#But that logic isn't good enough for many
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I haven't said as much about electoral politics this year as I have in previous cycles, because I am exhausted like everyone else and have nothing new or helpful to add. That is still true, so caveat lector I guess lmao!!! Happy American Election Day Fellow Sufferers!!
I have been experiencing an internal backlash the last few years to my extremely Sorkinpilled D.C. private school upbringing -- my childhood spent as a kind of convent schoolgirl in the faith of The System Is Good If We All Participate, which of course has a uhhh let's say generously a minimal engagement with the ways in which many of us are by design shut out of participating. I don't think idealism is necessarily childish, but I think MY idealism certainly has childish qualities, an undergirding of 90s feel-goodism, of civic participation as a subtle ego stroke and of voting -- although I would never have consciously put it this way -- as a way to feel superior to people who don't vote.
Lately there has bubbled up in me a sludgy, adolescent fury at this whole stupid country that has made it very very hard to feel like I should do even the bare minimum. For these people? AMERICANS? The ones that not only want Donald Trump to be president but saw what happened the first time and were like, We love this, do it again but worse? Whatever, fuckos. "I hope you people get your dearest wish and it chews you to death slowly," I may have thought.
I have also thought: why is it so controversial to ask elected officials to stop funding a genocide? Why are we treating people who make that ask, who are watching the current administration directly fund death on a mass scale and objecting to that choice, as if they are being babies and just need to get over it? How are they supposed to get over it? Why is anybody over it?
Anyway all this means that I, a known chipper door-knocker and caller of congresspeople, have been pretty low-key this current cycle. I think that is OK. I don't want to make this a big dramatic confessional about how I didn't write enough postcards or whatever. We all get exhausted and this was my turn.
But it has also been an illuminating cycle in that it's made it clear to me how much at my big age I still want politics to make me feel good, and when they don't, I still have the urge to throw a lil tantrum about it! I can get very superior and intellectual about how right-wing operatives manipulate their voters emotionally WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING that I too have been manipulated, in my case into the feeling that nonparticipation is a kind of revolutionary act.* Just absolute "I threw it on the GROUND" logic happening inside my head. "Maybe if I don't vote I will be doing Quiet Quitting, which is uhhhhh anticapitalist." I'm not a part of your system!!!
Anyway, I am trying to have self-compassion about it, and one way for me to do that is to project my internal experience onto a theoretical reader. That would be you, my imaginary friend who clicked on this post for some reason even though you have already decided not to vote! I just want to tell you that I am more sympathetic to your point of view than I have ever been in my whole life, and I'm sorry I have historically been a glib, holier-than-thou asshole about it in ways that may actually have made you MORE resistant to civic participation.
And you're right: it doesn't make that big a difference whether I personally vote or not, or whether you do. But if there are hundreds of us, and I think there are, then each of those people individually do starts to matter.
I guess I would humbly request that you and I both pay attention to what people who need help are actually asking for. I would ask that we both notice who wins when we abdicate this single responsibility. I would remind us both that participating in the electoral process is not some kind of weird either-or with participating in decentralized community building and mutual aid, and the best people we know do both. Isn't it interesting that somehow, insidiously, without even consciously becoming aware of this belief, we have started to think that you can only do one or the other? Who is telling us that story? Who does it serve?
Anyway. I took the stupid 90 minute round trip to my polling place which was VERY hot for some reason and I stood in the stupid line and some babies waved at me and I cast my vote for Kamala Harris and I'm glad I did it in the same way I'm glad after I do the dishes or take a stupid shower. Doing work doesn't always feel like anything. I also saw a really wonderful small black and white dog that I thought was a cat on a leash. I would not have seen that dog if I hadn't gone to vote. So politics can still make you feel good!!!
*I mean all this analysis is cute and everything BUT ALSO i did switch antidepressants twice in the last year, an astonishingly grueling process that almost made me [affect the trout population]. Could these things be related? hmmmmmmm, don't understand the question, won't respond to it.
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Well, in the hours since posting this and it's subsequent migration to reddit, I've gotten some pretty decent responses, (And a lot of people who clearly just didn't read anything I wrote, but some good!), so I'm going to go over some of my points again for the people dozing in the back of the class.
Yes, as of writing this, over 72 million Americans voted for Trump. All of them are ignorant, shortsighted, and selfish at best, and bigoted, traitorous, and just straight up evil at worst. Without those votes, no matter how badly the democratic party screwed the pooch, Trump would not have won. I do not say this to excuse those people. All of those people should be held accountable for their behavior. However, as cynical of an assumption as it may be, one can no longer view American politics through the lens of all the voters trying to elect the candidate that's the best for everyone. Such a lens is an outdated relic of an era in which the evils of politics were done behind smiling masks, and the oppression was done behind closed doors instead of at the top of every media headline in the nation. If there is one thing that this election has made crystal clear, it is that Americans have become more concerned with their own wallets and kitchen tables than with the lives of their neighbors. The problem is that even through that framing, the Democratic party should easily sweep any logical voter, and yet they didn't. Progressivism and class consciousness is the answer to economic anxiety, and yet it was completely ignored by the democrats in this election, and the price for that is what we're seeing now, because the Democrats allowed themselves to be made into the establishment, and allowed the republicans to sell themselves as anti-establishment, regardless of the fact that both are the establishment, and neither wishes to be against the establishment, merely to mold it to their liking.
The fact of the matter is, no matter how evil Trump is, he will always have support. That is his brand. He has famously self-proclaimed that he could commit murder in broad daylight and not lose a single vote, and if there is one thing Trump has ever been correct about, it's that. The Democrats must, must count on the Alt-Right turning up to vote in force for the conservative candidate, and from the numbers they've been doing, the Democrats can't rely on the moderate vote to carry them through that. Hell, it doesn't seem like the Democrats can rely on the moderate vote at all. The DNC has no further right to drift, and yet they keep trying anyway, dropping their supporters from the left to be subsumed by the right, because deep down, they are not aligned with the left. This does not necessarily apply to every registered Democrat everywhere, but the party as a whole has historically only taken up progressive causes when they either see an opportunity to claim moral victory over conservatives. They do not truly care for progressivism, or at least they haven't for many years. They put up a black woman for president and say, "See? Our candidate is two minorities in one! Isn't this what you care about?" No! I'd love to have a black woman in the white house as much as anyone else, but the democrats have fallen so out of touch that I must believe that they genuinely think that "diverse" candidates is enough to guarantee a progressive vote. They saw Obama win two consecutive terms and chalked it up to his skin color, which is absolutely it's own form of racism, by the way. They tried to test this hypothesis in 2016 in Hilary Clinton, another historically unlikable candidate, with no real progressive policy and all her messaging being about her gender and not particularly her competence of fitness for office, while simultaneously dicking over the largest progressive movement in recent history, and they got burned. And the lesson they took from this? It wasn't making sure their candidate reflects the voters wishes, it wasn't learning to message on policy and confidence as I discussed earlier, and it certainly wasn't to not alienate progressive voters. It was "We didn't reach the moderate conservative enough. Clearly, we just didn't reach the moderate wing of the republican party like we should have. Obviously, we must have won the progressive vote, so the problem lies in the center."
It's not merely the entitlement they feel to the progressive vote, it's the fact that they can't conceive of the fact that they didn't get it. Even the moderate wing of the conservative party was never going to vote for a woman, much less a black woman. Meanwhile, there were millions of votes the democrats were counting on, and yet they didn't receive, because they didn't bother actually trying to get them! They felt entitled to the progressive vote. They felt entitled to the black vote. They felt entitled to the queer vote, the Hispanic vote, the female vote, the Arab vote, the sheer entitlement in this party is sickening. The fact of the matter is that they simply can't conceive of a world in which the white moderate does not decide who sits in the Oval Office, and fundamentally, they are against any attempt to change that, because the world in which the white moderate is the deciding vote is the world in which they keep their power. The world wherein the white moderate is the deciding vote is the world wherein they must confront none of their inner biases, because if they are not receiving the votes they feel entitled to, then they must be wrong on a fundamental level. That world is comfortable and familiar to them, it plays by the rules they expect and like, it requires no reexamination, reflection, or introspection. Any acknowledgement that progressives, or POC, or the LGBT+ community are voting blocks that could win them elections if focused on is an acknowledgement that the white moderate is only the deciding vote in the tenuous world order they have constructed, and any attempt to convince Democrats that they need to enfranchise these groups, break up gerrymandered districts, or just Actually Put Some Fucking Effort Into Anyone Else is doomed to failure because of it.
Getting back to the point, yes, the fact that 72 million Americans voted for Donald J. Trump is a disgrace, and every single one of them should be held accountable for the blood that is about to be spilled. But at the end of the day, this is a trolley problem. The Democrats had the ability to avert the trolley, and they fucked that up spectacularly. The man who tied the people to the tracks and set the trolley to run over them is a monster, but his actions are counted upon either way, and so too are Trump's. This debate isn't about the ethics of Alt-Right conservatism. If you've made it this far into this essay, I can reasonably assume you already agree with me that it holds no moral merit worth consideration. It is about the fact that the Democratic party allowed this to happen, and must be held accountable for their actions. Going along with "Vote Blue No Matter Who!" is not a strategy that works. Progressives cannot call upon the party loyalty that conservatives have, in part because progressivism requires the brainpower to analyze the issues and discover the problems, while conservatives typically wait for a strongman to point at something for them to get angry at, but mostly in truth because the Democrats have not delivered like the Republicans have.
Sure, the Republicans don't deliver on a good economy, or fixing the issues they claim to care about, but what they do deliver on is what they stake their campaigns on, and it's bigotry. Say what you will, but when a conservative votes for Trump, they can be confident that Trump will continue to be racist, sexist, and anti-LGBT while in office, and he will make policy accordingly. He will lock migrant children in cages and appoint justices to overturn Roe v. Wade and tear gas progressive protesters. Those are things he said he was going to do whether directly or euphemistically, and he delivered.
Democrats say they will pack the court, and they don't. They say they will codify abortion, and by and large they don't. They talk about a $15 an hour minimum wage, they talk about Medicare and student debt relief and while some of these things have gotten done on a state by state basis, or gained a little ground here and there, walking out of a Democratic presidency, we have the same supreme court, the same minimum wage, arguably worse medical care, and only a sliver of the required student debt relief. I understand that the Biden administration has been fighting rabid obstructionists every step of the way, but at the end of the day, Trump was fighting obstruction during his presidency as well, and yet he still damaged the country to it's core, and now he has free reign of all three branches of government. After being ignored, abused, and seeing almost none of their policy passed, how could a progressive genuinely support the democrats on any systemic level? I got in the dirt to support Harris, and I do genuinely think not voting was a morally reprehensible thing for this election, because progressives should be fighting fascism more than we should care about our honor, but I can at least say I understand.
I can't do solutions yet. Maybe eventually, but right now I'm not sure there is any form of solution. The Democrats have proven themselves historically unable to learn the lessons of failure, and the Fascists have complete control of the government. Pretty much the only solution I can think of at this point is "Hope the democrats are still around in four years, hope our elections are fair enough for them to matter, and hope that maybe, finally this lesson has sunk in, but that's a lot of maybes for a country that we can only imagine right now. There's a lot of ground to lose, and nothing to defend it.
I do want to say this, though, since somebody commented on it to me. I wasn't kidding about the gun thing. If there's any irony to be had here, gun rights will likely be protected for the foreseeable future, because the gun lobby is here to stay, apparently. After Biden's term is up, I would not expect the already limited protections Leftists have had from law enforcement to apply at all. It's unfortunate, (And I Am Definitely Not Advocating For Political Violence Do Not Mistake Me,) but the only protection we are likely to have for the future is ourselves and each other. If you can feel comfortable owning and carrying a firearm, (and there is no shame if you can't) I would highly suggest learning to do so if at all possible. Hate crimes tend not to happen when the Nazis think that their targets can defend themselves; fascists are not known for courage. Even if you never have to use it, and I hope and pray to god nobody does, the fact that they know it's a possibility may save lives in and of itself. Even if you can't do that, I highly suggest something, be it pepper spray, a taser, or a blade, especially if you are a woman. I'd expect to see an increase in physical assaults and rapes over the next couple of years, and if I can protect anyone with my advice, I feel I am obligated to.
Kamala Harris deserved to lose.
Thatâs a controversial statement, so let me get something out of the way right out the gate: I am not a Trump supporter. I fucking hate Trumpâs racist, misogynistic, homophobic, transphobic, fascist guts, and I will until the day I die. I voted for Harris, I volunteered for her campaign and several other local campaigns in my area. I did everything a politically active person should do to participate in our democracy.
And yet I, and anyone who was paying attention knew how this election was going to go ahead of time, for one very simple reason. What were Kamala Harrisâs policy positions? What did she actually run on? What did she say she was going to do differently? Building a million homes for working-class people who have had their salaries so undercutted by inflation and price hikes that they can no longer afford the kind of long term saving required for that? Increase child tax credits when grocery prices are so high that nobody can afford another mouth to feed? Raising taxes on billionaires? Sheâs the Vice President of the current administration, why are they not already being taxed? And furthermore, where is that tax money going? Clearly not Medicare for All, or Student Debt Relief, or anything that could actually constitute benefits for the average citizen.
Discussing which demographics are âresponsibleâ for electing Trump is a fucking stupid discussion, and anyone engaging in it should feel absolutely fucking ashamed at buying into more crap that the oligarchs put up to divide us. Except for a few exceptions, the demographics were coin-flip toss ups. What happened was that Kamala Harris lost 15 million votes. Not to Trump, but to apathy. Trump got 3 million less votes than he did in 2020, and still won, because people didnât vote for Harris. The battle was in voter turnout, like we always knew it would be, and the Democratic Party lost it. Why?
Because Kamala Harris ran, like Biden did, on being the anti-Trump. And regardless of whether or not you think that the Democrats are responsible for current woes, (and I do not,) that's not a winning strategy when the "Anti-Trump" is the one in power. Being the Anti-Trump isn't a policy position. It's not a solution to anyone's issues. It's merely a hope that people think Trump is worse, and as we've seen, regardless of whether or not it should, that does not win elections. When gas prices or grocery bills are so expensive people can barely afford to survive, saying "Well, those will be worse under Trump," is not a solution. It does not provide confidence that she has plans to fix the issues. It is a shrug of the shoulders, and a dismissal, and that's why so many people stayed home.
In 2020, when the problems could be blamed on Trump without any sort of understanding of the complex issues that caused the problems, because Trump was simply the one in power and The President's Job Is To Fix Everything, so being Anti-Trump worked. When Democrats have been in the white house for four years, and people feel like the problems still aren't fixed, they lose confidence that the democrats will fix the problem, so they don't vote.
When food prices are spiking, you don't say, "The other guy will make it worse," because that's what any candidate would say, and it's not particularly different than just purely mudslinging, and its a claim that Trump will deny vehemently, so you can't win that argument. What you need to say is "I'll subsidize agriculture," or, "I'll increase the accessibility and power of food assistance programs." Regardless of whether or not those things would actually work, what they are is some kind of solid plan to actually fix the fucking problem. It's said that people don't vote on policy, and that's true a lot of the time, or at least more than it should be, but people do vote on confidence, and having policy of any kind builds that confidence. Regardless of what you think of Trump, the man has plenty of plans to implement policy. It's terrible, awful, nation destroying policy, but that's getting into the details and the facts, and that's where the voters' eyes glaze over and they stop listening to you. The fact that Trump has plans to change the status quo and Harris does not is how she lost this election.
When the status quo is untenable, people will vote for whatever breaks it, and that wasn't Harris.
It also doesn't help that Harris has pretty much refused to significantly differentiate herself from Joe Biden, who has plenty of his own problems, and again, is the status quo. Joe Biden refused to step aside and relegate himself to being a single term president because of his personal pride, and the Democrats absolutely refused to consider not backing him until he was forced to step aside when his problematic degradation was put on full display for the entire country to see and mock. Then, instead of holding an actual primary, where voters could choose who they wanted to see on the Democratic ticket, they decided to simply coronate Kamala Harris, a historically unpopular candidate with historically low approval ratings, and force anyone who was against Trump to rally behind a candidate they didn't choose and statistically speaking don't like. Is it any wonder that her ticket hemorrhaged 15 million votes from 2020? That's before getting into her incredibly strange choices during her campaign, from again having essentially no policy positions, to picking a Tim Walz, who while being imo a good person, is from an entirely blue state and not a swing state, and has neither experience running against serious mainline GOP candidates, nor any real nationwide appeal beyond his personality, and we've already established that vibes don't turn out voters.
Kamala Harris, and on a larger scale the Democratic Party, deserved to lose this election because they have almost entirely abandoned any sense of being the progressive option. They've completely abandoned the progressive wing of their party, because who else are they going to vote for? Trump?
I don't like being the guy who says, "Harris hasn't earned the votes," because if you didn't vote, fuck you, you're nearly as culpable in this as the MAGAts, but is it any wonder why progressives are abandoning the democrats? After being ignored, fucked over time after time for nearly a decade at this point, literally screaming and begging for people to care about genocide, fascism, and the literal end of the world and getting a pat on the head and a vote sticker, what the fuck else did anyone expect? Harris cozied up with Liz Cheney and tried to court the votes of a few thousand moderate republicans, while tens of millions of progressive votes were expected, and then you're all trying to to blame them when those votes don't come? Shame, shame on you, ye moderate democrats who'd rather get into bed with the center-right than any kind of progressive, you get what you fucking deserve.
Normally, I'd laugh at establishment democrats fucking around and finding out, but this time, it's not just them finding out, it's the whole of America finding out with them. I don't really have any advice, because I'm just as shattered as anyone else. Hunker down, spend time with your loved ones, and maybe learn how to use a gun in case some neo-nazi decides to try to hate-crime you. I'm hoping that the Democrats learn their lessons from this, but honestly at this point, I'm not sure they're capable of learning, if there'll even be a democratic party to speak of come 2028. Right now, I'm gonna go stare at the election results and feel my faith in humanity crack a little bit more.
#us elections#kamala harris#donald trump#politics#us politics#election 2024#jd vance#democrats#republicans
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I blacked out and more Logince HS AU appeared on my canvas idk what happened (also ty @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat for some inspiration sorry it took so long to make a post about Them <3)
#spoondoodles#sanders sides#sanders sides fanart#ts sides#tss#logan sanders#roman sanders#patton sanders#remus sanders#janus sanders#logince#I am here!!! for the platonic relationships!!!!! in this AU!!!!!!!#i have a strong character arc in my head about platonic logicality growing up together as childhood friends you have no idea asdfghj#i think they were very dependent on each other for many years so much so they'd copy each other but they're much more independent in HS#only remnant of that is that they have the same glasses + emotionally vent to each other a lot - their friends circle has grown enough#they don't live in each others' pockets anymore. roman + janus met in theatre + are gossip besties like they just talk shit together#(not completely sold on janus' design yet ngl i'm not happy with how i drew the vitilego but i'm working on it)#remus + logan are partners in chemistry in a classic teacher act of putting the 'disruptive' kid next to the 'good student' kid in hopes#that logan would stop remus acting out. predictably what happened instead is that they're friends now + remus is still as disruptive#but in a way that entertains logan so they get their work done early. now the teacher can't separate them. lol lmao.#remus knows ALL. but has been sworn to secrecy so can't say shit. janus knows roman's feelings but only suspects logan's.#patton didn't even have to be told by logan he just KNEW + is choosing not to speculate on roman's feelings b/c he's too polite.#virgil isn't here but that's b/c he also KNOWS without being told + is in an even more precarious position than remus. if they were#on better speaking terms he'd commiserate with remus. alas they are suffering separately.#anyway enough rambling from me. many thoughts head full.
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thinking about "murder is okay" still. more than anything i think a lot of people just say shit in meta bc it sounds evocative and vaguely gestures at an actual point
#i dislike the 'some people are not smart enough to review/critique/write' posts bc they're always phrased to invoke ontological capability#only for op to scramble and make it clear thats not what they meant at all guys when they obviously get pushback.#thus establishing them as one of the people who probably isn't smart enough for this.#but like it is true that some people are probably not thinking about it hard enough to write something interesting or revealing#or representative of some sort of broader understanding of the work and its themes and intentions#and are instead letting themselves be captured by whatever pitfalls in logical or moral consistency feels the best#many such cases! we are very good at this as people#crposting
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and see how dialogue isn't possible when you block someone who doesn't even disagree with your movement, just with certain premises behind it? see how it doesn't allow for practicing harm reduction or nuance? when i'm struggling to get myself to eat anything at all, which can last for days or weeks at a time, what i do eat needs to count. sorry, i'm eating the cheese stick because it's the only thing that sounds palatable and it gives me seven grams of protein. sorry there's no room for women with eating disorders and deficiencies because "eat less animal products" isn't good enough when your ideology values non-human animals more than women's health. but of course the burden falls on women to make ourselves tired and weak while the male-led industry overproduces and overconsumes. at least you stayed true to your logically inconsistent, female-socialized emotion-based beliefs and allowed for zero compromise! there's no way your airtight ethical philosophy has blatant logical flaws at the slightest nudge of critical thought, the people who point out fallacies are just heartless!
#the fact that i considered breaking mutuals w this person so many times#but i'm the one who gets blocked in the end lmao#sorry you have no rebuttal to my argument lol#notice how nearly every woman who agreed with me also agreed that the current animal ag industry is the problem#and that we all would like to consume less animal products where we can#but when your ideology is so militant that that isn't good enough because ''meat is murder'' (but only when humans kill animals)#(but remember we've elevated non-human animals to human status. so every time a predator kills a prey animal: murder.)#(wait that's different. it's because ummm humans interfering with animals isn't natural. so are we on the same level as non-human animals?)#(yes but no! pre-industrialization agriculture wasn't part of nature because uh. humans did it.)#(and humans aren't part of nature because of animal agriculture. flawless non-circular logic.)#(so in conclusion all animals have equal personhood except when they obviously don't have the same morality because they're animals)#(this is why there can be no harm reduction because all animal products are human rights violations on par with rape and femicide)#(no this isn't degrading to women bc we told you chickens have the same personhood as women!! and don't question that either!!)#anyway i limit animal consumption to the best of my ability but meat is not murder. if that's not good enough then bite me#sorry to the normal vegans out there who don't treat it like a human rights movement. you get too much shit and i'm adding to it rip
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#i wouldn't go so far to say that i have a particularly self-depricating image of myself#but let's just say that far too many times in the past i've been treated as the disposable one in the relationship#or just.....what i give isn't returned like maybe it should be#so it's just automatic for me to not....have the highest image of myself#so like I said not exactly self-depricating but not exactly the highest either#point with this being that in the situation where in a situation where concern from others is appropriate and warranted for myself#and it is suddenly in my face from very well-meaning friends who are really good friends#i don't know what to do and find the question popping in my head of#why am i suddenly on the receiving end of care and concern like this#it should be me worrying about you guys not the other way around#lasdfjlkslkfjkd#it's hard to explain something like this because logically i know that things are a two way street but i also thing that maybe i don't know#cause sometimes i feel like i get stuck in this scene in my head that goes something like#a warm melancholy of loving others and being loved back but maybe not quite enough#and not being seen quite enough and feeling like sometimes it's too much of a thing to ask for more or for a hug#where everyone is piled on the couch and i'm sitting in the armchair nearby but i don't know how to ask to join in on the couch#even though i really want to#but i don't want to be a hassle or a nuisance so i won't be and remain quiet#i'll watch from afar and long for more and know that one day forever will arrive and this will end and they'll move on without me#because it always happens#and the day someone reaches out or asks for me to stay or tells me i'm not greedy or i'm not too much will never happen#heh
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Actually, things that give you joy matter more than ever in times of horror, and without joy, revolution is meaningless.
Hey hi if you feel you are living in a state of constant horror, then it is more vital than ever to take comfort from wherever you can find it as often as you can.
The idea that the truest and more morally pure form of existence is constant austere self-sacrifice - holding off your own joy and happiness until all the world is righted - is a terribly handy idea for keeping capitalism alive.
Humans need leisure to be healthy.
And yet many of us feel we are the last person who deserves rest. I certainly used to. I still have to remind myself every day that I deserve to be okay.
And guess what?
The idea that some people deserve rest and leisure inherently more than others is one of the capitalist lies that got the world into this mess.
When my wife writes stories of revolution, she makes a point to include a joy in the rebel groups. The rebels party! they taste life! they have community!
They aren't fighting for vague ideas of justice and obligation and goodness, but rather to protect what they love. And in order to do that, they first must have things they love!
You need things to love or you will wither. And then you will need more help than you are able to give. And you'll deserve that help then too.
Your first mission of saving someone must be yourself; there is no other way.
Small joys have the power to keep people alive through Hell.
Every single step you take towards separating joy from shame, you take a step towards freedom.
If you feel like you are at your absolute limit, there's a good fucking chance you are. And at that point, shame becomes very very dangerous.
Listen. I used to believe if I just pushed myself hard enough, I could do anything and therefore I felt it was irresponsible and even cruel of me to rest.
This attitude crippled me.
I mean literally crippled me. My whole life, I wouldn't stop for joy or rest or healing or anything. I thought I could save everyone, which meant it was somehow my fault for not doing that yet.
And eventually I developed fibromyalgia from pushing my nervous system to its breaking point. It broke my body. I don't blame myself for pushing so hard in a world that kept demanding just that. But I do hope to tell people the things I wish I had heard.
Comrades, many of us are fighting for the right to rest. I fight for my own and for yours.
So if you feel like you are barely hanging on, then I am dead fucking serious when I say the best thing you can do for me and for this world is to get as much rest and healing as you possibly can.
Enjoy as many small and silly fixations as you can find.
Do every single thing you can to make your life worth living as long as you are not actively harming innocent people
Not having time and energy to help more does NOT equal harm!
You are a growing tree and if you try to hold too much before your branches are strong enough, you could snap. And if you try to hold up the sky alone, it could kill you.
When you are stronger, you can share from your excess time and strength and energy: you can go out and advocate and help people and become a supporting pillar in a loving community!
Your growth and thriving can do so much more good for the world than your misery ever could!
Hell, I am fighting so you will suffer less.
So what good does your sacrifice do me if you are just hurting yourself in the exact way I want to sacrifice myself to help YOU? When does it end?
Where are we when only the most "deserving" are allowed to rest?
Why is it morally better to suffer more?? In fact, Catholicism can suck it:
Martyrdom is a bad goal and an even poorer gift.
And I don't want it. I won't accept it.
I want you alive.
I want you enjoying things.
I want you to have enough joy in your life that the fight for a better world seems possible because that is the point!
Because if you can do it, then I can do it.
When you are kind to yourself, the world is kinder. And you are showing people it is possible to be kind to oneself.
"Oh but so many people have it worse than me!" - Yes! Yes, Of COURSE they do! This fact will always be true, and yet all of those people matter! But how will you help any one of them in the long-term if you don't stop even when you feel you will cry from the guilt and stress of reading a fan fiction??
Nevermind that the more trauma a person endures, the more likely they are to believe they don't deserve simple pleasures! Or that even the people that DO have it the worst feel often feel the most like they don't deserve it!
"Seriously though, people have it way worse than I do!!!" - And what are you, the tipping point? Only those in worse shape than you deserve basic nice things? Exactly how much worse off do they have to be before they deserve to watch an episode of TV?? How many minutes of relaxation per childhood trauma per week?? How shall they then prove what they have earned? and why does everyone better off than you not deserve to enjoy small nice things?? And if they do, why would you be the one exception???
Joy and rest and leisure are human rights! They are not a privilege they are human rights. The fact that you are suffering less than someone else means that BOTH of you deserve less suffering. Less joy for one of you is counterproductive.
The last things our enemies want is for you to rest.
At this point in capitalism, joy needs to be present for revolution in any positive form to take place.
So, please, please, enjoy your silly little things. At the end of the day, they are neither silly nor little.
the cycle of trying to enjoy my silly little hyperfixations to distract from the horrifying reality that is our country/world but then feeling guilty and irresponsible for devoting time and attention to things donât matter while said reality is horrifying
#original#eeaao#self-care#hopepunk#community organizing#fucking swear to god#i have had so many friends tell me they are the one exception to the rule. we have to lovingly remind each other and#ourselves very very often that we are humans who deserve respect and joy#make no mistake this is an attitude that is very very hard to unlearn and it isn't linear#and capitalism ensures many of us are physically unable to stop working or else they die#so like. there's a logical reason for this trauma response and it isn't anyone's fault for feeling this way#just know i was staying alive to make the world better for everyone else and only recently realized#i want it to be good for ME also. and that is a good motivation too. because now i have both.#and now i see that if i am kind and paying attention i could pull people up with me rather than offering myself as a step ladder#you can light yourself on fire to keep someone warm - but once your gone they are on their own to collect firewood#you won't be able to unlearn the bullshit easily but know that it is unfair bullshit and you deserve better#like if you are a millionaire i have different opinions on what you should be able to spare but#if i had to GUESS#i bet you aren't#this world has resources enough for us all. it is our fight to see them distributed enough so people are able to thrive#dwelling on the horrors while believing it is partially you're fault they are happening at all times doesn't actually make less horror#btw everything everywhere all at once is best movie
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So a few months ago there was the discourse about would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods. I didn't want to touch it while the discourse was hot and everyone dug in hard because those are not good conditions for nuance, but I waited until today, June 1st, for a specific reason.
I'm not going to take a position in the bear vs man debate because I don't think it matters. What is really being asked here is how afraid are you of men? Specifically, unexpected men who are, perhaps, strange.
People have a lot of very real fear of men that comes from a lot of very real places. Back when I was first transitioning in 2015 and 2016, I decided to start presenting as a woman in public even though I did not pass in the slightest.
I live in a red state. I knew other trans women who had been attacked by men, raped by men. I knew I was taking a risk by putting myself out there. I was the only visibly trans person in the area of campus I frequented, and people made sure I never forgot that. Most were harmless enough and the worst I got from them was curious stares. Others were more aggressive, even the occasional threat. I had to avoid public bathrooms, of course, and always be aware of my surroundings.
I know how frightening it is to be alone at night while a pair of men are following behind you and not knowing if they are just going in the same direction or if they want to start something - made all the worse for the constant low level threat I had been living under for over a year by just being visibly trans in a place where many are openly hostile to queer people. You have to remember, this was at the height of the first wave of bathroom law discussions, a lot of people were very angry about trans women in particular. My daily life was terrifying at times. I was never the subject of direct violence, but I knew trans women who had been.
I want you to keep all that in mind.
So man or bear is really the question "how afraid of men are you?", and the question that logically follows is "What if there was a strange man at night in a deserted parking lot?" or "What if you were alone in an elevator with a man?" or "What if you met a strange man in the woman's bathroom?"
My state recently passed an anti trans bathroom bill. The rhetoric they used was about protecting women and children from "strange men", aka trans women.
Conservatives hijack fear for their bigoted agenda.
When I first started presenting as a woman the campus apartment complex was designed for young families. The buildings were in a large square with playgrounds in the center, and there were often children playing. I quickly noticed that when I took my daughter out to play, often several children would immediately stop what they were doing and run back inside. It didn't take me long to confirm that the parents were so afraid of "the strange man who wears skirts" that their children were under strict instructions to literally run away as soon as they saw me.
"How afraid are you of a strange man being near your children?"
I mentioned above that I had to avoid public bathrooms. This was not because of men. It was because of women who were so afraid of random men that they might get violent or call someone like the police to be violent for them if I ever accidentally presented myself in a way that could be interpreted as threatening, when my mere presence could be seen as a threat. If I was in the library studying and I realized that it was just me and one other woman I would get up and leave because she might decide that stranger danger was happening.
Your fear is real. Your fear might even come from lived experiences. None of that prevents the fact that your fear can be violent. Women's fear of men is one of the driving forces of transmisogyny because it is so easy to hijack. And it isn't just trans women. Other trans people experience this, and other queer people too. Racial minorities, homeless people, neurodivergent people, disabled people.
When you uncritically engage with questions like man or bear, when you uncritically validate a culture of reactive fear, you are paving the way for conservatives and bigots to push their agenda. And that is why I waited until pride month. You cannot engage and contribute to the culture of reactive fear without contributing to queerphobia of all varieties. The sensationalist culture of reactive fear is a serious queer issue, and everyone just forgot that for a week as they argued over man or bear. I'm not saying that "man" is the right answer. I am saying that uncritically engaging with such obvious click bait trading on reactive fear is a problem. Everyone fucked up.
It is not a moral failing to experience fear, but it is a moral responsibility to keep a handle on that fear and know how it might harm others.
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In the wake of the whole james somerton fiasco and inspired by this post, I wanted to share a few of my um, soft signs, like, orange flags to detect when someone is bullshitting you.
First of all, I am on the spectrum which means 1) I tend to take what people say at face value and 2) I have a strong sense of justice which makes me prone to biases, all of which combined means I am at perpetual risk of swallowing the bullshit.
So, what to do about it? You turn on the critical thinking and pay attention.
As one of my favorite youtubers, Hannah Alonzo, likes to say: "consider the source, remember the motive". Who is talking to you?? What do you know about them?? What biases might they have?? How do they interact with your own biases?? Where are they talking from?? Is it anger?? happinness? boredom?? Also, why are they talking to you? Are they trying to sell you something?? Are they trying to convince you and why?? How do they go about the finantial motivation, if present? If you have, in this case, a white cis gay man talking to you as it he has it the worst of the worst in the world, there's probably some exaggeration and you should start to wonder. There's a good chance he's bullshitting you.
How they talk about women and POC No, no, stay with me. There's a rule I had back when I was dating men: Always beware of how they treat their mother. With the exception of extremes like mama's boys and cases of abuse, how a man treats the woman with whom they have that familial bond is a good indicator of how they are going to treat you. Do they berate her? speak ill of her? are aggressive or controlling? do they dismiss her opinions? Same with creators, and by god I tell you, specially cis male creators, queer or otherwise, always always beware of how they speak of women, how they treat women, how they treat POC. Somerton had a weird vendetta against straight women. It went mostly unnoticed. Then, he was dismissive towards lesbians and other queer women and it was once again overlooked. Then he went ahead and made sinophobic content about genres and cultures he knows NOTHING about. Again, it went unchecked. What I am telling you is IT'S NOT NORMAL. Contempt about women and non white-western cultures is not normal and if someone has them as them as an enemy or a scapegoat, they're probably bullshitting you. Take what they say and fact check it, see for yourself.
If at any point in a video or an essay you find yourself thinking "wait, really??" then it's time to fact check. Is it a bit suspicious?? is your logic telling you that's not quite how this works?? Then take to google, my friend, they might be bullshitting you. At worst, you dodge a fake fact, at best, you learn way too much about a topic you were already interested in.
Beware of the lack of nuance. I can not stress this enough. We all love monochrome, but life and societal issues are never black and white. It's just impossible, there's too many factors to consider. If you are being presented situations or anecdotes as absolute truths, you're probably being bullshitted. If it's too good to be true, it is. If it sounds waaay too convenient, it probably is. A good researcher, a serious investigator, will always have some nuance because they have done the work and checked the sources. If someone provides you 1) no nuance and 2) no sources, THEY'RE BULLSHITTING YOU.
These are the ones I can come up with just of the top of my head, I'm sure there's more and please, add them. Remember that naivité isn't a crime, I'm fairly naive and that's made me distrustful, and these are some of the techniques I've found that help me navigate through a world of information without losing myself.
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Releasing The Noctwind Brothers
Yandere Twin Vampire Brothers x Gender Neutral Human Turned Vampire Reader CW: Incest between the vampire brothers, mildly dubious consent, intoxication, reader initiated sex, threesome, spit as lube, cum as lube, biting, blood sucking, forced to drink blood, forced to turn into a vampire, bullying, bully gets killed, beating, reader has temporarily broken bones, temporary injury, overprotective yanderes, general yandere behavior, twin yanderes, surprisingly whole ending, surprisingly happy ending Word Count: 3.3k (I know this kind of fic isn't for everyone between the violence the bully receives and the incest, but I hope a lot of people like it anyway. I worked very hard. Also yes, this is a repost because the original had an accidentally gendered pronoun. I apologize if anyone read that and experienced dysphoria.)
You had made a mistake. One that would, soon enough, prove to be a fatal one. Not just for you.
In your haste to start a task you had as one of the townâs carpenters you had turned a corner and ran right into the town brute himself, Jorry. Running into him, at any time, could result in a punch from his large meaty fists, but he had been carrying eggs freshly laid from his hens. This resulted in egg yolk covering an outraged Jorry.
Jorry had bullied you for as long as you could remember, he and his friends pummeling you whenever you happened upon them while he was in a bad mood. Or in any mood really. He just really liked using you as a punching bag. Most people left such behavior in childhood, but not Jorry.
You wasted no time at all in fleeing upon seeing who you had ran into. You werenât quite in the mood to be nursing a broken nose that day. Luckily he had to wipe egg goop out of his eyes and that gave you some crucial extra seconds to make yourself scarce.
Despite making it a good way out of your village, the angered Jorry pursued you. He was nothing if not persistent. You hesitated a bit, but decided your only hope was to flee into the cave that everyone in all the nearby villages were terrified of. No one could remember the truth of the matter, but it had long been forbidden to enter. Many superstitious folks wouldnât even travel within viewing distance of it.
You did not put much faith in superstition though, and no matter what was in there it couldnât be worse than how badly Jorry would beat you if he caught up to you. If you had just taken your punishment in town someone would have happened by or heard your screams and he wouldnât have been able to do nearly as much as he would all the way out here.
Again, a truly fatal miscalculation. You damn fool.
Hoping that you were safe in the cave you crouched in the shadows. But, while absurdly violent, your pursuer was not particularly dimwitted. He pretty quickly surmised that the cave was the logical place for you to have gone. You heard him scream and call for you in the distance.
The only chance to avoid the beating of your lifetime was to retreat farther into the cave. You crept back as silently as humanly possibly. When you went as far back as you could you came across an old metal door, carved into the rock surrounding it were twisting serpents. An ancient rune of unknown meaning was etched into the door itself.
Staring at it filled you with dread and you were possessed with the all consuming urge to flee the way you had come, but it was forgotten as if it was never there when you heard Jorry again, this time near the entrance of the cave. If he entered it now he would be able to see you. Light still made it this far.
With the subtle magic of the rune no longer working on you, you slowly opened the metal door and entered into what looked like an underground mausoleum. An underground tomb long forgotten by the histories of man.
You found yourself between two large rectangles of stone. A chill ran up your spine when you realized they were sarcophagi. Evidently the final resting place for two souls left to the dark and dust of this cave. They were plain and unadorned, other than some words on the top. You leaned over and tried to make out the inscription on one when you suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of stone grating against stone.
The sarcophagus opposite of you moved before the one in front of you did. You tripped backwards in fright as the lids were pushed aside and two pale emaciated corpses pulled themselves up and faced your direction. You couldnât quite tell in the dark but it seemed like their eyes were completely black, creating a chilling contrast with their pale skin.
The thin pale figures slowly began to pull themselves out of their not so final resting places as you got over your initial shock, got up, and got the fuck out of there. You sprinted past the metal door and back into the front of the cave.
You were so engrossed with the current task of running away from the corpses of the damned risen to do any manner of unholy things to those still living that you did not see Jorry as he entered the cave. For the second time that day you careened right into him, knocking you both out of the cavern and on to the dirt outside.
Jorry growled and grabbed your leg, pulling you over to him.
âYou ran like a bitch, finally decide itâs better to face your punishment?â
âNo, no, no, you donât understan-â
He pinned you and began wailing away at your smaller body with his mighty fists. Blow after blow. Your nose was surely broken. Then he got up and started stomping on you with his powerful foot. Now some ribs were certainly broken too.
Suddenly you heard Jorry yelp and the beating stopped. Your face was swollen and bloodied, your mind consumed by the pain of broken bones. You couldnât tell what was going on. Jorry was screaming, blubbering like a girl. The dearly departed had been slowed due to their time without feeding, but with Jorry distracted by his treatment of you he was easy enough prey.
The thin pale figures had him down on the ground, pinning him with less effort than he had pinned you. They bit into his body, ravenously drinking his blood. Not enough to kill him, but enough to reinvigorate themselves and make him weak and helpless. Barely able to move.
You had managed to wipe the blood from your face and saw what was transpiring. You tried your best to drag yourself through the dirt and put distance between yourself and them, but you only managed to get about a foot away before they finally noticed you.
âAlaric look! The one who saved us⊠they need tending to.â
The vampire evidently named Alaric joined his companion in looking over you. As injured as you were, you struggled to plea for mercy.
âShhh, shhh. We arenât going to hurt you. Weâd never hurt our savior.â
âIâm Anthelm Noctwind and this is my twin brother Alaric Noctwind. We're going to help.â
Anhelm positioned himself so that your head was propped up in his lap. He bit at his wrist until blood was flowing.
âHere. Drink.â
You weren't sure what lore was true and what was merely myth, but you were fairly positive that it was universally agreed upon that turning into a vampire required the consumption of oneâs blood. You struggled to turn away but you were powerless to do so. Alaric held your mouth open as Anthelm held his bleeding wrist above it.
Blood dripped in and you gagged as you were forced to swallow. It tasted the same as any blood, though perhaps a little sweeter. Shortly after you consumed it you lost consciousness. Both due to the blood itself and your rather severe injuries.
They took you and Jorry back into the cave. It would take the rest of the day and a lot of the night for you to turn and heal. Alaric carried you with the utmost care and consideration for your wounds while just picking up Jorry and tossing him in unceremoniously, causing him to cry out in pain as he hit the hard rocky floor.
âIâd kill you now and decorate this place with your entrails, but we need you for something, so just keep quiet.â
Between Jorryâs incessant pleas to be freed and his attempt to run out of the cavern while they were both busy watching you resulted in his clothes being torn from him and ripped into strips that were used to bind and gag him.
Alaric, the cruelest of the brothers, watched in amusement as their hog tied victim cried and shook in fear. The hulking peasant experiencing the fear of death for the first time. The amused vampire went over to him and pet him like he was a pet, in mock sympathy.
âDonât worry~,â Alaric cooed, âYouâll be out of your misery soon enough.â
That prompted renewed struggles from the naked man. Alaric only laughed in a maniacal fashion as he returned to your side. They had removed their coats, still pristine as the day they had been sealed away, and used them as bedding for you.
They patiently waited for hours, Alaric occasionally taunting poor Jorry, until you finally stirred. The swelling had gone, your bones had mended, and they had licked up the blood that had covered your face. The only evidence that you had ever suffered at all were the bloodstains on your clothing.
It was well past midnight, the twins had lit a fire to keep you and themselves warm. You could see them clearly now that your face was healed. They both looked exactly alike, down to the same outfits. High class, but outdated, attire. They had pale grey eyes that observed your every movement, completely different from the black voids you thought you had seen earlier. Flawless pale skin with delicate, feminine, features. Their long straight hair accentuated their looks perfectly. They could certainly pass as women if they wore the right attire. Maybe they lured in victims that way.
You were confused and more than a bit groggy, but you managed to piece together all the events that had transpired before your rest. You jumped up and made for the door but they were quicker than anything, human or animal, that you had ever encountered. One got behind you with his hand on your shoulders and the other stood in front with his hand on your cheek.
âDonât be afraid, dove. We arenât going to hurt you.â
You whimpered as they each took one of your hands and guided you over to Jorry.
âYou consumed vampiric blood, right now it has transformed you. Temporarily.â
âYes, to make it stick youâll now need to kill.â
âTechnically it doesnât need to be human, any mammal will do, but since we have this lovely volunteer we figured we shouldnât waste it. â
âDonât really want him talking about us. Donât really want him to live after hurting our dove. And, well, it spares some rodent that is more deserving of life.â
You shuffled nervously.
âI⊠donât want to be aâŠÂ vampireâŠâ
You looked down at your feet, trying to avoid eye contact with them or Jorry who looked up at you with tears streaking his face.
âSorry, but we arenât really giving you a choice.â
âWe didnât mean to make it seem that way, please forgive us.â
âYou saved us, you had enough magical power to open the door and ignore the rune. You will be a strong vampire, and we can tell a lot more about you by your scent.â
âSmell things like personality, even some thoughts. We know you will be perfect for us.â
âUh⊠canât I just stay with you and remain human?â
âNo.â They both said in unison.
âHumans age and die.â
âHumans have betrayed us too. Thatâs how we ended up here. You broke the seal so we have to show our gratitude.â
You kept staring at your feet until you worked up the courage to ask the question you were afraid to hear the answer to.
âWhat if I refuse?â
Anthelm smiled and Alaric laughed as if it was a funny joke. Not that you could tell them apart yet.
âNot a choice sweetie, remember?â
âIf you donât do it willingly then I block the tomb entrance so you canât go deeper.â
âAnd I guard the cave exit so you canât leave. Then we leave you alone with your friend. Your hunger will grow. Youâll crave blood. Your senses will be unbearable.â
âYouâll hear his heartbeat, he will smell delicious, then youâll drain him dry.â
âIn more normal circumstances he could survive that, and the blood consumption without a death only prolongs the transitional period, it wouldnât make you a true vampire. Go long enough without blood, have someone tie you up for a few days, and youâd turn fully human.â
âBut he is weak and beaten. He wonât survive.â
You looked at them and stated boldly that youâd resist.
âYou are more than welcome to try.â
They each took their agreed upon spots to guard against you fleeing. True to their word you did steadily become more and more hungry. Thirsty for blood. Your senses became acutely aware of the food that had been tied up for you. You tried to resist. Your body shook with the effort. You had a splitting headache and panted heavily. Jorry smelled so good, and the beat of his heart beckoned you towards him. Though you resisted longer than most, the outcome was inevitable.
You descended upon him, he squealed as much as he could with his gag as you bit into his neck and sucked him dry. His futile struggles getting more feeble by the second until they stopped entirely.
Alaric and Anthelm were behind you watching with wicked smiles.
When you finished your meal of Jorry you looked on in horror. But only briefly. You had over consumed and the effects were as powerful as they were swift. You were a bit dizzy and felt as though you were light as air.
âWith his death youâll be with us forever!â
You tried to get up but stumbled and nearly fell. One of the twins caught you. You smiled and nuzzled into his neck. There was a cute man holding you, why had you been so horrified earlier? You shrugged it off, if you couldnât remember then it probably wasnât too terribly important.
âCareful, dove. The first times on human blood and drinking to the point of death can be intense.â
âAnd we definitely let you drink too much.â
You giggled and stroked Anthelmâs soft black hair, not at all paying attention to his words.
âYouâre prettier than any girl Iâve ever seen.â
He blushed and Alaric cackled at the spectacle. Until you kissed Anthelm deeply. Then Alaric looked a bit jealous.
You grinded your crotch against Anthelm and giggled at the face he made.
âEverything feels so⊠intense.â
âDdonât you want to go somewhere a bit more... comfy?
âOr romantic? We could find a town. An inn.â Added Alaric.
You ignored him, proceeded to unbutton his shirt and then rubbed your hands over his lean abs. He started returning the treatment, Alaric came over and helped him undress you. It didnât take long for all three of you to be nude. They used the clothes to make an impromptu bed. Anthelm laid down, his erect cock on full display.
He pulled you on top of him, kissing and nipping at your neck while Alaric was behind the two of you. He pressed two spit-lubed fingers into both you and his brother. Both of you writhed in pleasure, but it simply wasnât enough.
Alaric didnât need to stretch either of you out, vampires wouldnât be pained by something like a cock shoving its way in, but it would feel better with more moisture. He withdrew his fingers, making you pout, and lubed up his cock with saliva before sucking on his brothers for a moment to get it wet.
Then he guided his brother's dick into you before sliding his own cock into his brother. You pressed back against it, trying to get the girthy member as deep into you as possible. Anthelm humped into you slowly, timing his thrusts with your bounces.
Alaric gasped as his cock was gripped by his brotherâs tight inviting insides, he gripped Anthelmâs legs for leverage as he drove himself deeper. Anthelm, in the middle of all the action, could barely think. Simultaneously making love to you while being bred by his twin had him drooling.
âAlways so tightâŠâ
âAlaric, h-harder.â
His sibling obliged him.
You were in a worse state than Anthelm. You were new to being a vampire and the blood drunkenness combined with your recent kill made every sensation indescribable. More so when the sensations were that of a vampire at your neck and a cock humping into you while you weakly continued to bounce on it.
Anthelmâs entire body shook as he came in you, shoving his cock far into depths before unloading his seed. He took a few moments to catch his breath, an orgasm evidently enough to tire a vampire. If only for a moment. He stayed hard and began fucking into you again.
âI think you were made for us, angel.â
The stimulation was just too much for you and you screamed as you had the most intense orgasm of your entire life. Your body relaxed as you lay on Anthelm, no longer bouncing on his cock but content to let him keep using you as long as he saw fit as you nuzzled into his chest.
Alaric gripped his brotherâs legs tightly as he finally slammed in hard and filled him like he had filled you. Without missing a beat he slid out of his brother, covered his cock in the cum that pooled out of him, and slid it right into you. Both of there cocks now covered in a slimy mix of both of their loads, using it as lube as they thrust into you in tandem. You whimpered at the sheer immensity of the pleasure that was filling you.
The three of you spent the rest of the entire night, and a good chunk of the morning, engaged in a rapturous sea of sex. Eventually you all fell asleep on top of them. Given their recent centuries long slumber they stayed awake and idly toyed with your hair or caressing you as you slept soundly.
They whispered to themselves about what the plan from there was.
âThereâs a stream outside we can clean ourselves off in.â
âYeah, I can smell it. After that head to a town?â
âA large one where we can blend in. Feed on livestock outside the walls. Maybe rats too if necessary. Always rats in large towns.â
âWhat about humans? Always rapists and thugs in cities that need to be taken care of.â
Alaric looked at Anthelm hopefully.
âTrue. True,â Anthelm relented, âI suppose it wonât hurt to remove a few bad ones. On occasion.â
Alaric broke into a large grin.
âYes! I love how our new partner gets when they are drunk on human life.â
You stirred a bit in your sleep though you didnât wake, drool under your cheek and on Alaricâs bare chest.
âQuiet, they need their restâŠâ
âSorry,â Alaric murmured sheepishly.
They continued chatting about the future until you woke up. With a clearer head you were once more traumatized by what you had done, but they calmed you down and explained how he deserved it and that you were not a monster. They would guide you in your new life.
They were eager to leave behind the cave that had held them prisoner for so long. Bidding the cave farewell with a piss on Jorryâs soon to be rotting corpse, the closest thing he would get to a burial, the brothers departed with you.
You made a life for yourselves in one of the larger cities. Anytime someone tried to hurt you they went missing quite fast. It would be many years still before you had the degree of strength and power that the twins possessed. And even once you did theyâd always remain overprotective.
You quickly came to accept and love your new existence with them. Anthelm took up your trade with you while Alaric became a prominent cook and eventually owner of his own restaurant. Apparently the hypersensitivity of vampiric taste buds helped him make delicacies. There was always a need for carpentry and fancy food, so you never had any money troubles, (un)life was good. And you had an eternity to spend it with them.
#yandere teratophilia#yandere terato#yandere x reader#monster boyfriend#gender neutral reader#yandere monster#male yandere x gn reader#yandere boyfriend#yandere boyfriends#yandere twins#twin yanderes#vampire yandere#vampire x reader#vampires x reader#vampires#vampirism#vampire boyfriend#My OCs#My OC Jorry#My OC Alaric#My OC Anthelm#yandere situation#yandere scenario
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yan gojo falling for the mom of his friend while the milf thinks heâs in love with her daughter đđđ
STOPPP THATS SO MESSSY I LOVE ITTTT
your daughter was always on the quiet side. smart. extremely smart. but didnt really have that many friends. and you were really worried when she went off to college.
in her fourth year, however, she comes back home with a huge grin on her face. shes so giggly and when you prod her for it she shyly gives out that she's met a boy and theyre doing a project together.
youre so excited for her and when she asks if he can come over to work on the project, you eagerly agree.
You greet Gojo Satoru as warmly as you can. You tell him your house is his, he can stay as long as he wants, does he want snacks? you're just so so excited for your daughter! youd do anything to make a good first impression.
unfortunately, it was too good of a first impression.
gojo never really had a mom, or any parental figure growing up. He was given whatever he wanted. when he got to college, he was just your regular spoiled rich kid.
when hes paired up with the quiet girl, its clear she has a crush on him. he plans on using that so he won't have work on the project.
but when he meets you, his world gets turned upside down. hes never had someone treat him so warmly. ask him if he'd like anything to eat. the first time at your house is the first time he's eaten homemade food that is made with care instead of the cold cullinary discipline he's used to eating.
it doesn't help that your sultry soft voice is so sweet in his ear and your body makes mini gojo wanna expand your domain. It doesn't help that there's clearly no hubby in the picture.
Gojo wants you, but for the first time in his life, he can't just have what he wants.
He knows it's wrong to pine after you. It's so complicated and fucked up.
He starts dating your daughter, mostly to try to get over you. You two are pretty similiar. But her lips remind him of yours. And then hes thinking of you again.
he cant help it. one day, he gets drunk, drives to your place and confesses his love.
Appalled, you reject him, obviously. Heartbroken, he breaks up with your daughter. They were just days away from graduating anyway. She has a job lined up across the country. They never have to see eachother again.
and now, you have no excuses (his logic; not the milfs)
he saunters into your place like he owns it. You tell him to leave. He tells you that he'll tell everyone that a 40-something woman came onto him. That shuts you up.
He thinks that after having you for just one night will be enough. It isn't. after your third night together he tells you he'd make a great step dad.
#mommy kink#unfortunately#yandere#asks#yandere jjk#dark jjk#dark gojo satoru#yandere gojo satoru#yandere x reader#threats
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DP X DC : RED HOOD, REVENANT AVENGER OF GOTHAM
Danny's the new king of the ghost zone, and with great power comes great responsibility, so that means paperwork. as he's going through the intake forms for several new ghosts, he comes across a few interesting discrepancies, in the files of one Jason Peter Todd. It would appear that the guy came back to life, but the bureaucratic error was never rectified, so he's running around not fully alive, and not quite dead, either. He isn't a halfa, but he is very liminal and made liminal on corrupted ectoplasm at that. Basically, he's a revenant with an obsession, and the corruption in the ectoplasm means that he has nothing to modulate this obsession.
So, Danny does the logical thing and asks around the ghost zone's latest Gothamite guest to see who exactly, this newest revenant is. What he finds is certainly interesting, and he spends a day going through the records of Jason Todd's life, death, and subsequent resurrection, as well as lists of those the Red Hood has avenged or helped.
And Ancients are the lists long. There are Gothamites who were killed and avenged by the Red Hood, Gothamites who worked for him and are singing his praises, Gothamites who never met him but saw the good he was doing.
So, Danny's decision is as follows: he will head to the mortal world and fix whatever is wrong with this guy's core, and, as compensation for the accidental revival, subsequent trauma, and as thanks for helping so many of his subjects, the Red Hood will receive protection from all things undead, dead, or thereabouts, one of the rare medals of honor that the ghost zone bestows upon very helpful citizens, and Danny will make Crime Alley and the Bowery his official haunt.
It's simple enough. One Tuesday night, he sneaks into the current safehouse, leaves the medal and an official looking letter explaining it, fixes the Lazarus Pit Rage, and delineates the Red Hood's new haunt based on the directions from Gotham, who is more than happy to help after seeing her favorite child recognized for his good deeds.
Jason wakes up that Wednesday morning acutely aware of three muggings happening in Crime Alley, with the Pit Rage nothing more than a bad memory, and a medal on his kitchen table recognizing him for services to the Crown of the Dead, including avenging wronged souls.
He decides to just take the weird omniscient sense of stuff going wrong in the Alley at face value because he doesn't know what the fuck is happening.
Later, when Batman tries to enter the Alley, he finds himself unable to step past the border.
Paranoia ensues.
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Adding on some extra info from discussions that have been going on in light of this, since at the time I went to reblog, it hadn't been put up yet.
It's been determined that these guys are trawling through the GW2 tags specifically, including the racial tags (like #sylvari and #gw2 asura, etc.) for their AI generation data. From the sounds of it, we're talking screencaps and their edits as well as art.
This is a great time to share around the tools we have to combat them again.
Glaze is a defensive tool that helps to protect your work, specifically, from being scraped.
Nightshade is an offensive tool that helps to poison the datasets of these AI generators. It works best when used collectively by multiple artists.
Both of these tools are being developed by the University of Chicago, which recommends using both if you can (but at least using Glaze if Nightshade's effects are too visible on your stuff for your liking). They're also working on integrating the two tools so we can use them together.
Finally, there's this watermark tutorial as an alternative if you need it.
I want to extend proper credit to the people who provided these links again, and who have been informing us about what these clowns are doing, but I don't want to paint unnecessary targets on anyone's backs. Sorry.
Kick GW2 Warp to the curb and make sure you're protecting your stuff, guys. If you didn't think you had to worry about it before, it sure looks like we do now.
Don't let your perceived level of skill, your online presence, etc. make you think you're not a likely target, because other people thinking they didn't have already found their works being stolen for this crap.
Take care of yourselves about this.
I had opened up the GW2 Warp discord to troubleshoot an issue I was having and saw they had a channel for "free A.I character art." Immediately left the discord and uninstalled the program. Just so people are aware.
#reblog#i'm so tired of these tech bro idiots thinking they can and should use this stuff to get a one-up on artists and other creatives#so many artists' livelihoods being threatened or ruined and so many other artists now being afraid to create and/or share their stuff#just because these people are taking 'art isn't real work' to its logical extreme#if it's not something you can immediately pick up on without challenge then that means it takes WORK to do it#which means it should be respected AS WORK and compensated for AS WORK#no artist is any more special with their eyes or hands/limbs/etc. than the average person#they're just willing to look at things in ways others don't think to look#and they care enough about making their art TO ACTUALLY WORK ON IT#it's not talent man. it's priorities#if you don't prioritize the work in building your skills to create then yes - you're not going to be good at actually creating#BUT THE THING IS#THAT'S EASY TO CHANGE#YOU CAN -ALWAYS- DECIDE TO WORK ON DEVELOPING ARTISTIC SKILL THROUGH LEARNING AND PRACTICE#and i promise you that once you do that you WILL get better!#but you need to actually decide to do that you need to actually DO start that work#if you're only ever looking at ways to cheat or to skip out on the effort and the time and are still expecting good results#then you're a fool.#you're a fool who's tremendously offensively harmfully disrespectful not only to ARTISTS but to YOURSELF and your own capacities as a person#be better. by everything that's holy and not BE BETTER. godsdamn.
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âź âŻ; ‷ hypnotized .á
i can't escape you, i'm hypnotized âàšà§âË
dan heng x fem!reader; smut, fluff, no plot; first time, emotional, awkward, a bit vanilla(?); multiple rounds, multiple orgasms, missionary, cowgirl; needy & whiney dan heng agenda; unprotected sex (but wrap it up irl); praise, marking, pet names, groping and touching and in general lots of smooching; overstimulation if you squint;
wc: 4.4k
a/n: hello on a new acc and idk what else to say except prepare for lots of nasty thoughts in the future. peace out. and quick taglist: @kuniihoonii @hoonieswhore (sorry if you didn't want to, I thought you'd like some more dan heng content by yours truly)
the night isn't so early, but it's not extremely late either; or at least you think so, since it's kind of hard to tell time while traveling through space.
but despite that, you're not sleepy; it's actually surprising because you're laying on the pile of bedsheets dan heng calls his bed. granted, the pile is comfortable... sometimes too comfortable, but a proper mattress wouldn't hurt... especially wouldn't hurt his back. and yours, by the way.
prepped on your elbows, you're laying on your stomach with legs up in the air, wiggling them back and forth, while you read a random novel you found in the pits of the archives. you had no idea the bookshelves would contain normal books, let alone such a genre: erotica.
despite its lack of logic or laws of physics, the plot is surprisingly good... or at least good enough to kill the boredom that's washing over you. the silence, at first calming and comforting, soon became too loud, as loud as silence can get. especially when one misses their beloved.
sighing, you close the book and look around the room again. dimly lit, enough to read comfortably, seems... empty. well, no wonder why, because there's only you in there. but usually... usually, even at such hour, dan heng is back, rummaging through the piles of sacred and not texts, books, and other papers he sorts. even if he's quiet, no music is playing, it's still not complete silence. the sheets of paper sweetly swoosh over each other, the pen smoothly traces letters, and the overall atmosphere is... comforting. but without him, no matter how many books you'll go through just to make some noise, it's still empty.
"here you are..."
when dan heng sees you on his... so-called bed, he can't help but sigh in relief. something about seeing you so comfortable in his room makes his heart flutter, even if it's him who had to get comfortable with this. when he lets you in in his little cave, you're a part of it; it's not his room without you around.
"where else should i be?" you frown slightly, confused by his words, features softening the second you hear his melodic voice.
"in my arms, obviously."
you laugh in disbelief, not expecting such a cheesy line from him. but when you see how one corner of his lips curves millimeters up in a snug expression, you can guess he was taking lessons from march and caelus.
"then come here. i've been waiting for you..." you throw the book aside and roll on your side with open arms. that smile of yours, one who could fight the sun with its brightness and warmth, is enough for him to cave in.
but he stops when he notices the title of the book you were reading.
he averts his gaze immediately, but the way his ears redden tell you everything. it wasn't a book from the express's archives. it was from his own collection.
you say nothing; instead, you cuddle with dan heng, limbs tangled and bodies squeezed together in a tight embrace. the moment is serene for a second, with your bodies tangled together and warming each other, being vulnerable and protective at the same time. with closed eyes, both of you relish in this moment of silence; not the empty one, but loud, loud, and intense with all the feelings you two have for each other.
dan heng tries, he really does; he doesn't want to put silent pressure on you, so he bottles up all the need for you. it gets to the point where every single one of his nerves is on fire, every muscle gets tense, and his body gets really warm. warm to the point that even you can feel it.
"is it about that book?"
"what?" he's doomed. he's so over. he's so-
"i know it's a book from your collection. but i don't know why you read such stuff... do you gather intel for... our first time?"
your giggle is cute and innocent, but dan heng can't take it anymore. he's intoxicated by you, swooned over you... straight-up horny for you and he can't keep it in his pants any longer.
"yes." he breathes out, heart thumping in his chest like a ticking bomb. taking a deep breath doesn't help him one bit, and when you look at him with lustful sparkles in your big, lovely eyes while you speak... he feels physical pain.
"are you ready, then? i know i am."
apparently, dan heng wasn't the brightest one, because all the signs, all the teasing you treated him with, were not enough for him to notice. but now it's the time. and both of you know that.
maybe he is horny to the point where he's like a ticking bomb, but he's still a clueless gentleman. his lips clash with yours, intertwining in a slow yet passionate manner while he lays you down on the sheets. your hands cupping his face, the soft skin of your palms, and the sweet taste of your lips make dan heng breath even heavier, coming in ragged pants.
he wants you so bad; to taste you, explore you, praise and worship you, just like you deserve. dan heng never caught feelings that caliber for anyone but you, and this? this is testing his limits. he's so close to cumming in his pants at the mere thought of your naked body, and yet here he is, hands under your t-shirt, reaching for the hem to take it off. he's excited, he's needy, he's so eager; aeons, he loves you so much. and he wants to show you how much he loves you.
"d-dan heng... give me a second."
your voice rips him out of his thoughts. then he realizes your top is off; you're left in a bra and shorts, while he's still fully dressed. that is not fair, he thinks.
"i'll- i'll take mine off, too-" he trails off, reaching for the zippers, quickly getting out of the upper part of his clothing.
"that's not- that wasn't the matter, but- thank you nonetheless," you chuckle and breathe heavily, the sight of your boyfriend's torso, making you only more aroused. trying to reassure yourself, you smile at him softly, hesitating a little to say anything.
"i love you. i love you so much. you know that, right? there's no one else for me but you."
you almost tear up; it's the first time he said it out loud. he told you at the beginning that it's hard for him, and yet... here he is. vulnerable with his emotions, ready to be vulnerable with you.
dan heng is fully aware of how this moment affects you; how it must be hard to feel so... exposed after years of trying to cover up. yes, he's in literal pain still, but he's ready to take it slow and eventually fuck his fist rather than hurt you in any way.
the way his eyes glimmer in the dim light, how they sparkle and glow with nothing but love and devotion while he speaks... that's it. you know he's not lying. you know he's genuine with you, and that he's ready to sacrifice himself for you...
you unclasp your bra and put it aside, getting rid of your shorts too. and when he notices the confidence, love, and commitment, he unzips his pants in seconds.
"may i- kiss you again?" dan heng breathes out, looking you in the eyes and getting lost in them immediately. when you grab his face in your palms and kiss him with urgency he never felt from you, he gives in.
"touch me. everywhere you want, but not there, yet."
"your wish is my command, princess," he mutters back, kissing you again and moving one of his hands to your waist, caressing the soft skin and curves of your body.
you feel his leaking cock against your thigh and by aeons, is it intoxicating. the thoughts to jump on him and fuck him until you pass out are loud, but, surprisingly, you can compose yourself for now. just savor this moment, feel it, and prepare by the way, you say to yourself.
and aeons, do you feel things.
his hands, big yet calloused, touch you so gently, almost as if it's a little fluffy cloud tickling your skin. he continues to spread his warmth across your body, placing his hands everywhere he can; waist, hips, thighs, belly â you name it, he touches it. but he doesn't dare to even think about touching your pussy yet, even if he feels how wet it already is.
dan heng growls quietly, breaking the kiss and resting his forehead on yours with eyes closed, trying to compose himself again. it's hard, with his thoughts racing and spiraling down to his cock, he can't do this anymore, the battles persists and he's not the bravest soldier...
"dan heng? dan heng, can you look at-"
"no, i- i can't. i'm losing control already and- admiring your beauty like that is too much- i'll go to the bathroom and-"
"dan heng!"
the slight bonk you give his head with your hand gets him out of his thoughts, and he finally looks at you with the pain he's trying to suppress. you reassure him with a soft smile before continuing what you wanted to say.
"you can put it in... but slowly. you're- you're quite big and i'm not sure if it fits-"
"i'll make it fit, baby. it'll fit and it'll feel so good- but that's for another time."
the eagerness audible in his voice is adorable, making you chuckle and flustered. he kisses you lips again, exchanging saliva in such a needy and sloppy way. all you can do in such sudden moment is gasp and melt, letting his tongue explore your mouth.
you can feel how his cock is twitching in anticipation and need against your thigh, and the thought of finally feeling it inside makes you dizzy and wet; not in your wettest dreams you imagined his cock to be so... delightful.
"ready?" dan heng suddenly pulls away and breaks the kiss, looking into your eyes for consent. the way you stare at him with excitement, lust, and trust sends him into overdrive. he's not going bonkers thanks to the last thin strings of self-control.
"ready."
he almost drools and cums on the spot when he feels your dripping wet pussy. smearing the precum and your arousal over your entrance, dan heng lets out a few moans and whimpers; his cock is already so sensitive and the warmth of your folds inviting him almost make him cry.
"i love you so much, baby." he's mumbling into your ear while pushing his cock into your pussy, slowly but surely filling you up. the whimpers you two make mingle in the air, making a new sonata that's meant only for you, for this moment, never played again. this is it, this is the moment of pure bliss, where the usually closed heart of your boyfriend is pouring out all the love he has for you. only for you.
dan heng groans and whimpers in suffering, trying his best not to push himself all in at once. he breathes in and out, warm air getting out of his lungs is tickling your neck and ear, making you even more aroused.
"more."
he stops existing for a second, taking in your word. it's only one word and yet it's like a spark to the dynamite of need inside him.
"i need- more of you, you feel so- good," you start babbling, also getting lost in the pleasure. the soft yet demanding stare you give him says a lot; you're sure of what you say, you're sure what you want, and you're sure you want him.
"just a second, baby- i want to stretch you, not rip you in two."
the quiet whine you let out makes him whimper and throb inside you. he's so close to cumming, so close to giving it up... but he needs to wait a little more.
he can't do that when you suddenly cup his face and place a set of sloppy kisses all over his lips and jaw, whimpering and moaning softly.
you relax further, the reactions you get out of him with your little teasing are so cute that you can't help and giggle softly. rolling your hips a little, you help him push his cock further, slowly stretching you in such a delicious way.
"baby, no- i'm gonna-!"
dan heng tries to stop you and your greedy pussy, but he's helpless when his cock is hugged by your tight, velvety walls. with closed eyes, he shudders and rests his forehead on your forehead while he cums, his cock twitching and painting your inner walls already.
"fuck- i'm sorry, baby," he starts, his body still shaking as he speaks. "i couldn't help it- it won't happen again, i promise, baby-"
"you may think i'm crazy or twisted, but i find it hot."
his skin is warm under your palms as you soothe his shoulders and arms, trying to calm him down. with his head still resting on your shoulder, dan heng pants and tries to catch his breath, kissing your skin softly.
"it happens. it's normal and it's fine. i didn't mind it," you continue to comfort him, your soft fingertips brushing over his skin. your breathing is steady, heart beats only a little faster in the excitement as you want him to breathe with you. and he does after a short while, his thoughts also halting to a stop. "if you want, we can stop it here-"
"no. i want to make you feel so good like you never felt before- i want to fuck you so good that you'll get wet when thinking about it again."
such a bold statement makes your eyes widen in surprise, especially when you can hear how determined he is for it to happen. your breath gets stuck in your lungs as you try to pry your inner whore away.
"as long as- as you'll be careful and loving... then i don't- i don't mind."
a consensus has been made between your voice of reason and inner whore, both sides getting what they want; a good and sweet lovemaking session with the only man that there is for you.
dan heng chuckles and lifts his head, looking you in the eyes with undying devotion and utmost adoration as he seeks the confirmation in your stare. seeing your flushed skin, body shivering in anticipation, and lips slightly parted, he doesn't need to be told twice. placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he rests his own on yours and stares right into you eyes, stare piercing right into your soul.
"i'll make you feel so good, baby- you'll feel amazing, i promise-" he continues his ramblings, at this rate getting delirious at the mere thought of how cute you'll look when cumming around him and because of him.
his cock slides out and inside you again with ease, stretching and filling your tight pussy to the brim, knocking the air out of your lungs. gasping and moaning, you reach for his hand, needing to hold it through the whole session.
you two are so needy for each other's body, soul, mind, and heart and it's showing in every little move. dan heng quickly intertwines your hand with his, holding it gently yet in a firm grip. you put your other palm at the back of his head, and with fingers fidgeting with his hair, you pull him closer for a heated and full of devotion kiss.
he's waiting patiently for your walls to adjust to his size, but when they squeeze him so deliciously, it's hard to resist. his kisses and touches get impatient, more needy, and more possessive. taking a handful of one of your breasts, he squeezes the soft flesh and brushes his fingers across you nipple just to tease you and elicit more of those cute sounds from you.
"f-fuck, dan heng-" you whimper softly right into his lips, the stretch being overwhelmingly amazing. your breathing is ragged and shaky, thoughts race out of your mind at the feeling of his cock inside you.
"baby, you're so- so tight, aeons-" he starts grunting and moaning, finally rolling his hips further into your core. "your pussy is so good i- i can't control myself anymore, baby-"
the heated kisses you two exchange while mingled together make you both even more sweaty, smell of sex filling the room, soaking into the walls, bedsheets, everywhere where it can, just to remind you later how fiery and passionate your love is.
dan heng explores your body further with his free hand, the warm palm hovering over your skin sets your senses aflame further. his soft touch is addicting, paired with his throbbing cock thrusting in and out of your pussy makes such a dangerous mix. his hand roams over your breasts, stomach, sides, everywhere he can reach. when he reaches your hips and thighs, you react immediately, making his heart flutter and mind fuzzy with excitement.
"you like being touched here?" he asks softly, fingers brushing over your thighs, from the inner part to the outer, up and down, repeat. you don't say anything, yet he knows the answer to his question right after; the way your pussy flutters around his length, how your legs shake, how you moan louder â all of it makes his head spin and causes a wicked grin to appear on his face.
you squeeze his hand and pull him closer, hand on the back of his head pulling him in for another sloppy kiss. but you trail off your lips to the side, kissing and licking your way from the corner of his lips to his jaw, neck, shoulder, and collarbone, leaving soft marks with almost every kiss. moaning into his skin, you nibble on the sensitive parts of his neck, the need to claim him and show everyone who he belongs to being too alluring to resist.
"oh, fuck-!" dan heng is not prepared for you marking him up but aeons does he love it. tilting his head to the side, he gives you easier access to all the places he wants- no, he needs- to be marked. his breath gets shallow and ragged, cock throbbing and pulsing inside you because of how much he loves this; the marks that he will show with pride, announcing to everyone that he's yours and yours only.
his quiet whimpers and moans sound so pretty, paired with the squelching noises of his cock pumping itself into your pussy give a lovely one-of-a-kind concerto meant only for the two of you; a concerto about desire, love, and trust, a tribute to love you two hold for each other.
"d-dan heng! ah-! you feel- so good- ah!" crying out in pleasure, you arch your back with a loud moan when the tip of his cock nudges at that one sweet spot, having you sob and scream his name further.
it's like the more you scream his name, the more dan heng goes insane. with his eyes closed, he's panting into your neck, sliding inside you with ease and need; he needs you to cream around him, he needs to feel your cum coating his already sensitive length, he needs to hear you more, even if your throat is already dry because of the constant screams.
"mmh- baby, you're doing so good for me, fuck- keep going, moan my name- you're such a good- good fucking girl-"
your thighs shake and squeeze around his waist while your hips stutter, your whole body being lit on fire when you cum, gushing around him and squeezing his cock deeper inside. crying out, your whole body stiffens as you lose control, pussy throbbing, creaming, and milking him with need of his load.
seeing you like this, body flushed, pleasure written all over your face, with one hand holding his and the other one gripping the sheets... dan heng can't take it anymore. he's cumming right after, thick load after load filling your greedy little pussy up to the brim, as it milks his length further.
he rests his head in the crook of your neck, panting and smiling, placing soft and lazy kisses over your neck and shoulder. you still squeeze his hand, placing the other around him, soothing his back with your light and gentle touch. nuzzling your cheeks against his, you try to calm your labored breathing.
"mmm- you did so well, darling," dan heng muses quietly, finally lifting his head and looking at you, eyes full of love and adoration. he grips your hip softly, caressing your skin with his fingers. "are you tired, baby?"
"not that much," you answer, voice quiet and ragged with heavy breaths, as you try to calm down. the intensity of the moment got to you, and now you need a little more time to come back to your senses.
"then- can we go another round?"
you freeze, confused yet... enticed by the offer. you can feel how his cock is still hard, twitching and throbbing, waiting for you. aeons, it feels so good.
with one, swift motion, you pull him closer, kissing him with newly-found intensity, one he never imagined you could even feel for him, boring loser dan heng.
"let's go."
letting out a small chuckle of relief, dan heng looks at you for a second, admiring your sparkling eyes, flushed face, beautiful features. he can't help it; he dives in for another kiss, sloppy and messy, whimpering softly into your lips. the feeling of his breath on your face, how he tries to compose himself further, it's so extremely hot and tempting.
"are you really so needy? for me?" you tease him, knowing smirk glued to your face when dan heng pulls away for a second, his head quickly turning back to you, completely forgetting what he was looking for.
"y-yes..."
chuckling and cooing, you grab his chin, firmly but not strong enough to hurt; turning his red face to yours, lips millimeters away, you smirk again. as you look into his eyes, your fingers graze over his chin.
"do you want me to take care of you, then?"
his heart stops for a second, mind disappearing right after. with lips slightly parted, he's looking you in the eyes, stare hazed with desire devotion, and everything he's holding for you.
"yes, please."
quickly yet clumsily, you switch positions, with you now straddling his lap, dan heng sitting on his pile of blankets, staring at you with his pretty, pleading eyes. his hard cock nestled between your thighs is leaking precum again, the essence bubbling at the tip, smearing over your skin.
dan heng, the usually composed and collected archivist, is now getting putty in your hands, melting under you, mewling and whimpering for you to take care of him and his length that's aching for you. this mess of horny, insatiable, and devoted nerd that wasn't touched by anyone else is for you and you only. and it's an incredible sight.
"baby-" he's whining, quiet moans slipping past his slightly parted, swollen from all the kisses lips, covered in spit and sweat; the glistening and plump lips you love to devour.
"what is it?" your eyes wander from his lips to his slowly teary eyes, eyelashes sweetly batting the tears and sweat away; but it's his lips that's your weakness. in seconds if not less, you press a sweet yet passionate kiss, tongues dancing with each other as dan heng lets you devour his mouth, whimpering and almost cumming at the mere taste of your sweet lips.
"please, baby- i need you- i need you so bad," he's mumbling, whining and losing everything, ready to cry; all he needs is you and your sweet pussy, yet you keep it all away from him, like a big meanie!
he's kissing the corner of your lips, your cheeks, neck, everywhere he can reach, softly pecking your silky skin while maintaining eye contact, his big, puppy eyes pleading for you to ease his needs. "please baby, i need to- i need to be inside- i need your pussy so bad-"
"i got you, i got you-" you mumble out, needy for him as well. it's a rare occasion to have dan heng all for yourself, so you decide to use this opportunity.
slowly, you guide his tip inside your slick entrance, sucking him inside bit by bit. you need to take deep breaths to calm down and not straight-up impale yourself, but aeons, his cock just feels so good...
finally, you take his length all inside, moaning out loud with a little cry, his throbbing cock finally nestled deep where it belongs.
"mmh- fuck! d-dan heng, you feel- so good-" breathing out, you shiver and throw your head back, chest moving up and down rapidly as you try to continue breathing. with hands on his shoulders, you start to bounce on him, his cock easily sliding in and out as you ride both of your brains out.
you can't even focus on how pretty he looks in his fucked-out state, you yourself giving in to the pleasure. eyes rolled back, mouth parted â the stimulation and overall experience being quite intense, lots of emotions, need, and urgency make you two go non-verbal for a while; only deep panting and whimpers audible throughout the room.
"d-darling, oh fuck! so good-" dan heng lets out slurred words, eyes back in his skull as he starts to drool. quickly wiping his lips, he lets out another pretty moan, pulling your face closer to his own, and kissing you with urgency. his big hands, one on the back of your head and the other one on your thigh, hold you with care, not pushing, not pulling that roughly. he's powerless, too vulnerable, and hazy with lust to even think.
with your pussy hugging his cock so tight he's close again, legs shaking and hips jerking up to meet yours mid-way. you're close too, body shaking slightly, jolts of pleasure coursing through you as you pick up your pace. the need washes over you two, mingling your bodies together as you stay nestled in each other's embrace, fucking your brains out and confessing all the pent-up emotions.
your whimpers, his moans, and screams of each other's name echo through the archives for few hours straight, as you two just can't get enough, ready to pass out then stop. the few short breaks you two take are long enough for yearning to build up again, the whole cycle repeating again.
thank aeons the rest of the crew was out, as march and caelus would complain for the next week again.
| MLIST | if you liked this piece, please reblog! đ©âĄđȘ
@ cosmic-expressions / @ deka-dent 2024, do not repost pls
#dan heng#dan heng smut#dan heng x reader#hsr smut#honkai star rail smut#honkai star rail x reader#hsr x reader#honkai star rail#fics: dan heng#fics: honkai star rail
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Hurtful Dependant
Charles x fem!reader
From this request
Summary: You have been in a relationship with Charles for a long time and you were engaged.You were always getting bad comments like other wags but receiving threats and scary letters was starting to scare you. You didn't mention these to Charles, and you didn't expect to come face to face with the person who sent you these threats at the Monaco race.
WARNINGS: knife, stalker, violance,blood etc. not edited.
A/N: I'm sorry for the logical error I was in physiology class when I wrote this.
You never imagined that your fiancé being a famous F1 driver would cause anything to happen to you.You have been in a relationship with Charles for a long time and recently got engaged, but for a while now, Charles' fans started to cross borders.Gathering in front of Charles' house and waiting for him was the most uncomfortable thing they'd ever done, or so you thought.
When you started dating Charles three years ago, you initially received both bad and good comments, like every other wag, but with Charles' help, you learned not to care about them.After you got engaged, everything suddenly started to get scary. First, you started receiving threats from unknown accounts on Instagram. But you didn't mention these to Charles so as not to escalate the situation and they stopped doing this.
Everything went well for a few months. When Charles left for the races after the winter break, you were left alone at home and scary letters started arriving at your house, along with a few photos of you leaving work or doing something else outside.This was getting really scary, but this time you didn't say anything because you didn't want to worry Charles while he was away.
When it was time for the Monaco race, Charles had finally returned home and you were relieved. You missed your fiancée very much and you felt like you could take your mind off these terrible things. You spent time with Charles before the Monaco race you both took time to relax and satisfy your longing.
You were going to watch the Monaco race with Charles. Charles got up early in the morning and went out. You were preparing breakfast for you. When you received a message on your phone, you smiled, thinking it was from Charles. You looked at your phone. It was from an unknown number and it said, "Watch your back." And there was a photo just taken of you. This made you nervous again, even though you tried not to show it to Charles when he came, you felt terrible.
You went to the paddock for the race, everything was fine, but you still had a bad feelingYou felt as if someone was following you, and you even turned and looked behind you from time to time. Monaco was an important race and you decided to tell Charles what happened after the race. You spent time together in the Ferrari hospitality and garage until the race.Even though the race was tense, Charles came in second. When he got out of the car, he first hugged the team and you, then said he was going to the cooling room.
There were a few minutes until they got to the podium, so you started to go to the front with everyone else, but someone whose face you couldn't see in the crowd grabbed you and said that Charles called you and that it was urgent. At that moment, without thinking, you went to where he said, a little outside the paddock, and you had no chance of reaching anyone because he didn't have his phone with you. As you were walking in the dark, you saw someone far away.
"Charles? What's the problem? What are you doing there?" I called out to the person in the distance First a laugh was heard, then a woman's voice sent a shiver down my spine. "How naive you are. I warned you so many times that if you had listened to me none of this would have had to happen." While you were stepping back in fear, she started walking towards you from the darkness.
"what do you want from me? Isn't what you've been doing for a few months enough?" When I heard the podium music from afar, I looked there and when I looked in front of me again, the girl was in front of me now. "No it's not enough. You are the only reason I can't reach him, you are the biggest obstacle, and as if that wasn't enough, you got engaged to him" her voice scratched my ear.
"you are crazy" While she was laughing again, I hit my back against the wall, I had no place left to escape She came closer and suddenly wrapped her hand around my throat and started squeezing, "You made me crazy.If you didn't exist Charles would be mine but don't worry I will solve this quickly" I couldn't breathe but I started struggling. The girl was stronger than me. When I kicked her leg, she retreated a little and punched me in the face. I fell to the ground.
When you could breathe again, you started coughing.You tried to get up from the ground but you fell so hard and it hurt, this time she kicked you and took a knife out of her pocket. "don't make my job difficult" She spoke melodiously. When I saw the knife, I started to crawl backwards "Please don't do it, are you crazy? If you kill me, you will go to jail. And if you hurt me Charles will never look at you anyway" My words made her even more angry.
She leaned down next to me, held my face with one hand, and slowly rubbed the knife in her hand against my face, leaving a small cut. I sighed in pain, but I couldn't move because if I struggled, she would pierce my face with knife.While the sounds of celebration were coming from the side of the podium again, we both looked in that direction.You took her distraction as an opportunity and got up from the ground and started running towards the paddock. When you fell to the ground, you hurt your arm and leg, so it was hurting and it was slowing you down. You could feel blood coming out of the cut on your face, you could hear the girl running after you.
As you were entering the paddock, you felt a sudden pain in your leg, screamed and fell to the ground. When you looked at your leg, you saw that she threw the knife at your leg and there was a huge cut, but because you screamed, a few guards around looked at where you fell to the ground. This time, you had no strength left to get up from the ground. While the guards were coming to you, you heard the girl running away.
You were semi-conscious from pain and shock while the guards were helping you.What you don't know is that Charles was worried and scared when he didn't see you when he got to the podium. As soon as the podium was over, he asked everyone about you and looked around for you. While he was looking for you, he saw the guard carrying you towards the emergency room at the entrance of the paddock and ran there.
When you opened your eyes, Charles was next to you, holding your hand. You squinted your eyes because of the light. His voice was mixed with anger. "Who did this to you, Y/N? Why didn't you say anything to me my love?" You shook his hand tiredly "I didn't want to worry you, at first I thought it was a normal fan, you know.but later-" You didn't want to continue. Charles looked at you with worry while stroking your hair.
"I should have known, Y/N, what if something had happened to you, you should have told me baby" Charles got up from his seat and hugged you. "I am sorry" you said in a weak voice. "No, I'm sorry, I should have protected you." You shook your head no. You spent time there for a while, you were better as they looked at your wounds.
A few days later Charles released a statement and everyone was surprised but very angry at the person who did this.Even though it took a long time for you to heal, it was nothing serious. Still, Charles did not leave your side and immediately informed someone to find the person who did this to you. Even if something bad happened to you, having a caring fiancé next to you helped you recover quickly.And unlike the girl who did this to you, the bond between you got stronger.
#violetszone#f1 imagine#f1 blurb#f1 smut#f1 fluff#violetszonerequest#charles leclerc angst#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc f1#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc#f1 one shot#f1 fic#f1 fandom#f1 x reader#f1 fanfic#formula one x reader#formula 1 x reader#formula 1 oneshot#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1
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The Problem with the League of Villains
this is just me ranting after reading many people say that the lov deserved a better ending (i agree with them don't worry). most of that stuff has already been said but i'm bored and need something to write
so why is everyone disappointed?
by definition, an antagonist is someone that goes against the main character(s) and a villain is someone who does immoral and/or illegal things (wow, shocking)
so by definition, the league of villains is aptly named. shigaraki and dabi are mass murderers, toga is a killer too, and even if the others are 'less dangerous' they're all guilty of terorism and kidnapping a teenager.
not nice, right? then why would anyone would want them to have a good ending?
long story short: horikoshi made the league too sympathetic and relatable
when horikoshi has decided to make them funny, he's decided to make them likeable. that's not enough though. you can find a fictional villain funny and not root for them (for some reason the examples that comes to my mind are the disney villains. captain hook is hilarious but no one wants him to win)
the cause of everyone's disappointment is the relatable part. everyone in the league has gone through stuff viewers can relate. touya, shigaraki and toga have been abused; twice has mental health issues (and stuggling to get a job is relatable too lmao); spinner has been discriminated against... you get the idea
and even without knowing their backstory, most of the league's fights can be considered noble: they want to change society and make the world a better place. to take a more precise example, the league kidnapped bakugou because they thought he had gone through similar struggle as them
(this is mr compress talking in chapter 85) as far as i've seen, most of the fandom either think bakugou being chained and muzzled at the end of the sport festival was just comic relief or agree that it was fucked up
so yeah, you can't put a group of people rejected by society, who just want a better world and expect people to not like them
and that's why their ending is disappointing (the rest contains heavy spoilers of the last few chapters of mha)
they're all either in jail or six feet underground. we rationally could understand it, they're all criminals/villains so of course they wouldn't get a happy ending and face consequences for their actions. the only one who could have gotten away with it is shigaraki because of all the grooming/brainwashing he's gone through and maybe toga because she's a child
but if you relate to a character, you want them to get a happy ending. of course fans would want dabi to be at peace, but instead he's forced to spend his last moments being stared at by his abuser). of course fans would want shigaraki to be free from afo (but instead his only freedom was death). of course fans would want toga to be understood and cared for (but she never had that opportunity)
that's not very 'save to win' out of you horikoshi
maybe it's just a shortcut made by the fandom, but the league are seen more as victims of abuse than actual criminals. i mean, what's more important in dabi's story? the fact that he burned himself alive after overworking himself to get his abusive father's attention, or the fact that he's burned people alive? probably both, but there's more focus on the first element.
and obviously we would want abuse victims to get a happy ending
basically, their ending isn't coherent with what we've seen of them, and that's why people are disappointed
btw, the same logic applies to stain. some fans agree with stain's reasoning bc he's fighting against corruption. of course, his logic is stupid and he's delusional but he's introduced not long after we've discovered shouto's past. you can't say "one of the most popular heroes is abusing + all he wants is to get n°1 to satisfy his own ego" and then follow with "see that guy fighting against corruption? he's bad, don't do that"
the clever way to make sure no one would agree with stain would have been to make the heroes fight against injustice with good methods. i live for the fanfics in which izuku takes down the hpsc
okay i'm done ranting thanks for reading
#mha#my hero academia#bnha#boku no hero academia#bnha spoilers#mha 430#league of villains#shigaraki tomura#mha dabi#touya todoroki#toga himiko#mr compress#spinner#twice#hero killer stain#excuse my grammar#my french ass is to lazy to make sure i haven't made mistakes#bnha critical
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