#C y'all after exams

[zozo-01]

[head in hands] the damien kinnie in me fights hard, but university and perpetual burnout fights h a r d e r

[mypoisonedvine]

𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝗮𝗻 𝗲𝗹𝗲𝘃𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗿 | eddie munson x reader

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆 | based on a request from the lovely @ultraintrovertedgryffindor ; getting stuck in an elevator with his best friend (and secret crush) was absolutely not on eddie's morning agenda, but it leads to one of his most wild fantasies coming to life.

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 | 3.8k

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 | SMUT (18+ only!! semi-public sex, oral m receiving, kinda pervy eddie but also slightly pervy reader with a balls fixation gee I wonder where that idea came from), best friends to lovers (but very very limited plot haha), pretty much exactly what it says on the tin y'all not sure what to say

Eddie laughed as he pressed his hands to the elevator doors, but it wasn't a laugh of amusement— it was exasperation, frustration, an is this really happening? laugh.

"Soonest we can get a crew out there is uhh... noon?" the voice on the emergency phone informed you.

"Noon?!" you yelped. "It's not even half past eight!"

"What did I tell ya?" Eddie recalled, hanging his head in defeat for a second. "Nothing good happens before ten."

"Just try to stay calm and we'll be there when we can," the operator suggested, like it was so simple.

You didn't even reply to that, just scoffed and hung up.

It wasn't like he'd been looking forward to his GED exam, in fact he'd almost been hoping for a way to put it off or get out of it... but this was definitely not what he was imagining. Of all the elevators to get stuck in, this generic government building where he was supposed to have his big test proctored was probably the most boring option.

He glanced over at you, and stopped himself from making a dirty joke: you heard that Aerosmith single, right? Love In An Elevator?

That probably wouldn't have gone over well. He used to say stuff like that when you were both a little younger, but he'd since given up hope of it ever actually... inspiring anything.  You two were probably better off as friends anyways; or, that’s what he told himself to make it sting a little less.

“Looks like we’ll be stuck in here for a while…” he mumbled instead.  “Did they say what the issue is?”

“Some kind of power failure?” you recalled with a shrug.  “It’s gonna take a while to fix, that’s the important thing.  Do you think they’ll call the fire department?”

“Who knows,” Eddie sighed, leaning against the wall as you sank onto the floor and dropped your head back against the wall.  “I guess we should just try to get comfortable.”

Which was easier said than done, but at least he was stuck here with you— you were generally pretty fun to talk to.  Of course, you weren’t exactly in your best mood due to the circumstances…

At 8:32, Eddie checked his watch.  “I’m officially late for my exam,” he noticed.

At 9, you checked your own; “And I’m officially late for work.  We'll see if I even still have a job when we get out of here," you groaned. "I was on pretty thin ice already."

By 9:14, the stuffiness of the elevator was becoming harder to ignore.  Eddie slipped off his jacket and vest in response to the heat, but resisted the urge to take off his Ozzy shirt. You'd seen him shirtless before, of course, but he figured out would be weirder without the right context.

"Fuck, it's hot in here," you whined quietly.

"I guess the power issue affects the A/C, huh," Eddie noticed.

"You think?" you scoffed, reaching up to unbutton the top of your shirt.

For some reason, he kinda liked when you were condescending like that; of course he loved it when you were sweet like usual, but when you got frustrated and sarcastic and looked at him like he was crazy... for whatever reason, it worked for him. And it was definitely working like never before when combined with your hasty efforts to open your shirt.

He expected you to stop after a couple buttons, but you just kept going, exposing more and more of your chest glistening with sweat. His eyes were glued to it, until you got low enough for him to see a glimpse of your bra, and he coughed as he turned his head quickly.

"Woah, hey, uh--" he stammered out awkwardly.

"Oh whatever, you've seen me in a bikini, it's the same thing," you rolled your eyes.

But it's not the same thing, because you were stripping, untucking the button-up from your tight skirt, fanning your flushed skin...

And he was tugging the crotch of his jeans down a bit when you weren't looking, trying to keep his oncoming boner from being too obvious. 

Leaving your shirt open, you sighed and sat down on the floor, splaying your legs out on the ground.  He could see how uncomfortable you were, and it made him press his lips together while he sighed through his nose.  Though he was a little afraid you weren’t in the mood for any friendly behavior as your frustration and stir-craziness increased, he walked across the elevator and sat down next to you.  “I was probably gonna flunk the test,” he decided.

“What?  No you weren’t,” you scoffed.  “You studied so hard!  I’m really proud of you, you know.”

“Just ‘cause we’re stuck in here doesn’t mean you should get all sappy with me—” he started.

“No— ‘cause we’re stuck in here I’m not gonna put up with you trying to be down on yourself,” you decided sternly with a little glare at him.  “You were gonna fucking ace it, I know you were.  You worked your ass off.  I know you wanted to act like you didn’t care, but you actually got your shit together and did it.”

“You… you helped me a lot,” he mumbled sheepishly.

“Please, I hardly did anything— mostly just kept you from getting too distracted,” you denied, blissfully unaware that he actually found you more distracting sometimes, but never minded it.  “Can you stop being a pussy and just admit you’re actually smart, and dedicated, and more than capable of nailing this?”

He blinked quickly and looked down into his lap, feeling his face warm up— not just from the heat.  How could you be so mean and nice at the same time?  

“And now it’s gonna go to waste, ‘cause of this godforsaken elevator,” you sighed, dropping your head back; a pessimistic end to a pep talk, but he couldn’t blame you.

"Think of it this way: it couldn't get any worse!" Eddie offered with a faux-upbeat tone.

Right then, the lights in the elevator flickered and turned off, plunging you both into darkness. "I fucking hate you," you announced after a short silence.

He heard a whirring sound from somewhere else in the shaft, and a dimmer orange lighting came on inside the elevator; some kind of emergency back-up generator thing, probably. It was enough to see decently well, especially as his eyes started to adjust, but still made it feel like you were both in an even more perilous situation.

“I didn’t sleep enough last night,” you admitted, “I might try to catch up on that.  Maybe if I can sleep this will go by faster…”

“I like that plan,” he decided, even though he was pretty sure he wouldn’t be able to do the same.  Eddie had a hard time keeping still and quiet, but he managed to do it so you could get your rest.

He suspected you had fallen asleep when your breathing seemed to slow down a bit— but he knew you had when you limply slumped to the side, your head gently landing on his shoulder.  This happened every once in a while, a sign of how comfortable you were with him. He supposed he should be thankful for it, but sometimes it just made him furious. Because what cruel punishment was this, to have you lay on him like this when he can't put his arm around you and kiss your head and tell you how perfect you are?

The half-boner he’d wound up with earlier when you unbuttoned your shirt had never really gone away, and it noticed your proximity with renewed interest.  Maybe it was just because he was so bored with literally nothing to do but think about you, but his mind kept coming up with all these fucked up ideas based on the eyeful he’d gotten.  

What if you’d taken off your bra as well and let him see the tits he’d been fantasizing about for longer than he cared to admit?  What if this had happened in winter instead and the elevator was brutally cold and you two had to hold your naked bodies together for warmth?  What if that guy on the phone said this thing was airtight and two only had an hour to live and you decided you wanted to go out with a bang, literally?  

He wondered if he’d be brave enough to tell you how he felt about you, if either or both of you only had an hour left.  For better or for worse, this elevator shaft had airflow, so you were more likely to die of boredom than anything.

He shifted slightly, stuck in a somewhat awkward position, but it didn't help much— though thankfully it didn't wake you up, either.  He just wished he could get some relief, somehow.

Obviously, he knew it was a bad idea. But the thing about his dick is it usually talked him into some pretty bad ideas…

He tested the waters with a whisper of your name, but you just kept breathing slowly— you were out cold. Maybe you were even more nervous for him than you'd let on, if you were that underslept.

Reaching up with his free hand, all he had to do was grip himself through his jeans to get some relief; he sighed through his nose, shutting his eyes.

His cock flexed impatiently as he unzipped the jeans as slowly as possible to avoid making too much sound. But god was it worth the wait— as soon as he slipped his hand into his boxers he had to bite his lip, it was so good just to get some attention for his poor, lonely dick.

This was far from the first time Eddie had jerked off to the thought of you. But he was sure he'd never done it while you were this close.

He did it once or twice in your bathroom while you were on the other side of the wall, that was probably the closest he'd come to this before. And that was chump change compared to this-- this was so risky it made his heart race and his hands shake with adrenaline, but it only made him more desperate for whatever reason.

He wouldn't have swiped his thumb through the precum at his slit if he had known how good it would feel— or maybe if he'd known how good it would feel, he would've been able to prepare himself for it. But the anxiety of getting caught had made him even more sensitive, so he hadn't really seen it coming, and when he did it he let out a little moan through his teeth that he couldn't stop.

You stirred again and he froze; when you lifted your head off of his shoulder, he hastily shoved himself back into his jeans, trying to cover up the open fly with the bottom of his shirt.

“Were you… jerking off?” you realized, and he felt sick with fear as his heart raced like never before.

“W-what?” he scoffed incredulously.  “I— are you crazy?”

“Ed,” you warned firmly.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, “I— sorry—”

“Are you that bored?” you mocked with a snort, and he felt even more flushed; it made his cock flex under the mediocre covering of his shirt when you degraded him like that.

“N-no— well, yeah, I just— you put your head on me and I—”

“It was because of me?” you realized, and his mouth fell open.  He hadn’t realized that you hadn’t actually put that together yet; of course he’d ended up just digging himself deeper.

“W-well, uh— I mean, no, no I— well.  Kind of?”

“Kind of, as in…”

“Completely,” he blurted out.

You were quiet for a long time, and he couldn’t see your face well enough to even try to guess what you were thinking.  Although you probably could’ve given him a thousand guesses and he never would’ve guessed what you ended up saying: “You want some help with that?” you offered.

But before he could even answer— not that he really could, he was too busy having a short circuit in his brain— you were reaching for his lap.  And even if his mind was blown, his body knew to just lift his hands up and out of the way and let you do whatever you wanted to him.

You pulled up the bottom of his shirt and sighed a little when you saw his cock, still hard and leaking and curled up against his stomach.  You carefully wrapped your hand around it, and he swallowed thickly, wondering if he was dreaming or something— you were so… soft.

“Like this?” you asked gently, making his hips twitch up into your hand for a second.

“Y-yeah,” he nodded, eyes glued to the way your hand looked wrapped around him.  If only the lights weren’t out, he wanted to see it even better.

He looked at your face, moving your hair a little to make sure he could see you, but from what he could tell your eyes were trained on his lap.

“Fuuuck,” he whispered when you stroked him a bit more confidently.  He wanted to shut his eyes from how good it felt, but he didn’t want to look away from a moment of this in case you, you know, came to your senses and stopped.

“S’really thick,” you said, under your breath, a little bit shyly.  He groaned and ran his hand over your back, trying not to do too much in case it startled you but also totally helpless to how badly he needed you.  “I wonder if I can…”

You trailed off, and before he could decide if he should ask what you were going to say, you 

As soon as you leaned down and put your mouth around him, his back arched and his legs kicked a bit.  “Fuck, baby,” he choked out, melting into the warm feeling of your lips, your tongue— god, he couldn’t believe you were doing this to him.  He actually had to fight the urge to tell you so, to admit how much he’d imagined this; he settled for whining out your name and running a hand over your hair encouragingly.  “S’fucking warm, oh my god—”

You hummed around him, sucking a bit harder, swirling your tongue around the tip; who the fuck taught you that?  It made his chest burn with some targetless jealousy even while it made his cock flex proudly. 

Your hand still gripping the base, you took him a little bit deeper, moaning a little bit once again while you did it.  No way you actually enjoyed this, right?

You pulled your head up a bit— he took his hand away quickly, not trying to hold you down or anything— and just when he wondered if you might stop, you dropped down lower so you could run your tongue up from the very bottom all the way to his leaking slit—

“Jesus,” he laughed thinly, “what are you doing to me, baby?”

“Whatever I wanna do,” you replied— if he was a little braver, he would’ve asked what made you want this, how long you wanted this— but he was more than content to let you do whatever you wanted, so far you had some pretty fucking good ideas.

Your head sank even a little bit lower, and he pushed his jeans down just a bit in case they were getting in your way.  Boy, was he glad he did.  “Fuck,” he gasped, watching in shock as you looked up at him while your tongue ran over his balls.  “Sorry, they’re, uh, kinda sweaty…”

“Even better,” you purred; what the fuck were you doing acting so dirty like that?

“Baby,” he laughed thinly, “is this some kind of claustrophobia-induced psychosis or something?  Who are you and what have you done with my prude best friend?”

“Prude?  That’s unfair,” you laughed.  “Just ‘cause I don’t advertise every dirty thought that goes through my mind doesn’t mean I’m not as much of a freak as you…”

“Freak is an understatement,” he sighed, struggling to keep his voice even when he was literally watching you lick all over his balls like this.  “You’re a proper fucking slut.”

You hummed proudly, eyes getting a little heavier— when you looked up at him like that, he was totally helpless.  “It’s slutty to wanna taste your best friend’s balls?”

“F-fuck, of course it is,” he whined, cock flexing in your hand again when you licked a stripe up between then.

“Well then yeah, guess I’m a slut,” you agreed. 

“G-god, I— I’m gonna—” he tried to warn you, but it happened so fast— it happened the second you started to gently suck on his balls, in fact.  What was he supposed to do when you did that?!  How could he not shoot cum all over his now-definitely-ruined shirt?

“Oh shit,” you giggled— his cock was still flexing and you were already mocking him.

“What— what the fuck,” he began, trying to catch his breath, “made you wanna do that?”

But you were already straddling his lap, pulling up your skirt to your waist.

“F-fuck, baby, I— are you seriously—?”

He cut himself off and whimpered when he got a good look at your panties, the cute lacy kind— and pretty fucking soaked already.

“I-I don’t have a condom,” he warned you, cursing himself inside for finally throwing out the one in his wallet thinking he would never end up needing it.

“Don’t care,” you sighed, pulling your panties aside and guiding his tip right up to your entrance.

“Fuck, that’s—”

He was gonna say it was insanely hot, but you hardly noticed; you were already sliding down onto him, taking him in one motion right to the base.

“Oh fuck!” he nearly shouted, gripping hard onto your thighs.  “F-fuck, you’re so tight, fuck…”

You started moving right away, grinding on top of him for a second before lifting your hips and bouncing up and down.  “Fuck,” you sighed, “so deep…”

Was it wrong that he loved the way you were basically just using him?  You hadn’t even let him finish his sentence, you didn’t ask if he could handle it right after coming— you just started riding him, and far be it from him to complain about that.

“Take this off,” he pleaded, tugging at your unbuttoned shirt and trying to push it off your shoulders.

You helped him get it off, and before you’d even tossed it off to the side he was reaching behind you to unclasp your bra.  The gods of bra clasps smiled down upon him that day, because he was sure he’d never gotten one open so quickly, and if there was any time he really needed it, it was now.

“Fuck,” he groaned when he got a good look at them— not good enough in this dim orange lighting, but it would do— and instantly got a hold of your chest.  You didn’t seem to mind the clammy hands, considering the way you whimpered a little and clenched inside around him.  “God, baby, your tits…”

As much as he’d been waiting ages for a chance to see you naked, he couldn’t deny you looked way too good with the skirt, stockings, and heels still on.  He could already tell this was going to give him a complex.

He ran a hand up your leg as you moved just to feel the silky nylon; god, he hoped you didn’t get fired for the unexplained extreme lateness, if not just for your sake then so that you would keep dressing like this every day.  “So pretty,” he sighed, wondering if you could see in the dark how totally in awe he was of you.

“Oh my god,” you gasped, in that way he’d always imagined you would in a time like this.  Your head fell back and he couldn’t help but reach up and grab your neck��� not applying much pressure, just holding you there, just admiring how goddamn perfect his hand looked wrapped around you.  

“You’re so fucking sexy,” Eddie sighed, “fuck, look at you go.”

You smiled a little, he could see it even with your head tilted back like that, and it was just amazing seeing you so… free?  So relaxed and totally shameless, giving in to your pleasure.  But it wasn’t enough: he wanted to see you lose all your composure, he wanted to hear you scream his name, he wanted to make you shake and cry and beg— that was why he grabbed a tight hold of your hips and pulled you down onto him, bucking his hips up to meet you halfway.  It forced his cock even deeper and you yelped a little.

“Not too big for you, is it?” he taunted.

“No, fuck, s’perfect,” you moaned, your voice deep and rough and so fucking beautiful like this.  “Fuckin’ perfect, Ed, o-oh god—”

“Keep saying my name,” he ordered.

“Eddie,” you said, again, but this time all needy and cute; it just made him fuck you harder, biting down on his lip to muffle some of his own noises— he just wanted to hear you.  He pulled you down and hugged you close, keeping you still so he could fuck up into you exactly how he wanted; you moaned right by his ear, fuck it was too precious.  

“I’m already close again,” he admitted with a thin laugh.  “Fuck, look what you do to me.”

You whined louder, clenching on his cock— he seriously did not know how much more of this he could take.

“Wanted you so bad,” he blurted out, unable to stop himself, “wanted this for so long.  Wanted to fuck you— I wanna make you come, fuck, please, please come.”

He felt you nod against his shoulder as you gasped, and he shut his eyes tight, just focusing on his movements and trying his best not to speed up too much just to chase his own high.  He needed you to come more than he needed his own pleasure, even if everything in his body was screaming for a chance to come inside you. “So close,” you panted, “fuck, Eddie, don’t stop— please don’t stop— yes!”

The lights turning back on suddenly startled you both, making him freeze and look around (and squint a little from the brightness), but that was nothing compared to the shock of the doors opening.  Behind them was mostly just concrete, the space between floors, but up top was about two feet of the eighth level, where a crew of firefighters could be seen peering in.

“Are they alright?” someone from the building asked as Eddie scrambled to grab his jacket from the corner and cover you up with it.

“Yeah, looks like they’re doing just fine,” one of the men announced as they broke out in surprised laughter.

[kakashixhatakesxwhore]

Thank You

Pairing: Uchiha Itachi x f!Reader

Summary: Going blind and coughing up blood, Itachi had to seek some kind of medical aid, if only to prolong the inevitable. It helped that some random farming village's secondary clinician was so understanding and willing to provide that aid - but now, after a year of visits and spinning a Parnassian lie, he's started to care for the clincian, against his better judgement.

W/c: 2.7k

Warnings: meh, fluff, just Itachi going blind and trying to be nice (also him negating to tell our girl that he isn't just some wayward poet)

Notes: totally totally totally inspired by this post by @weeny-mcbitch !! also, was supposed to be a drabble that I stayed up all night to write instead, so lmk if y'all want a part 2, im teeming with ideas rn (also, im working on my requests, i swear to god, this is kinda like a warm up for one of then - whoever sent in that itachi and shisui one ily youre a genius) anyway lmk if this sucks

Masterlist💿

He was such a kind man, there wasn't a thing in the world you wouldn't have done for him, for free. Just his thanks and the small, reluctant smiles he would give you were payment enough.

"I don't want your money, Itachi," you giggled as you reshelved an assortment of herbs. "When have I ever made you pay for my silly, little pills?"

"They're not silly, and you should."

Looking over to him and his holey cloak, you just asked with a grin, "When are you going to let me fix up that ratty cloak of yours, anyway?"

"I'm practically stealing from you as is," he grimaced, holding up the bottle of pills you had just pressed.

Itachi stared at the exam room wall in front of him with wide, unmoving eyes for a moment longer before letting them trail to you. Smiling at him softly, you returned a jar of Goldenseal essence to your wall. His stare made you nervous - it was as if he were looking straight through you, despite an effort. You shelved the final jar and put your hands up, one in front of the other, aimed at Itachi.

"What are you doing?"

"How many fingers am I holding up with the hand closer to you?"

"Why are you doing this?" He asked with a sigh, looking back to the wooden wall in front of him. Dropping your hands, you moved to sit beside Itachi on the bench of your family's exam room.

Your father was your village's clinician, trained by his father and his father before him. He had been training you thusly to carry on the title, which allowed you the facility to care for the wandering ninja before you, whenever he came along. It wasn't terribly often that Itachi would visit, but you always made sure to be thorough in your examination when he would.

"Last time you were here, I noticed you were having some issues with your depth perception. This time, your pupils aren't properly dilating with the light," you told him softly. Itachi just turned his head down to look at the floor instead. Sighing, you put your hand on his shoulder, squeezing lightly as you said, "I'm not an optometrist by any stretch, but my cousin is. If you're still here tomorrow afternoon, I can get you an appointment."

"I won't be."

His voice was firm, but had such an feeling of regret attached to it. You frowned, letting his shoulder go. He was an adult, and a wanderer, no less. There wasn't a thing in the world you could do to force Itachi to do anything.

The air in the room had gotten much too thick for your liking. So you smiled, bumping your shoulder against his as you stood again, remarking, "I suppose the life of a travelling poet doesn't allow time for optometry then."

"No, it doesn't..." Itachi trailed off.

You just chuckled lightly, collecting your notes on the wanderer that were strewn across your father's desk. Your desk. The practitioner's desk. A life of poetry and meandering seemed so nice in comparison to your boring life. Though, Itachi never meandered. He never seemed to have the time. You'd think a man of his lifestyle would have all the time in the world.

"Will you ever share one of your poems with me?" You asked, lining your year's worth of papers up before sliding them into your bag.

"What?"

Scared out of your skin, you jumped away from Itachi, who was suddenly standing beside you. He took a step back, extending his arms to you. Itachi's face filled with worry as his cloudy, black eyes jumped around your entire body.

"I'm sorry," he said quickly. "I didn't mean to frighten you, I should have made more noise. I'm so s-"

"It's alright," you murmured, taken by the slight parting of his lips and furrow of his brow. You just stared at his face, heart corralling itself, as a different Itachi stood before you. One you hadn't seen before. Inhaling deeply, you bit down on your lip, murmuring, "As an aside... you smell amazing."

Closing his mouth, Itachi blinked slowly as his expression morphed into that of confusion, then to a slight... well, you didn't know. He just seemed caught off guard, though pleasantly so. Itachi's brow relaxed slightly, and you were blessed with his small smile. The right corner of his mouth lifted just slightly higher as his eyes roamed your face, and Itachi leaned forward unconsciously. You smiled back, collecting the straps of your bag as you maintained your gaze on Itachi.

After a long while, Itachi rubbed the back of his neck, turning his eyes to the ground. "What do I smell like?"

"I dunno," you chuckled, pulling your bag over your shoulder and walking up beside Itachi. You leaned closer to him and took a long breath, deep and thoughtful. Humming, you mumbled, "Like a very foggy forest, I suppose."

"Ugh, that's terribly musky," Itachi complained with a kind of joke in his tone that was foreign to your ear. You smiled as Itachi turned his head to look at you, his minty breath washing over you as he asked hesitantly, "And you... like that?"

"I do, indeed," you confirmed with a nod. "Though, I can smell a distinct lack of mullein on you. Make sure you're steaming those pills properly."

"I do," he replied almost indignantly.

You chuckled as you asked, "With the towel over your head, and all?"

Itachi's nose twitched, nodding, "As embarrassing and time consuming as it is, yes."

"What colours come up after?"

"Black, and blood."

"Are you coughing while over the pot?"

Itachi's face scrunched up at your question. "No, ew, why would I-"

"Don't cough into the pot, take your head out for a second," you laughed, shaking your head. Walking to the exam room door, you flicked off the lights, allowing the moonlight from the window to illuminate the room. "You shouldn't suppress your coughs, that will only make you cough harder when you give in."

You opened the door and turned back to the beautiful, black haired poet. He stood by the desk, nodding silently and softly. Itachi's large eyes reflected the shine of the moon so wonderfully, it was like you could see the individual beams as they touched the different shades of his dark irises. 

Eh, what the Hell. "Care to walk me home, or does the Poet's Life not allow time for that either?"

Elegant as a dancer, Itachi swiveled on his heel and came to you with his small smile returned to his full lips. His cloak swished as he walked toward you, his footsteps no louder than those of the smallest mouse in the largest church. Voice as rich as your grandmother's chocolate cake, Itachi hummed,

"I can make the time, if only for you."

"Oh, stop, now you're just flirting with me," you grinned as the black haired man followed you out of the primary exam room.

"And if I am?"

"Well," you grinned with a blush, locking the door. "Then I would smile, kiss you, and say thank you."

"Then I'm awaiting your kiss."

"You're awfully bold this evening, Itachi," you giggled, hooking your arm into his as you began to walk down the short hallway of exam rooms.

He smiled, looking straight forward as he walked with you, putting his other hand over yours. Just his presence was so calming, but it was like contact with him put your soul in a trance. Nothing bothered your mind, nothing nagged - everything felt peaceful, or at least tentatively so. The two of you swept into the waiting room and you both turned back to lock the door to the hallway.

"Do you have a boyfriend? A husband?"

"Cripes, Itachi, how old do you think I am? A husband?" You exclaimed with a laugh.

"You said you were nineteen a few months ago," Itachi said with a gentle voice. "A young woman like you... you should have a husband... someone to love you."

"Lots of people love me," you replied, mocking his earlier indignance, pulling Itachi through the dark waiting room.

"That's not what I meant," he sighed, pursing his lips. You frowned a bit, recognizing he thought you were upset. Itachi's hand stiffened over yours, as if he was worried you would let go. Drawing a deep breath, he clarified slowly, "I meant... I'm sorry, I just- you're so... it's unbelievable that no one has... you must decline a thousand proposals a day, is what I mean."

"Awfully poetic wording," you remarked jokingly.

Opening the front door of the clinic, you and Itachi squeezed through together while you chewed on your lip. The night air was crisp, wrapping you in a ticklish blanket, which had you you tighten your grip around Itachi's bicep. The muscle rippled beneath your fingers as Itachi pulled you a step closer to him while you locked the final door.

"My dad takes care of that for me," you admitted, drawing him down the steps of your family's clinic and onto the dirt road. "He needs me at the clinic, and in the garden, and at home - one day, he'll decide we need a next generation to continue the clinic, but I've still got a few more years."

Looking over, you remarked the frown that had settled onto Itachi's lips. Still staring ahead, Itachi looked genuinely upset by your words, almost troubled.

"I wish... I'm sorry," he simply said.

"Not your fault, poet," you shrugged, rubbing small circles into his bicep. "I'm content. I've got a job, a small nation's worth of friends, and the attention of the most handsome ninja in the world."

"Who?" Itachi snapped, head swiveling so quickly you could hear a small crunch of cartilidge.

With a chuckle, you shook his arm. "Don't tell me you're losing your sharpness along with your eyesight." Itachi quirked his eyebrow at you, squinting as he did. You snickered, "You, Itachi, are the most handsome ninja- no, human - and you're gorgeous. Drop-dead gorgeous."

"Now you're just flirting with me."

"I am, but I'm also telling the honest truth," you replied, feeling like your heart was going to beat out of your chest at any second.

Looking forward, you could make out the lights of your house in the distance. You turned your head up, hearing the crickets' chirps and the soft breaths Itachi took. The stars above where abundant in the black canvas of the sky, the white and yellow specks flickered in every corner, as far as the eye could see. Right in the center of the sky, directly above the two of you, a big, bright, full moon shone, bathing your little village in silver glow. Everything seemed so perfect, so picturesque - as if the whole world was as calm as you. Perhaps it was, if only while you walked with Itachi.

"Do you know any of the constellations?" Itachi asked you gently, only a few paces from your house.

"Not a one, you?"

"I could draw you a map of the sky, if you wanted me to."

You looked over casually as Itachi raised his eyes to the sky. He began squinting and widening his eyes, pupils stagnant and his eyes dry. Despite the obvious troubles, Itachi raised his hand from yours and pointed. Your eyes followed up his arm, his index finger drawing a strange figure eight in the Northern sky as he mumbled,

"There... do you see a really bright star and a kind of fish shape?"

Matching his squint, you looked where he pointed. Itachi's finger was a ways off the brightest star in that direction, but you assumed that was the star he meant.

"I see the bright one, I think, but the fish is a bit tough."

"Well, the star is called Vega, and the constellation is Lyra," he told you, bringing his hand back to rest atop yours on his bicep. Itachi squeezed your hand to his muscle and he continued, "It's a lyre, like the one Orpheus played."

"Who's Orpheus? And who's the liar?"

"A lyre is a harp of sorts, but Orpheus' is a very long story, sweetheart," Itachi chuckled lowly as the two of you approached your house.

With a shrug, you pulled him to the stairs to your door and sat on the second step, letting go of his arm.

"I've got the time for a story."

Smiling, Itachi sat next to you and began, "Then forget Orpheus for a second while I tell you about Jason."

Over the hours of the night, Itachi divulged the epic legends of Jason and his Argonauts, shifting to Orpheus and Eurydice after. You listened with rapt attention, clinging to every word as he gesticulated wildly. Itachi painted such vivid imagery with his tongue that you had no doubt he was a poet. Of course people would pay to listen to his voice, to be taken into a world of his creation.

As he recited the tales, you asked him questions. Silly, little questions, you thought, but they derailed him greatly, sending him on tangents about different translations and different versions of the same myth.

"He has to turn around."

"But he can't, you just said that was the rule."

"What would you do, if your love refused to look at you?" Itachi asked, eyes locked with yours.

You shrugged and yawned, "I dunno, you're always staring at me."

"Okay, then think," he chuckled. "I'm in front of you, and you can only see the back of my head, as we walk out of Hell."

"Sounds alright."

"We're in Hell though, sweetheart," Itachi reminded you with a smug smile. "The ground is alive, only to trip you - demons are swarming and taunting us - we're surrounded by danger. And I don't look back... I don't check if you're still with me, or if you're alright."

"Oh, I get it, I get it," you hummed with a nod. "But still, we would be fine, as soon as we're safe on Earth."

"Eurydice didn't think so." Itachi tore his eyes away from yours, looking to the sky as it lightened. "In the one version where Orpheus doesn't turn, Eurydice turned back. She returned to Hell, not wanting to live if Orpheus didn't care enough to check on her."

"That's terribly sad, Itachi."

He looked back to you, smiling softly despite your words. "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I don't mean to sadden you."

"I'm not sad." You yawned again, leaning on Itachi's shoulder. "Not sad at all."

"I should let you go in, get some sleep while you still can."

"Next time you come, you should stay with me," you suggested, almost ignoring his attempt to leave. "You could stay for a few days even, get some proper writing in. The village isn't awe-inspiring, but we've got a few nice streams and valleys."

Itachi took a deep breath, then leaned his head against yours gently. The two of you sat on your step, simply breathing together as the sky shifted from a navy blue to a darling lilac. Slowly, the stars that Itachi seemed to know so much about faded into the distance, leaving you only a twinkle in your mind to mark their presence. Birds stirred awake, the hatchlings cheeping desperately for breakfast from their diligent parents. The birds awoke the cicadas, who started their droning early, before the sun even began to rear it's stunning halo over the horizon.

The silence that you and the wandering poet had constructed began to seep away as the farmers began their morning duties. Machinery whirred to life, and farmhands slowly started stumbling from their houses, on their ways to their contracts.

No louder than a whisper, Itachi mumbled, "I need to go."

"Why? A limerick on the tip of your tongue?"

"You could say that," he smiled, lifting his head off of yours slowly. Once you raised your head from his shoulder, Itachi stood and extended his hand to you. You took it gratefully, and Itachi added, "I'll come back soon."

"I hope," you replied honestly, squeezing his hand. Itachi's Obsidian eyes flickered around your face, his pupils dilating wide. You grinned, "I'll work on some eyedrops for you - I can't restore muscle, but I can help qualm the dryness."

"You don't have to do that."

"I want to."

"Okay," Itachi whispered.

Carefully, he brought his free hand to your face, tracing your cheekbone with his thumb as his fingers pressed against your jaw.

When you leaned against him, Itachi let go of your hand, in favour of cupping your face on either side. You rested your palms around his thick, bare, scarred forearms, as the tattered sleeves of his cloak had fallen to his elbows. For a minute, you and Itachi stood in the quiet of the morning as his fingers gently roamed around your face. They brushed down your nose, feeling each dip in your jaw and temples, gently squeezing the flesh of your cheek. Everywhere he touched, a trail of tingling fire was left, making your heart bounce around in your chest. Itachi's small smile grew on his face, deepening from a simple smirk to a full-blown beam.

Blinking a few times, Itachi said, a decibel louder, "You are... very, very pretty, Y/n."

You smiled, leaning forward to the balls of your feet. Lingering for only a second, you pressed a kiss to Itachi's cheek. His face bloomed quite the rosy red, as you said,

"Thank you."

[dreamingcloudie]

Imagine what the first kiss between you and Dottore would be like, especially if it was back in your akademiya days. I'm just imagining Akademiya!Dottore being shy about it, it's his and your first kiss, and you have to initiate it while he's mentally freaking out for once in his life (all flustered in front of you).

You'd tease him about it every chance you could get, bonus if it's when you're having an intimate moment that involves you guys kissing!!!

Omg this one is so cute!! I could imagine Akademiya!Dottore being all blushy blushy. I see him as someone who's not familiar feelings. He's most likely someone who thinks logically but then you came along. And his feelings for you is something that couldn't be explained with logic and he gets so frustrated and confused. I couldn't help myself but to write a little something <3

Can't work on fics rn I have exams to study for. So to make up for that, I hope these little drabbles inspired by y'all's brain rot will do for now :')

You went to where the letter told you to meet up and it led you to a cliff. You pushed some giant leaves out of your sight and the view in front of you had you in awe.

You could see the Akademiya standing tall and proud in the distance. City lights were lit up, illuminating the streets of Sumeru city. And the sky... there were countless of stars up there, staring back down at you.

As you walked closer to the cliff, that's when you saw your best friend—Zandik, pacing back and forth.

What's this? You thought.

This was an unusal behavior from him. You thought he'd be back in his dorms; pulling an all nighter to study. And not here at the cliff.

You picked up your pace and called out to him, "Zandik!"

He perked up at the sound of your voice and he smiled a bit at you, "Ah, good, I was worried you didn't see my letter."

"Well, it was placed right on my desk with big red letters written on the envelope. It would be near impossible to miss it," you said as you held the envelope up. The words "To (Y/n) from Zandik (must read!)" were scrawled onto it, judging by the messy hand writting. If it were for the countless time of you copying his notes, you would've never learnt how to make out what he's written down.

"Soo, what is this "problem" that you needed help solving?"

It was surprising to you that he needed help with something. With how intelligent he was, you thought he would never ask for help at all.

"Oh, right." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper along with a pen, handing it to you.

"Take a look at this. I, uh, couldn't seem to figure out how to solve this..."

You took the paper and the pen and looked at it.

"Solve i,

"9x- 7i < 3 (3x -7u)"

...Huh?

Of all the things you could've think of, you didn't expect it'd be this.

You looked at him with a raised brow. This was just some simple algebra. Something that he definitely didn't need help with. But oh well, you wouldn't turn down the oppertunity to help him.

"Okay, let's see..."

You went to the nearest tree trunk that you could find and used it as a support to write on the paper, began to solve the equation. After a while, you were done and smiled in triumph as you looked at the answer.

"This is way to easy! No need to thank me—" As you were about to give him back the paper, you blinked and looked at the answer again.

"i <3 u"

I... heart you?

You looked at Zandik and he was looking at anything but your eyes. His hands were fidgeting with his clothing. Realizing what was happening, you smirked and leaned closer to him.

"Hmm... why do you look so nervous, Zandik?" You asked in a soft voice, with a hint of playfulness in your words.

"I-I'm not nervous! Ha, you're c-clearly delusional if you think I, uh, look nervous," he spoke.

You leaned back and placed a hand under your chin, "Really? Then why are you shaking?”

“It’s cold out.”

“Uh huh.” You were trying your best to hold your laugh in. He looked so adorable right now… The way his cheeks went from pale to a rosey red. It didn’t help they looked so squishy either. This might be a risky move, but you decided to go for it and test the waters.

Your face got closer to his, as you did that he let out a gasp. His cheeks got even redder if that was even possible, at the close proximity shared between the two of you. Your noses were inches apart and your gaze was solely focusing on him. Once you saw he didn’t pull back and stayed still, you began to lean in even more. He subconsciously copied your movements as well. Just as your lips were about to touch, you pulled away and smirked at how red he looked.

“I believe… you have something you wanted to say to me first?”

His face scrunched up in embarrassment. He looked away and mumbled, “I… you…”

Even if you couldn’t hear him, you still knew what he said. But being the tease that you were, you wanted him to say it again in a clearer voice.

“Hm? I didn’t hear you… Would you look at me and say it again?” You asked, with a coy smile on your face.

He grumbled and took a deep breath, finally meeting his gaze with yours.

“I… I love you.”

You smiled and placed both of your hands on his cheek. They were a lot more softer than you have imagined them to be.

“See? It wasn’t that hard, was it?”

Feeling satisfied, you closed the gap between the two of you. Giving him his long-awaited kiss.

“I love you too, you silly goose.”

[neteyamyawne]

Everyone who's following me and is waiting for the new fics to come, please read below 👇🏼

I've not been posting anything for a while because my midterm exams have started and I have a lot of load to work on, plus i write my fics on my mobile so it's a bit hard to complete on time, i need some time to get back on track, i swear these exams would kill me some day

The good news is that I'm getting a new laptop this week and will be completing all the pending fics I have and lots of other stuff I have in plan, I'm pleased to inform you I'll be free after two weeks so y'all be READY.

Thank you for all the patience and kindness you all have shown me through the reblogs, comments and likes, it's a big thing that i could reach something like this in a short amount of time, I'll soon be reaching 500 followers and that's the most amazing thing for a while for me.

All the pending fics like : titsyul, inferno : ember, all the followers specials will be posted after i get my laptop, that is after two weeks.

My taglist and requests are still open and will be taking requests, they are permanently open so feel free to request but only after reading my rules.

Tagging because this is important :

@fanboyluvr, @callmeoncette, @lu-the-ghost-reader, @brisbriskett, @saltedcoffeescotch, @ducks118, @itscheybaby, @jackiehollanderr, @elriel-4-ever, @zoetrope1997, @yeosxxx, @persefolli, @im-in-a-pansexual-panik, @teyamsbitch, @elijangwifey, @erosthefae, @murderbirbdany, @thearabloak06, @killua2dot0, @ilovechickenwings, @kylobensgirl, @darling-imobsessed, @majathepapaya, @sweetirilly, @reinap06, @neteyamforlife, @thatgirljas13, @totesnothere04, @arminsgfloll, @babyqueen17, @kikookii, @bigbadsofty07, @g-l-1-t-c-h-3-r, @urfavpansexual

Thank you so much for your lovely support,

Your favourite,

Vaishnavi xoxo

[ghnosis]

PhD/writing/interview update 28 March 2024

hi everyone! ^^

to date, 67 queer ghesties have submitted consent forms to be interviewed. holy shit. I had a goal of 100, so we're over halfway, this rules!!!!!

here is some info if you are interested in interviewing or know someone who might be.

I book 10 interviews a month - I have 3 spaces left for July. you have to be 18 to interview.

spaces are first come, first served - when you send me a signed consent form, I send you the link to sign up for an interview time.

interviews are text based, take one hour, and usually take place over tumblr chat, but if tumblr chat is super glitchy for you, I have also done interviews on discord.

the links to the consent form seem to break every now and again. if the link is broken, DM me!

I am going to keep accepting consent forms! the more interviews, the happier I am! I do feel bad that y'all are excited and then I'm like "cool sit on your hands until July" but I am only one person doing her best to juggle a job, hobbies, 4 pets, and a PhD.

other stuff below the cut

my comprehensive exam is in June, after which (gods willing, I pass) I will be writing the actual dissertation/thesis. I don't know how long this will take; my maximum thesis submission date is in 2029, I think, but I'm REALLY hoping to be done before then, this process is the hardest thing I've ever done by far.

I'm pretty curious about the total size of the fandom. does anyone have a guess? or a way of finding out? I'd like the final sample size to be a good slice of the fandom, but I don't know what kind of goal to set for that.

some 17 year olds DM'd me which was very kind and I appreciate their enthusiasm, however please DM me again after your 18th birthday, as I do not have ethics approval to speak to minors about sex fanfic :C

I'm in the midst of edits to a chapter on AO3 monsterfuckers that I'm pretty excited about, I have no idea when that book will be published. I have a chapter on an Undertale-inspired spell in Fictional Practices of Spirituality, Vol 1 and one on late-twentieth century vampires and feminism in The Palgrave Handbook of the Vampire. I have a book review of Heather Petrocelli's dope book Queer for Fear coming out in Revenant Journal, no idea when, and my first published work on Ghost fans will also be in Revenant Journal, no idea when.

if you're interested in my work and don't want to buy a whole-ass book, DM me. ;)

if you made it through all that, here is a photo of my fool dog Beans. she likes French kissing and licking noses.

[strawberryecosystem]

I've learned way too many animal facts after reading Savanaclaw iq and fanfics. I have exams starting tomorrow, why can't I learn my syllabus just as fast :c also I really want to pet hyenas and lions and also get why alot of people would obsess over wolves <333

Anyway, did y'all know that lions eat this specific melon that isn't really sweet but looks like a watermelon for hydration? Also spotted hyenas have different shaped years which are rounded outwards. They're also more closely related to cats but have their own family Hyaenidae which I did not know.

[demetriandelibinaryboyfriends]

@allvalley100

Prompt: Nice

Friendships: Miguel & Eli, Miguel & Demetri, Miguel & Demetri & Sam & Robby

This is a 6-parter--600 words total! Shockingly no prominent ships in this one (aside from some implied Samiguel).

Hey, y'all remember when Miguel admitted to Hawk that he'd cheated on Tory and Hawk immediately answered with "NICE!!!"??? Because I sure do -_____-

Anyways back in S2 Miguel was so CLEARLY not a fan of Hawk's increasingly douchey behavior, but I always got the feeling he swept a lot of it under the rug for the sake of their friendship. But had Tory not started the school fight, I got the impression things were leading up to a confrontation between them where Miguel really chews him out about being a dick to Demetri and being like. Gross and sexist in general. So these are some things I wrote for a "No School Fight" AU where that's exactly what happens!

***

“What’s your problem? Are you really that upset you kissed Sa—”

“What’s your problem?” Miguel is finally awake enough for his temper to flare up. “You congratulated me for cheating on my girlfriend! What’s wrong with you?!”

Hawk scoffs. “You land all the bitches now. You should be proud.”

“I don’t want to ‘land all the bitches.’” Miguel groans, face in his hands. “You know shit like that is the reason Miyagi-Do thinks we’re all douchebags, right?”

“Good! They should be scared of us!”

“Oh, get over yourself, Hawk. The only one taking this karate war seriously is you.”

***

“We can’t sit there!”

Hawk grabs Miguel as he starts toward where Demetri’s eating alone.

Miguel frowns. “Why?”

Hawk’s nostrils flare, like he’s considering a rant.

“Demetri joined the enemy!” is all that comes out.

Miguel rolls his eyes. “You need to stop buying into Sensei Kreese’s every word. You don’t want to get yanked around by him like Sensei Lawrence did.”

“Just because you’ve gone soft—”

“This is ridiculous.” Miguel’s had enough. “You can come or not, but I’m going to sit with our friend.”

“He’s not my—”

Miguel’s halfway across the cafeteria before Hawk can finish.

***

“Hey.”

Demetri starts when Miguel puts his lunch tray down. He turns, worry morphing into pleasant surprise.

“Not with the Cobras?”

“You’re my friend, too.”

Demetri’s expression softens.

“Thanks for returning the medal. Sam told me.”

“No problem. Sorry Hawk’s been an asshole.”

“Is he...”

Demetri glances across the cafeteria.

“Not coming. Too busy sulking about me sitting with a Miyagi-Do.”

“Okay, well, there’s something you should know—”

That’s when Sam and Robby show up. Miguel realizes he’s made a terrible mistake.

“What’s he doing here?” Robby demands.

“Miguel isn’t like the others!” Demetri raises his hands. “He’s nice!”

***

With Sam and Demetri chatting away, off in their own world, Miguel wonders if Hawk’s megadouche rants would be preferable to Robby Keene’s stony silence.

“So.” Miguel can’t stand this any longer. “Do you have Mr. Henderson for Algebra II?”

“Yeah. Seems like a hardass.”

“Had him 3rd period. Dickwad already gave us homework.”

“Hoping I can transfer to precalc.” Robby chuckles awkwardly. “Demetri tutored me a bit this summer. I got an 85% on the pre-exam.”

Miguel’s admittedly impressed. “Nice.”

Strange. After the summer’s drama, this kind of mundanity’s almost comforting.

Still, Miguel wishes his hand was in Sam’s.

***

Miguel hardly expects an SOS text from Robby Keene, but he doesn’t refuse. When he hears Sam and Demetri are in trouble, he comes running.

The Miyagi-Dos were jumped after school—Tory, Hawk, the rest of Cobra Kai. Miguel’s too late to stop the worst of Tory’s attack, but he turns the tide.

Kreese is pissed at him for opposing his teammates. Sensei’s pissed because Kreese is. Miguel will live.

He dumps Tory. He’s always given her the benefit of the doubt, but...

Seeing her looming over Sam, murder in her eyes, Miguel wonders if he was being too nice.

***

“You’ve got nerve, throwing your lot in with them.”

Miguel sighs, more tired than angry. “You’re lucky the Miyagi-Dos didn’t press charges. Sam and Robby wanted to, but Demetri begged them not to. Said you ‘weren’t yourself.’”

Hawk sneers. “And what are you, Demetri’s bitch?”

“He’s worried about you, Hawk. I am, too. You’re being an asshole, and I know that’s not you—”

“Fuck you. Maybe your bleeding-hearted ass is too nice, huh?”

Hawk shoves his way into a crowd, disappearing.

Got our work cut out for us, Miguel texts Demetri.

Keep trying, Demetri immediately responds. He’ll come around.

[andromedaexists]

I've had a lot of friends reach out to me the past couple days and I just don't have the spoons to respond to all of y'all so I'm gonna say what I need to here:

I love you and appreciate you all. Your condolences and well wishes were received and mean a lot to me.

Now, for those who are not in the loop, I would like to take a moment to tell you about why I haven't been around for a hot minute despite really trying my best to be (under the cut, because good lord are there a lot of heavy topics on the table such as pet loss, depression, mental and physical health and the degradation thereof, stress and anxiety and more)

So, just in a brief bullet point recap, since about july of this years I have:

been switched onto a project at work that put increasingly more important responsibilities on my shoulders despite me saying that i never want to be in that position again

been switched back to my normal project in the middle of a hierarchy shift, therefore not knowing who to contact for literally anything (we're still working this out, btw)

started my final semester of college with 4 classes (reading & translating dead language #1, reading & translating dead language #2, novels in dead language #1, and the history of my native tongue that requires reading in the dead ancient form of it)

found myself being forced into monthly outings with my mother (a test in repairing our relationship that is going... okay)

somehow became integral in a discord (not upset, just not sure how i ended up here frfr)

being told on the first day of classes that i am having surgery ASAP on a cyst (we all know my history with cysts here.. it's not pretty)

the absolute atrocity that blue ridge ended up being. that was supposed to be my relax time, my time to unwind from everything else and i still have not recovered my loss of sleep from being up for 40 hours straight because of how horrible that weekend was

had my surgery cancelled because i'm too fat and then being ghosted by the doctor

had my heart absolutely demolished by a guy I thought I could love, only to be reminded that love is a luxury not afforded to people like me

broke up with my primary care physician because my health is degrading so fucking bad that i literally woke up feeling like i broke my wrist just because. and he still won't take me seriously. i can barely walk at this point, let alone stay awake and functioning longer than 4 hours at a time

had my employee review (that actually went well, but i did get my ass chewed out for low production)

had the world fall apart around me as any hope i had for humanity is shattered

release my book 3 days later because it was too late to change the release day by then

bury myself in a depression hole that i'm learning is normal for authors after their book releases

have to move my grandma into assisted living/memory care

have to immediately move myself out of my apartment with a weeks notice because the stress of living next to violent neighbors was finally getting to me (triggered my past with domestic violence) AND they started harassing me

had to undergo a medical procedure because i can't even eat food without my body rebelling

missed a month of classes because of depression

failed 2 latin tests in a row followed by bombing the midterm which was... great of my mental health especially considering i haven't received anything lower than a B or a C on an exam since ever (i was an honor roll/4.0/gifted studies kid)

Failed a History of the English Language exam because i cannot code switch between German, Latin, and English quickly enough (those are the 3 that comprise middle english btw)

a week after moving into my grandma's house I almost burned it down

found out that someone I really respected and looked up to as a friend was a Zionist

and finally: on Saturday I had to put down the cat I have owned for 15 years. She's undoubtedly older than that, but I was her owner for 15 years. She was my first ESA. I was able to tell my prof I wouldn't be in for the SECOND LATIN MIDTERM on monday because of it so now i have to take it tomorrow, but i couldn't get out of the greek exam or work. I asked for one (1) day off work and was told that my cat dying was not sufficient enough reason for the time off without using PTO (that i don't have because I used it on the absolutely horrible weekend that was Blue Ridge)

So yeah. I haven't been around. I've been more around on twitter but that's mostly me just reposting a bunch of posts about Palestine rn and other posts that my friends make. I'm so fucking exhausted and nauseous and just done. I haven't really written anything either because my work up until now has shown both the horrors of humanity and the underlying hope but I do not have that hope anymore and it hurts

Ironically since I've started working on Desecrate I've started wondering if this is my punishment for straying from God all those years ago. I don't think so but not I gotta add re-working through my religious trauma and my Catholic Guilt to my never ending list of things to do.

If you read this whole thing, kudos to you. I appreciate you all and I'm sorry for dumping it but I have not been able to really say anything about what's going on in my life because i just.. idk I don't have the words for it most days. I'm just tired.

[straw-of-the-hat]

Hi! I want to ask several things, hehe.

1. How many words do you write per chapter? It looked long when I read but sometimes it looked short so I have no estimate.

2. In your own opinion, is it better to write your original character in a ["I think I'm going to be sick," I said, ] kind of way or ["I think I'm going to be sick," He says, ] kind of way?

3. If it's alright with you, what are your tips to overcome writer's block?

4. I really want to know how you could write so many chapters in one story and still managed to create new ones and update from time to time, I suck at finishing chapters or not writing a new chapter after a chapter 😭

Sorry for asking so many things but I think it was better than asking separately 😅

God how long has this been in here sorry I'm so inactive y'all. I'll do my best to answer!

Lez go:

1.) The word count tends to vary for me! Over time my chapters have steadily seemed to get longer. I used to write only 2k words a chapter— now I'm very inclined to hit 4k-5k, sometimes even more encroaching upon 6k. I don't think anyone should hold themselves to any limit though. I don't. Just use as many words as it takes to communicate what you want to communicate and have fun with it!

2.) I think you're asking about third person vs first person. I hope you are anyway and if not I do apologize. Honestly? Between the two it's your preference! It's all about what you as a writer want. I used to write only in first person, but I really don't anymore because third person gives me more flexibility in terms of looking at how other characters feel and what they think. You can really bounce around with it and it leaves less constraint! That being said, first person can be super immersive and really dive into a character and make you feel like you're in their shoes.

3.) I find that listening to music and reading really help jog me back into motivation. Taking a break and trying to write something else is always good too. Typically, I don't try to force myself to write anything if I don't feel like it because that's only going to get me more stuck. Take a step back and find things that inspire you. Brainstorm with friends, write some headcanons, make a playlist for your story. Whatever you gotta do to get the cogs turning again!

4.) I'm honestly not sure how to answer this one 😭 It's not really something I plan, I just kinda do it. Thinking of your story as a map may help. Imagine two major plot points. Let's say point A is the entrance exam of a school. Point B is the first day of that school. What needs to happen to get from that point to the other? Build a bridge— they need to take the exam, first of all. They need to get the results of that exam. They need to get their uniform and celebrate. Make a list of things that need to happen and boom, that's your chapter content right there! You'll know you've finished a chapter or chapters when you've checked everything off and arrived at your point B, at which point you brainstorm point C and do the same thing.

I hope some of this helped! I'm 100% not a professional though— this is just what works for me!

[balshamicc]

A little something I wrote for school

Prompt: A reflection on the past year

Disclaimer: This is pure and utter 💜word vomit💜. This hasn't been edited, like, at all. Or thought through. I apologize for any inevitable visual trauma you may experience 💔

When I first think about it, 12th grade feels a bit... anticlimactic? Like, 12 years, over a hundred thousand hours spent going through the primary and secondary education system, and it ends with: (a) Running through the syllabus by October (b) Speedrunning essays for college apps, and (c) 3-hour exams. Five of them.

It doesn't really feel right. Maybe that's indicative of how I should be viewing this entire year. Getting through this whole shebang hasn't ended with spectacular fireworks or some magical revelation that kindergarten me thought I'd get the second I turned 18. I am still as confused about almost everything as I was the first time I heard a 'why does the chicken cross the road' joke, which, in my humble opinion, is the bane of humor.

Maybe, instead of viewing it as the end of an era, it's just a passage from one stage to the next. Cliche, I know, but I mean, all cliches come from commonly experienced truths, don't they?

(or is this just me trying <and failing> to be deep? We'll never know :/)

I thought that now grade 12's over, the era to become an engineer would start, but oop- no ma'am, that didn't happen at all, did it? Throughout my last year of school, it feels like I've spawned and unlocked roads I haven't traveled by, ad nauseam, rather than tied up loose ends. (is this grammatically coherent? no clue)

I think what I'm getting at is this - I've realized that this doesn't mark an end in any way, shape, or form even though that's what I've been building it up to be for myself. Spending literal weeks writing college essays has let me learn a lot about myself, but it isn't a mean to an end.

Every experience I've had so far has reinforced that idea. I thought that I'd have myself figured out by now. Clearly not ahah. But that's okay. Because I've grown, and I don't have any benchmarks to meet for the universe to show me my path forward. The road will, after some pushing, pave itself. And whether I want to travel down that path or find a new one is my prerogative, and mine only.

And would you look at that, I've blabbered again. Did I even address the prompt, who knows? English teachers, feel free to grade me.

I think (???) that's it for now. Because it's about midnight.

Hmu for whatever reason, I might just post again.

thanks y'all - you know who you are. tysm for everything.

[clatterbane]

Heading into evening, we caught a bus into central Malmö to brave the cobblestones around Triangeln.

The main mission objective: to finally get set up with new glasses!

It's been worse to try to wear my existing prescription since that surgery, with a big enough change in that eye that the Now Very Wrong Lens is making me seasick and triggering migraines. So I've mostly just been going around without any.

Neither of us was sure where to go, so I decided to try out Eyes + More this time. They are NOT Specsavers, which is all over the place in Sweden too. Plus, they're offering decent-looking package deals which include the option of progressive lenses for less than we would end up shelling out elsewhere. Because I am old and needing them these days. 🥴

Also, they are offering 4-pair package deals to split between two people. He was also needing new glasses, so may as well try there. We went ahead and booked back-to-back exam appointments.

Other than trying to operate on Language Mode: Difficult in a rather busy optical shop with shitty hearing in the first place, it started off pretty well. I browsed and found several good frame candidates while Mr. C went back for his vision exam.

Then it was my turn. Which also started out fine. Especially after I finally cried uncle and fessed up about my limited Swedish skills. (Which no doubt were becoming rather obvious, even before I opened my mouth for more than a few basic phrases. 🙄)

Went through the whole lens-flipping routine and all--and then complications ensued!

This is my current prescription, y'all.

The astigmatism had stayed about the same, at least. With that aftermarket lens replacement, though? They did indeed make my right eye significantly less nearsighted. As in, no correction required for distance vision at all. (Previously, it was just a little worse than the other one. The sudden change still feels weird as hell, after all these years.)

So yeah, the upshot is that now I am pretty damned nearsighted in one eye, and not at all in the other. Easy enough to fix with new prescription lenses, right?

Hahaha, NOPE. 😵

That degree of difference is evidently optically impossible to correct with glasses, unless you want some gnarly double vision. As the optometrist demonstrated with these babies.

I wondered why she was doing whatever trial lens magic that caused the freaky double vision, and then asking me about it. Then she basically just "yupped!", and explained the situation. 😩

I had kinda already had to wonder about some of the questions she was asking about the surgery, who did it, and whether I was sure they weren't planning to do something on the other side too. But indeed, all was explained soon enough.

She was obviously of the experienced professional opinion that some questionable decisions were made there. Trying to be at least semi-diplomatic about it or not. Seemed pretty horrified, tbqh.

So yeah, no new glasses for me right yet!

The current plan is to do as the optometrist strongly recommended, and Mr. C is going to try to get the eye surgery clinic on the phone ASAP tomorrow.

I am honestly still too worn out and brain fried to have looked into possible options yet. That will have to wait at least until later tonight.

Right offhand, I would rather end up having to pay for LASIK or similar out of pocket than let the same university clinic fuck around any more with my other eye if I can help it at all. That may well end up being my best bet, but we'll have to see.

[ja0-s-blank-canvas-fic]

Part 3 - Chapter 8 - End Of Term Exams: Whip Into Shape

Blank Canvas Part 3

AO3 - here

Fanfiction.net - here

Happy Tues...-record scratch-...er, Wednesday! Yes, Wednesday! Happy Wednesday, dear readers! Apologies for the delayed posting. I recently got another promotion at work and I've got lots to learn for it. This past weekend though was...stressful. To the point that Monday when I usually do most of my editing before a post, I really needed a don't-do-anything-brainy day. And this chapter had more editing needed than usual so I wasn't able to finish it yesterday before work. But here it is now! :D And we should be back to the usual Tuesday update next time if life permits.

Warning for Midnight being well...Midnight. If you're uncomfortable with her brand of banter, read the dialogue with caution after the paragraph starting with [To be in character...]. Though the exposition paragraphs should be alright through the end of the chapter.

Linktree to all the things!    

End notes for the chapter are under the line.  

And that's part 1 of the exams! Most pairings I kept the same for similar reasons as the sports festival. As for who Izuku and Hitoshi would be facing, I was between Midnight and Thirteen for both of them. But looking over the ideas, I decided these were the better pairings and would be more interesting to write. If I had gone with Hitoshi fighting Midnight, I probably would have Sero still fail and then Hitoshi confuse Midnight mimicking and throwing Sero's voice or something. But again, I liked this match up so much more. :)

Side note, I do have a head canon that Sero doesn't have a filter in his mask just because of the shape. But I do know he gets knocked out in canon but Midnight taking his helmet off before taking him out with her quirk.

If you skipped through the fight though, as I said in the warning, Midnight is Midnight and tossing sexual innuendos and banter left and right. But Izuku is having none of that. Sero gets tossed away from danger and Izuku works on distracting her. Lots of dodging and stalling until the right moment. Because I didn't want just one of them to pass through the gate, I wanted them to go together which I hoped you liked. The imagery of Izuku riding through the gate on Sero's back was hilarious to me. I just had to. :P

Also it was finally revealed what Izuku wanted to deny. And yes, y'all were right that this was exactly what Nezu, and myself, had planned for Izuku's little 'assignment'. :P One of those things that is very much obvious but I refuse to confirm until the time came. But now Izuku has a taste of how manipulative Nezu can be even with those he enjoys spending time with. Cheeky rat bastard indeed.

Fun Facts About Japan:

Well, sort of. :P When it comes to taking tests, I actually don't know much. Reason being there wouldn't be anything for the ALT to do at school so they would have us spend test days at the Board of Education instead. But I've seen some when it came to vocabulary tests and such. The kids are very well trained in Japan to keep the test papers down as they pass them back down the rows. Some teachers also have them space their desks apart just for test time. Then when it comes to the tests themselves, the kids are silent. Like hear a pin drop silent. Same goes for when they have assemblies and any other times silence is called. Almost to the point of it being eerie.

Anyway, in the US, when it comes to multiple choice we have the options of A, B, C, and D typically. They do something similar in Japan except it's ア, イ, ウ, エ, and if they need a fifth option オ following the first column in the katakana chart. If an answer is correct, they mark it with a circle because as we've seen in anime maru ( 丸 , まる ) means correct. Some people would even turn it into a spiral and add petals to make flowers if it was 100% correct. For incorrect, sometimes they would use an X for batsu ( 罰 , ばつ ) but what I usually saw was either a slash mark through the wrong answer or even a check mark to let the student know to check the answer. Which is different from the US since we would use a check mark to say it is correct.

Oh and going back to maru and batsu, outside of a test but during the lessons, teachers would use hand gestures for those two. For me, I would use them when giving instructions for a lesson or review game. Things that are okay I would make a circle with my hands. Things that aren't I would cross either my hands or if it was a big no-no I would cross my arms at my wrists or mid fore arm. Which honestly became a habit and I still do it to this day. XD Probably always will same with the Disney point and the head bowing. Damn you, conditioning!

That's all for this chapter! Thanks for your patience. We'll have the rest of the matches next chapter though please know I won't be going into detail with all of them. Just the ones I feel need it. ^___^ Which should still be fun through hero-fanboy Izuku's eyes. Until then stay safe, be well, and continue being awesome!