HEARTSEASE
Masterlist
“Damn it” It’s the second time in less than 5 minutes that my finger got stuck in a flowerpot, if this keeps going it will be purple by the end of the day.
The sound of the door makes me stand but my hopes get crushed; my finger is already turning purple.
“Hi, how can I help you?” My eyes are stuck to my finger, maybe a band aid will help.
“Hi, I've come to pick a couple of bouquets.” I remember Lilian left me a note next to the computer of the customers that come every week without fail.
I shake my head, raising my eyes… you must be joking.
“Am, Joe right?” Joe nods, taking out his credit card. “Give me a second, I’ll bring it.”
In the back room I have my little crisis, Lilian told me a <Joe> always comes Tuesday morning for 3 bouquets of flowers, she didn’t have any specific type of flowers he prefers, but he clearly likes tulips so she made sure to have 3 bouquets of tulips ready.
A little issue, she forgot to specify that <Joe> is Joe Burrow.
I take a deep breath walking to the counter with the bouquets, fighting for my life for not making a huge scene.
I’m not a huge fan of football but being raised in a family who loves it, makes me really aware of who Joe Burrow is, plus he’s so handsome face to face.
I follow the protocolary steps for a sale, however a painful finger complicates a few things.
“Are you new?” His question along the judgy face to my finger made me laugh. “I don’t trying to sound rude, it’s just I've never seen you before.”
“No, I get it, don't worry.” I choke my head trying to explain how the hell I end it here. “Am, I’m Lilian’s friend and partner.”
As we finished college Lilian was pretty determined to follow her dreams, be the owner of her own florist's, so for a full year worked in set everything, until she realized she didn't have any clue of how to make this work. A late night call and her persuasive speech was enough for me to turn on her partner.
Lilian is in charge of all the flower things and me, I’m pretty good with numbers and paperwork.
“Oh, you’re her neuron girl?” Since middle school Lilian has given me that nickname after she knew I was the highest score in math in our classroom. Like she said, <I’m the hands, you’re the brain>
I nod smiling. “I am.”
Joe smiles, extending his hands. “I’m Joe Burrow.”
“I know!” Way to a cheerful answer. “Sorry, I know.” I answer in a calm tone, shaking his hand.
“So, you’ll be working here?” He asks looking around the florist's, a little bit messy, opposite of how Lilian used to have it.
“Oh, no, no, just a few months until Lilian sets her new routine.” He narrowed his eyes. “No way!, You don’t know? Don’t offend but for being one of our best customers, it’s kind of impressive.”
Joe laughs scratching his nose. “She’s going to get married. Right now she is with her fiance in South Carolina, giving the big news.”
“Oh, she told me something about a big change, she didn’t specify.” Another man enters looking between the bouquets. “Well, I leave you, thanks.”
I nod, smiling at him. “You’re welcome, thanks for coming.”
“I guess, I see you around, right?” Joe asks before turning away with the bouquets in his hands.
“I’m afraid you do.” He laughs walking to the door.
Lilian of course sees my awkward interaction with Joe through the security cameras, in my defense if she even mentions or specifies who Joe is, all be more calm.
“Don’t worry, he just passed one per week, so you probably will see him a few times.” Lilian said before I change the topic about their tour for South Carolina announcing to the closest friends and family of Jason, her finance.
The day passed as I got used to the movement around the florist's and all the handy tasks, the administrative ones I have under control.
“Ok, ok, slow, slow.” Colin, my little brother, makes me laugh. We spent an hour in a video call explaining to him his calculus homework.
I explained to him one more time, like if I teached him to count for the very first time. “Got it?”
The door announced a new customer. “Hey, I have to go, practice and call me in case I need to explain to you one more time.
Collin nods, biting the tip of his pen before raising his eyes with a smile. “Take care, it’s starting to get cold.”
“Love you.” I nod laughing for the way he scratches his forehead, for sure he will call me.
“Hi, how can I help you?” I close my laptop. “Joe, hi.”
Joe is waiting next to the new bouquets I made this morning; as I analyzed my words I opened my eyes. A week has passed? I don’t have his bouquets ready.
“Shit, sorry, I don’t have anything ready but if you give me a…” Joe giggles, shaking his head.
“It’s all right, I actually came early.” He has his hands in his pockets. “I have a… flower emergency.”
I tilt my head. “I need a bouquet so, what better than to come to my place of trust.”
“Oh, what do you need?” Joe looked around but his eyes stuck to the bouquet next to him.
“These are…” I feel very proud that it calls for his attention.
I walked where he was with a proud smile. “Heartsease.” Still his eyes didn't move, probably that wasn’t the one he was looking for. “But if you…”
“You made it?” His honest curiosity made me smile.
“That obvious , huh?” Joe laughs but raises his hands.
“No, no, it’s pretty, I’ll take it.” My eyes wide open. “If someone hasn’t taken it already.”
“NO.” Jesus! I should control my voice tone. “I mean, no, I’ll get ready for you.”
I take the bouquet feeling proud, after all it’s my first own made bouquet that sells.
“Here you have, and your card.” He takes the bouquet and his card. “Thanks for your purchase.”
Joe nods, walking back to the door, but stops. “Can you have another in two days at this hour?”
I smile. “Of course.” Joe nods with a press lip smile.
“Then I see you tomorrow.” He walks outside of the store smelling his bouquet with a slight smile on his face.
That's how he passed every two days for the same type of bouquet… for 2 weeks, at the beginning I made sure I had it prepared but with time I took my time to make it as he was in the store, sharing good talks and laughs with him.
Getting closer to the guy who’s making these days more comfortable and easy going.
“It’s late, what the hell are you doing there?” Lilian complained after I picked up her video call.
I switch the camera so she can see I’m making the last bouquet that I totally forgot I must deliver early in the morning.
“I have a lot of flowers to receive this week and I totally forgot, so here I am.” Lilian giggles, she looks tired but happy. “Are you all right?”
“Yes, of course, just a lot of movement around here.” She shakes her head. “Hey, for two weeks and looking at the numbers you’re dealing pretty well there.”
Our sales are maintained and even on some days increase, making me feel proud.
“Joe shops help a lot.” It’s been 5 days since he stopped coming after a game outside of Cincinnati.
“I guess, it’s pretty weird though.” She remains in silence thinking. “Maybe he has a girlfriend”
“Yes, I think the same, I guess the flowers work all the time.” I put the last flower on the bouquet to talk freely.
She winks her eyes. “Told you. However please send him a bouquet, the hit he received last game seems pretty nasty.”
“What hit?” Lilian rolls her eyes, sending me a link of a video, where you can see Joe has been literally smashed against the ground. “Auch.”
“You know there are more than 49ers in the league, right?” She’s fully aware of my family being big fans of them, after all, that’s where we live. “His address is on the computer.”
I see how her smile brightens the sign that Jason is in the room, confirming it when he appears behind her giving a kiss in her head.
“Hi, Y/N.” He greteen me. “I promise, give me another month and she’ll be yours one more time.”
I laugh seeing how they look at each other. “Oh, no, she’s fully yours now, believe me.”
They share a quick kiss in front of me. “Oh my, I’ll leave you, it’s nice to see you Jason.”
The couple laughs as he waves his hand before disppared. “Don’t forget the bouquet, ok?”
“How could I?” I said before hanging out, seeing the bouquet I forgot to do days ago.
After a long day of coming and going Gael arrived at the store for the last delivery. Gael is a boy, similar age as Colin, who Lilian contracted months ago; even at the benign I was reluctant, meeting him made the decision look so easy. Since the first day he helps me everytime he can, even teaches me things Lilian does and I don’t even know.
“This is the last one, I promise.” He sat in the chair next to the counter tired of going all over the town. “You can go after this.”
Gael shakes his head. “It’s fine, I can help you to close.”
I smile while putting the note in the bouquet. “I can handle myself, go, you deserved it.”
“Ok.” He stands taking the bouquet with him. “See you tomorrow Y/N.”
I smile waving my hand, a bouquet of tulips and heartsease on the way to Joe house.
Wednesday morning is going so relaxing after a busy week, this seems to be my relaxing day; for the day Lilian and I have been talking about taking a week off and going home, like she said after all <You’re running this alone> but I will reserve that for thanksgiving.
It’s Colin's last Thanksgiving before going to college, so I want to be there to enjoy the holidays with my family.
“How do I look?” Gael came out from the back of the store with nice clothes for his date.
I clap loudly making him feel shy for the way he clears his throat and stands straight. “Be careful boy or I’ll kick you out of here all right?”
Gael nods hugging me, I just help a little bit with the outfit selections. “Promise. I have to go or I’ll be late.”
He was almost at the door when I saw the bouquet. “Hey! Take this.” Gael searches in his pockets. “It’s on the house.”
He took the bouquet of my hands kissing my cheek. “The best bosses in the world.”
I laughed, pushing him, making some things fall on the ground. As I picked them up hearing the door open on close one more time.
“Now what? What do you forget?” I stand hitting my head with the desk.
“Omg, are you all right?” Joe approached as I held my head.
A smile appears on my face. “Joe, hi!” Yes, it hurts. “Yeah, it’s just a bump. I think I’m the one who should be asking you that.”
Joe laughs, making me sit on the chair. “I’m better, thanks for asking.” He sat on his feet to be at the level of my eyes. “Are you sure you’re ok?”
I nod. “Yeah, nothing a painkiller won’t take away.” I shake my head feeling his eyes on me all the time. “Tell me, how can I help you?”
“Yeah, right, I came for a bouquet.” I nod but he doesn’t move so I can’t stand.
“Am, I need to stand to give you the bouquet.” He blinks and stands.
“Right, sorry.” I smile. “Can you put this on the bouquet?” He gives a small envelope.
After all, I think Lilian is right, Joe has a girlfriend.
“For someone special?” I look at him raising my eyebrows, his face turns red and giggles. “Ok, I get, what do you want in that bouquet?”
“Same as always.” He walks around the shop. “Hey, thank you for the bouquet from last week.”
I started to prepare for it. “Oh, I hope at least you won’t miss your three-day-bouquet.”
I heard him giggling, but I’m pretty focused on my task. “Do you mind taking a look at the note? I don’t mind a second point of view.”
“Sure, I’m warning you, I’m not good at romantic advice.” After cleaning my hands I opened the small envelope. “This is a chessy note or a r…”
My words stuck on my throat. <Can I have your number?> I tilt my head, no way… He’s just about to ask for her phone.
“Wait, you don’t have her phone?” I asked to save the note one more time. “Sorry, probably it’s not my business.”
I return to my job. “It’s kind of cute, so yeah, I’ll go for it.” Joe appears behind a big bouquet licking his lips.
“You think so?” I smile at him, nodding. “By the way, I tried to thank you but well, hmh, I don’t have your phone either.”
“You have it from the florist's.” I said searching for the ribbons. “A color in mind?”
“No, please, I’ll leave you to your choice.” I picked the lavande color, as he stayed quite.
I finished the last touches, set all the flowers, put the note one more time in the envelope and stuck softly to the bouquet, carefully so I don't smash or damage any flower.
“Here you have.” I give him the bouquet smiling proudly, making good progress with my time work.
“Thanks, hm, I guess, I’ll see soon.” He looks kind of confused, like he is missing something.
“Good luck.” I smile at him, his shoulders dropping as he walks to the exit.
My phone lights one, a message from Colin, he gets an A+ in his last exam, after two long weeks of working on the same topic every night.
“Shit.” I run out of the store, after something clicks my head. “JOE!”
Joe is about to get into his car, when he saw me coming out of the store, I reached him as he held his door open.
I told him my phone number, but he doesn’t get it, for the way his eyebrow frowns, making me giggle. “It’s my phone number.”
“Oh.” He takes his cellphone out, taking note this time. “Got it.”
“I’ll leave, I don’t want you to make her wait.” I wink at him. “Have fun!”
“It’s ju…” His words were cut for an old man shouting my name.
Mr. McNeill, one of the spoiled customers Lilian, he every wednesday morning came for a bouquet of roses for his wife, who passed away 3 years ago, after picking up, he goes to her grave to give her flowers.
“Sorry I have to go, but hey, tell me next time how it goes for you.” I said walking backwards. “Bye.”
I ran to reach Mr. McNeill who was holding the door for me with a smile, wearing his classic brown suit.
“A new friend?” He asked as we entered the florist's. “I could swear I have seen him before.”
I laugh with my head backwards. “I bet you do, and yes, it’s a new friend.”
“Another person who will miss you.” I shake my head feeling shy. “That’s cruel.”
“Don’t worry, you’ll have me…” I look at the calendar on the desks. “Another two months.”
Mr. McNeill smiles, taking his wallet from his pockets. “Same as always darling, please.”
I nod walking to the backroom where the bouquet it’s ready, as he observes the flowers spread all over the counter for the just made bouquet.
“Heartsease, huh?” He takes the flowers. “First love, right?”
I nod smiling. “How do you know?”
Mr. McNeill grabs one flower and smells it. “My lovely wife made me learn a lot of the meaning of flowers.”
Both of us smile looking at the flowers. “Well, I’ll leave you, do you mind if I take one?”
“Please.” He took the yellow one, putting on the bouquet. “Perfect.”
Mr. McNeill smiles. “Did you find your first love darling?” His innocent question left me speechless, causing him to chuckle. “It always comes, right to our door.”
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Part 1 - Part 4 - Part 5
When Alex managed to get Kara to talk, J'onn and Winn was already at the DEO.
Honestly speaking, Kara didn't know herself why everything Lena said upset her so much.
It's not like she was entirely wrong. Lena Luthor was the only sister of Lex Luthor, daughter of Lilian Luthor, so basically it wasn't much of a stretch to assume that she was like them.
"Lena Luthor, 22 years old, claimed to be abducted a month ago after car accident on her way to the National City, reported by her friend and colleague Samantha Arias. She was supposed to move here to take over Luthor Corp after Lex was sentenced to the prison. Right now that is all we know". Alex reported to J'onn while Winn tinkered with something on the table near.
"And no one knows where she is after a month?" Kara asked incredulously.
"No one searched", Alex's grim answer made Winn look up from his ghost vacuum. "Police didn't find anything, and well, they wasn't the most enthusiastic about it. And we were swamped with work even without someone who is not even on the DEO's territory".
"Well, we have time now", Winn shrugged. "We need to find... the body. She has a friend who's worried about her. Friend with a child actually. Lena Luthor seemed close to their family".
They all fell silent. Lena being a ghost didn't gave any positivety to their search.
"Find everything about her", J'onn said to Winn, lowering his heavy hand on Kara's shoulder. It was grounding to feel the pressure unlike usual. "I'll talk with officers and then we'll go to the site".
Kara was stuck between her feelings. She didn't know Lena for long so it was strange to worry for her like that and there was their families' history also, but still. Kara was the only one to see her, the only one to hear someone who was basically kidnapped after a car crush. It was complicated.
"I'll go home for a bit. Maybe... she's there".
/ / / / / / / /
"Lena?"
Kara tentatively asked, walking around her apartment. It was quiet and empty as it was supposed to be.
"We are going to find you", she still said to nothing. "I don't know what kind of person you were but I still want to help you. No one deserves to be abandoned."
Her living room was still empty but somehow it wasn't as cold as before.
"I'll find you. And then we'll talk, okay? Just wait for me".
Flying back to the DEO, Kara didn't know that transperent eyes followed her fluttering cape.
/ / / / / / / /
They left Winn in the building as the support, while Alex was contacting with the police, and went to the place, where Lena was last seen. Of course, no one had much hope, still accident happened the whole month ago, but J'onn decided that with their heightened senses they can still get some clues.
So Kara was looking with her x-ray vision for the parts someone could miss. When she turned it off she suddenly noticed someone standing at the side of the road.
"Lena!" Kara rushed to her, despite J'onn's raised brow.
Lena was standing near some random bush, lost in thoughts.
"You are here! I was afraid I won't see you anymore..." it was a bit embarrassing to admit, but no less true. It was a strange attachment, but Kara blame it on the responsibility she has as Supergirl and as the only person able to see Lena.
"You said you won't give up on me", Lena smiled, but it still lacked the gentle wonder her smiles had the day prior. "I wanted to honor your determination".
"Do you remember something?"
"Just blurred moments. It was a day time, I was driving. Why I was driving myself?" Lena muttered, her gaze unfocused. "Then I was afraid. Something happened, it seems. Then I was in pain. Someone talked to me. Then nothing".
"It's already a lot", Kara almost tried to took Lena's hand, before remembering that it won't work. So she was left awkwardly wringing her hands. "We'll look around some more".
"It'so strange to hear you talking to yourself", Winn intervened in her ear. Kara ignored him.
She left Lena there to tell J'onn (and Winn) what happened, but never once Supergirl took her eyes off her for longer than 20 seconds.
J'onn quietly said that it was fortunate that Lena returned. Kara flashed him a grateful smile.
"Miss Luthor, do you remember if you had any devices on you?" J'onn asked in the general direction of Lena, after the hour of examining every piece of junk they could find in the two mile radius.
Lena's image flickered a little while she was thinking. Kara suddenly thought that if Lena was used to flying, she would've wobbled in the air.
"Well, I think I talked with someone while driving, so the phone, I guess? Also... Something small..." she flickered some more, each time somehow more agitated than last.
"I pressed something while everything was hurting. Something no one would've noticed, something I could press while losing cosciousness..." Lena's form suddenly stabilized. She looked at them with realization.
"I had emergency button in my sleeve".
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Wrote this all last night in a rush after thinking about aroace podlock too hard - not sure how good it is but people on the discord liked it! so y'all will get it too
[Rushing sounds. At first it sounds like white noise, but there's a rhythm to it, swelling and ebbing; waves crashing onto sand. Wind whistles past the mic occasionally, while soft footsteps can be heard underneath. A quiet beach...
...Well, quiet, except for John giving one of his characteristic introductions to a mailbag episode, before starting proper.]
JOHN: ...Okay, first question is for Sherlock, from Gammijonk - thought the 'Jonk' joke was starting to die down a bit, but apparently not! This one can be quite a, uh, heavy one, mate, so totally up to you if you want to answer or not.
They ask: "No need to answer if you feel uncomfortable," like I said, and then the question is, "As what sexuality do you identify, and how did you come to realize?" Again, I'll just edit this out and we can start with another one if you don't want to share that kind of info with the listeners.
SHERLOCK: No need, it's... alright. I'm in a sharing mood, I find. Not sure whether it's the calming effect of the noise from the waves or something else.
...I, uh, consider myself to be asexual.
JOHN: ...Uh- what- but- I mean, not that I'm disagreeing with you on your own identity and such, but I thought you told me you were gay?
SHERLOCK: I definitely did not.
JOHN: No, I distinctly remember, after the Gloria Scott case - I asked you if you had been in a relationship with Trevor. And you said yes!
SHERLOCK: Correct.
JOHN: Okay, well, so, then...?
SHERLOCK: I- well. Let's see... I could, try to describe it another way?
JOHN: Right, right. I've actually heard of that before, now you mention it... So that's you, then?
Within aspec identities, there is often a distinction made between sexual attraction, and romantic attraction. Sexual attraction is when you look at a person and feel like you want to have sex with them. Romantic attraction is when you look at a person and want to have a romantic relationship with them.
For most people, these two kinds of attraction seem to be intrinsically linked, but just as someone could conceivably have a romantic relationship without sex, or two people can have sex without being in a romantic relationship, so too is it possible to feel one kind of attraction, but not the other.
SHERLOCK: Ah, no. The distinction feels meaningless when applied to myself.
But, I mentioned it, because I feel it illustrates something of the complicated semantics when it comes to identity, sexuality and romance.
To get back to the original question for a moment as to how I realized; When I was very young, I wasn't thinking about attraction at all. Then, as a young teenager, my sexuality felt noteworthy only in that it seemed to make me worthy of praise, a rarity: other boys were constantly doing stupid things, willing to do anything to impress a girl-
JOHN: -While you were only doing stupid things for the love of the game?
SHERLOCK: Hah. Quite. Well, mostly in order to follow my hyperfixations wherever they lead me, but I won't deny that as a teenager I might not have always been capable of making the brightest decisions.
In any case, as I got older, I began to realise that my lack of attraction was not, in fact, a sign that I was simply better than the other boys, but something that required a different explanation. So, I did what I do best, and I began to... experiment.
During that time, I eventually entered into a relationship with Trevor Scott. And those relationships would lead me to eventually learn the terms asexuality and aromanticism, in fact. Looking back, I still didn't feel romantic attraction for Trevor or others then, either. But a romance certainly was the way I and him viewed it at the time. And I certainly did love him.
JOHN: Right, that makes sense.
SHERLOCK: So, you see, that's where your confusion stemmed from.
Anyways, now that I had a name for my experiences, after that there followed a brief and unfortunate period in which I felt like I had to figure out whether my asexuality originated in one of my neurodivergences, or if those were two unrelated ways in which I deviated from the societal norm.
Thankfully I quickly came to the conclusion that that would be a fruitless endeavour, like trying to prove a negative. There is only one version of me, and he is asexual, and he is autistic. Whether or not those two facts are related, is frankly irrelevant.
...That answers the question, I believe?
JOHN: It definitely does. Wow, mate. That was a lot of talking, for one of these! Man. Feels difficult to follow up with some question about what's our favourite, finger, or something... That was just an example, they, they didn't actually ask that.
...Do you... want a hug?
SHERLOCK: Uhm, sure? Yes. I could go for one. Any particular reason why?
JOHN: Not really - just felt like giving you one.
[Fabric rustles. It's quiet for a long moment, only wind and waves.]
SHERLOCK: ... If we count the thumb as a finger, obviously that's my favourite.
JOHN: Obviously?
[END]
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