#But that logic isn't good enough for many
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spoondoodles · 6 months ago
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I blacked out and more Logince HS AU appeared on my canvas idk what happened (also ty @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat for some inspiration sorry it took so long to make a post about Them <3)
#spoondoodles#sanders sides#sanders sides fanart#ts sides#tss#logan sanders#roman sanders#patton sanders#remus sanders#janus sanders#logince#I am here!!! for the platonic relationships!!!!! in this AU!!!!!!!#i have a strong character arc in my head about platonic logicality growing up together as childhood friends you have no idea asdfghj#i think they were very dependent on each other for many years so much so they'd copy each other but they're much more independent in HS#only remnant of that is that they have the same glasses + emotionally vent to each other a lot - their friends circle has grown enough#they don't live in each others' pockets anymore. roman + janus met in theatre + are gossip besties like they just talk shit together#(not completely sold on janus' design yet ngl i'm not happy with how i drew the vitilego but i'm working on it)#remus + logan are partners in chemistry in a classic teacher act of putting the 'disruptive' kid next to the 'good student' kid in hopes#that logan would stop remus acting out. predictably what happened instead is that they're friends now + remus is still as disruptive#but in a way that entertains logan so they get their work done early. now the teacher can't separate them. lol lmao.#remus knows ALL. but has been sworn to secrecy so can't say shit. janus knows roman's feelings but only suspects logan's.#patton didn't even have to be told by logan he just KNEW + is choosing not to speculate on roman's feelings b/c he's too polite.#virgil isn't here but that's b/c he also KNOWS without being told + is in an even more precarious position than remus. if they were#on better speaking terms he'd commiserate with remus. alas they are suffering separately.#anyway enough rambling from me. many thoughts head full.
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astralleywright · 28 days ago
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thinking about "murder is okay" still. more than anything i think a lot of people just say shit in meta bc it sounds evocative and vaguely gestures at an actual point
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watermelinoe · 2 years ago
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and see how dialogue isn't possible when you block someone who doesn't even disagree with your movement, just with certain premises behind it? see how it doesn't allow for practicing harm reduction or nuance? when i'm struggling to get myself to eat anything at all, which can last for days or weeks at a time, what i do eat needs to count. sorry, i'm eating the cheese stick because it's the only thing that sounds palatable and it gives me seven grams of protein. sorry there's no room for women with eating disorders and deficiencies because "eat less animal products" isn't good enough when your ideology values non-human animals more than women's health. but of course the burden falls on women to make ourselves tired and weak while the male-led industry overproduces and overconsumes. at least you stayed true to your logically inconsistent, female-socialized emotion-based beliefs and allowed for zero compromise! there's no way your airtight ethical philosophy has blatant logical flaws at the slightest nudge of critical thought, the people who point out fallacies are just heartless!
#the fact that i considered breaking mutuals w this person so many times#but i'm the one who gets blocked in the end lmao#sorry you have no rebuttal to my argument lol#notice how nearly every woman who agreed with me also agreed that the current animal ag industry is the problem#and that we all would like to consume less animal products where we can#but when your ideology is so militant that that isn't good enough because ''meat is murder'' (but only when humans kill animals)#(but remember we've elevated non-human animals to human status. so every time a predator kills a prey animal: murder.)#(wait that's different. it's because ummm humans interfering with animals isn't natural. so are we on the same level as non-human animals?)#(yes but no! pre-industrialization agriculture wasn't part of nature because uh. humans did it.)#(and humans aren't part of nature because of animal agriculture. flawless non-circular logic.)#(so in conclusion all animals have equal personhood except when they obviously don't have the same morality because they're animals)#(this is why there can be no harm reduction because all animal products are human rights violations on par with rape and femicide)#(no this isn't degrading to women bc we told you chickens have the same personhood as women!! and don't question that either!!)#anyway i limit animal consumption to the best of my ability but meat is not murder. if that's not good enough then bite me#sorry to the normal vegans out there who don't treat it like a human rights movement. you get too much shit and i'm adding to it rip
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the-sunshine-dragon · 2 years ago
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#i wouldn't go so far to say that i have a particularly self-depricating image of myself#but let's just say that far too many times in the past i've been treated as the disposable one in the relationship#or just.....what i give isn't returned like maybe it should be#so it's just automatic for me to not....have the highest image of myself#so like I said not exactly self-depricating but not exactly the highest either#point with this being that in the situation where in a situation where concern from others is appropriate and warranted for myself#and it is suddenly in my face from very well-meaning friends who are really good friends#i don't know what to do and find the question popping in my head of#why am i suddenly on the receiving end of care and concern like this#it should be me worrying about you guys not the other way around#lasdfjlkslkfjkd#it's hard to explain something like this because logically i know that things are a two way street but i also thing that maybe i don't know#cause sometimes i feel like i get stuck in this scene in my head that goes something like#a warm melancholy of loving others and being loved back but maybe not quite enough#and not being seen quite enough and feeling like sometimes it's too much of a thing to ask for more or for a hug#where everyone is piled on the couch and i'm sitting in the armchair nearby but i don't know how to ask to join in on the couch#even though i really want to#but i don't want to be a hassle or a nuisance so i won't be and remain quiet#i'll watch from afar and long for more and know that one day forever will arrive and this will end and they'll move on without me#because it always happens#and the day someone reaches out or asks for me to stay or tells me i'm not greedy or i'm not too much will never happen#heh
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luckyladylily · 6 months ago
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So a few months ago there was the discourse about would you rather meet a man or a bear in the woods. I didn't want to touch it while the discourse was hot and everyone dug in hard because those are not good conditions for nuance, but I waited until today, June 1st, for a specific reason.
I'm not going to take a position in the bear vs man debate because I don't think it matters. What is really being asked here is how afraid are you of men? Specifically, unexpected men who are, perhaps, strange.
People have a lot of very real fear of men that comes from a lot of very real places. Back when I was first transitioning in 2015 and 2016, I decided to start presenting as a woman in public even though I did not pass in the slightest.
I live in a red state. I knew other trans women who had been attacked by men, raped by men. I knew I was taking a risk by putting myself out there. I was the only visibly trans person in the area of campus I frequented, and people made sure I never forgot that. Most were harmless enough and the worst I got from them was curious stares. Others were more aggressive, even the occasional threat. I had to avoid public bathrooms, of course, and always be aware of my surroundings.
I know how frightening it is to be alone at night while a pair of men are following behind you and not knowing if they are just going in the same direction or if they want to start something - made all the worse for the constant low level threat I had been living under for over a year by just being visibly trans in a place where many are openly hostile to queer people. You have to remember, this was at the height of the first wave of bathroom law discussions, a lot of people were very angry about trans women in particular. My daily life was terrifying at times. I was never the subject of direct violence, but I knew trans women who had been.
I want you to keep all that in mind.
So man or bear is really the question "how afraid of men are you?", and the question that logically follows is "What if there was a strange man at night in a deserted parking lot?" or "What if you were alone in an elevator with a man?" or "What if you met a strange man in the woman's bathroom?"
My state recently passed an anti trans bathroom bill. The rhetoric they used was about protecting women and children from "strange men", aka trans women.
Conservatives hijack fear for their bigoted agenda.
When I first started presenting as a woman the campus apartment complex was designed for young families. The buildings were in a large square with playgrounds in the center, and there were often children playing. I quickly noticed that when I took my daughter out to play, often several children would immediately stop what they were doing and run back inside. It didn't take me long to confirm that the parents were so afraid of "the strange man who wears skirts" that their children were under strict instructions to literally run away as soon as they saw me.
"How afraid are you of a strange man being near your children?"
I mentioned above that I had to avoid public bathrooms. This was not because of men. It was because of women who were so afraid of random men that they might get violent or call someone like the police to be violent for them if I ever accidentally presented myself in a way that could be interpreted as threatening, when my mere presence could be seen as a threat. If I was in the library studying and I realized that it was just me and one other woman I would get up and leave because she might decide that stranger danger was happening.
Your fear is real. Your fear might even come from lived experiences. None of that prevents the fact that your fear can be violent. Women's fear of men is one of the driving forces of transmisogyny because it is so easy to hijack. And it isn't just trans women. Other trans people experience this, and other queer people too. Racial minorities, homeless people, neurodivergent people, disabled people.
When you uncritically engage with questions like man or bear, when you uncritically validate a culture of reactive fear, you are paving the way for conservatives and bigots to push their agenda. And that is why I waited until pride month. You cannot engage and contribute to the culture of reactive fear without contributing to queerphobia of all varieties. The sensationalist culture of reactive fear is a serious queer issue, and everyone just forgot that for a week as they argued over man or bear. I'm not saying that "man" is the right answer. I am saying that uncritically engaging with such obvious click bait trading on reactive fear is a problem. Everyone fucked up.
It is not a moral failing to experience fear, but it is a moral responsibility to keep a handle on that fear and know how it might harm others.
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nerdvi · 1 year ago
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In the wake of the whole james somerton fiasco and inspired by this post, I wanted to share a few of my um, soft signs, like, orange flags to detect when someone is bullshitting you.
First of all, I am on the spectrum which means 1) I tend to take what people say at face value and 2) I have a strong sense of justice which makes me prone to biases, all of which combined means I am at perpetual risk of swallowing the bullshit.
So, what to do about it? You turn on the critical thinking and pay attention.
As one of my favorite youtubers, Hannah Alonzo, likes to say: "consider the source, remember the motive". Who is talking to you?? What do you know about them?? What biases might they have?? How do they interact with your own biases?? Where are they talking from?? Is it anger?? happinness? boredom?? Also, why are they talking to you? Are they trying to sell you something?? Are they trying to convince you and why?? How do they go about the finantial motivation, if present? If you have, in this case, a white cis gay man talking to you as it he has it the worst of the worst in the world, there's probably some exaggeration and you should start to wonder. There's a good chance he's bullshitting you.
How they talk about women and POC No, no, stay with me. There's a rule I had back when I was dating men: Always beware of how they treat their mother. With the exception of extremes like mama's boys and cases of abuse, how a man treats the woman with whom they have that familial bond is a good indicator of how they are going to treat you. Do they berate her? speak ill of her? are aggressive or controlling? do they dismiss her opinions? Same with creators, and by god I tell you, specially cis male creators, queer or otherwise, always always beware of how they speak of women, how they treat women, how they treat POC. Somerton had a weird vendetta against straight women. It went mostly unnoticed. Then, he was dismissive towards lesbians and other queer women and it was once again overlooked. Then he went ahead and made sinophobic content about genres and cultures he knows NOTHING about. Again, it went unchecked. What I am telling you is IT'S NOT NORMAL. Contempt about women and non white-western cultures is not normal and if someone has them as them as an enemy or a scapegoat, they're probably bullshitting you. Take what they say and fact check it, see for yourself.
If at any point in a video or an essay you find yourself thinking "wait, really??" then it's time to fact check. Is it a bit suspicious?? is your logic telling you that's not quite how this works?? Then take to google, my friend, they might be bullshitting you. At worst, you dodge a fake fact, at best, you learn way too much about a topic you were already interested in.
Beware of the lack of nuance. I can not stress this enough. We all love monochrome, but life and societal issues are never black and white. It's just impossible, there's too many factors to consider. If you are being presented situations or anecdotes as absolute truths, you're probably being bullshitted. If it's too good to be true, it is. If it sounds waaay too convenient, it probably is. A good researcher, a serious investigator, will always have some nuance because they have done the work and checked the sources. If someone provides you 1) no nuance and 2) no sources, THEY'RE BULLSHITTING YOU.
These are the ones I can come up with just of the top of my head, I'm sure there's more and please, add them. Remember that naivité isn't a crime, I'm fairly naive and that's made me distrustful, and these are some of the techniques I've found that help me navigate through a world of information without losing myself.
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obsessivevoidkitten · 7 months ago
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Releasing The Noctwind Brothers
Yandere Twin Vampire Brothers x Gender Neutral Human Turned Vampire Reader CW: Incest between the vampire brothers, mildly dubious consent, intoxication, reader initiated sex, threesome, spit as lube, cum as lube, biting, blood sucking, forced to drink blood, forced to turn into a vampire, bullying, bully gets killed, beating, reader has temporarily broken bones, temporary injury, overprotective yanderes, general yandere behavior, twin yanderes, surprisingly whole ending, surprisingly happy ending Word Count: 3.3k (I know this kind of fic isn't for everyone between the violence the bully receives and the incest, but I hope a lot of people like it anyway. I worked very hard. Also yes, this is a repost because the original had an accidentally gendered pronoun. I apologize if anyone read that and experienced dysphoria.)
You had made a mistake. One that would, soon enough, prove to be a fatal one. Not just for you.
In your haste to start a task you had as one of the town’s carpenters you had turned a corner and ran right into the town brute himself, Jorry. Running into him, at any time, could result in a punch from his large meaty fists, but he had been carrying eggs freshly laid from his hens. This resulted in egg yolk covering an outraged Jorry.
Jorry had bullied you for as long as you could remember, he and his friends pummeling you whenever you happened upon them while he was in a bad mood. Or in any mood really. He just really liked using you as a punching bag. Most people left such behavior in childhood, but not Jorry.
You wasted no time at all in fleeing upon seeing who you had ran into. You weren’t quite in the mood to be nursing a broken nose that day. Luckily he had to wipe egg goop out of his eyes and that gave you some crucial extra seconds to make yourself scarce.
Despite making it a good way out of your village, the angered Jorry pursued you. He was nothing if not persistent. You hesitated a bit, but decided your only hope was to flee into the cave that everyone in all the nearby villages were terrified of. No one could remember the truth of the matter, but it had long been forbidden to enter. Many superstitious folks wouldn’t even travel within viewing distance of it.
You did not put much faith in superstition though, and no matter what was in there it couldn’t be worse than how badly Jorry would beat you if he caught up to you. If you had just taken your punishment in town someone would have happened by or heard your screams and he wouldn’t have been able to do nearly as much as he would all the way out here.
Again, a truly fatal miscalculation. You damn fool.
Hoping that you were safe in the cave you crouched in the shadows. But, while absurdly violent, your pursuer was not particularly dimwitted. He pretty quickly surmised that the cave was the logical place for you to have gone. You heard him scream and call for you in the distance.
The only chance to avoid the beating of your lifetime was to retreat farther into the cave. You crept back as silently as humanly possibly. When you went as far back as you could you came across an old metal door, carved into the rock surrounding it were twisting serpents. An ancient rune of unknown meaning was etched into the door itself.
Staring at it filled you with dread and you were possessed with the all consuming urge to flee the way you had come, but it was forgotten as if it was never there when you heard Jorry again, this time near the entrance of the cave. If he entered it now he would be able to see you. Light still made it this far.
With the subtle magic of the rune no longer working on you, you slowly opened the metal door and entered into what looked like an underground mausoleum. An underground tomb long forgotten by the histories of man.
You found yourself between two large rectangles of stone. A chill ran up your spine when you realized they were sarcophagi. Evidently the final resting place for two souls left to the dark and dust of this cave. They were plain and unadorned, other than some words on the top. You leaned over and tried to make out the inscription on one when you suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of stone grating against stone.
The sarcophagus opposite of you moved before the one in front of you did. You tripped backwards in fright as the lids were pushed aside and two pale emaciated corpses pulled themselves up and faced your direction. You couldn’t quite tell in the dark but it seemed like their eyes were completely black, creating a chilling contrast with their pale skin.
The thin pale figures slowly began to pull themselves out of their not so final resting places as you got over your initial shock, got up, and got the fuck out of there. You sprinted past the metal door and back into the front of the cave.
You were so engrossed with the current task of running away from the corpses of the damned risen to do any manner of unholy things to those still living that you did not see Jorry as he entered the cave. For the second time that day you careened right into him, knocking you both out of the cavern and on to the dirt outside.
Jorry growled and grabbed your leg, pulling you over to him.
“You ran like a bitch, finally decide it’s better to face your punishment?”
“No, no, no, you don’t understan-”
He pinned you and began wailing away at your smaller body with his mighty fists. Blow after blow. Your nose was surely broken. Then he got up and started stomping on you with his powerful foot. Now some ribs were certainly broken too.
Suddenly you heard Jorry yelp and the beating stopped. Your face was swollen and bloodied, your mind consumed by the pain of broken bones. You couldn’t tell what was going on. Jorry was screaming, blubbering like a girl. The dearly departed had been slowed due to their time without feeding, but with Jorry distracted by his treatment of you he was easy enough prey.
The thin pale figures had him down on the ground, pinning him with less effort than he had pinned you. They bit into his body, ravenously drinking his blood. Not enough to kill him, but enough to reinvigorate themselves and make him weak and helpless. Barely able to move.
You had managed to wipe the blood from your face and saw what was transpiring. You tried your best to drag yourself through the dirt and put distance between yourself and them, but you only managed to get about a foot away before they finally noticed you.
“Alaric look! The one who saved us… they need tending to.”
The vampire evidently named Alaric joined his companion in looking over you. As injured as you were, you struggled to plea for mercy.
“Shhh, shhh. We aren’t going to hurt you. We’d never hurt our savior.”
“I’m Anthelm Noctwind and this is my twin brother Alaric Noctwind. We're going to help.”
Anhelm positioned himself so that your head was propped up in his lap. He bit at his wrist until blood was flowing.
“Here. Drink.”
You weren't sure what lore was true and what was merely myth, but you were fairly positive that it was universally agreed upon that turning into a vampire required the consumption of one’s blood. You struggled to turn away but you were powerless to do so. Alaric held your mouth open as Anthelm held his bleeding wrist above it.
Blood dripped in and you gagged as you were forced to swallow. It tasted the same as any blood, though perhaps a little sweeter. Shortly after you consumed it you lost consciousness. Both due to the blood itself and your rather severe injuries.
They took you and Jorry back into the cave. It would take the rest of the day and a lot of the night for you to turn and heal. Alaric carried you with the utmost care and consideration for your wounds while just picking up Jorry and tossing him in unceremoniously, causing him to cry out in pain as he hit the hard rocky floor.
“I’d kill you now and decorate this place with your entrails, but we need you for something, so just keep quiet.”
Between Jorry’s incessant pleas to be freed and his attempt to run out of the cavern while they were both busy watching you resulted in his clothes being torn from him and ripped into strips that were used to bind and gag him.
Alaric, the cruelest of the brothers, watched in amusement as their hog tied victim cried and shook in fear. The hulking peasant experiencing the fear of death for the first time. The amused vampire went over to him and pet him like he was a pet, in mock sympathy.
“Don’t worry~,” Alaric cooed, “You’ll be out of your misery soon enough.”
That prompted renewed struggles from the naked man. Alaric only laughed in a maniacal fashion as he returned to your side. They had removed their coats, still pristine as the day they had been sealed away, and used them as bedding for you.
They patiently waited for hours, Alaric occasionally taunting poor Jorry, until you finally stirred. The swelling had gone, your bones had mended, and they had licked up the blood that had covered your face. The only evidence that you had ever suffered at all were the bloodstains on your clothing.
It was well past midnight, the twins had lit a fire to keep you and themselves warm. You could see them clearly now that your face was healed. They both looked exactly alike, down to the same outfits. High class, but outdated, attire. They had pale grey eyes that observed your every movement, completely different from the black voids you thought you had seen earlier. Flawless pale skin with delicate, feminine, features. Their long straight hair accentuated their looks perfectly. They could certainly pass as women if they wore the right attire. Maybe they lured in victims that way.
You were confused and more than a bit groggy, but you managed to piece together all the events that had transpired before your rest. You jumped up and made for the door but they were quicker than anything, human or animal, that you had ever encountered. One got behind you with his hand on your shoulders and the other stood in front with his hand on your cheek.
“Don’t be afraid, dove. We aren’t going to hurt you.”
You whimpered as they each took one of your hands and guided you over to Jorry.
“You consumed vampiric blood, right now it has transformed you. Temporarily.”
“Yes, to make it stick you’ll now need to kill.”
“Technically it doesn’t need to be human, any mammal will do, but since we have this lovely volunteer we figured we shouldn’t waste it. ”
“Don’t really want him talking about us. Don’t really want him to live after hurting our dove. And, well, it spares some rodent that is more deserving of life.”
You shuffled nervously.
“I… don’t want to be a… vampire…”
You looked down at your feet, trying to avoid eye contact with them or Jorry who looked up at you with tears streaking his face.
“Sorry, but we aren’t really giving you a choice.”
“We didn’t mean to make it seem that way, please forgive us.”
“You saved us, you had enough magical power to open the door and ignore the rune. You will be a strong vampire, and we can tell a lot more about you by your scent.”
“Smell things like personality, even some thoughts. We know you will be perfect for us.”
“Uh… can’t I just stay with you and remain human?”
“No.” They both said in unison.
“Humans age and die.”
“Humans have betrayed us too. That’s how we ended up here. You broke the seal so we have to show our gratitude.”
You kept staring at your feet until you worked up the courage to ask the question you were afraid to hear the answer to.
“What if I refuse?”
Anthelm smiled and Alaric laughed as if it was a funny joke. Not that you could tell them apart yet.
“Not a choice sweetie, remember?”
“If you don’t do it willingly then I block the tomb entrance so you can’t go deeper.”
“And I guard the cave exit so you can’t leave. Then we leave you alone with your friend. Your hunger will grow. You’ll crave blood. Your senses will be unbearable.”
“You’ll hear his heartbeat, he will smell delicious, then you’ll drain him dry.”
“In more normal circumstances he could survive that, and the blood consumption without a death only prolongs the transitional period, it wouldn’t make you a true vampire. Go long enough without blood, have someone tie you up for a few days, and you’d turn fully human.”
“But he is weak and beaten. He won’t survive.”
You looked at them and stated boldly that you’d resist.
“You are more than welcome to try.”
They each took their agreed upon spots to guard against you fleeing. True to their word you did steadily become more and more hungry. Thirsty for blood. Your senses became acutely aware of the food that had been tied up for you. You tried to resist. Your body shook with the effort. You had a splitting headache and panted heavily. Jorry smelled so good, and the beat of his heart beckoned you towards him. Though you resisted longer than most, the outcome was inevitable.
You descended upon him, he squealed as much as he could with his gag as you bit into his neck and sucked him dry. His futile struggles getting more feeble by the second until they stopped entirely.
Alaric and Anthelm were behind you watching with wicked smiles.
When you finished your meal of Jorry you looked on in horror. But only briefly. You had over consumed and the effects were as powerful as they were swift. You were a bit dizzy and felt as though you were light as air.
“With his death you’ll be with us forever!”
You tried to get up but stumbled and nearly fell. One of the twins caught you. You smiled and nuzzled into his neck. There was a cute man holding you, why had you been so horrified earlier? You shrugged it off, if you couldn’t remember then it probably wasn’t too terribly important.
“Careful, dove. The first times on human blood and drinking to the point of death can be intense.”
“And we definitely let you drink too much.”
You giggled and stroked Anthelm’s soft black hair, not at all paying attention to his words.
“You’re prettier than any girl I’ve ever seen.”
He blushed and Alaric cackled at the spectacle. Until you kissed Anthelm deeply. Then Alaric looked a bit jealous.
You grinded your crotch against Anthelm and giggled at the face he made.
“Everything feels so… intense.”
“Ddon’t you want to go somewhere a bit more... comfy?
“Or romantic? We could find a town. An inn.” Added Alaric.
You ignored him, proceeded to unbutton his shirt and then rubbed your hands over his lean abs. He started returning the treatment, Alaric came over and helped him undress you. It didn’t take long for all three of you to be nude. They used the clothes to make an impromptu bed. Anthelm laid down, his erect cock on full display.
He pulled you on top of him, kissing and nipping at your neck while Alaric was behind the two of you. He pressed two spit-lubed fingers into both you and his brother. Both of you writhed in pleasure, but it simply wasn’t enough.
Alaric didn’t need to stretch either of you out, vampires wouldn’t be pained by something like a cock shoving its way in, but it would feel better with more moisture. He withdrew his fingers, making you pout, and lubed up his cock with saliva before sucking on his brothers for a moment to get it wet.
Then he guided his brother's dick into you before sliding his own cock into his brother. You pressed back against it, trying to get the girthy member as deep into you as possible. Anthelm humped into you slowly, timing his thrusts with your bounces.
Alaric gasped as his cock was gripped by his brother’s tight inviting insides, he gripped Anthelm’s legs for leverage as he drove himself deeper. Anthelm, in the middle of all the action, could barely think. Simultaneously making love to you while being bred by his twin had him drooling.
“Always so tight…”
“Alaric, h-harder.”
His sibling obliged him.
You were in a worse state than Anthelm. You were new to being a vampire and the blood drunkenness combined with your recent kill made every sensation indescribable. More so when the sensations were that of a vampire at your neck and a cock humping into you while you weakly continued to bounce on it.
Anthelm’s entire body shook as he came in you, shoving his cock far into depths before unloading his seed. He took a few moments to catch his breath, an orgasm evidently enough to tire a vampire. If only for a moment. He stayed hard and began fucking into you again.
“I think you were made for us, angel.”
The stimulation was just too much for you and you screamed as you had the most intense orgasm of your entire life. Your body relaxed as you lay on Anthelm, no longer bouncing on his cock but content to let him keep using you as long as he saw fit as you nuzzled into his chest.
Alaric gripped his brother’s legs tightly as he finally slammed in hard and filled him like he had filled you. Without missing a beat he slid out of his brother, covered his cock in the cum that pooled out of him, and slid it right into you. Both of there cocks now covered in a slimy mix of both of their loads, using it as lube as they thrust into you in tandem. You whimpered at the sheer immensity of the pleasure that was filling you.
The three of you spent the rest of the entire night, and a good chunk of the morning, engaged in a rapturous sea of sex. Eventually you all fell asleep on top of them. Given their recent centuries long slumber they stayed awake and idly toyed with your hair or caressing you as you slept soundly.
They whispered to themselves about what the plan from there was.
“There’s a stream outside we can clean ourselves off in.”
“Yeah, I can smell it. After that head to a town?”
“A large one where we can blend in. Feed on livestock outside the walls. Maybe rats too if necessary. Always rats in large towns.”
“What about humans? Always rapists and thugs in cities that need to be taken care of.”
Alaric looked at Anthelm hopefully.
“True. True,” Anthelm relented, “I suppose it won’t hurt to remove a few bad ones. On occasion.”
Alaric broke into a large grin.
“Yes! I love how our new partner gets when they are drunk on human life.”
You stirred a bit in your sleep though you didn’t wake, drool under your cheek and on Alaric’s bare chest.
“Quiet, they need their rest…”
“Sorry,” Alaric murmured sheepishly.
They continued chatting about the future until you woke up. With a clearer head you were once more traumatized by what you had done, but they calmed you down and explained how he deserved it and that you were not a monster. They would guide you in your new life.
They were eager to leave behind the cave that had held them prisoner for so long. Bidding the cave farewell with a piss on Jorry’s soon to be rotting corpse, the closest thing he would get to a burial, the brothers departed with you.
You made a life for yourselves in one of the larger cities. Anytime someone tried to hurt you they went missing quite fast. It would be many years still before you had the degree of strength and power that the twins possessed. And even once you did they’d always remain overprotective.
You quickly came to accept and love your new existence with them. Anthelm took up your trade with you while Alaric became a prominent cook and eventually owner of his own restaurant. Apparently the hypersensitivity of vampiric taste buds helped him make delicacies. There was always a need for carpentry and fancy food, so you never had any money troubles, (un)life was good. And you had an eternity to spend it with them.
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dresshistorynerd · 6 days ago
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The Morrisian case against fast fashion
Today I discovered that H&M made a William Morris collection some years ago. The heath death of the universe can't come quickly enough. We can stop now. Satire is dead and we killed her.
It's not just the whole concept of H&M using William Morris' designs for their fast fashion which is insanity inducing, but also the critical response it garnered. Like sure, people did realize this is insane and there was a lot of think pieces about it at the time, but I read several of them and they all seem to still miss the point in spectacular way.
The basic premise of these think pieces go along the lines of: "Would William Morris spin in his grave with a speed of light because of the H&M collection of his designs? A difficult question indeed. William Morris was a complicated man. He wanted art to be affordable to everyone. Isn't H&M affordable? That kinda fits. Though probably he would have some concerns about H&M's practices."
On the surface - yes - but like in reality - fuck no. There's no nuance in this particular issue. He talked about many times what he though of the H&Ms of his time, the retailers selling poor quality industrially produced "fashionable" bullshit. We know exactly what he would have thought of H&M. Here's couple of quotes from his 1884 lecture "Art and Socialism", which makes it very clear.
"It would be an instructive day's work for any one of us who is strong enough to walk through two or three of the principal streets of London on a week-day, and take accurate note of everything in the shop windows which is embarrassing or superfluous to the daily life of a serious man. Nay, the most of these things no one, serious or unserious, wants at all; only a foolish habit makes even the lightest-minded of us suppose that he wants them, and to many people even of those who buy them they are obvious encumbrances to real work, thought and pleasure. But I beg you to think of the enormous mass of men who are occupied with this miserable trumpery, from the engineers who have had to make the machines for making them, down to the hapless clerks who sit day-long year after year in the horrible dens wherein the wholesale exchange of them is transacted, and the shopmen, who not daring to call their souls their own, retail them amidst numberless insults which they must not resent, to the idle public which doesn't want them but buys them to be bored by them and sick to death of them."
He is describing the birth of consumerism, which was taking form during his lifetime in the late Victorian Era, which fast fashion is the extreme logical conclusion of, and he fucking hated it. He specifically railed against endless consumerist products, which H&M is the perfect representation of. It was definitely not the art and beauty he believed everyone required and deserved. He makes the distinction often.
"Now if we are to have popular Art, or indeed Art of any kind, we must at once and for all be done with this luxury; it is the supplanter, the changeling of Art; so much so that by those who know of nothing better it has even been taken for Art, the divine solace of human labour, the romance of each day's hard practice of the difficult art of living."
"And here furthermore is at least a little sign whereby to distinguish between a rag of fashion and a work of Art: whereas the toys of fashion when the first gloss is worn off them do become obviously worthless even to the frivolous—a work of Art, be it ever so humble, is long lived; we never tire of it; as long as a scrap hangs together it is valuable and instructive to each new generation. All works of Art in short have the property of becoming venerable amidst decay: and reason good, for from the first there was a soul in them, the thought of man, which will be visible in them so long as the body exists in which they were implanted."
When he thought of popular Art he thought of the craftsmanship of the common people. The art people have made from useful everyday objects with skillful handicrafts. This is what he means by "divine solace of human labour". It's not reverence of Puritanical work ethic, on the contrary, it's the reverence of creation, of the earnest joy people feel when they get to express themselves through their creative pursuits. He certainly didn't believe in work for work's sake, work needed to be worthwhile and enjoyable. He summarized his own position on what labour should be thusly:
"It is right and necessary that all men should have work to do which shall be worth doing, and be of itself pleasant to do; and which should he done under such conditions as would make it neither over-wearisome nor over-anxious."
He urged his middle class audience to reject consumerism (the lecture was for a very much middle class atheist society):
"For I say again that in buying these things: 'Tis the lives of men you buy! Will you from mere folly and thoughtlessness make yourselves partakers of the guilt of those who compel their fellow men to labour uselessly?"
I think it's glaringly obvious H&M and fast fashion in general is what he would consider luxury. Rags of fashion that are just churned out and discarded without thought and produced by compelling people to labour uselessly. It's not popular art that's made by workers and craftsmen, who are able to express themselves through it. There's no agency for the abused workers in H&M's sweatshops, they are not expressing their joy of creation, they are simply labouring uselessly.
Morris didn't shame workers for buying affortable things even if they weren't Art with big A, because that's the problem he despised the whole economic system for, for taking away the popular Art from people, making it inaccessible, and selling back mass produced products with very little practical or aesthetic value. So I don't think he would have problem with people who can only afford fast fashion today. They are the victims of capitalism too, because Art has been taken away from them. But the idea that some of these think pieces had that perhaps the H&M's Morris collection can be good actually if you squint, that H&M has the capacity to bring the art and beauty Morris advocated for for the people, is level of stupidity that's hard to express in words.
Morris didn't believe anything made with exploited labour could be truly beautiful, truly art. In his 1879 lecture "The Art of the People" he put it like this:
"That thing which I understand by real art is the expression by man of his pleasure in labour."
The way I understand this, is that art is communication. Through it we communicate feelings, ideas and thoughts, that is it's purpose. So for that communication to work, for it to be imbued with message, the person making it needs to feel passion and love for it's creation. How can there be love and passion if the hands making the garment belong to a tired exploited worker who has no agency what so ever in their work and can only think about survival to the next day?
Beyond the fundamental exploitativeness of H&M and fast fashion, this collection would still get zero points on aesthetic values from Morris even with his own designs. Because the work itself was such an important part of art for Morris, good design was nothing without good craftsmanship. Good design in his mind was always relative and dependent on it's purpose.
"For everything made by man’s hands has a form, which must be either beautiful or ugly; beautiful if it is in accord with Nature, and helps her; ugly if it is discordant with Nature, and thwarts her; it cannot be indifferent." (The Lesser Arts, 1877)
Here when he says nature, he means the nature of the thing that is made - basically it's purpose and function - and the nature of the materials it's made from. Basically, the design must always be made to bring out the function of the art and the qualities of the material it's made from, not fight against them. This is because he believed handicrafts were uniquely suitable for expressing the love of creation, therefore superior labour, and to really bring out the qualities of the craftsmanship and enjoy the creative process, the design should be suitable for that craft. The other side, which was the joy of using and experiencing art, required the craft to be selected for the suitable purpose. Using poorly functioning furniture for example is not very enjoyable, nor is using clothing that's made from materials that are not suitable for the climactic conditions it's supposed to be used in.
H&M of course utterly fails in this. They use Morris' designs in fully unsuitable ways. They print patterns made for example for wall papers on poor quality fabrics with synthetics dyes they weren't made for. This line from one blog post I came across really got me: "Therefore, without cheapening the artistic value of Morris’ designs, H&M’s collection offers an unparalleled potential for accessibility to them." No. Fuck no. They do in fact cheapen Morris' designs in every single way possible. Literally this is atrocious.
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Despite the popular depiction, Morris wasn't in fact against industrial machinery or industrial art even, or at least he wasn't once his views on art and politics matured. He did think technology was useful, but he thought the people should use industrial methods for the benefit of all, not be enslaved by the industrial machine.
"I have spoken of machinery being used freely for releasing people from the more mechanical and repulsive part of necessary labour; and I know that to some cultivated people, people of the artistic turn of mind, machinery is particularly distasteful, and they will be apt to say you will never get your surroundings pleasant so long as you are surrounded by machinery. I don't quite admit that; it is the allowing machines to be our masters and not our servants that so injures the beauty of life nowadays. In other words, it is the token of the terrible crime we have fallen into of using our control of the powers of Nature for the purpose of enslaving people, we care less meantime of how much happiness we rob their lives of." ("How we live and how we might live", 1887)
However, he thought that the designer should approach it the way they approached any craft, by designing for the strengths of the machine work.
"But if you have to design for machine-work, at least let your design show clearly what it is. Make it mechanical with a vengeance, at the same time as simple at possible. Don't try, for instance, to make a printed plate look like a hand-painted one: make it something which no one would try to do if he were painting by hand..." ("Art and the Beauty of the Earth", 1881)
He did use some machinery for fabric and wall paper printing, but he was very intentional about their use. Still his designs weren't made for the type of methods these modern H&M machinery uses and he did for example use natural dyes. Particularly insulting is that some of the H&M clothes are made from viscose, rayon made with viscose method. Viscose method is extremely toxic and is known to cause long term health consequences for the workers and the people in surrounding areas. This has been well proven knowledge for ages. William Morris' wall paper factory in the beginning used the typical method used at the time which involved arsenic, but once he learned this could pose risks for the workers, he changed the method. Many of the new synthetic dyes were toxic at the time, which is the major reason he so favoured natural dyes, known to not cause health issues for workers or pollute the environment.
The question many of these think pieces about the H&M Morris collection posed was, would Morris disapprove and should we care? The first part of that is very easy to answer. Yes. Of course Morris would disapprove. He is currently powering the whole of British Isles with purely the kinetic energy his grave-spinning produces. Should we care though? If you care about Morris' art, if you want to see more of that kind of art in this world, you should care. Morris' art is not about the superficial qualities. Copying his designs and aesthetics and styles, will only lead to hollow imitations, that are exactly what he described the rags of fashion to be; as the shininess of novelty wears off they will reveal themselves to be soulless, useless and utterly empty. This collection is just that. To see more of the kind of art that makes you feel like his art makes you feel, not just something that reminds you of that feeling, you should focus more on the way the art is made and less on the specific aesthetics. If his vision of labour and art was realised, all art produced of course wouldn't be loved by every person, but all of it would be loved by someone, even if that someone was just the maker. And that would be more worthwhile than every single rag of fast fashion.
I will stop William-Morris-posting now and return to my thesis.
The full texts I quoted here:
Art and Socialism The Art of the People The Lesser Arts How We Live and How We Might Live Art and the Beauty of the Earth
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envy-of-the-apple · 3 months ago
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yan gojo falling for the mom of his friend while the milf thinks he’s in love with her daughter 😋😋😋
STOPPP THATS SO MESSSY I LOVE ITTTT
your daughter was always on the quiet side. smart. extremely smart. but didnt really have that many friends. and you were really worried when she went off to college.
in her fourth year, however, she comes back home with a huge grin on her face. shes so giggly and when you prod her for it she shyly gives out that she's met a boy and theyre doing a project together.
youre so excited for her and when she asks if he can come over to work on the project, you eagerly agree.
You greet Gojo Satoru as warmly as you can. You tell him your house is his, he can stay as long as he wants, does he want snacks? you're just so so excited for your daughter! youd do anything to make a good first impression.
unfortunately, it was too good of a first impression.
gojo never really had a mom, or any parental figure growing up. He was given whatever he wanted. when he got to college, he was just your regular spoiled rich kid.
when hes paired up with the quiet girl, its clear she has a crush on him. he plans on using that so he won't have work on the project.
but when he meets you, his world gets turned upside down. hes never had someone treat him so warmly. ask him if he'd like anything to eat. the first time at your house is the first time he's eaten homemade food that is made with care instead of the cold cullinary discipline he's used to eating.
it doesn't help that your sultry soft voice is so sweet in his ear and your body makes mini gojo wanna expand your domain. It doesn't help that there's clearly no hubby in the picture.
Gojo wants you, but for the first time in his life, he can't just have what he wants.
He knows it's wrong to pine after you. It's so complicated and fucked up.
He starts dating your daughter, mostly to try to get over you. You two are pretty similiar. But her lips remind him of yours. And then hes thinking of you again.
he cant help it. one day, he gets drunk, drives to your place and confesses his love.
Appalled, you reject him, obviously. Heartbroken, he breaks up with your daughter. They were just days away from graduating anyway. She has a job lined up across the country. They never have to see eachother again.
and now, you have no excuses (his logic; not the milfs)
he saunters into your place like he owns it. You tell him to leave. He tells you that he'll tell everyone that a 40-something woman came onto him. That shuts you up.
He thinks that after having you for just one night will be enough. It isn't. after your third night together he tells you he'd make a great step dad.
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writerfromthestars · 1 month ago
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DP X DC : RED HOOD, REVENANT AVENGER OF GOTHAM
Danny's the new king of the ghost zone, and with great power comes great responsibility, so that means paperwork. as he's going through the intake forms for several new ghosts, he comes across a few interesting discrepancies, in the files of one Jason Peter Todd. It would appear that the guy came back to life, but the bureaucratic error was never rectified, so he's running around not fully alive, and not quite dead, either. He isn't a halfa, but he is very liminal and made liminal on corrupted ectoplasm at that. Basically, he's a revenant with an obsession, and the corruption in the ectoplasm means that he has nothing to modulate this obsession.
So, Danny does the logical thing and asks around the ghost zone's latest Gothamite guest to see who exactly, this newest revenant is. What he finds is certainly interesting, and he spends a day going through the records of Jason Todd's life, death, and subsequent resurrection, as well as lists of those the Red Hood has avenged or helped.
And Ancients are the lists long. There are Gothamites who were killed and avenged by the Red Hood, Gothamites who worked for him and are singing his praises, Gothamites who never met him but saw the good he was doing.
So, Danny's decision is as follows: he will head to the mortal world and fix whatever is wrong with this guy's core, and, as compensation for the accidental revival, subsequent trauma, and as thanks for helping so many of his subjects, the Red Hood will receive protection from all things undead, dead, or thereabouts, one of the rare medals of honor that the ghost zone bestows upon very helpful citizens, and Danny will make Crime Alley and the Bowery his official haunt.
It's simple enough. One Tuesday night, he sneaks into the current safehouse, leaves the medal and an official looking letter explaining it, fixes the Lazarus Pit Rage, and delineates the Red Hood's new haunt based on the directions from Gotham, who is more than happy to help after seeing her favorite child recognized for his good deeds.
Jason wakes up that Wednesday morning acutely aware of three muggings happening in Crime Alley, with the Pit Rage nothing more than a bad memory, and a medal on his kitchen table recognizing him for services to the Crown of the Dead, including avenging wronged souls.
He decides to just take the weird omniscient sense of stuff going wrong in the Alley at face value because he doesn't know what the fuck is happening.
Later, when Batman tries to enter the Alley, he finds himself unable to step past the border.
Paranoia ensues.
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dalennaugw · 10 months ago
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Adding on some extra info from discussions that have been going on in light of this, since at the time I went to reblog, it hadn't been put up yet.
It's been determined that these guys are trawling through the GW2 tags specifically, including the racial tags (like #sylvari and #gw2 asura, etc.) for their AI generation data. From the sounds of it, we're talking screencaps and their edits as well as art.
This is a great time to share around the tools we have to combat them again.
Glaze is a defensive tool that helps to protect your work, specifically, from being scraped.
Nightshade is an offensive tool that helps to poison the datasets of these AI generators. It works best when used collectively by multiple artists.
Both of these tools are being developed by the University of Chicago, which recommends using both if you can (but at least using Glaze if Nightshade's effects are too visible on your stuff for your liking). They're also working on integrating the two tools so we can use them together.
Finally, there's this watermark tutorial as an alternative if you need it.
I want to extend proper credit to the people who provided these links again, and who have been informing us about what these clowns are doing, but I don't want to paint unnecessary targets on anyone's backs. Sorry.
Kick GW2 Warp to the curb and make sure you're protecting your stuff, guys. If you didn't think you had to worry about it before, it sure looks like we do now.
Don't let your perceived level of skill, your online presence, etc. make you think you're not a likely target, because other people thinking they didn't have already found their works being stolen for this crap.
Take care of yourselves about this.
I had opened up the GW2 Warp discord to troubleshoot an issue I was having and saw they had a channel for "free A.I character art." Immediately left the discord and uninstalled the program. Just so people are aware.
#reblog#i'm so tired of these tech bro idiots thinking they can and should use this stuff to get a one-up on artists and other creatives#so many artists' livelihoods being threatened or ruined and so many other artists now being afraid to create and/or share their stuff#just because these people are taking 'art isn't real work' to its logical extreme#if it's not something you can immediately pick up on without challenge then that means it takes WORK to do it#which means it should be respected AS WORK and compensated for AS WORK#no artist is any more special with their eyes or hands/limbs/etc. than the average person#they're just willing to look at things in ways others don't think to look#and they care enough about making their art TO ACTUALLY WORK ON IT#it's not talent man. it's priorities#if you don't prioritize the work in building your skills to create then yes - you're not going to be good at actually creating#BUT THE THING IS#THAT'S EASY TO CHANGE#YOU CAN -ALWAYS- DECIDE TO WORK ON DEVELOPING ARTISTIC SKILL THROUGH LEARNING AND PRACTICE#and i promise you that once you do that you WILL get better!#but you need to actually decide to do that you need to actually DO start that work#if you're only ever looking at ways to cheat or to skip out on the effort and the time and are still expecting good results#then you're a fool.#you're a fool who's tremendously offensively harmfully disrespectful not only to ARTISTS but to YOURSELF and your own capacities as a person#be better. by everything that's holy and not BE BETTER. godsdamn.
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sashayed · 22 days ago
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I haven't said as much about electoral politics this year as I have in previous cycles, because I am exhausted like everyone else and have nothing new or helpful to add. That is still true, so caveat lector I guess lmao!!! Happy American Election Day Fellow Sufferers!!
I have been experiencing an internal backlash the last few years to my extremely Sorkinpilled D.C. private school upbringing -- my childhood spent as a kind of convent schoolgirl in the faith of The System Is Good If We All Participate, which of course has a uhhh let's say generously a minimal engagement with the ways in which many of us are by design shut out of participating. I don't think idealism is necessarily childish, but I think MY idealism certainly has childish qualities, an undergirding of 90s feel-goodism, of civic participation as a subtle ego stroke and of voting -- although I would never have consciously put it this way -- as a way to feel superior to people who don't vote.
Lately there has bubbled up in me a sludgy, adolescent fury at this whole stupid country that has made it very very hard to feel like I should do even the bare minimum. For these people? AMERICANS? The ones that not only want Donald Trump to be president but saw what happened the first time and were like, We love this, do it again but worse? Whatever, fuckos. "I hope you people get your dearest wish and it chews you to death slowly," I may have thought.
I have also thought: why is it so controversial to ask elected officials to stop funding a genocide? Why are we treating people who make that ask, who are watching the current administration directly fund death on a mass scale and objecting to that choice, as if they are being babies and just need to get over it? How are they supposed to get over it? Why is anybody over it?
Anyway all this means that I, a known chipper door-knocker and caller of congresspeople, have been pretty low-key this current cycle. I think that is OK. I don't want to make this a big dramatic confessional about how I didn't write enough postcards or whatever. We all get exhausted and this was my turn.
But it has also been an illuminating cycle in that it's made it clear to me how much at my big age I still want politics to make me feel good, and when they don't, I still have the urge to throw a lil tantrum about it! I can get very superior and intellectual about how right-wing operatives manipulate their voters emotionally WITHOUT EVEN NOTICING that I too have been manipulated, in my case into the feeling that nonparticipation is a kind of revolutionary act.* Just absolute "I threw it on the GROUND" logic happening inside my head. "Maybe if I don't vote I will be doing Quiet Quitting, which is uhhhhh anticapitalist." I'm not a part of your system!!!
Anyway, I am trying to have self-compassion about it, and one way for me to do that is to project my internal experience onto a theoretical reader. That would be you, my imaginary friend who clicked on this post for some reason even though you have already decided not to vote! I just want to tell you that I am more sympathetic to your point of view than I have ever been in my whole life, and I'm sorry I have historically been a glib, holier-than-thou asshole about it in ways that may actually have made you MORE resistant to civic participation.
And you're right: it doesn't make that big a difference whether I personally vote or not, or whether you do. But if there are hundreds of us, and I think there are, then each of those people individually do starts to matter.
I guess I would humbly request that you and I both pay attention to what people who need help are actually asking for. I would ask that we both notice who wins when we abdicate this single responsibility. I would remind us both that participating in the electoral process is not some kind of weird either-or with participating in decentralized community building and mutual aid, and the best people we know do both. Isn't it interesting that somehow, insidiously, without even consciously becoming aware of this belief, we have started to think that you can only do one or the other? Who is telling us that story? Who does it serve?
Anyway. I took the stupid 90 minute round trip to my polling place which was VERY hot for some reason and I stood in the stupid line and some babies waved at me and I cast my vote for Kamala Harris and I'm glad I did it in the same way I'm glad after I do the dishes or take a stupid shower. Doing work doesn't always feel like anything. I also saw a really wonderful small black and white dog that I thought was a cat on a leash. I would not have seen that dog if I hadn't gone to vote. So politics can still make you feel good!!!
*I mean all this analysis is cute and everything BUT ALSO i did switch antidepressants twice in the last year, an astonishingly grueling process that almost made me [affect the trout population]. Could these things be related? hmmmmmmm, don't understand the question, won't respond to it.
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cosmic-expressions · 6 months ago
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⋮ ♯; ⤷ hypnotized .ᐟ
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i can't escape you, i'm hypnotized ―୨୧⋆˚
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dan heng x fem!reader; smut, fluff, no plot; first time, emotional, awkward, a bit vanilla(?); multiple rounds, multiple orgasms, missionary, cowgirl; needy & whiney dan heng agenda; unprotected sex (but wrap it up irl); praise, marking, pet names, groping and touching and in general lots of smooching; overstimulation if you squint;
wc: 4.4k
a/n: hello on a new acc and idk what else to say except prepare for lots of nasty thoughts in the future. peace out. and quick taglist: @kuniihoonii @hoonieswhore (sorry if you didn't want to, I thought you'd like some more dan heng content by yours truly)
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the night isn't so early, but it's not extremely late either; or at least you think so, since it's kind of hard to tell time while traveling through space.
but despite that, you're not sleepy; it's actually surprising because you're laying on the pile of bedsheets dan heng calls his bed. granted, the pile is comfortable... sometimes too comfortable, but a proper mattress wouldn't hurt... especially wouldn't hurt his back. and yours, by the way.
prepped on your elbows, you're laying on your stomach with legs up in the air, wiggling them back and forth, while you read a random novel you found in the pits of the archives. you had no idea the bookshelves would contain normal books, let alone such a genre: erotica.
despite its lack of logic or laws of physics, the plot is surprisingly good... or at least good enough to kill the boredom that's washing over you. the silence, at first calming and comforting, soon became too loud, as loud as silence can get. especially when one misses their beloved.
sighing, you close the book and look around the room again. dimly lit, enough to read comfortably, seems... empty. well, no wonder why, because there's only you in there. but usually... usually, even at such hour, dan heng is back, rummaging through the piles of sacred and not texts, books, and other papers he sorts. even if he's quiet, no music is playing, it's still not complete silence. the sheets of paper sweetly swoosh over each other, the pen smoothly traces letters, and the overall atmosphere is... comforting. but without him, no matter how many books you'll go through just to make some noise, it's still empty.
"here you are..."
when dan heng sees you on his... so-called bed, he can't help but sigh in relief. something about seeing you so comfortable in his room makes his heart flutter, even if it's him who had to get comfortable with this. when he lets you in in his little cave, you're a part of it; it's not his room without you around.
"where else should i be?" you frown slightly, confused by his words, features softening the second you hear his melodic voice.
"in my arms, obviously."
you laugh in disbelief, not expecting such a cheesy line from him. but when you see how one corner of his lips curves millimeters up in a snug expression, you can guess he was taking lessons from march and caelus.
"then come here. i've been waiting for you..." you throw the book aside and roll on your side with open arms. that smile of yours, one who could fight the sun with its brightness and warmth, is enough for him to cave in.
but he stops when he notices the title of the book you were reading.
he averts his gaze immediately, but the way his ears redden tell you everything. it wasn't a book from the express's archives. it was from his own collection.
you say nothing; instead, you cuddle with dan heng, limbs tangled and bodies squeezed together in a tight embrace. the moment is serene for a second, with your bodies tangled together and warming each other, being vulnerable and protective at the same time. with closed eyes, both of you relish in this moment of silence; not the empty one, but loud, loud, and intense with all the feelings you two have for each other.
dan heng tries, he really does; he doesn't want to put silent pressure on you, so he bottles up all the need for you. it gets to the point where every single one of his nerves is on fire, every muscle gets tense, and his body gets really warm. warm to the point that even you can feel it.
"is it about that book?"
"what?" he's doomed. he's so over. he's so-
"i know it's a book from your collection. but i don't know why you read such stuff... do you gather intel for... our first time?"
your giggle is cute and innocent, but dan heng can't take it anymore. he's intoxicated by you, swooned over you... straight-up horny for you and he can't keep it in his pants any longer.
"yes." he breathes out, heart thumping in his chest like a ticking bomb. taking a deep breath doesn't help him one bit, and when you look at him with lustful sparkles in your big, lovely eyes while you speak... he feels physical pain.
"are you ready, then? i know i am."
apparently, dan heng wasn't the brightest one, because all the signs, all the teasing you treated him with, were not enough for him to notice. but now it's the time. and both of you know that.
maybe he is horny to the point where he's like a ticking bomb, but he's still a clueless gentleman. his lips clash with yours, intertwining in a slow yet passionate manner while he lays you down on the sheets. your hands cupping his face, the soft skin of your palms, and the sweet taste of your lips make dan heng breath even heavier, coming in ragged pants.
he wants you so bad; to taste you, explore you, praise and worship you, just like you deserve. dan heng never caught feelings that caliber for anyone but you, and this? this is testing his limits. he's so close to cumming in his pants at the mere thought of your naked body, and yet here he is, hands under your t-shirt, reaching for the hem to take it off. he's excited, he's needy, he's so eager; aeons, he loves you so much. and he wants to show you how much he loves you.
"d-dan heng... give me a second."
your voice rips him out of his thoughts. then he realizes your top is off; you're left in a bra and shorts, while he's still fully dressed. that is not fair, he thinks.
"i'll- i'll take mine off, too-" he trails off, reaching for the zippers, quickly getting out of the upper part of his clothing.
"that's not- that wasn't the matter, but- thank you nonetheless," you chuckle and breathe heavily, the sight of your boyfriend's torso, making you only more aroused. trying to reassure yourself, you smile at him softly, hesitating a little to say anything.
"i love you. i love you so much. you know that, right? there's no one else for me but you."
you almost tear up; it's the first time he said it out loud. he told you at the beginning that it's hard for him, and yet... here he is. vulnerable with his emotions, ready to be vulnerable with you.
dan heng is fully aware of how this moment affects you; how it must be hard to feel so... exposed after years of trying to cover up. yes, he's in literal pain still, but he's ready to take it slow and eventually fuck his fist rather than hurt you in any way.
the way his eyes glimmer in the dim light, how they sparkle and glow with nothing but love and devotion while he speaks... that's it. you know he's not lying. you know he's genuine with you, and that he's ready to sacrifice himself for you...
you unclasp your bra and put it aside, getting rid of your shorts too. and when he notices the confidence, love, and commitment, he unzips his pants in seconds.
"may i- kiss you again?" dan heng breathes out, looking you in the eyes and getting lost in them immediately. when you grab his face in your palms and kiss him with urgency he never felt from you, he gives in.
"touch me. everywhere you want, but not there, yet."
"your wish is my command, princess," he mutters back, kissing you again and moving one of his hands to your waist, caressing the soft skin and curves of your body.
you feel his leaking cock against your thigh and by aeons, is it intoxicating. the thoughts to jump on him and fuck him until you pass out are loud, but, surprisingly, you can compose yourself for now. just savor this moment, feel it, and prepare by the way, you say to yourself.
and aeons, do you feel things.
his hands, big yet calloused, touch you so gently, almost as if it's a little fluffy cloud tickling your skin. he continues to spread his warmth across your body, placing his hands everywhere he can; waist, hips, thighs, belly – you name it, he touches it. but he doesn't dare to even think about touching your pussy yet, even if he feels how wet it already is.
dan heng growls quietly, breaking the kiss and resting his forehead on yours with eyes closed, trying to compose himself again. it's hard, with his thoughts racing and spiraling down to his cock, he can't do this anymore, the battles persists and he's not the bravest soldier...
"dan heng? dan heng, can you look at-"
"no, i- i can't. i'm losing control already and- admiring your beauty like that is too much- i'll go to the bathroom and-"
"dan heng!"
the slight bonk you give his head with your hand gets him out of his thoughts, and he finally looks at you with the pain he's trying to suppress. you reassure him with a soft smile before continuing what you wanted to say.
"you can put it in... but slowly. you're- you're quite big and i'm not sure if it fits-"
"i'll make it fit, baby. it'll fit and it'll feel so good- but that's for another time."
the eagerness audible in his voice is adorable, making you chuckle and flustered. he kisses you lips again, exchanging saliva in such a needy and sloppy way. all you can do in such sudden moment is gasp and melt, letting his tongue explore your mouth.
you can feel how his cock is twitching in anticipation and need against your thigh, and the thought of finally feeling it inside makes you dizzy and wet; not in your wettest dreams you imagined his cock to be so... delightful.
"ready?" dan heng suddenly pulls away and breaks the kiss, looking into your eyes for consent. the way you stare at him with excitement, lust, and trust sends him into overdrive. he's not going bonkers thanks to the last thin strings of self-control.
"ready."
he almost drools and cums on the spot when he feels your dripping wet pussy. smearing the precum and your arousal over your entrance, dan heng lets out a few moans and whimpers; his cock is already so sensitive and the warmth of your folds inviting him almost make him cry.
"i love you so much, baby." he's mumbling into your ear while pushing his cock into your pussy, slowly but surely filling you up. the whimpers you two make mingle in the air, making a new sonata that's meant only for you, for this moment, never played again. this is it, this is the moment of pure bliss, where the usually closed heart of your boyfriend is pouring out all the love he has for you. only for you.
dan heng groans and whimpers in suffering, trying his best not to push himself all in at once. he breathes in and out, warm air getting out of his lungs is tickling your neck and ear, making you even more aroused.
"more."
he stops existing for a second, taking in your word. it's only one word and yet it's like a spark to the dynamite of need inside him.
"i need- more of you, you feel so- good," you start babbling, also getting lost in the pleasure. the soft yet demanding stare you give him says a lot; you're sure of what you say, you're sure what you want, and you're sure you want him.
"just a second, baby- i want to stretch you, not rip you in two."
the quiet whine you let out makes him whimper and throb inside you. he's so close to cumming, so close to giving it up... but he needs to wait a little more.
he can't do that when you suddenly cup his face and place a set of sloppy kisses all over his lips and jaw, whimpering and moaning softly.
you relax further, the reactions you get out of him with your little teasing are so cute that you can't help and giggle softly. rolling your hips a little, you help him push his cock further, slowly stretching you in such a delicious way.
"baby, no- i'm gonna-!"
dan heng tries to stop you and your greedy pussy, but he's helpless when his cock is hugged by your tight, velvety walls. with closed eyes, he shudders and rests his forehead on your forehead while he cums, his cock twitching and painting your inner walls already.
"fuck- i'm sorry, baby," he starts, his body still shaking as he speaks. "i couldn't help it- it won't happen again, i promise, baby-"
"you may think i'm crazy or twisted, but i find it hot."
his skin is warm under your palms as you soothe his shoulders and arms, trying to calm him down. with his head still resting on your shoulder, dan heng pants and tries to catch his breath, kissing your skin softly.
"it happens. it's normal and it's fine. i didn't mind it," you continue to comfort him, your soft fingertips brushing over his skin. your breathing is steady, heart beats only a little faster in the excitement as you want him to breathe with you. and he does after a short while, his thoughts also halting to a stop. "if you want, we can stop it here-"
"no. i want to make you feel so good like you never felt before- i want to fuck you so good that you'll get wet when thinking about it again."
such a bold statement makes your eyes widen in surprise, especially when you can hear how determined he is for it to happen. your breath gets stuck in your lungs as you try to pry your inner whore away.
"as long as- as you'll be careful and loving... then i don't- i don't mind."
a consensus has been made between your voice of reason and inner whore, both sides getting what they want; a good and sweet lovemaking session with the only man that there is for you.
dan heng chuckles and lifts his head, looking you in the eyes with undying devotion and utmost adoration as he seeks the confirmation in your stare. seeing your flushed skin, body shivering in anticipation, and lips slightly parted, he doesn't need to be told twice. placing a soft kiss on your forehead, he rests his own on yours and stares right into you eyes, stare piercing right into your soul.
"i'll make you feel so good, baby- you'll feel amazing, i promise-" he continues his ramblings, at this rate getting delirious at the mere thought of how cute you'll look when cumming around him and because of him.
his cock slides out and inside you again with ease, stretching and filling your tight pussy to the brim, knocking the air out of your lungs. gasping and moaning, you reach for his hand, needing to hold it through the whole session.
you two are so needy for each other's body, soul, mind, and heart and it's showing in every little move. dan heng quickly intertwines your hand with his, holding it gently yet in a firm grip. you put your other palm at the back of his head, and with fingers fidgeting with his hair, you pull him closer for a heated and full of devotion kiss.
he's waiting patiently for your walls to adjust to his size, but when they squeeze him so deliciously, it's hard to resist. his kisses and touches get impatient, more needy, and more possessive. taking a handful of one of your breasts, he squeezes the soft flesh and brushes his fingers across you nipple just to tease you and elicit more of those cute sounds from you.
"f-fuck, dan heng-" you whimper softly right into his lips, the stretch being overwhelmingly amazing. your breathing is ragged and shaky, thoughts race out of your mind at the feeling of his cock inside you.
"baby, you're so- so tight, aeons-" he starts grunting and moaning, finally rolling his hips further into your core. "your pussy is so good i- i can't control myself anymore, baby-"
the heated kisses you two exchange while mingled together make you both even more sweaty, smell of sex filling the room, soaking into the walls, bedsheets, everywhere where it can, just to remind you later how fiery and passionate your love is.
dan heng explores your body further with his free hand, the warm palm hovering over your skin sets your senses aflame further. his soft touch is addicting, paired with his throbbing cock thrusting in and out of your pussy makes such a dangerous mix. his hand roams over your breasts, stomach, sides, everywhere he can reach. when he reaches your hips and thighs, you react immediately, making his heart flutter and mind fuzzy with excitement.
"you like being touched here?" he asks softly, fingers brushing over your thighs, from the inner part to the outer, up and down, repeat. you don't say anything, yet he knows the answer to his question right after; the way your pussy flutters around his length, how your legs shake, how you moan louder – all of it makes his head spin and causes a wicked grin to appear on his face.
you squeeze his hand and pull him closer, hand on the back of his head pulling him in for another sloppy kiss. but you trail off your lips to the side, kissing and licking your way from the corner of his lips to his jaw, neck, shoulder, and collarbone, leaving soft marks with almost every kiss. moaning into his skin, you nibble on the sensitive parts of his neck, the need to claim him and show everyone who he belongs to being too alluring to resist.
"oh, fuck-!" dan heng is not prepared for you marking him up but aeons does he love it. tilting his head to the side, he gives you easier access to all the places he wants- no, he needs- to be marked. his breath gets shallow and ragged, cock throbbing and pulsing inside you because of how much he loves this; the marks that he will show with pride, announcing to everyone that he's yours and yours only.
his quiet whimpers and moans sound so pretty, paired with the squelching noises of his cock pumping itself into your pussy give a lovely one-of-a-kind concerto meant only for the two of you; a concerto about desire, love, and trust, a tribute to love you two hold for each other.
"d-dan heng! ah-! you feel- so good- ah!" crying out in pleasure, you arch your back with a loud moan when the tip of his cock nudges at that one sweet spot, having you sob and scream his name further.
it's like the more you scream his name, the more dan heng goes insane. with his eyes closed, he's panting into your neck, sliding inside you with ease and need; he needs you to cream around him, he needs to feel your cum coating his already sensitive length, he needs to hear you more, even if your throat is already dry because of the constant screams.
"mmh- baby, you're doing so good for me, fuck- keep going, moan my name- you're such a good- good fucking girl-"
your thighs shake and squeeze around his waist while your hips stutter, your whole body being lit on fire when you cum, gushing around him and squeezing his cock deeper inside. crying out, your whole body stiffens as you lose control, pussy throbbing, creaming, and milking him with need of his load.
seeing you like this, body flushed, pleasure written all over your face, with one hand holding his and the other one gripping the sheets... dan heng can't take it anymore. he's cumming right after, thick load after load filling your greedy little pussy up to the brim, as it milks his length further.
he rests his head in the crook of your neck, panting and smiling, placing soft and lazy kisses over your neck and shoulder. you still squeeze his hand, placing the other around him, soothing his back with your light and gentle touch. nuzzling your cheeks against his, you try to calm your labored breathing.
"mmm- you did so well, darling," dan heng muses quietly, finally lifting his head and looking at you, eyes full of love and adoration. he grips your hip softly, caressing your skin with his fingers. "are you tired, baby?"
"not that much," you answer, voice quiet and ragged with heavy breaths, as you try to calm down. the intensity of the moment got to you, and now you need a little more time to come back to your senses.
"then- can we go another round?"
you freeze, confused yet... enticed by the offer. you can feel how his cock is still hard, twitching and throbbing, waiting for you. aeons, it feels so good.
with one, swift motion, you pull him closer, kissing him with newly-found intensity, one he never imagined you could even feel for him, boring loser dan heng.
"let's go."
letting out a small chuckle of relief, dan heng looks at you for a second, admiring your sparkling eyes, flushed face, beautiful features. he can't help it; he dives in for another kiss, sloppy and messy, whimpering softly into your lips. the feeling of his breath on your face, how he tries to compose himself further, it's so extremely hot and tempting.
"are you really so needy? for me?" you tease him, knowing smirk glued to your face when dan heng pulls away for a second, his head quickly turning back to you, completely forgetting what he was looking for.
"y-yes..."
chuckling and cooing, you grab his chin, firmly but not strong enough to hurt; turning his red face to yours, lips millimeters away, you smirk again. as you look into his eyes, your fingers graze over his chin.
"do you want me to take care of you, then?"
his heart stops for a second, mind disappearing right after. with lips slightly parted, he's looking you in the eyes, stare hazed with desire devotion, and everything he's holding for you.
"yes, please."
quickly yet clumsily, you switch positions, with you now straddling his lap, dan heng sitting on his pile of blankets, staring at you with his pretty, pleading eyes. his hard cock nestled between your thighs is leaking precum again, the essence bubbling at the tip, smearing over your skin.
dan heng, the usually composed and collected archivist, is now getting putty in your hands, melting under you, mewling and whimpering for you to take care of him and his length that's aching for you. this mess of horny, insatiable, and devoted nerd that wasn't touched by anyone else is for you and you only. and it's an incredible sight.
"baby-" he's whining, quiet moans slipping past his slightly parted, swollen from all the kisses lips, covered in spit and sweat; the glistening and plump lips you love to devour.
"what is it?" your eyes wander from his lips to his slowly teary eyes, eyelashes sweetly batting the tears and sweat away; but it's his lips that's your weakness. in seconds if not less, you press a sweet yet passionate kiss, tongues dancing with each other as dan heng lets you devour his mouth, whimpering and almost cumming at the mere taste of your sweet lips.
"please, baby- i need you- i need you so bad," he's mumbling, whining and losing everything, ready to cry; all he needs is you and your sweet pussy, yet you keep it all away from him, like a big meanie!
he's kissing the corner of your lips, your cheeks, neck, everywhere he can reach, softly pecking your silky skin while maintaining eye contact, his big, puppy eyes pleading for you to ease his needs. "please baby, i need to- i need to be inside- i need your pussy so bad-"
"i got you, i got you-" you mumble out, needy for him as well. it's a rare occasion to have dan heng all for yourself, so you decide to use this opportunity.
slowly, you guide his tip inside your slick entrance, sucking him inside bit by bit. you need to take deep breaths to calm down and not straight-up impale yourself, but aeons, his cock just feels so good...
finally, you take his length all inside, moaning out loud with a little cry, his throbbing cock finally nestled deep where it belongs.
"mmh- fuck! d-dan heng, you feel- so good-" breathing out, you shiver and throw your head back, chest moving up and down rapidly as you try to continue breathing. with hands on his shoulders, you start to bounce on him, his cock easily sliding in and out as you ride both of your brains out.
you can't even focus on how pretty he looks in his fucked-out state, you yourself giving in to the pleasure. eyes rolled back, mouth parted – the stimulation and overall experience being quite intense, lots of emotions, need, and urgency make you two go non-verbal for a while; only deep panting and whimpers audible throughout the room.
"d-darling, oh fuck! so good-" dan heng lets out slurred words, eyes back in his skull as he starts to drool. quickly wiping his lips, he lets out another pretty moan, pulling your face closer to his own, and kissing you with urgency. his big hands, one on the back of your head and the other one on your thigh, hold you with care, not pushing, not pulling that roughly. he's powerless, too vulnerable, and hazy with lust to even think.
with your pussy hugging his cock so tight he's close again, legs shaking and hips jerking up to meet yours mid-way. you're close too, body shaking slightly, jolts of pleasure coursing through you as you pick up your pace. the need washes over you two, mingling your bodies together as you stay nestled in each other's embrace, fucking your brains out and confessing all the pent-up emotions.
your whimpers, his moans, and screams of each other's name echo through the archives for few hours straight, as you two just can't get enough, ready to pass out then stop. the few short breaks you two take are long enough for yearning to build up again, the whole cycle repeating again.
thank aeons the rest of the crew was out, as march and caelus would complain for the next week again.
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| MLIST | if you liked this piece, please reblog! 𓆩♡𓆪
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@ cosmic-expressions / @ deka-dent 2024, do not repost pls
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violetszone · 1 year ago
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Hurtful Dependant
Charles x fem!reader
From this request
Summary: You have been in a relationship with Charles for a long time and you were engaged.You were always getting bad comments like other wags but receiving threats and scary letters was starting to scare you. You didn't mention these to Charles, and you didn't expect to come face to face with the person who sent you these threats at the Monaco race.
WARNINGS: knife, stalker, violance,blood etc. not edited.
A/N: I'm sorry for the logical error I was in physiology class when I wrote this.
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You never imagined that your fiancé being a famous F1 driver would cause anything to happen to you.You have been in a relationship with Charles for a long time and recently got engaged, but for a while now, Charles' fans started to cross borders.Gathering in front of Charles' house and waiting for him was the most uncomfortable thing they'd ever done, or so you thought.
When you started dating Charles three years ago, you initially received both bad and good comments, like every other wag, but with Charles' help, you learned not to care about them.After you got engaged, everything suddenly started to get scary. First, you started receiving threats from unknown accounts on Instagram. But you didn't mention these to Charles so as not to escalate the situation and they stopped doing this.
Everything went well for a few months. When Charles left for the races after the winter break, you were left alone at home and scary letters started arriving at your house, along with a few photos of you leaving work or doing something else outside.This was getting really scary, but this time you didn't say anything because you didn't want to worry Charles while he was away.
When it was time for the Monaco race, Charles had finally returned home and you were relieved. You missed your fiancée very much and you felt like you could take your mind off these terrible things. You spent time with Charles before the Monaco race you both took time to relax and satisfy your longing.
You were going to watch the Monaco race with Charles. Charles got up early in the morning and went out. You were preparing breakfast for you. When you received a message on your phone, you smiled, thinking it was from Charles. You looked at your phone. It was from an unknown number and it said, "Watch your back." And there was a photo just taken of you. This made you nervous again, even though you tried not to show it to Charles when he came, you felt terrible.
You went to the paddock for the race, everything was fine, but you still had a bad feelingYou felt as if someone was following you, and you even turned and looked behind you from time to time. Monaco was an important race and you decided to tell Charles what happened after the race. You spent time together in the Ferrari hospitality and garage until the race.Even though the race was tense, Charles came in second. When he got out of the car, he first hugged the team and you, then said he was going to the cooling room.
There were a few minutes until they got to the podium, so you started to go to the front with everyone else, but someone whose face you couldn't see in the crowd grabbed you and said that Charles called you and that it was urgent. At that moment, without thinking, you went to where he said, a little outside the paddock, and you had no chance of reaching anyone because he didn't have his phone with you. As you were walking in the dark, you saw someone far away.
"Charles? What's the problem? What are you doing there?" I called out to the person in the distance First a laugh was heard, then a woman's voice sent a shiver down my spine. "How naive you are. I warned you so many times that if you had listened to me none of this would have had to happen." While you were stepping back in fear, she started walking towards you from the darkness.
"what do you want from me? Isn't what you've been doing for a few months enough?" When I heard the podium music from afar, I looked there and when I looked in front of me again, the girl was in front of me now. "No it's not enough. You are the only reason I can't reach him, you are the biggest obstacle, and as if that wasn't enough, you got engaged to him" her voice scratched my ear.
"you are crazy" While she was laughing again, I hit my back against the wall, I had no place left to escape She came closer and suddenly wrapped her hand around my throat and started squeezing, "You made me crazy.If you didn't exist Charles would be mine but don't worry I will solve this quickly" I couldn't breathe but I started struggling. The girl was stronger than me. When I kicked her leg, she retreated a little and punched me in the face. I fell to the ground.
When you could breathe again, you started coughing.You tried to get up from the ground but you fell so hard and it hurt, this time she kicked you and took a knife out of her pocket. "don't make my job difficult" She spoke melodiously. When I saw the knife, I started to crawl backwards "Please don't do it, are you crazy? If you kill me, you will go to jail. And if you hurt me Charles will never look at you anyway" My words made her even more angry.
She leaned down next to me, held my face with one hand, and slowly rubbed the knife in her hand against my face, leaving a small cut. I sighed in pain, but I couldn't move because if I struggled, she would pierce my face with knife.While the sounds of celebration were coming from the side of the podium again, we both looked in that direction.You took her distraction as an opportunity and got up from the ground and started running towards the paddock. When you fell to the ground, you hurt your arm and leg, so it was hurting and it was slowing you down. You could feel blood coming out of the cut on your face, you could hear the girl running after you.
As you were entering the paddock, you felt a sudden pain in your leg, screamed and fell to the ground. When you looked at your leg, you saw that she threw the knife at your leg and there was a huge cut, but because you screamed, a few guards around looked at where you fell to the ground. This time, you had no strength left to get up from the ground. While the guards were coming to you, you heard the girl running away.
You were semi-conscious  from pain and shock while the guards were helping you.What you don't know is that Charles was worried and scared when he didn't see you when he got to the podium. As soon as the podium was over, he asked everyone about you and looked around for you. While he was looking for you, he saw the guard carrying you towards the emergency room at the entrance of the paddock and ran there.
When you opened your eyes, Charles was next to you, holding your hand. You squinted your eyes because of the light. His voice was mixed with anger. "Who did this to you, Y/N? Why didn't you say anything to me my love?" You shook his hand tiredly "I didn't want to worry you, at first I thought it was a normal fan, you know.but later-" You didn't want to continue. Charles looked at you with worry while stroking your hair.
"I should have known, Y/N, what if something had happened to you, you should have told me baby" Charles got up from his seat and hugged you. "I am sorry" you said in a weak voice. "No, I'm sorry, I should have protected you." You shook your head no. You spent time there for a while, you were better as they looked at your wounds.
A few days later Charles released a statement and everyone was surprised but very angry at the person who did this.Even though it took a long time for you to heal, it was nothing serious. Still, Charles did not leave your side and immediately informed someone to find the person who did this to you. Even if something bad happened to you, having a caring fiancé next to you helped you recover quickly.And unlike the girl who did this to you, the bond between you got stronger.
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atlasofoverthinking · 4 months ago
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The Problem with the League of Villains
this is just me ranting after reading many people say that the lov deserved a better ending (i agree with them don't worry). most of that stuff has already been said but i'm bored and need something to write
so why is everyone disappointed?
by definition, an antagonist is someone that goes against the main character(s) and a villain is someone who does immoral and/or illegal things (wow, shocking)
so by definition, the league of villains is aptly named. shigaraki and dabi are mass murderers, toga is a killer too, and even if the others are 'less dangerous' they're all guilty of terorism and kidnapping a teenager.
not nice, right? then why would anyone would want them to have a good ending?
long story short: horikoshi made the league too sympathetic and relatable
when horikoshi has decided to make them funny, he's decided to make them likeable. that's not enough though. you can find a fictional villain funny and not root for them (for some reason the examples that comes to my mind are the disney villains. captain hook is hilarious but no one wants him to win)
the cause of everyone's disappointment is the relatable part. everyone in the league has gone through stuff viewers can relate. touya, shigaraki and toga have been abused; twice has mental health issues (and stuggling to get a job is relatable too lmao); spinner has been discriminated against... you get the idea
and even without knowing their backstory, most of the league's fights can be considered noble: they want to change society and make the world a better place. to take a more precise example, the league kidnapped bakugou because they thought he had gone through similar struggle as them
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(this is mr compress talking in chapter 85) as far as i've seen, most of the fandom either think bakugou being chained and muzzled at the end of the sport festival was just comic relief or agree that it was fucked up
so yeah, you can't put a group of people rejected by society, who just want a better world and expect people to not like them
and that's why their ending is disappointing (the rest contains heavy spoilers of the last few chapters of mha)
they're all either in jail or six feet underground. we rationally could understand it, they're all criminals/villains so of course they wouldn't get a happy ending and face consequences for their actions. the only one who could have gotten away with it is shigaraki because of all the grooming/brainwashing he's gone through and maybe toga because she's a child
but if you relate to a character, you want them to get a happy ending. of course fans would want dabi to be at peace, but instead he's forced to spend his last moments being stared at by his abuser). of course fans would want shigaraki to be free from afo (but instead his only freedom was death). of course fans would want toga to be understood and cared for (but she never had that opportunity)
that's not very 'save to win' out of you horikoshi
maybe it's just a shortcut made by the fandom, but the league are seen more as victims of abuse than actual criminals. i mean, what's more important in dabi's story? the fact that he burned himself alive after overworking himself to get his abusive father's attention, or the fact that he's burned people alive? probably both, but there's more focus on the first element.
and obviously we would want abuse victims to get a happy ending
basically, their ending isn't coherent with what we've seen of them, and that's why people are disappointed
btw, the same logic applies to stain. some fans agree with stain's reasoning bc he's fighting against corruption. of course, his logic is stupid and he's delusional but he's introduced not long after we've discovered shouto's past. you can't say "one of the most popular heroes is abusing + all he wants is to get n°1 to satisfy his own ego" and then follow with "see that guy fighting against corruption? he's bad, don't do that"
the clever way to make sure no one would agree with stain would have been to make the heroes fight against injustice with good methods. i live for the fanfics in which izuku takes down the hpsc
okay i'm done ranting thanks for reading
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jetii · 2 months ago
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Charting A New Course
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Pairing: Tech x fem!Reader / Tech x Jedi!Reader
Words: 6,219
Tags/Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, kissing and cuddling, Tech being a cutie bc that’s mandatory
Summary: You and Tech adjust to your new life together, and to your new home on Pabu.
A/N: For Anne @baddest-batchers 💙 Ily and thank you so much for the inspo, your continuous support, and for being such a light in this fandom!! This is set 2-3 months after the first two installments in the Tech x Sarad series(?). Chronologically it’s part 4 since there will be another (nsfw) part out next week.
Previous Work | Next Work | Masterlist
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It's strange for Tech to feel out of his depth, but the truth is, he is.
He's never been good at understanding people. Their thoughts, their actions, their feelings...they're a mystery to him. He's spent years trying to solve the puzzle, but there are too many pieces missing. Too many variables, too many unknowns.
He's given up, mostly. Decided that, sometimes, there are just things that are better left alone.
But, now, he has to try again. Because it's different. He's different.
And Sarad...
Well, Sarad is the biggest puzzle of them all.
You're the most intriguing, most confounding, most wonderful thing he's ever encountered. And he wants nothing more than to solve you. To unlock the mysteries of your heart, and to find out why you do the things you do. Why you stay.
Why you love him.
He knows, logically, that there are no simple answers. That, like the universe, your motivations are vast and complicated, and that they can't be distilled down to a single line of code. But, still, he wonders. He wonders, and he questions, and he hopes. He hopes, with a fierce desperation that surprises even him, that you'll never leave.
But, sometimes, he can't help but worry that, eventually, you will. That, one day, you'll realize that you're better off without him. That you'll grow tired of him, or bored, or frustrated, or simply change your mind. That you'll decide that the life he can offer you isn't enough. That the stars aren't worth it.
He worries, but he doesn't say anything. He's learned, through countless cycles, that the best way to solve a problem is to approach it objectively. That, sometimes, the answers aren't as clear as they seem.
So, instead, he does what he does best.
He observes.
Tech studies you, and watches you, and tries to understand. And, over time, he learns. He learns your habits, your likes and dislikes, your favorite foods and the songs you hum when you think no one's listening. He learns what makes you laugh, and what makes you angry, and what makes your eyes light up with joy. The things he never noticed, or never paid attention to, or never thought to ask about. He learns them all.
And, slowly, he begins to feel more comfortable around you. More secure.
Because, no matter how confusing you may be, you're always consistent.
You're quiet, and calm, and patient. You listen, and you watch, and you observe, just as much as he does. You understand him in a way that no one else does, and you never judge him for his oddities. You seem to appreciate them more than anything. And, sometimes, he finds himself doing things just because he knows you'll find them amusing. More so lately than ever.
He finds it curious, and slightly alarming, that he's beginning to change. That his habits are shifting, and his priorities are rearranging, and that his feelings are becoming clearer.
But, most of all, he finds it intriguing.
Because, now, when you smile, or laugh, or brush a strand of hair out of his face, he doesn't look away. He doesn't shy away from your touch, or avert his gaze. He holds it. And, when he does, his pulse quickens, and his cheeks flush, and his lips twitch upwards, almost without him noticing. He doesn't understand why, but it's become a habit, and one he doesn't mind indulging in.
You seem to notice the change, and you seem delighted by it. But, rather than question him about it, or draw attention to it, you simply smile. A small, knowing smile. One that's both pleased and mischievous, and one that makes his heart stutter.
You're smiling at him like that now. Tech knows he's been caught staring, and while it would normally annoy him, this time, he finds that he doesn't mind. In fact, he quite enjoys it.
He smiles back, a small twitch of his lips, and feels his heart beat a little faster. You're radiant, and beautiful, and his. You're his. And, somehow, the idea doesn't frighten him as much as it used to.
"What are you thinking about?" you ask, tilting your head slightly.
"You," he replies, his voice soft.
Your smile widens, and you lean in, pressing a kiss to his cheek. You reach in front of him, using your hand to push the last of the vegetables from your cutting board into the stew for him. He's been making an attempt to learn how to cook, and he's been finding it a useful distraction from his racing thoughts. Still, though, his focus isn't on the food. It's on you. Always on you.
"Any specific thoughts, or just general observations?"
"General, mostly," he replies, watching you as he stirs the mixture. "You seem happy."
"I am," you reply. "It's a good day."
"How can you tell?”
It's not a challenge. He's genuinely curious. You're always so calm, and serene, and at peace with the universe, and he's still trying to figure out how you manage it. He knows that part of it is the Force, and your connection to it, but there's more to it than that. There has to be.
"Hmmm..." You glance up at the ceiling, as if the answer is written on the wood. "It's hard to explain. I guess...I just feel it."
"That's not very scientific," he says, his lips twitching upwards. "Do you have any evidence to back up your claim?"
"None that you would accept," you chuckle. "But, I can tell. Just like you can tell when a storm is coming, or a plant needs more water. It's a feeling. An intuition."
"I see," he murmurs, his eyes drifting towards the window. It's overcast, and the wind is picking up, and the air is heavy with the scent of rain. It's the kind of day that usually has him retreating into his bunk, or burrowing into his work. The kind of day where he seeks out comfort and shelter and warmth.
"Don't worry," you say as if reading his thoughts. "We have a few hours before it starts. And the greenhouse should hold up. I reinforced the roof and walls yesterday."
"I didn't realize," he says, surprised, and he turns back to you. "I must have been distracted."
"It's alright," you assure him. "I know you were busy."
"With what?"
"Whatever was going on in that brilliant mind of yours," you say with a grin. You nudge him gently with your hip, and he feels his cheeks flush. "I didn't want to interrupt. You were so focused on whatever you were working on."
"I apologize," he murmurs. "I shouldn't have—"
"It's fine," you interrupt, placing a hand on his arm. "I know you get lost in your thoughts sometimes. It's nothing to apologize for. Besides, you needed the quiet."
He smiles at that. You always seem to know when he needs space. When his mind is too full, and his thoughts are too loud, and the only way to escape them is to lose himself in work. You've become an expert at reading his moods, and at taking care of him. And, even though it took him a while to adjust and accept it, he finds that he doesn't mind.
"Thank you," he says, his voice sincere. "You're always so thoughtful."
"Of course," you murmur, and your gaze drifts back towards the window.
He follows it, and his eyes settle on the clouds that are starting to gather on the horizon. The sky is a dark gray, and the air is cold and damp, and there's a faint rumble of thunder in the distance.
"I'd do anything for you, Tech.”
Tech pauses, his spoon hovering over the pot. The words are soft, and sincere, and they send a shiver down his spine. Because he knows you mean them. He knows, in his heart, that you'd never lie to him. Not about something like this. 
He's not sure how to respond, but he doesn't have to, because you're already continuing.
"I like seeing you like this," you say, a smile tugging at your lips. You turn away from the window, your eyes meeting his. "At peace. Happy."
"I like being like this," he replies. He lets the spoon rest against the rim of the pot and reaches out to take your hand. Your fingers interlace, and he marvels at how perfectly they fit together. At how easy it is, now, to express his affection. It's still not second nature, but it's not as difficult as it used to be. Not with you. "With you."
"You're different, lately," you note. "More...relaxed. I like it."
"Is that so?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes," you laugh. "It's nice."
"I suppose I have you to thank for that," he murmurs, his thumb rubbing absent-minded circles on your skin. "You've had quite the influence on me."
"Is that a good thing?"
"It is," he says, and the certainty in his voice surprises him. He doesn't question it, though. "I'm trying to learn how to let go. To be content with the here and now, and to not always be thinking about the future."
"Well, you're doing a good job," you praise, and your smile is brighter than the sun. "I'm proud of you."
"You are?"
"Yes," you say. "You're learning, evolving. Like a flower opening to the light."
Tech huffs a laugh. "That's an...unusual metaphor."
"But a fitting one," you point out, leaning into him.
"Perhaps," he admits. "Although if I were a plant, I would hope to be something more interesting than a flower."
"Like what?"
"Something useful," he muses. "A tomato, perhaps."
You laugh, loud and bright, and the sound makes his chest swell. He loves your laugh. It's warm, and full, and contagious. It fills him with a strange kind of joy, and he feels his lips twitch upwards.
"Only you would want to be a vegetable," you say, shaking your head in amusement.
"A tomato is a fruit," he corrects quickly. Both because he’s unable to resist, and because he knows you don’t mind and that he’ll find your response amusing.
"Oh, of course," you say with an exaggerated eye-roll. He smiles. "My apologies. A fruit, then."
"You are forgiven," he replies, a teasing lilt to his voice.
Tech leans over and presses a kiss to your temple. He's not sure why, but the urge strikes him, and he doesn't resist. He's learned by now that there are some impulses he should listen to. Especially when they involve you. Especially when it means he can feel your warmth, and the smoothness of your skin, and the way your breath hitches at the contact.
You tilt your head to look at him, and he sees the emotions flicker across your face. Surprise, and delight, and affection. You're always so expressive, and open, and his smile widens.
"What was that for?" you ask, raising an eyebrow.
"No reason," he murmurs. "Just...happy."
You grin and lean in, brushing your nose against his.
"Love you," you whisper.
"And I, you," he replies, his fingers reaching up to tangle in your hair. He brings you closer and kisses you, dipping his head and tilting to capture your lips just right. It's slow, and gentle, and perfect, and he's amazed, once again, at how natural it is. He doesn't know how he managed to live so long without this.
He doesn't know how he can ever again live without it.
“They’re going to be here soon,” you murmur against his lips, a note of amusement in your voice.
Tech hums in acknowledgement, but doesn't stop kissing you. He knows he should, but he can't bring himself to pull away. He wants to savor the moment. To memorize every detail, and burn the memory into his mind. You're perfect, and he's not ready to let go. Not yet.
You smile against his lips, and his grip tightens, pulling you closer in a way that makes you let out a breathy laugh. Your hands are on his arms, and your fingers are tracing lazy patterns on his skin as your mouth opens to him.
He can't help but feel a sense of smug satisfaction at the fact that he's the one making you laugh. That he's the one causing the blush that's spreading across your cheeks. That he's the one drawing these reactions from you.
He wants to draw more. Wants to see you smile, and hear you laugh, and watch your eyes light up with joy. He wants to keep doing this, over and over again. Until the stars die, and the galaxies collapse, and the universe falls apart around him. 
He wants to do this, and so much more, and it's a realization that makes his head spin.
He can't imagine his life without you. Without the sound of your laughter, and the feel of your hands, and the warmth of your body pressed against his. He can't imagine his life without the simple domesticity, and the quiet moments, and the uncomplicated love that comes from simply being.
He can't imagine his life without this feeling. Without this certainty. This happiness. And he's suddenly overcome with a desire to do everything he can to hold on to it. To do everything he can to make sure that it never fades.
"Tech..." you gasp, your fingers digging into his shirt.
He pulls away, his chest heaving, and looks at you. You're flushed and breathless, and his gaze drifts down to your lips, pink and slightly swollen from his kisses. He can't help himself. He leans in and kisses you again, a soft, chaste press of his lips to yours.
"They're really going to be here soon," you breathe, your forehead resting against his.
"I know," he sighs. He takes a deep breath and forces himself to pull away. "I should finish preparing dinner."
You nod, a slight frown on your face. Tech knows it's because you want him to keep kissing you, but you're also a stickler for punctuality, and you don't like making people wait. He doesn't either, but he finds that, when it comes to you, he's more than willing to break the rules. Just a little.
"I'll set the table," you offer as you step away. "And I need to get the dessert from the icebox. Do we have any honey left?"
"You made dessert?" he asks, unable to hide the excitement in his voice.
You'd taken to baking lately, and he'd found himself quite enjoying the results. Wrecker especially had developed a taste for your creations, and he was constantly begging you to make him more. Tech didn't mind. He was just happy to see you happy. And, if he was being honest, he didn't mind the extra sweets.
"Yes," you reply. "And before you ask, it's not a cake."
"A shame," he teases. "I was rather hoping for another one."
"You just want more frosting," you laugh. You point a finger at him, the corner of your mouth quirked up. "Don't think I haven't noticed."
"I'm not sure what you're referring to," he says innocently. He smirks as he turns back to the pot, stirring the mixture. "But if I were, I would admit nothing."
"Sure," you chuckle, rolling your eyes. You move away from him, grabbing the plates from the counter, and start arranging them on the table. The sound is comforting, familiar. He's gotten used to this. To the easy rhythm, the simple domesticity, the quiet moments. He never thought he would. Never thought he could. But, with you, he can.
"I think we have enough honey," he calls over his shoulder. "I bought some last time I went to the market. It's in the pantry."
"Thanks," you shout back. "I'll grab it after I finish setting the table."
He listens as you work, the sounds of your movements soothing. You move about the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets, retrieving the dishes and cutlery, arranging everything just so. He's learned by now not to interfere. You have a particular method, and a routine, and he's learned that it's better not to interrupt.
Instead, he adds a few finishing touches to the stew. Some more herbs, a dash of seasoning, a bit of extra salt. He stirs, and tastes, and nods, satisfied. It's good. Better than the first few times, at least. He's pleased with the results, and he hopes that the others will enjoy the meal as much as you always seem to.
"It smells wonderful," you say as you appear beside him. "It'll be nice to have the whole family over. I haven’t seen Echo since…” Your voice trails off, and you shake your head. “Well, not for a while."
"I know," Tech says, his voice soft. He knows that, while the time you spent apart from the others was hard on him, it was harder on you. He had lost his brothers, but you had lost everything. The family you had made, the friends you had known. All gone. You had never even said goodbye.
He's grateful that you've all been able to come together again, in a way. That you're not alone, and neither is he.
"I'm glad they're all okay," you say. "And I'm glad they have a place where they can finally be safe. Where we can all be safe."
"It's a good place," Tech agrees. Pabu is small and remote, and it's far removed from the dangers of the galaxy. They don't have the resources of Coruscant, or the defenses of Kamino, but they're content. They're safe. They're free.
You pause, tilting your head, and he can tell you're listening. He can't hear anything, but he knows you can. He knows you can sense them. It's still strange, after all this time, but it's becoming less so. Less unsettling. More...natural.
"They're here," you announce, a slight smile on your face. "Are you ready?"
"Yes," he replies as his fingers slip into yours. "Let's go greet our guests."
The door opens, and the sounds of laughter drift in, followed by a gust of cool air. Omega's the first to step through, and she rushes towards you, practically tackling you in a hug. The others file in, greeting Tech and giving you warm embraces, and soon, the small house is filled with familiar voices.
Wrecker claps Tech on the shoulder, nearly knocking him over on his way to the kitchen. Hunter offers him a quiet smile and a nod. Crosshair gives him a look that's equal parts sarcastic and fond, and Echo pulls him into a one-armed hug.
"It's good to see you," Echo says, his gaze drifting to you. He gives you a nod and a questioning look, and you dip your head in return. "Both of you."
"Likewise," Tech says, the corner of his mouth tugging into a small smile.
"The food smells great," Hunter remarks.
"I'll put some extra spice in it for you," Crosshair drawls, nudging Tech out of the way and moving towards the kitchen, where Wrecker is already sampling the food.
"Please, don't," Echo groans as he follows him.
The others settle in, spreading out across the room, and the atmosphere quickly becomes comfortable and familiar. Tech watches as they banter, and joke, and bicker, and a small part of him misses the days when it was just the five of them. But, it's a small part, and an insignificant one. Because, while those days were good, these ones are better. Because you're here. And, because he's finally allowed to have you. To love you.
You catch his eye and give him a warm smile, and he can't help but return it.
Yes, things are better, now. Much, much better.
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The first thing Tech notices when he awakes is the smell of rain. It’s faint, but it’s there, and he rolls over, breathing deeply. The rain on Pabu is different than Kamino's, softer, and earthier, and he’s come to enjoy it. He cracks open an eye, taking in the sight of the droplets trickling down the darkened window.
The second thing he notices is the absence of you.
Tech's eyes snap open, and his gaze immediately seems out your form, but the bed is empty, and his heart leaps into his throat. He reaches out, his hands brushing against the cold sheets, and he swallows thickly, forcing himself to take a deep breath. He’s being irrational, and his mind is playing tricks on him. You are here. You’re safe. You’re home.
He rises from the bed and crosses the room, his bare feet sinking into the plush rug that you had insisted on purchasing for your new home together. Tech is still not convinced of its practicality, but the way it feels beneath his feet is pleasant, so he never protested. And, judging by the number of times he had caught you walking across it barefoot, pacing in circles as you typed away on your datapad, you seem to enjoy it as well.
Tech smiles slightly at the memory and opens the door, stepping into the hallway. The house is dark, save for a small lamp that's glowing softly in the living room. He pads down the hall and comes to a stop when he reaches the threshold. 
You’re sitting in the center of the floor, the soft glow of the light illuminating your features. Your legs are crossed underneath you, and your head is bowed as if in prayer. He can see your shoulders rise and fall with each breath, and the quiet tension that seems to constantly radiate from you has lessened somewhat. But there is still a weariness in the way you held yourself, a weight that has not yet been lifted.
Tech stands in the doorway for a moment, simply watching you. The sight of you meditating is not an unfamiliar one, and neither is the way his heart fluttered when he sees you. But the intensity of his feelings still takes him by surprise. He can only imagine what it would be like in the future. He doesn’t think it will ever stop, this overwhelming love he felt for you.
"Are you going to stand there all night, or are you going to join me?"
Tech starts slightly, his heart jumping at the sound of your voice. You turn to look at him, a small smile playing across your lips, and he can’t help but return it.
"I wasn't sure if I was allowed," he says quietly. He crosses the room, grabbing a blanket from the couch as he did so. You watch him, your expression softening as he carefully arranges the blanket around your shoulders before settling down next to you.
"Of course you're allowed," you murmur, shifting closer to him. "This is your home, too."
"I know," he says. "I was merely giving you some space. I did not wish to intrude."
You shake your head and let out a soft sigh. "Tech, I appreciate the sentiment, but I've had plenty of space. More than enough."
He hesitates for a moment, searching your expression. You seem calm, and the usual tension that lines your features had faded, but he’s still unsure. He had not wanted to push you, to ask for anything more than you were willing to give. And, though you had been open and welcoming with him in the months since your return, he’s still unsure how to act. He doesn’t quite know the boundaries, and he’s still afraid of crossing them, of hurting you.
"You don't have to worry, Tech," you say softly, as if sensing his thoughts. Perhaps you did. He would not be surprised. Your abilities were impressive, even by his standards. "I'm okay. I promise."
"Are you?" he asks, the question slipping from his mouth before he could stop it.
You pause, your brows drawing together. Tech holds his breath, waiting.
"Yes," you finally say, your voice firm. "I'm alright."
"Okay," he says.
You sigh and shake your head. "You're not going to believe me, are you?"
"I believe that you are trying to convince yourself," he replies gently. "But I also know that it is not as easy as just deciding that everything is okay."
"Tech—"
"Please, let me finish," he interrupts, holding up a hand.
You bite your lip, but remain silent, waiting.
"I know that it will take time," he says, his gaze falling to his hands. "And I know that there are some things that will never fully heal. But, if you are willing, I would like to be there for you. To help you in any way that I can."
He glances at you, and he finds you staring at him, your expression unreadable.
"Tech," you say quietly. "I know what you're doing."
"What?" he asks, surprised. "What do you mean?"
"You're trying to take care of me," you say, a wry smile tugging at your lips.
"Is that so terrible?" he mutters. His brows furrow as he studies your face, trying to understand your reaction.
"No," you reply. Your voice is soft and reassuring, but he can tell by the way you wring your hands that it’s more than that. "It's not. But I can take care of myself. I've been doing it for a while now. Long before you showed up."
"I know," he murmurs. "But you don't have to anymore. I am here now. And I will not leave you. I promise."
Your smile softens, and you lean against him, resting your head on his shoulder. He shifts, wrapping an arm around you, and his hand settles on your waist, his fingers stroking lightly over the fabric of your shirt. His shirt, actually. The one that he had lent you last week, and had yet to get back. Not that he minds. Seeing you in his clothes is more satisfying than he would have thought.
"I want to help," he says softly, his gaze fixed on the rain streaking down the window. "But only if you let me."
You don’t respond, and for a moment, he thinks that maybe he had said something wrong. Maybe he had overstepped. Maybe you weren't ready. But then you let out a breath, a long, shaky exhale, and he feels your body relax against him.
"I'm sorry," you whisper.
"For what?" he asks gently.
"For making you worry," you say, your voice thick with emotion. "I just...I didn't want to bother you. I didn't want to be a burden."
"You are not a burden, Sarad," he replies. "You never have been, and you never will be."
"Thank you," you murmur, nestling closer to him. He holds you, letting his hand drift up and down your arm, feeling the tension begin to leave your body. It’s a familiar motion, one that has become habitual, and it soothes both of you. He can feel his own anxiety fading, and his mind grows clearer, his thoughts less jumbled. The simple contact, the feeling of your presence next to him, is grounding.
"I missed you," you say after a while. "So much."
"I missed you, too," he murmurs.
"When I was on Nar Shaddaa, all I could think about was how much I wanted to go home," you continue, your voice barely audible. "Not the place, just...the feeling. Of being with you."
He tightens his grip on you, his arm around your waist pulling you closer.
"But now that I'm here and things have settled down, it's hard," you say. "With the Order, I had a purpose. A reason to keep going. And now, it's like I've lost my anchor."
Tech nods, his chin bumping against the top of your head. "I understand. After the war ended, and we defected from the Empire, the rest of the squad and I felt similarly. We had always had a sense of direction, but once the fight was over, it was difficult to find a new one."
"Yes," you breathe. "Exactly."
"But we found it," he says, his hand squeezing your shoulder. "Together."
You turn your face, burying it in the crook of his neck, and he feels a rush of warmth spread through him. The feeling of your breath on his skin is comforting, and he closes his eyes, letting his head fall against yours.
"We will find your new purpose," he says, his voice low and soft. "It will take time, but we will. And, in the meantime, we will have each other."
You hum in agreement, your hand slipping into his and giving it a gentle squeeze. "I love you."
"I love you, too," he says, his lips pressing a kiss against your forehead.
"Do you think we'll ever feel normal again?"
He thinks for a moment before speaking, not wanting to upset you further, but he can’t find any answer that isn’t the truth.
"No," he finally says. "I don't believe so. Not truly."
You let out a breath, and Tech can hear the disappointment in it. He turns his head, letting his cheek rest on top of your head.
"That's what I thought," you sigh sadly. You move to pull away, but he holds firm.
"But, normal is subjective," he continues, his hand running up and down your arm. "And we have never been normal, so I do not think we have much to worry about."
"I guess," you reply. "It's just hard, sometimes. Being here. Trying to fit in. Especially when I have no idea what I'm supposed to do next."
"Neither do I," he says honestly. "But I have faith that we will figure it out."
You huff a sound halfway between a laugh and a sob. "When did you get so optimistic?"
"I learned from the best," he replies, a smile tugging at his lips. You pull from his embrace, and he feels a brief moment of panic before he sees the amusement shining in your eyes through the tears.
"I'm hardly the best," you chuckle.
"In my opinion, you are," he says firmly.
"Well, your opinion is biased."
"It is an opinion based on fact," he counters, raising an eyebrow as he turns his head toward you. You snort, rolling your eyes, but the smile remains on your lips.
You push yourself up onto your knees, and you lean forward, brushing a kiss against his lips. It’s brief, but it leaves him reeling. When you pull back, your cheeks are flushed, and he feels a surge of affection for you.
"Thank you," you say softly, your eyes meeting his. There’s a warmth in your gaze, a vulnerability that he had rarely seen, and he finds himself leaning forward, wanting to be closer to you again. "For everything. For being here, and for listening. And for just...being you."
He smiles, his hand coming up to cup your cheek. "Always."
You press a kiss against his palm, and his heart swells, his chest feeling lighter than it had in weeks. He’s struck once more by how lucky he is to have you back in his life. After everything he had gone through, after everything you had endured, it seemed impossible. But, somehow, the universe had brought you together once more. And, despite everything that had happened, he has no doubt that, together, you can face whatever the future held.
"Come on," you say, standing and extending a hand. "Let's go to bed."
Tech lets you pull him up, and his arms wrap around your waist, holding you close. You tilt your head, gazing up at him, and his breath catches in his throat. There’s no fear, no anxiety, no doubt. Only peace, and happiness, and love.
"Sarad..."
"Yes?"
He leans down, his lips finding yours. It’s a gentle, tender kiss, but it’s enough to make his pulse quicken. You melt into him, your hands sliding up his chest and tangling in his hair. He pulls you closer, his fingers gripping the fabric of your shirt. You tug him down, deepening the kiss, and he can’t help but sigh. It feels so right, and it’s so easy to lose himself in the sensation, to forget about everything else.
When you finally break apart, the two of you are breathing heavily, and your foreheads are pressed together.
"That was nice," you murmur, a small grin tugging at the corner of your lips.
"Indeed," Tech agrees.
You lean up on your toes, brushing a kiss against his cheek, and his grip tightens on you, keeping you close.
"So," you say, your voice low and soft. "Bed?"
"Yes," he whispers.
Your hand finds his, and your fingers lace together as you lead him out of the room, the blanket trailing behind you. He follows you down the hall, through the doorway, and into the bedroom, his eyes never leaving you.
The door closes behind you, and Tech lets out a sigh, his shoulders slumping as the last of the tension seeps from his body. The house is quiet and still, save for the faint sound of rain trickling down the roof. The darkness envelops the two of you, but he’s content to simply bask in your presence.
"You're quiet tonight," you observe as you make your way to the bed.
"I have a lot on my mind," he admits, following you.
"Anything you want to talk about?" you ask, settling onto the mattress.
He hesitates for a moment, unsure of how to answer. The words are on the tip of his tongue, the ones that had been there for a while, but he doesn’t know how to say them. Doesn’t know if you were ready. And he doesn’t want to pressure you, not when so much is already uncertain.
"No," he says, joining you. "I'm alright."
"Okay," you murmur, curling into his side. He wraps an arm around you, his hand splayed across your back, and he lets out a long, slow breath. He can feel your heart beating, strong and steady, and he matches his breathing to the rhythm.
"I'm sorry," you whisper, your voice thick with emotion. "I know this can't be easy for you."
"No," he agrees. "It isn't."
"But it's worth it," he adds. "Every moment with you is worth it."
You bury your face in the crook of his neck, hiding your tears, and he tightens his hold on you, pulling you close. Your breath is hot against his skin, and he feels your tears dampen his shirt, but he doesn’t mind. His hand drifts up and down your back, a soothing motion that he hopes is helping.
"I love you," you mumble into his chest.
"I love you, too," he replies, placing a kiss on the top of your head.
"I wish I could take away your pain," you say quietly.
"You already have," he assures you.
"What do you mean?"
"Being here, with you, is the closest thing to happiness I've known," he explains. "I would endure any pain, suffer any hardship, to have this."
You’re silent for a moment, and he can feel your heartbeat quicken.
"Really?" you ask, your voice small and vulnerable.
"Yes," he replies firmly.
You look up at him, your gaze searching, and he meets it unflinchingly. He wants you to see the truth, the sincerity, the depth of his emotions. Because it’s true. Because, despite everything, you are still the center of his universe.
"You know, Tech," you begin, a small smile tugging at your lips. "This might be the most romantic thing anyone has ever said to me."
"I’m pleased to hear it," he says as a matching smile stretched across his face. “I will note the time and date.”
You chuckle, shaking your head. "I don't know what I would do without you."
"Hopefully, you will never have to find out," he says earnestly.
"Yeah," you sigh. You settle against him once more, your head on his chest. "Hopefully."
He holds you, his arms encircling you, and he can feel your body relaxing, your muscles loosening. Your breathing is evening out, and he can tell that you were falling asleep. It’s been a long day, and a difficult night, and you need the rest. He wants nothing more than to give it to you.
"The rain," you murmur, your voice barely audible. "Reminds me of Kamino."
"It does," he agrees, his own eyes starting to grow heavy.
"I missed it.”
"Me too.”
You shift, moving closer, and his hands instinctively come up to hold you. He’s tired, but he doesn’t want to sleep, didn't want to miss a single moment with you. But his body is betraying him, and his mind is growing fuzzy. The exhaustion is too much, and his eyes slip closed, the darkness enveloping him.
He feels the blankets shift as you curl into him, and your breath is warm on his neck, a comforting sensation. You’re close, and real, and solid. You’re here, and that was all that mattered. He would give anything, would do anything, to keep you here, with him. To keep you safe.
And, with that thought in mind, Tech surrenders himself to sleep, knowing that, when he awoke, you would be there.
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