#But the past three days my irl friends have just been acting kinda weird to me

[ivys-head-is-spinning]

Why are real people never as awesome as tumblr people. my tumblr friends always send me random check ins to my asks or message to ask how my day was

my irl friends don’t.

my tumblr friends tell me “I love hearing your rants!!! I want to know more about you and your interests” and “it’s okay if you need to vent, I’m here for you”

my irl friends don’t.

my tumblr friends don’t let me be the persons who’s texts get ignored.

my irl friends do.

my tumblr friends show me things that reminded them of me, or funny pictures/pet pictures to brighten my day or ask if I’m alright after a bad day.

my irl friends don’t.

why can’t you guys be my irl friends instead???

[castlebyersafterdark]

a few kinda not chill asks sent my way too a while back, about being disinterested or disappointed when fandom blogs get too personal and it just turned my stomach

Ok it might not be me, but ive definitely said this kind of thing to blogs before and i would like to come here now and explain myself and also apologise.

Firstly, context and tone being lost online. i understand it's easy to project and take things to heart that might not even have been about us! been there done that, all day long! but still, i'm sorry that i might have contributed to someone feeling bad because of that.

Secondly and more importantly, it probably was totally unnecessary for me to comment things like that in the first place. ive changed my habits so much in the past few months on this site, and feel so much better. it was wild in the midst of s4, then all the byler shit happening really made me act out in a way that i didnt care for at all. didnt even feel like me! i didnt do anything terrible, but i started to understand the slippery slope of how people end up catfishing and shit. it's the anonymity! you dont stop and think online. well, most don't. but i think you do, vinny. its one of the reasons i love your blog.

which leads me to point three. yes, you talk about personal stuff, but it's so charming and endearing, and never feels gratuitous or self-centred or wallowy. and so, even for someone like me who always wanted byler content more than personal stuff on other blogs, i had a realisation. not necessarily a kind or unkind one, but a truthful one: that being here is kind of like meeting people irl in many ways. some people you click with, others you don't. and that's ok. but in real life you can size people up and judge if you want to associate with them. no shade to those who don't compel you - its just part of being human and you walk away and don't befriend them.

but online is so weird - we can't see each other, don't know our ages or interests or anything except what we're told. so when people you perhaps thought were cool, suddenly turn their blog into something that starts to feel unsafe or just downright rubbish... or perhaps you realise theyre so very much younger than you and it's not exactly manageable to be chatting with them because you wouldn't have such a relationship irl... well, i guess its easy to feel tricked. and you can't see it coming like you might if you were physically associating with someone in person, or with mutual friends who give you perspective. i mean, i definitely shouldn't have interacted with so many younger people in this fandom so carelessly, but fandom can be unclear like that sometimes, when you're thrilling in a shared interest and forgetting how many different life experiences people are bringing to the same thing.

and yeah, i could probably have just walked away and not said anything. that's my bad. i was venting. (not about you, about others and you may have seen it and taken it to heart). so its a combo of internet enabling bad behaviour + the weirdness of invisible online connections, and my own lack of foresight.

but honestly vinny, never once have i felt annoyed by you. I've always loved your insights and personal life things... im drawn to the way you think and speak and it helps that you're self-aware, and seem honest and mature. in fact sometimes i feel a bit weirded out by just how much i love this blog. it feels like a real connection sometimes, even though its still invisible online. you have a real authorial voice, you are original and you are... well, you. what always annoyed me was when other byler blogs just became carbon copies of each other, complaining about the same shit (usually byler doubt) and then suddenly soapboxing about personal problems in a way that would have made me feel unsafe and stressed if i knew them irl.

not to say these bloggers were objectively bad, but just not my cup of tea. i didn't handle it well, i should have just scrolled on past. but i didnt and that was on me. not everyone can like everyone, and that's ok. that's normal. but i wouldnt want anyone to have that life lesson served to them in a bad-shaped box, and especially not by me.

so yeah. apologising in case i had a hand in making you feel that way by proxy. and i hope it can mean something that i don't ever think youre annoying. i genuinely love it here. i can't wait to stick it out with you until s5 drops! and i think i'll be more sad than i thought, because all our speculation and gossip will come to an end with the show.

Posting since you gave the go ahead 😌

This is just a silly fandom blog at the end of the day, but I do feel somewhat vulnerable at times. A lot. It can feel like sending a risky text over and over. I have this inability that once I allow myself to feel comfortable in a place, even an online setting, I do tend to get overly personal and insightful and vulnerable once the edge is tipped over. Slippery slope when you've been a person who's lifelong dealt with pretty severe anxiety and sensitivity, even while being pretty extroverted. Weird combo. I'm a mess! But it's ok.

Situations like this, me making an offhand comment, probably based on off hand comments not at all to do with me - stem from all that. And it's like oh god, mannn why are you like this!?! Chill out! And it's no one's fault - to anon sending this ask: based on how you're explaining and talking here, you may have been one I saw elsewhere that I took to heart but you definitely don't sound like those who sent unkind things over the summer. So it's ok 🥲🙏 We are all works in progress. I've gotten myself in to some situations online, mostly of mine own doing, but also not, and I guess as fun as I have on here and despite the rampant kindness - I'm always bracing for the worst. Because we've all seen what fandom can be like, what the internet can be like.

I feel you though, and anyone else who has their guards up. We can't help what does and does not resonate. I think I know what you mean by going to a space for one thing and then tonally it morphs into something different. I've seen that happen with blogs. And it's so hard because we're human, even if we want to be aloof and disconnected, there's always someone behind every post and page and blog and account (well, unless it's a bot haha), but we aren't going to click with most people and we aren't going to get to know most, either. And it's so much easier for everything to switch up like that online as opposed to knowing a person "in the real world." Without knowing the backstory, the reason. If there's any at all. And I think it's very human to feel some sort of way about these things. The person looking at the screen is just as real as the one one the other side, and there's this digital wall between all of us - connections can be beautiful here, but they can also be frustrating.

I'm really glad that even one person feels affected in a positive way by whatever it is I'm doing here, it really blows my mind when I read kind words. Not trying to sound facetious, it truly catches me off guard and it's always a pleasant reminder. I think that's why I get so anxious and nervous thinking anything I do here is upsetting or annoying or negative. Because I've been that negative presence online in the past and I don't want to be. It's actually kind of funny and sweet that you feel weirded out by liking it here so much, because I feel the same???? Breaking down the reality of being obsessed with a TV show is... kinda fucking weird??? But it's not gonna change for me. This is what I'm into and passionate about and it's sooooo damn cool that others are too and vibe in the way I'm vibing with it.

As always - thanks for hanging out. I'll be sticking around long after our speculation and gossip dies down, and I hope people still want to hang out even after it's over. I'll still keep posting and oversharing and being creative and yes, being annoying about a television show. ❤️

[imafallenangelyouass]

My reaction of the season finale of Las Nevadas 11/27/21

- this is so cinematic holy shit

- ALL THE SYMBOLISM AAAAAA

- SLIMCICLE MY BOY

- ooo 3 months before shit hit the fan

- “That sounds like me” PFFFFT OMG THAT DELIVERY

- “Wooo I’m empty!!” Charlie you are my favorite person

- Holy shit hell yea Slime being in charge

- *chanting* Tntduo rivalry!! Tntduo rivalry!!!

- Fucking ADS DAMMIT

- Oooo SCHLATT REFERENCES TOO

- everything out of Slimcicle’s mouth makes me laugh, genuinely

- These flashbacks tho from Slime’s question because it’s so fucking powerful -chefs kiss-

- B-BEST FRIENDS THEY WERE YOUR FIANCÉS QUACKITY WTF WTF ACTUALLY

- Quackity Acting like Dream I’m gonna—-damn Quackity screaming and god damn the acting choices are Devine

- Why the actual fuck is c!Quackity calling c!Sapnap and c!Karl just his best friends THEY WERE MORE THAN THAT DAMMIT

- Yea….Sam be lying to you too Quackity

- Purpled going for revenge I’m so nervous

- Loose ends….I cant breathe

- Sapnap no baby no

- SAPNAP AND QUACKITY REUNION IM GONNA CRY

- FUCKING 4 ADS FUCK OFF

- Bro my heart cracked when Sapnap asked if Quackity had seen Karl recently

- Quackity holding in how upset he is that Sapnap and Karl abandoned him

- Sapnap just blowing over everything Quackity has done for Las Nevadas and just repeating that Quackity should come to Kinoko

- Quackity saying no… I’m gonna cry

- The miscommunication tag is strong with this one

- Sapnap is so hopeful…omg baby

- Omg he agreed

- I can’t breathe I’m so nervous

- “I like the style kinda like the style I wanna achieve with el rapids” HIS DEAD EMOTIONLESS TONE THAT IS ALSO JUST FILLED WITH BURIED HURT CC!QUACKITY IS SUCH A GOOD ACTOR

- “Do you guys have enemies?” “Not yet but you never know” “you might have some soon” CHILLS

- “this is just an extra house if someone wants to join (coughs)” real smooth Sapnap XD

- Quackity’s broken “Karl and George?” When Sapnap tells him that Karl and George live together now the mushroom

- Quackity is realizing how Karl and Sapnap having been living in all bliss since they left him. Karl and Sapnap aren’t together anymore either

- This is heartbreaking

- Karl’s hesitation until Sapnap introduced Quackity again

- Karl being very formal “hey man welcome to my kingdom here’s some sticks”

- Karl doesn’t remember Quackity at all

- Karl’s memory is just gone the silence after Quackity brings up their houses in Manberg together

- Sapnap is trying so hard with Karl and keeping him engaged, he wanted so bad that seeing Quackity Would bring some Karl’s memories back

- Both Sapnap and Quackity noting how weird Karl has been acting

- Karl’s lore hurts me, these three are so broken

- Quackity knows just how to hurt us with how he keeps bringing up things from the past

- Sapnap’s “you remember el rapids right?” I’m crying

- “Sapnap, that guy down there is the reason I died” KARL STFU YOU ARE HURTING ME

- “I don’t know anything about you except you are the reason I died” KARL IM CRYING SHUT UP

- “What history” KARL GODDAMMIT

- Sapnap please Karl isn’t joking you’re just in denial

- Karl really has done it now, he sealed the fate of Las Nevadas

- Sapnap is trying so hard

- At least Sapnap and Quackity are on okay terms

- Shit the day of the visit

- Wilbur left the chest?

- WTF PURPLED AND SLIME OH SHIT OH SHIT

- why does Purpled need the book?

- Quackity is Dream now, in a pit of lava saying he doesn’t have the book

- He’s fucked

- SLIME NOOOOOOO

- NONONONONONO

- Wait we’re skipping weeks wtf

- Holy shit it’s the new skin

- Foolish built the bunker for what for what

- Slime no slime please

- Quackity you care so much

- Omg Charlie I’m crying

- FUCKING ADS WHEN HES GONNA OPEN THE BOOK FUCK OFF

- I took screenshots

- FOOLISH YES

- LEGACY (the musical part of me) what is a legacy

- Where is Charlie I’m gonna cry

- QUACKITYYYYYY IRL

- GRAND OPENING LETS GOOO

- HELL YEA THE MERCH LOOKS AMAZING

[theraspberryler]

IRL Benchtrio Tickle Fic (creative, I know)

Welp, here you go! This is my first ever fic, and I’m actually kinda happy with how it turned out. 

Summary: Ranboo’s staying with Tubbo in the UK, and Tommy goes over to visit them. However, Ranboo ends up finding himself in a,, mood, of sorts. He overthinks the situation too much and ends up freaking out, but luckily, he’s got two awesome friends who are there for him! (hurt/comfort)

~This is a tickle fic! If that’s not your thing, then move on please~

TW - Panic attack, self deprecating thoughts, let me know if I need to add anything else

Ranboo had been in the UK with Tubbo for a couple days now, and the two of them have been having a blast, the pure joy and excitement of finally getting to see each other in person had given them the energy to keep going constantly over the past two days, with them doing multiple streams and other activities. They had decided to meet up with Tommy that day, planning to record a vlog for Tommy’s vlog channel, but the past nights of practically no rest had caught up to the two, and when Tommy arrived at Tubbo’s house and saw how exhausted they appeared, he insisted they take the day to rest. They could record the vlog later, it wasn’t a big deal.

Of course, Tubbo and Ranboo immediately protested, but once Tommy made up his mind he was a force to be reckoned with. Eventually they settled to spend the day relaxing at Tubbo’s house, no cameras, and Ranboo had to admit, it was pretty nice. The three of them hadn’t had the chance to just talk without the stress of cameras being in their faces for quite a while, and they all needed the chance to just mess around and act like kids. No need to worry about carefully choosing their words to avoid any discourse. 

Tommy was currently sitting in the chair at Tubbo’s desk, aimlessly spinning in circles as he recalled the events of the previous day, waving his hands around with an animated expression. Tubbo and Ranboo were seated on opposite ends of Tubbo’s bed, Tubbo laughing at Tommy’s over dramatic retelling of,,, something. Despite his best efforts, Ranboo couldn’t seem to pay attention to Tommy’s words. He told himself that he didn’t know what was causing his fidgety mood, but he knew he was lying to himself. 

Earlier that day when Tommy first arrived, he shoved the door open with his usual flair, and loudly announced his arrival. Obviously excited to see him, Tubbo and Ranboo rushed over to greet him. Ranboo had instantly gathered Tommy up into a hug and held him close. And despite the show Tommy put up of not liking Ranboo, he latched onto the other as well, though of course not without poking fun at the other for being so eager to greet him, and a few playfully exchanged insults. That had been great, the thought brought a smile to his face. The part that had Ranboo squirming in his seat right now, was the way Tommy scribbled his nails into his sides after not being able to come up with a witty comeback to one of Ranboo’s playful jabs. It was brief, and after laughing at the squawk Ranboo let out good-naturedly, he dropped it. But, it was more than enough to send Ranboo’s brain spiralling into a lee mood, which only intensified as the playful atmosphere in the room continued.

Ranboo had told Tubbo before about this,,, liking of his before, and he had responded with only positivity, and he knew deep down that Tommy wouldn’t judge him either, but he still tried to forcefully shove the mood down, still telling himself that it was weird, and that Tommy and Tubbo would surely mock him if he admitted to them how he was feeling. 

The only problem was, while Ranboo was lost in thought, the other two had noticed how unusually quiet he had been, and Tommy paused his storytelling, asking if he was alright. At the attention being turned to him, Ranboo froze up, and his nerves kicked in, but he still tried to play it off. 

“I-I uhm, y-yeah, I’m fine.” Ranboo cursed himself for his lousy attempt to reassure them, and the other two clearly didn’t buy it.

“You sure, ‘Boo? If we’re doing something to make you uncomfortable, you can tell us.” Curse Tubbo for being so damn sweet, and those big, worried eyes that were carefully observing him. Ranboo fidgeted in place, refusing to make eye contact with either in the room. He was silent, getting increasingly frustrated with himself. Why couldn’t he come up with a response? Why did he have to be so bad at social interaction? This is so stupid for me to get worked up about, just say something! 

As Ranboo remained silent, Tommy and Tubbo’s concern for him only grew, and Tommy pushed himself up from the chair he was sitting in. making his way over to sit on the bed next to him. Seeing how uncomfortable Ranboo seemed, they didn’t push him to talk anymore, and both shuffled around to sit on either side of him. Ranboo risked a glance to his side, and, catching his gaze, Tommy offered him a kind smile, slowly reaching out to softly grasp his hand. And, oh shit, Ranboo could feel that familiar burning behind his eyes, and he quickly pulled his knees up to his chest, burying his face into them. God, why were they always so sweet to him? He was getting so worked up and upset over a stupid mood, and couldn’t even manage to say anything to them! In his frustration with himself, the tears in his eyes began to overflow, and his breath hitched.

Tubbo pressed up closer to him, bringing his arms up to wrap around Ranboo, before he paused.

“Hey, ‘Boo, it's alright. Can I touch you?” Ranboo managed a nod at that, and Tubbo wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close. It was a little awkward with Ranboo being so much taller than him, but the embrace still served its purpose and Ranboo melted into his touch. Tommy brought his free hand up to Ranboo’s back, rubbing circles into it.

“Hey, Ranboo, it's okay. We’re here. Breathe with me, yeah?” He hadn’t even noticed how his breathing had sped up, but he allowed Tommy to guide him through the panic attack, as he counted their breaths, in and out, moving the hand on his back up and down along with the rhythm. 

After a few minutes of counting and failed attempts, Ranboo had managed to considerably calm down. In that time, the three of them had managed to maneuver into a laying down position, both Ranboo and Tubbo practically laying on top of Tommy, nearly crushing him, but somehow, they were comfortable. After a couple more moments of them all breathing together, Tubbo broke the silence.

“Hey, ‘Boo, you think you could manage to tell us what happened? You don’t have to, but it would help Tommy and I be able to help you.” Ranboo took a deep, stuttering breath, before he opened his mouth to speak. His voice was rough and scratchy, but he pushed on anyway. 

“I-Its stupid, really. I was just in a certain, u-uh,, m-mood, and got frustrated with myself. I-I’m fine, really, I was just upset that I couldn’t say what I was thinking.” Tubbo caught on to what Ranboo meant by “mood” pretty quickly, Ranboo having told him about it before. Tommy still didn’t know what he meant by that, but pushed on anyways, and spoke up. 

“That's not stupid at all, not being able to say what you’re thinking can be really frustrating and scary. You did a great job just now, though, with telling us what happened, I’m proud of you for that.” Ranboo whined at the slight praise, though he couldn’t deny how Tommy’s words and reassurances made him feel better. 

Tubbo forced himself to sit up, stretching his arms and rubbing his eyes. 

“Why don’t we put on a movie? And, uh,, if you wanted to um,, do something about that mood, ‘Boo, we could. Or not! Whatever you’re comfortable with, I don’t wanna push you! We could just watch the movie!” Tubbo was hesitant to offer; not because he didn’t want to help Ranboo with his mood, oh no, he just didn’t wanna make him uncomfortable, or make him feel like he had to.

At the offer, Ranboo felt his face heat up. Wow, and to think that he could have just gotten that so easily. Ranboo pushed the mildly self-deprecating thought away, and shyly nodded in response, hiding his face in his hands. Tommy, still confused as ever, just watched their interaction, not saying anything.

Tubbo gently pulled one of Ranboo’s hands away from his face, offering him a reassuring smile.

“Is it alright if I explain to Tommy, ‘Boo? You know he would never judge you.” Ranboo looked away and nervously bit his lip, but nodded after a few moment’s hesitation, pulling his hand back. Tommy looked between the two, his confused expression growing concerned, both because he was worried this “mood” Ranboo was in was something bad, and because Ranboo had thought that he would judge him for it. Tubbo noticed Tommy’s concern, however, and was quick to set him straight as he guided Ranboo to lay down on the bed of his back. 

“Don’t worry, Toms, it's nothing bad. Ranboo explained it to me over Discord one night. I’m pretty sure he called it a ‘lee mood,’ which basically just means that he's in the mood to be tickled!” Tubbo didn’t miss the flustered squeak that Ranboo let out when he said the word, and smiled fondly at him, even though Ranboo couldn’t see it, since he was covering his face. 

Tommy, upon hearing that indeed nothing was wrong and this “mood” was something as sweet and innocent as that, instantly lit up. 

“Awe, Ranboo, that's so sweet! There's nothing wrong with that at all! You want us to tickle you, big man? Is that alright?” Ranboo squeaked again, and thought this just may be the most flustered he's ever been, but it’s not a bad feeling. Definitely not. 

He couldn’t even attempt to hide how happy Tommy’s positive response made him, and at the light, teasing tone in Tommy’s voice towards the end sent tingles down his spine. Unable to find his words, Ranboo just nodded in response, curling up slightly. He let out yet another squeak as he felt someone’s hands on his sides, unable to hold in his anticipatory giggles even though the hands weren’t even moving yet. He shyly peaked out from behind his hands to see who had placed their hands on him, only to immediately hide again as the other two cooed at his reaction. 

“Giggling already, ‘Boo? I haven’t even done anything!” Ranboo shook his head in response, his giggles heightening in pitch. 

“Dohohon’t tehehease!” Tubbo pouted playfully at Ranboo, not that he could see him.

“Awe, why not? It's fun teasing you, because I get to see your adorable little flush and hear your sweet giggles!” Ranboo only whined louder, causing both lers to laugh. 

Tubbo began to lightly massage little circles into Ranboo’s sides where his hands were laying, occasionally scratching his nails into the sensitive skin. Ranboo, his sides being a fairly bad spot and already being wound up from the teasing and anticipation, let out an embarrassingly loud squeal, arching his back.

“Whoa, did you see that Toms? His sides must be sooo ticklish!” Tubbo snickered. 

As much as he was enjoying watching Tubbo tickle Ranboo to bits, Tommy decided he was bored of just watching, and would find a spot as well. After a couple moments of consideration, Tommy fluttered his fingers over Ranboo’s neck, gasping excitedly at the squeaky giggles the spot produced. Ranboo shook his head back and forth and scrunched up his shoulders, still keeping his hands over his face. 

“C’mon, ‘Boo, stay still for me, yeah? It’s hard for me to tickle you when you’re moving around all over the place.” 

Ranboo still couldn’t believe this was actually happening, it had been such a long time since he’d been tickled, he honestly wasn’t sure where he was ticklish, or even if he was ticklish at all anymore. 

So when Tommy’s fingers glided over his ears by accident, even he was surprised by the shrill shriek that he let out. The sound startled the other two into stopping for a moment, and Ranboo felt himself flush darker. He was about to start apologising when suddenly Tommy’s fingers were back to his ears, tracing his nails around the shells of them. 

“Holy shit ‘Boo, I didn’t even know someone’s ears could be so ticklish,” Tommy giggled. 

“SHUHut uhuhuhup!” Ranboo’s plea fell on deaf ears, as Tubbo picked up his tickling at Ranboo’s sides. 

“No fair! How come Tommy gets the good spot?” Tubbo playfully complained, a childish pout on his face. Tommy let out his signature barking laugh, and stuck his tongue out at the other. 

“Sucks to suck, bitch boy!” Tubbo just huffed in response, deciding to try out a different spot; maybe he could find a spot worse than his ears. 

Ranboo would normally laugh at them and play along with their childish antics, but something about how they were talking about tickling him so casually was extremely flustering to him.

“Guhuhuys! NohoHOHO!” Tubbo’s fingers had pressed into the divots between Ranboo’s ribs, vibrating them in place. Ranboo threw his head back in laughter, his hands finally leaving his face to instead latch onto Tubbo’s wrists, though he didn’t push them away. 

Tubbo grinned victoriously, flashing Tommy a cocky smirk as Ranboo began kicking his legs out underneath him. Tommy just growled in response, immediately searching for a new spot. He experimentally squeezed at Ranboo’s thigh, being rewarded with another hiccup, but not much else. Tommy pouted as Tubbo cackled at him, narrowing his eyes at the shorter.

“‘Sucks to suck,’ huh Toms?” Tubbo mocked, eyes lighting up as he reached Ranboo’s upper ribs, causing Ranboo to let out a louder hiccup than the others and a squeak. 

Ranboo couldn’t even attempt to form proper words now, between how hard he was laughing and how flustered he was, and he was enjoying every second of it. After a bit longer, Tubbo began to slow down his fingers, allowing Ranboo to take a breather. 

As Ranboo began to recover, Tommy smirked as he got an idea. He gracelessly shoved Tubbo off of Ranboo, earning him an undignified squawk from the shorter, before he sat himself on Ranboo’s hips and unleashed all ten of his fingers along his belly. 

Ranboo jolted like he was electrocuted, not expecting the sudden attack, before snorting and falling into loud belly laughter. As Tommy crowed victoriously, Tubbo couldn’t even bring himself to be upset that he lost their little ‘competition,’ instantly cooing at Ranboo. 

“Awwe, does someone have a ticklish belly?” After a moment of violent thrashing, Ranboo went limp, and just accepted his fate. Even though he was laughing so hard his belly was starting to hurt, and he could feel tears prickling in the corners of his eyes, he couldn’t deny how good this felt. To be so carefree around his friends, not even trying to muffle or contain his reactions as he snorted and laughed to his heart's content. 

“NAHAHAHA- *snort* T-TOHOHOMS!” Tommy laughed as his name was called out, pulling his hands away from Ranboo’s belly, flopping on the bed next to him. Tubbo climbed back up on the bed as well, laying himself across the other two. Tommy grunted from Tubbo’s weight being added onto him, and pulled Ranboo into his arms, rubbing his back soothingly. Ranboo buried his face into Tubbo’s hair, trying to regulate his breathing. After a minute of comfortable (almost) silence and Ranboo’s giggling still hadn’t let up, Tubbo laughed, rubbing his shoulder. 

“You alright, Boo?” Ranboo nodded, his head falling back against the bed, taking deep breaths.

“Y-yeahahaha, I’m goohohod.” Tommy fondly rolled his eyes as the giggling still didn’t completely stop, pulling the two closer to him. Tubbo shifted around, wrapping himself around Ranboo, before relaxing and closing his eyes. The only two followed shortly after him.

“Softyinnit.”

“Shut the fuck up Tubbo.” 

[dramat-ic]

Can anyone give me advice? I am just rly confused by this haha:

Ok so there’s this cute guy at my school whose a grade above me that is literally good at EVERYTHING, ITS NOT FAIR (dancing, singing, acting, math, like you name it, he can do it), and from what I’ve been told, he is also a genuinely good person with a normal sized ego. The universe rly knew what it was doing when creating this guy dndhdj

Ive looked up to this guy for a rly long time but I have had no idea how to get to know him so we had never talked until a few days ago. Even though we haven’t talked it seems like we know each other? Idk how to describe it haha, like I think he may have vaguely known of my existence? We have made long eye contact since the start of the year and sometimes we smile at each other? He requested to follow me on two different socials at the start of last semester despite having a rly small number of ppl he follows/follows back, doesn’t even follow some of the ppl Ik he knows, and is said to not be the type of person to reach out to ppl. Idk, probably is nothing, I just thought it was weird bc we hadn’t technically met? LIKE WE LITERALLY ONLY FORMALLY MET AND HAD OUR FIRST FORMAL CONVERSATION THREE DAYS AGO??

Anyways, in my schools choir program you have to take this complex ear test/music theory test to get into choir each year and students from the top choir are the ones who give the test, and bc he is ~INCREDIBLY~ talented, gifted I would say, and has been in the top choir since he was in freshman year, he’s been giving the test since he was like a sophomore. All day before the music theory test, everyone who had him for past tests or generally knew him was telling me to do anything I could to avoid getting ear tested by him bc he’s supposedly “judgmental”.

I was walking towards these three rooms where ppl were being tested and I was the last in line so I’m waiting for someone to walk out of one of the rooms and OFC THE NEXT PERSON TO WALK OUT IS THE ONE BEING TESTED BY THIS GUY, so I’m thinking “oh, great!I’m going to make a terrible impression on this guy I actually want to seem cool to!” Lmao so I’m the only one in the hallway and am walking to where he was testing ppl and he STEPS OUT OF THE ROOM, turns his head, sees me in front of the door, walks over, pauses for a minute and then says “hi yo-“ stops and just kinda looks at me for a sec and is like “oh- YOURE in MY room?” And then I’m like yeah ?? And hes like “alright���cool-“ and it was just kinda interesting haha, he seemed to know my name already and said it like every other sentence?? Anyways, he let me retry anything on the test I screwed up on and gave me random points which ig he doesn’t usually do? If anything the teacher usually has to alter the scores he gives ppl bc he’s such a harsh tester? And then at one point he straight up stopped the test and looks up from the piano and goes “you have ~impeccable~ pitch” and then kept going?? JDNSJDJJDKDKX BEST MOMENT OF MY LIFE LMAO, And at one point in the test you have to prove you can hold a harmony by singing some notes while the PIANO plays the other notes and he just started signing the other part which ig noble of the testers do?? I didn’t mind bc we actually sounded good singing the harmony lol, I’m sorry but like 🤷‍♀️

(Ooo feeling kinda bad for this, but I chose to sing the alto notes instead of the soprano notes THINKING THE PIANO WOULD BE PLAYING THE HIGH PART and this tenor bitch just kinda sighs and is like “ok…ok…I like singing comfortably too” and then decides to SING THE SOPRANO LINE LIKE DAMN THIS KIDS RANGE, I just- when he went into his falsetto it 100% made me second guess my years as a soprano 1 💀) with all this to say, I am probably wayyyyy reading into all of this but for some reason I wanted to ask someone I don’t know irl wtf this means?? Does he want to be my friend or- ?? What’s happening ?? Do I try to talk to him ??

[griavian]

the 36 questions that lead to love

x <- read on ao3

dream finds a list of questions that can supposedly lead to two people falling in love, so him and george try it out on stream. turns out, they don't really need all 36.

“Come on, George. It’s just a couple of questions.” Dream pleaded into the call, making George roll his eyes. He’s been trying to end stream for the past 15 minutes, but Dream always convinces him to go “just a little longer!”.

“36 questions is not just a couple of questions, Dream.” George glances at his second monitor to make sure his green screen was still black and to check a few discord messages. He had no intention to fall into Dream’s trap for another hour of streaming.

“But it says it’ll lead to love!” Dream says, exasperated. He googled ‘questions to ask your friend’ earlier and found a list of them that apparently lead to falling in love. To George, it was bullshit.

“That’s such bullshit.” He expresses.

“You’re no fun.” Dream’s voice lowered, and George can feel the pout Dream has plastered on his face. He can already predict what the next 12 hours would be like with Dream: silent treatment and being a general dickhead. George was used to it when they lived an ocean apart, and even found it amusing, but it was a totally different experience living with him. Dream would mope around, go into George’s room randomly just to not talk to him, and go as far as to blast sad music from his own room across the hall while George was trying to finish up some editing. Sure, it was all light-hearted jokes, and Dream would stop his act in a heartbeat if George was truly annoyed by it, but George still dreaded it.

“Fine.”

Dream immediately cheers up and starts typing on his keyboard while George watches his chat fly by, seeing a lot of emotes and positive messages.

“Okay, um- first question. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom,” Dream mocks the formality, “would you want as a dinner guest?”

George’s nose crinkles. “How is that gonna make me fall in love with you?”

“Just answer the question.”

“I don’t know! The queen?”

“That’s a stupid answer.”

“What!” George screeches and Dream barks out a laugh. “You’re so dumb.”

“You gotta give me a better answer than that, or else we won’t fall in love with each other.”

George rolls his eyes, but decides to think about his answer. Truthfully, he wouldn’t want anyone special as a dinner guest. “Um. My mum.”

George eyes his chat as it’s filled with “aw”s. He almost scoffs.

“See? That wasn’t so hard.” George wants to punt Dream into another universe.

“Alright, who would you want as a guest?”

“Tom Brady.”

“That’s the stupidest answer ever!” George yells, his eyes wide, perhaps offended that Dream picked Tom Brady out of anyone else in the world.

“Question two!” Dream ignores, “This one is kinda dumb, but would you like to be famous and if you do, what for?”

George hums. “Probably don’t want to be famous-famous. Maybe being well-known for being the first person to invent IRL-VR. I want my body to be submerged in the Minecraft universe.”

“That’s sick. I dunno what I’d want-”

“You’re already famous.”

“Shut up. I don’t even- I don’t even want to be famous, really. I just want to make whoever knows me smile.”

“Aww, isn’t that sweet, Dream.” George teases and he knows Dream waved him off. George has his habits practically memorized.

“Whatever. How about you ask some questions?” Dream sends a link on discord and George reads through them.

“There’s no way these can make people fall in love. What even is this question? Before making a telephone call, do you rehearse what you’re going to say and why?”

“Trust the process. I mean, I do that. I don’t want my brain all jumbled up, I guess. Words are hard.” Dream answers.

“I don’t think I’ve ever done that. I wing it.”

“That’s very you. Next question.” Something about Dream saying that made George smile the tiniest bit, made the serotonin flow through his brain.

“What’s a ‘perfect day’ for you?” George reads. It’s quiet for a moment.

“Hanging out with you,” his voice is sincere, “You and Sapnap. Recording, streaming, anything like that. What about you?”

“Hm. Me too.”

George isn’t one to show his feelings often. He remembers being asked if he did, and he answered with “not ones that matter”. It still rings true to this day. His walls are still built up and that’s okay to George. Mushy feelings aren’t important, but he’d be damned if he didn’t say his heartstrings were playing a beautiful melody during this moment.

The questions and answers fall easily after that. George knows it’s around 1 am, and he should go to sleep, but answering the questions was kind of addicting.

“Do you have a hunch on how you’ll die?” Dream reads the question with a chuckle. “That’s such a weird question to ask someone you wanna fall in love with.”

George tries not to read in between the lines.

“Heart failure. For both of us.”

“You know how I’ll die?”

“We’re Minecraft streamers, Dream. We’ll probably die at 40.” They share jokes and giggles of scenarios where they die and what they’d do, and something about it feels a bit too honest.

“I’ll die the day you die, George. Emotionally and physically.” Dream says, dramatic as ever. George only huffs, and they leave it there.

“Name three things you and your partner have in common. Dream, do you have a secret girlfriend?” They start to bicker back and forth, because of course they do.

“It doesn’t mean romantic partner, you dumbass. Like- it’s like a science partner,” Dream sighs, “Well, we do have a lot in common. We have the same job, we care about the same things, and we love each other! Easy.” Dream answers.

“Who said I loved you?”

“You literally did last night.” George had closed chat a while ago, already prepared for what was to come. He can only imagine what they’re saying.

“They’ll never believe you.” George says with a sadistic grin.

“Ugh. Okay, what are you grateful for in life? You have to answer this.” George can hear Dream get a little closer to his mic, almost anticipating George’s answer. Dream knows how much he doesn’t like to express any feelings, and probably expects him to skip the question overall. George prevails.

“You. Obviously,” and before Dream can get out an aww, George says, “You made my career, dummy, and I’m grateful for that. And my friends, family, all the normal things. Chat! I’m even grateful for chat.”

“Well, I’m incredibly grateful for you especially.” Dream’s voice is soft, almost loving. George rolls his eyes. He could’ve guessed Dream’s answer, but it weirdly hurts him when it was spoken aloud. He doesn’t know whether it hurts because it might be a fun little joke or if it’s because someone might care about him that much. George decides to stop thinking.

They answer more questions, from taking four minutes to tell each other their life stories (“There was no reason to add that detail; you’re so gross, Dream.”) to what significant quality they would want to wake up and suddenly have (“You’re already good at code shit, George. That’s the saddest answer ever.”). They move onto section two of the list, which are deeper questions.

“Is there something you’ve dreamed of doing but haven’t yet, and why haven’t you?” George asks. He knows about Dream’s unfinished projects. There’s probably a million answers to the question, and George would listen to every single one.

“Uh, well. You know I was writing a book, yeah? I was halfway done with it, and I can’t make myself finish it. It’s probably writer’s block, but I don’t think I’ll be able to do it.” George frowned.

“You can’t finish it with that attitude, silly. You’re annoyingly amazing at everything.” George says with a snort, “I don’t have an answer to this. What did you say that one time? Your future is my future? Well, your dreams are my dreams, then.”

George cringes a little at what he said. He doesn’t know his viewer count, but knows that at least a million people will watch that clip out of context. Dream doesn’t say anything back and moves on to the next question.

“What is your most treasured memory?” Dream asks, and George immediately laughs.

“I definitely know your’s.”

“Do tell, George.”

“Our first Christmas together. Sapnap insisted on getting a real Christmas tree, and when we started decorating the stupid thing, Sapnap sees a spider and screeches. Then, our neighbors come knocking on the front door and you had to explain to them that nobody was being murdered, it was just your roommate being a big baby. And as if it could get any worse, I got tree-sap all on my fingers and clothes and you couldn’t help me because you were laughing too hard.”

“Pretty sure I almost choked on my own spit.” Dream adds, and George scoffs. “But no, that’s not my treasured memory.”

George sputters. “What? You’re telling me I told that to thousands of people for nothing?”

“To be fair, you were all soft on Christmas morning, so our first Christmas might be your treasured memory. Anyways, remember the first time you helped me with a code?” George stays silent, giving Dream the answer. “Well, that was the first time we had a real conversation. I made you laugh, then I started to laugh because you laughed, and we didn’t get the code done. It sounds dumb, but I always smile whenever I think about it.”

George’s face falters a bit. God, he just wants to hug Dream; he wants to make a beeline for his room and attack him with affection and make sure he knows that George loves him, platonically or romantically, George wants him to know.

He just can’t express it with words.

“That… sweet.” George’s eyes travel down the following questions and panics, seeing how personal the questions are. He fakes a yawn. “As mushy and stupid this thing is, I’m really tired.”

Dream doesn’t say anything. It almost scares George, but he deafens on Discord and bids farewell to his viewers, who were completely freaking out. George doesn’t blame them. He’s abruptly leaving after a sweet moment? That’s a recipe for disaster, and George knows better. Yet, he clicks the end stream button.

The door to his office swings open instantly and startles George. It was Sapnap, someone he didn’t particularly want to see.

“What the fuck was that?” His roommate whisper-yells.

George groans and slides deeper into his chair, covering his face. “I don’t know,” he muffles.

“Are you even trying to hide your feelings at this point?” He can hear Sapnap close the door and flop on his office’s couch. “You might as well buy a billboard that says ‘I’m in love with my best friend! His name is Clay!’ with a big ass picture of your dumb face beside it.”

“I know,” George whines. “Do you think he knows?”

“He’s not the one I’m worried about knowing. I’ve told you a million goddamn times that he’s too whipped to notice. I’m worried about the fans. They’re gonna go fucking bonkers because of this stream. Clips are gonna be shared. People are gonna speculate.”

George uncovers his face and narrows his eyes at his friend. “Thanks for the reassurance,” he deadpans.

Sapnap rolls his eyes. “I’m being serious, dude. I know you’re very deeply in love with him in the gayest of ways, but you gotta be careful in front of the fans.”

“Oh my God. I know, Sapnap! I know. I forgot we were even streaming. It felt like it was just the two of us, and I got too comfortable. And it was so nice. I can’t even do anything about it now, so it doesn’t even matter.”

Sapnap sighs and pulls himself from the couch. “You need to talk to him before this gets out of hand. You know I love ya, and that I’m here for you.” George cringes out of habit, but nods. It reads as ‘I love you too, I guess’.

Sapnap leaves without another word, and George is left alone with his thoughts. It’s not long before he sluggishly makes his way back to his bedroom. He opens the closed door, enters, and shuts it. He turns around, only to be greeted by a familiar person in his bed, and yelps.

Dream laughs. He’s wearing blue pajama pants and a white t-shirt. His hair looks messed with, and his cheeks seem to have more color to them. George can’t help but stare.

“Well? Aren’t we gonna finish it?”

George cocks an eyebrow.

“Finish what?”

“The questions, dummy. You don’t… you don’t have to. I mean, it’s kinda stupid that I want to do it in the first place, but…” Dream trails off. George hops on his bed and grins lightly.

“Go for it.”

They answer questions they skipped, like what is your most terrible memory (“My, uh, grandma. She died when I was about 14. It was… hard on me.” “Oh, George…”).

The overhead light was off at this point, the only light coming from a lamp on his desk and the stars shining through the window. The two are on their sides, Dream on the right of the bed and George on the left, facing each other, occasionally looking at their phones to ask the questions.

“What roles do love and affection play in your life?” Dream asks, his voice softer than ever. George can almost not answer. He doesn’t know.

“I’ve never been a super affectionate person, so I don’t know. I’ll give you guys quick hugs of course, but with really close relationships, I don’t know what to do.”

Dream looks as if he’s searching for something in George’s face, and George can’t tell what he’s looking for. His movements are hesitant, George sees.

“Do- um. You wanna maybe,” Dream pauses, closes his eyes,and scrunches up his face. “Try?”

“Try what?”

“Affection.” Dream lets out a breath and opens his eyes. “Affection is my strong suit, afterall.” His mouth forms into a teasing smirk despite his eyes showing nervousness.

“Um. Take the lead.”

It’s slow. So, very slow. Dream’s hand raises up and lands itself on the dip of George’s waist. He’s whispering instructions, and George listens. His hands are hung around Dream’s neck, and their legs are starting to tangle together. They laugh when they realize how far apart they are, and Dream pulls him closer. George can feel his heart beating out of his chest as he lays his head where Dream’s right shoulder meets his neck.

“Do you want me to ask the rest of the questions, sweetheart?” It sounded like a coo, and George is surprised at how effortless the pet name comes out of Dream’s mouth.

“Was that okay?” Dream whispers after a moment of George going still. He perks up.

“Yeah! Yeah.”

“Okay.” Dream pulls George closer and rests his left hand on his back. He starts rubbing up and down in slow motions.

George simply melts.

The questions and answers go by slower, and their voices become gentler. Dream announces that they’re on section three now, and to state three true “we” statements. Dream goes first.

“We… are cuddling?”

“Obviously, idiot.” George chuckles. “We are really tired?” Dream hums.

“We meant everything we’ve said tonight.”

“We are going to mean everything we say tonight.”

“You can’t just steal my answer.”

“Just do your third one.”

“We will be ‘Dream and George’ forever.”

Forever is a long, long time. And yet, Dream’s statement is still true.

“We don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow.”

There’s a beat of silence.

“Very vague.”

“Next question, Dream.”

“Alright, alright. Complete this sentence: ‘I wish I had someone whom I could share…’”

Without a second thought, George replies, “My emotions with. Your turn.”

George swears he felt Dream squeeze him.

“My everything with. Every single little thing. Physical, metaphorical, emotional.”

“Even Patches?”

A laugh.

“Yes. Even Patches.”

“Next question.”

“Tell your partner what you like about them and be very honest.”

“Your voice. It’s like… I don’t even know how to describe it.”

“Does it get you going, George?”

“Shut up. I definitely don’t like your smart-assery.” George can feel Dream lean down into George’s shoulder and smile. “I like how you act around people. It’s always different depending on the person. Different with me.”

“I like how you act around people too. You’re almost always bubbly, even though you like to say you aren’t. And, God, your laugh. It’s so overwhelming, but in the best way possible. You have no idea how many times I’ve said the stupidest shit just to hear your little laugh.” George digs his head deeper into Dream’s shoulder. “I also… really like it when you say my name. My real name.”

George raises slightly, gaining the tiniest bit of confidence. “Clay?”

“Yeah. Yeah, that.”

“Clay,” George whispers.

“George.” Dream sounds weak. So, very weak. George gets closer to his ear.

“Clay.”

George can’t tell if he’s joking.

“You’re gonna kill me, George.”

George’s lips brush against the outer of Dream’s ear, and his friend shivers. He decides this isn’t a joke anymore. He thinks the invisible line they had drawn in the sand many years ago has been kicked and stomped on to the point where neither of them remembers the line being there. George goes further.

“Clay, Clay, Clay,” George is still whispering, slowly brushing his lips across Dream’s jaw, and the hands around his waist get the littlest bit tighter.

George finally raises his head to meet Dream, who was a mess. His cheeks are glowing and his eyes are almost bloodshot. His breath is labored and his hands are shaky.

“Calm down, love.” George whispers and raises his right hand to meet Dream’s cheek, who leans into the touch.

“Kiss me.” Dream begs quietly, as if saying anything louder would shatter the moment in little pieces.

An adrenaline rush fills George’s veins. “Anything you want,” he says, and closes the gap.

The kiss is soft. Dream is maneuvering their bodies to be more comfortable, meaning George is pulled on top of Dream. Their lips didn’t part once.

They move together in harmony, both in the kiss and their bodies, putting everything they got into it. It was unsaid feelings and years and years of thoughts, and George felt every single one of them. George is straddling Dream’s middle and Dream is leaning up to meet George’s touch. His hands are rubbing up and down and squeezing George’s hips and George’s hands find their way into Dream’s hair. It’s perfect and imperfect and everything George has been waiting for, yearning for.

They part, and Dream pushes their foreheads together. George assumes they look dumb, but how could he care in this moment?

“Beautiful. You’re beautiful.” Dream says, his breath tickling George’s mouth. He lets out a breath and breaks out into a smile. His hands start brushing through Dream’s hair and George backs away to get a good look. Dream is staring back.

George lunges forward and wraps his arms around Dream’s neck, sending him flat on the bed with an “oof”.

“Jesus Christ, George. A warning would be nice.”

“I love you. I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-I-love-you-” George couldn’t get enough of saying it. George’s dam cracked when Dream held him and fucking exploded when they kissed. He doesn’t have to hold back anymore, so he doesn’t.

“Slow down, baby.” Dream says through a chuckle. He makes George lean up with tans hands on pale cheeks and a lot of eye contact. “I love you, too.”

George’s breathing slows down to a normal, less-adrenaline-filled pace, and Dream kisses him again. George forces his head back up.

“What does this mean for us?”

“Isn’t it a little obvious?”

“Not really.”

“Boyfriends, George. We’re dating now.”

“How do you know I wanted to even be your boyfriend.” George narrows his eyebrows in faux-suspicion.

Dream’s stare is blank. “I mean. You’re- well- you know, um-”

George dismisses this shortly and confirms, “I want to be your boyfriend.”

Dream sighs in relief. “You’re such an idiot.”

“Yeah. Whatever.” George slides off Dream’s waist and lays facing him. Dream turns as well. “Was that question the last question?”

“No, actually. There were a few left.” Dream blinks, then muses, “Guess we didn’t need 36 questions after all.”

“That was the cheesiest thing you’ve ever said and I hate you for it.”

“You wound me, George. You wound me.”

George makes up for it by letting himself be engulfed in Dream’s embrace, and feels tiny kisses on the top of his head. George nuzzles closer.

Yeah, everything was going to be fine.

[kyetalksshit]

dream log: 7/8/19

henlos friendlos if u enjoyed that last installment of wHAT THE FUCK did i just dream, enjoy another one, this time accompanied by a recurring hellscape that i very very very much do not love!!!!! hahahahahahahahahaha i hate it let’s go

so i started out the dream hanging out with some friends of mine who, for whatever reason, were morgan adams and her friend (whose name i don’t currently remember. i know it but my i am fully blanking lol. it’s her best friend, the one she grew up with and often has in videos. anyway. lol). so i remember we were hanging out, i think on like a road trip or a picnic or something weird? I’m not totally sure but i have a weirdly vivid memory of like a woven picnic basket and sitting in the back of a pickup truck with them in like beach gear and sunglasses? i also vaguely remember a small dog that was mostly white and a little grey with those really short but thick and tight curls. he was very cute and i love him and i wish i remember anything else about him. i don’t think he was in the dream after this. 

so somehow, i guess we lived in a dorm together with this like weirdly big concrete backyard and a pool (honestly if you’ve ever played stardew valley, it kinda looked like the irl version but more condensed and again, all concrete instead of grass or dirt). our room had a sliding glass door that led straight to the back yard. actually, i don’t know for sure if we lived in a dorm because we had a family there and i guess it was both our family? but we weren’t related... but somehow... ugh idk. maybe they were host families and i was living with her in hawaii lmao who knows

anyway. so at one point in the middle of the night one night, i decided to wander around outside to take in the air, look at the stars, and get a little privacy. so when you walk out of the sliding glass doors, basically like a little ways in front of you and slightly to the left was a MASSIVE in ground pool, not covered or anything, vibrant blue water and all, in that like ear shape kind of? and not only was the ground white cement, but there were also these huge industrial lights all the way around the whole yard so you could see really easily at night. to the right of that was a good bit of open space, literally just cement. i think there were a few pool chairs or something. but then when you’re standing in the sliding door, straight ahead but WAYYYYYYYYYY at the back was this small bit of wooden fence. it was odd because everything else was cement or stone or whatever, and wherever it started and stopped on either side was actually conveniently covered by low hanging tree branches and ivy and whatnot. and right in the middle of that little bit of wooden fence was a gate with a rounded top and black iron hinges and a black iron handle. 

me being me, i was drawn to it; the one little naturey part of this concrete and stone yard, so i walked immediately toward it, almost enchanted. instead of pausing to look at it like i’d planned to (for whatever reason i knew that we weren’t allowed to leave the house until the morning, like nightly), i reached straight for the handle and opened it. 

instead of leading out, it actually led directly inside this mansion type place. there were a lot of people running frantically in circles but they didn’t seem to see me. however, there were some like vampire looking people in lab coats who would look at me and nod once, and keep going. i let go of the handle, already inside (although i never noticed taking the steps inside) and the door closed. now this was a place i recognized from MANY previous dreams, and couldn’t remember at first WHY i recognized it, just that it was familiar. but as soon as the door slammed i spun around to leave; that’s NEVER a good sign. but there was no door at all, just wallpaper. like old vintage green and gold wallpaper, separated by a wood accent and the gold side decorated in little green emblems that look like that symbol i can’t remember the fucking name of lol but it’s almost like a trident, since it has three prongs, but the middle one is much taller, the outer two are curved away from the middle, and they all come together at the bottom in the middle. 

panic. 

i suddenly realize that all of the people running frantically are being chased by these vampires in lab coats (and some other various monsters, but mostly vamps in coats), and they’re all screaming various forms of “help me”.

now i began in a small foyer, however there are a few rooms scattered around with no door but they are all pitch black inside, there is an elevator to the left that seems to only be used by the monsters and not the people running, and in the middle is what seems to be a never ending staircase. it goes up and up and up and up and UP and down and down and down and down down down down down. and so on. i start running, trying to find another way out, also yelling for help, and where’s the exit, and i just want to get out of here and such, and i start being chased too!! in the moment this is to be expected; i have been lured here and trapped for consumption. i guess the monsters enjoy the chase; it’s set up like a hotel but also like a doctor’s office. it’s odd. maybe i just got that impression because of the lab coats. 

at some point i happen to lose a vampire and slip into one of the few rooms with an old rickety door on it that is also not locked. it in fact does look like a hospital room, bed/iv/all that, and there’s a curtain to the left. i run over there and find multiple people with fingers to their mouths so i don’t scream when i see them. i think we exchanged like “how long have you been here” and “what’s your story” and stuff, and then we heard the door creak slowly open. we all fell silent. 

it was a doctor. a vampire doctor or a zombie doctor or something, either way he was a monster. idk how i know this, maybe i peeked around the curtain or something, but he was holding a clipboard and looking down at the bed and talking to it as though there were a patient in it. there was not. 

something clicked in my brain and i remembered this place, this room, everything from my past dreams. and the trick is not to run, not to scream. you walk calmly, do your best to not feel the fear pumping through your veins. they will nod at you as they walk. you MUST. nod. back. or you will die. 

as you do so, you will find your door, no matter what floor you’re on. it will be in the same place on that floor that it was when you first entered (on the same wall or whatever). so i waited for the doctor to leave, wished everyone luck (idr if i told them how to leave tbh, i think i mentioned it? but some of them chuckled. like i remember there was a skater boi with long black hair and a beanie sitting up on the counter who like laughed and shook his head but offered no explanation. but either way i had to try it again. if it didn’t work i’d die, but if i didn’t try i’d die too.)

thankfully no one was walking down the hallway as i was exiting, so i was able to shut the door quietly behind myself, straighten my back, and start walking. as i did, the tests began. one doctor nodded and passed. another. another. and as i rounded the corner to my right, i felt a feminine presence beside me. however, you could not make eye contact with anyone but the doctors/monsters. so i kept my head forward as we passed the elevators to the right and my door materialized where i remembered it being. i almost picked up my pace but the girl beside me gently placed a hand on my right forearm (again, not looking at me) and i was reminded to keep my pace steady. i grabbed the handle and exited, and the door slammed shut behind me and i breathed finally, and whipped around to the girl beside me. 

it was morgan. 

she said she’d followed me in there and when she saw what i was doing, decided to follow. i was thrilled to see her. i hugged her tightly and we headed back up to the sliding glass doors. we snuck inside and went to sleep and pretended we never left. 

when we woke up in the morning, our dad and i guess younger sister (suddenly morgan’s friend wasn’t there, i guess she was only there for day 1 idk) decided to take us fishing. we couldn’t really say no, the girl was so excited about it, and our dad made it clear it wasn’t reaaaaally optional. but nevertheless, he was stoked to go, and i felt like it was going to be a good day. 

morgan, however, was acting strange. it was in little ways at first; i’d say her name and she wouldn’t respond, she’d forget that she had to eat, she’d just stop talking for minutes at a time and stare blankly at nothing. but she was trying to... readjust. i knew something was up. 

when it hit me that maybe morgan hadn’t followed me, maybe i brought something else out, literally i didn’t even have to say anything, her eyes just snapped to me. it was fucking spooky to say the least. i waited until we were out of the truck bed and could speak in slight privacy, and i mumbled to her “i know you’re not morgan.” in response, she simply leaned much closer to me, once again walking side by side on my right, looking straight ahead, but she didn’t say anything. she just leaned really fucking close while we were walking. i have this weirdly vivid image of her shirt sleeve being like a delicate and semi see through light pink mesh material. odd. i also am getting the name emily (and did at some point in the dream but idr when). oof i’m still kinda spooked reliving this. anyway. 

so to appease her a little i told her that i wasn’t upset she was using morgan. she straightened a little, and i said i could help her find her way back. again, she still wouldn’t speak to me but she looked at me in alarm, her eyes pleading. so i said maybe i could help her find somewhere else that she could live and morgan could be free. she sighed a little but seemed to agree. 

i somehow knew she was the ghost of a girl named emily who had been trapped in that hotel/hospital/hellscape for decades. again, in hindsight (in the moment and especially now), she never actually spoke. like at all. she communicated but not with words. it was odd.  

after that i have some sort of fuzzy memories of meeting and trying to figure out a way for her to leave morgan alone, some kind of plotting where we’d have to go back into the hellscape and get back out separately, but i don’t remember. i think she had to find a new body (either one that would already be trapped, or maybe her old one, who knows) and it was only ethical to take one from there. morgan, she had just taken the shape of based on my memory of her and then inhabited her body overnight when we got back. anyway. 

so, yeah. i woke up thankfully before we got back, and when i fell back asleep i wasn’t there again. but let me just tell you, the longer i’ve been sitting here typing this, the more freaked out i’m getting, the more i feel eyes on me, and the more i can swear i hear the screams from that hellscape that i’ve been trapped in so many times throughout my years of dreaming. i even thought i felt someone shaking my chair a moment ago. 

i hope u enjoyed this spookfest if you managed to stay captivated long enough. it’ll be too soon if i ever have to see that place again. 

let me know what your thoughts are on this if you have any, or even general spooked reactions and shit. i’m gonna go get a snack to distract myself and watch some cheery youtube videos. 

bye!

[news-mashable-yahoopartner-blog]

You're not alone in seeing your ex on a dating app

Breaking up is hard to do. Being constantly reminded of the person who broke your heart can be even harder.

Back in the day, things were simpler. All you had to worry about was IRL run-ins, but now there are a thousand online minefields you have to avoid. Sure, you can block them on Facebook and Snapchat, but that won't stop them from popping up on the very last online platform you'd want to see them. Yeppp, dating apps. 

SEE ALSO: Tinder will let you see who likes you before you swipe. But it'll cost you.

Obviously you have to figure your ex is looking to mingle, but you don't actually want to witness it in action. When you suddenly swipe across that familiar face, it can be disorienting and confusing.

But don't worry, you're not alone. Whether it's been really bad, kinda awkward, or even a chance to reconnect, many people have shared this experience.

Rekindling old flames

For some people, seeing that their former love is ready to move on makes them realize maybe they aren't so ready. Juliet, a 20 year old from New York, says finding her former boyfriend on Bumble was a surprise that made her rethink their breakup. 

"I realized what if he already found some new ladies? So I had to snatch him back up. I swiped right and BAM we match. I immediately message him and then we intimately reconnected the next day."

Image: giphy

Let those feelings fizzle

For Catherine, a 24-year-old Brooklynite, the constant reminder was not helpful in moving on, "After we broke up, I expected to encounter his profile like once on Tinder. But NO. I've swiped past him four times on Tinder and three times on Bumble." 

As if once is not bad enough. She added, "At first I was really jarred and weirded out that I saw him, but I had to remind myself we were not together. We ultimately wanted different things." 

It's weird seeing someone you know so well

When Monica saw her ex on Tinder, she noticed his bio said he was looking for someone who "snorts when they laugh." This happened to be his favorite thing about Monica. 

So she decided to text him about it, and they ended up having pleasant conversation.

Though Monica was happy she reached out, she says it's probably better to just acknowledge that you saw them and try not to overthink it, "It's like having to pretend you're strangers but knowing you're not." 

SEE ALSO: Kittenfishing is the newest online dating trend — and it's kinda just lying

Though most people try to put their best foot forward on their profiles, some people straight up lie. One person, who wanted to remain anonymous, said she saw her former boyfriend wasn't being completely honest on his profile. She said, "He listed his profession as 'consultant' when I knew damn well he was a waiter." She decided to call him out with a text. He didn't respond, but he deleted his profile.

Yikes, caught in the act. 

Image: giphy

Look on the bright side

Nicole actually had a surprising reaction to seeing her former flame, "So, is it bad that my first response when I recently saw my ex on Bumble, three years after we broke up, was a combo of relief and amusement? I literally chuckled and was like, 'Ah, so he hasn't found anyone either. Cool. It's not just me.' Like it somehow made me feel less bad about being single for so long."

That's a win-win. No hard feelings when you're both in the same boat.

Image: giphy

Sometimes seeing your ex can just plain suck

Nikki, a 22 year old from New Jersey, said seeing her ex on Tinder brought up a lot of old feelings, most of them not very pleasant. "I finally gained my courage, after totally shit-talking his whole profile with my friends, to swipe right — and just as I thought, we didn't match." 

Though she was upset by the rejection on one hand, Nikki tried to see the silver lining in the feeling not being mutual, "Do I really want to date a man who took a posed, self-timed photo in his backyard in a tight button down and a samurai bun? No, I actually don't." 

Good call.

SEE ALSO: Here's why a breakup feels like a physical punch in the gut

If you're worried about seeing your ex on Tinder, Bumble, or whatever app you're using to get some loving, don't stress too hard. At best, you'll swipe right past them and end up finding someone far better. And at the very least, even if it causes some temporary shock, you'll end up with a good story. 

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