#But the day they'll do we are all gonna collectively lose it

[for28seconds]

Just Max and Charles being on each other's insta this year.

Baku Austria

Austin Las Vegas

[ohisms]

✱˚｡⋆ ↪ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑 . ( a collection of lyric prompts based on billy joel's 1977 album the stranger . adjust phrasing as necessary . )

working too hard can give you a heart attack .

we all fall in love , but we disregard the danger .

for just this once i hope that looks don't deceive .

the sinners are much more fun .

get it right the first time .

i know that everybody has a dream .

i'm not much good at conversation .

yeah , i might get up the nerve .

all that i could give you was a reputation .

i search everywhere for some new inspiration .

i don't believe in first impressions .

i want you just the way you are .

this is my dream ; just to be at home , alone with you .

just let me pull myself together .

you didn't count on me when you were counting your rosary .

though you can see when you're wrong , you can't always see when you're right .

gonna have to make the first time last .

a word from you can bring a better day .

they say there's a heaven for those who will wait .

i can't afford to let it pass .

what purpose would that serve ?

i never was much good at coming on real strong .

i don't have time for true confessions .

if all it takes is inspiration , i might have just what it takes .

you might've heard i run with a dangerous crowd .

i don't know how to say those first few words .

you've done it . why can't someone else ?

you'd better cool it off before you burn it out .

i've gotta give it one good try .

i suppose it's now or never .

you can't be everything you wanna be before your time .

it all depends upon your appetite .

only the good die young .

come out , [ name ] , don't let me wait .

dream on , but don't imagine they'll all come true .

don't you know that only fools are satisfied ?

they didn't give you quite enough information .

it's always the same in the end .

they never tell you the price that you'll pay for the things you've done .

things are okay with me these days .

i'd rather laugh with the sinners than cry with the saints .

we ain't too pretty , we ain't too proud .

we might be laughing a bit too loud , but that never hurt anyone .

slow down , you're doing fine .

take the phone off the hook and disappear for awhile .

i didn't know you could look so nice after so much time .

sooner or later , it comes down to fate .

i took the good times , i'll take the bad times .

you've got so much to do , and only so many hours in the day .

if you're so smart , why are you so afraid ?

don't change the color of your hair .

it's alright , you can afford to lose a day or two .

you're so ahead of yourself that you forgot what you need .

i just want someone i can talk to .

don't go changing to try and please me .

is that all you get for your money ?

i couldn't love you any better .

we never knew we could want more than that out of life .

you can never go back there again .

don't be afraid to try again , everyone goes south now and then .

it seems such a waste of time .

you've never let me down before .

though we share so many secrets , there are some we'll never tell .

good luck moving up , cause i'm moving out .

i'll meet you any time you want .

you should know by now , you've been there yourself .

once i used to believe i was such a great romancer .

what will it take 'til you believe in me the way that I believe in you ?

you always have my unspoken passion , though i might not seem to care .

i would not leave you in times of trouble .

i don't want clever conversation , i never want to work that hard .

though you drown in good intentions , you'll never quench the fire .

did you ever let your lover see the stranger in yourself ?

we all have a face that we hide away forever . we take them out and show ourselves when everyone is gone .

[thedeviltohisangel]

John naming his baby Gale 😭😭

Okay but imagine if now Gale had a son that he DIDN’T name John… man is gonna be asking Cass to borrow one of those bullets 😂

yes john is going to be severely butthurt if a john cleven does not one day exist. and honestly cass' collection of bullets probably means so much to him so gale would be honored to have one take him out.

but what about buck learning there is a gale egan?

tw: descriptions of child birth

"What do you mean complications?" That was the only word he had heard when he had asked the nurse for his wife. The unbridled joy of seeing his daughter in the nursery, the innate desire to share in this moment with Cass, was shattered as soon as he heard the word complication. There had been complications. Complications that presented her from joining him. Only then did he notice the blood on her scrubs. "Where is my wife?"

"Mr. Egan-" His jaw ticked once, threatening to break under the pressure.

"Where. Is. My. Wife." No longer a question. An order. All she said again was his name but he didn't heed the warning. He followed his gut, the tether that linked their souls together, the gleaming of her north star, and directed himself down the hall. He was vaguely aware of the nurse yelling for him to stop. Her threats to call security. Buck trying to reason with them.

But then he found her.

"Please, my husband, please. I want John, please." Cass was whimpering as immeasurable pain radiated throughout her body. "Where's my baby?" She tried to sit up, to look for her daughter, but the hand of the doctor pushed her back down.

"Mrs. Egan, the second baby is not in the right position. We must move quick or they'll suffocate." She did her best to choke down her tears. To be strong for the child that was a surprise to her but no less cherished. But then she looked to her right and there he was. The man she had been begging for.

"Cass!" He lunged for her, her shaking hand reaching for him, their fingertips brushed and her pain disappeared for that brief moment. That flicker in time. "I'm here, baby, I'm-" She screamed as two security guards wrapped their arms around him and dragged him out of the room.

"No! John!" He roared against them as he felt Buck's hands against his face.

"Bucky-"

"Let me fucking go! That's my wife!" He couldn't lose her. Couldn't lose the mother of his child. Of his children. Couldn't lose his only reason for living.

He froze. A small creature pulled from his wife as the door shut in front of him. The baby wasn't crying.

"A boy," she barely whispered, her head lolling to the side. Eyes closed and face pale.

"No, no, no, no-" he chanted over and over again. Tears down his cheeks as they dragged him down the hallway. "No, not her. Not her, please." Not after everything they had survived. Everything they had been through. They were this close to everything they had ever wanted. This close to their dreams.

"Bucky! Bucky, look at me. Look at me!" Gale held John's face firmly between his palms. "You got a baby boy. You got a baby boy and a baby girl. Two new little Egans to terrorize me."

"Gale."

"I'm here, Bucky-"

"The boy. My son. His name is Gale."

[kisuminight]

With the DSMP Blade System AU, I'm more vibing than I am coming up with a coherent story. But if I did have to come up with a story that I wrote out, I'd probably end it on an emotional triumph instead of a one based in combat.

So the Egg gets beaten. In the process, c!Dream would find out that he is part of the shattered Aegis and that XD is looking to put his original Aegis Blade back together. He would also find out that c!Philza is an Aegis Blade.

So he'd turn over a copy of the code that he and c!Punz worked on, to make the Memory Patch something that goes out in a general Universal Patch. And Phil would mention that just one Aegis can't make changes to what is/will be in the Universal Patch (for security reasons) and that they'll need to contact another Aegis.

What Phil trying to say: "This is great, I'll look over it. We can't do it immediately but I'll reach out to my Goddess and we will see if we can get other gods and their Aegis on board."

What Dream hears: "This Plan is fucked unless you, personally, find another Aegis on this server."

And Dream doesn't know another Aegis. But he knows that he used to be one. And he knows from the Revival Book that Aegis!Dream was attempting to create the Universal Memory Patch himself. So, theoretically, if he lets DreamXD bring Aegis!Dream back, then their problems are solved.

Dream doesn't want to die. But he's picked up that he has several similarities with Aegis!Dream. It wouldn't be a real death, would it? No more a real death than any other Blade goes through, when they revert to their core crystal without the Memory Patch. One Blade to save every other Blade, and if he makes it a condition of giving himself over, Aegis!Dream would probably be much better at working out Phase 2 of The Plan than he and Punz ever could alone.

Normally Dream wouldn't bother to leave a note. But this is the last impact he is going to have and he can be assured that c!Techno will remember him. So he does. And Techno comes down the next day and finds a letter that isn't outright saying anything but basically reads like a suicide note and that's... a Problem.

So he rounds up the people he thinks can talk Dream out of this--the syndicate plus Punz and Sapnap, basically--and they go try and stop Dream. Who has almost a full day's head start. And there's only one place where DreamXD is absolutely going to show up--the End Portal. So now it's a manhunt, using their combined knowledge, plus Phil's ability to sense aether, plus Techno's passive to try and track him down.

In a sense, they fail. They almost catch him, but Dream is 15 minutes ahead of them when he activates the portal.

DreamXD is just chilling when Drista brings Dream to him. Dream offers him his whole goal. To let DreamXD take his core crystal, to fuse it with the other pieces he's collected to resurrect his Aegis Blade.

But DreamXD isn't sure that he wants that anymore. He's been speaking with c!George, making friends with George, bonding over how it felt to have a Blade that you loved and then lost. George, who was dreaming at that very moment, astral projecting himself into the End, this time, instead of DreamXD going to him. George who has watched this entire conversation, even though Dream can't see him, and will lose his Blade, again, if DreamXD regains his.

Drista is watching too. She's been acting as his Blade for over 100 years at this point. Drista, who brought Dream to DreamXD without saying a word, serious and still like she never is. Drista, with whom the emotional bleed of the Resonance is tomb-silent and resigned.

"No." DreamXD decides.

At this point, the manhunt team come crashing into the End, all "Dream you idiot, you're not allowed to sacrifice yourself again!" and "Alright XD, you wanna do this? Then we're gonna fight!" And it turns into a very chaotic mess as Niki and Ranboo attempt to retrieve Dream out of the line of fire, Techno, Sapnap, and Punz go all in on the fight-XD bit, and Phil sidles over to Drista to head that bit off.

Final resolution would be that they all sit down and get the situation explained. Phil mentions that he forwarded the code to the Blood God's Aegis, and she is willing to help. Dream gets cornered with the fact that people love him and care about him and they're a little mad about past lies but that's not enough to make them leave. DreamXD gets a chance to confront what he lost and start the process of healing, finally. He teleports them all home, to the Antarctic Anarchist Compound, and then wakes George up and teleports him and Purpled to the group.

And like, there's still stuff that they all need to talk about. Reconciliations need to occur. Relationships that need to be sorted out. George and Dream absolutely need to have a shouting match about what they mean to each other and not be allowed to run away from it until they've both said everything and they've both said the truth. Punz is also going to make them crack open the ugly truths of how Dream made Sapnap feel, but also how Sapnap made Dream feel.

Dream and Punz need to get sat down to explain what all they've been doing/working on. If you think that DTeam + Syndicate won't shut down the Plan Phase 2, you're wrong.

When c!Bad and c!Skeppy finish recovering from the Egg, I think Dream and Punz will work with them, Techno, and Philza, to see if they can make it so that Blades can have an independent existence/be Awake without their Drivers (like in YWKON's finale), and still have a Resonance if they want one.

Life keeps going, with it's ups and downs. But this would be a sweet, happy note to end on.

[hupla222]

Episode 65: Some Thoughts

Oh boy was I excited for this one. And it managed to mostly meet expectations. Let's talk about that. Don't worry, this won't be nearly as long as last time (sorry about the repost I just wanted to collect my thoughts more). As always, ley me know what you think!

The first thing to note is Amethio and Liko's plot. It...kinda lacked for me. I mean, they did talk but not as much as I hoped. Like they barely learned anything new about each other. But I guess that's to be expected. Can't have him go through his boring, predictable reformation in one day. They're already starting to understand each other it seems. Also, get wrecked Amethio. Get fired you stupid punk. I don't really care. Get out of the way so the more interesting characters can fight the RVT. Sorry not sorry if that's harsh. Amethio just bores me to tears. I still can't name even three personality traits for this dude.

As for the other two, their fight was as I expected it to be. It wasn't the focus of the episode (Amethio being a nothing burger was) so I can forgive it for mostly happening off screen. And who really wants to watch Roy and Dot get stomped by these two for an extended period of time. Was funny to see them dip after Grusha showed up. Sidian was like, I'm leaving, and then he did and he didn't look back either lol. I guess he knew she'd follow. Very cute side note, she was totally willing to stay and fight them all with Sidian but the second he left she just gave up and left too. And to me it seems that Sidian remains one of the kinder members. He didn't seem to want to hurt the children here, only stall them. Also his Garganacl is shown to know Recover here which fits his character nicely. It was also very nice to see that the chaos duo aren't as dumb as we thought. They aren't buying this whole betrayal thing. Seems like they really do care about Amethio or they just dislike Spinel that much. Either way its very clear that they aren't the real threats in the Explorers. They're just dumb muscle who's kept out of the loop. And once they know that loop who knows what they'll do. They also seem to be genuinely surprised that Amethio was let off so it seems unlikely that they have it out for him too.

This new preview got me hype. Looks like things are really going down here and maybe, just maybe, Sidian and Coral will be able to finish a battle for once. Probably a loss for them but I'll take it. It also appears like there's that Terastal glow behind Liko so maybe they're finally gonna Terastalize as well. In addition, my boy looks mad as hell in the preview. Like:

Who hurt him? Is he that much of a sore loser or is he mad about what happened to Amethio? Only time will tell and I'm so excited to know. Poor boy looks like he's losing it.

[sentientgolfball]

Someone a few days ago asked me why I don’t correct people when they misgender me and I’ve been thinking it about it nonstop so im gonna put all my thoughts under the cut. This isn’t like a vent btw it’s more like a…collecting my thoughts all in one place

I am openly nonbinary in my daily life…for the most part. I’m out to all my friends, I have a little pronouns pin on my bag, my preferred name and pronouns are on my school ID and when asked i introduced myself with my pronouns

But I won’t correct people. I won’t tell people either unless we get closer or I’m asked. Because I’m afraid. It has nothing to do with where I’m at, actually the school I go to is literally the most progressive school in my state. I feel genuinely safe here.

It’s because of where I came from. The Midwest is already touch and go, but coming from a small town in the middle of a cornfield? Yea it wasn’t good. I used to have a little pride flag wallet on my keychain and then I got followed home by multiple trucks after making a quick stop at Walmart. I got a new wallet the next day. I was 17 when that happened. I was one of the quiet kids in school and I listened to everything around me. I heard a lot of things that made me feel unsafe. I remember one of my teachers had us debate the ethics of allowing trans people in sports and only 3 people argued for trans athletes myself included. It sucked.

But now I’m here. I’m on the opposite side of my state in this is very open and very supportive community. Granted all it takes is about a 10-15 minute drive to be back in that territory but for a majority of my time I’m in an environment where I’m not 1 of 5 trans kid but 1 of hundreds. I know I’m safe. I know I’m not the only trans person my professors or coworkers have met.

I am still afraid. I’m afraid I’ll lose my job. I know this isn’t true because one of my coworkers is an openly trans woman. I’m afraid I’ll be followed home again.

And then I’m asked “why don’t you correct people?” It was actually my coworker who asked me this. I’m not upset with her, I told her she could ask whatever she wanted and I was happy to answer for her. It’s just…put a lot of things into perspective I hadn’t really thought about.

This year specifically for some reason I've also been thinking a lot about my gender. Tried a few different pronouns, got my first binder, realized I get top surgery and start T one day. Yet that one question for just a moment made me question everything. Made me stop and go "am I really nonbinary because I don't correct people?"

And I thought to myself "no that's silly" because if one of my friends ever purposefully misgendered me for no reason other than to not out me I'd feel wrong. Itchy. Because for a brief moment I considered using he/they pronouns and it just felt so wrong to be he. I am not a he or a she, I am a me. And idk that was really weird for me because I've never had that moment before. Granted I was never really in the space to explore my identity before but now that I have steady meals and my own little space my brain has been able to ponder.

I've been thinking about legally changing my name, but once again I am afraid. Doing it when I turn 21 in November would be easiest because I have to renew my ID anyways, but that means looking my parents in the eye and explaining. That would mean telling all my old lady coworkers at home why. That would mean telling my boss here why. And that scares me so much. Because once I do they'll look at me differently. But it would make my life so easy to be able to change my name before I graduate. Because then I can go into my career field as Rain and not [redacted]. Granted as a teacher I'll just be referred to by my last name 90% of the time which tbh is somehow worse than redacted?? Explain that one to me.

Idk this is a very long ramble that pretty much sums up to be I am nonbinary and I love being nonbinary but man is the brain a funky place.

[dadddybangtan]

Suck Torture | 22

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cw: slight gore, mentions of statutory r*pe/incest, angry beomgyu, mentions of non consensual situations, mentions of childbirth

word count: 1.7k

a.n. this chapter fucks me up bro.. and this is the final beomgyu centered chapter of this book <3

Spending the night at Hyunjin's house wasn't my plan at all. I didn't feel comfortable staying there, but at least I had Taehyun. I secretly wished he hadn't been so nice to Hyunjin, picking out his clothes and immediately admitting that he was right about us staying. He could've at least pretended to be on my side.

The guest room Hyunjin directed us to was quiet and decorated similarly to his. It was dark with crimson accents and curtained windows. Only the bed was a bit smaller, probably a queen instead of a king. I didn't complain. It was bigger than Taehyun's bed and the couch in our living room.

"Beomgyu," Taehyun said, staying at the closed door and watching me pace, "Are you- okay?"

"Why do you ask?"

"You just seem really upset and agitated."

"I am."

Taehyun swallowed hard, crossing his arms over his chest before saying, "It's making it hard to be next to you when you're so worked up."

"I'm sorry, but can you blame me? I don't wanna be in the same house with the person who turned me for longer than I have to. And I can't go home because his fucking brother is breaking the spell and if I go out at night, they'll find me and do whatever the fuck they do with vampires they find."

"I just think if you really loved Hyunjin," He sighed, collecting his thoughts, "You'd be a little more understanding of why he turned you."

"And if you really loved me, you'd understand how violated that makes me feel."

"Don't you realize that everything he's ever done has been to protect you?" He yelled.

I'd never really heard him raise his voice at me that way until then. It caught me off guard, totally silencing me and freezing me in place.

"Of course I know that," I breathed out, finally sitting on the bed, "I just wish he would've asked me before literally stripping me of my humanity."

Taehyun's eyes became intense and his heart rate slowed down a bit.

"Would you have said 'yes?'"

That was a question I didn't know the answer to. On one hand, the human experience is meant to be lived by those born to do so. Right? On the other hand, humanity has little rewards.

That's not to say that I thought Hyunjin's life was better than mine because he was a vampire. I thought it was better than mine because he was rich. But I quickly learned that he had problems too. Complicated, generational, inescapable problems. Unlike mine, that were as simple as bigotry and homelessness. Both of which were resolved rather conveniently with me running away and finding a new home in the same day.

The more complex problems, like losing a friend to murder and someone trying to murder me as well, weren't present until vampires came into my life.

"I don't know," I answered honestly, "Either way, it really sucks to be alive."

Three hard knocks were heard on the door, making Taehyun jump in shock. He turned around and opened the door.

"Hi," Hyunjin's mother said softly, "Would you two like to come down for dinner? We're having gore infused noodles and pork."

"No." I said sternly.

I didn't want to be a vampire nor did I want to eat like one. And I really didn't want to sit near Hyunjin at a dinner table. I would rather have starved.

Taehyun whipped his head to me, pulling his eyebrows together in frustration.

"Please," She continued, "I lost my family and we have a lot of room down there. Please, it's just dinner."

"We'd love to." Taehyun said.

"Thanks, love... We'll see you downstairs in a quarter to six."

Taehyun softly closed the door.

"Would you stop acting like a child?" He scorned, "If you're gonna be this bitter and stubborn, I'll find another guest room."

"I can be bitter and stubborn all I want."

"Then that's a sad life you're gonna live, Beomgyu," He said coldly, "A long, sad life."

My stomach was growling and I struggled to admit that the food in front of me looked delicious. Hyunjin's mother ate so gracefully at the head of the tae that it made it look even more appealing. Across from me was Hyunjin, who wasn't eating at all, and next to me was Taehyun, who was eating just fine. So why was I having such a hard time?

It wasn't a hard question to answer. I was fighting the instincts that were recently forced upon me.

"Is it okay, Taehyun," Hyunjin's mom asked politely, "I asked the chef to make yours a little less gory."

"I can tell, thank you. It's great."

I huffed at his demeanor. It annoyed me how nice he was acting.

"Hyunjin, just take a bite," She whispered, "It'll help with the... It'll help you feel better. You too, Beomgyu."

"Can I have what Taehyun is having?"

"As a newly turned vampire, it's normal to–."

"Normal? You think you're normal?"

"Don't interrupt me," She said, voice gaining power and assertion, "And don't disrespect my kind. Many people don't know this, but I was a human before my husband turned me. I remember having trouble adjusting to this lifestyle too. But after thousands of years and three beautiful kids, I claim it proudly. There's nothing else I'd rather be."

"Father turned you?" Hyunjin asked quietly.

It didn't surprise me that he never knew. Their family seemed to keep a lot of secrets from each other.

"Yes. He married me as a human. And I wanted to have his kids. But I would've died if I tried to birth twin dhampirs. So..." She paused, silently recalling the memory, "He turned me. And I love him for that."

"Your story sounds a lot more romantic than mine," I muttered, "More consensual too."

Hyunjin eyed me. Don't tell her.

"What do you mean by more consensual?"

"Hyunjin turned me without asking me."

"Hyunjin?"

"Yeah and had the audacity to be surprised when I was upset."

"I did it to protect you."

"I'd rather die tomorrow than live the way you live." My voice echoed off of the walls.

"How could you do this, Hyunjin," She cried, "How could you be so selfish?"

"I-I'm sorry."

"You don't understand. That's against the laws of the treaty."

"The treaty said not to kill humans, that's it."

"Fine print, Hyunjin. You cannot turn a human without their consent," She yelled, "What is wrong with the men in this family? The spell will be completely broken any day now and it's all our family's fault... Pack your bags. We're leaving and going into hiding tomorrow."

Hyunjin's face went even paler, shame and guilt finally catching up to him.

"And, Beomgyu, on behalf of my son, I sincerely apologize." She said, beginning to stand up and leave.

"Since you're apologizing for your sons, I should let you know that your other son, Niki, killed our friend on Christmas."

"My deepest apologies," She stammered, "For the trauma my family has cause you and your friend. I promise this is the last you'll see of us."

She walked away quietly, leaving Hyunjin and Taehyun speechless.

"Do you see why I was so upset now," I asked Taehyun, but all he could do was stare at Hyunjin, "Do you?"

"Beomgyu, my love–."

"Don't you dare say that to me now."

"I know you're upset, but don't take it out on Taehyun," He said, "It hurts enough for you to hate me, but I can't watch you hate him too, he did nothing wrong."

"God, Hyunjin, I don't hate you." I admitted weakly.

"You don't?"

"No," I said, tears welling up in my eyes, "I love you. I hate what you did... And now you're leaving me like this. In a body I don't understand. Forever."

"Come with me. Both of you, come with me. Create a new family with me, build a new treaty with us."

"I want to. And I want to because I love you, but," A single tear traced down my cheek, "I can't. I don't trust you."

I grabbed the fork and the plate and stood up to leave.

"I'm really sorry, Beomgyu. But I'm grateful that I can go into hiding again knowing that you love me."

I left without another word and Taehyun followed me to the guest room. I sat at the desk on the far end of the room. I looked at the gore infused dish in front of me. My mouth watered involuntarily. My body wanted it more than my brain did, but I fought it.

"Beomgyu," Taehyun said from the bed, "I know what it's like to love someone you can't trust. And what it's like to have something taken from you without your permission..."

"What do you mean?" I asked without having the heart to look at him. I wanted him to tell me without me reading him.

"My mom did some fucked up things to keep custody over my sister and I after the divorce," He grumbled, "Mom always get a leg up, but she knew my dad had enough reasons to take us. Enough to take to court... So she planted bruises on me to frame my dad. I haven't seen him since I was thirteen."

"Fuck." I whispered to myself, closing my eyes and holding back more tears.

"And when she won, she used me. Every other day until she died of an overdose."

"She used you?"

"She took my virginity."

Suddenly I couldn't breathe. And the smell of the food became foul. I turned around to look at him, surprised to see him so collected and confident. If I were retelling that, I would've broken down.

"T-Taehyun."

"So, I'm sorry I defended Hyunjin... I just wish someone could've protected me like that. Even if it was something as drastic and permanent as turning me into a vampire."

"I have a question that might be a little invasive."

"Okay."

"Is that why you don't have sex with me?"

His face remained expressionless as he nodded his head. I finally understood and it filled my body with overwhelming passion. And the powers I possessed had finally resonated with me. Hyunjin would be leaving, so he wouldn't be protecting me anymore. He cursed me to protect myself. But he blessed me to protect Taehyun.

"I'm sorry, Taehyun," I choked, meeting him on the bed and holding him in my chest, "When I get the chance to protect you, I will. I promise I will."

[littleminnowswimming]

Avengers as Taylor Swift Songs

Okay, hi, hello, I have seen many posts detailing the Avengers as Taylor Swift songs, and they are usually written by either Swifties or Marvel fans, which causes some… problems. For example, I saw one list that said "illicit affairs" was Peter's because it said "don't call me kid" even though the SONG IS ABOUT CHEATING AND DOESN'T FIT HIM HELLO. Anyway, given that I have been a marvel and Taylor fan for at least a decade each, I have decided that I have enough expertise to create a definitive list. I think it is very good, though I'm sure there will be corrections. I know I didn't use songs from all of her albums but that is because I only wanted to use the songs she owns, and the songs that fit were more populated on her more recent albums. Also Tony, Peter, and Steve get two because I'm indecisive :)

Tony Stark: Epiphany or Anti-hero

Song Link:

Taylor Swift – epiphany (Official Lyric Video)

Taylor Swift - Anti-Hero (Official Lyric Video)

Most fitting lyric:

"Only 20 minutes to sleep/But you dream of some epiphany/Just one single glimpse of relief/ To make some sense of what you've seen"

"Did you hear my covert narcissism I disguise as altruism/Like some kind of congressman? (Tale as old as time)/I wake up screaming from dreaming/One day I'll watch as you're leaving

And life will lose all its meaning"

Explanation: I feel like this one is pretty self-explanatory, but let me crack at it anyway. Many people might label Epiphany as Steve's song because of the military references, but Tony holds more guilt for the evil he's done and the harm that the avengers have done. This is most easy to see in the five years around Endgame, where Tony is haunted by the fact that they lost and tries desperately to avoid having to work to make a difference. Tony just wants an answer to everything, but feels as though all he can do is dream without an answer. As for "anti-hero"… lets be honest, this one is pretty self-explanatory. Tony is harsh on himself and likes to hide himself behind fake narcissism. That's what we see.

Steve Rogers: "coney island" or "Right where you left me"

Song Link:

Taylor Swift - coney island (Lyric Video) ft. The National

Taylor Swift - right where you left me (Official Lyric Video)

Most Fitting Lyric:

"Were you waiting at our old spot/In the tree line, by the gold clock?/Did I leave you hanging every single day?/…/And when I got into the accident/The sight that flashed before me was your face"

OR

"Everybody moved on/I, I stayed there/Dust collected on my pinned-up hair/They expected me to find somewhere/Some perspective, but I sat and stared"

Explanation: Both of these songs reflect Steve's inability to leave the past as the past. He is still watching, waiting, looking for his opportunity to go back to the 1940's. There's also a reflection of his love for Peggy, which is his main goal, beyond what he is currently facing.

Bruce Banner: "peace"

Song Link:

Taylor Swift – peace (Official Lyric Video)

Most Fitting Lyric:

"But there's robbers to the east, clowns to the west/I'd give you my sunshine, give you my best/But the rain is always gonna come if you're standing with me"

Explanation: I was realllllllllllllllllllllllll close to using this song for Peter, but I think at the end of the day, it fits Bruce better. He worries throughout the movies that he can't have a normal life because of the whole whole Hulk thing. He seems to crave it and fear it at the same time, as does this song.

Thor: "The Lucky One"

Song Link: Taylor Swift - The Lucky One (Taylor's Version) (Lyric Video)

Most Fitting Lyric:

"And they'll tell you now, you're the lucky one/Yeah, they'll tell you now, you're the lucky one/Can you tell me now you're the lucky one?"

Explanation: This was not an easy one for me to label. I wanted to get something that fully encapsulated his grief and depression while also giving him something that showed off his past. I would say that this song gives off this impression, as he is realizing that he has everything he was supposed to want and nothing like he was actually aiming for. Feeling a little meh about this, but it's what I got.

Natasha Romanoff: "the archer"

Song Link: Taylor Swift - The Archer (Lyric Video)

Most Fitting Lyric: "Combat, I'm ready for combat/I say I don't want that, but what if I do?/…./'Cause all of my enemies started out friends/Help me hold onto you/I've been the archer/I've been the prey/Who could ever leave me darling?/But who could stay?"

Explanation: I know, I know, everyone wants to put Nat in her rep era because they think it sounds badass, but simply labeling her as a badass feels a little… deeming, don't you think? That's why I refuse to give her either "The Man" or any old revenge song, because she's cool! And deep! I have to give her something cool and deep! She, like Bruce, wants a family and is instead perched for a fight. She doesn't know how to trust as fully as she would like to, and struggles with who to let in the Avengers.

Hawkeye: "Sweet Nothing"

Song Link:

Taylor Swift - Sweet Nothing (Official Lyric Video)

Most Fitting Lyric:

"'Cause they said the end is coming/Everyone's up to something/I find myself running home to your sweet nothings/Outside, they're push and shoving/You're in the kitchen humming/All that you ever wanted from me was nothing"

Explanation: Hawkeye. Is. A Soft Dad. He don't wanna fight, he wants his fam.

Bucky: "This is Me Trying"

Song Link:

Taylor Swift – this is me trying (Official Lyric Video)

Most Fitting Lyric:

"I didn't know if you'd care if I came back/I have a lot of regrets about that/Pulled the car off the road to the lookout/Could've followed my fears all the way down"

Explanation: Bucky is trying his best, and still feels like he's slipping, which is pretty 'this is me trying' of him. Honestly I don't need to put more here, he's sad, the song is sad, that's what I got.

Wanda: "Bigger Than The Whole Sky"

Song Link: Taylor Swift - Bigger Than The Whole Sky (Lyric Video)

Most Fitting Lyric:

"And I've got a lot to pine about/I've got a lot to live without/I'm never gonna meet/What could've been, would've been/What should've been you"

Explanation: Wanda has lost so much throughout her past, her brother, Vision, and of course, her kids. That one relates most to the first song, as she is dealing with her grief of what should've been the life she wanted. I thought about putting 'delicate' here too, but I think her reputation and falling in love with Vision is much less important than her kids and her grief. Could also do with 'Vigilante Shit' for the sole purpose of Multiverse of Madness'

Vision: "the lakes"

Song Link: Taylor Swift - the lakes (Official Lyric Video)

Most Fitting Lyric:

"Take me to the lakes where all the poets went to die/I don't belong, and my beloved, neither do you/…/I want auroras and sad prose/I want to watch wisteria grow right over my bare feet/'Cause I haven't moved in years/And I want you right here"

Explanation: This one was also not easy, though unlike the Thor problem this is because Vision has barely over 100 minutes of screen time throughout the Marvel movies so far. So yeah. Less than two hours didn't really give me much. HOWEVER you know what I do know about him? He likes Wanda. And he wants to hide away from the crazy of it all. And 'the lakes' reconciled those two facts. I also liked giving a sentient robot a song about poets. Heheheh so fun. This is also quite fitting for Wanda, but she's busy with her not-alive kids.

Peter Parker: "You're on Your Own, Kid" or "Eyes Open"

Song Link: Taylor Swift - You're On Your Own, Kid (Official Lyric Video)

Eyes Open (Taylor's Version)

Most Fitting Lyric:

"'Cause there were pages turned with the bridges burned/Everything you lose is a step you take/So make the friendship bracelets/Take the moment and taste it/You've got no reason to be afraid/…/You're on your own, kid/You always have been."

"The tricky thing is yesterday we were just children/Playing soldiers, just pretending/Dreaming dreams with happy endings/In backyards, winning battles with our wooden swords/But now we've stepped into a cruel world"

Explanation: OOOOO BABY PETER TIME THE WHOLE REASON I MADE THIS LIST. Peter is. A child. Or at least he was for the majority of his plot line, and I wanted to make sure the song that I chose reflected that, which both of these do. I also wanted to reflect the coming-of-age that Peter goes through, and the fear that he is put through in his plot lines. And yet, at the end of it, he still doesn't know what he's up to. He's still lost, and he's still scared. WAY BETTER THAN GIVING HIM ILLICIT AFFAIRS JUST BECAUSE IT SAYS DON'T CALL ME KID.

Thus ends my Swiftie and Marvel fan rant. Hope you enjoyed. Let me know if you want me to do more characters below because I just did my faves :D

[crossroadsdimension]

I know it hasn't come up here a lot because a lot of the posts I've made in the last couple of years have had something to do with Final Fantasy XIV (or other FF games, since I've played 16) -- but I'm a Pokemon fan. Not on a competitive level, but I definitely like to dig into the lore and the story and go on a collection spree when the games let me.

(That last bit is why I haven't completed Legends Arceus yet because I've been trying to perfect as many entries as possible. I've got the last of the Nobles on my hit list and I'm terrified because I've heard he's...big. I'll face him soon, is the plan.)

But with Pokemon Day coming up on Tuesday, I figured I'd throw my hat into the ring for guessing at what games they're going to be announcing next for the main console stuff. Personally, I don't expect they'll get a lot of attention because The Pokemon Company has a lot of pies to put fingers in, but I hope for at least one new main series game teaser. Two at most.

What games, though, is a question, because I'm seeing 4 options here.

Black and White Remakes (or Sequels depending on what they decide to do with the plot)

Another Legends game (potentially Jhoto, which I'm seeing rumors for, or maybe Unova.)

Let's Go Jhoto games

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Explorers remake (wishful thinking on my part, I know.)

I'm gonna go ahead and put my thoughts as to why for each of these under the cut cause this post is gonna get long.

So, firstly -- Black and White Remakes/Sequels

Thinking they'll announce this is honestly pretty obvious. With all the hints that Scarlet and Violet dropped in the Indigo Disc DLC, what with the location of Blueberry Academy and the Elite Four kids being from Unova (Lacey being Clay's kid, Drayton being Drayden's grandson, etc), you'd be a fool not to think about this being a possibility. Not a guarantee, certainly, but a possibility all the same.

How they could tackle Unova, though, is another question, because either they're gonna remake Black and White wholesale and leave B2/W2 to collect dust, or they're going to continue the storyline further forward from where B2/W2 left off. I mean, I'd love to see how insane Ghestis got after we trounced him so thoroughly and the Shadow Triad spirited him away. The ninjas said their boss was broken when you run into them in Iccirus City post-game, after all. I'd love to see how far he spiraled!

But that's just wishful thinking. We're probably just going to get a bog-standard B/W remake. Whether or not it's in the same style as Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl, well...we'll have to wait and see.

(But I would love it if the acknowledged Ingo's absence from the Battle Subway somehow...and maybe gave us an in-game event if the game acknowledged that we completed Legends Arceus? One where Ingo comes home?)

Speaking of -- a new Legends game

With how popular Legends Arceus has gotten, it wouldn't surprise me if they continued the trend of games that cover some of the Pokemon world's history. What region and what story are probably going to be up in the air, but I could see it going either for Jhoto or Unova. Both because they're due for remakes (either the Let's Go variant or the bog-standard generation remakes we've been seeing) and because of the hints being dropped about Unova. And if they do the "protagonist gets time traveled" bit again, Jhoto would make more sense just because of Celebi's presence. Although I'm gonna withhold judgement until we get more info. I think, at this point, I'm just wondering who else from a battle facility is gonna get ripped across time and space and lose their memory in the process. Because first it was Anabel from the Battle Tower in Hoenn (via Ultra Wormholes to another dimension), then it was Ingo to Hisui (via space-time rift because of the absence of Ultra Beasts)....

...if Emmet was with his brother at the moment the rift opened and swallowed Ingo, I wouldn't be surprised if they fell together and were separated in the rift, I'll be honest. He could pop up in the next Legends game for all we know.

Moving on! Let's Go Jhoto

Considering it's been a few years since Pikachu&Eevee, we're probably overdue for another Gen 2 remake. And if they pair up a region remake and a Legends game, that means that Legends Jhoto and Let's Go Jhoto could be a pair, like BDSP and Legends Arceus. What Pokemon you'd have as your partners, though, I have very little idea. I remember seeing someone suggest Togepi and Wooper, which...I'll accept the first one, but I'm not so sure about the other.

Now for some wishful thinking.

It's been 4 years since Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Rescue Team DX was released in March 2020. I don't know about you guys, but I would love to see the Explorers games get the same treatment. An announcement at Pokemon Presents would be something I plan to squeal non-stop about. But I'm not expecting it, because not a lot of people are talking about wanting a remake for it on social media right now.

I'll be honest with you, I'm mostly putting this here because I'm nostalgic and I want to be able to play as a Vulpix in a Mystery Dungeon game on my Switch. And cry when the Emotions hit, because Explorers is very good at making the Emotions hit.

And those are my speculations! I'm not expecting anything to come from making this post, nor am I expecting to see these during the Pokemon Presents on Pokemon Day 2024. But I wanted to get my ramblings out in the open somewhere because I think I'm gonna explode if I just sit on them in a house where I'm the only Pokemon fan.

[requiemforarainbow]

Little expansion on my last post. Under the cut too.

I don't know why I always feel this need to explain everything, but I'm gonna attempt to satisfy it. So here goes.

Regarding my Nintendo "collection": I am a packrat. Probably genetic; my mom is too. I don't like to throw things away that still work, and I still get enjoyment from this stuff. Getting rid of something I may never be able to get again just doesn't work for me. And getting a digital copy means I may lose access to that too, if the system it's on breaks, or a company decides to pull it. (Happened with Netflix; they took one of my fave shows off their service, and I only found out when I went to watch it again. I don't want the same thing to happen to a game I'm invested in, especially if I haven't finished it or transferred stuff off it.)

It would be different if a game/system breaks. If it's totally non-functional (like my cartridge copy of Silver), then I accept I may have to toss it. But I don't like it. Even busted, I still want to keep it to acknowledge I had it. I owned it. I played it.

And all these systems and games? They were purchased with my parents' sweat and blood. In my dad's case, sometimes literally.

My parents are both retired now, but when he was working, my dad was a firefighter. 30+ years, both as a volunteer and a professional (paid) one. Firefighter and paramedic, in fact. And a small business owner - he owned a gun shop. (No hate, plz. Seriously. I've heard it all. I don't need the BS.)

At one time, when I was about 8-9, he was working 3 jobs simultaneously. Firehouse, ambulance service, and the store. There was an entire YEAR when I only saw my father long enough to say "Hi, dad, love you."

That October, my dad had to sit my sister and me down and tell us we might not be able to afford Christmas. We'd still get something in our stockings, some candy maybe, but no "real" presents. I didn't care; I told my dad what I really wanted was to spend Christmas with him. That's all I wanted, and I was super serious about it.

I swear to God I think I broke his heart with that.

He ended up having to shut down the store in November (troubles with the rent and family shit), and believe it or not, we actually had enough money to afford a small Christmas that year.

This is to say that we have, for decades, survived on a civil servant's salary, and whatever my mom's job at the time brought in. (She's been a switchboard operator, a billing clerk for the same ambulance service my dad worked for, and then a billing clerk for an oral surgeon.)

I have never gotten a game or game system on launch day - except for one game. (Animal Crossing: New Horizons. I saved for it.)

I have always gotten a game or game system months or years after it was released. Traditionally for Christmas, or my birthday if backordered. Since the two are within a month of each other, if something comes out between late January and Christmas, I have to wait. And I don't mind doing so. I never have. Will people be "ahead of me" in the game? Yes. But that also means they'll have experience if I need to ask for help. What routes to take. What not to do. I may miss out on some limited-edition and time-sensitive stuff, like DLC, but that's life. I've missed out on events before because I hate leaving the house, so...nothing new.

With both my parents retired now, we literally live on my dad's pension. Considering how poorly firefighters are paid, it's sometimes tight. (He retired at captain, so it's at least a good amount. But honestly? Firefighters should be paid a SHITLOAD more than they are. But that's a rant for another time.)

What about my paycheck? Well...I'm disabled. I have 3 doctors willing to write the note to hopefully get me on SSI. But at my age (almost 36), I'll almost inevitably be rejected the first time and have to hire a lawyer to appeal. Are my parents willing to help with that? Yes. Why? Because they'd love to see me hopefully being able to support myself a little. (I've tried to mention to them that I'd still be living in poverty even with that, but...boomers.)

Is it possible for me to work at all? No. I can't sit for more than 90 minutes at a stretch. I can't stand for more than 30. I require a cane to walk now. I'm prone to migraine headaches both from overuse of a screen and from florescent lights. My mental illness also makes it damn near impossible to keep my mouth shut. I have no filter; I will call out stupid and not give a damn.

Work from home? See above re: overuse of computer screen, sitting time, and add in carpal tunnel.

Hence the doctors going "Yeah, Jordi, you're kinda fucked."

I've had 2 paying jobs in my life. One was retail, for all of 3 months. I'm pretty sure I got fired for getting injured on the job, but they couldn't actually admit that, so they called it "backtalking a supervisor." (I was TERRIFIED of confrontation back then. I would NEVER have said boo to my supervisor, so it's definite bullshit.) The other one, my first job, was as a filing clerk for...the same ambulance company my parents worked for. Best job I ever had; sit in a basement, file ambulance "run cards," not deal with people. ("Run cards" were the physical paperwork the paramedics had to fill out for every patient they transported. Name, date of birth, insurance, etc. Then they'd file it with the ambulance company billing department to bill the insurance - or the patient if no insurance - and then I'd file it away. They were required to keep them for a minimum of 7 years. Now it's all digital, so that job is, sadly, obsolete.)

Is it kind of embarrassing to still be reliant on my parents for money at my age? Yes. But at the same time, I know how goddamn privileged I am to be able to. How privileged I am that they didn't just kick me out at 18. That they recognize I'm disabled and actually care; not attempt to insist that I can work regardless of reality.

That being said... If I could work, I would in a heartbeat. When I was younger, I had so many volunteer positions - assistant teacher at Girls Inc. for the dance teacher, ceramics teacher, sewing teacher (who just happened to be my mom). I volunteered with political campaigns - most of which my grandmother ran. To be fair, I didn't do these things for nothing in return - my high school required at least 20 hours of community service to graduate, and all the volunteering counted. (I ended up being the 2nd highest community service holder in my class - over 1000 hours over 4 years.)

My "dream job" is to write. Novelist. Editor. Hell, Presidential Speechwriter, if I could snag such a position. (That's my only "political" goal.) I've got more WIPs than I can name. I've got a 2 TB hard drive, almost half full with writing. If I ever managed to get published, believe me, my position will not be "Oh, I did this all by myself." NOOOOOOO. Not even close.

My parents will be thanked. My grandparents. My sister. My friends. Hell, my neighbors.

I don't know why I'm so defensive sometimes. I think it's because I've heard basically everything someone can throw at me and accuse me of regarding everything I've just mentioned.

"You don't know how privileged you are!" Yes. Yes I do.

"You must be rich to have <insert whatever here>!" No, just very fucking lucky.

Stuff like that.

And man, do I know how lucky I got with the parent lottery. Supportive, fairly permissive, and just damn nice. (I have friends that, by the end of their first visit, were already calling them "mom" and "dad".)

Wanna watch that R-rated movie and you're only 9? Okay, but you have to watch it with us so we can answer your questions. (Watched Braveheart in 5th grade. Used some knowledge from that movie to answer a question in class correctly and end up with a shitload of candy. Yes, I made a lot of friends.)

Raised Catholic. Sent to Sunday school. Oh, wait, you want to quit because your teachers have completely disillusioned you are actively trying to sabotage your education? Okay, that's cool. (8th grade Sunday school teacher tried to get us to not take sex ed. Which was rolled into health class in my school. If you failed it, you had to retake it. Until you passed. And sex ed was a whole quarter. And no exemption for religious reasons - you got an F for that section if you sat it out. I got snarky, teacher got pissed, I said "fuck this.") Rejected the entire religion and became pagan? Okay, that's cool. (Yes, they wished me a Blessed Yule again this year. And every year for the last 16.)

Brought home a boyfriend? Awesome. If he breaks your heart, I break his face. (Both parents said this) Figured out you're bi? Awesome. I don't care who you date. But if they break your heart, I break their face.

Don't want biological kids? Okay. Disappointed but understandable. (Long story short, I'd have to go off some meds, and NO ONE wants that.) And adoption is a thing. To be honest...that was always my first inclination anyway.

Okay. I think that need to explain is satisfied. Sorry this is a long-ass rant again. Probably no one will read this anyway, but that annoying voice in my head is quieter now.

And I'm gonna go play Pokemon.

[uttraashadha]

SATURN&JUPITER

If in Retro, are amazing

This is Part One of series where I explain that The duo when in retrograde are ain't THAT bad. IM NOT JOKING-

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"Whatever I write down in here is part of my pure research, knowledge and observations that I have collected over the years of my practice, please take it as grain of Salt. And if it doesn't resonate. Leave it as it is <3" - Uttarashadha.

DO NOT Plagiarize my work, I'll know about it.

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-ˋˏ ༻Let's discuss Saturn Retrograde ༺ ˎˊ-

Ok here me out, Saturn retrograde is demonized at times and tbh well it doesn't click with me. Yes retrogrades are tricky, but listen. We should also consider WHAT planet we are talking about here right.

And according to me? Saturn in Retrograde is anyday better than Saturn in Direct (Saturn direct people dont come for me but you're still killing it ok?)

There are number of things why I make this statement.

Saturn is end of the day the planet of limitations, following rules and routines too, As I said in one of my previous posts how Saturn acts like a Servant, He rules karma and is significator of old age.

Now when it goes retrograde, all of these things, actually flip. (No I'm not saying Saturn suddnely is not signifying old age or karma 💀)

Saturn here, a rule follower, a servant. Doesn't wanna be that anymore. He who in direct, represents limitations, He wants to BREAK them when he is in retrograde, This position actually makes one a lowkey or even high key (Depending on the position) A clear rebellion. Saturn wants to become limitless here. He wants to do things that are not associated with Saturn in direct. He goes all crazy opposite, and tbh most of these things can be considered positive.

As he now wants to become limitless, Saturn in direct natives, who can be restricting in certain way or fashion,With Retrograde Saturn here goes out and wants to experience and learn, the seeking, eager energy is CRAZY here. And he will learn in ways that are not traditional, yeah, he loses his track of traditionality here too. He hates routines and doesn't wanna be abided by them which then makes them someone who wouldnt ever go for a 9 to 5 job, a good tip- if you see someone with Saturn in Retro just know, they arent made for 9 to 5 jobs. Even if they end up in one, it ain't gonna last long. (THERE CAN BE SOME EXCEPTIONS) but so far, I haven't seen anybody with Saturn in retro happily doing the jobs with fixed timings. Its just not for them, while saturn in direct can adjust with it if they want to. (You'll see most celebrities having Saturn in Retro) because mostly in media business, timings, routines, etc are never fixed. And people in Saturn retro can do AMAZING with such jobs , because for them even in daily "routines" they need this feel the sense of newness.

You'll tell them "we going to work 3 in the morning" and they'll be "ah what ok gonna pack bags ig"

Overall this retro kinda makes them adventurous, they lowkey need adventure in some kind or form (If these guys have Jupiter retro along with this, their " adventure" might mean ending up learning about weirdest things at 4 in the morning) .

Now coming with the old age thing and karma. This thing kinda flips too. How?

Saturn in retro makes you struggle in the first half of your life (so making you pay for your karma when you are young) and then letting lose relax as you cross your 30s.

While saturn in direct can make you struggle in later half of the life (old age). After 30s.

People with Capricorn placements even if with Saturn in retro can make one yet conservative, traditional,limiting and unconventional and experimental at the same time. It's a weird weird match. The native might even question themselves here and there "am I legit like that...I thought I was like THIS".

This can be caused, because of constant friction between Capricorn and Saturn retro. Specially if Saturn is in Aries (Lmao idk this is chaotic)

Saturn Retro in Aries legit gonna add such a fire to the already rebellion Saturn and if you have cap placements there is constant back and forth.

Oh and because it has CROSSED the limitations,, it makes you successful in life, cus no limitations right? Specially if its sitting with good placement like 10th, 11th or 3rd.

Saturn in Retro can also make one quite with ethic of being rich. (I'm talking in vedic terms) back then being rich according to sages were being "Spiritual" while pleasures and desires were seen as sign poverty. Saturn in retro kinda gives this boost of possibilty of one becoming rich in life (in sense of desires, money etc)

Saturn in retrograde thus becomes about "Self" rather than the Servant Saturn in direct who is always about "Others". Saturn in retro knows where to think about self and also about others. Here one becomes quite reflecting of their own actions because they are now paying attention to themselves too just as outside.

Now this rebellion side may take a turn and become quite toxic (as in hurting the society and always caring about going against elders to the point its actually stupid) but if your mars is well placed (if Mars in Capricorn for instance these guys will be well balanced of all. They know when to cross lines and when to live by their own rules) and if you have grounding placements of Virgo, you'll be fine too.

-But mostly saturn retro doesn't make you go act crazy etc. This is a rare instance that could take place, though personally I haven't seen anybody with this placement doing such things but let's say it's more like a add up to what could go wrong, IF.

Overall, Saturn in Retro makes you a limitless, experimental, unconventional and quite adjusting of a person. While the direct can make one quite limiting and all this saturn purely represents. Hence why I land on to saying, Saturn in retrograde is tbh? NOT BAD.

These guys are diamonds that are tbh, too excited (If placed in aries) for anything. And if saturn is Retro and in Aries seith not much capricorn present, the friction would maybe be less because there is no direct Saturn to cause restrictions here.

If this post goes well I'll soon be posting about why Jupiter is amazing deal as well if in retro in pt. 2.

I wish you health, wealth and luck, reader. ▁ ▂ ▃ ▄ ▅ ▆ █ 100 %

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- © 2021 Uttarashadha..

PT. 2 , JUPITER IN RETRO!

╰┈➤ main page..

-X x X

[karmananami]

This is my collection of quotes. Do with it what you will

~How fleeting are all human passions compared with the massive continuity of ducks.

~Nothing's set in stone, but they're set in a dirt road. If you roll your wagon in the same path too much it'll soon be the only path you can take without struggling.

~I've got a date with destiny, and it ain't gonna end with a kiss.

~If nothing we do matters, then all that matters is what we do.

~If the world chooses to become my enemy, then I will fight it just as I always have.

~You've got to make a statement. You've got to look inside yourself and say: what am I willing to put up with today?

~Can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in a way that matters.

~No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle.

~There is no light at the end of the tunnel so it's a good thing we brought matches.

~The answer to despair is action.

~One day you'll decompose, and I'll be there to watch it happen.

~While you're worried about 'bad apples', we're wary of the roots, because no healthy tree naturally bears bad fruit.

~If art is how we decorate space, then music is how we decorate time.

~Do I look like the kind of woman who dies?

~Impotent of you to assume I will meet a mortal end.

~Bury me shallow, I'll be back.

~I thought there were no Heroes left in this world.

~To feel sorrow is to deserve peace.

~You could sooner divert a river from its course than deny my nature.

~You can't shake the devil's hand and say you're only kidding.

~Didn't you have to promise, a hundred times, not to die?

~Loyalty through hardship is one thing, loyalty through cruelty is another.

~I do many things solely out of spite. This will be one of them.

~How lucky am I to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.

~Just because fiction does not contain things that are real doesn't mean it doesn't contain truth, and we find it through the alchemy of our tears.

~Real monsters don't prey on boring children. Real monsters prey on REAL monsters. As long as you don't become a monster, you have nothing to fear of monsters.

~Anything you can do I can do bleeding.

~One day you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember.

~I don't understand your specific kind of crazy, but I do admire your total commitment to it.

~Music is the sound of my soul.

~And maybe music won't hold my hand but it will cry with me, and that's maybe all I really need.

~No amount of skill will protect you from the sheer luck of a chronic dumb***.

~All I ever wanted was everything.

~Cry, baby. We need to cry.

~How can I tell you the truth when I don't know which version you want to hear?

~I'm standing in the ashes of who I used to be.

~You can tell a lot about a person's character by what they laugh at.

~Just for once, I want someone to be afraid of losing me.

~You sing a song to 85,000 people, and they'll sing it back for 85,000 reasons.

~I have no super powers. I'm guessing I'm the Villain.

~Nothing feels right anymore.

~Yes it's dangerous that's why it's fun.

~I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.

~My body may be a temple, but I am the god to whom it is devoted. Do not presume to tell me how I may decorate my altar.

~So far you've survived 100% of your worst days.

~Young, dumb, and full of existential dread.

~Whatever you're doing today… Do it with the confidence of a four year old in a Batman t-shirt.

~Oh, screw beautiful. I'm brilliant.

~When life shuts a door… Open it again. It's a door. That's how they work.

~What doesn't kill you doesn't make you stronger. It just makes you sad, tired, and afraid of it ever happening again.

~If your dreams don't scare you they aren't big enough.

~Please forgive me if I don't talk at times. It's loud enough in my head.

~Many men go fishing all their lives not knowing it isn't the fish they are after.

~I am going to use science to defeat fantasy.

~A man who praises a man to his face has ulterior motives.

~You aren't that weak.

~I don't stop when I'm tired. I stop when I'm done.

~Any fool can know. The point is to understand.

~I am exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel.

~Don't practice till you get it right. Practice until you can't get it wrong.

~We are both wrong, but more importantly, you're wrong.

~Find what you love and let it kill you.

~'Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc' We gladly feast on those who would subdue us.

~Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes, that would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head, that'll freak you right out.

~I'm not a psychopath, I'm a high functioning fangirl.

~We are the daughters and granddaughters of all the witches you were never able to burn.

~You are not as simple as they want you to be.

~Embrace the total geek within you. Life is too short to be cool.

~If I die trying, then at least I tried.

~Go where you feel the most alive.

~I dream of a world where chickens can cross the street without having their motives questioned.

~"In our world, a star is a huge ball of flaming gas." "Even in your world, my son, that is not what a star is, only what it is made of."

~You can pour drinks on me. You can throw food at me. You can even spit on me. I'll just laugh that stuff off. But… Good reason or not… Nobody hurts a friend of mine!

~A man only dies when he is forgotten!

~Sometimes you have to be your own hero.

~You were born to be real. Not to be perfect.

~The devil's finest trick is to convince you he doesn't exist.

~It's fine if you fail 1000 times. As long as you succeed in the end, you win.

~I'll die with a smile. Because if you think of me someday, I'd rather you remember me smiling.

~Drunk people, children, and leggings always tell the truth.

~Damaged people are dangerous. They know how to make hell feel like home.

~I think, therefore I'm dangerous.

~Be afraid of the calmest person in the room.

~Never have I dealt with anything more difficult than my own soul.

~Normal is an illusion. What's normal to the spider is chaos to the fly.

~I am a storm within skin. It's getting windy again.

~I don't hate you. I just lost respect for you.

~I just don't care anymore.

~Rome wasn't built in a day. But it was burned in one.

~Sleep doesn't help if it's your soul that's tired.

~Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.

~I know what I bring to the table. So trust me when I say I am not afraid to eat alone.

~The fact it happened at all means more than anything.

~Do not trust people like me. I will take you to museums, and parks, and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you will finally understand why storms are named after people.

~How rare, and beautiful, it truly is, to exist.

~I'd give anything to hear you say it one more time, that the universe was made just to be seen by my eyes.

~There are ways of dying that don't end in funerals. Types of death you can't smell.

~What is grief if not love persevering.

~Anything worth doing is worth screwing up.

~Why are you full of rage? Because you are full of grief.

~The opinions of others is a powerful thing. Until you get medicated juuusstt right.

~I just vent into the void, and eventually the void echoes back 'did you bring the rent'.

~Are you going to cowboy up or just lay there and bleed?

~The good may die young, but the truly excellent get resurrected in time for future plot points.

~Remember kids, the only difference between screwing around and science is writing it down!

~Cause I'm crazy enough to think I can!

~Don't panic. I know more than I think I do.

~It's only a lie if they have a right to know.

~You don't have to believe every single thought that tumbles through your head just 'cause it sounds like you talking.

~There are only three reasons why I'll do something: Spite, the aesthetic, or God himself told me to.

~I am angered and fueled by my own crapulence.

~Would you like to be peeled like an apple or banana?

~What is sauce but slime with a purpose?

~Heroism involves kindness, dipstick.

~Your ancestors would find you incomprehensible and your descendants will despise your grave.

~Having a window seat in the clown car doesn't stop you from being a clown.

~There's a reason the cheese is free, and the mice find out too late.

~I want to live until I don't have to be strong anymore.

~There's no scientific integrity if you can't control for human desperation.

~It's not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it's about how many pages you add to the rulebook.

~The rain of your insults does not reach the umbrella of my indifference.

[jordanlahey]

Devilish (1/?)

Pairing: the lost boys x demon!reader (there isn’t an exact romance pairing just yet.)

Summary: You heard that Max and his boys were killed by amateur hunters but you knew that wasn’t true. However there is now word that others are coming to claim their territory whether they are alive or not.

Word count: 1859

A/n: I’m no good at the summary cause i just had an idea and wanted to start writing so forgive me if it drags on a little longer than it’s supposed to but I have a general idea on what I’m wanting!

It's not long after the sun goes down that the monsters come out to play but not the monsters that your parents tell you about in stories like the big bad wolf or big foot. No, the ones that feed off human blood if you unfortunately catch their eye, the ones that cower in the dark during the day but they forget the other kind of monster that looks seductive to the eye with their lips dripping with sin ready for another taste, The monster that's as old as time itself, one that feeds off sins and the lust for souls of the poor and unfortunate. No one is ever warned about making deals with the devil, they don't believe in all that stuff but they'll believe in fairytales. Humans. Poor pathetic people.

You hadn't been to the surface in so long maybe around 86 years? You had heard that a certain coven of vampires have been eliminated but that was hardly likely, you tend hear a lot when you're down below. It was boring down there surprisingly, you all had a job to do you got the job of collecting souls but even then it takes 5 years or more for you to collect them. If you were lucky a certain demon would let you collect some souls on their behalf which is exactly why you are here anyway. Making your way through the boardwalk you can point out all they needy ones ready to make deals, you walk past a certain video store first not that you had any interest in buying or looking more likely the person who had owned it.

You strolled into the store looking around until you spotted who you were looking for. Max smiles at the customer as he bid them farewell, his smile dropped when he saw you walk to his counter.  "I didn't expect to see you so soon."

"Oh don't be like that Maxy." You pouted and leaned against the counter "I'm here on business not for you yet." You smirked but he kept his stoic expression causing you to sigh. "I heard you and your boys were no longer...undead shall we say?"

"You should know that we can play a lot of mind tricks on people Y/n." Max narrowed his eyes, he was no fun.

"I thought as much, how are the Emerson's?" You could tell that comment struck a nerve, you knew after they whole fiasco that Lucy drove herself and her sons elsewhere. "but while I'm here I might as well warn you, others think you are dead and will try claim your territory." You picked up a lollipop from the bowl and unwrapped it, Max just looked at you unbothered. You really weren't getting much out of him. "Come on Max, why do you not like me anymore? Long ago you considered me a daughter to you. What changed?"

"You changed Y/n." You rolled your eyes, course you changed that's what happens when you giver in to your instincts. Even if you could change you still wouldn't be the same.

"You of all people should know what giving into temptation is like." With that you left, you weren't gonna argue with him, you had people to see, your night was already planned: find the ones who's time is up, go make more deals, have a little fun messing around. Very, very busy. Max will come around when he wants to know about he's coming to make Santa Carla theirs, you also wouldn't mind getting your hands a little dirty.

Motorbikes roared as they speed down the walk ways and people screeching to get out the way, the bikes came to a stop and off came the four boys. The night was young and so were they, beautiful as they come but deadly as they are. They were also on the prowl for a meal as well as for to cause chaos around the boardwalk, as per usual the boys would head to the carousel for the start of their long night, this time the Surfer Nazi's know to steer clear of the lost boys they won't be their target tonight. However, after they leave the ride they all catch sight of a girl they've never seen before leave the video store, she looked good enough to eat and the boys would be happy enough to pass her around.

You made your way through the crowds to the bar where a man sat all by his lonesome, he fidgeted nervously his this hands and kept taking long gulps of his drink. It was obvious that this was the man you were looking for, walking slowly towards the table you joined him and a smile played on your lips as you batted your eyelashes at him in a seductive manner.

"You must be her? I got told that it would be someone different." Oh, so they hand out memos now? How mundane, the man dabbed a tissue on his forehead a few times before taking one more long swig of this drink. "I have a favour to ask." You chuckled at him, who is this man? Does he not know basic deal rules?

"A favour? And what might that be?" You looked over at the bartender and you silently asked for a drink, the man before you fiddled with his tie before clearing his throat as he tried to muster u[ the courage to spit out whatever he wanted to ask. People rarely ask for second chances from a demon, the ones that know better and are ready to face the consequences of their actions. Humans get 5 years with whatever their deal was however, depending on said deal and how easily you can persuade the demon before you, you can be given more than 5 years but only on the day of the meeting and NEVER after the deal has been made.

"I.." Your drink arrived and you swirled the straw around the glass waiting to hear this favour, resting your head on the palm of your hand. You lift the drink to your lips before he blurts out what he wants "I would like to make another deal!" You almost choked on your drink, this guy actually asked you for a new deal? That's the favour? How rich.

"Tell me something, haven't you heard about the rule 'no wishing for more wishes' in the presence of a genie? This is the same thing you cant ask a demon for a new deal when your time is already up my friend." You smiled darkly at him, however he is brave enough to ask but it was the dumbest question in your opinion.

"Wait! I can get you more souls! Err...my wife's, a colleague, my brothers! Any that you want!" You rolled your eyes, humans really are cruel. They'll do anything to get what they want. Greedy, selfish bastards, you look forward to sending this one to Hell he'll go straight to the fourth circle. You get up to leave knowing he's going to follow you whether he wants to or not, probably best to head down the alleyway to avoid more mundane eyes for this. "Wait! Where are we going? I want 5 more years! I'm not ready to go just yet." When you reach the bottom of the alleyway you pin the poor man up against the wall, your face now showing the anger you held back.

"Who do you think you are demanding 5 more years!? You don't get to ask for more with no soul. You belong to me now, your soul is mine for eternity. You never made a Deal with the devil if you are not prepared to pay the price." With that you snapped your fingers and the man was no longer there, nothing but a small piece of glowing blue light that flowed into your body. That's what a human soul had looked like.

David and his boys had split up trying to look for the girl they had seen leaving the video store, they lost her in the crowd and she didn't have a scent or at least they didn't get close enough to get one from her. David was starting to get annoyed was gonna give up and find his brothers until Dwayne had sent him a telepathic message that he had found her heading into woods, David chuckled and met up with all of them by the bikes and off they went.

You knew you were being followed, they were going to catch up in no time so why not have a little fun? You started running, slow enough for them to still see you. You were taunting them making this a game of cat and mouse, now tonight was starting to get interesting they were Max's boys definitely but he didn't set them on you no no, they are hungry and you will be their meal for the night or so they thought. You take a sharp turn away from the dirt path to go further into the woods so that they pull have to abandon their bikes and go on foot or fly if they must, if this was going to be a game might as well make it as fair as possible. The boys do as you planned they go on foot running faster to the point they were already catching up, you could hear Paul;s taunts he was the closest behind you, now if you played this out right you could lose them just a little further.

The boys skid and come to a stop, you had vanished from their sights and they had lost your scent again, Marko and Paul growled in frustration while David and Dwayne were trying to figure out how you out ran them, now you knew about them but they knew nothing about you and that's what made it so fun. It you were still there with them watching them as they circled the spot you left them in, you planned to stay at watch them a little longer but you couldn't wait any longer.

"Yoo hoo up here boys." All them them turned to look at you siting on a tree branch. "Looking for me?" You smirked down at them.

"Hey pretty lady, why don't you come down here and do this the easy way." The glam rocker known as Paul called up to you, you thought about it for a moment and you know Paul would be the most fun one to play around with. You shrugged your shoulders and got off the brunch but as son as you got down David already had his hand around your throat and against the tree you were just in, it shocked you but you chuckled bitterly.

"What the hell do you think you're playing at." He sneered however he has a slight smirk on his face too.

"You must be David no doubt." You looked at the others "Marko, Dwayne and Paul." You pointed to the boys as you said their names.

"How do you know that?"

"I know everything." You reply.

[aquarianlights]

I am in a serious financial bind. 😥 If anyone is in a position to listen & help or signal boost, pls keep reading...

This is from my apartment complex. I am in low-income housing. I called them & sent them proof I could pay on the 23rd. I told them I could (just barely) put 100 down now & they said that was too little.

They said they would file for eviction on the 16th, which adds $150 to my rent. They will cancel the court date and eviction on the 23rd when I pay.

But that doesn't cancel the $150 filing fee.

Idk where that $150 would come from. Idky they think it's fair that someone who cannot pay should be forced to pay even more??? That makes no sense. I can only just barely afford my rent every month as is.

These are from my energy company. I apparently owe them over $600. I genuinely do not know how this happened. We were on the phone for a very long time trying to figure it out & I was in tears for the latter portion of it because I swear I paid.

I usually keep record of my payments via taking a picture of my receipt since they are electronic, but my dog chewed up my phone (which I have pics of if need be for evidence) and broke it, so I had to get a replacement phone sent to me from the insurance company & nothing transferred from the old phone, so all my pics were wiped.

I found no record in my emails, either.

The meds I am taking to try to go into remission and the autoimmune disease itself both cause brain fog and issues with time warping, so it is possible maybe I skipped a month or something, but I highly doubt I would have skipped up to 600+ dollars worth of payments.

I have tons of electronic and hard copy calendars & they are all synced and constantly updated so that I know when payments are due. I also have text and email reminders sent to me, but I could find no reminders in my email for MONTHS now until they were telling me they were going to shut my power off if I didn't pay this. Idk why I was not sent reminders for months???

In the end, I agreed to set up a payment plan. Paying, like... 50-60ish on top of whatever my electric bill is every month for 12 months. It was the lowest they could go.

I can barely afford my electric bill as it is, so idk how I will be able to do this? They did give me a list of charities in my area so I will be using what little energy I have to call around & see if any of them would be willing to help me pay this. Idk how those work (they're mostly churches???), so I'm just gonna try & see what happens. 🤔

On top of all that, I *think* this is telling me my Medicaid has been cancelled but I'm not 100% sure?????

I'm going through treatment for a very serious, disabling problem that should last ~1 year and rn Medicaid is picking up what my Medicare doesn't cover and some of my doctors/specialists and treatments are medicaid only.

If I lose this, I'm basically done.

I know they'll do backpay if I get it back, but Idk if I *will* get it back. I'll be trying to get it back, but in the meantime, I guess I'll just have to pay out of pocket, idk??? Which I do not have.

I have lost almost ALL autonomy due to this autoimmune disease, which (in a very simplified form) is basically my immune cells "eating" my muscle tissue. I can barely get out of bed. Treatment should put me in remission & give me my life back. I am seeing a rheumatologist, neurologist, dermatologist, PCP, physical therapist, psychiatrist, psychologist, and going to a holistic pain treatment center that does a different kind of physical therapy to bring down pain levels (which I was put into that program by my rheum). All of these are in relation to & necessary for my disease. I am going through TONS of testing almost weekly now & trying out treatments like IVIG and chemo where I am in the hospital hooked up to an IV for 4-6+ hrs of that day and the cost of those things without Medicaid picking up what Medicare doesn't cover is astronomical. I have to sign waivers every time I get my blood drawn (which is almost weekly now), do tests, and do treatments saying I will pay if Medicaid does not pick up the extra.

I already have crippling medical debt; I don't need more. I'm scared they won't let me do any more tests or treatments if they see I am just letting it all go to collections & am not paying.

This could mean the difference between having a life worth living (to me) where I am happy & thriving & autonomous or being bed-bound & living a life of just existing from day to day & miserable & in pain & suffering & unable to do anything for myself. This is literally life and death for me because I wouldn't be able to handle continuing to live in the latter scenario. I cannot handle living like I am now. Knowing my treatments are progressing is what keeps me going. Knowing I can go into remission is what keeps me going. Knowing my future is one completely different from now is what keeps me going. But if I cannot have that and am destined to live in this current state, it's just not worth it. I don't know a person alive who would want to live like this.

Finally, my anger noodle needs to get to the vet for MULTIPLE things. Nothing is, like... life threatening or super immediate like his cancer was last year, but they're things that need to be addressed in terms of preventative care & to make sure he isn't in pain.

He needs his trachea checked, possibly x-rays for that, maybe more...

He needs some medication updates, needs a physical, needs a full groom & nail clip under anesthesia (for those who are not familiar with Echo, he has extreme fear-based aggression & usually gets this done under anesthesia; since I worked with him so much, he had his first non-anesthesia nail clip at the beginning of quarantine, but he has gotten worse during quarantine & with my muscle eating disease, I can no longer restrain him & don't have the physical strength to run a brush through his thicker fur as his winter coat is in, so I can no longer groom certain areas of him at home, so his tummy & back legs are matted & I fear he may need to be shaved... which breaks my heart since you don't shave double coat dogs unless medically necessary.), he needs a full physical, & needs to be checked over for MCT's.

He may also need a fecal test or something else, as he has been having odd bowel movements. 😥 His tummy has been upset lately.

I have been crying myself to sleep every single night & often during the day because I cannot get him to the vet. No, it isn't urgent or life threatening. But he is reverse sneezing more than normal & I worry about tracheal collapse, which is a common small dog thing & even MORE common in pomeranians specifically. Every time he has a fit, I think "Oh god, this is it. This is the time I'm gonna have to rush him to the e-vet & get slammed with a huge bill & he is not gonna be okay..."

It breaks my heart to see his legs & belly matted. He is horrible about letting me groom him coz of his aggression so he only gets a full grooms at the vet, but I do short grooming sessions at home with him nightly. Takes about 2 hours just to do the majority of one side of him (not even all of it; just most) coz he needs breaks & lots of praise every few strokes or he will tear me to shreds & hurt himself snapping on the undercoat rake. 😥

But now that my autoimmune disease has atrophied my muscles to the point holding up my phone without something to prop it up feels like I am lifting weights & tires my arms out with a lactic acid burn & pain, I can no longer groom him with the patience he needs & can only groom in 20 minute intervals at the VERY longest. By the time I have gotten one leg done during the week, his entire other side is matted. 😞 Matting on dogs---especially double coat dogs---hurts them. It's like if someone were to wrap your hair around their fingers & then pull it taut. It's a constant pulling pressure on their skin... it's painful & irritates the epidermis. I feel miserable feeling the matting on his back legs & tummy & now feeling the mats beginning to form on the rest of him. He hates me working them out, even with the detangling spray. I know it must hurt so much...

So he may need to be shaved at this point & that will destroy me. I feel sick thinking about it. But anything to get him out of pain. Maybe it is what's best for him while I go through this year of treatment & get my muscles back. But in order to do that, I need to get him to the vet.

The stress of not being able to get him to a vet is tearing me apart & literally making me physically ill.

He is my world. My everything. My #1. My heart dog. My priority in life. My entire universe revolves around him. I would do anything for him. Not a single person, animal, thing, etc, comes before him. It is KILLING me that I cannot provide proper care for him right now. I always always always make sure to sacrifice for him if need be & his things ALWAYS come first, even if it means I'm not eating or not paying bills or whatever. As long as he is taken care of & his needs & wants are met, nothing else matters to me. And right now........ I feel he is suffering because of my finances & the fact my treatment with building my muscles up is not going fast enough.

I cannot control the latter one, but the first one is something I can at least ask for help for. So that is what I am doing.

If anyone is in a place to help, these are my venmo & cashapp codes. I also have paypal.

💙 Venmo: @kqroswell

💚 Cashapp: $kqroswell

💜 Paypal: @kqroswell or thekilliancode@yahoo.com

If there is another form of payment you're thinking of, lemme know. I also have fb pay activated if you have me on FB (Killian Q Roswell).

Thank you to everyone who read through this & anyone who can help or reblog this. 💖

Sincerely,

Your v scared, struggling transman who really wants his bills/rent paid & his dog to go to the vet,

Killian 💞

[fitzs-trained-monkey]

Chapter Seven: Way Down To Wonderland

(Image not mine)

Rated: PG

~Hey Alice, is it greener here Or does it seem like dirt? Does it feel the same, can you say that you Are happy to be home?

The rabbit seems to call your name You're late, so it's time to move Oh Alice, you know it's your fate Tick, tock. No time to lose

Hey Alice, time is running short This can't take too long Make a choice now. On which side of the door Do you feel you belong?~

Did I know it was a bad idea?

Yes. Yes, I did.

Did I do it anyway?

Yup.

Was I going to regret it?

Yeah, probably.

Did that thought stop me?

Absolutely not.

I was going with Jack. I was going to leave that freezing nothing-in-nowhere place behind me and I was going to be free. With the Winchesters protecting me, I would never have to be afraid of anything ever again.

At least until they found out the truth. But I could keep them fooled for long enough, right? I mean, Jack seemed to like me. I wasn't sure in what way exactly, but he did seem to like me. That was something wasn't it? It had to be.

Me and Jack just sat and talked while Sam and Dean burned the bones and covered the body back up. The only reason I knew the body was there was because I had found this place three years ago, though as to the corpse's identity I had no clue. I was just making crap up.

When the job was finally done it was around midnight and the hunters wanted to go back to their motel. They also wanted me to come with them.

"But where would you sleep?" I argued.

"Oh, I don't sleep that much." Jack simply shrugged. I chewed on my lip, for every excuse I could come up with, Jack had a solution.

"Look Jack, I've spent a long time here and I've got, like, this 'secret hideout' where I always sleep- er, slept, and I just wanna go back there, collect my stuff and say goodbye, ya’ know? I'll meet you outside your motel bright and early tomorrow morning. Alright?" Maybe the slight truth would work where excuses had failed miserably. Jack sighed.

"You promise you'll come?" He asked.

"Cross my heart," I said, doing the motion.

"Good cause' if you don't show, Cas will know where you went," Sam said, his voice was friendly but it sounded like a threat. I guessed he was suspicious. Sam got in the car.

"That is true," Castiel said, following him. Yeah, they were both suspicious of me.

"Oh. Uh, nice." There went all hopes of running away from this. "Well where are you guys staying? Just so I know where to go," I asked.

"It’s called North Sea Motel, or something like that." Jack paused for a moment. "Uh, I think." I smiled with a shake of my head.

"I think you mean North Port Motel," I corrected him. Jack smiled.

"Yeah, that one!"

"Okay, well, I'll see ya there!" I started to dismount from where I sat, perched in a different tree, but Dean's voice stopped me.

"Say, where is this little ' secret hideout' of yours? We could drive you, just tell us where. Then you could get your stuff and come to the motel with us, you might even get a good night's sleep," Dean offered. I turned him down with a shake of my head.

"Nah, you boys get some sleep. Besides, if I told you where it was, it wouldn't be my 'secret hideout' now would it? Also, it’s not exactly accessible by car anyway, but don't worry, it’s not far." That was a lie. It was all the way across town, but I might need to use it to hide from these guys one day so telling them the location wouldn't be smart.

"Alright well, see ya’ tomorrow, kid." Dean climbed into his car and revved the engine, waiting for Jack before driving off.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow!" Jack smiled at me. His smile was sort of strange as his mouth curved up on one side and down on the other at the same time. I liked it.

"See ya’ tomorrow Jack-Jack." I winked at him from where I sat, perched in a different tree. Then in the blink of an eye, Jack was beside me, pulling me in for a hug. I was surprised but hugged him back. I took a deep, breath through my nose.

'Holy zoodles, you smell amazing!' I thought to myself. For a split second the thought entered my mind. For a split second I considered what it might be like.

But that wasn't going to win out.

I pulled away from the hug and Jack smiled his crooked smile and he disappeared, and I waved as the Black Impala drove off. I sighed.

"Whatever you're gonna say, you can go ahead and say it!" I said to the air.

No reply.

No Isaac.

Nothing.

"Ugh! You're so dramatic! If you wanna talk then talk, ya friggn' weirdo!" I shouted to no one.

Isaac still didn't appear. I hopped off my branch and began to sprint through the snowy woods at top speed. Mocking all the way.

"Oh I'm Isaac and I'm so superior to everyone and I'm a stinkin' drama queen who has to be all cryptic about my USELESS OPINIONS!"

I shouted the last bit before climbing the rope into the tree house. I had made it in under five minutes. When I hauled my sorry butt inside the tree house, Isaac stood there, waiting. He had his arms crossed and his shoulders square and his face was a mask of barely controlled rage. I copied his stance and stared back at him. He remained silent. I could only do it for so long.

"What?" I asked, giving in. Apparently that question was all it took for Isaac to explode.

"DO YOU THINK THIS IS A FRIKIN' GAME?!" He shouted. I couldn't help but stumble back a few paces. Isaac never yelled, not at me. Isaac yelled at everyone else, but never, ever, me. I blinked a few times, trying to discourage the tears.

"N-no! I-I-I just-"

"DO YOU HAVE A DEATH WISH?!"

"NO! But I-"

"REALLY? BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE! BECAUSE THAT'S HOW YOU'RE ACTING! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!" Isaac took a menacing step, and it took a lot of will to stand my ground.

"I don't know! I wasn't-"

"THAT'S RIGHT! YOU WERN'T!" I looked away, blinking furiously to dispel my tears. Isaac sucked in a breath, trying to calm himself.

"I was just trying to save our butts! I didn't think they would take it like that and try to adopt me on the spot!"

"Why didn't you just say no?!"

"Because that would have looked suspicious!"

"Then just run! They'll move on without you! They'll keep going with their lives! They don't care about you!" Isaac insisted. His words hurt. Why? Why did they hurt?!

"That's not true! They said they'd search for me!" I tried, but it was a weak response, and I knew it. Isaac laughed, it was bitter and without humor.

"What? Is it that Half-Angel freak?" He snorted. I lowered my head.

"He's not a freak," I mumbled.

"Sorry, could you say that a little louder? I couldn't hear you over all your stupidity!" Isaac sneered. My head snapped up and my teeth and fists clenched.

"Jack. Is. Not. A. Freak!" I growled. Isaac's eyebrows shot up.

"Wait, you don't- No. No, you're not really-" I knew what he was asking, and I simply glared at him.

"What?"

"Do you like him?" Isaac asked, disgust prevalent in his tone. I looked at the floor, grinding my teeth.

"No."

"OH COME ON! REALLY MARTY? YOU GOT A CRUSH ON THAT FREAK-A-ZOID!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?" Isaac roared, "HE'S A FRIGGIN' TWO-YEAR-OLD FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" I couldn't take it anymore.

"SHUT UP ISAAC!!!" I screeched, my pitch rising with my anger. I took a deep breath and stared him in his cold, dead eyes. "If Jack is a freak then so am I!"

"No, you are what you are. That kid, if you can even call him that, is trying to be two things at once! He's more powerful then the actual angel! Couldn't you feel it? That thing could probably kill you without even trying!" I rolled my eyes, my fists clenching tighter. I could feel my nails cutting into my hands, but I didn't care.

"Jack wouldn't hurt me. He's not like other hunters, Isaac! He's not doing this out of hate!" I insisted. Isaac's face twisted into a snarl. He walked over and looked down on me.

"And when he finds out that you've been lying? What do you think he'll do then? What do you think they'll all do? Do you think they'll just shower you with hugs?" He questioned, mockingly.

"No."

"They'll never except you. Once they find out the truth, and they will find out, they'll never love you. You know why?"

"Stop." I ground out through clenched teeth.

"Because they are not your family, Marty. They never will be," Isaac hissed.

"I don't need them to be. Besides, I can always talk them into it." Isaac stepped away now and started pacing the floor of our hideout.

"But you won't. You know why? Because it will never be real. That's what you want, isn't it?" He jeered.

"I just want to be safe! I don't wanna run anymore!" I protested, even though he was right. Isaac shook his finger at me.

"No, you want it to be real. You want it so desperately, don't you? That's what this is all about, isn't it? Deep down it's all about Jack, and you know it."

"You don't know what you're talking about, Isaac," I seethed. He turned to me with a quizzical yet mocking expression.

"This little crush you have on the hybrid freak, do you really think you have a chance?" Isaac flicked his finger against my skull. "I know you're all grown up in there, but out here you're still fourteen! And you heard it right out of his mouth, he may be grown up on the outside but he's still only two-years-old! I don't care which side you look at it from, that's pedophilia either way!" I wished I could punch Isaac in the face, much more than I usually did.

"It's not like that! You can't stop me Isaac! This isn't your decision to make!" I shouted at him.

"I'm not letting you go with them. If that means murdering all of them in their beds, then so be it! I'm not going to let them hurt you!" Isaac barked.

"What is wrong with you?! This is my decision! Why do you keep trying to control my life?!" I demanded.

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO WATCH MY SISTER DIE!"

I blinked. I couldn't speak. What could I even say? We stood across from each other, the anger draining away into heartbreak.

"I just want a friend, Isaac. Is that really so wrong of me?" I demanded in a whisper. A rain of emotion was beginning to sizzle out the fire of my fury. My spectral companion stopped in his tracks.

"A friend? What am I, chopped-liver?" Isaac asked, sarcastically. Though his tone was mordant, I could sense the hurt that sapped through.

"Isaac, that's not what I meant," I tried to back-track, but it was useless. Isaac's lip curled and his eyes narrowed.

"I've spent five years stuck in the veil, not being able to talk or be seen by anybody but you. All of that just so your sorry ass wouldn't be so friggin' lonely! I put off going to heaven and this is what I get for it?! What? Am I suddenly not good enough for you anymore? Is that it?!" He spat.

"Of course not, Isaac! You're my brother! You're my best friend and you always will be!" My voice came as a stressed whisper as I strived to explain, "It's just that-"

"That what? What makes him better than me? What makes any of them better than me?! What does that Nephilim freak have that I don't, huh?" He challenged, his voice like burning acid. I couldn't take it anymore.

"YOU'RE DEAD, ISAAC!!!" I screamed, tears gushing down my face like salt-water rivers. I couldn't stop them. "YOU'RE DEAD AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT!" Isaac blinked, speechless. "Mom and Dad and Jackie and Bree and Jazz; they're gone! They're all gone and it's all my fault!"

"Marty-"

"No, Isaac! You're gone and I can't have you back, not for real. I can't high-five you when we laugh, I can't punch your shoulder when you're annoying me, and when I'm upset you can't wrap your arm's around me and hold me until the tears run dry! You can't do that, and I don't blame you, but you can't!" I took a deep breath and looked at the rough wooden floorboards as I tried to mop up my tear-stained cheeks, but it didn't work. All the sadness from the last five years was escaping now.

"I don't-" Isaac started but I wasn't finished just yet.

"I need someone who can do that, Isaac. It's been exactly five years, eleven months, and twenty-two days since somebody hugged me! I didn't realize how much I needed it until now, and I don't think I can go on like this any longer! Isaac, I am all alone," I lamented.

"You have me, Marty," He whispered. I hadn't realized that ghosts could get choked up.

"Isaac, you're not really here," I whispered, painfully. "I know you're all I have; but I don't have you, not really. I don't want you to go, but every single day, this figment of you reminds me that you're never coming back," I sniffed, still trying to keep it under control, but the look in Isaac's eyes made that impossible.

"Oh, Marty... I-I'm sorry." I rubbed at my eyes, wishing once again that I could lay my head on his shoulder and just cry like I wanted to, but I couldn't.

"I just want you back!" I sobbed, my ragged breaths scraping at my dry, tender throat. Isaac reached out but his arms passed right through me, just like always. I looked to him in despair before moving to sit on the mattress. "Why did you have to die?" I whispered.

"I don't know."

"Just let me go with them, Isaac. I can't do this anymore."

"If you're going then I'm coming with you. Through thick and thin, remember?"

"Through thick and thin," I agreed. Isaac smiled at me weakly.

"Well, get your stuff together, we're goin' on an adventure," He said. I nodded and strode over to the backpack in the corner. Reaching to the very bottom of the bag, I grabbed hold of the two objects I hated the most.

Two bags filled with a pint each of human blood. The label bore the name: Aspirus Keweenaw Hospital. It was the only hospital anywhere near Copper Harbor, though it was more than twenty miles away. It was a long way to go by foot but now I would never need to go again. I just hoped that wherever these hunters lived there was a hospital nearby. I weighed the bags in my hands and considered the possibility of smuggling them past the hunters. The odds were pretty bad.

"Just wondering, how do you plan to keep this a secret while under the watch of four hunters?" Isaac asked from behind me. I inhaled deeply before turning back to him.

"No idea! But as for right now―" I ripped open a small hole in one of the bags and raised it into the air the way you would raise a toast― "Drink up me hearties, yo ho!"

I think you can figure out what I did after that.

-2 hours and 56 minutes later-

I finished packing all of my belongings into my backpack and a few extra things I stuffed in my violin case. Then, I saluted the now abandoned tree house farewell and tromped off through the snow to say goodbye to the one person in this town that I actually considered a friend.

The bell dinged as I pushed open the door to the pharmacy. I smiled at the shapeshifter behind the counter and waved. Dan-the-Dope-Man, regardless of anyone's opinion about his behavior, was the closest thing to a friend as I had made in these past five years. He may not have been the best person, but I owed him a lot and now this was the only way I could repay him.

"Marty! I thought you died! When I watched you go with those hunters, I didn't know what to do! Are you okay?" There was no one else in the store, so the man with the face of a forty-year-old hopped over the counter and rushed over to me, enveloping me in a hug. In this form, he didn't have his Brooklyn accent.

"I'm fine, Danny but, uh, I gotta tell you something." Dan released me and held me at arm’s length.

"What? What's wrong?" He worried.

"Nothing's wrong," I told him, shaking my head, "But I'm leaving."

"What? Why?" Dan exclaimed.

"Those hunters, they asked me to come with them, they said they're gonna protect me." Dan's brows pulled together and he looked at me with concern.

"Marty, they're hunters. Protecting things like us, vampires and shapeshifters, isn't exactly what they do!”

"They don't know what I am, and I plan to keep it that way. But these guys, they're different. They're gonna protect me, and maybe they'll help me find Felix!" I said, gently.

"That's a dangerous game."

"Let's hope I'm good at it."

"You're really gonna do this?"

"Yeah." Dan sighed.

"Well in that case, I'm gonna miss ya, Marty." He wrapped his arms around me, and I hugged him back.

"I'm gonna miss you too, Danny!" Apparently, my eyes hadn't rid themselves of tears completely. A few salty droplets dripped down my cheeks.

"Take care of yourself, sweetie. Remember, if you ever need a place to go, my door is always open." He said, patting my back.

"Thank you, man. For everything. I owe you a lot." I wiped my cheeks and gasped a breath as I pulled away.

"Eh, don't worry about any o' that. Stay alive, Marty. That's all the payment I want," Dan smiled.

"I can do better than that," I promised, smirking.

"Whattdya' mean?"

"If any hunter ever comes to check this place out again, I'm gonna give you a head's up. Sound good?" Dan grinned.

"Sounds great, Marty." He hugged me again and when he pulled away, he had an idea.

"Before you go, here, take these," He said, grabbing several items from different shelves and stuffing them in a bag which he gave to me. I peeked into the bag, inside were several boxes of chocolate truffles, four Hershey's bars, and one of those little solar powered flowers that waves when you place it in the sun. "It's not much, but it’s something to remember me by."

"I'll savor every chocolate, Dan. I'm gonna miss ya, have an awesome life buddy!" I waved as I pushed my way out the door, "I hope you get your daughter back!"

"Thank you, Marty! Take care of yourself! I hope things get better for you!" Dan waved back and I left the pharmacy behind, muttering to myself as I walked down the street to the motel.

"I hope things get better too."

~Hey Alice, do you want to play? The Queen's great (or so it's been said) Hey Alice, can you play croquet? If you're good, you can keep your head

Hey Alice, are you here or there Or somewhere in between? Hey Alice, would you ever dare To go back through where you've been?

Hey Alice, time is running short This can't take too long Make a choice now. On which side of the door Do you feel you belong?~

Lyrics from: Hey Alice by Rachel Rose Mitchell

[assortedrpmemes]

Disney Lyric Starters

[ Classic, modern, golden days, you name it, i got it. Feel free to change pronouns etc. Also this is a looong post]:

"Some day, my prince will come."

"Some day, we'll meet again."

"Some day when spring is here, we'll find our love anew."

"And soon you'll find you're dancing to the tune."

"There isn't any let up. I hear them calling, calling."

"Every time she/he'd find a minute, that's the time that they begin it."

"They always keep her/him hopping."

"She/He goes around in circles till she/he's very, very dizzy."

"They have stars in their eyes."

"Side by side with your loved one, you'll find enchantment here."

"The night will weave its magic spell when the one you love is near."

"This is the night, and the heavens are right."

"Look at this stuff, isn't it neat?"

"Wouldn't you think my collection's complete?"

"How many wonders can one cavern hold?"

"I want to be where the people are."

"I want to see, want to see 'em dancing."

"Flipping your fins, you don't get too far."

"What would I pay to spend a day warm on the sand?"

"Sick of swimming. Ready to stand."

"And I'm ready to know what the people know."

"When's it my turn?"

"I can see what's happening, and they don't have a clue."

"With all this romantic atmosphere, disaster's in the air."

"She'd turn away from me."

"He's holding back. He's hiding."

"Why won't he be the king I know he is, the king I see inside?"

"Love is where they are."

"If there's a prize for rotten judgement, I guess I've already won that."

"No man is worth the aggravation."

"Honey, we can see right through you."

"It's too cliche. I won't say I'm in love."

"I thought my heart had learned its lesson."

"You keep on denying who you are and how you're feeling."

"Get off my case. I won't say it!"

"I steal only what I can't afford."

"These guys don't appreciate I'm broke."

"I can take a hint, gotta face the facts. You're my only friend."

"I'd blame parents except he hasn't got 'em."

"Tell you all about it when I got the time!"

"I think I'll take a stroll around the block."

"Let's not be too hasty."

"They're quick, but I'm much faster."

"Barely even friends, then somebody bends unexpectedly."

"Both a little scared, neither one prepared."

"Finding you can change, learning you were wrong."

"Certain as the sun rising in the east."

"There's something sweet and almost kind."

"I wonder why I didn't see it there before."

"Who'd have ever thought that this could be?"

"True he's no "Prince Charming"..."

"Who'd have guessed they'd come together on their own?"

"We'll wait and see a few days more."

"What I love most about rivers is you can't step in the same river twice."

"To be safe, we lose our chance of knowing."

"Can I ignore that sound of distant drumming?"

"Is all my dreaming at an end?"

"For a long time we've been marching off to battle."

"Our aching feet aren't easy to ignore."

"Think of instead, a girl worth fighting for."

"I want her paler than the moon with eyes that shine like stars."

"It all depends on what she cooks like."

"Bet the local girls thought you were quite the charmer."

"Yet the only girl who'd love him is his mother."

"Whatever you do, I'll do it, too."

"Show me everything, and tell me how."

"It all means something, yet nothing to me."

"It's all so close, and yet so far."

"I wanna know. Can you show me?"

"I wanna know about these strangers like me."

"Why do I have this growing need to be beside her?"

"Come with me now to see my world."

"Don't you disrespect me, little man!"

"You're in my world now, not your world."

"And I got friends on the other side."

"Sit down on my table, put your minds at ease."

"I can read your future. I can change it around some, too."

"You come from two long lines of royalty."

"I'm a royal myself on my mother's side."

"Your lifestyle's high, but your funds are low."

"Mom and dad cut you off, huh, playboy?"

"You've been pushed around all your life."

"Won't you shake the poor sinner's hand?"

"I hope you're satisfied, but if you ain't, don't blame me!"

"All that time never even knowing just how blind I've been."

"At last I see the light, and it's like the fog has lifted."

"If she/he's here, it's crystal clear I'm where I'm meant to go."

"All at once everything is different now that I see you."

"Come on, let's go and play!"

"I never see you anymore."

"We used to be best buddies, and now we're not."

"I've started talking to the pictures on the walls."

"It gets a little lonely, all these empty rooms."

"People are asking where you've been."

"They say "Have courage," and I'm trying to."

"We only have each other."

"It's just you and me. What are we gonna do?"

"Okay, can I just say something crazy?"

"I love crazy."

"I've been searching my whole life to find my own place."

"I've never met someone who thinks so much like me."

"Say goodbye to the pain of the past."

"We don't have to feel it anymore."

"Can I say something even crazier?"

"I've been staring at the edge of the water for as long as I can remember."

"Every road leads back to the place I know where I cannot go."

"It calls me, and no one knows how far it goes."

"I can lead with pride. I can make us strong."

"I'll be satisfied if I play along."

"What is wrong with me?"

"But no one knows how deep it goes."

"If the wind on my sail on the sea stays behind me, one day I'll know how far I'll go."

"Now I know I can be happy as a clam because I'm beautiful, baby."

"Scrub the deck and make it look shiny."

"I just love free food."

"Ouch! What a terrible performance!"

"You don't swing it like you used to, man."

"Send your armies, but they'll never be enough."

"You try to be tough, but your armor's just not hard enough."