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karanna1 · 4 years ago

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AU - Lena Luthor Saves Krypton

Lena is somehow sent back in time and finds herself on Krypton 30 years before the planet explodes. Kara doesn’t exist yet. Krypton has no idea what’s about to happen to them.

Lena realizes that with her knowledge of what’s to come and intellect to devise a solution, she can do two things. One, she can save an entire species from near extinction. Two, she can save Kara from ever having to experience the pain of losing her family, her home, and being abandoned. Kara could live a happy life and never know the burden of Supergirl or being the last daughter of Krypton.

So instead of trying to find a way back to Earth, back to her own time, she settles into life on Krypton, becomes fluent in Kryptonese, and sets about with a spectacularly single-minded focus of changing the future - to save this dying world (and Kara).

She succeeds...mostly. They can’t fix the damage that’s already been done to the planet. Their sun will die and destroy Krypton still, but with Lena’s help they’re able to locate a barren planet in another system that has a white star. It’s brand new, strong, and will live for untold trillions of years (provided Kryptonians didn’t try to harness its power again).

They terraform the planet and create “New Krypton” using the dome concept that Zor-El invented fused with Coluan bottling technology. All Kryptonians are instantly transported to their new home that’s identical to the old one save for one difference - the white sun grants them god-like powers that are beyond what Lena ever saw Kara and Clark capable of on Earth. Kryptonians are overwhelmed en masse by these powers. Some go power mad and attempt coups and form radical sects. Others realize the gift they’ve been given and, with Lena’s guidance, Kryptonian society develops under a new mission - to travel the galaxy and offer help to all those in need. Not just offering knowledge and technology this time, but themselves with their newfound powers.

Lena keeps her distance from the House of El as much as she can. It’s nearly impossible considering their standing with the Kryptonian High Council. Lena has to work very closely with the Council. Jor-El and his brother, Zor-El, are brilliant scientists and statesmen. Alura In-Ze is a rising star in the judicial system. Her marriage to Zor-El, second born son of the House of El, caused quite a few waves, but when Lara Lor-Van, a brilliant biologist and prominent noble of the House of Van, agrees to marry Jor-El, it’s all anyone can talk about. All 4 of them live very public lives due to their professions, their positions on the High Council, and their nobility.

They’re ever so fascinated by Lena Luthor, the human from Earth that appeared one day to save their entire planet. Their savior. The one their people have named “The New Dawn”. Lena wants nothing to do with the House of El. It’s too much. She can’t bear to be so close to Kara’s family without Kara. It feels wrong. Unfortunately, with how much Lena tries to avoid them, the 4 nobles think they’ve done something to offend her, and constantly attempt ways to make amends. It only makes Lena’s life that much more difficult.

But she still knows the exact date and time that Kara Zor-El steps into existence. Later, she will know the moment Kal-El is born (mostly because Lara’s natural birth is all anyone can talk about).

Lena meets Kara on New Krypton entirely by accident one day when Zor-El brings his brilliant young daughter, a prodigy in the Science Guild, to see Krypton’s finest laboratory entirely unannounced. The same laboratory that Lena founded and runs. She’s stricken, having tried to avoid this moment for as long as she could, knowing that eventually she’d have to see Kara as child, which would spell the end of every fanciful dream or slightest hope she had of a chance that someday she would find Kara, her best friend, again. Seeing the reality both warms her heart and breaks it all the same. This bouncing bundle of joy and inquisitiveness has the same blinding smile, in all its purity, with that same head of golden hair.

“You’re THE Lena Luthor?”

She kneels before her so they’re at eye level. “I suppose I am. And you’re THE Kara Zor-El?”

The ten year old gasps. “You know who I am?”

“Of course. I know all the important people. And you are a very important person, Kara.”

“I am?”

Zor-El interjects. “I’ve told Lena all about you, my dear. I’m sure she’s grown tired of my endless babbling about my wonderful daughter and her keen scientific mind.”

“Not at all,” Lena replies a bit flatly and tries to tune him out as she focuses on the young girl who will one day be a most extraordinary woman. “Do you enjoy the Science Guild, Kara?”

“Yes! I love to learn new things. As many things as I can! Sometimes father asks me to work with him in his laboratory at home and I help him with his projects!”

“That does sound like fun. I enjoy creating things as well.”

“You’re the most brilliant bio-engineer on Krypton! I’ve read all about you! You saved us.”

Lena shies away from the praise and instead fumbles her way forward, uncomfortable under the scrutiny of Zor-El, whom she’d never given the time of day until he walked in with his daughter.

“Tell me, Kara, do you like other subjects besides science?”

Kara fidgets, a little confused. “Well, I don’t...they don’t give you much time for other subjects. I-I do try to read about other things like art and history when I have free time, but I’m not really allowed—“

“She’s a hard worker and a wonderful student,” Zor-El interrupts again.

Lena ignores him. “Do you enjoy writing, Kara?”

“Writing?”

“Creation comes in many forms. I enjoy being able to create things with my hands. Machines. Technology. Things to help people. Science is my passion, but there are many other ways to help people. Ways that I’m not very good at, but others are. Writing takes a curious mind, creativity, and a way with words. I believe you might have a gift for that.”

“A gift for words?” Her little brow crinkles as she considers it.

Lena nods. “A writer can do a great many things that a scientist cannot. They are equally as powerful and important. What matters is doing what you love most, what inspires you most. You’re going to do great things one day, Kara. Maybe with the Science Guild, maybe with something else... The future is limitless for you.”

“You really think I could be that important someday?”

“You already are.” Lena smiles and breathes deeply. “Do you know what your name means where I come from?”

She shakes her head. “I have read about Earth. It’s very far away and my Aunt Astra says their civilization is primitive and filled with savages. They have my name there too?”

“Daughter, do not speak—“

Lena waves off Zor-El’s warning without looking at him.

“That’s not an unfair assessment of Earth compared to Krypton, but I do believe humanity would surprise a great many Kryptonians, including your Aunt. In my native language, Kara means ‘beloved friend’.”

Kara beams in a way that is so achingly familiar. It’s like an echo in Lena’s memory. Not exact, not complete, but the beginning of what it will become.

“I like that. Does that mean I’m your friend?”

Lena feels it in that moment. The melting warmth simultaneous with the absolute shattering of what was left of her heart.

“I will always be your friend, darling. Always.”

Kara leaves with her father and Lena’s coworkers are concerned when she goes off planet for an impromptu holiday without notice. She returns two months later and picks up as if she never left.

It’s around that time that one of the people she’s befriended in her years on Krypton remarks at how ageless she seems for a human that supposedly has a short life span. It sparks Lena’s curiosity. Indeed, it’s been nearly 30 years since she traveled back in time and found herself on a new planet. Yet you’d be hard pressed to find a single physical difference. Kryptonians aged slowly under a red star, and even slower still under the white star, but Lena was human. Her body wasn’t designed to accommodate solar radiation the way Kryptonians did. She was over 50 years old now, yet she still didn’t look a day over 28.

More years pass and New Krypton thrives. The galaxy is brought together through New Krypton’s diplomacy and thousands of planets and species are united under a banner of peace. There are always dissenters, but happiness and prosperity is widespread. Lena finds joy in friendships and attempts romantic relationships, but nothing ever really takes. Still, she’s content. She misses Earth, of course, and hopes to return one day before she dies, whenever that will be, but she’s found peace in knowing that she is able to be the one thing she’s always wanted - a force for good.

She’s at dinner with coworkers one night when Lara and Jor-El spot her. She sighs and straightens, preparing for their next attempt to get in her good graces.

“Do they never desist?” One of them mutters next to her ear. “Surely they’re intelligent enough to know when they’re not wanted?”

“Don’t be unkind, but help me keep it short if it goes on too long.”

“Lena! It’s wonderful to see you,” Lara says.

“You as well. How are you?”

“Very well, thank you.”

Lena’s table has gone conspicuously, and therefore awkwardly, silent.

Lara and Jor-El look around at the group uncomfortably.

“We were wondering...well, our niece is being inducted to the—“

“The Science Council as First Order,” Lena finishes for her. “Yes, I’m aware. It’s a great honor. I’m sure the House of El is quite proud.”

“Indeed we are,” Jor-El jumps in. “She’s a most remarkable young woman and we couldn’t be prouder of who she’s become.”

“We are holding a celebration to mark the occasion and were wondering if you might honor us by attending? It will be quite the event.” Lara does a slight eyeroll. “Jor is insisting on all the fantastical things.”

Jor-El nods enthusiastically. “My brother isn’t one for celebrations so I’ve taken up the mantle. Kara deserves all the praise she’s earned with her hard work and dedication.”

“You’ll have to forgive my mate’s enthusiasm. He’s quite invested in Kara since she can share his passion for his life’s work while our son is—“

“Disgustingly hopeless,” Jor-El grumbles.

“Oh?” She raises an eyebrow. “A great disappointment he’s been then?”

“Goodness no!” Lara shakes her head and shoots a warning look at her husband. “Kal is a fine boy. Just...a little lost.”

“Perhaps he is simply in need of a different path than the one his father has in mind,” Lena finds the words tumbling out of her mouth without thinking twice. The couple stares at her agape, but she continues without care. “I can certainly sympathize with the need to step out of the shadow of a family’s overbearing legacy.” She sighs. “While I thank you for considering me, it’s simply not possible with my days usually booked from dawn to dusk. Besides, parties have never been altogether pleasant endeavors for me.”

The disappointment on their faces isn’t what changes her mind. It’s that as soon as she says the words, she regrets it. She’s, of course, kept up with Kara’s doings and was concerned when she heard about the recent move in the Science Guild. Was journalism just a secondary passion since she couldn’t truly use her mind on Earth the way she could on Krypton? Or was this a woman just following in her family’s footsteps because she believed it was the right thing to do? Lena hadn’t seen or spoken to Kara in 16 years. Not since the day Zor-El brought her to the lab.

In the end, it’s Lena’s concern and curiosity for Kara’s well being that wins out. Though she very well knows that the woman that existed in another life, on another planet, is not the woman who lives here now on New Krypton. Even if she shared the same name and the same face...maybe even the same bright eyes and sunny smile. Even then.

“Send me the invitation. I’ll see what I can do,” Lena says, to the surprise of everyone at her table, including the two standing next to it.

They nod, stunned but pleased, and say their goodbyes quickly, walking away.

Lena’s coworkers all turn to her in surprise, but she refuses to answer their questions and excuses herself early for the evening.

She doesn’t show for the celebration. She torments herself for a week coming up to it and can’t bring herself to go. The fear of the past and her memories being trod upon are too strong. But somehow she finds herself in the Starling Grove anyway, just as it comes to an end. The evening is late and guests slowly make their exit after the long day of partying. Lena practically sneaks in, staying in shadows, not knowing what she hopes to find or what she could see that would make all her fears come true.

Is it any wonder that fate would intervene? That there would be no circumstance in which Lena could fly so close to the sun and not be touched?

“If avoiding people is your specialty, you’re very skilled at it.”

It’s almost terrifying to hear her voice again. It’s a different language being spoken, but the voice is the same. As if it’d been snatched from the deepest recesses of Lena’s memories, of a different life and a different world, and brought to the present in flesh and blood with a bolt of lightning.

She turns and it’s Kara smiling at her. Not the sunny smile. The soft, tender, reassuring one. The one that she used to share with Lena when she had one of her harder days. Kara was no longer the small and precocious child she met all those years ago, the one that she could almost convince herself was a complete stranger and that there was no connection between the child and the woman she knew. But that was gone now. The Kara standing before her was the same one she’d left behind on Earth. The one she’d given up in order to save her. The one who walked into her office so many years ago, trailing behind her cousin, and Lena knew she was done for.

Her eyes were so blue as she looked at her...bluer than Lena remembered and it seemed so impossible. Perhaps it wasn’t real. Perhaps she was dreaming. But she wasn’t...was she?

“My skills must be rusty since you were able to catch me.”

Kara put a finger to her smiling lips. “Shh. Finding people is one of my untold gifts.”

“I imagine you have a lot of those.”

Kara looks pleasantly flustered and she stammers over her words in a way that Lena knows so well that the sound of it squeezes her heart in a vise like grip.

She’s not the same person. She’s not your Kara. Your Kara doesn’t exist anymore. Over and over she repeats this in her head.

“Wait...” Kara finally collects herself and peers at Lena more closely. “You’re-you’re Lena Luthor! My Uncle said you might be here, but I never thought...”

“On my home world, they like to say it’s fashionable to be late. However, tonight was just a tad bit too far. I...I simply wanted to stop by and wish you well. A-and to congratulate you on your achievement.”

Did she manage to say that with any passing conviction?

“Thank you. That means a great deal coming from someone like you.”

“Are you happy?” She blurts before her good sense can kick in. “This life...does it make you happy?”

Kara looks at her oddly for a long moment, clearly thrown, but not put off. Lena doesn’t know what else to say that could fix her blunder.

“Yes,” she says, a serene smile creeps across her face. “I’m very happy. I love my family and my friends. I enjoy my work. I hope to have a family of my own one day, but I don’t mind waiting for the right person. Everyone always wants to rush me into something, telling me that I shouldn’t be alone, but I don’t mind it. When it’s right, I know that it will be worth the wait.”

Lena’s heart stutters and freezes. “I-I’m glad to hear that. Truly. I shouldn’t take up anymore of your time though. I’m sure you have somewhere to be and it’s late so I really should be going anyway.”

“Oh! Um. Yes, of course.” She looks disappointed, but Lena can’t think about that. “Thank you for being here.”

Her legs feel as though they’re weighted with cement as she walks away. Her mind screams at her to run, but her body doesn’t seem to get the message. She doesn’t want to leave Kara’s side. Not like this. Not after she’s found her again.

But it’s not her. Not really.

“My Lady?”

She turns around at once. Kara stands there, fiddling with her hands, her head tilted to the side.

“Apologies. I-I remember reading that you never liked that title. You prefer...what was it...” She closes her eyes as she searches for it. “Oh!” Her eyes fly open again. “Miss Luthor. I should have addressed you as ‘Miss Luthor’, yes?”

The ‘Miss’ was heavily accented and sounded nothing like how she used to say it, but it still tore Lena apart.

“I never forgot what you said.”

The voice in Lena’s head screams again for her to run, but instead she draws closer. She needs to hear it.

Her Kara.

No, it’s not her.

“What did I say?”

“I was a little girl. My father brought me to your lab to show me around.”

“I remember.”

Don’t let her do this. Don’t let her pull you in again. You can’t. For both of your sakes, you can’t.

“You talked about different ways of creating. Of passion. It’s silly, I know, and I’m sure you say it to all the children who read about you in school and have a serious case of hero worship, but...you told me I was important.”

“You are.”

It’s a reflex. She can’t help it.

“And you said that I had a gift for words. I never understood why you would say that. How you could know...”

Lena chuckles awkwardly. “Looks like I was off the mark since you’ve just joined the Science Council.”

“But you weren’t.”

Lena’s breath hitches.

“I’ve never told anyone else this...”

Kara steps closer, sharing a secret that Lena doesn’t know she deserves to hear. She wonders if she still knows how to breathe with Kara being this close after so long...so many years gone...

“I started writing that day. That very night I went home and I tried it. I never stopped. I’ve never been happier than when I’m writing. Imagining stories or just writing my thoughts, putting memories into words, keeping a record of each day and what I’ve done, who I’ve seen, what my first thought is in the morning and my last thought at night. All of it.”

Kara was so close. She could smell her. Nothing like what she remembered. It was something altogether new and still...still... Lena’s heart beat so loudly, she was sure every Kryptonian within miles was wondering what that raucous drumming noise was. What must Kara think? Surely she could hear it. Lena was embarrassing herself.

“You inspired me.”

Lena doesn’t know how she manages it, but she somehow strings together coherent words.

“But you continued to pursue...”

“The Science Guild, yes. I’m very good there. It comes easily. It makes my family proud.”

“It’s not your passion though.”

Kara shakes her head gently.

“What stops you?”

“Well, what if I’m not really good at writing after all? I’ve never told anyone about it. I’ve never let them read anything... What if I make a terrible mistake and humiliate myself and my family?”

“Following your heart isn’t a mistake.”

“That’s not a very Kryptonian sentiment.”

“No, but it is a human one.” Lena sighs. “I tried so hard, for so long, not to listen to mine. But it won out every time. Despite all the pain it brought me...I remind myself that it’s what brought me here. To this planet. To this time. To do good. To be good. Following your heart is the most terrifying notion, but in my experience, it has also led me to the greatest moments of joy and love that I’ve ever known.”

Kara stares at her in wonderment. Her long blonde locks flow over her shoulders. Her dress is white and flowing, almost luminescent under the glow of the evening flowers blooming in the garden. It became quickly apparent how very alone they were, the last guests and servers from the party were gone. The torches were still lit, but it was their own world.

Wasn’t it always?

It’s not her.

“I don’t think I could be as brave as you.”

“You have always been brave and I know that you are capable of the most extraordinary amount of courage...courage and boundless hope. You are the one who inspires me, Kara. You always have.”

“Me?” She replies in the softest utterance. “But I haven’t done anything nearly as incredible as you.”

“The kind of person you are is far more important than any sum of career achievements. Don’t let fear make you hide in the shadows, Kara. Step into the sun. You’ve always belonged there.”

“What about you?”

“Me?”

“When will you step out of the shadows, Miss Luthor?”

A voice calls for Kara in the distance. It’s jarring and breaks the spell that seemed to lock them together in time suspended.

They step away, now acutely aware of how close they’d been this whole time.

Kara blushes and opens her mouth to say something, but Lena can’t bear to hear it.

“Goodnight, Kara Zor-El. I hope you enjoyed your party.”

Another voice joins the first. Two people are calling for her now. Kara seems frustrated and turns back, yelling to them that she’d be there soon.

She turns back. “I—“

But Lena’s gone.

She leaves New Krypton again. Journeys to other planets under the guise of a holiday and scientific exploration. She wonders if now is the time to return to Earth. She can’t even call it home anymore, but it’s home...isn’t it? 45 years could be enough to make New Krypton home and maybe it was. Maybe it was more of a home than Earth. But New Krypton had spectres walking among the living. Lena’s past had caught up to her here as well. She was no longer alone. Would Earth be any better with a reminder at every street corner? A certain smell. A park bench. A pair of glasses. Food. All of the food on Earth. She would never truly escape there either. It has to be a different planet. Not New Krypton, not Earth, something else entirely.

She searches across galaxies for it. Finally, one appeals to her. She can see herself settling down there. She can make a new life for herself...again. She returns to Krypton with determination. She resigns from her position, ignores the High Council’s pleas, ignores their more pointed demands, and even their attempted orders when it appeared that nothing else was working. She packs her things and bids farewell to her friends. They’ll visit now and again, but soon she won’t be seeing them at all. It doesn’t bother her all that much. She’d find replacements eventually. No one had ever been like... Well, she’d never let anyone get close enough to try.

She was walking out of her building for the last time, her luggage already sent ahead, and was headed to the transport when she heard her voice again on the wind, calling her name. Of course she would hear her now. This was exactly why she needed to leave this place. The sooner the better to end this torment.

The transport doors were nearly closed when a hand shot between them. The metal alloys were crushed in a powerful grip and the doors were jerkily pried open again.

Kara stood in front of her. Her hair windswept, almost what it used to look like when she would fly to Lena at breaking speed to rescue her. Did she fly here? Was she really here?

“Kara?”

“Lena, don’t go.”

“What are y—?”

“That’s government property!” someone shouts at Kara from further away.

A Kelex zooms in beside her. “And you were flying within city limits which is strictly prohibited. Unfortunately, Lady Kara, this means we must place you under arrest.”

A patrolman, the one who shouted, walks up behind Kara, nodding his head in agreement.

“Arrest?” She rolls her eyes at the Kelex and turns to the patrolman. “The doors were an accident and sorry about the flying thing. I’ll pay the fines. I doubt Alura In-Ze will take kindly to you dragging someone in for petty infarctions, let alone that someone being her daughter.”

Lena finds herself walking out of the transport, entirely of her own volition, and watches it leave without her. Kara is arguing with the patrolman over what her fines should be, but suddenly Lena feels someone take her hand. She looks down and sees that indeed there is another hand holding hers. She drags her gaze up to find those blue eyes again. A ghost. A spectre. Everything she was trying to escape.

“I’m sorry to just...burst in on you like this. But you’ve been gone for months and I only just heard that you’d come back, planning to leave New Krypton for good. I didn’t...”

“You didn’t what?”

“I don’t know.” Her brow furrows in frustration. “I didn’t plan this. I just...when I heard, I felt like I had to stop you.”

Lena pulls her hand away and crosses her arms. She needs to get ahold of herself. This was all so out of control.

“Why?”

Kara is just as bewildered as she is. “Well, I...I’m not sure. But we’ve only just started.”

“What?”

“Don’t you feel it? I know you must.”

She swallows thickly. “Kara, I...”

“I think there’s a lot you haven’t told me. A lot that I hope you will tell me. You promised me once that you would always be my friend. Please, Lena. We both know that this...it’s not supposed to end here.”

“When is it supposed to end?”

“I hope not for very long time.”

“I’ve lived a lifetime already.”

Kara grins. “Then what’s one more? Should be easy if you’ve already done it.”

Lena shakes her head. “You don’t know what you’re saying.”

“Somehow I do...and I don’t. I know it’s strange. I know what I sound like. But I think you understand. Don’t you?”

“Kara...”

“Are you hungry?” She interrupts. “I’m famished. The flying thing is really fun, but I always get so hungry after. How about it?”

“I’m supposed to be boarding a ship in 20 minutes.”

“We can eat fast!”

“I know you can eat fast, that’s not the point,” she mutters. “I have to go.”

“But you see? You say things like that. Like it’s normal to just know these things about me, but it’s not. How do you know? We’ve only met twice and both times it feels as though you know everything about me.”

“Everything?” She scoffs. “No. Never.”

“Well, the important things anyway.”

Lena falters.

“Please? Just...for a little while? There’s always another ship if you really must go.”

No.

No, I’ve been through this before. I saved you. I saved your people. You’re happy. I don’t belong here. I’ve never belonged. This is your world. I don’t belong anywhere. I did what was right. I helped people. I still help people. But I won’t do this again.

“I’m pretty sure you know that a Kryptonian can tell when you’re lying. The white star brought us untold abilities. And the longer I’ve lived here, under this new sun, I’ve discovered more abilities. Would you like to know about them?”

Lena can only stare.

“If I’m close enough...and I concentrate hard enough...I can feel what you’re feeling. It’s not mind reading exactly, but something deeper. I can feel you right now.” She swallows hard. “What have I done to cause you such pain, Lena? I never thought that... If you have to go, I won’t stop you. I just thought...” She sighs defeatedly. “I don’t know what I thought. But it wasn’t this. It wasn’t pain. Or anger. Or betrayal.”

Lena’s eyes widen at the same time as Kara’s. She seemed to realize it only as she spoke the word aloud.

“Betrayal?” Kara whispers, half to herself. “I don’t understand.”

“There’s nothing to understand.”

“You’re lying.”

“Stop it.”

“I can’t! Tell me what’s happening. How can you be so angry with me, but also feel...like this...when we don’t even know each other?”

“But we do.”

At last she admits it.

In the quietest whisper.

“We did. Once. In another life.”

Kara nods slowly. “Where?”

“On Earth.”

“I’ve never been to Earth.”

“Not in this time. But in another...you were Earth’s Champion. Our Protector. The Paragon of Hope.”

“As you are the Protector of Krypton? Our Salvation. The New Dawn.”

Lena shrinks uncomfortably under the titles.

“Will you tell me more?”

“You believe me?”

“Of course I do. You’re Lena Luthor. Also, with my powers I can sense you’re telling the truth, so...” She shrugs lightly at that, a sheepish smile.

“Right. Well, I admit I’m still a bit resentful that after everything I’ve been through, I still didn’t get even a hint of those powers.”

Kara takes her hand again, tentatively this time. She probably thinks Lena will pull away.

She doesn’t.

“There’s been a rumor for ages that you’re immortal. Are you saying that’s not true? From what I’ve read, humans have a shorter life span than us. Your species only live about 85 years or so.”

“I’ve heard the rumor and, yes, the average human lifespan is shorter than a Kryptonian’s.”

“You look pretty darn good for your age if you’re preparing to join Rao in a few cycles.”

Lena has to laugh. She lets Kara lead her away from the platform and down to the street. They walk hand in hand.

“So you’re not immortal?”

“It remains to be seen.”

“Then maybe our white sun did give you a hint of something after all.”

“Maybe. I have yet to ascertain the cause.”

“I could help you with your study, should you choose to explore it further.”

“You want to study me?”

Kara blushes. “I...I didn’t mean it like that. I only meant—“

“I know what you meant.”

Silence falls between them.

“You’re still holding my hand.”

“You’re still letting me.”

“It’s strange.” She stares. “You’re different. You’re so different than you were before, a completely different person, but somehow...when I look at you, you’re exactly who you’ve always been.”

“Are you different now too?”

“Yes.” She shrugs. “I think so anyway.”

“But we’ve still found each other. That means something.”

“Are you sure you want to hear this? You might be angry with me. I...I made choices that changed your life. A great number of lives.”

“I want to hear everything. But even if I do get angry, I won’t leave. I promise.”

Lena starts at that. How could she know exactly—? The realization hits her.

“My fears...you feel them right now, don’t you?”

Kara nods. “I won’t betray you, Lena. Whatever mistakes I’ve made before...in that other life...I won’t make them again.”

“You’ll make other mistakes.”

“Of course!” She laughs. “I’m gifted, but hardly perfect. You’ll make mistakes too, even if you are the Great New Dawn.”

“Two prodigies...” Lena raises an eyebrow. “I don’t know how people stand us. We must be insufferable to be around.”

“I can’t be held accountable for the jealousy of others.”

Lena chuckles. “Good to know you’re as competitive as ever.”

“And you? Are you competitive as well?”

“On occasion...when it comes to the right things.”

Kara grins. “Tell me more about Earth.”

“Earth or...you on Earth?”

“Both. Or just one. Whatever you like. We have all the time we need. We’ll get to it eventually.”

“Kara?”

“Yes?”

“What do you want?”

“You.”

“How do you know that?”

“I just do.”

“You’re not afraid?”

“Of losing you? Yes, I’m afraid. I thought I did when you left me in the Grove that night.”

“It’s different this time though.”

“Different how?”

“You were afraid before. O-on Earth. So you lied to me. Hid things from me. You were afraid I’d reject you.”

“So I lost you anyway?”

“For a while.”

“I know who I am and I want to share all of that with you. I’m afraid I’ll lose you if I don’t. Do you think that means I learned my lesson with a second chance?”

“Even though you don’t remember the first?”

Kara tilts her head thoughtfully. “Are you familiar with the theological concept of reincarnation?”

Lena nods.

“Many species and cultures detail it differently, but the belief that a soul does not reside in an afterlife fascinates me. The idea that one could instead be reborn and is destined to learn new lessons with each life that it failed to learn in the last. Maybe we found a way to do that without needing to die at all.”

“Are you sure you’re the First Order of the Science Council? Because that sounds an awful lot like preaching I’ve heard from the Religious Guild. You’re in the wrong profession.”

Kara rolls her eyes. “If anything, I should have joined the Artisans. But it’s too late for that.”

Lena’s quiet for a moment. They’re walking along streets she’s never seen before and doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter.

“I think I’m learning...” she says softly, “that it’s never too late. If you want something enough, it’s never too late.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Lena looks around. “Do you know where you’re going?”

“No, I thought you did.”

“No. I guess we’re lost then.”

Kara shrugs with a charming, sunny smile that lights her whole face. It’s the one that Lena hasn’t seen in over 40 years and it takes her breath away.

“Oh well.” Kara squeezes Lena’s hand happily. “I suppose we’ll find our way together.”

#supergirl #supercorp #supercorp fanfic #supercorp fic #supercorp fanfiction #dont read this #im sorry #it was a rambling stream of conscious moment

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lettheladylead · 3 years ago

Text

Not Your Aunt

Chapter 8: Webby [ao3 link]

It had officially been one week since Goldie first stepped foot in the manor. And she was still there. This was the longest she’d ever spent in Scrooge’s home since his cabin in the Klondike (excluding times when she was sick or injured, of course).

She was pretty sure, by this point, that Scrooge was avoiding her. He’d been spending a lot of time with his daughter (or whatever) and a lot of time at the Money Bin trying to fix the many issues that cropped up over the past few months with his money managers betraying him, but then even the time he did spend at the manor seemed to always involve other people besides her. The only alone time they’d had was right after he crawled into bed, but every single night their conversations were brief and then he’d fall right to sleep.

So she was a little annoyed. She’d had a few conversations with the kids, sat in on a few dinners, harassed Beakley, been harassed by Sharpie...it’d been quite the couple of days. But it was getting late and she couldn’t wait much longer to talk to him about how she was feeling or how he was feeling or where they might want their relationship to go after all of this…

Ugh. Goldie sighed and wandered around the upstairs hallway. She hated thinking about mushy family stuff, but ever since Florida she’d been feeling an unstoppable pull towards the Ducks and she kind of wanted to relax and see what could happen. But if Scrooge couldn’t make any time for her in the next few days, she was definitely leaving and not coming back for at least a year. Love or not, she did not take well to being ignored.

A door ajar in the distance caught Goldie’s attention and she started walking towards it, curiosity being the best cure for her boredom. She wasn’t sure what that room was - Scrooge didn’t redecorate much, but she couldn’t keep track of everything since he collected so much junk and had 50 regular rooms plus another 10 secret rooms and who could remember all of that?

Goldie tried to peek inside, but it was pretty dark except for a small light in the corner. With a shrug, she forwent her usual sneakiness and just fully opened the door to let the light from the hallway light up the room.

She was met with a surprised chirp and two bright eyes staring directly at her.

Goldie stared back, not sure what to make of what she was seeing.

Webbigail was sitting on a table near the back of the room with a giant book on her lap - surrounded by heaps of other similar-looking books. She looked sweaty and grimy, and the whole room was covered in a thick layer of dust.

“...wh-what are you doing here?!” Webby asked, closing the book that was on her lap.

Goldie raised an eyebrow and decided this situation was interesting enough to explore. “I could ask you the same thing,” she said as she took a few steps towards the girl.

Webby frowned and shook her head for a second before wiping her hand across the cover of the book. “I was, um...well...trying to learn some stuff.”

Goldie leaned against the table Webby was sitting on and craned her neck so she could properly see what she was holding. Oh. “In an ancient photo album?”

“Yeah,” Webby said a little sadly. “Uncle S-, er...my dad has been telling me all about our family...well, just more than usual, I guess...but some things still weren’t quite adding up and I thought maybe I could piece things together on my own.”

Goldie raised an eyebrow and stared at the girl without responding.

She didn’t seem to notice. “I’ve always liked connecting things together...before I was told anything about the McDuck Clan or my dad’s life story, I went through all his different biographies and the photos he has around the house and tried to figure it all out myself. And now he’s telling me things that almost, like...conflict with other things he’s said or other things I’ve read about and it’s just getting confusing.”

“Well,” Goldie said quietly, “he is pretty old, you know. Could be he’s just forgetting some things or mixing up stories.”

“But...but he’s Scrooge McDuck!” Webby said with a frown, opening the photo album again. “It’s one thing to forget a few details from a story, but like…” She pointed to a photo of Scrooge’s parents and a very small baby duckling. “The back of this photo says it’s from 1939, but whose baby is that?! Hortense didn’t have kids until the 1980s and Matilda never had kids so is this just some random baby or-”

“That’s Gideon,” the blonde answered, pointing to the way the baby’s hair stuck out at the top. “Scrooge’s half-brother.”

Webby stared at the photo again, then up at Goldie, her mouth wide open in shock. “Wh...wait, so...does that mean one of my grandparents had a baby with someone else while they were still married?”

“Uhh…” Goldie leaned back and scratched her neck. She knew Scrooge didn’t like to talk about his brother much, but she’d met the man a few times so there was no point ignoring the physical similarities. Though the complications of his conception might be why Scrooge didn’t bring him up. “...something like that. Don’t worry about the details too much.”

“Worrying about the details is exactly why I’m here,” Webby mumbled, flipping through a few more pages. She glanced up at Goldie. “You know my family really well, don’t you?”

“Not by choice, but yeah. If you think Scrooge loves to talk about his family now, you wouldn’t believe how he was back in the day. Very talkative.”

“I know the feeling,” Webby said, chuckling a bit to herself. “Lena said I’ve always been a little too obsessed with the McDuck family and now I’ve gotten even worse.”

Goldie felt an unfamiliar twinge in her chest and plopped a hand down on Webby’s head. “If she’s still sticking around, it doesn’t bother her as much as she says it does. Trust me.”

The preteen seemed to think about that, letting out a low hum while she considered Goldie’s words. “Trusting you doesn’t seem like the smart thing to do, but it sounds like you’re talking from experience.”

Goldie removed her hand from Webby’s head and shoved it back in her pocket. “Despite what your granny says, I’m not always lying.”

Webby turned her whole body towards Goldie. “I don’t think you were lying about Gideon either...so...would it be okay if I asked you about other confusing photos from any of these albums?”

Goldie sighed and lifted herself up to sit on the table, too. “You can. I really think you should just ask Scrooge about all this stuff, though. A few memory lapses here and there doesn’t mean he’s going to withhold entire family members from you.”

“I know, I know,” Webby mumbled and held the album against her chest. “I’m just still getting used to all this. I feel like I should know all these people already, y’know? Like...like Elvira Coot, the mother of Quackmore Duck, isn’t related to Scrooge McDuck at all, but they refer to each other as cousins in a lot of old letters. Is it just them being friendly with each other? Or is my research totally and completely wrong?”

“They’ve just known each other for a very long time,” Goldie said matter-of-factly. “Some people call old friends brother or sister, some people call them cousin. Scrooge usually just generally calls everyone his family, but some people get friendly little titles.”

“That’s very confusing.”

“It is what it is,” Goldie bent one of her legs so she could lean on her knee. “Scrooge has always enjoyed being a little confusing.”

“Is that why he likes you? ‘Cause you’re confusing, too?” Webby asked with an innocent tilt of her head.

Goldie rolled her eyes. “Maybe. I’m sure he’s got a long list of reasons why he does or doesn’t like me.”

Webby huffed out a short laugh as she tapped her hands on the open album page. There were photos of a few familiar members of Scrooge’s family and even a baby picture of Donald and Della.

“...you are really confusing,” Webby said, breaking the awkward silence. She didn’t let Goldie interrupt as she continued. “I don’t think I understand you at all. You’ve been here for a whole week so...are you moving in? Or what’s going on?”

“I’m just here to talk to Scrooge.” Goldie grabbed a photo album that was next to her on the table and flipped it open. “He’s been particularly busy this past week so I’m waiting.”

Webby watched her flip through pages and wondered if there were going to be any more secret relatives she didn’t know about in there. “I didn’t think you liked waiting for things.”

“Not a huge fan, no.”

“But you’re still here,” Webby mused. She watched as Goldie stopped flipping pages and stared down at a photo of Hortense and Quackmore, clearly having a fun time on their wedding day. It was a very sweet picture. “Huey says you and Scrooge are gonna get married, too.”

Goldie rolled her eyes and flipped past the wedding photo. “I’m sure he did.”

“If you did get married...would that make you my mom?”

Goldie closed the album and glared down at the girl next to her, annoyed that these kids were so interested in weddings and marriages. “Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” Webby asked, trying not to seem too confused.

“Why would it?” Goldie said with a hand to her forehead. “At the most, I’d be your stepmother, and that’s only in the very unlikely scenario where I say ‘yes’ to Scrooge’s proposal.”

“But this is a hypothetical scenario, so...if you did get married...would I be allowed to call you mom?”

“Ugh.” She knew there was a line here where her crabbiness would start to offend, but Goldie was not enjoying this line of questioning. “Even in this magical, crazy, hypothetical scenario...I would rather you didn’t. If I’m being completely honest, I’m still uncomfortable hearing you call Scrooge ‘Dad’.”

Webby, rather than be offended like Goldie thought, laughed out loud. “You think you’re uncomfortable with it?! I’ve been saying it over and over in my head all week and it still doesn’t sound right!”

Goldie raised an eyebrow at her and Webby froze, clearly surprised at her own outburst, and settled down. “Sorry. I shouldn’t say that. It’s just a little weird still.”

“Why shouldn’t you talk about how weird it is?” Goldie asked genuinely, leaning back on her hands. “If you don’t want to call him ‘Dad’ then you don’t have to.”

“That’s easy for you to say,” Webby mumbled, imitating Goldie’s lean. “If I go back to calling him ‘Uncle Scrooge’ then it’s gonna seem like I’m rejecting him or something. That’s too mean. I can’t be mean like that.”

“It’s not mean.” Goldie sighed and turned towards the younger girl. “It’s your life. Call him whatever feels right to you."

Webby leaned her head back to stare up at the ceiling. "I've never had a dad or a mom before so I think I should keep trying for a little longer. It might just feel weird 'cause it's so unfamiliar."

"Or maybe it feels weird because it is weird," Goldie grumbled. "His DNA was stolen and used to create you, sure. So he's your father, but does that really make him your dad?"

The younger girl glared at the ceiling for a moment before turning towards Goldie again. "I don't understand what you mean."

"Being your biological father is significant, obviously. But family is whatever you want it to be." Goldie sighed and stared down at another photo - one of a much younger looking Scrooge. "You can run away from it. You can accept it without question. Or you can just try to figure it out."

Webby watched Goldie's face - trying to read the woman's expression as she stared at the photo. "I think I get that."

"Your grandmother wouldn't appreciate you listening to me, you know."

She smiled. "I know. But it's kind of interesting to get a more...outside perspective. I mean you're not not part of the family, but you weren't a part of all…" Webby waved her hands around for emphasis. "...this stuff."

"I suppose," Goldie said as she put the photo of Scrooge back down. A part of her really wanted to take it, especially knowing that Scrooge never went into this room so he likely hadn't looked at any of these photos in over fifty years. He wouldn't miss it!

"Do you think...um…" Webby stumbled over her words. "...do you think he'd be mad if I started calling him Uncle Scrooge again?"

"No," Goldie answered sternly. "He wouldn't be mad. Especially given everything that's happened with your family lately, I think an opportunity for some normalcy would be appreciated."

Webby flipped to another page in the photo album while Goldie spoke, and her eyes widened as she saw a familiar face in one of the old photos. She looked back up at Goldie and then back down at the photo. "So...if I call him Uncle Scrooge, then I guess I can call you Aunt Goldie, huh?"

Goldie turned to scold Webby for bringing up that nickname that she always knew would come up around these Duck children...when she came face-to-face with a photograph she didn't even know existed. Webby was holding it up dramatically, smiling smugly as she did so.

It was a slightly out-of-focus snapshot of Scrooge and Goldie in wedding attire, at an altar. Pretty clearly getting married.

Goldie quickly snatched it from the girl's hand and turned it around to check if there was a date or any notes. In Scrooge's handwriting it said "1953. Almost felt real."

She blushed a bit and turned it back around. "...I didn't know there were any pictures from this."

"And to think you made such a big deal out of my hypothetical scenario! But you're already married!" Webby looked more smug than she'd looked in a while, clearly ready to announce this news to the whole family.

Goldie frowned, unable to tear her face away from the image. Both her and Scrooge's faces were visible and, despite being at a bit of a distance, she could see just how happy they were at that moment. "...it was a con. A business decision. Not a real marriage."

"So you got an annulment afterwards?"

She laughed. "You think Scrooge would waste money on something like that? No, we just...moved on. I completely forgot it even happened."

"Well, Aunt Goldie, it doesn't look like he's forgotten."

Goldie sighed and pocketed the photo, wondering if she should show it to Scrooge later and shake out some memories. "Clearly he hasn't been in this room for a long time, so I wouldn't assume that."

Webby's excitement died down just a bit as she noticed Goldie's lack of embarrassment. "Isn't this...I mean, I know you say you don't wanna marry him, but you're still here despite everything plus you're already married! You really are Aunt Goldie and I don't get why you'd try to fight it."

The blonde frowned and exhaled loudly through her nostrils, trying to think of the best way to explain how she felt. "You've spent a long time idolizing Scrooge, right? Wanting to be a part of his family and whatnot."

"...yeah?"

"And from what I could tell, you two were getting close over the past few years. You called him Uncle Scrooge, he remembered your name. Yeah?"

"...uh-huh…" Webby had a feeling she knew where this was going.

"But now that this father-daughter thing was suddenly dumped in your lap in such a...such an awful way, really, you're feeling weird about it. Maybe it feels a little hollow, like this is what you wanted but it's not how you wanted it."

Webby frowned deeply - Goldie was completely right, but hearing the words said so casually didn't make her feel better about it.

"...that's what that wedding was for me," Goldie finished, finally connecting the two thoughts together. "I'd...wanted to be closer to him. I thought we were headed there. And then he suggested that plan and how could I say no? He was splitting the money with me 60/40 and I knew I could steal my missing ten percent whenever I felt like it."

"So you wanted to get married, but then you did but for the wrong reasons?"

Goldie sighed and shrugged. "Basically. It was a long time ago. Things change."

"And some things don't change," Webby added, noticing that Goldie was still staring at the photo in her hand. "You've had decades to talk to him about this, so why haven't you?"

"Eh," Goldie answered and stuffed the photo into her pocket. "Adult relationships are complicated."

Webby shook her head. "Not all of them. Just the ones that don't talk to each other."

Goldie glared down at Webby again, but the girl was already flipping pages in the album once more. She wasn't going to whine to a kid about how she was trying to talk to Scrooge but he was just making it difficult. Maybe if she told him she'd spent some time with his kid, he'd finally sit down and talk to her.

"Who's this?" Webby asked suddenly, pointing to another photo.

This one was older - depicting a young Scrooge (maybe nine years old?) with an even younger child that looked very similar to him. Goldie pouted and put a hand to her chin before grabbing the photo and turning it over to see if anything was written on the back.

"Oh, this is Douglas. One of Scrooge's cousins."

"On whose side?" Webby asked curiously.

Goldie shrugged. "Not sure. I know he lived alone in the Netherlands somewhere until he died, but he and Scrooge weren't very close, from what I could tell."

"Oh." Webby looked down at the photo, not really being able to read either child's expression. She supposed photos from the 1870s were rarely as expressive as ones from modern day. "You really know a lot about my family.”

"It's completely useless information taking up valuable space in my brain," Goldie complained with a smirk. "Maybe I'd be fluent in Mandarin if not for Scrooge."

Webby smiled, happy that she was able to recognize Goldie's words as a joke. "Well it's not useless to me. Thanks, Aunt Goldie."

Goldie frowned and rolled her eyes, but that just made Webby smile. She felt like she was starting to understand this woman...just a little bit.

A realization hit her and Webby suddenly gasped before hopping off the table. Goldie watched her with curious surprise. "I need to update my board!" Webby said as she rushed towards the door.

Goldie raised an eyebrow and hopped off the desk to follow. "I have no idea what that means!"

She followed Webby out the door and down the hall, until the girl was back in her own room. Goldie stuck her head inside just in time to see the unveiling of an insane-looking board filled with photos and string and notes and hearts and…

"...is that a locket with my face in it?" Goldie mumbled as she continued into the room. She stared at the locket as Webby ran around looking for something.

As she reached out to grab the strangely unfamiliar locket, Webby was suddenly on a step stool next to her and reaching for it herself. Goldie watched silently as the girl tugged her away from her little grouping of villains (rude) and moved her oh-so-closer to Scrooge.

Goldie blushed the slightest bit as Webby shortened the string, added some little hearts, and slammed a sticky note between them that said MARRIED-ISH!

"There's no way I'm letting you keep that up."

Webby laughed and wagged her finger in Goldie's face. "I'll just put it back when you leave!"

Goldie crossed her arms over her chest. "Then I'll just have to st...hm."

Webby's eyes were sparkling.

"...visit more often."

The correction didn't dull Webby's sparkle, instead she just smiled brighter. "I think everyone would really like that."

Goldie raised an eyebrow. "Nice try, but I can assure you that your grandmother would sooner attend my funeral than enjoy having me around."

Webby hopped off the step stool. "Then you'll just have to win her over!" she said with a skip as she pushed the stool back to its regular spot.

"Yeah...I don't really see that happening," Goldie mumbled, not objecting when Webby grabbed her hand and tugged her towards the door.

"I think you could be friends! You just have to try!"

Goldie rolled her eyes but still didn't pull her hand out of Webby's grip. "Don't get your hopes up, Pink," she said with a sigh, but there was a little part of her that wondered if getting along with the whole family was even possible. She'd spent so long pushing away from Scrooge and his family and his friends that she'd never really considered what it would be like to actually...try. And she struggled to admit it, but...she wanted to find out.

She squeezed Webby's little hand and stared down at the bouncing bow on her head. Goldie still wasn't anyone's aunt, but...if she had to be, Scrooge's kids would be her first choice.

#ducktales #goldie o'gilt #webby vanderquack #scroldie #not your aunt #fic #fics #this is the final chapter yayayayyayyyy

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memecucker · 3 years ago

Note

Tell me more of this Ice Cream Man comic. Comics have always seemed like a difficult medium for horror. So much of it relies on visuals, so a single weakness in the art can being down the whole story. Especially in modern comics where things may be handled by 2-4 people who don't always communicate with each other.

So I’ve only read four of the volumes currently out but if you want a stupidly simplified summary of the premise- The Ice Cream Man is a horror anthology series with mostly self-contained stories (youre still supposed to read in order and there are plenty of connections between stories but each issue is its own full narrative) wherein the eponymous Ice Cream Man (also known as Rick, because he’s also an actual ice cream truck driver) is a malevolent entity with near godlike powers who torments the inhabitants of a mid-sized town relentlessly. His overt participation in the stories varies greatly in that sometimes he seems to trap souls in a special version of Hell where they endure an endless loop of their most traumatic moments and sometimes he whispers to someone enough they become a murderer and sometimes he just outright kills someone.

But what makes the comic special imo (and I’m not gonna pretend to be an expert on horror comics) compared to lots of horror media I’ve seen recently is how the Ice Cream Man relishes in a very specific type of despair, he doesnt inflict terror on people rather he wants to see them crumble from the inside. So in the issue where he whispers to a girl and drives her to become a serial killer, the goal isnt to feed on the fear of her victims or something like that, rather the object was the emotions of her father and his simultaneous (and somewhat contradictory depending on how you view it) feelings of having lived a wasted life while also having boundless love for his daughter and to see how those pillars of the father’s psyche respond to the revelation of his daughter’s actions.

And I dont wanna spoil too many things but Issue #4 is one that seems to stay with a lot of people (so maybe think about checking it out if you want fresh eyes) and in that the first half of the narrative is a very human drama where you have this protag guy who goes to the funeral of his friend that had suddenly died of a disease and while at the funeral runs into his friend’s deadbeat dad (who had kept his distance during the actual ceremony out of guilt) and unwittingly ends up getting some drinks with the aforementioned deadbeat dad at the latter’s insistence. While having drinks protag guy (who is married with a pregnant wife) starts to loosen up about his feelings and asks the dad guy how he was able to leave his family while quickly mentioning that the question was not own of judgement but of understanding because protag guy has been feeling that between his boring job and his marriage and upcoming family life that his own life has been taken away from him and he’s just feeling incredibly empty and keeps thinking about how the dad abandoned his friend’s family many years ago and fantasizing about doing it himself. The dad then gives a recounting of what he did after he left and a pretty touching rebuttal to the friend entertaining similar ideas because they have a heart to heart where the dad talks more about how he basically had very similar feelings and that he thought leaving his family would bring him to a new world of possibilities when in fact the world is full of locked doors and abandoning his wife and child he hadn’t opened possibilities but shut off the most important one which was a relationship with his child. And like its all very sweet and touching and the protag has a change of heart and stuff but Rick the Ice Cream Man had yet to make his appearance yet and when he does its by revealing that he has captured the soul of the deceased friend and despite him being a perfectly innocent person subjects him to an eternity in hell cycling through various tortures before finally settling on one that was most ideal- to make him a little kid again and have to spend the rest of eternity reliving the singular moment his father had walked out of the family home for the last time over and over again with the feelings of trauma never lessening. Right after the living deadbeat dad had such a touching sequence of how deep his guilt is and how he wants to stop others from making the same mistake.

And if youre reading anything metaphorical about infliction of trauma in a general sense thats intended because something I really enjoy about the comic is the amount of symbolism that gradually unfolds. Like I wont be giving multiple examples of this but one quick one that doesnt involve much spoilers is how the Ice Cream Man is an ice cream man in the first place. Because what do people say to little kids that only want to eat ice cream? That its gonna rot their teeth. And Rick the Ice Cream Man wants to see people rot, whether the rot is from something “good” or “bad” doesnt matter because it can be jealousy or it can be compassion as long as they break and become covered with insects (which visually feature very heavily as well like this is not a comic for “maybe the curtain’s are just blue” types).

So yeah, I recommend it. Not every single story I’ve read is like what I described above. Like some stories have fantastical or historical settings and also some are “horror” in a very loose sense like Tale’s From the Crypt comics (which btw I’m certain Ice Cream Man is heavily inspired by also if you haven’t check out the original EC Comic’s Tales from the Crypt stories like you’ll be surprised how good the writing is considering its from the early 50s but those were pre-CCA and the CCA was an utter blight on creativity oh yeah this is supposed to be a parenthetical remark) in that its more “weird stuff happening” than something actually “horrifying” and some that I’d say are really more existential and maybe tragic than “horror” per se but yeah whatever memecucker reccomendation

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tilbageidanmark · 3 years ago

Photo

Movies I watched this week - 49

When Marnie Was There, a Beautiful, Beautiful Ghibli story of a lonely, introverted and sad 12-year-old girl who befriends a mysterious girl living in an abandoned mansion. Modern animation and old-fashioned sentiments. 8/10.

✴️

2 With Tom Courtenay:

✳️✳️✳️ “...You know, you have three editions of this Kierkegaard book, and I don’t think you ever read past chapter two?...”

45 years, a subtle story about Charlotte Rampling and Tom Courtenay, a married old English couple, who live in a house with no family photos. The only 2 dramatic moments in the film bookend it: It opens with a letter telling the husband that a body of his former dead lover from 50 years ago was found in the Swiss mountains. And it closes with a final shot on her quiet, devastated face.

(Photo Above). 9/10

✳️✳️✳️ Working-class rebelliousness in Tony Richardson‘s The Loneliness of the Long Distance Runner. He could run, but he could not hide. A mixed bag of realism and class consciousness in early sixties Britain.

With James Fox in an early uncredited role. 4/10

✴️

Rachel Weisz X 2:

✳️✳️✳️ Paolo Sorrentino’s rich 2016 Youth. A wistful and patient movie about very old friends Michael Caine and Harvey Keitel vacationing at the luxury Hotel Schatzalp at the Swiss alps. Gorgeous, moving tableaux and subtle reflections on aging, regrets, life & death - Shocking it was created by a a man in his 40′s.

This is my second Paolo Sorrentino film. I must see the rest of his “oeuvre” now!

Eat your heart out, Wes Anderson & shut the fuck up! 9/10.

✳️✳️✳️ Disobedience, my 2nd film by Chilean director Sebastián Lelio (after ‘A Fantastic Woman’). A Jewish love story set up in a strict North London orthodox community. But what starts with a rabbi’s estranged daughter who returns for the funeral of her father, turn unexpectedly into a complicated and intense same-sex relationship. 'May you have a long life'... 7+/10

✴️

Another Lesbian love story, my first Venezuelan film, Liz in September. It is based on ‘Last Summer at Bluefish Cove’ by Jane Chambers, a landmark Lesbian Play from 1980, transplanted into a tiny beach resort (Like the one me and Sammy sailed into in 2005). The short soft core scene when the two women finally make love is one of the few I ever saw in any regular, non-porn films, that worked.

✴️

Kodi Smit-McPhee X 2:

✳️✳️✳️ The Power of the Dog, Jane Campion‘s restrained new neo-Western, based on a story of Thomas Savage, a closeted writer whose Western stories often told of sexually ostracized, mistreated outsiders in the prairies of the west. 1925 Montana is reminiscent of ‘Days of Heaven’ and ‘Brokeback Mountain’.

Best film of the week.

✳️✳️✳️ The Road, a dark, harrowing post-apocalyptic survival film, about life after “The End” in a world without color. Our future when we are the last humans on earth. Uncompromising, bleak and hopeless. 8/10. Re-watch.

✴️

...”One side will make you larger“...

Disney’s classic 1951 Alice in Wonderland, one of about 25 film versions of the Lewis Carroll story. I think this is the first time I’ve seen it in full. Serious psychedelic vibes, especially in the smoking caterpillar and other “mad” characters.

✴️

Disillusioned and uncompromising lesbian grandma Lily Tomlin is helping her cute granddaughter Julia Garner to get an abortion. 3 generations of females fighting for their rights in a road movie one day in Los Angeles. 7/10

✴️

I re-watched Seven Beauties, a grotesque comedy-tragedy, a brutal struggle for survival, in a Neapolitan insane asylum, in war and in a concentration camp. About a clownish pimp obsessed with the notion of honor who has none. And in spite of the melodramatic flourishes, I actually found the graphic reality of the Nazi atrocities more ‘realistic’ here than most other descriptions (’Schindler’s list’, ‘Life is beautiful’, Etc.). The uncomfortable, jazzy opening sequence of course was brilliant.

RIP Lina Wertmüller.

✴️

First watch: Greta Gerwig in Frances Ha, about a struggling 27-year-old dancer in NYC and her platonic love-friendship with Sophie, her “best friend”. A black and white love letter to the French New Wave, and Frances (”France”s...) is a character that could be in an early Godard or Truffaut film. 8/10.

✴️

2 American documentaries:

✳️✳️✳️ Grey Gardens, my first (and last?) Cinéma vérité documentary by Albert and David Maysles. Spending 90 long minutes with an eccentric fiftysomething woman and her sick mother, living in squalor at a decrepit mansion in East Hampton, crawling with raccoons, fleas and feral cats. They were two mentally-different, reclusive cousins of Jackie Kennedy, but listening to their endlessly-rambling monologues felt exploitative, cruel and depressing.

✳️✳️✳️ Vivian Liberto was the first wife of Johnny Cash. Their love was intense, and they were married very young. After she gave birth to his 4 daughters, and he became a country music superstar, he left her for June Carter Cash, and subsequently she was written out of his ‘official’ biography.

In My Darling Vivian her 4 daughters, now older, re-tell her story. It’s warm and touching, and she deserved better from her husband, but there isn’t much in the documentary besides setting the record straight. 4/10.

✴️

First watch: Alfonso Cuarón’s explicit love triangle Y tu mamá también, about two teenage boys who take a road trip with a slightly older woman. The parts I liked the most though are the throw-away little background shots of the villages they pass through and the people they meet along the way.

✴️

Voir, a new Netflix series of short 'Explainer’ video essays about 'Cinema’ produced by David Fincher, a sort-of continuation of Tony Zhou and Taylor Ramos of “Every Frame a Painting”. 6 uneven, and somehow shallow, episodes that try to appeal to living-room cinephiles. 5/10.

Instead I will watch Thom Andersen’s ‘Los Angeles Plays Itself’.

✴️

Because of ^ Void ^, I re-watched 2 of the movies they discussed:

✳️✳️✳️ Jaws - The first summer blockbuster and the source of innovation of much of cinema language since. Still a perfect movie, full with a young person’s visions.

...”Farewell and adieu to you fair Spanish ladies.

Farewell and adieu to you ladies of Spain”...

✳️✳️✳️ 48 Hours though did not age that well. In spite of the Walter Chow episode above analyzing it as a profound examination of systemic racism, it’s still just a dated 1980′s action flick. 3/10.

✴️

The New Tenants, (on Youtube), a short written by Anders Thomas Jensen (Another Danish film shot in The US!). With the Librarian from Erin Brockovich (Jamie Harrold) and Vincent D'Onofrio. A meaningless story that sill manages to end with a lovely street dance by the two boys, and a recipe for Cinnamon Buns. 2/10

✴️

In The kitchen, 3 Hell's Kitchen mob wives in the 1970s take over their husbands' rackets after the mobsters are locked up in prison. Similar story to Steve McQueen’s ‘Widows’ which premiered at the same time, but absolutely not as well-played, well-plotted and as emotionally fulfilling. 2/10

- - - - -

Throw-back to the art project:

Alice in Wonderland Adora.

The Road Adora.

Jaws Adora.

- - - - -

(My complete movie list is here)

#movies

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scottymcgeesterwrites · 3 years ago

Text

Ambiguous

There has been something I need to write about and shout into the void. It has been tearing me apart, and I don’t know how people will react elsewhere, so I figured this was the safest place. This will be the soft reveal before even speaking about it to my friends. Or maybe I will never speak about it ever again. Maybe I will feel fine after writing it this way. For my entire life, people have mistaken me for being Indian, to the point where actual Indians walk up to me and start speaking in their dialect. My mile-long blank stare makes them realize that I am not Indian, and one of two things happen - they either apologize and explain they mistook me for Indian, or they exclaim, “You’re NOT Indian?”

I’m Cuban and Colombian. I grew up in New Jersey. I am an American citizen but it gets confusing when you take into account that my mother flew to Santiago, Chile to have me there because of a clinic that specialized in geriatric pregnancy at the time, so my “birthplace” reads Chile on my passport. That’s always a mouthful to have to explain and it further confuses people, so I end up saying, “I was born in New Jersey”. My skin tone is best described as ambiguous. I could be many things. I’ve gotten Middle Eastern, Indian, and specifically “Egyptian”. I have no idea why “Egyptian” but. Whatever. I have always lived in some liminal space where people ask the dreaded question, “What are you?” Now here’s the most frustrating thing of all - not everyone who has asked me that was white. Growing up, I thought that I could relate to someone who wasn’t white to understand how I feel. Black people have asked me that. Indian people have asked me that. Middle Eastern people have asked me that. Cubans and Colombians have asked me that. Throughout my youth, I was paranoid that maybe I was adopted or something, given how people didn’t seem to connect me with my parents. I was told that my Cuban side hails from Spain, but my Colombian side is shrouded in mystery. My dad never liked to talk about my family. I never knew anyone past my grandparents. Well, I did meet my great-grandmother once when I was seven, but she had practically turned back into a baby at that point, banging on the table demanding food and needing to be spoon-fed. My own people don’t recognize me, and they often say things like, “You don’t LOOK Latino!” or “What? You’re LATINO?” and the best one yet “You don’t SOUND Spanish!” The worst offenders, however, would laugh and say, “¡Pareces Hindu!” which means “You look Hindu!” Hindu is the religion, dumbass. Anyone, and I mean anyone, can be racist and slip some “micro-aggression”. I am not fluent in Spanish, but I can write and understand every word in Spanish. I often inadvertently offend Spanish-speaking people when I reply to them in English when they thought they were being sneaky by talking in Spanish around me. The reason I don’t speak Spanish as fast as my peers is because of two reasons: 1. My parents at the time when I grew up believed in the misconception and pseudoscientific belief that children will be “confused” if two or more languages are spoken in the house. 2. Central New Jersey, where I grew up, hadn’t yet seen many Hispanic people, so locals at the time often leered at people who spoke Spanish in public. When my mother took me to our local Gymboree, I spotted a butterfly and shouted in Spanish, “¡Mariposa! ¡Mariposa!”. The other mothers kept staring at me, and then distanced themselves from us. The weirdest thing ever was experiencing white people who studied the Spanish language better than me and making fun of me for actually being Spanish but being unable to speak it fluently. I had a crush on this girl whom I’ll call “Anjy” in freshman year of college. It took me until now to realize that I think she had a Latino fetish. Anjy only exclusively went out with Latino men, but never seemed to openly admit it. The only thing she did admit was that, “I can only be with a man who speaks Spanish. It’s so important to me.” So obviously I wasn’t a contender, despite being Latino. Anjy doesn’t have an ounce of Spanish in her. None. But she studied it since high school and fell in love with it and became Spanish’s #1 fan. I was so jealous of how fluent she was. She could roll her r’s and speak it beautifully. Since we became friends, I said to her, “Oh, I can finally practice my Spanish with someone!” We tried, but she laughed at me and said, “I’m sorry. I can’t do this anymore. You sound like a gringo.” It’s a very topsy-turvy world where some white girl uses a derogatory term on me, a derogatory term from my culture that describes an outsider, used to describe me. She went to Costa Rica after we graduated, lived there for a few years, and came back home with a husband. (That’s when I fully realized just how much she fetishized us.) A few years ago, my now-fiancée gifted me a DNA test for my birthday. That came out of left field for me, and opened up a range of emotions that I wasn’t ready for. She said she remembered how I wondered aloud why I looked the way I looked and about my ancestry. I sat on the DNA test for a while.

I stared at it.

I held the kit in my hands.

I opened it and closed it. What if I really was Indian? What if I found out something that made me feel so much worse? But how bad could it be? I was also wary about the company keeping my DNA for nefarious reasons. However, luckily enough, my fiancée had bought the kit from AncestryDNA - the one DNA company that has responded to people saying they would delete their DNA at their request. I bit the bullet and sent my sample. When the test came back, I opened it up and everything made sense. It made so much sense that I laughed out loud. It’s so funny how nobody has guessed the only other possibility for my skin tone that is what I actually am. I am pretty much half native to the Americas. I’m not sure what that’s called. Native American seems to be associated exclusively to North America. So Native South American? Native to the Americas? Native American (et al)? The Colombian side can be traced through turmoil in South America, up through Mesoamerica, and into North America. So many spots lit up all over the Americas. And like the Cuban side said, I was indeed from Spain as well. I was split right down the middle. 50/50. The native side and the European side were practically screaming at each other in my genes. I felt as though a great weight had been lifted from me that I didn’t even know was there. I knew for a fact that I was my parents’ son. I had an explanation for why I look the way I look, and it made sense and it was obvious. It didn’t end there though. I didn’t feel Native American. I had no cultural connection to anything “native”. I tried thinking in terms of my personality though. I always had a strong belief in saving the land and respecting the dead. I did vandalize a construction site back in my high school days to preserve farmland. My family did like to decorate the house with Aztec and Mayan statues. Aside from that though, I had about as much personal connection to native culture as Olive Garden does to Italy. The thing about my parents being from Cuba and Colombia is that those were two very violent and turbulent places in the past century. After I tell people where my families hail from, they always asked me with wide-eyes, “Oh have you been there???” Well, I dunno man. If you have any inkling of what’s going on the world you would know the awkward relationship that the United States has had with Cuba, and what it means to be a fucking exile. And the fact that Colombia has seen gang wars for the entirety of my life. So no. I haven’t. When I was a little boy I asked my parents if we would ever visit Colombia or Cuba, but they told me we shouldn’t go back. Colombia was violent, and Cuba’s government watched everyone. My mother was afraid of what would happen if she tried going back. Maybe they wouldn’t let her, or us. Maybe they’d let us through but I wouldn’t even be allowed to return if they knew I was the son of an exile. Worse yet, they might detain my mother. You never know when your family had beef with the government and was told to leave. And what really drives a knife in my heart is hearing people ask that really annoying question. “Have you visited???” As if they were hot and exotic touristy locales. No. Because my parents were forced to flee, because they needed a better life. “Wouldn’t your mom love it if you got married in Cuba? She would get to visit her home!” You don’t get the trauma she has. You don’t understand how much of a toll it would take on her to return home and see all the things she once knew and love gone or tarnished. She received word recently that the farmhouse she grew up in now became a restaurant. The house that my grandfather built by hand. Strangers now sit and eat there. Maybe tourists. The hotel that my great-grandfather used to own now doesn’t belong to us anymore - the government said it was theirs. There is nothing for her to go back to but loss. I felt distraught when I saw a former college classmate who has become an Instagram influencer immediately visit Cuba once travel restrictions were eased. She posted all about it and acted as if she were an expert about it. She used to be a lawyer in Washington D.C. until she decided to “take hold of her life” and “follow her dream” and go to Bali and now lives everyday in tropical paradise. It seemed like some people were pointing out the hypocrisy in her posts about life given the lifestyle she leads, since she felt the need to say something about it. She made a video where she tried to relate to her followers. She said how “it’s still hard” for her, that she “has to work every day”, and meanwhile literally the next fucking day she posts a picture of her having lunch by a waterfall, or napping in her hammock by the beach. But when she visited Cuba, and took pictures and wrote a long post about the country, I just lost it. She met up with some other white Instagram influencer friend, and they took selfies at a café and lectured about the region and--- That’s supposed to be my country, my culture. I’m supposed to feel that way about my people, not you. I went to a wedding recently in July. This black man slapped me on the back after I cracked a joke and said, “Hey, where you from?”

“New Jersey.” He laughed. “No, but really though. Where are you from?” “New Jersey.” “I mean originally. Your background. What are you?” It was the first time I had been asked that question since I got back my DNA test results, and for some reason it hit me so much differently.

I really wanted to say, “I don’t know.” It’s ironic how knowing what I am made me feel more confused, more alone and more isolated than ever before. I am bad at speaking Spanish, and when I try to practice with other Spanish-speaking people they laugh at me and say, “You sound like a gringo” and say they can’t bear to practice with me. I don’t look Latino. I might look Indian or I might look Middle Eastern. With me, everyone assumes things about me, no matter what they are. Some people have the luxury of automatic and unspoken assumptions about their background. Then there’s me. Not quite tan, not quite white. I don’t raise enough suspicion at the airport to warrant a search but at the same time I have to jump over one extra hurdle when they ask me one extra question: “Where are you from?” or “How long are you staying here?” or “What are you here for?” It’s very subtle and deceptively innocent. Nobody else who is pasty white gets asked any questions. They just stamp their passport and wave them away. I’m just ambiguous enough to warrant that extra step - just in case, you know? I envy people so much who can have a clear culture and place to point and say, “I’ve been there. I’ve been where I come from.” I envy people who can recognize all the idiosyncrasies of their family’s region. I don’t belong to any country or culture or identity. There are only a few scant pieces of culture that my parents passed on to me. “Oh, on Christmas we do this” or “We say this once and a while. That was a common expression there.” I envy people with huge families who have not been estranged by government and bloodshed or lost to time. I envy people who can trace their families back to their grandfathers and great-grandfathers and great-great-grandmothers. As a kid I wish I was able to say something like, “My great-granddaddy fought Nazis in the war!” I will never know anyone beyond that one old great-grandmother who no longer recognized anyone’s face. Everyone else is a name on a tombstone, or a whisper in vague oral history. I envy people who can firmly say, “I am *insert nationality here*” Because I always mumble at that phrase. I am. . .a. . . I am from. . . . uh I am. . . I am.

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the-fiction-witch · 4 years ago

Text

Story P2

REAL LIFE: COUPLE: TBS X READER RATING: SWEET AF

"It actually is kinda interesting because when we met, both y/n and I where in relationships." I answered

"Were you? So how did you meet?"

"I remember, it was a party for a friend of mine it was there uhhh engagement party, he had this big party rented out the whole of this pub in London for his party. So I went with my then girlfriend and she knew some people, I knew some people so we where just sort of hung out either side of the room from each other as we did tend to do we didn't share a lot of friends, And then a Friend of mine Jack came over brought me a beer and asked if I had met Alex's girlfriend. Now Alex was sort of... I guess a friend he was jack's friend and jack is my friend so we sort of knew of each other in parties and such never hung out for of one on one i don't think we were that friendly, and I just shrugged and said well no I hadn't yet but you know always open to meeting new people, and he said off you have to meet her you're gonna love her." I explained "So I followed him though this pub and I saw sat at this little booth table was this girl" "And that was y/n?"

"That was y/n" I nodded "I remember everything as well she had a pair of black ankle boots, these black tights, this huge red petticoat, this little black like uhh very retro sort of 50's 60's style dress, red lipstick that matched the petticoats, and hair done in this tight up do very uuhh very Audrey Hepburn like everything tied up and away from her face and as we went over I heard her say 'Harleys are for posers, they are not worth it with the price and upkeep you pay for the name not a good motorbike'"

"what did you think when you first saw her and heard her say that?"

"I literally just thought. Fuck. this is... quite possibly going to be my new best friend. It was that immediate when you don't even have to talk to someone you just understand your going to like them that was very much my reaction to her, and we met jack introduced us and I think we stood there talking about motorbikes for about two hours

"Did you know you liked her?"

"I don't think I liked her. I don't think it was love at first sight or anything like that I just really wanted to be around her but in a friend sort of way I don't think either of us felt any sort of romantic feelings at that point or if we did, we didn't notice, it was very much a sort of... I wanna be friends with you I wanna hang out with you, we traded numbers and chatted on and off for a while met up for drinks a few times, even double dated with her and Alex me and my girlfriend, we had been on trips as well all four of us we went to the lake district camping all four of us, that didn't go well." I laughed "But we had met maybe... two years ago at that point and my relationship ended, It was a mutual thing I think we both kinda said look this isn't really working, some of it was we had an age gap and there were times you could feel it, we had drifted apart, know ones fault, one of those things." I shrug "and Jack was away at the time, so I went to y/n's and just had a beer or two, watched some old top gear, just generally shot the shit hanging out it was at this point when my relationship was wrapping up we where splitting off from each other that I did sort of start to see y/n a little bit more, Of course I had seen her but I saw her a bit differently and it was one day, me, Alex, y/n, jack and his girlfriend had gone down to south end for the day and I don't know exactly when but at some point in that day I kinda just glanced over at y/n and sort of said to myself... I think I have a crush on y/n."

"It took you that long? I've just been listening to this story and I'm telling you you've had a crush on her longer then that"

"I am not good at noticing these things. I am bad for it I never pick up on it even when it's me I can't tell" I laughed "But she was still with Alex so I kinda went yeah I have a crush, leave it alone it'll go away" "Did it?"

"No"

"shocker"

"It got progressively worse, but I started to kinda distance myself from her because I didn't want to seem weird or to piss Alex off or anything else which she instantly picked up on, the moment I said I didn't want to go over to her's for pizza and star wars she knew something was kinda up. I lied and said I was getting back on the dating scene which I don't think she believed but it worked. and then this was maybe a few months down the line, she was away she was up visiting her family and she had a motorbike crash ended up basically fucking her leg up and she had only taken her motorbike up to visit her family so she was kinda stuck she didn't want to leave her bike there, she couldn't ride home, she couldn't do much of anything and as it happened her sister was just about to go off on a cruise one of those massive cruises she was going to be gone over a month, and her pets where meant to go to her parents house till she got home but y/n said look I'm stuck up here, lets keep them in there own home she'll go and take care of them she'd house sit and cat sit for her sister, and she'd sleep in the spare room until they got back by then her leg should be better" I explained "Now I.... Was not thrilled about this I wanted her to be back in London mostly so I could go see her because at this point the crush was, more Yeah I really really like you sort of level and more then anything I just wanted to look after her since she was hurt and it took maybe two days of her being there that I called her up and said look you can barely walk I do not like you being in this little bungalow all by yourself if you have a fall or the cat's knocks you over or you slip in the supermarket or something bad happens you're miles from anyone who can help the nearest hospital was an hour away, so I said to her, I will come up there I will sleep on the sofa so long as its fine with your sister, and I will do your shopping, clean up, do the stuff that you can't really do because you can't walk" I explained "and she agreed her sister said it was fine so... I went up there."

"You took care of her?"

"I did, I did all her shopping I did her food, we sat around a lot on the sofa just chilling with her sisters cats, It was great and I remember sitting there one day, cat on my lap, beer in my hand watching her as she watched lord of the rings and I remember thinking. Fuck. I don't have a crush on y/n. I don't like y/n. I think... I think I love her. and I don't have an excuse for what I then did because I just kinda reached over and I... Held her hand. and I could feel her heart was a fast as mine was. and she broke this very odd quiet even with the battle of helms deep going on, on the tv. and she said Alex had broken up with her the night before she came up to visit her family, which was part of why she got in the accident because she was driving recklessly because she was still so upset,"

"Alex didn't tell you?"

"No. we still didn't really talk much one on one and even when we did he very rarely spoke about him and y/n or even y/n in general I think he knew, by then I did have a crush on her I don't think he was jealous or anything but I think he knew" I said "And I did the usual Ohh I'm so sorry y/n, we had some ice cream, some wine, ordered KFC five minuets before they closed and just kinda got her though it, she took it a lot harder then when me and my girlfriend split because it wasn't mutual for her and Alex, Alex left her for another woman, and she was as you can imagine quiet broken up about it, they had been together a good four five years by that point and... I think what hurt her even more was that who he then got together with was someone she knew"

"Who was it?"

".... Her best friend. that really broke her because not only has she lost a boyfriend someone she's been with a long long time, but now she can't trust her best friend and really has lost her too because they had been seeing each other while her and Alex were together"

"was she okay?"

"she was after a while, I think me being there helped because she didn't feel quiet so abandoned and alone, but we had a good time anyway. and then once we got back to London, she came over to check out my new house that had just finished being done and she stayed over, and I told her, Look this is really rash, this is probably nuts but I really like you, and as luck would have it she told me that she really liked me to. and we ended up having our first date, we went shopping together we made home made pizza and home made fried chicken together and then sat down and had a cuddle and watched an old doctor who episode."

"what was your sort of mind set on that date?"

"I didn't really think about much it was just really fun it was like having a best friend but you hold hands and maybe you get a little kiss every now and again But I remember looking at her on the sofa as we cuddled under the blanket and I just said to myself. I really fucking love you. But I can't tell you that because I don't want to scare you" I laughed "And from then on we just went on dates whenever we could and about four maybe five months into us dating I said to jack look I don't want to wait anymore, Never in my life had a felt an urgency or anything like that to get married have kids and such but I said to him I feel like when I'm with her, if I don't ask her, I'll lose her forever, and if I do I'll never ever feel this way with someone else again, he said I was nuts. he said slow down. he said you guys don't even live together you haven't even been dating a year it's puppy love, it's the honeymoon phase it's literally just your in a new relationship with someone you really like it's just your getting overwhelmed."

"what did you do?"

"I went home and I had a date with y/n that night and I said to her as we where cooking, what would you say If I told you that I loved you. and she had heard this from me before this wasn't news to her, and she said ohh well I'd say I love you back of course, and I then asked her, What would you say if I told you I wanted to have a baby... With you?"

"Ohhhhhhh"

"and she said, I don't know. But it's something to talk about" I laughed and I left it a while a little worried like that Ohh shit why did I say that I've just freaked her out and then she turned to me and said well if so then I want two girls and a boy, which made me laugh a little and I said yeah I'm okay wit that, and I just literally stood over the sink at her flat washing potatoes, I asked her What if I asked you to marry me?"

"and what did she say?"

"And she stopped a moment and she just smiled and said, I'd say yes. and I kinda freaked out and asked her if she meant it and she asked if I was actually asking and I just went fuck it I didn't plan this out this way but fuck it yes I'm asking you, for real actual will you marry me. and she said yes."

"what did jack have to say?"

"He wasn't happy. He called me a few very unsavoury names but, were happily married now and I do not ever see that changing. and she is now... Pregnant, she's never happy we just found out last week it's twins, twin girls, very happy, very health"

"did you cry?"

"I wasn't actually able to go. Yeah I had a work thing. But she came back and showed me the picture and yes I cried, Like a baby. I didn't even know it was twins, I had a theory just because the bump was so big, and she already knew from earlier scans and she had... dropped a hint a couple of times that it might have been twins but only when the ultrasound came though I got to see my little girls and that was amazing, it is also now up on the wall of our house the nursery is... almost done I uhhh I need to build some stuff. and I'm scared too because it's come from Ikea. but its the cribs so, it has to be done, it's not like the high chair which I can leave for another two months, Odly enough I built that first becuase... it came first and I was just in a baby mood."

"A Baby mood?"

"Yeah when you get really excited and stuff so you do stuff like the nursey and filming the stomach kick and all this sort of stuff. Y/n has not been up to much though, she's mad at me at the moment though"

"Ohh no why?"

"Because I won't let her eat stuff she's not suppose to on her pregnant diet. and she is... lets go with not happy with me" I laugh "Before I came in today I had to put all the stuff she can't have in one cupboard in our kitchen, and..." I laughed showing the key from my pocket "If I don't she'll eat twinkies, chocolate, fridge raiders, uhh there's jaffa cake rolls in there, basically anything you think I don't think a pregnant woman shouldn't be eating that. it's in there"

"My last question Thomas? are you happy?

"Yes. I am happier now I think then I have been.... for a very long time."

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goineedsleep · 3 years ago

Text

Here’s your unofficial welcome to Octopath Hell

i just finished Olberics Chapter 4, and my opinion on that man still stands: he is a raging dad friend and shares custody of the Octopaths with Cyrus

here‘s a list of dumb ideas I wrote a couple nights ago

Olberic and Cyrus as exasperated parents of the other Octoprotags AU

-Cyrus adopts kids after a few years of teaching

-he gets Alfyn, Therion, and Ophilia

-Therion is the most quiet and subdued of them all, but most definitely has the sharpest wit. He loves learning about new things in the world, most of all things regarding apples

-Alfyn is a social butterfly, immediately befriending those around him, and is attached at the hip with Therion. Alfyn tends to remind him to use a scar cream a traveling apothecary gave him, and always picks an apothecaries brain if he can do so

-Ophilia was quiet at first, before coming out of her shell. She is a confident young girl. She loves going to church, where she has a large group of friends, and she tries to ensure that no one around her gets hurt

-Olberic adopts in Cobbleston, after finding his purpose to wield a blade. He’s a traveling mercenary

-he gets Primrose, Tressa and H’aanit

-Primrose is certainly the most polite of his bunch, but not nice like Ophilia is. She is a talented dancer; the top of her ballet class for that matter! She’s also completely covered a classmates hair in paint for beating her up the other weekend. The kid is fucking ruthless.

-Tressa tried selling lemonade recently. At school. For $50

-H’aanit takes no shit, and always has her kitten on a leash. It’s already half her size but Olberic is far too tired to look into it

-Cyrus and Olberic meet in Atlasdam. Cyrus got invited to another scholars retirement party the same night Olberic went drinking to celebrate a job well done

-they really hit it off

-like “Olberic starts sending letters after a couple days” hitting it off

-Cyrus and Olberic end up talking a LOT about the kids

-stop reading here if u don’t want to deal with my shippy ass

FOR REAL THO THIS IS THE SHIPPY PORTION

-It takes a while, but they do enter a relationship

-Olberic says something first while in a trip to Atlasdam, where Cyrus admits to returning these affections

-long distance relationship ensues for a year

-when they move in together they go to Cobbleston. Cyrus goes to Atlasdam monthly whilst working from home

-Olberic pops the question during one of their trips to Atlasdam

-And now they’re married

ALRIGHT THAT’S ALL THE SHIPPY CRAP I’M MENTIONING

-Alfyn is definitely the most welcoming to the new people. He makes fast friends out of just about everybody, and the other kids are no exception.

-Therion gets along with Prim only. He is a MENACE to Tressa, and he tolerates H’aanit

-Ophilia is nice to everyone. That’s all I can say

-Primrose gets along best with H’aanit. Therion and herself have a mutual understanding about crime, but she prefers hanging out with H’aanit

-Tressa gets along with all of them EXCEPT THERION

-he pranks her consistently

-And H’aanit is the wisest of them all. No enemies here

I’m gonna go ahead and be productive now

See ya later

#octopath traveler

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saedii-gilwraeth-simp · 4 years ago

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This post but I wanted to do it all with BillyxArsinoe - Part 2: electric boogaloo (REPOST BC I FINISHED IT THIS TIME)

How do they fall asleep? Wake up? Any daily rituals?

Billy always says hello to Arsinoe first when he gets home. It doesn’t matter if it’s a party and there are 50 people between Arsinoe and the front door, Billy always says hello to her before anyone else. And Arsinoe always kisses Billy’s cheek before she gets out of bed because she’s too groggy to say hello properly.

How’s their team work? Do they share well?

Wins three-legged races every time. They are masters of communication so they work together really well and tend not to step on each other’s toes. They share pretty well unless it’s blankets.

Are they open about their relationship? How do they feel about public displays of affection?

Billy and Arsinoe fucking love talking about each other to other people because they love being together. In terms of PDA, they are… very enthusiastic and it has definitely gotten them in trouble before.

First impression of each other? Was it love at first sight?

They really didn’t click when they first met and it was definitely not love at first sight. I call it the “Billy is the epitome of a privileged white man” effect

Nicknames? Pet names? Any in-jokes?

They only call each other pet names when they’re tired. And they probably have a million in-jokes that I’m not funny enough to come up with

Any tasks that are always left to one person?

Arsinoe always makes the bed bc she knows Billy likes to get into a made bed at the end of the day. Billy always washes and puts away the dishes bc the repetitive motion messes with Arsinoe’s bad shoulder

What annoys them the most about their partner? Would they change it if they could?

Billy gets upset over how far Arsinoe takes things when it come to helping/protecting her friends and family because it can get her hurt, but he wouldn’t change it bc he knows he would do the same thing. Arsinoe doesn’t like that Billy wants to protect her constantly but she wouldn’t change it bc very few people (basically Jules and Mirabella and that’s it) have ever cared about her enough to protect her

What do the like best about their partner?

Arsinoe adores how gentle but fierce Billy is and Billy loves how much joy Arsinoe brings to the lives of everyone she meets

Do they discuss big issues? Religion? Marriage? Children? Death?

They discuss it when they first start permanently living together. Neither are religious bc Arsinoe has trauma from the temple and Billy just doesn’t really care about religion. Both agreed very early on that they wanted to get married and have children. Neither wants to talk about death, they’ve had enough of that that they just want to push the conversation away.

Who drives? Cooks? Does the handiwork? Cleans? Pays the bills? Handles the public?

Billy drives, neither cook, Arsinoe does the handiwork, both clean, Billy pays the bills (bc patriarchy). Neither handle the public.

Do they celebrate holidays? Anniversaries?

They like to celebrate holidays bc it gives them a chance to get everyone together to celebrate. And they both go ham for anniversaries.

Is there a wedding? What was the proposal like? Any kind of honeymoon?

So Billy just proposes on a nondescript Sunday in summer when they’re chilling on the porch and he looks over and the sun is lighting Arsinoe up and he just knows that this is the perfect moment, so he grabs the ring he’s carried around for months out of his pocket, puts it on the table open and says “Hey babe, let’s get married” and that’s it, they’re engaged. So, the wedding is nice and the reception is rowdy but also very intimate - Billy and Arsinoe definitely cried during the vows they wrote themselves and their flower crowns were gorgeous. And for their honeymoon, they go to this really nice manor in the country and do typical honeymoon things ;) ;)

What do they do for fun? Do they have a favorite activity or do they like to switch things up?

They go on fun dates around the city - lots of horse-racing, boxing and rugby. Their favourite though is to try to find different, better places for picnics each week. It’s began to get very competitive.

Anything they both dread?

Both really don’t enjoy being separated. Which is not to say that they always have to be together or that they can’t exist without each other, but they enjoy each other’s company so long periods of separation make them sad.

How adventurous are they?

I mean, this is a couple who recreated “We’re going on a bear hunt” so they get pretty wild.

Do they keep secrets? Lie? Cheat?

They might keep secrets to surprise each other time to time, but they both value and love each other too much to even consider lying, cheating or keeping big secrets.

What would make them break up? Would it be permanent?

Nothing and if something did, it sure as fuck wouldn’t be a permanent break up.

What are their dates like? How long do/did they date? Do they ever feel the need to take a break from each other?

Their dates are pretty fun and involve food and laughing, regardless of what they do/where they go. They “dated” for like 3 years simply cause they’re both young and have all the time to get married. and they don’t really feel the need to take breaks but they do sometimes, just to feel independent.

What do they fight about? What are their arguments like? How do they make up?

They don’t really have big explosive arguments and fights because they’re good at expressing themselves. But when they do fight, they both yell and then they get really silent and then they talk it out. And then makeup sex.

What does their home look like? Their room?

The townhouse in the city - where they are normally - is mostly shades of baby blue and has the vibes of a rich 18th century family home. Their bedroom has sapphire blue walls and curtains with a four poster bed and a dresser and a wardrobe against the opposite wall. They have an ensuite with a massive bath and double vanity and a walk in robe. They also have a farmhouse and that is a lot more quaint.

Do they share any interests or hobbies?

Both enjoy looking after their chickens and the horses they own at the races but other than that they have their own hobbies.

Does their work ever interfere with the relationship?

Billy’s work requires a lot of travel that Arsinoe can’t go on sometimes, so they have to shift how their relationship works sometimes, but for the most part, it doesn’t matter how far apart they are.

How do they hug? Kiss? Tease? Flirt? Comfort?

Billy sometimes hugs Arsinoe around the shoulders and will kiss her temple, usually when he feels talking will ruin a quiet moment. Otherwise, Billy tucks Arsinoe into his chest and wraps his arms over her shoulders when hugging her. Arsinoe always puts at least one hand on Billy’s neck and Billy always puts on hand on Arsinoe’s waist/hip when they kiss. If Billy wants to tease, he holds Arsinoe’s hips and kisses her neck. Arsinoe could reveal an ankle and Billy would blush tbh. Both are terrible flirts so they don’t flirt very often. And in terms of comfort, a hand hold or a good hug is really good for them.

Any doubts about the relationship?

Nah, their solid

How much time do they spend together? Do they share their feelings, or hold things in?

They spend a lot of time together (to be clear, they definitely are comfortable to ask when they need independent time) but it’s not like they’re constantly speaking, touching, they could just be sitting in the same room and it’s comfy. And they’re the best at sharing feelings, mostly bc they’re both shit at holding things in.

How do their friends feel about their relationship? Their families?

Their friends think they’re an excellent couple. Billy’s family tries to focus more on Billy’s happiness than how unconventional Arsinoe is as a Mainlander partner

Do they have kids? Grow old together? Split up?

Billy and Arsinoe have four children, triplet boys and a girl who are agents of chaos but grow up surrounded by so much love and acceptance (unlike how their parents grew up). B*A do grow old together and are still a fucking power couple in their 90′s

What are their vacations like?

Both work quite hard day to day so when they’re on holiday they usually relax, stay in bed late or meander throughout local towns.

How do they handle disasters or emergencies? Minor injuries? Sickness?

Both are very calm, cool and collected during disasters or emergencies. Billy stresses about injuries and sickness while Arsinoe’s pretty nonchalant bc she usually knows how to fix it. However, neither like it when their kids are sick.

Could they manage a long distance relationship?

They could but they wouldn’t want to

Do they finish each other’s sentences? Pick up any phrases or habits from each other? Know when the other is hiding something?

They definitely have the ability to finish each other’s sentences. Arsinoe has picked up Billy’s habit of tapping fingers on any surface that is nearby and Billy has taken on Arsinoe’s habit of rubbing a cheek when nervous. And yes, they know when each other is hiding something but they trust that whatever is being hidden will be revealed when right.

Do they ever get into trouble? Is it serious, or are they just mischievous?

Oh boy they get in trouble so much but in the fun, saucy, “we’re a young couple in love” kinda way

What kind of presents do they get each other? Do they only do it on special occasions?

They usually will get each other something heartfelt or practical, sometimes a mix of both. They aim to stick to holiday/birthday sharing but every now and then, it’ll be a matter of “I saw this and thought of you.”

Do they have any pets?

More chickens than they know what to do with. A couple of cats that come and go and a golden retriever that their kids got but won’t reveal how, they just bought it home one day.

Do they bring out the best in each other, or the worst? Do they have a fatal flaw?

They bring out the best in each other and they’re the definition of married people who are best friends. They don’t really have fatal flaws.

What’s their greatest strength as a couple? Their weakness?

Greatest strength is how much they love each other so they create an environment that is so comforting. They’re weakness is that they’re so cute it makes people angry.

How much would they be willing to sacrifice for the other? Any lines they refuse to cross?

They wouldn’t do anything a morally sound person would consider deplorable but they would definitely sacrifice a lot for each other.

What are they like in the bedroom? Any kinks/fetishes/turn-ons? Anything they won’t do?

Look, they’re def 50/50 vanilla/kinky but in terms of specific turn ons, Arsinoe has a thing for Billy’s hands and Billy likes Arsinoe’s legs and butt (very valid takes). I also think that they would try different bedroom things at least once, for experimentation purposes.

Who initiated the relationship? Who kissed who first? When did they realize they were in love?

They both kind of initiated the r/ship and technically Arsinoe kissed Billy first. Billy realised he loved Arsinoe when she jumped in front of the bear and Arsinoe realised she loved Billy when he tried to save her from the priestesses.

Any special memories? Do they have a special place they like to go to?

Their special memories come mostly from when Arsinoe came back from Fennbirn to the Mainland, their wedding day and their kids birthdays. Their special place is on the townhouse roof bc it’s quiet and they can see the stars really well from there.

Are they party-goers? What are they like when they’re drunk? Does it happen often?

They go to the occaisional party if they like the people who will be there. Arsinoe can’t get drunk and Billy doesn’t drink bc he doesn’t like how angry and aggressive it makes him.

Do they let each other get away with things that would normally bother them?

Yes, but only to a certain extent. If it really bothers one of them, then that person will make a comment and that will prompt a change in behaviour from the offensive party.

Do they talk often? What about?

They talk all the time. Sometimes it’s dumb jokes or to check in with each other but mostly it’s just fun and boring married couple conversations.

Are the comfortable with each other? Anything they have to have their privacy for?

Billy and Arsinoe are very comfortable with each other. There’s nothing specific they require privacy for unless it’s for a surprise.

Any special dreams or goals they have as a couple? Any heartbreaks? Regrets?

I mean, they just really desperately want to have a normal “white picket fence” life with each other, marriage and kids included. They don’t have a lot of heartbreaks (simply bc at some point, the amount of trauma they’ve suffered has to stop) and they don’t have regrets because that’s not how they choose to live their lives.

#three dark crowns #one dark throne #two dark reigns #five dark fates #kendare blake #queen arsinoe #billy chatworth

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giorno-plays-piano · 5 years ago

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The Pretender Next Door Part 2 Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader Warning: Swearing. Summary: Lying is despicable, but nothing beats the humiliation of pretending you have a lovely boyfriend when, in fact, you have none. Could your handsome neighbor help you, though? Words: 2138. Part 1 _____________________________________ It went better you thought it would. Your colleagues were mostly friendly and open, your work environment seemed both interesting and challenging enough, and living in the new apartment was comfortable and pretty peaceful. Well, that man from the 5th floor was singing songs from Bridget Jones Diary on Friday mornings really loudly, but you were an early bird, so you didn’t care, truly. You hadn’t seen Steve much, though it was more an advantage rather than not. He wasn’t bringing any girls into his apartment, and it really bothered you. Worse, he wasn’t bringing any boys either. Your last hope was that Steve belonged to some kind of swingers club or something and had orgies in a different place.

Swingers club? Damn, girl. This man was making you crazy.

You did your best to forget about that perfection of a man living next door. You needed to build your life from scratch in this mad city of New York, and having relationships now was not on your list. In fact, it had never been.

One busy month had already passed when you got a chance to talk to Steve again. You were stepping inside the elevator, tired after work. Next week you were organizing a big holiday party for employees, and things were going more and more stressful with each day. It turned out that way more people had allergies they didn’t state previously, most of them new employees like you, and you had to adjust the menu; then that band your VP of Marketing wanted to have suddenly asked more money than you discussed before, and…

Well, event planning was always like that. Why complaining now when you spend all those years in college and then decided to move to NY? It was predictable. What was unpredictable was you lying to your married colleagues that you had a boyfriend. Why on Earth did you say that? Yes, it was a bit embarrassing to be the only woman who wasn’t in a relationship, but did you ultimately have to lie about it? It was so stupid and childish. Surely, there were more than one single woman in New York.

Anyway, you had a bottle of white wine and Netflix movies waiting for you at home. You would deal with everything else later, including your imaginary boyfriend.

“Wait, please!”

You snapped out of your thoughts and immediately pressed a button to leave the doors open, and the next second Steve almost flew inside the elevator. Oh, was he just in front of you and you hadn’t seen him again? Seriously, you needed to put yourself together.

“Hello.” You smiled a bit shyly and pressed another button to get the elevator moving.

He looked as handsome as always in his dark blue jacket and… oh God, he could wear nothing at all and still looked like a prince. No clothes at all would be far more preferable…

“Hello.” His glowing smile made it hard to keep your eyes off his face.

Nonono, just stop staring and keep your eyes down. You had enough things on your plate already, there was no place left for a giant sun named Steve Rogers who would indeed burn you to ashes the same second you decide to come closer.

“So, are we going the same floor?” He suddenly asked. Wait, did he forget you literally lived next door?

“Um, yes.”

Steve scratched the back of his head; for a few seconds he seemed lost in thought. You decided to drop it. Maybe he had a bad memory or something.

“Oh, I get it, you probably visiting my new neighbor.” He just grinned through those perfectly white teeth.

What? Did he already forget he spent at least half an hour in your hallway repairing your bookshelf? Just how bad was his memory if he didn’t recognize your face, for God’s sake? Well, anyway, if you wanted him to have a flaw, you had to be happy he got one. Better than being a secret swinger, wasn’t it?

“Actually, I am your new neighbor.” You let out an awkward laugh and stared at your pretty kitten heels shoes you bought before leaving Key West. Why were you upset? You just thought about not getting into relationship with anyone. Besides, you doubted you had a chance to date Steve Rogers even if New York’s female population would be five times smaller its actual size.

Lost in your thoughts again, you missed his immediate change of expression, his face completely red with embarrassment and shame.

“God, I’m an idiot with a fish’s memory span.” He groaned and looked somewhere up, shutting his eyes for a few seconds. “I’m so sorry! I mean, of course I remember you, Y/N, it just, ugh, you know… you just look a bit different and… Jesus Christ, I’m gonna say something stupid again, aren’t I?.. Just, ugh, sorry.”

With the guilt all over his pretty face he reminded you of a puppy who ate someone’s shoe, and you chuckled. It wasn’t as bad as you though, he still remembered your name. It was true you were different comparing to the day he met you – you were wearing way more makeup, including bright lipstick, to look older for your colleagues who were in their 40s and 50s. You also had a nice New Look black dress, and your hair were curled. Although you did not expect to look so different to others, maybe Steve simply didn’t take a closer look at your face that time?

And you could still take it as his flaw. Not bad enough, but still something!

“Don’t worry, you only saw me two times in your life.” You laughed it off and stepped out of the elevator once the doors were open. “Now if you see here a grumpy old woman with Ikea bags please remember the way I looked today.”

Steve followed you into a narrow corridor and burst out laughing, his face slowly losing its funny redness. You suspected he still felt kind of guilty, but he tried to keep it cool when you bid him goodbye and entered your apartment.

Thinking of any other possible flaws he might have, you took off your shoes and threw you bag on the comfy grey sofa in the middle of the room. You were finally home. Now you could change into your favorite blue pyjamas and fluffy slippers, take off your makeup and have some good time watching your favorite romcoms. Although you didn’t have anything for dinner, you could easily order something like a nice pizza or lasagna from that family-owned pizzeria around the corner.

The next hour you spent in a tub, washing away your worries. One was still there though: what were you supposed to do with your imaginary boyfriend? Your biggest issue was that your colleagues asked you to bring him to the party. Of course, they thought it was a nice gesture since they often brought their own husbands and boyfriends, but now they just made your life way more difficult. Even if you could say your boyfriend got sick or something at the day of the event, what then? Thankfully, no one demanded to see your photos yet, but they could. And they might ask you to bring him to dinners they had altogether sometimes, and God knows what else.

You were stupid enough to make up some super romantic story about a perfect guy any girl would like to date. It was embarrassing to think of it now, but you definitely got affected by the marriage stories of your colleagues who spent the whole lunch hour talking about their lovely husbands. Your problem was you tried to fit in too much.

Well, you probably had to come up with something about breaking up once you moved to NY. Funny, because your “boyfriend” was living here and waiting for you for a year to come over and transform your long-distance relationships into something bigger. Hell, you even said you might marry him. Why were you so careless? Why did your colleagues’ opinions matter so much?

You sighed, putting on an old black hoodie. You were hopeless.

Then you heard the doorbell rang and frowned. You were not expecting anyone since you didn’t order your pizza yet.

You hurried to the door in your slippers and put your hair into a ponytail on the way. It was around 8 pm. Who could it be? Did someone just mistake your apartment for someone’s else? You knew your aunt wasn’t coming without telling you first, and no one else knew where you moved to.

But you opened the door, and you found glowing Steve there with a plate in his hands. You were so stunned you just kept standing there until you heard him snicker. Wait, what? Steve? Did he need to borrow anything? Why was he here?

“H-hi Steve. Please, come in.” You stepped back awkwardly to let him go inside and saw him smiling even wider once he spotted your fluffy blue slippers. Could it get even more humiliating than that?

“Hi there. I’ve actually come to apologize properly for the… well, you know.” He almost looked like he was blushing a bit. “And I brought you a lemon pie. Although I baked it myself, I swear it’s not poisonous!”

Great, your absolutely perfect blue-eyed neighbor with blond hair and a winning smile was so nice he brought you a homemade pie. Girl, you were losing it. Maybe he was a serial killer instead of a swinger? It would make sense, indeed. Maybe it wasn’t wise touching this pie? Damn, you hoped he tried to kill you instead of just being nice, because Steve was clearly out of this world.

“I mean… not like baked it the way my mother did… more like googling an easy recipe online and putting everything I found into an instant pot…”

You were ready to slap yourself when you saw Steve fidgeting nervously in the hallway. You had to keep your lovely neighbor out of your mind.

“Thank you so much.” Taking the plate from his huge warm hands you felt your body temperature rising. “But you didn’t have to do that. There’s nothing to be sorry about!”

“No, I was being stupid and…”

“Well, whatever. Just come here and share this pie with me so I can check if it’s poisonous or not.” You tried your best to make a joke out of it and laughed, nodding towards the kitchen. “I can make either tea or coffee. What would you prefer? Um, if you’d like to stay, of course.”

“Only if you don’t mind the guy who couldn’t recognise his own neighbor.”

You spent the next hour chatting about anything and everything. Even though you had never been talkative with people you barely knew, Steve had seemed so trustworthy and friendly you were not able to stop. He talked a lot too, telling you more about himself, claiming he was “just a kid from Brooklyn.” He didn’t finish his university degree because of some financial issues and was now working in an auto repair shop. He still wanted to return to engineering, though, but the only jobs he was offered were some unpaid internships and things like that. And he also played guitar. And he had just finished renovating his own apartment.

The only flaw you found was his issue with keeping the rooms clean as he was overly impressed with your place and how tidy it was. Well, it was something.

Then you had somehow told him about your work, new company, colleagues, the event, and… and that imaginary boyfriend of yours. When you realized you complained about your silly lies, it was already late. Steve was biting his lips not to laugh. Oh, great. Now he was thinking how pitiful you were, pretending to have someone in order to gain some respect from your new coworkers. What kind of girl would say these things to a man like him? You were clearly out of your mind. The only good thing about it was that Steve would probably walk out of your apartment and never come back again.

“Please don’t think I’m laughing at you. It’s… a bit funny, I mean, that you think there’s nothing you could do with your issue.” He grinned at you, almost pouting like a little baby. “Think of it, you just need to ask some guy you know to pretend he’s your boyfriend. Ask him to come with you to this holiday event, and then some time later you can say you broke up with him.”

For a minute you fell silent, staring at the guy in front of you with wide eyes.

“Wait, but I don’t know anyone here. I can’t merely go to anyone on the street and ask him to do this for me, right?”

“Well, for starters, you know me.”

#steve rogers x reader #steve rogers #steve x reader #romcom au #captain america

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sacredmouche · 4 years ago

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Crazy in Love | Oikawa Tooru x Reader

Word count: 1.2k

Genre: fluff

Warnings: none

Originally made this for my best friend, but since it was Oikawa's birthday yesterday I'll post this. I forgot to post this on his bday pls forgive me mr. Argentina.

edit: oh god I'm so sorry I literally just copy-pasted this from Word and forgot to edit this T__T I edited it just now. Forgive a dumbass.

“I’m gonna do it” you eyed your friends with such determination, your phone in your hand, however, your friends are giving you a very disappointed look, some of them with terrified expression.

“Look, just do it, if it’s some 50-year-old murderer, then you’re on your own” Kenma massaged his temples, disappointed. He’s been trying to stop you from doing what you are about to do, but you are such a tenacious brat. “Let’s go, Kuroo” he pulled the black-haired captain.

Yaku on the other side is pushing you to do it, “Yes Yaku, I will definitely do it!” you squealed and pressed the send button.

xxx-xxx-xxxx

Your love got me feeling so crazy right now ;)

“Oh my God, Kenma, Kuroo! She really did it!” Taketora exclaimed, drawing attention from the faux blond and the emo boy. Kenma let out a sigh, Kuroo pulled his hair in frustration. You really are a pain in the ass. Everyone blamed Yaku because he fueled you on doing so this ‘dangerous’ thing according to some of your friends.

One and all in the clubroom was quarreling, well not until your phone shut them up. Hearing your handphone dinged caught their attention and stopped them from their argument that is undeniably caused by none other than, Y/N. A troublemaker is what Kuroo defines you.

Everybody gathered behind you, curiosity-filled eyes gaze upon your phone anticipating the response from the stranger you just texted. “Ooh open it already!” Yaku is by now very excited that he almost took your phone from your hand, but because of your feline like instincts you swiftly whipped your arms away from him and give him a sharp glare.

You opened the unread message from the stranger who might be a 50-year-old pedophile. Everyone laughed when the messaged was revealed, you on the other hand, was far from being amused. The sender just roasted you. The emotionless Kenma laughed too, the silent Fukunaga is currently on the floor, holding onto his dear life and gasping for air.

You walked out of the clubroom with annoyance. You are not looking for someone with bad blood relationship. You just want something like internet friends. Something like a pen pal, so you opt to text some random number in hoping to get what you want. Friends outside the Nekoma team.

You left the sender on read unintentionally, realizing it when he texted you again. They apologized for what they have said earlier, saying that he is now a nice person compare to the person he was not too long ago. It made your heart float. Aww how cute.

And that is how your friendship with the captain started. On the other hand, the brunette’s been flirting with you for the past two years of your friendship. You are now a college freshman; he is a sophomore and still trying to get to you despite the enormous distance between the two of you. Tokyo and Miyagi are quite far.

Your naïve self is what keeping you from realizing he’s making his move to you and for Oikawa, it is really frustrating as fuck. You are more naïve than the Shiratorizawa captain.

“Eh? Really?” You squealed over the phone when he told you the news that he is going to Tokyo tomorrow. On the other side of the phone, Oikawa cannot contain his smile. Hearing you get excited over him, god you make his heart skip a beat.

He nodded as if you can see him right now, “yes darling, ugh the things I do for you, you have to marry me” he half-jokingly said, earning a laugh from you. You are being naïve again. When will you realize?

The call ended yet his heart is still beating fast, his mind is clouded with the thought of you. That night he couldn’t fall asleep, thinking what he would do tomorrow and for the following day to make you realize that he wants you to be his.

This is not your first-time meeting Oikawa, just like him you couldn’t fall asleep. Too excited to see him. Too excited to hug him. Too excited to touch him. Too excited to kiss him– wait, what? You shook your head to the thought and silently laugh it out. Why did I ever think of kissing him? Weird.

Waking up to the ray of sun hitting your face, you joyfully danced to the music you are humming while readying yourself. Oikawa is on the way to Tokyo and you can’t help yourself but to feel beyond happy and excited. You are too jolly that everyone in your household is weirded out by you.

You are just so happy that you even greet your dog’s food tray and the car on your garage.

Let’s meet at the nearest WcDonald’s.

Tooru’s voice is echoing on your mind and when you got there, you saw him he’s already there. Handsome as ever.

“Hey, my love! Looking good,” he called out, offering his hand but you swat it “fuck off, Tooru. Don’t act like we’re together” you laughed, failing to see his pained reaction.

This unplanned meet up went on smoothly. You went to the arcade, to a karaoke hub, to the ocean park, and to every place you can think of. Both of you are currently lining up to a cinema, he’s been staring at you for a while now. Admiring the beauty of the girl he is with. The girl who fails to notice his love for her.

You turned to him; his eyes widened. You asked if there is something wrong and said it was nothing, but for you there is. It worries you because Oikawa seemed to act weird today and you cannot easily shrug it off, so you decided to tell him later when the movie ends.

Did she finally realize? Oh, she would never.

You can never unless he says it directly, that is how naïve you are.

At long last, you are now in the counter finally picking the movie to watch and your seat. Upon entering the cinema, the coldness sends shiver to your spine, wiggling your body as soon as you sat down. The guy noticed and removed his jacket for you to wear it, you apologized and tried to refuse but he insisted so you ended up wearing his jacket that is too big for you.

Seeing you wearing his clothes is such a turn on for him, mentally cursing his hormones.

It’s been thirty minutes since the movie started and his hands are just too awkward, not knowing whether to hold yours or just put it on the arm rest. He doesn’t know. Should he put it on your head and play with your hair? Should he just rest it on his lap? He groaned, making you jump slightly. You asked him if he’s okay and he nodded, telling you not to mind him. You did and just focus on the movie.

Oikawa thought of a very cliché move that he will probably regret for the rest of his life.

“I didn’t know this movie is so boring,” he whispered and fake a yawn “it’s making me sleepy” he continued and raised his arms as if he was stretching and about to rest it on your shoulders. You gaze at him, his brows raised.

“Are you flirting with me?”

His eyes widened; pupils blown. He smiled.

“Oh, you finally noticed?”

Finally.

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq #hq x reader #sports anime #haikyuu!!#anime #fluff #oikawa #oikawa tooru #oikawa x reader #oikawa tooru x reader

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general-mahamatra · 5 years ago

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ahh im so glad!!! thank you for your answer! to expand on the protective hcs, how do u think each of the wolves show their protective side?? like, what kind of things would they all do for eachother? ALSO (i hope this isnt too much fknhknh) but sexuality hcs and maybe family hcs too? like the kind of families they have outside of pack and how it effects how they get along with their wolfy fam

Of course! I love the anons I've been getting and yours blessed my night so much! I really wanna give you a name so I can refer to you if you ever come back 👉🏻👈🏻

Maybe,,,, maybe timber anon,,, cmere timber anon I fucking love you so much

(damn this became long)

But protective sides!

Jack: Jack is the kind to do anything to protect his pack, even if it means going behind their backs to work with the order. His idea of protecting them is taking important tasks on his own and electing explicit help from specific Order members when necessary. He doesn't want his packmates to get hurt in some way so when it's life or death and only one person needs to get hurt or die? That'll be Jack. He will do anything to make sure his new family is safe, even if it means putting his life on the line.

He tends to ignore their please to help him, often shutting them out to do it all himself. He rarely tells them the entirety of his plans, even when they're as a group. He'll always give the instructions of grouping the other wolves together but he always scopes around on his own. Never, NEVER does he let someone accompany him. If someone is gonna get hurt, it will only be him.

Hamish: he's very protective, that's definitely known. Just not in terms of he'll go out and kill someone for it just because they're a threat. He's much more of a talking kinda guy. Pep talks, stern conversations, that sorta thing. He's much more likely to see how far he can get with his words before he moves on with anything else, but he's prone to get angry. While he isn't physical, his tone gets harsh and he'll do everything considered to be rage except for scream. When he's angry, he talks fast and sharp. His words will jumble together and he will get up close and personal, but never hit.

His protectiveness is more within the pack than taking out threats. He's one to give them a dose of reality and tell them what's up.

Randall: his idea of protection is using common sense. He will always point out when something is a terrible idea and makes a stand. He refuses to be swayed from his position and even if he loses a game of beer pong and is forced to agree, his mind is never changed. He will ways express his worries. "The Order is our ENEMY", "they tried to kill us a couple months ago!", "they literally stole our memory to control us", "this is a FUCKING DEMON HOW DUMB ARE YOU GUYS??"

Although the pack tends to make him a pushover, he will never shut up. In fact, being shoved to the side in big important missions is what makes Randall louder. He WILL be heard and he WILL make sure of it. And even if someone says his idea is bad, he will stew. He will sit and broil over until he figures out how to get his idea and pull it off. Even if it means risking his own hide to kill someone to complete a ritual.

Lilith: oh yes, Lilith. The girl named after the mother of all demons. You know her idea of protection is vicious. She is the one who will openly go to slit someone's throat for so much as looking at one of her packmates wrong. And she is snarly. She will growl and snap at whoever gets too close and will gladly punch someone for saying something wrong.

Her idea of protection is genuine killing. She is open about how vicious she is and uses it to her advantage to keep her pack safe. She refused to let anyone lay a harmful finger on her family.

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Sexualities!

These are my personal views on these characters from watching the show! I'm completely open to all other interpretations!

Jack: straight! He may have dabbled a bit with men but in the end, he came out preferring girls.

Hamish: he doesn't label himself. To the outside view he is bisexual but if you ask him, he will say he likes whoever. Labels just aren't for him.

Randall: bisexual! And he is VERY open about it. He is a genuine 50/50 with boys and girls and will openly admire them all. He's also definitely the most queer and accepting given how casual he is with cross dressing and how affectionate he has been with both Hamish and Lilith separately.

Lilith: bisexual leaning girls! She has expressed interest in boys (as seen with Randall) but in the end definitely prefers girls. She may end up being lesbian later on but for now, she still has minor interests in boys from time to time!

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Their families outside of the pack

Jack: we already know about his family. With basically all of them gone, Jack is left alone in the world with only his friends. Its why he's so protective of them. He's already lost his blood, he doesn't want to lose his found family.

Hamish: he isn't that open about his family but he has mentioned them. Given how we don't know how old he is, it's difficult to determine a lot about him. From my basic guess, he's in his late twenties given his parents are both still alive and how close he is with the pack despite being the senior member.

He is DEFINITELY a trust fund baby, but he's good with it. He's spoiled with money (probably from his mom marrying a sugar daddy or something--which could allude to why he's "hot for teach") and resources. But, given how he's genuinely mature and seen to live within the den, it's safe to assume his family taught him how to properly use his money. They seem like they have a good relationship.

He's definitely an only child and it's very much why he seems so much more mature. He grew up on his own and after years of learning how to deal with people, he is able to properly deal with the pack and assert himself properly while still being open and genuine. He never takes full control.

Randall: he has brothers for sure, it's why he's so athletic. He comes from a family centered around sports and football and every Superbowl they would send the boys out to play with the rest of the family at their parties. Its what got Randall so into working out and sports. Of course there were fights, but he got along with them pretty well since they were all close in age. Obviously, he was the youngest but shh, only by a year.

Its why he's so energetic and playful with all the pack. He's boisterous and loves to harass the others, especially Hamish with the nicknames. To be fair, though, he nicknames EVERYONE. Jack is only ever Jacky Boy in his mind.

Lilith: she isn't too close to her family. She isn't open about them at all and never mentions them to anyone else. Most of her times over the holidays are spent on campus with either the pack or some of her friends from other classes. Its not entirely known why she doesn't like her family, but it's suspected it may have had to do with her feisty attitude and tendency to lash out at those close to her.

It's possible she had a sister and was known to be close with her despite a bunch of arguments. They were probably the reason Lilith ended up splitting away from her family.

Its why she tries so hard to stay close with the pack while also keeping them at a distance. She doesn't want a repeat of what happened with her sister; she can't lose another family.

#the order #heelys gang #the order headcanons #the order hcs #hamish duke #lilith bathory #randall carpio #jack morton #hamish the order #lilith the order #randall the order #jack the order

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writingquestionsanswered · 5 years ago

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Hey there! First of all, I just want to say a million thank yous for helping me out with writing :) you're a blessing! Now here's my question, how do I write a slow burn romance without dragging on the story for too long? I don't want my characters to quickly fall in love within the first few chapters, but I also don't want to write 50+ chapters just to show that they're in a slow burn relationship. I think you've covered this before, so sorry if you need to answer this again :(

Guide: Writing a Slow Burn Romance

I actually have covered this before but this is a good opportunity for a guide on this subject, which I don’t presently have. So here we go! :)

What is a “Slow Burn” Romance?

A “slow burn” romance is one that takes longer to develop than the typical period of several weeks or a couple months. Slow burn relationships can take several months or even years to develop thanks to obstacles that prevent the romance from progressing. Unlike typical romances, which often begin with an open romantic interest, slow burn couples generally start out as acquaintances or friends, usually in situations that aren’t romance-friendly, such as being roommates, co-workers, or in other relationships.

In television, slow burn couples are called “will they/won’t they” relationships, because the romance develops over multiple seasons leaving fans to wonder if and when they’ll ever get together, and when they finally do it’s a really big deal. Think Jim and Pam in The Office, Ross and Rachel in Friends, Niles and Daphne in Frasier, Jane and Rafael in Jane the Virgin, Nick and Jess in New Girl, FitzSimmons in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., and Jake and Amy in Brooklyn Nine-Nine, just to name a few.

How Does a “Slow Burn” Romance Develop?

As with any romance, slow burn can start out with no romantic interest, one-sided romantic interest, or dual romantic interest, but unlike a typical romance, in slow burn that romantic interest isn’t pursued. This is due to whatever situation makes the romantic interest inappropriate, inconvenient, or otherwise undesirable at that time. Instead, the relationship develops as a friendship and all interactions appear to be platonic on the surface, but on the inside they’re slowly falling in love.

When the two characters inhabit the same space, you can do a lot with just the eyes:

- stolen glances- sharing a knowing look- their eyes meet and then they both look away bashfully- lingering looks- communicating feelings through the eyes (worry, pain, hurt, pride, affection)

When they physically interact, you can add in things like:

- accidentally touching- intentional but tentative touching- touching in non-intimate ways that feel intimate when touch is restricted- open, affectionate touching- flirting disguised as platonic playfulnessWhen the characters aren’t together, you can do a lot with the mind:

- thinking fondly of the other person- recalling fond memories- worrying about the other person- daydreaming about the future- analyzing a previous interaction- dreaming about the person- remembering moments containing looking/touching moments

The astute observer (whether that’s readers, viewers, or even other characters) should see clues that there are deeper feelings at play, and those subtle hints are the driving force of the slow burn relationship. They’re what make us root for things to work out, but the key is that there are continued obstacles that hamper romantic development, drawing out out over several months or even years.

How the Obstacles Create the “Slow Burn”

Initially, the obstacle keeping romance at bay will probably be situational. In other words, something about the situation of one or both characters makes pursuing a romance undesirable or impossible, so they maintain a friendship instead. But over time, that situation may change or their mutual attraction may transcend the situation, and that’s when you’ll start looking for other obstacles.

(Spoilers for The Office…) Jim and Pam are one of my favorite examples of a slow burn romance. They were co-workers and work friends who bonded over tormenting an annoying co-worker. Thinly veiled flirting, lingering looks, and bashful interactions made it clear there was “something there,” but Pam was engaged to Roy from the warehouse and had been for years. The fact that they had no wedding date set was the viewer’s first clue that all was not well in Pam’s relationship, and Roy’s constant mistreatment of Pam–and Jim’s subsequent frustration over her treatment–provided some good conflict and tension. When Pam and Roy finally set a date for their wedding, that solidified that obstacle further, which resulted in Jim transferring to a new branch in another town. Despite this new obstacle, Pam ends her engagement to Roy anyway, and as luck would have it, Jim’s new branch was closing and he was being transferred back. In a normal romance, that would be the end of it. With no further obstacles, they could finally be together, The End. But this is a slow burn romance, so things aren’t that easy. When Jim returns, he has a girlfriend, and she’s transferred with him. Not only does this relationship provide a new obstacle, but it creates further conflict and tension as Pam has to deal with working and being friends with her romantic rival, and Jim has to live with the reality that he’s still in love with Pam. Then, when Pam decides to get back together with Roy, it sets off a whole new line of conflict and tension. It doesn’t help that Jim is also being considered for a promotion to corporate, which creates yet another obstacle for any romantic development between him and Pam.As time goes on, Pam breaks up with Roy again, Jim breaks up with his girlfriend and takes his name out of consideration for the promotion to corporate, and finally they’re able to start dating… but, once again, this is a slow burn romance so it just can’t be that easy. After they date for a little while, Jim’s planned proposal is upstaged by another co-worker’s proposal (to yet another co-worker), and they ultimately decide to wait to get married so Pam can move to New York for a few months to study graphic design, and this distance becomes one last obstacle before they’re finally together once and for all. But, as in any relationship, there are still obstacles to be overcome.

Drawing it Out without Dragging it Out

“…but I also don’t want to write 50+ chapters just to show that they’re in a slow burn relationship.”

While you certainly don’t have to draw a slow burn relationship out over anything like fifty chapters, you also can’t make it slow burn unless you “show the math,” so to speak. You can’t just say it’s slow burn, you have to show it, and that’s going to take time… you’ll have to draw it out, and in a novel with a slow burn romance, that typically means they don’t get together until the last quarter/final act.

So, how do you draw it out without dragging it out? Well, for starters, there needs to be something else going on in the story. Slow burn romances work best in a story with a non-romantic primary plot or a strong non-romantic subplot. In other words, what else is this story about? Are your characters fighting in a dystopian rebellion? Are they researchers trying to survive on a dangerous island after a shipwreck? Are they trying to survive a clan war while trying to get your protagonist back through the portal he fell through from the twenty-first century? If your story can be about something else in addition to the slow burn romance, you don’t have to worry about boring your reader because there’s so much other stuff going on.

And remember, slow burn is as much about time and quality as it is about page count. In other words, if you have a novel that takes place over three years, but you want your characters to be together by the middle (two years into the story), that’s fine. What matters is that we see as much of the development as possible. It doesn’t have to literally take your entire book to unfold. :)

————————————————————————————————-Have a question? My inbox is always open, but make sure to check through my FAQ and post master lists first to see if I’ve already answered a similar question. :)

#writing tips #writing help #writing advice #wqaadvice #wqaguide

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angelsonthesideline · 4 years ago

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Tales from the Ex-Crypts Vol. 6

When I met the man who would waste my 20's, I was freshly moved out of my abusive/addict home and I will always feel that contributed to me being able to be sucked into his narcissistic web of manipulation, gaslighting, and abuse. The distance between us also made it very easy for him to do/get away with whatever he wanted...

The first 4 years of our "relationship" was very on and off.. he was massively hung up on his ex and she was constantly popping in to make sure she could still just wrap him back around her little finger. He would just disappear during those times, and then call me when she would fuck off again. I don't know why I went back, except he had some kind of hold over me, perhaps it was the comfortable/known factor. In those 'off' times are when I dated others.

So much happens in the span of so many years.. and crazy enough.. there aren't that many "stand out" moments, because the abuse was so normal..

He was very controlling, and expected me to call if I said I'd be home around a certain time. I remember one day, while living in the city and using transit, that I said I'd be home around a certain time. It was literally 4 minutes after the time I said, and he called me demanding where I was because I said I'd be home by then. I was walking across the street from the bus stop to my apartment building.

He was also very jealous/possessive, but as a girl who has almost always been "one of the guys", I have a lot of male friends. He was not super jealous of my friends, but he would get insanely jealous of men online (we gamed together, he got me into PC gaming, and WoW especially). I was not allowed to hang out with/make friends with/talk to other men in game. I still made some amazing friends (who are still friends now). He was also fond of shaming/embarrassing/belittling me in front of others, or showing his ownership or whatever. He would openly treat me like shit, but if anyone else ever said anything even slightly negative or criticizing about me, he would rip them to shreds. One girl in his guild, after witnessing his treatment of me over Ventrillo (a voice program many gamers used back in the day, now it's mainly Discord) and who stupidly had a crush on him, decided to rip on me to him. I'm guessing she read him wrong and thought his treatment of me was because he wasn't happy with me, or didn't love me. He destroyed her so badly, she quit the guild and left the server. He was the asshole that women flocked to and fawned over, and I couldn't even say I was any fucking different. That "bad boy" aura sucked many in.

He was jealous/possessive because he was always cheating on me, with the distance, he was easily able to. The stupid thing was, that he'd brag about it to our guildmates while I was at work/offline. Probably part of why he didn't want me making friends within the guild as well. I don't think he realized this is what made a lot of those who became friends to reach out to me. They were being kind to the kicked puppy.

Most of the shit treatment happened in the last 4.5 years of our relationship, without the "off" times of the first 4 years. But most of the really great times we had together happened during that time too. He could be amazing and sweet and funny... and even with distance, we did spend 4-6 hours talking/hanging out daily.. more than most of my friends who got to see their boyfriends regularly.

The final straw for me, after all of the years of distance, and not moving to the next level with excuse after excuse, was that my sister was getting married and he refused to come to the wedding with me. I was just done at that point, and ended things.

He lost his mind, I don't think he ever expected me to leave, but I just needed to get to a point where I loved myself more than I loved him. The one benefit of the long distance relationship was that my life really didn't change after the relationship ended, minus the hole left where he used to fill my time/thoughts.

Unfortunately, his father passed away within days of my ending things. It was sudden, a heart attack during a blizzard that prevented the ambulance from getting to him in time. He was only in his 50's. My ex was devastated, understandably. He called me 30+ times and I thought he was just being a rage monster so didn't answer. I finally listened to my voicemail(s) and he was bawling in them. This is a man I knew never cried, so I immediately called him. His mother answered, she was at his place to try to comfort him, and he was a mess when he got on the phone. He wanted us to get back together because of his loss. I am sure that the double whammy of our break up and the loss of his father within days of each other was overwhelming, but I told him it was the wrong reason to get back together. I also told him I would be there however he needed as a friend, but he insisted it was the perfect reason to get back together. I told him it wouldn't fix any of the reasons we broke up, and without those things addressed, then there was no reason to get back together and have it work. He hung up on me, because I didn't give him what he wanted and he was hurting. I never blamed him, but stuck to my requirements. I told him over and over that if he wanted me back, he would make his actions meet his words, and drive to my place, knock on my door and sit down and talk like two fucking adults and sort our shit out. That was the ONLY way I would consider getting back together. He never did.

We tried to be friends after the break up, it took us 3 years to achieve it. For the first three years, he would rage whenever it became clear he had zero control over me and not talk to me for weeks/months and then come back.

We then had a great friendship for years after he finally got past that (and got a new gf). We no longer have that friendship though, as he is absolutely insane. He is obsessed with sending voice messages instead of typing/texting. Over the years he had gotten me to get numerous different apps to do so. I deleted most of them because they didn't detect my soft voice so I couldn't respond and it was useless. I have an iphone, he had an iphone, he could send me voice messages that way, but would have to wait for responses until I had time to listen to them (usually after I got home from work) and then would get miserable that I wouldn't respond right away, even though we were just friends at this point.

The last app he asked me to get was Telegram. I hate this app, it is not user friendly and it didn't work well for my non-neurotypical brain to function with. I deleted it almost immediately, told him it made me want to punch babies. He lost his mind over me not liking an app, to the point you'd think it was HIS app that he created. Fast-forward to about a year and a half ago. I had forgotten about the stupid app, started talking to some guy on a dating app who asked if I had it, I said no, they asked me to get it so I did... and then immediately remembered it was the app I hated as soon as I opened it. My ex noticed in the 30 minutes max that I had it installed and messaged me, I responded and said "I'm deleting it again, don't get used to me using it" and deleted it.

He left me 4 raging voice messages on iMsg that were each over 3 minutes long about how I was such an absolutely horrible human (I listened to the first 20-30 seconds of the first message and then deleted the message thread) because of an APP. I was the crazy one because I didn't like an app, and somehow that made me a bad human?? Yeah... sure buddy.. pretty sure it's not normal to get that mad over someone not liking an app (especially when I had deleted many over the years). No idea why he is so obsessed and in love with that app, but we have since deleted every contact with each other and have not spoken since December 2019.

#talesfromtheexcrypts #vol 6 #8.5 years of bullshit #why was I so young and stupid #ugh #can't get time back #dodged a bullet #even if I thought he was *the one*#oh well #life goes on #and this is why I will never settle #can't believe I almost ended up with someone like this forever #and thought it was love

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