#But when you go through the worst pain of your life

[luckyladylily]

So there is a lot of bad stuff going on right now, and I'm sure there are lots of people feeling hopeless and thinking of suicide. Well, I've been suicidal for 21 years and I have a few practical pieces of advice for surviving that I rarely see in other places but I think have done more to keep me off the ledge than almost anything.

1. Don't feel guilty for wanting to kill yourself. Life can be extremely painful, and you are not weak, a coward, or irrational for considering the obvious way to alleviate that pain. Guilt on top of the rest of your pain will not help, and you are not a bad person. You are going to have to tell yourself this a lot.

2. If you think you might do it, find an excuse to live. This is different from a reason to live in that it is short term and shallow. For years my excuse was that I still had enough money to buy a pizza and I'd be damned if I didn't get my last pizza before I died, and if i still wanted to kill myself after the pizza then I had lost nothing. I swear this kept me alive through some of the hardest years of my life.

3. If you have an online friend you can trust, ask if they would be willing to do check in duty occasionally on your worst nights. It's very simple, on bad days where hurting yourself is a real possibility, ask your friend if they can send you a message at regular intervals, say 15 or 20 minutes, confirming that you are safe. It can be as simple as "check?", with you responding "I'm ok". Being immediately held accountable makes not doing it so much easier. I asked a friend to help me like this about two weeks ago to deal with a really bad self harm day and the difference between trying to do it on your own and simple check ins is astounding. It hurts so much less.

4. You die with nothing left on the table. This is for when it's over and you are going to kill yourself. You have a plan, you are ready, and you want to. At this point you are effectively dead. Which means there are no consequences. You can finally do the thing that you were always too scared to do. Maybe it's quitting your job, or confessing to your crush. For me it was coming out as trans. This is your last ditch effort, so if it blows up in your face and ruins everything it is no loss because your plan will still work tomorrow. You were already dead anyway, who cares if you left behind a bit more chaos.

[celestiamour]

ft. logan howlett, ororo munroe, laura kinney, wanda wilson, wade wilson, kurt wagner, jean grey, scott summers (separate) x f! reader — xmen, marvel

╰₊✧ how they are when you are on your time of the month┊1k words

contains: some smutty topics for logan & jean, periods and all the complimentary side effects obviously because it’s so generous ahahahahaaaaaaaaa

➤ author's note: oh how i hate being a woman at times, if only some strong mutants could come to life and help ease the suffering…

let’s get this out of the way— yes, logan howlett can smell it and is able to tell when you’re on our period. in fact, he’s even able to sniff out the difference between the blood from menstruation and the blood from injuries. he’s been… “around the block” to put it lightly, he knows what you are going through, will be nice about it, and will use his experience to help care for you. he won’t be as sassy as he usually is even if you are a bit snappy, he’ll get extra food and put aside snacks for you, and he’ll give you as much or as little space as you want. also very willing to eat you out or cuddle-fuck you during it, being a little messy doesn’t faze him and he’s probably done nastier. 8/10, he’ll help you get through it without any complaint.

ororo munroe knows when your cycle is coming before you do, she keeps track of it and is on duty to take care of you the second you wake up with that uncomfortable feeling in your panties. she’s already inside the bathroom attached to your room running a warm bath completely with bath bombs and flower petals, ready to carry you into the water, and to strip your bedsheets for a wash if they get stained. there’s even a cute little wicker basket full of candies and drinks on your bedside with a stuffed animal she brought from target sitting on your bedside. it may seem excessive to some for something that happens every month, but she believes the effort is worth it if it means easing your pains. 10/10, she’s an angel descended from heaven in your eyes.

both of your dads are pretty useless (worst! logan is less knowledgeable than his original counterpart) on the topic and althea gives you a piece of chocolate at most, so you and laura kinney need to take care of each other when shark weeks come around. so many cuddles, kisses, and movie nights while snacking because cravings are a bitch. she’ll pat you on the back and rub your shoulders, muttering little “i know, princess, i know” as you whine. don’t even think of moving if you’re in a position like that, she’ll run around the house to get you pain relievers and a hot water bottle. 9/10, she’s such a wonderful girlfriend.

not sure why, but i feel like you and wanda wilson’s periods would sync a lot? anyhow, it’s a nightmare dealing with mood swings, cramps, and cravings all while taking care of babypool, so there’s a general rule not to take anything seriously during those days because you’re both sensitive and irritable. once it’s all over though, you’re back in each other’s arms and apologizing for anything that might have been said or done (nothing serious happened, it’s just something like “i’m sorry for saying that in an off tone and making you think i was mad at you”). 5/10, could be a lot better but the days afterward are kinda like honeymoon bliss again.

wade wilson is the biggest shit of them all, he definitely says “and that’s on period” every time he finds out, calls you his little ketchup bottle, sends you period cramp moodboards which are just poorly cropped photos of him in the deadpool suit doubled over in pain from a fight— however, he will make you laugh so hard you’ll cry and forget about the ache in your body. 2/10 in terms of helpfulness but 10/10 in terms of funny jokes and conversations. 

you’ll give poor kurt wagner a heart attack every time you whine out in pain and curl up on the couch, clutching onto your stomach and contorting about to find a comfortable position. despite the promises from yourself and everyone else that you will be fine as the aching feeling is temporary, he can’t help but bite his nails from worry. the suffering of people with a uterus will never cease to shock him, they really have to bleed freely like that for a few days every month? he will not leave you alone and is going to treat your every request like an order from royalty. anything you want, you get, and no amount of assurance is going to convince him he doesn’t have to do all that, so you might as well enjoy it while you’re moody and suffering. 

jean grey is one of those people who just don’t have period cramps and still glows despite it all which you are so fucking jealous of. that being said, she’s the best person to be around when it hits. since she’s basically the mansion’s school nurse, she always has snacks, water, pads/tampons of every variety, and pain relievers on hand with so much bounty that she never seems to run out. as your girlfriend, she’s also willing to be a bit sneaky and write you a doctor’s note to get you out of classes regardless of if you are a teacher or a student. she’s also down to fuck even if you’re on your period since she knows orgasms are proven to lessen the pain and she’ll also massage your tits if they are feeling tender (and because she likes your chest no matter the size). 9/10, she can be a bit busy at times but is perfect aside from that.

please hold hands with scott summers and go with him when picking out pads/tampons, he will get overwhelmed by the amount of options and panic buy one of everything. what are wings? liners? what’s the difference between yellow and green, is it lemon or lime? he might forget that you’re more sensitive during these times and slip a comment into a conversation that would make you cry when it usually makes you laugh, but he’ll remind you to stay hydrated, will go out of his way to buy you brownies from your favorite bakery, and will smother you in cuddles. 

[eowynstwin]

I don’t really know what to say. I’m very scared.

I think anyone who has committed to not having children should schedule their tubal ligation/vasectomy ASAP. They came for abortion. They’re coming for IVF. They’re going to come for your ability not to get pregnant next.

One thing I learned last year when I was contemplating ending my life was that escaping despair was not about running away from something—it’s about chasing joy down and bringing it into your life. Feeling better meant giving myself specific things that made me happy to focus on.

So I started eating foods I’d never had but wanted to try. I got back into doing my nails. I bought myself easy crafts to do because I wanted to learn how to sew and crochet and embroider. None of that solved the real problems that were causing my despair, and I had to do things that addressed those problems directly. I’m not saying little hobbies and retail therapy will save this country.

Sometimes despair is the thing that chases you down instead. It is for all of us right now. And I don’t think I have anything in me to say that can give anyone hope for a future that looks pretty bleak. All I know is I’ve lived in despair before and it’s the first thing that will kill you, if you let it.

What I am saying is that when you have a problem you can’t solve right away, you medicate the symptoms so at least you can live in some comfort. If you’re too tired or too hopeless or in too much pain to feel like life is worth living, you won’t live, and you won’t see any reason to.

I’m going to do what I can to make my life happy for the next four years. I’m resolving to get back into painting and drawing. Sometimes the little things you give yourself to look forward to are what carry you through the worst parts of living.

I’m not gonna say everything is going to be okay, because for a lot of people it simply isn’t. I’m very sorry.

I guess what I want to say is there are still little good things ahead. There’s a really good piece of fruit you’re gonna eat in the future. Yarn might go on sale at the craft store so you can make a sweater if you want. For now the trees are still green. Chase joy with me.

[bidisasterevankinard]

"Soulmate 3s au where Tommy accidentally tells Buck about Daniel"

I'm *sat* and listening

ok so here's a little pasrt of the main scene of the fic

“Hmmm, I’d said a broken shoulder for Tommy around two years ago. It felt so bad I cried for hours and it wasn’t even my pain,” Evan says, frowing his pretty face.

Tommy nodded remembering how bad it felt. He was hiking with a friend, till he saw a kid and danger and rushed to help. He did of course, but managed to fall from the three, breaking his shoulder. 

“I’d really wish to be here for him,” the smile that Evan sends him makes Tommy swallow so many words he wants to screen from roofroped but he’s not sure Evan is still ready for it. He’ll ask. Soon. For now just having Evan in his life is enough.

“And now the most interesting part of our program today, let me bet, it was the truck that literally was on your boy’s leg,” Howie winks and Maddie nudges his shoulder when Evan throws a napkin at him saying “too soon man”.

“Nuh, first you said the worst  pain when we weren't around. I was there helping to save him and all the rehabilitation,” Tommy says and everyone nods. He knows it's the perfect opening and he goes for it. Because he needs to be absolutely sure Evan is fine after what happened to him when he was 6 months old. And he just needs to know what exactly it was. He can’t live without knowing anymore.

“But it’s definitely his worst pain since he was 6. But no, I’d wish I was there for him when he was 6 months old and going through the worst pain that any baby should never feel. Can I know what it was by the way? Were you sick and needed some kind of treatment?” he looks at Evan who looks shocked at him. Everything is silent while Evan tries to find his words.

“To-Tommy, what yo-you talking about?”

“About the awful pain in your leg for a long time and aches for days after. I was 7 but still remember how I was crying in my nonna’s hands for hours.” Tommy says not seeing any recognition on Evan’s face.

“I was in the hospital when I was a baby just for check ups and vaccinations. Tell him Maddie” Evan turns to Maddie who looks like she sees the ghosts. “Maddie?” Evan’s voice changes to suspicious and his eyes go red. “ Do-do you know anything about this?”

Maddie puts her glass that she was holding not moving, turning to look at evan with her lip bitten and Tommy already knows he should have never asked. Because the truth seems too big to know. But at the same time? He is happy he asked. Evan deserves to know.

“You were in a hospital for your checkups and vaccinations, but not only,” Maddie swallows with tears in her eyes. “You were a healthy baby, but,” he voice cracks, and next thing she whispers if not the silence in the loft no one could have heard it, “Daniel wasn’t. He was our brother, Evan. He … he had leukemia. We-we basically lived in the hospital.”

[lewmagoo]

I saw you were writing blurbs! I was wondering if you can write one for Bob Floyd from the smut list? Number 4, maybe Bob is injured but desperately needs his partner?

slow sex while one or both are injured (bonus points if it’s after a battle or after they’ve patched up each other’s wounds)

he was fine. really, he was. just a little bruised, and very sore. he and phoenix had a close call during training that day, and it had forced them to eject from a jet that was hurdling at breakneck speed toward the earth. bob felt as if he’d been thrown down multiple flights of stairs. he ached in places he didn’t even know he could ache. but that wasn’t even the worst of it. no, the worst part was the look on your face when you’d come rushing into his room. you looked so frightened, and he hated that he was the cause of that fear and worry.

when you got the call that he’d been injured, your world tilted on its axis. thankfully your boss had allowed you to leave work early so you could be with your husband. you weren’t even aware of his condition. all you knew was that there’d been an accident, and that he was in the med bay, and no other details were able to be provided at that time. you were going in blind, unsure of what you were about to walk in on. would he be unresponsive? barely hanging on to life? these thoughts spiraled in your mind as you rushed down the hall toward the room they’d put him in. the only thing that gave you some sense of ease was the fact that he was in a recovery room, and not a care unit.

when you burst into the room, you found him sitting on the edge of the bed. he was obviously shaken, and there were some visible cuts and bruises, but he was in one piece, and he was alive. your knees almost buckled, but you pushed yourself forward until you reached him. “oh, bobby,” you whimpered. his eyes filled with tears, and you were quick to sit beside him and carefully wrap your arms around him, wary of doing anything that might cause him pain. “i was so scared. i didn’t know if you were okay or not.”

“i’m fine, sweetheart. just a little banged up.” he leaned over to kiss your head, despite the pain that flashed through his ribs. “one of the engines malfunctioned. we had to eject,” he explained.

“how’s nat?” you inquired, hoping she was fine.

“she’s okay. kind of beating herself up over it, even though it wasn’t her fault. she got us both safely out of the jet, that’s what matters.”

relief settled in your chest at the confirmation that your husband’s pilot was safe. you made a mental note to thank her for keeping your bobby out of harm’s way. “what are they saying as far as when you can be released?”

“it’s up to me. either i can stay for observation or i can sign some papers and get released tonight. i think i’m gonna do that. i’d rather spend the night in our bed than in this stuffy old hospital,” came his response.

that was how you found yourselves heading home a few hours later, bobby in the passenger seat as you drove. you held his hand the entire ride home, unwilling to let go. no words were spoken into the silence of the car. nothing could come close to expressing the way you felt. how terrified you’d been that you had lost him. thank god you hadn’t, but what if still lingered in your mind.

it lingered in his, too. long after you pulled into the driveway and guided him into the house. long after you helped him get ready for bed. long after you got him settled beneath the covers. he kept replaying the incident in his mind. the terror, the adrenaline, the realization that this moment could be his last.

“i was thinking of you,” he whispered. so quiet you couldn’t hear him.

“what was that?” you softly asked as you slid into bed beside him.

his mouth quivered. “i was thinking of you, when i was hurdling toward the ground. i thought…i thought for sure i was going to die. that i was never going to see your face again. hear your voice.” he squeezed his eyes shut, although his tears began to slide down his cheeks. “i-i’m glad it didn’t end that way. i’m glad i get another chance to tell you how much i love you.”

your own tears had begun to fall, and a soft sob escaped your throat. gingerly, you kissed him. tears mixing. mouths absorbing the sounds of each other’s weeping. although you were both reeling from this experience, there was an underlying tone of desperation. it manifested in you carefully climbing into his lap, straddling his hips. in your hands resting upon the sides of his neck, and his upon your hips. and when you parted, you could see it in his eyes. an unspoken need. something so strong and impassioned he could not voice it with mere words.

“please, honey, i…” he couldn’t speak. could barely breathe. suddenly it felt as if his skin was on fire.

“i know,” you breathed against his mouth. “are…are you sure? i don’t want to hurt you.”

“i’m sure.” trembling voice. barely able to breathe.

once again, you kissed him. you were frantic, yet gentle, as you rid yourself of your pajamas, and guided his soft sweatpants down his legs. lips finding his again, you reached down to wrap your hand around his soft cock, stroking him to full hardness as your other hand came down to prepare yourself to take him. it wasn’t long before you were aligning him with you, and he looked down to watch you sink down onto him. a guttural whimper escaped his throat, and his chest heaved as he let out a sob.

“oh! oh, sweetheart,” he sighed as you sank down fully, body flush with his. he wrapped his arms around your body, and you wrapped yours around his shoulders, holding him close, his head against your chest.

“i’ve got you,” came your whisper of reassurance. you held each other, bodies joined as one. tears streaming down your cheeks. mouths open and hot against each other’s. crying and moaning, breathing words of love and adoration. words of devotion.

“never let me go,” he pleaded. he wished you could hold him forever. that he could stay here in your arms, protected from the rest of the world, basking in the warmth of your love.

“never,” you sighed, hips rolling against his, trying your best not to hurt him. but you weren’t hurting him. far from it. you made him feel more alive than he’d felt all day.

“i love you,” he confessed into the air. “i need you. i never want to live without you.”

fingers laced through his hair, you let your forehead rest against his. “i love you too. never wanna live without you, either.”

the gravity of the situation weighed heavy on you both, but you took solace in this intimate connection. and if only for a little while, right here, connected to each other, you found peace. your bobby was safe in your arms. and you were thanking the stars that they’d seen fit to let him come back home to you.

[silkenedstars]

we’re so back!! can we get a yandere sinclair x reader,,, it can be any identity i love all of him

Additional Notes: Yes you can!! This is unedited though so there's going to be a lot of mistakes in this. Sorry for that :(

TW// Blood, limb loss, yandere (this is all that comes to mind rn, lmk if there's anything else I should add)

The loss of your arm had surprising results, the main one being that you no longer had the fanatical haze of nagel und hammer clouding your mind.

There was nothing good out of the pain you felt despite what you've been told by your superiors. You supposed you should be thankful nonetheless, as that very pain was what snapped you back into reality. Though, it was still a terrible experience and you wouldn't wish anything like that on your worst enemy.

Another fortune thing about losing your arm — Wings, that statement by itself was painfully ironic — had to be that no one saw what happened. It was your non-dominant hand too so you were extra lucky. Whatever the Index blindly followed must've been smiling down upon you since you were able to pretend like you didn't lose your arm in the first place. All you had to do was grab the part of your armour that fell off, shake it a little so your severed arm would fall out of it too, then reattach the armour back to your torso and voila! It's as if nothing happened!

...But how would you explain one of your arms not moving? Someone would undeniably notice — The One Who Grips, for sure — and demand for you to take your armour off, revealing that you lost it.

Now that wasn't too bad, people who had their limbs severed were praised by everyone about how human they were and if that was all you had to go through, you definitely wouldn't care.

But you wanted your arm back.

You really really wanted your arm back. Without it, you felt like you were missing a part of yourself— and you were, but it wasn't just a physical feeling. Your joint your arm was attached to ached, your mind was begging for you to flex the muscles of your severed limb, and looking at that very limb sparked only fear and pain within your veins. You didn't feel a connection with it anymore.

And between the constant aching and the severe pain you went through when you lost your arm? The aching was far worse. The pain would go away sooner or later, but the aching would forever follow you as there wasn't a way for you to stop it.

That only meant one thing: you were going to get a prosthetic arm. The quality didn't matter, you just wanted your arm back.

With a sigh, you did what you planned to. The only thing left to do now was to find where you'd get a prosthetic replacement while—

"There you are."

A scream almost escaped your lips as you hastily turned around and kicked off your severed arm behind you.

You cursed inwardly when you saw who was behind you.

"Y- You! It's an honour to m- meet you out here!" you clumsily greeted him. The way he was just staring at you with that angry scowl on his face was nothing short of terrifying.

You didn't think he'd kill you, of course not. But if he ever caught onto what happened to you...

...you couldn't let him find out. Ever.

"...you weren't there during attendance," he took a step, his voice surprisingly soft, "I was worried."

And you're worried for your life right now so that evens outs. That said, why was he even talking to you? Aside from exchanging a few words here and there, you never interacted with him.

"Why? You think a few heretics would be able to take me down?" you teased, forcing a grin upon your lips. "I'm not that weak, you know?"

A small sigh left him. "Still…"

"I'm fine," you insisted, "Look at me. Do I look injured to you?"

Sinclair looked you up and down in response, his eyes settling on your non-existent — or, in his eyes, motionless — arm, just as you feared. Maybe you should've responded with something else instead of making it a point that you were unharmed and uninjured. Wings, why were you so dumb?

Oh, wait, maybe you weren't so screwed after all? He hasn't mentioned your arm so far—

"Your arm isn't moving."

...you jinxed it, of course you jinxed it.

Sinclair took a step towards you, then another until he was right in front of you. He took your empty armour in his hand, his fingers uncharacteristically gently rubbing against the metallic back of it. It was as if he was afraid of injuring you further.

"You're injured," he spoke softly, yet his voice slowly grew into a low growl, "those bastards injured you."

"You have it wrong, I'm not injured!" you insisted again, "It's just that my arm is aching because of how much I had to move my heavy weapon around.

"Then move it right now."

You sucked in a breath, feeling both annoyed and anxious. This better work. "Why should I? Your hand feels nice."

Sinclair froze.

"...H- Huh?!"

His face burst into a violent crimson and he quickly let go of your armour. You only caught sight of his flustered expression for a single second before he looked away and hid his face from you.

You let out a sigh of relief before forcing yourself to grin and poke at his cheek. "What's wrong? Why did you let go of my hand? Yours was so nice, you know~ You meanie.."

You felt his cheek warm up further under your touch before he swatted your finger away.

"Stop that," he demanded with a voice akin to a whine. "Don't act like her."

Was that... a pout?

Well, whether it was one or not didn't matter. What really mattered would be his answers to your questions. "Why did you come here anyway? You could've sent a hammer or two if you were worried about me running away, or a Großhammer to check up on me if you were that worried."

"I..." His expression shifted to the scowl that normally resided on his face, his tone an almost concerned one. "...It would simply get in the way of her plans if you ran off and snitched to those heretics."

Asids from the fact that no one would be able to do anything even if you snitched, something felt off about the explanation he told you. But at the same time, it made sense to personally make sure you didn't do anything stupid. He was the lapdog of that unhinged woman, after all.

"I'd do nothing of that sort," you huffed. "Why would you ever think that someone in our ranks would want to betray here?"

All you wanted to do was get a replacement arm to stop the ghost pains then run off somewhere nagel und hammer wouldn't ever be able to find you at.

"I see..."

You swore you saw him let out a sigh of relief.

"Then, come back with me."

No fucking way.

"I can't," you hastily replied, "not now."

His eyebrows furrowed, the look on his face between irritation and confusion. "Why not."

Yikes! That tone of his definitely meant trouble. You should've rejected him gently earlier.

"Becauseee.. I... uhh.. need to make sure that the heretics here are actually dead and not just pretending they are dead," you tried to explain yourself. "It's hard to tell whether these things are alive or not when they don't feel any pain in the first place, right? They only pretend they feel pain!"

He frowned. "I can do that for you."

"No no no I'll do it myself!" you hastily rejected him, "You should head back anyway! Don't you usually spend time with—"

"Don't bring her up."

You flinched.

"...I'm staying to make sure you don't run off," he said, his voice much more gentle this time, "So don't bring her up again. She knows what I'm doing anyway."

Oh, you were so dead.

"...Alright," you reluctantly gave in. "Come with me then."

"Good."

Despite the scowl still on his face, he looked so pleased with himself as he walked past you.

With a sigh, you followed behind him. How were you going to replace your arm now? You could steal a prosthetic from one of those "heretics", sure, but with Sinclair here...

Well, it wasn't like he knew you lost your arm, so you could probably steal a prosthetic when he looked away.

Yeah... that sounded like a plan. You just hoped that it wouldn't go wrong.

— — — — —

"...They're all dead in this part of the town, too," Sinclair declared. "That leaves only one area."

"D- Does it...?" You had been so distracted on making sure he didn't find out about your plan that you forgot to do the steps in your plan. "Can I take a small break around here? My arm is tired from swinging this hammer around so much.."

"Alright," he nodded, "we'll—"

"No no just me!" you interrupted him, "I don't think you need a break too, do you?"

"Why?" he frowned, but strangely enough, it looked more like a pout.

A pout, huh? His flushed cheeks from a prior moment came to mind. What if...

"Because you're strong, aren't you?" you answered, "You could single-handedly kill an entire town of heretics on your own and you wouldn't even be tired, that's how strong you are!"

"...That's right, but I need to watch over you," Sinclair replied, his cheeks a tint of pink.

"Orr you can watch the area around me instead!" You clasped your hands together and looked at him with the best pleading face you could manage, as well as preparing the most cutesy voice you could. "Please? I need someone really strong like you to make sure the area surrounding me is safe! What if one of the heretics that pretended to be dead earlier has been stalking me this entire time and strikes me down while I'm resting? Please! You're the only person I know who'd be strong enough to kill a potential stalker before they get to me..!"

Word by word, his cheeks took on a pinker shade before he looked away, flustered. "Alright, fine."

Why was that so easy??

"But you better stay here, where I can find you," he quickly added, much to your dismay.

"I'll stay here!" You weren't going to. "Thank you! You're my hero!!"

You managed to catch sight of his face turning red before he quickly turned away and walked off to survey the surrounding areas. And once he was far enough away, you quickly made your way into one of the houses and went inside. While you doubted if you'd be able to return with a new arm in time, you were sure you'd be able to distract him from your disappearance if any of his flustered reactions were anything to go by.

The house itself was mostly empty, the blood and gore within it having mostly dried off by now. The presence of the blood itself brought an unpleasant feeling to you, however.

That could be your blood dried on walls in the future.

You kept looking around the house. It was one that you and Sinclair already went through. At first you were worried because he'd recklessly slam down the axe on any corpse he found before you could even get a look at them, but one corpse was lucky enough to have Sinclair's axe go straight for its neck and have the rest of its body remain intact.

A corpse that had the prosthetic arm that you needed.

Hastily, you made your way through the rooms, internally cursing the architect who designed the layout so confusingly before you eventually found the body you were looking for.

"Oh finally..." you breathed out in relief. "I swear I can't even breathe without him watching me..."

But now that you could breathe without him watching, it was time for you to finally, finally get a new arm.

With a bit of struggle but as quickly as you could, you tore off the armour piece where your arm should've been and kneeled by the corpse.

With all the strength you could muster in your tired arm, you brought down your hammer onto the shoulder of the corpse, freeing the prosthetic arm you needed.

The ends of the metal alloy cracked due to the force but thankfully there wasn't enough damage on the prosthetic to cause you any problems. At least, nothing too serious on the surface.

You grabbed the prosthetic arm and looked over it, sighting. "I didn't even think I'd have to figure out how to attach this thing to myself..."

"What. Are. You. Doing."

You froze.

"S- Sinclair! I—"

He stormed towards you, grabbed your hand and squeezed.

"I- I can—"

"You lied to me," he mourned, "You said you weren't injured."

His eyes strayed towards the prosthetic arm that was in your hold, then at the corpse beneath your feet. "Was it the one that hurt you?" His glare harshened. "The one that ripped off your arm?"

...Huh?

You thought he'd lash out at you for sure, that he'd bludgeon you with his axe.

Was this a way out for you?

"...Yeah.." you nodded, your body shivering from the fate you barely avoided. "I couldn't forget it's face when it took my arm, and the pain wouldn't stop. I had to get revenge somehow, but just killing it wasn't enough. Then you showed up..."

The phantom of your arm wouldn't stop aching.

You wanted to go home.

"I see..."

Wordlessly, he raised his axe above his head.

You let the prosthetic arm go and looked away.

A terrible sound echoed in the room.

Then another.

And then another.

The sound of metal smashing against metal repeated relentlessly until slowly, little by little, the only thing you could hear was the axe hitting the ground.

Then it stopped.

You looked up.

"Sinclair...?"

His chest heaved; out of breath.

He looked at you and smiled much like The One Who Grips.

"Let's go back."

[fuckyeah-dragrace]

HEY IF YOU WANNA READ ME BEING AN ABSOLUTE NERD AND OVER ANALYZE SOME MARVEL LESBIANS YOH SHOULD READ MORE

no but what no one’s talking abt (to my knowledge) is the difference in how agatha and rio view nicky and it makes their pain so so sooooo much more tragic

In Agatha’s mind, SHE made him. just herself and her alone which is why we get the lines of “I spoke no spell, no incantation, I made you from scratch” Nicky is solely hers and hers alone which further compounds on the pain of Nicky’s passing as she is going through one of the worst pains a mother could know, losing a child, but a child that is hers, a creation that was solely hers and therefore no one else can share in the grief of losing him because Nicky was only hers. That’s why also when Agatha and Rio talk about Nicky and how Rio believes she did her a service of giving her more time, Agatha is enraged and says essentially, “all you did was take from me” Yes Rio was her lover and I believe she still has these feelings for her, but to have such a horrible wrong in her eyes from the person she loved the most is unforgivable to know that they couldn’t bend the rules further to keep Nicky alive.

But then you throw Rio into the mix. A lot of this is just theory as nothings been confirmed but I think there’s substantial proof that Rio is the other parent of Nicky. Coming from Rio and Agatha’s past which was VERY heated, Nicky’s general resemblance to Rio in casting and with the line from Nicky of “my Mother wants me home” Nicky only ever refers to Agatha as ‘Mama’ so who is he talking about? Rio.

What’s also being glossed over is that Rio is a green witch along with being Death. Green witch’s control the cycle of life, from birth to death so it’s not out of the realm of possibility that Rio COULD create life and perhaps it was done while she was with Agatha and led to Nicky. The show is centered around Agatha so we can’t see or read into Rios mind but there is obvious care shown between Rio and Nicky in his final scenes.

Rio comes to take him, not in her skeletal form mind you, and he isn’t afraid to go with her and excitedly gets up. Sure he’s a child and could not know who she was but he’s been on countless journeys with his mother killing witches so he’s seen Rio AT LEAST a few times but there’s a further level of intimacy where Nicky would willingly want to go to her and not be scared. The scene is very much reminiscent of a mother with her child, as Rio gently scolds/corrects Nicky for not giving Agatha a kiss before they walk away together.

Nicky is their child, something made from both Agatha and herself and so when she had to do her job and real his soul, she of course is heartbroken and devastes along with Agatha. That’s what makes their confrontation so charged and emotional on both ends. When Agatha accuses her of not giving her special treatment, Rio looks devastated.

Imagine if you created a child with the woman you loved for centuries at this point, but you know you have to reap their soul because while being a green witch, you are still death. And when you come to do your job which you stated you “didn’t want to do” in reference to Rios scar, the person you love most in the world says they will hate you forever and even when you give more time, going against the very natural order you represent you are still cursed at and despised. There is no telling the emotional torment Rio went through and it makes all of this so so sad and horrible.

But there is some hope and I view this as the mending at least on Agatha’s end when she’s having the conversation with Teen and she says “sometimes boys die”. The look of grief and acceptance on her face is what is key as in her mind she’s finally absolving the blame of Nicky’s passing on Rio. It was inevitable, Nicky was going to die and that couldn’t have been changed and there’s no reason to continue to let your hate fester and rot within you.

It’s awful and horrible but god is it so good and marvel did amazing with serious thank god we have this piece of media. This show has been fucking amazing and I’m crying everyday that it’s gone and over now.

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

hii everyone 💕 as you might have noticed i’ve been a lot quieter than usual on tumblr lately, but rest assured i’m still very much here! life has just been a lot the last little while, and i’ve been struggling with some very challenging family issues that have been taking up a lot of time and energy (and also causing my mental health and chronic pain symptoms to be the worst they’ve been in a very long time 🤦🏻‍♀️ ).

i know i’m SUPER behind with getting through my inbox and dms right now, and just wanted to say that if you’ve sent me anything please know how much i appreciate it - i absolutely cherish the friendships i’ve made here, and whenever someone drops a random question into my inbox it always makes my day! 🥰 so yeah, i promise i haven’t forgotten you - i just haven’t had the energy to deal with anything (real life or fandom wise) lately. i’m going to be slowly working my way through things now that i’m doing slightly better, but please forgive me if it still takes a little while for me to get to you!

i am, as always, eternally grateful to everyone who makes this little corner of the internet the wonderful escape it is 🫶 even when i don’t have the energy to interact with anything, being able to come on here and see our fave boys and all of your wonderful fanart/fics/gifsets and hilarious or insightful tags is truly such a joy 💖

finally, i just wanted to say that although things have been a little up and down on the creative front, the next chapter of four walls and my big bang fic are very much still in the works - so keep your eyes open for both those soooon!

sending hugs and kisses and all the best vibes to all you lovely people reading this 😘💗✨💖

[thatnonameuser]

Hi Hi!!~ ♥ I am obsessed with your delectable content, chefs kiss truly♥♥♥ Thank you for hard works and keeping us fed~ I just wanna share a Day dream after absorbing more of your Q+A posts with some K-drama or Manwha.

Fraternal twins that are Darlings. The eldest is always the second choice despite having the sexy villain look, truest heart and talents to see compromise. The odd darling that just wishes to matter, trying to feel alive through the pain of sabotage by being ‘unique’. The youngest is the golden delicate princess look yet always the worst with the ‘world’ at their favor. Manipulation for benefits with tears, seeing their sibling hurt by stealing other’s yanderes through seduction??

Will there be karma or tragedy when they land in the Yandere AU?

From what I got from your ask, a pair of fraternal twins fall into a yandere verse. The eldest is used to being pushed aside and misunderstood thanks to her younger twin’s beauty and charisma.

Personally, I think identical twins would be more messy as then the younger twin's charisma and charm could lead to some confusing times for the yanderes. With the darling being affectionate and adoring on second, and shy and demure the next. 

Regardless. 

Physical appearance holds no weight to a yandere’s attraction. In fact, it can be subject to change as time passes by.  So the younger twin would soon realize that she holds no power. And the older twin would soon realize that she's being appreciated for the first time in her life. 

But since I like the identical schtick so I’m going to expand on it. Landing in a world with so many yanderes, the younger twin will manipulate their appearance to steal and poach the yanderes for her personal game. Better yet, the younger twin could manipulate the yanderes to try and get rid of their twin so that she can milk all the power, wealth and prestige that comes with her yanderes. 

Of course, either way, the yanderes, like a villainess novel, will either get rid of the older twin, or they will find out about the confusing switch up and then retaliate against the younger twin for the abuse the elder suffered. 

Lil’ bonus, say the twins are from a yandereverse of their own. With the younger twin being a yandere herself and using her looks and charm to manipulate the yanderes around them to isolate her sister, falling into another yandereverse where her previous tactics now fail and she has to compete with her sister’s other yanderes, whilst trying to manipulate them into staying away. 

[poets-cinema]

thinking about alan and alice and this is so messy because i’m just writing all of my thoughts as they come and i can’t be bothered to edit but i’m feeling so Evil and having so many thoughts and feelings about them and i need to put them somewhere because i feel so insane and evil and i need to die.

thinking about how alice “drowned” (taken by the dark presence) before alan could apologize to her. she was in the dark place alone, her last thoughts of her husband him yelling at her and storming out into the night. after months of a deteriorating marriage, a last-ditch effort to save their relationship, a romantic gesture from him, lending an olive branch from her, hoping he can finally get the help he so desperately needs, hoping they can fix their broken relationship. all of those hopes shattered in a moment, a sickening moment, an outburst of anger and pain and fear and suddenly blackness, being pulled under currents by malevolent forces unknown to her.

and while she’s down there, she doesn’t know about his efforts to save her. she doesn’t know how much he cares about her or is worried about her. she doesn’t even know if he knows that she’s gone. all that she knows is that he walked out. all she knows is that she failed, they failed. they couldn’t save their marriage and she couldn’t save him.

imagine for months all you want is your partner back, for them to get better, to be happy, to do what they love, to get back to who you know they are, and all of your good intentions blow up in your face. thinking about how alice must have felt in those moments, utterly helpless in the face of the actual darkness and her own husband’s darkness. the voice in her head that was telling her to give up on him, on them, mocking her for ever trying. for giving him a chance after all the crap he put her through.

imagine the MONTHS and MONTHS she spent dealing with his volative behaviour, unmedicated and refusing to get help, sabotaging his life, their life, and every second it feels like you’re getting further and further from any chance that you can help him. further from the life you always wanted with him. further from any hope of having a normal life.

and sure he always had his bad moments- you didn’t marry a saint and you knew that going in. but the endless headlines and arrests and nights spent wondering what shape he was going to come back in or even if he was going to come back at all, weighing on you day and night. the highs and lows, the crashes and the hangovers.

and being in the dark place, in the wake of their fight, a place where all of your fears and worries and worst thoughts compound and reflect, twisting your thoughts. being in that place in such a headspace, how sickening it must have been for her. how truly horrifying her experience must have been.

and then. AND THEN. at the end of it all, coming out of the dark place, unsure how long it had been unsure if she was alive or dead. the most terrifying experience of her life and when she comes back alan is gone. waking up alone and scared and tortured and the person you love the most in the world, yet who has also caused you the most harm, who’s been with you at your best and worst times- he’s gone. and like that she has no one to confide in, no one to apologize to or make up with. and people say he died, people say he killed himself. and how horrified she must have been, after piecing together what had happened to her and knowing deep down, that alan wasn’t dead, no- he was enduring the same hell that she endured. how ripped apart alice must have been. to know that he traded his life for hers.

for 13 years their last conversation was an argument.

[glossdebut]

PRICE OF FAME | MYG ★ PLAYLIST

hello!!! music is going to play a very important part in the price of fame series, so i wanted to post this playlist i’ve been working on since september when i originally had the idea for the story! i have been listening to this playlist nonstop while writing and i'm pretty proud of it tbh

there is a spotify link for the playlist, but i have also linked every song below on youtube if you don’t have spotify! + i’ve included the lyrics from each song that are most relevant to yoongi & MC

anyway!!! ahhhhh chapter one is being posted tomorrow! are we excited??? i know i am! if you listen to this playlist, please let me know what you think! any thoughts/feedback/THEORIES are 100% welcome (:

『 spotify link ★ series masterlist 』

01. price of fame | brent faiyaz

『 all of the things they want / and don't know why they want it (i know, look) / they don't wanna give you time to heal / they just wanna bleed you dry, for real / and if you're comfortable, don't let no one know / they'll fuck it up (i know) 』

02. perhaps vampires is a bit strong but… | arctic monkeys

『 well, i ain't got no dollar signs in my eyes / that might be a surprise but it's true / said, "i'm not like you and i don't want your advice / or your praise or to move in the ways you do and i never will" / 'cause all you people are vampires / and all your stories are stale / and though you pretend to stand by us / i know you're certain we'll fail 』

03. celebrity skin | hole

『 when i wake up in my makeup / have you ever felt so used up as this? / it's all so sugarless, hooker, waitress / model, actress, oh, just go nameless / honeysuckle, she's full of poison / she obliterated everything she kissed / now she's fading somewhere in hollywood / i'm glad i came here with your pound of flesh 』

04. evil twin | arctic monkeys

『 it's more a hunger than a thirst / she'll break your heart the second time / before you know about the first / looks well equipped to leave you in the lurch / but you'd let her do her worst / and it's not hard to tell / it's obvious the other angels' faces fell / when she told him that she had to go / swapped her wings and overcoat for something colorful 』

05. ignorance | paramore

『 if i'm a bad person, you don't like me / well, i guess i'll make my own way / it's a circle, a mean cycle / i can't excite you anymore / where's your gavel? your jury? / what's my offense this time? / you're not a judge, but if you're gonna judge me / oh, sentence me to another life / don't wanna hear your sad songs, i don't wanna feel your pain / when you swear it's all my fault 'cause you know we're not the same 』

06. escapism. | raye ft. 070 shake

『 last night really was the cherry on the cake / been some dark days lately and i'm findin' it cripplin' / excuse my state, i'm as high as your hopes / that you'll make it to my bed, get me hot and sizzlin' / if i take a step back to see the glass half-full / at least it's the prada two-piece that i'm trippin' in / and i'm already actin' like a dick, know what i mean? / so you might as well stick it in 』

07. still take you home | arctic monkeys

『 well, it's ever so funny / 'cause i don't think you're special, i don't think you're cool / you're just probably alright / but under these lights you look beautiful / and i'm struggling, i can't see through your fake tan / yeah, and you know it for a fact that everybody's eating out of your hands / but what do you know? / oh, you know nothing / yeah, but i'll still take you home 』

08. the doll people | sofia isella

『 the doll people are not men / they are made of ass and glass / our skin is clay and painted blue / our head can detach / we are statues with a pulse / we are art you can fuck / the doll people are quiet / what is there to say? / art does not interpret itself / there are men with a day to save / we are paintings with legs / we are art you can fuck 』

09. supervixen | garbage

『 a hit is hard to resist, and i never miss / i can take you out with just a flick of my wrist / make a whole new religion / a fallin' star that you cannot live without / and i'll feed your obsessions / there is nothin' but this thing that you'll never doubt / this thing you'll never doubt 』

10. popular | the weeknd & madonna ft. playboi carti

『 beggin' on her knees to be popular / that's her dream, to be popular / kill anyone to be popular / sell her soul to be popular / just to be popular / everybody scream 'cause she popular / she mainstream 'cause she popular / never be free 'cause she popular 』

11. teddy picker | arctic monkeys

『 and it's the thousandth time that it's even bolder / don't be surprised when you get bent over / they told you, but you were dying for it / she saw it and she grabbed it and it wasn't what it seemed / the kids all dream of making it, whatever that means 』

12. she’s my collar | gorillaz ft. kali uchis

『 she's the serpentine, she's my collar / i send a message, never call her / and now i wanna taste another / and it's safe in a persona, she's my collar / nothing to be justified in / she the first i'm running with / she the one that get my collar / she the one i'm running with 』

13. petals | hole

『 they will make you so / so cynical / the fire burns the flesh / destroys the best that made our souls / she's the grace of this world / she's too pure / for the likes of this world / this world is a whore / tear the petals off of you / and make you tell the truth 』

14. reptilia | the strokes

『 now every time that i look at myself / i thought i told you, this world is not for you / the room is on fire and she's fixing her hair / you sound so angry, just calm down, you found me / i said please don't slow me down if i'm going too fast / you're in a strange part of our town 』

15. the summoning | sleep token

『 oh, and my love / did i mistake you for a sign from god / or are you really here to cast me off? / or maybe just to turn me on / 'cause these days / i would be lying if i told you that / i didn't wish that i could be your man / or maybe make a good girl bad 』

16. guns + ammunition | july talk

『 guns and ammunition / make bullets out of you / you speak dynamic diction / and i see right through that too / when i think about you / my whole world falls through 』

17. false alarm | the weeknd

『 bathroom stalls for the powder nose (she loves) / high heel shoes with the open toes (she loves) / she's got a good time wrapped in gold / for you, for you / all red dress with the devil eyes (she loves) / so obsessed with the camera lights (she loves) / you love her, but you can't deny / the truth, the truth 』

18. image | magdalena bay

『 what's the best you've got? / i forgot all my common sense / i need all the common sense / time to start the clock, from the top / i need confidence / confidence in medicine / but oh, my god / twenty-two more minutes / oh, so hot / meet your brand new image 』

19. when the night is over | lord huron

『 now the trail has gone cold / i don't know where else to go / and my time, i fear, is nearly over / when the ocean drinks the sky / and the city winks its eye / when the night is done, you'll vanish in the sun / will i hold you when the night is over? 』

20. self explained | cherry glazerr

『 i started reeking of the people i was with / i have no secret, i was freaking out a bit / i took a chopper 'cause i grew up with a lot of changes / i am alone a lot, i see this as my weakness / i am embarrassed of my solo, i don't know why / i don't want people to know how much time i spend alone / time i spend alone, time i spend alone, time i spend alone / when i take you on, i try / when i take you on, i try 』

21. bad guy | billie eilish

『 i'm only good at bein' bad, bad / i like when you get mad / i guess i'm pretty glad that you're alone / you said she's scared of me? / i mean, i don't see what she sees / but maybe it's 'cause i'm wearing your cologne 』

22. cinnamon girl | lana del rey

『 there's things i wanna say to you / but i'll just let you live / like if you hold me without hurting me / you'll be the first who ever did / there's things i wanna talk about / but better not to give / but if you hold me without hurting me / you'll be the first who ever did 』

23. fake happy | paramore

『 oh, please, don't ask me how i've been / don't make me play pretend, oh, no / oh, what's the use? / oh, please, i bet everybody here is fake happy too / and if i go out tonight, dress up my fears / you think i look alright with these mascara tears? / see, i'm gonna draw my lipstick wider than my mouth / and if the lights are low, they'll never see me frown 』

24. distressor | cherry glazerr

『 dip it in my makeup / take a place away from the main stage / better than a traitor / push up on the fader / i just wanna drown in my own noise / i just wanna drown in my own noise / beneath time, the only faces i can see / are the faces i pushed away from me / so i can just be 』

25. billions | caroline polachek

『 psycho, priceless / good in a crisis / working the angles / oh, billions / sexting sonnets / under the tables / tangled in cables / oh, billions / salty (ah), flavor (ah) / lies like a sailor / but he loves like a painter 』

✧ TAGLIST: @jajabro @pitchblack0309 @sugar-snap @ot72025 @ktownshizzle

@futuristicenemychaos @tea4sykes @sugainmybowl @namjoonsbuspass @wobblewobble822

[remove-the-stairs-bitch]

.

[canisonicscrewyou]

Fuck this entire week oh my fucking godddd. This felt like a little trial. Hurdles to get through the last of Busy Season for the year.

This week:

I shut down my store's entire IT system while being guided through a troubleshoot and it took ~45 minutes to fix it

Rolled + landed on my ankle on my walk to work on Halloween. Had to limp into work.

On Halloween I also had to kick out an intoxicated dude on a bike who tried to serve himself water out of a crushed, grimy to-go cup by leaning his entire body over the bar after going to the registers to ask ME for a cup of water. Left after telling me he has two no-trespassing orders from my store.

Had to hobble my way home because I had no way of getting a ride because my city closes down half the streets for Halloween.

Worked through my bruised and busted up ankle for ~3 days while another coworker called out to. Probably catch up on school work.

Nearly cried at work like. Several. Times. Partially from overwhelm and confusion and now partially from pain.

Watched my boss feel immensely bad after seeing My Ouchie and then went home. (<- only for my fiancé to come in to pick me up and then when I wasn't there, tell my boss and coworker that I should have called out today which is. Correct.)

Now I'm really just sitting with my injured leg Up High and On Ice

I got to see some fireworks, dress up as Will Graham, my coworker gave me the last of her cigarettes, and I got to post fic though so. Not all bad. I guess.

[autoneurotic]

called out at work as an astarion girlie

[fingertipsmp3]

I think one of my wisdom teeth is coming in and like. Can It Not

[cyancherub]

how did u get over ur breakup if u don’t mind me asking bc i feel like i am drowning

i do not mind beloved!!! to be honest with you i still am not over it, i think of him often and i dream of him regularly. but i am in a much better place and i genuinely DO feel happy for the majority of my days now.

it will take time but when people say that things get easier they mean it. it feels like it won't ever get better but it will and it does, i promise u! genuinely thought i could not live without that guy but hey im still kickin. u will be okay. reach out to your support system (friends, family, etc) because there are people who love you and care about you and want to be there for you. invest the love you would have been putting into that relationship into other relationships that are important to you. reconnect w people and rebuild connections that have dwindled. stay busy. do things that you enjoy & haven't had time to do bc you spent that time on the relationship. nurture yourself - eat well, get your body moving (endorphins do wonders), practice self care. you will be happy again, i promise.