guard, and then he’s tumbling over the steep edge with a sharp sob; tears are spilling before he can blink them away, and the copious wetness suddenly seeping through his underwear and over your moving grasp can no longer be ignored.

“OHH! yes-ss-! i’m coming, i’m coming, i’m fucking cuhhminggh—!” he shudders out lowly and cries, “d-ohh, please, thank you, thank you, thank you thank you—!”

his body trembles against yours as he lets out a stupidly large amount of fluid, but you pump him through every wave till he’s slurring his words and telling you that he “can’t take it anymore” (he could, he can, he’s just a bit of a baby sometimes).

after he’s all spent and done, he tilts his head back and to the side so that he can kiss you, and he’s surprised when the warmth of your hand can no longer be felt against his tingling flesh. and then your tongue in his mouth is being replaced by your fingers that are absolutely covered in his spend.

on another day, maybe he’d feel a little odd about it, but you’ve lulled him into such a fucked-out headspace that he can’t help but start licking and sucking himself off of you.

after all, it’s just another way to show his appreciation for all that you do for him. all that you allow him to feel via your loving hands, and your loving mouth, and your loving hole(s).

“thank you,” he mumbles, his mouth thick and full of his own spit and come and your soft digits, but you understand him perfectly.

how could you not?

[13curses]

౨ৎ ‧₊˚ ⋅ 𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐈𝐓 𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍, 𝐌𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐈𝐓 𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐘! ✗ geto suguru (𝟏𝟖+)

MDNI ⸝⸝ f!reader ⸝ creampie ⸝ unprotected sex ⸝ riding ⸝ suguru loves u so much ⸝ m!dom x f!sub ⸝ praise ⸝ dirty talk ⸝ implied multiple rounds, cunnilingus & cum eating

synopsis ꒱ your first time riding suguru. ᡣ𐭩 wc ꒱ 1.7k

you've been meaning to moan out your readiness for riding him long before the orgasm he's just yielded from you, but the post-climax cooldown made you huff, puff, then whimper shyly. suguru immediately adjusted to your command: he removed his sticky cock, creating a sopping sound as it was soaked from the mixture of both your arousals.

pulling you into his lap, suguru holds you by the fat of your ass as you kneel on the crumpled bedsheets. a flush goes by your cheeks. you have yet to get used to the feeling of being atop, and you're currently processing it by avoiding eye contact — on the other hand, you're clinging onto suguru's vast shoulders for dear life.

“go on, little one.” he squeezes your flesh, “sink.”

a loud swallow elevates down your throat as you pant. the two of you are sex-crazed, so if you don’t begin the second round soon, he’s surely driving you back to the mattress, drilling into your clammy hole. your pussy is throbbing from having just been used and from the emptiness.

“fuck— mkay.” you exhale, readjusting your position.

in the meantime, your slick is dripping onto suguru’s thighs in strings. for moral support, you lean forward to exchange an untidy kiss, lips creating the wet noise your gummy walls should be designing. any moment now.

“guide me?” you mewl, the sound producing a twitch in his cock.

his hands travel up your lower back, a reassuring caress subduing his carnal drives.

“'f course, baby, how could i not?”

he’s so cocky, but only ‘cause he knows you’re as lustful as him. if you were to back out, he’d be perfectly happy to fuck you in any position that requires you to be below. you scurry closer, and as his tip brushes against your folds, you let out a bewitching moan. you hug suguru’s upper back and he embraces your smaller frame with so much confidence: he’s convinced his baby’s going to do a great job from the get-go.

“that’s it— take me, baby. y’know my cock fits her perfectly, especially when she’s dripping.”

the double-meaning refers to your watery arousal and the load he’s given you.

“it’s not g’na be any different, yeah? just sink, sweetheart.”

his words send a shiver down your spine, your knees buckle, hence your composure is damned. you’re low enough to make suguru feel your hole pulsate with need. his groan echoes in your eardrums.

“fuuuck— sugu—“ your eyebrows clinch, and before you could hover over his shaft, he guides your hips to stay centered. caving in, your legs split further apart.

suguru’s enchanted everytime he witnesses you taking him. he scans your folds splaying across his cock as you descend, eyes far from your hips which he’s controlling. a jack of all trades.

“thaaat’s it..”

your dampness has you sliding down in seconds, half of him already stretching you out. the feeling isn’t strange, the position is; you bite your bottom lip, craving a reassuring glance from suguru. he blinks slowly then meets your eye, full of thirst. he displays an intoxicated grin, pulling you closer by your flexed shoulder blades. suguru rests his chin on your sternum, looking up at you with obsession.

“'s that all, angel?” he taunts, drawing a whimper out of you.

“n–no.. lemme jus'..”

suguru shuts up and before you could use your remaining thinking skills, he’s peppering your neck with warm kisses. you look down to meet his half-lidded gaze. akin to an illusionist, he’s got you dropping on your knees. the fulfillment has got your eyes rolling into the back of your skull, but you must rest your face on his shoulder.

“what a good fuckin' girl.” he praises, caressing your back with a wieldy hand, the other rounded around your thigh. “now– you need to start moving f' me, okay, my angel? make yourself feel good.”

“'n you.” you add, dainty.

a low, but known and sweet chuckle escapes him.

“and me, yeah, but you know i could cum from just your tightness, while we need to hit all your sensitive little spots.”

his hot breath rouses your skin. you straighten your seat, and like you think you’re supposed to do you place your palms on his shoulders. keeping each other close, your breasts stick to his chest. suguru’s hands are cupping your ass once again, ready to control as much of the ride as you need him to. you begin to move rotationally, feeling him up from above. he doesn’t take his watchful gaze off of you, no, he’s comforting you with every carnal glance.

“that’s iiit,” he licks his lips, dry from keeping them agape. his unruly, significant bangs fall on his temple, somehow heightening his attractiveness. seeing him so supportive and sensual gives the pit of your belly a feeling like you’re getting off to his sight.

that feeling advises you to start ebbing, controlling suguru’s cock inside you. the ongoing discovery of this sensation brings a fucked out, dim smile on your face. you yearn to move faster, pants hitching at the cardio.

“slow down,” suguru restraints your hips. “bounce more on me.”

you nod among heavy breaths, wrapping arms around his neck to fix your motion. he places a kiss between your boobs, complimenting you delicately, “get going, precious.”

once he’s stopped you from writhing like pace matters over flexibility, his cock encounters the sweet bump deep within your core. your body jolts in a pleasant shock and a deprived cry escapes your throat.

“oh my gosh— yes! yes!”

suguru holds you by your upper thighs, his knuckles technically a seat for your jiggling ass, looking up at you infatuated.

“yeah? yeah? feels better?”

you can exclusively respond in wails.

“haah–ah! sugu~♡!!”

the sound of your flooding juices echoes off the four walls, not to mention your boobs rising then falling with every pounce. he’s your biggest fucking fan and the correct rhythm composing a cross-eyed, serene view of your face goes straight into his dick. it jerks as much as it can in your narrow, suffocating walls, but it’s enough to make you arch your spine and almost close your legs.

“fuuuck—” he curses, hoarse, “i’m too close—ah fuck!” he moans, lips shaping an O, brows drawing near.

he tries to delay his climax by focusing on seperating your thighs, but alas… they’re gorgeous. spasming every bounce due to your hard work, sweat overlayered with rolls of your wetness, and he’s boring his digits into the flesh, and shit, is that a runnel of his seed from the last round? you’ve kept it so warm inside you that it hasn’t dried and is now splashing out of your cunt?

he can’t avoid the thought of filling you up once more.

“fu–uuck, i have to—ah! you’re doin' so well, doll.. brought me so close, so quick—mmph–!”

you put your hands on his oh-so-firm ones that are arraying veins now. you grip his wrists for balance you have yet to master.

“suguru…” you purr, blinking through blurred lashes to clear your vision, soft whines interrupting your conversation, “c-come.”

he wants to ask back, but he can merely moan in unison with you. your breathing accelerates, and his hold on you travels up your body, stopping at your ribs, thumbs pressing your underboobs. your tempo is behaving so well within his hand placement. you want to compliment it by tracing his hands with yours, but the tightening coil in your stomach has you gasping and circling right back to holding onto his tense shoulders.

suguru’s first orgasm from his pretty baby bouncing on him. he tilts his head back, grits his teeth and plummets upward with his hips, diving into your cervix with a satiated moan. his semen spurts into you, unpausable. his cock was thick enough, but the additional bulky liquid extends the bulge in your lower tummy. certainly, you can’t contain so much while hopping like a bunny in heat to reach your high, so a lot of his white drips out of you, creating cobwebs that thread from your slit to suguru’s crotch.

“s-suguru!! sugusugusugu—“ you repeat desperately, overworking your more than sore thighs. your windblown hair falls onto your face, stuck by sweat, but you do not care how messy and inexperienced you are, you must relieve the knot in your belly.

“'m coming, i’m coming, mwaah— i’m g’na—!”

“cum for me, yeah, give it all t' suguru, go on, pretty baby.” suguru promotes, and the first wave of your orgasm crashes through you in jerks, your back hunches as you embrace suguru.

he embraces you with his massive arm, fucking up into you with long, womb-reaching thrusts to help you through your climax. he has to force you down before you elevate from his dick, unfamiliar with the best way to curve yourself when on top.

“sweet baby~ hold on jus' a little longer. that’s it, fuck me through it, baby love.. yeah, so fuckin' good.”

clamping down on him, a series of sobs overcome you. you nestle to suguru’s face with yours, grinding uncontrollably through the ridges of your release. suguru strokes each knob of your spine with such care, you could fall asleep after the very last tremors of your orgasm finish. you pant in sync, your vocals filled with sensitive whimpers.

palms on his torso, you balance yourself on his heaving chest.

“hnn~ was i any good..?”

suguru scans you like you’re a goddess, listing kisses on your throat and jawline.

“stunning. you did so, so right, sweet little thing.”

you respond in a mewl, brushing his cheek with your nose as you turn your head to swap sloppy kisses.

“i’ve yet to train you, heh,” he adds between tastes of your tongue.

“mmh, not yet, please..” you plead, but you imply another round, during which you’d love to be underneath.

“we have time.” suguru purrs, sickeningly sweet, “besides, i’ve got to reward my favorite girl.”

he pulls your fold with his thumb while the rest of his fingers push on your bladder, causing his cream to ooze out of you, glistening in the moonbeam.

“suguru’s favorite~?”

“mhm. his favorite, with a cherry on top.”

you’re not sure if he’s referring to you or your pussy. either way, he’s about to eat you out until the sheets are pooled with the juices of you both.

[cherrysha]

Feel

Pairing: Uvogin x Reader

A/N: if you follow me then this topic was probably expected...

Word Count: 700

Warnings: Maybe masochism, pain play

“Hurts Uvo” you whine, hips unsuccessfully bucking away from his iron grip. Right now his warm hands feel like they’re branding you, clamped tight to your hips as he keeps you propped up on your knees. He’d wanted to try this, said it’d make you feel so so good, but right now all you could feel was a dull pinch deep in your womb. 

“Yeah,” he croons, a thumb rubbing circles into the skin of your hips, “but doesn’t it feel good too?” 

You’re shaking your head ‘no’, no it did not feel good. It felt like Uvo was pressing against something he aught not to, pushing his length too deep against something too sensitive. Forcing you to make room when there was none. 

“Just relax” he groans, his head lolling back as his eyes close.

 “let yourself really feel it…” with his last words he’s slowly pushing in deeper, deeper until you swear the pain is turning into an ache that won’t go away.

But you try, as you always do for Uvo, breathing in deep before willing yourself to loosen the tight clamp you have on his cock. 

It takes a moment, more than a moment if you’re being honest, but you start to feel it. A budding sense of pleasure swirling to the forefront of your mind with every languid thrust Uvo unleashed upon your cervix. It was a different type of pleasure, unlike the overwhelming feeling of touching your clit with too much pressure, it felt like your whole body lit up at his consistent prodding of your insides, despite the pain it caused. 

“Feelin’ it now sweetheart?” 

You could hear the cocky grin in his voice, could just picture the sharp flash of his white teeth as you slowly sank your upper body into the mattress. 

“I think so- Ah!” Uvo’s hips slam against yours, forcing his cock even deeper, increasing the pressure on your poor cervix until you felt like screaming, before pulling back and repeating the action again, and again, and again. 

And inexplicably ur pussy opens up to the sensation instead of clamping down. You get so much wetter when your cervix is being bullied, so much looser. It’s like ur pussy wants him that close to your womb, craves every brutal thrust from the man above you.

There’s still an ache, a feeling of being stuffed too full, but the new pace has your mind blanking, drool pooling on the sheets below you as a rhythmic “Ah! Ah! Ah!” Falls from your lips.

“Thaaats it” Uvo growls, “just let me in sweetheart.”

And you do, oh god you do. You can’t help it, not when every nerve ending is being lit on fire so succinctly. 

“Please!-“ your hands are clawing the sheets in an effort to get up, to get away before you break. You don’t know what you’re begging for. More, less, it doesn’t matter. It’s all too much, too much pain, too much pleasure. You’re strung so tight that when you cum it’s with a scream, tears streaming down your face as Uvo continues to pound you into oversensitivity. 

His hands are the only thing keeping your hips up as he continues to fuck you senseless, and you’re past the point of cognizance, past the point of caring as your orgasm ebbs through you. It doesn’t seem to be stopping, the tip of Uvo’s thick cock preventing you from coming down with every slick bump into the sensitive end of you. 

When he finally takes pity on you, and you know that’s what it is; Uvo could go for hours if he wanted to, your face is wet from the puddle of tears and saliva you’d unwittingly left on the bed. He cums with a groan, pushing as deep as he can go and making another whine escape your wet throat. 

He’s hauling your body up, a gush of his release leaving you as he flips your spent body over, chuckling at the dazed look on your face, the gloss of your wet swollen lips, before covering them with his own. 

 “Feel good baby?”

[kittyhowlett]

just a quick little drabble bc i’m think about 2013 the wolverine logan.

yk the drill, minors dni.

it’s a quiet night. You’re sitting on the couch with Logan by the fireplace. It’s a little chilly outside and Logan arrived home from work five minutes ago and plopped right down on the couch. Sitting back, undoing his tie, spreading his legs and throwing his head back, letting out a deep sigh. You plopped right down next to him with a cup of tea in your hand, hoping it would warm you up a little bit. It’s been silent for five minutes now. Just sitting in each other presence. He looks up at you with his head still thrown back. You took the opportunity to break the silence.

“How was work?” you finally said.

“Stressful.” he exclaimed with an unamused look.

You frowned slightly, “I think i know something that could cheer you up tho….” it was hard to say it without giggling.

“I’m not in the mood, princess” He threw his head back again, closing his eyes.

You knew it would be wrong, to be a fucking selfish little brat, especially when he was tired from work. But you couldn’t help it, it’s just too fun right?

You slowly rises your legs up so that your knees were touching your chest and sat with your back against the arm of the couch. You slowly tiptoed your legs closer to him. You’re plum ankle socks coming in contact with his crotch. Slowly rubbing your foot against the tent growing in his pants. You gave him a cheeky little smile and his eyes grew dark.

“Cmon, sweets don’t play this game with me” his gruff voice broken by a choked back moan.

He was so obviously getting worked up. And it made your panties dampen thinking what he was gonna do next.

He grabbed your legs softly, caressing them as he did.

“I’m serious honey”

You couldn’t help but giggle at getting under his skin so fast by something so small.

But much to your surprise, he threw your legs off of him and grabbed your face, smushing your cheeks together.

“ You wanna act like a fuckin’ brat? Hm? You wanna be taught a lesson so bad right? Huh? I’m speaking to you princess, it’s disrespectful to not answer.”

“I- I’m sorry” you tried to say but it came out as a tiny whisper.

“Yeah I know you are, but that’s not enough for me” his voice came out so demanding, it made your core clench around nothing.

“Get on your knees, now.”

You wasted no time doing so, not wanting to disobey and rile him up even more.

He swiftly placed your upper body over his right knee and your legs were now on either side of his other knee.

“You wanna play so badly, go ahead. Do what you need to do.” He grunted.

You felt your face heating up by his tone and the very vulnerable position he had you in here.

“I’m sorry, Logan…” you pouted.

“Mm-mm you don’t get to call me that anymore, sweetie” God, he made your tummy twist.

“I’m sorry, sir” you whined.

“Mm, was that so hard sweetheart?” he said, groping your ass then landing a harsh smack that made you squeak.

“Go ahead, baby no one’s stopping you. Do what you want to” You knew he wanted you to grind on his knee so you can see how much of a desperate little slut you are. And as much as you wanted to continue being a brat, you also know that that’s what you’re dying to do.

Another harsh smack landed on your ass making you mewl and jerk forward causing friction against your cunt.

“Fuck sweetie, your princess parts getting nice and wet for me? Can smell you already…” He groaned.

The friction felt so good that you involuntarily started grinding your cunt on his knee.

“Thaaat’s it. See how much fun we can have when you’re a good girl?” Another smack landed on your pink tinted cheeks, this one a little softer than the other two.

“Mm, yeaaaa gonna cum, sir” you whined out.

“Oh yeah? You gonna make a mess in those little panties? Hm?” he was taunting you but it was just what you needed to send you right over the edge. You felt your eyes roll back into your skull as a wave of ecstasy crashed over you. His word turning your brain into a mushy mess of submission.

“Thereeeee we go baby, what a sweet girl.”

You couldn’t even register a thought other than feeling his overwhelming dominant presence. Your brain just consisted of him, him, him. And it felt so good. No words came out of your mouth but he already knew what you needed.

“Come here” he brought you fully onto his lap so you’re straddling him. You buried your face in his neck and he caressed your back.

“Need you, Logan.” was all you manage to get out.

He let out a hearty chuckle and pulled you in for a kiss, thrusting his hips up slightly to remind you of the very large tent in his pants.

“I think we should take this part to the bed yeah?”

this is completely self indulgent and also my first time writing something so elaborative. so i’m sorry if it makes no sense lol just wanted to get my thoughts out there. also was not proof read so sorry for any grammatical mistakes :/

[apollodarling-writes]

omg i had a thought about dbd ghostface. mdni !!

cw : yandere themes, perv danny, non-consensual kissing, danny dry humps you, non-consensually nsfw themes, non-consensual picture taking, danny forces an orgasm out of you, slight knife-play, danny calls the reader bunny, afab anatomy but no prns used, danny cuts open readers shirt, implied murder of other survivors,

“thaaats it, bunny. cry f’me.” danny’s eyes lock onto yours as he shifts to grab his polaroid. his breathing becomes labored as he lifts his mask angling the camera to get the both of you, pressing a sloppy kiss to your cheek. a broad grin stretched across his features, sweat dripping down his temple as he admires you.

“pl—please…. let me go.” you cry.

“let you go? but bunny, don’t you enjoy our time together?” he sneers, trailing the cool blade of his bowie knife along your exposed flesh. his fingers roughly grip your jaw, molding his lips to yours in a feverish display of his obvious affection. his lips trail along your jaw and throat, groaning as you try to squirm away from his onslaught.

danny presses your shoulders down, grinding his half-hard cock into the soft meat of your thigh. he angles his hips in a way that causes a wave of pleasure to wash over you, a grin splitting his cheeks as you squeeze your eyes shut.

“y’liked that didn’t you, bunny?” he groans, rutting his hips into you faster, his head dropping to the curve of your throat and pressing open mouthed kisses to your bloodied and sweat-slicked flesh. “just be a good bunny and take it.”

you soon feel a familiar sensation pooling in your tummy, panties unwillingly sticky with arousal, and you couldn’t feel more disgusted with yourself. you feel the tip of his blade slice open your shirt, tracing what you assume to be the letters of his name on your stomach.

“bunny,” danny murmurs, “i’m gonna cum. need y’to cum with me.”

you shake your head, a sob ripping from your throat as he sinks his knife into your thigh. “cum. or i’ll make sure your next match is hell.”

danny brushes his cockhead against your clit in a way that has your back arching and a poorly muffled whine leaving your lips — cumming with the man that has made your new life hell.

“that’s a good bunny, cum f’me.” he growls, his rutting slowly coming to stop. danny watches with interest as tears stream down your cheeks, his tongue darting out to lick them away.

“so pretty.” danny’s eyes soften ever so slightly as he leans down to kiss your lips before throwing you over his shoulder. you find no will to struggle against him — you knew you would be hooked and killed by the entity immediately. that’s just how danny rolled.

to your surprise, danny walks right past every hook he comes across, seemingly searching for something in particular. was he going to let you get hatch? was he really going to let you escape? sure enough, danny drops you right in front of hatch, stealing another kiss as compensation.

“bye bye, little bunny. i look forward to our next trial together.” he waves at you in a way that has you scrambling to exit through the hatch, a frown tugging at his lips as he pulls his mask back down.

[deyisacherry]

hi i have two (2) questions

are you the person on yt that makes those masm sun x moon comps... bc if so, i have watched those so many times and im losing my mind i love them so much thank u for the content

bwahaha what are ur opinions on the episodes from today n yesterday (11/28 and 29) :3 ... rip any chance for sun and moon to be together legitimately EAHAHGFHA

OH HAIII

AJALDHWKD YEAHHH IT'S MEE KICKS A ROCK,,, OMGG YOU'VE SEEN THOSE AHWLFHEKFHWJJFD thank you so much for watching my silly compilations<'3333, the gays got me a YouTube editor arc fr

AND UHHHGHEJSWJHXKSFJ I HAVE SOSOSOSO MUCH TO SAAAY MANNNNNN YEAH ugbsuwhfjd iii guess we'll never have them siiigh idk what do i expect from this bois (no hate, just used to it)...

with complete honesty i do not support moon using a love potion on sun, HE SHOULD'VE TRIED SOMETHING ELSE, BE BETTER TO HIM, ANYTHING BUT THAAAT but then again my goodness he's so clueless he's so dumb he's SO INNOCENT AHWLFHEKF MY GUY DOESN'T UNDERSTAND EMOTIONS NO ONE HAS ACTUALLY GUIDED HIM PROPERLY TO KNOW WHAT TO DO, YEAH "BE NICER" BUT TELL HIM HOOOOW HE'S TOO SILLY

forcing someone to love you with love potions is crazy and not good, THEN AGAIN, MORAL?? SUN DID THE SAME AND NO ONE WAS TRASHING ON HIM FOR IT, THEY THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY HSQLHD??? and also

i

had so many cute little sun x moon moments without moon actually breaking any boundary MORE THAN JUST GIVING HIM A LIL KISSY ON THE CHEEK that i can't truly be grossed out by it

IT WAS ON HIS CHEEK WHEN IT COULD'VE BEEN ON HIS LIPS!!!! AND HE DIDN'T!!!! HE RESPECTS HIM!!!!! WJLSGEKJD

he was GENUINELY BEING SO NICE TO HIM, MY BOY WENT TO MAAAAKE CUPCAKES FOR HIM, NOT EVEN BUY, MAKE, HE MADE 129 CUPCAKES CAUSE DIDN'T KNOW WICH ONE WOULD HE LIKE THE MOOOSTGHJSJHSJSHSH

and and abqndbwnndbebfkf

don't get me wrong i don't HATE or despise Roxanne, i just don't like they're making her this DIRTY, THAT EVIL LAUGH GOT ME DEATH STARING AT MY PHONE AHQKHFKWGH ??? WHY WOULD SHE ACT LIKE THAAAT

on god was it just for the potion i would support her but this

THIS

TAKING SUN ON A DATE RIGHT AFTER HEARING HOW HEARTBROKEN MOON WAS???? THAT'S NOT COOL ROXANNE

they're all so fricking dumb dumb blocky dummies omg

AND DUDE MOON WASN'T EVEN MAD (yet) AT ROXANNE, HE WAS JUST SHOCKED AND SAD AND WALKED AWAYYYYYY, UGHHHHDWJZJS HE LITERALLY PROVED HE WOULD BE A GOOD BOYFRIEND

UGH MOONNNNN IF YOU ONLY HAD AN IDEA OF WHAT TO DO TO MAKE SUN THINK IT THROUGH AGAINNNNN

ughhhanshnebf but i guess by sun's words he will never like moon, i guess, i suppose, i dunno, i'm so saaaaaaaaaaad i just want my gay people, why is that so much to ask foooor THEY DON'T HAVE TO BE LOVEY DOVEY I JUST WANT THEM TO PLAY TOGETHER AND MOON GETTING SUN A LITTLE FLUSTERED AGAINNNN I CAN HAVE THAAAAT

anyway anygay......... i still like my ship

i respectfully don't fw roxanne x sun.......

and i am doomed to like doomed yaoi

THANKS FOR THE QUESTIONSSSS AAA

[pumpkinsy0]

curly and pony seem like the type to go out to watch other couples and make fun of other couples on valentines day (granted they are not paying thaaat much attention, they got their own business to attend to. “get a load of these guys” cut to them doing something even worse hours later)

THAT EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT, like they do NOT care if its even the first valentines they r spending together theyre both haters at heart and thats never changing

even when they do cornier things later, in their heads theyre thinking “what the HELLLL am i doing for this guy” all mortified bc they never thought they would get like this, then go right back to doing it cause AS LONG AS NOOOOOBODY FINDS OUT,,,,they r safe,,,,,,,

[dorkhellbside]

HELLO!

this is desta-joy-d-etc-etc comin' in hot with another homestuck blog as referenced by the b side in the url. the main one would be @conceptofjoy.

general info and content warnings under the cut. suggested ages 16≥, and no stri-cest shippers please and thank you.

collaborative music yt playlist view link || invite link send an ask by if you just want to rec a song.

aggregate of dirkhal content; im using the ship name here, but i really just mean any weirdly intense interaction between the two. i love studying them with a magnifying glass. hashtag alter hal truther.

i fuck heavy with dirkjakehal. we might have to fight if i see a mf diss english with their whole chest.

huge fan of t-fem hal and t-masc dirk. you'll probably see me she/they hal a lot. i have a human design of hal i default to that exists in my imaginary post canon scenario. more deets on the other blog but there's not a whole lotta story, i'm afraid.

no 𝚜𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚌𝚎𝚜𝚝, any reblogs i make will be avoiding posts with those tags, and i'm a very liberal with blocking if you apply them to my own ^_^. we can hash out the ethics of hypothetical clone fucking, but like, really? is this what we want to be doing? don't like don't follow and i'll be doing the same.

CONTENT TAGGING! this is important. there will be heavy discussions and depictions of abysmal mental health and power imbalances and i will try to be top of that shit with the tags, but also tell me if you need something tagged even if its not "thaaat serious". subjects/ tags may include: physical abuse, verbal abuse, codependency, decapitation, gore, (those will be tagged separately), self harm, unreality and disassociation, freud and incest as it is discussed thematically in homestuck, suicide and suicidal ideation, intrusive thoughts, dubious consent, suggestive content, nudity, nsfw. the list's always gonna be a work in process, learnin' as i go here. also, cause of their general consent issues and the nature of their relationship, it's like... ok, what im saying is, not posting rape. totes reasonable to not trust a rando on the internet with what qualifies as ""dubious consent"", do what you need to do brah.

[briskii]

Such A Gentleman

°~~°~~~°~~~°~~~°~~~°~~~°~~~°~~~°~~~°~~~°~~~°~~°

word count: 573 (short blurb)

tags: AFAB!reader, mirror sex, dacryphillia, dumbificaton, mix of degradation and praise, Nanami being rough

Synopsis: He loves to spoil you, that much is a given. You’d be ignorant to think otherwise; between the various gifts that have shown up at your doorstep since the beginning of your relationship, and the sweet words he’ll quietly drown you in from time to time, it shouldn't be such a surprise that you're on your way to orgasm number 3.

“C’mon, sweetheart.” He mumbled, the harshness of his tone going straight to your cunt. “Let me see you come undone, pretty girl.” The sight in front of you is unbelievable; Nanami, who’s usually so doting and sincere, has you sobbing on his lap - ankles by your head as he fucks up into you roughly. You manage to catch his eye in the mirror in front of you; his pupils are blown wide with lust, and his gaze is anything but doting.

It was harsh glare; and of course, it went straight to your core.

“Such a pretty slut for me. Can’t do anything but moan and whine,” he chastises, as his hand snakes around your throat. “Keep those legs up for me. You’re far from done.” He kept his pace consistent and sharp as your smaller hands replaced his large ones on your thighs. Nanami’s free hand wandered down to your clit, rubbing harsh circles on the now oversensitive bundle of nerves. You couldn't speak, opting instead for high-pitched whines and mewls as your eyes rolled back into your skull. The grip Nanami had on your neck was enough to make your vision spotty.

You were going to cum very, very soon. And you're sure Nanami knew that.

“That’s it, pretty girl. Takin’ my cock so well,” he groaned, his voice filled with a sudden, famillar fondness. “just like I know you can.” His hot breath against your ear, along with the contrast of Nanami’s degradation and praise, is what had you clenching hard around his cock as you came suddenly with a loud moan. His thrusts never faltered as he chuckled behind you.

“Thaaat's it. Such a good girl, spoiling me like this.”

The hand that was wrapped around your neck moved up to your chin, forcing your gaze toward the mirror.

“I think you can take one more,” He asserted, watching as his cock hammered into you repeatedly. You nodded your head dumbly, wanting nothing more than to take whatever he was willing to give. He chuckled once more.

“That’s my girl.”

You watched as he grabbed your thighs once again, using them as leverage to bounce you onto him as his v-line slapped against your ass rapidly. Nanami was furrowing his brows now, his thrusts getting more shalllow and sloppy as he neared his release. He bit your shoulder as he continued to plunge into you.

“Princess, ‘m gonna cum- gunna fuckin’ fill you up, fuck-” He growled, his words becoming more slurred as he fucked deeper into you.

You were beyond communication at this point; it felt so fucking good, you felt tears threaten to spill at the corners of your eyes. Tongue lolled out and eyes basically crossed from the pleasure, Nanami continued to use you like a cocksleeve.

“Fuck, cumming-” was all he muttered before you felt him release into you. The warmth that spread inside of you caused you to clench hard onto the larger man, spraying your cum all over his work pants and your shared mattress.

You two stayed like that for a short while before Nanami pulled out of you. He wrapped his hands around your torso, and pulled you in for a hug.

He smiled at you through the mirror, as he caressed your cheek lovingly.

“Let’s go get cleaned up, sweetheart.”

-----------------------------

sorry for the wait :3 requests are always open!

[weirdmarioenemies]

WHAT is the deal with Mario’s mouth?!

We’ve been talking about Mario’s wacky enemies and allies for over five whole years now! That’s a lot of years, and a lot of Mario franchise characters! For obvious reasons, we’ve never talked thaaat much about Mario himself, since he is by definition the most Conventional Mario Entity. But even our beloved marketable and relatable everyman has some... interesting design choices, to say the least! Case in point: his mouth, or the lack of one!

Mario is a funny cartoon guy! As you may know, his most iconic features, including his mustache, were intentionally chosen in order for his design to be clear just from seeing a tiny sprite. A mouth would be hard to parse, but a mustache stands out, while simultaneously framing his trademark nose! You do not need me to tell you Mario’s Mighty Mustache is such a famous feature of the fellow. And even in official artwork, as if to pay tribute to the ‘stache that started it all, Mario is often depicted with no mouth at all! The intent seems to be that the mustache obscures the mouth, and I think the result is usually rather cute... but sometimes their insistence upon it gets to be a bit much.

Take Mario’s Cement Factory for Game & Watch, for example! Game & Watch games were great at making their little monochrome characters pop with wacky and exaggerated expressions... unless they’re Mario, I guess! Are they really so scared to alter Mario’s squeaky-clean image that he can’t even express fear or anxiety? It’s ok to feel those things, Mario! Do they not want us to think Mario is at all like us?

A mouth is often an integral part of a cartoon character’s design, allowing for more varied facial expressions, as well as a clear indicator of who is talking when, and which voice is coming out of each character! At least, you’d think so, right? Evidently, Nintendo did not think so, and had one strict rule about Mario’s portrayal: no mouths! DiC obliged, and Mario spoke, mouthlessly. It’s rather eerie, really. His mustache does flutter while he talks, so you can tell it’s him speaking, but why is it fluttering? What is causing it to move? Is there wind blowing out of a mouth that is not there? We need answers, Nintendo!!!

For the most convincing possible performance, Captain Lou Albano was asked to remove his mouth before recording his lines. Respect!

Sometimes, though, they go too far with the mouthlessness. Baby Mario doesn’t have a mustache to pretend the mouth is hiding behind. Shouldn’t he have a visible mouth??? Either there is more to it than this, or it is just a blunder that somehow made it past testing. Was Mario perhaps born with no mouth at all...?

And in that case, why would his twin brother Luigi be born WITH a mouth? Baby Luigi has a mouth, Regular Luigi has a mouth, and I assume Old Luigi will have a mouth, too. Any geneticists want to weigh in? It would be highly appreciated!

Don’t be sad, Mario! I don’t think less of you for your bizarre mouth situation. I don’t think anyone does! It’s fascinating and charming! I am intrigued, in the sense that I would like to dissect you, but I respect you too much to do that right now. What matters is that Mario does not have a mouth in any sense of the word, there is just nothing there, and that is okay.

...MARIO PLEASE EXPLAIN!!!