#But they've known each other for a long time and have been through similar stuff but responded very differently to it

[dropsnectar]

Bee-men Stuff

Hi Everyone! So I've been getting alot of attention for the bee content I was making! I just want to thank you all for reading! However, it looks like my fanfic might have made the original author uncomfortable, so I was thinking of just making my own universe for bee monsters and other things! If I'm honest, i’m more into world building, and fluffy stuff anyway. So, if I do write anymore stuff, just assume its this new universe! Here are some thoughts I've been having!

Bees have long had spiritual associations with life and even being messengers to the gods. Because of this, you will find that most Bee-man have a grasp on certain magics, especially when it comes to making honey. This universe is set in a world where monsters are the norm, and often live in colonies in forests or their natural habitats. Humans can be found anywhere as we are a pretty sturdy species and there is often mingling of the species. While there are mostly human cities, there are some that are filled with monsters or other humanoidish creatures. 

Bee-men are pretty rare, as insect monsters usually have to be imbued with sturdy magics to survive out in the wild and upkeep their large physical forms. Its how they are able to fly and be light, while also having some strength!

Bee-men are kind of seen as an endangered species by other beings, due to their rare essence, so there is rarely an overlap of territory between monsters. This also has to do with their honey making skills.

Bee-men are very good at making honey, and do so in a similar way to normal bees. Their territory is often filled with huge flowers, often magical ones that like to travel about. This is how they evolved some of their magics. Their song, difficult to hear for most humans, has been known to calm the rogue nomadic flower into compliance. 

Bee-men are also known to keep normal bees! They often mix their own honey with theirs to form certain concoctions, or just food variety for daily life. Bee-men love sweet things, though cane sugar itself has been known to give them indigestion. Give your local Bee-man jams, or fruit tarts and he will be so happy!

Honey has also been associated with mead, an alcoholic wine made from honey. Irl bees are very stern about drunk bees entering the hives, and contaminating their own honeystores. They've even been known to tear limbs off! But Bee-men have a sort of complicated history with alcohol. In old times, when Bee-men didn't have to worry about their numbers, their would be long, three day festivals, usually on the Queens birthday, where all bees of every class would take shifts working or partying it up on their special mead with their Queen. Their meads natural magical properties also help the drinkers with better speech(Think Kvasir of norse mythology), where Bee-men would take turns telling their Queen and the crowd stories, or share in musical song. There have been times in the past where other beings have broken into the hive to procure this magical mead, in hopes of hitting it rich. For this reason, many hives don't make much mead anymore.

Much like normal bees, Queens are usually made within the hive by feeding an egg Royal Jelly. However, the hive that I will be focusing on has had issues being able to secrete Royal Jelly, as they have been so long without a proper Queen.  

The hive has been able to survive due to surviving off of human product, since honeystores have been low lately, but this has weakened the hive considerably.

Hives are able to take a human queen only if they have the proper pheromone type to interact with the hive. Bees communicate through pheromones, which is why Bees are often covered in a lovely lemony scent. Thats there pheromones and them talking to each other!

Bee-men in the hive are constantly aware of each others emotions, and it is not uncommon for them to be able to use their magic to sooth each other. Their pheromones can make eachother(and humans!) Very calm and relaxed(Or excited… we will get to that later:)). If a Bee-man is around a human long enough that he is acquainted with most of the behavior of your pheromones, he can somewhat talk with you telepathically! Although the most this can do is share emotions, and occasionally images. This isn't very efficient, so many bee-men have learned how to speak human language. 

Bee-men actually have a really interesting origin! Like how I mentioned before about Bees being messengers of the Gods, their was one who loved bees so much he fell in love with one. He gave it human form and their children became Bee-men, hence their innate magical abilities and somewhat humanoid appearance. 

Bee appearances can vary alot! A bees appearance can often effect their skill, and a lot of worker bees or drones share similar features. They have human like faces and are covered in fuzz! Some have several sets of arms, and all have long wings. They can get mistaken for fae sometimes, but the yellow and black fuzz gives it away. Also, their skin has varying textures per where you touch them, some parts are hardened, while things like their inner arms and palms feel more like skin.

Bee-men tend to stay together but there are times that bee-men will leave the hive willingly, or be exiled. In this case it is very important they find a mate or family unit. Much like bunnies, they die easily of broken hearts, and need to have their daily cuddle sessions! They also need to share their pheromones, so it is more often that they create mate bonds with humans. This can be difficult for our little bees, because very few humans are compatible with their type of magic. Its even harder to find a human who is compatible to be a queen.

Thats it for now! I might make a post about their hierarchy and some more stuff. Anywho, if you want more bee media(more smut focused), go ahead and check out @bunnis-monsters ! Also, again I am creating a wider universe of monster and magic stuff through here so if you have any questions, i'm open to it! 

[ben-marco]

This is such a weird area for me to be in... I stepped away from RAMCOA spaces for some time due to life circumstances. I was glad for stuff like the discord server I got into originally with legion as it's been a place that I actually feel safe taking about my trauma in but a lot of the shit coming out about Legion has soured me to all of this. I did find out stuff about my own trauma, stuff I know is true and have worked through in therapy.

Seeing people talk about worries people were pushing them into thinking they'd been around others or had experienced traumas they didn't makes me worried we may have in part made people feel that way. Anyone who was in a specific area when we were we wanted to know if they saw us because we were so desperate to find others to tell us we were right. And we did eventually actually find someone we had known off and on, but really it was dumb luck- and beyond that incredibly reckless and dangerous. I don't blame any of the people there currently but for a period of time there was just.... sort of a culture around trying to find others and spending a lot of time and energy on that which I understand but should have also been stopped sooner than it was.

I just feel so weird about everything coming out and how things are going I don't know how to feel and I just... idk it's weird. It makes me second guess myself more even when I know that what I did experience in my own case was true. Legion never had any say on my traumas either, because I never was involved in anything she was. But it still makes me worried. It's basically just... anytime conspiracy theorists end up damaging the perception of RAMCOA survivors it further makes me shut down and question myself even when I'm working on starting a legal case. I also now have a large amount of anxiety and paranoia around the idea that it may be possible that Legion could have taken some of our vents since we had been off of tiktok so long we would have never noticed them claiming our life story as their own. And that somehow makes me feel the worst out of all of this.

Hi anon,

I've gone through something similar-- questioning my memories and history after being around someone particularly unsavory -- and I hate that you're going through it too with Legion.

What helped me the most was getting away from social media spaces focused on RAMCOA/OEA/OSDDID, which it sounds like you've already done. I needed some time to myself to truly untangle what was mine and what was not, to get back in touch with my own system and my own experiences without input from others. It was difficult but worth it. And it's good to hear that you were able to work some of this out in therapy!

I think another thing to remember is that echo chambers...are echo chambers. It's really, really easy to get into the rhythm of these spaces and it just becomes this cycle of people convincing each other of things. I think it says enough that you're aware of / wondering about whether you may have pushed someone into thinking a certain way. At least with the way you've written this ask, you don't sound like someone who would have done that intentionally. You sound like someone who got caught up in an echo chamber during a vulnerable time in your life.

As for being worried about Legion having potentially co-opted your vents or your story...I'm afraid there's nothing anyone would be able to do about this and I know, for me, it wouldn't be helpful to worry about whether or not I had missed a TikTok post where they had claimed part of my story or co-opted one of my vents. Sure, you can take it upon yourself to look through all their posts, but they've also deleted so many of them over time, and had other accounts...not sure how helpful or healthy it would be to spend a lot of time thinking about that, although it's understandable that it would be concerning.

I told another anon that their trauma is theirs no matter whether or not Legion is a bad person. Your trauma is yours regardless of whether or not Legion has tried to co-opt it somewhere.

[valentinesparda]

Hey Valentine!! Been thinking about DMC lately and was wondering if you could tell me some stuff about your DMC s/i? :0 perhaps what their relationship with Vergil is like? -[Wayfinderships]

@wayfinderships OH BOY OH BOY IVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT DMC RECENTLY TOO !!!! i miss my half demon husband. it sure has been a whole hot minute since I talked about gabriel in general, and it sure has just hit me that you and most of my current mutuals completely missed my dmc era, so!!

gabriel is my self insert, and they are a collector of demonic goods, a purveyor of powerful artefacts, and they meet vergil shortly before dmc3 is taking place, mostly because their paths cross through happenstance and they offer up information for him. they're around the same age as the twins at this point during the timeline, the two of them are kind of friends and kind of bickering back and forth, and eventually when Vergil Goes To Hell, they kind of dig themself into a hole of work since they're the apprentice to the actual collector they have been working for

um to make a long story short these are bullet points:

find a particular artefact associated to a general of hell named haures, who has his own little plans and manages to take possession of gabriel gradually over time, for the most part they function like they green goblin talking to his own mask

haures corrupts them and essentially demonizes them so they functionally stop aging / age so slowly that it isn't really noticeable

they are also hearing from haures about mundus and sparda and are doing their own little research, maybe in hopes of coming across that one weird white haired dude they met before

their research brings them to fortuna when nero is a little kid !! will expand upon that when i get back around to dmc4

they cross paths with dante a lot!! and he is their friend somewhat

the whole time they're doing all of this they are like actively dying from haures and have to stay in tip-top shape otherwise he will actually kill them!! but no one else can communicate with haures so he's just kind of their intrusive thoughts

badabadaba dmc5 rolls around and v shows up and suddenly it's like they're 20 again and experiencing feelings

anyways gabriel's relationship with vergil was initially a little fling for the short time that they knew each other when they were younger, and tidbits of that are echoed in meeting v. like gabriel wouldn't admit to it and they think they're doing such a good job of hiding it but everyone they know can SEE how they act

and then suddenly vergil is back!! and they are a dam in the process of breaking!! the two of them proceed to bicker like an old married couple and most of vergil's time spent as v winds up being mental anguish and maturity and confronting his own human emotions, so even though they are continuing on that leftover thread from when they were younger and they didn't spend very much time together, it's like they've known eachother forever. like they do care about eachother, clearly, but they're overall very sweet in their own ways and completely awkward in navigating their relationship and feelings. because they are eachothers first love or something. yucky. I'm not approaching the lady in red topic right now because if I do then I have to do mental gymnastics but it's fine, we'll just loophole it

anyways blah blah gabriel and vergil are like. aggressively embarrassed in how they interact with each other, because they're kind of too similar that it's funny, but they do genuinely like eachother. maybe it's just because they were each other's only friend when they were in their teens and were both being manipulated for someone else's gain lol. and after vergil's stay in hell and subsequent Speedrun of the human existence he calms down a little and lets himself learn to love, not just romantically but like, familially. he gets to learn about the people that he left behind again and the one he's never met before (his son), and that is just. so important to me

so gabriel is kind of the only person initially rooting for him, even if they would rather swallow glass than be vulnerable, but they can also have vergil help them control their corruption and possibly use haures to their advantage because i had it set up where he was yeah, a dumbass trying to usurp the throne, but I wanted to plan a whole plot surrounding him and maybe lore connecting him to sparda, specifically

I know i joke about them bickering and being unable to function as real people but i have a very special place in my heart for vergil, not just favourite character wise but also self ship wise. im personally very hardheaded and dragging my real feelings out of me is like literally pulling teeth, so I've hidden a lot of my affections behind jokes and that kind of is also reflected in how I talk about vergil. but i did eventually open up about it and that's where the handfasting ceremony came from. i finally just accepted that i loved him as a character and ive been trying to unlearn my bad behaviors and learn that it's okay to be vulnerable, and not to hold everything in all the time

i like. rambled but its to avoid having to voice how their relationship is in full detail, so all i really have to say is that it's complicated but also plainly simple how they work together, how they love. they do deeply care about the other, and while it takes some time to let the initial feelings go unsaid, they are at their center both very lonely people who have put their trust into someone that they can see themselves in, who know how the other one feels and expresses feelings, with the addition of v functioning as an a-ha moment for vergil while gabriel has had 30 years to think on the guy they first loved - and proceeded to immediately fall back in love with upon seeing again

[hermannsprecursors]

Hetalia x Pacfic Rim AU official stuff yay!

HERE I HAVE ACTUAL REFERENCES FOR THIS AU INSTEAD OF JUST SCREENSHOT REDRAWS. PLUS SOME EXTRA STUFF. THIS IS GONNA BE A LONG POST. SORRY. LMAO. HERE. MERRY CHRISTMAS. PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU WANT MORE BECAUSE I HAVE OTHER CHARACTERS AND LIKE. ACTUAL PLOT ESTABLISHED. THESE ARE JUST THE MAIN GUYS

PILOTS

EXTRA STUFF: -Did I not tell you? This is an Ameripan au! Yippee! -Alfred has universal drift compatibility-- meaning they have the capacity to drift at least semi-successfully with everyone. However, he's had a pretty bad track record, and most of their drift partners have had serious accidents befall them. They quit for a year after his carelessness caused Lovino to get hurt. -Kiku went through a HEFTY breakup with Casper before being thrown into a partnership with Alfred (I'm not immune to nedpan propaganda, dear viewers). He is very bitter about it. -Kiku worked tech and development for about 7 months before being partnered with Alfred. -Initially, they were incapable of drifting. Alfred forced them to be able to. -Technically this au's Mako and Raleigh if you're keeping track of canonic similarity

EXTRA STUFF: -The two ended up really disliking each other initially. They've since grown on each other. -Initially, though, a lot of that dislike was just because of a language barrier-- that being Casper refused to speak anything but Dutch or occasionally Japanese and it just confused Matt. They're better now! -These lucky bastards have THE most recent model of Jaeger known to date, and by far have the fanciest tech. -Not only are they drift compatible, they're also compatible via star sign. Matt thought that was really funny when they first got together. -Roderich regrets pairing the two every single day. Alfred and Kiku may be this au's main couple but these two are the most chaotic duo and everyone hates it.

EXTRA STUFF: -These two are just. A mess. Both are absolutely RIDICULOUSLY traumatized and no one knows how they're still able to drift or how they're drift compatible but they make it work. -Nobody knows if they're dating or if Feli is just really clingy. It's very much so the latter, they're just besties. Feli just doesn't know boundaries. -Feliciano walks with a limp considering he has pins in his knee keeping it together via brace! Let's hear it for accidents while piloting -Also all of the burns and scars Ludwig has ALSO comes from accidents while piloting. Said accident kills his brother. Like I said, traumatized. -Literally NOBODY knows how they got put back in the Jaeger program. They literally just showed back up one day and Rod was like "eh alright, let's test them for compatibility because the world is gonna end in like 2 weeks"

SHATTERDOME STAFF

EXTRA STUFF: -And they're all married! (Well, Elizaveta and Roderich are married. Antonio is just there. Gilbert was also part of the polycule but he's dead lol) -Roderich has NO idea how he ended up in charge, but he's been the director of the Shatterdome since 2018 once he started to develop symptoms of MS and couldn't pilot anymore. -Elizaveta hasn't been able to pilot with anyone but Roderich and she's PISSED at him for it because she wants to PILOT AGAIN, DAMNIT -Roderich will greenlight literally ANYTHING, considering he has 8 months of spending, it burns up in about 3 weeks as of the starting date of this AU's story, and he has NOTHING to spend it on -Yeah Roderich is officially in charge but Antonio is really the one who makes most of the important decisions which is DEFINITELY for the best

EXTRA STUFF: -Science guys! (Which is SO weird considering Arthur and Francis used to be ACTUAL pilots. Like, plane pilots) -POINT AND LAUGH AT THE DUMB BRITISH MAN WHO'S DRIFTED SOLO WITH A KAIJU 3 TIMES (they're technically clinically insane at this point and Yao and Francis have no idea how they're alive) -Arthur was removed from active pilot duty after it was revealed they were exposed to radiation during early testing, as they were one of the test pilots in the Jaeger program, courtesy of the RAF. Francis was supposed to take their place but wasn't compatible with any open pilots. -Yao is HONESTLY the only sane one here and nobody knows how considering he's surrounded by FREAKS. -Also Yao was the only of his family to do the science-- all of his siblings went into actual piloting. -Yao and Arthur are technically the Hermann and Newt of this AU. Again, only if you're looking for like contingency with the actual plot of Pacific Rim

EXTRA STUFF: -These two aren't related in any way they literally just work here. Both are victims of Alfred's bad luck streak though! -Seriously. Alfred's trauma from previous drift experiences wrecked Ivan's psyche so bad he's incapable of drifting and had to move to munitions and Lovino was partially paralyzed after a mission gone wrong (same one that ruined his brother's leg) that Alfred couldn't be there for because they were ill. -Lovino gets to run missions for other people now so he just gets to sit and be petty over a microphone all day now. -Ivan WOULD have universal drift compatibility if he didn't undergo such psychological trauma. Plus he just really isn't well and should not be anyone's drift partner. -Lovino on the other hand only ever drifted with Alfred and her brother. In fact, Vino and Alfred were partners (both drift and romantic partners) for about a year and a half before the accident

YAY THERE'S CHARACTER STUFF! PLEASE TELL ME IF YOU'RE INTERESTED IN ANY PLOT STUFF BECAUSE I LOVE PACIFIC RIM STILL AND I WANTED TO COMBINE IT WITH A FANDOM STILL VERY VERY VERY SPECIAL TO ME

[felassan]

Thoughts/wonderings on the Dragon Age: The Missing issue 1 preview pages (Dragon Age: The Missing #1 spoilers at link), under a cut due to spoilers (please note post contains spoilers for front pages and synopses of subsequent issues beyond #1 as well):

I know it isn't new, as we saw her before in this piece of art, but I love Evka's design, like her hairstyle, her facial markings, etc.

Evka and Antoine is a pleasant surprise, I'm looking forwards to spending time with them and learning more about them, and I hope they both make it out of the issue alive.

going by the presence of two other characters (that resemble Teia and Viago) on the cover of #2, it seems Evka and Antoine are the companions for issue 1 only, but still, the composition for the adventuring party of issue 1 is such a treat. No humans, and dwarf-heavy!! I'd like to see more of that sort of thing in DA going forwards

about that. Evka and Antoine in #1. #2 has what looks like Teia and Viago on the front. #3's synopsis says Varric and Harding run into a pair of Veil Jumpers, and I wondered here if they could be Strife and Irelin. based on this I have wondered if each issue of Dragon Age: The Missing features a different cameo of 2 of the 'newer era', 'Tevinter Nights & similar' characters, perhaps even representing different factions? [Wardens, Crows, Veil Jumpers/The Triangle Guys, ?]. a) how fun, and a neat way to re-feature and expand on these characters before DA:D b) could we be seeing these folks in DA:D? c) who could it be in The Missing #4?

I like Varric's dialogue, I can hear 'his voice', u know? he seems so tired and on-edge in this. :[

So, if something has been dragging the people of Marnas Pell away / abducting them, the title could have a double meaning. It's not just Solas who is kinda 'missing', that Varric, Harding and the Inquisition remnants are looking for. these poor people are missing as well. if so and since that's the title of the whole series, not just one issue, that could be a plot thread that runs through all 4 issues

Varric and Harding's dialogue "Stop him, what else" / "But you were his friend, right? Maybe you could, you know, talk to him?" exchange nicely reflects the Solas choice Stop/Redeem at the end of Trespasser

"It fits, though. A refuge in the ass end of nowhere. He's really gone down in the world", Varric pls, the shade

"You were his friend, right?" reminded me of when the Inquisitor can ask Varric in Haven 'tell me about your friend Anders, the mage who blew up the Kirkwall Chantry'. poor varric, he must be so tired and feel so guilty feeling like his friends keep ending up doing stuff that isn't good for the world either with his involvement or under his nose without him knowing.

the light/dark shading on Varric's face feels quite intense compared to the others. it emphasizes for me how on-edge and stuff he's feeling/acting

Has Harding's hairstyle changed since DA:I? ^^ she wears it in a long braided ponytail now? reminds me of the Harding-esque dwarf in this DA:D concept art

interesting, they're in the Deep Roads with those familiar dwarven statues, but when Antoine is looking at the wall, that looks like a carving of a human-sized figure on a horse

"A tall, dark figure, emerging from the Deep Roads to drag the unwary to their doom" 👁️

"There could be a human or an elf down here, using the place as a base for whatever terrible scheme they've concocted" 👁️

the shadowy figure at the end 👁️

I guess if they told Evka and Antoine, they would probably become people Solas does know, not 'people he doesn't know', and the Inquisition remnants are trying to keep their operations secret and uninvolved people out of harm's way. I also wonder specifically what lead it is that the Inquisition remnants had that sent Varric and Harding down here after Solas in the first place. is it just Varric & Harding looking into these, or are there other groups of known faces investigating others?

about the kidnappings, and the possible it's darkspawn/maybe it's not darkspawn stuff. we know that darkspawn take female captives during raids and take them into the Deep Roads (the origin of Broodmothers). in the novel The Calling, the Architect's darkspawn captured and took captive Warden Bregan. ofc that doesn't mean it's darkspawn, especially since Evka and Antoine hadn't sensed any yet, just that it's not unknown that darkspawn kidnap people. is whatever/whoever's taken the people doing effed up experiments on them? is there any connection to the underground monsterpools from Horror of Hormak? how does it link into the plots of subsequent issues e.g. going by the Venatori presence in the synopsis for #2, maybe it is them who are the culprits?

could investigating the kidnappings be why Evka and Antoine had been recalled to Weisshaupt in TN?

also I'm just so excited! Obviously we knew that this comic was coming, and that it's stated to be a DA:D lead-in. but it's still just so exciting to finally see the DA:D storyline, or the prologue thereof, finally kicking off (things like TN & the short stories were great but more in the vein of bridging content between things, this feels more like 'Chapter One').

[sizzlingpatrolfox]

do you think its ageist/sexist to find it uncomfortable when jikook shippers are in their 40s+ and have husbands and kids? i just feel like if they were truly satisfied with their relationship they wouldn't be living vicariously through 2 guys in their 20s (i know they would deny this but that's literally the psychological underpinning of shipping). like i get older women have hobbies and can still be in fandoms thats fine, but the shipping seems to be coming from a kind of sad/creepy place. especially because they're 20 years or so older than jimin and jungkook but constantly talking about how attractive they find them

for younger women shipping can be very unhealthy too of course but it makes more sense for them to be living out their relationship fantasies through celebrities because most young women haven't found a long term partner yet

Sexism for me is a really serious issue. It really doesn't matter if a woman gets called dumb because they like a ship as long as they can vote and go to school and aren't confined to a hut when they're menstruating because their culture deems them unworthy if they bleed. There are extremely difficult and serious issues women face as to consider calling middle class Becky "hag" as misogyny.

Same goes for age. I'm sorry if you feel offended that someone said you can't be shipping men at your big age. Kim, there's people dying. It's not a big deal. I've told I was too grown for some things and I really dgaf. So I can't feel empathy for someone who gets sad because someone told them they're old to be part of boraland.

I'm young, but not so young. Sometimes I even get uncomfortable at myself for still liking a celebrity so much. Likewise, I do get uncomfortable and think it's interesting (for lack of a better word) the amount of adult women in shipping spaces. The craziest thing is... they're always the most delusional ones, the ones with the theories and the analyses. 90% of them are straight women, too. I'm not saying this because of jikookers only but of course taekookers, and larries too. I was in the larry/one direction fandom, and the "big blogs", the most known shippers, they were all well above 30 or even 50 years old. It's literally the same with the few "big" jikookers and taekookers bloggers/twitter users that I know.

I think there's a lot of misconceptions and misunderstandings that have to do with culture changes. I mean, there are as many types of relationships as there are people in the world. From what I've seen, the forms of friendship that we see from kpop idols, are very different from what male friendship looks like in the US. I'm from LATAM, and a lot of the friendship I see between kpop idols is the same or very similar to the forms of friendship in my country. I also went to an all girls school all of my life, and the skinship and familiarity you develop with people of the same gender in environments like those (say, school/trainee life) are very different from other environments. So I've been hardly shocked with the things I've seen in BTS and kpop in general.

Adding to the current differences in cultures, there's the difference that comes with time. A relationship in the 1950s does not look the same as relationships look like now. A friendship in the 1950s doesn't look the same either. Men and women in general act so much different than they did 40, 50 years ago. I once told my mom something about vaginas that I had been talking with my female friend and she was surprised and told me "when I was your age, we didn't talk with friends about that stuff, we didn't even know that part of the body existed".

What I mean is, sometimes I see shippers talk about Jungkook grabbing Jimin's ass like it's something straight out of porn when it's literally just guys being guys. Or when people were screaming GAYYY at the fact that Taehyung tried to go to pee with Jimin. I would literally bet my entire right arm that they've all seen each other naked. I'm 28 too and my friend still pees with the bathroom door wide open even when I'm at her place.

This isn't to confirm or deny any ship, but it's something I do wonder about a lot. If a lot of the conviction some older women have about ships, has maybe something to do with them being easily impressionable with young people's relationships. I personally have family members that work with people half their age, and my family is constantly SHOCKED by the things the younger ones do and say. Because it's just relationship dynamics that my 45 year old aunt didn't know or experienced.

There's also the fact that "I've been married since 1970" shippers are the only ones who are so adamant that yxz ship is in a long term relationship. And I'm like... of course if a long term relationship is everything you've ever known, that is the only thing you will see because you just wouldn't recognize anything else. I've talked about it before, but I personally think the assessments of someone's who's been out in the world and has had many different types of relationships are actually more valid than the opinion of someone who's been married for the past 40 years. Times have changed. There's no way I'm ever asking for love advice from my mom, for example. I'm sure she wouldn't understand half of my relationships.

I don't like using personal experiences because I'm just one single person in the whole wide world, and my experiences aren't really statistically valuable in the grand scheme of things, but in this case I'm using examples just for the sole purpose of saying "this stuff happens".

On the other hand, something I've always thought about and is actually some sort of self criticism too is.. why male ships? Why is it always that women are shipping MEN? Okay, straight women of course wouldn't think of two girls having sex because they're obviously not interested and the idea doesn't excited them at all. They like men so men having sex is something they actually want to think about.

But even lesbians and bisexual women all ship men instead of maybe just... look for female couples? It's why I never believed people when they say they seek "representation" in jikook or other gay ships. You are a lesbian, girl. Find lesbians to represent you, not men that you believe could be queer. We're not even talking about men that are out lmao, because if they were out queer men that loudly advocate for queer people, then that's a different story.

I think this brings into light too the fact that (something I've talked about before too), a lot of female shippers don't actually have any idea of what male friendships look like. Everything is romantic, everything is sexual and everything is gay to them because two men do it. But if they were to see the exact same action between two girls, it would just be girls being girls. I say it's a self criticism thing too because I've always been aware of that. I could see two girls holding each other boobs and I wouldn't even blink. But I know when men do stuff like that it comes across as more shocking. And I think that's precisely the reason why it's always male ships, why even lesbians and whatnot don't think twice about other women's relationships. Because they know in depth about women's boundaries with each other, they understand female relationships better and they have also experienced lots of skinship with other women that wasn't romantic, even if it was intimate. But their understanding of men falls short and so everything is exaggerated and blown out of proportion simply because it's unknown or unseen for a lot of women.

[gabyharrisonx]

"What happens if I'm not sure?" She repeated the question as she bobbed her head to the side. It wasn't a question that anyone had ever asked her before, so she never really had to think of an answer. In the years she was sober, she wasn't really just drifting along what life had to offer. She really tried to live it, even the ghosts of her past became a part of it. It was like a challenge added to life, to her sobriety - a constant which she had to battle to make sure she was strong enough. Was it something she did for herself? That wasn't an answer she had either. "I guess, maybe that's why I stay out here longer?" It was a question she didn't expect him to answer. "Maybe it's a sort of security for me to just ponder on those thoughts until they go away? Until there is a clear distinction between what's real and what isn't?"

Perhaps it was the time for her to tell him that things get easier, it's what others would have done, no? But then Nate had already gone through it before so he should have already known what it's like for him when it comes to dealing with the twelve steps. "Aah." She ran both of her hands through her hair as she laughed again. "If you ever think of something that actually makes it better, let me know. For now - the only thing that gives you a high is really good sex. But it has to be mind blowing because otherwise it just doesn't do it." She grinned, now her head turning, so it was facing him.

Nate still looked good, she always thought that. Years, of course, had done its thing, but instead of making him look worse, instead of his previous addiction doing its toll on him.. He still looked just as good as she remembered him to look like. That was her opinion, along with the people of this place. And possibly a few next ones. "If you need a scale, aim it somewhere to the kind we used to have." She continues on the topic on the matter-of-factly. It's not an invitation per se, it's a fact. "Before your big head say anything else - even if you did get better, a partner is important. So fuck you and your ego and just listen to someone who is not freshly off from whatever stuff you've been taking." A grin for her, as she looks into his eyes.

"I'm fine." Her tiredness was long gone. "No, you were the one who fucking loved them. I still remember having to watch you perform concerts." Which she joined in most of the time. It was good fun.

His next question, however, doesn't leave her speechless or shy, rather it doesn't give any change in her features. "Separately or together?" She asked, though it felt both of those answers were obvious. "Separately, we'd both be working for NASA. I'd bet in some strange way we'd have met up and you would have ended up training me." They've always had similar dreams, it was what brought them together. "Together, a house and probably our two kids. But that's not something to fall back on." It wasn't real, and it wasn't something that was ever going to happen. Nor was it something Gaby ever thought about; simple a solid truth of what they discussed when they were young, but all of it was tainted with the drugs, the alcohol, the nasty words they threw at each other with ease. "I really loved you back then, so it doesn't seem strange." Any of it.

At some point his focus had shifted from the stars to Gaby, it's one that's joined by a soft crease of his brows whilst he listened, knowing that whichever way it was looked at, she clearly needed to talk to somebody professional. It's another thought that has him again thinking that it wasn't his place to tell her that. Gaby wasn't stupid - she was intelligent - so Nate knew that she knew that. As her hand points up towards the sky his blue eyes followed, his attention pulling away from studying her features to searching out in wonder of her game. "What happens if you think one's real and it's not?" he asked, clearly his question had more of a meaning than finding stars or satellites, he was asking her what happened if she couldn't recognise her own dreams from reality. Sue him for doing so, but he cared and there was a large part of him that didn't want to see Gaby hurting herself.

He smiled lightly as she laughed, feeling that he just knew why she was. Them both talking? It was as weird as it wasn't in this moment. "Yeah." he breathes out, nodding his head softly. Giving in was the easy option and it was one he had wanted to take, it's one that still lingered in the back of his mind considering how fresh his own recovery process was. "Yeah like an itch you can't scratch." he mused, nodding faintly in agreement with her. He got her, though he probably always would on that front.

Nate turned back to look at her as she started to hum a song, a light smile appeared back on his features, unable to help himself actually. Though that was more when she started singing bits and pieces. It was bizarre - not the fact that she was doing what she was - but because it was gone three in the morning, still dark, and here was this interaction. "No... you're just tired." he laughed softly; genuinely so. "You still listen to U2?" it wasn't really a question, not really. "You ever think where we'd be if we weren't tragic and fucking annoying?" his question this time was there to be answered, it wasn't ever one he had thought about, yet right now he thought to ask. Call it sleep deprived and spinning back to her relation of struggling when it came to being fucking tragic and annoying. Nate didn't mean anything by it and actually? He knew Gaby well enough to know she'd know he wasn't out here with hidden meanings, because the truth was, he wasn't.

[heuristicallyinclined]

I have somewhat organized my Bronya thoughts. I have a lot of them and have put them under a read more as a courtesy.

Bronya is such an underrated character who really grew on me over time with how complex she is. While I really do love the mom jokes as much as the next person, to say she’s the mom friend sells her short, even if it’s partially the way she presents herself. I think that her being perceived that way is very “safe” for her in which she is seemingly conforming to jadeblood stereotypes and having people see what they more or expect protects her and her cloister from more scrutiny. I think that she and Lanque are similar that way in which they both use masks for protection and both want to be perceived a certain way, though for different reasons.

Bronya’s route was more of a world building route and we learn more about the caverns than her character and I think it’s really interesting that we learn more about her from other people’s routes (Elwurd, Lanque, Lynera) than we do about her on hers. She and Elwurd dated and she took her role in the caverns seriously and that caused some friction and ultimately it was a large factor in why she dumped Elwurd. Whether it’s because she wanted to or she felt like she had to is another matter. Elwurd also mentions how Bronya always wanted to talk about her feelings and during their argument, Bronya stresses emotional honesty and communication. But then when we meet her, we see in her own personal life and route she isn’t exactly super open regarding her thoughts and feelings and occasionally has to catch herself from it. Granted, Mspa Reader is an absolute stranger and an alien so there is reason for hesitation. However, Lynera isn’t exactly subtle about her crush on her and Bronya never addresses it and more or less seems to be avoiding that topic entirely.

I think that Lynera’s crush on her makes her profoundly uncomfortable, not just because it isn’t reciprocated, although that is a decent amount of it, she can’t really address it because of what that would mean she’d have to confront what she’s being seen as. Lynera very much has put her on a pedestal to a bit of a dehumanizing extent as she is seen as this paragon of jadeness by her, and the thing is, that is in fact the mask Bronya has chosen to wear. She wants to be perceived as a model jade with nothing to inspect or hide to keep her nursery safe and other jades safe, but seeing Lynera fully view her the way she has wanted to be seen to almost the extent of being a parody of herself is just a lot. She is fully Bronya™ to her.

I don’t even really think she wanted to be Bronya™ so much as just Bronya, the girl who used to sneak out, to go to parties, do dumb shit, and go on dates with her girlfriend. She is still a young adult who likely from the point of being a teenager had to step up/ felt like she had to be the one to step up and be responsible for the rest of her cloister and grubs under her care and that her becoming Bronya™ really ended up alienating her from the rest of the jades and none of them really seem close to her. Daraya and Wanshi seem to view her as an authority figure, Lynera adores the person she’s spent sweeps projecting as, and the person who knows her best, Lanque, doesn’t really like her anymore and views her as a hypocrite. Despite their implied messy past, I do think that strangely enough Lanque is the person she is closest to since he’s the one there who actually seems to know her best even if he does dislike what she’s become. I think that her trying to help him find his place in the cloisters is somewhat of a projection of her having to find her own peace there and how she gets it. She’ll likely have to keep it up too to be put in any position of power on a cloistered planet so that she could continue getting to take care of the jades in the way she wants to. I ultimately don’t think she regrets the role and is genuinely devoted to her jades and cloister, but she had to give up a lot of herself for it and that couldn’t have been easy for her. 

I really like the idea of writing a fic where Mspa Reader notices her starting to get worn down and invites her out of the cloisters to hang out with them. If Elwurd and Lanque’s route are any indication, she’s still got it and has no problem getting out of the caverns. Though she might claim it’s a privilege of being a head jade and one that she would never abuse. I know one of the members of the Hiveswap team once said that their good end is how they perceive/ what they view as friendship being and in her route, that’s her being able to take care of their wounds. She even says if she can’t take care of someone, she isn’t sure how they can ever be friends. I just want to see her be on the receiving end of it. I don’t think she would take the bait for a “me day” on her own so I almost feel like they’d have to get her to take care of herself/ let them help her by making her think she was taking care of them. She just does a lot and has been through a lot and I want to see her get care too for a change.

Just… Bronya.

[thevindicativevordan]

On Livewire

You know Leslie is probably the most popular and well known female Superman Rogue mainly because they use her so heavily in outside media.

Which makes sense given her debut in Superman: The Animated Series, but it still kind of fascinates me. They didn't bring her into comics continuity until 2006 apparently, with Gail Simone and John Byrne (Byrne of all the creators!) being the ones to finally fold her in. Even after they brought her in, they still have never given her that much attention or focus which is a disappointment for me frankly, because Livewire is honestly fantastic in Scott McCloud and later Mark Millar's Superman Adventures runs, and I would say with complete sincerity that those two are probably her best writers. "Millar writing a female character well?" you scoff at in disbelief. I know, I was shocked too! But she's funny, clever, and a huge pain in the ass for Supes. Reading how she was used there, and rewatching her STAS incarnation recently, really made a big realization for the character hit me like a lightning bolt (couldn't resist):

She's basically an evil superpowered Lois Lane! I know I can't have been the first one to realize that, although I haven't seen anyone else actually outright state it anywhere, but c'mon it's so obvious! She's a reporter of a sorts as well thanks to being a disc jockey, her debut in STAS even has her interviewing Lois and Clark! She's got strong opinions on Superman that conflict with the general opinion about him (Lois being pro-Superman when everyone else is more hostile towards him at first, Livewire being anti-Superman when everyone else has embraced him as their hero). She's rude and abrasive, and doesn't care if her opinions offend people, which sure does remind me of Lois at her meanest.

Livewire to me is an examination of what Lois would be like if she abandoned her morals or never really had them in the first place. Leslie doesn't care about the "truth" which is the big difference between her and Lois. Lois can be headstrong, willful, and outright rude, but it's all in service of her pursuit of higher ideals. Livewire doesn't care about that, she carries about getting people to pay attention to her, and getting the recognition and wealth she believes she's owed.

What I'd Do With Livewire

It wasn't until I had that big realization about Leslie that I figured out what role she should play with regards to Clark: She should be Clark's old college ex who was the one who got him into journalism in the first place.

Clark's college years are unexplored territory narratively, typically we jump from his childhood in Smallville right into his debut in Metropolis. Now I know Clark dated Lori that mermaid back in Pre-Crisis during his college years, and while that's a fun bit of trivia, it doesn't really add anything meaningful in the same way that I think Leslie and Clark dating could. So I'd rather go with Leslie because I think she makes for a better foil for Clark and because the two of them would benefit from having a deeper connection established, plus Leslie could get fleshed out as a character more.

I like the explanation that Clark chose journalism in part because it challenges him in ways his powers can't, but in the comics they've rarely bothered to explain how he chose that field in the first place. I would have meeting Leslie at college be that big moment where he starts to figure himself out. She's assertive and confident, and Clark is attracted to that for similar reasons he's attracted to Lois. Leslie would start out as an optimist and idealist in the same way Clark is, and the two would bond and go into journalism together, with Leslie being the one who really believes in the field initially. They'd both be big believers in the duty of the press to inform and the presses ability to shape public opinion, with Clark attracted to investigative journalism and Leslie attracted more to broadcast and digital journalism. They start to date and for a moment, Clark seriously wonders if this is the one.

The big break between them comes when Clark and Leslie go on a trip around the world during their senior year of college. That trip would be where both of them learn how crappy the world is. Clark always had some idea of how bad things were because of his powers, but the trip is where he really starts to realize that there is a real need for someone of his powers to step up, and that there are hard limits to just how much he can accomplish as a member of the press. That same realization is what shatters Leslie's idealism and optimism. She loses faith in the ability to make a difference, to punch through the wall of public indifference, and as a result she gives up that dream. Instead she decides that if you can't beat them, join them: she switches instead to telling the masses what the powers that be want them to hear in exchange for money, to saying whatever the masses will give her attention and prestige for, embracing tabloid journalism that prioritizes clicks and engagement over information. Ultimately it destroys the relationship between Leslie and Clark with her viewing him as a sap and him viewing her as a sellout.

I think that origin really would help flesh out her worldview and motivation a lot more. She's a former idealist who has been broken by the world in a similar way to Poison Ivy. Leslie thus acts as a foil to Clark and Lois in that she's someone who let the world rob her of her idealism and sold out on the truth in exchange for material success. She's what Clark or Lois could've been if they took Lex's offer to work for him, and they should recognize that to some degree. Clark should have conflicting feelings for her, not romantically that relationship is dead, but in terms of sometimes he wonders if he's just wasting his life trying to fight for truth and justice. So few people seem to care about those principles, why hold on so tight to them? Why not just look out for his own self-interest the way everyone else seems to? It's the refusal to give up even when it looks pointless that makes the two of them different, and makes Clark a hero and Livewire a villain.

How I'd Like Livewire To Operate

There's a lack of imagination in how Livewire is used on the comic side as I see it.

Like most Superman Rogues the typical Superman writer doesn't seem to have a clue what to do with her beyond generic "villain" stuff, but that does a disservice to what Livewire brings to the table. Livewire does want to fry Superman to a crisp, but that's not what her daily goal is to accomplish. More importantly, she wants respect and she wants money, and the way she gets both is not by trying to rob banks, it's by leaning into her background as a media personality combined with her new powers. Unleashing electric bolts is honestly the least impressive part of her powerset in terms of her ability to manipulate anything and everything technology.

The Internet? Livewire can crash the entire thing with ease, or restrict access to portions of it. She can do the reverse and smash through firewalls and encryption like it's made of paper. Imagine Livewire shutting off the power grid or causing it to explode, secretly using your "smart" tech to record your every move, uploading ransomware to every piece of technology in Metropolis, emptying the bank accounts of anyone who annoys her, or bringing Metropolis to it's knees thanks to the "City of Tomorrow" being a test ground for the Internet of Things, so everything is connected and thus easily manipulated. Smart cars crash into each other, elevators randomly drop, trains are unable to stop and simply accelerate onward unceasingly, plans attempting to land find their instruments on the fritz, anything and everything is Livewire's to control. But terrorism, while entertaining and occasionally profitable, isn't Livewire's main focus either.

One of my favorite Superman Adventures stories with her had Livewire manipulating TV broadcast signals so that any time there was a male news reporter on screen, the signal wouldn't come through. Stuff like that, where Livewire is making life hell for people in a way that isn't immediately life-threatening is what I envision as her day to day operations, but her bread and butter is fake news. What Livewire is REALLY good at doing is manipulating the public due to her journalism background plus her powers. She can make fake videos that look totally authentic, fake articles that seem to come from credible sources, fake voice recordings, she can make anyone appear to do or say anything through the Internet, and then she can upload that to the devices of every single person in Metropolis.

You can get stories about the mayor being framed for taking bribes, local activists cast as grifters, and supposed upstanding citizens such as Lois Lane and Clark Kent appearing to take orders from criminals like Intergang on what stories to run. Basically you lean into the journalism aspect for Livewire stories where Clark and Lois have to investigate to see whether what Livewire is putting out there is fake or legit, with peoples lives and reputations at stake (including frequently their own).

And when Superman and Livewire actually do clash physically? I don't care how it gets justified, Livewire simply being that powerful, her lightning being "special", she has the ability to manipulate Superman's bioelectric field, whatever: she can hurt him. When she hits Supes with lightning, it burns. It's painful as all hell. Livewire needs to be a threat and I'd like her to be treated as a powerhouse since I don't see a reason why that shouldn't be the case. Livewire is a really cool Rogue, there's a reason she's managed to keep getting used long after the DCAU ended. I hope the comics creators start utilizing her to her full potential.

[mymarifae]

you likely suspected i would be coming in here w opinions on ur deltamess au. so. here i am bc i do be thinking the brain is moving a hundred miles a minute. for one, fucking f’s in the chat for asgore. got handed two MAJOR L’s this round. we’ll get em next time, boys! but also oh my god poor kris. NOT ONLY are they dealing w the divorce, but now their big brother is just GONE. AND ASGORES SICK TOO???? LIKE. GODDAMN. SOMEONE GIVE THAT KID A CHOCOLATE BAR AND A NAP. getting hit left and right with some serious mental scarring that would just cause them to probably fold in on themselves even more (going from the quiet weird kid to just the weird kid bc they like. don’t talk. ever.)

also i like how you phrased berdly as being “widely disliked” bc i think him being swapped w susie would kind of turn his arrogance into a more palpable aggression. like berdly isn’t concerned with competition. he KNOWS he’s the best (he isn’t—but he’ll force himself to believe it) and he will DEFINITELY remind you. the kind of arrogance that just reeks of insecurity but in a way that most would not sympathize with. and i like the specific phrasing of susie being “banned from all spelling bees” bc i personally think the reason is her and berdly got into a fight. bc susie in this universe is Actively trying to keep her grades afloat (borrowing some of normal berdlys tenacity and perseverance with her own aggressive nature) but she just struggles. so her and berdly bump heads a lot and i think the spelling bee is just where shit got messy.

(the reason berdly didn’t get banned as well is bc he still looks like. well. berdly. and so they just Assumed susie started it. even tho she didn’t)

but i just like. ohhh my goddd i love this i love aus. usually deltaswap aus make me -__- bc i lived through the underswap era and Know how unoriginal people can be. but there’s just so much HERE so much care put into who is getting put where and why that i oghhhhh love it. this was probably too long anyways HGNBD

HI MICHELLE!!!!!!

KRIS IS GOING THROUGH A LOT YEAH. i'm balancing it out with the fact that susie has pretty much always been their best friend :) they're not as withdrawn as you might think! still quiet, still weird, still private about a lot of things, still a little menace and they've got susie being a menace right along with them <3

your idea for the spelling bee is good... works perfectly and i was considering something similar when i was thinking about going for something not so silly. i still might double back on it But. she's actually banned from spelling bees because she signs up, gets up on stage, and proudly spells FUCK and instantly disqualifies herself. she did this for three years in a row before they got sick of her shit and banned her permanently

...maybe that's just what she tells people but the real reason is closer to what you described? idk! i'll get to kris and susie's Stuff once i have a feel for "chapter 1" and can start planning chapter 2 in earnest. we'll see what i settle on >:)

she does put a little more effort into school but she's more of the class clown type. she gets undyne off topic and wastes class time and everyone loves her for it. she and kris may not be top of the class in terms of grades but they're definitely kind of the most popular? hard 2 explain.

for berdly it was interesting because like. we still don't know what susie's situation is 🤔 so that made the whole "characters personalities stay the same while their circumstances swap" idea a little hard. but we're just going to go with the assumption that susie recently moved to hometown and it's hard adjusting to life in an itty bitty town where everyone has known each other all their lives...

it's kinda like. ok so berdly, if he had never found school and grades as something to base his personality around and pull a sort of False confidence from. he never got the courage to put himself out there. no praise to go to his head. that whole "forgettable bluebird" thing remains his norm, and he just withdraws more and more and grows more sullen

eventually, like susie, he does turn towards acting out in a more aggressive way. that mindset of "ok if people are going to avoid me for no reason i'm going to give them a reason at least." it's one way to gain back a little control of their lives... like susie, it's not like he's actually a bully but any attempts to talk to him do not go well LOL. there's a few rumors floating around about him being involved in some fights... but it's not like anyone can get a confirmation or denial out of him

he also doesn't put any effort into school. or like. anything. he ditches most of the time. like, "no one notices so WHO CARES. i mean i care actually i care a lot. but i'm going to pretend i do not." he's still weirdly arrogant about it though..?? or he tries to be. at some point noelle asks him why he's never in class and he spouts some nonsense about how smart he is and how great his grades would be and that if he worked to his full potential it would "make the rest of the class feel hopelessly inferior." and noelle's like ? what

berdly: i believe i was quite clear?

noelle: if you're so good why don't you like. ever prove it...?

berdly:

berdly:

berdly: shut the fuck- i'm going back to clover's team

he's <3 a jerk. but much like meeting lancer is a turning point for susie, meeting clover sparks a neat little change inside him...

[rose-bookblood]

@tommie-hildebrandt sent me an ask about my favourite character dynamic for each WIP, but I accidentally deleted the ask, so I'll answer here.

Buckle up, everyone, because this is a journey.

Evelyn & Andrew: There was a brief competition with one of my poly ships, but these two won because they make my life.

They're neighbours (or, more accurately, their parents are) and have been best friends since they were kids. While they're both reserved and masters at suppressing their feelings, they're each other's safe space, where they can share anything and never be judged for it. Since they've known one another for so long, they easily read social cues and often communicate through little gestures only. They're also similar under multiple aspects, which helps to recognize when one of them is doing some shit and needs a little grounding. They have a lot of playful banter and just like chatting for hours on end.

Andrew's love language is acts of service, so he's always doing nice things for Evelyn, namely baking and drawing stuff she then hangs to her room's walls. Vice versa, Evelyn is clingy and hugs him something like 36527345 times per minute. Her favourite thing is reading a book while resting her head in Andrew's lap. Oh, and they have a tradition where they watch anime together every Sunday.

Yes, they are adorable and I love them.

Sheryl & Moren: Predictable? Yes, but also Untitled #2 is literally 20 chapters of them alone in post-apocalyptic scenarios, so...

Their personalities are quite different and clash a lot, but also complement each other well. Sheryl is an aggressive pessimist who needs to chill a bit, Moren is an optimist who could use someone bringing him back to earth when he's getting too much in his head. Sheryl is very pragmatic, Moren is a nerd who pauses to admire nature every two seconds. A good chunk of their conversations is Moren blabbering about trees and Sheryl going like "you shut up or I'll smash your head against the stupid tree". As time goes on, she actually finds it endearing and stops meaning the death threats :) Moren isn't particularly sensitive and knows that's just how she is, so he doesn't mind.

They've had opposite upbringings--Sheryl is an orphan who's always had to fight for her life, Moren grew up in a loving family--and constantly challenge each other's beliefs. Once they become friends, they share stories about their lives and about their respective siblings, since that's something they have in common. Sheryl is a closed off person and needs a little encouragement, but Moren helps her to open up.

Ok, now I'm really gonna shut up. I love rambling about my ocs, so keep sending me asks!

[h0ney-pot]

oh okay ! good to know lol. thought i was mistaken there 😅 also hii good morning~~

im struggling for things to do with my girlf... i dont want to always spend time inside together, or talk through a screen... i wanna go outside but like I don't know where I want to to walk? I just want to be outside with her, but that feels shallow somehow? Like, she said she would like to go for a walk when i suggested, and im like tbh idk where i want to go, like maybe somewhere new how about you where do you like to walk?? maybe im just reaching too hard to spend time with her? but I can't always think of things to do.. we talked about doing small things together because it doesn't always have to be big and a long date to be important. Idk. im kinda asking for advice i suppose if anyone has any input or if they've had/have similar feelings? i'd be really grateful u.u

also going out to eat food is not really an option for reasons

maybe i could be dumb and ask her if she wants to come with me to get my bloodtest tomorrow? idk ~nya

Gooood morninggggggg honeybun!!!!

Okay so first of all, if I know ANYTHING about lesbian/sapphic relationships, it’s that doing mundane shit like running errands or going w someone to get a blood test, is 100% considered a date and to ME, that’s like one of the peaks of romance lol 🙈 like if you can do mundane random boring shit w someone and still have fun, that’s love to meeeee hehe 🥰🙈

Also your feelings are COMPLETELY VALID! It’s not shallow to want to be outside with your gf at all!! It’s completely normal and I would feel the same way! Even if it’s just like a car ride or sitting outside like at your house, whatever. It doesn’t have to be around a bunch of people (although that is super cute and nice and I too have been known to want to go out w a partner specifically so I can be looking at everyone and telepathically say “look at my partner! Look how cute we are!!!! Lmao)

I don’t think you’re “trying too hard” at all! I think it’s sweet and beautiful that you wanna spend more time together! I think definitely starting small is perfect! Maybe see if there’s a park near by? Or even literally just walking around the block together. You can pick out music to show each other, hold hands, take pictures of each other. Silly cute stuff like that!!!

If anyone else has some advice please feel free to chime in!!! 💕💕💕💕

[shyrose57]

Brothers anon, sorry this keeps taking me a while to send, been very busy lately.

He only had a hunch at first he was his ancestor but later talking with Karl confirmed it. I have yet to decide, I think he probably will just so I can focus more on the current events and not his past. 

He solely relys on his instincts when around other endermen. Although when around Ran he relys more on his social interaction skills. Though he still does certain things (like no eye contact, he leaves two blocks for Ran as a show of care and harmlessness, and sometimes warbling at Ran) due to his instincts. For other enderman it generally works out well, they mostly leave Ranboo alone anyway. But for Ran, he doesn't care much.

He is aware of Enderwalk Ranboo, mostly cause Phil warned him about it. His interactions with Enderwalk Ranboo are mostly Enderwalk Ranboo entering his room and trying to get close to Ran only for Ran to really full heartily growl and lash out at him when he gets close. Then Enderwalk Ranboo whines and leaves. Ranboo is hesitant but welcoming and open to Ran all the time, mostly because holy shit its another enderman hybrid, he thought he was the only one! And Ranboo can tell the two share a bit of similarities but mostly just thinks its because there both enderman hybrids. 

Karl manages to convince the Artic Commute to leave the two alone and once they leave starts to question Ran. Only to pretty often get cut off by him asking a retaliation question. Ran is angry and desperately wants to know everything, Karl is scared and wants to know everything Ran knows. So they eventually come to a agreement where Karl asks a question, Ran answers then he asks a question and Karl answers that. After a while of this they come to an agreement to wait til Ran is fully healed to start to find a way to get him back. And in the meantime Karl'll explain his timetravel stuff and how Ran got here, hoping to get the Commute to agree to help them find a way to get Ran home. 

A mix of annoyed, angry, relieved, and homesick (cause Tubbo reminds him of Jackie). Bit of both, he wants to know whats going on and where Ran came from, but is also just curious about the other hybrid. Tubbo heads to the Artic cause Ranboo hasn't been over at all in weeks, keeps saying he's to busy and how something interesting happened at the Artic. So Tubbo gets tired of it and decides to head over to find out whats keeping Ranboo from visiting. Ye medic Eret, I was originally thinking of medic Bad but I think I may try to include the Egg in this somewhere so he's not a option. They have a mutual relationship, no one there really has a reason to dislike him or to heavily like him, but they all get along whenever they meet. Eret learns by Phil contacting him for help, cause while Techno and Phil both know some health knowledge they don't know enough to properly treat Ran and make the call to call in Eret to help, both trusting them enough to keep this secret between all of them. Karl learns because of Eret actually, Eret comes to Karl for help to see if he has any enderman biology books and half handly mention how a enderman needs help, leading to Karl asking if its Ranboo or Edward, the no he gets in response alarms him enough to back Eret into a corner and force him to tell him who was there that needed help. All Eret said was a dark enderman with green eyes, which reminds Karl of Ran and gets him panicked enough to go see if its him. Tubbo knows cause he gets impatient of waiting for Ranboo to vist so he vists with no warning, leading to him meeting Ran while looking for Ranboo. Its kept hush hush cause their all unsure of how the rest of the SMP would react to having Ran there, especially when it's revealed he's from the future. 

He did. He's not having fun. Karl used too but not anymore since he's time travled so much he's gotten used to it.

Partially, he understands all common though is only able to speak a medium amount, mostly due to his mouth and vocal cords are just unable to make some words or sounds needed to speak it. When that happens they basically play charades. He is still Technos roommate and is happily helping Ranboo in anyway he can. 

------------------------

They steal anything they can get their grubby hands on. It actually goes pretty well as well shockingly. They mostly steal anything that looks expensive, though they manage to find a bunch of raw material like gold, iron, and even diamonds and steal all of that. And they get far enough no one can find them at first. 

Thats exactly what happened, they make eye contact, hear a ruckus from nearby, make eye contact again, then fucking book it away from the sounds. 

The most trouble the group makes is when Grievous makes fun of Porkums hat and gets punched for it. 

Honestly with all the wars and battles that go on in the SMP he probably doesn't even bat a eye, its probably normal for him. 

First thing Jackie does is complain about everyone being taller than him. I imagine Pogtopia being abandoned for years hasn't left it in a very stable state. So Jackie just steps in the wrong place and gets sent tumbling down, with rocks falling after trapping him. 

All happened after they met Karl, but all happened at different times. So for example, the Wild West where thrown back 3 years after meeting Karl. While for the Haunted Mansion crew, they where thrown back months after meeting Karl. Even though they've all met him before their reactions are slightly different depending on how long ago they met Karl. Again for example Sherman and Jon Jon greeted Karl like a old friend and were happy to see him again. While all of the Haunted Mansion crew greeted Karl with questions as they more recently saw him so didn't feel the need to say hello. Cause Isaac and Karl are both in Kinoko Kingdom, where Karl holds all of his books about the time travel journeys, Karl is able to bring Isaac to the books and show him the City of Mizu Book, along with the others that explain who they people he was with where. Plus Isaac just doesnt really have a reason to not believe Karl as he has never lied to him or anything.

Im guessing you mean after the search party is formed, then its actually Ran found first since he's so close. Karl has to try to convince Ran to join them so they can count him as found and then take him to a holding type area. Ran refuses at first and Karl gives him a ultimatum that he either goes with them and gets to go home or stays here forever. He eventually agrees to come with if he gets to search with them, and reluctantly Karl agrees. Karl does what any of the Tales people joining them on their search, but much to his dismay more people insist on joining them. Ran also actually has information on the Bandits but refuses to give it until they find Jackie, cause he has a bad feeling that something happened to him. Ran actually has his left hand bandaged cause a massive piece of glass went through his hand. Jackie will eventually get his arm in a sling due to a broken bone. Ranbulter and James suffer hypothermia and have to be taken care of by Bad (the Egg doesn't exist in this au). Zack slips trying to get away from the Bandits and twists his ankle. Sherman breaks a finger trying to get out of the ravine. And Benjamin gets a slash on his leg after trying to run from Drowned and getting grazed by the trident. Both sides goals are getting back home. Though it's harder for the Tales cause not all of them get along. Karl gets worn down over time and slowly becomes more distressed and hopeless about getting them home. And all the stress builds up til he just snaps and sadly, quite a few people are in the line of fire when he snaps.

From Future To Past AU:

What led to him suspecting Ranboo to be his ancestor?

Do certain blocks have certain meanings, then? For Endermen?

Enderboo sounds very sad and put-out. How is he generally in this AU, seeing as Phil's aware of his existence at the least? How does Ran feel about his visits, and what are his thoughts on when it happens? Are Ender hybrids rare in general, if he's so surprised to see another one?

How'd Karl convince him? How do the two currently view each other, and what were their previous interactions beforehand, if Ran's reaction to him was so upset, and Karl was spooked? How do they get along after?

How does the rest of the Arctic react to Tubbo's presence, and how do our two Endermen feel about the possible tension-considering Ranboo's closeness to Tubbo, and Ran being reminded of Jackie. What are you thinking, egg-wise? Why does Eret go to Karl for books? Is his library well-known?

So Karl could possibly help Ran out with the effects? Or is at least aware of them? Or no?

Charades with them all sounds like so much fun, honestly. Can you imagine it?? And good! We need more Edward around!

---------------------

Tip Of The Iceberg AU:

Good for them. Do they end up having to return the stuff later, or no?How does it go when Las Nevadas realizes who the thieves are?

Common sense isn't dead! Huzzah! Absolutely hilarious image though.

Good for Porkums, honestly.

That is also true! And really funny image, once again. Eret's just like- 'ah, my window, mysteriously broken. Again. Absolutely shocking. Whatever will I do.' Completely deadpan while they pull out supplies from a chest kept nearby for this exact thing.

Everyone else: Where are we? Are we in danger? What happened?

Jackie: How dare you all be taller than me.

That's not good though. How do they and the others react to that?

Have certain events of the Tales been altered then? Seeing as some of them would be dead otherwise? Or were they revived when they were thrown back in time?

How do all the Smp members react to these random people who popped up seeming to know Karl? 'never lied to him' implies Issac knows Karl a bit more beyond just meeting him now, so what's with that? Is he just naturally trusting of him, or do they know each other?

How does that first interaction go, not just between Karl and Ran, but with the others with them? What information does he have on the bandits, and how did he get it? Similar past as before, seeing as Jackie remains so important to him?

Poor Tales. None of them are having fun, huh? Where are they all housed after this, and what are relationships like as of now? Do the groups stick together from era, or with whoever they just get along with best? How do they interact with certain Smp members?

And what happens both during and in the aftermath of Karl snapping?

[stardewspellshed]

Bad Birthday Bouquet: A Stardew-based Techno Magic Curse

There's a guy I've known for years who's notorious for being a terrible person by... everybody I know who isn't terrible in their own right, honestly. There's a mile long list of reasons why he got to eat this curse, but the relevant one is that he's been mistreating a bunch of people and this is unfortunately not the first time this has happened.

And so when I'm out of all other options, I go for a curse. This one has worked swimmingly. This is a freakishly long post so it's under a cut for once.

What you need:

Some knowledge of energy work and poppets-- if you're unfamiliar these are pretty common concepts and there's many resources that can explain them to you.

Six Wilted Bouquets (Substitute with something else gross if you can't buy bouquets from Pierre's yet. Any hated item works. Void Mayonnaise or Rotten Plants would be my pick but your mileage may vary.)

Six tables for your bouquet (end tables work best)

Something to play Happy Birthday with

At least one light source that can be manually turned on and off by the player (like braziers, campfires, or fireplaces.)

A villager to represent your target-- you're going to be giving this villager the nasty thing!

(Optional) crops, fish, fruits, gems, artifacts, or other items with correspondences that match your intentions-- I picked kale for bitterness and catfish for drowning in his own negativity, but your items will vary depending on your desired results and personal associations.

(Optional) a notepad, paper, and writing utensil in a color you associate with cursing if you can't do or are just not great with visualization.

Timing

Cast on your target's birthday in real time, on the target's representative villager's birthday in game, or Fall 28 in-game. A waning crescent moon or total lunar eclipse in real time would probably also work in a pinch.

Pre-Spell Prep Work

Prepare your Bouquets by tossing them in a furnace with a piece of coal, or if you're using something else instead, craft that if you need to.

Also, if you aren't using Wilted Bouquets, you might want to do a bit of research to make sure they actually hate the nasty thing you plan on using since it's kinda missing the point to give Snails to Vincent or a Void Egg to Sebastian haha. I recommend using the Stardew Valley wiki (though friendly reminder not to do that if potential spoilers for patch 1.5 bother you since that JUST came out on console at the time I'm writing this) to check their hates. As an added bonus if you're like me and the kind of person who hates the thought of losing friendship points, this is a great opportunity to check what they love so you can stock up on stuff to fix it when you're done with the spell.

After that, pick a villager to represent your target. (I have a whole thing with suggestions for how to do that here if you're at a loss for who to pick.) I picked Penny to represent my target because other than the part where he's a heinous shitgibbon they've got very similar values, interests, and goals.

Setting Up The Spell

If you have a specific pre-casting routine (whether that's grounding, centering, meditation, warding, casting a circle, calling on deities or spirits for help, etc.), take care of that now.

Put down your light source inside a farm building then arrange the tables around them in a shape you feel is fitting-- I chose as close to a circle as I could get because that's the shape I most associate with birthday cakes. Leave space for one bouquet in the center or between your light sources, and if you're using extra ingredients set those up too. I felt it was best to set them up directly next to the bouquet in the middle, but that will probably vary depending on you.

Casting the spell

Turn your light on, then take a strand of energy and visualize it anchoring itself inside the thing to start things off. Play Happy Birthday while you bring the energy through all of the other items. Stop at each of the other bouquets, and say/think a reason why this person is getting cursed at each. If you don't have five reasons, something like "your behavior is messed up and you need to stop" or similar works.

Bring your energy through your correspondence items and for each, say/think, "for your birthday, in return for <insert the last straw that made you decide to do this here>, I give you <insert the intention this item is being used for here>."

End on the one you're going to give and say/think something summing up everything you've already said and making it very clear why you're putting this on them.

I said "<target's full name>, I'm really just sick of your shit. You are bigoted on so many different levels, two-faced, treat anyone you think is less than you like trash, have an enormous entitlement complex, and <something he did to one of my friends that they would like to keep private>. My birthday wish for you is that you get your head out of your ass. Apologize for your crappy behavior and stop doing it, or drown in misery and realizing how small of a person you actually are. Happy birthday!"

Let it stew as long as you feel appropriate, then figuratively blow out the candle by turning off your light source.

(If you struggle with visualization, plot out your layout on a piece of paper-- it doesn't need to be incredibly detailed if you don't want it to be, a bunch of Xes in a square will work.

Focus on your intent and emotions like discussed above, but do it while looking at the item you're going to give to your villager. While doing that, draw a line at the mark representing your light, and speak it into existence-- keep focusing on your emotions and intent and describe it connecting into the light source whether by speaking out loud or thinking it. Draw your line going through all of the other items while describing your energy the same way, stop on the other bouquets and correspondence items as described above, and end on the one you're going to give to your target just like you would otherwise. )

Deliver those nastyass flowers to your villager, then end the day. You are done!

Post Spell Procedure

I like to get a snack, stretch, and watch something silly to make me laugh and shake off any residual anger or sorrow from spells like this.

I also like to turn off my Switch and sound cleanse my whole space since I have a bell. I'd strongly recommend doing some kind of cleansing even if you don't sound cleanse.

(Note: ribbon dividers are not mine, I found them here. Please let me know if you know who actually created them!!)

[autumn-foxfire]

What Im thinking about today: BNHA n stigmatization of psychology.

The thing is, we as humans are very ready to help each other (most of the time). Thats why we try to rehabilitate prisoners, thats why we volunteer, thats why proffesions such as doctors, social workers and psychologists etc exist. I think we talked here before how most villains in the series havent been failed by heroes, they've been failed by societal safety nets that were meant to catch ppl like them, just like social workers try to catch endangered kids and psychologists try to catch people with mental problems.

Now i study psychology so ill concentrate on that. Obviously it depends from place to place but mental care is still very often looked down upon as 'something for crazy people.' I have personal expirience with that as when i suggested to my dad that maybe he should look into a psychologist too (after my brother started going to one) cuz he has some issues that he could use a hand dealing with, his response was 'what? But im not crazy'. I study psychology and he still often makes jokes about me treating crazy people in the future. I interviewd a school psychologist for a class and she told us that one of the first things she has to do in a school is get students to relax and feel comfortable coming to her with problems cuz there is a very clear stigma in everyones mind that asking for help with your mental problems is something bad, something wrong, something that means you are crazy, wierd, other and people do fear that stigmatization. Going to a psychologist doesnt mean you are crazy, it means you are having problems that you cant deal with on your own and that you need proffesional help with. Nothing more, nothing less. Those problems can be depression or they can be helping you to deal with lingering emotions from your divorce. Big or small, psychology is simply there to give you support and tools you need to feel good again. You wouldnt stigmatize someone for going to the doctor for a soar throat or cancer so you shouldnt stigmatize someone seeking p much the same help for mental illness.

But people still do because things ingrained in society are very very hard to uproot and things are going for the better with every generation but its a painfully slow process and there is no telling how many people fall through that net because they dont seek help when they still can because they think 'im not crazy im not gonna go to those mumbo junbo psychologist that mess with your head' which is very much like going 'im not gonna go to a doctor for my infected wound, they would mess with my body'. Untreated infections spread and get worse and people fall through.

This is what leads me back to bnha. We dont know exactly how long the world of quirks existed, i think i saw a post breaking it down to be for about 100-300 years but for the life of me i cant remember. We know its not terribly long. 100 years may seem long until you remember a single human can live to 100 years old. Now my question is, if a science such as psychology that has been present since like ancient greeks n egypt n stuff can still be stigmatized.

How accepted would quirk counseling be?

Lets not forget that quirks were heavily discriminated against in the begining, treated as monsterous and the other and the acceptence of them is still something fresh and more extreme mutations still face hate groups. Like its completly canon that there are people alive now in bnha whos parents or grandparents faced discrimination or died because of quirk discrimination (cough redestro cough).

Imagine being Togas parents.

Your child displays a quirk like that. You still have in memory your parent or grandparent who was discriminated and monsterized because of a similar quirk. Quirk counceling exists but why should you take your daughter there. Shes not a monster, this isnt something you should get someone else involved with, its a family matter and what do those counselors know anyway, they will treat your daughter as a monster and make everything worse. You can handle this yourself, you can teach her to supress it. Shes not a monster.

The wound festers.

This especially goes hard for japan whos big on the keeping things in the family aspect and not discracing the family. The stigma is still fresh in the memory and you dont want to be that family whos kid goes to quirk counseling. You shut the doors, you shut the windows, you deal with it within the family.

I think that while quirk counseling exists in bnha, it would most likely be seen as something thats shameful to atend, a admitance that you dont have control over your own quirk. Your friends might say 'what the fuck man why are you going there, you arent a monster' even if a quirk that has negative effects should be treated as shortsighted eyes that need glasses. Just because it doesnt function well, doesnt mean its bad. But well stigmatization of disabled is a whole nother thing our society also has problems with and that also connects to bnha (cough aoyama cough). I think thats why its so easy for people in bnha to fall through those safety nets. I do belive they exist but they are new, probably not the most super effective as most new things tend to be and are probably looked down upon.

And hate to break it to shiggy and the crew but thats the kind of a problem that can only be fixed my longterm education and normalization of asking for help rather then burning the systhem to the ground.

I hope that made sense i always get a little loopy with my points when i write a long one fgdgff

No, it makes sense.

Mental health is still stigmatized everywhere, even here in the UK where we’re supposed to have some of the best health care available (which is debatable). To bring something a little personal into this, my flatmates and I were playing a guessing game where I had to describe a word with other descriptions being taboo (in my case it was headache) and as my flatmates know I suffer from chronic headaches, I said as a clue that it was something I get often. Well, a flatmate who was a little tipsy at the time who knows about my depression shouted depression to my other shocked flatmates (I didn’t mind, in fact I found it hilarious). But after we had all calmed down, one of my flatmates said something that stuck with me: “Maybe you shouldn’t overshare things”.

Now, I don’t see telling people I have depression as something I’m oversharing. It’s not private, it’s a mental health condition I suffer from that can kill me if it goes unchecked (before starting medication again, I was very suicidal). In fact, it benefits both me and my flatmates to know that I have depression just in case. And yet it was viewed as something that I was “oversharing”.

This attitude has only arisen because people treat mental health as something that is shameful and should only be known among family members. In fact, I had no clue that DASS (a disability service in uni) was actually also for mental health issues because we’ve been raised with people treating mental health as something “in our heads” and so isn’t as important as physical disabilities, it was only until my uni pointed out that it was there for every condition, physical and mental.

The point I’m making is that I can totally see mental health in BNHA be treated as a shameful secret. Japan doesn’t have the best track record when it comes to mental health anyway (don’t they have some of the highest suicide rates?) so it wouldn’t surprise me if the BNHA universe is the same. In fact, the only mental health issues we’ve seen in BNHA currently are the extreme examples of it such as Twice and Dabi’s mania.

I would love to see Horikoshi delve a little more into quirk counselling and the potential stigma behind it. I know it’s been brought up once or twice (UA treats it as something normal but as teachers who see mental health issues all the time, it’s no wonder that they do) but not enough in my opinion when it’s probably one of the most important stop gaps between making villains.

I don’t have much hope, admittedly, but it would be something fun to explore in fanon too!

[elizabethrobertajones]

I'm genuinely curious and I'm sure you've talked about it before but what're your headcanons on Cas & Dean getting together in the show? How different do you think what you would like to see vs. what might actually happen are? I feel like this season is gonna make it harder and more detrimental to keep feelings "strictly platonic" if that makes any sense. I feel like it's pointless for them to keep dancing around each other considering what they've been through in the past 2 seasons especially.

I actually don’t really talk about this or have more than passing headcanons about how to do it usually right in like the next 3 episodes range of coda fics I approve of sort of level >.> At least not that I’m set on or have any real strong feelings about, mostly because I’ve learned to enjoy the show while still living in fandom you really can not let fandom expectations get too deep into your head to the point you’re imagining the show as a sort of interactive pick your own adventure game where you’re desperately trying to turn to page 83 but the show keeps flicking back to page 6 and you’re like WHYYY and scrabbling around feeling like they’re holding the pages down for you or something… Gah, bad metaphor. Double ear ache. I apologise for the quality of blogging around here this week :P 

So I mean what I would LIKE to see or headcanons I have are all of the coda fic formula of just taking the episode a minute past its appropriate end. And I’ll tell you the 2 most jarring moments of my life watching the show were in 10x03 where the episode went past the expected end and Cas walked into the bedroom with Dean but then left again but my heart was hammering the whole time, and to explain it to myself retroactively, 11x04 when the camera stays in the back of the car after they leave the Bunker, talk over the details of the case, and then there’s just this long silence while Dean’s driving and Sam’s sitting there, and it’s just… wrong… The scene is going on past the point we KNOW as viewers it should have cut to the next day when they roll into town, and the silence and the length of the pause were exactly made to pass through a boundary, to transgress what we should be expecting as a viewer. The scene in 12x19 is very similar to the one in 10x03 in set up - Cas walks through the door to Dean alone - but the transgression is only in 10x03 when all the other loose ends are wrapped up and Dean’s cured and Cas could easily have made the same excuse to Sam and left, but instead they pushed through for one character-driven scene of Cas and Dean together, and we were intruding on Dean in privacy with his photos, and we see him react as if he doesn’t want people seeing him doing that, and then Cas comes in and they’re alone together and talk, and there’s no purpose except for personal communication between them. Either Cas leaves, Dean tells him to leave, or he stays and they get together :P And obviously it would be one of the first 2 but it was one of the rare times the show drifted into set up for a coda fic where they were given that privacy and even the hint that this could transgress expectations because it was indisputably the last scene of the episode we could have between members of TFW and all the plot was over so there was nothing for them to discuss except feelings.

I think my expectation for a scene where it’s going to go canon for real will cross some of those same invisible boundary lines and that’s what gets my heart hammering about things on this show. Moments where I’m not sure what it going to happen and I’m out of a comfort zone of being able to confidently say I can predict it all in a rote way, where character reactions are all somewhat reliable. There’s sometimes stray dialogue where they seem to hint so far. The only times recently they got me was the 11x11 line about pining for somebody else. I could feel my heart against my ribs and I got up to walk it off because I thought I would die if I stayed in front of the screen, because it crossed a line of stuff that seemed acceptable to say about Dean in the context of knowing Robbie is very aware of what he’s doing and even on first watch the episode had a lot of Destiel cues in it to go with the Amara surface text (also that means Robbie got me twice in a row and I sort of haven’t forgiven him :P). 

And specifically the giving of the mixtape because the set up to the scene didn’t feel weird at all to me, I was predicting exactly how it would happen until it completely threw me for a loop that they would use an almost always romantic trope (without further context and Dean and Cas are *terrible* context to judge a trope by because they are a trope dispute battleground where mainstream romantic tropes go to Hunger Games it out :P) in the middle of what should have been another round of the subtextually romantic but surface text everything else Destiel is on top of that argument. So yeah that really was a weird moment because it was more like becoming untethered from expectations and I think that’s why 12x23 still hasn’t really hit a place in my heart yet because I’m still seeing the last shot of Dean and Cas in my eyelids when I blink and the boundary-crossing it did is surreal to me because the line I drew behind it once upon a time was how to make it canon in the worst possible way if they were going to fuck with us >.> 

I guess that’s a 3rd one. But anyway. It was so weird. Like… that feeling of not quite believing it? I think there’s a lot of joking we do about it but there’s actually expectations and we will ALWAYS expect Dean and Cas’s language or language about them to single them out as a partnership. Or the oddly specific clarifications like we/I need you, I love you/all of you. Or Dean and Cas to get into a stinking argument while Sam’s eyebrows raise to the moon in the background and he clears his throat until it’s raw. Dean fielding the phonecalls and wandering off in private or going on speaker phone in alarm when Sam comes nearby. There are a LOT of basic expectations I have about how their relationship is written and not many things transcend those lines. Even a lot of the romantic gestures we’ve had since I was watching. Like the end of 10x14, was a “well duh” if you search your heart and only extreme pessimism and distrust in the writing of the show or its patterns and tropes.

Actually 9x18 which got me into the show was another one of those transgressions and a really important one where Robbie (fuck you) really drew attention to stuff you’re not supposed to point out  - not just using the fourth wall break to point out there’s a story, but that it has a subtext and that it’s drawing attention to it. And 10x05 telling us the subtext exists and it belongs to Dean and Cas who are a couple in real life (which is also queer). Now I think about it there are more of these way back when and they’re all Robbie’s fault until recently :P He’s given me at least 4 mild heart attacks. 

Aaaanyway I guess what I’m saying is, the times when I get really dizzy and alarmed about what’s going on is when something doesn’t go like it’s supposed to, and the “supposed to” on this show is a very specific pattern of reactions and stuff which are still romantic and yet because we’re used to them being the telling of Destiel, are actually *boring*. If they repeat them without escalating them, it’s nice to have the continuity and reassuring presence that Dean will always sidle up to Cas and look him head to foot on his arrival in a room (pls someone explain the meeting in 12x12 to me I’m still laughing… You’ve known him how many years and you still do it???) But yeah it’s when things go off-script, as it were, to our expectations. 

So I think it would start normal as hell, the sort of thing you’d always expect them to do, and then something would just be *off* or over some invisible line, like Dean not letting go of a hug too quickly or Cas hovering on the door and not leaving when he meant to, them going to a bar and the conversation halting and one or both of them smiling and looking away after a too-long pause. Something where our expectations can chug along in the moment thinking our smart arse knowledge of these boring old teasy Destiel scenes are doing exactly what they always do - until they don’t, and we’re left reeling. 

(And, incidentally, the mixtape is definitely strike one to my mind, and the escalating panic I felt as the camera seemed to tell us, everything is over now, it’s just Sam and Dean standing outside and Mary and Lucifer are gone and Cas is dead on the floor —– and is Sam looking around at the house and Dean *isn’t* what the FUCK, Sam is going inside - and Dean - he’s still - he’s — they ———— and my brain has been stuck in dashdashdash territory on this subject ever since)

And also sorry for answering this while sick, I hope it’s not terrible but weirdly I think it was something I needed to ramble about even if it wasn’t directly about your question… I don’t think I’ve let myself think about this until new canon is less than a month away and I can start to peer between my fingers after having my hand over my eyes all summer)