#But this time I'm getting so much lovely feedback that my motivation for part 2 is still very high!
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Playground is truly an amazing piece of art. The expressions, the postures, the shades of pink in the mind place, Viktor's look and self-confidence, Jayce's adoration ; everything is gorgeous! Can't wait for the next part ❤️
Thank you very much! I'm very happy that my art matches the story ❤️🙏 I'm also really glad to hear that compared to the many great artists in the Arcane fandom, my little comic can hold its own!
#arcane asks#I usually get demotivated very quickly when I draw comics#But this time I'm getting so much lovely feedback that my motivation for part 2 is still very high!
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and they were roommates pt. 2
pairing : Spencer Reid x fem!student!roommate!reader summary : the BAU team works the case, you get to help word count : 2.3k warning : canon-typical violence, mention of violence and sexual violence A/N : thank you all so much for all the love on part 1 of this !!! I love getting feedback, it's incredibly motivating ! I will probably do a part 3 :)) Also, my cat is sitting next to me as I write this, which I find quite funny
part 1, part 3, part 4
Back at the police station, Spencer had trouble focusing on the case. His mind kept wandering over to you, wondering what you were doing, how you were doing. He was on edge and the entire team could feel it. Hotch pulled him to the side to ask him if he wanted to give you a phone call. Reid refused, but settled on sending you a text, something he never usually did while working. Something he never usually did because he wasn't the biggest fan of technology and also because he couldn't decipher how you were actually feeling without hearing your voice and all the quirks in the way you spoke which gave away your real feelings.
Sent by Dr. Ironed Socks : < Hey. How are you doing? > Sent by You : < Ok, I'm having a tea on the couch. Geoff is in REM sleep on my lap. Thx for checking <3 >
Your text was followed by a pixelly picture of your slightly overweight (Spencer couldn't use that term to describe Geoffrey around you or you'd get upset) orange cat sprawled out on your lap, legs and arms askew, fast asleep. Spencer felt a small wave of relief spread through him. You were okay for now. Geoffrey was looking after you. Later, he'd help you process and give you all the tools necessary to get over such a traumatic event and move on. It was almost as if that was in his job description.
Returning to the room where the BAU team had settled in, Spencer sent Hotch a grateful nod. Hotch moved his lips in what resembled a small smile, Reid couldn't be sure. "Okay," Garcia's voice resounded from the speaker sitting in the middle of the round table, "I've contacted all of Mary Goldman's professors and it turns out she didn't go to class today. Her first class was at 11:30 but she never showed up." "None of the students we interrogated on campus had seen her after 10:15," Emily spoke up. "Spencer's roommate saw her between 10:30 and 11:00," Rossi intervened. "Okay, we'll get her to come in," Hotch affirmed. Spencer's whole body tensed. You had been the last person to see the victim. His mind was so busy reeling, thinking about everything you'd have to go through as the most promising witness, that he missed Morgan's question.
"Reid?" Derek raised an eyebrow. "Uh, sorry, what did you say?" "What was the time of death according to the coroner?" "14:30," Rossi answered. "It was 14:26, actually," corrected Reid. Rossi rolled his eyes. "Okay, so the unsub has his victim between around, let's say 11:15, and 14:26," Rossi shot a pointed look at Spencer, "that's about three hours and 11 minutes. In those three hours, he had time to take the victim someplace where neither of them would be seen or heard, beat and sexually assault her, and finally dump her in smack-dab in front of the university." "He's definitely organised and wants to send a message," Emily thought aloud. "But what is he trying to say? Look at what I can do? You can't stop me?" "Friends," interrupted Garcia, "I'm going to need at least some information before I even try to get anything out of a search. He's taking and leaving them on campus, so I'm guessing he doesn't necessarily need a vehicle. Does he live in the area?" "Yes, he's local or knows the area, he knows these women and he most likely knows the campus. Search for white males, early twenties with a record of violence and sexual misconduct. Cross-reference that with victims of reported abuse and sexual abuse in the last twenty five years. Run background checks for all university staff. Also have a look at similar victims and MOs in this area in the last five years. This may not be his first time," spoke Hotch. "On it, I'll get back to you when I've found something." "Thanks, Garcia."
You'd taken a shower as soon as you'd arrived home. The water was too hot and you'd scrubbed your skin too hard but getting out, you felt a slight bit better. Heavily disliking the way you still felt, you opted for a cup of Earl Grey tea with milk and sugar. Settling on the couch with a steaming cup in your hands, you tucked your legs beneath you and sighed.
Images of Mary's dead body were printed onto the inside of your eyelids. You still couldn't believe it. Your mind reeled as you tried to think of an explanation for it all. Whichever path you followed, you came up empty. You could not comprehend or imagine any reason of taking the life of an innocent person, especially in such a violent way. Luckily for you, you still didn't know the extent of the violence.
A familiar noise pulled you from your dark thoughts. Geoffrey had just jumped down from his cat tree. You watched him stretch and languidly walk over to you. He meowed once before jumping onto the couch, right next to you. You moved your legs so that you were sitting cross-legged and scratched his head. He purred in delight and pressed himself against you. He sniffed at your tea with an unimpressed look before climbing into your lap before letting himself flop down on his side, stretching out his appendages. You cooed as his pink toe-beans stretched too and laid a hand on his belly, scratching gently. The vibrations of his purrs had a calming effect on you. "Are you trying to make me forgive you for biting my ankle the other day when I wouldn't give you any more treats? You know Spencer says you're a bit overweight, I was just trying to get him to stop body-shaming you, my love..."
A few minutes later, you get a text from Spencer. About thirty minutes after that, you get a phone call from him. "Hey, would you mind coming to the station? It turns out you're the last person to have seen the victim."
"I'll do the cognitive interview." "Reid, I don't think that's a good idea." "Look, yes I'm invested, I know that. But I also know her and-" "Reid, no. This is the reason we such have procedures." "But I-" "Reid." Hotchner's tone translated finality. Spencer's shoulders sank in defeat. He had figured that if he had been the one conducting the interview, maybe it would have been less traumatic for you. He hated the idea of not being there for you, with you, during such a trying moment. He bit his bottom lip.
"I'll do it," volunteered Morgan. Reid felt slight comfort at that, Morgan was one of the few people he would entrust his life to. He could entrust you to him for the interview, even if he didn't like it. Hotchner nodded. "Reid, you work with Garcia, focus on finding other victims with the same MO to help build the profile." Reid nodded and went to find his colleagues.
When you entered the police station, it was almost like he could feel your presence. He came to find you straight away, not wanting to leave alone even for a second. "Hey." "Hey." Reid immediately pulled you in for a meaningful embrace, burying his face in your hair. The smell of your shampoo, conditionner and body wash were bliss to his nostrils. They were a promise that you were here, you were safe, you were okay. Morgan watched from afar, a small smile playing at his lips. He knew Reid, and the hug you exchanged was both too hasty and too tight to be anything casual. "Are you okay? I'm so sorry to have to make you come in, but they're going to do- well I wanted to do it but they wouldn't let me, so it's-"
A slightly older, very muscular and gentle man stepped forward, holding out his hand to you. You shook it. "I'm Agent Derek Morgan. I'm one of Spencer's colleagues. I'll be the one conducting the interview, seeing as there's a conflict of interest with you and Spencer. I hope you can understand that." You introduced yourself and looked at Spencer before answering Derek. "Yes, I understand, it's- it's not a problem." "Great, if you could just follow me, please?" You licked your lips and sent Spencer a look, which he answers with a nod of reassurance and a small smile, before following Derek.
"You can close your eyes if it makes you more comfortable." You were sat in an uncomfortable plastic chair. The light above you was ticking at uneven intervals and the room smelt of worry. You didn't know how you could get any more comfortable, but listening to Morgan's even, alto voice helped a bit. "Okay." You closed your eyes. "You told Agent Rossi that you crossed the victim somewhere around quarter to eleven. Is that correct?" "Uh, yes." "Where did you cross her?" "In the main hall." "Where were you going?" "Um, I had just been to the bathroom and I was heading to my Anglo-American Literary Survey class." "Okay, can you describe to me everything about the moment when you crossed the victim? What you saw, what you felt, smelled, heard? Was anything out of the ordinary?" You opened your eyes.
"Um, I'm sorry, but could you stop referring to Mary as the victim, please? She has a name, which is Mary Goldman, and a victim wasn't the only thing she was." Derek was slightly surprised at your comment but understood where you came from. Separating from the name was a way for profilers to gain some distance from the horrendous violence. Personally knowing the victim, you didn't have such luxury. "Of course, I apologise. What did you feel when you crossed Mary? Was anything out of place?"
You nodded in thanks and tried to bring yourself back to that moment. It seemed unreal, how such a small interaction suddenly held such importance. "O-Okay, uh, my hands are still a bit wet. There weren't any towels in the bathroom. I saw her after she saw me and we exchanged a smile. I thought she looked really pretty today, but I didn't tell her. We really don't know each other that well." "Okay, that's good. Was she wearing anything out of habit for her?" "Uhh, no, she was wearing a pleated skirt and a sweater vest. She often dresses like that, I don't know exactly why I thought she looked pretty. I guess she just looked happy. Nothing was out of the ordinary." "Good. Could you hear or smell anything?" "Yeah, well, there were the voices of other people in the hall. I can hear girls laughing. I smell Mary's perfume when she walks past me. She always wears the same one, it's Chanel, Mademoiselle Coco specifically, she told me once at a party."
"Okay, do you know where she's going?" "I- yeah, she's heading for her Behavioural Neuroscience class." "Is she walking in the right direction?" "Uh... Yes, yes, she is. She's not in too much of a hurry, though, she doesn't like the teacher." "So why is she heading there already, then? The class only starts at 11:30." "She likes to reread the material from the previous week before the class starts." "Why doesn't she like the teacher?" "No one does, all he does is read off his slides and he's a jerk when it comes to grading."
Morgan suppressed a smile at your comment. "Okay, thank you so much, Y/N, this was very helpful." "Was it? I didn't feel like-" "Yes, I promise you've just shared some crucial pieces of information." "O-Okay, if you say so."
All eyes were on Morgan as he entered the briefing room. He put his paper coffee cup down on the table and looked at Hotch. "Nothing was out of the ordinary. Mary was wearing habitual clothes and the same perfume she always wore. She was heading to the same class, as she did weekly, at the same time. My guess is this guy knew her routine and did a blitz attack. Y/N gave me the number of Mary's best friend, and according to her, Mary didn't have any guys in her life except for her dad and brother."
Hotchner nodded. Spencer couldn't help but feeling proud of you for being able to go through with the interview and to provide such useful information, too. He'd have to congratulate you when he got home. "Pretty boy and I found three similar victims in the last three years. They weren't connected to this case because they were in another university, just on the other side of the state line. Last year, three girls, university students, were killed, same MO, all disappeared for about three hours before being found dead in front of the university, they attended," Garcia spoke from the speaker. Spencer nodded in agreement to her words. "What did the police find back then?" asked Emily. "Nothing, they- uh, did all they could during the month that the three murders happened but after the third victim, the unsub stopped," Spencer answered. "Stopped?" Emily repeated, brows drawn together in confusion. "Yeah, he just- stopped killing and disappeared. Our best guess is that something triggered him then and that the same thing triggered him now."
"Oh, another thing," Garcia sounded reluctant to share the information she had, "I looked at all the victims' pictures and... well, I'll just send them to you, that'll be easier."
Spencer's blood ran ice cold as he stared at the four girls on the screen. They all looked exactly like you.
Taglist : (all those of you who wanted a part two <3) @princess-ofthe-pages @usuck @theylovemelody @empressgraytea @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx @lillianacristina
#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid x you#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid fic#Spencer reid#spencer reid fanfiction#dr spencer reid#criminal minds x you#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds
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A New Face Pt.3
pairing: Tara Carpenter x Reader
summary: You and Tara finally went out on a date and feelings are revealed.
word count: 2453
Pt.1 | Pt.2 | Pt.4
a/n: Hey all, I hope ya'll enjoyed this last part for this one-shot. I tried putting in more details so lmk your thoughts. I also made Sam a little laid back for this part since I honestly didn't know how to make her intimidating without ruining it lol. Anyways, I'm always open to feedback!! Thanks for all the love and support! (p.s. i got motivation for the flower scene from tasm where peter gave gwen her flowers hehehe so just imagine that because i still have no idea how to add a collage of pictures here)
Tara was walking back and forth the apartment while waiting for you to pick her up. She had suggested on going to yours instead but you insisted on picking her up for some reason. Sam was just observing her sister roaming around the living room, amused by her antics. She was picking her fingernails and fixing her hair every 15 seconds. It was 3.45 p.m and you were supposed to be here at least 15 minutes ago. Her mind was going through a ridiculous amount of scenarios as fast as the speed of light at this point. Did you suddenly decide to ditch her or realised that she wasn’t good enough for you?
“Tara, relax. You’re freaking out so much- I can see your brain working overtime,” Sam simply stated, laying on the couch while rewatching Modern Family for the fifth time. Just as Tara wanted to give a snarky remark, she heard the doorbell rang. If she was wearing a heart rate monitor, she was sure it would give her a warning about her sudden heightened heart rate, assuming she was getting a heart attack. She looked at herself once again and fixed her hair after the 55th time before opening the door.
There you were. Looking all cute and flustered while holding a bouquet of flowers and a posy on one hand while balancing two motorcycle helmets on the other. While she appreciated and blushed and the gesture, she can’t seem the ignore the fact that the bouquet and posy is a little… lopsided.
“Hey, I’m sorry I’m late. I went to buy this for you but it’s a little harder when you’re riding while holding it, which explains the snapped stem for one of them…Oh! And I bought a small one for Sam, if she doesn’t mind, of course.” You explained with a little blush from the awkwardness. “How embarrassing, this is your first date and you’ve already messed up. Nice one, Y/N.” You thought, mentally slapping yourself for forgetting that it’s nearly impossible to hold a bouquet of flowers while riding and not mess it up. While you were having your own crisis, Tara was in her own head too.
“Seriously? Is there even a flaw flowing in their bones? ” Tara pondered internally while struggling to put out actual words, holding onto both the bouquet and posy, when Sam came to rescue after hearing the painfully awkward one-sided conversation.
“Wow, nice job, Y/N. A liiitttle crushed, but I like the effort. You’re own my good side, for now. Just make sure you bring her home by 9..or I’ll hunt you down.” Sam stated sarcastically, enjoying how you squirmed after her statement. She’ll never tell you this, but she appreciated the gesture and the thought of buying her a small bouquet. The few people Tara had tried dating has never thought of that, so she really meant it when she said you’d “earned a point”. She was impressed surprisingly, and it was hard to impress THE Sam Carpenter.
“Y-Yes ma’am” You replied with faux confidence, even though both the sisters could tell you were intimidated, rightfully so. Tara rolled her eyes at her sister’s statement and dragged you out of the apartment, after placing her flowers nicely by the table beside the entrance, of course.
“I’m sorry about Sam, she can be a bit.. Much.”
“Don’t worry about it, I have to admit I almost peed my pants though.” You joked, trying to ease the tension so thick that you could cut it with a knife. Your attempt was successful when Tara giggled effortlessly, while staring at you with those big doe eyes.
-
The engine roared beneath them, vibrating through Tara’s body as she clung to Y/N’s back. The cool evening air brushed against her face, the city lights streaking by in a blur. The smell of gasoline and fresh rain mixed with the earthy scent of Y/N’s jacket, and Tara could feel her pulse racing in time with the bike’s engine.
Tara knew she would be your ‘backpack’ as you informed her about riding your bike for the date a few days prior. That doesn’t mean she didn’t freak out when you went up a needle on your speedometer though. She was hugging you so tightly around your waist, it could almost suffocate you. You said you didn’t mind it though, and Tara took every opportunity to hug you tighter, and shamelessly run her hands from your back to your shoulders, caressing and admiring the flexed muscles from handling the two-wheeled vehicle every chance she had, enjoying your warmth that contrasted with the chilly weather.
Her heart was pounding as she felt the warmth of Y/N's back against her chest, the gentle hum of the motorcycle beneath them. She noticed how her grip tightened instinctively, wanting to hold on to something solid as her thoughts swirled in a mess. “Is this real? Is this really happening?"
After finding a parking spot near the theaters, you helped Tara with getting off your bike seeing as she couldn’t even reach the floor if she wanted to. You assisted with taking her helmet off and fixing her hair, pushing her messy bangs away and tucking it behind her ears absenmindedly without her needing to ask for help. Tara wanted to take you right then and there. “Who cares if it’s public indecency? Both of us are hot.” Tara thought. She had never met a more thoughtful and respectful person before she laid her eyes on you; You really knew how to please a girl.
-
You proceeded to lead her to the entrance of the theatre, which was filled with people that was keen on watching the premier of The Terrifier 3. Tara was buzzing with excitement, practically hopping up and down and effortlessly having a conversation with you after easing her nerves, while waiting on your turns to get some snacks and get seated.
The film was amazing. It was almost concerning with how Tara didn’t even bat an eyelid during the more gory scenes, but you were glad she enjoyed it. You mentally gave yourself a pat on the back after successfully making her glee and rambling about the film afterwards. You both decided to walk to the restaurant you were having dinner at, since it was only a few blocks away. You couldn’t ignore the fact that both your and Tara’s hands kept brushing against each other. You finally made the courage to hold her hands while she was still rambling about the show, your heart leaped when she interlocked your fingers together and continued talking, not commenting on the sudden act of affection.
Meanwhile, Tara was so damn glad you made the move first because she was overthinking too much to make the first move. She tried to act as nonchalant as possible, making it seem like your gesture didn’t really affect her even though she had her heart in her mouth. When you both arrived at the restaurant, you had to wait for a while to be assigned a table. She finally made the courage to let go of your hands and to hold onto your ridiculously toned biceps, running her hands up and down your arm. She was tracing her fingers on the outline of your tattoo, making you shiver.
“You never told me this, but what’s the meaning behind your tattoo? I mean- It’s fine if it’s personal and you don’t wanna talk about it, though!” Tara stated with a slight panic in her voice. The last thing she wanted to do was make you feel uncomfortable and share something so intimate to you. You found it cute that she was trying to be mindful and considerate.
Tara was tracing your tattoo, which was full of different designs, mainly two dragons being intertwined and a date underneath it. “It’s fine- I don’t mind, really. It symbolizes the Chinese zodiac calendar. My mum and dad was born in the year of the dragon. I initially didn’t think of having a tattoo, but I considered it to honor them. They died a few years ago from a car crash, which explains the date beneath it.” You explained your tattoo in detail, including all the different strokes and lines on your hands.
Tara wanted to cradle your head and hold you tightly, hiding you away from society after hearing that your parents are gone. It must’ve been tough handling life alone in your twenties. “At least I had Sam,” Tara thought. She gave you her condolences and you took her hand and kissed it, specifically where her scar is, before shrugging it off with a smile, not wanting to ruin the mood of the date.
-
Dinner went by quickly, with Tara having a glass of wine (not you though, you knew you had the responsibility to send her home and you didn’t want Sam to kill you either) and getting to know each other more. Tara’s indication of having too much to drink is that she often hiccups, and that’s when you knew you had to pay the bill and send her home. On your way back to your bike, you and Tara were giggling and she kept trying to squeeze your face cheeks together, with your hand swatting her away. You decided to make a pitstop at a small bodega and buy a bottled water for Tara, attempting to sober her up, knowing she can’t ride on the bike being that drunk. You slowed your pace, allowing Tara to recover while interlocking your hands. She was effortlessly flirting with you, probably from the liquid courage she was sobering up from.
You finally reached your bike, with having an intention of helping Tara putting on her helmet when she hugged you, her arms wrapping around your neck and leaning her chin against your chest, staring at you. “I really, really like you y’know. Like, like-like you.” She stated, staring at you with her brown doe eyes that resembled a deer.
Tara’s heart skipped again, but this time, it wasn’t from nerves. It was from a sudden realization—this was different. She hadn’t felt this kind of pull in a long time. And maybe—maybe—she wasn’t just hoping Y/N would kiss her. Maybe she was ready for it. And when the moment came, she wasn’t going to hold back. You softly chuckled, your cheeks tinting slightly at her sudden confession. “I’m glad you like me Tara. I really, really like you too,” you reciprocated and hugged her waist, embracing the intimate moment. Both of you leaned in, nose touching each other before you decided to lean away; Making Tara whine and roll her eyes.
You really wanted to kiss her, but you didn’t want it to be in a random street where some creeps can be watching you both kiss for their own entertainment. Tara huffed in frustration and wore her (your) helmet, stubbornly trying to get on the bike without needing you assistance (she needed it, she was practically falling off that damn bike if it wasn’t for you). You softly chuckled at her act before wearing yours and turned on the bike, the engine growling. Throughout the ride, you knew Tara was still upset at you since she held her hands on your shoulders instead of your waist.
After reaching her block, you followed her up to her apartment, making sure that she’s safe. Tara was being grumpy, having her arms crossed which prevented you to hold her hand. After reaching her apartment, she went to open the door, trying to enter before you had to chance to talk to her. “Tara- wait, give me a mi-“
“I don’t get you, Y/N. First you bring me out to this date, held my hands and now you don’t want to kiss me? Are you serious-“ Tara’s blabber was disrupted when you grabbed her by her cheeks and leaned in for a kiss, lips colliding.
Tara melted in your hands like putty and wrapped her arms around your neck, pulling you in and craning your neck, trapping you in her spell. You could taste her cherry lip gloss, secretly hoping that you get to kiss her more often to get accustomed to the taste. She lets out little sighs in between the kisses to take a breath, before pulling you in again for more. You bit her lip which made her gasp, having the opportunity to slip your tongue in, making her moan and kiss you fiercely and fight with you tongue to tongue.
You pulled away gently, making her whine at the sudden end of the passionate makeup. You gave her tiny pecks and chaste kisses which made her giggle before you pulled away. “I’m sorry I made you feel that way, Tara. I just wanted it to be private, I can’t let the creeps down the street see me kissing the girl I like,” You confessed, blushing heavily now that Tara’s attention is all on you.
“Aw, you sap. I don’t mind letting them watch, at least they know you’re all mine now.” You gave another kiss, when the door opened abruptly.
“Well, well, well, look who’s grinning like a cat that got the cream.” Sam smirks, glancing between Tara and Y/N, making both blush out of embarrassment.
“So, did you two finally make it official, or am I gonna need to take out the old shower and have a little chit chat with Y/N? I know you have no problem with public declaration of ownership.” She gives Tara a teasing look, knowing full well that her sister’s not shy when it comes to flirting. “Shut up, Sam. I’m fine.” She rolls her eyes but it’s clear that she’s still caught up in the moment.
Sam shrugs dramatically, leaning closer to Y/N, lowering her voice with mock seriousness.
“You better keep your hands to yourself, or I will find out where you live, and I’ll have a serious talk with you. That’s your warning.” She threatens, almost breaking character but keeping it cool.
Y/N, clearly caught off guard but managing a nervous chuckle, nods quickly. “Yes ma’am. I’ll take good care of her, I swear.” They look at Tara, a little embarrassed, but there’s warmth in their eyes. They’re obviously not intimidated, but they know enough to respect Sam’s warning.
“Good answer, Y/N. Good answer.” She flashes a grin, pretending to be serious before stepping back from the door. ”And for the record, I’m definitely expecting a full play-by-play tomorrow, Tara. I’ve got all kinds of questions…”
Tara shakes her head, but there’s no hiding the smile on her face now. She turns back to Y/N, giving them a peck before slipping back inside her apartment with a soft click.
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Another Love | Part 6
Summary: you've been hopelessly in love with Han since you were children. One night you confess your feelings to him.
Genre: angst, smut, fluff
Words count: 8,416
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
Warnings: angst, hickeys, unprotected piv(don't do this at home), dirty talk(I think that's it)
A/N: I'm finally here with the last part of Another Love. This fic means the whole world to me, it's the story that made me grow a lot as a writer and was the first story that I thought "woah this is really good" when I finished the first part. I hope you all like this last part, I poured my whole heart in this and I really want you all to feel what I tried to convey with my words. Thank you for all the comments, reblogs and feedback, that's what made me motivated to finish this fic.
Also, I wanna thank my best friend @baby-yongbok for bearing my whines and rumbles about this story. Thank you baby for helping me through the difficult times 🫶🏻
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You may have regretted telling Han that you would give him a chance. How soon? As soon as the sentence left your mouth. Why? Because now, you are going to have to face all the demons you kept inside of you for all these years.
While having an unrequited love, you had a motto: if you don’t get too delusional, it's going to hurt less. So every single time, when your mind started wandering through those dirty thoughts, you made sure to stop yourself. However, now it’s not a one sided love anymore and you’re honestly afraid of what that means. The furthest thing you thought about doing with Jisung, was a kiss and even that left you hot and bothered. Now, you are thinking about other things, like having sex and that’s something you never did before for the sake of your sanity.
It doesn’t help that Jisung is a menace and surprisingly you didn't know about it. 15 years of friendship and just about now did you find out that this man has no shame.
Things were going pretty normal, he had been treating you like always so things didn't seem to have changed much and that gave you some peace of mind, afterall, he was always affectionate to you.
However, little by little, you started noticing some things. Like, walking around the house shirtless like he wants you to look and unsurprisingly that’s exactly what you do. Every fucking time, you feel like you'll explode and in your defense, it's really, really hard not to look. He shows up wearing nothing but sweatpants and you try with all your willpower to look anywhere but him but in the end you can't help but look. Honestly, it's impossible and you know he's doing it on purpose because you get glimpses of his condescending smile whenever he catches you watching. You wish you could punch him in the face but then he’ll know he has won and you can’t let that happen.
Jisung is trying to prove a point, is it risky? Yes, but he's not entirely confident about winning you over. Even though you said you would give him a chance, every time he tries to get close to you it seems like you push him away and that scares him, he’s afraid you will change your mind and he can’t have that. So he’s trying to show you that he’s the full package.
He's good to you and funny but that you already knew, you have been friends for a long time. So he wants to show you a new side of him, something you only get to see from a boyfriend.
After days of hesitation, one night he finally makes his move. You’re in the kitchen, trying to get something on the top shelf but you can't seem to reach it. Jisung sees that and a brilliant idea pops on his head, you can only hear his footsteps coming behind you and in the split of a second, you feel the warmth of his body almost touching yours when he leans over you to get the bowls you wanted.
That’s the moment you lose your mind, years of restraint ending in a simple touch of his. Actually, the fact that he’s not even touching you makes everything worse.
“What do you think you’re doing?” You ask, not turning around to look at him.
“Helping you, what else?” He answers, voice shaking a bit with the proximity. You can feel his breathing on the top of your head.
“I didn’t ask for help”, you clarify, not to sound rude but just trying to control yourself.
Unexpectedly, you feel his hands lightly holding your hips and in a quick move he turns you around, caging you against the kitchen cabinet and you release a shaky breath, heart beating like a hammer on your chest.
“You’re pushing me away”, he points out, “I won’t be able to win you over if you don’t let me”
You stare at him for a minute, he’s looking at you with puppy eyes, making you sigh.
“I’m sorry, I just have to get used to it”, you say, “I thought you would never like me so this change is kinda overwhelming”, you clarify.
“Shall we go on a date, then?” He proposes, taking a step back, looking at you hopefully. You nod, earning a big smile from him. “Okay, be ready tomorrow at 8 am”, he tells you, making you frown.
“What are we gonna do so early in the morning?” You ask, confused, making him shrug.
“It's a surprise”, he says, “but I can tell you that you should dress comfortably”
That's all he says, turning around and leaving you alone in the kitchen. Why does it seem like you just fell right into his trap? Like he already had everything planned and you acted exactly how he wanted you to?
There's nothing much you can do now since you already accepted the date, so you forget about what you wanted to do in the kitchen and go to your room, preparing a handbag with anything you'll possibly need.
He's up before you, waiting with breakfast and a warm cup of coffee. While you two eat you just know he's dying to tell you where you're going but he also doesn't want to ruin the surprise.
You realize it's going to be a trip when he drives out of the city, giving you the task of taking care of the playlist. You scroll through his songs, some from the boys, some from the artists he likes, you add some that you like, until you see the seaside.
“Are we going to the beach?” You ask, eyes sparkling. You missed this place so much.
“We are”, he smiles, stretching his hand to grab yours, interlacing your fingers. You feel your face hot, sure that you're blushing but you glance at him, seeing Jisung stare at the road with that shit eating grin on his lips.
“Don’t you think you're being too much?” You ask, trying to hide the smile that's trying to escape your lips.
“Not really”, he shrugs.
You and Jisung would always come to the beach when you were younger, it would be usually on your vacation but when you two were feeling down or something upsetting happened, you'd catch a bus and come here. You'd just sit in the sand, watching as the waves came and went, as the ocean reflected the color of the sky. It didn’t matter if it was winter or summer, that was always the place to make you feel better.
Jisung parks in front of a restaurant, inviting you to come out to eat and you look around, seeing how much it has changed since the last time you went there. When you moved to Seoul for school, you stopped traveling farther than your parents house. Even though you didn’t really need to save money because your family always supported you, you like to have savings for an emergency, so you had to give up on luxuries like traveling too far. Also, as you got older it became more difficult to stay close to your best friend in a place that was meant for just the two of you, every time you would go to the beach with him, you’d feel the urge to confess and that couldn’t happen, you were not ready yet. So you spent the last few years avoiding coming to your favorite place.
You were planning to come alone one day, when you had gotten over Jisung but life seems to be playing with you and now you’re there with the man you love and he’s the one holding himself not to confess to you right then and there. Not because it’s a secret, but because he doesn’t want to pressure you more than he already feels like he’s doing.
“I can’t believe we came all this way to eat spicy fried chicken”, he tells you as soon as you order your favorite.
“Stop”, you pout, “you know this place has the best chicken wings in the entire planet”
“Have you ever tried all the chicken wings on the planet?” He teases, making you roll your eyes.
“I don’t need to, I just know this one is the best”, you argue back, crossing your arms.
He stares at you with an idiotic smile, biting on his bottom lip trying not to laugh at you.
“Maybe on our next tour you can come with us?” he says, feeling his face warming up, “I’ll accept your opinion only after you try the fried chicken from two other countries”
Jisung looks around, trying to hide his blushing or his pout, anxiously waiting for your answer but you can see his ears as red as tomatoes.
“Maybe”, that’s the only thing you say, holding yourself from giggling.
You and Jisung take a walk when you finish your food, needing some exercise after eating too much. You take your sneakers off, feeling the sand hugging your feet and the cold water making you shiver when the waves finally get to you.
“Remember when I had to go on tour for the first time?” Jisung asks, glancing at you and you nod. “You got so upset that I would go away for an entire month, that you disappeared, your mom wanted to kill you”, he chuckles and you sigh, remembering that time.
You were 20 and had barely settled down in Seoul when he had to go away. You were upset that you would have to stay all by yourself since classes had already started but you pretended like everything was alright.
“I didn’t really disappear, that’s an exaggeration”, you scoff, “I just forgot to mention that I wouldn’t come home that night”
“Well, that sounds like disappearing to me”, he argues back, “and it did to our parents too”
“The point?” You try changing the subject, not really wanting to admit that you were in the wrong.
“The point is, that I found you seated on that rock right there”, he points to the place you were walking to. “You were a mess, you cried and were already sick because you didn’t bring a coat and it was already night”, he scolds you, making you roll your eyes.
“And?” You push again, starting to feel guilty again about that day.
“I should have realized your feelings for me sooner”, Jisung bites on his bottom lip, fidgeting with his hands. “Everyone but me knew and you had to struggle on your own. I’m sorry”
You feel tears brimming on your eyes, you don’t want him to pity you.
“I never wanted an apology from you”, you explain, “I was always aware that you didn’t have to like me back. It was not fair of me to expect you to feel something you didn’t. That’s why I never told you… I mean, until I couldn’t hold it back anymore”, you chuckle awkwardly. “Even if you had never liked me back, I wouldn’t want you to apologize to me”
Jisung pouts, nodding in agreement.
“But I’m not apologizing for not liking you back”, he say, “I’m apologizing because you struggled because of me and if I had realized it sooner maybe you wouldn’t have had to-”
“And maybe you wouldn’t have fallen in love with me too”, you blurt out, hand flying to your mouth as soon as the sentence left your mouth, making a big smile show up in his lips.
“Am I hearing this correctly?” He teases, seeing you blush. “Did you just admit that you are satisfied that I’m the one in love now?”
“Why, of course”, you bite back a smile. “You deserve a bit of a punishment for dating so much in your life”, you shake your head in disapproval.
“There’s nothing wrong with falling in love”, he teases, laughing when you roll your eyes.
He’s right, you were in love with him for a long time and there’s nothing wrong with that. However, for some reason, that makes your heart ache and an awful thought appears in your mind, making you stop on your tracks, glancing at him and staring for a whole minute before speaking up again.
“For how long are you going to be in love with me though?” You ask, letting your insecurities speak but you can’t help but think about that. “Your relationships didn’t last that long, are you sure you won’t just fall out of love with me in a bit?”
That makes his smile disappear, his brows knit together in a frown, pure confusion on his complexion.
“I- you’re different”, he says like it is the simplest thing in the world.
“What’s so different about me?” You push, trying to understand him, trying to look for some reassurance.
“I don’t think I ever felt like this for anyone before”, he explains. “I was never the jealous type, but when I saw you with Jeongho I wanted to explode and my chest hurt so much. I think of you every minute of the day, I was never like this before. I want to show you places, I want to take you to eat different foods and see your reaction when you taste them. You know you’re just like Hyunjin right? You do that face when you eat something delicious”, he smiles, “I want to be the one to make you smile and I want to be the one who’s there when you need to cry. I want to be your best friend, but I don’t want to be just your best friend, I want to have it all. All of you”
You feel like all the air from your body just decided to come out, you can’t breathe and at the same time you feel like you’re breathing too much — too fast, but when you see his dark eyes watching you, waiting for you to say something — anything, its like your body move on its on and in the split of a second your lips are on his.
You always dreamed about kissing Jisung. You always imagined how it would be to kiss him. But not even your greatest dreams came close to reality. His lips are soft just like cotton and warm like the hot chocolate you drink on a cold day. His body pressed against yours is something you never thought you needed but now that you have it it's something you don’t think you can let go.
His hands cup your face, fingers digging on your skin like you’re going to run away if he holds you with less strength. He’s shy, just pressing his lips against yours, until it's too much for him to handle and his tongue comes into your mouth, making you sigh. Jisung's hands trail gentle caresses down your arms, leaving a trail of warmth behind and sliding around your waist and pressing himself more against you.
You are completely lost in his lips, not sure what to do next, it's like it's your first time kissing someone. You grab his shirt, trying to get a hold on something, trying not to fall because your legs are almost giving out and your chest feels like exploding. When you two need to breathe, he pulls away from you, looking at you breathlessly, waiting for you to explain yourself or at least give him another kiss. But when he sees doubt in your eyes, he hugs you, squeezing you against him again.
“Please, don’t run away now”, he pleads. “I don’t think I can handle it, not after this”
“Jisung, I-”, you hesitate, trying to say the right thing.
“You don’t have to give me an answer right now”, he assures you. “I won’t expect anything from you until you are sure about your decision, so don’t worry about it”, he says.
“Okay”, you nod.
The fact that it seems like your feelings didn’t change at all, scares you. How could you try so hard to get over him but still feel the same? If he hadn’t come around to like you, would you have struggled your whole life with your unrequited love? It didn’t happen but the ‘what if’ is haunting you and you can’t give him an answer until this feeling goes away.
The trip back home is quiet, not as awkward as you thought it would be but Jisung seems lost in thoughts and you are not very different. You don’t know why you keep letting all these intrusive thoughts win over your mind, if it was before your confession, you’d jump in his arms at the mere mention of him liking you back, so why is it so different now? Why are you so hesitant?
“Do you want pizza?” He asks, as soon as you enter Seoul again.
“Yeah”, you nod, looking at him.
Jisung changed too, he’s treating you the same as he always did but it seems different somehow, you just can’t quite grasp what changed. He looks more mature, like something switched inside of him and that makes you a bit nervous. You’re not so familiar with this Jisung, you can’t predict what he’s gonna do next or what he’s thinking. Your best friend doesn’t look just like your best friend anymore and maybe that’s the whole point. If things stayed the same would it feel like you were dating? Would you understand that you don’t have to hide your feelings anymore? That you can kiss him and be jealous of him? If things stayed the same, would you let yourself love him freely?
“So she kissed you”, Chan points out, eyes squeezed, trying to make sense of the situation, “and she hasn’t talked about it since?”
“Yeah”, Jisung pouts, “but in her defense, I told her I didn’t need an answer immediately”
“And that was your mistake”, Hyunjin says, “you have anxiety, you always need answers immediately”
“Well, you’re not wrong”, Jisung sighs, “but I didn’t want her to feel pressured. Especially since it looked like she was about to run away if I said anything abrupt”.
“I guess she’s just confused”, Chan tries to help, “but the fact that she kissed you is a good sign”
“You think so?” Jisung looks at his older friend with puppy eyes, hopeful.
“Yeah, of course”, Chan chuckles.
“You know what?” Changbin comes in from the kitchen, he’s been listening to the whole story but didn’t say a thing until now. “You should do something romantic for her”
“Like what?” Jisung asks.
“Think about something that would be touching, something that has to do with your story together”, Chan advises, making the youngest think.
Jisung frowns, there's something that comes to mind but would you like that? Until now, he has tried to be subtle in his ways of approaching you. He wakes up earlier than you everyday and makes you eat before you go to class. He's always home when you come back at night, waiting with snacks and a movie for you two to watch together. You have been discovering a new side of him, even though you thought you knew everything about your best friend, but now Jisung watches you with heart eyes.
Would you like it if he was more romantic? He’s not even sure if you’re into that kind of thing, the boyfriends you had never made big gestures like that and you didn’t seem to care. Would you like it if it's him doing it? Well, it doesn’t hurt to try.
“Okay, I think I know what to do”, Jisung decides.
You still haven't given an answer to Jisung and that's making you feel bad, what's holding you right now? You know he likes you, but what if things don't work out, will you be able to keep being friends after all that?
To take your mind out of that for a bit, you finally graduate, after what it felt like ages. You poured all your blood, sweat and tears in the years that you spent in college, now you're finally free.
Jisung's parents and yours came to the city for your graduation celebration. You organized a dinner in a good restaurant and the night was so much fun, you laughed till your stomach hurt and your friends brought up all your embarrassing stories through all the years you spent in college.
The morning after you had trouble even opening your eyes, any light was too much and your eyes refused to open. You hear a few knocks on the door of your room, making you groan, telling the person — Jisung probably, to enter.
“You should get ready”, he says, making you frown, eyes still closed. “Don't pretend that you're still sleeping, it's afternoon”, he whines.
“I'm not pretending, my eyes can't take this much light”, you explain, you shouldn't have drank so much.
Jisung walks past you, going to the window and closing the blinds.
“Now you have no excuses”, he teases, watching as you flutter your eyes open slowly.
“Why do I need to get ready, though?” You ask, sitting down.
“We are going out”
“We are?”
“Yes, so get ready”, he informs you, walking past you in the direction of the door and leaving with no further explanation. What's this guy planning now?
You get up, grab a towel and a change of clothes and go to take a shower, knowing that arguing won't take you anywhere.
Jisung is waiting for you in the car, a cup of coffee and a sandwich waiting for you.
“Shall we?” He asks, turning on the engine when you enter the car and close the door.
“Couldn't we have had breakfast inside?” You ask, biting on the sandwich.
“It's not a breakfast if it's already afternoon”, he rolls his eyes, “I ate a long time ago and we are already late”
“Late for what?” You enquiry, sipping on the coffee.
“It's a surprise”, he grins, eyes focused on the road.
You sigh, knowing that he won't tell you, so you just finish eating while watching the scenario change, buildings turning into threes and farms.
“Don't you know how to plan dates in the city?” You ask, making him laugh.
“I do, but I wanted to do something specific on this date and I had a bit of trouble finding it”, he tells you.
The sun is already starting to set when Jisung parks in front of a school, making you from, what kind of date is this? You ask, trying to understand, until you see a crowd.
You get out, walking by yourself while Jisung locks the car, hearing his footsteps after you a few seconds later.
“What's this?” You ask, when you see the booths spread around the campus and the families and students walking around.
“A school festival”, he smiles, watching as you turn to look at him, confusion in your face. “A little bird told me that you found out about your feelings for me right around the time I took Haneul to the school festival on elementary school”, he bites on his bottom lip, “and you were there to witness my first date, even though you liked me”, he sighs, “so I thought that maybe I could make it up for that time by bringing you to a school festival, just me and you”, he explains, making your heart skip a bit. You never thought Jisung could be this romantic, you never knew you liked this kind of romantic stuff either, but the way your heart is beating makes you think that you do.
“I- Jisung I-”, you try to say but you can't form a coherent sentence, making him smile.
“Let's go, I got a lot of prizes to win for you”, he informs, stretching his hand in your direction so you can hold it and you do, you hold his hand without a second thought, ignoring his red ears and how hot your cheeks are.
You walk around the place, going to every booth, watching the performances and eating to your heart's content. Jisung is giving you food like his life depends on it, it's a mission of his to make you eat everything you set your eyes on and when you can't finish he does it for you, but he wants you to try everything.
“How are we supposed to carry all this?” You ask, arms full of the plushies he earned you.
“Like we are doing right now”, he answers, as if he has not been dropping the ones he's carrying all the time.
“You know the children must hate you, right?”
“It's not my fault if I have the power of love to help me win the big prizes”, he winks at you, making you feel your cheeks hot.
“Let's go, it's already late”, you tell him, walking faster in the direction of the car so Jisung won't notice how flustered you got.
You stuff the plushies in the backseat, feeling a few drops of rain fall on your face when you close the door, making you run to the passenger seat to escape. Jisung comes right after you, starting the car and driving back to the road.
“Can you check the forecast? I did it in the morning and there was nothing about rain”, he asks, the rain outside getting stronger.
“Sure”, you take your phone out of your pocket, searching for news about the weather. “It seems like it's one of those rains that start out of nowhere”, you explain, “and it's not going to stop any time soon”, you watch the dark road, little to no lighting.
“Should we look for a hotel, then?” Jisung asks, making you turn to him with wide eyes. “Hey! Don't get any weird ideas, we are going to separate rooms”, he informs you, covering his chest like you have the dirtiest mind.
“I didn't say anything”, you retort, crossing your arms.
“Hmph, but you thought”, he murmurs. “Can you look for a place nearby?” He asks but you were already doing that.
There's a nice hotel a few minutes from where you are and when you call them, they tell you there are rooms available but when you get there things are different.
“So… they only have a room”, you say, fidgeting.
“It's fine, I can sleep on the floor”, he shrugs, pressing for the elevator to come to you.
“Actually there are separate beds, so there's no need”, you chuckle, seeing his ears turning red.
“Great, that's great. My back appreciates it”, he rumbles, flustered like an idiot making you laugh.
The rain seems to get worse outside, now adding thunder and lightning to the chaos. The room is comfortable and clean, there's a bathroom and a minibar so you can eat something.
You take your coat, throwing it in one of the beds and walk to the window, closing the blinds and shivering watching the lightning outside. Jisung opens the fridge, looking inside to see if there’s anything interesting to eat and grabbing a bottle of water.
“Do you want it?” He asks, making you turn to look at him and nod, waiting as he walks to you, handing you the bottle.
“I think we should get to sleep soon, so we can go back early tomorrow”, you say, gulping the water and Han nods, finishing his.
You two get on your beds, it's weird to sleep in the same room as him after so long. You turn your back to him, hoping that not seeing his face is going to make it easier for you to sleep.
However, a thunder rumbles so loudly sounding like it's right by your room's window, making you jump.
“Jeez”, you squeal, covering your face with the blanket.
“Are you alright?” Jisung's voice sounds behind you, making you turn to look at him. He's staring at you, brows knit together in worry.
“I'm fine”, you tell him, even though you're not so sure.
“I know you're afraid of storms”, he sighs, biting on his bottom lip. “Do you want me to lay down with you? So you won't be so scared?”
You feel heat spreading all over you just by thinking about sleeping in the same bed as Jisung. You slept together a hundred times before so it shouldn't be so embarrassing to do it once more, but you're not sure if you're going to be able to behave if you go there.
“There's no need”, you tell him, closing your eyes and trying to fall asleep when another thunder sounds out there, seeming so much louder than before and making you jump again. “You know what? I think I'll accept your offer”, you say, watching as Jisung sits down, grabbing his pillow and blanket, standing up to move to your bed. He lays down so far from you that he's almost falling from the mattress.
“I won't bite you”, you roll your eyes, turning to look at him, facing the middle of the bed.
“I wouldn't mind if you did”, he chuckles, “I just don't want to make you uncomfortable”, he says and even with the darkness of the room, you can see his cheeks reddening when he gets closer.
“You won't make me uncomfortable, it's okay”, you put your arm down your pillow and the other one on top, your hand beneath your head, watching as Jisung fidgets, trying to find a good position without touching you. “Do I make you uncomfortable?” You enquiry, seeing as his eyes widen and he shakes his head frantically.
“Not at all, you're the person whom I feel the most comfortable with”, he confesses, making your cheeks burn and something more spread through your whole body.
Maybe things need to change. What then, if things don't workout? If you were going to think that way, you should have never confessed to your best friend in the first place. You decided to risk it all when you told him about your feelings and now he's the one pouring himself to you, waiting for you to choose him once more.
“If I asked you to kiss me now, would you?” You ask, gulping down, trying to stay calm even though your heart just turned into a hammer in your chest.
“Can I?” He asks, hopeful, watching as you nod slowly. His hands cup your face and in the split of a second his lips are on yours, his fingers caress your cheeks delicately and he holds you like you're the most fragile thing in the whole world.
This kiss is so much better, kissing him while being certain about what you're feeling is delightful. His kiss is still soft and sweet, yearning and hungry as if he's been waiting for this for a long time.
You slide your hands down his shirt, going to his back and digging your nails on his skin. He sighs on your lips, letting a little groan escape his mouth. Jisung's hands go down from your face too, sliding to your waist and hips to pull you closer to him, pressing your body against his.
When you two find it too difficult to breathe, he pulls away from you, trailing kisses down your jaw and your neck, biting on your soft skin, making you moan. Your eyes widen in embarrassment but Jisung looks at you with dark eyes, licking on his lips.
“You sound so good, please don't hold back”, he pleads, going back to marking you. “Can I take it off?” He asks, grabbing the hem of your shirt, making your whole face burn as you nod, sitting down so he can pull the piece of fabric out of your body. He watches as your chest rises and falls, you lay back down, looking around extremely flustered but he can't take his eyes out of you. You're the prettiest woman he ever got to know and he's so in love with you that it feels like his heart is about to explode.
Jisung leans closer to your face, kissing you again as you let your hands wander through his body, sliding them to his hips and digging your nails on his skin, pulling him against you, feeling his length pressing on your thigh.
“You're so pretty”, he sings praises as he kisses down your collarbone, reaching your breast and his hands go to your back, undoing your bra.
“Stop staring”, you feel your cheeks burning with the way his eyes wander through your chest.
“I can't, you're too beautiful”, he answers, leaning down do suck on your hardened peaks.
“Ji-Jisung”, your hands fly to his hair as you press him against your breasts, “that's so good”, you sigh, feeling his tongue circling around your nipple.
Jisung starts humping against your clothed core, making you gasp and groan as your hands cup his face, bringing him back to kiss you. He doesn't stop the movements of his hips, rubbing his hard cock and sighing on your lips.
“Can I eat you out?” He asks, biting on your bottom lip as he pulls away from you.
His eyes are dark like you have never seen, like he's in a daze but the reality is that Jisung is too drunk on your scent and your warmth to think about how lustful he may look at that moment.
“How much do you want it?” You tease, making him sigh, looking at you with puppy eyes, his hands going to the waistband of your pants, pulling it slightly away from your hips and playing with it, wanting to pull it down but waiting for your permission.
“I want to taste you so bad, you have no idea”, he bites on his bottom lip, “I feel like I might die if I don't feel your pussy clenching around my tongue right now”, he pleads, making your hips involuntarily thrust against his shaft, making him groan, “fuck. This is torture, please let me taste you, please”, he begs.
“I like it when you beg”, you try to pretend you're not dying to have his mouth down on you, “go ahead”
In a second Jisung is pulling your pants down, your panties going with it, he has no time to waste. He rushes to fit in between your legs, setting them over his shoulders as he kisses your inner thighs, trailing kisses closer and closer to your aching cunt.
“I can feel the scent of your arousal”, he teases, taking a deep breath, “You smell so good, baby”, he completes, making you groan in embarrassment.
“What are you, a dog?” You retort, trying to ignore the burning on your face.
“Only for you”, he grins before diving in on your pussy. Jisung attaches his mouth to your clit, the warmth of his tongue spreading all over your body and you lead your hands to his hair again, pressing him against your core. His fingers dig on your thighs like he wants to mark you, putting more strength on the way his face sticks between your legs.
“Jisung- fuck, Sungie”, you whine feeling his arm moving, his finger being inserted inside your folds. He thrust them in and out, eyes closed as he enjoys your taste, the way your juices spill all over the bed sheets, he wants every bit of it in his mouth but there's just too much, he can't have it all. It's okay though, he's planning to lick you clean everyday from now on, every time he makes you come on his tongue, he's not going to let any of your juices go to waste.
He puts another finger inside you, finally opening his eyes when he feels your walls fluttering around his knuckles.
“Fuck, are you gonna cum baby?” He asks, the look of pleasure in your face is so much that he has to hump against the bed to get some relief, his cock is throbbing so much, he feels he can cum just by looking at you.
“Y-hmm”, you are unable to form a whole word, the feeling spreading all over your body is too overwhelming, it's making you dazed and you can't think properly but you nod to him, hoping Jisung can understand that he shouldn't stop, not right now.
“Shit, y/n, come for me, please, I want to taste you coming on my tongue”, he tells you, going back to licking your cunt. He can feel the moment you cum, not just because you moan so loudly he thinks the other people on that floor can hear it but because your hole gets tighter around his fingers. You arch your back, hands going to the sheets as you grab them for dear life.
As you come down from your high, you're embarrassed to open your eyes. You never thought Jisung was one to do the whole dirty talking thing but if you think about it, there are quite a couple of things you didn't know about him.
You feel his kisses coming up your stomach, forcing you to open your eyes, you prop up on your elbows, watching him sneaking closer to you.
“Was it good?” He asks and you feel your whole face burning again but you nod anyways, feeling breathless when he smiles brightly, ears turning red.
You're ready to ask something but the huge bulge in his pants makes you gulp, staring for a second until his eyes follow yours and he blushes, turning with his stomach down so he can hide that part from you.
“Can I suck you off too?” You ask, licking your lips, suddenly eager to feel him coming on your mouth.
“I- I really want you to”, he clears his throat, looking around embarrassed, “but I don't think I'm gonna last long if I feel your pretty lips around me”, he says, making a huge smile grow on your lips.
“I never thought you'd be such a sweet talker in bed”, you confess, still squirming to his words.
Jisung smiles, leaning closer to you know, his chest pressed against yours and his length brushing on your leg.
“So, did you thought about how it would feel like if I fucked you?” His eyes darken again.
“I mean, lately you have been showing too much skin, it would be impossible for me not to have any dirty thoughts”, you confess.
“Fuck”, he groans, “do you want to keep goin?” He asks, kissing your neck, going up to your jaw and then your lips, “I don't have a condom but I'm sure we can make it work without putting it in”, he stares at you expectantly.
You feel the warmth on your lower stomach spread to all your body, shouldn't you feel less turned on now that you came?
“I- I'm on the pill, so…” you start saying and his eyes widen to your suggestion.
“Are you sure, it's okay if we don't-”
“I want to”, you assure him, “I want to feel all of you inside me, you have no idea how much I want to”, you plead and Jisung breathes a laugh, he's glad to see you're as desperate as he is.
“Okay”, he nods, “but if you want to stop at any time just tell me”, he says as he gets up from the bed to take his pants and underwear off.
When Jisung cock springs out of his underwear, hitting his stomach, you can't hold the moan that escapes your lips as you watch how painfully hard he is. He crawls back to your side, letting his hand rest on your stomach as he kisses you again.
“Do you have a position you want to be in?” He asks, shyly, as if you both are not fully naked in front of each other.
“I'd like to stay on top if it's okay”, you whisper and he nods.
“Yeah, I'd love that”, he says, laying down after giving you a peck on the lips. You take a deep breath before kissing him too, mouth trailing down his jaw and neck. You mark him, giving him hickeys all around his chest.
Jisung cups your face, bringing your lips to his as you throw a leg over his hip, rubbing your wet folds on the length of his cock, that small stimulation making you moan.
“Shit, you're so hot”, he whines, biting on his bottom lip as he stares at you. You chuckle, grabbing his shaft and positioning it on your entrance, closing your eyes and sighing to the mere pressure of his head splitting your foulds in a half. You sink down on his cock, moaning loudly, feeling him stretching you out perfectly.
“Oh- oh, this is so good, fuck”, you whine, letting yourself get used to the feeling.
“You're so tight”, he groans, hands going straight to your hips, digging his fingers on the flesh. “It feels so good inside you”
Jisung closes his eyes, overwhelmed with you, it's too much, your warmth is hugging him, making him whine and groan like an animal. But he wants you to feel as good as he's feeling, so he takes one of his hands from your hip to your mouth, brushing his middle and index fingers on your lips.
“Suck on them, baby”, he asks, making you moan and do as you're told. Jisung grins, taking his hand down to your core and pressing them on your clit, making circles around the puffy bud.
“Ah- Sungie, that's- that's too much”, you whine riding him slowly, feeling your orgasm growing at each passing second. The knot on your stomach ready to burst when you feel his cock throbbing inside you, making you open your eyes to look at him.
He's stunning even coming undone beneath you, Jisung has his lips partially open, his hair stuck on his sweaty forehead and his moans are just like music to your years, the prettiest sound he ever made and it's just yours now, it's just for you to hear it.
“I'm gonna come! Y/n, I'm gonna come”, he warns you so you can get off him if you want to but you sink deeper, causing him to reach his orgasm, spilling his hot cum inside you. You follow him shortly when he puts more pressure on your clit while he's coming, making you tremble and moan as you spasm with pleasure.
You fall down on his chest, feeling Jisung's arms wrap around you as he gently lays you down by his side. He pulls the blanket to cover you and gives you a kiss on the top of your head as he watches you blinking into sleep.
Jisung wakes up to an empty bed. His hand wanders through the sheets, searching for your warm body to snuggle in as he opens his eyes but he finds nothing, just a cold space.
He sits on the bed to look around, trying to find you but you're nowhere to be seen and suddenly dread takes over him. Did you go home? Did you leave him behind? Did you regret spending the night with him?
Those thoughts break his heart, he looks around once more just to make sure he's not mistaken and you're actually there with him. He gets up, putting on sweatpants and walking to the bathroom. He knocks a few times, hoping that you're there, that you're going to tell him to wait because you're in there but no sound comes back to him and when he opens the door the space is empty.
Jisung sits down on the edge of the bathtub, he wants to cry. He shouldn't have expected you to stay with him just because you spent one night together, he should have known that, but why does it hurt so much? Why does he feel like a part of his heart was ripped out?
He sighs, guessing this is your answer to his confession. Could you still be friends after what happened last night? He can't be sure. He goes around the room, collecting the rest of his things and finishing getting dressed, couldn't you have waited for him? The keys are still on the table, so how did you go home without the car?
When he's grabbing said keys though, the room's door swings open, welcoming in a very sweaty you.
“Ah, you're up?” You pout, “I thought I would be able to come back before you woke up”, you smile. How can you smile like that when you just broke his heart? How could you have disappeared?
“You came back?” He asks, arms falling limp by his sides. He stares at you with the eyes of a wounded puppy and that's when you know you did something you shouldn't.
“Yeah? You thought I left you?” You tease, trying to be funny but when he sulks, eyes growing glossy, it sinks in. “You did”, you come to the conclusion, closing the door behind you.
You walk to Jisung, putting the bag you have in your hands on the table.
“I went to buy breakfast but it turns out there aren't many places that sell decent food around here”, you explain, “it ended up taking more time than it was supposed to, I should have left a note. I'm sorry”
“I thought you had decided that you didn't want to stay with me”, Jisung whines, “that after last night you found out that I'm not enough for you anymore. That I really ruined everything”, he cries out, a single tear running down his cheek.
“Jisung, of course I wouldn't leave you behind even if I had decided I didn't want to date you”, you tell him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, trying to give him some reassurance.
“I was even preparing a speech in my head”, he pouts, “about how even if we don't date I'd still see you the same way. I'd be by your side forever even if it's not romantically, I'd be happy to watch you live your life, even if it's with someone else as long as you were happy”, he tells you. “Your love was already something I couldn't reach so I'm grateful that you gave me the chance to show you how much I love you”
“So you're going to be happy even if I marry someone else?” You question, making him sulk even more.
“I won't be happy but if you're that's enough for me”
“But I wouldn't want my boyfriend to be happy that I'm marrying someone else”, you tell him, smiling slightly as you watch the sentence you just said sink in on him and the sparkling grow in his eyes.
“Bo-boyfriend?” He asks, hesitant.
“Of course, or did you think I'd smash then dash?” You chuckle, his cheeks turn red and he pouts pulling you closer with the hand you have holding yours.
“So you love me back, right?” He questions, making you smile, nodding.
“I do”
“‘Cause I love you so much it feels like my heart is about to burst”, he says, putting your hand on his chest, his heart beating like crazy, making you smile. “Then, do you want to be my girlfriend?”
“Ye-”, his lips are on yours before you can finish the sentence, making you sigh, just forgetting about the breakfast and also to check out, calling the reception and updating your stay for another half day.
When you show up at Jeongin’s birthday holding hands and looking lovey dovey, everyone sighs relieved and you have to hear Minho’s and Seungmin's sarcastic ass saying “finally” and “I thought I would die before you two would finally fuck”, respectively.
Your daily life with Jisung went about almost the same as before, except that now you'd basically share the same room, you'd rarely sleep in yours. You make food and take it to the company when he's too busy, sometimes you even stay there till late in the night, waiting for him to finish recording so he can come home with you and cuddle in bed until you two fall asleep.
Your parents don't make a big deal about it, you swore your father would make you move to another place after the news came out but he just sighed, telling you that he knew this would happen someday and that he's happy you are dating someone as good as Jisung.
A few months go by and your relationship is still going smoothly. Of course you have some arguments here and there but nothing that you can't fix with a conversation.
You accepted the proposal of the guys to go touring with them and that's how you ended up in their dressing room, waiting for them to get back there after their last show on the tour.
The door opens and you hear the boys' loud voices coming in, greeting them and telling how nice the show was.
“You see how hard your future husband works?” Jisung brags, walking up to you and pulling you aside. He wraps his arms around you and you feel your cheeks burn, you still feel flustered to hear him saying this kind of thing.
“Future husband?” You tease, giggling as he pouts, frowning.
“Yeah, or do you let any man do this to you?” He pulls you closer and gives you a peck on the lips.
“Maybe?” You tease, making him stare at you with his brows raised, poking the inside of his cheek with his tongue.
“It seems like you need some punishment”, he sighs, looking at his hands before attaching them to your stomach, tickling you.
“Stop!” You scream, laughing and trying to get away from him.
“Say you're only mine”, he pouts, tickling you even more.
“Jisung, I'm gonna kill you”, you struggle to say between giggles.
“I'll die happily if you say I'm the only one for you”, he pushes, pressing his fingers even harder against your stomach.
“Okay, alright”, you give in, making him stop to look at you. “You are the only one for me and I'm all yours, happy?” You roll your eyes, watching his pout turning into a big smile.
“Say it one more time”, he whines.
“I love you”, you say, making Jisung stare at you for a moment, before his cheeks start turning pink.
“I'll never get tired of hearing that”, he smiles, holding your hand and bringing it to his mouth for him to kiss. “I love you”, he says, leaning in for a kiss, the sweetest you have ever shared.
A/N: If you like my work, please don't forget to reblog, it really helps my stories reach new people so more readers can come to enjoy what I write.
If you want to support me you can also buy me a coffee ☕
Taglist(in red are the ones I couldn't tag): @hhwangsmoon @weareapackofstrays @shycreationdreamland @adestayskz @skizmee @ca11me3mily @realviviboss @sofix-hc7 @starsandrqindrops @itshannjisung @redstayrosie @mae-is-cute98 @blithevix @astro-doll-the-star @captainchrisstan @rag-iii @notastraykid @jisunghannie @applepie-macaroon @stayingdelulu @sundayysunshine @kidrauhlschik @wolfennracha @meloncremesoda @hanschimpmunk @realrintaro @teejisung @maexc @gyustarzzi @ivaneedssleep @chaeryred @daemon-bunny @broken-glowsticks @ch4nniebang @sleepyleeji @seukijeuxq @luvbangchan @lovesunshinefelix @hyunjins-dimples @castielsfrillywhiteknickers @armystaytiny @literallyjustwanttoread @jungkookies1002 @diorggukie @channieandhisgoonsquad @mamabymychem @ladylexis @bmnyy
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Part 4: Warning Bells
Masterlist - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Part 8 - Part 9 - Part 10 - Part 11 - Part 12 - Part 13 - Part 14
I don't think I can do this again (do you remember it too?)
(In which a self-admittedly all over the place writer takes you on a bit of a rollercoaster)
Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd
Themes: Fluff, Angst, Pining (the usuals)
Words: 6.1K
TW: Swearing, Mentions of Divorce
A/N: Hi lovelies :) Guess who made a deadline again? I'm as shocked as y'all are but I do wanna just warn y'all that August is gonna be really busy for me so as much as I'm gonna try to stick to schedule, there's a pretty good chance I won't. I really appreciate y'alls feedback with live-reacts/long reviews and it's truly the motivating factor behind my writing so pretty please keep sending them. I did edit (as usual) but please let me know the most likely existent typos anyway. As always, let me know what you liked, disliked and what you wanna see next. Have a lovely rest of your week my loves <3
March 2033
Here’s what Azzi has learned about motherhood: having kids means that there will come many times in your life, when you will look around you and wonder how the hell did I get here. It’s that thought that’s currently plaguing her as she finishes hanging up the WELCOME HOME banner on the living room wall in her ex-girlfriend’s new apartment. And when she’s talking about kids, she’s not talking about her five year old who’s currently sticking purple hearts on every surface she can find. No, she’s talking about her 6’5 teammate who she’d once “adopted” as a joke in college, but who’s basically become her surrogate child ever since they’d ended up on the same WNBA team.
It had started as a casual conversation when Jana, as she often did, had shown up for an impromptu lunch. The topic of Paige was hard to avoid considering it was Stephie’s favorite subject, heightened by the fact that Paige was coming back soon and Stephie was far too excited to finally have her Miss Buecks back. Jana was more than happy to indulge the little girl in conversation about what Paige had been like at UConn. And if Azzi had lost herself in those memories for a moment, transported back in time to a world that had once been blooming with promise before wilting in a darkness she’d created herself, well, she’d done an excellent job not letting it show on her face.
The real issue had started when Jana had casually let slip her idea of surprising Paige with a little welcome party. And as Stephie had started reciting all the different things they could do -because of course me and Mama will help you Aunty J, Azzi had glared at Jana, only to receive an innocent smile in return that told her everything she needed to know. She’d been set up.
That’s how, instead of spending her Saturday curled up on her comfortable couch with a book in her hands, Azzi is here instead and in true fashion, she’s the only one actually getting anything done. Jana, who had just left about twenty minutes ago to pick Paige up, had invited some of the other girls on the team to come help out yet, something about more hands on deck. Those supposed helpful hands had spent the last hour blowing up and popping balloons and getting nothing else done.
“I can’t believe y’all have me decorating for the woman who cost me my first national championship,” Joyce laments, “I still have nightmares from that game.”
“You gotta let that hurt go Aunty Joy,” Stephie says impishly, mimicking what Jana would normally say whenever the infamous 2025 South Carolina vs UConn national championship got brought up.
“Don’t sass me Miss Stephanie,” Joyce sticks out her tongue at the little girl, throwing a purple balloon at Stephie’s head, “hasn’t your Mama taught you that we don’t mock people’s pain.”
“Ignore her Steph,” Tessa says, bumping her former Gamecock teammate as she shares a devilish grin with Azzi’s daughter, “she’s just upset she only won one. Some of us have two.”
Joyce guffaws, throwing another balloon, this time aimed at Tessa, “dude we’re supposed to be on the same team. What would Coach Staley say to you teaming with UConn people of all things to bully me?”
“She’d thank me for making sure you didn’t get a big head,” Tessa snipes back.
Whatever response Joyce has to that quip is cut short by the doorbell ringing and Azzi feels her heartbeat quicken as Stephie lets out a squeal, dropping everything to go answer it. Things had been different since the facetime call almost two weeks ago. They’d accidentally on purpose settled into a routine where Stephie would call Paige at exactly 7 p.m. and Paige would answer on the first ring, promising to stay on the phone till the little girl fell asleep. And it would’ve been fine if that’s all it was. But then Paige started staying on the phone till after Stephie fell asleep and suddenly it was like they were back to their teenage selves, talking about everything and nothing, trying to learn every page of each other’s story all over again.
Azzi had missed so much about Paige in the last couple of years but there was nothing she’d missed more than just talking to her best friend. She’d missed the way Paige would tell a story, going off on a million tangents in between. She’d missed the way her eyes would light up when she got to a particularly exciting part of the story, specks of gold shimmering in the blue like sunlight hitting the ocean. She’d missed the way Paige’s hands would be flying animatedly all over the place, even when she was whispering. She’d missed the way the blonde would pause halfway through to observe if Azzi was still listening, making sure all of the attention was still on her. And she’d missed the way that when it was Azzi’s turn to speak, Paige would hang onto every word like it was gospel, intently listening like she’d never forgive herself if she couldn’t recite everything Azzi had just said from memory. She’d missed the way Paige would let her emotions freely flicker across her face, because whatever happened to Azzi, Paige felt it too.
She’d missed and missed, convinced the pain would be the end of her, until she’d tricked her mind into forgetting. And now Azzi’s beginning to realize that remembering it all again, might just be the thing that kills her.
“Nevermind,” Stephie walks back to the room, sulking slightly, “it’s just Aunty Liyah.”
“Oh thanks Stephie babe. That makes me feel so wonderful,” Aaliyah says, walking in behind Stephie with an offended expression on her face, “and here I thought bringing cupcakes would make me popular.”
“Tell me those are store-bought Chavez. I ain’t trusting them if you made them yourselves,” Joyce says, side-eyeing the cupcakes.
“Trust me I would never waste my precious time baking for y’all ungrateful ass-”
“Aaliyah,” Azzi shoots her younger teammate a sharp look.
“-ungrateful people,” Aaliyah corrects sheepishly, “cupcakes because y’all clearly don’t appreciate me.”
“I pre-ciate you Aunty Liyah,” Stephie says innocently, trying to get a better look at the aforementioned cupcakes, “you got the pu-ple ones right? They have to be pu-ple for Miss Buecks.”
Aaliyah bends down to Stephie’s level to show her the box of sweet treats “the perfect purple cupcakes for your Miss Buecks. How come you never wanna do nice things like this for us Stephie?”
“Because Miss Buecks is special,” Stephie retorts matter-of-factly.
“Oh so we’re not special?” Tessa asks, raising an eyebrow at Stephie.
“‘Course you are but Miss Buecks is special-er.”
And while her teammates all pretend to dramatically gasp at that, shaking their heads at Stephie, Azzi feels like someone’s squeezing her heart, twisting and twisting but never fully breaking it. She wonders if that might hurt less.
It’s another 10 minutes later when the doorbell rings again and Azzi watches her daughter’s face break into an incandescent grin, filled with hope, as she rushes to open the door because it has to be Paige this time. Azzi follows after her, trying to keep her breathing under control as anticipation clings to her nerves. Azzi’s gotten so spectacularly good at lying to herself that she tells herself this next one with ease: there’s not a single part of her that’s eager to see Paige again.
“SURPRISE,” Stephie screams, flinging the front door open with as much strength as she can muster. She doesn’t give Paige a chance to react before she’s throwing herself against the blonde’s legs, hugging her thighs.
It takes a second for Paige to register what’s happening, but when she does, it’s Azzi she’s looking at. Everything seems to move in slow motion as they stare at each other, the reality of the moment suddenly settling in. Paige is here. In Oakland. They’re going to be teammates; they’re going to see each other almost every day. Just like they used to. Except nothing is like it used to be and as that bitter truth comes up like bile in Azzi’s throat, she has to force herself to look away.
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie calls out, tugging at the hem of Paige’s white shirt to get her attention, “do you like my surprise?”
Paige tears her eyes away from Azzi, leaning down to pick Stephie up before peppering her faces with kisses and making the younger girl squeal in delight, “best surprise ever.”
And Azzi really, really, can’t watch this. Not when it makes her want to walk over and cocoon herself in with the two of them, makes her want to pretend that she’s living in another life, one where she hadn’t thrown away the chance of a happily ever after with the girl she’d fallen in love with at fourteen,
“Oh yeah Stephie, your surprise. Take all the credit. Not like the rest of us did anything,” Joyce rolls her eyes goodnaturedly, before pulling Paige into a one-armed hug, “welcome to the Bay Area Bueckers.”
Tessa and Aaliyah are next, both sharing warm hugs with their new teammate. Once they’ve had their turn, all eyes seem to turn to Azzi expectantly and the brunette blanches under their gaze. Other than Jana, who suddenly seems pretty heavily interested in the doorframe, the rest of her teammates don’t know about her past with Paige. So it’s only natural they’d expect her to greet Paige with all the cordiality of an old friend.
“Y’all good?” Joyce asks slowly, looking between the two of them, “do you want me to introduce y’all or?”
“Shut up,” Azzi murmurs before drawing in a deep breath and stepping towards Paige. She tries not to fixate on the way Paige’s jaw flexes when the blonde swallows, tries not to think about all the patterns she’d once carved against that little patch of skin because she knew it drove Paige insane. The thing is Azzi can’t even really remember the last time they hugged beyond a for-the-cameras one at a game. But as she wraps her arms around Paige, the older woman’s breath tickling against her ear as she grips Azzi’s waist, it doesn’t feel that much different from how it used to be. Paige’s arms are still safe and strong and Azzi still wants to melt into them. But what’s different is that Stephie’s in between them now, tiny hands securely fastened around both of their necks. And Azzi almost, almost gives into the feeling of belonging as she whispers two simple words that mean just a little too much.
“Welcome home.”
***
Seven pairs of eyes watch as the movers move box after box after box into Paige’s apartment, until there’s more cardboard than floor visible. The three non-UConn girlies are wide-eyed as they watch the pile grow endlessly. Meanwhile Jana is laughing while Azzi tries to hide a smile behind her hands as the realization that she’d have to unpack all of her stuff hits Paige in waves, and her expression grows more and more somber. Once the movers are finally done, it’s Stephie, whose hand is still firmly clasped in Paige’s, who breaks the silence.
“You have a lot of things Miss Buecks,” the little girl crinkles her nose, as she points out the obvious, “do you really need all of this stuff.”
“Of course I do Stephie,” Paige says indignantly and Azzi scoffs, earning her a withering glare from the blond.
“Aight well it was nice to meet you-” Joyce starts, slowly backing away from the mess until Jana blocks her way.
“Oh no you don’t. I told y’all we were all gonna help her move in. Call it team bonding,” the Egyptian says, her voice vaguely threatening.
“Most of the team isn’t even here,” Aaliyah points out cautiously.
“That’s not the point,” Jana rebukes, “alright team listen up. Here’s how this is going to go-”
“Maybe Paige should take charge. It is her apartment,” Tessa says slowly.
“If we put Paige in charge she’ll tell us all to go home and procrastinate doing anything until after the season,” Azzi says, a knowing smirk playing on her lips.
Paige pouts, “hey! I’m not that bad.”
“Oh you absolutely are.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
“O-kay,” Jana claps, breaking apart the bickering, “it’s good to see the two of you are apparently younger than Stephie,” she holds up a hands a both Paige and Azzi start to splutter in their defense, “now as I was saying before being rudely interrupted. We’re gonna split this up. Joyce and I are gonna do the living room. Aaliyah and Tessa, y’all are gonna fix the guest room. Which leaves,” Jana smiles, and it’s only because Azzi knows her so well that she can read the menacing sparkle behind it, “Paige and Azzi to tackle the master bedroom.”
They both open their mouths to protest but are quick to get cut off by an excited Stephie, “I’mma help Mama and Miss Buecks!”
“Of course you are, why would you ever help anybody else? Clearly you don’t love us anymore. Not since your precious Miss Buecks got here,” Joyce says dramatically and while Paige smirks and the rest of the girls pretend to act mock offended, Azzi uses the distraction to sidle up to Jana.
“What the fuck are you playing at El-Alfy,” she hisses under hear breath.
Jana shrugs innocently, “the master bedroom is the hardest because Paige has so many fucking clothes so I’m letting y’all old heads do it. Some of us are below 30 ya know.”
“Cut the bullshit,” Azzi snaps.
“I have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about Fudd,” Jana says airily as she starts to unpack a box, leaving Azzi muttering curses under her breath.
“Hey-”
Azzi spins around at the soft voice, only to find herself crashing against a solid body. It’s instinct, the way Paige’s hands immediately reach out to steady her and it’s instinct, the way Azzi’s hands grab at the lapels of the blond’s shirt. Goosebumps trails up her skin as Paige's breath, hot and heavy, fans across her face. They’re too close; way too close and yet the idea of stepping away feels like a sin. Azzi gulps as her thumb accidentally brushes Paige’s collarbone and the other woman shivers under her touch. She thinks she could probably get drunk off the feeling of knowing that she can still affect Paige like that.
“You uh-” Paige swallows, fingers squeezing involuntarily against Azzi’s hip, “you don’t have to listen to Jana. I can- I can figure it out myself.”
“N-no,” Azzi stutters and she wonders if Paige feels a high from the way she still affects Azzi too, “there’s um- you have- uh- you have a lot of stuff. I can-,” she sucks in a deep breath, “I’ll help.”
“You sure?” there’s a vulnerable edge to Paige’s tone and any resolve Azzi could ever have melts immediately.
“I want to help,” she says softly, letting a small smile slip onto her lips.
The smile she gets in return is bright and sparkling, just like Paige herself and Azzi’s heart lurches, pleased to be the one receiving it, pleased to be the one who’d elicited it, “Good, cause I really wanted your help.”
Azzi shakes her head, trying to ignore the warning bells blazing in her head at the fact that they’re still holding each other, “why’d you pretend you didn’t?”
“I just wanted to hear you say it first,” Paige says, biting at her bottom lip. It leaves a light mark and Azzi finds herself wanting to soothe it over with her own tongue.
She thinks it might have been easier if it was just a little harder to fall back into Paige. It shouldn’t be so simple to fall back into late night conversations, so simple to fall back into easy teasing, so simple to fall back into feeling at peace in Paige’s arms. But it is.
“Mama, Miss Buecks,” it’s Stephie who breaks their bubble but instead of jumping away from each other like they should, they step apart only enough to let the little girl into the space between them, so she can lace her hands through both of theirs, “are you ready?”
“Before you go Paige,” Tessa calls out, holding up a clear bag of corner guards and edge protectors, “what are we doing with these?”
Paige shuffles her feet nervously, “you um- you put them on the edge of like tables and stuff.”
“Bro but they’re for people who have children?” Joyce says, giving Paige a weird look, “you have a kid we don’t know about?”
Paige’s eyes flicker to Stephie for a brief second and Azzi freezes, a warm realization tickling up her spine. Butterflies erupt in her stomach, their wings fluttering to the beat of what’s mine could have been ours.
“Of course not. I’m just super clumsy so precautions and all that,” the blond explains, shooting Jana a glare when the taller woman barely masks a giggle, “quit procrastinating by asking all these questions and get to work.”
“Has anyone ever told you the importance of first impressions? Because I’m telling you Bueckers, using your teammates as unpaid labor the first time you meet them is not it,” Aaliyah gives Paige a pointed look.
“This wasn’t even my idea in the first place,” Paige defends.
“True,” Tessa nods with a sickly sweet smile, “but you’re gonna pay for the pizza anyways.”
“I’m not pay-”
“PIZZA,” Stephie squeals, “Miss Buecks you’re gonna get us Pizza?”
“Yeah Miss Buecks,” Azzi smickers, crossing her arms as Paige’s stubborn retort dies on her lips, “you gonna get us pizza?”
Paige glares at her before she’s swinging Stephie up onto her lap again. And she really needs to stop doing things like that because it’s not remotely good for Azzi’s mental health to watch the way Stephie seems to fit perfectly in Paige’s arms, “of course I am Steph, what do you want?”
The two of them are lost in their own world discussing pizza toppings as Paige starts walking over to the master bedroom, until suddenly they're both turning around, looking at Azzi with identical expressions. And the brunette feels her heart tap out this could be my everything against her ribcage.
“You coming Azzi?”
“Mama, are you coming?”
I’d go anywhere with the two of you, Azzi thinks as she nods her head, a light skip in her step as she moves to catch up with the two of them.
“Of course I’m coming.”
***
Less than 10 minutes into trying to unpack, Azzi realizes that she’s the only one trying to unpack anything when she looks up from where she’s been folding t-shirts -trying and failing at not breathing in their familiar scent- to find Stephie decked in a colorful cardigan that goes all the way down to her toes, her feet clad in a pair of PB4’s that must be three times the size of her own shoes. A pair of Louis Vuitton sunglasses hide almost her entire face as she strikes pose after pose and Paige diligently takes pictures of her.
“YES Stephie,” the blond indulges, “work it girl. There you go babe, hold that pose for me. You’re a natural in front of the camera.”
Stephie giggles and Azzi feels her heart constrict. Her favorite sound in the whole world has never sounded more like a signal for danger.
“Ahem ahem,” she coughs, narrowing her eyes at the two people in front of her, “doesn’t look like y’all are unpacking to me.”
“Mama Miss Buecks has so many pretty clothes,” Stephie gushes, completely ignoring what her mother just said.
“They’d look even prettier folded in her closet,” Azzi says pointedly.
Stephie pouts, “you don’t think I look pretty?”
“You look really pretty in my clothes Stephie,” Paige cuts in, tapping the little girl on the nose before she turns her gaze towards Azzi, “just like your Mama used to.”
The silk material shirt slips out of Azzi’s hand as Paige’s words drizzle around her, like the rain after a drought. It takes every little bit of strength she can muster to force herself to ignore Paige’s words and pick up another shirt to fold even if she can’t stop the rouge tint that colors her face. There’s this part of her that’s been dormant for years but every little interaction with Paige threatens to awaken it and Azzi’s scared that if she lets that happen, she’ll never be able to put it to sleep again.
“Just- just focus on unpacking,” Azzi mutters darkly.
She spends the next hour or so, keeping her eyes downcast, her complete focus on the task at hand. Because if she looks up, if she lets herself see the way Stephie and Paige are folding clothes together while giggling about something, if she lets herself see the way Stephie climbs onto Paige’s back so the woman can give her a piggyback to the closet to deposit the folded clothes, she thinks she could fall in love with this moment, capture it behind her eyelids and let it live there forever. But this moment doesn’t belong to Azzi. Because Paige doesn’t belong to Azzi. Not anymore.
Azzi’s taken away from her thoughts when she feels a tiny hand wrapping around her neck from behind, Stephie’s warm body pressing against her back and just like that, all the tension in her muscles seem to dissipate.
“What’s up sweetheart,” she asks, turning her head to press her lips against her daughter’s temple.
“Nothing Mama,” Stephie says sweetly, “just wanted to give you a hug.”
“Sure you’re not just trying to get out of helping Miss Buecks unpack?” Azzi asks slyly, pulling Stephie from behind her, so the little girl’s lying on her lap instead. She can feel Paige’s eyes focused on the two of them and even without looking, she thinks she knows what she’d find in them if she did.
“Of course not Mama,” Stephie grins and then squeals as Azzi begins to tickle her.
“I think you are,” Azzi sings-songs as she continues to poke at her daughter’s stomach, reveling in the way it makes the child laugh.
“N-no Mama stop, stop,” Stephie manages to wrench herself out from Azzi’s grip, darting to hide behind Paige’s legs, “Miss Buecks save me.”
“There’s no saving you now Stephie-bear,” Azzi roars dramatically as she picks herself off the floor, smirking at her daughter as she wriggles her fingers menacingly.
“You know what the best way to stop someone from tickling you is Stephie?” Paige says slowly, sending the little girl a conspiratorial wink.
“Don’t you dare-”
“You tickle them back,” Paige yells and Stephie eyes widen with excitement, “did you know your Mama’s extremely ticklish?”
“Paige no,” Azzi starts moving back, hands held in surrender.
“You started it.”
“Yeah Mama, you started it.”
“Paige. Stephie. Ple-” Azzi cuts herself off with squeal as two sets of hands start mercilessly prodding at her ribcage. She can’t get away, not when Paige has her securely wrapped from the back and Stephie’s pressed against her front, both of them laughing maniacally. They’re a mess of limbs that’s becoming harder and harder to tell apart as the three of them topple onto Paige’s bed. And Azzi thinks maybe she doesn’t want to escape it at all. She thinks she’d like to freeze them in this moment instead. Forever.
“Pizza’s here,” someone yells from the living room and it’s Stephie who stops first, immediately jumping off the bed at the mention of food, leaving Paige and Azzi alone. On Paige’s bed. Barely an inch of distance between them as they try to catch their breath. It’s Azzi who sits up first, smoothening the wrinkles on her shirt. And just as she’s about to stand up fully, she feels a hand circling around her wrist.
“It’s gonna be weird being alone tonight,” Paige confesses softly and Azzi feels her breath hitch.
“Didn’t you live alone in Dallas? At least after the divorce?” she tries to keep the bitterness out of her voice at the last word, a bitterness she knows she has absolutely no right to feel.
Paige shrugs, her shoulders brushing against Azzi’s, “I did but I knew Dallas. I don’t know this place.”
“What exactly are you asking me?” Azzi asks even though she knows.
“I’m not asking you anything. I don’t know if I have that right anymore” Paige says softly, letting go of Azzi’s wrist as she starts to walk towards the living room, turning her head back slightly once she gets to the door, “I’m just telling you I don’t wanna be alone tonight.”
***
Damn Paige Bueckers and her vulnerable eyes and her earnest tone because Azzi would, really, really like to be enjoying her slice of pizza right now. Instead everything tastes like ashes as Paige’s unsaid plea rings in her head. There are so many reasons why Azzi absolutely shouldn’t give in, why she should grab Stephie, get into her car, drive home and never look back. This involuntary dance the two of them are starting is far too familiar to what they’d done when they were teenagers and the vivid memories of the day the music stopped and they’re feet stopped moving still haunt Azzi every time she lets herself think of it for a little too long. And she shouldn’t push herself into this fire again, not when there’s Stephie to think about, but there’s a tiny little problem. She thinks she might be addicted to burning in Paige’s flames.
So when the pizza’s done and the house is more or less in order, and her teammates are ready to leave, looking expectantly at Azzi, she finds herself leaping into lava, “um- I think Stephie and I are gonna stay for a little bit longer.”
“We are?” Stephie asks, a huge smile stretching the length of her face as she looks up at her mother.
“Yeah. Um- Paige’s bedroom still um- still needs some work,” Azzi tries to justify her decision, ignoring the heat of the blond’s eyes that seem to be perpetually stuck staring at her.
Joyce raises a perplexed eyebrow, “it looked done to me.”
Paige clears her throat, “there’s definitely uh- a couple more things that need to be handled.”
“It’s almost Stephie’s bedtime. I could stay and help-” Jana begins, eyeing the two of them suspiciously.
“No,” Paige says, a little louder than necessary, “I mean you’ve already done so much for me today Jana,” she manages a smirk, “let Azzi pull her weight a little bit too ya know.”
Janna narrows her eyes but doesn’t push it. It’s oddly domestic, standing side by side with Paige bidding goodbye to their teammates, Stephie in between them happily waving at the people that are leaving. The warning bells get louder and louder; Azzi continues to do nothing to stop them.
“Mama, how long are we staying?” Stephie asks innocently.
“We um-” Azzi chews at her lip, finally giving into the temptation to look at Paige, “we’re gonna stay with Miss Buecks tonight so she doesn’t feel alone.”
The shrill scream that escapes Stephie’s mouth could probably break glass as she turns herself around to grab at Paige’s waist, “Miss Buecks I’m gonna stay with you! We’re gonna have a sleep-over.”
Paige laughs, kneeling down so she’s face to face with the little girl, “yeah we are.”
“Are you scared to sleep alone too Miss Buecks?” Stephie asks cautiously, cupping Paige’s face with tiny hands.
“Just a little bit,” Paige admits, leaning into Stephie’s touch.
“Me too,” Stephie whispers shyly, “that’s why I sneak into Mama's bed and she gives me lots and lots and lots of cuddles. Mama’s cuddles are the best,” she turns to Azzi, “Mama will you give Miss Buecks cuddles tonight too?”
“I uh-” Azzi swallows, taken aback by the question, “I thought you didn’t like sharing Mama’s cuddles?”
“I don’t,” Stephie agrees, “but I’d be okay sharing them with Miss Buecks.”
***
Azzi had planned -a loose term because really she hadn’t planned on any of this- for her and Stephie to take the guest room. Paige had been ready to give up her own room on the grounds of politeness. And Stephie was insistent that she needed to sleep in between both Mama and Miss Buecks tonight because it’s a sleepover we all have to stay together. Obviously out of the three of them, only one of them was going their way and it didn’t take a genius to figure out who that would be. That’s how they’d ended up here, dragging chairs and pillows and blankets into the middle of the living room to create a makeshift fort.
Azzi’s putting on the finishing touches, stringing purple fairy lights Paige had produced out of nowhere, when Stephie emerges from Paige’s bedroom where she’d gone looking for something to wear in lieu of pajamas.
“Mama look what I found,” Stephie beams, proudly pointing at the black t-shirt she’s found that covers her whole body, “it’s you and Miss Buecks when you were littler.”
It’s their SLAM cover t-shirt and Azzi feels tears prickling at her waterline as she’s met with the picture of a younger version of the two of them. Back when they’d been so hopeful and carefree, ready to take on the world as long as they could do it together. Back when they’d been 2 in a million.
“I can’t believe you still have this,” Azzi whispers, unable to stop herself from running her fingers across the version of who they used to be. She wonders what those girls would think of them now; those girls who’d laid and bed and pinky promised forever. She thinks they’d probably be appalled at the fact that Paige and Azzi had spent eight years barely speaking. She thinks maybe they’d hate her for what she’d done. She thinks maybe she hates herself a little bit for what she’s done to them.
Paige is leaning against the wall, her voice quiet when she speaks, “I couldn’t let it go.”
And they both know she’s not talking about the shirt.
“Can we watch a movie?” Stephie asks, diving into the fort and peering up at the two adults.
Paige recovers first, “yeah- yeah of course Steph,” she looks at Azzi, “do you- do you want something else to sleep in?”
“I’m good,” Azzi says, trying to inconspicuously brush away a rebellious tear. The shirt she’s wearing feels itchy against her skin but she doesn’t think she could handle wearing something of Paige’s. She scooches into the fort, leaning back against one of the pillows and Stephie’s quick to curl into her and Azzi absentmindedly rubs her hands down her daughter’s back. Paige switches on the TV, letting Stephie dictate a movie choice before letting herself into the fort, laying down on Stephie’s other side.
“Miss Buecks come cuddle,” Stephie demands from where her head is laying on Azzi’s chest. When Paige hesitates, the younger girl takes it upon herself to pull Paige’s arms over her, making the older woman lie on her side so she can drape her hands over Stephie's stomach, accidentally brushing against Azzi’s ribcage. Stephie lets out a satisfied sigh, lying back down against Azzi, crossing her arms so she can hold Paige’s hand with one and latch onto her mother with the other.
“Perfect.”
And it is. The sound of Stephie’s chatter slowly fading away mixed with Paige’s quiet breathing is the perfect lullaby and Azzi finds herself drifting off into the best sleep she’s had in years.
***
Sunlight peeks in through the window and Azzi groans at the interruption. Her whole body feels a little stiff, not used to sleeping on the floor like this. A quick glance at her phone tells her it’s 7 a.m. and Azzi’s just about to let herself fall back asleep when her eyes land on the two sleeping figures next to her. Stephie’s face is buried in Paige’s neck, one arm slung over her waist. Paige, mouth slightly ajar as she sleeps, has both hands fastened on the younger, holding her tightly against her chest like she’d fight the world if someone tried to steal her from her grip. They look happy, content, at peace. And Azzi can’t breathe.
The warning bells in her head create a cacophonous commotion that she can no longer escape. It hits her like whiplash that she can’t do this. She doesn’t know what had gotten into her last night, why she’d agreed to this, to any of this. But she can’t do this.
“Stephie,” Azzi whispers urgently, trying to pull her daughter out of Paige’s grasp, “Stephie wake up.”
“Az?” Paige asks groggily, stirring in her sleep, “what’s going on?”
“We need to go home,” Azzi says and she can’t bear to look at Paige.
“What?” Paige is far more awake now as she glances at her phone, “it’s 7 am Azzi. What’s the rush?"
Azzi ignores her, still trying to wake Stephie up who groans, “Mama too early.”
“Steph-”
“Azzi,” Paige’s voice is firm as she wraps her hand around Azzi’s wrist, slipping Stephie off of her, “what is going on.”
Azzi grits her teeth, “nothing’s going on. We just need to go home.”
“Azzi-”
“We shouldn’t have stayed last night Paige,” Azzi bursts out and Paige freezes.
“Come out of the fort Azzi,” the blond says, her voice eerily calm as she stands up. Azzi follows after her, heart beating rapidly against her chest as she tries to keep the tears at bay.
“We need to go home,” the brunette repeats, struggling to breathe, “this was a mistake,” Paige flinches and Azzi feels a knife turn in her own hurt, “we can’t do this.”
“Do what Azzi?” Paige asks exasperatedly, still trying to keep her voice low for Stephie’s sake.
“This,” Azzi all but shrieks, throwing her hands up, “it’s too much, too quick and Stephie- Stephie’s getting attached and I can’t- I can’t let that happen.”
“Why not?” Paige argues stubbornly.
“Because these last two weeks she couldn’t fall asleep without you on the phone. Because you’re all she talks about sometimes. Because she’s gonna want you forever,” Azzi’s voice breaks, “and she can’t have you forever.”
“Az-”
“And you’re getting attached too. I see the way you look at her and it’s amazing but it’s not- it’s not sustainable Paige. For either of you. Because you’re gonna find someone soon,” the words taste sour on Azzi’s tongue, “and you’re not gonna have time for her and missing you is going to kill her and the guilt of that is going to hurt you. I’m trying to pro-”
“Don’t you fucking dare,” Paige’s voice is hard now, eyes gleaming with fire, “you’re basing all of this on a hypothetical that might not even come true. You’re not protecting anybody. You’re projecting.”
Azzi reels back, “I am not projecting.”
“Yes you are,” Paige hisses, “you’re not scared of Stephie or me getting too attached. You’re scared of yourself getting too attached.”
“Mama? Miss Buecks,” Stephie’s tired eyes look warily between the two of them, “what’s going on?”
Azzi plasters a smile on her face as she picks up her little girl, trying to pretend that the truth in Paige’s words haven’t just made her feel hollow, “we’re going home Stephie.”
“I don’t wanna go home,” Stephie fights against Azzi’s grip, looking helplessly at Paige, “Miss Buecks I wanna stay. Can I please stay?”
“You have to listen to your Mama sweetheart” Paige says softly, heartbreak written over her face as she moves to press a kiss against Stephie’s knuckles, “but I’ll see you soon okay. I promise.”
“Miss Buecks,” Stephie whimpers and Azzi has never hated herself more as she rushes out of Paige’s new house, willing herself to not look back. She buckles Stephie in the back, pretending she doesn’t see the way Paige is watching them leave from the porch, like she’d do anything to stop it. And then she drives away.
It isn’t until she’s safely in the confines over her own room, that Azzi finally lets the tears fall. And she consoles herself with the fact that it’s okay to crack her daughter's heart, to crack Paige’s heart, to crack her own heart, if that’s the only way she can stop their hearts from breaking altogether.
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How They are Handling your Disappearance Pt. 3
MC Returns
Ahh you guys i'm so glad you are enjoying this little series! I wasn't expecting so many of you to like it! But as requested by many, here is part 3 where MC returns to the present day timeline and reunites with the 7 brothers. This is a bit of a lengthy one because like... we are home! It's a little less angsty, a little more happy this time haha. Anyways, please enjoy! Reblogs and feedback are appreciated as usual!
Read Part 1: Brothers
Read Part 2: Side Characters
Word count: 3,057
Rating: T, slightly suggestive.
Taglist: @amberrskiies @obey-me-posts @sassykattery @delphi-dreamin @bite-sized-devil @flemmingbamse @a-hidden-gem @otomefoxystar @siofrantic @todothedodo @ihatecorns @exrellian @vernith @sus0daddy
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rose divider by @/firefly-graphics
It feels like it has been forever since the day that you went missing, but the brothers never gave up their search. How could they when you were out there somewhere, possibly alone and scared? The thought of their little human wandering around the unknown gave them the motivation they needed to keep going. But after a long day of once again searching the Devildom up and down with no results, the brothers are settling down for the evening.
Lucifer
The Avatar of Pride is in his room getting ready for bed after a long day of searching for you.
His wings are terribly sore from flying all day, so he lays on his bed sprawled out on his stomach, allowing his feathery wings to stretch out behind him.
He rests his head in his arms, and sighs.
Yet another day of searching, but no results.
Suddenly, he begins to feel a familiar tingling sensation of magic in the air that brings goosebumps to his bare arms.
Before he had time to process what was happening, a flash of light filled his room, practically blinding him.
After a few seconds, the light dissipates and there you are, standing in its place.
Lucifer forgets all about his aching wings, and jumps up from the bed.
At first, he hesitates, terrified that you’ll disappear again at any moment.
“M-MC…? Is it really you…?”
His crimson eyes are wide as he takes in your appearance.
You appear the same, but he's confused by the horns that now rest on your head, as well as a few other demonic attributes.
Just where did you disappear to?
Your face scrunches up and your eyes fill with tears. “L-Luci… yes, it’s really me.”
Suddenly, his arms are around you, a million questions in his throat but unable to speak.
You whimper, taking in his scent. He smells freshly showered, the smell of his soap sending a wave of comfort crashing over you.
“Luci… I missed you so much…I’m so sorry…”
His shoulders begin to tremble and he tucks his face into the crook of your neck.
You feel wetness on your skin as he begins to cry.
Have you ever seen him cry before?
Just how much have they all suffered while I was gone?
Your arms wrap themselves around his neck and you squeeze your eyes shut.
You stand there in his arms, his wings wrapping themselves around the two of you protectively.
He will never let you go again.
After a few moments, he pulls away, staring into your eyes.
“MC, the days I've spent searching for you were endless… but never once did I give up. I’m very glad that I didn’t. Every second was worth my time.”
Suddenly his lips are on yours and you accept his kiss greedily.
Kissing him was the confirmation you needed that you were home.
“MC, please forgive me. You can tell me the details later, but right now I just need you. I need to know you are here and…real.”
He spins you around, guiding you to his bed so the back of your legs hit the edge, causing you to fall back.
He hovers over top of you, his crimson eyes full of love, adoration, and desire.
You giggle through your tears, placing a hand on his cheek. “I love you so much, Luci.”
He smiles, tucking a stray hair behind your ear.
“Words alone cannot express my love for you, little one.”
You give him a peck on the lips again. “We have a lot of time to make up for you know… where should we start?”
Lucifer gives you a mischievous grin. “I have just the thing in mind, darling. Something that has been long overdue.”
Mammon
Mammon returned to his bedroom shortly after arriving home.
He had to check on his ravens who were also out searching for you while they were gone.
His wings were sore as shit, and all he wanted to do was shower and go to bed.
But you are more important.
Throwing open his window, one of his ravens glides down to greet him.
“Damn, ya didn’t find anything did ya?”
The raven hangs its head sadly, and Mammon sighs.
“Thanks anyways, I appreciate the help.”
Suddenly the raven begins to flap its wings wildly, cawing at something behind him.
Mammon spins around, and his golden eyes widen in shock when he sees just who is appearing in the middle of his bedroom.
It was you, clear as day.
He’s speechless, unable to find the right words even though he’s been playing them on repeat in his head since the day you left.
“Mammon!” you shout with tears in your eyes. You begin to run towards him, but he meets you halfway, scooping you up into his arms and spinning you around.
He sets you down again, and hugs you snugly to his chest.
“MC…I… Shit. I-I missed ya so damn much…” he says with a shaky voice.
You inhale his scent as he hugs you, which smells of sweat and leather.
You’re home. He’s your Mammon. Finally…
“Mams, I’m so so sorry… I’ll explain everything I promise…”
He pulls you away from him, his golden blue gaze staring intensely at you.
“Damn right ya will! But for now…I don’t care..I just… I need ya so bad… I mean this can’t be real, right?”
You give him a small smile, taking his hand in yours.
“I’m real, Mammon. I promise.”
His tanned skin is flushed as he pulls you with him to sit on his bed, hoisting you up onto his lap.
He can’t hold back anymore as he plants a firm kiss to your lips.
You accept it eagerly.
Your tongues intertwine briefly before he pulls away, breathless.
“I love ya MC, I’m so sorry I couldn’t do a damn thing…”
You silence him with a kiss to the forehead.
“It’s not your fault, Mammon. Please don’t cry…”
He notices your own lip quivering, and let’s out an amused snort through his tears.
“Don’t you go cryin’ on me either!”
His long, slender fingers run through your hair and you sigh.
His lips are on yours once more, a low growl rumbling in his chest.
You can sense his overwhelming desire threatening to take over.
“Mammon’s got ya now, treasure. You’re safe with me. I’m never letting you go again.”
Leviathan
Throughout the search, Levi has been exploring every inch of the Devildom waters.
From seas to lakes, he still could find no trace of you.
Levi heads back to his room, a towel around his waist after Lucifer forced him to strip in the hallway so he didn’t track water through the house.
Once he’s dried off and dressed again, he sinks down in his gaming chair, sighing as his aching limbs are finally able to rest.
Tears welled up in his eyes, disappointed that he let everyone down again.
Especially you.
I’m so useless, he thinks.
A stray tear rolls down his cheek, and he wipes it away with his arm.
A flash of light appears before him, and it sends a tingling sensation up his body.
Wait a minute…that’s…!
His eyes are wide and his mouth gapes open as he looks up to see you standing there right in front of him.
“M-MC, I-Is it really y-you?!” Of course he’s a stuttering mess, but he can’t believe it.
He doesn’t know when he stood up, but suddenly you are slamming into him, wrapping your arms around his torso.
“Yes, Levi. It’s me.” you sob, burying your face into his chest.
Your voice has him melting in your grip.
He finally fully embraces you, burning his face into your hair.
Your scent is slightly different, and he can smell other demons on you.
This sends a wave of envy over him, but he ignores it. All he cares about is that you’re home.
He, however, smells of the sea.
“Levi, I'm so sorry… I promise I’ll explain. I just really need you right now. I’ve missed you so much…”
Leviathan only nods, his shoulders trembling from the sobs that are escaping him.
You stay standing there wrapped in his arms, gently rubbing circles on his back.
After some time, he calms down.
His eyes are red and puffy and his face is swollen. Your heart aches for him.
Suddenly, he grabs your hand, leading you over with him to his bathtub.
You climb in together, and you sit in his lap. His tail curls around you, holding you in place.
“M-MC…can I um, k-kiss you?” he asks, his tear stained cheeks becoming flushed.
You nod eagerly, and he places a soft, gentle kiss to your lips.
Your lips are the same as ever, soft and sweet.
Levi is overwhelmed with affection for you.
“I love you, I love you, I love you…” he mutters, rocking you gently in his lap.
He peppers your face with kisses and you giggle, wrapping your arms around his neck.
“I love you so much too, Levi. I’m so glad to be home…”
He rests his head on your shoulder, purple strands of his hair tickling your cheek.
“Please don’t leave me like that again, MC. I-I was so scared…”
The tremor in his voice causes fresh tears to form in the corner of your eyes.
“Never again, I’m staying right here with you.”
Satan
Satan steps over the pile of books on his floor before flopping down onto his bed.
His bedroom is in quite the disarray due to his last tantrum.
He can’t help that he’s just so damn frustrated!
They’ve practically searched the Devildom inside out, and still… nothing.
He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest as he stares out the window, tears threatening to spill down his cheeks.
He almost doesn’t notice the burst of light filling his bedroom.
The air was practically vibrating with magic when he spun his head around to see the silhouette of a figure in the blinding light.
He squints, trying his best to make out the form. Once the light dissipates, an unfamiliar feeling washes over him.
Satan thought he’s finally experienced every emotion in his lifetime of being in the Devildom.
But what he feels when he sees you standing there in his bedroom is indescribable.
He gasps, immediately jumping up from his bed and hurrying over to you.
Your eyes are locked on him, and he thought he noticed you flinch the moment he approached you.
“MC… are… you okay? Where in the Devildom have you been?”
His voice is soft, but it trembles slightly.
He doesn’t expect answers right away, of course.
Not when you are standing here in front of him for the first time in what feels like an eternity.
You nod, trying to wipe away your tears. “Satan… It’s me. I-I’m home.”
The sound of his name leaving your lips after so long pushes him over the edge.
He pulls you into his arms and he squeezes you tight, finally allowing his tears to fall.
“M-MC… I'm so glad you’re home safe… I was so worried about you…”
You relax against his chest, finally processing the fact that this wasn’t the past version of himself.
After a few moments, you sniff, pulling away from him to gaze into his eyes. You notice a scar on his cheek, still healing from a recent fight he must have had.
You gently trace your fingers over it, and he winces.
“I’m so sorry Satan…the pain that I must have caused you all…”
He shakes his head, glancing away.
“I’m just so relieved you are home, MC. I don’t believe that whatever happened was your fault.”
His fingers run through your hair and he kisses your forehead.
“Can I…kiss you?” you ask, your cheeks flushing slightly. Normally you wouldn’t ask, but it’s been awhile.
“Of course, kitten. But just know if you do, I may not be able to hold myself back from you much longer.”
You give him a smirk, and press your lips firmly to his.
To finally kiss your Satan once more.
He slips his tongue past your lips, and you groan.
When you pull away, his emerald eyes are shining with passion.
“Every book I read told me how to find you, but they never mentioned how to handle your return.”
He moves you to his bed with him so you are straddling his lap.
“But I don’t believe I need any instruction as to what comes next. I love you, MC. Please allow me to express the longing I’ve felt for you all this time.”
Asmodeus
Asmo had made his way to his room for the evening with the overwhelming urge to climb into his silk bed sheets.
But first he really wanted a bath. The thought of the warm water soothing his aching joints was very pleasant to him right now.
He had made his way into the bathroom to start the water, the noise of the faucet drowning out the sound coming from his bedroom.
Asmo thought he heard something, and he lifted his head to the door that connects from the bathroom to his room.
He thought his eyes were playing tricks on him.
Was that a flash of light just now? Is it storming?
He furrowed his brow in confusion, and stepped slowly over to peek through the door.
Nothing could have prepared him for what he saw.
There you were, standing right there in his bedroom.
Your eyes were wide and looking around, still processing where you had appeared.
Asmo gasps, forgetting about the bath and hurries over to you.
“M-MC?!” he shrieks, pulling you into the tightest hug he’s sure he’s ever given.
You begin to cry, tears falling down your cheeks and onto his shoulder.
“Shhh, MC. Don’t cry now, darling…” he coos, but his own tears are escaping him.
He holds you close as you cry together.
“Asmodeus…is… it really you? My Asmo?” you whimper.
He’s confused by what you mean, but he doesn’t question it for now.
“Of course my little lamb, it’s me. You’re home now…”
You sniff, pulling away from him slightly. “I’m so sorry Asmo, I swear I didn’t mean to leave you guys like that…”
Taking your hands in his, he shakes his head. “No no, hon, don’t blame yourself for this. I know there’s a very good reason, but you can explain later to all of us, okay?”
You nod, wiping your eyes.
“I was just about to get a bath. Would you care to join me, MC?”
The thought of taking a bath with Asmo right now feels…unreal.
You couldn’t believe you were finally home with him.
Smiling, he leads you into the bathroom.
First, he steps out of his robe, and your face flushes.
You’ll never get over how beautiful he is.
Then it’s your turn.
You shiver as he begins to undress you, his fingers brushing over your skin.
He smiles softly as he notices the goosebumps that begin to form on your body.
“I’ve missed this so much. Let me get a good look at you, darling.”
His eyes tear up again as his eyes travel over your body, still in disbelief that you were standing right there with him again after so long.
“I need all the time I can get with you right now before my brothers find out you’re home.”
He takes your hand and helps guide you into the bathtub.
You sigh as the warm water envelops you and he places you in between his legs with your back to him.
You feel his arms wrap themselves around you and you blush.“I’ve only been dreaming of this moment with you, MC.” Asmo murmurs, attaching his lips to your shoulder.
You whine as he continues to kiss up your neck.
“I love you so much, Asmo…”
He smiles into the crook of your neck as he holds you close.
“My dear, if anything came out of your disappearance, it’s how much I realized that I love you. Please, allow me to show you…”
Beelzebub and Belphegor
The twins were always together nowadays.
They were both getting ready for bed in their room after their long day, neither of them wanting to speak about the disappointing results of the search.
Belphie hugged his pillow to his chest as he climbed into bed beside Beel.
He was struggling to stay awake, but he had a peculiar feeling in the pit of his stomach.
Of course, being his twin, Beel felt it too. It wasn’t hunger, or anything like that… It was…
“Belphie do you feel…”
Before he could finish, a burst of light filled the room, temporarily blinding them both.
The sensation of magic through the air sent shivers down their spines.
Once the light dulled, they glanced up through squinted eyes to see… you.
Wait, is that really…?
Despite the dull ache in their bodies, they both jump up.
“MC!” their violet eyes are wide as they gape at you, still trying to decide if this was real or a cruel hallucination.
But you seem just as surprised as they are.
Suddenly, you feel yourself being pulled into a strong embrace.
Belphie is squeezed into the hug next to you, and you both glance up to see Beel with tears streaming down his cheeks.
“B-Beel… Belphie…I’ve missed you both so much…”
You sob, burying your face into Beel’s chest.
Belphie finally allows his tears to fall. I’m so lame, he thinks.
How dare you make him cry like this?
But he’s so happy. So relieved.
Beel begins to move you both towards his bed, placing you right between him and his brother.
You whimper as you feel their arms wrap around you.
The thought of being able to do this again with them never even crossed your mind.
You feel Beel nuzzle his face into your hair.
You smelled…different. But there was no denying your familiar scent and it made his mouth water.
Belphie yawned, burying his face into your shoulder.
“Beel and I had each other, but MC… you are our missing piece.”
His twin nodded, placing a soft kiss to your forehead.
“Belphie is right. It feels right again with you here in between us.”
Your heart was so full.
You smiled wide as you kissed both of their foreheads.
“My boys…I love you so much.”
As you laid together, they took turns littering you with kisses and whispering sweet nothings into your ear.
The feeling of their lips and their hands on your body has your head spinning, and you whisper their names between breathless gasps.
After sometime, Beel turned towards you, a glint of mischief in his eyes.
“I’m feeling a bit hungry…but for something different. How about you Belphie?”
Belphie immediately sensed where his twin was going and flashed him a smile back.
“I’m all of a sudden wide awake. What do you say you join us, MC? We want you to ourselves before we have to go back to sharing you.”
#i hope you all enjoy!#for some reason this was so hard to write#i am STRESSED#but i really wanted to finish this!#i am super proud of this series though#hehe#obey me#obey me nightbringer#obey me mc#obey me brothers#obey me lucifer#obey me mammon#obey me leviathan#obey me satan#obey me asmodeus#obey me beelzebub#obey me belphegor#obey me angst#obey me writing#obey me fluff#cass writes
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No Not Nolan's Year in Review
Once again, it's time for the traditional "year in review" post. Since I've also been collecting prior years in these posts: here's 2021, here's 2022, and here's 2023. This year has more than 12 posts, and that's because I posted a few shorter stories to celebrate the release of my eBook.
I'm not planning to abandon this account anytime soon, but I'd be lying if the thought hadn't occurred to me once or twice. Every year I'm not sure how much longer I'll be doing this, but then every year the support and feedback I receive keeps me going. So if you ever wonder if notes and reblogs help-- yes, they do motivate me to keep going. But more than that, I'd encourage you to message the authors directly. I'm not always the best at carrying a conversation, but it really does mean a lot whenever I hear from you all.
17) Side Effects - 71 notes - January 2024 Okay, well... I like this one. If you've already caused a lot of irreversible damage... why stop now?
16) Labor and Materials - 83 notes - December 2023 Sometimes I can just sort of tell the photos aren't what the average people are wanting, but I like the text too much to toss out the idea. Mass commercialization of body swapping isn't a new idea by any means, but I love exploring all of the low stakes uses and scenarios that would appear if that technology existed.
15) Shapeshifter's Night Out - 111 notes - January 2024 Honestly, this one was mostly just an excuse to pull out a few of the weirder photos I'd come across. I think it holds up well enough, though.
14) Fiverr Warlock: Holiday Magic - 183 notes - December 2023 The thing about the Fiverr Warlock series is that a lot of story ideas work better without the added baggage of the lore and narrator. This one holds up pretty well, and the photos do exactly what I need them to do, so I'm quite fond of it.
13) The Ends Justify The Means - 204 notes - February 2024 See, I thought this one was great, especially for the Valentine's Holiday. Sometimes I have no idea what the average reader wants from me, and this is a prime example of that. No regrets, though. I'm never going to apologize for striking more sentimental than erotic.
12) Jock Cock, Part 3 - 219 notes - July 2024 Speaking of which... I can't be too surprised something this sentimental didn't do better. But I still love it, and I don't feel bad about it. (It does, however, make me less inclined to write sequels to other works. My idea about how the story continues vs how people want me to continue the story are seldom in alignment.)
11) Drawing Straws - 235 notes - January 2024 I love trait swapping, and I wish I could get inspired to use it more often. I have to be satisfied with an idea before I'll set it to the page-- it needs to have some amount of characterization and plot outside of "hot guy does a hot thing and it's hot" for me to be happy with it-- so trait swaps don't happen too often for me.
10) Treat Day - 241 notes - January 2024 This is my least favorite of the 5 promo-stories, so naturally it's the one that received the most notes. Revenge swaps are hit or miss for me, but needlessly cruel swaps seldom appeal to me. I like the photos, I like the ending wordplay, but overall it's not one of my favorites.
9) Swap Broker: Social Climbing - 250 notes - October 2024 If there's any story whose low placement on the list hurts to see, it's this one-- I absolutely love this one. Photos, concept, resolution, all of it. Ahh, well. A few people asked me what happened to the original Aiden, which I don't have much interest in writing, but... his father would have given him a one time chunk of hush money, which he would have burned through in a matter of months, at which point he'd probably be forced to start doing hard work for the first time in his life. It's not a happy outcome, which is why it's not a story I'm particularly interested in telling.
8) Jock Cock, Part 2 - 285 notes - June 2024 Like I mentioned for Part 3-- I don't regret writing it, even if I don't quite understand why it wasn't as well received. I'm not sorry for mixing sincere emotions into your casual smut-- it was intentional, and it will happen again. Also I've been doing it for the past 5 years, so presumably you noticed me doing that at least once before? I'm sure it's not a photo issue. Anyway.
7) Spring Break - 313 notes - March 2024 I love it when both parties can get what they want out of a body swap. I've had quite a few stories involving out of touch rich people, now that I think about it-- but then, every idea has already been done before if you simplify it enough.
6) Bodily Betrayal - 319 notes - December 2024 I'm so thrilled to be working with photo-manip artists for future detachable limb stories. You all may not be bothered by my attempts to create suitable pictures, but I definitely am. I mean, look at these pics-- head/body swap? Headless with head in hand? I wouldn't have been able to do that without a lot of practice and training.
5) Trial Period - 351 notes - November 2024 I don't do much with ghosts, and I'm honestly not planning to change that anytime soon. Still, I love the idea of supernatural entities shopping around to choose their next host.
4) This Happens all the Time, It's Detachable - 376 notes - August 2024 This is another one that I absolutely adore, and as a bonus it's a detachable story that requires no photo-manip work whatsoever. Obviously, I had to go with the King Missile reference in the title.
3) Roommate Rehab - 407 notes - April 2024 I still think my photo-manip work is clunky, but it gets the job done, and that's what matters. The interesting thing about writing more detachable works is that I'm really not familiar with any of the tropes. I'm so used to subverting expectations when I write body swap fiction, but it's a lot harder to subvert tropes that I don't know.
2) Rush Week - 512 notes - September 2024 I'm glad this one did well, because it's definitely a lot more vulnerable than what I normally write. It's equal parts sincere and sexy, and I adore it. The thought of what stays with the body and what stays with the mind is one of my favorite concepts to explore with body swapping. On a different tangent, it was a lot harder than I thought it would be to find good photos for a twink model that pass tumblr guidelines.
1) Jock Cock, Part 1 - 732 notes - May 2024 This story came out of nowhere and completely surpassed all of my expectations. I have no idea what it is about this story that appealed to so many people-- probably obvious, given how few notes the other parts pulled. Is it the photos? The idea of using an athlete's body for sex without him knowing? Unfulfilled sex-with-teacher fantasies? I sure as hell don't know. Whatever the reason, I'm flattered.
Above 500 Notes - All Time
1) Jock Cock, Part 1 - 732 notes - May 2024 2) Soulmate Swap - 704 notes - August 2022 3) Gym Merchandise - 654 notes - September 2022 4) Overbearing - 572 notes - May 2022 5) Finals Week - 568 notes - May 2021 6) Group Project - 566 notes - November 2023 6) Revenge, Reversed - 540 notes - August 2020 7) Rookie Mistake - 530 notes - May 2023 8) Rush Week - 512 notes - September 2024 8) Information Overload - 501 notes - August 2021
Well, Jock Cock Part 1 has officially dethroned... uhh, literally everything else. Finals Week, my first piece to break the 500 notes mark, is quickly dropping out of the top 5. And some of these works received random resurgences several months (or years!) later, so that's always fun to see.
Enough time has passed that I have a sort of note rubric to determine success. Anything below 100 notes, I consider flopped. 100-300 is average, and 300-500 is a success. So to have this many stories above 500? It feels pretty good.
Here's hoping next year will see more additions to this list!
Special Mentions
Reunion - 151 notes - February 2024 Once again, @mergeman and I wrote each other stories for Valentine's Day. I do really love the idea of a support group for people affected by body swaps.
I'm always honored whenever I end up tagged in someone's recommended post, and @sanzaibian 's compliment of "someone who writes really sweet love stories ^^" is no exception.
Also, like I said earlier-- I live for compliments and discussion, both given and received. If you've dropped a line or responded to one of my outreach attempts, I appreciate you. If we've talked in the past but it's been a few months since you or I sent the last message-- I'm too ADHD for friendships that follow the constraints of linear time. If we go months between messages, know that I still appreciate you.
Is it too cheesy to end this with a "thanks for viewers like you" sentiment? Maybe, but I'm doing it anyway. I'd be having these ideas with or without an outlet for sharing them, so I really do appreciate the likes and reblogs. Here's to another year!
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my problem recommending Link Click to people
clearly, i love Link Click. i find the show emotionally compelling, the characters are well-written and interesting, the complex/convoluted plot is very crunchy for my adhd brain to chew on. LOVE that. however. i have yet to find a person irl who Sees My Vision when i recommend the show to them, and i think it's the fandom's fault.
not in bad way! but i think this show is a good example of media that exists for FANS and not casual viewers.
season 1 is by far the most accessible. a straightforward story about two guys solving crime by time travelling in photos. don't mess up the past, it could mess up the future, etc etc. everything is linear, the character motivations are pretty clear, the plot is seriously gripping. the only accessibility hurdles are the piss poor subs we had to deal with and the lack of on-screen text translation. and i suppose if you don't like shows that are episode-5-level heavy then this probably isn't the show for you.
season 2 already starts off on a very niche foot with the fact that there was a pretty big spoiler (or a hint at one) in the XETROVERTHINK music video that released before the season aired. fans who knew about that video were already speculating, and by the first 30 seconds of season 2, theories were running RAMPANT. NOW everyone was intentionally looking for hints of time travel mid-season. they were predicting how and when cheng xiaoshi might die. it made an extremely confusing season FUN because even when we didn't know what the hell was going on, we could always fall back on the lu guang timeloop theory to chew on.
but if you didn't see the XETROVERTHINK video? well, you probably weren't paying as close attention to what lu guang was saying in the first 30 seconds. the shot of cheng xiaoshi dying lasted for only a second or two. blink and you miss it. if you didn't rewatch the episode, you probably wouldn't notice. in a show where so many things don't make sense, that could have just been one more to add to the pile.
cut back to all the people that I've forced to watch the show, I can say that they did NOT have the same watching experience that i had as a fun following along on tumblr. which is fine, but they do look at me like i'm insane when i try to explain that this is the most fun show ever created.
after one of my friends finished season 2 i sent him a draft of the fic i was writing for some feedback and when he got to season 2-spoiler specific part, he didn't fully understand that lu guang had gone back in time to prevent cheng xiaoshi from dying, and therefore didn't understand what i had written. he didn't have the fandom, who had been speculating about that for 12 full weeks before the reveal, so as a casual fan, the first time he received that info was in that last 2 minutes of the season, and he didn't full understand it
my younger sister has made it to yingdu, and every time i try to talk to her about it when get to talk about shiguang a lot, but i don't have much time to sit her down and show her frame by frame analyses of why the lu guang vs vein interaction in episode one looks like it might be in two different timelines. she's not seeing that there's morse code in the books or interpreting sonnets or pausing to check the eye color of characters, so when i talk to her about it we're scratching maybe 3% of what the show is truly communicating with us.
and again, it makes me look like a total headcase when i try to explain to people that this is the best show ever and so much fun because if you're not INTERACTING with the show and with the fans, mulling over the minute details in a scene or asking for a more accurate translation of something, it's like you're missing out on most of the show
i once tried to recommend my sister one of my favorite pokemon fanfics of all time. she'd read some others and seemed interested, so i sent her the link and then told her that to fully understand it she'd need to have knowledge of basically every major character in the entire pokemon anime, from kid trainers to gym leaders to Champions to villains to rivals to professors. she'd also have to know how they all relate to each other, PLUS some game characters. i sent her a list of episodes she needed to watch for character and plot relevance and links to wikipedias for other main characters. after she absorbed all this information then she could truly understand why this was the greatest fic ever!!
that's what recommending Link Click is feeling like, currently. like i want you to like this show, i want you to understand this show like i do, but that means you HAVE to be insane about it. there's no other way to appreciate it if you're not in the fandom.
#link click#this isn't super coherent bc its late but its something thats been on my mind a lot lately
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Lengthy ramble for potential tier/restructure post! But if anyone has insight or feedback or advice, I'd be so grateful to hear it! Thank you for your time! 🥺🙏💕💕💖
*copy/pasted from my patrons post!
*Stressing potential again because I might just try to workshop maybe a couple of these tiers?? I'm editing this after a couple responses so far! So thank you everyone for reading and sending your insight in! It's SO helpful and valuable to hear, thank you!! 🙏💖💖
Hey lovely people! 🥳💖 So lengthy and candid post time, but I'm thinking about restructuring the tier prices (specifically the higher tiers, like the Sauce and Honeybear and maybe sketches too)? Currently I am making very little money, so while that is scary it is also sort of the perfect time to test out some change in how I structure things on here! So I'm sort of excited to potentially try something new! The tough thing with selling your own work is always how to price things - and it's the gentle balance of pricing for what you're worth, but also making a good price point that is accessible to more people! So while prices might be lower, the hope is that they bring forward more patrons and therefore I can make more money as well! SO! A Price Restructure of what I'm thinking (and a couple rewards movements from the $2 Tier to the $4 Tier, specifically) (Also the Sweet Pea Tier will be removed) :
✨ $2/month Tier (Buttercup : same rewards, updated here for clarity (bc I need to update them as well))
Access to ALL artwork and their process GIFs as I finish them! (currently only sharing crops on social media and select, older work)
Commission and Adoptables Priority (You get to access slots/designs first!)
Access to Fanart Friday Suggestions + Polls (we try to do them once a month!)
Access to Coloring Pages (as I make them! this is infrequent)
Access to the Patron-Only Discord (it's very chill and just for you and other patrons! And you can share art, music or just hang out if you want!)
✨ $4/month Tier (Cutie Pie : same rewards!)
Access to my sketchbook pages and the bundled pdfs! I post sketches in batches of 10 on here! When I have enough pages, I'll be uploading the pdf of the sketchbook for free for you to download (100 pages per Volume)!
Access to videos! (I'll do speedpaints/timelapses from time to time!)
15% off adoptable designs while they are posted on patreon! (before moving to ko-fi!)
Access to all Licensed Character Designs I make (under the LC tag!) (These are for Personal Use Only - intended for DnD and similar RPG situations! ^ w ^)
✨ Access to Archived Works (this is access to all previous work I've shared for the Buttercup tier that you would be able to see on my website all in one place! Goes back to 2019!)
✨ Early Access to Brushes
Plus all previous rewards!
✨ $6/month Tier (Honeybear : same rewards!)
Access to the Honeybear Discord! A creative motivational group for artists! (I will be active in this discord!)
Activities for personal motivation and fun! There will be blob doodle pages, monochromatic challenges throughout the month, along with a monthly design prompt and a selected study piece!
Channels for just sharing personal work/wips and a critique corner as well for anyone looking for feedback on their pieces!
Plus all previous rewards!
✨ $8/$10/$15/month Tier (Sauce : same rewards!)(edit: $10 maybe? Or even keeping at $15, based on some comments from patrons)
18+ ONLY!
Access to ALL NSFW pieces! Sketches and finished paintings alike!
20% off Store Discount! (For my Print Shop and INPRNT!)
Plus all previous rewards! (this includes the Honeybear Tier Discord and Activities access)!
--- So this an idea of what I'm thinking!
It's all still very much up in the air because part of me wonders if I just need to promo more as well? I also have had patrons tell me in the past that I make a lot of work (even if I panic and feel like I'm not making enough @ w @;;) and that the monthly subscription is reasonable for the rewards already? Ahhh it's just difficult figuring this stuff out, especially while stressing about things! So I appreciate feedback if you're feeling up to sharing! 🙏💖💖 Thank you all so much! 💖💖💖
#delete later?#text ramble post to follow up my last one!#thank you all so much for your kindness and time! ; w ; 🙏💕💕
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We got matching Christmas sweaters. (Ch. 1/2)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d68e3f73f99cf1891e99349428c9c6e2/82faabf169a0a007-22/s540x810/f47467269e64a7e7758b99d893f994313055f42d.jpg)
Relationship: Sami/Jey (SamiJey)
Rating: Teen — Jey has a lot of thoughts & a lot of feelings to go with it, feelings and emotions, inner dialogue, fluff, fluffy but serious, but also, fun and silly, ugly Christmas sweaters, Christmas, slight possessive feelings, established relationship, secret relationship, family
Summary: Jey and Sami have matching ugly Christmas sweaters, it's a secret. Until it's not. Ch. 1 - how Jey and Sami ended up with matching Christmas sweaters. Ch. 2 - how the others find out.
Word count: 2,207
Word count: 2,667
Ao3 link -Ch. 1 Ch. 2 here. / *Other Fics*
A/N: I said I'd write something lighter this time so here it is, and I wanted to try something different. But, I didn't have a lot of time to write this because I wanted to get it out this weekend. I also really struggled to get Jey's voice in this one to where I'd have liked it to be. But hey, even if one person out there enjoys it!! 🥰 PART 2 will be up before Christmas.
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!✨❄️🎄🎁🎅🏻🎉☃️✨ I hope you enjoy this! 🌸🌺
[— I'm not a "writer" —SO...Comments/Feedback would genuinely be appreciated. Obviously I'd really like to know if you enjoyed it - and comments are so wonderful and so motivating as well! 🩷 hit the like if you genuinely like it 😊 I'd love to know if it was any good. Thank you again for reading! 🩷]
Tagging: @afterdarkprincess @fantasyismyonlyrealescape @imabillyami - (if at all anyone wants to be tagged in my silly little fics let me know!)
——
It had been Jimmy's idea.
For everyone to turn up in ugly Christmas sweaters. Good for team spirit, he said, something about team cohesion and unity, and he's somehow convinced them all to go along with it, just like he always does. His older twin, the deceivingly smooth sweet-talker—when he wants to be.
Jey is not exactly unhappy but he's not exactly happy either. Not because he hates the idea, but because he can't actually wear the sweater he really wants to.
Sami and him had jokingly bought matching sweaters while out on a date; Jey had surprised Sami and himself by suggesting it, he'd blamed it on the holiday season, the sentimentality of it all, and the sappiness seeping deep into him because of it. Most of all, it was spending it with Sami.
Walking down the softly lit sidewalks together, pressing closely into each other's side, the cold crisp air chilling, unrelentingly hitting their exposed skin. And, Sami had put his arm securely around him, pulling him in closer by the shoulders making Jey feel warmer, safe and cared for.
Joint through their immediacy, his own arm sneaking around Sami's waist snuggling into him even more gripping him even closer, wanting to be as near as physically possible. Like this.
Check to check, body pressing against body sharing one space, faces pressing close sharing one breath, practically wrapped around each other, and their warmth soaking into one another; giggling and chatting away, about anything and everything, and everything and nothing.
Their smiles and laughs being thrown around with unrestraint unabashed generosity. Free— they were just happy; effervescent, and light.
And, nothing, there was nothing stopping them, nothing holding them back. High on the atmosphere, high on their emotions, high on each other.
A sense of warmth, a feeling of nearness, and a notion of romance, on a cold winter's night...
Golden fairy lights hanging radiantly twinkling all around them adding to the magical enchantment of it all. Walking, talking, taking in and enjoying the festivities around them. Enjoying each other's company, just innocent and carefree.
It's etched into Jey's memory, not by choice, but by pure impact, branded and inscribed burned into his memory, the whole night something precious, unforgettable for him. He knows he's being dramatic, but to him he's really not. Because, this really does mean that much to him, whether he wants it to or not.
Everything with Sami is brand new, everything is heightened, even the things he's familiar with, with Sami it's different, everything seems whole, and everything seems so complete. Like nothing is ever lacking not even a little bit, nothing is ever wanting not even in the slightest.
But, Jey still wants. He wants everything, he wants it all. Everything with this ginger angel of his. Even this one memory alone he could live on for eternity. The rush of feelings and emotions he is being hit with, that he craved. He's never felt so light or so free or so open himself, and certainly not with someone else. But, once again, Sami does the outrageous like always, making him aware of things he's not aware of, breaking down barriers and walls he was never willing to acknowledge, some he never even knew existed, one's he is now free of. Thanks to this red-headed angel before him, looking at him with such adoration and utter devotion in his eyes, shaking Jey to his very core, shivering this time not from the cold, but the heat that's rushing right through him.
Jey can't get enough of their closeness, the simpleness of it, this sharing that's deceptively intimate, a type of closeness he didn't know existed, nor yearned for, or needed or even wanted. His whole life he'd been missing it, but now he's got a taste of it, now knowing what it is, what it's like. He never wants to let it go. He doesn't think he can even if he wanted to.
He's feeling unfamiliarly soft and dreamy, there's something indescribable—surrounded by Sami's touch, his gaze, his voice, his laugh, his warmth, all simultaneously wrapping around him...like Jey's the gift being perfectly wrapped for Christmas, Jey never wants this feeling to go away.
The streets continued to dazzle with elaborate yet simple lights and perfectly crafted evergreen hollies hanging up at almost every window and every door, brightly lit up Christmas trees and glittering sparkling decorations, adorning every inch of the streets, Christmas colors splashed around, brilliantly scattered everywhere. Delighting all your senses. The saying 'It's like Christmas!!' never rang truer.
Along with his Sami, Christmas all around them, everywhere he looked, a rare pleasure they were able to experience and treasure, together, away from the hustle and bustle of work, and life. It was intoxicating. And, Jey hadn't wanted it to end.
Sami agreed, what'd he say?— "Even if I don't "celebrate" Christmas, I want to be here. I want to be here with you, because this is important to you. And, you are important to me."
Besides, according to Sami— "Being away like this, surrounded by the festivities, away from everyone else in our own special little world, for a captivating, whimsical, and beguiling night— It's a potent and exhilarating feeling, Jey. And, just us being together here, experiencing all of this, seeing and feeling it; together, without anything or anyone else. It's so pure, and it's just for us. I get to be here with you and love you, and I wouldn't have it or want it any other way."
Sami had told him, "I'd do it all over again, every year; year after year, again and again; just for you, Jey." - An unintended secret promise of, for always. "I'll do everything I can to make sure you're happy, everything I can for you to only have the best. And, I always will."
And, if Sami secretly overwhelmingly enjoyed this too...that was just an added bonus.
Jey melts at the thought. He doesn't call Sami out on the silent pledge of 'for always', but he's caught it and kept it in his heart and he's never letting it go. No one has ever treated him like this before. He's always been an afterthought, second at best, but never it, never first. But, he's always first with Sami.
Sometimes he wonders if he'd never met Sami— 'Could you crave for someone you've never met? Want them in ways you cannot grasp? Ache for them in ways you cannot understand? Could you miss someone you've never met?'
Jey doesn't want to let this go, let Sami go. Making memories with the man he loves, the man who loves him right back. This overwhelming sensation; enchanting and magical; walking side by side, cheek to cheek, shoulder to shoulder, arm in arm, hand in hand; heart to heart.
It had Jey feeling overly amorous, unduly spellbound; in love, wanting it to never end, wanting to keep sharing this, wanting to remember and capture that moment with Sami, not just then but later too. So the obvious answer was of course—matching Christmas sweaters—something tangible but secretive enough to remember this shared night together.
Sami's entirely too eager fulfilling Jey's suggestion; according to Sami, he's still getting used to the differences between Jey - his boyfriend, and Jey Uso - the hard-ass, bad-ass, no-nonsense Bloodline right-hand man—the prickly Samoan everyone's cautious of.
Jey thinks he should be offended by the description, but he's...he's kind of proud of the fact that Sami thinks he's a bad-ass. Considering, how entirely soft Sami has him now. He does however think, Sami's reasoning for his enthusiastic reaction is—ridiculous enough. But, he'll take it because that's just how Sami is, nothing put on, just altogether generously and genuinely him. And, quite frankly it's adorable. Soft— that's definitely all he is now, utterly soft for Sami.
They haven't told the rest of the family yet, the Bloodline, partly due to Jey's reluctancy, thinking about the level of ribbing he's going to receive from his family over finally bagging the guy he's been mooning over for so long. He isn't even sure for how long to be honest—when did it even start?
If he really thinks about it; maybe from the very first time he had laid his eyes on Sami Zayn. He'd had mixed feelings looking at him, mainly annoying and irritated ones, watching him try to weasel his way into the Bloodline, into his family. But, there was always something there.
The first time he'd eyed that annoying messy red mop on his head he called hair that Jey had wanted to rip out but also run his fingers through; those sparkly shining hazel eyes that sucked him right in even when he tried to look away; the big bright dopey crinkle-eyed grin he desperately didn't want to mirror but also desperately wanted to return right back; those annoyingly exaggerating hand gestures his eyes couldn't help but carefully track as much as he didn't want to; and that tonefully animated voice he wanted to hear more of even when he wished he didn't. It was all so much, and not enough. And so, maybe he was gone from the very first moment he laid eyes on Sami Zayn.
As time has passed, he's more sure now than ever that his family were well aware of it, long before he ever was. They've been there for it all, and witnessed it all.
All those intensely aggressive confrontations, lingering fierce touches and hostile looks, all masked under the pretense of his passionate hatred.
But, now Jey can admit that maybe it had always been about wanting Sami's attention, all of it, not on anyone else, but only on himself, not even his cousin or his brothers. Apparently, he's a possessive bastard like that. He'd wanted Sami only for himself, long before his mind started to realize what his heart had always known.
And, he'd finally realized that maybe all that passion burning inside him, was not hatred but something else entirely, a fire lit deep within right on the cusp of igniting into an inferno so fierce that it scared even him, so he'd pushed it down even further, pushed it down into the darkness, put it down like a wounded horse, calling it dislike. A better option than reality—the daunting alternative, he hadn't been ready to face.
Until, it was impossible to deny any longer. When he couldn't control it anymore. So he stepped out and took his chance before he could snap and self-destruct. Turns out Sami was his saving grace, his missing piece, his calm in the storm.
Even though they had talked about it extensively, Jey is still worried that when people find out about them, they will get Sami to realize that he can and should be with 'someone better’. He can't help thinking that everyone is going to try and talk Sami out of this 'terrible' choice he has made.
Sami has heard all this before and he'd retorted with— "That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard. If anything, it will be people asking you if you've lost your mind, picking me of all people."
Sami had brushed him off, reminding him that everyone respected Jey, that Jey was the catch, that Jey was the inexplicably beautiful one, on the inside and out, and that people either wanted him or wanted to be him —"I'm the lucky one, Jey," Sami had said— that they were going to tease Jey about his choice, not Sami.
And so, Jey chooses the sweater that does not match Sami's that morning, as he gets himself dressed, because a part of him still finds it hard to believe what Sami keeps saying to him, trying to convince him of. Yes, he believes Sami, because this is Sami, and Sami would never lie to him, especially about something like this, especially when it comes to Jey. Sami knows how vulnerable Jey actually is, how sensitive he truly is, he's the only one that knows. He's the only one that sees all of him, and knows all of him. So, Sami wouldn't do that to him.
But, Jey still doubts himself. Still thinks he's not good enough for Sami. No matter what Sami says, Jey knows, Sami is the catch. Even if Sami does not believe it.
Guess they both have doubts about themselves, guess they both only have boundless admiration for the other, and only full and utter devotion.
So, Jey stands there, looking at himself in the mirror, wearing the sweater that does not match Sami.
He's tugging at the front, a small frown marring his face, then at the sleeves, and then at the hem pulling at it with an unsatisfied grunt, nose scrunching up in distaste, he lets go and is rolling his shoulders to relieve the tension.
He isn't feeling it. Not even a little bit.
So, he's dragging the sweater over his head and tossed it on the floor by his bed. He's walking towards his cupboard, and finding his matching sweater to Sami's pulling it over his head and down his torso, running his hands down the front and pulling at the hem, adjusting it to fit just right. He looks in the mirror once again, and gives himself a nod.
This is satisfying.
——
Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed it! Chapter 2 (will have dialogue) up soon! 🩷
#sami zayn#jey uso#samijey#samijey fic#if at all anyone wants to be tagged in my silly little fics let me know!#side characters jimmy. solo. roman. the wiseman.#wwe fanfiction#We got matching Christmas sweaters.#part 1/2#ch 1/2#We got matching Christmas sweaters. part 1#We got matching Christmas sweaters. ch 1#my fics#fanfiction#fanfics#sami x jey#sami zayn x jey uso#wwe
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Hazbin Hotel Rewrite Outline
Ok, I think it's I actually do something about the multi paged document in my Google Drive: I think its time to show you a (very early draft) of how I would rewrite Hazbin Hotel of I was given only the confirmation of four seasons with five and six up in the air. Again this is a very early draft of this and a lot has changed in the full on Six season rewrite, and there's some details missing since I was saving that for the character descriptions, but since that's taking me so long I may as well just post the outline I have in my Google Doc, since having it out there might help my motivation to get the characters done. So hope you enjoy this very rough outline!
NOTE: I just wanted to put this here before everything starts: VALENTINO IS NO LONGER A R*PIST, I just feel like making him one just makes it uncomfortable when fans and staff members like him, I'm not saying it's bad to like him as long as you don't like his actions or him as a person. I'm just saying you just feel guilty for liking him when he's done something so Horrid, so I'm removing that and making Angel's abuser a previous friend who he killed years ago. Also Religious critique (more specifically of Christianity) will be present, not much in this exact outline but more in future more refined versions of this project, I'm not Religious however I have heard stories about people's trauma with Christianity, and I thought it would be fun to explore.
Also put feedback/critique in the comments I’d love to hear it!
Anyway, here we go:
Premise:
An angel attempts to redeem a 1940s mafia drag queen and a 1880s inventor to prove redemption is possible to stop the exterminations for good, with the help of a 1910s scientist turned bartender, a 1950s housewife, and a 1950s TV host, maybe they’ll be able to prove the first man and leader of the extermination Adam wrong.
Length:
Part 1 (Season 1 and 2): 16 episodes (8 each)
Part 2 (Season 3 and 4): 16 episodes (8 each)
Part 3 (Season 5 and 6): 16 episodes (8 each)
Outline:
Season 1.
The Pilot would be a half-episodic/half-character episode where we follow ‘Sir Pentious’ and his struggle with his Bisexuality and him trying (and failing) to prove how ‘straight’ he is (I know it's cringe but trust me I’d write it better hopefully), shenanigans insure. Afterwards ‘Sir Pentious’ would have a heart to heart with ‘Emily’/‘Angel Dust’ about his trauma of being Bisexual in a time that discriminated against Homosexuality/Bisexuality and ‘Emily’/‘Angel Dust’ would assure him that being LGBTQIA+ doesn’t get you into Hell, and that they’ll help him redeem himself.
‘Emily’ would be in the same position as St Peter was in the original show, welcoming ‘Winners’ into Heaven and discussing their lives. However, she then learns about the exterminations and makes it her mission to redeem the redeemable Sinners in Hell.
She speaks to and convinces Lucifer to give her a rundown hotel and a meeting with Satan. After some cleaning up, she recruits ‘Angel Dust’ to be redeemed at the Hotel.
‘Emily’ is able to get an interview with ‘Katie Killjoy’ and ‘Tom Trench’, therefore she leaves ‘Angel Dust’ at the Hotel. In the interview she pitches the Hotel, saying that while there are a lot of Sinners/Contractors who don’t deserve Redemption, there are some Sinners/Contractors who don’t deserve Hell’s Suffering, but it is then followed by a broadcast of ‘Angel Dust’ and his mother protecting their territory, interrupted by Arackniss. After the meeting, ‘Vox’ comes to the Hotel to invest and help ‘Emily’ with her mission and hires ‘Baxter’ and ‘Niffty’ to be staff for the Hotel.
We would get introduced to ‘Cherri Bomb’ and her friendship with ‘Angel Dust’, we get a battle scene of them fighting an Inventor called ‘Sir Pentious’. ‘Emily’ then invites him into the Hotel. The rest of the episode would focus on ‘Sir Pentious’ and setting up his character and development.
The next few episodes will be fun episodic adventures that will introduce ‘Val’, ‘Alastor’ and ‘Velvette’, and will also introduce concepts such as ‘Vox’’s and ‘Alastor’’s rivalry, ‘Val’ and ‘Angel’’s dynamic (because ‘Val’ is no longer a R*pist), ‘Cherri Bomb’’s guilt with not being able to do anything to stop ‘Angel’’s abuser, ‘Velvette’’s spellbook, Respawning, Angelic weapons, Reincarnation, Hellish Curses/Punishments, and probably more. Also tackles bigotry and how it negatively affects people (Lol no this would be in a hypothetical pilot).
It’s revealed that ‘Vox’’s curse is that he has amnesia about his life on earth. When ‘Emily’ asks how they are going to redeem him, ‘Vox’ says that he’s not here to be redeemed, only to invest. Afterwards, ‘Baxter’ has a conversation with ‘Vox’ about the fact that ‘Vox’ didn’t tell ‘Baxter’ about his (‘Vox’) amnesia despite him being the one that people tell their secrets to. ‘Vox’ just tells him that he doesn’t own his secrets, making ‘Baxter’ cower a bit and rethink.
Season 1 would end with ‘Emily’ meeting Satan in Purgatory, and she asks what got the Hotel Patrons into Hell (since only Satan knows what gets someone into Heaven or Hell). Satan explains that ‘Sir Pentious’ was filled with Envy for others around him and destroyed the lives of the rich inventors in the name of helping poor inventors, ‘Angel Dust’ was in the Mafia and he sold his soul to the OG Asmodeus, ‘Baxter’ killed people with his experiments, ‘Vox’ went to Hell because of his deadly and abnormal Obsession with the people around him, and Satan reveals that he actually sent ‘Niffty’ to Heaven. With this information, ‘Emily’ theories that if a Sinner is able to confront and repent their sins, they will be able to go into Heaven.
Season 2.
This Season would focus on ‘Angel Dust’ and ‘Sir Pentious’ and the start of their development, also it would set up everyone’s problems and development.
Explores ‘Angel’’s mafia background, life, and the fact that he sold his soul to the OG Asmodeus so he wouldn’t get cursed in Hell.
Angel’s trauma relating to the abuser he killed 5 years ago, and the fact that ‘Val’ neglected his responsibilities as the ‘Overlord’ of Lust. Something ‘Val’ is trying to improve on.
‘Sir Pentious’ is revealed to be a ‘WereSerpent’ which is why he wasn’t at the Hotel most nights. However, ‘Baxter’ reveals that it’s actually his true demon form and concludes that his Hellish Curse is that he can’t control his true demon form, and it could take him over completely if he’s not careful, like his envy. It’s implied that his extreme growth in his envy and true demon form’s uncontrollability might be connected to his rivalry with ‘Cherri Bomb’.
‘Baxter’ reveals that he used to be a ‘mad’ scientist who experimented and tortured people, who quit being a scientist to bartender in Hell since he felt guilty about what he did on earth, also it would be revealed that he’s a trans male and died by drowning on the Titanic (because it’s a neet Baxter theory).
We would get to see ‘Niffty’’s backstory. Her being a depressed housewife, being sexualised by her husband, and her accidentally killing her husband in self defence, and being shot in the head by the Police.
‘Cherri Bomb’ comes to the Hotel to take ‘Angel Dust’ and the others (except for ‘Sir Pentious’) for a night out after a stressful time with his family. ‘Emily’, God and Adam meet together in Heaven to discuss the progress. ‘Emily’ says that the Hotel residents are doing great, only for Heaven to eavesdrop on the residents and get shown a fight between ‘Sir Pentious’’ true demon form and the rest of the gang, since ‘Cherri Bomb’ convinced ‘Angel Dust’ that they could take on the ‘Rouge Demon’ (since ‘Sir Pentious’ Curse makes it so no one can recognise him until they either see him transform into the demon form or see him transform out of the demon form). After the battle, Adam and ‘Emily’ get into an argument about if there’s a difference between ‘redeemable’ and ‘irredeemable’ sinners, with Adam trying to justify his actions in the exterminations, ‘Emily’ will also bring up how the people she’s trying to help were people who were marginalised people in life, how they wouldn’t have committed the Sins they did if society wasn’t so discriminatory (though that would justify their actions it just explains them), and how people on Earth have been doing horrible things in their name. God brings the meeting to a close, being distressed by the conversation (he would be an omnibenevolent God who hates how people use his name to do terrible things like Bigotry), and tells ‘Emily’ if she’s able to redeem a Sinner by the next extermination, he’ll order Adam to end the exterminations for good.
After the meeting, everyone (including ‘Sir Pentious’, ‘Emily’ and ‘Cherri Bomb’) is walking back to the hotel. ‘Sir Pentious’ tries to apologise and wishes he could control and stop his true demon form, but ‘Niffty’ blows up at him and calls out the fact he’s done nothing about his problems and has done nothing to improve himself at the Hotel. ‘Angel Dust’ tries to defend him from ‘Niffty’, but she ends up calling him out for also not improving much at the Hotel and doing nothing about his own familial problems, and the fact he could have left the Mafia like his sister but he didn’t and just wallowed in his troubles (that doesn’t count his trauma from his abuser since that wasn’t his fault and it would be f*cked up to make him ‘get over it’ instead of letting him heal naturally from it). ‘Niffty’ then says to them that if they actually care about improving and redeeming themselves, they should start actually doing it. ‘Niffty’ finally says to ‘Cherri Bomb’ if she actually cares about ‘Angel Dust’, she would actually help him improve instead of roping him into situations that nearly get him killed. ‘Emily’ confronts ‘Niffty’ about it and tells her that you can’t just tell people to start changing, you have to understand why they haven’t changed and why they have and wallow in their problems.
The next episode would open with ‘Sir Pentious’ and ‘Angel Dust’ in the Sloth Library looking for books. ‘Angel Dust’ laments about how ‘Niffty’ was right about them not actually improving themselves and not confronting their problems. ‘Sir Pentious’ questions if he could actually change himself and worries about the fact it might be too late for him to change since his true demon form has taken over his life so much, and questions if he should just give up. ‘Angel Dust’ refutes him by saying he’s not too far gone yet, and he still has time, and encourages him to continue, which ‘Sir Pentious’ agrees to. Meanwhile, ‘Velvette’ is able to make a potion that is able to get rid of a Hellish Curse that can only be made every 100 years. However, instead of using it on himself, ‘Alastor’ plans to use it on ‘Vox’ because his morbid curiosity about ‘Vox’’s past life has turned him insane. He succeeds and the episode would end with the TV’s in Hell turning as they begin to display his past life.
Season 2 would end by showing ‘Vox’’s past life, his traumatic childhood in a cult, his job as a TV host’s assistant with his superior stealing credit from him, him being quite obsessive with the people around, and ‘Vox’ being killed by a falling TV falling on his head in front of a crowd, hence the amnesia. At first ‘Alastor’ is thrilled to finally have the answers about his rival’s past life, however, seeing ‘Vox’’s distraught face, he starts to regret it, but before ‘Alastor’ can apologise ‘Vox’ disappears. The Season would end with a news broadcast that the extermination will be happening in 3 months. Which leaves everyone shocked.
Season 3 and 4.
‘Angel Dust’ and ‘Sir Pentious’’ development would speed up quite a bit.
‘Angel Dust’ confronts his past with the mafia and his crime family. We will be shown flashbacks of his life and a scene where ‘Molly’ leaves the crime family in life due to wanting to live an honest life. ‘Angel Dust’ would resolve these issues in the Season 4 Finale.
‘Sir Pentious’ confronts his envy for ‘Cherri Bomb’’s power, and tries to control his true demon form. This would complete itself in the Season 4 Finale.
‘Cherri Bomb’ shares her backstory of being in a traditional household, running from home when they found out she was a Lesbian, becoming a punk rebel arsonist, selling her soul to the OG Moloch, and blowing herself up with fireworks, killing her. She would also be able to let go of her guilt of not being able to stop 'Angel Dust''s abuser.
We would see throughout Season 3 and 4 ‘Vox’ having nightmares and suffering an identity crisis with ‘being a fraud’ and not even knowing it. ‘Baxter’ and ‘Emily’ would comfort him about it and he would be able to be in a Season 4 Finale.
In the Finale of Season 3, ‘Val’ would get stuck in ‘Angel’’s mind. He then witnesses ‘Angel’’s abuser metaphorically Assaulting him. This would completely warp ‘Val’’s perspective on the situation.
Also in the Season 3 Finale, ‘Velvette’ finally out how to make Angelic steel that could permanently kill an angel with ‘Niffty’’s blood, and the recipe to make it, and it’s revealed that ‘Niffty’ is an ex-angel-executioner.
We get to see ‘Val’’s backstory of being emotionally neglected, selling his soul to the OG Asmodeus so he can be as Pan as he wants and do as many drugs as he wants, and how he dies of a drug overdose. He apologises to ‘Angel’ for not understanding and not being there sooner, and rips up ‘Angel’’s contract afterwards. (Note here: I'd try and make 'Val' a commentary on the Cycle of Abuse, but I toned it down into just neglect/neglecting of responsibilities).
‘Baxter’ would go through a small arc where he realises that he doesn’t own anyone’s secrets and people want to keep some secrets to themselves. (maybe this will be scrapped IDK).
‘Velvette’ reveals her discovery of angelic steel that can permanently kill an Angel. She also reveals that ‘Niffty’ was an exorcist Angel.
We finds out that ‘Niffty’ became a fallen Angel when she questioned Adam’s view on sinners and actions and Adam sent her down to Hell by accident. At first ‘Emily’ would be mad at the fact she didn’t tell her, but would forgive her quickly. (this may be out of character for ‘Emily’ so this also might be scrapped).
At the end of Season 4, the cast would defend Hell from the extermination and Adam would lose and be forced to retreat. After the battle, ‘Sir Pentious’ and ‘Angel Dust’ would be redeemed and allowed into Heaven, proving that redemption is possible to ‘Emily’ and Heaven.
Season 5 and 6.
These would be clean up seasons, it would complete ‘Baxter’ and ‘Vox’’s character arcs. Show ‘Sir Pentious’ and ‘Angel Dust’ afterlives in Heaven, and Adam’s redemption arc. Also, it would complete ‘SirDust’ as a relationship (because yes it would’ve been trying to happen I was just focused on other things and Yes I ship ‘SirDust’ it’s better than ‘HuskerDust’ because both ‘Sir Pentious’ and ‘Angel Dust’ would have masks to hide their true selves and traumas and they could help each other with that).
‘Emily’ would help ‘Baxter’ confront his past as a ‘mad’ scientist.
‘Vox’ would learn to let go of his feelings for ‘Alastor’ and move on.
Adam would reassess his views on sinners and we’d see his backstory of being let into Heaven and redeeming himself, as a result feeling guilt and regret for how behaved on Earth. Also he would see his two sons kill each other in an extermination. As a result he gained a hatred for Sinners and would always try to justify his actions against Sinners.
Season 5 would end with seeing ‘Sir Pentious’ and ‘Angel Dust’’s afterlives in Heaven, and would end with them confessing their feelings to each other and finally kissing.
Season 6 will end with ‘Alastor’ going insane and the gang has to fight him. ‘Alastor’ and ‘Vox’ reconcile with each other and ‘Baxter’ finally overcomes his past, and they’re able to redeem themselves and go to Heaven. Afterwards, Adam apologises to ‘Emily’ and has learned some Sinners can be redeemed, ‘Emily’ forgives him, they hug. THE END.
The Outline is Finally out! Again, there's a lot of things missing or different now. In the current Six Seasons version I completely changed Sir Pentious' curse, I'll be making Niffty a Sinner again and give the Angel reveal to someone else since I realised none of the Women get redeemed which I didn't intend it just happened and I want to fix it, I might make Cherri Bomb and Patron and make Vox the more distant one (since in my brain storming Cherri Bomb is a lot more fun to write than Vox), I will swap Adam with Eve, since she could open up a lot of interesting story potential since she was the one who gave humanity free will and went through pain to keep the human race going, so it could make an interesting dynamic, and also might be giving Angel's trauma to Val since Angel's could focus on the mafia thing and maybe learning to truly understand people, there wouldn't be a fear of victim blaming Angel for something that wasn't his fault, and I wouldn't feel bad for sexualising Angel since he wouldn't be a abuse survivor anymore.
Edit: there would also be a lot more scenes of the characters lives on earth and explaining why they got into Hell, I just didn’t put a lot them in this outline.
There's probably more but I'll put edits in if it comes to mind, but I need to go to bed now. Hope you enjoy this while I get the character descriptions/rambles done.
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel au#hazbin hotel rewrite#hazbin hotel angel dust#angel dust#baxter hazbin hotel#baxter#hazbin baxter#emily hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel emily#hazbin hotel sir pentious#hazbin sir pentious#sir pentious#sir pentious hazbin hotel#niffty#hazbin hotel niffty#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin vox#vox the tv demon#hazbin cherri bomb#cherri hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel cherri bomb#cherri bomb#alastor#hazbin alastor#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor hazbin hotel#valentino#the vees
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peach. Peach. PEACH
I am going to reblog part 2 of compass with my usual incoherent rambling in the tags, but I need to get this out of my system
I am IN LOVE with the world you're building with Compass - all the little details and nods to things in canon and the way you write all of the characters. And the SETTING and just EVERYTHING
I'm in awe of you, I really am; you're so talented and so wonderful and Compass is an absolute gift just like all your writing is
ROXYYYY
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a612a01e8d0649b466bd663fb0fd4b89/dfb2927fa54bc7a0-86/s540x810/ee07e1c168e310cc12e4db4d28bfec3aa020be1b.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8d25b41e61ca45bc11ea11206aa5eb32/dfb2927fa54bc7a0-cb/s540x810/76e5ffa083e4ed3f3e0f5f4c4ef205d41d09771a.jpg)
I don’t even know where to BEGIN with this — I guess thank you??? But that is no where near enough???
I’m so, so glad you liked it and I’m so grateful you took the time to read it!! This feedback is truly a dream and it means so fucking much to me. I know it takes time to get through a fic, but to pull out all the details that stood out to you??? You are a true gem of a human being, and the reason I find motivation to keep writing omg.
Yes!! Big Sanemi and Genya chapter!! It was really important to me to showcase Sanemi’s motivations and Genya is such a sweet baby. As long as I live, I will write them happy together (Phanta excluded bc shhh).
AHH THE COMET PARAGRAPH!! That actually almost didn’t make it into the final draft — mainly because I’d written it but had NO idea where to fit it in (I do that a lot, actually lmao). I guess it’s a good thing I squeezed it in!!
But thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for reading — and for giving me such detailed feedback. Truly, it helps me not just in the sense that it tells me you enjoyed it, but it makes me a better writer to know what sticks out. So thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
I love you so much bestie 🥺
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Hey there! I've come across your art ever since I got into Risk of Rain 2 (better late than never, I've been sleeping on this game for years, jesus), and I'm enamoured with it, to say the least. Is there any advice you could perhaps give for an aspiring artist?
you're getting an essay whether you like it or not.
tl;dr of it if you dont want to read
- learn how to take critique
- dont skip fundamentals
- tracing is okay*
- be mindful when drawing
- you wont see good results for a long time
ok firstly, glad you like my art! i try my best on pretty much everything i make so the compliment is greatly appreciated!!
secondly, you have NO clue how much i love yapping about how to draw. im not an expert on how-to-draw-ology but i like to think i know enough to help other people not swing in the dark when it comes to getting better.
learning how to take criticism is THE most important part. not getting butthurt or at least listening to peoples critiques when they mean well is critical to improvement because its specialized advice for you. you have no clue how many young and/or new artists have gotten mad at me for giving critique when they specifically asked me for it. if youre looking to improve you gotta bite that bullet. not all criticism is valid(dont listen to people who are just tryna make you upset), but good and valid criticism can come from anyone. dont unvalidate someone's critique just because theyre not an artist or "not as good" as you. try and get as much feedback as you can and move onto the next piece instead of fixing something to perfection. you will get obsessed in a very destructive way.
learning fundamentals is another step to getting better. that means actually learning perspective, hands, anatomy, and all of the other stuff people hate drawing. its like lifting weights. most people dont like it but if you want to get stronger you need to put in the time to do the painful stuff.
chris christodoulou(ror's composer) actually made a similar comment about the topic of improvement in his field that was along the lines of "if you want to write music, stop playing video games and read a book". he got a lot of shit for saying that but honestly its true.
you need to treat art as a discipline if you want to get better at it. draw as much as you can for as long as you can before it becomes a health hazard. when im not resting i tend to draw at least three hours a day, not counting the 3 to 6 hours additional hours a day i draw during college. obviously a beginner doesn't need to draw that much but drawing daily is a good start.
if you want resources on where to look for fundamentals, Sinixdesign and Ethan Becker were who I turned to for advice that is relevant to the industry. There's definitely others out there but I tend to do more self studying so i don't know the more recent stuff.
something that they'll bring up is that tracing isn't bad AS LONG AS YOU DONT POST IT AND CLAIM IT AS YOUR OWN. it's a good way to see how other people deal with stylization, but its absolutely not okay to post that stuff online. treat it like how traditional painters do master studies. its for your own education, not clout. and you shouldn't be drawing for clout anyway.
last but not least, draw what you love and you'll always love drawing. dont be afraid to hyperfixate and lose interest in things. it will help you continue your art journey. a lot of people in my art school have little to no motivation to draw outside of college because they have no interest in drawing outside of assigned work, which is not a great relationship to have with art if you want to pursue it in the long run. draw what you want to draw when the motivation hits you. if that motivation is risk of rain? draw it. if it's leg muscles then fuck yeah draw that too.
you can stick fundamental practice into your casual art by being mindful of what you are drawing. that can be done by asking questions about what's going on to further the progress of your art. its kind of hard to explain in text, but its basically just keeping in mind how your lines influence the piece.
in the beginning youre going to have ideas and none of them are going to translate to paper. its going to take years before anything will ever compare to whats in your brain and thats just the sucky part. ive been drawing seriously for about 5 or 6 years and theres still a ton of shit i do NOT wanna touch but i have to if i want to improve.
we're all sisyphus pushing that goddamn stupidass boulder and the only thing we can do is acknowledge how far we've come while still knowing that there's more work to be done. but thats kind of the shit that i live for.
#askbox#the framed perspective series#framed drawing#and framed ink#is really good as well#if you have the money for the books#i highly recommend reading them. i attribute a lot of my own success when it comes to fundamentals to those books#ALSO study other artists and how they draw so you can steal what you like about it for yourself#thats a good way to develop your own style
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I saw a couple versions of this going around and the one by @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed spoke to me most. Though I have only just started writing, I want to take note of this moment in time to look back on in the future.
1. List of works published this year:
In order of posting, these are the fics I published:
October: this night is sparkling (don't you let it go)
November: freaky friday
I've published 4.274 words this year, and have written around 30-40.000.
2. Work you are most proud of (and why):
I started writing in October when I needed a new way to engage with the fandom, so I’d say I’m most proud of that—daring to try something new and putting my work out there. It was an entire process for me (more like a massive therapy session).
3. Work you are least proud of (and why):
In November, I challenged myself to write every day because I wanted to find some kind of routine or consistency. For two weeks I managed to get words onto the page continuously, but it became apparent in my writing that I was pushing myself while burned out. I wouldn’t say I’m not proud because even if I have not yet figured out how writing can work for me, I at least tried.
4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:
I’m still a bit too self-conscious to post a real excerpt here but my favorite is probably the ending of freaky friday and the banter and magical elements in this night is sparkling.
5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:
Getting positive feedback was more than I had expected and exactly what I needed to keep writing. One person said,
I'm very excited to have found such a wonderful new author to subscribe to, your writing is so lovely and evocative and you really get so much emotion in, which is just what I want in a cute little fic like this ❤
I think about that comment often.
6. A time when writing was really, really hard:
It became hard as soon as the novelty of writing and publishing two fics had worn off. I’m still trying to find a space where I’m motivated but not overwhelmed, where writing is challenging enough to be engaging but not to an extend where I'm pushing my limits too far.
7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:
What surprised me most was me writing freaky friday because it happened one evening when I was feeling really low and the first draft just flowed out of me like the antidote I needed. I was taken aback by how writing in present tense had me wide awake, with my mood lifted.
8. How did you grow as a writer this year:
I’ve already learnt so much in the three months I’ve been writing. About technical things, about how fan fiction is part of fandom, how my brain works when it comes to writing. Allowing my work, and in extension me, to be seen despite my massive social anxiety has been the biggest growth for me, I think.
9. How do you hope to grow next year:
I hope to get to know myself more when it comes to my writing, to find out what works for me and what doesn’t. To preserve my enjoyment of the process.
10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):
Right after publishing my first (non-smutty) fic, I wrote a second smutty one for which I thought I’d try having a beta. @jaywriteshome kindly offered to help and I’m still so grateful for her patience because to say I was going through it would be an understatement. Having someone else read my writing and give feedback on it made for a couple of restless nights, but was so worth it for the connection it created.
11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:
I'd say my need for an escape, for a softer, gentler reality showed up in this night is sparkling and a fic I have yet to finish. Freaky friday was subconsciously an exploration of gender-related topics for me.
12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:
Writing can be hard, and it can be even more complex in times of high stress or long-term burnout when you want more than anything to put words onto paper, but your brain doesn’t cooperate. I’m still learning to lower the demands I put on myself, and not link my self-worth to non-realistic levels of productivity.
13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:
I have to tread lightly here because my motivation is easily spooked and I have this immense need for autonomy that bites my ankles as soon as I only think about communicating any concrete plans. So I’ll say I’d lean towards yes ;)
14. Tag three writers whose answers you’d like to read. ;)
If you see this and want to share your version, please feel free to tag me—I'd love to read about your process! I'll tag @jaywriteshome, @liminalkittyfics and @holdingontochaos <3
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As a writer in the SNK fandom, how do you push through the discouragement from lack of engagement? No one comments on my works and it makes me really sad. At most, I’ll get one comment whenever I post something and it’ll be something like “Please update!!” People always say “write for yourself” and I do, but if I wanted to only write for myself, I wouldn’t bother posting my work. I had a work with 30+ chapters and whenever I posted, I would get hundreds of hits and no comments. I abandoned it because posting made me insecure and anxious. I write for other fandoms and don’t have this problem there, so I don’t think the issue is my writing.
Hey there!
First of all, I'm sorry to hear about the lack of engagement you've been getting on your work. That really sucks, and I know first-hand what that's like. My own work doesn't get much traction at all, either, particularly in the SnK fandom, and I don't know why that is. Whether it's people simply being too lazy to comment, or too entitled, thinking they're owed someone's work and effort and shouldn't have to pay it back in any way, or if it's some weird insecurity on their part, not wanting to comment because they feel shy or something. But I have the same issue you do, and I'm certain it's got nothing to do with the quality of the writing itself, for either of us. Sometimes I think it's because I'm not writing what's "popular", i.e. Levi/reader fics, or Levi/Eren or whatever. I don't know. I feel like most people just want to read smut, but I'm not into that at all. I updated and/or posted three new chapters for my AoT fics over the last, couple days, and I've gotten a grand total of 2 comments, I think, lol. And whenever I post a chapter or a one-shot here on tumblr, I'm lucky if I get one or two likes, and I almost never get a single reblog. It's super discouraging, and I don't blame you at all for abandoning your own writing. I've felt very often like just quitting when nobody can be bothered to leave any sort of comment, or the most they can manage is a one word comment, or a demand for an update. Hardly anybody bothers to actually tell you what they liked about a story or a chapter that you've posted.
To be honest, it's not easy to continue on when you just aren't getting any feedback. As you said, if people that write fanfiction were just doing it for themselves, they wouldn't bother publishing it online. Fandom thrives off of engagement and interaction. You'll get people whining about a fandom dying out, but then they don't lift a finger to try and keep it alive. I understand not always having the time to leave a comment on something, but once in a while would be nice. If someone is interested enough in your story to click on it, assuming they enjoy it, they should make the effort to let you know.
Mainly, I end up motivating myself just through my own passion for the source material and/or character I'm writing for. It's the same with my analyses posts. I get very little engagement, most of the time, with those, and I work pretty hard on them, too. But I keep writing them because, ultimately, I care about the media I'm analyzing and want to work out my thoughts and feelings about it. It's nice if somebody interacts with the posts, but generally, I don't expect it anymore.
It's harder with fiction, though, because while analyses posts can be seen as something more academic in nature, fiction is a form of entertainment, and so you assume people are reading it to enjoy themselves. Well, if they're enjoying it, then they should let the creator know they are.
Anyway, I feel like I'm not giving you a very good answer here. Basically, the way I keep writing, even when I don't get any engagement, is just by being interested in the source material and characters myself. So if I'm writing a story about Levi, at the end of the day, it's because I personally love his character and find enjoyment in writing for him, creating different scenarios to put him in and bringing them to life, etc... But again, it's not easy. I can't tell you how often I just want to quit. Some days, I think I will entirely. Art is meant to be shared with other people. If nobody wants to read your work, or isn't willing to let you know that they're reading and enjoying your work, then it's basically the same as telling a creator that they shouldn't bother. There's a certain level of responsibility, I feel like, from readers. They should, at a certain point, feel beholden to leave a comment if they're enjoying your work and regularly engaging with it. It's the least they could do. It takes a lot of work to write fanfiction, and nobody is getting paid to write it. The payment is when people actually tell you what they think.
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Omg hi!!
This may come off as a bit late, but I just wanted to tell you that after reading chapters 1-2-3 of your Wakfu fanfic Collision in English, I FELL IN LOVE WITH IT 💖❤️❤️
Seriously, this might just be one of the best Wakfu fanfics I’ve ever read on Wattpad (AO3 is a whole other breed 👹💕) of all places and I’m so grateful I even came across it thanks to you on tumblr!!
I just finished reading chapters 4 and 5 right now AND I NEED MORE ❤️❤️
I don’t know how you did it, but you perfectly did everything right! You managed to properly convey some of the sadidas’ opinions about the eliatropes, you even showed an elite eliatrope’s perspective on their history (from their days back in the Genesis era to today), you portrayed each character so accurately, and you managed to fill up what we were missing before the season 4 finale.
Honestly, I think you’re extremely good at what you do and I love the way you had the idea to start the fic right before season 4’s final episode.
You make my day everytime you upload and it’s always worth it 💖💖💖
Thank you so much for even finding the time and energy to translate the chapters!! 💕💕💕
Mmm, ok, let me take a moment to...
Cof cof, ok, I'm fine☕️💦
Thank you SO MUCH for giving it a try to Collision, and for your quick review, it means A LOT 🤧💙💚. I've been following your neat blogs and reviews for a while now, and let's just say that I've been taking notes 👀☕️💦 So I can say that most of the development is thanks to your analysis influence 👉👈💙💚
I've been a little concerned about how the English version is being received, cause I still don't have much feedback there, and I've been posting the translation feeling that is not 100% accurate, but doing it anyway for that part of the fandom's sake, cause I wanted them to read it too, even though I know my English is not perfect 🤧👉👈💕
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/8f5b215e3f883d76ff69f9b9db994578/65d5683a3b82b70a-13/s540x810/070d1261387e353efb1765de2a135312afeaf0a9.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6ea08ad1314f4bfa2fb35744e09eee67/65d5683a3b82b70a-2e/s540x810/b726ad7d4aff7837941722003130831ff88bcf24.jpg)
The Spanish version, on the other hand, is receiving more feedback (depending on how juicy is the chapter) and it has already 32 chapters that I've been writing and posting on the go, and it keeps going. So, don't worry, you'll have more juicy content eventually 😏☕️✨️
Or maybe in a few minutes... 👀💦
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/a597c5c63b836fa33f56aa901ad77ea3/65d5683a3b82b70a-69/s540x810/eb276248c8c56a9382c6c26a14994200e19c21fe.jpg)
I decided to post the translation this way so I could take time to manage both versions, keep posting on AO3, keep making art, and post to my social media, while I deal with my real life and keep translating...
I'm fine, really👉👈💦
So your feedback and support mean to me MUCH MORE THAN YOU THINK, and refill me with motivation to keep up the hard work 🤧🤌💙💚
Thanks again for passing by and giving it a chance 🥹💙💚 Please do not hesitate to give me your opinion, or suggestions, that also help me to improve and defeat the creative block that I get sometimes 😅🫠💕
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